#grad school vibes like god i just want to sleep

[vndooms]

Malia Jensen: Unmade Bed (2010), soap / Håkon Anton Fagerås: Down (2018), marble  / Henri Toulouse Lautrec: Le Lit (1882), oil on cardboard / Danni Xu: 베개 (2021), resin and linen / Will Barnet: Woman Reading (1970), silkscreen on wove paper

[chaoticneutralgood2627]

Advice to College Students (From someone who's trying to apply for a master's program)

Note that these are in no particular order and from my own particular experience. I will add if I think of more.

TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY IF YOU FIND IT COOL: your brain will tell you 'I'll remember that fact, it's so neat!' Your brain is a BITCH. You will not remember SHIT. Take ALL the notes. If you can record your classes, even better!

Write down who your professors are for each class. Make a big document. All the years. Write them. Write down their vibes and if you like them. Write down what sort of assignments they gave. Because I'm over here trying desperately to remember which professors I had multiple classes with so I can beg them for recommendations.

Save your assignments. Even if they're horribly cringey. You can use this to gauge how far you've come. I know it hurts your soul. I have fanfic from when I was 12. Do it anyway.

When they tell you the grad school shit, pay attention. Even if you don't plan to go back to school. Because I didn't listen and now I have changed my mind and I have no recollection of that section of school.

Networking. Gather contacts from your classmates. If for no other reason than because you think they're intimidating and you don't want your LinkedIn to look depressing. They're probably just as intimidated by you. And if not, you can pretend they are.

College is not high school. Next to no one has friends at first. Everyone is a disaster. Talk to people. You might not find Your People in your first friend group. That's fine. There are people there somewhere that can make life less awful. The worst they can say is no, you can't be friends with us (and most people aren't that bitchy). The universe is big and no one is judging you harder than you are.

It's not that friends Can't Live Together, it's that people have different organization styles and needs for survival and sometimes those Do Not Mesh. If you're going to live with someone, make sure that you have talked about things.

Everything can go on a resume if you word it right. Editing a friend's paper? Congrats, you have editing and tutoring experience. Playing DND on weekends? Cooperation and teambuilding to work towards a common goal, sometimes in the face of creative differences (your friends want to Fight Everything and you want to Stay Alive (or reversed)). EVERYTHING CAN GO ON A RESUME.

There are so many resources on campus. Use them, for the love of god because then you're going to be an adultier adult and realize that there is not a med center right across the campus.

Find what motivates you. Mine is spite, I am applying to grad school to get out of retail and to spite 2 specific supervisors. Cling to that when you want to drop out and quit.

There is not a specific route to take in college. Or out of college. Listen to yourself rather than everyone's advice (I am aware that this is ironic to be on an advice post).

If you think you can wake up at 9 after like 4 hours of sleep, that is the devil talking to you. Go to bed.

On the same note. I am aware that you woke up at like 5 for high school. You will not want to exist before noon. 8 am classes are not illegal, but they should be.

Take care of yourself. You're paying a shit ton of money to be there, you can take an hour to eat the food. Plus, if you take care of yourself, then you will work better.

There will be weird shit happening all over. Just roll with it. Unless it's hurting someone or has the potential to hurt someone (my one friend got stalked).

You are not required to stay somewhere social if it's creeping you the fuck out or if you aren't comfy. I think I went to a single party in my entire college life and I hid in the corner with their illegal kitten the whole time.

Speaking of illegal kittens. If you know someone has an illegal kitten, no the fuck you do not. There probably will be at least one. And you do not know about it.

[indigostars]

fic writer interview

this looks so interesting and also took me forever. thanks for the tag, kasey! @kckenobi

name/nickname: sarah!!

fandoms: mainly star wars, though i have written for avatar: the last airbender, and i’m hoping to one day continue! i dabbed a bit in criminal minds and the mcu once, but those fics shall forever remain unfinished in my docs :)

two shots?: i have exactly one, which is bleeding an ocean of permanent life. it was written for angstpril and is about our resident sad boy, obi-wan kenobi, because there truly is nothing better than that!

most popular multi-chapter fic?: i’ve written exactly two (technically three, as moonlight sonata was a collab and i’m still so proud of everyone who pitched in because wow we really created something beautiful!) but chasing out the darkness is the most popular. actually, out of everything i’ve written, it’s the most popular thing i’ve ever posted and i’m still stunned that people kudos/bookmark it, especially considering how much i’ve grown as a writer since then!

actual worst part of writing: writing

how you chose your titles: i listen to songs that i think will fit in nicely with the vibe i’m trying to convey, and then i chew my fingernails looking for that very specific lyric. this usually happens at 1am instead of sleeping.

do you outline?: HAHAHAH no. i should, because it would make my life infinitely easier and the pros outweigh the cons. however i have the attention span of a goldfish so when i get the urge to write, i just write. the characters can’t go off script if there is no script!

ideas you probably won't get around to, but wouldn't it be nice: i started a zygerria au that i’ve run out of steam on (though mainly due to writers block than actual interest) so it’s been on the back-burner until i get an “aha!” moment. i also really want to start writing bad things happen bingo again, but my brain is currently making the tv static noise when it comes to ideas. this is mainly due to the lack of time and mental fatigue that is known as grad school. but i promise they will get done eventually.

callouts @ me: “this is too many em-dashes… but does it REALLY count as a run-on sentence if there’s em-dashes in there? oh my god stop using so many commas. why are you replacing those commas with em-dashes. stop it. stop it now. this is your 63rd em-dash—”

best writing traits: i’m fairly confident in saying that i’m very good with writing in the character’s voices and getting their mannerisms. it’s most definitely not perfect, but it’s the thing i’m most proud of so i’m giving myself some positive credit

spicy tangential opinion: maybe not “spicy” per se, but it has to be said. if you don’t like a fic, or you started a fic that you no longer like, you don’t need to tell the author about it. the back button is right there. go use the door. the author is aware that not everyone is going to enjoy their fic. they’ve made peace with that. don’t act surprised or self-righteous when the author kicks you out of their playground because you’re the one who walked in with a backhand (or straight up rude) comment 🫶🏻

tags: @stolen-pen-name23 @skywalker-tano-kenobi @the-13th-battalion @delless03

[leonsliga]

for the ask game: 8, 15, 22, 62, 88 and 99 if you feel like it 💛

Omg thank you Judith!! <3

8. So here’s the thing: I’m such a bum when it comes to my nails lmao…no clue why. I’ve still got a little bit of leftover teal polish on my toes, but my fingers are out here goin nude 😵 we love some good commando fingernails ig

15. Apparently there’s two #15s, so I’m just gonna answer ‘em both lol.

For 15a, god, I’m torn. I’ll tell you this much tho: you won’t ever find my introvert ass in a nightclub, and that’s a promise! As for the other three, I love museums as much as the next girl, but it’s gotta be between a forest and a library. I’m a bookish bitch, but I also love being out in nature and vibing amongst the trees, especially in the fall when the leaves start to turn or if that forest ends in a mountaintop :)

For 15b, my style is definitely pretty comfy and casual. When I’m not wearing football shirts, what I wear really just depends on the season. If we’re talking fall and winter, pretty much sweaters, leggings, and boots every day (think Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls or Eva Mohn from Skam only more extreme). These are MY motherfucking seasons. I’m a sweater slut…there, I said it. For spring and summer, I don’t care what I wear as long as I can wear flip flops on my feet 🤷‍♀️

22. I haven’t made any super big decisions recently, but I’m about to make a really big one: I’m about to apply for grad schools, and in the process, I’ve got to decide whether I want to stay in the states and round out my studies here or if I want to wrap things up over in Europe (I’m thinking Scotland, since I left a piece of my heart there a few months back). And when I tell you have I have no idea what I’m gonna do, I’m serious lol. I mean, if I decide to go to uni in Scotland, I’ve basically gotta commit to at least spending a couple of years there. And idk, I’m nervous about the weight of that decision and the unpredictability of the outcome. I might love it more there as much as I did the 4 months I studied there previously, or I might not. It’s tricky. Should I stay or should I go, ya know? Decisions, decisions…

62. The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word “heart”? Probably a feeling: passion. Giving your all to something—pouring your heart and soul into something you truly love. It doesn’t have to be a job; it can just be a hobby, something to pass the time. What better way is there to live life than with passion for whatever it is you’re doing or however it is you’re living?

88. First, a lil bb anecdote: my body loves sleep. I sleep like a bear hibernating for the winter; 9 hours is simply insufficient. I’m entirely convinced I could sleep a year if left unchecked or without alarms to stop me. But apparently this morning my brain decided to stage a coup d’état against my body, and I woke up randomly at 7am. Not sure why…I just did, I guess? So that’s fun. But my first thought of the morning was literally: “holy shit, what time is it?” And then when I realized it was the ass crack of dawn, I trust-fell back into my bed (good thing my bed is the most trustworthy inanimate object in the game), trying fruitlessly to will myself back to sleep for the next 2 hours. Eventually I fell asleep…I must’ve, cuz when I woke up again it was like 1pm 😵 moral of the story: my circadian rhythm is damaged beyond repair and not even that cute little thing called sleep can fix it.

99. Even numbers all the way, and it’s not even close! Do I know why? Absolutely not 😂 they’re just more satisfying and pretty idk

[bbybaku]

can you do more BNHA college boyfriend content? I really loved the Shigaraki one (sorry, english is not my first language)

anything for you anon

(also youre english is perfect and so are you)

def gonna make this 2 parts lolol

mha college bf head cannons

shinso

sfw 

probably majoring in something finance related 

wants to take care of you 

as in you two go shopping like every other weekend

has a ton of money from investing in crypto currency and getting lucky 

yall also go out to eat all the time 

and not like fast food like nice sit down places

you two spoon constantly 

like sleeping face to face limbs intertwined

he loves to sit with his head between your legs while watching tv

or when you two are laying down and you hold his head into your chest and hee holds your hips

you both have apartments but he likes yours because its better deccorated than his

has an amazing taste in music 

makes you playlists all the time 

uses old spice deodorant

mr hitoshi is a man who always smells good 

has amazing hygene 

you talked him into growing his hair out

now hes always asking you to play with it  

is very good at school without even trying

which drives you crazy because he always talks you out of studying 

scares off a lot of people with his scary features

which makes his insecure and needed a lot of reassureance at the start of your relationship. 

but these days he owns your ass 

nsfw 

tpyically a soft dom

is huge 

took you a while to get used to how big he is 

likes to put you in stressful situations just so he can reassure you

“shhhh hey its okay im here” 

“this will stop if you use the safe word, hmm oh whats that you want to keep going?” 

“good girl” 

stressfull situations as in he over stimulates you every god dam time. 

nothing makes him harder than you crying from pleasure 

he spoils you

once spent $200 on toys just for you because he was going out of town for a week 

his gifts for you do come with a cost

shinso goes ferral for blowjobs

and he wants them all the time 

you have def given head in an alarming amount of public restrooms 

very into roleplay

almost jizzed his pants when you put on cat ears once 

same thing when you bought a maid outfit 

in case you were wondering, yes his pubes are purple too. 

sex playlist 

homeboy loves period sex

is very into aftercare

like reads womens magazines about it 

has a sexy voice and knows it

has a mirror in front of his bed because its all about eye contact 

definition of intamacy with this man 

knows how to treat his partner 

aizawa 

the thing about aizawa is he isnt your boyfriend he is your husband 

probaby in grad school for like english 

so a lil older 

but thats okay 

he makes up for it in being hot 

and he has cats 

with very obscure names like katsu and mochi 

since he was older he invited you to live with him 

you said yes of course 

the cats liked you right away 

apartment full of books and windows 

shouta drank wine almost every night 

would grade papers for the class he assisted in 

loved holding hands everywhere 

not the biggester spooner 

but would hold you really close on the couch while you two watched films while wine drunk 

he was an introvert so you two spent most nights in 

and when you two did go out it was always something interesting 

like trivia night, or seeing a band play, or going to a dinner party

was the kind of boyfriend who was really good at co existing with you 

like what is awkward silence 

the vibe is just so positive 

and you two are so comfortable with each other

nsfw 

mr aizawa is a kinky mf behind the scenes

he does not have sex he fucks

very good with ropes 

loved controlling you 

could fuck all day 

like man had stamina 

when you two went out to dinner he would push your underwear to the side finger you under the table 

and whisper other times hes humiliated you while you squirmed under his grip  

gotta call him daddy

or sir

or master

he is the type to tie you up with your arms behind your back and put a vibrator on your clit then just disappear for an hour

also big on choking

like real big on choking

he’ll just rest his hand on your throat while you two are doing mundane thing

also asserts dominance constantly

like holding your hips at the grocery store

kissing you in a crowded place

extremely possessive

probably has a few paddles

likes to spank

really likes to brat tame

you say “make me” and you are in for a wild night

man will wear rings when he fucks you

fingers you

and chokes you

you usually come first

unless you’ve been bad

then aizawa will edge you for hours

bakugou

sfw

the definition of “i hate everyone but you”

like once you figured out how to communicate with him

best bf ever

history major

lives in a house with like 6 of his friends

but don’t worry he has his own room

always at the gym

since he’s very muscular he rarely wears a shirt when you two hang out

and he always wants you to lay on top of him

like imagine him being the ceo of picking you up and throwing you on the bed

then jumping on you

kisses. bakugo would want to make out a lot

very temperamental

like if he’s hungry or sleepy or too hot he will snap at you

but you know by now not to take it personally

also would have a ton of funny nicknames for you

examples : headass, stinky, the first letter of your name or ugly

but he would say it in a loving way

❤️ hey ugly❤️

you loved his friends

didn’t know how he scored them with how mean he was

you two spent a ton of time just lounging in his bed

liked to play fight

and bicker

really liked deep convos too like he would push you to think harder and tell him more about yourself

he didn’t say it a lot but he really liked you

nsfw

katsuki bakugou is an ass man.

big dick energy

he’s the type who wanted you to ride him all the time

but he would be in control when you rode him like death grip on your hips

he also liked to hit if from the back

likes to slam into you

the way you jiggled made him harder

not the type to hold in his grunts and moans made a lot of noise during sex

his roomates hated you guys for how loud you were

def likes his girls a lil chubby

grabbed your ass every chance he had

found porn stars that look like yours make jerking off more fun

loves fingering you.

also big degrader

you two had a lot of angry sex and a lot of make up sex

got real cranky when he was horny and couldn’t have you

took videos of you during sex to rewatch later

you got so turned on when he snapped at you

it drove him nuts

basically you two fucked a lot lol

masterlist

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[polarisdelphi]

Answer the questions and tag 21 blogs you want to get to know better. Tagged by @sk-mumu

Thanks a lot for the tag! I'm feeling special ꒰´꒳`∗꒱

Nickname: Kah/Kaka (and polar bear/little polar bear - that's how my mom calls me ever since I was a kid, hence my blog name/art account)

Zodiac: Aries, ascending in Scorpio. I swear I'm nice when I want to

Height: 159cm 160cm

Last Movie I Watched: Avengers End Game. My sister made me watch ALL Marvel movies leading up to End Game 'cause I had never watched it, resulting in us watching movies together everyday for a month. It was worth it and I blame Loki the series, not the god

Last Thing I Googled: If Brazil accepts the jurisdiction of the Committee Against Torture for individual complaints and investigations - my post grad made me go crazy with studying/research this week

Favorite Musician: Muse, BTS and U2. My Holy Trinity of Music

Song Stuck in My Head: Nobody Does It Better, by Carly Simon. It's from the 70's and it was theme of the 007 movie 'The Spy Who Loved Me' - I love all the themes from 007 movies and this is one of my favourites!

Other Blogs: @polarisbibliotheque - I recently started this so I can go back to writing a little bit! I'm doing mostly DMC fanfiction for now, but more will come as inspiration strikes!

Blogs Following: Art related, DMC related, photography + culture (a lot on asian culture and history, like Vietnam, Japan, Korea, China), witchcraft in general, books + really old first edition collector books + libraries, rights related (human rights, activism, feminism, this kind of stuff)... I think that's it.

Amount of Sleep: 4 hours or less. I'm a mess and my sleep schedule is non existent. I've been trying to study Astral Travelling just so I can study/multitask while I sleep, like Doctor Strange

Lucky Number: 7 and 13 - I used to say I'm the unluckiest person on Earth, so I'd use 13 as a lucky number because its "jinx" energy would neutralize my unluckiness and turn into lucky vibes (you know, negative plus negative equals positive?). I've been doing it since I was 13, so far so good actually

What I am Wearing: Dark blue velvety-like sports pants and dark blue gap sweater. Everything I own is blue or black and I don't regret it

Dream Job: Oooh boy. When I was in high school I wanted so bad to work with music - anything really. But now, after Law School and such, my dream job would be working at the United Nations or some International Organization where I can actually help people in need with my knowledge

Dream Trip: So many. Hahaha but I guess Japan and Korea are on top of my list, especially Japan. I have no idea why, since I was very little I've always loved that country and always wanted to pay a visit I blame Sailor Moon. Other countries I have as huge top priorities are Romania, Hungary, Austria, Italy and Greece ^^

Favorite Food: Tea and biscuits/cookies (I'm an old soul). Also, I LOVE Brazilian barbecue. And pizza.

Play an Instrument: I play the piano for +15 years now (I guess...?) It's one of the very few things that puts me at peace and I love music with all my heart. I like playing songs by ear - currently I'm working on some BTS songs and Devil May Cry arrengements. Someday I shall finish the arrengement for Bury The Light, but I'm currently working on refining DMC3 Total Result. I might post here if you guys like it ^^

Also, I'm learning to play the guitar by myself, so it's taking a while.

Language: Brazilian Portuguese, English, an intermediate level of understanding in Spanish, very VERY basic Mandarin and currently teaching myself French

Favorite Song: Starlight, by Muse. It's the same since I was 14 and it remains unconquered.

Random Fact: I studied dance for +10 years and participated on competitions and such. When I was 12, I danced Can Can and I had a solo where I would hold my right leg up to my ear and spin around during two whole counts (two eights, as we'd say here). When I tell people about this, they doubt me and even after so many years, I can still do it!

This is one of the reasons why I like BTS so much: I watch their performances and I get it - the nervousness before it starts, the feeling before going on stage, performing while everyone's cheering... I miss it. And I like watching them do it because I loved it so much - the music and the dancing, I get it when they say they could do it until they die. I miss that sort of passion in my life.

I don't know too many people to tag, but you can do it if you want to! Feel free to mention me as the tagger so I can take a look ヽ(´▽｀；)/♪

[filmbefore]

STELLA CHOI , a member of the yale's elite , they're twenty three and a first year grad student majoring in business . they are as eccentric as they are fickle . ( park sooyoung ( joy ) / she/they / demigirl )

STATISTICS .

FULL NAME : stella rosemary choi . NICKNAMES : stel , stels . AGE : twenty three . BIRTHDAY : april 23 , 1997 . ASTRO : taurus sun , aquarius moon , pisces rising . SIBLINGS : two older twin sisters . SEXUALITY : bisexual + biromantic . HEIGHT : 5′8″ HAIR COLOR : black . HOMETOWN : london , england .

BLACKMAILS .

stella barely creates any of her own fashion designs. she regularly steals designs from small fashion houses all over the world and pays them a relatively small amount to shut down so that there is no trace of her stealing.

stella frequently buys clothing to display on their youtube channel so that they can write it off of their taxes. but they often write off more than they actually bought, meaning that they owe the government more tax money than they have been letting on.

stella’s parents actually paid yale to accept some falsified academic reports and fake philanthropic acts in order to let stella into the graduate program.

BACKGROUND .

miss stella was pretty much born with a silver spoon in her mouth . her father was one of the top names in the psychiatric research field and her mother had an almost cult following on the korean film scene with her odd stylistic choices while making movies . however , the chois could not turn down a job offer that mr. choi had received to work in london . so , they bought a new home in the city and relocated with their twin daughters . 

once the trio got to london and settled down , they agreed that they had room in their family for one more little one and ended up bringing stella into the world !! 

as a kid ,, stella was about as normal as it comes . they did well in school , but weren’t stop of their class . they practiced playing instruments and making art of all kinds , but didn’t make anything exceptional . the only mf thing stella was good at was sleeping in and accidentally missing her first period class almost every day . miss girl was about lazy as hell . couldn’t get her to do anything .

the choi kids’ parents would literally take their kids traveling the world every summer to try and expose them to as many cultures as they could to try and inspire SOMETHING in them to find something that they love . they would always make sure to stop by south korea and visit their family there , but i’m talking trips to brazil , france , germany , singapore , japan , mexico , you NAME it ! but miss stella was still lazy as an old dog :/ ( just taurus tings ! )

that is ,, until she started her youtube channel when she was about eighteen years old ! she had watched about four videos about fashion week that year and decided that fashion was her life’s PASSION and she had shit to say !! 

and for whatever reason ... people wanted to listen to what they had to say about vivienne westwood’s designs ?????? idk bro but their youtube channel started gaining TRACTION and before she could even blink , stella was sitting front row at calvin klein shows , gucci shows , you know ... the works ! just think very emma chamberlain at these events , okay ? like teenage youtube girly pop sitting three spots away from anna wintour . you know the vibe !! don’t pretend like you don’t !!

and honest to god , stella’s parents were just excited that they were showing an affinity for SOMETHING after all the years of genuine laziness they had displayed lmao

and you can only IMAGINE the thrill their parents got when stella actually started designing her own clothes !!!! ( or so they thought ... ) stella’s designs were so unique and colorful and all OVER the place in the most funky way and before you could blink ... miss girl was opening her own fashion house called angel numbers !! 

angel numbers basically blew up right away and had a ton of support from the lgbt community ,,, like think very lady gaga kind of cult queer following ! especially because stella was out as a non binary individual and bi ,,, she just really appreciated the support from their own peers 

stella even went to school in london for fashion design and had no intention of returning to school once they graduated because of all the success coming from her fashion line ... but their parents literally peer pressured them into going back to school a few years later at a school in america to further widen their cultural perspective !! and the chois were dead set on stella attending yale university for grad school ,, bc it would really prove to the world that their kid wasn’t some bimbo heiress who got everything handed to them 

so now it’s stella’s first year at yale hehe and they’re more than ready to vibe on another level with everyone here

PERSONALITY .

stella is stubborn and lazy as hell . like when the shit comes out about her stealing designs , she will NEVER own up to it . even though she absolutely did it out of pure laziness . she spent so many years in college just partying it up with her parents’ credit card instead of actually learning how to design clothing lmao . she is ... fickle with a purpose . she kind of lies to herself about how intertwined she is in people’s lives to save herself the hassle of actually caring about people . if that makes sense ??? like she lies to herself and says that theres no way people care enough about her to care about whether or not she shows up somewhere just so she won’t feel bad about not showing up . and that translates into more than just attendance of events , unfortunately . she’s very blunt and honest to a fault . like obviously she is ... lying about a lot of things in her life , but she will be brutally honest with you about your issues ! like okay miss hypocrite . but she’s generally very flirty and kind of flighty and out there . like her head is always in the clouds and you will just never know if she is listening to you or not . but i promise she is fun to be around when there isn’t any definite strings attached or anything !! she will just start to pull a lil escapist act when you actually want her to commit to something . 

[aggresivelyfriendly]

To Be So Lonely Harry Styles au pair AU-

Chapter 3

Another Day Till Paradise

HI! Thanks for reading, to @chasm2018​, for brainstorming, @papiermachecat​ for the catalyst, and @dirtystyles​ and @emulateharry​ for the read through!

Enjoy!

"Just one more set of notes to go over and I get to put this case away forever! And we get to go to Malibu!" Vee sing-songed into the phone. Harry's  chuckle was in key with her happiness.

"It's a long time coming, I know." She could imagine his fond smile. "You've been working hard for months."

"Months and months." She stretched long and groaned a little.

"You tired?" He asked. "You were up before Maribel and out the house."

"I am, but also really restless. I was so excited about putting this one to bed, I wasn't able to sleep much myself." She started to get her auto dictating stuff together. She usually typed things, but she was feeling the 12 hours she'd been up and knew the words would blur. She'd do it like this and have her assistant proof and file. She was ready to go home. That meant she needed to get off the phone. "What are the babies doing?" She asked instead.

"Oh, well, they are thrashing about in their cribs." She heard him move the monitor. "Looks like Bel is up and staring at Teo, willing him awake."

"Seems late for them to sleep." Since they dropped to one nap it was just after lunch until 2:30.

"We had that date with Jameson's nanny from playgroup, remember? They are on a slightly later schedule, so I fed them and then had them walk the short distance home."

"How did you do that?" Her mind boggled trying to picture it, she was sure her eyes goggled too.

He laughed. "I alternated. One by hand, the other on my hip, and when one started whining while the other started to drop off, I switched them." God, he was strong.

"Nice." Vee really should go.

"Yeah it worked a treat. You done typing the brief? when will you be home?" She heard him click off the monitor. "Teo is more than stirring now."

"Um," she'd be about done had she either got off the phone to dictate or typed it while they spoke. She opened a doc and started typing. She may be tired, but this was faster. "Give me a half an hour."

"Need to let me go?" She kinda did. He was walking, his breath was a little faster.

"No, put me on speaker and let me talk to the babies. We can wake them together." She heard a cry.

"Oh no need to wake them. But mamas voice may quiet them." She put her own phone on speaker and talked with Teo while she heard Harry with Maribel in the background.

She'd be jealous she wasn't there except she would be for the next two weeks. Harry had a friend in LA, a wealthy one (she'd have to ask about that), who had offered his beach house. She'd been bandying about vacation ideas when Harry's face brightened in that way he had. His ideas were usually brilliant, and he told great stories, though usually his tales of their day revealed more about himself than any direct question she had asked him. When she asked about him, he'd shrug and go over his CV. Born in the north of England, divorced parents, amazing mum, lovely sister, moved to the states to do his doctorate, couldn't keep up with the expense, was in sabbatical to earn some money to finish.

Those were all pleasant facts, except the divorce, his face scrunched like bitter lemon on that tidbit, but they weren't really about him. The thing she knew, were from observation, or his long asides.

He liked his coffee black but his tea strong and sweet, and only from a pot, not a bag. His favorite meal was breakfast and he ate it at all times of the day and night. Once she'd found him making pancakes at 2:30 am. "Couldn't sleep, and it's always a good time for pancakes," he'd grinned. "Try it." So she'd sat at the breakfast bar and been a good student of anytime breakfast. He also liked to grab cold pancakes as a snack, as did her babies now. "I use the whole grain mix and put in eggs, so they get protein." He'd looked for approval.

He looked for her approval a lot. She wasn't sure if he was trying to keep her involved, was being polite, or really was unsure. Harry's ideas and ways were nearly always A+.

He had asked for approval on the Malibu idea. And he'd told the story in that meandering way of his. Vee, how she'd come to think of herself since he adopted the nickname, usually left with more information about him, and less about whatever the actual topic.

The day they'd been talking about vacation ideas was a perfect example. Harry had been sitting across from her with that sweet little cock to his head he got when she was talking at length. It might be the first time in her life she felt like somebody listened to her and really liked it. Her mama did too, now, but when she was little her mama had been so tired. She worked too hard, too much, and too many jobs. Mama was tired when she got home, and she never had the money or paid time off for a vacation. Because of that, all that scarification, Vee did.

"I should be done with this case at month ends I think I'd really like to go somewhere, relax, play with the babies, sleep in."

Harry laughed. "Vacation with the twins means you won't be getting to sleep in much."

"Not if you come with us." She raised her eyebrows at him. He deserved a vacation too. He'd been working a lot right along with her. She'd paid him extra, but wanted to do more, and there was the other benefit. "Then we can switch off days, I'll keep them most nights, but maybe you can keep them a few mornings?" She hoped he liked the idea, or maybe he would like to just have the time off to see friends, or maybe even go home. "If you want too." She tried to take the pressure off, scale back the hope in her eyes.

"I think that vacation sounds amazing!" His dimples were so huge, she liked that they showed sometimes even when he wasn't smiling. He was now. "What kind of vacation were you thinking, mountains, beach, big city? Driving or flying?"

He was about to keep going when she cut him off. He might start talking about his favorite vacation when he was 12, or something, and entertaining as that time in Portugal may have been, it wasn't germane to the moment.

"I would actually just love to get out of the city, but still have city amenities. Beaches, and laying around, with nice food and hiking, but not an all inclusive. Ya know. And sunsets. I'd really love some devastating sunsets." She missed heat too. "Somewhere warm. And flying. But not too far. And no layovers. Not with Beli and Teo."

Harry had straightened up in his chair and smiled with flashing eyebrows. He'd put a finger up while he stood before disappearing into a room. He came back 15 min later with the same light on his face stirred together with a bit of triumph.

"I have the perfect vacation for us!" He grabbed the barstool he'd vacated with one dinner plated sized hand and sat across from her. Then leaned in with his chin on his fist. "Have you ever been to LA?"

Victoria wasn't able to school her face.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But there are some really amazing things to do and see there, if you avoid the star walk and such." She'd not been to the star wall. She'd been there for a conference and hadn't seen much but the walls of it, and the immediate area in downtown LA. She hadn't been impressed.

"How'd you know so much about LA?" It was on the other side of the world after all, from the place that imprinted on his voice.

"Oh, I have family, although I guess more close family friends there," he stopped to puzzle over the tree and its branches. "Yeah, just my dad's old college mate, not actually blood relations, though I called him uncle my whole life. Anyway, I wasn't sure where I wanted to go for my post grad. I talked to myself about the requisite places in England. But Oxford and Cambridge seem so stuffy."

"And Harvard isn't stuffy?" She'd gone to Brown.

He had a goofy snicker sometimes. It might be her favorite flavor of his laugh. "Not nearly as cool as Brown. Who went there?" He rapped his chin. "Oh JFK Jr! That's right. Who else?"

There was a list but she just narrowed her eyes.

"Anyway. The opposite of stuffy seemed like California. So I decided that Stanford might be nice. So I called my 'uncle' in LA to see if I could stay with him and commute to school or something."

Vee giggled.

"Ya, I had no idea how big California was. I guess I figured it was like San Francisco, Stanford. LA. Three hours tops, make a tour, see the sights, catch the vibe," he mimicked a surfboard and she lost it.

She was full out laughing by now. His hand illustrations and the little literal hop, skip, and a jump he performed before that. He should go to Disneyland too with that level of animation. "Did your uncle teach you different?"

"Well, no, like kinda. He mostly just was excited to have me. But we went to his house on the beach in Malibu first and then drove to Stanford. Which was beautiful. Up the coast."

"Isn't that like 12 hours?"

"Like 10, I dunno, forever, but we stopped in Monterey. That was nice. And beachfront. By the time we got to Palo Alto, which means high stick by the way, that's a weird name for a town, I was disappointed. The weather was way better in Malibu. Also I had imagined Stanford was waterfront."

"It's not far. The whole state can't be on the ocean."

"Think my expectations were ruinous. I had no idea how big the place was. But, it wasn't what I had in my mind." He shrugged.

"And Boston was." That was the puzzle. It was cold here, and definitely not postcard beaches.

"Well, it's waterfront."

"Do you do much swimming?" She asked.

"I had it in my mind to go abroad by then, and  Boston seemed to have shit weather like home."

"Shittier." Vee flashed her palms like that was a given. There was more to this story, something she wasn't getting.

"Oh, Texas has better?" Harry derailed her and got up to move behind her in the kitchen. He was grabbing food now. Oooh, nap snack time. She loved when he did this. It was like an informal nosh, so different from the stuffy steak lunches at work when she had to go to client things.

How the hell did he pull together a bruschetta bar so quickly? "Made it last night." He answered her face. "Had a craving, made loads." She'd been around the office late again Friday evening, but only two more weeks until the case officially ended. Her part anyway. But she answered his cheek while she loaded up a toast point.

"Claro, San Antonio at least. Houston's a bit shit, Dallas gets cold, and hellishly hot—"

"Isn't San Antonio really hot?" He interrupted.

"Yeah, but it's a little drier, and there are hills and Austin is close, and it's just better. Certainly than Boston." She sighed. Sometimes she missed how big the sky was and that the clouds looked like cartoons.

"You'll have to show me." She'd like to. The house that built her. That was like the only country song she liked.

She smiled and nodded looking. "Yeah, sometime, you can come to when we go we abuelita. But, much as I love my mother, that's not a vacation exactly."

"Right." He nodded along. "So I just called James, my pseudo uncle, and they are going home for a month. He said we could use his beach house...." Harry's eyebrows  were as high as they could go, floating on hope.

"I only have two weeks."

"Yeah, that's enough, you'll be missing the east-coast-no-bullshit by then. Everybody is fake happy and nice in California." He sounded like he was standing behind a lectern.

"Like you." She felt the need to remind him. He was the happiest person she knew.  But she knew a lot of lawyers.

"Oh, mine's not fake." He shook his head.

That was true. He really was just ridiculously nice.

"But it has its perks. Last time I was there, I found this smoothie shop, amazing wheatgrass shots, and they have a vegan restaurant." he responded to her face, again. He read her like a favorite book. "When in Malibu, Vee." His smile required an answer and a question.

"What the fuck is wheatgrass?"

"You just cursed!" He covered the speaker of the monitor.

She smirked, "That's so we can hear them, not them us, tonto."

"Did you just curse again, but in Spanish?!" He made his offended face. "You def need some California vibes and lots of wheatgrass to detox that liver. All that anger!" He was s shaking his head.

"What my what? None of what you just said makes any sense." She was giggling.

"I dunno, I'm making it up, based on what I can remember about how the guy got me to drink juiced grass. He said anger lives in the liver or the pancreas or some such. But it was good! The grass, kinda. And I felt good and my skin glowed after a few days of it."

His skin always glowed.

He misunderstood her incredulity. "You'll see! We can try some—"

"I'm not drinking grass, like I never ate mud pies." Victoria insisted, shaking her head at him, but carefully keeping her elbow against him. His had come to rest against her a moment ago. He was warm. It was hard for her to find the right temperature. She didn't have that trouble when they were adjacent.

"It's a thing. A Malibu thing, guaranteed to chill you out." That phrase sounded weird and wonderful in his accent. "All we need is flights, a car, everybody drives there, and bathing suits!" He picked up his phone. "Where do they have bathing suits right now? It's outta season."

The snow was black and melting. They may get one more blanket, or not. It was technically spring, just not in Boston.

"Target, it's almost Spring break." She reminded.

The corners of his lips turned down and she cocked her head to the side. She needed to look at his timeline. He seemed to really want to go back to school. She'd miss him dearly, but maybe they could work something out. Maybe she could hire somebody else for when he was in class and studying?

His brow cleared and brightened with an idea. "Wanna go pick stuff out while they finish their nap? Then we can meet you at the green. I'll bundle them up."

She checked her weather app. "Layers, the actual sun may come out!" She was already putting on her purse.

Vee had essentially been packing since that day, little by little. Well, shopping was probably a better word for it. She bought her first mum suit, and tried not to think much about it. Her old suits still fit, or fit again, just not like they used to, and her stomach had new pink welts, like veins of cotton candy, down the sides. She supposed there was nothing to be done about it, two humans had lived in there for a time. That had to leave a mark, right?

She still packed her old high cut black one piece. It looked good and she felt great in it. Victoria caught herself wondering what Harry would think of it before she switched her focus to the babies' suitcase. Like that mattered.

This mattered. Traveling with small children required stuff.

She'd been shopping for Teo and Bel as well. Who knew that resort wear for near toddlers were so adorable? There were a few pieces she knew would be super frustrating, long dress style things, cover ups she supposed.  She just wasn't sure what a baby needed to cover up. But it was so damn cute she'd bought it. There was a little voice in her head that said the inhibited movement may be worth the squalling near a pool. And what a pool it was.

More like an oasis from Harr's pictures. The lush greenery around the deck was like ivy, made it private from the beach the stairs led to. There was a gate, so the kiddos couldn't fall down the path or into the foliage, and the lounge chairs looked so plush, they made her want to nap immediately. "The fabric is moisture wicking, so you don't really need a towel." Harry had told her. She felt like it was made so you could swim naked, all the privacy screens and no need for linens. Not that anybody would be doing that. Small children and platonic nanny relationships and all.

Hmm.

But the moonlight glinting off crystal blue water and the night lighting of the pool were ethereal. Still took the swimmer to a new place it looked like, but instead the island oasis of the day, it was more a fairy hill, where magic things happened.

Magic.

She missed magic. She wasn't sure she'd ever really had it. The ex, well they'd had some good days, hanging out on quads and dancing late into the night. But, they'd gone straight to law school, then to a firm. There hadn't been much frolicking. Even their honeymoon had been serious, a tour of St. Petersburg and Poland. It was his dream trip, but some of the things they saw killed the libido. There were certainly no fairy lights or naked swimming.

Had she ever skinny dipped? That seemed like something that should have happened, and she was too old now to add it to her bucket list.

Was she too old?

Maybe it was time to start dating. She felt lonely. And was thinking about Harry in weird ways. She supposed it was just that they were going to a beautiful place that could be romantic. They made good friends, partners really, but he was younger, and they maybe flirted a tiny bit sometimes, but there was nothing romantic. He was just the nearest male. She needed some attention maybe. She hadn't in ages.

Victoria imagined kissing someone, a faceless someone, on one of the loungers, after a delicious midnight dip, of the thin variety. Wet lips and cool skin, hot breath. The feel on long fingers on both sides of her cheeks holding her still to deepen the kiss. The slide and wiggle of a rough tongue along her top mouth. Vee could feel the plump bottom lip  she imagined, and the broad back under her hands as she was rolled under most of the 60's, if the dates on his shoulders were a timeline.  The v of the back to a slim waist against her palms as they slid over skin beaded with cool water, and strong thighs with bits of text and fauna etched against the crux of her. She stood and defiantly closed the zipper.

That got oddly specific .

She needed to go on a date. But, obviously, after they got back from Malibu. Could she make up an excuse to leave the kids with Harry one day and meet with someone at the four seasons? Could she swipe right? She didn't think so. She'd just book a massage instead. The reviews there were amazing.

The knock startled her attention away from her suitcase. The door was open, the knock was courtesy.

"Hey, Harry!" She brightened her voice and smoothed her hair. For a moment, she thought about avoiding eye contact, but that would be a tell. She never did that. Especially not in court--a good suit and strong eye contact were good armor. He'd know something was up, she just had to pretend she wasn't just thinking of him on top of her or a liaison with a random to distract her from it. "You packed?"

"Yeah, did it during nap time today. Thought I'd see if you wanted help with the twins' bags?"

"No, gracias." Ohhh she was distracted. "I did them mostly yesterday, just got together the things that came today."

"And you are done?"

She fidgeted with the zipper her hand was still on, looked at it, so she didn't have to be staring into his eyes anymore. Eye contact was good, until it was eye fucking. She didn't want to get caught there, and her mind was still under the moon. "Yes!"

"It's easy to pack when everything is new huh?" His voice was lined with laughter. His teasing voice; she loved when she caught him talking to the littles in it. The dimples pressed into his voice and his cheeks.

"I put a few older things in there." She was looking in his eyes again. The smile was there too, and in her answering grin.

"Swimsuits, a dress or two you don't intend to wear?" He guessed expertly.

"How do you know that."

"Sister, mum." He shrugged. "But, since you're done, nightcap?"

It was only 9 pm, but their flight was ungodly early, so the kiddos would hopefully sleep until the airport, and they could get a full day on top of travel. "No, a melatonin is probably a better idea. Thanks though." Wine or anything like it, was a bad idea. Red wine made her languorous and chatty. Nope. And horny, which she was already battling, for the first time in a good while.

"Ok, see you before the sun."

"Yes, what a way to start the day!" She felt lame. That was lame, right? But he giggled.

"Oh yeah, I usually like it from the other side more."

"I used to, when you get to be my age, you'll see."

He rolled his eyes, but they had had this discussion before. "Sleep well, Victoria."

He didn't really call her that. She liked the way the syllables rolled off his tongue.

She needed that melatonin. No thinking about his tongue. Anymore thinking about his tongue. She'd need the moon medicine and to meditate, or something, to sleep.

In the end, meditating turned into masturbating, and she slept like a baby, for longer than she had in two months thanks to the case. She was thankful, the flight was hell. They were delayed, their early flight for baby sleep plan backfired, and they didn't make it to the beach house until sundown. And the kids were already sleeping as it was almost their bed time by their internal clocks.

She wished she could pretend she had jet lag, or she was tired at all. Instead, she was shaking from all the coffee she had consumed. Harry, too. They both drank iced coffee the way you were supposed to drink water.

They'd put the babies in the appointed room, where their hosts had put a lovely crib for them. It was only a minute to get the pack and play up. They'd have to alternate nights, seemed fair, though the babies would never know.

She watched them for a second. Two years ago, in the throes of a dying marriage, she'd have never imagined this life, this new life.

Part of that was Harry, he was a godsend. They had  dealt with the rough travel day together, baby switches and breaks included.

Apart from the shakes from all the iced coffee he kept producing, she could not fault him. He'd make somebody a great partner one day.

"Victoria?" She heard and followed the voice. The house was a good size, but not so large she couldn't hear him, and most of the place had a fantastic view.

The view outside was way better than the pictures. The sun was going down and the sunset started like cotton candy, there was a widening purple streak, and from the stairs down to the desk she could see the sun sinking into the ocean. It looked like it went on forever. It stole her breath.

Here sense was taken as well, because the view on the deck was better, Harry was stood between two of the plush deck chairs she had dreamed of and had fantasies about. He had two glasses of champagne, and was backlit by the sunset.

The worst of it, was that he was shirtless.

"Dios mio!" she exclaimed.

"Right," he opened his arms and turned around. His back was broader than she imagined. "Could this view be more gorgeous?

No, no it couldn't.

[ofmargaery]

✦ ▓ AND WHO GOES THERE? oh, it’s just [ MARGAERY TYRELL ]. some say [  HER ] resemblance to [ LAURA HARRIER ] is almost uncanny, but the [ TWENTY-EIGHT ] year old has been in the capital for [ TEN YEARS ]. many suspect that they are the notorious [ GRAND MAESTER ] of the [ TYRELL ] family: perhaps that has made them [ SOFT-HEARTED ] && [ IDEALISTIC ] of late, when they used to be so [ ELOQUENT ] && [ INTELLIGENT ]. during the daylight hours, [ MARGAERY ] can be found working as a [ DISTRICT ATTORNEY ], but when night falls over king’s landing, they are best remembered listening to [ JOAN OF ARC by LITTLE MIX ]. may the gods be with them in these dark streets. 

tldr: on behalf of Margaery Tyrell, I would like to inform you that she took a DNA test and she’s 100% that bish. 

The youngest child of Mace Tyrell and Alerie Hightower, she already had three wonderful brothers who had seemed to promise to leave a mark on the world in their own ways. But for all she loved them dearly, it was always her grandmother that she idolised. Olenna’s legacy was what she wanted to live up to and continue.

She grew up happy, kind and undeniably bright. With a knack for picking things up easily, Margaery had an ease with learning and on the odd occasion that she didn’t grasp something first time her diligence was quick to ensure that she added it to her repertoire. 

All she knew was that she wanted grow into a woman that her grandmother would be proud to call her granddaughter. To do that she made sure that she excelled at school, joining almost every club going and making sure that her grades were nothing left than the highest grads. It made her content for a while but she soon found herself looking for her next challenge, setting her sights on doing something for others.

At the age of sixteen she set up her own foundation with the blessing and help of her family. Knowing how important education was, it started off as a way to help finance children from low income backgrounds through college. It has evolved over the years and now it is multifaceted but mostly serves as her way to ensure that the general public isn’t forgotten while all the families war against each other. Of course, it has its uses past that and at times it’s been used to advocate for certain laws that her family are lobbying for. Although she has to keep her views somewhat private due to her job, she takes great joy in knowing the good it is doing.

Her foundation was what settled her mind on what she wanted to do with her life - continuing to improve the world she lived in somehow. She didn’t quite have the stomach for politics although undoubtedly she would have excelled at that the same way she did everything else. So instead her focus moved to the law and how it was upheld. She moved to Kings Landing for college and has been here ever since. 

While studying she knew that she had a choice ahead of her - which discipline she wanted to practise. But to her the answer seemed simple. She wanted to ensure that dangerous people ended up behind bars and of course, it came alongside the added bonus of being responsible for members of other factions ending him behind bars too.

When it came to the other side of the family business, Margaery was initiated as soon as she moved to Kings Landing. She moved her way through the ranks before becoming an exarch two years ago, quickly proving that her words could just as easily be crafted into threats as they could praise. 

She’s formidable in the courtroom and has an almost perfect track record of convictions. Some might be cynical and suggest it’s only because of her family’s influence that she succeeds, others might say that she is selective in which cases she chooses. Both of those might hold some truth but the reality is they’re barely a factor. She does her due diligence with every case, pouring over evidence until she had a flawless argument. With sweet smiles and concerned eyes, she rarely fails to win the jury over.

With the death of her aunt she found herself voted into the position of Grand Maester. It was a position she had expected to one day hold but not quite as soon as this. Still, she is determined to rise to the occasion and not let down the people who placed their faith in her. And when Margaery Tyrell sets her mind to something, she tends to succeed.

Personality:

Margaery would like to think that her defining trait was still her kindness and for the most part it is. She has an affinity for altruism and will always be one to put other people before herself - the one big exception to this being that her family comes before all else. But kindness doesn’t quite mean soft and although her heart acts as her conscience, she tends to follow her head more often than not. For all she is happy to have her philanthropic efforts praised, she is grateful too whenever her intelligence is mention. She might be graceful and softly spoken, with doe eyes that always communicate her empathy and understanding, but her mind is as sharp as a knife and she knows how to use it. Communication is extremely important to her and always has been when she loves people so much and as such she’s an excellent listener as well as being extremely eloquent. She loves fun and wit above all, make her laugh and she will be your friend forever.

There might be a constant balance being struck between what she deems is best for the city and what is best for her family but generally she believes that both go hand in hand. Ruthlessness is not a trait she was born with but one she’s learned and as with everything her sharp mind has taken on, she executes it perfectly. There’s a wildness in her that isn’t quiet impulsiveness - she’s far too practised for that - but something that makes her unpredictable. Of course that streak is well hidden when even she forgets about it sometimes, aside from the longing she has for open country and a desire to always be on the move. Unapologetically feminist and intersectional with it, she full believes that what’s best for society is ensuring that everyone’s voice carries equal weight. Accountability is also hugely important to her. She knows that people can make mistakes ( even though she so rarely does ) but taking ownership of such things goes a long way in her books.

Headcanons

She has a Ferrari 250 GT Berlinetta Lusso  that she adores and will be found driving at any free moment she had. Not that there’s a lot of them. But basically Margaery Tyrell has a slick ride so click here for vibes.

Lives right next door to Loras because, well, he’s her best friend.

She grows rose plants on her balcony to humour her mother but her favourite plants are the orchids that she keeps inside her flat.

Other than sleeping she is rarely still. She loves being active and if she’s not working she’s doing some sort of sport, at her foundation, socialising or volunteering. It’s impossible for her to feel content simply being, she feels as though she’s wasting time.

Connections

Can be found here! But I would also love any of her canon ladies, Garlan & Willas.

[delciastudies]

[05.02.20] ✧ 87 days of productivity

ft. isla vista beach and wondering how god graced me with being able to study at my dream school and I get to wake up and go to the beach whenever I want uwu

Just created a new blog-- @delciasustains!! I’ve realized sustainability endeavors mean a lot to me, and I have a lot of advice regarding sustainability, so I made a new blog for it. No posts just yet but go check her out and give her a follow ((:

It has been a week. GRAD APPS ARE DONE. PETITIONING IS DONE. I am so, so proud of myself seeing myself get to this point and finally seeing all of my hard work paying off.

Being going through a process of understanding and responding to my body, because I feel like I haven’t given much credit to listening closely and being eager to meet my basic needs (esp since its midterms szn). 

I found out that a close friend of mine passed away today, so been in the blues. Slowly making it through my studies. 

To-dos: ✧ Thesis rough draft due in two weeks... ha ha ✧ Submit fieldwork notes ✧ More thesis writing ✧ Be ready for section tomorrow morning

Tracker: 
 ✧ Mood: upset, exhausted 
✧ Energy: 30% ✧ Sleep: 8h 
 ✧ Water: 6 glasses 
 ✧ Listening to: rex orange county -- everything but new house and corduroy dreams hitting differently lately ✧ Skincare: starting proactiv ((: 
✧ What made me happy today: spending time with much needed friends and community, completing all of my graduate requirements, seeing the sun shine  ✧ What made me proud today: I got all of my laundry and shopping done this week-- all organic products too, I’ll have to share my laundry routine on my @delciasustains blog ;) Slowly learning to be more gentle with myself.

I want to start tracking yoga and self-care activities, and also tracking sustainability on my other blog-- they may overlap often though!

Send me good vibes I need them rn plz xx

[tempestshakes01]

8/8/20

oh no.

i’ve had another dream where a man tries to kiss me despite having a partner. what is my subconscious trying to say?

last time it was br*d from b/a (but in the dream I was also Claire? I think.)

this time I was at a climbing gym (it smelled and vaguely looked like the old Y I used to go to for gymnastics...yellow lighting, pinesol scent, echo-y) and we were climbing for the first time in forever. alex was in the dream. anyway, we came upon a group and it turned out to be the bould/ering b/obat boys just goofing around with some locals. they were helping out and teaching as well. 

anyway, alex got in on it cause it was vert and i nervously wandered away to find an overhand or an easier slab, and to get away from people who might watch me climb. 

so then the evening is coming to a close and i make my way to the set the boys were teaching alex and locals. it was a red v2, lol. no one is around. i touch it, and suddenly jake (from bb) comes up behind me and encourages me to try it out. i do. he’s a very nice and patient coach cause i keep placing my feet wrong (my issue irl), but i correct myself quickly and it’s actually a really easy problem. i jump down and jake claps, kindly excited for me, and then...

...this is where my memory gets fuzzy, but basically all I remember is *snap* he’s into me and I know it, and i’m obviously into him, and he goes to kiss, but i turn away like, no, no, you have di who is on the other side of this wall. and he’s like, we’re poly. and i tell him i have to hear that from her first. he agrees and we walk off. the end. 

lmao.

and then still in ~dream state~ i’m like, damn another dream where someone almost cheats with me? what does that mean? 

that’s a rhetorical question, ofc, because even a ninny like me can tell that’s a can of worms i don’t want to open without a licensed professional on call. 

p.s. i am back to hating **** and no i will not elaborate.

p.p.s. i said i’d elaborate about jdemps looking like my dad if you lose your glasses, get lemon in your eye, and you squint, but i don’t think i will--mostly cause i want to forget i even i had that notion. 

p.p.p.s. i think a lot of people look alike when they don’t now that i think about it. i’m that one person that sees a someone’s new wedding photos on facebook or whatever, and my first thought maybe 75% of the time is...wow, they look like siblings. 

no lie. 

i’d post some examples but i won’t invade people’s privacy like that or embarrass them when i am proven RIGHT and they DO look like they married their sibling. it truly creeps me out, but i think i’ve read that people are attracted to faces that look like theirs? 

i mean:

which is a quote from an article called:

anyway, i know i’m very in love with long faces/jaws because my own long face. i hate how it’s becoming more crooked though. trying to embrace, but i’m like 🥴. literally. if i were a man i could pull it off a la rya/n gos/ling, but as a woman...🥴. 

--

what else...

started a new job. like a very serious job with a good (enough) salary and it’s sort of in my field. i don’t want to say what it is and i will continue to keep it vague even if i write a blog post to rant--mainly because of legal reasons and staying ethical, or whatever. plus, i feel like i’m in enemy territory and i don’t know how i’ll stomach some of the choices i’ll have to make. 

ugh.

i’m getting very nervous. but i’m excited about how it’ll test my skills in a lot of areas and i think it’s a great opportunity to learn and grow. originally i put a 3 year goal on this job (out by the time i’m about 30 and go to grad school), but i might drop that to 1.5 years, lmao. depend on if i like it. i just...can’t give myself to things i’m not 100% about, ya know. 

it’s why i left sp/okane. 

i really liked it and last summer was such a lovely time with L and N being in my life and climbing and just hanging with M and the fam, but times were going to start changin’, and i didn’t feel tethered to that place anymore. i felt like i had learned and earned my growth. 

i also felt like i had things to do and fix with my family here in san an, but i’ve come to figure out that while i may love them...i can’t “fix” the things that i thought i could. overall, the greatest surprise is the love and warmth i feel for my dad that i haven’t felt in years, and just the ease i feel when i’m around him. 

for YEARS i felt on edge when i was in a room with him--for reasons i didn’t even know!!! all i knew was that he hurt my mom and broke my family...but honestly, the whole story is probably kinder to his side of things because my mom...god love her, but she’s. she’s...prideful and stubborn, i guess is one way to put it. which is why our relationship is not the same and why she keeps hurting me with her words and perception of me.  

the kids are teens now and...with that comes all the moody new qualities of teens, lol, so they’re not as keen to hang out with their weird auntie anymore, but i’ve discovered new love for hanging out with my big sis, and i love that for us. 

anyway, back to this new job. yeah. i just can’t fathom sticking to something i’m not all about--which might be unhealthy, lmao. at some point i’m going to have to “settle” into something. a job. a relationship. a city. maybe? or maybe not. maybe i can continue to flutter around and get what i want to get out of things and move on. i dunno. i just dunno. 

tbh, i’m done with san an. i thought i’d stay at least until the kids are out of high school, teach resource, and figure out what path i wanted to go down for grad school in the meantime, but this job was me grasping at this life here. like, i love living my brother, but he’s only here for another year. i’ll probably find a place with alex next year (that was an option this year and we looked for a bit) and i love getting to have her as a best friend. i love having lilz close by (even if i haven’t seen her in months!). 

but, nothing feels right, and i knew that when i started getting serious about this job and knowing this is a multi-year commitment, and again, this is an invaluable experience for all the different avenues i debate between (career wise) and it’s a step in the right direction...especially with schools down and i can’t go back to subbing until i find the campus/open position i like. there’s no guarantee with the pandemic. that being said, if a vaccine is quickly available and schools open up safely and things go back to normal...maybe i’d switch back...but tbh, i don’t think it looks good moving around so much.

this year (job wise) looks terrible on paper because i didn’t spend more than three months at any job, lol--though to be fair, i was committing myself to subbing before the pandemic hit. went on spring break though...and we never came back. 

i’m not trying to talk myself out of committing to this job and what it entails (despite...again...it being an utterly sober position) but this is just what i feel. 

it’s funny to see half my peers settle down with a career and marriage and babies, but i also love that i see plenty of people more on my side of the scale, and mostly i see people in between. i get the vibe that we’re, as a whole, more accepting of alternative lifestyles and crossing social barriers and being friends with people outside of our own norms. like, it’s not sad that some people don’t want kids! 

(actually, i’ve been thinking about that the older i get and i get really lonely thinking about how it’s kind of a small island to be one the people who don’t want bio kids, but *do* want to foster and adopt children--and it’s not a medical reason. it makes me lean toward wanting to find a female partner vs a man because i read and hear so much toxic shit from men about wanting their kids to come from their own seed, lmao. and i just don’t relate to child-free folks. i want kids! i just don’t want to birth them! like, at all! lol. i remember alex saying how every time she sleeps with a man, she imagines what their hypothetical baby would look like, and i just could not relate. i mean, i’ve only had 3 partners, but not once did that ever come up in my thoughts...except to think, if i get pregnant, i’m abor/ting.) 

i’d also be cool running a foster home for dogs (any kind! medically recovering, disabled, senior!). it’s what i dreamed about as a kid (lol on a ranch in seattle after retiring from the wnba). 

anyway, lil cup of joe has worm butt again :/ tapeworms so he’s going to get some meds on monday and get updated on shots as well. i love him so much. i cry thinking about him leaving me, but he’s a small dog so he probably has like 17 more years in him and THAT makes me cry because i’ll be in my 40s and he’ll be an old man and still my sweetest bean. 

--

oh

no

i’m putting in the comparison photos:

i said if you squint!!! rub a lil salt in your eye and then you will See what i mean. 

[shvdxs]

but you know that this is useless

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? yeah but we do be workin on that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? not really only when im woken up in the middle of the night fearing for my life

3. The person you would never want to meet? oh you know

4. What is your favorite word? peruse deadass

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? womping willow i want mfs to nap under me

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? yike!

7. What shirt are you wearing? black noodie

8. What do you label yourself as? tired

9. Bright room or dark room? dark

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? i couldn’t sleep because of the thunder so i went on my home computer and went through the pictures from my mom’s camera and came across some pictures i didn’t know existed bc i’d been looking for pictures from my 2016 twirp bc k8 and i looked hot as shit but i only had 2 pictures??? 

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? i think 16 i “glowed up” whatever the fuck that means from being emo but 17-18 was absolutely the happiest years of my life until everything went down hill my sophomore year of college and then shit got better the beginning of my senior year and then it went DOWNHILL FAST but then my roommate and i became best friends and i got close with my homies from work and everything was getting great right before i turned 22 and then bam shit got bad because RONA

12. Who told you they loved you last? my mama like 2 minutes ago

13. Your worst enemy? trump, i think the only person that’s fucked up my life is my grandmother, however there’s a couple of people i know that deserve a hexin

14. What is your current desktop picture? its changing kitten pictures

15. Do you like someone? nah

16. The last song you listened to? the song that was last played on my spotify was boy bye

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? trump fUCK him UP im SO SICK and TIRED

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? ^^^^^ + (null) and maybe (null)

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? anyone i’ve absolutely babied and slaved over in my life out of pure love that fed off that and left

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) height and legs fucking duh, unfortunately ive got wide ribs and no snatched waist but im model status at this point

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? i genuinely cannot answer that

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? uh my hands are doubled jointed and im oddly flexible

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? facial tattoos

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. i hate sandwiches but say i had to eat one................ subway BMT w provolone with every vegetable on white

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? fuckin rent bc Mizz Rona

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? i mean AFTER mizz rona i’d like to go to fucking europe, specifically greece or norway. or just straight to australia fuck it

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? i read heaven and said i gotta go then saw alcohol. the switch i made was incredible. mojito. i want a blueberry mojito.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? animal crossing????? my rule is no uglies

29. What is your favorite expletive? excuse me

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? if it’s my apartment im grabbing my laptop because i have homework due assuming my phone is in my pants

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? WOW! PLEASE! i beg of you

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! norway bye

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? we been knew death is a homie, however i’d bring back (out of all of my favorite artists) epstein for the tea

34. What was your last dream about? uh i took a nap which usually leads to lucid dreams so i started dreaming that i was vomiting and then it switched to a lucid dream so i was like gross imma spit it out and then i realized i was in my dorm so i was like wait let me do some rad shit but then i woke up drooling

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? no. im not good at anything.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yeE

37. Have you ever built a snowman? of course

38. What is the color of your socks? grey rn

39. What type of music do you like? i like emo shit

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunset

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? mint chocolate baby

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) i dont watch football but bears bc im from chi

43. Do you have any scars? on god

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? i wanna go to grad school but MIZZ RONA

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my brain, i know id be successful in so many realms with my interests and goals but i have so many setbacks and fears and mental illnesses that it keeps me back but i do be pushin thru

46. Are you reliable? i try to be

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? how far into the future tho

48. Do you hold grudges? unfortunately noooo but that’s because im passive and fear loosing people

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? cat and owl lemme see her

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? dont even know where to start

51. Are you a good liar? lmao yeah my mom turned me into a straight faced liar

52. How long could you go without talking? i’ve gone days

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? rn. fucking rn. they cut my hair so short i want to die.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? so many times

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? of course

56. What do you like on your toast? butter and cinnamon sugar yall know what i mean

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? i miss drawing, but i played telestrations after dark and im p sure it was “spermicide” and i ended up having to draw someone shooting a dick with a gun

58. What would be you dream car? ooooo, okay i’d die for a mercedes SLS or a jaguar F-type 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i vibe

60. Do you believe in aliens? of course

61. Do you often read your horoscope? its funny tho so a lot

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? X

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dragons bc they aren’t real

64. What do you think about babies? NO. i cannot with the noise. the clean up. disgusting. yall sacrificing too much to wipe shit and silence children.

[derrickperegrine]

reb i'm so happy to see you posting things again omg! and congrats on 300!!! 🐝 + and my patronus is a dolphin according to pottermore which i kind of get?? but i always thought i'd be more like a dog or bird of some sort

emily!!! it’s so good to see you again 💕💕 and thank you so much!!

tbh you know a lot of my dolphin patronus friends got a dog as like, a secondary patronus or something?? like legit one of my friends retook the pottermore quiz and he got a basset hound

ancestry: human | demigod | god | mythic creature | force of naturevices: pride | greed | lust | envy | gluttony | wrath | slothvirtues: prudence | justice | temperance | courage | faith | hope | charitystone: larimarplant: dogwoodcharacter sketch: you used to live a simple life. you had a schedule - you woke up, ate breakfast, went to school, ate lunch, came back home, watched tv and surfed the internet until the light of your computer was the only light left in the room, ate dinner, surfed the internet some more, and then went to bed. it was organised, manageable, and neat. it was a nice life. you had enjoyed it, until a motherfucking broadsword fell through your roof and impaled itself upon your television. deadass. a medieval broadsword, in 2k17. your tv actually flickered back to life for a moment (always a dependable one, that one), with some weird lady appearing on it, saying ‘hey, so you’re the new chosen one, here’s your sword, other stuff will follow, good luck’. and then your tv went back to being dead. what. the. fuck. just happened. you’re a grad student, you don’t have time to go save the world like some reincarnated king arthur shit, you have a degree to earn. ho boy. that degree. … actually, wait. kicking evil ass, rescuing damsels and dudes in distress, and being that king arthur shit was all you ever wanted as a kid, before being an english student in the twenty-first century killed your soul. ‘well, fuck me,’ you said as you look at the sword sticking out of your expired tv. ‘won’t i need some fucking armour.’ there was an ugly clanging sound and then a suit of armour fell from that hole in your roof onto your dead tv, onto your new broadsword (or old, it’s kind of impossible to tell). you walk over and pick that shit up, and put it over your sweater and jeans. then you pull that sword out of your beloved tv (rip). you feel its power crackle between your fingers. or maybe that’s just electricity from your dying tv. either way, it’s badass. you sort of vaguely wonder, ‘okay, what now,’ and then something blasts off more of your roof, and the next thing you know some mage has landed in your living room. not on the tv this time, to his credit. you look at the gigantic hole in your ceiling. ‘i’ll be calling the contractor about this. you’re going to pay for this to be fixed.’ you sigh and pick up your phone. ‘why can’t you just use the door like a normal person.’ ‘our people do not use doors,’ said the mage, and you suddenly have flashbacks to the mummy returns (dir. stephen sommers, 2001) (iconic film btw). your phone suddenly glows purple and flies out of your hand, and goddamn gets smaSHED against the WALL. you are so CLOSE to losing it this morning. you glare at the intruder. he waves his hands at you like an idiot. ‘well, fight me!’ he says. ‘you fucker, you bet i’m going to beat the shit out of your ass.’ you find yourself remembering how awesome evy the librarian was in the mummy returns, and channelling her kickass vibes. your first nemesis (you guess) blasts you with an orange spell, and you deflect it with your sword. he snarls and fires a green one, which you deflect again, and it burns a hole in your couch. oh, you are so pissed right now. dumbass comes at you with a white one, but you hold your sword just so that it bounces off into his chest, and he vaporises like some scott pilgrim (dir. edgar wright, 2010) shit, but without cool video game tokens. how the fuck are you going to pay for your roof, your tv, your phone, and your fucking sofa, then?? a letter flutters through your fucking broken ceiling (what the FUCK, people). you rip open it and it contains a handwritten note that reads ‘hey sorry about that, p.s. you are the saviour of the world now’ and a motherfucking form to apply for an invoice for damages. god, you hate paperwork. but whatever, you’ll take it. you actually end up having to do a lot of this sort of paperwork, now that the medieval-knights-saving-the-world shit takes place in the horribly form-reliant twenty-first century. but saving the world definitely has its perks. it’s a good workout for one, kicking ass, and you’ve gotten pretty good at using that sword. you were able to drive off the next godzilla attack on boston harbour using that sword; now godzilla respects your authority and won’t bother you again. the tv lady turns out to actually be merlin (who knew merlin was a woman?? sweet), and she teaches you some sweet spells, like how to open a portal to a ghost world and all; except you ‘accidentally’ let some ghost-animals ‘swim out’ of the portal and ‘become’ your battle partners … your friendly animal-y knights of the round (kitchen) table, hehe (okay, you lied, you summoned them to be your familiars - you can have more than one! - but they were so cute!!). also saving the world is nice, because 1. everyone still lives, including lin-manuel miranda, and 2. damsels and dudes in distress are so grateful, and many have become your friends, including lin-manuel miranda (you talk about how male and white mainstream interpretation of arthurian legend is, and form a pact to write a book to call out fuckboy professors about this and do an all-female poc folk musical adaptation of tristan and isolde. it’s lit). you still have to go to school and complete that degree, though. you want it, even though a mysterious council of hero-supporters are pretty much covering all your expenses in return for saving the world so many times. just have to be both brains and brawns. anyway, life’s been even more stressful, now you’re balancing being both king-arthur-born-again and a grad student, but adventure is sick and you’re really good at doing both those jobs. and although you still long for those old, simple days of eating cereal whilst watching brooklyn nine nine, you love fighting the good fight, and you wouldn’t give it up for the world. … okay, you spoke too soon. if a full 8 hours of sleep was on the table, you’d probably seriously consider it.favours: horus, bake-kujiramisfortune: icarussong: greek tragedy by the wombats

reb celebrates 300

[brajeshupadhyay]

My Other Car is a…Mercedes Camper Van?

Harley Sitner was in the Dumbo neighborhood of Brooklyn for a wedding in March, feeling as if he’d just been sprayed by a skunk. Mr. Sitner’s hometown, Seattle, where he owns a camper-van restoration, repair and rental business called Peace Vans, was the site of one of one of the first huge coronavirus outbreaks. “People were like, ‘Stay away,’” he recalled.

Back home, with peak road-trip season approaching, his employees reported a rush of cancellations on rental vans. Mr. Sitner had just hired a “super-awesome” marketing manager and began thinking he might have to lay her off.

School was canceled and all but the most essential businesses were ordered to shut down. Mr. Sitner was compelled to give his employees a month off, save for a skeletal crew that stuck around to perform essential services like repairs.

“We were looking at some pretty significant revenue black holes,” he said.

Then, in mid-April, the phone started ringing in the repair shop.

“People started thinking they’d have a summer, and wanted their classic Volkswagens looked at,” Mr. Sitner said.

But it wasn’t just that. There was also a run on a new line of modern camper vans his company had announced with Mercedes-Benz at the Chicago Auto Show in February: produced by a third-party manufacturer called Driverge, sleeping four apiece, and starting at $69,000 without kitchen and cabinetry, $89,000 with.

“We sold like 28 of them in 30 days,” Mr. Sitner said. “Some people are saying they’re not getting on a plane for two years or never going to Europe again.”

Mr. Sitner is 52, with a 10-year-old daughter named Eden Peach. In person, he projects a tender, Michael Stipe-ish vibe, wistfully remembering that “until recently, we hugged so many of our customers” and brewed espresso in the shop’s front office.

He first became acquainted with Peace Vans as a customer, running his Vanagon (a.k.a. the Volkswagen T3) in and out of the shop, in Seattle’s industrial SoDo neighborhood, between jaunts to Burning Man. In 2013 he learned from the shop owner that he planned to close the business, and Mr. Sitner convinced him to hand it over instead.

Over the years, Mr. Sitner has served clientele from aging hippies to Instagramming millennials, and all political persuasions. (In the lot of Peace Vans there was an old VW bus from Iowa awaiting restoration with a National Rifle Association sticker on the driver’s-side window and a painting of the word “Peace” on the side panel.) But the venture with Mercedes, which began casually after he began buying the chassis of the brand’s Metris van from a dealership down the street, has brought a new kind of buyer, Mr. Sitner said.

Ed Stevens, a 51-year-old tech entrepreneur in Dallas, had planned to take his wife, Robin, and two adult children scuba diving in the Caribbean when the pandemic took hold. The virus’s spread, he said, was the reason he started looking to buy a camper van.

“We canceled the reservation and hunkered down, and then I started thinking, ‘I can work from anywhere, Robin’s taking a class online, and we thought we’d just cruise the whole country,” he said. “As soon as I saw the official partnership between Mercedes and Harley, that was the motivating factor.”

(“The idea of building on a Nissan or a Ford light van did not meet the quality bar we wanted,” Mr. Sitner said, explaining his choice of chassis.)

Mark and Linda Kimlin had just spent the winter in Spain before returning to New York City in mid-March, feeling “very lucky to escape unscathed,” said Mr. Kimlin, 63. But New York was itself about to get scathed, and with the lease up on their Upper East Side apartment, the Kimlins high-tailed it to a home they owned in New Paltz, north of the city. (They expect to return to the city when things “settle down,” Ms. Kimlin, 65, said.)

Their daughter had planned to get married in California in July (the celebration has been postponed, though not the ceremony) and, Mr. Kimlin said, “it seemed like a good time for wide-open spaces and not getting on an airplane.”

His son-in-law-to-be had driven a simpler version of the Metris camper van and shared his positive experience with Mr. Kimlin, who bought one from Peace Vans on the strength of that recommendation and the fact that his wife “likes camping, but with a comfy bed.”

Talk to any camper-van owner and they’ll tout the relatively small size of their vehicles compared to traditional RVs and the taller Mercedes Sprinter vans that many Amazon delivery drivers whiz around in, explaining that the more compact Mercedes Metris and VW Vanagons are easily usable as second cars in dense neighborhoods in major metropolitan areas.

But they’re also great for when a wildfire jumps the highway and bears down on your house — the precise scenario Naomi Neilson stared down in mid-June at her house in Shell Beach, Calif.

“Everyone was like, ‘Where are you going to go?’ And I was like, ‘I don’t know, I’m going to take my van and go,” said Ms. Neilson, 46, who owns a Metris camper van and runs a bathroom-fixture company called Native Trails. “I just threw some food and drinks in the fridge and was ready to go. It took me 10 minutes. I went down the coast a little way and just relaxed. I didn’t end up needing to evacuate for the whole night, but it was nice to be able to just throw a couple things in there and know I had a place to sleep and cook for as long as I needed.”

Of course, this is something owners of Volkswagen Vanagons have taken comfort in for decades. While Metris owners like Mr. Stevens never considered buying such a lovable relic of hippie culture because he “didn’t want to be spending two days somewhere while my transmission gets shipped in from God knows where,” VW owners like Brian Kolonick of Cleveland think the hassle’s worth it because, he said, “my kids think I’m cool for a minute.”

“It’s the way it smells, the way it drives, the way people look at you — you’re bringing them some level of joy,” said Mr. Kolonick, 42, who works in digital health for a company called Conversa in Portland, Ore.

He rented a Vanagon from Mr. Sitner before he bought one, and said some VW scenesters turn their nose up at him because he “can’t repair things” and has to call a mechanic. He’ll often visit Vanagon forums online, where he occasionally finds die-hards dissing the Subaru engines in some custom conversions, arguing that they’re ��taking away from the slow-running intensity” of the stock motor.

And it’s fair to surmise that some VW devotees think Metris owners are a tad soft. “We have friends who have them, and I’ve got to admit, we joke about their vans,” said Jim Samuel, 58, a realtor and University of Oregon grad in Seattle who named his 1991 Vanagon “Bertha,” after the Grateful Dead song. “But it comes down to people, ultimately.”

Joayne Andrews agrees. A 72-year-old retiree, she lives in Cathedral City, Calif., just east of Palm Springs, and has owned 26 Volkswagens in her lifetime, four of them vans. A Jetta is her daily ride, but when she really wants to get away, she’s got a 2000 Eurovan at home and an ’82 Westfalia stashed in Seattle that Mr. Sitner’s crew has been restoring for the past two years.

When she visits friends up and down the West Coast, she thinks her vans make her a better houseguest. “It’s nice to be able to pull into their driveway and not take up space in their house,” she said. “We’ve got our own little studio apartment.”

As for the Metris campers, her neighbor has one and Ms. Andrews thinks “they’re lovely.”

She then added, “They’re super-expensive, but probably with what I had to have my van restored, I could have bought one.”

The post My Other Car is a…Mercedes Camper Van? appeared first on Sansaar Times.

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[swanboy]

Growing Apart

I recently visited a friend finishing up their Master’s in grad school. They are plagued by ridiculous overwork and schedules, hurting themselves through a serious lack of sleep and essentially paying a school in order to just take tests, not go to class, and do a ton of lab work for free. What bothered me can be divided into a few categories:

1. Lifestyle: "You have to be willing to put in enough effort to essentially take years off of your life if you want to do great things, especially if you are a non-U.S. citizen trying to make it in the U.S. No one can do anything great unless they’re willing to overwork (80+ hour work weeks!) and lead an unbalanced life for a while.”

My view: WTF!?! How is such a lifestyle ever good? Why would you subject yourself to such torture for something as useless as an accomplishment? Are you just trying to find ways to justify your current way of life which you let yourself fall into? If it’s not saving lives, what value is in it? Further, living in such a way is counter to what the Bible teaches us on how we treat our bodies, and counter to science which shows us how destructive such living is. Killing yourself to reach such fleeting heights of accomplishment seems worthless. What good does it do you to get a few hours ahead of some other human in similar pursuits? There are always other avenues, there are better and more humane ways to live.

2. Viewpoint on the SDA Mission in Life: “SDAs are taught to be lazy. They are never pushed to work hard and are thus doomed to mediocrity. Those that have trouble working hard use religion and spirituality to justify their laziness and reach academic circles they have not truly earned.”

My View: I see where he’s coming from on this. It makes me question though: what value is there in great accomplishments for the SDA which do not directly relate to saving souls? To what heights of human accomplishment should SDAs strive for? Should we as SDAs strive to be the best educated, the best athletes, the best in category XYZ? At what cost should we work to attain these goals? Should we even try to be the best--especially when the best must often work without weeks, possibly years on end? If we are not willing to put in that level of effort, what is reasonable? If we agree that too much effort is not good, doesn’t that tend to push us towards being lazy/not putting in enough effort?

3. Viewpoints on Past Schooling: “My college was useless and did not prepare me for anything in grad school. It set me severely behind others.”

My issue: While I can agree that certain core classes that would have helped him greatly in postgrad were not available at our college and that there were little to no research opportunities, I would not say our college was useless. Though not ideal in some academics, I believe it did teach many fundamentals that others do not always get exposure to. Going into research, he felt unprepared--but that is not entirely the fault of the school. Instead of being bitter about not having enough opportunity, he should celebrate the things he did learn which have been and will be useful later on. Perhaps he had to catch up in certain areas, but he should value the professors that were able to push him forward instead of dismissing almost everything as useless and not worth his time.

4. Viewpoints on a certain groups of people: “I don’t like anyone in city X with religion Y. They all have a bad vibe and are basically children. I also don’t like anyone of culture Z, they all act in an annoying way”

My view: Making sweeping derogatory statements on entire large groups of people is almost never good or correct. There are always people that do not fit the stereotype. Such statements are bigoted and close-minded, often revealing a smallness of mind and unchristian-like character. That said, if confronted on this, he would probably qualify it by saying “most of these people are that way” instead of “all”. While he may make a good point on some people, it overall feels bad and bitter--perhaps better defining the traits he dislikes would improve these statements. Coming from the highschool he did, I understand his mindset on the people/city there, but I feel he really needs to move past the sweeping generalizations and instead focus on specifics--the why. I’m sure there are some people he does like there, but hearing the initial words just depressed me.

Summary: I think my friend is a bit lost right now. Cursing the circumstances which have brought him to this point, he is bitter about so many things. I don’t think he’s really including God in his life. At most, it seems he includes God as an afterthought, if that. It’s likely he just does the motions when around certain people. All of this has likely led him to reject the religion of his childhood and everything and almost everyone associated with it. While it has definite issues and he lived in an area which had more subversive issues than most, it seems he is in need of positive perspective which could be found when interacting with the more faithful Christians normally found in smaller groups rather than the empty Christians found in massive congregations.

What can I do for him now? Three things perhaps. First, I need to live better myself so I can be an example for him, especially in trying situations. Right now, I am deficient in many areas, especially the spiritual and physical (exercise) areas. I am not living a God-filled life, though I do have a strong foundation of belief. This is an ongoing struggle for me, but perhaps I can use this experience with my friend to push me closer to God. Second, I need to get better at comforting and encouraging people, especially my friend. Sometimes they just need comfort in their present struggles, a ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry on rather than a logical dissertation on whether or not they are doing the right thing right now. I feel bad for questioning so many of my friend’s decisions instead of encouraging him. Lastly, when possible, I should bring my friend into a wholesome Christian environment where he would feel comfortable and welcome. This seems like a tall order, but I believe it is possible with God’s help.