#gotta fuggin sleep

[some-horny-alt]

Wanting to plan out Princess Bay's backstory, but there's just so much where I don't yet know where it'll fit in, genuinely exhausting to even think about.

Like, the basic premise is that Bay has to jump in for the "real princess" while she's off doing chosen one things, Bay gets into a ton of shenanigans, and then by the end it turns out Bay is actually the real chosen one and rightful princess, he properly gets his magic, and then he defeats a possessed evil arceus and saves the world.

Thing is, that "end" isn't much of an end. It's just the end of the backstory, but only the beginning of Bay properly. Now with a lot of events I can't even decide if I want them to happen in the backstory, or with "proper Bay", let alone when exactly they'll take place and how. That really makes it hard to even know how to start properly planning things out.

[moodbroads]

me boutta get some snacks from the pantry since im fuggin craving and starving for cookies

MY MA RANDOMLY TALKING TO ME IN THE DARK (shh i know its a mule deer) FR THO LIKE WHY U GOTTA DO THAT IT WAS A JUMPSCARE IRL BASICALLY T_T

cookies were a success anyways ma just wanted me to sleep teehee

[365days365movies]

February 14, 2021: Brokeback Mountain (2005) (Part 1)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Or Palentine’s, Galentine’s, Single Persons Appreciation Day, what have you!

Anyway, on this day where we (and the greeting card companies) celebrate love in all of its forms, I think it’s about time to diversify my movie choices a little bit. SO, for the next few days at least, we’re going to change it up, starting with a film that shook the 2005 public’s perceptions of love: Brokeback Mountain.

And who brings this movie to us? Same guy who gave us this:

And this:

And would give us this:

Ang Lee wasn’t originally meant to be the director of the film, as Gus van Sant was signed on to do it. You know, Good Will Hunting, Drugstore Cowboy, that one movie where Una Thurman plays the greatest hitchhiker in the world with giant thumbs, and eventually finds herself meeting multiple people, including Keanu Reeves, Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid), and a group of radicalesbians who like in the Great Plains, coexisting with a group of critically endangered whooping cranes to whom they;’ve fed peyote, while also opposing the intentions of an evil feminine hygiene product company that seeks to take over the land for their factories? YOU KNOW, THAT MOVIE?

It’s called Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, and I wasn’t even slightly exaggerating with that summary, I SWEAR.

Anyway, he couldn’t do it, and Joel Schumacher also passed on it eventually, so they asked Ang Lee if he’d do it. After CTHD and Hulk, dude was on his way to retire, but after he cried at the end of the script, he accepted the job. AND HISTORY WAS MADE

Before I get into it, I should probably frank about something. I’m a cissexual, heterosexual man in a straight relationship with my girlfriend. She says hi, by the way. Here she is, a massive Jake Gyllenhaal fan, getting ready to watch this movie for the first time with me:

Isn’t she lovely? Anyway, just thought I’d be totally transparent about that. Incidentally, I remember when this film came out, as well as the fervor around it. This was JUST as the gay marriage debate was EXPLODING into the public scene, so this was obviously quite the talking point at the time.

 Anyway, shall we find out who’s not going to quit whom? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Cowboys Ennis del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) are waiting outside of a trailer, with Ennis having just arrived  on a truck that reminded me of Optimus Prime, and I’m sorry. They’ve been hired by Joe Aguirre (Randy Quaid) to look after a group of sheep and guide them over Brokeback Mountain, a fictional mountain in Wyoming.

The two finally introduce each other, with Ennis seeming considerably closed off as compared to the open Jack Twist. They head to a bar, where the two get to know each other a but better Jack’s an occasional shepherd, but highly involved in rodeos throughout the year. Ennis, meanwhile, is a regular ranchhand at his family’s farm.

Time for sheep-herding, as the two guide their flock of sheep on horseback, with soft country guitars playing in the background over all of it. And I gotta say, the music combined with the visuals is giving me this real sleepy ambience vibe that I 100% would watch specifically to fall asleep to. Which is not an insult by any means, by the way; it’s just super relaxing.

The two make camp with the sheep in a mountain valley, and now I want to go camping. I realize that it’s February, and I live in a place VERY non-conducive to camping, but GODDAMN this movie makes me want to go camping. In the wilderness, surrounded by bird calls and crisp mountain air, LET’S GO.

We find out that Ennis is engaged to be wed to a woman named Alma, while Jack is yearning to break free of needing to take jobs like this. And all the while, they’re eating beans, scaring away coyotes, and fending of REALLY REALLY FAT American black bears, who you could really easily scare away without too much difficulty. You ever stared at a bear while both of you were in the woods? I HAVE. And we BOTH took off from each other in opposite directions. They’re not the bravest of animals, black bears. Grizzlies, however, you don’t wanna fuck with.

Anyway, after they face off against that bear and lose their newly bought supplies, they go hunting the next day and take down an elk. Which is a LOT of venison, I tell you what! Oh, and I’m not a hunter, just to be clear, but elk are fuggin’ HUGE. Seriously, XL deer they are.

Anyway, time goes on after that, and they continue to make their way through the mountains. And they get to know each other more, sharing their rodeo experiences and family backgrounds. Ennis also opens up pretty considerably, a fact not missed by Jack. The two become friends.

My girlfriend asks an interesting question: if I had never heard of this movie in any capacity...would I have known the extent of the relationship of Ennis and Jack? And honestly...I’m legitimately not sure at this point. I think I would’ve just assumed that they’d stay close friends, but no further than that. Call that being raised in a society with heterosexual bias towards relationships, or call that me not being a natural shipper. Both are probably accurate, to be honest.

Anyway, it’s getting cold out, and Jack’s sleeping in the tent one night while Ennis is freezing his balls off outside. With Jack’s insistence, he goes inside the tent to sleep next to Jack. And then...

Oh. Well, OK. Again, though, still not sure that at this point I’d...oh wait...OH...OH.

OK. Think I’d be able to tell at this point what the movie’s about.

So, yeah, they have sex. It’s spontaneous, it’s wild, it’s heat of the moment passion...and it’s REAL awkward the next day, I tell you what. That next evening, Ennis and Jack both insist that they “ain’t queer,” and that this is “a one-shot thing they got goin’.”

Uh, boys? There’s some important evidence to the contrary that we should consider here. But, OK, it’s a different culture, this is super new to you both, I get it. I’m not one to talk on the coming out or discovery experience (again, straight cis dude over here), but I understand that there’s some inherent denial. But still, they continue their relationship as is, for the time being.

Which is not as private as they thought, as Joe Aguirre observes them chasing each other naked on the mountain from afar. Whoops. Well, it doesn’t matter as much, as they still have a job to do until summer ends. And that job continues. They encounter another herd of sheep that gets tangled up with theirs, snow falls on the mountain and they have to deal with that, etc.

Then one day, the two need to head out. Jack goes to fetch Ennis, who’s moping on a hillside about something. He does this play lasso thing, which seems cute...

...until it turns into a full on brawl right there on the hillside. OK. Well. Some heavy denial going on here, I think, especially on Ennis’ part. Which is somewhat understandable, given the culture, and the fact that Ennis is engaged. Oh, by the way, hello infidelity. GodDAMN IT. Escaped you for TWO MOVIES IN A ROW, and you’re back rearing your ugly head.

Anyway, the job is done soon, and Aguirre’s not exactly happy with them, as they’ve apparently lost some sheep and picked up some from the other herd’s flock accidentally. With a light rebuke from Aguirre, the two part ways with not much else said. Jack asks if Ennis will come back the next summer, and Ennis reminds him that he’s getting married that fall. But as Ennis leaves...

Huh. Interesting reaction, that. Well, in the next scene, Ennis gets married to Alma Beers (Michelle Williams), and they seem to have a very happy relationship. They have two daughters together in a pretty small amount of time. The next summer, Jack tries to get a job with Joe Aguirre once again, but is refused on account of his relationship with Ennis on the mountain...kind of.

See, here’s the thing. Joe rebukes Jack for having their relationship on the mountain, leaving the dogs to babysit the sheep, rather than do the job they were hired for. And, uh...he’s not wrong, honestly. Yeah, OK, there’s definitely some homophobia laced in there, obviously, but they were hired to watch the sheep, and we only really saw them do that once or twice. So, yeah, sorry to say, but Joe’s not entirely unjustified in not rehiring Jack.

At a Fourth of July festival, Ennis brings his wife and daughters to see the fireworks, when a couple of bikers antagonize the crowd as a whole. This results in Ennis telling them to stop, and a fight takes place, with Ennis IMMEDIATELY taking out the two bikers, with little effort. Anger issues there, Ennis? 

Jack returns to the rodeo, with new other options for money. He’s clearly also coming to terms with his own sexuality, as seen when he not so subtly hits on a cowboy at the bar. However, he also meets a young woman, a barrel racer named Lureen Newsome (Anne Hathaway), whom he seems to get along with fairly quickly at a rodeo. They dance together at the bar that night, and, uh...park.

And that, of course, leads to their eventual marriage and parentage as well. Looks like Lureen’s parents arent the biggest fans of Jack, though. Sure that’s going to lead to a healthy relationship down the road.

Been about 4 years since Brokeback Mountain, and this is punctuated by Jack paying a visit to Ennis’ place, which Ennis is told about by Alma. He seems...very anious, waiting nervously for a day to see him. But he finally arrives, and the two embrace happily. And then...

Oh, and Alma sees? Sure, sure, oh, and they go to a motel IMMEDIATELY? Oh, OK, OK, infidelity? Yuuuuuuupyupyupyupyupyup, halfway point? Yeah, sure, see you in Part 2. Geez.

[marjiandco]

#9: Lush

TW: alcoholism, mentions of alcohol

Music blared beneath the low, pulsing lights of the underground club. Fog bloomed across the feet of the dancers, a mixture of cigar smoke and cooling mist. Plush couches and thin tables dotted around the outside of the room, broken apart by bars overflowing with all sorts of alcohol, from the lowest limsan grog to near unobtainable wine from well sought caskers. Even with the limited amount of space, it felt the room was slick with sweaty bodies, all bouncing to the sound of one miqo'te man his band. He sounded great, but steadily the music became more discordant with his vocals. He was getting drunker and drunker by the second.

“Alright alright alright.” He shouted from the small stage, wiping across his mouth. “You beautiful people are going to have to wait for the next set.” He waited for the groan from the crowd, a toothy grin spreading across his face as he stumbled towards the stairs to the right. “I gotta take a piss.”

His bandmates, some local kids he picked up for a pack of cigarettes and a handshake, continued on without him. Didn't matter too much to him; he was sweaty and tired and didn't want to get back up on that stage for the remainder of the night. He passed by a table and swiped one of the ill watched flagons and drained it in a few gulps as he headed for his favorite seat in the house. There were a couple of elezen girls there but with a few lewd remarks and matching hand gestures they were quick to clear off of it. He flopped down onto the won seat, placing his feet up on the table as he flagged down one of the wandering waitresses.

“Hey girlie why don't you get me something nice hm? Entertainin' ain't an easy job.” He held up two fingers and watched her hazard a smile in his direction, barely waiting to turn as it fell into a frown. It didn't matter, as long as she came back with something strong.

He gazed out at the club, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“What are you doing here?”

The miqo'te rolled his eyes, laying his head back towards the sound of a disapproving voice. A tall elezen with flowing white hair stared down at him. A sore thumb out of place as he still wore his traveling coat. A dirty, ratty thing Ooji'a couldn't understand why he'd wear it voluntarily. The elezen's pale eyes looked at him like he was an insect, some mixture of revulsion and pity.

“I thought my babysitter was in another dimension.” Ooji'a sniffed. “Unless you're looking to fill the role.” He flipped over, his knees now sinking into the cushion as he danced two fingers up the elezen's chest, his eyes narrowing and tail flicking “I put out if I can stay up later Mr. Estiniens” He slurred.

Estinien pushed his hand away as Ooji'a cackled to himself.

“Tataru asked me as a favor to check on you, and I can see why. You look like you drank half the sludge in here.”

“Can't a man have a night to himself when he's had a bad day at work? You could take a few swigs to lube the stick up your ass there buddy.”

Estinien closed his eyes and mumbled a string of profanities to himself. “Marji told me you could get like this.”

“Like what.” Ooji'a growled.

Wordlessly Estinien grabbed the miqo'te by the collar and hauled him unceremoniously over his seat. Ooji kicked over the table as he flailed under the other man's strength as he dragged him out of the club and threw him onto the street.

“What the fuck is your problem I have tips in there” he shouted at him.

“I knew you were a pain when we were in Garlean territory but this is pathetic. You fail once and you decide to drown your sorrows? You're not even worth the effort the scions are putting into you even for the warrior of light's sake.”

Ooji'a rushed to his feet, brown spots dancing in his eyes as he curled his fists. “Yeah an' what's she gonna say when she see's her lalafell brats body? You think she's gonna be cheery and understanding?”

He launched a fist at the elezen's face, who clicked his tongue as he stepped out of his way. Ooji whirled on his feet to try again and missed by a long shot, tripping over his own feet and smashing so hard onto the street his nose exploded in blood.

“Menphin'as leb tit.” He growled, covering his face as he sat up. “He's all cut up cause we were too slow. And we barely made it out of that fuggin' castle. I'm not a godsdamned fighter I fuggin' sing in bars.”

“Get a hold of yourself for Halone's sake. You're getting on the first airship out of here and back to the rising stones. Sober up and stop this temper tantrum.” Estinien said, picking Ooji'a up by the forearm. He reached into his pockets and shoved a bag of gil into the miqo'te's free hand. “We're taking you to an inn to sleep it off. As soon as you wake I'm sending you back and I'll be free of the lalafell's demands. Now, hurry up.”

[lynxgriffin]

Straight Outta Monster Narnia

HEY HEY I WASN’T EXPECTING TO DO THIS EVER AGAIN BUT WE’RE BACK

I’M GONNA PLAY ME SOME DELTA RUNE HERE

THOUGHTS AS I GO! ARE UNDER THE CUT!

Here we GOOOOOOO~!

Survey Program! Nice! Ominous!

I am here yes!

Truly excellent dude

OH MAKING A VESSEL NOW what are we Xehanort

NEATO I can pick Chara or Frisk heads or others…

Let’s do someone new. This kinda longish hair head.

STRIPES FOR DAYS! Longish sleeves, methinks

The legs are almost all the same LMAO

This is so friggin creepy I l OVE IT

Favorite food is PAIN nah it’s soft

BLOOD TYPE D. D for DOGGO

You have been gifted with kindness, not-XionFrisk

Pain AND seizure. Kinda wonder what happens if you say no tho…

But I don’t want to start over so let’s go with yes

OH FRIGGIN BUUUUURNED BY THE GAME, HAHAHA

Hi Toriel, you’re looking nice!

That’s a lot of friggin trophies over there

Also Kris, you need some eyes

RELIGIOUS SKA

So we have overachieving perfect child and sad boring child, okay

Awww Gerson wrote a book! How neat

It’s only you…..FOR NOW!!!!

It just isn’t home without white fur stuck in the drain, is it

CHAIRIEL’S RETURN!!!!

Also there’s some weird graphical flicker going on when I move and I wonder if it’s not because I’m playing full screen here

“Spray For The Boys, Flamin’ Hot Pizza Flavor” Damn Toby I missed your incredible sense of humor

DOES TORIEL USE PET SHAMPOO please say yes

ASRIEL’S AT COLLEGE AND UNDYNE’S A POLICE MONSTER, PERFECT

PROFESSOR ALPHYS IMMA GET AN A+ IN ANIME CLASS

DAMN who do I pick as my partner

Like…I really want Temmie…but also Snowdrake…

Random snake is also very good…

Ahhh I see this is gonna be pre-determined

HAHAHAHA FUCKIN BURNED AGAIN BY THIS HORRIBLE BLUE DUCK

Thank you cool snake I love your origin story

Oh this reindeer girl is very cute

MOTHA. FOKKIN. SUSIE

I instantly love her, goodbye

Oh Alphys you’re so not good at putting anyone in trouble

I JUST REALIZED TEMMIE HAS HER EGG ON THE DESK

Susie are you eating chalk

Oh sheet I like Susie less now

GAH DAMN THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

Susie, Kris doesn’t even HAVE a face

Haha totally cut off my answer there

Hmm. I sense…a theme here.

Wow this really is putting on the restrictive aspects here

Now that’s a spooky face

Oh it ain’t gonna be that simple, mean girls

Well, this sure seems like an underground! Also…Kris is green now, okay

Hi there creepy waving things!

To reiterate: this is soooo creepy AND I LOVE IT

Puzzles! We got puzzles again! CREEPY PUZZLES

Whelp, we found Susie, just kinda hiding out in a…dead dust bunny thingie

LOL so much for a party member following you around

Well this is a new and interesting take on the bullet hell mechanics

Such interesting and different architecture

THE KINGDOM OF DARKNESSSSS

Yes let’s take a sudden HARD SHIFT into Final Fantasy

THE QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS that was an MST3K ep you know

About like…Leonardo da Vinci actually. Except he was a whiny bitch

LMAO Susie just “nah destroying the world sounds neat”

JOKESTER SANS GLIDES IN A FLAMING TRICYCLE SURE WHY NOT

VERY DIFFERENT COMBAT SYSTEM

“Dunno how I got an ax but like, that’s cool”

CAN’T WAIT FOR THE REMIXES OF THIS BATTLE MUSIC OKAY

Dunno if there’s a pacifist version of this game but I stick to tradition so I’m gonna try it

RALSEI. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

THE POWER OF FLUFFY BOYS SHINES WITHIN YOU it sure as hell does, game

The heckin heck Ralsei is so cute

Yup yup we gonna try pacifist this first time!

“If you’re reading this…I guess you’re dead.” Fair enough.

Gaster noises when trying to use the cell phone, hmmmm…

It’s an inverse papou fruit!

Susie just up and attacks this cake, all right

Battle is cool but it’s gonna take some getting used to, think I accidentally used both of my items

YOUR SENSE OF DIRECTION WON’T SAVE YOU NOW

“It’s like a dinner made out of three glasses of milk” Ralsei you’re SO CUTE

Now to see if TP stays leveled between battles…

“I thought you were running away.” / “Yeah, I finished.”

Fugdamn I want —pictures of Spiderman— remixes of this music ON MY DESK TODAY

FRIGHTENING FANFARE

Damn that puzzle still is tricky

Gah damn that was hilarious but also terrifying

We have the power of FLUFFY BOYS and MEAN GIRLS we are UNSTOPPABLE

Ohhh so that’s what the heart outline does!

Now that is a coooool cat and I like him already

Awww I don’t have enough money for the spooky sword

Susie just roastin’ everybody left and right

THEY GOT BARRY

These mechanics continue to be interesting and a bit more complex

“Damn, didn’t get to impale myself” I’m sure you’ll get your chance Susie

It’s really interesting how we’re basically group-battling to PREVENT the tank from beating the crap out of everyone

Oh now that light trick is weird

They keep throwing the usual chess and playing card guys at us and somehow I’m Suspicious

Is that a bucket. ARE Y’ALL HOMESTUCKING AT ME AGAIN

LMAO did Susie call us the Fuckboys or something

Oh, the Shit Squad, I guess!

THE POWER OF THE SHIT SQUAD SHINES WITHIN YOU HECK YESSSS

“I, Mr. Society, am far too intelligent to ever bow down to such a tyrant!” Hmmm.

Oh, it’s Sir Lion Plateface again

L E G S

THE BOSS JUST DRINKS A GALLON OF MILK THAT’S FINE

Well Ralsei got kinda junked there but WE DEFEATED SIR LION PLATEFACE

Cakes…are also my enemy…

Yeeeeah kinda saw that one coming

Susie I get the feeling you’re not going to enjoy being a bad guy either

Dang son I have no clue what’s going on anymore WE JUST HAD SOME SALSA IN A TREE STUMP

This jack’s got my number

That sure is a three-eyed three-headed cat thingamajig

Awww I like Clover

“All proceeds go to kicking your ass” CAN I USE THIS LINE IN REAL LIFE PLEASE

Hot damn we just squeaky hammered our broken cake into ULTIMATE CAKE

Why does a sweet little boy have a mustache indeed.

Create a machine to thrash your own ass, nice

It’s my beautiful death laser duck! Tops in GUN’S

Man Susie and Lancer are just having the time of their lives here

Finally, respect for pinecone-eaters!

Awww Susie, are you actually starting to worry about someone who respects your eating of chalk and pinecones

Oh thank goodness, got through that maze thing

Yes, finally, it’s our DUCK TANK LASER

Why does it say Tuna on it

“Your design sucked so we blew it up” This is like that one Berlin tour guide I had

GANGED UP ON THEM WITH KINDNESS, HA

Whelp, back to telling enemies that Susie will kick them in the shins I guess!

YES LANCER JOIN THE SHIT SQUAD

OMFG THAT FAAAAACE WHAT IS THAT FACE

Hey we’ve got a full Final Fantasy team now! Neat

STOOL FORME

I like how Lancer just sliiiiiides around outside the party instead of walking with

Hmmm well that friendship feeling didn’t last long

You done got locked in the dungeon

Yup sure did eat that jail moss two minutes in

HUH, we’re controlling Susie now

In which choices do not matter…

SUSIE’S FOKKIN PISSED

And we can’t control her actions…but why controlling the human soul?

A pair of eyes got arrested?! What IS the world coming to?!!

Oh dear, we found a bunch of kings in baby jail

Why are these filthy cages so happy-looking

Awwww Susie joined the party for realizes!

So, this about final boss point for this business?

Why are you guys just sitting on a pile of loot

And just who is this sassy lost child?

BAAHAHAHAAA

HECK YEAH WE GET TO FLIRT AGAIN

I am now BED INSPECTOR yes

Hello again fancy blue boy

“Can…can we see it” / “No.”

This sure is a jammin party with CLUB MUSIC OH HO HO HO

Awww he put his bicycle to bed

‘Welcome to my shop, you ungrateful worms” HELL YEAH

I do not wisheth to hear your MP3s! I would rather listen to the sweet song of Death!

Prepare for a battle with…WHATEVER THIS IS!!!!

JUST FUGGIN CHUCK RALSEI AT SIR LION PLATEFACE, I LIKE IT

Six dollars, for all of that?! Geez

WHELP this looks like final boss time…

Hiiiii there Lancer

Oh dang is gettin serious now

Oh woooow that’s…someone’s fetish right there

HOKAY that was tricky but! Having the defense abilities certainly helped with pacifism through that…

Despite ending this peacefully, I don’t think this scene is gonna end on a happy note…

W H E L P

DAYUM that face from Susie!!

Awwww poor Ralsei

We only have BAD-byes WUAH WUAH WUAAAH

DAWWW lil’ Asriel-lookin dude with glasses (and YES I see that anagram there)

LMAO Susie’s face

EPIC ROCK MUSIIIIIC

Also I’ve really been enjoying the color effects

Awww look at this epic adventure you two had in the closet

So basically we went to Monster Narnia, neat

Awww Susie likes Monster Narnia

Oh no we worried Toriel! THE WORST

LIBRARBY

YOU STUDY THOSE HOT DEMON COMICS FOR COLLEGE, TEMMIE

Hiiii Toby you busy makin’ something!

ALPHYS NO, YOU BETRAY MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE

OFFICE UNDYNE, DOn’T ARREST ME

I like reindeer girl’s rowdy hospitalized dad

PARTY ANIMAL TORIEL CONFIRMED

I like how there’s just a poster on the wall in this room that reads PAIN

The police tape simply reads NGGAAAAAHHHHH!

Good grief there’s SO MUCH STUFF TO EXPLORE HERE BUT I HAVE TO KEEP GOING

Snowdrakes don’t have arms, oh no!!!

“Does it hurt to be made of blood??” ….Yes. Yes it does.

HIIIIIIIII SANS

Woah woah woah WOAH WOAH SANS

Everyone is here! Even Ice Wolf!

Yes I’ll take a Double Ice Pizza you weirdos

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD IT’S BURGERPANTS

10 OUT OF 10 GAME NOW

HIS FACES!!!! “C H I C K S”

That was brilliant, Burgerpants, thank you for existing

Catty!!! Hey where’s Bratty!

Noooo you gotta be besties with Bratty!

Brother Doug…?

Oh no, Mettaton, come out and talk to us!

ASGORE, HELLO

OMG Asgore hugs

Soul flowers….???

Awwww got some flowers for Toriel

THE GAY GUARDS IN THEIR GAY FLANNEL, YAY

It’s so late but I can’t stop until I’ve talked to LITERALLY EVERYONE

Thaaaat’s politics! …Rarely.

Comes to church for the fruit juice, sounds about right

DOG GRAVE, NO

Let’s go into the woods…what could go wrong…

Why can’t I get into the creepy shed…

Well, I think I got everything, so let’s go home now…

ASRIEL MAINS YOSHI IN SMASH CONFIRMED

Awwww Toriel is not big on Asgore’s bouquet!

OKAY decided to go to sleep here.

…Well that didn’t work out great

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT??????????

WHAT????????????

WHAT?????????

HAHA I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE FUK HAPPENED IN ALL OF THIS BUT UH. WHEN’S CHAPTER TWO??

THAT SURE WAS A HELL OF A THING

No really Toby please WHAAAAAAATTT

OKAY I HOPE I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT BYYYYEEEE

[cuthie]

Omru: Talk Talk Talk

Dripping.

  Vul’dun was a hot desert often frequented by raging sandstorms. The heat could be downright oppressive and water a scarce resource. So when Omru came to, the sound of dripping water was almost alien to his large vulpine ears. Slowly he brought his hands to his eyes, wiping the crud sleep had gathered along his lashes.

Drip, drip-drip, drip.

  Om groaned as he sat up, his eyes adjusting to the dim light. Beneath him was a thin blanket atop a smooth stone. The air was relatively warm and along the walls were torches being held by small earthen sconces. He was inside a cave, that much was certain, though not one he was familiar with. In the corner was a very small shallow pool, and what was interesting was that water seemed to drip down only above the puddle and nowhere else. Near the water was an odd red metal object, drilled into the stone itself. The drill had a flickering blue light that seemed to match the rhythm of the dripping droplets.

Blink blink blink, drip drip drip.

  Light flickered at the opposite end of the cave as a hooded figure passed before a torch, revealing an exit Om hadn’t initially seen. A trick of the stone, it only looked to be a solid room, the far cavern wall blending into what looked like a stone hallway. This hooded figure began to sing in the most off key croaking sounds Omru had ever heard.

“Oh wella wella wella woop, tell me mo’, tell me mo’, how much dough did he spend?”

  Omru snarled his muzzle, “If you’re gonna kill me, then kill me quickly. I can’t bare this kinda torture a moment longer.” The hooded figure stepped into the torchlight, revealing himself to be an odd furless bipedal creature.. Like a troll but not quite, Vulperine in size,and ugly as sin.

“Ey, I been nurturin’ yous back ta life with these songs. Fuggin kids today don’t appreciate nothin, I tell ya. Anyways, welcome back to tha land of tha livin’. We diden getta meet proper last time, on account of yous was seducin’ rocks with them pipes. I’m jelly, ta tell ya true. At’s a gift, kid, but damn if I ain’t all befuddled tryin ta figure out what that’s gotta do wit’ shamanism. And I’m sure you gots questions too, so let’s have a nice chat. Whaddaya say? Tha name’s Pazaz. Pazaz Nunya Bidniz, proud member of the Earthen Ring and.. Kindy sorta semi ashamed member of the notorious Horde. Heh.”

  Omru’s big bright orange eyes blinked in mild disbelief. He wasn’t really up and up on his history, but Horde sounded like a familiar word. What really struck his interest was this green ball of hot air’s funky way of talking. Of course, trading tales and exchanging information was a way of life out in the desert, often a profitable one. Still, this guy had saved his life, so Om wasn’t withholding. “Omru. I kind of remember you. I’ll be honest, waking up, I kind of thought I had just dreamt you into creation. Sooo, what happened and where are we?”

“Omru what? No last name?”

“Nah. Having more than one name just sounds complicated. I’ve heard of a few, though.”

  Paz shrugged, “Cool. Okay, so, I came here ta Sargeras’s butthole on a super secret mission. Recruitin good guys to fix the world’s problems. Ain’t secret no mo’s, is it? Aha! Along the way, I saw that a buncha you fox folks was all chained up and/or enslaved. Slavery is uh.. We had it back in Kezan, former island paradise of my peoples the Goblins. I had a few myself, but I done learnt the errors of my ways, yeah? So I went about settin yous all free. Ain’t that sweet’a me? You remember that bit, for sure. I smashed them shackles right offa yous, then ya summoned an elemental to smash them slavers into snake dust. You passed out, ya babysitter picked ya up, and I lead you and about a dozen more Vulpera out ta safety. The Horde’s got the rest of your friends.. Or family or whatever. I kept you, though. Even built up these lil digs. I ain’t the best healer, but it got the job done. Your turn, tell me about the rock monster you employed.”

  Omru’s eyes darted from corner to corner in the room as he absorbed the story. Sargeras? Probably a religious figure. Goblins. That sounded familiar, right? He had heard of them before. Probably. He scratched at the back of his neck, his shoulders feeling stiff as he did. In response, he hopped up off the ‘table’ and stretched out. For a moment he just patted himself down, checking that all of his parts were there, then curled his tail to his arm for inspection. Everything seemed fine. Better than when he was chained up for sure. Hm. “So. You saved me, thanks, I owe you. Rock monster, huh? Yeah, she came in handy. I’ll be honest, not too sure how it all works. Just something I found a few months ago. Not Rocky, but the totem on the rawhide. That was my second time using it, glad it worked. Now, you said you kept me here instead of leaving me with the rest at the Horde camp. Why?”

  Pazaz picked at his nose with his pinky finger, then flicked the booger towards a wall to let it stick. “Found it. That don’t sound right.”

  Omru cringed. Ugh, what a dirty little bastard. He took a second to shake the image from his head, “Well, that’s the truth. I find lots of things. Not all of them summon stone guardians though. That’s why it’s my most prized possession.”

Paz exhaled, “So you don’t know nothin ‘bout shamanism?”

“I know it’s a thing that a couple troll tribes do to talk to ghosts, trees and bugs.”

Paz rolled his eyes, “That ain’t right, ya numb skull. Ghosts? Sure. Trees? Nah-uh. Bugs? No way. The elements kid. We commune with the whole flippin’ world.”  Shaking his head, he pointed towards the red metal machine dug into the stone near the pool, “That’s my water totem. I’m a shammy extree-fuggin-ordinaire. And that’s why you’re with me instead of the goof troop back in the sand bunker. Horde is uh.. Horde is good people sometimes, but bad people to they’s enemies. I diden want’cha involved with them until I talked to yous first. The Earthen Ring, remember I told ya I work for’em? They’re all shaman. They all got different ways of talkin to the elements, maybe even some of them sing, heh. Me, personally? I write contracts, with a small exception for my favorite breath of fresh air. Anyways, yeah, I’m kinda hopin to recruit yous. You got talent, kid. Not just singin, which was great. Like, dream big, you could make it as an entertainer. But communin’ with the earth the way ya did? It was casual, natural even, right? Folks don’t just pick up a totem and use it. Magic don’t work that way, the elements don’t work that way. So the way I sees it? You got shamanism in ya blood. Or mayhap ya just an elemental bard or some shit and you’s singin is all magickal and whatnot. I dunno, but I think with a couple of years learnin from the Earthen Ring, yous could help repair the planet. Maybe. Shamanism is hard as fel. Anyways, Azeroth needs all the repairs she can get. Whether you know this or not, this bitch is about to flip on it’s back and flat out die. Dead. D.E.D. Dead. You unnastand the words what’re comin outta my mouth?”

  Omru folded his arms over his chest as he stared at the metal totem. It was nothing like his own mystical treasure. His was a small wooden vulpine carving attached to rawhide. This thing was ten to twenty times bigger, metal and blinking. Weird. Shamanism wasn’t a foreign concept, he had seen a shaman or two. Some of the Vulpera even. Honestly though? He had no idea where he would even start with such an offer, but, he did owe this guy. “Uh. I’m getting like every other word. Cultural differences and all that. You want me to be a shaman and meet your friends? That’s- Not in the stars, my friend. Sorry, I just don’t see myself putting on religious garb and becoming best friends with the clouds. I can help in other ways, though. I mean, I owe you my life. Oh and where are we? You didn’t say. Not many sources of water out here.”

  Paz grinned, his sharpened goblin teeth akin to a baby shark’s, do doo do doo do doo, “Shame. It ain’t for everyone, and for all I know, yous got lucky with the necklace. Anyways, far as where we is? We’re only a hop skip anna jump from where I snuck into the Slitherfucks nest to save yous. The pool comes from ocean water, my friend. I got it flowin through the ground, donatin it’s salts to the earth. This shit is clean as a night elf’s moonwell. It’s purity yous can taste. I oughtta bottle it up and write that on tha label, yeah?”

Omru’s eyes widened further, “You can do that?”

“Kid, stick with me and you’ll see that ain’t much ole Paz can’t do.”

“Okay, how? I’m listening, I’m curious to learn.”

  Paz interlocked his fingers together, pushing his hands out until the bones made a light popping noise, “Alright, first one’s free, aha.” Grinning, he walked over to a small leather backpack, taking just a minute to open it and rummage about to eventually pull out a glowing golden scroll, “This here is a contract. They ain’t always so pretty, but I like ta get all fancy. You can’t read it, don’t ask, but I’ll give yous tha jist of it. I made peace witta Water Elemental over in Stranglethorn once upon a when. The Elements, you see, can grant folks boons. Make us all magickal an shit. The mo betta ya elemental friend is, the stronger you get an all that. But they always ask for somethin’ in turn. Some folks take it by force. We call them fat heads and punch’em in tha junk. Anyways, sometimes the elementals want somethin specific, sometimes it’s just a code to follow or a pledged oath. This contract was written up, enchanted and I got that there totem to really help me harness her watery goodness. Like, I could mend some minor flesh wounds wit just a little stream nearby or somethin’. But out here in the desert, I needed to pull out the totem to get a good source flowin. It won’t last forever, but trust me, that’s powerful magic to make that lil puddle. Speakin’ of powerful totems, iffens you ain’t intressed’ in shammin it up in the maelstrom, how bouts you offer me that thing around ya neck and we’ll call us square”

  At the mention of his own totem, Omru pinched the wooden figurine between two furry fingers, “Oh. You, uh, don’t have enough of your own?”

  Paz changed to a more sombering expression, “I can’t just eyeball a totem an know it’s history. I dunno where ya found this thing, but if that elemental is bound to it, that ain’t right. What is you doin for her? Nothin cause ya don’t speak tha lingo. She’s a prisoner, bud. Just like you was.”

  Om slipped the little strap of rawhide over his head, momentarily getting it caught on a large fuzzy ear. “I didn’t know that, sorry. Just.. found a magic item and put it on. Can’t blame a guy for his love of loot, right?” Sighing, he handed the necklace over. He hadn’t had the thing for too long, but twice now that elemental had saved his bacon.

  With no flash or incantation, Paz simply twirled the totem between his fingertips, summoning the earth elemental to his side. The rocky creature was large enough to almost fill the entire little nook, ducking it’s head and forcing the fox boy to take a few steps back. “Heya girl. You’re a good egg, okay? Ya diden hafta save this boy, but ya did. Want me to see yins free?”

  Omru watched as the elemental moved about slowly, as if fidgeting. He couldn’t hear a damn thing, but apparently Paz did.

“Is that so? Yo, Omen, did you find this necklace on somebody’s dead corpse?”

Om’s eyes widened, “What, no! And it’s Omru.”

“Chill, I’m just makin sure tha owner ain’t died. This lady right here belongs to someone named Keyi. Ring any bells?”

Om nodded once, “Yeah, I know a Keyi. She’s a bit of an odd bird.”

  “Good, take me to her when you’re back on ya feet, kay? We’ll get these two reunited.” Paz extended four little greeny wigglying fingers towards the Elemental, who in turn extended a few floating pebbles from what might be a limb? Hands were touched, for the briefest moment, before the elemental was taken back to her home plane.

  Omru just watched the whole scenario, fascinated. “Uh.. Yeah, I can think of a few spots she might be. We don’t exactly have permanent addresses, ya know?”

  Paz shoved his hands in his pockets, “Yeah, I heard that about yous all. Kindy like the Tauren that ways. Oh and you’ll get a kick outta this. Ole gal thought you -was- Keyi. Says all you Vulpera look the same to her. Plus she thought ya singin’ was perty. Cute, huh?”

  Omru smiled at that. It wasn’t the first time he had accidentally wooed someone through song, likely wouldn’t be the last. Heh. “Cute.”

--

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

Squares Colored With Crayon

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/I8z4fSo

by SereneParadox

Squares colored in with crayon aren't so much like boxes anymore. (A new boy appears at Shuichi's and Kaito's school nearly halfway into the school year. Along with such an oddity comes a boy they find even more curious, who seems to be growing more and more unusual as the days go by. They get roped into a situation even stranger than all of this combined.)

Words: 2475, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Other

Characters: Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito, Oma Kokichi, Akamatsu Kaede, Original Male Character(s)

Relationships: Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi

Additional Tags: please don't be drawn away by the ocs they're just random people, Threesome - M/M/M, Pre-Relationship, Developing Relationship, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Pre-Game Momota Kaito, Pre-Game Akamatsu Kaede, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Swearing, Bullying, References to Depression, Drama, Kaede's drama to be specific, Tired Saihara Shuichi, POV Saihara Shuichi, Himbo Momota Kaito, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Out of Character Oma Kokichi, because..... it's pregame...., Ouma not Oma, Alternate Universe - Daycare, Slow Burn, how slow is slow burn, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is super super really fuggin sad, non-toxic kagebon. no toxic relationships. not the stereotypical pregame personalities, Fluff, No Smut, gotta clarify this shizz cuz everyone makes pregame Shuichi a freak :(

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/I8z4fSo

[arcanelaurels]

I’ve been super into taakitz college AU, could you write them meeting for the first time, like humping into each other at a party or something like that? ❤️❤️

Anon I’m fucking DYING did you mean to say “humping” or “bumping” bc I’m???? losing my goddamn MIND akdsknksljk 

I love this and now I gotta write both

Kravitz hated parties. He didn’t even know why he kept going to them. Maybe it was the idea of putting off schoolwork for another night. Maybe it was the free alcohol. Or maybe it was the hesitant promise of meeting someone new and exciting, of having a good time.

But that never happened. No, instead it always ended up the same way. Him being too self-conscious to get any further gone than tipsy while everyone around him got plastered. On the dance floor, people clung to each other in the darkness and the heat and the music that was so loud it was practically suffocating. He never asked anyone to dance. Occasionally, girls emboldened by alcohol would approach him, but he simply refused, not bothering to explain that they weren’t exactly his type.

It got to the point - the way it always did - where Kravitz felt like if he spent another second here he would suffocate. He drained the last of his drink and threw the cup aside, preparing himself to make his way across the dance floor since it was the only way to get to the exit.

He started pushing his way through the throng of people, not even bothering to excuse himself because he knew they would forget within seconds. He was nearly out of the sea of people when he felt warm arms wrap around his neck and an even warmer body press up against his side. Flustered and surprised, he looked down and immediately felt a blush rise to his face when he recognized Taako.

Kravitz didn’t know him, per se. They were in the same large lecture class of more than a hundred students, and under normal circumstances someone from that class would’ve been insignificant to him.

Except that Taako had a very…distinctive look. He always arrived to class dressed like he was a grown version of a Disney Channel character, with questionable layers of clothing and odd accessories that somehow worked, probably just because it was him. He tended to sleep through class, only waking up when the professor would notice his snoozing and ask him a question about the material (because she was that kind of professor). Every single time, Taako answered the question perfectly and then almost immediately went back to sleep. Kravitz often wondered why he even bothered to show up at all, and was certain that Taako didn’t even know he existed.

How Taako had been at this party this long without Kravitz’s knowledge was a mystery. But that question was pushed out of his mind because right now Taako was very drunk and…well…grinding against his leg.

Kravitz froze, unsure how to react as Taako swayed and ran his hands over him, occasionally flipping his half-undone braid over his shoulder before pressing closer to him. Panicking, Kravitz took Taako’s hands and pried them off of him, only to have them return as soon as he tried to move away. He needed to get some air now, so he quickly moved away and off the dance floor, vaguely registering that Taako was still clinging to him.

They got to the door and Kravitz turned back to try to unstick Taako from him again, only for him to groan and pout, walking his fingers up Kravitz’s chest.

“Wha’s wrong, handsome?” Taako’s voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the music. “Dunno how to dance?” He leaned in closer, his breath hot in Kravitz’s ear. “Why don’ we go back t’ my place and’ll teach ya?”

Kravitz swallowed dryly, his face burning. “You’re drunk,” He argued back loudly.

Taako’s pout deepened. “And you’re no fun. I’ve-I’ve seen you,” He slurred, swaying and using Kravitz to stay upright. “You’re the guy who stares ‘t me in class. You’re lucky you’re fuckin’…hot.”

Kravitz hadn’t thought his face could heat up anymore than it was, but he was proven wrong. “I don’t-”

“But if you,” Taako interrupted, jabbing a finger to Kravitz’s chest. “Dont’ wanna fuck me,” He pointed to himself. “Then I’ll jus’ find someone else.” He stood up a bit straighter and turned away.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Kravitz grabbed Taako by the wrist. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.” Taako was definitely not in a good state to be making those kinds of decisions. 

Taako willingly let himself be pulled back, overdoing it and pressing himself against Kravitz’s chest. He smirked up at him. “Hmm, change your mind?”

Kravitz looked around, feeling the crowd and the music start to overwhelm him again. “Why don’t we step outside?” He asked and, not waiting for an answer, opened the door and guided Taako out of the house.

It was a cool fall evening and the wind was extremely refreshing after the humidity of the party. Kravitz felt himself start to relax almost immediately while Taako shivered, instinctively pressing against him for warmth only to pull away again.

“Jeez, homie, you’re fuggin’ freezing,” He looked Kravitz up and down. “What are you?”

“Kind of a rude way to ask that,” Kravitz dodged the question as he led Taako to the steps and sat them both down on the edge. He took off his jacket and put it around Taako’s shoulders, who immediately took it and pulled it tighter around him. Kravitz took out his phone and ordered an Uber.

“Thought you were a human,” Taako muttered as he leaned his head on Kravitz’s shoulder. Kravitz didn’t bother pointing out that most humans didn’t have dark red eyes. The breeze picked up and he saw Taako’s free ear twitch a bit in reaction. 

“You sure you don’t wanna fuck?” Taako spoke up again.

Kravitz snorted. “Maybe some other time. As long as you’re sober and still want to.”

“Pfft.” Taako lifted his head, his unfocused eyes somewhat trained to Kravitz’s face. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since the first day of class, my dude,” He said, prompting Kravitz to blush again.

Taako’s eyes suddenly narrowed and he stared at Kravitz more intently. He leaned forward as if intending to kiss him, but Kravitz leaned back, pressing a hand to Taako’s chest to stop him.

“Again,” Kravitz said, trying to stay composed as he pushed Taako into an upright position and sat back up. “You’re drunk.”

Taako scoffed. “Course I decide to go after a gentleman,” He grumbled. “And I thought today couldn’t get any worse.”

“What do you mean?”

Taako eyed him warily. “I don’t owe you my life story, kemosabe.”

Kravitz laughed nervously. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.”

“Ugh,” Taako leaned his head against Kravitz’s shoulder again. “There you go being nice again. Just like my sister’s stupid boyfriend. She’s been in love with the guy for years. Years. Who the fuck waits that long before making a move? It’s like…who are you and what have you done with my sister, yanno?”

Kravitz did not know. He made a noncommittal noise.

“Anyway I’ve never met the guy before and she refused to show me any pictures of him. But they’re dating now and I met him and?” His pitch rose like he was asking a question and he lifted his head again to look at Kravitz. “He’s a fuggin’ nerd. He wears jeans like, every day. Blue jeans. He’s gonna make her like, start caring about school or somethin’. Turn her into a nerd too so she’s not fun anymore. My sister’s dating a nerd, Krav. Can you believe that?”

You know my name? Kravitz wanted to ask, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. Instead, he shrugged. “I’ve never met your sister, but if she’s anything like you, I doubt that’ll happen,” He chuckled. “And besides, as long as he’s a good person and cares about her, does it matter?”

Taako narrowed his eyes at him and was silent for a few moments. “You’re a nerd, too, aren’t you?”

Kravitz laughed nervously. “That’s-”

Taako interrupted him with a groan. “Gods, what is this, karma or something? Of course I’ve got a crush on a nerd, too.”

“I’m not- You have a crush on me?” Kravitz asked, struggling to process what Taako had said.

“I called you hot, didn’t I?” Was his only response, as if that was enough of an explanation.

Kravitz was trying to find something to say when a car pulled up a little ways away and he got his Uber notification. “C’mon,” He grunted as he stood up and pulled Taako up with him. 

They got into the car with some trouble from an off-balance Taako. The driver was a larger man who wasn’t paying much attention to them. “Ready to go?” He asked.

“Um, if it’s not too much trouble, could we make another stop before you take me to my place?” Kravitz asked, untangling Taako’s arms from around him.

“Sure thing, buddy,” The man answered, taking his phone off of its stand and preparing to put in a new address. “Where to?”

“Uh,” Kravitz turned to Taako, who was staring with intent confusion at the seat belt that he was holding in his hand, not having buckled up yet. “Where do you live?”

“Wherever you want me to, sweet cheeks,” Taako responded, doing his best to give Kravitz a sexy glance through half-lidded eyes that just ended up looking comical.

Hearing his voice, the driver turned around. “Taako?”

Taako’s face lit up. “Mags! Fancy meetin’ you here!”

“You two know each other?” Kravitz asked, leaning over to help Taako buckle in.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” The man explained, sounding a bit irritated now. “Don’t worry, I know where he lives. I’m Magnus, by the way.” He shifted gears and started driving. “You one of Taako’s conquests? You’re not taking advantage of my boy, are you?”

Kravitz felt his face heat up again as he finished buckling Taako up, very aware of his hot breath on his neck. He sat back in his seat. “N-No, I’m not. We ran into each other at that party and, well,” He glanced over at Taako before catching Magnus’s eye in the rearview mirror. “I was worried about his safety.”

“Aww, are you sweet on him?” Magnus asked, laughing when Kravitz spluttered. “I’m kidding, thanks for keeping an eye out for him. Taako doesn’t always make the best decisions.”

“I’m right here,” Taako crossed his arms defensively.

“Good thing, too,” Magnus said. “What were you thinking, going to a party alone? Were you trying to get yourself hurt? Or worse?”

Taako scoffed. “I can hold my own. I’ve got magic powers, you know.”

“So do lots of other people,” Magnus argued. “You’re lucky he’s a decent guy,” He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder in Kravitz’s direction. “Or gods know what could’ve happened to you.”

“Whatever,” Taako grumbled, sinking down in his seat and looking out the window. There was a tense silence that Kravitz felt had to do with something other than Taako’s lackluster decisions tonight.

After a while, Magnus sighed. “You know Lup still loves you, right? Just because she’s serious about this boyfriend doesn’t change that. She’s your sister.”

“Duh,” Taako sneered. “Doesn’t mean I have to like him.”

“Look, you guys have been inseparable since birth, I get that,” Magnus continued, unfazed by Taako’s rudeness. “But you had to know that you’d grow apart eventually. She’ll find someone - maybe this guy, maybe not - and you will, too. Probably.”

Taako continued staring out the window, unresponsive.

Kravitz didn’t notice when Magnus glanced at him in the rearview mirror with a glimmer of mischief in his eye. “What about that guy in your Conjuration lecture? The one you said is super hot?”

Taako’s ears perked up and he stiffened, side-eyeing Magnus. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the guy who sits across the aisle from you? The one you said always dresses super nicely and has cheekbones that could cut glass?”

Taako was silent, but Kravitz could see a blush start to form on his cheeks. Kravitz shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling like he knew where this might be going.

Magnus continued. “Yeah, you said you wanted to wind your hands in his hair and push him up against a wall-”

“Magnus.”

“-and let him suck marks into your neck that’d be impossible to hide-”

“Magnus.”

“-and give him what I think you called the ‘blowjob of the century’ and then-”

“MAGNUS!”

“What was his name? Kravitz?”

Taako groaned, his face beet red as he put his head in his hands and refused to look over at Kravitz, who wished he could disappear into his seat.

“Magnus, I’m gonna kill you,” Taako’s voice was muffled by his hands.

“Why?” Magnus asked, poorly feigning innocence. He glanced at Kravitz in the rearview mirror. “What did you say your name was, again?” He asked cheekily.

“I didn’t,” Kravitz muttered, refusing to meet his gaze as his face burned. He knew that Magnus got his name from the app.

“We’re here!” Magnus chirped, pulling into an apartment complex that Kravitz realized was right next to the one he lived in. He punched in the gate code and expertly drove around and stopped in front of what Kravitz assumed was Taako’s building. He turned around in his seat. “You live in the complex next door, right?”

“Yeah, I can- I can walk from here,” Kravitz said, rushing to unbuckle himself and get out. He didn’t really want to spend any amount of time alone with Magnus right now.

He walked around the car and opened the door for Taako, who practically fell out and had to be caught by Kravitz. Taako quickly pulled away, not meeting Kravitz’s eye or thanking him.

“Don’t forget to tip!” Magnus shouted out the open window before driving away.

The two stood in an awkward silence for a few moments.

Taako turned to him. “That guy’s a liar and not my friend.”

“So then you didn’t say any of those things?” Kravitz asked with a humorous glance.

“I-” Taako’s face turned red again. “I might’ve…I might’ve said something…similar.”

Kravitz chuckled and took Taako’s hand, prompting him to finally look up at him.

“Well, I would not be opposed to…going on a date with you,” Kravitz said. “And seeing where the night takes us. Can I see your phone?”

Taako wordlessly pulled his phone out of his back pocket and unlocked it before handing it to Kravitz. 

He put in his number and handed it back. “I hope you’ll text me sometime. When you’re sober, that is,” He smiled. He hesitated for a moment before pulling Taako a bit closer and leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be wanting that jacket back,” He murmured, then pulled away and turned to start walking home, waving over his shoulder.

Taako stood still in shock, watching Kravitz walk away. His hand automatically rose to where Kravitz had kissed his forehead and he felt himself blush like some sort of middle schooler.

Kravitz turned and called out over his shoulder. “Make sure to drink lots of water! You don’t want a hangover!”

“Shut up!” He shouted back, but couldn’t fight off the smile that crept across his face. He stood there, swaying a bit but determined to watch Kravitz until he couldn’t see him anymore. The wind picked up and he pulled Kravitz’s jacket tighter around himself before he turned around to head inside.

It was definitely a better night than either of them had anticipated.

[aurulenthuntsman]

-- aurulentHuntsman [AH] 8egan pestering decastichAmazifier [DA] at 17:38 --

AH: Greetings, Kavi! ~}==>

DA: o hey

AH: How are you faring this fine afternoon? ~}==>

DA: lmao uh like ngl im p much blastd

DA: so i mean its a thong

DA: 8thing

DA: wow

DA: charasistic typos

DA: fuckin noice

AH: Hmm???????? ~}==>

AH: It seems a little early in the day for drinking! ~}==>

DA: hey listen

DA: friend

DA: man

DA: len me ur ear

DA: consider this

DA: concept: its night in at least 5 places rn

AH: A fair point... Time is relative! ~}==>

AH: And perhaps that is a social construct that we put too much weight into ~}==>

AH: But traditionally, early drinking is something of a red flag... ~}==>

AH: I beg your pardon if I'm being presumptuous, but is everything alright? ~}==>

DA: uh lol i mean hello no

DA: well yeh but no

DA: idk its complicated

DA: so

DA: shrugmojis

DA: jus think about me like the fun winemom on Facebook

DA: or like those old sitcoms where its funny

DA: and not a issue like yah kids w/e

DA: u n your bottlerockets and blowin up hotdogs in microwaves

DA: i'll go get my xanex and gin

DA: laughtrack

DA: or Karen

DA: you saucy bagel u

DA: fuckin #relatable #classic #same #mood

AH: I see... So, if it's purely recreational, then the fun would only be doubled with company, correct? ~}==>

DA: oh uh....... yah gimme

DA: 45 mins

AH: Certainly! ~}==>

AURYHN: *exactly 45 minutes later, there's a little CLUNK at his window... followed by another a few seconds later.* ~}==>

KAVI: *Shitpissufck now he's gotta... he's gotta... SHOWER. And clean up. He can't be a mess anymore that's enough of that. He got all gross and pathetic on Nellie and he doesn't think he can take looking like a goddamn fool in front of another one of his friends. He quickly got showered and stumbled about his room. Now he only SLIGHTLY smells like vodka. NICE.*

KAVI: *Jumps at the window clunk.... o fuq. He goes to the window and opens it*

AURYHN: *on the ground, waving up at him with a big stupid grin on his face* ~}==>

KAVI: *WOW that's far.... also he's a smiley guy.... lays right against this window sill... Leans and lays, sliding down to chinhands at him..... casually* hhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeyyyyy *calls while sliding*

AURYHN: ... HELLO, KAVI ~}==>

AURYHN: If you would please stand aside so I can climb in through your window, that would be much appreciated! ~}==>

KAVI: o

KAVI: yah

KAVI: *flumps back.... but at least he didn't see that*

AURYHN: *scurries up the tree like he had the night he slept over until he's swoocing through the window, landing gracefully on the other side.* I've arrived! ~}==>

KAVI: *Stays right here on the floor... WHY? HE DOESN'T KNOW..... but his leg is on the wall*

KAVI: *peace sign* sup

KAVI: hey

KAVI: ur sup

KAVI: is was up

KAVI: for me at least

KAVI: wbu

AURYHN: *stands over him, hands on hips, for a moment... before he drops down next to him with his feet propped against the wall as well.* Oh, you know! Exploring the city and what not ~}==>

KAVI: *Hello mountainous man tiddies, oh, hello the whole Auryhn* o... yeah sounds fun

KAVI: still gogogoin

KAVI: none naps n shit

KAVI: s'not good

AURYHN: *chuckles a little, turning his head towards him* I've managed to find time for sleep in my busy schedule... At your behest ~}==>

KAVI: *grins a lil* hah really? well damn... good yeah

KAVI: that's good, i'm glad you r

AURYHN: It was sound advice! After all... Early to bed, early to rise... Makes a man strong, wealthy and wise ~}==>

AURYHN: *grins cheesily some more, but then looks back up at the ceiling... not without a little side eye, though* I do hope you're exercising similarly healthy habits... ~}==>

KAVI: ............. *Feels the side eyeing and sweats mildly* i mean

KAVI: lol

KAVI: so

KAVI: i can

KAVI: i have some off dayz

KAVI: zzzz

KAVI: ss

AURYHN: Ah ha, so you are having an off day! ~}==>

KAVI: ...... *oh gdi* uhhhh

KAVI: alternattitvely.....

KAVI: what the fuck are on days even???????

AURYHN: Kavi, PLEASE ~}==>

AURYHN: You must know, I don't fuss over others often... ~}==>

AURYHN: I only wish to know if you're alright ~}==>

AURYHN: And if you aren't... then I would like to offer you comfort in whatever way would best help you ~}==>

AURYHN: You're my friend! And a very important one ~}==>

KAVI: *Makes a face... why does everyone have to be so supportive... why can't he just be sad and miserable and he kinda feels like shit for just dancing around it when Auryhn DOES give a shit. Even still it makes him sad to talk about and just the friendfection and the sad feels his face gets a little red.. sighs*

KAVI: *rubs his face up so he doesn't start crying again. So he just.... rubs the tears back in his eyes with his palms. Ace strats* me and.. Den, broke up. guess i'm bein a pissbaby about it idk w/e w/e

AURYHN: *oh... now he feels bad prying so much, but maybe he would have felt bad no matter what kavi said. he only knows this wasn't what he expected to hear, and he gazes at the other boy sympathetically* Oh... I... am sorry to hear that ~}==>

AURYHN: Kavi... It's only natural to feel so hurt over something like that, isn't it? ~}==>

AURYHN: *offers him a hand to hold* I certainly can't blame you ~}==>

KAVI: *Looks at the hand then at Auryhn, his brain still going way faster than his mouth can currently keep up but he looks incredulous? And definitely teary* how can u be so sure? how, how do you know i didn't fuck everything up? i can fuggin blame me easy,

KAVI: gee Kavi, maybe you can't shut the hell up about how goddamn gay you are for p much everyone??

KAVI: or maybe ya try so fuckin hard for the approval of others that you backflip off the fuckin deepend as far as people close to u are concerned

KAVI: oh, oh, here maybe you just plain weren't fuckin good enough to handle anyone on an intimate level because you're too wrapped up in your own shit to connect really?

KAVI: or just that you THINK relationships can fix anything and everything and that's myth goddamn busted because look at you!

KAVI: you can definitely blame me, i can blame me and it's deeper than that and why the fuck does anyone GIVE a shit for a fakeass dumbass when they just DON'T. KNOW. *And he's being hysterical... nice. Good job. Just. Gurgles and puts his hands back over his face, get back in there tears. Maybe it was for the best Auryhn kept seeing him like this. An Ass. His final form* i'm, fuck

KAVI: i'm sorry i, ffffffuugghhhh *gibberish and just rolls over, good bye forever*

AURYHN: *stares at him stunned for a good long moment. he doesn't have that much experience dealing with high emotion coming from other people... but listening to all this, he did understand one thing: how it felt to be critical of yourself, the need to always be impressive, the self preservation... he knew those pressures, even if he always denied them. seeing how they effected someone he cared so deeply

AURYHN: for, it sure put things into perspective for him.* ~}==>

AURYHN: Perhaps I don't know you quite as well as I think I do... As well as I would like to ~}==>

AURYHN: *flexes the hand kavi didn't take, deciding to place it on his shoulder* 8ut I have seen your compassion... When you treat me with kindness, do you mean to say it's out of selfishness? I dou8t that very much ~}==>

AURYHN: If you've made mist8kes, that's all that they are! You are not defined soley 8y your worst moments... Nor are you defined soley 8y your 8est ~}==>

AURYHN: I only mean to say... You should allow yourself this heart8r8k, Kavi ~}==>

KAVI: *While he tries to hide his shame and cry lowkey. super lowkey like... no one would suspect. He listens to Auryhn's words. Quietly sniffing and trying to keep his breathing even. They made sense.... which was good but he also didn't feel like he deserved those kind words. Like he's dropping this plate of Hot Mess(tm) that's his own damn self and no one is backing up with their hands in the air*

KAVI: ....why're u so nice..

AURYHN: *scoffs* You know, not many people would agree that I am... I know that for a F8CT... ~}==>

AURYHN: *sighs* But it is easy to be kind to someone who has been kind to you, I believe ~}==>

KAVI: *that's so.. cheesy but also.. it helps. He loves cheese. Sniffs again and wipes his hands on his shirt, trying to calm down* cheddar... pure... 100% milk gdi, ugh... i'm so gross rn

KAVI: you came here for a good time and now idk ur nice you probably don't feel attacked rn

KAVI: it's like playing the floor is lava and we're laying in this shit right now

KAVI: because we're on the floor

KAVI: no imagination required on that part

AURYHN: *snorts* Then what are we doing on the floor? Allow me to rescue you from a fiery demise! ~}==>

AURYHN: *rolls to sit before scooping up kavi with no real warning* I used to play "the floor is lava" when I was a wriggler ~}==>

AURYHN: And I would pretend to be a wise dragon sentinel in my castle upon a volcanic mountain! ~}==>

AURYHN: Which I later went on to insist upon a hive of my own... Though I could not find a volcano, the snowy Avalon mountains suited me just fine ~}==>

AURYHN: *carries kavi over to his plush pile and sets him down. there. he's safe here.* ~}==>

KAVI: *Oh he got scooped. His face is all red from the crying as he looks up at Auryhn while he talks and walks with him. The story is a cute one, he breathes out a short laugh then looks away. Not now dokis gdi* wow... hah

KAVI: yeah they, they did you good *sniff* that's pretty cute tho

AURYHN: *kneels in front of the pile, grinning at him* A young Auryhn would disagree... It was quite a noble pursuit ~}==>

AURYHN: But present Auryhn has the insight to agree that, yes, it was rather adorable... ~}==>

AURYHN: Also, are you comfortable? ~}==>

KAVI: its cute and noble lol he'd have to deal with it *settles back in all this gd plushness*

KAVI: also

KAVI: hell yes

AURYHN: Excellent! ~}==>

AURYHN: Would you like anything else? A blanket, perhaps? A pair of strong arms to cry into? ~}==>

AURYHN: *FLEXES* ~}==>

KAVI: .....

KAVI: yes

KAVI: *lifts arms*

AURYHN: *here he comes, leaning in for the snuggles. welcome to his STRONG embrace.* ~}==>

KAVI: *This is a nice embrace..... He cuddles into it. Nice.... :'S :') :'S *

AURYHN: *squeezes him close, resting his cheek against his head. the closeness makes his face flare with heat, but... that's hardly appropriate right now! he ignores it as best he can.* There there... ~}==>

KAVI: .....*SNRK*

KAVI: where is my broom?

KAVI: where are my pets

KAVI: i need my awkward distant pets

AURYHN: Your broom???????? I thought you were a wizard, not a witch ~}==>

AURYHN: *LAUGHS. he might not get the Reference, but he thinks he's hilarious...* I can provide you with sincere, close range pets, however ~}==>

AURYHN: *rubs at his back* ~}==>

KAVI: lol i'll take those..... and also i'll show you memes later *snuggles into him*

AURYHN: Memes, hmm? Well, I look forward to it... ~}==>

AURYHN: *rumbles a little in his chest. he tries not to chirr much, but... now seems like a good time to break out the comforting bug sounds.* ~}==>

AURYHN: For now, you relax ~}==>

KAVI: you'll regret it... but we're makin it happen *laughs softly and cuddles up here against these bug noises... he does like him some bug noises...* kk i'll do that

KAVI: you're cozy

KAVI: great cuddlemate

KAVI: a plus plus smiley face

KAVI: and thanks lol

AURYHN: You're welcome, Kavi... You're welcome for my comforting embrace... ~}==>

AURYHN: *gentle snickering, but he's starting to get relaxed enough to nap himself...* ~}==>

[frannykranzygettinhandsy]

So far in 2017 I am still: -poor -not sleeping more than four hours a night -using what little energy I have to appear functioning -unsure of what I want to do in my life only knowing I gotta do something -keeping the Coca Cola company's production of Diet Coke going -searching for perfect skin + the perfect foundation match for me. -kinda struggling to find something that feels meaningful and interesting -uninterested in boys or dating (unless it's Park Jinyoung, he can hit me up) -in love with my friends, and thankful for their presence and support, and that they are all fuggin beautiful Thank u bye

[optimisticvoidwalker]

Bodied Double Part 1 of ???: Timidity

(Based on this reddit prompt. )

They must know I'm a healer, which is why I'm being kept around. The real David constantly argued with the real Mike, who would show off for the real Arzith and the real Celica, who were always unimpressed. I never really got to know the real them for myself as they always bossed me around, treating me like an object.

"Hey, how far to the next town, Ralph?' Mike's pretender asked calmly. Though Mike's personality shift came last, it was the most obvious when he stopped being himself.

"We'll make it before sundown..." I respond, meekly. I was doing my best to act natural, but a touch of fear was mixed into my words.

"Good. We might be able to complete the mission in a timely manner for once." David's pretender remarked in a somewhat sarcastic tone. Celica and Arzith's pretenders seemed to be whispering to each other about something.

"Heh... Yeah..." I looked down, desperately trying to hide my paranoia. They must be waiting until I sleep to kill me..! I shuddered at the thought.

A few hours passed, and we arrived in town. Without hesitation, I immediately booked a room for myself in the inn. After a good 25 minutes, I heard 4 raspy, indistinguishable voices in the room next to me.

"You think he knows?"

"No doubt about it."

"Of course..!"

"Of all the things that healer is, an idiot he is not."

"You think we should try calming his paranoia, though?"

"Suuure, I'm sure the words 'Yes, we're mimics, but we don't want to kill you' will be SO soothing to his ears..!"

"Yeah, face it, 'David', we kinda need to calm him down more subtly. Though it's odd, his aura doesn't seem like a normal human's..."

After that last sentence, my paranoia grew until I passed out from hyperventilation.

I suddenly awoke in what seemed like a dark cavern, chains wrapped around my arms and legs. I saw what looked to be my own self suddenly light a torch and casually walk towards me.

"Well well well, this is who I'm supposed to replace? I can see why they were hesitant to have you replaced. Such a timid healer, shunned by their own allies and helped by beings deemed worse than a monster," It spoke, upbeat, and seemingly carefree. Though its, no, MY eyes were lifeless, even though they were so upbeat, "I wont replace you yet, as they seem to want you to calm down. Ah but this is supposed to scary, huh? Here, maybe this'll scare ya." The other me proceeded to then pull out a knife and jab it into my shoulder.

I frantically woke back up in the middle of the night, drenched in a cold sweat. Looking down, I saw Arzith's pretender curled up into a ball next to me.

"That was... just... a dream..." I barely rasped out, trying to calm down, before putting my face into my hands, about to start crying a bit, "I'm gonna need therapy at this rate..."

Arzith suddenly put an arm over me, mumbling "Noone hurts one of my fuggin' friends..." All things considered, the words were actually kinda soothing, so I laid back down, hoping to fall back asleep.

[After writing this much, I kinda feel like I gotta make a part 2, so to be continued I guess.]