#got her down to fluids only once every 4 days

[asnowfern]

The Connoisseurs - A Lover’s Interlude

Part 4 of The Connoisseurs series for @nestaarcheronweek and it’s a short fic this time round.

This was originally meant for Day 4 : Lover but life got in the way so Day 6 : Birthday it is! Because every girl deserves diamonds for her birthday right?

WC: 1k, T for SFW

Read on AO3

Part 3 of the Connoisseurs

The glass doors slide close behind her.

No alarm, no shouts, nothing. Nobody even notices as Nesta leaves the building, descends the short span of steps and steps onto the main road. In the span of the next three blocks, her hair colour and outfit have changed — a mousy brunette postgraduate researcher transformed into a confident corporate worker heading into town for drinks.

The fact that her nondescript purse carries a $5 million dollar necklace is almost irrelevant.

Nesta smiles. Her heart beats steadily in time with the assured clicking of heels on pavement. It is almost too easy.

She takes her time returning to her apartment, swinging by the bookstore and casually browses through the new romance releases. She only returns to her building much later with two books clasped between her forearm and chest. Those, she paid for. There are lines that even she does not cross.

She greets the doorman, glances out the all-glass walls of the lift, and swipes down the access card, entering through the doorway. A routine so ordinary no one will ever suspect otherwise.

Nesta allows the door to snick shut before she scoffs. She snips with no real edge, “Sloppy.”

The blood in her veins thrum in anticipation of the figure stepping out of the shadows. A tingling in the tip of her fingers that skates up her arm, doubling with every stretched millisecond until it reaches a fiery intensity.

Like her, his outfits are usually nothing more than a disguise. But today, it feels more authentic than it ever did with her before. His Jordans peep out of the corners first. Followed by the plain black windbreaker, adorned with simple red stripes down the length of his arms, and its accompanying pants. A tight fit around powerful thighs and an embrace of a broad chest — only the lowered zipper reveals whirling ink underneath. Teasing, tantalising.

Cassian: the infamous Lord of Bloodshed, the rival to her Silver Flames.

A grin slashes across the ruggedly handsome face as he shrugs casually, “Don’t quite fancy being pinned down with a knee strike to my balls again.”

Nesta simply laughs. She sets her books and purse on the countertop. Then, she approaches him. Close enough to see the dancing specks of gold in his hazel irises, to engulf her senses with his intoxicating scent of smoked wood and crisp winter air, like a roaring campfire in the cold woods. She glances up to lock gazes with him. In one fluid motion. She settles an open palm on his shoulder and brings her knee dangerously close between his thighs once more.

She then drops her lifted leg back to the ground and uses the momentum to push herself up to whisper into his ear, “Liar. You loved it.”

It has always been a game of cat and mouse between the two of them. From chasing each other all over the globe with cryptic messages, embedded between the obvious clues of their next target, to finally clashing in-person; first with words and later with tongue and teeth.

Exhilaration and fulfilment in a way Nesta never thought possible.

Cassian hums and closes a hand around the small of her back, its size nearing spanning the entirety of her waist. The grip tightens almost painfully as he crushes her body flushed against his. Every soft curve against hard muscle. His lips parted a mere inch away from her face.

The simmering heat in her blazes.

“You can never prove it.”

Then the heat vanishes. Cassian has stepped away, his deft fingers already lifting the stolen necklace out of her purse. “Impressive work with the switch. Who knew those Earthy nut jobs would be there?” Referring to the climate activists who are in favour of ruining famous art to make a statement on climate change. They usually targeted more popular museums to make their splashing point but they had struck the slightly less known restored palace today. Sent by Nesta as a diversion, of course. And unsurprisingly, Cassian figured out the whole play.

She carefully extracts the jewellery out of his hands. She drawls, “Who knew, indeed?”

The scar that cuts across his left brow glimmers in the pale sheen of the moonlight as Cassian smirks all too knowingly.

“And the lack of a calling card?” He asks, not missing a beat. The side of his hip rests against the countertop, his eyes trained on her as she keeps the necklace in a simple box. She will have it moved to a safe location when she leaves the country but for now, it is as safe as it gets.

The box clicks shut, the digital lock blinks as the internal sliding mechanism activates.

“A flame symbol etched deep within the crystals.” She answers firmly and almost too smug, “Whenever they find out it’s a fake.”

“Brilliant.”

In the next breath, Cassian brackets her back into the countertop, his lips swiftly capturing hers. The familiar taste of him has Nesta reacting by reflex; her lips contouring against his, sucking, moaning. Her arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer. More.

More, his lips agree. Tongue thrusting in for a deeper taste of her. Rough hands move her legs to hook around his waist. The searing grip on her thighs, threatening to leave a bruise as he effortlessly carries her towards the bedroom, his mouth never once parting from hers.

***

Much, much later when they are a tangle of limbs under the sheets, Nesta hums sleepily in sated content. Her eyelids grow heavy as calloused fingers trace lazy circles on the pale, smooth skin of her shoulders. Waves and curls; a constant motion reminiscent of his tattoos.

Her eyes fell shut when she felt a slight nibble on her ear, almost beckoning her not to give into blissful sleep just yet.

“Move in with me.” A low rumble reverberates through their bodies.

Silver blue eyes fly open. Nesta hastily twists her body around so that she is facing him, and she scrutinises him with a gaze.

Cassian is the picture of relaxed contentment. His hands adapt to the change in position instantly, still drawing those lazy circles. Hazel eyes that Nesta can spend all day looking at, are soft, touched with just the slightest of nerves.

He is so painfully beautiful.

“People like us don’t have homes.” She whispers.

Because they have houses, sure. Lots of them even. But, homes? The notion is so foreign it almost twists her tongue funny to say.

Cassian gives her one inscrutable look before scooping her into his arms. Those molten honey eyes engulfs her with just as much warmth as his body does.

“Oh, Nesta. Don’t you know by now? My home is wherever you are.”

Nesta simply smiles and relaxes into the embrace.

She’s home.

[sevasey51]

A day off for Y/N and Connor is at work. She woke up in a mild flare. This is the first day that no one is able to check on her while he is at work. Will is on shift and Jay is tied up with a very difficult case. Conmor being the usual protective, loving, prepared surgeon husband he makes sure she is set up for everything for the day. He’s made sure that if Connor can’t call her someone else does. Hannah, Ava, Will,Jay. Connor makes sure she knows how the data log works( even though she already does). Many calls and check ins she’s fine. At the end of the night when Connor comes home he finds her and Charlie curled up on the couch and Y/N is half asleep watching Gossip Girl. Being his usual loving husband he runs every test he does for every crisis.

Even When He’s Not Here

Summary: Y/N wakes up in the familiar haze of a mild flare—just enough to slow her down, not enough to stop her. It’s her day off, and Connor’s on shift. But it’s the first day in a while where no one can check in. Jay’s out in the field. Will’s slammed at Med. And for once, the apartment feels a little too quiet. But even alone, she’s never really alone. Because Connor made sure of that—notes taped to drawers, an infusion pre-hung, and a schedule of check-in texts that land right on cue.

The silence hit her first.

Not the uncomfortable kind. Just… stillness. The kind that makes you realize how used to background noise you are—Connor humming in the kitchen, Charlie padding down the hall, Jay texting something ridiculous about whatever show he and Hailey are watching.

But today, it was just her.

And her body.

And the slow simmer of a flare that had crept in overnight.

She rolled onto her side, the ache in her pelvis tightening like a band.

It wasn’t bad. Not really. Just enough to make the room feel one shade too bright. Her limbs felt heavier. Her thoughts a bit slower.

She knew the signs.

Connor had known too, before he’d even left for Med.

“You don’t have to push through today,” he’d said, kneeling beside the bed. “Take it slow. Fluids are in the fridge. I left the emergency pack on the counter in case it tips.”

She’d murmured something like “I’ve got this” into the pillow, but his kiss to her temple lingered even after he’d left.

By 11 a.m., she’d gotten up.

Fed Charlie. Started her fluids. Took a Zofran just to stay ahead of the nausea.

There was a sticky note on the cabinet above the snacks:

“Check vitals by 12. You know Ava’s watching the log. xo.”

She smiled at that. He always made her feel taken care of—even from a hospital away.

She checked her BP. HR. Logged them like always. Left a small note for Hannah and Ava in the symptom field:

“Mild discomfort. Nausea 2/10. Fatigue mostly. Craving soup. Is that a medical code?”

At 12:05, her phone pinged.

Ava:

Soup is the only code that matters. Drink water too.

By 4 p.m., she was curled up on the couch, warm blanket over her lap, the low drone of Gossip Girl playing in the background. Her fluids were nearly done. Charlie was asleep at her feet.

She wasn’t better.

But she wasn’t worse either.

And for now, that was enough.

Connor got home just before 7.

He dropped his bag by the door and immediately crouched beside her.

“You look cozy,” he said softly.

She smiled. “Made it through.”

He didn’t say anything at first. Just brushed her hair back and checked her pulse against her neck. Cool fingertips against her cheek. A quiet “breathe for me” as he checked her rate.

“I hate not being here,” he murmured.

“You were,” she said quietly. “All day.”

Because his love wasn’t loud.

It was written on sticky notes.

Tucked into medication drawers.

Baked into every quiet message

That told her she was never

Fighting this alone.

[trashyswitch]

Day 11: Squeal

Luigi is chasing after Daisy, trying to get his hat back. But Daisy is NOT having it. So, Luigi tickles her...which ends up reminding him of a childhood memory.

FAHCK I'M LATE! Sorry! Hope you enjoy!

Luigi and Daisy were sprinting around, swerving through every mushroom in the forest and dodging rocks that stuck out in the grass. Daisy was in the front with Luigi’s hat in hand and a playful smile on her face, while Luigi, who was left hatless, was running behind with a smirk on his face. 

“GIVE IT BACK, HAT THIEF!” Luigi yelled. 

“COME ON, LU! JUST GIVE UP!” Daisy reacted, before turning herself around so she was running backwards. “I’M JUST TOO FAST FOR YOU!” She mentioned. 

“NOT A CHANCE! I’LL CATCH UP SOON, JUST YOU WAIT.” Luigi yelled back, picking up his pace with a growing evil grin. 

Daisy sprinted to the floating bricks and ran over them one step at a time. She leaped up towards the cliffside and just for dramatic effect, she twirled in the air before landing on the grass. 

Luigi widened his eyes with surprise as he saw her fluid movements and got ready for the floating blocks himself. He focused on each block as he landed on it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8! He jumped on the last block and landed on the grass with a lack of balance on his feet. But once he got his balance again, he shook himself off and resumed running after her. 

“NOT BAD, LUIGI! BUT WHAT ABOUT BOUNCY MUSHROOMS?” Daisy asked as she kept running. “BRING IT ON, PRINCESS!” Luigi declared. 

Daisy ran to the cliffside and took another jump. She landed on the first mushroom, and felt as it sunk in and threw her up into the air like a typical trampoline. She flew through the air with adrenaline running through her veins, and landed onto another trampoline to continue the bouncy process all over again. The girl was leaping past some of the bouncy mushrooms with little consideration for her own safety! She was just that good! She soon landed in the grass perfectly on her feet, and dusted herself off before taking off again. Luigi took more of a careful approach to bouncy mushrooms. He knew he could be thrown all over the place if he wasn't careful. So he kept his movements calculated. He jumped to one mushroom, and used the first bounce to get his bearings. The second bounce was to fully fix himself, and the third bounce was to move him to the next mushroom. He repeated this with the second mushroom. The first bounce was to collect himself, the second bounce was to adjust himself, and the third jump was to move on. He soon made it to the cliffside, and did a somersault up to his feet to prevent injury. 

Daisy turned herself around and started running backwards. “WELL DONE, WEEGEE!” Daisy reacted with two thumbs up. 

“THANKS!” Luigi replied, saluting her. 

“NOW FOR THE ULTIMATE TEST!” She declared. With that said, she jumped up and fell backwards off a cliff, leaving only her umbrella behind. 

Luigi’s smirk switched to shock and fear as Daisy disappeared under the grass. “DAISY?!” Luigi yelled, sprinting after her and stopping at the cliff. He picked up her lost umbrella and looked over the cliffside. “PRINCESS!” Luigi yelled, seeing as she flew down like a skydiver. 

But Luigi kept watching as Daisy adjusted herself and opened her gown skirt to use as a makeshift parachute. Luigi let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw she was okay. With Daisy safe, Luigi focused on himself. He opened her umbrella, and let out a shaky breath. He is not a huge fan of heights, especially falling from such a distance. He took a few breaths in and out and put on a firm face. Do it for Daisy. Do it for Daisy. 

Luigi jumped off the cliff and held onto the umbrella with both hands. He had immediately tensed up holding his breath, squeezing his eyes shut and tightening his muscles to prepare for the sudden fall. But…a few seconds later, and…he still hasn’t fallen. 

He opened one eye…and then opened his other eye…

Slowly, he began to properly process the fact that he was actually floating down from the cliff! In fact, he was already a quarter of the way down! Luigi smiled when he saw Daisy waiting down there under the green forest area. She was wearing his hat, and just jumping around and cheering him on from below. He smiled as he adjusted the umbrella so he would turn a bit to the left, before floating the rest of the way down. He landed successfully on his feet under the trees and closed the umbrella. “Alright.” Luigi said. “Now GET OVER HERE!” He yelled with a devilish grin. 

Daisy squeaked and took off running again, laughing the whole time. It didn’t take long for Luigi to tackle his girlfriend to the ground. “Gotcha!” Luigi declared. “Give it!”  

“No!” She giggled as she moved the hat around to dodge his reaches. “No! Never! Mine now!” She reacted, moving it left, right, and down. And then she did something REALLY evil: she brought her hands, and the hat, behind her back with a smirk. “Try and get it now, Weegee~” she teased. 

Luigi raised his eyebrows in surprise at first. Wow…she’s good. But he rubbed his hands together and slowly started to wiggle his fingers at her. “Bad idea, Princess~” He teased evilly. 

Daisy gasped and grew nervous in a simple snap. “Uh oh.” 

Luigi started off with a few pokes to her tummy and sides. And immediately, Daisy began to squeak and squeal. “Tickle tickle tickle~!” Luigi teased. 

“Eek! Hehehehe! Luihigihi nohoho! HEEheehee! Noho tickles! HAHA!” She squealed and giggled helplessly as Luigi poked the super vulnerable areas in her middle. 

“I won’t stop until you give me back my hat.” Luigi let her know with a smirk. 

She brought her right free hand out so she could cover up or defend herself from the tickly fingers of her boyfriend. “Neverhrhrhr!!” She yelled back. 

“Aww, really?” Luigi asked. “Well…” He leaned his knuckles back to crack them and wiggled them again. “I might have to take it up a notch.” Luigi said right before skittering and scratching his fingers all over her sides. 

This made Daisy squeal another octave higher and throw her head back with full-on laughter this time! “HAHAHAhahaha! HAhaha-HeheheheheheeeEEE!” Daisy squealed yet again as she felt her lowest ribs get unexpectedly touched. 

“Oooh! What was that?” Luigi asked playfully as he backtracked his fingers to her first couple ribs. “Was that another tickle spot I just found?” He asked, starting right below the ribs to worsen the anticipation. 

“NOhohoho! Ihihit wahasn’t! Ihi swehehehear!” She responded. 

“Oh if wasn’t!” Luigi reacted, knowing she was blatantly lying. “Oh that’s so funny you say that!” He squeezed her ribs just once, causing Daisy to arch her back and cackle. “Because your laughter is telling me something completely different.” He started to walk both index and middle fingers up her ribs veeery slowly. “These ribs are telling me ‘Help! I’m too ticklish! It’s driving me crazy!’.” Luigi told her, coming up with a silly high-pitched voice for her ‘talking’ ribs. 

This only made Daisy laugh harder. “STOHOP BEHEHEING WEHEHEHEIRD!” She laughed: 

“Nah. I love being weird!” Luigi declared. “Or strano, as my papa would say.” He added with a fond smile. “Oh! Hahaha! That reminds me:” He stopped tickling so he could tell her about his father. “My father always referred to us as the ‘bambini strani’ or the ‘weird kids’ growing up.” Luigi mentioned, laying himself down beside Daisy. “And until we understood what that really meant, we would walk around acting like we were royalty!” Luigi quickly began laughing as he reminisced. He sat up and looked at Daisy. “If me and Mario were being mischievous in any way, Papa would chase us around the house yelling ‘Nessuna faccenda divertente!’.” Luigi arched his back as he laughed a bit harder. “Whihihich trahanslated to ‘No funny business!’.” Luigi explained. 

Daisy laughed and cooed. “Thahat’s so cute!” She reacted. 

“Yeah…” Luigi looked at Daisy and took his hat off her head. “My hat.” He said with a giggle. 

Daisy rolled her eyes and giggled. “Nut job.” She teased, poking his side. 

Luigi jumped and poked her back. “Margherita.” Luigi said. 

“Margarita? What’s that?” Daisy asked, saying it a little off. 

Luigi bit his lip as he blushed and scratched the back of his head. “O-Oh…” He looked down and brought his voice to a whisper. “It…means Daisy in Italian.” Luigi admitted. 

Daisy’s face lit up. “Say it again!” She reacted. 

Luigi blushed a bit more. “M-Margherita.” Luigi said in his traditional Italian accent. 

Daisy smiled. “One more time.” She told him. 

“Margheri-” Luigi hummed in surprise as he felt her lips touch his. He slowly closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, cupping her cheek lovingly. She kissed him for a few moments before breaking the kiss to breathe. 

Luigi moved some of her hair behind her ear. “I guess you really like the accent?” Luigi asked. 

“I love it.” She said softly. 

Luigi looked down, blushing an even brighter red. 

This only made Daisy laugh. “Plum face.” She teased, poking him. 

Luigi jumped and guffawed with surprise, before poking her back. “Carrot top.” Luigi said back. 

“Carrot top?!” Daisy gasped. 

Luigi smirked. “Yeah. Carrot top.” he replied proudly. 

Daisy grew an evil grin. “Oh that’s it.” She jumped onto his waist and started tickling him all over. “Take it back.” She ordered. 

“WaaAAHAHAHAhahaha!” Luigi cackled, shaking his head and kicking his feet wildly. “NEVEHEHEHERRR!” He fought. 

“Oh, you say that now…” She lifted up his shirt slightly and tucked it in. “But I know I can make you change your mind.” She took a deep breath.

“NoNONO-” Adrenaline kicked in as he tried to sit up. 

“PPPPPBBBFFFBBBFFFBFBBFBBTT!” Daisy blew a massive raspberry right onto his now-bare tummy. 

And Luigi absolutely lost it! The poor man threw his head back and shrieked super loudly, sounding almost like a girl in the process! “waaaAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!” Luigi cackled, letting go of Daisy’s head the moment his lover removed her face from his belly. 

“Wanna take back that insult yet?” She asked. 

“Hehehehehehe- nohohohoho. Nohoho wahahahay!” Luigi managed to reply as he shook his head. 

“I see…Your funeral.” She replied before taking another deep breath. “PPPPBBBFFFFBBBBBFFFBBBBFFFBBBBBTTT!” She let out the raspberry into his upper belly, specifically around the ab muscles. 

Luigi squealed somewhat high-pitched. “eeEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEE! HAHAHAHAhahahaha!” Luigi laughed hysterically. When his laughter slowly began dying down, Luigi finally began to give up. “Ohokahay…ohokay. Ihihi tahake back my wohords.” Luigi told her. 

She smiled with content and satisfaction before getting up and laying down beside him. “That’s what I thought.” She added. 

Luigi blushed a bit before leaning in towards Daisy. “Though, I love when you wear orange. It compliments your eyes.” He admitted, kissing her cheek. 

Daisy hummed and raised her eyebrows as a small blush developed on her own face. Not wanting Luigi to see it, she quickly shoved Luigi’s hat down into his eyes. “Don’t be trying to flatter me, Luigi.” She reacted. 

“Why? Is it working?” Luigi asked in a way that looked more excited than flirty. 

Daisy looked to the side for a moment. “M…Maybe…” She whispered quietly. 

Luigi let out a laugh in response, enjoying her flustered side for as long as he could before it inevitably got covered up again. Only Luigi had seen her like this. And frankly, Daisy wanted to keep it that way. And Luigi…He’s just honored to be allowed to see this side of her. 

[bridgyrose]

Ladybug Week Day 4: Accidental Confession

Ruby listened to Blake’s heart as she trained before the first light in Beacon’s courtyard, smiling a bit as she watched every movement. A blush crossed her cheeks as she kept to the shadows, careful not to get into the sunlight that started to make its way through the trees. She swore her own heart skipped a beat or two as she watched each fluid movement her crush made, each careful stroke of her sword, hearing every pound of her heart as it filled her ears and resonated with her own hunger. 

“You know you could join me,” Blake said as she sheathed her blade and wiped her sweat from her brow. “Unless you prefer to lurk when someone trains.” 

“I’m not lurking, I just got here.” Ruby pulled away from the tree she was hiding behind, slowly making her way to Blake as she carefully avoided any sunlight. “And I thought it would be rude of me to ask to join you without an invitation.” 

Blake smirked a bit as she sat her towel down. “And when were you thinking about asking? After another hour of watching?” 

Ruby looked away for a moment to hide her blush after being caught watching Blake for much longer than she expected. “Its not often I get to watch someone like you train,” she said quietly to herself. 

“Come on over and we can start to work on your hand to hand.” 

Ruby nodded and made her way over to Blake, moving her cloak to keep the sunlight off her shoulders and putting her hood up to give herself a bit more of a shadow to move in. She smiled as she readied herself. “Ready when you are.” 

Blake raised her fists and took a strike at Ruby. “Isnt it a bit hot to keep yourself bundled up in your cloak like that? I know its only spring, but its not like its stayed cool.” 

“I burn easily,” Ruby said as she dodged the strike and tried to strike back with a jab. “So its easier to keep myself covered so I dont get a sunburn.” 

“Couldnt you just use sunscreen?” 

“I’ve tried and it never worked.” Ruby took a step back to miss another strike from Blake, tripping over her cloak and nearly falling over until she was caught by Blake. She panted a bit as she looked into Blake’s amber eyes as they reflected the sunlight, a blush crossing her cheeks as she started to lose where she was. Her ears caught Blake’s heartbeat, her own hunger starting to get the best of her as she moved from Blake’s eyes to her neck. She felt her fangs start to grow a bit, getting snapped out of her stupor once she heard Blake’s voice. 

“Are you okay, Ruby?” 

“I-I’m fine.” Ruby stood up and pulled away from Blake, looking away from her as she took a few breaths to calm herself and let her fangs hide. “I… I got a little lost looking at someone so pretty.”  

“You think I’m pretty?” Blake asked. 

Ruby’s blush deepened further as she started to panic, slightly moving into the light and burning her hand as she touched a metal bench. She recoiled back, only to freeze when she felt Blake’s hand on her own again, being gentle with the burn. 

“Maybe we should start heading inside,” Blake said. “If its getting warm enough that you’re going to burn yourself on metal, then maybe we should be done for the day.” 

Ruby nodded softly, still trying to hide her blush. “Its about time for breakfast anyway. We dont want to be late.” 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby smiled as she watched Blake stretch in the sunlight, opening up her umbrella to keep herself out of the sun as a few memories from Beacon came to the front of her mind. “I could watch you do this all day.” 

“Then maybe you can join me,” Blake said as she picked herself back up, giving a sly grin to Ruby. “Unless you prefer to lurk for another hour or so.” 

“I’d love to, but you know I still burn easily.” 

“You still have your cloak.” 

Ruby rolled her eyes and put her cloak over her, making sure her arms were covered and her hood was up. “Alright, I’ll join you.” 

Blake smiled and moved over a bit to give Ruby some room. “Then maybe we can spar?” 

“Like we used to at Beacon?” Ruby grinned and got into a ready stance. “Yeah, I’m ready.” 

“Great! Then show me what you can do!” 

Ruby ducked as she avoided a jab from Blake, not quite expecting her to go for her face already. She jabbed back, weaving after to try to strike Blake once more, her hand going into a shadow clone and catching her off balance. 

“Too slow!” 

“Wait Blake-” Ruby felt herself get kicked and pushed into the sunlight, wincing as she felt the light burn her. She pulled the cloak around her to protect herself, panicking as her fangs started to show. She curled up to keep her safe, breathing hard as she felt the light still sting at her. 

“Ruby?” Blake called. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” 

“I-I… I need my umbrella,” Ruby said between breaths, eyes focused on the shadow her cloak made. “I have to get out of the shade. Vampires arent supposed to be in sunlight.” 

“Why didnt you tell me?” 

Ruby paused for a moment as she watched the shadows grow for a moment, slowly peeking out of her cloak to see her umbrella over her. Then, she felt Blake’s hand on her shoulder, gentle as ever. “I… I was worried… that you’d hate me if you found out. We’re huntresses, we fight grimm and monsters that threaten humanity. And here I am, the monster that humanity is supposed to hate, helping to protect humanity from the grimm. You can see how this all sounds, right?” 

“I could never have hated you for that.” Blake helped Ruby up and sighed. “Lets get you home then.” 

Ruby nodded and took Blake’s arm, propping up against her as they made their way back to camp to break it down and pack up. As she finished packing up, she paused as she smelled the familiar scent of blood, slowly looking over at Blake. 

Blake moved her arm in view for Ruby, offering it out to her. “To get your strength up.” 

Ruby licked her lips as she made her way closer to Blake, gently sinking her teeth into her arm and feeding from her lover, making sure to be careful and not take too much as her burnt skin started to heal.

[track2hack]

01.01.2025

2024… where do I even begin!! My most stable un-basket-case year since 2023, finally more ups than downs and might have a winning medication combination with a few tweaks 🤞 Maybe pre-23 Emily is still in there under the surface! She’s a little battered and bruised but not beaten 💪

January

My second BPC camp, still having meltdowns over a simple flat lesson and no confidence left to speak of - probably my lowest point of the year with Eddie, both of us recovering after major doubts in our partnership proving right (at the time!)

February

Ed’s second go at Waimak where he stayed til August. A much needed break to reset and gain some confidence 🤞 Started riding Gem full time while mum was in a cast and gearing up for Champs!

March

The arrival of my gorgeous miss Molly who settled in like nothing was a problem ❤️ So so stoked and excited to have a change of scenery riding-wise and sharpen up my mindset, gain some skills and much needed confidence

Also my first time competing in the North Canterbury PC Champs! Felt like I was high on a cloud the whole day, didn’t want this amazing feeling to stop now that I’d got a taste of it!

April

First Harris Trophy/Pegasus Cup team! Results on paper weren’t fantastic (I don’t know how we didn’t die tbh 🤣) but SUCH an amazing day with amazing ladies, I can honestly say I’ll be putting another team in this year come hell or high water, it was THAT fun (can you see the pattern here, team events are my favourite thaaang 🙈)

Molly’s first ride away from home which she handled like a champ, headed out to Bottlelake for mum’s birthday - our first inkling she might enjoy some CTR since we were already stuck with that bug 🤔

May

Passed my D+ certificate on Gem! Finally at 24 I’d caught up to the pony clubber 10yos who’d been riding since birth 🤣

First show with Molly! Just a wee in-house combined training day at PC but so much fun nonetheless, only managed to get bucked off once in the dressage warmup when no one was watching 🙈 Started to see the “cracks” in Moo at this point regarding any kind of work that wasn’t in a perfectly straight line but so desperately in love we tried to ignore it (and why wouldn’t she be sore after a year off work, she was fine for hacking so nothing’s wrong right?! Surely the lack of weight gain and condition/topline despite being pumped with fatty feeds and 24/7 hay and chiro means nothing 🤷‍♀️🥴)

June

First CTR with Molly! A cruisy 10ks at Woodend beach going through Birchbrook and the Butt racing stables, a bit trying at times (mainly the brakes 😅) but soooo so much fun 🤩 Well and truly hooked on endurance now!!

July

Second CTR with Moo at West Melton, awesome day out but the high doesn’t last for long 😮‍💨

Things with Molly go straight downhill from here unfortunately - no amount of feed or rugs would keep weight on her even in such a mild winter, she was so visibly uncomfortable riding her I felt bad even sitting on her let alone doing any work, she couldn’t bend or supple or lower her head, she bucked every ride, wouldn’t go forward, etc etc. you all know the story by now. She went from the loveliest little mare on arrival/out of work to so sore she would lash out at people with no warning - managed to double barrel two separate people two separate times in two totally different situations. No amount of bodywork, farrier, chiro, etc would help her, she got so wound up one day with an amazing bodyworker we had to cut the session short because she was getting wild and wouldn’t let anyone touch her. After a lot of thoughts, tears, prayers, and long conversations, it was time to say goodbye 💔

Some issues we already knew but the final tally included:

Grade 4/5 Kissing Spine

Fused/sacralised lumbar

Multiple pelvic fractures in the acetabulum (hip/femur socket) and lumbosacral junction

Extreme arthritic changes in both left and right front elbows

Two HUGE meaty ovarian cysts plus fluid-filled pustules all along the outer stomach lining to the ovary

One of the hardest goodbyes I’ve ever had, even though I didn’t know her for long. Miss Moo was the horse that taught me to stop second guessing myself and trust my gut if I had a suspicion something wasn’t right. By the end I was cussing myself out for getting another bloody thoroughbred but god I loved that little horse (and still do, there might be some tears typing this!) even if I didn’t think I did at the time 😅 Little horse taught me a lot in the short time she was here ❤️

August

Mister Ed’s triumphant return to the paddock! Still so so incredibly worried and nervous of fucking it up (especially after coming off the loss of Moo) which still hasn’t really gone away but the voice in my head is much quieter now 😅 A quiet month of getting to know each other again, nothing much happened and it was good

September

Amberley Cup brings out the diva in me I guess cos I enjoy poncing my way round the dressage ring WAY too much 🤣 My first ever ESNZ Advanced test and we scored pretty okay for the horse I had on the day (was held at Eyreton in their big cross country field and Gem was SO infuriated she wasn’t jumping!!). Winner winner second prize chicken dinner! 🥳

I also somehow managed to throw myself in the deep end and take Eddie out to our first “proper” show, had a LOT of fun dressing up all fancy, and immediately had to do it again in October!! 🙈

We also had our first CTR since Ed’s return, doing a wild n hairy 10ks at West Melton where there was lots of swearing and regret over coming without a stronger bit 🤣 Somehow managed to place 4th in a huge crowd, no idea how that happened!!

October

Our very first RAS/A&P show at Rangiora! Bit of a hairy morning to start but the only classes we left without a ribbon from were turnout and best presented so we must’ve done something right! 🤷‍♀️ Well and truly caught the showing/dressage bug now!

November

A pretty busy but low key month, another 10ks CTR at Waipara early on (another 4th place ribbon, must be witchcraft!) and another in-house combined training day - where we managed to come SECOND for our dressage test and score our first 8.5-9.0 marks!! Take a wild guess at what gait it was (hint: of course it was the walk 🙈)

We also had our first jump since basically January where I came off in spectacular fashion after Ed shied at a pole, entered our twilight training evening and had an absolute riot hooning around some tiny cross poles!! Where did this extra confidence come from? Don’t ask me, I’ve got no fkn clue but I’m happy she’s here!! 🙈🤣

December

Pony club end of year breakup show, ending on a major high and grinning like looneys! 😁

Entered last minute our first “hunter” training day at Ryal, not the results we wanted but lots of confidence gained at the end of the day! 💪

—

It’s been a wild roller coaster of a year, somehow I’m still standing and loving every minute of it - here’s to carrying this positivity through to 2025! 🥳🤞

[enouement-x]

After the fear has worn down about if I'd have to put my sweet Figgy down or not, I have been filled with such blinding rage. Her symptoms Thursday were due to extremely severe hypertension and most likely a stroke because of hypertension - something I tried to get taken care of back in October.

She's my elderly girl with lots of "special features" (health issues) already so I am very hypervigilante with her. I tried to get my regular vet to check her blood pressure in Oct because of her symptoms. The receptionist said they didn't have the right size cuff, but the vet would call me to figure something out. The vet never called. I called back a few days later, the vet was supposed to still call, she never did.

So then I was just like, fine, I will schedule an appointment with her specialist vet (where she had surgery before and got her IBD taken care of) two hours away to get her blood pressure checked- he was booked till February.

Now, my sweet Figgy most likely had a stroke and her blindness is due to hypertension that could have been taken care of in fucking October. I don't understand why regular vets do not normally check cat's blood pressure. Figgy has chronic kidney disease which is fairly common in elderly cats, and around 3/4 of them develop hypertension. So why? Why don't they check? Our specialist vet showed me how to check (when we went for a follow up today) and you just use a regular human blood pressure monitor and the cuff size is less than $10.

I am so deeply enraged that what she just went through could have been prevented that I can hardly stand it. She also might not fully recover and I just feel like reigning hell fire on earth if she doesn't because I tried to prevent this and because I am so fiercely protective of my two cats. She and I spend so much time monitoring and caring for her chronic issues. She needs subcutaneous fluids at least twice a week, 3-4 meds every day, depending (she is actually great with these things), I cannot not come home for a day because she has to have these meds, I have to schedule my life around caring for her. I don't mind this at all, I am so incredibly honored to give her this care and she returns the favor with the utmost love and companionship. But, we do all this, and her vet could not just order a very cheap cuff or even call me back to tell me if she could take care of her blood pressure. Also, her hypertension is what has caused her blindness which may not get any better even with the blood pressure meds she's now received.

Anyway, it is rare that I feel such fierce protective rage coursing through my body but once the fear went away of having to consider putting Figgy down before I knew what was wrong, this is what filled me. She is my sweet girl who trusts me and only me, and my days are spent making sure she has the best and longest, loving life after an awful one on the streets. To give her so much care only to know that I tried to prevent this, yet was met with negligence, really fucking floors me.

If anyone is wondering, Capital Veterinary Specialists absolutely works wonders and they are the true epitome of caring veterinary practice. Lastly, please send nice thoughts to my sweet girl. I haven't even had her two years yet since I found her and she's already gone through so much - but she always shows me she is still determined to keep loving and being loved.

[lazeecomet]

Le Van Saga

Ok this has to its own post because there is so much backstory

Several years back i bought a Mercedes Sprinter 2500 cargo van with my mom to turn into a Glamper Van (that's Glamorous Camping). i want to road trip it across the US. she wants to go camping with a full size queen bed and a table to use her laptop at.

she has gone glamping several times. i've been stuck driving it in rush hour traffic to and from work instead of road tripping because my EV car broke (different post. still mad about that)

when we bought it, we wanted to take it in for a checkup but the only Mercedes dealership that would work on it was several cities over. most dealerships dont work on vans for some reason. so we take it 30 min away, it gets a clean bill of health.

the day after we get it back, it starts surging in residential traffic and i have to slam on the breaks to prevent the van from rear ending someone. the dash lights up with the ABS light, traction control light, wheel slip light, and check engine light. because im me, i've got a OBD2 scan tool on me and check the code: Left Wheel Speed Sensor Error

we take it back and learn that the wheel speed sensors are a recall item. a factory defect allows water to get into the sensor and cause it to fail prematurely. Parts and labor are waved but the van stays there for 3 weeks due to supply chain issues because covid

when we we get it back they have only replaced the LEFT sensor. when we inquire about the right, they told us since it was currently working they would not be able to replace it under recall. the recall only extended to sensors that had failed. not wanting them to keep the van for any more time (as we are still building it out and this has delayed us) we grumble and take it back. its good for about 1 year

on the way back from Glamping, the car kicks my mom out of cruse control and throws up all those warning lights again. this time the code reader says its the RIGHT sensor

we take it in and they find that an O ring has failed in the axle. all the gear oil has leaked down the axle shaft and flooded the right speed sensor. the entire axle has to be replaced. THEY DO NOT REPLACE THE SPEED SENSOR. when we ask why, they say that once they dried it out from all the oil, it was fine.

this month i took the van in for a checkup. i bought the 80K miles package (we are at 72K but i dont want to push it) and the car gets a full service. filters and belts and pumps are replaced along with the engine AND transmission oil. (get your transmission oil FLUSHED every 50K miles. Flushed not serviced. removed and replace all of it. the manufacturers say its "lifetime fluid" but that "lifetime" is 1 year after the power-train warranty expires) and the van is running great

the week after it comes back i hit a speed bump and the familiar 4 come back. ABS, traction control, wheel slip, and check engine. there is only 1 thing in my mind that can be. right speed sensor has finally failed (i've lost my scan tool so i cant check)

we take it in and i tell the service manager basically the same thing in this post. as usual, he does not put my diagnosis in the report. just the symptoms. today when i picked it up, he applauded my diagnosis skills because i was exactly right. The Right Wheel Speed Sensor failed. since the car had JUST been in the shop, the diagnosis fee was waved and since the part failed, it was FINALLY covered under the recall and replaced at no parts/labor cost.

when i got home, i read over the report and noticed something. the tech wrote "right speed sensor reads high speed intermittently and reports different speed then other 3 sensors"

OTHER 3 SENSORS

theres STILL 2 FUCKING WHEEL SPEED SENSORS THAT HAVE NOT BEEN REPLACED YET. WE'VE ONLY BEEN LOOKING AT THE BACK TIRES!!!

i thought we were finally done with this. i dont want to ever make an update post about this

[baghassavocados]

Gonna put a page break cause it's longgg

1. A little biased but Spinning Tree (both times) {I also enjoy the 2016 tour, a bit of McCarter, and Station Theater BUT I haven't seen many productions}

2. No 😔

3. Uhhh if I have to choose one, Noel, cause he's cool and interesting and he was really fun to play and he's honestly really caring.

4. The Most Creative Person in Town?

5. All of them, but "Noel's Lament" and "Ballad..." especially

6. My favorites are Nischa/Passion Fruit, Mischa x Talia (dunno if they have a specific ship name, they should), SpaceDolls, and PerfectDolls. My least favorite is Noel x any of the girls.

7. Constance's definitely (Mischa and Noel are tied for second)

8. (I put this at the bottom cause I put a LOT-)

9. Y E S- (I'd list them here but that'd make this post so much longer-)

10. Yeye I do :) (they all deserve another chance)

11. I've only ever heard that they exist :(

12. U H- all the New Birthday Song mini scenes? And the scene after "Every Story's Got a Lesson" in the 2016 version.

13. I like the rollercoasters that just spin you around a bunch (so probably similarly to the Gravitron?)

14. Yes

15. Ocean choosing Jane, Constance's monologue, "Talia" and what follows it, "New Birthday Song" and the Jane/Ricky and Noel/Mischa scenes after it, and "It's Not a Game/It's Just a Ride"

16. No

17. Yeah, such as staring blankly, sometimes moving like a marionette, leaning her head to one side, and a more monotone voice.

18. Ummmm

Ocean would try to find a prestigious college in Uranium so she could stay close to Constance but I think ultimately might go to Harvard. Dunno what she'd go into. Maybe teaching so she could be a principal or superintendent eventually (Practicing to be the Prime Minister of Canada). Constance would work at the Blackwood Café while doing online schooling. Dunno what she'd go into either...maybe culinary? Mischa would either take a gap year or just not go to college cause he prefers his rap career. Either way, he'd get a full-time job (probably has one already considering shitty parents don't care about him). He'd also get an apartment the moment he's legally and financially able to (unfortunately doesn't have enough money to get out of Uranium, yet). The rest of the choir would help him settle in. If he did go to college, he'd probably major in music. Penny might go into Forensics/Criminology, Psychology, or Zoology. She might try to go for all three at once. Ricky would go into creative writing but I have a feeling he'd major and/or minor in something else. I don't know what, tho. Noel would want to study abroad in France. Would he be able to? Not very likely. Maybe the choir would pitch in to help, that'd be nice. He'd major in French literature and culture, maybe minor in theater.

19. Jane and Talia - Blue (specifically the RTC album blue)

Ocean and Penny - Green

Noel - Red

Mischa - Orange (maybe also yellow)

Ricky, Constance, and Karnak - Purple

Ricky - also Pink

20. Fall Fair (but I do enjoy Uranium Suite)

8. Ocean and Noel are like siblings (hate each other {and Noel knows when to shut Ocean down} but care about each other), Penny has so many dark facts about animals, Ricky learned ASL on his own and has an AAC device, they all probably learn French cause they're Canadian but Noel likes to use it a lot in day to day life (but he also tries to use more European French than Canadian French), Ricky has a whole Google Doc and at least a few notebooks/sketchbooks dedicated to Zolar, they also have a DeviantArt account, Ricky's also trans but I can't decide which trans she is (like idk if they're Transmasc, Transfem, Gender fluid, Nonbinary... Ricky is THE transgender-) he uses any pronouns tho, Ocean is AroAce or Lesbian {either way, she is not attracted to men}, Constance loves baking for the choir and she makes sure to take into account any and all dietary restrictions, Ocean is a vegan, Mischa is unphased by horror movies but if he's watching one with someone else and they seem terrified he'll talk throughout the movie to make them less terrified and if they're enthusiastic he'll talk through some of it to point out details he notices, Mischa is like the older brother the choir never knew they needed, Ocean would probably add more (or has more) religions onto her list of religions (also for some reason, Ocean with a hijab is appealing to me), Ricky likes putting buttons on their uniform and customizing almost everything they own (such as technology, disability aids, sketchbooks, etc.) with cool stickers, Penny and Ricky (and maybe even Ezra) like to talk about Fnaf theories, Ricky has the choir beta read her writing {Penny, Mischa, and Constance tend to be the ones to do it}, when Noel finally feels comfortable to be Lola Lola for Halloween, Mischa and Ricky support him through dressing in drag with him, Mischa offers up stick and poke tattoos and Penny and Noel are the only two who take him up on it (Noel gets a bleeding, broken heart struck with an arrow on his shoulder, Penny gets a snake eating it's own tail on the back of her wrist, and Mischa gets a mixture of the two by the inside of his elbow), they're all autistic, and I think I should stop there cause oh man I didn't realize how many I had (i should make a doc or something with all of my headcanons-)

ride the cyclone ask game!!

(I’ve never actually made/done one of these before so if I somehow manage to do this wrong pls tell me ^^)

1. What’s your favourite production?

2. Have you seen/read the script for Legoland? If so, what do you think?

3. Favourite character and why?

4. If you were in the choir, what would your “the most x person in town” be?

5. Favourite song/songs?

6. Do you engage in shipping, and if so, what is your favourite and least favourite ship?

7. Favourite monologue?

8. What’s your favourite headcanon?

9. Do you have any fic recommendations?

10. Do you enjoy the ‘everybody comes back to life’ aus?

11. Do you know much about the cut characters? If so, do you enjoy them?

12. Favourite scene?

13. Do you like rollercoasters? If so, what type of rides do you like?

14. Do you think Talia is real?

15. What moment/scene in the show makes you the most emotional?

16. Do you have any ocs?

17. Do you think penny retained any ‘jane doe-ish’ features after coming back to life?

18. What do you think the choir would have done after high school if they didn’t ride the cyclone?

19. What colour do you associate with each character?

20. Fall Fair or Uranium Suite?

[oh-yeah-i-exist]

In the Company of Dragons | Daemon Targaryen x OC | Chapter 1

Synopsis: Daemon Targaryen, Corlys Velaryon, and their army receive help from a foreign princess amid their final bid for the rule of the Stepstones. Three years' worth of tension has led to a victory and unexpected confessions.

Chapters: [1], [2], [3], [4]

Warning(s): SMUT (my first ever oh wow look at me), minors DNI (18+ only), slight angst

Author's note: I was never a huge GoT fan until I witnessed the glory that was Matt Smith as Daemon Targaryen on screen. Now I have to get all the thirst out of my head before I can resume normal life.

Meilin is an OC (some of her background would be explained in this piece, but imagine her as you will).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was not her first time hitching a ride on the back of a dragon. Laenor Velaryon, bolstered by the thrill of battle, commanded Seasmoke to dive lower. “Dracarys!” Exclaimed the lordling.

She said nothing, fingers clasped tightly onto the back of the young Velaryon’s armor. The heat and smoke from Seasmoke’s fiery breath had barely cleared when she slid from its back in one fluid motion and landed amid a half dozen dazed Triarchy archers. Before any of them could react, she unsheathed her steel blade, making a long slash across one man’s torso. The sight of a foreign woman on the battlefield perhaps stunned the men more so than the dragons whose flames had been raining down on them for the last 3 years. As she proceeded to make quick work of a couple more within their shattered ranks, the rest stumbled backwards, trying to gain enough distance to shoot. But she was young and lithe, dodging each arrow with elegant sidesteps.

Once the last man had been silenced, the small woman — her skin, though smeared with soot and blood, was smooth and her hair silken, giving one the impression of maidenhood — armed her own bow and let fly a decisive arrow, which hit its target a few hundred yards away and saved Daemon Targaryen, who himself had already been struck three times by enemy fire and struggling to fight off a small pack of assailants. The Rogue Prince, despite the craze of battle, was lucid enough to look up and recognize the characteristic crimson of her robes. She could not be sure, but she thought he’d given her a nod of gratitude — nay, the man was far too proud for that, but perhaps he was capable of acknowledgement — before he turned on his heels and strode after Craghas Drahar, the Crabfeeder. She watched the outline of his broad, leather-clad shoulders disappear into the darkness of the cave, a palpable sense of worry rising in her throat.

Every combatant on the field seemed to have also noticed. Weapons all but went slack in the hands of the Stepstones’ defenders as they sensed their imminent defeat, allowing the Prince’s army to maul them down with frightening candor.

Then, as quietly as he had entered the cave in pursuit of his prey, Daemon reemerged, dragging a mangled half of the Crabfeeder. Bloodied, covered in mud and soot, the Prince took assured — some would say, arrogant — steps towards his men. Without batting an eye, he dropped the mutilated corpse unceremoniously into a shallow pond of murk.

The day was won.

———————

Her blade, the Seven Stars, was forged by two of the most esteemed sword maters in her King Father’s empire. In order to make it, they had brought stream water from the sacred Cishan Mountain to the seven ponds around the sword-making fireplace. The hilt was crafted from a solid block of pure, pale green jade, which only shone brighter each time the blade tasted blood. An ethereal and formidable weapon, perfect for an ethereal and formidable princess of the Divine Eastern Realm, Shenzhou.

Indeed, the blade had accompanied her since she had been grown enough to spar with her brother, the Crown Prince, and she kept tender care of it after each battle. While the victorious army around her made clamorous merry, she sat by the warm fire in front of her tent, polishing the Seven Stars with a wet kerchief. Once she was satisfied with the blade’s shine, she placed it back in its sheath, wrapped it up in a square of gold-embroidered silk, and stored it away in a long, intricately carved box of red ironwood.

“My Lady,” a soldier approached her, bowing his head. She looked up at him, and he was mesmerized by her amber, nearly golden eyes.

“Yes?”

“Lord Daemon requests your presence, ma’am,” the soldier informed her. His cheeks turned rosy with sudden timidity. The men all felt a measure of affection towards her, charmed by what they perceived to be a delicate, exotic beauty, but were yet wise enough not to reach above their station. The best a soldier like this young man could do was linger a little bit longer near her as she stood up and made her way to the Prince’s tent.

Reaching out to lift the tent’s entrance flap, she felt a pang of embarrassment about the sordid state of her clothes and appearance. She had lived with the army for as long as they had been here in the Steptones, fought alongside them through hellfire and indescribable filth, but her highborn upbringing prevented her from neglecting her personal hygiene. She was, after all, her Father’s representative in the Seven Kingdoms. If only she’d had the time between the army’s return and now…

“Meilin? Are you coming in or are you just going to stand in the way?” A familiar voice drew her attention.

“Why don’t you go ahead, Lord Laenor?” She felt the pressure in the pit of her stomach uncoiling as the youngest Velaryon man took his place next to her outside the tent.

“As you wish.”

The other members of Daemon’s war council were already posted inside. A barber had been sent to shear off the Prince’s blood-caked locks, and he was nearly finished with the task when Laenor and Meilin made their entrance.

“The Crimson Lady!” Ser Velaryon, Lord Corlys’s younger brother, greeted her with her moniker. “You fought well today! The men sing your praises!”

Meilin gave a small smile, while Jaenor beamed. Something akin to friendship had developed between them during the long campaign. The lady was, to the lordling, like a sister.

“Indeed, princess,” Lord Corlys concurred, placing a firm hand on her shoulder.

“You’re all too kind. You have fought valiantly yourselves,” she was polite enough to accept the compliments but not vain enough to keep the attention on herself. Her golden eyes wandered towards the man at the center of the room.

“Perhaps you shall bestow the same sentiments on the one who ended this war?” Daemon mused, leaning back in his seat. The barber had noiselessly excused himself from the room. The Prince’s hair now reached only to the nape of his neck, with a few loose strands falling over his pale forehead. His left arm, which had been pierced by an arrow, was secured in a sling.

“When my son proposed the idea to me, I must admit I was convinced only a madman would have agreed to it,” Lord Corlys intoned. “My opinion still stands.”

“But it worked, did it not?” Daemon sat up straighter, a hint of annoyance in his violet eyes. “Or would you have rather we idled along, watching our fleets reduced to sunken wrecks, waiting on my brother’s pathetic attempt at aid?”

“I said no such thing, my Prince,” the Sea Snake replied in an even tone. He was accustomed to the Targaryen’s temper. “Tomorrow, you would be crowned King of the Stepstones and the Narrow Sea. We can then march back to King’s Landing as victors. King Vicerys would be hard-pressed to not give weight to our propositions now.”

The implicit concession in Corlys’s words seemed to please Daemon. “Don’t be so sure as to my brother’s soundness of mind, with Hightower still whispering in his ears,” the Prince smirked. Remembering the half-full goblet of wine on his oaken table, he took a sip. The blood-red liquid left a sweet bitterness at the back of his throat. “But it is time we turned our sails home.”

“I shall prepare the ships.”

“Crack open the wine still in our possession,” Daemon added. “Tell the men to take what they have rightfully won.”

“Of course.”

As the generals took their leave, Meilin moved to follow suit, assuming the Prince had no further need for her. But to her surprise, he stopped her in her tracks with a quiet command. “I have not given you leave, m’lady.”

She waited for the men to walk out of view before turning around to face the silver-haired man. “Yes, your highness?”

“Such formality,” Daemon scolded her teasingly, rising from his seat to close the distance between them. “I had hoped all this time spent together and the arrow you sent in my direction today meant more than that.”

“Why would you hope for such a thing?” She kept her head high, refusing to let his height and proximity intimidate her.

“And you would not?”

He was genuinely looking for an answer. He, as well as she, had not failed to cast longing glances in the rare moments of rest between strafing the caves with dragon-fire and rancorous strategizing. She had seldom defied his judgments, showing him more patience and kindness than the whole of the Seven Kingdoms and the courts put together. Yet she had given him no indication that he was free to take her as a woman, despite letting him visit her in her private space during the nights when the toll of the war had crept up on him.

“I would have, had I not known you have a lady-wife, or how much you enjoy a nightly outing in the Street of Silk,” whispered Meilin, meeting his eyes. The fierceness of a warrior and the pride of a princess slipped away, and she found herself gingerly pressing her hands against the soft fabric of his shirt. “Or the simple fact that you are a Targaryen… I cannot hope.”

Daemon’s expression softened with a trace of remorse. He captured both of her hands in one of his and brought them to his lips, laying a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “Is that fear I see in you, my Crimson Lady?”

She had not the heart to pull away. Yes, for all the statecraft lessons and bone-breaking sword fights she’d soldiered through as her Father’s firstborn, it was her heart that she could not shield from the notorious Rogue Prince. Not breaking her gaze, she gave a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.

Against every burning desire in his body, Daemon brought his hand to gently caress her cheek. She leaned into his touch, and his thumb grazed ever so slightly across her chin, before he bent down to kiss her. He took it slow — agonizingly slow — trying to assuage her anxiety with each movement of his lips against hers. Eventually, her hands reached over his shoulders and became entangled in his newly cut hair. Their bodies pressed ever tighter against each other until she could feel his hardness against her.

“I want you,” he murmured into one of their kisses, which were growing more fervent. She did not respond, simply letting him guide her to his bed. Unable to wait any longer, he picked her up with one arm and laid her down on her back.

He was fumbling with the knot tying her robes closed over her bosom when she gave him a tentative sign of resistance. They broke apart, if only by a hair’s width, with their noses still touching. She could see the hunger in his eyes, and he could see the fear in hers — though they were both fully clothed, all pretensions had fallen away, and they were naked to each other in this moment.

Neither were foolish enough to believe in love. Daemon had witnessed his brother’s disastrous fall into that trap, seen how easy it was to wield such misguided feelings as a weapon; she had been taught from the moment she was born that a woman could not and should not dream of such a luxury, and she highly doubted that a man of his reputation even had it in him to love. But this event had been so sufficiently delayed that it gave both of them reason to wonder.

“I care for you,” was all he could give her. And despite himself, he meant what he said.

“And I for you,” she uttered, willing herself to not cry.

He began again, as slowly as before, leaving a trail of kisses from her lips down to her collarbones. She untied her robes and shrugged them off, trying to suppress a moan as Daemon nibbled on the milky skin of her right shoulder. Emboldened by her obvious pleasure, the prince moved on to her supple breasts. He caught one of her pink nipples between his teeth, flicking his tongue over it and sending shivers down her spine.

She arched up against him, wordlessly urging him to give her more. The sight of her losing control beneath him brought a mischievous smirk to Daemon’s face. “Not yet, darling,” he placed a kiss just above her navel.

She threw her head back against the tent’s thick canvas wall, her hands unconsciously coming down to protect her maidenhood, but to no avail. The prince proved every bit the experienced player he was known to be, breaking through her feeble defenses to slide two slender fingers into her wetness. His thumb drew little circles atop her clit, coaxing moans to escape her throat, as he fingered her to a climax. She said his name like a plea just before he pushed her over the edge and into a bliss entirely unknown to her heretofore.

“Beautiful,” said Daemon, pushing himself up to fully take in the vision before his eyes. The wait had only made it feel all the more better when he was finally inside her. Then it was her turn to help him to come undone; digging her nails into the muscle of his back, she rocked her hips against his, as he thrust into her again and again, his movements becoming sloppier.

“Fuck!” He grunted, burying his face between her neck and her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him, their chests heaving in the intense heat of the moment. He had not pulled out in time, but Meilin had not walked willingly into a den of wolves without first learning from her mother which herb to take should the need arise. But she told herself she could worry about that later.

“Was I all that you’d hoped for, my Prince?” She asked once he’d settled into bed next to her, his head on her chest and his good arm wrapped around her stomach.

“That and more, princess,” he told her with a contented smile on his face. “And was I what you’d feared?”

“That remains to be seen,” she chuckled, stroking his hair languidly. 

“Well, then…” He hummed, half-asleep. He looked harmless and boyish in the dwindling candle light. Outside the tent, the army, down to the last man, was deep in drunken slumber, leaving the whole camp in serene silence.

"Rest now," Meilin pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You will need your strength come dawn."

————

Chapter 2 is posted here!

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?

So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....

Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....

So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.

And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”

And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”

And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”

And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.

Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.

“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.

“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”

Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”

“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 

“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.

“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”

“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 

What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?

Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 

“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”

He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”

As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 

“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”

Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.

“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”

He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”

Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”

Signal just snorts.

“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”

“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”

“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”

“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”

Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”

“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”

“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”

“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”

“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”

The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.

“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”

Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”

“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”

“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”

“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 

“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”

“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”

“You did what?”

“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”

Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.

“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”

“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.

“Plus he bribes better.”

“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”

Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”

“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”

“Its called an homage, 4chan.”

“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."

Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.

“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”

Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”

Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.

“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”

“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”

Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”

“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.

Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”

“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”

“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.

“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”

“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”

Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 

“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”

“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”

Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”

“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”

Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.

“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.

She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”

“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.

“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.

“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”

She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”

“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.

Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.

Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.

“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”

Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”

“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.

“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.

“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”

Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”

“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”

“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.

Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.

Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:

“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”

[theteasetwrites]

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

Chapter 26: Death Row

❧ Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader ❧ Era: Season 4 ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: scary situation, sickness, mild swearing, violence, typical TWD ❧ Word Count: 5k

❧ In This Chapter: A horrible illness has its grips on the inhabitants of the prison, including you. Daryl leads a mission to find medicine, but is frustrated by Bob's transgression. Near death, you are greeted by a familiar face before the Governor returns to take the prison for himself.

❧ A/N: Because last chapter was kinda dry imo (I can say that because I wrote it lol) I thought I'd spice things up by giving you guys the next chapter which is a bit more dramatic I think! Mainly because Reader gets sick and I like to see her suffer apparently. References to this song.

It started with an incessant scratching in your throat, not too long after the incident with Tyreese in D Block.

You told yourself it was from the strain you put on your voice when you were yelling at him, pleading for him to spare Daryl and Rick in his rage, but the worse it got, the more you were certain it was something else.

You separated yourself from Daryl, shutting yourself up in your cell for the rest of the day. When he came in, your entire body and head was wrapped up under the covers. You were determined to wash them later so as not to contaminate Daryl, but for now you just needed sleep. Not that you got any, though. Your body was constantly alternating between extreme heat and extreme cold, and every inch of you ached and throbbed.

Daryl kneeled down next to you. You didn’t even notice he was there until his gruff voice tore you from your frightened thoughts. “Hey,” he said, resting his hand on your blanketed shoulder. “You feelin’ okay?” There was a tinge of worry in his voice, the same tone he only used with you.

You stirred uncomfortably before realizing Daryl was so close to you. “I—I think I’m getting sick. You shouldn’t be close to me. I need to… get myself to isolation. I just—just needed to… lie down for a bit.” You panted out your words with great effort, with a few dry coughs in between.

He pulled the cover back to reveal your face. Any color you had was completely drained, and your lips and eyes were crusty with the dried out fluids leaking from them. You frowned as he looked at you with worried eyes. “I look that bad, huh?” you asked.

He shook his head, swallowing hard. “We gotta get you to Dr. S. Now.”

After being practically carried by Daryl to Cell Block A, or Death Row, as it once was known as, he laid you down on the furthest bed from the other “inmates.” In his heart of hearts, he wanted to believe you weren’t really sick, so putting you furthest away from the ones who were was his way of ensuring you wouldn’t catch what they had, though you knew you had it.

He helped change you out of your clothes and situated you in one of his own sleeveless shirts you’d been wearing to bed lately. He tried not to notice the lack of vibrancy that was usually present in your skin as he undressed you.

Laying you down, he tucked you in underneath several blankets, and then left you briefly to bring back more from your cell.

“Daryl,” you coughed, “I’m not going to need that many blankets.” You might, though. While you weren’t cold at that moment, in a few minutes you might’ve been.

“Better to have too many blankets than not enough,” he said.

You snorted, still in high enough spirits to laugh at his overprotectiveness. “I think I’m the luckiest inmate on death row,” you rasped.

Daryl looked down at you seriously. “Yeah, well you’re gettin’ outta here. I’m gonna make sure of it.” He knelt down and took your hand in his. “We had a council meeting. I figured you needed to rest so I let ya, but we’re goin’ on a supply run to get meds.” He paused for a moment to brush your hair back. “Place is a few days away, but it’s the closest chance we got.”

You nodded, looking up at him with hazy eyes. “Daryl,” you started to say, “I—I’m probably going to get worse before then. I might not even make it that long, the way it’s going.”

He shook his head. “Nah, don’t say that. You ain’t that bad.”

“No,” you agreed. “Not yet. But… didn’t you see the others? And how quickly Patrick died? He was fine one day, then that night he just… died.”

Daryl squeezed your hand tightly, his lips forming a rigid straight line and his eyebrows furrowing. “It ain’t gonna happen. Not to you. It can’t.”

“It can,” you said. “And it might.” You swallowed hard as you looked at him, his face so clear and yet so muddied with worry. “I could die. You need to know that.” Your eyes began to water.

Daryl looked down at his feet, still not entirely able to process what you were saying. “I’m gonna get ready to go. I’ll be back to say goodbye.” He kissed your forehead sweetly, despite your complaints that he shouldn’t kiss you.

When he came back, you were about to begin dozing off into an uncomfortable sleep, but the sound of the gate opening brought you back to reality. “Hey, handsome,” you croaked.

He walked towards you, kneeling down again next to you. “Brought ya somethin’,” he said, unveiling your geode in his palm and showing it to you. “Thought it would bring ya good luck while I’m gone.”

You smiled, taking the glittering geode that still shone and sparkled with the same vibrancy and magic it had that first night he cracked it open for you. Sometimes you couldn’t believe you’d been able to hold onto it for so long.

“Thank you,” you said softly. “What about yours?” you asked.

He reached into his satchel and pulled out the other smaller half. “Takin’ it with me.”

You beamed at him, your smile brightening your sallow, tired face so much it was like you weren’t even sick for just a moment or two. “Good,” you said. “It’ll remind you to come back so it can be with its other half.”

He smiled. “I will,” he said. He lowered his head and shrugged awkwardly, anticipating the vulnerable thing he was about to say. “My other half’s here, too.”

You smirked at the corny line. “You’re such a softie.”

He leaned over to kiss your cheek. It nearly burnt him with how hot it was. “You need anythin’, water or somethin’?” He asked, looking directly at your still completely filled up water from the last time he filled it for you only thirty minutes ago.

“I’m fine, Daryl. You get on the road and bring back something to help these people. And be careful.”

Daryl nodded. “I will. And when I get back, you’re the first one gettin’ that medicine in ya.”

You smiled sadly. “If I’m still here, you mean.”

He shook his head. “Nah, you’re gonna be fine. Just try to hang on.”

“I love you,” you said, afraid it would be the last time you could tell him that. “So, so, so much.”

“Love you, too. I’ll see ya soon.”

You used to think time was going by faster in this new world. Now that you were sick, it went by ten times slower.

It was the worst, most progressive sickness you’d ever experienced, and, as you predicted, it just got worse and worse with the hours passing on that slow, slow day.

There was also a shortage of doctors. Bob was a field medic in the army, but he had gone off with Daryl, Michonne, and Tyreese on the run. He was needed to identify the correct medications. Meanwhile, all you had at the prison was Dr. S and Hershel, and Dr. S had fallen sick, too.

Hershel, on the other hand, was instructed by Rick and the rest of the council not to interact with the sick. Still, he came into your cell to check up on you.

“Hershel, what are you doing in here?” you asked between coughs.

He approached your bed with a bandana mask covering his nose and mouth and a mug of some steaming liquid in his hands. “We haven’t got any medicine right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be helpful.”

He gently lifted your pillow so you could sit upright. Allowing him to maneuver you, you sat up straight and took a cautious sip of the strange berry colored brew. You were going through a cold phase, so the warmth trickling down your dry throat was a welcome relief. “What is this?”

“Elderberry tea,” he said. “Freshly picked. It’s a natural flu remedy. Helps keep the fever down.”

You nodded, taking a few more short sips of the tea and struggling to swallow with your aching throat.

“How you feelin’?” he asked.

You were silent for a moment. “The worst I’ve ever felt in my whole life,” you said, wiping the sweat from your forehead. You leaned forward to cough harshly, covering your mouth with your hand so as not to infect Hershel.

When you felt a wetness in your palm, you pulled away to reveal a spattering of red. Looking at the blood for a while, you began to tear up. “I’m going to die.”

Hershel rested a hand on your shoulder. “No, you won’t. You’ll get through this, (Y/N). Daryl will be back soon with the medicine, and that will help you. Right now, you just need to hang on.”

You shook your head, then laid yourself back down. “I’m not sure how long I can hang on,” you panted, simply out of breath from speaking.

Daryl’s group had been out for a day now. When they finally got to the veterinary college Hershel directed them to, things were going relatively smoothly.

Everyone filled up their bags with the meds and supplies that were needed to help the sick folks back at the prison. Well, everyone except Bob.

Bob had confided in Daryl that he had an alcohol problem earlier that day, and that was what got Zack killed back at the store. He picked up a bottle, then slammed it back down so hard it took the entire shelf down and brought on the walkers until the ceiling caved in.

Still, Daryl didn’t think Bob was directly responsible for his death. But when the group discovered that Bob’s bag was filled with booze instead of medicine, Daryl had a big problem.

The bag had inadvertently been flung to the ground, with the shattering of glass punctuating its fall. Daryl stepped over to the bag with a suspicion that proved to be correct. He pulled out the bottle of liquor that poked out from the opening.

“You got no meds in your bag?” he asked, looking down at the bottle, then back up at Bob seriously as he held up the alcohol. “Just this?” The rage was building up so fast he could hardly see past the blood in his eyes. In that moment, he regretted picking up Bob more than anything. “You shoulda kept walking that day.”

He was about to fling the bottle overhead into the crowd of walkers that had accumulated below them as they stood on the roof, but Bob was quick to reach for his gun. “Don’t,” he said.

Daryl approached the man with a fury he hadn’t felt since Jerome, only now he was thinking of how you might die because Bob didn’t pack any meds. Coming nose to nose with the man, Daryl took the gun from Bob’s holster and growled in his face. The man could only look down in shame.

Daryl grabbed him by his vest. “People might die ‘cause of you,” he said. “(Y/N) might die… and you killed ‘em.”

“Just let it go, Daryl,” Tyreese yelled to him. “The man’s made his choice. Nothin’ you can do about it. Just gotta let it go.”

Daryl released Bob from his iron grip, still glaring at him and breathing hard with rage.

“I didn’t wanna hurt nobody,” Bob said, still looking down. “It was just for when it gets quiet.”

Daryl shoved the bottle into his chest. “Take one sip,” he growled. “When those meds get into our people, I will beat your ass into the ground. You hear me?”

You were in and out of a restless, sweaty sleep for a day now. When you finally woke up the night after Daryl left, you struggled to breathe. It felt like your throat was closing in, but somehow you managed to keep breathing.

Maybe it was the hope that Daryl would come back to you soon and you’d be able to see him again, if only for one last time before you died. Though that was true, the more pressing matter convincing you to stay alive was the threat of the newly turned walkers crawling all over death row.

You tried with all your might to muster up some semblance of strength to fight them off as they feasted on other sick people, but you couldn’t even move your legs with how numb they were.

In an attempt to wake your aching limbs, you reached down and picked them up manually, tossing them over the side of the bed with much effort. Luckily, your cell was latched shut so the walkers couldn’t get in, but that wasn’t the same for the others.

“Everyone, stay in your cells!” you heard Hershel yell out.

Upon hearing his voice, muffled as it was, you willed the life into your legs and grabbed your knife from your bedside table. You were wheezing and breathing so heavily you thought you’d pass out from lack of oxygen, but you weren’t going to let everything fall apart more than it already had.

Unlatching your cell door with great effort, you stumbled into the center of the cell block and summoned all your strength to kill a few walkers in your path before kneeling down by Hershel as he was fighting back a walker on the ground. Raising your knife shakily, you plunged the knife into the back of the walker’s head.

Falling backwards, you lost consciousness.

In and out of an intense fever dream, you saw Hershel’s aged face hovering over you. “(Y/N),” he said repeatedly. The next thing you felt was the soft but firm mattress you’d come to know so well underneath you, the sound of the springs echoing in your head. “Stay put,” Hershel instructed you.

Your vision blurred and soon you were seeing double. When Hershel left your frame of vision, you closed your eyes and could only hear the sounds of snarling and occasional gunshots in the distance. You tossed your head back and forth, trying desperately to stay awake.

Between coughing up blood all over yourself and sweating profusely, your entire face and body were soaked. When brief flashes of Daryl’s face popped into your line of sight, you tried to speak but physically couldn’t, only emanating a rattling sound that you couldn’t even hear. You did, however, catch Daryl’s voice and his lips saying something to you, but it came out so muffled you didn’t even process it.

Throughout the strange poking and prodding in your arm and the insertion of a tube down your throat, you swore you heard your brother’s voice calling out to you. It wasn’t muffled like the voices of Daryl and Hershel, it was clear as a bell. At first you couldn’t see him, but then he appeared when you closed your eyes.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he said to you. “I’ve been wondering where you were.”

You tossed your head in a daze, your eyes still closed so you could see him. “I’ve been here,” you mumbled, your voice hoarse and scratchy. “Been here…”

He smiled brightly at you, that same smile he always had. He was always so damn positive. You used to hate it when you were a teenager, but when you grew up his optimism became infectious. You smiled a little back at him, just a slight upturn of the corners of your lips. It was all you could manage, but for him you’d do it.

“You’re dying, (Y/N).”

You heard a muffled shouting of your name. Your eyes didn’t open again for a while as you felt a numbness flow throw your body. You tried to speak but your mouth couldn’t even open. It was like you lost control of everything in one split second, but you could still somehow see that bright face beaming at you.

“You’re dying, but you can’t—not now. Your people need you… I need you.” His face turned serious.

Every sense left you, but you could still hear that muffled scream calling out to you, crying with so much sorrow and helplessness.

“Do you remember that song Grandma used to play? You know, on that old record player at their old house… what was it called…” He thought for a moment.

A sudden jolt of life sparked within you. Your senses returned to you gradually as you heard the melody of that old song in your head, and you felt the aged skin of your grandmother’s hand twirling you around slowly as you danced with her, your older brother looking on and watching the two of you with an amused smile. “We—We’ll… Meet Again,” you mumbled quietly. “Vera… Lynn… some… sunny day.”

He smiled. “That’s right, you always did have a better memory.” You felt the slightest sensation of a familiar hand holding your face. “We’ll meet again,” he echoed. “Don’t know where, don’t know when. But I know we’ll meet again— some sunny day…”

His voice trailed off, and his visage disappeared. You moaned in confusion, repeating his name under your breath.

“(Y/N),” a gruff voice called out to you, much clearer now than before. “(Y/N)?”

Your eyelids struggled to lift, but slowly the dim light from the lantern filled your eyes. Suddenly, you found yourself gasping for air. Your eyes now wide open, only taking in the bottom of the bunk above you, you felt a horrible hard plastic tube snaking down your throat.

“Jesus, what’s happening?!” Daryl asked Hershel urgently.

Hershel sat himself down next to you and began pumping air into you with the bag attached to the tube. “She’s catching her breath again. The medicine’s kicking in.”

When you could breathe steadily again, you drifted off into another fever dream, barely able to even comprehend your brief bout of consciousness.

Your eyes fluttered open naturally sometime later. Your body ached still, but much less, and your fever had reduced significantly. Even your throat was much less on fire than it had been. You had no idea how long you were out, but you didn’t have that horrible tube in your throat, so you counted yourself lucky.

“(Y/N).” You heard Daryl’s gruff voice come from beside you. Turning your head, you laid eyes on him sitting right next to you, your hand held tightly in his. He beamed at you, his teeth peeking out from behind his slightly open lips. “You’re awake.”

You smiled at him hazily. “Mmm,” you hummed as he brushed your cheek with his hand. “How long was I asleep?” You looked down and noticed the IV in your arm.

“Ever since I got back last night.”

“You got the medicine?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I got it, baby.”

You squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

“Daryl saved your life last night,” Hershel said as he hobbled into the cell on his makeshift leg. “Thought you were gone when he got to you, then moved like a bat out of hell to get that medicine in you. Before it kicked in, we almost lost you. He got back just in time.”

Daryl looked down at your hand in his and blushed at the praise from Hershel. You looked at him in awe. “How bad was I?”

Daryl met your gaze. “You uh, stopped breathin’ at one point. Had to put a tube down ya.” Daryl gestured to his neck and mimicked the position of the tube.

“Then the meds kicked in and reduced your fever,” Herschel added. “Now you should be able to fight the infection.”

“Thank you, Hershel,” you said.

“Like I said,” he shrugged, “Daryl saved you. I was just supervising.”

The old man left to go check on the others, namely Glenn and Sasha who had also been infected.

Daryl kept a hold of your hand for so long you thought you’d lose feeling in it, but the warmth was always there.

“You uh… said some weird stuff just before you almost—” He couldn’t even say the word. He shook the thoughts from his head.

“What did I say?” You knew you had a tendency to talk in your sleep, but you couldn’t even imagine what you were saying in your near-death stupor.

“Somethin’ like… we’ll meet again, some sunny day, I don’ know.”

You smiled. “Really?”

He laughed a little. “Yeah,” he smirked at you. “Woulda thought it was cute if I wasn’t shittin’ myself thinkin’ I was losin’ you.”

You squeezed his hand again and brought it up to your lips, leaving a small kiss there. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The two of you were silent for a while, just looking at each other in complete awe of one another. “That was an old song, We’ll Meet Again,” you said, breaking the comfortable silence. “My grandma used to play it for us a lot, me and my brother. My grandpa fought in World War II, and that song helped her get through it.”

Daryl looked at you sweetly. “Did he come back?”

You nodded your head, careful not to nod too harshly for fear of your still fragile head falling off. “He did,” you said. “If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been born.”

“Glad he came back, then.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

“Me too.”

Daryl carried you back to your cell after getting the go-ahead from Hershel. You made one complaint about the bed not being as comfortable, so he didn’t hesitate to relocate you, being sure to bring both halves of your precious geode with you.

When the explosion hit a few hours later, you were still in bed.

Daryl was in the tombs with Rick and Tyreese, and he stopped by your cell to make sure you were okay.

“Daryl, what was that?” you asked, now on your feet and getting dressed, albeit dizzily.

“I dunno,” he said. “You stay here. We’re gonna check it out.”

You shook your head. “No, I’m going with you.” You strapped your knife, your handgun, and your axe to your belt before slinging your rifle over your shoulder.

You began to head out of the cell, but you remembered your geode. Tossing your half into the deep pocket of your jean jacket, you followed Daryl and Rick out to the fence.

Meeting up with the others, you saw a line of cars parked outside the furthest fence, with a giant military tank in the center. You could see several figures between the cars, and one on top of the tank that looked familiar.

“Rick!” he called out. “Come down here, we need to talk.”

The Governor.

There was suspicion that he was still alive. Michonne had even gone out almost everyday looking for him for the past five months. Still, there wasn’t ever any concrete evidence to indicate he was still around, until now.

“It’s not up to me!” Rick yelled back. “There’s a council now. They run this place.”

“Is Hershel on the council?” the Governor asked.

Your eyes widened when they brought out Hershel, the sweet old man who’d helped you and your people so much in the last year and a half, who you'd seen in the prison only hours earlier.

“What about Michonne?” the vile man continued. They brought her out next and forced her and Hershel to kneel down together, both of them with their hands tied. “You’re making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here, let’s—let’s have that talk.”

Rick went down by the outer fence to talk to him, and Daryl stood by you and the others. “We can’t take ‘em all on,” he said. “We’ll go through the admin building through the woods like we planned. We ain’t got the numbers no more.”

Daryl moved a large bin full of weapons over to your group, and handed out a gun to everyone. You kept your rifle ready to shoot, letting the barrel poke through one of the holes in the chain link fence. Daryl stood beside you, also holding a gun ready to fire while Rick spoke to the Governor.

Between the distance and the stuffiness of your sinuses, you couldn’t hear anything they said, which made the anticipation so much worse. Just looking at his small army, they’d be able to wipe you all out in a second, but not without a fight.

“Things go south,” Daryl whispered to you, “you stay close to me. All times. Don’t wanna get separated.”

You swallowed hard, the midday sun beating down on you, causing you to sweat even more than you already were from your illness. “Okay,” you said simply.

When the Governor jumped down from the tank and was handed Michonne’s katana, your heart started racing. Even more so when he held the katana to Hershel’s neck. “Oh, God,” you said under your breath. You could hear Maggie and Beth crying near you.

After a few minutes, he swung the sword swiftly, lodging its blade in the middle of Hershel’s neck so that his head was still attached but halfway separated.

Your heart sank to the pit of your stomach. You didn’t cry, you were too enraged.

Rick shouted in fury and anguish, then fired the first shot, shooting the Governor in his arm. You all followed suit, shooting at the militia.

Despite your best efforts, the Governor advanced, sending the tank through your fence and ripping it down so quickly it made everything you worked so hard for seem worthless, like it could all be destroyed so effortlessly.

It was over, you knew it.

You and Daryl got in several kills, but it wasn’t enough to stop that tank. When you couldn’t fire anymore, you turned to him with a frightened look. “I’m out of ammo!” you yelled over the gunfire.

Just then, the tank began firing, bursting holes into the walls of the prison behind you. Daryl threw his body over yours and protected you from any shrapnel. “Get to the bus!” he yelled. “Now!”

It was the escape bus at the back of the prison. It was always stocked full of supplies, and ready to go in case of something like this. You shook your head wildly. “Not without you!” you cried. You knew Daryl would stay to the last possible second, and so would you. “I’m not leaving you.”

The tank burst through the last fence, the one closest to the prison. At this point, there were several gaping holes blown into the walls of the prison where the rest of your people were. If the Governor was planning on taking the prison for himself, he let his rage get in the way since it was worthless now.

You stood next to Daryl, both hid behind the filing cabinets you used as a barricade. You were able to snag another automatic rifle, but your ammo was running out quickly. When a walker snuck up behind you, you shot the thing immediately before it could take a bite out of Daryl, who was more or less preoccupied with the army trying to take you out.

Realizing you wouldn’t be able to stay there much longer, an idea popped into your head as you looked down at the corpse and Daryl kept firing. You jammed a stray piece of rebar through the walker’s skull, keeping the other end jutting out its back diagonally so you could use it as a kind of meat shield. “Daryl!” you yelled out to him. “Come on!”

He looked at you quickly before sending you behind him as he held the walker shield in place, using his one free hand to grab your arms and wrap them around his waist. “Hold on to me!” he yelled, beginning to walk forward towards the tank with the walker corpse held tightly in front of both of you. A rain of bullets started bursting through the walker, but it was thick enough to stop them before they hit Daryl.

You couldn’t see anything past Daryl and the walker, but you did see Daryl pull out a grenade and release the clip. “Grenade!” you heard the Governor’s men cry out as Daryl launched it at them. You ducked behind him when the pressure of the explosion reverberated through you.

With the men now thinning down, Daryl threw the corpse aside. “You all right?” he asked. You nodded and backed him up, shooting at the walkers swarming around you both and you tried to make your way out.

Passing by the tank, he tossed another grenade into the barrel of the tank, all the while holding your hand and pulling you with him. He wasn’t kidding when he said “stay close at all times.”

When the last man rolled out of the tank, Daryl pointed his crossbow at him. He raised his hands in surrender, but Daryl opted to shoot him in the heart instead of letting him go.

As you stood behind Daryl, you turned around at the sound of footsteps running towards you both. It was Beth, running frantically with a gun in her hands. “(Y/N)!” she yelled, slowing down as she approached you. You took her hand in yours. “I was trying to find the kids to get them on the bus,” she panted.

You shook your head. “The bus left. Everyone’s gone.”

Daryl looked at the walkers coming towards you, then back to you and Beth. “We gotta go,” he said simply. “We gotta go.” He took your hand in his, and the three of you left on foot, with the remains of your former home left to the inhabitance of the dead.

~

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[idonthaveanyurlideas]

sorry if this has been asked before but i'd love to know your process for creating animatics. not only are they so incredibly fluid and perfect to the music but they're COLORED! absolutely inspiring. i'd love to know what you do for planning and editing, basically how to put an animatic together in general. i use procreate to make art but other than that i'm completely clueless on how to make animatics

ooooh okay i would LOVE to tell you!!!! So first things first I will say that my animatic process is probably not the most like. Efficient way to do it. I'm not an artistic expert and I'm very self-taught so this is just what I've come up with over the years with the resources I had.

This has ended up VERY long so I'm sticking a read more in

All that to say I have two main programs that I use, one to draw (Medibang Paint Pro) and one to put the frames together for my animatics (Davinci Resolve). These days, I have both of these programs on my laptop so I have everything on one device. Before I had my current laptop, I used Medibang Paint on my iPad and iMovie on my laptop, but the overall process is basically the same.

So. I have five main stages of making an animatic once I have a song and a character/narrative in mind.

Stage 0 is arguably the most important stage, which is deciding it's something I for real want to do. Making an animatic is a big commitment, so it has to be something im 100% on board with or I'll get bored before I finish it. So usually when I hear a song and I think "oh I can apply that to x character" I'll have to listen to that song on repeat for at least a few weeks just to iron out the story in my head, decide what moment I'm going to put with each lyric, basically plot out the narrative internally.

This stage is a bit different for every animatic. For some of them, like the Snackrifice as an example, I heard the song for the very first time and went: i know EXACTLY how this is going to go and then I went home and started planning it out immediately. Others, like Aequitas Aug, I had the song as a vague "oh this is Coin vibes" for months before Expansion Era ended and I finally knew I had all the material I would need for a full cohesive narrative. And then a bit longer to really decide "okay so the redactions are going to be at this point, the semicentennial will be at This moment" and so on.

I have a whole playlist full of songs that I COULD make into animatics that I vibe to on a regular basis, basically marinating them until I have enough content and ideas to start actually planning them out into an animatic.

Stage 1 is scripting it out: I write out all the lyrics of the song, count up how many beats correspond to each line, and plan out what I'm going to do with each section. As an example here's a portion of my script for Miguel's first animatic Autoignition. As you can see my script is often pretty loose and jokey at myself, because I already kinda know what I want it to look like by the time I start scripting it, this is just to get it down for pacing and to fill in any gaps.

[Image ID: Screenshot of white writing on a dark background. There are eight lines, alternating between bolded writing to signify planned action, and regular writing to signify the lyrics of the song Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic. Line 1, in bold: Uh oh Zack is fallin into fire and hell and disintegrating ur gonna earn that content warning. Line 2, regular: And you don't have to make a Line 3: Miguel left alone at edge of Solarium :) fire everywhere :) big f Line 4: Sound 'Cause they got what you Line 5: Miguel falls to her knees for a moment, stunned. Line 6: Need. What you need Line 7: Then he runs away Line 8: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh /end ID]

Stage 2 I do my actual draft. I do every frame as a very quick sketch. This stage is where I put all my frames into Divinci Resolve and match it all up to the beats of the song. I work out my timings, I figure out if I need to add/delete frames somewhere. The majority of the fiddly work happens here in terms of lining it all up to the music. All the frames look about as basic as this lmao the idea is Quick and To the point so i get can idea of what I'm working with. Very often I'll have figures in this draft stage where, as an example, I know I'll need to put players from the Flowers or the Dale from a certain point in time, but I haven't decided exactly who yet, so they're just vague humanoid blobs.

[Image ID: A very basic sketch with black lines on a white background, showing two figures facing away from the camera with loose lines showing the ground exploding in the distance. /end ID]

Stage 3 is Lineart, and this stage takes the longest because I'm actually doing the proper drawings for everything. I don't do colouring yet, because this stage takes so Long and I prefer to do my colouring all in one go so I can keep it consistent. it also allows me to catch any errors that I might make in my Lineart because I get to go over it again when I colour. This is where I make my final decisions on who all the extra characters are that show up that don't Really need to be there.

When it comes to deciding Who Gets To Appear in the Animatic, there are a few tiers.

Characters that NEED to be there for plot/emotional reasons (think like Nagomi Mcdaniel appearing in Alaynabella because Layna switched with her for the Shadows)

Characters that I want to put in there for theme reasons (think Luis Acevedo in Hall Stars, I included them as a cameo because they were later incinerated and the whole animatic was about incinerated players)

Characters that I like/my friends like (Esme and Howell making appearances at the start of Aequitas Aug)

Characters that are just easier to draw, depending on how many times I have to draw them and how tired I am at the time (when in doubt, I tend to default to humanoid characters with reasonably simple designs. If I'm like 400 frames in on Aequitas Aug and I have to choose between horse person Winnie Hess and regular human Eizabeth Guerra to help represent the Breath Mints getting got, I'm gonna go with Eizabeth even if Winnie is technically more iconic and recognisable.)

[Image ID: Lineart of a digital drawing showing Miguel James and Zack Sanders as humans, facing away from the camera and looking towards the ground exploding in the distance. Miguel is kneeling on the ground while Zack is standing. /end ID]

And so of course Stage 4 is Colour. I add in the colours, any lighting effects, all the extra fun bits.

My colouring is USUALLY pretty basic, to save time and effort. For colours that I tend to reuse a lot (typically sunbeams uniforms and the main colours for the various beams) I have them saved in my paint app so I can access them easily. For other players I've drawn before I usually have to bring up one of my previous drawings to reference the colours. Backgrounds are the bane of my existence and as thus are usually kept as simple as possible, and lighting is typically something I use sparingly. Basically, I take as many shortcuts as I possibly can to save my sanity.

[Image ID: The above picture but with basic colour. The background is a pale orange. There are some lighting effects on the explosion. /end ID]

And voila! Off to Youtube. Like I said above, I'm sure this isn't the quote unquote 'Best' way to do it. But it works for me, and doing it in these stages give me a fun little progress video to look back on when I'm slogging through the lineart stage.

It's definitely really tedious at times, and keeping up the motivation to do hundreds of frames three times in a row can be really difficult (especially with a full time job) but it's definitely sooooo exciting when I finally finish. I publish all the draft and lineart videos on youtube as well as unlisted videos, and its always fun to look back on them to see the difference between the draft and the final finished product.

Most of all though, it took me AGES to get to the point of animatic making where I am now. My very first animatics for Dimension 20 were SO different to what I do now, and I was very lucky for a while to have a lot of free time to focus on doing it a lot. My VERY first animatic wasn't even set to a song. It was from a Fantasy High clip, and i never got past the draft stage for it.

The other part of animatic making that I had to start taking really seriously was character design credit. For Quite a while, I did not include credits for designs of players that I did not create. It wasn't until Aequitas Aug (which had an OBSCENE number of players) that I realised what a massive oversight that was. Nowadays I have a big spreadsheet that lists every Blaseball player that has ever appeared in my animatics and the creator of the design that I used/riffed off of if I could narrow it down to one or two. For some players its trickier, often because their design was consistent over multiple artists or I couldn't be sure what the origin was, but I do my best to be as accurate as possible. If you're looking to make some blaseball animatics, I totally encourage you to do so, but I would advise getting on top of credits sooner rather than later! It's so much easier to add in new characters and their designers now as I find them rather than trying to backtrack and remember exactly which picture on the wiki I took inspiration from, along with it being a lot more respectful to all the other amazing artists in the fandom.

Overall, animatics are a lot of effort, but they're soooo worth it. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me, I love to talk about my animatics and my process.

[djarinbarnes]

Silent Night - Bucky Barnes

THIS IS A DARK FIC. IF YOU’RE UNDER 18, PLEASE DNI.

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Author: Dina

Word Count: roughly 15k

Pairing: Dark!Bucky Barnes x innocent(?)!female reader

Warnings: dark!bucky, dark!fic, 18+, loss of virginity, dubcon, noncon (to be safe), smut, age gap (18 and 36), pwp, unprotected sex, male masturbation, abuse of power, anal sex, somnophilia, anal play, toys, drugging, forced oral, spitting, slapping, slight bondage... a whole lot of things.

Summary: Bucky has always put his best friend’s daughter first. She’s like the niece he never had. He’s recently become more and more infatuated with her, and when he sees a window of opportunity, he decides to act upon it.

A/N: Well damn, here it is! This is a long one 😇 Some of you have read this before, but now it has been rewritten and finished ♡

For Kaley, Sab, Gracie and Nahema. I wouldn’t have finished this without you ♡

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Dear diary.

This is the story of how I really lost my virginity. I know that no one is going to see this, but I figured writing about it would make it seem better. Easier.

It’s something I’ve been reluctant to share with anybody until now. A lot of things have happened since I wrote to you last. You’ve heard about this man before.

He’s been my father’s best friend for years. Since they were boys. Best man at my parent’s wedding, there in the waiting room the day I was born, present at every birthday party since then. Giving me presents, treating me with so much love.

Uncle Bucky, as he’d come to be named in our family, had watched me grow up and I was his princess. The niece he never had. He showered me with everything a little girl could wish for. We had secrets. It was just something that was shared between the two of us.

But once I turned eighteen, something changed in Bucky. His fondness of me turned into an obsession. I felt it like a pendulum changing its magnetic attraction point. Every time he was over at our house, he would become distracted.

I’ve known all along what made him distracted. It was something I reveled in. But he knew he couldn’t do anything while my dad was around. So, he came up with a plan to get me alone.

Friday, 3:21pm

Going away with Bucky for the weekend as a graduation present seemed like everything she had hoped for. She would finally be free from her parents, even if it was only a weekend. She made her way around her room cheerily, throwing some random pieces of clothing along with her bathing suit, a towel and some toiletries into her bag, feeling her stomach jump slightly.

When Bucky had given her a weekend getaway to his lake house as a graduation present last week, she had been overjoyed. Finally, she had the chance to feel a little bit alive, since her parents hadn’t let her celebrate graduation with her classmates.

A gift from your favorite uncle! Had been scrawled into the card in Bucky's messy handwriting. She just knew he’d been standing at the florists, greasy hands stuffed in his pockets, nervously buying 18 red roses for her. Bucky had always made sure she had everything. He was her dad's coolest friend, and he would spoil her as much as he could.

It hadn't taken a lot of persuasion from her side to let her parents agree to hang out with Bucky for a weekend. He'd babysat her before when she was younger, but it was different now that she’d turned 18. The rules they had set were minimum, but they were there. No drinking, no nothing they wouldn’t do. A little more loose than usual, but she appreciated it, nonetheless.

Her parents, Steve and Peggy, had grown uptight over the last few years, and everything was about keeping her safe and keeping boys away from her. There was always an excuse as to why she couldn’t go to a party or why she couldn’t go on a date with Peter, the guy she had been studying with at school.

Peter was a good kid; she knew that much. He never tried anything with her, and always held back when she would flirt with him during their study sessions at the library. Even that one time she’d tried to hold his hand, he’d shrugged her off and excused himself for the day.

She never figured out why he didn’t want her affection, but she found out soon after, when she saw him kiss his best friend just after the graduation ceremony. It’d hurt – a lot – but she figured it was for the better. A day didn’t even pass before she was laughing at her obliviousness.

This year, when she’d finally turned 18, she’d hoped that everything would settle down with her parents and they’d loosen the restraints on her, but she was wrong. Apparently now, there was even more reason for keeping her home and away from boys. She figured they were afraid of her getting knocked up or something along the lines of that.

The only man she’d see on a regular basis out of school was Uncle Bucky. He and her father would always be working on their motorcycles in front of the garage, and she would watch them from her window on the first floor. She’d found her window to be a great place to keep an eye on them – on him.

She knew that Bucky worked out a lot and put a lot of effort into looking good on a daily basis, but there was just something captivating about him when his hands were covered in grease, strands of his hair falling from the half bun at the back of his head, the sweat glistening on his skin in the sun. He was attractive. And very much so.

If he was only ten years younger and not her father’s best friend, she would’ve been more than interested in him. Well, she was interested… But she knew that her father wouldn’t ever allow something like it, let alone… No. It just wasn’t happening.

Detaching herself from her train off thoughts and zipping up her weekend bag, she heard a car honk from the driveway. She made her way over to the window and a smile spread across her face as she saw Bucky’s sleek, black convertible pull up. She hurried over to her bag, making sure she had everything before nearly jumping down the stairs to get out of the house.

“Bye dad! Bye mom!” she yelled just as she pushed open the door, making her way to Bucky who was now leaning against the hood of his car. When he noticed her approaching, he pushed his body off the hood and opened his arms for her, letting her run into his warm embrace with a giggle. A muttered hi was shared between the two of them before he pulled away, walking around the hood to open the car door for her.

Giving her bag to Bucky before he shut the passenger door made her stomach flutter slightly. She hears the trunk opening and closing, and when he slides into the driver’s seat beside her and pulls out of the driveway, he's already telling jokes and making her laugh.

It was gonna be a fun weekend, she expected that much. She had great plans.

Friday, 4:02pm

Arriving at his lake house had her eyes widening. It was like a whole new house. There had been added an extension to the main house since she was here last summer, and the front porch had been painted white. Bucky parked the car, and she threw open the door of the car, getting out in one fluid motion.

"Wow! This is amazing Bucky!" she smiled at him as they both ventured up the stairs to his front porch. Bucky unlocked the door and they both stepped into the house. She’s taken aback once again.

"This is so much neater than the last time I was here!"

The whole place has been fully renovated, and there's newer, modern furniture complimenting the freshly painted walls. She admires the giant painting on the furthest wall and remembers the unfinished canvas that had been sitting untouched in one of her parent’s rooms last year.

“He finished it.” She smiled and stepped closer to it, admiring the thick, colorful paint strokes upon the black background. She heard Bucky’s footsteps behind her, trailing back through his house.

"Check out the view." She hears Bucky's voice from somewhere in the kitchen. She places her bag on one of the chairs in the living room, walking over to the glass sliding doors that lead out to the back garden, and she bursts out into a smile.

The lake you once had to walk through trees to get to, is now visible from where she’s standing. The belt of trees has been cut down, and the trunks has been dug up. She could see further than ever. She could even see the water supply tower that showed where the city began. If she squinted, she could see her parents’ backyard.

"This is incredible! I wish we lived here," she sighed and turned to find Bucky standing in the doorway. If she’d known of the way Bucky’s heart had thumped in his chest at her revelation, her smile would fall immediately. She internally begged to whomever, that Bucky hadn’t noticed her say we. Instead, he spoke up about something else.

"You still have to see the new amenities." A smile tugged on Bucky's lips.

"What amenities?" He knew she’d love what he’d installed for her, and only her. She’d talked about it for weeks on end the past five summers, and during the winter he’d finally found the time and materials to fulfill her dreams.

"The pool." his eyes glinted with something near mischief. Her eyes widened along with her smile.

"You have a pool? That's amazing!" Just the reaction he’d hoped for. He loved it when she lit up like fairy lights, her eyes filling with glee. It made his heartbeat faster in his chest.

"Did you bring your suit?" she didn't know if she heard it right, but it seemed that his voice had dropped an octave. She nodded as she grabbed her bikini out of her bag, making her way to the newly renovated bathroom to change.

Bucky watched her as she with a giggle made her way through his house, her arms wrapped around her form to shield her nakedness from the older man, who subtly tried to not look at her. “You’re not joining me?” her innocent voice filled his ears and he shut his eyes tightly before turning just a bit away from her.

“No, I’ve got some things to do. Maybe later.” His eyes quickly came up as he heard the sliding door open, watching her ass as she made her way from the patio door to the point where she descended the built-in stairs into the newly built pool.

He felt his cock twitch in his pants, the sight of her in her skimpy purple bikini was making the blood flow to his cock at an undeniable speed. He watched as her shoulders shuddered before she dived under water, her perky ass just caressing the surface from below.

He clenched his jaw before turning on his heel, the image of her half naked body burned into his retina. He needed to get it out of his system, and he needed to do it fast. He knew that there was no way he would ever forget what he had just seen, but either way he had to do something about the situation in his pants.

Making his way into the bathroom nearest the pool, he quickly unbuckled his pants and shoved both them and his underwear down to his thighs. His cock sprung free, slapping against his stomach, hard and proud and he spat into his hand before gripping it tightly, letting out a strangled groan.

"Fuck yes, god you're such a fucking tease..." his head rolled back as he moved his hand, keeping a tight grip around the shaft, imagining her lithe body taking his cock, all of his cock. “Bet you know what you’re doing to me. Bet you know how I feel about you.” His last words were followed by a groan.

The veins pulsated beneath his fingers as he let his head fall forward and he opened his eyes, watching as he fucked into his hand. He saw her body before him, drenched in the cool water of the pool, goosebumps rising on her skin, and he let out another strangled groan, god, he was so close.

It was unlike any time he’d ever jerked off to the vision of her. It was intensified – by powers he didn’t know where from. Maybe it was from her being close. So close he could reach out and claim her as his – just like he’d always wanted to.

He felt the well-known tightening in this scrotum, this time so powerful they drove tears to his eyes. God – he wanted her so badly it hurt. Yet, he had to restrain himself for the time being, he thought, as the movements of his hand picking up speed and he sucked in a breath just as he felt the surge of euphoria overcome him, and-

"Oh my god, Bucky I'm so sorry!"

Friday, 4:43pm

The air that hits her when she emerges from the water is cold. She’s shivering as she throws her arms around herself, making her way up the stairs and inside the house.

She has no idea where Bucky went, so light on her toes, arms trying to warm her torso, she makes her way to the nearest bathroom to take a warm shower. Her teeth are clattering, her frame littered with goosebumps as she trod lightly through the slightly warmer house.

She stops on one foot when she hears a sound, a sound that resembles a moan an awful lot. It can’t be. She approaches the half-open door cautiously, thinking her next move over at least a thousand times before she finally gives in and pushes the door open wider, making her halt completely.

There, in all his glory is Bucky, touching himself for whomever may have walked in to see. That whomever being her. She lets out a shriek before turning her back to him. “Oh my god, Bucky I’m so sorry!” She squeezes her eyes shut tightly, the embarrassment warming up her body quickly as she hears a rustling of clothes behind her.

She silently prays that he isn’t mad at her for walking in on such an intimate moment for him. It lit something inside of her, though, seeing him all hot and bothered for her. Everything that she’s ever imagined about him was definitely an understatement. She hears his footsteps behind her and soon after the heat radiating off his chest against her back, before he speaks up.

“Don’t worry about it,” His voice is so deep she can barely recognize it. “The bathroom is all yours.”

She locks eyes with him as he walks past her, his pupils blown wide like she’s never seen them before. She wraps her arms tighter around herself, trying to cover up from his prying eyes. She nods her head slightly before turning on her heel, walking into the bathroom.

She makes sure the door is locked behind her before she strips herself of her bikini, making sure to hang them to dry on the small, heated towel rack, before finding a towel under the sink where he usually keeps them.

The shower she takes is as long as it usually would take, only now her thoughts are occupied with flashes of Bucky touching himself. Why was he touching himself? Her mind wanders to who the reason could be. She knew he’d had a girlfriend named Natasha once – she was beautiful and had lips like the fullest, reddest cherry – she looked like every man’s wet dream.

She also knew from photos that he’d had a long-time girlfriend in high school through college named Dot – brunette and curvy and with the prettiest facial features she’d ever laid her eyes upon – all the women she had known Bucky to date were so beautiful, he could only think of either them or some hot porn stars he’d probably seen online.

But why now while she was here? Her eyes rolled back as she let out a whimper, her fingers gliding between her smooth, velvet lips, the vision of his hand gliding along the smooth skin of his cock letting her imagination run wild.

Her eyes went wide when she realized what she was doing, and she quickly retracted her fingers from where she now felt a certain warmth spread. She let out a deep sigh as she rested her head against the wall of the shower, the warm water still cascading down her back, heating her freezing limbs.

She finished her shower reluctantly before drying herself off, groaning inwardly as she realized she’d forgotten to bring clean panties and even clean clothes with her to the bathroom in the furry of awkward seconds between her and Bucky. She went over the possibilities she had in her head before searching the bathroom, letting out a small yes! when she found one of Bucky’s clean shirts in one of the small cabinets.

Thinking he didn’t mind, she slipped it over her head and vowed to herself to apologize to him when she saw him next. The shirt felt way too comfortable than it should have, and it instantly warmed her torso, before she pulled it down as far as it would go, just below the apex of her thighs.

She let out a sigh before unlocking the door, listening for a few second to hear where Bucky was located in the house. She heard the washing machine click open and she closed her eyes with another sigh, leaving the safe perimeters where she wouldn’t face embarrassment.

Tiptoeing through the hallway, she made her way into the living room to locate her bag. It felt so wrong to walk around Bucky’s house sin panties. She hears steel clashing in the laundry room, startling her. She lets out a small huff of air before pulling out a pair of lace panties from her bag, before sliding them on under the long shirt.

She’s shuffling through her bag when she’s once again startled by Bucky, this time by his voice.

“You’re wearing my shirt.” She whips around quickly with a small yelp, lace bra and t-shirt in hand. Her eyes widen as she realizes what she’s holding, quickly swinging her hands behind her back to hide the garments. He sees them, though, and it relights his fire even more vigorously than before.

“Shit, Bucky.” She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding as she relaxed under his intense stare. “I’m sorry, I’d forgotten to bring clean clothes with me to the bathroom. I’ll go change right now.” she turns back to her bag to find a pair of pants, laying the garments already in her hand on the couch.

She tenses when she feels a body behind her; a set of hands sliding up her hips, thumbs tracing the outline of her panties over the fabric of her-Bucky’s shirt. She knows his eyes are watching her like a vulture, taking in her legs extending from where his shirt stops, surely imagining what’s hidden underneath. Her breaths come out shaky and she gulps down the lump that has formed in her throat before her eyes flutter closed.

His nose finds its way into her hair, inhaling deeply before exhaling again, his fingers now venturing under the shirt she’s wearing. She feels some kind of warmth spreading where his fingertips graze her skin, just over the fabric of her panties resting on her hip. It’s like his fingers are fire and her hips are timbers – only waiting to be alighted.

“You know…” his voice is still low, just as it was when she encountered him in the bathroom. “I’ve been having a hard time ignoring the looks you’ve sent me.” His fingers slide smoothly from her hip to the middle of her abdomen, slowly tracing small, imaginary circles on her stomach. She shudders under his touch as it brings warmth into her core, and she’s biting her lip to keep a whimper from escaping them.

Bucky was right. She couldn’t deny that she was attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? He was handsome, funny and so undeniably nice. She wasn’t sure that the attraction she’d felt towards Bucky for the past few years was reciprocated. She was definitely sure now, that his fingertips we’re playing with the hem of her panties.

“Bucky…” Her eyes flutter open as her hand clasps over his, halting his movements from traveling further south. She turns in his arms, facing him, finally taking in his lust blown eyes, his parted lips and the light blush adorning his cheeks. He looks angelic. Young. It makes her heart leap in her chest.

“Tell me you don’t feel it. Tell me this isn’t just something I’m imagining.” His half-lidded eyes search hers in an attempt to ground himself. His right arm comes around her middle to pull her closer, her hands coming up to lay against his chest. She feels the arousal radiating off him. Warmth, and a little further south, hardness.

“Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.” His face nears hers, and she feels her heart hammering in her chest. Her breath hitches in her throat when she feels his lips caress hers gently. Just a small graze of soft skin against soft skin, his stubble tickling her chin and his hand tightening its hold on her shirt.

It’s cliché to say that she feels fireworks as his lips grazes hers – maybe from the fact that she’s closer to any man other than her father for the first time, or that she’s just been kissed for the first time. The whole thing is making her head spin, and in that moment, she knows what she has to do.

“We can’t. Not yet,” She breathes out, letting her eyes flutter shut. She feels his warm breath fanning over her lips, the arm around her waist going slack and a deep sigh emitting from Bucky’s throat. He was just about to pull away from her when she grips his shirt in her hands.

“I’m sorry Bucky. I just… You’re my dad’s best friend. I could never look him in the eyes again if we…” she trails off, the embarrassment overcoming her. She looks up at him, eyes glossy from the whirlwind of feelings clashing inside of her. “I’ve never… He’s so strict. I’m sorry if I led you on in any way. I’m not used to male attention.”

Bucky lets out a heartless laugh, taking a step back and brushing her hands off him as if their encounter had never happened. His actions confuse her. He surely must have seen the emotional turmoil she just went through?

“You want burger for dinner? I bought this sauce that’s great with the minced beef.” He turns on his heel and leaves the room without saying anything else. Her brows furrows at his behavior. What the fuck just happened? He leaves her dumbfounded in the living room, her confused eyes following his back until he disappears behind a wall.

In the kitchen, Bucky has pulled out everything he needed to make dinner. His jaw tightens as he goes over her refusal yet again. She’s never what? was his first thought. Then all the pieces clicked when she’d said the next sentence. I’m not used to male attention.

Of course, he knew that she had never been with a guy, let alone a man. Her father told him more than enough, and it made a sinister smile spread along his face, as another branch in his plans takes form.

He will get what he wants.

Friday, 6:32pm

She had expected dinner to be an awkward affair. For her it certainly was – but it seemed like nothing had happened just a few hours before on Bucky’s account. He appeared completely unfazed by his previous actions, and it made her shudder, sitting across from him, picking at her burger. She hears his cutlery hit the plate and her eyes shoot up, seeing the empty plate where his burger had been resting less than five minutes prior.

“So, I’m thinking we have some things to talk about.” His voice startles her, since they had eaten in almost complete silence, the only sound during dinner was the cutlery and chewing.

“What things?” she felt nervous as the words left her mouth, letting her gaze fall back to the burger on her plate. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. She’d been cooped up in his study since their encounter in the living room, not ready to face him until she had to.

“Firstly, what happened in the bathroom.” Her eyes shot up, his eyes looking directly into hers. Her mouth falls open, before closing again. She feels the blush creeping up into her cheeks. “I find it only fair that you’ve seen me masturbate, and I you, seeing that you did touch yourself in the shower.”

Her eyes widen impossibly more, a lump forming in her throat as she took in his words. “You… You watched me?” She blinked before her eyes sought to her burger yet again, the embarrassment becoming too much. How he had noticed her, was a mystery. Surely, she’d heard him leave, but she hadn’t heard him return. Maybe she was caught up in her thoughts… But she was quiet. Wasn’t she? Was there something he wasn’t-

“I heard you through the door, darling. You’re very loud. You know that, right?” She lets out a shaky breath before standing from her seat, backing a few steps from the table, into the living room. She watches as Bucky rises from his seat as well, following her as she tried to make the space bigger between the two of them.

Bucky looks at her longingly. He had to admit she looked breathtaking, even though she was scared and angry. There was a slight twinkle in her eye though, one of which could be a hope to escape whatever he had in store for her. It dawned on Bucky, that she probably had no idea what he had planned to do to her, and he smirked when her eyes darted around, not being able to focus on anything.

“What is you want from me, Bucky?” Her voice was shaking when she finally spoke. He shook his head with a slight laugh. She must have known by now. He basically told her everything in the living room. Confessed his feelings for her. Admitting without words.

“Oh baby… You’re still so innocent.” Her back hit the wall of his living room, her breath hitching in her throat. He came impossibly closer, caging her up against the wall. “Come on now… We tried this the easy way. Give into me.”

His hand tangled in her hair before he buried his nose in it, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. With a hand tightly fisting her hair, the other found its way under her shirt. She let out a sob as she felt the cup give into Bucky’s pull, the soft flesh of her breast spilling out of the cup.

“Bucky please…” She tried to reason, trying to turn away from his grasp. She felt his hand leave her hair to hold her throat as the hand under her shirt it made its way down her torso, popping the button of her pants.

She froze as his fingers slid into her panties, her eyes widening in surprise. It surprised her that the hold on her neck had the effect on her it did – it scared her as well.

“What are you- no!” she cried out as she felt one of his fingers burying itself into her entrance. Another digit joined the first shortly after, making her gasp. Bucky had her trapped, and he enjoyed it. His hand left her throat and found her cheek, stroking a fallen tear away lovingly while he pushed his fingers deeper into her, his thumb grazing her clit roughly.

“I’ll make you feel good. I promise, baby.” His fingers picked up the pace as she felt a coil tighten in her stomach. She tried to fight the pleasure that was forced upon her, the tears falling from her eyes freely by now. She felt the coil snap, and with a cry she came around Bucky’s fingers reluctantly. Her cunt clenching around his fingers felt like heaven, and at that moment, he was sure this was what heaven felt like.

“Such a good girl. You like that, huh baby?” His breath fanned over her face, the air coming off as cold on her drying cheeks. She shook her head with a sob, sucking in a breath through her nose, even though she desperately wanted to agree.

She felt Bucky retract his fingers from her panties, bringing them to his lips before sucking them into his mouth. Watching his fingers covered in her slick disappearing between his lips made her heart hammer impossibly harder in her chest.

“So goddamn sweet. Like honey, darling. You’re just hiding this sweet pussy, huh?” His filthy words take her aback, and her mouth falls open in shock. She doesn’t know what to say. Baffled, she barely feels when he lifts her by the thighs, carrying her into his bedroom, where he throws her on the bed. As her back collides with his soft covers, she’s finally pulled out of the trance.

“Bucky…” her voice is quivering as his hands tug her pants down her legs, goosebumps rising as she feels his stubble against her thighs, her calves, her feet. His lips trace their way up the inside of her legs, her eyes widening again as she realizes what he’s doing now.

“Bucky, please, don’t!” she whimpers, but to no avail. Bucky buries his nose into her mound, inhaling her scent, just as the words leave her mouth. She whimpers when she realized it feels good, even though it shouldn’t.

“Such a lovely girl… Such a lovely pussy…” His words unsettle her, making her stomach twist. She tries to push at his head with her hands, whining as she feels his teeth nip at her clit. He can feel her panicking underneath him, and it makes him smile.

She feels the fabric tighten against her skin before she hears it tear, and shortly after his mouth latches onto her clit. She silently sobs out, arms and legs thrashing about. His hands push up her legs, at the same time collecting her hands in his, tightening his hold on her. She feels the ability to move becoming harder, and she sobs again out as his tongue flicks her clit harshly.

“Stay still, darling… Or this will get worse.” Her eyes widen as she takes in his words. Worse? What could be worse than this? She was unable to kick him, unable to slap him. She was unable to push him away, unable to stop him from invading her body.

In her haze, she barely registers her climax building before it hits her, making her cry out as ecstasy takes over her body. The muscles in her legs tighten around him, her whole body shaking from the earth-shattering orgasm unlike anything she’s ever felt before. Her mind is in a haze so deep, she could barely tell right from wrong anymore.

Having Bucky in between her legs felt so right, like the two of them fit together as puzzle pieces. At the same time, she knew it was wrong – so wrong. She felt herself thrash around from her oversensitivity; her mind completely detached from her body. Her gaze fell to where Bucky was placed between her legs, and she let out a moan at how sinful he appeared, his pupils blown wide, and a wide grin plastered on his face.

She shivered at the feral look in his eyes as he peppered kisses up her stomach, pushing up her shirt and pulling down her bra, sucking one of her nipples into his mouth. She let out a wanton moan, for a short moment forgetting the situation. His lip around her perked nipples is making her pussy gush with want. She watches as he pulls his shirt over his head, baring his muscular torso to her prying eyes.

“Gonna make you feel so good, baby.” He breathes out against her skin, goosebumps rising on her skin where his breath had hit. “You’re not gonna want any other man than me when I’m done with you.” She feels his hands working in between her legs, her senses kicking in when she realizes his hands are working on unbuttoning his pants.

Tears start streaming down her face again, her head thrashing around, whimpers leaving her mouth as fear takes over her body for real. Her hands come to rest against his shoulders, trying to push him away. “Bucky, please…” she whimpers, trying to restrain him from taking her most sacred possession from her, but to no avail.

With one swift thrust he pushes inside of her. She shuts her eyes tightly, the pain unimaginable. There’s a soaring pain in between her legs, with Bucky’s cock stretching her ever so painfully. She realizes he’s stopped moving, letting her body adjust to him as her walls pulsed around his throbbing member. Whimpers are leaving her mouth, short puffs of breaths landing against the skin of his pectoral muscle.

Bucky smirks triumphantly down at her. Knowing he had been her first stirred something inside him. A sob escaped her as she started to cry audibly, his hands sliding down her sides to grasp her hips in his hands. He locks her legs around his waist, driving himself deeper into her, his thrusts hard and pace increasing. He watches her face through half-lidded eyes, soft groans falling from his lips.

Her walls were milking him, her body begging for him to come. He buries his face into the crook of her shoulder as his thrusts picks up the pace further, uncontrollable and with no rhythm at all. He’s thrusting into her most sensitive spot, earning a few moans from her lips before she’s coming undone around him, her body trembling as her walls convulsed around Bucky’s cock, tears streaming down her cheeks. She feels Bucky burying himself deeply inside her before he’s coming right after her with a load groan.

His hair is tickling her nose – she can smell his scent – pine, fresh air, Bucky. It suddenly felt alright. A sense of calm washes over her, the sense of familiarity making her relax slightly. As she feels him shift on top of her, her mind goes back into freeze mode, her eyes widening as he lifts his torso off hers. The two of them were still connected.

Bucky found her scent intoxicating, and he knew she weren’t done yet. He wasn’t done yet. Her expression turned into fear, unlike anything Bucky had seen before. “Baby, don’t look at me like that…” His voice was sulky, as if he didn’t deserve to attend to her fear.

“We’re nowhere near done yet.”

Fear surged through her body as the words fell from his lips. She didn’t want this. Not again. She wanted to cry and scream for him to stop. She had spilled so many tears already, and her screaming had left her throat dry and hoarse.

“Please Bucky…” Her body was tired, and she was emotionally drained. He shifted on top of her, his hands grasping her ankles and flipping her over before lifting her hips, bringing her to her hands and knees. He got on his knees behind her, just as she pushed her face into the bedsheets, letting out a sob as his hands brushed their way up the skin of her back.

“God you’re so delicate. Like a petal of the most exquisite rose.” She felt his breath on her butt cheeks. She let out a sob, realizing how close he actually was to her most private area. She felt his teeth bite into her left cheek and heard him let out a hum of appreciation.

“So good for me, huh baby?” The sob she let out just seconds before had escalated into full on crying – only lacking tears since she was so tired. She’s begging him to let her go, to stop for now, but she knew he wouldn’t listen. She felt his hands grab at her waist roughly, positioning himself and plunging back inside of her used cunt.

It didn’t even sound like she was screaming. Maybe all it was, was a weak screech and she quickly gave up, letting him have his way with her overly sensitive body. She was still wet – her come and his mixing together inside of her. Bucky used it as makeshift lube, sliding into her easily. Her hands turned into fists as she realized his hold on her hips would make it impossible for her to wiggle away from him.

A soft yelp left her lips as the newfound position made his thrusts seem impossibly deeper. She could hear Bucky hum behind her, compliment her as he took her, letting her know how pleased he was to finally have her. She tried to cancel out the sound of their bodies meeting – wet and slick sounds of his cock plunging its way deeply inside of her, and she gasped as she felt him get rougher again.

He slammed into her, groaning for her to follow him, to come with him, making her cry out. Bucky hit her cervix repeatedly, painfully, again and again until she came a fourth time, her body pulling and clenching around him, begging him to let go, and he came yet again with a loud groan.

He stroked her back lovingly as he almost collapsed against her back, her legs quivering underneath the weight of their bodies. It took Bucky a while to remove himself from her, but when he did, he didn’t hesitate to clean her up thoroughly, making sure she was perfect for him.

“Come on darling, roll over for me.” Bucky commanded, and she simply let out a deep breath and moaned. She couldn’t do it. She didn’t have the strength and the will anymore. All she wanted to do was to hide away from the world. From Bucky.

“Roll over for me.” He said again, this time punctuating all four words, rolling his eyes as she let out a whine in protest. He ended up grabbing her waist and turning her over himself, laying her down before laying down himself and pulling her into his arms.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” his hands slid down the curve of her waist, fingers drawing imaginary circles on her hipbone. She let out a huff before hiding her face in his neck, feeling her eyes wet with tears yet again. They slid down her cheek and landed in the crevice of his collarbone, pooling among droplets of sweat from their sex.

“You did so good, darling. I’m so proud of you.” A wracked sob left her at his words. She felt him bury his nose into her hair, his lips peppering kisses onto her scalp as he softly shushed her, his arms gently rocking her as he let her cry.

“It’s all gonna be okay darling, I’ll take care of you.” With that, she fell into a dreamless slumber.

Saturday, 9:21am

Bucky watched her as the soft morning sun peeked through his curtains, which wasn’t drawn the whole way. Her eyelashes laid softly against her rosy cheeks; her eyelids still puffy from the crying she did last night. His eyes studied her face calmly before traveling down her naked, uncovered body, his head propped up on his arm, his temple laying against his fist.

His eyes fell on her breasts, admiring her perked nipples and the small stretchmarks pointing to the rosy bud. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, his fingers reaching out to graze the soft skin under her breast. His hand made its way down the curve of her waist, pushing down the covers laying against her skin.

As her navel was revealed, Bucky felt his cock twitch. Images from last night of her body underneath him filled his mind, how good she felt around his cock, how deliciously sinful her moans had filled his ears, how fucking good her slick tasted on his tongue… He was definitely in deep.

How she managed to calm herself down after more than two hours of crying and sobbing through what he had forced upon her, to now look more peaceful and beautiful as ever blew his mind. Her eyelids fluttered before she shifted slightly, her hand coming up to rub at her eyes.

He didn’t fight the want to stroke at her hair, so that’s what he did. He lifted his hand and pushed a strand behind her ear, his thumb stroking her cheekbone afterwards. To Bucky’s surprise she leaned into his touch, a small smile tugging at her lips.

It dawned on him that she, at this moment, wasn’t awake enough to remember what had transpired last night. She stretched her arms in front of her, hands landing against Bucky’s shoulder and pectoral muscles, and her eyes fluttered open quickly as she withdrew her hands hurriedly.

“Bucky?” her voice quivered before her bottom lip started wobbling – her face twisting with realization. Her eyes widened at her undressed state, not fully covered by the covers, and she yanked the fabric up to cover her breasts while sitting up slightly.

“Morning beautiful.” He watched as her muscles tensed before she relaxed slightly. Her lips move on their own accord as she whispers out a morning. “How are you feeling?” His hand came out to grasp hers, and she lets him take it.

“A little bit sore…” his thumb grazes over the back of her hand and she watches it as it slides over the skin, tracing the path of the veins trailing underneath the flesh. “I uh…” She bites her lip as she twists her hand in his, grasping his hands in hers.

“Mhm, what is it darling? Don’t go being all shy on me now” He watched her hand in his, feeling his heart jump slightly, feeling some sort of domestication by looking at her. The words that left her mouth shortly after took him by surprise.

“Can I see it?” she sucked her lip back between her teeth before she let out a giggle. “Your cock?”

Bucky’s mouth fell open at her choice of words before he let the covers slide down his body slowly, revealing his semi-hard cock to her. The sight of it made her inhale sharply, taking in the size of it. She realized she had barely seen it the previous day in the bathroom, since it looked even bigger now. Was that really inside of her last night? Bucky felt a smile tug on his lips as he watched her face, contorted in admiration.

“You can touch it… Come on, I’ll show you how.” He watches as she bites her lip, before the hand that was holding hers tugged her hand down to his cock. She shifts closer to him as her fingers graze over the length of his cock, before gripping the base softly, nimble fingers wrapping around his girth.

His cock is heavy and warm in her hand, pulsing beneath her fingers. It somehow makes her mouth water, and she feels a sudden urge to do more than just jerk Bucky off. She doesn’t give into the temptation though, deciding that this should be enough for now. She hears Bucky suck in a breath as he watches her.

“Just like that, move your hand up and down slowly, maybe tighten your grip a little bit… when you get to the head…” She did as he told her, watching as her fingers pulls the foreskin down, before coming back up to the head of his cock. Her head whips around as she hears a groan leave his lips.

His eyes were hooded, watching her movements, eyes scanning over her body, before coming up to her face. “God you’re beautiful…” She tightened her hand further, quickening her movements. She looked into his eyes and held his gaze as she pumped his cock. There was something in his eyes – she couldn’t quite place what she saw. She watched as his brows furrowed, his eyes fluttering closed, his breath coming out heavier and another groan spilling from his lips.

She twisted her head just as she felt his cock tense in her hand, watching the way white ropes of cum landing against the skin of his stomach, some pooling into his bellybutton, along with another strangled groan falling from his lips. Her lips tugged into a smile, his hand coming up to grasp the back of her neck, pulling her into a deep, heavy kiss.

She felt the same feeling as she did just under a day earlier, when he had kissed her in the living room. Sparks flying, undeniably. As her lips parted from his, he smiled. His eyes scanned over her reddened cheeks before trailing over her lips, pulling back from her to give her space.

“What would you like for breakfast, baby?” The words were softly spoken, and she smiled as he sat up slightly, awaiting your answer. She shrugged her shoulders lightly, not really sure if she was in the mood to eat something. Her stomach was still a bit uneasy from the events of yesterday, but she managed to get out the word smoothie, along with her best doe-eyes.

After Bucky rolled out of bed and left his bedroom to clean himself up and make her breakfast, she let out a celebratory sigh and fell back against one of his pillows. She hoped that her efforts in seeming interested in his actions would help, so he wouldn’t force her into things she didn’t want.

She leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed the discarded shirt, pulling it over her head. She quietly padded over to her bag, pulling the whole bag into her arms and walking to the bathroom, before locking herself in. She stepped into the shower stall, turning the water on and twisting the handle, feeling the water getting warmer and warmer, up until the point where it was scalding her skin.

She whimpered before fully submerging herself underneath the searing water, scrubbing the insides of her thighs violently until she felt the skin grow sore and sensitive. She sobbed out as her fingers came into contact with her sensitive folds, washing away the remains of what Bucky had done to her the night before.

Just as she thought of him, she felt her heart drop in her chest when she heard a knock on the bathroom door. She hadn’t even heard him approaching, and now he was just outside the door. She silently begged that he wouldn’t speak or ask her for anything, but it seemed like luck wasn’t on her side today either.

“Baby, breakfast’s ready.” She felt the goosebumps of disgust run down her back, even though the water was still burning her skin. Just the sound of his voice made her uncomfortable, made her guts turn uncomfortably in her stomach, which made her regret once again ever coming here with him in the first place.

“Baby?” He knocked again, making her heart clench in her chest before she answered him quietly that she was almost done, before she turned off the water, rubbing her body roughly with one of the towels laid out in one of the cabinets.

“Just a second.” She took a look in the mirror and gasped as she noticed the bruises littering her neck, arms, stomach, thighs. She had no idea how she was going to hide them from her parents. She scrambled through her bag, pulling out as many covering pieces of clothing she could possibly muster before covering up her body.

Saturday, 10:08am

When she entered the kitchen, the delicious smell of pancakes filled her nostrils and she sighed in content. She took in the table – Bucky had placed all of her favorite fruits in separate bowls and made her a smoothie. The pancakes were even chocolate chip. She felt both agitated and sure of herself, until the second she sat down.

“So, I was really your first, huh?” Was the first question that left Bucky, a smirk plastered on his face. She felt the redness fill her cheeks before she nodded, not really wanting to engage in a conversation with him. She grabbed a handful of blueberries, stuffing them into her mouth and chewing on the sweet fruits.

“You know… The way your body reacted to how I fucked you… How you moaned… Cried out my name… How your tight pussy strangled my cock…” Bucky smirked as he grabbed his cup of coffee, bringing it to his lips before blowing on the surface, gently. “Could get used to that.”

She felt her heart pick up its pace in her chest, hammering against her ribcage as she sat stiff with her hands in her lap, too embarrassed to look at him. She fought her embarrassment though and looked up to where he was sitting through her lashes – he was exploring his molars with his tongue with his eyebrow cocked, watching her. Smug son of a bitch.

“You shouldn’t be so nervous, darling. Dig in! I made everything you asked for while you were hiding in my bathroom. You could at least appreciate the effort.”

Her eyes shot down, not wanting to meet his. The tone in his voice made her shiver. She reluctantly reached out and grabbed the smoothie off the table, bringing the straw to her lips before sucking the sweet fluid into her mouth. The taste of strawberry and blackberry lingered on her tastebuds, along with a tangy flavor she had trouble placing. She looked up at Bucky again.

“Bucky… I think I would like to go home today.” She shivered as she thought about what happened last night. What could happen again. She feared it would. She took another sip of the smoothie followed by another, and placed it on the table, truly hoping Bucky would give in and let her go.

She was wrong.

His smile was wide as he watched her drink more than half of the smoothie, just waiting for the triazolam to take its toll on her nervous system. He knew the pills for his incurable insomnia would come in handy someday, and he mentally high fived himself as he noticed her getting groggier.

“This should solve your sleeping problem, Mr. Barnes. I wouldn’t normally advise for this, but if you’re in need of a faster effect, crush them into some water and ingest it shortly before going to bed.”

And that was exactly what Bucky had done when making her smoothie. The remains of the white powder in the porcelain mortar resting in the sink was the only evidence of his scheme at this point. He had everything planned – down to the last detail. Everything he had to do by the time she would wake up from her pill-induced sleep.

“You know, darling, there’s so much I want to show you. To teach you.” Bucky slowly got out of his chair, picking a few fruits from the bowls, before chucking them into his mouth. “That’s why I need you to stay here, with me. Until we die.”

“Bucky, I… what’s happening?” she looked up at him with fearful eyes, her sight blurring Bucky into a blob of dark and fair tones before returning back to being clear as day. “I’m scared. Please.”

“You’re gonna sleep for a little bit,” he crouched down beside her chair and her eyes widened as her brain caught up with what her ears were hearing. “But I’ll make sure to take good care of you while you’re sleeping, I promise.” She felt his hand wipe a stray piece of hair from her face, pushing it behind her ear before he placed a kiss on her cheek.

Everything went black before her eyes, and her head landed heavily in Bucky’s hands. He watched as her eyes rolled around in her head, unable to focus on anything before finally falling closed, a sigh escaping her lips.

Bucky lifted her out of the chair gently, admiring her soft features before walking her to his bedroom. Her soft breathing was warm against his neck as he held her in his arms, one of the only things letting her know she was still sentient. He laid her on the bed carefully before beginning to rid her of all the clothes she had hidden herself in.

“Oh, you silly girl… Trying to hide from me. Trying to get me to let you go…” he carefully tugged down her jeans, throwing them on the floor. He lifted her leg off the bed, placing a kiss on top of her foot. His eyes follow the length of her legs, all the way up her body. Her beautiful body. “I’ll never let you go. You’re mine now.”

Saturday, ?

She let out a small groan before turning on to her back – or so she thought. Her eyes flew open before she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes – or tried to. She groggily looked up at her hand and let out a gasp when she found it fixated to the bedpost. She whipped her head around and found the other fastened likewise, letting out a tiny whimper.

She clenched her fists, giving the restraints another tug but to no avail. She lifted her head slightly, looking around, and let out another whimper when she noticed she was in Bucky’s bedroom yet again. She shivered when she heard his voice, coming from behind her.

“So, you’re finally awake. Took you long enough, darling.” she gasped when she felt his fingers slide through her folds and into her wet cunt. It felt different than the last time he did it, though. Like something was in the way. It felt good, though.

“You know, it’s actually quite impressive how the human body reacts to arousing touch. I’ve been toying with your clit for more than an hour, drawing a few orgasms from you and you’re still just as responsive… So, I wanted to try something new.”

She gasped when she felt his fingers swirl themselves inside her and then against the back of her tight cunt. Her eyes widened as her mind suddenly cleared itself enough for her to feel the expansion of her tight ring of muscle. She struggled to move her legs, giving up when she realized they were tied to the foot of the bed, spread wide.

“For someone who was a virgin in both holes just yesterday, I have to say I’m impressed. It’s like your pussy was made for my cock… I can’t wait to fuck this tight ass of yours… To see if it’s just as good as your cunt.”

Her eyes widened as she felt his hand leave the warmth of her pussy, swirling around the gem of the butt plug seated snugly within her tight rim. She gasped loudly when she felt Bucky slowly retracting the plug, not letting the widest part pass the rim before pushing the plug back in. She let out a wanton moan as it fell back into place.

“I’m gonna fuck your pussy while this plug is filling you up, and then I’m gonna fuck your tight ass…” She heard Bucky slide down the mattress before his lips found her soaking cunt, emitting a loud moan from her. Her mind was still hazy from her slumber, she struggled with finding the words for a few moments. “Yeah, you like that?”

“Bucky…” she whimpered weakly as a surge of pleasure shot through her veins. “Please don’t, Buck…” She had trouble focusing on anything, she wasn’t sure where Bucky’s lips lingered anymore. She registered the rip of a foil packet, and just after, she felt the thickness of Bucky’s cock filling her slick pussy to the limit.

“Fuck, that’s a good girl…” Bucky moans loudly as he bottoms out, the pressure from the plug in her ass straining against his cock. He leans down and peppers a string of kisses on her cheek, admiring her as her mouth hung open, short puffs of breaths pushing their way past her plump lips.

Her eyes are shut tightly, her eyebrows drawing a thin line between pleasure and pain. As of that moment, he can’t tell which is which. Tears are slowly framing her eyes, though still not giving the emotion away.

“Oh my god,” she breathes, and Bucky bites his lips to restrain himself, but the intoxicating way her pussy grasps his cock tightly, the sweet pink gem resting just above his cock has his mind spiraling into pleasure. He grabs her hips and thrusts into her harshly, pushing the tears out of her eyes and the cries out of her mouth with every thrust.

His hips slam against hers within a few thrusts, and it’s making her see stars. His cock is grazing her most sensitive places with every thrust, and everything seems to blacken before her eyes as hot floods shoot through her veins, her orgasm so intense her whole body is shaking.

She herself doesn’t know whether it was in pleasure or in pain either, but it was definitely something in between. She had never felt a feeling so indescribably enormous; she had never felt so full. She whimpered when Bucky pulled himself out of her, eyes widening as she came back to herself, feeling the plug being retracted slowly.

“I can’t hold back darling, fuck you make it so hard…” she gasped when the plug slid out easily, whimpering as she felt liquid smear against her fluttering, sensitive ring of muscle, the coolness slithering down between her sensitive lips, staining the mattress below her.

She bites her lip harshly as she feels the tip of Bucky’s cock prod against her tightening rim. It was a whole other feeling than the plug. Where the plug was cold and somewhat hard, Bucky’s cock was warm, wide and rigid. She clenches her jaw as his cock breaches her, the sting unlike anything she had ever felt before.

“Come on baby, let me hear you…” Bucky gritted through his teeth, just beside her ear. She clenches her jaw even tighter, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of letting him hear the effect he had on her. The breaths she sucked in through her nose were uneven and ragged, the pain caused by his cock almost unbearable.

“Fucking relax, baby… You’re just making it harder for yourself…” She didn’t know how deep he was inside of her and she didn’t wanna know either. She had never felt dirtier than she did in this exact moment, and she shut her eyes tightly, wishing herself invisible. She felt his hands grasp a butt cheek each, before spreading them apart, thrusting his hips, slowly entering her deeper.

“That’s it baby…” she whined as she felt his hips still against hers, his pelvis resting snugly between her spread cheeks. His mouth found her ear and she whimpered as the next words that left his lips sunk in. “Such a good slut for me, taking all of my cock in her tight ass…”

His hand moved around her hip, squeezing itself between her body and the mattress, sliding down in between her legs where her soaking pussy had been abandoned. His fingers swirled around the bundle of nerves, the small jolts of his thrusts mixing with the pleasure from his fingers pushing her over the edge.

She let out a scream as she came around his cock, her ass gripping him tighter than he had ever felt before in his life. Out of all the women he had ever fucked, she was by far the tightest he had ever experienced. Her whole body shook beneath him, hands tightly fisting the bedsheets as her ass strangled his cock, begging for him to release his seed within.

Bucky’s cock felt so massive as she tried to come down from her startling high, the jolts of her body seemingly calming down slightly. “Bucky please… You’re too big, I can’t…” she cried out as her oversensitivity took over, trying to push the foreign intrusion out. His movements stung against her sore ring of muscle, making her wail further.

Bucky ignored her pleas and pushed his hips tighter against hers before retracting himself halfway, pushing in again. He groaned into her ear as he fucked her ass, showing her no mercy as he searched for his own release. He cursed out as he found the angle unable to grant him what he so desperately longed for.

He untied her right leg first, followed by the left before bringing her knees under her body, to fuck her in his favorite position. She whined as he pulled out of her ass completely, before leaning down to lick a firm stripe through her folds. She didn’t know how he managed to make her feel as dirty as he did, but it was amplified even further when he spat at her ass.

He cursed behind her at the sight of her, and shortly after she felt another wet dollop of lube slither between her cheeks. He easily slid his cock back into her ass, sighing out as her warmth once again engulfed his cock completely. He was never, ever going to let her go. Not when she could make him feel like this by just fucking her.

His release came just as quickly as she had hoped. Within three more strokes, he buried himself to the hilt, bit her earlobe harshly and spilled himself into the condom. She felt the pulsing of the convulsions in his cock more prominently in her ass, and she distracted herself from the pain by counting every spurt of his cum that landed within the latex with every jerk of his cock.

“Good girl.” He whispered as he gripped around his cock, securing the condom before pulling out of her, slowly. She whimpered as he left her body, and he groaned at the sight of her ring of muscle fluttering and contracting around nothing.

Bucky slid off the bed after pulling the condom off, tying the end and left for the bathroom. She felt a tear escape her eye as she pushed her legs back to lie flat before lifting her head, turning it to look in the direction of the bathroom. Bucky emerged with a damp towel, in all his naked glory, walking over to her with a victorious smirk.

“You did so good my darling… Such a good obedient girl for her daddy.” He talked sweet nonsense as he cleaned between her legs. She hissed as the damp cloth came in contact with her swollen ass, and again when he swiped it between her folds, gathering her slick. “Have you changed your mind yet, darling? Or do I need to teach you another lesson?”

She looked up at him with wide eyes, sucking her lip in between her teeth. “Changed my mind about what?”

She felt a hard slap on her butt. “Don’t play dumb, baby. It’s not a good look on you. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” She whimpers as his hand grazes along the angry, red protrusion of the skin where his hand had landed.

“Please, I want to go home Bucky.” She whimpered, closing her eyes as she felt the tears flow freely from her eyes. She felt another harsh slap against har already sensitive skin, then another.

“Wrong answer.”

“Bucky you can’t keep me locked up here forever!” She cried out, tugging on the restraints again, with what little power she had left after what he had just put her through, and the grogginess from the drugs, still in her system. Bucky leaned all the way into her ear, whispering out yet another sinister thing, that made her whole body crumble in fear.

“If that’s what it takes.”

He left her then, only pulling the sheet over her ass to cover her private parts. She didn’t know how long she spent in his bed, tied up like some animal. She could hear him somewhere in the house, humming along to some tune playing on the radio, which she couldn’t make out.

She was getting cold, falling asleep sporadically along with goosebumps rising on her skin as silent tears slid down her cheeks into the pillow. She felt exposed and used. Used by a man she trusted with her life. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She imagined that she could’ve been wrapped up in her comforter at home, watching some boring Netflix series instead of laying tied up here.

She felt scared. Even more scared than she’d felt just after Bucky had violated her for the first time. She’d never felt so helpless before, and it made her even more scared of what Bucky would do to her if he got the chance. It was getting dark out, and she knew that it would either improve or deteriorate her chances of escaping. She didn’t know where to escape to, though.

She knew she had to get out of his house as soon as possible. She knew she had to get in contact with her parents somehow, despite the fact that she didn’t want to anymore. She didn’t know where her phone had ended up in all of this mess, but she knew Bucky usually slept with his by the bed. Either she could wait for that opportunity, or she could try to escape.

She wiggled her toes slightly, trying to get some of the blood down there again. She twisted her knees slightly, trying to pull them up under her again. She thanked the heavens that she was flexible when she managed to pull her right knee up under her, followed by the other.

She slowly rose to her knees, sitting back on her ass. She looked towards the door, cracked open slightly. The faint smell of something cooking filled her nostrils and she heard her stomach rumbling. She had no recollection of when she last had something to eat.

It was this morning, that much she knew. But she didn’t know what time it was by now. How long she’d been out, how long he’d been in the bedroom with her, how long she’d been laying there alone.

She took in the expert knots that had her hands tied to the headboard, reminding her that her dad and Bucky had served in the military together, and that they both had some knowledge about rope and knots. They’d even taught her some, so she could easily make out which one he’d tied her up with.

The double constrictor knot tied twice on both her wrists made her eyes fill with tears yet again. There was no way she would be able to pull the knots open with her teeth. Yet she found herself trying. And… on top of that, she really needed to pee.

She examined the knot before slowly making out the placement of the ends and where they were cut off. She reached forward and trapped one loop in between her teeth, pulling slightly. She sighed happily when she felt it give in, and she pulled one end through easily. Way too easily.

She repeated the action one more time, pulling the end over and through on the other side, one knot coming completely undone. She nodded at herself when the first rope fell to the pillow under her, making everything seem a little bit easier.

Three more to go.

She prayed that Bucky didn’t make an appearance, otherwise she’d be fucked. She leaned forward and examined the next knot on the same wrist, leaning forward when she located the end of it.

She winced when the ropes on the wrist she wasn’t working on tugged the rash on her skin even deeper. She needed to get out of there, and she needed to get out of there now. Panic settled in her stomach when she heard footsteps from somewhere in the house, tears spilling out of her eyes yet again.

“Come on, come on…” the knot finally gave in and she breathed out in relief, grinning slightly when her fingers started loosening the knots on her other wrist. She was so close to freeing her wrist, so close to relief from emptying her bladder… So close to escaping from Bucky.

“Baby…” She instantly freezes when she hears his voice from the door. “What are you doing?” She lets out a breath, feeling the tears re-wetting the paths on her cheeks that had dried earlier. Her cheeks redden, embarrassed that he’s caught her.

“Bucky, I…” she starts, turning her head slowly to look at him. He’s standing in the doorway with a tray of food for her, for them. How had she not noticed the amazing smell filling the room much earlier? How long had he even been standing there? She was so caught up in escaping she hadn’t even heard him.

She’s not sure whether the words that leave her mouth are just plain stupid or smart. Either way, his eyes soften just a bit when she speaks. “I just really have to pee.” She watches as he puts down the tray on his bedside table before he leans forward, loosening the remaining knots.

“Why didn’t you just call for me, baby? I would’ve come and helped you so you wouldn’t tear your lips like that.” His thumb grazes her lip, making her wince slightly. She hadn’t noticed the skin being mangled from the roughness of the rope. “Jesus baby, you look awful.”

She winces again when his fingers glide over her cheekbone, before they help her loosen the last knots around her wrists. She slides off the bed with a whimpering thank you, her legs slightly unstable as she staggers her way to the bathroom. She shuts the door softly before finally getting the relief she’s been craving.

Once finished, she tries for the small window in the bathroom. She knows she isn’t going to fit through, but she’s trying anyway. The window doesn’t budge, even when all laches are off and clattering against the glass. She knows Bucky can hear her from the bedroom, but at this point she doesn’t care.

“Come on. Dinner is ready.” His voice is just on the other side of the door, letting her know just how close he was. By the looks of it, there was no way she was ever going to be left alone again. Her foot slipped from her getting dizzy when she stepped on the bathmat to wash her hands, causing her to let out a yelp.

The door was yanked open just as she steadied herself against the marble countertop, catching Bucky’s eyes in the mirror when she looked up. Traces of nervousness swirled in his eyes, and she wondered why. “Jesus, I thought you hurt yourself, baby.”

He watched her every move as she washed her hands, dried them off before throwing them around her body, shielding her still naked body from him. He observed the way goosebumps littered her arms and legs, making his heart clench in his chest. He swiftly manhandled her into a t-shirt, before handing her a pair of panties.

He watched as she slid them on weakly, before grabbing her hand and leading her back to the bed. “Come on,” he spoke softly, as he sat her down and placed the tray in front of her, urging her to eat by bringing a forkful of food to her lips. “You need your strength.” She squeezed her lips together, not fully trusting him with her food since the incident this morning.

“Don’t worry.” He grabbed her hand, his thumb sliding over the soft skin, “It’s just food this time. No drugs.” She looked up at him doe-eyed, desperately trying to just have him leave her. She purses her lips again. “I trust you, baby.”

“I’m not hungry.” She whispered out, pulling her hand from his gently before scooting back just a bit on the bed, to get further away from him. Her stomach grumbled in that moment, letting him know how much of a lie that was. She was starving.

He grabs her jaw, forcing her lips apart before shoving the food in between them. “You eat when I tell you to eat.” He’s somewhat grumpy, it’s easy to see. There’s a glint remorse in his eyes, but she doesn’t believe that he regrets anything he’s put her through. She chews languidly, all while her eyes are trained on her hands in her lap.

“Am I going to have to force feed you, or will you eat on your own accord? Because I don’t care what you choose.” She looks up at him and watches as he scoops another dollop of food onto the fork, bringing it to her lips. She carefully swallows the food already in her mouth before opening up for him to feed her. “Good girl.”

It continues like that, with Bucky taking a few bites in between feeding her. It makes her calm to see him eat from the same portion of food as her, letting her know that he was telling the truth when he made her eat the first bite. No drugs.

He brings the straw resting in a glass of water to her lips after setting the plate back on the tray. She eyes his hands, inspecting the glass intensely. He sighs and rolls his eyes yet understanding her actions. He knows she’s afraid of him, he knows she doesn’t trust her right now.

He brings the straw to his own lips and sucks the cold fluid into his mouth before swallowing, letting her know that the water was safe to ingest as well. She exhales slowly before taking the glass from him, emptying it in one go. She was truly thirsty.

“What time is it?” she tries softly, afraid that Bucky thought she didn’t need to know, since he had no plans of ever letting her go. She’s looking for any sign indicating that he’s carrying his phone. He eyes her for a while, his eyes squinting for just a moment. She looked breathtaking as she sat there, fiddling her fingers.

“Why do you want to know?” She knew it. He’s still watching her, trying to look through her, into her head to figure out what she’s thinking. She tries her best to appear unfazed, just wanting him to tell her the goddamn time.

She feels lost in a whole new way, with the conception of time stripped from her as well. It makes her uneasy on a whole other level. “I just… Wanna know if it’s time for dessert.” She whispers, still afraid to say much. She waits for his reaction anxiously, another wave of uneasiness overcoming her.

Bucky laughs. He actually laughs at her. She furrows her brows as she watches his shoulders shake with every puff of laughter. “You don’t need to know the time…” he has a hard time getting the words out through his laughter, yet he speaks again shortly after.  “Desserts,” he smiles as he turns his head toward her, eyes taking in her serious expression. He smiles warmly at her. “What do you want for dessert?”

“You tell me the time; I tell you what I want for dessert.” He raises his eyebrow at her demand, not really expecting it. She doesn’t know where the surge of confidence came from. She just wanted to know the damn time. Somewhere deep within her, she’s still wondering if he is going to let her go the following day.

“Feisty now, aren’t you?” He jokingly says, well knowing she was, still is, afraid of him. He bites the inside of his cheek, contemplating her offer before he slowly draws out his phone before showing her the time. 9:21pm. So, she had been tied up in his bedroom the whole day. She watched as he pushed it back into his pocket, away from her prying eyes.

“So, darling… You wanted dessert?” he turns back to her and she has shuffled closer to him in the midst of his lack of attention. Her hand reaches out to caress his cheek, startling him. She smiles softly, she doesn’t even know why.

In one way, she wanted to get out of his house as soon as humanly possible but… She found herself not wanting to. Her thoughts were conflicting within her head, confusing her even more than previously. Maybe she just had to play pretend for now, and he would let her go tomorrow?

She found herself slowly losing herself within her thoughts. She had so many conflicting ones, her mind in a flurry about which ones to focus on. Everything came to her while admiring him through her lashes. Every emotion she’s ever felt for him, every memory she had with him. “Yeah. I want you.”

Without words she rises, initiating the contact between them herself. She didn’t know how or why, but she found herself reaching out for his hand. It felt a little alien, but good, nonetheless. It was clear to her that he was taken aback by her actions. She silently straddles his thighs, her ass resting on his knees as she pushes him back to lay against the bed. “I want to do this on my own.” she starts while pulling the shirt over her head.

“You took the choice from me yesterday, and I don’t think that’s fair. Do you?” the sudden surge of confidence in her takes him aback, and he’s laying motionlessly against the mattress, just watching her undress herself on top of him.

He watches as her hands slide over her breasts and down her stomach, teasing him slightly as she snaps the elastic band of her panties against the skin on her hip. She feels him harden underneath her within second of the fabric leaving her torso, and she revels in it.

She was deeply in love with Bucky Barnes. No matter how he wronged her, abused her, used her - she loves him. Maybe she was delusional but having him underneath her set her nerves on fire. She had finally gotten what she wanted.

There was nothing standing in the way of her and Bucky’s relationship anymore. She wasn’t afraid anymore. She was going to give into him, and she was going to enjoy it.

All it had taken, was one small flaw in Bucky’s plan. He’d let it slip, and he wasn’t even aware of it.

Saturday, 03:22am

Opening the messages app on his phone, she quickly searches through the different messages before opening the one with her dad. She knew exactly who she had to call for help. Yet she found something that made her blood turn to ice in her veins. Or, it felt like that, at least.

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Slowly, the tears started burning in her eyes, making her vision blurry. The light from his phone blinded her slightly, and she found herself wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, a sob getting stuck in her throat. She just couldn’t believe it.

Right there, on his phone, was a conversation between him and her dad. Her own dad. Her stomach turned as she read through the messages, chest heaving as she tried to calm her erratic breaths.

Steve: You got her calmed yet?

Bucky: No, still squirming and crying. Hoping that she’ll calm down soon.

Bucky: Jesus, she got some lungs on her. I can’t wait to do everything I’ve planned to do to her tomorrow.

Steve: Good. Ruin her. Make sure she doesn’t get away. We need that money.

Bucky: If not, I’ll do what’s necessary. Even though I really don’t want to. You know how I feel about her.

Steve: I couldn’t care less. She isn’t mine anyways.

Her brows furrowed as she read one of the last messages over and over again. What the hell did he mean that I wasn’t his? She felt a strong hand clasp around the wrist of her hand that held the phone in it, forcing a small scream past her lips. She hadn’t even heard Bucky wake up.

“What are you doing?” His eyes were dark and hooded. They were also full of sleep, and she knew he was happy she was still in bed next to him, else she would’ve fallen off the bed. She looked at him through the blue light of the phone, trying to come up with a quick lie to throw him off in his sleepy haze.

“I was just looking at the time.” she tried carefully, the flow of tears drying out slowly. She was shocked, to say the least, but she wouldn’t let him know that she knew... “I usually wake up at night and I always try to track my sleeping pattern…” she had no idea what to say.

She couldn’t believe what she had just read. What did her dad mean? She isn’t mine anyways… The message kept resonating in her head. He huffed and grabbed the phone, turning away from her and resuming his slumber.

Saturday, 9:23pm

She crawled off his lap, standing over him as she undid his pants with quick movements. He lifted his hips to aid her in taking them off, his mind still trying to catch up to what was happening. His boxers followed soon after, his naked glory exposed to her yet again, only this time it was different.

Her hand grasps his cock, giving it a few tugs before she’s closing her lips around the head. He stutters out a moan intertwined with her name, his hands flying into her hair to ground himself. Where the sudden urge to have her lips around his cock was fulfilled, he still didn’t know what she was doing.

All he knew was that it felt heavenly. Her mouth was warm and inviting, her cheeks feeling warm and velvety as she hollowed them against his length. She sucked more than half of his cock into her mouth, causing a deep groan to spill from his lips.

Her hand wrapped around what she couldn’t fit in her mouth, and she slowly stroked his shaft while swirling her tongue around the enlarged head of his cock. She felt his hand tighten in her hair, a string of groans falling from his lips.

The hand that wasn’t wrapped around him pushed the panties off her hips languidly and she slowly rose to her feet, still bent over with her lips around his cock. She releases him with a pop, fluttering kisses along his toned abdomen and up his chest before she straddles his hips, gliding the wetness between her legs over the length of him.

His hands find her hips, both his thumbs rubbing circles into her hips, his head thrown back in pleasure. This pleasure is so different than it’s been previously, it’s so full of emotion for him and possibly also from her. It feels tremendously different from all the other times. His head shifts forward and admires her with hooded eyes before they flutter closed.

When she finally sinks down onto his cock with a strained expression, he feels everything shift within him. It’s like the whole orbit of the world changes. She’s struggling with his size, whimpering as she slowly sinks further down onto him. She falls forward, her hands landing just beside his face and he groans out, his eyes slowly reopening to look at her on top of him.

Her cheeks are flushed pink, her eyes prickling with tears and her bottom lip tugged in between her teeth, desperately trying to accommodate to his size. She’s shifting just a little bit, trying to ease the pain between her hips.

Her hand slid under his neck and grasped the short hairs there, closely followed by her lips meeting his. Her hips grinds over his, their lips gliding over each other’s messily, their tongues dancing together. Her soft pants mixed with his, his hands sliding up to rest on her lower back, guiding her gently.

“Oh, Bucky…” she whispers, and he isn’t sure whether or not he’s dreaming. It feels surreal that she’s moaning his name,it makes him twitch inside of her to finally hear his name spill from her lips that way. Hearing her moan his name combined with the tightness of her heat pushes him further and further towards his impending orgasm.

Her walls clench around him and she whimpers ever so sweetly. He knows she’s close. She just needs the final push. She’s still grinding her hips against his, so he angles them slightly for her clit to rub over his pelvic bone.

It doesn’t take more than a few strokes for her orgasm to overtake her, blinding her vision with black spots and making every hair on her body rise. It feels amazing this time around - with herself being in charge of her pleasure.

He’s close - so close - but if there’s one thing he doesn’t want to do right now, it’s to do something she doesn’t want to, however ambivalent that sounds. He restrains himself or tries to. Her hips are still drawing circles over his, and it’s driving him crazy.

“Cum in me,” she whispers in her haze, and she feels his hands tighten on her hips, his pants filling her ears as he empties his load inside of her. She feels at it trickles down around his length still embedded in her heat as she collapses on top of him, laying her head on his chest.

She slowly comes down from euphoria, relaxing into his arms coming around her to rub over her back. Everything slowly comes back to her, settling within her body. The lovestruck haze she has been in for the past half hour, is slowly coming to an end.

She slowly removes herself from on top of him, his seed trailing down her legs as she makes her way to the bathroom to clean herself. He finds her under the shower, quietly entering the stall behind her. She’s caught up in her thoughts, just standing under the stream of water with her arms wrapped around herself.

“I know what you saw last night. I didn’t want you to find out the way you did. We were supposed to be happy together. Live happily, and you would forget everything about everyone. Just you and me, here.” His body was barely against her back before he was pulling her trembling body back into his arms. She hadn’t even realized she was shaking until then.

“You didn’t want me to find out what, exactly?” She tried softly, jaw trembling uncomfortably at the other things he had said. “How are we ever to live happily?” She didn’t know what Bucky expected of her. There was just something she couldn’t imagine. She turned in his arms, looking up at him.

“You’re going to have to promise me that you won’t react poorly to what I’m about to tell you.” Bucky tried carefully, and she felt everything fall apart in the seconds following the words leaving his mouth. How could she not react to anything? “I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, but…”

Tell her what?! Just two days prior she’d been living contently with her parents, and here, a mere 46 hours later… Everything had changed. She watched his face as he searched for the words, his thoughts conflicting visibly in his face.

“Steve… He isn’t your father.” Bucky started, and she felt her heart fall further into her chest. That hurt. “Your mother had someone else around the time you were conceived. Steve has taken a paternity test, and it’s true.” She felt the tears rise to her eyes yet again mixing with the water from the shower, both from the betrayal of Bucky but also from her parents.

“This has all been set up so Steve can claim you as dead. To get money from the insurance company.” He hides his face with his hand, visibly upset that everything has fallen apart. Everything has certainly not worked out the way it was supposed to. “But I’ve changed my mind. I can’t do this to you.”

“But you’ve already done it...” She whispered, before taking his hand in hers. “What changed?” She cradled his face in her other hand, watching him intently as he rubs his hand over his face. It leaves red marks in its wake, letting her know just how hard he’s rubbing the skin.

“We need to make sure he doesn’t get that money” Bucky grabs her face with his hands in an instant, his eyes searching hers intensely. He thinks over her question, licking his lips before he answers.

“Nothing changed. Even though I wanted this to start with, I never even considered getting rid of you. I want you to know that I’ve never looked at you wrongly before you were legal. I couldn’t bring myself to it, even though I knew you weren’t Steve’s. I never ever wanted to hurt you. Because I love you.”

She sighs and for a short while closes her eyes. A few seconds pass where he’s just watching her.

Then one side of her lips tug up into a smirk, before she’s looking at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. They both know what they have to do.

Then she speaks, instantly letting him know that everything is settled between the two of them.

“I love you. Let’s do it.”

[nothorses]

Top Surgery Journal

I figured it was time to share my top surgery experiences, so folks can potentially learn from them! I'll be updating this as I have more to add.

For context, I am in the U.S. (specifically Washington state), and a legal adult. A lot of my process may not apply to everyone.

Getting Coverage

The first step to scheduling top surgery is getting insurance coverage for it. Talk to your insurance first to figure out if they do cover top surgery, and what you need to do in order to obtain coverage. Oftentimes it won't be listed officially on your plan, but you can get coverage as long as you can prove you need it.

I was lucky enough to have good insurance with trans healthcare included, so all I needed was a letter from my PCP, and a letter from a behavioral health counselor specializing in gender dysphoria. I didn't need any diagnoses, any specific length of time on HRT, any particular presentation, etc.

(If you live in Washington, state law requires that top surgery be fully covered under Medicare. It might be worth it to check your state's laws as well!)

Referrals

I tried to schedule with a surgeon myself, thinking it was my responsibility to get the documents sent over and everything, but my PCP actually referred me when I first told her I had gotten coverage from my insurance.

I ended up going with that referral because the other surgeon was so hard to get ahold of, but my PCP did also send a referral to the surgeon I'd chosen before. I recommend going through your PCP for referrals first, as it takes a lot of the workload off of you- and they'll likely write a referral anyway when sending the documents needed for coverage over.

You may also find that the surgeon you talk to has different requirements than your insurance before performing top surgery. A referral from your PCP might bypass these requirements, but be sure to call them yourself and double-check. Your surgeon's office is supposed to call you to schedule a consultation, and they may not call you at all if you don't have all of those documents in- which means you can be left in limbo indefinitely, not knowing you need to send them more than you already did.

The Consultation

I was able to get a consultation about 5 weeks after calling, which was great! The consultation is your opportunity to ask the surgeon any questions you have, for them to evaluate your chest and what methods might work for you, and for you to see their results (most surgeons do not post result photos online for privacy reasons).

Come into the consultation with all the questions you have written down somewhere, so you don't forget. I asked:

If I could see photographs of his top surgery results

Which incisions he thought would work for me, stressing the things that were important to me: minimal recovery time, no free nipple grafts (I wanted to keep mine, but without risking a failed graft), and minimal chance of needing revisions

What my recovery would look like for the recommended incisions

Whether I will be getting drains (ideally, yes: drains reduce recovery time and the risk of needing revisions)

If he's had patients who have had complications (failed grafts, infections, need for revisions, etc.) and what he's done to reduce the chances of that happening again

My surgeon's results looked good (scars were even and symmetrical, healed nicely, etc.) and he answered my questions really well, so I was happy to go with him!

He recommended the fishmouth method for me, because recovery time would be minimal, there would be no need for nipple grafts, and my chest was small enough for it to work really well.

Scheduling the Surgery

My surgeon didn't have a very long waitlist, but it still took about 3 weeks for the clinic to process my request with my insurance (yes, even though I already had coverage). Once they'd processed that, they called me with a window of time I could schedule within; after a few months, insurance would no longer cover the surgery.

I got an extension, as I was working an intense summer job that I couldn't really take a few weeks off of to recover, then scheduled my surgery over the phone. They asked if I wanted a pre-op appointment, and I declined, as it'd mostly be information covered in the consultation or that could be given to me over the phone.

Preparing for Surgery

I wasn't given a check-in time for the hospital until about 2pm the day before, but they finally did call me and give me some instructions, including:

My check-in time and place

The hospital's phone number, to give to my ride/caretaker in case they had questions

That I was not to bring visitors (cause covid)

To bring my ID, insurance card, and credit card

That I was not to eat or drink anything after 12am that night (I did drink a bit of water with my meds, which they seemed fine with)

To shower with antibacterial soap the night before, and the morning of the surgery

Not to wear hair or skin products like deoderant or gel

Not to wear any jewelry, or anything else removable that wasn't just a clothing item.

When I checked into the hospital, they had my fill out some paperwork including the name and number of my ride and caretaker (which could be the same or separate people; they called the ride number when it was time to pick me up, and the caretaker number with detailed updates on my progress). Then they had me change into the hospital gown and answer some medical history questions, prepped me with an IV, and had a nurse, both anesthesiologists involved in my surgery, and my surgeon check in with me for more information and to answer any last questions I had.

I was told to use the bathroom about 20 minutes before I would be going under for my surgery (to avoid needing a catheter), and once I did, they injected some anesthetic into my IV and I passed the fuck out.

After Surgery

I showed up to the hospital at about 9am, and the prepping ended around 11am. The surgery was scheduled to end at 2pm; I wasn't conscious until about 3pm.

They had me use the restroom again (I passed out on the floor of the bathroom because it was way too soon, lmao), and I was in and out of sleep until I finally used the bathroom on my own at about 5pm. At that point I was a lot more lucid; I had some toast and pudding, and the nurse called my caretaker to go over post-op instructions with us both.

After that I dressed myself, was wheeled out to pick up my pain meds at the in-hospital pharmacy, then hopped in the car with my ride (the wonderful @lillia-pad) at about 5:30pm.

Recovery

I have a pretty high tolerance for anesthetic, so I was mostly just tired during the 36-ish hours the anesthetic continued to wear off. I didn't experience any nausea or lightheadedness either, but I was given an anti-nausea patch behind my left ear, plus some anti-nausea meds, just in case.

My post-op regimen sort of looks like this:

Take 1-2 tablets of oxycodone every 4 hours (for pain)

Take 2 tablets of laxative meds twice a day (cause pain meds cause constipation)

Empty drains twice per day, and record how much was in them

Get up and walk around every couple of hours to reduce the risk of blood clots

Ease into eating again: start with clear fluids, and work up to crackers/bread/etc., to avoid nausea and vomiting.

Lay down propped up on plenty of pillows, and only on your back (no side-sleeping!)

Keep the compression binder/gauze on for the first 48 hours, then remove them to shower as needed (but put them back on after!)

I was pretty lucid by the third day post-surgery, and was able to scale my pain meds down pretty quickly from 2 tabs on the first day, to 1 tab for the next two days, to 1/2 tab. Meds are much more important at night, when there's nothing to distract you from the pain- don't be afraid to ration them for nighttime.

Oxycodone also definitely causes drowsiness, so I took a lot of "oxy naps" about 45-60 minutes after I took my meds, which last between 20 minutes and 2 hours depending on how tired I am.

I have my post-op this week, so I will update this post with more details on my scars and healing then!

[galaxyedging]

When the West Was Wild

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Silva x OFC (no description, a last name is given in later chapters)

Story summary: A women making her own way in the lawless West has her quiet night interrupted by a stranger in need. While helping him she finds a few unmet needs of her own.

Chapter summary: Silva's secret is finally revealed.

Warnings: Smut, allusions to homophobia, violence.

"Silva is a liar." She had all but shouted at Thomas once he opened his door. The short walk back had done nothing to quell her rage.

"About what? How do you know?"

She ignored his questions."When does Mary get back from visiting her family?"

"In three days."

"We need to get back before then."

"Do you think he'd hurt her?

"I don't know. I know he lied to all of us. We covered for him, protected him, if he lied about one thing he may have lied about everything."

"I'll get our travel arrangements made. You go pack. I'll come back to grab your case. You shouldn't be lifting it in your condi...sorry." Clearly Thomas was still adjusting too. A few times since leaving the doctors office she had lay a protective hand on her stomach. She may had not had any attachment to the child but she would have protected it with all she had.

"Just hurry, please. I'll get my things packed. Then I'll head over to the lawyer's office." She entered her room as Thomas headed out.

The journey back was worse. The last of the mild weather seemed behind them. Rain battered the coach. The wind howled, rocking them side to side. It only echoed how she felt inside. There was a storm brewing, she picked apart everything Silva had said, until her head was flooded with suspicions. The anger rolled in her, just waiting to be unleashed.

Silva heard them arriving, the beat of the hooves, the coach left behind in favour of horses to make the journey up the small trail. He appeared from the barn, a smile split his face upon laying eyes on her. Upon laying eyes on him, she dismounted, crossed the space between them and promptly punched him in the face. The blow knocked him to the ground.

"You liar!" She raged at him.

Thomas had to restrain her, she fought against him, kicking her feet out at Silva, who lay on the floor, hand holding his jaw.

"Calm down." Thomas urged.

"Listen to him, think of the baby." Silva added.

"There never was a baby. Was that another lie from you?! Make me feel vulnerable so I would think I'd need you?!" Silva just looked stunned.

Thomas still couldn't keep a good grip on her. She managed to slip free of him. Her ever present apron might have been hung in her kitchen but her every present gun was in the pocket of the winter coat she wore. It was in her hand, pointed a Silva in a second.

"This is the loaded one." She reminded him. "Up. Inside. Now."

"What are you..?" Thomas stepped closer.

"I'm getting answers Thomas. Please just wait out here." Thomas nodded. He understood that if Silva had lied, he'd hurt her the most, she deserved to be the one who got answers.

Silva walked ahead, she kept him in sight, gun trained on him. Without looking away she kicked the door firmly shut behind them. As the door slammed Silva stepped back. In one fluid motion, he took her out stretched arm under his, yanked the gun from her hand, he did a half turn then barged her into the wall, his hand came up to cover her mouth. "I will tell you the truth, I will not let you hold me at gun point."

She was too shocked to do anything at first. When she caught up with the moment, she immediately bit his hand. He yowled before whipping it away.

"Everything okay in there?" Thomas called from the porch.

Silva backed off, unloading her gun with one hand. Both hands were raised as the bullets hit the floor.

"Fine." She called back.

Her eyes bored into Silva. "You lied. About why you were wanted."

He visible deflated, she wasn't sure if it was relief or defeat. "You know the truth?" He slumped into the nearest chair.

"That you lay with a Sheriff son?" She asked.

He winced. "I know you must think me a deviant. I promise you I would never harm you. I was just weak. I gave in to my desires. Despite what you may think of me, my intentions towards you have always been honourable. I don't expect you to understand my despicable behaviour...."

"I'm not upset about what you did." Silva's face contorted in surprise, confusion, mild relief. "It doesn't matter to me if you want to lay with a man or a woman. Do you really think that little of me?"

That got him up on his feet. "No, I...." He walked over, tried to take her hand.

She waved him off. "I'm upset you lied. I thought I knew you. I thought I..." She didn't realise how close he hand gotten.

Her breath caught in her throat as he tilted his head. "That you what?"

He was so close that she had to turn her head to avoid his gaze. "I think you know what."

He lay his hand on her waist, getting even closer to her so she had no choice but to look at him. "Tell me."

"I thought that I loved yo.." His lips were on hers before the end of the sentence. All the tension between them snapped. Silva wrapped an arm round her waist pulling her closer. When she gasped, his tongue rolled against hers, as he stole her breath. It was everything she had wanted these last few months.

"Stop." She pushed him away. Not trusting herself near him, she moved away.

"How I feel about you doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. To us." She gestured to the door with Thomas waiting behind.

"I'm sorry. For lying. For staying. All of it. I don't expect your forgiveness. I just want you to believe that I didn't do it to hurt you. Please." He followed her path across the room, hands out, in placating gesture.

"You regret staying?" The hurt rang in her voice.

"I regret putting you in this position. I don't regret our time together or falling in love with you, despite how selfish that was. It's been twenty-five years since my heart felt like this, I wasn't strong enough to fight it and leave this time."

Her eyes brimmed with questions as turned to the door.

"We're fine here Thomas." She told her friend upon opening the door.

"Are you sure?" He looked behind her to Silva.

"Yes. You go home and rest. Thank you for everything." She gave him the hug she had longed to give him the entire journey but saved through fear of getting him hurt.

With Thomas gone, she closed the door and headed to the kitchen. Silently, she made tea. Setting it on the table, she sat, waiting for Silva to join her. When he did she poured him a cup.

"Do you still love them?" She asked coolly.

Silva looked at her but didn't speak. She continued. "My husband was my first love. I fell in love before I knew better. As I grew and matured I realised I didn't love him as I thought. The love started to die before he left. His abandonment killed it completely. You said you left your love. I can't imagine that love just disappears."

Silva took a sip of his tea before replying. "No, it doesn't I suppose."

"Do you know where they are now?"

"Yes, he's a Sheriff in a small town, back east a ways."

"Have you been there?"

"Why?"

"To see him...to see if he still thinks of you..."

"What does it matter now? He doesn't have my heart now." His hand reached out to her resting on the table. Tentatively, she slip her's into his. It felt right, no matter how much logic told her it was wrong.

Their old routine started up again. The change in seasons meant that their outdoor chores had lessened. They spent more time indoors. Silva returned from town on day with a harmonica. At first it was a welcome distraction. She had sat next to him, enjoying the upbeat melody. He was so skilled, he play fluidly. Yet another thing she didn't know about him. It was stupid to get caught up on all the things she didn't know. Silva was almost fifty. He had travelled further than she had. There were probably thousands of notable stories about his life. She had to keep telling herself that she knew the important things. He was capable of great love and selflessness. He was loyal, kind, smart, brave. Who he loved, where he had been, who he'd had to kill to survive, that wasn't important. Sensing the shift in her mood, he stopped playing.

"I'm going to turn in for the night." He told her as tucked the harmonica away.

"That's a good idea." She gave him the best smile she could. It was exhausting trying to figure out the best way to act on her feelings. Could she give herself over to loving a man she couldn't bring herself to completely trust? She reached her room first, she stood at the door, waiting to say goodnight. He had taken to pressing a kiss to her cheek. Just a light press of his lips before he went to his room. Tonight started no difference, a light press before he pulled away.

"Silva." Her fingers slid inside his shirt, gripping the material to pull him closer. "Lay with me."

His lips met hers for the second time, softer, slower, this time. They danced lightly across hers as they undressed. Once they were bare she lay on the bed, Silva crossed the stream of moonlight coming in through the gap in the curtains. He was beautiful. The moonlight revealed every curve of muscle, his skin was smooth save for a few scars dotted across him. His manhood stood proud in a dusting of hair. Her thighs clenched at the prospect of having him inside of her. Climbing on to the bed he kneel between her legs. He lowered his body over hers. The softness of his stomach made contact firm before the firmness of his length grazed her folds. She whimpered at the contact. With his lips on hers he entered her. They groaned into each other's mouths. His forehead came to rest on her's, his gaze never wavered as steadily brought her closer to her peak. When she hit it, he gritted his teeth as she moaned beneath him. As soon as she began to descend, he pulled out, his warm seed painting her mound. His lips pressed to her temple before he moved to clean them up.

Once they were clean, he lay next to her, propped up on his side. She still lay on her back, her head turned slightly to give him a small smile. Her hand came up to play with his curls formed by the damp around his hairline. "I love you." She began. "My brain tells me it would be foolish to trust you completely but my heart loves you utterly."

His kissed the palm of the hand at his temple. "I can't ask for more than that. It's more than an old fool like me deserves."

"You're not so old. You still have the vigor of a much younger man." She looked to were he was being to harden again.

The passion between them returned as she let go of everything that was holding her back. He pulled her on top of him. Thrusting up he filled her completely. She howled in pleasure, her fingers clawed his chest looking for purchase. His hands gripped her hips as took her roughly, his hips slammed upwards at a rapid pace. Before she could come this time, he pushed her up and held over him. He groaned her name as he spilled his release over his stomach.

Cleaned up and back in bed again he lay on his stomach, lasily trailing kisses over breasts. "Was that satisfying for you? You didn't..." His head dipped between the valley of her breasts. His cheeks flushed a little.

"It was satisfying but it if you want me to...." her hand came up to guide his. She placed it between her legs. Guide his fingers to the swollen bundle of nerves begging for his touch. She moaned as he made contact. He looked up at her, studying her face curiously, her hand guided him for a few tight circles until he pulled his hand away.

"Here?" He asked circling his fingers again.

"Yes." She panted.

Silva smiled against the delicate skin of her chest, his fingers kept tracing their path. As her breathing spend up so did his fingers. Of all the things she had taught him this instantly became his favourite as she arched against him. If he though the way she said his name was a beautiful melody, the way she moaned it was symphony. It replayed in his mind as they drifted off to sleep.

Tags @kirsteng42 @babydarkstar @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel

[sylverstorms]

Cassandra x Maiden ----Anonymity Ch.7

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6

Cassandra gradually starts taking up more of your time. Or, more accurately, demands it like it’s her birthright.

Every day, you wake her up with a kiss to her shoulder or neck and a whisper of her name. She comes to you when she’s bored at random times during your shifts, to either talk –complain— about her sisters or to outright distract you. There are times at night when you’ll feel the chill of her slip into your bed and press up against your back, but she’s always gone by morning light, like a dream.

She used to be just another component to your nightmares. Now… she’s what takes them away.

And you’re afraid.

That you’re growing to like the time with her while she’s just playing around, that it will cut that much deeper when you find yourself on the end on her sickle. Because how else can it end, you reason, between the two of you?

The thought momentarily makes your liplock with Cassandra taste bitter, despite the sweet strawberry taste of her lip balm -and no way she’s putting that on for you, right?

She has you pressed deep into a plush armchair with her palm on your chest, while her thighs are locked tight on either side of yours. You want to tell her that you should stop –both because you’re literally in the open and anyone can walk in on you and because it’s late—but her lips are doing wicked things to your neck and you can’t find your voice long enough.

When Cassandra starts grinding down on you though, rather impatiently too, you have to speak up before she starts something neither of you can finish.

“Cassandra.” you say breathily. A sharp nip comes over your pulse, then slippery lips close around the area. “Ah! Cassandra. You’ll be late for dinner.”

She tsks and pulls back, expression much like a kid that got her hand slapped away from the cookie jar. She dismounts you with the same sour look, smoothing down her robes.

“Walk me there.” she orders.

You rise and fall into step beside her, trying not to linger on how strange it feels. It should be nothing, really, considering all the activities the two of you nightly indulge in, but it’s… something.

Cassandra, uncharacteristically quiet, keeps gazing out the windows as though calculating or pinpointing something while you make your way to the dining room.

She comes to a sudden halt just before you reach it, turns to you, steals a quick kiss and then quickly leaves you behind, a colder aura about her as she strolls inside.

You hear Lady Dimitrescu’s voice, but not what she says. Once a few minutes have passed and you can safely blend into the background, you join the other maids on standby within.

You used to hate it here. Having them all in front of you like that, serving them wine, when they’re all to blame for taking any semblance of normalcy out of your life. You never glance at what they’re eating. You still dislike dinner time.

But.

When Alcina makes a snide comment about Heisenberg and you hear Cassandra’s laugh above Daniela’s giggle and Bela’s chuckle…

It no longer seems so bad.

-

-

“Bela, stay a moment.” Cassandra says after Lady Dimitrescu leaves with Daniela in tow.

“Oh, no.” The blonde huffs under her hood.

“I didn’t say anything. Yet.” The younger sibling raises her hands in exasperation.

“When you go ‘Bela~’” You bite your lip to keep your expression neutral as you’re cleaning the table because hearing the normally stoic sister mimic Cassandra’s voice like that is just plain gold. “It’s never good.” her tone turns flat once more.

Cassandra very pointedly rolls her pretty eyes. “I need you to cover for me.”

“See?” Bela sighs. “Absolutely not.”

“Well, it wasn’t really a question, I was just trying to give you the illusion of choice.” Cassandra shrugs. “I’m going out tonight.”

“What?” Bela damn near hisses. “Have you lost your mind?”

“It’s fine it’s, like, thirteen degrees.”

“How is that fine?”

The elder sister’s gaze then flits to you. There is no other maid in the vicinity that can overhear them, but she’s clearly uncomfortable with you picking up the implications of their conversation.

You still don’t get it. You guessed their aversion to sunlight has to do with their mutations… but why would the cold be an issue?

The survivor in you wants to know more. To know if this is something that can be used to your advantage when the time and circumstances are right for a potential escape.

Another part of you… just plain worries.

“I know what I’m doing.” Cassandra says, stern.

“Then you’re doing it alone.” Bela turns to leave…

Except.

“Oh, well. Guess mother should know about that little maid you’ve been orbiting around, lately.” Cassandra comments. “The one you even did a favor for? Just imagine her disappointment in you, the shining example of the family, stooping so low.”

Bela’s back goes rod-straight. The piercing look she sends Cassandra sends ice down your spine. You think she’s going to pounce… yet she exhales.

“One. Hour.” Bela states. “If you’re not back in one hour I’m coming to drag your sorry behind to mother. And she—” A gloved finger points directly to you, “Won’t be coming back with you in one piece.”

Wait.

What?

-

-

You didn’t know Cassandra planned to take you with her. But she didn’t deny it when Bela pointed to you. After her sister left, all she said was: ‘Dress well.’

Which brings you to your current position, pacing by the entrance hall of the castle, in a warm coat and two layers of clothes underneath. You turn to look behind when you finally hear her steps descending the staircase.

And— you freeze.

Because Cassandra is not wearing her usual robes. She’s dressed in all black, yes, but the outfit is tight on her form, fitting every curve, hugging her wonderful legs like a second skin. She’s wearing knee-high boots instead of heels and her hooded, gothic overcoat reaches down to mid-thigh.

There’s not a single patch of her skin visible other than her face��� and you can’t, for the life of you, explain why it’s that hot.

“You’re staring, plaything.” she chastises, yet doesn’t sound like she minds. Rather, she’s smirking.

“Uh—” you can’t really form words.

“We need to hurry, clock’s ticking.” she says as she jiggles the very key you’ve looked everywhere during work hours for. The key to freedom. To leaving the castle.

Cassandra double-checks her clothes before she opens the door. You file it as useful information for later as you hurry to catch up to her.

The path to the village –or what’s left of it— through the forest is… difficult. Mainly because Cassandra is entirely unbothered by any and all obstacles and moves like she’s on a walkway, leaving you to fight with every rock hidden in the snow.

You manage. Somehow.

Until a distant howl makes you jump and quite literally crash into her side.

Cassandra laughs. It’s a clear, beautiful sound in the dead of night. “My, my. Scared of a Lycan in my presence?”

“I thought it was just a regular wolf!” You whisper, mortified.

Yellow eyes blink at you. Then her gloved hand raises to yours, taking it in a secure grip. You didn’t realize you were shaking, yet the tremors quickly cease when she does that. It’s just your heart that still feels like it’s going to give out on you, but for an entirely different reason, now.

Cassandra safely leads you to the village. It looks more or less the same, except empty, void of life. You don’t linger on memories. You don’t.

“Show me your house.” she says.

You never thought you’d be tracing the steps of your front porch so soon. You only have to push the door for it to open. And the inside is just as you remembered. A quaint little house. It’s simply not… home, anymore.

Nothing is.

Maybe nothing ever was.

And the thought makes a thin, cracked wall inside you finally give. Cassandra is saying something a few paces behind you, but your vision has blurred, your eyes sting and hot, salty rivers roll past your lids.

“Are you listening to me?” she asks. “...Plaything?”

You can’t talk. If you do, you’ll sob and break to pieces on the floor like a pushed glass statue.

Cassandra’s grip is tight and demanding on your elbow when her fingers curl above it, but she turns you with gentleness you’d never think her capable of. You do not meet her eyes.

Her other hand comes up to your neck.

You can’t, you can’t—

“Alexia.”

Your eyes snap to hers when she says it, from the shock. You didn’t think she even knew your name. Cassandra shifts her weight from one leg to the other, then seems to decide on something and wipes the tears beading at your chin away with her thumb.

“Pack what you wish. We don’t have long.”

As you turn into your bedroom and open your wardrobe to pack a few clothes into a bag, just to feel a tad more yourself when you’re in your room in the castle, the sound of your name falling from her lips follows you.

Haunts you.

You have half a mind to get your mp3, phone and chargers before you return to her. Cassandra is holding whatever she wanted to get from the village in a box tucked between her arm and body.

“Come.” she orders. Her hand settles on your elbow again and practically drags you along.

You don’t talk on your way back to the castle.

From one of the many windows overlooking the front yard, you spot Bela’s eyes on the two of you until she retreats into the shadows. Rigidly, Cassandra enters and immediately goes by the large fireplace to warm up. You only then notice how much more fluid her movements get. Or rather, how sluggish she was during the trip.

You shut the door and turn the key and realize it’s much easier to handle your situation when you’re the one locking yourself inside.

You take off your coat and scarf, then make to head for your bedroom —according to your calculations you’ll only get 3 hours of sleep— until… you notice how cold Cassandra looks.

She’s one step away from hugging the flames. And you can still hear her call you by your name in your head.

Great. Another thing to keep me up at night. You think as you approach her.

Slowly, so as to not scare her, you slip your arms around her slim waist from behind. She’s like a block of ice in your embrace, at first. Her body thaws gradually, to the point she’s fully relaxed against you.

“Thank you for today.” the words don’t come easy –they’re like pulling teeth— but you manage to get them out clearly enough.

“You’ll thank me in very many ways, plaything.” she says. “Having your own belongings in the castle is not a privilege any maid gets. But.” her voice, although quiet, hardens the slightest amount. “If, despite my generosity, you harbor dreams of escape… I will turn them to nightmares.”

Your blood goes cold in your veins. You can only nod against her shoulder.

Cassandra turns in your arms to look at you.

“And if you ever try to leave me alone here… I will find you and kill you myself.”