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wedreamedlove · 5 years ago

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Xu Mo - Character Study

Preserving this from Reddit. But the comments are always interesting, so I’m dropping the link here.

This post will include content up to Chapter 18. Plus some calls, dates, and ASMR in the CN server. I always quote from JP and CN (because I have major issues with Elex’s translation).

Also, this is an extremely long post. Last I checked it was about 7,500 words so get comfortable if you’re going to read this LOL.

BASICS

First, I don't think I'd be wrong in saying Xu Mo's character is the most polarizing out of the four men and I believe this is due in large part to cultural differences and how the localization handled that. Putting aside my constant harping about subtleties being dropped, I was enlightened by @sharinluna about an aspect I didn't consider, which is Xu Mo's "social class".

Face, social status, rank, and hierarchy are - and still is - very important in Chinese culture. Easy examples people can relate to are respecting elders and the prestige of being a doctor, banker, lawyer, etc. But I can't stress enough the reverence that is given to these "high" social statuses. How this applies to Xu Mo is that he comes from a lineage of literati that would place him as someone in an upper class status, in addition to his own achievements.

Xu Mo was born from a scholarly family. His parents were highly talented and leading researchers.

In the eyes of the public, Xu Mo is a young and remarkable neurologist and a guest professor at Lianyu University. He is serious and persistent towards his scientific research, which is how he's obtained extraordinary achievements. At 26 years old, he has already obtained achievements that most people wouldn't get in a lifetime. There is no other word better to describe him than "genius".

[CN Profile Translation]

The English definition of literati leads you to intellectuals, but this doesn't carry the weight and history of how literati, or basically scholar-officials, were people appointed by the emperor to carry out day-to-day duties and to help govern the country. I guess the equivalent would be a noble who carries out noblesse oblige. Cultured people with scholarly achievements were very respected in historical China and also acted as role models for the common people.

So, going back to Xu Mo, because we're in modern times and he doesn't have an overtly obvious title (to those not in his field of work) he just comes off as a gentle, unassuming, humble, scholar with an air of sophistication and professionalism from his background. Think of a noble, without any airs.

This is reflected in his polite and modest speech (I will be bringing an updated post on this over to Tumblr to go into more detail about modal particles; the important thing is that Xu Mo NEVER smirks unless he's Ares and even that could just be a cold smile). Not to mention all the descriptions about his elegance and refinement. Heck, he even has a Chinese tea ceremony set in his room, including the tools to make tea [CN "In His World" Event].

Xu Mo's classiness, for a lack of a better word, also emphasizes the purposeful contrast of seeing him do common, mundane things. Like watching cartoons to understand humans better [CN Profile]. It's like how Li Zeyan, with his more understandable poshness from his riches, would be contrasted with mundane things. But, if we were looking for another analogy, Xu Mo would be old elegance and Li Zeyan would be nouveau elegance.

Anyway, Xu Mo also has another trait given to him that's a classic in female-oriented Chinese media and that's being a "black belly; 腹黑". For those who are more familiar with Japanese, it's basically the same word as "haraguro; 腹黒".

Black bellies are people who act nice and unassuming on the outside, but they're sly and manipulative (and at times cruel) on the inside or in secret to other people.

Essentially, they're two-faced but while English has a negative connotation with this word it's normal and accepted in Asia (likely because of the concept of face). The majority of male leads in Chinese novels are all black bellies. BTW, the origin of the word comes from how you only notice their black belly after you're eaten up by them LOL.

So, how this works in female-oriented media is... well, there's many combinations. For example, they can be nice to everyone, including the heroine, but secretly vicious against those who hurt the heroine. Or they're nice in public, but show their sly cunning to the heroine. Mix it however you want! They also like to tease the heroine in all sorts of ways, like leading them into verbal traps to see them flustered.

There's some crossover with black bellies being abusive, cruel, or yandere towards their heroine, but it's not necessary for black bellies to be like that. Just think of these as being Venn diagram circles with overlap [example of a sweet black belly is Xiao Nai from the Chinese drama LoveO2O, also a novel].

Returning to the main topic, you can easily see how this applies to Xu Mo. He's nice and elegant... except for when he's not. It's how he can have this gentle and refined air, but then turn around and be a massive flirt and tease with the heroine (flashing his black belly). Then he goes and turns completely black when he's Ares LOL.

Now, after giving background on Xu Mo's character archetype, let's move onto my other sections.

MAN OF JUXTAPOSITIONS

I wanted to call this section "man of contradictions" at first, but then I thought that might mislead people. Basically, this is all about how Xu Mo is a man of dualities.

[Main Story 13-22] The scarred man describes Ares as being the only person who can be trusted in BS, and yet Ares doesn't hesitate to go against Hades and incapacitate him. I'd argue that this places a wrench in BS' operations, so there goes being the most trustworthy person in BS (although, granted, BS sounds like they're a writhing mess of people with their own thoughts and ideas about how it should be run).

Xu Mo is a gentle teacher to MC, patient and taking the time to explain concepts she doesn't understand or provide novel ideas to her; however, he also gives her the worst betrayal and you can almost call this the harshest of lessons.

For all his image of being an intellectual scholar, as I've mentioned in the previous section, Xu Mo is surprisingly "physical". [CN Archery Date] shows that he's ripped and knows a taxing sport like archery, and in [Main Story 16-22] he straight up kills the goons with ice shards (even if it's in a mental arena).

[Main Story 8-23 & 9] bombards you with light and shadow descriptions. Actually, this imagery follows Xu Mo everywhere but it's most prominent in these chapters. He's always standing at the intersection of light and shadow, or light shines down on one of his sides but casts the other in shadow.

[Main Story 9-14] I will be forever salty for Elex dropping the ball here, but Xu Mo's eyes are described to contain a sense of humanness and life. Then, in [Main Story 12-22] he is described to have an expression lacking any emotion and human warmth. Human descriptions contrasted with inhuman descriptions.

Mm, you just have to love delicious juxtapositions and how it emphasizes his duality of being both Xu Mo and Ares. Two sides of the same coin.

Once again, I didn't want to call these contradictions because I don't believe one of these negates the other. It's like how we code switch in different scenarios. You can be a nice person, but vicious when your bottom line is crossed.

These sides of Xu Mo don't overturn the core of his character or his through line: loving the MC, ruthlessly ambitious for the sake of his goals, and naturally gentle (shown in the way he treats animals and people not in the way of his goal).

But, if you do insist on seeing one side of these as lies, then Xu Mo once said:

"Besides, lies have just as much power as the truth. The true nature of things can be indirectly reflected in the world of lies [...] It is because these lies exist, that one can get closer to the truth."

[Main Story 12 Call: Truth and Fiction]

REVERSING "GOOD" IMAGERY

I haven't been quiet at all about how much I love the evocative imagery Xu Mo gets, but an interesting thing I've noticed is how "positive" imagery is twisted into "negative" imagery when it comes to him. It's brilliant.

[Main Story 13-8] MC leaves the building, after interviewing the elevator Evolver man with Xu Mo, and dazzling light shines down on her, yet she can't feel the slightest bit of warmth. This chapter literally sets up Xu Mo's reveal as Ares through positive imagery turned negative. Not to mention warmth disappears into coldness.

In [Midnight Date] there's a rope with thorns tightening around Xu Mo's heart. In [True Love Date] there is a delicate rope tightening around his heart. I will eat my shoe if this isn't a reference to the red string of fate that binds him and MC together. But, as you can see, it's causing him all the suffering in the world.

[Main Story 13-19] Iridescent, the pen, was given to MC and she ends up using it to threaten her own life. Not only is it Xu Mo's symbol of love (more on this later) but pens aren't supposed to be violent weapons. There's the saying that pens are mightier than the sword, because pens write down ideas that are supposed to convince people peacefully. So, a symbol of something non-physical and literary is now a physical weapon of violence and force.

[Main Story 8-23] Xu Mo tucks MC's hands back under the blanket when she's in the hospital, but MC describes a "cold sensation" touching her before she sees that it's his hands. So, Xu Mo has bad circulation or low temperature. Normally, in otome games, the men are supposed to have warm hands (encourages feelings of security, safety, etc.).

[Main Story 9-18] also talks about how Xu Mo's fingertips are freezing, but this is probably more because of the context of the scene.

To be honest, I'm iffy on the last two points about cold hands because it's a common description I see in Chinese novels, where the male lead is described with a cool temperature or cool breath. So, it sort of sounds like it can be a positive descriptor? Of course, there's also male leads who run hot to show how passionate they are LOL.

Or maybe cool descriptions are used to emphasize a character's rationality but when things get hot and heavy they start to burn in temperature and it's supposed to make you go "OOH! HE'S LOSING CONTROL!" or something.

In any case, Xu Mo being of cold temperature is a distinct thing because Gavin is generally described with warm temperatures (because he's a hotblooded military man). The only time I can recall Gavin having a cool description given to him is the tip of his nose in his birthday date, but come on the nose is the extremity of extremities!

Lastly, Xu Mo also needs a special mention for this point:

[Main Story 16-22] The opposite happens here with imagery reversion. Death, normally a frightening concept, is flipped to be a good thing. To escape Xu Mo's dream you need to die. Dying is another way to live.

SYMBOLISM

First, I think it's interesting to note that despite Xu Mo being a "villainous" character and having all this light and shadow imagery (metaphor for his inner conflict), he's ultimately described with light. He has spatial and solidifying light (?) powers that manifest as white light rather than dark shadows.

It's also cute that he shows his two sides with his WHITE lab coat or his BLACK trench coat.

Second, water is pretty much THE imagery to go to for enlightened, virtuous, and refined people. Heck, Lao Tzu in Tao Te Ching, a fundamental text for philosophical and religious Taoism, connects water with 7 virtues:

Dwelling with the right location: water goes to the lowest point, thus a humble person should emulate this. Arrogant people always try to go to the top.

Feeling with great depth: truly virtuous people are like deep pools of water. You can't see everything about them at first, but as you get to know them it's like discovering a treasure and this should encourage you to cultivate depth in yourself too.

Giving with great kindness: rivers flow across the land nourishing everything in its way; once it's done its work it moves on without waiting for praise or recognition. This is the virtue of unconditional kindness.

Speaking with great integrity: water, when calm and undisturbed, reflects its surroundings perfectly and so should people reflect the truth with the same degree of accuracy.

Governing with great administration: water benefits everyone equally, because water doesn't pass judgment on anyone. Give everyone the same level of basic courtesy.

Handling with great capability: water has great versatility and nothing can block its way; it can flow to the left, right, under, over, etc. It's also not limited to just its regular form and can be steam or ice.

Moving with great timing: summer rains never fall in winter, and winter rains never fall in summer. Water demonstrates there is a time for everything and that everything can occur in its own time.

Remember how I said scholar-officials in historical China are basically like role models and nobles who help govern the people under the emperor with noblesse oblige? This is why scholar characters go hand in hand with water imagery, because it's supposed to emphasize their virtuousness.

So, because Xu Mo is a scholar-type character, the same goes for him. He has SO MUCH water imagery going on for him, and it carries the above weight behind it. I've probably missed some, but here's a list of the ones I can recall:

[Main Story 9-11] MC falls asleep on the bus and, as Xu Mo watches her, the emotions in his eyes are like swelling ocean tides at night.

[Main Story 9-14] MC's dream about Xu Mo has her falling into an ocean.

[Main Story 9-22] MC ends up in Xu Mo's memories about the accident that killed his parents and it's raining.

[Main Story 11-6] Xu Mo brings MC Chinese bellflowers and MC feels that they're fragile, as if the petals are thin ice that'll break if she touches them.

[Main Story 13-4] Xu Mo's voice is like the morning fog evaporating in the sunlight.

[Main Story 13-8] During their talk about MC wanting to continue her investigation, calm waves drift in Xu Mo's dark eyes.

[Main Story 13-19] This is tangentially related to Xu Mo because these descriptions apply to the MC, but it happens after the Ares reveal. She feels like she got pushed into an ice cave, she feels like she's drifting in an ocean, and when she thinks about Xu Mo her memories overwhelm her like a flood and she feels like she's going to drown.

[Main Story 16-16] Xu Mo gets to kill Hades' goons with a copied ice ability. The writers didn't have to give the goons an ice ability; they could have had metal powers, or fire powers, but nope it was water-related.

[The Promised Date] Xu Mo's eyes are like ocean tides at night. When he's abroad he experiences heart pains and finds his shirt drenched and stuck to his back, giving him the illusion that he's drowning.

Third, Xu Mo also has a lot of flower language going for him. Technically, the other guys have flowers and plants associated with them too (for example, Gavin with white lilies and gingko leaves), but I think Xu Mo gets more LOL.

[Main Story 9-14] Red spider lilies appear in MC's dream about Xu Mo. These mean sad memories, mutual longing, separation, graceful purity, beauty of death, endless love, a precursor to death, and a call to the netherworld. The sadness and mutual longing is because the flowers and leaves of spider lilies can never touch; meanwhile, their relation to death is because they bloom punctually around the autumn equinox when people sweep graves.

[Main Story 11-6] Xu Mo gives the MC Chinese bellflowers, which bloomed out of season, when she's at the hospital. These mean eternal love, sincerity, yearning, or hopeless love. The reason for this double meaning is because Chinese bellflowers represent happiness, but only some people can seize their happiness while others miss it, are unable to grasp it, or are unable to keep it.

[Blossom Event] Xu Mo gifts a gardenia to MC, which is called Garda. In Chinese, gardenias mean tenacious, eternal love, waiting for you for a lifetime, and our love.

[Blossom Date] Xu Mo and MC go look at peach blossoms together. Not only do they quote a poem all about a bride serving her clan, groom's clan, and her groom (including having abundant fruit if you know what I mean), peach blossoms themselves mean being a captive of love.

[Under the Mistletoe SSR] Mistletoe, duh. Normally, I'd look at Chinese flower language but they're clearly using the common meaning of mistletoe: love and enduring love to those who kiss under it. Plus, if you refuse a kiss beneath it then you'll get bad luck LOL.

[CN Promise You a Lifetime SSR] Xu Mo's wedding card has wisteria in the background. In China, it means intoxicating love, dependence, born for love and dying for love, obsessed with you, the happiest moment, and indulging in love.

[Golden Days SSR] Xu Mo's flower card, but I can't find a consensus on what the flowers are. Some people think its oleander but they only bloom in summer and fall when the card is about being in the springtime. Oleanders mean a curse and to watch out for danger though.

I personally think they're apple blossoms (blooms early spring and summer) and they mean "trap". Apple blossoms are so beautiful people want to eat them, but their body is poisonous. People represented by this flower look loyal and honest on the outside, but they're sharp and have a thorny tongue. Those who get too close risk being stabbed and only smart people will find their viciousness interesting LOL.

Come on, it's totally not a coincidence that all of Xu Mo's flower symbolism is just a neon sign about how in love he is with the MC. Eternal love is repeated like a billion times. The only odd one out is his flower card, but it still suits his character:

Under his elegant and gentle face, there hides an inexplicable dark side which is the most deadliest poison.

[CN Profile Translation]

Lastly, Xu Mo has a fox as his animal representative. Foxes are pretty much universally associated with being tricksters, masters of illusions, and cunning. It's amusing because, in Asian folklore, they also like to transform into beauties and seduce people to consume them. Sometimes, the nine-tailed fox is associated with auspiciousness though!

[Official CN Animal Figures] Xu Mo is a fox, Gavin is a dog, Victor is a cat, and Kiro is a bear.

[CN Dream Flower SSR] Xu Mo's West Moon card shows him as a fox demon and scholar.

[Main Story 9-14] Xu Mo quotes the fox's line from "The Little Prince" and MC imagines seeing a fox bounding through the wheat fields too.

I think people can see why foxes are so fitting for Xu Mo but I also want to add that, despite me going on about how virtuous scholars are, in order for scholars to survive the swamp of politics in court, these scholar-officials needed to be extremely sly and cunning and it's actually a good thing to be a "wily fox".

In fact, in Chinese novels, usually the honest and genuine characters are... not the main characters and they reach a tragic end or, if they are main characters, they have to be protected by other cunning leads because good-natured people cannot survive in a mortal world filled with greedy people and their materialistic desires. Laughs hollowly at how all my honest military men biases die horrible deaths or get ruined because of this blunt personality.

Hey, check it out, with Xu Mo's historical Qixi card, [CN Vermilion Lip SSR], and his West Moon card, there's two explicit references to how he's the scholar character.

STORIES OF YOU AND ME

Now, Xu Mo brings up three major stories throughout the game in various places.

First, there's "The Little Mermaid":

[The Little Mermaid ASMR] I was on the fence as to whether Xu Mo relates himself to the Prince or the Little Mermaid, but now I think he's the Little Mermaid. He's different from humans but longs for them and wants an eternal soul.

[Overseas Date] Here we learn that Xu Mo can't yet understand the Little Mermaid's selfless, brave, and devoted love (sorry, but you're way too insatiable, my dear) however he finds himself understanding her last choice. That he can continue loving someone despite the pain they bring him (the Little Mermaid's pain every time she uses her legs).

It's, uh, pretty somber that the version Xu Mo has in his head is the Andersen one where the Little Mermaid dies. He also ends the story there and doesn't add the part where she turns into a daughter of air and still has a chance to get a soul after 300 years to go to the Kingdom of God.

Second, there's "The Little Prince" and its a damn good reference. So, this book is actually MC's favorite book and it's about a little prince who raises a rose on his planet, B612, and falls in love with the rose. But he catches the rose in a lie and gets hurt and, even though they reconcile, he leaves the planet to go on a journey.

On the Little Prince's journey he meets all sorts of people with obsessions and learns life lessons through them, but the most important one he learns is how to love his rose. He crashes down to earth though and meets the person he tells his story to (thus creating this story), but before the Little Prince can return to his planet he gets bitten by a poisonous snake and that's it. The narrator likes to think the Little Prince made it back to his planet and rose though.

In [Sound of Silence SSR Call: The Little Prince] Xu Mo mentions how The Little Prince is MC's favorite book. He also compares MC directly to being the Little Prince and how she's growing like the Little Prince through her experiences. I have a crack theory that MLQC's story could actually mirror this somewhat, especially about MC learning the meaning of love and how that'll save the world LOL.

In [Sound of Silence SSR Call: Beautiful Moonlight] there's another mention to the Little Prince where Xu Mo asks if she can find B612, the Little Prince's home planet. They both hope the Little Prince made it back home.

In [Main Story 9-14], like I mentioned above, Xu Mo quotes the fox's line and it goes: "The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat".

However, let me explain the context and show the full quote. So, the Little Prince meets a fox in his journey and the fox tells the Little Prince to tame him to "establish ties":

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."

[...]

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat."

The Little Prince agrees and tames the fox. But when he has to leave the planet:

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

[...]

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Isn't this conversation good? I remember reading the Little Prince a long time ago and found it super sad, and now that I'm re-visiting this story again thanks to Xu Mo... well, I understand it better but it's still melancholic LOL.

But, anyway, if we replace the Little Prince with MC and the fox with Xu Mo, this conversation is really interesting. See, the fox is indelibly marked by the Little Prince (like Xu Mo by the MC) and they have made this unique connection between them that will hurt both of them when it comes to the end.

However, this pain doesn't mean their experiences wasn't worth it and that it didn't mean anything. Like the fox says, now he has these memories of the Little Prince that makes life worth living. The fox, before he met the Little Prince, found his life boring and monotonous, but now things are given meaning when they didn't have it before.

On a totally random note, in [CN "In His World" Event] people have taken pictures of Xu Mo's shelves and now we can get an idea of his reading material. It ranges from literary classics (Ayn Rand, Oscar Wilde, Vladimir Nabokov, Charlotte Brontë, and lots of Chinese authors), to research papers (Genome-wide Polygenic Burden of Rare Deleterious Variants in Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy), to things like encyclopedias on flowers, etc.

It'd probably take you years to get through his reading materials LOL. The other guys also have books in their rooms, but I don't remember them clearly. I do know that Gavin has sci-fi books though! Totally not biased. But, I'm sorry, I don't really like reading sci-fi...

Third and last, the most referenced story throughout the game is probably the one Xu Mo made, "The Artist and the Butterfly". I feel like most of us know it by now, but I'll do a translation for those who haven't had the pleasure of getting [Drowning in Love SSR] and its two calls [Artist and Butterfly] and [The Only Color] and because Elex's version is riddled with errors.

Once upon a time, in a secluded castle, there lived an artist. The artist's paintings only had two colors: black and white. It wasn't because the artist loved these two colors, but because in his eyes there were only these two colors in the world.

The artist believed the world to be depressing, so all the other colors were meaningless. But, one day, a butterfly flew in front of him and the artist saw with shock that on the butterfly's wings were all sorts of beautiful colors he had never seen before. The fluttering of its wings made the colors even more lively and charming, and so the artist painted it for the entire day, never tiring.

But the sensitive artist was also afraid the butterfly would one day grow tired of being beside him, and so he thought about catching the butterfly and putting it in a glass jar. Like this, the butterfly would never be able to leave him.

Then, we move onto the conversation portion in [The Only Color]:

Xu Mo: What do you think of this story?

MC: Um... you can't laugh at me when I say this.

Xu Mo: I promise I won't.

MC: I feel like the artist is very relatable.

Xu Mo: ... Relatable?

MC: Mhm, although I don't understand his actions, I can see that he's really stifled and sad. Now, can you tell me what happens after?

Xu Mo: Actually, this is what happens after. Or rather, this story doesn't have an end.

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: Are you disappointed?

MC: So, not every story has an ending...

Xu Mo: The artist continues to try and catch the butterfly, and even I don't know whether he caught it or not. If I see him again, I'll ask him for you.

MC: Turns out this is a real story?

Xu Mo: Yes.

MC: If you're able to meet that artist, you have to tell him this for me. That he actually doesn't love the butterfly, does he?

Xu Mo: Why do you not think the artist loves the butterfly? If you love someone, aren't you supposed to move heaven and earth to bind them to your side?

MC: But this is too selfish.

Xu Mo: Hah, yes, even I find it selfish. But if he doesn't do that, the artist will likely lose the butterfly. And then his life will be like how it was before; the whole world would just be black and white.

MC: If he really loves the butterfly, then he wouldn't want to see them suffer. Maybe I'm too simple, but for me genuine love is simply loving that person, as an individual, and I wouldn't need a relationship with them. I'd just want them to be happy.

Xu Mo: If you were this butterfly, and there was someone who wanted to confine you to their side so they could keep you together with them forever... would you be willing?

MC: No... I don't think I'd be willing.

Xu Mo: Indeed... exactly what I thought you would say...

MC: Xu Mo... I want to ask you...

Xu Mo: Mm?

MC: Is this story about you?

Xu Mo: I couldn't be the artist, and I definitely couldn't be the butterfly. But if I really did encounter the one and only color in my life, then I certainly wouldn't let them go.

MC: Why?

Xu Mo: Why?... I don't know why either... You don't need to dig to the bottom of everything.

MC: Xu Mo, I'm a bit sleepy all of a sudden...

Xu Mo: Sleep then. Don't be afraid, even if you have nightmares, I'll be here for you.

Gods, I'm going to be endlessly salty over Elex's butchering of these calls, but whatever. WHATEVER.

This is LITERALLY the story of Xu Mo and MC's relationship. And, with this, we are shuffled immediately into my next section.

COLORING EACH OTHER

In [New Light Date] Xu Mo asks "Can you teach me love?" and in [Main Story 5-6] he also asks "Then, will you change me? If we get along together."

The answer is a resounding YES. MC has changed him indelibly, like the tamed fox, and there is only one unique her in his world; he's left the same mark on her, making him the only unique Xu Mo in her world.

(Not to mention in his [CN 2nd Anniversary VIP message] to the players Xu Mo literally says "It's as if under your guidance I've learned how to love".)

In [Firefly Date] Xu Mo talks about how the lights of the fireflies are a danger sign to other creatures (because fireflies eat everything during their larvae form). Then in [Rainfall Date] he thinks the exact same words, that the colors he's seeing emerge into his world because of the MC are a DANGER SIGN but he cannot bring himself to care.

It is not metaphorical in [Rainfall Date]. He's colorblind!

The "Mo (墨)" in Xu Mo's name (许墨) was once his mother's favorite word. This word represents pen and ink, a literary family, and the black and white world in his eyes.

His world is black and white and only by your side can he see colors.

[CN Profile Translation]

Then in [Afternoon Date] there is this exchange:

MC: What do I look like in your eyes?

Xu Mo: ... Colored.

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: In my eyes... you're full of colors.

So, now that we know MC literally brings color into his life, I'm going to bring back his pen, Iridescent, that he gives MC [Main Story 13-10]. It's a symbol of his love because there's a line that comes from a movie called "Flipped". The Chinese name for the movie "Flipped" is the same as the Chinese name of Xu Mo's [Lovestruck SSR].

“Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss... [...] But every once in a while, you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.”

Iridescent is how he sees MC. She literally brought the colors of a rainbow into his black and white world [Rainfall Date].

Now, when we think about his line in "The Artist and the Butterfly" we get... MAJOR ANGST. Because, contrary to his words about not letting the only color in his world go, he lets the MC go again and again and again:

He doesn't catch MC in [Main Story 13].

He saves MC from Hades in [Main Story 16] and then takes advantage of the dream erasing her memories, so she'll have no ties to him or BS (until the next time they meet on the field again, I guess).

Heck, to take this further, in [Memory Palace: The Night Before] Xu Mo traces his previously wounded eye and thinks about how he can barely remember MC's colors and he's going to lose it completely when they meet at the news conference. Then in [Main Story 16-22] MC sees his past all in black and white.

Xu Mo has given up on keeping her colors in his world...

On a side note, I also think he's giving up vividness in his world. In [Rainfall Date] it's implied that the cheerier MC is the brighter her colors are and, I assume, the colors in Xu Mo's world?

There's an intriguing fact in his [CN Profile Translation] too where it says "His sense of taste isn't too sensitive, but it's not completely absent either." What if that fades too when MC isn't around?

Papergames has also mentioned that Xu Mo has glasses he wears to help him see colors (so he can drive safely LOL) but we don't actually see him wear them much except for when he's doing scientific stuff. Perhaps this is a sign about how little he cares about seeing colors in his world if he can't see them naturally (MC-induced colors).

But, hold on, this is a section about how Xu Mo has equally changed MC (it's just, perhaps, more tragic and more obvious with Xu Mo because he only has MC, the sole color in his life, while she has three other guys just lost a friend, mentor, and love interest).

In [Blossom Date] there's an exchange where MC tells Xu Mo that, like how he's told her to take her time growing in front of him [Main Story 9-2], she wants him to take his time going through life. She's echoing his words (and teaching) and, in response, Xu Mo's eyes darken and he thinks about how he's "staining her purity in his colors".

In [CN Archery Date] Xu Mo teaches MC how to handle and shoot a bow and they end up having a mini competition where they both hit bull's eye and get a draw. He's given her one of skills (and a piece of him) again.

Xu Mo continuously gives MC things that he has never given anyone else:

In [Snowy Night Date] he reveals his actual birthday date to MC.

In [Hot Spring Date] Xu Mo reveals that he's never celebrated his birthdays like this, until now with her. Because they probably reminded him of his parents' accident.

In [CN Nightmare's End ASMR] Xu Mo barely remembers his childhood memories (or his real name RIP), and yet he doesn't hesitate to share these memories with MC.

Tangentially related, but I want to throw in here how Xu Mo and MC are described sometimes as having eyes only for each other. I'm sure there's more mentions, but I can only remember these two:

[Main Story 13-8] "Xu Mo didn't respond. He stared at me with a complicated look and I was the only one reflected in his eyes."

[True Love Date] "The girl, with her clear black eyes opened wide, stared at him. The one who was reflected in those eyes was him alone."

My romantic and poetic explanation here is that, because they have pieces of themselves in each other, they're drawn together like magnets!

RUNNING ON PARALLEL TRACKS

In addition to coloring each other with pieces of themselves, MC and Xu Mo are also quite synchronized. He still leaves her confused at times with his intellect, but she can give back pretty good. I will continue to quietly blame Elex for unflattering descriptions of the MC, especially after that call up there, WTF.

For example, [Blossom Date] has Xu Mo quoting a classic poem "Tao Yao" with stanzas 1+2, and MC follows with stanzas 5+6, only for Xu Mo to flirt with stanzas 11+12 (thanks to @love-p for this translation):

1 桃之夭夭 Fresh is the peach tree,

2 灼灼其華 vibrant does it bloom.

[...]

5 桃之夭夭 Fresh is the peach tree,

6 有蕡其実 abundant its fruit.

[...]

11 之子于帰 The betrothed comes home,

12 宜其家人 she serves the clan well.

Then, while Xu Mo doesn't say this unprompted, in [Main Story 13-15] he connects the writing on the wall to 1 Corinthians 13:12. "For now we see through a glass, darkly..."

Then in [Main Story 16-12] MC quotes 1 Corinthians 13:2 at him: "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

However, despite being able to follow up with each other like this, [Firefly Date] shows how Xu Mo and MC have philosophies that differ on a fundamental level, and this ultimately puts them on opposing sides.

Xu Mo believes in mistaken Darwinism, the strong survive and the weak perish, and he also upholds a strict utilitarian view about using people's lives for the greater good of humanity.

The progress of science is often accompanied by many failed experiments, and towards those failed experiments Xu Mo will feel regret. But at the same time he believes that it is a kind of honor to contribute to a better future for humankind.

[CN Profile Translation]

MC believes in helping people out, not just leaving them out to struggle on their own, and she respects and believes in the innate dignity of human life and choice.

We see in [Main Story 16-9] that Xu Mo and MC have another debate about their philosophies and it ends without a victor, again, but also them realizing that both of them wouldn't sacrifice the person they love (consolation prize LOL).

There's also an amazing moment in [Main story 16-12] where MC quotes something Xu Mo told her in [Main Story 13-17]: "Only those who have felt pain and despair can reach the truth of this world. So, even if you feel pain, there's no need to give up on what you want to do. Even if that source of light were to disappear, it would immediately regain its light."

It hurts because, what was a motivational speech for MC, is now used against Xu Mo. It further resolves MC about her principles, but the way she throws his words at him to hurt him like that... yikes. To the both of them, honestly, since Xu Mo wasn't playing nice at all there in assuming her hesitance about answering meant she would sacrifice her loved ones.

Anyway, we see that this understanding and knowing (coloring) of each other lets them hurt each other just as bad. I mentioned in a previous post about the [CN Archery Date] that it's interesting to see their relationship as a metaphorical draw. They take and give to each other, constantly, throughout the story and it shows that they're equals. Running to some place, but not being on the same track. We can only hope they're heading to the same place and that they won't branch off and go further and further away from each other (but he's a love interest, so it should be?? okay??).

On a side note, Xu Mo quotes "Graveyard by the Sea" in [Firefly Date] (I've linked an amazing English translation that comes with an analysis of the original French version).

TL;DR is that the poet realizes timelessness does not exist and that, because his mortality is ever looming, he must go out and accept the challenge of life (carpe diem!) because immortality might not lie beyond the grave. You only get this one chance in life and the future is uncertain, so do everything you can to achieve what you want to do.

This is actually another good reference to Xu Mo's ruthless ambition and why in [Blossom Date] MC wants him to rest and take his time moving forward slowly, much like how he tells her to take her time growing with him.

Uh, I realize I may have taken you guys off guard by suddenly bringing up ruthless ambition again but:

[Blossom Date Translation] Xu Mo reveals how much he worked his ass off when he was younger.

Xu Mo: Yes, I skipped grades.

Xu Mo said that casually, without any pride, as if it were someone else's business. But I was deeply impressed.

MC: You spent all your high school years studying?

Xu Mo: At that time, yes.

MC: Why?

Xu Mo: Silly, there aren't that many why's. It's the same as how you were when you were taking your entrance exams, there were things I needed to do.

[Main Story 13-22] "Ares had a smile cold enough to send chills through someone. The blood that flowed to his mouth made him stand out even more bewitchingly, like a flower. He raised his head and ambition roiled in eyes that were deeper and darker than twilight."

[2nd PV] Xu Mo has a line in Chinese that goes "我贪得无厌　想要你的全部" which I believe English translated as "I am insatiable, I want all of you" which is... um, sure. I mean it works! Perhaps it doesn't fully convey how it's like endless greed, the desire and want for more, never being satisfied, and always hungering. That is what insatiable means, but I don't think the word is used commonly enough for people to click onto all of that.

CONCLUSION

LORD, this is massive. Not including this conclusion, whoever has read down to this point has cleared around 7,500 words, so congratulations.

Anyway, obviously, this post isn't supposed to be all "this is the one and only true interpretation of Xu Mo's character" but I wanted to provide some background from a native (?) context that might have been overlooked, because I don't think scholar archetypes are as common in English and Japanese media (the second culture people are probably most familiar with if they're playing otome games?).

Like how you can point out "ah yes, the tsundere, the yandere, the megane, etc." in Japanese media, the scholar archetype is someone you could spot at a glance from a line up of Chinese characters. If I had to choose a similar type they're probably like megane characters... except their EQ and IQ are both high, so they're not cold, logical robots.

Coming back to a summary of all my points, Xu Mo is a complicated scholar archetype and the game also enjoys spicing this concept up with things that contrast sharply against it (the sexuality from his fox characteristics). He's gentle, refined, and knowledgeable, but also has a black belly that shows when he flirts and verbally traps the MC to fluster her (not to mention all his manipulations behind the scenes).

Every scene he appears in seems to say one thing, but show another, and his references make me want to cry when I end up digging too deep in them. Meanwhile, the silence between the lines of his scenes, words, and actions, scream so loudly with evocative and symbolic imagery.

Feel free to dislike him, but I don't think it can be denied that he's a very intricately written character, and that's what all the fun is about liking him and deciphering his raison d'être.

As an aside, I will acknowledge that I've skipped over other references that I couldn't fit into this post but there were things like the [Roman Holiday] movie he and MC watched in [Main Story 5-6] and the song he sings in [True Love Date], "When I Fall in Love", and its relation to [Sleepless in Seattle], perhaps? But @sharinluna has good posts on these already. I haven't watched any of these, so I won't bother to reveal my ignorance on them LOL.

Lastly, I just want to leave everyone with these two lines from Xu Mo, because it draws such a beautiful circle:

So, in his [2nd PV] he says "我贪得无厌" which I mentioned above was something like "I'm insatiably greedy".

Then, there's a call where he says "谢谢你、成全我的贪心，希望你可以相信，无论是过去，还是未来，能让我倾尽所有想要独占的，只有你一人" which translates to "Thank you, for fulfilling my greed. I hope you can believe that, regardless of whether it's in the past or future, the person who's made me want to exhaust all methods to monopolize them has only ever been you."

Such a beautiful full circle, right? You can imagine him saying this at the end of the game or at a wedding, right? EXCEPT IT CAME FROM A KFC COLLABORATION CALL. YES. KFC. I'm crying and I feel like my soul took a hit. It doesn't count... it doesn't count as canon material does it... I mean, he's not talking about the chicken, because this is in response to a confession you get to write as the player, BUT STILL. LOL.

(I secretly laugh at how English would handle that, since they gave him the "I am insatiable" line. "Thank you for satiating me"? HAHA).

Nah, perhaps the true circle is him asking in [New Light Date] if MC can teach him love and then telling us that we've taught him in love in the [2nd Anniversary VIP Message].

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #love and producer #mr love queen's choice #mlqc xu mo #love and produc(ing) meta

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iphoenixrising · 7 years ago

Note

I can't stop thinking about your Dr!Tim verse (This isnt a prompt btw, I just wanted you to know that Ive been thinking about your writing and how much its inspired me. Sorry for how long this is). I keep imagining the man on the bridge being the hot topic on every news station and paper, even more than Batman and Robin. Everyone wants to know who he is. Is he ok? Did he give his life saving his fellow Gotham citizens? There are a lot of questions

(2)and few answers. Those in the loop are more than content to leave it that way,but somehow it gets leaked that Gothams new hero is a young prodigy doctor atGotham General. Tim is not made aware of this until he gets mobbed by reportersas he’s leaving his 36 hour shift and getting asked a lot of innapropriatepersonal questions. And it’s not nearly as funny as you seem to think it is,Jason.

(3)Of course his boyfriends quickly stop finding the situation funny once the joboffers from all over the world start rolling in. Dozens of them, all offeringthings like millions of dollars in salary, positions like chief of surgery, allin state of the art hospitals that are properly funded and don’t reside incities with crazy clown attacks. And it hurts because, how could they ask himto stay? How could they ask their genius sugar to tie himself down to a city

(4)that chews everyone in it up and spits them out, to be a doctor in a hospitalbarely scraping by, how could they ask their genius boy to refuse a once in alifetime opportunity to escape this shithole of a city and make something bigof himself, all to stay with two vigilantes who cant guarantee they’ll make ithome each night. They couldn’t do it, they want whats best for their boy, evenif it means he leaves them. They can’t ask him to stay.

(5)Damian of course has no such qualms about blackmailing, er requesting Drakestay in the city, and subsequently with his older brothers (Because if he hurtsthem, Damian will hurt Tim twice as bad). Which leads to a very awkwardconversation in which Damian threatens Tim not to leave, Tim is confusedbecause “who said anything about leaving?” And then they have a heartto heart about how Tim isn’t stuck at Gotham general, he chose that hospital.And that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

So, hi babe :D Iknow this has been sitting in my inbox for a minute, sorry >.

Brilliant, babe. Justbrilliant.

I also get to play withanother back-and-forth I haven’t really gotten to yet in these little things,so I’m super excited for B and Tony Stark to just have a little snark-fest,yeah?

Tony showed up a fewweeks early for his quarterly “visit” to Gotham.

It’s disconcertingbecause Tony Stark goes between creating new innovations to privatelyconsulting around the US on the most dire of cases in need of a precise handand large enough ego to make miracles happen. He might have to do somebookkeeping even though Pepper is his CEO and runs his company with iron heels. When he’s not working, he has a nice relationship waiting for himat home.

All of it didn’t leaveTony much time to be running to Gotham before schedule to do someridiculous amount of pouting.

And yet?

Here they are.

When Tim actually getsto turn away from the stack of charts he’s updating, he has an oh shitmoment because Tony…isn’t immediately talking. No white coat, just asnazzy three-piece, arms crossed over his chest, and utterly

Silent.

Tim automaticallystands, taking in his old mentor from head to foot, looking for clues toadd to the inevitable diagnosis hovering in his brain pan.

(Because, you know, thattime when he was still a lowly bachelor and could take a month off of Mercy topretty much live in Tony’s facility while things like brain tumors threatenedhis Tony Stark’s life. His hands didn’t shake the whole time he was rootingaround that famous mound of grey matter–that’s when he knew he’d hit the bigleagues.)

“If you even think,”Tony starts, low and angry, “of taking the offer from UCLA over mine, Iwill be an even bigger asshole about your terrible life choices.”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Word has apparently gottenaround.

It started out with aquick blurb on the news, blurry camera phone picture of emergency workers andplain clothes civilians jumping to action in the middle of a crisis, a humaninterest story and all that. A glimmer of goodness among the chaos.

More picture with betterquality once the shock and aftermath died down, started to flood Social Media,even various videos of cables snapping and people running, trying not to gettrampled. One the media latched onto just happened to be of him carrying thelittle girl from the car and helping her mother up in the back of a truck tosend them to safety.

The one with himbreaking through the fallen debris made Dick gasp from the table where he waspatching his suit and Jay wrap a big hand around his ankle to squeeze.

The one where he almostlost his grip climbing the wall of broken shit and flaming car remains isprobably where someone saw the connection because the class of kids went on thenews, holding up colorful signs with Thank-You, Dr. Drake!

He was happy they allseemed fine and after an uncomfortable call from Channel 11 Gotham (howthey found out his name is still a mystery even though he suspects B is an evenbigger troll than he’d already surmised), in which he stipulated nocameras this time, went by the elementary school for a visit. They gripped hisnerd shirt with excited hands, and his arms are long enough for a lot ofhugs.

But while Channel 11agreed to his term of no cameras, no interviews, that didn’t really panout when it came to the story later on that night.

His picture flashed allover the damn place, the resident angel on the bridge as one Dr. Drakefrom Mercy General trying to save as many lives as he could. More video clipsand interviews after the fact (he’s so glad to see that Karmen and her mom areokay), and dammit, he’s being literally attacked outside thedouble doors to his ER after a very long shift without Steph. He mighthave been a little mean when he told them in no specific terms that he was onlytrying to make sure people didn’t, you know, die horribly, as is hisnormal, every-day job, and please let him go home where he can pass outfor a day or he’s going to lie down on someone’s shoes and take a nap.

Jay was predictablyentertained at the whole of it. Dick merely told him his kick-ass doctorinstincts deserved appropriate accolades.

Both of them areassholes, but still, they’re his assholes.

But eventually, likeeverything in Gotham, those videos became old news and the next wave ofinevitable oh shit became front and center. Which, should have meant hisfifteen seconds of fame was pretty much over (thankfully)–if he hadn’tstarted getting other interest.

Several offers startedcoming first by mail to the Penthouse, more by phone and email. Unassumingproper stationary with silver and gold lettering, bright voicemails about his“heroism” and obvious skill in emergency situations, emails from high-rankingdoctors or board members extending an invitation to visit their campus and seeif his career might be going in a new direction.

(Gag)

It was pretty easy atfirst, chucking those finely detailed introduction letters in the trashdiscreetly, sending back appreciative declines without Dick or Jason gettingwise as to how many there actually were.

(John Hopkinsthough…that one he had to think about)

A month later and thingsslacked off (or might be routed through Drake Industries so they stop coming tothe Penthouse). Apparently, though, the attention had been somewhat noticeable.

“I don’t know what youmay have heard, Tony, but–” he starts out calmly, putting the penpointedly down.

“Let me start with the shortlist,” it’s the usual sarcasm laying the mood, mimicking an imaginarychecklist, “John Hopkins, Department Head of Emergency Medicine. Mayo, General Surgery Residency Program Director. MassachusettsGeneral, Chief of Surgery. UCSF, Chief of Residents. UCLA, Chief of Staff.Cedars-Sinai, Neuroscience research grants out the ass. Sound morefamiliar?”

Well, there’s only oneway to get this conversation started.

Bonding over coffee.

Gathering up hischarts with a sigh, Tim shakes his head a little and grabs the cane he’s beenusing since his leg is finally starting to get with it (and no Steph,the House MD jokes were funny a week ago, now you need new material). Heshoos Tony out of the room and down the corridor to the chaos that is his ER.

“Notice I didn’tmention the very generous and consistent offer from StarkMedical, Tim,” because Tony really has nothing to be mad about per sayand falls in step beside him anyway, slowing down his unusually fast strides toaccount for the limp. “Because I’m not here to smooze.”

He pauses at the maindesk to arrange the charts in order, gets the approving nod from his favoriteHead Nurse.

“There’s story behindthis,” he fills in casually, “it’s more complicated than just–”

“You almost died,”Tony interrupts smoothly, “on a bridge. You ran around on a crumbling bridgeinstead of getting people the hell off while you got the hell off. Halfthe nation saw that guy with the crazy bat fetish catch someone out in openwater wearing purple scrubs, Tim.”

Well, none of that isa lie really.

Hands free, Tim gripsTony’s elbow and steers them pointedly into the break room, closes the door.With Dr. Stark roaming around Mercy, most everyone would stay clear unless somecatastrophe hits anyway.

He lets Tony stew fora few minutes while he makes a fresh pot of coffee and thinks very, very hardabout how this is going to go.

“You were worriedabout me,” Tim finally gives a half-grin in the face of Tony’s nope, andputs a fresh paper cup in his hand, “you can bluster all you want, but you wereworried, and I appreciate it.”

“That is absolute crapand you know it. I’m here to make sure no other hospitals or researchfacilities snatch you up, Drake. Not after all the effort I put into you overthe last few years.”

Sure, Tony. “The bridge. I survived. A lot of otherpeople survived, so you can ignore whatever crap the news stations aresaying–”

“All of it is true.You stupidly risked your life when the structural integrity was compromised,and since it just happened to involve that wing-nut in the cape, thenation is going to pay the fuck attention.”

Which is probably whyhe’s suddenly Mr. Popular in his field. Well, that does answer some questions.

“You’re taking thisout of proportion,” even if it’s fruitless, he’s still going to try,“there really haven’t been that many–”

“Twenty of the topfacilities in the world have made offers that would put this place to shame.Three of your last publications have shown up in recent journals. The nextsymposium you’re supposed to be at is already sold out.”

And well, shit.He…he didn’t know all of that.

“Besides, if I wasblowing it out of proportion, we wouldn’t be talking about it in thedeserted break room, Drake.”

Tim groans out loud,rubbing a tired hand down his face. How is he going to explain without soundinglike a complete moron?

“Tony, the offersare…nice, okay? I’m not going to say it isn’t cool to be wanted by someof these places. I mean Cedars… they have equipment and research facilitiesmost places couldn’t even dream of. Just the possibilities–”

A very pointedclearing of the throat makes him take a pause to breathe, count to ten becausehe has to get in the mindset to deal with Tony like this again (it’s been aminute) when he’s being incredibly stubborn.

Neither of them noticethe dark blue against black right at the side of the building, but the presenceunder the open window narrows white eyes and stays hidden in the Gotham shadow. Who even knew how long he’d been there.

“Excuse me,Cedars has equipment most facilities–aside from Stark Medical of course–couldn’teven dream of.”

The look he gets backis unimpressed at most, but Tim can see past the usual Tony Stark mask. Theexuding confidence is there like the nice, expensive suits he wears, but underneaththe brilliance and the snark, Tony’s eyes are bloodshot and the dark circlesunderneath look like bruises. He keeps his dominant hand in the pocket of hispants, probably to hide the slight tremble (which is why he isn’t wearing acoat, right? If Tony’s riding the sleep dep train, he won’t operate if hishands are starting to shake).

Tim eases back alittle, sips on his terrible sludge while idly thumbing his phone open.

“I’m very well awareof the opportunities right in front of you, Tim,” Tony starts moving, a shortwhirlwind of movement, activity, and energy. “I’m just saying–”

“What I told you ayear ago is still true,” Tim comes back, finishing up the quick text to one ofTony’s significant others, (just a little knowledge drop on how exhausted hismentor really is). He puts his phone away and crosses his arms over his chestin a firm sign of ‘this is how the discussion is going to go.’

“You can’t be serious.”And yes, that’s Tony Stark without all the touchy-feely, I care if you diekind of thing. “I’m outraged. I’m outraged on your behalf, Tim.”

“You can’t be,” hedeadpans.

“The hell I can’t.You’re going to stay here, in this death trap of a city and practicemedicine in this ill-equipped, dilapidated chop-shop hold-over from the secondWorld War–”

“Tony, c’mon.”

“While half thegoddamned world is out for you?! Do you have any idea what kindof direction your career could go if you accepted even one of thoseoffers?”

“I–”

“Anything else isliterally going to be professional suicide.”

“When you put it like that–”he snarks back, getting a little closer to his patience. It had taken longerthan usual because Tony, like Layla, needed to adults to lay it out for themonce and awhile.

“It’s time to listento reason, Tim. You’ve had plenty of time to try, I don’t know, winningthe Nobel for putting up with terrible conditions and homicidal maniacs withbomb fetishes. Isn’t it time you started challenging yourself again, and notby trying to die in this trash-dump city?”

And the shadowsoundlessly slides away in the night, leaving the conversation to finish up anecessary patrol. The rushing wind doesn’t take away anything he’s alreadylearned.

Dr. Drake, blissfullyunaware of the company, narrows his eyes dangerously, straightens up because dammit,he thought he handled this.

“I. Am. Not.Interested.” He tries, wondering if the emphasis counts. “As appealing as theresearch capabilities are, I’m not taking any of the offers. At all, atall. I’m staying right the fuck here where I choose to be.”

And he sees Tony startto open his mouth to start-up with another fast and furious argument on whyGotham is a cesspool of death and more death, but Tim walks right overanything he might have started in on by just getting right up in Tony’s faceand laying it all out.

“I appreciate the fuckout of the interest, Dr. Stark. Thanks but no thanks.”

“I need someone tocheck you out obviously.”

“I like ithere.”

“Oh? And what’s hername Mister I-Like-It-Here?”

“His name,Tony, and their names for your information.”

That has the intendedeffect and makes his old mentor pretty much pause on the next syllable.

“But just so you know,they aren’t the only reasons why I’m staying in Gotham City. It’s more thanbeing close to my parents’ graves or close to my best friend and my niece. It’smore than just finally coming home, Tony. I belong here. I’m neededhere. It’s dirty and dangerous and so fucking what if there’s a guy in aBat suit running around kicking the shit out of criminals? It’s my city,so no. I’m not going anywhere.”

And Tony just blinksdown at him for long moments, this scene so painfully familiar from their daysof arguing back and forth during his “internship” with Stark Medical. It hadn’ttaken him long to understand what needed to be done to make someone like TonyStark change his mind.

Get all up in his faceand drop some truth bombs.

“I really, really hatethis,” Tony finally replies flatly, but his eyes are scrunched in amusement.

“I know. If I ever dowant to leave it behind, then you know the first place I’m going to go,” Timcomes back more gently, giving Tony a smirk.

Even though he’sobvious not happy about it, some of the pissed off fades out of Tony’sstiff posture. “Promise me, Drake. No one gets to kill you before I pick yourbrain about the neuro-stimulation device we’re working on.”

And with the obviouspun, he leans over laughing until his damn leg starts to ache and Tony has tohold him up by the arm so he doesn’t fall over.

The very impressiveRolls Royce greets Dr. Stark when he finally makes his way out the front doorsto attempt finding some palatable coffee.

The older man waitingby the passenger-side door is familiar enough that a smile cuts across Tony’sface.

“Alfred! Long time, nosee.” He smirks at the irony since his “visits” to Gotham didn’t alwayscoordinate with Pepper’s insistence he at least be in the city for SMbusiness.

“Master Stark, apleasure to see you again, Sir.”

“Always. Let me guess.You have some incredible coffee in there waiting for me?”

“Of course, Sir. Flavoredjust how you prefer.”

“You are a master ofall things, Alfred. Don’t even let Bruce tell you any differently.”

“I shall remind him atevery opportunity. However, you may do me a service and tell him yourself,”Alfred opened the back door with a slight flourish to show the billionairehimself sitting in the back, drinking from a thick, glass tumbler.

“Aw, Bruce, is that autility belt under your shirt or are you just happy to see me?”

The surgeon foldshimself down to get in, eyes sparkling for the slight scowl on his old friend’sface. He pays little attention to Alfred getting back in the driver’s seat andstarting the car. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t trust me inyour city.”

Tony stick up hispointer fingers at the side of his head, wiggling them to mimic the ears on theside of the cowl.

He’s smiling likecrazy when B just rolls his eyes and takes a deep pull from the tumbler.“You’re early, even after you’ve been running the gambit at your facility andStark Industries for the past few weeks. Forgive me for being curious.”

“I had to see anotherdoctor about a job prospect.”

“The doctor we have amutual interest in?”

“That would be theone. Next time he needs to be saved, leave the tights at home. Don’t you have aWE helicopter for a reason?”

“And exactly how wouldI explain that one away?”

“You have PR people,Bruce, let them have a field day with ‘rich socialite accidentally savespeople on a crumbling bridge.’”

“That would make morework for me as Bruce Wayne. Batman is a better figurehead for that kind ofthing.”

“Figurehead? Oh,you mean the persona you’ve gone to great lengths to hide as some kindof myth or urban legend all these years? That guy just suddenly shows up in thedaytime?”

“He’s beenphotographed before, Tony. Sometimes even with other superheroes, likeSuperman and Wonder Woman. All drawback of being on a team.”

“Teams are wonderfulthings, Bruce.

“Says you.”

And from a pocket inthe door, Bruce finally has a little bit of mercy on the overworked genius bypulling out a warm travel mug with the Batman logo on the front.

Tony laughs maniacallyfor long, painful moments, earning another eye-roll. The contents, however, arejust as Alfred promised: full of caffeine and just as tasty.

After a long moment ofsatisfaction, Tony lays his head back on the cushy seat and just sighs.

“You’re pushingyourself too hard,” Bruce admonishes gently. “I’m going to send the WE chopperto pick up Jim and Steve instead.”

That wakes him up.

“Don’t you even dare,B. I’ll never forgive you.”

“I’ve made worseenemies.”

Tony doesn’t snortcoffee up his nose, but really, it’s a close thing.

“You obviously can’ttake care of yourself,” Bruce is his usual brusk, no-nonsense about it, butTony can see there’s already some kind of plan in the making. “I can seewhy the two of them have such a hard time with you.”

“Says the guy thatneeded an emergency arthroscopy for meniscus tears.”

“Then I guess I’m verylucky you were in town.”

Tony hums, but hiseyes are sparkling. “How is the knee doing by the way?”

“It hurts when I breaksomeone’s jaw. Other than that, it’s fine.” And because it’s Bruce, he wavesit away without a second thought.

Tony hums again, buthis eyes go down to the knee in question.

Bruce sips his drinkagain while Alfred continues driving and Tony makes him wait for it.

Finally, once they’repassing the old Mylar building, B looks at him head-on, “all right. What did hehave to say?”

Trying not to grin,Tony shrugs a shoulder, “you’ve got nothing to worry about. Drake is staying inGotham, even with the more-than-generous offer I’ve made him. Believe me, B,I’m not happy about it, but he doesn’t seem too keen on leaving Mercy General.”

And as Tony is well-awarein their long and industrious friendship, the real Bruce Wayne is like a closedbook, doesn’t let even the smallest twitch break his facade (well, except infront of his boys, which is when BatDad makes an appearance), but thesigns of relief are really hard to miss for someone that literally kept B’sright arm moving after that rotator cuff injury.

“Dick and Jay will behappy to hear that, I suppose.” Tony observes with false cheer becausehonestly, who wouldn’t put two and two together at this juncture.

(Bruce isn’t the onlydetective. As a surgeon, Tony has to deduce with little evidence, so it’s notreally a shocker to find out the vigilantes have a doctor for a sweetie. Smartmove all around.)

“…yes, they will.Tim…?”

“He didn’t have to.You just told me yourself, Mr. Wayne.”

At the frown, Tonygives himself a mental point. The day he can get one up on the Batman is reallya day he needs to remember.

“All right, fine. Jayand Dick might have mentioned he’s been getting attention outside Gotham. I’vealready taken some steps to try making it seem like staying in the city mightbe a better deal.”

And Tony’s jaw drops,“you’ve been trying to get Mercy to partner with WE! That’s why they aren’tplaying nice with Pepper! Bruce, you devil.”

“Demon, actually, ifyou believe the stories,” and now it’s Bruce smirking into his tumbler. “We’lltalk more about it over dinner. Besides, the Batcomputer is on the fritz again.You can dazzle me over filet mignon.”

“Flatterer. How can Ipossibly say no?”

Bruce taps theintercom to tell Alfred they’re ready to go back to the Manor and Dr. Starkwill be joining them for the evening. Alfred gives him an affirmative and the planis set into motion. If there just happens to be a comfortable surfacefor Tony to pass out on during the visit, well, the pictures for Jim and Stevewould be well-worth the effort.

The conversation withTony didn’t end well, leaving him with a mental hangover by the time his shiftis finally over.

Night hadn’t startedbreaking away into dawn yet, so he’s still walking by dark alleys where thestreet lights are flickering.

He gets out a, “whatthe fuck–!?” before he’s just suddenly swept up off his feet by a strongarm holding him up hundreds of feet in the air.

Really, he should beused to things like this by now.

Robin undoubtedly givesno shits about how tight he’s holding onto the doctor or, the obviousdifferences in their height as punctuated by the botched landing, putting himliterally on his ass.

“Wow, thanks for the warning,Rob. I really didn’t need legs anyway.”

In some way that mightactually show he’s sorry, Robin bends down to pick up the cane and handsit over so Tim can get back on his feet.

“Alright, what’s goingon? Where are you hurt?” He doesn’t bother with niceties, just grips Robin bythe bicep and turns him, uses the cane to hold the cape out of the way. “Pleasetell me no one stabbed you because wouldn’t that just be ironic?”

He sees no blood ortorn suit. Takes a second look just to make sure.

Robin, in a creepyparody of his conversation with Tony earlier in the evening, is silent.

“Rob? Robin, what isit?”

A litany of oh shitruns through his brain pain in the form of toxins, mind control, and bloodborne pathogens (oh my).

“I have beeninformed,” the youngest vigilante starts slowly, “you are considering other opportunitiesoutside of Gotham, Drake.”

He blinks once. Doesit again while staring down at the whiteouts.

“Opportunities? Rob–Dami,what are you talking about?”

“Facilities are vyingfor you, offering you more advantages than any in Gotham possibly could.I understand the temptation of such offers–”

“Whoa, what? Wait aminute. Just. Wait.”

“However,” Robin goeson, his tone low in the night, “I am here to offer you a bargain.”

And that in no waywhatsoever sound anything less than ominous. Like, ‘I’ll promise not to takeout your spleen’ kind ominous.

He leans down a littleso the crime fighter doesn’t have to look up at him, “First: yes, I’ve gottensome job offers. It’s nice they’re thinking of me, really, but those offers arebased off a one-time emergency incident, not because they’ve seen me inaction or know anything about my…hobbies. They’re not offering a jobto me, Dami. Do you get that?”

The ensuing silenceand Bat-stillness are signs of the younger processing.

“Besides, I choseto come back to Gotham when I could have gone pretty much anywhere after myinternship with Stark Medical. You have no idea how many places wantedme on staff after I survived Tony Stark. If I wanted a job outside of the city,I could have had it in spades. The point is I chose to be here. I wantedto stay, and that? Isn’t going to change, okay? No bargains, no threats,nothing. I’m not leaving–”

He stops himselfbefore saying I’m not leaving Dick and Jay because really, he isnot, repeat Not talking to Dami about his relationship. Poor kid mightbe traumatized for life, so nope, not happening.

(Their last littleconvo to the vibe of ‘harm my brother and I shall eviscerate you per one ofyour textbooks. I shall do it slowly and methodically. Your screams would nottrouble me’ turned into a pretty good discussion on the best possiblescenario in effectively ripping someone’s spine out. His argument against thelogistics of it had spurned Robin out of the killing mood).

The obvious relief inthe small crime fighter is right there in how his shoulders sag just slightly.

“So, you’re going tohave to put up with me saving your ass when you do stupid shit like take on anarmy of zombified Jokers without backup.”

“Then…I shall haveno other option but to deal with your meddling when necessary,” the youngerwaves off his concern, but a corner of his mouth is tilted up just enough tonotice.

It’s really nice ofDami to drop him off on his fire escape. Walking would have been fine, but whenyou can travel Air-Robin, well, why not?

He pushes his windowup and gingerly eases in, maneuvering the cane to steady his leg. Hands are onhim before his head is inside and he wacks himself a good one in surprise.

Dick is smiling gentlydown at him, still gripping his elbow to steady him.

“That sounded like ithurt,” is a failed attempt at a joke because the mirth doesn’t reach the darkblue of Dick’s eyes.

Oh. OH. Welp, that’swhere Dami got this nonsense from, is it?

His stern lecture isgoing to have to wait for at least one cup of half-way decent coffee because hereally need to wind it up so the message hits home.

Jay is already there,his chair pulled out from the kitchen table and the pot filled with somethingdarker than the night.

“Hi honey,” he tiredlycalls, “did my boys have a good time kicking the shit out of bad guys tonight?”

Making grabby hand athim, Dick is one of his hugging moods, and pretty much lifts him off hisfeet to nuzzle/carry him to the table where blessed coffee awaited. Fine.Lecture pending.

He gets a last goodnuzzle to the face before the smell of pizza hits and a plate appears in frontof him. Jason leans down to blow a breath across his jugular before his mouthpresses just enough to be a kiss, the usual effect takes his nerve endings up anotch or two before the tease pulls away.

The three of them eatin sluggish silence, the strain of their night jobs hitting a little close tohome. The call of a communal shower and their large, comfortable bed a siren’ssong to the over-worked, sleep-deprived do-gooders.

But Tim knows them bynow, knows what’s already running them further down.

Through the last yearof their relationship, they’d already been through the whole we’re puttingyou in danger just by being with you argument.

Yes, yes it possiblywas.

Yes, he is fullyaware.

Yes, he can make hisown choices fuck you very much. Apparently, his no, not changing mymind is going to come out for a second time tonight.

“Robin picked me up onthe way home,” he starts out while the two of them are finishing up and lookingless likely to start up arguing before he’s made his point.

“Dami was still out?”

“What? Baby Bat ain’tget enough in that warehouse down on 23rd?”

Tim finishes off hiscoffee and finally sets his eyes on first Jason and then Dick. “Going to ask mewhat he wanted?”

Both crime fighters gostill, doing that eye slide thing they can still pull off with a domino andhelmet.

“Lay it on us,Timmers.”

“He pretty much askedwhat offer I was accepting for some mystery job half a continent away,”and now he’s glaring, eyes narrowing when Dick looks quickly away and Jasonsits back with a tense jaw jutting out.

“Which is absolutelyfucking ridiculous considering I like right where the hell I am.Where could he have heard such a thing, I wonder?”

Oh yeah, that’s Dick’sguilty expression.

“It’s fine if theywant to offer me a position, but the nice thing about it is that I can politelydecline, you know.”

“Top twenty facilitiesin the world, Timmy?” Dick’s voice is softer than he’d like, shakingly unsurefor a vigilante that literally risks his life every night to keep peoplehe doesn’t even know safe. “That’s not something to take…lightly.”

His mouth drops openwith an are you even kidding me?

“‘Sides,” Jayintejects without really looking at him, “ain’t like this is the fucking centero’ the world fer a fella like you, Sweets. Smart, sassy, moves like yerass is on fucking fire when someone’s on the line. Ya got moreguts than anyone outta the cape I ever met.”

“Gotham doesn’t haveto be the hill you die on,” Dick picks up, looking down into the sludge left atthe bottom of his coffee mug, “we would absolutely understand andsupport you if you even wanted to look into any of these places–”

“Even go ta seewhatcha might be lookin’ at,” Jay shrugs indifferently, “make sure ya’d findsomewhere safe ta build a nest.”

“The kind oftechnology they could offer you would be, like, ground-breaking stuff and…andGotham just can’t give you that, Tim.”

“No motherfuckersgonna break inta yer shit, I guaran-fucking-tee ya on that.”

“It’s not just beingin the ER or in surgery, it’s moving up to management or teaching or being afull-time researcher with grants and–and everything.”

“Make a safe routethere n’ back, you feel me? Me n’ Dickie’ll scope it out a few days, check the scene.”

“We would never wantto hold you back, baby. Not when the only thing Gotham has to offer you isexploding bridges and insane mad men that kidnap you and ninjas that are readyto attack at any second, and…and Timmy, you could never be safe, notreally, not here. Not even with us and B and Dami and everyone else,it’ll never be completely safe for you.”

“But fucking believeit, Timmers, we’ll make any place ya wanna lay yer head down as safe as wecan, yeah?”

“We…we love you, andwe want the best for you.”

“If leavin’ is what’sbest, Sweets, then we’ll make it fucking happen.”

It’s DIck’s voicecracking and Jay’s shiny, averted eyes that end it for him right then andthere.

He shoves himself upfrom the table abruptly, a jarring motion. The sound of the chair fallingbackwards a loud clatter against the softness of their voices. He keeps a handon the table top to walk around the damn thing and almost strangle Jason bylooping an arm around the base of his throat and pull the Red Hood into hischest. He holds out his other hand to Dick, glaring with the best of hisabilities.

It’s a tremulous thingwhen Dick rises tiredly out of his seat and takes that hand, lets Tim pull himover and secure the both of them to him.

“I’m going to say thisbecause it’s obvious the two of you are too tired to use your detective skillsfor anything more than superficial clues.”

Slowly, Jay’s face isin his stomach, arms wrapping around his waist while Dick secures his chest,the two of them almost holding him up.

“After all thefighting I’ve had to do to get here, to get this far, I’m not giving up jackshit. I run the gauntlet because that exactly where I want to be. I staywith my people because that’s my fucking team and no, I don’t wantor need another. I can watch Layla grow up into this kick ass little person andmake sure Steph has someone to Netflix and chill with while we kill a pint ofBen & Jerry’s. But what matters the most, what I can’t fucking give upis being here with the two of you in whatever capacity I can. Asyour boyfriend, as your surgeon, as the guy that is totally, you know, inlove with you. As someone that can share your lives like this. All of it isexactly what I want and what I get to choose. You two? Don’t get to tellme what’s best for me. I decide that. Got it?”

The quiet, still menattached to him give half-shuffling nods where they’re buried in him.

“I don’t want to hearanything else about leaving Gotham, like at all, okay? The answer is no.I’m not going anywhere to tour the facilities or listen to stupid speechesabout what they have to offer or how good the benefits package is. None of thatshit. They can’t offer me my ER, they can’t offer me time doing research in theBatCave, they can’t let me play around with alien DNA for a minute, and theycan’t give me you two. So? No. Case closed.”

Dick lets up justenough for him to tilt Jay’s head back and lean down to slide their lipstogether, giving the Red Hood a little something to seal the deal. Those eyesare bluer when he pulls back, making him smirk before he straightens up to giveDick the same treatment.

(Because they’re bothtall, he has to pull them down to effectively fuck his tongue in their mouths.Such a pain in the ass.)

When he pulls back,Dick gasps in a little, tightens his hold around Tim’s chest.

But the reliefpervades the air between them, giving him a reason to go a little more lax,just to feel them pretty much ready to hold him up completely.

“So the plan is,”he continues easily, one hand on the back of Jay’s neck to rub the tensionaway, and the other gripping Dick’s wrist tight enough to bruise tomorrow, “weget a nice, hot shower with plenty of scrubbing and maybe a little play time.Then, we climb in bed and pass the fuck out. You can fix your suits tomorrow,and we’ll all feel up to having dangerous acrobatic vigilante sex after about eight hours. If you’re both good,I’ll…I’ll wear that thing you got me for my birthday. Deal?”

He knows he’s alreadygot their acquiescence when both his boyfriends noticeably perk.

“That sounds like adeal to me,” Dick tries to be mock-grave, but he’s laughing in the back ofTim’s neck, running his nose over the knob of bone.

“Fucking righteous,Sweetheart. I been waiting ta see that.” Jay is grinning up at him with thatlook– all kinds of anticipation without any of the previous hesitation.

“Good. Peel yourselvesoff of me and lets get naked. For mostly clean purposes. Or not. Really, I’mpretty beyond compromised, so I’d probably like to make you both come at leastonce before I’m unconscious.”

“Sweet-talker,” Dickteases and steps to the side so he can be the first to lift their civilianboyfriend up in a princess hold that has become way too reminiscent in the pasttwo months.

“He’s just talkin’ my language, ‘at’s all, Baby Boy,” Jaystands to give him a fast n’ dirty before he gets their mugs to the sink andfills them with water to wash tomorrow. He hits the lights and follows his boysdown the hallway where slippery skin and things like I’m not giving upare waiting.

#doctor!tim #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #winter answers #my fic #my writing #this really was fun babe #bruce wayne #with guest star #tony stark #dr!tim

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