#got me over here throwing a tantrum bruh ..

[lunar-stims]

I fucking hate this fandom

[aliensunflower-fics]

hello if you are taking requests for Miraculous Ladybug, here is my idea: Loosing control,

Gabriel's corruption of the Butterfly Miraculous has a side effect that Gabriel is losing control he has over akuma,

after he does another mass akuma event he loses all control over the akuma.

Okay so I’m SO conflicted with this one. Because on one hand sure you could write this seriously and be like:

“oh no! Now Ladybug and Chat Noir have to deal with a bunch of big bads who without Gabriel’s insistence on ‘get me there miraculouses (miraculi?)’ are just ignoring the superheros and getting revenge / doing whatever they want causing mass damage or something”

But a part of me the part that loves to roast Gabriel and point out what an utter failure he is can’t help but latch on to the COMEDIC opportunity this presents.

Like, Gabriel mass akumatizes a KINDERGARTEN because the kids usual teacher is on maternity leave and they don’t like the substitute. He thinks a bunch of kids will be highly destructive, easy to manipulate, and hard to beat because kids are super chaotic right? But then bam he loses control and now there are a bunch of akumatized kindergarten aged kids running through Paris throwing tantrums but its fine because without Hawkmoth manipulating them into fighting the heroes the kids are easy enough to deal with some even listen to Chat and Ladybug because there the cool heroes they see on TV all the time.

The kids get un-akumatized and Paris just JUDGES Hawkmoth because bruh really? A bunch of children? Thats the best you could do? And you couldn’t even control them? Wow. It becomes a meme people make t-shirts mocking the villain hes a laughing stock. People are so busy laughing at him that he cant akumatize anyone and even if he COULD he has no guarantee he can keep control of the akuma because his powers are on the fritz and even his butterflies are ignoring his orders.

LIKE THE COMEDIC POTENTIAL!

Because Akumas always have there own goals be it vengeance or other nonsense so like if he loses control there just gonna do whatever they want. Like what if Mr.Ramier got akumatized then Hawkmoth lost control? Dude would just use his powers for Pigeon equality or something idk.

[mammonyyy]

MLBB THOUGHTS!!

I started playing around 2019 and I gotta say, Moonton (creator of the game) improve a lot through the past couple of years like releasing new heroes, buffing and nerfing them, skins, maps, and even the quality is impeccable!!

I downloaded the game cause I saw my brother playing it everytime when he get's home from school, it was weird at first, considering kids in his age, tend to play outside with a couple of kids that would gradually becomes your friend at the end of the day, makes me wonder why? Pfft, when I was in his age I might be playing around in the mud attempting to create a snow ball and throw it at my other sibling. But why thou, why sit on the couch and start clicking on the screen like a maniac!?! It got to the point that he would start screaming cause he lost, and I was like "It's just a game, its not like its the end of the world, right?" WRONG!! I WAS TOTALLY WRONG!! Dude loosing a start in MLBB (Mobile Legends Bang Bang) is like loosing the most precious thing in your life. I am SERIOUS!! But if you think that's the worst part, oh ladies think again where just getting started. I haven't even told you about the tantrums yet HAHA! And the kicking and punching over anger cause of loosing a star, bruh, THAT'S THE WORST!! And since I'm always sitting next to him (cause like you know I'm curious) I always get kicked and hit by those tiny boney punches, like bruh I'm just trynna watch wth? But his cute though his cute especially when his cheeks starts turning red!!

So one day i was like "you know what imma play this game, how hard can it be :)" At first, things where doing good, you know MVP here, MVP there, VICTORY flooded my history. But after reaching EPIC TIER, IT'S SOOO HARD ranking up!! But this was my past experience I moved on from epic tier, thank god I did HAHAHAHA. Buying and owning skins is one of my favorite thing to do and brag, just kidding! Speaking of favorite, do you love those players who got so pretty, expensive skins and you thought they were good cause you know they bought the skin, and that there confident, only to find out there a bunch of little BABIES in the GAME!! There literal babies cause you gotta carry them throughout the entire game!!! Ehem, sorry hehe, anyways, playing the game is good, it helps me relax after a tiring day at school (gets mad cause they lost) ,I learned proper communications with others (start cursing cause of their teammates being, you know what), and lastly you'll have a great time, you get to meet new people, interact with them and have fun playing with them too.

Welp, here's my experience in playing MLBB and more to come but for now let's hear yours!! HAHAHAHA

[katsuflossy]

The Guys With Their Badass Kid

Synopsis: How would Class 1A’s Big Three raise/discipline their child.

Pairings:  Bakugo Katsuki x reader, Izuku Midoriya x reader, Todoroki Shouto x reader

A/N: Shout out to my two years old niece! This goes out to you for being a little smug rascal. Anyways since I’m the situation of a kid going through their terrible twos then why not make a hc about it. My niece’ll model all these little kids :) someone please save me

💥 Karma got Bakugo bad. And by bad I mean bad.

💥You wished you would’ve married a man with better karma but it’s Bakugo so 🤷🏽‍♀️.

💥 He knew he was badass child, disobedient, potty-mouthed, bossy little— you get the point.

💥 But for his little girl to be 10x worse, not even if it was prophesied in his dream he couldn’t prepare for her terrible twos.

💥 “Khia what do you have in your hand?” The toddler just continued swirling whatever she had in her hand, some of it breaking off on the floor. “Khia, bring what’s in your hand.” Radio silence, as if he wasn’t talking to her. “Khia! I said- What the fuck is that?!”

💥 Turns out you shouldn’t curse around kids because Khia kept saying ��What the fwuck?” after everything. All thanks to Bakugo.

💥 “What did I tell you about cursing around Khia! She went to daycare today calling at Yashiro and calling him a dumbass!” “Well, tell engine calves to not let his son hang around my little girl!” “They’re friends!” “Friends my ass!”

💥Ofcourse she went to daycare the next day declaring Yashiro is “my ass.”

💥 You tried discussing the best way to scold her. Bakugo defs believe in corporal punishment, even thought it didn’t work for him.

💥Mans is ready to pull out the good ole belt. The slightest utterance of a curse word he’ll put that shit from under him.

💥 “Fu-“ “Oi! What was that!” The belt just magically appears in his hand through manifestation.

💥 If you don’t believe in corporal punishment, he’ll just put her on time out, a lot.

💥 Either way he rarely uses physical punishment unless she does something very serious that deserves a pat on her behind.

💥 Loves his little girl regardless.

🥦 If he’s not working, regardless of being exhausted or not. He’s chilling with his little boy.

🥦 He’s a helicopter dad and it doesn’t even matter because his three year old would just ignore him if he keeps telling his son what to do to try keep him safe.

🥦 “Toshinori? What do you have in your hand?”

🥦 “A KNIFE!” I’m just playing Toshinori would ignore the shit out of him whether it was a knife or not.

🥦 If it was something dangerous, he’ll just One for All his way across to room to inspect what he had before speeding away with it, nagging about how his son should be way more careful. If it’s not dangerous but something he shouldn’t play with, he’ll just ask him to give him whatever he has. But Midoriya is not in any way demanding about it.

🥦 You know the reaction when your mother says “I’m calling your father” and the kid pees their pants? Yeah, that is the opposite for Midoriya. He has to use you as in order for Toshinori to behave. I hc that Deku would name his son Toshinori.

🥦 “U-um Toshi can I have the bracelet please? It’s for your mom and I can’t play with it.” Complete radio silence as response. “Toshi, may I please have the bracelet?” Again no response. “Toshinori! Give me the bracelet or else I am calling your mother.”

🥦 The bracelet was given up before he could say something else. You’re just the strict parent you in the house whether you wanted or not.

🥦 You talked to Izuku about putting his foot down and to a certain point he did.

🥦 He’d put Toshinori on time out for ten minutes.

🥦 Not even three minutes in and he tells Toshinori he’s off of timeout and goes to hug his crying son.

🥦 Them tears are fake as hell. Even your son knows how to manipulate you, Deku.

🥦 Just face it, you’re the enforcer in the house 🤷🏽‍♀️.

🧊 Mane I love this boy.

🧊 And his daughter loves him too. Akira’s a little Daddy’s girl.

🧊So all the bad behavior was left for you. Could’ve sworn you weren’t the one who birthed her or you were a step mom the way she doesn’t listen to you.

🧊 “Akira, I told you a thousand times to stop jumping on the couch. Sit down” She continues to jump on the couch like she didn’t hear you. “Okay then keep jumping.” She doesn’t continue to jump but she just stands, still not sitting down. “How about you keep standing and jumping?”

🧊 You thought you caught her with that one right? No because instead of jumping or standing, she started stomping all over the couch, kicking the cushions and sending them to your side of the room.

🧊Bruh but as soon at Shoto walks in, she’s sittng down nicely, watching and laughing with Mickey on the tv 😒. (You can tell I’ve experienced this can you?)

🧊 He never really experienced her temper tantrums until one day.

🧊 You both go to pick her up from kindergarten because Shoto had the day off and it was the first time he could pick her up ever since the new school year.

🧊 He went to park the car while you entered the building. Akira ran up to your figure and jumped into your arms. Her cute curly hair tickling your chin as she gave you a big hug.

🧊 Something ain’t right here.

🧊 “Mommy can I get ice cream?” Ah, there it is. That was what that big ass hug was for.

🧊 “Maybe after dinner, baby. Then you could have whatever ice cream you want.” “But I want it now.” “Not now honey.”

🧊 After your third “Not now,” the demon popped out. She started to have a temper tantrum, stomping on the ground, rolling on the floor and throwing down whatever toy was closest to her.

🧊 Todoroki walked in on the scene and not even raising his voice, he said “Akira. To the car. Now.” Ass boutta feel like Texas now.

🧊 Didn’t punish her, instead he talked to her. A very long y’all while you waited outside the car for it to be over.

🧊 As soon as you entered the car, Akira came to give you the biggest hug and said “I’m sorry mommy” in the cutest voice known to man.

🧊 Ever since that talk she hardly gave y’all trouble. Her attitude did a 180°.

🧊 And the craziest part was that Shoto said they just talked. That’s it.

🧊 But let’s be honest, he could talk to any woman and they’ll do anything for him🤷🏽‍♀️.

[goldendaydna]

This is just a post of me vaguely gesturing at things 87, 03, and 12 Leo has done with his “I don’t even know how to describe but I know it’s not smart” energy

‘Hey guys I'm gonna check out an alien sighting meet up place alone and not bother to at the very least take a disguise with me’

Spent entire nights in an arcade to beat one game he just *had* to beat the game and risked being discovered.

*Get's lost and doesn't have his fam there with him, Screams and gets more lost* ((This poor guy gets lost so much in 87 it’s pretty sad, directionally challenged and gets tunnel vision))

I mean sure he once got hit by a personality altering ray to make him more fun but that doesn’t change the fact that he deada** left a note to his fam that said "Ciao babies I'm off to have a good time.   L" and that’s a whole mood

Mr. how can I find some way to solve my problems by using or throwing my katana in some way or form

87 Leo had memory issues and no one can tell me otherwise, there was even an episode that addressed the boys neglecting parts of taking care of themselves and like Donnie with his eyesight, Mikey with his ungodly amount of eating, I think Raph with some form of laziness? and I’m pretty sure Leo didn’t really get told anything; anyways so they see themselves in the future and their neglect turned into major issues in their old age and yeah Leo was so upset that he “... turned into a befuddled old coot” so yeah the universe just looked at blue boi and said lol yeah sorry bro

'I can avoid questions and situations by asking other questions and using kindness'

Threw lipsticks on a toaster painting for target practice

His turtle com voice mail at one point was: :D "Hi, this is Leonardo, I can't answer the turtle com right now, I'm off on a nightmare adventure from which I may never return." :D

Oop there goes the steering wheel ((This also happens more than once when he drives))

Got over his fear of snakes out of pure spite cuz two kids called him a coward and a snake man said snakes were better than turtles

“Ok, it’s not regular mail. I guess Mikey would call it *mimickes Mikey’s voice* Air Mail.”

Susceptible to peer pressure

He totally practices his hero lines

‘Lol a snake can’t fight! no hands or legs! *OOF*..... the risk I took was calculated but man am I bad at math‘

'Guys this sounds like a bad ide-' 'SHADDUP LEO'

Started a fight with Raph because "GIVE IT BACK!"

“YIKES! Excuse me sensei” because yes Leo, saving your dad from getting hit by a vehicle could possibly inconvenience him.

Kissed not one, but two plungers before realizing to his horror that yes he just kissed two plungers.

*Threw one of the biggest kiddie temper tantrums I have ever seen in a cartoon* like no lie he was on the floor and everything.

Mikey: Look, a glitch!  Leo: Beg your pardon? (Thought Mikey said b***h, or that he may have called him or Donnie one, I dunno but it happened.) 

His sport equipment of choice was a frigging scooter, nuff said.

'I AM SULKING AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT'

Talks to himself a lot and I respect that

'I am a failure and should not exist.'

He tries pretty hard to look cool.

Pouty frowny mc’pouter boi when he’s either annoyed or not amused or embarrassed

Reprimanded his brothers about silence then proceeded to fall off a roof and make all the noise in the world.

Leo: What’s going on? Donnie: I’m having the weirdest dream. Leo: You can’t be dreaming,*I’m* here. Donnie: CUZ I’M DREAMING YOU! (｀Д´) Leo: (¬､¬) *Maybe I’m dreaming you but you’re not dreaming me* ( ｰ`дｰ´) Donnie: (¬_¬)

"Halt villain!" holy stars he’s such a geek.

"Just like space heroes!" Leo’s relationship with this old cartoon in general. You legit just put the show on and he is just glued to it, he knows the lines, the scenes, just everything and tries to incorporate it in his everyday life and even missions.

A little girl told him about pinkies up when drinking tea ONCE and now it’s a mandatory practice.

He walked up to a seemingly harmless creature, said "mop mop" to mimic it then poked the thing and got his butt kicked; and this was AFTER he said “New rule no one touch anything.”

“You have a pineapple for a head!” *Looks and sounds shocked at the fact that he’s hallucinating Donnie’s head indeed being a pineapple but not as shocked as one would think*

*Mimics the weird Krang talk and makes a ‘Heh heh I am so funny’ face* ‘Hmm? Oh sorry, anyway-’

“Window cleaner on! Window cleaner off”

This blue dummy thought it was a good idea to hit on some random lady on a completely different hostile planet

The idea or even concept of him having shellacne just seems to offend him

“WE YOKAI WILL STEAL ALL OF YOUR SOULS, THROUGH YOUR BUTT!!! MWUA HA HA!!” ((I can just hear Donnie thinking “It’s important to be accurate” while his brother said that))

Bruh, I swear Leo seems like he lives in a constant state of dissociation like at least 87% of the time, like he’s there enough to where he can answer to people and take actions but he’s not entirely there. 

Tried to catch toast with a plate ((Never ask 2012 Leo, Raph, and Donnie to make breakfast together it’s just gonna end poorly))

And this isn’t even covering everything there is so much more but this post is already long enough.

[tastingmellow]

Pushing

A/N: it’s part two to a request I did a while back. I’ll reblog it after I post this so you guys can read them in order! This is for @thickemadame !

Summary: Erik is an ass and gets what he deserves.

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Black!Reader

Warnings: Erik is a jackass. ERIK GETS HIS ASS BEAT. That is all.

Word Count: Don’t know, why do you even bother looking at this part?

—————————

“Yeah, and then he kissed me.” You paced back and forth in front of Jeremy as he sat, legs spread out while he watched you. “You’re gonna set the floor on fire with all that pacing, baby.” You stopped and looked at him, dropping your arms. “Are you not taking this seriously?” Jeremyshook his head and stood up, his height towering over you as he rubbed your arms. “I am taking it seriously but I rather conceal my anger for a moment and let you get your emotions out.”

You looked up at him and sighed, plopping down on the couch. “I’m mad. Pissed even. Why the fuck would he do that?! And after I told him I was happy!” Jeremy slipped his hands into the pockets of his sweats and shrugged. “It’s like you said. He was a selfish asshole, ma. Don’t let that shit get to you. What happened after he kissed you?”

“Well, I was shocked for a moment but when I realized what was happening I slapped him and pulled away. Gave him a few choice words, got in my car and left.” Jeremy nodded and sat beside you, rubbing your back before pulling your body against his. “I’m not gon’ lie to you, baby. I’m pissed that the nigga had the nerve to touch you at all. But...I think the two of you should talk. At least about what happened and why it happened.”

You bit your lip, playing with the strings attached to his sweatpants. “Maybe. I just...he friend zoned ME. Why the fuck would he do that?” Jeremy shrugged and gently played with your curls. “Probably because he’s done it before and it worked with other girls. So he figured it would work with you too.” You looked up at him and he glanced down at you, a gentle smile on his face. “I see why I’m with you. You’re not just pretty.” You spoke and Jeremy leaned his head back, letting out a laugh. “Oh, that makes me feel good, Princess. Thank you.”

“Oh and here’s another reason.” You gestured to the very poorly hidden print of his outer appendage and he looked down. “And the truth comes out. I’m still just a piece of meat to you.” You smacked his chest and giggled before standing up. “I’m gonna go make dinner.” Jeremy lazily tapped your ass, watching your figure walk away while he bit his lip. “When your done, can you make dessert too?”

You nodded. “Yes, only because I feel generous. What do you want?” You looked over your shoulder, smiling at him. “You.” Jeremy shot you a bright, white smile and you chuckled before winking. “Well, only because you’ve been so sweet and you’ve been my voice of reason.”

_____________

You called Erik shortly after dinner and explained to him in minimal words that the two of you needed to speak. You gave him a time and place, not wanting to have to speak with him longer than necessary and hung up the phone. He told you he’d make the reservation. It was as short as you hoped it been.

“You want me to be there?” Jeremy asked quietly while lightly tracing his fingers over your shoulders. You shook your head and hugged his large body closer to you. He chuckled and ran his finger over your head full of curls. “You don’t need to be. I don’t expect anything extreme to happen. And if it does happen you work like 5 minutes away.”

Jeremy laughed and tightened his hold on you. “I’m assuming you did that on purpose.” You nodded. “I know Erik. His ego is huge and even though he is relatively harmless, he throws tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants.” You sighed and Jeremiah kissed your forehead, letting the kiss linger.

“Just call me if you need me then.” You nodded and kissed his lips. He pulled your body closer to his, dipping you down a bit causing a giggle to bubble out of your chest. Your nails scratched at his beard and he pulled away, smiling down at you. “I’ll see you later, baby.”

You nodded and pecked his lips again before he walked to his car. You waved to him as he pulled off before turning around and walking inside. You made your way to the hostess, giving her a polite smile. “Hi, I’m here to meet a friend of mine. Stevens?” She nodded and led you to the table and sure enough he was sitting there. “What can I get you to drink?” She asked kindly and you gave her another smile. “Just a water for now.”

You sighed looking at Erik and he gave you a weary half grin. “Hey, uh, you look great.” You nodded and gave him small smile. “Thank you. You as welll.” He nodded, picking at his palm. “How’s things with uh...Jeremy? He seems like a great guy.” You nodded in agreement. “He is. I remember telling you that. Which is why I don’t get why you felt kissing me would be appropriate. Even after you friend zoned me.”

“And there it is...” Erik spoke, looking down at the menu in front of him. “Yeah, there it is. That’s what I’m here for. To get an understanding of what demon possessed you into thinking kissing me was the proper thing to do when I was gushing over my boyfriend moment prior.” Erik took in a deep breath, looking up at you with a slightly irritated look in his eye.

“No, you don’t get to give me that look. You were the one that fucked up. You were the one that attempted to play me and use me because you saw I wasn’t sulking about you rejecting me. So, give me the damn truth. I already know it. But you need to say it.”

Erik scoffed, shaking his head as you took a sip of your water. “What do you want me to say? I already told you I’m sorry and I really don’t know what else you want me to do.” You looked at him, revelation and disbelief taking over your features. “Are you kidding me right now? You don’t see the issue in you kissing a person that you clearly have no feelings for, the only reason being because you want control and power over who you THINK should be miserable?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? It was an accident and I said I was sorry. This ain’t got shit to do with me wanting ‘power’ over you.” You shook your head, biting your cheek. “Stop bullshitting me, Erik.”

“Bullshitting you? Don’t. Because last I remember you were trying to get at me and what? You’re all of a sudden over it? You ain’t even like a nigga forreal in the first place.” You tilted your head. Did this nigga just—? He did, sis. He did. You stood to your feet, grabbing your phone and keys. “I’m not about to sit here and try to explain something to you that you obviously don’t get. You weren’t interested! What the fuck do I need to hold on to you for?” Your voice began to raise. You reached in your pocket and left a tip for your waitress.

You turned around, walking toward the door with Erik close behind you. The moment you stepped outside he gripped your arm. “Fucking listen to me.” You tried yanking your arm from but his grip tightened. “Get your fucking hands off me, Nigga. I’m not about to let you take me out my fucking character.”

“I’ll let you go when you listen to me.” Erik huffed out and you continued to try to pry he hands from you. “Or you could let her go now.” You turned to the voice, visibly relaxing as you spotted Jeremy making his way toward you in his nicely fitted dark jeans, white t-shit, and gold chain swinging with each step.

Erik’s hand dropped from your bicep and you leaned against your car, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. “Look man, all due respect. This ain’t got shit to do with you. This is between me and her. “ Jeremy shook his head, stopping in front of you. “Well, you know, when I’m making my way up here to see how my girl’s doing and I see her ex-best friend gripping her arm, I get worried and then all this shit? Becomes my business. Now, step back or we gon’ have an issue.”

You looked up, lightly rubbing your hand over Jeremy’s back as Erik clenched his fist. “This really don’t concern you man just let me talk to her.” Erik took a step toward you and Jeremy placed his large hand on Erik’s chest. “I said, no. I’d hate to hurt you, bruh. Just keep it moving.” Erik glanced down at his hand, pushing it off his chest.

Everything happened a bit too quickly. It started with Erik pushing Jeremy and ended with Erik on the ground, blood running from his nose and a scowl on his face. Jeremy’s fist clenched and unclenched a few times, his large body heaving. You sighed and politely helped Erik to his feet before pulling his shirt over his nose. “Go to the hospital, Erik. But don’t mistake me helping you up as me saying I forgive you. I don’t. You’re selfish, egotistical, and you’re an asshole. You proved that to me today. Delete my number, unfollow me on all social media, delete my damn email. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

You let him go, taking Jeremy’s hand and the two of you walked away to your car. Erik expected you to turn back, give him a fleeting look but the only time you did turn was to stop and to give Jeremy a kiss of gratitude. He’d never been an expert at reading lips but he could clearly tell, even through the large smile on your face that you were thanking Jeremy. Thanking him for standing up for you. Thanking him for being there for you. Thanking him being everything Erik wasn’t.

—————————

@destinio1 @ljstraightnochaser @chaneajoyyy @raysunshine78 @shookmcgookqueen @tip222u @bakarilennox @here-for-your-bullshit @asweet-serendipity @l-auteuse @thickemadame @liyahshaeking @toniilaney @simscrazyfangirl @blackpinup22 @bitchacho25 @furiousduckpeach @shegoego @eye-raq @goddessofthundathighs @doublesidedscoobysnacks @soufcakmistress @ladye103 @artsninspo @chasingsunlight22 @nickidub718 @rbhp @chefjessypooh @brwn-sgr @calif0rnia-lovers @thehomierobbstark @writerbee-ffs

[writingforjoy]

Chapter One: The Interview

At long last, ladies and gentlemen, I give you a very rough draft of the first chapter of (Im)Mortal! I hope you enjoy~

p.s I promise it looks better in docs💀🤦🏽‍♀️

@orchidalienscribbler @alexprompts @rhikasa @morganwriteblr @stephrawlingwrites @wiseauthorowl @givethispromptatry

       Mallory and I were over my cousin Cassidy’s house one weekend, working on a project that neither of us like and only Cassidy had experience with. We were in Cas’ room when Mallory shot up from Cas’ bed and looked at me with a huge grin on her face. “Hey bruh, let’s do something while we wait on Chef.”

The smile on her face told me that whatever she was planning had to be worth getting into trouble. “What is it my bold and bored friend?”

“Let me interview you.”

“Seriously? Right now?”

“Yeahp. Just tell me your life story…okay maybe not, like, yo whole life but the um...most eventful? Yeah we’ll go with that.”

I shook my head and laughed. “Wooow, okay then. Should I include Skyla or nah?”

“Was the meeting eventful?”

“I found her in the woods. She liked me. I liked her. Then she became my precious baby lamb.”

“Save it for our next interview. It’ll be our pet edition.”

“Alright, cool. Ssoooo...how am I starting this off?”

Mallory rolled her eyes and tossed one of Cas’ pillows at me. “Witcha name ya dumb duck!”

“Rruuuuuude. ...But what about her?”

She sat quietly on the bed, thinking about the question. “Ummm...I don’t know? Just roll with it I guess?” She took her phone out and started recording me as I fidgeted around on the floor messing with our dying project.

“Okay then, here goes nothing.” I took a deep breath to relax myself. “Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the demon of a town called Easthaven.”

“Okay, Will, let’s get it then!” She said laughing.

My name is Helouise. I was born with clay-red skin, eyes the color of golden topazes, and raven black hair. I’ve been told a few times that ‘Helouise’ wasn’t supposed to be my name, but ‘ELouise’ instead to kinda match my mom’s name ‘Ellen’. So whoever wrote my name on my birth certificate misheard her completely. Lucky for them I had a great grandmother with that name. So my whole name is ‘Helouise Nevaeh Piercemen’, which I think is kinda amusing. My middle name, ‘Nevaeh’, is ‘Heaven’ spelled backwards.

         Growing up I was known as the ‘Problem Child’, as most other parents called me. I honestly was a hot-headed little girl. Whenever I would throw a tantrum, my parents would often give me ‘soothing potions’ calm me down. To some parents’ disbelief, I wasn’t as spoiled as they thought I might’ve been. My parents raised me just as like any other parents would raise their own children (just a little bit overprotective), but I didn’t feel as if they actually loved me all the time. So I would call them ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’ to irritate them often. It didn’t bother them much as I had hoped though, they just laughed it off.

“Pfft, but why would you do that?” Mallory asked through her giggles.

“Bruh I don’t know! I was an evil lil shit I guess.” I said laughing with her.

         When I first started school in fourth grade, all the other kids there just stared or stayed away from me. I could tell that they were afraid of me. I was afraid of them too honestly. I was homeschooled at first, and had never been to a school before until then. Someone had talked my parents into thinking that I should go out and make friends, prove to people that I’m not as weird or awkward as they thought I was. So, I was just as scared of my classmates as they were of me. I wasn’t wearing my shades back then, so I believe that it was mostly the color of my eyes that either scared people away or was the reason I got bullied a lot. No one stood up for me except my new teacher Ms. Wrangler. The old one mysteriously disappeared one day and she was there the next day. She was always there to comfort and protect me from the other kids, she was the nicest person to me in to whole school. She had always made me feel special at the end of the day, telling me that I had nothing to worry about as long as I stayed with her. On days when I didn’t eat in the cafeteria, she would go out and buy me food to eat and we’d eat in the classroom together. She would even buy me things ‘just because’, and told me not to tell anyone. I really liked her, I felt more love from her than I did either of my parents, so I did what I was told. Then one day she told me that she wanted to take me somewhere special and that I would need permission from my parents to go. So, she handed me a slip saying that the class was going to the local science museum.

On the day of the ‘field trip’, we didn’t go to the science museum. She took me to a park outside of town and said that we were going on a nature walk. Whenever she looked at me, I thought it was funny that her eyes had changed from their normal bright blue color to red, but I was young and didn’t know better. Later that evening she said that today was going to be my last day with her. I didn’t understand what she meant and couldn’t ask, somehow I had blacked out after that. All I remember after that is waking up in my dad’s car, being held tightly by my mom with her crying ‘I won’t…not again’, then I went back to sleep.  We moved from our first home later that week with the help of my uncle. I tried asking them what happened to my teacher, but all they would say was ‘We’ll explain it when you’re older’.

After being homeschooled again for a few years, and after being told some strict rules and to never take off my shades for anyone, I was allowed back into school. I was in high school by then, and I was lucky enough to make a few friends, even though others continued to stare and judge me whenever they thought I wasn’t around or couldn’t hear them, but I didn’t care as much as I did when I was little. So I thought things were finally looking up for me. Then again, what would high school be without a few surprises?

         One day while I was in biology class, I was called into the office and was told that my dad was coming to pick me up.  Since it was close to Christmas break, I thought we were taking an early vacation, but as soon as my dad got there and we made it to the hospital, all thoughts of any vacations were gone. For fourteen years, I’ve been alone and gotten used to being an only child, then my parents decided to go and add a new kid in the mix. I was never fond of the thought of having a sibling, let alone a sister, and this one caught me by surprise. I never noticed mama’s stomach getting big (even though she was a ‘stay at home mom’) and they never told me. They said that they wanted to surprise everyone. When I first saw the baby, she had deep blue eyes and rosy cheeks, and small tufts of hair that looked so shiny at the time they thought it was golden. She was such a beautiful baby…I didn’t like her. I hated how normal and happy she looked. Then they told me her name. They named her Rose.

A beautiful name for a baby girl. Was I so ugly when I was born that my parents let me have an ugly name? I thought to myself. Is she even that pretty to deserve a name like that?

I was so angry that I started to hate Rose. She looked normal and they gave her a normal name, and the way that they were looking at her, with so much love and affection, made me hate her even more. Mama tried giving Rose to me, but I didn’t take her. I was too angry. Then my dad rushed over to me, held me close while brushing my hair back, and told me to calm down before I set off the alarms. I pushed him away and ran out the room, I ran into the nearest bathroom I could find and curled up in the corner of it and cried. I cried from the anger and from the feeling that my parents weren’t happy with me, let alone loved me. A moment later, my dad opened the door and peeped in. When he saw me, he came and hugged me, saying things like ‘We still love you’ and ‘We thought you’d be happy to have a little sister or brother’ and other things that I barely heard. Once I stopped crying, I noticed a burned hole on his jacket and asked how that happened. He laughed and said his stupid cigarette lighter button had been pressed earlier when he wasn’t paying attention. Daddy was a frequent smoker, so I believed him. He brought me back into mama’s freezing room. I still didn’t want to hold Rose, but I was curious about her cheeks. So I asked mama if I could touch them, and she said yes. I placed a finger on one of her cheeks and jumped back a little as she laughed at me. Rose’s cheeks were ice cold. She said that it was just the room, but it didn’t matter. I still didn’t like her, and I had already made up my mind that I wouldn’t have anything to do with her (as less as possible anyway).

The next surprise, which I’d like to call ‘The Train Wreck’, happened almost immediately after I turned sixteen a few months ago. The first thing was that Rose’s hair wasn’t blonde after all, but instead it was white like our dad’s hair. I figured that it was some genetic mutation like the color of me and Mama’s eyes. Another thing was that I actually kind of liked the idea of having a sister and I kinda liked her, even though she was a brat at times. The last thing happened one day after school. My parents, Rose, and I were meditating in the basement (well Rose was half-asleep holding her new, blueberry scented teddy bear). I was really thinking about the ugly sofa that Mama had bought last week. For the first time ever, I had a few friends coming over to study and hang out in a few days, and the first thing they would see when they came in would be that disgusting, over brightly dyed hippie couch. My parents needed a new couch, but couldn’t really afford one after they had redecorated Rose’s room. I knew and understood that, but the couch was so damn hideous that the neighborhood cat my parents like to let in every so often wouldn’t even piss on it.

There has to be a way to talk them into getting new couch! I’ll be embarrassed for life if my friends saw that hideous thing. They need to get rid of it! Uugh, I hate that stupid looking couch!

If you hate the couch as much as you say you do, then do something about it. I jolted my head up and scanned the room, but no one else was there other than my folks, so I thought that I was just imagining things. You’re not imagining it, I’m the…’other’ you, I’ve just woken up from a peaceful sleep. If you hate the couch then get rid of it.

What do you mean ‘the other me’? And just how am I gonna to get rid of it?

Haven’t you figured it out yet? The reason why you look the way you do. Don’t you think you were destined to do something great in your life? I’m the…’special’ side of you. An active subconscious, if you like. We’re a special girl Helouise. Did you know that we can manipulate fire?

“I can do what?!” I blurted out. Mom and Dad looked at me with startled faces and Rose fell over backwards. I quickly apologized and went back to trying to meditate.

The subconscious giggled. Of course we can, all you have to do is concentrate on the couch, speed up the molecules, and imagine it bursting into flames… or something along the lines like that at least.

I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, what if instead of burning the couch I, and I hope it doesn’t happen, burn down the house?

What do you have to lose? Our parents got the extended warranty or whatever on it anyway and if something does happen to it, they have the money to get a new one! You could even convince them to get something better than that. And what if the house burns down? It’ll be even better since you’ll be able to get a better house than this dump we’re in now. Besides, no one will get hurt in the process, we’re not that strong yet, promise~

I thought it over on what she said and decided to give it a shot. If she’s right then no one will get hurt and we’ll be getting a new couch. I wished that I was going crazy, but I hated the couch so much that I started imagining myself setting fire to it. It’d be a win-win for me if everything went ok. Minutes later, the smoke alarm went off. We rushed upstairs into the living room and saw that the sofa was on fire. Daddy rushed to get the fire extinguisher in the kitchen while Mama set Rose down and ran to the hallway to try and activate the sprinklers and yelled for me to watch Rose who was already stumbling towards the blazing couch. I, on the other hand, stood there watching in amazement.

See?! You did it! Don’t try to stop it now, just let the couch burn!

I can’t just let it burn! I’m gonna try to stop it now, it’s burned enough anyway. And besides, Rose will get hurt if she gets to close. I thought after I yanked Rose away from the couch and set her beside me.

Then let her burn too. You never liked her anyway; she’s nothing but a pest. Remember, she’s the one that replaced you and took what little love your parents had for you. It’ll be all over quickly if you push her into the fire. Just push her towards it and hold her there. She’ll be the only one being burned if that’s what you’re worried about. Haven’t you realized yet that temperature doesn’t affect you? So if you touch it, you won’t get burned genius.

Are you insane?! It doesn’t matter if I like the little brat or not, she’s my sister! I can’t kill her, Mama and Daddy would kill me if I did!

ONLY because you killed what was precious to them! Think about it: they don’t love you anymore, they don’t care about you, and you know it. That’s why they replaced you.  …Look at you, if you really couldn’t kill her like you said, then why are you slowly pushing her towards the fire?

I looked down to see that Rose was only inches away from the fire again, but it was me pushing her towards it. “Rose you little idiot!” I yanked her back again and took several steps back from the couch.

Why don’t you just go ahead and do it? You were almost there; she could’ve been dead by now! You can’t deny the fact that you want to kill her.

“Shut up and leave me alone!” I said loudly. Okay Helouise, just take some deep breaths, and concentrate on the fire…and don’t touch Rose. I concentrated on the fire on the sofa, and imagined the flames getting smaller. Then Mama and Daddy finally came back just in time to see that I was already making the fire go away. They stood there with a worried look for a moment, and then asked me calmly if I was the one who put the fire out.

“Yes, but I caused it too. The thing is I don’t know exactly how I did it, I just” -Maybe I shouldn’t tell them about the voice…maybe I’m just going insane- “I just thought about burning the sofa like the voice said at first and then making the fire small. But why did this have to happen in my junior year, just when everyone was thinking I was normal, just when they finally accepted me? Why am I hearing this cynical voice inside me head?!” I cried while looking at them. They told me that they knew I was going to have my powers fully awakened, just didn’t know when. Then they told me that I had fire-powers since I was young and that I just couldn’t remember them. Then I showed signs of it when I was about three and threw terrible tantrums. Then I remember the day that Rose was born, when Daddy was telling me about the alarms and came into the bathroom with the hole on his jacket, and then I became angry.

“So that day when Rose was born, tell me Father, what did you mean about the alarms? And what really happened to your jacket?” I asked looking directly at him. His face went from a calm expression to a shocked one as he mumble something about my eyes. “I didn’t ask about my eyes, tell me what really happened the day that Rose was born!” I yelled. He told me that when I was upset, my hair was slowly turning into flames and I was standing by some posters that were right under the smoke detector. Then he told me that when I pushed him away, I burned a hole through his jacket and almost his shirt. Then Mama started speaking, but I couldn’t hear her, my mind was too busy processing what I just heard. They lied to me, that’s why they kept giving me those potions when I was younger; they knew something was wrong about me from the very beginning! I’m just a weird accident to them; they never loved me enough to tell me the truth.

To be honest, they probably never really loved you at all. Why else do you think they had her Helouise? Don’t you remember how they were looking at her and how pretty she was?

I remembered how they were looking at Rose in that hospital room and became infuriated. That’s why they had another child, they never loved me, they probably never even wanted me in the first place, they wanted a normal, beautiful girl! Another little girl that they could truly love! I felt Rose trying to give me her teddy bear, but I was too angry and knocked it away from her and she began to cry.

“Helouise, look what you’ve done!” Mama called out rushing past me.

“So what if the stupid bear is burning?!” I cried wiping the tears from my face. “You two lied to me almost all my life and then tried to replace me with that stupid brat! And now all you care about is some stupid bear and-” I looked behind myself to point at Rose, but I stopped as mama rushed past me again with Rose in her arms, holding and kissing on her hand. I noticed a small burn mark on Rose’s wrist as she did. I just burned my sister. “Oh my god, I’m sorry! It was an accident, I swear!” I can’t believe I burned my little sister.

It felt good, didn’t it Helouise?

What did?

Setting things on fire, and of course, burning your sister. Feel a little proud of yourself, don’tcha?

…Just leave me alone.

I knew you’d enjoy that. You can’t hide it from me.

Will just go away already?!

Just think of how great you’d feel if you would just kill the lil brat already! It’d be fun, you’d-…wait a minute…do you smell that Helouise? It smells like we’re not the only one with magic in here. Helouise, we gotta have that power.

Suddenly my dad came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t touch me!” I yelled, bumping into the hanging fern and causing it to burn too.  Then I moved away from him and the fern.

That’s it! That’s where the power is coming from! You can take his power for yourself if you touch him. Drain his power. That’s all it takes.

I do want that power. Why haven’t I noticed it before?

You never noticed because he knows how to conceal his power, and you couldn’t sense it, you didn’t know how to sense other people's magic. But now that I’m awake, we can sense other peeps magic a little!. All you have to do to get their power is drain it from them.

…I really do want that power; it smells sooo good. Whatever it is, I need that power.

Then drain him. I reached for my dad’s hand pretending to want to hold it for comfort. Kill Daddy for his magic. I drew my hand back quickly before grabbing his hand. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

ARE YOU CRAZY?! “Dad get away from me!”

 JUST KILL HIM!! 

“I can’t kill my Dad!” As bad as I wanted his power, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t kill my own dad. He told me to calm down but I couldn’t. “Daddy, I just made our couch and our fern get on fire, and I burned my little sister and her bear! I can’t calm down! And look,” I pointed frantically towards the couch and the fern. “The couch is burning again and the fern is still on fire! I can’t control them!” I said panicking. He stepped towards me again with his hands out saying that everything was going to be ok.

He’s practically giving you his hands, just take them and kill him!!

“NO!!”

His power could be ours and we could be stronger!

“Daddy get back! I know you have powers I can smell it and the voice is trying to make me kill you for it and I’m trying not to so please just stay back!” We looked at the smoke alarm that finally went off and the built-in sprinklers turned on, but when I looked at the flames on the couch, nothing happened to the flames.

Quick! Do it now while he’s distracted!

“WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!” I shouted out flailing my hand out, pushing nothing away, and letting a fireball fly out of my once empty hands onto the faded blue curtains. Still the water from the sprinklers couldn’t make the fire die out. “See?! Even the water can’t put it out! What if the fire spread? What’s going to happen if the firefighters come and they can’t put it out? What if-” Then he swiftly approached me again and grabbed my shoulders, and an immense chill overcame me that caused my knees to buckle. Then he told me to calm down again, only more sternly. He told me that they know it was an accident.  It was their fault for not telling me about my magic sooner. He let me go and told me to look back at the couch. I looked at the smoldering couch and then turned quickly to see the burnt fern and the burnt curtain. He told me that I could do anything as long as I was calm. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out his lighter and tossed it towards the couch. He said that if the firefighters did come, they‘d find that, so I could stop worrying about them trying to find out who did it or what would happen if they stayed to long.

I looked back towards the kitchen where my mom and Rose were coming from and saw she had put some of the homemade healing salve on Rose’s wrist. I looked back to my dad and he told me that everything would be all right, then Mama said that we would start practicing to control my emotions and magic tomorrow.

The next day, to make sure that Rose didn’t get hurt or learn about our magic ‘too early’, my parents called and told my grandmother, my dad’s mother, what happened and asked if she could keep Rose for a while. She agreed, and she when she came over she smelled the same way as daddy did; just slightly different, but definitely stronger. The same urge came over me to drain her too as she and my dad walked in the house, but mama held on to me, and told me to focus on her scent and to tell her what it smelled like. Then Granny looked over at us with disgust as Daddy showed her to Rose’s room, and to tell her what was going on. I could feel the anger building up as she glared at us, but Mama covered my eyes and nose and told me repeatedly to calm down as she rocked me. A moment after she did that, we could hear Rose crying upstairs. She wasn’t willing to leave at first, but soon they convinced her that it was only for a little while, and that she was going to have a lot of fun with our granny. So she left with her, and it was just me and my parents once.

Afterwards, my parents told me the truth. The whole truth. First, they told me about the color of my eyes. Mom said that everyone on her side, including me, had the exact same eyes and that we’re demons, and the voice I heard was actually my inner demon, like an active conscious of sorts, that was implanted, given, or something by our many great grandfather, Guidry. She also said that some demons were born with the natural instinct to kill, to be truly ‘evil’, and they were mostly always the ‘upper level’ ones, but for us it was different and she couldn’t exactly explain why. Daddy said he wasn’t a demon, but he wasn’t a witch (or warlock…wizard, whichever they classify themselves as) either, but he could subdue people with a single touch. They didn’t know about Rose yet, and only time would tell if she’s was going to grow up to be normal or like one of them. Then Mama told me what happened Ms. Wrangler, and why I had to start wearing shades in public. Ms. Wrangler was a demon too. Everyone on mama’s side of the family were being hunted by other demons. They feared that we would become over powerful or somehow immortal, so they would catch and take us to the Upper Council where we’d either die from enslavement or something else entirely. So for whatever reason Ms. Wrangler had tried to kidnap me for, the end result wasn’t going to be good.

When Mama noticed that my scent had gone outside the city, they came after me. They saved me and had to kill Ms. Wrangler and the other demons that was there, and that’s why we had to move. Then Mama started blaming herself for not going to meet the woman herself when she first came into town.

After that, she helped me to gain control of my new ability and to quiet the voice inside. They had me to train with my power everyday. Soon, I was able to create fires and make them go away at will. The voice was still there, but she didn’t talk as much after that.

But still my grandmother didn’t bring Rose back. Mama called and asked her why, then I heard her gasp from the kitchen and I went to see what happened. I watched her as she was listening to whatever Granny was saying, and then she finally said that she understood and hung up the phone. Mama never told me what happened, but only said that we could visit her whenever we wanted. I thought that Rose had either gotten really sick or this had somehow became a custody battle. Even though I never really liked the brat at times, it still hurt to hear that Rose wasn’t coming home, and it made me feel that with my power being ‘fully awakened’, my granny didn’t trust for me to be around her. I regretted being a demon at all that day despite what the voice said otherwise. I saw no point in having this power if it only caused my parents pain and having my sister taken away. I could tell that her not being able to come back home yet had broken their heart. Then I promised myself that when she comes back, I would be the best big sister ever.

         “Wow...just wow. Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess I don’t like talking about it much.”

“Fair enough. Now just a few questions. Just two, I think, if you don’t mind ma’am?”

“Shoot.”

“You said that your Dad’s power had a scent? Is it just him or what?”

“Well, it’s more of a scent for him and not his magic? Like, I can smell it even when he’s not using it. And no, everyone has their own scent. I think I’m just now...paying attention to it? I mean, I probably noticed his and Mama’s scents before but never just...thought about it, if that makes sense?”

“Cool. So what’s my scent?”

“A sweet little cupcake.” I laughed as she groaned. “It’s not chocolate though, friend~”

“Thank you Jesus.” She mumbled. “Now, what about Rose? When was the last time you saw her?”

“We see each other everyday, sometimes Granny would bring her over, or we’d go over there to visit. Sometimes I don’t go though, cause I still don’t think she likes me.”

“That sucks. Do you still feel like you want to...you know, take their magic? Or anyone else’s?”

I shifted around the floor. “No comment.”

“Damn bruh...savage.” I snorted at her attempt to make things better. “So, final question! Do you think this is the end of your epic adventure? Has everything finally calmed the fuck down for you?”

“Oh my God yes and I hope it stays just like this forever.”

Silly girl, if you believe that then you should really know better. This is just the beginning of our adventure.

[sweetpeachjones]

Y.m.u.b pt 5

part 1/ pt. 2 / pt. 3/ pt.4

A/N: Erik is a reputable professor. He is well known as activist for the black lives matter movement and highly respected and is seen as a leader to the community.

"So what you saying Davida", "I'm saying CARL we need to end our little agreement." "But why, what have I done I gave you everything you wanted." "I know sweetie but it was going to end anyway."

I reached out to grabbed his face and he yanked it away. His face was turning all pinkish, his face contorted into what I believe was an ugly cry. God I hated this but I needed to cut him off. This thing I have with Erik is is pretty lucrutive plus I have other sugar daddies that's way more richer. A loud thump on the table and snapped back into what's going ...o yeah him.

"-i have left my wife and kids for you. I even paid for your condo and you gonna leave like. I love you Davida please don't do this.

I had enough of his pasty ass. I felt my full bladder urging me to go. This baby got me back and forth but luckly I'm not showing I had to cut off my other SD for now. But I gotten tired of Carl's ass and right now her gratting my nerves.

"Well I have to go got finals to study for." I said nonchalantly. I been down to give Carl a kiss goodbye on the cheek and he just stood there like he was in a trance. Oh well. I went to the bathroom and left to my Lexus LS 460 and drove home to my quiet condo in the hills. Being a sugar baby has it's perks. I typed in the security code and drove up the long drive way. I got out and took off my shoes and heading up the stairs. I gotta get ready for Erik this evening, daddy was supposed to direct deposit my monthly payment but texted n said he was coming here. Probably gonna drop some dick off too mhmm I can't wait. I filled my tub with some bath salt and sat in the relaxing suds.

"Looking mighty comfortable baby" I almost drowned out of fright when I look over to see my ex boyfriend Sean standing in the doorway.

"What the fuck! What the hell are you doing, how did u get in my house?"

"Aww don't be so shocked to see me babe like I said you can never get rid of me plus you have always have a bad habit about living windows open." He said calmed.

"Well you can't be here I have company coming"

"Another one of your johns, huh, see I was mad at first, sharing you with some old ass geezer but looking how u came up and plus ain't no nigga can hit that spot like I can." He said smugly while grabbing his dick through his pants.

Hmm that's what u think

"Well I'm going to need you to find a place to stay. Because you can't stay here. "

"Why not"

"Cuz I fucking said so I don't want you here. I want you gone." I said starting to wash.

He just laughed like we just had had a inside joke. "Baby come on stop tripping"

I stood up and was toweling off walking towards my room. As I walked past him he snatched my towel off and held me by the waist his lips were against my ear planting soft kisses. I'd be lying if I said I didn't missed his touch. "Get off me"

"Nope you think after I done been in jail for 5 years you walk past me naked and I gonna do anything. You got me fucked up" he began caressing my body, grabbing the thicker parts that has gained fat since the beginning of pregnancy. "You looking all thick and shit u put on some weight but I like." He said groping my breasts and rubbing my nipples. His tongue was running a trail from my ear to my collarbone making my body shiver. Damn these pregnancy hormones.

He reached down to my center rubbing my clit. "Damn yo shit soaked already" I just nodded already in complete extacy as my head laid on his shoulder.

He backed me up to the bed and laid me down. He immediately got on his knees in between my legs and spread my lips with his fingers and his tongue made a swipe from my opening to my clit and sucked on like a popsicle. I shuddered at the familar feeling.

His tongue was doing figure eights each time ended with my clit sucked. I bucked my hips and he just followed where I went I rode his face for three minutes til I had an earth shattering orgasm. "Damn that was fast but I want you get one more turn over." I quickly obeyed. "Get on your knees" I tooted my ass and his mouth attacked like it was last meal.

The sensation was enough to push me over the edge as he lick and sucked my ass.His hands were gripping and slapping my ass cheecks as the sounds of the room were filled with his lewd sucking and my moans.

I was so close when I heard my doorbell ring then I heard pounding same time my phone was blowing up. I told Sean to hold as I got up to answer the phone after seeing Erik face on the screen.

"Hello," I said in irritated. Erik completely matched my attitude. "Yo open this damn door, you hear me outside." I heard someone's voice near him so I know he is not alone. "Okay hear I come." I hung up the phone and went to grab my robe. As I about to leave my room I told Sean to stay put and don't come out.

"You got to fuck him"

"No, he just dropping off some money"

"Damn boo you got it like that," he chuckled, "well gon get our paper n come back so I can dick you down"

I just rolled my eyes and began heading downstairs.

EARLIER THAT SAME DAY

"Fuck Erik im about to cum!" You yelled as Erik pumped into you. You clawed at the sheets as ur legs were over his shoulders. His mouth was making deep passion marks on your neck, while a vibrating ring on his dick teased you both but your clit more. All these senations were driving you tears.

Don't fucking cum till I say so," he began kissing you biting on you lower lip. He grabbed your hands and interlock your fingers as he sped up. He knew u were dangerously close and so he.

Please daddy let me cum,". " Come on this dick baby" in an instant your legs went limp and your eyes roll back. Your muscles walls contract and tightens while ur juices seem to expell from your body. You were squirting soaking up the sheets and each other. Erik was right behind you shivering making the most ugly face he could muster, as you felt his hot semen fill you up. You squeezed your kegal muscles and pumped him dry. You almost wanted to laugh at how his body was spazzing each time you jerk.

He collasped on top of you and even though it was so hot n y'all were both sweaty you enjoyed his closeness. He reached down and took the now annoying vibrator ring off. He slid down to ur stomach planting kisses and resting while you lazily played with his hair.

"We gonna have send Dr. Angela a hella thank you card and fruit basket."

You chuckled, "I agree that ring was a good suggestion."

You and Erik have been to counseling to rectify your strained marriage. After the argument you were still distant almost til the point of moving out however you decided against not to have your business all out in public. You started to self cope on alcohol piting yourself thinking this is all your fault after he explained that the reason he stepped out was that he was feeling neglected during your depression. Which was due to your miscarriages, which was no one fault but you felt like you could have prevented in some way.

The night Erik had to pick you up from a bar because you were too drunk too

drive was the last straw. He was tired of see you self destruct and knew he was the reason. So he brought you home nursed you back to health the next day after your serious hangover and began finding some marriage counselors. He wanted the marriage to work in spite of infidelity.

A month later here you guys still with issues but you can stand being in the room with him and have sex without bitterness. However he still gets paranoid when he take a shower by himself.

"Come let's shower together" he begged sweetly.

"Nah bae go ahead", you said sleepily.

He looked around the room for any oliy substance he could find or belt or extensions cords. You laughed when he threw you travel size baby oil out the window.

"Really bruh"

"You damn right, oil is forbidden here."

You rolled you eyes and dozed off as he got in the shower. His phone was blowing up on the nightstand. You looked at the caller ID saying "THOT" you wonder who it could be.

Hello

Hello who is

You called my man phone who this is?

Davida, oh this must be wifey.

Bitch im THE wife dont get it twisted

Mhmm well where is Erik

Eating my pussy now what the fuck you want

Well you tell him his payment ain't come through

Payment for what, bitch the baby probably ain't even his.

Oh it is sis. Now he's paying me to keep quiet cuz I can go to the media and blow up your little cushiony life.

Bitch ain't shit you can say to stop my checks boo. And you don't think we have lawyers and shit, like the 1st that tried this stunt sus. I'll have your ass going back to yo mammy broke n penniless ho so don't try me.

Erik rushes out the shower hearing the yelling.

Aight bitch let me come and beat some nerve up in that ass

Oh bitch you ain't gon touch me

Bet ho

He sees you ok and calms down but he see you on the phone. He realized it's his and snatches it out of your hand.

HELLO

Bring me my money before your wife blow up yo shit.(click)

Why are you paying this bitch anything, you don't even know it's yours.

"Look I don't need her going to the media putting our business out there. The school will look into and see that I work there I can get fired. I can lose all creditability, my tenure and respect of my students. Im highly respected Y/N I don't want all that taken away by some mistake."

He made a lot of sense. And this is his mistake so he paying the consequences litteraly.

"Ugh!" You threw you hands to your face "so fucking stupid" throwing a tantrum, " im bout to clean and WE going over there tonight.

Later in the car

You sat in the passenger far away from him as you could in his Lincoln Navigator. He looked over grabbed your hand. You snatched it away. He bit down jaw clenching. You looked over and notice how sexy he was when he mad. You turned toward the front staring at streetlights.

"I don't want this to hinder our progress" he said quietly.

You just looked down not knowing what to say. He finally pulled up to gate n typed a code in

"Damn how often you been to her house"

"She texted me the code chill out"

"Mhmm"

He pulled up to the house and y'all both got out. He ranged the door bell, knocked and began dailing her number. "Open the damn door you hear me outside," "she probably sucking some dick upstairs" Erik looked at you while he hung up the phone. "Don't start no shit Y/n, lets just give her the money and leave ok.

You didn't bother giving him an answer. They both got you fucked up.

@curls-and-crosses @killmoncoochie @killmongersgurl @pupyluv247 @kreolemami @dumbchick @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandan-aesthetic @errin261 @lunaerly @muse-of-mbaku @royallyprincesslilly @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers

[vardasvapors]

DRUNK LIVEBLOG OF THE AKALLABETH BC I PROMISED @rose-of-the-bright-sea​

Uh unfortunately i’m not too drunk since once again my job was to bounce everyone once the party ended but uhhh it is early morning and i’m still not asleep and i did just spend 5 hours dancing and doing shots so...

ANYWAY: first scene of the Akallabeth, remember how the edain were the only Men who fought against morgoth in the war of wrath etc, and when morgoth was defeated the Evil Men who fought for him ran away and conquered all the Stupid Men who were still living in the middle earth area and these men’s lives sucked and were constantly attacked by orcs and monsters and they were dumb and wild and stuff. this explanation is like 20 kinds of LMAO NARRATIVES but also not like, in a lying way, just in a framing way.

otoh the edain got given a giant island in the middle of the ocean as a reward for fighting against morgoth and stuff, osse and aule and yavanna did it. (valar: ‘have an island way out in the sea’ elros: ‘SOUNDS LEGIT’). meanwhile the elves of ME are long-sufferingly granted permission to come to tol eressea because their lives kinda suck. the difference in the tone of the edain’s gift and the elves’ gift is totally not noticed by the narrator but the fact that avallone was build on the eastern edge of tol eressea where it could be seen from numenor is. lol.

there’s this super gorgeous entrancing description of how earendil burned super bright so that he shone night and day and the edain followed him over the calm enchanted sea until they found the island of numenor -- andor the land of gift, elenna that is starwards. however we all know all this incredible rich storytelling stuff isn’t important compared to the tiny scrap of smugness that can be wrung out of making elros hate earendil and/or elves, bc everyone knows that no character’s narrative matters except the feanorians’.

elves of ME also brought all the edain to numenor and elves of tol eressea gave the edain a ton of tools and gifts and stuff to help build their new nation, but you know it’s fun to headcanon elros as a bitter chest-puffing supercilious self-satisfied little prick who finds these elves embarrassing and blinkered and their existence pitiful and tut-tuttingly Wrong. bc that makes sense and is woke for some reason.

the numenoreans became taller than all the sons of middle earth, not all the men of middle earth, so numenoreans are taller than elves. also they didn’t have a lot of kids, bc i guess population explosions on islands with almost no death outside of like 300 years of old age is a Bad Time.

also “and the light of their eyes was like the bright stars” hahahahahahahahaha lmao! kill me! lies down. does not get up.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS

the numenoreans are super cool and get to talk and visit with both elves of tol eressea and elves of middle earth, which seems to lead to the completely inescapable conclusion that numenor is a place where the peoples of all lands can pass messages to one another but this is never mentioned. the numenoreans could totally also have prob defeated the evil human kings of middle earth if they tried but they were totes peaceful -- at an undefined point in time. nice vague timeline blurring bruh.

instead they like, instructed the dumb middle earth men on how to grow grain and grind flour and make stuff out of wood bc uh i guess the middle earth men are too dumb to figure it out, for “the ordering of their life, such as it might be in the lands of swift death and little bliss” hahahahahaha this is the most condescending line in the entire silm it’s great.

then the numenoreans start getting dissatisfied with how they still gotta die and stuff. it’s vaguely described as being something to do with how even their long lives are still not as long as elves’ loves, but every time i read this it reminds me how pissed about mortality i’d be if my great-great-great-uncle who was totally allowed to choose to become immortal kept popping in to talk about how he got to see the cool millennia of my country’s history first hand and debate with my revered ancestral founding king. so.

however the numenoreans totally brush over these sorts of super compelling and sympathetic and valid points and instead just whine about how they’re A Bigshot Kewl Superior Race and HDU Say We Can’t Control Everything If We Wanna, 36 Presents? But Last Century I Got 37! because they’re fucking useless dumbasses.

The valar reply that Aman Will Not Make You Immortal, Yo, and also that elves being immortal and men being mortal aren’t rewards or punishments, which are reasonable points. they then go on to go ‘TBH shouldn’t WE be the ones envying YOU bc you get to peace out of this clusterfuck world, huh, huh whaddaya think about that. also btw the whole mortality thing is some Secret Plan To Fight Inflation eru came up with, and none of us will know it until you and a bajillion generations of your descendants are all dead, lol!!!!’ THANKS VALAR. THAT’S REALLY HELPFUL. GREAT JOB OF ACTUALLY ADDRESSING ANYTHING THE NUMENOREANS ARE BOTHERED ABOUT. KUDOS. i love dumb gods.

the numenoreans are super dissatisfied but instead of anything constructive the king decides to hold his breath and throw a tantrum stay king until he’s totally senile and his son is old, bc of spite, then numenor gets divided into the king’s men and the faithful. the faithful are also bleh about death but assume that the valar have some kind of good reason for what they said, because um, reasons, i guess. no one says if the reasons are more mindless dogma or more a grounding and strengthening faith, but since numenoreans sound like RL humans to a tee it’s probably both. the king’s men aren’t skeptics tho -- they just conquer and enslave and colonize and steal from middle earth, bc ‘the west was denied to them.’ some fans find this to be a ‘yes, but--’ where it’s not the best thing to do but sympathetic and better than those un-nietzschean faithful. i’m gonna assume every single person who finds this nod-worthy is as White as sour cream.

later on Ar-Gimilzor bans the Faithful’s language, sends secret police or smth to find out everyone who is Faithful and forcibly remove them from their homes, relocate them to Romenna, and corral and watch them, call them and the elves of tol eressea spies, chase them out of numenor, and force the faithful leader’s sister to marry the king. some fans still somehow think this was a morally grey and understandable thing to do because secular-culturally-christian libs are vile and have never parsed a history book in their lives.

Tar-Palantir becomes king after being secretly taught Faithful stuff by his secretly faithful mom, but nothing he does to fix things helps and he eventually dies young from depression. His daughter Tar-Miriel becomes queen but her cousin Ar-Pharazon forces her to marry him and give him the kingship instead. exactly how this happened remains unexplained! Boo! I want more details. Anyway Pharazon is a Fragile Masculinity poster boy and when sauron starts causing trouble he decides he’s just gotta go capture him and bring him to numenor to show off and stroke his ego, bc he is an Heir Of Eärendil and Respect Meehhh!! God this guy sounds SO UNPLEASANTLY FAMILIAR DOESN’T HE EH. (parenthetically i am delighted beyond words at how absolutely bang-on it is that the King’s Men, both here and earlier with the convo with the Valar, totally Do Not Mention the fact that they’re heirs of Elros, not just Earendil, bc that would be super inconvenient to their vision of themselves and their mortality grievance!! lol!!! i love it!!!! god!!!!!!!! *fingers and thumb in a circle emoji*).

anyway sauron is super smart and an awesomesauce genre-savvy villain and way too good for pharazon and he flatters him and manipulates him into making him his councilor and convinces him that the valar are lying and and to worship morgoth and slaughter the faithful by sacrificing them on.....hm....altars....as rebels and as scapegoats for all numenor’s Problems(TM)....>_>....lmao tolkien can be really fucking dumb and scattered about his mythology and religion patchworking, and yet the wokeness-masturbating section of fandom is infinitely worse in the most predictable ways.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS (this time featuring bonus BAMF and Super Awesome And Lovable 21 Year Old Isildur......have i mentioned recently how much i hate peter jackson......)

anyway when Pharazon has a mid-life crisis about getting old sauron also convinces him he can become immortal by invading aman, which he should totally do bc The Strong Do What They Will And The Weak Bear What They Must (remember this is tragically admirable if flawed, because it’s defying fate!) and a super armament is built to invade aman and ar-Pharazon’s ex-bff Amandil who’s secretly friends with the Faithful freaks and makes secret plans to sail to valinor to beg the valar to do something and has his son elendil prepare to go to middle earth to see the elves who are hunkered down there doing.....uhhhhh???? probably hiding from numenorean conquest????

but anyway when pharazon invades aman and chases the elves out of tol eressea and then tirion, he has a Uh-Oh I Think This Was A Bad Idea feeling but can’t back down now so he lands ashore and camps out around tirion and then manwe prays to eru to bail everyone out and says he will lay down rule of arda for a minute since he doesn’t know what to do, presumably a la ‘omg dad i fucked up and totally crashed your car,’ and eru solves this by getting ar-pharazon & co buried under a mountain until the end of the world (funny how so few fans ever address this thing re: tirion in valinor fanfic eh? oh yeah i forgot silm fans don’t give a shit about humans), opening up a big crack in the ocean, pulling aman and tol eressea out into space, turning the earth from flat to spherical, and letting the island of numenor get buried under the resulting tidal wave and fall down the crack to wherever. because you know overkill is great! also sauron is too busy doing an Evil Villain Laugh to realize he’s about to get drowned and he totally dies and has to make himself a new body out of Anger and he’s now ugly, which sucks for the fanartists.

anyway manwe saves elendil and his fleet (it doesn’t say manwe, but it does say ‘but the great wind took [elendil], wilder than any wind that Men had known, roaring from the west, and it swept his ships far away...’ which, duh) and they wind up washed up on middle earth, but totally grief-stricken over the destruction of numenor.

I can’t liveblog the rest any better than verbatim so I’ll just quote:

Among the Exiles many believed that the summit of the Meneltarma, the Pillar of Heaven, was not drowned for ever, but rose again above the waves, a lonely island lost in the great waters; for it had been a hallowed place, and even in the days of Sauron none had defiled it And some there were of the seed of Eärendil that afterwards sought for it, because it was said among loremasters that the far-sighted men of old could see from the Meneltarma a glimmer of the Deathless Land. For even after the ruin the hearts of the Dúnedain were still set westwards; and though they knew indeed that the world was changed, they said: 'Avallónë is vanished from the Earth and the Land of Aman is taken away, and in the world of this present darkness they cannot be found. Yet once they were, and therefore they still are, in true being and in the whole shape of the world as at first it was devised.'

For the Dúnedain held that even mortal Men, if so blessed, might look upon other times than those of their bodies' life; and they longed ever to escape from the shadows of their exile and to see in some fashion the light that dies not; for the sorrow of the thought of death had pursued them over the deeps of the sea. Thus it was that great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning; and they said:

'All roads are now bent.'

Thus in after days, what by the voyages of ships, what by lore and star-craft, the kings of Men knew that the world was indeed made round, and yet the Eldar were permitted still to depart and to come to the Ancient West and to Avallónë, if they would. Therefore the loremasters of Men said that a Straight Road must still be, for those that were permitted to find it. And they taught that, while the new world fell away, the old road and the path of the memory of the West still went on, as it were a mighty bridge invisible that passed through the air of breath and of flight (which were bent now as the world was bent), and traversed Ilmen which flesh unaided cannot endure, until it came to Tol Eressëa, the Lonely Isle, and maybe even beyond, to Valinor, where the Valar still dwell and watch the unfolding of the story of the world. And tales and rumours arose along the shores of the sea concerning mariners and men forlorn upon the water who, by some fate or grace or favour of the Valar, had entered in upon the Straight Way and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avallónë, or verily to the last beaches on the margin of Aman, and there had looked upon the White Mountain, dreadful and beautiful, before they died.

[szipps]

April 12, 2021

Oh yeahh babyyyy

😐

Fuck this shit.

Today, the first thing my mom said to me was yell at me to clean my room. Great :) 👍

So I just went to take a shower, which at this point is the only place I really feel at peace or when no one's home.

Whenever I get frustrated I just want to throw everything and just destroy it all. I used to do this when I was younger, maybe like 4 or 5, somewhere around there, and my mom would just lock me in her room when it passed. Now that I think about it, that's not a really good way to deal with a child having a tantrum. She should have just talked to me instead....

So now I don't have good frustration coping skills and I'll just sit in the bathroom and quietly cry for a bit, put on makeup, smile and make faces at the mirror, then go take a shower. I guess my best coping skill is just not thinking about it, but that solves nothing at all. My family will still be mad at me and think I'm lazy, talk shit about me ( our house is small and I can hear them, I'm sure they know I can too) and just treat me like shit in general. I'm just a useless piece of shit in this house. An extra mouth to feed. A fucking parasite.

I want to do something about my behavior but there's nothing I really want to do for the people in my family. Hell, it sure as hell doesn't feel like welcome here in the first place, my mom calling my room, "her room". Fucking fantastic.

I want to move out, but I don't even have a job. I have no skills and I'm just plain pathetic, really. I don't think I'd even be able to move in with my friend just because I don't like her habits, she has cats and I'm allergic, and I just don't want to live in an environment where drugs are present at all times. Hell, she wants to live with her boyfriend too, who I'm not really friendly with. It's not that I hate him, I just don't want to be involved with him because her ex and one of her friends hooked up and I just don't want to give her anxiety. Granted, her ex is human scum and a rapist, but it just saves everyone from unnecessary drama.

I'm sure I could do everything I wanted if I just tried, but I just can't because there's an image of me that is just a waste of space and a good for nothing living in this house.

I'm constantly reminded, not verbally but just a general feeling, that I'm a troublemaker and lazy. I can't focus and I just don't have the innate skill to act like a normal person, according to my family.

When I was telling my mom what classes I was going to take for my senior year, my sister scoffed and just said,

" You?"

Like what the fuck? Who says that. I just want to better myself and make something of my life that I want to do but these motherfuckwrs in my house make it awfully hard to have any ambitions.

And here I just treat my family members as well as I can. Or to me it seems.

I never try to argue with them or antagonize them, I try to make everyone laugh when we're together, I try to be as peaceful as I can with everyone and everything that's going on. I just really want to be left alone most of the time.

So after I cleared my head and left my mom alone for her to cool off and just be less burdened by me because I seem to piss everyone off by just being there, she left to do something so I could peacefully walk out of my room. I didn't know she left, so I ended opening her door to dissapointment because I wanted to show her my new clothes :(. I bought shorts and I was proud of myself because I used to be so scared of showing my legs lol.

So anyways, I went to skate for a bit in my garage and my sisters bf came over, she was chopping onions and I was putting dishes away at the same time. I happened to accidentally knock over the bowl of onions into the sink and she got really pissed at me like she didn't ask me to put the dishes away and put the onions really close to the sink. She knows its a tight spot in between putting the plates away and the sink.

So anyways, she gets mad at me and blames me for it all, and tells me that I now have to go buy more onions, so now the mood is fucking ruined and its awkward with her boyfriend there bruh. That was a bit fucking humiliating 😃

Anyways, I'm gonna stay out of their way because its just gonna be awkward and my sister is sure as hell gonna tell my mom and blame it on me once I come out of my room. I sure love bing alive. I thought the only bad part of the day was gonna be my mom sitting bricks and vehemently yelling at me at 12, but I guess not :)

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Straight to the Dark

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. I hate this movie. I hate it. It’s bad, man. Fundamentally terrible. It’s a bad Star War. It’s a bad film in general. Everything is terrible. All of it. It’s so terrible. Here’s a list of the terrible stuff:

The Bad

Movie gives away the massive twist in a test crawl. It literally says that Palpatine called the galaxy and said, “Surprise, b*tch. Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.” That’s how this movie starts. That’s how i knew it was going to be a bad time.

Sh*t goes into montage of Kylo Ren murdering a bunch of nameless asshole. No plot progression of thematic weight. We don’t know who any of these assholes are, he’s just in the woods, with an entire battalion of Stormtroopers, murdering cats for one of the many, many, mcguffins in this fetch quest of a goddamn film.

Where did all of the Stormtrooper bodies go? They just f*cking disappeared. There’s, like, three of these asshole. Kylo had an entire ship of troops. The f*cc is shot continuity??

The movie doesn’t tell you this because f*ck being good at telling a story, but the people Kylo is slaughtering are Vader Occultists. hat’s right, they worship Darth Vader as a god and yet, here they are trying to murder his living, breathing, grandson? For real? He’s their version of Jesus and you’re going to fight him to the death over some sh*t that probably belongs to him anyway by birthright? Okey-dokey.

gain, none of that is stated or shown in the actual film. F*ck thematic weight or unique story telling, we got an entire original trilogy to wank instead.

So, five minutes in, Kylo finds Palpatine and the “Emporer” is like, “It was me, Barry.” and shows him a bunch of Snoke clones in a jar or some sh*t. Wat. What the f*ck ws all that sh*t Snoke was talking then? About being older than the Sith and talking all that good sh*t? How could Snoke have trained anyone in anything if he was a f*cking puppet the whole time??

Smash cut to Finn yelling about some sh*t. F*ck, they murdered the agency in this character, man. Former Stormtrooper, abandoning his space Nazi rhetoric to became a freedom fighter, who is possibly force sensitive? And he’s one of the six black folks in a galaxy, far, far, away? Hell yeah! Two movies later, syke! Finn is a weenie that can’t do anything by suck Rey’s dick. Welcome to Kathleen Kennedy’s “Force is Female” agenda, boys! Take all of the agency and creativity for the male leads and give it to Rey because f*ck you!

And before you brand me some neckbeard chauvinist, i have no problem with all of the mary sueness that is Rey. There are ways, in-universe, to explain that. No, i am upset that all of that mary sueness came at the expense of literally every other main character in this goddamn trilogy! It’s dope Rey is so strong for no goddamn reason. whatever, f*ck you, but to sacrifice and semblance of an interesting supporting cast? Really? are you serious right now? How does that a good story, make? specially when there was so much fertile ground to develop at the end of Awakens.

Uncanny valley Carrie Fisher. They cut old footage of her into this flick because Rey needs a master. guess what? Se had one. Guess what? Mark Hamil is actually still alive! Why did you need Fisher when you could have just not killed Luke or had him actually train her in Last Jedi or not killed him off so he could be around to enrich Episode IX like everyone had signed up for? Instead, yall decide to Frankenstein old footage of Carrie Fisher into this flick in the most clumsy way possible.

How the f*ck is Carrie Fisher versed well enough in the force to teach Rey anything?? What does she even know?? She literally stopped 30 f*cking years ago! How are you a master of anything?

So, the exposition in this movie is absurd. Cats just sit round in a group and tell you the plot. Constantly. There is literally no time for this film to actually show you hings barbecue we gotta get this sh*t done, so they just TELL you EVERYTHING in a goddamn MOVIE!

This movie feels like the climax of a film, for 2nd a half hours. And not just any film because Endgame did that to wildly different results, but a bad film. Like, a Michael Bay film. It feels like the ass shots and explosions of the end to a Michel Bay film, but the entire movie. It has about the same amount of substance and urgency as f*cking The Rock or some sh*t, with all of the narrative strength to boot.

They keep referring to Anakin’s lightsaber as Luke’s, this entire trilogy, and it’s pissing me off. Luke’s saber was green because he was a Jedi Sentinel. He wanted to know the ways of the Force. That was his path to Mastery. Anakin’s was blue because he was a Jedi Guardian. He wanted to use the force to protect those around him since he had lost so much. That’s why he was so skilled at dueling. Luke’s lightsaber f*cking disappeared or some sh*t. It ws never addressed.

Bro, this teleporting sh*t. For real? The Force is basically telekinesis and telepathy. It’s not magic, my dude. What the f*ck is this teleporting bullsh*t all of a sudden? There is no precedence for this in Legends or canon. you can’t keep ex machina-ing sh*t, especially when the driving force of your narrative is a goddamn mcguffin chase!

Jetpack Stormtroopers that launch from the back of desert motorcycles. The entire sentence is some sh*t a fourteen year old try-hard would write in his fan fiction. It has no place in a proper Star War. Bad J.J. Bad.

Stormtroopers can hit the broad side of a barn yet, this one jetpack trooper not only blew up both of your getaway vehicles, but did it mid flight? For real? b*tch, how? Were THEY using the goddamn force??

Nope! Plot contrivance because they needed to get tuck in that specific quicksand, right specifically now!

Force Heal? Really? F*ck, whatever, man. Force Heal. Force Teleport. F*ck, I’m surprised there’s not Force Time Travel. Sh*t man, there might be. Palpatine is alive and he blew the f*ck up when his Death Star did!

Everything about C-3PO and this stupid Sith dagger mcguffin. Everything.

Oh, Poe. I thought they did Finn dirty bit you? Holy sh*t. Dude was a Spice runner? Really? Not even a hint to any of that before but now, because there’s no time to actually flesh out his character properly, you just drop that? When we first met, you were an ace pilot and hero for the Resistance. Rian Johnson got his claws into you with Kathleen Kennedy’s blessing, and you became a mutinous manbaby. Now, you’re an outright space coke runner. Character assassination at it’s finest, if you can call what they gave Poe a character to begin with.

First Order blockade mcguffin, i choose you! Thank you faceless character i just met that Poe has apparently known for decades or whatever, f*ck you!

More Force Teleport fighting!

Dyad in the Force, huh? okay. I thought Snoke did that to f*ck with Kylo in the last movie but whatever. I don’t care anymore. F*ck you.

So Rey finds out she’s a Palpatine and has an emotional crisis. For less than a minute because f*ck emotional levity or character growth, we gott get this sh*t done!

So you introduce an entire platoon of Stormtrooper deserters, give Finn a non-Jedi love interest, and just gloss over all of that with a single conversation of exposition? Really? That could have been a really great part of his person journey but NOPE! F*CK YOU!!

Leia dies for no apparent reason. apparently, when you use your Force powers after a long time, you just croak? Okey-dokey.

Kylo Ren outright dominates Rey until he feels his mom die and Rey take an opportunity to sucker stab him in the gut. AND THEN she feels Leia die. Really? Why do you never see the force when you’re supposed to? Your f*cking master just just croaked and it visibly traumatized her sun and your first instinct is to f*king murder him? for real, b*tch?

Han Solo ghost. Apparently, that n*gga was a secret Jedi or some sh*t. I dunno. F*ck you.

So Rey heals Kylo, steals his ship, and flies off to Luke’s hermit world just to throw a goddamn tantrum until Luke’s Force Ghost shows up and tell her to calm her tits. He physically interacts with her. He raises his old X-Wing so she can fly to Pappy Palpatine’s Ice Shack.  WHY HAS HE NOT BEEN HELPING TO TRAIN HER THIS ENTIRE F*CKING TIME???

Speaking of that X-Wing, how the f*ck can it even fly?? It’s literally been underwater for at least two decades.

Also, Luke had a Jedi wayfinder? n*gga, how? Rey destroyed the one she got off the Death Star II corpse. Where the f*ck did this other one come from??

Pappy Palpatine has spent the last two or three decades creating a fleet of Star Destroyers with Death Star cannons connected to them and, in that time, he couldn’t clone himself a proper body? Are you serious?? I feel like resources probably should ave been devoted to that first. Motherf*cker has jars upon jars of Snokes but you expect me to believe that they couldn't create one, legitimate, clone? Are you serous? These motherf*ckers hollowed out an entire planet and put a gun in it that use suns as bullets, but you can’t clone a decent body to put yourself in? For real?

Speaking of these Death Star Destroyers, why do they still have the same goddamn weakness of the Death Star I?? Bro, you had sixty f*cking years to fix this ONE goddamn problem and Nope! Blow up the gun, blow up the ship! My guy, two Death Stars and a Starkiller Planet but you ain’t fix this one flaw??

Okay. Okay... Palpatine’s grand plan, aside for try-trying-tryinging-tryinginging the world gun plan again, is to have Rey kill him so his Force Ghost can Force Possess her body. What is she just walks away? What is he just says no? This is a bad plan, man.

Oh! i forgot. Hux was the spy. Because he outright says it, audibly, in the middle of a First Order starship, which is notorious for having all sorts of monitoring system like cameras and microphones, right before he’s murdered for being the spy! Bruh.

Ben Solo shows up, redeemed for some reason, and promptly gets his ass handed to him by the Knights of Ren. Until Rey Force Teleports his grandad’s light saber to him, at which point his entire style changes and he slaughters his bros. MAGIC!!

We Force Draining life  to regrow my zombie body out’chea, manq!

After Rey properly Mace Windu’s Pappy Palpatine into oblivion, she dies for no apparent reason. WHY??

Wasn’t this EXACTLY what Pappy wanted? he WANTED her to kill him so he could haunt her titties or some sh*t? You did exactly the plan, man! Why didn’t it work?? PLOT CONTRIVANCE, THAT’S WHY!

F*cking Reylo, dude. F*cking Reylo...

Ben dies at the end. For no goddamn reason. And fades away to Jedi Ghost immortality. Proper Skywalker boss sh*t!

I hope he Forced Knocked Up Rey. Gotta keep that line alive and Ben was caressing her tum-tum real passionately.

Why the f*ck would she just move into Luke’s house on Tatooine? That place is the worst! it’s got terrible history with all of the Skywalkers, including Anakin! That’s just bad juju right there.

Where the f*ck did Rey get that Yellow Kaiburr crystal from?

“I’m Rey. Rey Skywalker.”

You had forty, real life years, worth of material to pull from and seven years to come up with a way to stick this landing and you sh*t the bed this hard? Really? Nothing is earned. Nothing is deserved. It’s all just a sticky wet fart.

The Verdict

Admittedly, those are issues i had as a fan. I would put on my movie critic hat and properly critique why, functionally, this is a bad film but i am too tired to do that now. Look, man, this thing has potential. There are so many plot threads that could have gone somewhere but Rise is not about that life. They’re here to do everything in their power to retcon everything Last Jedi and Kathleen Kennedy allowed to happen therein. And they do that well enough but at the expense of their own goddamn narrative. This was course correction that should have been two, entire, separate, films. So much good sh*t could have been gleaned from this narrative if it was two proper movies but corporate was like nah, bruh. Get this sh*t done. We’ll stop making these things for two years and people will forget. Nope.

You can’t forget this sh*t. I can’t forget this clusterf*ck i just wasted my life watching. And it didn’t have to be! That’s what kills me! There is more than enough in this film to redeem the franchise. If this specific story was broken up; If these plot points and characters were given enough room to breathe, sh*t could have worked! Ther eis so much fertile ground here to craft a dope story for fans, old and new but NOPE! F*ck that! Cowabunga it is! We’re going to cram all of that sh*t into one movie and f*ck you! We’re going to spend half the narrative erasing The Last Jedi instead of progressing this plot because f*ck you! We’re going to bring back someone who had to be unspoken, impossibly, resurrected to win back the fans because f*ck you! Give them some goddamn Reylo because f*ck You! That’ll shut you the f*ck up! F*ck this movie, man. This sh*t could have been special but you let an ego driven, misandrist ruin forty years of canon for the clout.

Watching this goddamn movie made me piss blood, man, that’s how much it hurt.

[ultimatebottom69]

Volume 6 episode 3

Hold on...You telling me Ozpin banged Salem ? Hold on.

Yeah it's sad, Weiss.

Cool graphics... Am I supposed to feel anything for this...Faceless Figure that is yellow ?

Ok he isn't going to help her. Salem stop throwing a tantrum.

God of light said Ozpin to rest...Ok ?

God of darkness...Oh boy.

Am I supposed to be scared ? Hey...He is nice. He obeyed. Huh...Ah fuck.

Yo. Light wtf ? Yo. WTF-

Yo...For one man ? Dude. It doesn't matter ?

Bruh...Ok

Salem...You dumb ? You are trying to FIGHT THE GODS ? Like I understand your point of view but jeeze.

Ok so Ozma...Is supposed to rest right ? Like they litterally fought to put him to eternal rest.

*chuckles knowingly*

Yeah Salem got her ass beat.

Huh...Wait. Hold on.

HOLD THE FUCK UP. So the two brothers fights about how life must be balanced, bit they turn around and make Salem immortal ????

Bitch what ?

Ok Salem. Sadism on 10. I mean she ddi lie bit didn't completely. Greed is dangerous.

"Heart of man are easily swimmed" Dang I wonder why. I mean it's not like you all created humans...Like ??? I know I am not supposes to judge gods but could you think for a second ?

You know this woman is selfish, greedy and obsessed with getting her man back..You give this woman...IMMORTALITY... to make her learn...The importance of life and death...

What do you mean you didn't see a problem with your plan ?

Like come kn guys. Just give her man back...

Wow...He really anhiliated humanity ? Over a tantrum ?

Ok. Edgy gods.

Salem was a bitch but she didn't deserve that shit.

Damn. She fell into the pool and...Becane sexier. Wow. I am supposed to fear her ? Like so far she seems like a kid who wanted her toy back so the parents got crazy and destroyed ALL her toys...

Like bruh ? So why Ozpin is here than ?

...GOD OF LIGHT DIDN'T YOU SAID HE WAS SUPPOSED TO REST ??? Ok so let me get this clear. When it's his wife aaking it is not ok but id it is YOU it is ok ? Damn double standards even for gods.

...Light...Don't you wanna say ? You two are responsible for this ? Like...Anyway. The Gods are as illogical and dumb as their own creation got it.

......................................................................................

I will not say shit. I am going to ignore the fuck the light.

Ok so Ozma...The god of light clearly told you. Don't go there. Bad idea. And you choose ?

Ozma...Don't do it.

Ozma....Don't do it. Don't put your d in crazy-

Neat. Salem...is wow. I mean. I appreciate. From what I got. Ozpin doesn't know why she is immortal and never asked her. 10/10 communications dude.

And just like that he became ok to be a god with her.

Aww they have CHILDREN-

HEY did Salem eyes became less Grimm and more Human ?

Oh now you don't wanna go to bonetown ?

Ah fuck- Ozma...Your...U ....God...

You are an IMBECILE. Did you try to run away with the kids while the mom is still in the castle WITHOUT COMMUNICATIONS- *triggeed*

Ozma...You suck BALLS.

And now the kids are dead. BraVo dude. Just fucking fantastic.

Wow. Lmao ok.

Am I supposed to give a fuck ? Both are in the wrong here. I don't feel bad for Ozpin at all. He wasted lives of people we will never know, like it is recently "it took him centuries" so at least 4 life by century to understand there was someons in the body too...

Imagine seeing your life flash before you. Being stuck. Like fuck dude. I feel no empathy for either of them.

...*see I have to watch Volume 6 tonight*

Beata Maria. Je clame que mon âme est pure, de ma vertue j'ai le droit d'être fieeer.

(Et tibit Pater)

Beata Maria, Mon coeur a bien plus de droiture qu'une commune vulgaire de traîne-misère-

(Quia peccavis nimis)

[adelindschade]

So since in my previous post I touched on some of the bullshit my dad put us through, I’m going to reiterate some of our last ‘transactions’ before that bridge was burned - one of the many pivotal awakenings I needed to throw those rose colored glasses away. By then I had taken them off and started seeing shit differently but this moment was probably one of the few that prompted me to stop giving a fuck and call it quits for good.

By this point, dad and I are in a rough patch. I gave him an ultimatum about a year from now - right before thanksgiving - to stay off mom, she wasn’t in a position to be losing income for child support when custody was 50/50, etch. - and he’d rather lay into me about not knowing my place (despite me being a 22 YO independent adult) and gaslighting me about not knowing the full situation (bullshit). So we’re not on speaking terms.

I’ll let you know now - family or not, if you piss me, I’m done. I quit. There ain’t no tantrums. There aren’t conversations. After that last text and you ain’t wit the program, I’m duecing out. Peace sign, have good life, motherfucker, I’m out. Adios. Fuck off forever. I had my last straw and I stopped talking altogether. It was mutual. No one was lifting a finger to initiate any sort of discussion after that debacle. .

I ain’t the person who sends holiday or birthday texts. Nah. When I’m done, it’s cold turkey. I cut it off in an instant and I don’t look back. None of this “I’m always here” bullshit or “call me if you have a change of heart”. Nah, fam. Not even with my ex-bestie. She was all about that life after our blow out but I said what I said, I meant it, and I’m not turning back on my words just to re-engage an awkward & inevitably change friendship. That bridge was incinerated and same goes for my Dad.

Also - blocking - I’m all about that life. None of that ‘weak’ shit excuse. I don’t want to be hearing from you. I don’t want to be seeing shit from or about you. I don’t want you creeping on my shit either so your nosy ass can talk about something to your friends. Nah. We’s dead to each other. I blocked a hella ton of people because they nosy AF and messy and I’m not going to enable that shit. My profile is private, too, so they can’t hire their friends to peep for them either. Communication is low so mutual friends or family can’t be talking shit if I don’t have anything to say about the matter. I stay in my fucking lane, you bet your ass you ought to do the same. I ain’t gonna make it easy for you to weave in between the lines so don’t even bother.

I also learned that if people are a) bitching but b) not blocking - that door is still open for more bullshit. That girlfriend of yours talking shit about her on-and-off ex for a billion reasons but still refusing to block his ass? You bet they’re going to be back together by the end of the week. It’s inevitable. They ain’t ready to cut that cord.

My dad was one of those people. His (last I heard, ex) GF was a piece of work. So many stories were born from that messy relationship but he wasn’t dumb AF and continued to justify or make excuses as to why he wanted to work on it. At the end of the day, he made it known he valued her over his own kids, and that was that. He bankrupted himself to support her even though she already had income coming in three different ways and he used that excuse to make all these expectations that were never realized.

This is semi-important. All of this ties together.

When I cut contact, I cut all of it. No birthday text, no happy father’s day text, none of that. I was a making a point and it struck a nerve. He went through mom to tell me I needed to bounce TF off his phone plan (as if I wasn’t paying my portion?? which I learned was MORE than what I actually owed!!). Hmm. Ironic. I was asking him for months to cut me off his plan because he was the account owner and he had to give the approval but all he did was give BS excuses to wait or that I wasn’t financially ready to take on another burden (What?? I was meticulous about my budget and planned ahead for it! I realize now it was because I was paying for part of not just my plan but his, too - hmm). So suddenly now, I’m an ungrateful mooch and need to bounce ASAP.

Luckily I anticipated this but unfortunately had to wait for his go ahead. Because no matter how times I attempted to do it, they still needed certain information only he could give, and it was infuriating that I couldn’t do shit unless he went ahead from HIS account to release the line.

Now, let me input this: I love my phone. It’s old (4+ years) but it works, it functions, and it still in pretty condition because I forked out a shit ton of money for a grade A case that lived up to its reputation (otterbox FTW). So, the only thing I was (or should have been) paying for was just the plan and my ass was grandfathered in so I wasn’t paying for shit for unlimited. However, I was paying twice that amount until this moment. My upgrade was never used because I didn’t need one - it was only for an emergency just in case some shit happened to my phone. I didn’t ever want a new one because the one I had (and still do) does everything I need it to. (Shout out to Samsung!)

Dad, however, was the exact opposite. Constantly upgraded because he HAD to have the new iPhone after it’s release (same applies to my brother which he always catered to) and stealing everyone’s upgrades while still forking out money for the phone he just ditched.

So after days in finagling for the fucking information I needed to just finish the job, he finally makes me the account manager to just take care of it. First it was, oh I haven’t paid the bill yet so I still owe x amount before they make any account change (abet lowkey suggesting I take care of the $400+ invoice - TF I will! Hell no! I’m not the one to be tried today - fuck that noise!) Then it was - oh, well, uh, I couldn’t cover the total so wait until next week so I have the entire bill take care of...

Here’s what went down:

This man never, ever paid the bill in full. He had late fee after late free applied because he was cutting corners.

On top of that, he was constantly adding new devices  - like a new set of Dre Beat wireless headphones - hmm - while apparently not having enough to cover the bill. That’s some piss poor management right there.

Here’s the bonus:

I finally ask the rep to take me off. Wait, there’s a new charge. What? On my line? Repeat that, please??

This man used MY line, MY UPGRADE, while the account still under his name to buy a brand new $1100 iPhone - in payment plans no less! So either someone pays the difference (which is pretty much the whole thing) before I can ever transfer my line to an independent one or - at this point - my mind stopped listening because I was fuming.

Wanna guess where, or rather who, that phone went to? Take a guess - it’s pretty easy - if you thought, hmm, Dad, so did I - but no, it went to his pretty little neurotic piece of a GF. *I learned this later on from my brother who was lamenting about how she got the phone and not him (after his took a nasty fall & cracked the screen).

Folks, I don’t remember how TF I did without forking over money but I did - I got my ass off the plan within a week of the original message, kept my beloved phone (which he can pry from my cold, dead hands) and my number with a manageable plan.

Now, let me tell you, I did not block my dad. My number is still the same as always because it’s damn near connected to everything in my name. I couldn’t bother with a number change because too much inconvenience. I sent him an e-mail saying the deed was done (literally 5 words or less) and he never replied back - that was that.

Fast forward about.... rounded, a couple months. Karma is beautifully served and she kicks his ass to the curb after mooching off what she could without having to do the same. (He’s still a dick and probably did some shit to deserve the restraining order). He crawls back to my mom looking for pity. She reminds him said-ex-GF is not worth it and primarily one of the reasons why he’s estranged with his eldest (me!).

He has the audacity to say the following - oh, I was going to ask her eventually if she wanted to get coffee. (Haha! Hell no! As if I’d be anywhere in the same zip code as this man! I ain’t gonna be trapped listening to his woe-is-me bullshit. Fuck that!)

Mom shakes her head - she knows me well enough. That ain’t gonna fly. She’s not going to respond to that.

He probably scratched his head - what should I do? (*Uh, dumbass, I literally wrote you an e-mail with plain-as-day instructions. First step, apologize, second step, acknowledge your wrong doings, third step, make an vocal and actual effort to fix x amount of issues which I’ve bulleted! Look at your Goddamn archives!)

Mom literally says - show an effort.

He replies - okay... is her number the same??

Bruh. Bruuhh.

At this point, it’s just comedy. I can’t make this shit up.

I’ve never blocked this man. I never changed my number. If he asked, idk, my brother?? He’d confirm - yeah, it’s still the same.

Now under this context, which my mother forewarned me about, he sends me a BS text - oh, thinking about you, hoping you’re doing well, text me, love ya.

What bullshit. Mind you, had his (ex) GF not kicked him to the curb, he’d still be at her side, and I’d still be in exile - so no - not happening. You made your bed, lie in it. See - I look at the bigger picture - it helps with retrospect.

Mark to present: Mom is now on the train which she’s almost always finds her way back on - forgive and forget! He’s your father? Yadda-yadda - you know the naive shit that gets her into trouble because she forgives wayyy too easily the shit no one should put up with. (*I’m all about the resent-and-remember and boii has it served me good).

Mom - has your father texted you yet? He told me he tried again. (As per use, telling one thing, doing another - actions ain’t lining up, pops. Typical).

My inbox: void of any such message(s).

Me - Nope! (proceeds to monologue about his douchebaggery and my intolerance for such antics and how forgiveness is absolutely out of the question.)

Mother  - who is very passive - immediately weans off the topic. She’s the soft spoken but persistent type. (I’m the opposite. I’m the ‘cuss your ass out’ + end of fucking discussion type).

I see things for how they are and I’m ain’t about that bullshit. I know how things operate and I’m not playing the fool this time.