#this really genuinely pisses ne off for some reason

[lunar-stims]

I fucking hate this fandom

[luvjunie]

— broken promises

pairing: earth 42 miles x fem!reader

summary: while earth 42 miles comes off a lot tougher than 1610’s based off his cold demeanor and his trauma induced apathy, somewhere under that hard shell, he’s still the sweet boy he used to be and wants love just like anyone else. miles is aged up to 17 in this, simply for the plot! wc: 2,640

contains: spoilers!!! angst to fluff

word bank: “mi vida” - my life, “mi amor” - my love

playing now: Wasted Love Freestyle by Jhene Aiko

You and Miles have been dating for 7 months now, and lately he hasn’t been around as much as he’d like to, for obvious reasons. Well, not obvious to you. You still don’t know that Miles is the Prowler, and he’s intent on keeping it that way.

It’s the third time he’s flaked on plans he arranged himself this month, and he can tell you’re beyond tired of it with the way you just blew his phone up.

— Miles POV —

Miles’ phone buzzes in his pocket but he decides against checking it, marking it off as something unimportant. He’s already accepted a job from his Uncle and a distraction wouldn’t do him any good right now.

8:03 PM

Mi Vida: please don’t tell me you’re doing this again bro.

Mi Vida: this is a joke, right?

Mi Vida: hello?? you were supposed to be outside thirty minutes ago.

Mi Vida: Miles Gonzalo Morales I swear to GOD if I don’t hear your motorcycle revving outside in the next five minutes so help me.

*buzz buzz*

Ignored.

*buzz buzz*

*buzz buzz*

He kissed his teeth, lashes fluttering in aggravation and air puffing through his nostrils at the continuous buzzing against his leg. His shoulder fell to the side a bit as he reached down into his pocket to grab his phone while he climbed up the stairwell, following his uncle. Seeing your contact name on his lock screen, his brow raised as he read over the message, then they bunched together in the middle of his forehead incredulously, the tone of your texts causing his strides to falter.

Miles was genuinely confused for a moment, trying to think back on if he’d done anything to upset you, until the memory of him assuring you he wouldn’t do this again slapped him across the face harder than his mom did that one time he’d cursed at her on accident. The two of you had a date planned for tonight, and he swore to you he’d be there this time, fifteen minutes early at that, even though he knew there was a big chance he wouldn’t be able to make it all. It was selfish of him to promise something he couldn’t guarantee, knowing how demanding the other factors in his life were, but he was so tired of disappointing you, and how happy you looked when he told you you guys would finally get to spend some time together really had him thinking he could make it work this time.

Eyes falling shut for a beat, a heavy sigh leaves his lips, tongue darting out to dampen them as he quickly tries to think of something to respond with that won’t piss you off more than you already are.

He texts you back: sorry Mami, something came up yk how it is. i got you tomorrow tho fasho

Yeah. Real smooth.

*buzz buzz*

Mi Vida: yk what, just forget it, Miles.

Damn, she called me by my first name? I definitely fucked up this time. He thinks to himself.

Mi Vida: whoever you’re with is clearly more important to you than what we got goin on, so it’s cool. stay where you at, i’m done

Shit.

His heart beats a little faster in his chest, the sensation a semblance of something he hadn’t felt in years. Fear. He texts back as fast he can, head snapping up to see he’s fallen behind his Uncle, and he hurriedly jumps a few stairs before he comes to a stop again.

Miles: done??? the fuck you mean you done?

You don’t respond fast enough for his liking, so he double texts.

Miles: baby stop playin. you trippin it ain’t even like that at all

Mi Vida: i’m deadass. don’t call my phone.

He utters a string of curses under his breath, alerting his Uncle who had already noticed he was falling behind when he heard the inconsistency of his nephew’s footsteps. He’s ample steps above Miles, turning his head only slightly over his shoulder to address the distracted teenager.

“C’mon man, get off the phone. We got business to tend to. You in or you out?” Aaron asks. “You know I can’t have nobody holdin’ me back.” There’s a hint of something deeper playing within his words, and Miles knows he doesn’t have a choice.

He swallows hard as he looks up at the older man. Taking one last look down at his phone, his jaw clenches in contemplation before he’s shaking his head with a quiet sigh and shoving it back into his pocket. He’ll have to deal with this later.

“My fault. Yeah, I’m in.” He mumbles, doing a quick jog to catch up to the man.

His uncle’s lips quirk into a smirk, a heavy hand coming down to clap Miles’ back and squeeze his shoulder.

“My man. Aight, let’s roll.”

— Your POV —

8:05 PM

You: i’m deadass. don’t call my phone.

You watch closely as the three dots bubble at the bottom left corner of your screen, an indicator that he was typing. But instead, a quiet scoff slips from your mouth when they disappear, your shoulders slumping in disappointment at the word that appears below your last message.

Seen

You angrily toss your phone onto your bed, bottom lip quivering when you catch a glance at yourself in the mirror when you walk by. You’d gotten dressed up all nice just for him, because you knew the chance of him being free for a night to take you out was rare. You’d started your makeup early just to make sure he wouldn’t have to wait outside for you while you finished, and you’d even styled your hair the way you knew he liked. All for nothing.

You kicked your shoes off and dropped your purse to the ground, heading to your bathroom to undo all your work. You washed all the makeup off your face, the act feeling more humiliating than ever when you remembered why you’d even put it on in the first place. To feel pretty for someone who barely even showed up.

You closed your eyes and tried to calm down, hastily reaching back over to check your phone just one more time. Maybe he was thinking of what to say, and that’s why he’d left you on seen.

Seen 25 minutes ago

Maybe not.

You hated crying. And more than anything you were tired of doing it, especially when broken promises were the cause of your wasted tears. Your evening was basically wasted, and you weren’t in the mood to do anything else anyway, so you decided that you’d call it a night and head to bed early. You slipped on some comfy sleep shorts, tying your hair up for the night before grudgingly tugging a large t-shirt over your head. Your brow perked up at the scent that wafted past your nostrils, and pinching the shirt with your forefinger and thumb, you brought the fabric to your nose and immediately caught a whiff of Miles’ cologne. You then realized you’d put on a shirt you stole from him a while back, and the way your heart fluttered made you even more upset than you already were. You brushed it off to the best of your ability and crawled into bed, trying your hardest to keep your sniffling to a minimum as you pulled your blankets over your shoulder.

____

As soon as he’d gotten the job done and his Uncle gave him the okay to dip, Miles’ feet were moving at the speed of light down the stairwell. And while he had sort of rushed the plays he made with some of the city’s goons, he just had to pray that all his Uncle’s money was in the banded wad of cash he returned with, or it would be his ass.

Skipping a few steps he hopped down onto the platform before the next set, checking his phone for the time simultaneously.

10:15 PM

“Damn.” He groaned, pushing through the doors, cool wind hitting his face. Once he reached his motorcycle he shoved his helmet over his head, hopped on, and sped off with a “skrrrt”.

He sped through the streets carelessly, something you definitely would’ve scolded him for had you been riding on the back of his bike with him, with your arms tight around his waist to hold on like you always did. He bobbed and weaved through cars, lane splitting between a few of them and he may have even ran a red, but he wasn’t paying enough attention to remember. All he could focus on was that you said you were “done”, whatever the hell that meant, and he was adamant on making sure you weren’t.

____

You didn’t know when you’d dozed off, three steady knocks, a fourth one after a pause hitting against your window, resulting in your eyes snapping open at the disruption. You sat up on your mattress, the ball of your hand rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you peered across the room. Once they adjusted in the darkness and you recognized the familiar, lanky body of your boyfriend standing outside on the fire escape, the events of just two hours ago played over in your mind like a record.

With a roll of your eyes, you huffed and swung your legs over the side of your bed, pushing yourself onto your feet. Miles watched as you sleepily trudged over to the window, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, head slightly lowered and tilted to the side, as if he were already apologizing before you’d even made it to him.

Hooking your fingers underneath the edge of your window, with a quiet grunt you pulled it up, effectively lifting the barrier between your bodies. You instantly felt your yearning for him come back full force, and wanted nothing more than to throw yourself into his arms, but you restrained. Your eyes met his, the cool night air breezing into your room, and his heart clenched. Somehow he was able to feel the coolness in your demeanor, yet the cold weather hadn’t bothered him at all.

He was the first to speak.

“Hola, Mami.” He sized you up once, taking notice of your eyes that were slightly puffy from crying.

His voice was like silk to your ears, alluring and confident, almost hypnotizing, and it aggravated you that you felt yourself gravitating towards him off two simple words.

“Why are you here, Miles?” You sighed, arms slapping at your sides in exasperation.

He looked slightly taken aback, chin lifting a bit as if you’d asked something completely outlandish.

“What you mean why I’m here? You my girl, shit, this my crib too.” He shrugged, so nonchalant, as if nothing had happened. You wondered if it had even been him texting you earlier.

“You left me on seen, remember? Stood me up, too?” Your head cocked to the side to match the attitude in your tone, brows raising at him. What excuse would he use this time?

He dragged a hand down his face, exhaling heavily before he spoke up again.

“I was… busy. Look, my bad, okay? You gon’ let me in or what? Ian come all the way over here to stand outside.” He demanded with a gesture towards the opening, his hazel eyes glinting in the moonlight and thawing the ice that’d been temporarily encased around your heart. There was the smallest hint of a smirk on his lips, because he already knew the answer.

Your lips pursed and you stepped to the side, a laggard arm stretched out beside you, silently granting him access to your room.

He stepped through the window frame and you closed it after him, his hands folding around the collar then the hem of his jacket as he adjusted it and turned towards you.

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Miles. It isn’t fair.” You mumbled, hating the way your voice split your words.

His head dipped to the side a bit as he took in your solemn expression and the way your gaze was cast to the floor, as if you were trying to contain your tears. He wasn’t the best at this, he knew that, and showing affection effectively really wasn’t his strong suit. He usually made it up to you by bringing you a few hundreds he’d made from a deal, paired with some roses he’d picked up on the way to your house at the last second— but you both knew paper and flowers wouldn’t fix it this time.

“I’m sorry, I mean it.” He said, reaching for your hand to bring you close and grateful when your eyes finally lifted to lock onto his, although seeing them tear-filled wrapped him in a deep-seated emotion he didn’t even want to acknowledge.

Miles rarely said he was sorry. If ever. Did he apologize? Yes, but it was usually a ‘my bad’ or a ‘my fault’, or some other term that’d get the point across without him have to use too much emotion. Hearing the words ‘I’m sorry’ from him was an anomaly, it happened once in a blue moon, so this time you knew he really meant it. In your heart you knew he meant it, but that didn’t stop the tear you’d been trying to keep at bay from rolling down your cheek.

His thumb caught the tear almost instantly, swiping it from the soft of your skin. It didn’t belong there, and he hated to be the reason why you were crying in the first place.

“Where do you disappear to, Miles?” You sniffled.

He sighed, glancing back over at the window. He considered telling you the truth, but he knew he couldn’t.

“I’m just tryna keep you safe, ma.”

“You always say that!” You squeaked, making sure to keep your voice down, you had technically snuck him in. You ripped your hand from his grasp, turning your face away from him as another tear fell. “Do you not trust me or something? Is that it?”

“Of course I trust you,” His eyebrows knit together at your question and he stole your hand from your side again.

“So why can’t you tell me?” You pleaded, eyes big and glossy.

“I just-“ He paused. “I can’t let you get hurt. The shit I do…” You watched as he hesitated, like even speaking about the subject pained him. “It ain’t good.” He swallowed, a hand coming up to cup your cheek. “And I’ll be damned if I put you in the middle of my shit. I love you… okay?” He moved closer to you, and when you turned from him once again he brought your face right back to his, this time with both his hands. He wasn’t going to let you go, and while Miles was rough around the edges, and seemingly devoid of any emotion other than anger or resentment for the world—he always handled you with care.

“I love you, Y/n, I put that on everything. I’ll burn this whole world down for you, you hear me? Don’t think I won’t.” He stared into your eyes longingly, intent on making sure you didn’t just hear every word, but that you understood them, too.

You couldn’t help but lean into his hand, your own coming up to hold at his wrist as you inhaled shakily and gave him a bleak nod.

That wasn’t enough for him. He needed to hear you say it.

“Do you understand?” He articulated his words, bringing his head down slightly to match your height a bit more.

“I understand.” You said softly, looking up at him through your lashes before your gaze fell to his lips. He took that as his sign, leaning forward and bringing you into a kiss.

You melted into him immediately, like you always did, eyes fluttering closed as your lips moved against his, and as his hands fell to your hips to pull you in closer, like they always did.

You broke the kiss for air, your hand resting on his bicep and your lips ghosting his as you spoke, as you shared the same breath. “I love you too…” You breathed, standing on your toes.

“Good,” You felt him grin before he pulled away, his hand pinching your chin to make you look at him. “Cause you not leaving me, ever. I can’t let no one else have you, Mami, you know that.” He cooed.

You felt heat flush your cheeks, a smile you couldn’t hide finally spreading on your face.

“Yeah yeah, I know.” You answered, chewing at your bottom lip. “Can you stay?” You whispered, eyes shifting between his hopefully as you awaited his answer.

“Ah…” He rubbed at the back of his neck, piping up again before you could get disappointed. “What about your moms?”

“She sleeps in on the weekends, you just gotta be outta here by nine. Please, pa?” You whined, already reaching for his hands.

He chuckled to himself and shook his head slightly, having to look away from the adorable look on your face. He tried to remain in denial of the fact that he was so deep in love with you he could hardly think sometimes, let alone say no, but he was failing. Miserably.

“Of course I’ll stay, mi amor.”

Your expression lit up, a toothy smile brightening your features as he let you lead him to your bed.

He made sure to remove his shoes before he laid down, settling on his back. He extended his arm out to you as he tucked the other behind his head, motioning for you to join him with his fingers.

You crawled into his open embrace, getting comfortable on top of his chest and nuzzling your head under his chin. You began to feel drowsy the second he wrapped his arm around you, a yawn leading your eyes to water. His hand slowly moved from where it was resting on your back, dipping beneath the hem of your shirt, the warmth of his skin against yours comforting to you. His large hand rubbed up and down the expanse of your back, the tips of his fingers drawing lines along your spine— you always fell asleep easier when he did that. You listened to the steady beating of his heart, fingers idly toying with the gold chain he kept around his neck.

“I’m really sorry I ain’t make it tonight. I know you prolly got all pretty for me n’shit… and I wish I got to see it, but that’s on me.” He grumbled. He’d beat himself up over this for a while.

“S’okay.” You say it is, but he knows it’s not. He knows better. “I missed you.” Your quiet voice murmured from below him as you scooted in impossibly closer.

His jaw tensed as he stared up at your ceiling, a deep breath from his diaphragm raising you a little bit with his chest, and lowering you as he released it. “I know.” His response was hushed, and as sleep continued creeping in, you wondered if you’d imagined it.

But when you felt a long, drawn-out kiss press to the top of your head, his hand rubbing soothing circles between your shoulder blades, you knew it was real. The last thing you heard before you dozed off was his voice, mellow and gentle as he assured you.

“Ima do better, mama. I promise, for real this time.”

- do not copy, plagiarize, or post my works onto a different platform.

likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated!

[axailslink]

Hi could you do an angst fic with Rosalie surprise me tho because I don’t know what think of.

I would never

Rosalie Otterbourne x poc FEM reader

A/n: Maybe I'm just really fucked up but she looks absolutely gorgeous crying like.

Summary: Rosie catches a glimpse of you chatting it up with some guy and gets too into her head.

Snippet from the fic: “ "I've made a fool of myself" you nod in agreement as you grab her left hand "maybe" you bring it to your lips and kiss her ring finger causing her to smile just a bit "but I know for sure you love me as much as I love you and this is a great reassurance." ”

Rosalie can't stop grinning to herself as thoughts from last night flood her mind from the many kisses you shared to the gentle touches. Her cheerful smile doesn't leave her face as she looks through the many dress shoes in the market. You've been racing around in Rosalie's mind all day and for a moment she swears she hears your laugh but she shrugs it off. Maybe she just misses you but she hears it again. Rosalie is quick to follow the laughter with that beautiful boxy smile painted on her face. Most would assume it's fake but only you can make her smile like this. That beautiful smile doesn't stay for long though when she catches sight of some guy leaning against a wooden crate smiling all giddily at you. She shouldn't let it get to her someone else making you laugh that's fine that's totally fine and it definitely doesn't look like he's trying to get w-his hand finds yours and you're laughing nervously instead of paying him no mind like Rosalie would love to see. At this point, Rosalie needs to leave before jealousy can consume her but she can't muster up the strength to leave or to stop watching the interaction.

When you finally seem to be on your way Rosalie approaches said man "hi do you work here?" He nods "yeah do you need anything miss..?" "Otterbourne" she answers with a smile so fake it doesn't hold its usually boxy stature "I'm James what can I help you with?" You could really help me by finding another woman to be interested in.

Rosalie finds herself contemplating what she should do about the current situation. She can't take the wrong approach and accuse you of something she knows nothing of but you smiled at him and let him touch you he even had you sounding off genuine laughs. She can't hide how pissed she is when she knocks on your screen door but just for a moment her frown turns into a smile when you answer the door she has to remind herself she's upset with you.

"Rosie" you quickly pull her in and lock the door but you don't hold onto her for long as you run to close the curtains "I've told you home visits are too suspicious what are you doing here?" You can't help but smile even though this can be quite suspicious to the prying eye. A woman with money in this neighborhood? At your house? All too suspicious. "You know what? It doesn't matter I've missed you" you place a soft kiss on her lips but she just stands still. "Do you now?" You cock your brow "what's that supposed to mean? Rosie, dear what's wrong?" She hesitates for a moment seeing your concerned expression and feeling your gentle hands on her waist "who's... Who's James Y/n?" You were expecting anything but this question because who is James? "What?" You can see Rosalie getting annoyed so much that her patience is cut short as she asks "so you don't know a James now? Are you seriously trying to paint me a fool?" "I would ne-"

"Just tell me, he makes you feel better. Please tell me that you feel at home or something when you're with him. Lie to me if you have to just please tell me good reasoning as to why I'm not enough." You're quick to shake your head in disagreement and grab her face resting your thumbs on her cheeks and your palms against her jaws. "No, whoever you're talking about could never I would nev- you are enough you are just the right amount for me I swear Ros-" Rosalie breaks from your grip and aggressively wipes the tears she wasn't aware were streaming down her face until now. "Then why were you laughing at what I'm sure was the world's best joke!?" You blink for a moment as it hits you that you do know who she's speaking of "the man from the clothing market?" Rosalie scoffs and for a moment you want to laugh but she looks really hurt and this isn't the time so instead, you grab her in a tight hug. "I was laughing because he thought he had a chance with me until I told him of my wonderful partner." Rosalie turns her attention to you now and you give her a small smile in return.

Rosalie shakes her head no "oh my goodness I'm so sorry I just saw him with you and I let myself get lost in thought" you nod as Rosalie rubs her face "I would never do such a thing. Not to you. Ever" Rosalie sighs and you grab her face rather roughly making sure she's looking into your eyes as you speak "I don't know who or what you've encountered in the past but I am not them. I'm not and we will be together for a long time. In secret, if we have to but I'll never do anything like that to you. Do you understand?" Rosalie nods "absolutely" "are you sure? Because your running face would say otherwise" Rosalie can't help but be embarrassed now she laughs and turns her head. "I've made a fool of myself" you nod in agreement as you grab her left hand "maybe" you bring it to your lips and kiss her ring finger causing her to smile just a bit "but I know for sure you love me as much as I love you and this is a great reassurance." Rosalie nods to herself trying to calm herself fully "now kiss me" Rosalie chuckles because you always seem to catch her off guard "really? While I'm so everywhere? My mak-" you press a firm kiss to Rosalie's soft small lips and she smiles into it immediately letting her hands reach your face. When you pull away that boxy grin has returned to her face and you can't help but shake your head.

"I need to clean myself up" you shake your head "don't not yet first while you're still a mess maybe you could...help me bake cookies?" Rosalie cocks her head because she just knows that's not what you were about to suggest "that was not at all what you were going to say was it?" You shake your head and shy away from the topic "I mean...I was going to suggest maybe we have a repeat of last night" your words come out as mumbles but Rosalie doesn't miss a word. "What? Here? In broad daylight?" You roll your eyes at her sarcasm and sigh "I change my mind" Rosalie laughs "just like that?" You nod "just like that" Rosalie nods now and glances at your lips. A lie is what you just told her because seeing her gaze on your lips immediately changes your mind once again.

Taglist:

@verachii

@mocha-aya

@shuriszn

@lolas-bunny

@louderfortheback

@lucillele

@shuri-lover

@quintessencewrites

@zestgodtj

@yamsthoughts

@sokkasbae255

@saintwrld

@tuesdaylovesu

@rxcently

@yvxmpire

@lunax0654

@homie0sapien

@karimwillia

@adeola-the-explorer

@garbagesleepschedule

@bratydoll

@gubrii

@vampphasecomplete

@ctrl-liah

@trixielwt

@6-noir

@annoyingtidalwavequeen

@atssukoo

@shuri-my-love

@inmyheadimobsessed

@letitias-fav

@rxcently

@iwillbiteabitch

@malltake12

@mxyx-rx444

@kiwidreamersstuff

@secretgyals

@awarm-sundaynight

@shurisnewbabymomma

@shurisbigtoe

@darkangelchronicles

@writesbyriri

@locoforshuri

@mbakuetshurisprincess

@bubbleblowinggirl

[belle-keys]

Incoherent thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames (2021) by SJM

Do not expect this to be a critical, unbiased review at all. Eet just ease what eet ease. Spoilers ahead laddies. 

*unwanted preface* 

Okay, so like, you know those things that are neither objectively perfect nor unproblematic yet you love them and are attached to them anyway? Yeah, this is me with SJM’s writing. See, I been with Sarah and Throne of Glass since March of 2015 and with ACOTAR since the summer of 2015 when I was 13 and honestly, ACOTAR in particular occupied a decent portion of my formative teen years. Eventually, when I was about 16 I sort of ended up getting distracted from YA books and went into my thot and kpop era. A main reason for this is that I found ACOFAS particularly disenchanting. This ain’t about that book (sigh) but let’s just say as much as I was still attached to and in love with the ACOTAR world, I was still able to get very annoyed by the decreased quality of the writing and also the evident projecting Sarah was doing onto Feyre with regards to her own life and experiences (ahem). No, the lack of developed POC in the book had nothing to do with it ironically. 

So basically, since the spring of 2018 I haven’t read any SJM yet I never fell out of love with the books either. I’ve sworn off TOG after whatever the hell EOS was, but ACOTAR was always more special and close to my heart by tenfold, honestly. See, the best day of my 2016 was the day I found out ACOTAR was getting the extra 3 novels and 2 novellas. ACOFAS was a dumpster fire but I was actually surprised to really, really enjoy A Court of Silver Flames while it obviously has a couple (multiple) sus facets to it. The susness aside, I thoroughly felt at home reading Nesta’s book despite how irrational that might sound. No, I’m not here to say the book was objectively good but I’m here to say I still enjoyed it despite my love-hate relationship with SJM and her writing. :( :( :( 

That being said imma still roast tf out of a couple aspects of it. :)

*the susness*

Aight wbk that SJM like, projects a lot onto feyrhys right. I’m not even gonna deny it. Like as horrible as it sounds, when feyrhys were, like, struggling as a couple and shit in ACOMAF, that’s when I loved them the most but then the shitstorm that was ACOWAR hit and they couldn’t go without boning every two seconds or calling each other mates and shit and basically every character in the book started kissing their asses (except Nesta) to the point where they were infallibly good and powerful and everyone’s heads were lodged up their asses... I got PISSED OFF then, right.

Now, in ACOSF (is that correct?), they were side characters and, gratefully, that romance between them was toned down. But here are some things concerning feyrhys and the Court of Dreams that irked tf out of me, and the implications that they had for Nesta (who is perhaps one of the baddest bitches ever) had me feeling homicidal towards the IC:

Every single time Nesta said shit about Rhys and then Cassian got mad I wanted to SCREAM like yooo let her roast tf out of him like yeah I get Rhys lowkey did a lot for her both directly and indirectly but cmoooooon not everyone needs to be riding his dick like the man HATED Nesta from the get-go. I loved the idea that someone in the book lowkey abhors Rhys just for the TEA it gave me. Like yeah, okay Cassian, I get that he’s your bro but he can SUCK NESTA’S DICK also like my girl is a DEATH GOD.

Here me out: the Inner Circle completely dehumanized Nesta, they completely disregarded her personal autonomy and caged her in which is ironically the very behavior that was villainized when Tamlin did it to Feyre. First of all they restricted her movement, they made decisions FOR her, they withheld from her knowledge about her own powers, they decided what’s best for her and acted like she was a rabid dog the entire time. Only Cassian and Azriel seem more blameless in this regard, but the level of scorn and abohorence and moralizing Feyre, Elain, Rhys, Amren and Mor did towards Nes made my blood boil. At the end of the day, the Inner Circle did the VERY THING they hated being done to Feyre. Whatever happened to the freedom they professed? The autonomy they decided all members of their court deserved? That was all bullshit, or was this switch-up SJM’s way of creating justifiable conflict between Nesta and the Inner Circle... either way, there was no closure about this and the way they dictated Nesta’s behavior whilst completely mistreating her imo.

More on Nesta’s treatment - okay listen the way the narrative had every character acting like Nesta was fricking scum and for WHAT??? Okay, she didn’t hunt when Feyre and they were poor, she was bitchy, she hates the Fae... okay, why is Nesta still being punished for her mistakes like this by the Court? Does their forgiveness only apply to those in their clique? They’re acting like her drinking and sleeping around and her general bitchy behavior is sooooo toxic when they ALL coped with their respective trauma in questionable ways in their centuries of living. And the narrative never condemned them for this behavior either... like cmon they had an “intervention” about Nesta like if she needed to reach a certain moral standing to be lovable or something. Seems to me that only Cassian was willing to love her, bruises and all... “There’s nothing broken to be fixed. You are helping yourself. Healing the parts of you that hurt too much - and perhaps hurt others too”. But as beautiful as that it, it seems the IC see Nesta’s healing as her “redemption arc” when I never saw her as a villain or monster to begin with. They acted like she had to become deserving of their acceptance. Bullshit.

No cus more on this... Cassian is the only person who defended Nesta, the only person that wanted to help her heal and grow when everyone else wanted to fix her. He was the only person who was kind to her from the original trilogy (i.e. not counting Emerie and Gwyn). He stood up for her and I’ll gush about them in the next section, but the dynamic between Nesta and the IC was the least enjoyable aspect of the book for me. It was clear SJM wanted to spur Nesta towards the path to healing yet only figured out how to do so whilst only keeping feyrhys as the nucleus of this arc, and so she had them force Nesta into her “special journey” (because she loves them so much, cus they’re sooooo perfect right *rolls eye*), yet, the narrative didn’t quite condemn them for their toxicity towards Nesta at ALL, even towards the end. The good thing is that Nesta did not become an ass-kisser throughout the story and laud them for “helping her” every waking second. Only Cassian didn’t shun her for her inner negativity but embraced her. And Az was pretty cool too, can’t hate him.

Ahem, the ending: okay, I’m not even capping, but I hated that Nesta lost her power for feyrhys. I get that she genuinely did it out of love and shit and I’m not even gonna lie, the thought of feyrhys dying had me on the verge of tears cus as much as I hate them, I also love those bitches. Yet, the culmination of Nesta’s power was, what?, to save feyrhys. This way, the narrative put Feyre at the center of Nesta’s narrative towards the end. And Nesta lost that Death God power that she basically EARNED in that Cauldron. This is the biggest flaw of the story. She fought against her own power to give it up... for Feyre. Like??? What??? Why was that baby arc even necessary????? Why was Nesta giving up her power necessary to fulfil her healing arc which was the POINT of the book??? Like what?????? It left a sour taste in my mouth. No- an abhorrent acidic bitter taste in my mouth. 

Elain. I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL. She completely abandoned Nesta and for WHAT??? For Feyre??? This only served to reiterate from the narrative’s POV that Nesta was scum and again, idk WHY. And also, why tf does this girl mistreat Lucien like this??? LUCIEN AKA MY FAVORITE CHARACTER???

I just don’t get how the narrative reiterated that Tamlin is the worst of the worst when you got Rhys hiding shit from Feyre, hiding knowledge of Nesta’s power from Nesta, all of that. Like, was the entire point of ACOMAF not for Feyre to embrace her power and become her best self? Rhys never for one second tolerated withholding Feyre’s power from her. So why tf does this apply to Nesta? Cus she’s unhealthy? Okay... so what??? Why villainize her like this and imply she’s undeserving of her power and a waste of life??? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN LIKE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM??? What did my girl do that was sooooo bad that yall needed to treat her like this. Tell me why feyre and amren and varian and rhys all acted like Tamlin in this book. Cardi voice WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS CUS THEY ACTED LIKE THE FRICKING MORALISING SYCHOPHANTS THEY CLAIM TO HATE.

Like bitch??? They’re like those youth pastors that reiterate how broken and messed up people with mental illness are? Acted like Nesta screwing guys was the worst thing ever when they should have embraced her? Like I get she would push them away but really??? “Waste of life”??? 

So we gon gloss over how Amren was insisting Nesta shut up about the baby business to Feyre (aka hiding shit from her)? How she was implying that Rhys should conquer all of Prythian? Hear me out, even as someone from a Caribbean country that was colonized by the whites, it actually doesn’t bother me when the theme of conquest comes up, like, this is a fantasy novel and colonization does not exist within the same context for me. That being said, like, it felt as if the narrative telling me lil Rhysie is just sooooo perfect that he needs to be High King. Like, I respect the fact that Rhys has no wish to do so. Homeboy never seemed to care for conquest beyond ensuring his Court’s prowess and safety so WHAT WAS THE REASON AMREN??? Like? What kinda crack was Amren on this entire book???

The worldbuilding... listen, the politics and history felt all over the place, felt incoherent and flat honestly. Didn’t bother me as much as it did in ACOWAR but it was just *meh*, not good. Not horrible, but not great. I preferred the world when it was directly the result of Beauty and the Beat and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

The Fae have lost their *magic*: no cus what I loved about the first book was that the Fae were one with the Courts and felt very fleshed out in terms of their powers and shit, but now only Eric and Lucien and Tamlin and sometimes Rhys have that same magic for me. Like... the sensuality of the Fae in terms of their actual Celtic roots, that which felt whimsical and immersive in the first book, feels lost to me. I can’t explain it but I feel less nuance and orthodoxy in their portrayal. However, I DID love this one line featuring none other than the loml : “Amid the pink and white blossoms, the cold-faced Autumn Court heir looked truly faerie - as if he’d stepped out of the tree, and his one and only master was the earth itself”. LIKE I SALIVATED THAT IS MY MAN.

*good stuffs*

Okay let’s talk about the smut like I didn’t like the word choice as usual like quit with the euphemisms and say cock and goooooo. That being said like, okay, I like how she set up the physical dynamic between Nesta and Cassian cus the sex wasn’t some big romantic climactic build-up like how it was in acomaf like they were being NASTY from the get-go and I respect that drip. Like she did not cap on how porny the smut was and thank God it wasn’t some cliche romantic honeymoon type shit, like it was almost on the ao3 level of smutty goodness. All it was was missing was coarse language and hard kinks but in general, I liked the Nessian smut in this book more than the feyrhys smut in particularly ACOWAR and ACOFAS, like Nessian just do not cap.

Listen... you see that whole part when Nesta was like imagining how awesome it would be to dance Lucifer’s Bachata with Az and Cassian? Yeah, my girl just let her thoughts run wild. Like Nesta makes Feyre look naïve. Like you know how Tumblr porn in 2016 used to be with the aesthetic type shit? That’s Feyre, but Nesta is like on Pornhub level and it’s so fitting I was YELLIN lowkey. I feel like less importance was placed on how meaningful the sex and shit should be in the book and I respect that.

YOU SEE WHEN NESTA TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE BABY!!! I WAS CHEERING HER ON. No cause they were being so nasty to Nesta especially Amren and then Feyre entered with all of her moralising shit like honey you KNOW damn well what you’re doing to Nesta is what you hate being done to you. Like damn right tell her, cus I could not STAND the double standard.

The whole training the women thing was a nice touch. It was kinda corny but also sweet. That being said, I laughed so hard when I realized how this entire book was Nesta’s quarter-life hippie rebirth where she learns to meditate and work out and read romance books and face her inner demons like this is some real New York college shit. All that was missing was a Starbucks.

Cassian. Man I love this man so much. No like he displayed peak dilf behavior. I think his attractiveness isn’t based on his bravery or his hotness but his humility man. Like he’s not a thot, he’s respectful, yet tough, yet contemplative. He’s contented with his life station yet wants to always be a better person yet is such a strong rock who really loves Nesta not despite her flaws but because they are part of her. I love the way he stood up to Rhys a lot, he didn’t shame her when she was awful to him, and he is protective (annoyingly so sometimes) but he really wanted her to empower herself. Their relationship isn’t perfect (I’m not in the mood to dissect the problematic aspects rn) but they were so sweet together and I didn’t expect to like them as much as I did back when they were lowkey a thing in ACOMAF.

The mates thing didn’t bother me cus I saw this shit coming since 2016. Yes, it’s cliche and annoying but the mates status also, like, has no meaning to me so it is what it is. Didn’t think they NEEDED to be mates but I was happy that them being mates wasn’t the core of the novel and it was secondary to Nesta’s individual healing journey.

Prepare for me to get sappy but another reason why I loved this novel was because it was a story of healing. :( :( :( The road to healing and growth in the emotional sense is always beautiful to me despite how flawed it often is when SJM writes it. I just felt really immersed in the emotional woes and eventual growth of Nesta despite my issues with the book and this is perhaps one of the main reasons that I found it beautiful, because healing as a theme is always beautiful and raw.

More of Nessian but like their relationship feels so real and raw too. No, cus like, it wasn’t tinged in as much fictitious idealism as feyrhys’ relationship was. They weren’t all stupidly in love and seeing each other in the universe and shit, like they just made each other happy and weren’t portrayed as the perfect soulmates who were each other’s yin and yang and whatever thank the LORD. Them having each other’s back was enough and ughhhh Cassian was just so sweet and such a good trainer and so aloof yet passionate like I been waiting to see more of him since ACOMAF so yayyy.

Okay... that scene where Rhys kneels to Nesta and she embraces him. yes. YES YES YES YES YES that shit was the shit that made my year like I want this man to be in her debt for the end of time like this hoe saved yall like big strong high lord better bow to the “witch” like I could hear angelic choirs at that scene like Rhys doesn’t just yield to people so easily so like, it was just kinda epic okay. Little bitchass Rhys with his perfect little river house and emo boi clothes stfu hoe.

No cus I love how Nesta told Cassian she didn’t wanna hear about Feyre’s special journey or Rhys’s special journey or Mor��s like I got fed up of people acting like they epitomized “good” and the “good path” to self-discovery when they can choke on a baguette as far as I am concerned.

*shit no one except me probs cares about*

Eris. So here is the thing. Since 2015 in ACOTAR when Eris was Under the Mountain being all red-headed and cunning and sexy and evil I have been obsessed with him... well, the idea of him I had in my head and how delectably abhorrent he seems (I like villains and side-characters okay). Maybe it was just his name (Eris is a hot name shut up) or the idea of a rich, cunning fox-faced prince in the same universe appealed to me. Either way, I actually never expected by favorite cameo-character to become... important. I’ll die on the hill of loving him. Here is the thing... I don’t want him to be good, in the same way I did not want Rhys to be a good guy in ACOTAR either. I don’t need him to be a secret angel, I don’t need him to be sweet and good like Rhys always was apparently. Honestly, I want him corrupt but likeable and pertinent to the story. That being said, I really want him as the main character for one of the upcoming novels sooo bad like please PLEASE let me see the autumn court and it’s two-facedness please like if not Eris then Lucien as the main character please.

Lucien... aka my fave character since the first book man. Mannn, SJM does homeboy so dirty like I have always loved Russian fables and hence, I am so ready for Lucien x Vassa x Jurian in the Vasilisa retelling with the firebird trope and Koshei. NO CUS in 2018 I was finna write a 100k word fic about this but then I forgot about it no cap, I still have the story plan in my Onenote actually but let us not reminisce. See, my ao3-loving ass wants an angsty poly relationship and also a hot Koshei I have been waiting YEARS for this you hoes, ever since Elain got the premonition of Vassa as a firebird in ACOWAR like God please please please give it to me and make it feyrhys-less as well yasss.

I lowkey wanna suspect Eris is gay and Mor, also gay, knows and that’s why she lowkey kinda tolerates him now. Yet, I cannot be sure and yeah I just wanna say that I kinda want that arc lmfaooo (my ao3-self is showing shut up).

No cus I was TEASED by only seeing a glimpse of Vassa and Jurian but THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR TIME I KNOW IT.

Tamlin living as a beast is so interesting to me. He’s a side-character now but ughhhh he was so mystical and interesting as our good ole Beauty and the Beast beastie like it’s sooooo mysterious and alluring how he’s becoming his own villainous legend like I still care about Tamlin’s blond ass self despite everything. 

Give us the snowball fight scene you coward.

I just gotta say Nessian could outsmut Feyrhys any day and that makes me proud.

FRICKING AZRIEL like first of all Mor doesn’t NEED to come out until she’s ready but she gotta let the man down nicely some other way so he can move on. I do not like Elain. Never did. I still do not. I do not, frankly, want a whole novel where she and Azriel fall in love and she rejects Lucien like... okay, I DO want her to reject Lucien so he can be with Vassa at the very least but also I am not interested in Elain’s POV rn. BUT I WANT AZ’S POV AND LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I WANT MY EMO BOI TO BE HAPPY. This is so frustrating cus Az is a walking DILF right and so, what am I supposed to do now.

I kinda miss the Spring Court just a little. It’s pretty shut up. It got that Zuhair Murad fashion too. 

Umm like, what the hell is up with that business with Helion being Lucien’s dad? We need more on this which is why I want a Lucien POV book goddammit.

Yoooooooo yall remember that bitch from ACOWAR who hybern was finna kill and she had a name and everything and then there was some foreshadowing and shit? What’s up with her? Like I can’t even remember her name lowkey but yeah what’s up with that. Was it something like Briar or Briannon or somthing???

Is Mor getting a book? Like deadass I need the Lucien and Vassa book, I need the Eris book, I need the Mor book and I need the Azriel book. Damn. Been waiting 6 years for some of this shit.

Okay that is all for now. Yes, this book has problematic elements at every level but I still loved it yet also hated some things about it. I won’t read House of Blood and Earth nor will I finish the TOG series but I guess I’ll stick with this series which remains near and dear to my soul despite what people gotta say about it. It made me happy and that’s what matters. Nesta is a huge ass inspiration to me as a character and I still wanna see her make the Inner Circle’s life a living hell uwu. I admittedly got HELLA emotional reading this story because it’s nonetheless super meaningful to me even at age 19 and it’s really powerful for me as a comfort book, and I look forward (a little) to what this woman put out next... sort of.

Signing off! Don’t @ me (okay you CAN @ me but idc).

[yeetedintoouterspaces]

☁️💫 Lover- Miya Osamu x Reader ☁️💫

The first date Osamu and Y/n had was really memorable. Osamu felt so familiar yet she's only known him for 20 seconds. She felt like she has known him for 20 years. Something about him makes him feel different from other guys she's met. They clicked instantly together and the rest was history.

The two have been together since 17 and have been inseparable since. Y/n learned to fall for this man more and more every single day, learning something new about him long the way. Everyday there was a new reason to fall for him all over again. It was truly like a fairytale.

Y/n wish that the two can continue to stay this close for the rest of their lives. She's just so in love with the man. Who could stop her?

That's not to say Osamu didn't love her the same. He loves that girl to death and he would kill anyone who made her sad. She has always been by his side. She was there when he still played volleyball and she still stuck with him when he open Onigiri Miya. He will forever be grateful to her and he will protect and cherish her for the rest of his life as a thank you.

The two continued to celebrate every milestone together. Their first date, their wedding, their first child ( more like their first set of twins ), their first house so on and so forth. They have celebrated every first together now and the whole journey has been amazing.

The two are now working at Onigiri Miya. Osamu obviously being the chef and Y/n taking orders. " 'Samu, table 46 ordered to Miya specials and a salmon Onigiri." Y/n announced. "Hai!" He replied back.

Work has always been stressful for the two. They are both also quite young, being 24 and 25 respectively. The two are running their business together and have kids despite being so young.

Osamu and Y/n were now on their break, letting the other employees take over for now. Y/n went to buy some food for the two and Osamu just sat at the bench in the park while waiting for her.

"Hey handsome," a voice called out. Osamu didn't recognise the woman's voice and looked up to see who it was. It was a woman with a slender figure with hair that was as dark as coal. She was pretty but nothing could beat his wifey.

" 'Watcha want?" He asked. The lady smirked and sat next to him, "oh~ an accent. How charming! How about you and me get to know each other a little more?"

Osamu was pissed now. This was disgusting! He bitterly replied, " No can do, I'm waiting for my wife." Osamu stood up, getting ready to walk away from her. The lady grabbed onto his arm and continued to flirt with him.

Osamu was clearly getting done, he pushed her off and spat, "get away from me. I have a wife and a family. I don't appreciate what you're doing."

Y/n was walking back and she saw a woman hanging onto her man. And he was clearly not having it. Oh hell no. Shit is about to get down now.

She walked over with a scary, angry aura. "Hey lady! Get off of my man!" She angrily said. "Imma throw some hands if I have to and I'm not afraid to so back off!" Osamu was lowkey enjoying this. Angry Y/n is smoking hot. He was sweating from the heat!

The lady was clearly scared of Y/n. To be fair, who wouldn't? No one messes with an angry mother, that's a death wish right there. Y/n pouted and linked arms with Osamu, "that'll teach her," she mumbled.

"Woah there babe, yer' mad at her or sumthin'?" Osamu joked as he pat her back, trying to calm her down. Y/n pouted and looked away from him, embarrassed at the fact that she was kind of jealous of the lady. I mean she was really pretty and plus after being a mom, Y/n had a bunch of stretch marks.

Suddenly, the aura was gloomy. "What's up Y/n? Why the long face?" Osamu asked, genuinely concerned now.

"Ne 'Samu, don't you think I'm not as pretty as I used to be?" Y/n was quite ashamed of herself. She couldn't believe she asked her husband this. His eyes widened in shock as he realised what she said. "Y/n you're a goddess. I dunno watchu mean one bit. You're beautiful alright?"

He pecked her on the forehead and held her hand tightly as they walked back to Onigiri Miya. "Thanks 'Samu. I needed that." Y/n smiled as she leaned onto his shoulder.

"It's all good Y/n, with every scar or stretch mark or whatever ya'have, I'll love you a million times more because yer my wife. I'm responsible for everything that happens to you darlin'." Osamu says as he kisses her on the cheek once more.

"Plus your mom bod' is pretty hot babe," Osamu admitted, Y/n is still attractive even after all these years. " 'Samu this is making you sound like your into MILFs but I'll forgive you this time." Y/n cheekily joked. "Shut it Y/n. Don't ruin the moment sweetheart." Osamu chuckled at her.

"I'm lucky to have you as my lover 'Samu." Y/n says as she kisses his cheek. He is adorable. "Mm same here Y/n. Now let's get back, the food's getting cold."

"You're my lover~ ♡"

"Y/n I swear to God one more time you reference Taylor Swift I'll-"

"You love me too much to do anything sweetie."

"Gosh darn it Y/n you're right."

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 23: Enter Mousse! The Fist of the White Swan

*yawn* Wow, I finally got some good sleep. Back to the Ranma Rewatch, then. Hey there, long time no see, going to try and get back on track. This week we’re still in the middle of the season 2’s opening story arc, and another main character shall be introduced to us. Will I like him better than I did ten years ago? Only way to find out is to look at the next paragraph, from when I’ve watched the episode.

This episode raised my hopes and then gently lowered them a little, but on the whole I’m happier than I thought I would have been.

The story starts with Akane taking Ranma to see Dr. Tofu, under the assumption that as someone with lots of experience with Chinese medicine, he’d be able to fix what Cologne did to Ranma. Sadly, the technique used is something only a master could do, far outside of his wheelhouse. However, there is one thing he could do.

To counteract the Full Body Cat Tongue, Tofu hits a different pressure point in Ranma, one named after old men from Tokyo. Why? Because apparently they’re well known for being able to stand even the most scalding heat in their baths, and this technique gives the user that same ability. Sure enough, it let’s Ranma return to his uncursed state, but there’s a catch. Kasumi calls, turning Dr. Tofu into a bumbler before he can give the warning, so Ranma and Akane just head to school.

After class, Akane harangues Ranma into taking her out for food, which their classmates immediately notice has a lot of romantic energy to it. Then Shampoo and Cologne appear, amazed that Ranma somehow found a way around the elderly amazon’s strategy, but Cologne seems sure anyway that this won’t be an issue.

But wait! Out of nowhere, someone new appears. His name is Mousse, and he’s a man from the amazon village who has been in love with Shampoo since they were kids. He has terrible eyesight, so bad that he frequently mistakes people for the love of his life, and after a series of confusions he learns that Shampoo is dead set on marrying Ranma.

Mousse attacks Ranma, and challenges him to a manly duel for Shampoo. But she refuses that, so instead makes the duel over Akane for seemingly no reason, which Ranma agrees to. Oh, and he’s known for using ‘dark magic’ which is in practice more sleight of hand and weapon-based techniques.

That evening, Akane is doing what she frequently does when pissed off, namely training in the dojo. Ranma shows up, clearly aware he really stepped in it and wanting to make amends by making it clear there’s no way he’s going to lose to Mousse.

But Akane makes it clear that isn’t why she’s mad. The reason she’s upset is that she doesn’t belong to Ranma, and she won’t belong to Mousse. She’s her own person, and this duel doesn’t respect that. Hell, if he loses that’s fine with her, she’ll just beat up Mousse herself. The entire family shows up, interpreting this as kind of a romantic confession to Ranma.

The next morning, it Dr. Tofu calls and gives the warning he’d meant to tell them earlier: the technique he used is a one-use, so if Ranma gets splashed, he’s stuck again. Akane only finds this out after Ranma takes a dip in the pond while sparring with his dad, and they all freak out over what he’s going to do. Why none of them think to just tell Mousse that Ranma has a Jusenkyo curse, I have no clue.

Someone, Cologne probably, turned the match into a huge spectacle, with food carts and seating around the arena and everything, there’s a huge crowd. Ranma’s late, but that’s only because he made a disguise to hide his cursed body. He clowns around a little at first, having prepared a bunch of lame magic tricks, but then ‘does a trick’ by ‘turning into a girl’, giving him an excuse for how he looks.

Mousse buys it, but he’s angry that Ranma’s not taking it seriously. He takes of his...robe? Tunic? Whatever, either way he’s buff as hell under there, and an attack from his barbed footwear ruins the front of Ranma’s stage assistant outfit, bearing his boobies to everyone. This causes a bunch of men in the audience to storm the fighting area so they can sexually assault Ranma and then I paused Hulu and stared at my computer screen for three full minutes before continuing the episode.

*sigh* Anyway, the Kuno siblings show up, interfere with the fight, Mousse gets deadly series, then Akane reminds Ranma he can use his new technique in battle, which he does to win. Then a bunch of his admirers crowd Ranma, and Akane is annoyed. Done.

Let me get into the stuff I found really interesting with this episode, to start with.

The first half was honestly just really enjoyable. Akane and Ranma had a really good chemistry going on, it reminded me a lot of the episode where Shampoo first showed up. There was a casual closeness to them, still tempered with occasional arguments, that was just cute.

I also liked that they thought to try asking Dr. Tofu for help, since his expertise has helped so often in the past. Making it clear this was a problem he could only barely help out with, and only one time, sold how Cologne and what she’s done to Ranma isn’t something that’s going to be solved easily.

What was a bit odd in that scene was we actually got to see the curse take effect, as Ranma’s torso changed, something I’m fairly sure we’ve never gotten that much detail on. It’s usually either off-screen or a cutaway. But I like we saw it with the curse turning him back to his uncursed form, since it emphasized this was Ranma regaining the body that felt right to him.

I’ve talked about this before, but I also couldn’t help noticing throughout this episode the weird dichotomy in who uses Ranma’s preferred pronouns and who doesn’t. Akane, Shampoo, and Cologne all call Ranma ‘he’ even when he’s in a feminine form, but Akane’s siblings call him ‘she’ instead.

The dojo scene was also a treat for me. I just kind of love how it put the focus on how this whole arrangement devalues Akane. Both the engagement from their parents and the terms of this duel take away her say in what she does with her life, and she isn’t having it. It almost sounded like she was comforting Ranma, taking a burden off his shoulders, when she told him he didn’t have to stress over the fight because she’d be fine either way. I am here for Akane stressing her independence and making it clear that no matter what happens in the fight, she is her own person.

That was a lot of nice stuff, but sadly the second half of the episode didn’t really carry it through. It wasn’t terrible, but the fight wasn’t really anything special, and the whole bit with the guys storming Ranma...yeah. Didn’t care for that. But hey! It’s finally time to do another Character Spotlight!

Unlike Cologne, who I am still holding off on doing a Spotlight for since I don’t feel like we’ve gotten to really see enough of her yet, this one episode basically gave us most of what we need to know about Mousse, so let’s just do it.

In terms of voice acting, his English performer is Brad Swaile. He’s done quite a few things, but he’s most well known for being the voice of Light in Death Note, which is quite a funny comparison. Both characters have huge egos, that’s to be sure, but Light is usually taken seriously, while at least in the dub Mousse is basically just a joke the entire time. Swaile plays him very comedically, which does fit the generally goofy tone of his character.

It is in contrast, however, to his original Japanese voice actor, Toshihiko Seki. Like a lot of the seiyuu, he has done a million things, but of particular note are his roles as Legato Bluesummers from Trigun, another anime I love quite a bit, and as the Japanese Dub actor for the Tenth Doctor in Doctor Who. Honestly, finding out the Japanese dub castings is a treat every time I do a Spotlight. But anyway, Seki largely plays Mousse more seriously, as a confident warrior, only going for comedy with how over-the-top some of his attacks get, considering how silly they are. I’m going to tentatively say this is another performance I think works than the dub, which is fairly rare for me as far as anime go.

So, who exactly is Mousse? Well, like I said before, Mousse is Shampoo’s childhood friend, and the first member of their tribe we’ve met who is a guy. His character motivation is literally just that he wants to be with Shampoo, and will beat up/kill Ranma to get her. Pretty simple.

What makes him silly is the combination of his terrible eyesight, a fairly common trope that now that I think about it is kinda ableist, and how he fights. He’s a master of hidden weapons, but more often than not the items he’s fighting with are silly things, like a toilet or a yoyo. Combined with his high self-confidence, and Mousse is fairly Kuno-like, only quite a bit sillier.

Only enough though, he’s more similar to Kodachi than to Tatewaki. Why? Well, because he’s deadly. Of all of Ranma’s primary rivals/reoccurring antagonists, Mousse is easily the one most ready to kill, not unlike Shampoo. When he gets serious, he trades in the silly weapons for genuinely dangerous weapons. He started choking Ranma with his bare hands in their first encounter, then tried doing it again with rope not long afterwards. Ryoga might talk a lot about killing Ranma, but Mousse has done a lot more to actually attempt that.

All of that said, I’m pretty ambivalent on Mousse. I don’t hate him, but of all of Ranma’s primary rivals, he’s easily the most boring. He doesn’t have the je ne sais quoi of Ryoga or the pompous elitism of Kuno, he’s just a deadly joke character who’s obsessed with Shampoo. Maybe my opinions will change over the course of the rewatch, but for right now I’m still pretty meh on him.

But you know what I’m not meh on? This episode! Even with the weaker second half, the first ten minutes or so were good enough that I’m overall pretty sunny on it. Listen, I’m an easy mark, give me some Ranma/Akane fuel and some decent drama, and I’m happy. I’ll put this in the top half of episodes so far between the ending of the fight between Ranma and Kodachi and the climax to Shampoo’s introductory arc.

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’  

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 15: Enter Shampoo, the Gung-Ho Girl! I Put My Life in Your Hands

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 19: Clash of the Delivery Girls! The Martial Arts Takeout Race

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 13: A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 23: Enter Mousse! The Fist of the White Swan

Episode 17: I Love You, Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye

Episode 20: You Really Do Hate Cats!

Episode 16: Shampoo's Revenge! The Shiatsu Technique That Steals Heart and Soul

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 22: Behold! The 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' Technique

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 21: This Ol' Gal's the Leader of the Amazon Tribe!

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

Episode 14: Pelvic Fortune-Telling? Ranma is the No. One Bride in Japan

Episode 18: I Am a Man! Ranma's Going Back to China!?

But once again, this arc still! Isn’t! Done! No, the end of the Phoenix Pill Arc, if you want to call it that, comes next week with “Cool Runnings! The Race of the Snowmen". Most of my memories of this episode come from a YouTuber I used to follow hating on it, but I’m ready to give it a fair shot. See you then!

[aslibekroglu]

i’m not really annoyed that they aren’t fully back together yet, i’m just kind of annoyed with eda. on one hand, i completely understand where she’s coming from because of everything she’s been through. on the other hand, she’s completely out of line. like her challenging him about work the last couple of episodes. baby, that has nothing to do with you. it’s literally his company, of COURSE he wants everything to be done right. he literally checks everything. and her keeping insisting that she wants him to stay away from her, like that was what her side of the deal was in the bet they made about balca. like????? no you don’t. what would happen if he actually took you seriously, girl? how would you feel then? i know this is just her like testing him and but if truly comes off like she wants him to think she doesn’t want him at all. she’s just so stubborn, i wish she would be open about her feelings and talk to him, instead of him constantly pouring his heart out and getting it broken every time she pushes him away again. and with her saying all of these things, she still gets mad about balca? but then again i get where she’s coming from because she’s been through A LOT from him and the whole secret thing but he’s done a lot of evolving so i really don’t know how to feel. it’s just her attitude and how she lowkey talks down to him the last few episodes for me.

Honestly, I was annoyed at the exact same thing. With the work thing, I was like Eda girl this has nothing to do with you, your relationship, or how much he trusts you, it was about work and it was very important to him, and like you said, it’s his company, of course he’s going to want to check everything.

With the whole Balca thing, I wouldn’t have been so annoyed if Eda wasn’t still planning on leaving. Like if she wasn’t ready to get back with Serkan but was still willing to work at the company, then that would have given us some indication of a chance, some hope (maybe that’s the wrong word, because we obviously know that they’re going to get back together but whatever). So that moment when Eda and Melo were talking and she was saying how her time here is almost up and that she was leaving, I was just reminded that she, at this moment, really doesn’t have any intention on getting back together with Serkan no matter how bad she wants to. So then I just got pissed off, because it’s like, then why are you so bothered about this Balca thing??? If you are not planning on being with him, if you’re leaving and planning on not seeing him ever again, then why should it matter that someone else is interested in him???

Not to bring up Erkenci Kuş again, but it reminded me so much of when Sanem and Can were broken up in the 30s, I think it was like episode 31-34, when he had been the one to break it off, did not want to get back together with her, and was planning on leaving, but he was superrrrr jealous of Yiğit, to the point of telling her that she like couldn’t work with Yiğit and she couldn’t be around him or whatever, EVEN THOUGH he was leaving. The only reason why I’m not as mad about it with Eda is that at least she wasn’t trying to control Serkan and much as Can was with Sanem, like Eda just wanted to prove to Serkan and for him to admit that Balca was interested in him. That isn’t too bad.

But I am just trying to rationalize as, if Eda was a perfect character without any flaws whatsoever, then yes, she would say I’m leaving, I don’t “want” to be with Serkan, so if someone is interested in him, then bana ne. But she’s not a flawless character, you know, she’s jealous and irrational and stubborn. Also I wouldn’t necessarily say that she just testing him, like sure she is trying to see whether or not he’s changing, but she also genuinely felt betrayed by the secrets he kept and feels like she can no longer trust him. Like no matter how much she still loves and wants to be with him, there’s gotta be a part of her that still feels like she can’t fully trust him, so she hesitates and balks, or gets obsessed with some girl that’s literally not even a BLIP on Serkan’s radar lol. Thinking about it like that helps me empathize with her a lot more and calms me down a bit.

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

[princessselene126]

Hey yall, emotional abuse, physical pain (not self harm, just illness pain), brief mention of periods, and shitty parents tws coming up.

So i generally try to keep my personal life off here unless I won’t be posting for a while and want to let you know why (like i did with my ear infection.), but I’m having a really bad week and a half and desperately need to vent. Feel free to completely ignore this because I don’t expect anyone to respond, I just need to get everything off my chest--although any suggestions as to what the fuck I should do are more than welcome.

My dad and stepmom have been controlling any emotionally abusive for pretty much my entire life--because you know, abuse doesn’t just start randomly and it’s not something that you can easily fix.

Anyway. When I went home for my ear infection, my stepmom got kinda mad about it. Mad might be the wrong word, controlling is probably better. I didnt tell her or my dad that I was coming home to see the doctor for a few reasons:

I knew if I told them, they’d tell me i should tough it out and go to class

They’d say that i was being over dramatic and that it couldn’t possible hurt that bad

They’d ask why I couldn’t have seen a doctor in Milwaukee (where my college is and 1.5 hours from home), why I needed to come home for something like that.

So I didn’t tell them. While I was home my stepmom texted me asking how I was doing. At the time she didn’t know I had an ear infection or that I was home, so of course like the idiot I am, I was honest and told her I came home sunday night. Seriously I think honesty is my fatal flaw. She, of course, asked why and I told her that “I cant think right now, let alone take a bus somewhere I’ve never been before. I tried to get into the dr at school, but they dont have any openings until wednesday.” I was able to get into my doctor at home on monday, two full days before I would have been able too at school, so it seems logical that id go home right? I couldnt hear out of my right ear anyway, so it’s not like I would have been able to pay attention in class and actually learn anything. 

She drops it or that day.

But my stepmom, being my stepmom, of course texts me back a few days later (fthursday or friday i think) because she thinks that I should have tried harder to find a doctor here. She said, and I fucking quote this entire goddamn text 

Hey so I just want to clarify with you ... you could have gone to a dr there you know? You guys didn’t have to come all the way home and back. good lord. Just find a clinic thats an urgent care or er. you might have had to pay more out of pocket, but so what? And you have 2 insuraces, so that wouldve helped more too. Just saying. So I thought I’d let you know instead of doing all that craziness back and forth. Make it easier on yourself next time kiddo.

And this has me fucking livid because:

I literally explained to her why I didn’t find someone in Milwaukee days before. 

She’s insinuating that it’s too inconvenient for my mom to come get me.

And my stepdad had off on tuesday, so he gladly took me back too school. No questions asked. No complaints. He even bought my antibiotics for me (which I was totally prepared to pay the $10 for myself) before we left.

She’s talking down to me as if I had no idea that I could do this.

I can’t afford to pay more out of pocket right now, even if I might (read: MIGHT) get reimbursed for it later.

Going home literally WAS making it easier on myself.

So I send a screenshot of this text to my mom of course, and she replies almost immediately just going off. My mom and I havent always had the best relationship (she has some emotionally abusive habits too, but she knows about most of them, acknowledges them, and tries her best to fix them), but I know that she will always be there for me. She’s that person who will drive an hour and a half just to come make sure someone is okay, and she has done so 2-3 times in my 2 years at college. She doesn’t care if I’m 45 and living on the other side of the country, she will drive or by a plane ticket to hep me if/when need it. So my mom is beyond pissed off that my stepmom would ever imply that coming to get me, take care of me, is an inconvenience.

I reply a simple “i know” to my stepmom, because I know better than to give her a long winded explanation. She’ll just come back at me with an even longer block of text basically telling me how wrong/stupid i was to not just see a dr in the area.

And of course, of fucking course, she replies with a long block of text anyway basically telling me the same fucking thing. She does this several times and I keep doing the “i know” “yeah” “okay” thing because I just didn’t have the fucking ENERGY you guys. 

But then she says 

my goodness you’re a peach sometimes. Just trying to help and maybe you guys didn’t think of that. 

So by this point in time my patience was completely GONE. I have absolutely none left. I know when my stepmom calls me a peach it’s just her “nice” way of saying “you’re being a fucking bitch.” ((Keep in mind this entire time I was taking screenshots and sending them to my mom so she could be mad with me.)) And so I fucking went off in the nicest way possible. I tell her

no, you’re trying to be in control of the situation that had absolutely nothing to do with you

I was going to just try going to a dr the next morning, but then my mom called and I was crying and she asked if I wanted to come home, so I said yes. It wasn’t an inconvenience to her, though it feels like you’re trying to make it seem that way. And [stepdad] had off so he was easily able to take me back.

I’m not an idiot, im an adult fully capable of doing things myself. But i also recognized that I needed help and accepted it when my mom noticed I did as well

Because yes. I was in so much pain that I was actually crying from it. I usually have a decent pain tolerance (horrific period cramps will do that to a person), but for some reason whenever I say that I’m genuinely in pain my stepmom never seems to think it could be “that bad.” And... that’s exactly how that went. I was soooo prepared to just tough it out and wait until Wednesday if I absolutely had to. But then my mom called and I may be 20 years old but there are those times when you’re an adult and you just need your parent. You need your parent to tell you it’s going to be okay. You need your parent to hold and comfort you. You need your parent to take you to the dr. And for me this was one of those times. I so very rarely ask for help but this time i needed it, and there’s no reason for my stepmom (or anyone) to make me feel like I should be ashamed of that.

So she said something brief to that and I didn’t reply back. Ne next moring she sends me another text starting off with something along the lines of “I’m hurt by how you treated me last night...” and I didn’t read the rest because I knew it would make me mad. I did, however send a screenshot to my mom again.

The next day I call both my mom and my paternal grandma to talk about this entire conversation.

My mom thinks that I should cut off ties with them for at least a few months because this has been overwhelming me so much. I agree with her, but I’m concerned about my younger siblings (not that they’ll get hurt or anything, but that I won’t be able to see them) and also my aunt is getting married in may.

And my grandma was livid too. She’s never liked my stepmom because she’s always thought that she’s treated me like shit. (For a long time i mistakenly believed that my stepmom was a better person than my mom, but I was an impressionable child/teenager then). My grandma and I talked about times when stepmom made me feel bad about myself or treated me as lesser than my half siblings. And my grandma agrees that I should keep my distance, but she asked me to not cut ties, and to keep a decent amount of peace, until after my aunt’s wedding.

Which I understand. I get it. I love my aunt a lot and I truly dont want to cause any problems at her wedding, she deserves the world. But at the same time I don’t know how much longer I can take this you guys. I’m supposed to go to a water park for a night with my dad, stepmom, and siblings during my spring break (it was a christmas present from my dad to the family) and I’m absolutely dreading it. I don’t want to go. My mom says I should just lie and say I have to work, but again, fatal flaw here is honesty, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that. I want to see my siblings too, but I really need to start taking care of myself.

I’ve spent far too long worrying about my family even after not living at home for the last two years. I need to take care of myself. I do. But I honestly don’t know how to do that without causing a family feud in the process.

And the reason this was all triggered again today (after not having talked to anyone on my dad’s side since saturday) is because I got a call from a random number while I was in class today. It was a call from my home city and whoever it was left a voicemail. In the back of my mind I started worrying that it was my dad and that he wanted to talk me into not being upset with my stepmom (he’s a terrible person too but that’s a rant for a different day).

I have yet to listen to it because the idea of talking about this with him makes me nauseous. At the same time, not knowing who called is making me overwhelmingly anxious. I don’t know what would be best:

Ignoring the voicemail, or listening to it and potentially having to talk to my dad?

Toughing out being around my family until after the wedding, or risk causing a family feud by cutting ties?

I just... I’m so lost you guys.

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 06 + 07.11.19 lbs

still cranky af coz i'm tired from yesterday and my cat won't stop screaming in my face FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON this morning and ughhhhhhhhhhh. so imma pay it forward and caps lock scream at these dumbasses.

———————————————————————

06.11.19

YEH INSAAN PAGAL HAI KYA, TERE KO KOIIIIIIIIIIIII AUR SOLUTION DIKHAAYI NAHI DE RAHA SIVAAYE KHUD US SE SHAADI KARNE KE!?!!?!? LIKE GOD SIDDHANT, YOU ARE SO FUCKING DUMB.

le khaap panchayat bhi peeche pad gayi hai. LORD. THIS COUNTRY IS HONESTLY THE PITS WITH ITS DUMBASS PATRIARCHAL BULLSHIT.

"main baat karunga ishani se; woh ek ladki hai, samajh jaayegi."

BC LADKI TOH MAIN BHI HOON AUR MUJHE TOH BILKUL BHI SAMAJH NAHI AA RAHA. KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAKCHODIIIIIIIII HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

this dumbass is tooooooooo fucking pure for his own good. like........ itna bhi achcha nahi hona chahiye bande ko zindagi mein.

waah. iska chehra dekho. kaisi ram milaaye jodi hai bewakoofon ki.

ishani also too pure for her own good. but in a relatable sort of way, unlike that other idiot.

oh madam, tere iss seal of approval/character certificate ka kya woh achaar daalega?!!?!? usski poori zindagi jhand ho gayi hai iss chakkar mein.

ok if you've decided that this marriage is gonna work, etc. THEN STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THIS.

this chick is crazy. i get you're relieved he didn’t cheat on you and shit but........  maybe decades from now you can look back and marvel on what a great, noble man you loved, but this is a weird reaction to have right now.

ok fwding this patient’s incredibly-on-the-nose-shaayari nonsense, coz i'm really pissed now.

le poora corridor ghoom phir ke phir se wapis idhar hi aa gayi. 2 minute pehle toh bada aashirwaad de rahi thi iss shaadi ko. MAKE UP YOUR MIND SIS.

ugh lo yeh bhi aa gaya.

MANHOOS.

siddhu should claim surging newlywed/paternal hormones and throw a punch or two at this asshole.

WAIT WHAT HAS THIS FUCKER SHIFTED HIS REVENGE FROM SHASHANK TO SID?!!?!?!? WHY?!!?!?!? THE FUCK IS GOING ONNNNNNNNNNNNN?????

waaaaaaah kya khush-haaal jodi hai. should be a real healthy and conducive environment to raise a kid in!

wow. EVERYONE KNOWS THE WHOLE DEAL WITH SID AND ASHA NOW. like..... there's no keeping a secret in this hospital huh. 

oh ab issko bada empathy hai bin byaahi maa-on ke saath. ROSHNI KE SAATH KYA KAAND KIYA THA BE!?!?!?! BOL! SACH BOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

ugh stupid red herring. goddddddddddd when will they reveal this raaz already!?!?

lol sid's in the (left) corner in this shot, and then disappears in this next.

snort, ishani has ZEROOOOOOOOOO of that 4 lions awareness thingy huh??? banda 4 feet peecha khada hai and she's most focused on her gale ki kharaash.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE SURPRISED HER AND MADE HER CHOKE. HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH TO RUIN HER LIFE, DUMBASS?!!?!

"god, tum choke kar rahi ho?!?!?! JUST BREATHE."

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, WOHI TOH NAHI HO RAHA?????? YOU THINK SHE’S A WILLING PARTICIPANT IN THIS HERE EXERCISE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM THE ESSENTIAL PROCESS OF BREATHING????? KAUN HAI YAAR YEH BEWAKOOF?!?! SHAADI KARTE TIME MEDICAL KI DEGREE RADDI MEIN BECH AAYA KYA?!?! YA HAWAN KUND MEIN PHENK DIYA AUR USSI KE PHERE LAGAAYE THE TUNEY?

lmao this is the worst, most unconvincing heimlich i have ever seen.

uh. no. this is NOT a romantic moment.

oh no. the tone shifted and it BECAME a romantic moment. fuck. just either make out or move the fuck to the two furthest corners of the elevator. THIS TENSION IS FUCKING INSANE.

oh god this boy's unrelenting sadness is killing me. it's bloody killing me. i think i might have to double my dose of antidepressants while this fucking track is on.

boss!dad is so sad and disappoint that his ship crashed and burnt so spectacularly. he’s been here since before everyone else, when ishani was manically describing her titli and abnormal heartbeat!!!!!! :’(((((((((((

lmaoooooooooooo i wish anjali was here to hear shashank giving this personal life/professional life balance ka lecture. bada mazzaaa aaata!

boss!dad ki umeedein sidIsha pe abhi bhi kaayam. saying kuch aur nahi toh dost hi bano ishani ka.

dunno if that’s such a good idea right now, dad. maybe in time, once the feelings aren’t so raw.

GOD PLEASE ISKO ISKI KHUSHIYAAN WAPIS DE DO. ISKA GHAM AUR JHELA NAHI JAATA. CHEHRA DEKHO BECHAARE KA!!!!!!!!!!! I’M THIS CLOSE TO TEARS. HE’S A GENUINELY GOOD BEAN AND DESERVES BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh ho ab inka date dekhna hoga.

juhi is like life mein kabhi kabhi go with the flow. shashank is like "kabhi kabhi kya, hamesha."

haan hamesha aise flow kar-karke hi yeh nateeja nikal aaya hai; pata nahi kitna jaane-anjaane bachche of yours are running around here at any given moment.

................... so ambiguous. is this a romantic saath or is this a platonic saath?? LIKE THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH YOU TWO?!!? JUST DTR ALREADY.

purest boys. love you two.

tu haraami hai. but love your face.

bleh.

lmao rahil can't muster up neil's civil graciousness towards sidAsha.

kameeeeeeeeeeeeena insaan. bohut hi bada keeda hai tu.

rahil yaaar. i love your petty ass so much. you're honestly my favt person on this godforsaken show.

"kaash yeh sapna hota."

"kaash yeh sab ek jhoot hota. kaash sab kuch pehle jaise hota. (hum) iss tarah saamne nahi, saath khade hote."

OH HO. FORESHADOWING KI YEH SAB JHOOT HI TOH HAIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

———————————————————————

07.11.19

RISHABH I SWEAR TO GOD....... TU ITNAAAAAAAAAAA KAMEENA KYUNNNNNNNN HAIIIIIIIII????? BHAGWAN KO BHI EK DIN MOOH DIKHAANA HAI, KUCH TOH SHARAM KAR?!?!!!!!

while neil continues to make an effort, rahil continues to make no pretense of approving of sidAsha. he just wandered the fuck off, lol.

OUFF SAD BEBBIES. SO SAD THEY ARE.

grey is really this one's colour. he looks hottesttttttttt in it. it brings out his eyes/skin tone most spectacularly.

oh ab suddenly Awareness™ (*khushi kumari gupta's voice correcting me from the skies* “ACIDITY!!!!!”) jaag utha.

SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHO THE FUCK IS SETTING OFF FIREWORKS RIGHT OVER A FUCKING HOSPITAL??????? like it's no metaphor or anything, since they've been going off since even before he appeared before her.

the fluctuating of the lights is majorlyyyyyyyyy distracting. it's not just the fairy lights, but even the huge lamps behind them.... those should.... NOT be doing that.

IDIOTS. STOP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT AND MAKING ME WANT TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

simultaneous "i love you."

wow, inappropriate but also AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH [screams till the end of time]

ugh vardhan you're such a loserrrrrrrrrr. get a goddamn life. it's diwali; shouldn't you be with your kid, instead of sitting here alone in your office in the dark?????

"i love you, ishani. i really do. bohut pyaar karta hoon main tumse."

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH I AM DESTROYED. I AM FUCKING...... LYING ON THE FLOOR IN PIECES. THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING SAD.

"surgery mein kabhi kabhi humein ek pal mein faisla lena pad jaata hai. fayda-nuksaan, sahi-galat ke baare mein nahi soch sakte. uss ek pal mein patient ki jaan kaise bachaaye? bass ussi tarah, uss din asha aur uske bachche ki jaan bachaane ke liye, mujhe jo sahi laga maine wohi kiya. main ek doctor hoon, apne saamne ek ladki aur uske bachche ko main marte kaise dekh sakta tha???"

ugh siddhanttttttttttttttttt yaaaaaaar, TU ITNA ACHCHA KYUN HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?????? ZINDAGI KUCHAL KE RAKH DETI HAI TUM JAISO KO YAAR.

ok some hardcore 2000s k-soap editing happening here and taking me outta the moment.

iska naatak abhi tak khatam nahi hua.

SO VARDHAN KNOWS THAT SID IS SHASHANK'S KID???? WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT IS HAPPENING HERE???? WHY GO THIS COMPLICATED AND TWISTED ROUTE INSTEAD OF JUST EXPOSING THAT TRUTH TO EVERYONE????? SUCH CONTRIVED BS!!!!!!

GOD SIDDHANT, YOU FUCKING NEED THERAPY. THROWING YOUR WHOLEASS LIFE AWAY TO TRY AND PROTECT A RANDOM UNBORN CLUMP OF CELLS IS NOT THE WAY TO FUCKING DEAL WITH YOUR DADDY ISSUES.

THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED YOU GETTING ON YOUR KNEES IN FRONT OF HERRRRRRRRRR BUT YES, BEG. BEGGGGGGGGG FOR FORGIVENESS YOU FUCKING DUMBASSSSSSSSS.

bitch, uske tumpar chillane se kya haasil hona hai???? poori zindagi ujaad rakhi hai tuney apne iss Benevolent Bewakoofi™ se.

PHIR I LOVE YOU BOLA. A REAL PASSIONATE ONE THIS TIME. THIS GUY IS FUCKING TRYING TO KILL ME. OF FEELZ AND SADNESS. I'M LITERALLY SO SAD RIGHT NOW.

"i'll always love you.... main..."

FUCK THIS GUY IS REALLY TRYING TO FUCKING MURDER ME MAN.

"pehle toh main pyaar karti thi, ab aur karne lagi hoon. aur yeh pyaar zaroor badhega hi."

ASLKDJSALKDJASLDKJAJD LET THEM BEEEEEE TOGETHERRRRRRRRRRRR THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING UNFAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *SHAKES A FIST AT THE SKY*

"kya kamaal ki niraasha phaila rakhi hai tumne sanjivani mein. tumhare maa-baap ne tumhara naam galat rakh diya, haina dr. asha?"

ugh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar. first of all we have such few female characters here, mardon se bloody bhara pada hai show. upar se iss ek achche compelling female character ka poora ka poora satyanaaash kar diya. main kabhi maaf nahi karoongi writers ko.

blah blah zimmedaari waala gyaan aur amar prem ke vaade, while im just looking at the poor fit of namit's pants in the butt. someone tailor that shit for him. (or don’t. i find pancake butts on hot boys kinda adorable.)

"tumne usse nahi, uski achchaayi ne usse phasaaya."

badaaaaaaaaaaaaa hi kameena insaan hai tu vardhan. narak ki aag mein jalega. if ishani herself doesn't set you on fire in the sanjivani lobby first.

perhaps asha will do the honors? looks toh aise hi de rahi hai. all the best asha. that's one way you can redeem yourself in everyone’s eyes, sis.

"pehle toh main sirf aapse pyaar karti thi. ab hadh se zyaada izzat karti hoon."

lmao ishani admitting that she didn't have any khaas izzat for him earlier.

OUFF ISS PRIDE AUR PYAAR KA KYA HI KARNA HAI IF YOU'RE NOT GETTING CHUMMIS AND/OR ORGASMS OUT OF IT????? GODDDDDDDD. AB TOH ~~~PRIDE KE SAATH~~ APNA HAATH, JAGGANNATH HI HAI TUM DONO BEWAKOOFON KE LIYE, AGLE JANAM TAK.

fuck this episode is..... too much on me. i'm just hella glad that my period is over, or i would slip into a serious depressive episode over this.

but just..... LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT THE WAY HE CAN’T HELP REACHING OUT TO HOLD HER FACE, THEY BOTH KNOW IT’S INAPPROPRIATE AND ARE TRYING TO RESTRAIN THEMSELVES, BUT HE STILL CAN’T STOP TRYING TO PHYSICALLY COMFORT HER (BECAUSE TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN.) AND HE CAN’T COZ HE SHOULDN’T AND HE’S DYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE OF IT.

I AM IN LEGIT PHYSICAL PAIN FROM SADNESS RIGHT NOW.

i wanna hate asha, but i can't. coz i can really empathize and understand the desperation with which she wants to hold on to her current life, against the forces of patriarchy trying to crush her free will so brutally .

ok maybe i hate her a little, if she'll listen to this fucker and actively make sid's life hard, moreso than what has already transpired.

MAN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM GOD I NEED ISHANI AND ANJALI TO TEAM UP AND KICK THIS ASSHOLE'S ASSSSSSSSSSS FOR MESSING WITH THEIR LIVES AND THE LIVES OF THEIR DUDES (DAD/BROTHER/BOYFRIEND) SO BADLYYYYYYYYYYY

———————————————————————

tell me sidIsha ke andar ke detectives phir jaag uthenge and will resolve this bullllllllllllshit within next weeeeeek, COZ I HONESTLY HAVE AN ANXIETY TUMMY ACHE RN.

[cowboyviolence]

Hewwo! I wouwd wike to wequest 3, 14, 15, 17 of Pox, and 19 of aww youw favowites/whoever you wanna tawk about >:3

I will forgive you for using UwU speech just this once. (This one is long so its under the readmore) 

3.  How did you choose their name? >:3 you're tricky. You at least partly know the answer. His full name is Pollux, and he and his brother were named after the Gemini twins. It originally  was related to a storyline that got scrapped but the name stuck over the years.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? 

1. He’s selfish- Most of the things he does is for his own gain. It would be (usually) out of character for him to help a stranger, and he definitely would take advantage of someone for his own gain.   

2. ...HOWEVER he loves his family. (“Family” being primarily Shiloh and then expanding to other characters later on). And while he pretends to not care sometimes he absolutely does, and it is completely in character for him to do something selfless for them. Though that’s rare, he’s still a jackass15. What is something about your OC that can make you laugh? He wears that stupid suit everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Outside in a 100 degree desert. To bed. He bathes in the damn thing. What a jackass. (The only time he dosent wear it is when hes wearing armor)17 . Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

 Hm, guess I would make his plotline mesh more with the main storyline. It’s sort of it’s own thing that exists inside of the  larger story and dosen’t always connect in the most elegant of ways, but is ultimately important so its hard to change it.19. What is your favorite fact about your OC? I uh... did the main 16 Riff: He loves music and plays a lot of different instruments! He also loves to sing! Is super proud of his heritage and sings a lot of Irish folk tunes. Tangent: He loves plants! He spends a lot of his free time figuring out how to grow flowers in the gulch while he’s there. Also he just fuckin loves his girlfriendBacktrack: sweet...boy… he’s just. Full of love for his friends! I love how protective he is of them V: HE’S A GOOD DAD. He’d do anything to protect his kid(s)!Felix: He’s so fucking dumb. And yet somehow managed to get into one of the top military operations in the universe through sheer dumbass willpower. Also he has lazer rollerblades Kirby: He’s like, an actual conspiracy theorist  but no one knows because all the other characters are batshit and he seems normal in comparison Rally: The fact that he has a cowboy aesthetic for no real reason other than he wants to. He’s not even from Texas. The accent is fake!Ellie: She’s primarily a pacifist, but occasionally meets someone who pisses her off SO MUCH that she makes an exception. There’s like 3 specific men who shes like “These people deserve to be in hell and I’m gonna put them there myself.” Cobalt: He’s been through so much and yet still keeps going. He’s one determined motherfuker. Mz. Natalie: She’s really good at interacting with people. She has to deal with a bunch of weird jackasses everyday but takes the time to  get to know them and their individual quirks Cherrybomb: She’s the greatest fighter of her generation, and she got there by working her ass off. Despite being put on a pedestal she’s still kind to everyone she meets (who isnt an ass)Weiss: He essentially function as the “straight man” character and judges everyone else, but he’s actually super weird himself. I mean, he dresses like a cowboy twink, c’mon. Spade: She’s so smart and knows so many random things. She’s sort of a jack-of-all trades and seems to have done everything. Been in a circus? check. Been a ballerina? Check. Been a spy? yep! Chess: She genuinely really, really cares about other people. She may seem scary since she’s big and loud and could probably kill you with one punch, but  she’s extremely loyal to her family and friends and would probably die for them Shiloh: Despite being a medic, this man has absolutely no medical training of any kind. He just  likes to read a lot. Pox:  He’s always wearing a  top hat, its just invisible so you can't see it.  

[duhragonball]

Continuity

I’m still reading Star Wars comics from the original Marvel run of 1977-1986.   Last night, I made it to the Return of the Jedi adaptation, so now I’ve read all the issues set between that movie and Empire Strikes Back.   As I expected, these comics (#45-80) feel a lot more like authentic Star Wars stories than the pre-ESB issues (#7-38).   The biggest plot hole that I noticed was that Luke still has his lightsaber throughout this period, despite losing it on Bepsin. 

It occurred to me later that this wasn’t necessarily a mistake.   There’s a deleted scene from ROTJ which shows Luke assembling his new lightsaber right before the mission to save Han Solo from Jabba the Hut.   This strongly implies that Luke didn’t have a lightsaber of his own between Episodes V and VI.   This was further supported by the ROTJ radio drama, produced in 1996, which incorporates the deleted scene into the story.   There, Luke expresses frustration with how difficult it is to build a lightsaber, and then he finally realizes that he should have been using the Force to assemble the pieces.   I haven’t read the novelization of the movie, but maybe it was touched on there as well. 

  Later sources indicated that building your own lightsaber is the final ritual for completing your Jedi training.   This is shown in the 2002 Clone Wars cartoon, where Barriss Offee assembles her own saber on Ilum, under the supervision of Luminara Unduli.  I’m pretty sure this scene was inspired by Darth Vader’s line in ROTJ, when he observed that Luke’s training is complete after checking out his badass green lightsaber.   The implication is that building your own lightsaber is difficult enough that Luke would have to be a Jedi Knight just to pull it off.

But in the early 80′s, none of that lore existed, and it would be a simple matter for writers to assume that Luke had no trouble at all getting a spare.  What I find strange is that no one bothered to explain where this spare lightsaber came from.    It’s like the writers just assumed he never lost the first one, but that’s crazy.

Really, the artists on the original Star Wars comics never seemed to be able to keep track of the lightsabers to begin with.    In the early comics, they paid no heed to the color schemes or hilt designs at all.    Not that I would expect late 70′s artists to really worry about props from a movie that had just come out, but they kept coloring all the lightsaber blades at random, and drawing the hilts way too short and thick.  Luke and Vader looked like they were holding soda cans.   The art started to get more true to the movies when Tom Palmer got involved, but one thing I started to notice was how the artists would draw Luke and Vader’s lightsabers on their belts, even when they were holding them, ignited, in their hands.   It was like the artists recognized the lightsaber hilts as part of the characters’ costumes, but they didn’t understand what they were.    I can’t really blame them for this, since the big column of light was what really drew everyone’s attention in the theaters, and it wasn’t like they could look up hilt schematics on Wookieepedia like you can now.  

Anyway, it struck me as kind of interesting how something minor like that can start off as an oversight, and then be easily corrected, or magnified into a major plot hole.    It’d be pretty simple to explain Luke’s between-movie lightsaber. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi had a spare tucked away somewhere, and Luke had been keeping it in storage just in case something like this happened.

Yoda had a spare, and Luke took it with him when he went to Bespin, and put it inside R2-D2′s lightsaber compartment for safe keeping.

Luke found a new lightsaber on a mission.

Luke built a new lightsaber to replace his old one, then lost that guy, requiring him to build the green one in ROTJ.

Luke found/constructed a replacement weapon, but it’s actually a knockoff “laser sword” and it doesn’t work as well as a genuine Jedi design, but it got the job done until he could do the job right.

I find it curious that no one ever bothered to tell any of those stories, though.   The Expanded Universe era of Star Wars multimedia seemed determined to sew up as many continuity problems as possible.   Some writer in the 2000′s did a story to establish that Jedi would swap lightsabers as a gesture of mutual respect, just to explain why Mace Windu’s action figure has a different lightsaber design than the one he has in the movies.   I’m not too worried about this stuff, and I don’t think Jo Duffy or David Michelinie were too worried about this stuff when they wrote Luke carving up Stormtroopers in Star Wars #45-80, but between 1994 and 2008, there were people working for Lucasfilm who were paid to worry about this stuff.   I’m genuinely surprised that no one ever got around to penning Star Wars: Luke’s Spare Lightsaber: The Lobot Chronicles: Dark Tidings.

It’s the little things like this that get lost in the shuffle, I’ve found.   When you read a Star Wars novel or comic book, the major characters are always very consistently portrayed, and the story always sticks very closely to the groundwork laid down in whatever movies were around at the time.   Star Wars #45-80 excelled at this.   Every issue was either about the good guys searching for Han Solo, or dealing with a crisis big enough to pull them away from the search for Han Solo.   I was disappointed that they didn’t spend much time at all having Luke work on his Jedi training, or trying to make sense of Darth Vader being his father, but I think Marvel knew the next movie would address that, so they knew not to wade too deep into that stream.  

The stuff that gets changed the most is the minor characters.   I read one issue where they basically established that Wedge Antilles never made it off the base on Hoth in ESB.   He and “Nice Shot” Jansen had to take cover in the AT-AT Luke blew up, and then they lived in what was left of the base while they waited for the imperials to clear out.   He was stranded there for months, and it was a pretty cool story, but I’m betting that later Star Wars writers decided to ignore this, because they wanted to use Wedge in other stories during that period.  

General Tagge’s another interesting example.   He was the guy on the Death Star in Episode IV, the one who warned that the Death Star was vulnerable while the Rebels had the stolen plans.   Tagge’s kind of a walking continuity error to begin with, because everyone kept getting him mixed up with Admiral Motti, the guy who sassed Vader and got choked out for his lack of faith.  In the Archie Goodwin run on Star Wars, Tagge was killed in the movie when the Death Star exploded, but his brothers and sister turned up as recurring villains with a grudge against the Rebels and Vader alike.  Flash forward to 2015, when Disney took over Lucasfilm, and in the new continuity, Tagge survived the Death Star’s destruction because he happened to leave  right before it went to Yavin IV to get blown up.   This was done mainly to set him up as a rival to Darth Vader in the 2015 Darth Vader comic.    I guess they figured there was no reason to invent new characters when they could just salvage some of the officers from the movie.  Tagge feels more authentic than his siblings because we actually saw him on film.   He’s a “real” Star Wars guy, while rest of his family are just cartoons.    I think that’s the attitude anyway.    Back in 1978, they were probably eager to create new characters because they had tons of world-building to do.   So the 2010′s Marvel comics don’t square with the 1970′s Marvel comics at all, especially where the Tagges are concerned, but Darth Vader’s dealings with them feel pretty consistent.   

The reason I bring up all of this is because I used to think that the continuity in Star Wars was never terribly complicated.   When production of  The Force Awakens got started, Lucasfilm announced that they were rebooting the whole Star Wars canon, declaring all the Expanded Universe content as “Legends”, which no longer counted as official continuity.  The only hard canon sources from now on were the movies, the Clone Wars TV series, and anything published after that announcement.   Naturally, all the post-Return-of-the-Jedi stories would be off the board, which only made sense to me, seeing as Force Awakens would contradict it.   But I figured the other stories could still be made to fit together somehow, since none of them had anything to do with Rey or Kylo Ren or the First Order, or whatever.   

But really, it’s been like that all along.    The novels and comics would introduce some idea, and others would build on it, and then George Lucas would override it with his next project.   Then the writers would have to pick up the pieces.  The 2008-2013 Clone Wars TV series trampled on a lot of continuity from the 2002-2005 Clone Wars books and comics, primarily because George Lucas worked on the TV series, and he was the final word on this stuff.   That announcement in 2014 pissed off a lot of Expanded Universe fans (so much that they bought a bunch of billboards to complain about it), but it was kind of inevitable.   They’ll probably have to wipe the slate clean again around 2040 or so, because there’ll be enough new movies that the comics and novels won’t align with them.

I sort of half-joke about my own fanfiction getting this kind of treatment.   My goal is to write stories that could fit into the established continuity, but I can only work with the continuity I know.    With Dragon Ball, that was easy, until Dragon Ball Super got underway, and Akira Toriyama started writing new stuff.    It was pretty easy to write my own female Super Saiyan, until DBS introduced a couple of their own, and now I have to wonder if they’ll say or do something that might contradict my own take.    Likewise, this Broly movie might establish some new lore that I need to take into consideration.    I can write new material to work around those things, but the stuff I’ve already written is pretty much locked in.    My private joke is that in any of these new animations, a character will just stare at the screen and coldly announce that “Mike’s fanfic never happened.”  

But that’s pretty much what Lucasfilm has been doing to the novel and comics writers for over forty years.    “Splinter of the Mind’s Eye” would have been the official sequel to Star Wars if Empire Strikes Back hadn’t been funded.   Instead, Dengar and Bossk looked at the screen and said “Alan Dean Foster’s novel never happened.”    Return of the Jedi killed every Luke/Leia shipper’s hopes and dreams.    “Oh, those fanfics never happened, my young friend,” Ben Kenobi said from beyond the grave.    Attack of the Clones wreaked all sorts of havoc on Boba Fett’s backstory.   The Force Awakens wrecked the Skywalker-Solo family tree.   “Han and Leia only had one kid, and I’m gonna kick his ass!” Rey shouted asskickingly.   And on it goes.    I read that one writer resigned after they retconned all the stuff she had set up about Boba Fett’s home planet, but that’s the way the game is played, unfortunately.   

Me, I’m just writing my stuff for fun, when it comes down to it.    I like to think all the continuity can be fit together, but the reality is that there’s too many redundant pieces, so they can’t all be part of the same picture.  You can either have Tagge or his brothers, but not both.   You can decide to keep Ben Solo or Jan and Jeice Solo from the EU novels, but not both.    Or you can do an AU, I guess.    They’re all AU’s when you get down to it.   

I suppose that, no matter what, I prefer my own assumption that Luke just didn’t have a lightsaber between Empire and Jedi.    I’ve read too many stories about how there’s more to a Jedi than his lightsaber, and how the best Jedi never use them at all, so it makes sense to me that Luke had to make due without one, and use the loss to force him to refocus on his training.    While the others searched for Han, he was doing cool Jedi homework that he should have been doing on Dagobah, and he purposely waited until he was finished before building a new lightsaber.   That just makes too much sense to me, even if some other version is presented.   But the other stories are still fun to read.   They don’t have to be canon to be enjoyable. 

[diabolikthoughts]

Can you do a scenario of how the Sakamaki and Mukamis would seduce their crush? Nice blog you've got here btw.

Thank you, hope you like this! Sorry this took so long too, school has been really kicking my ass lately rip. Some of the scenarios are fluffy, and some of them are dark. I really can’t see some of the boys treating you as something other than prey or food before they really get to know you.

Sakamaki

Ayato: Ayato watched you with a lustful, and longing gaze. From the way your smooth, (h/c) locks bounced across your shoulders, to the way your hips swished almost seductively when you walked. Ayato adored it all, especially the smell of your blood. His mouth watered in anticipation as he let his tongue slither over his fangs. Ayato very much wanted to make you his, and only his. He knew that he had to claim you tonight. Ayato had grown tired and bored of always watching you from afar. Tonight. Tonight he would take you with him by force, whether you liked it or not. He would sink his fangs into your neck, and would drink your blood to his heart’s content.

“You are mine, Ore-sama won’t have it any other way.”

Laito: Laito had you pinned against the wall as his trademark smirk adorned his appearance. “Ne, Bitch-chan, why don’t we do something fun tonight?” His smooth, breathy voice felt warm against your cheek. You desperately wanted to say something, but your voice caught in your throat as you gazed hopelessly up at Laito. “I’ve been watching you for a long time, you know?” He voiced, a cheerful smile appearing on his lips. It was almost disturbing at how happily, and carefree he said that. “I’ve wanted you for quite sometime now, is this what they call love at first sight?” His words caused an eerie chill to run down your spine. Your breathing became heavier as you stood there, trembling in place. He was absolutely terrifying. His face moved closer until his lips were just a hair away from yours.

“And now, I’ve got you cornered like a mouse.”

Kanato: Angry tears slid down his porcelain-like face as his mouth twisted downwards into a menacing frown. “Why is that whenever I see you… you are always with another man?!” Kanato screeched in anger as his hand held your arm in a vice-like grip, tightening by the second. “Kanato, please calm down…” You mumbled, “he only asked how my day was…” Kanato’s glare became even more chilling at your words. You sighed inwardly, it was no use trying to reason with Kanato when he was in a foul mood. His grip on your arm only tightened. Suddenly, Kanato’s tears abruptly stopped falling as his eyes lit up in realization. “Oh, I know what to do!” A sinister smile made its way onto his lips. He sharply tugged you closer to him, positioning himself in the crook of your neck, his fangs only inches away. “I have to make sure everyone can see that you are my prey.” Kanato harshly sank his fangs into your neck, and the sound of his greedy gulps filled your ears. It felt like an eternity before he finally retracted his fangs. A devilish grin creeped its way onto his face as he admired his work. Now everyone would know you were his.

“You’re mine, okay? Teddy agrees as well…”

Shu: Shu’s arms were wrapped around you tightly as his head rested comfortably on your shoulder. You squirmed uncomfortably, trying to loosen yourself from his grip. A sigh of exasperation left your lips as his grip on you only tightened. “Oi, stop moving. It’s annoying,” he mumbled, annoyance lacing his tone. To some, this may have looked like a form of endearment, and affection. But in actuality, you were nothing more than prey, and a warm pillow to him. “It’s your fault you’re in this situation you know, “ Shu muttered sleepily. “You always cling onto me so it’s only natural that you ended up being both my personal pillow and food,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“So stop moving and let me sleep. You’re mine, you know.”

Reiji: “Don’t be so stiff, and get rid of that slouch. It’s unbecoming for a lady,” Reiji uttered, his tone a bit bothered. “I invited you for tea my dear,” he sighed in exasperation. “I didn’t invite you with the intent to suck your blood, although I certainly would not mind.” He had a sneer on his face, the jerk had the audacity to tease you. Reiji was generally polite towards you, if not condescending. You seldom irritated him, but when you did cause him annoyance, he could dish out stinging insults. He gestured towards the tea set with his hand, motioning for you to take a cup. A content smile made its way onto his appearance, “do enjoy,” he voiced as he calmly drank.

“You are mine, so I expect nothing less than a refined, and proper attitude from you.”

Subaru: “Stop moving around so much! You’re pissing me off!” Subaru’s pale, muscular arms held you firmly against his chest. Without warning, he abruptly rips off the collar of your uniform before nestling himself in the crook of your neck. “You reek of other men, it irritates me.” Against you, Subaru’s voice was muffled, but the warning was clear and all the same. He gives you no warning as he harshly bites into you. The pain startles you, and you feel yourself growing faint. Subaru’s aggressiveness grew by the second, and it felt like he had no intention of stopping. It felt like an eternity had passed before he finally let go of you.

“You’re mine! Stop hanging around those bastards…”

Mukami

Ruki: His hand was cupped around his chin in a sophisticated, and thoughtful manner. Ruki’s eyes were trained on your figure as he observed you working on your homework. Ruki had made it a point that he wished to be near you whenever you worked on any assignment. He stated that he would ‘discipline your work habits’ and it would also, ‘give you less of a chance to escape.’ His actions were excess and unneeded, really. You knew you wouldn’t be able escape from him even if you wanted to. “Oi, look at me.” He suddenly commands, snapping you out of your thoughts. “You’ve been well behaved lately so let’s go for some tea once you are finished,” he voiced calmly. That was odd, he was usually never this nice. You nod your head slowly and you see a small smile break onto his face.  

“I’m your master, Livestock. Listen to nobody but me.”

 Kou: You were extremely surprised when Kou, an idol for God’s sake, had approached you seemingly out of nowhere. You were baffled at his attempts at conversation and friendship, even more so when he had asked you to be his girlfriend. You were hesitant at first, but you firmly denied him. Really, you barely knew the guy. Unfortunately for you, when you had said no, he went ballistic.

“I gave you my both my attention and affection, so is it not natural that you would do the same?! You’re just a human, so who do you think you are?” Kou was beyond furious. His normally peppy, and upbeat attitude had contorted into one of rage, and contempt. Kou’s hands balled into tight fists, and his mouth bent downwards into a frown. He gritted his teeth together as he roughly seized your shoulders, pulling you against him. Ignoring your squeaks of pain, he harshly pulled down the collar of your shirt. His fangs are etched into your neck drinking greedy gulps before you can register anything.

“Don’t resist me, it’s annoying. You’re mine, and I won’t give you to anyone.

 Yuma: Lately, Yuma had been pestering you with frequent requests to help him with his garden. You knew refusing his requests would have just resulted in a violent outcome, so you just went on with his whims anyways. However, it felt unusual to see him take such tender and dedicated care of his plants. His rough, and demanding attitude gave you the impression that he took little care of his belongings. “Oi, stop spacing out and help me harvest these tomatoes, Sow.” Yuma’s voice snaps you out of your daydream. Yuma hands you a brown basket, gesturing towards the multitude of tomato plants. “Well,” he motioned to the basket, “get to it!” You laughed inwardly at his seriousness. It was quite cute on how he genuinely loved his garden. Yuma could be quite overbearing at times, but it was occasionally pleasant to work alongside him.

“What are you smiling for, Sow? Get to work!”

 Azusa: “Hey… does it feel good?” Azusa drawled out. A light blush tinted his cheeks as he traced the blade of his knife across your arm. His eyes were half lidded with pleasure as he gazed intently at the blood trickling out of your wound. “Are you… enjoying it?” He breathed out, lowering his face down onto your arm. His tongue traced across the knife wound. “You taste… so sweet…” His words caused a chill to run up your back. You couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable, and alarmed at his actions. Both the situation and the way he had executed it unnerved you. The both of you had been working on a meal in the home economics room when he had abruptly grabbed hold of your arm, and started cutting it with a knife. Azusa was usually such a sweet person, so it shocked you that he was acting like this. Then again, you had always seen Azusa staring a little too intently at the cutlery. Azusa continued to lick your blood, the knife still pressed against your skin. When he looked up, a satisfied grin could be seen on his face.

“Hey… will you hurt me… as well?”

[romancevsreality-blog]

vanderpump rules, season six, episode two: three cheers for jax’s taco bell sweater!

I was fully prepared to write a whole long opener for this but then as soon as I did my computer was like “lololol suck it” and restarted. I had literally written one word and now I am enraged so let’s just get it poppin, daddy.

We open back at Scheana’s birthday party, and Schwartz is like, “My instinct is to protect Jax,” and Sandoval is like, “I gave him a heads up.” These boys are so loyal to Jax and Jax will shit all over their parties as soon as he can if it helps his bottom line. Jax is the absolute worst and these boys are simultaneously the worst (less Tom Sandoval than Schwartz) for protecting him1.

Meanwhile, Kristen is butting her head in where it doesn’t belong (#ClassicKristen) and trying to get Faith to talk to talk to her. Jax also doesn’t understand why he’s being “attacked” for “somehthing he didn’t do.” Faith says she has proof that she’s telling the truth and that Jax made all of these false promises to her about leaving Brittany and being with her.

Lisa reminds us that most of the stories we hear about Jax turn out to be true. For some reason, Jax doesn’t understand why Brittany is so quick to believe someone else’s story. Kristen’s pissed because Brittany’s easily the best thing that’s happened to - really, to any of the people in that group because Brittany at least seems to have a soul and Jax left his in a basement in Miami in 1879. He’s not allowed home, at least for now.

Scheana goes to have a shot with The Toms, DJ James Kennedy, J.D., and Jax Taylor, who literally looks like the bloated corpse of Hugh Hefner in his velvet suitjacket. Sandoval is vehemently defending Jax, saying there’s no proof that Jax did or did not sleep with Faith and it’s not fair to say he did. Jax is like, “I’m not going to chase Brittany down the street”, and Scheana tells him no, that’s a good idea.

I mean, as someone who has been chased after by a love interest both romantically and maliciously, I... just don’t do it? Scheana says that if she and the girls find out this rumor is true, they’re going to go Lorena Bobbitt on Jax.2

James revealed that Faith missed her period, and Jax is pissed. Those kind of lies ruin people’s lives but also, so does behaving as if your actions have zero consequences, JAX.

The next day, we’re at Villa Rosa, where Lisa Vanderpump’s car broker has arrived. I want to be the kind of rich where my car broker just pops in for tea like it ain’t no thang. Ken’s treated Lisa to a Rolls Royce that she’s apparently hinted to to Ken for a while then. Stassi rolls up like, “I literally don’t have air conditioning in my apartment and here you are getting a Rolls Royce on a Tuesday.” I agree with Stassi and now that she’s my Worst Enemy I hate myself for it3.

Stassi’s come over to meet with Lisa because she’s interested in getting into event planning as a career. She’s come to Lisa for advice because Lisa seems to know what she’s doing, and she needs a reason to get back to Sexy Unique Restaurant that isn’t working there. Lisa likes the fact that Stassi has a je ne sais quoi and gives her a chance to decorate and plan for Guillermo’s party. I know we talked about how Patrick and Stassi are back together, but even Lisa knows it’s not a good idea for them to be back together. Lisa’s like, “Why wouldn’t you get back with Jax?”

Y’all know I am pro-Jax and Stassi.

Lisa asks what it is about Jax that Brittany and Stassi can’t stay away from, and Stassi reminds us that he’s charismatic and manipulative and is such a people pleaser that he’ll say exactly what you want to hear, regardless of the truth. I really think that’s Jax’s inherent problem - he’s such a people pleaser while simultaneously being a narcissist. He wants everyone to like him so much he’ll say anything to get them on his side or get their attention - I mean, Stassi and Lisa are talking about him and he’s not even there - but when all of his lies come to a head it’s everyone else’s fault and not his. We get a great montage of Lisa pointing out that Stassi and Brittany were treated the exact same way by Jax. Stassi sadly thinks that Brittany’s better to Jax than she was, and Lisa reminds her that Stassi loved Jax just as much as Brittany does and regardless of that - it doesn’t make the way Jax treats them alright. We’re allowed to be just as mad for Stassi as we are for Brittany.

I’m sad they kind of blew past this, because I’ve always thought that was interesting. Stassi was the villain in the first season because she was the Woman Scorned and she wasn’t the nicest in general so it was okay for Jax to treat her like shit, especially after the way she treated Laura-Leigh. I think Stassi’s internalized a lot of that, and it’s now manifesting itself in her relationship with Patrick. She allows him to treat her like shit over and over again because everyone around her made it seem like that was okay before, so why wouldn’t it be okay now?

Stassi makes me sad. I don’t think she intends to do harm, I really don’t. I just think she’s naive, book-smart, and desperate to come across a way that she really isn’t.

Katie’s picking up a bunch of Miller Lite cans around her apartment and every time I see that spray-painted BUBBA canvas I want to scream. Everything about Katie feels like a Pinterest fail, including her personality4. Brittany’s knocking on the door and comes in with no makeup so you know she’s sad and mad. Brittany’s embarrassed because realistically - why did Jax do this with one of their friends, and who else has he done it with that she doesn’t know about? It’s sad because it seems like that’s the part she’s truly angry about - he cheated with someone she knows - and not the fact that Jax cheated in general5. She had a feeling he’s cheated, even found someone else’s fake eyelashes on the counter6. Everyone’s truly baffled and this proves that if Jax will cheat on Brittany of all people, he’ll cheat on anyone.

As if we didn’t know that already. Jax would cheat on a broom with a dustpan if that’s where his sexual predelictions lied. Brittany’s bought a ticket to Vegas, she’s gonna hang out with her friend from childhood, and she’s gonna party like a single girl with a reality show does in Vegas (aka: for free). Snaps to you, Brittany. Let the fake boobs breathe and get some creepy dudes to buy you overpriced drinks in a loud nightclub with dancers with eyes so dead and hair so long you’re genuinely concerned for their well being and then binge the next morning on a $50 unlimited buffet that never seems to end. I really love Vegas.

Oh, shit. Jax arrives at Katie’s7. Awkward. Brittany can’t even look at him and Jax is like, “why are you believing this?” She asks to see his phone, and clearly he’s cleared out his texts - WE’VE SEEN HIM DO THIS BEFORE - and it doesn’t prove anything. Jax remains defiant that He Has Done More For Brittany Than She Has For Him as always, and she’s done. She says she hates him in a way that seems so real and genuine I can’t handle it. If it’s fake, someone give Brittany a god damn Emmy.

We’re at PUMP, where Raquel and James have come to meet with Lisa. Racquel’s wearing the shortest of shorts and Lisa of course points them out first thing. Raquel’s gotten some new colored contacts that make her frighteningly catlike8 and she’s interested in working at Vanderpump Dogs. Doesn’t she know cats and dogs are the major enemy of the animal kingdom?! Lisa’s like, “so what do you do?” and because Raquel is a college student, she doesn’t know how to answer any questions other than, “How are you?” and “What are you studying?” The first time anyone asked me what I ‘did’ I was baffled by the entire notion of people not being in college.

Raquel is apparently a model and also is studying Kinesiology, something Lisa is a little impressed by. Raquel’s probably better off volunteering and dressing appropriately at Vanderpump Pups9 than actually working there. There’s more shit picking-up than shit stirring there.

Oh, and James is there to beg for his job back. Lisa was so proud until that moment because she thought James was there for Raquel but GUESS NOT. James is given a trial on Tuesday, which is more than he deserves, tbh. But again, these people have to be working in order for this show to remain about its central source: Lisa Vanderpump Promoting Her Restaurants.

It’s Ariana’s brother Jeremy’s birthday, and I cannot be bothered to care. We see Peter for the first time this season and he’s with Tom Schwartz who pulls into first place for My #1 Most Hated in this episode by whinging about how he misses Katie. I don’t miss her. It’s the second birthday in 12 hours that Katie wasn’t invited to and isn’t that TELLING? Tom’s pretty wasted and it’s not a good look on him at all. Jeremy’s moved into Tom and Ariana’s apartment again and this time, it hasn’t killed their sex life because their sex life was already dead to begin with.

James is shocked that Faith isn’t coming, because it’s not like anyone there is pissed off at her. Everyone’s in pretty much agreement: Faith fucked up, but it takes two to tango, Jax.

Brittany heads back over to her apartment with Jax and starts packing her things. Holy shit, their apartment has a set of stairs up into their bedroom. I would like that in my life, please. Brittany’s rearing and ready to go for Round 2, asking Jax if he fucked in their bed. And then, holy shit:

Jax admits to having sex with Faith.

Oh my god.

Oh my god!!!!

Y’all, I’m not even shocked he did it.

I’m genuinely shocked that he didn’t do the Jax Special: deny it, gaslight the shit out of Faith and Brittany, drag it out for half of the season, and then spend the other half begging for forgiveness to get it in the season finale.

I mean, we all know what Jax is doing at this point. He so badly wants out of this relationship but he refuses to break up with Brittany because he knows that he’ll be the bad guy who broke the sweet girl’s heart, so he continues over and over to fuck up in hopes that she’ll break down and dump him. He always fucks up and says “I understand if you want to break up with me.” Every time. EVERY TIME!!!! He constantly talks about her looks, her work ethic, her desperation in his talking heads. He embarasses himself and her in front of her family and in front of their friends. And now: he cheats on her, which is his last resort. But she refuses to give up because she knows what he has with him is more than without him, and he doesn’t want to deal with the social ostracization that would come with him breaking up with her at this point.

Jax cheated when Brittany and him were having a hard time, and even though that’s not what you should do, Jax did it anyway because he’s a god damn monster. He doesn’t have a good excuse, and then you realize that the sweater he was wearing over the polo is a god damn TACO BELL SWEATSHIRT AND I CAM CRYING LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The editors of this show are my favorite people.

Lisa is being honored at Long Beach Pride, and the Toms and Ariana are going to support Lisa because they have to make sure that Lisa knows they support her. Basically, they’re going to kiss ass. They’re all still baffled by the notion of Jax cheating on Brittany, and James is like, “Faith told me they didn’t use a condom and she missed her period.” That’s when Tom Sandoval does a complete 180 and flips - JAX IS LITERALLY 1000 YEARS OLD. Jax has literally used every single type of birth control ever created on the planet and he does not understand the basic idea of using a FREAKING condom.

There are far many more black people at Jeremy’s birthday than I ever expected and I honestly want a webseries about the black people of Vanderpump Rules now more than ever.

James and Kristen apparently talked last night, and Schwartz is both wasted and being a tattletale. He goes to talk to Jax about how everyone is gossiping about him and Tom Schwartz starts crying. He’s wasted, and he’s realizing that he has no drive. He’s under new pressures - marriage, a future family, and he’s feeling it for real. Tom Sandoval gets my award for Favorite Person in this episode when he tells Schwartz that he is lucky and blessed to have him as a friend and that he’s excited to open this bar with him.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.10

Brittany’s sobbing and on the phone with her mom. She tells her that he admitted to cheating and her mom just sounds like she’s trying to feel bad for her. Jax watches Brittany get into her Uber to the airport fromt the balcony in his Taco Bell sweatshirt and it’s so dramatic but untintenitonally hilarious because of that sweatshirt.

We’re at Long Beach Gay Pride, and Lisa is wearing a white jumpsuit with a cape, so she’s beeng oing through my pinterest board, which is 90% jumpsuits with capes. Lisa is Grand Marshall of their parade, and she’s emotional. Tom and Ariana flag Lisa down and she stops and is like, “Where’s Schwartz?”

He’s pooping. The least surprising thing ever.

Tom Sandoval has a glorious glitter highlight and Schwartz starts straight in with defending Jax and feeling bad that Jax is at home crying to himself on the couch alone. Lisa shuts that shit right down and tells him he’s going to look like a fool if he wants to be on Jax’s side. They’re happy he admitted to it, and Lisa is just hopeful Brittany dumps him 5ever.

One of the rare things in life I didn’t realize I needed was Lisa Vanderpump going to a leather tent. Tom Sandoval decides to get flogged by Ariana to hopefully get some of their issues out via BDSM. Every conversation has devolved back to Jax and Brittany - Lisa asks where Brittany is now, and Tom Schwartz is certain they’re going to get back together because Jax just can’t help himself. Ariana calls bullshit on that and so do I, especially when Schwartz tries to claim it’s in his DNA to be a manwhore.

Cheating is prevalent in Jamaican culture and the burden is always placed on the woman, it’s never then man’s choice to cheat. They’ll justify it with the bible and with science and whatever logic they need to but the truth is, it’s just not right. If you really can’t avoid your carnal urges don’t pull other people into it.

Tom and Tom both tell Lisa they love her and they’re just passionate and enthusiastic about what’s to happen with TomTom, and maybe that comes across as little too much at times. Lisa admits what’s true - she doesn’t need the for their expertise, just for their vibes and general essence. She wants them to help curate a cocktail menu and create an ambiance but leave the design to her.

How many restaurants has Lisa Vanderpump opened?

How many restaurants have Schwartz & Sandoval opened?

I rest my case.

Kristen has arrived at Stassi’s apartment and immediately starts shopping Stassi’s closet, something I do whenever I arrive at a new place after asking if you have any La Croix. No, I don’t want a glass of water11. Stassi’s getting ready for dinner with Patrick and she’s nervous. She’s obsessively putting her hair back because he like it when her hair is pushed back. This is already making me so sad. Kristen is basically staring at Stassi the way Jennifer Jason Leigh looked at Bridget Fonda in Single White Female.

Stassi talks about how she didn’t want to be judged for going back to Patrick after they broke up so she didn’t tell anyone, but she’s thrilled to be back with him. Considering we already know that he broke up with her on their anniversary, this is all so depressing. Especially when Kristen’s like “I’m already planning Stassi and Patrick’s wedding!!!”

Patrick comes over and...

Wait, what?

That’s what Patrick looks like?

No. No. NO! Nonononono.

You’re telling me Stassi left this show for a greasy red-faced coke bloated guy who chose man bun in 2017?!?!?!?!?!@?!?!?!

I AM HAVING A MELTDOWN.

I want to die. Stassi likes him becuase he’s straight out of Game of Thrones and I am gagging. No.

Scheana and Ariana are at work, and Brittany’s returned from her vacation with my favorite revenge look - refreshed and glowing.

Amanda’s Favorite Revenge Looks:

Hydrated, refreshed, good-night-of-sleep, lit from within “I’m not affected at all” 

Full glam, tits out for the girls, eyelashes, painted for the gods realess - this is saved for major events

“Oh, I just happen to look this good on a day when I just happen to run into you at this annual party we’ve attended before together”

Brittany had a great time in Vegas, but she’s still going through it emotionally. Scheana tries to be like “I totally know, I was just there,” BIIIIIITCH you were dating Rob five seconds after Shay moved out. Brittany was grossed out by everyone in Vegas despite going there to party like a single girl and like Brittany... did you forget you’re in a relationship with Jax Taylor? Like, Vegas guys are gross, but he’s a decaying specimen dripping venom and STD sludge on everything he touches. She just wants to be alone for a bit and she’s gonna go to work and focus. Because Brittany is smart.

Stassi dressed for Patrick that night, and he’s happy. She asks if he she looks like a skank and he’s like, “Definitely.” Patrick starts immediately questioning Stassi’s ability to be an event planner becuase she’s never done it and knows nothing about it but somehow managed to convince Lisa that she could. When she mentions that his podcast makes her feel insecure about her podcast12, and he condescends to her by using bigger words than she knows like “juggernaut”. Patrick’s going to Amsterdamn without Stassi and he’s like, “Hey, I was without you for eight months, six days ain’t shit.” He doesn’t really let her speak, he just kind of talks AT her - “What lesson did we learn? The lesson is don’t talk when you’re apart and when you get back together, don’t talk about what happened when you were apart.” Stassi want so badly for this to work this time - if you get back together after dating for three years and breaking up for almost a year, it’s embarrassing if it doesn’t work out in the end. Patrick’s freaked out by all of this. She fully says that if Patrick tried to break up with her that she’d be like, “Nope, not happening.” He thinks people don’t realize how crazy she is, and he has no idea.

Jax shows up to work not in uniform - he’s wearing a navy shirt - and Ariana and Tom bought a whip. Of course Tom is turned on by Ariana with a whip, Tom just seems like the type to be turned on when Ariana takes a breath and I love that about him. Jax is probably going to see if he can trade with someone so things aren’t awkward with Brittany, who conveniently walks up and asks for a vodka soda at that moment. A drink that takes five seconds to make magically takes five awkward minutes because Tom Sandoval is the only bartender in America that doesn’t have lemon slices.

Jax is like, “I should go talk to her,” and Sandoval reminds her that’s a terrible idea. Lisa goes to talk to Brittany and tells her that she’s young and doesn’t need to put up with this shit. Tom tells Jax that he probably needs space from their apartment and he needs to get some help. Scheana and Ariana go to help Brittany, and Jax rants about how if anyone not involved - Scheana, Kristen, Ariana - tries to come at him, he’s going to lose it. Tom Sandoval reminds him that he’s the one who put himself in this situation and now he has to deal with it all. Even Sandoval is pissed. Jax is in denial - he’s like, “I’ll go to a hotel, but I don’t think that’s what she wants,” and Sandoval reassured him that yes, Brittany wants to be alone right now. She does not wantt o be around you. But oh, Brittany slept with Jax earlier that day.

Brittany, gurl. Come on.

I get that it’s hard to move on past him but you don’t have to fuck the dude.

Next Week: Tom brings Lisa a gift, Stassi is throwing a “Fuck Jax” party, and Jax flips out. OH, HELLO, LALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

My favorite part of this episode is drunk Tom Schwartz admitting he has Stockholm Syndrome and Ariana and Tom just talking over him.

I’m so proud of the people on this show for their ability to keep storylines under wraps. I was convinced from social media this season was ging to be boring and everyone getting along and it is so fire.

I’m loving the small doses of Katie and Kristen. It’s the perfect amount, espeically after last season being 100% Katie, 100% of the time.

Another Lala-free episode, what ever will I do?

Seriously, the reason why #MeToo is happening is because men are now realizing that even by sitting back and saying nothing they’re complicit in sexual harassment. “Protecting” your friend makes you culpable. Stop asking women to make men better. Men should be doing that themselves and holding each other accountable. ↩︎

Just here to remind you that Lorena Bobbitt was a woman who was abused and raped in her marriage in a time when no one did shit about women being abused and raped in their marriage and she should have sparked a national discussion about spousal rape. Instead, we get her name tossed around willy-nilly as a form of a crude punchline. What Lorena Bobbitt did was never about cutting off a dick, but the story turned into that. ↩︎

I also wish I was the kind of person who was impressed by cars. Like, I can see that it’s a gorgeously crafted piece of machinery but... eh? I much prefer Lisa’s house porn. ↩︎

Holy SHIT she even has the peephole frame from Friends on her door… but THE PEEP HOLE IS TO THE RIGHT OF THE FRAME. I fucking hate you, Katie. Oh my god. ↩︎

I think she realizes what she gets out of being in a relationship with this guy, unfortunately. I mean, she has @brittany on Instagram. I can’t imagine what she paid for that handle, and she certainly only got it because of her notoriety from being on this show. I would love for @amanda on insta, but I have to settle for @lochnessmanda (shameless plug, follow me!). As we (I mean y’all, not me) have seen from the Kentucky spin-off, her family so wants her to get married to this dude they’ll put up with anything except homosexuality. ↩︎

Fake eyelashes are expensive, if I’m sleeping with a guy with a girlfriend I’m definitely not leaving THOSE behind. Slip those in the sunglasses compartment of your purse!!!! I really should write an article about “nasty beauty hacks” like “no hair-tie and you’re sleeping at a guy’s house? Use your underwear!” I’m disgusting. Didn’t I spend a paragraph talking about how not trashy I am last week? Pfft. ↩︎

Jax is everything I hate about men’s fashion - the chunky sweaters, the collars under crew-neck sweaters, ugh. It’s all awful. He looks terrible in clothes, how did he have a modeling career. ↩︎

Like Michael Jackson in the Thriller music video. ↩︎

Vanderpups is such a lost opportunity here. ↩︎

As a person who is very insecure about the kind of friend she is, it’s nice to see people who are genuinely good friends to others. I’m very lucky to have the friends I have in my life and I hope I regularly remind them of how important they are to me. And now I’m really crying. ↩︎

Honestly, though, growing up in Metro Detroit, this was not a strange question to be asked. I honestly taste Tangerine La Croix when I hang out with my friend Celia’s mom. I would go over there to hang out with Celia, and stay for the La Croix. ↩︎

Speaking of podcasts... ↩︎

[kendrixtermina]

Hm. I didn’t have any close INFJ friends so I have no practical experience with the actual dynamic/ this will be a mostly theoretical speculative reply. 

But I’d say that similar functions/preferences probably make for some easier communications? 

This is slightly less extreme now that I hit my 20s and can occasionally use my lower function block but I feel like I have this one outward communication channel that is very intuition-based and I’d not be averse to going full rambly or romantic through that, but when ppl don’t really respond to that conceptual/poetic channel I often couldn’t come up with other things to talk about after rattling off recent events. 

This is probably way less hard with the ENTPs since they can extrovert just fine, but it helps immensely when you can understand how they probably ‘mean’ things even when they say it in a manner that could easily piss off ppl. They’re often making a legit point even if they don’t phrase it the best way, and they want a reply that aknowledges/responds the point; A Fi-style reply might not accomplish much. So having any measure of Ti (even tertiary) and genuine interest in concepts probably helps. 

To put it briefly and crunchyly there’s a differece between how someone looks with the ‘interference/static’ of communication mishaps in the way, and how they come off when you understand what the behavior “means”

Due to a mix of your upbringing and having at least some similar functions and certain natural INFJ talents you probably have better insight into the latter.

I do think your parents might play a role I get along pretty well with my relatives, at least better than with the average person, because our mom is an ENFP with various other xNFPs in her family so everyone is used to how Ne users talk, even the one ISFP. It helps that they’re all sorta nerdy creative types regardless of mbti and wildly different temperaments. 

IxFJs are kinda hit n miss because of the general touchyness of the lower functions - there’s some where the conversation and instantly flows and others where there’s little commonality or even adverse reactions particularly when you get the more overbearing sorts of dysfunctional Fe users, but if there are common interests and the other person puts you at ease rather than trying to come off dominating or judgy it can certainly be an advantage. 

Then there’s this socionics dichotomy of “merry”(Fe/Ti) vs “serious” (Te/Fi) which among other things characterizes the latter bunch as approaching relationships through ‘rules’, ‘rituals’ or ‘stages’ whereas the former would rather keep track of the current ‘vibe’ of the conversation and decide based on that 

This seems like it might be an example of this, ie, normally it takes X lenght of time but if we click it might go faster. 

The reason that it kinda takes long sometimes is that since we don’t rly have much Fi going on it takes longer to be ‘sure’/ generate a definite subjective ‘me likey’/’no thanks’ type of response (”Which course of action should we take?” xNTP: “Well, they both have the following advantages, disadvantages implications and neutral characteristics.” “Yes but which one do you want?” xNTP: “In this case none is more reasonable than the other, it comes down to subjective choice.” “Ok but what do you choose” xNTP: “uh.... I gotta think about this some more” Meanwhile most F types will at least know which options they dont like with a marked difference in negotiability between FJs and FPs), and even once it is there the rational faculties are gonna want to double check that it is warranted.  ie, I don’t want to tell anyone ‘I love you’ until I’m sure that I can say so in good conscience. It just so happens that apparently that takes a bit longer than average. But if I was relatively sure early on there’d be no reason not to say it. Though poking Fe in a non-agressive way might probably help since that’s where any type with Fe on their stack would get most of their subjective preference judgements from, at least the ones that ‘convince’ them. 

Whenever I read a post about how slow *ntps are to accept you as a dear friend or loved one, I squint at the post and wonder.... Why is my experience of these guys the opposite? Am I just really used to them cos of my intp dad and entp great grandpa growing up, or do they REALLY like infjs?

Also, why do my *ntps not instantly try to fix my problems when I talk about them? They just sit there and listen, giving emotional support I guess, kind of awkwardly. Even when I say I want them to fix it??? Do I really trigger their Fe THAT MUCH?

[givemesomeluh]

Stretchmarks ~Nate Maloley

~Stretch-marks~

This was a bad idea. A very, very bad idea. One that had my insecurities flaring, and my feet itching to go back home. I bite down on my bottom lip, trying to keep the anxiety from rising from a full on attack. I mean looking around at all these half naked perfect bodies has me feeling an ugly type of way. Nate didn’t tell me it was a pool party. All the flashing skin had me feeling a bit uncomfortable, and I was thinking up a way to secretly escape when I heard my name being called.

“Scarlet you’re here!” I hear Nates unmistakable low body melting voice.

I turn slowly to see him speed walking towards me before picking me up in a bear hug.

“Hi” I squeak when he sets me back down though a small giggle escapes from My lips.

“I’m so excited you’re going to perform with me tonight!” He cheers showing off those beautiful dimples of his.

I was about to answer him when his new fuckbuddy… girlfriend? Well whatever she was came up sliding her arm around his waist eyeing me up and down. She was in an all black thin string black bikini. It was ana, the model girl. I felt my jaw clench as Nate looked at me to her then back to me taking in the sudden tension.

“Oh scar, you’re here, dressed like that?” She asks snidely eyeing my t-shirt dress and thigh high boots.

I guess it was a little covered compared to what she was wearing, but I wasn’t exactly comfortable showing as much skin, skin that wasn’t flawless.

“Yeah I didn’t get the memo” I state glancing at Nate who looks slightly confused.

“It wasn’t supposed to be a pool party but that’s just how people showed up, I’m sure ana here has an extra swimsuit for you.” He states cheerfully.

Ana smirks at this before turning to look at me eyeing me up and down.

“I don’t know if we’ll fit in the same swimsuit but I can try.” She says.

I roll my eyes before following after her into the house, I see little bubba come trotting up, he walks right past Ana to come cuddle me. She glares as if the dog ignoring her was a big deal.

“Hi bubba! Is daddy treating you well?” I ask him softly.

He barks happily wagging his tail.

“Good, I’ve got to go put on a skimpy swimsuit, wish me luck!” I whisper kissing his forehead as he barks again before hurrying after Ana whose glaring at me.

“So you’re the one that got him the dog?” She asks arching an eyebrow.

“No, I’m the one who went and got a dog with him.” I say trying not to smirk.

She nods before leading me into the guest room, though it looks to be somewhat used by her.

“Here.” She states throwing two scraps of fabric at me.

“Um do you maybe have a one piece that I can borrow instead?” I ask hoping not to sound pathetic.

“Sure.” She snorts throwing a white scrap at me.

I bite my lip nodding a thank you before leaving to go into Nates room to change.

Once in there I quickly slip on the swimsuit before eyeing myself in the mirror. This was bad. I couldn’t just strut out in this, side my boobs looked nice and my stomach didn’t look as bloated as it had but it was so high on my hips and so far up my ass it was practically a thong in the back. It was low in the back showing off the curve of it. I would think I looked good if it wasn’t for the hideous stretch marks all over my bottom and thighs. Feeling self conscious I quickly grab one of Nates button down jersey shirts and pull it on so it covers my back and bottom. Sighing I look away from the mirror and hurry outside as I can see the people here are gathering around the makeshift stage.

“Come here baby girl.” Nate calls through his microphone as he must’ve introduced me already.

The crowd parts for me as I make my way into the stage, Nates dimpled smile is bright on display he pulls me closer as one of his new songs come on, we dance together before moving apart while he goes and woos the crowd. And then it’s my turn i sing my song but as I do this Nate gets off the stage to go appease Ana as she looks pissed.

I can feel my own frustration as he’s the one who invited me out to come up on a show with him. Ana shoots me a triumphant look before eyeing me up and down and then checking herself out as if to say she was better.

That’s when I hear the crowd chant for me to perform one of my cover songs, I smirk as I know which one I’ll do,I feel like it fits the situation going on. I turn to the dj asking if he knows what I want, and when the beginning riff starts I can’t help but smirk.

“I know you want this for life, staring at all my eyes, but I can’t be your wife I just want you for one night.”

After I’ve sing the beginning I can tell that I have everyone’s attention, especially Nates.

I get into the song, moving my hips slowly sometimes glancing at Nate who stares at me with a stoic expression. Ana just looks livid while i sing to the crowd and move my hips.

“Hope she was worth it, hope you regret it I know that she can never make you feel how I did.” I state before looking at the rest of the crowd and when Ana scoffs I can’t help but roll my eyes.

She was only with Nate because she got between us before I could tell him, she knew how I felt. She knew how him and I were in high school, but she still did it anyways.

Wanting to get out of here but also wanting to show Nate what he was missing I move his shirt back showing off my ass and rolling my hips to the beat before singing the next line while looking directly at him.

“Throwing shots like i won’t put you in your place, but do you not remember me sittin on your face? Claim you need me here but you don’t really need me here.” I sing.

He didn’t he had been keeping me around for what felt like no reason but trying to prove we could be great friends even after all the things we’d gone through together. But I don’t really think we could.

So when the song ended I was already to go home, when Ana had to speak loudly laughing with some of her model friends.

“Gosh it was so cute until she tried to show off her scarred up ass, ugh I’d be so embarrassed if I had stretch marks like that.” She laughs overly loud like.

When I look at Nate he doesn’t do anything to reprimand her or even defend me, nailing the last head into the coffin of what’s left of our friendship.

I flee from the party as everyone around her is laughing at me, and I can’t be around him anymore. So I’m gone.

~ ~ ~

It’s been about 5 hours since I was humiliated at Nates pool party. I’ve turned off my phone and am just sitting watching tv, with a big box of boneless wings from buffaloes wild wings. When my door bell starts going off. At first I think that maybe it’s just some random person and that they’ll go away. But they ring it continuously for the next ten minutes and will probably continue until I answer the door. Feeling annoyed I rush to it swinging the door open, a little surprised to see Nate standing there.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask genuinely shocked.

I mean when you could care less that your supposed ride or die is getting bullied by your girlfriend you’d think they wouldn’t show up at your house looking so worried.

“Scar I’m sorry I was still in shock about the song you covered it brought back memories, but baby why did you leave?” He asks quickly.

“What?” I ask still trying to go over what he said in my head.

Nate smirks pushing me into my apartment and closing the door behind us.

“That song you covered, doesn’t it remind you of us in high school?” He asks arching an eyebrow.

“God Nate really?” I groan feeling flustered. The real reason i had even covered the song was because it reminded me of the good old days between the two of us.

“Yeah scar, really because when you said ‘don’t I remember when you sat on my face’ and fuck baby girl do I.” He states while his eyes started to swirl as he bites down on his lower lip.

The image that Nate had caused to pop up in my brain was causing me to feel hot and flushed, I stepped away from him fanning my face.

{flashback}

We had been wrestling while listening to the radio and some song came on about big butts, we started dancing and I was twerking when all of a sudden Nate groaned while pushing a hand through his hair.

“What’s going on Nate?” I asked feeling worried.

“Baby, when you show off your cute little ass like that it just makes me want to.” He trails off a tortured look is in his eyes.

“It makes you want to what? Also my ass is in no way small.” I state frowning while leaning into him.

He’d relaxed laying against his bed while my forearms rested against his chest and I leaned over him, my hair a curtain around our faces.

“Trust me I know that.” He laughs his hand coming up and caressing my cheek.

I smile leaning into his hand, while my fingers trace his chest tattoo. He smiles up at me while biting down on his lower lip.

“Are you ever going to finish your sentence?” I ask looking down at my fingers, as the way he’s looking at me had my heart fluttering and squeezing my legs together to calm down the throb their.

“Whenever I watch you sway your hips, or or grind against the air while pushing your hands through your hair while looking at me with bed room eyes. Baby, it just makes me want you to sit that thick ass on my face.” He whispers.

I’m blushing now, as the hand that cradled my face moves to my chin to lift it up so that I’m looking into his eyes.

He isn’t smiling but his eyes are soft as he looks at me. Slowly he moves so that are lips are just a breath away his slowly placed his lips against mine. His lips take by bottom lip between them biting on it softly pulling it back with him before he lets it go.

He looks at me with one eyebrow raised as if challenging me, before I move to straddling him and attacking his lips with my own. He smirks into the kiss before invading my mouth with his tongue, stroking and drawing me even closer to him. His hands rub up and down my back before moving lower to gripping my ass. I moan then tangling my fingers into his hair.

“Nate we really shouldn’t..” I start to say but trail off when he starts to kiss down my jaw then starts nibbling on my neck.

I lean my head back while holding onto his biceps, I can feel him grin against my neck, while one of his hands moves up the back of my neck supporting me, while the other rubs against my thigh.

“What shouldn’t we do?” He asks softly his lips moving against my neck.

“We shouldn’t, mhmm” I moan grabbing his face and kissing him hard while pushing my ass down on him.

“Fuck it. If you really want me to sit on your face prove it.” I sigh smirking.

{end of flashback}

“It doesn’t matter what um, what, whatever memories we might’ve had or that song might’ve brought up.” I state trying to sound firm over the fact that it shouldn’t stir feelings.

“So you’re telling me you felt nothing when you sang that song. Or when you looked at me when you sang that part of your cover? Are you telling you feel absolutely nothing for me? You have no feelings that you buried deep down and just seem to be popping up after going through life without each other for 3 years?” Nate asks looking incredulous.

“What does it matter if I still feel the way I felt about you in high school to now? Maybe feeling even more now than back then?! Who cares that I buried it deep inside it’s suppose to die. Especially now that you’re clearly not single, or having lingering feelings.” I yell back clenching my fists tightly.

Nate moves towards me, but I shake my head moving away from him but he follows after me. I glare at him feeling hot and needing to cool down but he still follows me into my room closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

“I really don’t understand what you’re still doing here. Leave.” I growl before turning away from him.

I take my hair out of the high ponytail tail I have it in, while moving to grab a baggy t-shirt and band boxer underwear. Needing to get out of this barely their swimsuit. I slip out of the baseball tee and start to shimmy out of the tight one piece when I hear a hiss. Looking over my shoulder I see Nate biting on his knuckles while watching me.

“Get the fuck out.” I growl.

Before moving and pulling on the baggy t-shirt before sliding off the rest of the swimsuit and pulling on my underwear. But Nate just continues to look at me not making any indication he’s going to move.

“Please Nate just go.” I sigh feeling tired as well as sad as the anger has fled my body.

“I’m not going to go until you understand.” He states crossing his arms.

“Understand what?” I ask looking at him.

“Understand that you are beautiful not just on the inside but on the outside and that you’re stretch marks are fucking sexy.” He states.

“And how are you going to make me understand that exactly?” I ask rubbing my arms while trying to physically curl into myself.

“No don’t you dare do that, you are beautiful.” He states moving to me.

I look up at him with tears trailing down my cheeks as well as filling my eyes. He pulls me to him before kissing my cheeks gently.

“Baby girl.” He says lowly looking in my eyes with something I haven’t seen in years. Passion, yearning, lust and something too strong for me to truly decipher.

I move to speak, but his fingers have crept up and are massaging my skull, before he pulls me close and lightly brushes his lips against mine. He moves back a little to look at me before brushing his lips against mine again. My hands tighten against his arms but I still refuse to recuperate. His eyes seem to smolder as he quirks an eyebrow before moving his lips against mine and nibbling on my bottom lip. I still refuse so he sighs, before full on kissing me, his tongue traces my lips, as if he’s seeking for entrance, which I grant him. Causing us both to let out a little moan as he tastes just as good as I remember, if not better. I wrap my arms around his neck and he grips my waist tighter.

He moves so that my back is pressed up against the wall as I kiss him back harder. His hands go down gripping my butt, I wrap my legs around his waist. He moves so that he lays me down on the bed my legs are on either side of his legs as I look up at him. He’s biting down on his bottom lip.

“Baby you look so good with you’re legs open to me and you’re hair all splayed out on the pillow. But you’re going to look even better on all fours.” He smirks.

“All fours?” I ask raising an eyebrow though I really don’t have a problem with that.

“Because I promised to show you how perfect and sexy your stretch marks are.” He states winking

A part 2 will be coming soon I promise lovelies for now I hope you enjoyed it’s been awhile 😉😘💕