#granted i plan to do more silly stuff like this in the future so maybe itll happen one day

[smittyw]

(dailies 4.20.23)

i thought itd be fun to get outside suggestions for my characters' fursonas, these were the results 👀 are they befitting.... time will tell..

[peoplesrazor]

Finally getting around to a follow up

Link to my first post.

When I first talked about this I ended the post by saying:

I might make another post in the future and touch on other stuff related to this. What Lily says about Amity breaking up with Luz because of her behavior. Whether the people around Luz should have confronted her more often and so on.

Finally getting around to that other post. Thanks to @risingphoenix87 for the reminder. This time I'm starting out knowing it's going to be a long post.

Heavy spoilers for The Owl House in this one.

First, I want to make a point I didn't in the last post. The reason I didn't is I was trying to "meet Lily where she stands," as it were and discuss the ideas she as she presented them. While I think that was a good approach over all to this video, it may have ended up sounding like I agreed with something I do not.

The idea I'm talking about is that of Luz's trauma response changing.

In this and other Owl House videos Lily claims Luz used to have a different, more proactive response to trauma, and that in season two that response changed.

I need to point out, I don't think that's true. Rereading my post, I realized I said her response changed because she did. That's not really what I meant. What I meant was her emotional responses changed, not what she's actually doing. Small, but important difference there.

To explain more clearly:

Luz is still pretty proactive. Even as she becomes more guilt-ridden and upset, she's still determined. She's still active. She's still at the center and the one the others are looking to for answers. Amity literally ends a pretty simple statement, that at least they'll all be together at the end of it, with the phrase "Right, Luz?" in the second episode of Season 3. (It's horrible timing, but that's plot convenience.)

What changed was Luz's response to failure. Think of all the times in Season one when the stakes were pretty low and Luz messed up. She what? Smiled sheepishly? Gave a nervous apology, maybe? Said oops! Didn't know that would happen, silly me? The kid set my second-hand embarrassment off the whole season.

Then something happened that raised the stakes and had real consequences. That led to Eda getting captured, nearly petrified, and losing her magic. That led to her only way home being destroyed.

Something that Luz blames herself for.

And season two just builds and builds on that. The stakes get increasingly higher. Luz puts more and more pressure on herself. She wants to make a new door. She wants to reassure her mother. She wants to stay on the isles. She wants people to listen to her about Belos. Just building and building, until she finds out she was actually part of Belos' plan all along.

So, yeah, Lily, girl's a little rattled.

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, onto the argument about confronting and breaking up with Luz.

I'm going to say Luz is dealing with Toxic Guilt. The link there is to the UK counseling directory's entry on the subject. They offer a lot of information on the subject and ways to help someone get through it.

Note some of the characteristics. Excessive self-blame. I helped Belos. Perfectionism. The first part of the in school hero speech. The way she scoffs at the word hero guts me. Self-punishment. The second part of that speech. The never been born part. Negative self-image. Oh my Gosh, Hunter, they're all going to hate me. Ongoing and persistent and Impact on well-being are literally just what's going on with her.

I don't think I have to point out that the website says nothing about just giving up on someone who is going through this. Granted, Lily says the others should be confronting her more, but she follows that up almost immediately by saying Amity should break-up with her. To me, the connotation is clear: just wash your hands clean of this one, time to move on.

I swear, Lily, the more I examine your media takes, the more I wonder about things I hear about your real life. I understand it can be difficult if it starts to become damaging to your own mental health, but there is no sign it's doing that with any of Luz's friends. Lily, if you just wash your hands of someone because they are going through something and aren't as fun to be around, they aren't the toxic one.

You are.

As for confronting Luz: Maybe. Maybe, if they were aware of the time in school when she indirectly wishes she'd never been born. I don't have any reason to believe they are, though. None of them are around and the teacher and other kids don't react much. It could be because she does kind of revert to that, sheepish, was I doing something strange? behavior after. Just the weird kid being weird in their minds.

If they'd seen that, sure ask her if she needs to talk or something. I'm sure Luz would just put them off. Say she's fine. Maybe they'd keep a closer eye on her. I can't see much more coming from such a talk, though.

I have a feeling you mean more than that. Like what? Give her an ultimatum? Shake her? Again, the others do show concern for her state. Her mother talked to her and comforted her when she came to her room to sleep. Amity wants to find the Titan's Blood before telling Luz because she gets that Luz was upset about their attempt at a portal door not working.

I'm not going to really entertain the idea of a breakup here. No reason to argue why it wouldn't happen. It's silly to think it should. Amity's reactions to Luz being down is normal, I think. It's fine that Amity is concerned about her. It's fine that she tries to be upbeat and thinks of fun couple costume ideas and such.

She cares about her and believes in her. So does everyone else.

Besides that, Luz is functioning. She's getting up every morning. She's getting dressed. Going to school. She helps the others trying to get a door to work. She goes out dancing with Amity in the rain. She seems to be eating, showering, etc. She goes with the gang to get new clothes. She agrees to Amity's couple costume and goes with the others to the Halloween event.

Heck, she's in the situation with Hunter at the graveyard, because she was helping Hunter with the "seeing Belos thing." She uses her Glyphs to find the Titan's Blood. She helps fight Belos when he possesses Hunter. She's the one that catches Flapjack and is ready to dive in to get Hunter before her mother does it instead.

Her mother has to move her aside, because she's still being proactive.

And after all that, after all that guilt and drama, it takes just the slightest bit of understanding from her friends, a little encouragement from her mother, and the tiniest of nudges from her girlfriend for her to agree to, at least, go back long enough to get her friends safely back to their families and possibly confront Belos.

She's not better. Not after her friends learn the truth and encourage her to keep fighting. Not after her first talk with her mother. Not after the second one that unlocks her Palisman. She's not ready to take the step of forgiving herself.

That's why she has the nightmare she does at the beginning of episode 3.

The Collector clearly is using things personal to the individuals he's playing with. Now, it might seem like he got info from other puppets, other sources, but I think he got information just from King, Eda, and Luz and used that as like a pool of metaphorical building blocks to construct their personal nightmares.

Take note. That room King wakes up in in his dream? Yeah, King never saw that room in the episode it was in. Luz did.

This also explains why Amity flubbed her line. Luz is absolutely right. Amity would know it was duel not battle. So, would Luz. Granted it could be Amity fighting back, but it sure looks like Luz realizing it's not her and messing with her by poking at her and so on that breaks her out. Like Luz realizing it wasn't real broke the dream for a bit.

If that's the case, he didn't get that info from either of them, and none of his other puppets would have read those books. Remember, Amity is literally the only other person to even buy one of those books. Only a handful of other people even know they exist.

So, who would have read those books but isn't an obsessed nerd who knows them word for word and might be young enough to not understand the difference between duel and battle?

King. He's read them. He says so at the end of Edge of the World, the same episode where Luz saw that room. The collector learned about the Azura books from King either before this game of nightmares, or while setting it up.

The above wasn't a random tangent. I'm trying to set up the thought that The Collector used knowledge he pooled from them collectively to build the world of his nightmare game, but zeroed in on their individual worst fears to play with them. The reactions of Luz's friends in her nightmare shows she's not yet ready to forgive herself and her fear that they either didn't, or at least shouldn't, have forgiven her so quickly.

See, you can get this kind of insight by actually paying attention to what a story is doing, rather than complaining about what it's not doing, Lily.

Luz is not ready to forgive herself and all the reassurances from her friends and family aren't going to do it for her. What does it take for her to reach that step?

Well, what was it that she wanted? What thing did she really want that finally brought her Palisman to life? To be understood?

And who understood making a large mistake while trying to help?

The Titan. He gave her the last nudge. Until then, she really felt like she was as bad as Belos. She even says as much. She can't really argue when he says all her negative feelings aren't true. He would know. He's gone through the same thing.

As always, my opinion.

Notice though, that she got through all that without any of her friends and family confronting her more often and without Amity breaking up with her. Neither of those things would have helped either, because neither is what she needed. They may even have made it worse.

Deep down, she may even have known what she needed on a sub-conscious level.

What was it she said to the The Collector?

"People are complex and sometimes they just need a little kindness and forgiveness."

Yeah.

[dayseedrawz2]

Today on Daysee gives In to the voices in her head...

a TADC fic based on a silly dream I had! :D

This is just gonna be some indulgent shipping stuffs

Specifically Abstragedy, bunnydoll and showtime (And Platonic Kinger and Pomni because episode 3 shattered my being)

Could this be seen as Pre-Ring-Misstress??? Maaayyyybbeeeeeeee.....

(Sidenote, this is unrelated to the Old body swap comic that I did. Buuut if that's what you want, do let me know! Maybe I'll write something about it in the future!!)

Enjoy!!

[Swap shenanigans | a TADC One-shot fic!]

It was a typical day in the Amazing Digital Circus. Well, as typical as it could get. Nothing was ever exactly normal, with the ringmaster always giving the gang wacky quests and all. But as of recently, things were different. The crew was standing around waiting for Caine's inevitable arrival.

☆Good morning, my superstars!!☆

The cast collectively groaned.

☆Huh... tough crowd today, I see? Well not to worry! Today's just going to be a simple in-house adventure!☆

▪︎Oh really? Lemme guess, the intelligently advanced AI is running out of ideas??▪︎

Jax questioned Caine sarcastically. The ringmaster laughed.

☆Me? Out of ideas? Ha! Of course not. Though, this wasn't mine. I planned this with the help of a friend!☆

He turned towards Pomni, which prompted everyone else to do the same. The Jester could do nothing but force a smile and shyly wave.

□Oh? Well... sounds like fun! ...what are we waiting for?□

Ragatha slowly said, just wanting to get on with it.

☆Of course, my button-eyed friend! Let's get on with the adventure!!☆

With a snap of his fingers... nothing happened. Or so it seemed, until Caine's voice came from Pomni's mouth.

☆We've dubbed this adventure "The Body swap"! We will be stuck in each others models for the next 24 hours! Just so there's no confusion, Gangle has swapped with Zooble, Jax has swapped with Ragatha, Kinger has swapped with Bubble, And (as you could probably already tell) Pomni has swapped with Me!☆

Zooble looked down at they're now Ribbon-y body and back up at the ringmaster.

◇...What's the catch?◇

Pomni struggled to adapt to Caine's fight controls. Her feet eventually met the ground and she walked over to the rest of the group.

♧The catch? There is none. When Caine granted me permission to help him out with certain things, I wanted to let you guys off easy. He still wanted to mix things up, so we made a compromise.♧

☆Everyone just have fun-!☆

Caine stumbled as he attempted to meet Pomni's side. He let out a loud 'oomph' as his face met the floor.

♧Oh- uh- here.♧

She lended him his cane. He managed to prop himself up with it, the limbs of his temporary body still shaking.

☆I, uh- Thank you, my dear...☆

The ringmaster rubbed the side of his new face. He looked away from the others, hoping they couldn't see the excitement forming in his code. However, now that he was no longer a floating pair of eyes and teeth, anyone could see how flushed his face was. Thankfully, not all of them noticed.

Zooble stared at Gangle, who now occupied their body. They stared at her, confused. She seemed content. Well, at least more than usual. She seemed okay with it. But why couldn't they be? Zooble stared down at themselves, now in Gangles body. It wasn't much, but at least it wasn't the same brightly colored jumbled mess that it normally was.

◇...I guess this isn't so b-◇

Jax swung his now ragdoll-like leg and kicked Zooble onto the floor. They became a pile of ribbon and shattered porcelain on the ground.

▪︎Ha! You're even weaker than usual, Zoobie!▪︎

They lifted a ribbon hand weakly but dropped it in frustration and defeat as Jax walked away. Gangle whimpered seeing them like that.

□Hey, that wasn't very nice!□

Ragatha looked down at Jax in disapproval.

Jax continued to mock her. Bubble, occupying Kinger's Model, stood in front of both of them.

▪︎Oh really? My bad. How out of character for me! "Hi, I'm Ragatha! I'm such a pushover! Oh no! Don't be mean! Being mean is mean!" Is that better??▪︎

□Cmon, now, lighting up. It's not so bad!□

°○So... witch one is it?○°

▪︎Huh? What're you talking about?▪︎

°○Are you acting out just to act out, or because you're not the tallest anymore? OR, is it because you're dressed like a girl now??○°

Ragatha covered her mouth with her hand and giggled.

□Heh, maybe Bubble is right! Is he?□

Jax stammered.

▪︎I- no-! you- Shut up...▪︎

He stomped to his room, frustrated.

Gangle struggled to untagle Zooble with their body's strange hands, but she managed to get them upright and pick up the fragments of her mask on the floor.

~I'm... I'm sorry about that...~

She avoided looking at Zooble, afraid how they would respond.

◇...It's fine, don't worry about me.◇

Gangle looked up at them.

~You mean... you aren't upset?~

◇You know how he is. I'm just glad it wasn't you this time.◇

Gangle smiled sincerely. She double-checked the floor for all the scattered masks peices.

~I'm... gonna go fix this. You can come... if you want.~

◇Sure. Got nothing better to do.◇

The pair left to the hallway together.

Caine wandered the Circus interior alone. He relied a little bit less on his cane, but he still used it to walk around. He stumbled upon Pomni and Kinger, together near the stage. She had placed kinger into a bucket of soapy water.

♧Okay, I'm just gonna leave you in here for a while. I don't wanna risk popping you. I'll check on you in a but, okay?♧

She placed another bucket on top of the one Kinger was in so he could be secluded in darkness. His voice echoed from the inside.

+Wow, so this is how it feels to be a water bug!+

♧... yeah, just let me know if you need anything alright? Alright, uh, have fun!♧

Now that she was alone, she could finally get a good hang of these flight controls. She had only ever floated against her will when Caine would drag her places. She flailed around for a while, but she slowly got used to it. ...Until she was startled by a familiar voice and flew into a wall.

☆Testing the flying mechanics, I see?☆

She peeled herself off the wall and met Caine at eye level.

♧...you could say that.♧

She rubbed her shoulder.

☆Allow me to help! I could use a break from all this walking myself.☆

♧But won't you just fall?♧

☆Oh, no! I've done it with you multiple times, remember? Just pull me up there with you, and I won't, trust me!☆

He stretched out his arm towards hers. There was a small amount of hesitation, but she reached for it and pulled him into the air with her. Letting go, he still stayed airborne. He spun in place and cheered.

☆Whoohoo!! Now that's more like it!!☆

Pomni chuckled at the sight of his enthusiasm. She joined and twirled around a bit herself. It was rather relaxing not having a crisis or being chased by a monster for once... it was just the two of them having fun.

They laughed and danced in the air for hours. Caine looked at Pomni. He lit up at the sight of her actually enjoying herself for once. He was greatful to have met a circus member like her. Someone so smart, and thoughtful, and kind, and comes up with the best adventures!

☆My dear, I must say, you really outdid yourself. This was a great idea!!☆

He paused his arial tricks and met Pomni's gaze.

♧Me..? All I said was to make things more mundane. You thought up most of this.♧

☆Well, of course, but I wouldn't have without your input!☆

♧Please, I-♧

Caine planted his hand on her shoulder firmly.

☆My dear, you have an amazing mind. And a big heart, too. You shouldn't take that for granted.☆

Pomni froze. She never thought Caine could give genuine words of affirmation. Granted, it was weird to hear it coming from her own mouth, but it touched her none the less.

♧I... thank you...♧

The words barely managed to escape her throat. She could only give attention to the fact that Caine's hand still lingered on her shoulder. Caine noticed her glancing to the side. He quickly realized what he had been doing and removed his hand.

☆Oh- no problem, my dear...☆

God why do human faces overheat so much...

+Can I come out now?+

Pomni had forgotten about Kinger. She quickly flew over and removed the top bucket so he could escape.

♧Kinger! Could you uh... do us a favor and go check up on the others? I bet you Jax has caused some mayhem by now...♧

+Oh, of course! See ya later, Pomni!+

Kinger floated off toward the hallway, presumably where everyone else had gone. Pomni's attention immediately went back to the ringmaster.

☆Do... you maybe wanna do flying lessons another time? Yaknow, minus the body swap thing..?☆

Pomni nodded her head.

♧Sure... that would be nice...♧

☆Well then, I'll let you go! Until tomorrow, my dear!☆

Pomni left to her room, where she would sleep through the night, and the next day would be normal.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

...

Okay yeah this kinda just became a Pre-Ring-Misstress fic-

Anywayyy, uhh thanks for reading I guess.

Imma add this to the R-M fic masterpost because yes-

Also I need to eep now-

[skunkes]

I know this might not be a fun thing to think about but have you tried actually considering jobs you'd like to do someday and how you'd work towards them? You talk about art a lot but frankly I'd never recommend turning your single hobby into a career. I know it sounds silly but take some quizzes (not like BuzzFeed. Long quizzes on .orgs) on the subject and look over the results. Maybe you'll find a goal you can move towards outside of just leaving home, which only sometimes seems to make you happy. Personally I started going to college late (community college is wonderful and easy to afford if you're low income because of pell grants) with the goal of working towards a full time job that wouldn't make me want to die. Rn I work part-time, which you may also be able to get away with if you have roommates! It's a bullshit job but since I'm moving towards something it really helps me keep my head up!

Yes and no! Ive never wanted an art career even as a kid which is why its been so hard um for the entire rest of my life. I want an office job but thats very vague and i dont know anything more specific other than i dont want to be in charge of people or more important things LMAO

every job here pays $8/hr so if i had to go to work AND still live here id kms. Id still have 0 time for anything with my dad demanding my time not spent at work. Theres some opportunities kinda there out of town for me rn with some friends' help but idk if im equipped to survive, and its also scary bc i have no plan for an After (if i did get any of the jobs ykwim. Like if i got laid off or didnt like it id have to come back home i guess bc idk what else id want to do After. I have 0 clue on what im ever going to do...)

In summary: i have looked into it...! All i ever do is look up jobs and careers and experiences on reddit then i tear my hair out because nothing sounds tolerable or achievable and even with a specific degree the entry level job you need to spend years working in before you barely start making a livable wage might not ever hire you and thats usually when i make panic vent posts about how i have 0 future 😭 the potential stuff im looking into sounds tolerable but idk how much it pays yet...and then well all the stuff i mentioned about the loneliness and escalating of life difficulty for no real reason

[yanban-san]

eldritch twins has so much potential.

Cause I’m just picturing Elesa trying to cautiously teach them human customs, and then it gets to ‘courting’ and like, humans have many many different ways, so she tries to think of the basics.

“Oh they keep up really good hygiene to be more presentable! Like trying out new scents and stuff, though they can also just do that for work.”

But they stopped listening at the first half and so the next time their darling walks in they go “oh? New scent? GASP! DARLING IS TRYING TO COURT US! OH BELOVED WAIT!-“ and the struggle to get a feather and scale off respectively.

Meanwhile that morning their soulmate was just “I did buy some new body lotion, and it smells amazing, eh might as well.”

Poor Elesa who states something so clearly but these two monster men are just ‘I heard courting habits/rituals and that’s all that matters.’

- noodle

jdakshl I took this in a slightly different direction but I think you will like it :)

CW: Long, Poly, Demon/Monster Submas AU, Deredere Yanderes

Though I like the idea of Darling after starting to date them just tries out some new scents with the intention of finding one the Twins like and they go nuts when Darling is asking if they like it, both of them trying to find another suitable gift to give their darling-

Elesa sighed, rubbing her temples as she sat back in the plush leather chair the twins had prepared for her. Emmet pacing around the room, and Ingo leaning against his desk, unsure of how they’d managed to give Elesa a migraine this time around.

“Miss Eles-”

“Be quiet for a minute,” She hissed, keeping her eyes closed in silent meditation- And shooshing Emmet again. Maybe, just maybe, she thought, if she wished for it hard enough, she’d wake up back in her apartment and find all of this had been a bad dream; That she hadn’t spent the past three afternoons trying to explain human customs to these two demons, whose current plants involved running a train station in some roundabout way to win your heart; Though, they had to admit, trains were very cool in their own right. Elesa had thought the two to be simply adorable when she learned this had all started from trying to make you love them- Simply seeing you happy brought them such joy, they were more than happy to give you anything you asked for, to grant your every wish!

Elesa thought it cute; innocent, sweet, lovey-dovey, a fairy-tale romance come true-

And soon those adjectives would be dropped from her vocabulary entirely, when she’d heard their future plans to get you to love them.

Their plans included all sorts of absolutely wonderful ideas- such as gaslighting you, kidnapping you, brainwashing you, murdering any vermin who might try to deceive you, stealing away your heart with their lies- In other words, anyone who might try to date you- Or perhaps they would engage in their own kind’s displays of affection- To offer you the head of some fool who dared to insult or disrespect you would be a delightful honor to them, and surely humans would have some similar customs, correct? Or maybe you’d prefer these fools to fall to the ground, swearing eternal fealty to you for having committed such egregious transgressions against you- And they’d already erased some existences that had dared to try to hurt or insult you before. Though they hadn’t gotten to mention the nicer and far sweeter rituals of courting they had, before Elesa interrupted them with an excessively long-winded admonishment of how terrible everything they had planned was; Ordering them both to forget anything and everything they knew about their own customs and ideas and promising them that she’d definitely convince you to love them so please-do-not-resort-to-whatever-the-hell-you-two-were-originally-thinking, stuttering the words out as quickly as she could to ensure the two idiots understood and obeyed.

And they had, of course, gotten bored after no less than three hours of “discussion” on their ideas- It was silly of Miss Elesa to try to correct them! They were above such human ideas of things like “morality”- And they were fine playing human- They insisted. But the laws that bound their existences in this realm made it impossible for them to just take you. They needed to hear it from you first-That you loved them. That you wanted them. And truth be told? The  thought excited them more than anything- A human willingly becoming their bride- How lovely, how lovely! What a fairy-tale among their kind, too. Human soulmates were defective- and were often abused and treated as livestock by their demonic companion, as humans didn’t feel the desire or obsession that resulted from the condition of having a soulmate, and the demon had no desire to wait or explain anything; Just to have their soulmate as quickly as possible, safely in their embrace and away from any prying eyes or danger. They could just keep their human pet bound up for their own amusement, and sleeping in a pleasant dream to keep them from suffering or hating the demon- Lost in falsehoods and fantasies, unaware- Yet also painfully aware of the waking nightmare that engulfed them.

But Ingo and Emmet had seen how such cruelty to half of the soul-bind had wasted away at their kind- turning into wretched ghosts of themselves. Living, but at what cost? Unending suffering for human and aberration alike.

They were nervous and worried that they might frighten you, or hurt you again, after what happened when you summoned them- They were so desperate to see you love them-

And also of the fear that you might reject them. Oh, how that would hurt- And the two refused to even begin to explain what they would do if you should turn them down and refuse their affections; But the dark look that clouded both their eyes made Elesa shiver.

And hence why they endured the bothersome nonsense of the little mortal before them, listening intently- waiting for her to divulge the knowledge and wisdom she claimed to possess.

Elesa leaned back in her chair.

“So, you guys want to know… about... dating.”

“…Courting.” Ingo returned, looking at Elesa warily. “Dating comes after courtship, does it not?”

“Well, that is- I guess they mean the same thing, Humans have a lot of different… ways they can engage in... In courtship, It’s a little difficult to explain,” Elesa tried to answer, but really- Where was she even supposed to begin? She was primarily concerned about them hurting others while attempting to court you- Or murdering them- Or any other number of horrible things that Elesa didn’t even want to begin to imagine.

“I am sure there must be some basics, Miss Elesa. Could you not explain to us some… signs, or something- We are not even sure if our little beloved loves us back, truth be told- And reading minds is quite a difficult feat.”

Elesa’s attention snapped to those last words. “You can read minds?”

Ingo could tell by her tone this was not a good thing. “Well, technically- But humans-”

“Absolutely no mind reading no matter what do you understand me, not to me, not to your beloved, not to anyone- Got it?”

Ingo’s tired eyes met Elesa’s- bright and indignant and practically sparking with fear and anger. Ingo sighed.

There was nothing worth reading in her mind, anyway. Her thoughts, like so many other humans, were scattered and varied and cacophonous- a din of firing neurons that was more like trying to listen in on every conversation in a crowded mall at once- And 99 out of every 100 was screaming about something either inappropriate, insane, or inane. And finding out what the human’s mind was actually focused on was even harder.

“Very well, Miss Elesa. We will not engage in any mind reading.” Ingo didn’t feel like explaining it to her right now- Perhaps later.

Emmet stopped pacing. “Yes yes- We will not do that- But, how do we tell if our darling likes us?” He collapsed onto the office sofa, tired of the other two constantly derailing onto other topics.

“W-Well, I suppose...” And she began to think again. “Well, uh- If you’re trying to get someone to notice you... Sometimes they’ll do things like try out new outfits, or dress nicer if they’re going to see you.”

“But Darling works here- They must wear the uniform of Gear Station. How would they dress differently?”

“Hmm, I guess not that then- Maybe they wear ribbons in their hair? Haircut? Bracelet? Jewelry?”

Emmet’s smile widened. “Ah! We shall look out for such changes.”

“Oh! Another thing I can think of- Personal grooming! If you like someone, you’ll take more time to make yourself nice for when you go to see them! They might try out some new soaps, new perfumes... All sorts of things; styling their hair differently, making sure their breath smells good- you know, stuff like that? Though, to be honest, that’s also a bit of a "for work” thing as well- Lot of people like to make themselves extra nice for work-”

“Splendid!” Emmet interrupted, clapping his hands together.

“Wait a second-” Elesa interrupted, but faltered- They weren’t paying attention anymore.

The twins shared a glance to one another; Quite a satisfactory answer! And perhaps they could try out some of those things as well... Darling seemed to like certain hairstyles on men- Perhaps they could change their hair a bit... Or maybe find one of these perfumes for themselves- Something you’d like?

“But what sort of scents would Darling like?” Ingo wondered aloud- Neither of them smelled much like anything, they thought. And what would Darling like for them to wear?

“Oh, I’d love to help with that! I can ask them about it during our next coffee hang out,” Elesa was already thinking of the dozens of scent samples she’d received from perfumeries- Especially for all the commercials she’d done over her career. And finally! Some normal progress with these two abominable monsters from beyond the edge of reality.

And the twin demons now had something to look out for about you! Emmet tried to recall- your hair always smelled of either flowers or fruits. He'd just have to take note of your scent from now on.

---

Of course, you were happily unaware of any secret plots to analyze your shampoo and/or other bathing product choices while you were doing your shopping later that evening- You were out of a lot of your favorite bath products- So why not stock up on some while you were here? And maybe-

Maybe you'd try something different. New.

You grabbed a bottle of some tea tree conditioner; Some stronger stuff was good to use every now and again, right?

And you used it the next morning- the scent was strong, you realized- but not necessarily unpleasant? Minty. Pungently minty.

And the twins could smell it the moment you walked into the access tunnels.

"Good morning, Station Masters!" You saluted them, standing as straight as you could with your heels together as they both walked over; Emmet had some sort of tablet in his hands, and Ingo had a clipboard- You recognized it as the morning safety checklist. By the time you got in, according to an engineer, there was a broken... energetic lattice generator inside an engine? It sounded quite sci-fi, you thought; but also interesting! The trains of Gear Station were a modern marvel of engineering and scientific ingenuity;

Or at least, that's what you thought. To Emmet and Ingo, it was just a way for their Servitors to inform their masters of potential breaches in security or problems caused by magical interference, without revealing to the general populace and you that the trains were, well, yes, while technically complex mechanical devices, they were powered by some arcane wellspring of energy that Joltiks went utterly insane for. The actual engines inside of them were physically impossible to exist- And if any human engineer tried to comprehend or rebuild the engines they’d be unable to or probably driven mad. Perpetual motion machines were not something that should’ve been able to exist in this universe, after all.

But none of that mattered for now! You were here! And- And you smelled different-

"Good morning!" Ingo shouted- his voice always so loud and distinct against the growing mechanical din of trains starting up and stopping and clunking and bumping and mechanical whirrs and grinding noises, and Emmet motioned you closer and the two dragged you away from the maintenance annex, into a quieter tunnel.

Oh, you were quite pretty today! Your outfit was as sharp as ever, and your smile so bright- Ingo put his arm across your back more than once- stopping just short of grabbing you, as much as he wanted to- And Emmet forcefully restrained his arms behind his back while they walked with you towards their office. Surprisingly, none of the other Depot Agents were following you yet, you noticed.

Of course, the Agents knew not to interfere with their bosses when they were with... you.

But the two were excited for another reason, aside from getting to be alongside their beloved, beautiful, darling-

The scent. It was different. Very different.

A sign you liked them, right? You were wearing the scent for them, right? Right?

You removed your cap for a second, brushing back your hair- and a new wave of the strangely minty scent hit them both. It was certainly different from what you normally wore, Ingo thought- And your hair was so pretty, he just wanted to run his hands through it, to gently caress you- Emmet was staring at you- licking his lips and leaning in a little too close- And Ingo shoved him back glaringly. No. They had to make sure, right?

Ingo would strike up conversation with you- Already planning out how to weave the question of the new scent into a natural conversation, to find out if you really were wearing it for them- That would be so sweet, though he did think he preferred the scents of flowers and fruits on you- But if you’d thought of them, trying to impress them- trying to court them-

Ingo needed to know. His feet were trailing shadows and pools of dark voids while he walked, his mouth curling into a little grin- And he went to ask you, tentatively, how you were doing this morning-

“Are you wearing a new perfume?” Emmet interjected. Ingo faltered, glaring daggers at his younger twin.

You blushed- Was the scent really that intense? “O-Oh, no, It must be the new hair conditioner I tried that you’re smelling- It’s awfully minty, isn’t it? I don’t know if I quite like the scent.”

Blush. You were blushing! How cute! They could hear your heartbeat in your chest- increasing rapidly. You, of course, were just embarrassed that the tea tree conditioner was obviously so intense that your bosses could not only smell it, but were commenting on it-

“It is not bad,” Ingo added, trying to calm you down. Ingo could smell it too? It must’ve been really intense. “...Are you trying out new hair products for any particular reason?”

Both of them looked at you- Leaning into your space ever so slightly, waiting for your answer with bated breaths.

“No reason! Really!” You answered honestly. “I just- It was a more intense hair cleanser than normal, and I thought... I could... use a change...” You trailed off. Sinnoh above, this was embarrassing- Scentless hair wash next time. Who knew your bosses had the noses of Poochyenas?

Or maybe it was really intense and bad. You adjusted your hat on your head. Hopefully you could mask it? Or better yet, you knew Agent Jackie needed you- You could run off and seclude yourself in some office doing desk work for the day, avoiding your bosses and smelling pungently minty-fresh in some forgotten corner of Gear Station!

“I’m terribly sorry, Ingo and Emmet- But- uh, Jackie- My supervisor for today- he uh, asked me to report to him for my daily tasks! I just remembered I was supposed to report to him first thing this morning, sorry!” And before they could stop you, you’d run off.

The twins were quite upset when you managed to scurry away- Had Elesa lied to them? Was this a human way of saying- No, it couldn’t be-

Had you tried the new hair conditioner for someone else...? Ingo bit his thumb at the thought, hard enough to draw blood, turning black and shadowy at exposure to the air. Emmet stopped his incessant pacing, his hands twitching uncomfortably and inhumanly.

Absolutely not. They wouldn’t allow you- How dare you- No, no they couldn’t think that! You were simply confused- You only loved them- You couldn’t love someone else- Could you?

They’d get to the bottom of this- No matter what! Your supervising Agent was about to receive a new order for the day- Find out if you were going to see anyone later, no matter what- And also find out why you were wearing the strange hair scent- Oh, they wouldn’t be letting you leave Gear Station today if you really were looking forward to meeting someone else- They’d have to put a stop to that immediately!

And Elesa, meanwhile, had returned to her gym- Quietly thinking to herself while she awaited the arrival of a new challenger.

“I could’ve explained that stuff better,” She thought- But man, had she been exhausted today- “The way I said that stuff about perfumes... I hope they don’t start thinking that person is like, proposing to them just because they used Strawberry scented shampoo instead of coconut today or something- Nah, of course they wouldn’t be so dumb as to-”

She stopped.

On second thought- 

She began furiously dialing her X-transceiver.

[jess-the-vampire]

Sooooo whatya think of the new episodeee?

Oh it’s definitely my favorite episode of the series so far, i was having such a good time at every turn. I’m glad i went out of my way to avoid spoilers, cause i was glad to actually be surprised by some elements on first watch.

I think this had by far the best opening for an episode so far, we finally get back to the villians, we meet the coven heads, we get insight on belos’s plans-

and then belos gets constipated, which starts getting into the more character driven lore, which is the best part. You instantly can tell GG and Kiki have some bit of tension between them to be Belo’s favorite, though granted i wonder if hunter is the only one to know belos is cursed and actually just always insists to help belos with his fits to prevent others from seeing them.

Including kiki.

It’s honestly unclear how aware anyone is that belos is cursed, like him eating pailsmans is apparently not something he hides, but like....i feel him being cursed is something that people would know universally if it got out...so i’m left wondering if anyone knows besides hunter.

Regardless, belos turns into a goop monster with an angry side, and i guess his mask doesn’t transform with him compared to the rest of his body so he breaks it again because i guess he goes though masks like crazy.

Hunter turns away in this scene from his outburst and even though he’s masked here i can already tell he’s most likely pained in these scenes. Like he’s probably seen this happen so many times, and i can’t imagine it gets any easier for him, it’s probably awful to watch belos suffer like this for him (Regardless of the abuse)

And to be honest, it seems pretty painful for him, i think this ep seems to at least confirm whatever this thing is that takes over belos’s body.....belos never actually wanted it in the first place. 

Yeah so after Hunter tells belos there’s not enough trees to medicate him anymore, we’re hit with the “UNCLE”. Which, when i first watched it i needed a second to even process the fact they confirmed their relation.

and i was like “CLOSE ENOUGH”, not his kid but uncle still works just fine for me, i’m just happy my assumption they were related actually came to ahead.

And i rewatched this episode a few times, and on second watch i realized more what happened in this scene. Hunter was talking about his interest in wild magic, and making more pailsman to help belos, and some method that could heal him and as soon as belos looked at him he instantly shut down.

He was clearly rambling about wild magic cures for belos because of his interest in it, and then suddenly remembered his uncle hates wild magic and felt super awkward.

It seems highly likely his interest in wild magic came from trying to cure belos and spending a lot of time reading up on the stuff. 

And then we get hit with the whole “Our family is dead because of wild magic” line, which.....i’m curious to know what happened there. But it does at least explain why belos feels how he does, if wild magic both killed his family beside hunter AND cursed him in the first place. We’re just gonna need more info on what exactly happened.

Also while Belos is def abusive and does not treat hunter how he should, this scene actually does read off to me like belos does care about hunter to some degree. If belos is cursed and his curse works in similar ways to how Eda’s curse works, then it’s worth reminding ppl that eda mentions early this season how stress can amplify the curse even more.

And sure enough, belos goes goopy on hunter’s shoulder all of a sudden when he grasps him. Which could be considered a sign of stress and that the idea of hunter dying or being in danger actually does stress him.

You could very much also assume this is just due to his curse not being fully handled and just getting worse, or that belos only cares about hunter for selfish reasons....but i’m not taking anything off the table here.

Belos can still be a shitty uncle, and still care about hunter, these aren’t mutually exclusive traits. But we need more episodes for now on this.

But anyways he asks hunter if he can rely on him, kiki is pissed......and we move on.

So i’m glad luz’s impulsiveness is addressed a ton in this episode, they actually bring up a lot of good points. That luz has no plan, that the time she’s spending here might render moot if she goes back to earth, ect ect.

Hunter even calls her out a lot later for not thinking things through, it’s a whole deal in this episode. I’m glad it was brought up cause it’s actually worth asking a lot of these things.

the set up here works, they actually made a good reason for why a pailsman didn’t bond with her. Speaking of which the adoption thing is cute and i love it, it’s a great idea. The designs are all very cute and fun.

Bump face reveal was a lot for me to process, but i find the idea of his pailsman being a pet that can help with his disabilities a good idea.

Also like, i did find it odd that they got staffs so early because we’ve never seen kids their ages with them before, but i guess it’s a new tradition? Does everyone at hexside now have one?

Honesty not sure why batqueen left the nest there overnight, i meant i guess she assumed they were safe with that shield but in context i dunno why she didn’t take them home after the school day was over.

but whatever, luz stays there overnight hoping  a pailsman will bond with her and GG just kidnapps them cause of pure luck on his part a bunch of pailsman were in a vulnerable spot tonight.

So GG continues to be charming, by whistling the theme song and then being blasted off his ship hilariously, before cockily teleporting himself right back on it seconds later. Like he and luz have great banter, he’s so extra like this it’s so funny, and god he’s so FAST with that staff it’s scary but so awesome.

Yeah so then hand dragon crashes them and i was so excited cause it meant face reveal. Poor dude looked so in pain and then we find out kiki tried to effing murder him because of course she did. But like, i think killing your boss’s nephew is the WORST way to get a promotion tbh.

(Also i got confused for a bit cause his mask has always been drawn as a mask, but now it’s a helmet in this scene for whatever reason but-)

Anyways, face reveal, Like honestly ppl weren’t too far off with their guesses, really the only thing people didn’t get was the tooth gap (That was fair tho, we couldn’t have guessed that). But it did make him even cuter.

like the banter is funny, he licks her hand, she slaps him, he looks SO pissed at her for this mess.

and i guess that outfit is his under armor apparently.

He’s lucky she didn’t run away immediately and followed him, but maybe he assumed she would since she had no where else to go.

Also his expressions in this ep are glorious, these had to be fun to draw.

Also we find out that the coven team members have never seen his face i guess? They just assume he’s a silly kid and are awful to him, so i guess he’s not only the youngest member of the coven but he never really shows his face much.

(”Call your parents”, ha ha.....whose gonna tell them who his uncle is?)

He is however, REALLY good at parkour and he’s fast even without his staff, so he’s well trained alright.

And then they reveal he’s not magical and i was SO happy cause i was so sure something was up when he wasn’t doing magic like the other witches despite his pointy ears. So they outright confirmed what i thought.

Hunter is pretty smart tho, like he can tell luz wouldn’t hurt him and wouldn’t flee so he knows he has the high ground here. Like he might be being a bit of a dick, but to be fair luz has been nothing but a dick to him throughout the whole episode (Everyone in this episode has been a dick to him tbh)

They team up and i get excited cause i love this kinda stuff and it gets more wholesome because hunter is super interested in her magic, he thinks it’s cool and you can tell how much he actually loves wild magic but then again...shuts himself down because of belos making him fear the stuff.

An then because luz asks, he tells her his backstory.

honestly with how this world treats people who aren’t magically powerful, living and growing up in a world that would find you useless sounds....awful. Hunter must be an anomaly around here, human blood or not.

Luz coming here to learn is different then growing up in a world and being the only one with no abilities and no future without them. Belos provides him with magic and a future, it’s no wonder he stays with him despite everything.

the whole “Found me” thing is weird, cause belos implies they’re blood related and hunter makes it sound like belos semi-adopted him. Which....if he did i dunno why “Uncle” and not “Adopted dad”, but ok....guess that’s for later.

Apparently hunter is important for something tho with the “Titan has big plans for me” thing, not sure what, but-

But yeah as soon as Hunter talked about wanting to make his own future and Rascal tried to land on him i knew EXACTLY where this was going, it was so cuteeeeee. The lil birb wanted to be with hunter, that’s so wholesome.

And he’s so terrified because of belos and what wild magic did to him, the poor bab.

But yeah, luz then trusts him with his staff back, because again....impulsive. But hunter does actually ask if she’s sure, so he might as well be asking if she trusts him.

The plan goes ahead, and hunter nearly betrays her.

though granted, hunter never promised her he’d stop and let her take them away, the truce was supposed to last till kiki was stopped and they were gonna fight out who got the pailsman. But it does bother luz cause she was hopeful he was better then this.

But just like he did before, she calls him out and he doesn’t betray her, because he’s ALSO too nice to do it, just like he said she was. He says his name (Which also took a moment to process), and then beats the crap out of kiki while letting luz get away and protecting her like a badass.

He might not have magic, but he’s good at fighting

like he can easily teleport to luz and take the pailsman, but he doesn’t, he lets them get away and luz knows this. Even though she also knows hunter has to go back to the emperor too and they have to separate.

It’s only slightly bitter terms, because in the end he came through for her and she knows it.

honestly, the worst part is i can’t even be mad at hunter for it, i’m sure he was terrified to fail belos. Both because he loves him and doesn’t want him to suffer....but also because of well...being punished. Really says something when his near betrayal doesn’t even make me mad at him, and i can understand why he nearly did it.

He let her go, knowing he’d be in SERIOUS trouble and that it would hurt someone he actually loves, so....ouch.

so yeah at this point i knew rascal wanted him so it was only of matter of what happened next.

Which was, luz getting the wood, which i like more anyway. Eda and King doing this offscreen and coming home like this is actually very funny, and honestly i appreciate the message of it being ok to wait.....means a lot to me.

yeah so belos is like...being an ass, like the kid tried his hardest, you don’t need to hit him with the “Is this the thanks i get?”. He’s a kid and he’s trying to cure you you dick, give him a break he doesn’t remotely have to help you like this.

Also apparently belos has not even told hunter HOW this happened, like...dude. Hunter is trying to be entirely reasonable here and belos spikes at him, which does imply some physical abuse though the only reason hunter doesn’t get a new scar is because he moves.

but how he reacts implies this has happened before, he is bracing for impact and he flinches. It’s pretty sad tbh, especially since hunter loves him and belos’s respect means something to him.

Belos is such an idiot, like c’mon dude, hunter is trying to help you and you don’t listen to him you dick. Kid shouldn’t have to say sorry for anything he did nothing wrong, he was just trying to help.

Anyways, he gloats at kiki (So at the very least she knows what he looks like under the mask), which he deserves a chance to do anyway. So i guess he didn’t rat her out for trying to kill him, personally my guess why is blackmail.....he was gonna hold it over her head to keep her from doing it again and threaten to tell belos.

But kiki quickly tells he LET the pailsman get away since he was the one to fight her (Curse his cute loose hair strand). So i guess now they have dirt on each other, so that’s fun.

His room is adorable, though the med kit by the bed is concerning.

Rascal comes for him and it;s so cute....though you can tell hunter nearly hurts him on instinct because of force of habit, but it’s so cute how he cares and how the birb loves him and is his new staff.

it was well hinted to as well, it’s so subtle, but the bird being cheery, curious, and his constant habit of escaping boundaries was perfect for hunter. He represents what hunter wants to be and why they got matched is done so well, all without explaining anything.

Hunter indirectly stated his deepest wish, to make his own choices, and rascal resonated with that. 

can’t wait to see where this goes.

great ending shot, love me some conflicted shots looking out of windows like trapped birds.

also this title was a pun the whole time i can’t-

[kuroopaisen]

heartworm. (akaashi keiji)

➵ you miss akaashi more than anything. so if bokuto’s birthday party gives you an opportunity to reconnect, you’ll take it. 

wc: 2.8k

warnings: swearing

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto’s resounding chant seemed to rumble through the entire apartment.

“Hey, Bokuto,” you smiled, tilting your head at him.

“It’s great to see you!” He was beaming at you as he pulled you in for a hug, face flushed and hair all ruffled. You weren’t sure how many drinks he’d had, but you could tell by the colour of his cheeks that he wasn’t going to be standing upright for much longer.

You grinned up at him. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Thank you!” His voice boomed out of his chest – far too loud, considering the circumstances. But, you smiled nonetheless. That was Bokuto for you.

He ushered you inside before you had time to think, patting your shoulders as you stumbled through his landing room. His apartment wasn’t large by any means, but he sure had tried to stuff a lot of people in it.

There were some faces you recognized – old team members from Fukurodani, Yukie, Kaori… and it was easy enough to fall into the groove of conversation with them. Well, as best you could, given the noise.

True to form, Bokuto’s party was little more than pure chaos. Mostly led by Bokuto himself, in cahoots with some guy who looked a little like a rooster. And of course, it was fun to watch. But something about the cacophony and the crowd was making your heart beat a little faster. You weren’t feeling claustrophobic, per say, but you needed some fresh air.

You almost laughed at yourself for that. You’d been at this party, what? Twenty minutes? And you already needed a time out? But, you supposed that’s what tended to happen once you got to your second year of university. You felt more and more like an old crone each day.

That, and there was a notable absence from the revelry. You didn’t want to think about him – no, you wouldn’t think about him. But that didn’t shift the weight in your stomach.

Thank God Bokuto had a balcony. It was rather quaint and small, but it would do. Just a few minutes in the cold and the dark, and you’d be ready to socialise again.

You sighed, turning to step into the shadows next to the door.

“Keiji!” The name slipped out of you before you could contain yourself.

He looked up at you, cross-legged at the end of the balcony. An outsider might’ve mistaken his expression for apathy. But you could tell, from the slight raise of his eyebrow and the touch of softness to his eyes, that he was surprised. Whether your presence was a good or bad surprise was yet to be seen.

“Hey.”

You wanted to throw your arms around him. You wanted to bury your face in his chest. You wanted to tell him how much you’d missed him.

You did none of that.

“Long time no see,” you smiled, cursing yourself for the cliché.

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

God, he looked good. You’d forgotten just how good-looking he was – how had you forgotten? He made jeans and a plain shirt look stylish.

A quiet memory of you and Bokuto insisting he get into modelling came back to you. You’d been teasing him, of course, but there had been truth to it. Hell, you knew you’d buy something if Akaashi was the one selling it to you.

You swallowed, trying to focus on the situation at hand.

“Are you alright?” His voice was as soft as you remembered.

“Yeah,” you nodded,

“You sure about that?” one of his brows was raised ever so slightly. He could still see through you, huh?

“Honestly, I’m a little intimidated,” you chuckled softly, sitting yourself on the ground next to him. It was strange just how much that made you feel better – to be on the same level as him. “I don’t really know anyone here.”

“Me neither,” he tilted his head to the side, turning his gaze away from you and onto the night sky.

“So, uh…” You wanted to talk to him. You wanted to keep this – awkward as it was – going. “How’ve things been?”

He shrugged. “Alright.” He paused. “I got an internship at a publishing agency.”

A bright smile overtook your face as you sat up a little straighter. “Keiji, that’s wonderful news.”

You’d rarely spoke of your plans for the future in your third year, but you knew well enough that Keiji had his hopes vested in writing. You hadn’t spoken about it at length – those sorts of conversations did little more than root anxiety, after all – but at graduation he’d left you with a little blurb.

“It’s only an editing position,” he bit the inside of his cheek, his brow furrowed ever so slightly. “But it’s an in.”

“They’ll be begging you to write for them in no time,” you nodded, smiling at him. “You’re only in your second year of uni! That’s a pretty big deal, you know.”

The whisper of a smile pulled at his lips. Your heart stirred; the very same way it had three years ago.

Fuck. Really?

“How about you?” He asked, voice aggravatingly melodic.

How were you?

Admittedly, not great. University had been… not what you’d expected.

Your first year had knocked you off your feet, and it had been quite the battle to get yourself upright again. That was on-top of everything going on in your personal life; moving out, adjusting to a whole new way of life, having to accept the changes that graduation brought… It’d been more of a feat than you’d expected it to be.

You’d tried to make friends, but it was harder in this new, unstructured environment. Making friends meant joining clubs, or striking lucky with where you chose to sit in that crucial first lecture. You’d made a handful of good friends, but you didn’t feel close to anyone yet. Not in the way you’d been close to the man sitting next to you.

But he’d drifted from you.

You remembered graduation with startling clarity; how he’d gripped your hand after the ceremony, making his way through the crowd to find Bokuto, who’d been proud to the point of tears. You remembered how afterwards, still hand in hand, you’d made your way to the local park; that little haven where you’d spent many evenings just talking.

It was there that he’d given you that little piece of prose. At the time, you felt like you barely understood it; like you’d only caught a whisper of what it really meant.

But you’d wondered, then, if you should kiss him.

You didn’t.

You weren’t going to risk your friendship with him based on some silly misunderstanding.

And maybe you could’ve shaken it off, if that’s all it was. But it wouldn’t have been some simple misunderstanding. It would’ve been all your hopes vested in a single gesture.

Things had crumbled after that.

You didn’t really see each other in person, once school had finished; he’d left to scout out apartments earlier than you, and he’d settled himself down in Tokyo before you’d had a chance to speak to him. You managed to catch him on the day he left, just long enough to give him a farewell hug.

But even that had felt off.

And then, you were texting less. And less. And less.

Next thing you know, you only spoke to him in the little group chat between you, him and Bokuto.

You hadn’t known what to do.

The two of you had been so close after meeting in first year. You’d seen the highs and lows of his volleyball career, you’d been granted a peek at his personal journey towards becoming a writer, seen him overcome obstacle after obstacle with such grace…

And he’d been there for you through every trial of your own. When it all felt like it was too much, Keiji was there to talk you down, to make you feel like everything would end up okay. There was nothing he couldn’t logic his way through.

Really, there was no way you weren’t going to develop feelings for him. He’d grounded you, supported you, cared for you. He’d become so overwhelmingly important to you, and yet here you were, at a loss of what to say to him.

How are you? He’d asked.

Fuck it, you thought.

You tell him everything. Everything that had meant something to you. Everything that had shaped you as a person this last year and a half. Everything you’d been storing in your heart, hoping to spill to him.

You don’t know how long you’ve spoken for, but you didn’t stop. For a moment, it’s almost like it was in high school; you, rambling on about whatever had caught your interest, and Keiji, the perfect listener.

But, as the minutes pass, you realise this is just like high school.

He’s smiling at you.

It’s soft, barely there. But it’s familiar. It’s the face of the Keiji you cherished so deeply, even if he looked a little older.

You paused, taking a deep breath.

He’s still looking at you. He’s there. In reach.

So you say it.

“I’ve missed you.”

His eyes widen, just a little, and for just a second. But his cheeks are dusted with pink, and the corners of his mouth were turning upwards. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Oh no. Those words were enough to make you brave. Much too brave.”

“Hey, Keiji?”

God, why did his eyes have to be so piercing?

“Why did we drift apart?”

There’s no hiding his shock now. It’s fair – you hadn’t expected that question to crop up either.

But it’s out there, now, and you’ve got nothing to lose.

His chest rose as he took a deep breath, and--

“Akaashi!”

You both knew who that voice belonged to. And sure enough, he came thundering out the balcony door, duo-toned hair a mess and golden eyes shaped into an uncharacteristic glare.

Akaashi flinched, drawing back into the shadows as if on instinct. It wasn’t enough.

Bokuto’s face was still red, but now he looked determined. He jerked a finger on Akaashi’s direction, a pout crafted onto his face.

“Have you two hooked up yet?”

You blinked. What did he just say? Your gaze flicked over to Akaashi without even thinking about it. He looked mortified: eyes wide, mouth formed in a little ‘o’, cheeks utterly devoid of colour.

He looked exactly how you felt. Sure, Akaashi was cute – although, that was an understatement – and he’s always been a wonderful person. And sure, his distancing act hurt twice as much because maybe, just maybe you’d always had a little crush on him. And maybe you’d been wondering if he was putting that distance between the two of you because he knew about it and –

“Shut up, Bokuto—”

“It is not cool to ignore someone just because you’ve got the hots for them, man!”

Two questions crossed your mind in that moment. One – who even uses that phrase anymore? Two – what the fuck?

Your head whipped around to look at Akaashi face-on, hoping, praying that’d give you some kind of answer.

He looked like he was about to explode. That stark white pallor had been replaced by blinding red, and it looked like he was puffing his cheeks out.

Bokuto was about to die. That’s all you were sure of.

“Tell ‘em how you feel, man!” Bokuto still hadn’t stopped, hands gesticulating just as freely as his voice was.

Neither you or Akaashi had anything to say. All you could do was stare, absolutely flummoxed, at the man in front of you.

You’d mentioned the whole drifting thing to Bokuto, but you hadn’t expected him to actually say anything. Not after begging him not to. How many drinks deep was he?

But Bokuto was already gone, thundering through the door and shouting for a ‘Kuroo.’

Leaving you to deal with the aftermath.

“I’m…” Akaashi cleared his throat, his gaze a thousand miles away. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“It’s…” You bit the inside of your cheek. How were you supposed to comprehend what just happened? “It’s fine. I’m… used to it.”

“So,” he sighed, running a hand down his face. “I guess I should explain myself.”

Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.

“Remember that thing I wrote you?” He asked, his tone reticent.

You nodded. “For graduation?”

“Yeah,” he swallowed, his eyes cast downward. “I was… I was trying to confess.”

Wait. What?

Everything raced through your mind. How he’d held your hand. How his gaze had lingered on your face. How he couldn’t quite walk away after he’d walked you home. The look of disappointment in his eyes as you said goodbye.

Oh. Oh God. You were an idiot.

“You… were?” You hadn’t felt your heart hammering like this since high school.

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, playing with his fingers. “I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Maybe it had been. Maybe it hadn’t. “Oh.”

“So, I just… assumed you’d rejected me,” he murmured. “Since you said nothing about it.”

Could you punch your former self in the face? Because you really, really wanted to do that right now.

“And I… I didn’t know what to do after that,” he swallowed, managing to meet your gaze. It was only then that you realised you’d been staring at him like a creep for the past few minutes. “Everything started changing, and I…” He sighed. “I got scared. So, I stopped reaching out.” He bit his lip, looking down again. “I’m sorry. That was childish of me.”

“No!” You spoke before you’d thought about it. “No, I… I’m sorry.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I…” You took a deep breath, propping yourself up on your knees and facing him directly. “I should’ve said something.”

Akaashi frowned, tilting his head at you.

“You know I had the biggest crush on you, right?” You blurted it out, so slurred it’s almost one word.

His eyes widened at that. More than usual.

“God, I was pathetic,” you smiled. “Embarrassing, actually. Remember how many times I tripped in front of you? I was like a goddamn shoujo protagonist.”

“I never noticed,” he murmured. You smiled, about to respond – “I thought you were cute.”

Huh?

“Thanks?” You had no idea how to respond to that. But you were sure the frown on your face wasn’t a good look.

Akaashi chuckled, looking up at you again. “That hasn’t changed, you know.”

Oh God, oh God, oh God—

“I still have your letter,” you said. Why? You weren’t sure.

This conversation was already totally out of your control. You’d gotten closure for something you’d accepted as forever unknowable. The boy you were damn near in love with was confessing to you in the retrospective. You’d come to this party to make an appearance and then leave after the first hour – this wasn’t how you thought your night was going to go.

“You do?” His voice was unbearably soft.

You nodded. “I… I really missed you. I… wanted to keep the last part of you I had.”

There was no word in your vocabulary to describe the look on Akaashi’s face. It was something like relief, something like regret.

“I’m glad.”

Those weren’t the words you were expecting to hear back. But what had you expected? Especially in light of this new revelation. In light of the fact that he’d felt the same way you had. And for someone so clever, so analytical… he hadn’t picked up on how you felt.

But, knowing him… that was just a testament to how much he must’ve liked you. Enough to confuse himself. Enough to doubt himself.

And sitting there, across from him, you knew that your feelings had barely changed.

“Hey, Keiji?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not… dating anyone, are you?”

“I’m not.”

Deep breath. This was very, very stupid. But you leant forward and pressed a kiss just at the corner of his mouth, a breath away from his lips.

“Did you aim that?” Akaashi smirked. But his cheeks were red, and his eyes were fond.

“I didn’t—I don’t—I—” What you wanted to say was that you didn’t want to assume anything. That you didn’t know what you were doing. That you were trying to make up for the one vital mistake—

“Here,” he smiled. He took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. That was enough to make your mind go frantic, a muddle of shame and excitement and the will to give in.

He brought your clasped fingers up to his lips and lay a gentle kiss on him.

God, that’s so embarrassing. That’s enough to make you burn up?

“Let’s take this slow, okay?” He’s smiling at you. A full, proper smile. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

[ajeepgirl]

Shut Up and Dance

Summary: Cat Grant is attending an event in Metropolis and insists that Kara Danvers go with her as her assistant. During the gala, Kara is awestruck by the most stunning pair of green eyes she has ever seen. She can't help but want to get to know the woman who's eyes are so alluring.

AKA: a fluffy little one shot based on the song Shut up and dance by Walk the Moon set in/around S1 of Supergirl.

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Kara was staring down into her glass of wine, wishing she was human so it would actually get her drunk. She grumbled to herself, annoyed at everyone in her life at that moment.

Annoyed with her boss Cat Grant for making her come to Metropolis with her for this conference, only to ditch Kara as soon as they arrive at the evening gala.

Annoyed that Clark couldn’t be bothered to make time to meet her for coffee, even in his own city. She thought he would at least make time to see her, but when she told him she would be here for the weekend, all he gave her was a half-ass apology, saying he was busy chasing a story

Annoyed that Alex wasn’t responding to her text messages in this very moment.

Kara sighed. She shouldn’t be mad at her sister. She knows how busy the DEO can get sometimes. She just hopes they don’t have any emergencies or need Supergirl. She can see her boss across the room, doing her thing with people that wouldn’t give Kara, Cat Grant’s personal assistant, the time of day.

But she also knows that Ms. Grant would immediately know if she dipped out of this gala. So instead, Kara sips her wine and tries not to eat all the food she can get her hands on. She takes in the scene around her. It’s like going to the Met Gala in NYC, except instead of being about fashion, this weekend is all about the Fortune 500 companies in the world. More specifically, about their CEO’s and CFO’s and whoever they think is important enough to invite. Of course, what is a party without a little intrigue? So, in addition, for the final event of the weekend, everyone is wearing a masquerade mask to cover their eyes and upper face. It is all very over the top, in Cat Grant’s opinion, since she knows everyone. To Kara, she thought it was adorable and cool, though she didn’t say so to her boss.

The gala is held in a huge ballroom that even has an area with people dancing. It is a gala, after all, Kara thinks to herself. Though what does she know about rich, fancy people? As Kara looks around the room, taking in the other faces, trying to see if she knows any of them, she spots a new arrival to the gala as they enter in a dark green dress, with a matching masquerade mask. Behind the mask are the most piercing green eyes Kara has ever seen. They have a shimmer to them, a pull for Kara, inviting her in. Kara is awestruck by the woman as she takes in the rest of her. Her dark hair is flowing down her back. Kara debates using her powers, but that would require dipping her glasses down a tiny bit, which are precariously placed overtop her own mask. She chews on her lip, intrigued by the woman as she makes her rounds around the ballroom. Kara is surprised to see the woman having difficulty interacting with the other people here.

Kara starts to use her superhearing to get a better sense of what is going on. How could anyone possibly not want to talk to this alluring person. She first picks up the tail end of a conversation with two men.

“You should have known better than to show up here tonight.”

“Exactly. How could you possibly think this would go any different?”

“It isn’t my fault you idiots cannot see me for who I am.”

Kara watches the woman turn and walk away after her statement, leaving the two men speechless. Kara goes on to listen to her next conversation.

“Hello, Bruce.”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“We both know I need to be. It’s the event of the year for companies like ours.”

The man pauses at the comment as he takes a drink from his glass. “And is it yours now… the company?”

“Of course. It certainly isn’t his anymore. I’m taking over. I have full control and big plans.”

“Well, good luck with that.”

The woman gives this Bruce fellow a curt nod as he walks away, clearly not wanting to be associated with her.

After hearing a few more people completely tear down this woman, Kara can no longer stand by idly. She finds herself walking intently towards her. She catches her a few feet away from a small group of businesspeople that would surely treat her the same. Kara realizes as she takes the last few steps towards her, that she doesn’t actually have a plan on what to say. Instead, she says the first thing that comes to mind.

“The food is better than the people.”

The woman looks at Kara, head tilted, eyebrow raised, as she takes in Kara’s comment. A smirk slowly appears on her face.  

“You know, that is an interesting theory. Perhaps I should test it myself.”

“Well, I happen to have an entire plate of food back at my table, if you’re interested.”

She looks just past Kara to the group of people she was approaching, and then back to Kara, who is giving her a bright, warming smile.

“Well, I’m never one to turn down food or science.” The woman offers her arm, which Kara gladly takes with her own, guiding her back to her table.

As they walk, Kara says softly, “I’m Kara, by the way.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Kara. I presume like everyone else here, despite my silly mask, that you know who I am?”

Kara can feel herself blush under her own mask. “Well actually…”

As they sit down, the woman gasps in mock surprise at her. “That would explain your willingness to associate with me.”

Kara shrugs. “What can I say? I saw a beautiful woman who I want to get to know.”

This time, the woman blushes. “Well… Kara. If you must know then, my name is Lena.”

“What a beautiful name.”

The two spend the next hour talking and nibbling on the food and drinking wine, Lena forgetting about her purpose for coming to the gala tonight. It turned out to be a moot point anyway, with no one wanting anything to do with her since her brother tried to kill Superman. She finds Kara endearing and charming, her smile so bright and happy. It’s a change of pace from everything she has been dealing with since taking over the family company. So maybe, for tonight, she can be just Lena. She listens to Kara tell her all about Catco, working for Cat Grant, and living in National City. She talks a little bit about her sister. She talks a lot about Cat and how much she has learned being her assistant.

As the evening goes on, Kara becomes more and more enthralled by Lena. She can tell Lena is holding a lot back. She guesses it has to do with what she overheard earlier, but she can’t ask her about that, considering there is no human way she could have heard that stuff. So instead, she lets Lena tell her what she wants, and shares plenty about herself. After all, Kara knows she herself is also keeping some important stuff a secret considering they only just met this evening.

Knowing all that though, Kara doesn’t want the night to end, so when she can tell that Lena is starting to get a bit antsy and she thinks Lena is about to call it a night, she does the only thing she can think of to keep Lena around longer.

“So… Lena… want to dance?”

Lena’s eyes go wide. “Um… with you?”

Kara’s smile again broadens. “Yes, Lena, with me.”

Lena gives a sly smile as she holds her hand out. “Alright. Let’s go.”

As they made their way to the dance floor, Kara can again feel the eyes of many of the other guests on them. She looked to see Lena’s eyes darting around the room and found herself giving Lena’s hand a gentle squeeze. As Lena looked at her, she gave her a tentative smile. “Don’t you dare look back. Just keep your eyes on me.”

Lena smirked at Kara’s boldness, ready to give it right back. “Oh, just shut up and dance with me, would you?”

As Lena says it, she wraps her arms around Kara’s shoulders, sending a shiver down Kara’s spine as she stumbled to respond with words, but quickly finding her footing on the dance floor. Her hands touching softly on Lena’s hips as they began to sway to the slow music. Lena could feel the warmth radiating from Kara.

They danced in silence for a few minutes before Lena couldn’t help herself anymore.

“Kara, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but your eyes…”

Kara tilted her head as her forehead crinkled. “What about my eyes?” she asked dejectedly.

“No no,” Lena said putting a hand on Kara’s chest instinctively. “What I mean to say is that they are unlike any shade of blue I have ever seen. They are almost electric the way that they seem to glow. They are beautiful.”

Kara blushes under her mask as her head drops. “Oh… um… Thank you…”

“Sorry… if that was too forward,” Lena offers, not wanting to ruin things with the only person to treat her like a human this evening.

Kara looks back up in her eyes. “I’m glad you told me Lena. Your eyes were one of the first things I noticed about you when you walked in tonight.”

Lena’s eyebrow raised in the air suspiciously. “Really now?” Lena knows she is attractive, but her eyes? That isn’t something she often hears.

Kara smiles brightly. “Oh yes. They pulled me right in. I knew I just had to talk to you.” Kara doesn’t say it, not what she really sees when she looks into Lena’s eyes.

Deep in her eyes. I think I see the future.

Lena hides her own blush as she moves in closer, their bodies touching as she whispers in Kara’s ear. “Well, lucky for me that you rescued me from everyone else tonight then.”

Kara responds before she has time to think. “I will always save you Lena.”

Little did either know just exactly how true that statement would come to be.

Also on my AO3 page: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32377102

[jeongyunhoed]

Past-Present-Future Black Dahlia

Two major tragedies bring Lee Mirae closer to the edge as she goes through the stages of grief in a more violent manner that would affect not only her relationships with her boyfriend Jeong Yunho and her half-brother Choi San, but also has her becoming closer with the immortal mutant Kang Yeosang. Fueled by rage, grief, and pain, along with a very rude awakening that has Mirae spiraling out of control and questioning everything she holds dear.

Group: ATEEZ Member: Yunho Pairing: Jeong Yunho / OC Genre: Action, adventure, angst, fantasy

Watch Out! : Violence, blood, death, grief and loss, major character deaths, use of weapons, some jealousy (but no cheating ofc), implied smut (not sure if there is any but i’m putting it out there nonetheless), mental illness (probably?), gambling and alcohol

Anything else? : Mentions of other idols of course as well as other characters. SuperM, Dean, Chanyeol, Zelo, soloist Park Jihoon to name a few.

Author’s Note: So... I didn’t expect this would happen for some reason? But it’s interesting how things unfold when you just wing it. Anyway, more reveals ahead a.k.a Yeosang reveals what more he can do and not just suck the life out of people/mutants.

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Loud yelps of pain echoed what looked like a ballroom found within the abandoned school that Ten created. Jongin was seated on top of an operating table, his injured leg that had a gaping wound was being tended to by another male, wearing a suit. Dr. Lucas Wong, another telepath that also had extensive medical knowledge. “She tore through your muscle and the tendons, this might take a while to repair, the tissue damage is extreme and even if it did, there will be some discrepancy in the weight distribution when you walk,,” Lucas muttered as he wiped the rest of the antiseptic over the wound. 

“Yeah, she did,” Jongin bit his lip to stifle the groans leaving his mouth in pain. “Even threatened to wipe out my entire family while she did it. She’s got quite a grip.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t do the same to you, hyung,” Lucas glanced at Baekhyun, who had a brace on his neck. 

“Yeah well, I thought she needed to know who was making her suffer. I don’t regret it one bit of course,” Baekhyun frowned, sitting back against the red chintz chair. 

“And now you’ve turned her loose against us when we should be convincing her to join our cause,” Mark said. “You chose to pursue your vendetta over the greater goal that we plan to achieve, and from the looks of this, it seems like Ino has already let it slip that you and Jongin tampered with their Danger Room. We aren’t the enemy, the non-mutants are.” 

Baekhyun fell silent. “To be fair, it was fun helping them out in their plans, it gave me something to do,” Taeyong spoke, his feet up on the table that had Lucas’s medical journals, making the doctor swat his feet away while he dressed the teleporter’s wounds. “I think she also turned Yeosang away from the venture though.” 

“See?” Mark sighed in frustration. “We need her and Yeosang. Yeosang wields significant influence, granted that he practically owns the entirety of Seoul. With Mirae, it’s going to give the venture the added muscle.” 

“You mean she’ll be our enforcer,” Jongin chimed in. 

“In a way. If people have a problem, we can convince her to take care of it. She’s got a lot of skills, skills that must be utilized. She’s let herself go ever since she got rid of the Utopian cult,” Mark explained. 

A portal soon appeared in the middle of the room and Ten stepped out of it. “She’s here. And she’s pissed, and at the same time sad,” He said. He glanced at Baekhyun. “You should’ve kept the ruse going, hothead.” 

“She blew up my house though,” Taeyong pointed out. 

“You’ve got the money, you can build a new one,” Lucas muttered, dressing Jongin’s wound. “Taemin’s still not done from his meetings, is he?” 

“Nope. But I already told him what happened. He should be here in an hour? Two hours tops,” Taeyong replied. “He’s not going to be happy.” 

“Damn right I’m not.” 

Taemin had appeared by the door, looking evidently pissed off. He slammed his jacket down on the nearby desk along with his briefcase. “Didn’t even give me some time to get my stuff before she blew the place up.” 

Lee Taemin was also a telepath like Mark and Taeyong, but his main powers were mostly being able to mimic or augment a mutant’s powers. If Taemin were near an omega-level mutant, he could only mimic but not surpass their abilities completely. Unlike his younger brother Taeyong, who could turn into a diamond form to shield his mind from other telepaths, Taemin’s was naturally present, and he often used it to hide from other psychics. If there were even other psychics apart from them. 

Ten put a finger to his lips. “Shhh. I placed her in one of the rooms of this whole...estate. If I were to go to her now, she would hear everything you are all saying. We wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened in the mansion now would we?” 

“So what’s our next move?” Taemin asked. 

“We call on Ino, ask him regarding what to do about Mirae, and then maybe approach a few willing politicians. I heard not everyone remained arrested after that encounter with Chun Doohwan’s adviser,” Mark explained. “Some are desperate to make a comeback in the political scene. Even after they were exposed.” 

“How are you framing that? I’m not so sure people in this country are keen to forget something like what they did,” Taemin questioned. “Actually, people in this country don’t forget nor do they forgive unless they’re like us.” 

“You could say the same with everyone everywhere, it’s just that we feel it more here,” Taeyong argued. “Then again, it’s not like they know who we are.” 

“Exactly. We should take advantage of the flaws of this society. We’re the superior race, and they will know about their inferiority soon enough,” Mark said. 

It was making Jongin think. “Since that could take some time, I wonder what we plan on doing with Mirae? Are we just keeping her here? Clueless? You forget, you can’t read her mind.” 

“You don’t need to read a mind like hers to know what to do with her, silly,” Ten smirked. “All I can say is that all of you better watch your backs with her. A person who is grieving over the loss of the people closest to her will not think straight, but a person like her who is grieving over losing three people she holds dear? I wouldn’t be surprised if she does turn around and wipe out your entire lineage. She almost did that with you, didn’t she?” He turned to Jongin. 

“How can she do that while she’s over here?” Jongin raised a brow, until he figured out what Ten really meant. “...You wouldn’t.” 

“She’s got every reason to hate each and every one of us now that she knows you were all behind the deaths of her friends. With the shield in her mind, no telepath can control her,” Ten pointed out. “Of course, she doesn’t know my affiliation with the rest of you so she may leave me out of this.” 

“Bring it on, then,” Baekhyun said. 

“Really? You’d really take that risk? I could tell her where your families and loved ones are right now and you can watch them go bye-bye at her hands,” Ten looked satisfied seeing the older male get uncomfortable. 

“I’m already dead to my family, what makes you think I still care?” 

“Enough, Chittaphon,” Taemin rolled his eyes. “We get it. The only one she can’t kill in here is Mark, but even his own life isn’t certain. We need to control her somehow. We’re not the enemy. The non-mutants are.”

“There is a way,” Baekhyun raised a brow. “Choi San and Jeong Yunho. I’ve been thinking of making my next move towards them. Make Mirae really alone.” 

~ 

“How much longer do we have until we get there? How do we even get there?” San looked over at Junhong. They were still driving down the road that seemed to lead to the city proper with Yeosang’s help. There was a kind of uncertain quality about the city, as if it was part of a certain time yet had modern technology. The people living in the city were wearing different variations of the hanbok, styled in either coordinates or as dresses and suits. 

“It won’t be long,” Yeosang replied from his seat, making all of them look out the windows. “One kilometer more and we’ll be able to find her, or them, or both.” 

“We don’t have much time, unless Yunho can teleport us even at this time, by the time we get to her, she’ll have probably made up her mind,” San said. 

“When I was at those ruins, what I saw gave me chills,” Wooyoung said quietly. “It’s as if all I could feel from that place was rage and sadness. Junhong, both Hyuk and Chanyeol meant so much to her, didn’t they?” 

“Oh yeah they do. If they survived the explosion, you can imagine we’d get things done faster,” Junhong glanced over at them. 

Yeosang sighed. “Oh well, here goes nothing,” He closed his eyes and muttered a few words, making others look over at him. 

A flock of seagulls was flying out of the way of the van, making all of them whip around to look out the window. Their surroundings changed. They were no longer in the city proper, but they were at a dreary-looking street and at the end of the street was the gates of the school. “...Yunho?” Hongjoong glanced at the taller. 

“It’s not me,” Yunho looked just as surprised. 

Yeosang shook his head. “Well that spell was rusty,” He muttered. 

“Spell? What do you mean by spell?...You can do magic?” Mingi stared at him. 

“It’s a gift I try not to use very often. It takes the fun out of everything,” Yeosang casually replied. “I must confess I fear I might be losing my touch with it.” 

San grabbed him by the collar. “You mean to say you could’ve brought us there without having to travel?!” He couldn’t help but yell. 

“In my defense I didn’t do that when I came to the rest of you,” Yeosang yanked his hand off his collar and straightened himself up. 

“You better figure out which side you’re on because it seems to me that you’re buying them some time,” Hongjoong shot at him. 

“Give me a reason not to kill you right now,” Yunho suddenly looked over at him. “You could’ve saved us the time.” 

“Whenever I use magic, I will need to feed. It uses up my energy and turns me into a ghostly hag,” Yeosang held up his hand, his skin becoming translucent, revealing the veins that were becoming more and more visible.

“You are an old hag,” San pointed out. 

“Regardless, the more I use, the hungrier I will get. I don’t think any of you would be willing to give your lives to me, and thus control is needed. It’s one of the downsides of my abilities. That and, I tend to absorb the memories of those I kill,” Yeosang said quietly. 

“In that case, you’ve now got a reason to feed,” Hongjoong said as Junhong pulled the brakes. 

“All of you have your weapons, I can stay behind and wait. There are communicators with you, so you should be able to talk to me and each other in case you split up,” Junhong turned to them. “Good luck. Get Mirae back.” 

“We will,” San nodded and the rest of them got down.

The eight of them faced the massive gates of the estate. “Do we climb over or do we break in?” Seonghwa asked, an idea immediately coming to mind. His eyes and fingertips glowed green, the chains locking the gate coming apart, opening the gate in front of them. 

“I’m here to remind you that we’ll be dealing with a few telepaths and teleporters. Be careful,” Yeosang said as they walked inside, a cold gust of wind hitting them. “As much as it pains me to say it, San is our best bet to get to Mirae. I’m sure they already know of his relation to my dear, as much as they already know who Yunho is in her life.” 

“So we need to watch Yunho and San, is that it?” Hongjoong deduced. 

“Precisely,” Yeosang replied, only to duck out of the way when he felt something strike him. It was an axe, Mingi’s axe, and the taller male himself was attempting to strike him. 

“Mingi!” San tried to stop him, but he wasn’t answering and instead tried to strike towards everyone else, making them take out their weapons. Mingi seemed to be in a trance.

“Mingi!” Hongjoong sped around the taller male. “He’s- What’s happened to him?!” He dodged a shuriken that was thrown his way. Wooyoung and San had joined in the fray. 

Yunho dodged his strikes with an axe, only to run out of the way when he saw Jongho charge towards him. “Oh no, Jongho!” He yelled, avoiding the spikes that were protruding from his arms and legs. Jongho was also in a trance. 

Yeosang took out the concealed sword from his walking stick and knocked Jongho out of the way. “They seem to be under a spell- They know we’re here,” He said, realizing the situation. “One of them’s controlling Mingi and Jongho, or should I say two- Mark!” 

A portal opened from one side of the grounds and out stepped Mark himself, followed by Lucas. “I thought as much, Yeosang!” The immortal said. 

“Can’t get your hands dirty?” Yeosang cast a spell only for it to hit Lucas instead as he saw Taemin step out from the same portal and Ten. 

“Why would I need to?” Mark scoffed. 

“We’re not the enemy,” Taemin said, his eyes and fingertips glowing the same green glow as Seonghwa who was already trying to redirect the shurikens and axes that Mingi was throwing while also dodging Jongho’s kicks and punches. He disarmed their weapons, throwing them to the side. 

“Where is Mirae?” San asked. 

“She’s safe, somewhere in there. But I’m sorry to say that you can’t get to her,” Ten replied. “We need her.” 

“And we need her,” Yunho stared at them. “We’re not joining you and your Project Apocalypse and neither should Mirae.” 

“Ah, Yeosang told you. I guessed as much, he’s turning into a literal vampire before our eyes too,” Mark gestured to the immortal, whose skin was becoming even more translucent, his eyes turning icy blue in color. “You might as well show them how you actually look after all of that magic, you know.” 

“Still sore about Julia the Elder choosing me over you after all,” He said. 

“We’re not the enemy as you all seem to believe. Mutants are the inheritors of this earth, we’re all on the same side here,” Lucas reasoned. 

“Oh really? Then why is Mirae being kept?” Hongjoong questioned. “You’ve got her, we want her.” 

“You’ll have to get through us first, then,” Mark said. 

“No problem,” Hongjoong said, before speeding past Lucas and Taemin, knocking them off their feet. 

Mark took out a swiss army knife from his pocket and shook his head. “Care to duel, Yeosang? To the death as it seems,” He said. 

“I’d want to stick around more, no thanks,” Yeosang sent a hex towards him, sending him to the end of the field, almost knocking into the pillar. Wooyoung transformed into his shadow form, slithering across the ground and capturing Ten, nearly getting sucked into the portal he was trying to create. 

Mingi took out his lighter, sending blasts of flames towards  Mark who reappeared, making him fall over, covering his face in pain. “Chanyeol taught me that,” He grinned. 

~ 

Mirae looked out the window from the room Ten placed her in. She was getting restless. She wanted to know where Baekhyun and Jongin were, and possibly kill them when she found them. The room she was kept in gave off the impression that it was once among the opulently decorated rooms in the school, perhaps a room of a teacher or school head. 

“Mirae.” 

She turned around upon hearing the familiar voice. It was Ino. “So now you’re here.” 

“I am, and I don’t blame you for what you did to me-” 

Her eyes and fingertips glowed and she reached into her pocket for her deck of cards. “What makes you think I’m sorry for what I did to you? You deserved it as much,” She hissed. 

“Baekhyun, Jongin, their entire group has a cause worth fighting for.” 

“And Hyuk and Chanyeol are collateral damage, is that it?” Mirae flung a charged card towards the older male, only for it to explode through him. “Baekhyun killed them, and he killed Jihoon too. And you let it happen.” 

“Their deaths were a price to pay!” Ino tried to reason, dodging all the cards being thrown at him. 

“They never deserved that! And you know it!” Mirae yelled and a shockwave of energy suddenly reverberated around the room, causing cracks in the windows and walls. Ino saw his face had traces of burns caused by the shockwave. “They never deserved to die!” She yelled again, sending another shockwave that made the furniture burn and disintegrate and Ino felt more burns on his skin. 

“You’re becoming stronger, Mirae,” Ino realized as the burns on him were healing. “Remember what Junhong said to you-” 

More shockwaves of energy reverberated around the room, the ceiling and the walls already on the verge of collapsing. “All this time I was living with guilt thinking that I was responsible for it, when it’s you- You let everything happen!” She shouted, another shockwave making everything collapse and fly outwards. 

“It was the price to pay for Project Apocalypse, Mirae!” Ino tried to reason again, even if he knew it was inevitably futile. “There are people willing to die for causes greater than themselves. It’s time mutants had considerable influence in the world, we have a right to live in this world just as much as everyone else does. Out from the shadows, no longer hiding.” 

“What makes you think I was hiding? What makes you think Hyuk and Chanyeol were hiding? Jihoon wasn’t even a mutant yet he was killed!” Mirae threw another card at him followed by another, the second card ricocheting off the column as it exploded, knocking it over. 

Ino looked up and everything that was about to crumble down froze in mid-air. Baekhyun and a limping Jongin appeared, followed by Taeyong. Baekhyun released a beam of light towards her face, making her fall over, covering her eyes. Taeyong transformed into his diamond form and charged towards her, Mirae knocking him over before he could strike. 

“You don’t even bother to see that your friends are out there right now,” Baekhyun tried to blast another beam of light towards her. “San and Yunho, did you really care for them?” He taunted, only to gape when the beam of light hit the staff she had extended, the energy coming from her being redirected towards him and sending him flying towards the other side, Jongin teleporting in time to catch him. 

The whole school burned down into ashes and shockwaves reverberated all throughout the grounds, making everyone in the midst of their fights fall over on the ground from the impact. Taeyong, Jongin and Baekhyun appeared close to the rubble as Mirae emerged from the ashes. Ino had also reappeared, the burns on his hands and face healing. 

Yunho got up upon seeing Mirae and he ran up to her. “Mirae! Mirae!” He called out, only to get pushed inside a portal. 

“Yunho?” The glow in her eyes faded. “Yunho!” She called out, running towards the portal only for it to close, making her stumble and fall over. Mirae looked over, her eyes scanning the ground for San and getting back on her feet. “San!” She called out. 

“Mirae!” San got back up on his feet only to get pushed inside another portal that closed before Seonghwa could keep him out. 

“San! San!” She yelled, staring at the spot where San disappeared. Mirae glanced at Ten, who was still within the grip of Wooyoung’s shadow form. “Wooyoung, get out of the way,” She said, her eyes glowing red. 

“Project Apocalypse must go online without any interruptions,” Ino said. 

“Wooyoung,” Mirae looked over at the shadow form still wrapped around the male. “Get out of the way.” 

The shadow seemed to slither away from Ten, transforming back into Wooyoung as Mirae’s staff began to glow the same red glow from her eyes and fingertips. “If you kill me, you won’t know where Yunho and San are,” Ten pointed out. “If you join us, Project Apocalypse, you will have them back, unharmed, not possessed or crazy that’s for sure. If you refuse, let’s just say you will have lost two more people you care so much about. In such a short span of time too.” 

“Don’t join them, Mirae,” Hongjoong called out. “Yunho and San wouldn’t want you to join them either.” 

“There’s nothing but pain for you if you join them,” Wooyoung chimed in. “It’s not going to end. It’ll only get worse.”

“If you can’t command, you must obey,” Baekhyun said quietly. 

The words made Mirae look over at him and she struck her staff into the ground leading up to where he was standing, the shockwave sending the rest of them flying back in different directions. “How dare you control me,” Mirae muttered, the glow in her eyes becoming brighter than ever. 

“Mirae don’t join them!” Seonghwa called out, the green glow in his eyes and fingertips. 

She ran up to Baekhyun and before he could get away, she struck her staff in the ground again, the impact making him stumble and fall. Mirae grabbed him by the collar. “Could you really kill me, Lee Mirae?” He said. “One of the last in our group, the sentimental value of it all is enticing isn’t it? You don’t have it in you to kill me. You keep searching for a face to blame for all your grievances, when that face is staring right back at you in the mirror.” 

Baekhyun’s satisfied expression soon turned into horror when Mirae’s eyes turned black. “You really are a monster,” He said, before disappearing. 

Mirae looked back at the group where a portal had opened. “Ino.” 

“Baekhyun is part of Project Apocalypse. It is about to go online in a matter of hours,” Ino explained. “Make your choice, Mirae. If you want to see Yunho and San again, if you want to find them unharmed, you will make the right choice.” 

Mark, Taemin, Lucas, and Taeyong had entered the portal. Mirae closed her eyes. She could hear Yunho calling out to her. Somehow, she had relayed what was happening to Yunho, who was now also aware of what was going on. 

I’m here in this kind of wild west village

There’s so many crows, a murder of crows.

It’s deserted

Mirae, don’t join them, just find me, I’ll tell you where to go

San won’t want you joining them either, and Wooyoung will know what’s going to happen if you do

Don’t join them 

She kept hearing him. Mirae opened her eyes. “Keep your word and I will consider.” 

“I’ve kept my word that I took you to the place where you will find your revenge, didn’t I?” Ten replied, seeing Jongin limp inside the portal. “You can trust me.” 

“Trust, that’s a word that I haven’t heard in a while,” Mirae struck the other end of her staff on the ground towards him, making him fall inside the portal. She turned to Ino. 

“You will regret that decision,” He said. 

“And you will regret the day you allowed everything to happen,” Mirae stared at him, a wave of energy hitting the elder once more, burning his face. As Ino fell over on the ground, he disappeared.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Anon Asks ! (+one NSFW one below)

1. Awe, you're not selfish. I completely understand why you feel left out. Unfortunately, people already read my SFW stuff at such a lower rate that I'm afraid a SFW Series would totally bomb. Unless I was extremely motivated, I don't see myself being able to do it.

Do me a favor and send me another Anon about SFW Series recommendations. I just asked my Discord, but I want to give them some time to respond!

2. You are so wonderful. Thank you for sending me such a lovely message not once, but twice. I appreciate you taking your time to read my work and then go even further and tell me about it.

I hope you have the best day ever 😭

3. They've been friends since they were teenagers! Las Vegas is a surprisingly small place, all things considered. They promised him back then they would let him direct a music video if they ever made it big. It's very cute.

4. Who, me? Naaah, I'm just a worm 😉 (does anyone recognize this reference? or do I just look silly?)

5. I'm assuming this is about Quid Pro Quo (although it could also be about Fuzzy Pants, lol), and I'm so happy you think so! I was worried it'd be a bit too niche, but it's great to see people enjoying it 🤗

6. I don't think I'll be able to swing a whole series of that, but I do have a couple Virgin Post-Prison Spencer WIPs. I also plan on writing a Virgin Spencer mini-series after TB&TB (called Centerfold), but it takes place when he's in graduate school/ten years later.

7. Ah, you are so sweet. And yes, I have been writing quite a lot of that lanky fucker, huh... The truth is, my answer is very simple and can be summed up in a very funny way. How do I keep writing him?

✨ a u t i s m ✨

I can honestly say I have never, ever bored myself out of anything. Other things just became more interesting for a little while. Matthew was one of my first ever special interests as a young teen. I cycle through mine for periods of a couple years at a time (I popped in here hot off my Naruto re-emergence).

Whereas a lot of people go through interests in much shorter bursts (especially those with ADHD), autistic people have a tendency to fixate for much, much longer periods. There is nothing wrong with you, we are just different ☺️

I use the "Other" MGG characters to grant myself the freedom to do other things. I honestly really wanted this to be a multi-fandom blog, but I was immediately inundated with Spencer requests that never stopped.

Maybe one day I'll introduce another obsession, but I don't see it in my immediate future. I usually have a pretty good warning that I'm slipping out of the fandom. Right now I'm mostly just sad people are leaving. I'm still going strong though, lmao!

8. I'm a firm believer in the idea that Laziness Does Not Exist, but I totally understand. You're actually describing something experienced by ALL writers, although having ADHD will no doubt exacerbate the problems. I do not have ADHD, but the good news is that ADHD has a large number of treatment options (both pharmaceutical and otherwise).

I think you can talk to a trusted adult about it if you'd like. I know very little about the diagnostic process of ADHD, but I do know that it's significantly more straightforward than most autistic testing. A number of my friends got a diagnosis in less than a month (granted, they are all adults, and their parents were willing to cooperate).

A diagnosis won't make your parents (or anyone else) believe you, though. It's just one of those things you have to learn to deal with. But with the case of ADHD specifically, because there are pharmaceutical treatments, it might be worth it. I personally absolutely abhor stimulants (and am also medically contraindicated). But I'm autistic, so they don't help me, lol!

As for being more motivated generally, I think a lot of it is literally just forcing yourself to do it. You have to get over this idea of writing it perfect and just start writing SOMETHING, even if it's garbage. You can always edit it.

Fanfiction is so much easier with this because it doesn't have to be perfect, or even good (lol). It's just for fun! It's not an easy thing to do, but it is so rewarding. I know a lot of people in my Discord like utilizing our Writer Bot to have writing "sprints" where you are timed and see how many words you can write in short bursts.

Not how I function, but it works for some people! We are all different, and that's what makes us wonderful 🥰

9. Awwwe, I have so many Hozier songs on their playlist! I listen to him whenever I need general inspiration. Like most basic white bitches, I do love me some Hozier. Also, I am honored.

NSFW WARNING, MINORS DNI

Hahah, good news is I have a number of fics about that premise! H2M, Different Kind of Daddy, Big Bad Wolf, Protege, sections of the NSFW Alphabet, Thimble of Honey, aaand... Spoiled. I think that's most of them.

It will come up VERY briefly in TB&TB. I'm positive I have other Spencer WIPs that include it, but I couldn't tell you which ones. It's requested of me very often 😅 which is fine, it is a kink I have IRL!

I agree, though. It makes me feel things.

[rogerslovesstark]

Caught Red Handed Part. 3/3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: Angst

Words: 1.1k

Seven Months Later

You had just finished work and were taking the train to the grocery store, it had been a little over a week since you had bought groceries and you needed to restock. Your phone began ringing and you check the caller id seeing it was the guy you have been going on dates with for the past two months. Richard was so sweet and funny, really making you laugh instead of the fake laughs you would have to do for the guys who thought they were comedians but really they were just rude and unthoughtful. 

You walked in started collecting your designated groceries when you see a tall blonde looking at the wines.

There he was, Steven Grant Rogers in all his tall blonde dumb glory. Looking at the last wine bottle that both of you like the best. You walked up next to him without saying a word and just stared at the bottle. He looked down a noticed that it was you and tensed up. 

He knew that this was the grocery store that you went too, subconsciously hoping to run into you, he missed you so much he could barely think. The past seven months have been hell on him and every day that went by without seeing you made him feel a little bit more enraged. You were constantly there, always picking up the phone when needed, responding to texts quickly, sending silly selfies a random times in the day.

Steve’s game plan was to run into you and beg for forgiveness, but seeing you after such a long time made his heart stop. You looked so beautiful, your hair did, and wearing a cute dress, your nails and makeup were done too. It then dawned on him that you might have a date and that sent dread running down his spine. 

“One of us has to take it you know?” You said still staring at the cheap bottle of wine. Steve couldn’t even think of anything to say to you, he just kept staring down at you. You looked up and you could see in his eyes that he wasn’t doing okay.

“Stevie, what's the matter?” The endearing term had slipped out of your mouth, and Steve’s heart melted when he heard you call him Stevie. You called him that all the time when you were together. 

“Nothing, its just good to see you again N/n,” Steve said, any game plan of trying to win you back left his mind when he saw you. You smiled so sweetly at him, nose crinkling and eyes shining, all Steve wanted to do was grab your face kiss you so fiercely that you would forget all his flaws and mistakes.

Your phone began ringing, and it was Richard. You smiled at the Caller ID, he always made you smile when you needed it. You turned around to take the call with a little privacy.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/n, can we meet and hour early, I was able to get off of work a little earlier than I expected, is that okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just at the grocery store picking up some stuff for dinner, you like shrimp stuffed shells right?”

“Love em, alright, see you later beautiful,”

“See you in a few Richard,” You smiled as you ended the call, he really was the perfect guy, when you turned towards the wines again, Steve was nowhere to be found. You frowned and grabbed the bottle of wine and paid for it, leaving in a rush because you need to get home in time to get your apartment ready and start cooking. 

++++

Steve laid down in his bed having a slight anxiety attack. His hands were shaking and his vision was blurry, he could hear his heart in his head. You had moved on, some guy named fucking Richard was in your life now. Steve wasn’t the one who could see you in your kitchen cooking, dancing a little to the soft music you would play in the kitchen. Fucking Richard would though. 

Steve felt numb after just sitting on the ground for a few minutes, he had lost you, all because of a stupid mistake that he made. He hadn’t even remembered her name. At first he blamed the woman he slept with, she seduced him and it was her fault for not asking if he was in a relationship, but after some introspection Steve realized that it wasn’t her fault, the only person he had to blame was himself. He fucked up. Now all he could do was move on and try to never make the same mistake that he made with you with anyone else.

He got up after a half an hour, getting into the shower just to rinse off any of the stress he felt because of the anxiety attack. The stream of the water just hitting him in the face with his eyes closed, just imagining if you were still his, the way you would hold him if he ever felt stressed or had an anxiety attack. 

Anxiety attacks were pretty common for Steve, especially with the war, the ice, and the attack on New York, Sokovia, then Thanos. The majority of his life he was under extreme distress and you were basically one of the only people who were able to calm him down after a severe attack. 

You helped him get over his fear of the cold by starting small, eating ice cream almost every night, giving him anything he drinks really cold, holding his warms hands with your cold ones, sleeping with a window cracked open during the winter, escalating to cold showers once a week and even the slightest bit of anxiety were to course through Steve’s body you would hold him through it and comfort him till he was able to deal with it on his own.

However, Steve didn’t want to deal with it on his own, he wanted you to help him through it, all he wanted to be you, your sweet smile, the sweet smell of your hair, everything about you he had, and lost because he didn’t think he needed you as badly as he thought he would. 

He would have asked you to move in with him, but with him barely living in his own apartment and constantly being at the tower, it was difficult for the both of you to make time to see each other, even though you were more available than Steve was, you still had a life outside of your relationship. And now you weren’t even in his life anymore.

You had both spoken about children and getting married in the future, Steve even begun to think of looking for engagement rings, maybe a house for the two of you, a dog to share, just something that would bound you two to each other besides each other. But it didn’t matter now. 

You had caught him red-handed and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

Tags:

@thefandomzoneisdangerous @kawairinrin @belovedcherry @lovely-geek @heyiamthatbitch

[honourablejester]

Worldbuilding with Deities

AKA some thoughts on how to make pantheons for your fantasy worlds.

Okay. So this is fairly heavily inspired by D&D specifically, because some of the published settings feel very lacklustre to me in the deity department (*cough*Eberron*cough*), but it also feels like a general problem in fantasy when your setting is not ‘medieval or heroic western fantasy’ where you can just file the serial numbers off the Greek, Norse or Christian mythologies and call it good. I also feel there’s a bit of an issue with either darker or more technological settings, where there’s a push to either have no gods, evil gods, or relatively powerless gods, to show that this is a more enlightened and/or cynical setting that doesn’t rely on silly things like faith. Which is perfectly fine if that’s what you’re actually going for! But. You can have a very wide variety of settings and still have cool and interesting deities in them.

With D&D specifically, I feel like part of the issue is that clerics, paladins and warlocks are playable classes, so there’s mechanical considerations to keep track of. So when you’re worldbuilding a setting, you feel some pressure to ‘tick all the boxes’ with things like cleric domains, and it feels less like building out your setting and more like making random stuff up to fill jobs, which sucks some of the joy out of it. If clerics and deities and mythologies are your jam, excitement will carry you through, but otherwise it might feel like a bit of a slog. Ticking boxes on your worldbuilding forms.

Of course, clerics and deities and mythologies are my jam. So I possibly don’t have much of a leg to stand on here. But. I’m also a pantser when it comes to worldbuilding, and nothing turns me off faster than lists of things to shoehorn in. So. I do have some thoughts here.

When I’m building a mythology, and not just making up a couple of gods for a quick story, I do have a bit of process. It’s mostly subconscious, granted, but there is a method there. Things I consider in a particular order to get where I need to go.

So. Thoughts for rough-and-ready mythology worldbuilding for pantsers who don’t like to overplan. A quick summary:

Mood/Genre

Important Concepts/Themes

Overarching Goals

Reverse-Engineered Cosmology

Further Details

Mood/Genre:

This is the one I think about first and foremost. For worldbuilding in general, really, not just building pantheons. Everything starts from the mood for me. The tone of what I want. What my world is going to feel like to people. Do I want something bleak and pale? Wild and whimsical? Meaty and heroic? Urbane and subtle? Is the world wild and empty and only partially discovered, or completely full to the brim? Is it starting out, fresh and wild and new, or fading away, weary and dangerous and despairing? What does it feel like?

Genre usually follows from tone. Am I looking for dark fantasy? Something post-apocalyptic? Urban low fantasy? Old-fashioned sword-and-sorcery? Celtic fantasy? A rough-and-rowdy beat-em-up?

You don’t have to be overly specific on the genre. I mean, you don’t have to plan that in advance. The tone is the overriding thing, genre will settle itself. But sometimes it’s easier to conceptualise or pitch a thing by its genre.

Once you have the tone nailed down. The mood of what you want. You move on to …

Important Concepts/Themes:

When you’ve gotten a tone, then you can start to think about the concepts that might be important in it. What concepts that would be culturally valued in a setting of this tone, and concepts that would be regarded with suspicion. The themes that divide it up. This is where your domains start to come in, and also where you start to line up what the ‘good’ gods vs the ‘evil’ gods look like.

A question that I find helps here is what do the stereotypical ‘heroes’ look like in this kind of world? Are they rogues up against the man (urban fantasy)? The faithful against the profane (heroic fantasy)? The simple warriors against the sorcerous villains (sword and sorcery)? The fragile monster hunters against the unrelenting darkness (gothic horror)? Etc. This’ll tell you where domains like knowledge, trickery, arcana, war and order will broadly line up on the morality scale.

This is how you get your darker/bleaker settings in as well. You just rearrange your value-sets somewhat. Think about what is still valued in this world. What might usually be valued in a less strained setting, but might be more questionable here. In a post-apocalyptic world, where survival is the name of the game, perhaps gods touting ‘peace’ and ‘acceptance’ are viewed as corrupters, trying to get people to resign themselves and lay down and die. Or they’re saviours, offering a peaceful afterlife away from the horrors of what the setting has become. Dealers choice.

The point here is to get a broad, overarching theme or set of themes to arrange your pantheons around. In a dark fantasy world, it might be light vs dark, faith vs corruption. In a strongly urban fantasy, a very built-up setting, it might be anarchy vs fascism, rich vs poor, honesty vs corruption. In a post-apocalyptic world, it might be hope vs despair, survival vs surrender, life vs death. In a bawdy heroic fantasy, it might be exploration vs safety, civilisation vs freedom, natural vs unnatural. You’re thinking about the driving forces in your setting, the big conflicts that shape it. What things have value, what things are frightening.

And remember, this comes back to the feel of the world. You’re not writing a moral screed here (or, well, you can, but it’s not my primary point), you’re picking the themes and conflicts that will most highlight the mood you want.

And then, once you know the conflict points your gods will be divided along, you can move on to:

Overarching Goals:

What are the deities in your setting working towards? What are their main goals, what are they trying to preserve or destroy or make or accomplish? This lets you divide them up into groups that are working with or against each other. It’s an easy mechanism to build pantheons around, and is based on your themes/values from the previous point.

So. In your urban fantasy setting, built around themes of anarchy vs fascism, honesty vs corruption, rich vs poor. You have your gods of civilisation and tradition, of honesty and respect, of building and preserving. And you have your gods of change and chaos, of trickery and freedom. You have your gods of greed and corruption. Your gods of ascetism and simplicity. You could have them all the one pantheon, forever gaming between themselves. Or divide them out, make two primary pantheons around that first divide, civilisation vs anarchy, with each of them viewing the other as evil, and then several other deities on the outskirts, trying to gain for themselves, or poke at the larger pantheons.

In your post-apocalyptic setting, dark and bleak, built around hope vs despair, survival vs surrender, life vs death. You’ll have your gods of life and protection, of bastions and defenses, of nurturing and rebuilding. Gods who want to protect what’s left and help it rebuild. Then maybe you’ll have gods of death and annihilation, gods of despair and madness, gods of acceptance and fading. Gods who want to help the world limp along to a final darkness. And possibly you’ll have gods of light and defiance, gods of hunting and exploring, gods of lost knowledge and future innovation. Gods who want to reignite the world, kick it back into high gear, and maybe destroy it in the process, but better that than a long slow slide into a hungry nothing!

In your heroic fantasy, big and bawdy and brave, built around exploration vs safety, risk vs reward, civilisation vs freedom, might vs might. You might have people-specific pantheons, in a big empty world where every race or culture is out for themselves. Gods who pick (or come from) specific peoples, and act to make space for them in this brave new world. Other gods, with bigger or smaller goals. Gods of chaos, thriving on the general anarchy of the world. Gods of civilisation, striving to unify it more. Gods of annihilation, who want to wipe the slate clean, and who are great for everyone else to rally against.

There’s a lot of archetypes to work with here. When you’ve got your mood and your theme, it’s easier to get a picture of the type of god that’s going to live there, to embody that. Then what types might stand a good counterpart or complication to it.

Divide your pantheons up broadly along your themes. Feel out which domains and concepts and ideologies belong with which camps, which might be shared between them. What the pantheons as a whole culturally value, what individual gods value, what that means for their allegiances and goals. What deities would be outliers, independent, what ones would work together, what ones hate everyone but are broadly aligned in goals with others.

From there, we’ve got two further considerations, which I tend to do in whichever order makes sense at the time. One of them:

Reverse-Engineer Your Cosmology:

By which I mean, the origins of your deities and the mechanisms by which gods and/or universes are created in your setting. Can gods be made or created later, or did they have to exist from the start of the world? If they can be created later, how can they be created? How willing are the gods to personally interact with the world and to what extent? Did the gods create the things they’re in charge of, or are they avatars of them, or did they just divvy up jobs the old fashioned way? Etc.

Now. I know a lot of people prefer to do this step first. Cosmology first and work down from there. That’s perfectly fine if that works for you! For me, though, it really doesn’t. It’s far, far easier for me to reverse-engineer it later, after I’ve sketched out what my setting feels like and what sort of gods I’d like to exist in it. It’s easier to have realisations like ‘this setting is way too bleak for ascension to be an option’ or ‘this setting values freedom and chaos too much for everything to have been set in stone from before the beginning’ or ‘this setting is too subtle and low-key for vast holy gestures to be feasible until endgame’ if I’ve already run through the rest first.

Also, it’s easier to come up with backstories if the setting is already sketched. If I decide gods can be made, I can look at things like the cataclysm that defined my post-apocalyptic world and go ‘that made or killed a whollle bunch of gods’. If it’s a gothic/dark fantasy story that relies very much on faith and hope vs monstrosity and darkness, then mortal-origin deities who were so hopeful or monstrous in life that they became avatars after death becomes an obvious option. Things like that. Cosmology is easier sketched in retrospect, I find. You’re not paralysed by fitting stuff into a pre-existing grand order of the universe. You can come up with stuff as it pleases you, and work back to justify it later. (I mentioned I’m a pantser, right?)

And the other consideration:

Further Details:

Once you have your broad-strokes themes and pantheons sketched in, you can flesh them out and start building stuff above, below, within and around them.

Above would be the reverse-engineered cosmology above.

Below would be: servants, celestials, lesser deities, demigods, mortal champions, mortal organisations, priesthoods, cults. What the gods have put into the world. Artefacts. Locations. Ideals. Religions. Powers and magics.

Around them would be other beings, devils, demons, eldritch abominations, etc, and where they fit in this setting. Anomalies to the grand order. Etc.

And within them would be: individual gods, backstories, personal histories, what gods are most powerful depending on theme, what gods are most independent, what gods have changed allegiances in their history, what gods does nobody know their allegiances. What do the gods themselves feel about their jobs and their goals and their means to enact them. Once you’re down off the broad strokes and into the details, remember that your deities are individual, thinking beings as well. Perhaps they can learn, change. Perhaps they have personal hangups from their histories that preclude their doing or joining a certain thing, despite the thematic sense it would make. Perhaps they identify more strongly with a particular aspect of their nature/domain that could put them over into an unexpected camp. There’s a lot of room to muck things around and complicate them once you’re into the nitty gritty.

If stuff crops up here that makes you reconsider any of the previous points above, follow it. Play with it. Maybe adjust some stuff because of it. It often happens to me that a small specific detail will catch my imagination so much that I’ll edit huge chunks of the world around it. Possibly this works out better for writing personal worlds than for live game worlds that have other people in them, but still. It’s a point to consider. Stuff likely will come up later. Mood or tone might shift a bit, entirely naturally. Don’t go too far down into fixed details. Leave enough things vague or sketched that you’ve wiggle room later for adjustments.

In Summary:

Voila! My bootleg process for worldbuilding in general and worldbuilding deities in specific: start with what you want out of it, the mood and tone, the feeling of the setting. The themes and conflicts you want people to explore in it. Then jury-rig the rest out of that. Move to your goals, your factions, your big forces. Then your smaller details, individual characters and personal details. Your origins and your processions, going back and going forward. Reverse-engineer what you’d need to have done to get the setting you want, set the stage for where you might want it to go later. And always remember to keep things loose enough that you’ve got room to play and adjust and be surprised later, often by your own flighty brain.

Also. Deities are just characters, when we’re talking about fantasy settings. You don’t have to make any specific real world points with them. You just have to make them fit with the mood you want within your setting. You build your universe to fit your story, because fantasy allows us to do that, unlike the real world where we’re stuck with whatever was premade earlier. Heh. So don’t get too bogged down with what you need to add in or leave out to make things ‘dark’ or ‘realistic’ or whatever. Anything can be made to be anything, if you build stuff around it the right way. So add in whatever you want, and jury-rig the rest until it fits. Get a strong enough, loose enough base, and you can add in a surprising amount without upsetting it too much. In my case, that’s the feel. Get the tone nailed down, get some good strong archetypes to build the show on, and you can play merry hell with it from there.

It’s a good general rule. At least for rough-and-ready, adjusted-as-required stuff. Start with what you want, set up a loose framework for it to fit in, then jury-rig the rest from there.

(Or make stuff up out of whole cloth in a blind panic and spend the entire rest of your time straining to keep one chapter ahead so no one figures it out, until you hit a surprise endgame that absolutely no one, least of all you, was prepared for. You know. One or the other. Heh)

So. Good luck inventing gods? Hope this works for more than just me? Eh. Hopefully there’s something worthwhile in it, and good luck!

[taeken-my-heart]

Moirai Chapter 15

Summary: On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Soulmates au/ Enemies to lovers au. Angst, fluff, bickering, romance, eventual smut.

Word Count: 4580

NOTES: Next chapter is THE chapter...if you catch my drift ;) It will be coming out VERY soon, so keep an eye out for that. This chapter is slightly shorter than others, but next chapter will be longer than normal, so I hope that will make up for it!

**

You weren’t sure you would ever get used to the feeling of Jimin’s absence. It had been just over a month since you’d broken up and it was like a cavern in your chest. You hadn’t had much distraction at first, at least until Lizzy found out.

It had been overwhelming when she found out. She was the type of friend that liked to coddle and you just wanted to forget everything and be alone. Eventually, she found a distraction that worked for you, spending multiple nights a week bringing you dinner and conversation.

Your schedules didn’t always match up but somehow, she always made it work. She’d find you at work and sit with you in the breakroom sharing her hummus and chips. She’d find you outside of the hospital sitting on one of the benches, waiting to be entertained with jokes and lively stories. Or, like tonight, she’d find you at home.

A rare night off for the both of you, Lizzy had come over with takeout and a cheesy romcom from the 90’s you’d already seen one too many times. One more time couldn’t hurt, though.

You’d recently moved to a new apartment and most of your stuff was still in boxes, but you had a beanbag chair and a love seat to enjoy. The sofa had been Jimin’s purchase so you were lacking in a better seating arrangement until you could find time to search for your own couch.

Lizzy stretched lethargically across the arms of the loveseat, takeout pasta dish in her lap as she slurped noisily and you wiggled around in the beanbag chair, trying to find a more comfortable position. “I told you I can take the beanbag!” Lizzy said, turning to look at you and you shook your head, holding your own bowl of pasta to your chest as you readjusted once more.

“No way, you’re my guest, Liz.”

“I’m your best friend; that hardly counts.” She said, standing from the loveseat and hovering in front of you, “get up.”

“Seriously, I got this.” You insisted and Lizzy frowned, hand going to rest on her jutted hip.

“You look like a beached whale right now. Up, up.”

You huffed, putting your food on the floor beside you and rolling onto your knees with a groan. “Wow, things really are not the same when you’re in your 30’s.” You complained, standing and bending over to grab your food. Lizzy settled into the beanbag with a contented sigh and you resigned yourself to the (far more comfortable) loveseat.

“We need a vacation.” Lizzy announced loudly and you looked over at her while reaching over for your glass of wine on the TV dinner table between the two of you. It was rickety, precarious with age; as old as your high school diploma. Back before you’d ever even met Jimin or learned how to be delicate with your things.  A quick trip to the thrift store on your way to your first semester of college had deemed you its new owner. Who knows how many had owned it before?

“What made you think that so suddenly?” You questioned.

“To be fair,” she slurped a noodle loudly and you waited, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’m just now saying it. We’re tired and overworked and I want to sit somewhere on a beach in a bikini that shows off a little bit too much of my cellulite and drink an appletini that makes me feel a little too dizzy and just live my life. You know?”

You smiled, sipping over the rim of your glass and humming. “Maybe your soulmate is on that beach.” You teased and Lizzy’s eyes lit up, leaning forward in the beanbag.

“You’re so right. So where should we go? I’m thinking Mallorca. My sister went there last year and said it was unbelievably gorgeous.”

“Sure, we can go to Mallorca. I can’t do it for a couple months, though. I’ve already taken a few days off for my sister’s wedding so I doubt I could take more time off so soon after.”

Lizzy hummed, taking a sip of her own wine. “That’s right, when’s her wedding again?”

“The 20th of next month.” You sighed, leaning your head back against the headrest of your chair and spacing out on the television.

“You gonna be OK?”

You paused, watching the colors dance across your vision before lifting your head to look at your friend. “What do you mean?”

“You gonna be ok at your sister’s wedding? I know you, Y/N. You act like things are OK when they’re not. Do you want me to go as your plus one?” She’d finished her pasta by now, empty bowl discarded beside her on the floor.

You sighed again, looking back at the television. “What do you want me to say? Jimin absolutely broke me. I’m absolutely not OK, everything hurts and every morning I wake up thinking maybe it’ll be better and it’s just not. I know someday it will be ok, but it was 8 years, you know? Now I get to go sit at my sister’s wedding and watch her marry her soulmate while my own is,” you paused, realizing you had yet to tell your friend about Jungkook. Now was not the time. “Well, anyway. I’m not OK…but I will be.”

“I’m sorry,” Lizzy frowned, twisting her fingers around her glass. “I shouldn’t have asked. For what it’s worth, though, I know you’ll get through it. You’re pretty amazing, you always bounce back and this time will be no different, it just might take a little longer.”

You nodded, heart clenching at the thought of more time. More time to sit and think about Jimin and hurt. Sometimes you wish you could just turn your heart off.

Later, after Lizzy had left home and you’d finished cleaning up your living room, you made your way towards your bedroom, flicking on the lights. There were only a couple boxes left unpacked in here. You’d wanted a sense of normalcy in at least one room so you’d chosen to focus on your bedroom.

Lizzy had come over and helped you hang up the fairy lights across your ceiling. They cast a much softer glow than the actual light in the center of the room and you liked that warm feeling, like a security blanket over your heart.

This apartment was smaller than the last, you couldn’t afford to spend your one paycheck on two extra bedrooms you didn’t need. Instead, you’d stuffed your office supplies inside the smaller second bedroom. Eventually this place would feel like home and it wouldn’t haunt you with memories in every corner. It was blissfully blank.

Ella was coming out for her final dress fitting tomorrow and you’d be joining her for your own. You’d been eating one too many pieces of chocolate recently so you were a little concerned it wouldn’t fit quite right, but maybe if you sucked in enough it would work out.

You sat on the side of your tub, brushing your teeth languidly as you thought. Apartments were eerily quiet when you lived in them alone. Granted, you lived on the top floor all the way at the end so you really only had to worry about one wall, and that neighbor was apparently some kind of producer, so he was never there.

You missed the noise of another person, though. The thought overwhelmed you suddenly, the vast emptiness of it all and your eyes stung as they filled with tears. Crying with toothpaste slathered all over your mouth was not the look you were going for so you quickly rinsed out your mouth before sitting back on the edge of the tub.

You knew you were still young, still had time, but it honestly felt like a ticking time bomb. You weren’t getting any younger, already close to turning 31 and you felt like your dreams of the future you had were slipping from between your fingertips.

Your dreams with Jimin were gone, like ash in the wind. That you would have to let go of…but to be in love, to be a mother…those were difficult pills to swallow. Tonight, like many other nights before, you wondered what would have happened if Jungkook hadn’t turned you down. Would you be in love? Would you be married and have children?

You supposed it was silly to wonder if you’d be in love, you’d never seen the universe pair people up incorrectly, even if it seemed like maybe it had at first. Jimin said he’d had a couple of soulmates in his office before, but you’d never seen it yourself and you just wondered if that was just that those individuals were unwilling to work with anyone.

If you and Jungkook had given each other a chance…well, maybe you could have been magical. It was futile to still think about it, even though he was back in your life. There was no way of really knowing if that was something he even wanted. Sure, he’d seemed apologetic and like he wanted to make amends…but perhaps that was just to satiate his guilt, or maybe he felt sorry about losing your friendship or perhaps you were only a backup plan, in case he couldn’t find anyone else better.

You scoffed, standing from the edge of the tub and rinsing off your toothbrush before flipping off the bathroom lights and heading back into your bedroom. You wiped at your cheeks, willing yourself to stop crying. It didn’t help anything to mope and it certainly didn’t help to imagine things you couldn’t possibly know.

You slipped under the covers, pulling them up to your chin and staring out into the dark across your mattress, feeling far emptier than it had in a long time. It may have been foolish to imagine all those things, but no one ever communicated that to your heart and she loved to mourn what she’d never even had.

 **

It was the perfect day to wear a sundress. You’d shaved your legs, scrubbed your face from any puffiness from crying and were now sat outside a nearby café waiting for Ella and your mom to arrive. Late summer was beautiful and you let the sun warm your legs as you sought shelter under your table’s umbrella, running your fingers across the metal of the chair.

You were tired this morning. Negative thoughts had kept you awake for most of the night, but with a dress appointment and work later tonight, you wouldn’t have much of an opportunity to make up for it.

Across the street you saw your mom’s car pull into a parking spot and you waved as she and your sister both stepped from the car, scanning the sidewalk for you. They smiled, waving back, before making their way to the crosswalk and you waited patiently.

“Sweetheart!” Your mom called and you stood, reaching out to hug her as they got closer.

She held you close, a little too tight and warm for the weather, but you sunk into the embrace. She only lived an hour away, but you hadn’t seen her much recently and with everything going on, you were exhausted and just needed to hug your mom.

“How are you?” She asked, standing back and rubbing her thumb across your cheek. “You look tired.”

You smiled, soft, shaking your head at her. “I’m ok. Didn’t sleep well last night. Morning, Ella!”

Ella squealed, flinging her arms out for a hug and you chuckled as she embraced you. “I’m so excited! It’s almost here!”

“I know,” you agreed, “I can hardly believe it. Feels like just yesterday we were little kids and you were stealing all my clothes.”

Ella chuckled, grabbing your hand and leading you back towards the table. She took her seat across from you with your mother in the middle and set her purse delicately in her lap before replying. “Well, now you’re always dressed in scrubs. I think it’s safe to say my fashion sense is better than yours.”

You smiled, shrugging, “I don’t know, this dress is pretty cute.”

“True.” Ella admitted, “You live too far to steal from now, though.”

“Remind me when you’re coming back home again?” Your mother asked, perusing the menu and you picked up your own to start looking.

“The day before the wedding. It’s pretty hard to get more time off right now.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to miss my bachelorette party.” Ella pouted, sipping at the water the waiter dropped off.

“I know,” you sighed, closing your menu. You’d been to this place a few times and always got the same thing; you weren’t sure why you kept checking the menu as if something would have changed. “I really wanted to go, but they’ll already be down an anesthesiologist that week so they really can’t afford to let me go for too long.”

“Are you ladies ready to order?” Your server asked, pen and paper ready and after you’d ordered and handed over your menu’s, conversation resumed.

“So, what’s dad doing right now? Laying around in his boxers?” You asked and your mother laughed.

“Most likely.”

“Gross.” Ella scoffed and your mother poked her in the side.

“Hey now, I happen to really enjoy that view.”

“Double gross!” Ella complained and you sipped at your lemonade. It was nice being with your family again, even though your father was currently not here. It had been months since you’d seen them all together, months since you’d had enough time saved up to take off and drive home for a few days. You were trying to get as much guided experience as you could while you still had someone supervising your every move. Taking extra time off just wasn’t reasonable right now.

“Is Michael at work today?” You asked, watching as your sister thanked the waiter and sipped at the martini he’d just brandished.

“Yeah, I didn’t want him here anyway. It’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding. I don’t need any bad juju on my special day.”

“You don’t really believe in that stuff, do you?” Your mother teased and Ella nodded earnestly.

“Totally! I’ve got my apartment all set up to invite positive feng shui in and I do yoga every morning and night. It’s really brought a lot of clarity to my mind.”

“I should probably do some yoga.” You mused, staring off across the street at nothing in particular. “Could use some relaxation.”

“Maybe a massage would be better,” your mom grinned, “last time I tried yoga, I pulled a hamstring.”

“Well, you obviously weren’t doing it right.” Ella huffed, “It’s meant to center your mind, not hurt you.”

“Tell that to the high lunge.” She giggled. 

**

The dress shop was beautifully air conditioned. You could feel a bead of sweat sink into your bra and you grimaced. Ella looked like she’d walked straight into heaven, the lady at the door greeting the three of you with water bottles and a smile.

You took the proffered bottle from its tray, gulping half of it down before following after the woman in charge of your sisters dress alterations. She rambled on excitedly about the recent finishing touches to your dresses and you nodded as though you were listening, walking into the backroom where small changing rooms were draped in white curtains for privacy.

“Your dress is just over here.” She directed, showing Ella to the large bridal room and Ella followed after with a squeal of delight. Her dress was draped elegantly over the bodice of a mannequin that honestly did the lace no justice and you watched your sister flit like a bird around every side to inspect the work.

“Your beading is so exquisite, Darcy.” She cried warmly and the seamstress hummed happily.

“Let’s try it on, shall we?”

Ella nodded enthusiastically, dropping her (most likely expensive) purse unceremoniously on the floor and beginning to strip from her clothing. Darcy chuckled, closing the draping quickly so your sister could get ready in privacy.

Both your mother and yourself sat on a bench against the wall opposite and chatted softly while you waited; listening to the little gasps and squeaks of your sister as she was fastened into her gown.

“Oh, it’s beautiful!” She called over the top of the curtain and your mother shouted out her enthusiasm to see it.

Darcy pulled back the curtain and your mother gasped, running to meet your sister where she stood on a pedestal looking like a princess. “You look so beautiful!” She said, already teary eyed and you walked to meet them with a smile, rubbing the soft lace of your sister’s dress gently between the tips of your fingers.

“You look like a princess.” You agreed and Ella beamed.

“It’s perfect.” She sighed, twirling the skirt and eyeing herself in the mirror. “I feel like I’m living in a fairytale.”

“Let’s get you ladies in your dresses as well and see if we need to do anymore tune ups.” Darcy said and both you and your mother walked to your own dressing rooms to be helped into your dresses. Your dress was a lavender floor length with off the shoulder sleeves and it made you feel unreasonably beautiful.

“You look gorgeous.” Ella whispered and you turned to find her behind you, surveying the fabric of your dress. “If I didn’t know that Michael was so obsessed with me I’d be concerned.”

You chuckled, shaking your head at her. “Don’t be ridiculous. No one will even know I’m in the room if you’re there. You look gorgeous; Michael is gonna die.”

“Do you think it fits me well?” She murmured and you smiled, nodding.

“Like a glove.”

“Look at my girls.” Your mother crowed, walking towards you in a dress like your own. “You both look so beautiful.”

“We get it from our mom.” Ella teased and your mother laughed.

“And don’t you forget it!”

“How do your dresses feel?” Darcy asked, approaching your circle. “Any modifications?” She pinched at the fabric of your dress as she surveyed the fit and you allowed her to manhandle you.

“Actually, my dress feels like it fits perfectly, as long as I don’t gain any weight.” You smoothed your fingers down the silk idly.

Darcy moved on to the other two dresses, pinching and surveying as she went and you twisted in the mirror to see the back of the dress.

“You said you work later tonight, right?” Ella asked as she was led back to her own dressing room and you followed.

“Yeah, I work at 5pm. I’ll have to leave as soon as we’re done with this fitting.”

Darcy waved one of the other attendings over, “Can you assess her dress? She’s running on a time limit.”

The woman nodded, ushering you back to your own dressing room and you stood up on the little stool in the center so that she could go over the details of your dress one final time before the wedding.

“So you’ve got somewhere to be soon?” She asked casually, sitting down beside the end of your dress with a pin between her teeth.

“Ah, yeah, I’ve got work later. I’m an anesthesiologist at the hospital.”

“You must be very busy,” She hummed and you nodded, watching her work.

“Yeah, I mean, it can definitely get crazy sometimes. I guess we’ll see how everything goes tonight.” You mused.

“I’m rooting for you.” She smiled up at you.

**

It wasn’t very often that the hospital was still. It was eerie in its solitude. Empty hallways, the nurse’s station busy with conversation. You were back in the maternity ward this evening. Not many rooms were occupied tonight; no babies ready to be born. You had one caesarean scheduled in two hours and a whole lot of free time.

You could hear the cry of a baby in a room as you passed; disquietude with its currently mortal journey. “Bored?” One of the nurses called and you smiled with a nod, “Come chat.” She waved you over and you complied with ease.

“How are you, Jane?” You inquired softly. Jane was young, mid-twenties, and fresh with enthusiasm. Her hair was wild in its bun, like she’d thrown it up in a hurry, but she smiled bright and that comforted you.

“I’m great,” she beamed, twisting the engagement ring around her finger idly. “Josh and I just put an offer in on a house!”

“That’s amazing!” You smiled, leaning across the desk. “I wish I could afford a house, but my apartment will have to do for now.”

“Honestly, the only reason we could afford to do it is because Josh sold that app he was developing. Got 3 million for it. Crazy, right?”

“3 million?” You spluttered, “Oh my gosh, I wish I could develop an app.”

Jane laughed, “Me too, but I have no talent for that sort of thing.”

“Me neither.” You mused.

“So how have you been, Y/N? I heard about you and Jimin. I’m so sorry.”

Your heart seized at the mention of his name, but you mustered a smile; you knew she meant well. Jane didn’t have an unkind bone in her body.

“I’m OK,” you answered honestly, “work keeps me pretty distracted. It’s just gonna take some time to learn my new normal.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up,” Jane frowned, “That was thoughtless of me.”

“It’s OK,” you reassured, “I know you, Jane, you didn’t mean any harm.”

“Just because I meant well doesn’t mean it was right. I’m sorry. I wish I could ease the pain.”

“I wish you could too,” you chuckled, “You sure Josh is the one? Not me?”

Jane giggled, “That’s what my wrist says, anyway.” She tapped at her tattoo and you grinned.

“Dang. He’s a lucky guy.” You sighed deep. “Well, I’m gonna go sit in the break room for a bit and rest my feet.”

“Get yourself a snack, too!” She called and you waved a goodbye.

The breakroom was quiet when you entered, one resident sprawled prostrate across the couch as its only occupant. You made your way to the vending machine, peering into the spirals, chaining snacks in place. Nothing of real substance; but there were pretzels.

After retiring to the couch with your snack, you allowed the silence to wash over you. It still didn’t feel real that Jimin was no longer around. Even in a new apartment, his absence was like a nail in your heart. You wondered if you’d ever feel better. Ever feel normal again.

Maybe if Jungkook- no, there was no point in thinking that way. He’d made his decision, you just needed to let that go. You couldn’t hold on to someone you weren’t even sure wanted you back. It was just another kind of heartache you didn’t need right now.

Back in high school you could have never imagined this future. A future in which your enemy was your soulmate and you were the one that was sad that he didn’t want to try for…more. It was frustrating just how devastated that made you feel.

The crunch of your pretzels filled your head like a drum and you stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. You could hear the soft snores of the sleeping resident and you wished that you could be like him. So many people said eventually you’d be able to just tune it all out and fall asleep, but you preferred the comfort of a bed and a couch that gave you a crick in the neck would never do.

The door to the breakroom opened and Jungkook walked sluggishly inside. He hadn’t noticed you, fiddling with something in the pocket of his scrubs. He walked up to survey the vending machine and you took the opportunity to watch him.

He looked tired; the kind of worn you could only get from working 18 straight hours without rest. His shoulders sagged with his fatigue and his eyelids drooped. He settled on a bag of chips before turning and spotting you.

“Oh. I didn’t see you there,” he walked towards you, motioning to the spot beside you. “Do you mind if I-?”

You shook your head, motioning for him to sit down and he slumped into the seat with a puff of exhaustion. “Long day?”

“The longest.” He nodded, slowly opening his bag of chips and munching on the end of one as his vision blurred on the floor.

“How long have you been here?” You asked softly, hoping your voice wasn’t loud enough to wake the sleeping resident on the opposite couch.

Jungkook shrugged, eyes still trained on the tile floor. “Probably 16 hours, maybe longer. I’m honestly not sure what time it is.”

You glanced down at your watch, humming. “It’s 9pm.”

He was slouched, docile like a doll in the lumpy cushions of the couch beneath you and you smiled down at him. You remembered how exhausted you were when you very first started. You were still exhausted most of the time, but now it was like a film over a window pane that you’d become accustomed to.

“How long does the exhaustion last for?” He asked, looking over at you and you shrugged.

“Probably forever.” You mumbled and he frowned.

“Encouraging.”

You chuckled, staring right back. “Sorry. To be fair, the load does lessen and it’s easier to function like a human, but it takes time. We’ve all got to put in our grunt work; it makes you appreciate things more.”

“Life’s never easy.” He nodded, tracing the edges of his chip bag. “I definitely agree that timing is everything and sometimes if you have to wait for something for a long time and work really hard for it…it’s more worthwhile because you’ve earned it. You know?”

He turned to look at you and suddenly you felt like his question was more than just surface level. “What if you work for something and you never end up getting it?” You asked softly.  “You work so hard for so long and have these big dreams and it just…never materializes?”

“Then I suppose it wasn’t meant to be.”

“It seems like even destiny has become a liar at times.” You sighed, but you couldn’t look away from him.

Jungkook shook his head, “I think sometimes it just takes a little longer for fate to work its magic.”

“Maybe,” you mumble, watching as his eyes traced along the shape of your face, “Jungkook, I-”

Suddenly, someone is yawning loudly and you jumped, turning to see the resident you’d completely forgotten about sitting up, scrubbing at his face tiredly. Dr. Amari smiled over at you, grin lopsided and drooping with fatigue.

“Evening Dr. Y/N, Dr. Jeon. That power nap was exactly what I needed.” He groaned, adjusting himself on the coach so that he was no longer on his front before pulling the table beside him forward and rifling through pages he’d apparently left there before falling asleep.

Jungkook chuckled to himself softly before standing and adjusting his scrubs. “I should go. I only had a few minutes to rest anyway. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

You nodded, mute, and watched as he left back out the door he’d come in. The room returned to its previous solitude and you sighed. It was going to be such a long night.

**

Next chapter is THE chapter so look forward to that!

Let me know what you think, my loves <3

Chapter 14

Chapter 16

Copyright © 2018 by Taeken-My-Heart. All rights reserved.

[emma-nation]

Unfinished Business - F!Sam x MC Fanfiction

Summary: When Sam Dalton is caught in a scandal, Anna Schuyler is the only one who can help her. But will her former nanny be able to leave the past behind?

"Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake."

Genre: Angst, Romance

Notes: Hell yeah, three ongoing multichapter fics. I'm so screwed 😎

Tag List: If you wish to be tagged in future chapters and fics of this pairing, let me know.

"I can't do this anymore, Sam," Anna did the best to avoid her eyes. With the right look, they could melt the ice that had formed around her heart for the last few weeks. One look could make things warm again, but only for some time. Time enough for her to open up and fall in love once more, immediately followed by the realization all of that was nothing more than an illusion. She'd be fooling herself again.

This time she just had enough. It was the end.

"Anna, I'm sorry," the CEO didn't know very well what to say. Despite her usual calm voice tone, Anna could sense the nervousness in her words. "But Sofia is my wife."

"And I'm only the nanny."

"This is not what I meant. We just... we allowed ourselves to get too carried away. It was good while it lasted but now, we must face reality."

It was just a dream. Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake.

----------

Anna collected her stuff from the desk, giving one last emotional glance to the classroom in front of her. Before leaving for Summer, her fourth grade students had prepared her a small surprise. A little party with cake, snacks and a "Thank You, Ms. Schuyler" sign hanging in the back of the room. They also drew her some cards, which she saved for when she got home. It could become very emotional for her workplace.

"Anna," the principal appeared at the door, catching her attention, "I came here to congratulate you. It was your first year as a Science teacher in our school and you captivated all the kids, as well as their parents."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Rockwell," Anna smiled. "I love working with children and now I see I made the right decision taking this job. This year was the most rewarding experience of my life."

"So we can expect you to return next year? I'm sorry, the parents keep me asking this question all the time."

"Absolutely!"

"They'll be glad to hear that. Have a nice Summer, Ms. Schuyler."

After living in New York for the last two years, Anna was finally ready to drive to her mother's home in Rhode Island. They both had saved enough money for a road trip across the country. Her mom deserved to live that dream after caring for her ill step-dad for some long months, until his recovery.

When she arrived at her apartment, her best friend, Jenny, was still at work. What meant she'd have enough time to finish packing without having to stop to hear the latest gossip about the company she worked for, or unsolicited dating advice.

"But first," Anna pulled the small pile of cards from inside her purse, "let me cry my eyeballs out."

And she did. She learned how to love and connect to each one of her students. Those cards need to be kept in a special place, where she'd always be able to read them and remember the sweet moments she shared with those children.

Grabbing a box in her closet, Anna accidentally came across a picture of the Dalton twins. She didn't even remember where she had placed it, when she was getting rid of everything related to that family. All she wanted was to keep those boys' memory out of sight. She missed them too much for words. They were the reason why she accepted that job as a teacher in first place.

"I wonder how different they must look now," she thought. "They're already nine."

With a tightness in her chest, Anna placed the picture back in its secret spot.

"I still can't believe you're really going!" Later that evening, Jenny complained in the living room, where she divided her attention between painting her nails and watch TV.

"Well, it's time for you to come with terms with that. I'm only returning by the end of Summer," Anna responded from the kitchen, while she finished washing the dishes.

"Anna, we could have the Summer of our lives. Think about all the hot men and women you could meet, all the parties we could attend..."

"I promised my mom, okay? We've been planning this trip since I finished college."

Jenny was suddenly teleported back to her side, wrapping her arms around her like a clingy teddy bear.

"But I'm gonna miss you," she spoke with a mournful voice.

"I'll miss you too," Anna assured her. "I'll keep you updated on every detail. Don't worry."

"I know your mom is going with you but... Anna, it's time for you to find someone. Even if it's only a one night stand."

"This is not the main purpose of this trip. This isn't about my sex life, I want my mom to relax."

"It has been two years, for god's sake."

"I know. And I'm glad I've set my priorities straight, I live with my best friend in a nice apartment, I got this amazing job and I love my students. I don't need anyone else in my life to be happy. I am happy."

Jenny rolled her eyes, crawling back to the couch. She should know it was useless to bring up this subject. Anna's heart was indefinitely closed for balance. If that was one thing she learned from her last experience was that shouldn't open up so easily.

"Shut the hell up!"

Jenny yelling so loud in the living room, made Anna almost drop the plate she was holding.

"You need to come here right now and watch this," she added.

"I'm sorry, Jenny. You're not getting me into that steamy TV show you're always obsessing about."

"It's a really good TV show, okay? But it doesn't matter at the moment. You need to watch the latest news!"

Jenny was actually watching the news. Nothing good could've happened to spark that sudden interest. That had to be something stupid or celebrity gossip. Against her best judgment, Anna approached the TV.

"If that's something silly, I'll kill you for interrupting my tasks!" Anna's mouth suddenly dropped when she read the headline on her screen. "Oh."

"Dalton Enterprises Scandal: CEO Sam Dalton accused of insider trading."

Images of police officers closing the company and carrying out boxes and computers for further investigation appeared on the screen. As well as Sam being conducted to the officer's car while journalists and photographers chased after her.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?! Mrs. Perfect is going down!"

Anna didn't answer to her best friend. She was still trying to process what her eyes were watching. Her heart seemed to stop for a second as the camera focused on Sam's face. In just a few seconds, her eyes had the desperate need to capture every detail. She wanted to know if she looked any different, if she had changed her hair or even her clothes. She wanted to know if some make-up was trying to hide the bags under her eyes for lack of sleep, or if she had been so happy with her marriage she was appearing even younger. Any minor signs that would make her mind create a possible scenario of what Sam's life could be right now.

She hadn't seen or heard of Samantha since quitting her nanny job. Though it was difficult, she managed to avoid any news related to the Dalton Enterprises CEO. They didn't part in good terms, yet one thing she was sure about, Sam was a decent person. She would never get involved in such a scandal. She had a reputation to keep.

"I... I don't know what to say," Anna was finally able to mumble some words. "Honestly I don't think she'd do that. There must be a misunderstanding."

"Anna! Are you seriously defending her?! After everything she's done to you?"

"No. I just..." Two years had passed since the wedding. Anna realized a lot could've changed. Sam could've changed. She had changed. "Maybe you're right."

As she lied in bed, millions of thoughts started running through her mind. What would be of the boys? Who would have their custody in case Sam went to jail, her parents or Sofia? Could Sofia or Robin have any involvement in that scandal?

Anna didn't get any sleep that night. When she woke up in the morning she was still exhausted.

The apartment was silent and peaceful. Jenny had already left to work. She was alone. No one would witness or even judge her next action. After preparing herself some coffee she sat down and started to research more about the insider trading scandal.

"I'm not interested, only curious," she mentally assured herself as thousands of articles started showing on her laptop screen.

Not only Sam was being accused to cheat on Sofia with another woman, but she tried to cover up the affair by giving her mistress a check to purchase Dalton Enterprises stocks. The launch of a new and revolutionary product in the coming weeks would surely grant her some cash. In the following days of the launch, the woman and her husband made millions of dollars.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Sam?"

The trials were scheduled for the next few weeks, and in case of conviction, the CEO could spend over 20 years in prison.

Only a couple of days later, Anna was in the garage placing all her luggage inside the trunk. She had to leave immediately, for her own sanity. The scandal was a great reason to stay away from New York City. The television wouldn't stop talking about that subject, or show the face of the woman she once loved.

"Dammit," entering the car, Anna noticed she had forgotten her cell phone upstairs. The latest events had impacted her more than they should. She was constantly distracted and anxious, secretly following the last developments of the case.

She picked up her phone, returned to the car and turned on the radio. Playing some loud music always helped her to relax. The crowded streets and the buildings slowly started to stay behind as the road approached.

"And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left..."

Anna sang aloud, completely involved by the song. And then, her eyes almost missed it. Through the rearview mirror she saw a blur moving on the back seat.

"What the..." she needed to remain calm and act cautiously. The roads were impressively calm and deserted, a perfect scenario for murder, like in every horror movie. She slowly slipped her hand into her purse, grabbing the pepper spray. "I'm not one of those chicks who die so easily."

In one sudden fast move, she stomped on the breaks and turned around, spraying whoever was hiding behind her seat.

"Anna!" She was able to take a better look. The figure was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. "Stop, please!"

She was able to recognize that voice even among millions of people. The years hadn't erased it from her memories.

"S-Sam..." Anna pulled the disguise, confirming her suspicions, "what are doing here? In my back seat?"

"I can explain."

"You better."

She returned to the driver's seat, attempting to relax. Samantha Dalton was inside her car, for some very screwed up reason.

"I know it's strange," and now she had moved to the passenger seat, being at a short distance from her. Close enough to notice how her presence was making her nervous. Close enough to notice she wasn't breathing. Close enough to see her hands shaking. "But I needed you to hear me."

"You could've called, Samantha. Or even showed up at my door! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You wouldn't answer. Would you?"

And that was it. One look and all the walls melted away. Her heart started beating faster, reminding her of the moments they shared two years before.

"No," Anna answered, fighting those feelings. "I wouldn't."

"I need your help, Anna," Sam touched her arm briefly, but enough to know she'd cause impact. "I'm in serious trouble and you're the only one that can help me."

[fipindustries]

advice for my younger self

listening to that playlist i shared earlier today really got me in the mindframe of me back in my first years of college when i was barely starting to learn what it was to be an adult. and thinking about that i thought of some thing i would ike to say to that person, some bits of basic wisdom that without getting too specific or too monumental would have made a big difference. things that i know i wouldnt have figured out on my own until it was too late.

 this is not about specific mistakes i made but more general attitudes that i should have carried with me back then. most of this is going to be very particular and make sense only to me but if you are interested keep reading.

1) you dont have to complete your carrer in five years, you can take six or seven or ten years to do it, your parents would have assisted you all the same

1.a) as for studying, for christ sake dont just read the textbooks, if you are giving a big test and specifically if its a big oral lesson, write it down before hand, prepare a speech, write a monologue, practisce it, memorize it. prepare specifically what you are going to say when you are in front of the teachers, dont try to just “learn” it and hope that you’ll be able to recall it during the test

1.b) you dont have to take every single course in the semester, you can pick two or three you are really interested in, let the others by the wayside, pick them up later, use the free time to really study properly or get a simple part time job if you can, i know its sounds scary and like its a lot of responsability and like it diverges wildly from the plan you have for your life but trust me, its a lot easier than it sounds

2) dont be afraid of mental illness. is not as scary as it looks form the outside in. you are not gonna go insane, you are not going to get lost in a false world of delusion where you can never know what is real and what isnt. reality asserts itself, things calm down, it goes away. you get through it and you realize is not that bad from the other side. mental illness is a lot more common than you think, a lot more widespread than you think and a lot more manageable that you think. is not the end of the world and is not the end of your world either.

2.a) dont be afraid of the therapist, you will actually enjoy it a lot. it doesnt mean there is something terribly wrong or broken with you. its not shameful. they are smart and trained and they are glad to hear you talk. they are not going to force you into anything you dont want, they are not going to turn you into someone else, they are not going to send you to a mad house. their primary goal is that you be comfortable and at peace with yourself. go to a therapist.

3) keep your eyes open for any boardgame clubs. ask around, i know for a fact there is at least one in every city you’ve lived, maybe not yet at the time of you reading this but there will be. if you find them, join. they are the best thing that has ever happened to you.

4) if you happen to have sexual partners (and im not saying you definetly will) make sure they have a good time. ask what they want and do it for them. make sure they cum, seriously. stay with them. spend time together. cuddle in bed. they are having sex with you so the least you can do is have sex with them as well.

4.a) and by that same token, if you are in a relationship dont doubt to ask for sex too! be open about that, be forthcomming, but do be respectful. and if they say no or that they dont like to do that you should probably end the relationship, you are not going to be happy with them.

4.b) dont be afraid to try on womens clothes, you have my blessing, explore your femmenine side, try on make up. try on the fake boobies. do silly frilly pinky femmenine stuff. i know it’s just a weird fetish for you but if you have a partner be open with them about this and if they are supportive or want to help you explore this take full advantage. and dont worry, its not some dirty disgusting terrible secret that must be hidden from everyone. your friends and family are going to be ok with it if it ever comes out but dont feel is some dark secret that you must confess either, its your bussiness and for you to figure out at your own pace (also, hey, weird tip, i know it will sound absolutely nonesensical to you but did you know there are a lot of trans women who are trans without expiriencing dysphoria, just a fun fact i wanted to share with you :) )

5) dont be afraid of SJWs, they are not going to take away your games, they are not going to ruin cartoons or art or books or movies. masterpieces will still come out, well written, well drawn, well programmed and well animated masterpieces that you will love. you will be amazed at how easy is to ignore those people and how irrelevant they actually are once you stop following them on tumblr and once you stop going to twitter. 

5.a) if you think politics is stupid or cancerous now, wait until 2016, ok?

5.b) learn to apologize and own up to your mistakes. if a friend or an acquaintance is telling you that you are being an asshole online dont get defensive, just drop it and move on. dont make a huge deal out of it and dont engage in long protracted discussions online. just dont, you will embitter yourself, this is particularly salient because to this day you are having problems with this one, though not as frequently as you used to.

6) this one is more superficial i think because overall you did well on your own without advice from the future but... trust in your art. you will will amaze yourself with the things you will create. you ARE going to get a LOT better at what you do and you will learn a lot of things you never thought you would be able to master. you are going to become an amazing artist (that doesnt necesarily mean a financially succesful one or  a widely known one but you will be good at it and, trust me, that is what matters)

7) i know you’ve heard this one a million times but this one is cheating because i am from the future and i know this for a fact, you will be ok. things will work out, you will, time and again, find the way to fall on your feet, your family and friends will be there to catch you. you have a safety net, you are very lucky in that regard, dont take it for granted but it is there. you are not gonna end up homeless in the streets or raped in a dark alley or expelled on in prison or in a mental hospital, so relax and stop being so scared. you have ten very weird years ahead of you so good luck with that.

ps: you are going to meet a girl named zoe, she’s great, she’s the best. dont go live to hear apartment if you dont have a stable job and able to pay your own rent. and if you do make sure you moved out of it by february of 2020. if fact if at all possible, try not to be in cordoba by 2020. you are going to be fine as long as you are careful, you are not gonna die, i repeat YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE. but do be extremely careful. thats it, godspeed.

[hqgolden]

hello loves!

so we have mentioned a few things in the discord, but as always that is not official until you see it here. the two topics are character additions & a gossip blog. i’m going to put everything under a read more since this will probably get long, but there is a poll linked beneath that i want you to vote on after you’ve read through what these proposed ideas are!

on character additions:

i originally had a low limit because personally, i didn’t think i would be able to handle that many muses. with the help of the others & my other roleplays closing / being left, that is no longer the case. i personally prefer to play close to ten characters, however i am not willing to let that be the case here. i know we seem to have polls for character additions often, and the last one was pretty close, but i want to explain some things about this final proposal.

the final character per player cap is suggested to be raised to 6. however with these final two muses comes extra guidelines. as an admin team we will require them BOTH to be diverse, so body diverse, age diverse (35+), non-cis, gender diverse, or people of color. these two have nothing to do with your already standing ratio, it does not matter what your other characters are, these diversity rules apply to muses five & six specifically. additionally to even be allowed these muses, you must not have been on an activity check or hiatus in a week, and it must be 5 days after you were granted your fourth character (from their follow if you submitted an account or their acceptance if you are using a multi-muse).

and we as admins will be monitoring your activity. if you have shown a tendency to only rp with certain people, extremely favor ships, or post just to pass checks, we can deny you.  i don’t want this to sound too harsh, but 6 characters is a lot to handle and we aren’t willing to let people who are already struggling or barely posting to get that high. you all know how strict i am about not allowing people to just hog spaces here.

and this will be the very last allowance for a character cap raise. i typically hate saying things like this because i do admit that circumstances change and maybe we might raise it in the future, but i have no plans to allow this cap to raise anytime soon. the only reason i am willing to do it now is because we aren’t as full as we were when we opened and so i don’t see an issue in allowing a member who can be dedicated to six characters and actively play them to hold those spaces.

so yeah, here is that poll. we will let it run for a full 24 hours before decisions are made.

on a gossip blog:

gossip blogs can be a lot of fun, however they can also cause a lot of toxicity in a roleplay. as an admin who has run one, i often would find myself sort of stuck when i would get an anon about a character that was particularly nasty. when i reached out to the player about it, turns out 90% of the time they are the ones that sent it.

so my proposal is to allow a gossip blog that sort of operates more like  a news letter where the admins compile the gossip and post it. we might still answer asks, but in a format that the original ask is no posted, and here’s why:

any gossip sent in will only be off anon & you can only bring up your own characters. this way the admins can ensure that you are comfortable with what is being shared and said, and it completely removes the ability of someone to bully another character on anon. as admins we may come up with additional things to post based off of threads we’ve read or chats in the discord, but we will approach all members involved to get permission before just posting anything about your character.

this blog will be silly, and fun, with things like “lost chinchilla found on 8th floor” not just who is hooking up with each other. this is meant to be a fun addition, not a toxic place where only “popular” characters are mentioned. and by having members be responsible for sending things in about their characters, it removes a lot of issues that i think are what cause the blog to end up being about the same characters.

also i doubt we will do any type of superlative things, in fact we are pretty against it. so none of that “best smile,” “top 5 prettiest,” or any fmk stuff.

so yeah, just like with above here is that poll, we will let it run for a full 24 hours at least before deciding anything.

pretty please <3 this post once you have voted!