#graduated and was an excellent nurse until she retired

[shaunashipman]

just to put it out there, if bucktommy are still together at the close of the season 🤞🤞🤞 I am going to be insufferably petty. like disturbingly so. i'll try to limit it to the first 24 hours after I watch the finale, but those 24 hours will be filled with so much pettiness it might make your head explode

[stellarncva]

pink airpod max decorated with sanrio stickers ; a hot mug of jasmine tea ; mischievous giggles hidden behind delicate hands ; laying in the sun on a warm day ; dog - eared romance novels piled high on your bedside table ; pigtail braids tied with pastel ribbons ; the scent of vanilla, honey and caramel ; sparkly douyin eye makeup ; homemade pastries fresh out of the oven ; perpetually cold hands.

STATISTICS.

BASICS:

FULL NAME:  nova jade liu.

NICKNAMES:  supernova.

GENDER:  cis female.

PRONOUNS:  she/her.

SEXUALITY:  pansexual.

AGE:  twenty six.

DATE OF BIRTH:  march 11.

ZODIAC SIGN:  pisces.

OCCUPATION:  retired olympic figure skater / figure skating coach.

PINTEREST BOARD: here.

APPEARANCE:

FACECLAIM:  zhao lusi.

VOICE CLAIM:  zhao lusi

HEIGHT:  5'3".

BUILD:  slim & petite.

HAIR: very thick & black, waist length, naturally very straight, often curled in loose romantic curls or pigtail braids.

PIERCINGS & TATTOOS:  click for pinterest board.

OTHER DISTINGUISHING FEATURES:  beauty mark under left eye, scar across right palm from ice skate.

STYLE: click for pinterest board.

PERSONALITY:

TRAITS: + benevolent, empathetic, affectionate, determined, gentle, optimistic. - stubborn, indecisive, fanciful, indulgent, heedless, naive.

LIKES:  junk food, dressing up, shopping, art museums, sailor moon, the scent of cocoa butter, banana pudding, holding hands in public, strawberry lip balm, snuggling with her cat.

DISLIKES:  cigarette smoke, violence, overt p.d.a., animal cruelty, people who are rude to retail workers, loud noises.

FEARS:  drowning, heights & wasps/hornets.

PHOBIAS:  thalassophobia: fear of large bodies of water.

HOBBIES:  nail art, skincare, photography & ceramics/pottery.

PET PEEVES:  nail biting, people who are always late, people who don’t recycle.

FAVORITES:

ICE CREAM FLAVOUR:  cotton candy.

TIME OF THE DAY / NIGHT:  noon.

WEATHER:  sunny summer days, at least 85 degrees.

BREAKFAST FOOD:  hashbrowns.

DINNER FOOD:  grilled asparagus with garlic butter.

DESSERT: pain au chocolat.

COLOURS:  dusky rose, emerald green & tiffany blue.

ITEM:  star shaped locket.

COFFEE ORDER: iced white chocolate mocha with three pumps of white chocolate sauce, made with blonde espresso.

PERFUME: bianco latte eau de parfum by giardini di toscana.

BIOGRAPHY. tw cancer, tw death of a loved one.

nova was born to wei & katherine liu in cape may, new jersey in the spring of 1998. nova was named after katherine's friend in college, who introduced them. katherine was studying to become a nurse, while wei was studying to become a doctor, and they claim it was love at first sight. they married after katherine graduated, and within three years had nova jade. nova was a happy child, showered with attention and affection from both of her parents. nova an extremely patient and intelligent child and her parents used to joke that it was certainly not her first life on earth. she could read by the time she was three, and her parents were convinced she was going to grow up to be an engineer or a doctor, like her father.

when she turned three she was put into ballet classes, much like her mother was at the same age. she enjoyed it, being the social butterfly she was at that age... and she continued with it - until the next year during the 2002 winter olympics in salt lake. the family watched them religiously, and at the tender age of four nova seen figure skaters on television for the first time. the beautiful shimmering outfits and the gracefulness of the skaters seemed to captivate the four year old, and her parents couldn't help but notice. within a week she was being enrolled in a children's class at the local ice skating rink.

for as long as nova can remember she wanted to be on the ice, and as she got older it showed. she excelled and at the age of eight she was skating with the eleven and twelve year old girls, and by the time she was thirteen she was placing in regional competitions. long story short - she worked her ass off. stubborn as all hell, by the time 2014 came about, she was competing to make it into the olympics. after an unfortunate fall that injured her ankle, she didn't make it. but at the age of 16, she knew that she could try again... and at the age of 20 she ended up going to the 2018 olympics, and while she didn't place for a medal it didn't matter. all that mattered was that she was there, doing what she loved and being recognized for it on a global scale, and she would return to do the same in 2022, once again not placing for a medal, but it was enough for her, especially getting to skate in beijing.

in 2023 nova's mother katherine was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. she was given six months to live, and passed in four. while nova had been living alone when it happened, she moved in with her father while a friend stayed in her luxury apartment in a different area of the city, but has since moved back into her apartment. nova has by no means dealt with the death of her mother, and hides that she's in pain very well. after the passing of her mother, nova decided to retire from being a professional figure skater. competing in the olympics more than once was enough for her, and without her mother there to share her joy, it just wasn't worth it for her anymore. but, her love of skating made it easy for her to decide to start coaching. there were plenty of young girls in cape may and the surrounding area looking for a coach, and she was more than qualified.

HEADCANONS.

has been a vegetarian since she was eight, and almost went into animal medicine because of her love for animals. she even has a white babydoll persian named sugar whom is her pride and joy.

is allergic to shellfish.

listens to all kinds of music, but is having a bit of a kpop period, and is really into aespa. her other favorites include itzy, twice, ive & kiss of life.

doesn't usually drink, is almost always the DD, and because of this she has a very low tolerance for alcohol.

has a major sweet tooth, and often tries to make difficult baked goods she sees on the food network. it's not uncommon for her to pass them out to her neighbors and friends.

started collection seashells with her mother when she was little and now has an extensive collection, as she inherited her mothers.

suffers from g.a.d. (generalized anxiety disorder) and panic attacks.

loves to watch reality competition shows, and is currently watching ink master.

obsessed with my melody, and has tons of my melody accessories and collectables.

often wears her nails longer and gets her nails done professionally. she is very loyal to her nail tech and carries around business cards for him/her.

picks up fresh flowers weekly from the flower shop weekly, even though she sufers fromm allergy.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

ride or die / bestie. platonic soulmate. exes on good terms. exes on bad terms. cousins / aunts / uncles. high school sweetheart / first love. a bad boy/girl x good girl plot. confidant. unlikely friends. childhood best friend. enemy / rival. partner in crime. good influence. bad influence. enemy turned friend. flirtationship. mentor. anything else you think could fit!!

TAKEN CONNECTIONS.

childhood best friend : alana bishop. bad influence - mj turon. mutual dislike - adrian shepard. platonic soulmates - ricardo alvarez.

[seawoes]

     PARK JIMIN, HE/HIM, CIS MALE  —  HABAEK SEO  is a child of TYPHON with the power of POISON MANIPULATION and MONSTER CREATION.  they were born in 1995 and have been in nemean lion since 2013.  with the change, they HAVE GRADUATED FROM the MEDICAL role which makes sense since they’re usually SURFING or GOING ON MISSIONS.  

hello! i’m deni. i use she/them pronouns, am over the age of 18, and live in the gmt+9 timezone. i like giving my girlfriend forehead kisses and drinking too many sodas. baek is a newish character, so he may undergo a few tweaks as i develop him in threads. below is a quick outline and i have a few connection ideas. i’m looking forward to writing with everyone! it’s been too long since i played in the greek myth world :3  

stats.

name.  habaek seo preferred name.  baek birthday.  june 7th, 1995 ethnicity.  korean gender identity.  cis male sexuality.  pansexual hometown.  busan, korea element.  air

background.  ( abridged for now. adjustments to be made. )

 -  mother a volcanologist who hooked up with typhon  -   found out she was pregnant, returned to lecture full time in busan. married her best friend, a fellow researcher, who was baek’s “father”  -  baek attended private kindergartens and international schools, which made it easy for him when they bounced to new zealand, the philippines, mexico, and hawaii. basically anywhere his mother secured a researcher position until baek was 16.  -  first monster attack was a huge WTF moment for them. so was meeting a sea nymph and demigod duo who rescued them.  -  they were directed to nemean lion and had tearful goodbyes  -  he didn’t feel welcome at nemean lion. especially one his parentage became known around campus and he discovered his ability  -   baek escapes promptly 2 months into it to find his mom.  by that time, she’s settled in cozy with the nymph, who promises to protect them.  -  they’re able to travel the world again until baek graduates high school. as promised, he enrolls in nemean lion and learns how to better control his powers.  

quick blurbs.  -  teenage years were a lot of  “but mom, i’m a demigod”  smack!  but they adore each other baek talks to her all the time  :(  -  baek learned how to surf in korea, but excelled in the philippines. he actually won a few amateur competitions and considers pursuing a professional career constantly. -  currently enrolled in UCLA’s online college as a sophomore. pre-nursing major. planning to apply for the school of nursing soon.  -  has never met his father. doesn’t know a lot about greek mythology. isn’t super interested in it, either. knows enough since 16 yr old bullies basically used facts about his father & monster siblings as a weapon against him

nemean lion blurbs.   -  baek chose medical as his track because  a)  he wasn’t super fond of the idea of fighting for the rest of his life  b)  he initially wanted to return to the civilian world and be useful somehow and  c) there was definitely either a vibe or some self-doubt about his abilities since his father’s, yknow, that monster -  graduated from medical in 2014.  -  in 2017, he went on a disaster of a mission. a near-death, overwhelming experience. he wasn’t able to heal the assigned hero of that mission  -  one of his best friends  -  and damaged them forever. he promptly retired from an active healer. -  requested a transfer abroad to work as a teacher instead -  stuck to international campuses since. most recently stationed in south east asia.  -  reluctantly transitioned into an active healer role about two months ago when monster attacks became stronger, more aggressive. returned to LA about three weeks ago  ( timestamp: from start of RP opening )

powers.  -  specialties: poison inducement -  improved dexterity and endurance, poison and fire immunity -  strengths: healing, support, some combat and self-defense  -  weaknesses: insanity inducement messes with his mind -  weapon of choice: crossbow  /  bow and arrow -  doesn’t know about his ability to create monsters yet

* basically, baek will give someone hurt a “good” poison or induce someone into thinking they’re totally safe and healthy, tricking their brain. a placebo affect until they can get to actual safety. 

personality.

sun sign.  gemini. expressive, sociable and restless, baek’s driven by a sense of curiosity about other people and the world around him  -  and, to a self-interested degree, a curiosity about himself. he likes spending time with people, friends and family, but can lose interests in conversations quickly to move onto another. a touch irresponsible, but enthusiastic and adventurous when it comes to problem-solving. needs stimulation and freedom. 

moon sign.  virgo. practical, attentive and energetic. baek understands intuitively that the world is chaos, and sometimes things that don’t make sense just happen  -  and if problems are complicated, solutions are, too.  flips between nervous energy and detailed, hyperfocused work. finds comfort in domesticity or putting things into “order.”

chinese zodiac.  wood pig. simple, honest and lovely. sympathetic and understanding of other people’s problems, with a kind and liberal attitude towards life. however, rather temperamental, and he has a tendency to give up if the goings get too tough. tolerant of others, but are sometimes gullible and naive. 

hobbies.  surfing. diving. spelunking. hanging out at aquariums. meditating. getting tattoos. skateboarding. knitting. hiking. scoping out the best restaurants. hustling at arcade halls. anything he can use his hands with, or requires movement.

physical. 

body type.  five foot eight. slim, lean build. warm skin. eye color.  brown hair color.  dyed orange. black natural.  piercings.  left ear three times. right ear two times. tattoos.  mom’s date of birth on the inside of his right wrist. “HUMAN” on the left side of his rib cage. scars of a shark bite outlined around his right shoulder. protective lion’s head in between his shoulder blades.  clothing style.  a saint laurent paris style, but with a compact, limited closet and more beanies. prefers looser, breezy tops and slides or sneakers.  

-  smells like salt and sunscreen  -  body temperature runs higher than average 

[televinita]

Georgianna E. Herman

I went to an estate sale today in a SUPER cool little 1930s house -- I wanted to save EVERYTHING, but time and money stopped me -- and was so enchanted by all of it that I had to look up the house afterward.

It isn’t on the market but I looked up the owner just in case and OH MY GOODNESS THIS LADY SOUNDS SO AWESOME. I could tell she was awesome by the quality of her stuff and the fact that there was a small collection of older children’s books and a couple of manuals on ALA organization, but her obituary (the one sad part to this tale) tells such a story:

Died July 26, 2020, of complications from COVID-19.  “Georgie” was born in St. Paul December 12, 1931, to George Washington Herman and Grace Martineau Herman. She attended Horace Mann in Highland Park, University High in Minneapolis and then entered the University of Minnesota where she earned a degree in Business Administration.  Georgie had excellent grades in college but upon graduation in 1953 she already realized the management ladders in the corporate world at that time were not exactly wide open to women. 

She had been working as a part-time librarian in the University’s Industrial Relations Department.  When she graduated that job was offered to her on a full-time basis.  She took it and turned it into a career.  Over the next 48 years she was able to take a small, unorganized collection of materials and slowly build it into one of the best human resources and industrial relations libraries in the nation. In 2001, when she retired, the Carlson School of Management, “in tribute for her 48 years of dedicated service developing a premier collection used by faculty, students and professionals,” renamed the library the Georgianna E. Herman Reference Room.  Georgie was also twice honored by the students with the Herbie Award;  received the Human Resources Professionals of Minnesota Excellence Award; and the Distinguished Achievement Award from the University of Minnesota Alumni Society.

Georgie once said, “I know I don’t look like a person who has a library named after her but you can’t imagine how much fun that is.”  Indeed, although Georgie and her family knew some hard times—her father died suddenly in 1940 when Georgie was still in elementary school--Georgie was a free spirit who managed to find fun in almost everything she did.  Her sunny disposition remained the hallmark of her personality throughout her life. 

Until moving to Sunrise Senior Living in Roseville last October, Georgie had lived happily since 1936 in the home her parents built in Highland Park.  Like her mother, who died in 1983, Georgie enjoyed entertaining and hosting dinner parties. She was an avid miniaturist and amassed a large collection of doll houses and furnishings. Her greatest pride and joy, however, was her garden.  Her annual garden party was a tradition. In her last decades, with the help of her longtime landscaper, Jim Rantala,-- “My Jim” she called him--she oversaw many improvements that turned her large wooded back yard into a uniquely secluded Eden.

In her youth Georgie had spent many summers in St. John, a small town near the North Dakota/Canada border, to which her grandparents on her mother’s side (Martineau) had migrated from Quebec in the 1880s. Georgie’s grandparents were prominent pioneer settlers in St. John.   They started North Dakota’s first telephone company, ran a general store and resort hotel for many years and raised a large family.  Georgie was proud of her French Canadian heritage, habitually sprinkled her conversation with French phrases, and longed to revisit the area where she had learned so much in her youth.  She credited that early experience of small town life with helping to equip her for the life she intentionally set out to live as an independent woman.

Expressions of gratitude are merited for a great many who helped Georgie navigate the final leg of her earthly voyage, including the staff and care givers of Sunrise of Roseville, Touching Hearts at Home, Home Instead and the Highland Block Nurse Program, with special mention for the home team of Mister B, Randi, Julie, Susie, Jim, Hilary and others without whom it would have been impossible for Georgie to have remained in her home for as long as she did.

Georgie was preceded in death by her parents and one younger brother, Karl.  She leaves many friends, including special friend, Hank Borg (Barb), of Roseville, who served with Georgie’s brother in the U.S. Army, and who has been a faithful brother to both Karl and Georgie ever since.  She is also survived by a host of Martineau cousins, descendants of her pioneer grandparents.

Mass of Christian Burial at 10:00 o’clock a.m., Thursday, July 30, 2020, at Lumen Christi Catholic Community, 2055 Bohland Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55116.  Burial at Calvary Cemetery.

Memorials preferred to the University of Minnesota Foundation for the Georgianna E. Herman Library of the Carlson School of Management or to Como Friends

[hayjeon]

Cut Me Open (ft. Yoongi) Part 02 [M]

→ marriedcouple!au, surgeon!au spin-off from CardioPalps → 15k words, rated for sex, possible triggers (talk of divorce/miscarriage/family issues), and medical jargon that took me 5ever to research 

→ part 1 | part 2 | story talk | fin.

Yoongi graduated top of his class at Harvard. He’d excelled so well that he was immediately recommended to Seoul Gen, where his parents lived, and was happily relocated to intern at the huge hospital. Under Do Kyungsoo, one of the scariest but smartest residents, he had excelled even more, learning so much and becoming one of the best interns Seoul Gen had ever seen. When Kyungsoo retired and appointed him as co-director of the neuro department, it was smooth sailing from these. 

Yoongi never really had too much trouble in his love life either. In high school and college, his passion and drive had always attracted a girl here and there, and he’d always gotten his fix. But then you came along, and you flipped it out of nowhere. 

Instead of girls just being the main reason to compliment him and fuel his ego, you made him a better person. You challenged him, and you even beat him sometimes at your tests. You were his fuel for everything. 

But somewhere along the way, Yoongi had lost it. He’d lost his grip on everything, his surgeries, his marriage, his superiority. 

It all started with the day he accidentally sprained his finger while he was looking for flowers. A mistake, was all it was. Feeling like the both of you had been a little out of loop, with your differing schedules, Yoongi had driven straight to the closest flower shop to catch the owner wrapping up the store, smiling apologetically as he ran inside to grab the first thing he saw. But then he wasn’t paying attention and had closed his car door on his index finger. 

Wincing, he’d cried out, and had gone back to the hospital, showing Ortho his finger and getting a cast for it. His surgeries after that were difficult, the junky silver metal wrapped around his finger awkward and too weird to handle flawlessly, especially when he was probing the sensitive brains of a patient. 

One by one, his surgeries started to become a bit more difficult to handle, and the stress of possibly messing it up began to take a toll on him physically, and mentally.

The flowers were forgotten in the car, and when he finally remembered them, they were already too wilted and gross to give to you. 

You deserved the best. 

Which is why when you got pregnant, fulfilling all of his wishes and dreams, he’d done his best to make sure that you were stress free. He was the one who bought the furniture and assembled it, coming way too close to accidentally hammering the healing finger, and taking surgeries off to spend time with you. 

The month after that was fine, and he’d enjoyed it. It was like you two were interns again, coming home to eat whatever you wanted, lounging on the couch in eachother’s arms watching and laughing at shows, and decorating the new room in your house. It felt wonderful. 

But one day, you woke him up with bleary eyes and a trembling lip as you told him about the miscarriage. He hugged you until you fell asleep and spent the day cleaning the room, de-assembling everything and packing it away neatly so you didn’t have to go through the stress of looking at all the reminders again. 

He heard, heard from Sehun that it wasn’t only because it was embedded in the fallopian tune instead of the uterus, but also because your blood sugar levels were incredibly low. You weren’t taking care of yourself. 

He knew you were keeping a strict diet to make sure your appearance on television was good enough to draw in a regular viewing audience, and it was important, professionally, to do so. But on top of all your hectic schedules, the tall heels you were always teetering on, and the irregular schedules and horrible morning sickness....”It all added up,” Sehun explains. “I didn’t tell her because I knew it would kill her. She loves this job, man.” 

“Thanks,” Yoongi mumbles, patting Sehun’s arm. “You did good, not telling her that part. I’ll make sure she’s eating okay.” 

And he did. Yoongi did his best. He took off more surgeries, more time to make sure he was home when you came home, cooking the healthiest and fullest meals that he’d ever taken care to do. But...what did it do? What good did it do when everytime you came home from work, you’d trudge over to the bedroom and just faceplant onto the bed? You pushed him off whenever he tried to talk, began sighing and mumbling about “alone time” whenever he tried to help, and fell asleep before he could initiate anything. 

Cold leftovers were one by one thrown out, while Yoongi’s reputation at the hospital began spiraling down. 

After the finger breaking spectacle, he was on thin ice. Already, three surgeries hadn’t gone well under his watch and Seoul Gen had to call for help from a neighboring specialist to come in and monitor his surgeries. A major professional disappointment for the hospital and him. 

But then he began taking more time off for the pregnancy, and then the miscarriage a month after, and then the whispers and wry looks started. Maybe it was just him, but was the Chief low-key scheduling him less than compared to the other doctors? His name appeared next to more low-risk surgeries, scheduled the day of and the bigger, most interesting cases were handed off to the other guys in his department. 

Frustrated, Yoongi couldn’t do anything. He felt as if his life was a scale: on one side was you, clinging onto a thread attached to his wrist. On the other, was his career and everything he’d worked for, the single reason he met you in the first place. It was also hanging from a thread. Whenever Yoongi reached for the other, one would fall, slipping away through his fingers and he was so scared, so afraid that he would lose it all. 

And...he lost you. 

The night you brought up the divorce...it was his fault. He’d forgotten about the anniversary. He’d gotten yelled at by the Chief, and had brazenly accepted a difficult 15-hour surgery without hesitation to try and prove that he was still in the game. Unfortunately, his phone was left in his office the whole time and he had missed everything, including his assistants reminders, his personal reminders, your calls, your texts, everything. 

That day, the surgery had gone impeccably well, but he’d come home to have the other half of life completely fall apart. 

When you laid it in front of him, explaining that you were sick and tired, so so tired of waiting for him, so tired of being “too busy” and so tired just of everything, Yoongi couldn’t say anything. 

He was weak. Weak, because he couldn’t hold onto you when you said you were leaving, but also weak, because he had let you believe that he’d stopped loving you. 

How could he stop loving you? You were his anchor, his rock, his meaning for everything. He worked hard so that you wouldn’t have to do surgeries. The reason why his mother had laid off of your back? Was because you weren’t doing surgeries anymore, but more “lady-like” things like brunches and television shows. It was because he’d taken on double the load when the both of you became co-leaders. 

And maybe his surgeries had gone not-so-well because he’d been busy fending off the new assistant who was obviously interested in him even though he’d told her off multiple times. 

“Break up with her,” Jooyoung purred into his ear, weeks before you brought up the divorce, as she and him whizzed through surgeries together. 

“I don’t talk about personal issues during surgeries,” Yoongi comments, not taking his eyes off of the tumor he was cauterizing. “And also,” he glances up, glaring at her behind his mouth mask and glasses, “Refrain from talking to me, outside of anything. Forever. Suction, please.” 

She rolls her eyes, expertly applying suction to where he instructed. He couldn’t deny, although she was such a meddlesome bitch, she was definitely one of the best surgeons he’d ever seen. Way after you though, of course. Huffing, she continues to hold the skin of the brain aside as he continues probing for the white mass. “You guys don’t even talk. I’ve heard gossip that your marriage has been rocky.” 

“Jooyoung.” He warns, glaring up at her again, and she finally shuts up. 

Yoongi finds the tumor with ease and finishes up the surgery with no problem at all. Hoseok, the nurse practitioner, follows him out as Yoongi removes his scrubs, eyeing his longtime friend as he sighs and begins cleaning himself. 

“You alright man?” 

Yoongi sighs. “I don’t know.” 

Hoseok joins him at the sink, running his hands and arms through the cold water. “Is it true? T-that you and Y/N have been having problems?” 

Sighing, Yoongi shuts off the tap, wiping clean the rest. “Yeah. Not sure how it got around though.” 

Hoseok follows him to his office, sitting on his couch as Yoongi collapses into his swivel chair. “Well, have you and Y/N talked about it? I mean, like after the miscarriage and all?” 

“I don’t know...” Yoongi sighs, running his hands over his face. “Hoseok...did you and your ex-wife ever have issues like that? Like I mean...it just feels like I don’t even know her anymore, you know?” 

Nodding, Hoseok falls back into the cushions, scrolling through something on his phone. “Yeah, we got married right out of nursing school. But our schedules...they just didn’t match. And at one point, it just became that fighting was the only thing keeping our marriage together. Arguing became our only way of communicating anything. And so...I let her go.” He raises his eyebrows, and Yoongi sighs. 

“We...don’t even fight. That’s the thing.” 

Hoseok shrugs. “I don’t know man, sometimes when the other person wants out, if you love her, letting her go is the best choice. It was for us,” he corrects, reminding Yoongi, “It doesn’t mean that’s what you have to do.” 

Yoongi groans, and leans back in his chair. 

His phone rings, and he leans forward and presses the receiver to his ear with his eyes still closed. “Hello?” 

“Ah, Yoongi, can you come to my office please?” 

He sits up, straightening up. “O-oh, Chief. What’s the issue?” 

Dr. Bang clears his throat. “Just come here, Yoongi. I’d like to talk to you in person.” 

Yoongi nods at Hoseok who leaves with a wave and an empathetic expression and sets the receiver down. He walks over to the office and pushes the nice doors open to find Dr. Bang reading something on his desk. When Yoongi enters, the chief smiles, setting his book down, and gestures for Yoongi to take a seat. 

“Yoongi,” he says, father-like and all warm, “I wanted to call you in here because I wanted to tell you in person.” He leans forward, smiling gently. “I’m retiring.” 

Yoongi’s eyes widen, “Oh my g--chief, seriously?” 

Chief nods, sullenly and nostalgically looking around the office. “My time here has come to an end. I...I wanted to ask, if you were interested in taking my spot.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “Ch-chief...I don’t understand...why me?” 

Dr. Bang shrugs. “I want to ask you and Y/N to do it together. She couldn’t make it here today, but I’d be most comfortable and at peace to leave it in your hands. You two have been interns, residents, and attendees here for 8 years, and all the other senior attendees have either left or retired early. You both know this hospital, inside and out. There’s no other person I’d be happy leaving this place in its hands.” 

Sighing, Yoongi leans back in his chair. “Sir...We....we’re having a lot of trouble lately. I...I can’t take this job. Our marriage...it’s becoming really hard to even be husband and wife together, but if we take this position...I’m sorry chief,” Yoongi says, standing. “I can’t take this. I don’t know how Y/N feels but I for sure can’t take this.” 

The chief nods, mulling it over. “And if Y/N wants to take it? You know it’s not going to look good with the Board if they find out your marriage isn’t going well. And...to be honest, the lot of them are old and still don’t believe in a woman being in a superior position than her husband.” 

Yoongi hovers by the doorway. “If it’s what she wants...give it to her. I’ll figure something out. I have a feeling our marriage won’t be an issue for long.” 

“Come, gather around,” Dr. Bang ushers the rest of the doctors into the meeting room, waiting impatiently for everyone to file in and get seated. “You all come running when there’s an interesting patient but gathering all of you for a meeting feels like I’m trying to run a government.” He rolls his eyes and you chuckle from your place. 

As he finishes, Yoongi comes sauntering in, hands stuffed in his gown pockets, collapsing in the leather chair next to yours. 

You roll your eyes, turning your chair to the other direction. You crinkle your nose at his attire, still clad in the scrubs he was wearing during his morning surgery. He catches your expression, internally groaning at the lecture he knows is coming. 

“Wanna stop glaring lasers at my outfit?” He quips, quirking an eyebrow at you. He’s chewing on a candy bar, just like you’d always nagged at him not to. He always had a habit of eating sweets after a surgery instead of actual meals and good nutritious balanced snacks. 

You grumble, as Dr. Bang dims the lights and begins his introduction. “You really couldn’t have taken 3 minutes to go to your office and change into your suit?” 

He sighs, finishing the lollipop with a crunch, and shattering it between his molars. “Don’t have time,” he grumbles. 

It’s because you were the one who always sent his stuff to the dry cleaners and had his assistant put it back in his closet. Min Yoongi was smart, but had absolutely no idea how to take care of himself. Even with an assistant. 

You’d stopped doing him favors once you had that....conversation. Seems like it was taking its toll. 

“You never had time for anything.” You mumble, scribbling on the document in front of you. “Also nice of you to actually show up.”

He sighs, “Oh god, stop before you start nagging again. Jeez, let’s just have a meeting where there’s some peace and quiet, yeah?” 

You blink, reading through the powerpoint, but not really processing it. “Just...just sign the papers Yoongi.” 

He doesn’t respond. 

Present

Yoongi walks into the meeting, Jooyoung trailing behind him. You grit your teeth as you squeeze the pen in your hands. Dr. Bang had called a final meeting, and all of you were forced to be here. But you particularly because he was about to announce the next Chief. Jungkook sees the action and gives you a small smile, taking the pen out of your hands and placing it gently out of your reach as you roll your eyes.

“I knew it,” you mutter, “They’re fucking.” 

Jungkook sighs, rubbing your shoulder. “Y/N,” he murmurs like you’re a small toddler. “You know Yoongi would never do something like that.” 

You sigh, turning to him. “You never know men Jungkook.” 

He puts his hands up to protect himself, “Woah woah, okay don’t turn this on me. I’m happily married and have a family.” 

Rolling your eyes, you sigh and turn back to the agenda as the lights dim and the Chief takes his place on stage. 

“I wanted to call this final meeting to finalize my retirement.” He smiles forlornly, glancing around the huge circular hall of doctors and residents that he’d raised literally from day 1. “It has been a pleasure, and an honor serving you all as Chief of surgery, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

“Doctors,” he continues, “are workaholics with god-complexes, uncapable of truly separating emotions and work. That’s what they say,” he chuckles, “But as I have worked alongside the lot of you, I have never, ever met such a group of passionate young people as you all. You guys put your heart and soul into making this hospital the place that it is. And I am so honored to have been able to call Seoul Gen the place that I have placed all my work, blood, sweat, and tears into. You all have grown, so much. Thank you.

“Now join me in applause as I invite up the next Chief of Surgery to take my place. Y/N Min,” he smiles, holding out an arm to you, and you stand, bowing to the audience as you take your place up on the podium next to him. 

Everyone bursts out in applause, and you smile and take the mic, thanking the chief. “Thank you everyone for joining me here today for yet another boring meeting.” Everyone joins you in laughter, and you just smile and continue. “It...it has been an honor serving you as an intern, resident, and attendee, and now co-leader of the neurosurgery department. I can’t imagine spending my life elsewhere, and this has been a dream of mine, to become a Chief that cares about her peers and her patients. I will work incredibly hard, these next few years, alongside you all and will make my best efforts to fill the shoes that Chief Bang is leaving behind, and become someone who makes all of you proud.” 

You smile, tears brimming in your eyes as everyone stands in applause, and you see your friends, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and Jin, and even your nurses with Hoseok, and even the nervous scared intern Namjoon whoops in the back of the stadium for you. 

Taking the flowers from Suho, you grin and smile, as camera click away and step down from the podium. 

Once the meeting is over, you’re bombarded with congrats and hugs from friends and peers, but your eyes linger on Yoongi who hesitates by the doorway, but leaves eventually anyway. Plastering on a smile, you just grin and take pictures anyway, trying not to let your gaze stray towards the entry. 

Suho accompanies you to your office, agreeing to join you later to help you gather all your things into boxes and help you move into the Chief’s office. 

Setting down the flowers and cards, you pad over to your bookshelf, and begin packing away your old medical books. As you set each leather-bound book neatly into the box, you come across an old booklet and open it with a forlorn smile. 

Flipping through the pages, you grin as you read through all the tiny notes you scribbled in the margins during late nights studying. Also, little encouragements dot the corners, like, “Don’t give up!” “Keep going, only 4 more pages,” bring a smile to your face as you perch on the edge of your desk. 

Never did you realize, that you’d be acheiving your dream so quickly. All you wanted when you walked into this hospital 8 years ago with a huge smile on your face, was to ultimately become a Chief. And you’d done it, slowly working your way up from a measly intern into the next chief of Surgery. 

But as you flip to page 254, your finger stops as your smile falls. Nestled into the pages, is a polaroid of you and Yoongi, smiling up into the camera, and in the bottom, you’d sharpied in the date. 

It was from your third date, when you and he were still infatuated with each other. 

You run your fingers over the glossy material, feeling your heart twinge at the view of Yoongi’s gummy smile next to yours. You both were so young...so innocent and so ambitious. It was a fun date.

“What are your goals?” You ask him, at the diner near the hospital. 

“Huh?” He frowns at you, a fry hanging out of his mouth. “What do you mean?” 

You shrug, taking a thoughtful sip from your shake. “I don’t know, we’re interns, and then we’re gonna become residents and all...but like ultimately, you know? What do you wanna do?” 

He stares down at the burger in his hands, and chews slowly. “I...I don’t know.” He says. “I never really thought about it. I guess...just become an attending and just make enough money to retire early?” 

You laugh, and he looks up at you, wiping a bit of ketchup from the corner of your mouth. “Really? Yoongi! You’re so competitive, I never thought you’d have such normal dreams.” 

He snorts, “Normal? Fine then,” he says, leaning forward with a wicked grin, “What are your dreams?” 

You grin at him, answering immediately. “Chief.” 

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “Ch-chief? Chief of Surgery?” 

You nod, grinning as he whistles. “Damn...that’s like...another decade or so.” 

Shrugging, you finish off your chicken strips. “Yeah, but I’ve always wanted to do that. To become...a chief who cares you know? I want it more than anything else.” 

He nods thoughtfully, “Well,” he agrees, “I’ll help you.” 

Your eyes widen. “Seriously?” 

Laughing, he sips his soda. “Damn right. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you get that position.” 

Sighing down at the photo you set it aside on your desk. You’d achieved everything professionally. But you were also stuck in the middle of a divorce situation, and there was nothing else that would change that. You had everything, but your marriage and love life, was collectively one thing that you’d lost completely. 

Closing the book, you raise your chin to survey the shelves of your bookcase, reaching up to bring down a picture frame of you and Yoongi’s wedding day. You’re clad in a beautiful dress, although heavy and ultimately chosen by your mother-in-law, you remember Yoongi’s face when he saw you in it. 

“Yoongi, you gotta say something,” you giggle, grinning up at him. Spinning on your heel, you hold your arms out. “How do I look?” 

He just stares down at you, slackjawed, and then you realize his eyes are red and wet. 

“Oh my god, Yoongi, are you crying?!” You gasp, and the photographer snaps away at the sight as you laugh at him. “Oh babe,” you whisper, holding his cheeks in your hands. “Please don’t cry. Or else you’ll make me cry, and then I’ll be mad that you made me ruin my makeup. Don’t even mention what your mother would do if I did that.” 

The last part makes Yoongi chuckle, as he sniffles and wipes his eyes with his hands, holding you at arms length to take a good look at you. “You...” he hiccups, “Look so beautiful.” 

He leans in and kisses you, hands cradling your jaw and your fingers curl around his wrists as the photographer clicks away at the beautiful scene. “You’re perfect,” he coos against your lips. “So perfect, so beautiful. You’re everything I ever wanted. The dress is beautiful.” 

You laugh, grinning into his lips. “You know your mother chose it. It itches so much, and it’s so damn heavy.”

Grinning, he leans in closer to your ear so only you can hear what he says next. 

“Then it’ll feel much better when I rip it off of you later.” 

“Yoongi!” 

You set down the frame, closing the stand and setting it face down into a box with the rest of your things. You finish off most of the books, leaving behind a few folders and things for Suho to pass onto the filing department. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock on your door. “Come in,” you call out, and turn to see its Yoongi. 

Setting down the books you were holding, you watch him come in. “Busy?” he says nervously, ditching his usually sarcastic tone for a softer one. 

Still feeling a bit nostalgic, you reply similarly. “No,” you sigh, dusting your hands off. “Just...clearing a few things up.” 

He looks down at the books, nodding. “Oh, right.” 

A silence ensues, and you swallow heavily, not knowing what to say. 

He speaks up. “I...congrats. I came here to say congrats.” 

You smile a bit, clasping your hands together. “Thanks.” 

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” 

You nod, perching on your desk. “Yeah...” you trail off, not knowing what else to say to him. He looks so tired. You want to reach out to his face and smooth back the wrinkles in between his eyebrows like you always did, but you can’t. Usually you would encourage him to take a nap before he tried driving home. When he looked like that...he just happened to always doze off on the wheel. 

But you can’t even move forward to reach for him. 

“Here,” he says, holding out a manila folder. “I....I signed them.” 

Your eyes widen as you reach out to take them from him. Your breath leaves your lungs, huffing out from your nose. “You...you’re going through with this huh?” You ask him, eyes stinging. 

He meets your gaze. “It’s what you wanted.” He says softly, “I promised. I promised to do whatever it took to get you here.” 

Frowning, you step towards him but he’s already leaving. “Wait, Yoongi, what?” 

The door closes shut behind him and you stop, lips trembling and tears already falling down your face. 

In just a few moments, your marriage had completely ended. He didn’t even try to hold on to you. He didn’t even try. 

“I...I want a divorce, Yoongi.” you’d said, perched on your vanity, form slumped forward as you delivered the words to him. 

He didn’t even flinch. “Is...is that what you want?” 

Your eyes lift up to him. Was that all he was going to say? “What?” You frown up at him. 

He sighs, running his hand over his face tiredly. “If that’s what you want...then I’ll do it.” 

You frown, rolling your eyes exasperatedly. “Seriously? That’s it?” 

“What...what do you want me to say, Y/N?” He says, throwing his hands up in the air. “All we do is fight. No, no. We don’t even fight,” he laughs bitterly. “We don’t even talk to each other dammit. And I can see how much it hurts you. If it makes you happier to just stop it here...then lets do it.” He says bitterly, staring up at you with red-rimmed eyes. 

You bite your lip, body trembling with anger and betrayal. “Fine,” you grit out, “Get out.” you point towards the door with a shaking arm, other hand clasped in a fist. 

He doesn’t even argue with you, hastily grabbing his keys and wallet from the nightstand before stalking out. Before the door slams, he bitterly calls out. “Just know that I tried. This is what you want!” 

The slam echoes throughout the house that you and he built and designed together.

You let the arm drop to your side as you collapse onto the ground, cries racking your entire body and shoulders shaking as you bury your head into your arms, rocking back and forth as you cry yourself to sleep on the carpet near the bed. 

Finishing the rest of the bookshelf is harder with the weight of the completed divorce papers on your desk, glaring back at you in its white glory. You’d opened it, and gazed at the scratch of Yoongi’s handwriting in the end, the date scribbled neatly next to his loopy signature. Alongside it, was your own version. You finish the rest of your room, emptying out your desk drawers and closets and packing them neatly into boxes. 

Suho comes in and takes away all the boxes, leaving you standing in the empty office with just the folder in your hand. You don’t know why you didn’t give it to him when he came by. 

But you realize now, sitting in the empty office that was once designed perfectly to be right next to your husbands, that Yoongi’s action of handing you the finalized papers was his way of letting you make a final decision. 

You laugh bitterly. It was always like that. He never fought for it. He just kept saying that he’d let you do what you wanted. You sigh, as you take slow steps outside, to where you know Suho is sitting in his office. All you had to do was hand the papers over to him...and it would be over. 8 years of marriage. It would just be over. 

When you turn the handle to your office, your phone buzzes in your white coat. Frowning, you tuck the papers under your arm as you open the call from an unknown number. 

“Hello?” 

“Hello? Is this Mrs. Min?” Someone says over the receiver. 

Frowning, you walk over to Suho’s desk, and lean on the counter as you answer. “Yes....what can I help you with?” 

The person says slowly. “Mrs. Min, your husband was in a four-way car collision. You’re gonna have to come to the emergency room.”

You ditch the heels, chucking them somewhere as you run from your office towards the elevators. 

Jamming your finger into the button, you cry hysterically as you push it over and over, but the elevator is on a totally different floor. Screaming in frustration, you throw open the door to the stairs and climb the six flights down to the emergency room, whipping around to see if Yoongi had gotten here yet. 

There, in the entrance, the sirens of an ambulance wail in the distance and you see a few gurneys being rolled in. Scampering up to them, you look at the faces until you see a familiar one. 

“YOONGI!” You yell, running up to the gurney being wheeled in. His face is pale, and his lip is busted, blood running down his brow and chin. 

“Miss!” The paramedic yells, trying to wrestle you away. “You can’t be here!” 

You realize you forgot your white coat and your heels, and look like a complete stranger. Suddenly, Taehyung comes up to the gurney, putting his stethsoscope into his ears. “She’s with me,” he breathes out, and you nod as you help wheel the gurney into the room. 

The paramedic reads out, “34 year old male, involved with a four-car collision in the freeway. Unconscious from head injury against the wheel and inherent malnutrition and exhaustion. Collarbone shattered on impact, and probably a few broken ribs.” 

You breathe out in relief, shoulders slumping as you watch him be transported onto the hospital gurney. “So...he’s ok?!”

The paramedic nods, “We’re sorry for the alarming phone call, but he wasn’t responding well to the painkillers.” 

You nod, wiping your face with your hand. “Yeah...he’s allergic to the usual one.” 

The paramedic nods, leaving silently and Taehyung cuts open Yoongi’s shirt to see bruises littering his torso. His shoulder is bruised nastily and you can see the odd disfiguration. Yoongi’s skin is absolutely pale and his cheeks look so ghaunt. 

“Jeez,” Taehyung whispers as nurses scurry around your husband, hooking him up to machines and such. “That’s a nasty break. He’s probably gonna have to go into surgery for the collarbone. But he’ll be alright. Don’t worry Y/N. We’ll schedule one right away.” 

You nod, collapsing into the chair, and scooting up to look at your husband. “Jesus,” you breathe, “You really scared me.” You whisper at him, reaching out to curl a hand over his calf. “You...you really scared me Yoongi.” 

You don’t even have anymore energy to cry as Yoongi is wheeled into surgery and Ortho begins to repair the ribs and the collarbone. Sitting, slumped in the waiting room, you spin the wedding ring around on your finger, a habit since you started wearing it. 

Kihyun exits the ward an hour later, removing his mask, and smiling at you. “He’s fine, Y/N. Don’t worry. He’ll just be confined to a bed for about 6 weeks, but he’ll be okay once he goes through PT and all.” 

You nod, biting your lip. “He’ll be off of the anesthesia soon right? How much did you give him?” 

Kihyun frowns at the clock. “Ah, it should be wearing off by now. He’s in the VIP ward.” 

You thank him and run to the room, throwing open the door and running up to him laying down on the huge bed. 

“Yoongi,” you whisper, and he groans, eyebrows furrowing as he comes to. “Yoongi, can you hear me?” 

He blinks groggily, frowning up at you and squinting at the light. “W-what...what? What’s going on, Y/N?” 

You smile, breathing out exasperatedly, tears now flowing freely as you collapse onto the bed, burying your face in his hand as you cry. “Oh my god...” you wail, “Thank you...” you say to no one in particular. “Thank you...” 

“What’s going on?” He croaks, frowning at his surroundings.

You blink up at him, wiping away your tears. “Y-you fell asleep at the wheel, Yoongi. And then you hit your head on your wheel and lost consciousness immediately and broke your clavicle and four ribs. You just came out of surgery from ortho, but you’re gonna be alright.” 

He frowns down at the IV plugged into his hand and the thick cast wrapped around his torso. Blinking groggily at his surroundings, he zeroes in on you. His hand twitches but he doesn’t do or say anything as he observes your swollen eyes and blotchy cheeks. 

You both sit in silence for a while, just warily watching each other. 

You speak first. “You....you became unconscious because you’re malnourished. And they diagnosed you as extreme fatigue. Are you okay?” 

He just watches you, eye bags drooping down to his cheeks. Your hand twitches, wanting to reach out and smooth his cheek. But you just wait for him to respond. 

He chuckles a bit, and winces when it puts strain on his broken collarbone. You watch him calm down, and he just gives you a sad smile.  

You clear your throat, grabbing the files at the foot of his bed and reading through his documents with shaking hands. Taehyung had been pretty detailed in his reports, careful to make suggestions and little notes here and there for you. 

Flipping through the pages you wince at the amount of painkillers he’s gonna need, and walk over to lift his free hand that’s not wrapped up in his cast. Maneuvering it around a bit, you hum, adding a few more notes. 

“Your left hand is okay, but you’re gonna have to be careful with your right hand. Which means no heavy lifting for this week and even being careful when using it for menial tasks.” 

He groans, wincing as he tries to sit up. You rush over and help press the button for the bed to stay propped up. “Even that!” you nag, sighing at the way he groans at the movement. 

“Here, drink this first.” You grab him a cup of water and lift it to his lips, watching as he carefully obliges, taking huge gulps of water. Setting the cup down, you take a seat next to his bed, and as if on cue, the nurse comes in, wheeling the day’s meal. 

You thank her and accept the tray, and set it up on his bed tray. He takes the spoon, movements slow and groggy as he spoons a bit of soup into his mouth, nodding at the taste. 

But because he only has his left hand free, he fumbles a bit and struggles to cut the pieces of kimchi, unable to use chopsticks in his left. You sigh and grab them from him, splitting the cabbage with the chopsticks in your hand and placing it on his spoon. “Here,” you mutter. 

Yoongi watches you carefully, eyes lifting toward you in an odd expression before he eats the kimchi, spooning soup and rice into his mouth after. 

“You don’t have to...” He mutters, as you carefully choose side dishes to place onto his spoon. 

You just give him a blank look. “You can barely even take care of the clothes you wear, how am I supposed to trust that you can even take care of that arm? Don’t you know how important it is for a surgeon to take care of his limbs?” 

He stops, the spoon halfway between his bowl and mouth. “So...this is just because you’re the chief now, right? Because you need to take care of your surgeons?” 

Your eyes widen, dropping the piece of fish you’d picked up. You blink, catching yourself and grabbing the protein and putting it on his spoon. “Yes,” You whisper, focusing on watching the way his spoon moves slowly towards his mouth. “Yeah, I guess.” 

He nods, humming and the both of you fall into a comfortable silence. 

“Oh,” you comment, “also, I saw on your charts that you had a fracture in your finger not too long ago...” You trail off, and Yoongi looks up at you with a grimace. 

“Yeah,” he says, voice a bit hoarse. “Why?” 

You blink, uncomfortably shifting. “Um, what happened?” 

He sets down his spoon, washing down his food with a swig of water. Clearing his throat, he just sloshes the water around in his cup as he answers you. “I-I slammed it in the car door.” 

“Where?” You balk. 

“At the flower shop across the street.” 

“And why were you there? Why in such a rush? You’re usually not that clumsy.” You comment, frowning.

He shrugs, “I was getting you flowers.” 

Oh. 

“Oh,” you clear your throat, blinking a bit. “Um, and then you were in a rush?” 

He picks up the spoon again and begins eating. “Yeah, but by the time I got a cast for it, I had another surgery so I couldn’t go home that day. Flowers were dead since they were stuck in my car all day.” 

You fall into silence as he continues chewing. 

He frowns and frets at certain side dishes but you give him a glare that silences him and he finishes the entire thing with a burp and a content sigh. It was the first time you’d seen him finish any kind of meal in a long time. No wonder his weight was at such an all time low. He hadn’t even been taking care of his meals. 

The nurse enters again to pick up the meal. Yoongi calls out to her, “God, I feel gross. Can I wash up now?” 

“Oh!” she says, right before she leaves, “You can take baths now. Would you like for us to send a nurse later?” She turns to you with a smile. 

“Ye---” “No,” you butt in, cutting him off and smilling at the nurse. “I can do it for him, it’s fine.” 

She smiles and takes her leave, leaving Yoongi with a sour look on his face. “She could’ve just done it.” He mutters, leaning back into his pillows. 

You glare at him, stuffing your hands in your pockets and surveying the restroom that has a nice tub in it. “Well,” you sigh, “No one knows about the divorce yet and it’s not like I haven’t seen anything either. Also Chief Bang was able to cancel a lot of my appointments for this month so I can help take care of you. The Board and the panel understood it when they heard you were caught up in an accident.” 

Yoongi nods, letting you walk over and slowly help him up, onto a wheelchair. You push him right up against the sink, where he can tip his head back far as his collarbone allows, and then you use the hose from the bath to begin rinsing his hair. 

Careful not to get water or soap in his eye, you smooth back the strands on his forehead, running your fingers through his hair and cupping it on the back of his nape to make sure that area got wet too. Grabbing a handful of shampoo, you begin lathering, gently combing through the strands and rubbing at his scalp, massaging and washing with the pads of your fingertips. The only sounds in the restroom is of the running water and the sounds of your lathering, but it’s quite comforting, especially after all the craziness that happened today. 

As you massage, you recall all the events. You got position of chief, you moved out of your office, Yoongi signed the divorce papers finally, and then you’d received the call about the accident. It was a hell of a day, even for a surgeon. 

When his hair is relatively clean, you rinse it out, and then finish off with some conditioner before washing it out completely. Grabbing a towel, you wrap his head as he sits up, and you turn him around to look straight at the mirror as you begin to towel off his hair. 

Yoongi watches you through the mirror, watching through the strands of his wet hair the way you crinkle your brow a bit when you’re concentrated and thinking hard, and the softness of the way you towel off the strands at the base of his neck. 

This...this was a thing for the both of you. Sometimes, when either of you were on shift and the other wasn’t, you’d come home with an exhausted face and sometimes Yoongi would wash your hair for you. Not because you couldn’t, but it was...it was nice. And vice versa. 

He sighs as he watches you, drowned out by the way you click on the hair dryer and begin blasting through his strands, fingers carefully combing through his locks to make sure it dries evenly. When you finish, you smooth back the frizzy pieces, cocking your head at it. 

“Your hair got really long,” you comment, smoothing it down where it reaches past his earlobe. 

“Hm?” he looks at himself, turning his head slightly to see. “Oh, didn’t even notice.” 

You frown, walking around him to also do the same on the other side, frowning when the ends of his hair touch the edge of his jaw. “Jesus, Yoongi,” you breathe, “Do you seriously not have any time to get your hair cut?” 

He wants to shrug but he can’t. So instead he just chuckles a bit. “Yeah, unfortunately.” 

You groan. “Wait here.” You jog out of the ward, leaving Yoongi to stare at himself in the mirror. He sees the signs. His face is much more gaunt and thin, the stubble on his chin growing out and making a shadow on his grey skin. His lips are pale and the hollows of his eyes dark and deep. In addition, there’s quite a nasty cut on his brow bone. It was probably why you were being so careful when you were washing his hair. Yeah. It wasn’t anything more. 

You return, weilding a pair of surgical scissors. 

Yoongi balks. “What the hell?” He tries to turn in his chair but winces at the movement, unable to do much besides just warily watch you evilly snap the scissors open and shut with a smile. 

“I’m gonna cut it.” You announce, wrapping a new towel around his shoulders like a makeshift bib. Leaning down, you grip the sides of his head to make him sit straight, and lean down behind him to start snipping. Yoongi groans, “Don’t tell me you learned the whole hair cutting thing from Seokjin.” 

You laugh behind him, and he feels the warmth of your breath on his nape. “Actually, I did.” 

Yoongi groans. “Are you kidding me? I’ve seen the way he cuts his hair and I’m telling you that idiot has just wasted so much more money trying to get his hair fixed from the way he ruined it, rather than the way he was supposed to cut it.” 

You laugh, moving around him to do his sides. “Chill,” you coax, “Don’t be such a lil baby.” 

He glares at you from the side, as you oddly cheerily snip away at his hairs. The tense and silent, nice, atmosphere is lifted, where it was fake smiles and awkward touches. But now, you touch him with more familiarity, and although your touches are a bit more rough, they’re not any less gentle. Its almost like when you’d first started...dating. 

 But Yoongi pushes that memory to the back of his mind, instead honing in on the sound of the sharp scissors cutting away all of his precious hair. 

When you finish, you clean the rest of his hair and carefully wipe away any stray pieces of hair stuck to his neck and ears. When you look up to see his expression in the mirror, you see that he’s dozing off, eyes drooping heavily and head slowly beginning to fall down. 

You grin to yourself, finishing up cleaning and carefully wheeling him back towards the bed. 

“Yoongi,” you whisper, gently patting his shoulder. “You should sleep on the bed if you’re feeling tired.” 

He just groggily nods at you, too tired to argue back as you help him up, his good arm wrapped around your shoulder as you support him to sit on the hospital bed. You move around the bed to tuck in the sheets around his body once he’s situated, and then take a seat next to him, just observing the way his lashes flutter against his cheeks and his head lolls to the side as his mouth falls slightly open. 

Yoongi’s a really quiet sleeper, you noticed during your years of knowing him. He barely snores or talks in his sleep, and even barely moves. His face always looks like he’s dead, no expression or strength in it. But today, Yoongi looks incredibly tired, not just because of his fatigue, but you can clearly see the signs of aging in the way his smile lines are carved deep into his jaw and the crease between his eyebrows that gets deeper with every frown he puts on. 

His skin is becoming much less glossy and now has a greyer hue to it while the skin under his eyes is becoming almost permanently tinted with a darker bluer shade from all his sleepless nights. 

You reach up, smoothing back a piece of hair that sits on his forehead and then curving down his jaw towards his chin, where you can feel a bit of stubble beginning to grow a bit too prickly. You make a mental note to do that for him tomorrow. 

Sighing, you sit back in your chair, and feel a crinkle in the pocket of your doctor gown. Frowning, you sit up and produce the manila folder, all crinkled up, from the pocket of your gown. The divorce papers. 

Smoothing down the edges and the wrinkles, you remove the inside contents and survey the loopy scrawl of Yoongi’s handwriting in the papers. His address, his phone number, his security information, are all written neatly into the columns and rows, and in the final page, his signature and date are written into the two lines that legally separate you and him from your marriage. 

You sigh as your eyes skim through the contents. 

One packet, 4 papers. 

One more visit to the lawyer’s office and then it would be final: 5 years of marriage, 2 years of dating, and 1 year of knowing eachother as interns and best friends and partners, all down the drain. All neatly filed away. All drawn behind a line. 

You fold the paper back into its tiny little crumpled state and stuff it back into your pocket.

Especially when Yoongi was in the hospital like this, you couldn’t do that to him now. 8 years of knowing eachother, it was the least you could do for him. Not now. 

Leaning forward in your chair, you lean a cheek on the bed mattress, eye-level with his hand that’s wrapped up in a cast from shoulder to elbow. You reach forward and lightly rest your fingertips on top of his, thumb smoothing over the taught skin on his knuckles. 

“Stay fucking still!” You hiss, as Yoongi grunts and glares as you lean forward to slide the blade carefully over his jawline. 

He winces as the razor scrapes a bit harshly against his sensitive skin, but you just glare at him when there’s no blood. “Oh hush, don’t be a little bitch about this, I didn’t even draw blood yet.” 

“Yet?” he frets, slumping as he leans against the sink. “I asked you to help me with only the left side! You didn’t have to go over this side again!” 

“Oh my god, you didn’t even do that side correctly, that’s why I’m doing it again! God, stop talking so I can finish here!” You carefully twist the razor against the ball of his adam’s apple, careful not to apply too much pressure against the uneven bumps and ridges under his skin. 

He just watches you, standing between his legs as he leans against the sink counter, eyes furrowed as you observe where any more hairs are straggling as you shave the rest of his neck. 

“You know,” he mutters, and you hum in response to let him know that you’re listening. “My...my mom asks about you a lot.” 

You pause in your shaving and your eyes flicker up to his hooded ones. His expression is one of confusion, eyes dark and moody as he stares at the opposite bathroom wall. “Oh really,” you comment, humming and resuming sliding the shaver over his chin. 

“Mhm,” his voice vibrates under the skin you’re shaving, and his adam’s apple bobs a bit as he swallows nervously. “She...she wants to see you.” 

You frown and stand up straight, staring up at Yoongi suspisciously. “Seriously? She wants to see me? I’d feel much better hearing that she wants to murder me.” 

He chuckles a bit, itching his nose. “She really likes you, Y/N...” he mumbles, watching your expression. You just shake your head and sigh, squirting a bit more shaving gel onto your finger to smooth it over the crook in his jaw where you missed a few hairs. 

“You know she drove me crazy...” you mutter, finishing the spot. “I seriously drove myself crazy trying to cater to her.” 

He clears his throat. “I know you’ve been doing a lot but...please go see her. She’s...she’s not doing well. My dad has been really absent lately and our divorce has gotten her into a weird mood and she keeps asking for you, saying some stuff how there’s no one in her life who listened to her as well as you did...and...” he trails off, eyes flickering up to yours in desperate but silent asks. 

You sigh, running the razor under water and cleaning up. “I...I don’t know Yoongi. I haven’t seen her since we told her about the divorce. I really don’t think she’d want to see the woman who dumped her precious son.” 

He trails after you into the room, settling down on the bed while you perch on the chair next to it. “I know, which was why I was careful about bringing it up to you. Just...” he breathes in through his nose. “Please. I...I lost a lot of things recently, please don’t let me lose her too. This is the best that I can do. She won’t talk to me.” 

You sigh, placing his meal on his bed tray. “Fine, but you owe me.” 

He smiles, gummy teeth appearing as he looks up at you appreciatively. “What do you want?” 

You laugh, helping him open the sealed yogurt. “I want the rights to the car you bought me. And the tapestry we bought in Egypt.” 

He grins, “Deal. Now feed me this yogurt.” 

“He’s gonna need two more surgeries,” Dr. Moon tells you, scanning through the charts. “One more to fix that horrible collarbone, and another to make sure that all the glass shards are out. Only the first one will require any heavy anesthesia. Just keep him hydrated and don’t let him eat anymore solids and we’ll be fine.” 

You nod, thanking him as he leaves, and you watch as Yoongi’s already-grumpy expression descends into absolute glowering. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He hisses, curling his lip in disgust. “No more solids? Do they fucking want to kill me?” 

You roll your eyes, crossing your legs as you review some documents and paperwork from Chief Bang. “Shut up,” you groan, “they only let you eat recently because you were so dehydrated they were scared to extend the operation. This is your fault. Since when did you stop taking care of yourself, geez. Yoongi, you’re literally almost ten pounds lighter than when I first met you. Don’t they say that thirtys bring on the most weight? What happened to you?” 

He sighs, slumping back in his pillows. “I don’t know. It was just...busy. I didn’t have time to even pee, with all those surgeries, so I guess I just stopped remembering to eat and drink too.” 

You roll your eyes again, tsking at him. “Stupid. Here, drink this.” You hand him a cup of water and he takes it gratefully, gulping it down as he watches you pour over the paperwork. “What’s that?” 

You hum, nibbling on your pen. “Some paperwork about the new back-up energy generator. We’re changing it on Friday to make sure that even in blackouts, the surgery ward is still supplied with enough energy. I have to sign off on it, and it’s my first important thing as the new chief.” You look up at him giddly, “Wanna see?” 

He nods, and you hand over the folder, and he scrunitizes the tiny print with a wrinkled brow. “God,” he hisses, handing it back to you. “This is what Chief is being about? Paperwork and having to read fine print? I hate that stuff.” 

You giggle, “Well, that’s why I have a law minor and you don’t. This stuff to me is better than any movie or drama. I love it.” 

You don’t see, because your eyes are back to scouring the page for any minute details that might end up becoming an issue later on, but Yoongi watches you warmly, eyes drooping eventually until he lapses into a deep sleep. 

You’re disturbed moments later when your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pick up, surprised to see it’s your mother in law. Or....ex-mother in law. 

“Hello?” You pick up, setting the paperwork down to exit Yoongi’s ward. “Mother, it’s...been a while.” 

“Yes, Y/N, it has...” she trails off, her voice sounding a bit less harsh and more frail than the last time you remembered it. 

“Can...can I help you with something, mother?” You ask carefully, leaning against the wall. She’s silent for a moment before chuckling a bit. “I...I don’t even know why I called you, dear.” She sighs, “I guess I have no one else to talk to, besides you.” 

You frown. “What do you mean? You have so many friends who love to listen to you.” 

She sighs, clucking her tongue. “I mean, I do!” She corrects, too prideful to admit the reality. “But...but sometimes there are things that I just need to talk to you about.” 

“Anything on your mind, mother? I can listen to you,” you offer, and she begins talking. 

“I-I...I realize now when I’m in and out of Yoongi’s ward to take care of him, that I barely got to know him. I need your help, he doesn’t really have much to say to him and same with me, I...I don’t even know my son anymore.” 

You hum, not knowing what to say. She asks, “What kind of food does he like?” 

You frown, “Wh-what food?” 

She sighs, “Yes, what food does he like to eat? I packed him some healthy ox-tail soup the other day but he only took a few bites out of it and left the rest. I don’t even know what he wants anymore.” 

You sigh, picking at your nails. “Yoongi doesn’t like soups that much, he prefers spicy and salty and savory things. Which is bad, I know,” you chuckle when she makes a sound of disgust, “But I balance out that unhealthy obsession of his by forcing him to eat his salad first before he gets to the meal. He also doesn’t really like anything that’s too hot. Prefers mildly warmed.” 

“Oh also,” you add with a smile, “Yoongi is on bed rest for the rest of the week because he has surgery soon. So don’t worry about bringing him food for the next few days, mother, because he’s also on a no-solids diet, and I’ve been taking a few shifts here and there to make sure he’s getting his nutrients and drinking his juice.” 

“Oh, Y/N...” she says, her voice trembling a bit. “I...I just wanted to say thank you.” 

“Oh, mother, you don’t have to--”

“No, Y/N. I do. After Yoongi’s father left the house last week, it’s been really hard and I got some time to think about how I treated those around me. And I realized that the only person who really put up completely with the worst of me was you. And still, here you are, assuring me that you’ll take care of my son and telling me about his preferences...I-I have nothing to say as your mother in law, and I’m just so, so sad that you two are parting ways and I--”

“Mother,” you cut her off before she goes into another tirade about your divorce. “It’s...it’s fine, really. Yoongi and I, we have so much history together that even though our marriage might not have worked, I still appreciate and love and support him very much. And I know he does the same. You don’t owe me anything for this, I chose this.” 

She agrees and continues to thank you, and you both end the call with closure, and you lean back against the wall, sighing as the tiredness of the day completely washes over you. You’re about to call it a day and go inside to gather your things, when Jungkook shows up, moments after the call. 

“Noona,” he calls out, walking up to you with a small smile, “Wanna go get drinks with me?” 

You sigh, smiling up at him. “Why?” 

He shrugs, scuffing at his feet. “Heard you on the phone with Mrs. Min, and assumed you’d need to just relax after that.” 

You smile, feeling content. “No...it was...it was a good talk. It wasn’t tiring at all.” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, “But I’m still down for a drink right about now though. Yoongi’s asleep.” You finish, and smile as you check your watch. 

Jungkook grins, and leads you to the bar across the street, taking a seat on the bar and waving at the familiar face bartending the counter. Shownu hands you both your regular drinks, and you sigh as you wash down the familiar taste of the margarita down. 

“So,” Jungkook begins, stirring his whiskey. “How’s it been?” 

You sigh, drumming your fingers against the countertop. “Hard. It’s been a while since I’ve had to do so many administration stuff, but hopefully it’s just temporary while I figure out how to get settled the fastest way possible.” 

He raises his brows. “That’s it?” 

Frowning, you take another sip. “What?” 

Avoiding your eye contact, he swirls the ice cube in his glass around, watching the dark liquid slosh around it absentmindedly. “I mean,” he tries, carefully choosing his words, “with Yoongi hyung being admitted and everything...” 

“Oh..” you say, having really nothing else to add to what he was implying. “It’s...different.” 

“Good different?” 

“Just...different.” You hesitate, blinking up at him. “I don’t know. It’s just weird...honestly it feels like nothing changed, like we’re married again and we didn’t get a divorce or anything but I know I shouldn’t be thinking like that.” 

“Why not?” Jungkook asks, finishing his drink and waving down another one. “You don’t still have feelings for him or anything do you?” 

You stare down at the pale yellow of the new cocktail that Shownu has given you, fingers stopping playing with the tiny mint leaf placed on the top. Shaking your head, you squeeze your eyes shut for a second to erase the momentary odd feeling. “No,” you say a little too loudly, “I’m the one who brought the divorce up. It wouldn’t be fair for me to feel that way. I don’t have that right.” 

Jungkook chuckles a bit into his drink, doe eyes crinkling at you. You frown, “What’you laughing about?” 

He grins, “Noona, don’t you remember what you told me when I was all scared about my own relationship? You told me that when two people are in love, they lose all their rights, because they give them up. For each other. You’re the one who said that when you told me to go get her.” 

You frown, “That was in a differen--” 

“No, noona,” he cuts you off, patting your shoulder. “Literally everyone in this damn hospital can see that you and Yoongi hyung still have feelings for each other. There...there were just a few bumps in the road, that’s all. I really, truly, believe that you and him can figure this out. You guys are the strongest people I know.” He says, eyes sparkling like the way they used to as an intern, a little measly punk who was placed under your own residency. 

“Just go tell him,” he whispers. 

“How do you even know he still has feelings for me?” You whisper, eyes blurring a bit at the tears that threaten to spill over. “He agreed to the divorce.”

“Noona,” he murmurs, “I...I just heard this in passing but the Board was gonna give Chief to Yoongi hyung only, just because he’s a guy and the man of the family and all that. But Yoongi hyung never wanted that. He knew you wanted that, more than anything. So when you brought the divorce up, he accepted it. All he wanted was for you to be happy, don’t you see? Him letting you go was the best way he knew at the moment to love you.” 

That night, later when you get back to the hospital, the hallways are quiet and still, save for the occasional family visit or the bustle of nurse’s feet down the hallway. You slowly make your way down the hall, strolling and tucking your cold hands in the pockets of your coat as you survey the brightly lit walls of the hospital you were practically born and raised in. 

In these halls was the place you first met Yoongi, where you fell in love with Yoongi, where you worked after marrying Yoongi, and where you had and lost your first child with Yoongi. Every inch of the hospital was a daily reminder of how much you had gone through together. 

But as you take one foot in front of the other, you really ponder about what exactly went wrong. It...was so hard to try and remember now. 

It was a culmination of things: the miscarriage, the forgotten anniversary, the busy schedules, the stress of his mother in law, and the mundane-ness of your marriage. They all happened and bombarded your lives so fast and so quickly and painfully that at one point, you couldn’t take it anymore. 

But now, as you walk the halls, a bit buzzed and thinking back to what Jungkook said, it’s odd that you thought you couldn’t handle it. 

You weren’t smart. Naturally, like the others. Throughout college and medical school, while others read a chapter once and understood it, you had to go home and re-read it three times, make flashcards, take notes, practice problems, and watch videos online to learn the same thing. You had to work your ass off to get where you were, and to be honest, your body and your psyche had seen worse during those years. 

You suffered through depression and anxiety as you watched your friends excel at things you fell behind on. You poured yourself into studying so much that it stressed you out and you became overweight, and then in an effort to lose the weight suffered from an eating disorder. You barely could handle relationships at all with guys because you were so emotionally unavailable and distracted. It was a miracle you still had friends who stuck with you and your messes throughout med school. 

You’d done it all. All by yourself. 

And Yoongi. He was such a breath of fresh air. He was someone who was smart, who was naturally good. But he also worked hard, and he never failed to encourage you throughout your internship together, and even in your relationship, always praised your for your talents, not your flaws. He made it easier. He explained things to you that you would have never understood. He tutored you on procedures on the exchange of you demonstrating your best stitches that ultimately caught the attention of the higher surgeons. He took care of you, even if it didn’t seem like it, and always put you first. 

So why had you, in the heat of the moment and the culmination of all the bad things that had gone in your life, given up so quickly on Yoongi? 

Maybe it was the way that your finally perfect life was crumbling to an end. Maybe it was the way that Yoongi agreed too quickly, not really trying too hard to convince you otherwise. Maybe it was the way that for once in your life, you felt accomplished when you saw the positive pregnancy test and had something other than Yoongi and work in your life to live for. And then you lost it. 

You don’t know. 

Finally rounding the corner to Yoongi’s ward, you stare up at the paper on the wall inscribed with Yoongi’s name and peer through the small door, watching Yoongi perched up on the bed, signing documents and probably going over his patient records with a keen eye. Turning against the wall beside the door, you lean against it and slide down, crouching down and sitting on the cold glossy floors. 

Putting your hand into your pocket, you produce the ring that he gave you and turn it over in your hands. It’s a gorgeous damn ring. 

“Oh my god, Yoongi, how much did you even pay for this?” You ask him, hand stretched out wide in front of the both of you as you nestle into his naked chest. He’d asked you to marry him with it, and you’d only ever noticed how heavy it was on your finger until now, after a couple hours of heavy love-making. 

He rolls his eyes. “Too damn much if you ask me,” he grumbles, and you giggle against his neck. 

“I love it,” you croon, arm sliding around his waist and nestling into his warmth, his smell. Everything is Yoongi right now. The bedsheets surrounding you smell like him, the dark and monochrome furniture and the cluttered books on the bookshelves against the farthest wall so indicative of Yoongi’s style. The moon shines through the crack between the blinds, dim enough not to illuminate everything, but bright enough on his 7th floor apartment to show you the beautiful lines of his face. 

The slope of his eyes downward that soften his always tired features. The flutter of his long eyelashes against his pale cheeks. The way his lips, although always turned down in a frown, curve slightly upwards at the ends, as if mischievously scheming a prank or a joke, and the pout of his lower lip that made him so much cuter. 

The way his fingers, long and knobby, wrapped around your shoulders and stroked the soft skin of your shoulder. His legs tangled within yours and skin slightly damp but warm from the sex earlier. The way the beautiful diamond ring sits perfectly fitted on your fourth finger, slotted around your hand as if to declare to the world that you’re his and only his. 

You once were his, you think to yourself as you slide the platinum onto your finger. It still fits perfectly, slotting around that odd spot where your ring had sat for 5 years, the permanent dent in your skin fading, but still present enough for the ring to nestle in exactly. You twirl it around your finger, relief flooding you at the old habit. 

It’s so stupid, you think to yourself, so stupid how Yoongi made all those decisions by himself. It was absolutely, annoyingly, dumb how he decided by himself that accepting your divorce was the best thing he could do. You hated how he was always like that. Never taking a step in front of you, but always a step behind, letting you go first and letting you lead and never getting in your way. You hated it, yet it was the single thing that made you fall in love with him. He respected you and honored you and encouraged you like no other. 

Suddenly, the ward door slides open, and Yoongi steps out, arm still in his sling and tired eyes blinking down at you. 

He doesn’t look too surprised, but when he catches the glimmer of tears in your eye, he just silently crouches down, and with his good arm, pulls you in for a hug. 

The dam breaks, and you begin sobbing, the regrets and overload of emotions and feelings and memories washing over you in a tsunami as you bury your face into his neck. He just silently holds you close, hand resting on your shaking shoulders as you blubber meaningless things into his skin. 

“I--I’m so stupid,” you sob, eyes squeezing shut. 

“So stupid, so dumb, everything is so stupid,” you cry, and Yoongi just hums as he continues holding you close. “I just can’t--” 

“Can’t what?” he murmurs. 

“I can’t just forget, and just leave everything behind. I can’t Yoongi,” you wail, and he just cooes and strokes your hair. “It’s just all so hard and I thought I was doing it for us, for you.” 

“But I was so selfish and dumb and arrogant to think I could do it by myself, I’m so sorry,” you cry, hiccuping and blubbering other meaningless things. 

But Yoongi just holds you tighter, sitting with you on the cold floor in just his hospital pajamas, letting you blubber all over his shoulder as he whispers back, “I don’t care. It’s okay,” He shushes you, blinking down at you gently, “It’s really okay. I know, I’m sorry too, shhh, it’s okay.” 

You continue to cry, all the pent-up frustrations of the last couple of months pouring out in waves and out in front of Yoongi. All your regrets, all the memories, all the things you went through alone. All the insecurities, all the pain and fear. All of you. You cried and vented and apologized until everything inside of you was out. 

You were naked and vulnerable, cards all on the table. 

You were literally almost like his patient, open and really up to his call. You’d cut yourself open, spilled everything out in front of him, and now it was his turn. 

He just holds you tight, never letting you detach from him. 

His voice is as clear as the day he asked you to marry him. 

“I love you.” 

You blink up at him through bleary eyes, confusedly. You were expecting him to say it was okay, to say either that he did or didn’t accept your apologies, or to give you an explanation or something. 

“I love you so much, Y/N.” 

He says again, pulling you even closer and burying his nose in your hair. 

“I would never, ever, try to hurt you on purpose.” 

His hand strokes your arm, like the night he asked you to marry him. Everything smells and feels like Yoongi, here in his arms. It’s like home. 

“And I’m the one who should be sorry. I hurt you, and I promised the day we got married that I would never hurt you. I love you so much, I love you Y/N. Everything’s okay. We can get through this, I’m sure of it. I love you so much,” he says, and the shakiness of his voice at the end tells you that maybe he too, is crying too. 

But he won’t let you pull away to look at him, so you just curl your arms around his waist, holding as tight as you can, not letting go. 

You were never gonna let go again. 

“Chief Bang,” you announce, walking into his office with purpose. It’s actually your old office, he’d moved in as soon as you’d moved into his. 

“God, Y/N,” he groans, a hand on his chest. “Please don’t scare an old man like that. Who knows what could’ve happened.” 

“Oh, hush,” you grin, strolling in and taking the seat across from him, “I’ve seen your diagnostic, you’re in almost perfect condition.” 

He rolls his eyes at you. “What brings you here?” 

You drop the file on his desk. “What you asked for.” 

He eyes you weirdly as he takes the manila folder, wrinkled all around the edges as he smooths it out and produces the stapled packet inside. As he flips the first cover page and sees the official lettering of the second, his eyes widen and he looks up at you with a start. “Your divorce papers?” 

You nod, smiling. 

His gaze softens, “Oh, Y/N...I’m so sorry. I...I really had hope for the both of you.” 

You blink, “Wait what?” 

He sighs, flipping through the rest and lying it down on his desk. “I know I asked you to reconsider, but I trust that you guys made the right decision.” 

You frown, “Wait, Chief, you don’t understand.” 

He continues, shaking his head. “Gosh, I’m so sorry to have you put you both in that position...I should have never brought up the gender discrimination for chief in the first place...It was all my fault I---” 

He’s cut off by you leaning forward and taking the packet in your hands and ripping it cleanly across the middle. His eyes widen, “Y/N--”

“Chief,” you declare, smiling at him. “I took your advice. We’re not separating. Actually, we’re quitting.” 

He balks at you, “Excuse me?” 

“Okay that was actually a joke, that last part,” you giggle, and he sighs, collapsing into his chair. “But on a serious note, we’re not giving up. We...we talked about it and it was just a lot of miscommunication. We want to try again. But...but before you retire, we wanted to say that we can’t continue this lifestyle if we want to make any changes to our marriage. I decided last week when we talked that I want to take the transition slowly, and I want to do it with Yoongi.”

“Okay....” Chief Bang murmurs, watching you warily. “And?” 

You straighten up. “We want equal surgeries. No more stupid meetings and events. I’ll hire someone who actually likes to do that.” 

“Mhm...” He muses, eyes narrowing in concentration. “Keep going.” 

“And--” “Chief Bang!” His office door swings open again, interrupting your list. The both of you turn to look at who it is, and his frazzled secretary apologizes profusely. 

“I-I’m so sorry, Chief but Mr. Jang, he--” 

“Shihyuck!” The elder man walks in proudly, cutting off the secretary and sauntering in. “What you up to ol’ man? Ah, Y/N!” He grins, sleazily walking up to you and clapping you on your shoulder. “What brings you here too?” 

You grin fakely up at him, “Good morning Mr. Jang.” 

Chief Bang crosses his arms. “What brings you here, Jang? Don’t you have a Board of Trustees to be running?” 

The other man grins, perching on the desk rudely. “Actually, good thing you’re here, Y/N, because I’m here to tell Chief Bang something. We want to liquidate the free clinic. It’s just too much money, and think about how much money we would make if we charged per visit and--” 

“No.” You state, firmly meeting his confused gaze with your steely one. Chief Bang’s head turns to you in surprise. 

“E-excuse me?” Jang narrows his eyes at you. “What did you just say, missy?” 

You stand, standing eye to eye with the man in your heels. Thank god the Chief job required you to have a few killer heels in your closet cause damn, you felt powerful. 

“No,” You repeat, facing him. “We are not liquidating the free clinic. Some doctors have worked their blood sweat and tears off for that service, and we are not going to stand by and let you liquidate for your own greed.” 

Jang sputters, “Wha- do you even hear yourself talking right now? As a woman--” 

“As a woman,” you sneer, “you should know that I’m very close with Mrs. Jang, and I’ve been hearing some things about you and your aesthetician. Do you want me to invite her out to lunch tomorrow?” 

He’s silenced immediately, mouth opening and closing like an idiot. You smirk, “I thought so.” 

“Chief Bang, let me finish with the other requirements I was saying before Mr. Jang barged in and interrupted our conversation.” You state, sitting down and crossing your legs. 

“One. I want Yoongi and I to share the Chief position. Two. No more stupid parties and meetings and meet and greets. I’ll hire someone to fill in. Three. I want you to move Jooyoung into a different surgery department. That girl keeps trying to flirt with my husband and I don’t like that.” You cross your arms. 

Chief Bang finally speaks. “Is that all?” 

You hum, mulling it over. “Yes.” 

He nods, “Its fair.” 

Jang sputters, “F-fair?! What are we going to do with two people as chief? That’s never even happened before!” 

You turn, eyeing him down with a cold stare. 

“Mr. Jang,” you ask, slowly facing him. “You’re the president of the Board of Trustees, correct?” 

He nods, frowning. “Yes, why?” He retorts rudely. 

You take a menacing step toward him as you speak. “Well, as the president of a hospital board of trustees, you must know that without the doctors, a hospital will absolutely disintegrate. Wouldn’t it?” 

“A-are you threatening me?” He rages, eyes blazing. 

You shrug, innocently looking at your nails as you step towards him. “Well, then you must also be aware that as the face of this hospital, you can’t get rid of me. That would be a total horrible public PR mess for you and hospital. I wonder,” you muse, “what the rest of your board of trustees would think if you tried to get rid of me, or if I said that I quit because you were being difficult.” 

You laugh a bit, “Think about that! The face plastered all over the building and over TV and bus ads that you thought would bring you more revenue, quitting, and stating on television that the board of trustees she worked for were money-hungry hyenas, all lead by a certain president who couldn’t even keep his promise to his wife? Wow, I wonder what would happen.” You smile sweetly at him, twirling a piece of hair around your finger. 

“Think about it a little!” You sing-song, as you pivot on your heel and move to walk out the door. 

You stop halfway, eyes falling into the figure leaning on the doorframe, grinning gummily at you. Smile widening, you walk up to him, arms sliding around his waist. 

“Hi,” you blush, and he grins down at you. 

“You’re so sexy when you take lead like that,” he murmurs, lips leaning towards yours, and you let him kiss you a tiny bit before you break away and give a last meaningful glance towards the red-faced Mr. Jang and the satisfied Chief, and give a tiny bow to the elders before exiting with your husband. 

As soon as the door shuts behind you, you slump a little, caving into his embrace. 

“God,” you breathe out, “I thought I was going to die of fear. I seriously hate everyone from the board. They scare the shit out of me.”

Yoongi chuckles, “I’m pretty sure you just scared the shit of him. So you’re good.” 

You smile, “Really?” 

“Yeah.” He grins down at you, tucking you under his arm. 

“How are you feeling,” you murmur as the both of you quietly make it down towards your office. 

He shrugs his arm a bit to show you. “Feelin’ good as new. I can go home by tonight.” 

You hug his waist a bit closer. “Good,” you murmur into his shirt. “It’s uncomfortable sleeping on your hospital bed. I wanna go home.” 

“Me too babe,” he whispers, hand stroking your cheek and resting on your shoulder. When his arm grazes your neck your cheeks heat up in a hot blush, and you blink up at him through your eyelashes. 

He recognizes the look right away. Glancing around, he chastises you, but with a shit-eaitng grin. “Y/N,” he hisses, “We can’t.” 

You pout, “Why not? No one even comes into your hospital room anymore anyway. Plus, I have a new office!” 

“Did you forget that’s now gonna be our office?” He hisses, eyes rolling. 

You huff, “C’mon! Just once, I don’t understand why you won’t just fuck me! We’re not even getting a divorce anymore anyway!” 

“Shhh!” He hushes you, pushing you into the office, and locking the door behind him. “Jeez, just yell it out for the entire hospital to hear, huh?” 

He takes off his coat and settles into your couch. “Why not? Dont you want me?” You whine, stomping your feet petulantly. 

He sighs, eyeing you levelly. “Trust me,” he says lowly, “I haven’t fucked you since 6 months ago, and I’m all pent up and annoyed and pissed and I’d give anything to be buried all the way deep inside you but I have my priorities and my first priority is not having our first time together be in an office. I’m going to take my time.” 

You roll your eyes, perching on your desk. “You said it yourself, you’re all pent up and frustrated. Why does it even matter? You’re not gonna last long anyway.” 

His eyes narrow at you, mouth twirking up in a grin. “Is that a challenge?” 

You jut your chin out at him. “Wanna bet? Whoever cums first loses.” 

He rolls his eyes. “I see what you’re doing. Whether or not whoever loses, you win anyway becuase you eventually get sex.” 

You grin, “Exactly. So are you down or not?” 

He stands up, hastily shrugging on his jacket. 

“Call Gina right now,” he commands, eyes darkening at you. “I need to be discharged now.” 

Love.

Neuroscience and Biology like to tell us that it’s a side-effect of a release of a hormone called Dopamine and oxytocin, the same two hormones released when the guy living under the bridge snorts up another line of coke, and when the horribly suffering and screaming woman holds the human she just pushed out of her vagina for the first time in her arms. 

And at first, you’d thought it was just that too. You never really believed in the powerful nature of love, just that it was a warm fuzzy feeling and something that made you happy. 

But now, you’d learned through the hard way that love, it made you do crazy things. It made you lay down your rights, lay down your priorities, and put the other first. It meant forgetting about all the hardships because the good times weighed them out. It meant working together. 

Sure, to be fair, after you and Yoongi had resolved your issues and decided to cancel the divorce, you still had to try. Love didn’t come that easily. If it was easy, then it wouldn’t be true love. 

You and Yoongi had to attend marriage counseling sessions, make an effort to start going on dates again, and had to have long talks in car rides home to resolve and sort out all the miscommunications. You had to give up some of your responsibilities as Chief so that it would be easier to focus on being Yoongi’s wife, and also designate some work for him. Yoongi had to give up a few surgeries so he’d have time to spend with you after work and dedicate some to share the responsibilities of chief. The both of you had to make a sacrifice. 

But it was worth it. True love, without sacrifice, you learned, meant nothing. 

Doctors are also professional line-drawers. 

Not the plastic surgeon, sharpie-a-line-over-your-boob kind of line, but a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental line. And then, there’s the line you draw with those who you love. Whether or not they’re sitting on your table, brain flap open for you to probe, you must draw lines. You can’t operate on someone who’s close or related to you. You can’t offer to waive fees for someone who you once respected back in high school. You can’t be in relationships with your patients, friendly or sexual.

And you definitely shouldn’t be married to your partner, and co-leader of your department, and fellow co-Chief. 

But before you were a doctor, before you were a chief, and before being anyone else, you were you. Yoongi’s wife. 

And you were going to prioritize it. You were going to prioritize you, your time, your mental and physical health, and your emotional health, which meant prioritizing your relationship with Yoongi. He was your everything. 

So you realize, that sometimes breaking the rules is allowed. Sometimes, cutting yourself open and spilling out your emotions and true feelings as a doctor is okay, when its to the one who you know and trust will still love you after seeing how ugly things can be. And sometimes, drawing lines around you and someone else, instead of between you and them, is okay. 

Because you trusted that even though life cut you open, Yoongi was going to be there right along you, to help you stitch it all back up. 

fin. 

After finishing, please read my story talk here! Thank you for reading! :) 

also, thank you for all the support. I’m pretty sure I’m going to write one more tiny epilogue so that this couple gets their closure!

[afleetingimpressixn]

“I can feel it all wash over me. The heat. The force. The radiation…the fear. It’s the end of the world - all over again.“

An updated bio post for my fallout 4 sole survivor, Abraham. 

Alias: Bullseye

Alliance: the Railroad

Sexuality: Bisexual

Height: 6′1″

Age: 210+ years ( physically, in his late thirties )

Backstory:

James Ross was not a remarkable man. His parents were Irish immigrants, and his family had a history of working with their hands. James himself was a mechanic, and worked with both robotics and automobiles.

He married a woman named Adrianne Hayes, a brash defense attorney who hailed from a strict Jewish household. Their marriage was largely impulsive, and Abraham was born not soon after.

Adrianne’s work occupied most of her time, so Abraham spent most of his youth in his father’s shop. He was kept in the waiting room with his toys and coloring books until he was old enough to actually work, and his father started teaching him the trade the moment Abraham was able to hold a wrench.

Abraham had always been better with machinery than he was with schoolwork, but he was by no means unintelligent. He was extremely skilled, but struggled to focus in actual class, and whatever attempts his teachers made at getting him diagnosed with ADHD were either ignored or rejected by his father.

After graduating high school, Abraham spent half a term in college before dropping out and enlisting in the military. That was where his true talents were discovered - not only was he good with machines, but he was good with a gun, and excelled both in his training and on the field.

During the short period of time he spent at school was when he met Laura. Like Abraham, she came from a family of immigrants, this time having come over from South America and the Caribbean. She was a nursing student, and almost scarily intelligent. The two of them dated on and off during Abraham’s detours, before finally getting married after Laura graduated.

Their relationship was not exactly stable, especially not in its earlier stages. They were young, and Abraham’s impulsiveness led to several affairs with other servicemen and women, regardless of whether he and Laura were actually together or not. As he matured, and the Sino-American war escalated, Abraham’s affairs were replaced with drug usage. At one point, Abraham was injured and bedridden for weeks, until a military physician offered him what he described as a performance enhancer. He promised that the substance would not only speed up Abraham’s recovery, but make him a better soldier afterwards, and was safer than any steroid on the market.

It was at least partially true. Abraham recovered, and when he returned to his service, he found that he was much stronger and resilient than he had been before. He was also a lot more reckless, willing to take larger risks for whatever goal needed to be met. There were several occasions where he should have died because of this, but managed to walk away barely scathed.

Abraham didn’t discover his addiction until he no longer had access to his drug. This was right after his wedding, before what was supposed to be his honeymoon. Withdrawal was a disastrous and extremely painful experience, and dragged on for days until someone from the military finally came to resolve the situation.

Abraham retired when he found out that Laura was pregnant, but still sought after his drug, mainly via contacts given to him by the military and dealers on the street. Those dealers called it Psycho, because of the violent, reckless behavior it often caused, and the severity of its addiction.

Shaun was the one good thing during this part of Abraham’s life, but he was only a few months old when the bombs fell. It appeared that they were lucky enough to have been allowed into a Vault - that is, until they were unwittingly put into cryostasis for hundreds of years. Abraham woke up only once during this time, only to watch helplessly as his infant son was stolen and his wife was murdered. Abraham was returned to unconsciousness, but did not forget the murderer’s face.

When Abraham woke up for good, it was to an unfamiliar, dead world. He barely gave himself the time to adjust to this place, immediately starting the search for his son. The handful of settlers he encountered pointed him towards Diamond City, and the journey there only uncovered more horrors. Abraham dealt with them as they came. Violence was no longer something that fazed him.

Diamond City was where Abraham first learned about the Institute, and the identity of his wife’s murderer. Kellogg was a ruthless mercenary, and had likely stolen Shaun and brought him back to the people he worked for. Abraham was instructed to steal his memories - not only would they tell him more about what happened to Shaun, but they had the potential to tell them more about the mysterious Institute that loomed over the Commonwealth.

Abraham was successful, and, using Kellogg’s memories, was able to confirm that the Institute had indeed taken Shaun. His hunt continued, and took him to the Railroad.

Abraham had learned about synths during his journey - one had even helped him track down Kellogg. They were feared, but that fear came from uncertainty. Abraham’s experiences with them had been positive. He didn’t see why he shouldn’t help to change how synths existed - in both the Commonwealth and in the Institute.

Eventually, Abraham made it to the Institute itself. Finally, he found Shaun.

However, more time had passed than he’d thought. Not only was Shaun in his sixties, but he was leader of the Institute. Now, Abraham was torn between two choices - initiating a synth uprising, and the destruction of the Institute, or finally being with his son.

But Shaun was dying. Abraham wondered whether he could wait for nature to take its course, if he could make things better when he inherited Shaun’s position as head of the Institute, but he knew that wasn’t possible. These people did not trust him. Abraham had to act while he still had power in this place.

In the end, he chose selflessness. The synth uprising was set into action. Dozens of synths escaped to freedom, and Abraham left his son to be destroyed along with his life’s work.

The aftermath was devastating in a way that Abraham could not begin to comprehend. He had expected it to be painful, tried to postpone it as much as possible. Inevitably, the world could not wait for him any longer. He had to act.

Nothing could have prepared him for this feeling. The resulting depression he sank into felt like an inescapable hole. Abraham spent weeks like that - either high out of his mind, or with the weight of his actions turning him numb.

It was something he heard on the radio that broke him out of that state. A thank you - enough to remind him what he had done all of this to achieve. People felt safe, because of him. That, alone, made everything worth it.

When Abraham finally got out of bed, it was to continue that work. There were still remnants of the Institute out there, in the Commonwealth. Synths still needed protection - not just from the Institute’s leftovers, but from frightened citizens.

His work is far from finished.

[blooblooded]

Outline Book One

OK this is as good as it’s going to get for now, Rosaline plot needs work

Act One:

1) Kassidy comes home after a long night at work (she is a 3rd shift nurse-- graduated one year ago), just as everyone else is waking up. She is exhausted and talks to Esther and Ayda. Her boss won’t move her to day shift, she has a lot of problems with him. Due to her anger, she broke into his office that night and took something from him-- a BOOK that she had been strangely drawn to. Casey has been out all night and Ayda is worried about her-- make reference to how Casey is wrapped up in working for their dad. Esther is thinking about calling out of work at her shitty job at one of Eden’s recycling centers because she feels ‘sick’. Rosie left early because she is making extra money participating in medical research. They’ve moved in together in this 4 bedroom house (owned by one of West’s private housing companies) fairly recently, mostly because of money reasons, but Casey and Ayda haven’t really hung out with the others since high school so it’s hard to get used to and there’s still some awkwardness. They’ve all been through a lot. Ayda is talking to Marty and Marty acts weird/guilty around Kassidy. There’s always been something that follows Esther but Kassidy can’t see it-- she knows Ayda can. In a sudden flash, Kassidy sees the monster for a second and it lashes out at her. Frightened by this, Kassidy retreats to her room and then, takes the BOOK from her bag and opens it.

2) Smiles and his team wake up and get ready for their shift. He is feeling irritated by them because they are all acting up. They were late for breakfast because Nickels and Johnny were arguing, so none of them got to eat. Their shift that day is in the Sewers, they’re supposed to hunt down and destroy some of the slime creatures that have made their home down there. This is unpleasant. The sewers are disgusting but essential to Eden’s self sustaining infrastructure, filled with rats and monsters. The squad annihilates a few of them, so we get to see them use their abilities and also get some exposition about slime creatures in Eden. The sewers don’t have cameras so Smiles and the gang spend time goofing off. They appear to all simultaneously love and hate each other, lots of weird tension and dynamics. Recruitment is in a few weeks, with new kids coming in to go through the Gauntlet, and Smiles jokes/threatens to get rid of Nickels and Johnny and replace them with A Class agents. Rats start swarming, running, which freaks everyone out.

3) Kassidy flips through the BOOK on her day off. It’s making more and more sense to her, she is really drawn to it. Casey barges into her room and Kassidy shoves the BOOK away. Casey annoys her, there is tension, she wants to hang out but it seems like she is just bored and there’s nobody else around. Casey won’t shut up. Kassidy looks at her bills on her phone and feels resentment towards Casey for having money. Her mind and body are tired from work. Casey says that Esther is acting crazy, that the ‘Thing’ they can’t see won’t leave her alone. Everyone in Eden is vaguely aware of things beyond most people’s comprehension. Casey shows her an ad she put on the internet for someone who can get rid of the thing, treats it like a big joke. Kassidy takes this more seriously because she remembers what happened when Esther’s monster attacked a bully named Ben who was picking on them in middle school. Suddenly she feels like she is in danger. Casey wants to go get lunch together but Kassidy tells her no, she is tired and just wants to read.

4) Kassidy is at work a week later and her boss Cihad Tariq shows up out of nowhere, which is unusual for him since he works during the day. Cihad is a real strange guy, he has a weird accent, he’s huge, and he has red eyes. Tariq asks her if she has been in his office, but Kassidy is an excellent liar and denies it. She asks him why he’s at work so late, since she knows he has a kid, but doesn’t get a good answer. This experience shook her, so she tells her supervisor that she is sick and goes home. On the subway ride home, there is a checkpoint (something that is relatively normal, ever since B-Day made security stricter) where 2 secret police members get on the train and scan everyone’s IDs. Kassidy has an anxious reaction to seeing secret police, and her internal thoughts reveal that this is because 6 years ago, her brother, Kip, was dragged away by them and this was the last time she saw him before he was shot for a crime he did not commit. The secret police scan a guy’s ID and he is the guy they were looking for, they drag him away while he is begging them not to hurt him. Nobody on the train does anything. Kassidy’s hands don’t stop shaking until she gets home. It’s 2am, Ayda and Marty, a guy who is from another Colony, are still awake playing video games. They make fun of Kassidy because they’re edgy dicks, but they aren’t malicious or anything. Kassidy goes to her room and opens the BOOK. She has a hangnail that she picks at, drawing blood, and is suddenly filled with power that she has never felt before, the essence of the VOID. For the first time in a long time, she is exhilarated and happy, euphoric, feeling powerful. From Esther’s room, she hears a scream.

5) Smiles and the squad frantically clean their dorm room because they found out that staff is doing room checks. They have some contraband: snacks (JVP’s), a knife that had not been returned to the armory (Nicky’s), some sedatives that Smiles had not taken because he wanted to save them for when he needed them. A member of staff, Saturday, tosses their room and finds everything, the gang begs her to not turn them in but she tells them it’s her job and she has to write them up for something. They get in trouble and have to clean the bathrooms. As they go over there, another agent named Creedo, who is frenemies with Smiles, tells him that someone was just ‘Retired’ aka shot in the head, because they aged out of the program. I’ll call this person Rally, A-Class, telekinetic. Rally was a person Smiles once had a relationship and he thinks about that. While cleaning, Pete is angry at the others because none of the contraband was hers, Smiles argues that there are worse punishments than cleaning. Johnny is lazy and keeps trying to sneak off and doesn’t want to work, which makes Smiles, still upset about having lost someone, lose his temper and hit him. Pete is mad at him for smacking the kid for no good reason, but Smiles tells them that he is the team leader and they have to listen to him. Johnny acts like he deserved it, which irritates Smiles more. Pete comments that the way he is acting and stepping out of line, he won’t be around much longer. Nickels says he is going to be around long after she is gone anyways, indicates that she has been getting nosebleeds. They talk about what they think they’ll be assigned on their next shifts, about some upcoming training, gossip about their enemies, and allude to stupid politics shit that will come up later, like West being a sketchy problem, and the blood magic cult. They finish cleaning and get Saturday to sign off on it and try to squeeze info from her and triangulate. She tells them some of the missions going on. They go to a rec room and Nickels goes to train with another psychic named Wicker. Division among the team. Smiles leaves to get some training bullshit stuff from their dorm. He sees a guy named Coop and beats him up, transferring his aggression, thinking about how he lost another person in his life.

6) When Kassidy used blood magic, Esther’s monster had lashed out at/attacked Esther. Esther had a breakdown and went to the hospital for 48 hours. Kassidy wonders if there was a connection with the blood magic-- a connection between blood magic and the slime creature. She goes to Rosie, since she knows she is religious-- Ayda is religious too (turned to religion after being traumatized by Bomb Day) but Ayda can be kind of a jerk sometimes. Rosie looks kind of fucked up, Kassidy asks her about the medical testing but Rosie tells her she doesn't need to worry about it. She asks Rosie what she knows about the Red Religion, who practice blood magic, and Rosie reacts with disgust. Wanting answers, Kassidy goes to one of their churches. It’s creepy. She meets a woman named Helen who provides exposition on blood magic. Helen shows Kassidy scans of 15 pages that look like the Book, but Kassidy doesn’t reveal she knows about it. Helen says that they popped up on the internet about 3 years ago and nobody really knows where they came from. There are a lot of people who practice the Red Religion/Blood Magic. Most people can’t do it, their bodies can’t withstand it. Kassidy asks Helen how someone would know that they could use this magic. Helen pricks Kassidy’s finger, mingles the blood with her own, and then grows terrified. Kassidy in turn gets scared and flees. She buys food that she really can’t afford and feels nervous, like everyone is staring at her. When she returns home, she finds Casey and Ayda with a one-armed sketchy looking woman who introduces herself as Tabitha Delmont, the person who is going to “solve their little monster problem”.

7) Detective Sashi Mahajan gets a call from Vega Pelenato (chief of staff and notorious snitch/rat) in the very early morning,  informing her that the CEO of Prosperity and notorious corporate gang leader, Richard Prospas, passed away during the night. They speculate on whether this was murder. Sashi goes into work early and encounters her miserable boss, Dana Nguyen. Dana tells Sashi that she’s going to have to make a statement about a recent case of police brutality (that she obviously thinks was not brutal enough). Dana hates talking to the press, because she feels like they harass her. But then, everyone in Eden hates Dana, including Sashi-- Dana does not work hard, is an alcoholic, and there was some nasty business in her past having to do with how she handled a disaster known as ‘B-Day’. Early in her life, Sashi was involved in the police union along with Dana’s dead wife. Sashi notices that Dana’s phone keeps ringing (Silas?) and she ignores it.. She pulls up information on the case and thinks about how much she hates her job. Sashi later speaks to Rome Prospas about the death of his father. Richard Prospas allegedly fainted into the blades of an industrial meat slicer on his factory floor. Rome states that he has an alibi, corroborated by his bodyguard. But Sashi has several reports filed by social services 6 years ago that state that there was violence within the home. She suspects that this is motive for murder, on top of the inheritance and power grab. Sashi is tired of rich people in Eden taking advantage of poor people and believes that everything is very unfair. When she was young, she used to be involved in union stuff, so this is important to her. She just wants to have enough money to start a family. She submits her report detailing the murder, and more importantly, the unabashed levels of power the Prospas Corporation has, just like the obscene power the Agapama corporation has too much power, and how the economy is about to get hit hard, which will lead to poor people suffering.

8) Tabby Delmont is a difficult person to deal with and Kassidy can spot a con artist. Casey seems to be taken with her though, and is proud of herself for putting an ad for an ‘exorcist’ on the Internet. Everyone gathers in the kitchen. Tabby boasts that she has killed dozens of monsters and that she sells their ichor on the black market for a profit. She has exorbitant prices. Esther, still not feeling well, asks Tabby why she has to kill these creatures, asks Tabby why she has to kill this Thing that follows her because she does not hate it. Tabby tells her that if it isn’t killed, it will kill Esther, because something has riled it up and it is stronger than most of the ones she has seen. She talks about how these monsters latch onto people with Abilities and feed off of their emotions. She says that they eventually drive people insane, and says that her twin brother had one attached to him and he ended up murdering his ex wife. Marty calls bullshit, but clearly wants to be included. This is the longest all of them have been together for a long time, and Kassidy misses her dead brother for a moment, but quickly represses those feelings. Casey tells Tabby to get on with it and kill it, Tabby pulls out a weird Voorst bioweapon and attempts to slice the Thing but is thrown back and it mauls her metal arm. Everyone is freaked out, especially those who can’t see the Thing. Kassidy has started to get flashes of it more often, which is weird because she shouldn’t be able to see it. Tabby says she’ll figure it out, she just needs a better weapon. She bullies and harrasses them into letting her sleep on the couch LOL. Casey is obsessed with Tabby’s charisma and we see how….bored Casey is and how she is drawn to stupid shit that interests her just to not feel that boredom (ADHD alert).. Rosie and Kassidy talk after getting Esther (who had been really negatively affected by this) to bed, Rosie says that Esther’s mom was angry that she was in the hospital again and wants to IVC her for a longer stay, that her mom and the others in her family want her to come home so that they can take care of her. Kassidy hears the Thing whispering to Esther as it is curled beside her in bed, and feels a chill. She returns to her room and the BOOK. 

9) The team (mostly Pete) is still mad at Smiles for being a bastard. It’s Recruitment day (twice a year, new kids are brought in to replace the ones who have died or been Retired) and they decide to go watch all of them compete in the entrance test known as the Gauntlet. They are hardened to this. Going over to the gymnasium, they hear BG and Lady bragging about how they recruited (i.e. snatched kids with Abilities) a bunch of the newbies, which thankfully Smiles is rarely assigned to do since he fucked up too many times. There are 6 newcomers who begin to fight it out Hunger Games style with some volunteers. Smiles jokes about how he and Pete picked out Nicky and Johnny and it’s actually really disturbing to the reader that Smiles is joking so casually about something that must have been brutal to kids who were fuckin...15 and 12 at the time they were taken in. He notices that Nickels and Pete are acting close...too close…. They watch as one new kid gets really badly hurt and starts to cry, and Smiles hears BG and Echo laugh about it. He is bothered by this and dissociates. When he comes to, he’s back in the dorm and reflects on how he doesn't remember going through the Gauntlet. He is desperate to feel like he’s back in his own body, to feel present, so he tells Nickels and Johnny to get out and asks Pete if she wants to have sex. She agrees to this and they bang it out. Afterwards, she tells him that watching all that violence made her feel worried about Nickels and Johnny, since they’re weaker agents and will be Retired faster. Smiles tells her it doesn’t matter. All of them have an expiration date, they’re all going to die really bad deaths, it’s just a matter of when. Bad things happen to weaker agents.  They can’t get out and most of them don’t even want to get out-- including Smiles. 

10) Tabby brings back all kinds of crazy contraptions. Casey tells her that she isn’t going to pay her any extra money. Sometimes it feels like Casey is flirting with Tabby LOL ew. There’s a lot of tension between Tabby and the girls, since this woman is literally crashing at their home. Kassidy tells Casey that this woman is definitely going to rob them blind and is a scammer, and tells her that Casey can’t see it because she grew up so privileged and doesn’t have experience with scummy low class people, but Casey laughs it off, believing that nobody would dare because of who her father is. Marty tells them that where he lives, there are no slime creatures, but there are other...Things…., and Tabby demands to know where he lives. Marty talks about the Northern territories. He and Ayda play video games with their friends from the Colony of Green River, and Tabby asks how that is even possible, since Eden’s internet access is super closed off. Ayda is cagey about the whole thing and deflects. Esther’s sweet father shows up to check on her, he says that the rest of the family is doing good. Esther is not doing so good. The Thing won’t let her sleep. Seeing Esther and Quentin in such a state makes Kassidy scared and angry and she searches the BOOK for anything that might help her solve the problem. She finds information in the BOOK and is unsure of how she is even understanding what is written, because it is all gibberish to her. Something inside of her is hungry. She can’t stop eating. During the night, she cuts herself and makes a circle in the living room with her blood, then gets freaked out and covers it with a carpet. Her wounds heal with impossible speed and don’t scar. She can’t remember why she felt like doing that. It just felt natural to do.

11) In the Northern Territories, Field Marshall Anatole Surkhov returns to the Capital of Ile de Matane after a long campaign. He reports to the Prime Minister, Florence Gauthier, and tells her that he and his men destroyed many monsters in the woods. When he tells Florence that he lost a lot of good men, she doesn’t seem to care. Florence tells him that they need to double their efforts, but that her spies have heard that loyalists are congregating again in the cities and she doesn’t want another war on their hands. Anatole tells her that he would like to stay in his home Territory of Kemenka, which suffered the most losses during the war and where his mother and sisters live, and she denies him that. Florence has knowledge about him that would destroy his life if exposed (he is trans and the Northern Territories are not very progressive-- but they have gotten better under Florence’s regime) and uses that, as well as his family’s/dead father’s history of uh...war crimes...to control him. Anatole leaves, angry. He walks with his manservant, Dog (make implications about Dog’s history/we see parallel between what Anatole’s father was doing and what Silas is doing with secret police), and one of Florence’s little spies approaches them. Anatole tells the spy, Flick, to leave before he beats him down, and Flick just laughs. He asks if the wilderness is getting safer, because Florence wants to re-establish the trade routes with other Colonies. Anatole says that the last time they sent people to Eden, they never came back. Flick says that he doubts that was because of the crawling, twisted flesh creatures in the woods-- he knows about the people of Eden and he says that he wasn’t talking about Eden, he was talking about a different Colony, the ‘Lost Colony’ to the east where something bad happened a long time ago. Flick says that there is a powerful weapon there (talking about the BOOK) that can Make the North Great Again (™ lol). Anatole says that he only knows about Eden because of the witch boy Marty, but Flick says he has been in contact with someone involved in trade (Percy and West…) who want to open up trade routes as well. They walk past the gallows, where Florence has left the bodies of several political enemies hanging. Flick comments that he can’t imagine what would happen if Florence got her hands on the rulers of Eden, who have let the Northerners suffer and starve for 200 years. Anatole tells him not to be stupid, he would never allow his men to die for a pointless war. Flick asks why he thinks he has any say in the matter at all.

12) Kassidy is hungry, she can’t stop eating. She is eating her roommates' food because she is so hungry and they are getting mad at her. She calls out of work again one night, this has been happening more and more often. She is starting to feel worried. Every day, she understands more of the BOOK, even though she can’t read it. She thinks about showing it to Rosie, who she trusts more than Casey and Ayda, and who has proven that she can handle stressful situations. In the living room, Tabby is there, and she asks where Kassidy got the BOOK from in a weird way. Kassidy feels defensive. Rosie doesn’t take it seriously and seems distracted. Upstairs, Esther starts screaming again and Rosie leaves. Tabby tries to engage Kassidy in conversation. They are similar: both survivors, both very poor. Tabby asks to look at the BOOK and Kassidy grows angry at her, pushes down the desire to lash out.. Kassidy tells her that this is stupid, but knows different. Casey comes home later in a confrontational mood because her father’s shipping business is being threatened by Prosperity Inc’s new business procedures. The dark thing is is that Casey has killed two people-- other gang goons who were trying to kill her right back-- and it is hard to reconcile with that sometimes, since Casey does not seem to feel bad about it at all and is actually very open about having stabbed people to death before (so….Casey is actually internally very troubled by this and we’ll get into that in Book 2). She asks Kassidy if she remembers Rome Prospas from high school, since he’s only 20 and now a huge threat to her father’s business. The memories of that time are too painful for her to even think about, and Kassidy returns to her room and stares at the BOOK.

13) Dr. Lily Bellamy is hard at work as a geneticist. She works on contracts, sometimes for Eden’s government, but mainly what she does is create Artificials. The first Artificials were developed 30 years ago, using technology her parents developed. Dr. B imagines a world with no more sickness or disease. She checks on the development of several fetuses ordered by some rich people and we see how cold and clinical she is. She has her own laboratory. A chemist named Yancey Passero shows up to talk about work. Dr. B has been cheating on her husband with Yancey. They have disturbing sex in the lab LOL. Dr. B is worried about her daughter Esther and doesn’t know how to protect her from herself. The two of them look over some clinical trials that they have been working on together and Dr. B recognizes a name (Rosie). Yancey seems frustrated by the trials because there have never been any human survivors. Dr. B tells him that there was one, 7 years ago, but it was an accident and the subject is now insane (it’s Lee…). In Dr. B’s lab, there is tons of ichor from slime monsters that she has procured on the black market. It’s late, and she goes home to her husband Quentin, who is disabled and irritates her. We see that she is motivated in her genetic projects because of her family members who aren’t ‘perfect’. They watch TV and West comes on, we see that Dr B is troubled by him for some reason. She thinks about her project and wonders if she’s just wasting time.

14) Kassidy and her roommates and Tabby Delmont are ready to destroy the monster. Tabby has finally procured the weapon that she believes can kill it. It is unusual for these slime monsters to be this strong and she asks Ayda if she has also noticed that there seem to be more of them, and they are multiplying. Ayda hurriedly changes the subject but Marty tells her that it’s stupid to try to protect herself because everyone already knows that she is a psychic. Kassidy finds herself wishing that she was like Tabby, Esther, and Ayda. They gather in the living room and Kassidy remembers that she painted a circle of her own blood on the floor beneath the carpet. When Esther walks in, Kassidy finds that she can see the Creature that follows her. It’s terrible, a crawling black slimely thing with a white skull face like a stag’s. It looks at her and it is not angry, it is afraid in the way an animal is afraid of a predator, it’s scared! Kassidy feels so hungry when she looks at it. At first, nothing happens. Tabby brandishes the strange weapon and Ayda tells her to stop, that this isn’t a good idea, and her psychic fear affects the group. Esther is like, wait, wait wait! Kassidy wants to see the slime Creature Destroyed, completely and utterly, and has a vision, a memory, of another place, another universe that these slime alien things originated in and a huge hungry presence ripping a hole in their dimension to get at them. Tabby slices into the creature again and again without mercy, Esther is screaming and screaming and Rosie tries to protect her. Ayda begs Tabby to stop, she is empathically connected to the creature’s fear. But Tabby does not stop and the creature is reduced to flesh and black blood. Ayda passes out from the psychic connection, and Marty freaks because he is so worried about her. Kassidy feels energized from the massacre, but everyone is wiped and exhausted. Casey, who was unable to see what happened but now knows Tabby was not just conning them, asks where Tabby got the weapon. Tabby said it is secret police tech, sold on the black market. The gang is chilled by that, especially Kassidy, who has a huge fear of them because her brother was murdered by those people almost 7 years ago. Esther begins to cry. The creature had been a part of her life since childhood. Kassidy stoop to touch the black blood and has to keep herself from putting her finger in her mouth to taste it. Marty asks “what now?”

ACT TWO

1) Kassidy returns from work, exhausted. It’s too much, she is not particularly good at being a nurse, and she has too much to occupy her mind. 8:30 am, she gets home to find Tabby, Casey, and Esther -- since Rosie and Ayda are people who, you know, have jobs. Tabby irritates her and she asks why she hasn’t left yet. Tabby says that she’s sleeping on the couch now and Casey has agreed to let her stay if she pays part of the rent. Kassidy doesn’t like this and confronts Casey  about why she didn’t talk to her about it, and Casey says that her father’s company owns the house so she makes the choices. As they are beginning to argue, someone knocks on the door. Esther, still recovering from her ordeal, and annoyed by Casey and Kassidy’s angry flirtation rituals, goes to open it and says that there’s a homeless guy on their doorstep. Casey yells at the guy to get lost but he won’t leave. Kassidy suddenly feels unnatural interest, she gets up to go to the door. The guy is DISGUSTING, smells like actual shit, dirty, rotting teeth, scrawny, ragged clothes. As a medical professional (lol) she recognizes that the guy has a severe septic infection in one eye and tells him he needs to go to the hospital. The guy is muttering to himself, crazy things, not lucid at all. He Looks at Kassidy with his one good eye and starts talking crazier, trying to comfort himself, calls her Cathy and starts apologizing to her and talking about something inside of her. Casey becomes protective, pushes him away from Kassidy, tells him to get lost before she beats him into the ground. Tabby finally gets her lazy ass up to deal with the problem and tells him to scram. The guy looks at her, calls her by her name, and tells her that he had to find her. He says he had to find her, something’s coming, something’s coming, saying that something is ‘talking to him again’, something from the Rift. Tabby then recognizes him and tells them that this is her brother Tony, who she thought was dead. Despite this reunion, Tabby does not react with huge emotion. Kassidy feels jealous bitterness twist inside of her-- after all, her brother is dead, he’s not coming back. 

2) Smiles, BG, Lady, Echo, and a few other A-Class agents go on a mission to the Prison District to help subdue a riot. It seems that there have been more and more riots and violence over the last couple years. Smiles makes this comment and BG scoffs and says that he wouldn’t be saying that if he had been active during B-Day. Smiles has no memories of the bombings, that was before his time. This riot was in response to an act of brutality by a prison guard against an inmate, and now the prisoners have taken over a cell block. They meet the Warden (Hax...reeeeeeeeeee), who gives off bad vibes and is just as casually cruel as everyone else Smiles deals with. The secret police go to the cell block that inmates have taken over and start fuckin...bashing people, they work together effectively. Lady asks Smiles why he and Pete don’t get rid of the dead weight on their team and replace them with A-Class agents, which Smiles ignores. She gives him the creeps. An inmate gets the jump on Lady and knocks her out (as a psychic, she is physically fragile) and Smiles protects her with his bubbles. BG goes into a rage and kills several inmates, which they weren’t supposed to do. He begrudgingly thanks Smiles, says he owes him one,  and Smiles tells BG he would rather keep Lady alive so that she can make BG and Echo suffer than giving her the mercy of killing her.

3) Kassidy calls on Marty to help her research the pages of the 15 pages of the BOOK that had showed up on the internet in Eden 3 years ago. She is trying to not get involved with the house drama of Tabby’s brother Tony showing up. Casey, generous and curious as ever, took him to a street doctor to get him fixed up -- they had to remove his eye and teeth because of the rot and give him new ones.The rest of the girls are interested in the Tony drama, especially because of the murder that he claims to be responsible for but didn’t actually commit, but Kassidy feels something strange when she looks at him and the way he reacted to her when they first met made her uneasy. Marty is naturally suspicious of Tony and claims that it’s unsafe for them to have let a random dangerous man stay with them, like wtf is wrong with them, but as usual, Casey’s word on the matter was final. Casey is really causing a lot of problems. Why aren’t they worried about living with a guy who may or may not have killed someone? WELL, it’s because they already live with a girl who has DEFINITELY killed people before. Kassidy and Marty haven’t hung out much since they were teenagers and Marty seems glad to spend time researching with her. Neither of them want to mention Kip but Marty drops a few hints that he feels guilty about something that happened back then and mentions someone named Lee-- Kassidy tells him to drop it, it doesn’t matter because Kip is dead. The blood magic religion seems to have spread like crazy over the last 3 years. Marty says that there’s something similar in his Colony, remnants from a nearby town called Blagodat, that was wiped out by the military over 20 years ago. Marty doesn’t know too much about this town, only that they were all blood magic practicing and had a black pyramid and that the owl-masked priest did something to the Princess of the North to make her monstrous. He saw the terrible Princess briefly 10 years ago before she was killed by another blood magic practitioner named Olive. He also knows about rumours about something called the Lost Colony where blood magic stuff was rumored to have destroyed it, which Kassidy has not heard of, but it gives her a chill. Marty says that in the North, there have always been rumors of a weapon there, and that 200 years ago the last democratic leader (Frank Martel….who Silas fuckin let Jerry eat, bitch) went there to investigate and never came back. Kassidy says that it’s hard to get much information about the outside world because of Eden’s political stances, but they’ve learned more because after B-Day, they had to bring laborers in from the Colony of Serenity to help rebuild. Kids in Eden are taught that the outside world is a terrible, dangerous place that is full of monsters (it is) and that the Rift emits weird toxic rays. Marty bitterly says that because of Eden’s trade embargo and isolationism, his Colony has suffered 200 years of starvation and war. He tells Kassidy he will find out more info about the Lost Colony and the blood magic town of Blagodat, if he can. 

4) A meeting of the Central Committee, the people who govern Eden. Sashi, who has filed more charges of corporate corruption against the mega-corporations belonging to West, Rome, and Gena Voorst, is called to give a statement about it. Her findings on how much power private companies have in Eden get a stir from everyone. Dana Nguyen is included in this but hates participating. Mayor Malena talks about cracking down on Agapama shipping to and from other Colonies, as he is concerned about drugs being trafficked in, particularly stimulants. Dana is asked what she thinks should be done about the influx of violent crime, but she is hungover and unprepared. A group of civilians have signed a petition about the number of missing children in Eden over the years, but the Committee does not take this seriously since most of them agree that it is likely due to human trafficking to other Colonies and again blame Agapama-- they want to use this as an excuse to crack down on private corporations. The Central Committee begins talking about the pros and cons of moving to Nationalize the corporations and what it would look like for Eden to be completely self-sufficient, and ways that they can cease trade. They have ceased trade with one Colony (The Northern Territories) before, about 200 years ago. Sashi is told that she can leave since she is done presenting her findings. As she walks out, a quiet and normal looking woman she has never seen before and who said nothing during the meeting (SILAS AHHH RUN AWAY BITCH) thanks her for her hard work.

5) At work, Kassidy goes overboard while assisting with an autopsy and mutilates the corpse. Her supervisor asks her what’s been going on, she looks sick and her work has been getting worse. Kassidy evades the question, her mind filled with images of rotting flesh. Her supervisor asks if she needs time off and Kassidy says no, it’s just her home life is chaotic because of her idiot roommate’s insane decision to bring random people into their home. She has not forgotten that Tony allegedly murdered his pregnant wife and the only reason she has not turned him in is because she’s scared of Casey and Tabby. Kassidy goes on break and practices blood magic, she has scanned all of the pages of the Book (BIG MISTAKE) so that she can look at them anywhere and so that she could share them with Marty. It’s 3am. Esther calls her and asks if she’s heard from Rosie, since she didn’t come home yet, but Kassidy has heard nothing. She tries to be comforting to her friend who is worried, but is not very good at it. At this point, Kassidy can completely understand the Book and looks at a spell that can help you find someone. She thinks about using it, but does not.

6) Smiles learns that he has lost 3 days of time. Pete is beyond angry at him and tells him that Nickels and Johnny are terrified because he snapped on them and treated them really poorly and cruelly and said some really mean things to them. Smiles says that’s bullshit, he would never do that, and Pete tells him that she watched him. The last thing that Smiles can remember is being on a simple surveillance mission, watching the Mayor give a press conference to a bunch of journalists (psycho violin noise...yes he saw Lee Harlan). He does not know why that upset him. He tells Pete again that he would never hurt anyone on the team on purpose, that he didn’t do anything. She tells him that’s not an excuse and that he is responsible for his own actions and says that he needs to go to the infirmary to see someone named ‘Doc’ who is on shift, because there is clearly something wrong with him. Smiles says there’s something wrong with everyone in the program, idiot, they were all kidnapped as children and tortured and forced to hurt others. Pete has a lot of problems with his leadership and believes he is not doing a good enough job.  The staff member October, comes and tells Smiles that he is taking him Upstairs for re-education, because his behavior has been troubling to staff. Smiles does not remember this but knows better than to fight it. As he gets led away, Pete doesn’t look sorry for him at all, she looks like she thinks that he deserves this. October is mean to Smiles as he takes him Upstairs and Smiles fantasizes about how easy it would be to kill him. Smiles gets strapped to a chair in a little room and Lady comes in to hurt him and get into his brain. Lady tells Smiles that he is all fragmented inside, that she knows deep down inside he is vulnerable like a child. Smiles tells her that he shouldn’t be responsible for things he can’t remember and Lady tells him that he’s not special, she can’t remember anything lol and then Lady begins to torture him by bringing back painful memories. The last thing he sees is an explosion contained by one of his bubbles, and he blacks out.

7) Rosie has not returned for 3 days at this point and is not answering her phone, and Esther is beside herself. Despite the Monster no longer following her, she seems really unstable, and she is like well, you would feel unstable too if you lost something/someone who you grew up with. Well, Kassidy does know the feeling of losing someone she grew up with. Esther goes to her parent’s house because she needs support from her dad and siblings. Casey had unthinkingly made a joke that Rosie probably couldn’t deal with Esther being so high maintenance and left her, but they’ve been dating on and off since high school and during short break ups before, Rosie always talked it out with Esther. Kassidy and Marty talk about their theories about the Lost Colony and blood magic. Tony is there, but weird and zoned out as usual, Kassidy thinks he is a huge freak and feels uncomfortable with him living in their attic but can’t fight Casey on it. Marty gets a guy he knows, Anatole Surkhov, to talk to Kassidy about his experiences, because he has explored a lot due to being in the Army. The cast of weird adults Marty seems to live with is well known, especially by Ayda and Casey, they have talked to them all before-- especially Jules and Flick. It is evident that Marty doesn’t have any friends his own age where he lives, and it seems kind of sad. Anatole takes blood magic seriously and seems annoyed with Marty because he is busy. But he briefly talks about what the cultists of Blagodat and their black pyramid did to his territory, destroying the landscape with hideous fleshy pits, poisoning the water and turning people into monsters (YEAH. proof that people are trying to ‘turn people into monsters’ i.e. Rosie, and Lee etc etc), and says that when he was a child, his people eradicated them. Suddenly Tony speaks up and asks if they killed the women and the children as well, a strange look on his face, a sadness. Anatole says that there were many survivors, and that is why the North continues to have problems with blood magic, and it is one of his goals to destroy these people Then he says something to Marty in another language and leaves. Kassidy asks Tony what that was all about, Tony is evasive and tells them to stop messing around with stuff they don’t understand, it destroyed his life and it will destroy theirs as well. Kassidy and Marty, bastards that they are, say that’s probably because he killed his wife. Tony does not deny this (wahhh he feels guilt for Cathy’s death) but repeats that they shouldn’t be messing around with things they don’t understand. He asks Kassidy where she even learned all the stuff about blood magic and Kassidy feels defensive/evasive and says that there are 15 weird pages about it on the internet, that she found out about it from an advertisement from the Church. 

8) While Kassidy was asleep, Rosaline returned. It has been a whole week. She seems guilty and apologetic, saying that one of the medical projects she does for extra money went a little wrong and she had to stay at the hospital. She looks sick. Esther is beside herself and wants to reach out to her mom for help, but Rosaline firmly says she does not want to do that. Rosaline can’t stop throwing up black stuff and her eyes look weird. Kassidy feels strange but has to get ready for work, these days she does not leave the Book around because she doesn’t trust Tony. Tabby takes one look at Rosaline and says that there’s something fucked up about her and demands to know what kind of testing she was doing. Rosie says she doesn’t want to get into it all, but she made about $5,000. Tabby rants about how you can’t trust the intelligentsia, that the scientists in Eden do all kinds of messed up things to people, and basically starts talking about conspiracy theories about how the government steals children and does bad things to people (dude if Tabby was real, she would be like a weirdo Q-anon freak). Kassidy gets out of there and goes to work. Cihad Tariq is still at the hospital again despite it being 11 and he checks in with her and says she looks sick, genuinely worried. Kassidy realizes that his accent sounds like Anatole’s (Russian. The Northern Territories are divided by language-- English, French, and Russian. So CT has a light russian-yaccent, he is scary). Rudely, she asks Cihad where he was born, because she figures that he might be from up there, possibly from the destroyed town of Blagodat, and that is where the Book came from. Cihad tells her that is not appropriate and that he does not appreciate her pushing his boundaries like that. Kassidy has the Book in her backpack and Cihad’s red eyes linger on it. It’s clear that he is about to ask her about it, but then gets a call (from Silas, but Kassidy doesn’t know that) that upsets him, and he says he has to leave. Kassidy, angry at him because she knows that he knows what she has done, tells him that when she was a kid, her mom used to always be at work too, so maybe he should think about his daughter.

9) Kassidy wakes up with a bloody nose and finds that one of her fingernails is flaking off. She opens up the BOOK, and has become really possessive of it. There is a passage in it that talks about bringing the dead back to life. Kassidy fixates on that. She allows herself to think about bringing her brother back from the dead and reads over the passage again and again. She goes downstairs to hang out. Esther is like, “hey Kassidy, did you see Ben got out of prison?” and we see Kassidy get angry but it’s not really elaborated on who Ben is or why this is significant. Ayda is talking about her new crush, the dad of a kid she teaches and everyone roasts her for this LOL. Casey comments on how much Kassidy has been eating lately (like crazy amounts) but says she looks like she’s lost weight and is pushing boundaries again. Kassidy feels irritable and snaps at her by trying to say something hurtful, but Casey is immune to it. She asks Marty if he’s found out anything new about the Lost Colony, and he says no, then asks her if she’s learned anything about it from reading the BOOK, because he is literally autistic he never really ‘got’ that Kassidy wanted to hide that from Tony like everyone else did.  Tony freaks out and says that he knew it, he fucking knew that the BOOK was here, he had Seen its presence on Kassidy. Tony basically loses his mind and starts ranting about Cathy and gets up to go to Kassidy’s room to try and destroy the BOOK, saying that they were all in danger, blah blah blah. Casey thinks this is terribly funny, but it’s scaring Ayda. Kassidy feels rage she hasn’t felt in years and tries to physically take it back from him but Tony is bigger than she is, even though he is weak as shit, he is stronger than she is. He attempts to tear it to shreds, to rip out the pages, but is unable to, then starts raving about how he is going to take it and leave. Kassidy attacks him with blood magic in front of everyone, takes the BOOK back and tells him that she will kill him if he ever does that again. Tony starts laughing hysterically and talking crazy about how this was fate, that ‘IT’ has set everything up because ‘IT’ wants to kill him, that he never should have left the sewers, that this was ‘IT’s’ plan, that they were all going to die because this little girl wanted to mess around with things she didn’t understand. Casey asks Kassidy wtf is wrong with her because seeing someone use blood magic is fucked up, but Kassidy just tells her that she wants the Delmonts to leave or else she will, and that Casey needs to choose between these people who she views as entertainment or Kassidy, her friend of many years. Casey hesitates for a beat too long. Then Kassidy pushes past her and leaves the house.

10) Smiles and the gang all innocently watch the news in the breakroom. An interview with Rome Prospas comes on where he talks about his economic plans and his company. Johnny  is massively triggered by this because Rome looks exactly like him and it is clear that they are related. Johnny, someone who can’t handle rejection, wants to know why his family didn’t want him, like what was wrong with him that made his family not want him. Smiles and Pete are not helpful and tell him that recruits are always kidnapped, so he shouldn’t worry about his family not wanting him. He has a BPD meltdown and leaves. Nickels tells them good job, he’s going to go hurt himself, and Smiles says that he’s sick of having to constantly look out for his younger squadmates and at some point you have to learn how life is. Nickels says he can go fuck himself, because they’re always watching out for Smiles. Pete takes her side, and Smiles is troubled by how close they’re getting (NICKELS JUST WANTS TO TOUCH SOME TITTIES). Smiles goes to work out with Creedo, an old team mate of his. He asks her how she deals with her own shitty teammate, Pills. Creedo grudgingly tells him that she’s the closest thing she has to family and that weaker agents get Retired faster, so it’s better to care about them while you can. Their lives are so bad and so short. They take out their aggression on each other, then go to the dining hall to get a snack because they can’t stand their own teams LOL. There is some weird sexual tension between Smiles and Creedo, but also they can’t stand each other and can’t work with each other. They listen in to some of the missions getting assigned for the next few shifts, mostly recon, but it looks like squads are getting assigned a raid at a blood magic church. Smiles and Creedo agree that blood magic is the biggest problem in Eden right now and they are scared of it and don’t understand it. A staff member passes by and insinuates something bad happened with Johnny. Smiles coldly tells Creedo that people have to be responsible for their own actions. Creedo tells him that he would have never said that when she first met him at 18. Frustrated, Smiles leaves her to go find his teammate. He finds him, it’s clear that Johnny is too young and mentally ill to understand he doesn’t deserve to get hurt. Smiles clumsily apologizes and says that of course his family wanted him, Smiles explains the recruitment process (we see how eaten up by guilt he is for having participated in this in the past). He asks Johnny if he wants to know more about his family. Johnny says no, but Smiles knows he is lying.

11) Kassidy falls asleep at work and has dreams of the planet eating monster ripping a hole through dimensions and of a bright comet shooting through the sky. She wakes up and realizes that she didn’t hear a patient’s call button and that they are dead. Kassidy is not bothered by death, only by the fear that she may get in trouble. She contemplates death and finally allows herself to think about her dead brother Kip and what he would tell her to do. She re-reads the passage in the Book about bringing the dead back to life (Also….this is the spell that Reuben used to bring all of the Immortal gang back permanently…). Marty messages her and asks why she hasn’t just turned Tony in to the police, since he is still wanted for murder. Kassidy hates cops and hates Eden’s justice system-- after all, it is what unfairly got her brother killed all those years ago. She goes home and Tony is there. He apologizes to her. He tells her about his past, about how he abandoned his wife and baby due to fear of the slime creatures and sensing the Book’s presence for the first time in the hospital, his own experience with addiction, then how he reunited with his family and watched as Cathy became consumed with researching the Book and the Void, that it formed something inside her body and was killing her, and that she killed herself, leading to him hiding in the sewers for 2 years. He says that he does not want that to happen to Kassidy, or to anyone ever again. He talks about evil, true evil, evil that is hungry. Tony asks Kassidy if she understands how devastating it is to lose someone. Kassidy does understand. She accepts his apology, but says that she is going to continue looking into blood magic. Tony tells her that he will help her, but that his reasons are different than hers (see if he can do anything to destroy the BOOK/monster).

12) Sashi continues to research bullshit corporate crime going on in Eden. She tries to get one of West Agapama’s daughter’s, Cassiopeia -- a known enforcer in his organization-- to come in for an interview, but typical Casey does not cooperate and will not without a warrant. Still, Sashi has compiled mountains of shit on the corruption within the megacorporations, as well as the economic impact it has had on the people of Eden. She’s working hard. She goes out to lunch with her wife, Kelsey, who is also a cop, but not a detective. They talk about their days. They are thinking about having a baby together. A nice moment. Sashi goes back to her office to work. And then...fucking....Silas shows up. Sashi is very confused about who this person is, exactly, but feels like she is probably high up in the government since she was at the Central Committee meeting. Again, Silas tells her that she appreciates her hard work investigating corruption in Eden. Sashi thanks her and then politely asks her who she is. And lmao, Silas just tells her that she has worked ‘behind the scenes for a long time’, which is...a little unsettling to hear. Silas asks Sashi about her ambitions, and Sashi truthfully says that she wishes she could get a promotion so that her salary is higher, because she and her wife would like to start a family. Silas is kind of quiet and awkward, but nice to talk to. Silas asks if she thinks that Dana Nguyen would promote her, and Sashi sort of slips up and says that she does not believe Dana likes her. Silas, in a roundabout way, asks Sashi in her opinion, as someone whose job it is to research corruption, is Dana Nguyen corrupt/not loyal to Eden. Sashi truthfully tells her that she might be, and talks about some of the stuff she has observed (her behavior, her closeness to Vega, the fact that her son Christopher was part of a terrorist organization)-- she really believes that Silas must be someone very high up on the food chain. Silas just listens, then thanks Sashi and leaves. Sashi sits in her office and thinks about how weird that was. She continues to work, then leaves at the end of her shift, passing a truly miserable looking Dana on the way out. She goes to bed, and when she wakes up, she sees an email that says that she has been promoted from mere Detective, to Detective Superintendent.

13) Rosaline is still sick, so she and Esther travel down to the Lower Levels to visit Rosie’s old guardian, Barbara Church. Kassidy, Marty, and Tony all discuss what they know so far about the Book, the Lost Colony, and Blagodat. Kassidy tells them that she believes that her boss, Cihad Tariq, is involved somehow-- he is a foreigner and owned the Book to begin with, and she believes he brought it to Eden with him. Tony scoffs and says he knows all about Cihad Tariq, that they have a...history and that he needs to be avoided for more reasons than his blood magic. Kassidy is like WTF why is everything connected, and Tony talks about his belief in fate/something bigger than them manipulating/pulling the strings. Marty says that it’s strange that someone could have traveled so far to Eden with the Book and be allowed to live there, and even go to school and rise to such an important job. Kassidy says that she could just ask him, and Tony says that she needs to leave Cihad alone, he was involved with sketchy things (Silas…) and probably still is. Tony tells them that Cihad raised his daughter with Cathy and that they think he’s dead and he wants it to stay that way. When Kassidy mouths off, he asks her how she would feel if her mom suddenly came back into her life. Kassidy says she never told him about her bad relationship with her mom and Tony says that he picks up on things, he just knows things, he can See things, he’s a psychic but tries to give people their privacy. Kassidy thinks about how it isn’t fair that some people were born with Abilities and she is powerless and grows more determined to use more blood magic despite the side effects.

14) Anatole returns to the destroyed blood magic town of Blagodat because Marty would not stop asking him to show it to him. Dog is with him, and so is Marty’s guardian , a witch named Jules. Also along is a survivor of the town whose name is Olive. Jules and Dog have a weird dynamic where it’s clear they like each other, but nothing is ever going to happen. Blagodat is less than 50 miles away from the nearest Territory, but Anatole is watchful. He carries his father’s sword, which is forged of starmetal and was enchanted by Jules. There is not much left of the blood magic town. Marty investigates the place where the black pyramid once stood, and excitedly talks in English to his virtual friends, Kassidy and Tony in Eden. Olive says that she is glad she doesn’t remember living there-- it’s destruction was so traumatic for her that she lost her memory of it all. Jules spits on the ground to guard herself against evil and tells Anatole that they need to leave. Anatole remembers the day that his father led men to destroy this place. When he approaches the ruins of the black pyramid temple, his sword begins to vibrate and hum. He spots something hauling itself through the rubble and tells Marty to get off the phone because they need to leave. It’s a grotesque twisted disgusting hungry creature, a leftover of what occurred to 90% of humanity when the RIFT opened 800 years ago. It attacks them. They (except Marty) work together to destroy it.. Marty is shaken by seeing one of these semi-human things for the first time and asks how many of them there are in the world and if they are the same thing as the slime creatures he has heard about. Anatole does not know the answer to this. He tells Marty that these creatures are the reason that the Northern Territories are so isolated-- The North is very close to the Lost Colony that lies to the east and these things are drawn to it and the surrounding area. Marty accuses him of being a liar, he lied to him and Kassidy when they were asking about the Lost Colony. He gets worked up and has a seizure, Jules asks him what he saw and Marty will not tell her. Anatole tells him that there are things he is better off not knowing about, and he should be grateful for his ignorance and how he has been so protected. His mind is drawn to the Lost Colony and what happened there.

15) Kassidy goes back to the blood magic church in the Lower Levels and finds Helen. She tells her that she has been practicing blood magic and Helen seems surprised to learn that she’s been doing it without a teacher. They talk about power, and lacking power. Kassidy opens up a little about growing up poor and getting bullied by other kids, and Helen relates to this (HEAVILY imply that Helen did something to get rid of a man who had hurt her a few months ago and that is one of the reasons that lately weird things have been happening in Eden, why people are angrier and more violent). Kassidy asks about the possibility of bringing the dead back to life, and classic psycho religious person Helen says that it is a matter of faith. She invites Kassidy to become a member of the Church but Kassidy still finds all religion creepy. She wants to know if it’s possible to become very good at blood magic without a teacher and Helen tells her no, which is why she should join the Church. Helen tells her that things are about to get better in Eden because God is about to come back, God just needs a human body. Kassidy remembers what Tony said happened to Cathy and feels very afraid. She gets up to leave, but Helen grabs her by the hand and asks her if she has seen God, and then talks about looking into the VOID. Kassidy tells her to let go of her, but Helen won’t. She keeps asking her if she has seen God, talking crazy stuff about how society needs to be rebuilt and how every Artificial is an abomination, and how Bomb Day had been a great cleanse and sacrifice. She notices that Kassidy’s eyes have not turned red, despite using blood magic, Kassidy’s eyes are still black. Kassidy attacks her with her blood magic and escapes the Church, then passes out on the train. She realizes that she left her ID there. AND THEN….REPULSIVE SEX SCENE LOL Kassidy just wants to feel in control and bangs some random girl.

16) Smiles and his squad are sent to the blood magic church to take in Helen Guttierez. Information says that she has been causing disorder and is personally responsible for the deaths of 3 people, partially responsible for the deaths of far more. Blood magic did not exist in Eden only a few years previously, and the Central Committee has just ruled that it is illegal and punishable by death. The Squad is uneasy and scared of blood magic, they have seen what it can do. They break into the Church. It’s the middle of the night. Helen is still awake and they find her...doing...something. Surrounded by candles, in front of an altar, naked, covered in blood. There is a mutilated body in front of her. Smiles and co are like wtf. Helen is clearly having some kind of religious euphoria, talking to Something (the god of the rift) saying that she knows it is there, it’s in Eden, and that she has seen it. The Squad interrupts her prayers. Smiles is like, you’re coming with us, lady. Helen tells him that she is done doing what others tell her to do. Smiles bubbles her and she easily breaks it, then summons HUGE slime monsters to come and attack them. Big fight, and the Squad is losing badly. Helen sees Johnny, her face twists in hatred, she says that such aberrations should not exist and that soon there will be no more Artificials. She starts hurting him badly, then does something that turns him against them (setting up the future thing where Artificials all go crazy). 2 of her church members bust in. Pete has her hands full with restraining JVP. Nickels’s nose is bleeding like crazy as she uses her powers and she is growing weaker. Smiles is like, uh oh, I think we’re all going to die...And they are all overpowered by the blood magic. Helen is like, did you really think you could fight the power of god? God is here. She takes off Smiles’s clothes and takes him to the altar, it’s pretty clear that his guts are about to get spilled. Smiles thinks that it’s ironic that he is going to die like this instead of from a bullet to the head. Nickels saves the day by opening her mind to Lady. BG’s Squad busts in and is easily able to wipe the floor with the cultists. BG tells Smiles that he owed him one anyways for saving Lady in the Prison District. Smiles pushes him away and rushes to check Nickels, who looks like she’s going to keel over, he thanks her for her quick thinking. Nickels is not feeling good, because she just had Lady in her mind, and Lady does some psychic shit to help her. BG is like wtf is wrong with Johnny, because he is still acting crazy, Smiles doesn’t know-- this marks beginning of BG and Johnny friendship. Smiles wanders around the temple. He picks up Kassidy’s ID from the hospital that she forgot the last time she was here, and is compelled to put it in his pocket so that nobody else sees it.

17) Ayda tells everyone to act normal because her crush is coming over for tea. They agree to behave. Rosaline is still sick and Kassidy has a conversation with Esther about what they’re going to do if she doesn’t get better, Esther says that she’ll get her family to hire a lawyer and press charges. When Ayda’s crush shows up, it’s fucking CIHAD, but he’s acting blank and weird and confused. Kassidy pulls Ayda aside and asks if she’s doing that to him, because Cihad barely recognized her and she knows Ayda is an empath. Ayda becomes offended. Tabby comes in and her presence seems to jar Cihad from his trance and Kassidy realizes that he sees Tony in Tabby’s face. Kassidy panics and goes to the attic where Tony has been staying and tells him not to leave or freak out because his ex is downstairs. She gives Tony the BOOK because she is in a full paranoia attack. Tony demands she get it away from him, but she leaves him anyway. Cihad shakes himself more from Ayda’s control, sees Kassidy, and asks her where his BOOK is. Kassidy denies that she has it. Ayda grows upset, with the situation and with herself. Casey thrives in the chaos. Cihad tells Ayda to get the hell away from him (he is very triggered by the mind control-- mirroring what we just saw Smiles do), becomes angrier with Kassidy and demands she give him the Book because it belongs to him and has been in his family for a long time. He tells her that he can see she has been using blood magic and that it’s going to kill her, he has always known that she has been using blood magic. Cihad uses his own blood to complete a detection spell to find the BOOK and heads towards the attic. Kassidy tells him he can’t go up there but he ignores her and pushes past her and goes up there. There are screams and lots of noises from the attic. Casey is like, “Good job Ade, you just got Tony killed” LOL because they can’t get up there and it sounds like someone is being murdered. Eventually, Cihad comes down with the BOOK, and they hear him tell Tony to not follow him. Then he tells the girls he never wants to see any of them again, and leaves. They all rush up there to find Tony very freaked out and upset and all he says, miserably, is that he does not understand why he even tries-- there is a fixed, natural order (Fate) in the universe that he can See, and there is no point in fighting what is predetermined. To him, this order/fate will inevitably screw him every time (lol Tony). Kassidy, who is numb and shocked that the BOOK was just taken from her, is not willing to believe that things are predetermined and is not going to give up using blood magic. 

ACT 3

1) Kassidy gets called into work during the daytime. Cihad sits her down and fires her. He tells her that he can’t trust her as an employee because she broke into his office, stole from him, and lied to him. He pauses and tells her to be careful because she doesn’t look well and what she is doing is destroying her body. He doesn’t seem angry anymore, just...disappointed lol. Kassidy feels numb on the train ride home and thinks to herself that now she will have more time to practice blood magic. She looks at her phone and sees that the blood magic church she had gone to has been raided and Helen Guttierez, along with other churchgoers, have been arrested for murder. It is clear that this was secret police and Kassidy feels scared. She almost faints on the train again. She gets home, sits down with Tony, and tells him that she got fired. Tony tells her that he has been fired from a lot of jobs before he got sober. Kassidy already knew he was an alcoholic and thinks about her mother, but doesn’t make the obvious connection to the fact that she is also engaging in addict behavior to cope with her brother’s death. She asks what helped him stop drinking and Tony told her he stopped wanting to die. Kassidy thinks about what CT told her and wonders if she’s dying because at this point what she is doing is compulsive. Esther calls her and tells her that she thinks something’s really wrong with Rosie because they went to see her mom and Dr. Bellamy was acting really weird around Rosie, like she was property, Esther says she thinks she had something to do with it. Little throwaway expository thing about Yancey-- someone Esther already knows vaguely because he works for her mom. Yancey was the one running the clinical trials behind what happened to Rosie.

2) Kassidy goes to her childhood apartment to take some of Kip’s belongings so that she can try to bring him back. The apartment brings back a lot of memories but Kassidy is determined not to feel them. It looks like her mom has not been doing so well, everything is dirty and piled up. She goes into Kip’s bedroom, which has largely been untouched since his death and suppresses her emotions even more. She finds his old jacket, which was very sentimental to him because it belonged to his mom Harry, who ‘committed suicide’. Kassidy also tears everything apart to find his gross old hairbrush that still has his hair in it and an old toothbrush (YES THANK GOD DANA IS DEPRESSED AND A SLOB). She also takes the container that has Kip’s ashes in it, that were given to the family after the execution. She is about to get out, when Dana comes home, extremely drunk, and she is like wtf are you doing here because they have not seen eachother in over 2 years, Dana didn’t even come see her when she graduated nursing school. Kassidy feels disgust and anger towards her mother, she blames her for what happened all those years ago, for not noticing how mentally ill Kip was, for not being around. Dana thinks Kassidy looks like she is dying (she looks really bad) and goes ballistic because she gets angry when she is worried. They get into a terrible fight and Kassidy tells her that she wishes Dana had died instead of Kip. She leaves, wearing her dead brother’s jacket, and allows herself to think about what happened. The BOOK is corrupting and seductive inside of her mind, and she uses blood magic to shove people out of her way. She is angry and full of grief and more determined than ever to be more than the way she was born. She knows she is no longer helpless and will give anything-- even her own life-- to make sure that she does not become powerless again. This is someone who has lost everything and is willing to destroy herself to build herself back up again.

3) Anatole checks in with Florence about the politics in the Northern Territories and grows more frustrated with her. He is tired of the constant struggle and her desire for expansion and believes that their efforts are most useful on their own turf. He is tired of losing people-- the war is over! He wants to go back to his home Territory of Kemenka but she will not allow it. Florence asks Anatole why he made an exhibition to the destroyed blood magic town of Blagodat and asks him if he found anything there-- something that would look like an old BOOK. She has been reading the former leader of the Northern Territories’s (Frank Martel….) journals and heard about it there. She takes him to a room and shows him a glass tank of preservative fluids, where she has contained the corpse of the former Princess of the North, a woman killed by Olive 12 years ago, who was a hideous hybrid of human and slime alien. This Princess had been mutated by the Red Priest (CT’s Dad…) as a child. This body is hideous and repulsive and it is proof that it is possible to create bodies that...Entities….can live in without decay and corruption (we think of Tony and the thing that Helen said about God needing a body) Florence asks Anatole about his loyalty. He knows that she has stopped trusting him and his pride is hurt and he leaves. Flick walks up and tells him that she has sent surveillance parties to both Eden and the Lost Colony and that they never came back. He has a tape recorder with radio transmissions from the party that went to the Lost Colony, and plays it, and they listen to a description of a strange device (figure it out-- this is the device that the BOOK wants to strap Tony in so that it can do the Ritual) and then screams. Flick is like, you know everything she told you is real, think about how we need more power if we are ever going to Make our Colony Great Again. Anatole knows that Flick is a manipulator and answers to Florence and does not understand why he would purposefully add to his mistrust of her. He says this, and then beats Flick into the ground for being an untrustworthy rat and messing with his mind. Anatole’s mind turns to rebellion against Florence. He goes to Jules’s house to find Dog (bc Jules and Dog like each other). Marty is there, talking to his little friend Ayda. Anatole finds Dog and Jules, the witch, and straight up asks them if they would support him against Florence if she has gone off the deep end.

4) It is Bomb Day. 7 years ago, in the morning, a group called the UPLF (United People’s Liberation Front) detonated bombs across Eden, leaving 5000 people dead and countless more injured. That same day, Kip Nguyen was arrested and killed (along with 21 other collaborators) for his involvement, despite his innocence. Kassidy can’t think of a better day to bring her brother back from the dead. It seems symbolic to her. The news is broadcasting all kinds of memorials, it is a highly emotional day. Kassidy empties her bank account and buys 153 pounds of meat (correlating to Kip’s weight when he was 18) She reflects on how if she had not been fired from the hospital, she could have taken a human corpse, but according to the Book, flesh is good enough as long as you have DNA from the person you are trying to bring back (Kip’s hair and his toothbrush and his ashes).. Kassidy does some kind of fucked up shit in her room to prepare this ritual that I will figure out later after some more research into necromancy. She has black slime ichor she bought from one of Tabby’s sources on the black market. She cuts herself and loses a lot of blood because a large component of the ritual is sacrifice. Kip’s jacket is there as an emotional connection, since he wore it all the time and loved it. In the background, the news is playing. It is talking about Kip (and the other UPLF terrorists who were caught), how he was a terrible person, blah blah blah. Kassidy lets the BOOK’s power fill her body, letting it have control. She starts talking in the language of the VOID. She completes the ritual.The flesh, the blood, and the black slime come together to form a crawling, whimpering thing but it is not Kip, Kassidy does not know what it is. For a moment she has hope that she brought him back, no matter how disgusting and fucked up, but it isn’t him. The disgusting form squirms in a repulsive, stinking heap. She failed. Kassidy is full of rage and hurt, hating herself for what she perceives to be weakness and failure (JK Kip is alive and that’s why it didn’t work, there was no soul to yank back into the body). She screams and starts wrecking her bedroom. Casey, the only person who was in the house, comes in and sees what she has done and is horrified by it, horrified by what Kassidy has done, horrified by the crawling crying abomination. Kassidy yells at her, telling her to get out, get out, she hates her. She ‘kills’ the barely alive squirming meat monster with blood magic in a very brutal, angry way.The TV has a picture of Kip’s face on it and she knocks it over. Casey holds Kassidy, and in her grief and rage Kassidy hits her again and again, but Casey still holds her. For the first time in years, possibly for the first time since Kip’s death, Kassidy begins to cry. Casey keeps holding her. She picks up Kip’s jacket and puts it on. He is gone. There is nothing she can do about that.

5) Smiles has just been punished and he doesn’t know why. He’s in pain and just wants to lie down. He walks in on Nickels and Pete acting a little too touchy feely and snaps at Pete, telling her that she’s acting irresponsible, taking advantage of someone younger than her, and putting Nickels in danger because of her pyrokinesis. Nickels tells him that she doesn’t understand why everyone else can get what they want and she has to be alone. Smiles asks her if she would think the same thing if he allowed Johnny to act on his crush on him. Nickels says it’s different and they get in a fight, culminating in Nickes going inside of his mind and ripping out a memory of Smiles when he was a child, in some sort of juvenile facility, being bullied and physically hurt by the other kids. Smiles attacks her, tells her that he hates psychics, that he hates people who go into other people’s heads without asking. Nickels fights back, asking if he still thought she was too helpless to make her own choices. Pete gets them apart and yells at Smiles. Smiles stomps off and nearly runs into a completely ordinary, frumpy woman named Silas. Silas asks him what the matter is. Smiles is terrified of this woman, he doesn’t understand why she is on the dormitory floors. This is the big boss, Smiles knows that she is behind everything and is the reason that his life is shitty and he suffers all the time. For a second, he lets himself fantasize about killing her, but knows that the punishment he and his team would face would be long and brutal. Silas says that she’s there to see BG, but she is acting very nice and  kind towards Smiles. She offers him a piece of candy and he does not take it. They have a weird, scary conversation that Smiles doesn’t entirely get but he starts to feel like his time is coming to an end and does not want to give them the satisfaction of killing him, but also does not want to kill himself.  

6) The gang holds an intervention for Kassidy LOL. Some people take this more seriously than others. Tabby runs the whole thing because she says that she has a lot of practice having interventions for Tony and for her mom. Very funny moment where Ayda is like “So were those interventions successful?” and Tabby is like “Uh. No.” All the bad things Kassidy has done while using blood magic get laid out in front of her-- getting fired from her job, eating everything in the fridge, getting sick, losing weight, smelling like she is rotting,, dragging 150 pounds of meat into her room (nobody but Casey know why she did that though). Everyone tells her that they care about her and are worried about her and want her to stop using blood magic, they say she can keep doing her research. It seems like everyone has figured out that Kassidy has been pouring herself into this stuff to feel a sense of control, except for Kassidy. However, Kassidy was raised by an addict and starts squirming her way out of trouble and turning it back on everyone else LOL. She is honestly such a bitch and is like, well, if you guys are so worried about me, why aren’t you worried about Rosie, huh? And laying out everything that seems weird about the Rosaline situation, the being missing for days, the sickness, the obviously being experimented on by evil scientists thing. Kassidy is really trying to deflect from her own behavior, very classic. Too bad Rosie is a very solid, honest person. She and Esther kind of look at each other and then Rosie is like “OK…” and transforms into this monster thing. AND EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW EXCEPT FOR KASSIDY bc Rosie doesn’t fucking hide shit unless she doesn’t want to stress someone out more. Rosie is like “Yeah, this is a whole thing, sorry I should have told you but the government is doing some fucked up things to people and they did this to me, I didn’t want to bother you because it seems like you're really going through something right now.” And Kassidy just thinks about how she is literally the only person in the group who does not have some kind of Ability and/or is Artificial. She feels determined to keep using blood magic even if it can’t bring Kip back, because it makes her feel better about herself. 

7) Sashi goes to work. She has been watching the news like crazy, working hard, submitting more evidence of corporate corruption in Eden. Because of her promotion to Detective Superintendent,  she is making more money, and she and her wife Kelsey are going to try for a baby. Sashi feels happy. As she is working, Dana Nguyen calls her into her office. Dana looks fucking rough, she hasn’t been taking care of herself. In Dana’s office, we see a family photograph of her and her dead wife Harry and their children, and Sashi looks at it and feels a moment of pity for this woman, because she can’t imagine losing a partner or a child, even a child who was a terrorist lol. Dana is like, you’ve been working hard, I see. They talk about what Sashi has worked on, all the surveillance and all the numbers crunched. Dana tells her that she agrees with what she has been working on, that she also believes that people like West should not have the kind of power that they have. But then she says that she does not believe that the government of Eden should have that power either. Sashi is like...what are you talking about? Dana gets angrier and angrier as she talks, saying stuff that Sashi doesn’t understand, about always being watched, about how her life has been destroyed. She has been drinking. Dana is like, I remember you were involved in the police union with my wife, all those years ago. Sashi is like, “yeah, Harry, before she killed herself.” And Dana’s face grows cold. Dana is like, “so remind me how you got promoted’ and stupid, truthful Sashi tells her about the day Silas came to her office and talked to her, and talks about how she knows Silas is some kind of high ranking official and how grateful she is to her because now she can finally start a family . And then Dana is like, ‘go pack up your stuff. You’re fired.’ There’s this terrible shock, Sashi is like “WHAT?” Dana repeats herself. Sashi tells her that she can’t do that, and Dana tells her that she can do whatever she wants. Sashi doesn’t understand, feels lost and confused and angry and hurt, having just worked so hard only to get cut down for no reason. Dana is like, “You don’t understand, but I’m helping you. I’m protecting you. Get a new job, do anything you want, just get out of here.” Sashi leaves, feeling numb and betrayed. She passes by chief of staff Vega Pelenato and sees her go into Dana’s office behind her. Sashi remembers everything that she heard about Vega’s dual loyalties and can’t help but wonder if Dana is in West’s pockets as well. She starts to firmly believe that West is paying off Dana and endeavoring to maintain control of the private sector as Nationalization closes in on his corporation. It feels like there is nobody who Sashi can go to, since Dana is at the top of everything. There’s nothing she can do. She thinks about Silas again. Hurt and betrayed, Sashi requests a grievance report from HR and fills it out against Dana.

8) Death Squad spends a shift on surveillance outside of the main gang’s house. They are all very bored and slaphappy because this is a boring mission. They talk about why they were assigned this mission: to drag Rosaline back to the Research and Development floors if it even looks like she’s about to go into hiding. Our goons all think that any Research and Development project is automatically disgusting but they have not been given any information on Rosaline other than to watch her. Smiles watches Kassidy (who is…..wearing Kip’s jacket, sob sob sob) through the sights of his rifle and doesn’t feel anything other than curiosity, because he knows that this girl was at the blood magic church. A staff member radios them to tell them that their location is changed and that they need to go observe the AGA owned warehouse that West keeps his trucks parked in. Smiles is like “what, why?” and staff is “big things are about to go down, we need to know about movement, weapons, etc”. They get their stuff and travel through the secret little corridors that are all over Eden. Tension between Pete and Smiles. Smiles’s bad leg is troubling him. They pass by one of the secret ways out of Eden, more of a hatch than anything else. Smiles opens it and they look outside at the world. Smiles is like, what if we just left. Pete tells him that’s not funny. Smiles is like they’re going to kill us all anyways, but deep down inside he knows that there is only one way he knows how to live and that’s in the program. Very helpless scene bc even though they’re all in this bad situation, none of them would dare escape. But they look, for a moment. Suddenly BG teleports in and is like wtf are you people doing? Smiles is like “are they fucking keeping eyes on us or something? Is Lady fucking surveilling us?” BG is like uh yeah obviously you people aren’t trustworthy and now she has a connection to your telepath. Someone tells him something over his radio. BG is like, “I gotta take your psychic back to HQ”. The Squad protests. BG tells them they don’t need Nickels for the rest of the mission. Nickels is like BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. BG is like, yeah but you were thinking it. You thought about it. And grabs her and teleports her out, presumably to be punished for Thought-Crime ™. Pete tells Smiles this is his fault, he is always messing around and getting the rest of them in trouble, he is supposed to protect them. She keeps going. Smiles looks outside again, at the outside world. He asks Johnny if he thinks he is failing to protect them all, if he thinks that he has not done enough to keep them safe. Johnny says no, of course not, and that he knows Smiles is doing everything he can (OW….) Smiles closes the hatch to the outside and hits a hand hard against his own leg.

9) SECOND DR. B CHAPTER, FIGURE IT OUT. Dr. B is troubled by Yancey’s unwillingness to take the only surviving subject of their project in, but he says that it’s better to observe for now. After all, the other living subject from 7 years ago is out living his life. Dr. B tells him that was a mistake and that he should have been terminated. They argue about this in Dr. B’s laboratory. She is worried about her daughter’s connection to the subject. Data has been submitted to Silas. Yancey says that information should have been kept private, but Dr. B keeps nothing from Silas. IDK IDK IDK

10)  Kassidy realizes that there is nothing for her at home and she has nothing to lose. Kassidy is hungry, so hungry. She goes outside at night and wanders around, wondering if she has lost her mind. She comes across one of the slime creatures and kills it easily with blood magic. Hunger overcomes Kassidy. She ravenously eats the gelatinous body of the creature, and for a while her hunger is sated, but she is horrified by her own behavior. This is usually that moment where someone thinks about how they need help, but Kassidy knows at this point there is nobody who can help her. She just kind of sits there, disgusting, black slime all over her face and hands. Kassidy thinks about calling her mom. There is only one person she knows who knows about this and she calls him. Cihad picks up. Kassidy is like, I’m sorry, I know you hate me, but I don’t know who else can help me. Eternal savior complex guy that he is, Cihad gives Kassidy his address and tells her to come to his house. She rides the subway, thinking about how she is going to probably die soon and wonders if she is OK with that. She arrives at Cihad’s house. It seems so nice and normal. Cihad tells her that she is slowly killing herself, that most people’s bodies cannot handle blood magic. Kassidy says she feels like it’s something more than that. She can feel the BOOK nearby. She asks him where he got it and Cihad carefully says that he has always had it. She’s like, you’re from the town from up North that was destroyed, aren’t you. He says he is. He says that she has to stop using blood magic and tells her that 2 years ago, he watched someone he cared about a lot die a slow, painful death because of this same thing. Kassidy tells him that it isn’t that simple. Deep conversation. Cihad is very different when he is out of boss mode. Then, a child who is presumably Cihad’s/Tony’s daughter and….something….come into the living room. The thing is one of the horrible slime aliens, and it can fucking talk in a human voice and calls Cihad ‘dad’. Kassidy reacts in horror, realizing that Cihad is up to some really dark shit, worse than anything she can imagine, if he is treating one of those things, the same kind of thing that tormented Esther for years, as his child. She’s like, you’re a cultist, you came from that place and infiltrated Eden and brought the BOOK here, you’re evil, this is all your fault, you did this to me, blah blah blah. Cihad, with his terrible red eyes, comforting the little disgusting slime alien that is scared of Kassidy, says “Don’t go. Please. I want to help you.” And Kassidy says “I don’t want your help” and stumbling, runs out.

11) The gang realizes that they are in trouble after Tabby discovers hidden cameras in their home-- this has to do with the Rosaline plot. We really see that Rosie is dealing with her monstrous new nature much better than Kassidy/we see the parallel. Esther receives a summons from the court because her mom is trying to get her committed (Dr. Bellamy trying to control her daughter but in her own way, trying to protect her bc she is aware that danger that is about to come down bc she works with Yancey). Esther is like no no no, I’m not going back to the hospital, there’s nothing wrong with me. Somehow (no idk how right now because I am stupid) the Rosie stuff gets bigger stakes. Kassidy is the first one to suggest they leave Eden— she feels no connection anyways and wants to see the Lost Colony and CT’s town/the black pyramid. They discuss Marty’s vision of seeing them with him in his Colony. Discussion of pros and cons of leaving that somehow ends up with the majority saying they want to go. Some people (Ayda, Tabby) take more convincing than others. Tabby wants more money and Casey promises her a crazy amount of cash when they get back, she promises Tabby anything she wants. Some (Tony especially lol) want to get far, far away. The saddest thing is that we see that Marty is very excited at the prospect, even though his friends are in danger, and we see how desperately he wants to have real human contact and connection.

12) Preparing to leave Eden. Asking West for one of his trucks. We find out that West has been in contact with people in the North, bypassing Eden’s restrictions with the help of his technopath Percy. West has a lot of foster kids and says some bullshit about wanting to keep them safe from something. Kassidy finds West sinister. She overhears him asking Casey what’s wrong with her/asking her if she’s sick and Casey says something hurtful about Kassidy just looking like that/being ugly (OW but Casey is not tactful and not the best liar). Kassidy doesn’t know why she feels hurt by this, she has always...accepted that she will never be pretty (ow this hurts I feel it). Kassidy goes into the fancy bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror, at how dull her skin has become, the dark circles under her eyes, the weight she has lost, her teeth turning grey and brittle. She looks ugly now. But she thinks, maybe, she hadn’t been so ugly before, even though she had felt that way about herself. Kassidy scrubs at her face. She looks in the mirror. She sees a flash of...of something else. A flash of the planet eating unholy thing that for a long time, she has suspected has been living inside of her body. She recoils in disgust, but what is she supposed to do? She leaves the bathroom to go sit with Esther and Rosie. She asks Rosie how she’s doing, with the whole...being a monster thing. Rosie says that she isn’t a monster and that nothing could make her act in ways that go against her values, no matter what her body has become, no matter what anyone has done to her. It’s frustrating to hear that, because Kassidy feels helpless. She gets up and wanders around, feeling the urge to use blood magic but having to reason to do so. She thinks about the Lost Colony. Are they really doing this? Some of her friends have no skin in this game, and she wonders why they would even decide to put themselves in danger. The Lost Colony. The Lost Colony. Bodies, being in the wrong bodies. Kassidy feels like there is something so wrong with her body. 

13) Preparing to leave Eden. IDK, this is just like….a logistics chapter…...lol…..a beat of calm nothingness before the climax.

14) The gang packs up and gets into one of West’s trucks. Most of them hide in the back. This should be normal, after all, AGA ships things to the neighboring Colonies of Green River and Serenity all the time. Tabby and Casey in the front, everyone else in the back. Kassidy can feel the thing inside of her grow excited, like it wants to leave Eden. She starts getting sick, leaking black goo from her mouth and ears. They arrive at Eden’s entrance and there is a checkpoint. Secret police. They start asking Tabby questions, Tabby says that they can look at the schedule and that it says that they have prior permission for this shipment. Ayda and Tony start panicking because they can psychically feel that it’s over and they know what’s up. Smiles tells them that there’s a new law and that there are to be no more shipments to or from Eden. He tells them that he knows there are people in the back of the truck and tells them that they’re all under arrest for human trafficking and orders them all out of the truck. They all get out, line up. Vague menacing energy from the Death Squad psychos. Everyone is terrified that they’re about to get shot in the street, especially Kassidy, who has a horrible fear of these people. Scary moment where one of them is like  “Hey, aren’t these those people we were running ops on the other day???” One of them (it’s Nickels lol what a bitch) starts to harass Kassidy, saying that she looks sick and saying that she’s a blood magic user aka shoot on sight, and starts to get rough with Kassidy. Casey is the first one to go ballistic and attack (Casey vs Nickels and Pete, Esther vs Smiles, Rosie vs JVP). Tony pulls Kassidy back into the truck with Ayda, Marty gets into the system to try and force the gates open idk anything about technology I will figure out how later.. Kassidy uses blood magic to incapacitate Pete (because we literally can’t have someone who can incinerate everyone in this fight lol) and this seems to piss the rest of them off. Gate starts to open. Rosaline transforms and beats the shit out of JVP and his helmet gets knocked off and she realizes that this is a 15/16 year old child and is like UH GUYS….Cihad shows up huffing and puffing in his scrubs and crocs out of nowhere, yelling at Smiles and co to stand down and is like WAIT STOP STOP, and this throws them off a little bit. Smiles crushes Esther’s arm in a bubble after she shocks him. Gate opens more, everyone gets in the truck and Tabby starts to floor it. Cihad starts using blood magic to pull them back. Tony is losing his fucking mind, like we have to get out, we have to go, we have to go! They really are all gonna die. This is scary. Kassidy uses her last ounce of strength to lash out with blood magic against Cihad and his hold on the truck is broken. We see in his face that he knows that the Entity is living inside of her body (THIS IS THE REAL REASON HE WAS TRYING TO KEEP THEM FROM LEAVING). Kassidy passes out and stops breathing, her heart stops beating,  and Casey gives her CPR to save her life and ends up snapping her few ribs.

15) Smiles is taken to a room and is interviewed by Silas about how he fucked up and how he failed and how he is stupid and how he sucks. Getting shocked has jarred something loose in his mind, not a memory, but a clarity about a piece of himself that he has protected for all these years-- his sense of self is conflicted. Smiles is thinking oh boy, this is it, she’s about to tell me I’m getting Retired. But nobody ever gets a warning for that. He straight up asks Silas if this is it, if this is the end. Silas tells him no, no, she needs him (IMPLY THIS IS FOR MORE THAN JUST USING HIM AS A TOOL). Smiles fucking SNITCHES and is like, “You know Doc was there, right? He knew about those people and was trying to stop them. Did you know about that? Did you know he uses blood magic? That’s why you can’t pick him up on all your little cameras, isn’t it? Well he is trying to fuck you hard.” (Until this point we were unaware of CT’s involvement with Silas and the secret police too….uh oh Cihad is a mysterious bad guy) And Silas tells him to get out. Smiles returns to his dorm, and it’s clear that his team all thought they were never going to see him again. Heartwarming reactions from Nickels and JVP to show how much they truly love and were worried about Smiles. Pete isn’t disappointed but she had been amping herself up to be team leader lol. Smiles thinks about the outside world and thinks about the people who just got out of Eden. He remembers the things that have been done to him. He remembers the things that have been done to his little family. He tells them all that he isn’t going to let them die here. He can’t lose them. The ID of the woman Kassidy Nguyen is still hidden in his room. He looks at it and to his horror, he feels some kind of familiarity and believes that he must have known her before joining the program. He tosses the ID to Pete and asks her to burn it. Pete does so. 

16) Some random loser journalist named Lee Harlan is bored and depressed and his life sucks. He has chronic horrific migraines and scars at his hairline. He thinks about different stories he could write and really doesn’t have much inspiration. Just a normal guy. Then he goes to sleep and goes into a VOID hallucination where he is tormented by a version of a 13 year old Marty who he beats to death with a rock, he just starts bashing him over and over while Marty calls him a pervert and a creep and he says that he is not. He sees 18 year old Kip who is like, you killed me, you killed me, you killed me. “No I didn’t, I didn’t know what was going to happen, it wasn’t my fault!” He sees Kip getting shot in the face over and over again. He ‘wakes up’ but he is still in the Void. He can’t get out. It’s like this every time he goes to sleep. He wakes up for real and tries to kill himself by slitting his wrists. It doesn’t work. It never works, he always just heals. Pain and guilt. Nothing matters. There is nothing that matters. Lee turns on the news and sees that a bunch of people were shot for trying to get out of Eden. He sees their faces on the news as Police Commissioner Dana Nguyen talks about the incident in a way that is very broken lol. He knows this isn’t real. Lee does some bullshit smart person internet thing that I will think up later because I am stupid and he finds traces of Marty. And suddenly….Lee does not want to die any more.

17) The gang rides down the road in the truck together, shaken by what has happened. There is a 10 hour trip in front of them and none of them have been outside of Eden, this is exhilarating and terrifying. Kassidy is barely conscious and in pain. Technically she just died, her heart had stopped beating, only brought back by the simultaneously violent and loving act of CPR. She is slipping away and nobody is noticing. She is gently held by Tony. She has memories of Cathy, a person she never met, because the Book has memories of Cathy. Kassidy realizes that they have made a mistake by leaving Eden, this is what the thing inside of her wants, it wants to get out. It wants to go back to the Lost Colony and has been making her interested in that place the whole time. She tries to say this but is unable to. Kassidy fully slips away. The Book is in control now. It sits up, despite the injuries in its body and the harm it is doing to Kassidy. IT TAKES OFF KIP’S JACKET. It tells Tony that it is hungry and asks him if he has anything to eat. And from far, far away, Kassidy sees Tony realize that it is fully in control.

[hbhughes]

Rev. Anita J. Ambrose

Rev. Anita J. Ambrose, 88, of Jenkins Township, passed away at her home on Saturday, Jan. 30, 2021.

She was born in Lehman on Sunday, April 10, 1932, the daughter of the late William and Jane Evans Ambrose. She resided in Lehman, Plymouth, Kingston and Jenkins Township. She was a member of the Welsh Baptist Church, Plymouth. She was employed for 28 years as the executive director of the Wyoming Valley Council of Churches, prior to retirement. She served on many boards and committees within the Wyoming Valley before retirement.

She attended grade school in Lehman until fifth grade, then later attended and graduated from Plymouth High School Class of 1950. Anita then went to Baptist Institute for Christian Workers, Philadelphia, Ellen Cushing Junior College, Bryn Mawr, and Eastern Baptist College & Seminary, Philadelphia. She also received higher education credits from Penn State University, Eastern Baptist Seminary, Wilkes University and Luzerne County Community College.

Anita was ordained into Christian Ministry on Nov. 29, 1981, in American Baptist Denomination. She served as an assistant to pastors at Wilkensburg Baptist Church, Pittsburgh, and Drexel Hill Baptist Church, Drexel Hill. Anita served as office manager at PA Baptist Convention, Philadelphia. She served as an executive director at Wyoming Valley Council of Churches from 1967 to 1992 and pastor at 1st Welsh Baptist Church, Plymouth from 1992 to 2017.

She was very active in her community and was a member of the following boards and committees: United Ministry in Higher Education, Disaster Committee of Northeastern PA, Boy Scout Committee of Northeastern PA, Chaplain, Protestant Boy Scouts, West Side Blood Council, Meals on Wheels Board, Dial-A-Driver Board, Vision Board, Migrant Committee Board, Public Issues, Family Service Association, Economic Development Council, Shelter Coalition of United Way of Wyoming Valley, Visiting Nurse Advisory Board, Pastoral Advisory Board, Heinz Rehab, Campus Ministry of N.E.P.A., Plymouth Cambrian Board President, Shawnee Senior Citizens, President Brooks Estates, Wesley Village, President Advisory Board and Blue Shield/Blue Cross.

Anita was the Treasurer of the Plymouth Ministerium & President, Shepherd of the Street of the Street Board, and Interfaith Foundation Committee. The night chaplain at Wilkes-Barre General Hospital, Nesbitt Hospital and Nanticoke Hospital.

She was nominated for the Humanitarian Award in 1986. Anita was Awarded the Ecumenical Award by the National Council of Churches, 1984, Woman of the Year by Junior Women's Club of Wyoming Valley and by the Business & Professional Women of Wyoming Valley; as well as the Excellence in Ministry Award, 2002.

She is preceded along with her parents by her brother, Rev. Dr. W. Haydn Ambrose.

She is survived by her niece, Diana Ball and Nancy Gallagher, both of Michigan, nephews, Ross Ambrose, of Florida, and Brian Ambrose, of Michigan; and one great-nephew, friend and caregiver, Terri Cease.

Family and friends are asked to call from 4 to 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 3rd, at the Hugh B. Hughes & Son Inc. Funeral Home, 1044 Wyoming Ave., Forty Fort.

Funeral service will be held at 2 p.m. on Thursday, Feb. 4, at the funeral home with Rev. John Shypuleski and Rev. Carol Coleman officiating. The Interment will be in Oaklawn Cemetery, Hanover Township. We will be following CDC guidelines.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donation may be made to the First Welsh Baptist Church, 168 Girard Ave., Plymouth, PA 18704 or the Tambur Family NICU at Geisinger, 1000 East Mountain Blvd., Wilkes-Barre, PA 18702.

The family would like to thank the staff at Compassus Hospice Care for their excellent care.

[mahometchristian]

Golda Rosalyn Lackey

Bertram High School Graduation-May 1956

Golda Rosalyn Lackey passed away on Thursday December 3, 2020 at the age of 83 years old.

Golda Rosalyn Williams (Rosalyn) was born to Murray W. and Geneva Alta (Brizendine) Williams on September 24, 1937 at 12:05 o’clock Friday morning, at home on the Williams’ homestead, Bertram, Texas. Rosalyn’s nurses at birth were Grandmother Williams, Aunt Gladys and Aunt Thelma. Golda Rosalyn was named after her aunt Golda Brizendine. Rosalyn’s first steps were taken between Geneva and Eldon, her brother, at one year of age. Not surprising to anyone, Rosalyn’s first word was NO and her tendency to be too loud in church started at a young age, when she cried for some of the communion loaf being served. Rosalyn’s second haircut was at 4 years of age. According to her mother Geneva, documented in her baby book, Rosalyn looked into the mirror at her haircut and said she looked like “a horse’s ass”.

Rosalyn was a strong student while attending Bertram area schools (Grammar-8yrs, High School-4 yrs), excelling in many areas: Student Council, Annual Staff Business Manager (3 years), School Newspaper Editor, Basketball Letterwoman (3 years), Basketball Captain, Volleyball Letterwoman (4 years), District First Place in Typing and Volleyball, English and Commercial Who’s Who, Pep Squad Drummer, Salutatorian and being awarded a college scholarship.

Rosalyn met the love of her life, Walter Lee Lackey, early. As a child, Rosalyn complained about having to share her Bertram birthday party on each September 24th with Walt, who was born on the same day, a year earlier. Evidently, by high school, Rosalyn had a change of heart about Walt. The couple began dating in 1950, started going steady on March 21, 1953 and became engaged while Rosalyn was a high school senior, on April 16, 1955. The couple ultimately married on Murray’s birthday December 27, 1955. By that time, Walt was already serving as an Airman, Third Class, with the U.S. Air Force stationed at Lackland Air Force Base; the newlywed couple settled into their first home at 326 Madison, Apartment 4, San Antonio.

Rosalyn decided against college, but instead welcomed the role as a stay at home mom (until 1976), birthing four high energy, Type A, very individual children: Randy 1957, Princess 1959, Terri 1961 and Walt Jr. 1966. Rosalyn and Walt lived the longest in Austin, Beaumont and Pasadena, Texas, while raising their children, supported by careers with Southwestern Bell Telephone Company (SWBT). Rosalyn retired from SWBT in 1991 as a Supervisor.

Upon the passing of Rosalyn’s much-loved parents in 1993, Rosalyn and Walt moved to the Williams’ Ranch and there they built a homestead, living in close proximity to her sister Glynda (husband Robert) and her brother Eldon Williams. Both Walt and Rosalyn lived on the ranch until their deaths. Rosalyn attended Mahomet Christian Church (est. 1851), was a fabulous cook, a devoted spouse/parent/grandparent/great-grandparent, professional seamstress and Rose loved, loved her ranch. Everyone will miss Rosalyn’s strong, fiery personality and the fact she called the “shots” exactly as she saw them, no matter what anyone else thought. John Davenport, her Pastor, lovingly called Rosalyn “feisty and faithful”.

Rosalyn was a fierce pillar in her community. Rosalyn was a dedicated donor to the Bertram Library Thrift Shop, a Master Gardener/trainer and was very proud to have revived the Burnet County Fair in 2010. In nonpublic, private ways, Rosalyn often reached out to families in need, many of them immigrants, needing work, financial assistance, help with work permits/VISAS and being an advocate for their precious children in the school system. The family has enjoyed many years of connection with these hardworking families, who have been successful, in a large part, due to Rosalyn’s assistance.

The family would like to thank Neurologist Darshan Shah and his nurse Charee, R Bank, Cindy Pesina, Christa Noland, Dr. Burkhardt (including her office staff) and Seton/Compassus Hospice, specifically Tim Denton, Amy Clegg and Mo.

Rosalyn lived every single day of her life to the fullest and was loved. We are comforted knowing that Walt and Rosalyn will be reunited, and we look forward to seeing them again, in God’s timing.

Those wishing to celebrate Rosalyn’s life are invited to attend a Visitation at the Clements-Wilcox Funeral Home, 306 E Polk Street on Sunday, December 6, 2020 from 2pm until 4pm. In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to either the 1) Burnet County Area Fair, P.O.Box 163, Bertram, Texas 78605; 2) Friends of the Bertram Library, 170 S Gabriel Street, Bertram, Texas 78605; 3) Highland Lakes Master Gardener Association, 607 N Vandeveer Street, Suite 100, Burnet, Texas 78611.

                                                           -30-

[daddysfavouriteboytoy]

Wayne O’Pry

Name: Wayne O’Pry Age: 32 Birthday: 7th of September Gender: Male Sexuality: closet Pansexual Species: Human Ethnic: Irish Appearance: (Face-claim: Jake Gyllenhaal)

Clothing: Wayne prefers to wear comfortable clothes which are more often than not either modern or timeless. Height: 1,92 m Weight: 80,9 kg Personality: Wayne is an excellent manager of day-to-day tasks and routine maintenance, enjoying making sure that those who are close to him are well cared for, especially his kids. Since he’s alone with his children his sense of responsibility and duty increased a lot and he even grew quite overprotective of them. At the same time, he’s warm-hearted, affectionate, complimentary, loving and tends to put the needs of others over his own. Wayne values relationships and his family over economically success, as well as appreciating stability and security very highly, which makes him extremely loyal and trustworthy as relative, partner and friend. These qualities come together to make him social, comfortable and well-liked. Wayne has a strong need to “belong”, and has no problem with small talk or following social cues in order to help him take an active role in the community. These strengths are related to a main weakness: His preoccupation with social status and influence, which affects many decisions he makes, potentially limiting his open-mindedness at times. The man may also sometimes push his own beliefs too hard in an effort to establish them as mainstream. It can be especially challenging to change these tendencies because Wayne is so conflict-averse. He can become very defensive and hurt if someone, especially a person close to him, criticizes his habits, beliefs or traditions. Whenever Wayne is down he needs positive reinforcement to feel good about himself again, he needs to hear and see a great deal of appreciation and if he doesn’t get it, Wayne is known for inconspicuously compliment-fishing. On other side, Wayne sometimes tries to establish his value with doting attention, especially his children or close friends, something that can quickly overwhelm those who don’t need it, making it ultimately unwelcome. Furthermore, the man often neglects his own needs in the process. Therefore, it is quite easy to take advantage of Wayne. Relationships: Stella O’Pry – mother; 59 years old; English professor; married; alive Timothy O’Pry – father; 65 years old; retired; married; alive Jessica Peterson – younger sister; 29 years old; kindergarten teacher; married; alive Dustin Alex Peterson – brother-in-law; 35 years old; trucker; married; alive Jeannie O’Pry – wife; 30 years old; nurse; married; deceased Dean O’Pry – son; 6 years old; student; single; alive Ebony Jeannie O’Pry – daughter; 11 months old; -; single; alive Likes: his kids, taking care of people, compliments, AC/DC, hard rock, Guns ‘n Roses, watching football, reading to his kids, black and white movies, going to the beach Dislikes: loneliness, strangers talking to/about his kids, the taste of strong alcohol, having to be nice to rude clients, people thinking he’s bad at parenting because he’s a man/people telling he needs a wife for his kids, leaving his kids alone even when it’s only for a few minutes, cactuses, talking about his past wife, tattoos, the singles women of his son’s friends flirting with him (throwing themselves at him) Hobbies: drawing, painting, surfing, kick boxing, reading to his kids, playing badminton, playing cards with his son, taking walks in the nearby park with his children Occupation: Graphic Designer Position: Switch, mostly tops Virgin: No Turn-ons: a bit of roleplaying, hickeys, lingerie, pet names, blowjobs, public teasing Turn-offs: orgasm denial, choking, threesomes, degrading, daddy kink, acting childish Other:

owns two Holland lop, a brown one called Lucy and a white one called Sammy

is a vegetarian but still cooks meals with meat for his children

has always painkillers and band-aids with him whenever he goes out

is prone to easily get headaches when the weather changes

basically lives off coffee

Backstory: Wayne had a normal childhood, his parents showered him in love whenever they could and paid for everything he ever wanted, after all, he was their only child. That was until three years later his mother was pregnant again. Even though his parents couldn’t spend as much time with him as before, the boy was still just as excited to get a younger sibling as his parents were. To be honest, getting a sibling was the young boy’s secret but at the same time biggest wish come true. Although all the other kids in kindergarten seemed to always complain about their younger brothers and sisters, Wayne always thought they were exaggerating. He imagined, having someone to play with, tease, protected and most importantly blame all the silly things he did on, very nice and enjoyable. Not that his parents weren’t great playmates, they were just so boring sometimes with all their work and chores. A few months later it was finally the day his father and he visited his mother in the hospital and got to finally see the new baby. Not to lie, Wayne was a bit disappointed that his sibling was a girl, however, the euphoria was too much and kept him from sulking over the baby being a girl. At first, it was nothing like the young boy imagined it to have a sibling, as soon as his mother and sister came home, the baby was crying the whole time and kept the whole family awake during the night. To the family’s dismay, this didn’t change till Jessica was eventually around three and got her own room. During the next few years, the young girl grew a lot quieter while Wayne used his change to drag her along on each of his adventures in the neighbours’ gardens or the small nearby woods. The two kids often came back home with dirty clothes and scratched faces from running into twigs on their way through the “witches’ forest”, how the two kids liked to call it. Unfortunately, their fun soon had to stop because Wayne had to go to middle school and during those years he had to study a lot more than throughout his elementary school years. The normally so energetic boy began to spend more time in his room, doing homework, studying and sometimes drawing to pass the time when he was not in the mood for schoolwork. The thoughts of exploring the forest with his sister vanished and were replaced by the worries to live up to his parents’ new expectations of him. His best friend and school were the only reasons why he even left the house anymore. However, the boy who was once his closest friend had to move away when their first year of high school started. It seemed like Wayne was about to fall into a low-level depression. This was until he met Jeannie, the geeky but cute girl which sat next to him during the Mathematics, Physic and English lessons. At first, they only ever talked whenever one of them needed to borrow a pen or a piece of paper but soon they realized, they actually had a lot in common. Soon the two began spending more and more time together and Jeannie managed to get Wayne out of the house and introduced him to all of his friends and new opportunities. Once again, Wayne hung out with other people and pushed school a bit aside, of course still studying but just not as much anymore. At the same time, thanks to his new friends, Wayne found his passion for digital art and already decided to become a graphic designer during his sophomore year of high school. Also, a bit of a romance started to develop between Jeannie and Wayne throughout their last few high school years. Even though it took not quite a year and a half and a lot of help from his friends, the blonde boy eventually asked his crush out, who immediately accepted and told him, it took long enough to make the first move. After high school, Wayne went off to college where he wanted to study for his, still, dream job, graphic designer while Jeannie started working at her sister’s boutique in their hometown, being six hours away from each other. Neither his girlfriend nor he broke things off after their senior year, the two young adults had a long-distance relationship in which one of them always visited the other when they had time for a few days. Obviously, it was complicated for the both of them but they surprisingly managed to keep a steady relationship, at least, until Jeannie got pregnant after her boyfriend’s last visit. Even though Wayne didn’t graduate from college at that time, the young man was certain, he had learned enough to find a job, he moved back to his hometown in which his girlfriend was waiting for him. The two moved in together and Wayne began working for the town’s newspaper-agency as a photographer. The birth was not as bad as Wayne and Jeannie thought it would be, their baby boy was breathing and even though his girlfriend was exhausted, she was okay as well. A month later, the baby and the two young parents were at home, Jeannie cared for their son and decided to be a stay-at-home-mother while Wayne’s dad, who worked as an author since he retired, managed to get his son a few clients needing someone, who could design them a good-looking book cover. Slowly but surely Wayne made enough money to quit his old job and started his new self-employed career as a graphic designer. Life was good and everything went fine, so Wayne proposed to Jeannie, obviously, she said yes. The wedding was soon because the couple didn’t want to waste any more time, after all, they didn’t get any younger and both were sure to be soulmates. The event was big with all their friends, family and relatives were invited. At the same everything was beautifully decorated in white and light-blue. The night was just as exciting as the day and Jeannie got pregnant again. The pregnancy was fine until the birth, the baby’s head was too big and the child was stuck. Jeannie needed to have a C-section. This was where it went wrong, some of the surgical tools weren’t as sterile as they should be and Jeannie got a dangerous infection. At first, nobody noticed anything and the couple was just happy to see the beautiful face of their daughter. Unfortunately, the mother got a fever not too long after the operation, at first doctors thought it was only something harmless and gave her some drugs to calm the fever down. However, nothing seemed to work and while the baby was ready to leave the hospital with his father, the mother still had to stay because her conditions only seemed to worsen. Jeannie died not too long after on the infection, which was only found out when it was already too late. Wayne decided against suing the hospital, it wouldn’t make his wife come back from the dead and at least they managed to save his daughter during the birth. Since this tragic day, Wayne had to care for his children alone, only his sister-in-law is sometimes taking care of the kids whenever he has a longer meeting with a client.

Starter

[feministfocus]

What Juneteenth Means to Me

By Danielle Samake 

I, like a growing number of Black Americans, am a first-generation American. My mother immigrated to America from Jamaica with her family in 1990, and my father, alone, from Mali in the late 1990s. I am African-American culturally, by location, and at heart, but my family does not by lineage share the extensive history of racial subjugation in this country that many of my Black sisters and brothers do. 

On my mother’s side, my family can trace our lineage back to my great-grandmother, a high-yellow woman of mixed African and (probably) Irish ancestry. My grandfather’s last name, and hence my mother’s family name, Mckoy, points to Irish enslavers somewhere in our family lineage. I never met my great-grandmother. Neither did my mother. Grandma Emeline, as I would’ve called her had I met her, lives on through me, my cousins, and our aunts and uncles.

My grandmother, Minella, who I called Grandma, but who went by many other names- Aunty, Sylvia, Mother Mckoy, Miss Minnie- had a contagious smile that lit up any room she walked into. I like to think I inherited that smile. Writing about my grandmother and the powerhouse of a woman she was requires another post. More accurately, a book.

When she died on May 1, 2019, College Decision Day, at age 81, I was heartbroken, but relieved to see that her suffering was over. One of the last things I said to her as I held her frail hand and softly brushed her forehead was, “Grandma, I got into Princeton. I’m going to Princeton in the fall. Nyah’s going to Kean. We made it Grandma. We made it.”

My cousin Anyah (Nyah) and I are not the first in our family to go to college, and for that we are extremely, inexpressibly thankful. From the ages of 4 to 7, I watched my mother put herself through Nursing School, with no concept of what that meant at the time except that I wasn’t getting as much “Mommy and Me Time” as I felt I deserved. As my mom studied, my cousins Anthony and Andre graduated from Kean University and Rider University, respectfully. Anyah is continuing the family legacy at Kean. A few years after I watched my mom walk the Graduation stage, immense pride swelling in my seven-year-old heart, my Aunt Venice also graduated from Nursing School, and my cousins Alecia and Antoinette graduated from Spelman College and Clark Atlanta University, HBCUs, respectively. 

College was an expectation for Anyah and me, a standard for which we are extremely grateful. We have seen our family push themselves up out of poverty into homeownership, from segregated, underfunded-schools to graduation stages, from single motherhood to happy partnerships. We are so blessed to have so many examples of Black Excellence in our family tree. Our family and friends inspire us to do better, to strive for better, to reach higher, to go high when antagonists go low. 

On my father's side of the family, I am profoundly fortunate to be able to trace my lineage directly back to Queens and Kings, to an Aunt commemorated in Le Musee National Du Mali (The National Museum of Mali), and to Mali Empire King and wealthiest man of the Middle Ages, Mansa Musa. My Aunts and Uncles are landowners, teachers, and government officials. I have not yet been to Mali, but I plan to go as soon as I can. That is so much more of an origin story than many of my Black sisters and brothers get. The deep brown skin I inhabit- the color of rich chocolate and tree trunks, is a daily reminder of where I come from, of who I am.

Even with my rich heritage, Princeton was not a given. My family had to overcome many significant obstacles unique to Black Americans that continue to limit our communities to this day. My mom and aunt, the first homeowners on US soil in our family, were redlined in 1993. Not 1960. 1993. My grandma, mother, and aunts cleaned white folks’ homes and took care of white children and the elderly for a living for years, and endured racial slurs and intimidation tactics from some members of these families. Two of my Aunts still work in Elder Care, and both work at the facility with the second-highest rate of COVID-19 infection in the state of New Jersey. 

My sophomore year of high school, after my friends and I reported my racist Driver’s Education (Driver’s Ed) to my high school’s Guidance Department three times, she was not investigated or removed from her position, despite years of complaints. In 2019, she retired from her tenure with a glowing write-up in the local paper. Of the 25 students in my Driver’s Ed class, 20 were Black, and one was a Latino student . Another class that took place at the same time, with the same number of students, was majority white. Several of the students in that other class failed the Written Driving Exam, but passed the Driver’s Ed course with A+s. My class had the opposite result. The teacher made the course intentionally difficult, so that if answers to worksheets did not match the outdated version of the textbook she used verbatim, they were marked incorrect, even if they were the new Driver’s Manual’s rewording of the exact same response. The majority of students in my majority-black Driver’s Ed course passed the Written Exam, but failed the course. They had to retake the course the following year to graduate, yet could drive legally in the state of New Jersey. The B- I barely eked out is the lowest grade on my High School Transcript. I received a 92% on the fifty question Written Driving Exam.

At this point in time, I was focused on making my way through high school. This teacher’s sister-in-law was also my substitute English Teacher that year, and I was worried about the repercussions a struggle with her could have on my English grade. Two of my friends (another black girl and one of the four white students in the class) and I went to our Guidance Counselors on three separate occasions, and were told there was  

“Nothing they could do about it”.

My Guidance Counselor, who is an incredible black man and supported me immensely throughout the college admissions process and every other aspect of high school life, told me at the time, “This might be good for you. It’s okay to earn a B sometimes,”.

What he didn’t understand was that it wasn’t the letter grade that upset me. It was the fact that the B- was in fact, UNEARNED. I and my fellow students worked hard in that class, and deserved grades much higher than those my white female teacher, who bragged to us about her two BMWs at least weekly, gave us.

I got my revenge however, by sharing all of my graded and corrected notes with a black friend who was taking Driver’s Ed with this teacher the following Quarter, and instructed her to “Share these notes with as many Black people as possible”. We move forward by sharing our stories and by advantaging each other when the system often fails us.

I tell this story not to minimize the much more difficult and impactful struggles of the other Black students in that class, of the other Black students who experience much more consequential acts of racism at my high school, in my community, and in the world, but to highlight that even the most high-achieving Black students- the ones who end up on Brochures, in Newspapers, in Photos with the Principal, receiving awards at Senior Recognition Night, and matriculating at Princeton University, experience systemic racism. None of us are immune to it, be our last names Brown, Mckoy, or Samake.

-

After accepting my offer of admission to Princeton, I decided to defer my admission for a year, and to accept a nine-month volunteer position with Princeton’s Novogratz Bridge Year Program (BYP) in India. Many Black people reading this will wonder what in my right mind would've made a seventeen-year old Black girl decide to live in India alone for so long, and you’re right to wonder so. I was an idealist, and the Princeton office responsible for the program did not make explicit information about racial challenges available to incoming BYP students. The office maintains that this was shortsightedness on their part, but this program has run for 11 years. They have seen many of the problems that can arise, but chose not to address them. 

My family was split on whether I should participate in the program. One of my cousins went as far as texting me the night before my interview, telling me that I’d made a mistake, something I was angry with her about for months afterwards. Others supported my decision, but told me to stay vigilant. I did not tell my father until after I’d accepted my placement. He’d been supportive of my first choice location, Senegal, where we have family and friends who he knew would look out for me.

“In India,” he said, “people will think you are nothing. They will treat you like nothing. They will treat you like the garbage in the streets, like the ground they walk and spit upon,”.

I did not want to believe him, however. 

“I’m going, dad,” I defied. “I’m going with your support or not. I have to do this,”.

The year before I’d gone to India, there was another Black woman in the group. She’d successfully completed the program, and so I thought, “If she can do it, why can’t I?”

I consciously avoided reaching out to her before leaving for my trip. I feared she would tell me things that would convince me not to go, and I was determined to take advantage of this free “adventure of a lifetime”. When I met her, in person, right before I left, I asked her bluntly, albeit too late, if there was anything I needed to know about the way I’d be perceived because of my race while in India.

“Don’t forget who you are,” she said, “And keep your head up high.”

I thought this was all I needed to get through nine months in a country where anti-Blackness is a given. I began to pray the Serenity prayer daily:

“Lord, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” replacing the word “serenity” with “strength”, a common alteration.

This prayer guided me through a number of in-country challenges- through tensions with other members of the group, through mistreatment at the hands of shopkeepers and locals, through internal turmoil. Along with other prayers, advice, and the love and support of my family and friends, including the Black girl from the previous year’s cohort, in-country instructors, counselors, and my homestay family, I was able to remain in India for 6 ½ months before reaching my breaking point. By the time I said to one of my instructors “I think it’s time for me to go,” on a fateful day in early March, I’d been spit on a minimum of three times, called a variation of Kala/Kalu/Kali, the Hindi word for “dark-skinned” which is also often used akin to “nigger” a minimum of ten times each day, been ostracized by most members of my group for reporting a racist member who often racially degraded me, and experienced mental health issues I never thought I’d face. I perpetually wrestled for the first time in my life with the international effects of the West’s enslavement and subjugation of my ancestors, of my brothers and sisters, of its continued exploitation of me. I was a pawn in a system that asked me to sacrifice myself for the betterment of others.

Deciding to come home was my most effective and empowering tool for reclaiming my autonomy. It was a timely decision too, as after I was home for one day, in mid-March, I received a message from other group members that they were coming home in exactly a week due to COVID-19. I’d come home one week before international airways were blocked, before airports completely resembled military checkpoints, before people were too concerned with COVID-19 to analyze the way they’d treated me over the course of the program to apologize. This is only a minuscule fragment of the story of my journey, but I know that it was orchestrated by none other than God Himself.

-

As difficult as my journey in India was, I am grateful for it. It taught me that my Blackness is under attack on virtually every corner of this Earth, that if I don’t love myself, this world never will. It impressed upon me the value of Black love, which I’d observed up close in the relationship of a dear ZImbabwean friend I’d met through my NGO placement and her Ghanian boyfriend. It taught me to use my voice. To REALLY use my voice. To shout my presence from the rooftops and the rafters, to shout to any ear that will listen.

I AM HERE. MY ANCESTORS WERE HERE. MY COMMUNITY IS HERE.

-

This Juneteenth, I remember those who came before me. I remember my ancestors, the Black community’s collective ancestors. I remember the 65,000 African students currently living and studying in India, who are subjected to the horrors I experienced daily over much longer periods of time- many for ten years or longer. I remember my Grandmother, Minella, and her sacrifices. I remember the progress we have made thus far. I remember the progress we have yet to make. I remember George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Tony Mcdade. Oluwatoyin Salau. I remember Masonda Ketada Oliver, a Congolese student and French teacher who was murdered in New Delhi, India in 2016 for the “crime” of trying to hail an autorickshaw. I remember Ahmaud Arbery. I remember Trayvon Martin, who if God spares my life to see my 19th birthday in two months, I will be two years older than when he was brutally murdered. I remember Eric Garner. Michael Brown. Tamir Rice. Amadou Dialou. Sandra Bland. So many others. So many others.

-

“You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

 Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

 Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

 Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

 Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

 You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

 Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

 Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

 Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.”

- Maya Angelou

 Happy Juneteenth everyone. May our ancestors live on through you, and in you.

Danielle Samake

https://momaa.org/directory/national-museum-of-mali/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201703/the-serenity-prayer-and-16-variations

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/29/world/asia/african-students-india-mob-attacks.html

https://www.mea.gov.in/press-releases.htm?dtl/26856/Statement_by_External_Affairs_Minister_on_recent_incidents_relating_to_Africans 

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46446/still-i-rise

https://joyofodu.com/2019/03/07/share-black-stories-on-instagram/

Organizations to Donate to:

Ways to give | Loveland

https://michiganchronicle.com/2020/06/02/heres-how-you-can-maintain-solidarity-and-support-when-protesting-is-no-longer-popular-on-social-media/#/?playlistId=0&videoId=0

https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1-0KC83vYfVQ-2freQveH43PWxuab2uWDEGolzrNoIks/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR3Q4sAqoqMV-bnY17JcvVg_M1ajzUVaSXa-dkQJe02IARcUJReX1MEYhJ8

Black-Owned Businesses: https://www.protectminorities.com/ (Owned by a student at my high school!)

[harrison-abbott]

Antiseptic Green - Short Story

ANTISEPTIC GREEN

  July 2017

  The man hears a shriek from behind him. He jumps, and turns, but she’s not there. For a blank moment he stares across the woodland path, the valley. Then he realises she’s fallen. He rushes to the edge of the ridge, where a vertical drop hangs by the side of the path, and gapes downward. At the bottom he spots his wife in a heap. The man yells her name; she doesn’t answer, and she’s not moving.

 He drops his bag and edges down the valley’s mud after her, breathing heavily by the infant stages of panic. It’s been raining, the weeds are thick and he can’t see much by the declining evening light. He finds her lying on her front, her face in the plants. Lifting her head up, her eyes are closed: she’s unconscious. The man’s own eyes grip with water as he taps her cheeks. But she’s not waking up.

 How far has she fallen? Looking up, he gulps: it’s a bad distance, and she must’ve hit her head on landing. He ponders what to do … He doesn’t have his phone with him, the woman neither; they never take their phones on their woodland walks. The forest is too remote for any passing stranger to appear. The nearest house from here is where one of their neighbours stays – about five minutes away. “Okay, let’s get you to Mrs Walkers,” he says to her, “we’ll call an ambulance from there.” The man takes her legs under one arm, with another grip around her back, and hoists her up.

    The last time the man lifted her up with such gusto was many decades ago, when they were still young university students. The woman studied painting at the art school, and the man was taught the other side of the campus in the business school. She had terrific corkscrew hair and a great accent, when they’d first walked home together, that night. She was wearing blue dungarees with only a t-shirt underneath. When she complained she was cold, he knew that was the cue to give her his coat. When she said her legs were sore, he improvised, and picked her up, carried her home.

 The woman wore the dungarees almost every time he saw her henceforth, throughout their mortal student years. She’d paint in them, go out, sleep in them. The man admired her for being artistic, though inwardly he didn’t understand art so well. She was constantly working at her aisle, her flat smothered with paint tubes, sketches. He really believed that one day she’d be famous, her coveted artworks gleaming in galleries across the world. Even if he often didn’t see the brilliance in the scrawny portraits she made, there were some he lauded. Whenever he beheld a work he genuinely admired, he would become ecstatic, worldly, “what a terrific artist you are!” The woman understood that he was just being kind, and that mostly he hadn’t liked the other paintings he’d shown her.

 Ten years after they’d married, the woman’s dungarees lay in a hush, somewhere in the disused art room in their house. Her painting had skimmed away into neglect, then retirement. She’d been prolific after she’d graduated art school, but her work had never sold, or gained any repute. Then she and the man got pregnant and had a child, and motherhood had uncovered a real talent – she was a wonderful parent. Her husband, by contrast, had excelled in his city business profession. Whilst her rejected artworks piled up in her work room, his success continued. But she never seemed sad about the rejections; she hugged, clapped, kissed the man each time he reported joy. Therefore, the old paint tubes could lie in the abandoned art room. Painting was only one of many hobbies. If it had failed, then there was no more to be said.

    The man reaches the top of the hill, carrying his wife. It’s humid and his sweat mixes with the air. The woman’s head lulls by his chest, swaying back and forth like she’s asleep on a car journey. The man spots dark purplish liquid on her hands, thinking my god, is she bleeding? Was she cut when she landed? But, no, it’s only stains from the blackberries they’d been picking earlier … His muscles are searing with her weight. It’s not that she’s heavy, it’s that he’s basically an old man. He prays he won’t be hit with an asthma attack. Or, God, a heart attack. Just get out of the woods he tells himself then we’ll be almost there.

 The path eases out onto open fields. Then up ahead they see Mrs Walker’s house with warm orange windows. As they near the garden, the dog trots up to them tail-wagging through the fence. “Hello, Jeb,” the man says. The dog’s cheerful because he knows these two elderly people, and can’t understand why one of them is being carried by the other. When the man rings the doorbell the dog barks. Muffled noises inside and then the door opens slowly, Mrs Walker’s face cautious behind the slat. She’s wearing pink-and-green hair curlers and her expression drops when she sees the woman. “Mrs Walker,” the man says, “can we come in, please? And could you call an ambulance?”

    Italian – that was one of the woman’s favourite hobbies. She’s had an Italian grandmother, which was where she got her curly hair from. The grandmother had the voluptuous melodic Italian character too, and the woman picked up the language from her when she was little. Then kept learning it until she was fluent, and she’d take pilgrimages to Rome and Venice in young womanhood.

 When their child had grown up and could go to nursey, the woman figured she was good enough to try and teach Italian. The local primary school was looking for a languages teacher, so she applied and they employed her on a trial contract. Suddenly in middle age she was nervous about her first day of school, again. But she was excited more-so, having a chance to share her passion for the lilting, dancing language.

 After the first few classes, the nature of the children surprised her. Or rather, she felt stupid that she hadn’t remembered what schoolkids are like. It wasn’t even a rough neighbourhood. The kids just used the 30 minutes to gabble together at their tables, over her quiet voice. They took advantage of her lack of authority, her tiny height. Italian didn’t interest them – it was less relevant than most of their normal lessons. The main teacher sat at his desk and didn’t intervene. Nor would the school extend her teaching contract after the six-week trial period.

 During the days after her release, the man noticed the woman was quiet around the home. Her smiles were distant and reassured, like winter sunlight. The man grew worried; perhaps this let-down was worse than the others? He came home one night, having planned what to say to her, to try and cheer her. Arriving in the kitchen, he found an array of exotic cakes she’d been making. “I thought I’d get out the old cook-books,” she told him, “you want to try some?” Her chirpiness had returned. He wondered whether to talk to her about the classes, but it might’ve spoiled her mood. That same evening, when she was putting their child to bed, he heard her singing an Italian lullaby to her.

 Later in life, during one summer holiday, the woman finally persuaded the man to come abroad with her. Their daughter was a teenager by then and away with her friends. The man was in his 40s and had never left the country, which she often teased him about, so she bought them tickets for Milan. It would be the man’s first time on an aeroplane also … She could see how nervous he was at the airport security check, and was trying not to laugh, because she knew he hated that kind of thing. His bags got through okay. Then he went through the detector gates, and the sirens went off. The woman, watching the other side, burst out laughing. If it had been him in her stead, he wouldn’t have laughed, out of seriousness.

    By the antiseptic green of the hospital corridor, the man’s allowed to sit and wait for the woman. He’s not permitted to go and see her – inside the Operating Room. She’s been inside there for hours. The Chief Doctor, or whatever his term was, had come to speak with the man earlier. Asked him questions about the woman; how far did she fall? How long was she unconscious? All these questions, in a chain, straight after that manic ambulance run – with oxygen bags, needles, the scent of chemicals … The man answered each question by fact. No, the woman hadn’t spoken, opened her eyes.

 The man doesn’t even understand what subconsciousness is. The Doctor had used one word which the man had recognised as promising. But it’s just a word, made by an agent, so he’s not so sure. Via slow moving time there is only the sight of her door, just down the corridor. The Doctor’s jargon had baffled him. His voice was nothing against the woman’s presence upon him. There, in that room, she lies – and I’m not with her.

 Looking around the silent corridors, he sees no patrolling nurses. It’s somewhere past 4 a.m. – nobody’s about. The big chief doc has probably gone home by now and so the man stands up and creeps towards the door where his lady lies … Opens the handle, peeks his head through …

 She’s there amid that classic bleeping of machinery. The white thin sheets which are meant to signify convalescence, but propose anything but. There’s a tube running up to her face, covering her mouth and nose. Just by the sight of her state, the man darts towards her, clumsily bashing through the door … The door gives a wheeze, then swings back and bangs back shut. The man watches the woman’s face, and sees her eyelids flicker versus the noise; he gasps; she relaxes back to stillness.

 He kneels by her bedside, her hand in his … The woman stirs not, remaining somewhere anonymous to her mind, or his. The only sound that’s left is the infrequent computer-call of her heart. He listens to this – the robot calling the frequency of her heart, dim and still-defiant, until she sifts into non-time.

 Then the door opens and he jumps up. An it’s like all a dream, except it’s usually relieving when you wake up, and now there’s a nurse standing there looking at him next to the woman. She knows he’s not supposed to be there, but he registers in her face, when she looks at the woman’s body, that he has a right to be there. It’s in that look that he knows what’s going to happen to his lady. But he’s also grateful, when the nurse nods at him, turns, and closes the door.

��As the nurse walks away from the room, the sound of the heart-monitor fades off. But the image of the man sat, pathetic and lost, by her bedside, will take much longer to die away.

[privilege-archives]

OPHELIA HUMMEL ➝ FIFTH SIBLING

I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN

❖ FULL NAME: Ophelia Estelle Hummel. ❖ PRONOUNS: She/Her. ❖ AGE: 21. (April 1st). ❖ BIRTH ORDER: Fifth. ❖ GRADE: Senior. ❖ MAJOR: Nursing. ❖ SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual. ❖ ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic. ❖ FACECLAIM: Holland Roden.

I'LL FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU LOVE ME

Ophelia Rose has always been a little spitfire, even from a young age. Many have said it comes from having such strong parents, always making sure she was strong and proud of who she was. With their help she found her passion in the culinary arts, in the kitchen and trying to help cook or bake no matter what time of day it was. That wasn’t to say that she was always wrecking havoc, working hard to excel not just at school but at home as well. She wanted to be a good role model for her younger siblings doing what she could to give them guidance.

It was when she entered high school that things kind of changed. She honed and matured her skills, and the way she held herself, drawing the eyes of men and women alike. During the last month of summer before her junior year, Lia met Daniel. He was a dream, caring and understanding, passionate in ways she couldn’t ever imagine which only served to inspire her even more. Not just in her cooking but in caring for others around her. It lead to her working towards her A.S. while in high school in hopes of getting a head start on her nursing degree via dual enrollment by the time she graduated. The passion he instilled in her was not something she was ready for nor was the unexpected lost during her senior year. On the way to pre-graduation party, a truck drove right past a stop sign, slamming into the driver’s side of the car. The accident took Daniel away from her and left her unable to walk without assistance for months.

The lost of her first love was devastating, the young woman almost unable to attend her high school graduation though she choose to do so in honor of Daniel. Her passions for food, nursing, as well as life, dropped tremendously causing the young woman to pull away from everyone. It didn’t stop her from continuing on though, taking her NCLEX and passing at the age of 19 thanks to an accelerated nursing program. It wasn’t until she was finishing her last few months of physical therapy when she met a little boy by the same name as her ex that she found her passion again.

It was also how she found where she truly wanted to work, changing her focus to neo-natal and pediatrics. She was grateful for the support from her parents and family while she worked at the hospital during the day and studied to get her bachelor’s online. Now, at the age of 21, Ophelia has found her true calling. She’s found work as a neo-natal nurse at the local hospital all while starting to work on her APRN degree in another accelerated program in hopes of becoming a nurse practitioner soon.

BABY, THERE'S NO OTHER SUPERSTAR

Usually has long hair though Lia has been known to cut her hair every now and then. She tends to wear shorts and tank tops or crop tops though she’ll throw in a dress or two if she’s feeling fancy. Converse are her best friend though she does have a closet full of heels because her love of shoes in intense. She has her belly button and her tongue pierced outside the regular ear piercings and few tattoos scattered around her body.

YOU KNOW THAT I'LL BE YOUR PAPARAZZI

Their mother is a retired supermodel, who still has a big influence on the fashion industry and upholds her fame. Their father is a well known Hollywood producer. The family have their own reality show.

[sonofhistory]

what was jefferson like as a grandfather

Very cool.

Thomas Jefferson had a total of twelve grandchildren to survive to adulthood. Eleven of the twelve were born to Jefferson’s eldest daughter, Martha, and Thomas Mann Randolph Jr. who served as Governor of Virginia. Martha’s younger sister, Maria, gave birth to her only surving child, Francis Eppes.

Anne Cary Randolph (1791–1826) 

Thomas Jefferson Randolph (1792–1875)

Ellen Wayles Randolph (1796–1876) Named after her deceased older sister (born in 1794 and died 1795).

Cornelia Jefferson Randolph (1799–1871)

Virginia Jefferson Randolph (1801–1882)

Francis Wayles Eppes VII (1801- 1881) The only surviving child of Jefferson’s youngest daughter.

Mary Jefferson Randolph (1803–1876) 

James Madison Randolph (1806–1834)

Benjamin Franklin Randolph (1808–1871) 

Meriwether Lewis Randolph (1810–1837) 

Septimia Anne Randolph (1814–1887) 

George Wythe Randolph (1818–1867) 

Thomas Jefferson enjoyed private time with his family. He never remarried after the death of his wife and their surviving family- daughters, Martha “Patsy” and Maria, and their twelve children- became his refuge and comfort. At the age of 73, he began bringing his grandchildren to Poplar Forest. Two of Martha Jefferson Randolph’s eleven children, Ellen, 19 years old, and Cornelia, 16, spent the most time at Poplar Forest and cherished the days with “Grandpapa.”

Grandfather Jefferson had an impact on every one of his grandchildren. Their pursuit of education, public service, farming, and family is evident in each or their lives:

Anne (January 23, 1791– February 11, 1826): Thomas Jefferson’s eldest grandchild and the daughter of Patsy Jefferson Randolph was born at Monticello. Ann died of complications following childbirth five months before her grandfather, on February 11, 1826,4 and was buried in the family graveyard at Monticello.

Thomas “Jeff” (1792—1875): born at Monticello, was the eldest son of Martha Jefferson Randolph and the eldest grandson of Thomas Jefferson. His education was supervised by his grandfather. Randolph soon took over the management of his grandfather’s affairs and displayed an aptitude for finance. Randolph became a member of the Board of Visitors at the University of Virginia, where he later served as Rector. Among other public offices, Randolph served six terms in the Virginia House of Delegates, where he supported the gradual emancipation and deportation of slaves. Too old to fight during the Civil War, Randolph nevertheless was given a colonel’s commission in the Confederate army, and in 1872 he served as chairman of the National Democratic Convention.Thomas Jefferson Randolph died at Edgehill following a carriage accident on October 7, 1875.

Ellen (Eleonora) (October 13, 1796-April 30, 1876): Was the fourth child born to Martha Jefferson Randolph. An accomplished scholar, particularly in languages. Ellen often accompanied Jefferson on trips to Poplar Forest. She was considered the belle of the family and traveled to Richmond, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, and Philadelphia, where she was popular with her grandfather’s old friends, as well as young gentlemen. Married to Joseph Coolidge in the parlor at Monticello in 1825. Her husband’s business interests took him to China for long periods, leaving Ellen to single-handedly manage the family. It is unfair to say that Thomas Jefferson had a favorite granchild, it is possible that he enjoyed Ellen’s company the most; she was clearly his intellectual heir despite never attending college; for her part she called her grandfather her “earliest best friend”. 

Cornelia (1799-1871) : Born at Monticello and never married, Cornelia was an avid student of her grandfather’s, She learned mechanical drawing from Jefferson and practiced by creating renderings of architectural plans for the University of Virginia. excelling particularly in drawing; taught at a school teaching drawing, painting, and sculpture; tried to prevent the family’s financial situation; buried at the Monticello cemetery. 

Virginia (1801-1882): was born at Monticello. Virginia spent much of her childhood at Monticello and occasionally accompanied her grandfather on trips to Poplar Forest. Virginia shared an affinity for music with Jefferson, who bought her a pianoforte from Boston though he could barely afford it. After a youthful romance and long engagement with Nicholas Philip Trist the two were married at Monticello. Virginia and Nicholas’s sisters helped to run the school for young ladies. After her husband’s death in 1874, Virginia lived with one of her three children until her own death in April 1882.

Francis (September 20, 1801 - 1881): was the only surviving child of Jefferson’s daughter Maria Jefferson Eppes. In spite of the demands of the office, his grandfaterh took a keen interest in Francis, and the two of them became very devoted to each other. Jefferson became actively involved in Francis’ life. Eppes spent much of his time at Monticello, where Jefferson sought to inspire in him a love of learning. 1829, he became one of the founders of St. John’s Episcopal Church. He was a delegate to the convention when the Episcopal Diocese of Florida was founded in 1838 and served as the secretary of the Diocese for many years.In 1833, Governor William P. DuVal selected Francis as a justice of the peace. He served in the office for six years, striving to bring order to the wild frontier territory. Francis’ wife died in 1835 after the death of their sixth child. Nowhere is Jefferson’s influence on Francis more apparent than in his determination to found an institution of higher learning in Tallahassee. In April 1836 he and his father-in-law, Thomas Eston Randolph, were among a group of men who petitioned the Congress for the establishment of a seminary in the area. The petition failed but Francis was undaunted. Later he would appeal to the Florida Legislature. In 1851, the Legislature passed an act authorizing the establishment of two institutions in the state, one east and one west of the Suwanee River.In 1854, a proposal to locate the western school in the City of Tallahassee was presented to the Legislature and failed to pass. This time the legislature passed the act for the western school to be in Tallahassee. Governor James Emilius Broome approved it on January 1, 1857. This marked the founding of the predecessor of the Florida State University.  Francis died on May 30, 1881, is buried in Greenwood Cemetery in Orlando, Florida.

Mary (1803-1876): was born at Edgehill on November 2, 1803.1  She spent much of her time at Monticello and occasionally accompanied her grandfather Thomas Jefferson on trips to Poplar Forest. Never marrying, Mary lived at Edgehill, later the home of her older brother Thomas Jefferson Randolph, where she helped her sister-in-law Jane to supervise the household. Mary and her sister Cornelia also visited their other siblings, often serving as nurses during times of sickness. She remained there until her death on March 29, 1876.3

James (1806-1834): was the first to ever be born at the White House. Second son of Martha and Thomas Randolph; first child to be ever be born in the White House; graduated from the University Jefferson created; was considered quiet and gentle natured; lived alone and never married; died in his late 20s at his older brother Jeff’s estate.

Ben (1808-1871): A delicate child, Benjamin was educated by his mother and sisters and at Mr. Hatch’s school. He was a student at the University of Virginia but the family’s financial difficulties soon caused him to leave college. He soon was back at the University studying medicine. He had been elected three times as the University’s prize essay writer. The Jefferson Society also elected him as a member, and Dr. Dunglison considered him best in his class. Dr. Randolph was a strong supporter of secession and the Confederacy during the Civil War. Benjamin suffered a severe illness and he never fully recovered. Dr. Randolph died on February 18, 1871 and was buried in the graveyard of Christ Church, Glendower, near Keene in Albemarle County.

Meriwether (1810-1837): born at Monticello and named for his grandfather’s secretary, the explorer Meriwether Lewis. Randolph studied law and moral and natural philosophy at the University of Virginia but chose to pursue a career on the western frontier. He worked briefly as a clerk for the Department of State before being appointed Secretary of the Arkansas Territory by President Andrew Jackson 

Tim (Septimia): Was probably the most widely travelled of the grandchildren; moved with her mother to Boston after her grandfather died, and to Havanna, Cuba after her mother died where she married a Scottish doctor. After visiting Virginia, Washington, D.C. and Scotland, they settled in New York until her husband died. She retired near Edgehill, Virginia and later near Washington, D.C. where she stayed until her death.

Geordie (George) (1818-1867): Was born at Monticello and named for his grandfather’s law teacher. George served in the United States Navy and obtained his law degree from the University of Virginia.George eventually rose to the rank of Confederate Brigadier General and was nominated as the Confederate secretary of war but constant conflict with Jefferson Davis and Randolph’s own poor health led him to resign. Randolph died of tuberculosis at Edgehill on April 3, 1867, and was buried in the family cemetery at Monticello. 

In a quote from his granddaughter Ellen Randolph, “We saw, too, more of our dear grandfather at those times than at any other… He interested himself in all we did, thought, or read. He would talk to us about his own youth and early friends, and tell us stories of former days. He seemed really to take as much pleasure in these conversations with us, as if we had been older and wiser people.” and later in her life said, “After dinner he again retired for some hours, and later in the afternoon walked with us on the terrace, conversing in the same delightful manner, being sometimes animated, and sometimes earnest. We did not leave him again until bed-time, but gave him his tea, and brought out our books or work. He would take his book from which he would occasionally look up to make a remark, to question us about what we were reading, or perhaps to read aloud to us from his own book, some passage which had struck him, and of which he wished to give us the benefit. About ten o’clock he rose to go, when we kissed him with warm, loving, grateful hearts, and went to our rest blessing God for such a friend.”

When Jefferson’s younger daughter Maria died in 1804, her only son, Francis Eppes, was two years old. Jefferson committed himself to Francis, whom he called “the dearest of all pledges,” and took an avid interest in his education. As a teenager, Francis visited Poplar Forest during breaks from New London Academy, located just three miles away.

He used to also organize races on his grounds for all of his grandchildren. 

[hbhughes]

Mary V. Glynn Aulisio

Mary V. Glynn Aulisio, passed peacefully on Sunday, July 19, 2020 in the Hospice of the Sacred Heart, Dunmore, PA with family in attendance.

She was born in Honesdale, PA on August 17th, 1929 to Madeline Theobold and John Glynn. Mary was the 4th of 9 children.

She graduated from Clarks Summit Clarks Green Joint H.S. Class of 1947. She worked at the International Correspondence School in Scranton after High School until her marriage on Feb. 18, 1950 to Sam (Salvatore) Aulisio of Old Forge.

The family moved to Kingston, PA in 1961 where she lived until her passing. She took great pride in decorating her home for every holiday. Mary was the Matriarch of her street and enjoyed many visits with her neighbors on her front porch.

Mary joined the workforce of Sears in the Wyoming Valley Mall at its opening in 1970, until her retirement in 1991. She was an excellent salesperson, earning by commission first in the Infants Department and later in the Heating and Air Conditioning Department.

Mary enjoyed traveling and visited many places including Las Vegas, The Florida Keys, Niagara Falls, Maine, Disney World and took multiple trips to Hawaii and Yellowstone National Park. She most especially enjoyed summers on Long Beach Island with her sisters and friends and in Ocean City, MD with her family. She enjoyed annual visits to the Bloomsburg Fair with her sister Peggy and with her friends and family.

Mary was an artist, avid reader and bowler. She was proficient in the use of highlighters in her correspondence. She was always ready to see some place new or try a new adventure. She was a terrible swimmer but learned to scuba dive. She planned to skydive on her 90th birthday but had to cancel those plans due to illness.

Mary was preceded in death by her husband, Sam J. Aulisio in 1978 and by her sisters, Helen Graham and Peggy Yablonski and brothers, James, John, Thomas, and Fr. Edward Glynn.

She is survived by her brother, Joseph Glynn (Carol), of Idaho and sister, Ann McHale (Ernie Zemke) Cody, Wyoming, sister in law, Charlotte Glynn, of Maryland and brother and sister in law, Angelo and Joan Aulisio, of Dalton. She is also survived by her life long friend, Jean Drack, of Clarks Summit. Mary is survived by her children, Barbara Aulisio Camoni (Gene), of Swoyersville, Sal Aulisio (Donna), of Kingston, Kathe Aulisio, of Swoyersville, Gregory (Tammy) Aulisio, of Nanticoke.

Mary was the best Nana to her 10 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren, each one of whom has a special Nana adventure or experience to remember. She is survived by grandchildren; Jessica Sands (Corey), Jackie Bufalino (Eric), Joel Marks (Veronica), Daniel Aulisio (Myriam Noukounde), Samantha C. Hof (Issac), Madeline Aulisio (Chris Miller), Nathan Aulisio (Bekah), Bryan Aulisio (Amanda), Patrick Aulisio, Katie Camoni and by her great grandchildren, Lydia and Abraham Hof, Emma and Sophia Sands, Madison, Isabella and Gabriella Bufalino, Brighton Marks, Eli, Lily, and Nathan Aulisio. She is also survived by many nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews.

 A private mass of Christian Burial will be held on Monday, August 17th, 2020 at St. Ignatius of Loyola Parish, with interment at St. Mary’s Cemetery, Hanover, immediately following.

The family wishes to acknowledge the compassionate and outstanding care given by the nurses and staff of the Hospice of the Sacred Heart, Dunmore. They were the most thoughtful, kind, considerate care providers to Mary and her family during her stay.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations in Mary’s name can be made to: Hospice of the Sacred Heart, 600 Baltimore Dr. #7, Wilkes-Barre, PA 18702.

[stephenmccull]

A Family With Five Doctors — And Two COVID Deaths

On the morning of April 1, Dr. Priya Khanna inched her way from the bedroom to the front door, using walls, doors and railings to hold herself up long enough to get to the stretcher waiting outside. She had been battling COVID-19 for five days and was struggling to breathe.

Her mother, also COVID-positive, watched helplessly as EMTs in full personal protective equipment guided Priya into the ambulance. Priya waved to Justin Vandergaag, a childhood friend walking alongside her. “I’ll see you later,” he said.

Ten days earlier, a similar scene unfolded when Priya’s father, Dr. Satyender Dev Khanna, was hospitalized for COVID-19.

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The Khannas would soon suffer the most appalling of fates, as the two doctors from the same family encountered an illness against which they were fatally powerless.

Their story reveals the conundrum facing health care workers, who care for their patients while exposing themselves and their loved ones to risk. And it underscores how unprepared U.S. hospitals still were more than a month after news of community transmission of COVID-19 was first detected in the country.

COVID-19 has hit New Jersey hard, particularly in the north where the Khannas live. According to a database maintained by The New York Times, the state has recorded nearly 165,000 confirmed coronavirus cases and more than 12,300 deaths.

News of the pandemic had unsettled Priya, a 43-year-old nephrologist in the town of Glen Ridge. She suffered from a rare autoimmune disorder called small-cell vasculitis, and the medication she took to treat it compromised her immune system. She knew that if she contracted COVID-19 she would become very ill.

Priya, which means “beloved” in Hindi, had decided in college to become a doctor and graduated from Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences in 2003. Both her sisters were also doctors. She became certified in both internal medicine and nephrology, opened her own practice and was the director of two dialysis centers.

Priya Khanna (right) with younger sister Anisha Khanna-Sharma. (Courtesy of the Khanna family)(Courtesy of the Khanna family)

“She navigated the world with kindness and delight,” said a childhood friend, Laura Stanfill. She was “extremely selfless, a fiercely devoted friend and loyal,” said another, Melissa Auriemma. She gave long bear hugs and loved Lizzo, Hello Kitty, designer purses and anyplace with a beach.

Priya’s father fell ill in early March; the family is unsure how. Satyender, 78, was an immigrant from India who came to the U.S. with a medical degree and so little money that he did not know if he could afford the taxi ride to the hospital where he was to start his internship. In the 1980s, he became one of the first doctors in New Jersey to perform laparoscopic surgery, and was a trauma and general surgeon his whole career.

Five days after Satyender became sick, Priya’s mother, Kamlesh, a retired pediatrician, did, too. Priya, who lived with her parents, immediately isolated herself from them. She grew worried about her own health after a patient coughed directly in her face.

On March 20, Satyender was hospitalized, and a day later was placed on a ventilator. As a courtesy to Priya’s mother, the ICU physicians let her see her husband at the hospital he had worked at for more than 35 years. She suited up in her own personal protective equipment (PPE) and held his hand for a few minutes before being ushered away. It was a few weeks before what would have been their 50th anniversary.

“That was the last time she physically saw him alive,” said Dr. Anisha Khanna-Sharma, Priya’s younger sister and a pediatrician. “After that, we could only virtually see him on the iPad.”

Priya herself was taken to Clara Maass medical center, the 427-bed facility where her father was being cared for, on April 1. Because her sister Sughanda, an ER doctor, had her own full-body protective suit, she was able to gain better access than most visitors and found a situation reminiscent of a war zone.

Dr. Priya Khanna (seated) poses with friends Laura Stanfill (from left) Justin Vandergaag and Melissa Auriemma at her sister Anisha’s wedding in 2015. (Courtesy of the Khanna family)(Courtesy of the Khanna family)

There wasn’t enough proper PPE. Sughanda recalled intervening when the registration clerk, not wearing protective gear, leaned into Priya’s face to ask her questions. Priya didn’t receive a blanket or a pulse oximeter, and was not continuously connected to a patient monitor, the family said.

Sughanda and Anisha took turns FaceTiming with Priya. She was having trouble breathing, despite receiving 100% oxygen, and almost urinated on herself because she was too weak to walk to the common bathroom. She asked for a commode but never got one.

“They didn’t feed her,” said Anisha. “My sister didn’t get a meal at the hospital for the first 2½ days.” Instead, Anisha and Sughanda asked a nurse they knew to deliver food to her, and raised the alarm with hospital executives.

In a statement to The Guardian, RWJBarnabas Health, which operates the hospital, said it adhered to the guidelines of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention regarding the proper use of PPE.

“Providing high-quality patient care is our priority, and that has never wavered even as we continue to treat those who are suffering from the coronavirus,” said spokesperson Stacie Newton. “While we do not comment on individual patients, we can assure you that all of our patients are treated with the utmost dignity and respect and any family concern is treated with attention, discretion, and privacy.”

Priya was weak but still reviewed patient files and texted with her replacement physician up until she went on a ventilator. Meanwhile, her sisters tried valiantly to find treatments. They put Priya and her father on a waitlist for the COVID-19 drug remdesivir. They sought and found hundreds of matches for an experimental treatment in which blood plasma from people who have recovered from COVID-19 is administered to patients.

Yet there were numerous bureaucratic delays. By the time the sisters were able to administer units to Priya and Satyender, it was too late, they said. Although it remains unclear at what point in the course of the illness the unapproved therapy is most helpful, Priya’s sisters are convinced their family could have benefited from earlier treatment.

“I think the doctors and nurses and staff did a phenomenal job in terms of doing what they could with what they had,” Sughanda said. “Was the hospital prepared for this? Absolutely not. Did they have enough resources to treat? Absolutely not. They did not have enough of anything to cover the surge of patients that were coming through the hospital.”

On April 13, Priya passed away, followed by her father on April 21.

After Priya died, Sughanda and Anisha both received packages in the mail of clothing Priya had bought for their children.

Every now and then, Auriemma, the childhood friend, rereads messages she sent Priya while she was in the hospital to cheer her up.

We gotta go to Oregon.

We gotta go out for lunch.

We gotta do our movie date.

“She was an excellent nephrologist. But it was short-lived,” said Kamlesh, Priya’s mother. “She touched so many lives, I can’t even tell you. She was the kindest, sweetest person I ever met in the whole world. I think that’s why God took her away from us. She was an angel.”

A Family With Five Doctors — And Two COVID Deaths published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/