#grabs u by the shoulders and shakes u

[corrosivesaints]

pacing my room like a middle aged detective do you understand hawkeye pierce is a tragic figure locked in the sisyphean sitcom structure. you can’t watch the finale and tell me with a straight face that hawkeye’s arc in it is not deeply heartbreaking. yes he’s the court jester, the jolly harlequin, but his mom died when he was ten & everybody keeps leaving him! all he wants is to heal people and bring joy and laughter! but he got removed from his life by the american war machine to work against an endless tide of Death and Human Suffering for years and he kept rolling that rock up that goddamn hill until it rolled back down and crushed him. he survived, but my god. my god the cost it had on him. do you understand? do you? he’s hamlet he’s cassandra he’s the goddamn Hanged Man. his cousin tried to kill him when he was a kid. he nearly killed himself trying to save every life that landed on his table. he was stuck in purgatory for 3 and/or 11 years. he’s in the goddamn iliad. troy is burning, and he’s not sure if he’s getting out

[fun-esta]

[inqua]

another day another tragic baby 😔💚

[bri-cheeses]

“Have you ever been in love?”

The question seems to take Evan by surprise. “What?”

Barty repeats the question, shifting up into a sitting position. His hands dig into the ground, still damp from last night’s rain. “Have you ever been in love?”

There’s a beat of silence. Then, looking down at his feet, Evan quietly answers, “Yes.”

Suddenly, Barty is mad at himself for asking. He can’t even say why he asked in the first place; he simply had the thought, and being the impulsive person he is, he asked without thinking. Now he wishes he hadn’t, if only to have avoided this odd burning in his chest caused by Evan’s answer. And really, he should drop the topic, based on downcast tint to Evan’s response, but he can’t seem to let it go. So instead, he presses the issue.

“When?” he asks, looking intently at Evan.

At that, Evan looks to his left, purposely avoiding eye contact with Barty. He stubs out his cigarette on the grass next to him, a thin curl of smoke rising up from it as he does so. “A long, long time ago.” His voice is dark with something Barty can’t name.

“Did it end well?”

Evan cuts him a look. “Who said it ended?”

At his words, something twists inside Barty. Suddenly there’s a lump in his throat as he works to get out his next sentence. “Well, you said a long time ago. So I thought that it was a, uh, past thing.”

“Yeah. It was a long time ago. When I… fell in love.”

Barty knows he’s the one who started this conversation, but he really hates the way Evan says love in reference to some mystery person. At least he used past tense, though, meaning it’s a thing of the past.

“So what happened?” Barty questions.

“They didn’t want me in the way I wanted them. Still don’t want me that way.” There’s something bitter in Evan’s tone, and he’s gone back to refusing to look at Barty. In contrast, Barty stares at him intently. He feels as though he’ll be able to see through Evan’s exterior and into his insides, where all his secrets are hidden, if he only looks hard enough.

“Who was it?”

“Does it matter?” Evan’s voice is biting as he sharply turns his head back towards Barty.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Barty leans back onto his elbows, tearing his gaze from Evan. It’s almost comical how their positions have changed; now, Evan stares at Barty, and Barty looks out over the lake in an effort to avoid his gaze.

“It was no one important, okay?”

“Oh.” Something settles in Barty when he hears that, even if Evan’s tone contrasts with his dismissive words. “They were—still are—an idiot, though. Just for the record.”

Evan laughs in that disbelieving way of his, as if he’s sharing an inside joke with himself. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Barty says definitively. “I mean, you’re perfect. And whoever can’t see that is an idiot.”

“Perfect?”

“Yup.” Barty means it, too.

“Yeah, well,” Evan scoffs, “it isn’t good enough for them. So it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, you’re good enough for me,” Barty says hotly. “So don’t worry about that idiot. Because you and me? We’re best friends, and you’ll always be good enough for me. You know that, right?”

Evan is avoiding Barty’s gaze again. He picks at the grass next to him, focusing on that instead. “Right,” he says somewhat bitterly.

“I mean it,” Barty insists. “You are.”

Evan looks at him, smiling sadly. “Thanks, Bee. But it’s getting cold. I think I’ll head back inside if that’s all right with you.”

“I—okay. Yeah, uh, sure.”

With that, Evan gets up and begins the walk back to the castle. Barty watches him go, thinking their entire exchange over.

He’s not entirely sure where the conversation went sour enough to get Evan to leave, but clearly something must’ve caused his abrupt departure. Even if Barty had thought he had said the right things to get Evan to cheer up again. He had meant what he said, too; Evan always would be good enough for him. Barty honestly couldn’t imagine a better best friend.

So Evan shouldn’t, Barty thinks heatedly, have ever been hung up on some random person who couldn’t even see how amazing he is.

Barty continues to sit there, close to the shore of the lake, and watches Evan’s retreating form. And as he watches Evan reach up to wipe at his eyes, trying and failing to act like it was nonchalant gesture, he resolves to find out who Evan was talking about. And he’s going to make them, whoever it may be, pay for how they hurt Barty’s best friend.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

??? can u not take bio as a grade 12 in high school in usa??????? whats wrong w ur education system u dont provide bio to twelfth graders????? u dont have bio 30????? do u not have english 30 either???? foundations math 30????? what r ur seniors learning.......

[spocks-kaathyra]

going from my cool transgender college dorm to the Weird Old White Men Convention is soooo freaky like why am I experiencing misogyny for the first time

[fatcowboys]

im begging people who make posts featuring trans people to include fat people. and i dont just mean people who are small fat - this doesn't mean dont include them, please do, but please also include actual fat people i am begging you. i want to see trans gender noncomfortming fat people being celebrated just as much as a skinny person in the same outfit. i want to see fat trans people at all stages of transition in whatever that means for them. i want to see fat people (who are often pushing aesthetic norms just by existing as fat people) at their most extra and i want to see fat people being sexy and i want to see fat people. i want to see fat people

[itsjaywalkers]

the most unrealistic thing about the overprotective james series is that james is so popular with girls and always dating despite being completely obsessed with regulus . like wdym this idiot gets bitches??? his gf asks his opinion on her new jacket and james tells her how well it'd suit regulus, she shows him this new eyeshadow she bought and james can only think about how it's the exact shade of regulus' eyes, she wants him to come over and "sure babe but can regulus come too?"

[byanyan]

blowing glitter in @grimesucker 's faceㅤㅤ(x)

ㅤㅤ" uh, me? "ㅤan unspoken 'duh' rings in their voice.ㅤ" i'm the oldest, which means i take over when you die, obviously. ...and when you're like, so fucked up that you kinda look like someone should just put ya outta your misery. "

hands go to their hips, and byan smirks across the room at dox, clearly unbothered by his attempted (and failed) display of intimidation.

ㅤㅤ" you can break outta here if y'want, but i got no doubt in my mind that i can drop your ass back to the ground while you're in this sorry fuckin' state. plus, if you behave, i might be so nice as t' bring ya some water. "

[i-eat-deodorant]

just know......... you have one soul out here........... who really enjoys said crackfic................. so when you ever release more......... if you do.......... you have at least One person who'll read it like scripture..........

anon you are my hero i'm going to print this ask out and stick it on my wall

[juregim]

i was so annoyed with my co worker because she keeps talking and whining about her roster and a lot about just absolutely nonsense drama she has with them and she gets so out of sorts when i refuse to treat it as a big deal. and for the longest time i was thinking 1. how does she have a roster list that looks like a telephone book? 2. why is there always drama with at least 40% of them? and i just realised the answer to both questions. it’s because she literally doesn’t have any standards. she’s literally never said no to a guy trying to start something with her even when she doesn’t like them or it’s glaringly obvious they’re incompatible. like she’s literally told stories about how an ugly guy tried to hit on her and a week later i’ll ask who she was talking to on the phone and it’ll be that guy. and she’ll literally gag after the call ends but won’t stop their communication. kinda sad to see a 23 year old like that tbh

[1eos]

this is so vkei coded

[poppurini]

awww that's okay, i'll send you asks then!

anyways this

inspired me hehehe

imagine having history class with lilia and fawning and idolising this fae general with eyes dyed crimson with the blood of his fallen enemies who brought victory after victory to briar valley and you get embarrassed when you notice lilia's paying attention to your fangirling and this sketch of a 190cm tall general and he says:

"Oh dear, don't stop now! I'm quite intrigued by the picture you paint of this... general... Enlighten me, dear, what exactly catches your fancy?"

USER HISUI-DREAMER GOVERNMENT NAME RINNA LEECH STOP HARASSING ME CHALLENGE ( IMPOSSIBLE )

[not13opossoms]

You give scout energy ngl

WHATTTT THANK YOUU RAHHHGGGAGAUZHZ!!!!!!!!!

[tomboyyyaoi]

ARE WE TALKING VAMERY SONGS. personally im a big fan of Rule #2 Moonlight by Fish in a Birdcage,,, esp for how they are in the manga/a post manga ending i think. makes me think of the kiss fistbump scene / :( <3

oh my fuckin god

[wlwaerith]

if i think about this too hard for too long i start throwing up blood