#got off the plane in charlotte and even walking through the jet bridge it was walter white falling.gif. like 90 degrees or something

[gobbluthbutagirl]

i’ve had a headache since i left the airport yesterday and i thought maybe it would go away while i was asleep but it did not. hoping it will go away when i drink some coffee because if not i guess i’ll just have to live like this until i die

[halogensleep]

a warzone could be the happiest place on earth (if i was there with you)

Charlotte looked to the overhead cabin for a moment to gather herself, her thoughts, her last bit of patience. The other passengers had started to disembark with grumbles and agitated, inconvenienced tsks. Charlotte refused to remove her seatbelt, still. The human sales-jingle sat beside her began to nudge her fingers towards the buckled clasp in an attempt to gain some progress.

Charlotte slapped her hand away.

“Rebecca I am not getting off of this fucking plane,” Charlotte dropped her voice to a severe whisper.

Becky lifted her chin. “Oh believe me, yes you are!” She nodded emphatically.

“I’m not,” Charlotte protested with a petulant shake of the head. “Nope, I’m not doing this.”

“We’re going to get up and go to the hotel for the night,” Becky insisted softly, as if she were reassuring and placating a child throwing a tantrum. “The bus drops us off, it picks us up in the afternoon, and Bob’s your uncle, we’re off to Tel Aviv!” It was said with the most upbeat, cheery voice possible.

The human sales-jingle tried to unbuckle the seatbelt again. Charlotte slapped her hand away a little harder this time.

“Please don’t do this,” her wife warned, already anticipating the meltdown.

“Cyprus is forty minutes west. This plane is either taking us there, or I’m going to sit here until a charter jet is on the runway ready for us.” Charlotte forcefully tempered her voice into a strange, deceivingly calm tone. “I’ll sit here on the tarmac all day, please try me. I am fresh out of fucks, Becky.”

“Do not do this.” Becky pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is really not the time or place to make a scene—”

“Oh, so now I’m making a scene!” Charlotte lost it, her head bobbing sarcastically. “Don’t worry, Charlotte. I’ll book a secret getaway, it will be like we’re on an episode of The Bachelor!” She parroted Becky’s words from a few, short weeks ago. “Good one, Becky! Look at us now, stuck here!” She pointed to the dusty, mountainous terrain beyond the window where civil unrest and war was brewing.

“Listen to me,” Becky lowered her voice to a tight, Irish whisper. “If you don’t march your arse off of this bloody plane I promise that you will never, ever, for as long as you live, see my rose again—”

“You know what I see right now?” Charlotte snapped and fidgeted deeper into the aisle seat. “Our lives, flashing before my eyes. You promised me relaxing! And this?” Her pointer finger gestured towards everything and nothing. “This ain’t it, chief.”

“Well maybe if you stopped being so dramatic then we could start relaxing!” The Man challenged and thumped herself backwards into her seat, embarrassed and glaring. “People are staring. We’re now that couple. The couple people stare at. I hope you’re pleased with yourself.”

“Becky we just made an emergency landing in the middle of Beirut!” Crescent-shaped marks were left either side of her nose from the pinching. “The plane had to corkscrew the landing so we didn’t get targeted by anti-aircraft fire!”

“That was a precautionary measure!” Becky snapped back.

“We are two women travelling alone who just so happen to be very western, very gay, and very famous, and you just want us to waltz off this plane into the nexus of the middle-eastern conflict. That’s what you’re asking me to do right now?” Charlotte clarified quite seriously. “Do you have a pre-made target that you want to stick on our backs or should we stop off at the gift shop to get some red paint?”

The aisles of the plane started to thin and empty out as the passengers dispersed into the arrival gate. It left them in an awkward predicament. The few other people onboard—namely, the air hostesses—beamed perfect lipstick smiles and gestured towards the aircraft exit, encouraging them to disembark, becoming more uncomfortable by the second as the couple in Row 42 continued their argument.

“I have been to places like this before and it’s not as scary as you think it is. We’re in the city, the touristy bit. And so long as we don’t go looking for trouble then trouble won’t come looking for us,” Becky urged and stood up from the seat, growing more flustered by the second. “Now, can you please move?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Charlotte furrowed into a look of disbelief. “Name one place you’ve been too that is nearly as dangerous as Lebanon. Please, I’ll wait.” She raised her hands and shrugged.

“I am literally from Dublin,” Becky glowered.

“Don’t do that. You don’t get to bring up The Troubles right now. It’s not the same thing—”

“Agadir, Lahore, Karachi, Mombai, Belfast, I can reel them off quicker than you can ask where they are.” She wasn’t lying. “Oh, and the United States of America! I’ve been there a fair few times too. Now, can we get off the plane yet?” Becky cocked a look.

“Right,” Charlotte sighed and closed her eyes, remembering suddenly. “You were an air hostess - got it.”

“That word is offensive and outdated, we prefer the term cabin crew,” Becky nibbled with irritation.

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise it was a racial epithet.”

“Right that is it!” Her wife burst and climbed across her lap, a knee jamming and rattling the small dinner tray as she clambered over and spilled into the aisle. “I am going to go and get in line for customs and you can come and join me when you’re finished with your temper tantrum!” Becky straightened her jacket and stormed down the galley.

…

To her surprise, the airport was modern, was metropolitan, was clean and lingering with the smell of expensive perfume from the designer duty-free stores that were dotted along the route towards customs and baggage.

When the pilot announced that the aircraft was being diverted to Beirut Rafic-Hariri Airport, Charlotte had imagined cratered buildings; taliban militants; gunfire whizzing overhead; a wartorn village with goats roaming free; children in dusty mismatching flip-flops that she would have to bribe to send SOS messages to the American embassy.

She glanced around the light airy airport terminal in disbelief as businessmen in sharp suits dodged around her. This… was not what she had in mind.

The relief was mind blowing.

The film reel of her worst case scenario was collated from movies and news coverage she had seen concerning the situation in the middle-east, or rather, places that were definitely not Beirut if the advertisements for their Gucci and Prada stores were anything to go by, Helmand Province and the Gaza Strip were certainly lacking in that department after all. Charlotte sighed and slunked through the arrivals terminal in search of her wife, well aware that she may have possibly, slightly, potentially, overreacted to the crisis.

She found Becky on a bench. She was eating something that smelled delicious, people watching, content with her solitude. Charlotte cleared her throat and stood straighter.

“Hi,” she said, nonchalantly.

“Try again,” Becky didn’t skip a beat, her tone slightly testy.

“Becky—”

“Again.” Becky insisted. “You know where this needs to start.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of the sacred sisterhood of the cabin crew!” Charlotte slumped and sat down beside her.

“And?” The brown eyes landed on her with a weight of expectancy.

“I’m sorry I made a scene.” Charlotte folded her arms. “Can I have a bite of your food now?”

“Not on your life.”

“A little one?” Charlotte sniffed the burrito-looking wrap with lamb spilling out of the end. “Smells good.”

“It’s a shawarma. Ah ah!” Becky hogged it away from her reaching hand. “You refused to get off the plane and made a huge scene less than six hours into our vacation. No shawarma for you.”

“Well since you’re so in love with Lebanon already we should probably go through customs and get the rest of our twenty-four hours here started.” Charlotte snatched her hand back to her lap and pouted slightly.

The food did smell very good after all.

…

“This is a bad idea.” Charlotte began to sweat.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Look!” She hissed and pointed at a large, bold fonted arabic sign that had been courteously translated into English. The crowd shuffled forward toward the border security officers waiting to stamp passports. Charlotte dropped her voice to a hiss, “I have been arrested before, Becky! I can’t enter the Lebanese Republic!”

“And that is why you’re going to smile, and you’re going to breathe, and when he asks if you have a criminal record, you’re definitely not going to mention you were arrested ten years ago—”

“She says, as if it wasn’t my fault!” Charlotte interrupted, displeased by the accusing tone.

“I know,” Becky hushed and patted her arm. “You’re right, it wasn’t your fault but I don’t think they will care about the semantics so let’s just leave it out, alright? You are clean as whistle, never even gone over the speed-limit as far as he’s concerned. Are we clear?”

Charlotte felt tiny beads of sweat form and drip along her brow as a border security agent waved them over. The pair of them walked slowly to the man staring at them from behind the glass. Charlotte fiddled with the strings on the hoodie and pushed her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose, looking guiltier by the moment.

“How long will you be staying in Lebanon?” He took both of their passports.

“Flight DA322,” Charlotte blurted. “We diverted here, for the night. So hopefully not very long.” There was a small, uncomfortable laugh.

“Mhm.” He hmph’d and stamped their passports, glancing at them both. “Go,” he waved them through.

“Wait, that’s it?” Charlotte tilted her head slightly. “No further questions? You’re not going to ask if I have a criminal record?”

“What?” He raised an accusing brow. “Do you have a criminal record?”

“Well… define criminal?”

“No! She’s just… she’s just being silly, sir.” Becky waved her hand dismissively and grabbed Charlotte’s wrist. “She drinks a lot, not to mention the amount of Ambien she took on that flight back there! It’s a wonder she’s still on her feet...” She smiled and tugged Charlotte by the hand through the small gate. “Come on love, I’ve told you before about mixing your sleeping pills… we better find you somewhere to lie down before you say anymore very untrue not accurate things…”

Becky sighed once they were out of earshot, her entire body relaxing into a state of annoyed relief. She blinked a few times and sucked her lips between her teeth, nodding her head, trying her hardest not to be furious because this was no doubt the one vacation they would get this year. They walked through the airport towards the baggage claim while a pensive silence loomed between them.

“Charlotte, I love you, but if you get yourself thrown into a foreign jail I am fucking denying that we’re married,” Becky lowered her voice to a threatening whisper. “I am not going down for you.”

“Considering we’re in a country where homosexuality is illegal go ahead and does both a favour and stick with that plan anyway!” Charlotte hissed quietly in her ear.

…

“Oh, you’re both married!” The hotel receptionist noticed their wedding rings with a smile.

“Yes,” Charlotte forced a tight smile too and drummed her nails on the marble counter, determined to leave it at that.

“Where are your husbands?” The receptionist made pleasant talk and clicked her keyboard in search of an available room.

“Back in the States.” Charlotte wasn’t technically lying, she did have two ex-husbands after all, and for all intents and purposes, she was more than happy for Becky to borrow one of them for the next ten minutes until this ordeal was over. “We’re here on business.” The lie deepened.

“You’re here on business?” The receptionist looked up with a slightly befuddled expression. “But you’ve only asked for one room? Normally when we get people here for business they book ahead, like their own privacy, that sort of thing.” She glanced between them both.

Becky sighed and blinked rapidly. “Reduced expenditures,” she explained casually with a wave of her hand. “Our boss is a bit of a cheapskate so I’m stuck with this one for the night.”

“What is it you both do?” The receptionist blinked, her smile unwavering, the questions refusing to end.

Charlotte began to feel like maybe she was growing suspicious.

“We’re Avon representatives.” She thought on her feet.

Becky hid her mouth behind a magazine and whispered beneath her breath, “That was what you came up with?” She gave Charlotte a look. “Avon representatives?” There was a mocking nod.

“She’s my trainee.” Charlotte beamed a bright smile and stuck to the story.

…

“Would you look at the view!” Becky gasped and stuck her hands on her hips. “Oh, I could live here. I could honestly live here!” She shook her head in awestruck disbelief.

“This is where you want to live, Becky? The middle of Beirut?” It was said pointedly. Charlotte raised an exasperated eyebrow and visibly deflated with relief now the door was closed and they were in private. “I can’t with you.” She stuck out her hand and shook her head.

“Oh somebody is just grumpy because they haven’t eaten yet!” Becky pished and drew back the curtains for a better view of the city.

Charlotte opened her mouth to protest but then her stomach grumbled, she knitted her lips together and rolled her eyes at the betrayal of her gut. Truth be told, she was absolutely starving. There was a room-service menu sat on the desk and so she picked it up and gave it the once over, desperate for a reason not to answer her wife’s abundant chirpiness.

Becky turned around, her eyes widening at the menu in hand.

“We are not ordering room service, Charlotte!” Becky snapped with abject horror in her eyes. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Have you lost your mind?”

“I know,” Charlotte relented and was thankful for a bit of common ground. “I’m nervous too but this hotel is rated five stars on TripAdvisor and it was the nicest one I could find on the Marriott app. The kitchen has to be up to code—”

“You’re unbelievable.” Becky closed her eyes.

“Honey, I have Immodium in my purse we will be fine—”

“I’m not saying no to room service because I’m worried about the kitchen! I’m saying no to room service because we are clearly going out tonight for dinner!” Becky opened her eyes and pointed to the city landscape outside. “Don’t you want to enjoy our vacation?”

“This was not the vacation I signed up for!” Charlotte’s eyes widened defensively.

“Well I am the wife you signed up for and I am telling you to change your outfit because we’re going out for dinner tonight!”

“God I hate you,” Charlotte half complained.

“Well why don’t you just go ahead and file a complaint with HR when we get back to Avon headquarters!” Becky nodded emphatically and stormed to the bathroom.

Charlotte turned her head and followed Becky with her eyes. “We could save water if we showered together—”

“Don’t even try your luck.” Becky put an immediate halt to it.

…

Beirut, as it turned out, was a clash of cosmopolitan and Ottoman architecture. It was vibrant, it was friendly, it was teeming with heat and the loud chatter of tourists and locals colliding together the closer they got to the harbour. The food was also ridiculously good. So much so that Charlotte went for a starter, main, and dessert too. An aperitif between each course to boot. Becky just stared at her the entire time with a ‘told you so’ type smirk while the top button of her high waisted slacks was let out.

“Here’s to us,” Becky raised a glass of champagne when the meal was cleared. “All things said and done, I’d say this is a great start to our vacation.” She looked towards the glimmering evening sea beyond the terrace.

“We’ve been to worse places, sure,” Charlotte managed a small concession as she clinked her wife’s glass. “You know,” she stopped and swallowed, unsure of how to say it without Becky gloating at the change of disposition. “If we have time tomorrow maybe we could go and see those rocks the cab driver mentioned?”

“Raouche? You want to visit Raouche tomorrow morning before the bus comes?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, she changes her tune quickly.”

“If you’re going to be like that…” Charlotte leaned back in her chair and glanced to the water, then to the bustling kitchen, at everything and anything other than her wife.

“I’m just playing.” Becky reached over and put her hand over Charlotte’s knuckles, her beaming white teeth on show with the emphaticness of her smile. “We can go see the rocks tomorrow, bright and early.”

“Breakfast too?” Charlotte lifted a brow.

“Pushing it but sure, why not?”

“Well alright,” Charlotte sighed and played with Becky’s thumb. “Do you want to go back to the hotel and commit a private liberty crime with me as judged by the Lebanese Republic?” She lifted a playful eyebrow.

“Well when you put it like that…”

…

Hans Zimmer - You’re So Cool - Song To Set The Scene

Outside, the cicadas hummed on the wind of the evening air, and the breeze drifted the curtains and kept the room cool and airy. Charlotte leaned back against the headboard of one of the twin beds in the room and rubbed her sleepy head, unsure she had the energy to kick off her trousers now the food was beginning to settle.

The buzzing of the bathroom light and fan whirred, along with the occasional thump of Becky’s footsteps as the Irish woman brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. Charlotte sighed into the peacefulness of it and fiddled with her phone. The bathroom door unlocked and creaked open. Charlotte peered up, her eyes widening at the sight.

The black lingerie was nearly see through, it clung to Becky’s soft muscular frame in all the best ways possible. Her long taut legs were clad with the thin fabric of dark suspenders, her breasts cradled in the flimsy material of a bralet that was trying its hardest to contain her tan cleavage, her bright ginger hair was coiffed and falling behind each shoulder blade. Becky just stood there and smiled, well aware that she was the type of meal her wife would always be hungry for no matter how well satiated her appetite.

“Well hello to you too,” Charlotte licked her lips nervously.

“Avon calling,” Becky whispered and strolled over. “You want to push these beds together so I have more room to show you our Summer collection?” She danced a hand up and over her suspender belt. “So many new products to show you, so little time.”

“Oh god.” Charlotte’s eyes widened.

“Oh yeah,” Becky nodded with a mischievous smirk. “We’re doing this.”

Charlotte damn near flew off the sheets to wrestle the beds together.

“The greatest wife, the best wife ever, so weird, so perfect,” she mumbled to herself and wiped her sweating brow as the beds were pressed against one another. “You never realise just how in the mood you are for weird roleplay sex until it creeps up on you out of nowhere.” She nodded seriously.

She could tell Becky was trying to stifle laughter, which only somehow made the whole affair more perfect. Charlotte watched her saunter over, her jaw nearly dropping at the sight of it, teeth sitting on the edges of one another with excitement as two dainty hands slipped over each shoulder and pushed her backwards onto the double bed they had fashioned.

“Do you like my lipstick?” Becky whispered and crawled on top of her until she was sat on Charlotte’s hips. “Does the shade suite me?” She puckered up and kissed her cheek.

“What’s the colour called?” Charlotte choked out the words and played along as her wife’s fingers awoke goosebumps along her biceps.

Becky stopped and smirked again. “It’s called Frustrated Wife.” The laughter was forcefully withheld behind her tight lips and she raised a suggestive eyebrow. “We also have a sister shade called Criminal Lesbian Activity...” Becky slipped a hand down Charlotte’s belly towards her pant zipper. “I’m just dying to show it to you, Mrs Flair.”

“Those seem like really off brand names for Avon shades?” Charlotte’s eyebrows did the thing.

“Shut up.”

“It’s just Frustrated Wife and Criminal Lesbian Activity don’t really seem like names for Avon colours you know? Maybe if we were doing an Urban Decay roleplay—”

“I said shut up,” Becky leaned forward and dropped her voice to a sultry whisper. “You’re ruining this.” She nibbled her earlobe. “You’re ruining it so bad.” A little giggle broke.

“Well alright.” Charlotte conceded as her pants were pulled off her hips. “So… how long have you been working for Avon? Are you… unionised?” She tried her hardest to get back into it.

“Mrs Flair!” Becky shot up with a playful gasp, her eyes widening a bit. “I have no idea how to respond to that piss-poor attempt at dirty talk and so I’m going to pretend it was a filthy euphemism!” She sing-songed slightly, burying herself forward until they were giggling nose to nose.

“Thank you for saving me,” Charlotte whispered and tucked her hands around the back of her wife’s thighs, sighing in relief. She adjusted Becky a bit and pulled her closer until they were tangled and warm, giggling slightly into the heat of each other like two happy idiots.

“Always,” Becky pecked her neck and slung her arms around the back of her shoulders. “You could never really ruin it if you tried.”

“So, given all of your expertise and many years of training,” Charlotte cleared her throat and felt her lips tug into a blushing smirk. “What kind of makeup do you think I should wear?” She leaned forward with an expectant stare.

Becky sighed and smiled. She grabbed Charlotte’s chin softly, her brown eyes glimmering with playfulness as she appraised the woman stuck between her finger and thumb. Finally, she let go of Charlotte’s chin and traced her finger down the slope of her nose, satisfied.

“Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear.” Becky pushed a rope of blonde hair behind Charlotte’s ear. “And you have tons of it, baby, so I think you should wear that and nothing else.” Her hand slipped around Charlotte’s spine towards the bra strap.

“Well aren’t you smooth.”

“They teach it at Avon school, it’s all part of the sales pitch.”

“You must really sell a lot of lipstick.”

“I don’t get many returns or complaints, you’re quite correct.”

To Charlotte, the woman in her lap was insane. But the slackened smile, the way her eyes grew bigger when she met her eyes, the mischievous wriggle of her lips, the everything, just made her smile back.

Still smiling, she twisted their positions and put the troublemaker on her spine where she belonged. It was one of her favourite things to do truth be told, whether it be professional and violent or… not so professional or violent. The first time they slept together she had expected it would crumble mountains, make the earth stop on its axis, but it was nothing like that. It was imperfect, silly even, and just like that it became the favourite most looked forward to part of her day.

“Nothing gets me going like when you’re in a stupid mood,” Charlotte chuckled as she kissed and nibbled.

“Does this make your top five?” Becky asked seriously.

“Oh, my top two for sure.” Charlotte nodded enthusiastically and slipped one of her black bra straps over the creamy ball of her shoulder. “Maybe even number one, the night’s still young.” She nibbled her collarbone.

“Number one, huh?” Becky raised a surprised brow. “I thought the Paris Situation was your favourite? You know I hate it when you go on tour without me...” She pouted slightly and played with the long blonde hair that framed Charlotte’s face. “Though, creative problems mean creative solutions.”

“We could have just had phone sex.” Charlotte whined. “You didn’t need to put a voodoo doll that looked like you in my luggage with a note to finger it every night.”

“Mmm, but I did though.” Becky smirked, utterly pleased with herself.

“You did,” Charlotte agreed and rolled her eyes, seeing the funny side. “You wanna let me get in these panties yet or are you planning on laying here all night giving me the memoriam reel of our sex life? Because I want you to scream my name so loud tonight the police throw us in jail and Stonewall have to campaign for our release… it would be a hell of a vacation story.” Charlotte lifted a serious brow.

“Proceed.” Becky lifted a leg and popped one of the tiny clasps on her suspenders.

It was the strangest, nerdiest sense of arousal. One moment they were joking around and the next Becky’s slender leg was in the air with that barely-there lingerie popping open like a scene from the Moulin Rouge. Her wife would always be capable of doing that to her, Charlotte had long since given up the belief she even had the modicum of will power necessary to deny it — war zone or no war zone.

Charlotte dove forward and didn’t spare the lingerie, her hands tugging and making a meal of it as she sucked and nibbled the underside of her wife’s taut jaw. It earned little throttled gasps, pleased noises, happy moans, small giggles, everything and nothing. When slender nimble fingers creeped around and felt along the dips of her back muscles she knew the kind of mood her wife was in, the type where she wanted to be thrown around and made sore with unhinged arousal. Charlotte was more than happy to oblige.

“Shit!” Becky gasped, and not in a good way.

The twin beds parted like the red sea and their bodies made an instant cracking thud against the marble floor. Luckily, Becky’s body broke the fall and so Charlotte was relatively unscathed. The same couldn’t be said for the troublemaker.

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Becky managed quite calmly and raised her sidebent knuckles. “Well I think I went and dislocated some of my fingers, that’s all we need!” She rolled her eyes at the mild inconvenience.

Charlotte nearly vomited.

“You think!? You think!?!?” Charlotte chided with wide eyes and couldn’t snatch her stare away from the injury. “Your middle finger is on the wrong way round, Becky! We need to go to the hospital!!” She pointed, horrified.

“Well there’s no need to be a drama queen about it,” Becky said quietly.

“We’re going to the emergency room.”

“For a few dislocated fingers?” Becky raised and incredulous brow. “You do know the emergency room is for emergencies only, right?” Becky pushed out her mangled hand. “Just give them a hard tug and I’ll be right as rain. I can’t promise I’ll be able to finger you tonight but I’ll give it a good go—”

“Your fingers look like fucking Crunchy Cheetos. If you think you’re ever putting them inside me again...” She hid her face away so she wouldn’t have to look at them. “I don’t know if we’re ever going to have sex again.” Charlotte swallowed hard.

“Oh for goodness sake,” Becky clambered up with a roll of her eyes as if Charlotte was being entirely unreasonable. She breezed straight past her and walked out of the room. “I’m going to reset and splint my fingers in the bathroom and when I come out you better be ready to kiss me where it counts. First day of our holiday and you’ve got your knickers in a twist over a few twisted fingers, shame of my bloody life!” She pointed one of her mangled fingers accusingly, albeit the finger was bent sideways and so it pointed off towards the drawers.

…

“I’m fine,” Becky slurred the attempt at trying to sound decisive as her wife shouldered her towards the plane they were now running slightly late for.

“You woke up crying three times. I had to wander the streets of Beirut at four this morning to find a pharmacy willing to sell me painkillers using traveller’s cheques. You are not fine. We are not fine. This is not fine.” Charlotte reminded, glancing at the bruised splinted fingers that were now straight and swollen.

“Traveller’s cheques.” Becky giggled to herself under her breath. “You’re such an old lady.”

“Well now you’re just being rude,” Charlotte couldn’t help but smirk.

“You still love me?”

“More than the air I breathe,” Charlotte didn’t skip a beat as the short troublemaker hopped and clutched at her arm.

“All things said and done I think this might be the best trip of my life so far,” Becky hmph’d tiredly and pressed her sleepy face against Charlotte’s arm as the line for the flight slowly came to a stop. “Here, with you, right now.”

“Relax,” Charlotte smirked and shook her head.

“I could be in a warzone and still have the best time so long as I was with my wife.”

“Becky—”

“I know, don’t spoil it.”

“Well alright,” Charlotte blinked and craned down to kiss the troublemaker’s temple. “Thank you for never letting me be annoyed for too long.” They shuffled forward towards the plane doors.

“You try so hard,” Becky pouted and patted her belly.

“You work me like a pro.” Charlotte eyeballed her seriously.

“Well, the Avon sales training is very thorough.”

“Excuse me?” Charlotte blushed and feigned ignorance.

Becky peered up at her mischievously. “You heard me,” she whispered, glancing away with a knowing smirk.

[thestudyof5sos]

Cryptic Messages (michievous!michael)

Summary: Charlie’s flying home for a last minute trip but she’s completely sleep deprived. To keep her self awake until boarding, she spends a few hours in the airport totally jamming to an album her best friend made her download at the last minute, 5SOS Meet You There Tour Live. She’s not super familiar with the band and wouldn’t recognize any of the guys if she was seated next to them. But wait, that’s what happens. Enjoy Charlie’s flight, Michael’s spy-antics, and a dash of Luke. Author: 🐾 @larryologymajor Fandon/Pairing: 5SOS /  Michael x original female character (platonic) Warnings/Tags: fluff, mischievous Michael on a plane Word count: ~2.4k

Cryptic Message

Charlie swung her backpack over her shoulder and stepped forward to scan her mobile boarding pass. As she waited, she hopped her head and swiveled her hips to the beat of the music in her wireless earbuds. She smiled at the gate attendant, said thank you, then danced her way into the jet bridge. She rearranged her chestnut and caramel topknot and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She was listening to a 5 Seconds of Summer album that her friend Bianca made her download while she was packing last night. Bianca said that she got access to an advanced copy of their new live album, recorded in London on their Meet You There Tour that just wrapped up. Bianca guaranteed Charlie would LOVE the band and the album. While the band had been around for a while and Charlie enjoyed the few singles she’d heard on the radio, she didn’t consider herself anything more than a casual fan and she’d never gone out of her way to look them up or check out their videos.

Charlie was dead tired on her feet. She’d been a walking zombie since her second double shift of the week three days ago. After work she rushed home to pack for a last minute trip back home to Chicago to visit her family. With a 3am wake up call, Charlie didn’t even bother going to bed the night before. She didn’t trust herself to wake up on time, so she stayed up all night packing and cleaning her apartment. She was mega grateful for Bianca making her download the album. The album was upbeat, face-paced, enough pop and rock, and the band members’ comedic antics on stage kept her awake and happy.

As she continued to groove her way down the jetbridge corridor, she peeked at the seat number on her screen before she slid her phone into her pocket. 27 Charlie. 27 Charlie. Charlie repeated the number in her head to the rhythm in her ears. That should be easy, she thought. Her birthday was on the 27th and Charlie has been a family nickname forever, short for Charlotte.

The line moved forward and a flight attended greeted Charlie as she stepped from the jet bridge into the plane. She walked down the narrow corridor and carefully tracked the rows, noting the main cabin was essentially packed and her randomly assigned seat was an aisle seat like she preferred. The aisle, she thought, allowed her greater freedom to get up and stretch or use the bathroom during the flight, which she would undoubtedly do at least once.

Still grooving and bopping to the music, she noticed an attractive guy a half dozen rows away from her, he too was seated in a aisle seat. He was eyeing her. Charlie caught him looking at her and made eye contact with him but continued to dance anyway. He smirked then quickly looked away.

Seconds before she reached her row, she reached around her bag to snag the rest of her her in-flight essentials from the front pocket and transferred them to her purse. Kindle: check. Phone charging cable: check. Backup phone battery: check.

She approached her row and frowned. Someone was in her seat. Not just someone but the cute guy who watched her dancing was in her seat.

While Charlotte tossed her backpack in the overhead bin she made brief eye contact with the guy sitting in her seat. For half a second too long she gazed into his green eyes before busting out her sassy attitude. “Excuse me, I believe you’re sitting in my seat. I should be 27C.” She watched the guy pull a crinkled up boarding pass from the seat pocket and study it. “Oops, I’m 27B.” He pushed his beanie back from his eyes. Charlotte rolled her eyes and watched the guy scoot into the seat to his left. She wanted a peaceful, non-hostile flight so she smiled at him, studying his face. “Thanks, 27B.” She lowered herself into the aisle seat. He chuckled and smiled. “I’m Michael.” Charlie nodded and returned the introduction. “Charlie. Nice to meet you.” She smiled again. As she carefully slid her kindle, phone battery, and USB cable in the seat back pocket, Michael engaged in conversation with a guy across the aisle from Charlie. She assumed they knew each other and thought that she should have taken the middle seat and let Michael take her aisle seat. Charlie didn’t have any clue that she was sitting next to the guitarist from the band she’d spent all morning listening to while dancing her way through the airport. She popped her earbuds out from her ears and wrapped them around the back of her neck and looped the ear pieces together in the front to form a necklace until she was ready to use them after takeoff. During the safety briefing video, Charlie listened to the boys on both sides of her chat back and forth about a tour and recording. She was so tired that she barely paid attention and didn’t really dwell on what they were saying or who they are. A short while later the plane was in the air making headway at cruising altitude. Michael tried to make small talk with her but Charlotte was tired. She opted for music and a nap instead of reading. She slipped on her earbuds and resumed Meet You There Tour Live. She was easily on her third or fourth iteration through the album today so she was starting to learn the melodies of each song. Charlie didn’t notice herself softly humming the chorus to Why Won’t You Love Me in her trance-like state of sleep. She felt the guy next to her shift but she didn’t hear him quietly call out to his friend across the aisle. She was mostly asleep and completely relaxed so she let the music drown out their chatter. “Luke! LUKE!” Michael whisper yelled across the aisle to his friend and bandmate. “What?!” Luke hissed. “Dude. I think she’s listening to us.” Luke raised an eyebrow. Michael continued, “I swear she’s humming Why Don’t You Love Me. Seriously. What if she‘s listening to Meet You There Tour Live? Ash said the label ‘leaked’ the tracks to an exclusive group on Tumblr.” “I highly doubt it,” said Luke shaking his head. “Although that would be dope.” Michael was hopeful. “My vote is yes. I saw her earlier when we were going through security. She was totally jamming to whatever she had playing in her earbuds.” Near the end of the flight, Charlie was still asleep when her phone slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor after bouncing off Michael’s foot. He glanced at her to ensure she was still asleep then grabbed her iPhone off the floor. As he picked it up, he couldn’t help but glance at her screen. The phone’s display lit up, recognizing that it had been moved He held it up towards Luke, grinning, and called out, “Luke! Look!” Luke glanced up and his smile grew wide. Michael was right after all. She was DEFINITELY jamming to MYT Tour Live. Michael was feeling mischievous. He held his pointer finger to lips, shushed Luke, and made a picture taking motion. Luke suppresses a laugh but grinned widely as Michael slid the lock screen over to the camera and flipped to the front facing camera. He carefully framed a selfie of him, Luke, and sleeping Charlie and snapped a picture for her to discover later. He then snapped the same picture with his phone. He also opened up the Notes app and quickly tapped out: Charlie, thanks for being a fan! We hope you enjoy the live album! Xx Michael & Luke 5SOS Then for good measure, he used the feature to insert a drawing and attempted to draw his signature. He used Charlie’s phone to snap a photo of his screen, then locked both phones. He shoved his into his backpack and wedged hers into the seat pocket in front of her. Michael gently nudged Charlie’s knee with his own. When she didn’t stir, he bumped her shoulder and she responded sleepily with a “Hmmmm” sound. “Sorry to wake you,” Michael started. “We’re starting the final descent soon. You dropped your phone so I picked it up for you. I couldn’t help notice you’re listening to 5 Seconds of Summer. I met them once, they’re so nice!” Charlie was half asleep still. “I don’t know anything about them, really. My best friend makes me download random music all the time. Sometimes I wonder why she likes half the stuff she recommends. However, I actually kinda like 5SOS.” Michael started to mess with her. “I heard their guitarist is super cute, dyes his hair all the time, and loves pranking people.” Charlie looked baffled and shrugged. “I have no idea. Never really seen them before.” The conversation lulled and Charlie enjoyed the quiet for several long minutes, the only sound in her world was coming through her ear buds. She closed her eyes and appreciated the lead singers smooth voice, the power behind each drum beat, the rhythmic way the bass thumped, and the fluid strokes over each guitar string.

The plane continued its descent and safely landed at Chicago O’Hare. Charlie was quiet as the plane taxied to the jetbridge. When the doors open and passengers started to deplane, Charlie gathered up her stuff, wished Michael a safe trip since he had a connecting flight, and shuffled towards baggage claim.

Standing in baggage claim, Charlie texted her best friend, Bianca.

Made it safely to Chicago! Got seated next to this cute guy but passed out and didn’t really talk to him.

Bianca fired back an immediate reply:

Glad you made it, but boo. Should have talked to him and gotten his number.

Charlie agreed.

Ikr. He wanted to chat but I was seriously so tired. After takeoff I passed out. Only woke up when Michael (cute seat neighbor) woke me up. He picked up my phone after I dropped it in my sleep.

Charlie opened her camera app then snapped a quick selfie of herself waiting in baggage claim to send to Bianca. In one swift motion she double tapped her iPhone home button to swipe the camera closed and switch back over to her text messages. Locating Bianca’s message, she clicked the add photo button to insert her selfie and squinted at the thumbnail previews of her recent picture. There were two new photos in her camera roll that she didn’t recognize.

Feeling confused, she sent her selfie to Bianca then launched the Photos app and swiped to the first unrecognizable photo.

The conveyor belt in baggage claim started to move and slowly spewed our luggage. Charlie didn’t notice. She was staring at a picture of herself sleeping, sandwiched between Michael and his friend who was squatted next to her in the aisle. Charlie’s fave furrowed in anger and the invasion of privacy. How dare a stranger use her phone to take her sleeping photo.

Charlie swiped to the next screen and looked at the message Michael left her. She gasped and her fingers instinctively dialed Bianca to FaceTime.

She picked up on the second ring and her face appeared on the screen. “Bee, I think I sat by 5SOS on the plane. And I think one of them used my phone to take a picture of me, well us. While I was sleeping!”

“What? How? No way!” Bianca sputtered.

“Seriously! What does Michael look like?” questioned Charlie.

“Let me check Instagram for the latest. Standby.” Bianca froze on the screen while she minimized FaceTime to check Michael’s social media. “At the moment, he’s wearing his fluffy hair blonde.” Her face unfroze on Charlie’s screen. “He’s usually not clean shaven. His eyes are super green and really pretty. His smile is wide. Usually he has a baseball hat on. And a black hoodie. Oh and his accent is lovely, quite posh sounding. I love it to be honest. Could listen to him talk for hours.

Charlie interrupted her, “How about Luke? Is there a Luke?”

Bianca laughed. “Of course there’s a Luke. He and Michael are the founding members of 5SOS although he’s the youngest of the band. He’s super tall, legs for days, like a baby giraffe. But he denies that he’s tall. He wears skinny jeans, pretty tops, leather jackets and heeled leather boots. I bet his boot collection would rival your Pikolinos collection. Gah, but his face. I love his face,” Bianca gushed. “He’s gorgeous. He has super bright blue eyes. And his dimples will swallow you whole. His dark blonde hair is chin length with unruly curls.”

Now Charlie laughed. “Hold on, Bee. I’m texting you something.” She sent the two photos but continued to talk. “Ummm yeah, your descriptions fit the boys perfectly.”

Bianca’s face froze again on Charlie’s screen as she opened her text. “Oh my God, Char. You totally met Michael and Luke! I am so envious! Although if I were you I probably would have fangirled and then drooled on Michael in my sleep!!”

“Hahaha!! I’m sure you would’ve been fine Bee! 100% put together!” Charlie winked at her best friend.

“Charlie! You need to insta this ASAP and tag Michael!”

Bianca gasped. She didn’t notice that her suitcase was the last one and it was going in circles on the baggage claim conveyor belt. “Bee! But what would I even say in the caption???”

“Well, Michael’s always changing his twitter handle and last week he posted a spy meme so how about something spy or detective related?” Bianca questioned.

“Hmmm,” Charlie was thinking. “What’s his insta handle?”

“It’s @michaelclifford.” Bianca knew it off the top of her head.

“How about ‘Thanks for the super stealth nap time reconnaissance spy photos @michaelclifford! It was a really nice meeting you! (even though I didn’t know who you are lol) I really love the new live album!’?” Charlie asked Bianca.

“Do it! I love it!” Bianca encouraged her.

Charlie paused FaceTime again while she posted the picture.

“I promise I’ll text you if my post goes viral,” she laughed. Charlie grabbed her suitcase and the girls said their goodbyes.

Charlie ordered an Uber and got in, heading to her parents house.

Her phone singer indicating a comment on her Instagram post. It was Michael Clifford. Her heart beat quicker for a minute, but her brow furrowed in confusion. He left a cryptic message that Charlie didn’t understand.

pa dhz tf wslhzbyl! p svclk dhajopun fvb qht av tlla fvb aolyl avby spcl ;) kt tl pm fvb lcly dhua hu hbavnyhwolk jvwf vy apjrlaz av zll bz spcl. ee -Caesar

It took Charlie a few days to decipher Michael’s message, but she finally figured out that it was a Caesar Cipher. Thanks for the clue, dude, she thought.

Michael’s message translated to:

It was my pleasure! I loved watching you jam to Meet You There Tour Live ;) DM me if you ever want an autographed copy or tickets to see us live. Xx -Caesar

And with that, Charlie smiled. She knew this was a story she would be repeating for years.

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[missylou22]

Bear with me 😉 it’s going to be a while. But its pretty aMooseing, SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!

While I’m sure most of you dream of your tropical vacations, believe me, I do too… But this year I decided it was time to venture further North. To America’s tophat.

To be honest, My Canadian up there had been whining at me to visit for almost 3 years so it was only fair I let her plan the whole trip and just hand over my credit card. So she planned more than I ever expected, and we found two more blondes to round out the group for the week. I jokingly requested an itinerary, but really didn’t care. I was pretty much flying up there and not making any decisions- just put me in the car and let me be amazed!

I had NO idea what I was in for… sure I knew I was going to the Rocky Mountains…. our hashtags for the trip were #rockyroadgirls2017 and #fourgirlsoneporsche2017 🙂 and I knew we’d be hiking so I made sure to buy some practical cold weather boots… the day before I left… whoops!

I flew WestJet from Charlotte, through Toronto and on to Edmonton. I’ve never actually flown into Canada before. We visited Niagra Falls when I was little, but I don’t remember too much about it, other than purchasing an awesome tiny red backpack with a polar bear holding a Canadian Flag… I wanted to try to find it the last time I was home, but other things were more important.

So I jetted off to Canada and arrived in Edmonton around 10pm Mountain time… meaning midnight EST and Tanya introduced me to her cat Cooper, gave me the quick run-down and put me to bed. The next morning I finally met her husband (after 3 years) and we all drove to the largest Mall in North America, West Edmonton Mall!

Seriously, this place is a one stop shop… you could live here and be perfectly happy! Hotel, Amusement Park, Indoor waterpark, mini golf, pirate ship, sea lion show… For reals. yes, we rode the rollercoaster 🙂

I made sure to outfit myself in some authentic Canadian gear, no, not the cowboy hat… but with some Roots Sweats! And I wore them every night. We wandered around a bit more before deciding another stop in Edmonton was the Fort Edmonton Park – we rode a train!

With our tummys grumbling it was time for a favorite food spot (because of the menu descriptions – “Russian dolls are so full of themselves”) and Canadian delicacies – Caesars and POUTINE! Lucky for us, it was also right downtown, so the perfect snack before an extra bonus concert; Lionel Richie and Mariah Carey!

Mariah was pretty terrible… Lionel was AMAZING.

Another late night, and we crawled into our beds before the real adventure started.

Saturday we picked up another Rocky Road girl and the 3 of us threw our stuff into the Porsche for a 3.5 hour drive to Jasper, AB. While there wasn’t a set itinerary, we did have hotels already in place for each stop along the ride  – so we enjoyed a fattening breakfast with REAL Canadian Bacon (its better), and stopped for whatever sign we thought could be fun along the way. That meant, the Beaver Boardwalk for Adventure #1.

We giggled the whole way around the boardwalk, and came to the conclusion that we should probably stock up on the essential alcohol before getting into Jasper where prices would most definitely be inflated. Getting into Jasper we stopped along the way for all the photo opportunities.

I’ll be honest with you, this “hotel” was my absolute favorite acommodation this whole trip. We got a whole cabin to ourselves!!!

Adorable 🙂

We basically dropped our stuff and went off to continue the Jasper Adventure! Up to the Sky Tram! Yes, a giant enclosed ski lift to the top of Whistlers Mountain, well…. almost the top, I was coherced to hike up as far as we could. What a trek that was, I have not trained enough for this kind of physical exertion!

We got our first real glimpse of Canadian wildlife – a mama black bear and her 2 cubs which definitely earned us our Beers and Canadian beef.

Because we started drinking at dinner, we just continued a little to heavily throughout the evening. It was probably not the brightest idea as we had to be up early for a quick drive up to a GLACIER the next morning!!

I got to also finally experience another Canadian tradition…. Tim Horton’s! Breakfast & coffee, with a minor Gatorade mishap and we were off to experience a real life Glacier at Columbia Icefield Glacier Adventure! Yes, it was cold. No, I did not care. Due to the wildfires happening up north, the views had been a little hazy but lucky for us it had rained the night before and we had the clearest day in weeks! I even tried the glacier water, but weirdly enough it tasted smoky!

But the Adventure doesn’t end there!! The other half took us to a skywalk off the side of one of the cliffs! I still can’t seem to find a fear of heights, so I sauntered right out onto the clear glass.

Super fun experience, we helped K out onto the walk (serious fear of heights) and all got our fabulous photos. By now I’m sure you’re following that we’re not a 1 or 2 Adventures a day type of crowd, so our drive back to Jasper took us to Athabasca Falls (in the only rain that came down during the day) .

Since we skipped lunchtime (again), we took a little jaunt through downtown Jasper for Greek & Pizza (the restaurant was a hodgepodge of everything). Once we were re-nourished we hiked around Pyramid Lake, visited the Jasper Park Lodge, and saw a few of the bridges on our 3rd hike of the day at Maligne Canyon (Jasper National Park).

A more leisurely morning followed with cold pizza for breakfast and took us back through the glaicers (for a pee break) and a few roadside photo opps before we hit Banff and picked up another Blonde!!

Banff!

And there we were… #fourgirlsoneporsche2017 ! Finally! Although I was the only Brunette, and American, I held my own 🙂 More hiking around Bow Falls and up about a million stairs to Waldhaus for, well, we weren’t really sure what – but you can’t ever go wrong with a Pub!

All this hiking, I again earned my beers. We joked to Jojo about not wanting whipped cream on her coffee and they brought us a side cup of whip. They’re pretty serious about their whipped cream! We wouldn’t let it go after that, and yes, we all shared the whip. I also had a giant skillet of poutine which really needed to be shared.

Could we stop there with my blisters screaming at me through my converse? noooooo, we shopped around downtown Banff, I got my fix of Canadian lawn mowers (spoiler alert, its Elk) had to go see the Fairmont Banff Springs who apparently houses these mystical mineral pools that we would most definitely come back to when the pricing was only $35 instead of $70 🙂 It was gorgeously refreshing.

We had to drop K off at the airport in Calgary  the next day (work always gets in the way) which left T, Jo and I to continue on to Drumheller! or…. DINOLAND!!

I was so excited to be here!! ALL THE DINOSAUR THINGS! The Largest dinosaur in North America and yes, our third stop (after the sign & t-rex) was the Royal Tyrrell Museum to get our learn on 🙂

Crazy thing about that photo of the T-rex hip… it’s TOO HEAVY TO ACTUALLY USE IN THE SKELETON. The one they actually use is a cast! I will never again make excuses for my hips. I’M A FREAKING T-REX. 🙂

Wouldn’t you know it, THIS PLACE has a hike attached to it too!! By this point I had stolen K’s flip flops before she hopped on her plane home. My feet thank her.

The hike was short, not too much to see – just incredible to think dinosaurs actually roamed around here millions of years ago! On our way back to the hotel we stopped at the neighborhood saloon. It was sufficently awkward. We needed slurpees after to feel normal again. And I made T and Jo stop and take photos of me with Batman Dinosaur.

I was also introduced to a new super entree (and they say American’s have terrible obesity feeding foods)… my dinner was a cheeseburger wrapped in a pepperoni PIZZA.

That ensured an early bedtime for us all, after testing out the waterslide and hot tub at our hotel.

Our last full day was a day of randoms. We drove by a sign for a suspension bridge, so we walked across it.

Adventure two was the Hoodoos, where we hiked more (surprise) and I learned what an Inukshuk is! So we left our own.

And then we got our heart rate up by hiking down into Horseshoe Canyon. I did have to flip off the shoes at one point, I was slipping straight out of them anyway so it was just easier to walk in the dirt barefoot. We searched for fossils down there too but came away empty handed.

I lost track of the days during this Vacation, which is hard for me to do. A full reset for my brain. I didn’t even check my email!! Our day wrapped up with the search for flip flops to wear home and pedicures to round it out before we said farewell to Jojo. My blister is happy for backless shoes. Although I did pop it before I got on the plane. It squirted across the bathtub. Grossly satisfying.

My flight back from Calgary to Toronto to Charlotte left before lunch and I was able to pack my Canadian purchases into my suitcase and still come in underweight! T drove the 3ish hours back home to Edmonton and I was happily eating dinner on my couch by 11pm. I had Friday to answer all those emails before I jump another plane to Jamaica.

The Journey never ends!

  Canada, eh? Bear with me 😉 it's going to be a while. But its pretty aMooseing, SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!