#granted i'm not close to very many people. at least not until very recently.

[piratebay]

im really just sad. and i don't know what to do.

[littleapocalypsekitten]

*Looks in on the American Politics tag and asks self WHY?!" Okay, I am no political expert, but I'm middle-aged, have been politically-aware for American politics and have probably been casting my ballot for longer than half of tumblr has been alive. (I mea culpa for that time I voted for George W. Bush. It happened once and did NOT happen again). I was registered as an Independent until recently, left-leaning since 2004 or so... Yes, I am THAT old. I'd say I've been politically aware even since before 2000 since some of my favorite cartoons liked to make fun of politicians (I was really into Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain and politics was the source of many gags, showing that they were not shows just for children). Urk, anyway, with the election so close and people talking about some very serious issues, I thought it high time to remind people of certain things, things I have observed in every election year. Politicians talk out of both sides of their asses. Party doesn't matter, it's a fact. They will say what they think they have to in order to fetch the most votes. Whether they actually keep their campaign promises when in power is up to them and up to a number of other factors, such as how many other people on their side are elected (as well as how many of them do turncoating). - (I honestly did not expect John Fetterman to become the asshole that he became when I voted for him, but I still suspect he's better than Dr. Oz). This can be good or bad. I suspect, for instance, that the signs pointing to Kamala Harris continuing "Genocide Joe's" policies might actually get reversed once she's done having to play pussyfoot with "yay Israel no matter what" voters who are for the Dems' other policies. I've seen signs that she doesn't entirely agree with everything that Biden is doing (and remember, she's just the VICE President, she doesn't make policy. Her job is twofold: Tiebreaking vote in the Senate if the Senate gets tied on something and "Be there if the President falls down dead." That's it). Policy is such that Bills are proposed in the House of Representatives, are pass / fail in the Senate and if passed, go to the President's desk to be signed into Law or not. Executive Orders are another thing, but I believe there is a sharp limit on them, because we do not have a Monarch. Granted, I think the likelyhood of Harris continuing on Biden's track of supporting an ally-nation with the materials of war when almost any other nation would be getting sanctions is strong, but I do think there's a chance that Harris is pussyfooting for votes and can be reasoned with on the "stop supporting genocide!" thing. Maybe. Hopefully. I also think that "we" have limited power over what other world leaders do, ultimately. Trump would send nukes. American Foreign Policy Always Sucks. That's just the whole of it. We are an empire. There is no moral purity in living in / being born in an empire. I don't have to agree with it, I was just born here and for a variety of reasons, can't get out. Anyone who has the "America is World Police / Superman of Nations / Supposed to be the "moral" nation" was probably taught an idealistic history (as my generation was). Kick American Exceptionalism to the curb! I am planning to vote. It is my personal decision and it's not because I am supporting our horrid foreign policy, it is because I really don't think there's much to be done about it since it's sucked AT LEAST since the Vietnam War and I am concerned with domestic policy primarily (I make no secret about being selfish, concerned about things such as my status as a disabled non-wealthy queerish woman, and with concerns about my family) and I really think as far as foreign policy - either way is going to suck, one guy is going to suck harder (and possibly turn the world into a radioactive wasteland through either evil or dementia - and not the fun kind, like Fallout).

[tarulink]

what is your zelda notp and why? Is there another zelink you love besides oot zelink?

Hello anon!

Uuuh well... There's only one ship that I don't like in Zelda franchise and it's Malink, not bc the ship is bad, bc the fandom ruined it to me.

Ok this will be too long but here goes: I am a baby in this fandom I have only started loving the franchise for 4 months so there are things that I still need to understand. My first Zelda was BOTW, so I had no idea about the plot of OOT BUT I remember that in forums and facebook groups people mentioned that there was a canonical ship in that game confirmed by Nintendo, at first I believed that, of course that ship was Link x Malon. I didn't know who Malon was until I saw some Uzucake fanart and thought "well maybe she's a close friend of Link and they have a nice development!" I remember I asked a friend and he told me it wasn't true, so I was very confused!! Then I played the game and realized they were just friends? She couldn't remember him 7 years later until you played Epona's song and only then she remember him, which leads me to think that they didn't have such a close friendship. Then I read the famous theory, the first time I read it it made some sense but then I started to think "how are they canon if in the game they barely even interacted??" then I drew my own conclusions and investigated a little deeper. I realized that theory didn't make sense. And look, it's perfectly fine for everyone to have their own headcanons about their favorite ships, but the problem lies when you take that headcanon as canon and force others to believe it. I started to dislike that ship because when I was looking for OOT Zelink fanarts on Twitter and Facebook, there ALWAYS were comments saying that Malon was his real wife, there were comments from people comparing Malon and Zelda, I even saw insults towards the works of the artists who drew OOT Zelink WHICH IS DISRESPECTFUL. I'm talking to you about recent times, the fandom has changed, the popularity of ships has changed, what happens now is not the same as what happened in the early 2000s or 2010s. I feel like... Malink became "popular" among the problematic community of the Zelda fandom due to this theory that over the years they have taken for granted that it's canon and that many people who support that theory are the same people who hate Oot Zelda. You'll be surprised how many videos on YouTube there are about this topic and how many people support it (at least on the western side the ship became very popular). Of course there are nice people who don't behave like that, I'm just speaking from my experiences. I prefer malink as buddies, I enjoy fanfics where Malon and Zelda are besties:(

Also yes! I support all Zelinks but here's my top 3 :

OOT Zelink

BOTW/TOTK Zelink

SS Zelink

[kyetalksshit]

12/30/2023

I'm well aware at this point that this is nothing more than a virtual diary, and tbh I kinda like it that way. I've very recently started being more active again on tumblr and, as is my routine, started scrolling back through my text posts (especially the private ones -- wow there are so many hahaha), and had a wild time reliving the past.

I think it was a private one, but the most recent (or at least one of the most recent) was about Connor, back when we were both still in California. Ironically, we're both back in NC now, and even though I think about them a lot, I'm very relieved I haven't run into them. Thanks to some intel from my sister, I avoid the food lion in our hometown at all costs.

Something I kept thinking though was, it never had to get to that point. We were never meant to be friends that long, and in fact I don't think we were really even meant to be best friends past high school. Maybe even in high school. I mean some of this I've realized on my own ofc, but reading back over how I felt at the time...

Dude that whole friendship started because they fell in love with Kristen, their first best friend, but she was straight and stopped being so close with them after that. I've always been tender hearted and eager for love in any form, and so when they suddenly turned and looked at me and said ok we can be best friends now, instead of being offended that I wasn't appreciated until they had no other option, I excitedly ran into their arms. My family never liked them either, which I should have taken as a red or at least yellow flag, but instead it just made me cling to them more. At some point, my dad trying to tell me that it's ok for high school friendships to falter in college, just fueled my determination to hang onto it no matter how miserable I was.

They literally always took me for granted, and while I think they lowkey hated me, they loved the space that I filled in their life. And the fact that despite all of that, at our absolute worst I was wracked with guilt and pain and tried my hardest to work out my own frustrations on my own instead of calling them out for their toxic and shitty behavior? I understand why I did it, but goddamn I wish I hadn't had to.

Anyway.

I'm back in NC now, just had my first real Christmas in 6 years (or longer if we're not counting the ones where my family and I felt estranged even when I was physically there). It was wonderful and my heart is full. I've been able to see my old friends all the time whether we're playing dnd or not, and I've missed them so much. There have been moments of tension for me lately in that regard but overall I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm in this townhouse for another month and then I'll have to move again, and my roommate is currently silently moving her stuff out today even though we've got another month. I have a new job working at a vet office as a "pet counselor" and I love it.

There's not much going on for me right now except financial stress, planning for my future, and finally getting to spend time with people I love without reserve. But even so, the whole situation with Connor has been so heavy on my mind lately and I just wanted a space to grieve on that for a bit. Not to grieve the end of the friendship, but to grieve the time I lost while putting off the end.

[sparkymediaseminar]

An Advanced, Dehumanized World [Module 7]

Considering how many technological advancements we've experienced in the past decade alone, it's honestly almost absurd how close we are to resembling the sci-fi worlds we've imagined for decades. Unfortunately, the way we're going has given the overall impression that our world will resemble Blade Runner rather than Star Trek. Granted, Star Trek takes place much farther in the future than Blade Runner [give us a few centuries], so the Blade Runner phase might be viewed as a rough but necessary step into a potentially better future. That is, assuming we don't nuke ourselves first.

Watching this video brought me some perspective on the matter. It showcases many of the new technologies that are just coming about in recent years, many of which will be game-changing.

Some of the entries are things I'd genuinely root for. Hydrogen fuel has me excited, graphene, regenerating concrete, and 3D printing all look cool. Fighting fire with sound is genuinely innovative, and caught me off guard with how genius it is.

Others, however, terrify and disturb me. Chat bots that could replace human writers? OH GOD NO PLEASE KILL IT NOW. AI "art" was already disgusting with how dehumanizing it is, we don't need to rub salt into the wound. Don't get me started on the blockchain, either. NFTs and the Metaverse have already proven themselves to be an absolute joke, we don't need anymore of that parasitic trash.

I want to have hope for the future, but certain things make me dread it. For all the fantastic, advancements in technology that will benefit society in legitimate ways, there's also technology that seems almost reductive in it's purpose. Sure, you could argue that a chatbot could be useful for rapid-fire news coverage, and it's just inevitable that countless journalists will lose their jobs and starve in the streets. But what kind of consequences will that have for humanity as a whole?

Advanced AI in general is deeply worrying in it's concept alone. I'm going to jump to the conclusion that Skynet will become a reality and drive us to extinction. What I will say is that our increased reliance on technology can result in humanity becoming infantile. If we'll no longer need other human beings to provide for our various needs, wouldn't that just end up draining us? If art and literature become replaced by mass-produced AI "art" and "writing", wouldn't we end up losing our incentive to be creative? Wouldn't that degrade us mentally and emotionally? If robots are able to carry out all labor for us, wouldn't be just become lazy and lethargic? Would people have any reason to live? If people don't become vegetables in this brave new world, what's stopping them from offing themselves instead?

Considering our current technological climate, it's also worth discussing the post-Covid world. As discussed in this article, the pandemic essentially forced rapid changes in how our society uses technology in daily life, primarily with the internet. Since so many people were barred from venturing outside their homes and communities, they had to work from home and communicate with coworkers through video calls and emails. As much as we'd like to just "go back to normal", the article stresses that this is unlikely. Working at home will become the new norm. When we have the internet and remote communication in our hands, is there any reason for workers to meet in person anymore? No, there isn't. Not from a business standpoint, at least. People might still want to meet up with friends in private, though. It doesn't change the fact that our lives are becoming more isolated by the minute.

I took up online classes just around a year before the pandemic started, back in 2018. High school. Nevada Virtual Academy. At first, I liked being able to attend class in my own bedroom. Seemed very convenient for a bit, but it wasn't long until I realized how closed off I felt. Students could still communicate with each other in the chat room via text, but it just isn't the same thing as being in a real room with other people who you can connect with. People with faces. People with voices, with body language. It was such a startling change compared to the 8th grade, which was bustling with activity constantly. I remember feeling that the 8th grade was too chaotic back then, but now I can't help but miss how ALIVE it felt. I used to prefer keeping to myself, sitting at my own little desk and drowning out all the noise to focus on my work. Now, I can't help but crave interaction. I miss it.

I've been taking online classes for a while, haven't changed much at all since I first entered in 2018. Five years later, used to it. I guess it was nice being already accustomed to online school just as Covid hit us. The lack of regular social contact has sapped from me, though. Sapped my sanity. I guess I just feel a lot less stable and happy compared to years ago. Lots of mood swings. Many petty delusions.

MacArthur Middle School...yes, I miss you so much.

My point is, the isolation that's becoming our new norm isn't healthy. Social and cultural climates always change, but it's not always for the better.

Sources: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLlL46pYcg4

“The future of work comes early,” Bev White, Retrieved from: https://www.harveynash.com/latest-news/the-future-of-work-comes-early

[donnerpartyofone]

I can't stop thinking about VORTEX. It brought together so many of my own contemporary thoughts about death, including a specific death from a couple of years ago, and a death I learned of several hours after I watched the movie. I don't even know if this is worth typing up but sometimes my weird burst of AM exhibitionism helps me warm up for a day of reading and writing, so I don't know. We'll see how it goes.

I was recently commissioned to do this big piece on Dario Argento that is simultaneously a great opportunity--certainly it will enjoy more exposure than anything else I've done--and a scary thing to have to do, since you're speaking to a large body of established scholarship (plus a lot of passionate personal opinions) when you work on a subject this famous. I've been at it for a while now, but it took me a long time to realize that how deep the whole Argento thing ran for me. I don't know about you but my appreciation for the classics feels a little different than my appreciation for niche items that feel more uniquely personal, or even private. I mean I love the films of Dario Argento and, like a lot of people, my history of thinking seriously about genre cinema began (in part) with the discovery of this work that invites such serious consideration. At the same time, though, it's easy to think of the Argento filmography the way you might think about, I don't know what, the Egyptian pyramids, or Mount Fuji. Or even hamburgers or pizza. Something so big and ubiquitous that you love it as much as you almost take it for granted. When I was working on Michele Soavi last fall, that felt like a very personal thing to do; he has plenty of fans, but his movies are far less exposed, even less available for a long time, and not much of substance had been written about him. Working on Argento made me feel like I had to be very clever, even somewhat perverse, to find something special and fresh to say about him. It surprised me when, halfway through the project, a great weight suddenly landed on me, consuming me even in my sleep.

Maybe it should have been obvious that this would happen. I was a dyed in the wool horror lover from the moment my parents pressed play, much to their chagrin, but I didn't quite realize that there were people out there taking the genre seriously until I was all the way in college. There I met my best friend, who is slightly younger but who I consider a mentor due not only to her passion and erudition, but also because she exposed me to the whole cottage industry (more of an underground at the time) of thinkers and artists and conservationists that had grown up around horror. Together we even met and became close with someone who produced scholarly writing and had relationships with some of our heroes and programmed for a major festival, and who revealed to us a whole world of movies--and a certain way of thinking about them--that changed the course of our lives. Certainly my life, at least.

Unfortunately this person was not a good guy. I was barely old enough to drink when we met, still a virgin, still extremely naive, and also mentally unsound. I couldn't believe I was striking up a friendship with this brilliant professional in his 30s who simultaneously represented what I wanted to do with my life, and also what I thought I wanted in a boyfriend. Things went about as well as you might expect. I'll spare you (and myself) the details but my most glib version of events is that over the course of a few years, he cultivated a totally inappropriate relationship with me for the main purpose of torturing his actual girlfriend. I'm sure I wasn't alone, either, as he kept a roladex full of too-young women who he'd had inappropriate relationships with, just to maintain a steady stream of attention and drama. It's not an exaggeration to say he had total control of my mind at the time, it's a good thing he didn't want me to rob a bank or anything. Being involved with him tainted my other relationships and made it very hard to graduate from college. When the level of toxic ridiculousness became so extreme that even I couldn't miss it and I just stopped talking to him (it was abundantly clear by then that dialoging with him was not going to fix anything and maybe fixing things was actually a bad idea), he went out of his mind for a little while. It felt like I must have been the only person who had ever said no to him, which was gratifying. He made intermittent attempts to get me back in his harem for ten or fifteen years, without ever even implying that he might want to apologize for something. The last time I heard from him, he had found this blog somehow and left an anonymous message suggesting that maybe I accidentally lost his number and email address and here they are if I feel like chatting. I learned through the grapevine that he had recently ended a brief marriage to some other inappropriate young woman. A few months later I learned from Twitter that he suddenly died. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have tried to talk to him one last time, but I'm pretty sure I know exactly what that would have been like. I guess I feel like I "won" in some fucked up way.

Of course Argento was one of his main guys, and he was the first person to kind of teach me how people talk about Argento, which became a window on how to interpret a world of other movies that don't follow the usual rules. There was a personal angle on this topic, too: Among those of us who accept that horror should not be politically correct, there are those who use the genre as a lens through which to interrogate difficult and antisocial experiences, and those of us who use it as a justification for difficult and antisocial behavior, ala "These films show us a hyperbolic version of human nature, but it is human nature all the same." The guy in question made all of his relationships into a torture chamber, and if cornered he was happy to throw up his hands and say "The heart wants what it wants" or whatever, as if he couldn't possibly be held responsible for the dark mystery of his own actions. It made sense that his favorite director would be someone with a well-known history of combative relationships and not-entirely-professional behavior. (I have a rather large tattoo of Daria Niccolodi, whose substantial creative contributions to Argento's finest work are often unfairly reduced to the vaguery of "muse") But over time I managed not to worry about any of this. Eventually the monolithic idea of Argento became decoupled from my personal experiences, remaining only as an acceptable and useful part of my training. And of course, the films are still a source of great pleasure.

Still, I managed to have a vivid and unsettling dream as my deadline countdown began and I was deep into the Argento memoir (which I have to read in Italian for various reasons, something I can do a little bit with deep concentration and technological assistance). The dream amounted to a vivid fantasy of dramatically telling the guy off like I always should have, choosing my own life and loved ones over him. When I woke up I had one of those disturbing moments of remembering that someone is dead all over again. Even though the dream was positive and maybe even cathartic, I was profoundly unsettled. It made sense that an item like this would never be completely resolved, but I didn't expect it to come roaring back to life like that. I underestimated the effects of my doing this kind of writing in public for the first time, over the last year or two--the very thing that originally tied me to this guy. When he was still alive, anytime I went to a film event I would compulsively scan the room and make note of the nearest exits. If he were alive now, as I'm being published on some of his favorite subjects, I would be worrying about hearing from him somehow. Now that he's dead I almost feel like I missed out on something. A chance to prove myself as his peer or competitor; or if our friendship had survived, a chance to hear him congratulate me, or have him treat me like an equal; or...I don't really know what. I just feel very strange.

I decided to give my brain a little break from reading and writing, and made an extra credit assignment out of watching the recent Gaspar Noe movie VORTEX. I had just seen the new Argento documentary PANICO in which Noe discussed directing Argento in a leading role. It's easy to love or hate Noe, but I tend to stay on the fence with an eyebrow cocked; I think that if you let him offend you or impress you too much, you're sort of falling into his trap. I really enjoy I STAND ALONE, which is just too outrageous to be genuinely offensive, and I seem to recall liking ENTER THE VOID to whatever degree--but actually it occurs to me that the dead guy I'm eulogizing here claimed to have somehow inspired IRREVERSIBLE; supposedly Noe had asked him to find a bootleg of the rape-themed porno FORCED ENTRY, which Noe found "so fucking funny", and supposedly IRREVERSIBLE was born not long later. Whatever. Anyway. I was curious about Argento's performance and I'm generally curious about aging and grief on film, so I checked out VORTEX and I was pleasantly surprised by how thoughtful and cogent it was. Argento himself is really good. It's a satisfying film.

With that said: As the movie unspooled I felt that I was contending with it pretty well, and then at some point in the last act it hit me like a ton of bricks and I just couldn't stop crying. I was thinking about the future of my marriage, and about us dying. I thought about my dad dying. I thought about that stupid guy dying. I had the strange feeling that I had been confronted with the fact that Dario Argento is not a young man, he seems to have already given us the greatest art that he will ever make, and we may lose him at any moment. The strange, embarrassing grief and mourning of a celebrity will come for us sooner than we think. It's the same for many of the people whose art gave shape to my life. I don't know what to say about it.

Later that night, shortly before dinner, I found out about the suicide of a certain artist who reached his extreme conclusion in the aftermath of accusations of sexual misconduct. I don't want to name the artist because I don't want this post to turn into a discussion of that exact guy and his work and legacy and the exact nature of the allegations etc. I don't even understand it all very well. He was someone I never thought about that much, although I was abundantly aware of him. I had been away from the subculture to which he belongs for years, for purely external and personal reasons. I didn't know he was under fire. The claims against him seemed to describe a situation I would characterize (as I'm able to understand it anyway) as "kind of gross"--kind of sketchy, in kind of poor taste--but neither criminal nor scary. Which is of course just my hazy opinion on a situation I'm not involved in. But apparently things quickly ballooned into a highly public social media trial that destroyed many of his personal and professional relationships, and dramatically affected his income and future prospects. I do not know if these effects could be considered truly proportional to his indiscretions. I also do not know if his suicide could be considered a proportional response to his predicament. What I do know is that his lengthy suicide note was very well thought-out and carefully articulated (whether one thinks it was actually fair or decent is a different question), and from what I can see, everyone on the internet is picking the most extreme reaction they can possibly think of. Like every single person who is being vocal about this, on every side, is being pompous and awful. The one part-way reasoned response that I read had its own problem, I thought, which is that it was so entirely ideological. It was the ideology of the artist's presumed ethics against the ideology of the true ethics that should have reigned him in or led to remediation. It was the reduction of everything to something like game theory: a condition we all live in now, where everything we think and do is plugged into some vast academic switchboard that illuminates larger social and moral patterns. It's so fucking weird. I often think that dogma comes from the fact that most people aren't high-minded self-aware philosophers and they really do want and need guidelines that are helpfully established by others--but then the guidelines become exalted way above the bittersweet messiness of life that they were meant to help with, and suddenly it's as if there's no psychology, no emotional life, no human weakness, nothing to consider except whether us anonymous members of the teeming masses have followed the rules. We're left talking about contemporary human foibles the way people talk about the Civil War or something, some distant historical fact to convert into pure theory. Holding individuals accountable for their destructiveness, and understanding that no person or crime exists in a vacuum--those things are important. But our collective, public attempts to grapple with those things have produced some truly strange outcomes. I have been thinking about the artist's family continuously.

I worked through Easter weekend and went to church this morning. The Wednesday priest is a real literalist and not usually that inspiring, but he said something really uplifting today. Masses are typically focused on acknowledging one's faults, which is a necessary step in any course of self-improvement--and of course things can and have gone off the rails there because instead of thinking of humility and reconciliation as steps in a positive process, people slam on the brakes at step 1 and fetishize self-loathing and shame and punishment, which has all sorts of unfortunate social and political effects. But anyway, the readings were about how the Apostles behaved in the aftermath of the crucifixion, how they--the guys who basically thought Jesus was leading them to the White House and everything was going to be great--found the strength to pick themselves up again and find meaning and dignity in the things they would go on to do. And the priest invited everyone to think about a time they'd hit rock bottom, or something close to it, and to remember what were the personal qualities and abilities that enabled them to keep on living a decent life. I was so impressed by this, I thought of many answers right away. Then during the part of the mass where we're all supposed to "show each other a sign of peace" across the pews, one of the lectors--a very sweet spanish-speaking guy I don't really know--peaked around the column between us and waved at me. I guess he remembered where I was sitting even though he couldn't see me, and wanted to acknowledge me. Almost immediately I burst into tears.

I have now spent a lot of the time I should be working doing this exhibitionistic purging ritual instead. I hope that I will not suddenly think of something I left out in the middle of the day and get dragged off course again. Now I have to really cram so I can justify going to see LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL later, before it leaves theaters. I figure if I spend time with the Lord, I gotta go pay a visit to the other guy, too. That is how one comes to understand things.

This is really good; necessarily upsetting, but never perverse (as one might fear). I happen to be reading the Argento memoir Fear, which is sort of breezy and not often surprising, but I found his brief chapter on losing his father almost unbearable. I was nearly sorry I read it. Dario doesn't permit a lot of intimate detail in general, which may reflect his control freak nature and his history of combative relationships, but what's certain is that his parent and producer Salvatore Argento was the one person who was there for him in every part of his life. I sort of have a dad like that, although we didn't make anything together except a life, and at this age I think a lot about losing him. I don't know what I think about it exactly, but it is on my mind. I guess I also think about the impending loss of certain artists.

There is something touching about the casting of Dario Argento, who may as well be a kind of artistic father to Gaspar Noe. He is very good in any case. It's hard not to think of this as some sort of response to Michael Haneke's AMOUR, though that film is a decade older and VORTEX exists for its own reasons. It's very useful, culturally, to have filmmakers who grapple effectively with end of life issues. It seems easier to talk about the tumult of life in progress.

And with that all said, please enjoy THE DEATH OF CRONENBERG, a moving collaboration between Caitlin Cronenberg and her famous father. Looks like her first feature HUMANE will be out for my birthday, can't wait.

[simultaneously-sick-and-calm]

So this prompt list really stuck with me, and I decided to pull some ficlets from it to get back in the swing of things.

I have 8 randomly selected pairings of character and numbered prompt, thanks to the help of a friend blind choosing for me 😂

I'll be yeeting these into the void as I finish each one and then I'll make a master list afterwards. They will be tagged with [#prompt run] in the meantime. These are unedited and unbeta'd - we die like men I guess lol

By interacting with this content you acknowledge that you are 18+. Minors DNI.

Aizawa Shouta - #4 “I swear i’ll do things differently this next time.” - angst - approx 1k.

You knew his injuries were more severe than he would let on, simply from the way that he held himself during your shared patrol debrief. What should have been a quiet night had turned into a dangerous take down of one of the low-life criminals who’d been skulking too close to UA’s outermost border. He looked just a little too rigid, speaking only when prompted by the Commision rep who sat at the head of the hastily arranged ‘conference’ table which now took up the back half of the teacher’s lounge. Any other onlooker would think nothing of the large hand spread carefully over his ribcage, or the way that he hovered behind the chair instead of taking a seat. But you knew better.

Shouta always shrugged off the healing heroes and EMTs unless he had no other choice. If he could walk away from the scene, he did. Even when–much like today–he should have allowed someone to at least check him over. You had seen his right side had taken a few too many direct hits during the battle. A risk that he ~~and you begrudgingly~~ accepted, since his quirk required a direct line of sight.

The last three years as his patrol partner gave you more insight into the man than most other people had been granted, more even than you bargained for to begin with. His silence spoke loudly, but by the end of the first year, the language of his body was even louder. Whole patrols often passed without a word spoken between you, and it felt natural.

From the very beginning, moving with and around one another in a way that allowed your quirks to work together effectively, happened without so much as a forethought. Being with him was easy. And recently, your thoughts about the ease of being near him were beginning to bleed into other parts of your imagination.

You had to get away, while you still had a little of your resolve left to spare.

But those feelings had been easy enough to bury, until now.

You couldn’t afford to get caught up emotionally with a partner. Especially not with Aizawa, and especially not now, with the League of Villains sniffing around at his first-year students. Since the battle at Camino, he’d been getting progressively more reckless, and you didn’t like it.

You knew where he'd be, and you found him just as you knew you would. Rounding the corner into the large locker rooms, you caught a glimpse the black and purple blooms decorating his ribs just as his shirt fell into place over the expanse of his back.

"So are you just determined to make a martyr of yourself before the end of the year, or are you going to let someone look at those clearly broken ribs?"

The way he went rigid made clear the fact that you'd managed to startle him, yet another thing that grated at your patience. If he hadn't heard you approach in the quiet school, how could he possibly ward off a villain in the field while in this state?

How could he possibly keep himself safe if he kept going like this?

"I'm fine." His words came back sharper than he usually spoke. Threatening to cut the fine threads of his tolerance that remained in place.

"You're not fine, Shouta. I mean fuck, with the way those bruises look, you could be on the cusp of an internal bleed! Why won't you just let them heal you?"

"Because that will take me out of the patrol rotation, and we can't afford to not have my quirk available during an attack on the grounds."

"What we can't afford, is for you to be killed!" You practically scoff in your frustration, trying to keep the angry tears from escaping. "If you won't let me have your back out there instead of running off headfirst at every one of these low-life thugs that skulk around in the woods, then I can't–"

He spun on you as quickly as his injuries allowed. Dark eyes glazed over with something even darker, a scowl more menacing than anything he'd turned in your direction before. Your hero name sounded wrong, foreign In the way he nearly barked it out to cut you off. "Can't what? Can't trust me?"

He pressed closer, his nose nearly bumping yours as his steely resolve met your angry tears head on. "You know that nothing and no one will keep me from trying to protect my students."

"That's not what I'm asking from you, Eraser. I care about those kids just as much as you do, and you know it. Your hurt, and you're angry, and you're not fucking listening to me!"

He softened suddenly then, as if he finally realized the way he'd been crowding you so aggressively. He shifted back slightly, granting the both of you a moment to breathe. Then..."I'm sorry, I shouldn't have–" he rushed, reaching out to you.

"I just can't let myself do this." You choked the words out, your resolve buckling under the weight of the hand that came to rest on your shoulder, sliding down to catch your wrist when you finally turned away. "I'm sorry, Shouta, I can't. I, I'm putting in for a transfer."

"What? No, I'm sorry– you know I wouldn't hurt you." he said matter-of-fact, gently squeezing the hand that remained firmly in his grasp. "If I don't know what you mean, we can't get past this."

"I can't do my job if I'm constantly distracted by you. Worried about whether or not you're safe."

"Please, just hold on a second and let's figure this out. I can't afford to lose you, you're the best partner I've ever had. Just tell me what's going on, and I swear I'll do things differently next time."

You met his eyes again and found them no longer angry, but still intense. Relentless.

Finally pulling your arm away from his grasp, you began to step away "No, I can't. It's too dangerous."

Those hero's eyes that saw everything, and usually understood even more than that, looked helpless.

Like he was already lost.

Like he was almost afraid to ask.

But he asked anyway.

"I'm too dangerous?"

"No. Not you, Eraser." With that you turned away fully and took one step, and then another away from him.

"What then?"

You stopped then, and hesitated. You knew that if you turned around, you wouldn't have the strength to leave him alone. So when you finally answered him, you didn't look back.

"Falling in love with you."

You left him standing there, shocked, alone, and unable to tell if the echo of your words came from the concrete surrounding him, or simply within his own mind.

[impaladolan]

Control Freak - Grayson Dolan

summary: after Choff production lines CEO (finally) retires, a new boss makes his way into Y/N’s world..

warnings: sexual references/undertones

a/n: another Grayson series, i can’t help myself :)) enjoy!! also, ily <3

Ugh, he was in one of his moods again.

The office cubicles were hastily bustling with nervousness and terror. At any given moment, the infuriated man, so-called boss, will be bursting through the double doors with a dark red tint across his cheeks and maybe even smoke out of his ears, if you're lucky.

Mr. Kidman has never been good with the whole "patience is a virtue" thing, he's a ticking time bomb at all hours of the day. Nothing ever satisfies him, nor remotely excites him, he just finds something to yell and scream about at some poor unfortunate soul and then continues his merry day. But today, he was furious. He had no empathy for anyone, even his favorite two little secretaries that wear push-up bras like a side-job. Apparently someone had brought him the wrong breakfast order and everything just went downhill from there.

Unlike all the others, you seemed calm and composed amongst all this mayhem, but only because you, and maybe two others, knew that 'Old Angry Kidman' was finally retiring. Yep, freedom at last. Well, unless the new guy, or girl, has terrible anger issues.

So you just sat at your clean and pristine desk, typing another draft and adding it to the plentiful piles saved on your work computer, while soundlessly chewing on a mint piece of gum that substituted for the absence of a tooth brushing the morning of. But your quick finger movements were hushed once Mr. Kidman, as predicted, flew straight through the doors with his signature fiery red face and sweat droplets dotting his thinning hairline. "Every body fucking up! I've fucking had it with all of you." He demands, majority of the room raising from their seats with caution. With his teeth tightly gritted and his lips in a fine line, he swirls his index finger in the air, motioning to all of his terrified workers.

"If it were my fuckin' decision, I'd have each and everyone of you pieces of shits fired and on the streets in point ZERO-TWO seconds. You all are fucking lucky that this is my last day here, son's of bitches." A man of few nice words, that he is. The nicest thing you've ever heard him say was thank you, and that was two years ago. His vulgar and aggressive attitude truly brings the worth of working this job down. If it weren't for the good pay and lack of any other remotely feasible company jobs, you would've quit a long time ago.

But alas, you still endure the inevitable fiery reign of his obstructive wrath on the daily.

-

Dolan is his name.

The new boss, that is. That's the only information you and the rest of the staff knew, besides that he's a male. He hasn't shown up for work yet, or even formally introduced himself. Hell, you don't even know what he looks like. But you were certainly nervous for his arrival.

What if he's just like Kidman, or worse?

It most certainly made you nervous to think that this new guy could ever be worse than Kidman. You were hoping and praying that the he'd at least value his workers and employees.

Everyone, on your office floor, was anticipating the days and hours of his big arrival. No one was certain of when he was going to show up, or if. But nonetheless you were one of the most nervous ones. You held the highest title among your coworkers, except CEO of course, but you were pretty up there when it came to business standards. Everyone seemed to like you as well, your kind nature and natural non-brutal attitude sure did make up for other people's. Of course, you didn't really have an office of your own, because you enjoyed the time spent with the people around you. You truly loved the relationship and humbleness you gained from it. At least you weren't a snotty bitch, right?

There were plenty of little rumors around the workspace that you'd become the new (and improved) owner of this whole entire manufacturing company. Specifically a well known fashion line, Choff. The floor that you, and many of the other leading workers, were on was basically the information database. But from time to time, you'd find yourself strolling through the other, more clothing/model filled areas. Just to see how things were flowing.

Which is actually what you're doing in this moment; running your fingers along the racks filled with hangers that held all the fitted clothing items. It seemed like fun to be down here, measuring and sewing the different outfits to the men and women, but it also seemed stressful. Everyone's always in a rush, with their exploding New York accents and their flailing around all over the place. It's pretty amusing to watch from afar, but you'd be scared to get in anyone's way. They'd probably just run you over and continue their day unaffected.

With that thought in mind, you abruptly come to a stop when you run into the muscular backside of someone, startling you from your stare on the tiled flooring. You uttered a few apologies, taking a step back and straightening your pencil skirt from its newfound wrinkles.

"Lost, darling?" Your eyes trail the floor before you until they're stuck on a pair of shiny dress shoes, attached to a pair of long legs and a broad chest. Your eyes finally landed on the remarkably handsome face, of someone you didn't quite recognize. It wasn't uncommon to stumble across unknown employees, but could it be him?

"Frankly, no." You shortly answer, studying his jaw-dropping features. He was indubitably perfect, without a doubt. With a nicely trimmed beard decorating his beautifully shaped jawline, and big hazel eyes that stared right back at your own, he seemed unearthly. Like he was God's favorite angel sent down from heaven, just to show you a glimpse of what it'd really be like inside the pearly gates. "Are, um, you?" You weren't exactly nervous, just mystified. His recent smile grew into what seemed to be a smirk, while his right side's dimple grew more prominent.

"I'd like to say that I'm not, but I sadly am." He shrugs with a chuckle, sending a wave of unbeknownst pleasure through your ears and fluttering down your spine, until the ends of your toes were satisfied with his deep and raspy voice. "Could you maybe show me around this gigantic place? I've been in need of assistance for the last hour or so." He questions you, dropping his shoulders back and letting his eyes roam your stature before drifting to the interior of the long hallway the two of you are currently standing around in. "I very well could, but I have a dreadful meeting to attend to within the next five to ten minutes." Actually, the meeting was in fifteen minutes. You just simply wanted to see the man's reaction, which wasn't what you though it'd be;

"Perfect, I'll be in attendance for that as well. If you'd so kindly lead the way, I would most appreciate it." He smoothly negotiated, stuffing his right hand, which was tightly wrapped with an expensive looking watch, into his pocket with another grin. He seemed very eloquent with his words and the way he addressed things, it has to be him?

"Do you mind me asking of your name?" You began as you started your trek back to where you came from, your heels quietly clicking from beneath you as you lead the way, him following close behind. "Dolan, Grayson Dolan." He quickly answered. Indeed you were right in thinking he was the new (and maybe improved) CEO of all Choff productions. "New head guy?"

He only nods, to yet another one of your endless questions. "And what's your name, darling?" He asks as the two of you stop at an elevator, his quick hand beating yours to clicking the slightly worn down button. "Y/N Y/L/N, direct head management under you." You relay before boarding onto the empty elevator, the doors closing moments after the two of you were stood side by side. You fidget with the ends of your skirt, staying as calm as possible under his stare that you couldn't help but shrivel under.

"Under me, huh?" You almost gulped at the sound of his double meaninged phrase. Smart guy, hm? Your heart started beating a bit faster the more you thought of his little statement. Your mind became a whirlwind of visuals and fantasies before you could even stop it. Just those two little words had made you all sorts of a mess, and he hasn't even done much of anything. "Don't get too worked up darling, we have a meeting to attend." He chuckles as he steps off the elevator that had opened only seconds ago. You just scoff, your cheeks reddening as you stride right past him, maneuvering through the expanse of people that had just left the staff room, in order for the upcoming meeting to advance.

The moment you were sat in the room and time had passed to where everyone had finally shown up, you felt that lingering feeling of eyes on you. A pair of hazel eyes to be exact, who was sat far from you at the end of the long table. For meeting him not too long ago, he sure did seem comfortable around everyone. It was entirely too soon for you to be liking him already, better yet imagining different scenarios with him as someone boringly rambled. You decided that you'd forget him for the time being and focus on your job, as much as possible.

Though it would be granted as difficult as time moved on..

"That's the conclusion of this meeting. I thank everyone for being here, and I especially appreciate your appearance, Mr. Dolan. I'm happy to say that things around here will continue a lot smoother than it did in the past. And I know most others would agree." Burt Wallace, one of the coordinators, concluded after standing from his seat to dismiss everyone with a nod. While everyone dillydallied in conversations with one another, you in the other hand, hustled straight out of that room and towards the same elevator you had used earlier. The moment you clicked the button, the doors opened wide and you hopped in, tucking yourself in the corner while you gained your breath. You smile to yourself at the successful 'escape' from any questions or perhaps a witty comment from a certain CEO on the loose.

You sigh happily to yourself, watching the doors close again until a hand is stuck between them, pushing them straight back to reveal the man you were somewhat avoiding. "Care if I join you again?" He asked, but he still entered otherwise, clicking one of the many buttons to make the door close. "Did I have a choice?" You almost scoff, feeling his shoulder brush against your own as he stood in the same spot he had previously stood in. "Nah, not really, but I like to seem like a little bit of a gentleman." He answers, the roll of your eyes substituting for the internal scoff that you hadn't let out. The two of you rode in silence for what seemed to be eternity, only the faint sounds of your breaths being heard. As soon as the elevator door clanged and opened, you made a beeline out of there and hustled toward your organized workspace like there was a snake chasing you.

"What's the rush?" Ana Rita, one of the only tolerable women in this entire building, asked as you ducked under your desk. Even though you hadn't looked back to check, you had a feeling he'd follow you, or worse, ask you to meet him in his office. You weren't exactly sure why you were hiding from him, he seemed pretty nice. But he truly intimidated you. Not in a competitive way, more so a physical way. "And why the fuck are you down there?" The redhead crinkled her brows as she looked down her long nose at you. "Just, shhhh!" You bellow quietly, covering your pursed lips with your index finger.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Hot man, six o'clock! Get your ass out of there!" She violently whispered at you, frantically tidying herself for the "hot man," presumably Mr. Dolan as you had predicted, approached your desks. You tightly hug your knees from under your desk, praying to god that he wouldn't somehow see you. "After noon, sir, may I help you?" You cringe at the seductive tone lined in her voice, something that Mr. Dolan unfortunately probably gets a lot of. "I'm looking for Ms. Y/L/N, I have some issues to discuss with her." Yet again, his girthy voice made you sigh with comfort. It's extremely calming to listen to.

"She's actually right here—" Ana, the little asshole she is in this moment, points straight at you as you plead with your eyes and shake your head vigorously. You suddenly see his handsome head peer over at you, his brows scrunched with confusion. "Uhm, cords were messed up, gotta fix them." You awkwardly chuckle, patting the outlet box stuffed with all your monitor's cords. You bring yourself out from below your desk as the two stared at you, dusting your front side and settling down in your office chair with a nervous smile.

"I'd like to have a word with you, in my office."

(masterlist)

[angelsswirl]

Petrichor

Four

Notes: The story's not over yet....

Content Warning⚠️: mild smut

...

"You loved what you loved because you loved it."

It's been weeks. Weeks of you falling deeper and deeper into this mess you somehow forced yourself into.

Weeks of getting to know Rosé. Weeks of getting to know Jisoo. Weeks of getting to know Lia, for that matter.

Weeks of being sucked into a cycle of never-ending uncertainty.

And sure you knew plenty about them at this point. The little stuff, the medium stuff, but maybe not the big stuff.

If someone had asked you weeks ago if you had wanted to be in a serious relationship, mated to an alpha for the foreseeable future, you would have told them 'No. Absolutely not. I'm not ready.' But now, that's changed. And you're not exactly sure why.

In addition to suddenly wanting to be someone's omega, your heats had magically increased, in frequency and intensity. They were somehow bulldozing their way through your normal dosage of suppressants.

It was why you currently found yourself in the waiting room of your doctor's office.

Though, as you waited to be called back by the nurse, that was not the pertinent thought weighing down on you. Instead, it was 'Did Jisoo or Rosé want a serious relationship with you as well? Did they want you to be their mate?'

The million-dollar question.

You had no real way of knowing. It definitely seemed like it on both their parts, but outright asking was out of the question.

Jisoo had a daughter, a daughter who will inevitably one day realize that you look nothing like her. She'll long for the care of her biological mother, and then Jisoo will leave you so their family is complete.

A logical conclusion.

Rosé has an ex, an ex that, granted, you're not supposed to know about (Yeri is very talkative when drunk), but an ex nonetheless. It's only fair that Rosé realizes that she has unfinished business with said ex while you're pregnant with her pups, and leaves you for the ex.

Another logical conclusion.

And where does all of that leave you?

Alone.

The nurse calling your name lightly soothed you out of your musing, saving you from answering your own question with even more ugly scenarios.

"Y/N L/N? You can go on back." The nurse, an omega herself, smiled reassuringly as she gestured for you to follow her.

She lead you to an examination room after weighing you in the hallway. After a few preliminary questions that you had to answer every time you visited, the nurse left you to wait.

Seven minutes later there's a knock on the door and a creaking of the hinges.

Dr. Ramona Davis, another omega woman, smiled softly as she flipped through your mildly thin file.

Despite you being a patient at this particular practice since you started having heats, you had never really had any serious isssues.

It wasn't uncommon for an Omega Specialist to be an alpha, but they probably saw way less patients. It made more sense for an omega to be seeing a doctor who would understand what they were going through on a medical and a personal level.

Dr. Davis placed the file on the counter in the room before squirting some hand sanitizer on, rubbing it in, then shaking your hand.

"Hello Y/N, what brings you in today? I haven't had to see you in a year." The concern on the woman's fair features was genuine. You took great appreciation in that. You hated Doctor's offices and the almost motherly nature of the omega doctor assuaged your anxiety greatly.

"Um, yeah. Recently, my heats have been coming way more frequently than normal and they're very intense. My suppressants are barely putting a dent in them."

"Oh, that is concerning. You rarely come to me for heat problems." The doctor's eyebrows furrowed.

Dr. Davis did a quick check of your breathing, then ears and nose.

The omega doctor sat back on her rolling stool with a sigh, "Are your heat symptoms normal? Anything really out of the ordinary?"

A blush settled over your cheeks. You thought for a second, other than being more intense you didn't think that your symptoms have been out of the ordinary really, "I don't think so. The normal overheating, bones aching so bad I can't move, loss of appetite, and really bad night terrors, but I think that has more to do with the fact that this is my first year living by myself in the center of New York City. Yeah, all of that but dialed up by, like, 10." You mused, you shrugged your shoulders in the end as if to say 'Y'know, the usual.'

Ramona stared at you blankly for a solid three minutes before speaking again, "Y/N. None of that is normal. I have half a mind to call your mom and tell her what you just told me. The only thing stopping me is doctor-patient confidentiality."

You pouted, your mother didn't need to know any of this. She was dealing with her own things. It's the very reason you hadn't mentioned this to either of your parents. Also, you hadn't really known that anything was wrong. You really just came here to get a higher dosage of suppressants.

Dr. Davis rubbed a hand down her face, "How long have your heats been like this?"

"Since I started having them, but they didn't get really bad until like six weeks ago give or take."

Ramona nodded, "You said this was the first time you're living fully by yourself. How long has it been since you lived with an alpha?"

"Uh, not since being home with my dad. I'm 24 and I moved out at 18, so, six years ago." You frowned. You desperately needed to find out where the professional was going with this. 

Ramona thought for a second. She had a hunch, of what part of the problem was. She can't really do anything about the "normal" heat symptoms but she does have a cure that should dial back the frequency and intensity, she just had a sneaking suspicion that you would absolutely hate it. Because if you didn't hate the idea, then the problem would be fixed already.

But first, a couple more questions, "When was the last time you were knotted?"

"Like three years ago?"

Dr. Davis surmises that you must have impeccable self-control and she's not sure if that's a good thing or not.

"Okay, last question before I let you in on my thought process. Have you been in close proximity to any unmated alphas lately? Like not just standing behind one in a line or sitting next to one in class, I mean actually spending time with any."

"Yeah...two." You were starting to pick up the pieces, and no, you did not like where this is going.

"Ah, the final piece of the puzzle," Ramona wrote some notes down on your file, "Alright. So here's what I think is going on, you haven't been in the presence of an alpha for at least three years.  And all of a sudden you're surrounded by two. Probably encountering many more pheromones than you had in the past three years combined.  It doesn't help that those alphas are readily available and your omega is very aware of this. Your heats are out of wack because, one, it sounds like you've just been chugging through them like nothing is wrong, not taking a knot or anything even remotely useful, and two, because of these new alphas. It's almost like your teasing your omega and she's fighting back. Triggering random and intense heats to trick you into mating with one of them."

You stared back at her absolutely horrified, "I'm trying to kill myself?"

"That's not what I said."

"That's what it sounded like. Anyway, how do I get it to stop? I'm sure you know this isn't very fun."

"I can imagine. There's really one way that can help..."

"Stop stalling, Doc."

"You're going to have to take one of their knots. I know, I know. Stop looking at me like that. It's the only way. Once you do that, your omega will calm down and you can go back to your life. Look, it doesn't even have to be one of theirs. You're going to do that and I'm going to write you a prescription for some muscle relaxers but your suppressants are staying the same."

You looked like you wanted to puke at the thought of doing that with anyone else other than Jisoo or Rosé.

"Okay, it has to be one of theirs."

You still looked a bit apprehensive. 

Ramona sighed, it looked like she was going to have to pretend to be her wife today. Her wife was a psychologist who worked down the hall.

"What's got you so hesitant, Y/N?"

You sighed and your shoulders slumped, "I don't want to have to choose between them. I like them both. A lot."

"Who said you have to choose? You might eventually when you're ready to mate, but for now, you don't have to worry about that."

"What if I am ready to mate?" You mumbled.

"Then yeah, you might have a problem on your hands."

You threw your hands up in the air exasperated, "I don't even know if they would even want to have sex with me."

Ramona rolled her eyes at that, "Okay, here's what you're going to do. I'm going to sit here, and you're going call both of them and ask." 

You began to protest, "Ah. No. You're going to do it. I can tell you've been putting this off and it's starting to nag at you. You're a 24-year-old unmated omega. There is absolutely no reason you should be doubting your sex appeal."

"Fine," You grumbled. Your hands shook as you picked up your phone and tapped on your recents. They were both coincidently the last people you had talked to. Rosé being the latest, as you were confirming plans for later that day.

Rosé answered on the second ring, "Hey, Babe. What's up?"

You blushed at the pet name, you sighed before deciding to just rip it off like a bandaid, "Do you want to have sex with me?"

There's a clattering and then a curse on the other end. A second later Rosé started speaking again, "I'm sorry, I dropped my phone. Yes. The answer is yes." You hung up without another word. A heavy blush encompassing your harsh scowl at Ramona.

It seemed like Jisoo answered the phone before you even pressed the call button, "Kim Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em. How may I help you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that's not funny?"

"...Until I believe you."

"Anyway. Do you want to have sex with me?"

It sounded like Jisoo started to hyperventilate.

"I very do a lot."

"What?"

"Yes. The answer is yes."

You hung up and glared at the doctor, "Happy?"

"Are you?" 

You had never felt a boost of confidence such as the verbal reassurance of alphas being sexually attracted to you, but Ramona didn't need to know that.

"So, now you know they want to. The next step is to do it." Dr. Davis patted you on the shoulder reassuringly. 

You nodded resolutely. The next step is to do it. 

Dr. Davis handed you the prescription for the muscle relaxers and ushered you out the door.

~•~

You arrived at Rosé's penthouse with a renewed sense of determination.

You were let into the fancy apartment building and then into the penthouse fairly easily. You assumed Rosé had prepared whoever needed to be prepared for your arrival.

Rosé, over lunch one day, had finally let slip her actual job description. You had only shrugged more or less. You weren't stupid. You don't wear custom Armani suits and pay for your Starbucks with a black credit card without being the CEO of something.

Rosé seemed forever grateful you hadn't made a big deal about it.

As soon as you laid eyes on Rosé your core clenched. The alpha was only wearing a grey t-shirt and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, and yet for some reason, you still got weak in the knees. 

Rosé greeted you with a peck on the cheek and a happy smile, "How was your day?"

You blinked, "Interesting. How was yours?"

"Boring at first. It's my first day off in months and I didn't know what to do with myself. Then I got an interesting phone call from an interesting person asking an interesting question. So I'd say my day was interesting as well."

Rosé led them deeper into the penthouse, which you later will realize is only the first floor.

"Yeah, sorry if I caught you off guard with that?" You looked down and blushed. A go to move of yours.

Rosé shrugged, "It's fine. I admired the forwardness...So, I was originally going to cook for you, but then at the very last second, I remembered I can't cook. But I can drink wine. And I'm very good at buying it too, so I figured we could have an impromptu wine tasting." Rosé gestured into her kitchen where a bunch of glasses filled with different pigments of wine had been set up.

"You just want to see me drunk." You tapped Rosé playfully on the arm.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any ulterior motives."

You made it three glasses in before you practically jumped Rosé. In your defense, your mini-heat was still simmering under the surface.

Your lips smashed together in a desperate ruse for you to get closer to Rosé. Rosé's hands on your hips and your hands in her hair. You released your grip on the taller woman's hair, you reached down to your shirt. Gripping at the hem and yanking it overhead.

Rosé blinked slowly, "Are you sure?" She asked, even as your hands traveled to the belt buckle on her jeans. 

You captured Rosé's lips again in a quick, searing kiss, "What about any of this says unsure to you?"

That's all Rosé needs to continue.

It's not really evident how you two got into Rosé's room and subsequently her bed. Both of you had sort of partially blacked out.

Save for her underwear, Rosé was completely naked as she nipped at your neck. You mewled and whined, your hips rolling up into Rosé's thigh.

"You're so wet." Rosé practically growled into your ear. She can easily tell by the amount collecting on her thigh every time you bucked your hips.

"Alpha, need you inside of me."

Rosé is all too happy to oblige. She kicked off her boxers quickly, then leaned over toward her bedside table. She rummaged around in the drawer without looking. You were completely naked under her, her eyes were bit preoccupied.

It took about 20 more seconds for the alpha to locate what she had been looking for. 

"Safety first," Rosé exclaimed as she held up the condom. You rolled your eyes, a bit too far gone to care about safety at the moment. This all seemed like a waste of precious time to you.

It felt like ages before Rosé was finally inside of you. You couldn't help but clench just about as soon as she had entered.

The relief you felt was almost instantaneous. That feeling of finally being filled almost pushed you over the edge right then and there.

Rosé rocked her hips back lightly. Allowing you to adjust.

You did so quickly apparently. Your hips rocking up into Rosé once again.

"Chae, harder."

Rosé grunted and obliged. Her hips slamming into the you harder than before. You were about as tight as Rosé had imagined you would be, and that was serving to make this that much more difficult.

She'd be damned if she didn't even last ten minutes. How embarrassing would that be?

"Fuck." You moaned breathily. You felt like you were floating. The coil in your stomach tightening in time with the curling of your toes.

"You're so gorgeous." Rosé whispered into your shoulder. She nipped at the skin there, trying to abate her need to bite your mating gland.

You're not listening. You can feel Rosé's knot beginning to form, and your main goal is to get it inside of you. So, you relaxed as much as you could and wrapped your legs around Rosé's waist. Pulling her closer.

You both released almost identical moans.

"God, you're trying to kill me." Rosé grunted just as her knot popped into you.

It took just about all her willpower not to latch onto your neck.

Your back arched as you fell over the edge. Your breathy moans becoming a bit more high pitched.

Rosé groaned as she released into the condom.

As you both came down you began to giggle.

Rosé scowled, "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, calm down. I'm laughing because I normally pride my self on having great self control. I demonstrated quite the opposite just then."

"Hey, we all need to let go every once in a while." Rosé shrugged and shifted you to a more comfortable position.

You gasped as you felt the knot tug a bit. You would be tied together for a bit longer.

You sighed happily, then snuggled closer into Rosé.

Within seconds, you're out like a light.

~•~

You woke to your phone vibrating precariously next to your head.

In the night, you and Rosé had since shifted. No longer tied. Your back was pressed into Rosé's front, with her arm slung across your waist.

You answered your phone without looking at caller id.

"Hello?"

"Hey. You weren't sleep were you?" You frowned at the tone of Jisoo's voice. She sounded exhausted and maybe even a little upset.

"No. Why? What's up?"

Jisoo huffed a bit before sighing, "Do you mind coming over here and watching Lia for a bit. She's not feeling well and I need to go pick up some medicine for her. I know it's late-"

"I'll be right over, Jisoo."

"Thanks."

It's surprisingly easy for you to slip out from under Rosé. Tiptoe out of the room, locate your clothes, then head out the apartment. All without waking her.

~•~

You're at Jisoo's in record time. You smoothed out your wrinkled shirt before knocking on the door lightly.

It doesn't occur to you that Jisoo is most definitely going to smell Rosé on you until Jisoo opens the door and looks at you like that.

Part sad, part angry, part prooven right?

Her jaw is clenched and she won't look you in the eyes. Instead she looked right past you into the hallway. You wanted to say something. Apologize maybe. Deal out excuses. You're not sure. Jisoo beat you to it anyway.

"...Thank you. I didn't want to bring her with me at risk of her getting sicker. And everyone else was busy. Or Asleep." Jisoo looked a bit resigned. Like she expected this and it was what it was.

She brushed passed you easily, then hurrried down to her car. She might punch her dashboard out of anger and jealousy, but it's the middle of the night. No one is there to confirm or deny that part.

You took a deep breath. You didn't like that look Jisoo gave you. It made you feel gross, guilty, and quite frankly, sick to your stomach.

You don't have time to wallow, because you can hear Lia whimpering through the baby monitor placed on the coffee table.

You walked into the toddler's room to find Lia balancing over the ledge of crib. Clearly in the middle of an escape.

"Hi, Li. Do you mind if I help you?"

Lia huffed before reaching for you. You scooped the child into your arms easily. Lia cuddled herself into your neck.

"Thank you for letting me help. You give the best hugs."

The toddler lifted her head from your shoulder, "Better than mama?"

You chuckled lightly, "Yes, better hugs than your mom."

Lia laid her head back as you walked back to the livingroom. You sat down on the sofa as you waited for Jisoo to get back.

"Don't feel good." Lia mumbled tiredly into your neck.

"I know you don't. That's why your mom went to go get some medicine for you. You know, I think you hit the mom jackpot with that one."

Lia shrugged and yawned. It's only about three seconds later that the toddler passes out.

You just continued to rub the girl's back.

~•~

Jisoo came back to see Lia passed out on your chest, and you passed out on the couch.

She begrudgingly took a pic of the admittedly adorable sight.

She eventually decided to post the picture to her Instagram. Jealousy only partially driving that decision.

Jisoo pocketed her phone and stood in the door way for a few more seconds. Lia looked very content to stay where she was, so Jisoo let her.

She sighed, "I'm working on it, kid. I just wish I knew what I was up against."

~•~

You woke up without the crick in your neck you thought you would. You soon realized it was because you were in a bed and not on the couch you had vaguely remembered falling asleep on.

You hobbled out of the bed. You peered into Lia's room to find her sleeping soundly in the crib.

You then padded into the living room next. The tv was on but it didn't seem obvious that it was being watched.

"Morning." You jumped clear out of your skin.

You turned around to the voice. Jisoo was standing at the kitchen island, sipping on a cup of coffee. Jisoo looked like she had gotten exactly zero hours of sleep that night. Her face was blank and she was wearing the same thing she had left in.

"Morning... How'd I get into your bed?"

"I carried you there. You looked uncomfortable." Jisoo's face remained blank. Her eyes pointed in the direction of the television.

"Where did you sleep?"

"I didn't."

"Chu."

"Thanks for watching Lia again." Jisoo's jaw clenched and her leg bounced on the linoleum, "I'll see you later."

You wrapped your arms around yourself. You nodded as you headed for the front door.

"Tell Lia I'll see her next week?"

Jisoo only hummed.

You took a shakey breath as you left the apartment. You left the building with arms still wrapped around yourself.

Somehow, this felt more like the walk of shame then leaving Rosé's had.

You pulled out your phone and dialed a familiar number.

"What's up?"

"Can we meet up, I really need to talk."

"Of course. You know where to meet me. Give me ten minutes."

You breathed a watery sigh of relief, "Thank you."

[seyaryminamoto]

What is something Sokka only ever did and does with and for Azula? I'm not talking about his love but an act. The hairdoing question was because I like the first time he does Azulas hair lots It is a particular thing and the imagination him only doing Azulas hair is individual. I did not ask because of jealousy rather of particularity. I can't find anything he only did does for with Azula

... Right. So, in about 200 chapters worth of story, you haven’t seen anything Sokka has exclusively done for Azula? I... do advise you read more closely. But if you don’t want to...

Represents her as her personal fighter, at first because of their deal, after their relationship blooms he does it because he’s 100% devoted to her in every way that counts. To him, their bond is one of a kind and he does his best to grow stronger so he can continue to fight with and for her, so she may be granted all the respect she deserves. He outright rejects being sponsored by anyone but her, and even when they had no choice but to have Zuko sponsoring him (chapter 56), Sokka said it wasn’t the same because he wanted HER. So her role as her sponsor is one of a kind for him, and he absolutely would never have that kind of bond with anyone else.

Protects her with his body whenever they’re falling off places, something Azula has remarked on more than once. He takes the worst of the impact every time, shielding her however he can. To this day, I’m pretty sure he hasn’t done that with anyone else? (chapter 38, chapter 77).

He opened up to her when he was troubled (chapter 50), sharing some of his innermost turmoil and suffering, letting her help him when he usually would rather not burden anyone else with what plagues him. Further proof of how deeply he trusts her, enough to start putting aside his bad habit of bottling up his troubles for her.

Refused an opportunity to go home AND reconnect with the first person he truly felt comfortable with in the FIre Nation (Piandao), choosing to stay by Azula’s side instead and protect her from people who would most likely harm her (chapter 54).

Nearly killed two gladiators whose sponsors were attempting to marry Azula against her will (chapter 70, chapter 169).

Put aside every shred of his dignity and accepted all punishments Azula forced on him, enduring everything because he thought he deserved it for wronging her (the ENTIRE Rough Rhinos arc).

Gave her the better portions of food during their accidental trip through the forest (again, Rough Rhinos arc) AND saves food for her (chapter 124), meaning, prioritizing her needs over his own. We all KNOW how much Sokka loves food, Azula more than anyone, and the implications of him not eating so she could have more were pretty clear regarding how much she means to him, as far as I can tell.

Cooked for her, sometimes to catastrophic results, but he still tried :’D (chapter 131, chapter 151 to a fault).

Writes haiku for her, and it’s SPECIFICALLY STATED that he only manages to complete proper poems whenever he’s writing about her, as everything else he writes he leaves incomplete or adds too many syllables (chapter 38, chapter 104).

Controls his strongest impulses very often when it comes to physical affection throughout Part 1 (namely in Ember Island and Giving In arcs), always privileging her needs above his own. He’s willing to stop before outright penetrative sex in chapter 97, for Azula’s benefit, and only goes for it when she directly asks him to. Her comfort and happiness are the priority, not his own.

Embarrasses himself willingly just to make her laugh (I’m sure there are many possible examples of this, but right now I can’t find them, but I found one instance of it in chapter 130, at least).

Challenged a nobleman (Kuan) for behaving disrespectfully towards Azula, by dismissing her interests and choices, yet Sokka restrained himself when Azula demanded it of him (chapter 36) and accepted the punishment Kuan forced on him without further protest or causing any more trouble for Azula.

Looked after her when she was sick, no matter if she was really mad at him at the time (White Lotus Attack arc).

Cheered her up after the first ball in the Festivals, after listening to her personal plight with Admiral Zhao (chapter 94)

Offered to teach basic swordsmanship to a kid so that the kid’s father would be on good terms with Azula, helping her craft stronger political allies (chapter 133).

Defends Azula constantly before anyone who may try to undermine or insult her (outright punched Zuko for saying thoughtless things about his sister in chapter 64, lashed out at Iroh for talking shit about her in chapter 95, attacked Rhone as soon as he spoke against Azula in 114 and threatened him in 160).

Comforts her often whenever she’s troubled, especially in matters pertaining her parents and the unpleasant strife they’ve caused her, both in the past and in current times (Ember Island arc, The Fire Nation Festivals arc, The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc). He’s also not judgmental, doesn’t tell her what to think, he mainly listens and helps her deal with her conflicted feelings.

Gladly agrees to change their original deal so he can stay with Azula for good instead of returning to his family, as he intended (chapter 107, Whaletail Island arc).

CRAFTED A BETROTHAL NECKLACE FOR HER??? :’) (chapter 131)

MARRIED HER. TWICE (Return to Shu Jing arc). I mean... really. The very logic of marriage says it’s something absolutely special you don’t do with just ANYONE? And they certainly live by that logic, completely. That something so obviously unique to his relationship with her happened so recently and yet you still sent this ask is... weird to me. Very weird.

In a slightly more intimate note: Sokka has never slept through the night with anyone but Azula. He has never woken up with someone beside him other than Azula. She’s literally the only one he’s ever done that with, and the only one he ever wants to do it with. Started in chapter 64, has happened many, many times since.

Endeavors to become a better painter because she inspired him to keep trying. They’ll start making collaborative art together starting in chapter 201 :’) and in 221 they will make a veeeery special artwork that’s basically their masterpiece.

Climbed a volcano to find a flower to give to her as a token of everlasting love? (chapter 125) :’D 

Nearly died at the hands of Jeong Jeong’s schemes all be it to stay loyal to Azula (also chapter 125).

Got her a Fire Lily in the Festivals, something no one else had ever done for her, cultural connotations of it demand I single this out because it’s a big deal in the Fire Nation, he’s never done that for anyone else and never will (chapter 146).

Constantly asks for her lychee wine, her favorite drink, whenever they go places. The fact that Azula’s heart seems to grow twenty sizes every time he goes out of his way to find her perfect drink should be pretty telling...?

Overworked himself to make her dragon’s perfect armor as a birthday gift for her (Azula’s birthday arc), then still managed to win a fight for her sake despite his body was in bad shape.

Told her being without her feels like sleepwalking through life, waiting until she’s around again so he can wake up and feel like himself once more (chapter 86).

Offered his services and support in helping in the fulfillment Azula’s dream of offering women in the Fire Nation bigger opportunities and roles to make a difference in the world, by training the Enforcers in swordsmanship (Whaletail Island arc).

Accompanied Azula throughout her investigation in The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc, offering her all the support he could in that endeavor, day and night if need be, no matter how dangerous things got he was always there with her.

Trusted Azula so much he allowed her to BEND THROUGH HIM :’) I can guarantee that there’s no way anyone else can do that with Sokka other than Azula.

Sneaks out of his house, or his cabin, to spend nights with her whenever they can afford to, seen all throughout Part 2.

Changed his entire worldview to understand hers, just as she changed hers to understand his. Developed genuine empathy with someone who should have been his enemy, and saw through her to understand her humanity, something NO ONE BUT HIM had done before, and something he’s certainly not willing to do for many people he started out hating, or that he hated at any point in time (literally seen all through the story).

So... 33 items not enough yet, I wonder? Then stick around. The last arcs of Part 2 pack more than a few punches and many unique Sokkla interactions and situations that MIGHT just serve for you to finally see that their bond is actually one of a kind? Despite I’m pretty sure the story that already has been published proves it completely already... but I guess you may have gone too long witthout reading it in full detail? Eh, whatever the reason may be, you can see for yourself there’s a ton of unique things Sokka and Azula have only done with each other.

[asherlockstudy]

I got into gmm fandom this year and I love these 2 old men extremely, and I recently read your discussions about Link's psyche and the ear biscuits commentary and I totally relate to you. I couldn't find anything that you wrote about the competition eb#255. I'm very interested in your thoughts on this particular episode since your ideas on their psychology really fascinates me. Will you please share?

First of all, thank you for your kind words!

The truth is I certainly have an opinion on the competition episode but I was hesitant to post anything about it because I wasn’t sure whether that would push any boundaries. Since you asked, I am going to tell you, but I would like to stress to any MB who will read this that this theory / analysis works through a Rhink perspective or at least the perspective of an intense friendship, which I think their friendship is anyway, so you need to be in that mindset from the beginning. This is obviously my personal take on their conversation; the way the puzzle pieces fit inside my mind if you will. It can be as far from the truth as Rhink itself in general. Technically it can be read out of the Rhink lens but IMO it makes more sense this way, so I’m gonna tag this only as #rhink. 

Now let’s actually go to the topic in question. Rhett and Link are both competitive but in different ways and for different reasons and to different targets.

Rhett is naturally competitive. Or maybe not naturally per se, as I think this competitiveness was planted inside him by his father. His father expected him to be good at everything, an expectation that Rhett then internalized and simply never escaped from. His competitiveness might be maximized by feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness. If Rhett cares so much what people think of him, it’s only natural that he wants to ensure that people will think highly of him and that requires him to be good, look good and always perform well. The more Rhett loves and is loved by a person, he’s sooomewhat more relaxed in revealing his weaknesses. Rhett is always competitive but he’s less competitive with his close friends and family than with strangers. Rhett would take 100 defeats from Link than one from any other youtuber. And like he said, Rhett doesn’t mind losing to his sons because he wants them to do well and because, duh, they are McLaughlins and they are proof success still runs in HIS family.

Link is insecure too but handled it for the most part of his life in a completely different way. I have the impression that until 5-6 years ago Link had resigned and lived defeated inside his insecurity. His own insecurity stems from lack of self-worth, which probably stems from feelings of abandonness in his childhood. Let alone that if there’s any truth to the queer!Link theory, he also felt socially and religiously alienated from everyone around him, most importantly Rhett, and all this suffered in silence. This is why his insecurity is associated mostly with the people close to him and not strangers. Link doesn’t care much if random people think poorly of him which is why he’s not self-conscious and can talk to people. But Link is hurt a lot if a person he loves a lot doubts him or mocks him or simply doesn’t  regard him very highly. He has a primal fear of getting taken in, abandoned or betrayed. He’s grown to become a suspicious person, often entertaining the worse case scenario, fearing that a person he loves could actually not love or respect him back as sincerely. As an example, from everything they’ve said I have the impression Link adored Rhett when they were children. He looked up to him and Rhett was some sort of role model for him. Link didn’t have many other friends and certainly not others like Rhett and the rest of his time he spent mostly alone in his home. Meanwhile, Rhett had more variety in his life: he had other friends, including Ben whom he admired so much, hobbies and an obsession with girls. So it’s safe to assume that Link was more “there” for Rhett than Rhett was “there” for him, without that meaning IN ANY WAY that Rhett didn’t love him as much. But Link couldn’t know that - and when Rhett was busying himself with something else, his feelings of abandonness and lack of self-worth intensified.

I think Link never escaped from these feelings.There were some GMM episodes where Link has implied that he often feels Rhett takes him for granted and shouldn’t. In short, Link loathes that he feels uncertain in his friendship with Rhett whereas Rhett feels perfectly sure in it. This, especially at a point 4-5 years ago, when Link started changing stylistically and in the way he carried himself (we can only guess why), it was also the time Link’s efforts to fight that feeling of defeat especially around Rhett reached their peak.

I trust Rhett’s input in this. I don’t doubt Rhett senses competitiveness coming from Link’s side. What Rhett might not understand is that Link is not globally competitive but mostly towards certain people, including him, first and foremost.  Things such as vanity, overt enthusiasm when winning, “OOOOH HA-HA-HA-HA” when Rhett got insulted, “I prefer time with my wife”, “I can’t be always there for you”, “I have other friends beside you Rhett” are some random examples of this overcompensation that is the unconventional competitiveness Link feels against Rhett. “Against” is a strong word though because I believe Link doesn’t do any of this to bring Rhett down but rather to go up and be on the same level as him. NOTE: I don’t believe Link is in any way lower, I believe Link fears this is the case. Link dreams of an entirely equal and balanced relationship between them, not because it isn’t so, but because he has invested so much in Rhett that he constantly fears everything he can lose. He wants Rhett to look up to him, to admire him so that he can keep him, and moreover keep him eternally interested and intrigued. In short, he wants Rhett to feel the way he feels about him and he thinks this cannot be as long as Rhett takes him for granted or doesn’t take his skills, mind, virtues and looks seriously. Furthermore, his tendencies to take most of the control in their job and be a perfectionist could also be connected to all that and increase his anxiety associated with the stability of their job.

The problem is that Rhett perhaps doesn’t understand the motive behind Link’s behaviour and interprets it as plain old competitiveness. He’s however, as I felt in the podcast, troubled by it being targeted to him. A remark like “I have other good friends too” is something that makes Link feel more independent from Rhett but Rhett could occasionally get hurt and think “Okay but why does he have to say this to me?”.

This unavoidably is channeled in their business too. A duo of internet celebrities? That’s like the recipe of guaranteed failure! Even non-competitive people have destroyed their businesses and friendships this way. What Rhett and Link have managed so far is world record. Part of their success is how open they are to each other about how they feel. In fact, it was very healthy of Rhett to confess openly that he has some level of “mild envy” about Link doing well in various aspects of the show. This means that Rhett sat down when he experienced these feelings, had a talk with himself and reached the conclusion that he was very happy Link was doing well. He just felt he had to push himself to be as good - not better -  so that he would not feel bad about himself contributing in this show, in this business. And in short, Rhett feels he need to compete with Link in being as likable to the viewers. I consider this totally understandable.

Link was reluctant to speak openly throughout the whole episode. And that was because his answer was not that easy. From everything he said, I was positively surprised that it seemed Link has it all laid out very clearly in his mind - how he acts and why. He just wasn’t willing to explain, particularly in public. This becomes clear towards the end of the podcast - when Rhett is essentially about to lose his mind because Link denies everything, Link starts to say something only to stop and decide he shouldn’t do it eventually. More importantly, Link adds in the end that Rhett made the big mistake to base his understanding of Link’s competitiveness in minor conventional things such as games and job performance. Link said that Rhett was stripping their relationship off of way too many parameters that he wasn’t taking into consideration to reach a valid conclusion. So indeed Link’s competitiveness is a very personal topic with deep roots and IS connected mostly (if not exclusively) to his relationship with Rhett. Link doesn’t want to be better than Rhett either - he wants to be as good as Rhett and be liked by the viewers. Not for the viewers’ sake but in order to rub it in Rhett’s face later. Again, he doesn’t want to hurt Rhett - this is likely a desire for guaranteed continuous attention from Rhett, whatever it takes.

Furthermore, Link always makes sure to draw attention from the audience as much as Rhett, if not more, (which could be fundamentally what Rhett interprets as competitiveness and doesn’t know how to regulate) which is Link’s way to ensure he’s not taken for Rhett’s sidekick (in his own words) by either the viewers or Rhett himself, because inside Link’s full of concerns mind this hits a little too close to home.

Now, if there’s any truth to Rhink, intensify this by 10x.

[curiousconch]

Rose-colored Glass 

Chapter 11 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: As winter began its rein in Boston, Heather finds a way to cope with her trauma, discovering the truth while remembering her past. 

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song)

Words: 1.8k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / emotional trauma, death

Author's Notes: This week has been hard for me, and writing this chapter was unimaginably difficult because of it. Thankfully, like Heather, I found a way to cope, and people to help me get through with it. So instead of moping around, I finished this, inspired by the hauntingly beautiful classic song La Vie En Rose (I listened to this particular version on repeat). So, this is for you Nina, rest well in heaven. 

Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song. I also do not claim ownership over the lyrics of La Vie en Rose embedded in this chapter.

Heather's discharge went smoothly, contrary to the time she spent in recovery. Her friends needed to stay behind to complete their shifts, and although Kyra offered to take her home, she refused. She needed to do something first. Heather did agree to let her bring her things back to the apartment, with one exception.

 Her slimmed fingers tightly gripped on the straps of the small bag she was carrying. The sunglasses she brought along tucked on the collar of her salmon sweater, not needing it anymore due to the cluster of clouds that blocked out the sun. Although it was almost noon, the chilly weather provided some semblance of shade as the heels of her boots thumped softly against the soft white snow-covered ground. 

Her gray coat was sprinkled small flakes of snow, as she navigated herself easily amongst the unmarked path, that if a spectator observed, they would readily know that she visited this place often. 

Heather's steps halted as she neared a willow tree, standing in front of a moss-colored headstone, aged by the almost seven years of Boston rain. 

Despite the gloom of her surroundings, Heather's lips curled into a smile, as she kneeled down to gently place the bouquet of pink roses she bought along the way. 

"Hi mom," she said, as the tips of her fingers skimmed the name carved in stone. "I'm sorry it took me so long to visit again. Things have been a little rough." 

She went still for a moment, relishing the poignant silence in remembrance. 

More than her ambition of being trained by America's top diagnostician, this was the reason why she chose Edenbrook. To be near her, to be in her mother's home city, it somehow filled the emptiness of missing her so much. To walk on the same pavements, to spend time in the same parks and places she's been to brought Heather nothing but the strength and determination to make something out of her once miserable life. Whenever she doubted herself, or when she was about to give up, the thought of her mom fighting a sickness no one should endure, gave Heather the much needed relief and energy to get back up again. 

And that's the reason she stood there that cold winter morning. She needed her mom to come through her once again. 

Heather closed her eyes momentarily, letting the rush of the nauseating trauma of the past few weeks resurface. Her whole being has run out dry, weakening her knees. She just felt so numb inside. 

So without inhibitions, she recalled the recent events that turned her life upside down. She told about the threats over her life, and how close she was to her own death. She spoke about Raf and their recent fallout, how heartbreaking it was but relieving at the same time. She brought up Bryce last. 

"This man, mom... I can't even begin to explain how I feel about him," Heather said as she rubbed a hand over her temple. "There's something about him that I just couldn't describe. It's been there since I've first met him, and it's still here until now..." 

Her head dropped low in between her shoulders, as she remembered with fondness the emotions that Bryce stirred within her the first time they met, leading up to their frustrating confrontation. Heather irked as the thought of her failure came. 

"But somehow, I messed it up. I picked someone else, because I was too afraid..." she revealed. She knew what she felt around him, but did her best to bury it. "Although I often wondered of what we could be, or what we could have been, the deep-seated fears of heartbreak, of what you and dad went through... I just couldn't act on it." she admitted. 

"Yet when I was faced with the choice between life or death, all I had was his words, no one else's," she paused, recalling how she soldiered on towards her own escape, empowered by the same declaration during their day out in the trampolines. 

"But now I'm afraid I'm too late, mom. I may have missed out on something great... Your daughter is a coward," she bit her lip, her eyes glistening. "Am I really too late?" 

The question felt like a cliffhanger, never to be answered. 

Sighing deeply, she collected her remaining energy to unzip the small bag she brought with her. She wrapped her hands around the neck of the instrument, pulling out a mahogany-stained ukelele. It was the last gift that she received from her mom, the very same she used to play her songs during their rare downtime.

She tucked its body between her arm and chest, as she tightened its strings with the tuners. With one satisfied strum, she began to sing the song that she and her mom always sang during the roughest period of their lives. 

Hold me close and hold me fast

The magic spell you cast

This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs, 

And though I close my eyes 

I see la vie en rose

In a rush, those simple words tingled her sensations in reminiscence from flashes of her adolescence - the late night talks, the bonding over ramen noodles, her alcoholic initiation by soju, those times that they saw a movie together, the smell of pancakes and eggs in the morning. 

In the few short years they were given, Heather treasured each memory more than anything in her life. Even the tragedy of watching her mom deteriorate because of her sickness, of those last months spent in a cramped hospital ward, she wouldn't trade it even for a pot of gold. Though in pain, her mother would whisper promises that she'll always be there for her, no matter what. Until her last breath, she held her daughter's hand. Those were priceless, shared souvenirs of a life well-lived. Of a life Heather hoped she could lead. 

When you press me to your heart

I'm in a world apart, a world where roses bloom

And when you speak, angels sing from above

Everyday words seem to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me

And life will always be

La vie en rose

Within those short verses contained the life lesson her mom taught her over and over again - to see life through rose colored glasses. Singing it reminded her that even if she was long gone, the memory of her will be embedded within, whispering that no matter what, there's a reason to continue living. 

Smiling through her tears, her head tilted up to the heavens, praying that the divine could carry her thanks to her mom. For once again, in the most difficult time of her life, she did follow through. 

As a sense of peace weaved itself through her, she opened her eyes and felt the clouds dissipate. With it were the frayed edges of the shadows of fear, regret and anger. And although she knew that it will still haunt her, she was content that healing has at least begun. 

After a few more moments of silence, she placed the ukelele back into the bag and glanced endearingly upon the headstone. She skimmed her fingers over her mother's name, vowing to come back soon. 

She swiveled herself to the opposite direction and began the path back to the cemetery gates, when her hazel orbs fell upon a pair of familiar leather shoes and gray slacks, making her stop in her tracks.

When she titled her head to see the face she expected to see, a pair of amber eyes met hers that made her breath hitch. They were filled with warmth and affection that heated the cold air and melted her inside.

"You're not too late," Bryce finally said, breaking into the quiet. His mouth formed a lopsided smile, his hands shoved into the pockets of his black coat which edges reached to his knees. 

"Seems like it," Heather replied, snapping out of the daze that suddenly came over her, lips curving. "Wait, you heard everything?" 

Bryce couldn't stifle a chuckle as he nodded, the adrenaline that rushed through him earlier as he tried to track her down slowly draining from him. A new and overwhelming feeling took its place as he planted the soles of his shoes on the soft snow, bridging the gap between them. 

Once he was near enough, he gently wrapped an arm around Heather's waist, pulling her close. The knuckles of his other hand brushed her jawline until his thumb grazed her chin. His gaze lingered down on hers, completely magnetized by the depths of the windows of her soul, begging for her consent. 

Heather's palms settled onto the nape of his neck, her lips parting to grant him permission. 

In a heartbeat, Bryce tenderly pressed his lips upon hers, releasing the long-running yearning they buried so well. Unspoken words no longer need to be said aloud, clarity dawning in them both as their mouths crashed. Soft moans escaped from them as they deepened their passionate kiss, unrestrained in expressing their newfound freedom. 

When at last they stopped to catch their breaths, Bryce leaned his forehead on hers, understanding that his unrequited love was never unanswered, only delayed. That after a year of pining, here she was, standing in front of him, a realization of a dream that for so many times he willed to come true. After all the nights of hoping and hurting, he couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the sight of her in his arms. A thought poked into his mind as he started to recall where they were. 

"Well this is awkward..." the young lawyer muttered,  with a sudden shift in his voice. 

"Hm?" Heather's eyes snapped open, dumbfounded. 

"I know I always wanted to kiss you," he grinned as he paused, before continuing, "but never in a million years did I think that the first time I did is in front of your mom."

At first her brows furrowed, but seeing Bryce's mischievous expression, Heather couldn't keep herself from laughing. 

Inspired by the music of her genuine laughter, Bryce joined in. The sound of their giggles echoing through the poignant space around them. 

Heather can't remember the last time when she laughed this hard. There were so many things that hung over her head that she almost forgot how to do it. But with Bryce, it came so easily. A sense of joy began to bloom in her, and when she saw the same glint in his eyes, she knew he felt exactly the same. 

With their fingers intertwined and arms around each other's, they walked the path that only earlier they trudged separately. And now with their hearts finally out in the open, their tracks carved into the thin sheet of snow, unveiling the lush greens of the grass hidden beneath, eager to leaving what's behind, together.

Tags: @eleanorbloom @ramsey-lahela @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[inkabelledesigns]

Taking a trip down memory lane can often be a scary thing. This month, among some family movies, reflection on past events, and reconnecting with old friends, I've been dealing with a lot mentally and emotionally. But part of that has come with the joy of hearing my friends talk about their old characters and the silly things we did as kids online, and that part has been delightful. So I'm gonna spill my guts for a second and share a daughter of mine that's very very precious to me, one you wouldn't know too well unless you met me on DA.

This is Vibrance Echo, audiokinetic dj and elemental hero. By day, she's Vivian Kenson, a fairly average teenager that's passionate about the arts. She lives in Sunburst City with an adoptive father and sister, who love her very much and encourage her pursuit of music and performance. Her friend group has formed a parkour team that puts on some killer shows in the streets. They're a pretty fun group, and they all love different art forms. There's Fiti, a graffiti artist who paints her psychic visions, Mitch the resident tech guru who blends computers and arts, Dixon who's secretly a demon with a very bookish attitude, and many many more.

But everything gets crazy when Vivian meets her partner in heroism, Audius. Audius is an ancient elemental spirit, the spirit of sound, and Vivian rescues them from their place of imprisonment off the coast of Sunburst. In return, she's granted incredible power to manipulate sound waves and vibrations, and the two come together to form Vibrance. That's right, Vibrance and Vivian aren't the same person, Vibrance is essentially a fusion of Vivian and Audius, in a process known as Synchronization.

Together, they fight off a dark force known as Tumult, and his nefarious organization. Tumult aims to break the elemental spirits and use their broken pieces to send nature into chaos. After all, he who controls nature can change the world however they see fit.

So why is looking at the past scary? Well, the time in which I developed Vibrance was also the few years I had a close friend as a co-writer, who ended up as my boyfriend for about nine months. When we split, so did our story, and we never talked about what to do with it, we just kind of stopped being in touch. I was so broken up about it that I couldn't touch anything for Vibe for a long time.

Until recently. I've slowly been working on repairing her and her story. This is a character that was my entire world once, much like Auran is now. Even if she's not my primary focus, I still love her, and I want to see her story through, just slowly and on my own terms. A big thing that's helped me is actually making her and her friends in the Sims. I have an apartment where she, Fiti, and Pyrite (her big sister) live together, and down the hall are Mitch and Dixon. They're a great group to play with, and I love them so much. It's given me a ton of ideas too! Like I didn't know Dixon loved books so much until now, but he's grown to love learning new things and reads often. I'd love to share more of their adventures some day, I just get so hung up on the details and worry that people will put it all under a microscope to judge.

There's so much more to this world than you know. The old elemental masters, the mysterious origins for Pyrite, the mermaids, the idea of two elemental heroes synchronizing together to make a dual elemental, the two time travellers that totally flip how time travel works as a concept? I've had this story in me for years, I want to bring it out to shine someday. So, um, would it be okay if I shared my doodles and thoughts for it now and again? ^^''' I know that's so silly to ask, but I have no one to share it with, I'd really like to share my little worlds with you guys. Even if I'm just screaming into a void, at least I'll have said it out loud, which is more than I can say for the past four years. Thank you for listening and reading through, I hope you liked it!

[fluffychubbyrose]

Monkey King Wukong Sun x Confident Reader.

Requested.

One Shot.

Warnings- Wukong may be O.C., Language, Slight violence, Reader gets jump scared, and mostly SFW hints at NSFW.

I'm so sorry it took so long but I hope you like it.

I've been apart of Wukongs group for awhile now. I joined him and the others Liuer, An An, and Bajue on his journey after trolls attacked my village and took what little I had away from me when they destroyed my house. He won't admit it, but he was shocked and admired my bravery and selflessness when he found me barely out running the trolls on one of the paths leading them away from the village that fateful day. He attacked and was able to defeat all three of them single handedly without any help. That day my house was simply collateral damage from the trolls tearing up the village in search of more children to take.

(Flashback to first meeting Wukong.)

I knew the only children left where hiding but with the speed of which the trolls where tearing down the houses they would find them in no time. So instead of running and hiding like the rest of the village people were, I decided the only chance for the village surviving this attack was to distract the trolls and lead them away.

The only way I was able to convince the horrendous trolls to take chase was by wrapping up bundles of the children's clothing in blankets and running with one in each arm past the trolls like I was desperately trying escape from them with my two children. Luckily with a little acting on my part faking to cry and scream in terror before running away was enough for the trolls to take chase after me and my "children".

Though I cannot lie because not all of my terror was false especially when the trolls where catching up after me when they saw me and scented the children's clothes in my arms. I ran for what felt like forever but couldn't have been more than a few minutes and even with the sharp and sudden turns I was making down different paths they were quickly gaining on me. That's when I noticed somone else up the path and I fear I may have just cost this unsuspecting man his life.

That fear I had for his life didn't last for long though when he saw the trolls behind me and watched with wide eyes as one lashed out snagging and tearing the back of my shirt I yelp and try to run faster when the man started running not away from them like anyone else would have, no he ran right past me and at the trolls. I stopped running shortly after and whipped around in shock. I was only able to watch what I was certain to be this delusional and crazy mans death. But then I saw the struggle going on and soon realized it was this man that I should have been running from along with the trolls after watching first hand how he skillfully attacked and defeated the beasts with strength and ease.

Soon after the shock of the situation started to wear off and I dropped my dummy "children" placing my hands on my knees gasping for air from my run and struggling not to pass out from a lack of oxygen. All while still gaping in shock at this mysterious man. It wasn't until he approached me that I realized that this was no man, monster, or beast, but instead was Dasheng.

I stared in bewilderment wondering if the trolls had indeed caught up and left me fatality wounded on the path and that's why I'm hallucinating so vividly. I heard a child gasp before I saw them. I look to my right glancing away from Dasheng to see a young boy with a baby strapped to his little back crouched down by the dummies unwrapping and checking to see if I hurt what he thought to be children when I carelessly dropped them moments before.

"What the? Their fake?" The young boy asks looking up at me with confusion. "Yeah their fake. It was the only way to lure the trolls out of my village and away from the real children. I was trying to keep them safe and keep anymore of them from being taken by the trolls." I managed to gasp out still breathless and light headed, my heart refusing to calm even though the danger has past.

"They would have killed you when they realized they were fake and went back and taken those children anyways your more foolish than clever." Dasheng snaps out giving me an angered but surprised look that I wasn't able to completely decipher. "Wukong! I don't think she was foolish she was sacrificing herself for her village she was being very brave and honorable." A pig looking man huffed out at Dasheng. 'Huh I guess that's Dashengs name. I wonder where that pig man was this whole time? Was he hiding from the trolls or did he just get left behind when Dasheng ran away from them to attack the trolls?'

"Bajie is right she's very brave and I think she's clever! She outsmarted the trolls didn't she?" The little boy says pouting and looking up at Wukong. My heads still spinning from everything that's happened but I stand up and I'm about to give Wukong a snide remark for calling me foolish when I feel a cool breeze on my back.

I frown in confusion until I remember the troll slashing my shirt with his claws. My face burns and I cross my arms over my chest to prevent my shirt from falling forward anymore than it already has and revealing more than I'd like too in front of strangers and a child no less. "I'm Liuer and this is- Oh that's pretty how did you get that flower to stay on your back like that?" The little boy says quickly bouncing around me in excitement trying to get a better view of the lotus flower tattooed on my back that is now exposed for all to see.

"Hey knock it off!" Wukong snapped Liuer giving him an embarrassed and annoyed glare before quickly looking away. Liuer just ignored him and continued to circle around me excitedly trying to get a better look at the tattoo on my back. I just smiled at him weakly feeling faint. "I need to go back to my village and let everyone know that the trolls are gone. At least for now." I managed to mumble out with my vision getting blurry. "Fine hurry up we were heading there for the night anyways." Grumps out in a hiss. "And for more food!" Bajie says excitedly.

I start walking back to the village with Wukong and his two followers in tow. I glance at him a few times during our journey back to the village and he won't meet my eyes now that he's noticed my ripped shirt. He has his arms raised with his hands intertwined behind his head walking on my right side with Liuer inbetween us and Bajie in front of us rambling on about different foods he hopes my village has for him to eat. I smirk softly smug that I made the great Dasheng embarrassed by showing only a little skin and a bit of cleavage. Though I'd rather it be on my own terms to show off this much of my body at once, I'm not displeased by his reaction.

(End of flashback.)

I'm smiling from the memory of our first meeting while laying my bedroll down near the fire at our camp for the night. We found an abandoned kingdom one of many since the troll and monster attacks started years ago, to set up camp in for the night.

We have been traveling for days on end only stopping to refill our water gourds, relieve ourselves, and to set up camp for the night. Then we eat, sleep, and repeat. So everyone is thoroughly exhausted besides Wukong of course. The mischievous monkey king seems to have a never endless supply of energy, along with an almost always present sour attitude.

He gets frustrated easily and likes to push people away rather than let them get close to him. He's tried to get rid of me countless times when I decided I was going to join him in his journey by constantly saying rude and snide remarks about me and quite literally ditching me in the forest several times but non of it phased me and I always found them again.

Recently I've been the only one able to get past the cold exterior of his, because if anyone ignores it and the rude comments he says they can see just how soft and caring he can be. Granted those moments are rare and far between it's still there, just masked so well most people can't see it and they'll choose to believe it never existed in the first place because of it.

"Oi what are you doing?" Wukong hisses baring his fangs a little and yanks my bedroll away from the fire and places it a good 6ft away from where it had been. "Hey what the hell!? I'm trying to set everything up so I can get some sleep soon I'm exhausted!" I snapped with a glare mad that he just messed up all my stuff. My blankets are all strewn about and my makeshift pillow fell off the roll when he dragged it away, so now it's laying in the dirt and dust that has accumulated on the abandoned kingdoms floor.

I stand up and snatch my pillow off the ground dusting it off and placing it back on my bed roll and then I make a move to, move it closer to the fire again because the stone floor is cold and there's a cold bite to the air tonight. But near the fire its warm and so are the stones which would make sleep tonight come much quicker and be much more pleasant. But before I can move it back Wukongs foot slams down onto the middle of my bedroll and refuses to budge despite my tugging.

I sigh heavily not in the mood to fight with him. This is one of those moments where outsiders would see Wukong as only a rude and crass man. But I know he's doing this for a reason, he isn't one to just be cruel to someone for the fun of it despite how he acts. I'm about to ask what that reason is when he sighs out while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You move that back and I wont help you when your bed catches fire tonight from being so close!" When he finished speaking he pulled his foot off my bed and walked away. My eyes widen in suprise at what he says and I huff knowing he's right I was too close and with stone floors any embers will just blow across the floor right at my very flammable bedding rather than landing on the ground and staying there until they burn out like they normally would. Instead of moving it back like I want to I decide to leave it where its at.

I can still feel the heat of the fire after all so it isn't that big of a deal it'll just take a little while to heat up my bedroll to a comfortable temperature with the cold stones below me. I'm about to get under my blankets and get some rest before it's my turn to keep watch after Bajie in a few hours when a blanket is thrown and hits me in the back of the head.

I gasp and whip around angrily seeing Wukong quickly slipping under his own blankets on his bedroll acting like he didn't just throw one of his blankets at me and hit me in the head with it while doing so. "What the fuck was that for!?" I snarled lowly trying not wake Liuer and An An who have been asleep since we started to set up camp. "So you won't catch your ass on fire! Now go to sleep!" He hisses his voice a pitch or two higher than normal as if he's embarrassed. I look at his back that's turned towards me with surprise that he would give me one of his blankets so I wouldn't be cold.

I hold up the tan colored blanket in my hands, it's the thickest blanket he has. He was even bragging about it when he got it just a few weeks ago, very much so full of himself and smug that he got such a deal for it that it was basically free. I hug it close to my chest for a moment feeling a warmth spread throughout me with a small smile on my face because even though his aim wasn't the best and his remark on it wasn't the nicest he just gave me his favorite blanket. Actions speak louder than words after all.

I lay down with the thick heavy blanket on top of me smelling faintly like Wukong. I snuggle further into my bedroll curling the blankets around myself tighter yawning before finally feeling safe and warm enough to fall asleep. My rest was dreamless, but deep and undisturbed until I woke up in what felt like only minutes of being asleep but must have been hours because Bajie was lightly shaking my shoulder to wake me and let me know it's now my turn to get up and keep watch for the rest of the night.

I didn't know just how exhausted I really was until I was woken up looking at Bajie with blurry eyes and confusion written all over my face. My body felt hot and heavy and I had to struggle to sit up out of my makeshift bed grumpy because I was sleeping so hard and well. Since the trolls first attacked my village I haven't been able to slip into that deep of a sleep because every little thing or noise would wake me up.

I was so scared something would happen while I was asleep thinking I wouldn't be able to protect myself if I allowed myself to sleep soundly. So sleep was light and restless because of my stress and paranoia of sudden attacks from the trolls. So the fact that a deep sleep came so easily to me tonight is a pleasant surprise and I'm non to happy with having it interrupted. My body is screaming at me to lay back down and escape back into the peaceful bliss of sleep once more.

I watch with a confused pout as Bajie slumps down onto his pile of blankets he calls a bed. I sigh heavily and stretch knowing I have to get up and keep watch just in case something happens, knowing seeing the threat first and being able to prepare for it is much better than being taken by surprise. I stand up still feeling confused, wondering about what was different about tonight and how I slept so soundly that I didn't even here Bajie approach which would have been easy for even a deep sleeper to hear, because while Bajie has good intentions most of the time, being quite is not one of his strong suits or something he tries to be for that matter.

The only difference I can think of would be Wukongs blanket. I flush at the thought feeling like my skin is burning. There's no way I took that much comfort from such a simple thing as having someone else's blanket and scent wrapped around me while I slept. I shake my head at the thought and glance over at Wukongs bedroll to see that he's not there.

I whip around looking for him around the room were in to see if maybe Bajie woke him and he was getting more fire wood for the dwindling fire but he's still no where to be seen. I walk over and reach into my pack retrieving my coat to wear since its colder than it was earlier that evening. After I slip it and my shoes on I walk over grabbing some firewood and tossing it onto the fire before leaving to take over watch for the evening, and if I'm lucky find where Wukong escaped too in the middle of the night again this time.

I search the perimeter around the part of the kingdom that we're camping out in to make sure nothing is lurking about just beyond the shadows, and when I'm satisfied with my search I start walking down one of the overgrown pathes in the middle of kingdom. I look around in awe because everything looks so fairytale like in the moon light tonight. Anyone else would probably think it's creepy or fear what they can't see in the dark and the stillness of it all would send chills up most spines but not me, I know what lurks in the dark and I'm not afraid anymore.

If those monster where to snatch me up and eat me or just plain out kill me they would have done so long ago. So the quite, moon lit, tranquil setting of this abonded kingdom is calming to me. I smile softly sitting down on a large boulder in the middle of what used to be the plaza of the kingdom.

My quite and tranquil atmosphere didn't last long when the momentarily forgotten Monkey King decided to make his presence known when I'm suddenly grabbed from behind with a hand clasped over my mouth to keep me from screaming. I squirm and thrash around trying escape my captures hold. One arm of mine is free and swing it back to elbow my attacker right in the stomach there's a loud grunt and I'm released. I jump up and whip around seeing Wukong hunched over holding his stomach with an equally playful and angered look in his eyes. "What the hell was that for!?" I yell at him more than pissed about the little stunt he just pulled on me. I walk up and hit him in the chest repeatedly both wanting and not wanting to hurt him.

He just huffed out a laugh and caught my hands in his loosely, leaning in close to my face I pull my head back but his hold on me stays. "One that didn't really hurt, and two you need to pay more attention when your on watch! You we're so zoned out, that you didn't even hear or notice me sneak up on you until I grabbed you. You could have been killed and you need to fight harder than an elbow blow to the stomach because that won't phase a troll or any other monster that attacks you and I can't let anything happen to you! Do you understand that! If you died I might as well have never left that fucking cave and this whole thing would be pointless without you here by my side!"

He's in my face as he says all this with a slight growl rumbling his chest with his fangs poking out more than usual from his snarled look. I'm shocked from what he says, angry at him for scaring me, embarrassed that I was so easily taken off guard, frustrated with him for doing this now when I've been throwing hints his way for months, and touched all at once for how much he just admitted that he cares for me even though he has a magnificent way of showing it.

My eyes widen at his confession my face feels like it's on fire and my heart is hammering inside of my chest and my frustration wins over my other emotions and I look up at him staring him right in the eye with frustration and lust. He realizes what he said and how close he is to me and his eyes widen, his ears pin to the sides of his head, and he lets go of my hands and he's about to pull away when I snatch the collar of his shirt and yank his face back down towards mine and kiss him roughly.

I move closer to him pressing my soft body against his hard one. I'm about to pull away because his lips stayed still when he growls loudly while winding his arms around me tightly, pressing close, and kissing me back just as rough. His fangs digging into the sides of my mouth sharply but not painfully. I moan and he pulls back chuckling breathlessly while I gasp trying to catch my breath. We stay holding each other tightly with our foreheads pressed together when I feel bumps under his shirt and they move. I jump slightly in shock and before Wukong figures out what I'm doing I pull back and slip my hands under his shirt, lifting it up as fast as possible before he can react or protest. What I find is his tail wrapped tightly around his torso.

I look up at him with surprise I never saw his tail before so I just assumed he didn't have one or something happened to it. I reach my hand out to touch his tail when he grabs my hands softly. "Its really sensitive, thats why I hide it, it's a weak point for me in fights. Someone can grab my tail and yank it and I would be crippled by the pain." He mumbles softly not looking me in the eye obviously embarrassed. He lets go of my hands and lets his shirt drop back down to cover his torso but he unravels his tail from around himself and it sways softly behind him. I cup his soft furry cheek in my hand and he leans into my touch with a huff. I lean forward and peck him on the lips again.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about Wukong. I honestly thought you didn't have a tail you do very well at hiding it and for good reason I don't think any less of you for it." I sigh out smiling softly up at him. He pouts and turns his head to the side but I notice his lips twitch up into a half smile and his shoulders slump down releasing the tension I didn't know he had, meaning he was worried about what I thought of him, because he was hiding his tail. "Didn't care if you did." He grumps out which obviously isn't true he secretly cares about my opinion more than he wants to admit and it makes me happy that my validation means so much to him. His arms wrap around my soft frame once more with a small tsk escaping him.

He kisses me softly almost unsurely until I bite his lip making him growl and press himself tighter to me while kissing me roughly. It didn't take long another nip or two at his bottom lip with his fangs pressed against the corners of my mouth and our tongues were battling for dominance. I was losing but not giving up easily. I move my left arm up and around his neck fisting the hair on the nape of his neck into my hand making him groan and in turn making me smirk and I'm letting him win for the moment his tongue exploring my mouth with vigor.

All while my right hand has been slowly snaking around his back and down his waist towards his tail. 'Sometimes in order to win the battle you have to play dirty.' I think when my hand finally wraps around his tail. He stops kissing me and jumps back with gasp looking at me with bewilderment. He's about to rip himself away from me when I start to softly rub his tail.

He lets out a shuttering moan that turns into a soft whimper and clasps his hand tightly around his mouth with wide eyes. I glance up at him with a surprised and sultry look and then glance back down at his tail in my hand. His hand drops from his mouth and joins his other in embracing me fully once more.

'Huh so it's "that" kind of sensitive as well.' I continue to rub softly as his hold on me tightens and his claw like nails start digging into the soft and supple flesh of my back. His fangs worrying his bottom lip and his face is contorted into pleasured frown. Despit his efforts to not make anymore noise he's rumbling softly from his chest like a deep purr. I grasp his tail a little more firmly and wrap my other hand around his hip grabbing his tail with both hands and giving it gentle squeezes and rubbing a bigger portion of it now.

He gasps and moans his hips snapping forwards towards mine impulsively and I didn't have time react I only got to hear his snarl before suddenly the wind was knocked out of me and I'm on my back on the cold stone floor of the kingdoms plaza with Wukong above me holding my hands above my head. I catch my breath and I'm about to question him when I look up into his eyes and his pupils are blown so wide I can hardly see his iris's in the moonlight and his breathing is ragged with his fangs bared in a snarl as he continues to growl lowly, he looks absolutely feral.

My breath comes out in soft desperate pants when he kisses me suddenly. Forcefully shoving his tongue inside my mouth. I moan and feel him shift just now realizing he was between my legs and decided since I already poked the bear I might as well push him over the edge completely. All it took was a raise of my hips allowing him to grind against me for him to loose control.

@rubysdeathspeak

[escarlatafox]

whispers for the 'send you a series' meme, i'm tempted to just be Unoriginal and say kung fu panda, but if you'd rather something else, i'm seeing a lot of steven universe around here jfjfiea

Masha ily. You know that, right? :D

Kung Fu Panda:

Favourite character: Who else but Shifu? XD

Second favourite character: It might actually be Po

Least favourite character: Hard to think of a least favourite character. If we ONLY count the main cast + the villains in the movies and exclude any other minor characters, then I’d say Kai maybe? Just wasn’t as impactful to me as the other characters/villains. Or if we include minor characters I might say the hugging panda from the third movie because the gag and his character didn’t really add much. Also, I’ve already spoken about this in the past, possibly more than once, but back when I was a child upon watching the first movie, my answer to this question would actually be Ping. Suffice it to say, my opinion on him changed a LOT. XD

The character I’m most like: Maybe I am like Po in some ways. At my core, I’m a fangirl lol. And I like food :O

Favourite pairing: Don’t really have any ships. Crane and the girl from that one short tho. Like idk if I’d want them to get together, maybe not now that I think about it. But it would be nice to see them interact more.

Least favourite pairing: HAH. Let’s just say I really hate what Legends of Awesomeness decided to do with Shifu in the shipping realm and leave it at that. :P

Favourite moment: YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME CHOOSE? There’s no way. I could only list off notable ones. Okay, if we narrow it down to non-Shifu moments, off the top of my head, you obviously have the iconic cannonball scene at the end of kung fu panda 2, and in the THIRD movie I love love love how when Po is in the spirit realm and he says “turns out... I’m all of them” and the music swells and the framing and the scenery is just. so gorgeous . I love. So much. If I sat here thinking too long I’d probably start recapping all the movies SO since I’ve thrown those two out there I’ll cut myself off before I get too out of hand. XD

Rating out of 10: First movie is just 10/10 for me. It’s my favourite movie, not just in the franchise but like, probably ever among movies in general, and just about every moment and scene feels like home when I watch it. The trio of movies I’d then put at probably around 9/10.

Steven Universe:

Favourite character: I can now say with confidence that it is Steven Universe.

The people who liked Steven “before it was cool” certainly have bragging rights, because I was one of those people who failed to find myself among them, as I lacked the foresight, or... future vision for it. :P. At first, in the very early days, I didn’t really care for Steven. It’s often very easy to gloss over a protagonist, and, in my case, not truly appreciate what’s great in a character like early-days Steven, or even Po. Now, Steven and Po are, naturally, quite distinct characters in their distinct franchises but there are certainly parallels that can be drawn, not only in their character but how I initially felt towards them. By asking for both fandoms in the one ask, I feel like you’ve given me the opportunity to speak about this, which has been idly on my mind every so often. XDBoth Steven and Po are the protagonist of the franchise they’re in. They’re both fond of food, they both start out needing training and then develop incredible skills along the way until they become one of, if not the most powerful in the cast. They’re both generally very easygoing, excitable, enthusiastic, FRIENDLY, and generally kind. At the start of their journeys, there’s a lot of focus on how much they’re lacking in skills and abilities, how difficult it is for them to accomplish even the basics. They both gotta Save The World, whether it be more in the sense of the universe as a whole or China.And the thing is I had the same issue with Po as I did with early-days Steven; I didn’t realise how great Po is. I was just a little too dismissive. With time, (and I’m talking around the point where I actually entered the fandom after the second movie was out, so it was mostly kid me who is guilty of not recognising Po’s greatness) I grew to realise just how cool Po is, to truly appreciate his genuine enthusiasm and excitement and also utmost reverence and admiration of kung fu. I simply Expected Po’s character to be less than it was, which is what caused the oversight. But Po is honestly so fantastic and deserves every last bit of love the fandom has to offer him. Also, seeing his potential and him reaching his potential is so damn epic. See: his “turns out, I’m all of them” quote/scene I mentioned earlier.So to bring things back to Steven, whose character arc nonetheless has its VERY stark differences from Po’s, it was around when Steven managed to calm down and stop the cluster that it fully registered in my mind how fantastic and amazing he is and how much I appreciate his character. In fact, it was a little earlier than that. Pretty sure I hadn’t actually started watching the show yet when Sadie’s Song aired, but I was getting all the deets secondhand on my dashboard and I loved what I heard and saw in gifs/pics. A boy who just wants to perform and dance around on stage in heels and a gorgeous outfit to boot (I really liked the thought of trans girl Steven at the time tbh, which was being thrown about on my dashboard back then, though of course that’s not the path the show decided to go down, so he/him it is...!). He had my full support. And THEN when he calmed the cluster down like that... (and I think I was probably watching the show at that point?) I just, loved his incredible talent to reach out to others and HELP them, I loved his magical gem abilities and how he always seemed to be triumphing against the odds, and as the show progressed his feats only started getting more and more impressive. I absolutely noticed how much responsibilities he’d started forcing onto himself, how he was trying to manage everyone and be an adult to all the adults in his life, I was kind of intrigued by how much he was shouldering, and it struck me that he had developed an Atlas Personality long, long before he was ever listed as an example of it on the wikipedia page. I simply adored Steven and his placement in the show and everything.He’s also completely ACING things as usual in the movie too.And then Steven Universe Future hit, and oh boy, that’s a whole other story. Steven truly emerged as the forefront seeing as the focus was now unrelentingly on him and his issues. What initially got me really hooked as well, was the inherent shock and intrigue of seeing a character who would usually always do the right thing, who always seemed to know what was best for everyone, who always seemed to be able to read a situation and understand who needed help and then reaching out and offering them help... not only completely failing to recognise that HE was the source of a given problem (see: the pink dome rapidly closing in), but to actively dig himself deeper by being convinced SOMEONE ELSE was at fault, and whirling around and trying to pin it all on them. Before Steven whirled around to point at Lars, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that he was about to be like “guys, you know what? I think I’m causing this - I think I have some stuff going on” LOL NOPE. And that was only the tip of the ice berg. Steven had nowhere else to go but down, and boy, down did he go until he hit rock bottom, pulled out a shovel and started digging.

Second favourite character: Hard to say. I do know that I am crazy about the zircons (I mean c’mon - lawyers!). I was crazy about Blue Pearl when we first saw her too. My answer might’ve been Aquamarine or even Eyeball if it wasn’t for Steven Universe Future. Seeing more of them just kinda made me go “ok you know what, yeah this isn’t really what I expected and they’re not actually really my thing after all.” I reeeeally don’t know. Steven Universe has such a stellar cast of great characters. Steven Universe Future also kinda threw me off Spinel, but obviously Spinel is A+ as well.

Least favourite character: I don’t really care about Lapis. She just kind of lost appeal as a character to me and I never really understood her I guess. I was also never fond of the diamonds... because you know, discourse, and like, the discourse kind of has a point. But after Steven Universe Future I might invest more in trying to understand their positioning in the show a little more, now with the confirmation that Steven never did actually forgive them. I completely wrote-off White Diamond’s seemingly quick turnaround for the longest time and honestly never bought it and felt it was WAY too easy and rushed/forced. But I came to an internal understanding quite recently and I THINK I finally get what the show meant there so I think I can buy it now and find it believable at last, which is nice. So don’t quote me and don’t crucify me, but I might warm up to the diamonds a Little.

The character I’m most like: omg. There’s so many characters idk who is most like me hahaha

Favourite pairing: Connverse. Connie kissing Steven on the cheek in the movie made me SO pleased, and I can say this is my favourite pairing if only because the prospect of it not working out and instead going up in flames and not actually having a good resolution - which is a threat that felt so very real during Steven Universe Future - was deeply, DEEPLY upsetting to me. Like I didn’t care because I’d been taking it for GRANTED, but the moment anyone suggested, with alarming plausibility that they may split up or whatever, I was immediately on edge like “NO NO NO NO NO”.

Least favourite pairing: Stevinel. Stevidot. Just, any ship with Steven and any of the gems is an instant no from me. D:

Favourite moment: omggg. Again, there are simply way too many, so no answer I give here can or will be definitive. So I’ll simply state my love for when Steven is singing Change and Spinel yeets him in the sky and there’s the stellar animation where he goes “You can make it different... You can make it right! You can make it better! We don’t have to fight!”

Rating out of 10: I’d probably give it a 9/10, if only because, look. There are a LOT of shows out there. There are a lot of pieces of media I’m into and have watched. And Steven Universe is just. It’s good. Even when I like another piece of media MORE than Steven Universe, I can still more than readily acknowledge when/if SU has vastly superior writing. And it usually does. The only thing stopping me from giving it a 10/10 is because for the vast majority of SU’s existence I was mainly only ever a passive watcher/fan and/or got secondhand knowledge (closer to the start of it airing), so it lacks that fundamental closeness to my heart that something like Kung Fu Panda has. (Though I got way more close to it during SUF, as my reblogs can attest to LOL). The other thing stopping it from hitting that 10/10 is there are things I still take issue with, like how the Rose=Pink reveal undermines Pearl’s character (the “rebellion” aspect) and casts an EXTREMELY uncomfortable light on Pearl being in love with Rose. Yes, the show already showed us that Pearl’s obsession with Rose is unhealthy and problematised it. But regardless of how problematised it already was, I’m just not comfortable with a former slave being shown as being in love with their former master at all. What does that add, realistically? There are other valid criticisms that have been pointed out, namely how aspects of the show such as Sugilite’s role in Coach Steven do fail its Black audience. That undercurrent is there and it’s unfortunate.

[jade4813]

Jade, how are you? Did you peep TF FB page recently? there is a lot a hate towards Iris there, in every post I saw most of people shitting on her and I honestly think it's even worst now than in the previous seasons 😩 do you think due the backlash the network could made the producers kill Iris off or sideline her? because I don't think the producers would do that but we all know that C*W is trash 😒 since you have a brother that works w television do you think I'm overthinking?

I wouldn’t worry about it. I think they know The Flash’s Facebook page is just a cesspool of hate. And if you look everywhere else - Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. - there’s a lot of love for Iris.The Internet has been around long enough for show runners to learn that one website’s opinion isn’t indicative of the fan base as a whole. To be frank, the Internet’s opinion as a whole doesn’t necessarily speak to the general fandom. Remember, the people online who talk about it every week and dissect and get really into it? We are the outliers. If the show runners wrote the show based off what Online fandom says, they’d be cancelled in a year. If there are 3,000 passionate stans Online, there are ten times that who never talk about it on the computer. They just watch week to week. That’s the majority of the audience. And do they have passionate love or hatred towards Iris? Probably not.I mean, think of the shows you watch casually - the ones you might tune into every week, but you don’t talk about them after or really even think about until the following week. The ones where you might remember all the characters’ names but maybe not. You may have characters you’re more “meh” about than others and some you’re more “aw, I like them” than others but either way, you just kind of move on. You aren’t screaming for them to be killed off. You aren’t screaming for others to get their screen time. You also aren’t yelling about how they need a whole arc about X, Y, or Z. That kind of fan is the one the show runners are writing for. That is the general audience.As far as online, they care people ARE talking but most show runners aren’t caring what they’re saying. Because, again, it’s a small subset of their audience that cares that much anyway, and the way they dissect and the things they care about may not be what the general audience cares about. And even if they did pay attention to what was said online, Facebook is a cesspool, but every other place online has a huge amount of support for Iris. Why would they think one site’s toxic/racist opinion was more important than the overwhelming love elsewhere?So what do the show runners pay attention to? First...ratings. However they measure that figure. For CW, they’ve had to move past traditional ratings and focus on online engagement too. Flash is still #1 for the network - apparently on both. And while it’s true the overnight ratings across all networks and almost all shows have dropped in the last couple of years, 1) they are aware of that trend in the landscape, so Flash falling too isn’t a big surprise or deal, 2) Flash is in its 4th year, and ratings generally decrease over time so that’s not a surprise either (nor will it be a surprise if at some point another show becomes the new #1 for the network - in fact, the network desperately wants and needs another hit), and 3) apparently Flash is consistently a show that about doubles its ratings with streaming views, so it’s still going REALLY strong for the CW.Also, if they pay attention to what people are saying, it’s going to be to critical reviews. Not because they care what EW thinks of Flash, per se, but because reviews can bring in new audience members or drive them away. And while you will never get 100% consensus on anything, there’s been a lot of praise for Candice and her acting (and Iris) in critical reviews.Frankly, I don’t think you have to worry about them being so freaked out by Facebook that they do away with Iris. Here’s the thing. Take a step back and look at the trend of how the marketing and the show has handled their non-Grant cast since the beginning. In particular, look at Candice’s trajectory.When the show started, there was all this buzz about Danielle and Caitlin and how great it was that a woman was in STEM. They patted themselves on the back for it. As for Candice...well, she had several critical outlets outright ignore her and a few others call for her to be fired. Finding a shot of Iris in trailers became like a quest to find the Fountain of Youth. There was a lot of looking but very little finding - and when there was a shot found, it was often from the back so we had to analyze “is that her or a random extra?”Then 2A happened. These were dark days. Little screen time. Little buzz. She wasn’t even the one consistently invited to panels and cons. Remember the Heroes and Villains discussion panel where she wasn’t even invited though almost everyone else was? Yeah.If we were still in that position, I’d tell you it’s prayer time. But then look at what happened. Earth 2 Iris. Remember, leading into the episode, it was pretty clear they did NOT expect for Iris to be anywhere close to a draw. They thought the audience would be like “well, that’s nice...but KILLER FROST...” (Also remember that Caitlin-heavy or even centric episodes were getting pre-screened for critics, expecting to generate a lot of buzz.) But what happened? They pre-screened and critics were like “okay, it’s good to see Killer Frost. But IRIS...we have to talk about Iris because THAT WAS AMAZING!” And after the episode, what got an astonishing amount of buzz? Iris.So they were like “oh, maybe we should do more with her” and started playing her up a bit more. Through end of S2 to first half of S3, they have her more to do and critics noticed. Again, there was a lot of talk about her acting ability and how she nails each scene. And the show played her up even more. To the point where it’s Grant and Candice who are consistently talked about at cons and in interviews and who are invited to panels. Weren’t they the only ones invited to something like Paley last year? If you have a show where someone comes in and the EXPECTATION is that they’ll generate a lot of buzz and then they don’t...or if you have a situation where an actor or character is given every opportunity to steal the focus of buzz and attention (by marketing and promos focusing heavily on them, for example) but they just don’t manage to do it...if the show had started with her being treated like female lead but another character kept stealing her thunder and buzz...then you can worry about what the show may do with their character under X or Y circumstance. Or think trolls on Facebook will matter. But Candice has had the opposite. Even CW marketing often ignored her and treated like she wasn’t the female lead (remember the Women of CW banners and such?). Well, DP was somewhat better known at the start. So they treated Candice like they didn’t think she’d be a draw or people would care about her. And then time and time again, when the show expected someone or something else to be the focus of attention and discussion, the chatter has been about Iris. Positive and negative, but she’s a character people talk about. She gets attention. And how many times has it happened that an episode was clearly geared towards getting chatter on something else (or the expectation was that it would) and yet it’s Iris/Candice/Westallen that gets the chatter they expected that other character/plot to get?And you can tell they’ve noticed. Look how they’ve increased her prominence. Look how they focus promos. We had a whole promo teasing the Westallen therapy humor. Could you imagine her getting a promo like that in late S1/early S2? I sure as hell couldn’t.So the people in charge clearly think Iris works for them. They’ve increased, not decreased, her show profile. And not because “well, of course we expect she’ll be popular so we’ll set her up for success at every turn.” They didn’t expect her popularity - they were in fact often surprised by it and shifted THEIR approach to give her focus based off the positive response to HER. Not the other way around (she didn’t get her positive response because they were giving her the focus). So, look. Things can change in another 6 years. But they clearly think Iris and Candice are a draw. And not because they always assumed she would be and are acting on that assumption. But because they came to realize she was and could be and began to capitalize on that. So is one site like Facebook going to overcome the combination of factors that led them to realize that they needed to give her more prominence and focus? That made them realize there was a benefit to treating her like female lead, sending her and Grant to cons, making her one of the main female faces for the network? I doubt it.And also notice that Facebook has hated Candice and Iris for years with a ludicrous amount of vitriol. But every time people call for her to be killed off, what does the show do? “The focus of the season will be on saving her and you can suck it.” “Oh, you want her dead? How about she becomes team leader instead?”They clearly know there are those who hate her. They clearly also don’t care what those people say. They keep doubling down on her because they have reason to believe that doing so works for them. So I’m not at all fussed about Facebook. I suspect the show runners don’t care much about the trolls on Facebook either.(And being honest, most of the time they know that their show IS being discussed but they neither know nor care what is being said. They know Iris generates buzz. Good and bad. But in the new landscape where online chatter is calculated with ratings, WHAT’S being said is less important than the fact that week after week, people can’t keep Iris’s name out of their mouths. Facebook may be spending time bringing her up to say they hate her, but week after week, Iris’s name is being said at least second most on that site. And THAT’S what they are paying attention to. People can love her or hate her...as long as they keep talking about her!)