#granted I have ocd
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i want to hear about people's cog ocs that aren't managers. who are your weird little worker guys. please tell me...
#cogblr#toonblr#toontag#mine#please...#i understand why managers are over saturating the cog tags bc they're neat#but what about the weird little bean counter#i actually made a bean counter oc as a joke. his name is grant and he has cog ocd whatever that entails#(i have numbers ocd so i thought it would be funny)
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay but imagine the documentaries about Harrow
I'm procrastinating finishing tonight's doodle- I know there's a few fics out there that have poked at this, usually in a fun, meta light, but I'm being dead serious here.
The news about Harrow and everything that happened in Egypt would almost certainly break eventually. And while I'm fully confident some of the stuff is probably just a normal Tuesday in the MCU, I feel like The literal worldwide cult would catch plenty of attention. I don't think anything like that has really appeared in the MCU at this point (correct me if I'm wrong.). Now, obviously, we can assume that some of the particular instances of real cults that have happened in our world have at least happened in this world to some extent (The MCU likes to play fast and loose with history, like how Pearl Harbor for sure happened in this world but then WWII took a whole other turn - that's a whole other tangent I could go on.) and we can rightfully assume True Crime is a thing in this world (I mean, we know fan spaces for Superheros exist within this world, it would only make sense if this kind of thing exists for other subjects and such.) so logically, there's going to be documentaries on those historical cults. ...what would those for Harrow's even look like? How much do we even know about Harrow's followers? What if they're in various governments around the world? That's..utterly terrifying to think about, actually.
We never even really get the name for it. Everyone always just calls it 'Harrows followers' and such. Something to do with Ammit, mayhaps? And even assuming there is a name decided on in universe, are the streaming services the same in the MCU? We know Star Wars exists (Thanks Peter Parker for unintentionally making an entire fandoms heads hurt!) does Disney+ exist? What about Netflix? Hulu? Are they called that or something else? Putting ALL OF THAT aside, it would have to be a docuseries. Maybe an episode about the very beginnings of it? A section devoted to educating people on what they'd need to know about Ancient Egypt to even understand what's happening? Discussions of the 'Mysterious Stranger(s)' who appeared during the Battle in Cairo and are (presumably) yet to be seen again? The sky over Egypt (and presumably most of the rest of the Western Hemisphere) turning back? The mystery surrounding Harrow's death? I don't know, this is just one of those things my brain has really latched onto as a concept and I don't know why but now you have to think about it too!
#I can't classify this as a ramble can I?#I'm not sure if the term Hyperfixation can apply to me as someone with OCD#but I sure as hell seem to be having some equivalent to it!#but seriously this idea lives rent-free in my head#if you'd like to add to this please do#marvel#mcu#moon knight#marc spector#jake lockley#steven grant#arthur harrow#sorry gotta cover my basis
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Btw I haven’t stopped thinking about Link’s most recent teen fact. I know it was funny silly! Lincoln sneaks in to clean his dads’ bedroom! But also. it made me SO sad 😭💔 I’m almost always sad when we learn more about the Grant and Marco’s relationship bc wow yeah the Wilsons never change :( For all of Grant’s efforts to communicate better with his son, to do a better job at that than Darryl and Carol did, he doesn’t communicate with his husband! He outright lies to his family! And now we know that Marco also doesn’t really communicate that well lol
#I know this does for EVERY family in dndads#that’s like. how generational cycles work#but I am just very extra sad about Grant specifically okay#he’s my special boy 😔 lmaooo#ps: do NOT get me started on Lincoln cleaning his parents’ bedroom.. needing to have a way to say goodnight again just in case….#him being obsessed with vaccines and nootropics lol#he is so much MORE ocd than Grant. and in all the same ways as Darryl. it makes me emotional#ahem anyway#this post appeals to me exclusively but whatever#chalcy stuff#dndads#dungeons and daddies#I don’t think this needs to be tagged as spoilers?#it’s been like three weeks so shrug
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#vent post#vent blogging#Seven’s Public Diary#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by thinking of the Freedom and independence a license would grant me? ❌ 1/10 ineffective#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by imagining all the new & different possible ways i could become injured in a car crash?#✅ 7/10 it just might fucking work!!!#the only true cure for OCD is to face one’s fears. but i just might be able to find a loophole via my ever-worsening mental health#because you don’t have to Face your fears if you don’t Have any fears#and in order to rid myself of my fears regarding harm coming to myself. i simply have to stop fearing being harmed#and what better way to stop fearing it than to actively crave it!#or at the very least become so overwhelmed that i lose the capacity to feel any particular way about it#i’ve found a new OCD cure everybody - Just Stop Caring™️ /sarc#well. sarcastic or joking for everyone else. but im serious when it applies to me#bc so much of my anxiety comes from feeling unsafe. so i just have to reach the point where i stop caring if im safe or not. easy peasy#like yes i know this is flawed and unhealthy logic but i’ve resisted more compulsions via this method lately than i have via anything else#and even outside of OCD stuff even just for all my other anxiety disorders it’s also worked. im actually making a modicum of progress now#need to make a scary phone call? just get into a 3-hour family argument and then you’ll be so upset that you don’t feel fear! :)#genuinely worked very well. scared of a home invasion? well at least it’d mean you’d have some different company for once!#you might make a new friend! or if they **** you at least you’d have some Real trauma for once. it’s a win-win honestly …/hj#so. scared to drive? well even if you Do crash at least it might lead to a hospital visit and then you’ll finally get that attention you-#-want so fucking badly! you’ll finally get a break from everything while you recover. or even if you don’t survive- well. i shan’t say.#anyways. the ‘you’ in those tags is me talking to myself for the record. i wouldn’t speak to anyone else like this. i just speak in the-#-wrong tense/person sometimes. don’t know what’s up with that. just another reason i need to stop speaking altogether. as i’ve learned#i’ve been trying So fucking hard to be nice lately. letting them walk all over me. and it’s still not enough. cause i’m always-#-‘using the wrong tone’ and ‘if all im gonna do is say smthn negative i just shouldn’t speak at all’ ..okay! gladly!!!#sorry for being autistic and unsocialized and under immense stress and being unable to keep my ‘tone’ under control. my bad.#i just need to get blackout drunk with Venti at Angel’s Share. that would fix me.#that or heading down to the bottom of the Fortress of Meropide and curl up like a dog under Wriothesley’s desk. head empty no thoughts#not sexually. just. in a pet-regression sense. i can’t stop thinking abt it. i wanna write a oneshot for it but i can’t focus these days#anyways. the delusional maladaptive daydream dissociation will continue until morale improves. and brother it’s only getting worse.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like those crudely drawn Chinese reaction pictures of a horrified face super imposed onto a panda

^ This specifically
#꒰🥀꒱ ❝ Tragic Prose ❞#kids don’t be like me. having OCD is all fun and games until you actually have it#oh to be the sort of ‘quirky organized neat freak’ OCD with the ‘quirky impulsive thoughts’ intrusive thoughts#instead of the ‘EVERYONE IS MAD AT ME FOR COUGHING TOO LOUD’ OCD#or the ‘I want to tell this person on the internet I disagree with to run their car in a garage with the doors closed’ intrusive thoughts#granted I feel like a lot of these kinda just chalk up to ol’ regular shmegular anxiety but OCD is just the DLC pack of anxiety#and I know I know If You Register Your Intrusive Thoughts As Harmful That Means They Don’t Indicate Your Character#which y’know is a great sentiment! doesn’t make them all the more blood vessel popping#I’ll endure I’ll be fiiiiine I’m kinda just going stark raving mad over here
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i would greatly appreciate if the ocd would stop expanding the limits/shrinking the parameters of my wardrobe so that i could stop having meltdowns about my outfits on a daily basis.
#brain things#ocd#it's like. if my brain decides an item is Nice then we can't wear it bc we'll mess it up and ruin it#we have to wait for a mythical Good Day in order to wear the Ideal Outfit.#god forbid i sweat cry need to pee or feel the slightest bit sick or uncomfortable while wearing a Good Item#then it will be Ruined Forever#this has been a thing for me since i was like. six.#i remember going into my closet and touching a dress i'd deemed Fancy and thinking ''wow so pretty sad i'll never get to wear u''#currently this also extends to if an outfit makes me feel Good about Gender or Myself then i can't wear it out#i'm AWARE it's crazy idk how to stop it i'll ask my therapist next time in the meanwhile i spend a solid 20 min every morning#trying on outfits i'm too scared to wear outside bc that's ''wrong'' somehow#(granted it IS mid-80s here and humid as fuck so lately wearing as little as possible has been the primary goal)#one of the times i saw myself in fiction was in bllb when#they think they've found glendower and gansey is So Upset bc the Vibes Are All Wrong and he's wearing a sweater he hates#i feel u gansey. that is me so often. or vice versa.#when i wear a good outfit and then the day fucking sucks...#somehow it feels like an extra kick in the ribs#like noooooo i was supposed to be invulnerable i wore the Good Shirt!!!
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
today's therapy session was really enlightening which is obviously good but it was enlightening in kind of a freaky degree because i just figured out that something i have been doing for like the entirety of my life isn't actually a common thing and is probably representative of something not working right in my unconscious? dude i thought i was on top of my psychological shit but then it turns out something i wrote off as being emotionally inconvenient but presumably regular actually might be worth its own series of sessions like. what the fuck man.
#literally nobody told me that having intensive... fuck i dunno how even to describe it#it's like being told i Think Wrong. not like literally but something i took for granted as part of just how i think passively#actually is like... indicative of something really weird. that me and my therapist are now trying to figure out#apparently might be OCD-like which would be one hell of a realization but like. dude. i never thought it was abnormal?#like i mean part of me must have known sobbing my eyes out for two hours every day over something not really real was an issue#and then like. Lord i dunno how to even describe it. whatever#it's just so weird. i didn't think this was like a big deal.#and now it's like. waves hands emphatically do you know what i mean#just weird finding out that after four years there's still more shit i've never even talked about mentally#makes me wonder when i'll ever pump the brakes on therapy seems like i'll need it forever
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
nooooo please dont add random disorders you know nothing about and dont experience into a list on your post where you make sweeping statements about how every single neurodivergence should be viewed and treated... youre so sexy aha..
#do i believe autistic people are just fine existing as they are? absolutely and i like myself the way i am in that regard#do i feel the same way about ocd? no!! you have to work on that! it will steal your whole life away its ruining mine!#theres a big difference between even like..just those 2 things for example...i feel like ppl forget all this stuff is like#COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. with a bit of overlap but TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS#ocd negatively effects your quality of life and not because people dont respect you (granted they dont) but because leaving it unaddressed#causes traumatizing and life altering levels of anxiety and disruption and there is Nothing good about experiencing that#even if everyone in the world accepted and supported people with ocd and there was zero stigma it would STILL fuck people up
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
The constant mental tension between, “Please tell me you won’t hate me if I make bad art” and “Asking for reassurance can be a compulsion.”
#mc13 and her ocd#I'm...I'm gonna have to make good on the 'sending recordings to mutuals for Exposure Therapy' promise soon and. TERROR.#I'm also gonna have to suck it up and get over my stage (Internet?) fright in the next like. 24 hours. to post that poll propaganda song#*chanting over and over while banging pots and pans* IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE IT'S FOR A--#what's that one part of climbing uphill? it's like 'I am a good person. I'm an attractive person. I am a TALENTED PERSON. Grant me grace'#...yeah#I'm sorry I keep harping on this I just don't know what else to do besides throw my thoughts somewhere to Get Them Out
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh we do be spiraling ✨️
#love ocd#so great and fun#totally doesnt bring any stress to my life whatsoever#should I reach out to a friend? yeah. will I? mmmm probably not#''hi yes my brain is doing the thinky thoughts and I would prefer not. politely help me make the thinky thoughts stop“#granted my friends ould have to like...answer my texts first so thats not happening#but hey thats what this blog is for#to vent my frustrations anonymously in peace
0 notes
Text
#to double up on the irritability i did Not sleep so :#i saw some people being obnoxious about ocd the other day and i didn’t say anything bc im scaredddd lmao#and always feel like i’m saying too much anyway#and besides ocd isn’t like hashtag my diagnosis anyway#but#idk#i mean first of all i guess that’s kinda the point. something kinda sorta looking like a social media quip version of something isn’t. like#doesn’t make it The Thing#it did make me think about the concept of gentrifying disability again#like. it’s a net positive. that people talk about their experiences and relating to each other#and generally broadening What It Can Mean to Have A Diagnosis#but. but. lmao.#i am fucking tired this week. month. forever probably lol.#and seeing the whys treated about as seriously as my hashtag so aquarian traits is soooooooooooooooo#lmao#anyway my brain is being a hate crimer and i don’t wike it#took mundane bad for granted. bad bad is Bad.#talking 2 myself
0 notes
Text
i love ocd . paranoid my ~100 watt LEDs and my 0.64 watt string lights are gonna kill each other and by extension me just by being plugged into the same outlet
#statement.txt#its actually funny bc i had the same set up for LITERAL YEARS#but bc of high stress the past two years#my ocd is even worse and veering into paranoia#granted i have paranoia but its a separate thing. well anyways
0 notes
Text
Bro why the fuck am i getting so upset over literally nothing at all. I need to go to sleep earlier than two am this summer no wonder i was so sad
#bro im literally. crying over nothing but my own thoughts and a little bit of stress from an outside annoyance#granted i have ocd but what the fuck#personal
0 notes
Text
like most humans i have a pretty nuanced personality that can be easily barnum'd and as a young teen i was pretty open to astrology, mbti, and any other horsepiss that made me feel like i could rely on a higher power or a sorting system to help me get my shit together during a really stressful time. i regularly worsened my ocd by coordinating the appropriate healing crystal pendant for the corresponding day, hour, and moon phase, but the impetus for this was less specifically a suburban mom wellness scam thing (though this was where i sourced my finds) and more that i had extreme chuuni energy throughout my middle school years and was waiting for the correct magic crystal, hidden tarot deck, or dusty grimoire to grant me my magical wings and talking animal companion
anyway a friend did a double take at me when i nodded about their jewelry retail woes and went "yeah the moms buy amethyst for focus like hotcakes i used to press a geode to my head at age fourteen to try and treat my ocd before i knew i had ocd."
anyway anyway the actual interesting thing about amethyst is that it's purple because of iron impurities in the quartz structure
570 notes
·
View notes
Note
Having a shitty past is no excuse for being a horrible person, and Snape was a horrible person. Snape fans always try to turn him into a tragic hero, but there was nothing heroic about him when he was just an obsessive bigot who followed a group of genocidal maniacs
Well, I think I’ve said this a million times already and explained in exhausting detail why growing up in a particular environment—lacking social, emotional, economic, or essential support—and being subjected to violence during the most crucial years of cognitive development creates the perfect breeding ground for antisocial behavior. It also makes vulnerable or socially excluded youth prime targets for sectarian groups (whether religious, political, or otherwise) that prey on their situation, offering them promises of protection, safe spaces, surrogate parental figures, or social progress. These groups actively seek out kids with emotional voids caused by dysfunctional family dynamics, minimal to no financial resources, and a profound sense that the system has failed them at every turn. They offer these kids an alternative system—one that gives them a roof over their heads, a hot meal, a place to belong, and people who won’t marginalize them like the rest of society has—at the simple price of blindly following the group’s ideology. And they do it. Of course, they do. Because what other choice do they have? This group gave them life, a place in society, and restored their status as human beings.
But since I’ve spoken about this at length before and about how Severus’s life shaped his decisions, I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record. So, since I’m also reading a legal ruling I need to memorize by Friday, I’m going to indulge myself and dissertate as freely as I please—because hey, if you’re going to throw hate, I’m going to grant myself the privilege of replying however I want.
Here’s a question: why does it even matter? Seriously, what does it matter if he was a shitty person? Do you know that people go to space today thanks to the work of physicists and engineers who were literal SS members? That after WWII, all the top scientists, physicists, chemists, and engineers were granted amnesty and fast-tracked into citizenships so they could work on government projects? That people working within a stone’s throw of concentration camps are the pioneers behind some of the greatest technological advances of the 20th century? And you don’t care that the products you consume are derived from the work of collaborators with mass genocide, but you’re upset that people find a fictional character interesting? I don’t want to sound cynical, but honestly, it’s ridiculous to get so morally high and mighty about a character who doesn’t exist and who followed an extremist cult for, what? 3 or 4 years tops? and then canonically worked actively to take it down. If we put Severus in a real-world, wartime context, the guy would be a literal war hero with medals to his name. No exaggeration. If he survived, he’d be recruited with a fat paycheck to work in internal affairs for some major world power’s secret projects. That’s just how the world works.
And yeah, he was obsessive. But in an era where everyone suffers at least one anxiety episode a month, where the best-case scenario is that your panic attacks don’t spiral into chronic mental health issues—can we really judge him for that? Like, most of the people I see being ultra “snater” are folks who openly declare themselves neurodivergent, and one of the common denominators of all neurodivergence is obsessiveness. All of them. Whether it’s chronic anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, paranoid schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or autism. Every single one has an obsessive component. So it’s kind of ironic—and even hypocritical—for people who are themselves pretty obsessive (because let’s face it, we’re all compulsively doomscrolling here to soothe our anxious compulsions with little dopamine hits) to judge this character’s obsessiveness as a negative trait. Maybe let’s take a good look in the mirror, too.
And let me just say, no court would convict Severus of collaborating with a terrorist group. Not a single one. Impossible. Especially since he literally collaborated against said group, so any judge would happily clear him—not after the war, but the moment he struck his deal with Dumbledore. Severus is what’s known as an informant. He worked from the inside, exposed himself to greater dangers than regular agents. Legally speaking, there have been cases where people guilty of heinous crimes—including crimes against humanity—were let off because they provided critical information. So imagine someone like Severus, who, as far as we know, didn’t even kill anyone during his time in the group, willingly spilling the beans and agreeing to work as a spy. He’d be celebrated as a hero of war. Hell, they’d probably buy him a mansion in Florida if he wanted one. That’s just how our system works, and honestly, this kind of moralist posturing is pretty cringy because you’re talking about a guy who literally saved half of magical society’s asses and without whom the kid destined to save the world would’ve died in his first year at school.
You can dislike him or think he’s a jerk, but he was damn good at his job. And compared to the people he’s often unfairly measured against (Sirius, James, Remus...), he actually did something. They didn’t. Absolutely nothing. Contribution: negative one.
#pro severus snape#severus snape#pro snape#severus snape defense#severus snape fandom#severus snape meta#severus snape analysis#snape#snapedom#harry potter meta#harry potter
167 notes
·
View notes
Text

lord please save her for me
paige bueckers x fem oc
story info • chapter one
hi bbys! thank you for the love on chapter one, part of me wishes i never started this lmao maybe its my ocd but i hate it already but im gonna keep going but i think ill just stick to one shots once im finished with this 🤓
chapter two:
this is why leni didn’t drink often. the pounding head, dry throat, intense nausea and violent shakes were not worth it. the girl had decided that her day was going to consist of rotting on the couch. she was already wrapped in her fluffiest blanket and had netflix playing in the background. riley had left a few moments ago to go to work and leni was glad of it. she felt guilty about kissing paige last night but not guilty enough to stop fantasising about it.
paige clouded her dreams last night. coming to leni in her sleep like some sort of devine sign. she dreamed of what life was like before when paige was a constant in her life. she woke up in bed alone and cold and questioning everything.
it took leni a long time to even look at another girl after paige. but when riley asked her to go for coffee one day all leni could see was her blonde hair and light eyes. if she couldn’t have paige, she would settle for riley and that’s what she did. riley was a nice girl and treated leni well but she would never be paige and deep down, leni knew that all she was doing was filling a void.
there was short knock at lenis apartment door and she considered not answering it because she was too comfortable but she imagined it would be riley, having forgotten something or the other. wrapping the blanket around herself like a cape, she trudged to the front door and opened it without looking through the peep hole.
“paige?” leni was caught off guard seeing the basketball player at her door. hair tied into a low messy bun, grey beanie pulled over her head. she was wearing what paige always wore, sweats and a uconn huskies tee. the silver cross chain that leni was oh so familiar with, hung delicately around her neck. but something leni wasn’t familiar with was the rectangle, clear framed glasses that were perched on the bridge of paiges nose. they were new and it made leni feel something she couldn’t quite place. sadness because it showed change in paiges life that leni had no idea about? attraction because the girl in front of her looked hot as hell with her new accessory? whatever it was, leni had been thinking about it for too long and not heard what paige had said.
“so…” paige trailed off waiting for an answer to her question that had fallen on deaf ears. “sorry- what did you say? actually, what are you doing here? how do you know where i live?” leni asks a series of questions as reality hits and she realises what is going on. paige is at her apartment.
PAIGE is at HER APARTMENT.
“i said can i come in?” paige repeats herself for lenis benefit but she doesn’t wait for an answer before stepping inside. paige looks around lenis apartment, taking in the foreign view. she notices small accents that make it obvious this is where leni lives. the photobooth pictures tacked to the wall, the string lights adorning the window frame, the copious amounts of potted plants dotted around, the place was leni all over.
leni looked different from last night, obviously, but that didn’t bother paige. she always thought the tanned skin girl looked pretty in her natural state. tossled curls, makeup free skin, comfy clothes. lenis beauty had no limit and paige wished she had told her that more often.
“i didn’t actually say yes.” leni mumbles but closes the front door anyway. “how do you know where i live?” after the fallout from her and paige, leni applied to transfer accommodation and her request was granted. in her head, a new space signified a fresh start. somewhere paige hadn’t infiltrated…until this very moment. “it wasn’t easy. money was involved.” paige tells her with a nod of her head. “you paid someone to tell you where i live? that’s the kind of thing that gets someone branded as a creep.” leni says starting to feel awkward, stood in the entrance way, still wrapped in her blanket, curly hair a mess from the night before and her embarrassingly juvenile bunny slippers on her feet.
“i thought it was romantic.” leni rolls her eyes, “paige, please. i can’t have a repeat of last night. i can’t go over all this again. last night was a mistake. we were both drunk and i meant what i said. we need to go back to not knowing each other. it’s-” lenis words were rushed and messy and her heart pounded as she spoke. her body was having an adverse reaction to what she was saying. morally last night was a mistake but for someone who always lead with her heart, it wasn’t.
“i ended it with camilla.” what?
“what?” lenis brain felt like it was turning to mush. from the hangover mainly but also because of what paige had just said.
“i ended it with-“ paige begins to repeat herself but leni cuts her off.
“yeah. i heard what you said. but why would you do that paige?”
“because of you len. for you.” leni shook her head which only intensified her headache, “paige you make me laugh. not because you’re comedically funny but because you’re insane funny. you broke up with your girlfriend for me?”
“yes i broke up with her because of you. not that it matters, but we’ve only been together a few weeks. it was never going to work out. me and her, we didn’t fit. not the way you and I fit, len.” paige gestured between the them and leni understood because she felt the same about riley. both girls were searching for each other in different people. it was an impossible task because to paige no one could compare to leni and to leni no one could compare to paige.
“why now paige? why after all this time?” leni mutters, vlice soft and sweet.
“last night. seeing you. speaking to you. kissing you. i know that all means something. and you think i didn’t try? you blocked my number and my instagram and my snapchat and my tiktok, you even blocked my student email for goodness sake! real mature by the way. you moved apartments. you did everything you could to avoid me. i had given up hope and then last night…”
“last night i was drunk! do you really hate me so much that you can’t stand to see me happy? you just have to throw a spanner in the works?”
“hate? HATE?! leni you are so far off it’s ridiculous. and are you happy? are you really? because you’re doing all this shit that isn’t you. going to parties, getting drunk, you don’t have your nails done and you took your nose piercing out.” leni almost always had her nails done, the most elaborate sets too and her nose piercing was a part of her personality at this point so of course paige noticed when both were absent.
“just because i’ve changed doesn’t mean im not happy.” leni scoffed, taking steps further into the apartment. the close proximity of her and paige was beginning to get to her. she could smell her cologne, vanilla and woody. it was nostalgic.
“don’t give me that bullshit, leni. i know you more than you’d like to admit. tell me you’re genuinely happy. just say the words and i’ll let go. i’ll let you go.” paige had matched lenis steps and was just as close to her, if not closer than she was when they were by the door.
like last night, leni couldn’t say it. leni couldn’t tell paige she was happy because she wasn’t. she was comfortable. she had settled for riley. it was secure and consistent and she was content but she wasn’t happy.
lenis silence only encouraged paiges actions. paige knew if she was happy she would say it- hell, she would scream it. leni was a scorpio and a true one at that. she loved passionately and intensely and she wanted the whole world to know. if she really loved riley and was really happy, paige would have to accept that but that just wasn’t the case.
paiges movements were calculated. soft and gentle, a stark comparison to lenis rushed and needy ones last night. she cupped the shorter girls face, taking a moment to study her perfect features without the the influence of alcohol. her eyes were such a deep shade of brown, almost black. paige truly believed leni could move mountains with a single blink. her lips were naturally plump, with an exaggerated cupids bow that made them so enticing paige felt dread just at the thought of never having them pressed against her own again. her brows were carved into the most precise arches and when she glanced up at paige her lashes were long enough to reach her brow bone. to paige, leni had the type of beauty that the greeks would have carved into marble.
paige traced over lenis lips with her thumb and lenis eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, “paige…don’t.” she breathed out but she didn’t do anything to stop paige leaning down and kissing her. she didn’t pull away, she didn’t refuse to open her mouth to allow paiges tongue to slid in, in fact, she moved her own tongue in accordance. she moved her head to the side to allow paige a better angle. she dropped her blanket and let paige to guide her backwards by her waist, not breaking the kiss. and when her legs hit the back of the couch and paige laid her down, she opened her legs just enough for paige to insert herself inbetween them.
when paige reached for the waistband of lenis pyjama shorts she made a point of looking in her eyes, waiting for the go ahead. leni nodded, in a haze of need and yearning for the girl leaning over her, everything else disappeared. riley. the hurt paige had caused. the months of healing. it all washed away in a wave of pure love. lust. love? lust.
“say what you want, len.” paige needed to hear words.
“fuck me, paige...please.”
thank u for reading baddies! as always let me know if u wanna be added to the tag list 💋
tag list: @unadulteratedcyclepaper @heart4caitlin @jadasogay @avvwritesstufff @bueckersp
story info • chapter one
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#wcbb#wlw#lovegalor333#lgbtq#fanfic#paige bueckers fanfiction#lord please save her for me#lpshfm#sophs works 🪽
145 notes
·
View notes