#got a good grade on a portuguese exam

[extemporary-username]

Went to see maneskin today, loved it

[fireheartwraith]

I feel like I should explain ENEM, aka why the brazilians have been grieving since the date of the november 4th event was announced

ENEM stands for Exame Nacional do Ensino Médio (National High School Exam). It happens once a year since 1998, and, although at first it was just to gage how the education was on a national level, it soon became a gateway to university.

The test takes place on two days (that are now two consecutive sundays), from 13:30 to 19:00, and each day the student has to answer 90 questions. The first day is always human sciences and languages (Portuguese language and literature, foreign language (English or Spanish), history, geography, sociology, and philosophy) plus an essay. Nobody knows what the essay is about until the moment of the exam, so there’s always a lot of speculation. The theme is always about a social issue: last year's, for exemple, was "the challenges for the appreciation/respect of the traditional communities and peoples of Brazil", like the quilombolas and natives. The second day tests the students' knowledge on maths and exact sciences (biology, physics, and chemistry).

ENEM is famously a very "read-y" test. Every question requires a lot of reading comprehension, interpretation, and interdisciplinarity. Maybe the internet has done americans wrong, but the SAT's look so easy in comparison. We always make fun of them by saying Harvard it's not actually hard, it's just expensive.

Which brings me to my next point: college! The grade you get on the ENEM can get you into a university using three different programs

SISU: gets you into a public (and free) university (the best university in the country is public btw, University of São Paulo - USP)

PROUNI: gets you a scholarship in a private university (it can get you a 100% scholarship but you need a VERY good grade)

FIES: student loans

And, obviously, the better your grades, the better your chances. You are graded from 0 to 1000 in every subject and also get a general grade. So if you want to study physics, you don’t need to do great in literature, but you should still try to get a decent grade. The more competitive courses, like medicine (there's no such thing was pre-med), can get down to the decimals, especially in prestigious schools.

ENEM isn't the only test you can do to get into a university, though! Some schools have their own test. USP, for exemple, has the FUVEST, so you can get in through either test, but FUVEST is always paid and you can only do it in, like, three cities in São Paulo, while the ENEM happens countrywide, which is why it's so important. The tests are called "vestibular" and the people taking them are "vestibulando".

Therefore, most 3rd year high school students take the test. It's basically a rule to do it if you want to get into a university, but if you are not on your last year of high school, you have to pay to take it (my case). Some people have to go to another city to take the test, it's a whole thing.

This year, the first day of ENEM is happening on Sunday, November 5th. And QSMP's most important event so far is happening on Saturday night, November 4th. May the Lord have mercy on our souls

You can check out the "atrasados do enem" for some giggles though. It's the "event" that happens because some people always arrive after the gates close at 13:00 and then break down crying in the middle of the street. It got so famous people started hiring actors to pose as vestibulandos just to go viral.

Now you know a bit more about brazilian culture!

Here's a link to download last year's exam if you want: first day | second day

[guess-ill-dye]

Vent post

Everyone is so nice to me. I liked a very depressive vid abt how i hate talking abt how i feel (tumblr rlly helps honestly) and my friend saw it and said she would always be there for me and now I'm wondering why was she nice? What did I do to deserve this? Why are all my friends so nice? I am just loud, easily get angry and I'm not even that funny, I'm just rlly socially stupid and they think it's funny. Now that I think about it, I can't remember being as nice to them as they are for me. Am I just a bad person? Yn I had philosophy and we talked about that. We are all bad persons. But how can they be?? Is the world that unfair? Its the 2nd day of school and I'm already done with it. I loved the classes part, it's more all the expectation I'm putting on myself to get all 20s, go into medicine and be a doctor and then... idk.. but I've been so anxious abt it. I feel me whole heart tighten, my throat tighten, I want to vomit, my stomach hurts, just at the mere mention of how important grades are. I know I have potential. I'm smart. I used to be smart. Then I needed to study because my bare intelect is not enough anymore. I'm no longer the person that when the teacher asks who got the highest grade I'm the obvious answer. That happened. Twice. In three years. But 12 yo me would be ashamed of my 60%s and 50%s in 8th grade and 9th grade. I would cry. I didn't cry. I just accepted I was dumb now. No-one told me that. I just knew my parents thought it. They never seem proud of me. I had such a good grade in my 9th grade exams. 94 in maths and 92 in portuguese. It was splendid. I was so proud. I even won a bet. They seemed so apathetic. Like it was another 70 something on a test if actually tell them about for once. I need to be smart again. For a long time I thought all that was goof abt me was that I was smart. MY FRIENDS THINK I AM SMART. I DONT UNDERSTAND. HOW?? They didn't see old me. Before I changed schools. When I was someone and everyone knew my name and I knew theirs. Is it the glasses? Do they make me look smarter then I am? IS IT JUST THEM BEING NICE AGAIN?? being nice to me even tho I don't deserve it. I cant be nice. When I try to I just run out of words and trip over my syllables and then what comes out is and utter mess of what I wanted to say. I'm so sure that if someone sees this they will say that I'm nice and I deserve it but I can't believe it. I write so many nice words for everyone. My pinned post. I just can't say them to myself really. I wish I could be in peopled heads. I wish I knew what makes me worth being around. My Internet name is Alien exactly because I always felt so alienated from others. Like they speak a secret language I don't. Today at lunch my friend asked me if the person she used to like then disappointed her had any red flags and which. I just answered I didn't know him, but he looked kinda ugly. I was honest. Then they laughed. I didn't get it at all. He did look weird in the one photo I remember seeing him. I asked what was funny and they said my tone of speaking. I talked like I usually do. Maybe that's it. Idk sorry for this I'm just super anxious bcs of school. Yeah

[beforeiread-studies]

21.08.2023(1) || I have passed all the exams. I don't have any exams left before graduation. It's so surreal to type.

The Portuguese exam went really well. I got a 30 e lode, which is basically A++. It felt good to have that be my last grade, like a coronation to my efforts of the last three years.

Those efforts are not over though. Now I need to write my dissertation and only then I'll be able to graduate, either in October or in November.

But seriously, I'm too stunned to speak at the moment.

[333spiritual]

May 2024 🕯️🕯️🕯️

every desired on this list concretes itself into my reality instantly, so quickly. Every wish is given to me before may 31

• fix my airpods

• permanently heal my hand

• permanently heal all my ear piercings

• perfect strong healthy nails (hand+feet)

• i have a super golden glowy tan hydrated perfect skin

• my hair is super blonde, hydrated and healthy, sem any split ends

• my hair it’s naturally straight

• lots of cute guys flirting with me

• i have a new fling/situation-ship with a hot and cool guy

• comprar coisas para porto

• i got gifted new perfumes, makeup, sunglasses, shoes, clothes, accessories, products

• going out a lot and having lots of fun

• meus dentes são muito brancos

• i get more and more beautiful everyday

• everything always happens the way i wish them to be, i always get what i want practically instantly

• i get the best grade on the portuguese exam

• i get gym results so quickly

• i have my dream face (green big almond eyes with positive canthal tilt, symmetrical face, perfect side profile)

• i have my dream body (175 cm de altura, symmetrical shoulders, good posture, vs angel body, perky boobs and butt)

• i am 5’9ft/175cm de altura

• i grow taller everyday until i reach my desired height

• my parents are blessed with 53k reais this month

• i got scouted and now i'm signed with the best modeling agency in brasil

• people compliment me everyday and tell me that i should be a model

[pixiestookourstardust]

I PASSED MY LINGUISTIC EXAM!

[nana2009]

FUNAMUFANGIRL IS NOT DEeAAaaAaAD my shitty laptop was(and prob still is) having problems connecting the charger so once it died i practically spent 2 weeks without it until today when i returned from my mother’s place and my grandma said it suddenly turned on oh well, i logged the tumblr on my phone now too so i hope to still be able to update!! sorry if i worried any(no)one T_T

[atalho-s]

Sweet Sugar

1 | Subterranean Homesick Alien

(gif it’s not mine! let me know if you’re the owner!)

pairing: tom holland x reader / tom holland x brazilian reader (she’s from brazil here, but you can picture her being of any place that you want! Since the story wouldn’t change bc of that) 

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut, but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.4 k

Summary: Y/n has always been best friends with Harrison and Tom. Since childhood they've always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom?

A conflict of feelings, the non-acceptance of falling in love and the fear of losing her best friend, all in the head of an 17-year-old teenager. And on top of that, still having to fear of not being accepted for college.

a/n: 

This is a series i have in portuguese on my wattpad! It’s kinda long and have 2 parts haha but i decided to translate to post here too :) 

It was my first fanfic ever, so be aware lol

I never been to europe, so i’m sorry for any mistake about city features or how school works...

I just want to thank @petesrparker​ : Gio you’re the best and thank you for always helping me and hype up this series since the beginning! Seriously, you’re the best, this story would be nothing without you 😭❤

She even did a playlist for this! ikr? She’s amazing 💕 you can check out here if you want! 

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It was 2 minutes to 7am and I was late for school. Running to put on my warm sweatshirt and getting ready psychologically to go out in a cold weather, I grabbed my keys and tried to lock the door almost dropping my backpack on the floor. It was almost summer, but my town wasn't disappointed in having very cold mornings and hot afternoons.

"Shit," I murmured as I kicked the door, insisting that didn't want to close it. "Why hasn't my mom called someone to fix this thing yet?" I spoke to myself and finally managed to close it hearing a click. Coming down the stairs practically running, I closed the small gate and strode down the street.

I lived with my parents in a town called Kingston-upon-Thames, in a tiny two-bedroom house, very close to the school. You just need to walk about 4 blocks and voilá, I could already see the entrance gate and the familiar faces of the gringos. I was in the last year of high school, just turned 17 and I was born in Brazil, but grew up in London, when my father had to move because of his work, when I was only 6 years old. Obviously we weren't rich, my father worked with woodwork, and my mother currently worked in a small flower shop in the city center. But when my father received an offer to move to another country, he didn't think twice. Learn another culture, a new language and still earn some good money?An offer that cannot be refused.

The first time we arrived it was very strange, only my father knew intermediate English and my mother and I obviously did not know a single word. But we quickly befriended a family that lived on our street: the Osterfields. Jenna and Carter were the parents of two children: Harrison, the same age as me and little Charlotte (newborn at the time). Harrison and I immediately became inseparable, and he became like a brother to me and our families became one.

Obviously with him, also came nothing more and nothing less than: the Holland family. Nikki and Dom had 4 male children, one my age: Tom, Harry and Sam twins, 3 years younger and Paddy who was born 2 years later. So the family just grew, our parents became best friends, and me, Harrison and Tom became an unbeatable trio. There was no Y/n, without Tom and Harrison and vice versa, we're always together.

We went to the same school since always. As Haz lived only a few houses below mine, we meet and go together and Tom, who lived on the other side of the school, met us at the gate every day.

I went down the street and saw Haz sitting on the wall in front of his house, fiddling with his cell phone with a earphone, as soon as I approached he raised his head and smiled.

- Finally, I thought you aren’t going to class today. - He said getting up and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

- Good morning to you too Haz. - I said laughing and hooking my arm on him, while we went down the street. - You know that now that my mom is working on the other side of town she leaves early and then I have to wake up by myself, which is clearly a problem.

- Sleepyhead, - he said and I playfully tapped his arm while he laughed.

- Well, i'm, what can I say? Sleeping is the best thing in the world. - I said. - Did you do the history homework?

- Wich history homework? - He stopped suddenly looking at me in shock.

- Harrison Osterfield, you are not going to tell me that you forgot the work that I talked about it every day for almost a month. - I said putting my hand on my waist scolding him.

- Well ... I completely forgot. - Haz said scratching the back of his head with the face of a stray dog. -I was busy decorating the lines from the play.

- Wow Harrison, that way you will fail and then you'll  came crying to me. 

- Ok mom, sorry! But was it for today? Can I copy it and give it to you later? 

- Ok, but just this time, and do me a favor to exchange practically all the words I used or i'll be in trouble. - I said taking out my briefcase, while he held my backpack and I handed him my work. 

- I love you... - he said giving me back my backpack and hugging me, kissing my head afterwards.

- And I don't love you at all, bummer. - I giggled and we rounded the corner of the school.

Tom was already leaning against the side of the gate with his backpack between his legs, talking to a guy who was doing theater with him and Harrison. He was laughing at something, wearing a black hoodie, his hair was a little messy under his hood and his nose was slightly red from the cold. For some reason my stomach did some flips as we approached.

Harrison and Tom were very handsome, there was no denying it, they were half nerds, half bad boys (in the sense of forgetting to study for the exam or not doing their homework once in a while), they did theater, they were nice and got along very well with girls since they started puberty. As for me, I was the nerd who was always concerned about grades and getting into the journalism college, I didn't always have excellent grades, but they were enough to pass or impress the professors when I felt inspired. I wasn't popular, but not a completely ghost too, because being best friends with the boys ended up calling attention in some way.

The only boyfriend I had was a guy named Steven, and also my first kiss, to at age 15, but we broke up last year. Steven was cool, but we had different views on things and use to think about completely different futures, so we thought it was best to broke up. And since then I'm alone and very well, thank you.

But since I broke up with Stev, for some reason I've started to have some weird feelings for Tom. Weird in the meaning of being shy around him, with whatever he does, or whatever words he exchanges with me. Which is ridiculous, because he's my childhood friend, and I never felt any of that with Haz, so why with him I feel? I always saw Haz as my brother, but with Tom it's different, and I never understood why.

Anyway, here I was with my heart beating faster and faster as we approached. As soon as we got close, Tom waved goodbye to the guy he was talking. He grabbed his backpack off the floor and patted Haz on the back, kissing my forehead afterwards, which I immediately feel my cheeks burning with embarrassing, but no one realized.

- Hey mates! Finally! I thought you weren't coming anymore.- he said as the three of us went through the gate towards the school.

- The madam here, was the one who ended up sleeping too much, I was also waiting a long time.- Haz said and I rolled my eyes, making Tom smile.

- I understand Y/n, I also love sleeping... By the way, I said I was waiting a long time, but actually I just arrived. - He laughed - Your mother started working on that flower shop, right?

- Yeah! She started today, so I'm still getting used to waking up just with the alarm without my mom pulling me from under the covers by my hair.- I replied and they both laughed.

- Which class do you guys have now? - Tom asked as we went up the stairs to the first floor where the class rooms were.

-Math- Haz said, rolling his eyes. - Actually, I really have to go, because if I show up a second late again Mr. Jones will kill me. - he said giving us a brief wave and running to the opposite side.

- I have philosophy, thank God, one of my favorite subjects.- I said raising my hands to the sky as a joke and Tom laughed.

- Wow y/n, I thought your favorite subject was biology and English.- he said and I stuck out my tongue, but feeling a little warm inside, these subjects were the ones we had together.

- Anyway, see you later? I have physics now unfortunately.

- Yeah, I'll be at our new favorite place. - I giggle, it had been a week since me, Haz and Tom found a perfect place to stay during the break, which was on the back of the school, on a hill next to a tree, where we had a full view of the students down there. It was perfect, because the warm morning sun was shining and we'd be left on the ground gossiping and watching what others were doing.

- See you there shortie. -Tom said kissing the top of my head, giving me a wink and leaving towards his class room.

- Look who's talking. - I said loudly for him to hear and he showed me his middle finger from a distance, laughing at my face.

I turned around smiling and headed towards my class. The first two classes were normal, nothing new, I was still a little sleepy, so I ended up almost sleeping in the second geography class, where I was almost kicked out by Mr Wilson, who let It pass this time. The alarm hit indicating it was break time and I thanked God, practically running to stay out in the sun.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and my headphones, hitting play on Radiohead's Subterranean Homesick Alien song and walking outside. I saw Steven with his new girlfriend Lily right on the way out, they were talking, hugging each other and looked very happy, he saw me and gave a smile from a distance where I reciprocated. Our break up went very well, without resentment, which made me happy.

I walked up the small hill and saw Haz and Tom already at our meeting place. Tom was lying down looking at the sky while Haz was sitting propped up in the tree.

- Did you guys miss me? - I said sitting next to Haz.

- Yeah, we were even thinking about how we could handle living without you y/n- Haz said and Tom chuckled.

- I know you two love me. - I said shrugging.

- In fact, we were arguing when you're going to have a new boyfriend. - Tom said and I froze.

- And who said I want a new boyfriend? I asked raising my eyebrow.

- We know you y/n, you starting to have your head in the clouds lately, always retweeting couple things and posting romantic songs, I can see that you're falling in love again.- Tom said, still looking at the sky.

- I agree. - Haz said taking the side of my earphone and putting into his ear. - She's even listening to Radiohead! And you always listen to Radiohead when you're in love. - I gave them a sarcastic laugh and pulled the earphone of his ear turning off the music making Haz laugh.

- You guys are idiots, I'm fine alone thank you, I just want to focus on my studies from now on. - I said and they both made a "hmm" in unison, making me roll my eyes.

- Actually, we were discussing where we're going to celebrate my 17th birthday tomorrow.- Tom said changing the subject, turning his head and covering the sun with his hand to look at me.

-Tomorrow is your birthday?- I asked pretending to be surprise and Tom rolled his eyes playfully.

- I know you two always look forward to my birthday, because you love me and want to surprise me.- he said and Haz and I laughed ironically. - But Marcos offered his house, because his parents are traveling, so we could make a cool party there! So I was thinking about calling the theater people and some of our friends like Julian, Tuwaine and etc, maybe getting some drinks too... - Tom said sitting down and cleaning some leaves that were stuck on his hoodie.

- I think it's a good idea, I'm not much of partying or drinking, but with you both I always have fun.- I said and Haz rested his head on my shoulder.

- Good to know we make you happy Y/n. - Haz said and I giggle patting his head.

- So we meet tomorrow? You guys want to stop by my house so we could go together?

- Actually, I have to go to my granny first, so I'll go from there.- Haz said and Tom gave him a thumbs up.

- Y/n you can go? Around 7pm it's ok?

-Of course Tommy. - I said and he smiled at the nickname.

- Okay, I'll wait for you at 7pm and I'll send you the address, mate.- he said to Haz as we got up listening to the bell ringing indicating the break was over.

- Deal!- Haz said.

- Deal. - I also said as we went down back to class.

The last classes were history, the subject I had with Haz and he returned my homework, assuring me that he had changed the words. We spend the whole class sending notes talking about nonsense and making jokes. Haz and I were pretty good at sending notes without the professor seeing.

But I confess I was puzzled by what the boys had said earlier, how did they have the impression that I was in love? I wasn't, was I? Was I showing too much that i had feelings for Tom? I don't know, I just know that the whole story had left me with immense anxiety.

The class was over and I said goodbye to Haz, because he had theater with Tom and I didn't have any extra activities that day. The only days that i had something was on monday, tuesday and thursday, when I have a school reinforcement to improve my notes to enter college. Which was a relief, since I had to run to the mall to look for a gift to give Tom for his birthday. I had been looking for weeks and I didn't find anything interesting to give to my best friend. Best friend isn't it? Nothing more than this...

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a/n: if you liked and want to be tagged on the next chapters let me know! 😊

[partangel]

Hi! Do you mind me asking where you work at? And how do you manage work and university at the same time? I may have to start working alongside studying and I’m kinda scared I won’t be able to do well on none of the two things

hello dear, sorry for the late reply! right now i work as a cashier part-time (20h weekly), im quitting after this month (& looking for something else). i've worked for most of my college degree, im on my third year and during my second and (last half) first year i worked in a customer help call center (17ish hours). im putting my answer under the cut because it got big, sorry about that! hope it helps!

i think the biggest advice i can give you is that no matter what you choose to do, try to get a job that is light in terms of physical effort. i know that most people end up working on a restaurant or fast food... do not accept it. theres a good reason thats the easiest job to land nowadays and its because nobody wants to do it due to how tiring and overwhelming it can be. i worked in that sector for 3 months, i quit after uni started. try to land something else, from call center to supermarket to clothes shop. anything else. itll still be tiring, but itll be endurable. i respect immensely my peers that do so, but its really, really challenging and as a first experience i would not recommend it to you.

in my opinion, working only on the weekends is a big motivation breaker, youll spend your week thinking of having to spend your entire weekend there. its better to just do 4 hour shifts for 5 days and have rotative free days, you are normally given one full weekend off monthly and one sunday, anyways.

this may be a portuguese thing but theres a big gap between full time students and students that work. most of the latter have trouble reconcilling when it comes to group assignments but are understanding, while the others are just straight up rude and demanding and do not understand you cannot spend 3 hours on a video chat choosing a powerpoint slide thats pretty enough. if you dont want to be stressed over group assignments, you really need to work on your assertiveness and know how to make time a productive matter, especially on groups. i would advise you to not engrain yourself completely in neither groups (normally people form groups based on that status, a lot of things change when you start working... time-wise) and keep it mixed, because while other workers are very understanding their grades are, on average, also worse, so you may end up getting worse scores. its important to know how to split functions in groups and assert yours as quickly as possible, so that you wont spend the last 3 hours of the day frantically trying to do what everyone else did not for lack of a leader. i say this because it always happens to me, even though im assertive, and it really takes a toll on you when others start to slack and expect you to juggle everything they cannot (especially when they are not even workers).

dont skip classes, im a natural skipper but dont do it. try to have at least a free day in your timetable, its better to have classes from 9am to 4pm and then work from 5pm to 9pm than to have the classes separated each day but then you have to go work anyways. its less productive, trust me (youll also end up skipping more, its harder to skip when you have many classes in a day, because it makes you feel bad. if you only have one or two classes its like "....eh", you know? we dont want one week to become a big "eh" every month). the free days are also beneficial to you because they are days you can actually catch up on your lectures and assignments or just rest. youll end up burnt out if you dont rest! + dont skip exams, just dont. dont let it add up. just go and then repeat if needed.

dont expect your grades to be as good as they once were. this really took a toll on me too but my mean grade lowered by like 0.5 once i started working. its normal... the time you probably used to study will now be filled and if you have an habit of procrastinating you'll find it really hard to adjust, especially in the beginning. to help visualize i have an average grade of 16 out of 20 (80%), but on my first year it was 16.45. all in one, id rather work and get experience and be paid, you know? but if you really care about grades itll be really frustrating and really hard to keep it unchanged: the failing can be diminute or massive, that has to do with your own input and effort. in that matter, always try to keep up with your classes weekly, because its far easier to retain information that way and then you wont have to memorize everything in the last 5 hours.

try to get a job either close to home or to uni! my work on the call center was like 1h trip and it was really frustrating because it was time i could be using to study or to rest... the closer the better, unless you are not reliant on public transport like me.

from your question i assume you are already studying so i advise you to reflect on your own journey and remain a little pessimist: always think that it may get worse but rarely itll get better, as youll have a part of your day "locked" into something that you "cant make anything out of", academically speaking. itll get more challenging, not easier! with that in mind, try to think of the type of job you see yourself doing that wont completely drain you, and always aim for something that, if not the same, is at least similar. for example, if youre someone that suffers with anxiety, being stuck in the same place for hours attending people (cashier) may not be for you and it may affect you negatively in the long run. if youre someone that tires easily (physically), a sitting job may be a good choice, even if a little boring!

about not doing well on the job, honestly dont bother it. most job functions come automatically to you after a few weeks, its just a matter of being used to. no one will expect you to not make mistakes in your first few days and everyone will answer whatever question you come up with (even if rudely). you'll definitely do well on it! pay attention and be attentive to both customers and your colleagues. you dont need to become best friends with them, but remain friendly even when they arent so. sometimes when you get on the bad side of someone you end up on the bad side of many others that you dont even know about... dont get involved on it. keep it casual and lighthearted and define your boundaries, dont let anyone treat you badly. im telling you this because ive worked in places where everyone was super friendly and helpful and supportive and understanding... ive also worked with the opposite. dont take it to heart, some like to pick on the new person just to test it out. remain calm and collected.

know your rights! you have different rights than your peers, be sure to make use of them.

i dont know if this is helpful at all, but its basically what i have learnt from experience! i also can share that the more you remain optimistic and try to see things in a positive light, the easier things come to you - in every situation. if you start automatizing negative thoughts, itll become harder for you to keep up, and youll start feeling more and more drained. lately i cant see the beauty in anything, and its really affecting, for example, the way i perceive time while working. so do try to keep an healthy, positive atittude about these new experiences, and what they mean in your own evolution as a person and maturity.

if you ask me, even if you don't financially need it, i think working and studying is something that everyone should experience: at least to understand what it means and what it takes. i think its quite awkward when people are 22/3 finishing a degree and have absolutely no working experience yet... it feels really juvenile. and i can also tell you for a fact that the people i know in that situation are indeed a little bit childish & egoistical for their age, so yeah... i think its a good maturing experience to have, even if only temporarily. be proud of your initiative!

onwards, friend! dont fret, approach this new experience positively and try your best! you'll do fine!

[kimishima-naomi]

miçanga

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31194542 In response to Fly’s awesome fic - you don’t have to read it, but it helps with the context.

Content warning: talk of less-than-great parents, as depicted by canon. Also, mentions of trans stuff, which, if you know Fly, shouldn’t surprise you.

A headache is beating at her left temple – a soft, hot pulse compressing her skull. It's not a migraine, far from, but she still took a naproxen just in case it turns into one.

Naomi isn't sure of the time. It feels like it's past midnight, but she can't bring herself to get up from the couch and get ready for sleep. She isn't even out of her suit yet.

The living room is only lit by her laptop, an empty case file open on the screen. She avoids looking directly at it. Light feels too bright, like it always does.

It was just a meeting. A talk with a friend and a colleague. You have no reasons to be tired.

No, that's a transparent lie. Naomi prefers not to lie to herself.

You're not calling it a trigger, are you? Of course not – it's as far from a trigger as this headache is from a real migraine. Just a...

Like bumping an old scar the exact wrong way.

She grinds her teeth for a moment. Bad habit.

Shouldn't be this hard. Why...

Stiles. She wouldn't have assumed he was a surgeon if she'd met him outside of work. Anything but. Stiles was a walking disaster area, a chronically late chronically messy chronically lost... absolute prodigy with a scalpel. Naomi knew a fellow prodigy when she saw one.

Maybe even more so than you. She had to smile – Dr. Chase's stories about Derek blundering his way through exams managed to make her laugh like few things did.

Despite it all, Stiles is... level. Adjusted. Not like...

Naomi winces – not just from the headache. She has to think several times over to phrase the next statement to herself.

You can usually tell, can't you. When someone's parents are... less than stellar.

Takes one to know one, hm? Her lips move slightly, but she doesn't say the words aloud. Talking to herself has become a habit, and she wants it gone.

Or... maybe that wasn't such a surprise, after all. Hearing these stories. About what Stiles used to be like – chronically... unsure of himself, unable to believe he could get anything right.

That was telling.

Self-doubt is the mind killer for a surgeon. Hell, on some level, Naomi was surprised Derek became one, after all. The man must've truly been determined. An iron will, buried... deep inside. Quite deep.

She rolls her shoulders – straightening out mechanically, getting rid of the slouch she didn't know was there, taking a mandatory post-surgery deep breath.

...Her own family wasn't nearly that bad, of course. They just didn't care. That was fine by her – she'd seen otherwise in medical school, of course; classmates driven to near-suicide by pressure, weight of their medical clans on their shoulders-

Maybe that's why she coped differently. Grit her teeth, soldiered on, forged herself as if into a scalpel. Forged herself into somebody, seeking... not mere attention, of course; admiration, respect she knew she deserved.

You used to think it'd be better if they cared. Better to get a beating for a bad grade than know they don't care if you even attend school, right?

Naomi winces again. That, again, isn't truth. Not quite – if she ever did think that, well, that was in early childhood.

Her family didn't do anything all that bad. Except not acknowledging her existence after... that... happened.

Not like they acknowledged it before.

She chuckles softly, admitting the humor of that. No, they didn't.

She never went back to Japan.

All right, enough self-pity. This isn't about her, it's about Derek. And he got one rotten deal today.

Mother's Day, hm? Explains all the diabetes-inducing posts across her feed, despite her social networks being purely for work.

Frowning at the light, she checks her laptop. Second Sunday in May. That minutely annoys her – Thanksgiving and Easter are hard enough to remember.

Stiles... She doesn't ever guess at what Stiles was like before transitioning. Nor does she want to guess – the mere thought would feel invasive like a burrowing parasite.

But, whatever he was like in the past, he seems much better off now. Good.

She rubs her temple – it does nothing for the headache, but the bracelet catches unfamiliar on her wrist. She hasn't worn those in a long time, bracelets or rings, strictly forbidden by sterility rules.

Alyssa's gift. A handmade... misanga – she's sure that's Portuguese... friendship bracelet? It's a pretty one, shades of red and white – she knows that Alyssa knows she likes these colors.

It means the world to her. Who'd have thought.

She's still uneasy – a shard of some thought is lodged deep and painful like a splinter, something that angered her so much at the time that-

Ah.

Gently, Naomi undoes the fastener on the bracelet and rests it down on the keyboard. She's afraid she might break it – or anything that might get caught in her hands at this moment.

Tama. The cat's name is unusually certain in her memory.

Funny. She was never a cat person. She still isn't – Chloe, for all her softness, fuzziness, and... purr-iness, is a handful; from waking her up at four in the morning for an unscheduled portion of food (No.) to tripping her up in the middle of the night if she tries to walk somewhere without turning on the lights.

But that cat is precious to Alyssa. And that means it’s precious to Naomi, by some extraordinary, transitional property.

Besides, they both survived Rosalia. The critter was more resilient than she'd imagine.

An endoscopy on a cat... at the time, she justified it to herself by thinking about the valuable data they might get from a feline survivor. But, the truth is a lot more simple. 

This is a girl who just lost her family, and this is her ‘kitty’, and you'd be right scum if you simply put it down.

Naomi rolls her shoulders again. Her fingers feel cold and heavy. The headache is worsening.

She's pretty certain she's said something about wanting to die. Thought it, certainly. Anything but knowing how much of a fuсkup she-

She stands up sharply. Those kinds of thoughts are best confronted in better lighting.

The lights turning on earn a disapproving meow. She hadn't heard the cat sneak in. Figures.

Maybe it wants to spend time with you.

That's an unusually positive thought, and Naomi forces herself to welcome it.

She sits back down, picks the bracelet up again. It flows between her fingers, coils up like a small living creature. She feels the rough weave slowly before fastening it on her wrist again.

There's no point in that, not if she's planning to get some sleep anyway, and yet it's somehow very important right now as a... symbol? No. A promise to her kid.

A promise to do better.

[fanfics-arent-therapy-but-idc]

JATP FANFIC

Juke

Fluff

Oneshot

Time and Space

Julie and the boys decide to take a break from the band while Julie gets her bearings at college while they go and explore. Turns out that kindred spirits don’t take well to time and space.

Julie sat on the black swivel chair at the studio, back slightly arched over a keyboard as she recorded a new part to the chorus of a song she was working on. She hummed the lyrics lightly allowing her fingers to make what she heard in her head come to fruition. “Perfect” , she said once she added the keyboard to the song and replayed it. The song was mostly pop with a little bit of soul. It was right on brief as far as she was concerned, but the professors at Berklee were no joke. She just hoped that she did enough for an acceptable grade. After saving the song on her drive, she made her way to her room on 150 Massachusetts avenue. Her roommate, a dance major from Brazil, wasn’t going to be home until 11:00pm, meaning that she had two hours of alone time.

She entered the cozy room with a smile. Alana had turned on the L.E.D fairy lights and she could also smell the faint floral scent of the oil diffuser. She must have done this before she met up with her friends for their weekly Friday dinners . Julie locked the door, sat on her desk, and scribbled a note of gratitude, ending the note with a new Portuguese phrase that she’d picked up from her, “te amo muito”. After placing it on her bed, she began her nightly routine: shower, sing in the shower, wear her comfy pajamas(which consisted of an old, ripped up T-shirt that she had stolen from Luke years ago, and fluffy reindeer pajama pants), check her phone for messages, find out that she didn’t receive any, and ultimately sit on her bed for another hour with her notebook and a pencil. She usually felt most creative around this time, but tonight was not one of those nights. She stared at her phone that was all too proud to showcase her embarrassingly empty notifications list.

At first, the band came to the decision to go on hiatus for Julie’s sake. They had spent every hour of everyday together for two and a half years, cultivating a loyal following and making great music. A needed break, just so Julie could focus on school, was the logical move. Ever since they materialized as real people, they hadn’t spent much time exploring this new world. This was their chance. She mostly attributed the lack of communication to the fact that they probably still had no clue how to use smartphones and ignored the very plausible idea that they might have needed a break from her. She and Flynn spoke more often, but she was easily busier than Julie over at Northwestern with her double major in Performance studies and Film and Media studies.

Sigh. Julie fell backwards onto her bed and closed her eyes, remembering the day she left for Boston. It was still super hot in California, but she had a sweater stuffed into her carry-on for when she landed on the East Coast. The boys drove a separate car that contained most of her luggage, while her Dad, Flynn, and her brother were in another car, blasting the radio. Her father singing the loudest, trying to drown out the pang in his chest, Julie assumed. She was excited to go to college, but she would miss her hometown, her family, Flynn, and the boys. When they parked, the boys insisted on carrying all of the luggage. She had to wrestle Reggie to hold on to her carry-on. The boys wondered at everything they witnessed, none of them having taken a flight anywhere before dying. She distinctly remembers the way Luke smiled and waved at the troupe of pilots walking past them and towards their respective flights. When it was time for her to pass the threshold, her dad broke down, silent tears breaking through. “Mom would be so proud of you”, he assured her. Now it was Julie’s turn to cry. She hugged them all one more time, Luke last of all.

“Hey”, he started, “don’t forget about us when you become a cool, super smart, college student”. Julie laughed so hard that she startled the entire waiting area full of people.

“I promise that I won’t. And just because the band’s taking a break�� that doesn’t mean you can’t call, or text, or video call. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Of course, once I figure out how to do that video call thing you’ll be seeing this face once a day”, he promised. Julie laughed again, wiped her tear-stained cheeks, and boarded her flight.

That was three weeks ago. The first time he video called her, the connection was poor, and they couldn’t hear each other. The second time he tried to call, she just got an embarrassingly bad grade on an exam that she had spent all night studying for in addition to being days behind on a project in the very same class. Julie lay in bed cringing at the memory of that afternoon.

“Hey Julie! woah, are you crying? What’s going on are you oka- “

“No- I mean I was, but I- I’m good now, just busy”,

“Oh. Well, what’s up?”

“Uh, nothing much honestly. Just… yeah just super busy”

“Julie, do you need me to hang up?”

“I’m so sorry, but yes. I’m just-”

“Busy? Got it. See you later”

She felt physically ill remembering that day. She had half a mind to text him an apology, but some sort of self-preservation setting inside of her stopped her every time. Knowing Luke, he’d probably texted everyone that she was super busy and not to be disturbed. Maybe that’s why she’s been left on radio silence for a week. Her dad even downsized from his daily calls and he always kept them under ten minutes; even if she insisted that she had more time. She was just about to call it a night when her phone vibrated. She froze. Don’t get too excited. It’s probably from one of your professors.

It wasn’t. Julie blinked and turned the brightness all the way up on her phone. The message read:

🎶Luke🎶: Hey, are you busy?

Julie was quick to respond:

You: No, not at all. Wanna talk?

Just as the little notification popped up to indicate that her message was delivered, there was a knock on her door. She assumed that it was Alana coming home early. She frequently forgot her keys so it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility, but who she opened the door for was completely unexpected.

“Dad! Carlos! What are you doing here?” Standing in front of her door was her dad and brother. She hugged them tightly and to more of her surprise, just outside the doorway was Flynn, Alex, Reggie, and Luke, standing humbly behind everyone else.

“Don’t be mad at us”, Alex said, “Luke made it very clear that this surprise could not be spoiled under any circumstances”.

“But we’re not that good at keeping secrets,” Reggie added.

“So you all decided to ghost me?” she questioned.

“Sort of”, Alex responded quietly. They were all looking at her. Wondering if they had made a grave mistake and if she would slam the door in their faces. She wouldn’t.

“Well… the risk was worth it. I am officially surprised!” she whispered, realizing that her fellow, sleep-deprived, students would not appreciate the interruption. The look of relief on everyone’s face was hilarious.

“Come on everyone, let’s get out of this hallway. I know a good 24-hour diner just around here. They have seats big enough for all of us”, Julie suggested.

“That sounds great Julie, but please tell me that you're getting changed first?” Flynn asked.

Julie remembered that she was in her ‘comfy clothes’. Clothes consisting of Luke’s shirt and Christmas pajamas. “Uhhh, yeah. Give me a minute”. She shut the door, jumped into a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a sweatshirt. “Okay, now I’m ready! Let’s go”.

The walk to the Diner was short, but Julie had learnt a lot. Carlos just started a photography club at his school, Flynn’s roommate, Justine, has an aunt who owns a hair salon, meaning discounted box braids all year. She was really excited about that. Reggie has been surprising fans at local cafes with acoustic versions of the band’s best hits. Alex has been holed up in every museum and library in California and Dad was up to the same old stuff, taking photos, cooking, and whatever old people do, Julie added to her dad’s protest.

“I am not old”, he responded as he pushed open the Diner doors. The place was pretty clean to most city-dwellers standards. The faded blue and yellow banquets surrounded the walls and long wooden tables were placed across from them. Julie took the liberty of snagging a few stools from the counter, seeing as the room was empty. Julie, Carlos, and her Dad sat on the stools while the rest of the crew spread out on the banquets. When the waitress came around she informed them that they were in luck and that there was a fresh batch of maple bacon and regular glazed hot out of the deep fryer. They ordered one of each for everyone, along with a pot of classic Diner coffee and a pitcher of water for Carlos. As they waited for their desserts, the group fell into a lull. Julie took this chance to get into Luke’s head. He had planned an entire trip across the country for her, but he hadn’t said more than twenty words to her since she’d layed eyes on him.

“So, Luke,” she started tentatively, “what have you been up to? Visit any museums lately?”

“Pfft I wish!” her father exclaimed. She peeked over at a mortified Luke and the sympathetic stares of his friends. “I swear all he ever does is sit in that studio, write songs, and sulk”, he continued mercilessly, only stopping when the waitress arrived.

“Here are the donuts. The coffee and water are coming right up”.

“Thank you so much,” her Dad responded kindly. “Now back to what I was say-”

“Julie, can we talk… outside,” Luke interrupted. Flynn and Carlos tried to stifle a laugh that ended in both of them choking on their donuts. Julie was… confused to say the least but she obliged, standing and walking shyly past the door he opened for her.

‘It’s freezing out here!’ She wanted to say to cut the tension, but she knew that the weather was not one of the topics of conversation that Luke had on his mind. They were walking now, taking small steps to nowhere in particular. Luke spoke first.

“So, as your father has so kindly told you, our beloved friends, and the entire Diner staff, I’m sort of miserable without you”.

Julie snorted. “Well, to be honest, I'm not having such a great time without you either. We’re really that co-dependent, huh?” Luke was smiling next to her and she was smiling back. She really did miss his smile.

“Ha, well, you say co-dependent, and I say that I'm deeply in love with you,” he shrugged, “same difference”. What? Julie froze. She was not prepared for this, but one could say that that was just bad planning on her part. Julie still remembers the day when she almost lost him to Caleb. The feeling of absolute darkness surrounding her heart, the feeling of heartbreak and anger. She was way too young to call that feeling love, but looking back, looking at all of the late-night songwriting sessions and the way she lost all ability to speak when he gave her that smile, maybe it was. Maybe it still is. Realizing that Luke was watching her, she tried to utter some sort of response.

“Luke, I-”

“You don’t have to say it back, in fact I'm asking you not to, but just hear me out on this one request. Please?”

“Okay.”

“Let me stay.”

“Where? My dorm room. I think that Alana and my dad might have something to say about that,” she answered, unsure of where this was going.

“Very funny Molina. He was doing his nervous finger twitch. “C’mon lighten the mood Julie!” She chastised herself.

“Right? I should drop out and pursue a career in come-”

“Let me stay here in Boston”, he butted in. She didn’t mind because she could see how much what he wanted to say scared him. “I'll get my own place, I'll work crappy retail jobs when all my money runs out, I’ll busk on the streets for all I care, but I… I need this. He was gesturing at the two of them.

Julie stood there unmoving. He needed her. The sentiment was horrifying and exciting at the same time, but she couldn’t hide her truth when he was showing his off right in front of her. To her, he was that bit of California sunshine she was always missing, the series of sounds that filled the empty part of a song she was producing, he was like the sweet glaze on a soft donut; he completed her. Without thinking, she grabbed his shaking hands and placed them on her cheeks. Like from memory, he was caressing her face. She placed her hands on his face and did the same. For a split second, Julie was sixteen again, in her mother’s studio, holding on tight to what she had left, what she wanted more than anything.

“I need you too, Luke. You're the glaze to my donut.” It was Luke’s turn to laugh now. Julie knew it was a stupid metaphor, but it got the job done and it made him smile.

“Oh my gosh that was terrible”, he teased, putting both hands over his mouth in shock, “how did you get into Berklee?”

“That’s a lot of talk coming from someone who didn’t get into Berklee”, she teased back, arms folded.

“Hey, don’t underestimate me! I could have gotten in had I applied”, he assured her.

“You don’t even have a transcript, Luke.”

“Once again, do not underestimate my skills of persuasion. I managed to get you to let three ghosts live in your studio” he replied.

“Fine. Then apply next semester,” she teased.

“Is that a challenge, Molina?”

“More like an invitation”, Julie looked him in the eyes now, all jokes aside.

“I’ll be there. Always”, he answered.

“Wow. That was, inspiring”, said a familiar voice, “but can we please get back to the hotel? The waitress just warned us that we don’t want to be walking around here after dark.”

Julie and Luke turned in unison to see a paranoid Alex standing in front them. “Oh, and congratulations on the two of you finally realizing that you are literally inseparable. This past month has been torture for me! Now c’mon, let’s go before we get murdered, but for real this time.”

The trio walked back into the Diner with Luke and Julie holding hands. This was met with various cheers, chants, and a relieved “finally”! from Julie’s dad. “Now I can use my studio in peace!”

THE END!

[badasscaptain]

Mariska Benson’s Story

Captain Mariska "Mar/Mari" Benson heads up the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Mariska is fluent in several languages, which include English, Italian, Spanish, French, Polish, Italian, Irish Gaelic, Czech, Scottish Gaelic, Hungarian, Latin, Portuguese, Basque, Danish, Chinese, Japanese, Bulgarian,, Slovenian, Dutch, Hebrew, latin, german, Russian, Ukrainian, Moldovan, Greek, Filipino, Belarusian, Turkish, Swedish, Polish, Slavonic Languages(Indo-European, Balto-Slavic, Porto-Slavic, Eastern-Slavic, Southern-Slavic, Western-Slavic, Slovak), Serbo-Croatian, Macedonian, Romanian, Gagauz and Sign Language.

Prior to becoming a cop and working for the NYPD/ At SVU. Mariska severd in the US Navy for 16 years. from 1981-1997, when she retired and came home to the states that December of 1997.  She joined the Navy and enlisted after high school at the age of 17, in May of 1981.  She also worked her ass off in high school and got  a full scholarship to Cornell University , took it and while in College and enlisted in the Navy , fighting a broad and serving her country / protecting the USA from threats, Mariska multi-tasked and simultaneously studied  during her time in the Navy and attained both her Bachelor's and Master's degrees at the same time, and triple majored in criminal justice, law enforcement and Ballistics & Technical Sciences, with minors in several languages, history, literature and creative writing - poetry. She later graduated from Cornell , while still in the Navy , after only three years studies in May of 1984, a few months after her 20th birthday, while still abroad and fighting in the Navy and serving her country at the same time. 

She is a decorated US Navy Veteran, with multiple Awards and Honors. Mariska exited and retired from the US Navy and military life, in April of 1997 at the age of 33, after serving her country and a Navy- Military career of 16 years, and upon retirement from the Navy was a Vice Admiral. During her time in the US Navy , Mariska was a part of the Navy's elite special forces team , known as SEAL TEAM 6. Upon retiring from the Navy in  late May of 1997. 

Mariska came home and returned to the states, and attended the New York police academy and took their program to become a cop within a few short months, after graduating early from the NYPD academy in July of 1997, a few months after studying to be a cop at the NYPD academy that same year. She  first began her law enforcement career as cop, that July after her graduation not long after independence day 1997. 

In the beginning of her law enforcement career as a cop , with the NYPD, Mariska started out low in the ranks, and was transferred quite a bit during hr first two years with the NYPD, working in serval different department, before she made Detective 2nd grade in the winter of 1998, just a few short months before joining SVU ing March of 1999 and being transferred for the last and final time , while working for the NYPD.

Prior to taking over SVU, Mariska worked as a SVU detective and to this day is still partnered with Det. Elliot Stabler, they've been partners for over 12 years. After Elliot's leave of absence for a year. Mariska partnered primarily with Nick Amaro, before his return to SVU in 2013 after about a year of being away due to having to handle issues with his family and personal affairs. The year after that, in 2013 Elliot was forced to retire from SVU due to hurting Mariska again, as he had done in the past. This time Fin caught him sexually assaulting her in the nap area of the SVU precinct, used by SVU to rest, now and again when they get tired and can't think straight, during precinct lockdowns, while they're working huge complex cases. 

Shortly after he returned, they became partners once again, before Cragen the old SVU captain , her ex boss retired  after the Lewis case in late 2013... he fired Stabler's crazy ass and the NYPD took his shield for good, in the early summer of 2013. Which Stabler hated, never getting his way, though any one who has a brain and common sense, knows you don't always get your way, and or aren't always right all the time, or perfect. 

In late fall of 2013 after the lewis case was wrapped up, and Mariska and all his other living victims were safe. Mariska became a Sergeant and took over the SVU unit from Captain Donald Cragen in late October of 2013. Coincidentally at the same time her co-worker of several years John Munch, also announced his retirement as well from the NYPD in late October of 2013, the same Cragen announced he was retiring from the NYPD. Then after being a Sargent for about 7 months after Cragen's leaving SVU and putting her in charge.

 she took the Lieutenant's exam and aced it, and became the Lieutenant of the SVU Department. She continued to be the head of SVU after she became their Lieutenant. She stayed as a Lieut. As Lieutenant and the head of SVU for some months, Then in late 2019 Mariska was promoted again, this time to Captain of SVU. Mariska does her best to head up and keep her squad a tight knit bunch and working well together, with little to no issues as possible. 

While balancing in time with her son Noah Porter-Benson, comes ahead of her job and love life. She does the best she can, to balance her job, family, friends and dating, Although she is still in love with one particular woman, but she has no idea if she'll ever come to see it or not, so she tries to push through the pain and move on without him as best she can and focus on the positives in her life.

Early Life and The Beginning of her Career with SVU

Mariska and her identical twin sister Olivia were born, Mariska Renée Benson and Olivia Margaret Benson, On January 23, 1964, Nassau County, Long Island, New York. Mariska and her identical identical twin sister Olivia "Liv" Benson, were the products of the rape of their mother Serena Benson in 1963 by a food salesman named Jacob Holmes, who later committed suicide. At the time of the rape, Serena had been working in the cafeteria of Columbia University. 

Mariska's mother, Serena was an alcoholic who tossed aside her one daughter Olivia, Mariska's identical twin sister away and left her daughter Olivia in the adoption/foster care system as a baby, to grow up there. Meanwhile Serena decided to keep and raise her other daughter Liv's twin sister Mariska, as a single mother, and also emotionally, physically, mentally and verbally abused Mariska throughout her childhood, adolescent years growing up. Her mother Serena even went as far, to hide from Mariska, that she had a sister out there, being raised in the system, not just any normal type of sister... but an identical named Olivia.

 Mariska for most of her life, was always suspicious that there was more to her story , of how she was conceived and brought into this world by her mother Serena, then what her mom Serena lead her to believe for all those years, when she was growing up, even after joining the Navy after high school, as she did. Then after her exiting the Navy after a 16 year stint in the service, and Navy life. 

She knew in her gut, that there was more to the story of their family, then what her mom Serena told her, however back in the day, it was much harder to prove or dig up stuff about those in the system, and long lost relatives, plus kinship analysis was stiff a very new DNA test the law enforcement and health care fields had just developed. Mariska though, continued to question her life, and formative years growing up in long island as she did as well as, her mother Serena’s secrets. 

That is until Serena passed away not long after, Mariska joined svu as a 2nd grade detective years ago. Serena died from injuries sustained in a fall when she was drunk, in early 2000, After which it left Mariska still questioning the feeling in her gut, that she had more family out there, she didn’t know about all her life, and she wanted answers. Mariska did want to know if she did have siblings out there, or any cousins, etc. 

So she asked her then boss Captain Don Cragen, and her trusted coworkers during those days, her early ones at SVU as a detective.... to help her get and run a kinship DNA analysis test on her. Which they helped her do an keep hush hush, the kinship DNA test, came back positive and did show results  that she had a sibling out there, not just a sibling, but a sister. However the records of her name were sealed and closed, the only other thing that the test results showed was the sister, also grew up where Mariska did in Long Island, and that she grew up in the system. 

Which left Mariska more curious, and anything to find out, who this sister was, she  had, her name, etc. At the same time the passing of their mother Serena, left Mariska, even more deeply angry, as well as, a bit saddened, due to the fact that she never got closure with her mother Serena before she passed away, never got to tell her crazy mom how she felt, how much she had her hurt, etc. 

While investigating a case called (Payback) in 1999, Mariska and Serena seemed to care about each other a great deal. Serena was worried about Mariska working in the Special Victims Unit. Then also months later in (1999) while investigating a case labeled Wanderlust, Mariska said to her good friend ADA Casey Novak, that her first love was an older woman and that she "couldn't have loved her more". 

Then months later while investigating a case called Taken (2000) Serena dies as the result of a fall down the subway stairs across from a bar. Mariska says Serena was a drunk. Then later that same year also, while investigating an Abuse case in (2000) Mariska becomes involved with a child who was neglected by her parents that way Mariska felt neglected by her mother. 

Then while investigating a case labeled ; Intoxicated in (2005) Mariska tells Casey Novak about an incident when she was 16. An older student of her mother asked her to marry her and when she told Serena that she was leaving, her mother who had been drinking flew into a rage and went after her with a broken bottle.

During her brief visits to Philadelphia and Florida (2007) Mariska finds out about the man who raped her  and her twin sister Olivia’s mother, and others. He knew about his daughters and kept track of them both. He once tried to call Mariska but got Serena instead. Mariska Graduated from Cornell university. She admitted to her SVU teammates in 2007 while they were investigating a case then , they labeled (Stalked).

[ourkarlanicoleuniverse]

Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 3

Warnings: None sfw

It turned out, Aizawa left a stupid duffle bag behind the corner of the restaurant so he could change and get to patrolling right away. I kind of find it oddly endearing despite how strange it was. I was currently walking with my tablet in hand on the way to Class 1-A; after the events of Friday night, Aizawa kept his word and sent me a list of concerns or things he's noticed about the students. So I decided it was best to take upon his request and help with training just this once to see how they really work under pressure.

As soon as I walked in, I saw the purple-headed student was tied up and hung up from the ceiling in... tape? I almost dropped my tablet in shock. The rest of the class were either sitting down and speaking to each other or yelling at the kid for being a pervert. And then Iida was just telling everyone to quiet down. Maybe I should just make a quick getaway; they didn't seem to notice me walking in. Sometimes it's good that I have my mom's height and good genes that I still look like a fifteen-year-old kid to some people. But too late, I was seen by one of the students. Midoriya.

"Good morning, Ms. Montoya! Aizawa sensei isn't here yet if you needed to see him." Midoriya bowed slightly and then raised his hand to wave at me. The rest of the students quiet down as well.

"Good morning. Ms. Montoya." They all said in unison.

"Bwahvowoand mthh monthouyaaa." And then there was Mineta, who was still tied up and had his mouth taped up.

I moved a piece of hair out of my face and straightened up, "Good morning, Class 1-A. I am here because Aizawa asked me to join today's lesson. Plus, I wanted to let you know that I will be making appointments to see some of you individually." I held my tablet tight in both hands and pointed in the direction of Mineta, "Can someone explain to me why Mineta is on the ceiling?"

Kirishima raised his hand, "He was harassing the girls, so Sero used his quirk and taped him up as a time out." The redhead smiled brightly that it was absolutely adorable.

"Oh... well, I'm sure there could've been other ways to get him to stop, right?" I smiled, despite the sentence giving me a bitter taste in my mouth. If I were them, I would've probably done the same thing. "Anyways, I'm a little too short to get him down, so can one of you boys do it and set him down at his desk before your teacher comes in and you get into trouble." Kirishima and a blonde boy named Kaminari got up immediately and grabbed Mineta.

As I walked to the corner of the room where there was an empty seat Midoriya went to ask another question, "So, since you're joining us for the lesson today, does that mean we're going to see you use your quirk?" The boy had nothing but excitement in his emerald eyes; they almost reminded me of Mic's eyes.

"That's what Aizawa told me. I have yet to decide whether I'll use it or not with you guys." I sighed and gave a small smile.

"Then why are you here if you're not going to use it." Bakugo rudely interjected.

"Well, since you asked so nicely. I am here to get to know you and your quirks to counsel you better. And it's best to show you that there is more than just knowing how to use your quirk that goes into your hero work." I opened my tablet and connected it to the board to showcase a list of heroes and their quirks. "I guess I go into a small lecture of my own before Aizawa comes in."

The first hero I showed was All Might. "I feel like this should be the first person I should go into. All Might has a lot of great qualities, which is why he's the number one hero. But there are still things he lacks. I know this better than anyone since I worked under him during my work-study and internship. You want to guess what that might be?" I raised my eyebrow at the students. "Bakugo, I've seen you've gotten the highest amount of points on your entrance exam and that you've had the highest grades in middle school. Do you want to answer my question?"

The blond hot head just blinked, and his arrogant demeanor faltered. I knew he wasn't going to expect me to call him out. "Uh, I'm sorry, I don't have an answer."

I smiled, "That's okay. It's good to know you're aware when you don't know anything." The boy huffed and crossed his arms, and averted his red eyes away from mine. "His one of few flaws is that he mostly goes off of instincts rather than strategizing his attacks or missions. He doesn't do it often but definitely has done it enough to make a difference. When you have such great power, you tend to forget how to create plans that don't revolve around them. Which is a large factor when it comes to saving people."

"She's right." Aizawa interrupted my short lecture. He had his hands in the pockets of his hero clothes and an exhausted face. His grey eyes were tinted in red due to his exhaustion and dry eye. "Montoya is one of the people I trust most to explain the importance of your relationship with your quirk. Whatever it may be. She has more than enough experience with that." I almost smiled. I was being praised by Aizawa, which annoyed me because I was for sure blushing because of it.

I nodded slightly at the man, "Thank you, Aizawa. It is important to have a good relationship with your quirk. If you don't embrace it like I didn't for a very long time, it's hard to control it and feel comfortable with it. That's mainly why I am here. To see if you guys need help with that." Most of the students nodded and looked more than willing to have my help. I noticed Shoto Todoroki was a little discontented, and Midoriya gave a nervous smile while sinking in his seat. "I will be honest and tell you all that it was a struggle for me to like my quirk. So if any of you have any concerns about your own, I will be nothing but open and supportive. I promise you that."

"I have a question." A girl student named Jiro spoke up.

"Yes?"

"You don't have to tell us why if you're uncomfortable. But why didn't you like your quirk? Midoriya said you just mimic other quirks? What made you change your mind about it?" Her voice was a little quiet and cautious, afraid if she crossed a line. She did a little. I don't really like talking about my past all too much, especially to kids. It's not the most kid-friendly Disney-like story.

Aizawa looked towards his right to look at me, probably worried about what I was about to say. I just turned my lips up in my signature smile, "I won't go into my reasons for why I wasn't comfortable with my quirk. At least not right now. It's too long of a story." I let out an awkward chuckle and scratched the back of my head, "The logistics to my quirk and how I got over my fear of it, I can explain. Think of Mr. Aizawa's quirk. But with extra steps. I can stop a quirk, yes, but I have the option to stop it forever or temporarily. Most of the time, I do a temporary pause on a quirk. But unlike Eraserhead, I also have the option to use the quirk I gained and mimic it. Or use its energy like how All Might focuses his strength and energy into his punches. It really depends on the situation." I scratched the back of my head again, "And really, I didn't start liking my quirk until I went to UA and met Aizawa and Present Mic. Since Aizawa's quirk worked similar to mine, I didn't feel so... I guess alone." I cringed when I said that; how fucking cheesy can I be. I covered my face in embarrassment, "Oh, that sounds so cringy and sad, ew. Forget I said any of that." All I heard were whole-hearted chuckles from the kids, and I swear I saw a hint of a smirk and pink on Aizawa's cheek through the slits between my fingers.

"So, you knew each other since you were our age?" Mina squealed.

I simply nodded. "Yeah. My mom got a job here when I was fifteen, so we moved, and I ended up at UA. I literally read all the books I could find to teach myself Japanese. But as you could see, it didn't help much."

Aoyama then asked, "Where did you live before, Musutafu?"

"Oh well," I put a hand under my chin, pretending to think, "Well, okay. So I was born in Tokyo, lived there until my mom was done with her Biology degree. Then we moved when I was two to Los Angeles where my family is from. Then we lived in New York and San Francisco over the course of two or three years. And then a year or two before moving to Musutafu, we lived in Paris because my grandmother is half French, so my mom had citizenship through her." As soon as I mentioned Paris, Aoyama's eyes twinkled, and everyone groaned. "What did I do?"

"Aoyama is a bit of a francophile," Aizawa mumbled in my left ear. The closeness mixed with the soft gruffness in his whisper left shivers that I had to ignore go down my spine.

"Oh, tu aimes la culture français?" I asked Aoyama, and the boy nearly fainted.

"You know, French!" The whole class screamed. Having both Aizawa and I squint.

"I also know Spanish and a little bit of Italian and Portuguese." A sea of woes was my response. "Anyways, enough about me, we have to go on with the lesson plan Aizawa had. So all of you get dressed in your gym uniforms. Chop. Chop." I clapped my hands as the kids rushed out excited.

I couldn't help but laugh. They all kind of reminded me of how my class was in high school. "They like you," Aizawa stated as a matter of factly.

"Of course they do. I'm amazing." I smiled cheekily as I made my way to the doorway. "You, on the other hand, you're alright after a while."

He chuckled. Yes, Shota Aizawa chuckled, I know, I'm shocked too. Then he leaned down to my right ear. His hot breath fanning it as he whispered, "You say that now, but a few minutes ago, you gushed all about me to the students." To say I was left paralyzed by the sudden change in Aizawa's demeanor was an understatement. Where was this fucking playfulness when we were kids? My legs felt like jelly; I was so surprised to see that I was still standing.

I had to act like it didn't affect me. But I'm sure my rose-colored face and wide chocolate eyes gave it away, "I was also talking about Hizashi. Don't go ignoring him." I turned to meet his face, and he just had this smirk. This smirk that was different from any other curl of his lips that I have seen before. And I was hooked. I wanted to see that smirk every day. As soon as it appeared, it was gone. He went back to his "I didn't give a fuck" frown and dead eyes and hunched over with his hands in his pockets. Completely different from the tall cocky devil from a second ago. "Come on, at this rate, we'll be late, and the students will be the ones waiting for us." He waved his hand at me to motion behind him. I couldn't help but gawk. What the actual fuck just happened?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you okay, Young Montoya?" All Might walked up to my desk with his lunch in hand.

"Hmm? Yeah, I am fine." I was reading over an email with an attached file on Aizawa's analysis of Midoriya. I noticed he was a little nervous about training today, but he didn't get injured, so I didn't see what he was concerned about. But something about his quirk seemed off. He didn't have a quirk until a few months before coming to UA. Almost as if he obtained it from somewhere.

"How are the kids treating you? I heard you trained them today." Toshinori sat at his desk next to mine. He passed me a pork bun, "Here, don't want you to have another late lunch."

"Thanks, dad." I gave him a fake annoyed look.

"Shut up. We can't let people know how old I really am." He joked and then coughed. "Sorry."

"I want to suggest wearing a mask, but I feel like with the blood being coughed up would defeat the purpose of it." I reached over to give him a tissue and rub his back, "I didn't technically train; all I did was tell them more about myself and then give them advice on how to better deal with Aizawa's training. With his permission to critique his teaching, of course." I stopped rubbing Toshinori's back and took a bite out of the pork bun. "He gave me a list of reports he made on the students, but so far, I didn't see any of what he told me today. I might have to come in again."

"But overall, they didn't give you a hard time?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, when I walked in, it was pretty chaotic, but overall they enjoyed me teaching them and were very enthusiastic." I went back to my laptop, "There's this one kid I tried to put my focus on, but he seemed to be pretty okay compared to Aizawa's report. Izuku Midoriya. Do you remember him from the entrance exam? He was the one that helped the girl Uraraka when the debris prevented her from escaping the robots."

Toshinori stiffened a little, "I remember. What about him?"

"Well, he didn't have a quirk before this year. And apparently, when he uses it, he breaks his bones. I saw that happen in the exam, but I thought it was a one-time thing. It kind of reminded me of how we met, you know? Using my quirk and then passing out." Toshinori nodded. It was a funny story about how I met the All Might. It was when I was still a student at UA. My homeroom teacher decided to give us a break day, so Class 2-A and 2-B went to the beach. I was hanging around Aizawa, Mic, and our friend Shirakumo when everyone was running and cheering. I was overwhelmed because I didn't know what that meant. For all I knew, cheers and screams were the same things. But then we saw All Might and Shirakumo explained to me who he was and why people were excited to meet him. Iris was there with us and forced me to take a picture with her and All Might. He was more than happy to take a picture with us. And to be fair, I grew pretty excited like everyone else. Toshinori hoisted us up on his biceps like they do in cartoons. And before the picture was taken, I felt pulsing energy go through my body, and then I met darkness. It freaked everyone out, including the symbol of Peace himself. I had to explain to everyone how my quirk worked and why I passed out that day, but it didn't feel forced or uncomfortable when I did it.

"I remember how nonchalant you were about it. 'Or don't worry. It happens, are you okay, though?' I feel like that freaked me out more than you passing out." He chuckled and shook his head. "You were always so careless about yourself."

"Gee, I wonder why?" I rolled my eyes, "Anyways, the way Aizawa describes this kid, it's like if my homeroom teacher was describing me." I point to the screen, "Look, 'His quirk allows him to channel energy into certain appendages and grant him immense strength.' That's kind of our quirks work... wait a minute..." I slowly turned my head to the gentle blond giant to my right. "Toshinori. You didn't."

He looked at me with blue wide eyes, "Did what?"

"Toshinori Yagi. This kid didn't have a quirk before the exam. Not only that, you and I both know how One For All works." I glared at him as he seemingly shrunk down in size.

"I can explain." He rushed and waved his hands around.

"You better." I felt my energy coursing around me as I stood up; I'm sure my hair was flowing golden locks in between the brown ones, and my eyes changed to an ice-cold blue with how angry I was. Thank god the lounge was empty right now. I can't believe how reckless he was. This poor kid probably didn't know what he got himself into.

"Um, what's going on that Montoya is in her Super Saiyan mode now?" Kayama and Iris walked in for their lunch break.

I took a deep breath and turned my quirk off, "Nothing, just got told the bad news about Gran Torino. You know me, I get emotional about the old man." I sat down and looked at Toshinori, "We're not done talking about it. Just explained everything later before we leave school." He just gave me a curt nod.

"All Might really need to stop making you use your quirk when he's around. It's like he wants you to pass out." Iris giggled. "I'm only teasing, All Might." Toshinori just smiled at her and went back to eating. "You mind if we squeezed in here and hang out with you on your break, Mai?"

"Yeah, Lily is with Vlad King right now talking about Class 1-B, so you can take her desk and pull up an extra chair."

"You didn't need to do that with Aizawa?" Kayama pulled up a chair and sat down.

"Nope, I came into class already, and he sent me everything I needed to know about the students." I go to grab my water bottle on my desk to see Toshinori snuck another pork bun on my desk while he checked his own emails and reports. Skeletor is really trying to butter me up right now with food... he really does know me too well.

"Wow, you guys aren't getting along and working ahead of Vlad and Lily. Don't make it a competition." Kayama laughed.

"Oh no, Lily and I already knew we got dragged in their rivalry. I'm already dreading it. I wish I could be like Toshi and be neutral." I nudged him, but he didn't budge. "But I like the kids, so I'm sure I can deal with the two of them being childish for their sake."

A slight tap graced my shoulder, "Aizawa asked me, and Thirteen is we wanted to join him in training the students at the USJ tomorrow. Did he mention anything to you?" I turned over to Toshinori, who looked a little nervous.

"No, I have to be in a meeting with Nezu, Toyama, and the other UA counselors to discuss the new mental health section of the school. But don't be so worried, you'll be fine with Thirteen there." I gave him a smile and pat on the head. The poor guy is intimidated by Aizawa, which honestly is so adorable. "I'm sure as long as you're not late to class, he won't reprimand you. Plus, the kids themselves aren't bad."

"You didn't have to give them the villain simulation assignment. Young Bakugo almost killed Midoriya." He let out a nervous chuckle.

"True, I wasn't there, but I did have to see them after class because of the outburst." I patted his head. "Nothing is going to happen tomorrow." I took a bite out of my second pork bun. "Now, stop worrying. You're acting how you do when Gran Torino calls you."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I shouldn't be worried." He gave a solemn smile. Iris and Kayama were both just snickering at the symbol of peace being a nervous wreck. Not a lot of people would have expected that he had that side to him.

For the rest of the day, I reviewed the points I wanted to make in the meeting for tomorrow while socializing with my colleagues. It was a relatively normal day. None of us would've expected that tomorrow would've made a complete one-eighty. If only I were actually right about tomorrow.

———————————————————————

My master list 😊

Tag list:

@inumorph @thatgirlwithcamera @mel-sanch

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

[pompadourpink]

(1/2) Hi, mom! So, I got a scholarship from my uni here in Brazil and I'll study in Saint-Etienne during the first semester of 2019. I study Portuguese and French at university, so the classes that I chose are from the licence en Lettres (basically literatures courses and courses about the teaching of FLE). I was wondering if you could tell me a little about the evaluation methods (like generally speaking, do you guys have tests at the end of the semester? Or do you have to write essays?)

(2/2) Also mostly of the courses I chose are “cours magistral” and one is “travail dirigé”. I looked it up and now have a basic sense of what those are, but since this is not a distinction that we have in Brazil I don’t know if the evaluation methods are different from one another. Anyway, I remember you saying that you studied French at uni, so I thought you could help me with that. Have a nice day/evening and sorry for the long ask!

Hello, and congratulations! 

(Disclaimer: I talk of what i know, after six years in the same uni, studying literature. someone studying law or in Britain could say something different.)

Basics:

A bachelor degree in france is indeed made of cours magistraux and travaux dirigés : the cms (two or three per semester, 1-2h) are classes the entire year takes, in an amphitheater, with one teacher monologuing. they introduce you to a century, a movement, a genre ; you take notes. the tds (more frequent, 1h30) are smaller classes (groups of about thirty students) either introduce you to a subcategory of the subject of the cm (ex : one book) or to a more precise area of literature (ex : medieval theater). here’s how my former uni does the trick.

Acronyms.

When it comes to the grading system:

Semesters start mid-September and mid-January and end mid-December and mid-April, with about one week of holidays halfway + one to two at the end. cms have one exam (”contrôle terminal”), tds at least two (”contrôle continu”). you may get more if you’re willing to work on (written or oral) extra assignments. 

If you fail (: if you get less than 10/20 for the whole semester after your grades are averaged based on the coefficient), there is a second session (beginning of june for the first semester and mid june for the second) - you either take every exam all over again or just the ones you failed, depending on the uni.

Td exams’ dates are decided by the teachers to accommodate the students (usually one mid-semester during a regular class and one either the last week during a regular class or during the cms exams’ week) 

Cms are set right after the end of the semester + week(s) of holidays (start of January + May). 

How it works:

During a cm, the teacher gets on stage, turns on the computer, opens their Powerpoint, gets the mic, and blah blah bluh blih bloh for the entire session - i recommend you get your inner nerd out to play and sit in the front rows otherwise good luck to hear anything (shit equipment) + be noticed if you have a question (note : they don’t have much time, if you really have a problem see the teacher after class or e-mail them).

During a td, you have one book to read (more for compared literature classES) : the teacher speaks half of the time about the book, author, context, politics + history if it makes sense, then one/two students make an oral presentation about an extract of the book (the list is given during the first week, pick asap). If you’re afraid to public speaking, you can get out of it by either asking to write (most teachers are accommodating, especially to Erasmus’ students) or refuse to do extra work.

About the exams:

Depends from every teacher (ask during the first week to get a copy of the exam the students of the previous year took - or find an older student!) but :

Cm exams tend to be either a series of short questions (especially if it was a very factual class) or one to several large questions (for theory classes) where you’re supposed to vomit everything you remember from both your notes and the extra stuff your teacher recommended during week one (important if you’re looking to get more than an average grade).

Td exams often offer you a choice : either an essay based on a quote from an author or academic OR a french specialty called “un commentaire” based on an extract of the book you’ve been studying. if you’re following a language class, it’s usually one oral presentation and one written exam (ex : you’re given an extract and are to answer factual questions, translate a bit, write a small essay and then treat some more generic questions about grammar or whatnot).

More advice:

Take a look at the uni’s website and find the list of associations or nice things you could be a part of - where I went, we had the “Ulysse” association that organized cheap holidays all over Europe monthly and even a movie theater inside the campus.

Other students will most likely create a Facebook group to let the whole promo know when a teacher is absent (they won’t email you when that’s the case, they might just run into one student, tell them and leave it there), ask for help, give tips, etc. If not, convince them to do so!

Don’t wait to start working. French academics do not give a shite. I remember a Racine specialist during my first year of md (a master degree in research!) who would, every week, run late, sit, ask us what we were supposed to do that day, read the scene quickly, ask the students of that week to give their presentation and then give his opinion at the end of the class. Read the extra stuff, take notes (I often had to use my computer if I wanted to get everything and I’m the fastest typer i know), do all the extra assignments you can. Also, (it’s a shame) be suspicious of other students. some of them come from khâgne and hypokhâgne and will stab you in the back for half a point or a teacher’s approval.

A propos de Saint-Étienne je sèche, je n’y ai jamais mis les pieds.

Hope this helps! x

[rubberduckyrye]

List of Items Kokichi Ouma Likes and Loves and Their Item Descriptions

Time for an update on my analyzing the heck out of Kokichi

I decided to be a madman and use the Danganronpa V3 Wiki to gather up what items Kokichi likes and loves as gifts and put their item descriptions all in one place. I figure I’d make this for others to reference too, in case you wanna do head canons or theories revolving around the list. Let me know if I missed any! Also let me know if I got anything wrong because I can’t fact check these items for myself.

Edit: Categorizing them by food, clothes, and that sort of thing!

Food Items:

Boba Tea: A popular drink with a bunch of tapioca balls at the bottom. The chewy tapioca balls are made from the root of the cassava plant.

Non-Alcoholic Drink of Immortality: A non-alcoholic drink based on a legendary alcoholic beverage said to make the drinker immortal. It neither grants immorality, nor does it taste good.

Bubble Gum Bomb: A gum that makes an explosive sound when it's fully blown and popped. Weak-hearted people should not chew it.

Rock Hard Ice Cream: A cup of ice cream engineered to never melt. It can be carried around for a long time, even in summer. But it's so hard, ordinary spoons cant penetrate it.

Sukiyaki Caramel: Sukiyaki-flavored caramels that combine the flavors of meat, soy sauce, eggs, and caramel. The flavors are all really strong and don't mix well.

Gyoza In the Shape of a Face: A dumpling that's modeled after someone you swear you've seen somewhere before. The skin is thick and it's a little tough.

Astro Cake: A freeze-dried slice of cake sold to the public as space food. It's both healthy and vegetarian-friendly.

Fully-Automated Shaved Ice Machine: A shaved ice machine that automatically crushes up ice and pours strawberry syrup on top.

Clothes/wearable items:

Autumn-Colored Scarf: A chic autumn-colored scarf that can be used by men, women, and robots. It is very trendy and a fashionable accent to any outfit.

Wearable Blanket: A blanket that will completely defend you from the cold by closing off any gaps around you hands, neck, and feet. Moving around in it is near impossible.

Ladybug Brooch: A cute and fashionable brooch that resembles a seven-spotted ladybug. Despite how realistic it looks, it is not alive.

Cufflinks: An accessory that is attached to the cuffs of a shirt. The black onyx design makes it look good on both men and women.

Dog Tag: A dog tag used to identity soldiers. The same profile is engraved on two plates so that if the owner is killed, one is collected to report death.

Fashionable Glasses: A fashionable accessory that appears to be a pair of glasses, but does not actually correct its wearer's vision.

Dark Belt: A black-ish belt worn with karate clothes. It can only be worn by those with justice in their hearts. You can give it away, but something good might happen if you keep it

Books/readable items:

Book of the Blackened: A book of criminal offenses that contains records of the cruelest, most atrocious murders committed by humans. Many of these cases weren't released to the public.

Feelings of Ham: How to raise hamsters...is not what this book is about. It's a book about raising domestic animals for meat. For those who are interested in the farming industry.

Travel Journal: A thick journal packed with record of trips. However, it was actually written using vague knowledge and the rich imagination of someone looking at a world map.

Music/Sound Related Items:

High-End Headphones: Top-grade, high-end headphones. Use these if you truly want to hear the nuances in classical and jazz music.

Tattered Music Score: A tattered handwritten music score. Rumor has it that it's unpublished music from a certain famous composer.

Proxilingual Device: A tool that can translate any language, even animal sounds. It can pick up a dog's bark and eloquently describe the emotions in it with an electronic bark.

Puzzles, Toys/Models, and Games:

Milk Puzzle: A plain puzzle with one side as white as milk. It's said to be good for concentration training and is used for astronaut selection exams.

Clock-Shaped Gaming Console: A pocket watch-shaped game console with monochrome LCD and several buttons. Play a game called "Factory" and mash buttons to create more bears!

46 Moves of the Killing Game: A card game with Japanese characters relating to killing games. Some cards are, "A metal bat to kill demons," "Blacked are soaked in blood," and "Certain evidence over arguments."

Rock-Paper-Scissors Cards: A set of cards containing four rocks, four papers, and four scissors. If you bet your life on this game, it can be a thrilling psychological battle.

Dangan Werewolf: A party game of hope and despair. Draw cards and become the characters to start deducing and debating! Now on sale!

Electric Tempest (Loves this item): A cool high-powered water gun. The water shoots over 10 yards and it can be fired continuously for a whole minute. Fun for kids and adults!

Perfect Laser Gun: A replica of a laser gun used by upstanding citizens to punish rebellious or unhappy people. When carrying it around, be sure to watch your coefficient.

Gun of Man's Passion: A model of an imaginary weapon. It's powerful, but only the worthy may fire it. Embrace it to feel a man's fantasy. You can give it away, but something good might happen if you keep it.

Items that Mention Spirits, Paranormal or Supernatural:

Monkey's Paw: The mummified hand of a monkey said to grant three wishes. However, none of the wishes it grants have happy endings.

Cleansing Air Freshener: A spray air freshener. It has holy water mixed in, and is said to repel ghosts and paranormal entities.

Potted Banyan Tree: A potted banyan tree with spirits living inside it. It is said to be good luck. It grows aerial roots from the middle of its trunk.

Space-related Items:

Plastic Moon Buggy Model: A plastic model of an actual buggy used by astronauts on the moon. It looks plain, but it's actually filled with a burning passion.

Home Planet: A mini planetarium machine that can project the cosmos onto your bedroom walls when it's time for bed. Comes with a narration by a popular voice actor.that should be everything

Uncategorized Items:

Flame Thunder: A broom that lets mages fly at high speeds when they sit on it. It's a little bent, but it can also be used for cleaning.

Dancing Haniwa: A ceramic figure from the Japanese Kofun period. It is said to resemble a person dancing very intensely.

Work Chair Of Doom: The ultimate work station with a comfy chair and so much technology that you will never want to get up. Those who sit here will be in danger of becoming obese.

3-Hit KO Sandbag: Regardless of whether it's hit by a kick from a sickly child or a punch from a superhuman adult, this punching bag will always break on the third hit.

Weathercock of Barcelous: A weathercock that imitates the Portuguese "Rooster of Barcelous," A symbol of the truth, this is a popular souvenir from Portugal.

Pillow of Admiration: A pillow that helps you sleep well and gives you wonderful dreams. However, the dreams will show an entire lifetime making you feel intensely empty after you wake up.

Death Flag: The blackened might be one of us, so I refuse to stay with you guys! I'm gonna go hide in my room!

Survival Flag: The chance of this succeeding is only 5%. No one has ever made it out alive before...but this is my last chance to survive.

Hammock (Loves this Item): Bedding created by hanging a net between two poles or trees. Lounging in one of these is something everyone has dreamed of at least once.

Tentacle Machine: An extremely handy reacher grabber. Once you use it, you can't live without it.

Commemorative Medal Set (Loves this item): A medal set Monokuma made of himself and the Monokubs. You can feel the care he put into making it. You can give it away, but something good might happen if you keep it.

Key of Love: A key to certain places filled with greed and lust. You can give it away, but something good might happen if you keep it. (Loves this Item but all of the characters love this item for some reason)