tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

I love that you put Lawrence in his full chasuble and cope and Benitez in a civillian overcoat. Reflecting how Lawrence is consumed by his role and responsibilities and how Benitez is more grounded in the rest of the world than everyone else at the Conclave.

conclavement

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

ao3 mcu a:aou abo bdsm ot3 hs au pwp

the fact that this is completely understandable and rather descriptive makes me rethink what i’ve done with my life

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)

And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".

And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try

I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else

And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T

But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me

And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"

And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

And like

It just sorta

Kept going?

And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands

And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting

And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting

So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie

and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"

So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."

So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me

The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment

But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

what the hell I watched the wgf x peter straughan script breakdown of conclave (2024), took notes, and made graphics of the script + screenshots so you didn't have to. have a visual guide.

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

My wife an acupuncturist had a patient talking about how much they missed the old seasons of Bake Off since they’re almost impossible to find in the US through legit means.

Like a back alley trench coat wearing peddler my beloved goes, “You know… my wife has… ways….”

So the patient brought a 10GB flash drive in for my wife to pass off to me. I filled it with two seasons worth of contraband.

But like all cravings it only grew after being fed.

The next flash drive was a whole ass terabyte. I dumped all that I had onto it which includes some of the mini bakes for charity and handed it off to be slid under the table to the patient.

I am the captain of SS Bake Off.

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

conclavement

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

He says this every time, and every time he is wrong

JayVik, early days…

Horny Viktor has no consideration for Future Viktor’s back

Full art here cause this site hates fun

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

very often i think about this one anecdote from my life that despite being 100% real just seems almost comically tailor-made to prove a point about passport privilege, like it's so on the nose

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

I love her little smile when she asks how many copies he needs. She's seeing Lawrence not only protect and support Shanumi, but expose the man who put her in this environment to begin with. After Shanumi was forced into silence to protect Adayemi's career, Lawrence is making a public spectacle of Tremblay? Of course she wants a piece of the action!!

I could write a whole essay about the nuns in this film but the scene where Sister Agnes insistently tries to not let Cardinal Lawrence in because he has not yet proven himself and she is probably used to the men of the Church making absolutely everything worse is (one of) the moments I realized this movie Understood™️. The fact that Sister Agnes becomes an ally after Lawrence proves that he does actually act out of love and pastoral care? That’s the good good shit.

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

Someone: transmascs can’t say tranny because [insert some random shit about how transmascs are immune from transphobia etc etc] so basically transphobia and slurs are never directed at them blah blah

some transphobe upon hearing someone on t speak: nice tranny voice faggot

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

Yes, potentially, maybe (there is some stuff about how a few of the leading candidates are shady and at least one person had their life nearly wrecked by one of them), sadly no, yes, yes, I give it a 4

Honestly I feel like it's more of a political thriller that happens to take place in Vatican City. It's examining the whole "the Catholic church is an institution subject to the same faults as the humans running it" but invites us to imagine a slightly nicer version of it. I think that's mainly bc if you really tried getting into the nitty gritty you'd need at least a 10 episode series.

My relationship to Catholicism is different to yours so I can't promise our experiences will be the same, but I can say there's a monologue around the end of the first act that genuinely rocked my world a bit.

Also the vaping cardinal is very silly and I want Carlos Diehz to be in more stuff. It's the dude's first feature film and he's alongside some real heavyweight character actors and he holds his own.

Hey, queers! Should I watch conclave? Will it trigger my Catholic trauma? Will it make me relive the time I was collateral damage in an international magisterium beef? Do the wrinkly priests kiss with tongue? Will it make my soul ache for hypostatic union? Is the score haunting? What do rate conclave out of 5 stars?

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

Out of Touch

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

Here’s SWEETROCK, the 24 hour comic I drew this year!

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

#they will be buried in the same grave and their bones will be so intertwined as to be indistinguishable from each other

I've actually been looking at what the funeral rites are for Popes and Cardinals for a one shot, and while they wouldn't be buried in the same grave, they could absolutely be interred in the same church.

Also it's not unheard of for the Pope to give a homily or even celebrate the funerary mass at a Cardinal's funeral. So should Thomas die first Vincent might conduct the funeral.

thinking about Lawrence and Benitez's relationship after the events of the film. Both viewing the other as better suited for the papacy than themselves. Vincent leaning on Thomas during his rapid ascention to head of the church, grounding him through the chaos. Thomas leaning on Vincent as he continues in his responsibilites, a light in the madness of diplomacy he must navigate. Vincent restores Thomas' faith in God, but Thomas restores Vincent's faith in himself.

They will die within days of one another.

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

thinking about Lawrence and Benitez's relationship after the events of the film. Both viewing the other as better suited for the papacy than themselves. Vincent leaning on Thomas during his rapid ascention to head of the church, grounding him through the chaos. Thomas leaning on Vincent as he continues in his responsibilites, a light in the madness of diplomacy he must navigate. Vincent restores Thomas' faith in God, but Thomas restores Vincent's faith in himself.

They will die within days of one another.

[tinkertytonkanddownwiththenazis]

thinking about Lawrence and Benitez's relationship after the events of the film. Both viewing the other as better suited for the papacy than themselves. Vincent leaning on Thomas during his rapid ascention to head of the church, grounding him through the chaos. Thomas leaning on Vincent as he continues in his responsibilites, a light in the madness of diplomacy he must navigate. Vincent restores Thomas' faith in God, but Thomas restores Vincent's faith in himself.

They will die within days of one another.