#got sick last time i was up north so meh

[hoelko]

If you still want to do the asks: 14, 56, 82 & 83

Always ^_^14. Piercings i want:None. I’m fine with not having metal in me.

56. Have you ever made a snow angel?Having family from Canada and the like 2 times it’s snowed down south, yes

82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?Probably? I know i’ve had dreams of an s/o and weddings, but I couldn’t remember if I was the one at the altar83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?I’ve done the thing you do in grade school where you put stick glue on your fingers, and you squeeze them together so they’ll stick to each other

Get up in my business plz

[craftypeaceturtle]

Bewitching

Summary: Roman and his trusted friend, Logan, embark on a journey to visit their local witch. 

Note: I was inspired by a post that described this like exact concept. This is just a small fic that struck me! I have no idea why I am only capable of writing rare pair fics but hey ho! At least I’m writing. Analogical and Royality. 

.

“Do you even understand where we’re supposed to be going?” Logan muttered as he tried to massage away his upcoming headache. Unfortunately his headache bounded into his side with a wide smirk. 

“Of course! It’s only a simple path through Sanders Woods,” Roman announced as he continued marching through the castle with proud wide steps.

“Do I even need to deconstruct how vague those directions truly are?” 

“Pfft! I’m not an idiot Logan. I do have a map. You just follow through the main path through Sanders Woods but then at some specific stump or something stupid, you turn and then boom! Witches!” Roman wiggled the paper in his face but even that movement didn’t hide that it was just some rushed notes on a napkin from his father. It looked like just simple lines and labels. There wasn’t even an compass pointing north! 

“Ah I stand corrected then, your majesty. Truly you must be a true scholar in the geologies,” Logan sighed and Roman checked his shoulder.  

They were being sent on the incredibly (vague, according to Logan) journey to go track down the kingdom’s local witch to re-establish their trade. A journey that sounded very important and essential so when Logan first heard it, of course he immediately offered his service. The warning sign should have been that Roman was conducting the journey. Another warning sign (as there were many), was the fact that to re-establish their trade, they were trading a kitten and were expecting to get cookies in return. It all painted the very obvious picture that the king wanted his son to do his chores and so asked his friend to ensure the task got done. But then again, Logan prided himself as a man of honour and he wouldn’t refuse to conduct on this journey. He was nobler than this pettiness. He was more serious than any one of the royal family members. He would take great pride in this stupid task.

“Logan!” Roman shouted, Logan whipped round to face him, “Do you mind leaving the kitten alone for at least one second and help me pick out an outfit?”

“Pick an outfit?” Logan squealed indignantly, ignoring his own burning blush as he followed Roman into his room, leaving the poor mewing kitten to sprawl around its basket, “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”

He was wearing his typical outfit which was his full princely attire. A pristine white tunic with gold embellishments that all highlighted the strong red of the emblem on his sleeves. He would usually wear a bright red sash across his chest but instead he was flinging it about like a child first trying to learn ballet. But now he blushed bright enough to match the emblem. “We’re meeting new people. Of course a prince should always present their best foot forward.”

“Oh all princes?”

“Okay, don’t pretend that’s fair! We all know that Remus is an octopus dressed as a prince. He shouldn’t be considered along with all other princes!” 

“An octopus?” Logan chuckled.

“Dad got at me for constantly calling him a rat so I’m calling him an octopus. Just as ugly but this time dad thinks it’s just some weird nickname,” Roman said way too proudly for someone who was in his twenties and definitely above sibling squabbles. Then again this was indeed Roman. 

“Ah, you are just so charming and intelligent, your majesty,” Logan smirked before he also bumped their shoulders, “But don’t think that will distract me. Please promise me that you will not flirt with the witch.”

“It’s not flirting! It’s called being friendly, not that you would know that Intronerd!” 

“It’s definitely flirting. And it definitely taints any and all official communication. Do I even need to retell the event with Janus?”

“Right! I’m all ready to go, are you?” Roman bellowed, rushing past him with a satchel of bare essentials. Logan simply sighed and carefully cradled the basket with the kitten. 

It was just after midday and they were finally on their way, the guards around the castle grounds waved with barely hidden laughs. Roman frowned at them and clutched Logan to his side. He was well aware of his reputation around the castle. Foolish and way too optimistic. It stung each time but then Roman knew himself better than any guard could. Plus he could always sick Remus on them! But he also knew Logan was quickly getting mixed in with that reputation. A truly genuine travesty to this world. Logan was a bold, determined and so quietly compassionate but he was only regarded as dumb and easily flustered. And Roman could get it! Like yeah, seeing this emotionless guy walk out of the grounds cradling a kitten was funny, but he knew Logan well enough to laugh at how lovey he was really. They just laughed at the ditzy dumb consort who pretended to be cold and collected. Yet Logan always remained oblivious and Roman would risk his life to ensure it would remain that way. 

He wished he could say it was a beautiful summer’s morn with the birds chirping their victory as they headed into the deep mysterious forest. But instead the sky was a striking grey with a wind that was just the wrong side of cold. Reports stated it would rain in the afternoon and he was unfortunately momentarily defeated by the allure of sleeping in so he couldn’t leave early enough. Meh, he was pretty sure Logan appreciated the extra hours to sit around doing nothing! He waved the famous royal wave to a bunch of children who scattered at their approach with amazed giggles while Logan did his usual Logan thing of keeping his eyes forward and walking away before they could talk. Perhaps it was for the best, they had to focus. 

Well... ‘focus’. The journey was important and all but also this tiny little ginger kitten snuggling into Logan’s muscly bulky arms was very distracting. 

The path into the woods was very simple. It was a worn away path in the grass that become wider and wider each time he saw it. It was pretty much a very wonky lane straight through the forest and the map clearly presented an equally wonky line to a blackened tree stump that “they could not miss”. Then turn left and, as he eloquently put it, boom! Witch. In all honesty, the journey was the very last thing on his mind currently. Sanders Woods was big but it was so close to the kingdom that there was never anything too dangerous in there- people travelled through it every day. But, Roman prided himself on his studies into the kingdom’s history and all the fables and stories that it inspired. It didn’t take a genius to know that witches meant trouble. Witches cursed and violently lashed out at any hero that came their way. 

He stared up at Logan out of the corner of his eye. Logan looked the part certainly with his official royal uniform and he was fairly built. But Roman also knew Logan. While he could look intimidating, he was anything but. At the first sign of conflict he would freeze, and even if he didn’t, he was in no way trained for battle. He looked built but his muscle purely came from grabbing heavy books from high shelves. He wouldn’t last a second against a witch in a physical battle.

“How have your studies been going?” Roman innocently asked innocently.

“As expected, why?”

“What do you mean why! I can be interested in your studies! What are you learning about now? It was magic right?” Roman kept his focus on his light marching steps. Logan huffed a chuckle.

“Magic is such a broad term I don’t even know how to go about correcting you. Yes, I have largely been studying magic. It is...” Logan scrunched his face up, “going, to put realistically. I’m struggling to fully grip the module I am currently on. But overall, my study of magic is going better than I first thought. How are your studies? Are you studying anything right now?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Not really. I finished the whole economics junk and I have a bit of a break before I launch back into studies. Trying to make the most of it,” Roman answered honestly but he kept his gaze straight ahead, “Anyway, what kind of magic are you doing? Like any... cool spells?” 

“Cool... spells...” Logan said, stopping completely in his path, “Why are you so interested?”

“As I said! I can be interested in what my friend is doing!” 

“You haven’t ever before taken interest in my, how did you put it, ‘nerdy junk’!” 

“Well!” Roman snarked back but he could feel Logan looking right through him, “It’s just important to know what kind of magic you can do. Just in case we ever n-”

“You think this is dangerous don’t you!” Logan gasped, feeling panic slam into his chest. 

“What?” Roman nervously laughed off, “No...”

“You do!” Logan dramatically pointed at him, “Oh we don’t have nearly the right supplies for any kind of conflict! We’re carrying around a cat!” 

“It won’t be dangerous!” Roman tried to soothe while panickily pacing. 

“I asked you! I asked you! I asked and you said that it was a simple trade. That we are practically just acting as postmen!” Logan threw his head back. 

“I’m sorry!” Roman gasped.

“You’ve got your sword. Plus, I really don’t think your dad would send us on some dangerous journey without at least some back up. I think you just got into your head with worry. There’s lots of rumours about witches despite those spreading them having never met a witch, we should be fine,” Logan answered softly. There was no use having them both panicking when they were already significantly through the woods. But then again maybe they could turn back now before they truly prove themselves to be idiots. 

“Yeah!” Roman lit up and snapped up straight with an obnoxious smile, “C’mon, we’ll be fine!”

Logan simply ran through his warning signs he listed earlier about how this task was a stupid chore. His hand found the kitten’s fuzzy little forehead and he gave some scritches before following in Roman’s footsteps. 

It was another hour where each minute felt more and more uncomfortable. They were a decent way through the woods but they had yet to see anything resembling a tree stump. Even Roman was now flicking his gaze behind him, checking to see if they had perhaps passed it without realising. Logan was practically chanting about how King Thomas wouldn’t send his idiot of a son on a difficult journey without a proper map. But then again both of his sons were idiots so maybe he just chose Roman as the lesser of two evils? Maybe the wobbly scrawled line on the map was just longer than expected. This was why people added scales and a compass! Eventually they paused at a blackened tree. They didn’t even talk or notice the other had paused as well. 

“Maybe by stump they more meant a stumpy tree?” Roman cautiously looked around. 

“Did your father not describe it any more than that?” Logan asked, still not convinced.

“I mean he even drew it in black!” Roman yelled out in what was supposed to be confidence. Logan winced as Roman marched slowly forward into the treeline.

“That cannot be where the line is. That map should never be considered as accurate or, or- just slow down Roman. We have no idea if this is the right direction!”

“Yeah well, we literally just go left into the trees. If it turns out to be wrong then we know which direction we went and just go back.”

Logan sighed at the legitimate logic the illogical prince presented, “It’s going to rain soon.”

“Well hurry up then!” Roman had already started running into the woods and Logan grumbled out some swears before reluctantly trudging after him. 

Now underneath the thick canopy of the woods, it was quite dark and moody. Roman tried to lighten the mood by pointing out every single squirrel that skittered away when they passed but even that didn’t fix the tension. The ideas of danger were swirling uncomfortably through them. The kitten was now restless and was mewing very pathetically. Logan winced at each quiet mew and Roman knew that it was a matter of seconds before Logan demand they go back and get the kitten to safety. And he was about to agree until he saw a tiny mushroom on a tree.

It softly glowed, and if that wasn’t a strong enough indicator of magic and witches, it was illuminous purple. It almost seemed transparent as black smoke billowed underneath it’s surface but it still somehow glowed brightly. 

“Logan, I think we’re almost there,” Roman muttered and tugged him forward.

“Roman.” Logan stopped them dead in the path. He was shifting and looking away but his back was straight and his posture screamed listen. Roman, of course, stopped in his tracks. “What if they use the cat... like... what if they kill the cat?”

Roman paused. That... would be very in character for witches. The kitten was frumpily stomping around and of course released an adorable mew as if it very well knew they were talking about it. “We’ve got to establish trade routes... Maybe we could be the ones to persuade them to see the light and understand cuteness and love for all living things!”

“Hmm.” Logan took the lead and stepped forward. 

They had walked for another ten minutes but yet the woods felt unrecognisable. The woods went from very stereotypical brown and green woods that seemed to stretch onwards forever. Now the mushrooms were everywhere and they couldn’t see the trunks of the trees anymore. The forest was filled with an overwhelming nauseating swirls of colours. Now they were seeing flashes of deer and groans from toads under their feet. The sun was completely blocked from the trees and it was almost like walking inside a building. 

It wasn’t long until they stumbled finally into a cottage looking house. A thatched roof and everything. It almost blended in, blackened charred wood with no windows or even sign of anyone living there. Dead leaves were still swamped up again its sides like it was still autumn. Logan cradled the kitten tighter and Roman couldn’t exactly blame him. 

It seemed straight out of a storybook. 

When the main characters stumble into the villain’s lair. 

Roman gulped and latched on arm on to Logan’s shoulder, which Logan happily sank into. They approached the door in timid steps. The wind harshly ripped through the forest, whipping around the wet clumps of leaves around the sunken door. The rain finally arrived and a few drops pattered on the ceiling of leaves. Logan stuttered in his steps but Roman winced and guided him forward. 

As they were a few metres from the door, it slammed open. 

“AAAH!” They both shrieked. 

A witch stood there... kinda proudly. He had a wide stance and the hood hid his face. But also his arms were crossed and he was hunched over to look extra small. He probably reached Roman’s shoulder standing straight... he looked like the wind around his house would knock him over. But also the billowing black cloak and clenched fists also spoke for themselves. “What are you doing here!” A whiny voice broke through their panic. 

Logan was clearly frozen and his mind only screaming about the kitten in his arms. It took a few moments for Roman to realise he wasn’t going to snap out and talk. He stuttered out, “Oh ah... hello there. We are fr- We come from the kingdom of Sanders to present a trading opportunity. I understand you have been in discussion with our king to re-establish our long ancient trading with you, Witch.”

The witch frowned, “Oh I’m not a witch. That’s Patton you’re looking for.”

He pointed over his shoulder to a cottage past his house. Now this looked like the idyllic cottage countryside house. Thatched roof, pristine pastel pink house and a beautiful neat line of wild bluebells. Roman found himself drawing near it without realising. It looked beautiful and the house straight out of his dreams. “Oh sorry sir! C’mon Logan, we’ll sort this out!” Roman tugged his arm but Logan remained statue still. “Uh, Logan?”

Logan was completely trapped under the gaze of the random civilian that stumbled into.  His chest glowed along with his bright red face. The man had very strong features and was clearly much more awkward than anything dangerous. It took a minute before he realised that words were needed if he was just going to stare, “Oh H-hi, I’m Lo...” He winced but tried to battle through, “Y-you’re not a witch?”

“Nah, I’m... I guess you’d call it emo and just hate people,” The guy awkwardly chuckled as he stepped out from his doorway. Logan allowed himself to smile and only just remembered Roman’s advice to puff out his chest and show himself off. Right, time to sweep this handsome man off his feet. 

“Ah I understand that sentiment. People can be so frustrating and exhausting.” The man walked forward before he awkwardly looked away.

“Uh can I?” The man asked with his hand out stretched towards his chest. Logan burst into a childish smile. Maybe Roman was right and he is handsome! All that heavy book lifting did pay off if cute emos then wanted to feel up his chest! Maybe he can sweep someone off their feet. Maybe he should work out more!

“Sure!” He squeaked.

The man smiled in thanks before grabbing the kitten from his arms and pressing loud sappy kissies to his fuzzy little forehead. His croaky foreboding voice snapped to a squealing happy coo. 

Roman laughed at how ridiculous he was and went down to the next house. He’s never seen Logan so useless! He was never going to let me live this down- after all that teasing he’s been putting up with for flirting with Janus. Now he had some fuel to fight back. 

He knocked on the door with a new found confidence as the rain finally started to slip through the leaves and actually start to slowly soak him. Humming to himself, he looked back at Logan still failing to flirt with the random scary guy. He’d never be that useless. The door opened, “Hello there. Are you the witch that lives in these wooooo-”

A young man opened the door with a cheery smile, ginger curls flying about his head with wire frame glasses. Freckles absolutely everywhere. He was a little taller than even him! He was of course wearing a pink frilly apron with a blue soft chunky knit jumper. Everything about him looked soft. “Oh hello there. What’s your name!” 

“Uhhhhhhh... Ro?” Roman awkwardly drawled out while trying to pick his jaw off the floor. He looked back at Logan who was now walking over with the other man. 

“Hey Pat. We need a talk.” He growled out while Patton awkwardly laughed. Instinctually, Roman stepped forward to protect this marshmallow from this emo. 

“Y-yeah Virge?”

“Did you really organise for the king to sneak you a kitten?”

“Maaaybe!” Patton squeaked before launching forward and spinning him in tight excited circles. Logan was now carrying the kitten, he looked very confused and flustered as he kept his gaze firmly on the kitten. 

“Don’t distract me! You’re allergic!”

“Well are you going to make these nice young men walk all the way back with the heavy basket and wiggly little itty bitty kitty!” 

The man, Virgil, frowned with a look. “Okay. I will take the kitten and you can have visiting rights. But! Those visiting rights can be revoked at any time!” 

“Yippee!” Patton laughed with all of himself. His arms flailing into a hug for himself, his belly bursting and moving with the genuine happy laughter. Roman was thoroughly star struck. 

“Can’t believe you’re the witch of us...” Virgil groaned with his own fond smile, to which Logan was also star struck. 

They both paused as a fat raindrop slapped against Patton’s forehead. The rain must have been truly heavy if it was still dripping through the thick canopy. They turned and faced the two men and only now noticed that they were fairly wet with their hair plastered against their foreheads. They did look pretty pathetic.

Patton smiled, “Hey, Ro was it? Would you like to come in? Just to wait for the rain. Sorry, uhh,”

“Logan,” Logan introduced.

“Logan, the house is fairly small but I’m sure Virgil would love to show you around his little place!” Patton smirked innocently. 

All three of them gulped with bright blushes... but of course they all nodded along to that plan.

[minervacasterly]

First Protestant King of England, Henry VIII or Edward VI? (And why Edward VI's reign was no less important than his father's)

It is important to dispell myths about the most popular English dynasty, so I decided to briefly take on this topic. A common misconception until recent decades is that Henry VIII was the first Protestant King. In reality, it was his son who was the first true Protestant King of England. I’ve written about this before on my blog, building upon the research by great scholars like Chris Skidmore, Loach, and the short introduction to his reign by Kyra Cornelius Kramer. Besides taking after his father in intellect, Edward VI was fairly concerned with the state of the church of England but unlike his old man, he thought that the time had come to make it into the first true Protestant church of England, agreeing to the issuing of the book of common prayer and a revision of it two years later. Edward VI also frowned upon improper clothing. He loved to dance and watch sports, but didn’t think t0 was a good idea to indulge in these frivolities since the Evangelicals believed that this was a gateway to moral decay. (Don’t you just love those who interpret the will of god so good, that they conveniently forget about the passages where their savior rails against the rich and so on?) Edward’s actions had consequences and these, like the contributions of his reign, are often brushed aside in favor of his more famous father and sisters. One of them, was a rebellion in the North and his half-sister’s resistance to his new laws that forbade people to hear the Mass and forced the new English service on everyone. Long story short … lots of people hung, punished and lots of enemies that his councilors (who as always since people couldn’t point fingers at the king unless they had a sick death wish of some sort) were blamed and were punished for during his half-sister’s reign. Some of you might be pointing out that since Henry VIII was excommunicated and labeled a heretic by most of Christendom, that technically he was a Protestant king but no, seriously, he wasn’t. Henry was, despite these labels, still a practicing Catholic. He agreed to Gardiner’s articles of faith that criticized the church and validated his claim as supreme head of the Anglican Church, and God’s representative on Earth, and surrounded himself by obvious Reformists, but other than that, he forcefully kept everyone in line. Catholics who practiced the Mass or adhered to his new rules while still being loyal to their beliefs were tolerated, but if they pulled a ‘Thomas More’ where they denied the king’s supremacy or insulted one of his beloved wives (before he got tired of them, that is) then yes, off to the block with them!

As for Protestants … Ever heard of Anne Askew? She defended Henry’s actions, she thought he was some kind of Moses as his last wife -Kathryn Parr whom she was closely associated with- would paint him as in her two books (primarily in ‘Lamentations of a Sinner’) and then she defied her husband and Henry’s establishment, pushing for a more Evangelist agenda, and what happened? Oh nothing big … she just got tortured and then burned. As long as you played Henry’s sycophant you were fine. There is also a spiritual aspect that ties into his megalomania. As Henry became more obsessed with securing his dynasty, his focus on spiritual matters also grew. By the end of his reign, nobody could predict what the king would say or how he would act so everyone walked a fine line when they discussed important subjects. Kathryn Parr is one of them who learned this lesson early on during their marriage. If it weren’t for gentleness, and the friendship she established among prominent ladies in her household, her accusers would’ve succeeded in convincing Henry VIII that she was a heretic. She would’ve had a sham trial like Anne Boleyn and then beheaded or worse, burned like Anne Aske. Luckily for Kathryn Parr, she was one step ahead of them. Humbling herself before her lord and husband, she told him that she never intended to change his religious views but just challenged him as people did at the beginning of his reign, so he could stir her towards the right path since she was a woman and these things were too complicated for her to fathom, let alone choose on her own. She lived and continued to be a major influence on future Protestant leaders, such as Jane Grey, Elizabeth I and of course, Edward VI.

Edward VI was greatly influenced by his beloved stepmother’s religiosity and mourned her deeply. He referred to her as his mother. Kathryn encouraged his passion for books and aided his Protestant tutors in stirring him towards their faith, ensuring that he’d become the king they’d all be waiting for, that would transform England into a fully Protestant nation.

It was Edward who began to force religious codes on his people in a way that hadn’t been done before. His father cracked on religious houses on the basis of cleansing them from corruption and because of their disloyalty, and open defiance against his supremacy; but Edward made things worse. The monasteries that were sold to his father’s noblemen left many people begging on the streets while forcing others to adapt to their new environment. When people could no longer handle it, they rose up in open rebellion and like in his father’s time, these were brutally squashed. But here is where it gets interesting … Whereas Henry VIII is blamed for all the evils of his reign, Edward VI is not and the reason for this? He was a kid, don’t be so mean. Leave the poor tot alone. Fact: Edward VI died at the age of fifteen and by renaissance standards, he was not a little boy anymore. Even if he hadn’t come of age, he was not an innocent boy anymore who was oblivious to the world around him. In fact. When Edward VI found out that his uncle had been executed, he was like ‘meh … okay’. And sure, Thomas Seymour was a brash individual who thought he could get away with everything but even after he tried to kidnap his nephew, to act in such a manner and for an uncle who was married to your favorite stepmother and someone you claimed to be your favorite relative, that’s pretty cold. But it gets better. After Edward VI finally got rid of his tedious uncle and his irritating set of rules, Edward wrote in his diary (showing no emotion at all) that the former lord Protector died and that was that. Getting rid of Edward Seymour probably made the little critter sigh in relief because out of all his uncles, the Lord Protector was the one who always reminded him of his duties and responsibilities, not to mention all those rules and not letting him be king! How unfair! And then there was also that issue about the rebellions. Edward VI saw these people as traitors and agreed with Northumberland that they should be dealt with immediately but his uncle didn’t think that was wise, which was why people called him the ‘good Duke’ because they saw him as a friend of the people. Now that he was out of the way, his kingdom would not have to suffer any more dissenting voices, nor any threats of isolation or future skirmishes with Scotland. Edward VI was fully committed to the Protestant cause but convinced by Northumberland, he realized that he would not go far if he did not have any allies. And the whole campaign in Scotland had gone awfully wrong and with Mary, Queen of Scots in France, the only way to neutralize that threat was making an alliance with that country, betrothing him to Henri II and Catherine de Medici’s daughter, Elizabeth Valois. Sadly, Edward VI did not live to marry her or do more for the Evangelicals. He died and before he did, he wrote a paper called “my device for the succession” which became the basis to disinherit his sisters in favor of their cousin, Jane Grey. That opened a can of worms that could have easily escalated into another civil war like the wars of the roses but thankfully for everyone involved it didn’t and his sister won her crown fair and square. But as with every Tudor, once her sister became Queen, she began to make good use of the propaganda machine to portray her sibling as a puppet of Northumberland and other evil lords who had corrupted him and turned him against her. Why was this done? Same reason why people who rebelled against their kings often pointed their fingers at their councilors -because doing so against an anointed king meant that they were upsetting the natural order. It was only in extreme cases, when someone had enough support and belonged to a different dynasty, that they would point it directly at them. Edward belonged to the same dynasty as Mary, and a dynasty divided was bad business for everyone, especially for the first Queen Regnant of England who had inherited a divided country.

Mary I also did something else and that was appropriating some of Edward VI’s religious achievements in an effort to make Catholicism appealing to those who were still unsure whether or not they wanted to return to the church or side with the various groups within the Protestant movement. Sections from the book of the common prayer were added to a new set of prayers in Latin and English, and adapted in a way that didn’t contradict church doctrine. During his reign, Edward encouraged many poets and artists to express themselves. These would reenact passages from the bible, or create allegorical paintings that depicted Edward as England’s messiah, and all those who followed him as true Christians as opposed to the decadent Catholics who were portrayed as heathens.

Edward’s religious reformation became the basis for Elizabeth I’s reign who continued with many of these reforms. Although she did not go as far as Edward or his chosen heiress, Jane Grey, would have liked. Elizabeth I was far more pragmatic, recognizing that if she wanted to rule over a divided country she had to maintain some of the older traditions or else, she’d risk losing everything she had. Unlike her siblings, Elizabeth I wasn’t thought of as legitimate by many of her Christian peers. Ideological purity was a luxury that she couldn’t afford and in any case, she did not want because many Evangelicals didn’t like the idea of the supremacy of kings (or queens). Nevertheless, Elizabeth I built her religious establishment upon her brother’s by issuing a new revision of the book of common prayer and encouraging artists and poets to create works that extolled the Anglican Church and the Tudor Dynasty.

[theyearoftheking]

Book Fifty-Seven: Cell

“It was the cell phones...”

Actual conversation with my daughter while reading Cell...

SB: “What’s that book about?” 

Me: Cellphones that turn people into murderous, rage-filled zombie cannibals.” 

SB: “Yep, that sounds about right!”

Cell is equal parts cute in it’s nostalgia about a time where cellphones were NOT surgically attached to peoples hands; and oddly prophetic. I actually deleted my Facebook account last month, because scrolling was filling me with the same rage I imagine characters in Cell felt. I mean, I might not have tried to rip someone’s throat out, but I definitely would have slapped a bitch. Or seven. I was tired of every damn decision/preference turning into a political, polarizing, them-vs-us debate. 

Masks

Voting

Covid

Reproductive rights

Science 

Religion

The list goes on and on. I just got tired of people being ugly towards each other. I was tired of the sick feeling I’d get in my stomach when I saw a friend I really liked posting hateful memes, or misinformation, or referring to people who wore masks as sheep. This was finally the meme that did it for me...

In a bitter twist of irony, this person’s workplace (with no masks or social distancing) just had a massive Covid outbreak. So there’s that. Who’s the sheep now, motherfucker?! So, yeah. I primarily hang out on Instagram now, looking at pictures of dogs, and posting pictures of food. It’s not terrible. It’s far preferable to Facebook, that’s for damn sure. But I do miss snooping on people. Not going to lie. 

Ok! So, Cell... This story takes off almost immediately. Clay Riddell, an artist, is celebrating a massive deal he just signed in Boston. He bought his wife a fancy paperweight (as you do); and is in line for an ice cream cone when it all goes to hell. People start getting calls on their cellphones, and beating/mauling each other to death. Clay dashes off, and eventually meets up with Alice Maxwell and Tom McCourt. They hide out in a downtown Boston hotel, and determine the cellphones are behind the rage-filled attacks the city is experiencing. Clay is worried about his wife and son, and convinces Alice and Tom to travel north to Maine with him. 

The rest of the story is like a shortened, but more graphically violent version of The Stand: a long journey on foot, some characters die, some new people join their trio, cryptic messages spray painted all over the city (KASHWAK=NO-FO), and of course a villain: Raggedy Man. 

This was my first time reading Cell, and it was fine. It was a fast read, but I didn’t really feel any connection to the characters or their plight. It was solidly “meh”. There was one Dark Tower reference: a shout-out to our pal Charlie the Choo-Choo. And one Wisconsin reference: the lovely city of Madison was mentioned. 

Oh, and there was this. We can file it under, “Author Bios that Didn’t Age Well and Most Certainly Untrue in 2020″ 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 38

Total Dark Tower References: 53

Book Grade: C+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D

Next up is Lisey’s Story. I’ve seen rave reviews all over the Constant Reader fan pages; and I just don’t get it. It’s been so slow to start, and it’s very psychological. Stay tuned...

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2019

Or that annual New Year’s meme about yours truly.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? Had abdominal surgery! I spent most of April either doped up or unconscious. Long story short, I had an ovarian cyst that they thought was twice as big as my fist. So they fast-tracked me to surgery, and discovered that while I did have an ovarian cyst that was pretty large, most of the issue was that my bowel had fused to my uterine wall. Or was it abdominal wall? Either way, my bowel was glued to where it shouldn’t be and very angry because it had a fairly large pre-cancerous polyp in it. Which I found out a week after the abdominal surgery, when I had to have a colonoscopy. Which leads me to...

Had to do three different bowel preps in less than a month! It’s really not fun, guys. But, I got a cyst removed, a polyp removed, a metric fuckton of endo removed, and got my bowel back where it should be. Also, they confirmed that I can have babies! Which I didn’t know I was so fucked up about until I started crying about it post surgery.

Oh, also I peed in a bedpan. That’s also something I’ve never done before. And and and, been sick on Christmas! - Adding Tanya later in this post means I remembered something else I’d never done before - jumped into a pool fully dressed. Then became... no longer dressed.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Still don’t remember what my resolution was which- hey, 2020 Heather! Your 2019 resolution is to legitimately lose weight (she says while eating cotton candy ice cream out of the tub) and quit smoking again. Also, maybe be engaged. But mostly, the weight and the smoking thing. 

As for 2019 resolutions- I can guess what they were, which probably boiled down to losing weight. I put on about 20 pounds after surgery and haven’t lost it, because shocker, abdominal surgery really fucks with your core strength. Pretty sure there was something in there about reading 100 books (done), beating 4 games (done), and write something original (done? technically?) and/or novel-length (negative). 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? High school people and a few old coworkers. Nick’s cousin and his wife just had their third kid though. I think it may have actually happened on Christmas. 4. Did anyone close to you die? No.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries. Went to North Carolina for our possible last beach vacation. In January we’re going to Vegas for our friend’s wedding, which will be interesting. They’re getting married on a ferris wheel by an Elvis impersonator. May also go to Maine this year, but not sure yet because I only have a certain amount of vacation time. 

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Didn’t get a ring, yet. But we’ll see. We also didn’t get the house yet, so lets recycle those wants! Also, while we’re shooting big here, how about a better goddamn president?

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Started my second big girl job on November 18th. Had surgery on April 12th. Not a whole lot else stands out. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Got a new job! With more money and more responsibility and will look really good on a resume! Didn’t kill myself? Which sounds pretty morbid, but I had a lot of pain in my life earlier in the year. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Not... losing... weight? Because I really need to do that. The heartburn bullshit will likely go away. The sleep apnea thing will likely go away. Your health in general will improve. And you don’t even like food that much anyway!  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I think I’ve had the flu twice this year and again, abdominal surgery, so yes. 11. What was the best thing you bought? I got nice clothes? Most of the other shit has been knick-knacks. I got more books. A new bookshelf!  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know. Mine, I guess. I mean, 2019 wasn’t the worst, but it definitely has not been great.  13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I have a friend. Let’s call her Amanda. Yeah, her. She’s blown us off a lot this year, which really sucks. The rest of it is her own decisions that only affect us because it’s inevitably going to affect her in a terrible way, but the blowing us off and only using us as passes for free food and ways to do her laundry really sucks.

14. Where did most of your money go? Surgery! My OOP may have been met in April, but the surgery itself was $48,000. I’ve only had to pay about $6,000 because my OOP was 5k, but that still hurts. And my dental sucks, which means I paid out of my ass to fix my teeth. Also, I bought way too many clothes and books. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I do still appreciate having a job with decent money. The new job will have insurance after my 90 day probation period (yeah, because you can’t have health care for 3 months even if you work in health care because you’re new). I’m glad that I caught the polyp before it became cancerous. I was happy I could have babies. I got excited about the new His Dark Materials series and The Witcher series and Kingdom Hearts 3 and God of War, and probably at least a couple other fandom things.

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? Face My Fears. Curse of the I-5 Corridor. Hadestown soundtrack. Transistor soundtrack. Wasteland, Baby! album. Billie Eilish in general. Lark of My Heart. But mostly, Face My Fears and Don’t Think Twice. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Sadder, probably? 2019 wasn’t great. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.  iii. richer or poorer? Technically probably on par with where I was last year? I didn’t save quite as much as I wanted to with the surgery happening. Also, my car needed some pricey repairs this year. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I do wish I’d written more this year, but I wrote a lot in October. Possibly more than the last two years combined, which was nice. And I read a lot. I kind of wish I slept more. Or ate better. Or worked out more. I’m just really tired this year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spent less time with doctors? But I mean, taking care of myself is good and I’ve never had that option before.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it mostly sleeping. We got a bug that was either a really bad cold or a flu, so I’ve spent the last week generally shitty and sweaty and tired. First year that we haven’t been able to do Christmas basically at all. But we spent the hours between 6pm on Christmas Eve and 10am Christmas morning have the most restless goddamn sleep in the world and then opened presents and watched Love Actually and some television (the last two episodes of the Witcher!) while kind of napping on the couch, and ordered Chinese because it was hungry and the only thing open. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Think I’m going to make the pirozki on Sunday, and then we’re doing a gift exchange with some of our friends at his mom’s house. 22. Did you fall in love in 2019? Eh. Still love him.  23. Best month for you this year? Clearly me having a good 2018 while everyone else had a shitty one guaranteed 2019 to be shit, because I honestly don’t fucking know. October was nice. So was August. But fuck most of the rest of it.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2019? Russian Doll, Glow, The Dragon Prince, Good Omens, Schitt’s Creek, The Terror, Chernobyl, Buzzfeed Unsolved, She-Ra, His Dark Materials, The Witcher... 2019 may have been a meh year, but it had some good shows. Of those, I think my favorite was probably either The Witcher or Good Omens, with His Dark Materials, Russian Doll, and The Terror tying for third. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Eh.

26. What was the best book you read? Red, White, & Royal Blue was probably my favorite. I also read Sanderson’s books this year though, which were also absolutely amazing. Mistborn and The Stormlight Archive were wonderful. It was a pretty great year for books too. Books and TV, well done 2019. Middlegame, The Ninth Gate, a lot of rereads. Best one was still Red, White, & Royal Blue though. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Do Utada Hikaru’s new Kingdom Hearts anthems count? Because Spanish Sahara by Foals, Obstacles by Syd Matters, the new Hozier album, and the Hadestown soundtrack were all wonderful musical discoveries. 28. What did you want and got? I don’t know. New clothes? A laptop? Confirmation that my ovaries work?

29. What did you want but didn’t get? Well, I lost the bet with Brandon. No ring by the end of 2019. No kids, either, but we aren’t quite there yet. No house. No perfect health? Is that a thing?

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I liked Into the Spiderverse a lot. Detective Pikachu. Rocketman.Frozen 2. Endgame was all right. I didn’t hate the new Star Wars. Toy Story 4. IT. It wasn’t a super great movie year for me.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? The big 3-0. It was all right. The night before we went to Fujiyamas with a couple of our friends, then on my birthday we had breakfast at First Watch, did some Christmas shopping, and went to the Zoo Lights a little after 5. Froze to death because it was snowing and shocker, when snow melts you get wet, but it was nice. Then had a late dinner at Mackenzie River, because it was one of the only places still open and close to our place.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hah! A better president and a ring is the only thing that I didn’t get from my wishes last year. ----Hmmmmm 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? I did not give up and buys Scrubs. Instead I have a perhaps slightly oversized work appropriate selection of jeans (for Fridays), work slacks, blouses/sweaters, dresses, and skirts. I spent a little too much on clothes this year. I blame discovering Torrid. 34. What kept you sane? Reading was really, really great this year. - STILL leaving this answer, three years running! 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? David Tenant made a shocking comeback after Good Omens aired. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789. —– Ayyyyy, this was my response from last year, and apparently also the year before and the one before! Hello past me’s, don’t worry, it’s still getting worse. 37. Who did you miss? Myself. Also, my brother, who is still in jail almost a year later and still no fucking trial. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I don’t know. Oh! I do know! I really like Tanya. 

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Tanya is awesome and pretty and fun and possibly at least a little bit crazy, but we all fucking are, come on. She got to come with us on vacation this year and it really made it interesting. Also, Shay and Alicia. I knew them last year, but got to know them pretty well this year.

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

Took this one about 20 minutes after midnight on January 1st, 2019 after my first successful round of Battleshots. The hat went to the winner. It is not the most flattering picture, because I had been drinking already before I had to take four shots of Satan’s cinnamon liquor.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

Taken on my birthday, at the zoo. Again, snow melts.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Not sure? There’s not a whole lot of new food we haven’t tried. One of the pharmacists brought in some authentic Indian food for one of the potlucks we had and I don’t remember what it was called but it had rice and eggs and was amazing.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I don’t know. We saw both Hamilton and Les Mis this year and they both reduced me to tears. I also had some good moments with books and tv shows I watched with Nick.

44. What are you excited for next year? There’s a couple new books. The election. Some tv shows, I think? Games? I don’t know, man. I’m trying not to come off as horribly depressed but I am kind of pretty depressed and nobody will ever know because the only person who ever gets this far into reading these things is me, so- hello 2020 me, you were really sad on December 26th 2019 and honestly for most of the year, so I sure hope 2020 is the year that we fucking seize life by the horns or however that saying goes.

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I feel like my message from last year is fucking taunting me. Legit though, this is not the worst thing you’ve ever been through. You have a boyfriend who loves you, two wonderful cats that better not fucking die anytime soon, and like, I don’t know, working ovaries. A job. A car. An apartment that has a kind of shitty kitchen and a bath tub that might as well not exist, but is still an apartment! Which is more than some people have! 

I guess my message from last year (it gets better) is in almost direct opposition of this year, which is basically: it could always be worse. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Feed me sunlight, feed me air In a place where nothing matters Feed me truth and feed me prayer

(seriously, deliriously happy 2018 me quoting singin’ in the rain is taunting me wtf)

First Fandom of 2019: January of 2019 was pretty solidly Detroit Become Human. It hit me hard. Favorite Main Character of 2019: Jonathan Sims. I was a slut for the Archivist in 2019. Favorite Villain of 2019: Elias from The Magnus Archives, maybe? My only other response would be.. dun dun dun, Ben Solo aka Kylo Ron or whatever Favorite M/F Couple of 2019: I... am back on my Reylo bullshit. Favorite F/F Couple of 2019: Can I say Villanelle and Eve even if I didn’t really dip into the fandom? No? Okay, Catra and Adora. Favorite M/M Couple of 2019: Okay, so the three that got me this year was Hank/Connor, Jon/Martin, and Ryan/Shane.  Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: Um, Buzzfeed Unsolved. Never would have guessed that one. Also like, while I would have expected Detroit Become Human I never would have guessed my favorite ship. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Sigh. Twas that Reylo smacking me in the face at the tail end of 2019. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Insert shrug? I read a weird Buzzfeed Unsolved fic above Mothman giving the guys sharable dreams (that were sometimes weird and sometimes sexy) until they boned. Last Fandom of 2019: Sighing again. Reylo. Though Yuletide has made it so I’ve read a lot of Queen’s Thief stuff. Favorite Fandom of 2019: I think that Buzzfeed Unsolved was my favorite purely from a fic standpoint, but Detroit Become Human and The Magnus Archives were both really great too.

[crazymarvelsuperfamily]

G’night dad

Peter is out way past curfew, and has travelled a little far from home. Tony drags Peter back to his, after finding the kid hasn’t slept at all for a week.

Peter took a glance at the clock. 03:23 he could do with getting back home soon, especially as he had an essay due first period. He felt utterly exhausted, but he would never admit that to anyone. He used to have a curfew of 10, but somehow, he had managed to get out later and later, without Mr Stark on his case. And with May working longer shifts so hardly ever home, Peter didn’t really have anyone keeping a proper eye on him. Peter couldn’t quite remember when he last slept, but he’s pretty sure he got at least 2 hours on Tuesday. Today was Sunday, well, Monday now, Peter guessed. But recently, crimes had shot up all over NYC, and for some reason, the police didn’t seem to care about any of it. So, where he was once a Queens vigilante, he was slowly becoming the hero of the whole of New York. Which was tiring. And that was an understatement. Most days, as soon as he finished school, he’d grab a sandwich or something, come home if May was cooking dinner, then go straight back out again, where he’d spend most of the night stopping petty crimes, muggings, and street gang fights. Often these days, he wouldn’t get back until 5 or even 6 in the morning, so he just wouldn’t bother going to sleep, especially since he needed to keep his grades up and he was getting a fair amount of homework at this time of year.

At that moment, he was in a car chase. Except, he wasn’t in a car, he was just chasing the car. The car that Peter was like 90% sure was loaded with a bunch of weapons. Now, last time he did this, about a year ago, this didn’t go down to well, not to mention that he had stood Ned up at a party, but he was fairly certain that this was going to go a lot better. For starters, he had Karen. He was also pretty sure that this car was just full of normal, human technology, not the crazy alien stuff last time. So, his car chase was going well, by Peter’s standards. He was keeping up with the car, all his stats were good, and he even had a rough idea of where he was and where he was heading. He had tracked the car from Brooklyn, it had gone through Manhattan, and now as hit was heading North out of Bronx, Peter had met up with Droney and was on the tail of the car. Obviously, Peter would be lying if he said all the swinging wasn’t tiring him out fast, but he was pretty sure he was gonna catch the car soon. He was working on his plan and was almost ready to stop the car. He just needed to wait for the opportunity to swing in front of the car.

“Karen, how are we doing?”

There wasn’t any response.

“Karen?” Still no response. Then Peter passed a sign. You are now leaving Bronx. Come back soon! Then it struck Peter.

“Play-Pen Escape protocol activated. Calling Tony Stark. All powers deactivated.”

“What?! Karen. No!” Peter protested. He tried to shoot a web, but the suit disallowed him. He slumped down by the side of the road, and the next thing he knew Tony’s face popped up in front of his face.

“Hey kid. Why are you in your suit at half 3 in the morning? And why have you gone so far from Queens? What on earth is going on?”

“Half 3? Is that really the time? Wow. That’s a little later than I thought.”

“Cut the act kid. You look like you’ve had your soul sucked through your corneas.”

“Bit harsh Mr Stark.”

“Meh, it’s the truth. Now, if I reactivate your suit, please get back to your Aunt’s as soon as possible.”

“But Mr Stark, I’ve nearly caught this car I’ve been tracking for over 2 hours. They are literally a weapons cartel, and I’ve basically got them and- “ Tony cut Peter off before he could say anything else.

“But kid, no.”

“please!”

“Peter, it’s a school night. You have homework. And, I know I’ve been busy this week, but don’t think I haven’t got a clue what your up to. Have you slept at all this week?” Tony suddenly seemed genuinely concerned.

“Well, I got a couple of hours in on Tuesday.” Peter started thinking, it wasn’t like he was purposely depriving himself, he just couldn’t find the time.

“Christ kid, I was joking. Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.”

“No, Mr Stark, don’t. Please, I’m fiiiiiiiiine” Peter said mid yawn.

“You totally are not.”

“Yeah. I am.” Peter mumbled. He was starting to remember quite how tired he was, and he really didn’t want to move at all. He was almost closing his eyes when Tony startled him again.

“Hey kid, you still there?”

“Mmmnhh I’m tired. I think I need a nap.”

“I know kiddo, can you stay awake for just five more minutes? I’m on my way. You know what, we’re gonna play a game. You’re gonna say banana for every red car that passes.”

“Mr Stark, that’s a silly game.” Peter giggled sleepily.

“I know, but you need to stay awake. In fact, you’re too comfy. Karen, turn the heater off in Peter’s suit.”

The heater instantly powered off, and Peter felt the cold air of the night hit him. It stung a bit and jolted him again, “Brrrrrrrrr. Hey, that’s mean.”

“You know what’s meaner? Letting a kid fall asleep by the side of the road.”

Peter mumbled something barely audible, but the ironman suit landed next to him in under a minute.

“Hey kid, can you get in the suit?”

“aren’t you in there?”

“you crazy? I’m at home eating popcorn.” The facemask flipped open to reveal empty suit. Peter wearily stood up, as the ironman suit enclosed around him.

Tony programmed the suit to take him straight back to the compound Upstate. Peter was back in about 10 minutes. The suit carried Peter right the way onto Tony’s floor, before dropping him out. He immediately flopped onto the sofa. Tony wandered into his living room, bucket of popcorn in his hand. He tossed a piece into the air and caught it with his mouth.

“Hey Spiderling, nice of you to show up.”

“Mr Stark…” Peter began to whine, but he literally couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

“Come on kiddo, I think you oughta go to bed.”

“gotta get back to May.”

“We both know she’s on a night shift. I texted her, and she says its fine for you to stay the night here.”

“Can’t – I have an essay due tomorrow, first period.”

“Wow, if you think I’m waking up early to do the school run you are very much mistaken.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Kid, you need to catch up on sleep. I’m calling your school tomorrow, you’re taking a sick day.” Peter blinked twice and nodded slowly. “But for now, Mr Sleep-Deprived, you are going straight to my spare room to sleep. And no essay writing or monkey business.”

Tony lent a hand to help Peter stand up. He slumped an arm around the kid’s shoulder and led him into one of the spare bedrooms. Peter had flopped onto the bed and had to be reminded to take the spider man suit off before crawling under the sheets.

“Mr Stark,”

“Yeah kid”

“maybe you’re right.”

“How d’ya mean?”

“I guess I am pretty tired, come to think of it.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“I know. Get some sleep.” Tony spun around to leave. He dimmed the lights, and out of the darkness came an extremely drowsy little whisper.

“G’night Dad.” Tony blinked. Dad?

“Good night, son.”

[sharperthewriter]

Stoppable Family Vacation - Ch. 9

Chapter 9 - Day 1: The Door Incident

(9:30am)

Since the Lipsky's house was located on the outskirts of Pierre, the capital of South Dakota, it'd would be a very long 8 1/2 hour drive from Middleton. To make things even for the Stoppable husband/wife team, Kim and Ron agreed to split the driving duties in half: Ron from Middleton to North Platte, Nebraska and Kim from that point to the hotel in Pierre. On the way back, it would be the other way around. She and Ron took the full Thanksgiving week off of work at Global Justice for this.

"Alright, we got everything!" he said, dusting his hands off.

He got into the drivers' door and closed it. His wife got in the passenger's side and removed her coat.

"And we're going to be there in Pierre!" Ron exclaimed as he put the ignition key into the minivan. The engine started up and Ron pulled the car in reverse. The GPS that they plan to use, Gipsi, would be their vital way of getting directions

"Ron, after fighting off those VILE agents a few days ago in Italy..." Kim said, "...it's glad that we got a few days off."

"Yeah, I'd thought we'd never recover those paintings in time." Ron added while putting the key in the ignition. It started up the engine.

He pulled out in reverse and added, "Besides, they weren't as tough as those WEE goons we faced when we rescued Dr. Director!"

"Are we trying to compare whose henchmen in the past we faced in the past?" Kim wondered.

"KS, in all our years of crimefighting, Dementor's were ususally the toughest!" Ron said, shifting the car's gear into drive.

"Yeah." Kim replied while kissing her husband on the cheek, "Now, let's begin this drive!"

The kids and mole rat cheered as the minivan began its 500-mile journey to the Lipskys.

For the first 15 miles of the journey, all seemed fine within the Stoppables in their minivan.

That was until Ron uttered the following words.

"Uh, KS! Something just came to my mind!"

Kim asked, "What is it, Ron?"

"Did I turn the stove off. You know...after breakfast before we locked up the house?" Ron asked and then began to scream out loud.

And then Kim began to scream in horror as well, followed by Rufus, Justin and Alexa.

They were on the outskirts of Denver when Ron made a turnaround to go back to the house.

(1 more hour hater)

"Well that was a complete waste of time!" Kim said, resting her head on her right elbow.

The Stoppable family was now on Interstate 76 on the outskirts of Fort Morgan. As it turned out, Ron actually DID turn off the stove after breakfast.

"I gotta stop having these brain farts!" Ron replied while keeping his hands on the wheel of the Stoppable-mobile.

Then, Kim's smartphone began to ring.

"I'll get that!" she sighed, digging through her expensive County CB handbag for the phone.

It was Ednel Juanna on the phone.

Kim: "Oh hey, Aunt Ednel!"

Ednel: "Kimberly, I hope you and Ronald are coming over here for lunch!"

Kim: "Don't worry! Ron has everything under control!

Ednel: "Riiiiiiiiiight. You do know where our house is, correct?

Kim: Is it on the edge of the Colorado-Nebraska state line?

Ednel: Yes, right between the towns of Julesburg and Holyoke. Our farm is off of US 385! And remember, I want you to not only be here by noon but also, as I mentioned last night to Ronald, to take Mary and her friend Canni to Edna Lipsky's house!

Kim: Don't worry! We'll stay here for a couple of hours and be back on the road with the two!

Ednel: I will see you then!

"So Aunt Ednel wants us for lunch?" Ron asked, "I hope this doesn't cut into Bueno Nacho time because we plan to stop at one at Oge...Ogu...ugh! I can't get the name right!"

"Ogallaga, Nebraska, Ron! No wonder why you almost flunked Barkin's US Geography course in high school!" Kim giggled.

(40 more mnutes later)

The Stoppable-mobile continued down Interstate 76. They were past mile marker 114.

Ron decided to break the ice to Kim and asked her, "KS, do you think that the Stoppable Vacation Curse will ruin this vacation?"

"What?" Kim questioned, stunned that her husband would say that "Of course not! As long as we do not take any un-necessary detours, or run into anything that is considered sick and wrong, we should be good on our way to South Dakota!"

But Ron wasn't convinced and he began to ask a myriad of questions.

"But what if something happens?" What if we run into a gang of bikers and we'd be forced to hot oil wrestle each other? What if our clothes get burned or destroyed? What if we get gunged from head to toe? What if a hot actor drives up and tries to take you away from me? "

"Ron, look at us! We're all grown up!" Kim said, pointing out the here and now, "We're into our thirties now! We got two beautiful...and peacefully sleeping...kids. So I guarantee you that nothing will happen to us on this trip to Mama Lipsky. My 'rents are also going to be there as well, so I expect you and the kids to be on your best behavior."

"That totally won't be a prob! The Ronster's gonna be cool like school!" Ron said, while flowing his left hand outward and keeping one hand on the steering wheel. "I'm like a glass half-full that's never empty!"

Kim took a look at the gas gague and said, "Um, Ron, speaking of empty..."

Ron looked at it too and said, "Ooops..."

The gas gague was nearing the red E.

"You forgot to fill the van up with gas before we left for a trip...again!" Kim muttered, raising her eyebrow.

"No prob, KS! All we have to do is to go to the Dinoco at the next exit." Ron replied. "Now let's see here! We are nearing exit 125, Sterling, Colorado."

He saw the blue information sign for gas that, yes, there is a Dinoco.

Kim turned to the sleeping Stoppable kids and said to them, "Okay, Stoppable troops, we're coming up on our first break of the trip. Do any of you kids need to use the rest room?"

"I do!" Alexa squeaked.

"I don't!" Justin added.

Rufus woke up and shook his head, indicating a yes.

"Fine." Kim sighed "Looks like I may need to use the restroom as well!"

"Alright, we're entering the exit now." Ron said while pulling the van into the onramp.

The van headed right to go to the nearby Dinoco and stopped right.

Ron said, "Alexa, my dear, go with Mommy to go tee-tee. I'll stay here with Justin and fuel up the van."

"Yes, Dad!" Alexa replied as she got out of the car with Kim. Rufus got out the car as well.

"Do you want anything, Ron?" Kim asked.

"Meh...just a coffee and some nachos." Ron replied. "It'll tide me over till we get to Oolal...Ooolei?"

"Ogallala, Nebraska!" Kim corrected him.

"That's what I was about to say, KS." Ron groaned, "There's a Bueno Nacho over there that we can eat for lunch.

Kim and Alexa headed off together into the Dinoco. Ron, in the meantime, took the key out of the ignition, and set the keys to lock because of the fact that Kim had a lot of valuable jewelry in the Stoppable-mobile. He put the keys in his back pocket loosely and got off the driver seat, whistling. But he was unaware that the keys slipped from his khakis pocket, falling onto the seat. He closed the door and started to pump the gas.

After about 5 minutes, the gas tank was full.

"Ah, she's all up and ready to go!" Ron grinned while putting the nozzle back into the pump.

He turned to the drivers seat and gasped! Ron's keys were on the edge of the drivers seat...and the van is locked with Justin inside, laughing and making faces!

"Oh no! Oh please NO!" Ron exclaimed, struggling to get the door to open.

PREVIOUS: https://sharperthewriter.tumblr.com/post/186109849473/stoppable-family-vacation-ch-8

[purplesurveys]

382

-What was the last song that you sang out loud? I played a Destiny’s Child playlist when we were out for a bit earlier so I was most likely rapping along to Bug A Boo before we got home. -If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? I don’t think I can. I’d rather just not have my face directly on them when talking. -With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Angela. She knows e v e r y t h i n g. -Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? My...phone? Haha. If I get anxious I need to watch videos to distract me. My phone has YouTube. Also bracelets that Gabie has given me over the years. -When are you likely to hide your emotions? When I’m with people that don’t really know about my anxiety. People I’m not close to, in general.

-Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I think both are equally terrifying??? Both put the body in immense pain and it goes through a slow, agonizing shutdown and I don’t even want to think about experiencing other lol. -Who was the last person to take your breath away? MY GIRLFRIEND -When you turn on the TV, what channel do you flip to? Probably a movie channel but I legit have not watched television in yearssss. I watch everything on Netflix now. -Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? No. -What was the last comment someone made on your music taste? I don’t have much of a music taste so it’s not really something people tend to make comments on. -Where do you go/what do you do when you need to calm down? My room. Or to my best friends. -What was the last mess you cleaned up? I had a stack of readings and stationery scattered all over the dining table last night when I was studying, so I cleaned everything up before going to bed. -Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? Yes I had to talk to Toby because he made a series of disturbing tweets a couple of weeks ago. We aren’t close per se, but he’s an orgmate and therefore a friend, so I messaged him immediately. I’m happy it worked, cos he showed up to school the next day and gave me a bear hug. -When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? Work. -Who, in your opinion, has an amazing voice? Hannah sings a lot, and I really like it when she does because she sounds great. -Would you ever camp out on a beach, under the stars? Of course.

-What is the last thing you complained about? I need a printer to print out my readings (I absolutely cannot study from an e-book) but ours has been broken for years and there’s no Internet/printing shop nearby. UGH I’m serious about complaining over not being able to study haha.   -What was the last curse-word you said? Fuck. -When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I would never fake sick to my Asian mom.  -How did you recover from your last bout of tears? I slept. As is always the most effective way to stop crying. -Do you still talk to your very first best friend? Yes. I talked to her last night. -When was the last time something went terribly wrong? Well a couple of weeks ago Gab and I had a huge, really serious fight that had just been unfixable–it was the kind of fight that you just had to wait. And the wait was torture. I was really scared then and I stayed in bed for what was probably 48 hours and ate like two times in that period. -How do you console someone when he or she is upset? I stay with them and listen to them if they have to let things out. -Have you ever seen either one of your parents cry? Just my mom. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw my dad cry. -Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? OUTER SPACE. I’d do anything to have a glimpse into my astronaut dream. -How often do you feel overwhelmed? 7 days a week. -How do you deal with everyday life? Get by. Aren’t we all forced to? -Do you have any secret obsessions or guilty pleasures? I don’t think so. I’m never guilty of whatever it is I’m obsessing at the moment haha. I am into serial killers, like reading and watching docus about them; and obviously I never announce it the world unless it comes up in conversation. -Aside from on this survey, what was the last thing you wrote about? I was writing down notes on my readings from my Southeast Asian history class. -Who in your family do you act like the most? I’m a mix of my mom and dad. I seriously can’t tell you who I act more like. There are certain phrases my mom says that I say, and certain intonations and mannerisms I got from my dad.  -What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? I’m into intimate, more between-the-two-of-you kind of stuff, so I always appreciate it when Gab volunteers to drive my car if I ever drink a little bit too much for the night. She helps me get to bed and gets me some clothes to wear too, which is always sweet.

-When you go out to the mall, do people stare? Not me, but my girlfriend and I obviously will get stares from time to time for holding hands. -Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? No. -What just tears at your heartstrings? Videos of dogs reuniting with their owners, abused dogs getting saved and all groomed up, or dogs getting adopted. -Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? GAME OF THRONES -What was the last topic that you ranted about? The lack of a printer that I delved on several survey questions ago. -Is there someone that makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Jane lol. She’s the president of our org and will easily get pissed the fuck off sometimes, and it never does my anxiety any good. -Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? Yes. We had this monster of a PE teacher in 2nd grade who would literally kick down doors if she gets angry and would yell at 8 year olds. How she ever got employed in the first place still baffles me. -Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? That’s a huuuuuge no-no in our school, so no. Plus I came from an all-girls’ Catholic school; it just wasn’t in anyone’s nature to pick a fight. -Have you written anything in a bathroom stall? What, if anything? No, I feel so iffy about vandalizing in public. -Is your school like the drama capital of the country? HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You can say that, damn. -A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? I give them a little more and a snack if I had any. -When was the last time you visited a thrift store? I don’t remember. I don’t think I have? -Was there ever a time when you wished you'd never been born? Always. I didn’t even choose to be born lol. -Can you handle constructive criticism? Uhhhhhh only if it’s from someone I truly respect. Otherwise I can honestly be a big baby about criticism. -Who is the most sensitive person that you know? ME. Also one of my friends, Mils. -Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? Nope. -You can have one famous person's wardrobe; who do you choose, and why? Kate’s!!! She dresses so well and looks pretty in all of her outfits. -When was the last time you wrote someone a note? I think December? Aya was down in the dumps pretty bad so I dropped her a short message on Facebook to let her know that I’m always around for her. -Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I ask permission. Duh. I’m Asian.  -What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? Agatha’s birthday party. She’s a good friend, but I’m not friends with any of her friends and I just can’t relate with the college block we both belong to. I scheduled a date with Gabie’s dad on the same night because I didn’t want to go to the party. -On average, how many surveys do you fill out in one day? If I had a lot of time, I could fill out three. Nowadays it’s like once a day/a couple of times a week. -How many hours a day do you spend on Bzoink? I don’t stay on Bzoink; I just go on there to look for surveys. -Which season do you dread the most? I hate Philippine summers. -Do you ever brag about your achievements? Oh god never. I hate putting any attention on me. -If someone makes fun of you, are you able to laugh it off? Tbh no, I’m pretty sensitive and serious in that aspect. I mean I’d smile to be polite but will most likely be whispering something evil about them in my head hahahaha. -When was the last time that you watched the sun come up? Three years ago, in Sagada. -What did you do last Halloween? I think I went out with Gab that day, but it wasn’t to celebrate Halloween. -Last Thanksgiving? -Last Christmas - if you celebrate? I like how Christmas has the *if you celebrate* disclaimer but the North American-centric Thanksgiving doesn’t. Anyway, we had several family dinners and we ate and drank and caught up with one another. -How did you celebrate the arrival of the new year? Also saw some relatives and ate and drank and bonded with my cousins. -Is there a foreign culture you'd like to learn more about? I’d like to know more about all of them if I had the time and the chance. -Have you ever (purposely or accidentally) played with someone's heart? I possibly might’ve with Mike but I don’t want to be an ass and assume. -Has anyone ever played with yours? Sure, you can say that. -Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought "I could have done that?” Not famous, but expensive ones. The ones that are paint splatters hah. -Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real ... just once? LOL YES. I’m terrible for thinking that but yes. Mostly because everyone was such kids about it and never took the drills seriously. I secretly wanted a real one to happen just to see those people regret not being any more serious.

-What is the scariest thing about attending your school? Nothing’s scary about UP. If you’re scared to be in UP you can’t survive in it. -Are you a good judge of other people's intentions? Meh. I can tell sometimes. What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I’m not so sure, it’s been a while. -Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? Girlfriend. -What is one insecurity you have about your body? Teeth. -What is one part of your body that you are proud of? My overall figure. -When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? Ages ago. I’m getting old myself and don’t want my music too loud lmfao. -When you don't know how to spell a word, do you look it up? Yes, of course. -Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? Nope. I hate making people wait. -Have you seen the movie Super Size Me? No. -Do you still eat at McDonald's, regardless of that film? I’d probably continue eating at any fast food establishment even if I watch a billion documentaries exposing them, being completely honest. -Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a different race? Sometimes. -Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? Of course. Except for one snowflake race out there, lol. -When was the last time you doubted your abilities? Now? -At your favorite restaurant, what do you order? I don’t pick favorite restaurants. -What was the last thing you wished for? A DAMN PRINTER. -How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? Too many. I’m perpetually impatient.

[officialjessicajewett]

There may come a time when I can look Jonathan Frakes in the eye and have a conversation without turning tomato red and losing track of basic language skills. This past week wasn’t that time.

But we’re getting closer!

We have to start way back in 1987 when the Civil War led me to the Final Frontier. I watched the second part of a huge miniseries called North and South that actually began in 1985, but I don’t remember seeing it then. I was pretty young and going through some rough things in my family. The important thing is North & South had a character called Stanley Hazard played by (drum roll, please) Jonathan Frakes, seen here in Book III in 1994. At the same time that he was making Book I and II of North & South, he was also starting to work on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Presto! I followed “the guy with the blue eyes and the chin dimple” (quickly covered by a Civil War-appropriate beard) from the 19th century to the 24th century when I wasn’t interested in sci-fi at the time.

That’s love, folks.

Most of you know me enough by now to understand that I was born with a desperate need for connection to 19th century American history, so me as a child watching a giant Civil War miniseries, despite its major historical costuming flaws, isn’t that unusual. When Jonathan Frakes narrated a documentary called Lee & Grant a few years ago, I lost my mind when I heard his voice and had to pause the TV long enough to tell everybody in my house. I’m just like that. It’s part of my charm.

Last year, I met Jonathan Frakes when my friend invited me on the Star Trek cruise. Let’s revisit that glorious moment.

He did a Q&A that week and walked right by me because I was too chicken to ask a non-Star Trek question. What I really wanted to know was whether he did any preparation to play a villainous puppet like Stanley Hazard, whether he has interest in the Civil War period in real life, etc. Stuff that matters to me, not that Commander Riker isn’t a fantastic character. Trust me – I wouldn’t kick Riker out for eating cookies in bed. But I’m so invested in American history that I went to college for it before I got too sick to continue. Rooting out other people interested in American history is my stock and trade. So after the Q&A where I remained silent last year, I silently resolved to have North & South art autographed this year just for myself.

That brings us to last week. I boarded the cruise ship armed with unfinished Stanley Hazard art and sequestered myself in a corner of the pool deck to work on it before our ship even left port. They don’t tell you when autographs are right away and I was afraid there wouldn’t be time to finish it. Portraiture is my business, you see. I was swamped with orders well beyond Christmas and I barely had time to sketch out Stanley’s bewildered, resentful face before I left for the cruise. So I had to work on the ship in between activities.

Here’s how the progress went.

At home:

On the cruise:

How did it turn out? In my opinion … meh. My problem with it was the rolling, rocking ship and the unfamiliar surroundings. I need my little artist habitat to do my best work, although I did enjoy people coming by on the pool deck to tell me they liked it.

One of the crew people on the ship in particular spent quite a while talking to me about my art. I told her all about Jonathan Frakes and showed her what he looked like in the present so she could spot him when she met him. Every time I saw her after that, she had intel for me like, “Oh hi! Mr. Frakes up in VIP lounge now,” (she was Asian, I think, so English was a little tough) or, “Ah, it’s you, Miss Frakes Girl. You see him yet? You finish your art?” She even showed me the photo she took with him one night in that VIP lounge. I never asked for the intel but she was fun. Like, really, what was I going to do? Sneak into a place I wasn’t allowed to go? That’s not cool.

Yet I did see Jonathan every day on the ship. Most of the time he saw me too, but there were a few times when he was engrossed in talking to other people or headed somewhere fast (someone with legs that long moves much faster than I do) and I just didn’t want to be a bother. I ran into him immediately on my way to breakfast on the first day at sea. A big smile came over him and he rubbed my arm and spoke familiar greetings. I hadn’t had my coffee yet but that was a better wake up than caffeine. If you’ve ever been the target of his real smile, you know what I mean. I couldn’t believe it seemed like he remembered me.

The oddest thing was that we ended up on the same tender boat headed out to Grand Cayman. A zillion boats going back and forth all day and we ended up on the same one just a few rows apart. I don’t think he ever saw me since he was with his friends and I kept to myself out of equal parts politeness and shyness. You will have seen a photo of him snorkeling that day on Twitter. He went out there to see stingrays. As soon as I got off the tender, I went the opposite direction as him. Again, I didn’t want to be a bother.

It got better from there. He always had a big smile for me when we saw each other and said things like, “There she is,” or used kind endearments like “my dear” and the like.

Apparently one night while I was trying to find Jonathan’s photo op line, Jason Isaacs very nearly bumped into me and said hello but I never noticed him. So naturally my brother, who loves Jason Isaacs, made fun of me for the rest of the night and swore he was going to tell Jonathan that I was so laser focused on him that I completely missed Jason right in front of me. He never ratted me out. I think he values his life too much. But he might have had a point. Let’s be real. I spent a lot of time looking for a dress that made me feel like a lady to wear in my photo op. I didn’t say that, of course, but I was hoping Jonathan would notice it. He has to be a mind reader or he sincerely meant it because he said, “Beautiful dress,” without being prompted. The photo here is me strolling the pool deck after seeing him. I look drunk. I swear I wasn’t. I rarely get compliments from men that aren’t followed up by unsolicited photos of nude genitalia or being propositioned to send my own nude photos, so it was a moment.

I don’t fit in this century if we’re honest about it.

The autograph session for Jonathan was close to the end of the cruise, so I had plenty of time to finish my North and South art. I never could get it the way I wanted because of poor lighting and total exhaustion on my part. If you’ve never traveled with me, then you won’t know how much pain I go through every day. I don’t like to dwell on it in the moment, which means someone like Jonathan won’t ever see me suffer. The more I smile, the more my body hurts. Traveling causes more pain and more pain causes my artistic skills to decline. You guys probably can’t see it in Stanley’s finished art, but I can see exactly where my physical struggles overrode my creative drive.

However, Jonathan sincerely seemed to like what I did. I was terrified standing in line because people say he can be indifferent or cold sometimes. They say that about Michael Dorn too. My worst fear was him mumbling hi, how are you, scribbling his name, and moving on to the next person. The reward for an artist isn’t money at all but the fulfillment we get from seeing our work touch another person, especially if they are the muse. I really wasn’t expecting back flips, mind you. I just dreaded feeling passed over.

So Jonathan’s handler took the art first and got very excited over it. She asked to take a photo and she said he was going to love it. I have no idea what she did with the photo but I hope she liked it. When my turn came, he gave me that smile and said, “There she is!” as if he’d been expecting me. He took the art from his handler and he didn’t say anything for a second while I chewed a hole in my lip in abject terror. Then looked over the paper at me and said with a grin, “Spineless Stanley Hazard!” Relief flooded my body and I burst into laughter. He spent time studying my art and saying, “This is so great.” I wanted to say that North and South brought me over to Star Trek TNG through him but I was starting to fall into the dumb, speechless, tomato red thing I do around him. Luckily he was busy trying to plan how and where he was going to sign the art to notice that I was starting to freeze.

When he asked for my name and started to write the J, his eyes slid over to mine and he said, “Don’t you have three names?” It took me a second to realize he probably meant my name on Twitter. I’m listed as Jessica Jewett Jones @JJ9828 on Twitter so people who read my books or buy my art as well as people who know me in real life can find me (Jones is my legal name, Jewett is my name for books and art). I don’t know if he saw the panic alarms going off in my head. He never replies to people, so I figured he didn’t read his tweets. I have a have a habit of live tweeting Riker-centric Star Trek episodes. I express Beardo love on @sweartrek too. Twitter has to be the only place he’d see me with “three names” unless he has a secret Instagram account.

Who knows what kinds of embarrassing tweets he’s seen when I thought he wasn’t looking? Oh well. I never truly say anything online that I wouldn’t want the rest of the world to see. You just never know who’s watching. It’s fine for him to know that the Riker Maneuver in the movie (or generally Riker in combat command) turns me into one of those Victorian women in need of smelling salts. You know what? I own it. Still, I was teased the rest of the night for being busted.

I don’t know if photos in the autograph line were exactly kosher but my brother was behind me and he knew how important that night was to me. He discreetly took a few photos while Jonathan and I were talking. Hopefully we won’t get in trouble for this since it wasn’t done obnoxiously.

All joking aside, after Jonathan signed my art and handed it back to my brother (bonus points to him for knowing I can’t hold objects in my hands without being told), he caught my eye and got serious to say something to the effect of, “It’s always a pleasure to see you. Always.” It was a crowded atrium and I was honestly overwhelmed. But he made a point to make me feel valued and wanted. That meant everything to me.

Here’s the finished art with his autograph.

The next time we bumped into each other was unexpectedly at Brent Spiner’s theater show. My brother saw him sitting in my row on the other side of the theater, which was cool, but I wasn’t going to approach him. I never approach him, in fact. I just wait to see if he notices me and he usually does. He spotted me as he was walking by and he called out, “Hey, baby!” and blew a kiss at me with his whole hand. Nope, I can’t tell you what songs Spiner sang for a big part of the show after that. And for most of the second half of the show, while Spiner sang love songs, Jonathan sat right across the aisle from me and it took all of my internal fortitude to stay focused on the show.

I had hoped to catch him one more time on the last day to thank him for being so lovely to me all week. That never happened. I slept in late and then I spent the afternoon with my brother at the bar above the pool deck, ironically not drinking any alcohol. It was just a nice place to sit and watch the world go by.

There were so many other great things that happened on my trip, like Gates McFadden accidentally shoving my chair into Wil Wheaton, but it’s all too much to write in one blog. I mainly composed this one for myself so I could remember the things that were most important to me. If you found it interesting and made it to the end, you’re the kind of person I want to know and I thank you for hanging out here. I think I might do more North and South art once I’m not so buried in commissions too. We’ll see.

Yes, I am going on the Star Trek cruise next year as long as Jonathan Frakes will be there. I’d probably go even if he wasn’t there since it’s my friend Wendy who buys my passage, but he makes it so much more fun for me. And maybe I’ll figure out how to stop blushing like a virgin and say something more intelligent than hi and thank you. That’s really irritating me. I’m a 36-year-old woman who has had almost two dozen surgeries, a dozen broken bones, I’m a domestic abuse survivor, I’m more than a decade sober, and I can’t stand women that get all shy and silent around men. I’m a goddamn warrior! I can handle a 6’4 man like a queen! Next year, I’m going to blow his socks off with my charm and intelligence. He’ll go home and tell Genie Francis how awesome I am (ha!)

Next year’s autograph art? Will Riker vs Thomas Riker. So mote it be.

Oh, PS, it’s Wendy who has the photo ops and she’s in the middle of moving house during a snow storm. I’ll update this blog when she sends me the photo ops. In the meantime, go ahead and follow my social media at the bottom of this blog for more photos and my latest art projects.

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Spineless Stanley Hazard (And Other Adventures) There may come a time when I can look Jonathan Frakes in the eye and have a conversation without turning tomato red and losing track of basic language skills.

[doubleddenden]

So, my year in review

Babysitted my sister's kids for like a month after she took a vacation and had an inconvenient appendix issue.

Couldn't land a job

Disowned by mother for not giving her information that A. I didn't know and B. Would probably make my sister, dad, and aunt disown me

Told I was going to hell by my own grandmother

Told I was sick and never allowed on the property again by my step dad

Attempted to reconcile with my mother despite all the mean shit she has done to me, provided terms that she needed to agree to: she refused, "how dare you do this to your own mother", proceeds to compare her plight to that of a mother dying of cancer

Traveled a lot on other people's dime. Mostly sucked. Mostly out of obligation.

Went to Georgia, did absolutely nothing there except babysit

Went to Myrtle Beach South Carolina for a night. Rained the entire time. Found Cheerwine for the first time in ages.

Flew on a plain for the first time

Went to Memphis for a bachelor party with college buds. Friends not the same since I last saw them in bad ways.

Drove my aunt to Alabama to visit my sister. Became her punching bag for her anxiety and stress. Left a really nice fan there because of her.

Harrassed by my mother continually. Even sent police to my home for a welfare check

Loan companies harass me left and right. Deal to get most canceled is taking its sweet ass time and probably fell through for shitty reasons.

Birthday sucked

Another trip to Tennessee for a wedding, where I walked someone else's dog, was a bit awkward, rode in a limo for the first time where I showed off my ability to rap to flo rida lyrics, partied after the wedding, danced with a random girl, got hit on by the bride's aunts and cousins, was scouted for their daughters, got drunk for a bit and had a really good time

Halloween sucked

My favorite series releases a divisive game that I'm just meh about for the first time because of bad game design choices

Thanksgiving sucked

Mom apparently going online and denying doing anything to me and feigning ignorance to random strangers (who btw also think she's full of it), calling me a big momma's boy to strangers

My spark for writing waned and returned up and down. Lots of new projects, none ever finished

Forced to fly with my aunt up north. Really beautiful place, really good food, really nice people, and got to see snow. Received a nice carrying case and switch controllers from my sister, got to spend time with my nieces and bond with my nephew more

Also got really sick, my nieces were just continuously bad and my sister was mostly peeved because of it, aunt fell down the stairs (nothing broken, just a hurt leg) and now I have to take care of her AND my dad, flying back forced me to feel the most excruciating ear pain I've ever felt in my entire life TWICE and still have clogged ears from it

Was going to get a bit of money to make Christmas suck less. Loans rear their ugly head so I have to save for that.

Mom is on her bullshit again.

Attempted a positive journal. Got fed up with life's bullshit and couldn't keep it up anymore.

All year round: struggled with crippling depression and self esteem issues, broke as shit, sick as hell all year long with sinus and coughing issues, can't do shit about it. Also remained single all year because I'm broke, have no job and have terrible self esteem unless I'm drunk.

Overall a 3/10. Its 2016 part 2. The only way to save this year for me is to win a lottery of some kind and erase all financial and medical issues.

[tloaftyob]

6-27-21

It’s been a while. The rest of the semester went fine. I got all A’s, so that’s pretty good. Ellie and I are doing better than ever. Still engaged, probably gonna get officially married sooner than expected and just have a party for it later. I want the summer to be over so badly. I don’t like being home. The internet sucks, I am in the middle of nowhere, I miss my college friends, Ellie is 15 driving minutes away instead of 2 walking minutes, life is just generally better at college. I mowed today. I have been sick for a week, and I’m slowly feeling better. Ellie and I had sex a few days ago and she was really horny because she can smell when I’m sick and by instinct the smell makes her want to take care of me and make me feel good (such as with sex). I don’t know if I have ever mentioned this on here, but my only fetish is squirting and it’s a big one for me. Ellie doesn’t squirt except for a few times in specific situations, so sometimes I will ask her to just pee a bit. Long story short, that happened when we had sex while I was sick so that was really hot. She was on top a lot, which I really like. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that sex and it’s been almost a week since it happened. Today is the first day in a long time that we haven’t seen each other, but tomorrow I’m going to her house. I miss her a lot even after just a day away. She’s my best friend and I can’t imagine what I would do without her. One thing I should mention, we went on vacation in North Carolina from the 16th to the 21st and that was really fun. I got drunk for the first time, a little too drunk. The room was spinning ans it was only getting worse so I went to sleep as quickly as I could before it got too bad. That’s what happens when you chug 2 12oz four locos in 5 minutes. She also showed me some sexy lingerie she bought to surprise me. We had spontaneous shower sex after going to the beach. The beach was so fun but I forgot to sunscreen my shoulders so they got burnt pretty bad because we were there for like 2.5 hours. I was hungover a bit the morning after drinking (which was the morning of the day of going to the beach) ans tried to fée better with a shower. In the shower I tried to vom but nothing came out. Meh shmeh. We got Thai food and it was so fucking spicy I drank 2 or 3 water bottles with it. We went back to the beach later at sunset to get some nice pictures. The day after, we went to myrtle beach. I’m order, we did an escape room, ate at a restaurant, went to a candy shop, went to ripleys believe it or not, walked the board walk, drove to an old car museum, then went to medieval times, and then went to Broadway at the beach. Ellie and her friend Ellen were fucking trashed since medieval times because Ellie bought a bottle of Chardonnay, so Ellen’s boyfriend and I were there with them to hold their purses and make sure they were ok. We then drove an hour home and fell asleep. The next day was a rest day. We went to the beach again, but the waves were super harsh. Then we rested at the house some more. We got some ice cream and then played mini golf. The next day we went to an aquarium over ferry, and that’s when I started getting sick. It was a sore throat at first. We ate at a bbq place for dinner that night, it was really good. I wish I didn’t have a sore throat because I would’ve enjoyed it a lot more otherwise. We got me some halls on the way home. The next day, we left at 11, and had a 10 hour car ride ahead of us. I vommed on the way home, are some bojangles drove a bit so Ellie wouldn’t have to do the whole drive, and then got home and slept. Overall it was a fun time. I’m sleepy now because I have been writing this for 25 minutes and it is 2:05AM.

Last thing, I got a job as a private tutor for the summer, I really don’t like it that much. It is not fulfilling at all. I tried for so many internships and never even got an interview. I feel like such a failure. My friends who have been coding for 1/4 as long as I have got internships no problem, but I couldn’t even get a call back. I would make fine money if I had more hours, but even then I would not feel satisfied with my work. It’s only a summer thing, so whatever. Maybe I’ll contact a professor of mine who offered me a research opportunity and pick that up. My business partner also wants to move forward with a new idea. I don’t know what to do. I just need money.

Goodnight tumblr.

[food-advisor]

The Oat Milk Craze is not Going everywhere

I'm able to nevertheless recall my first sip of oat milk. The yr: 2016. The location: Butler café in Brooklyn, NY, some blocks from my vintage rental (the second espresso store within the city to carry it, I’d later analyze from the brand new Yorker).

 One steaming hot and rather creamy latte later, and I used to be obsessed—in conjunction with the relaxation of my hipster-foodie community, not wont to sleep on a steeply-priced plant-based milk fashion. Williamsburg saw what can only be described as a run on oat milk, and Oatly, the Swedish brand that delivered oat milk to the U.S., couldn’t hold up with the call for. Brooklynites got cranky—and desperate, some doling out $20 a quart on Amazon, as the brand new Yorker stated on the time. (I admit handiest to stocking up 3 cartons at a time whenever my grocer got a shipment.)

Four years later, that neighborhood oat milk scarcity has given way to a nationwide boon. With dollar income growing 1,946 percent over the last two years, in keeping with statistics suggested with the aid of marketplace studies firm SPINS, it’s the fastest-growing alternative milk. You could now get an oat milk latte at Dunkin’ and Starbucks, and probably an oat milk version of each dairy product at Wegmans and trader Joe’s: ice cream (scrumptious), cheese (meh), yogurt, butter, canned lattes. Bill Aimutis, Ph.D., director of the North Carolina meals Innovation Lab, tells SELF that he can see the nondairy wunderkind overtaking almond milk. “I suppose it'll maintain itself in terms of reputation, and preserve growing.”

So, what’s behind the continuing oat milk fervor?

First and main: have you ever tasted the stuff? The particularly creamy mouthfeel, the moderate sweetness. Soy milk (“the customer didn’t take care of the flavor”) and almond milk (“astringent in espresso”) were never capable of attaining flavor fandom in a much broader population, Aimutis says. Anecdotally, this tracks: In my circle of relatives’ fridge complete of various non-dairy kinds of milk, Oatly is the only one my dairy-dependable dad deems acceptable. And I will vouch for its tastiness directly up, on cereal, in espresso, and baked items. Oat milk emulsifies superbly in espresso—hence the latte craze—in contrast to most of its competitors. It additionally foams up fabulously in a homemade cappuccino, BTW. And “it’s excellent for baking,” Aimutis adds.

The science at the back of its traceability? “we adore sweet and we like fat, and with oat milk, you’re getting a bit of each,” Aimutis says. Many oat milks is more desirable with a little vegetable oil, which creates that buttery sensation of creaminess in your tongue, Aimutis explains. And that they often include a few sugars which are created at some point in the oat milk-making manner whilst a number of the oat starch breaks down into sugar molecules.

Oat milk has additionally got it going on from a vitamin angle. It’s allergen-pleasant—free of tree nuts, soy, and gluten. (not all brands are made in a gluten-unfastened facility even though, so test for the certification when you have celiac sickness.) many sorts don’t comprise delivered sugar, which some humans look for. And it enjoys a residual health halo from the industry’s advertising of oats as a heart-healthful meal, way to the LDL-reducing beta-glucan fiber—oat milk usually has one or two grams in step with a cup. “earlier than people even try oat milk, they’re aware of the fitness promoting activities of oats in well-known,” Aimutis explains.

Then there’s the s-phrase: Sustainability. “Oat milk [tells] a higher tale, from an angle of sustainability and impact at the environment, than even almond or cashew or coconut,” Aimutis says. Oats are cheap and smooth to grow. “we can plant oats every time we will plant wheat and corn, whereas cashews and coconuts best grow in sure tropical regions,” Aimutis explains. Developing and processing oats additionally calls for drastically much less work and water. “massive farmers can grow oats fairly without problems, while cashews and almonds are very exertions intensive [and] greater water-extensive.” (Almond milk’s bad PR due to its exorbitant water utilization has tainted my love of the stuff.) And with an efficient deliver chain, businesses can flip around new merchandise fast, Aimutis provides.

Last month, Oatly got the closing seal of cultural approval. Oprah invested inside the company, as did Jay-Z and Natalie Portman. The valuation? A cool billion greenbacks. Meanwhile, Aimutis is retaining his eye on new merchandise from “the following Oatlys of the arena.”

[magenta-storm]

Dickon, you absolute twit, why’d you have to get yourself killed like that, you poor big dumb puppy? (ngl though, the part of me that’s still mad at Billy after season 4 enjoyed it a little)

Fuck you Randyl, served you right. It was a bit sad when he touched Dickon’s arm, but fuck you, you’re still a terrible dad. And stupid. Seriously you decided to die for Cersei, why? It wasn’t out of loyalty, as Tyrion pointed out. So... just to be racist... apparently? What fucking morons. Sam obviously got his brains from his mother.

I love how the Citadel got the news so quickly when last season they didn’t even know that Jeor Mormont had died.

Dany, I hope that decision doesn’t come back to bite you in the ass. Maybe now Jorah’s back she’ll stop doing dumb things. Please god let her stop doing dumb things.

GENDRY. GENDRY GENDRY GENDRY!!!! thought you might still be rowing, oh my god, I died. Ridiculous fanservice, yes, but it was still hilarious.

I’m not sure if I entirely accept that it makes sense that’s he’s been in King’s Landing all this time, but meh.

Gendry, don’t you fucking DARE get yourself killed beyond the Wall before you see Arya again.

lol, I’m not sure weaponry skills are hereditary, but ok. Also not sure why he cares about his douchey dad...

Not sure I accept that Bronn dragged Jaime’s armour-clad ass all the way to the other side of the lake, but ok. Even if it was a river and they were washed downstream, it’s still a little hard to believe. But whatever, better than them being dead.

Excuse you Jaime, maybe show a bit of gratitude for Bronn saving your dumb ass?

Ugh. Just as it looks like maybe Jaime’s starting to grow a brain about Cersei, she’s pregnant? *groans for ten years* 

Also, if Cersei fucking does anything to Bronn, I will be so fucking mad. Also, how did Tyrion even get him a message? Varys’ little birds are compromised by Qyburn... but maybe he doesn’t know that? I’d have thought he’d have figured it out by now though.

I’m mad Bronn and Tyrion didn’t have a proper reunion scene.

How the actual fucking fuckballs has Bran been ‘north of the wall for years’ and then like two scenes later baby Sam is still a fucking baby?!?! Like, I can forgive Jon zipping to and from Dragonstone at the speed of light, we can’t have him spend the whole season traveling, but why the fuck would they even bother to include baby Sam when all it does is call attention to the screwy timeline?

The only possible reason I can imagine they bothered to recast Dickon just to kill him so quickly is if Sam’s going to inherit Horn Hill? Not that he should be able to with his vows and everything, but maybe if the White Walkers breach or destroy the Wall there won’t be enough Night’s Watch left to care if he leaves?

Not sure what to make of Rhaegar and Elia’s annulment. How do you annul two kids? I would have thought it would either be divorce or polygamy. I guess it was just so they could get the point across without saying Lyanna’s name, which Sam probably would have recognized, or at least took some notice of the name Stark. But still, just seems kinda stupid when they could have just gone with the polygamy thing. Seriously, how the fuck do you annul two kids? And without the permission of the King?

Jon patting Drogon was sweet and cool and also a bit weird. Why did he do that? Unless he was meant to be feeling some kind of compulsion to do it because of Targ blood, but I don’t think that really came across in his expression. It seemed more like just ‘lol why not pat a dragon?’ The way Drogon sniffed him was slightly hilarious. Like “...are you...” *dramatic sniff, dramatic blink* “yes you are!”

If that note was what I think it was, Arya and Sansa had better not have too big a fight over this. Having a confrontation and then sorting out their issues - great. Playing right into Littlefinger’s hands by having a huge rift come between them - terrible. They had better not do that TV thing where characters inexplicably refuse to explain their actions clearly and let the other party believe the worst possible version of events to draw conflict out longer. I fucking hate that so much.

Sidenote, I’m so fucking sick of Sansa’s ugly ass black dresses. Dress? With a weird little leather corset thing? Why?

If Jon and Arya don’t reunite this season I’m suing. Why couldn’t Jon look more happy about Arya being alive? Grr. They had better not fuck up that reunion and they’d better mention Needle.

I’m not sure what to make of the look on Dany’s face when she saw Jorah, and hugged him. It seemed really romantic, not sure it was supposed to be? I kinda ship Jorah x Dany, and think if any Dany pairing is going to happen in the show, it would make the most sense, but I also think it’d be weird to deviate that far from the books now.

If Jon and Dany are going to get together/get married, they haven’t done the best job setting it up. Didn’t Emilia and Kit used to date? lol, why the fuck can’t they manage to conjure up some better chemistry? Next to the Dany x Jorah reunion, it looked really noticeable that they don’t give a fuck about each other. lmao, Jon and Gendry had better chemistry in one scene! On the other hand though, if they were all over each other with sappy love at first sight bullshit it would ruin both their characters. It needs to be a bit more in the middle if that’s where they’re going with them.

[ladyoftherose]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements

Tagged by @vorrible THE LAST: 1. Drink: Sunkist 2. Phone call: my mom lol 3. Text message: “Thanks for the new cutlery sucker" 4. Weak by AJR 5. Time you cried: I cried a couple weeks ago when I was consistently sick and in pain but that's about it HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Haven't dated anyone once either so 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I kissed a dude in 1st grade on the head a few times and boy do I regret it 8. Been cheated on: Nope, haven't had anyone to cheat on me tho 9. Lost someone special: Ive lost a few relatives to cancer but no one extremely close 10. Been depressed: i don't know if I'd call it depression but I went through some shit 7th-10th grade? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don't drink lol LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Green, Blue and Red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yup 16. Fallen out of love: Kinda? 17. Laughed until you cried: I do all the time 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I have a hunch on a few people but tbh I'm used to it. 19. Met someone who changed you: Not particularly, I've reconnected with some old friends though. 20. Found out who your friends are: I already kinda knew but I suppose so. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahahaha no they are all relatives basically. GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 20/22 23. Do you have any pets: Hell yeah, I have a dog, guinea pig, betta fish and by extension my siblings have an iguana, turtle and hamster (and a slug apparently) 24. Do you want to change your name: I don't really like my name but I wouldn't get rid of it. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: It was on a Monday so I had to go to school but I got to pick what I wanted for dinner and i got a new iPhone so it worked out quite nicely. 26. What time did you wake up: I wake up multiple times before I actually get up, so like 12? My sleeping schedule is fucked lol 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playing skyblock with a friend and listening to music on my phone. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Being able to drive, having an income??? more free time, finding a boyfriend etc. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: few minutes ago because she's running around vacuuming. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I was more motivated to do shit and that I could draw better. 31. What are you listening right now: nothing atm 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: All the time with my best boi and friend @saddildosinc 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Passive aggressive people, figuring shit out for registering for college classes, actually practicing parking and getting my license done so my mom stops lowkey calling me lazy. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr and YouTube lol LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: I don't think I have any?? 36. Mark/s: I got some birthmarks on my hand and by my eye so that's cool. 37. Childhood dream: Wanted to be a vet but got talked out of it. If you mean dreams in general, i don't remember because I tend to have nightmares that make no sense lol 38. Haircolor: Goldish brown 39. Long or short hair: hella long boi 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope, Im not attracted to people very easily. 41. What do you like about yourself: I like my eyes and hair. Kinda like my legs too. 42. Piercings: I don't really want any nor do I have some. I think they look cool though. 43. Bloodtype: fuck if I know 44. Nickname: my friend called me snicklefritz once but otherwise none in particular. 45. Relationship status: Still single lmao 46. Zodiac: Aries 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV show: Steven Universe, Voltron, RWBY (if that counts?), Scrubs. 49. Tattoos: None and not rly interested but I think they are cool. 50. Right or left hand: Righty 51. Surgery: Nope. 52. Hair dyed in different color: One shade lighter than my actual color due to my mother and my sister's insistance. 53. Sport: I am shit at athletics so none. I like watching swimming and ice skating though. 54. (???? avoid) 55. Vacation: My family tends to go to a cottage up north during the summer for a week and i love being on a lake so 56. Pair of trainers: ??? No? MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I enjoy it? 58. Drinking: Very nice. 59. I’m about to: Go to the store w/ my mom and probs get lunch. 62. Want: To be motivated or at the very least have some more cash and less problems. 63. Get married: Boy I hope to someday my dude. 64. Career: Looking into medical technology but I have no distinctive interests other than Human Resources maybe. WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Both? Both is good. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Tallllll. 68. Older or younger: A bit older than I is cool. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Both again. 71. Sensitive or loud: I can b your angle or I can b ur devel. It depends lol. 72. Hook up or relationship: I'm all about that sweet sweet commitment so relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: If I get in trouble I'll likely cry or panic so hesitant. HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: I can't even kiss a friend honey. No. 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I've broken the frames of my glasses like 3 times but I don't lose them. 77. Turned someone down: Kinda? There's some real creepy people lol I just ignore them. 78. Sex on the first date: Hell no. 79. Broken someone’s heart: How the fuck should I know? No??? 80. Had your heart broken: Meh, a couple times I guess. 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: I cry even when cartoon characters die ofc I cry. 83. Fallen for a friend: Kinda but it wasn't meant to be lol DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: I don't even know. 85. Miracles: Sometimes. 86. Love at first sight: Attraction maybe, love? No. 87. Santa Claus: Nope. 88. Kiss on the first date: Depends if I knew the person already I guess. OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: I have many but the oldest is my good pal Lauren. 91. Eyecolor: Green I think. 92. Favorite movie: I like so many? Strange Magic I've watched a lot though. Tagging: @smilingwaters @deliciousfrenchfries @animalbks @the-rad-machine @p00kn00t @saddildosinc @misubito I tried

[tokupedia]

Kamen Rider 45th Anniversary File: Ghost

2016: 

The WORST YEAR IN RECENT RECORDED HUMAN HISTORY- The End

....

Okay, that’s a little unfair to you guys, let’s start over..

2016:

Ultraman Orb aired, concluded and is available on Crunchyroll.

Ultraman turns 50, having begun back in 1966.

Kamen Rider Amazons, a modern reimagining of the 1975 show Kamen Rider Amazon, premieres on Amazon Prime Japan two days before the date of Kamen Rider’s 45th Anniversary on April 1st. It is considered one of the darkest entries of the Kamen Rider franchise and is the first online exclusive Kamen Rider show.

The Magical Girl Genre, of which Sailor Moon, Cutie Honey, Pretty Cure and so many other super heroines are a part of, is now 50 years old thanks to Sally the Witch who was created way back in 1966 by Mitsuteru Yokoyama.

Go! Princess Pretty Cure ends and Mahou Girls PreCure! debuts.

Super Sentai reaches its 40th Season and 2,000th Episode with Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger! Anthropomorphic Animal Rangers fight to defend the Earth, with the help of a human zoologist. Also, we get a new version of Super Sentai Hero Getter and the Gokaigers make a guest appearance!

Anno, get in the chair! Hideaki Anno of Neon Genesis Evangelion fame takes control of the Godzilla franchise as Toho decides to start making Godzilla movies and media again locally with Shin Godzilla. This creates an interesting cinematic paradox where both Japan and America are making Godzilla simultaneously and both are successful and will have follow ups in the future.

Garo gets animated in 2015 and comes to America for the first time in 2016 on DVD courtesy of Funimation. (Thanks guys!)

Garo also gets an omnibus series in Garo: Makai Retsuden, collecting tales of supporting characters in the Garo franchise rather than focus solely on the Golden Knight (though a few bearers of the armor do appear in a few bits including Kouga!).

Toei declares the anniversaries of Kamen Rider and Super Sentai to be a “Super Hero Year” and dedicates the year doing projects to celebrate the occasion, including bringing back Hiroshi Fujioka as Takeshi Hongo/Kamen Rider 1 in a crossover movie with a brand new look!

On April 3, 2016, a staple of Japanese pop culture turned 45 years old. Then again, 2016 was a red letter date for anniversaries as so many things we loved hit a milestone number.

Given that, Toei decided to set a theme of “History” and the “Wonders of being alive” for the next series. So they chose a dead guy for their next hero...wait what? The overall theme was famous figures from history (and one fictional one) giving their powers to the heroes. So think Kid Eternity meets Danny Phantom. 

Ghost did have interesting designs, courtesy of Kamen Rider and Ishinomori super-fan and manga artist Kazuhiko Shimamoto and his studio Big Bang Productions as well as Blend Master (though from what I could gather they got shafted when it came time for Mugen form). The Rider Ghosts all wear hoodie jackets and their method of transformation is a variation on Gaim where the “ghost parka” floats around the user before descending onto the armor.

Yes, but see, Ghost is the first series I kind of...stopped watching. It had promise and a likable hero, but fell flat in the last third as it meandered its plot around. As it turns out, we have our old “pal” Shinichiro Shirakura to thank for that, as he let go of the writers halfway into the show and had them replaced (Ep. 24 is where things started to change). You would think he would learn to leave well enough alone, but because Toei was running two Rider Shows at once, cuts apparently needed to be made. 

A noticeable cut was the dropping of motorcycle helmet manufacturer Shoei as a sponsor, as Toei went with its competitor Arai. This was a bit shocking given that Shoei has supported the series since the late Showa Era by providing safety equipment.

Also not helping was that Bandai kinda went nuts on the shilling of merchandise and didn’t give this series much room to breathe, making some of the forms or devices the Riders used feel tacked on or just filler after being seen just once. 

Still the show had its good moments, the messages about life, how an individual’s life impacts others and living it are inspiring. I have even heard whispers of some who thought of committing suicide saying that this series inspired them to keep on living and not give up. 

One especially touching story of the power of Takeru Tenkuji was written in the Asahi Shimbun about a sick toddler who was afraid to take his medicine. However, seeing Kamen Rider Ghost face danger head on and a special message from Shun Nishime inspired the adorable tyke to take his medicine. It showcases the kind of impact this “silly superhero show” as some deride it as has had on generations of Japanese citizens as a franchise. Being a super hero in acting sometimes rubs off and makes the person playing them aspire to live up to that symbol or be better people.

It should be noted that this series also has a few winks and nods to the Kamen Rider Series. The mailman who delivers packages is named Mr. Onodera (the birth name of Shotaro Ishinomori), a computer in the wall of the basement of Tenkuji Temple is a prop used for Shocker bases, a continuity nod to the preceding series is shown in a flashback and one company in the world of the series is the Sengoku Corporation.

But let’s move on...

LIFE! BURN BRIGHT!

DAI KAIGAN! FILE OMEGA DRIVE!

(The late Mr. Tenkuji, circa 2016)

Real Name: Takeru Tenkuji (I love Marvel Style alliterative names, so amusing.)

As the opening narration every episode informs viewers:

“My Name is Takeru Tenkuji, on my 18th birthday I was killed by a Gamma and I became Kamen Rider Ghost.” 

Takeru Tenkuji is the son of a famous Ghost Hunter, Ryu Tenkuji, and during one of his hunts, Ryu is killed by a ghost. This leaves Takeru an orphan and is taken in by a disciple of Ryu’s temple, the monk Onari (who has taken a vow of Ham instead of silence or singing). Takeru also grows up with Akari, his childhood friend, whom grows into more of a scientist with a skeptical view on ghosts.

Takeru is trained by Onari to be a Ghost Hunter and on his 18th birthday receives a strange package from Mr. Onodera, a gift from his late father that contained an eyeball-like orb. He has no time to investigate, as something invisible begins attacking them: The Gamma, evil spirits from another dimension.

Takeru manages to fend off these monsters for a bit to protect Akari and Onari, but the Katana Gamma slices Takeru up and he dies.

But death is not the end of our hero as a mysterious figure and a talkative snarky spook appear and the old man offers the boy a chance to live again. Sennin, as he calls himself, bestows Takeru with a belt like device and says he can return to life for 99 days as a ghost and regain his life permanently by finding the 15 Heroic Eyecons of famous people and can become a Kamen Rider to stop the Ganma from getting their hands on them. If Takeru fails, he dies for good.

He is sent back and defeats the Gammas,using his own soul as a source of power in an Eyecon for the Ghost Driver to become Kamen Rider Ghost. Yurusen tells him the rules of being a ghost and eventually lets Onari and Akari in on what is going on. They help him find the heroic Eyecons, with Onai setting up a paranormal investigation and elimination agency (No, not that one, though we do get Akari acting kinda Egon-ish at times.). Akari creates ghost-busting equipment to defeat the weaker grunts of the Gamma or hold them off until Takeru arrives, though she is still skeptical on the supernatural and believes that Ghosts can be explained scientifically . Together they fight the Gamma, collect the Eyecons, meet new allies and enemies! 

During one event, Kamen Rider Drive was in his final battle and had a near death experience. Somehow entering the realm of the dead, Ghost told Shinnosuke not to go into the afterlife (resembling a black void). Drive’s old foes come out of the void and Ghost fends their “ghosts” off (why do androids have ghosts? Meh, Comics.) while Shinnouske goes toward the light, which wakes him up. He later encounters Ghost again during a case and this directly ties into the series as it involves the Newton Eyecon (though canonicity is a bit wobbly).

Despite my “meh” attitude on the series now in its later end, looking back Takeru is the most likable Rider as he goes above and beyond what it means to be a hero, selflessly giving to save others even at the risk of his own soul when he himself has so much he could lose. He perfectly encapsulates what a Kamen Rider is at times.

Powers:

Like any classic ghost of standard media, Takeru can walk through walls, disappear and fly (well, more like floating and super agility until Mugen form). Takeru can also read a person’s soul/mind and see their memories by touching them or their soul if it is removed from the body. He also has a sorta “Rider Sense”, as he can sense some powerful evil spirits.  Since he is already dead (*insert Fist of the North Star Joke here*), Takeru cannot be severely harmed in any way and is near invulnerable, but not invincible. Spirit mediumship allows him to talk to ghosts.

Takeru can become solid like a human being if his emotional state is positive and he can create powerful barriers when he is in an emotional state where he does not want to be bothered by anyone.

Eyecon Powers:

Musashi: Skilled Swordsmanship

Edison: Electricity Generation/Absorption and elemental weapon augmentation. Enhanced thinking ability via electrical stimuli

Robin Hood: Expert Marksmanship, barrier shield, Energy Arrows, Cloning ability.

Issac Newton: Gravity manipulation pulses on a very powerful scale, as it can levitate heavy landmasses. Able to attract or repel objects and deliver powerful blows or immobilize targets.

Beethoven: Sound and music manipulation, literally as it creates constructs of music notes made of pure sound. Sonic blasts.

Billy the Kid: Expert Gun marksmanship, More Dakka, sniping abliity.

Benkei: Super strength, weapon mastery, energy constructs, concussive hit, localized seismic generation, Stop, Hammer Time!.

Toucon Boost: Kill it with Fire (generation powers)

Goemon: Super speed.

Ryoma: ???

Himiko: Magic abilities

Ikkyu: Levitating, able to summon stuffed Tigers from paintings to bite Gamma. 

Mugen: High defense, flight via rainbow wings and maximum attack power

He can utilize his emotions as weapons in Mugen form, feeling a specific emotion will allow him to execute a certain attack. 

Weaknesses:

Ghost still can die if time on his life extension runs out or his Ore Eyecon is destroyed as that contains his soul. 

Despite being immune to most damage, Takeru can still feel pain as spirit and the overwhelming sensation of intense pain could cause him to pass out. He also suffered from a bit of self-confidence issues at first but later improves. If the Heroic Spirits refuse to work with him, this could weaken him or render his powers in Grateful form unbalanced at best or to shut down at worst. The Eyecons can be swiped and used by other Ghost Drivers, even making the spirit inside the Eyecon act against their will in some cases. 

Ghost is also not immune to electricity in certain forms such as Musashi, as he becomes a walking lightning rod. Though Edison negates this due to its powers. If a mystical barrier is up, Takeru cannot phase though an object. 

His ability to talk to the dead is a bit problematic, as nobody but him can see them and as a result he looks beaucoup cuckoo to muggles as it looks like he’s talking to himself. (Though Akari comes up with a way for normal humans to see ghosts and whomever is mortal that holds a Ghost Eyecon can see them as well)

Now that he can use his powers as a living person, he can die again using any of the conventional means.

Gear:

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Ghost_Driver

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Ghost_Eyecons

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Ghost_Gadgets

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Gan_Gun_Saber

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Newton_Damashii_Gloves

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Machine_Ghostriker

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Captain_Ghost

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Iguana_Ghostriker - Don’t ask me what Ghosts have to do with Iguanas, it is what it is.

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Eyecon_Driver_G

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Sunglasseslasher

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Deep_Slasher

Enemy:

The Gamma

http://kamenrider.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Gamma

The Gamma are a race extra-dimensional beings that are like ghosts. They have several objectives, one is to find Eyecons to grant themselves greater power. If they cannot find one, they try to create one by corrupting a human until they go mad and extract their soul to create an Eyecon. 

The last one is to turn the human world into another Gamma World so that a “Deathless utopia” can come...by killing the original world’s inhabitants or converting them into Gamma. Gamma are actually humans who wanted to escape death, but their plans didn’t work out.

[chara-killer-bear]

ALL U TRASH BEAN

1. What is you middle//full name?

Alias: Sally Janches

Real Middle Name: Jane Deveza

2. How old are you?

15 turning 16 in 4 days

3. What is your birthday?

January 27, 2001

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Aquarius uvu

Chinese zodiac would be the snake~

5. What is your favorite color?

Redish-pink or a really dark shade of blue

6. What’s your lucky number?

4 or 8 or 16

7. Do you have any pets?

A cat named Peter and a few goldfish that are floating about in the tank atm :”)

8. Where are you from?

Santa Clara, California

9. How tall are you?

4′9″ to 4′11″ sadly :”)

10. What shoe size are you?

flats it’s a 3 or 3 ½ and with sneaker it’s a 5 or a 6–

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

More than 25 that’s for sure–

12. What was your last dream about?

Last dream was something revolving around some fantasy plot– I forgot what most of it was- but the only thing I remember was that I was tryna exit the dream or something and this wizard is all like “in order to escape you need to forget” and I’m like “lmao let’s get this over with”

13. What talents do you have?

- Whistle

- Went through the suffering process of drawing

- Be a meme

14. Are you psychic in any way?

For some reason through dreams–

Y’know in all honesty I remember there was this particular vision I had in the middle of 6th grade and still traumatizes me to this day but you’d probs have to bug me a bit before I actually tell ya

15. Favorite song?

- Jenny by Studio Killers

- Say You Like Me by We the Kings

- Pretend by Bad Suns

- Rather Be by Clean Bandit

- Dead Hearts by Stars

16. Favorite movie?

- Coraline :”)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

@static–things​

18. Do you want children?

Only the future will tell–

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Not sure–

20. Are you religious?

Just a bit– But not one of those hardcore religious people– Just a lil–

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

A few times– Although mostly because I was a small child and I kept getting sick a lot–

I remember we had to perform surgery on me when I was a toddler because there was something wrong with the gums on my teeth

I was really close to going to the hospital when I was around 8-10 because I was struck with a really high fever and my body was close to dying, until my mom force fed me to eat a whole bunch of healthy foods, I threw up many times, and the next day I was fine. According to my mom, I was in that bad of a condition probably because my grandma kept starving me from food when my fever began.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Got scot-free though

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I would say the Prince of India, since my uncle’s sister is married to him and I was at their wedding– I was probably around 7-8 at the time though

24. Baths or showers?

Showers :”)

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Pink

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nah– I’m just your average nerd who just needs Internet to live :”)

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Nah–

28. What type of music do you like?

I really don’t have a particular type of music I like– 

Well, except Christmas songs– If they count–

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

0-1 

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

I think it’s called fetal position???

32. How big is your house?

1 room

1 living room

1 kitchen

1 creepy ass hallway

1 bathroom

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Mostly I don’t even eat breakfast, but when I do it’s just mostly things I can cook fast, like pizza or ramen–

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Sadly nah :”)

35. Have you ever tried archery?

:”)

36. Favorite clean word?

Oh my goodness–

or

Oh golly goodness

37. Favorite swear word?

F U CKITY FUCKERTONS

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

1 week :”)

39. Do you have any scars?

Yeah– burn scars; one each on my arms and one on my ankles–

I’m pretty sure I have a scar on the back of my neck–

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I don’t know- do I?

41. Are you a good liar?

I’m not even sure anymore–

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Maybe??? I’m not sure???

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Sorrey eye onley spek Engliph

44. Do you have a strong accent?

Meh– Not really–

45. What is your favorite accent?

ENGLISH ACCENT OR MAYBE SCOTTISH

46. What is your personality type?

ENFP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Honestly this coat I have lying around that’s around $40–

I probably have another article of clothing that’s much more expensive than that but I can’t name any atm–

48. Can you curl your tongue?

T A C O T O N G U E

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Ambidextrous!

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Nah– I find them interesting~ 

52. Favorite food?

SPAM M A S U B I

53. Favorite foreign food?

PALABOK

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

If I were a clean person I would know where tf my Kindle is now :”)

55. Most used phrased?

- jfc

- G OLLY GOODNESS

- FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

- Hello darkness my old friend-

56. Most used word?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

A good 30 minutes of me actually getting ready :”)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

At some level, but not egoistic

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Bite :”)

But whenever I’m working on something mostly I just suc

60. Do you talk to yourself?

H eh, well according to @static–things​ apparently I do–

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Every day :”)

62. Are you a good singer?

Nah

63. Biggest Fear?

h EI G H T S

64. Are you a gossip?

Not sure–

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I guess There Will Be Blood? There’s probably a more dramatic movie I watched but the first thing that popped up when it comes to drama is There Will Be Blood

66. Do you like long or short hair?

Meh– 

Both?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

1- California

2- Texas

3- New York

4- Oregon

5- Washington

6- Idaho

7- Wisconsin

8- Utah

9- Colorado

10- New Mexico

11- Oklahoma

12- North Dakota

13- South Dakota

14- Kansas

15- Arkansas

16- Maryland

17- Massachusetts

18- Nevada

19- West Virginia

20- Vermont

21- Pennsylvania

22- Montana 

23- Tennessee 

24- Wyoming

25- Michigan

26- New Jersey

27- New Hampshire

28- Ohio

29- Hawaii

30- Alaska

31- Florida

32- Louisiana

33- Illinois

34- Nebraska

35- Missouri

36- North Carolina

37- South Carolina

38- Iowa

39- Kentucky

40- Indiana

41- Alabama

42- Georgia

43- Virginia

44- Connecticut 

45- Delaware

46- Rhode Island

47- Maine

48- Minnesota

Aaaaaaaaand I’ll end it there

68. Favorite school subject?

HISTORY AND ENGLISH

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

I’d like to say both–

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope :”)

71. What makes you nervous?

Many things:

- anxiety

- the ever-so impending fear of people leaving me, people hating me, etc.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Nope–

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Sometimes–

Mostly just to be an ass lmao

74. Are you ticklish?

Yep :”)

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

… h eh

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Nah– I’d panic if that happened though

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Nope–

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Hell nope–

79. Who was your first real crush?

First real crush would either be this guy named Aaron or another guy named Lam

80. How many piercings do you have?

2- considering they’re ear piercings

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrojo

82. How fast can you type?

Last time I checked it was around 72.9 WPM

Lemme check again

87.9 WPM

83. How fast can you run?

Faster than the chaser that’s for sure–

84. What color is your hair?

Dark brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Brown

86. What are you allergic to?

Well one thing for sure is hot dogs–

I swear, redirecting to 21, my fever started because of this hot dog I ate at Target-

So in summary of chain of events, first I ate a hot dog at Target with my grandma back when my hot dog allergy wasn’t as bad as it is now- and before my grandma drove me to her workplace(because back in the day my dad was no where to be seen, my mom had to work, and since I had no where else to go to after school, that’s when my grandma stepped up and decided to take me to her workplace every after school despite her boss telling her she can’t)

After my grandma drove me from all the way to Rosemead to LA where her workplace is at, I felt like dizzy and sick for some unknown reason at the time but thought it would pass. There was this room that was dedicated for my use only in my grandma’s work because no one used it, and it had a huge couch. So I pretty much crashed on that couch, waited for the dizziness to pass, and slept. 

Next thing you know it, I woke up and in an instant I threw up both on the couch and on the carpet floor(which would explain why a few days after they got rid of the couch and the stain on the carpet remained forever as this black blotch among the original red hue of the surrounding carpet. They were bound to get rid of that couch anyways; my grandma always told me that it used to be owned from the past establishment it was before it was an eye clinic- which was a morgue. So basically not only did I sleep on a couch that was sat on doctors sucking the blood out of dead people, but it could possibly be soaked with dead people’s blood.)

Right after that happened, I kept hurling in the bathroom, and when it came to the time where my grandma had to leave the clinic, my grandma gave me a bucket for me to throw up in case I do- and pretty much the following night I felt like shit- couldn’t breathe most of the time, felt hot everywhere, absent from school for at least a week or so because I felt that horrible, and almost had to go to the hospital, but ironically felt better when I threw up after my mom force fed me food. 

87. Do you keep a journal?

Not anymore– Unless notes on iPad and Chromebook count–

88. What do your parents do?

Secret~

89. Do you like your age?

16 MY FAVORITE NUMBER

90. What makes you angry?

- If someone hurts any one of my loved ones

- Bigotry

91. Do you like your own name?

Meh- Could change it to Sally

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Not really–

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Maybe girl~ It’s not like I really care that much though, girl or boy or nonbinary, I’ll still love them the same

94. What are you strengths?

BE A M E M E

95. What are your weaknesses?

Not sure–

Depends from person to person I guess–

96. How did you get your name?

Honestly my mom thought I was going to be born a Capricorn, and since she had way too many bad experiences with Capricorns, she thought it would be a good idea to name me a name that sounded “spunky”, which is a trait she kinda disliked. However jokes on her, I was born late, thus I turned out to be an Aquarius, and now I turned out to be a smartass. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Don’t recall so–

98. Color of your room?

White/Beige

99. Color of your bedspread?

Can’t say for certain– I would say either white or patterned–

100. Make up your own question

Favorite type of milk?

Strawberry milk~