#but then i had set a 7:30 alarm every day while there but every day i woke up before it went off

[gobbluthbutagirl]

i’ve had a headache since i left the airport yesterday and i thought maybe it would go away while i was asleep but it did not. hoping it will go away when i drink some coffee because if not i guess i’ll just have to live like this until i die

[moralesmilesanhour]

if you believe in me - 01

summary: You and Miles decide to make it official. Kind of. wc: 763 warnings: none a/n: I love setting my characters up for failure <3

next

Miles hadn't texted you at all since the kiss, but not for lack of trying.

He would begin to type out a message:

"hi".

No, too empty. Perhaps a bit creepy. 

Backspace.

"hey :)"

Would you expect him to use smiley faces? No, it felt too different to how he spoke in real life. Backspace.

Maybe he should rip a page out of his classmates' playbook. It always seemed to work for them when he peered over at their screens.

"wyd?"

He frowned at his phone in bewilderment. Why would he ask that all of a sudden with no context? 

Backspace. 

"Hey, Y/N! Just checking in to see how you're doing."

Miles mentally cursed himself when he realized how much the text sounded like an email.

He flopped down onto his bed in defeat, and checked his digital alarm clock. 7:30 pm. He had been sitting there for an entire half hour and could hardly get a greeting out, probably leaving you to wonder why the boy who had literally kissed you last week couldn’t be bothered to send a text. 

Miles knew that today would be special when his phone alarm actually woke him up - and from a dreamless sleep, at that. Normally the sun would practically blind him after the curtains were thrown open by his mother, yelling frantically about how he was going to be late in half an hour. The sky was miraculously just turning a periwinkle blue outside, and the possibility of actually getting breakfast seemed within reach for once.

Miles squinted to read the menu above him. Ordering a spicy beef patty before 8 in the morning sounded like a poor dietary decision, so he went with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich like everyone else. As soon as he backed up from the counter, he made the mistake of glancing to his right at the fridge containing drinks on the other side of the bodega, and his stomach dropped.

Your jacket was instantly recognizable, even from a mile away.

Miles threw on his hoodie and shuffled over to the aisle behind him, where he pretended to be preoccupied with a container of instant coffee while trying to keep his face covered. When he saw movement in his periphery, he ducked his head and inched his way towards the freezer that contained his prized can of Arizona tea. He was about to reach for the handle, just inches away from success, when your voice stopped him:

“Morales?!? Where the hell have you been?”

Fuck.

“Hey,” Miles gave you a tight smile as he turned slowly to face you. “How…how are you?”

“I’m good,” you nodded, before lightly smacking him in the arm. “Haven’t heard from you in a minute, though. Why I ain’t catch you in class?”

The boy shrugged. “I dunno. Still in the same seat every day. Maybe you just missed me.”

As he said this, Miles recalled seeing you in the cafeteria while making his way upstairs  the other day and ducking behind a trash can before your eyes could meet. You having gone back to your regular seat in AP Calc made avoidance even easier; he could simply time when he went over to his seat, a small crowd of students providing ample cover.

“Chopped cheese!” a man called out from the front, interrupting his thoughts.

“That’s me,” you said with a grin. 

“”Bacon egg and cheese!”

“And that’s me,” Miles replied as he spun around to retrieve his order, making sure to leave room for you to pass behind him after grabbing your sandwich.

Once outside, he realized that you were staring at him. Not just in passing, but expectantly. Was he meant to do something?

“What?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“You like me, right?”

“I-um…yeah,” Miles’ eyes darted away from your face. “I don’t think I’d kiss anybody I didn’t like.”

“Don’t get smart with me, you didn’t text me at all afterwards. I was starting to get the wrong impression!”

He snorted, “Well, now you’ve got the right one.”

“Sooo…” you tilted your head. “Does that mean we’re like, a thing now?”

He tensed at the suggestion. ‘A thing’. You’d think it was obvious what that meant, but what did it really mean in tenth grade? Sit at home and kiss a lot? 

But your smile began to falter the longer he took, and the sight stung him.

“I guess we are,” Miles finally replied. He looked down. “What are you doing?”

“Holding your hand, duh!”

He let you intertwine your fingers with his, tentatively squeezing them in return.

[nihyunluvskookie]

Meri Chaand 🌙

SYNOPSIS. This was their first karwachauth after their arranged marriage

PAIRING. husband!choi seungcheol x female reader

GENRE. fluff, established relationship

WARNINGS. Mention of fasting, a kiss, terms of endearment

WORD COUNT. 3.2K

AUTHOR’S NOTE. Can’t believe I am back with this, this was in my drafts for toooo long and finally posting this, well while proofreading I almost couldn’t believe that it was me who wrote this and Seungcheol after all. But here it is, hope you all like this Happy reading :)

TAG. @thepoopdokyeomtouched @aestheticfangirl

I woke up as soon as I heard my alarm, I felt Seungcheol stir in his sleep. I didn’t want to wake him up, I wanted to be as quiet as possible. Somewhere I didn’t want to tell him about any of this, because I didn’t know if he believed this tradition or not.

I woke up quietly and walked towards the walk-in closet, and after choosing my clothes I went to take a shower. I relaxed as soon the warm water hit my body, all the memories, flood in from yesterday. “Do you have work tomorrow?” I nodded, “but it’s work from home. I have to attend a few meetings that’s it”

“Oh, I thought you had an off day” I looked at him, I wanted him to say because it felt like I was forgetting something but then I wanted to hear it from him. “It’s karwachauth tomorrow so I thought…” he trailed off, and then it clicked in my mind, maa told me about this today morning before I left for work and even told me about the sargi. I don’t even know if he believes this or not. “Oh, no we don’t have off because of karwachauth” he nodded. “All good then and you can tell maa if- his words were cut off because of a call he received. I was getting sleepy either way, I didn’t wait for him when he walked out of the room to talk.

I don’t believe in all these traditions and saw my mom doing everything every year, till last year but there was something inside me, where I wanted to keep the fast.

I got ready and went downstairs, I saw maa already setting the sargi, “Nishita?” I smiled at her, I took her blessings but she held my shoulders and hugged me. “Are you sure?” I nodded, “Here’s your sargi,” She asked me yesterday about the fast and I agreed.

“Eat this before the sunrise.” I nodded. I was about to go towards the room but then the thought of Seungcheol getting disturbed and then asking me so many things, hit me so I didn’t go to my room. “Can I eat it here in the living room?”

“You don’t want to go back to your room?” I shook my head, “Seungcheol is sleeping and I don’t want to disturb him. He came late and then I don’t know when he came to sleep after he received a call at 11:30 pm yesterday.” She held my cheeks and smiled, “You care for him so much Nishita” I smiled at her. “Everyone deserves some rest and I have work from home today so it’s fine for me, but he should get enough rest” She kissed my forehead, “He is lucky” I smiled.

I ate my sargi and once I was done, I went to keep the plates in the sink. Despite our arranged marriage, I always wondered how would things turn out after marriage, he gave me the personal space whenever I needed, and he never forced me into anything, things were changing, it’s been nine months after our marriage already, and for me, things were slowly changing. The care he showed even without asking me was something that always got me. And the least I could do for him was to fulfil the traditions I should do as his wife.

I looked outside and it was already sunrise, and I looked at the clock, it read 6:33 am

I went back to my room, well aware of Seungcheol’s alarm of 7:00 am. He usually works out in the morning for like one hour, so it’s his time to get up. I went to take out my laptop, to check everything for the meeting I had to attend. I was holding my Mac and walked towards the bed, and I was surprised to see Seungcheol awake, “Nishi?”

“Seungcheol?”

“You’re already awake?” I nodded at his words. His eyes went to the laptop I was holding, “do you have a meeting now?”

“No, but I need to check a few things before the meeting because I would be talking to the client mainly.” Another reason was to distract myself today and I wanted to ask him why was he awake, since it wasn’t even 7 am yet. He looked lost, and we were just looking at each other, more like staring at each other.

“Subah ho gai?” I nodded

“Umm, good morning” I looked at him and replied, “Good morning” We didn’t do this usually, what’s gotten into him?

“I will go get ready.” I nodded and kept my Mac on the night table. Once he went towards the closet, I fixed the bedsheets and went to sit on the bed with my Mac.

I saw him walking back with his sweatshirt on, I looked at him, “I am going for workout” I nodded at him. I was checking files, then it hit me. It was already 7 am and I had to make breakfast.

I closed my Mac and went downstairs, I saw maa already inside the kitchen, “You’re here?” she looked at me, “Yes, how could I not help you in making breakfast?”

“But you don’t have to do a lot of work today because in the evening we have to do the preparations. So don’t stress too much and you’ve two meetings today.”

“It’s fine maa, and making breakfast is a daily thing, why an exception today?” she looked at me and smiled, “You’re just so beautiful”

“what were you planning to make today?” I asked her, and I went to wash my hands, “something Seungcheol likes” I turned my head to her, “something he likes?” she nodded, “do you want to cook something else?” I shook my head, “he likes Sabudana Khichdi aur Rawa Uttapam” She smiled at me, “Let’s make both and Sangyeon wanted to eat Sabudana ki kichadi yesterday, so I soaked Sabudana overnight, already” I saw, the bowl and went to drain it, “you can cut the vegetables for uttapam, I will do this.” She nodded and once drained, I dry-roasted peanuts, I personally didn’t like peanuts but he did.

Once done, I started making it carefully, and to my surprise, today it turned out nicely; I looked over maa, and noticed she was almost done with the chopping and preparations for rava uttapam. “Maa, let me do this”

“You already made Sabudana” I looked at her, “it’s fine. You can go and check up on others, I can do this. I don’t have any work right now as well” She gave up after I insisted, for some unknown reason I wanted to make breakfast today maybe because I was very relaxed and had no work or I was just bored.

It didn’t take a lot of time to cook for everyone, I was almost done and then I heard maa “Go and call Seungcheol, it’s breakfast time” I kept everything and nodded at her. “I will set the table for everyone.”

I went to our room and I saw Seungcheol buttoning his white shirt, I shook my head and sighed. Doesn’t matter how many times I told him not to walk like this, infront of him but he is like ‘It’s my house, I can walk however I want, I can be naked anytime I want’

His strong scent filled the whole room, I walked towards him, “Breakfast’s ready, maa is calling” Once he was done with his shirt, he took out the tie. He looked at me, “help me?” I sighed and took the tie. Despite his height I managed to help him with his tie, unknowingly today I noticed, we were standing way too close, his breaths were hitting my collarbone which was making it difficult for me to focus on his tie.

“And you’re done” I took a step back and almost stumbled back, but he was quick to hold my waist and pull me closer, “Be careful Nishi” his voice was deeper than usual, the moment he let go of my waist, I let out the breath I was holding.

“Let’s go for breakfast, it’s almost time.”

“I have to leave, I have a meeting” I turned to look at him, “meeting?”

“Yes, I was supposed to tell you yesterday but when I came back to room, you were asleep.”

“But I made your favorite...sabudana” I almost whispered the last word.

“I’m sorry, I’ve to leave” He went out of the room and I followed him, almost disappointed but then I understand, him being the CEO and doing everything. I knew he had work but skipping breakfast? It’s something he never did and rather always tells everyone else that they shouldn’t skip their breakfast.

“Seungcheol” both of us turned to look at maa, “aa jao khane, Nishita ne pyaar se banaya hai aaj”

“Aaj nehi maa, meeting hai.”

“Lekin, Nishi ne bahut pyaar se banaya hai”

“Maa, it’s okay.” He turned to look at me, he had apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry” I shook my head and gave him a tight smile, “it’s okay, I get it.” Whereas this was the first time he was skipping breakfast.

He went out in a hurry and I looked at Sangyeon and papa, enjoying breakfast. Sangyeon was almost taken aback when maa informed that I was fasting today.

*****

After I was done with the meetings, I looked at the time, it was already evening. I was getting sleepy and tired, I heard a knock on the door. “Are you done for the day?” I looked at maa, walking towards the bed where I was sitting. I nodded, “all done”

“Good, everything’s almost done, I wanted to inform you that, there’s a ritual which is followed in our house, which is you have to wear your wedding saree today.” I nodded, “okay I will get ready”

“Once you’re ready come downstairs.” I nodded.

I looked at the time, it was already 6 pm which meant Seungcheol should have come by now. I shrugged off the thoughts and went towards the walk-in closet, to check my wedding saree.

After searching a bit, I found my saree. I took everything out and went to change. After changing into the saree and fixing everything perfectly, I looked in the mirror and started getting ready. I wore my kajal and eyeliner. I applied liptint and once I was done with my hair, I looked at myself and smiled. I picked up my earrings and wore it. Somewhere my mind was stuck with Seungcheol, why was he late? Would he make it today when the moon will come out? Did he believe in this?

I was skeptical about everything, and him leaving early today, and missing breakfast was something I never thought I would witness. I knew the meaning of the fast, it was for his wellbeing, and it didn’t matter if he believed it or not but I was unsure myself…now

I tried to smile looking at the mirror.

I was ready, so I went downstairs and there I saw the way everything was kept and decorated; “Nishita, come here” I went to sit beside maa, we had to decorate the kalash and other things, once everything was done and kept in the thali, we had to go to the terrace

The moment I stepped on the terrace, I was getting anxious, because there was no sign of him yet.

**********

SEUNGCHEOL

I looked at the time, didn’t matter how much I wanted to have coffee, I resisted eating or drinking anything today.

I don’t know if Nishi believed in all these traditions but I wanted to keep the fast for her; I didn’t believe in these until she came to my life. There was something about her which always told me to believe everything, let it be god, fate or destiny.

I felt at my worst when I told her I wouldn’t be having my breakfast, knowing she made my favourite and the disappointment on her face was visible. The whole day she was stuck in my mind, I knew how much karwachauth meant for my mother, I always admired her for all these; not knowing I would be doing this one day for my own wife.

woh vrat nehi rakhegi toh mai rakhlunga, that’s what I told myself.

Once I was done with all the meetings and everything, I walked down to the basement to drive back home. I looked at the time, hoping I wasn’t very late.

The moment I reached home, I saw no one downstairs, were they on the terrace already? I came across Sangyeon who was already wearing a kurta, “where’s Nishi?”

“Bhabi?” he looked at me, “She’s with maa on the terrace. You should go and wait for the moon, it’s almost late bhai, what were you even doing this late” he walked past me.

I went to our room and saw, my kurta set on the bed, “did Nishi take these out for me?” I was about to call her but I remembered she wasn’t here, she was with maa.

I changed my clothes and got ready. I went to the walk-in closet and took out the payal I brought for Nishi, more or less this was our first karwachauth and how could I let it go like this?

I kept them inside my pocket and went upstairs.

The moment I reached the rooftop, I almost stopped my steps when I saw her turning around to look at me, she was wearing the saree that she wore at our wedding, I could never forget the look on her face.

Right now, she looked so pretty, with her half-braided hair, pretty earrings, pretty eyeliner, her golden chain, and her mangalsutra. The way she looked right now, I was ready to keep all the fasts for her, so that she could shine brightly like the moon in my dark days, I wanted to give her all the happiness she deserved, she didn’t deserve to shed a single tear in her life. And I was here to make sure she received all the happiness.

 I walked towards her, almost in surprise; she was holding the thali which had everything.

Once I was standing infront of her, she gave me a tight smile, “I almost thought you would be very late”

“And here I thought you didn’t believe in any of these?”

“I didn’t believe in these but felt like you believed in this and I had faith in you” She almost whispered those three words which were enough for me to hear. “Chand dikh gaya” she hurriedly, put her pallu over her head, she looked so beautiful, just the way she looked that night, when we were getting married. Nothing could compare to how beautiful she looked.

She lit up the diya, then kept the diya on the sieve then while looking at the moon through the sieve she poured the water from the kalash. I watched her do everything and somewhere my heart wanted to capture the moment forever, the adoration and dedication in her eyes told me something else. She kept the empty kalash on the other side and then turned to look at me through the sieve. I was looking at her through the sieve, and I was lost in her eyes.

Her eyes always pulled me closer to her, there was always something in her that pulled me closer and made me fall in love with her, they say marriages always happen if there’s love but then how would anyone explain this? I fell for her the moment I saw her in saree at our wedding. The way she looked at me told me, already that I fell for her. The admiration on her face was nothing compared to billions of diamonds. She was the most precious diamond I ever had.

She gave me a smile through the sieve and she was about to keep the sieve on the other side but before she could do that, I held the sieve and looked at her, she was taken aback.

“Seungcheol?” I smiled at her

“I found my moon.” She was surprised, I could say she never thought I would do this.

“fast rakhe ho?” I didn’t reply to her and I heard my mother, “Tu manta bhi nehi tha yeh sab, aur aaj kya hua?”

“Chand mili hai mujhe apni, toh itna karna toh banta hai na agar isko hamesha apne paas rakhna hai aur aise hi chamakta hua dekhna hai toh? Meri chaand itna toh deserve karti hi hai maa” She looked lost. I couldn’t tell if she was surprised, or was overwhelmed, or taken aback.

Once done, I took out the diya from the sieve and kept it on the thali, and the sieve on the table. After that, she did the arti, and I was smiling throughout the time, she looked so beautiful even with the light of the flame. I took the kalash from the thali and I helped her drink the water and broke her fast.

“Ab meri baari jaan” that last word just slipped out of my mouth unknowingly and I was almost flustered, but nothing compared to how flustered she looked.

“Seungcheol?”

 “Vrat Rakha hai, paani pilaogi tabhi tutega” she smiled at me and helped me drink the water.

She held the thali and fixed the pallu, and before she could bend down and touch my feet, I bent down and touched her feet. She was taken aback, well I have seen my mother do this to my father but here I wanted Nishi to give another place in my life.

I took the gulab jamun from the thali and gave her a bite, she took it from me and gave me a bite.

“Now one more thing, you deserve” She looked at me confused, “Ab kya baaki hai?”

“Fast bhi rakh liya mere liye, aur kya chahiye mujhe?” I bend down and patted my thighs, “Kya?”

I took out the box and showed her the payal, “Aaj hamara pehela karwachauth hai, toh yeh meri taraf se, ek chota sa taufa” she extended her leg and kept the feet on my thigh, I didn’t care if everyone in our family saw us, this was supposed to be our moment but couldn’t help if this because the public display of affection.

Once I put the payal around both her feet, I kissed her feet lightly. I got up, “thankyou so much” The urge to kiss her was getting high.

My hands cupped her cheeks, “pata hai kitni pyaari lag rahi ho aaj” she smiled at me.

She smiled at me and stole my heart again.

“Aise smile na kiya karo, jaan leni hai kya meri?” this was the first time I was this open with myself and my feelings, my feelings were taking over me.

“Maine kuch bhi- before she could complete her sentence, I kissed her.

I closed my eyes, and pulled her closer. Her lips tasted sweet because of gulab jamun, but I didn’t mind, I liked the taste of the kiss and her lips. I pulled back lightly and looked at her, before she could say anything, I kissed her again, “I love you” I said in between our kiss, “this is probably the first time I confessed and I mean it”

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

sneaking around

Summary: You're the nanny. Dave York is your married boss and if he couldn't fuck you, he'd find something to fuck you with.

Pairing: Dave York x fem. reader

Rating: E

Wordcount:

Warnings: infidelity, smut (oral f receiving, penetrative sex) Food play (no cucumbers were harmed in the writing of this fic), dirty talk, sneaking around

A/N: Look, this is unhinged but I've been thinking about for a week so you're welcome I guess.

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics an turn on notifications to get notified for new fic updates

The sun wasn’t even up as you stepped into the kitchen. The coffee was already brewing, thanks to Dave’s strict morning routine of waking up at 4:30 am. He woke up, went for a run, started the coffee machine and then made his way back upstairs to shower and get ready for the day, all while his wife still slept, unbothered by her hardworking husband. 

Of course this morning routine left time for a quickie here or there too.

You opened the dishwasher, starting to unload it when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. 

Looking up when you heard him enter the kitchen you gave him a small smile, before you continued with your work. 

Two years ago you had started as a babysitter for both York kids until Dave offered you a job as a live in nanny about six months ago when you lost your former job and place to live after your boyfriend broke up with you. 

Things…. Escalated quickly once Dave had you under his roof 24/7.

You felt his eyes on you as you finished unloading the dishwasher. A glance at the clock over the stove told you that it would be around fifteen minutes until Carol’s alarm went off and you had to get the girls ready for school. 

Turning around you found Dave leaning against the counter, a mug of coffee in his hand which he held out to you. You took it with a quiet thanks, taking a sip, your eyes wandering over his broad form. 

He was fully dressed save for his suit jacket and shoes. Wearing dark blue slacks, his bright blue dress shirt tucked into his pants. No tie. You felt yourself shudder seeing him wearing the belt he had used the night before to restrain your arms behind your back as he fucked you from behind in the en suite bathroom while his wife was sleeping peacefully in their shared bed. 

She (and you) didn’t know she only slept so soundly because Dave slipped a sleeping pill into her wine every evening. 

And you knew you should be ashamed for yourself, sleeping with your boss. A married man and father of two. But it seemed like every moment he touched you left your brain loosing the capability to think of any consequences. 

Your eyes did not leave his as you drank the coffee, handing him the mug back. He set it down on the counter next to him, tilting his head to the side. 

His eyes glanced on the clock beside you, before he approached you, making you take a step back his lips crashing down on yours as he helped you sit up on the counter behind you. You released a shaky breath, your arms coming to wrap behind his neck, your legs parting for him to make space for him. His tongue slipped into your mouth and he groaned, his hands running down your back, his hands squeezing your ass. 

You were already dressed for the day. A dark red sweater dress ending just above your knees, no underwear as always like he asked of you. You wrapped your legs around his back and he parted from your lips with a tsk. 

„Already dressed for the day. Can’t make a mess of these pants,“ he hummed, taking a step back. 

You whined like a child, having looked forward to a quickie to start this day right.

His hands let go of you and he brought his arms back, slowly pushing the sleeves of his dress shirt up, revealing his tanned arms.

„You’ve been such a good girl for me last night. I think you deserve a little treat,“ he smirked, before he went down on his knees, his hands pushing your thighs further apart and your dress up, his mouth diving in, almost attacking your drenched pussy. 

„Oh fuck,“ you whimpered quietly, your hands flat on the counter behind you as you arched your back. You closed your eyes, your lips parted, breathing deeply as Dave’s tongue drank from you like you were the sweetest nectar. 

„Dave… please…“ you begged, his lips closing around your clit beginning to suck. 

You were panting, dying to let your fingers run through his hair, but you knew the rules. And even though you were dying to break them, generally enjoying the punishment that would follow at some point you were so fucking close to coming you just wanted to be his good girl and…

You gasped in disappointment when his lips pulled away just as you were on the brink of your orgasm. You could still feel it in your veins as it slowly started ebbing away and you opened your eyes finding Dave now standing between your legs, his mouth wet with your slickness as he looked down at you. 

„What… I was so close,“ you whined and he pursed his lips. Amused.  

„Gonna fuck you,“ he mumbled and you peaked up, sitting yourself up, your hands coming down to unbuckle his belt. 

„What do you think you’re doing?“ He asked and you frowned. 

„You said you’d fuck me?“ You said. Confused. 

„Oh baby. Not with my cock…“ he said, turning away from you to grab something and your eyes widened when you found him holding a cucumber. It was at least 12 inches and you gulped.

You were just horny enough to not question him when he let it slip between your slit, rubbing it over your clit. 

You didn’t know he had the idea for a while. The kids were allergic to cucumber so Carol was the only one who’d buy and eat them. 

He looked up at you, finding your eyes watching him before you gave him a small nod and his eyes dropped down, watching as he slowly pushed the cucumber (which of course he had washed the night before, having planned this for this morning) into your dripping pussy. 

Fuck, he wished he had his phone on him, wanting to film it so he could rewatch it. 

You both were watching as he slowly began to fuck you with the cucumber. It felt different, cold, but fuck you were just horny enough to not care. 

„Look at you, my little slut. Letting me fuck you with a cucumber. Such a filthy girl,“ he praised you, his voice low, fucking you a little faster. 

You were now looking at him as he watched what he was doing to you, his eyes focused, his whole face tense. His lips were parted as he watched himself fuck you with the vegetable. 

He brought his other hand between your legs, his fingers beginning to circle your clit. You moaned quietly when you heard the alarm upstairs, knowing it was the one of his wife and that it was only minutes until she’d be down here to get herself some coffee. 

„Cum for me before my fucking wife finds me fucking the nanny with a cucumber,“ he snarled and you exploded, biting your lip to keep quiet as your orgasm hummed through your body. 

„Such a good girl for me,“ Dave praised you, dropping his lips against yours before he slowly pulled the cucumber out. Amused he looked at it, slick with your cum, bringing it up to his lips, licking off a long strip, humming in satisfaction. You were still trying to normalise your breathing when you heard the alarm upstairs being turned off. He turned away from you, dropping the cucumber in the sink, returning with a paper cloth to clean you up before he helped you down, kissing you softly. 

„Go on and get the girls ready. I’ll make breakfast,“ he whispered and you gave him a shy smile before you turned away from him and walked upstairs. 

And thirty minutes later as the family sat at the breakfast table and you were finishing the lunch boxes for the girls, you caught Dave’s eyes, his lip between his teeth before you both watched his wife cut down the cucumber for her breakfast he head fucked you with not even an hour ago. 

[angelagiarratana]

Comfort Call

After a joke hits too hard Angela steps out to call you <3

It was no secret to anyone at SMOSH or in her life that Angela's love language is bullying. She loves comedy and jokes more than anything in life. So people knowing her well enough to know how to bully her, makes her feel seen and heard. Until today, her emotions were already heightened. Since her alarm went off that morning she felt stressed. Then her water wasn't working because her neighbor fucked up a pipe, so she couldn't shower. After fighting her hair to do something, she dropped her mascara wand onto her white t-shirt. A long, deep breath seemed to get her to work that day.

You two usually had breakfast together due to living on the same block, but you had to go to work early that day. Angela felt weird for a few days so she decided to sleep in. She knew that if she had chosen to see you, she would feel better and probably have a shower. Putting the car in park at the studio after traffic, she realized she left her coffee and lunch at home. Today sucked.

During the first two shoots, she kept fucking up the rules of games and lost both. She felt incredibly defeated today. She knew your lunch had already passed so she couldn't step out to call you. "Angela, I'm running to the gas station, do you wanna come?" Chanse held out his wallet signaling he was leaving. She decided it couldn't hurt to get out into the sun for a bit. Walking with Chanse helped her calm down a bit, until she dropped her pizza on the sidewalk, "Fuck my life bro!" Chanse could tell it was a day so he ran back and bought her another slice while she did the last shoot.

Filming a 'Let's Do This' with Courtney, Ian, and Damien seemed like a good last shoot for the day. Angela assumed wrong. For some reason, she felt incredibly stressed once they started rolling. Her legs started bouncing and her stress soon turned into anxiety. During Damiens presentation he made a joke that just rubbed her the wrong way today. "Well fuck me I guess!" Courtney turned and grabbed her arm sensing her emotions. Courtney mouthed to her, "Take a deep breath." Courtney knew Angela would get in her head sometimes and forget to breathe. "Cut! Let's take 5 while we reset!" Angela stood up and grabbed her phone off the cart, speed walking to the parking lot.

The sun was beaming on her back as she quickly dialed your number.

Ring, ring

"Hi AG." Your voice sounded like honey to her right now. Hearing it immediately set off the waterworks. "Hey, talk to me." You reassured her over the phone. She took a deep breath, "It's just been a bad day and Damien made a joke that just stung for no reason today. I just needed to hear your voice." Your heart broke into a million pieces. "I'm really sorry my love. Do you want to keep talking about it, talk about something else, or just listen to me talk?" Angela smiled because you knew exactly which 3 things would work, "I wanna listen to you talk." You could hear the smile in her voice, "Uh, let's see. Oh!" You chuckled, "I accidentally told my boss 'your mom' today and Kate, my coworker, said 'That is such an Angela thing to say'. You laughed again, and Angela's smile grew. "So my boss called me into his office to ask about the production schedule for a film we're starting production for soon. So I sat down and started telling him about how I need to hear back from a couple more people and he said 'who?' and my immediate answer dude," you laughed loudly, "was to say your mom!" Angela laughed with you this time. "You are amazing." You blushed at her words, "For my stupid jokes?" Angela laid her head against the wall, "Yes."

Courtney stuck her head out of the door, "Hey we've got a minute till rolling." Angela smiled at her, "Hey y/n I need to go back in, thank you." You spun around in your chair, "Of course AG, do you wanna come over later?" Angela got butterflies every time you invited her places, "I would love that, I'll see you at 7:30?" You looked at the clock, you were gonna finish that schedule before 7 if it killed you, "That works, go be your funny self." You gave her a kiss through the phone and hung up.

Angela walked onto set feeling refreshed and so much better.

[bobby-r2d2-floyd]

the nanny part 3 | hangman x reader (saturn)

note: finally a longer one? ish? it took a minute to write because i had a headache every day for the last week and then i had a take home organic chemistry exam that i needed to get done (gotta maintain that 4.0, school is important kids!)

warnings: swearing, very light angst, jake is pinning, saturn is in a relationship. lowkey jake is a simp.

i don't think that this is a warning but i've not explicitly said this either, but any female character i write is bisexual. of that isn't your cup of tea, i'm sorry.

word count: 2.6k

not beta'd we die like men.

inspired by: @roosterforme

previous | next

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Jake was a mess. 

For no reason, honestly. He had typed out, deleted, retyped, deleted again, and then said said fuck it and opened up his notes app to try and type a message out to you about this weekend. All this weekend is, really, is a friendly chat between a dad looking for someone to help him out with his infant daughter that he didn’t know existed a month ago, and Penny Benjamin’s solid 10 niece that gave him a half mast when she was holding his daughter, for no reason. 

And when you called him Dad-man? His heart stopped. He thought about it all night. 

By the time Friday night had rolled around he still hadn’t texted you in regards to going out tomorrow, so when he got a text message from you, he was a little confused, he hadn’t given you his number… had he?

Hey dad-man! Rooster gave me your number since I hadn’t heard from you all week. Are we still on for tomorrow? I know that Avery is a little young but the San Diego Zoo is doing a little arts and crafts thing with the animals tomorrow we could check out? My treat? you had sent along with a link to the event and he smiles as he types out his message to you.

Hey! You know I honestly had like, 30 different messages typed out to send you but they were all ass ideas compared to yours. I’m sure Avery would love it even if she doesn’t understand what’s going on, lol maybe we could grab coffee or something from a cafe afterwards?

It’s a date, dad-man ;) you send back after a few minutes, which is quickly followed by: pick me up at 9? 

It’s a date, darlin he sends and then groans into his hands “darlin? Seriously? She’s going to nanny your fucking get, get a grip Seresin.” he sets an alarm for 7 am, not like he needs it though. Avery is awake and hungry by 6:45 then out for a nap by 8:30. 

He’s asleep just after 2 and at 6:45 on the dot he can hear Avery stirring through the baby monitor on his nightstand. He’s quick to stand up before her wails get any louder, changes her from any accident she could have had in her sleep and then heads downstairs to make her a bottle. While he’s feeding her, he has coffee brewing for himself so he isn’t a complete zombie when he sees you in a few hours. He gets Avery dressed and her diaper bag packed before he’s setting her in her bouncer in the bathroom so he can take a quick shower without leaving her unsupervised -- she has the time of her life listening to him sing. 

It’s 8:45 by the time he’s finally leaving. Avery forgoing her morning nap and choosing to fight him instead when he was trying to get her dressed, and then puking on his one clean shirt that he had that wasn’t his service khakis or a graphic t-shirt set him behind his schedule. He quickly found a shirt that he turned into a tank top, groaning at how he looked like a gym douchebag 

You were waiting on the steps of Penny’s house for him nearly 15 minutes past 9 for him, and boy were you a sight to see. He definitely regretted his choice of a dingey old Navy shirt but that was his own fault for putting off his laundry and choosing to favor doing Avery’s instead. You were wearing jean shorts you obviously cut yourself, sinfully short but also modest at the same time. The shorts were paired with a pair of tennis shoes and a plain white tank top and a… fanny pack?

You hopped into his truck with a “you’re late” but he just laughs and points to the fanny pack.

“The 90s called, they want their stuff back.” 

“Hey, don’t shit on the 90s. Plus fanny packs are back in. It’s so much more convenient than carrying a purse or other bag around, they’re less likely to be stolen, and both my hands are free.” you say and do a little jazz fingers motion and he just smiles and shakes his head. You put your seatbelt on and he’s pulling out away from the curb.

“Besides, you can’t shit on what I’m wearing, when you’re wearing that.” 

“Hey, be nice to me. Av puked on the shirt I was going to wear and I hadn’t had the chance to wash my clothes yet.” 

“Well, let’s skip the zoo. Avery won’t know the difference, we’ll go back to your place and I can help you clean up.” you suggest and he shakes his head.

“My laundry is not your responsibility. We’re going to the zoo.” he says in his dad voice and you just laugh.

“Whatever you say, dad-man.” you kick your feet up against his dash and if you were anyone else, he’d be telling you to get them off the dash.

The drive to the zoo goes by quickly and despite you calling dibs on paying the entrance fee, Jake is slapping his card down faster than you can even open your fanny pack. You shoot him a glare and he gives you a smirk that sends most girls falling to their knees. Keyword, most.

Jake pushes Avery’s stroller through the zoo while you walk beside him, making light conversation and getting to know each other as you make your way to where the kids' activities are located. 

You learn that he comes from an abusive home. His dad was an alcoholic who passed from liver failure not that long ago, flooding the family with relief. He has three sisters, plenty of nieces and nephews. You learned grew up on a ranch which explains how his legs bow out the smallest amount, his favorite color is green (of course), his favorite tv show, food, even the book he read recently. You told him about your life too, growing up in eastern Tennessee, your parents' accident, living with Penny and helping her raise Amelia to the teen she is today, your time in Vermont, why you picked education to go into. Jake easily saw you as someone that he wanted to spend more time with, it was a no brainer that you would be the one watching his daughter when he needed it. Hell, he could even see Avery calling you mom one day, in the distant future of course. 

You three had finally made it to the area of the zoo where the activities were being held and you take Avery out of her stroller and sit with her in your lap while Jake sits next to you. The warmth of your skin against his making him hotter than the San Diego sun. 

For the next hour you two sit, comfortable with each other while Avery mashes paint around the ziplock bag she was working on. Thankfully for the sun it dried quickly and you drew out a few animals on the rainbow colors covering the page. 

At only 4 months old, Jake is in such awe at how you talk to and how you treat Avery and even at how Avery responds to you. The babble that you do back to Avery, how sweet you talk to her, how she reaches for you, all of it. Just melts Jake. 

The time to walk back to the truck wasn’t long enough, in his opinion, and he was already planning a trip back when she was a little older and would appreciate it a little bit more. 

You put Avery in her carseat while Jake breaks down her stroller and puts it into the bed of his truck before shutting the lift gate. “Still up for coffee?” he asks just as you’re shutting the back door.

“If you are.” you say and give him a smile, he opens your door for you and offers you a hand and you just laugh and take it before hopping up into the cab and once you’re settled he shuts the door and walks around to his own side.

The drive to the local coffee shop he had in mind was surprisingly quick to get to, granted he did speed a little through some yellow lights to get there.

You don’t bother getting Avery’s stroller out, choosing instead to just undo her car seat and carry her in that way since she was sleeping peacefully already. You tell Jake your order and he stands in line while you go and pick out a table, a little table in the corner and you set Avery’s carrier the table after making sure that it was sturdy enough that you didn’t need to worry about bumping the table and having her shift too much. 

Jake comes and takes a seat since it’ll take a minute for the food to be prepared. “They didn’t have hazelnut, is caramel okay?” he asks since you had asked for a hazelnut latte.

“Caramel is perfect, actually. It’s my favorite flavor.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” he says with a smile and leans forward on the table and you give him a kind smile back.

“So dad-man. Think I’m fit enough to watch Avery for you?” you ask and he chuckles.

“I think you’re qualified to do more than that, but yeah. She loves you, I love you-oh I uh-” his ears redden and you laugh.

“No I get it, don’t worry.” you say as his name is being called for the food and drinks. You watch him walk away, shamelessly checking him out as he goes, you bite your lip softly but look away quickly when he turns around to walk back. 

“One chicken salad on a croissant with blueberry applesauce and an iced caramel latte with oat milk for Saturn,” he says, setting your tray down and you laugh and he sets his down before pulling his chair out. “And one of the exact same thing for me.”  

“Real original dad-man.” you say as you take a sip of the latte and you moan, “this is so good.” 

His breath hitches when he hears the sound and he shakes it off with a laugh, “yeah, the coffee here is the best I’ve had in the area. It’s nice that it isn’t too far from base or from home either.”

“Might just have to go a little out of my way in the morning to come here.” you say and he laughs.

“So, how did you get the nickname Saturn?” he asks as he takes a bite of his sandwich and a sad smile forms on your face.

“I got it from my dad. I don’t know why I took such a liking to the planet, but I grew up loving space. I wanted to be an astronaut, actually. He took me to our local planetarium and it was the first planet that I actually saw in the telescope and there was just something about the rings that really drew five year old me in. I wanted saturn everything. I even went as the planet for Halloween one year.” you say and he laughs.

“What were you just a yellow ball with circles around you?” he asks and you nod.

“Yeah pretty much, let me see if I have a picture.” you pull out your phone and he glances at your lock screen and sees it’s you and another girl kissing with fireworks in the background. He quickly looks away as you get into your phone, feeling an unnecessary stab to his heart. “Here it is!” you say and show him little you with a little bucket of candy, the biggest grin on your face and he laughs and takes your phone so he can look at it closer.

“You were adorable, what happened?” he teases and you make an offended noise and snatch your phone back.

“I’m still adorable! I’m just… grown now.” you say and he laughs.

You both sit there for a while longer, Jake running out to get stuff for a bottle before coming back in to see you already holding her and waiting for him to return. “You want me to feed her?” he asks and you shake your head.

“Nope. I got her.” you saw and take the bottle, she latches quickly to it and starts drinking away. “When you have me around you are doing nothing. Just relax, daddy. Let someone else take care of her.”

He feels relief at that statement, but also useless since all he’s done for the past almost month is take care of this little human that he helped to create. But watching you take care of her, so effortlessly, was so easy for him. He didn’t expect to be able to relinquish control of this aspect of his life so easily, and yet, it was almost second nature to him.

“So, are you able to start watching her on Monday? I return to duty then and-”

“Jake, it’s fine. I do nothing all day aside from helping out Penny at the bar. I would be more than happy to come and spend all day with this little baby.” you say, looking down at Avery with a smile on your face.

“I’m not, stealing you away from anyone am I? Boyfriend.. Girlfriend?” he fishes and you laugh.

“My girlfriend lives back in Vermont. She doesn’t have any plans to come visit any time soon so as of right now, the only person you and Avery are stealing time from is myself. But there’s nothing I can’t do with her that I couldn’t do by myself.” you say and he nods.

“How long have you two been together?” 

“Just over two years. We celebrated our anniversary just before I moved out here.” you say, looking back up at him and you see the look change in his eyes and you offer him a small smile.

“What about you? Any girlfriend that’s going to come out of the frameworks?” you tease and he shakes his head. 

“Nah, not really looking to date now that I have this little one to be thinking about.” he says and you nod, the conversation ending there. 

After Avery is done with her bottle you burp her and lay her back in her car seat. It’s nearing 3pm already and you have to get to the bar soon for your shift. Jake carries Avery back to the car while you run into the bathroom, splashing cool water on your face. 

You knew things were rocky with your girlfriend back home, and the last thing you ever wanted to do was get involved with your new boss, even if he was one of the most genuine and kind men you’ve ever met.

You make your way to Jake’s truck and he’s waiting for you outside, windows already rolled down so the back door can be shut and Avery won’t bake in the Californian sun. He opens your door for you again and you smile and climb up in the truck.

It’s a short drive to the bar and you hesitate getting out, you look back at him with your lip already between your teeth and you smile. “Thank you, Jake. I had a really great time.”

He returns your smile with a nod, “so did I. And I’m sure that Avery did too.” you laugh and look back at her.

“You’ll have to text me your address before Monday.” you remind him and he nods.

“I will.”

“Alright, well. Enjoy your night, dad-man.” you say, jumping out of his truck and he watches you walk into the bar, leaning his head back against his seat and letting out a deep sigh.

Of course you’re in a relationship.

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[c0smic-dawn]

SELF-SABOTAGE | Chapter 17: Lovebirds

(Buckle up everyone this one is a big one)

(Y/n) sat on her bed in silence as she stared at her last text conversation with Yeonjun asking if she and soobin could pick up some drinks for the movie night tonight. The movie night she was contemplating flaking out on until he texted her before she would even do anything to attempt to get out of it. Her eyes closed for a minute as she let out a heavy sigh.

What was there to even be scared of? Why was she so nervous about this? It was just a simple movie night between friends. It was an opportunity to become friends with Yeonjun and Soobin’s friend group. So why was she nervous about all of this? It’s nothing her and Soobin haven’t done before.

They have been selling this couple BS well so far, or at least, that’s what Beomgyu has been telling her. They checked off the basic couple things. Walking next to each other, holding hands, sitting next to each other every chance they got, leaning their heads on one of each other’s shoulders, hugging, and all that jazz. Yet, Yeonjun and Chaeyeon seemed to be able to tell something was off and it was driving (Y/n) insane. If Chaeyeon and Yeonjun knew something was off then Jaeyi must have noticed too, right?

A loud groan left (Y/n)’s mouth as she fell flat against her bed opening her eyes to stare at her bedroom ceiling.

Maybe her and Soobin needed to talk more about everything. Try and find a way to make this more comfortable for both of them, so it could seem natural.

Well, it wasn’t too bad for (Y/n) anymore at least. She grew somewhat used to her and Soobin’s actions. They hung out by themselves at least a few times after he found her in the planetarium but not too often. After that day, she decided that maybe Soobin wasn’t as much of an asshole as she originally thought. He was still insufferable but she could actually stand being around him for longer than a few hours now.

The girl kept her eyes trained on the ceiling for a good few more minutes before picking up her phone to check the time.

6:00 pm

The movie night at Yeonjun and Dino’s place started at 7 according to the text Yeonjun sent in the DDR chat earlier that day. It was mainly set at that time because Soobin and Taehyun had swim practice until 6:30, so that would give them time to head home and quickly get what they need then head over to the apartment.

(Y/n) boredly scrolled through her phone a bit but kept glancing at the time every few minutes.

If Soobin got done practice at 6:30 then when would they meet up to go to Yeonjun’s place? Didn’t they have to pick up drinks? Or was that for her to do alone? Maybe they were going to go separately to his place-

Wait, why was she thinking so hard about this?

“Ugh,” (Y/n) huffed out and forced herself to sit up on her bed once more. Her hand coming up and ruffling her hair in slight frustration from overthinking. Another sigh left her and she looked over to her overnight bag she packed in the corner of her room. She always packed one when she would head over to Yeonjun’s place as she always seemed too tired to go home by the time they were finished with whatever they were doing.

Her eyes slowly look over to the digital alarm clock by her bed:

6:10 pm

(Y/n) glanced back at her overnight bag then to her phone.

“Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I’m doing this..” she muttered to herself as she got up from her bed and walked over to grab her bag.

Soon enough, she was outside the HYBE University’s pool. Her bag over her should as she awkwardly leaned against the building, checking the time. It was about 6:25 meaning Soobin would be done practice soon. (Y/n) bit her lip as she looked back at the buildings entrance doors.

Maybe she should leave. This was stupid. Why was she even doing this?

The girl went back and forth for a bit before opening her messages between her and Soobin.

‘I’m outside.’

(Y/n) stared at the text for a good while before finally hitting send. Nervously staring at the screen as she waited for it to be read, regretting sending it with every second that passed.

She nervously felt her pulse pick up as she noticed the 3 chat bubble dots pop up; However, they disappeared as soon as they were seen.

‘Oh god, why did I even do this. This is weird. He is gonna find this weird and he is going to be a bitch and dog on me for this’ She mentally cursed at herself while shutting off her phone.

“Well, this is a nice surprise.”

Soobin’s voice nearly made her jump out of her skin.

(Y/n) quickly tore her eyes upwards to see Soobin walking towards her from the front entrance of the pool. He was in a HYBE University swim team jacket and some plain black sweat pants; His hair seemed to be slightly wet from either swimming or getting into the shower after practice. He walked up to her with his dimples on full display causing her to look away from his face quickly.

Why was he so happy to see her?

“How’d you know I had practice today?” He asked when finally in front of her. His small grin still on his face.

“Oh um, Yeonjun mentioned you and Taehyun had practice when we were talking about times for the movie night…” (Y/n) trailed off slightly when explaining. Gosh, when did she get this awkward? It’s almost like her and Soobin switched personalities.

Soobin just stared at her seemingly in an endearing way as she explained. His heart secretly singing at the fact she came by to pick him up after practice.

“And you decided to pick me up?” He asked, smile stuck to his face, as (Y/n) nodded finally looking up at him.

“Cute” he chuckled out.

(Y/n) nearly did a double take because of the comment but then looked around their surroundings to see the swim team still standing around and talking.

Right. They were in public.

(Y/n) gathered herself and threw a smile back at him. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, you big goof.” She playfully punched his arm.

Soobin let out a small laugh as (Y/n) finally moved from her postion of leaning on the building, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

Before (Y/n) could say anything else, Taehyun quickly ran up to the two of them.

“Soobin, you and (Y/n) are still going to Yeonjun’s tonight, right- oh hey,” the younger boy quickly caught himself as he saw the fake couple standing with each other. The two quickly looked over at Taehyun as he stood next to them.

“Uh…hi?” (Y/n) waved while Soobin rolled his eyes at the girl’s sudden stiffness.

“Yeah, we are. (Y/n) actually surprised me and came to pick me up. Isn’t that right, babe?” Soobin smiled while pulling the girl into a small side hug.

(Y/n) instantly falling into character and wrapping her arms around his waist and nodding with a smile. Noticing Soobin tense slightly from her suddenly falling back into their fake dynamic.

“Yup! I thought it would be nice to pick him up, then grab some drinks for the movie night, and head over.” She beamed towards Taehyun, pinching Soobin’s side secretly as if to tell him to chill the fuck out.

Soobin winced lightly and shot her a quick look before directing his attention back to Taehyun, who seemed to be analyzing them.

The younger boy slowly nodded with an eyebrow raised slightly in question.

“Okay…well, see you two later, I guess”, Taehyun hesitantly said before giving them one more glance and walking away.

The fake couple watched as he walked away and quickly untangled themselves from the hug. They both said nothing as they looked at each other silently agreeing that they needed to walk away from his teammates. Soobin being the first to interlock their fingers and start heading away from the building, (Y/n) stumbling slightly before following in suit.

Once they were far enough away, they finally both went to speak up.

“You need to chill the fuck out”

“Why the hell did you pinch me?”

Both (Y/n) and Soobin blurted out at the same time. The two stopping and looking at each other with slightly agitated expressions.

(Y/n) huffed and rolled her eyes, “I pinched you because you were tense! We can’t look awkward in front of your friends!” She explained while looking up at Soobin in frustration.

Soobin was quick to furrow his brows at the comment, “it was barely noticeable! You pinching me definitely made it seem more weird than me being slightly tense!”

The two stood there in a beat of silence, both with slightly annoyed expressions as they stared at each other.

(Y/n) was first to break eye contact and quickly looked away only to notice their hands still interlocked.

She quickly pulled her hand away from Soobin’s. Her cheeks burning slightly from the embarrassment of still holding his hand throughout an argument.

“Whatever, let’s just quickly grab what we need from the store and head over to Yeonjun’s.” She mumbled as she sped walked ahead.

Soobin stood there for a minute slightly confused but hurried after her.

(Y/n) could feel herself get more and more embarrassed by the second. Why was this so embarrassing? What was going on with her lately?

Stress. It was probably just stress.

After heading the to nearest store and grabbing what they needed, they were at Yeonjun’s apartment door.

Soobin glanced at (Y/n) before gently putting an arm around her, causing her to jump and look up at him with a confused look.

“We need to look like a couple, remember?” He said with a small smile seemly to try and calm her nerves.

The girl slowly nodded and shook herself out of the weird headspace she was in earlier.

She was really just getting in her head over these things. She needed to calm down. Soobin was even trying to be nice again and help her calm down. She just needed to get out of her own head.

(Y/n) let a breath out and looked at the door once more, “yeah, sorry.” She said softly and then knocked on the door.

A loud yell erupted from inside followed by a few sounds that seemed like people tripping over each other. It was then followed by a voice, that (Y/n) could only assume was Chae’s, yelling at whoever was causing the problem. Soobin and (Y/n) exchanged a confused look before the door swung open to reveal a heavily breathing, slightly disheveled, Beomgyu.

“Welcome, love birds!” He greeted them as a just as disheveled Yeonjun popped up from seemingly being knocked over on the floor.

“Hey! This is my place! What gives you the right to greet my guests like you own the place?!” The older male yelled while getting up and shoving Beomgyu away from the door before putting on a smile.

“Hey, Soob. Hey, (Y/n).”

The duo stared at him for a minute before Chaeyeon peeked her head over to the door from the inside of apartment.

“Please come in. We have only been here for a few minutes and I’m already about to lose my mind” Chaeyeon practically begged.

A small snort left (Y/n) as she grabbed Soobin’s arm and dragged him into the apartment past Yeonjun.

The apartment was much cleaner than the last time (Y/n) saw it which was a relief, but it was just as chaotic as usual. Maybe even more so, due to the addition of new people. Beomgyu was still seemingly about to jump Yeonjun for kicking him from greeting the couple. Kai and Hyojeong were busy in the corner seeming to be losing at a game of UNO against Taehyun. While Chaeyeon looked like a few years were taken off of her life span from dealing with everyone (minus Taehyun as he seemed to be the only other chill person there).

The large couch in the middle of the apartment had a few blankets thrown on there for everyone to use during them movie while the loveseat had a matching aesthetic. The coffee table held bowls of popcorn and candy, as well as a few waters seeing as (Y/n) and Soobin got the other drinks. It was a cute little set up.

(Y/n) just laughed slightly at everything going on and turned to Yeonjun, “Hey, Jun. where do you want us to put these?” She asked while holding up the bag of sodas and gesturing to the pack of hard lemonades that Yeonjun requested they pick up.

Jun turned his attention away from Beomgyu, who he currently putting in a headlock, to (Y/n) and Soobin.

“Oh, you can put those in the fridge for now. We can bring them out when pizza gets here and we start the movie.”

Soobin nods as he and (Y/n) quickly head to the kitchen and store the drinks away. Soobin watching as (Y/n) is walks around the kitchen, grabbing paper plates from a cabinet, complaining about how Jun always forgets to bring plates out for when they order food.

A small smile crawls onto his face as she seems to be sorting out Yeonjun’s kitchen for him.

“What?”

(Y/n)’s voice snaps him back to reality.

“Nothing, just find it funny that you are cleaning Hyung’s kitchen for him.” He comments still smiling like an idiot.

(Y/n) rolls her eyes, “It’s not my fault him and Chan are practically slobs. I’m surprised it’s at least this clean. Usually it looks like a war zone in here. I’m always cleaning when I come over because Yeonjun doesn’t seem to understand the concept of cleaning.”

“Oh trust me, I know. I had to clean out his locker senior year because it was right next to mine and I couldn’t stand the avalanche of papers that would fall from his locker every time he opened it.” Soobin explained with a small laugh.

(Y/n) suddenly bursted out laughing,

“Oh my gosh! I remember that! You had to call the janitor over to help scrub the inside of his locker!”

Soobin couldn’t help but start laughing more as (Y/n) bursted our in laughter.

The both of them going back and forth with stupid stories they had with Yeonjun in high school until they were nearly crying from laughing. (Y/n) leaning on Soobin for support while clenching her stomach. The two enjoying the small moment of shared laughter with each other.

The shorter of the duo thinking to herself about how maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to have Soobin as a friend. Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt and they could become good friends.

(Y/n) was catching her breath from the last story Soobin told about Yeonjun nearly getting kicked out of the elementary school play when they were kids. Her body still nearly leaning against his from earlier.

After realizing how close they were, she was quick to try and back up.

“Sorry- oh!”

(Y/n) almost tumbled backwards due to tripping on the leg of a stool she didn’t notice.

“Woah!”, Soobin was quick to catch her and pull her back up.

“You good?” He asked still holding her by the waist to keep her steady.

She nods and goes to speak before Hyojeong bursts into the kitchen loudly. “Break it up, Barbie and Ken. You guys are disgusting…Beomgyu was right about the cheesy K-drama bullshit.” She snickers as the two pull away from each other quickly.

“Lu!” (Y/n) hisses out feeling her face burn slightly.

“Sorry! Sorry! Yeonjun wanted me to tell you, while you two were busy making out or whatever, that the pizza is here and we are going to start the movie soon.” The younger girl explained while hurrying to the fridge and grabbing the drinks that the duo bought earlier.

The seating arrangements for the night were simple. On the couch was Yeonjun, Taehyun, Chaeyeon, Beomgyu, Kai, and Lucy. Taehyun and Chaeyeon acting as a barrier between Gyu and Yeonjun in hopes of keeping the movie night on track. While Soobin and (Y/n) were, of course, banished to the loveseat.

Everyone was settled in their positions, some of them under the blankets Yeonjun provided, pizza was served on paper plates, the bowls of popcorn and candy near everyone, and everyone had their drink of choice.

Beomgyu had been the one to choose the movie after an extremely intense game of rock, paper, scissors.

And, to no one’s shock, he chose a rom-com; Staring Soobyn down evilly while making the decision. (Yeonjun also stared the two down just as connivingly as the choice was made).

(Y/n) and Soobin sat on the loveseat. Both sharing a blanket like any couple would. (Y/n)’s head resting on Soobin’s shoulder with his arm thrown around her.

The movie was cheesy to say the least. (Y/n) felt herself fighting off laughter at some stupid scenes and she could tell Soobin fighting off laughter as well.

The group on the couch next to them seemed to sneak glanced at them every now and then. By “the group”, that meant Yeonjun and Beomgyu. (Occasionally Chaeyeon)

The two watched (Y/n) and Soobin like a hawk. One in hopes of watching them fuck up slightly and suffer. The other wanting to see his Soobyn agenda in action.

Both (Y/n) and Soobin could feel their gazes. That alone was somewhat uncomfortable but it also meant they probably should amp up the act.

(Y/n) sighed and leaned close to Soobin’s ear, “They’re watching. What do we do?” She whispered not noticing Soobin tense at how close she was.

His brown eyes shifted over to hers and then glanced at the two males staring them down. He lets out a small sigh and purses his lips in contemplation.

“…I have a small idea but I don’t think you’ll like it much…”

That enough was to make the girl next to him raise a brow.

Soobin looked over at the screen then back at (Y/n), “do you trust me?”

“No.”

“(Y/n)-”

“I’m joking, I trust you…..but like not the type of trust that you won’t poison me the second you get the chance.” She snickered quietly as Soobin gave her a look that made her roll her eyes.

Soobin turned her attention back to the movie and (Y/n) stared at him waiting for whatever he was going to do but it didn’t happen. He just seemed to be watching the movie.

(Y/n) huffed slightly at the fact he got all serious for him only to go back to watching some trope filled movie. Soon enough, she started watching it again too.

A scene played showing the two leads getting into an argument over a stupid miscommunication.

“Look, babe. It’s like when you thought I pulled the chair out from under you in high school.” Soobin said aloud while pointing at the screen and turning his head to face (Y/n).

Not only did this catch (Y/n)’s attention but also everyone on the couch across from their’s attention.

“…what? Oh- oh that. Dude, listen, to be fair it was like my 2nd time meeting you after you were a butt to me the first time! What else was I supposed to think?” She replied in a playful manner but her eyes were practically staring daggers at Soobin as if to say ‘what the hell are you doing’ and also ‘I still hold that grudge not matter what you told me’

Soobin lets out a laugh and smiles at her, “it’s not my fault I got nervous! you were super pretty and smart even in high school.”

Okay, now that was an unexpected comment.

(Y/n) could feel her cheeks starting to blush at the sudden comment. Even if it was a fake one.

“Babe..” she warned.

“Sorry, sorry. It just reminded me of how we used to be.” Soobin’s dimples were fully showing now.

Suddenly, (Y/n) felt a pair of lips hit her cheek.

She froze for a second as if to process what happened, her eyes widening slightly.

Soobin just kissed her. Not her lips to be fair but kissed her none the less.

Snapping out of her shock, her face slightly still burning, she pushes his shoulder away in a joking manner. Letting out a hushed “Soobin!” as if she was embarrassed by the sudden affection (to be fair, she was to a certain degree).

The couple let out some giggles as if they were truly together and play fighting.

“Gag me with a spoon-”

“Tae!”

The two look over to see Yeonjun glaring at Taehyun, who looked like he was done with the situation.

Lucy and Chae were giggling slightly to each other before deciding to turn their attention back to the movie.

Kai gave them an all too awkward thumbs up while Beomgyu seemed to mouth the words ‘Boba’ the couple’s way.

Soobin let out a small laugh and turned his attention back to the movie and soon everyone else followed in suit.

Except (Y/n), who sat there in some relative shock due to the fact:

The kiss didn’t bother her much.

Summary: After (Y/n) breaks up with her ex, Do Jaeyi, she isn’t left alone by him. Finally after being bothered nonstop, she breaks and tells him she is dating her high school rival, Choi Soobin. Now they are left to keep up the act of being a couple till this all blows over. Little does (Y/n) know Soobin has been waiting for a chance like this.

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A/n: WELL THERE WE GO!!!!! This is probably going to be the last written one of a good while as I feel like I've been making them a lot compared to other SMAUs that I've seen, but we will see if I keep that commitment lol. I do apologize for the length of this chapter lmao but I felt it was needed to grow the characters some. ALSOOOOOO I want to keep you guys up to date with stuff and interact with you more! So I want to make a tag for stuff relating to this series so I can tag it when I have some news! I also would use it for if you guys send me asks! So help me with some ideas for series tag names and don't be afraid to interact with me on my page! Love youuuuuu

TAGLIST. Open @etherealcherrie @i2lain @hoonfever @faeryhee

[lgcmaylin]

𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘. Wordcount: 726 Gif credit ©

✗ A Day in the Life of Maylin.

this was a new challenge for maylin. documenting her life in one day seemed like a lot to think about, and what she can and can't showcase during her filming. though the brunette decided not to overthink it too much, whatever the editors wanted to cut, they could do so without maylin feeling bad about their decision.

6:00 am.

this was when maylin woke up almost every day, the sound of her alarm gently playing in the background as she had already gotten up to set up this camera to catch her waking up. it was clear that while she woke up super early, the trainee wasn't a morning person at all. she sat in her bed for another five minutes, simply sitting and staring into space before getting up to do her daily morning routine. this consisted of flossing, brushing her teeth, washing her face, and putting out very minimal skincare alongside her regular amount of makeup. all of this was done in silence, there were no words to truly be said so early in the morning yet.

moving on to preparing her breakfast, this is when maylin began to speak in a whisper, not wanting to fully wake up the other girls in the dorm. "I'm not having anything special… just some leftover rice, kimchi, and the stew I made last night," she spoke while getting her food together, even making a snack for herself later that had yogurt, granola, and fruits in a container that was placed back in the fridge.

7:00 am.

by now, maylin is seen making her way to the company.

she expressed while walking that she likes to get to the studios earlier, just to squeeze in some alone time to stretch and truly get her mindset prepared for a full day of training. "in the midst of it all, the company is preparing for another family concert." she started, entering the studio's and placing the camera down so she could talk and stretch at the same time. "this would be my fourth… fifth, concert preparation and each year it gets even more exciting than the last." and one of the only times she could fully perform on stage with a crowd. the thought of doing this every year pushed maylin harder to achieve her goal of debuting.

when training began, and not giving much away from the practice session, maylin didn't want to record too much and take her focus away from learning - but she did record a good portion of her dance practice with the other trainees.

Lunchtime.

while maylin liked to eat alone, she met up with a close friend of hers for lunch, taeha. deciding to eat outside of the company that day, the girls went to a cafe close by. they spent the time they had eating and chatting with one another, catching up on the things they missed during their phone calls. maylin could be seen laughing along with her friend, sharing photos and even small ghost stories that she learned during the week.

6:00 pm.

maylin was now home, eating bibimbap that she picked up on her way back to the dorms. she sat at a desk in the corner of the room, her glasses on as she had placed the camera in front of her. "this is normally how my life is outside of school. if I was back in that routine, you guys would probably see me bouncing around a bit more from the college lifestyle to being a trainee at night." and how she juggle it all, along with her other hobbies? maylin doesn't know. she continued to chat with the camera about how excited she was to learn a new routine and dance with the other girls. she is the happiest performing, and dancing, of course. there would be a small twinkle in her eyes as she spoke.

8:30 pm.

her hair was visibly damp from her shower, now doing her skincare once more before letting her hair air dry as she went back to bed. this time, she turned on a small reading lamp that she installed on her bed. she was journaling in the dark, then reading a book before growing tired. her video ended here, of the young woman indulging in a fantasy book that would keep her up all night if she allowed it to.

[spnhunter4life]

End Up Here Chapter 3

Chapter Summary: Emily and Dean have their first date.

Word Count: 2.8k

Masterlist Series Masterlist

My alarm woke me up at 7:30 the next morning. I stayed in bed for a few minutes, stretching and petting Ziggy while I summoned the motivation to actually get out of bed, my usual morning routine. Then I remembered my plans for the morning.

I sat up quickly, suddenly wide awake. Ziggy, who is always hyper and excitable in the mornings, noted my change in energy and ran in excited circles on the bed.

“You wanna go outside?” I asked her, trailing my hand along the bed and watching her chase after it. I grabbed her and placed a kiss on the top of her head before getting up to get dressed.

I kept in mind my plans to meet up with that guy from last night – Dean, I reminded myself – as I decided what to wear. I settled on jeans and a t-shirt, my usual attire. After all, I was still going to work afterwards and I didn’t want to ruin any of my nice clothes. Not to mention it was just breakfast. It would be weird if I was overdressed. I did pull out a better fitting pair of jeans and a nicer shirt than I would have normally bothered with though.

I took Ziggy outside, letting her wander around the yard for a few minutes before I had to go in to finish getting ready. Ziggy’s breakfast was next on my list. I crushed up the joint pill I gave her every morning, mixed it into a spoonful of her wet food, and rinsed out her bowl when she was done. I checked to make sure she had enough water and gave her a scoop of dry food for later. 

Then I set out a potty pad for her since I would be gone all day and wouldn’t be able to let her out. I never liked leaving her alone all day, but I couldn’t exactly take her in the restaurant with me, and I didn’t like the idea of leaving her in the car. I reassured myself with the fact that leaving her all day was a rare occurrence and while she may not love it, it wouldn’t kill her.

Now that my dog was set for the day, I went to the bathroom to finish getting ready. I brushed my teeth first and then did my hair. I sprayed a little bit of water on it to make my natural curls a little more pronounced and less flat. I didn’t bother with makeup. It wasn’t worth it when I was out in the sun all day, getting covered in dust and sweat.

I took one last look around the apartment, making sure I wasn’t forgetting about anything. Satisfied that everything was good to go, I said goodbye to Ziggy and then hopped in my car to meet Dean at the diner.

~~~~~

I got to the diner five minutes before 9, but decided to wait in my car for a few minutes. Being late stressed me out so I usually tried to be places a little early, but I didn’t want to beat Dean inside. Nine o’clock came and went, and by 9:02 I still hadn’t seen him. I decided to go wait inside. At least I wasn’t early now and he should be here any minute.

I went in and saw Dean already seated, waiting for me. The table he was at was directly in my line of sight when I walked in the door. I wouldn’t have noticed him otherwise given the amount of people in the room and the fact that I didn’t realize he was here.

“Hi,” I said, smiling as I sat down across from him. I was feeling a little shy this morning, as I usually did on first dates. And it had been a while since the last time I went on a date with anyone, let alone someone I liked as much as him.

“Hi,” he echoed. “How are you this morning?”

I was happy to see that I’d been right about the beautiful color of his eyes. And there was a smattering of light freckles across his face I hadn’t been able to see in the dim light of the bar. I didn’t know how it was possible, but he was actually even more attractive than I’d realized.

“I’m good,” I told him. “How are you?”

“I’m good too,” he said. “I’m glad that you agreed to meet me because I realize that I neglected to ask for your number last night.”

“Is that your way of asking for it now?”

“It’s my way of bringing it up so that I can ask. Emily, can I have your number?”

I smiled and then held my hand out.

“Let me see your phone.”

He pulled it out of his pocket and then spent a moment messing with it. He handed it to me with a new contact pulled up. I typed in my name and number and gave it back to him.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“No problem.”

We stared at each other for a few tense seconds. I wasn’t sure what to say, but unable to look away. Dean cleared his throat.

“I, uh. I have something for you,” he said, putting his hand into his pocket.

“You do?” I asked, surprised. What could he possibly have for me? We’d only met less than 12 hours ago.

“Yeah. I couldn’t stop thinking about your frankly appalling taste in rock music,” he started.

I laughed.

“Hey, I told you those were just the bands I could name, not that they were the only ones I liked,” I defended.

“Well, even so.” He smiled and pulled a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. “I made a list of some songs I think you should check out. You know, just whenever you have the time.”

“And when exactly did you have time to do this?” I asked him as I scanned his list.

“To write down the names of ten songs?��� He asked with a raised eyebrow. “Well, you know. I was up most of the night working on it.”

“Alright, silly question,” I admitted. “I guess if I was going to write down a list of songs for someone to listen to it would just take me a while to decide what to pick.”

“I’ve got a pretty clear list of favorites in my head. I just scribbled that down quick before I left this morning. Only took me a minute or two.”

“Well I’ll be sure to check them out and let you know what I think.”

Our conversation was briefly interrupted when the waitress came to take our order. Her name was Helen and she was a very friendly older lady who seemed to genuinely love her job. I realized I hadn’t even looked at the menu yet and scanned it quickly while Dean ordered, choosing the first thing that looked good.

“So what are your big plans for the day?” Dean asked when the waitress was gone.

“No big plans. Just work,” I told him.

“Oh. So are you, like, a nurse or something? Or what do you do that you have to work on Saturday?”

“I don’t have to. But there are things that need to be done that I didn’t have time for this week and am probably not going to have time for next week either.”

“Uh huh. And what do you do?” He asked again.

“I work at Freedom Reins. It’s a therapeutic riding center.”

“What is that exactly?”

“It’s a place where people with disabilities come out to ride horses,” I explained. “I’m the head instructor and equine manager. So basically I’m in charge of all the horses. Keeping an eye on their health, scheduling vet and farrier appointments, riding the horses to make sure they’re all listening the way they should, working on any new behavior issues with horses if they come up. That sort of thing. I don’t always have time to do all that during the week on top of teaching classes.”

“Wow. Yeah, that sounds like a lot of work.”

“It is,” I said. “But it’s all worth it when you see how much our riders love being out there and how much they benefit from it. What about you? What do you do?”

“I’m a mechanic. Not as exciting as your job, but I’ve always loved cars, so I enjoy it,” he said. “Plus it makes finding a new job when I move a lot easier. No matter where I go, there’s always going to be at least one mechanic looking for help.”

“It might not be exciting, but it’s an important job. We rely on our cars and I’d say the majority of people have no idea how to fix things themselves. Which means we kind of rely on mechanics.”

“What about you? Do you know your way around a car’s engine?”

“Pfft. Absolutely not,” I told him. “I’ve had enough issues with cars in the past that I can do some very basic maintenance, but otherwise I’m basically useless.”

“Basically useless is better than entirely useless,” he offered.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” I agreed. “So you said you love cars. Did you always want to be a mechanic?”

“No, not always. When I was little I wanted to be a firefighter. When I was a teenager who was supposed to be figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I had no clue. There was a short period where I considered joining the military like my dad. But I decided that wasn’t for me. I did have this secret fantasy of being a rockstar though,” he admitted with a rueful smile. 

“Doesn’t every kid want to be famous at some point?” I pointed out, trying to ease the little bit of embarrassment I thought I detected at that admission. “It’s either a rockstar or an actor or a sports star or a model. Whatever it is, they want to be the best and they want to be famous for it.”

“Which one were you?”

“Mm. I was going to be a famous singer. You know, up until I realized I have terrible stage fright and would absolutely hate being famous.”

He laughed and the waitress brought our food out, telling us to let her know if we needed anything else.

“How’d you decide on being a mechanic then?” I asked him.

“We have this family friend that owns a salvage yard and auto shop. I used to help him with the cars when we visited. I realized it was something I really enjoyed doing and I didn’t need any school for it. Employers usually prefer experience over schooling, so I just went to work with that friend for a couple years after high school and picked up what I needed to know there. I’ve been bouncing around ever since, learning on the job if I come across something new.”

“It’s nice that you knew someone who was able to help you get started.”

“Yeah, it was. Bobby’s great. I owe him a lot.” He smiled fondly when talking about the man. “What about you? Did you always have big plans of working at that riding center?”

“No,” I smiled. “I didn’t really know what I wanted to do either. I knew I loved horses though. You know how basically every class in every school across America has a horse obsessed girl?” He smirked and nodded. “That was me. So that’s what I went to school for and I just assumed I’d figure out what to do with it later. Not the smartest move, I know.”

I paused to take a bite of hashbrowns and a sip of orange juice. 

“But, it worked out. I found Freedom Reins because I did an internship there. I came back the next year, and once I graduated, was offered a job there. When my current position opened up a couple years later, they offered it to me.”

“That’s great that it all worked out that way.”

“Yeah, it is.” 

We were both quiet for a few moments and I searched for a new topic. I asked the first thing that popped into my head.

“What’s your family like?”

“Not much to tell there,” Dean answered. “Just my parents and my younger brother Sam.”

“And where are they at?”

“My parents are in Kansas. They settled down there a few years ago and it’s where they plan to stay.”

“You didn’t like it though?”

“I was already out of the house by the time they moved there. But we lived there for a short time growing up. It was a nice enough place.”

“Just not what you’re looking for,” I finished for him.

“Exactly.”

“What about your brother?”

“Sammy’s in California. He just passed his bar exam last year and now he’s working as a prosecutor out there,” he said.

“Wow. A lawyer. That’s impressive,” I mused. Dean smiled proudly.

“It is,” he agreed. “What about your family?”

“Well my parents live a couple hours away. My older brother is also a couple hours away, working on my grandpa’s ranch which he’ll take over one day. And my younger sister is in Texas working as a photographer.”

“Why Texas? That’s a long way from the rest of the family. Or was that the point?”

“Her husband is from Austin and he’s got his own business down there. It was a lot easier for her to move than him.”

“That makes sense,” he said. After a short pause he switched topics. “So, you’re a horse lover.”

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“And your grandpa owns a ranch?”

“Yes.” 

“Do you have any horses of your own then?”

“No, I don’t. I’m pretty busy without having a horse of my own to take care of. Not to mention I have nowhere to keep it. I mean, my grandpa's ranch would technically be an option, but I’m not driving two hours one way every time I want to see my horse. I do have a dog though. Between her and all the horses at work, I’m pretty content with the amount of animals in my life,” I told him.

“Well if you ask me, dogs are better anyway. What kind of dog do you have?” He wondered.

I smiled at his interest. I was always happy to talk about Ziggy.

“I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh,” I warned.

“Why would I laugh?”

“I don’t know. A lot of people see the outdoorsy, horsey, country girl and assume I’ve got a cattle dog or something. Or at least a big breed.”

“I had no assumptions of the kind,” he assured me. “But I’m going to assume it’s a small dog then? Nothing wrong with that.”

“She’s a chihuahua mix and she’s about as small as they come. She weighs four pounds.”

“And she’s full grown?” He asked in disbelief. I grinned at him.

“Eleven years old. A lot of people assume she’s a puppy when they see her. Although she’s starting to get gray, so that might not be the case for long. What about you? Any pets?”

“No, not right now. I’ve thought about getting a dog some day, but I just figured I’d wait until I was settled for good.”

We sat together for nearly an hour, talking and getting to know each other. I learned that the classic car he drives is his most prized possession and that he is a bit of a movie nerd. He came across as very genuine and sweet and I could also tell that he’s a smart guy.

The waitress came over and asked if our bill would be separate or together. Dean and I answered at the same time, me telling her separate and Dean saying together. 

“I can get my own,” I told him. 

“I know you can. But I’m the one who asked you out. I’ve got it.” Then he turned to Helen. “Together,” he said again. She walked away with an amused smile.

Overall it was a very pleasant morning. I was so glad he asked me out and was already looking forward to seeing him again.

“Thanks for breakfast,” I told him when we were out in the parking lot. “I really enjoyed it.”

“I did too. We’ll have to do it again sometime. Maybe we could change it up a little and do lunch. Or if you really want to go crazy we could even go to a movie or… bowling or something. I don’t really know what there is to do in this town.”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “I’d like that.”

“Ok, great,” he smiled. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”

I smiled back.

“Bye Dean,” I said and then got into my car.

A/N: I tried to make up a cool name for a therapeutic riding center, and Freedom Reins is what I came up with. Turns out it's actually a real place in Indiana, but it took me forever to come up with that name and I didn't want to change it. If you're unfamiliar with therapeutic riding centers, I encourage you to check and see if you have one locally. They are really great places and I think a lot of them are nonprofit. They are a great place to donate to or even consider volunteering! They really do make a big difference in the riders' lives.

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@123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28 @suckitands33

[logarhythm-bees]

To Unearth and Back Again; ⛅Chapter 2

Chapter One | Table of Contents | Chapter Three

See ronithesnail's absolutely wonderful art for this story!

I will find my way I can go the distance I'll be there someday If I can be strong I know every mile Will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong

-Go The Distance, Hercules

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee-

Roman slammed his hand down over the alarm clock, groaning. Squinting his eyes, he tried to make out the time through his bleary vision. 7:30, the clock said in neon white letters. Roman shook the clock in frustration. The clock, being an inanimate object, did not respond. 

Setting it down on the nightstand, and patting it apologetically despite the fact that it was still an inanimate object, Roman tucked the covers back around himself, muttering about “Logan and his stupid schedule, always with the schedules…” and wondering if he could sneak in another couple minutes of sleep without one of the others coming to look for him. He laid his head back on the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut again, when his brain decided to finally wake up and remind Roman what exactly he had planned for the day.

Roman shot up like a particularly extravagant jack-in-the-box, eyes barely on the former edge of literally sparkling. He tumbled out of his bed with the blankets still halfway stuck around him, dashing off to his bathroom and miraculously managing to do so without tripping over his sheets– not to say that he didn’t have a few close calls. 

He opened the little towel warmer he kept on his counter and gently placed- okay, tossed a towel into it, and then proceeded to spend several seconds getting into a fight with the thing as he was trying to close the door, before eventually giving up and taking the towel out to actually fold it neatly and put it in.

Roman hopped into the shower, humming a random medley of Disney love songs as he did so. Letting the soap flow over him, he took extra care washing his hair, because he was dramatic and he had a special day ahead, and he was Roman, so of course he did.

“All at once,” he sang, closing his eyes as he pictured the Tangled scene. “Everything is diff-aUgh,” coughing, he choked on the words, disgusted by the little bit of shampoo that had run into his mouth. He spat indignantly as he tried to get the bitter taste off of his tongue, swishing some of the falling water around in his mouth to clear it out.

Finally feeling only water on his taste buds, Roman shook his head and washed the shampoo out of his hair, careful not to get any in his mouth this time. He ruffled in some of his fanciest conditioner, the type he usually saved for special things, like performances and auditions and parties.

And Virgil, his brain supplied, and Roman felt the smile slip back onto his face.

He wrapped the warm towel around himself, checking his phone. He huffed dramatically as he spotted a text from Logan reminding him to be down for breakfast soon. Logan was insistent, however broken their relationships were now, that they continued to have family breakfast. He claimed it was important for them to promote structure, but Roman knew that it was really because it made Patton sad if they didn’t come and Logan was thoroughly hooked on his partners.

Patton, Roman thought, biting his tongue. The clouds of frustration and hurt began to creep into his mind, dark and dangerous, and Roman took a deep breath and shooed them away. There was only room for one stormcloud in his head today, and it was certainly a much better one than that. 

On the subject of his stormcloud, below Logan’s message was a notification that Virgil had liked the meme Roman had sent him the night before, a picture of a sink on a porch with the caption “let that sink in”. Roman grinned, setting his phone down and beamed at the reminder of Virgil and his plan, ecstatically turning back to the mirror to focus on getting himself together and ready.

Squirting a perhaps overzealous amount of toothpaste onto his brush, he brushed his teeth with a passion, and teeth-brushing is something most people are not particularly passionate about, even when they are the literal embodiment of passion like Roman, but he was feeling the vibes today. And maybe he wanted to make extra sure he made a good impression on Virgil when he confessed, just in case Virgil happened to be looking at his mouth or like Roman’s teeth or happened to kiss him or something, okay, sue him for being a lot-tle bit overprepared. This was important to him! Virgil was important to him. And Virgil deserved his best.

He hopped into his regal prince costume, taking extra care to straighten every detail of his very queer outfit, tugging gently at his sash to get it in just the right place and adjusting the golden details until they caught the light, shining even in the fluorescent bulbs of his bathroom. 

Roman ran a comb through his hair, styling it into his normal princelike regality with his fingers and smiling widely to himself. He looked beautiful, fabulously handsome if he did say so himself- and he did. He met his own eyes reflected in the mirror, and tried to think of what Virgil might think of him when they saw each other. 

He should think of something to say, Roman realized suddenly. He blinked the sudden nervousness out of his wide eyes, inhaling and out, feeling his chest fall and rise again. In for four, he reminded himself, hold for eight, out for seven. Just like Virgil taught him.

Roman met his own eyes in the mirror, going through the calming breathing cycle again. He could do this. Virgil wasn’t even here yet. And Roman would certainly be more prepared for when he was if he practiced at least a little now.

Roman cleared his throat. 

“Hi,” he said, eloquently.

“I-” He started, thinking for a moment. “You–uhm. I- we- we haven’t always gotten along- oh, that’s a bad starter.” He scrunched up his face, thinking. “I’ve invited you to this picnic because I have something important to tell you–no, that’ll make him nervous.” Roman bit his tongue. Maybe it would be better to simply come out and say it?

“Virgil,” he started, gently, keeping his voice steady. “I think I’m in love with you.”

At once, Roman felt a strange sort of discomfort curling in his gut, mixing in with his positive mood like mud into drinking water– that is to say, rather tainting its palatability. He felt nauseous hearing the words out loud, disdainfully wondering why, trying to convince himself it was just nerves. People tend to get nervous about confessing their love, right? That must be why he felt like this.

Maybe he shouldn’t practice this after all. He worked better on the spot, anyways.

He was grateful there were no snakes there to point out his lie. 

Roman set his hand on the door handle and tried to lift his positive mood back into action with thoughts of Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. What could he think about Virgil? Maybe what kind of picnic blanket they could sit on? Would Virgil prefer plaid or solid purple?

Letting the storm be a sort of guiding light, Roman opened his bedroom door just as the alarm to come down for breakfast made a little ding on his phone. He heard music drifting up the stairs and steeled himself, head and shoulders high. 

Just like any performance, he thought to himself. You can do it.

He took his first steps down the stairs, and kept his thoughts set firmly on patchwork picnic blankets.

[rhetoricalrogue]

This year, instead of making a bunch of resolutions all at once and then feeling bad that I dropped the ball on one and quitting the rest because of my usual “if I can’t do it perfectly, why bother” mentality, I’m going to develop one new habit per month. I’m hoping that by this time in December, most of my early monthly habits will be second nature so I can incorporate new habits each month. I’m taking it at a month by month basis, so if I’m struggling with one I’m not rushing to build a new one, because that’s a recipe for failure for me. If I need more time to make sure things stick, I’m going to take it, even if that means that ultimately I only developed one lasting habit this year.

This year’s theme is “what can I do now to help Future Issa out later? How can I make life less stressful for us now and 12 months from now?” Burnout has been an ongoing problem for the past two, three years now and I’m tired of grasping at straws and constantly being exhausted, both physically and mentally. I want to develop habits that will make my life easier in the long run, starting with getting enough rest and making sure my mornings get off to a good start.

So! January’s goal is to develop a realistic morning and nighttime routine so that my mornings aren’t rushed and I get to work on time.

I’ve been on vacation since before Christmas and in that time, I haven’t set any alarms. I usually wake up around 6:00 or 7:00, which means that my body needs roughly 7-8 hours of sleep to function. I’ve also been having regular breakfasts, which have kept me full until noon every day, so I want to keep that going. Luckily, making meal prepping a 2022 habit has carried over, so I think a few tweaks will make this manageable.

The night before, starting after dinner:

Wash dinner dishes

Set up coffee, put automatic timer on for 6 am

Set out coffee cup, spoon, sugar

Set out dishes for breakfast (measuring cup for oatmeal, bowl, spoon, etc)

Set our morning vitamins, glass for water

Things to do 30 minutes before bed:

Take vitamins

Make a cup of tea

Do nighttime skincare/haircare

Set out morning skincare, clothes for work

Shut off all lights except for some lamps

Drink tea, take time to de-stress before bed

In the morning:

Make bed so I’m not tempted to fall back to sleep

Make breakfast, take vitamins

Shower, do morning skincare

Drink coffee, take time to relax and prepare for the day/think about what needs to be done that day

Get dressed, head out to work

I did a practice run this morning since it’s my last day to be on vacation and I had time to slowly wake up. I need to be out the door by 7:30 at the latest in order to be at work and have enough time to start things up/see how my morning is going to go/organize my thoughts before I clock in at 8, so I’m thinking that 6:30 may be my best time to wake up.

My goal is to set things up the night before so that everything is ready and becomes automatic the next morning to help Future Me not have to think about what goes next while I’m still half-asleep. Most of the work is done the night before, and honestly, it’s not even that much. I think it took me maybe 5 minutes max to set everything up and another 15-20 minutes to actually do the wind down before bed portion.

I’m not a big breakfast person, but I’ve spent my vacation experimenting with variations of overnight oats, instant cream of wheat and fruit, microwave breakfast sandwiches, and cereal, so I think I can rotate between those options to keep myself from getting bored and keep me from getting hangry by 10 or 11 at work.

Most of the morning routine is completed within 30-40 minutes, but I want to give myself a full hour to a) enjoy a slow morning without waking up already stressed about the day and b) take the time to mentally prepare myself for the workday with a set plan of tasks that need to be worked on (not necessarily accomplished because Things Happen, but I find that I’m not as frazzled about juggling tasks if I can at least touch on various things daily and adjust which items are more important throughout the week since my job seldomly lets me focus on one thing at a time.)

I think that this can be doable, if today was any indication. I’m also making a side habit to work on that I was already starting last year that helped tremendously with my workload to end the workday by taking the last 10-15 minutes of the day prepping what needed to be finished, either by making a sticky note to myself or by setting up a pile of paperwork in my inbox that was ready to go in the morning for whatever next step was needed. It made things easier to remember where I had left off instead of me flipping through my stack and spending more time each morning setting things up before getting distracted by that day’s tasks and then ultimately getting overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done. It also made a good winding down practice to ease out of Work Mode and get ready for Home Mode by the time 5:00 rolled around.

Will this work? I hope so, but I’m also not going to beat myself up if I skip a day in order to sleep in a half hour longer or if there’s days when I’m not hungry when I wake up. On those days I’ll grab some of the snacks I’ve already stocked my fridge and pantry with to have when I do get hungry later at work. I want to give myself some flexibility to take the time to check in with myself and do what’s best for me this year instead of doing the gogogo all or nothing thinking that I’ve fallen into these past few years that’s made me dislike a job that I otherwise really enjoy and want to grow into something more and pushed myself to the point where I’m not only burning the candle at both ends, but also at multiple points in the middle.

I’ll see where I am at the end of this month. Hopefully I’ll be in a place where my mornings aren’t so rushed and I wake up rested, but if not, then at least I can see what worked and what didn’t to try again in February.

[pbandjesse]

Today was not what I expected at all. It was really good in parts and really not and others but we survived to see another day.

I slept okay here. I was very comfortable. I did not really want to get up. And I woke up at 7:30 when my alarm went off and then reset my alarm for 8:30 and go back sleep. I would wake up a little bit before my alarm went off and it didn't really matter that I had slept in. My first group wasn't supposed to come till 9:45.

So I got washed up and I got dressed. I didn't wear the outfit I have planned but I really liked the outfit I ended up.

Help a little bit better about myself to die. I still feel like my face seems wrong. And I was talking to CJ about it and I think I might be holding my breathing in the wrong spot. Like I'm holding my face incorrectly and pulling my chin in. So I'm going to try to be mindful about that.

I also just think it'll help me breathing.

Because breathing was hard today. There's more wildfire smoke coming down from Canada and we were back in the 170s for air quality. Not as bad as it was a couple weeks ago, but hazy.

I didn't really know if it was going to affect us today because no one communicate than anything to me. I had my yogurt and I walked down to the lodge to get to cartons of milk to replace the ones I had used. And then I came back up here and I started working on my knitting while I waited for my group. I also started reading one of my dear America books that I have.

And then Alexi walks by and she's like are you ready to teach inside today? And I'm like what? Apparently the Y made the call that we need to be inside as much as possible and cancel any programs that are outside. But mine's kind of both so I was a little confused. And she said that I should try to have my group fit at my picnic table in the building. So I had to take as much of my materials outside inside and set up a new still life and set up spaces for the kids to work. Which is fine I just wish someone would have told me earlier. I don't like that I felt like I was finding out on the fly.

And it ended up not mattering anyway because none of my group showed up this morning. I was supposed to have the boys and neither came. That was really upset about that! I felt stupid. I just hate the lack of communication. I just want to know what's going on.

So I started working on my boxes for color wars this weekend. I got paper cut and a different paints collected and brushes and things. I got really frustrated with my big paper roll and I kept threatening to die of things were even a little annoying. I was just really frustrated and just had to find some way to make myself laugh.

While I was working on that Tony came up to ask about helping him turn a pair of pants and shorts but because of the way that the cargo pockets were it would have made them like 4-in inseams and he didn't want hochie daddy shorts. So that was no. And we chatted for a while about how bad the communication has been. And he told me that Jorge wanted to do arts and crafts still even in their group missed it. So I said I would bring some over to the woodlands village.

I came down there with watercolor paint for him and brought some extras in case I need the kids wanted to do it too but they were watching a movie. So I said bye and went back up to my art building to read.

I double check with Cody that we were having the same lunch as normal and then when the time came I went down to the lodge.

Meals were a mess today. Every single meal was chicken nuggets. With some other side. Lunch was chicken with mashed potatoes which were incredibly salty. And vegetarian chicken was very overcooked. Apparently all of the food that was in the fridge spoiled when we lost power and this was the stuff that was still frozen. So it makes sense but it just kind of sucked today.

I enjoyed Celia and Annabelle's company at lunch though and we had some laughs and talked about how we can improve the enclosures for the animals and it was just a nice time.

Eventually I went back up to arts and crafts to chill until they camp was supposed to come. I was told that they were coming and they did. But then there was only five of them. And one of them wasn't even one of their campers they were from day camp one. But it was fine. They were actually a lot of fun. And they worked really hard on their drawings and once they were done their art that I planned they asked to use clay and draw and we were just having a blast up here. And I was really enjoying talking to my co-workers. I let them stay a lot longer than the plan time so I lost my break but I had such a long break in the morning that I didn't actually care. I was just having a good time doing my job.

Once they left I tested CJ to see if tipis was coming but she didn't know. So I sat down to read my book but then all of a sudden they were there. And I wasn't sure what to do with them because the plan had been to have everyone sit inside but there was 14 of them and their teenagers and so they were not all going to fit at the stable. And so we caught Alexa but she didn't have a good answer so I just decided to tell them all to grab watercolors and an object to draw and we would go to the dining hall. And it was not an ideal situation at all but you know what we made it work.

And it was pretty good time overall. The kids worked really hard and they were a lot of fun to talk to and there was some other drama because apparently one of the little girl cabins tried to clean but mixed bleach and ammonia in their bathroom by accident and created mustard gas. And so they had to evacuate their building. And it was just a day. We were really going through it.

Once TV was done they help me bring everything back up to arts and crafts and I gave them some stuff for their award projects that they need to do and then they left me.

I would spend some time reading and eventually Ty and Quan joined me. They sat on my back tables and ate their meal and we just gossiped and talked and it was a lot of fun. They filled me in on some of their feelings about stuff and I got to learn some of the weird things that are going on different villages that I don't always know about. It was very much a field report and that was a lot of fun to do because I haven't done in a while.

Eventually Quan would have to go but before he did we all laid in the hammocks and just chatted and it was a lot of fun. I just really felt connected to other people in a way I haven't yet at camp and that was really really nice. It was funny though because I was telling Ty that our age gap is the same as the age gap between them and the kids. So I see them as children which is why I don't participate in some of the things that they do outside of camp. But while they thought it was very funny they did seem to understand what I meant. And it was just nice to talk to them.

Eventually they would both leave me and a couple of the tipi kids came back to wash my arts and crafts stuff that was donated from Camp Spencer for service hours. So I pulled a chair out front and gave them some scrubby things and a washbin and they worked for about 45 minutes and I read my book while they chatted and told me all their good gossip and weird stories. And it was a lot of fun.

Soon Tony would come by with Ty and they apparently were playing a game that is Camp wide where people are trading objects. Some objects are "worth" more than other things. Black plastic spoons are very rare and will worth a lot. So I happen to have a bunch of those so I handed those off. And other objects are worth more because you can trade based on someone's perceived value. And I have a whole box of weird objects so I let Ty and Tony go through it and they fought over it and ran around the building and it was very silly. But everyone was having a great time and there was lots of laughing. And everyone was like why do you have all this stuff?? And I'm like I don't know I just collect things over time. And some of it was old pieces of dollhouse furniture and collections and things I've come across and been given and I was glad that it was going to some people that would enjoy it even if it was for a silly game.

It ended up being called the trinket game and I decided I wanted it in on it too. So I held back a couple things that I thought were interesting and I gave a couple away to Louisa and to CJ. So that they can participate if they wanted to. Later in the night I found out that Louisa traded the pen I gave her for a battery and then traded that for a mini jenga block which she eventually traded for the god pen which is blue. And she's trying to trade it up for the god egg. I don't know who has the god egg right now but that's high prize. I have not traded anything yet but I will. Maybe tomorrow. I have some really neat little objects that I think I can get even more neat little objects for. And I just need it'll be funny to be part of the ecosystem. The economy if you will.

Dinner was fine. I really liked the roll. They also have very good tater tots. And I set up my table in the back again and CJ and Annabelle joined me and it was fun. It was nice talking to them. And just catching up about the highs and lows of the day. We're all kind of already a little burnt out and it's sucks that that's the position we've been put in when it's only the first week of camp. It's literally felt like a month. I really hope next week feels more normal because this week has been hard.

After dinner I wasn't really sure what was happening. There was a birthday so they sang and there was ice cream sandwiches and then they were talking about flag and honor cabin and Kona ice. And no one really knew what was going on. So I walked back up to the art building to look for more trinkets and then I came back to the lodge and would go with CJ to help collect the mail to go hand out at flag.

And at 5:00 they get honor cabin so that meant I'm going to go get Kona ice before there's a line of children. So I got my snowball and I decided to get pina colada like always but I put a little mango in it for fun. I may or may not do that again. maybe next week I will try a whole new flavor. There's one called tigers blood that I'm interested in.

I wasn't sure if I was going to go to skit night. But I decided to because CJ wanted me to sit with her. And it was long. We were there from 7:30 until 9:30. They really need to put a cap on how long the kids skits can be if they're going to allow them to do skits. Because those first three took a full half an hour. Blanche and her group performed a song. One of her original songs. She played the guitar while the kids song and it was so sweet. And there was a couple shadow boxing rounds and then the tipis did a hilarious inflatable boxing match which was so good. And then some of the girls did skit of counselor impressions but it was like more dynamic than normal so it was really really good. That was probably one of my favorites. They all pretended to be kids coming to ask to go outside in a storm and they would pretend to be a specific counselor and respond the way that that counselor would respond And it was very funny. They really captured the essence.

But it was long and all of us were kind of done by the end. The last one was the oldest boys doing shadow boxing which was fine but two other group sat down the shadow boxing as well so it was a little bit like ugh. And they took like 15 minutes to do their whole sketch because there was a highlight reel pretending that like these two guys were like teammates and then rivals and then they had a falling out and never played again and became coaches and it was a really good storyline but the actual shadow boxing took way too long. I do got to give it to them though Quan had spent $80 to buy a trophy that he had engraved and I just love the commitment to the bit. That is hilarious.

But finally we were done and I came back up to the arts building and wash my face and put on lotion and I feel a lot better. I did have to go back down to the lodge to get my picnic table because I had left it there because someone told me they wanted to use it for their skit but then that did not happen so it's fine. I mostly just wanted to be laying down.

And that is where I am now. I brushed my teeth and I'm charging my phone and I am hoping that tomorrow feels more normal. I have stockade and pioneers and woodlands and some day camp groups and then I get to go home. And I talked to Alexa before I came up here and she said she's not sure what tomorrow is going to look like because of the air quality. It's gotten worse as the day's gone by. But hopefully it continues on the other way and it doesn't get super bad again. Let's hope.

I hope that you all have a great night tonight. I hope that the smoke isn't bothering you. I love you all. Good night!

[torc87]

Exactly. I sleep best btwn 6-10. And however hard I've tried, 2-10 stuck as my natural sleep cycle. I tried meds. I tried therapy. I tried shifting my sleep by 15 min. I tried waking up earlier w a bunch of alarms. No go. I ended up finding a job I could do that for my sleep cycle.

So what happened when I wanted to get my eggs frozen? The blood work and examinations all had to be done before 9 am. As in, I needed to get there by 8:30 at the latest. Every other day. For two weeks. And I said at the start - I can't do this. I know myself, I work till 10 pm regularly, or do overnight shifts that END at 10 am. I am not going to be able to do this, and I am paying an OBSCENE amount of money to do this. If it needs to be done on an empty stomach, I can skip eating. But no, doctor does ongoing examinations at that time. If you miss one, just call and we will see what we can do.

No understanding whatsoever.

So what happened? We let's see. I put up going to an almost no carb diet like they recommended. Sent my mood to hysterical tears or world exploding fury at a drop of a hat. Stressed me to hell. But I did it. This mattered to me. Put up w being poked by needles every two days - I had a phobia of needles before this. Blood draws usually ended w me in tears. Had to get over that. But ok, this matters. Gyno examinations every two days? Oh joy, like most people I'm not exactly fond of that. Did it.

The trying to force myself to get there on time every other morning? And I did ask for the latest appt time.

Drove me to HYSTERICS multiple times. I was late almost every time. I missed a few appts. I was trying my ABSOLUTE hardest. I had a ton of alarms. My family was calling to wake me up. I was late constantly and stressed to tears and exhausted from being short on sleep.

Why did the examination need to be done that early? Any practical reason I couldn't just set up a later appt time? Nope. It's just when the doctor did All the ongoing examinations.

So Ton of extra stress while my body was on a fuckton of hormones already. Exhaustion while my body was being asked to adjust.

Why?

Bc mornings are when we are supposed to do things.

Bc mornings people don't understand that asking me to get somewhere at 8 is like asking a person who usually wakes up at 7 to get somewhere at 5 am. They need to wake up at 3 to have any chance to do it ( an hour for travel, an hour to get ready). How many people would be asked to get up at 3 am for two weeks ( best case scenario. I usually need more than an hour to get ready. So it would be more like 2:30) after they get home at 6:30 for a medical procedure that i was told 'low stress and low physical activity and high rest are important for safety and success'. A procedure that once again, I was paying a fuckton of money for.

Ok wait let her speak

[smalife1234]

This is our Eighth weekly smiles! Please enjoy the read!

What made me smile this week?

Monday, 9/16/24 - today, I woke up around 6:00 Am and then went on the bus on the bus me and. Our friends we're laughing! And then in the first period, we had a substitute like we've been having since Friday! We worked on a tiny worksheet for a while! During the first period, I got our channel semi-remodeled! I made a new channel banner since I thought our channel was missing something! But I got it done and it looks fantastic! Then, in the second period, we got this large packet, but I completed it on the first day and just continued to do work on my laptop 💻! Then, at lunch, I got a salad, but also lunch was a bit hectic! Our friend Nichole started dying of laughter! Because I made a disgusted face towards the banana 🍌 and I didn't expect her to start Dying! But I got scared since I have emetophobia (fear of vomiting), and I just sat there in anticipation of silence as she coughed and practically gagged during the whole fiasco. I randomly gagged twice because of the fear and because of how sort of nasty it was! I swallow the gag, feeling down, and then say throw the milk away! She was laughing, but I kept insisting she throw the milk away. After the whole ordeal, we laughed about it, and thankfully, we're ok after! Again I did not mean to kill my friend. Sorry, so that made us smile and gag! Then, in the third period, we worked on some notes and a worksheet. Then I fourth we worked on several papers that day! Like three of them, then we got home and chilled and got to enjoy/Experience the new world tour that Subway Surfers came out with! It was pretty fun! Then, later on, we started a new catheter schedule for Luz because she had a UTI on the 2nd Day of September! So, it was not fun we set my alarms since she needed to catheterize herself every two hours! Which is a lot of catheters a day! That's like 12 on lucky days! Excluding her other bathroom trips! And if she has a bad day at least 15! Which is baffling to me! During the whole night, she kept waking up and doing two out of four, which is better than nothing! This whole day was hectic, busy, and funny, but it surely did make us smile!

Tuesday, 9/17/24 - today, we woke up at 7:00 Am, which is the latest time we've ever woke up! But we got dressed and discussed their catheters even more! Then we went on the bus where it was very rainy! And gloom out! In the first period, two people were working on the air conditioning in Mrs. Brady's, and it tends to get very hot! In her room, they were turning the air conditioner off and on again, and during that process, we had a lockdown drill. After the whole lockdown process, they dropped three tools from the ceiling, and it scared me! LOL, then I changed my wonderful keyboard to me, and I have to say I'm digging it! It looks nicer and I've already typed many things using this keyboard! Then, in the second period, Luz ate a strawberry pop tart and a honey gram cracker. I started on the rest of my notes and then we got another worksheet! But I do know that there is a half day tomorrow woo hoo! Yay Wednesday! And that's on my chemotherapy day so it's just asking to be a good day! Currently, I'm done working on my notes but working on another set, and we'll finish that worksheet Tonight or tomorrow! Then, in the third period, we worked on some notes and presented our papers and what we learned! Then, in the fourth period, we finished some papers and then did a walking around activity for the last 30 minutes of class. Then, on the bus, someone was apparently eating, so we stayed for a few minutes behind, and then Mrs. Roberts came on the bus and talked to all the students and discussed that if we ate on the bus, we would be taken off the bus! So that was a little bit scary! But we're enjoying the bus ride home talking about different things :)

Wednesday, 9/18/24 - today was a half day whoo hoo! So we only have 4 hours of college instead of 8! So that was fun. In the first period, we did a small review paper that the substitute gave us while Mrs cox was away! I gave him 1.2, but I think he lost it, and I had to do it again. I answered the reviews, and most of them weren’t difficult. I got that done and turned it in, and then I chilled for the rest of class and worked on the descriptions for YouTube second period. We had a worksheet, and I got that done and some notes, done, but for the most part, I just chilled! Then I learned some news from the substitute! That it's National Cheeseburger Day! I didn't know that so happy national cheeseburger 🍔 Day! In the third period, we worked on notes, but Mrs. Breseler was having a lifetime of a struggle getting technology to work. It eventually ended up working, and we just got some notes done and then folded a paper. I can't remember what it was called. But it made me laugh as I was confused lol. Then, in the fourth period, we tried some in-chair yoga. It was incredibly hilarious, and it made us smile and laugh. We did some papers and a web quest, which I almost completed! But it's ok! But we chilled, and at home, we finally found my ring 💍! Yay, don't worry. It got lost yesterday after we had done the dishes, but our mom found it and placed it somewhere safe! So hooray it's found! Then I exported and worked on my wedding video and got it uploaded and it's scheduled!! I cannot wait for y'all to see it! One edit: while they were during their bath, I watched, and it made me a tad bit emotional! So I don't know how that will affect me! On my wedding day, I will know that those tears will be happy tears 🥹! Love you Emmie ❤️! But I chilled most of that night and showed my friend Emmie some funny reels that made me die of laughter! Today was hectic but it made me smile!

Thursday, 9/19/24 - today is a normal day, sadly, but that's ok! Today during the first period, we did a Kahoot, and I got first place! I got some of them wrong but that's ok! Then we worked on any missing or uncompleted assignments! Then, in the second period, I got a second chance at breakfast and got a blueberry muffin and some honey gram crackers! Which we're actually very good! Then we worked on a Bohrn structure sheet for the different types of elements on the periodic table! I got the models done and got most of the notes done. I just need to cut them out and finish the sheet! Which I'm really close to doing! So I got a lot of work done! Then, at lunch, my awesome friend Nichole bought me a bag of sweet, spicy chili Doritos from the vending machine! I thank her for that! Plus, there are my favorite chips! Then in the third period, we did a website/ review sheet and folded another bindle paper used for small evidence. As I was laughing at how I couldn't fold it, another girl smiled at me, and it made me smile! Then, in fourth, we worked on the rest of the web quest, did some notes, and worked on brain games! Then on the bus, my friends told me how good the day was! And then, on the way home, we saw a floating leaf that kept spinning. It was enjoyable to watch, and it made me smile. Now we're currently chilling! Then we got a yummy salad from Mom, but for me, it had too much pepper, so I put it up for grabs! Don't wanna waste food! Then we chilled, did a workout, and I overheated, which sucks. I should've used the spray bottle or my fan, but it was my fault, lol! Then we went to bed! Today made me smile!

Friday, 9/20/24 - this morning, I was so tired and could barely keep my eyes open, so as they were getting dressed, I slept a little while longer! Then I got dressed, and we just did a workout, which woke me up pretty well. Then, on the way to our bus, we saw our cat Charlie being a big ol loaf. It was way too cute! We just had to take a picture! But at the bus stop, we saw the moon, which is something we saw over 9 months ago, which is weird/cool! I took several pictures at the bus stop and the bus! I had a thrill looking at all the pretty sights! In the first period, we have a test! Hopefully, I do well! Sadly, I did not do well and got a 53 on the test! But for right now, I just got to chill for the rest of the first period! Then in second period we worked on another worksheet! And thankfully I got it done! Just in time and then I worked on cutting out Bohr models! I got that completely finished! And then our friend Nichole gave us the news that she got her Job!! I am super proud of her! Then in third period we watched a YouTube documentary on Jon Benet Ramsey! A six-year-old tragically Murdered, and the case has never been solved for 2+ decades. It was bone-chilling to hear everything that had happened! Then, in the fourth period, we worked on some notes and kept laughing that day! Then we went home and enjoyed the rest of our day knowing it was the weekends!

Saturday, 9/21/24 - today, I woke up around six AM, and then we chilled most of the morning until our mom called us, and we had to work for an hour! But we soon got it all done! And her area looks a lot better! Then we chilled and hung out until 5 pm, that's when our friend called us and said that she was coming over! It was unexpected, but it was fine with our parents! So we hung out until 8:00 Pm! Maybe even 9! It was a fun crazy hangout! But it also resulted in injury! Our Nichole did a trust fall, not knowing he was not behind her. She fell and hit her hand! Causing her to need a bandaid! And she almost cried! Obviously, I did not film it, but I did comfort her, and my wife made her laugh! Then we listened to booming music at 42 volume!! It was crazy loud! We have that in our vlog! And Emmie's Quadriplegic celebration video reminds me it's my wife's 7-month celebration 🎊 🎉!! I am super proud of you baba ❤️! After that, we chill for a while! And I needed to use my spray bottle since I overheated that night but thankfully wasn't doing as bad as Luz and Donny! They felt nauseous and almost fainted! God forbid we go into a truck without having a rough night 😂! But thankfully, everyone is doing ok, and today made me smile!

Sunday, 9/22/24 - today I woke up pretty late from the long time we stayed up! Last night lol but I started my 46th round of chemotherapy at 10 am and should end my chemo session around 7 pm! To get to the main point of today we're going to our grandma's house! For a fun Sunday family dinner 🍽️! Before Grandma's, we watched videos, and I typed Saturday's entry! I ate a bowl of ramen, and that was it so far. Lol before I got to Grandma, we filmed some content and then headed out the door. Currently, we're driving and enjoying the beautiful sky! But sadly I overheated as my nose was running and I felt so hot! But don't worry I'm ok! I keep feeling waves of heat help. But I thankfully got over it! Then we listened to Grandfather talk about football 🏈 lol! Then we had a delicious dinner of chili and yummy salad 🥗! It was very good and I enjoyed it very much! Then me and Nancy talked for a while until we had yummy brownies with nuts and vanilla ice cream! It was very good, and we had a fun time currently. I've been done with chemotherapy for 14 minutes (it's 7:14 Pm). We eventually said goodbye after a wonderful stay, and then we drove home. On the drive home, I saw some more beautiful sunsets! I enjoy that so that certainly made me smile! Today was but a blur and fun! Sadly, we have to go back to school tomorrow, but we'll get through it! But today was great and it made me smile! Now for the most important question ⁉️

What made you smile this week?

Img desc #1: the beautiful sky is shown as the sun is setting. There are trees and houses very darkened mainly focusing on the pretty sky! The photo is not edited.

Img desc #2: doc is seen on a Cruise. She is seen smiling in her electric wheelchair as she has a red strap on her forehead. Doc is seen wearing a pink short-sleeved shirt and beige-colored sweatpants.

Img desc #3: Emmie is seen smiling in a dark room while wearing a white long-sleeved shirt and a black blazer she is seen with her hair combed.

Img desc #4: Emmie is seen in a bathroom mirror she is near a white sink wearing a white long sleeved buttoned up shirt and a black blazer over her white shirt she is wearing grey colored jeans paired with a black belt. Or the buckle of her electric wheelchair her wrist are resting on the arm rest of her electric wheelchair.

Img desc #5: doc is seen up very high! She is seen smiling while wearing a hat and a green short sleeved shirt and beige colored shorts her Atrophied hands are resting on her lap she is giving a wide smile to the camera.

Img desc #6: doc and Emmie are seen in a group photo doc seen on the left is seen smiling while wearing a hat and a green short sleeved shirt and beige colored shorts and white shoes she is seen in her electric wheelchair. Emmie seen right of the image is seen smiling while in her electric wheelchair while wearing a white short sleeved shirt and light colored shirt and white shoes Emmies arms are seen resting on a service dog and her arm rest. They are having a fun time!

Img desc #7: doc's and Emmie's grandma and grandfather are seen in a photo when they were younger. Grandma is seen resting on the chest of Grandfather. She is seen smiling while her hair is neatly combed and fixed. She is wearing a red shirt and a Dr coat as she was a nurse back then. They are near a bookshelf. Grandfather is seen with Grandma on his chest. He is seen smiling while wearing brown squared glasses. His hair is combed neatly, and he is wearing a white shirt. The picture is framed and put up on the wall.

Img desc #8: shows Doc's chili they had at grandma's house! With a salad nearby the chili is in a white bowl and on a table. The food was delicious!

Img desc #9: shows the moon in the sky that very morning at the bus stop! The moon is seen Looking very pretty!

Img desc #10: shows docs breakfast that morning with honey grams and blueberry muffin with milk on a grey table. The blueberry muffin was delicious!

[theindietrumpeter]

Routine, Regimen or Ritual?

They all mean the same thing but they also mean different things to each of us. Routine: something we do regularly but flexibly - warm-up, long tones, flexibility exercises for example but we might use different books or exercises depending on how we feel. Regimen: feels a lot stricter, the word itself feels very militaristic - 0900 Lip Buzzing, 0902 Vizzutti Mouthpiece Buzzing, 0905 Frink Integrated Warm Up part 1 and so on. Ritual, however, feels far more spiritual, more reverential, more time-honoured.

We all have our routines, regimens or rituals in our practice sessions which we’ve either spent months or years honing or we’ve taken from our favourite book or we’ve been given by our teacher. For a number of years I had a ‘Therapeutic Daily Routine’ put together for me by Noel Langley, my teacher at the time. I also, after a lesson with Roger Ingram, use a pre-warm up stretching and buzzing routine that he gave me. I still use both now and again but not religiously.

I may talk about my practice routine (although one could argue it’s not practice if it’s a routine) in a later post but it won’t be today. This post is going to focus on routine outside playing, daily routines, that help keep us on the right path… we all have them, even if we don’t realise it, and I bet most of us feel a little bit ‘out of sorts’ if we don’t perform it.

I’m going to spend the next part of this post talking about what my routine is, how it came into being and what benefits it has for me:

I set two alarms 10 minutes apart but I don’t snooze either of them. That 10 minutes is where I roll over and (I’m not ashamed to admit it) I cuddle Mrs J. We don’t see each other a lot in the day so it’s a few minutes of connection - even if she’s still asleep.

The very first thing I do after getting out of bed is to go down the two flights of stairs to the kitchen, warm up Little Miss J’s milk and head into the garden to do some simple breathing exercises. I normally inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, exhale through the mouth for 6 seconds although I’ll sometimes inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8. I find the fresh air and controlled breathing are great for my mental health (more on that later) and they start to build my energy levels up. It can also be quite invigorating if it’s raining!

Next, I complete my Duolingo daily quests - all three of them - to start engaging my brain. At this point it’s not do much about learning French specifically but about using language learning to improve my cognitive skills.

Following Duo, I use the ‘Balance’ app for guided meditation. It might be 10 minutes, it might only be 5, but it’s always there, focussing on positivity, loving-kindness or self-esteem depending on where my head is at that day.

Once I’ve woken my head up, it’s time to move on to waking up my body. After meditation I’ll jump in the bath. Sometimes I will have a really hot bath (benefits include improved circulation, enhanced mood and enhanced flexibility) and sometimes I’ll ‘Wim Hof’ it and have a cold (not quite ice yet) bath - I’m doing cold every single day of July - as this can improve mood, increase energy levels and increase focus and concentration.

Moving on, I do a series of stretches (I’ll outline these in a follow up post) followed by a 60 second plank and 30 squats to work on my core strength and maybe burn a few extra calories. My morning ritual concludes with a breakfast of at least four fruits (normally strawberries, grapes, apple and tangerine), some yoghurt - often with granola- and a mug of freshly ground black coffee (see my stunning photography below)

This ritual came into being while I was on Shared Parental Leave with Little Miss J and developed over the months into its current state. It was originally to help me to lose a bit of weight - or at least not put it on - and generally improve my health. I’ve adapted it to fit around work too. It’s really come into its own recently after I was diagnosed with depression - sometimes just getting through my ritual can stop a low mood in its tracks which can make a massive difference to my day, especially if I’m in the classroom.

Whatever your routine, regimen or ritual is, it will have its benefits for you even if you’ve never stopped to think about it. Perhaps that’s something you should explore…

While my routine isn’t centred around playing, it certainly impacts my playing - from building my core strength and helping my lungs to being focussed on what I’m practicing, performing or teaching - and there is a lot of value in that.

[purplesurveys]

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Who’s the first person you can think of that has curly hair? Someone I went to grade school with, which is interesting to me because she hasn't had curly hair since we were 9. She stands out to me though because I remember asking her how her hair got to be curly, and she told me she was part-Aeta. I thought that was very fascinating to learn and since then I've always remembered her as once having curly hair (even though she had it straightened for good the year after).

What is something about the opposite sex that you don’t understand?  I don't think there is any one thing, but most guys I've talked to or worked with have been very nonchalant; almost to the point of looking like they don't give a shit about what I or anyone else tells them haha. I never get used to it and always get taken aback by the unenthusiastic reactions to everything.

Have you done anything stupid recently?  Good question. I don't think so.

Do you struggle to talk about your feelings?  Not for the most part, but it also depends on the person. I don't open up to my parents easily, for example.

Out of all your friends, which one is the quietest? That will probably be me.

And which one is the loudest?  I'm not sure. All my friends seem reserved now that we're a little bit older haha. Maybe Andi? Lui and Kate to, I suppose.

Think about the last time you were angry; what was the reason? My mom was changing the program flow that I orchestrated for our grandparents' surprise party – on the goddamn fly. Every single segment had some sort of change to it that the host and I had to pivot toward as each was happening. Sooooo frustrating and I had to resort to PR director mode to manage her and tell her she can't keep doing that to every fucking part because everything was already set up such that the program would flow seamlessly.

Is your mascara waterproof? I do not use mascara.

Are you going out tonight?  NO THANKS

The person from your past who hurt you the most is standing right in front of you. What do you want to say?  How have you been?

Imagine that you don’t hear from your best friend for two weeks. You don’t see him/her at all, and he/she doesn’t answer any calls, texts, Facebook messages etc. You go round to his/her house, but no-one answers. What do you do?  I'd ask her boyfriend and parents.

Which do you like best - your hair or your eyes?  Eyes.

Did you watch Scooby Doo when you were a kid?  I didn't, but I played a Scooby Doo video game.

Is there anyone you know you definitely CANNOT trust?  Yes.

Have you ever imagined what your wedding might be like?  At some point. But I've stopped thinking about it for nearly half a decade now.

What is something that people often call you, other than your name?  Nope.

Are your sleeping patterns messed up? It kind of is and it's so frustrating haha. I need to sleep earlier for a while because I've been waking up at 8:45 AM these days...which is super inconvenient considering I start work at 9. I used to wake up at 7:30 sharp, alarm or no alarm, and I need my body clock to go back to that practice

Who is the most intelligent person you know?  Hans or Andi.

What should a member of the opposite sex do if they want to get your attention, or impress you? Doesn't depend on the sex lol, but I appreciate someone who's smart and can contribute a lot to a conversation.

Are you a happy person these days? Why/why not?  I've had a dip recently because my imposter syndrome has been getting in the way of work and I always feel like there is a target behind my back. Apart from work – happy as can be. I wish I can for once be smooth-sailing in my professional life lol.

Have you had an argument with the opposite sex recently? Nah.

Do you like sushi?  Love sushi and can eat it everyday.

Do you ever tweet the celebs? And has a celeb ever tweeted you?  Nobody that's like a mega celeb like Ariana Grande or whoever. I've gotten tons of interactions from wrestlers, though, that I stopped listing them down.

What were you doing 15 mins ago? This. I'm taking forever to finish because I have distractions in between hahaha – eating my doughnut, watching Run BTS, checking Instagram...

Do you tend to trust people easily, or do you try to be careful about who you trust?  I'm careful.

Have you ever talked about someone behind their back?  Yes, both nicely and not-so-nicely.

Have you ever seen photos of your parents when they were young? Yes. They have tons.

Do you think it’s sweet when you see couples kissing in public, or does it make you feel uncomfortable?  It's fine with me but nothing too gross/explicit plz.

What are you doing later? I wanna do more of these but I also want to play a bit of RhyHi.