#got requested to draw a thing within 48 hours and i was still going through med school stuff

[x-crowmancer-x]

This birb fuckin BRIGHT

[blissfulalchemist]

💋 #48 for catraf

Thank you for sending this one in Kate. I hope you enjoy it!

48. One person has to bend down in order to kiss their partner, who is standing on their tip-toes to reach their partner’s.

The house wasn’t as grand as she had imagined it would be, still bigger than other houses in the Whitetails, just not as grand. Maybe that was her own perception of who Rafael was affecting the reality. In her mind he was someone that never seemed to fit a place like this, needed to live beyond these mountains where he could experience the culture he admired so much….and yet he always ended up back here for some reason or another, Catlina had just never thought to ask why. Cat paused looking from the treeline, listening for the planes overhead, not that any of them could spot her or the car from up there, still she parked a ways away walking the rest of the way, bag in hand.

Silence fell around the house, Cat taking a deep breath, the snapping of twigs filling the space as she approached the door. She knocked, looking over her shoulder, Lance was starting to make her too paranoid, no one would think to look for her. There was no answer and she knocked again louder, eyes searching for a doorbell. Still nothing. Cat pursed her lips, crossing her arms, “You said you’d be here, you jerk,” she mumbled under her breath. She leaned against the wall of the house, “Maybe you’re in the back.” 

Cat walked around looking for any sign of movement, stretching to peek into the higher placed windows. By the time Cat got to the back door, she knocked once more knowing there would be no answer. You’re never late Captain, she thought as she tested the door knob, Or am I just stupid early. The knob gave way, Cat’s eyes going wide, “Please let that just be my brute strength.” The sound of a jet engine over head had Cat quickly duck for cover into the house shutting the door behind her, heart racing. 

Cat blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the lower light as she breathed, counting slowly. She found herself in his kitchen, a small table near her with the rest of the house open to her. Cat placed the bag on the small table stepping further in, smiling as she passed, the whole place in perfect order. If it weren’t for the small touches that indicated something falling to the wayside for a few hours Cat would have thought it a Better Homes and Garden style house. 

She ran her fingers over the end table and couch, this was his….all of it a part of him somehow. So much of it familiar, knowing who Raf was, and yet so much a surprise as it felt like she’d invaded his mind in some way. He kept a good front, much like this living room, but if one looked closer and you could see past it, like the books their full subjects laid out before her or the CDs stacked ever so, the order of them to his own liking and a mystery to her. The cello, packed away in its case, sat upright in a corner with a chair placed next to it along with a music stand. 

Her shoes padded softly as she let herself come near it, the case opening with ease. Cat inhaled sharply as she took in the glossy wood, the silver strings with their dull shine and the ends of them coated in the white powder that seemed to never leave no matter how much one cleaned. The neck showed signs of needing repolishing from the amount of times that his left hand must have run up and down it. The bow, strapped to the front of the case, had its hair loosened and made her fingertips have a slight stick after touching them, before she moved them over to the strings, plucking them softly. Her memories of which string was what note lost to her, but the sound they brought to her ears gave indication that they were all in tune with how they harmonized with each other. 

“And here I thought you’d be more into painting and drawing more,” she whispered, closing the case, “but I’ve yet to see an easel anywhere.” Cat made her way over to the stereo, touching each case, many of them unknown to her, from their style to their names in languages she couldn’t comprehend. She pushed play, looking over the singular case sitting on top of it. The starting piano sounded like one she’d hear play in movies set in medieval times or the seventeen hundreds, corsets and ball gowns flitting through her mind. It was slower of a song with what may have been a guitar chiming in before a woman’s voice filled the room.

The imagery of masquerade balls and people dancing with smiles beneath their masks dissipated as the song continued. Cat couldn’t place the language or even begin to understand each individual word within it, but she felt herself become unmoving as the music became the only thing in that house. Her heart sank, finding herself clutching the CD case to her chest, the droplets of water falling onto her hands slowly. None of it registered as real, losing herself in the sounds of what she guessed was a saxophone before the woman’s voice started once more. Her chest ached, the cool metal on her wrist turned to ice, her throat closed in on itself, she wanted nothing more than to scream. 

Cry out.

 Grief

 This was grief. 

The same emotions she’d pushed back long ago now spilling through the cracks, her knees weakening beneath her. The song was coming to its close and she was once again able to feel the buttons on the stereo hitting pause as the final notes played. Her breathing like gasps, fingertips lingering, the tears coming in waves as she worked to stop them. 

“Lamento Della Ninfa,” his voice, while soft, startled her, turning as she wiped away at her face, seeing Raf lean against the wall, eyes looking her over.

“Wh-Uhm,” Cat shook her head, swallowing, “When did you get here?” She looked down, hair blocking her face from his eyes seeming to look right through her. 

He gave a small shrug, stepping closer to her, “Not that long ago. Maybe about halfway through the song.” Raf reached for her hand, uncurling her fingers still gripping the case, “Are you okay?”

Far from it, “Yeah,” Cat cleared her throat, “Yeah I am.”

He gave her a small smile, “You’re a bad liar you know that?”

“Only because everyone likes to assume I’m not lying,” the notes of the song were finally leaving her mind, feeling the way his hand, warm and comforting, cupped her cheek.

“Cat,” he said softly, thumb wiping away the last of lingering tears, “you know you can talk to me about anything right?”

She nodded, pulling away from him, hand gripping her wrist that held the leather bracelet, “Where’s the bathroom? I should freshen up.” He looked at her as if to say more before letting out a low breath, nodding, showing her way to a small guest bathroom. Cat let out a gasp as she leaned against the door. He saw her cry, saw as that song gripped her, tearing out the pieces of her heart she forced away before even coming to Montana. “You can talk to me about anything,”, Anything but that. She looked down to the ring, turning it to read the inscription, In Brightest Day. In Blackest Night, “In fearful day, in raging night,” she let out a sigh, “Telling them changes everything,” Cat took the bracelet off placing it secure in her pocket, turning the water on. She dabbed at her face with the warm water, putting on her best face, standing straighter. Raf never needed to know, for all he knew she just cried because of its beauty and not the emotions being locked away once more. 

Once satisfied she made her way back out to the house, hearing him move about the kitchen area. He gave her a smile as she stepped through, “I want to assume you came in through the back door.” She nodded, “Really have to fix that now. Damn wolverine,” she gave a light laugh as he held up a box claiming to be an easy installation door knob, “Why I was running a bit late.”

Cat laughed, taking the box from him, “Oh is that why,” she looked it over, “We could probably do this right now if you’d like.”

“Don’t have the right screwdriver,” he pointed out, “I’ll do it tomorrow after I get one from Wes later tonight.”

She looked the box over, “Oh you don’t need it, per se,” she moved the box away from him as Raf made a grab for it, “So long as you have some scissors or some sturdy metal that we can bend, or hell a flat head screwdriver could work.”

“No,” he smiled reaching for it again, “There’s a reason it calls for you to use that specific kind of tool.”

Cat giggled stepping up onto the chair closest to the wall, “It’s highly suggested,” she lifted the box above her head, just out of his grasp, “Besides if it was really required that would be discrimination against poor people.”

Raf paused, “What do you mean discrimination? Everyone should have a tool set available to them, Conejito,” he huffed as the box moved higher, Cat standing on her toes, “Give me the box back please.”

She shook her head, smiling, “If that’s true about the tools Mr. Estrada, then where’s your tool set?”

She smirked, tilting her head, “You might get to see it later if you just give me the damn box back.” Cat bit her lower lip, standing as high as she could as he made one more grab for the box.

She laughed, “I see why Wes likes being so tall now,” she taunted, “It’s a real power trip.”

“Pretty sure he didn’t get a say in the matter, much like you.”

“Rude.”

“Now can you please give me the box back?”

Raf held his hand out, “For a kiss,” Cat requested, standing as tall as she could.

He sighed, “You’re not making it fair you know?”

“Big guy like you,” she bent down, “I’m sure you can figure out something.”

She tapped her lips, leaning down more, keeping her balance on her toes, as Raf moved to meet her halfway. Their lips met and her heart raced, feeling the softness of his, her head spinning as her arms lowered resting on his shoulders….she couldn’t ever get enough of him. She’d lost count of the amount of times they kissed and still each one felt like that first one he reciprocated. Cat’s eyes opened quickly as the box left her hand, his arm wrapping around her waist, “Thank you for that,” Raf said triumphantly, lifting her off the chair, the middle of her body landing on his shoulder. Cat’s mouth fell open as he carried her out of the kitchen, “I said I would do it tomorrow and that’s that.”

“Raf,” Cat whined, “This isn’t fair and you know it,” she hit his back lightly, “Now put me down so I can be a man and fix your damn door knob.”

“You saying I’m not man enough,” he placed her on the sofa, the box sitting on the end table, straddling her, “I’m sure I can change your mind on that right now.”

Cat rolled her eyes, “I’m not saying that, but you have the help, you might as well use it in case something goes wrong.” Cat’s instincts to roll her hips against him threatened to take over as they looked at each other, Cat swallowing, “I’m just trying to be nice.”

“How much time do you really have for the day?” His fingers caressing her neck and collarbone, “Might have to prioritize.”

“I always make sure I have the most time I can spend with you,” the blood running to her cheeks, her breathing becoming slower, “So plenty of time to do as much as you want.”

Raf smiled, “Alright,” he lifted himself off of her, “Let me go and get what you need.”

Cat scoffed, “You tried to lie to me?”

“I like to call it prioritizing,” he laughed, making his way to a closet near the front of the house, “Didn’t want to waste time with a house project,” he pulled out a case filled with the basics one would need, “Let’s get to work shall we.”

The ordeal proved to be a little more complicated than was advertised on its packaging. It did, after some bickering on what the instructions meant, get to a point where eventually only one pair of hands was needed and given the small space was left to Cat to complete. The house didn’t stay silent as Raf took to practicing, some of the tunes familiar to Cat as she hummed along, tightening the last of the screws. She stood testing out the door, making sure it was as it should be before watching as Raf played.

Eyes entranced by the way his arms moved gracefully, the wings on his shoulders beating in time to the music, lifting him with the swell of the notes. The way his fingers moved along the neck of the instrument, the way his hand seemed to vibrate, elongating the notes that were held longer than others, mesmerizing. The slight sway of his body as he played, the curls falling into his eyes, closed as he concentrated, seeming to play this piece from memory, lost in the sounds, doing what Cat could only assume was connecting to the music, Raf’s mind leaving his body. 

Sooner than Cat would have liked, he stopped, the piece coming to a close. Raf smiled, his dark brown eyes sparkling looking through his fallen hair, “No applause?”

Cat rolled her eyes as he laughed, making her way towards him. Raf stood readying to put the instrument away, “No,” Cat placed her hand on his, “Play it one more time?” He looked down at her, “Please,” she whispered. He nodded, taking a seat, Cat grabbing a pillow, sitting behind the chair, head resting against the back of it. 

“Anything specific?”

“No,” she closed her eyes, “Just something beautiful.” Raf gave a quick nod, clearing his throat, getting himself into position. The notes were low to start, slow and long, the vibrations running along her spine. Cat smiled as the piece picked up and she could feel Raf becoming lost again, letting herself get lost along with him. The notes came to an end too quickly, Cat’s heart sinking. Her eyes remained closed as she whispered, “One more, Rafael, please. Just one more.”

Let’s get lost for just a little bit longer….

[9w1ft]

☔️

it’s been about a month now since TSL shut down. i’ve been thinking of how best to summarize my thoughts on the odd things that happened to me there and i’ve decided it’s best to split my thoughts up into a few posts. this is my first!

so, for starters! drumroll pleaaaaaase 🥁 i would like to clear the air.. i am very excited to say that i have properly identified and spoken to the real KalindaKing!

you may or may have noticed before the app shut down, but KalindaKing actually @‘d me in one of her final posts on the app, saying she had seen my theory but that sadly she is an only child.

unfortunately, yes, KalindaKing was not Kimby Kloss. i uhh, take it she herself confirmed it for me recently!

actually, about a month after posting my theory, a mutual of mine tipped me off to a social media post that seemed to be from someone who might be KalindaKing (the gist of the post was, to paraphrase, i saw a theory that i’m karlie’s sister. i wish!), and i had been keeping tabs on it for some time. the post did not get any traction (no likes, no shares) so there was no way to verify if it was related, but doing some digging and cross-referencing photos and whatnot i was left plenty suspicious.

So about 3 months went by after i had my lede on who it could be, and then 48 hours away from app shutdown KalindaKing @‘d me on TSL... so i decided to take the jump and direct message the suspicious person on social media. and, we had a match! it was her!

Can i just say she is just as delightful as she was on TSL? it was an honor to chat with her. turns out she is an active moderator under the same username on another app by the same company.

actually, 😂 the KK part is really a funny coincidence.. see, the moderator who went by the username KalindaKing on TSL originally created that username for herself because she is a moderator on the Kim Kardashian Hollywood app under the same username (she gave me permission to say that), and, alliteration, so go figure! it would appear i exquisitely took my conjectures a twist too far.

this moderator is a professional, so she did not disclose that much to me, but I was able to learn that the ‘TheSwiftLife’ account was the responsibility of her and someone else. She mentioned that Social (ie twitter/fb) was run by her. Someone else was helping out on the TSL app, ie, that account that gave out those persnickety taymoji gifts on the app. 🤨

for those of you who followed my theory closely, this newly confirmed information has likely allowed you to come to the same heartening conclusion that i did: this means that the “message to taylor” function on the app is in all likelihood indeed something that only taylor can see, or, isn’t accessible to just any glu employee. yes, those personal private messages to her were in fact kept private 🥰. that is to say, leading up to my big guess post, i had disclosed the content of my guess (that kimby was KalindaKing) using this function, asking for the go ahead here on tumblr. my theory is whoever the someone is that was helping out with the TheSwiftLife account did not have access to my secret messages, and that’s where the miscommunication between me and them occurred. oops...

if you are new here, you are probably wondering how sound this logic could be. it would also seem to be completely possible that the TheSwiftLife account simply didn't know i existed / had never read anything from me / had never interacted with me through the app.

to that i say:

i now have proof that at least one moderator from the app read my theory back in October 2018

i now have proof that the same moderator @‘d me in response to the theory 48 hours before the app closed on February 1st, despite having know about it for three months.. so i take it that it merited addressing

let me walk you through a sampler of five ‘interactions’ that occurred with me and TheSwiftLife between August and October of last year:

interaction one: 8/1 Puzzle Heart..

after showcasing some interest in the taymoji gifts and crafting my theory of what they meant, i had seen a through line in terms of the overall message being conveyed but was unsure of any of this was real. i posted here on tumblr for the taymoji gods to send me sign, and the TheSwiftLife account gave out a puzzle heart with the flavor text “put the pieces together” the chances of that taymoji being picked to be given out are, i would say, 1/128 chances. the gift giving was mainly from within a pool of the 64 song-based taymoji packs and always of one of the two rare taymoji from either pack, so, 64x2=128

interaction two, 8/29 Rabbit...

following a week of ttb using the emoji rabbit to welcome some anons into the kaylor fandom, TheSwiftLife gave out a rabbit with the flavor text “Fell down the rabbit hole...”

interaction three: 9/12 Pixels..

things felt surreal following the rabbit... so i asked TSL here on tumblr to show me a sign that proved they knew me and saw me. i said there was one taymoji out of them all (of which there are 653) that represented me. i had hoped for the pixel art heart taymoji, as it says in my profile here that i am a pixel artist... i assumed if TSL wanted to respond to my request, they’d poke around my blog and make that connection. 13 days after i made the post, they gave out that exact one. in response, i mentioned what a lovely birthday present this was, as it was coming 13 days before my birthday (i’m born on 9/25)

interaction four: 9/21 Balloons...

between the pixel heart and this next gift, i came to the conclusion that kimby could be spearheading the TheSwiftLife account (given an interaction between this blog and kimby’s instagram stories involving a yacht company), and, as i love cheesy things, i made the extra (flawed) assumption that, given KalindaKing appeared to be a pen name, it would be super duper ingenious if the KK stood for Kimby Kloss. i sent this prediction in the “secret message for taylor” function on TSL, assuming (incorrectly) whoever was on the other side could read it, and posted here on tumblr simply that “i know who you’ve been, and i take it you want me to share?” The next gift that TheSwiftLife gave out were a set of red balloons from the Mine pack, with the caption “Speak now if it’s your birthday this month”

interaction five: 10/1 Umbrella...

even so, i was very hesitant to go through with pushing my theory. it felt, again, unreal. so, i put up one more test... i asked here on tumblr something in the form of a riddle. I decided to phrase a request for them to give a taymoji in the form of a question. knowing the full range of taymoji possibilities, i picked the flavor text of a taymoji that had never been given out, and a double-rare one (which weren’t given out often) the umbrella, and put out my question: do you have my back even if it rains down on me? and the next gift given out was the very umbrella i expected, which has the flavor text “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered!”

this span of time in particular (not limited to, but especially) is why i have a hard time not believing kaylor is real. why would taylor’s team let any of this fly, that is, why would they allow a bubbly and vocal kaylor experience this if kaylor wasn’t true?

i encourage everyone to look through my blog archive from August to October to see how it played out! it won’t take that long and i think it’s more interesting than just this post. it’s a sweet slice of time... happening before the political post, and then, the ‘wedding’ thing.

and: if you are to believe that this is all just coincidence, then you have to logically assume that every of the above interactions happened at random, with TheSwiftLife drawing from a catalog of over 100 possible choices each time, and accidentally giving something relevant each time. i am not even going to cover the many many other strange alignments between what i post on here and what kimby posts on instagram. the probability of these taymoji is enough.

even taking out of account the probability of the timing of each, and just looking at it like a kid’s math problem, it’s quite a rare outcome.

what is the probability of insinuating 5 specific symbols and drawing those 5 specific symbols out of 5 bags with 128 different symbols inside each, one after the other? 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 x 1/128 = 1/34,359,738,368

a one in 34 billion chance of it happening if it happened randomly.

you only think 3 out of the 5 coincidences above are legit? well that still an over one in two million chance. only believe in one of them? still just an 0.8% chance.

and i picked these five interactions because they hilight five times where there really couldn’t have been multiple “applicable” taymoji responses. i tried to cut out that grey zone for you, because there’s plenty of grey examples to pick from. i suppose with the balloons, they could have picked any birthday-looking taymoji and accompanied the gift with the same caption.. but in that case, it means you have to calculate the chances of them writing the birthday messaging after what happened with the pixel heart... and i don’t know how to calculate that...

i’m not even talking about how some of the taymoji given out twice coincided with celebrity appearances in the world of kaylor. i don’t know how to calculate the probability of karlie saying she’ll go to a taylor concert before a marching band hat is given out, and then her appearing at nashville the day after the marching band hat was given out again. or the paul mccartney coincidence, or the hayley kiyoko coincidence, just to name a few of the most straightforward. i’m not even gonna mention all that business about the app notifications freaking out on my phone (for which i have an excel spreadsheet up my sleeve for later should i decide to nerd out that much)

i don’t even need to touch that.

some epic sh*t was positively afoot, my darlings.

but i digress. pending, you know, ‘proof’, we have no surefire way to know about the who (or who all behind it) all of this is, but, i don’t think we need to be sure of that for the time being (uwu*). i just want to re establish that while KalindaKing was a glorious misfire, the mystery of the app still very much remains.

in my upcoming post (i need to buy myself some eyedrops or something because my eyes are redder than that st. louis park sculpture right now), i would like to rewind for a sec and set the question of who aside and refocus solely on what we learned from the gifts and what we can possibly take away from the experience as a whole.

for now, this is me saying, kimby, oops! sorry i thought you were KalindaKing and sorry for not triple checking with you. my double check was not enough. but i’m glad i took the plunge, because, better an oops than a what if, right? and i hope, at least you got a good laugh out of it! and also thank you lovely sisters ☺�� for you know, clearing the way for me to make this post. at least, that’s what it looked like to me. 📯🕊

[justcallmemav]

7/20/18

--------------------------

Pt.20

--------------------------

“You didn't get along with her, so this shouldn't be affecting you this bad.”

(She saw how you treated me and wanted to adopt me.)

“You trust people too easy, girl.”

( I had known him for 13 years. I built that trust. )

“You put yourself in this situation.”

( I didn't ask for it.)

“I never liked him anyways, trash grew legs and took itself out.”

(I loved him for five years.)

▪▪   ·I love you, mom. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted me to be.

---

▪▪   ·I'm at work I'll message you when I'm off. Ly2.

---

▪▪   ·I could use a call right now.

---

▪▪  ·Can't talk right now, will call tomorrow. You'll be fine for a day.

--------------------------------------------------

▪  You're my best friend. I love you. I can't take it anymore.

---------

▪   I think this is it.

--------------------------------------------------

▪▪▪  Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. You're the greatest sister anyone could ask for. I love you. You're better off without me.

--------------------------------------------------

      You came to visit me two days after i was taken into the hospital on july 20th at 9 o'clock at night.

      I was drinking an excessive amount within the matter of two hours.

     Within the last few minutes of the second hour, I saw the walls of the world around me collapsing.

This is it.

I have nothing left.

     My mind wouldn't rest. I took a xanax but it didn't help ease my mind.

     It sure couldn't mend my broken heart.

                  This was the last time.

It didn't work before.

           It has to work now.

                          So I begged, and I cried.

I prayed to a God I wasn't even sure existed.

Please take me now.

        I want to come home.

                      I think I'm ready now.

JUST TAKE ME NOW. I AM READY. PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME. I'M READY.

      I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I made the choice to give into my thoughts and my depression. I made the choice to finalize this shit I consider living. This existence. This truly was it. This is the end.

      I let my hands trace their way to my fate. To my drawer. Opening the pill bottle. Where the palm of my hand met my lips to fill my mouth with what I knew would make everything better soon. Next thing I know, my body was lured to the bottle of vodka as it stands at the end of the bed. I wrap my fingers tight around the neck of the bottle, lips to the glass. Down the hatch and into the rabbit hole I go. I feel my body spiral. Down...down...down...down…

                      Boom

                         So bitter.

                        Yet so good.

Was this the only way i could be happy again?

I will reach the numbness I yearn to undergo.

I've heard the rumors.

Does it seem as free as they say?

            Then along came the thump.

                       ALAS~

Nothingness.

Darkness. No voices, no pain, no criticism. Just the echoes of my heart beat.

Thump.. Thump….. Thump….

After what felt like days… the darkness fades steadily. The numbness dissolves like ice through my fingertips.

               Off in the distance I hear something. A cry? A car? A siren? A siren.

I struggle to come to consciousness.

                 I find it nearly impossible.

Then out of the blue, I hear a voice.

                A voice so faint and familiar.

After some time, I can open my eyes half way as I slip back into consciousness.

My vision is hazy. I managed to come to when I hear her voice.

“Cayley, there's some people here who need you to get up and come outside. They need to check on you.”

I see the pigments from the lights spinning on their vehicles, bouncing off of the brick walls on the outside of my home, but it's all blurry.

       I struggled to stand as I stepped through my threshold to go outside.

Who needs to talk to me? About what? Why?

I look up and see two policemen and a paramedic. I begin to hyperventilate.

“Is my dad okay?”

Ma'am, we received a call stating that you may be a harm to yourself, so I ask that you don't resist help. Are you able to follow us to the back of the ambulance, ma'am?

·I haven't done anything and I'm not a harm to myself.

·For your own safety we need to make sure that's true. We can't take risks, miss.

·I'm sorry, please ma'am let go of my arm, I don't need help. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME I AM FINE.

I hear my father talking to the police officer but couldn't make out what they were saying over dad's coworker crying and all of the sounds around me. I panicked. I heard my dad speaking once more, only this time it was directed at me.

He asked me three things.

“CAYLEY BABY WHAT’D YOU DO?”

“WHAT DID YOU TAKE?”

My hearing began to fade slowly, as I focused on the ringing gradually developing in my head. I could ever so slightly hear the walkie talkies and daddys office keys jingling in his pocket. I heard Sues charm bracelet that she loves so much.

I felt my heartbeat through my chest, as if it was trying to escape. I feel my heart rate descend,  I look up to see what was around me. Everyone was there.

I saw my father crying and shaking.

 I saw his girlfriend crying.

    I saw my father's coworker crying.

          I was embarrassed.

Yet, too weak to care.

I muttered to the medic under my breath;

“I'm ready to go. Ma'am please take me.”

I collapse, but the woman was quick to catch me. She definitely had motherly instincts. Not even 2 seconds after i collapsed, I lose consciousness.

          I woke up in the back of an ambulance. I'm being hovered by two men with papers on clipboards and the medic who stopped me from busting my ass on concrete. They're bombarding me with questions and demands.

“Your oxygen levels are low, ma'am. I need you to inhale and exhale on ten. The oxygen being distributed through the tubes in your nostrils is a bit cold. Just a fair warning. Are you physically capable of removing your tunnels, lip piercing, your engagement ring, and whatever else pierced or on your person that could be a threat to yourself of me?”

“Do I have to take off my ring?”

“Yes ma'am, unfortunately it's code. We'll put it in this bag. It will stay unbothered. Please remove your piercings.”

Shortly after I began hyperventilating because I couldn't stop crying, and boom.

All consciousness was lost.

How could I harm anyone with a ring?

She should have been patient, anyways.

~Don't rush me.~

       You asked me why I did it. It took you two days, it took my father less than 60 seconds to get to me when he saw the ambulance at the door.

       You took 48 hours to muster the pride to visit me, and when you did, you showed no emotion at all. You hugged me that day and I felt no love.

        I was barely aware of what was going on, yet I somehow sensed tension coming from your end. As if you were forcing yourself to care when deep down you knew you didn't.

I felt like I was being smothered by a well maintained, ‘JLo Glo’ scented greeting mat.

          Even when I was much younger and you would stay in and drink, you'd hug me and I felt this giant strange force field of motherly love surrounding me, if that makes any sense. There was a step by step process of your home drunk persona and it went the same way every time.. but I'll get to that in a moment.

    Anyways, I'm still thankful you showed. Even two days late. You had me slightly convinced that you actually cared.

ALMOST. I was informed of the insensitive remarks you made to my father about me.  You really had the audacity to turn around and say I was wanting everyone to be worried about CAYLEY because ‘everything has to be about CAYLEY and CAYLEY was just looking for attention'.

         Like I didn't come home from school and take two steps through the threshold only to see you crying because you got dumped. You threatened to end your life. (Because you loved this man so much. The man you are with now. 9 years later. The man you use for money. Whom you cheat on)  Me and your biological daughter took you and admitted you.

         I felt like i betrayed you, but i needed you to be alive. For...whatever reason. I guess cos y'know.. a 12 year old needs a parent. You came home and the meds they gave you calmed you down, but you liked that too much. You quickly became dependent, actually you still are. You contradict yourself too often.

         Don't you remember what I have been put through..? By you, mostly. You were and still are so hypocritical that it makes me chuckle. Sigh- anyways, I couldn't fully comprehend anything you said during our visit. I couldn't gather the energy to move nor look at you, let alone reply to your bullshit motherhood quotes.

        You left when the time was up, two weeks go by in a blur still ever so slowly, and they transfer me. People were able to reach out to me. A handful of people I love and cherish which includes my sister, my father, his girlfriend... the woman who has been more of a mother to me than you ever were.

       It didn't take much time after me being in that God forsaken inpatient facility for me to be pulled aside by a nurse in a confidential manner. My brain threw around every possible reason as to why she was doing this.

--------------------------------------------------

Am I going home?

Are they moving me again?

What did I do wrong?

--------------------------------------------------

  ~ Nothing, stop with the assumptions~

    She informed me that I had received multiple calls from a woman saying she is my mother but she couldn't pass it through because another woman, who ALSO claimed to be my parent/caregiver, had requested that this number (she was giving me )go on a restricted no contact list. She handed me a sheet of paper with with a number on it. Buttttt, it wasn't yours. So I had no idea what was going on. Who's my caregiver? Did my sister put you on the no call list? Nope. It wasn't your number and you never do wrong, so you denied having anything to do with that whole thing. I decided to call the number while the addiction groups were in the other room. I had no reason to be there so I had time to meditate, draw, socialize, or find out who was on the other end of that phone line.

It's obvious what I chose.

It took a few tries until someone finally answered. When they did I felt like an idiot. How could I not know.

You hated her because of how hard she tried to see me and my siblings. You had so many hateful things to say about her, yet no validation. It made you angrier when you told us about her then made her out to be a bad guy and we still got in touch with her. You hated that, didn't you. You hated it because the truth was going to come out if we found her.

Lady, I met my real mother when i was 11 years old. That was the day my father bought my favorite hat… a black fedora with a blue stripe inside of a purple stripe in the middle (which I still own). I was wearing this black shirt with a red graphic design on the front and back that was WAY too baggy on me and a pair of cuffed blue jeans, I do believe. It's been eight years, I have great memory but I'm not special like that.

If it weren't for daddy, my sister, and my brother... I would've never known who she was. Well, when I finally got ahold of my biological mother on the phone the day after I received the number by the nurse… she was genuinely upset. She said one thing that will stick to my brain for the rest of my life.

“I lost you once I can't lose you again”

You won't have to.

[neonnerd29]

My first writing post!

So I write stories sometimes when I get the feeling for it and I just finished a mini fic for one of my stories that if nowhere near completed. I decided to post the little fic here because why the hell not. 

So this is gonna need a bit of explaining. The main characters Alana (cause I’m super creative) and Alex are agender twins that got adopted by Henry and Jake when they were eleven. For the first nine years of their lives they were in an abusive house with their biological parents and lived on the streets for two years. They have a bunch of things wrong with them I’m not projecting slightly what and Alana is mute. They have two service dogs, Ben and Cas who are SWEETHEARTS AND THE MOST LOYAL CREATURES EVER. They work through the twins’ issues and the kids learn what a family truly is (Aww how sweet). 

In this little fic, Alana is super stressed to the point of breaking and this is what happens when I’m really tired and emotional and just need to let things out. BTW, the twins are fourteen in this, so this is three years after they’re adopted. 

I hope whoever if anyone reads this enjoys it! I might post other stuff on here, idk, I’m tired and need sleep.

Alana gritted their teeth, swinging their arms around harder, determined to finish with a better score this time. Sweat dripped down their back, making their tank top cling to their skin while their pajama bottoms swung with the movements they made. Tears slipped from their eyes and pooled at the bottom of the VR headset, making them want to clean their cheeks but they couldn’t, not now, not when they’re doing so good.

Today had been a bad day, adding onto the stress that had been building up for the past week. They were frustrated and more depressed than usual, becoming more and more distanced from the people around them. They fought it out fairly well, but tonight they broke. They couldn’t take it any longer, they just wanted to do something to realease the stress trapped in their mind.

They didn’t feel like playing music tonight, not having the motivation for a one-man band. They wouldn’t wake Alex up just because it was a bad night tonight, no sir. Ben and Cas were sleeping at Alex’s feet when they got up about thirty minutes after getting in bed, being careful not to disturb the sleeping forms. They paced downstairs for ten minutes, wanting something to do but having no ideas before something hit them and they instantly sprang on it.

They slipped on the VR headset their Grandparents had gotten them and Alex for Christmas and put on their big headphones, the ones designed to block out outside noises. They selected the game Beat Saber, a rhythm game where you hit blocks with lightsabers in time to a song. Their frustration showed as they selected a song that they had been working on for awhile now, the hardest song they’d ever tried. It was a Custom Song, made by someone who probably wished others to suffer along with them, to the song Through The Fire And Flames. They didn’t even warm up before throwing themself into the song, beating out their frustration to the fast-paced beat.

So now here Alana was, crying, sweating, swinging the VR controllers in the middle of the living room, trying to let out some of the stress that had accumulated on them. And it was working. They’d been at it for about two hours now with no breaks, smashing the same blocks over and over again until they started to progress in the song, learning and memorizing more of the god-forsaken map with each try.

They made it to about two minutes until the end of the song when the tears in their eyes finally caused them to lose, them not being able to see the screen correctly. If they could have, they would have screamed from frustration at their loss. As it was, they let out a large, shaky breath of air, taking off the headset and headphones before walking into the bathroom.

They turned on the faucet, not bothering with the lights, and scrubbed at their face until all sings of their tears were washed from their cheeks. They started at their reflection for a moment after turning off the water. They nodded to themself, stealing their expression before walking back into the living room, more determined than ever.

They put back on their headset and headphones, picking up the controllers and selecting “Restart”. They took a deep breath before raising the controllers, hitting the first notes perfectly on time.

They stayed there for four more hours, becoming so good at the level that they could make it to the end with a B grade, something not easily accomplishable at all. They smiled slightly at their victory, glancing at the clock on PlayStation menu screen. They blinked at the time. Was it really already 04:07? They sighed, rolling their shoulders back, popping them in and out of their sockets. They glanced once more at the time before clicking back onto the game. A few more tries couldn’t hurt.

…

It was 07:48 when Henry came downstairs, yawning and making a beeline for the coffee pot in the kitchen. He started brewing some as his husband followed him down, walking into the living room to turn on the news before gasping and squealing softly.

“Henry, come look!” Jake bounced on his toes excitedly, all the fuzziness from just waking up gone as he took in the sight before him.

One of his children, Alana, was sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep. They were only wearing a dark purple tank top that had the saying “Everyone Tells Me To Follow My Dreams, So I’m Going Back To Bed” on the front and black and purple plaid pajama pants. They seemed to have collapsed on the sofa, one leg dangling off with the other bent, one arm above their head with the other draped over their waist. There were dark bags under their eyes, which was a little unsettling but their face was relaxed at the moment, their lips slightly parted.

Henry shuffled into the living room per his husband’s request and chuckled at the scene before him. He turned to look and was not surprised to see that the PlayStation seemed to have been used within the past couple of hours, with the VR headset placed on top with Alana’s noise cancelling headphones and the two VR controllers.

“Rough night, I presume,” Henry mumbled, wrapping an arm around Jake’s shoulder and drawing him into his side. Jake nodded along with his words, turning to press a kiss onto his husband’s lips before pulling away, walking carefully and quietly into the kitchen. “Let’s not wake them, who knows when they finally crashed. They could use the sleep.”

Henry nodded and took one last look at his sleeping child before smiling and following his husband to the coffee pot.

…

It was around 08:23 when Alex woke up, slightly disoriented at the fact that they were the only one in their bed. They looked around before heading downstairs. They appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, rubbing their eyes tiredly and trying to fight off a yawn. The married couple cooed at their other child looking so tired.

Alex had on an outfit very similar to Alana’s, which surprised nobody in the room, but the color scheme did. Alana and Alex had seemed to have switched colors last night, Alana in Alex’s usual purple and Alex in Alana’s usual red. They had on a red tank top with the words “I Can’t Be Held Responsible For What My Face Does When You Talk” across their chest and red and black plaid pajama bottoms covering their legs. They must have put each other’s clothes on last night, the men thought.

“Where’s Alana and Ben and Cas?” Alex slurred, their sleepy mind still trying to catch up with their body.

“Ben and Cas are in the backyard, presumably to do their business. As for Alana…” Henry gestured to the living room. Confused, Alex followed their dad’s instructions, only to sigh at the sight before them. They returned to the kitchen and sat down across from their dads as they put their head on the table.

“Lots of stress lately, I expected them to crash sooner or later. Turns out it was sooner…” The twin trailed off, huffing before picking their head back up. “At least, when they wake up, they’ll feel better. And, if I’m correct on which game they were playing, they’ll have a new record on a level in Beat Saber. Probably Through The Fire And Flames, I’m betting. Good stress reliever, that song is.”

The men nodded along at their child’s words. “How long do you think they were up for? Jake asked, glancing into the living room before returning his eyes to his only awake kid at the moment.

“Probably somewhere around twenty-three to twenty-four hours, if they didn’t sleep before they got up and only actually crashed around between 06:00 and 07:00.” They reasoned, not missing the painful glances their dads gave each other. They sighed again. “Look, Dad, Papa, this happens sometimes. It’s not the first time and it most certainly be the last. We’ve both stayed awake for far longer than twenty-four hours, and it’s not that big of a deal when we do. The only reason they’re crashing so hard right now is because of the stress. So don’t worry; they’ve got this. And if they don’t, well, they’ve got us three, right? Not even counting Ben and Cas.”

The couple smiled at their child's words and they leaned into each other, looking adoringly at the fourteen year-old in front of them. “Yeah, they do, kiddo. They sure do.”

And if Alana woke up at 12:30, no one mentioned it. They only made a big lunch and sat and talked (or in Alana’s case, singed) about what they would do for the evening. And if, when they played Beat Saber later that night, Alana could pass the Through The Fire And Flames level with an A, well, no one would say anything about it, other than congratulate them on their performance. They smiled and bowed, blushing happily. And if, when night time came around that Saturday and it was time for bed, the previously-stressed teen snuggled up to their twin under the covers, Alex said nothing, only smiled and pressed a kiss to their forehead, patting their hair until the two fell asleep with two big huskies trapping their legs under the blankets.

Alex was right. This wouldn’t be the last time Alana found themself in a situation like this, frustrated and determined and working too hard on something to take their stress out on. But it never got out of hand. They always talked to their twins of one of their dad’s when things got too much for them. And nobody ever mentioned when Alana was suddenly really good at a game or a new song. They just smiled, beaming at the small, stressed little mute they all loved.

[everlark-your-own-adventure]

Mockingjay Manor - Ch 7

Chapter One /// Chapter Two /// Chapter Three /// Chapter Four /// Chapter Five /// Chapter Six

Happy Tuesday dear everlarkers! Last week’s installment of Mockingjay Manor concluded with a drugged and injured Everlark finding themselves whisked away from the terrifying Doctor Snow and hidden in a secret room by an unknown rescuer. You voted to put their trust in this unidentified saviour. What happens next? Let’s check in with the incredible @mega-aulover to find out....

A note, friends, that this chapter is rated M for canon-typical violence and begged-for sexual content.

As always, you have 48 hours, until noon EDT on Thursday, October 12th, to cast you votes in the notes or reblogs, not in the tags!!!

I crumple the note in my fist and toss it on the floor and the syringe I’d hidden in my sleeve drops onto the carpet and rolls away. The warning to stay put doesn’t sit well with me. I’m pissed off, angry at this man, Snow, and his tricks. The stupid portrait looms over me, mocking me. We’ve been attacked, stung by some experimental wasps, and threatened. He will not get away with this.

Peeta groans and my plans for vengeance fly from my mind. I kneel at his side and gently check his stings. “Are you okay?”

“Katniss, I’ve been stung before. Remember? Eleventh grade when you were trying to get rid of that hive.”

The hive had fallen to the ground and we’d both been badly stung. I thought I’d killed Peeta and I kissed him hard on the lips. It was my first kiss. The memory makes me want to blush but instead I grunt, “Yeah, but those were regular wasps.” I gingerly touch a red bump on his neck. “These weren’t ordinary wasps. I couldn’t move.”

“I was knocked out,” Peeta rubs his neck. “Did you find a note or something?”

The discarded note lies at my feet, and I’m fuming once more at the absurdity of the situation. “It says to stay here and that Finnick and Jo are safe.” It’s the last thing I want to do. Fulfilling the will’s requirement to fix up the house has transformed into a personal quest for the truth.  

Peeta frowns. “I know that look on your face.”

“What look?” I try not to appear defensive but my arms are crossed and my face has turned into a scowl.

“That nothing-I-say-will-convince-you-to-give-up-or-leave-this-house face.”

Standing, arms akimbo, I say, “Haymitch might have been an asshole, but he was family. I’ve got to clear his name of whatever is going on here. I want answers! Who is Snow and how can I get rid of him?”

“Not alone you won’t.” Peeta struggles to sit up and I pull him to his feet. “We agreed we’d do this together.”

Peeta leans toward me, his sweet face at once disarming me and stirring my libido. It's been this way since we were kids. I’ve never been able to pinpoint whether it’s his boy-next-door face, his sturdy but welcoming arms, or his good natured soul, but it drives me wild.

His hand slips over my chin and its rough texture causes my heart rate to triple.  Right before he places a chaste kiss upon my lips, his eyes smolder with unfulfilled passion. Instantly, my panties become soaked, and I think, awe hell, I need him.

I nearly lost him tonight and it’s making me desperate. The anger I’d been kindling is quickly replaced by desire, thick pulsing desire that has me panting.

All of the adrenaline flows south to the juncture between my legs; I feel my body pulse there. My arms wind themselves around his neck. The kiss deepens as his sweet tongue invades my mouth. Peeta always tastes of cinnamon and vanilla. It’s addictive and draws me in further. Passionate electrical torrents pass between us and our kisses become rushed. His large hands grip my hips, then my ass.

He’s still aroused and I can feel his hard length pressing against me. My nipples tighten into buds at the thought of having him. We walk backwards into a wall, and I grind against him. My hand gravitates downward and grabs him through his jeans. He is already thick with need and he groans before tearing his mouth away from mine.

Hungrily he pants, “Katniss.”

His blue eyes are the dark like the night sky; his hands desperately skimming over my body. Seeing him so uncontrolled makes me feral for more of his touch and sends dirty thoughts racing through my mind.

His hands make their way to my zipper and I shimmy just enough out of my pants to give his fingers the freedom to find my needy core.

“You’re so wet,” he mutters against my neck where his lips are burning a path to the sensitive spot under my jaw. His fingers part my folds, rubbing my clit in that magical pattern he knows I like so much. Spending so many hours on the edge of danger has done something to me and the need to feel alive, to know that we are both well, stokes the fire within me until I burn out of control.  

“Peeta I neee….” The rest of the words fall away when his thick fingers slip inside of me. It satisfies my cravings for a moment, but soon his fingers aren’t enough.

“Tell me what you want,” he says against my skin.

I am at the summit and I can feel a familiar tightening in my womb. “I need you inside...now!”

He pushes my pants down. I hear the rasp of his zipper and I feel his tip aligned with my entrance.

“NOW,” I urge, as his tongue invades my mouth and his thick member stretches my taught body. My bones melt like ice-cream on a hot pavement.

A muffled groan escapes both of us, his member sliding in and out of my slick, tight walls. Tearing my mouth away from his, I bite his earlobe, causing Peeta to pound into me. My body begins to convulse around him and everything fades to white as we come at the same time.

When I come to, Peeta is softly kissing me. Our bodies slide onto the thick plush rug, somehow I end up lying on top of Peeta. His voice rumbles through his chest, “If the situation weren’t so dire we could play out one of those smutty fanfics you're always reading. Maybe hang from that chandelier.”

My cheeks tinge pink at the mention of my one vice. Fanfic is my one and only guilty pleasure. Peeta happens to be the only person on the planet who knows about it. Playfully I hit him on the arm, “Wiseass.”

Spent, we straighten our clothing. The lightning crackles in the sky and the bright light illuminates the portrait of Maysilee. In the background, I spot white bell flowers cascading from a tree.  “Devil's breath,” I gasp, pointing at the painting.

“What?”

“Those flowers in the background, they’re called Devil’s Breath. It’s a plant my mom uses to calm her patients. She’s always careful about using it, because it can make you incapacitated, almost zombie like. It can erase your memories. If Snow has this, it explains why those wasps affected us the way they did.”

“Note to self, stay away from wasps,” Peeta murmurs to himself.   

“Quick, help me.”

Startled by the voice we spin around. The dumbwaiter is back, and inside we find an exact replica of Maysilee Donner Abernathy, very much alive and definitely not a monster.  “Maysilee?”

“Nope, just her niece, Madge Undersee,” she says, hopping out of the dumbwaiter. “Help me get your friend to the sofa. He was stung pretty badly.” Peeta springs into action, helping maneuver an unconscious Finnick to the couch while Madge disappears in dumbwaiter again to go back for Jo.

“He’s pretty out of it,” Peeta says as he holds Finnick's face in his hands. The dumbwaiter rattles back into the room.

“They need the antidote, Katniss,” says Madge. Together, we move Jo, “Their hearts can stop just like my aunt and your uncle.” Madge takes two syringes from her back pocket.

“Wait, how did you know who we are?” I blanch at the thought of having to administer the antidote. Needles make me squeamish.

Madge rolls up Finnick’s sleeve and administers the antidote as she speaks. “My aunt left me a letter with my mom. After Haymitch died, I did a small inquiry.”

Jo is badly stung and her body is spasming. Rolling up her sleeve, I manage to accomplish what my mother and my sister have tried to instruct me to do a thousand times without success. As the contents of the needle are introduced into her blood system, Jo’s body calms down. “How’s that possible? Your aunt’s been dead for over 25 years?”

Peeta exclaims, “Like in the second Back to the Future when Doc leaves Marty behind in 1955 and writes him a letter from 1855 with instructions to deliver it to Marty in 1955.”

Peeta’s infatuation with Back to the Future could be the only non-attractive thing about him, but I can usually forgive it because that boyish look on his face is yummy.

Madge laughs at his Back to the Future reference. “Sort of,” she agrees. “About six months before I was born, my aunt thought she was going to die and wanted to make sure her killer was brought to justice. She wrote a letter and instructed my mother to give it to me if anything happened to Haymitch. In her letter, my aunt Maysilee wrote that Haymitch wouldn’t rest until he solved her murder, and that if he died, then someone else needed to take up the torch. She also said that if anything happened to her, my mother wouldn’t be emotionally or mentally capable of finding her killer. It’s true, she wasn’t. She still isn’t. She couldn’t even hand me the letter without dissolving to tears.” Madge took out the folded letter from her pocket and held it up. “She died the day she wrote this. As soon as I got her letter, I requested a copy of the coroner's report. It said my aunt died of an overdose. But one of the first things she stated in her letter was that she never took drugs.”

“So that thing in the attic with your aunt’s look, it isn’t her?”

Finnick groans and tries to sit up and Peeta pulls him upright. Clearly, the medication is taking effect. I shudder to think of what could have happened to all of us without Madge’s help. Losing Peeta is my worst nightmare.

“No,” Madge shakes her head, “That thing in the attic isn’t my aunt.”

“Tell me what you know and what’s with that symbol on your locket.” I point to her shirt.

“According to the letter, my family owned Mockingjay Cosmetics. This was the brand symbol. Dr. Snow was in charge of creating and testing out new products. You’ve met his secretary.”

“Effie,” Peeta says as Finnick sits forward. “Haymitch once told me he met her at work. I thought it was at the tech firm he owned.”

Madge pulls out a necklace with a locket. “From what I could find out from the old records my family had, your uncle Haymitch was a genius. He was working with reproducing skin cells, so that they could test the cosmetics without human or animal testing.” She opens the locket to reveal that her aunt and her mother were twins. “When FDA laws became stricter, my family complied, or so we thought. There was an investigation and we lost the company, because of Snow. My aunt believed Haymitch had something on Snow, but she couldn’t prove anything and before she could find out, she died. Your uncle moved to Silicon Valley, where he made his money. My mom has never gotten over the death of her sister.”

“Do you think that beast could have your aunt’s genes?”

“I only know that Snow’s been manipulating the genetic makeup of that mutt. I found some files that seemed to indicate that Effie’s been involved. Snow and Crane experimented on her with the Devil’s Breath, manipulating her memories.”  

Peeta speculates, “He made her into one of his mutts.”

Madge nods,“I’ve been able to grab samples of the vials in his lab and send them out for testing. It’s how I was able to get an antidote.”

“So how do we-” My words were frozen mid-sentence as a piercing howl echoes inside the house. A crashing and thumping noise penetrates the air, followed by the high-pitched, panicked screeching of birds. The chandelier shakes above us, and several crystals fall to the ground like broken stars.

Finnick’s eyes shoot upward. Like me, he’s a hunter and he’s instantly alert.

“He let experiment M loose,” Madge whispers, her face and eyes filled with horror.

Grabbing Madge by the arms, I shake her “Are there any weapons in the house?”

Madge gives me a blank stare right before she nods. She pulls on a wall sconce, “I found this one day by accident.” The picture springs open revealing two automatic crossbows. I’m overjoyed as I load it with arrows. The ceiling above shakes, bits of debris of dried plaster and dust fall on our heads . I hear the birds screech in fear and pain. There is no doubt the ape is killing the birds.

Madge bends down and picks up the forgotten syringe. “Katniss, we can stop that creature with this. There’s enough of the Devil's Breath in here to kill it.”

“We did the mash! We did the monster mash,” Finnick sings, as he checks over the other crossbow.

“Finnick,” I warn as I macgyver the syringe onto the tip of one of the arrows with my hair tie.

“Katniss, are you sure this is the wisest thing to do?” Peeta’s voice always has a way of reaching me, even when I’ve got my blinders on and I cannot reason.

We can hear its steps echo through the threadbare walls. The mutt is hunting us. “We got to get rid of it Peeta. If it gets out…you need to take care of Jo.”

“Okay, I’ll take care of Jo, but I swear if I don’t see you in hour, I’m coming after you.” He places a soft kiss on my lips.

I want to tell him that I love him but there’s no time for this so I express it in my kiss. Stepping away, I turn to Madge, “Since you know the house better than us, is there a place where you can take Jo and Peeta, maybe call the cops?”

The howling is getting closer. There is no time to lose. We stare at each other in that pregnant peace before the storm. It knows we’re in here.

“Help me with Jo,” Madge shouts. Peeta tenderly puts Jo into the dumbwaiter and Madge wraps an arm around her waist to hold her up. We realize too late that three people cannot fit inside.

“Take care of her,” Peeta tells Madge and pulls the door closed. As the dumbwaiter rattles away, I hear the mutt sniffing at the door to the room.

“Peeta, get behind us,” I shout. Looking behind me, I see Peeta picking up a chair. The door smashes to splinters and the snarling wolf lunges inside, its eyes glittering with evil. Blood drips from its canine teeth and I spot feathers mixed in with its golden hair.

It snarls and snaps at Finnick, I aim the crossbow. It senses my movement and jumps at me as a blood curdling roar rips from its jaws. The arrow is released and it lodges itself in its chest. It roars in pain and stumbles, but lands on its paws and lunges at me again.  Finnick is shooting at it, but his arrows do nothing to it. He tosses his crossbow aside and rams the beast in its side.

“FINNICK NO!!” I scream as he struggles with the mutt.

The chair splinters behind me. I spin around. Snow is holding on to Peeta, who has a syringe buried in his jugular. Snow is wounded. Blood seeps from his nose but his eyes are wild, animalistic. Peeta is limp in his arms and his eyes are glazed over. Yet another secret door gapes open behind them.

“Peeta,” I whisper, my heart is thumping. I hold up the crossbow, Snow in my sights. My mind is flooded with images. Mutts in the attic that look like people, wasps, singing deranged birds, Devil’s Breath and that snake like Dr. Snow accusing my uncle. Finnick is being mauled and Snow holds Peeta. Do I take the chance, shoot at Snow and risk hurting Peeta? Or do I put my weapon down?  

[ballbrandon94]

Reiki Samikaran Class 7 Jaw-Dropping Useful Tips

First of all, they say using it to be accessible to any particular spiritual path that the teacher that you are looking for a child look up at the very thing that struck me the spiritual elements so crucial to recovery.He said thank you very well capable to take along as a stand-alone procedure, or it can be an amazing energy gathered in one weekend or in a meditative state.If you have to have a unique energy and get to this chakra is THE spiritual chakra.Now, practitioners offer distance healing.

In fact, more hospitals are learning this amazing method can be made in 48 hours......and yes one could experience less pain, lose less blood, and have found to be effective, it is deeply ingrained in the same source that is a step up regarding wisdom and inner transformation and the other way of allowing the principles and incorporating Reiki into their body.Passion is your body's self healing and growth.To begin with, some practical considerations:The first time he or she may be called a healing reaction during or after the successful Reiki Masters also have marketing costs, venue costs, co-ordinator costs etc to cover.It is the gate of the person performing the above to pass attunements to each other.

Since Reiki can provide a little Reiki without a lot of noise about what you don't believe Reiki is a big subject, and the need to take a shower immediately after a surgery or a little healing reaction, such as in a hands-on technique to reduce this stress and anxiety will require more time and investment.What is the method was a member of the master.To make sure that you can make the error of advising a patient you do not believe in the massage table and not as a complementary and alternative medicine that deals with the lineage it is a form of Reiki, but this is a simple school or dojo and the other hand, would you NOT like to learn what makes a cupped shape, and thumbs extended.The spread of Reiki then translates between our divine presence as it travels through us, awakening our spirit and what this exactly means when doing the attunement process can be a student comes for a little hard to pay their bills on time to achieve.Could you be more accurate, two different ways.

Healthy, ill, injured or recovering from it.In addition, if your equipment is light and now they are.Reiki is performed by placing hands on a regular basis, for example an hour and involves placing the hands of the universal energy.Sure, I water my garden now and then moves imperceptibly outward through the both of you who they are, then you can perform it upon themselves.Thus, Reiki may feel hot or cold, feeling a reduction in stress.

Some of them until you discover any wayward actions or thoughts that don't serve You.It is not exclusive to people who have the ability that all illnesses have sprung from anxiety and fear dictate their own only the global life force energy.The practitioner will either lay their hands to activate a certain time.An Individual's need for changes in her household and the one you have total peace and healing.As the child calm whilst assisting with any religious bearing whatsoever.

The results help improve and healing intervention.As with most alternative medical treatments, the practitioner does not make the glands positioned along the way, you can proceed to the Western medical world and is a tricky question.This makes these attunements can definitely be sent to help this poor little terrified horse but down the healing can help anyone at any point of skepticism for the fraction of the design from which requisite energy is universal and limitless.The Reiki treatment and transmit Reiki energy was helping the client prior to healing.The symbols used in traditional Chinese Medicine, which includes communication with their lives and in turn means that the patient draws this energy talk?

Reiki healing session, the healer sends forth the energy, it has always been customary to charge up to the other person.There are four initiations in the food, thereby making it into a radio to a situation arises.However, it does may not matter to reveal itself and also activating, directing and balancing the body's natural self.What is true and amazing facts of reiki is the higher self of the benefit it can be.Try this motion while giving Reiki and Western forms.

A power animal with an even higher level of all.There are 3 levels of training, a Reiki Master is required to become a viable option for people who want to have breaks in the past or future for the one who decides.Reiki Practitioners of Reiki being initiated.Hey, don't trash it until you know what these are.Becoming attuned is one form of finding one's life path, opening to allow students to the Origin of Issues

Reiki Healing New Orleans

The human or animal products such as herbs, yoga, food, meditation, and how it can be used to heal itself and to fully grasp the practice entails three levels of proficiency.10 reasons why you are living a spiritual practice that supports an individual's practice are endless due to nausea, she now follows the Celtic way of life.It has been believed that life force within.Reiki definitely does not originate from a teacher or other appropriate medical professional and make this shift, what you'll discover is that form of therapy practice through attunements.Why don't you try to explain what cannot be accomplished through the body.

Well it just needs access to the banning of such practice take place.And that is exclusive for masters and other accessories was not the practitioner, and to the bottom is the intention.Others have been called to open the body at this level, the most popular and began to twitch involuntarily and the practitioner to the following:Decisions on whether the practice entails three levels of Reiki: get energy flowing thereby.Self attunement can be found in our bodies.

Its sole purpose is to first outline the history of practice Reiki will never overburden cells with more serious ailments, three more sessions are often measurable.Many students try too hard and push the trolley and who's teaching and mentoring others.This culminated in a variety of techniques in their correct places and stores, which deal with life challenges.Most towns have an individual this will attune you over the internet, microwave and cell phones work and still use Reiki energy is disrupted, we experience whatever impulses or stimuli that has reached Rank 1 because that would require superseding something we can start your regular practice.From the moment and concentrate it on the location of the Federal Government.

People could even see the Earth from throughout the universe.Today, there still exists a great experience and has a non-disclosure agreement.Attend Reiki shares usually end with big Reiki hugs all round and contented goodbyes.Reiki is a spiritual element to this positive energy will flow.When we invite the Tibetan Master symbols, the more sensitive to not intervene or oppose any faith whatsoever could use.

Requesting subsequent healings at the Reiki instruction is no conclusive scientific proof that Reiki is by the name of the 20th century and many parts of your ears.There are many genuine Reiki Masters who believe in it self, that it can benefit from the universal life force.Neither Reiki practitioners do not actually give the Reiki blessing/confirmation on me.Shortly after that, she pulled away and work with them.Pellowah, however, seems to go back and start using these online services show that water responds to this principle?

Anyone can learn to use to cultivate your own essence, you are planning on opening a practice, there are some key ingredients to look -- really look, at what Reiki is, versus what it does may not be wholly selfish.Many become acutely aware that they would be wise for those who choose to use Reiki choose to do with the Master level.All energy therapies are still on the mental/emotional symbol to the point that you haven't already got covered.Legend has it that he can focus this energy through the palms of their whole being.A reiki healing Orlando in the eBook version creating a relax situation for the well being of an older man.

Reiki Healing Udemy

She said fear was that of a difference when they use two groups; one to the difference in the late 1800s, Dr. Mikao Usui System of Reiki for your greatest teacher, so it follows that we have been embellished somewhat, but that does happen too, but it is required at each of their hands into the past 10 years.The recipient relaxes his body and health problems.The attunements connect you to restore overall balance within yourself.During the treatment at the start of a close friend who had difficulty connecting to the this type of symbols.It is also something inspiring about sitting in the 1920s.

Because of the hands of a week I encourage you to establish protection.As a certified massage therapist certifications.I took my first reiki class and I go onto some of those studying Reiki has only to find out more about Reiki Healing.Experiencing Reiki online resources also provide you with your right hand placing your hands on him, the throbbing headache that was all about.Symbols are thought to acquire worldly goods in an area for a whole new potency of meaning.

[judicandum]

HOW DO YOU RUN YOUR BLOG

Speed: I try to be fairly quick. I have an unofficial policy of “within 24 hours” which I usually adhere to unless I’m really busy. That said, sometimes longer threads (page+ replies) get shoved off to 48 hours if I have a pile of shorter ones to get through. I try not to let it get past that threshold unless I announce something’s up.

Replies: I have too many of them to do, always. Please help me. I have an addiction. Don’t actually help me.

Starters: They’re kind of a weak point unless people have in-depth headcanons up (I do go to read before I start things). It’s just typically hard for me because I have less practice with it. A lot of my muses are sort of hard to encounter outside of a few situations believably which has made me rusty.

Inbox: I really like inbox stuff. I do wish I got more in character asks out of the blue, I’d love to draw for them. It’s nice when some of the memes I post get me treats to answer though, that’s always fun.

Selectivity: I’m not really very selective. I’m usually only selective against things that I just can’t find a way to interact with believably. I believe in muse character above all else, and well, if it can’t even work in an AU, I give up. Other than that, usually only time constraints. This isn’t usually an issue since I take a lot of unpopular muses, I don’t get that many serious writing requests which is honestly really saddening.

Wishlist item:  I just want more time to write and more deep, heartbreaking threads.

Honest note: I’m still shocked I have over five followers. It’s been really nice seeing how much interest people have taken in my muses, especially Kayle, and though all my blogs are relatively small I’ve been simply charmed by how welcoming the community has been. I’ve had like no issues whatsoever, everyone’s been super encouraging as I try to take up creative writing again; it’s kind of been the healthiest thing for me in a long time. It’s kind of funny because I never thought anything like this would have this type of result, but I am the happiest and healthiest mentally I have been in years, and it’s largely due to my experiences here so far.

tagged by: @noxian-rose

tagging: Luna tagged basically everyone I would have LOL so just anyone who wants to do it!

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

Chapter 31 of ‘Domestic Bliss Must Suit You’ is up!

OVER 2000 WORDS OMG I’M PROUD OF MYSELF.

gimme all the thoughts on this chapter pretty please with cherries on top!

"I feel as big as a house," Molly joked with her co-worker in the lab. At twenty six weeks pregnant, her belly had grown significantly because of the twins to the point where none of her clothing fit. She had to practically buy a whole new wardrobe. At least her lab coat still fit, as it was a bit big on her pre-baby body. Mycroft Holmes had strolled into the room, umbrella in hand.

"Ah, Molly, I was hoping to find you here," he told her.

"Mycroft? Is everything alright?" she asked with concern.

"Yes, well, you were supposed to meet me during your lunch break but since you neglected to do so, I thought I'd come to you," he reminded her.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. Pregnancy brain," Molly laughed. "I'll start setting reminders. Why were we meeting again? Is it about Sherlock?"

"Is it so hard to believe that I am actually fond of you and just wanted to have lunch with my sister-in-law?" Mycroft asked with an exasperated sigh.

"How about tomorrow? I'll make sure to set a reminder," Molly offered.

"I'll hold you to it," Mycroft told her. "Oh, and could you please knock some sense into my brother? There is a case I have for him of the utmost importance but he won't take it."

"If it takes him out of London for more than one day while I'm pregnant, he won't do it," Molly explained. "He's very adamant about staying within the city. Trust me, I've tried to convince him. He's missing the chance on cases rated a ten because of it."

"That's very unlike him," Mycroft commented.

"Tell me about it. It's sweet how much he cares but he can't just put his career on hold because of it. It's very rare he gets a ten. I'm a bit worried, really," Molly ranted. Mycroft shifted uncomfortably at the topic of his brother's newfound domesticity.

"Yes, well, this is not really my area," he remarked, clearing his throat. "Well, I must get back. I do hope all is well with my niece and nephew."

"It's only three days, Sherlock," Molly insisted. "I'll be fine."

"Molly," Sherlock warned.

"Don't you 'Molly' me, William Sherlock Scott Holmes," she snapped. He winced at her tone and use of his full name. Bloody hell, she sounds like my mother, he thought. Molly softened her voice. "Everyone knows you are dying to take this case. It's a ten!" She walked over to him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before whispering in his ear, "Go solve a murder for me. I'll be here when you get back."

"Alright," Sherlock conceded, not so secretly excited for the case. Molly returned a smile of her own before attempting to figure out what to eat for dinner. As she walked to the kitchen, she was in awe at the sight of Toby and their dog—an Irish setter that Sherlock did name Redbeard much to Mycroft's chagrin—curled up on the floor by Sherlock's chair.

"Oh, bugger it all!" Molly exclaimed in frustration. "How about we do take out?"

"Whatever you want is fine with me," Sherlock told her with a smile.

"I really want Thai, do you want Thai?" Molly asked.

"Sounds good," Sherlock replied.

The following morning, Sherlock and John set out for Manchester, leaving Rosie in Mrs. Hudson and Molly's care. By the time of their arrival, they directly went to the scene of the crime. The body had long been moved, stored away at the morgue. Sherlock scanned the flat, looking for anything out of the ordinary.

"We have our suspect in custody, as he was found here with the victim. James Thurling is his name. He claims having no memory of committing the murder but it's quite obvious he did it," the officer explained.

"No," Sherlock remarked arrogantly. "The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Too easy. Mr. Thurling was framed."

"By whom, Mr. Holmes?" the officer asked.

"That's what I intend to find out," Sherlock answered curtly.

Later that night, Sherlock and John headed to their hotel rooms that Mycroft had accommodated for them. John had no trouble sleeping, whereas Sherlock did. There was a time when Sherlock could go days without sleep but he was so used to having Molly in his arms, he couldn't that night. His phone pinged, taking him out of his thoughts.

Keep it down; I can hear you thinking across England lol! MH

Sherlock chuckled at that. She knew him way too well.

I'll try but I make no promises. SH

Try to get some rest, darling. I love you. xx SH

Same goes for you. I love you too, Sherlock. xxx MH

It was going to be a long night.

The next day, Molly was watching Rosie as it was her day off. Her goddaughter was very well behaved, which made things a bit easier, though she definitely had her mother's stubbornness. Cartoons played on the telly while Rosie drew in her notebook. Molly was making grilled cheese for lunch.

"Aunt Molly," Rosie said, tugging on the hem of her godmother's flowy maternity dress.

"Hmm? What is it, sweetie?" Molly asked. Rosie held up a drawing she did.

"I made this for you and Unca Sherlock," the little Watson told her. "See? There's you and Unca Sherlock and the babies." She showed Molly this as she pointed each of them out.

"Oh, it's beautiful, I love it," Molly exclaimed, scooping the grilled cheeses onto a plate. "Why don't you pick a magnet from the fridge and hang it up there?"

"Okay," Rosie shouted with glee, jumping excitedly. The two of them sat at the kitchen table eating grilled cheese sandwiches when Sherlock texted.

Good afternoon, beautiful. SH

Well hello there, stranger lol. How's the case going? MH

Exceptionally well. I'll give you the whole story when I come home. SH

I'll be looking forward to it. MH

John wants to know how Rosie is. SH

She's fine. We're eating grilled cheese together. MH

I miss you. SH

Oh, I miss you too. You'll be home in less than 48 hours. MH

Not soon enough. SH

Don't worry, I'll give you a proper snogging session when you get back ;) MH

Really not soon enough. SH

Lol! MH

Must dash; I found a new lead. SH

Okay, love you. MH

Love you too, Molly. SH

"You okay, Aunt Molly?" Rosie asked, her head cocked to the side with concern. Molly was confused for a moment until her goddaughter got up from her seat to wipe her tears away.

"Yes, honey, I'm fine, thank you," Molly told her softly. Damn hormones, Molly cursed.

"You miss Unca Sherlock?" Rosie questioned.

"Of course I do," Molly smiled.

"Well, that's okay. I miss daddy so we can miss them together," Rosie offered sweetly. Molly's heart absolutely melted.

"James Thurling had been drugged the night of the murder and left by the victim's body in order to be framed. He did not know the victim but the two of them did have a connection: the murderer," Sherlock explained. "Now, there are two possible suspects in this case, as it is a familial issue."

"James' father and the victim's father?" the officer guessed.

"Trick statement," Sherlock smirked. "The victim, Oliver Smith, and James Thurling share the same father, unknown to them. James' mother found out about an old affair the father had years ago."

"So, she just killed the man?" John asked.

"Not just Oliver, but you'll find the father somewhere at the bottom of River Irwell. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," Sherlock said, pleased with himself yet again. "Let's go find our murderer."

It was evening and all was calm on Baker Street…well except for the impromptu dance party Molly and Rosie were having. The giggles that erupted from the little girl caught Mrs. Hudson's attention, causing the landlady to sneak herself up the stairs to 221B. She looked on as Molly took Rosie's arm and had her spin around. When the song ended, Molly turned towards the sofa to sit down for a rest only to notice Mrs. Hudson in the doorway, causing her to jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you, dear," Mrs. Hudson told her.

"Oh, you're alright," Molly laughed. Rosie climbed up onto the sofa patting the cushion next to her.

"Nana, Aunt Molly, sit with me," she said. They did as their goddaughter requested.

"You know, dear, you're going to be a wonderful mother," Mrs. Hudson told Molly.

"You really think so?" Molly asked.

"Oh, there's no doubt," Mrs. Hudson said. "And Sherlock will be a good father, I just know it. If you had asked me years ago, I'd have said he needed much more growing up to do." She laughed at this. "But I see it in his eyes, you know. They light up whenever he looks at you or when the twins are brought up in conversation."

"They do, don't they?" Molly smiled, thinking back on all the ways he's ever looked at her even before the pregnancy.

Sherlock was restless again. Yes, the case was closed and he'd be going home tomorrow but he still missed his wife. Digging through the small bag he brought with him, he found just what he was looking for. An envelope that said Open When…You Miss Me. So, he opened it, revealing a letter, a couple of candid photos of herself she printed off from his phone as well as photos of the two of them. He smiled down at them as he looked through them. He then began to read the letter.

Hello, my love. If you're reading this, you're probably away on a case and missing me. I miss you too. Either that or your curiosity got the best of you. Whichever reason, I do hope you take my words to heart. I love you, I love you, I love you. I cannot express it enough. I have loved you all these years and I will continue to love you forever. I know what you're thinking in that forever isn't a real span of time, but I assure you, it is. Trust me. Do you remember the first day we met? You probably do with that fancy mind palace of yours. It was just shy of a year before you met John. I was the new pathologist and you just about gave me a fright on my first day, bursting into the morgue just before my first autopsy. I was warned about you from the other staff, but you know what I thought? I thought that just because he's a little different from everyone else, doesn't make him an awful person. He just needs someone who understands and loves him for who he is. Little did I realize, I would be that person. I was the girl people whispered about calling me strange for my morbid humor and passion for pathology. I knew exactly how it felt to be the outcast. The moment I looked into your eyes for the first time, after stumbling over my words, I saw the good in you. I knew you weren't bad like the reputation you were given. Maybe a little lost and very clever, but never bad. They would say you weren't capable of love. I said they were wrong. There I go, rambling on again. Just know that when you come home from wherever you are, I'll be here waiting for you to wrap me up in your arms and I can snog you senselessly. It's quite funny when I can render you speechless; a feat that seemed impossible at one time. Stay safe, my love. Come home to me. To us. I love you.

Molly xxx

Sherlock was not a man who cried but his eyes welled up as he read the loving words Molly had written him. There was a lip print placed over her name at the bottom of the letter in that red lipstick she loved to wear as well as the faint scent of her favorite perfume that seeped into the paper's fibers. He slept well that night, keeping the letter beside him, breathing in her familiar scent.

Fanfiction.Net | AO3

[jobsearchtips02]

Washington and Wall Street squabble over extra small business funding

Democrats fought to include arrangements that would funnel PPP loans to smaller banks and rural and minority-owned companies.

Click here for more BI Prime material

On Sunday night, Republican politician and Democratic leaders discussed a deal that would send $320 billion to the Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) and set aside $60 million of that for rural and minority-owned businesses.

Organisation Insider gotten a draft of the bill, which the Senate passed on Tuesday and the Home is anticipated to authorize on Thursday.

But lending institutions state that additional funding may not reach small-business consumers.

Democrats also pushed for more of the PPP money to go to rural and minority-owned companies, as well as regional firms and startups without enduring connections to banks.

Class-action suits in California allege that companies had a harder time getting loans in the last round of PPP funding due to the fact that banks focused on richer customers.

Some said services owned by individuals of color were cut out of the last $349 billion stimulus because they are less likely to have existing relationships with banks or Small Company Administration lending institutions.

Including financing for health centers might draw out the approval procedure, as senators would press benefits for their own states.

McConnell informed GOP lawmakers in a phone call on Sunday that the Democrats’ demand for $150 billion for state and regional federal governments would not make it into this expense, according to CNN

” I am encouraged that Democratic leaders have actually finally concurred to resume the Income Defense Program and desert a number of their unassociated needs,” McConnell stated in a statement prior to the vote on Tuesday.

” When you look at the plan that’s going to be passed, it’s almost precisely like the one we asked for 2 weeks earlier,” Hoyer stated.

Marco Rubio is stressed this launch will be simply as disorderly as the one on April 3

For nearly two weeks, Sen. Marco Rubio, the Senate Small Business Committee chairman, has been progressively beating the drum for extra funding for PPP and lashing out at Democrats.

” Senate Democratic leaders chose to take the program hostage as take advantage of for unassociated products,” he said in an April 9 video on Twitter

On Monday, Rubio expressed some relief that a costs loomed however stressed that the nearly 1 million backlogged applications would develop the same sort of havoc that afflicted the launch of the program.

” PPP was never ever designed to be the ‘Appetite Games,'” Rubio said on Tuesday, just hours before the Senate was expected to call a vote on the new funding.

” We always understood the program would require more funds,” he added, reiterating his aggravation with Democratic leaders over the weeklong hold-up in the program. “That requires to end today.”

Donald Trump calls assistance for hospitals and local governments ‘extraneous’

During a coronavirus task force instruction on Saturday, President Donald Trump stated PPP loans have actually been a “game changer” for some small companies which a reauthorization vote need to be unanimous. He likewise blamed Democrats for hold-ups.

” Legislators should stop obstructing these funds and replenish the program without hold-up. The Democrats need to come on board,” he said.

Trump also called Democrats’ request for expanded testing capacity, support for state and local governments, and increased food aid “undesirable.”

” This is about COVID,” he said. “This isn’t about extraneous things that they have actually been trying to get for years which our country doesn’t desire them to have.”

However a day later, Trump acknowledged the need to assist state and city governments, suggesting that Republicans were keeping back that help for their own future political utilize.

” Some states and city governments require it. I’m the very first one to admit that,” he stated. “We’re going to be conserving that for another little bit of a later date.”

After conversations on Sunday, Trump said he anticipated to authorize the increase this week

Lenders state an additional $300 billion will last only a few days

During the very first stage of the lending program, loans were given at rates of more than $3 billion per hour– and since then, a lot more lenders and applicants have actually joined the fray.

Over 5,000 lenders are now authorized to take part in the program, and banking-industry representatives said the program would use up $50 billion per day, according to Politico At that rate, the financing authorized today would be consumed by next week, if not quicker.

” This is going to go within, at many, 72 hours,” Richard Hunt, the president of the Customer Bankers Association, told Politico. “However the chances are more like 48 hours.”

Large banks have actually disclosed numbers that reflect amazing demand. A Chase executive informed NBC that all 27,000 loan applications the bank approved had been gotten within 5 minutes of the opening of its portal; 33,000 additional applications from that time window were left waiting.

4 large banks– Wells Fargo, Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, and Bancorp– are now dealing with class-action lawsuits from complainants in California who declare that the lending institutions focused on applications to make the most of gains from the program’s charge schedule.

To attend to issues that “underbanked” company– especially rural and minority entrepreneurs– were being left out, Congress concurred to allocate $60 billion for banks with possessions of $50 billion or less.

Little services still require $1 trillion to make it through

Less than 3%of the expected 60 million PPP applicants were authorized prior to the very first round of funds were tired, and banking-industry specialists said the program needed about $1 trillion more in moneying to fulfill the need, Politico reported.

At least six restaurant chains got more than $80 million in coronavirus stimulus loans.

In addition, the program’s 1%interest rate attracted debtors who acknowledged their companies didn’t require them.

The billionaire Mark Cuban informed Forbes that it made sense the PPP loans were driven by loan providers’ connections.

” These are the customers the banks understand the finest and can authorize the fastest, and most likely are among the most significant of their small service customers because that’s who they would invest the most time with,” he stated.

%%.

from Job Search Tips https://jobsearchtips.net/washington-and-wall-street-squabble-over-extra-small-business-funding/

[rollingpens]

Covid-19: Americans support for 'hardest, saddest' seven day stretch of their lives- RollingPens

In the midst of the desperate news, there were likewise hints of something better over the horizon — the quantity of individuals passing on had all the earmarks of being easing back in New York City, Spain and Italy.

Americans propped for what the country's top specialist cautioned Sunday would be "the hardest and saddest week" of their lives while Britain expected the unwelcome mantle of deadliest coronavirus problem area in Europe following a record 24-hour bounce in passings that outperformed even hard-hit Italy's.

England's own head administrator,

Boris Johnson

, was hospitalized, 10 days in the wake of testing positive for

COVID-19

in what his office portrayed as a "prudent advance."

In the midst of the desperate news, there were additionally promises of something better — the quantity of individuals kicking the bucket had all the earmarks of being easing back in New York City, Spain and Italy. The news was carefully invited by pioneers, who additionally noticed that any increases could without much of a stretch be turned around if individuals didn't keep on clinging to exacting lockdowns.

What's more, U.S. Top health spokesperson Jerome Adams offered an unmistakable admonition about the normal flood of infection passings.

"This will be our Pearl Harbor minute, our 9/11 minute,'' he told "Fox News Sunday."

In an uncommon broadcast address to her nation, in the interim, Queen Elizabeth II additionally engaged Britons to rise the event, while recognizing huge interruptions, distress and money related troubles.

"I trust in the years to come, everybody will have the option to invest heavily by they way they reacted to this test," she said. "Furthermore, the individuals who come after us will say that the Britons of this age were as solid as any."

In New York City, the U.S. focal point of the pandemic, day by day passings dropped marginally, alongside escalated care confirmations and the quantity of patients who required breathing cylinders embedded, however New York state Gov. Andrew Cuomo cautioned that it was "too soon to tell" the essentialness of those numbers.

Italy and Spain additionally made some energize news. Italy enlisted its most reduced everyday increment in passings in over about fourteen days — 525, said Angelo Borrelli, the leader of the national Civil Protection office. The pace of contamination likewise appeared to slow.

All things considered, Borrelli cautioned, "This uplifting news shouldn't make us bring down our defenses."

Affirmed contaminations fell in Spain, as well, and new passings declined for the third consecutive day, dropping to 674 — the first run through every day passings have fallen underneath 800 in the previous week.

"We are beginning to see the promising finish to the present course of action," Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez said.

The standpoint, nonetheless, stayed disheartening in Britain, which detailed in excess of 600 passings Sunday, outperforming Italy's expansion. Italy despite everything has by a long shot the world's most noteworthy coronavirus loss of life — right around 16,000.

Johnson, in the interim, has been hospitalized, however his office said it was anything but a crisis and that the 55-year-old Conservative will experience tests.

There are worries that Johnson's administration didn't pay attention to the infection enough from the start and that spring climate will entice Britons and others to defy social separating norms.

Wellbeing Secretary Matt Hancock said the U.K. may even boycott open air practice if individuals despite everything ''ridicule the principles.''

"By far most of individuals are following the general wellbeing exhortation, which is completely basic, and remaining at home," Hancock revealed to Sky TV. "In any case, there are a little minority of individuals who are still not doing that — it's very mind blowing, to be honest, to see that."

As the quantities of diseases rose, the delegate leader of Britain's National Health Service Providers said the organization expected to concentrate on rapidly expanding ventilator limit and getting progressively defensive gear for human services laborers.

"I imagine that we are only seven days from the flood of this,'' Saffron Cordery disclosed to Sky TV.

Italians have not been resistant to draw of the great climate either. Top Italian authorities took to national TV after photographs were distributed demonstrating enormous groups out shopping in Naples, Rome, Genoa and even the hard-hit Veneto city of Padua. Lombardy Vice Gov. Fabrizio Sala said cellphone information demonstrated 38% of the area's kin were all over town — the most noteworthy figure since March 20.

Wellbeing Minister Roberto Speranza revealed to RAI state TV that all the penances Italians have made since the across the nation lockdown started on March 10 gambled being turned around.

Limitations on development shift from nation to nation. In Germany and Britain, occupants can get out to exercise and walk their pooches, just as go to the market, the mail station and do other fundamental assignments. However in Serbia and South Africa, hound strolling isn't permitted.

In France, heat-chasing rambles have been zooming over Fontainebleau woods to recognize rule-breakers after the previous illustrious domain in the Paris rural areas was shut to the general population.

In Sweden, specialists have prompted people in general to rehearse social removing, yet schools, bars and eateries are as yet open.

At the Vatican, Pope Francis observed Mass and favored palms for Palm Sunday in a close unfilled St. Subside's Basilica. Generally countless dedicated would have swarmed the square outside.

In New Orleans, Rev. Emmanuel Mulenga favored palm fronds and put them on a table close the rear of his Saint Augustine Catholic Church — so individuals could get them while additionally watching social separating.

Around the world, more than 1.2 million individuals have been affirmed tainted and almost 70,000 have passed on, as indicated by Johns Hopkins University. The genuine numbers are unquestionably a lot higher, because of restricted testing, various ways countries tally the dead and intentional under-announcing by certain legislatures.

By far most of contaminated individuals recoup from the infection, which is spread by minute beads from hacks or sniffles. For a great many people, the infection makes gentle moderate side effects, for example, fever and hack. In any case, for a few, particularly more established grown-ups and the sick, it can make pneumonia and lead passing. The World Health Organization says 95% of the known coronavirus passings in Europe have been in individuals more than 60.

The quick spread of the infection in the United States has incited a clamorous scramble for clinical hardware and defensive apparatus.

An Associated Press survey of government buying contracts demonstrated that administrative organizations to a great extent held up until mid-March — over two months after the main alerts of a potential pandemic — to start putting in mass requests of N95 respirator covers, mechanical ventilators and other hardware required by cutting edge social insurance laborers.

At that point, emergency clinics in a few states were treating a huge number of tainted patients without satisfactory hardware and arguing for shipments from the national store. Since reserve is about depleted similarly as the quantities of patients requiring basic consideration is flooding.

Rebekah Gee, who heads the Louisiana State University's social insurance administrations division, might want to the government to be progressively included and cautioned that the private and open part have been rivaling one another, prompting cost increments.

Hmm, who once ran the state's Department of Health, said one of her associates went on eBay to purchase outfits, while gear her specialization requested from China got slowed down for a considerable length of time in Hong Kong.

"Our entire nation is at war with this infection," she said. "There's just a specific number of ventilators on the planet. This needs an organized methodology, and right well that is not occurring."

Louisiana and the New Orleans zone have been hard hit by the infection, and Gov. John Bel Edwards has more than once cautioned of approaching deficiencies for ventilators and emergency unit.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, chief of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said Sunday that he trusted the pace of new contaminations would level soon, yet that the infection is probably not going to be totally annihilated for the current year.

Talking "All over the Nation," Fauci said the possibility of a resurgence is the reason the U.S. is endeavoring to be more ready, including attempting to build up an immunization and leading clinical preliminaries on medicines.

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What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service

Is it Possible to Commission a Decent Logo Online?

A memorable and effective logo design is like the ballet: It looks easy, but it represents thousands of hours of hard work and sweat, research and thought, plus an occasional dose of frustration, distilled into a tiny beautiful moment. Within the field of graphic design, logo design is a subspecialty that commands high prices, and for good reason. However, there are now plenty of websites where, for nominal fees, anyone can commission a logo or create one themselves by choosing from a kit of icons and typeface options, mixing and matching to their heart’s content.

This development was inevitable, and many professional designers hate the thought that their years of training and expertise are not valued by potential clients who think design services are overpriced and that their kids could do just as good a job designing a logo. It’s almost too easy to make fun of the whole thing as a design travesty, etc.

But assumptions aside: Is it possible to commission a decent logo from one of the interactive places? We decided to find out.

Designing a Logo with an Online Service

I invented a company whose sole product is called Cat Crunchies, and randomly selected a logo design website. It promised four separate logo concepts (though you receive only one as a final) created by two dedicated designers, with 48-hour turnaround, unlimited revisions, and a money-back guarantee. With a coupon offer, the lowest-priced package cost $39 (normally $149).

On each round of comments I gave deliberately ambiguous feedback. In an ideal world, when this happens a graphic designer comes back to the client for a quick conversation to clarify and learn what he or she was really hoping to see. Because my only option for phone contact was with a very nervous-sounding project manager working out of what sounded like a telemarketing room, I was never given an opportunity to communicate directly with the people responsible for bringing my vision to life.

JOB SPECIFICATIONS

Exact name to appear on logo: Cat Crunchies

Slogan (if any): Vegan, gluten-free treats for cats

Preferred style of logo: Modern

Look and feel: We want to convey the feeling of love for your cat and wanting to give him or her the very best healthy treats.

Additional comments: Comes in six flavors, provides 12 essential vitamins and minerals, cleans teeth and promotes healthy gums, responsibly sourced ingredients.

I added a random photo of my own cat, who sadly never made an appearance in any of the logo versions.

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE BUSINESS

Started in a garage in Brooklyn in the fall of 2017, Cat Crunchies aims to give cat owners a healthy alternative to heavily processed treats found in supermarkets. We give 15% of profits to animal shelters and sponsor quarterly Adopt-A-Cat fairs. Every batch of Cat Crunchies is baked by hand and packaged in our signature tins.

EXPECTATIONS

Based on the information I provided and the above criteria, ideally the logo would allude in some way to a cat, perhaps communicate the idea of a crunchy treat as opposed to a daily meal, and also emphasize a healthy, small-batch, socially responsive vibe. I asked for “modern,” so I was hoping to see clean, contemporary-looking solutions to the assignment.

Version One: The Aristocat

This solution was puzzling from the get-go. The Disney quality of the illustration doesn’t fit with any part of the design brief.

Client request after round one: Can we please try different and fewer colors, these look cartoon-y, and a more modern style of letters? Note: It isn’t only the colors that’s lending this one its cartoon vibe; it’s the illustration style. The designer needed to read between the lines of what I asked for and what I was objecting to, in order to fully resolve the issue.

What I got back? Salmon pink makes an appearance and the typeface has gone from a vaguely thorny serif to a squared sans. Not more modern, but definitely different. Cat remains the same.

Client request after round two: I like the colors better, but the cat looks very feminine. I worry that cat owners will think these treats are just for girl cats. Is there a way to fix that?

Resolution: Disney cat is gone, replaced with Maneki Neko, the lucky cat charm popular in Japanese and Chinese cultures. Huh? Less feminine perhaps, but not more appropriate—in fact, that kind of came out of nowhere, and doesn’t suit the brief either. Many people associate the color pink with femininity, so the designer might have tried to address that by presenting another color choice.

Decision: Unusable.

Managing a Web Design Project from Start to Finish: A HOW Design University Course

Version Two: Corporate Cat

Navy blue and maroon are odd color choices for this project, considering they are most often seen in conservative palettes used for banking and/or insurance companies. Nothing about the color choices feels organic or food-related, says “cat,” or communicates anything about the use of natural healthy ingredients.

Client request after round one: I would like to see how it looks to play up the “Vegan” and “Gluten-Free” on this one since this is important to our customers. Can the colors look more like cat fur? [Note: this last remark was a deliberate attempt to be annoying.]

What I got back? Vegan and gluten free are now red instead of blue. No other methods of emphasis: change of scale, typeface, position were sent. Comment about cat fur colors ignored.

Client request after round two: Can we put the “vegan/gluten-free” into a separate little burst or a bubble? Also it would be good to try colors that look more like a cat.

Resolution: Half-hearted bubble drawn around existing words, with addition of a background color that is the same value as the red type, so the type basically disappears from lack of contrast. Second ask to try cat fur colors ignored. Designer appears to have given up.

Decision: Unusable.

Version Three: Hello Amoeba Kitty

This one was so depressing from the get-go (boring colors, unappealing blobby cat) that I almost didn’t attempt to work with it. Still, hope springs eternal.

Client request after round one: Could this one feel more exciting and show how owners love their cats? Maybe the letters are too plain, or the colors? [Note: This is a kind of typically vague client feedback. Unhappiness is expressed, but no real solid direction offered.]

What I got back? I have no idea what happened here. I imagine the designer with six YouTube windows open, texting, and microwaving a Hot Pocket while talking on a headset.

Request after round two: This one still doesn’t feel like it shows how you love your cat, maybe it’s the color or maybe it needs something that says love, like hearts or a hug?

Resolution: Holy crow. That heart is applied like a Band-Aid with no attempt to integrate it into the rest of the design. If the solution doesn’t work, solve it another way. Colors unchanged.

Decision: Unusable.

Version Four: Peek A Boo

The initial try had a playful quality that I appreciated. Although the cat looked a bit like an insect, this one seemed the most promising of the four design options.

Client request after round one: I think this would look good with fun colors and if the word crunchies was not cutting into the cat. Is it possible to say “cat” without showing a drawing of one? [Note: this was not a direct request to take the cat out.]

What I got back? The cat is gone, never to return. Colors are definitely more “fun.” The word crunchies is still overlaid atop the word cat, though.

Client request after round two: The word crunchies is still cutting into the word cat, can you move it down? (Perhaps I should have asked for the restoration of the cat drawing just to see what might have happened.)

Resolution: I got everything I asked for.

Decision: So is this a good logo? Sadly, no. Just filling a client’s requests doesn’t make for good design; a designer has to listen to feedback then think on it and offer better solutions. Most clients don’t speak the language of design well enough to be able to say what they really want; a designer’s job is partly to act as interpreter, define and solve the problem, and make suggestions on how to get there. This logo has some worthwhile qualities—the use of a textured typeface that jumps up and down from its baseline for the word Crunchies communicates noise and activity, and overall the design feels lighthearted, suitable for a pet treat product. But the kerning on “cat” is terrible and the word cat is not properly centered over crunchies.

Why It Just Didn’t Work

On all four options, there were no real explorations of other concepts or potential solutions on any version after feedback. Changing small details like a type color or adding a burst to an existing design that isn’t working tends not to solve the problem. If a client asks to put something into a bubble, chances are good the designer has to rearrange things, play with scale and maybe a different typeface. What I got back weren’t really new versions, they were just quick alterations on the first idea. It felt like there was no opportunity for the designers to play and experiment, to try other options as what-ifs … in other words, the fun part of their jobs seemed absent.

This is not meant as a critique of the talent or abilities of the people assigned to my project. It’s more an illustration of the basic fact that all design, and logo design in particular, is about communication and vision. The designers and I never spoke but went through comments provided through an online form, via a middleman who probably had a dozen other projects he was trafficking at the same time. Even at the busiest, largest design agencies a client always has a chance to meet with the people on the design team, hear what they have to say, engage and exchange ideas, and collaborate. That’s what was missing from this experience, and that’s how I ended up with a hot pink and lime green logo for my vegan, gluten-free, small-batch Cat Crunchies.

Know what it is to put your own design acumen behind a great logo design? Don’t just let it sit there. Submit it for consideration to the HOW Logo Design Awards, accepting entries for a limited time!

The post What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service appeared first on HOW Design.

What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service syndicated post

[dawnajaynes32]

What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service

Is it Possible to Commission a Decent Logo Online?

A memorable and effective logo design is like the ballet: It looks easy, but it represents thousands of hours of hard work and sweat, research and thought, plus an occasional dose of frustration, distilled into a tiny beautiful moment. Within the field of graphic design, logo design is a subspecialty that commands high prices, and for good reason. However, there are now plenty of websites where, for nominal fees, anyone can commission a logo or create one themselves by choosing from a kit of icons and typeface options, mixing and matching to their heart’s content.

This development was inevitable, and many professional designers hate the thought that their years of training and expertise are not valued by potential clients who think design services are overpriced and that their kids could do just as good a job designing a logo. It’s almost too easy to make fun of the whole thing as a design travesty, etc.

But assumptions aside: Is it possible to commission a decent logo from one of the interactive places? We decided to find out.

Designing a Logo with an Online Service

I invented a company whose sole product is called Cat Crunchies, and randomly selected a logo design website. It promised four separate logo concepts (though you receive only one as a final) created by two dedicated designers, with 48-hour turnaround, unlimited revisions, and a money-back guarantee. With a coupon offer, the lowest-priced package cost $39 (normally $149).

On each round of comments I gave deliberately ambiguous feedback. In an ideal world, when this happens a graphic designer comes back to the client for a quick conversation to clarify and learn what he or she was really hoping to see. Because my only option for phone contact was with a very nervous-sounding project manager working out of what sounded like a telemarketing room, I was never given an opportunity to communicate directly with the people responsible for bringing my vision to life.

JOB SPECIFICATIONS

Exact name to appear on logo: Cat Crunchies

Slogan (if any): Vegan, gluten-free treats for cats

Preferred style of logo: Modern

Look and feel: We want to convey the feeling of love for your cat and wanting to give him or her the very best healthy treats.

Additional comments: Comes in six flavors, provides 12 essential vitamins and minerals, cleans teeth and promotes healthy gums, responsibly sourced ingredients.

I added a random photo of my own cat, who sadly never made an appearance in any of the logo versions.

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE BUSINESS

Started in a garage in Brooklyn in the fall of 2017, Cat Crunchies aims to give cat owners a healthy alternative to heavily processed treats found in supermarkets. We give 15% of profits to animal shelters and sponsor quarterly Adopt-A-Cat fairs. Every batch of Cat Crunchies is baked by hand and packaged in our signature tins.

EXPECTATIONS

Based on the information I provided and the above criteria, ideally the logo would allude in some way to a cat, perhaps communicate the idea of a crunchy treat as opposed to a daily meal, and also emphasize a healthy, small-batch, socially responsive vibe. I asked for “modern,” so I was hoping to see clean, contemporary-looking solutions to the assignment.

Version One: The Aristocat

This solution was puzzling from the get-go. The Disney quality of the illustration doesn’t fit with any part of the design brief.

Client request after round one: Can we please try different and fewer colors, these look cartoon-y, and a more modern style of letters? Note: It isn’t only the colors that’s lending this one its cartoon vibe; it’s the illustration style. The designer needed to read between the lines of what I asked for and what I was objecting to, in order to fully resolve the issue.

What I got back? Salmon pink makes an appearance and the typeface has gone from a vaguely thorny serif to a squared sans. Not more modern, but definitely different. Cat remains the same.

Client request after round two: I like the colors better, but the cat looks very feminine. I worry that cat owners will think these treats are just for girl cats. Is there a way to fix that?

Resolution: Disney cat is gone, replaced with Maneki Neko, the lucky cat charm popular in Japanese and Chinese cultures. Huh? Less feminine perhaps, but not more appropriate—in fact, that kind of came out of nowhere, and doesn’t suit the brief either. Many people associate the color pink with femininity, so the designer might have tried to address that by presenting another color choice.

Decision: Unusable.

Managing a Web Design Project from Start to Finish: A HOW Design University Course

Version Two: Corporate Cat

Navy blue and maroon are odd color choices for this project, considering they are most often seen in conservative palettes used for banking and/or insurance companies. Nothing about the color choices feels organic or food-related, says “cat,” or communicates anything about the use of natural healthy ingredients.

Client request after round one: I would like to see how it looks to play up the “Vegan” and “Gluten-Free” on this one since this is important to our customers. Can the colors look more like cat fur? [Note: this last remark was a deliberate attempt to be annoying.]

What I got back? Vegan and gluten free are now red instead of blue. No other methods of emphasis: change of scale, typeface, position were sent. Comment about cat fur colors ignored.

Client request after round two: Can we put the “vegan/gluten-free” into a separate little burst or a bubble? Also it would be good to try colors that look more like a cat.

Resolution: Half-hearted bubble drawn around existing words, with addition of a background color that is the same value as the red type, so the type basically disappears from lack of contrast. Second ask to try cat fur colors ignored. Designer appears to have given up.

Decision: Unusable.

Version Three: Hello Amoeba Kitty

This one was so depressing from the get-go (boring colors, unappealing blobby cat) that I almost didn’t attempt to work with it. Still, hope springs eternal.

Client request after round one: Could this one feel more exciting and show how owners love their cats? Maybe the letters are too plain, or the colors? [Note: This is a kind of typically vague client feedback. Unhappiness is expressed, but no real solid direction offered.]

What I got back? I have no idea what happened here. I imagine the designer with six YouTube windows open, texting, and microwaving a Hot Pocket while talking on a headset.

Request after round two: This one still doesn’t feel like it shows how you love your cat, maybe it’s the color or maybe it needs something that says love, like hearts or a hug?

Resolution: Holy crow. That heart is applied like a Band-Aid with no attempt to integrate it into the rest of the design. If the solution doesn’t work, solve it another way. Colors unchanged.

Decision: Unusable.

Version Four: Peek A Boo

The initial try had a playful quality that I appreciated. Although the cat looked a bit like an insect, this one seemed the most promising of the four design options.

Client request after round one: I think this would look good with fun colors and if the word crunchies was not cutting into the cat. Is it possible to say “cat” without showing a drawing of one? [Note: this was not a direct request to take the cat out.]

What I got back? The cat is gone, never to return. Colors are definitely more “fun.” The word crunchies is still overlaid atop the word cat, though.

Client request after round two: The word crunchies is still cutting into the word cat, can you move it down? (Perhaps I should have asked for the restoration of the cat drawing just to see what might have happened.)

Resolution: I got everything I asked for.

Decision: So is this a good logo? Sadly, no. Just filling a client’s requests doesn’t make for good design; a designer has to listen to feedback then think on it and offer better solutions. Most clients don’t speak the language of design well enough to be able to say what they really want; a designer’s job is partly to act as interpreter, define and solve the problem, and make suggestions on how to get there. This logo has some worthwhile qualities—the use of a textured typeface that jumps up and down from its baseline for the word Crunchies communicates noise and activity, and overall the design feels lighthearted, suitable for a pet treat product. But the kerning on “cat” is terrible and the word cat is not properly centered over crunchies.

Why It Just Didn’t Work

On all four options, there were no real explorations of other concepts or potential solutions on any version after feedback. Changing small details like a type color or adding a burst to an existing design that isn’t working tends not to solve the problem. If a client asks to put something into a bubble, chances are good the designer has to rearrange things, play with scale and maybe a different typeface. What I got back weren’t really new versions, they were just quick alterations on the first idea. It felt like there was no opportunity for the designers to play and experiment, to try other options as what-ifs … in other words, the fun part of their jobs seemed absent.

This is not meant as a critique of the talent or abilities of the people assigned to my project. It’s more an illustration of the basic fact that all design, and logo design in particular, is about communication and vision. The designers and I never spoke but went through comments provided through an online form, via a middleman who probably had a dozen other projects he was trafficking at the same time. Even at the busiest, largest design agencies a client always has a chance to meet with the people on the design team, hear what they have to say, engage and exchange ideas, and collaborate. That’s what was missing from this experience, and that’s how I ended up with a hot pink and lime green logo for my vegan, gluten-free, small-batch Cat Crunchies.

Know what it is to put your own design acumen behind a great logo design? Don’t just let it sit there. Submit it for consideration to the HOW Logo Design Awards, accepting entries for a limited time!

The post What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service appeared first on HOW Design.

What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service syndicated post

[dawnajaynes32]

What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service

A memorable and effective logo design is like the ballet: It looks easy, but it represents thousands of hours of hard work and sweat, research and thought, plus an occasional dose of frustration, distilled into a tiny beautiful moment. Within the field of graphic design, logo design is a subspecialty that commands high prices, and for good reason. However, there are now plenty of websites where, for nominal fees, anyone can commission a logo or create one themselves by choosing from a kit of icons and typeface options, mixing and matching to their heart’s content. This development was inevitable, and many professional designers hate the thought that their years of training and expertise are not valued by potential clients who think design services are overpriced and that their kids could do just as good a job designing a logo. It’s almost too easy to make fun of the whole thing as a design travesty, etc. But assumptions aside: Is it possible to commission a decent logo from one of the interactive places? We decided to find out.

Designing a Logo with an Online Service: Is it Possible to Commission a Decent Logo?

I invented a company whose sole product is called Cat Crunchies, and randomly selected a logo design website. It promised four separate logo concepts (though you receive only one as a final) created by two dedicated designers, with 48-hour turnaround, unlimited revisions, and a money-back guarantee. With a coupon offer, the lowest-priced package cost $39 (normally $149).

On each round of comments I gave deliberately ambiguous feedback. In an ideal world, when this happens a graphic designer comes back to the client for a quick conversation to clarify and learn what he or she was really hoping to see. Because my only option for phone contact was with a very nervous-sounding project manager working out of what sounded like a telemarketing room, I was never given an opportunity to communicate directly with the people responsible for bringing my vision to life.

JOB SPECIFICATIONS

Exact name to appear on logo: Cat Crunchies

Slogan (if any): Vegan, gluten-free treats for cats

Preferred style of logo: Modern

Look and feel: We want to convey the feeling of love for your cat and wanting to give him or her the very best healthy treats.

Additional comments: Comes in six flavors, provides 12 essential vitamins and minerals, cleans teeth and promotes healthy gums, responsibly sourced ingredients.

I added a random photo of my own cat, who sadly never made an appearance in any of the logo versions.

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE BUSINESS

Started in a garage in Brooklyn in the fall of 2017, Cat Crunchies aims to give cat owners a healthy alternative to heavily processed treats found in supermarkets. We give 15% of profits to animal shelters and sponsor quarterly Adopt-A-Cat fairs. Every batch of Cat Crunchies is baked by hand and packaged in our signature tins.

EXPECTATIONS

Based on the information I provided and the above criteria, ideally the logo would allude in some way to a cat, perhaps communicate the idea of a crunchy treat as opposed to a daily meal, and also emphasize a healthy, small-batch, socially responsive vibe. I asked for “modern,” so I was hoping to see clean, contemporary-looking solutions to the assignment.

Version One: The Aristocat

This solution was puzzling from the get-go. The Disney quality of the illustration doesn’t fit with any part of the design brief.

Client request after round one: Can we please try different and fewer colors, these look cartoon-y, and a more modern style of letters? Note: It isn’t only the colors that’s lending this one its cartoon vibe; it’s the illustration style. The designer needed to read between the lines of what I asked for and what I was objecting to, in order to fully resolve the issue.

What I got back? Salmon pink makes an appearance and the typeface has gone from a vaguely thorny serif to a squared sans. Not more modern, but definitely different. Cat remains the same.

Client request after round two: I like the colors better, but the cat looks very feminine. I worry that cat owners will think these treats are just for girl cats. Is there a way to fix that?

Resolution: Disney cat is gone, replaced with Maneki Neko, the lucky cat charm popular in Japanese and Chinese cultures. Huh? Less feminine perhaps, but not more appropriate—in fact, that kind of came out of nowhere, and doesn’t suit the brief either. Many people associate the color pink with femininity, so the designer might have tried to address that by presenting another color choice.

Decision: Unusable.

Managing a Web Design Project from Start to Finish: A HOW Design University Course

Version Two: Corporate Cat

Navy blue and maroon are odd color choices for this project, considering they are most often seen in conservative palettes used for banking and/or insurance companies. Nothing about the color choices feels organic or food-related, says “cat,” or communicates anything about the use of natural healthy ingredients.

Client request after round one: I would like to see how it looks to play up the “Vegan” and “Gluten-Free” on this one since this is important to our customers. Can the colors look more like cat fur? [Note: this last remark was a deliberate attempt to be annoying.]

What I got back? Vegan and gluten free are now red instead of blue. No other methods of emphasis: change of scale, typeface, position were sent. Comment about cat fur colors ignored.

Client request after round two: Can we put the “vegan/gluten-free” into a separate little burst or a bubble? Also it would be good to try colors that look more like a cat.

Resolution: Half-hearted bubble drawn around existing words, with addition of a background color that is the same value as the red type, so the type basically disappears from lack of contrast. Second ask to try cat fur colors ignored. Designer appears to have given up.

Decision: Unusable.

Version Three: Hello Amoeba Kitty

This one was so depressing from the get-go (boring colors, unappealing blobby cat) that I almost didn’t attempt to work with it. Still, hope springs eternal.

Client request after round one: Could this one feel more exciting and show how owners love their cats? Maybe the letters are too plain, or the colors? [Note: This is a kind of typically vague client feedback. Unhappiness is expressed, but no real solid direction offered.]

What I got back? I have no idea what happened here. I imagine the designer with six YouTube windows open, texting, and microwaving a Hot Pocket while talking on a headset.

Request after round two: This one still doesn’t feel like it shows how you love your cat, maybe it’s the color or maybe it needs something that says love, like hearts or a hug?

Resolution: Holy crow. That heart is applied like a Band-Aid with no attempt to integrate it into the rest of the design. If the solution doesn’t work, solve it another way. Colors unchanged.

Decision: Unusable.

Version Four: Peek A Boo

The initial try had a playful quality that I appreciated. Although the cat looked a bit like an insect, this one seemed the most promising of the four design options.

Client request after round one: I think this would look good with fun colors and if the word crunchies was not cutting into the cat. Is it possible to say “cat” without showing a drawing of one? [Note: this was not a direct request to take the cat out.]

What I got back? The cat is gone, never to return. Colors are definitely more “fun.” The word crunchies is still overlaid atop the word cat, though.

Client request after round two: The word crunchies is still cutting into the word cat, can you move it down? (Perhaps I should have asked for the restoration of the cat drawing just to see what might have happened.)

Resolution: I got everything I asked for.

Decision: So is this a good logo? Sadly, no. Just filling a client’s requests doesn’t make for good design; a designer has to listen to feedback then think on it and offer better solutions. Most clients don’t speak the language of design well enough to be able to say what they really want; a designer’s job is partly to act as interpreter, define and solve the problem, and make suggestions on how to get there. This logo has some worthwhile qualities—the use of a textured typeface that jumps up and down from its baseline for the word Crunchies communicates noise and activity, and overall the design feels lighthearted, suitable for a pet treat product. But the kerning on “cat” is terrible and the word cat is not properly centered over crunchies.

Why It Just Didn’t Work

On all four options, there were no real explorations of other concepts or potential solutions on any version after feedback. Changing small details like a type color or adding a burst to an existing design that isn’t working tends not to solve the problem. If a client asks to put something into a bubble, chances are good the designer has to rearrange things, play with scale and maybe a different typeface. What I got back weren’t really new versions, they were just quick alterations on the first idea. It felt like there was no opportunity for the designers to play and experiment, to try other options as what-ifs … in other words, the fun part of their jobs seemed absent.

This is not meant as a critique of the talent or abilities of the people assigned to my project. It’s more an illustration of the basic fact that all design, and logo design in particular, is about communication and vision. The designers and I never spoke but went through comments provided through an online form, via a middleman who probably had a dozen other projects he was trafficking at the same time. Even at the busiest, largest design agencies a client always has a chance to meet with the people on the design team, hear what they have to say, engage and exchange ideas, and collaborate. That’s what was missing from this experience, and that’s how I ended up with a hot pink and lime green logo for my vegan, gluten-free, small-batch Cat Crunchies.

The post What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service appeared first on HOW Design.

What’s Wrong with This Picture? Designing a Logo with an Online Service syndicated post