#gotta look at them like “are you Not allowed or do i just have to pay ?” before they put the dials back
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SMOKED | l.hs 이희승 | Collide pt. 2
bestfriend!heesung x bestfriend!reader
READ PT 1 HERE.
warnings: smut (mdni), pwp (plot's there if you look hard enough), unprotected sex, overstimulation (sort of?), no use of "y/n", light switch!dynamics from both reader and heesung, car sex, unsafe driving lowkey, dryhumping, minor argument, heesung is down bad honestly.
wc: 3.8k
synopsis: days have passed after your first hook up with Heesung, though neither of you have said anything about it. Instead, you continue your search for a good one night stand somewhere else, but your mind and body know where you should be.
a/n: wow! the moral obligation I had to finish this before posting anything else was crazy, but after a huge block it's finally here. If you think this is better than pt1 it's because it is, but it's also because it has been approved by the one and only @molloygendered !!!!! my bestfriend and editor. he wanted to review this again before posting it but I'm a kid on sugar so I held him at gunpoint to approve this. any feedback is appreciated !!! hope you enjoy.
4 unread messages.
sorry to bother u so late
can u pick m up? pls
[Address]
idk if ure awake sorry
Heesung's screen lit up on his desk, breaking his focus from the heated game in front of him. He unlocked his phone, the other hand still gripping the controller tightly. His eyes moved quickly from the texts popping up and then back to the screen, which nearly got him killed.
The team won eventually, but just barely. Heesung logged out as soon as it was over. He spent the whole time wanting to check his phone.
“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”Jake yelled at him through the call. “We almost lost."
“My bad. Gotta go,” he said in a monotone voice, showing no remorse as he hung up the call despite Jake's groans.
He looked back down at his phone and texted back a short "omw" before getting up from his chair, stretching his arms. His bones cracked, so loud it made him wince at the sound.
With quick steps, he changed into something a bit more decent, just a plain white t-shirt on top of his cargo pants, which had been slowly losing their black tone after each wash. The chains on his thick belt dangled as he walked out of his room and began to head out of his apartment, taking his keys from the cat-shaped key holder you had put on his wall. He had been surprised the first time he hung his keys and a white cat popped up. It was supposed to be a prank, but Heesung never found it in him to take it off despite the fact that it didn't match with the overall vibe of his room one bit. The kitten disappeared inside the box as he left.
The distance to your location was short, or perhaps Heesung was driving a little too fast. Either way, he arrived about fifteen minutes after telling you that he was on his way to pick you up. He parked in front of a small, black gate which led to some stairs. The complex seemed fairly little, but somewhat cozy, with small balconies filled with pots and all kinds of houseplants. Although it was past midnight and dark, he could still make out the colors of the flowers that were placed by the edges of the windows, leaves moving along with the wind.
Leaving the car on, he hopped out, leaning back against the driver's door to wait for you. Admittedly, it was ill-intended. He hoped your date would see him and would be thrown off.
The wait felt like eternity. When the door opened, your figure finally appeared in a white dress with black dots, just a bit above the knee. The cleavage allowed for the black choker to stand out, your name's initial dangling softly. Heesung had always wished it was an H instead.
You smiled at Heesung when you saw him, tilting your head in confusion because why was he out of the car? Heesung smiled back at you, a soft beam on his lips. Then looked to your side when a boy appeared next to you.
He eyed your guy up and down as he said goodbye to you. He was tall like you liked them, with flawlessly tan skin and a face that was nothing short of charming, with a sort of boyish appeal to him, and it was obvious why you had said yes to a date in the first place. Heesung swallowed hard, his own jealousy burning down his throat.
You didn't seem too enchanted by the guy, though, looking almost uncomfortable as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. You fake-giggled (at least, he thought you did) and grinned at him politely before making your way to Heesung. The guy appeared to be a little turned off by you getting picked up by another man, for he did not take his eyes off of Heesung as he walked to the passenger's seat to open the door for you, a gesture that you were used to. Before hopping back in, Heesung winked at him, a smug grin forming. After that, you two were off speeding down the road. He'll take the long way home, he decided.
“Thanks for picking me up,” you broke the silence after a few minutes of driving. “You didn't have to wait outside though, it's freezing.”
"I was trying to scare him off,” Heesung chuckled, a half joke that managed to pass as just something playful, making you laugh and hit his arm.
“I don't think he liked that,” you said after your laugh subsided.
“I think it was you who didn't like him.”
You went silent for a bit, sulking on your seat.
“So, how was it?”
“I liked him,” you mumbled, biting your lip in thought. “It was good, yeah.”
“But?” Heesung inquired, raising an eyebrow.
“I guess I was hoping for something more... intense?”
Heesung turned his face, pretending to check something on the rearview mirror so that you wouldn't notice him biting his lip. He hoped you were referring to him, about the intimate moment you two had shared a few nights before, about the bite that was still decorating your shoulder so beautifully. A purple light enough to resemble a bruise; poor clumsy you, tripped and hit yourself with his mouth.
“Intense how?” he asked.
“To hell if I know,” you shrugged.
He furrowed his eyebrows, glancing your way quickly.
“You clearly do know.”
“I don't. If I did I would tell you, Hee,” you said, confused.
“Like how you told me you were off to see another douchebag?” Heesung spat.
His words made you quickly turn your head. And although he wasn't looking at you, you knew he could feel your glare burning through his skin. The sudden change in attitude had been nothing short of baffling. He seemed to keep his eyes on the road to avoid your stare rather than for safety. You couldn't tell if bouncing his leg was anger, anxiety, both, or something entirely different.
“How do you know he was a douchebag?! I told you it was fine!” you whined.
“Did he even make you come?” he asked.
You opened your mouth to fight back, but the only sound that came out was your breath hitching. It had been such a simple question, but it ignited the memories of your one time affair with him. The soft promises, the surpassed expectations, the sweet, sweet release. Your body began to tingle in the places where his hands had lingered, and you found yourself shuddering on the seat. Of course Heesung had asked that, while knowing your answer, too.
“Sex is not all about that.” you said finally, voice low with uncertainty.
“Oh, so that's why you fuck every idiot with a mushroom cut.” Heesung mumbled.
“What the hell is your problem? You don't even know him!” your ears rang as your voice raised in pitch.
“Oh I know him; clerk job moron who thinks sticking it in is enough.”
You tried to ignore the fact that he was a receptionist at your esthetician’s clinic who you happened to make conversation with during a long wait. He had been bold enough to ask you to grab dinner and two days later you were kissing in the elevator of his one-bedroom apartment.
That kiss had set your expectations through the roof, hoping that you had landed your perfect match. And it had been nice, sort of, but not like you had wished for, or had imagined. The way you had envisioned things and the way said things happened were complete opposites. Maybe it had been your fault for already having something in mind.
The conflict his words caused reflected in your face, a turmoil evident as you stumbled out your next words.
“I still don't understand why it bothers you so much. I know I'm sleeping with a bunch of idiots.”
“You're hellbent on letting these assholes touch you.” he grunted.“ I can't stand it, I don't get it. It's pointless, it's…”
You were barely able to make out the words; he was just rambling, or so you concluded.
“How is that your problem?” you cut him off, bringing him back from his thoughts.
Only then, Heesung realized the slip up. Yes, you were right, and regardless of how close the two of you were, it was ultimately your call who you slept with, which bothered Heesung to no end. Why were you so against calling him again? Why didn't you ask to have sex again? Why did he finally have you, only for you to slip through his fingers?
He hoped you hadn't caught onto it, but you knew him too well not to. Everything made sense after; his seemingly sudden offer, waiting for you outside of the car, this angry fit.
“I said, how's that your problem? What about it?” you pushed, in response to Heesung's answer, which had been silence.
“You can do so much better than that.” he finally said.
“So,” you smiled at him. “Think you can be my better?”
Heesung pulled the car over, so quickly your body flew towards the door, and he almost hit his chest with the steering wheel. His grip on it was tight, and he began panting. You thanked god about the empty, dark road, otherwise it could've ended in a nasty crash.
Both of your eyes meet, his pupils blown out with a hint of a gleam in them. There was hope, a tad bit of anger, and an undeniable desire. His hands were twitching, itching to touch you, and you didn't remember ever feeling so wanted.
Heesung's gaze slowly drifted to your lips, almost involuntarily. Your mouth fell open to breath, uneven and quick. The car was cold, but your temperature went up like a fever.
“Are you going to kiss me?”
His gaze met yours once more. “Can I?”
You nodded. It was all he needed to pull you in, holding your face with both hands as gently but firmly as he could. Afraid, in a weird way, that you would disappear if he let go. That this was all a sick dream from his hungry mind and that he was soon to wake up alone, in bed, with you far away from his grasp.
Despite how much he wanted to keep it slow, the kiss was just plainly instinctual. It had started soft, as if he wanted it to last forever, which he did. Then it was relentless, like nothing was enough, with your faces pressed so tightly together that you almost felt you couldn't breathe properly. Heesung allowed you a few seconds of air before he was onto you again.
It was hard to keep up with him, but you managed, because this was what you wanted anyway. It was hard to tell if you would ever get to feel something like this again; the desperation, your blood pounding in your ears from the anticipation before he made the move, and your whole body shaking in excitement as if it had a memory of its own, and could recognize the touch.
“Backseat,” you muttered between kisses.
He heard you, loud and clear, he just couldn't stop himself. He wanted more. Heesung wanted to do so much with you, and to you, that he was unable to do anything at all. He couldn't bring himself to separate his mouth from yours despite needing the air, and his hands roamed mindlessly and only for the sake of getting a feel. The once deliberate and calculated Heesung was now a wreck in your hands, melting in the heat like a popsicle. Sweet.
But you really had to pull him off, otherwise you'd turn blue. Your nails scratched his scalp as you yanked him back, making him whimper in the process. The way he looked burned in your memory; eyes half-lidded, lips pink and swollen, parted, panting. Even with his eyes nearly closed, you could see his darkened eyes.
“I said backseat, Heesung,” you repeated, letting go of his hair. “Do you want to fuck me or not?”
In every single position there was. Fingers, tongue, cock, he wanted to give you everything and more, so he scrambled to the backseat as you had ordered.
This is who you were; demanding and controlling. That one time he manhandled you? Only that, a one time thing, now you wouldn't give in so easily. Not after the little jealousy number he pulled, at least. You weren't all that resilient yourself, but you would drag it as far as you could.
Heesung thought that he had chosen the worst type of clothing possible. Had he kept the sweatpants instead of changing into something else, then maybe the friction would've been more bearable. The rough material of his pants brushing against his cock made him groan whenever he slightly shifted. And when he finally found comfort, you seated yourself on his lap and grinded, hard.
“Ohfuck,” he whined, his hands flying to your hips to find some leverage. His nails dug into your sides. “You're gonna— I'm not gonna last.”
You grinded down again. And again, until you set your pace, ignoring his cries. The nails trying to claw at your skin drove you further despite the sting. As much as he tried to slow you down in the name of ‘lasting longer', he still thrusted his hips up to meet you halfway, though his eyes were tightly shut, and lips pressed in a straight line.
“Please, please baby, I don't wanna come yet, please.”
“Did I just hear The Lee Heesung begging?”
He looked up at you, teary eyed. His bangs were stuck to his forehead, as sweat had already begun to drip from his hair. That had been enough of an answer.
Yes, you had. It had been about the hottest thing you had ever heard as well. Usually confident Lee Heesung, always took the lead Lee Heesung, would rather die than humiliate himself Lee Heesung, whining and whimpering about coming too fast after some kissing and humping. That same Heesung that had been able to get not one, but three orgasms out of you before even getting close. It was a sight to see.
You stopped, and Heesung sighed in relief, although the calm didn't last long. As a smirk formed on your lips, his eyes grew panicked.
“If you come, I'll leave this car,” you said, rolling your hips again.
“No, no, no, no, no,” he whimpered. He squeezed his eyes shut again, the shape of his fingers imprinting onto your skin. Back then, when the two of you first had sex, this was the reality of what Heesung felt, even when he did a good job at not letting himself seem so desperate.
He'd be damned if he looked like a loser in front of you, or so he thought. Because now that your wet underwear was soaking his pants, he was a mess. A hard, pathetic mess, desperately trying not to burst in his jeans from having you on top of him.
You yourself didn't believe you could keep torturing him, only because you were also torturing yourself in the process. His hard length along with the rough fabric of his pants brushed against your clit in a way that sent jolts through your body. It was harsh and uncomfortable while still feeling good enough not to stop.
Heesung's hips twitched with a mind of their own, searching for release against his wishes. You halted, leaning your body back to unbuckle his belt. He groaned at the loss of contact though didn't complain any further, and instead helped you get rid of his restraintments quicker. His breath ghosted over your skin as he sighed in relief, which made you shudder.
His fingers went down to tease you under your dress, rubbing over the wetness seeping through your panties, and even with the layer in between, he could feel his fingers dampen. Heesung continued until you were left whining and attempting to grind your hips harder onto his hand. Only then did you feel him push the fabric to the side, and the tip of his cock pressed against your cunt.
After Heesung had you the first time, he knew that he couldn't let you go. Days went by where he would still feel your lips against his; the skin of your thighs, hot and sweaty, burning his cheeks as you closed your legs around his head while you came on his tongue. Not one day went by where he didn't fantasize about pushing himself inside you, and in some dreams, he would just stay there.
But nothing was able to prepare him for when it actually happened. He thought the desperate way in which you lowered yourself on his cock might be too much for you. In reality, it was almost too much for him, as it forced a deep moan from his throat.
It was a little painful, walls tightening and loosening around him to accommodate the quick stretch, though the sting was worth Heesung's debauched expression. You wondered why,despite the uncomfortable, small space, it felt so much better than the first time. Maybe it was how much both of you had seemed to crave it, or the car forcing even more proximity between you two, as the things you could do were limited. Regardless, you could feel your lower region sticky and warm with the slick that had, apparently, dripped out of you and spread around your thighs and ass.
You could barely hear your over breathing over Heesung's heavy one. His hands massaged the skin of your waist where he held himself, mostly to ground himself to earth, or so you guessed, because he looked completely gone. His cheeks cherry red and his lips a peach pink, and you succumbed to the urge to kiss him.
This time, it was slow and calculated. He took the time to feel the rest of you, from threading his fingers in your hair, to ghosting his fingers over your spine from under the dress. You didn't fall behind, though, raising his shirt as much as you could to run your nails over your stomach, stopping to feel his muscles tense beneath your hands as you began to move your hips.
“Slow, baby, please,” he breathed out, it came out way more high pitched than he intended to.
As much as you wanted to keep messing with him, the world had seemed to fade away, leaving you two alone with the car and the small piece of road that you were parked in, and you didn't feel like breaking the moment just yet. You placed your hands on his shoulders for better stability, and rested your forehead on the crook of his neck.
Whispers of praises poured from his lips. You're beautiful, you're amazing, could stay here forever, and another handful that got lost between all the shit's and fuck’s that also came nonstop. He followed all of his words and phrases by kissing your neck, sometimes even biting. You might find a mark when you look in the mirror, but you cared little about that. Instead, you decided to leave a mark of your own, sucking and biting on the most visible place that you could think of. That's when he began to meet your movements, thrusting up messily in an attempt to pick up a pace.
“Say you're—,” he gulped, interrupting himself. “You're mine.”
“Always have been,” you smiled against the light red bite mark.
Your voice as you rode his cock kept driving him closer to the edge. Every moan and whine just made him go faster, having already been close to his orgasm from the grinding before. And as you grew tired, it felt as if he was regaining some form of control. Heesung smirked when you laid, practically limp, against him, allowing him to set the speed that he wanted. He remembered that he loved being in control as much as he had loved giving it to you.
“F-faster,” you pleaded lowly.
Heesung pouted, even when you couldn't see him. “No manners, sweetheart?”
Most likely, you were about to pay a small price for threatening him to leave.
You swallowed, so loud you were sure he had heard. “Please.”
“What? I didn't hear you.”
“Go faster, Hee, please!” you nearly yelled. It had been hard to get the words out after getting him where you wanted.
“There we go!”
Were you being pushed down on his cock or was he pushing up into you? By this point, you weren't really sure. What you were certain about, though, was that he reached wherever you needed him to, and the squelching sounds were at its loudest.
“Was he good like me?” Heesung asked, grunting through his teeth. “Were you thinking about me while he fucked you?”
He wasn't expecting to get answers, and he didn't. You were too focused on the feeling of your body overheating from the inside out, and all of your muscles tensing. Your walls clamped around him involuntarily as pushed you closer to the orgasm that you had been chasing since the beginning of your date a few hours ago.
Heesung wanted you to finish first, he truly tried, but there was no way to stop the waves of pure pleasure that hit as he came, and the fact that he got to come inside of you just made it hit harder, and you had to help him ride out his climax because he really couldn't move, just kept himself there with his brows furrowed.
You were close as well, so you didn't really stop despite Heesung reaching his orgasm first. Even through his over sensitivity, he helped you reach your own high. He sneaked his hand between your bodies to rub messy circles on your clit. You kept it slow on him, but he went fast.
It didn't take long for you after that. Feeling you on his cock as you orgasmed almost made him hard again, if it wasn't so late and you hadn't been going at it for what felt like forever—not that he was complaining—. He got to watch your face contort into pure pleasure, better than any daydreams.
Heesung pressed his forehead against yours, unable to do anything other than show you something, whatever that something was. It lingered in the air, in the way he looked at you through his teary gaze. He kissed you, slower than ever before.
Whatever was going through his mind was deeper than lust, you could feel it in the way his lips moved so softly against yours, holding your face with both hands. You wondered if he knew that you didn't plan on slipping away again.
#eatyourfriendsfics#lee heesung smut#lee heesung x reader#reader x lee heesung#reader x idol#enhypen heesung#heesung smut#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#x reader#reader insert#fem reader
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Introducing Homicipher Characters to Your Plushies - Pt. 3 !
The Homicipher Characters come to you in hopes for whatever insanity they plan to drag you into, you instead have a different plan! Showing them your plushies!
Notes: Gender Neutral Reader! This Part includes: Ms. Bride, Ms. Nurse, Ms. Blue-Clad, Hairdresser, & Adami ! Girls Round 🫶
Previous Parts: One & Two
Ms. Bride
So cute !!!!!! Oh my gosh !!!! She loves your plushies so much !!!
She immediately wants to put them in cute little outfits! Please let her do so she'll love you even more than she does now!
You both have so much fun with your plushies, she loves them as equally as you do.
She memorizes all the names and any lore you may have and also their importance to you.
If you so desire she'd love to see up little tea parties or something with them. It'd be a lot of fun! You could put together your own wedding with them as the guests as well!!!
She did not know how much she adored plushies until she met you and she's so happy that she did. Please get her some plushies of her own. She'll got absolutely insane dressing them up and will never let them go.
Ms. Nurse
She loves you and your plushies a lot !!! You're so adorable when you talk about them and she loves when you do !!
As a nurse she completely understands how plushies and other small gifts can help comfort a person. So she knows just how important they are to you and will never judge you for that ever.
If she ever sees you remotely upset she will bring over the plushies she knows that brings you the most comfort and place them on you.
She finds some comfort in the plushies as well, and she would be over the moon if you got matching ones for you and her.
I'm not sure how much she knows how to sew, but if she sees a hole or anything on one she'll wrap it up in bandages to make sure the stuffing doesn't fall out!
It's hurt after all! She's gotta take care of it and help it and you feel better in any way that she is capable of.
Overall, she's a huge lover of plushies, and loves that you love them too! 10000% memorized all their names after that day you told her about them.
Ms. Blue-Clad
She seems like the type to like plushies a lot. Though I think she prefers when they're smaller plushies rather than the bigger ones.
She'll listen to you talk about them but I'm not sure how much she's actually memorizing about them. If anything she's just looking at the different colors and creatures they are.
Any blue plushies you have she immediately adores. Those are her favorites.
Bonus points if you get her one later on.
That being said! She thinks you're adorable when you're talking about them!!!
She wants to smother you in kisses so badly!!! And she probably will.
Honestly so long as you are happy and smiling, I think she is as well.
Hairdresser
... Do any of them need haircuts?
If you say no she'll totally understand. But if you allow her to give one or two a haircut she'll still make sure they look super cute!!
I don't think she had deep thoughts on the plushies, but she will listen to you talk about them. Especially if you let her do your hair while you talk.
Might occasionally bring you one or two she comes across while looking for her scissors if she loses them.
I don't know if she'll memorize all their names but she definitely remembers the ones you talk about the most.
Decorate her little salon with plushies!
She will allow it only because it's you. Plus, she does really like the fact it adds some character.
Adami Adashino
Staring blankly. This girl walked into her partner's house covered in blood said partner just starts rambling on about plushies.
Honestly, she can't deny she's endeared.
10000% the type to get cuteness aggression.
Can and will start squeezing and pinching your cheeks and such. But she can't help it!!! Look at how adorable you are!!
She will learn their names for you but she doesn't always remember them very well.
But like. You still think she's cuter than your plushies right? Right?
If you don't say yes prepare for her to be jealous. Good luck!
#homicipher x reader#homicipher#ms bride#ms bride x reader#ms nurse#ms nurse x reader#ms blue clad#ms blue clad x reader#homicipher hairdresser#homicipher hairdresser x reader#adami adashino#adami adashino x reader#homicipher adami#homicipher mc#homicipher mc x reader#homicipher adami x reader
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for those who are looking which of these games have yandere endings, allow me to kindly add them in a read more :D
Cupid Parasite: Gill Lovecraft
The most consistent yandere-vibes from Lock's recommendations. Gill's I would say leans so much on pathetic sad dog yandere and irl stalker that the otome game community is very divided on him (and a majority of us are yandere/trash husbando fans lol).
You'll spend most of his routes looking at how much he's a loser (/aff) who simps for his former roommate. I mean, he's trying to get over you but the heavens might quite literally be playing with him— cause how can he move on when you're his matchmaker???????
Cupid Parasite is so silly and so fun, highly recommend for those who love romcoms.
Piofiore: Nicola (Bad End)
Note: don't search his name on google images cause one of the first things you'll see is his CG for the bad end. Do not spool yourself lol.
Oooh how I love this man. Him and Dante are my faves [and Roberto. Lord. I love Roberto so much why isn't he a love interest?!?!?]
I won't spoil much, but his bad ending is 🥰. Plus Piofiore is such a good game anyways, it's worth trying out. If you like mafia men that are trash and would definitely kill you in other routes (sometimes their own too aHEM MISTER CHINESE KEBAB)— this game is for you.
Olympia Soiree: Kuroba (Bad End)
Ngl I remember the yandere end for this one being relatively short, but Kuroba along with Byakuya are my faves so I didn't really mind. If you like your fics with some sort of "chosen one" flair to it, OS is for you <3.
Don't get it twisted though, the game makes it a point to show time and time again how much their color system destroys the people [definitely feels like a metaphor for racism-]
Even if Tempest: Crius Castlerock (Bad End)
TW: childhood abuse/neglect, cannibalism, straight up every route has murder since this is literally a Phoenix Wright fantasy otome game, blood, unending angst you can't escape from if you want to see a single good ending, etc. For the amount of girlbossing and (justifyable?) crimes the heroine had done [and lord she's such a pretty androgynous girlie], the game is very refreshing.
LOOK AT MY BABIIIIESSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭
If you love suffering, I highly recommend this game because the plot is amazing. It does not hold back as much. It's not like Black Wolves Saga's level of "dead dove: do not eat" but man will it surprise you.
Crius definitely feels overprotective even in routes outside his. As an older brother figure-esque, he has this tendency to help you out without question [this fact will hurt you later.] His bad end? I'm a simp. And I like the hurt it gives. 10/10. Also him in the fandisk is 🤌🤌🤌🤌. Everyone in that game is so loveable.
I play a whole lot of localized switch otome games and let me just say, he's gotta be part of my top 5— and some people on that list are there for nostalgia's sake (Hi Tokimeki Memorial). Crius is great. Much love.
Bonus route: Steam Prison - Fin Euclase
I shit you not, bro is a yandere in every route but his. I am not joking. The amount of Love Interests that had fallen from his hands— meanwhile in his route he's a struggling wholesome puppy just trying to survibe the underworld. I love him but I cannot be with him simply because I'm not content with just seeing him happy, I wanna see that broken side again /silly
I forgot to mention: I wouldn't say CxM has a yandere route [I say that as someone whose faves are Okazaki and Shiraishi, who keeps being typed as yanderes when they're deranged at best /j]
... Buuut there is a bad end where it feels like Hoshino/the MC is a yandere for our poster boy :)
lock's otome game recs
i received some asks indicating an interest in a compilation of my favorite otome games, so i decided to go for it!! i've played about fourteen otome games, but of those fourteen, only these six left a lasting impression on me. there are still some that i intend to check out, so the rankings may update in the future. i'll give a very general overview of each game and how i'd score the categories that i find the most important in an otome game — the heroine, story, art, enjoyability, along with the characters i liked the most.
number 6 - piofiore fated memories.
heroine: 6/10 story: 6.5/10 characters: 7/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 8/10 favorite characters: dante (ishikawa kaito), nicola (kimura ryouhei) and yang (okamoto nobuhiko)
this game centers around the heroine, with the default name liliana adornato, who finds herself entangled in the politics of the region's three most prominent crime organizations. the game has an italian backdrop and iirc, takes place in the 1930s.
the overarching narrative, while it has its fair share of intrigue, isn't the game's strongest point. it's the interactions with the characters themselves that made the game feel worthwhile. each love interest has more to them than what meets the eye, so it's satisfying to watch the relationship between them and the heroine develop.
the heroine takes a passive role throughout much of the game, events sorta just happen to her. still, she has a kind disposition that makes her likable and doesn't make stupid decisions that has you wanting to fling your console across the room. her characterization changes slightly depending on the route. for instance, without getting into spoilers, she's more assertive throughout yang's route. the resulting dynamic made yang's route the most memorable, even if he's my third favorite character from the bunch.
what feels unique to this game is the effort put into the bad endings. in most visual novels, bad endings can feel like gimmicks. you make one or two wrong decisions and you're rewarded with a few paragraphs. the downward spiral of the characters in the bad endings are decently fleshed out and you can see how they arrived at this 'worst' version of themselves. they're suitably dark and it shouldn't come as a surprise that i enjoyed them because of that 😭
then there's the art. it's stunning, the details in each CG are mindboggling. the heroine gets to wear a variety of pretty outfits which is something i like to see. even in the story's weaker moments, a stunning CG would pop up that had me forgiving everything. i still glance through the gallery to this day.
number five - cupid parasite.
heroine: 9.5/10 story: 7/10 characters: 7/10 art: 9/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: ryuki keisaiin (junya enoki) & gill lovecraft (kimura ryouhei)
iconic. showstopping. a little bit camp.
cupid parasite stars one of my favorite heroines, lynette. she works as a bridal advisor whose ambition is to ensure everyone finds their soulmate. in actuality, she's the goddess cupid, who left her post in celestia to better understand humanity and create lasting pairs. she's a delight to play as.
this game's presentation and overall aesthetic is the most distinct from any otome game i've played. aside from the presentation, the story itself is unlike any of the others on this list. when it comes to romance, i typically prefer them to be dark and mature. this game opts for a more lighthearted approach. it vacillates between being a romcom and dipping into the absurdist genre. there were times i was literally left speechless (glances at gill's route)... but it makes for an entertaining experience. the game's plenty funny as well.
personally, i enjoyed the more grounded moments when the mythological elements remained in the background. because of this, the true ending doesn't do it for me as much as they do in other games. as with anything, this is a personal preference though. i liked all of the routes and found the game handles the development of each love interest well. we're introduced to these men at their most pathetic and get to help them become a little more well-adjusted. lowering the cringe meter, if you will. it makes their growth all the most satisfying as the narrative progresses.
number four - even if tempest.
heroine: 9/10 story: 8.5/10 characters: 8/10 art: 6/10 enjoyability: 9/10 favorite characters: the heroine herself, tyril i lister (noriaki sugiyama), crius castlerock (makoto furukawa) and lucien neuschburn (kaito ishikawa)
right from the get-go, this game's premise had me hooked. it features the heroine, anastasia (<3!), who leads an incredibly tragic life. she's bestowed the ability to reverse time following each of her deaths and uses this to unravel a mess of mysteries the world's setting is tangled in.
this game is absolutely anastasia's story. without spoiling anything, i loved the approach they took with the time rewinding ability. how it's incorporated is unique to an otome game, which they take full advantage of to amplify the tragic romances. on that note, the romance itself occasionally takes a backseat to the narrative as a whole. personally, i didn't mind this in the moment, since i found the story so interesting. in retrospect, i do wish that we got more moments between the heroine and each love interest, especially in the true ending.
there are more gameplay elements here as well. you have to conduct investigations, gather evidence, and apply what you've learned during these trial segments. when i first read about this, i thought it'd be a gimmick, but i liked playing through them. it incentivizes you to pay extra close attention to the world.
while i liked the narrative as a whole, i do wish we got more worldbuilding. there are hints of political subterfuge and religious oligarchy that, while touched upon, could've been leaned into more to give the setting a distinct feeling.
number three - olympia soiree
heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 8/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: akaza (yoshitsugu matsuoka), himuka (shun horie), and yosuga (yuma uchida)
in olympia soirée, the eponymous heroine, olympia, lives in a society divided into castes based on colors. she is the last surviving member of a clan that can perform rituals to keep the sun aglow. this game is a lengthier title, i believe i clocked in around 25 ish hours (i don't use auto-play so that sheds some time). the story benefits from this, as olympia has rich worldbuilding and lore that's revealed throughout the route's progression.
we get to see the consequences of this caste system and olympia's growth as she becomes determined to realize a better future for the islands. this makes the heroine someone that you want to root for. personally, i'm a sucker for stories that center around a sheltered individual being forced to face the harsh realities of the world and maturing in their own way. this, paired with the struggles specific to this setting, make for a gripping backdrop for the character's routes. all the love interests have problems of their own that they need to address.
this is certainly a mature title, there's plenty of steamy scenes featuring gorgeous artwork. seriously... all the pretty CGs are absolute eye candy. i enjoyed the balance between the main narrative and the development of the romantic relationships, i don't remember ever feeling bored.
ironically enough, i think this is the darkest game from the bunch listed here, surpassing the game with actual horror elements. there's a whole litany of trigger warnings to be mindful of when going through the game's bad ends. they are, as the term suggests, Bad. not light or humorous in the slightest. the poor heroine goes through it. please be mindful of these more touchy subjects.
number two - 9 r.i.p
heroine: 8/10 story: 8/10 characters: 9/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: minami (nobuhiko okamoto), hibiki (shunichi toki), kureha (toshiki masuda), and koyo (ryota suzuki)
i was looking forward to the english localization of this game before it was even announced ... i'd been wanting an otome game with this vibe for ages. and it didn't disappoint! there are four different overarching story sections, with two characters each having their routes fall under them. this makes it difficult to give a summary since each route has a vastly different feel. some routes lean heavy into supernatural horror (such as hibiki and kureha), whereas others are just... supernatural (like with yukimaro and koharu).
the basic premise is that the main character, misa, is a high school girl burdened with her career survey. she's uncertain what she wants for the future and is being pressured by his mother to pursue a career in medicine. in one way or another, depending on the story section, she comes into contact with the afterlife and those who inhabit it.
i loved this game, i couldn't put it down. the routes that leaned heavy into horror were my favorites, which shouldn't be a surprise lol. i do feel some love interests were given preferential treatment of others, i wanted more from sena's storyline in particular, since he's voiced by one of my favorite VAs (tetsuya kakihara, the voice of scaramouche) 😭... apparently this game is receiving a fandisc, so hopefully they'll remedy that in the future.
minami stole the show for me. from what i've gauged online, he's a divisive character, you either find him grating or love him (like i do). i'm biased but i do think he has the most interesting and well-written story out of the love interests, i've played through it three times already. i just adored the dynamic between him and the heroine. he's petulant, selfish, and a bit immature, yet he goes to extremes for her as he realizes his unhinged feelings.
hibiki is a close second. the most yandere-coded of the bunch, he's soft-spoken and polite, but that exterior hides a creepy personality. like all of the characters in this game, there's a tragic element to him. i was worried about the role the heroine would play in helping him 'overcome' this, but i think they handled it well. it doesn't feel like the heroine's fixing him so much as she's helping him have a different perspective on certain events.
yeah i'm not normal about this game, i cannot recommend it enough. it would've taken the top slot if some of the routes were a bit more polished. i didn't care for yukimaro's at all, for example. routes like minami's, hibiki's, and koyo's more than make up for it though.
number one - collar x malice
heroine: 10/10 story: 10/10 characters: 10/10 art: 10/10 enjoyability: 10/10 favorite characters: takeru sasazuka (daisuke namikawa), kei okazaki (yuki kaji), and aiji yanagi (masakazu morita)
the holy grail. the otome games that died for our sins. this isn't just a good otome game, it's an excellent story, with a very human cast, commentary on issues like the nature of crime, and you're left wanting to solve the various mysterious as much as the heroine does. speaking of the heroine, miss hoshino ichika is my all-time favorite heroine. she's clever, resolute, compassionate, and you can't help but fall in love with her a little yourself 😭😭
i'm not sure if this makes sense, but the world feels very... full? you get this sense that ichika exists outside just interacting with the love interests. she has her career, friends, and her younger brother that act as more than passing NPCs. the writers ensured all the characters with portraits are given some level of depth. i left caring about more characters than the heroine and love interests.
each route is dedicated to working through a certain case, which keeps the story intriguing as you progress. finally, all of the little hints that have been littered throughout coalesce into the 'true' route, where questions you've had since the first chapter are given satisfactory conclusions. at the same time, you're left wondering about a few things, such as the complete philosophy of the main antagonist.
ichika's relationship with each of the love interests develops alongside the case they're investigating, which almost always have connections or parallels to the LI's past. this helped ground them in reality and flesh them out into dynamic characters. you come to care deeply about them alongside ichika. the romance feels earned and doesn't come on too fast, which some otome games suffer from.
if you like otome games and haven't played collar x malice yet, i fully recommend it!!!!!!!! it's the strongest title from what i've played so far.
#CxM my goat 👑#it's my first switch otome lol#EiT is definitely my fave of all of these ngl#I haven't played 9RIP yet since it's new but I can't wait :)
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ANIME CENTRAL (ACEN) is officially Two Weeks Away now and i am going to implode. Come see me in the Artist Alley at booth H29 !!! I will have damn near my entire shop's catalogue with me (except stickers, as they are not allowed by the convention center itself, though I will have washi tape), and two new charm sets I made for this con specifically. Leftovers will be listed on my Etsy some time the following week !
#anime central#anime central 2024#acen#acen 2024#artist alley#rosemont#chicago anime cons#anime con#i will be adding to the music player charm set more in the future with more iconic songs but theres just 4 for now#although i've asked con staff about it and i will be allowed to have a sticker Display for people to look at#so if you want to Look at my stickers before you go online and buy them. all you need do is ask for my sticker binder 👍#everything is taped into place so people can't reach in and run off with anything#i dont know what outfits im gonna wear yet but i know at least one day i gotta wear the aperture hoodie and dress like my sona#i'll even clip my hair back on one side to bring back the sidecut for a day lmao#acen was my first con its so so so cool that its my first artist alley too....
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"finally, mine. heh, and it looks better than both of yours."
"uhhh, mine and dust's are both in the same style, same everything. like, there's not even that much different about yours, horror."
"yeah, but it's me."
"i hope an alternate version of you gets severely mischaracterized irreparably."
"... damn."
💜/💙/❤️
#killer got sick of horror's shit through all of this series#this is me also me getting sick of horror because it took me 3 fucking hours to find a pose for this one#go look at killer's one in this stupid series i made too because i fucked up the posting time for that one#i actually think that out of all of these killer's was my favorite#like she just looks so fucking cunty how can i NOT like it#but like composition wise i like dust's. i make use of all the space in that one#except the issue with killer's is that i made a bunch of mistakes in it#i always do this the first one always looks best and then i can't replicate that amazingnes in the other two#ESPECIALLY horror's figuring out a pose and composition and gimmick with this was like pulling my teeth out#horror's watching chibi killer struggle in amusement while she tries not to fall onto the axe below#its a bit sadistic but horror'll catch chibi killer if she falls. she's just a bit evil like that#i gotta admit horror's outfit out of all the jk trio is my least favorite because it's lowkey kinda boring#idk. so i did the cool cardigan off the shoulder thing to add interest to the design#im just goofing about the severe mischaracterizations i dont care all that much#everyone is allowed to have their own fandom interpretations and varients of sans aus!!!! everything is an AU this is the AU fandom#as long as you know its not canon then make horror into an uwu catboy for all i care!!! as long as youre having fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love subjective fanon interpretations FAR too much to ever shit on them. everyone has their own ideas and i love it#tricule art#jk fashion au#horror sans#killer sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#undertale au#undertale multiverse
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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please pick friends u can argue or have misunderstandings with and actually communicate with immediately after like, it’s so fucking important
#like if anything I’ve learned the last couple years is fucking communicate#like actually#my family isn't really big on it and that's probably part of the reason I started writing so young#tried to break that with my niece and was mostly successful we fight but can actually discuss and work things out and talk#I always have encouraged her to express her damn feelings because my stereotypical scorpio sister is in there too so I had to drag it out#and I can be the same it’s hard for me but I try harder now than before#I’m always honest with myself but expression is hard I get it#like we fought the other day and when she came home l expected her to just go in her room#and she just stood there and looked at me like well??? like that one meme haha#and we talked instead#gotta break those generational curses man#but yeah holding people accountable and calling them out is needed sometimes and also apologizing and talking it the fuck out#even if it sucks….do it#set boundaries and u allow what u allow#I’m at the point of my life I just won’t tolerate certain things and that’s valid but also without communication#you’re not moving either way with clarity and clarity is everything#it’s ok to move on from any kind of relationship but were u honest first? was there clarity#and if nothing changes or you can’t find peace you can move on and compartmentalize that loss better because u tried first#I get some reasons don’t warrant any of that but overall#but yeah I do word things like a straight up bitch sometimes and yes u should tell me hahah#can piss eachother off and misunderstand eachother#but there’s paragraphs coming and that’s the important bit#I’m still learning but better than I was
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btw funniest option for reverseverse archangel siblings is that lucifer & michael are the twowith the dead mom killed by a demon, and gabriel and raphael are accidents that happened along the way that chuck kidnapped
#they are all still related their family situation is just a freakshow#gabriel and raphael’s moms ARE alive. they just were kidnapped a little bit kind of#this is actually very angsty if you look at it too long and ends up with a lot of turmoil from each of them because michael & lucifer like.#This Is Their Family Mission. avenge their mom. who is. Undecided Character At This Time. because im not one of those losers who makes#becky a dead wife. but someone’s gotta be the dead wife around here you know?#but anyway my point was. this is Everything to them. but its. not at all the same for raphael and gabriel.#like at this point yes they want in because those are their brothers and their grief is shared grief but at the same time. they have moms.#they haven’t been allowed to see their moms but theyre out there.#this is getting too angsty. i said this was the funny option specifically because i think it would be hilarious if chuck’s condom broke 2x#and then he had to take care of even more babies (read: hand them off to michael)#this would also mean that raphael & gabriel are significantly younger circa s1 of reverseverse. like adam-aged#i think chuck does just leave them somewhere and fuck off to do his own thing. maybe with michael but maybe just in a motel room somewhere#they’re like 15-16 and just completely abandoned. i think that does fuck them up a little. even more than it does michael & lucifer.
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ooc. u know since i started teaching i think my grammar is getting..........tiny..........tiny...weeensyyyyyy eaaannyyyy better. i know how grammar works but then i write my brain: *slides arabic structure here because it can* and then you have arabizi*
#ooc.| faty speaks#[i know i still do it but (verb have) in a past sentence my brain: gotta use the past form of the verb too duh#[modal verb carry the tense so no need to say something like they didn't had it should be have...#[me: its easy. brain: lmao ok i cant apply it because whatever~ whaaaatever~~~~#[sTOP IT ZA.CK FAIR STOP IT!!!! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WWHATEVER ME NOW NOT EVEN IN JP!!! I WARN YOU BRAIN#[never mind me im just little bit emotional. remember when i used to write am instead of I .... yeh. same.#[i give myself pain because i can#[LISTEN. IM TINY BIT PROUD. AT LEAST I MAKE SENSE NOW..........RIGHT?...RIGHT???????????????????#[we passed the your and you're stage too. luckily i didnt get them mixed up. it is the there and their for me XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#[help me..im suffocating because of past memories waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!#[let me not open my old multi muse blog and look at my writing sobs#[oooh c r i n g e ~~~~~~~#[yehaw i wanna bother wars suddenly weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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eternal fight between wanting to correct a misconception abt cats but also knowing that it was just a silly joke and i shouldnt take it so seriously but also something being a joke doesnt mean you shouldnt still point things out but also i have no expertise beyond just "i have multiple cats and spend way too much time watching them and thinking about the way they interact w each other and what that means about how their brains work" which means i would just be talking out of my ass anyways because i have no way of telling if my interpretations are right or if im anthropomorphizing them
#origibberish#anyways. your cat isnt trying to steal your food#he doesnt understand 'your' food vs 'my' food he just understands 'food'#and sees you as another cat and when cats are eating and another cat wants some they just. walk up and partake#so if youre having issues with that you gotta start using cat language to tell them to back off#like growling/hissing at your cat is allowed they do it at each other all the time for a reason#actually slight correction they do understand 'my' food but only in terms of 'i caught this so it is my trophy'#food thats just Around is communal#so think like a cat and say no this is MY kill in cat words#i killed this sandwich and IM going to eat it#like theres a part of me thats like 'no you cant hiss at your cat thats mean!' but thats looking at it through human eyes#we see hissing as mean because its The Mad Sound and mad is Bad and Angry and Personal#but for cats mad is different#theres no values or anything behind it‚ mad just means 'stop what youre doing or ill hit you'#and like you know actually hitting your cat would be shitty and abusive and that threatening smth like that to a child would be equally#and abusive so in ur brain ur like 'i cant threaten him in cat speak'#but like its not a threat for them!! its just a warning so that they know the other cat Doesnt Like What Theyre Doing!!!#thats how they establish boundaries!!! so not only are you allowed to use it i would even say trying to actually bring yourself to your#cats level in terms of communication is probably like. better?#but i mean again. this is all based entirely off of half remembered cat facts books from childhood and spending way too long#watching the endless drama between my children#so. take literally all of that with a grain of salt#actually scratch that ive decided i am an expert now. universities i am willing to be a professor of cat psychology
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... hubby!Gojo with a huge breeding kink who just obsesses over you when you're ovulating and can't think about anything else but fucking a baby into your hips.
+ warnings; mdni, breeding kink, some dumbification
+ an; I literally had this idea in my drafts for a year... 😳
Maybe he's got a freaky sixth sense, maybe it's just because he's got heightened senses, or maybe there's some scientific studies to back it up; but Gojo can smell when you're ovulating. And it turns him on — of course it does. He has a bigger breeding kink than you do.
"Oh, you're ovulating." he notes after sniffing your skin... and you do a double take like he's insane. Because he is insane — you married a madman.
He pays closer attention to your cycle than you do, reminding you to mark down when you get your period, and coddling you in the days leading up to ovulation.
"Satoru, it's just an estimation." you tell him, but he's got a glow in his eyes when he sees your period tracker app telling him that today's your most fertile day — if he cums in you today, it's basically guaranteed.
He researches positions that help conception, bends and pushes you into them, and fucks you deep with his thick cock, going harder on your poor hole than he normally does — grunting more than he normally does, throbbing more than he normally does... like it just awakens something primal in him, and now he's obsessively fucking you like he has no other purpose but to breed his sweet little wife.
"Nn! Satoruuu!" you whine and paw at his torso, your walls overwhelmed by the pressure of his cock splitting you open.
"Yes babyyy?" he coos, giving you a crooked, blissed-out smile as he tilts his head.
There's sweat dripping off his abs, his pink nipples are hard, his biceps are twitching, and he's running one hand through his dampened white hair as he stills inside you for a moment.
"'s too deep! T-too big!" you moan lewdly, a bit of drool escaping the corner of your mouth.
"...aw, I know I'm just too big for ya, huh?" he coos cockily; hearing you tell him that he's 'too big' never gets old.
He's so determined to give you his baby that he tries everything to increase the chances; staying inside you for 5 minutes after shooting his load in, having you rest with a pillow under your back so your hips are raised — "Gotta help my lil' guys swim." he acts like an idiot about it, but sweetly so. Nothing excites him more than the idea of being a dad, except the idea of fathering your children.
After sex, when the two of you are cleaning up, Satoru feels over and massages your tummy with a small smile on his face. He's lost in thought, hair all messy and face tired like he's run a marathon, hopeful that this time he got you pregnant.
He'll pamper you like his queen, humming and going to the ends of the earth to get you anything you ask for. He really fawns over you when you're ovulating, and lays on the compliments thick while snuggling your neck and creeping his fingers up your thighs — pretty soon he'll sink them inside and stretch you out on them, preparing you for what he cutely calls "baby making" but is actually sweaty, nasty, kinky sex — there's a definite difference in the cute, snuggly sex and the literal breeding sessions no matter how much he plays it off.
"Satoru... my legs are still weak after this morning, give me a break, will you?"
"Aw come on, this is an innocent request... and if babymaking happens, it happens..." he mutters the last part under his breath.
"You're crazy."
But you know you're gonna fall for it after you take one look at his rock-hard, juicy pink, dummy big cock and those breeder balls.
He just beams victoriously when you hop over to him like a little bunny.
Satoru's pushes into you as deep as your pussy allows him, and then some more just to pressure your deepest spot, pinning your wrists down and whispering sultrily into your ear about how well you take him, how beautiful you look, how good it feels to fuck your fertile pussy knowing that he'll most definitely get you pregnant because his cum is perfect; thick and sticky and gooey and pungent, perfect just like he is — the cocky bastard.
When his creampies makes you cum, A-spot pressured with his pulsing tip, he grins so wide that you scold him about it.
"Stop grinning like a psychopath." you pant.
He just looks up at you, face hardly an inch away, and asks a dumb, smiley "D'you feel pregnant?" ... as if it happens so fast.
"Gee, I don't know, we should go again just to make sure — that was a joke, that was a joke! Nn! Satoru!" too late, he's flipping you over and slowly filling you up again.
And oh god Satoru loves sliding back in for round twos. The smell of sex and cum wafting up and hitting his nose just makes him plunge back into your cum-filled little hole with only one thing in mind and that is breeding you 'till you're stuffed to the max.
"Come on, y' gonna be a good wifey for me and get knocked up?" he rasps against your ear, thrusting his cock up into your sensitive spots until his creampies turn into whipped cream, frothed up and milky-white and smeared on your pussy lips.
Like the nasty boy he is (and always has been, even before marriage), Satoru forces your head down and makes you watch him fuck his dummy big cock into you.
"Yeah, watch that cock fill you up... look at all my cum leaking out..." he tuts, "... don't be so wasteful, baby... oh well, 'm gonna fuck it back into you anyways. Come on, let me in deeper — aw, what's wrong?" he coos when you claw at his meaty bicep.
"'toruuu, so deep! Y-you're so fucking deep, I can't think..."
His heart pangs when he hears you complain about being too stuffed, "Oh baby you don't need to think, just lay there and let me put a baby in your sweet pussy — gonna fuck you so dumb, the only name you'll remember is mine."
Of course, he has to get a creampie in every day. Sometimes even a few times a day. Sometimes even at 4 AM, and you swat him for being a horny idiot — but it takes five minutes to give in because you can hear the need in his voice when he whines "Please?" and starts humping against you, "I've got so much cum for you." he tells you and though it sounds so sweet in his soft, bedroom voice it's hard to take him as an innocent man, because his thick boner is grinding hard and hot between your plush lips.
You can bet you'll probably only get to sleep when the birds are chirping, 'cause your hubby's balls are too heavy and full of cum and he needs to drain himself inside you — oh, and you can also bet that afterwards he will be sleeping like a princess, clinging to you with his face snuggled into your tummy.
#mdni#tw: smut#gojo#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo satoru smut#satoru smut#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jjk#gojo satoru#smut#fluff
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Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:
The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.
Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.
It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.
Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄
Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.
also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh
⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️
Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D
Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.
Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:
'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.
you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH
And, finally:
lmao this is shit
True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.
Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD
Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D
Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#pyronica#handyman bill au#book of bill#the good place#incorrect quotes#heck yeah i'm tagging billford - cuz these old men are EXES#jfc i said i wasn't going to color any other gravity falls stuff i made - and then what do i do?#i fukken color all of it#i may have a problem lmao#the green area outside the theraprism is because i forgot what was outside it and just went 'lol greenscreen idgaf'
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jalapeño eggggggggggg
#toy txt post#its Jalapeño Egg time again!!!!!!!#and afternoon coffee#would love to get to a point. in my mental health. spoon distribution. executive function and time management that i could#hold a job and still have jalapeño egg and coffee everyday. maybe have a couple chickens or smth#ive gotten it to be fairly medium spoons on. a good day. or like high spoons medium high reward#the spoon to payoff ratio seems achievable to Balance#compliments the coffee well#if youre curious its Very Basic egg bc i am a Simple Man i and i dont like fancy shit with lots of ingredience generally.#not like on principle just like. statistically speaking.#pan with butter. 2-3 eggs bc that seems like a Normal and Reasonable Amount to allow myself to eat while leaving enough eggs for Future Me#as well. the butter i use is salted. if that matters. u can prolly get away with like olive oil or dairy substitute or somethin idk.#i can tolerate lactose and i like it with the butter. be generous w the butter. stir the eggs up in a little mug or smth like scrample em.#break the yolks and mix em in. cook eggs to your desired egg cookedness. put on plate#put sliced jalapeño pickles on top to desired amount#voila#jalapeño egg. you can alter this as you want. go crazy mix in all sorts of shit put the jalapeños in while youre cooking it cheese whatever#idc. i dont like all that stuff in mine and i prefer it w the jalapeños added after its done cooking personally. pairs well with#black coffee. good black cofffee. like pickle n coffee but elevated. think it takes me like maybe 30 min to do both egg and coffee and#clean up/set aside to clean up later. BUT thats also including the fact that im making coffee in a fancy lil stupid pour over and gotta#babysit it to make sure it hits all those grounds evenly. and watch the bubbles. could deffo do it faster if u have a faster way to make/#have the coffee haha#learning to cook food at all has been learning that i was right as a child when i realized i dont like fancy/complicated ass foods#again not necessarily on principle just like. everytime i see some recipe or gourmet shit or fucking food network im like#wow thats uh. Pretty. that sure looks like it takes a Lot Of Skill And Work! good job!#personally i wouldve stopped like about 5 ingredients and 400 steps ago and not just cos im lazy as shit. that part is bonus#anyway ☆this is not a moral judgement of fancy ass foods. i simply tend not to like them and my Annoyed Tone is purely from#going to some silly little event and they never got basic ass boring fucking plain god damn brownies anymore. everyones gotta get fancy and#Do Shit to em and leave me No Options. smh. its Fine Youre Fine To Like The Fancy Desserts and Many Ingredient Dishes#its Fine! youre Fine! to eat and like fancy desserts and shit. i am simply a Picky Bitch Eater Grumbling In The Corner. let me liiiive
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HATE it when people make a half animal character with like ears & a tail & stuff but it's very clearly entirely for the aesthetic & not because the creator actually likes the concept of a half animal person. those ears do not move. that tail does not tell you shit. the claws are not anatomically accurate & neither are the legs, if they choose to be a little bold & make them more obviously a hybrid & not just a person with two sets of ears. the wings are not big enough to support their weight. the doggirl is eating chocolate just fine & the catboy does not headbutt you in greeting & you do not explain why there are domesticated animal-human hybrids in a world where they arose naturally. *pointing a gun at you* make an effort.
#this is probably such a niche pet peeve but it really does pet my peeves more than anything#do you know how many times i've had to explain to people (yes even people supposedly studying anatomy)#that dogs/cats/birds do NOT in fact have backwards knees & extra joints & that those are their fucking heel???#sooooo frustrating when people make the entire concept of their story the characters being inhuman & then get the anatomy wrong#it's sooo fucking basic too it's like wikipedia shit dude just look it up it is not difficult to find#but yeah the whole ''they have completely useless ears & a tail'' thing really pisses me off#they'd be exactly the same if you just made them a regular human#if you aren't prepared to study animal body language for your character you aren't allowed to write them#i'm sorry but i don't make the rules. you gotta realize first & foremost that animals have language. & then you gotta learn it#otherwise i will be scoffing at your subpar characterization#you have a catboy who doesn't even use his cat ears. or tail. you've failed
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a friend of mine got a nose job because she had a deviated septum
my sister got a nose job because she didn't like her nose
my fiancée got a nose job because they felt their nose made them dysphoric
my sister was truly shocked when no one noticed the difference in her nose afterward, but at the end of the day, she said she didn't care if no one else noticed. she got the surgery for herself, not anyone else.
my fiancée said they considered getting ffs but decided their nose was the most dysphoria inducing part of their face and decided to just change that.
my friend said she never planned on changing the shape of her nose at all until her surgeon offered the option since she was fixing her deviated septum anyway. it wasn't done out of insecurity or a hatred of her looks. she just decided that if she's going to get this surgery, she may as well get her money's worth.
they all got the same surgery. they all got rhinoplasty. every one of them had a different reason. whether it be insecurity, dysphoria, or fixing a deviated septum. you do not get to choose which of them deserved to get surgery. they are allowed to. they have bodily autonomy. if you support bodily autonomy, you have to support it even if you don't like what a person does with Their Own body.
Yall do NOT hop on a cosmetic surgery hate train during an ongoing campaign against trans Healthcare I am fucking begging
#i also got a double mastectomy because of my very severe chest dysphoria#and would love to get a hysterectomy for the very same reason#bodily autonomy is so fucking important#if you want to be mad about the cosmetic surgery industry then take it up with capitalism societal standards & social pressure#ALSO you gotta stop being weird to the anti aging people too#look im all down for aging naturally and dont care about laugh lines or wrinkles just as much as the next guy#but the people who work 24/7 to look 20 are allowed to do that#is it good for them? probably not. but is it their decision? 100%#so long as toxic beauty standards arent being pushed on others and theyre doing it for themself who cares what their reason is#stop claiming to be pro bodily autonomy and then getting mad when people (esp women) do smth you dont like#either people are allowed to have bodily autonomy or theyre not
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Anyone else out here feeling disconnected from their own humanity.
#WILL! MY! BRAIN! LET! ME! LIVE!#like I ran into a meds delivery issue so that's part of why the past week has been so Bad™ & it's finally fixed now but jfc brain calm down#I just feel like everyone else lives on some plane of existence that I will never EVER have access to#and I can keep being myself and keep hoping that eventually I'll meet someone who lives on MY plane but I've been wandering around#for 30 years up here and I really haven't made any actual progress.#the only thing left is to just not care if I ever have someone else on my general plane of existence and I have been TRYING to do that#for god knows how long but with the way my health is...I cannot do this by myself. at least not for the immediate future.#like genuinely I need to not be alone but what do you do when your life looks so different from everyone else you know? what do you#do when everyone else has had at least one 'normative' experience (or a socially-acceptable excuse for not having them) and you never have?#what the actual fuck are you supposed to do with that????#everything good that has ever happened in my life has depended on how well I can perform being a neurotypical person. and I just.#the physical stuff prevents me from being able to actually do that anymore.#so now there's just...nothing. there's nothing that will ever allow me access to the good parts of society#and I gotta say that is a really REALLY miserable outlook to be stuck with right now#In the Vents#mel's Illness™ chronicles#okay I think maybe. I should go be creative or something. or sleep. or take a shower. idk.
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