#gosh dang it he has no fear for his lips

[witchofthescions]

The air in the hastily assembled tent was stifling. The members of the Eorzean Alliance sat across from the Garlean emperor, all of them dwarfed by the large man and his regal armor. She stared at him, trying not to glare daggers at His Holier-Than-Thou-ness as he kept talking circles around the delegates.

Diplomacy my ass, Fray growled, pacing in the back of Erna’s mind like a caged tiger. He ain’t here to settle nothin’. He’s here to make a show of how much better he is than us “savages.” “Oh look at us Garleans, haven’t we done so much good? We brought you peace and order!”

Fray spat on the ground as Erna’s lip curled.

Peace and order my ass. If lettin’ your people run amok and treat people like shit is your idea of order, then I’m the most chaotic woman you've ever met.

“This madness and bloodshed is of your own making. You broke the peace, not Garlemald.”

Oh yeah, it totally wasn’t your orders that caused the prisoner exchange to go sideways. That was Zenos’s idea. Or rather, the Ascian pretendin’ to be him. Gods, how delusional. A leader who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions ain’t fit to lead. Fray bared her teeth at Varis, though he couldn’t see her. I’ve half a mind to leap across this table and rip his damn throat out.

But no, that would defeat the purpose of these talks, which was to buy the Alliance’s army time to get into position. She admired that the delegates were still putting in an honest effort to persuade Varis to stop, even if talking to the man was like talking to a brick wall.

He sure has done his homework though, hasn’t he? Fray observed. He knows a lot more about Eorzean history and politics than I did when I first came down from Farreach, and that’s technically a part of it.

The thought crossed Erna’s mind that Varis might have his own ulterior motive for being here, just as the Alliance had theirs. But if so, what could it possibly be?

Man, I wish one of these guys would cut to chase and ask already. Fray let out the deepest of sighs. Diplomats, I swear. They gotta speechify for an hour before they can even begin to get to the damn point. I guess that’s useful here, when they’re actually tryin’ to stall, but gods above.

“Your Radiance,” Ser Aymeric spoke up, “I fear I can personally attest to the dangers of pursuing one’s vision with such righteous fervor. For a thousand years, the Holy See of Ishgard waged war with dragons. A thousand years of sacrifice, of sorrow and hate, in which we bathed in the blood of friend and foe alike. Had it gone on any longer, we may well have drowned. Yet we have chosen to raise ourselves out of this bloody spiral, and have since made peace with our former enemy.”

“So I understand,” Varis replied with that same dismissive air that Erna was coming to loathe. “No doubt the dragons were more receptive to your overtures in the wake of their leader’s demise.”

Before Varis could continue, a sharp, barking laugh rang out across the parley table. All eyes turned to the source: the Warrior of Light, head thrown back, laughing like she'd just heard the most hilarious thing in the world.

Fuck you, you ignorant fuck.

"Oh, oh that's... Oh Fury preserve if that ain't the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard!"

Varis glowered at the Roegadyn woman, momentarily thrown by her blatant disrespect.

"Ernastral, please," Aymeric quietly murmured.

"I beg your pardon?" Varis growled.

Ernastral's laughter tapered off as she leaned forward, resting her elbow against her crossed legs. She set her chin in her hand and lifted the brim of her hat so she could better meet Varis's gaze. Red and violet eyes bored into gold, her contempt just barely visible beneath the surface.

"Listen, hon," Ernastral said, her voice as sickly-sweet as can be, "if you think all the dragons were of one mind, then you're gosh dang naive."

The delegates looked nervously between Ernastral and the Emperor, some doing a better job of hiding their discomfort than others.

"Naive?" Varis's icy glare attempted to bore through her in turn, but the roegadyn remained unfazed.

"You heard me," Ernastral replied placidly. "You'd have to be pretty naive to think that any group of people's a monolith. You think peace would be possible if every single dragon wanted vengeance like Nidhogg? That every single dragon in the world prioritized Nidhogg's vengeance over their own wants and goals?"

Varis's face betrayed little emotion other than his displeasure.

"Because if that were the case," she sat up and gestured wide, "why, Hraesvelgr would've gone 'screw that promise I made to my beloved Shiva! I'm gonna join my brother in wrecking terrible, bloody vengeance on mortalkind!' His sister Tiamat would've gone 'screw atonin' for my mistakes! I'm gonna break outta this prison and join my brothers in fuckin' shit up!' Hells, Midgardsormr would've risen up from his lake and been like 'who dareth to harm my precious children?'"

Gohnoh'a stifled a laugh as she attempted to mimic Midgardsormr's booming voice. Alisaie covered her face as well to hide her mortified but amused grin.

Varis's displeased frown only deepened.

"It's almost as if peace were possible because some of the dragons actually fuckin' wanted it! And with Nidhogg no longer buttin' his scaly snout in like a greedy little pup tryin' to steal your sandwich, those dragons could actually have what they wanted!" Ernastral paused and made direct eye contact with Varis. Her airy tone turned cold and hard. "Just like the Populares might've been able to, if your... son hadn't interfered."

Varis sat a little straighter, nostrils flaring and eyes widening. Erna's words, and their implications, hung heavy in the air. Not a word was said for several agonizing moments. Erna leaned forward, returning to her previous position with her chin in her hand.

"Now, I can see you ain't actually here to parley, because that would require you to listen to someone who ain't you," Erna said, her voice dripping with pointed sarcasm. "So. What are you really here for, Varis?"

Much to the surprise of all assembled, Varis's face lit up. A smile crept across it, and he seemed almost... impressed.

"Cutting right to the quick," Varis remarked. "I am beginning to see why so many look to you for guidance."

Erna waved a hand dismissively. “Make no mistake, I ain’t no leader. Frankly, I hate sittin’ through these long, ramblin’ discussions. So stop pussyfootin’ around and playin’ at diplomat.” She looked him right in the eye. “It’s clear you ain’t got any talent for it, anyway.”

Varis’s scowl returned, his ire focused on Ernastral. But there was something else lurking behind the displeasure, something she couldn’t quite puzzle out.

After a moment, though, he finally spoke again. "How much do you know of Garlean history, Warrior of Light?"

Erna raised an eyebrow. "Mm... not much, I'll admit. I think my conversation with Zenos before our big clash was the most I'd ever gotten when it came to Garlean history."

"I must admit the same," Merlwyb cut in, giving the younger roegadyn a nod. "What I know is all that is considered common knowledge:  that Emperor Solus zos Galvus sought to rid the world of the eikon threat and set about his campaign of conquest."

Erna nodded back and gestured to Merlwyb. "Yeah, that's about all I got from Zenos."

"That is what they took great pains to impart to my people as well," Hien chimed in, hand resting thoughtfully against his chin. "But there is something that always bothered me. Namely, the timing."

Varis nodded. "Originally, we merely sought to reclaim what was rightfully ours. The lands we had been driven from due to our inability to wield magic. Were it not for the discovery of ceruleum, and the subsequent development of magitek, we might never have gained the power to take back that which was rightfully ours."

Erna raised an eyebrow. "Y'all were driven out?"

"I do recall that being vaguely mentioned in some of my lessons. And in pursuit of this goal were the disparate factions of Garlemald actually united," Hien remarked.

"I think all here can understand the desire to reclaim one’s homeland," Raubahn chimed in. "But why expand further─ that is my question."

"And therein lies my question as well," Hien said. "The Emperor only reached the Burn─the barrens said to have been laid waste by eikons─after conquering all the lands that lay between. What is more, I am quite certain the practice of summoning was not nearly so widespread in the days before the Empire’s founding."

Lyse frowned in thought. "When you put it like that, it all starts to sound like an excuse, doesn’t it? But to distract from what? Why are you really waging this war?"

The question hung in the air for several moments. Until, finally, Varis broke into another smile.

"…Finally, you ask the right question. I can but hope you heed mine answer and at last accept the righteousness of our cause. My goal is this: to return the world to the way it once was. The way it was always meant to be. In doing so, mankind will be made whole once more."

Varis surveyed those assembled, who sat in silence as his answer sank in. Just as Varis was about to continue, however, Gohnoh'a of all people chimed in.

"So, were you given that mission by Elidibus, or the elusive Emet-Selch?"

Varis's expression turned to a bitter, tired scowl. Worried murmurs broke out among the delegates, their gazes darting between the Emperor and Gohnoh'a.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Lyse said, turning to the miqo'te.

"When the world was shattered, so too was mankind," Gohnoh'a said, as if it were the most obvious statement in the world. "'Tis not a secret that the Ascians seek to rejoin the worlds... and, in so doing, the people themselves."

"I ain't entirely sure I'd call a plan that necessitates the slaughter of countless people a 'righteous' one," Erna muttered.

"Emperor Varis, do not trust the words of the Ascians," Aymeric pleaded. "They will lead you to your doom. My father thought to use them, but in the end he succumbed to their temptations. He embraced summoning like so many other pawns before him. Do not tell us you mean to do the same!"

Varis let out a bitter laugh. "To be a pawn, free from the burden of choice, would be a blessing. But I foreswore that privilege the day I learned that the Garlean Empire was built by the hand of an Ascian."

The room fell deathly silent.

"What?" Alisaie breathed.

"My grandsire, the former emperor, is of their number. And who better to build an empire capable of bringing about the calamitous change we desire? Would you condemn me for this alliance, for bowing to the will of these shadowy masters, when the prize is true and lasting peace?"

"Yes?" Erna said, without hesitation. "Considerin' the fact that it ain't gonna work that way."

Varis stared at her. "Why do you say that?"

"I mean... what makes you think the Garleans ain't gonna be wiped out, too? The Garleans are just as much one of these 'shattered' people as anyone else. Why, exactly, would you think y'all are gonna survive this rejoinin' process? That the Ascians would even want y'all to survive it?"

Varis had the look of a man who had a speech planned, but Erna's comment had just shot a big gaping hole right through it.

"She has the right of it," Gohnoh'a chimed in, just to twist the knife in a little further. "Should you go about triggering another half dozen calamities as the Ascians wish, the Garlean Empire will be wiped out alongside all other life on this world. There would be no one left to rule—leaving aside the fact that you likely would not be around to rule over anyone to begin with."

"Not just all life in this world," Alisaie spoke up. "All life on every star used in the rejoining. You'd be condemning not just our world, but several others to oblivion!"

"Assumin' you somehow miraculously survived, you wouldn't have anyone left to fight back against the Ascians with. Hells, if you go along with their plans, all you'll be doin' is addin' to their army, presumably. Considerin' the fact that this is what they want."

"Do you not see that this is our only option?" Varis finally countered, rising to his feet. "That we must unite as one in order to fend off the Ascian threat."

"Band together, aye," Raubahn chimed in. "But you would not have us merely work together. You would rather we all bend the knee to Garlemald and become 'as one' in your own image."

"I would liberate man from the prison of divergence—"

"Like the Ascians?" Gohnoh'a pointed out. Varis scowled.

"We would be the masters of our own fate!"

"You would be the master of ours, you mean," Erna muttered.

"Are these truly the words of Garlemald's ruler?" Nanamo chimed in. "The flaws and foibles which you so abhor are what make us who we are. Every nation ─ even yours, Emperor Varis ─ is made whole through the combination of these imperfections, the strengths of one compensating for the weaknesses of another. While it is true that man succumbs all too often to anger and avarice, he may yet overcome his baser instincts through the forming of bonds with others, fostering community and cooperation. That the protector of an empire should not only reject these fundamental truths, but seek to change them at so dear a cost to life is indefensible. Such a man is not fit to govern."

Erna grinned humorlessly. It was more a baring of teeth than an expression of mirth.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." She looked Varis right in the eye again. "And I'd go one step further. A man who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions—for his own decisions—is not fit to lead."

"Agreed," Gohnoh'a said, folding his arms over his chest. "I'll admit, I expected more of the vaunted Emperor of Garlemald. To find that he's naught but a scheming despot with delusions of saving the world is... disappointing, to say the least."

Varis scoffed, though it was clear Gohnoh'a's parting barb hit its mark. "I suppose I should not have expected more from mere savages. This discussion is at an end. I bid you make ready for our next meeting. It will not be at the negotiating table."

And with that, Varis strode out of the room.

[artisticbunny]

(Tiredsleepytiredsleepyboredtiredsleepyboredsleepy—)

Right HELLO! I been out for a few days haha sorry ya missed me! Saturday’s my off day and I went to an art museum yesterday to see my works! (And the many others) Also been working on my hair a lot this weekend and stuff to get it done and out the way for the next month, so sorry I’m late! But I’m here now!

So! In regards to your ✨wonderful✨ tale of Whispering Willow, how about some Corey lore?! (I know I’m going for like all most abstract guys lol I was gonna make a joke in regards to fractions but later—) Half dead, ALSO BETRAYED BY HIS TEAM! Big brain enough to have a potion on hand tho! Ôwô

Was it in cold blood this time!? It sure smells like cold blood bro. No way that was fraud or frame or lies!! HIS TEAM LEFT HIM FOR DEAD!! AHHHHHHHHHH I CANT!

(But gosh dang I hope I’m wrong at the same time lol. Also writers block utterly terminated! Yeah! Random Bonus question too tho: anything ur working on currently? Just school or something more? If it’s a secret that’s cool of course, but if it’s shareable I’d like to know! :D Oki I’ll buzz off now lol I need to finish an essay before I get marked down ^^” keep being awesome as always! Love ya Bun! <333)

Sorry for how long it took to answer this!!! I’ve been busy too >w<

Tw for gore, because Corey DEFINITELY didn’t get away unscathed!!!

Cory’s story isn’t super complex, they mostly just wanted to provide for their family!

Corey was an adventurer for hire, in simplest terms. He would go and join other adventuring teams for short quests. They never really stuck with a single group for longer than one or two quests, always on the move, and only taking a fairly small cut of the reward as compensation. Corey’s mentality is that others have families they need to feed too, he doesn’t need as much for his small family than others may need for theirs. His family consists of his mother and his little sister. he loves them dearly. Corey knows the work they do is dangerous, but he genuinely enjoys what he does, and is the main breadwinner of his family.

When Corey was betrayed and left for dead in Dread Caverns, everyone thought they died. His mother and sister were distraught. They tried to murder him so they could have just that little bit more of the money. It was their greed that pushed them to commit murder. Obviously, they told the guild it was an accident in the cave that lead to his death.

Though nobody knew, Corey WAS still alive, technically. He tried for months to find a way to get out, but with his limited range of movement, it proved too difficult to climb out of the caves on his own. Though there was ONE good outcome from his being betrayed: now having no heartbeat, he was basically invisible to the beasts that roamed the cave system. The same beasts that feed off of the fear of their prey. The first person to find him came soon after they realized this. Some random adventurer, trying to collect minerals and resources from the cave in order to study it’s properties. Corey tried approaching this person to ask for help, but as soon as he stepped closer, they freaked out. Corey is, quite literally, walking death. He has his head smashed in, cuts all over him, his lip split in half, dried blood running down his face, and even the limping walk of a zombie. To be completely fair, seeing him come at you in a dark cave like that, I don’t really blame the guy for practically pissing his pants! It doesn’t really help that Corey is partially mute, only really able to get out short sentences at a time, so on top of it all, he was completely silent walking forward XD

The adventurer practically bolted out of the cave after that, and told the guild. Thus birthed the rumor of the “King of Fear”, believed to be behind the properties of Dread Caverns.

Many would come over the next few years, none of them willing to listen to reason. They tried to kill Corey. Out of self defense, Corey ended up killing them.

He would rack up quite the kill count before Brook came along. Corey hates what he’s had to do, and hates that he’s begun to kind of like it in a twisted weird way. They hate themself because of this. They feel evil. They think they’ve started going insane. Being isolated in the dark for years with only the occasional battle, it was akin to torture.

Brook, even while terrified out of her mind, was the first one to actually stop and listen to him. She helped him to escape and finally see the light of day after years underground.

Here’s the boy!!!

To answer your last question, yeah I’m mostly working on schoolwork right now haha! But I’m also working on a new profile picture since the one I have currently was originally made for Halloween XD I’ll finish it soon and post it for you guys to see when it’s done!

[ofthepuzzle]

@kaibacorpbros​ said: 35) for sender to bite receiver’s lip while kissing playing the pocky game and Seto got a liTtle too compeditive as usual lmao AFFECTIONATE  AND  AGGRESSIVE  BITING  PROMPTS

       Like he didn’t learn his lesson the first time. But that didn’t ‘frighten’ Atem as much as he was scolding Kaiba for snapping the pocky right off the farthest end closer to him in a frenzy. So he’d do that challenge again. Sure, Kaiba did win the first time. But it’s time for Atem to—

       SNAP.        Additionally, his lips weren’t left out in the chomp process.

       “Ack! KaibA—“ He brings a hand to his mouth. “Did you have to do thAT—“         Atem runs his tongue over his lower lip, tasting a teeny bit of iron.

       Drat. Not that he hasn’t bitten himself on the lip by accident before but ouch!

       “Is that how you want to play? Fine. Third time’s a charm. This one is mine.”

[secretlittl3whore]

Not a Nightmare

Summary: You’re reminiscing over the last year when you hear Bucky having a dream in the other room, but it’s not the kind of dream you were expecting.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Warnings: smut! Unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your Willy). A little angsty first. Swear words. 18+ y’all please!

Enjoy my sweet nymphs. As always, you can request ;)

——

His nightmares kept him up most nights. It had been that way since i had connected with him in South America. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, he really didn’t even know who he was, except what he could glean from the Captain America exhibit and from what I could share of what Steve had told me. Part of me wondered if I made the right decision to follow him instead of returning to America, but when he recognized me and in the two weeks I was down there, attempted multiple interactions with me, I couldn’t deny him when he asked me to stay. I wish I understood why he asked.

Now here we are in Bucharest. Times are calmer for him, but the nightmares...they’re worse than anything I expected. Sometimes, he will awake screaming at night. Others he’s trying to fight some imaginary enemy and doesn’t wake till he’s forced. On occasion, I have been the victim of a night terror. His vibranium arm crushing my throat or him slamming me into the floor. Bucky always felt like shit afterwards, no matter what I said. At one point he tried to kick me out of his apartment and his life, saying he was too dangerous for me. I sat outside the door for six hours, listening to him cry. When I finally had knocked, he practically ripped the door of the hinges to grab me back in. He dropped to his knees that day, his arms wrapped around me as he buried his tear covered face against my stomach. It broke me to see him in such a vulnerable position. I remember running my hands through his hair for what seemed like forever until his grip around me loosened and his arms fell limply to his sides.

“Why did you stay? After, after all I’ve done?” His voice broke, as more tears slid down his face. My own eyes welled with tears as I kneeled in front of him. Slowly and gently, I took him in my arms, pulling him against me. Bucky tensed for a minute, but then slowly wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. I went back to running my fingers in his hair, contemplating my response.

“Because I want to be here for you. In every way possible.” A silent sob racked his body and I felt more of his weight on me as he crumpled. Bucky laid his head in my lap and brought his flesh hand to rest on my hip. He kept his vibranium on the floor, away, fear radiating from the way he curled it away from me. “Give me your hand Bucky.” He raised his head off my lap with wide open eyes.

“But...” he started to protest, but i shushed him, placing my finger on his lips.

“I’m here for you in every way.” I emphasized the last two words with a small smile. I wasn’t afraid of him and I certainly wasn’t afraid of his arm. “That means,” I reached for his hand and took the cool metal fingers within mine, “you don’t have To worry about keeping yourself from me.” Reluctantly he allowed me to bring his arm up to my lips. I knew he couldn’t feel it, but I kissed his had, listening to the soft whirs and enjoying the feel of the cool metal against my lips. Bucky continued to cry for a while more, my sleep shorts practically soaked and my legs so numb that I was probably going to have to crawl to bed. But he never let go, never moved his head, and never tried to remove his arm from my grasp.

Since that day, he has been exceedingly touchy with me. It was clear he was touch starved, I would be too, if all i ever knew was a harsh hand. I started to notice it when I had just returned from the market with groceries one day. I swore he had been asleep on his makeshift bed and I was trying to be as quiet as I could, but then felt a presence and a hand on the small of my back. I threw him a small smile over my shoulder before returning to my task. He stayed there for the entire time I put the groceries away, leaning against the fridge door and absentmindedly rubbing the exposed skin of my back. It was the hardest fucking lesson to learn, but I finally had enough willpower to not jump when he placed his cold fingers against my skin. I honestly loved the feeling of his metal pads dragging softly against the small of my back, but gosh dang were they freezing! Even despite the fact that he wore gloves almost all the time.

Nonetheless, i started to notice it more and more after this. Him standing close to me, having his hand on me at any point (or simply just brushing it against me), sitting near me, and my favorite, him laying his head on my lap when I’m sitting in the couch.

Had I fallen in love with the super soldier? I cannot deny it.

—

A whimper from the living room ripped me from my head. I sat up in the bathtub, trying to see if the sound was just in my head. Another whimper told me it wasn’t. I wrapped myself in a robe and padded softly into the living room where Bucky slept.

He wasn’t thrashing around, but his face was contorted in an expression I couldn’t read. Suddenly, a small moan left his lips and I just about swooned. What was this man dreaming about? At that moment, his blanket fell to the side and I averted my eyes respectfully, but definitely didn’t miss the tent that had formed in his sweat pants. I turned to walk away but then he moaned again, this time saying a name...my name.

I felt hot, not just in my face, but also in between my legs. He was dreaming about me? I almost didn’t believe it, but the man said my name yet again. Fine, if he says it again...

“Y/n...” Bucky moaned, a little louder this time. Damn it. Mustering all my confidence, I walked over to the sleeping man. It was a risk, and I knew it, but I’ll be damned if I lied to myself and said I didn’t want this man. Kneeling beside his bed, I gently brushed some of the hair out of his face. The super soldier startled awake and grabbed my hand harshly, breathing raspy. “y/n...what?” Voice sleepy.

“You were dreaming.” I said simply. He sat up quickly and pulled the blanket over himself, averting his eyes from my gaze. “Bucky,” he still refused to look at me. “Do you want me?” Bucky immediately snapped his eyes to mine, a clear and potent blush on his face. I heard him swallow hard before replying in the most quiet of voice,

“Yes.” Inwardly I celebrated as loudly as I could, but I kept cool on the surface. I surged forward and captured his lips. He responded immediately, moving his lips against mine. Without breaking the kiss, I straddled his lap wrapping my arms around his neck. Tentatively, he brought both hands to my hips. I licked his bottom lip and invaded his mouth when he opened. He moaned into my mouth as my tongue danced with his. When I pulled back, our breaths were short. His blue eyes glistened with tears,

“Are you sure you want me?” If it had been any other moment, I probably would’ve just cried and held him in my arms, but there was such a confidence within myself that I decided against such a meek answer. Instead, I pulled at the tie of my robe. Bucky almost instantly grabbed my hands, his eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

“Showing you just how much I want you.” As he relaxed his hands, I pulled the robe off. The cold air within the apartment perked my nipples. Bucky’s eyes traveled my body, but he didn’t move. Slowly, I led his hands to my chest. His metal hand played a dangerous game of temperature play with my breasts and a moan escaped from me. My cunt ached and I knew that I was wet from anticipation.

That moan must’ve given him some sort of confidence because he started to knead the fleshy mounds. He then dipped his head low and took a nipple into his mouth.

“Buck,” I moaned. His tongue laved over the nipple and I felt his teeth pull gently. I was a raspy, moaning mess by the time he switched over to the other nipple. Need friction. Taking his flesh hand from my breast, I guided it down to my aching cunt. Bucky stopped his lavishes on my nipple as he stared at me.

“I’m...” Bucky averted his gaze, “I’m out of practice.” Before he could get into his head and start comparing himself to his 1940s version, I kissed him deeply.

“So am I, we’ll learn together.” Bucky inhaled deeply and dropped his head to my shoulder. A finger touched my sensitive nub and I jerked. He started circling that area with his thumb as his other fingers explored, gathering wetness. A finger entered me and I gasped at the feeling. Another entered. Moving in and out, curling, and gently stretching me. I was a moaning mess at his musings. A white flash smashed my vision as he hit a certain spot within me and I moaned loudly. Bucky started kissing and licking my shoulders and neck, marking the skin as he paid attention to this spot within me. My moans spurned him on as he quickened his pace, still making sure to play with my clit.

“Buck...Bucky.” His name a mantra on my lips as I grasped his hair, my head falling backwards. His metal arm reached around my back, holding me in place. My orgasm was building, toes curling, that warmth within my belly. His fingers pumped and curled, edging me to the end. In a another flash of white It surged through me and I came on his fingers.

He looked surprised and proud of himself as he brought his soaked fingers to his lips. I almost came again as I watched him lick each one clean. His pupils blew out and he pulled my face to his, smashing his lips against mine. Tongue surged past my open lips, bringing the taste of me. Bucky lifted me off his lap and gently turned us around, laying me on his bed, but never breaking the kiss. He worked his pants off.

I pulled back from the kiss, my lungs screaming for air. He leaned upwards and I finally caught the full show. His dick was massive, too swollen and red. The veins popping. And fine curly hair at the base. He was Definitely bigger than I have ever had. I gingerly reached out and wrapped my fingers around him. Shit, he was thick, I could hardly touch my middle finger to my thumb. I looked up at him. His eyes were closed, mouth opened just a bit, and his hands were in his hair.

“Buck?” I brought his attention to me and he released his hands from his hair. “What’s wrong?” He had tears in his eyes again.

“I don’t want to be something you regret y/n.” He cried. I reached upwards and guided him down to my lips. His tears dropping onto my cheeks.

“Never. I’ll never regret you. I love you.” I whispered into his ears. Bucky froze. Oh shit, did I go to far?

“Say it again.” He spoke finally, still frozen in place, his ear next to my lips. I swallowed hard before repeating,

“I love you.” Bucky reached down between us, pumped himself twice, before lining himself up at my entrance. He pushed forward gently. Even with just the tip inside, I could already feel the stretching. He entered more, going slow. Bucky and I moaned loudly as he became fully sheathed inside. I grasped at his shirt, feeling full. There was a dull pain within my cunt and I breathed through it, the pain finally turning to pleasure. Almost as he could sense it, Bucky started to move. The rhythm was slow at first, him enjoying and getting reacquainted to the feeling.

My entire being felt jolted with every roll of his hips. His pubic bone was hitting my clit so perfectly that even at this slow pace, I was sure that he would throw me over the edge again. Bucky leaned closer to me, making sure to keep his weight on his forearms, and buried his head within my neck again. Wrapping my legs around his waist, i fisted my hand within his hair. He groaned and snapped his hips hard against me. The sound that left my mouth was pornographic, and he definitely liked it. Bucky started snapping his hips into me at a bruising pace, drawing moan after moan. I was incoherent, arching my back into him. He suddenly grabbed my hand from his back and thrusted it against the bed, holding it at the wrist. His metal hand hoisted my hips higher, and at the angle he was going, he was smashing into that special spot. I came in an instant, screaming loudly.

He didn’t let up his pace. Pulling out almost entirely before slamming back in. Both hands were now at my hips, gripping hard. There would be bruises in the morning. Groans and moans were rushing past his lips as he powered through, his stamina definitely a byproduct of the super soldier serum. Another orgasm built within me and he leaned over my ear,

“Fuck y/n, I can feel you clenching. Can you give me another doll?” I threw my head back as he bit into my neck.

“Bucky!” I cried as the orgasm came. Bucky slowed his pace, pressing open mouth kisses to my skin. He then began to work a mark into my neck. My body was on fire and really sensitive. I moaned loudly, fisting my hands into his shirt. For a moment I wondered why it was still on, but I figured that although he may be confident to be within me, he may not yet be confident to show me himself fully, and that was okay, we could work towards that. Once he was proud of the mark, he placed a loving peck to it before moving towards my face. Not an inch was left unkissed. He leaned his forehead against mine, blue orbs staring into mine.

“Ready?” He asked. I nodded slowly, kissing him gently. Bucky picked up his speed and this time, it was more brutal than before. Pubic bone smashing against the sensitive bundle of nerves, wet legs and balls slapping against skin making the most perverted of sounds. Bucky’s hands gripped mine. I arched into him again, writhing, unable to control myself at the amount of pleasure within. My moans were incoherent, his name slipping from my lips. Suddenly his hips stuttered and he slammed into me, wrapping his arms tightly around me and crushing me against his chest. His release came with my name on his lips, a string of soft repetition. For a while he held me, his cock warm within me. And then he pulled out, laying beside me. Sweaty bodies, heaving chests, and the smell of sex was an intoxicating combination. I felt drained, but happy.

Curling against him, I wrapped my leg around his hip, just to feel him against my cunt. Bucky reached down and pulled the blanket over us. As I felt sleep take over, Bucky pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you too Y/N.”

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House

Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?

Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.

I like to call those people: F**king morons.

Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.

Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!

King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!

(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)

Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.

Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?

This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.

Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.

King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.

King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!

(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)

Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.

Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.

The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.

Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!

But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.

The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!

(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)

The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.

Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.

Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.

(You know who you are. And you're weird!)

Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?

Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.

Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!

Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:

Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:

That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!

Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.

Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.

Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.

You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.

And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!

Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...

Do you hear that?

...

...

...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

IT!

IS!

CANON!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA!

HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.

And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.

And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!

“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.

King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?

Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--

Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!

Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.

WHAT I DISLIKED

...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?

But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.

IN CONCLUSION

"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)

[demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol]

Bedtime Reassurances

[image credit to @aloneandblueascanbe​, pls let me know if you want it removed!]

pairing: frankie morales x gn!reader

words: 1.8k

content: one innuendo / reference to sex so 18+ only please, job related anxiety, mentions of a pandemic, one bad word, i switch from present and past tense sorry, another comfort fic but at this point is anyone surprised, soft gentle touches, verbal affirmations, frankie just being the best most encouraging bf in the world

a/n: okay so this is very similar to the other frankie fic i wrote, but i actually wrote this one first and this one has some lines that im really proud of, so i figured i’d share this one anyways!! i hope y’all enjoy this, and thank you so SO much to everyone who read my first frankie fic, seriously i cannot believe how much interest it got and i am constantly blown away by how incredible y’all are 💜💜💜 p.s. my taglists are a mess rn so don’t feel obligated to interact, and pls speak up if you want to be added or removed!

Frankie hums under his breath a little as he walks up the stairs. The two of you had just finished watching a new movie and his spirits were pretty high (although part of that might have been because of your reactions to the movie- your laughter, your smiles, your head bobbing to the catchy music). He flicked off the hallway light before entering you room, at which he promptly paused at seeing you perched on the bed wiping your eyes.

“Sweetheart?” he questions, and you look over at him before sitting up and blinking furiously. “Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He quickly takes a few steps over to you, but his hands hover by your sides to gauge your reaction to his sudden nearness before moving forward to slide them around your back. The last thing he wanted to do was move too fast and cause you to flinch.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, I was just-,” you cut yourself off to take a stuttery inhale and a shaky exhale. “Just thinking, it’s not even related to anything.” Frankie tilted his head at you sympathetically as his mouth twisted into a small smile.

“If it has you this upset, I know it’s not nothing,” he paused, giving you a moment to process his words. “[y/n]” he whispered, and at hearing your name you look up to meet his eyes. “It’s me,” he said, with nothing but love and concern in his eyes. “You can talk to me. Please.” You blinked at him a couple times, and took a deep breath.

“I, um,” you stuttered and turned your eyes down, and you felt Frankie’s hand rub up and down your back. After a few deep breaths, you spoke. “I just started thinking about work again, and job hunting has been so stressful. And it all seems so scary. And I know it’s not, and I know I’m overthinking it, but I’m just so tired of starting over. And I’m just tired of not feeling good enough. And I’m sure these feelings are way too complicated over just a new job, but I’m just tired of constantly doing different things, and I know this is just the adjustment period making me feel this way, but I just want to be good at something, just one thing, and just do that one thing long enough to actually feel good about how I do that thing,” you paused to take a few deep breaths and at some point during your rambling you must have grabbed onto Frankie because both of your hands were gripping the front of his shirt. You loosened your grip a little and in response he held you a little tighter. As you met Frankie’s eyes for the first time, you couldn’t help but let out the small whimper at the pure understanding and love from him. It’s still so hard to believe that someone could look at you like that even in such a state. He brought one of his hands up to cup your cheek, and the other one wrapped around your waist.

“I’ve got you,” he said, and there was no way to not believe him when he was looking at you like that. “Just let it all out.”

“I’m afraid, but I’m also tired of being afraid, and I’m tired of not being good enough, and I’m just tired,” you laughed a little, even as tears filled your eyes. “I just want to be good enough.” Frankie’s heart cracks at your words, and as your eyes fill with tears, he feels his eyes start to sting too.

“Mi corazón. I promise you, every single person around you can see just how hard you’re trying. I know sometimes it’s hard for you to see, but every day I am in awe of just how much you do.” He sees your face scrunch up in the telltale way when you try to argue with him, so he tilts down to give you a soft kiss, and when he pulls away he can tell that put you in enough of a daze for him to keep going without you interrupting. “Despite what you struggle with, you get up and you help others, and you work on bettering yourself as a person, and you get stronger and kinder and more loving every single day. And every day I am beyond thankful that you let me into your life, that I get to be with you in the big moments and in the small moments, that I get to experience life through your eyes, because you see the world in such a way that it makes me feel so so young.” That gets a small smile from you, and now Frankie feels like he’s on a roll. “You’re kind to me and you’re kind to strangers and you’re even learning to be kind to yourself. You’re taking on the challenge of becoming a better person while also going after a new job while also doing it during a freaking pandemic.” Your breath hitches at that and while he doesn’t want to upset you, he never wants to upset you, he needs you to know this. “You think you’re behind everyone but you are leagues ahead in areas that some people aren’t gonna realize are important until years from now. And you’re doing that in a world where that isn’t the normal. And baby I am so proud of you,” he chokes up a little at that, and he sees worry creep up into your eyes as your hands come up to cup his cheeks, and ever so gently stroke the spot just below his eyes, already ready to wipe away any tears that might stray. “You are a wonderful person, a wonderful friend, and an even more wonderful lover. And I want you to go to bed, and wake up, and spend every minute of every day knowing that I love you so much and that there is so much good in you, and that you are stronger than any of your fears or anxieties or reservations, and that if you ever feel stuck I will always-,” he bumps his forehead against yours and he looks at you so head on that in that moment you feel he is looking straight into you, that he really does see everything he says he does, “-always, be right there by your side helping you out of the situation because I. Love. You.”

The first thing you noticed were his hands on your face, mostly because the pressure had increased, not in an uncomfortable way, just in a more noticeable way. And then you noticed the way his chest was moving, like saying everything he did genuinely winded him. And then you noticed his eyes, which if your being honest was probably the first thing you noticed because there’s no way not to: their deep, rich color with more depth than any other eyes you’ve ever seen, the almost imperceptible sparkle to them, because somehow this man’s eyes just sparkle, and the way that his eyes are the definition of love and compassion and trust, because there is no other way to describe them.

“Oh my gosh,” you whisper, because how on earth do you respond to that? As you wrap your arms around the back of his neck again and drag him down to kiss him, he pulls you closer as your lips touch and you press further into him because the need to have him so impossibly close is overwhelming. He breaks away for only a second before leaning back in, and he tilts you back to deepen the kiss. Your legs come up to wrap around his and he lowers you slowly all the way down onto the bed. When you break away you keep your hands firmly locked around the back of his head, keeping his forehead pressed to yours as you both catch your breath. “I love you so much,” you finally say, keeping your eyes locked on his. “I love you so dang much and sometimes I still can’t believe you’re here, with me, in our house, with me.”

“You better believe it baby, cuz there’s no getting rid of me,” his mouth cracking into a lazy smile as he nudges his strong nose against yours.

“Never,” you say, much more seriously than his joking tone warrants, but you need him to know, especially after everything he said. “I never want to get rid of you. I need you. I love you.” His eyes soften and while his teasing tone leaves, his smile never does.

“You’ll make it through this sweetheart, I promise. I’m here every step of the way.”

You beam at him, “Thank you Frankie. For everything. Everything.” Your eyes start to droop and he places a quick kiss on your nose before backing away to pull down the covers. You crawl up to the pillows, barely even acknowledging your own side in favor of his. He chuckles and crosses over to the other side, and when he’s under he cuddles you close before pulling up the blanket and securing it around you. “Tomorrow’s a new day, and somebody needs their beauty sleep to tackle their to do list.” You hum contentedly, wrapping your arms around him and slotting your head under his chin. His arms wrap around yours as he presses a kiss to your forehead and noses your hair.

“Well, you are definitely on my to do list because holy shit someone deserves some good sex for what you said,” you half mumble under your breath, and as Frankie breaks into a laugh he tries not to jostle you too much, but you caught him off guard and now he’s pretty much full on laughing, in the way that makes your heart clench a little because you love him and his beautiful laugh so dang much, the laugh that gives you so much pride because you’re the one that made it happen. When he settles down he pulls away slightly to look at you, and you are positively beaming at him, clearly proud of that joke you were able to come up with half asleep.

“Well there’s my [y/n],” he says in that deep raspy voice that only makes you smile more. He leans in to give your forehead a slow kiss.

“Thanks for finding me,” you whisper as you look up at him.

“Ehh, you’ve trusted me with most of your hiding spots, so I’ve gotten pretty good.” You prop yourself up on your elbow and place your hand on the side of his face to get a good look at him.

“But seriously Frankie, thank you. You always know exactly what to say, and I am so unbelievably grateful for you in so many ways.” His face goes as soft as he turns to give your palm a soft kiss, and you lean in one more time to kiss him properly before resuming your position. He gives you a gentle squeeze and it isn’t long until you’re drifting off to sleep in the arms of your love.

tag list: @keeper0fthestars​, @scribbledghost​, @icanbringyouincold​, @bestintheparsec-reads​, @ezrasarm​, @andriecastana​, @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​, @murdermewithbooks​, @remmysrecs​, @lv7867​

[quirkfics]

neutral

a commission for the gosh dang fantastic @danteowesme !

wordcount: 3k warnings: sfw, mild flirtation, tension, first meetings pairing: Atsuhiro Sako | Mr. Compress x Reader (gender neutral)

A flicker of red catches your eye. It's instinct that has you turning towards the movement, instinct that has your heart speeding. The building is locked down, and no one is supposed to be moving in or out of the rooms they were in when the lock down started. 

Supposedly there's a villain inside, roaming the halls for as yet unknown reasons. So, the fact that you saw something moving out of the corner of your eye? Feels like reason enough for your heart to start pounding. When you stop and focus, a red gloved hand is less than an inch away from an expensive exhibit, frozen mid reach. Achingly slowly, your gaze travels up the attached arm, covered by a bright yellow sleeve, all the way to their neck, and then stops on their face. It's hidden by a white mask, streaked with black patterns. It’s eerie in the dim light, but the top hat they’re wearing is tilted at a jaunty angle. For some strange reason, that sight eases the sting of fear. You can feel your lips twitch and you have to clench your jaw to get them to stop.

For a few moments, you simply stare at one another, silence reigning supreme. 

"Will this be a problem?" He finally asks first, moving his fingers in a slow and dexterous wave, tilting his head to the side. Half of you waits for his top hat to tip, but it stays firmly on his head, even as he straightens from his half bent position. A slim cane comes into view, making you frown - you would have sworn he had nothing in his hands a moment ago - but all he does is rest the tip of it on the ground, curling both hands over the ornate top. “Well?” He prompts, when you don’t immediately answer. You have the feeling that he should be arching a brow, or possibly smirking - he makes no moves towards his mask though.

For many reasons, some of them terribly obvious, you shake your head. “Of course not,” you add, acutely aware of the tension in your words, in your shoulders, in every fiber of your very being. You don’t know much about him, and the announcement about the villain had been terribly vague - maybe he isn’t the one the heroes are searching for? "Should it be?"

He neatly sidesteps the question with a hum and a single tap against the chin of his mask. “You know, I wouldn’t blame you if you were to say - shout?” He rolls a shoulder, adjusting the cane so he can lean a bit of his weight against it. He rather looks like he’s waiting for a member of an audience to speak, with the way his head is still tilted. “Scream, perhaps? It would be the natural thing to do, I would imagine.”

And it would be the natural thing to do. The building is absolutely chock full of heroes at the moment. But the thing is, they’ve locked it down with all the civilians inside. From the way the heroes had come through, canvassing each room, and then each floor, from their angry mutterings and their bitingly quick reassurance - you’re fairly sure that the villain isn’t here to injure anyone, and though you’d like to keep trying to fool yourself, his statement kind of cements your initial thought. He is the villain they’re looking for. Why else would he bring up shouting?

You bite your lower lip, using the sting to keep your eyes from darting to the case he’d been about to.. Do something with. Semantics are everything in some cases, especially for some quirks. You can't even begin to guess what abilities he may or may not have, so it’s probably best to stick to technical truths.

“Why would I shout?” You decide to ask, cursing the itch of rising curiosity. “I haven’t seen anyone try anything illegal.” Which, you haven’t. A masked man reaching for a locked case isn’t illegal. Frowned upon, maybe, but plenty of people wear masks for a myriad of reasons these days. Heroes, civilians- How can you be entirely sure of his nature just by taking a single look?

The masked gentleman tilts his head back and laughs, uncaring when it echoes through the room. He taps his fingertips against the cheek of his mask when he’s finished, and you think he might still be smiling. His shoulders look a bit more relaxed anyway. 

“Oh, how delightful! Now, let me guess - you’re a villain in the making? Or-” He hums and then makes a vague gesture your way before he twirls his hand about in a circle. “Turn around if you would?”

Turn around? And give him your back? No. You don’t move, you only raise a brow, which draws a large sigh out of him, though the tone of it is still tinged with mirth.  

“Perhaps a neutral party then. In need of convincing?” He takes a few measured steps your way, and you know it’s idiotic, but you’re tempted to listen. After all, nothing about him has been truly threatening so far, and- Really, it’s likely that he’s only here to steal something. You can hold your tongue and let him entertain you until-

Well, until he gets what he wants and escapes, or the heroes show up to arrest him.  

“Try me,” you volley back, forcing yourself to loosen your limbs, to uncurl your fingers from your fists. This is nothing more than a friendly conversation, so there’s no need to be so tense, is there? You wonder how long you can lie to yourself before your brain stops accepting it. Probably the first sign of him pulling some sort of weapon- your eyes drop to the cane. No, you’re not going to think about it. He’s going to try and sway your opinion of villains, or so he’s implied.

He stops about halfway to you, drumming his fingertips over the top of his cane, watching you closely - or at least angling himself towards you that way. “Or,” he says after a moment, his voice no less smooth, though it lacks some of the pleasantness of earlier, “perhaps you’re a would-be hero? Trying to lull my poor self into a false sense of security?”

Your eyebrows pop up in surprise and then lower in concern. “I will say that I’ve no current designs to be any kind of hero, on purpose or otherwise.” You wait a moment, wondering if he’s trying to trick you into saying something incriminating. Or maybe he’s waiting for you to offer up something to prove you’re trustworthy? You lick your lips, hoping you won’t regret your decision, and offer your name. 

He walks closer at your admission, taking a single hand off of his cane and offering it to you when you’re an arm’s length away. You think he might want to shake hands, but you don’t reach out. What if his quirk has something to do with touch?

“Hmm. My compatriots generally call me Mr. Compress, or simply Compress, if you’d rather.” Compress drops his hand, apparently unbothered by your decision to withhold your touch. “Now, what exactly would it take to convince someone of your caliber that our society is.. Flawed?”

You scoff, and tense when he starts to circle around you. You turn to keep up with him, heart speeding when Compress chuckles at your antics. “It- it shouldn’t take much for most people to agree that our society is flawed. Unless someone is a hero hopeful, it’s-”

“But you’ve never been a hero hopeful?” He wonders, coming to a stop and tilting his hat back. “Not even once?”

“If someone says they haven’t even entertained the thought, they’re probably lying. Heroes have everything, and the rest of us-”

“You hardly sound like you need convincing,” Compress teases, reaching out lightning quick to tug gently on the strings of your sweatshirt. The touch sends a shiver down your spine, but nothing else happens to you. You’re still yourself, still whole, and when you flex your hands at your sides, you’re still in complete control of your own body. “Maybe you’re just enjoying the sound of my voice?”

“It is a nice voice,” you agree and then wrinkle your nose, silently horrified. That- You probably should have kept that to yourself. 

Compress, on the other hand, seems delighted. He spins to a stop, right back where he began, coat flaring out around his legs. Theatrics, at least, are very clearly part of his repertoire. “I am rather fond of it,” he muses and then turns his head towards the empty doorway and the hall beyond it. “I’m rather hoping to have an audience by the end of all this, in fact, so, seeing as you’re sympathetic, perhaps you could do me a favor?”

Your gaze finally darts to the case. The trinket inside looks expensive - and much too large to carry out. You glance back at Compress, curious about the favor, but… “That would probably make me your accomplice,” you tell him quietly, an echoing shout reaching the room from far away. 

“Neutral,” Compress says in a teasing tone. “And you’re correct, likely it would make you my accomplice if you were to agree. I suppose I’ll have to bring forth all the villainy I have stored in my bones then, yes?” He reaches for your arm, and though your heart chokes you, though adrenaline surges through you like a riptide, all he does is close his fingers carefully around your bicep. He’s gentle, though his hold is firm. Compress leads you close to the case and then turns your back to it. “Can’t have you learning my tricks, you understand?” He keeps his hold on your arm, only tightening when a soft click and then rolling noise across the floor makes you tense. “It’s quite alright, I promise you. Harmless,” he says, and then pauses, doing something else to the case. “Unless you slip on one,” he finally adds. “But I doubt you’ll need to worry about that.”  

You can hear thundering footsteps now, and with a start you realize that the heroes must have had someone watching the security camera feed. You’d even heard them talk about it when they’d made their rounds earlier. You glance up at it, unsurprised to find that the wires connecting it to the wall are- cut? And the lens has been covered, just for good measure.

“Now that that is all squared away,” he says softly, rolling his shoulder as he steps back from the case, tugging you along with him, “the favor.” Compress spins you until you’re face to face with his mask, the strange designs nearly making you cross your eyes. His cane is gone, you notice, as he places a hand on either of your shoulders. “All I’m going to ask you to do is listen to those dear heroes, the police, the medical personnel, and you will not only keep your neutrality, but earn a bit of leeway from both sides. How does that sound?”

“..Leeway?” You ask, not entirely trusting. 

“A bit of freedom from-”

“I know the definition,” you interrupt, licking at your lips again in nervousness. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed by Compress, if the slight downwards tick of his mask is any indication, but he doesn’t comment on it. “But I-” 

A terribly loud shout has you jumping, and then your back is to Compress’ chest and one of his gloved hands is curled carefully around your throat. Two heroes nearly burst through the empty doorway, taking some of the frame with them, but then come to a very sudden stop when they see Compress’ hand on your neck. 

“Just in time!” Compress crows. “I thought the lot of you would miss the finale - which would be such a terrible shame. I worked so hard on-”

“Release your hostage,” one of the heroes snaps, clenching their hands into fists. “And back away slowly. There’s no need for this to get any more-”

Compress laughs, tapping a single fingertip against your racing pulse. He leans in close, the brim of his hat pressing awkwardly against the side of your face. “I hardly think you’re in any position to be making demands. I’ve made- a friend here, and I make so few of them, I would hate to lose contact so quickly.”

“No one needs to get hurt,” the other hero declares, lifting her hands up in the air and taking a step back. “If you release them, there’s a good chance that-”

“They’re such bores,” Compress tells you, sighing loudly enough to stop the heroes talking. “Interrupting constantly, so worried for your safety. They’ll barely enjoy my show!”

“Barely?” You risk asking, trying to keep the trembling down to a minimum. He still doesn’t seem like he’s going to injure you, and you’re kind of distracted by the warmth of him against your back, the faint scent of soap and.. Shoe polish? You can’t quite decide how to feel.

“Barely,” he repeats. “Oh, there’ll be a moment of shock, a gasp, but this is hardly the reception I anticipated. Crowds are always terribly fickle.” He lifts a fingertip off of your throat and both the heroes tense, their eyes zeroing in on the movement. “I’ll make do though, it’s what I’ve always done.”

“I’m ordering you to-” One of the heroes starts, almost breathless, their eyes wide as they take in your face and Compress, slowly lifting another finger off of your neck. He’s slowly back up, giving himself some space, though he isn’t taking you with him.

“Please,” he says, projecting his voice so it echoes throughout the room, “a moment of quiet for the crowning achievement of the evening. I’ve slipped past you thrice, stolen priceless things right out from under your nose, and now-” Compress’ hand isn’t even truly touching your throat anymore, it’s simply hovering in front of it, close enough that the heroes aren’t willing to risk rushing him. Not yet. “A bow,” he declares, twirling his hand as he leans forward- and then the heroes are shouting. You don’t dare move, hardly able to breathe as the heroes dart across the space and take you in hand, corralling you in between them as they turn to survey the absolutely empty room.

“How did- Where-” One of the heroes mutters, and then it’s a whirlwind of an hour inside the building before the police are insisting that you go with the medics to the hospital, just in case. 

As soon as one of the nurses takes you to a private room to be checked over, she insists you ditch your sweatshirt, just to check for bruising on your arms and neck. As soon as you set it down on a chair, a soft little click reaches your ears as something falls to the ground and starts to roll away. A blue marble catches your eye, glittering in the fluorescent lights.

[just-another-thundermans-blog]

All Alone - Chapter 1 Part I

[A/N: Hey guys! This is a fic that I wrote a while back (mid June) and it's actually the first contribution I made for his fandom! You can find it on both AO3 and FF.net!

And now, I've decided to post it on Tumblr! I hope you enjoy!]

---

Summary: Today was going to be a normal day at Hiddenville! Until it wasn't.

[Or, in which Max Thunderman deals with loss and grief with no one to support him.]

---

TRIGGER WARNING:  CHARACTER DEATH, GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF DEAD PEOPLE, BLOOD AND INJURY, SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE (Later on), SHOCK, AND TRAUMA!

IF ALL OF THIS TRIGGERS YOU, THEN DON'T READ FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!

-0-

Today was going to be a normal day.

He woke up, went through his daily routine, ate breakfast, and then headed on his merry way to the hellhole that they call 'school'.

Now, he wouldn't exactly call himself a star student (not by any means) but (while he wanted to take today off), as per school law, an extra day of absence on his part would catapult him straight into summer school.

Ridiculous.

So, as he made his way towards Hiddenville High at a leisurely pace, tardiness not at all on his mind, Max Thunderman smirked ('Villains don't smile , Maxie.').

Yup. Today was going to be a pretty normal day at school.

-0-

School was boring (as usual-). Today just seemed extra… dull for some reason. It felt like there was some sort of heaviness that lied heavily within his gut and it was making him uneasy. It was probably just him being bored. Yeah- That. 

However, no matter what he tried, nothing seemed to alleviate the cloud of painfully dull boredom (?) that suddenly graced his soul. Not even the pranks he got to play on Bradford (and a few other teachers) managed to lift that stupid sensation off his chest.

So he went to pick on Phoebe! Nothing manages to cheer him up like picking on his (older) twin sister be it messing up her perfectly styled hair or flicking her ears ('Maximus Thunderman, for the last time, stop. It! ')

He went through the usual routine of teasing her about her new crush of the day (a boy named Jacob? Jason? Whatever-) and ruffling her hair ('Ha! You're so short I can easily do this !') until it was a mess of entangled strands. 

He smirked as she glowered at him through flyaway strands of hair and even managed a grin as she stomped away from him, dragging away Orange ('Cherry Max, it's Cherry!') with her.

That smirk dulled slightly, however, as the feeling of dullness and unfulfillness still weighed heavily on his chest. He reached up a hand to rub at his abdomen and frowned in irritation and slight anxiety.

Just what was going on? 

He almost felt worried for a second, but then shrugged it off. Must be a side effect of him staying up late inventing last night. 

(He knows that's not the case but it's easier than admitting that the boredom might just not be that.)

Today was a normal day.

-0- 

The school day didn't take long to proceed after that. 

He did notice though, as he made his way to the English classroom alone ('Hahaha, poor , little Max Thunderman! No friends and no talent! Super hero ?! More like Super zero !), that Phoebe was strictly not looking his way. She was frowning heavily and (even though it was apparent that she saw him and mentally acknowledged his presence) her eyes were looking anywhere but at him.

If that's not enough to tell him that she's angry at him, then maybe her dragging Orange ('For the last time Max, it's Cherry ! Cher-ry !') towards the farthest seats from him was a more probable sign.

Just maybe.

"Maximus Thunderman!" He snapped his head towards the fuming English teacher. Shoot. He wasn't paying attention.

"Yes, Mrs. Brown?" He replied, politely for the most part, as he gritted his teeth briefly. Gosh, this weird sense of dread (He was done pretending it was simply dull boredom .) was setting him on edge. At least his Thundersense was not blaring, that would've been bad .

"You haven't been paying attention to this lesson, were you young man?" The woman gritted out, her expression furious. What was up with her, he wondered as he stared blankly at the angry woman (did she really think he'd answer that question?).

Then it clicked. 

Oh right! She was one of the teachers who got caught up in yesterday's prank! It actually took effort to stop a smile from splitting his face and ruining his innocent expression. Dang, was that hard !

Apparently, he was taking too long to answer because the woman exhaled furiously through her nostrils and spun around, pen in hand. She jotted down God-knows-what on a small slip of paper before spinning around yet again (Gosh how is she not dizzy???) and slamming the slight slip on his desk. 

It was a note. To his parents. 

He peered at the angry teacher from underneath his eyelashes and pocketed the stupid thing. It would be a wonder if he even remembered the slip was there at all. 

The teacher remained standing there for a moment before gritting out, "You could use the time to pay attention and study instead of coming up with stupid pranks . Detention, Mr. Thunderman!"

Well, that escalated quickly. 

Not wanting to show how much it bothered him (not under that much scrutiny from the other students) Max silently nodded, looking as bored as he can be as the teacher glared at him one more time and spun around to finish her lesson.

Maybe today wouldn't be so normal after all.

-0-

Detention was… Painful.

Normally, he wouldn't mind the extra two hours of school. Most of the time he would sit alone and flip through his phone and maybe even finish his stupid school assignments (Gosh why were the letters dancing and floating around like this?!) as he waited for the time to pass.

Not like this though. That stupid feeling of dread that he had in his chest since the beginning of the day was so intense now it was almost burning. He couldn't hear anything past the buzz of panic in his ears as all his internal alarms blared to life .

He was sure that stupid Mrs. Brown was trying to talk to him but he wasn't in a good enough state of mind to do anything but stare and attempt to take deep, even breaths through the panic that was clogging his veins.

He tried everything to distract from the stupid feeling of fear and danger. He attempted to solve his homework but couldn't do much as the letters floated around his book in an almost mocking manner. 

Math was slightly better because the numbers stayed in their damn place , but between the underlying panic in his gut, the clamminess of his hands, and his tense muscles (Two pencils were snapped because of said muscles) he didn't get even past the simplest of problems.

It didn't take long for him to give up on school work and to try to take a nap (You can guess how that worked out.).

It seemed agonizingly slow but soon enough, an hour and a half passed. Feeling slight relief that he'd be out of school soon, Max toyed with his (third) pencil and attempted to calm down.

It was just half an hour. Yeah, he could do that. 

Or… well, he could have done it had it not been for the sudden, sharp tug that almost sent him flying out of his seat. 

The teacher who was standing (or- well- sitting .) guard on him raised an eyebrow at the sudden screech of his chair but soon overlooked it in favor of the magazine he was holding. 

Max didn't even get to catch his breath when the second tug hit him. This time he did get out of his seat, panting as his Thundersense went insane.

The teacher (what's-his-name) looked up sharply from his magazine and glowered at him, "Mr. Thunderman sit back down. "

But Max didn't hear him.

Between the sudden feeling of being dumped in an ice bath and the painfully urgent tug in his belly, Max couldn't hear a thing but the sound of the blood rushing to his ears and suspiciously familiar screams of panic.

"Mr. Thunderman!"

Max's head snapped up, his wide eyes fixating on the angry teacher. He blinked once before he licked his chapped lips and bolted out of the classroom.

Max thought he had heard the angry teacher yelling his name as he ran like a bat from hell away from school. His surroundings all blurred as he ran, nothing but his home, his family , on his mind. The tugging feeling got a bit sharper and Max tried his best to speed up even more.

Something was very wrong at home. 

'Oh God, please let them be okay, please- please-' 

He was probably garnering strange looks from running so fast. He didn't care. Maybe he should calm down and try to think it through. What was he thinking? Of course not! His family was in danger right now, so maybe he should be running faster than this. 

By the time he made it to his house, he was red in the face and panting hard. He didn't care nearly enough about that right now and he couldn't calm down, wouldn't calm down, until he saw all of his family well, alive, and breathing .

He didn't even bother with knocking as he all but broke the door down in his urgency. Looking around wildly, he saw no form of life in the suspiciously dark house (despite the daylight) which only made the alarm bells in his head blare louder .

"MOM?! MOOOM?!" He hollered at the top of his lungs, hoping for some kind of reaction, "MOM, DAD?!? PHOEBE, BILLY, NORA??!??!" Max yelled again, desperation and true fear being the only things he can clearly feel at the moment.

Quickly closing the door behind him, Max ran into the living room looking around for any form of life in the silent house-

And paused in sheer horror.

There, lying on the floor, were two bodies . Two very familiar bodies of the very people he was calling for a moment before.

Max couldn't believe his eyes. A slight whimper escaped his lips as he backpedaled in alarm. He yelped as he felt himself trip on something and was helpless to stop himself from hitting the ground butt first. He blinked slightly as the situation began to register a bit more in his horror-struck brain.

"Mom? Dad?" He mumbled weakly (he didn't even recognize the sound of his own voice -) feeling numb as he stared, wide-eyed, at his parents' prone bodies lying on the floor. He noticed (through the horror and choking terror) that they were both very still (something that simply didn't happen because Barb and Hank Thunderman were both so active and full of life.) and lifeless.

His Mom ('Oh sweetie, would you like some milk with that?') was lying on her side, her normally vibrant auburn locks looking dull as they lied on her face. Even in the dark, he could see that a disturbingly large patch of darkness was firmly staining her shirt and the ground beneath her.

His Dad, on the other hand, was lying on his back, his limbs sprawled around him in awkward angles. The man's body looked like it was used as a chew toy and (even though he was on the darker side of the room) it was very obvious which one of his parents sustained the most damage from whatever the hell happened here.

-0-

Next

[spiffysixxsense]

Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

24

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess. 

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend 

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently 

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette 

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up? 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus 

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol. 

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US. 

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever. 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin 

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble. 

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol) 

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar. 

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in. 

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream 

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much 

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol) 

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them. 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family. 

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with 

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

4

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers 

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical. 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't 

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any 

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time. 

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really. 

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

[rbeljedi]

                                𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

repost,  don’t reblog

A STAR WARS BOY.

basics !

FULL NAME.   luke skywalker PRONUNCIATION.   lewk sky-walker idk NICKNAME.   none, please don’t give him nicknames, “luke” is already just one syllable GENDER.   male . HEIGHT.   5′9″ AGE.   19-55+, verse dependent ZODIAC.   gemini SPOKEN LANGUAGES. Galatic Basic, Huttese, some binary, some Shyriiwook

physical characteristics !

HAIR COLOR.   sandy blonde EYE COLOR.   pale blue SKIN TONE.    fair, usually tanned BODY TYPE.  slim, athletic ACCENT.   git ‘er done Outer Rim hick accent VOICE.    mar camel bb DOMINANT HAND.  right. it got chopped off. it’s still the right one. POSTURE.   good posture, mostly; shoulders back, spine straight. weight usually balanced between feet but has a tendency to lean on just about anything.  chin parallel with the ground.  slumps when sad/depressed/upset by curling shoulders forward.  SCARS.   wrist: no scar but he does wear a prosthetic right hand, often covered with a single glove if it the inner workings are visible for some reason.  the amputation scar is only visible when he removes his prosthetic.  chest/shoulders/back: branching fractal lichtenberg scars from repeated and sustained blasts of force lightning, these cover most of his torso and upper arms, but are specifically concentrated on his chest and upper back where he sustained direct hits, repeatedly, from the emperor. face: nose is misaligned from being broken by the wampa and surgically repaired, scar in his hairline from the same attack.  misc: minor other scars from battles/crashes/etc.  TATTOOS.   none. BIRTHMARKS.   none. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).   blonde hair makes him stand out, along with unique blue eyes.  These are the traits most often commented on by others, in addition to his relatively short height, and which make him most identifiable. 

childhood !

PLACE OF BIRTH.   Asteroid of Polis Massa (unknown to Luke himself) HOMETOWN.    Tatooine; outside of Mos Eisley BIRTH WEIGHT.   below average (typical in twins since they are often born early, and luke was the smaller of the two babies) BIRTH HEIGHT.    small. MANNER OF BIRTH.   natural, droid assisted.  FIRST WORDS.  MMMMMM which uncle owen and aunt beru taught him to say when trying new foods. SIBLINGS.   twin sister: leia organa PARENTS.   anakin skywalker & padme amidala (unknown to Luke).   PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT.    none in childhood. anakin eventually sacrificed himself for luke and his ghost can, occasionally, still appear to him in visions.  Luke has know knowledge or memory of his mother. 

adult life !

OCCUPATION.   rebel. jedi.  (rbeljedi get it? ;) ) CURRENT RESIDENCE.   nomadic.  keeps quarters on Coruscant, the Jedi Temple/Academy on Yavin IV, often stays on the Millennium Falcon. eventually exiled to Ahch-To or the Jade’s Shadow, verse dependent  CLOSE FRIENDS.  han solo, leia organa, lando calrissian, wedge antilles, mara jade(-skywalker), chewbacca, c-3po, r2d2 RELATIONSHIP STATUS.   verse dependent; single himbo for a long time, then married, then a widower FINANCIAL STATUS.  comfortably middle class (far richer than uncle owen and aunt beru would have ever dreamed), often with senate funding of jedi academy activities/needs DRIVER’S LICENSE.   do you need a license to drive in SW. . . ?  if so he probably has one NOW but definitely didn’t for like ... all of the OT.   CRIMINAL RECORD.   oh boy.  Treason, terrorism, arson, murder, theft, smuggling, sabotage, murder/assault of an imperial officer, conspiracy to overthrow the government, co-conspirator . . . i’m missing things but Luke fought in an uprising against the established government; his record is about six miles long.  VICES.   his vices are less ‘problematic things that he does’ and more reflected in his mood swings.  dang gemini mood swings make you hard to get along with sometimes and loneliness makes him make Bad Choices. 

sex and romance !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   bisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.   biromantic PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE.    submissive  |  dominant  |  switch   PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.    submissive  |  dominant  |  switch LIBIDO.   medium.. TURN ON’S.    sneaky stuff, emotional connection, gentle lip biting/hair pulling, laughing TURN OFF’S.    hurting, derisive words, etc. LOVE LANGUAGE.  acts of service  RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.   gosh. choosing the wrong person for the wrong reasons and then being Surprised when it doesn’t work out.  In good relationships (rare) he can get hung up on the little things (worthless gemini again) and moody.  It’s usually not directed at his S/O but they have Deal With Him and that’s a lot. 

miscellaneous !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.   binary sunset (the force theme) - john williams HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.   studying jedi texts, meditation, occasionally still tinkering with droids and ships, fishing and gardening, cooking.  MENTAL ILLNESSES.  none diagnosed; pstd most likely, occasional depression and anxiety, typically managed with meditation PHYSICAL ILLNESSES.   none. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.  probably an even split but honestly what are brain cells. FEARS.   falling to the dark side, losing his family, not being worthy/enough to uphold the jedi lineage, Darth Vader. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.   AHN: 15-20% confident (honestly should have only been 5-10 but he was cocky), ESB: 40-50% confident, ROTJ: 70% confident, EU: 80% confident, NT: 40% confident (but still wrong most of the time) VULNERABILITIES.    his family, he’ll go bananas to keep them safe. 

TAGGED BY:    @solosboy​ TAGGING:    all skywalkers & rebel pilots. if ur character is identified as a skywalker or rebel pilot or both, go nuts.

[breg21]

Ladynoir Month: Akuma

@ladynoirjuly2019

Ao3 FFN

I saw Annabelle tonight, and let me tell ya, it was scary as all heck. I'm beyond tired

I hope you guys enjoy!

Beads of sweat flew off her forehead as she dodged each and every one of the Akuma's attacks. This akuma was actually pretty simple, a man from one of the more hot continents tried ice cream for the first time and was hit with a nasty surprise when he got his first ever brain freeze.

Apparently even that's enough of an excuse for Hawkmoth to Akumatize someone.

While he was difficult to fight at first, he was a piece of cake once she gave Tikki her frosty power boost. The only issue at the moment was Chat didn't have his. Apparently, Plagg had mistaken the power boost for just another piece of cheese.

Go figure.

So on top of dodging multiple attack, Ladybug also had to keep a sharp eye on her partner who was having trouble simply staying on his feet for the time being. While it was a pain in the butt to keep him safe, she couldn't deny how cute it was to watch him stumble around like a cat in water.

Before she could get out another thought, she was knocked back when the akuma swiped the area around it, putting everything but her head in ice. Upon seeing this, Chat slid his way over to her while very ungraceful dodging all of the akumas attacks.

"M'lady are you alright?!" He asked with great concern.

She rubbed away the small headache that temporally formed from the hit. "You know how people get frozen in cartoons and it's all cute and funny? Well, that's a load of kitty litter because I'm freezing right now!"

He gave a smile at her "litter' comment as he unleashed a cataclysm on the ice surrounding her.

With the ice around her shattered, she took Chat's hand and jumped back into action.

High above the city, they took their place upon what should be there tower with how many times they had to rebuild the thing. Ladybug looked over to Chat who was rubbing away the bruises from this most recent attack.

While the akuma had been taken care of and the city saved once again, she couldn't help but let Plagg's words echo through her head.

There would always be bad guys. They never really leave.

The thought never stopped replaying. How there will always be something and while she knew that, she figured it would be small things, like high speed chases or bank robberies. The fact that those seemed small really showed how much these akuma attacks were wearing down on the two.

Yet, there were two thoughts fighting for dominance in her brain.

The first being, if things were always going to be so dangerous than it would never be safe to reveal themselves to the other.

In contrast, if they were always going to be fighting things of this level, she didn't think she could do it without her kitty and while she knew he would stand by her, no matter what, she couldn't deny how smoothly things had been going in their fights since they had started dating.

The bond that they shared didn't just stop at the end of a date. It carried on into battle, they're movements and actions blending into each other, as though they shared the same thoughts.

If they were to reveal their identities it might strengthen that bond even further.

She just couldn't ignore the danger that would put him in though. She was torn, and of course, that silly kitty could see it as he made his way to her.

He crouched down on his hunches, digging his nails in to the tin of the metal roof. "Are you okay? You seem off."

Stupid cat. Can't he recognize a superhero brood when he saw one. "I'm just thinking about the future a bit. This past year has been so amazing even with the Akuma attacks and I don't want it to end. I have more friends than ever, people who care about me, my grades are going up, and above all that I have you, kitty. I'm just afraid that it's all gonna come tumbling down if I don't do everything exactly right. Even if I don't always want to."

He inched closer, taking her hand in his. His fingers went under her chin to guide her eyes to his. Voice soft, and understanding. "You don't have to be perfect to enjoy your life. Things are going to go good and things are gonna go bad. It's not dependent on you being flawless, that's just how life is. No matter what things are gonna get out of hand, that's just a fact. It's what you do in response that shapes the world around you."

"But." Her tongue ran the length of her lip. "Shouldn't I be more-"

He looked down at the city below them, cutting off her self doubt. "In the two years that I've been Chat Noir, I've seen some amazing things. People actually getting up and helping others in the most drastic and in some cases, basic of circumstances. For all the bad things Hawkmoth has brought, there is a balance to it. People are more willing to help others, understand their emotions more now that there are consequences to them."

She was about to interrupt, tell him the horrible part of the fact that this all stemmed from their enemy in the first place, but he backpedaled. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying Hawkmoth is doing good deeds, but because of his actions, people have had to react around it. And not to give us too much of an ego boost, but we've had an effect on others as well."

She gave him a sly look at that, poking him in the chest and flicking his bell in play. "And who's ego would you be boosting again? Because I don't think it's mine with the way you strut at me after an Akuma is taken down."

He ignored the tease in favor of leaning forward into her personal space with a sly smirk, nose to nose as he took the bait she offered with ringing his bell. She knew that flickering the bell brought out his sneaky side even more so.

And he didn't mind playing her game, honestly.

With the little space already between them, she bridged the gap between, placing her hand around his head bringing him in for a deep, slow tender kiss that left him breathless, and flickered the on switch to his purring— she somehow always found a way to do that— and gluing her side to his for some cuddles. "Thank you, kitty, I'll have to keep that in mind from now on."

"You're okay, you're okay, gosh dang it, Chat, you're okay!"

No matter how much he tried to tell himself that, it didn't exactly work out.

The reason for said freak out was yet another akuma, only this time it had been some kid who didn't get the right career on their aptitude test and now he was transforming anyone he hit into the worst thing that person could imagine. Nino had been turned into an accountant, Chloe was a bakery worker— big shock there— and even Alya was turned into a politician that spoke only in lies.

That was the reason Chat was freaking out, because even though they trusted each other, it wouldn't be great for Ladybug to make the connection that his biggest fear was remaining a model for the rest of his life.

Because no matter what, there weren't that many blond hair and green-eyed models in Paris.

Yet, there was Ladybug kicking butt and taking names. The way she just flew into danger without a care in the world. He had to get out there. It's not that he was a coward, he just froze, he just froze this once. He wasn't expected to have his fears dragged out of him like this. Normally, the Akuma's were just something odd like an ice cream snowman, but this. This just wasn't fair.

There was a loud smack as he saw a red blur shoot past him. He dodged the Akuma's attack to see Ladybug passed out against a now broken park bench. His left eye began to twitch and in that moment, his true fear had been realized.

It was her being hurt.

In that second, all he could see, taste, and feel was red. Hot, burning red and his mind went white. His thoughts fumbled to think, but he refused to let them connect as he allowed for the anger to fully consume him and take full control.

No one touched his lady. No one.

And if they did, Plagg's cataclysm would look like a bright pretty flower compared to the destruction and chaos he would unleash to anyone that laid even a slight finger on his bugaboo.

He charged forward, his legs a blur beneath him as he sprung up and landed on the Akuma's large back, planting his fist against the top of its head. With his claws out, he dug deep into the thick layers of paper that surrounded the monster, making sure to keep his grip as he guided the creature away from the sleeping Ladybug.

He left no room for mercy either. He made sure he put everything into this fight. He wasn't trying to punish this akuma, no, far be it from him to actually hurt something that wasn't at fault.

He was sending a message to Hawkmoth. If he ever hurt Ladybug again, he would understand and fear Chat's wrath. Hawkmoth would know after today to be careful with what he chose to do with his victims after that day

After taking the rampaging creature around the block a few times, Ladybug finally woke up, dazed and confused, but still alive, and he could actually breathe for the first time in over ten minutes. Once her surroundings returned to her, she helped Chat put an end to the Akuma's destruction.

Chat leaned back on the hot roof, letting the sun soak deep into his costume. Relaxing right next to him, was his lady, and since the start of summer, they actually got a chance to rest after the Akuma battles.

The day had been nice with very few clouds out to darken the skies and now that the Akuma had been dealt with, Chat finally got a chance to let his anxiety cool down. Yet, he would have a little spike back up when she gave him the look. The look that meant she knew something was off and if they wanted to go on with there day, he should spill the beans as soon as possible.

"Chat, what was that today?" She must have realized how blunt that sounded and backpedaled immediately. "I'm not mad or anything, it just caught me off guard that you froze like that. I've been with you for over a year and we've been fighting together for two, but never once have I seen you freeze like that."

He took a deep breath as he tried to think of the right words that wouldn't give away his identity. It was all hard to keep a part sometimes. "I know I've told you about my father's company and while you don't know exactly what he does, you do know he wants me to be a part of it. Ever since you opened my eyes to all the options I have, it's becoming more and more evident how much I don't want the future he intends for me. If I were to get hit by that akuma, it would be very easy for you to link who I am under the mask and that would put you in danger."

She scooted closer to him, dropping herself carelessly into his lap. "Silly, kitty. The thought has occurred to me that we might not get that fairy tail reveal that we both want. While I still want us to defeat Hawkmoth first, I don't want you to be afraid to do what you have to in the heat of the moment. Part of why I love you is your instincts to just jump in and do what you have to. Not that you can't wait or strategize, but when you stall because of fear, that's something else. If it does happen before we want it to, then we'll just have to figure it out as it happens but I love you far too much to hold that over your head in every fight."

Needing to calm himself from his irrational thoughts, he began to pur, drawing the sweet little giggles from her that only spurred on the vibrations in his chest, as she always did to him. She made his worst days better at the drop of a pin. That was more magic than her yo-yo could ever hold.

Her heart held more magic than any miraculous could.

And she chose him to hold that beautiful heart. He would forever be in awe of that. "I don't think I could ever get tired of hearing how much you love me."

The bell of her laughter was all that he wanted to hear in his lifetime. She placed a kiss on his lips as the swelling in his chest transformed causing the pur to echo even further out into the city.

She was still kissing him— even though it was a hard task, because of all the smiling and laughter that her lips were producing; and his too— when she decided to ask him a follow up question. "If you know what you don't want to do, Do you have any idea of what you actually want to do?"

He took a second. Really thinking that one over. "I'm not sure if I want to be a teacher like you suggested, while I do like working with others and instructing I think I might have too much pent up energy to sit that still throughout the day. I'm not entirely sure but I do want to put my mind to use as well as my body. I don't know what do you think about half Engineer, half fencer? I could practice my skills with a saber one day, and build a space rover the next."

Deciding that he wasn't as comfortable as he could be, he lowered himself until he was lying flat on his back, pulling her along with him, and bringing her warmth near to snuggle her with all that he could. Peace was in his arms and he'd keep it there all that could.

A chirp met his ears— his cat ears responding a short little twitching in kind— as he nuzzled the side of her face, alternating between brushing his nose along the length of her face, and just pressing his nose into the apple of her cheekbone.

She let another little chirp escape when she shifted herself to be halfway on top of him. She rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes as the sound of his purring enveloped her, he knew it was almost like a calming mechanism for her at this point. He was more than happy to give her that.

He could feel the hotness of her breath on his skin start to slow and even out, and he was okay with that, she'd wake her in a while to go home anyways. But before she submerged herself into sleep, she mumbled out, "Kitty, so long as I have you by my side, together we can do anything."

[angelkurenai]

Hurting for love - Jack Kline x Reader

Title: Hurting for love

Pairing: Jack Kline x Reader

Warnings: Season 13 spoilers

Word Count: 2,014

Summary: Imagine Jack having doubts to leave with Lucifer, when he asks him to, because he doesn’t want to leave due to the feelings he has for you.

“But if the rift is closed, then how are you here?” the nephilim frowned, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, no. Not how. Why.” Lucifer corrected “I'm here for you, Jack. Because, you know, even though the Three Amigos – Sam, Dean and the other one – oh and of course the sweetheart of the group, (Y/n)-” at the mention of your name Jack's head perked up and he looked on edge “Won't admit it, you need me. You do, 'cause we're blood. And we're not human, no matter how much we pretend to be. We're not like them, and they could probably try to understand us but they never will. Not really.”

“(Y/n) has always... understood me.” the half-angel ended up whispering, a small smile finding its way on his lips despite how bad he felt after everything that had happened. You could always somehow do this for him, it didn't necessarily have to be your presence much like now it was the mere thought of your beautiful smile or warm hug, that made Jack find the sense of belonging, love and peace he always craved for.

“No, no she tried to understand you, boy. Tried. But didn't fully understand you. Because she simply can't!” Lucifer shrugged, his words making Jack's eyes cast down “She's human, it's not her fault really. But as much as can act like she understands what you're going through, she-”

“She didn't 'act'.” Jack's head snapped in Lucifer's direction, brows furrowed and ready to defend you “I- I don't know how much she could understand, but she stood by my side because she wanted to. She has always been sweet and nice to me, without caring about other's thoughts. She comforted me and listened to me and protected me when she could b-because she cares about me, because she lo-” but he stopped himself before he could say it, lips pursing in a thin line as his eyes casted down again.

“Alright.” Lucifer eyed him “I see.” he muttered “Well, your first love is always gonna be complicated, kid. But it's best if you don't give 'em all your heart cause it will end in a heartbreak, especially with them human girls. Oh I certainly remember how your mom was, but either way- We'll have a talk about the whole v-card issue when the time comes, so for now it's best if you know that the stork brings the baby, ok?”

“I don't...” Jack blinked, looking at his father perplexed “I suppose.” he ended up saying with a soft sigh.

“Look it still is just like I said: She's human. And yeah out of the four of them I'll give her that she's the smartest and definitely most pretty one but she still doesn't know how it feels like, Jack. Not the way I do. See-” he took a deep breath “Humans are limited and fragile. And I'll admit, they bring out the worst in me, I gotta say.” he chuckled but it was cutshort when Jack frowned deeply, giving him a look “(Y/n)'s- She's an exception, ok? However, it seems like, you know, no matter how much you try to do right around them... something always goes wrong. Follow?”

“I... I know.” Jack mumbled in a sad voice tone.

“Right? And that's not their fault or ours. It's just, us and humans, we're like oil and water. You know, sardines and strawberries. It's just a bad combination.”

“What do we do?” Jack finally asked in a low voice.

“Leave.” Lucifer said ever-so-simply “I mean theres a whole universe out there, buddy. Planets. Stars. Galaxies. Why should we stay here on Earth when we can go anywhere else? Heck, everywhere else.”

“Like uhm like 'Star Wars'?” Jack's lips pulled into a smile and Lucifer smiled himself, nodding his head.

“Exactly like 'Star Wars'.”

“But... Sam, Dean, Castiel... (Y/n), they'll miss me.” his smile fluttered when realization downed on him that not only would he have to leave the men he considered family, the ones who at the end of the day were there for him, but you above all “I won't be able to see her again, will I?”

“Well, we are going to be very far away. And probably by the time we return... she could not be here at all.” he tried to say as innocently as possible but it still made the frown on Jack's face deepened.

“Not... here?” he whispered, the pang he felt in his chest all-too-strong to ignore. You had been there for as long as he was alive, he couldn't imagine a place without you.

“You keep hurting people!” Jack remembers himself repeating over and over again as he beat himself up, literally and metaphorically, after what has almost happened.

“Why do you keep hurting people?” he asked himself as the tears welled up in his eyes. He stopped on his tracks, sobs leaving his lips and he brought a shaky hand up on his eyes, as the moments and faces of all the people he'd hurt, from the moment he was born up until that day , flashed through them with the most painful of which being-

“Jack?” your soft and delicate voice caught his attention and his eyes snapped open, before he turned around to face you and realize you weren't just a fragment of his imagination – of his broken self seeking out your presence, comfort and (in all honesty) love and support – but were actually standing a couple feet away from him.

“Oh Jackie.” you placed a hand over your mouth to hold a sob back, although in vain, as tears welled up in your own eyes “My goodness. Please, gosh, please don't do this to yourself. D-don't.” you choked out and the sight of your tears made his roll down as well.

“(Y/n)?” he asked softly, as if to make sure you were there “What are you doing here?”

“I- I came looking for you. Sam and Dean told me I shouldn't but I... I couldn't just let you go and I came looking for you. What-” you tried to swallow the lump in your throat but didn't even try to fight back your tears at this point “What are you doing here all alone, Jack?”

“I...” a sob left his lips as he looked around him “Trying to protect you from me?” came out a weak and broken answer that was so true.

“But Jack there is no reason for you to do this. You don't have to keep yourself away from us because we're not in dang-” you took a step forward towards him but his watery eyes widened and he took a step backwards, raising his hands to stop you.

“Don't... please, ju-just don't.” he sniffled “Stay away from me, I might-” he started but stopped himself when he felt to scared to even say the words.

“Jack, no you won't hurt me. I know you won't.”

“But I... I have hurt you before. I've brought pain and sadness in your life and nothing but grief.” another tear rolled down his cheek and a choked sob left your lips.

“Don't say that, please. You-” you sniffled, taking another step forward as he backed away; making you sigh in frustration “Jack stop this! Just stop! This is insane, just listen to me here! I'm begging you, I'm-” you reached as fast as you could to take hold of his hands and this time he, luckily, didn't fight you on it.

Maybe because your words made him freeze in his place “I need you.” you whispered weakly “I need you here but I also need you to be alright. I need you to be happy, I want to see you happy, Jack, because you- you have given me so much happiness all this time.”

“Me?” his eyebrows raised softly in disbelief and his glossy eyes widened ever-so-innocently.

“Yes, Jack, you.” you took another step closer to him and all he did was look at you with awe-filled eyes “You have been able to make me more happy than you even realize. Believe me, eve since I met you I have only been able to experience beautiful feelings, truthfully the most beautiful of all. Bad things happened, yes, but bad things have always been happening in my life. Everything has always been so screwed up that at times I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had stopped believing there was even one to begin with, but when I really got to know you... I did see it, Jack, thanks to you. So if you ask me-” you shrugged with a small smile, despite the tear that escaped your eyes, giving his hand a squeeze “It has been a blessing to know you.”

“Despite everything I've done?”

“Jack, the people you've hurt- none of it happened intentionally. You never wanted to hurt anybody. Tell me, would you not take it back if you could?”

“Yes, yes immediately.” he breathed out and gave him a gentle smile, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek.

“And that just shows how good you really are, Jack. Regret, remorse and sympathy are mere a few of all the good traits you have and of the traits good people have, or at least people who want to be good. You've made mistakes, yes-” you said softly “But we all do, Jack, and at the end of the day it only matters how good you do in this world and how good you mean to do, and you Jack are doing amazing.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“Yes, yes I do.” you said as he let his forehead rest against yours “And for that I don't want you beating yourself up. I don't want you isolating yourself, Jack, especially from me. I thought that... you trusted me with everything, that we were close and that I... I was important to you so that you'd-”

“You are.” he hurried to say, cutting you off before you could question it any further “You are very important to me.” he slowly brought a hand up to cup your cheek and you gave him a shy smile “More than I can find the words to describe.”

“Then don't shut me out, don't deal with this on your own. Don't take the weight of this on your own shoulders when I'm here for you.”

“I won't.” he sniffled “I won't, not again; I promise. Just... this time, I need to be alone for a minute.”

“But then... you'll come back home, right?” it was obvious how the first time he had gone MIA after killing that man had had an impact on both of you, and somehow you feared he'd leave before telling you again and you wouldn't have your chance.

“Always.” he said without a second thought “If you'll wait for me?”

“Always”

“So yes, they'll miss you. It'll be hard.” Lucifer shrugged “But you have to live your life for you. And you gotta give them... her the chance to live her life without the fear that your powers could get out of control and hurt her. You will actually let her find true happiness and let her live her life for her, and not worrying all the time about you. She might not see it but that's how some humans are, they- they care too much and they can confuse sadness with happiness.”

“You think... (Y/n) does too?” Jack blinked, a small pout setting on his lips.

“Oh I'm sure.” Lucifer eyed him for a moment “This is our second chance, kiddo. This is our opportunity to escape our past and our sins and start over. Without dragging others. What do you say? Father and son. You up for an adventure, buddy?”

“I...”he hesitated for a moment, the thought of your heartbroken face making his own heart ache but he hoped that one day everything would be better and you could find true happiness in safety away from him “I'd like that.” he finally breathed out.

[badaipuan]

Here’s to the mess I made

It was at the very beginning of 2019 when I, for the first time, traveled miles away from home to lead a new chapter of my life. Yes, one resolution away this time. I got a good offer of a job though to be honest I was (and still) clueless about the position. A month passed by with fevers, fears, but yet excitement went along the way too. A contradiction. I guess we’re all just living in a contradictory world, aren't we?.

Before I left, my father insisted to take me to the bus station. I used to say no to everything he insisted because I don’t want to bother him. He got a lot in mind already, and also a lot of energy drained due to his working hours. But he’s a father somehow, he must have wanted to reassure if his daughter stepped inside the bus safely. Before I went in, I gave him a short embrace he didn’t expect. 1..2..3..three seconds and I let go. It’s my first travel to a new big big world, I didn’t want him to shed a tear. Absolutely will not. For our family, it’s crying hard or not to cry at all. Since a farewell of a daughter and a father is not a pleasant thing, the possible answer is to cry hard. And I wouldn’t cross that answer. I couldn’t imagine going away seeing my father weep right before my eyes. Anyway, I’ve never given him a hug before this. So, you tell how this moment happened to the two of us.

I stepped inside and realized I was the last passenger to went on the bus. I scanned the seats to find most of the passengers were men. My seat was next to a man around 40 who claimed to live in Grogol once. And yes I surely thought if the trip was going to be awkward.

There, while the wheels took me somewhere I never knew, I thought merely of how I would do this job. Sales thing, as long as I could remember, is not and never been my thing. But I know I’m going to give it a shot. For the sake of my family, and my family.

Gosh, Mar, Mir.. this is going to be the story I’d tell you on an afternoon meal one day.

Month 1 was summary of fever and figuring out which face to show, which thing should I do. I remember meeting mas Herlan for the first time. He’s sitting on the couch at the lobby. I shook his hand and he asked me if I was in the same university as him. I said no, it wasn’t me. My first impression of him? That he’s a warm and loving person. It showed clearly from his eyes and tone in his voice. At his left, stood Ezra and 2 or 3 others. Hey, guys, remember me? Yeah, I was the one who greeted you all, offered a handshake like I was coming from another time zone, before the century.

Month 2 was where I created a new circle of similar people as I am. In the other side, I questioned my traits over and over again. Evaluating why did there have to be 2 circles; the popular and the-rather-quiet-and-preserved. Why can’t I join both parties?

Month 3 and the fear of being judged was on its peak. I realized the reason it is hard for me to break the glass between myself and the popular is that because I fear them seeing the bad and ugly parts in me while we’re having an unfortunate conversation and decide to underestimate me for the rest of their time. So I chose to shut myself from them. Well, I can’t tell if it’s the right thing to do. People constantly tell me that I need to improvise in order to survive in this company. I need to imitate others in order to be liked by them, to gain their respect, to build an image in front of them. A skill I haven’t got just yet. A thing I need to force myself to learn. It might take quite some time but I believe I could eventually succeed. Well, still me, but better.

Month 3 is where the storm happened for several weeks making everything’s more chaotic and miserable than ever. March is where my dearest Peculiars cast away, gone as if nothing’s ever happened, which relentlessly break my heart. There’s hurricane inside and outside of me. Three months with these new people, I've figured out that the world is not as good as I thought it is. There are violence, judgment, anger, and madness out here and everywhere. Once you’re on the doormat, you’ll see no such authentic beauty in front of you. The world is filled up with made up mind, made up feelings and millions of false courtesies. People out here live for themselves and only for themselves. Not many live to fulfill the needs of others. For those who still believe in kindness, hopes may exist, I suppose. To meet these people, we need to look closely.

Here I am, entering the door with heart on my sleeve, considering if I should give it away or fight for it. The answer is to conservatively give it away.

...

Wait.. well, dang. How is it possible when it means violating my values? Cray. Dang, I don’t know about this yet but I promise to figure this out soon. I could already picture myself failing at this and turn myself to a fake social-moron. To make it out well alive, I constantly tell myself to fix my burst-out behavior. I mean, me myself have never seen this behavior before. So if you’re surprised, same here. My bad. My inner child would usually only jump out when I sense a like-minded person. Ok, like, person. Not a group of people, trust me, I never dared to show my true self publicly. But I guess I was off guard in the wrong timing because of the breakup I recently had. It feels like all the burden were off my shoulder. Dik, have a self-control, you idiot.

And from this unfortunate behavior, I got bunches of complaints. I understand though. Even I regret myself for being a social-cripple. Now worry not, I took the kid into the cage already and D-K is back to business y'all. To all the questions that buzzing inside my head, I decided to tell my ENFP buddy. The tell-everything-zone without worrying to be judged. Though I already knew the answer to my problems, I just need to be heard. So I talk about this to mas Herlan. At lobby hotel, after sunset. I can’t help to hold back. All the confusion going in my head, and while listening to mas Herlan’s calm voice, it had forced myself to sob. Pathetic porcelain kid

All these years, I have convinced myself that it’s ok to be you. It’s ok if I’m loud and quiet at the same time, it’s ok to literally add plain sundae to my fries, it’s ok to only give a dang to people I care about because giving false attention on purpose is draining my soul, it’s ok if I’m flawed, I have my own strengths too.. things that make me me that the others won’t be able to imitate. I’m totally fine if someone be just who they are in front of me. If they’re being mean to me, I’ll find out the reason why and will eventually understand their motives. And when someone’s being kind to me, I’ll give back even more. I appreciate any form of kindness. I truly believe there is good within everyone and that nobody ever means to do such mean things. This is how I always find my way to forgive people and forget the past. I find it much easier to heal. Perhaps that's also why I keep coming back to people who previously hurt me. Hey, it’s okay... People make mistake and we can always fix things up, right?

(right!)

But again,

Not everyone has the same in mind as I do. Some are forgiving, yet not forgetting what people have done to them. I’m cool with it, too. The rest seems neither forgive nor forget, and that’s alright. Their life, their rules.

The tips is to exceptionally do everyone good. Say good things, say sorry, thanks, whatever it is to make others feel appreciated. Behind our back, we’re all struggling with our problems. And I’m still working on my self, too. To be more aware of my surroundings. All the individualistic inside me needs to be lifted away before its roots shatter everything else.

I’m delighted for who I am right now and yet longing to the better version of myself in the near future. Only then my hand would able to reach those who are steps ahead of me. Those who inspire me and give my life a new purpose. I can’t wait to join those people. And only then I could stretch my arm to pull up people below me, for they remind me of my old self. I can’t wait to see people in their very best version of themselves.

I can’t wait to see the best of me which without all this mess, I would have never be one. And only then, I hope I can give you another embrace and hold your hand longer. And every insecurity will fade away from us.

Anyway, some lines from my queen;

how is it so easy for you to be kind to people 

he asked 

milk and honey dripped from my lips as i answered 

cause people have not been kind to me

- Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

[xxxtrouvaillexxx]

This Christmas

A/N: This is written for @littledarlinhavefaithinme Merry Kismet Writing Challenge! I’m terribly excited to write this one and thought it is just a little bit late it is set on Christmas (a freaking month, I know, I suck) because that is what one of the prompts I chose was. So even though the holiday season is over, here is one more reminder that the new year should be greeted with wide open arms and a large smile because this is only the beginning But not really cause this is sad. And I’m on a Bucky kick so there is this fic and, like, 9 more on their way starring our favourite Winter Soldier.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: Bucky was spending his very first Christmas completely free of Hydra. No horrid nightmares, or memory gaps, he doesn’t even have the same sick arm they put on him thanks to Shuri. No more Hydra. And while he is so damn happy to be free, all he wants for Christmas is to see her smile one last time and he couldn’t stop himself from visiting her.

Author: Isa

Word Count: 4,648

Warning(s): Angst, fluff, cursing, 40′s Bucky, So many Feels, character death, flashback to 40s, ahh I hate myself. May or may not do one of these from the readers perspective too, just to add to my pain. Tell me if I should!

Prompt(s):

"Be more careful next time. I don't want to bandage you up again."

"I don't deserve you.”

"There's no way I'm letting you spend Christmas alone."

He can’t get his mind off of it. Off of her. It was Christmas and he can’t stop thinking about how this was he favourite time of year. How she used to run in the streets with a grin on her lips while she looked up to the sky with her arms held wide open just to bask in the falling snow. How she would giggle endlessly whenever he would take her ice skating even though he was horrible at it and would fall over and over just because he knew she loved it. He couldn’t help remember all the times he walked into their apartment to see her bundled in a blanket with a hot cup of tea by the window just to look at the sparkling streets. Or how the light flakes of snow would stick to her lashes and make her look like something straight out of a fairytale. He can’t stop thinking!

“-uck,” Steve called, though his voice was hardly heard over the blaring thoughts that ran through Bucky’s mind, that wouldn’t slow or silence for anyone. So he went ignored as Bucky continued to stare aimlessly out of the tower window as soft white flakes fell from the sky.

“Bucky!” He yelled once more and finally caught the attention of his friend as he whipped his head around to meet the kind gaze of Steve Rogers.

“Steve,” he murmured, his voice soft and full with emotion, his mind clearing of the reminiscent feelings and longing so he could again live in the present for another moment. “Hey man, what’s up?”

Steve scoffed playfully and grinned but caught on the emotions that Bucky was trying to lock down and hide away from him, “What’s up? I’ve tried calling you like, nine times now, and that’s all I get out of you? What’s up?”

“Sorry man, I was lost in thought. You’ve my full attention now though, so what did you want to talk about?” Bucky stood up and faced Steve directly, letting a small smile found its way to his face.

“I was just gonna tell you we are heading out now.” He said and looked at him sceptically, “Are you sure you don’t wanna go, Buck? I mean, Tony said it was gonna be a small party. Just us and a few people from Shield, nothing extravagant.”

“No,” he answered quickly. “I’m not a fan of parties anymore, especially not any that Stark has put together. I think I’ll just chill here. Besides, it’s still early in the afternoon, if I happen to change my mind I’ll have plenty of time to show up and still have a good time.”

“All right, but stop by if you get at all lonely, man,” Steve said and patted him on the back before turning to take his leave.

Bucky watched as he walked away and waited till he had closed the door once again to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and looking up to the ceiling. He felt like he’d never be able to get his emotions back in check with his rapidly beating heart and clammy palms. And, logically, he knew that this was going to pass, he knew that all of these hopeless feelings and the yearning for who he could only dream of seeing again would be over with soon. He just had to get through the next couple of days. But he knew that that was only wishful thinking too, he was never going to be able to let her go. He knew that and the realization of it crushed him as he slowly sank into the chair again.

“James!” She yelled shock was evidently written across her face and fear flashing over her face for a sheer moment before taking my arm and pulling me inside. “What the heck happened?”

I would have grinned had the pain from my left cheek not shot through my face. “Nothing to worry about doll, Stevey just got himself into trouble again,” I sighed and followed closely behind her. “I just can’t go and to dinner with Ma like this, so I thought I’d see my favourite girl instead. Don’t worry sweetheart, Ma knows where I am and Steve is home too-”

She pushed me onto the couch and glared at me, “Well, obviously he’s already home. I know for a fact you wouldn’t have come here before you dropped him off.  You gosh dang-” she abruptly cut herself off with a shake of her head, “Don’t move.” She commanded before leaving to grab her first aid kit from the bathroom down the hall.

I grinned as I heard her huff and puff about me and Steve being foolish and reckless, how we needed to stop getting into trouble all the time. And the instant she came back into the room I knew if I didn’t wipe the stupid smirk from my face right then and there that she may just kill me if nothing else bang me up a little more than I already was.

“So what was it this time? Steve found some idiots on the street again and challenged them to prove his masculinity or to save some damsel in distress?” She asked and I could hear the slight humour in her voice. “Or maybe it was you this time who decided to stir up some trouble where there didn’t need to be any.”

I couldn’t stop the scoff that left my lips at her words. “I’m offended you would even think anything so preposterous, doll,” I spoke with mock horror and placed a hand over my heart, painting my face with false hurt. But it didn’t stay for long when she turned and walked to me looking completely through my act. “Okay!” I said exasperated and threw my hands up in surrender. “Steve must’ve seen something he didn’t like again and stood up to a group of thugs when I wasn’t around, of course. I found ‘em in the alley and I couldn’t just leave Stevey there sweetheart, you know that.”

She sighed and looked at me with such love and adoration that I felt like my heart would beat out of my chest if she kept it up for even a second longer. “I know James. I know, but please be careful alright? I don’t like it when you find yourselves trouble and have to come here for a patch up. You shouldn’t need patch jobs, James. You tell Steve that too, I don’t enjoy the sight of the two of you on my front step bruised and broken,” she spoke softly and placed a warm cloth against my face, beginning to treat the wounds I received.

“Of course, darling. I’ll relay your message directly to the man himself, but I’m not so sure it’ll get through. You know how he can be.”

She snickered and grabbed the rubbing alcohol and cotton, “Yeah, I know. He can be as stubborn as a mule sometimes, and while that side of him worries and annoys me, I love him for it too. He’s a good man, I just hope that he’ll figure that out for himself one day without thinking he’s got to prove something to the rest of the world.”

I winced at the stinging sensation that stung the nerves of the open cuts on my face. This was always the worst part of cleaning a wound but I was still able to joke around through the pain, “You make it sound like I’ve got competition doll. Am I gonna have to fight with Steve to keep you?”

She hummed and shrugged. “Maybe, just to be sure, I like to keep my options open. But if Steve wins you gotta play fair.” And as she said that, I really couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. Oh, I hope she is joking.

“Be more careful next time. I don't want to bandage you up again." Her voice broke and she momentarily closed her eyes to keep tears from shedding and I could feel my heart begin to crack.

Grabbing her hand and placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles, I nodded my head. “I know, I promise I will.”

It felt like his mind was going to completely go numb by the fast pace of each memory flying by and the quickness of the thoughts entering and leaving his head. He remembered it all and it was as if he was remembering them for the very first time again. The initial shock he felt when he first saw the girl in his head. Her smile that was so impossibly kind and cheerful and eyes so bright and alive with wonder that he never thought it possible to be filled with so much joy until that moment.

The fear that came later, that absolutely flooded his system, when he realized that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember her name. Even though she constantly flooded his thoughts, her laugh, soft hands, over the shoulder glances, sighs, words, everything that she was bombarded his memories but he couldn’t for the life of him think about what her name was. He remembered her face, their first dance. He remembered when they first met in the city park and how she immediately was so kind and gentle. God, she was so gentle, her voice, her skin, her words, her.

But even still, even weeks after he was regaining his memories and countless nights spent lying awake to simply stare at the ceiling while his mind went rapid, on a mission for just one more thing. It took him over, and he was sinking into a hole the longer he sat trying to think.

It wasn’t until some months after his first memory came did he even bother to go and ask Steve about her. About who she was to him and what she meant to Bucky when he was still what he considered to be the real Bucky Barnes, not some broken shell of a man on his way to recovery. Steve was hesitant at first, his friend had been doing so well with his recovery and he didn’t want to set him back with the news and horror of this topic. It took Bucky nearly another month to convince him to tell him about her and by that time he had even more fragments of her back but still no recollection of her name or who she was to him.

When Steve finally cracked and told him her name it was like a dam broke inside of him. He didn’t know why necessarily, he didn’t know why he cried so harshly that his throat grew sore, or why he felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest and torn to shreds right before his eyes. He didn’t understand it at all but he needed to know now more than ever. He needed to know about her.

And what he learned from Steve, it amazed him. Amazed and hurt him in ways he didn’t even know was still possible for him. The kind of hurt that made your head spin and mouth go dry. That had your veins running frozen shrapnels of blood coursing through your body and then curdle a second later. And had your heart at a complete standstill, stalled to the point where his lungs refused to be filled with air before it starts beating so exponentially fast that even though he was breathing quickly it felt even still that the shallow gulps of air would never be enough. 

And the kind of amazement that filled made his mind rush with the unknown and thrill over it. The kind that makes your heart flutter and the world seem to light up with colour around you. It was that warm feeling that ran through your entire person all while sending chills down your spine with shock and wonder. It was the mystery of what was to come and sudden excitement that accompanied the undiscovered.

And he was determined to know everything about her from that point on. Of course, that had been over a year ago now. He had fought and killed, regained his sense of being if only just a little, remembered himself and his past, piece by piece, went under again in Wakanda and finally, finally, returned home with Steve whole. As himself for the first time 70 years. He had his past, he could look back on himself as the winter soldier without falling apart, and he actually could look forward with hope and not dread. He was whole, but he was still missing a part of himself he’d never be able to get back. He had lost his better half, his soulmate, the love of his life. And he was never going to be able to get her back.

And that fact alone could kill him, and it would be a death far worse than any death that this world would be able to provide.

He turned his gaze from the window and stood up from his seat to grab his jacket and leave his room. He couldn’t stay cooped up in his room anymore, he couldn’t stay locked away and let his memories haunt him alone. He had to get out of the tower, had to clear his thoughts. Or at least go for a walk outside to enjoy the weather he’d usually hate otherwise while he thought.

There wasn’t anything that was stopping me from walking over and talking with her. Nothing at all other than the fact that she was so mad at me that she couldn’t so much as look me in the eye or spare a glance in my direction. Nothing, not a word for the last week, not a mumble of disdain under her breath, not a single thing. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get her to forgive me. Hell, I wasn’t even completely sure about what I’d done wrong

I made a move closer to her and it was almost a reflex as she took a subtle step away, and it would have gone unbeknownst to anybody else but I saw her body tense and her back straighten. She was on guard. Preparing for battle. From me. And the realization of that fact was like a gunshot to the heart.

I sat back in my seat and sighed, glueing my gaze to the ceiling so I could clear my head. I had to make her at least hear me out because if I were being completely honest I knew what was wrong. I knew what I had done and there wasn’t anything that would make her feel better or the problem go away. But he needed her to hear him out, to know that he was going to make everything okay and that no matter what he’ll be here for her always.

But he has to get her to listen to him first and with her so on guard against him, he simply doesn’t see how he is supposed to do that. There wasn’t any way of him getting close enough to her for them to actually have a civil conversation together, not when she was already looking like she was ready to sprint out of the room when she felt his gaze on her back. She was subtle about all of her movements, every flinch or tense of her shoulders, they were hardly noticeable. He doubted he would have even been able to tell at all had he not known her as well as he did. But every minor move of her hand or shift of her eyes he caught onto them all in an instant.

Before he even had a chance to tap on my arm to get my attention, I knew Steve had wandered up behind me. “Hey, man.” I murmured and glanced over my shoulder at him and offered a small smile in greeting. I could tell that he wasn’t convinced, however, when he glanced over her way with a worried expression and then back at me again.

And while I saw it coming, I still couldn’t help the sigh that fell from my lips. “Dude, you have to talk to her. You guys can’t keep this going forever, you both look miserable.”

“You think I don’t know that? She won’t let me near her, Steve. How am I supposed to get her to talk to me when she is treating me like I’m the plague?” I asked, absolutely exasperated, hoping if not praying that he could figure out some sort of solution that had flown over my head. There isn’t a single thing that I could think of at this moment that would make her want to be by my side again.

“I can try to talk to her for you,” he suggested and I spun around to look at him so fast that I swore I gave myself whiplash, but my face was bright and hopeful nevertheless. “She might listen to me right now, and I can try and convince her to at least sit with you for a few minutes while you explain yourself.”

“Steve, if you could even get her to look at me for a split second, I would owe you the world.”

“Oh shut up, jerk. I’m doing this as much for her as I am you and you know it. You just have to make things right with her, got it?”

I nodded eagerly and all but shoved him away and toward her. “Go get ‘em, punk.”

I watched closely as he made his way over to her and caught her attention. I noticed how she smiled and hugged him and I couldn’t help the ping of gut-wrenching guilt that flooded through me knowing that she hadn’t just been avoiding me, but also Steve. I had split up their friendship because she knew that Steve could convince her of anything and she wasn’t going to hear it from either of us. Their friendship was something that would last a lifetime and persevere through the ages, and I could only hope that ours would too. But knowing that she was letting him talk to her now was also a glimmer of hope. Maybe she was finally willing to listen to them, just a little.

When she glanced back at me, I felt my breath leave me in one rush. Even though the anger that still burned behind her eyes, I could still see the love she held in them too. I saw my girl look at me and love me, and I couldn’t stop the small smile that crept to my lips cause I knew that there was still hope for me.

It only lasted a moment before she returned her gaze to Steve and ran a hand down her face. The talked for several minutes, it felt like a lifetime to me though. Watching in wonder as they conversed but not knowing what they were saying, it was killing me. I was almost sure that she was going to walk away from us again by how long that they were taking, by how many times she threw her head back and laughed sarcastically and then looked back with slitted eyes and the many times she would look away from him with a distant look. I was preparing for the absolute worst when she looked down and nodded slowly. Steve smiled, patted her arm comfortingly, and pointed in my direction, saying one last thing before walking away.

My world came to a stop it seemed, everything around me slowed down as our eyes met and she made the first step. I wanted to cry, relief rushed over me and my heart soared. She was coming my way, for the first time in a week and she was looking at me. Really looking at me, not through, not about or around. Me, and her eyes held so much pain and love.

“Doll-” I started but she cut me off with a raise of her hand.

“Don’t. Not here, James. I can’t-” her voice broke and my heart cracked at the sound. “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, but not here.

I nodded and held out my hand with apprehension. “I understand. Will you walk with me, then? While I explain?” I held my breath as I waited, and after a moment she placed her hand in mine and the world seemed to stir back to life again. “Thank you, doll.”

“Five minutes, Barnes. That’s all I’m giving you. Best start talking,” she said and began to lead the way out of the building and down the street. And I followed her closely, right behind her like a lost puppy.

“Okay. I know you hate me right now, and you have every right to. I should have told you sooner, should have told you that I was drafted, I should have told you when it first happened. But, doll, this is a good thing. I’m going to be able to protect you, and Stevie, and my Ma, my sisters. I’m going to be out there making sure that you are all safe, that is the best damn thing I can ask for, knowing that the people I love are safe. And I know that you don’t want me to go-”

“No, it goes beyond me not wanting you to go, James. It goes so much farther than that. Do you know how it felt when you told me that you were drafted? The knowledge that you are going to be out there, fighting in a war, do you know what that did to me?”

“Doll, I-”

“No! Don’t “Doll” me right now James! I felt like a part of my soul was being ripped from my being, like my heart was ripped from my chest and trampled on by a stampede of horses and then put into a wood chipper just to be sure that it would never be able to work the same again. So that my heart will always carry that damage no matter how many times I try and repair it or how many years will go by, it will never be the same.” She declared, her voice shaking and quite. “The fear that I felt knowing that you may get hurt when you’re out there, or that you may never come back to me at all. James, I could never hate you, no matter what you do. I can’t do that because I love you so freaking much that it hurts me. It physically hurts me when I see you with so much as a scratch on your face because I know- I know!- that I could have done something, anything, that could have prevented it. But I didn’t because I wasn’t there when I should have been.”

“But now? Now there isn't any way for me to be there for you. You aren’t going to be able to show up on my doorstep for a quick patch up after another one of your stupid fights. You aren’t going to be coming to my house late at night when you just need to talk or had a rough day. You won’t come by for cookies before you gotta head home. You aren’t going to come and see me just for the heck of it at all because you’re going to be out there fighting for your life every day! Every day, James! And you promised me! You promised me that you wouldn’t go, that you would stay here to take care of Steve, your family. You were gonna stay because you know that they need you, you know that! And I need you too,” she stopped and took a deep breath.

“You promised me.”

“I know,” I whispered and gripped her hand tighter. “I know I did, but we both knew that this was going to happen one way or another. There is no avoiding this, darling. And it was only a matter of time before I got the letter. But baby, I know that no matter what happens out there that I will always come back to you. You’re my everything doll, and I know that I don’t deserve you, and this last week has been killing me without you, but damn it all if I’m not a selfish asshole who refuses to give you up for anything. I’m not going to leave you for anything, not a thing. You have to know that and trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you can’t promise me that, James. You can’t know-”

“Yes, I do. Because if I know that my best girl is waiting for me then there isn’t a man out there that can stop me from getting back to her.”

She stopped walking, and if I hadn’t been holding onto her hand I’m fairly certain she would have slipped through my fingers. Her shoulders were shaking slightly and her gaze was glued to the concrete beneath our feet, her mind seemed to be running a million miles a minute while she tried to grasp onto something to say, but no words fell from her mouth.

“I still have another two weeks before I am deployed. They’re giving me time to collect myself and things and to say goodbye to everyone before they send me out. But before I do go, there is one last thing that I want to ask you doll. Just one more thing.” I could hear the slight tremble in my own voice as I spoke and it obviously didn’t go unnoticed by her either by the way her head shot up and her glossy eyes met mine with concern.

“Anything.”

“Wait for me, wait for me to come back to you.”

“Of course, James. You don’t have to ask me that-”

“No, that isn’t what I was asking, doll.” I chuckled at her puzzled face and took my hand away from hers, raising it to hold her face. She leaned into my touch and it made my heart rate pick up more than it already was if that was at all possible. I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and got down on my knee.

I looked up and smiled a little sheepishly as she threw her hands over her mouth and a tear slipped down her cheek.

The creaking of the gate caught my attention momentarily as I was met face to face with paths lined with stone headers. Aisles and aisles, open as only one or two people walked on the snow gingerly. He hadn’t come back to this place since the first time he learned she was here, it had been just a bit longer than a year now since then. Since Steve finally opened up about her completely and told him all about the girl that he remembered and loved. The girl he still loves so much that it rocks him to his core.

Breathing in the crisp and cold air he carefully placed one foot in front of the other and made the long journey down the rows, nodding softly as a greeting when he caught the attention of the other people there. The trek through the snow seemed to go on for hours, a never-ending walk to reach his destination, to see her.

And when he finally made it, he could feel the tears slipping down his face and the thumping of his heart beat against his chest. “Hey, doll. You know there’s no way I’m letting you spend Christmas alone, right? Not again,” he whispered softly and kneeled down, looking at the stone that rested in front of him.

“Here lays Y/N Barnes. Loving daughter, wife, mother. 1919 - 2010”

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

[katliveblogs]

“I could protect Mary from Helen, and I’d be closer to her.  Lillian’s close to her, and Helen’s getting closer to being a real friend of Mary’s.  It’s… what’s the word for building a relationship through closeness?”

“Propinquity?”

“Sure.  Propinquity.  That’s why I think I’d want to be a girl.”

Sy I’m both happy and sad to inform you that a cis guy would never think of wanting to be a girl just because it’d let them be closer to other girls, you are either already a girl, or something fairly close to it. Which is good in the sense that your desire is something that you can address, but less good because you live in a world that is not going to let you do that easily.

“One of these days, Sy…” he said, trailing off.

“You said you wouldn’t get weird!”

“I’m not getting weird.  I’m trying to decide if I should pity or fear the person you’re going to be in a few years.”

“Pity or fear,” I said, snorting.  “You’ll feel friendship, because we’ll be friends.  We’ll be together.  What’s to pity or fear?”

I think Jamie, as someone who has a library of information in their head, probably has some awareness of gender nonconformity, even if that awareness hasn’t been informed by exactly great sources. Sy meanwhile seems to just be in denial about the whole concept, and that there could be any cultural context whatsoever to tie “I wish I was a girl” into.

Just...take care of each other, ok?

“You’re assuming we survive that long,” he said.  “And no, that’s not an excuse for you to tell me when my time is supposed to be up.  I won’t ask until Gordon does.”

“I guarantee you,” I said.  “You and I, together.  You’re my best friend.”

I gave Jamie his space, keeping my back turned, while he got dressed.  Reaching into the wardrobe, I pulled out two Academy uniforms on hangers.  Both were badly wrinkled, and one was stained with blood.  I started measuring the two to figure out which one was most wearable.

Please tell me this is going to play a major part in the arc and that “Lips Sealed” mainly refers to struggling with these feelings and keeping them unsaid. Hovering in this limbo of “Are they both trans?, Is just Sy trans?, Are neither of them trans somehow and all my excitement is about to be crushed?” is going to be gosh dang unbearable otherwise, I won’t be able to focus on consuming the rest of the stuff going on in the arc.

Cloth rustled against my hand.  I didn’t look, but felt it, then seized it.

Jamie had passed me his spare uniform.  Unwrinkled and clean.

“Might be a little big, but it’s gotta be better than that.”

“Thanks,” I said.

I also think I’ve retroactively figured out the thing that caught Rick’s interest. The way Sy joined Mary in getting Ally to eat her oatmeal could definitely be construed as engaging in the sort of role the older girls at the orphanage usually occupy exclusively, and with Rick’s supposed hyperfocus on Sy and Sy being tired enough to slip up, they could have unconsciously emulated some mannerisms that were noticeable to him.

Point is I think it’s possible Rick is listening at the door right now, and that the arc title could be about getting him not to tell people about what he heard.

[mrs-entwistle]

1-59

1. Selfie?

2. What would you name your future kids?If Stephen and I have a girl in the future, we plan to name her Emily, but as for boy names, we actually haven’t thought about it!

3. Do you miss anyone?Gotta admit, yeah. A person or two.

4. What are you looking forward to?The weekend, my packages coming in the mail, and Stephen and I’s one year anniversary! :’)

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?Yeah, Stephen for sure 😊

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?It always has been for me, yes, regardless of the situation.

7. What was your life like last year?Absolute shit, I’ve got to be honest. Last year was one of the worst years ever. I’m just glad that 2017 made up for it tenfold :’)

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?I do that at least twice a week, ima be honest, lmao.

9. Who did you last see in person?Stephen and his brother.

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?No, not at all lmao I’m pretty bad at it tbh 😅

11. Are you listening to music right now?Nah, I’m listening to my bf and his brother playing video games.

12. What is something you want right now?For my packages to arrive in the mail!!!!!!

13. How do you feel right now?Sleepy and content 😌

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?Hmm, about an hour ago?

15. Personality description?Bubbly, moody, giggly, always saying or doing something silly and dumb for laughs, unique and one of a kind, very open mindset, shy at times given the situation but loves to make friends and make people happy, very competitive, has times of high confidence and very low insecurities, loves to love and be loved.

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?Of course.

17. Opinion on insecurities.Everyone has ‘em! They suck a lot but you just gotta try to move past them.

18. Do you miss how thing were a year ago?NO FUCKING WAY lmao

19. Have you ever been to New York?Not yet! I’ve always wanted to go, though. Stephen and I might go next year around the summertime if we have the money.

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

21. Age and birthday?22; November 2nd

22. Description of crush.You mean my boyfriend? Lmao well he’s about 5’3”, has long, curly, dirty blonde hair, big beautiful blue eyes with super long eyelashes, a precious pointy lil nose that I love to plant kisses on, and the fullest most softest lips ever. He has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen and is incredibly smart. Stephen is so bright and kind and sentimental and he brings a million smiles to my face every day. He’s a goofy goober and a wonderful musician and an even better boyfriend, and I’m so gosh dang lucky to have him in my life!!! I don’t know where I would be without him :’) ❤️

23. Fear(s)? Insects, heights, and the possibility of all of my insecurities coming true.

24. Height? About 5’2” or 5’3”.

25. Role model? I don’t know if I have any actual role models but I rlly look up to Zendaya and Lady Gaga, and because they’re such wonderful people!!!

26. Idol(s)? Basically every musician I listen to from the ‘70s lmaooo

27. Things I hate?Being interrupted, being ignored, feeling insecure about my weight, having nothing to do/not being active enough, bad mental health days, when people assume things about me, rubbing my hands on certain materials/seeing other people do that, pulling on strands of hair until it squeaks omgjskshk that’s the WORST thing, and not feeling important/good enough.28. I’ll love you if…You respect me! All I ask for is respect and understanding!

29. Favorite film(s)? Spirited Away, Edward Scissorhands, and Girl Interrupted are my top 3 👌🏼

30. Favorite tv show(s)?Stranger Things, That 70s Show, Roswell, Always Sunny, Dawson’s Creek, and Degrassi are some of my faves!!!

31. 3 random facts?I can’t swim, I have a permanent baby tooth that will never grow into an adult tooth, and I cannot stand watermelon/watermelon flavored/scented things.

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys? I don’t actually really have any friends… :/ I have a lot of acquaintances and “kind of” friends, but idk I guess I would typically say guys.

33. Something you want to learn?How to swim and how to drive!!!

34. Most embarrassing moment?Oh god, I have those nearly every day lmao there’s no way I could pick 🙈

35. Favorite subject?English.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?Getting a place of my own with my love, traveling the world, and publishing my own book.

37. Favorite actor/actress?Winona Ryder 😻

38. Favorite comedian(s)?Robin Williams, Ellen DeGeneres, Ben Stiller, etc

39. Favorite sport(s)?Basketball and tennis

40. Favorite memory?When Stephen and I first met irl ☺️💕

41. Relationship status?In a serious relationship ⭐️

42. Favorite book(s)?I don’t really read much anymore honestly, which kind of sucks :(

43. Favorite song ever?That is a loaded question!!!

44. Age you get mistaken for?The youngest is probably 16 lmao

45. How you found out about your idol?Like I said above, all my idols are mostly musicians from the ‘70s so I have to say I found out about them mostly because my mom always played their music while I was growing up! Then as I got older I began to delve deeper into their musical catalogues 🎶

46. What my last text message says? “OK I LOVE U BB”

47. Turn ons?I don’t feel it necessary to answer this because I’m in a relationship

48. Turn offs?Rudeness, disrespect, inconsideration, disloyalty, etc49. Where I want to be right now?Nowhere, I’m right where I want to be.

50. Favorite picture of your idol? *insert literally any photo of John Entwistle here*

51. Star sign?Scorpio!

52. Something i’m talented at?Making art.

53. 5 things that make me happy?Stephen, video games, cats, antique stores, and cotton candy!

54. Something that’s worrying me at the moment?Nothing, really! :o

55. Tumblr friends?They know who they are 😌

56. Favorite food(s)?Anything having to do with chicken, potatoes, mac n cheese, pasta in general, and garlic bread!!!

57. Favorite animal(s)?Cats and bats!!!

58. Description of my best friend? Refer to question #22 !!!

59. Why I joined tumblr?I joined in the summer of 2012 back when I was going through a lot, mentally and physically, and I had no friends because I was house-bound because of an illness. I came across Tumblr while looking for photos of The Beatles (I used to be a HUGE Beatles fan lmao) and decided to join in hopes I could make some friends who liked the same things as I did without leaving my house. It worked, so here I am! Lmao. Lots has happened to this blog/me over the years I’ve been on here. It’s pretty wild! I’ve met a lot of people, and lost a lot of people as we had falling outs or as they simply deleted their blogs. I’ll probably be here forever, just posting my aesthetic ‘70s shit, haha!

Thanks so much!!! 🌸🌷⭐️