#got myself into a situationship on accident

[therandomtoad]

Grieving the loss of a relationship I never had ✌️😔

[anashins]

i love the snow in london fic! I didn't see the plot twist coming haha.

Also may i request a jeno-jaehyun-reader love triangle? :)

Pairing: Jeno x Reader x Jaehyun

Genre: angst, romance

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Jeno will always pick up the phone when you call. In every lifetime, in every universe, he will pick up.

A/N: Thanks for liking my story and for requesting! This is based on a real life conversation I had with my summer-situationship lol We are stronger than this, girlies!

“Why are you calling me?’”

“Why are you picking up?”

“I will always pick up when you call,” you heard Jeno say over the phone. “You know that.”

Turning your head against the night sky, you - once again - realized how lucky you actually were. You had a boyfriend of two years who loved you very much, you had moved into your first apartment with him and marriage was in the talks between you.

You should be entirely happy.

But you weren’t.

As you were standing on your balcony at 3 am, you realized that the man who was sleeping peacefully in the bedroom and the man you were calling because you missed him so much weren’t the same person.

“You texted me first a few days ago.” It shouldn’t sound like an accusation, so you quickly added, “And ever since then, I’ve been thinking of you again.”

“Again?” A chuckle followed that made you smile secretly. “Oh honey, you can’t tell me you haven’t been thinking of me at all. I bet you have even kept my pictures in your phone, looking at them every now and then while your boyfriend is sleeping soundly next to you.”

You hated how cocky he sounded. And how right he was. In your secret folder, you had kept all the memories you had made with Jeno in the short period you had been together. 

Could you even call it ‘being together’? You had spent a great summer together, having fallen in love so quickly and deeply like never before in your life. You had thought that this was it, that your feelings were finally reciprocated and you got the fairytale-like happy ending you had always dreamed of.

The fairytale had quickly turned into a nightmare the moment he had claimed to love you too, but not wanting to be with you, because he couldn’t see himself being in a relationship, leaving you heartbroken like never before in your life over a man who you had only known for three months.

How come letting go of a situationship was so much harder than letting go of a long term relationship?

“Don’t say that,” you chided.

“I said that because I’m doing that too, you know. Our memories are my most beloved possession.” 

His voice was softer now, almost as though he was sharing a secret, and you wondered what his face looked like at this very moment. Somehow, you had a very hard time imagining it. It had been so long.

“And yet, you still haven’t chosen to be with me.” This time, the harshness in your voice was real and there was nothing to conceal about it. “And you still wouldn’t.”

“You wouldn’t be happy with me, you know that.” He sounded consoling, but there was nothing to console. The tears that you caught with your fingertips on your cheek by accident were tears of anger mostly. “I’m happy that you have found someone who can offer you everything you have ever wanted in a relationship, because you deserve all that. I can’t be this person.”

“I know.” Your heart hurt so much again, it was like you got catapulted back in time and experienced the heartbreak of his rejection all over again. “But sometimes, I cannot stop wondering to ask myself ‘what if’… Do you think in another lifetime or in another universe, we are actually happy together?”

“In another lifetime or universe, we would be happy together, I’m sure about that.”

“Yeah.”

In a lifetime or universe that didn’t include his traumatic past and you wanting to fix what couldn’t be fixed. In a lifetime or universe that didn’t include you asking for much and he not being able to even give the bare minimum. In a lifetime or universe where you were both healed and not only happy together, but also individually.

"But in every lifetime and universe, I will pick up when you call."

You took a deep breather, wiped the last tear from your cheek and said, “You can delete my number for good now, Jeno. It’s time to fully let go.”

And Jeno responded willingly, without hesitation, “Okay.”

-

In the arms of Jaehyun, you had always felt the safest. He was the one for you, you knew that for sure. Even if your mind wandered, your heart never did. 

You just wished your feelings were just as stable and didn’t waver as easily, that they wouldn’t doubt you or get confused so easily when your thoughts grew big and toxic. As long as they knew their base though, you assumed you were going to be fine in the end. 

You were only a human too, after all. 

When you returned to bed and cuddled up to Jaehyun, he directly slung his arms around you and pressed a kiss on your temple.

With a sleepy voice, he asked, “Where were you?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

He pulled you close to him, one arm serving as a pillow for you and the other touching your stomach.

“My friends all say you’re so good for me. You make me feel like I should feel. That you’re the one for me, because your love is true. Is it? Do you think so too?”

It tickled in the nape of your neck when he chuckled. “Every now and then, you still have these doubts?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever be sorry. Because no matter how many times you doubt it, I will prove it to you over and over again. In every lifetime and in every universe, I will prove it to you.”

You slid your hand into his one that was close to your stomach, intertwining your fingers. “Yeah, me too.”

Except for the fact that there was one lifetime, one universe in which there was someone else you would have chosen. But you kept it to yourself and settled contently with the thought that a ‘you’ in the other reality with Jeno already existed and was just as happy as the you lying in Jaehyun’s arms now.

But you didn’t delete his number.

In case that in this lifetime and universe, you had to call him.

[kiooikzz]

Haikyuu characters attempting to get over a long time crush/situationship because I already experienced this.

-Oikawa loves to brag about how he’s moved on and how much better off he is without an anchor tying him down, but, when he’s alone he makes those sad TikTok’s about “the one that got away” (they never dated and he was ghosted) and cries to sleep.

-Tsukishima is slightly (extremely) embarrassed that he even liked that person for so long and is coming to his senses about how much he talked about them to Akiteru and Yamaguchi by accident and it haunts him everyday. Other than that, he is totally jealous every time that person he’s “over” with is with someone else.

-Kageyama didn’t even realised he liked that specific person until he was ghosted because of the lack of moves he made on them. He had a bad temper for about a week before all those pep talks Hinata gave him throughout that entire week got to his head and he was straight on about Volleyball again.

-Atsumu was the one who initiated the situationship and also the one who broke it off. Tons of girls hear the same line,“I’m working on myself right now, it’s not you, it’s me.” He does it just to feel something. It had no impact on him but the girls complain to Osamu about it and he gives Atsumu a beating later.

-Kuroo is genuinely confused on why they weren’t on speaking terms because he was such a 2000’s romcom lover boy and he ended up being rejected. He tried to toughen up and learn from that experience until it happened again and he sulked in his room for a month. (Found out he was being used for homework and cried even more.) (Also found out the two girls talked behind his back about his hair.)

-Tanaka’s ego is hurt after seeing his crush with another dude, but, he slowly comes to the realisation that he didn’t actually like that girl, he just made up a vision of her in his mind that seemed oddly familiar with him and that’s why he liked her. (A certain blue-haired, glasses user perhaps?)

-Osamu and Atsumu liked the same person. The person reciprocated feelings for Atsumu and as much as Osamu hated it, there was nothing he could do. Whenever he saw them interact, he would go to his room and try and toughen up. (Resulted in tears.) He and Atsumu told each other they liked that person and they became a little competitive, later straining their relationship a bit. Osamu makes up a little white lie that results in Atsumu ghosting the person, which gives Osamu a chance right? Wrong. Osamu got over that person after a week of not seeing them and that’s when he knew he didn’t like the person, but he liked the idea of them and he ruined Atsumu’s chances with them, he’s still guilty to this day. (Atsumu was actually on the same page as Osamu and only liked the attention he was receiving.)

There were more characters I wanted to include but NO. I’m not bothered. Anyways, first post! I hope you liked it. 💪🏼🤩

[akc-g]

anyways i think im officially not gonna get myself to do this so ill reveal info on that vkjc au i was gonna make a longfic abt the one for these vkjcs

i posted a few times abt how i loved the idea of leagueverse n arcaneverse being consecutive timelines in the way each reboot of devilman is The Next Universe ryo n akira are destinated to ruin. so the idea was there were 3 main verses n then mentions n occassional chapters abt others so it was infinity of timelines stacked on top each other of viktor n jayce meeting n viktor fucking it up beyond repair and being doomed to only realize when it was too late or she was abt to die.

the main verse it followed was gonna be the au i frequently draw above: vague 2010s modern day where a meteor was coming to take the world out and viktor n jayce were trying to rebuild blitzcrank after abandoning the project in college yrs prior. viktors deal was in college they had the usual situationship w jayce n then got into a horrible car accident that caused them to have a near-death vision of other viktors trying to warn them to not fuck this up. n it freaked them out so bad they completely ghosted jayce for a few yrs so he ended up thinking they just. died.

idm spoiling beats even if i somehow come back to it but the arc was gonna be that viktor was using both the meteor n blitzcrank to reconnect bc they felt guilty abt everything. n then jayce n vik slowly falling back in love jn the process n the ultimate test of if viktor could actually change as a person was that the meteor managed to be subverted n they had to still be willing to be vulnerable with jayce even if death wasnt looming over them. the end was gonna be v open bc itd imply the timelines didnt stop but that they had the chance to no longer be out of viktors hands.

the other beat was that this was happening at all bc viktor in one leagueverse was the sole survivor of this final battle between zaun n piltover n a Great God found it amusing how they were STILL sulking over jayce n pretending they werent they decided to have fun n make them self aware of timelines n in this doomed situation.

i qrote a few chapters idk if theyre too long for screenshots but ill rb w tyem lol

[misc-obeyme]

(NSFW)

Hello hello and long time no see From a quick look (who am I kidding Im here every day) at all the asks your ask box is a confession booth/secret cc crush club/harem kind of situationship lol and I love it! Can I confess something unrelated to obey me If not keep it off the blog, up to you!! I prefer men but can find some women very attractive One day at a job I met a friend I only talked online with, she dated only men as far as I knew and is a very beautiful model After a quick chat with me she left, looking a bit blushed or something Few months later she came back and was very flustered I asked what is going on, she said there are many changed in her life and didn't tell me more From a quick view through her FB she started dating women? Few days later, came by again, flustered again, and gave me her phone number, saying that if I ever want to get in touch its her personal Clueless me Thought she just wanted help in relation to my work Never got in touch with her Took me few months to understand that I might have helped her uncover what she really is into lol After about a year I met her accidently somewhere and she was still super flustered and blushy and I was still ??? I mean I'm not doing anything special aint even flirting And every time I think about it I feel like I am boasting myself -🐆

Oh yeah she was crushing on you HARD!!

Honestly that's so cute though?? Like I promise I would not pick it up if someone was being blushy around me. But it sounds so adorable!! I hope she is happier knowing this truth about herself!!

Anyway, I'm totally okay with non Obey Me related confessions. I loved this story, so thank you for sharing!

As for me, there is... NO HAREM. But I'll allow a crush club... though I think situationship is a good word for it too lol. I'm in a situationship with the anons in my ask box?!? Hmmm.

[un-lawliet]

i have such bad hangxiety rn and u always post about being drunk lmao pls, only if ur comfortable, share ur worst experience to make me feel better (i need it)

LMAOOOO NOT THE “always post about being drunk”

but don’t worry ! i got u :) PREPARE urself

i professed my undying love to this boy outside a bar once… he was fully sober and i was lying on the ground.. i lost so much respect for myself there (i never spoke to him again)

um i once fell UP this metal staircase in a night club and thought i broke my leg and like seven people lifted me from the ground and let me tell u smth- EVEEYONE side eyed me- the bruise was massive tho

asked my ex gf to kiss me at a halloween party, and she just looked at me like i was crazy before walking away (i would have done the same thing)

I KISSED MY EX SITUATIONSHIP IN THE EAR BY ACCIDENT and cried outside the nightclub with the bouncer cause i was so embarrassed- anyway i went back in aand he was with another girl making out (i can’t even be upset bc WHO KISSES AN EAR BY ACCIDENT???)

^^^ last month i was stranded at a train station, drunk, and texted the SAME ex situationship -AFTER ALMOST A YEAR OF NOT SPEAKING TO HIM- and asked if he could take me home AND HE DID ???? and he brought up the ear incident and i was like “bro that never happened” while he laughed in my face. THESE TEXT MESSAGES HAUNT ME

i got a lip tattoo saying “cunt” last week when i was drunk and literally forgot about when i woke up ??

and my worst moment ever !

i passed out beside the toilet in this random girls hotel after she found me outside by myself, throwing up, and brought me in to help me- when i woke up the next morning i was on the bathroom floor curled up in a ball STILL DRUNK and i BOOKED it out of the hotel, without my shoes and my phone bc i panicked !!! it was 6am and my hotel was a half hour walk and bc it was spain and i was BAREFOOT i got the worst heat blisters on my feet. (i had to send my friend to collect my phone and shoes bc i was so embarrassed)

i have more but i actually am dying just by the memory of all this shit so i’m gonna stop now but i PROMISE U ur hangxiety will improve !!! just sleep <3

[heartlessromantic18]

I have a story. Of anguish and heartbreak that I've never told anyone. And I need to tell someone, because I can't get a second of peace. Here goes nothing...

A little over a year ago, I met a girl through mutual friends. She was two years younger than me but seemed like the only other person who was sentient in our friend group. We became fast friends and started to hangout more and more. At some point, I found out she liked me. Despite the fact that she had a boyfriend. We had this weird situationship for about 6 months. A month into it, she broke up on with her boyfriend. After those months, she asked me out and I said yes. We dated for 4 months when she dumped me after I got into a bad car accident that left me without a car for a while. We never really actually laid down rules for our breakup. But I wasn't allowed to call her baby or kiss her. Unless we were drunk and behind closed doors, which happened a lot. As this weird gray area continues, I have the shitty realization of finding out she had been talking to her ex since we broke up. She told me it didn't mean anything. That was a lie. She told me she didn't want to be in a relationship. That was a lie. Because she can't lie to me. Whenever I have a gut feeling about her, it's always right. So my overthinking is never actually overthinking, it's just fact. Over the next couple months, she continues to cancel on me and hang out with him more. (BTW me and her were best friends throughout this).

In our relationship, we were both really protective of each other. So as she's falling back in love with the guy she broke up with to be with me, I'm sitting here losing my mind. It's been around 5-6 months since I found out she's talking to her ex and I haven't had one peaceful thought since. I know that sounds dramatic but it's completely true. Every single second of every single day, I am obsessing over their relationship. And I need to stop because I am breaking but I don't know what to do.

My best friend and I used to hangout every day. Now she hangs out with him more than me. Smiles and giggles every time his name pops up on her phone. His contact pinned on her phone. It's useless, I'm not going to change her mind. But I can't even let go of her because every time I think about leaving, she kisses me and tells me I'm the best. And I spend almost every day attempting to impress her, but it's pointless because she doesn't want me anymore. Yet she won't let go. And I refuse to bring it up to her because I don't want to lose the small intimate moments that I still have access to. I have said to many people that I think her ex is making a mistake going back to her because she's a heartbreaker and she's already cheated on him four times in the 3 separate times they've dated.

So because I'm pathetic and refuse to do anything good for myself, any time she goes out with her ex, I get to stare about the ceiling and feel nauseous. I hate her ex, my blood boils. I haven't had a peaceful thought in 6 months. And I guess I'm just not sure if it's worth sticking around anymore.

And I want to move on but I still feel guilty thinking about someone else. Especially when she finds out and ignores me as I try to explain myself. She's probably just as unready as I am to let go. But what else is there to do at this point?

[verslxt]

Oliver Moy Headcanons

Hi <3, sorry for my last one taking so so so so long, this one won't take as long hopefully, but enjoy some oliver moy headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

good lord does this boy snore

the first time you got introduced to the stars was a complete accident

i've bet you've seen how they bust into poor oliver's room like it's nothing, poor baby

they don't do that anymore needless to say

you and oli were in a very hot and heavy make out session. you two didn't even hear the door bust open, prob because you two had into you by ariana grande blasting

till you all you two heard was a "DAMN OLIVER"

poor sebastian and darren

you and oliver jumped away from eachother. omg this poor boy

you hid your face into a pillow, needless to say they let you collect yourself and have oliver actually introduce you PROPERLY

"hi i'm y/n l/n and i'm oliver moys situationship" you said it with a smile

"ahp wrong, your mine!"

"hi i'm y/n l/n and i'm oliver moy's girlfriend"

everyone knew you, cause your from the hype house. after that everyone actually loved you. everyone left comments on nsb videos

wheres y/n

i want more y/n content

you are actually one of the north star girls with char darrens 'girl best friend', jackie regies gf (kane's video, regies 22nd birthday), gela sebastians 'girl bestfriend' cmon man everyone knows their dating

you and oliver just like to dip out of videos to go and get boba

this boy thinks you are an absolute goddess. worships each and every part of you.

"i love you"

"i love you too oli"

"ur so prettyyy"

""oli are you drunk?"

"haha nooo"

oliver was drunk.

the way oliver pulls you in for kisses 💳💥💳💥💳💥

poor baby has to pop your back every time you say your back hurts. like you don't even ask him to, he just does it

the music y'all listen to in the car 😭 omg its so weird

one minute y'all could go from super bass by nicki minaj then to collide by justine skye then to daddy issues by the neighborhood.

lord this boy in general 💳💥💳💥💳

he’s so responsible and respectful

his laugh 💥💳💥💳💥💳💥

if your ticklish boy does this boy tickle the hell out of you

“hey y/n”

“yes oli”

“did you drink my celsius?”

“no” you full and well drank that bitch

“are you sure”

“yes”

he tickled you and you came clean “yes! i drank it oli stop tickling me before i piss myself”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ heyyyy, hopefully you liked these. all of these are my ideas, so if you take you give credit ☺️. thank youuu. peace homies 🤭

[ficauthor]

Im watching gravity falls for the first time but i have some knowledge. (ie im reckless and look at tags knowing there is spoilers lol)

I know there are two grunkles both possibly named some variation of stan. One with six fingers and that one fucked a triangle. i also tjink theyre exes? Or like theres a book that says they are. Either way ?

I know theres books and the other stan(?) wrote them? There is... A portal? And it somehow facilitated the situationship betwixt man and angle.

Bearded man also fucked stans twin? the picture i have of stan 2 the squeakwel is just of a messy messy man who has alot to clean up from his ho era.

I also know that things are about to go very very wrong. It hasnt yet cause im only up to fight fighters but like i feel in my bones something more than the 8.5th president is going to occure

anyways I've had thoughts.

One: robbie is fucking hilarious. Hes 15 deeply deeply insecure and beefing with a Twelve yearold. Like you won. You got wendy to say yes to a date theres negative reason to challenge a child to a fight. Hilarious cant wait for him to lay awake at night and cringe at that memory. especially bc dipper giving her a black eye was his wingmanning! Funny dude cant wait to see what happens with his disaster of an ass. (also during the time travel ep i was like damn robbie can suck a little but hes not that bad. Timing was strange but him asking out wendy was kinda sweet. Then fight fighters happened lol. Man is so wrapped up in making a child feel bad he ignored his gf. Terrible give me five more.)

Two: holy shit the wax figure thing mustve been so upsetting for grunkle stan. Like he shrieked upon seeing it! He crawled away backwards. I might be reading to far into that but he seemed scared (?). I love how quick he recovered for mabels sake tho their dynamic is so sweet. Shes a little weird girls and hes like taking her under his wing. the definition of dad who didnt want a pet. I love how they understand each other.

Did he wonder, even for a moment, if it was his dead/missing brother??? Like i have brothers if we still looked alike enough to be twin levels of similar and someone made a statue of me id also scream. Also like his investment in having the "murder" solved feels so weird knowing he has a mysterious disapeared twin. his investment feels heavier. Like hes projecting his grief.

Does watching Mabel and Dipper interact happily make him miss other stan? also how do other family members feel about this diapearance? Clearly bad since they never told dipper and mabel. But them being the grunkles implies they have at least on more sibling. Howd they feel about the disappearance?

I cant wait to get more details on those two. i feel like their relationship has to be all levels of fucked for him to never mention having a twin. Like no matter how mad i was with my bros id fucken mention them at least once even by accident to their nibblings.

Three: i like how often mabels outfit changes i love her silly themed sweaters and fun earrings. The cross fingers gag on the back of her sweater after lying to her grunkle stan made me laugh. Shes so weird and fun and loud and i love her. Dispite now being a guy i see myself in weird little girl characters. Like yeah i too would've glued a hot glue gun tomyself and wore chips as earrings. I too would have lost my mind over losing my pig. delightful i adore her randomness.

Four: dipper is equally relatable but in a way that makes me scream lol. His anxietys are so familiar to me hope he sees someone for that. And that book cannot be helping. The author was clearly paranoid and while dipper wrote that he trusts mabel i worry that he wont always.

I dont have a five but i might reblog in a few eps and rambke further

[dearrosaceae]

God maybe I do still miss him

Yesterday night, all I could think of was him, and so were any other nights. Lately, he’s been liking my photos on Instagram stories a lot which raised my suspicions. I had my coins on a bet that he would text me soon and he would text me first. It took a while but after the first few likes, he texted me first.

He deleted the text initially, followed by “Sorry, I accidentally press a button and hit reply”. I raised my eyebrow at that excuse. Yes, it sounded like an excuse.

A lousy excuse.

I wasn’t fussy about it either as I did have been waiting for him to text anyway even if it’s by accident. I was right nonetheless; he did text me, and he texted me first. I tried to play it cool, asking what’s up like that deleted text didn’t bother me. In reality, I was howling to myself. “I told you so! He came back?!” I cackled, which was so the opposite of cool.

“you missed me, huh?” I asked again. I didn’t know what got into me, I just thought to myself like let’s test the water to see where he is at right now, emotionally. If he responded positively, I’d take it as a go. To my disappointment, he shot that down as quickly as the question came. I was a bit dejected, but his casual response didn’t mean anything else either, just that he didn’t miss me.

Then again, he wouldn’t tell me if he missed someone else.

The conversation got upbeat as we got to talking. Just random stuffs like singing, about him posting really sad statuses, about me spamming mine. I missed this, us. I had to admit that, maybe I haven’t completely move on. I really missed him. I even thought of morphing the conversation into a phone call even, just because I missed his voice. I decided to not do that out of self-respect that I built for myself over the couple months.

I tried to milk the conversation, just talk about something a little while longer. I didn’t want him to go away, and let the conversation died out just like that. I ended up opening up about my best friend (whom I talked once here, and had a temporary crush on which was CRAZY and) whom had a familial-financial related personal problems. I asked him of his opinions, which he took the role adorably seriously.

I didn’t open up about too many things on my best friend as I kept it very vague, and I addressed mostly about my concerns on their circumstances and past self-inflicted abuses. He asked me a couple of questions as well, and gave me his opinion from a bystander P.O.V. I appreciated it, although his was not any different from mine.

I already knew what to do, it’s just that it’s a woman’s things to pretend to be dumb in certain situations in the presence of someone they like. Not that we are acting inferior, we crave the attention and just want to reel the guys in. Other than perhaps sometimes having the guys do all the work for us hehehe but the guys feel great to help too.

The conversation, like our situationship, met its end eventually. I said my thanks and bid him goodbye while he sent a sticker which I left on read. Somebody has to leave the chat, right? I prefer it to be me because I have a thing that if I’m the one left on read, I look at myself like I’m desperate. Most people might not care, so I take that generalization to my advantage.

Today, my day went as normal as it can be, per routine. I still think about him, which is also true to routine. My yearning for him might die down a little, but my feelings are harder to kill. I know it is not healthy and beneficial to stay emotionally attached to someone, but I don’t know if it’s any healthier to find a rebound; someone who I’ll form another relationship with in order to forget or move on from my past relationship.

Both options seemed toxic, so which poison will I ingest anyway?

[h311-arcanenox]

Hey there sluts!(affectionately) it’s been a while, how is everyone? I’m doing great, still as horny as ever. Sorry for being inactive life got really crazy the past year-ish quick recap (this is about to feel like an AO3 authors note), I sent a guy to jail and got him expelled from our school, started working in my industry which jam packed my schedule, almost got expelled myself because the guy tried to retaliate, went to Italy and Scotland to get away from all of the drama, had a situationship and then got ghosted, and then got into a car accident where my car got totaled (it was a hit and run).

So yeah, needless to say I've gone through it BUT IM BACK, and horny, and lurking 👀 I'll also probably be posting more.

[eryanlainfa]

Auurghh who let Aiden and Varian get in a relationship- they shouldn't be- they should have stayed sorta exes after their weird situationship that happened during the worst time of their life-

Its the way they keep trying to fix each other but only to make things worse. They have plagued my brain for too long now its gotta stop- its the obsession towards each other... it intoxicates even myself- sighs. Teenage love.

How is Hugo the healthiest of the three- help- maybe healthy isn't the right word but he's got some more common sense somehow.. to an extent. He just has his fair share or issues and trauma and he cant go through messy break ups if he never let anyone into his personal space right-

I like having the stories solely happening in my brain, no one knows what I'm talking about. I mean- I guess people knows the basis cuz the big lines dont change much.. but everything regarding Aiden is just in my head.

You don't know Varian regards Aiden's disability as something he needs to fix because he feels responsible for it for the longest time. And how important it was for Aiden to meet people who didnt know them prior to the accident.

Idk. Something about Var's "I can fix you a prosthetic so you can walk like you've never lost your leg" vs Hugo's "we have the means for you to not need to walk. Just get on that damn cart." and how one comes from a caring thought while the other doesn't. They make me insane-

Its okay tho. They all learn better I promise-

Analysing my own writing tonight and I am still so ill about airigo

[chocominnie]

Desperado — 07 (M) | JJK.

Pairing: Badboy!Jungkook X Reader

Summary : A messy situationship at it’s finest. You don’t even know whats headed your way, just even engaging in the slightest within him. See, he has an assignment to complete. A mission granted by his father thats do or die. You just so happen to be a major pawn in that assignment. He didn’t mean to take an interest in you. Surely it was an accident right? Only except. you hold much value in this game that he’ll do anything to complete it. Oblivious is what you are. Poor thing. Poor.. Poor thing.

Genre: Mature/ Mafia!Jungkook

Trailer: xxxxx  preview 01 02 03 04 05 06

Word Count : 9k ( I couldn’t help myself im so sorry but it’s worth your wait)

Warnings : This honestly isn’t for the light hearted and the weak…High angst, usage of drugs, drug mentions, mental illness, switch!jungkook, Brat reader, possible stockholm syndrom, kidnapping, assault, death of side characters, murder, weapons, usage of weapons, masturbation, physical violence, blood, alcohol, weed, unprotected and protected sex, spanking, honestly its a lot of aruging…

Copyright:  please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

Run. Run as fast as you fucking can. Run till your legs cannot take it anymore. FUCKING RUN! The small boy’s feet don’t stop. Through this very bad weather where the leaves blow and the rain is wickedly cold and nasty. The street’s are starting to flood as the wind picks up. Faster. Faster. FASTER.

Like a wild goose, his poor legs ache but they don’t stop. Nobody is to be seen in sight. The clouds outside are darker than ever. What a cold, cruel night. The boy comes to a stop, infront of a closed amusement park. The sign is wore down from weathering and aging over time. There’s a few crates outside of the building, large enough to wear the soaked young boy can sit down. So he does, he sits there with his head in his hands as his hair drips wet down onto the ground. A loud crack of thunder shakes the ground, but that doesn’t phase him. 

The cruel events that had happened just before he got there, phased him though. 

How could he? How could he, how could he, how could he! Someone he looked up to, but also despised, could do that? The bestest of friends, how can he? The young boy lets out a muffled scream, but soon stops himself. The last thing he wanted was for him to find out where he was right this moment. He hopes that he had lost him while he was running away from him. Turns out he didn’t know the other boy could run almost as fast as he can. It’s no surprise though. Not a suprise at all considering the fact that he’s fucking royalty around here.

“ Chung Hee..”

The boy jumps at the voice, immediately removing his hands from his face with his eyes wide. There he was. Standing right infront him. His clothes are drenched as well as his hair. The first instinct for him to do is to run away, but he simply cannot. Because if he had caught up to him that fast then there would be no point in trying to do it again. 

“ Get away from me. Fucking monster.” He shakes his head at him. Both of the boys eyes are red from crying. Chung Hee didn’t care about that though. To him, the other boy deserved to cry and think of his actions.

“ Please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” It’s not use of the other boy whimpering to him. The damage is done. There is no going back from that. “ No. You don’t get to be sorry, Jungkook.”

It shocks him to see what Jungkook had did next. Something he never would think of. The boy is now down on his knees, hands together in the pleading position while looking up at him. It enrages Chung Hee even further that he had the audacity to beg for forgiveness after what he did.

“ Please. Im so sorry hyung.” Jungkook pleads with tears running down his face. It didn’t show any justice though. He got himself into this situation. 

Chung Hee bites his lip, also teary eyed as he looks down at the young boy. How could he? “ You saw him hit her. You saw him choke her. She almost died because of you!”

Like a wild animal, Chung Hee can’t hold himself back from pushing Jungkook down to the concrete ground. “ You lied! When your mother asked you what had happened to my mom, you fucking lied. You liar!”

Jungkook can’t stop crying, shaking like a leaf at the way his own bestfriend is screaming at him right now. It’s not like he had a choice. He just couldn’t be truthful at that time and moment or he knew he’d be done for. 

“ Hyung!” He screams, wiping his tears only for them to come back. The rain picks up even more as the wind howls at the both of them. “ I didn’t have a choice! If I told the truth, he’d-” Jungkook’s mouth doesn’t even let him finish the sentence. That’s how much fear the situation holds to him.

Chung Hee doesn’t care for his little show he’s putting on. Instead, the boy kicks Jungkook which makes him curl up onto the ground crying even harder. “ Now she has to leave because of you. You wouldn’t know how it is to be less fortunate! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. I didn’t!”

Jungkook continues to cry, “ It’s not my fucking fault. I didn’t chose to be born into this! “ The boy gets up, now enraged that he had brought that up.

It’s a soft spot for Jungkook. If he had to choose, he would of definately been born to another family, and Chung Hee knew that. To throw that in his face was practically an insult to him. 

“ You know that. You know the things I go through.” This time, Jungkook is the one to push him onto the ground. Hovering over him with anger written all over his face. “ I had to lie and you know why!”

“ Bullshit.” He spits at the him. “ You’re becoming more and more like him and you fucking know it. Coward.”

That’s the last straw for Jungkook. He’s no longer aware of himself and his actions so it doesn’t come to him when his fist repeatedly connects with Chung Hee’s face. Blood splatters everywhere. Inhuman growls leave his throat, hit after hit. He feels nothing but hot, seething rage through his veins. 

Only until the bloodied boy flips them over unexpectedly. He hovers over Jungkook with a black pocket knife. One he stole from one of Jungkook’s father’s workers. Such a sly boy. “ You dare hit me? After you were the one in the wrong?” Blood drips from his nose and mouth onto Jungkook’s shirt. 

It would be a lie to say Jungkook isn’t scared for his life right now. Those doe eyes go wide at the sight of the knife the boy holds. “ H-hyung..” His voice shaky, but sincere. 

It doesn’t matter to Chung Hee now though. Jungkook had sucessfully shown what he’s really like behind closed doors. A two faced bestfriend who had betrayed him and his family. It fucking disgusts him. 

With one hand around Jungkook’s mouth and the other holding the knife, Chung Hee shakily raises his hand up. Jungkook writhes underneath him, but the other boy cannot hear him between the muffles of his hand and the boy’s mouth. 

“ This is payback for what you did.”

Within a flash, the knife connects slightly to the left side of the boy’s chest. The blood curddling scream underneath Chung Hee’s hand is no match for the way he slowly pulls the knife out. It struck him hard, when he realizes what he just did. Eyes as wide like he had just seen a ghost. The blood on his hands frightens him even more to the point where his stomach his doing summersaults and waves of nausea enter the scene. 

“ H-hyung” The injured boy whimpers out. The blood keeps spewing out of him like a fountain. “ I-I’m sorry hyung.” Chung Hee says, grabbing Jungkook’s phone out his coat pocket. His fingers shakily dial 119.

“ Hello? What is your emergency and adress?”

But it’s too late. Chung Hee had already dropped the phone and sprinted away before he could open his mouth, leaving the boy there to bleed out on his own.

                   ──────────────────────────────────

Your pointer fingers trace over the expensive cranberry red colored envelope for the 5th time. The name is embedded in the envelope with black ink and very fancy caligraphy. Pulling the cream colored note out, you place it ontop of the envelope to read.

My dearest Yn, it is with great honor to ask you to attend the Skyfall Palace New Year’s Eve Ball with me. I’ve demanded Crystal to also help you dress shop for tomorrows event. It is on a late notice, but with the things that have been going on that we both know of, I didn’t want to stress you out earlier. Come join me and my family’s event, and attend with me by your side. I wont take no for an answer haha. 

With love, Lee Sungmin.

Just the thought of attending the ball is enough to stress you out. As it had been yesterday when you recieved it in the mail and today is the grand day. Indeed Crystal had took you shopping with her when you texted her confused about all that. The two of you guys browsed dresses in an overly expensive store while chatting about the drama that had happened previously. 

Crystal had promised you things would turn back to normal by the end of the ball. So that mean’t the entire friendgroup was going to attend. Great. With all the embarrassment that happened, things just don’t go your way huh?

“ Where you going dressed all like that?”

The voice makes you hault the process of looking at the expensive, velvety maroon ball gown dress. It fits your curves nicely with the matching velvet belt sinched at your upper waist, creating an illusion of more plump breasts that sit perfectly inside the dress. The sequins that goes from the bottom the dress up to the mid of the gown shine bright with and without lighting. You had opposed to Crystal before that the gown was too much, and that everyone would look at you.

She ignored your comment just for her to tell you that that was merely the point. People wouldn’t know where to look. It didn’t feel comforting that she had then said after that, that everyone would be wearing designer and expensive branding. The top people of Korea’s business community would be there, and it was only right to show what you got like it’s New York Fashion Week.

“ I- i’m just..” You turn around to face the unannounced person standing at the doorframe of your room. “ I was invited to attend an event.” You finish.

He shakes his head at you while smirking at the dress, “ Got a date?” You roll his eyes at his comment as you grab the pillow closest to you to throw at him. Instead he catches it and tosses it back to its place. You narrow your eyes in defeat.

“ Sejun I would of brought you but my so called date had already arranged things.” It’s true. Sejun is your best friend and your first friend you ever made when you first moved here. It would of been no doubt to make him tag along.

Sejun’s eyes go wide in amusement at your comment. You tilt your head to the side and shake your head at him, already knowing what he’s thinking. “ No. I’m not dating anybody.”

“ But you kissed two boys. Naughty girl.” He makes his way over to your bed where your previous clothes lay every which way. It doesn’t bother him though so he just scoots them over to the side to make space for himself.

You hated that. You hate the fact that he brought it up when you told him to never speak of it again. It’s already bad enough that you have to deal with it again tonight. The group will probably bring it up again. To your dismay, you’d have to explain yourself to them in hopes of making things right once again.

“ They both kissed me first. You know that.” 

Yet to you, both of their kisses felt good to you. You didn’t feel the need to push them off, it just felt too natural. Thats the issue. It shouldn’t feel that way to you and it’s been driving you crazy for the past few days. Your mind doesn’t even try to distract you from your pestering thoughts now a days. 

Sungmin sighs, “ It’s not like you to let things get this far yn. Remember me? Sejun? The one you work with almost everyday so he knows this?’

He’s right. Usually you would’ve had things nipped in the bud by now. This situation just seems out of your control to you. “ I know..” You turn around to face the mirror again, admiring yourself. 

“ It’s just that this time Sejun, I don’t know what to do.” You cross your arms feeling defeat. “ I just.. don’t know.”

Sejun nods his head, eyes wandering around your room. He realizes you’ve changed it a bit but not enough to throw things off. The piano lays gracefully in your room, haven’t touched in a while due to the dust he sees collecting on it. That worries him. You love piano with your entire heart, there would be zero reason for you to stop playing.

He gets up from his spot on the chair and walks towards you. You take the time to get a good look at him. He’s dressed warm for the weather, and this time he had let his hair out of the tiny man-bun he always has. His lean body stands behind you, looking at you through your mirror but you don’t say a word. It’s shocking when his arms drape around your waist and he rests chin head on your shoulder.

“ Sejun?”

He doesn’t break eye contact with you, “ Something is really going  on yn for you to be not playing your piano.” The sharp turn of your head towards the untouched piano makes him lose his balance a bit but he catches himself. The boy was right. You hadn’t touched the piano since that day. 

You can’t let Sejun know that though. He’d tell your mother for sure. That’s the last thing you wanted out of this whole entire drama mess. Things may be up in flames right now, but it’s not worth your mother getting involved.

“ It’s because I’ve been so stressed and busy lately.” It’s not a total lie because you had been stressed. The busy part isn’t so true due to you having as much free time as possible for Winter break. 

He gives you that suspcious look and it makes you shift you eyes into a different direction. Sejun decides to back off the situation, and releases you from himself. “ Okay but remember you didn’t transfer schools for nothing. You are the best piano player, so you will graduate with that title.”

You just agree for now as the feeling of dragging it further would only make you look even more suspicious. “ I hope she will too..” 

Immediately you turn your head towards your bedroom door. There he is, all black suit, no tie, with his hair freshly combed into its place. The way his arms hug a little against the suit jacket a bit is a sight to see. 

“ Sungmin! So you are her date.” Sejun exclaims, walking towards him to greet him. “ Indeed I am. Can I take her away now? The car is waiting.”

Sungmin looks at you, taking in every inch of how beautiful you look in the dress. He adores the way it hugs around your curves in the right places, but then flares out to the bottom. Your skin is perfectly hitting the lights in your room right now to the point where you look so etheral while you strut your way in your heels to him.

Wrapping your arm in his, you all walk out your room together only to be greeted by your mother at the bottom of the stairs. She’s camera ready with a huge grin upon her face. If it wasn’t for the fact that you actually are dressed good right now, you would have been embarassed and told her to take no pictures.

“ Oh you look so good! Look at that dress!” Your dad is going to love the pictures. Come on, all of you get together and smile.”

“ She does doesn’t she?” Sungmin looks at you. You can’t help but to smile at the compliments being passed all around you. “ Should we facetime him?”

Your mother’s face drops a little at your comment. You knew what that meant. He was busy with his work at the moment, yet again. “ He said to take as many pictures as you can.”

If guilt wasn’t enough, the tears almost form in your eyes again. You stop yourself though because going to an event with ruined make-up wasn’t your ideal thing. “ It’s fine. Take our pictures and send them to him.” Your head hangs low, voice quieter than usual due to disappointment once again.

Thankfully you got yourself together in time. There was very few time left for talking, so the picture taking is quick to your liking. After saying your goodbyes to both your mother and Sejun, you’re in the passenger seat of an expensive car with Sungmin steering the wheel through the city of Seoul. The night has fallen, and the city lights are bright. You take notice in the night-life that passes you by. Everyone laughing and going along the sidewalks with their friends. Friends. Something you may no longer have. That hurts the most. One simple thing happened and now everyone seems to be against you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss them. The time away has told you that the group of friends truly mean a lot to you. To lose them so early really hurts your heart. You did something you promised not to do, so this is the payback right? Only if the payback can be less worse and more forgiving.

“ I know it isn’t the right time to ask, but your dad.. is he-”

“ He just..” You pause yourself wondering if you should bring it up. It’s Sungmin though, the one who actually cares. Sighing, you place your hands together on your lap making sure to interlock them together out of habit.

“ He works a lot more now because he wants to move us out of the country. We came to Seoul because of my mom’s job offer, and my dad had already went where his work needed him so she took the offer because it pays a lot more.”

Sungmin nods his head as he turns the wheel to make a left. You two are now going down a long winding road, leaving the city behind you guys. “ May I ask where he is?”

“ Taiwan”

“ Oh really?” He quickly turns his head to you, with a quick smile. You nod your head at him. “ I’ve been to Taiwan on family vacation. Very pretty where I was at. The city is similar to Seoul so it felt a little natural to me.” 

You’ve never actually been to Taiwan. Your dad is there doing his work, but he’s never brought you guys to where he’s working. From your knowledge, it only snows in the highlands of Taiwan, so you know he’s most likely near or in the mountains. Somewhere secluded and not to be bothered as he does his job.

“ I’d like to visit Taipei.” Hopefully you’d get to move there with your family. Seoul is taking a lot to get used to. It’s neither bad or good, just out of your comfort zone. 

The winding roads come to an end when you guys pull up to a big gate. Just beyond the gates is a mansion, all lit up brightly. The roundabout has a large fountain spewing water gracefully. He lives here? In this big mansion?

“ This is your house?” Your eyes nearly buck out of you when the gates automatically open. The way the pathway lights up as the car drives up allows you to see that there are more cars in the distance. More.. luxury cars.

As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some red roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home.

Sungmin chuckles, “ Yes and no. Me and Crystal live in the city. This was the house we grew up in. It’s my parents.” 

“ So it’s just normal.. for korean teenagers to live by themselves?” In no way shape or form would your mother ever allow her teenager to live alone. It’s just too dangerous, is what she would always say when you’d ask.

“ Not at all. Usually they live with their parents.’ The car suddenly stops, causing you to look out the window again. The amount of paparazzi outside makes you wonder just exactly.. what this event really is. “ Crystal and I got our own apartment because the performing arts school is a little far from here.” 

“ So.. instead of driving you guys just?” You can’t even finish your sentence at the way your just in shock people could just up and do that. “ Well.. we had to prove to our parents we can survive and behave without them. So far so good.”

“ And your parents do what?”

Instead of answering your question he gets out the car and closes it behind him. The car door on your side opens with Sungmin smiling with his hand out for you to grab. You take it, stepping out the car and closing the door behind you. 

The cameras start clicking away. Questions being thrown at you left and right. Some asking what designer you’re wearing, which you don’t even know. Others asking who you are and what brand or business you represent. The flashes on the cameras shutter, causing you to blink rapidly trying to atleast see where you’d be walking.

 Sungmin grips your hand a little firmer to let you know you’d be alright. The two of you begin walking up towards the house, the cameras following you all. “Sungmin, who is this? She’s your date for the night correct? So you’re allowed to date now.” A young woman holds the microphone to him, hoping for an answer.

“ She’s Yn. Goes to Cheong Seoul Performing Arts, and is the next big thing in Piano. She plays very well. Keep your eyes on her and not me tonight.” His confidence is through the roof right now. You however, do not know how to take it all in. 

Is this what it’s like for the rich? Paparazzi and news anchor people? Having your pictures taken non-stop? 

“ So your father’s school, and she’s a piano player. Yn can you tell me more about that?” All eyes are on you right now. Father’s school?

Sungmin’s father owns the school you go to? It actually all makes sense now, sense Jungkook did mention that Sungmin’s father wouldn’t like hearing he’d been in a fight. Sungmin pushes the microphone from you, looking over at you and winking. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“ She’s the best. I can assure you. We have to get going, or we’ll miss some things.”

You decide to leave that burning question of why he didn’t tell you before, for later in the night. The two of you enter the house, greeted by the security in the front entrance. It’s a lot of people here tonight. Everywhere you look, there is elegantly dressed people. All of them laughing with and conversing with drinks in their hands. Looking so posh and only to what you can imagine are uptight. 

Guiding you through the people, you both finally make it to the ballroom where there are people scattered more openly. “ My parents wanted to see you. Especially my father.”

What? His father?

“ Yn! My goodness you are so much prettier in real life. Aigoo.” 

Your head snaps in the direction of the happy voice. There they were. Sungmin’s parents hand in hand walking over towards you with huge smiles on their face. You take the time to smoothe out your dress and fix your posture. A good impression on people like this could get you somewhere in the long run.

Sungmin greets his parents with a hug to each and a kiss on the cheek to his mother. “ Crystal helped her pick out the dress.” He says.

“ She did a good job. That’s my girl.” His mother says, looking you up and down.”So Yn, Sungmin has told us all about you. We were happy to know you’d be attending with him tonight. Thank you for coming to our event.”

It makes you even more curious at to what did he actually tell them about you. What could he say other than you’re his new piano playing friend?

You smile, “ Well I hope it was good. Thank you for allowing me here.” Sungmin’s father lets out a small laugh, “ Of course! We’ve seen you play Piano and indeed we can tell a future star when we see it.”

Taken aback, you tilt your head to the side in confusion. Since when did they ever see you play? “ You saw me? When? Im sorry I don’t re-”

“ Your audition tape. We have to approve who we allow has the best talent to attend my school. You truly do have that talent.” He says, giving you a warm, reassuring smile again.

Why are they always so smiley?

“Well thank you again for allowing me to attend. I will be sure to not let you down.” 

The rest of talk between you two is of how you feel about attending the school, and some talk about what do you see yourself doing in the future. They even bring up your family, in which you had to once again clear up that your dad was away working.You try to answer the rest to the best of your ability, but you just wanted the conversation to end. 

“ I’d like to steal her away from this conversation to at-least have a dance with her.” Sungmin finally says. It’s like music to your ears from this boring talk with his parents. The two agree and go their seperate way to go and mingle with the others. 

Just as you two make it to the middle of the ballroom floor, the other attendees grab their partners too and the music begins to play. It’s a lovely slow song. “Everyone seems to want to dance when we do.”You giggle as Sungmin pulls you closer to him.

“ They all just wanted someone to break the ice.” Sungmin says. “ Besides, they must’ve seen someone beautiful and decided to join.”

You smile when he plants a small kiss on your forehead. Perhaps Sungmin wouldn’t be such a bad canidate to date. He treats you how you’ve always wished to be treated, and he cares a lot. He never lies or gets snarky with you, unlike the other. To be honest with yourself he actually has always been there when you needed him as well.

It wasn’t until yesterday when you decided to acknowledge the feelings you may have for Sungmin. You caught yourself day-dreaming about him ever since that night of the kiss. He surely isn’t a bad person, so why not? The feelings for him that you have are small, but they’re growing. Tonight just shows you even more of why you should consider dating him. 

“ You look so beautiful in that dress tonight Yn.” He twirls you around to the music, in which you come back into his chest looking him in those eyes that never leave yours. “ Thank you. You look handsome in your suit tonight.”

The song comes to an end, causing everyone around you guys to clap. You hadn’t noticed they were watching. You take a small bow with Sungmin still holding your onto your hand. Tonight isn’t really that bad after all.

The ballroom seemed to be getting full again. This time, people were starting to crowd around the near the entrance again. The feeling in you hopes it would be another famous person so you could escape this spotlight on you.

Oh but you were entirely wrong. The way the other teenagers attending react let you know exactly who the fuck they are. As if the night was starting off dreadful, it’s just gotten even worse. 

“ Look’s like our special guests are here.” His mother says from behind you. You hadn’t noticed she was behind you guys, dancing with her husband.

The three of you turn towards that direction, waiting for them to enter. Your blood begins to boil, the last thing you need is for him to be here. You hope he really isn’t here.

“ Eomma, you didn’t tell me you’d be inviting other people from school.” The worried look on Sungmin’s face tells it all to you. You grip his hand harder, sighing out of frustration.

His father shakes his head at him, disappointed he would say such a thing.“ Why wouldn’t I invite the person who made a generous donation to the school? Sungmin you should be thanking his father for that.”

Is it him or his father?

Sure enough your thought is answered right then and there. It’s him. Jeon fucking Jungkook in the living flesh. Dressed in an all white suit that looks way too good on him. His rings and gold watch sparkle in the light with every step he takes. Just the sight of him makes you angry.

“ I’m gonna go grab a drink.” 

You don’t allow any interuptions when you walk off, heading the opposite direction to where Jungkook is entering. He notices you though. He nearly stops in his tracks when he sees you in that dress, walking away so elegantly towards the mini bar. The way your hair bounces a little with each step you take, and the sound of your heels clicking away mesmerizes him. 

You make it to the minibar, in which you ask the lady who’s serving for a glass of wine. You didn’t think she’d actually serve it to you, but she does and doesn’t even card you. The music is elegant and light so you decide to sway a little to the sound of it while sipping on the sweet tasting wine. 

“ Drinking and you’re a student hmm.”

“ Ayami?”

She holds her glass up to yours sending a memo to cheers. The glass clinks together and you both take a long sip. “ I needed one too. Don’t worry about them asking for I.D. It’s a private event.”

You keep that in mind. Things must be a way different when you have reign over anything you want. “ So you aren’t mad at me anymore..”

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear before answering, “ It.. It was more of a shock factor than anything else. We just needed time to adjust.”

You could agree about the shock thing. You’d be shocked too if you were put in their shoes. However, Crystals little thing that came out was more shocking to you than anything else.

“ Crystal is no where to be found, and it’s her parents event?” You question, taking another sip from your glass of wine. “ She’s probably boning Namjoon in one of the rooms.” Ayami laughs.

“ He’s actually being introduced to her parents.”

Your laughter is cut short hearing that annoying, arrogant voice. Ayami inhales in, looking in a different direction as she sips her wine. You turn your head towards him with a blank face, “ Nobody asked you Jungkook.”

“ I was just telling you guys. I also came here to get something to drink so don’t be alarmed.” He throws his hands up, smirking while he walks past you a little.

“ Its not like.. I’m gonna kill you..” His eyes make contact with you sending shivers down you spine at the words he uttered at you. He wouldn’t. Would he? In a place like this? 

You glance around the semi-crowded ballroom. It actually would be a perfect set-up to get away with. The murder of you could be framed for anyone in this room right now in this exact moment. “ I’m.. gonna go find Crystal..”

“ Don’t worry Ayami. I’m sure I wont be fucking murdered right now.” Your sarcasticness causes Jungkook to laugh at you. 

“ You won’t. I’ll be the first to snitch and then murder him for murdering you.” 

She walks away into the the crowd of people to leave you two alone together. You take another sip of your wine, only before it’s taken out of your hands mid sip. Could he be more annoying than this at this point. 

“ Jungkoo-’‘

He presses his fingers to his lips and glares at you. Somehow, you take that urge to not get killed to be quiet. He smiles at the view of you obeying him. “ I need you sober tonight because I actually need to have a chat with you.”

“ What is there to talk about. You nearly ruined my friendship group.”

Jungkook tilts his head, that smirk coming upon his face again. “ I didn’t ruin anything. You failed to tell them about our little fling.”

Fling? Since when? “ We are not flinging anything between us.” Your voice is confident, yet hopeful that he’d get the message that this shouldn’t be talked about in this setting. You don’t want anyone else knowing you and Jungkook had did something together anyways.

“ If we aren’t a fling, then you wouldn’t of let me mark you and you wouldn’t of made out with me” Jungkook is certain that you atleast have some feelings for him. If you didn’t you wouldn’t of been having this conversation with him.

“ Can we talk about things somewhere private then.” 

You can’t believe you had suggested it, but you’d rather him blab his mouth in a room with you than where people could be listening. He agrees with you and gets up first to lead you out of the ballroom and up the grand stairs. Nobody seems to notice you two sneaking around and about.

The hallways are long and decorated nicely with expensive acessories to match the decor of the rest of the mansion. You take notice in the paintings on each sides of the wall. They’re done so nice, perfect to say the least. After a few minutes of searching for a vacant room suitable for talking, Jungkook finally opens the door to what seems like a small room for reading. Considering the way its set up, and the two huge bookshelves against the wall along with a couch sitting neatly inbetween.

Your heels click against the floor once entering first, then Jungkook behind you who closes the door and locks it after. “ I locked it do nobody could barge in.. if that’s okay with you.”

Your scream is loud enough if he tries something anyways. “ What did you want to speak about.” You take a seat on the couch. Jungkook decides to keep his distance a bit, so he sits in one of the chairs instead.

“ The kiss that night. Me marking you.. I hope you know that-”

“ It didn’t mean anything to you? Sure. I get it. It was just a heat in the moment thing.” Your cross your arms and your eyes wander around the room, avoiding looking at him.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “ No actually, I did mean it.” That sentence captures your attention. Meant it? “ What do you mean?”

He rubs the back of his kneck unsure of what to say. The last thing you wanted is for him to admit he has some sort of feelings for you. That can’t happen. That definately can’t happen.

“ I don’t know. I just.. mean’t it in someway?”

“ Our sort of relationship is too bent for us to be.. considering things like feelings..” 

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows, “ Feelings? I didn’t say that.” To your relief, you’re somewhat happy that he hadn’t said those things. “ So what now?”

“ I still dont understand why you don’t like me Yn.” Jungkook purses his lips together and sits back in the seat all the way. You scoff at his comment. The audacity of this man.

“ I don’t like you because you seem to always have did or said something to piss me off. It’s like you just do it to me on purpose. Me and only me Jeon fucking Jungkook.” It’s too late to stop yourself from becoming mad. Why would he even ask such a question when he clearly knows the answer?

The boy chuckles again at your sudden outburst. You throw your hands up shaking your head at him in the process, “ And then you just fucking laugh it off.”

“ Listen yn, you can’t blame me for everything. You came in this school and heard rumors of me and then based it as if it was true.” His voice is angry, laced with hurt. The two mixing inbetween like blood and water.

You get up from your spot on the couch visibly upset. Jungkook get’s up as well, pride hurt more than ever but he wouldn’t back down a petty little challenge like this. “ You don’t make it easy for yourself to believe you aren’t the monster they say you are!”

That one hurt him the most. Monster? You think he’s a monster and that’s something he wish you didn’t think of him. At-least not right now according to his plan. He sighs, hands running through his hair. “ I’m not a killer. I’m not what the rumors say they are. I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t think that way too.”

“ Oh please.” You throw your head back with a sarcastic smile, then lift it back up looking at him. “ You want me to change my mind about it? When you tend to joke about it all the time to me so that I fear for my fucking life?”

Suddenly his face goes from upset to concerned. It catches you off guard for a split second but you deem yourself to not fall into his little fucking set up. 

“ You’re scared of me? I didn’t do anything to you Yn. Im sorry if you think tha-”

“ Save it Jungkook. I really don’t want your pity party. You make my life hell.” You’re worked up again. If it wasn’t for this party right now you would have been thrown something at him.

“ Everyday..” You pause, pushing him with all your force. “ I have to..” Again you push him. “ Deal with your bullshit. You sincerely..” Another push. He’s pressed against the wall now, staring down at you with anger all of his face. 

You continue on not caring if anyone hears you at this point. He deserves all the slander in the world right now, “ Make my life so difficult. And for fucking what Jungkook?”

“ Because you’re always acting like a stuck up brat! As if I done everything horrible in the goddamned world to you or something!” He screams at you only to make you flinch at his voice. “ You don’t realize that you do and say things too right? Because you always think your fucking right.” He pushes your hands off his chest causing you to stumble back.

Bull fucking shit. To your knowledge you hadn’t done anything to him. 

“ I hate you so fucking much.” You grumble, shaking your head at him. He chuckles at your comment pissing you even more off. “ I could say the same to you too fucking brat.”

You stare at him while he breathes in and out harshly. The way he unbuttons his suit jacket and rips it off him to reveal his toned arms underneath his button up shirt. You can almost see his black inked tattoos peeking through the sleeves. His hand makes his way up to his hair, thats when you notice he got another tattoo on his hand. You can’t make out what it is. But it’s there and fresh.

You bite your lip when he clenches his jaw as he runs his fingers through his hair yet again. Its all cut short when he looks over at you once more. “ Like what you see or something?”

“ Fuck off.”

“ I’m sure you’d like me to fuck you anyways.” He says, rolling his eyes playfully. Jungkook grabs his suit and is almost done putting it back on when he notices you stayed silent after his sly comment. 

His eyes never leave yours when he slowly puts back down his suit jacket with amusement upon his face. “ I said.. I’m sure you’d like me to fuck you.. anyways.”

Why can’t you say no to that. You mouth wants to say no. But your mind is definately telling you differently. He’s always been attractive, very attractive, and arguing with him all the time makes that go deep in the back of your mind. Right now though, he’s attractive. It’s something about seeing him all worked up and mad that gives you satisfaction.. and wet.

You’d be lying to yourself if you say you hadn’t thought about your little make-out session. It’s practically always on your mind, when Sungmin isn’t. The way his lips flowed perfectly in sync with yours. How his tongue kept swiping against your lips to part more so he could tongue kiss you. The marks he left made you feel excited, because the thought of having to cover them up was thrilling to you.

“ Yn..”

You break eye contact with him to look down at the ground. 

His footsteps make your heart race with each step he takes towards you. You see his white formal shoes standing right infront of you, but don’t dare to look back up at him.

“ You aren’t denying it..” He whispers, bringing your head up to look at him with the tips of his fingers. You can’t deny it because in this moment you want it.

He breathes in slowly, “ So all this time you wanted me to..”

You wait for him to finish that sentence, since you cant say it for yourself. Half of you wants him to devour you and fuck you till your sore, the other half hates his entire guts and wants him dead. The two aren’t a good mixture.

“ Say it for me Yn. Tell me what you want me to do to you.” His voice is soft barely above a whisper. You break eye contact again, shaking your head. 

Jungkook jerks your head back to him, “ Look at me when im talking to you.” He growls. Damn it he’s so hot. “ Is this what you want us to do? Yes or no Yn?

You can’t deny it anymore. You nod your head yes at him, earning a smile from him. “ Say it.”

Your heart feels as if it’s about to explode. Racing so hard against your chest. You bite your lip again, “ I want you to.. fuck me.”

He throws his head back breathing in with a small chuckle escaping from his lips, “ Good girl. Beg for me baby.” You’re way to caught up in your never ending thoughts about all the things you want him to do to you, that you’re throbbing against your underwear that has a new wet spot on it.  

Jungkook thinks it’s so fucking cute, he moves close enough until his lips graze over yours. You part your lips, eyes traveling from them and up to him with pure innocence. He might just bend you over right then and there if you keep doing that. And suddenly, he kisses you. His tongue makes its way into your mouth, devouring you at his finest. It's the most passionate kiss you've ever shared with him. This one feels magical. It gets you all light-headed, so you lean on him for him to hold you. When he pulls away, you’re left wanting more than that. 

“ Slip out of that dress for me..” His head is pressed against yours. You take his hand and guide it to the back of your dress where he grips against the zipper and pulls it down.

You’re actually doing this. You’re actually going to have sex with Jungkook. The one you despise so much that you just want him to fuck you hard, and good. 

You stand there in your lacey panties and bra set, waiting for him to take control. The way his eyes wander all around your body lets you know he likes your figure. “ You’re so fucking sexy Yn. You know that?” 

His hand going up to your neck catches you by surpise but you like it so you place yours over his. He licks his lips, placing his thumb on your lips in which you oblige and take it into your mouth sucking on it with full force, tongue and all. 

When you reach the couch, he's quick to return his tongue to your mouth and this time his hands are placed on your hips. With one swift move, you’re now straddling him as he sits down on the couch. The kiss is never ending, but it feels so fucking good to have him to yourself in this very moment. He’s hands down the best kisser you’ve met considering your past relationships. His tongue knows exactly what to do, so that leads you to wonder if his tongue knows how to work itself down there.

You unbutton his shirt, never breaking the heated make-out session. His fingers find themselves up your back and to your bra, unhooking it then throwing it to the side of the room. You finally get his buttons unhooked, and ravishly take the shirt from off of him, breaking the kiss in the process to look down at him. He’s a literal built sex god. The way he’s so toned and the six pack of abs that are chistled is unreal. He knows he’s hot and he knows that flexing his muscles for you would turn you on. It sure does. 

“ Jungkook..” You whisper, eyes still on his body as a finger of yours trace over every dip and line there is. He enjoys how beautiful and innocent you are. So curious, it amuses him. 

Jungkook takes this moment to turn you around on your lap so your pretty back is facing him. His left hand snakes around your waist as his legs spread yours wide open. “ I’m not going to fuck you Yn.”

“ Why” You pout. That tingly sensation down in your pussy needs to be filled fast or you swear you’d just cum no hands touched.

His lips nip at the skin of your neck, “ Have you been fucked before Yn?”

To tell the truth, or lie..

“ Y-yes..”

He stops his movements, “ Are you lying to me right now?”

“ Yes.”

“ Bad girl. I don’t like when im lied to.” The slap on your pussy makes you let out a small scream making Jungkook cover your mouth. “ This isn’t the setting to make such noises Yn. Be good and cut it out.”

You nod your head when he removes his hand. He doesn’t want to fuck you. Not in this party setting. It’s too cliche for him. He’d rather give you a night full of fun in his apartment. Fucking you right now would mean he won way too easily. He wants to take his time with you, to feel your body up and down each crevice. He wants to have you dripping down your thighs and onto himself. He wants to tease your pussy with his fingers tonight. Have you lose your fucking mind at his fingers being the only thing filling you. 

So he does just that. His first move is to remove the panties of yours and toss them to the side where your dress lays. Jungkook hums at how wet you are when he traces his two fingers up and down your folds, knuckles just brushing against your clit so gently but enough for you to moan loudly. 

Jungkook covers your mouth again, “ I swear if you’re loud again I will cover your mouth the entire time pretty girl. Be mindful of the people downstairs alright.”

You whimper and nod your head again for him to release again. Again, his fingers trace up and down your folds, then going to your clit where he rubs it in circles sending shocks of electricity down your spine. That butterfly feeling in the pit of your stomach makes you moan again, quieter this time. His thighs flexes against you with each pretty moan you make while his fingers wrap around your throat. It feels so fucking good. 

“Moan my name for me baby.” His fingers go back down again, dipping into your pussy with a wet sound. Your eyes are shut as his name slips from your mouth so effortlessly. He swears he’s never heard his name be called so hot by any female other than you.  “ That’s it baby say it for me. Keep on begging.”

You whimper as the string of moans and you begging for him to go deeper inside of you come out. He sucks on your neck out of pure ecstacy of hearing you call for him. His fingers plunge in and out of you fast, wet sounds filling the air. There’s no use of you trying to contain yourself now. Your legs shake and you start moaning louder and louder. As promised, Jungkook places his hand back over your mouth, like you wanted him to. He tilts your head down to look at him fucking you so hard, it’s so hot the way he does you. His fingers go in and out and you watch until your eyes roll back and those moans become more persistant. 

You scream his name outloud, hands trying to push him away from him abusing your hole. “ Cum for me Yn.”  As if on command, your body freezes and your legs shake hard as your breathing harsh. Jungkook continues on though, in love at the sight of you all worn out and a mess just due to his fingers. He finger-fucks you to the verge of you sobbing at him, but wanting more of him and anything of him. 

“ S-Sensitive.” You wince, head thrown back onto his chest. Jungkook doesn’t stop though. He continues his ways of using your hole to his own content. “Can you squirt for me Yn? Pretty please?”

“ Jungk-” You barely manage to get out before you hear a slight spraying sound along with your wet sounds around his fingers. You’re doing it. Your first time squirting. Your mouth is wide open, unable to moan, but your eyes are rolling to the back of your head again in pure pleasure.

“Fuck Yn, thats my pretty baby.”

The sounds become louder and louder before it comes to a stop. He used you till your limits, and he’s satisfied with it. You become limp and fall back onto his chest, eyes closed as you try to manage and catch your breath.  As he looks at your worn out body beneath him, he smirks at the puddle on the floor. He did that, and knows for sure he’s going to do it again. You were his tightest one he’s had, so it let him know that you really are a virgin.

A virgin who just let a mafia boy finger-fuck her.

A good couple of minutes pass by before you lift yourself back up from his chest. Quite frankly, you didn’t have any remose or regret. Instead, you felt normal. As if everything that just happened was normal. The hate for him you still have, but as for this moment everything felt just as normal as before it started.

“ I trust we can keep this a secret, Jeon Jungkook.” You say, grabbing some tissues from the box on the stand. You do your best to clean yourself up and the puddle underneath you. 

He chuckles as he buttons his shirt back up, “ Trust I wont tell a soul. Give me your number though?” You don’t hesitate to toss the phone to him when you unlock it, nor care when he starts tapping away with it. 

You finally zip up the back of your dress all the way and smoothe it out accordingly. By the time you look over, Jungkook is fully dressed again and holding your phone out to give it back. 

“ Still hate me?” 

“ You bet I do. I need fresh air.”

“ There’s a balcony a few feet away from this room. The fireworks will begin soon. Let’s watch from there. “

At this point what do you have to lose? If you’re caught with him, it wouldn’t matter at this point. Everyone knows you kissed him. Everyone also seems to be fine with it now. The two of you try to leavr the room the best way you found it before heading out and down the hallway again. He was right, a few feet from the room was a glass sliding door leading to a fairly large balcony. It has a few plants and a single chair to sit in. You’d rather stand at this moment to regain your walking senses. The cool air blows through both of your guises hair as you watch everyone crowd to the backyard to see the oncoming events.

“ So...” 

You sigh, “ What is it Jungkook.”

“ Just trying to get to know you is all. The only thing I know is you’re a crybaby for your father who’s away at god knows where right now.”

“ Taiwan Jungkook. He’s in Taiwan. I cry over him because Im a daddy’s girl, and it was hard for me to cope with not seeing him for almost a year now.”

Its silent once again, nothing but the chatter from the people downstairs. 

“ Taiwan’s a pretty fun place. Taipei is atleast. My mom used to tell me stories about living there.” He trails off, turning his head back into the night sky.

It dawns on you not once did you hear anything about his mother from your friends. Just him and his father and the boys. “ Is she.. dead?”

He shrug, “ I wouldn’t know. She went missing early into my teen years.”

So he’d been missing a mother figure in his crucial growing up part of his life. That’s worse than what you’re going through. “ Im sorry. I’ll try not to give you a hard time then.. you know.. from now on.”

The people downstairs begin the countdown. You smile at them for being so excited to bring in the new year. Everything feels so right right now. You countdown with them, and Jungkook joins along. 

“ We should be nice to each other this new year yeah?” He says, bringing his left arm around you. For the sake of this conversation and the things that just happened, you don’t move him away from you. “ Let’s try that then.”

3

“ Yn?”

2

“ Yes Jungkook?”

1

“ I think there’s someo-”

Boom. Boom. Boom. 

The night is cold. The night is heavy. Everything that felt alright, has turned into scary. The blood drips down from your hands from your chest, and your breath is slowly coming towards an end. Your hearing is gone, so the people running to your side you cannot hear. Sungmin screams with tears down his face as he holds you, but Namjoon looks past you, holding down another person who you can’t make out of at the moment. Slowly your vision goes in and out.

 In and out.

In and out.

[findingourpeace]

December 11, 2021

Time has gone by. I’m done with C and the other guy came in. He was fun but not really what I wanted for myself so I pushed him away we started off as a drunk accident and lasted for 3 months until I got into a depression state. And I took some time to myself fr. I didn’t have sex or a situationship for 5 months. I started healing. I started grieving. I learned to take time to myself. Eventually I started letting an old person in my life and be back in more intimately. It’s risky though giving our circumstances. But he’s been patient and consistent for 2 almost 3 years. So I hope his intentions are pure. Idk how everything will turn out but we will see how it goes as life goes on. But I have a good feeling. He’s been brought up as my person by 2 different readers so I’m a bit excited about my journey with him.

I’m just going to do updates on past people have effected my life and where I am with them now.

N- I assume is still married

D- definitely thinks he forgot about me. Even though he was my first.

J- I haven’t talked to or seen since 2019

T- last I seen him was during Homecoming and the energy was off. Not like it used to be. But he’s different now so I understand.

C- he moved to Germany but has randomly been popping up speaking to me every now and then and I don’t mind it. We can be just friends.

K- didn’t think I was going to go back to him. But here we are. He was adventurous and risky when we first started back then and he’s adventurous and even riskier now.

M- he deleted all social media and haven’t seen or heard from him since 2020. Who knows if I ever will.

K- I’m proud of him and his life journey. Still a great friend to check in on.

S- he’s cool to hang out with in our friend group. I think we both try not to think about our 1 moment.

A- when we see each other we speak but that’s about it so yeah.

C- yeah he can go to hell. He moved to Memphis and I just rather not deal with him.

D- I feel bad for how we ended because he truly liked me and I didn’t like him the same. He started getting annoying.

Back in 2018 I never thought my life would be like this because I felt so behind in relationships considering I never had sex or had been in a relationship but shit I still haven’t been in a relationship 🤣 was pretty damn close though but said sike to my damn self. So yeah that’s all folks

SR

[pretty-n-plus]

When you love them like I do..

All my life I have loved boys. I had my first boyfriend and kiss when I was 4. And I had sex (or what I thought was sex) when I was five. My best friends in kindergarten were boys and as i got older my craze for the opposite sex grew tremendously! I always was wishing for a boyfriend when I didn't have one and when I did have one; that didn't stop my eyes from wondering.. or my lips from kissing other guys. When I turned 13 I had a boyfriend that was 16.. I had never met him but I knew him through my cousin. We were in love by the end of the 1st month and began having phone sex everyday half way through the 2nd month. I thought I was head over heels for 8 months until I heard he had cheated on me. I was devastated but I just hopped in another relationship and then another and ANOTHER. It was a never ending cycle. I thought I met the love of my life when I was 16 but I was wrong. He told me he was 20 but he turned out to be 22. He told me he was done with his ex but a year and a half of us "talking" and seeing each other I find out that she is pregnant and they are engaged. But I stayed around, I even lost my virginity to him. We continued to talk up until I went to college; he decided I'd be better off without him so he stopped talking to me. This is when I met the nicest guy..or at least he was nice then. I gave the nice guy a hard time; I took his virginity, made him cry, and constantly told him he wasn't man enough for me. But let me tell you about Karma, she's a BITCH. During the fall semester of my second year I decided that nice guy was the one; he was the only guy I knew that ever really respected me and actually cared. But I didn't realize at the time, how much time could really change a person. We got into a relationship but I was the only one really in it, he cheated within the first week of us being together officially. He only told me cause I told him I hate liars. I was hurt but I forgave him and stayed with him I only asked that he leave her alone and in return he told me "she's my best friend, she isn't going anywhere." And you know what guys? I still stayed. The day after he told me that they got into a car accident together. I still stayed. She went ghost. And I picked up the pieces. I cooked for him. Cleaned for him. Quit one of my jobs. Stopped doing my homework. Started helping him do his. My life revolved around him and in return instead of being thankful he treated me like shit. Talked to me like a child. And I still FUCKING stayed. It wasn't until I found myself sitting on the beach in front of the sunrise balling my eyes out that I realized I needed to end the relationship. And I did but he turned it all on me; he told me that I didn't support him enough. That hurt me to the core. But I hopped into another "situationship" to escape the pain. But then I got played, and then I got caught up in some mess, and then I got played again. So now here I am. Sitting in my bed trying to figure out where I went wrong, and now I know. I never chose ME. I never put me first, I just kept allowing men to walk all over me and take advantage of me. I kept looking for a hero instead of being my own. Chose yourself ladies; be your own savior.