#got that southern slang baby

[gummybugg]

Heads Up Seven Up

I was tagged by @mariahwritesstuff in here! I apologize this took a while since I was in the process of preparing my WIPs for my blog! I wanted things to have a bit of context. I am going to tag the first few people that show up in my dash: @my-cursed-prince, @writeouswriter, and @rickie-the-storyteller (totally optional tags, of course). If anyone else would like to participate then hop on in!

I decided to pick 7 lines from my WIP The Mice Come Out at Night. Although, I probably broke the rules a bit because some context was needed!

“My God, what is wrong with me? Am I sick? Do I need to go to the hospital? Am I gonna die?!” Morgana’s hands flew over his mouth as he fumbled for control of his nerves.

“Calm down, you’re not going to die.” The gentle spirit sighed. The teapot hovered above Morgana’s cup. “Now, drink some tea.”

“No, I don’t think you understand. I don’t even understand!” Morgana moved to get up, his knees catching the edge of the table. The loose silverware tumbled onto the floor, their clattering signaling the end of the tea party. “Of course, y'all would act this way. Y'all're all dead!” 

“Oh, I see how it is,” said the calculated one.

“But what about our tea party?” The youngest ghost asked.

“No tea party. I think I just need to rest my head.”

“Morgana, please don’t leave—this is important to the youngest!” The gentle spirit called after the young man, who had already made it halfway up the stairs.

[rinhaler]

𝐉𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

Baby I Know How To Use a Gun (gun.. gun)

18+, dubcon, vaginal sex, alcohol consumption, cheating, toxic!relationship (they are both toxic af), gaslighting, manipulation, coercion, co-dependency, gun inaccuracies (probably), gunplay ♡ physical abuse?, pussy drunk!megumi, choking, dacryphilia, daddy!kink, bruising ♡, spanking, masochism, minor dildo use, fingering,dumbifcation, pussy spanks, scratching, breeding kink, calls your pussy ‘she’.

words: 8k

Requests:

little pervy brother megumi!

𝐓𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

You Deserve Roses and You Know This

18+, dubcon, vaginal sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), nipple play, dacryphilia, pregnancy, abortion ideation, miscarriage, depression, adultery, breeding, creampie ♡, smoking mention.

words: 4.1k

By the Dim Lamplight

18+, fem!reader, noncon/rape mention, noncon filming mention, hybrid!reader, abuse, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome ♡, whipping mention, Fushiguro's have a Southern twang, branding, fingering, age gap (megumi + reader 20s, toji 40s), lactation!kink, tit sucking ♡ (duh), sir!kink, spanking ♡ (incl. pussy spanks), manipulation, pet names (sweetheart, darlin', honey), cheating, reader has pubes!, tummy bulge ♡, creampie.

words: 5k

Trigger Finger Ready and Got Nowhere To Run To

18+, dub/noncon, mentions of violence/murder, toxic!relationship, free use ♡, manipulation, jealousy, fem!Uraume, degradation ♡, praise, no prep, oral fixation ♡, size!kink, daddy!kink, choking (hands + belt), slight breathplay, exhibitionism, spanking, dacryphilia ♡, dumbification, creampie(s), calls your pussy “she/her”, slight cucking, oral (m+f receiving), restraints, fingering ♡, pussy spanks, squirting ♡, multiple orgasms, double penetration!(one hole), brief anal mentioning, breeding ♡, belly bulge ♡, pet names (princess, brat, good girl, sweetheart).

words: 15.2k

In The World My Demons Cultivate

18+, fem!reader, no smut, dead character, mental heatlh struggles, suicide ideation, grief/loss, drug abuse, pet names.

words: 3k

Two Lovers Entwined

18+, fem!reader, british slang (duh!), brief slut-shaming, size kink ♡, slight exhibitionism, dry humping, spanking ♡, cunnilingus, daddy!kink, vaginal sex, squirting, belly bulge ♡, creampie ♡, pet names (baby, princess, darlin', sweetheart etc.)

words 9.5k

Requests:

Toji & his bimbo sugar baby

Toji noncon w/ virgin step daughter

One night stand

Yakuza boss!Toji

Step dad!Toji is lonely and needs you

Toji + petplay

Yakuza!Toji + brat taming

Thirsts:

bloody knuckle fingering

Yakuza!Toji & Yakuza!Shiu spoil you

Step daddy!Toji making you watch porn

Toji w/ morning wood

𝐑𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚

Am I (25F) The Asshole For Fucking My Boyfriends Older Brother (28M)

18+, dubcon, mean dom!sukuna, sub!reader, cheating, hate sex ♡, drug taking, weed smoking, blowbacks/shotgunning, heavy degradation, slight praise, fingering ♡, vaginal sex, sixty-nineing ♡, face sitting, squirting ♡, pussy spanking, noncon filming, coercion, manipulation, daddy!kink, creampie, cervix fucking.

Words: 10.6k

DEATH IS NO MORE !

18+, fem!reader, violence, blood ♡, daddy!kink, size difference ♡, age gap, degradation, fingering, orgasm denial, pussy spanks, dacryphilia, finger sucking, vaginal sex, choking ♡, creampie, squirting ♡, pet names (princess, sweetheart, baby).

Words: 10k

Requests:

plug!sukuna after fingering you

plug!sukuna and yuuji double team

noncon w/ step bro!sukuna

plug!sukuna w/ a shy girl at a party

plug!sukuna offers you a treat

sukuna slips his hand/tongue under your skirt

play fighting w/ plug!sukuna

plug!sukuna wants to hear you

jealous uncle!sukuna

cucking!Ino

Thirsts:

noncon w/ new student reader

sukuna's happy trail

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢

Requests:

mutual masturbation w/ uncle nanamin

uncle nanamin & step daddy gojo

uncle nanamin gives you a vibrator

step daddy!nanami is jealous

date night w/ uncle nanamin

Thirsts:

uncle nanamin

jealous uncle!nanamin

step dad!gojo and uncle nanamin catch u camming!

𝐘𝐮𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢

Requests:

yandere step bro!yuuji

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨

Requests:

step bro!gojo noncon

step dad!gojo ft. step itadori bros

getting off to you fucking his bestie!

jealous daddy!gojo read your texts!

ex!babysitter gojo & ex!babysitter suguru dp you!

giving step!bro gojo a pussy job

Thirsts:

step dad!gojo and uncle nanamin catch u camming!

step dad!gojo and uncle!suguru

𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐨

Requests:

pervy roomamate!choso

𝐈𝐧𝐨 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐦𝐚

Don’t You Love It When I Come Around?

18+, fem!reader, dubcon (he's high), toxic relationship, exes to lovers?, rich boy!ino, dacryphilia, pussy eating ♡, light nipple play, vaginal sex, love making ♡, drool ♡, praise, slight orgasm denial, scratching, creampie ♡, manipulation, calls your pussy she/her, pet names (princess, baby/babe, gorgeous etc.)

words: 4.6k

Thirsts:

cum eating

cucking!Ino

[kaytheday]

Things that were a Culture Shock for Dallas Winston from New York to Tulsa

Being able to see the stars for the first time. He is so surprised about how full the sky is, not that he would ever tell anybody that.

No public transportation (there is no way baby Dally ever learned how to drive and no way that he has a drivers lisence now) Buck probably taught him to drive.

He probably misses the subway and hates the bus system that Tulsa operates under (which is why he’s stealing Bucks car all the time).

Lowkey the rats. He is probably overestimating quite how much vermin there is.

The first time Darry caught him stuffing a towel in the sink drain at like 10:00 pm before they go to a drag race he was very confused.

"Why are you doing that Dal?"

"I’m planning on sleeping here tonight and if you don't keep these things plugged up when you go to bed you're gonna have a full rat invasion on your hands. They can get through pipes smaller than these you know Darrel.”

"Ratvasion up in here!"

"Shut up Two-Bit!"

Streets with nobody on them and less crowded spaces in general. Dallas is constantly asking where all the people are. Everyone else just keeps telling him that this is a normal amount of people?

Another thing that I think about is how Dallas was probably on high alert right after he moved. He was constantly used to the noise and the fighting and he was pretty paranoid about people following him and things like that because of the crime he was involved with in the city.

He was jumpy and always ready for a fight. He also thought that most of the neighborhoods in Tulsa were run by gangs. They are not (if anything they are loosely run)

The prices of things? In New York things are just more expensive. This is why he is always treating Johnny and Ponyboy because he sees that paying for three people in Tulsa is as much as paying for himself in New York.

Also the first time he got paid for barrel racing by Buck he thought he was getting gypped because it didn't seem like a lot compared to what he was getting in New York. He literally almost punched Buck's teeth out on the spot.

The accent. He would always get annoyed with how slow people talked.

"Come on! Spit it out and get to the point! I don't got all day!" He's done this on many occasions to store cashiers, people at the bar, and so many others. He gets so sick of waiting for them to say their bit.

Also the southern manners piss him off as well. He hates responding to ‘how are you?’ Or the stupid ‘have a nice day’. He’s complained more than once on the unnecessary small talk and manners.

This could also be why he comes off as rude and cold to Ponyboy especially and many others. He is blunt and says what’s on his mind and he hates small talk and unnecessary interactions. (as most New Yorkers do!) He will almost always cut an interaction short doing anything he can to get out of it. This is often what differentiates him from other southern hoods.

New Yorkers talk fast and they use a lot of complicated slang that the rest of the United States doesn't use. A lot of people get confused when he's talking to them and we know how Dallas is easily frustrated.

"I've been schleppin' your stuff around all day Buck, it's brick out 'ere and I come home to this Schlock? I gotta go lie down!" (love you and your New Yorker accent Dallas 🥰)

Let me know if you guys have any more. I love this concept.

This is inspired by some tags left on a post by @damthosefandoms

[cinnaleaf]

「 Rouxed Up | A Very Merry Footballer Ficmas 」

summary: you bring your man home for an american christmas while you try to survive your chaotic family | MDNI 18+

warnings: smut, dom/sub dynamic, dirty talk, language, chaotic family, cultural specificity (black southern american), southern slang, food mentions, mentions of alcohol, humour 🎅🏾: my writer elf worked very hard on this to make it special for the american girlies | pt 4 of my ficmas series wc: ~5.9k

You should’ve known things were going to be chaotic the minute you turned onto the street where you grew up. Houston suburbs were excessive, especially during Christmas. There were overly large brick houses lined with lights that doubled the electric bill, inflatable Santas, reindeer, and other decorations fighting for space in every yard. Your parents’ house wasn’t any different: it was a sprawling 4 bedroom home with a front yard cluttered with holiday decorations, lights, and an inflatable football. Your mom swore it was festive enough to win the homeowner’s association holiday contest this year, but they lost to the neighbors across the street for the second year in a row. 

“I guess they do it big in Texas, huh?” Aurélien asked while sliding out of the car to stretch his long legs.

“Always” you answered back, reaching to pull a foil pan full of red beans and rice from the backseat. “This isn’t real Texas though baby. You’re about to step right into Louisiana as soon as we get inside the house.”

You weren’t exaggerating. After the hurricane, your entire family packed up and started over in Houston. They may have swapped New Orleans shotgun houses for oversized Texas bricks, but the food, accents, and chaos all came with them. Now, you were dragging your French footballer boyfriend into the chaos so he could see what a Creole Christmas looked like. He was hype for weeks, asking you nonstop questions about the food, NOLA bounce remixes, if your family had any relation to Beyoncé, and if anyone in the family still spoke French.

When you walked inside, the house was alive with uncles yelling at an NFL game on a large tv in the living room. Your cousins were running around playing hide and seek in rooms they knew they weren’t supposed to be running around in. The smell of seafood stock cooking hit your nose first – shrimp shells, water, and various aromatic vegetables and herbs were bubbling in a pot so big it could feed a small army. The kitchen was at max capacity as your grandma barked orders while your aunt Beverly was busy icing a pound cake.

“Y/N, baby!” Your grandma spotted you before you could even set the tin pan down. She quickly washed her hands and waddled over to you to pull you into a hug that smelled like a mix of cajun seasonings and White Diamonds perfume. “You finally brought him back with you! What’s his name..Leon??”

“Aurélien.” you corrected her politely, enunciating it so she could get it right.

Aurélien stepped forward with a polite, meet the family smile while your grandma looked him up and down quickly and then put on the glasses that were sitting on top of her head to get a clearer look. “Hmm..he’s tall. Very handsome too. Your taste ain’t too bad, I’ll give you that. You must’ve got that from me because your mama never picked ‘em right when she was your age.”

“I told y’all he was fine,” one of your aunts added while checking the pecan pie in the oven. 

“Nana..auntie..please don’t start” you muttered, trying not to laugh while Aurélien stifled his laughter next to you.

“I’m just saying!” your grandma gave you a dramatic shrug and then turned her attention back to him. “So do you know anything about real football? Not that soccer stuff.”

“Nana!” you hissed, feeling embarrassed by your family already. “He’s literally a professional footballer.”

“Uh huh” she said unimpressed. “I don’t know nothing about that.”

Aurélien grinned, leaning into his perfect boyfriend performance with an almost too good to be true charm. “I know a little bit about NFL. Y/N taught me a few things.”

Your grandma waved him off with a scoff. “Mhm, we’ll see. Don’t let my son hear you say that or he’ll have you on the couch talking about the Saints all night.” Then she turned her attention back to you with a no nonsense look. “Y/N, you’re making the gumbo this year.”

Your stomach dropped. “Wait what?”

“Gumbo. You heard me” she said, already making her way out the kitchen. “You’re always in the kitchen when I make it. Show your boyfriend you know how to cook so he doesn’t go back home thinking we raised you wrong.”

“Nana I’ve never–”

“Better figure it out!” she snapped over her shoulder, dismissing you with a wave. “The stock is on the stove and everything else is over yonder (nearby) in the ice box (fridge). Don’t mess my kitchen up.”

Aurélien looked down at you, amused by your predicament. “You didn’t tell me you were the chef tonight.”

“That’s because I didn’t know” you muttered while the panic set in. You knew your entire family would clown you for years to come if you fucked your grandmother’s gumbo recipe up. They were still talking about the mac and cheese you messed up three years ago by adding cottage cheese, so you couldn’t take any chances this year. 

“Okay..” you sighed and tied your braids into a bun as you made your way over to the sink to wash your hands. Before you could even start getting anything accomplished, one of your little cousins, Myles, came yelling and running through the kitchen out of nowhere.

“Y/N! My mom said your boyfriend has money for Robux. Can he buy me some? Pleaseeee?”

“No!” you snapped, holding up a wooden spoon. “And why are you running in here? You know you’re not supposed to be in the kitchen playing!”

“We’re just playing hide and seek,” Myles said while full of sugared adrenaline. “But I’m not hiding in here..I just wanted to see if I could get some robux.”

“Robux your ass out of this kitchen please” you commanded while wrangling him and the rest of your cousins out of the kitchen.

Aurélien cocked his brow, watching you as you ushered your cousins out of the kitchen area. 

“Baby.. I can buy them some robux, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“No. He’s always begging for something” you muttered, shoving flour and oil onto the counter.

“Y/N!” your other cousin, Gianna, yelled from the hallway. “Can you fix my hair? My mama bumped the ends and I don’t like it.”

“Girl, I just got here! Ask Nana!”

“She said no,” Gianna pouted, slowly dragging her feet toward the living room.

Your mom appeared from another room with her hands full of empty tin pans, scowling. “Why are y’all yelling in my house like this?” Her eyes landed on Aurélien and she softened immediately. “Hi Aurél. You hungry?”

Aurélien flashed the same smile he used on your grandma, but it worked a lot better on your mom. “No ma’am but thank you. It’s good to see you again.”

“Is my daughter treating you right?” your mom asked with a smile on her face while setting the pans down beside some plates. “I know she can be a little feisty…”

“Wooow…” you rolled your eyes, not believing your ears. 

“Is she treating me right?” Aurélien repeated with a laugh, glancing at you as he leaned against the counter. “I have no complaints. She’s perfect for me.”

Your mom raised an eyebrow, amused by his smoothness. “You like that? I guess there’s someone out there for everybody…”

“Mom!” you yelled, reaching for the knob on the stove with an exaggerated huff. “Can y’all chill on me?”

Your mom laughed as she walked toward the living room with the others. “Alright, I’m gone. Don’t mess up the gumbo.”

“Don’t burn the roux Y/N!” Myles shouted from wherever he was hiding.

Aurélien snickered, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Yeah. Don’t burn the roux baby.”

You gave him a glare, pointing the wooden spoon toward him. “I don’t need your commentary. You’re here to chop vegetables and shut up. Got it?”

“Got it” he raised his hands up dramatically, but was still grinning like he was about to get on your every last nerve.

You turned back to the counter, yanking the fridge open to pull out the holy trinity. Just as you set the onion, celery, and bell pepper on the cutting board, your Aunt Beverly waltzed in with a glass of something that probably had way too much Crown Royal in it.

“Now why do you have this young man standing here looking like a guest?” she asked, plopping her glass down on the counter. “Aurélien you better start chopping! This ain’t Madrid.”

“I was just waiting for my instructions,” Aurélien replied, grabbing a knife. “I’m ready to work auntie.”

“Aww look at him” she cooed, giving you a look. “You better not mess this one up Y/N. He’s fine and he listens. That’s rare.”

You groaned, already regretting bringing him with you for Christmas. “Why is everyone acting like he’s the only man on earth?”

“Nobody said he was,” Aunt Beverly replied, sipping her drink. “But he’s the finest one I’ve seen you bring around.”

Aurélien didn’t even try to hide his smirk. “Thank you auntie.”

“Don’t thank her” you scoffed, shoving the cutting board closer to him. “Just chop.”

Before you could get into a good rhythm of chopping and stirring, Gianna came storming back in the kitchen, looking even more dramatic than before.

“Y/N!” she whined. “Pleaseeee fix my hair. Look at me!”

You glanced over at her, narrowing your eyes over the bumped ends while you tried not to laugh. “Gigi, you don’t need your hair fixed. It looks fine.” You were lying, she really looked like she worked in management at a call center.

“No it doesn’t!” she cried, stomping her foot. “I look like James Brown!”

You almost burst out laughing so you turned your head back to the stove, tucking your lips in to hide your smile while waving her off. “Just go sit down somewhere.”

“Fine” she huffed, stomping back toward the living room. “I’m telling Nana you’re being mean.”

“Tell her! I don’t care!” you yelled back, very unbothered.

Aurélien was at the counter chopping celery while all of this went down, but you saw him chuckling quietly to himself during the ordeal like this was the most entertaining family he had ever seen. “Do you talk to all of them like that? Is that normal?”

“Only when they act like this…” you muttered, dumping a pile of chopped onions into a bowl. “Which is every time I come home.”

“Your family is funny..I like them.”

“Just chop” you repeated while shaking your head. You were anxious your family would have scared him off by now, but knowing he was enjoying every second gave you butterflies.

While chopping, the sound of the NFL game blaring loudly in the background was interrupted by your uncle shouting, “Y/N! You know what you doing in there? It smells like something’s burning.”

You hadn’t even started cooking yet, and somehow your uncle was smelling phantom scents. You rolled your eyes again, ignoring his comments while you poured oil in the pan. A slow grin crept up Aurélien’s face when he saw how annoyed you were getting. “Burning the gumbo already?”

You whipped your head around, pointing the spoon at him. “Don’t start with me.”

With a heavy sigh, you turned your attention back toward the pan and swirled the oil around under the heat as you slowly added in flour. The roux was a life or death situation; you were either going to be a Creole princess, or your family would be on your neck for the rest of the night.

Aurélien stood close to you, leaning in with curiosity in his eyes. “So how do we do this? What’s the plan?”

“The plan is to stir this until its the color of dark chocolate” you said while moving the spoon in a steady circular pattern. “If I stop stirring it’ll burn and get all clumpy. After that, we add the veggies we just chopped to let it sauté, and then we add everything else and let it simmer.”

He nodded, leaning against the counter to watch you. “That’s simple enough.”

“It’s really not” you replied with your eyes locked on the pan. “And you’re distracting me already, so stop.”

“Baby I’m just standing here.” he smirked. “You’re that easily distracted?”

“No.” you shot back, side eyeing him for a split second. You were that easily distracted when he was around, but you weren’t about to admit to it.

“Are you sure?” He dropped his tone, teasing you. “Why are you gripping the spoon so tight?”

“Because I need to keep stirring..” you muttered while refusing to look at him.

“Hmm.” He paused, leaning in to whisper in your ear. “I know something else that grips like that. And it tastes good too.”

You froze for a second and then snapped your head toward him with your eyes wide. “Aurélien!”

“What?” he asked innocently, but his smirk was far from innocent. “I’m just being honest.”

“Stop” you voiced in a tight tone.

“Stop what?” he asked, sliding his hand to your hip.

“That.” you hissed, smacking his hand away with your free one. “I’m not fucking the roux up because you wanna play around.”

“I think you like it though..”

You were going to fire back but then your dad’s voice cut through the kitchen. “What’s it looking like in here?” Both of you stiffened when your dad walked in the kitchen with a drink in hand, eyeing both of you.

Aurélien straightened up and moved his hands back to his sides like he’d been caught. “It’s going well sir. She’s doing a good job.”

“Hmm” you dad walked up to the stove with his brows knitted in nothing but judgement while he stared at the roux. “Still looks too light to me.”

“It’s not ready yet!” you answered back defensively, tired of everyone getting onto you about the roux.

Your dad took a sip of his drink and shook his head. “I don’t know if I want to eat what you’re cooking…”

“Then don’t” you said under your breath so he wouldn’t hear you. Eventually, he wandered back toward another room. As soon as he was out of earshot, Aurélien leaned on the counter, smirking. 

“You look good in that dress, baby.”

“Aurélien....”

“What?” he teased, dropping his voice. “I can’t compliment my girlfriend?”

You huffed a breath and continued stirring the roux as it turned from a caramel color to a rich dark chocolate shade. “Not now.”

He stood behind you, towering over you as he brushed his lips up against your ear. “Later then?”

“Maybe…” you kept stirring with a vengeance, trying not to reveal how flustered he had you. 

When the roux finally finished, you let out a small sigh of relief. You had one hurdle down, but the gumbo was nowhere near being finished. You pushed the spoon against the sides of the pan to check the consistency to make sure it was smooth and velvety instead of clumpy.

Aurélien hovered over you, smiling like he was the one doing all the work this whole time. “You said it’s supposed to look like dark chocolate, right? Looks like it’s done.”

“Mmhmm.” You grabbed holy trinity mixture and tossed it into the pan with a satisfying sizzle and the aroma hit immediately.

He leaned in closer. “Smells good already.”

“It’s not even half done yet.” you said, pushing him back with your hip as you reached for the seasonings. You added cajun seasonings, thyme, and bay leaves into the pot. You reached for garlic powder, but Aurélien grabbed it first and held it out of your reach with another smirk on his face.

“Really?” you asked, giving him a look.

“I’m trying to help” he replied while sprinkling garlic powder in the pot like he was a pro chef before handing it back.

You rolled your eyes, dumping the rest of the ingredients into the pot while stirring. Aurélien watched you like he was mesmerized.

“Baby you look so good right now.”

“I’m literally sweating and I probably smell like filé powder so why are you lying?” you tried to keep your tone light but the look in his eye had you ready to bend over the countertop.

“I’m not. You look good.” He stepped closer to you and brushed his hand on the lower curve of your back. He tilted his head and traced small patterns against your dress. “And you keep bending over that pot like you want something else…”

“Aurélien.” you warned again, but it sounded more like a whine because his hand slid up to your hip at the same time.

“You’re doing such a good job baby.” he coaxed while gripping your hip to pull you up against him. If he wanted to play, you could too – so you lightly grinded up against him while the gumbo simmered on the stove. 

You could feel his breath hitch against your neck as he kissed you there, lightly nibbling on the skin. “Keep doing that.”

You pressed against him even more while his hands roamed over your dress. Just as you were about to push him off of you, the sound of your aunts’ voice drifted into the kitchen from the dining room. They were in a very loud and animated gossip session, so naturally both you and Aurélien froze in place to start eavesdropping.

“Girl have you seen Linda lately?” Your Aunt Kim’s voice cut through the kitchen.

“Who ain’t seen her?” Aunt Beverly shot back. “She’s all over town riding around in every man’s car but her husband’s. Makes no damn sense.”

“Chileeee…” Aunt Kim said with a dramatic drawl. “She has the nerve to be in church every sunday talking about the lord is her shepherd while she’s creeping with half the deacons.”

“Half?!” Aunt Bev cackled so loud it made Aurélien’s eyebrows shoot up. “Girl she’s hitting the men’s choir and the ushers too. And then she has the nerve to come in there with her wig sitting like a top hat. Baby, secure that wig first, then worry about your next man.”

“Not a top hat!” Aunt Kim howled. “She looks like she’s leading a marching band!”

“Mhm. I might tell you a joke but I’ll never tell you a lie” Aunt Bev continued cackling.

Your hand shot up over your mouth to keep from laughing as Aurélien leaned closer to you, confused. “What are they saying?” he whispered.

You leaned back into him, trying to explain without bursting into laughter. “They’re talking about the pastor’s wife. Apparently she’s been messing around with men who aren’t her husband. And her wig game is real bad.”

Aurélien’s face twisted with disbelief. “So she’s cheating and her wig is crooked? That’s crazy.”

You nodded with tears threatening to spill from how hard you were trying to hold back your laughter. “I swear nobody is safe in this family. They come for everybody.”

“She’s gonna end up in somebody’s sermon if she keeps it up” Aunt Kim said, taking a sip of her drink. “And I’m not saying a damn thing when it happens.”

“Nothing?” Aunt Bev smacked her lips. “Please. You’ll be the first one to say something. You haven’t been quiet a day in your life.”

Both women burst into a fit of laughter and you finally shoved Aurélien off so you could work on plating the gumbo over a bed of white rice. When you were finally done, you called everyone into the dining room. The table was already overloaded with food, but the gumbo was the star of the show. You set the bowls down in front of everyone, ready to hear everyone’s reactions.

“Alright” your grandma said as she sat at the head of the table. “Let’s see if my grandbaby did my gumbo any justice.”

Everyone started digging in and you heard the occasional “Mmm!” of approval from mostly everyone. You noticed your dad had his bowl of gumbo off to the side and he reached for some oxtail instead.

“You’re not gonna try it?” you asked.

He shrugged, unphased. “I don’t eat gumbo unless your Nana makes it. Especially if it has seafood in it. You know that.”

“Wow.” You crossed your arms, glaring at him. “You’re really going to do your daughter like that?”

Your dad glanced up at you with a smirk. “The last time you made a main dish for Christmas, you put cottage cheese in the mac and cheese. I don’t trust it.”

The whole table erupted in laughter, including Aurélien as he tried to cover his mouth. A look of defeat appeared on your face and you slumped in your chair. “I saw it on tiktok.”

“Tiktok doesn’t belong in the kitchen on Christmas day. Do that on your own time.” your grandma shook her head, cracking a crab leg to retrieve the meat inside.

When Aurélien dipped his spoon into the gumbo to take his first bite, his eyes widened. “Mmm” he hummed low and deep in his chest, dragging out the sound as his tongue darted to catch a stray bit of broth on his bottom lip. You froze mid bite, hovering your spoon over your bowl as he let out another groan of appreciation.

“This is so good,” he murmured in a smooth voice. His eyes were locked on yours the entire time, and the corner of his mouth curved into a smirk. “Baby you really did this.”

“It’s just gumbo” you tried to keep your voice even, feeling heat creeping up your skin.

“No,” he said, dipping his spoon back in for another bite. His gaze stayed on you as he savoured it, swiping his tongue across his lips in a teasing way. “This is perfect. I see why you were gripping that spoon now.”

You shifted in your seat, squeezing your legs together while your family was oblivious to the way your boyfriend was dismantling every bit of composure in you.

“Aurélien” you hissed low enough so no one else could hear. “You need to chill.”

“I’m just enjoying your cooking baby” he said, leaning in closer and dropping his voice just for you. “And thinking about what else you’re good at.”

Your spoon clattered on the bowl and you reached for your glass of water, downing it like you were dying of thirst. Aurélien’s hand slipped under the table, brushing against your bare thigh. “You okay?” he asked while continuing to rub your thigh in gentle strokes.

You glared at him, feeling the pool of heat in your core increase from his touch. “No. I’m really not.”

Aurélien didn’t stop his torturous strokes on your thigh as his fingers slipped a little higher. It was taking everything in you to control yourself and push his hand away, but you really wanted to grab it and pull it closer. Your family was still as loud as ever, conversing around the table and had no idea what was happening. Your uncles were arguing about the NFL game with one of your aunts, your grandma was fussing with Myles about trying to sneak a piece of cake before finishing all of his food, and your mom was going on about how she needed better lights next year in order to win the HOA decor competition.

Literally nobody was paying attention to you, and Aurélien took it to his advantage. He brushed his lips against your ear and whispered, “You’re tense baby. Maybe I should help you relax in a bit.”

“Let’s go.” you said under your breath, unable to take it anymore.

“Now?”

You shot him a look. “Now.”

Aurélien didn’t need to be told twice and stood up first, excusing himself from the table with an exaggerated excuse about how he needed to stretch his legs so his muscles wouldn’t get too stiff during the holiday break. It was bullshit, but either way nobody cared. You followed a few seconds later, pretending you needed to refill your glass of water.

When you met him in the hallway, his hand immediately hiked your dress up, gripping your hips from underneath while his lips met yours in a messy kiss. His tongue slid against yours as you arched your body into him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Your room?” he whispered against your lips, already leading you down the hall. You nodded but you could barely think straight when his lips started trailing down your neck. When you reached the door of your bedroom, you pushed it open quickly, expecting an empty bed but you froze in place when you saw someone’s random baby was asleep.

“Who.. whose baby is that?” Aurélien asked in a hushed tone, baffled.

“I don’t even know” you whispered back, shutting the door as quietly as possible before you started laughing.

You wasted no time grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the bathroom. Once you were inside, you locked the door and leaned back against it with a seductive smirk on your face. “We have about five minutes before someone starts looking for us.”

“Then we better not waste it” he said, sliding your dress back up around your hips. You palmed his dick over his jeans, stroking it against the fabric to make him hard while his hand found their way between your thighs. You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from you when his fingers started teasing you through your panties. His lips moved from your jaw, then to your neck and you tilted back against the door to give him more access.

“Auréliennn” you whispered in a voice shaky as you dug your nails into his arm.

“You need to be quiet for me baby” His voice was low and filled with lust. “Shhhh.”

You nodded, but his fingers slipped under your panties and met with your wetness, causing you to let out a soft, desperate moan. He smirked against your neck, teasing your skin with the warmth of his voice.

“I said be quiet for me.”

You bit your lip to hold back but he wasn’t making it easy for you at all. He had two fingers inside of you while his thumb rubbed your clit, teasing you until your legs started to shake.

“Please” you whispered, still clutching his arm while you struggled to keep it together quietly.

He pulled back enough to look you in the eyes with a smug expression on his face. “Please what?”

“Please” you repeated, voice trembling with want. “Just hurry.” You gripped the belt loop of his jeans with your hand, quickly unzipping his jeans so you could speed the process up. You really didn’t have much time and you were not about to risk not having the orgasm that was pent up and wavering, ready for release.

Aurélien leaned into your ear, arrogantly whispering in your ear. “You were clenching that spoon like you needed something else to hold onto. I’m about to give you something better.”

“Shut up” you muttered, already struggling to keep composure.

“You don’t want me to shut up” he whispered, brushing his lips against your neck as he spoke. “You love this too much. Tell me how good I feel.”

You gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. “You feel so good,” you whimpered. “But we don’t have time.”

“I don’t care” he cut you off, thrusting his fingers inside you with calculation. Your mouth fell open in a silent gasp as he filled you with his fingers, curving just right in a certain spot that made your legs week. “Take it, baby. Good girl.”

You bit your lip to keep quiet but he was driving you wild. His thumb pressed against your clit, swirling with just the right amount of pressure to make your breath quicken into rapid gasps.

“Aurélien I can’t” you hissed quietly.

“You will” he growled, pulling his fingers out and flipping you around so the front of your body was pressed against the door. His hand smacked your ass and you gasped, feeling the sting disperse from pain to pleasure. “Don’t cum until I say so.”

“Okay” you breathed with your cheek pressed against the door as he yanked your panties down. You heard him pull his jeans down and the anticipation made you shake a little. Aurélien lined his dick up against you, pushing inside you in one deep stroke. You clenched around him the minute he was inside and a mewl escaped your throat.

“Damn. You’re squeezing me already? You don’t even want me to move yet?”

“Move.” you pleaded in a barely steady voice. “Please move.”

“In a rush?” He smirked against your shoulder, pulling out slowly before deep stroking back in. The door rattled under his force and he grabbed your hip to steady you. “You want it like that?”

“It’s too loud” you whined, still trying to catch your breath.

“You’re too loud” he shot back, gripping your neck to tilt your head back. His lips brushed up against your ear as he whispered in your ear. “Be quiet or you won’t get to cum tonight.”

The pressure in your core was building fast and he hadn’t even fucked you like he meant it just yet. You bit your lip hard, trying to quiet your moans. His thrusts were deep, hard and merciless with each one hitting deeper than the last. When he reached around to rub your clit again, your legs started shaking.

“I wanna cum” you whimpered in a broken voice. “Aurélien I can’t hold it.”

“Yes you can” he commanded with his grip tightening on your hip as he stilled his movements to an infuriating pace. “You’re my good girl, right? Hold it for me.”

Your whole body was shaking from the intensity of it, you could feel the coil threatening to spring free with every second. “I can’t,” you whispered with tears in your eyes. “Please let me–”

Your orgasm hit you before you could warn him again or finish your sentence. Your body spasmed and a rush of wetness made a mess on your thighs and his. He froze and looked down before letting out a filthy groan. “Aah, fuck” he hissed, smacking your ass again which made you cry out. “Look at you making a mess all over me. Didn’t I tell you not to cum?”

“I’m sorry” you gasped, still trembling from the aftershocks. He didn’t stop and gripped your hips tighter, thrusting into you harder to drag you to another wave of pleasure that had you reaching behind to try and warn him again.

“You like that? You like being punished for not listening??” His voice was raw as he fucked you into a dickmatized state. “I want you to cum again but you gotta wait for me baby.”

At this point your legs were nearly giving out and your body was barely holding it together as he pushed you closer to another orgasm. His hand slipped around your throat, squeezing lightly. “Tell me you want me to fill you up.”

“Fill me up,” you begged, barely audible. “I want it.”

He thrust into you erratically, burying himself deep inside you as he came while trying to keep his groans quiet. You felt the warmth of his cum and the sensation sent you spiralling into another orgasm even more intense than the last. Your whole body shook as you clung to the doorknob next to you, gasping. When he finally pulled out, you were both a sweaty, breathless, wrecked mess. Your legs were still shaking and some of your braids had fallen out of the bun you tied earlier. Aurélien smirked, brushing a stray braid out of your face and leaned in to kiss you softly.

“I love you” he smiled, looking at you in a teasing way.

“Um..are you sure??? I can’t believe you just fucked me like that…” You were still trying to catch your breath and get rid of the ringing in your ear after all that. You wiped a stray tear from your eye as you freshened up the best way you could. Aurélien’s quickie had you exhausted and ready for a nap after just one tiny round. When you exited the bathroom, you tried to keep it together, but you couldn’t even walk properly.

You stepped out of the bathroom first, trying to act as normal as possible while adjusting your dress. Aurélien followed behind you, looking way more put together than you did. Judging by his smirk, he knew exactly the type of predicament he put you in. The moment you walked back into the living room, all conversation stopped and several pairs of eyes locked on you. You barely made it to the couch before your family started pouncing on you like you were prime entertainment. Aunt Bev tilted her head and squinted at you like you owed her an explanation.

“Y/N, why are you walking like that? What’s wrong with you?”

You tried to wave her off as you sank into the couch, crossing your legs like that would make you any less of a target. “I’m fine auntie. Just tired.”

“Tired?” Your grandma’s voice cut through the room. She peered at you over the rim of her glasses, full of suspicion. “You sick or something? You look sweaty.”

“I’m not sweaty!” you shot back, running a hand over your face out of instinct.

“Uh, yes you are” Gianna piped up from across the room with her bumped ends still unbumped. “Why are you shiny like that? You was in there doing push ups?”

“Gigi!” you snapped in a cracked voice as Aurélien strolled past you to grab another bowl of gumbo. Myles came skipping over, still fueled with sugar. He stopped right in front of you and scrunched his face up in confusion. “Why your hair look like that? You look a mess.”

Your hand flew to your head, gripping the loose braids that fell from the bun you thought you tied carefully. “Myles, mind your business!” you yelled, trying to tuck the braids back in while your family cackled.

“I told y’all she was sick” your grandma said while shaking her head as if you had offended her. “Sweating. Hair messed up. Tired. She’s acting like she just ran a marathon and she hasn’t done anything."

“Could’ve climbed a big, tall mountain” Aunt Bev added in with a knowing smirk while sipping her drink.

“Or fell out of a tree” Gianna chimed in, snickering like she was hilarious when it really wasn’t all that funny to you.

“Or got hit by a truck” Myles added with dramatics, which earned a loud laugh from your Aunt Kim.

“Leave her alone” she said, waving her fork at the group before she turned to you. “Seriously though, what were you doing back there? You’re sweating like a whore in church.”

You couldn’t even formulate a proper defense before someone else chimed in, but this time it was your dad who was sitting comfortably in his recliner. “She probably fucked the gumbo up just like I said. I ain’t even touch it. I wasn’t in the mood for one of her little experiments today.”

Your jaw dropped as the entire room started laughing at you. Aurélien was silently enjoying every second of it and finally decided to save you, or so he thought. He leaned against the wall while eating his second helping of gumbo.

“Her gumbo is the best I ever had.”

Aunt Bev raised a brow, slyly smiling as she looked between you and Aurélien. “Mmhmm” she hummed, dragging it out while leaning back in her chair.

“I bet it is.”

[prettyboypistol]

It says requests are open but please feel free to ignore if not and ofc don't do it if you do not feel like it or don't have inspo but may I request the mercs (tf2) reacting to finding out the reader (male ofc) has a voice kink and got turned on hearing them talk? Thank you in advance! have a nice day/night !! - transleviathan

Tf2 Mercs Realizing You Have a Voice Kink! || x Male!Reader +/18

Scout

Oh God, he gets so turned on when you tell him.

He already dirty talk babbles, now it's a hell of a lot more intentional.

Pulls you close and whispers dirty things in your ears

"Hey there, baby boy, wanna have a quickie?"/"Hey there prettyboy, you doing anythin' later tonight?"/"I got a bucket of chicken-"

Jeremy HAS and will CONTINUE TO take this as a massive ego stroke that makes him feel high as a kite.

Has asked to see if just his voice can get you off. (embarrassed when it can)

MAFIA VOICE HOTSHOT SCOUT THO

Soldier

He's really confused at first, but understands it after you lay on the compliments about how manly and hot his voice is.

Likes viewing it as him being superior to you in an authority figure in a military sense.

Solly likes dropping his voice suddenly to make you scream in surprise. He likes how you tense up and blush.

High key wants to kiss you when you get embarrassed.

Thinks it's funny when you giggle eagerly when he insults you in a deep voice.

Demoman

He's kinda caught off guard that you find his voice hot, but takes it and sprints with it.

Absolutely turns up the Scottish pet names and slang terms to fluster you. "Attaboy, there's a good lad." Is his favorite way to praise you.

Think it's cute how excited you get when he mutters under his breath.

Tavish grumbles an exasperated "Jesus christ.." and suddenly he has a cute Lil boyfriend in his lap and trying to kiss his face off.

PINS YOU DOWN AND DIRTY TALKS

Engineer

Oh this man takes it and runs with it. As soon as you tell him you like, really, like his voice, he feels his heart flutter

High key wants to role-play a cowboy and outlaw scene where he catches you and you 'convince' him not to turn you in.

You get "howdy"'d a lot more lol

SO MANY SOUTHERN NICKNAMES

Can't help but drop his voice and feel you up, God, he loves the reaction you give. You better be prepared for hot hyperfixation rants

Pyro

Overjoyed that someone actually likes their voice- not in the invasive way. When you confess that you find the muffling of their voice from their gas mask.

They like that your Kink isn't more... explicitly their voice, moreso the muffling.

The heavy breathing and little whines that you can hear when you're close.. nobody else hears that but you, and it turns you on.

Pyro likes talking to you through little orders that are easy to understand. (mmt./sit, mhpay./stay, mm mny./good boy)

Likes grabbing you by your hair and pulling you close to make you listen to the hissing of air from the gas mask.

Heavy

GOD. DAMN. This man goes above and beyond with his accent and russian talk around you after you tell him

He's super flustered but also really happy that you find his voice attractive! He's always been insecure about how he sounds in English because he sounds stupid when he talks in English.

When you express attraction to Heavy's voice, he gets all happy and confident.

"Oh? You like Heavy's voice!" Heavy pins you against a wall, his laugh shaking you. "Good."

Medic

"Oh, but listening to me talking about vivisections grosses you out?" kind of teasing

HUUUUGE ego boost to him, def likes teasing you with his voice and gently touching you in little ways (grabbing thighs, petting stomach, rubbing neck) ALL TOUCHING FROM BEHIND JESUS CHRIST

Again, loves holding you from behind and growling things int your ear as he kisses your neck. (please introduce him to mirror sex PLEASE)

German. So. Much. Fucking. German.

Wants to teach you German so so so badly!!!!

Spy

he knew you had a voice kink as soon as he talked to you.

He loves sneaking up on you and whispering dirty french in your ear. You don't know exactly what he's saying, but you know it's said to make you blush.

Only translates the dirty talk to english to fluster you further with an "Oh, I'm sorry dear, let me translate.."

Spy loves making you flustered with different voices, especially with roleplay scenes (loves dressing up in elaborate roles i'll die on this hill)

Sniper

Pins you against a wall and whispers into your ear, close enough for you to feel the warmth of his breath. "Oh, so you gotta thing for Aussies then? Right, I can work with that, darlin'~"

This man WILL bring you on a sniping mission and order you to get off as his eyes are trained on the target.

Likes how he can just order you to be aroused, just by a certain word or inflection in his speech. He grins like a predator when he realizes his power over you and God. You know it's over for you.

Has offered to dirty talk his way into getting road head

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[agender-wolfie]

Simon and Southern reader.

You’ve been dating Simon for about a year and you’ve both picked up on some habits the other has.

Y/N: “Hey,Si? Where are the biscuits?”

Simon: “In the cupboard, love.”

Y/N: “K, thank-……… I just called cookies ‘biscuits’”

You hear a deep chuckle from the living room.

Simon: “We’ll make a proper Brit out of you yet”

Y/N: “Please don’t tell my mama, I don’t think her lil heart can take it”

Simon: “Wouldn’t dream of it, love”

He does btw and your family never lets you hear the end of it

Y/N: “How the fuck do I use this thingamajig?!”

Simon: “….You mean the kettle?”

Y/N: “Yeah, that thing.”

Simon: “You mean to tell me you’ve never used a kettle before? How did you make tea?”

Y/N: “Babydoll, we just put it in the coffee pot then added more water with the sink after.”

*Distressed British noises*

Simon has used some of your slang without him even realizing it

Has said “Y’all” when addressing the team and they just stared at him with the wildest looks on their faces but he didn’t think anything of it

Price: “Ghost, I need you to lead todays training exercise.”

Simon: “Cool beans”

Price:

Has said “Well bless your heart” to a rookie that got cocky and tried to get buck with him. Do you want to hear that in a low menacing voice as he slowly walks up to you? Didn’t think so.

He loves all of your cooking but mostly your southern dishes. Will ask your mom if she has anymore recipes when you visit family.

Has tried sweet iced tea but just doesn’t like it. It’s the Brit in him. Will however make it for you and bring it to you in a thermos. Always makes it just the way you like it. Not too sweet and with a splash of lemon 🍋

Y/N: “Aww, Si. You didn’t have to do this for me, darlin.” 💖

He’ll shrug and act like it’s no big deal but he’s blushing under the mask. He’ll just toe at the floor and say

Simon: “It’s nothing, jus know you like that awful stuff.”

It’s all said in love, though. This man is a tsundere and you can’t tell me otherwise. But if someone else makes snarky or rude comments about your sweet tea?

Simon:“Say that again and I’ll kill you, skin you, gut you and make it look like an accident.”

Simon is very protective of his little southern baby 💙

[ashwhowrites]

Hiya, Mommy! I've got an idea for you (that might be kinda close to home)

So we know that Eddie obviously is from Indiana... let's see how he'd handle having a partner from the south. You can either do established or not, up to you. But I just wanna watch Eddie's confusion when his partner says some shit like... "grab me a buggy please" 🤭🤭

I absolutely love this ! I hope this is what you wanted <3 I love you, handsome

I'm high right now so I pray everything is written like I was sober

Different slang blurb

Eddie liked having a Southern on his arm, loving their thick drawl, and the additional attitude. But he often forgets they grew up in different places, and it showed.

~~~

"Can you grab me a buggy?" They said, eyes looking down at the grocery list. Eddie stopped walking, confused as he stared at his partner.

"Eds?" They said, realizing Eddie wasn't near them. They turned around and saw a blank stare on Eddie's face.

"A what?" He asked

"Buggy," They said, pointing to the mental carts.

"What the fuck is a buggy? You mean a cart?" Eddie spazzed, thrashing his hands toward the carts.

"A cart? No, it's a buggy." They repeated, rolling their eyes as they walked over and yanked one-off.

~~~

"And then, he fucking killed me! I didn't even know friendly fire was on!" Eddie complained, that game night at Dustin's went south. They adored how into their games Eddie could get, but this was hilarious.

"Oh bless," they said, shaking their head as they smiled. Trying to get into his complaint with him.

"Bless? I didn't sneeze!" Eddie sighed, "You aren't even listening to me!"

Y/N rolled their eyes at Eddie's small tantrum, laughing behind their hand.

~~~

"BOOM, I tripped and smacked my head into the wall!" Eddie explained, telling the story of how clumsy he was.

"Bless your heart." Y/N sighed, shaking their head as they listened to the story. Eddie wasn't sure what that meant. But he assumed they found his clumsy actions adorable.

"thank you?" He replied, a little confused still by the new phrase.

"For?" They asked, confused

"The compliment? My clumsiness was adorable and it like blessed my heart." He explained

"Oh! You're welcome!" They said, sometimes with Eddie, it was easier to go with what he believed in. He didn't need to know it was closer to an insult than a compliment. He was adorable and they adored that he thought it was a compliment.

~~~

"What do you want for a drink?" Eddie asked, grabbing spare change as he jumped out of the van, Y/N stayed in the car listening to music.

"A coke." They said, pecking Eddie's lips as he ran to their window before going inside.

Eddie walked in, and went for the pop section. His eyes searched for the cokes. Eddie quickly grabbed the red bottle and his drink. He got extra snacks and headed out.

He passed the bag over to Y/N, they placed it near their feet as Eddie settled in.

"Which coke did you grab?" They asked, curious as to what Eddie picked.

"Umm a coke, that's what you asked for. And don't tell me it wasn't. Because you said "a coke so don't try me." Eddie explained, already defensive.

"But which kind of coke?" They asked

"Regular! You didn't say you wanted a certain type." He explained, growing energized.

"You didn't ask which one I wanted!" Y/N explained, digging into the bag. Their eyes spotted a Coca-Cola.

"Baby, that's a coco-cola, I said a coke." Y/N sighed, rubbing their face in frustration.

"I literally don't hear a difference !" Eddie spazzed again.

"A coke is all the different kinds. Coca-Cola is that specific brand! To you, it might be like soda or pop?" They explained more

"A POP? A coke is a kind of pop. Not pop in general!" Eddie freaked out. He has never heard that meaning in his life.

"POP? THAT'S SO EW. ITS A COKEEEEEEE!"

[ghostfacebunni]

TF141 BRAIN ROT TF141 BRAIN ROT TF141 BRAIN ROT TF141 BRAIN ROT-

Okay LISTEN-

I'm a southerner. Got the whole accent and some slang, though I sometimes hate it and put on my northern mask to hide it. But it slips up. SO.

Southern!reader in the 141.

Southern!reader having everyone under the assumption they're from up north in the states, not the south.

Southern!reader just chilling at base, getting a cup of (whatever you drink) and dropping the cup by accident.

Southern!reader just straights up loses their northern accent, going to their southern ways and cussing up a storm.

"Son of a fucking bitch, ain't that a bunch of bullshit.", in the MOST southern accent.

You thought Philip Graves had a souther accent? Oh honey, southern!reader could DRAG him.

Everyone looks their way, faces of confusion and shock. (Besides Ghost, his face aside from his eyes are hidden under his balaclava)

So the secret is out.

No more hiding your natural accent (at least not all the time)

But if you get upset? Oh boy, the boys know better than to not use their manners.

As soon as that accent is out they're ALL trying to figure out what they did wrong and IMMEDIATELY get ready for an apology, preparing for an ear full.

Are you upset? No. You're just wanting to speak normally.

Southern!reader gets John 'I'm not a force to reckon with when I'm being serious' Price to BACK DOWN.

If Price gets in trouble, even over something as simple as smoking inside his office without the window open, he basically FOLDS when southern!reader scolds him.

That man fears one thing and one thing only, his southern soldier who can curse more than a sailor and whose attitude can go from 0 to 1000 in the blink of an eyes.😔

(My brain is charged from the brain rot and too much caffeine, take this as an offering for my PLATONIC love my baby birds, hope you have a good day/night/afternoon/evening❤️)

(AND DRINK YOUR WATER, STAY HYDRATED)

[stranger-rants]

This has been sitting in my drafts. Might as well post it now:

I'm not a big fan of Italian American Steve because it's just not believable to me. However, if there was an AU where Steve was an Italian American and not a massive WASP, this is what it would look like:

More Hairy Steve jokes. It would quickly become an exaggerated feature in fandom. Annoyingly so.

Steve may be an only child, but he's got a ridiculous amount of cousins.

The Harrington house is the gaudiest rich person house you will ever see.

Steve communicates exclusively through yelling and hand gestures. People think he’s angry. He’s not. That’s just how he talks.

His vocabulary is littered with Italian American slang. He calls the kids stunads frequently.

His household is matriarchal and his mom babies him to no end because Italian boys can do no wrong.

His mom nags him about bringing a nice girl home but then is judgmental towards every girl he has ever brought home.

There's always bread and olive oil and antipasti out on the counter when folks come over.

Uses olive oil in his hair and on his skin, too.

Steve would be painfully Catholic with religious iconography everywhere. The lack of religious iconography in his home is like #1 on my list of why I don’t believe Steve is Italian for a second and before anyone says ‘maybe they’re not religious’ that is literally not the point Italian Americans hoard religious iconography for the aesthetic.

Steve would wear a gold chain and wear a white tank under everything. No dorky polos.

Steve knows every word of Lazy Mary by Lou Monte.

Steve knows a guy who can get him designer stuff that "fell off a truck" even though his family makes more than enough money.

He's been to dozens of weddings and first communions and confirmations and he lives for the drama that unfolds at them. (My cousin came out at his confirmation lmao)

Steve folds his pizza to eat it. Also uses garlic salt on his pizza. He will not eat pineapple on pizza (sacrilege).

etc.

Source: I am an Italian American, and my Italian American extended family lives in New Jersey and New York. Our family originates in Campania.

If you're talking "Maybe Steve's mom is from Italy" or whatever, that’s fine, but Italian Americans of Southern Italian origin (making up the bulk of Italian diaspora) DO NOT function like Steve's family does in canon lmao… and being from Italy, especially in the present time, isn’t comparable to the Italian American experience.

[themememerchant]

P5R ARCANA SWAP AU IDEAS I HAD

These are all small little ideas and thoughts I have for my fanfiction Queenpin Of The Metaverse which I will hopefully be able to begin publishing on ao3 soon enough

So until then, have this moderately sized collection of random facts about the swapped thieves personalities and such

HERE WE FUCkIN GO:

Something not mentioned the original post but is important to know is that the phantom thieves are effectively a giant polycule, many of them are dating each other with Sophia being the exception-(she’s 10)

Sumire, Futaba, Haru, and Ann all trying on Makoto’s bomber jacket when they think nobody’s looking and Makoto thinking they’re adorable

Yuuki trying-(and failing)-to “rizz up” Sumire without knowing what the phrase actually means while everyone else gets 2nd-hand embarrassment

Futaba calling Sumi and Makoto her “Waifus for life-u”

Akira 100% being like Gomez Addams where he challenges the sun to a duel because Goro or Sumi got sunburned

“EN GUARDE, Mon Soleil!”

“Akira, that’s the sun-”

“EN GUARDE, I SAY!”

Yuuki pulling stupidly annoying yet harmless pranks on everyone like giving them 1,000 yen in nothing but 10 yen coins

Anytime someone tries to get a favor from Makoto she pulls out a box of pocky sticks and says: “Ya gotta play for it.”

Sumire doing weight lifting instead of gymnastics because she still wants to be fit

Makoto spots her

Yusuke giving off cat energy by getting stuck in the stupidest places and crying about it

Haru being weirdly talented with every niche thing she tries like drawing and singing

People ask how she got so good and she just shrugs innocently with legitimately zero explanation, she’s just built different

Sophia and Sumire both use age regression to cope with abuse from their respective parents and they set up playdates constantly

Futaba is Sophia’s designated caregiver

Makoto and Ann take turns being Sumi’s caregivers-(they begrugingly agreed to share custody)

TW: ALL THE STUFF ASSOSCIATED WITH KAMOSHITHEAD 

Yuuki having a “Poison” moment like Angel from Hazbin, except the song flips between him being beaten and assaulted in the P.E. office and his cognitive self coming onto Kamoshida

In reference to the above, Makoto and Yuuki having a “Loser, Baby” moment where they bond over hating Kamoshithead once Yuuki awakens

Sumire saying things like: “Everything’s jake!”, and nobody knows what the fuck she means until she needs to explain

Sumire using slang from the American 20’s is such a funny concept to me since not only is it outdated terminology, it’s also in a perfect NY American accent from a Japanese highschool girl

The thieves taking on traits from their personas in general is such a fun idea to work with

Sumire with her slang as i already said but also being enthralled by jazz music and early 20th century fashion

Goro having excellent deductive reasoning and fascination with random knowledge, he also has slight opium cravings

Makoto having inexplicable knowledge on sailing and being really good at bargaining and negotiation

Futaba emitting an aura of almost royal-like confidence that makes other students fall head over heels for her

Yuuki being a master of sneaking up on people by accident and having a really good poker-face

Sophia having a child-like curiosity over basic things like why the sky is blue and how rain works

Akira speaking in random bursts of Latin and Greek, he also begins writing poetry in his free time

Haru saying obscenities with a Southern-belle accent and being really good at working a crowd

Yusuke being followed by Paimon’s demonic parade so anyone near him will hear faint sounds of drums and trumpets when he walks

Ann suddenly becomes a master tactician who was even able to beat Goro at chess once, she also unconsciously whispers French prayers sometimes

Ryuji is a masterful pick-pocket-(Nezumi Kozo)-with great public speaking skills-(Maximilien)-, he later gets a side job with crossdressing-(Nezumi Kozo again)-

Goro and Akira having the same homoerotic tension between each other as canon but Akira is less self-assured and Goro is not a murderer but is still very threatening and intimidating

Ann has a “resting bitch face” because she has trouble expressing her emotions, so most students are too afraid to talk to her. After she joins and starts dating some of the thieves everyone just looks so confused as this gorgeous-yet-stone-faced blonde model starts hugging a red-headed cinnamon roll-(Sumi)-while looking as stoic as ever

Even better when Sumi makes comments like: ”Awww, It seems someone's in an extra good mood today!” And then Ann goes: “Thanks, I was hoping you’d notice.”

The students around them have no idea how anyone was supposed to know the blonde’s emotions, but Sumi is just built different

FUCK NOW I WANT TO MAKE A ONESHOT ABT THIS FUCK-

Yusuke and Futaba are both pretty smart people but when they try to work together they end up canceling out each other’s brain cells and becoming morons

Ann probably wears berets sometimes and the thieves poke fun at her by calling her a "French stereotype"

And that is all for now, who knows what else my diseased mind shall spit out next…

Until then, adieu all ye power tops

[makethatelevenrings]

Do you have any list of endearments that are commonly used by brits? Cause I’m no British so sometimes I just assume those are common for them.

Not an attack I’m genuinely curious, I saw some who got too offended over something so small. It’s not cool.

Languages and dialects are a side quest interest of mine so haha I’d actually love to answer this. I’m not British either. I’m American. But Americans have dialectical endearments that are common in certain regions. If someone from the PNW or New England called me “sweetheart” or “darling” outside of romantic context, I’d be swinging. But if a Southern woman called me that? I’d beam.

Brits commonly use “love, hun, sweetheart, dearie” are used in platonic instances (like a waitress asking “what do you want, hun?” but sweetheart, love, or baby could be used in a romantic sense as well. pet is common for north England, but I just think Simon would have too much beef with the idea of “a pet” to comfortably use that word.

Scouse is different from Mancunian which is different from Brummie, Welsh, Cockney, Scots, Geordie, Yorkshire, Kentish, etc. etc.

Here’s the thing I want to expand on and (this is pretentious and I know but I think paid money for this degree lmao) I’m coming at this through the critical lens of less a fanfiction writer and more of a English literature focus:

1. Try and make endearment usage feel natural to the character. “Love” makes a lot more sense than “lovie” for Simon Riley. “Pet” makes more sense for Jamie Tartt. They’re both Mancunian, both same slang, but you have to consider their personalities. Simon doesn’t feel like he’d use endearments that much tbh. He’s more likely to slip up and call you soldier or cadet.

2. Cliches are okay (there’s a reason why they’re so commonly used) but there’s also a reason why people say to refrain from them. If every single fic in the tag uses the same exact endearment…it gets old. Give your story a more authentic and natural feel by building a lore behind a nickname. Literally act out dialogues to yourself to see if it feels normal.

3. Research! As someone who edits essays and stories, it is so obvious when you don’t fact check or you make generalizations when the resources are easily available to learn this info. I’m not saying you have to become an expert on a topic or a place, but doing research for writing strengthens the material and makes it more believable. It adds richness to the detail while simultaneously opening up your horizons within the world. I love dropping little fun facts and tidbits on people that I’ve acquired through the years.

4. Less trying to write out accents, more trying to use slang or patterns of speech. I’ve opened fics where the author tries to model accents in the speech and left it virtually unreadable. “Wot” has me DYING because it just…it’s unnecessary. Listen to videos or shows with people using the accent you want to emulate and try to model off their pattern of speech.

To end, here’s some fun Mancunian slang words I’ve found that everyone should look up!

Bobbins, buzzing, Chufty badge, dead/well, get done, leg it, let on, sorted, swear down, give your head a wobble, mingin’, snide.

OH, to add, shows with a good cast with accents that are more than just “British”: Peaky Blinders, Call the Midwife, Bake Off, QI, and really just look up accents on YouTube so you can hear the difference in cadence, slang, etc.

[lunemomo]

Honestly, it’s also heartbreaking when either queer folks that I know and the queer folks that live in my podunk, ain’t-no-one-live-here town; always try and change their accent. I got a queer friend in Alabama that told me they hated deep, thick southern accents bc they make folk sound unintelligent and dimwitted. Now, I got myself a fairly thick accent. I grew up and live in East Texas, where you have more cattle ranches and agriculture than you do cars on the road. The main mode of transport is that old fella with a tractor that everyone knows from the hardware store. So, everyone has a thick a shit accent.

The queer kids and leftists in my community, and some others (especially city folk) will do anything to drop their accent, quit using southern slang and euphemisms, in an effort to appear “civilized” and “actually leftist” and y’all, that breaks my damn heart.

Granted, I used to feel that way. I tried do cover up my own accent bc my own damn peers in school would make fun of it. I attempted to talk like folk on the TV, or like folk over in Dallas and Tyler. As I grew older however, I realized how silly it was. I love my southern accent, the way I sound just like my momma, the way I can mimic Lottie’s lil southern belle accent from Princess and the Frog, the way I sound just like my grandfather who grew up on Many, Louisiana right on Toledo Bend.

The slang my grandfather used in the 50s is the slang I used that I was made fun of. I asked folks for sody waters and some sody crackers for my soup. I told my friends we outta catch a picture show at the movie house. How I needed to pick up more funny books from the book store bc I wanted to catch up on what Batman or Captain America. I even learned a phrase from a family friend in New Mexico (“Welty” to make a well worn path) that I use a ton. I say “bless your heart baby” I tell folks they cornbread ain’t done right. I use “plumb” and I’m not ashamed about it any more.

You can’t tell me that the words my family uses are unintelligent, that I sound ignorant that I ain’t really queer bc I use terms you happen to associate with the bad guys. I am a southern bitch born and raised in the middle of fuckin nowhere and I ain’t gonna change how I sound for you to take me seriously. Y’all have some grab ya a ladder and get off the damn high horse, and realize your accent ain’t what makes you smart, dumb, or conservative by proxy.

yall have got to be more normal about Southern people and I'm not kidding. enough of the Sweet Home Alabama incest jokes, enough of the idea that all Southerners are bigots and rednecks, and enough of the idea that the South has bad food. shut up about "trailer trash" and our accents and our hobbies!

do yall know how fucking nauseating it is to hear people only bring up my state to make jokes about people in poverty and incestuous relationships? how much shame I feel that I wasn't born up north like the Good Queers and Good Leftists with all the Civilised Folk with actual houses instead of small cramped trailers that have paper thin walls that I know won't protect me in a bad enough storm?

do yall know how frustrating it is to be trans in a place that wants to kill you and whenever you bring it up to people they say "well just move out" instead of sympathizing with you or offering help?

do yall understand how alienating it is to see huge masterposts of queer and mental health resources but none of them are in your state because theyre all up north? and nobody seems to want to fix this glaring issue because "they're all hicks anyways"

Southern people deserve better. we deserve to be taken seriously and given a voice in the queer community and the mental health space and leftist talks in general.

[cyarsk5230]

Bounce music is a style of New Orleans hip hop music that is said to have originated as early as the late 1980s in the city's housing projects.[1] Popular bounce artists have included DJ Jubilee, Partners-N-Crime, Magnolia Shorty and Big Freedia.

Bounce is characterized by call-and-response-style party and Mardi Gras Indian chants and dance call-outs that are frequently hypersexual and controversial. These chants and call-outs are typically rapped over the "Triggerman beat", which is sampled from the songs "Drag Rap" by the Showboys and "Brown Beats" by Cameron Paul.[2] It is important to note that the original recording sampled by Paul was "Rock the Beat" by British rapper Derek B, produced by Simon Harris and released in early 1987 on the Music of Life British Hip Hop label in the UK.[3] The sound of bounce has primarily been shaped by the recycling and imitation of the Simon Harrisproduced "Drag Rap" beat: its opening chromatic tics, the intermittent shouting of the word "break", the use of whistling as an instrumental element (as occurs in the bridge), the vocoded "drag rap" vocal and its brief and repetitive melody and quick beat (which were produced with use of synthesizers and drum machines and are easily sampled or reproduced using like-sounding elements).[4] Typical of bounce music is the "shouting out" of or acknowledgment of geographical areas, neighborhoods and housing projects, particularly of the New Orleans area.[5]

As hip-hop started to spread outward from its birthplace in the Bronx, one of the new localities that embraced and advanced the genre was New Orleans. Local producers and record label owners with past success in other black genres tried their hand at hip-hop, but soon a new generation got involved. Kevin "MC T. Tucker" Ventry, one of the first bounce artists, captured the attention of the city in 1991 with his style of rap "defined by a preference for chanted refrains... and the use of several core samples to form the backing music",[6] two characteristics that came to signify bounce music. Take Fo' Records was the first record label to specialize in Bounce music. Take Fo’ launched the careers of several bounce artists, such as DJ Jubilee, Choppa, Baby Boy da Prince, 5th Ward Weebie, Katey Red, and Big Freedia. Other early bounce artists included DJ Jimi, Partners-N-Crime, Hot Boy Ronald, Juvenile, U.N.L.V. and Magnolia Shorty up until her death. The subgenre flourished in the city without much national recognition, but soon New Orleans’ artists would take over the country. In the second half of the 1990s, No Limit Records and Cash Money Records, led by Master P, Beats by the Pound and Birdman, Mannie Fresh respectively, took over. Those artists, while based in bounce music, certainly saw their ties to the art form “become progressively more tenuous as their national exposure and wealth increased.”[6]

Edit

Dancers performing at Creole Festival Mardi Gras Parade in 2017

The genre maintains widespread popularity in New Orleans (the "Bounce capital of the world"), and the southern United States and has a more limited following outside the Deep South. New Orleans' music has a long tradition of gay and cross-dressing performers as truly a part of musical culture, giving bounce music a significant degree of overlap with LGBT hip hop.[7][8]

Bounce, like crunk, Miami bass, Baltimore cluband Juke music, is a highly regional form of urban dance music, which has nevertheless influenced a variety of other rap subgenres and even emerged in the mainstream. Atlanta's crunk artists, such as Lil' Jon and the Ying Yang Twins, frequently incorporate bounce chants into their music (such as "Shake It Like A Salt Shaker") and slang (such as "twerk"). Mississippi native David Banner's hit "Like A Pimp" is constructed around a screwed upsample of the "Triggerman" beat.[9] The mixtapes of Three 6 Mafia's DJ Paul also prominently feature traditional bounce sampling. DJ Paul, a native of Memphis, TN, has, in fact, been one of the most prominent purveyors of bounce outside Louisiana, having incorporated its features into tracks produced for La Chat, Gangsta Boo and his own group, Three 6 Mafia.[10] Another significant mainstream record influenced by bounce music was Beyoncé's 2007 release "Get Me Bodied",[11] and more recently, "Formation". Other artists outside of the New Orleans area, such as: Mike Jones, Keezy Kilo, Hurricane Chris, Ying Yang Twins, Khia, City Girls, Big Unk, and Drake have also used elements of bounce in their music.Crowd members participating and enjoying bounce music with American artist Big Freedia

In 2009, John and Glenda "Goldie" Robert created, produced, and directed a TV show titled It's All Good In The Hood that spotlighted New Orleans Bounce music artists, including Big Freedia, 5th Ward Weebie, Vockah Redu, Choppa, and many more. John and Glenda Robert later co-produced the bounce documentary "Ya Heard Me" and wrote the book "Bounce Baby Bounce Bounce Bounce".

In 2010, the Ogden Museum of Southern Art in New Orleans featured an exhibition entitled "Where They At: New Orleans Hip-Hop and Bounce in Words and Pictures", examining bounce's origins, development, and influence.[11]

Bounce music plays a major role in the second season of HBO drama Tremé, which was broadcast in 2011 and is set in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The season's second episode, "Everything I Do Gonh Be Funky", features a performance by bounce artists Big Freedia and Sissy Nobby.[12]Bounce music, which had long been a staple in the city, also enjoyed a resurgence in popularity in Houston after Hurricane Katrina.[13]

[imdoingwhateverisnext]

Random Crap

I suppose this one is finished... until I think of more random crap, then I will have to start a new document and come up with a different name for it, or I can just add it here and keep it going. I will cross that bridge when I get there.

_____________________________________________________

Here's a tip: If HE says, "just the tip"...it is probably a lie.

_________________________________________________

Someone broke into my car to hang a Bob Ross air freshener. That is all. I feel mildly violated but somewhat amused at the banality of the offense. Hey you, next time you break into my car, why don't you clean it up a little bit. Why not make a place better than how you found it? AND make a girl smile, that girl would be me.

_____________________________________________

Yesterday I cut myself with safety scissors. I really did. I took this as a sign that I needn't worry about hurting myself, because not matter how safe I try to make my life, there is still a chance I will get hurt. In the meantime, being too safe can be boring as hell.

________________________________________

The manicurist hurt my finger, I flinched and said, "ow", then I apologized to her. I thought about it for a minute, then I pointed out, "You just hurt me and I apologized to you! What is wrong with me?!"

"I don't know!" We both began laughing and philosophizing over society, culture and men versus women's roles today as opposed to 50 years ago. We even touched on the difference between American culture roles and Vietnam (where she is from). The nail salon conversation suddenly got deep. It was really just nice to talk to a human in face to face mode.

_____________________________________________

If I met God in human form and he said, "Ask me anything".

One thing I would ask would be, "What were you thinking when you made those frogs with holes in their backs filled with frog babies? Were you trying to scare us? Or did it sound good on paper but the visual aesthetics had not been considered before it was put into action?" I certainly hope it is the latter or I have to rethink this whole benevolent man in the sky thing.

If you haven't seen these things, look them up online, Surinam (sp?) toad childbirth (trigger warning ahead of time). It is one of the most horrifying sights I have ever seen (with the exception of the spider that carries all of it's babies on its writhing abdomen).

That is some Dr Frankenstein stuff there! Yeesh! Frog bacne filled with frog babies. It is so gross! I am feeling my skin crawl just typing this.

________________________________________________________

As a palate cleanser, I would like to include this image of a Shoe Bill. It is one of my favorites. They are some of the most majestic birds in the world. He looks truly prehistoric and as always, he is smiling!

_____________________________________________________

Sentaderas and Pagina

Two words. One sounds kind of dirty. One sounds kind of boring. Then you translate them into English and realize you probably mixed up which word you thought sounded risque.

The moral of this story is something about a book and it's cover but in this case it is don't judge a Spanish word by it's phonetic tone. It could still be dirty, or clean.

______________________________________________________

The Riot Act

I literally read this out loud the other day. I had to look it up to see what it was actually about. It is a British legal document from 1714 which allowed authorities to declare any assembly of 12 or more people as unlawful and force them to disburse.

I just found this interesting. I have heard all of my life about someone getting read the 'riot act', but until I looked it up, I never knew it was a real thing. I just thought it was something my grandma used to say which translated as (I gave him a good stern talking to, a cussing, or a hollering-Southern slang).

________________________________________________________

I am not sure if this story is about Southern slang or a bad segue, but it was repeated so much in my family, I feel like I was there to witness it.

My aunt would come home from Kindergarten and First grade and report what she had received each day. Like, today she got, 'two shookins', and 'one standin' in the corner'. Each day was different with the number of standin' in the corners and shookins she got. Maybe teachers were rough back then, or maybe she was just a bratty child. In my humble opinion, I believe both are true.

[starship-buccaneer]

This made me think of a fic where Wolfman and Hollywood are the only two flyboys left without kids because being the cool uncles is fun enough and it's not like a kid's going to just fall in their lap (terrible circumstances not withstanding) like Bradley did for Maverick and Iceman. Then Mav adopts the daggers, and the flyboys all love them, of course, but Wolfman gets to talking with Jake about their similar upbringings and how both of their families shunned them after coming out, and suddenly he realizes that he and Woody can be the family Jake needs.

Obviously, Iceman and Maverick have already staked their claim on him too, but if Jake and Bradley didn't work out, god forbid, then who was going to be looking after Jake? Besides, there was no way Mav or Ice had the right sensibilities for cowboy boot shopping that a proper Texan needed in a father figure.

Now, Wolfman just had to convince the three people who could bar him from adopting the other southerner: Hollywood, Iceman, and Maverick.

Also maybe Bradley, but he had leverage on Baby Goose, so he wasn't too worried.

First step, convince his husband.

"Hey handsome, uh, you know how we never did have kids, on account of us not having the pipes for it?"

"Uh huh." Woody has stopped chopping carrots and is looking at him with a single, discerning eyebrow raised.

"Well, I know it's a little late, but-"

"You want to adopt Hangman."

"I know he's a helluva lot like Mav, but-"

"He reminds you of yourself, and it'd give you a chance to buy more cowboy hats."

"PLUS we'd get Baby Goose as a son-in-law!" Wolfman gives Hollywood his most winning smile. "And he's already an adult, so we don't have to go through any of the teenage shit all the other flyboys did! And I know we've always happily been the fun uncles, but"

"Alright." Hollywood nodded with a smirk.

"-have you seen his hair? He's definitely just as into haircare as you are, so it's not like I'd be the only one bonding with him. And he's got-"

"Yeah." Hollywood's smirk turned into a grin.

"Two air to air kills! We can rub it in all the other flyboys faces that our son is a badass-"

Hollywood lays a hand on Wolfman's cheek. "Wolfy, baby, I'm saying yes. Let's take Jake under our wing."

The grin Hollywood got from his husband was worth the ridiculous amount of Texan slang he could already envision in his future.

Next Wolfman needed to convince Ice because Jake looked at the Iceman with stars in his eyes, and Wolfman knew he was going to need the ex-COMPACTFLT in his corner anyways if he wanted this to work.

"Ice Ice Baby." Wolfman grins.

"Dogman." Iceman glares.

"I want to adopt Jake."

"Okay."

"Can I count on your support?"

"Are you campaigning?"

"In a manner of speaking. Maverick's pretty attached, so I figured I'd need a real ace up my sleeve."

"Mav's the ace actually."

"Ha. Ha. So?"

"I'll consider it."

"Kazansky."

"Yes?"

"Please."

"Never call me Ice Ice Baby again, and I'll warm Mav up to the idea."

"Deal!"

"I've gotta warn you, though. Jake is currently the only person who calls Mav "Pops" and he's stupidly possessive over it. That's why Jake calls me Icedad now because Mav refuses to share the title."

"That's alright, Jake can call me Dad and Woody Mom for all I care."

Ice let out a quiet huff of a laugh and whispered to himself, "More like the other way around."

"What?"

"What?"

". . . Pleasure doing business with you, Admiral."

"Good luck."

Finally, it was time to talk to Maverick. And, admittedly, Wolfman was a little intimidated. Most would assume Iceman was the more formidable opponent, and most would be dead spanking wrong.

"No."

"Aw, come on Mav!"

"Sorry Wolfman, Jake's already part of the Mitchell-Kazansky household."

"What about Bradley? What's gonna happen when they fight?"

"I'll listen when they complain and do my best to support the both of them."

"And what's gonna happen if Jake and Bradley break up?"

"Ice and I will covertly conspire to get them back together. Have you met them? They're it for each other. "

"Yeah, obviously, but in the meantime?"

At that, Mav pauses. ". . . It'd be complicated."

"Exactly. I'm not saying he can't be part of your family, but Jake also deserves a family of his own, Mav. He deserves what Bradley's found in you and Iceman."

"So this isn't just about how much I fucked up with Brad?"

"Mav, shit. No, of course it isn't. Honestly, I don't know what I'd've done if I'd been in your shoes. I know Slider ranted and raved when it all went down, but I hope you know that all of us, even Slider, knew how complicated of a situation it was, and none of us hold it against you Especially not now that you've all gotten your shit together and Bradley's back for good."

"Thanks Wolfman"

"Anytime Maverick."

". . ."

". . ."

". . . Okay. Fine. You can adopt Jake."

"Yee haw!"

"And I already regret it."

"Hey Baby Goose!"

"Hey Uncle Wolf, Mav told me you're trying to adopt my boyfriend."

"Well, see, the thing about that is, um."

"I approve."

"Oh great, I didn't even have to use my leverage."

"What leverage?"

"1993."

"Say less. And if you ever tell Jake about that, I will set all of your cowboy hats on fire and cut up your bolo ties."

"Damn Baby Goose, you been talking to my husband?"

"Nope, it's just the same threat I use on Jake."

"Jake's got bolo ties? Can the kid get any more perfect?"

"I don't think so, but enough about Jake's terrible fashion choices."

"That's rich coming from you."

"Uncle Wolf, Jake's had it pretty rough where family is concerned," Bradley said seriously.

"I know Baby Goose," Wolfman replied with none of hid previous humor, "I don't know everything, but we did spend about five hours at last week's barbecue getting to know each other and by the end of the night, we were both talking about our shitty old men. I know he's got a lot of pain he's carrying around on his shoulders, and he reminds me of my younger self so much it kind of hurts. I told Maverick this during our conversation yesterday, but Jake deserves what you have with Iceman and Mav. He deserves a loving family. I know Woody and I have always been the fun uncles and that we never did plan on having kids, but when I look at Jake, I just can't help but think that Woody and I could be good for him."

"It's probably not going to be easy."

"Family never is."

"No, no it's not. But it's worth it."

"Yeah, yeah it is."

". . . Please don't buy him more cowboy hats."

"Too late."

OK, so we in the Top Gun/Top Gun: Maverick have discussed and explored (in au format or canonical) Hangman’s father-son(mostly in-law) relationships with Iceman and Maverick.

But have we considered….Hangman and Wolfman.

THINK ABOUT IT - Wolfman meets Hangman at an Icemav barbecue. Wolfman knows he’s Rooster’s boyfriend, finds out he’s a southern boy from Texas, much like himself.(”You got a cowboy hat?” “Yes sir, I am from Texas, after all.” “Good answer, kid. I like you…”)

Then later on, while asking more about this intriguing kid that he’s come to like and identifies with a bit, he finds out from Maverick and Rooster that ever since he came out, Hangman doesn’t really have much of a relationship with his conservative, straight-laced, father anymore.

So Wolfman dials Ice’s number like his fingers are on fire.

“I’LL TAKE HIM! Can I keep him? Can-I-Can-I-Can-I-Can-I…?!!!”

“Why’re you asking me? Ask Maverick.”

“Fine, give Maverick the phone!”

“Y’know, it’s 2am - “

“ - Ice, come on!”

Ice grumbles and Wolfman can hear him saying something to Maverick, who then comes on the phone.

“…Alright, he’s yours.”

“YESSS!”