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agust-june · 2 years

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Part-Time Lover Kim Yugyeom

I know I'm late but happy birthday to my manz Yugyeom. Jada and Y/n are both black just so y'all know.

Warnings: ITS FILTH WITH CHEATING

You pull Yugyeom into the bathroom catching him off guard but he pins you to the door as you kiss him. He missed the taste of your lips. It was a hint of mint, sometimes cherry but he loved it. You smelled nice too, your perfume making his senses go crazy. Opening your mouth into the kiss lets Yugyeom have a deeper access to explore your mouth. Yugyeom groans in the kiss as you pull his tongue. Yugyeom's hands pushed your legs upwards to grind his hips against your crotch as you felt how hard he was. In response, you moan moving your hips to grind against his bulge more.

"Fuck Y/n" Yugyeom moans breaking the kiss and moving his hips faster as if he's thrusting into you. You lean against his ear whispering two words and two words alone.

"Fuck me" as Yugyeom wasted no time putting you down sliding his fingers up your skirt to pull your panties down. As you unbuckled his belt and undo his pants. As you push down you notice how hard Yugyeom was. You lick your lips knowing he was hard for you and only you. Before you could even try anything, Yugyeom then locks the door as he picks you up, placing you on the sink.

"Fuck Yugyeom!" You moan feeling Yugyeom pushing all of his dick inside you. Yugyeom moans as he stays right there next to your ear and stays that way. Until you let out a small 'move' and Yugyeom starts moving fast. Your breath felt like it was shortening as Yugyeom's brutal pace made you feel so good. Your moans getting louder by the second.

"Yugyeom! Fuck Yugyeom you make me feel so good!" You try to whisper as Yugyeom just lets out a rasped moan. His hips trying to hit the right spot trying to get you to cum.

"Shit Y/n you're pussy is fucking tight- fucking mine" Yugyeom grips your hips angling his hips deep feeling his balls against you. Your hands grip the sink as you scream in pleasure. Hearing your scream echoing in the bathroom Yugyeom remembers that Jada is here and your rooms, especially the bathrooms, weren't soundproof. Immediately Yugyeom covers your mouth, shushing you.

"Shh baby people will hear us. Do you want that? Do you want people to know we're here?" Yugyeom asks you as you nod in his palm eyes rolling to the back of your head. You didn't care who heard you were on clouds the way this man was fucking you. The way his body felt against yours felt so right and his face the way he looked down on you with admiration as pleasure waved through him affected him as well. The way his sweat poured through his forehead as he tried giving you his all made you feel different. You move Yugyeom's hand off your face bringing him into a long kiss. Yugyeom didn't reject yet he knew in his mind this kiss was different. It was warm and softer than any other kiss. But he liked it as your bodies tangle with one another.

"I'm close" you break the kiss feeling yourself nearing your release. It wasn't until you heard loud knocks that you two had to come to a halt.

"Someone's in here!" Yugyeom yells this time he slows down his pace. But whoever was outside didn't get the point as they kept knocking.

"Hey, who is in here?!" They yell as you try not to make any noise. Yugyeom looks at you. You're clenching on him wanting to cum and he knows that so he takes his fingers and places them into your mouth as he starts picking the pace up.

"Dude! It doesn't fucking matter leave!" Yugyeom yells back.

"Yugyeom? Hey man, it's Mark. Jada is looking for you. I gave her your keys to go to the car, but she won't leave without you. So hurry up!" Mark says as Yugyeom laughs looking at you fall apart as his sharp thrusts have you on the verge of cumming at any moment and so does he.

"Alright, I'm almost done!" Yugyeom yells as he takes his fingers out of your mouth. Letting out a huff as he feels your walls convulsing around his dick.

"Cum for me baby I know you can let it all out for me cum on your cock for me," Yugyeom tells you and you do it. You come apart around him, you sob his name as tears run down your face and not long after Yugyeom cums inside you. His cock twitched inside you as his warm cum fills you up once more. You sake against his arms around you pulling him close.

"Come back to my place later?" You ask him as he nods against your shoulder. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay here and kiss you more. He wanted to help you recover and get cleaned up and take you home.

"Yugyeom...you gotta go," you say, pushing him off as Yugyeom pulls away from you grabbing a tissue and helping you off the sink, your legs feeling like jello. He helps the both of you clean up and you look in the cabinets for air freshener and perfume. After making sure his hair is fine and his clothes together, you send Yugyeom out first. You make sure to spray Yugyeom on his way out though.

Feeling young and free as Yugyeom looks for Jada, after looking for another ten minutes he gives up. Yugyeom goes to the car to see Jada sitting in the passenger seat. As soon as he gets into the car Jada stares at him.

"What?"

"Don't what me. Where were you?"

"In the bathroom" Yugyeom answers

"No shit but for half an hour?"

"I was looking for you and Mark wanted to talk for a couple of minutes."

"So why didn't you answer my calls? Texts"

"Phone was on silent"

"Bullshit!"

"What do you want me to say, Jada?!"

"That you were with HER! That you were hooking up with that slut!" Yugyeom doesn't say a word, she just looks at her. He then fastened his seat belt and started the engine.

"Yugyeom you didn't answer my question"

"You don't want me to answer that," Yugyeom says, pulling off as Jada sees you through the rearview mirror smiling and waving, mocking her and making her shed a tear.

#yugyeom smut #kim yugyeom #yugyeom x reader #got7 #got7 yugyeom #got7 fanfic #Spotify

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joon-xbts · 2 years

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Forgive Me (Kim Yugyeom)

Artist: Kim Yugyeom Genre: Smut

High school… Everyone has their own definition of how their experience was. A word to describe mine so far would have to be “rollercoaster”. It’s great one moment and then the next it’s a total disaster. One minute I’m the happiest I have ever been and the next moment my entire world crashes down right in front of me. Three years just gone as if they had meant nothing and the worst part is that the person who caused it all seems to not even care.

Seulgi: Come on Y/N, it’s been three months. It’s time that you move on

Irene: She’s right, you can’t let this get to you

You: I can’t just let three years with him go

Seulgi: But you also can’t just let it ruin your life either. This is our Senior year, we should be living it up and instead you’re still hung up on a guy who clearly doesn’t want to be with you anymore

Irene: It’s time you get back out there, just enjoy being single for a while and who knows maybe one day a nice guy will come along and sweep you off your feet

You: I don’t know if I can, it’s been three years since I was last single

Seulgi: Which is why you’re gonna need some help from us but you’ll be fine

Irene: That’s why we’re gonna hit the club tonight, try to get you back into the element of being single

I’m not left with much choice to protest against it, their minds are made up. I just sigh and glance around the cafeteria, my eyes instantly catching his staring back at me.

Seulgi: Yah Kim Yugyeom! Look elsewhere you jerk!!

Our eye contact didn’t last much longer after that, I watch as he quickly gathers his things and leaves.

Irene: The nerve of him

I quietly avert my gaze back to the girls and sigh. Maybe I do need this, it’s about time I move on.

-Time Skip-

Seulgi: Oh my god I love your dress!

You: Really? It’s not too short

Seulgi: Girl you’re single, you can wear short things now

Irene: That’s how you get a guy’s attention. They always tend to notice a girl in a tight short dress

You: I’m gonna go get some more to drink, you guys want anything?

Seulgi: I think we’re good for right now

I turn and begin to weave myself through the crowd and towards the bar. Just like the girls said I drew in almost every guy’s attention as I sat at the bar awaiting my drink. A few even offered to pay for my drink and offered to treat me to a good time later. One guy really stood out to me however, he didn’t hit on me like the rest. He was a complete gentleman and just wanted a conversation with me, to which we enjoyed as we drank. It wasn’t until the liquor hit me that I mustered up the courage to ask him for a dance. I smiled to myself as we made our way to the dance floor, swaying our bodies to the music as soon as we found a spot. Everything just seemed to melt away as we danced. Any thought of Yugyeom or feelings I had just seemed to melt away as I danced with this complete stranger. It wasn’t until his arm snaked around my waist that everything flooded back to me and I felt the sudden urge to cry. I couldn’t help but remember how Yugyeom held me close to him whenever we were together and always said that he would do anything to make me happy. Yet here I was drunk and trying to drown myself in the presence of a stranger, hoping that he’ll help me forget but he only helps remind me that Yugyeom is gone.

Man: You want another drink?

You: Yes please

I don’t even notice him leave until I actually process the fact that he is no longer standing in front of me. That’s when I realize that I’m alone…. again. It’s when a presence is felt in front of me again that I look up but instead of being met with the strange man I am met with the same man who I can’t get out of my head.

You: Yugyeom?

Yugyeom: What are you doing here? And dressed like that, are you out of your mind?

I mindlessly watch as he takes off his jacket and attempts to wrap it around my waist before I process everything and shove his hands away.

You: I can dress however I want!

Yugyeom: So you can dress like a whore?!

You: If that’s how I want to dress then I can! We’re not together anymore Yugyeom, I can dress however and do whatever I feel like

Yugyeom: So that’s how you feel

You: Yeah, now if you’ll excuse me I’m waiting for someone

I watch as he shakes his head and slowly disappears into the crowd. As soon as he is out of sight I break down, the tears I had been holding in painted my face as I unraveled. It took a few moments before the man returned with our drinks and by that point I had cleaned myself up a bit and calmed down.

Man: You okay?

You: Yeah, I could just really use a drink

As soon as the drink was placed in my hand it was downed and I found myself heading back to the bar for a few more. Once again as I felt the liquor hit, I was numbed, the man’s touch wasn’t known to me. All I knew was that I was moving my body to the beat. After a while I found myself making my way to the bathroom. It wasn’t long after I had been in there that I heard the door locking and I turn to see Yugyeom standing by the door.

You: What are you doing in here? This is the girls’ bathroom

Yugyeom: Do you have any idea how bad it hurts me to see you dancing with another man? Watching as he touches you like I used to

You: Why would it hurt you? You’re the one who broke up with me remember

Yugyeom: I still love you, I didn’t have much choice

You: What do you mean you didn’t have a choice?

Yugyeom: My dad threatened to kick me out if I didn’t leave you. I made a huge mistake, and it kills me everyday

I had nothing to say. I tried to form any kind of words that might make sense, but nothing came.

Yugyeom: Can you forgive me?

You: I don’t know

Yugyeom: I’ve been a wreck without you

I scoff.

You: That’s a funny joke

Yugyeom: I’m not joking

You: Well, I don’t believe a word that you’re saying right now. Even if it were true, you still chose something else over me. If you truly loved me, you would have chosen me, you knew that you always had a place to stay when you were with me

He stays silent and I chuckle.

You: Exactly

I push my way past him and head for the door, instantly feeling him gripping my arm.

Yugyeom: Please don’t leave, I can’t lose you

You: You already lost me, now if you’ll excuse me I have somebody waiting for me

Yugyeom: You really think that he could replace me? Make you feel as good as I made you feel?

A smirk forms on his lips as his body moves to pin me against the door. His hands can be felt roaming down my body, leaving my skin burning with desire. His touch was toxic and addicting. I yearned for more, yet I still felt angry at him for what he had done. I battled with myself as I tried not to give in to my desires. His lips moved to my neck as he planted kiss after kiss, trailing down to my cleavage and back up. He had a way of driving me crazy with just his touch. As he moved in to press a kiss to my lips I turned away before his hand moved my face back towards his.

Yugyeom: Don’t fight it babe, I know you miss my touch and how good my c*ck can make you feel

I groan and eventually give in, letting his lips ravage my own. The music echoed throughout the bathroom as our bodies molded together, his clothed member pressing firmly against my womanhood. My hands moved to cup his bulge as I palmed him through his tight-fitting pants, listening as he groaned at my touch.

Yugyeom: God, I want you

You: Then take me

His hands instantly hooked my legs as he lifted me off the ground and carried me to the sink, placing me roughly down on the counter as he began undoing his pants. I watched steadily as he moved my underwear to the side and slid his member into my soaked cavern, slightly stretching me as he inched his way in. My hands instantly clutched the side of the counter as I tried to distract myself from the pain. Taking notice of my actions Yugyeom’s lips were pressed to mine as another opportunity to distract me from the pain. He gently began moving, taking his time as he let me adjust before I gave him a signal that I had. His movements sped up as he found a rhythm. Our moans echoed throughout the bathroom briefly before they were muffled by the change in music. His hands gripped the counter as he slammed himself in me over and over again, soon finding my sweet spot that left me arching my back. He took that as his chance to attack my neck, sucking at the bare skin presented before him. I could feel every inch of him, from the rock-hard c*ck that was buried within my cavern to the sweat that dripped down from his soaked hair. This was the feeling I had missed the most, the one time that I could truly feel him and not just in the sexual way. I could feel his heartbeat through his fingertips and could feel him tremble with each breath he took. My body tensed as the knot in my stomach grew, soon reaching its limit as I unraveled under Yugyeom. He kept a consistent pace and soon found himself unraveling, releasing his seed deep inside of me. Everything grew quiet between us as we pulled ourselves together. He gently helped me off the counter and back onto wobbly feet.

Yugyeom: So, do you forgive me now?

#kpop smut #kpop oneshots #kpop #got7 #got7 smut #got7 oneshot #kim yugyeom #yugyeom #got7 yugyeom #yugyeom oneshot #yugyeom smut #kim yugyeom smut

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oraclekleo · 2 years

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Kim Yu Gyeom (GOT7 / Jus2 / Solo) Kinky* Tarot Reading

Disclaimer:

All readings have purely entertainment nature

I don’t know any of the celebrities personally

Don’t base life decisions purely on tarot readings

I can never guarantee any of what’s said in the reading

Before requesting, read the pinned post and appropriate linked post

Tarot readings are my hobby - I’m not obligated to accept any of the requests nor to complete them, it’s my choice, not duty

Waiting time is long, even several months

If you can’t wait, please, seek other tarot reader

Reading Info:

Rating: 18+

Reading Type: Single - Couple

Requested: Yes - No

Requester: /

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky* Reading

Questions:

Position

Libido

Turn On

Kink

Dirtiest Secret*

Celebrity Info:

Full Name: Kim Yu Gyeom

Stage Name: Yugyeom

Group: GOT7 / Jus2 / Solo

DOB: 17.11.1997

Sun Sign: Scorpio

Chinese Sign: Fire Ox

Life Path Number: 9

Masterpost: Got7

Ko-fi - Voluntary Tip for Readings

Happy Birthday to Yugyeom!

Kim Yu Gyeom

Yugyeom (GOT7 / Jus2 / Solo) - Kinky*

Deck: E. A. Poe

Spread: Kinky*

Position - 5 of Cups

Yugyeom isn’t feeling that much passionate at the moment. He’s mourning over some sort of a loss. Maybe he broke up with someone, maybe he cut ties with a friend or maybe he had to let go of a project because of outside forces. He’s not in the mood to commit to a relationship at the moment, his ego is going through a process of healing and he might have withdrawn from the love market for the time being.

Libido - 9 of Swords

Yugyeom isn’t feeling like himself. He might have some doubts or fears regarding his libido and passion. Maybe he got burned in the last relationship he was in, maybe it’s just a period to self-reflect and bring his own shadows to the light. All the insecurities his mind is browsing through are the kind he can overcome if he looks at them in the bright daylight. Even the most mundane things can cast frightening shadows at night but they look completely harmless during the day.

Turn On - 0 The Fool

Yugyeom is likely to feel attracted to someone pure, innocent, naive in some sort of way. Maybe his last lover was a manipulative person and now he’s looking for someone true and honest. He’s not completely ready to find such a person at the moment, he basically treads blindly in the dark hoping to find a treasure. Yugyeom might need some time for himself in order to clarify his own needs and preferences.

Kink - X The Wheel of Fortune, Ace of Pentacles

Yugyeom is a wild card when it comes to kinks. Sometimes he feels especially daring and he’s ready to try virtually anything, sometimes he loses appetite and can live like a monk if he desires so. In general he’s on the sensual side, he likes to touch and be touched but he needs to feel some sort of a deep connection with his lover. He’s protective and even a slightly possessive lover, but in a good way and moderation.

Dirtiest Secret* - 7 of Pentacles

Yugyeom might not like to admit it out loud but his energy is currently scattered and not really used in a positive way. There’s a lot going on in his mind and he might struggle to focus on important tasks. He’s not likely to think romantically at this time.

Happy Birthday to Yugyeom! Always be merry and bright! I hope whatever is weighing you will float away and you will have plenty reasons to smile!

Thank you for reading!

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Comment! 💬

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

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kpop masterlist

🍓 = fluff themes

❄️ = angst themes

🚧 = smut themes

🤸‍♀️ = slice of life / bish idek what theme this is

🚀 = crack fic themes

🎩 = dark and/or violent themes

🏩 = genre fic, i.e. mystery, horror, fantasy, etc

🍳 = slow burn

🦕 = personal favorite

back to main masterlist

A.C.E.

Memory | 🍓❄️🦕 Kim Byeongkwan x Reader + Park Junhee x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

Ateez

Only One | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🦕 CEO!Choi San x Reader

BigBang

It’s An Act [WBU I] | ❄️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

Smoke | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

BTS

Runaway | 🍓❄️🏩 Mafia!Kim Seokjin (Jin) x Reader (Mafia AU) Preview 1 2 3 4 x

Mah Boyfriend | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🦕 Jung Jungkook x Idol!Reader

BTOB

Hidden Heart | 🍓🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🚀🍳 Lee Minhyuk (HUTA) x Idol!Reader [Headcanon]

Day6

A University Dilemma | 🤸‍♀️ Kang Younghyun (Young-K) x Reader (Univeristy AU)

What A Joke | ❄️ Kang Younghyun (Young K) x Reader + Park Jaehyung x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

So... Haha... I Like You | 🍓🦕 Park Jaehyung x Reader (Fake Dating AU)

EXO

Wheel Of Fortune | 🍓🍳🚀 Park Chanyeol x Reader [Headcanon]

Welcome To The Jungle | 🚀🚀🚀🏩 Park Chanyeol & Oh Sehun (Jungle AU)

Maybe We Still Have A Shot [WBU III] | 🍓🍓🏩 CatHybid!Oh Sehun x Reader (University AU)

Unrequited Attraction | 🚧🏩🍳🦕 Mafia!Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Retail Worker!Reader

Color Palette | 🍓 Byun Baekhyun x Reader [Blurb]

Brown Leaves | 🍓 Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader (University AU)

GOT7

One Million In One Day | 🍓🍓❄️❄️🍳 Sugar Daddy!Jackson Wang x Reader Preview ~ Alternate Moodboard ~ Moodboard Teaser 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Car Rides | 🍓 Jackson Wang x Reader [Blurb]

Juice Box | 🍓🚀🏩🦕 Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam x Reader [Blurb] (Pre-Schooler AU)

Somewhere In Between | ❄️❄️Civil Engineer!Park Jinyoung x Reader + Architect!Henry Lau x Reader

Trading Secrets | 🍓🍓 Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

JYJ

Winning Losses | ❄️ Kim Jaejoong x Idol!Reader

Monsta X

Introspect | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Jooheon x Reader [Blurb]

Letting Off Steam | 🤸‍♀️ Lee Hoseok (Wonho) x ArtStudent!Reader (University AU)

NCT

Seventeen

December Dates | 🍓🚀 bf!Seventeen x Reader [Headcanon]

The Stroke Of Midnight | 🍓❄️🏩🦕 Mafia!Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Here's My Problem: I Can't Get You Out Of My Head | ❄️❄️❄️🎩🎩🎩🏩🍳🦕 Detective!Jeon Wonwoo x Actress!Reader

10 Ways To Get Over Gyu | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🍳🦕 Kim Mingyu x Reader + others (Childhood AU)

Half Of My Heart | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳 Kim Mingyu x Reader + Jeon Wonwoo x Reader (CEO AU)

On A Thread | ❄️❄️ CEO!Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) x Nurse!Reader

SF9

A Final Offering | 🍓🍓❄️🏩🦕 Deity!Kim Inseong & Child!Reader + Baek Juho (Zuho) x Mom

What Does It Mean? | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kim Inseong x Reader + Lee Jaeyoon x Reader (University AU)

16th Floor | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kim Seokwoo (Rowoon) x Reader (Office AU)

SHINee

Understand This |❄️ Choi Minho x Reader I Don’t Understand [Understand This II] | ❄️ Choi Minho x Reader

It’s All A Big Joke [WBU II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Th-that’s Not | ❄️❄️🚧🦕 Lee Taemin x Reader Regrets [Th-that’s Not II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Angel Bride | ❄️🚧🏩🦕 Pirate!Lee Taemin x Reader

Noona, You're So Pretty | 🍓 Lee Taemin x Noona!Reader

Stray Kids

Professional Boundaries | 🍓❄️🚧🦕 CEO!Bang Chan x Pre-School Teacher!Reader + CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Pre-School Teacher!Reader 1 2 3 4

Bootylicious | 🍓🚀 Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

Super Junior

The Soup | 🍓🍓🚀🚀 SuJu x SuJu Maknae!Reader [Headcanon]

Secrets Of A Maknae | 🍓🚀🚀 Kim Heechul x SuJuMaknae!Reader

The Boyz

Gentle With Me | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Sangyeon x Reader

TVXQ!

Pitter-Patter | 🍓 Jung Yunho (U-Know) x Reader (Pre-School Teacher AU)

The Art Of Deception | ❄️🎩🏩 Shim Changmin x Reader (Secret Agent/Spy AU)

TXT

Forget About It | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳🦕 Choi Soobin x Reader (University AU)

WINNER

I’m Not Playing | 🍓❄️❄️ Gangster!Song Minho (Mino) x Reader 1 2 3

#masterlist #kpop masterlist

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onewmin · 1 year

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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 5 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader (briefly for now)

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, SMUT!! (minors dni!!!), heavy make out sesh lol, slight nipple play, cockblocking the readers, Chan being depressed/disappointed in himself, profanity, mental issues, angst, clichés (I’m a fan of them), typos, change of povs. Flashbacks, which are closer to the end, are in italics. Another set of Taylor Swift references + some One Direction and Harry Styles ones, even a GOT7 reference… very creative of me lol

Author’s note: another depressive episode for everyone in “the perfume on the shelf”, definitely not something you expected to see when you started reading this work lmao hope you liked it!! Let me know what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 4 | Part 6

Chan could feel the walls shaking from the way you slammed the door. Only after having heard the angry stomps fade away, he laid down on the bed, hands covering his face. That’s for the good, he thought, she’ll be better off without me.

Of course he lied to you. Of-fucking-course!

However, some of his words were true — those ones about ‘the thrill expiration’ especially. It happened to him quite often not to notice the pattern: since the middle school, if a girl reciprocated his feelings, he started growing cold. He tried to make it better later in life, going to therapy to find out the reason of it — but nothing worked. His pride was definitely damaged when another girlfriend of his broke up with him, but it wasn’t for long. The breakup just turned into a great opportunity to make an album, to make his tiny misery bring him any profit possible.

Something similar happened with his last girlfriend. When she was a bit detached, still pining over her ex but already dating Chan, he was infatuated. The second she realized she had feelings for him, Chris got that chills down his spine — the first sign he was falling out of love. No amount of therapy really helped.

Though, he tried. He tried really fucking hard with his last girlfriend: they even went to a couple therapy several times, before she eventually realized he was the problem.

“I can’t fix you”, she said during their last conversation, “and I’m not supposed to. You’ve gotta fix it yourself”.

She was right, Chan knew that. Every time he got out of a relationship, he realized what a mistake it had been to get attached to someone in the first place. But he just couldn’t help it. A pretty girl, with similar hobbies, more intelligent than he’d ever be, but with no feelings towards him? A jackpot. And all her quirks he adored so much turned into annoying habits the moment she uttered “I love you” in response.

He hoped it wouldn’t happen with you. The second he realized he’d been in love that whole time, Chris wished you’d never reciprocate. He could’ve spent his entire life being your best friend, having sex with you and just loving you without having his feelings acknowledged. Yeah, that’s the moment when he resisted therapy. Chan himself stated he couldn’t do anything about it: this unrequited shit just happened.

However, that wasn’t the whole truth. He could do a lot of things about it, but he just wouldn’t. ‘Cause living like that was easier. It was a familiar scenario, a path he’d walked on thousand times. His therapist had tried every thing possible to get Chris to work it out, but Chan and his stubbornness, his unwillingness to fix anything worked harder.

But with you? What could he do with you?

Chan remembered the feeling vividly. When he got the message, when he realized you were going to leave him there was no chill going down his spine, there was no growing coldness, no relief. Only pure fear that you would disappear from his life forever. And losing you without actually loving you… It seemed like a nightmare. What would he do without your dolphin-like laugh? You, the only person, who rolled on the floor after another set of his dad jokes, you, who brought in your own pile of puns just to make him smile.

What would he do if you suddenly disappeared? Not something he could imagine. He got used to calling you at night just to hear your voice, got used to running his hand through your hair whenever you kissed him, to hearing your whimpers when he roamed his hands over your body. He couldn’t imagine his life without you in it.

Although now he would have to adjust to the new realia.

He kicked you out from outer space back to Earth, with no spacesuit on. And Chan could only imagine the way the falling must hurt.

“What you are saying”, his therapist (one of many) once asked, “is that you love the process of ‘chasing’. Correct?”

“Yeah”.

“What else do you like about it?”

“The fact that I can make an album out of it”.

True. He could’ve been hurt by a breakup, but music would always put him back on his feet. Music, that was his solace, his guardian angel, had always made him more and more successful and popular, despite the broken heart and fucked up mental state. A harsh word spat at him, or his unrequited love rejected — everything was turned into a tune, a poem, a song. Every little detail of all his relationships. All but the one with you.

Maybe he’d find inspiration to write weeks later, who knows. However, now was the time to suffer in silence, no poetic lyrics coming into his head. Chris suspected that, perhaps, he wouldn’t be able to create anything at all: he was hurt, hurt so terribly by his own actions that making something decent out of it couldn’t be possible.

“Holy shit”, the thought ran through his head, “even now I’m thinking about music, about making money? What kind of an asshole am I?”

A heartless piece of shit, as you put it. And you were right.

His only chance to redeem himself as a partner, you slipped away as if you had never been there. A vivid dream, full of graphic details of every move of your body, those birthmarks on your thighs, and the feeling of your nails digging into his shoulders. He would savour the moments till he sucked them dry, until nothing but intolerance to the very thought of you would be left.

Because he dropped your reaching hand, brushed off the soothing touch, pushed you away. Chan wouldn’t have ever forgiven someone who treated him this way; whether he was a masochist of a sort, willingly loving people unconditionally, that type of attitude would have been a full stop. Although deep inside his twisted heart he hoped you’d take him back.

Chan dreaded coming back home, lying in bed, falling into the loneliness again. This time he couldn’t reason with himself — there were no excuses to his atrocious actions. It wasn’t the case of the “expired thrill”, as he had lied confidently before, it was the case of him hurting you even more if there was no rejection. What if he lost interest when the two of you would get more serious, married, with kids? What if he lost interest and hurt you more? He couldn’t allow any more pain he could cause you; even him genuinely reciprocating the feelings, loving you in every way possible couldn’t do anything. In his chase for potentially unresponsive partners Chan had become someone else. Someone even he wouldn’t want around.

But the question never left. Didn’t he take it too far? Allowing you to fall in love with him and turning your friendship into this mess? To be honest, the friendship was never one hundred percent genuine: Chris had always held hopes in getting with you, even if he was dating someone at any point of that period.

Perhaps, letting all of this happen was his ‘revenge’ master plan from the beginning. He’d fallen for you quite quickly, never really hiding the fact of it. You were oblivious to his flirtations, too engrossed in the relationship with Yugyeom. Shit, Chris hated that motherfucker. Chan could never really comprehend what was so special about Kim Yugyeom to you. Was it his height? Him being the top class student? His exchange program at Columbia University? Chris even asked you once, but you started talking about some nonsense he didn’t understand at the time. Something about… Yugyeom picking you up in his arms whenever you fell over, Yugyeom being your only solace in the world.

Why was it Yugyeom? Why? Chan couldn’t accept the fact that you held onto your first love so much and so long just because of some stupid cheesy shit. Was Kim Yugyeom there when you drank yourself unconscious because of the breakup with him? Was Yugyeom there when you broke your leg and had to stay home for over a month? Nope, he wasn’t. Chris was. He was there at every high and low, at every little win and major lose — same as you were for him. But you never noticed Chan loving you. You would hug him tightly, peck him on his cheeks, praise his success and cheer him up at his losses, but never, ever loving him back. So maybe, you finally falling in love with him was an act of vengeance for his unrequited love.

But what did he achieve with this master plan of his? You leaving him? A tremendous success, Chris. He would never win this battle: no matter how much he hurt you, your relationship with him would never be mourned by you as much as the one with your ex. Shit, you were still wearing that damn necklace with Yugyeom’s initials! After all these years! Chan had given you a ring as a present, hoping you’d take off the necklace, but you never did. And that was when Chris realized whose name was carved in your heart. Lingered like a fucking tattoo, that first love of yours.

And four years ago, when you were already single, when Yugyeom came to Seoul at one of his rare visits after he stayed in New York… You were out with Chris, a typical Friday night out for the two of you. Food, beer, gossiping, planning to have a movie night at his place. Just two best friends enjoying their time together, when you suddenly asked Chris whether he was okay if you left. And your tipsy explanation, eyes reddening and welling up with tears, because it was Yugyeom, and you had to, just had to see him once again. Chan couldn’t stand to see you crying, so he let you go, gaslighting himself into thinking, “It’s the last time, she’ll forget about him soon”. A lie you would frequently tell everyone, yourself included, was that you got over Yugyeom. ‘Cause you never did. And Chris mercilessly hoped you were as hurt now as he had been before.

If so, why did it cause him so much pain? Why wasn’t he happy and relieved you were finally in his shoes? Why?

“You’re a fucking moron”, Minho’s voice sounded exactly like Chan’s inner one. The man was his inner voice, his conscience indeed.

“Yeah, I know”.

“What did you tell her? The same bullshit you said to me?”

“I’m tired, Minho”.

Lee Know huffed. “Tired of being an ass to people who love you? Can’t believe it”.

“What d’you wanna hear from me? That I’m sorry? That I shouldn’t have done all that? You think, I don’t know that already?”

Minho shook his head, his piercing gaze starring right into Chan’s twisted soul. “I think, you’ll lose everyone if you keep this bullshit on”.

The next day hit Chan heavily, like an avalanche falling and burying him under the snow. He hated the snow, winter and cold; everything related to a slight chill resulted in Chris’ mood dropping to its lowest.

But now it was the middle of July, with warm wind blowing through the trees and sun shining. Chan stood in the hospital park outside the building, starring straight into the sun, with no sunglasses on. No protection to his eyes, maybe he’d go blind — it was the least of the punishments he could’ve gotten for what he did to you. He despised the tiniest image of himself.

The eyes eventually became teary, making Chan squeeze them and cover his face with the palm of his hand. How would blindness help to redeem yourself, dumbass?

Chris sat down on the bench, his thumb scrolling down your texts. You tended to be pretty active on social media, always posting stories and tweeting, but it was radio silence for a week. Firstly, you were probably too stressed to post, only having your cat show up on your stories occasionally; secondly, you were too busy with your job — as you always had been, Chan knew that too well — and worrying about him. Thirdly, you always disappeared from the ‘public’ eye whenever your life turned into shit. And this time it was truly fucked up.

Chris had typed dozens of messages everywhere his hand could reach you. He typed, erased, typed again, went back to his notes, hesitated to send and erased. It was a vicious cycle he repeated over hours. And not once during this time had you sent him a word. Perhaps, he had found the answer to the question he kept on asking himself, “Who’s gonna be the first to say goodbye?”

You tried to, but it was Chan who pushed you away. He could only sit there and overthink every little detail, absorbing in the memory of you, still hoping — maybe, you’d take him back, maybe it was going to be over in mere time.

“Maybe if I write her a song, a thousand songs, maybe she’ll come back?” Yeah? And what happened to actually apologizing? To saying sorry using your fucking mouth while being face-to-face?

Chan didn’t know how to properly apologize. What could he have said for you to actually forgive him? It seemed that no word or action would ever bring you peace and make you forget his harsh monologue.

Chris got back to the hospital room, his mom collecting his things. They didn’t talk much; his parents were still outraged with him — no wonder, you fucker — however, they stayed with him, silently waiting for him to defrost like a fucking Anna at the end of “Frozen”.

His dad was there too, helping him, letting Chris lean on him while walking. Chan was finally going home, and there were only his parents to take him there. Minho left as well; Chan knew it was his fault again that his best friend lost every bit of hope and trust in him. Lee Know wasn’t the one to sulk over every little thing; but if he happened to be fed up with shit, he wouldn’t stay. He’d disappear for some time to clear his mind. “And maybe to realize what a shitty friend I’d been”, Chris thought, entering the apartment.

His parents didn’t ask either about Minho or you; Lee Know had probably told them everything already. Whatever, Chris lied in his back on the floor in the living room, he’ll thaw out eventually. Han used to say they were like an old married couple, a young, successful singer and his choreographer, the closest friends you’d see in the industry. Since the moment they met four years ago, there wasn’t a moment they didn’t share, always being together. Now Chan felt as if that time was over. He knew how deeply he hurt Minho, spitting poisonous words at him too. He hurt the two people love the most besides his parents.

“Channie, I’ve made dinner. Eat with us, please”. His mom sat down on the floor beside him, cautiously observing her son. She ran her hands through his hair, the thing he loved when he was a kid. She noticed him growing up, but never expected to find her son so lost and broken. And it ripped her heart apart to know they couldn’t help him unless he made the first step towards everyone and everything.

“I’m not hungry”, he mumbled, eyes closed. “You and dad, you two should eat. I’ll do it later. Maybe”.

She singed and stroked his cheek, getting up from the floor. She was his mother, but he was a full grown adult. She couldn’t fix his problems and save him as she used to do when he fell down when he was a kid. He had to get up himself now.

Though, was he capable of it?

Chan didn’t know how much time passed. He might have dozed off to be awoken by his dad, who gently asked him to move to the bed. Obliging and getting up, Chris noticed it had gotten dark outside; that whole day was a blur.

Lying down on the bed, he checked his phone. Still nothing from you. Radio silence from Minho. Only Han texting him non-stop, some of his friends in the industry checking up on him in the DMs. Putting Jisung aside, the rest of the people were strangers. Those, who Chan wanted to hear from, got evicted from the big apartment of his heart by the vicious landlord. The latter, obviously, was Chris himself.

He dozed off again. Everything seemed just so… Pointless. Pointless to beg for forgiveness, pointless to try and fix something. This time, he massively fucked up. And Chan had no idea if there was a way out of it.

Every day turned into a blur. He’d wake up, lay there for half an hour, thinking of you, envisioning you while jerking off, imagining it was your hand, your hot breath on his neck, your kisses on his jaw. He’d be ashamed of himself, turning another memory of you into dirty thoughts; he missed every little thing about you. After showering he’d have breakfast, his parents long gone to work, but a small note from each of them on the fridge door. They got back to their house after a few days and a doctor’s visit, as he told that Chan’s recovery was quite successful. He didn’t really need much help anymore; the pain had faded — but only the physical one. Three weeks had passed since he last saw you and Minho.

And since then, every day turned into Groundhog Day. Same routine, eating what his parents cooked, talking to them over the phone or spending time at their house, just to fill in the hole inside. Han would come and see him almost every day, bringing those stupid board games he was obsessed with. Chan was grateful to have at least one true friend left.

Jisung didn’t ask any questions and insinuate any conversations. Only occasionally Chan would catch him texting someone — he saw Minho’s name on screen — and he had to physically restrain himself from dropping to his knees and beg Han to arrange a meeting with Lee Know. If he only got through this shit with his best friend, he’d get you back too. However, Chris never asked.

He only leaned towards sleeping, napping his problems away. Drowning in the memories and dreams of you, Chan found himself losing those thin threads connecting him to reality. He’d fall asleep, confident you were there, only to wake up to an empty bed.

Today he dozed off early again. When he woke up, Chan blinked slowly before staring into the ceiling again. The room was dark, as the flat itself. Han had probably left already, perhaps, another board game not to discreetly put on the shelf. Yeah, he did. It was 1:31 A.M. It was too late for someone like Jisung to go home past midnight.

Chris looked to his right, to the empty space where you used to lay. He swore to himself at that exact moment that he’d stay in this place, in this bed forever if you magically appeared there the next second. He would stay anywhere, freeze in his movement, turn into an icy sculpture that could melt under the sun — anything. He would do anything to have you here, with him, at that moment and for eternity.

Chan could almost feel the smell of the shampoo in your hair, while you were lying there, back pressed against his chest. His arm you used as a pillow would always go numb, but he’d keep it there, right under your head — just to absorb in you as much as possible. He wished he could have traced his fingers along your arm, feeling the shivers appear, and leaving small kisses on your shoulder. Never in a million years he ever felt this much ache inside his chest.

Images of you started floating in his head — not that they ever left — your face, your hands massaging his back, your laugh. He could still drown in the aroma of that perfume you used, the one that you were keeping on the bookshelf in your bedroom. You couldn’t bare using any fragrance as the smells made you sick (no matter how good they were, you just weren’t built for this kind of thing), but Chan remembered one specific moment. That moment now resulted in this perfume being the smell he couldn’t live without.

“Either take it off, or I’ll gladly do it for you”.

You stood in front of the mirror in Chan’s room, a new bathing suit on. You tried it on multiple times: at the outlet, at home after washing it and now here, in his room. You wanted to hear the honest opinion of his, but Chris only tended to spill out vulgar remarks concerning your appearance. Not that you hated it.

“Ugh, shut up”, you groaned, turning to look at your back in the mirror. A two-piece bikini really accentuated your ass and hip dips. That was good, but… You had never worn a two-piece bikini after you turned nineteen. You gained some weight and had the same body shape for years; despite never being shamed for your body, you felt insecure, even after losing some of the weight due to exercising with Chan. He basically made you suffer at the gym — all because you once said you needed a personal trainer to actually start working out. He took in that position immediately. Even though the trainings with him were truly resulting in your body transforming, lately it all turned into overly sexual workouts. He would be behind you, too close for a trainer, hands on your hips, his bulge dangerously close to your entrance. Every freaking time you two would end up having a quickie in his car after. Every time.

You sighed, turning to face yourself in the mirror again. You didn’t have abs, but your squishy belly was almost gone, now replaced with muscles and something close to mid-flatness (Chris said there was no such thing, but you disagreed). You always felt like people were judging you while wearing a bathing suit; and now, in a freaking bikini, would they judge you even more?

“What’s wrong?” Chris was behind you in no time, arms wrapped around your waist and his head on your shoulder. He looked at you through the reflection in the mirror, picking on your slightly confused face.

“I dunno if”, you stuttered, your palms landing on his hands, “if I look okay in the bikini”.

“Okay?” The tone of his voice, the guttural sound he let out made you chuckle. “Are you kiddin’ me? You look fantastic”, he whispered, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

And when you wanted to say something else, to somehow doubt his words again, Chris slightly moved, his half-hard dick pressing into your ass. You arched your back almost automatically, scarcely catching the moan from escaping you mouth.

A pleased hum in response from him. You felt his hot breath on your neck, lips leaving burning kissed on your neck. “Shit, baby”, his eager hands roaming around your body, “you smell so fucking good. Did you put it on just for me?”

A choked answer, something incoherent left your mouth. When Chan’s hand untied the straps of your swimsuit bottom, you could swear you would turn into ashes right then and there.

“I’m gonna go crazy”, he growled into your neck, hands firmly holding you waist, keeping you in your place. “I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t fuck you right now”.

You gulped, head still spinning slowly. You were always too easy to break into pieces with his touch only, it was a fact. Although today you wanted to last longer. You wanted to win that round.

Turning around, you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers in his hair. “You’re only interested in me when you wanna fuck, Christopher?”

Chan remembered being taken aback by your words, the boldness in your voice he had never heard before. He liked that; he liked that you could be bold when he didn’t expect you to. But that question… How could you even think that?

“I’m interested in you when I wanna fuck, that’s true”, he answered, lips brushing over your nose, “but I only wanna fuck you, ever”.

“That’s a terrible answer”, you relied, chuckling under your breath. “Still sounds like I’m just a fuck toy to you”.

Chan buried his head in the crook of your neck, sighing deeply. He whined your name into your skin, the sensation of his lips on your most sensitive part making you rub your thighs slightly. Almost automatically begging for friction.

“You’re not a fuck toy”, Chan went on, trailing kisses along your neck, “you’re much more than that”. You mewled in response, resulting in Chris grabbing a handful of your ass. “So much more, baby”.

Goddamn it. That was true; you were much more than a fuck buddy, a friend with benefits — you were his entire world wrapped in a lovely jewel, whose shine reflected on him. But only slightly. The rays of your solar system reached his black hole in small doses only — enough to cling onto them for his existence’s sake, but not enough to make you his and his Sun only. Your solar system, no matter how much time passed, was shining just for Yugyeom, waiting for him to take the sunlight in, to be absorbed in the sun beams.

How Chris wished he had met you earlier. Before Yugyeom, maybe when you were kids, so that you and him would’ve been ‘childhood friends to lovers’.

Chan envied Yugyeom. The blackest waves of purest hatred towards the man you’d been in love with rose inside Chris. Probably that was the thing that couldn’t let Chan believe you loved him back just as much — his inner voice, that overthinking anxious coward insinuating you would come back to Yugyeom in a heartbeat. The reality of the things didn’t really matter — only Chan projecting his insecurities onto you did.

He rubbed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh. Chris was running on empty with that constant overthinking. He’d rather be back there, in this same bedroom several months ago, when none of it went down the drain yet.

When you were underneath his body in mere seconds, every word of yours swallowed by his hungry kisses. The bikini top was still on; however, Chan got rid of his clothes, wearing his boxers only. He just liked the view, the yellow piece of clothing barely covering those parts of the body he’d be the only one to see.

Your whole body ached because Chris only kissed you. His hands were squeezing your waist, but never reached the places where you craved them to be. Not that Chan didn’t want to, quite the opposite — the way you arched your back every time his boner brushed over your bare core, the way you whimpered, trying to get him touch you. But he just couldn’t miss the opportunity to tease you.

“Ch-Chris”, you inhaled sharply, legs wrapping around his waist, “please”.

He smirked, lips crushing onto yours in another passionate kiss, and his hand finally moving up your body.

“Why did you buy it?” He breathed out, fingers lingering over your already hardened nipple. “It’s so fucking revealing. Do you want”, he moved the fabric to expose your boobs, “everyone to see this?”

His mouth landed onto your nipple in an instant, licking, sucking, biting — all in a spin of a moment, not letting you adjust to one sensation only. You made a strangled noise, eyes closed to give in the feeling of him only. Chan’s left hand was massaging your other breast, not leaving any part of your body unattended.

The sight of you, so lost in pleasure of him sucking on your nipples only… He could come from this, from having you fall apart under the slightest of his touch.

The memories were so real, that vision of you being right here and now was so true, Chris caught himself palming his growing bulge through the fabric of his pajama pants. Shit. If you were here, if he could only tell you how much he loved you, how much he cherished you loving him back, if he could reassure you it was different now, that he never really meant what he told you weeks ago… If only.

A sudden sound of the doorbell interrupted his reminiscence of the past, making Chris jump up in the bed. He was panting, his heart was racing — he wasn’t expecting guests at such an hour.

Moving extra cautiously, Chan approached the door. At first, he didn’t doubt the sight he witnessed through the peephole was another hallucination his touch-starved mind showed him. Upon the second look… It was not a mirage.

He opened the door in an instant, struggling not to pull you in and capture you in his embrace, so that you’d never leave him again. But he just stood there, staring, gawking at you, the gaze of yours never leaving his eyes.

“Hi”.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf

#bang chan #bang chan imagine #bang chan x female reader #bangchan #bangchan imagine #bangchan imagines #stray kids imagines

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catboy-jaebeom · 10 months

Text

this shapeshifting vessel is a lie

it's been a year already since my last pinned, and I got shadowbanned exactly around that time back then because of course I did, so here's a new one 🩷

I'm Autumn, but you can call me Faon as well. my pronouns are they/ them. ticked all the boxes on the queer registration form, and I'm currently in a queerplatonic poly relationship. I was born in '95. central european & white. future linguistics student. proud plant parent. kpop fan. I really adore vampires and I write original and fan fiction, as well as poetry. I speak english and german, and I'm studying french, japanese, korean and finnish. lover of bats, snakes, horsies, deer and cats, as well as sharks. I sometimes make cat ear edits and vampire edits of idols and actors ( see: my icon ) so if you want me to make one for you, you can DM me.

my interests and hyperfixations change over time — yes, it was a phase, mum! name a constant state of being, mum! — and I change my username every two years, round about. currently I'm really into the quantum leap spin-off, live action one piece show, and I'm watching a couple of kdramas and such at the side. I play baldur's gate 3, vampyr and control, but also 2064: read only memories.

I was very active in the shadowhunters and the dragon age as well as the james bond / 00q fandoms, and I will reblog every single gif of spirit - stallion of the cimarron, it's my childhood movie. also, Jin Oshiro from STRAY (2019) deserved better, thank you. you may know me as leafmiilk, taehdenveri, fliederfuchs or thetevinterelf.

this blog of mine was created in 2012, I was on here already when you could still count on the superwholock people to throw gifs at posts although I was never one of them, which, trust me, was a hilarious feeling in hindsight asjfjahajft. I have one sideblog worthy of note @splittergheist which is my writing blog, and I have a secret sideblog for my omegaverse / miscecanis stuff ( much more the lifestyle, world building and concept than the smut and stuff, I'll be honest, but no hate at all!! ) that I might give out if someone asks nicely and privately.

that said, I tag my posts extensively, and if you ask politely, I will try and tag specific things for you too! please be nice in my inbox or I'll simply delete your ask and block you. 🦈 oftentimes I will message you privately when you've sent me an ask that doesn't seem to be an ask game or such! and while I do post stuff for tag games I'm not a fan of tagging others unless we're, like, really close, sorry ><

relevant kpop stuff can be found under the tag. I also put some "reviews" written by mutuals about my blog there, thank you everyone, you're lovely 💚🌼

and thank you everyone else for reading this, may your days be bright I think we all could need that at the moment. I would super love new people to talk to ( please have your age / some approximate of it in your bio; I'm totally fine with talking to minors but I would like to know I am before I do, thank u ) so message me or reply to this!

kpop stuff

ult group: GOT7

other groups I like: NCT 127, WayV, Red Velvet, ITZY, Seventeen, SHINee, ONEUS; ...

soloists I like: XIA / Kim Junsu, Taemin

biases: Lim Jaebeom & Choi Youngjae; Nakamoto Yuta; Xiaojun; Kang Seulgi; Hwang Yeji; Joshua Hong & Lee Seokmin; Choi Minho & Taemin; Kim Leedo & Lee Seoho; Park Seonghwa & Jeong Yunho; Kanemoto Yoshi; ...

wreckers: Mark Tuan & Kim Yugyeom; Ten Lee; Kim Mingyu & Lee Woozi; Kang Yeosang & Song Mingi; ...

for as long as xitter still lives, you can find my kpop account under: jaebueomgi

blog reviews

@meant-to-be-a-hero wrote on 22nd November:

Shall I compare Autumn's blog to a summer's day? I shall not, because I am not a hack. Equal parts language jokes, kpop boys (and girls, but I don't look at those) and #bitter millennial blogging, there's something for everyone here at Autumn's blog. They are also one of the few people who still write funky things in the tags, a true dying breed on Tumblr. I feel like I'm reviewing a restaurant or something. Either way, click follow, thank me later, because you will. It's a good blog, Bront.

— ★★★★★(★★) [ 7 out of 5 ]

@klutenpetter wrote on 22nd November:

It seems I have misplaced the URL of the blog in question that I was supposed to review.

— ★★★★★ [ 5 out of 5 ]

#itzy #got7 #nct 127 #red velvet #xia #vampires #langblr #quantum leap 2022 #baldur's gate 3 #wayv #shinee #cbjb does stuff #stray 2019

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vex91 · 3 months

Text

GOT7 Masterlist

(f) - fluff, (a) - angst, (af) - angst + fluff, (s) - smut

Mark Tuan:

Nothing yet...

Lim Jaebeom:

Nothing yet...

Wang Jiaer:

Nothing yet...

Park Jinyoung:

Nothing yet...

Choi Youngjae:

Nothing yet...

Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam:

Nothing yet...

Kim Yugyeom:

Nothing yet...

OT7:

Nothing yet...

#got7 x reader #mark tuan x reader #lim jaebeom x reader #wang jiaer x reader #park jinyoung x reader #choi youngjae x reader #kunpimook bhuwakul bambam x reader #kim yugyeom x reader

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sweetestofchaos · 2 years

Text

To-Do List

Uᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ 09/09/2024

You make fun of Minho’s (shinee) grandpa laugh (one-shot)

MET Gala!Jackson likes his interviewer (one-shot)

Hyunjin smut with a thick s/o (one-shot)

Safe Place ft. Bang Chan - After a hard few weeks, Chan just wants to breath a little easier and he can only do that with you.

Have Mercy ft. Jimin/Yoongi - Jimin falls in love with the very soul he is supposed to devour. When he gathers the courage to confess it seems that someone far more evil finds her alone. (1/3)

Run From Me ft. Taehyung - Taehyung and you have history together, a very, very long and twisted history. (5/??)

Take on the World ft. BTS - When Seokjin imprint on a child, the Min pack has to prepare for parenthood (14/??)

Blackthorn ft. Yoongi - The love story of Emperor Yoongi and Empress Keena has been passed down from generation to generation; a love story so strong that it had surpassed the passage of time. (16/??)

Cafuné ft. Namjoon and Yoongi - As Namjoon’s personal assistant, Y/N doesn’t have time for love…or does she? (7/??)

Got7 Pregnant Social Experiment

Knock, Knock ft. Jaebeom/Yoongi: Jaebeom is finally woken up by his soulmate after how much time? (2/??)

Prompt Me Hoe - A bunch of AU’s featuring different idols

Butterflies ft. Seokjin - Y/N is an American song writer that befriends Kim Seokjin

Era of Love Series ft. Got7 - Nothing like that good ol’ college au

Lactation Kink: Poly!BTS - (2/3)

Chain Reaction ft. Bambam (5/6)

Chain Reaction ft. Kim Yugyeom (5/6)

The Jayde Heiress ft. BTS - Back against the wall, Arissa must learn to live in Bangtan’s world if she wants to survive. (to be rewritten)

You cry because you can’t fit their clothing - Got7, BTS, Monsta X

They meet you, their celebrity crush - Got7, Monsta X, Stray Kids, BTS

You crying in the shower - Monsta X, Shinee

They get to do a stage with their crush - Stray Kids, BTS, Shinee

You run into your ex and they see you have a child - Got7, Monsta X

When your top falls off in the pool - BTS, Shinee, Monsta X

You wear braids to a fan sign - Got7, BTS, Stray Kids, Monsta X

You’re pmsing - Ateez

You hit on your boyfriend while drunk - BTS, Stray Kids, Monsta X

Barber Shop ft. Kim Namjoon - Alysia just wanted to get her son’s hair fixed, she wasn’t expecting to fall for his new barber, Alpha Kim Namjoon.

Wherever You Are ft. BTS - This is what happens when you catch their eye while enjoying the nightlife.

Dragon’s Heart - Prince Jaebeom is the last descendent of the mighty dragons that left the Earth long ago. When a sudden attack leaves him wounded, Y/N saves his life. (Fantasy Au, Strangers to lovers)

Capture the Heart ft. Kim Seokjin - When Seokjin’s playboy ways come to bite him in the ass, Jaya is there to save him…based off this gif set (Strangers to Friends to Lovers / College AU)

The Captain’s Vow ft. Kim Seokjin - When tragedy strikes due to the betrayal of the Royals, Capitan Seokjin switches sides to avenge those he has lost. (Pirate AU)

A Replacement For His Love ft. 2seok

a/b/o au, historical au, forced caretaking au

(Don’t) Hold Me Tight ft. TaeJoon

a/b/o au, forced caretaking au

Anything You Want ft. BTS/Got7

sugar daddy au, gang au, ceo au

Skylight ft. ??

neighbor au, hurt comfort

Trust Me ft. Mark Tuan and Song Mingi

demon au, gang au, dead dove

My All ft. Youngjae

fake dating au, pregnancy au

The Dragon’s Apprentice ft. BTS’ Rapline

dragon au, fantasy au, mxm

Not A Dream ft. Jungkook

ex to lovers au, gang au

Hey, My Baby ft. Jimin

strangers to lovers au, vampire au, sugar momma au

Something Like Fate ft. ??

strangers to lovers, soulmates au if you squint

Untitled ft. Got7/BTS

dragon au, sugar daddy au

You See Me? (I see You) ft. Hoseok

military au, brother’s friend au

Smile For Me ft. Jimin

actor au, stalker au

Handsome Devil ft. Shownu

demon au, unrequited love, fake dating au

Recipe For Love ft. ??

strangers to lovers

Looking For You ft. BTS

soulmates au, dream walking au

Michael & Jackson, After the Singer? ft. Jackson Wang

strangers to lovers, idol au, fake twin au

All of You ft. Bambam

yandere au, non-idol au

Pass You By ft. Minhyuk

ex’s to lovers au

Leave Me Alone ft. Changkyun

gang au

Enough ft. Vernon

friends to lovers au

Remembering You ft. Yoongi

married au

Consequence ft. Jungkook

vampire au

Untitled ft Jimin

werewolf au, a/b/o, friends to lovers au

Say Ahhh ft. Many Idols

personal chef au

Fairy Floss and Cottontails ft. Yoonkook

hybrid au, Easter au

Motion of the Ocean ft. Jackson Wang

mermaid au, fantasy au

The Story of You ft. Kim Namjoon

soulmate au

Q&A ft. Jaebeom

teacher au (sequel to Not So New Professor)

Welcome Home ft. Seonghwa

friends to lovers au, idol au

All About You ft. San

friends to lovers, gang au

Hear Me ft. ??

band au

Hello, Again ft. Monsta X

strangers to lovers, Idol au

Lost and Found ft. Monsta X

gang au

Lost My Halo ft. Gang7

high school/college au

Fall Apart ft. Mark

gang au

Sweet Pea ft. Yugyeom

gang au

Lie To Me ft. Jackson

gang au

Sub-Rosa ft Jaebeom

gang au

Isn’t Something Missing? ft. Youngjae

gang au

Count For Me ft. Jinyoung

gang au

Two Piece ft. Bambam

gang au

#soc to do list

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dirtykpopsnaps · 6 months

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clariannahoney · 11 days

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Kpop Daddy's Squirting Obsession

The stage lights dimmed as the last strains of GOT7's latest hit faded into the air. Yugyeom, the group's charismatic main dancer, stood center stage, his chest heaving from the adrenaline of the performance. His eyes scanned the crowd, a sea of glowing lightsticks and adoring faces, but one stood out—a young woman, her eyes wide with awe and desire.

Yugyeom's lips curved into a smirk as he watched her. Her adoration was palpable, a tangible force that drew him like a moth to flame. He knew he shouldn't, but the thrill of her obsession was too enticing to resist. Tonight, he would claim her.

After the final bow, Yugyeom made his way backstage, his mind already plotting. He changed quickly, dismissing his manager’s queries with a casual wave. "Just need some fresh air," he lied, slipping out the back door unnoticed.

He found her waiting by the alley, her gaze anxious yet hopeful. Yugyeom approached slowly, his presence commanding even in the shadows. "You waited," he stated, more than asked.

Her breath caught, and she nodded, her voice barely a whisper. "I... I had to see you."

His hand reached out, fingertips brushing against her cheek. "Why?"

"Because... because I can't stop thinking about you," she confessed, her eyes pleading.

Yugyeom leaned closer, his voice dropping to a sultry murmur. "Then let me show you what happens when you become mine."

Without waiting for a response, he took her hand and led her to his car. The drive to his penthouse was silent, charged with anticipation. As they stepped off the elevator, Yugyeom pressed her against the wall, his lips finding hers in a fierce kiss.

"You belong to me now," he declared, watching as her eyes fluttered closed, accepting his claim.

Inside his lavish apartment, he directed her to the bedroom, his gaze never leaving her as he locked the door. "Strip," he commanded, his tone brooking no argument.

She hesitated, then began unbuttoning her blouse, her hands trembling slightly. Yugyeom watched, his arousal growing as each inch of skin was revealed. When she stood before him in only her underwear, he stepped forward, his fingers trailing down her shoulders to her waist.

"Beautiful," he murmured, his hands sliding around to cup her ass, pulling her flush against him. "Now, kneel."

She did as told, her eyes meeting his as she sank to the floor. Yugyeom unzipped his pants, releasing himself, his cock hard and ready. "Suck," he ordered, his voice thick with desire.

Her lips parted, and she wrapped her hand around his shaft, guiding him into her mouth. Yugyeom groaned, his hands gripping her hair as she began to move, her tongue swirling around him.

"Faster," he demanded, thrusting gently into her mouth, relishing the feel of her submission. Her cheeks hollowed as she obeyed, her throat working around his length.

Yugyeom's control was slipping; the sight of her on her knees, worshipping him, was too much. "Enough," he gasped, pulling her up and tossing her onto the bed.

He followed, crawling over her, his eyes dark with lust. "Tell me you want this," he growled, his fingers teasing her nipples through her bra.

"Yes, Daddy," she whimpered, her legs parting instinctively.

"Good girl," he praised, removing her bra with one swift movement. His mouth captured a nipple, suckling hard as his hand slid down to her panties.

"So wet for me," he murmured against her skin, his fingers dipping beneath the fabric to stroke her clit. She arched into his touch, her moans filling the room.

Yugyeom pulled away, his eyes scanning her body hungrily. "Take off your panties," he instructed, watching as she obeyed, exposing herself fully to his gaze.

He positioned himself between her legs, his cock nudging at her entrance. "Ready for Daddy?"

"Please," she begged, her hands reaching for him.

Yugyeom entered her slowly, watching her face for any sign of pain or discomfort. When she only sighed in pleasure, he began to move, his thrusts deep and deliberate.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his hips snapping against hers. "Feel how good Daddy makes you feel."

Her cries filled the room, her body tensing as she neared her peak. Yugyeom felt her walls clenching around him, the sensation driving him closer to his own release.

"Come for me," he ordered, his pace increasing. "Show Daddy how much you love it."

With a scream, she shattered, her body convulsing as she squirted around him, the liquid pooling beneath her. Yugyeom followed her over the edge, his orgasm crashing through him as he spilled inside her.

Collapsing beside her, he pulled her into his arms, his breathing ragged. "Mine," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

She snuggled closer, her voice soft. "Always, Daddy."

Yugyeom smiled, his grip tightening. "Good. Now sleep, my little one. Tomorrow, we begin your training."

#yugyeom #got7 #got7 reaction #got7 scenario #got7 reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop #kpop imagines #kim yugyeom

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flurrys-creativity · 2 years

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666 Milestone Collab

After starting this collab in January it is finally time. I’m here to share the masterlist of all the stories written by incredible authors.

I am beyond grateful they joined otherwise this wouldn’t have been possible. Please show these authors much love and enjoy their supernatural stories to the fullest!

Answer / pt.2 by @daemour

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader, Choi San x Reader (Ateez); Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Fluff, Angst, Ghost AU, Mystery, Supernatural elements, vaguely horror; Warnings: Religious content, toxic possessiveness, slight yandere, mentions of death, death

Summary: For as long as Seonghwa had been roaming the world as a ghost, he hadn’t remembered much of his life when he was... well... living. But one thing he does remember is you. His childhood friend whom he hadn’t seen since he moved in primary school. So naturally, he seeks you out.

To his surprise, you can see him. He immediately decides to hold onto you for as long as he can. After all, you’re the only tie he has to the living world. He doesn’t want anything to get in the way of what could be a normal life.

Not even your potential partners.

bàs a tha ri thighinn by @flurrys-creativity

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol (Seventeen) x Reader; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Fantasy, Angst, smidges of fluff, hopefully horror, maybe smut; Warnings: tbd.

Summary: You had moved into a house near a small village in the highlands of Scotland, which appeared to be a peaceful place by day with dozens of tourists but turned dangerous at night. Though having the town’s heart throb by your side should be enough for your protection, shouldn’t it?

Blood Red Love by @limjaeseven

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x Kim Yugyeom (GOT7); Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Horror, Angst, Hannibal!AU, maybe smut; Warnings: Cannibalism, death, gore and more

Summary: Yugyeom should have remembered that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, and that something, or better, someone came in the shape of a tall, handsome, psychiatrist with an impeccable taste in fashion and a penchant for the unspeakable.

Burn the World by @sanjoongie

Pairing: Kang Yeosang (Ateez) x Fem!Reader; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Smut, Demon AU, Supernatural AU; Warnings: blood, sex, use of the occult, religious aspects

Summary: As the leader of a cult, in an attempt to summon a demon to aid you in taking over the world, you utter a couple of words in Latin wrong and go from “let your powers enter me and me make powerful” to “let YOU enter my body and give me pleasure”. Kang Yeosang, a demon prince of the 2nd circle of Hell aka Lust, answers your summons. With blood sealing the contract, you have no option but to hope for the best and let the demon own your body.

Devotion by @flurrys-creativity

Pairing: Ten (NCT) x Reader; Rating: nsfw,18+, MDNI; Genre: Supernatural AU, Smut, hints of horror at the beginning; Warnings: darkness, imprisonment, being chained up, unprotected sex, riding, marking, making out

Summary: You saw it - no - him. Every night in your dreams. You saw him, spoke with him, touched him. He seemed to know exactly what was happening while you stumbled through the dark. Yet you were drawn to him. Enough to fulfill any request that spilled from his lips.

Knock Knock by @kingsuckjin

Pairing: Park Jimin (BTS) x Fem!Reader; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Genre: Horror, Smut; Warnings: horror, haunting things happen, paranoia, smut, making out, edging, nipple play, dry humping, jimin has a marking and ownership fetish, biting, dirty talk, female fingering, jimin is the biggest fuckboy, this has a few cliché horror tropes

Summary: “Emergency broadcast alert: please remain indoors at this time. Close all curtains and windows, and fo not open any doors, do not let them in. This warning will be in effect until the next update. Please stay safe during this time.”

Say my name (ao3) by @mingsolo

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong (Ateez) x Fem!Reader; Rating: 18+; Genre: Incubus AU, Supernatural AU, Demon AU, Smut; Warnings: sexual themes, mentions of alcohol, manifestations of demonic presence, cursing

Summary: Playing the Ouija board was stupid, but you did it anyways to please your dumb friends. How could you have known that the demon you summoned got a liking to observe you, and decided to toy with your patience until you finally said his name.

Under A Spell by @honeyhuii

Pairing: Yang Jungwon (Enhypen) x Reader; Rating: PG-13; Genre: Magic Academia AU, Love spell AU, Magic AU, Secret Admirer AU, One-sided Enemies to lovers, Classmates to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining; Warnings: prefect!witch!Jungwon, witch!reader, mentions of food, swearing, kissing, minimal fight scenes and kidnapping

Summary: Being in love was never easy. But being in love with Yang Jungwon? That was an oncoming storm. Especiall since he considers you an enemy... But you were completely head over heels for the prefect and would coninue to send him love notes every day even if it means that’s the only way he’ll notice you... Well that was until your two best friends decide to give you a love potion that makes Jungwon fall for you.. You should’ve given the label a read before you put it in his locker because if Jungwon didn’t already dislike you, now he definitely will.

Once again a big thank you to all the authors that joined this crazy journey! Thanks so much for putting up with my chaos! I had an incredible time and hope you had a similar joy in this collab.

#supernatural collab #milestone event #thrill me chill me fulfill me #collab masterlist #ateez #bts #enhypen #got7 #nct #seventeen

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moccahobi · 2 years

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Yearly Toppers

Looking back at the data from 3 years, I wanted to honor and reflect on the top 3 fics from each year (2020, 2021, and 2022)! A note for 2022: I am highlighting the fics with the most notes at the current moment. I have fics that I’ve not posted yet and older fics will have an edge up on newer fics simply because of how time works.

2020

Safety (Namjoon x Reader)

Summery: You can’t lie to your soulmate. It was a fact that many people knew, including you. You just didn’t expect to find your soulmate during your night shift at the MSN book store you work at. You also didn’t expect them to be the Kim Namjoon, an up-and-coming star.

Angst, Fluff

I think something that struck me about this fic is it was my first time writing a soulmate au. I really enjoyed it and found the story something that I easily fell into. Just as I hope readers were, I found myself rooting for the reader in the climax and anxious with them as the show started! I’ve been meaning to write another soulmate au but I’ve simply not had time yet. Mayhaps next year I will try to!

Midnight Musings (Jungkook x Reader)

Summery: You just moved to Korea for a teaching job and on your first night, you decided to visit a local cafe. You even took a photo to commemorate the move! That photo actually lead to something very unexpected happening though.

Fluff, smut, a touch of angst

One of my first smuts! 2020 was truly a year of exploration for me! I think it was my first year trying mxm and branching out into got7 fics! I must admit, I don’t think I will write smut much more because though I am sex indifferent, the idea of sex really... I don’t enjoy it. It just sort of is something. I laughed all while writing this fic and my other smut. It was a fun experience and I greatly admire all smut writers but it isn’t something for me as a hobby writer.

Slow Mornings (Jungkook x reader)

Summery: You decide to make Jungkook breakfast in bed.

Fluff

Honestly. I was shocked by this looking back. I don’t often think of drabbles as stuff that really leads to much but please don’t underestimate the power of drabbles for getting eyes on your blog! It was a fun and short fic and I think it makes me want to get back into doing some drabbles! I’ve been thinking of how I want to start of 2023 and playing around with the idea of a drabble series. Maybe... if you all have drabble requests, I could take those instead!

2020 was truly a year of exploration for me. I had a lot of fun with all the stuff I wrote! It is quite fun to look back and see what range of stuff I did! Interestingly, the notes on these fics haven’t changed tons since I took note of them in 2020 but that’s ok. These stories hold a special place in my heart. Especially safety!

2021

Taking it Slow (Namjoon x Reader)

Summery: Reading with Namjoon

Fluff

I had a lot of fun writing this piece. I started as half a page free write. Then I made it the length of a full page. Then I wrote it up on a google document and tried to double its length once again. I enjoyed it a ton and writing this piece made me feel quite calm! It was an attempt of mine to spark some creativity and while I found some creativity with writing this piece, I didn’t find much that carried over.

A Spark in the Commons (Yugyeom x Reader)

Summery: You help an anxious deer shifter in the shifter union commons and a friendship buds.

Fluff

This might’ve been one of my first posted Got7 fics! What are my thoughts on it... 1) I am happy I started writing Got7! I really love them a ton and I am glad that I finally branched out again! I had leaned into BTS after starting to write for Seventeen. 7 is much less than 13 and only recently have I started branching out again! 2) I am... not the biggest fan of this fic. I’ve been open about my struggles with writing in 2021 so it isn’t personal to the event or anything like that... but I was using events to push me to write and while I am glad I wrote this and glad people enjoy it, I do not have a strong bond to it.

Drawing Blood (Taehyung x Reader)

Summary: An attempt to get over a two year crush on your friend (and a suspected vampire) leads to interesting discoveries.

Fluff, Angst

I uh... remember making the graphic more than I remember writing this fic. TO BE FAIR! I WROTE 24 FICS IN 2021. TO NOT REMEMBER A FEW HAPPENS (plus I think because it was posted on sssc, I didn’t get the notifications of interest and thus had to check it rather than seeing it on my notif bar). That being said, I did have some fun writing this fic and when I look back, I am really curious about the world I was writing in. I think if I could go back and do this fic again, I would. I’d expand on it and add another plot that really highlighted the vampirism rather than just had it be a characteristic. It is 3.8k afterall. I wonder what more depth I could add to it if it became 8k! This fic was a gift for a dear friend of mine, @voiceswithoutlips. Potentially it could be something that I further expand on with Kas’s help!

A year of distance between me and 2021, I still don’t fully know how I feel about the year. There are stuff that I do hold dearly, but I really do think I was nearing or at burnout. I was tired and fried and I think it shows in my writing some. I wasn’t fried for the whole time but I was for a while. I think as well... I hold a lot of guilt for the year. As mentioned a few times on my blog, part of why I took time off from school early 2021 was because of a surgery and mental health struggles... last time I had a major surgery though, my writing surged forth like a protective barrier and this time... it got hurt with me. Again, I had fun and I look back on some of my stuff fondly but I also look back at stuff and wonder “when did I write this??” and I see the hurt and scared person I was. I see how I was struggling to cope and wishing desperately that my writing would be a safe space for me again while somewhere in me, I knew it wasn’t.

2022

Heated Blanket (Jungkook x Reader)

Summery: After finals, you choose to take a nap. Your favorite heated blanket comes to join you.

Fluff

I posted this fic before I really started changing my writing habits... or at the very least, I wrote it before that happened. It was hard to write this fic on many layers. I was low motivation and energy, I was recovering from the first inflammation of my nerves, and I was battling the feeling of needing to do more. This fic was a gift to a good friend of mine ( @ditttiii) and I am really glad I managed to write something for her! It’s a fun little drabble!

A Story From a Different Time (Taehyung x Reader)

Summery: Love. Love is such a wonder. Your love story is especially wondrous to your grandkids who love love as much as you and hang on to every word as you relive the time in your life as a teacher when you met a soft hearted tattoo artist.

Fluff, hint of angst

This fic was a year in the making! I started it sometime last year (maybe October? Or early November?) and had some bones of it created. That being said, I wasn’t happy with it. Throughout this year, I’ve worked on it bit by bit and tried hard to get it out in time for @taegularities birthday! Seeing it already able to make it to the top three was a shock because it’s only been a month or so (then again, most of my fics this year get like 10 notes or less so...). I am fairly happy with the writing process and how this fic came about! It’s full of tons of references and nods to Rid and I also got to write a fic that passes the Bechdel test this year (if you’ve not heard of it, essentially to pass it you need a woman talking to another woman about something other than a guy)! Having fics that pass the Bechdel test when I have women in my story is something I want to do more of (similarly, I want more representation of disabilities, sexuality, and of people all around the gender... cloud? I know spectrum is commonly used but like... it’s not really a spectrum so idk what to call it otherwise).

Let You Fly (Jimin x Namjoon)

Summery: Namjoon and Jimin have been together for only 7 months and it’s been near perfect. The two fit together wonderfully. All changes when Namjoon’s dream job offer slides itself into his inbox. He’d been eyeing the position in Japan for years… It wouldn’t be fair to Jimin to pack up his bags and join Namjoon, but it wouldn’t be fair to Namjoon to try to force him to stay. Instead, Jimin must let him fly.

Angst, hint of fluff

THIS FIC! I AM SO HAPPY THAT THIS FIC IS ONE ON THIS LIST! It’s based off of a song (Seven Months by Sunshine State) and I had so much fun writing this fic. This was written shortly after I realized something must change. I was very intentionally working on trying different things and I feel like it really paid off for this fic. I got immersed in it, made a playlist, made a graphic for it, did character interviews, and tried doing a teaser. Most of it’s notes came from BWC’s bookclub and honestly, I am so content with that because it came with people giving me their thoughts on it. It’s a brainchild of mine and I am so honored to have people share their thoughts on it and to have people read it!

It’s not lost on me that all the fics that are on my top 3 for 2022 are ones that were gifts or bookclub fics. Why do I think this is? Well... a multitude of reasons. 1) I posted half as much as I had in 2021 and 2020 (24 and 28 respectively in comparison to the 14 I posted this year). And almost half of what I posted (6 fics) were for my series A Fae’s Brew to Take You Away. Something I started 3/4 years ago and let collect cobwebs for two of those years. It gets less than 10 notes and half of the notes are just nets rebloging. Please know, I am ok with that. I am not complaining. I just want to finish this series. 2) Aside from ASFDT and Heated Blanket, all I wrote was MxM which doesn’t do well on tumblr. 3) I post infrequently. 14 fics is roughly 1 every month. I know I didn’t post that regularly though. And on tumblr, there’s an expectation to churn from readers. It’s social media. You’re rewarded for more posting. 4) I don’t get a lot of traction to my blog. I sit contently at 750 some followers and many of my fics don’t reach the top page (or if they do it’s only for a short time).

That being said, keeping in mind the few notes and the traction being from other writers reblogging, I am really happy with the stuff that I’ve posted. I finished writing AFBTTYA so hopefully I will be able to edit and get to a point where I am posting something from it every month all next year! In the past few months, the amount I am writing has increased. I am feeling creative with what I am writing! I think that this devopment may take a bit of time to shine through on my blog because with series, I am trying to finish it before I start posting. I am trying to widdle away my 30+ wip list. I am still in school. I still have nerve inflammation. But I think this year has been a year of me trying to better my relationship with my writing. It will take time and I still struggle (just yesterday, after writing 3.5k the day prior, I got anxious about not writing that much again) but I am learning better coping strategies. In some ways, the low notes help because I can really work to untangle my love of writing and want to post from those notes which will hopefully help me keep that boundary if I get higher notes.

I think I am going into 2023 excited for my writing. It’s refreshing.

#lillia talks #throwback fics #looking back

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