#gotta go back asap need to watch this show at least 10 more times before it closes in august

[sluttybibuck]

saw illinoise on broadway tonight umm how am i supposed to go on after this i feel like my whole life just changed

[nctsworld]

two nights, one you

✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k 

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection  GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff  WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.

Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.

Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.    

Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.

Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.  

It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.

You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.

But then, you land on him.

One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.

Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.

The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:

“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”

You swipe right without hesitation.

“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.  

Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.  

Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:  

so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?

Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:

-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)

He’s quick to send his address.

-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!

Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:

tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛

-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛

Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.

“Hi,” you chirp.

A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”  

Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.  

“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.  

“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.

Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.

“So, this is my place...”

Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.

Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”

“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”

He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”

Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.

“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”

A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”

“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”

Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.  

“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”

“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”

You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.

Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?  

So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...  

Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.

But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.

And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.

In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.

Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.

The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.

“Morning. You’re finally up.”

Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.  

“Out you go.”

You blink.

Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.

After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.  

Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.

You definitely heard him right.

And he’s dead-serious.

You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—

Realization dawns on you.

Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?

Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.  

“What the fuck?!” you screech.

“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”

“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.  

“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”

“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”

Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.

“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.  

“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.  

He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”

Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—

“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”

You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.

“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”

“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”

With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.

Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.

“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”

As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.

“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”

He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”

With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.

“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”

The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”

Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.

Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.

Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.

“Well, shit.”  

Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.

Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.

At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.

As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.

After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.

“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.

“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.

“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.

“No, you.”

You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.

“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”

He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.

“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”

His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.

“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.

Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.

“Fine.”

He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.  

One minute, to be exact.

You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.

“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”

Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”

“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.

“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”

One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”

“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”

He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”

Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”

“Do you plead the fifth then?”

Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.

You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”

“Bigger or smaller than average?”

“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.

He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”

You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”

Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.

“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”

Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.

“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.

Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.

“Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”

“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”

“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.

“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”

So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.

No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.

“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”

There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.

Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”

Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”

Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.

“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”

As if you had anywhere else to go...  

He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”

“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.  

“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.  

“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.

The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.

Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.

You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.

During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.

Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.

You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.

By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.

“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.

“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”

You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”

That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”

You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”

“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”  

You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.

Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”

And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.

“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.

“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.

Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.  

“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”

Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.  

“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”

Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.

“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”

“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”

“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.

He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”

Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.

Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?

Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.  

So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.

“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”

Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.

“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.

“I do not! I just—nooo!”

You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.

Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.    

“What?” you eye him suspiciously.

Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.

“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”

Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.  

Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.

“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”

Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.

Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.

You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.

You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.

On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.

From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone  off to one side.  

“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”

A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”

“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.

You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?  

You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.  

Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?

“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”

“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.

“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”

Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”

He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”

“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.  

He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.

“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”

With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.

“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.

“Non-existent.”

“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”

You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.

“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”

You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”

“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”

Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.

“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.  

Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”

Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”

You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”

“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”

He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”

“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”

“I’m premed, of course I—”

“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”

You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”

“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.

You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”

“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”

Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”

“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”

With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.

“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”

When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.  

After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”

You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”

The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.

Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”

“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”

“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.  

You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.

“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.

“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”

You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.

“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.

“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”

“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”

“Don’t be scared to touch me.”

“I touched you so much during—”

He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.

“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”

The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”

Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.

“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”

“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.  

“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”

He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”

“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”

“Try to make you come in other ways?”

Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”

“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”

A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.  

“Why don’t we try it again?”

Perplexed, you squint at him.

“Try what again...?”

“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.

You blankly stare at him.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.

“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.” 

You continue to stare at him until you groan.

“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”

Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”

“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.

“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.  

Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.  

God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.  

“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”

“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”

You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.

They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.

“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”

“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”

“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”

On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.

“Is Chenle your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”

With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”

Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.

The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.

You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.

The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.  

His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.

He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.

Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.

The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.

Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.    

After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”

“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.

He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.

Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.

Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.

In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.  

On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.

Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.

“I’m ticklish over there.”

“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”

With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.

“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”

When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.

The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.

He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.

Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.

You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.

Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.

Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.  

“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.

“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”

Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.

“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.

Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.

Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.

“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”

He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.

“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”

You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”

His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.

Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.

But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.

You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.

Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.  

You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.

Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.

A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.  

“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.

He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”

You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.

“Use your words, Jaemin.”

Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.

“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”

“Anything to critique?”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.

“Am I still rusty?”

“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”

“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.

“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.    

Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.

You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.  

Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.

“There, there—“

Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.  

“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.

You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.

“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”

“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”

Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.

“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.

You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.

“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”

Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.

“Fuck, holy shit.”

His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.

The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.  

You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”

And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.  

“I’m-I’m—”

You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.

Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.

“Was that real?”

You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.  

With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.

“Ready for the last round?”

His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.    

Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.

As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.

Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.

“Told you we weren’t going to die.”

You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.

By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.

But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.

In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.

During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.  

“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.

He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.

“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.  

“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.

Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.  

After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.  

“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”

You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.

“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”

A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.

“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.

“Do you...?”

Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.  

And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.

Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.

“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”

“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.

Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”

His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”

You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.

“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”

Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.  

Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.

Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.

He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.

The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.

The date he asked you out on.

You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.

Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.

Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.

But that’s not what you’re focusing on.

Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.

It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.

A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.

Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.

But to cheat?

That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.

You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.

With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.

He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.  

He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.

“Wait! I can explain!”

You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”

“No, listen to me for a second.”

The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.

“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”

“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”

Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.

“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”

Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.  

“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”

You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”

He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.

“She cheated on me.”

The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.  

But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.  

Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”

Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.

“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”

He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.

“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”

You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly. 

“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”

He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.

“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”

His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.

“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.

It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.

“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.

Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.  

Because you choose to be.

Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.  

Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.

What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?

The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.

The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—  

Because you didn’t find the right guy until last night.

Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.

And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.  

You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.

As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.

And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.  

Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.

Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.  

A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.

The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.

“And who might you be?” he asks.

“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.

You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”

“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.

“What are you doing h—”

You cut him off with a kiss.

An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.  

Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”

“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.  

He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”

“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”

Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.

“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”

He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.

“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.

Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.

Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.

With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.

“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”

You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”

He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.

“Maybe I didn’t.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”    

You sharply turn your head.

“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.  

A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.

“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”

[kk095]

Last Ride

Here's my latest story! @defibresuslover247 gave me the idea and @eyesfixedanddilated gave me a few pointers along the way. I hope everyone enjoys!

****

Brooke was a 22 year old with a full, busty figure, dirty blonde hair, and blue eyes. She was a southern girl, born and raised in eastern Tennessee. She was always a bit of a tomboy and enjoyed outdoor activities like hunting, fishing, and riding ATV's.

The night of the incident started off normally. Brooke’s older brother Mike had received a nice tax return that year and decided to splurge a little bit by purchasing a new ATV. Since he knew his younger sister was into riding ATV's, he invited her to try it out with him.

The two siblings went out into a vacant 20 acre lot on the outskirts of town. This particular plot of land had plenty of hills and open areas, so a lot of ATV enthusiasts in the area enjoyed riding there. When the 2 of them got there, Mike parked his blue Ford F150 along a dirt path about 50 yards or so from the road. Mike got the ATV out from the small trailer attached to the back of his truck and the riding began.

For the first hour or so, the 2 siblings were having fun in the outdoors. They were zipping up and down the hills, through the dirt paths, and had a few beers along the way. But as time went on, the drinking and lack of light once the sun set took its toll. While Brooke was riding the ATV by herself, she went was riding downhill at a high rate of speed, losing track of her speed. Her chest hits the handlebars before she goes flying off the vehicle. She lands hard on the ground, striking her head and left side of her face. While tumbling down the hill, the ATV rolls violently down the hill, stomping right over Brooke’s right femur before continuing on down. Brooke screamed at the top of her lungs, feeling her right femur snap like a twig and slightly protruding through her jeans. Brooke’s wild trip down the hill came to an abrupt stop when her left arm and ribcage smashed into the side of a tree.

“Holy shit… BROOKE?!” Mike shouted from the top of the hill after watching the event unfold in horror. “Brooke?! BROOKE?! You ok?!” Mike yells as he starts to run down the hill. At the bottom of the hill, Brooke was screaming out in agonizing pain. She could see a bone fragment penetrating through her jeans on her right thigh, and her left arm was badly broken. She felt a bit dizzy, and could the stinging from open cuts and blood on the left side of her face. Her left humerus, which broke the fall into the tree at the bottom of the hill, was swollen and had some obvious deformities. Brooke tried to get up, but she obviously couldn’t. She sat on the ground squirming and crying, begging her brother to help.

When Mike got to the bottom of the hill, he was taken aback by his sister’s injuries. He stood lorna deer in headlights for a few seconds before whipping out his cell phone to call 911. The call was transcribed as the following:

911 dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Mike: I need an ambulance! My sister’s hurt real bad!

911 dispatcher: Sir, please remain calm. Can you tell me the location of your emergency?

Mike: we’re on that vacant lot off of highway 501 with all the hills and paths! You gotta hurry, I think she’s hurt bad!

911 dispatcher: alright sir, police and EMS are en route. Can you tell me what happened?

Mike: She flipped off the ATV and rolled down the hill. There’s a bone sticking out of her leg!

Due to the extent of her injuries, the 911 dispatcher instructed Mike to refrain from first aid and just stay with his sister to keep her calm. Since the vacant lot was outside of town, it was going to take the ambulance at least 10-15 minutes to arrive on scene. But with the amount of pain Brooke was experiencing, those 10-15 minutes would feel like an eternity.

When EMS arrived on scene, they found Brooke screaming and crying in agony and Mike panicking, feeling semi responsible since this was all his idea. The medics instructed Mike to step away and give them space to examine Brooke.

The medics noted a few injuries immediately: open right femur fracture, left humerus fracture, facial+head lacerations, and some bumps on her head. The medics placed a c-collar since a spinal cord injury was within the realm of possibilities. The medics then removed Brooke’s socks, shoes, and snipped off her jeans so they can reset the open femur fracture. Brooke winced in pain while the 2 medics wiggled the pants off after making a few cuts with trauma shears. Next, the medics reduced the open femur fracture, which cause Brooke to scream loudly in pain for a second. Once the bone was below the skin and somewhat in its ’s normal place, the laceration from the bone protrusion was bandaged up and the area was splinted off. The next order of business was to focus on the humerus injury. There was obvious swelling and deformity, consistent with a displaced oblique fracture within the humerus. The upper left arm was also reset and splinted, causing Brooke a great deal of pain. After the arm was treated, the medics quickly bandaged up some of the head lacerations and abrasions and began setting up 2 large bore IVs. After IV access was obtained, normal saline was hung, but the medics refrained from administering pain medications since alcohol was smelled on Brooke’s breath, and there were beer cans scattered across the ground just up the hill. Brooke’s top was then cut off, sparing her black bra and matching underwear. A 5 lead ECG with a portable heart monitor was set up to obtain readings for her vital signs. On scene, Brooke’s vitals were: BP 87/49, Pulse 121, o2 saturation 94%. Brooke was placed onto a backboard and taken over to a gurney, and taken into an ambulance.

Mike begged and pleaded with EMS to ride in the ambulance with them, but they told him he couldn’t. “THAT’S MY FUCKIN SISTER! LET ME IN!” Mike shouted belligerently. One of the cops on scene offered a compromise: since he had too much to drink, they’d drive him to the hospital.

During the first part of transport, Brooke was a little short of breath, so an o2 mask with high flow oxygen was placed. The medic in the back of the ambulance lowered their stethoscope onto the girl’s chest and listened to her heart and lungs. “heart sounds good, but we’ve got diminished breath sounds on the left. Might be a tension pneumo.” The medic announced to the driver afterwards. The medic also noted that there was swelling and bruising on the side of her chest along her left ribcage, consistent with possible rib fractures or dislocation.

Over the following 10 minutes or so, Brooke’s condition changed a bit. Her GCS dropped to 10, and became a bit disoriented. Her systolic BP dropped into the upper 70s, and her heart rate was approaching the 130s. With this in mind, the medics became concerned about a potential head injury. The medics checked her pupils: right pupil was reactive, and the left pupil (injured size) had the early stages of dynamic oval pupil. Essentially, her left pupil had a slight oval, or almond shape. This is typically associated with eye trauma, optic nerve injuries, or brain bleeds originating from the back of the head. Since there wasn’t sufficient evidence of trauma to the eyes/optic nerve, it appeared a head injury was within the realm of possibilities. “Hey, what’s our ETA? GCS dropped to 10 and we’ve got a DOP in the left eye. She needs a head CT ASAP.” The medic in the back of the ambulance called out. “ETA 4 minutes. Hang in there…” the driver replied. The ambulance continued speeding down the road, sirens on full blast while Brooke continued to struggle in the back. She was squirming around and groaning in pain. “Miss, you gotta stay still for me, ok?” the medic said calmly, attempting to reason with brooke. Brooke began crying again while fidgeting around and kicking her healthy leg out. “Miss! You gotta stay calm!” the medic said more sternly, grabbing ahold of Brooke trying to hold her in place. Brooke quickly became inconsolable and demonstrated an altered mental status. “she’s definitely got a brain bleed or something…” the medic thought to themselves. Brooke needed to stay still due to her femur fracture, and because a spinal/neck injury hasn’t been ruled out. Since there was no getting through to Brooke, the medic decided to push a round of rocuronium. This medication is a strong muscle relaxer and paralytic agent, so it’s used as a chemical restraint when patients consume alcohol since alcohol doesn’t mix well with other agents commonly used.

Within 30 to 45 seconds, Brooke was knocked out by the medication. Since she was now unconscious, the medic decided to perform rapid sequence intubation on her for airway management. With a laryngoscope in 1 hand, the medic maneuvered a 7.0 ET tube into the girl’s airway. Once it was at the correct depth and place, the tube was secured with a blue tube holder, and an ambu bag was attached. For the remainder of the ambulance ride, Brooke remained hypotensive and tachycardic, and her GCS was still bouncing between 9 and 10.

Upon arrival at the ER, the medics gave the trauma team a brief rundown of Brooke’s condition as they wheeled her into an available trauma bay. Once in the room, Brooke was transferred onto the table and examination began. She was immediately started on blood transfusions- 1 unit A+ and 1 unit O- with 250 units of rhogam, 1 unit of platelets, and 1 unit of FFP. Multiple specialists were paged for consults, including: orthopedics, neurosurgery, and trauma surgery. While waiting on the specialist to arrive for their respective consultations, initial examination began. A FAST scan was performed first. The chest portion of the exam showed trace pericardial effusion, minor to moderate abdominal bruising but nothing potentially lethal, and the pelvic section came back clean. Multiple x-rays were then ordered: the x-ray of the arm confirmed displaced oblique humerus fracture, which would likely require surgical reduction with rods and pins. The chest x-ray showed 2 broken ribs and 1 dislocated rib on the left side of the thorax, along with bruising and swelling in the intercostal area. The chest x-ray also revealed a left sided tension pneumothorax with pleural effusion, which appeared to be caused from air escaping into the chest cavity, which pinched and pressed up against the lining of the lung. The next x-ray was of the femur fracture. The fracture was quite extensive, which required surgical reduction and many months of physical therapy in order to heal properly. The x-ray of Brooke’s head showed no evidence of a c-spine fracture, but there were some contusions on the skull and there didn’t appear to be any fractures; a head CT was still necessary to get a better understanding of her head injuries.

In the meantime, the trauma team decided to do what they could for her. The first order of business was to deal with the tension pneumothorax on the left side. The treatment for this was placing a chest tube in order to evacuate any air or blood. The procedure started after the area in between her ribs was sterilized. A 1 inch incision was made in the skin, followed by an additional one to cut through any fat and underlying tissue. Once a decent opening was created, a 36fr chest tube was placed into the incision area, and navigated deep into the pleural space. There was a small amount of blood drained from the tube, but a substantial amount of air exited the tube, allowing proper lung expansion once again.

Another concern arose in the coming minutes. The lower half of Brooke’s left leg was a bit discolored and cold. Her dorsalis pedis pulse was weak, so compartment syndrome was a legitimate issue here.

When orthopedics arrived, they wanted to set up pressure monitoring in the thigh to see if compartment syndrome was indeed taking place. But the orthopedic surgeon and neurosurgeon were in a bit of a disagreement. “if we don’t monitor her leg, she could lose it!” the orthopedic surgeon said. “well if we don’t get a head CT, she could die! I’d rather her lose her leg than her life!” the neurosurgeon replied smugly. The trauma surgeon offered a compromise: a fasciotomy in the emergency department. Typically, this is a procedure reserved for the operating room, but this was an emergent situation that required a quick decision. Everyone quickly got on board and the procedure was started in a moment’s notice.

Betadine was squirted on the right thigh and the bandage was removed from the splinted compound fracture. A scalpel was used to make 2 deep, long incisions in the thigh. Once the skin was incised, the underlying fat and tissue was cut out so proper bloodflow and blood drainage could take place. Her right calf and right foot immediately became a more normal complexion, and the dorsalis pedis pulse was stronger than it was just a minute or two ago. The freshly opened area was then irrigated with saline and prophylactic antibiotics to decrease the chance of infection, and the wound was somewhat closed with the shoelace suturing technique.

After the fasciotomy, Brooke’s blood pressure began to take a rapid nosedive. Vasopressors were pushed in an attempt to increase BP to a more stable level, and more blood products were hung. While trying to maintain BP, the young woman began to have a tonic-clonic seizure on the ER table. Brooke jerked and flopped erratically, biting down on the ET tube and grunting every few seconds. Her toes clenched up, wrinkling the soles of her size 8.5 feet. To combat the seizure, the trauma team acted quickly by injecting 1 dose of lorazepam intravenously in order to stop the convulsions. It was my like the tv shows where the medicine take immediate effect. In reality, it takes about 45 seconds for the meds to kick in. In those 45 seconds or so, Brooke’s twitchy, spasmodic movements slowed down incrementally until she finally settled down and stopped seizing.

After the seizure was controlled, Brooke was covered up and transported to radiology for a head CT. The GCS drop, altered mental status, DOP, and seizure were all associated with a brain bleed. Once in the CT scanner room, Brooke was transferred into the table and hooked up to a portable ventilator since nobody could be in the room with her during the scan. Prior to the scan, she was given another dose of vasopressors to keep her blood pressure semi stable since she was hypotensive. Pupil reactivity was checked before the scan as well- left pupil was sluggish and still oval shaped, and the right pupil was constricted.

The head CT took about 8 minute to complete. The results of the scan were interpreted quickly: there was a subdural hematoma in the left temporal lobe. The size of the bleed was definitely noteworthy, so the neurosurgeon wanted to drill a burr hole to alleviate the pressure in the cranium and then monitor Brooke with an intracranial pressure monitor to see if an additional surgery would be warranted.

Once the plan was made, Brooke was once again whisked away and back to the trauma bay for a quick burr hole and ICP monitor insertion. The procedure quickly commenced upon return to the ER. A portion of Brooke’s hair was shaved off on the left side and the pasty white skin was sterilized with a small amount of betadine. The neurosurgeon took a surgical drill and drilled 2 holes. The first one was made in the left temporal area to alleviate pressure and create immediate blood drainage. Thick, gooey blood oozed out of the small, circular hole in her skull after it was drilled. The coagulated blood was suctioned out, allowing proper release of the fresh blood from the active bleed. The 2nd hole was drilled in the left parietal area. The purpose of this 2nd hole was for insertion of an ICP monitor and to allow room for additional draining in the event the bleed worsened. After hole #2 was drilled, the ICP monitor was inserted and set up by the neurosurgeon, and a few small drainage tubes were inserted to help drain additional blood in an attempt to restore normal pressure within the skull. The next step of Brooke’s treatment was to take her to the OR for surgical reduction of both her femur fracture and humerus fracture.

Up in the OR, Brooke was hooked up 5o a ventilator and prepped for surgery. The anesthesiologist had some concerns about her blood pressure before surgery, so it was advised that trauma surgery would sit in on the surgery, and have neurosurgery on standby. With her BP still low, a repeat echocardiogram showed that the trace pericardial effusion had worsened in the past little while. Before the surgery started, the trauma surgeon performed an infrasternal pericardiocentesis. The quick procedure drained a decent amount of blood and slightly improved Brooke’s vitals, buying the surgical team enough time to work on the orthopedic injuries.

The orthopedic surgeon began with the humerus fracture. The original plan was to hold the bone in place with some plates and screws, but once the doctor got in there, they noticed damage to the proximal head of the humerus. When there’s damage to that portion of the bone, they have to replace it with a titanium joint that’s held in place with screws. Essentially, it’s like a hip replacement in your arm. It’s not a common situation, but it happens every so often, and the surgical team was prepared for that curveball. Part 2 of the orthopedic surgery was the femur repair. A long, thin metal rod was inserted into the femur after the medullary cavity of the bone was essentially scooped out. With the rod in place, the fractured portions of the bone were lined up and then held in place with small plates with titanium screws. Overall, the orthopedic portion of Brooke’s treatment went well, but since she was hemodynamically unstable and required monitoring for a head injury, she was sent off to the ICU for monitoring.

Brooke’s first few hours in the ICU were uneventful, but changes started to occur overnight. Around 3am, her blood pressure began to drop once again, along with an alternating QRS complex on the EKG. The ICU nurses decided to page a rapid response since the changes were concerning. When the trauma surgeon arrived, they pushed a round of vasopressors and hung 1 unit of FFP since there may be some residual bleeding and damage. The doctor’s next order was a repeat echocardiogram to monitor the progression of the pericardial effusion. The echo showed that Brooke was experiencing cardiac tamponade, so once again, an infrasternal pericardiocentesis was the way to go. The needle aspirated a combination of both clotted blood and fresh blood, but cardiovascular function slightly improved after the procedure. Brooke’s pupils were checked afterwards; they were sluggish but reactive, and the dynamic oval pupil was slowly going away. The ICP monitor was showing normalizing pressure in the skull, so it appeared the head injury was on a slow and steady course towards healing. The main concern was the chest injury at that point.

Approximately an hour later, Brooke began to struggle once again. Her blood pressure was still low and her chest tube output decreased. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that there was a blood clot lodged inside of her chest tube. Treatment for this is disconnecting the drainage portion of the chest tube and suctioning the lumen of the tube out until normal output returns. But when the tube drainage is disconnected in trauma patients (because a larger chest tube is required), you run the risk of re-aggravating the tension pneumothorax, so this has to be done rather quickly so excess air doesn’t get into the tube or the patient’s chest cavity.

With the trauma surgeon supervising, the drainage portion of the chest tube was disconnected. A suction tube was placed into the chest tube and the chunk of clotted blood about the size of a pea was slurped out, allowing normal flow and drainage to occur once again. But even after the chest tube was reconnected, Brooke’s blood pressure was still low. A 3rd echocardiogram was ordered, showing a sizable tamponade in the lateral portion of the pericardium. With this continuing to occur, and getting worse, the trauma surgeon decided to page cardiothoracic surgery and immediately take Brooke up to the OR for an exploratory thoracotomy and pericardial window.

While wheeling Brooke out of the ICU, her blood pressure suddenly became dangerously low. “shit, she’s gonna code. We need to get her up there ASAP!” the trauma surgeon blurted out with urgency. The ICU team wheeled Brooke through the corridors at full speed and into an available elevator. No more than a second after the elevator doors shut, Brooke became pulseless. The heart monitors showed pulseless electrical activity, so ACLS protocol promptly began. One nurse began pumping away at Brooke’s bare chest. The 22 year old's chest sunk deeply from the strength of each individual compression. Her chubby body and large, natural breast jiggled around a bit while another nurse injected epinephrine and atropine into one of the IV sites.

A nurse got on top of the gurney and began straddling the young woman, delivering strong, repetitive compressions. A few moments later, the elevator doors swung open and Brooke was wheeled out and into the main hallway of the OR floor. “whoa, what happened?” one of the nurses at the main nurses station asked, surprised to see an active code out in the open.

The team continued wheeling Brooke through the hall, compressions ongoing. Once in the correct operating room, the code was paused for a moment in order to transfer the woman onto the OR table. The monitors chirped loudly while Brooke’s limp body was transferred onto the table. Once on the table, CPR was restarted by one of the surgical nurses. “oh boy… what a mess. We’re gonna have to open her up ASAP. Get me a thoracotomy tray…” the head surgeon called out as they walked into the room. Since the heart monitors still showed PEA, CPR just went on. Redness and bruising started to form on the center of her chest in between both breasts due to all the hard compressions she was receiving. There was a popping sound that occurred during each individual compression since a few of her ribs became fractured or dislocated. The nurse that delivered compressions could feel Brooke’s cold, clammy skin through her gloves while everyone else in the room was scurrying around and barking orders at each other in what seemed like a moment of organized chaos.

While the surgical techs set up a thoracotomy tray, an OR nurse pushed the next round of intravenous meds since Brooke just crossed the 4 minute mark of the code. The meds didn’t have an immediate effect, but were able to convert Brooke to v-fib after approximately 45 seconds or so. With defib pads already attached to Brooke’s bare chest, they were charged to 200j and a shock was delivered. Brooke’s limp body jolted abruptly on the table in response to the quick dose of electricity. Since no change occurred, CPR resumed for several seconds until the defibrillator pads were recharged.

Seconds later, everyone backed away from the table and a 300j shock was delivered. Brooke’s back arched, forcing her chest up in the air, making her breasts bounce around. Shock #2 failed to convert Brooke from v-fib, so the surgeon took over and made the executive decision to open her chest via a left anterolateral thoracotomy.

Betadine was splashed across the left side of Brooke’s chest in a moment’s notice. With CPR ongoing just inches away, an incision was made in the 5th intercostal space. The cut began just to the left of Brooke’s sternum and extended laterally. The incision continued under her left breast, and ultimately came to a stop a few inches away from her left armpit. The next step was to separate and cut through the underlying tissue in order to create an opening for the rib spreader. This took about 15 or 20 seconds since it was done at a hurried pace. With that out of the way, the finochietto rib spreader was placed in the gaping cut, and the actual opening of the chest began. A cracking sound was heard regularly while the knobs were turned, forcing the 22 year old’s ribs apart.

The OR team was greeted by a rush of blood from the chest cavity upon cracking the chest. Suction was applied to the area and a 2nd chest tube was inserted for additional drainage. With the excess blood out of the way, a pericardiotomy was performed. A quick cut was made into the lining of the heart, which leaked a combination of fresh blood and coagulated blood. The incision in the pericardium was extended to deliver the heart more effectively, and a few small drains were placed into the incised portion of the pericardium for continuous tamponade drainage.

After these critical first few steps, external compressions were swapped out for internal massage. One of the doctors wrapped their hands around Brooke’s heart. They pushed hard and fast in an upwards motion with both their thumbs on the left ventricle in order to force blood through the aorta and out to the body. The doctor could feel Brooke’s heart twitching in their hands as they desperately attempted to reverse the dire situation.

V-fib still persisted after a cycle of internal compressions and another dose of meds, so the internal paddles were called for. The large, spoon shaped paddles were charged to 20j and placed directly against the desperate, spasming organ. After everyone backed away, the first internal shock was delivered. A dull, wet thump was heard, followed by her torso twitching a bit. Her heart fluttered for a second from the direct jolt of electricity, but it quickly returned to its erratic spasming from before. Internal compressions were resumed while a vascular clamp was placed on the descending aorta near the diaphragm. The purpose of this is to temporarily redirect bloodflow back to the heart, brain, and lungs since those organs are most essential. After the large vessel was clamped, the internal paddles were prepped once again, and placed around each side of the young woman’s heart. Shock #2 was a but stronger at 30 joules, causing more noticeable reaction. Brooke’s torso flopped slightly and her toes curled up, wrinkling the soles of her size 7.5 feet. This shock failed to correct the deadly arrhythmia, so resuscitation efforts went on. A cycle of internal massage was performed while the internal paddles were recharged to 40j. After the paddles were good to go, the third internal shock was delivered. The same dull thump as before filled the room for a moment while Brooke’s battered body twitched on the table. The monitors began chirping again, continuing to show v-fib.

The same cycle of internal compressions, shocking and meds continued again…and again…and again, but the OR team just couldn’t get their young patient’s heart to restart. Despite a 26 minute code, Brooke passed away in the OR, with her time of death being called at 5:02am. The monitors were switched off and the ambu bag was detached. Additional equipment such as the EKG electrodes and IVs were removed in the eerily silent OR. Brooke’s naked, battered body laid on the table. Her heart sat motionless in plain sight during the basic postmortem preparations. Eventually, the chest tubes were removed, the ICP monitor was taken out, and the chest was closed up. A cover was placed over Brooke’s body, and a toe tag was placed before sending her off to the hospital morgue, bringing a sad ending to the case.

[yiqiie]

IDOL PRODUCER S2: E1 THOUGHTS

every week, i’ll sit down and watch the newest episode of Idol Producer Season 2 《青春有你》and write down all my thoughts. nothing get’s left out so get ready for a bunch of memes, shit posts and rants as we get through another season of our fave survival show 

feel free to send me any questions to my inbox and i’ll answer them asap!

a/n: i rarely shitpost on my blog so i think it’s about time i start

start time: 7:39

oKAY S2 LEGGO

can i just say during this ad break that motherfcking goddess jolin is a dance mentor and i just might cry because she literally looks like an angel in every preview i see

and oof my hubby zyx looks good

MILKA CHOCOLATE

we already have the new nongfu vitamin water i’m crying

MORE PRODUCT PLACEMENT

there was a really cute boy wtf i need to know his name

ALSO NEW SET

this set look so much prettier than last season ngl

and while i’m here i’m just gonna say their new uniforms look nicer

i love the darker colour

da chang we’ve missed you

our home away from home ily

ooo damn these slow mo shots

zyx your makeup looks good

can i just say this mentor lineup is LEGENDARY in itself

fck they all look good

okay moving on

are you serious more ad placement

they have a slide up door COME ON THIS IS SO COOL

you’re a cutie i have no idea who you are but i will eventually

the boys saying one lunchbox isn’t enough for them to eat are such a mood

THEY’RE STEALING THE MILK

is it milk or yoghurt  

FCKING CUTIES ILY SOMEONE TELL ME THEIR NAMES

oh jesus they’re loud af

KEEPING IT IN TRADITION I SEE

wait we don’t get to see them choose their seats noooo

mood lighting whoop

damn zyx you’re hitting them with these hard questions already

[a short break while i get some chips]

okay we good leggo

WHO IS THIS BEAUTIFUL BOY TELL ME HIS NAME

the guy who said he was working hard for his mum that was adorable

YIIXNG YOU’RE LOOKING DAMN FINE TODAY

wait why are some people standing outside and some people inside

or are they the same people

what’s going on

damn he really is stricter

ohhh so can they only fit half of the trainees?

i changed my mind the old one was better then lmao

LI RONGHAO WHAT AN ENTRANCE

JOLIN MY GODDESS

LOOK AT THAT SMILE

lol mood 

her shoes omfg i love them

i actually love her accent omg

MC JIN HERE WE GO

THEY REALLY BLURRED OUT THE EARRINGS I CAN SEE IT ON ZYX LMAO

ooo i like the new big ABCDF letters though

wait they got actual chinese singing legends to come do it too????

OACA LEGGO

oh damn those outfits

they forgot to clap omfg they’re so precious ;;;

[another food break soz i made a mango smoothie]

COMPLIMENTING EACH OTHER OMG WHAT A CUTIE

DRINKING THE MILK / YOGHURT LMAO I LOVE HIM

gotta love a slo-mo entrance

DANCING HOLY SHIT

i already forgot the leader’s name but i love him already

I REMEMBER THIS SONG it was maverick’s last season right??

i gotta say i prefer this version so much more

YES HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES BOY

we already know there’s no As at all so

they’ve really upped the standards this time i can feel it

HE CHA XI THAT’S HIS NAME

i’m loving the bro support they already have

HE WAS SO PISSED ABOUT NOT BEING IN THE BIG VENUE LMAOOOO

he’s so cute i love him

giving the heat packs to other people I LOVE HIM MUM

HE’S SO ADORABLE LMFAO

zyx is in love with him already

for someone who’s been training by himself for 2 years holy crap that was good 

HIS BOW AHAHAHHA

lian huai wei i gotta remember these names man

i love how they’re all rooting for each other

YES B YOU GO BABE

he’s affected by zhang pd’s dimples lmao same man

THEY ALL ARE LMFAO WHAT A MOOD

A DIMPLE LIAR LMFAO THIS IS HILARIOUS

a mexican wave holy shit this is adorable

jia yi is fcking adorable oh my jesus his smile i’m in love

also their leader who’s name i’ve forgotten already but visuals wtf

oh damn this song is good

VOCALS YES

also they’re all so tall wtf

okay i think they’re my favourite right now maybe

JIA YI YES YOU GO BABE

LIN MO that’s his name

no don’t cry baby no don’t cry

oh fck i’m crying

no babes you did so well don’t feel bad

HE HAS A BABY DRAGON AHAHAHHA

wtf vocals that was unexpected omg

OMFG HE’S ADORABLE he wants to be with the sheep

wait he’s jia yi too?? oh god

YES B BABE YOU GO

JOLIN IS SO CUTE OMG I LOVE HER SO MUCH

she’s the only one smiling i fcking love her

oh damn casper

did he write that song???? what talent

HE CAN DANCE TOO?

we all know there’s no As so he better be a B

YES BRO HE GOT IT

BANANA TRAINEES YAYYYY

i’ve always loved this song it’s so cute

wang zhe is so cute though omg he doesn’t smile at all

okay i know zyx is going to get a lot of shit for saying what he said about people who haven’t trained for a long time coming on the show to gain popularity but i have to admit that it’s true

companies probably saw how successful s1 was and how many groups were able to debut after it and are sending so many of their new trainees to gain exposure

i can understand why he’s so frustrated because his generation and generations before that were people who would be trainees for like 4+ years and fighting for years beyond that for their first stage and with this program it’s just made it so much easier for people who haven’t had any training at all to get their first stage and debut afterwards with their company

zhang pd is pissed off oh damn

ngl their performance wasn’t that great i will admit but they have potential it just might not be the right place for them to train whilst on a survival show

and what he said about showing your respect for the stage and telling them why you want to be a star was all fair enough and tbh some of their answers weren’t the best

okay some people are pissed off about what he said about people all wanting to be rappers but having to be singers first

maybe s1 wasn’t the best in terms of the debuting group and vocals and rappers all getting A grade

but at least in s2 it’s changed and he’s addressing the fact that people who want to debut in a boy’s group can’t actually sing to begin with and just want to rap their way through

to be in a boy’s group you really need to want it you need to be passionate about your future and you need to first of all love what you do

okay moving on

THEME SONG

okay it’s growing on me ngl

but ei ei is superior forever for sure

OKAY PREVIEW TIME

wait someone smiled at me let me go back

OKAY WHO IS THIS I LOVE HIS SMILE

wait LOVE SHOT??? that was unexpected

argh i love this song so fcking much

finish time: 10:21pm 

that’s all folks; tune in next week for another episode of mai’s shitposting whilst we suffer through another survival show together! 

[foreignergod]

so!! this is incredibly late. like so so so late but!! i’m finally doing it!! and i’m not tagging anyone bc. wow so late wtf @ me??? but yeah do it if u want. thanks @altarrias and @pinkbus1 for the tags! i’m sorry i’m awful and it’s like way too late 💖💖

favorite snack? mmm. lays potato chips. the classic original ones babey. or pretzel goldfish

favorite place to go on vacation? me and my family use to go this place every summer in maine right on penobscot bay. literally my favorite place in the world. i miss it so much. i’m taking u there one day @lucademaurys it’s my rio 🥺

tea or coffee? coffee?? but it has to be a vanilla latte or i don’t want it bc regular coffee i can’t stand. but i do like a good peppermint tea

what kind? i already answered this bc i can’t answer things simply i need to Ramble

what’s a song that makes you dance immediately? don’t stop me now by queen. we blasted it on every track bus ride this past year. and now whenever i hear it it brings me back to those bus rides and i gotta dance

do you play an instrument? i used to play piano. and i still know how?? but i’d be a bit rusty

what’s your favorite type of personality? i’m confused about what this means but chill, genuinely kind, funny people

favorite comedian? i don’t really follow comedians and i’m also gay?? so like. john mulaney but i genuinely do think he’s so funny

gummy candy or chocolate? literally always chocolate

what did you want to be when you grew up as a kid? so it shifted from a teacher, to an architect for a long while. to an astronomer. until i eventually figured out what i’ll be majoring in (i leave for college in 10 days aHHH)

what’s your favorite physical feature about yourself? my eyes probably. everyone always talks about how pretty (not to Flex on y’all 🥵) and blue they are. or like my hair?? everyone says it’s like. a nice color and wavy and idk

when was the last time you watched a tv show or movie? i was watching skam italia literally 3 seconds ago

unpopular opinion? taylor swift isn’t the demon y’all make her out to be 🥵🥵. also cancel culture is toxic as fuck bc people change. why we still bringing up the shit people did 5+ years ago if it was a literal one time thing and they’ve proven they’ve learned and grown and changed? unless it’s like super horrible and bad like. people change stop this “cAnCeLLeD” shit it’s not cute

are you scared of bugs? literally like. yes. i hate. like mostly the bugs i hate the Most are spiders and moths. which aren’t bugs but i felt the need to include. i’m terrified of moths like. fr fr theyre awful. but like i’ll kill a tiny bug u know? even a tiny spider. let me rephrase. daddy long legs and moths are awful and if i see one i’ll Die

cats or dogs? see i have 2 of both so literally both but i’m more of a dog person if i had to choose

are you allergic to any foods? nope. i’m just ridiculously picky

does the description of your star sign match your personality? lol im a taurus and BITCH if i’m not the most stubborn bitch alive. so yes. but also!!! im a gemini stel (shoutout to @lucademaurys for teaching me all these terms) so like. a lot of times i vibe w gemini shit. so i’m like a cute funky mix of taurus and gemini

favorite type of accent? dude i’d fucking die for a irish/scottish accent

name the first song that comes into your head? someone you loved by lewis capaldi

who is the sexiest famous person to you? asap rocky next question.

cake or pie? depends on the cake or pie tho babey. like red velvet cake?? always. but pumpkin pie?? gimme that shits.

when was the last time you read an entire book? i literally finished a book today

favorite junk food? lays potato chips. fav snack doubles as junk food babEy. or like. milk duds

do you like your height? 5’5 is like Average average so like. yeah i’m chill w it

apples or oranges? apples 500%. as a picky eater i don’t like oranges or really. any citrus foods...

what’s your favorite personality track in a person? tpw KINDNESS babey. like be a nice person it’s not hard

do you like salad? hell yeah babey serve me up some greens. just PLS leave out the tomatoes and absolutely under any circumstances NO dressing

what person inspires you the most? is it stupid if i day harry?? bc wow he really do be 🥵🥵 but from like a “woman who wants to major in politics and just like. life guide in general” probably michelle obama. like What an icon

what is a song that has made you cry? uhhh fuckin. dude the first time i ever heard two ghosts i had to stop it for like 10 minutes before i could go on to the next track. shit had be Sobbing in my bed at like 12:30 am

so there we go how fun. i’m not tagging anyone bc since this is at least a month late the trend is over so yeehaw lads

[highfivecalum]

Cocky

since i have super bad writers block i decided to write a lil frat!cal :))) if requested i’ll do a part 2 (even if not requested i probably will anyway??)

Pairings: Fratboy!Calum and Y/N

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of alcohol, mild smut

not my gif credit to whoever made it sry

-

You woke up, groggy, with a pounding head, and no remembrance of the night before or whose bed you were in. You groaned quietly and flipped your body over to reveal the man you had sex with the night before. Your eyes couldn’t have gotten any wider than they were. The guy you swore you would never give in to and have sex with. The guy you tried to tell yourself that you despised, but found yourself taking a liking to since he was just so attractive. The guy who could be considered as one of the biggest manwhores at your university.

Calum Hood.

“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath and quickly got up, trying to find all of your clothes that were dispersed around Calum’s room. You found your bra, dress, and wedges, but there was no sign of your underwear. Fuck it, you thought. You wanted to leave before he woke up. You were lucky that you snuck out of the huge frat house without getting lost or caught doing the walk-of-shame.

You were thankful that your one class for the day didn’t start until 10 which gave you approximately an hour to do the walk-of-shame home from the frat house, get dressed, and get a coffee before your Literature class started. However, you weren’t thankful, though, that Calum was in that class with you. You prayed to God that he would oversleep and not make it to class so you didn’t have to face him.

Trying to sneak into your apartment without being seen by your roommate/best friend, you shut the door quietly behind you and exhaled a sigh of relief. You couldn’t wait to change and take last nights makeup off.

“Well, well, well.” You were caught red handed and you cursed, again, under your breath. You looked up to see your best friend, Stephanie, standing there with a knowing smirk on her face. “Look what we have here.”

“Don’t start.” You pointed a finger at her and made a beeline for the bathroom. You hoped she wouldn’t interrogate you about your night.

“Where’ve you been, ya little hoe?” You knew she was joking, but you ignored her and continued to get ready. Reapplying your makeup lightly and brushing your teeth before pushing past her and changing: you dressed yourself in a pair of leggings and a cropped sweater and called it a day. “Fine, fine, don’t tell me now, but I expect all of the dirty details later”

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes and slung your purse over your shoulder, Stephanie slapping your ass on the way out of your apartment, you flicked her off before slamming the door shut and speed walking to campus. Your apartment was only a few minutes away, so there was really no point in driving and wasting gas and time trying to find a parking spot.

You tried to ignore the pounding headache you had as you impatiently waited in line at the campus coffee shop, but your patience was wearing thing, and you needed coffee ASAP if you were going to sit through this three hour class. Or else you might just die. You knew that was being a bit dramatic, but your Lit class was so boring and your professor did nothing to make it any more interesting.

You finally got to your class and settled into the seat you normally sat in, exhaling a sigh, happy that you weren’t late. “Hey, Y/N.” Dylan, the guy who always sits next to you in class, greeted you happily. You offered him a small smile and turned your attention to your phone. You were texting Stephanie about your night- since she wouldn’t stop bothering you about it- when you heard the oh so familiar voice of Calum Hood.

“You mind?” He looked at Dylan expectantly.

“What?” Dylan blinked.

“You mind moving?”

“But, I-I sit here everyday?”

“And? Does it look like I care?”

Dylan didn’t argue any further and packed his stuff up, moving to a vacant seat far away from you. You glared angrily at Calum as he cockily sat down in the now empty seat next to you.

“What the hell, Calum? You can’t just do that!”

“I can do whatever I want.” Calum rolled his eyes. He leaned into you, impossibly close, and whispered against your ear. “I was sad to see that you weren’t still naked in my bed this morning when I woke up.”

You tried to hide the goosebumps that rose on your skin, but Calum noticed and smirked. He had that effect on every girl he got close to not excluding you. And you hated it. “Why would I have stayed?”

“I figured you would want a round 3 after I found your panties on the floor.”

Your head snapped up and you looked at him with wide eyes. He reached into his back pocket and retrieved the black lace thong that you had been wearing the night before. “Calum!” You whisper-yelled and grabbed them out of his hand, looking around, hoping and praying to God that nobody saw. “What is wrong with you?”

“Oh, c’mon, Y/N. Don’t pretend that you didn’t have a good time.” Once again, he whispered seductively in your ear. “Don’t pretend like the 5 orgasms I gave you weren’t the best you’ve ever had.”

You clenched your thighs together, trying not to show how affected you were by his words, and tried to forget about how good he made you feel last night, and Calum noticed, his signature cocky smirk returning.

“That’s what I thought.”

Ignoring Calum for the duration of three hours was complete and utter torture. Once your professor dismissed you, you all but sprinted to the door and continued to ignore Calum as he yelled your name down the crowded halls, of course drawing attention to you that you didn’t want.

It absolutely didn’t help that Calum was good friends with one of your other friends, Luke, and ended up at the same diner you were meeting your friends at. Apparently, Luke had invited Calum without informing anybody, and nobody cared. Except you, of course, but you didn’t want to tell your friends, because then they would question you. And you didn’t want to disclose to them that you had sex with Calum Hood just less than fourteen hours before.

“You can’t ignore me forever, Y/N.” Calum spoke in your ear as you walked side by side to the diner. You rolled your eyes and pretended that you didn’t know the was walking right next to you. You were trying your hardest not to give into him- again.

“Y/N!” Luke happily greeted you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and you could see Calum out of the corner of your eye, jaw and fists clenched.

Was he jealous? He couldn’t be. Not possible. Calum doesn’t get jealous over girls. He doesn’t have feelings when it comes to girls. He just likes to fuck them and dump them. Not date them.

“Hey guys,” you patted the top of Stephanie’s head and hugged Ashton, her boyfriend, and your other friend, Michael. “I’m actually not staying. Gotta go catch up on some homework.” Lie.

Everybody frowned and Luke protested, but you assured them you would meet up with them later after you had showered and taken a nap. Calum tried to follow you, but you told him to fuck off, and left without another word. You knew if you kept talking to him you would end up in his bed again and that was not something that you wanted to happened.

-

It had been two weeks. Two long weeks since you and Calum had sex and he hadn’t given up since. You were surprised, impressed, really, that he hadn’t moved on to the next girl that was waiting to fuck him. He was determined, to say the least, and you had done a good job at avoiding him. Until the night of the party. 

You had been dragged to the frat party by Stephanie and Ashton against your will. You really didn’t want to go, but there was no room for arguing with them, they were stubborn and wouldn’t take no as an answer. Right as you walked in the door Luke was shoving a red SOLO cup in your hands and you were chugging it down with no questions asked. You knew you would need a buzz in order to get through the night.

The party was in full force and you and your friend group was where you usually were during these frat parties; the kitchen. You were sat on the counter, Luke between your legs, your hands playing with his hair, as you laughed loudly as something Stephanie said. You had felt Calum’s eyes on you all night, but you pretended you didn’t notice, and tried, basically forced yourself, not to look at him.

Luke announced he had to take a piss and walked away quickly with his drink. His body was replaced with Calum’s, this time his body facing you, with the signature cocky smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes and sipped your drink.

“What do you want, Calum?” His hands slowly inched up your thighs and under your dress, dangerously close to your underwear. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Calum.”

“You look insanely sexy tonight. This dress showing your curves off in all the right ways, makes me just wanna bend you over the counter and fuck you right here.” His breath fanned against your ear and you bit your lip, trying to cover the gasp that escaped your mouth.

It was hard to resist Calum, with him being so attractive and confident and cocky. You thought back to the night the two of you hooked up and couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about his lips on your skin. How good he made you feel. How no other guy you had been with could even compare to the wondrous Calum Hood. 

You crumbled and gave in. You had to have him again, so you finally looked down at Calum, eyes locking, and you bit your lip harder. His smirk widened and he had a knowing look on his face. He knew he got to you. He knew he was going to have you in his bed again. And surprisingly, neither of you were mad about it.

“I gotta pee.” You announced to your friend group before shoving Calum away and hopping off the counter. They all had knowing looks on their faces as they watched the interaction between you and Calum. They knew you didn’t have to pee, it didn’t take a genius to figure that one out.

“Yeah right.” Michael snorted, speaking what everybody else was thinking. “Have fun you two.” He tapped your butt lightly as he passed him and you rolled your eyes, not bothering to give him a reaction.

Calum followed you closely, feeling his hands on your lower back and his breath on your neck. At this point you couldn’t wait to be under him.

Calum’s door slamming shut behind you, he wasted no time in pushing you against it, and attaching his lips to yours. “Jump.” Calum mumbled into your mouth, grabbing the back of your thighs, and lifting you up.

Calum’s hand unexpectedly dipped into your underwear emitting a gasp from you, moaning into his mouth, you felt his cock press against your leg, exciting you even more than you already were. “Fuck, Calum.”

At the sound of your moans Calum was throwing you onto his bed and crawling on top of you. Your dress and his clothes were thrown carelessly across his room and his lips were on your skin, teasing you, driving you absolutely crazy.

“Stop teasing.”

Calum’s dark eyes bore into yours as he slid your thong down your legs, taking his bottom lip between his teeth, and smirking at how wet your already were. Without warning his lips were on your clit and you gasped loudly, moaning Calum’s name.

There was already a tent pitched in his pants at the sight of you walking into his fraternity house hours ago and now he was incredibly hard at the sight of you squirming under him and moaning his name as he made you cum with his mouth. He knew he wouldn’t last long.

“Fuck, Calum.”

“You like that?” You couldn’t speak, only moaned in response, and Calum took that as his cue to reattach his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue until you came all over his mouth. Which, at the sight and the taste of you, almost made him cum in his pants right there.

“I need you. Now.” Were the only words Calum needed to slide into you and fuck you into oblivion.

It was, in that moment, Calum decided that he didn’t want this to be a one (or two) time thing. It wasn’t going to be. He wanted all of you, all the time, and that scared the shit out of him. He never felt that way, about any girl he’s ever been inside, and he wasn’t sure why out of every girl, it was you he wanted more than just sex with.

Maybe it was the way you put up a fight, the way you didn’t throw yourself at him constantly, the way you acted as if you didn’t give one shit about him- even though you secretly did. He was intrigued and it had him wanting to know more about you. Wanting to know everything about you.

“Wow.” You breathed out and laughed lightly. You rolled out of his bed and slid your panties up your legs before throwing your dress back on. Calum watched your every move, admiring your naked body that was glistening with sweat- yours and his. “That was nice.”

Calum looked amused and propped his head up on his hand. “Just nice?” He didn’t have to ask. He knew it was one hundred percent better than just nice.

“Alright, it was fucking nice.”

He laughed and patted his bed for you to sit down. You were hesitant at first. You weren’t sure why he wasn’t kicking you out and going back to his party, like he usually did, you weren’t sure why he wasn’t acting like the usual Calum who just fucks and dumps. It made you curious. So you sat down, leaving enough room between the two of you so that you weren’t touching.

“I, uhh, I have to tell you something.” Calum was nervous and you could tell. You hadn’t ever seen him nervous before, so it surprised you.

You furrowed you eyebrows and nodded your head slowly. Why was he acting so weird? “What’s up?”

Calum sat up fully, thankfully having put underwear on just before, and inhaled a breath. God he was nervous, anxious even. He had never had to admit his feelings to a girl. This was all new to him. And this Calum, was all new to you. “I like you. Like, like you. Not just for sex and not just as a friend, either.”

“Oh?” Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but smile. You would never admit it, but you too, had a crush on him. It was just a grade school crush, really, nothing serious, but hearing him say that he liked you made you happy in a way that you couldn’t describe. “Since when?”

“Since, like.. I dunno- a year?”

“A year? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Calum just shrugged, ingnoring your question, and continuing to speak. He didn’t want to tell you that he was too scared to admit his feelings, that he was scared you would reject him, since no girl has ever rejected him, he was just flat out scared. And Calum was never scared. “Can I take you on a date?”

“Seriously?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yeah. Seriously.”

“I-I don’t know, Calum.”

“C’mon, Y/N. I know I have a reputation and I’ve slept with a lot of girls-“

“And broken their hearts.” You reminded him.

“Yeah, that too, but it’s different with you.”

“Why is it different? How am I any different than any other girl you’ve had drunken sex with?”

“I don’t know it just is, okay? I’ve taken a liking to you since the first class we had together last year and I can’t explain it, you’re just... different. Can you please just give me a chance? One chance? I won’t let you down. I promise. And if I do, you can- you can punch me in the face.”

“I’ll be doing  more than just punching you in the face.” You assured him. Calum laughed and nodded his head in understanding.  “But yeah, sure, you can take me on a date. But you better impress me.”

Calum’s eyes lit up, smile so wide his white teeth could’ve blinded you, and he didn’t hesitate to smash his lips against yours. You weren’t sure if this would end well, but you knew you wanted to give it a chance, and if you got your heart broken; well then you were just going to have to deal with that later.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, well today was pretty good, busy but good. I woke up to my alarm at 9 and got up, got ready, and left at 9:30 to uber to Ulta to get my haircut. I ended up getting there at like 9:56 and the store apparently doesn’t open till 10, so I was awkwardly standing outside for a few minutes until my hair lady actually walked up and I was like “oh hey!” because I made the appointment last night so she didn’t even know I was coming in lol. so we had a good time catching up on everything being that I hadn’t been there since February, so we always have a million things to talk about and they’re always really good conversations. And my hair is back to its preferred length and I’m quite pleased with this. I was considering dyeing it back to brighter red since it looks weird to me now with it being short but not bright red, but figured I’d give it a little more time being that I have that job interview pending, and in a really random twist of events, I actually got an email today from the legal aid org who I’d previously done the interview with for the higher position I wasn’t quite qualified for but had now posted an attorney 1 position for domestic violence involving families and it would’ve been super great and I applied in like April and was sad when I didn’t hear anything back, and was later told they ended up filling the position in house, so I REALLY was not expecting to hear from them, but here was an email from them in my inbox asking if I spoke Spanish, which would be the logical question after reading my cover letter and resume because it was the one job requirement I very intentionally did not address because I do not in fact speak Spanish, but I emailed her back basically saying I took it in high school and was willing to do what it takes to get to fluency ASAP and that I was a fast learner with a great memory, which is really the best answer I got, so we’ll see where that goes I guess, if it’s nothing no harm done. I ended up uber pooling home so I could get some work done before having to take kitty to the vet. Worked for a bit and then got the leash and harness on kitty and got her in the bag, which strangely she didn’t fight all that much, but was of course very mad once she was actually inside of it and would not shut up lol. I was taking public transit because the vet is fairly close and uber doesn’t always allow pets in carriers (it’s up to the driver to make the call so it’s always a gamble) so I grabbed the bag and walked out to where the bus stop was. Now, it was HOT out today, like in the 90s, which is extreme for Chicago, so this is not something anyone is used to. But she was meowing up a storm and just making tons of noise, much to the amusement of the people waiting for the bus with me lol. Once we got on the bus she was kind of in and out of making noise, I was trying to get her to be quiet but I mean she does what she wants lol so that got us some weird looks (just people being like “where the hell did that come from??”) but thankfully we got there pretty quickly. Got off the bus and walked in, they stuck us in a room so I could take her out of the bag since she hated it so much. so I got her out and stuck her on the table, where she stayed at first but then after the aide weighed her on the scale she hopped off and was hiding in the corner underneath the chair I was sitting in, which is what she did last time, but the vet was able to lure her out with treats pretty easily so that was good. I told the vet about what was going on and she did a physical exam, saying her not eating the wet food could be about some mouth pain she might be having from like gingivitis (I guess I gotta feed her more of the teeth cleaning treats) so she gave me some pain meds for that and apparently she had like a zit on her gums that could be causing the issue so they gave me some like medicated wipes for that and want to see her back in three weeks, and we were good to go from there. Getting back into the bag, however, proved to be quite the struggle, because now she knew what was going on and was gonna put up quite the fight, so that took a good deal of effort. And then of course once we got outside the next bus wasn’t coming for another 23 minutes, which is way longer than they’re supposed to run (like 15 minutes at most, usually more like 7-10 during the week) and if it was just me I probably would’ve just gotten an uber but I had kitty with me and didn’t want to chance that. luckily this was a bus stop with a little covered structure with a bench and such so we could sit down and were somewhat shaded, though of course it was still hot AF out which was super uncomfortable. A woman came and sat next to me for a bit, resting on her way to the store lol so we chatted for a bit, apparently having an animal with you will just encourage everyone to talk to you lol. the bus finally came and she was still meowing but I was like come on we’re almost there and we finally made it home. Got to my apartment and let her out, and I noticed she was doing like this panting thing like how a dog would pant and it looked like she was breathing really fast, which kind of scared me, I was like uhh, should I call the vet again?? so I googled it and the first website I clicked on was like “IT’S PROBABLY DEADLY, GET TO YOUR VET ASAP” which made me nervous but perhaps seemed a bit premature, so I clicked on the second one that said it was a common response after strenuous activity or getting too hot and that as long as it stopped relatively quickly they’ll be fine, and it did stop not too long after so that was a relief. I went on my computer for a little bit before leaving for the chiropractor. good session, everything’s been going well there. Came back afterwards and worked for another few hours, I’m now like 630 pages into the 1700 page record (I got through a lot more today because a lot of it was stuff like medical records that you can more scroll through and not have to read every line whereas obviously with testimony and decisions you have to be super precise. Around 9 I stopped working and watched an episode of Jessica Jones, which continues to be good, though this episode definitely stepped up the weird. I very much do not trust this “Erik” fellow and I don’t like what he’s led to so far. but I guess we’ll see how that goes. Once that was over I switched over to the news, which I watched for a bit, and around the time they were going to switch over to the late night shows I turned the tv off to shower and start getting ready for bed, and now I’m here. Don’t have any formal engagements tomorrow but still got a lot to get done, I got to at least go through my clothes enough to pack for the NY trip and I mean I really should just finish all of it while I’m at it, I need to get more work done, I need to call that one person about an intake from last week, I hopefully need to clean some of the very messy kitchen before dumping that all on my roommate when I leave for the weekend, so you know, plenty to get done there. my business cards came in today which look really nice so I’m happy about that. And yeah, that’s about it. It’s now 1:06 am so I should really be getting to bed and so that is what I am going to do now. Goodnight peeps. Stay awesome.

[neutralonketchup]

all of them. every single one

sweet and pure asks

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

not really. I believe that people can be very similar and naturally complimentary to one another but I believe too much in people’s ability to change and not enough in fate to believe in soul mates. also I think its restricting to think that there’s one perfect person out there for you and that each person you meet could be them so you Better Not Lose Them. so yeah tl;dr No

💌- diary or journal?

Journal

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

Most recently Llewyn Davis which isn’t a good thing but more generally probably any iteration of Peter Parker

💕- are you crushing on someone?

Nope, and i haven’t been for an Almost Concerning amount of time

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

The rain, simply because you can feasibly see whats goin on

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

😴👻🍂☔️🧙🏼‍♂️

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

Not a specific memory but more a Genre of memory: summers as a like 10-13 year old, having absolutely no responsibilities or obligations, waking up to a cool breeze blowing through the window and knowing that the day is entirely truly yours. It was the most relaxing state of being and I doubt I’ll ever feel that again. More recently a few days ago me n a buncha my friends sat down and played Minecraft on a LAN server for like 7 straight hours and it’s honestly the most fun I can remember having in a long time

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

I really like lavender, but also white roses are beautiful in how delicate and pure they are, and cherry blossoms will never not take my breath away

💖- have you ever been in love?

I honestly don’t know. Possibly? The trouble with love is I don’t know if you ever know you’re in it until you’re in it.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

Vanilla

🍯- describe your favorite smell

The smell carried by the wind on a grey, blustery, intermittently stormy fall day. The kind of day where the only sunshine you see comes down in rays through distant breaks in the clouds and when you step outside the smell of wet leaves and winter on the way fills you with a Sense Of Power.

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

1. To constantly have enough money for whatever I wanted to spend it on

2. To make everyone in the world respect the Human Rights Of eachother

3. Shape-shifting

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

Cookie dough

☕- coffee or tea?

Tea, black with cream and 3 sugars

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

The sea. I’ve always thought since I was a little kid that if I could live underwater I’d be the most comfortable I’d Ever Be

🍂- what’s your middle name?

Robert

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

Libra (which is why these are all paragraphs explaining my indecisiveness), Capricorn, and Leo

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

Curl up next to a window and read or play video games or watch a movie or do something to recharge in proximity to the storm

🍭- how tall are you?

6’ 2”

💒- which show would you want to live in?

Oh gosh most of the shows I watch take place in worlds that’d Kill Me, and that includes Galavant but imma still say Galavant cuz Swords + Singing + Dumb Comedy is an ideal way to live. Runner up is the X-files cuz I’d die but I’d die in an atmospherically pleasing way and that’s all I need.

��- what is your favorite holiday?

Halloween. No contest. There’s candy, a fun spooky atmosphere, good weather, and absolutely no obligation to travel home and see family

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

I’ve got one right now that’s called Waterfall I think that is perfect in a way I think scented candles should be which is that it makes the room smell imperceptibly good. You don’t consciously notice when it’s lit but the room smells subtly Better

🎶- favorite song right now?

Movement by Hozier

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

The number one way is humor but I don’t mean that in a Tell Jokes kinda way I mean like you gotta be able to pick up on and run with bits with me and be able to have a back and forth so I guess it’s more creativity in general than just humor but like if you take a joke I make and run with it and send it right back my heart melts, like all my friends are So Funny I love them so much. Other than that kindness and a gentle nature because that means you’re a person I can easily be around and on top of that passion. For whatever. I know people who are super into Silent Film and Flags and Irish Poetry and all sorts of other stuff that I’m not particularly into myself but I love hearing about it because they’re all so passionate about it and they make it interesting with their own interests and Yeah

🍩- current mood?

Weirdly Alive which is strange because I’ve been sleepwalking through life for almost 6 months now

❄️- what is your favorite season?

Fall and nothing else comes close. It’s magical.

💍- your current relationship status?

Single and Staying That Way

📷- a photo of yourself

Here’s one from tonight

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?

I mean on the level that everyone does cuz doing things for yourself sucks but tbh I can’t stand it because I can’t accept people going out of their way for me

���️- 3 habits you have?

1) Pacing. I do it constantly, to the point where it makes others uncomfortable

2) Whistling. It’s my brains autopilot function and probably really annoying for those around me

3) Drumming on things with my fingers

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

Honestly Not Well. I don’t think a lot of myself. Like I think I’m smart and decently funny and like kinda attractive but I have no motivation and no marketable skills and no confidence. So basically as someone who is kinda Lost currently

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

From what I’ve gathered, better than I do myself. People seem to think I’m funny and like a good dude to be around. But at the same time I think I’m pulled in so many different directions in my life that I’m not Overly Close with too many people so I don’t think a lot of people think they can come to me with stuff which is sad but something I’m trying to change. Also people come onto me a lot so potentially I’m Hot? Needs more research

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

Well things I find attractive universally are humor, a nice smile, contagious laughter, intelligence, confidence, passion, and sorta grunge-y, indie clothes. I really like glasses. And I’m a big fan of tall lanky scruffy dudes, which I think calls for some introspection on my part as to my Image but that’s a whole different issue

🍓- one secret about yourself

I cried for 2 hours straight after watching Honey I Shrunk The Kids at age 7

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?

Prolly really dumb. I haven’t had one (that I’ve been consciously aware of at least) for a while but I like go outta my way to talk to them and talk about them and do shit specifically to impress them and all that kinda fun stuff

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?

I’m not Emotionally Prepared to be in a relationship at this stage in my life, I’m not happy when I’m committed like that, so my last couple have been because of my own unhappiness and uncertainty

💬- what your last text message says?

My last message sent to someone was over Snapchat and was just “it’s a concern” but my latest actual Text Message was “That is understandable and I will now be turning myself in to campus police”

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

I’m currently avoiding TV shows because if I start one I’ll HAVE to finish it asap and I can’t handle that kinda restriction on what I can watch (I’ll get around to it) but the most recent one I binged was The Haunting Of Hill House which is phenomenal please watch it

⛅- what is your morning routine?

Wake up, turn off my alarm, wake up again approximately 3-5 minutes before the start of my first class, sit up slowly cursing heavily, pull on the same pants from last night cuz my belt and wallet are still in them, throw on a sweater, brush my teeth/deodorize, put on walking music, walk to class and prepare an excuse

💗- who do you miss?

Currently not any one person specifically but most of my Theatre Friends have been Super Busy with a show for the past like 2 months straight so I haven’t seen any of them outside of class and I really miss them but the show has Ended so I’ll be seeing them more now

🥀- last time you cried?

Last week my friend asked me if I’d removed a box of old dumplings from my car that’d been there since mid January (I had not) and I burst into tears

🎁- when is your birthday?

September 29 1998

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

Probably the time me n my friends drove out to a Haunted Bridge in the middle of the night to “find a ghost” and we didn’t find anything but i was terrified the whole time anyways. Also the time I thought someone had broken into my home over the summer and had to Sweep and Clear with a meat cleaver

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?

Close to my age, which might change as I get older and age starts to matter less but right now it’s a big deciding factor in Shared Life Experience

[chameleon-of-the-fandom]

Repetitive Treatment: Chapter 9

Words: 1341

AN: Again, not a doctor, so the medical things may not be accurate. Enjoy though!!!!!

A week later, you are sitting on the edge of your hospital bed, waiting to be discharged. Alex's hearing is on Monday, and you plan on going. As much as it terrifies you, you know you have to be there for closure. You are being discharged today as you had come down with a small infection that had to be monitored longer. But now, you are casted up and ready to go- as soon as the doctor okays it that is. Sweet Pea is the one driving you home today, as your parents had to go into work for a bit. You couldn’t be happier though, as you and Sweet Pea had grown closer this last week. Sometimes though, his behavior makes you suspicious, especially since if you were around, he wouldn’t be as physical in his anger, and you knew that was a part of him. But he had quieted down, not that you were complaining. Finally, the doctor walks in.

“Hey, (Y/N). How’s everything feeling today?”

“Good, I’m so ready to be out of here.” Doctor Sillaw smiles.

“I bet. So, I reviewed your chart from yesterday, and it looks like you are all good to go. You just need to continue exercising that lung, to avoid pneumonia, and continue to rest. Do not overdo it. I can’t stress that enough. If you overdo it, you will end up back here. And I would really like to avoid that, alright, kiddo?” He asks.

You nod, “Yep!”

“Good. So, I have the discharge paperwork right here,” he sets it on the rolling table, “and the meds, I have sent the prescriptions out, so you can get those filled asap.”

“Good.” You yawn, you guess the excitement from everything this morning must finally be hitting you. The doctor chuckles before excusing himself, and not to long after, Sweet Pea shows up with a wheelchair, which you don’t protest. He tucks your grungy hair behind your ear and kisses your forehead.

“Let’s go, (Y/N/N).” He says. Sweet Pea can tell your exhausted, so he grabs the discharge paperwork and carefully wheels you out to his truck. You’ve fallen asleep on the simple ride.

 Sweet Pea gently picks you up out of the wheelchair, and sets you up in his truck before buckling you in. He puts the paperwork in the glove compartment, and runs the wheelchair back into the hospital before quietly climbing into the driver’s seat of his old green and white truck. He starts and winces with the loud rumble before checking to make sure you hadn’t woken up. Satisfied, he meticulously drives the both of you home. When he arrives at your house, you are still out, so he picks you up bridal style and carries you into the house, and up to your bed. He tucks you underneath the covers, and dashes back out to his truck to grab the bag of clothing, the spirometer, and the medical paperwork. Once done, he starts the laundry, waiting for you to wake up, and decides to read the discharge summary, so he knows what he can do to help.

Three hours later, and Sweet Pea looks up from the paperwork to go check on you. He can’t believe how much time has passed. He fishes his phone out of his pocket on his way to check up the stairs. He finally gets it as he enters your room. He sees you rubbing your eyes, clearly still exhausted.

“Hey.”

“Sweet Pea.” He smiles at you, and you gesture him onto the bed. He softly crawls in, and smiles as you snuggle carefully into his side. As you fall back to sleep, he checks his phone again. 3 Unread messages. He clicks on Toni’s name first.

Hey, SP. How’s our girl?>TTopaz

Not too bad. SleepyJ>SPea

Next, he taps Fangs’ name.

SP! How’s she doing? Heard a rumor that you might need a love doctor, man! W2G!>Fangs F

Maybe, slight problem though. She is doing well!> SPea

Fangs’ reply is instant.

What seems to be the issue, bro?>Fangs F

I know I explode when I get angry. She won’t handle that well for a while.>SPea

Dude… That shouldn’t stop you. Just remember to take a breath and count to 10.>Fangs F

I’ve tried that… Doesn’t seem to work>SPea

So, take a walk to the gym and use the punching bag, or get one for your trailer ;)> Fangs F

That could work, I suppose…..> SPea

Gotta go, man. Stay chill!!!!! J>Fangs F

Next name to be clicked is your mom’s.

Hey, Sweet Pea, how’s my girl? Is she alright?> (Y/M/N)

She’s okay. Super tired. Slept on the way home and sleeping now.> SPea

Good. Don’t let her sleep too long tho. She won’t sleep tonite L> (Y/M/N)

No worries. I was gonna let her sleep for another hour or so.>SPea

Fantastic! Thanks hun!>(Y/M/N)

He grins at your mom’s usage of the pet name. It’s been a long time since anyone called him that.

He holds true to what he told your mom. He lets you sleep for another hour before gently waking you up. “C’mon sweetheart…. Wake up for me.”

“Just five more minutes.”

“If you don’t want dinner, sure.”

“Fiiinnnneeeee.” He chuckles at your whine.

“That’s what I thought.”

“I was promised food.” You rub your bleary eyes, and pout. He continues to smile at your antics.

“Fair enough. It’ll be up shortly.” He goes downstairs to warm up some chicken noodle soup. Sweet Pea briefly wonders how you aren’t sick of it yet. And as he watches it warm up, he doesn’t notice you slowly and gently descending the staircase.

You listen as the microwave beeps and the door proceeds to be opened and shut. You make your way out to the couch before lightly sitting down. Sweet Pea must open a drawer and grab a spoon because you hear a tinging sound before Sweet Pea’s footsteps grow louder. “Out here, Pea.” You say, careful not to shout. You’re not sure he heard you until you see him come around the corner of the couch. You are wearing a sweatshirt that’s at least two times your normal size.

Sweet Pea feels his face warm up at the sight of you on your couch, wrapped in a sweatshirt way too big for you. And suddenly, he thinks you would be that much cuter if it was his sweatshirt. He sits softly next to you and waits for you to get comfortable leaning on him before he hands you the soup. He smiles as you groan at the aroma and nearly laughs when you moan as you eat it. “Would you like me to leave the room?” He asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Maybe that would be best. Leave me and the soup alone and no one gets hurt.” You smile widely.

“Oof. Ouch. Here I thought I was loved.” Sweet Pea states jokingly.

“Never.” You say sarcastically.

“Right in the heart, (Y/N). Right in my heart.” He pouts. You chuckle for a second before groaning and handing Sweet Pea the soup so you can wrap your arms around your chest.

“Shit, are you alright, (Y/N)?” Sweet Pea’s face drops in concern and you grin up at him.

“Yeah, just forgot I can’t laugh. Now give me the soup.” Sweet Pea isn’t convinced, but hands it to you anyway.

“Okay, okay. If you insist.” He raises an eyebrow.

“I do.” You take it from him and continue to sip the broth and eat the noodles. You look up at him as he leans forward and grabs the remote, and wonder what it would be like to do this on a lazy afternoon with him. The atmosphere is comfortable, and you think that maybe you and Sweet Pea were never meant to be just friends. Maybe you were both meant to be more. But, you know he doesn’t feel the same way, and you can’t lose his friendship over this, so you’ll keep it to yourself. And hopefully, he’ll never find out.

Chapter One; Chapter Two; Chapter Three; Chapter Four; Chapter Five; Chapter Six; Chapter 7; Chapter 8

tags:

@answer-the-sirens 

@quinn-e-dawson 

@writing-yj 

@chipster-21 

@serpentmo 

@falling-stars-never-cry 

@poolpartyingwithjaws 

@acidparadox 

@theyouthfulmoon 

@fallen-for-fall 

@multifandomphenomena 

@shanetoo

@xdontxcare

[jeonsolar]

Miraculous Ladybug 2x16 Troublemaker *Commentary*

I’ve done this five? times. And some people like it. But I’m doing this simply because I find myself funny. And I need to empty my brain. So, I hope you guys enjoy my brain dump.

Ok. To start off, Thanks so much to @wild-mare-of-prosecution for giving me a link to this episode. Second, The Incredibles was awesome. 😊

Disney in Spanish? FB page is Russian? Episode in English? Wow, so multicultural.

21 minutes and two of those will be intro and credits? Sigh.

Who’s the villain again? Cuz this white dude seems like every villain in every movie ever.

Why is the mayor supervising the hotel? See? This is why the city is crumbling!

I don’t pity her because she signed up for that job. EVERYONE knows that’s how shity it is.

How French with all the kissing and lack of personal space.

Yo. Those posters make Jagged look more Jagged. That black shirt thing makes him look hot. Stop it with the 80’s clothes. Go simple and awesome.

I wish I had subtitles.

This show is about finding wives, right?

Fill my shoes?! What? That’s an entirely different show, and a bad name.

Only because he likes his adopted niece, Marinette. Also, those lace gloves are. . .  (doesn’t want to say but can’t help it) delicately feminine.

I agree Sabine. I agree.

Every homemade show like this that has real like people, they always look and sound completely out of their element. That’s how you know they’re not actors. Also, Marinette, stop being such a fangirl.

She uses the same stress reliever I do. It’s pretty annoying during exams. It annoys even me. But it also calms me down.

When. . . when did he make … the guitar? And … how? He . . . sucks … at … baking….

There’s signal.

Also, I know Asian people can be smaller than average, but this is a joke.

Holy FUCK! I thought they were going to put on Careless Whisper for a second there!!!!

Sabine knows, Penny does the same shit as Marinette.

Who is Adrien excited to see? Jagged, or the croissants?

MARINETTE? NOOO. No way. Adrien -Just a friend- Agreste, did not just say that…

*sings* Juuuustt aaaa . . . . friiiiiieeeeeeennnnddddd!

TOM HAS GREEN EYES? Girls really do go for their fathers.

I paused, and fucking shit, that hair on Tom looks so real -the beard-.

Marinette’s clumsiness deserves an award. That was impressive. Minimal effort too. 9/10

Upstairs and vague? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

… What’s with her screen saver? Did she have her computer recording Adrien while they were playing video games? That background is her room. I know someone else said it, but these are badly recycled screencaps. That could have at least made plain backdrops and they would have been believable.

If Marinette spent as much time finding where HawkMoth is as she does with collecting Adrien, Paris would be safe.

Play “Spot Random Pictures of Nino”, is fun. Which brings the question, they made random pics of Nino and they couldn’t do that with Adrien?

Adrien is dabbing in one of them.

After a throughout analysis of the pictures in Mari’s room I’m making the theory that Snapchat exists in their world and Mari just screenshots and prints Adrien’s feed.

Penny is so uncomfortable …. So am I. I don’t want to press play.

Plagg, you little shit.

Wait, how big is that house?

HOW BIG IS THAT HOUSE, THAT THEY HAVE TO REUSE THE STAIR ANIMATION?

ANOTHER FLOOR?

It would have been hilarious if Jagged had been dressed in the dress he’s holding. “Here I am modeling a Marinette original. Am I better than this model boy? I am a better model, aren’t I?”

R E S P E C T. ‘You heard the lady.” Well done Penny.

At least no one made a comment about her period. Also, is completely fair and about time she fucking put them in their place.

HOW DOES GABRIEL RUN A COMPANY IF HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME WAITING IN THAT ROOM FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, SO HE CAN DRAMATICALLY OPEN HIS WINDOW AND BE BAD?

Anime background again. Attack on titan?

I hate to admit, but I would have had the same panic attack. Social media is a bitch.

From that angle her hairstyle looked completely different and Mari looked more Asian.

What a strange lighting, it changes her eye color drastically.

“Plus, its too late already. The show’s live.” *marinette panics and looks at the camera* SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT AND SEND IT TO ME, ASAP! THIS WILL BE ALL I TEXT FROM NOW ON.

Sabine is a tiger mom and I L O V E IT! Also, Tom appears to be slightly intimidated by the tiny tiger mom.

Sabine is the best mom in the world. Tiger mom, kung fu mom. Caring mom. What else? Ultimately the most B A D A S S MOM IN THE WORLD.

Does… all of Paris have that same security system from Gabriel’s mansion? If so, why was Gabriel so confused by Chat knowing that that mansion had a security system?

What are you talking about? It’s perfect. You are already at the scene of the crime.

Adrien… that was lame.

What if Plagg only likes croissants because it reminds him of Tikki cuz she lives there… I’ll leave that one there for you guys.

Chat… You’re lucky you’re cute.

NO WAY HE LANDED LIKE THAT.

Sometimes I forget he does call her Bugaboo, and that’s not a head cannon.

No. I love Bugabo-

…. What if that was Astruc asking the fans to stop calling her Bugaboo?

Huh? My cat senses are tingling!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Why is Ladybug offering Chat Noir a tour of Marinette’s room? Why is Ladybug so uncomfortable of anyone seeing the pictures? Shouldn’t that arouse Adrien’s suspicion?

When teens hide pictures under their bed is because they do a solo bow-chick-a-bow-wow with them. Marinette has hit puberty. I don’t judge.

*Double checks Mari’s ‘porn’ stash* Adrien boxes?

JESUS CHRIST! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PICTURES? AND WHY ARE THEY HIDDEN?

Nope. Concussion.

No way she’s that fast. Is ladybug frozen?

*Careless whispers plays in the background as LB and CN hold hands*Fun fact, I actually sang it as it was happening. I don’t kid when I say these are things I say outloud as I watch them.

This is a cool shot. I like it. The focus thing? I like it.

How does he dream it? Does Adrien also write fanfiction about how it will happen? Is Adrien hidden amongst our fanfiction writers?

Are you kitten me, Chat? You are gonna judge her?

Hahahaha, Like a gun. That’s funny.

What detective movies do they watch?

So they glued her to Ladybug…. And they earrings too? Does that mean Marinette can never take them off now? Wouldn’t it be smart to also do that to Chat?

Penny: “What… what happened? Where’s Jagged?”

Ladybug: “What happened? You fucked up my room, my life, and almost my secret identity! That’s what happened?”

Chat and Penny: O.O

Ladybug: “…. I mean…. You’re always so helpful…~”

How… she… she’s gotta stay. A…. and he gotta go….

Chat: “You’re the girl of my dreams.”

Ladybug: . . . . fuck off *pushes him off the balcony*

Smooth LB, smooth.

He’s British right?

Now that! That sounds like real Paris. I like that background sound.

NILYA!

…. This . . .. this looks a lot like that little joke I wrote a few months back…..

Also, Adrien, your sneaky chat is showing.

Adrien looked mad at Mari interrupting him. Adrien, your chat is showing.

Ok. The animation of their eyebrows was soooo exaggerated that they looked angry when they are supposed to be like …. Concentrated, or confused. Make those eyebrows smaller.

THIS IS INTENSE! ADRIEN IS GETTING SMART . . . AND SASSY!!

JUST A FRIEND MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA 8D I AM SO NOT PANICKING AT ALL!!! HAHAHAHAH -Marinette

Adrien your douche is showing.

Also, Adrien, shut up Chat noir. Adrien doesn’t know she hides them under her bed and sofa.

J U S T    A    F R I E N D

Mari’s boobs got bigger. Yes. I did notice. And if there is continuation to that I’ll accept it. She is in puberty.

Isn’t… isn’t that a parallel to another scene? It feels similar to the umbrella scene. The angles.

Tikki did us a favor of reminding us that Marinette is getting better at talking to Adrien. Thanks Tikki.

I just now realized the page I’m in is not facebook. But it looks like it.

----

I.... really like this episode. Ok , so here’s the deal. My brother got a microphone. If you guys want I can record these. Truth is, a lot of my commentary gets lost because of typing. I’m fast, but not THAT fast. I could try and do it like cinema sins.  And it could help bring back the timestamps. Your call. :)

 Thanks for reading.

[mindofhills]

I just love you that much // Alex Ernst Smut

Pairing: Alex Ernst x Reader

Requested: yes “ Hello! Could you do an Alex Ernst imagine? Where the reader is really famous and Alex and her are dating. The reader is doing a show at the Staples center and Alex and the entire squad go watch because they love seeing her perform and all the girls are like talking about how good the reader is doing and stuff like that! Also could you add some major Alex fluff??💗 “ -unknown

Plot: You’re a famous singer, you’re dating Alex. You have everything you’ve ever wanted in you life. As you’re about to go and do your show in Staples center something happens ...

Warning: swearing, fluff, kissing, sexy talk etc.

Word count: 1 918 (shorter than I expected)

Age: +15

A/N: I’m back again and posting as often as I can. I’m planning on doing a Q&A day every Thursday, posting at least one story every week and just being more active in here as my blog is literally growing everyday and I want to keep it that way. So follow me for more smuts, imagine oneshots etc Enjoy! xox

I do not own that picture! Also I just made up those song lyrics so there’s that.. :D xx

Sometimes I think, why me? What did I do to deserve this? All my success, all my friends, my family, my fans and of course me loving boyfriend. He’s really and angel. He’s always so supportive, protective, loving, sweet, sexy and so much more. I really love him.

We’ve been together for a year now and it has been nothing, but amazing. We met, when Liza started dating and my music career basically exploded. I’ve been friends with Liza since like we were maybe 10 or so. I moved here, to LA and I had no friends, but her so she introduced me to her friends and that’s how I met Alex.

It was a small get-together and we started talking. He said that I looked familiar to him and I said that maybe we went to school together, trying to avoid the fact that I’m a singer. He found out that I was a singer, we talked all night long.

“Okay, I have to get going. It’s getting late.” I said sitting up, he grabbed my hand and I turned around looking at the smile on his face. “Can I send you home?” he asked me, I smiled softly and nodded my head. “Are you sure that you want to leave tho?” I asked him. He stood up, looked down at me and said “Well the only fun here is you so, when you’re going so is the fun.” he said and I laughed, he smiled back at me. 

“David, I’ll get going. See you tomorrow?” I asked him, he smiled “Yeah, of course. Bye!”he said and gave me a small hug. “Bye, David!” Alex daid to him “Where you’re going? You live here.” he said and Alex smiled. “I’ll make sure she gets home safely.” Alex said and I smiled softly. “Alright, I see.” David said and gave me and him a litlle wink. I laughed and stepped outside.

“Shit. I came here with Liza.” I said and got out my phone to call an uber. “No it’s fine. I have a car.” he said and opened the door for me.

“Yeah, you can just stop the car right in front of that gate.” I said to him and he smiled. I run down the window. “Who’s this?” a low man voice says and Alex looks at me. I smile “Hey, Rob! It’s me.” I say and the gate opens. “Yo, y/n!” he says and laughs. “Who’s he?” he asks me and I smile. “Ever since my career exploded I’ve needed a higher security, he is one of them. He’s actually more like my best friend that a body guard.” I said and he nodds.

We pull up in front of my house. “You wanna come in?” I ask him and he smiles his huge bright smile. I love his smile, I really do. “Of course!” he said very excited. I open up the door to my house, it’s rather big, but I like it. It’s nice to have a big home, when you have events and meeting all the time. It lowers the stress also if you do your meetings in your own home.

“I’m scared.” I said to Alex and he kissed me softly on my lips. You’ll do just fine, I believe in you. I know it’s a huge thing, but I’m here. We’re all here.” he said and pulled me in for a soft hug. “Don’t be scared. We’re here to support you.” Scotty said. It was nice to have all my friends here, watching me live. Toddy, Scotty, David, Liza, Kristen, Jason, Gabbie, Heath, Zane and Matt- they’re all my babies. “It’s really nice to have you guys here. It really is.” I say and we all share a big group hug.

“Y/n, you have to be on stage in 2 minutes.” Rob said and I smiled at him then looked at my friends. “Alright, bitch. Let’s do this shit, baby!” Heath said and pushed me on the stage, I laughed. I stepped a few steps more so the crowd could finally see me.” I have to admit, the screams were loud as fuck. I started laughing and waved at them. I step to the edge of the stage and sit down.

“Hey!” I say and they all scream back at me, I giggle. “More than a year ago, I went to David’s house for a party Y’all know, who David is right?” they all scream. “His this white guy, who weard black all the time, drives a Tesla and records every single fucking thing. Shit. Wait. ROB!” I look back and a “Yeah?” sounds from the stage speakers.

“Can I cuss?” I asked him and everybody laughed. “It’s your show, do what you want.” he said. “Alright. Shit. Now, where was I. Oh yeah. At that party I met this gorgeous guy, turned out his name is Alex. I liked him asap. I mean he’s hot as fuck, right?” I everybody scream.

“Well now he’s my boyfriend and I love him.” a  bunch of aww’s came from the crowd. “And at that party I met the coolest people on Earth. My best friends.” I said and looked at the back of the stage. “So y’all better come out now.” I said and everybody screamed so loud that for a second I thought I was deaf.

They all came running out and laughing. “Listen, bitch. You gotta do some special ass inviting for me the next time, okay?” Zane said to me while giving me a hug and I laughed. My fans must have heard it, because they all laughed like crazy. After giving all mu friends a hug, I looked at Alex. He stared me right in my eye and smiled at me. “I love you.” he said and a tear ran down my face. “I love you too.” I said, he picked me up and kissed me.

They all went crazy. “Wait!” David said and pulled his caera out. “CLICKBAIT!” all my friends scream, laughed and pulled out something they can record with. “Okay, now you stand here and you here. Pick her up, Alex!” Matt said and giggled. “Alright bitches. Take out your phones, we need some flashlights!” Heath said and cleaned the wires out of the way.

They all did as told and soon the crowd looked like a galaxy. “Perfect.” Jason said and sat down to get a better angle. After they all got their thumbnails, we took a selfie with my fans and I layed down. “Can we get a silence guys?” I asked them and everything went quiet. “Come here guys.” I said and they all layed down next to me. 

We layed there and I started humming my first song. “You guys weird as fuck, but I still love you!” a girl screamed and I laughed. “Love you too, boo!” and the crowd laughed. I started singing quietly and the crowd soon joined in with me.

Sometimes i just feel alone,

everything’s just too much

but when I look at you, oh baby

My heart’s full of lust

I never have to do anything on my own

“Because you’re my special lady..” Alex sang and I giggled. “You just made that up?” Gabbie asks and Alex laughs. “Well, shit..” Toddy said and we all laughed.

I continue singing the song and all my friends start singing along. Terribly, but they’re doing it. It’s the thought that counts. I’m so lucky to have them in my life. They’re always so supportive and caring right from the beginning. Specially Liza, I mean she has been my best friend for so damn long, we share a life together.

And Alex, I mean. How’s it humanly possible to be so amazing? I literally have no words to describe, how much he means to me, how much I care and how fucking much I love him. It’s just...wow.

“I’m so proud of you, baby..” he says. I look at him and I see a tear running down his face. I wipe the tear away and kiss him. “Don’t cry.” I say softly and the crowd aww’s again, we giggle. “I just love you so so so much.” he says and kisses me back. “Well lovebirds, I’m proud too!”  Matt screams and they all say “Me too!” That’s when I started crying too. Not like crying crying, but I felt a little emotional.

I stand up, wipe my tears away and smile at them. “Aw, baby!” Heath says and hugs me. “I love you guys!” I say. “Okay bitch, but you gotta stop tearin up and start singing.” Zane says and we all laugh.

Music starts playing infrom the speakers and we all start dancing. “I NEVER LIKED HIM, FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THAT HE CUTE!” David jumps and screams from on top of his luns. “HE UGLY CAN’T YOU SEE” Gabbie steps in. “FOR A LONG LONG TIME OH-OH” Kristen sings with Scotty. “I THOUGHT THAT I WAS STUPID.” Liza jumps into Davids arms and puts her arms in the air. “TURNS OUT I WAS NO-O-T” Toddy sing while taking of his shirt.

That’s when Jason and Mat step t the front of the stage. “NOW EVERYBODY ALL TOGETHER! DO. YOU. KNOW. THESE WOORDS!” At this point I gave up singing, stood back and watched this all go down. “YOU. CAN’T HA-A-VE ME!” Zane sings and dances like a pro. “Get it, bitch!” Heath screams from the back and claps his hands to the beat of the music.

It was so cool to know and see that they actually like my music and know the words to my songs. I’m pretty sure that they had to learn them by hard before the concert, because Alex told them to, but that’s okay. I giggle at the thought.

I open the door to my house and jump on my couch. “You did an amazing job!” Alex sais and jumps on me. “I didn’t know you could sing.” I said and he laughed. “I can’t, I just love you that much.” he said and kissed me passionately. I pulled him in closer and wrapped my legs around his waist. He stands up and starts walking to my bedroom. “Too far.” I said and he just puts me back down to the floor.

His tounge slippes by my lips asking for enterance and I gave it to him. I pull his shirt off and stare at his body. “You’ve seen me naked a thousands of times and you still act like it’s the first time.” he says and kisses my neck softly. “I just love you that much.” I said and he giggles. “I see, what you did there and I love it!” he murmurs, takes off my shirts and moans. “You are so fucking hot.”

I moan and kiss him putting all my feeling I have for him in that kiss, he moans in response. I turn around so I was now on top of him. That’s when the door opened. I quickly stand up and so does he. “Oh, we’re sorry, but go Alex!” Toddy sayd and I giggle nervously.

They all came to my place after the concert to superise me. They even had a cake! “It’s okay.” Scotty says and winks at Alex. They put cake down and sit down. “The show was amazing!” Liza said and hugged me. “Thank you! Thank you all for coming and being there to support me.

I really appreciate it, you’re all so cool.” they all smile. “It’s nothing, but a pleasure.” Jason says. “We love you.” Gabbie says and places her hand on my knee.

It was the coolest day of my life.

[sept-dix]

crush on you

summary: guitarist!jaehwan au in which you work as an event organiser and meet artist jaehwan by chance

a/n: requested; title is taken from a song called crush by yuna ft usher and i recommend you listen to it while reading!

the biggest indie music festival in your city is of a massive scale - thousands of people from all over the place gather to watch it and the acts featured only grow in both quality and quantity as the years pass

so being an event organiser (especially that of such a big event which involves thousands of people and so many resources) isn’t easy in the slightest, and there are times when you get so overwhelmed with the number of things you need to keep track of that you find yourself googling the easiest method to fake your own death

but the satisfaction you feel when you see the event you’ve spent so many sleepless nights planning for run smoothly is bigger than the stress so ultimately you love your job

which is why you are about to burst a blood vessel when one of the biggest acts of the night goes missing half an hour before showtime

you’re just making your way around every artist’s waiting room to confirm that they’re all prepared and present for showtime, and everything’s going fine until you reach the waiting room of this duo called JAS (jaehwan and sewoon) ((lmao))

clearly it’s a duo, so there’s supposed to be 2 people, but when you open the door there’s only one person there

“mr sewoon, do you happen to know where mr jaehwan is? it’s nearly time for you guys to get on standby for showtime”

sewoon just looks up at you blankly from the phone he had been scrolling through and goes “idk, he’s probably here somewhere. he’ll come back soon though i think, he always does this” with absolutely zero hint of any anxiety or confusion in his voice

he thinks he’ll come back soon??? you are shocked by the calmness in his voice 

but you are you, you can’t be calm like that bc it’s literally your job to make sure that the jaehwan guy is in his waiting room at this time

so once you make sure that the rest of the acts are all fine you start half walking half jogging your way around the backstage areas looking for this dude

who is nowhere to be found

you check the waiting room once more but he isn’t there either

at this point your anxiety and anger levels are about to skyrocket as you start full out running to find him

and you are just about to call a superior to inform them about the situation when you hear guitar strums coming from behind you

behind you as in the area where artists aren’t even allowed 

you are definitely angry now because it had been made clear that artists aren’t allowed here so you stomp your way to the room only to find a guy tuning his guitar

“excuse me, are you mr kim jaehwan?”

the guy stops with the guitar and looks up at you

“yeah why?”

“the show starts in roughly 15 minutes so it would be good if you could make your way over to your waiting room now”

he just nods calmly and starts making his way out of the room and you feel a spark of irritation at that bc here was this guy who had blatantly gone against several rules and stressed you the heck out but now he’s walking out so calmly as if he has no idea what the impacts of his actions were

“i believe it was made clear yesterday that this area of the building is out of bounds for artists. it would be nice if you could follow the rules so that the show can run smoothly.”

he stops and turns behind to look at you and it angers you even more because he isn’t apologetic or surprised in the least,,,

in fact he is looking at you with so much amusement in his eyes and you gotta remind yourself that the safety of the artists’ is a priority bc if not for that you would have been ready to punch him right there and then

also he is staring at you for a lot longer than you thought necessary so now you’re also confused on top of everything else

“ok sorry i’ll take note from now on”

with that he leaves the room and you start giving yourself a pep talk telling yourself to drop it bc there are more important things you have to be doing right now

so that’s exactly what you do

you forget about this irritating guy and get back to preparing stuff for the show to start and then managing the artists once it does

by the time the entire festival is over it’s a little past midnight and you are dead tired

but work hasn’t ended though because you still have to make sure all the artists leave the building by 1.30am bc that’s how long you’ve rented the venue for

and so once more you are making your way around the artists’ rooms at close to 1.15am and you are relieved to find that most of them have left the building

you don’t have to care about what happens to them after that because your job description doesn’t have anything about that lol

anyways there you are checking the rooms one by one and making sure there’s no trash or whatever left behind

and when you get to jaehwan & sewoon’s waiting room what do you see?

that’s right, somehow they are both still there with all their stuff still strewn all over the room

what the heck

by this point you’re super tired and the show’s over anyways so you drop all formalities

“hey, we have to clear the building in like 15 minutes so can y’all pack up and get going? where’s your manager?”

to your horror jaehwan is looking at you super amused once again

like what’s so funny about you doing your job?

anyways they start slowly moving to pack their stuff after that and sewoon is polite enough to clarify that they’re late because their manager told them to wait til he gets the company car for them or whatever but since he hadn’t called them to tell them the car had reached they hadn’t left either

which meant that technically the fault wasn’t theirs, it was their shitty company’s

but even after the clarification you are inexplicably irritated with jaehwan just because of his damn amusement at you

once they’re done packing jaehwan turns to you (who’s still standing there bc you don’t trust them enough to leave in 10 mins if you aren’t there supervising) and stares at you for a second before going

“can we borrow your phone to call our manager?”

“what happened to your phones?”

“they’re out of battery”

“both of them???”

“yup”

obviously this is super suspicious and you can see sewoon looking at jaehwan in mild confusion as he pockets his own phone which probably still has charge

but with how downright exhausted you are, you just give up and pass him your phone if it means they’ll get the heck out of there asap

and so he calls their manager, and they leave soon after

you finish up with everything and head home

once your head hits your pillow you pass tf out 

and you are dead to the world for a solid 13 hours, which is exactly how you miss 3 texts from an unknown number

1- hey! this is jaehwan from yesterday if you remember? the guy who kept pissing you off lmao

2 - i think your name is y/n bc that’s what i saw written on your nametag

3 - so anyway i just wanted to know if you want to go out for coffee with me today?

once you read all three messages you’re like what the actual hecK?? you are so confused bc firstly, what?

secondly, WHAT????

how does he even have your number?? and he actually wants a date with you after yesterday???? is this a prank

and what was he so straightforward and confident for lmao especially after making your job so difficult yesterday

wtf how do you even have my number?

the reply is almost instantaneous

we used your phone to call our manager rmb

so coffee? or do you prefer tea

oh for god’s sake, what in the world is going on

his replies just piss you off even more so you just ignore him and carry on with your day

but boy, he’s persistent

he messages you again the next day

ok so seems like you didn’t want coffee yesterday so how about lunch today?

once again you ignore it bc wtf 

hey you know i can see you reading my messages

WTF are u stalking me???? where are u?? i’ll report u i swear

WHAT no i meant like the,, read,, sign, as in i know u read the msg bc of the read sign omg

oh lol. anyways no i don’t want lunch sry

your cold and outright rejection isn’t enough to stop him

tbh his messages aren’t creepy stuff that border on harassment

it’s just him always requesting for you to consider him and you repeatedly going ‘not now’ lmao

and this goes on for about a week

until it’s a saturday night and you’re having a lone night in looking for things to watch

when one of jaehwan’s messages pop up on your phone screen 

and before even reading it you find yourself swiping right to delete it when suddenly out of nowhere you remember that jaehwan is an artist

and after 5 minutes of pure conflict you decide that it wouldn’t be bad to search up and watch some of his stuff

so that’s exactly what you do

and you are totally surprised with what you see?

he has a lot of solo stuff separate from his songs with sewoon 

and in those solo songs it’s mostly just him and his guitar and wow,,,

you are reluctant to admit it but his voice is crazy good

it’s so soothing and powerful at the same time

the songs themselves are good too and you are even more surprised to find out that most of them were written fully by him

you’re mildly irritated by this the next morning but you actually fall asleep listening to his music bc that’s how nice it is

when you wake up, there’s yet another message from jaehwan

just in case you forgot, reminder to come to hongdae outside xx coffee shop later at 7pm if you want! i won’t contact you anymore if you come later and decide you still aren’t interested in me 

you’re like wtf what reminder before realising that you had deleted his previous message without reading it

the whole day you’re kinda confused about whether you should go or not because on one hand, you don’t even know this guy but on the other hand, you don’t have anything to lose

you still haven’t made a decision by the time it’s 7pm

and as you sit in your apartment, watching your clock’s hands tick past 7pm, then 7.10pm, you think back to the music you’d discovered yesterday night

and in a bout of spontaneity, you throw on a coat and a scarf and are out of your apartment and on the way to hongdae before you know it, hoping that it’s not too late

as you walk towards the cafe that jaehwan had mentioned, you hear a familiar voice echoing around the area

and as you turn the corner you are surprised to find jaehwan at the corner of the street, sitting on a stool with his guitar in his hands and a microphone in front of him, with a crowd of around a 100 people stood around him 

ah, you realise belatedly, he invited me to watch him busking

you hesitantly walk towards the back of the crowd, watching him as he finishes up the current song, not knowing whether he has spotted you yet

if you are being honest, his voice is even better in real life, and the fact that he is currently singing the song that you fell asleep to is enough to make your heart skip a beat or two

you stand there silently in the crowd, watching him sing the entire song

as the song fades out, he adjusts the microphone in front of him and scans the crowd

it would be an understatement to say that his eyes literally light up once they find yours

he then leans forward and into the mic, without ever breaking eye contact with you, and goes

“this next one is a cover of a song called crush, and it has all the things i want to say to you”

drop me an ask  or message me about what you think!!! thank u for reading <3

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Defenders #10: Breakthrough! The Incredible Hulk vs. the Mighty Thor

November, 1973

Finally, an evenly-ish matched Avengers/Defenders fight! Shame that it has to happen right in the middle of a city.

Those bubbled Defenders sure look peeved though. They’re no Lil’ Vision but they’ll do in terms of glaring at the cover events.

Anyway, last time on Avengers/Defenders War: Dormammu and Loki manipulated the Defenders into collecting the scattered pieces of the Evil Eye. Feeling schemer’s remorse, Loki double-crossed Dormammu and warned the Avengers kinda. Due to situations and evidences, the Avengers and Defenders mutually think the other is evil. Dormammu is pissed that the Avengers are interfering but it doesn’t really matter. The Defenders have won every altercation and walked away with 5/6 of the Evil Eye pieces.

This time: The cover tells the truth for a change. Hulk vs Thor over the last piece of the Evil Eye. Also chapters 9-10 of the Avengers/Defenders War.

We start the issue with the Hulk casually sauntering through Los Angeles. He’s not rampaging or anything, just kind of being a large green man out for a stroll. People are still freaking out. Because Hulk.

But he finds the location where Dr. Strange told him to look for the Evil Eye fragment and rips up a chunk of pavement to reveal it buried beside a fountain. Easy peasy.

Then Thor shows up.

The narration boxes are pretty hungry for action. “Would you agree that in the realm of comics, these two beings are the best there are -- the only true titans? Then let the clash begin!”

But Thor wants to try using his words. He tells Hulk that he understands the hatred the Hulk has for the world but conquering the universe is wrong! He’s barking up the wrong tree but at least he’s trying. He tries to beseech Hulk as one Avenger to another...

But Hulk punches him.

Hulk remembers being an Avenger. Hulk remembers not liking it. And, Thor, if you would remember, you were part of the hostile work environment that drove him to quit. Remember how you kept insisting he put on a shirt?

Hulk clarifies that he doesn’t like the Defenders either. He’s only in this to help the Black Knight. Maybe later he’ll smash Dr. Strange.

And then Thor Mjolnirs him.

Sure was dumb to turn your back on him, Hulk, when Journey Into Mystery #112 proved beyond all shadow of a doubt and the most stringent of nerd arguments that Thor is the superior of the two. The strongest there is, you might say.

Hulk disagrees.

With punches.

The narration boxes now prove a bit snide, saying that’s twice Thor has opened his mouth only to insert his foot.

Anyway, now the fight is well and truly on.

Hulk teaches Thor the downsides of wearing a cape.

Hulk makes the mistake of trying to catch Mjolnir.

There’s a crowd watching now because people are stupid and also because this fight is taking place right in the middle of Los Angeles. And now Hulk is so riled that Thor thinks that only death will satisfy him now. And the crowd picks up on that fear that one of the combatants will die today.

And then there’s a pinup of Hulk wrestling with Thor. Unsurprisingly, there’s a note from Steve Englehart and Sal Buscema suggesting buying a second copy of this issue so you can cut out this page.

And apparently they hold that pin-up pose for a whole hour. Well, art takes time.

But after an hour of wrestling each other on a pile of rubble in a cool pose for a splash page, they’re interrupted by the unlikeliest of sources.

I mean, unless you’re decently good at guessing.

The combined Avengers and Defenders teams have shown up in Los Angeles to stop this fight before Marvel has to conclusively state whether Hulk or Thor is the strongest!

Still, the fight was given a decent amount of panel time. Most fights around this time get finished quickly. We’re far off from the days of decompressed story and fights that take up a single issue or more. This Hulk/Thor fight went on for about eight pages. That’s nearly half the issue and the majority of this chapter of the book.

Plus, apparently over an hour of in-comic time. An hour wrestling in the pin-up pose plus however much time the fight before that took.

That’s impressive. In a way.

Anyway, Dr. Strange says that the teams are unified (Avenders? Defengers?) at last and ready to face the common foe!

So now chapter 10: UNITED WE STAND! (a not very good Avengers cartoon. Perhaps the worst.) We turn the clock back a little and visit the Sanctum Sanctorum of Dr. Strange and his weird lizard table.

At this point, four pieces of the Evil Eye have been collected.

And Dr. Strange senses that Namor is outside the sanctum so lowers the barriers so he can come in.

Apparently Dr. Strange’s senses can’t sense a plus one because Namor brought a plus one. Hope that’s cool.

And by plus one, I mean plus one team. He has brought all the Avengers minus Thor.

Obviously, everyone is mortified. You don’t just bring guests without asking the owner. Also: we’re fighting these guys and you just brought them into our headquarters.

Namor tells them to unclench their sphincters. He has news of the vital kind.

He recaps Cap and his encounter with Sunfire, although the flashback panel he shows clearly never happened. How many times has Namor gotten hit in the head?

But the salient point is that he and Cap were forced into a truce and someone in this conflict actually sat down and talked. So Namor learned that Loki told the Avengers that the Defenders want to conquer the universe.

Obviously, this is the kind of thing that needs to be cleared up ASAP, so Namor and Cap swung a detour on the way back from Japan to pick up the other Avengers (and presumably bust Swordsman out of jail).

Cap chimes in and says obviously they weren’t just going based off Loki’s word. That’d be dumb. There was a bunch of other things that looked suspicious as hell and it would be really cool if the Defenders would see their way clear to logically explaining it.

But the first most pressing question is, hey Defenders, if you’re not seeking revenge on humanity, whats the deal with this group of malcontents?

The Defenders basically give a piecemeal non-team team defenders of humanity explanation to the Avengers. Their mission statement if you will. Except you won’t because teams have mission statements. Support groups for grumpy loners have vague common interests.

The Avengers find this weird. A non-team team? But teams are the best! But they have to respect the Defenders’ skill and power anyway. So they spend a half-hour in one splash panel socializing.

Man, time is weird in comics. Dozens of panels can represent a minute and then an hour can pass while two buff dudes wrestle in a single panel.

I do love super heroes socializing though. Its cool to see these two teams standing around talking and blatantly ignoring the one chair in the room so nobody needs to fight over who gets it.

But while they socialize we get some different moods. Silver Surfer apologizes for triggering a volcanic eruption right in Scarlet Witch’s face. Hawkeye rationalizes that he felt like the Avengers were hassling him after he quit and we sorta personally digging the idea that the Avengers were baddies. Swordsman says Hawkeye is as dumb as ever and Hawkeye calls him a spare-tire Avenger. He also says that if Hawkeye hadn’t quit the team, Swordsman would never have gotten in.

Iron Man tells Hawkeye to stifle. Because he just realized something. Both Thor and Hulk are still on the battlefield and at the same location.

Ruh roh.

Both teams run outside so Dr. Strange can use sunlight for a mass transport spell.

So now back at Los Angeles and the fight between Hulk and Thor is cancelled. Thor understands completely that someone played the Avengers for fools chumps and they gotta find out who.

Now that he thinks of it, yeah, Loki is definitely involved. He helped set the Avengers on the Defenders. But Loki was blinded during a battle in Rutland, Vermont in Thor #207 so he can’t be working alone. Rutland, Vermont you say, says Dr. Strange. What a co-ink-ee-deenk. One of the Defenders earliest battles took place in the mountains near Rutland. They fought Dread Dormammu in Marvel Feature #2.

Maybe he’s Loki’s invisible partner.

Dr. Strange decides to examine the Evil Eye pieces more closely and asks for Hulk’s section.

Hulk is completely lost. And sort of annoyed? He fought Thor for a long time to keep hold of his piece and now Dr. Strange wants him to give it up?

He smashes the street with a FOOM! because that’s how Hulk do.

The dumb bystanders start to panic and Cap tells them that this area is now off-limits on Avengers’ authority. Of course ‘lettuce-head’ is all the authority he needs, says frightened civilian.

Lettuce-head is a weird nickname for the Hulk. His hair seems more like a spinach than a lettuce.

Anyway a disgruntled Hulk gives up his section but warns Dr. Strange that its the last time he does anything the magician asks him.

And Dr. Strange starts to examine the Evil Eye. Wherein ‘examine’ means lay them on the ground in order of ascending size and stating ‘wow yep they certainly do seem to increase in size maybe I should fit them together??’

He doesn’t get the chance because the birdy cousin of that evil mask from Mario Bros 2 comes out of nowhere and starts eating the Evil Eye pieces in order of ascending size like Pac-Man on pellets.

Dr. Strange recognizes the beast as Dormammu’s servant Asti, the All-Seeing, just in time to not do anything to stop it from stealing all the pieces of the Evil Eye.

Smashing job at doing anything, you two full teams of fourteen heroes total. Way to succeed at keeping the super powerful thing called an EVIL EYE out of the hands of EVIL.

Anyway, Dr. Strange realizes that since Dormammu was hiding his presence in this conflict, revealing his hand like this must mean that the Evil Eye is of paramount importance to him. BUT WHY?

But this. Before the heroes’ eyes, the landscape of the city begins to warp and change. The familiar reforms to become alien. And the panicking people begin to alter as well.

The bystanders begin to change into monsters. (I thought Cap cleared them out?)

Dormammu’s giant flaming head appears in the sky with gaping Kirby mouth agape. And he explains how he weaseled out of his promise never to invade Earthrealm through baby word games.

With the Evil Eye, he is merging his dimension with Earth’s. Earth is becoming Dormammu’s world and in Dormammu’s world Dormammu is undisputed king. After one Earth hour, all of Earth will be Dormammu’s slaves. Dormammu.

Dr. Strange shouts at the heavens that though they were his pawns, the Avengers and Defenders will fight back!

Valkyrie and Namor get in on the shouting at sky fire man. Valkyrie says that while any of the Avenfenders live, they will never be slaves! And Namor yells that if Dormammu wants Earth, he’ll have to kill all the Defenvengers.

And things are feeling a bit Inferno-y on Earth right now. The city warping into a hellish landscape, people becoming monsters. Lacks some of the dark slapstick humor and the sorta exploration of the objectification of women. If Inferno was driven by anything, it was driven by two women getting an absolute raw deal over and over and over and over and over and over. If the Avengers/Defenders War was driven by anything, it was thinking ‘hey wouldn’t it be cool if these two teams fought?’

Still I wonder if these scenes of Earth twisting under Dormammu’s rule inspired that later storyline.

And so the Avengers/Defenders War will conclude in Avengers #118. The meaning of the arc has slightly changed. Its still Avengers, /, Defenders, and War. But now the / means together instead of versus and the war is on Dormammu.

And frankly, that’s how all hero vs hero conflicts should end. With everyone joining forces to punch a giant sky fire man. It could even be an enlarged Johnny Storm, hypothetically.

Follow at @essential-avengers, perhaps.

[remembermemorablememories]

Friday, February 1, 2019

post #389

main points:

- went for another blood test (second one)

- long shower

- started watching netflix’s show “explained” and leftover hoagie for lunch

- learned wii fit trainer for smash

- played smash online for... 4 hours

- packing for chicago/seattle

- dinner with the fam at e. buffet without sheena :’( 

- fortnite with bryan/josh (attempted but servers down)

- smash doubles with sheena

today i:

- woke up at 7:45 ish when my dad woke me up. i had my alarm set for 8am

i quickly got out of bed, grabbed my blood test papers and then took the car to leave. i needed to go asap cause my mom needed the car to drive to work

- went to the lab and waited for about 10 minutes after checking in. then got called in by the same woman who took my blood last time. her assistant wasn’t there this time though. i asked her to do it on my right arm this time cause i think my left arm is still recovering. this time she didn’t have to wiggle it around, it was a quick in and out and done drawing blood within 30 seconds

- drove back home and got back around 9am. my mom took the car and drove out to work. then i chilled for a while, watching some youtube videos. daniela andrade made a new song!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7fl5ATu5vw

- took a long shower from 9:30-10:30am

- started my laundry so that i could pack it for later tonight

- i called BU to figure out my student account inquiry cause they were still charging me for an apartment plan even though i graduated. the person on the phone said the payment will be cleared by 5pm today so i was like oh okay cool

- went downstairs to eat lunch which was my leftover chicken salad hoagie and fries. and then i browsed netflix and found a show called “explained”, which was a collab with vox. i forgot i wanted to watch this from a while back. i watched the first episode on music, which was super cool to learn and watch. i love it it’s like vox videos but 5 times longer. they’re usually 4-5 minutes but each episode is 20 minutes

- around 1pm i decided to try to learn a new character so i just randomly picked... wii fit trainer. i watched tkbreezy’s video on it at 1.5x speed. it was 38 minutes long and i spent like 25 minutes watching it/practicing in training mode

then i played online and got wii fit trainer to elite smash. then i was like... hmm i guess i’ll try to get ike into elite smash. then that worked pretty quickly. i got lucky i think. cause i got matched up against relatively bad/okay ish players so even though i didn’t practice ike, i was doing okay. then i was like... i guess i’ll try dedede. then got him into elite smash. learning dedede was very weird. also got lucky cause i wasn’t playing that well honestly. but the other players weren’t too great either and i got through and won. he has such a weird style of gameplay. then got inkling into elite smash. that was not too bad cause i played him before on the alt acc to elite smash. also i played against this really good ness, it was super fun. we kept saying “well played.” “good fight!” and other friendly taunts. elite smash cutoff right now is like 3.5mil GSP and most of the characters i have started around 3.2mil GSP

- started packing around 5pm. it was snowing all afternoon so i was gonna go outside to shovel some snow (it was like an inch maybe?) but dad came home around 4:30pm and created some basic paths. so i was like oh okay i’ll just go pack then

packed up all my clothes, drone and camera stuff

- went upstairs and wasn’t sure what to do so i tried to play falco to get him to elite smash. falco is... so weird compared to smash 4. he’s completely changed and i kind of don’t really like it. his jump is so sensitive, i can’t short hop consistently. also his moves feel so different from smash 4 >:( i played from 6-7pm. around 6:50pm i got kind of sick of playing so much smash today and was gonna take a break and watch another episode of explained, but mom came home so we were like okay dinner time

- we were gonna go to a steakhouse near us for dinner. sheena stayed after school for rehearsal and went to eat dinner with her friends. when we got to the steakhouse, the wait was 45 minutes.. so we were like, i guess we could just go to e. buffet, so we went there instead :p i ate more fried foods this time cause i was feeling more americanized food. like chicken fingers, fries, etc. nice filling meal

- got back home, took a shower and cut my nails

- i hopped on discord to play fortnite with bryan and josh around 9:30pm. chris also joined too. but then we tried to start the game and they said the servers were down for emergency maintenance... rip. we tried to play survive.io but it was only 50v50 and no squads :o 

i started typing up this blog post while chatting on discord. we were just trying to figure out what other games to play. sheena just came back around 10pm and we’re gonna play some smash doubles and then i’m gonna go to sleep

gotta wake up at 7am tomorrow morning!

it’s 10:36pm and sheena’s playing solos right now with zelda but i’m gonna join her in doubles

also health update: had bowel movement in the morning and one at night. both times small ish stools but at least no watery stuff. but when i wipe there’s some watery-ness to it :o idk what that means

okay the end. trip begins tomorrow!