#gordon where's your passport

[3liza]

ignoring every single other way this is a terrible fucking idea, the "more readable" dyslexia font is a literal eyesore, as in it makes all of this 10x harder to read for me and i think a lot of other people. hey man i thought someone might want to know everything wrong with me for whatever reason so here's a list of my various triggers and weaknesses and ways to exploit or injure me, and here is a copy of that list in case you throw the first one away

[oakdll]

There is something genuinely haunting about HLVRAI. Like it’s a comedy series, but there is some genuine terror in there.

Dr. Coomer’s clones, the way he will suddenly break from his robotic self into a nihilistic creature that somehow knows the secrets of Black Mesa, it’s scary. In Episode 4 when they reach the surface, Gordon asks why they can’t just climb the walls and escape, and Coomer replies in the scariest voice: “There’s nothing there. There’s NOTHING there.” His face contorts, his mouth opens further than normal when he talks, there’s a shrill ambient tone playing over his speech, it’s fucking terrifying.

Especially the Coomer clones, those are MORTIFYING. When Gordon is attacked by all the Coomer clones, the real one says: “I’ve been outside Black Mesa, Gordon. There’s nothing there but YOU. I know there’s a world in your dreams, and I need to go there. There’s an opening in your suit and I want in.” The way he talks about how he feels the pain of all of his clones is haunting. “Gordon, every time you go to sleep I can feel my body torn apart, atom by atom. It’s agonizing, Gordon… I’ve seen outside of Black Mesa, Gordon… There’s NOTHING. But I know you. There’s a world outside here, Gordon, and I need you to take me there.

I know I’m just quoting Coomer at this point, but his lines speak for themselves. He literally says with the most nonchalant voice: “Well, clearly crawling inside of your HEV suit and wearing you like a puppet didn’t work, so..” This is genuinely a horror series.

Benrey is also a terrifying character. He’s always so non chalant and comedic, but something about the way he mindlessly insists on Gordon showing his passport, the way he repeatedly comes back to life is chilling to me. Throughout the entire series, from the very beginning he has seemed more like a “thing” than a human. His motivations are so stupid but he has such a relaxed confidence that he can survive anything, it’s haunting.

He has his own rules for the world that are forever changing, never static. There are times where he berates Gordon for killing living creatures right after killing innocent people himself, it’s like he’s a child with no sense of morality given a gods body. I don’t know how to describe it, he is just so frightening to me.

Like the scene where he says that he added Gordon’s death to the All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 Wikipedia page is fucking hilarious, but it also gives off a haunting impression that he knows that Gordon is going to die and is preemptively adding it into history. When Gordon denies that he’s dead, Benrey says “Well, it’s not the end yet, so you can’t say anything.” Which is a TERRIFYING line, and the only reason it’s not talked about more is because he’s referring to All Dogs Go to Heaven 2. I love this series

Edit: While rewatching the finale, there’s a scene I forgot about that should definitely be included in this post. When the group is traversing the alien world, they find a dead guy in an HEV suit and Coomer says: “Look Gordon, it’s you!” Something about that is so scary to me, it’s like Gordon is watching a version of himself that died because of Benrey, it’s so scary for no reason

Also another Coomer quote: “Gordon, if you found out that everything around you wasn’t real- was FAKE- what would you do?”

[thegameartist03]

so about that in-depth post i owe ya

this is about the hlvrai undead au, so warning for major injuries, death, and body horror ahead! i wanted to go into more detail about how each cast member does (or doesn’t) die.

imagine, for a moment, that you are Gordon Freeman.

you’ve just arrived late to work on the day of the big experiment. you run through the halls as fast as you can to the locker room to get your HEV suit on. at the gate, you’re stopped by a random security guard who asks for your passport and hassles you about not being allowed in. you finally get past him, and then run into a fellow scientist that you’ve seen around. he introduces himself as Tommy and mentions something about soda. he seems upset about something, but that’s none of your business. you reach the locker room, and there you find Dr. Coomer- a clone of Dr. Coomer, to be exact, one of hundreds- and you politely address him, though he seems a little scatterbrained, then get suited up and head out. you’re almost there when you pass a commotion. looks like some of the scientists are manhandling an old guy in a hospital gown while he screeches at them about tubes and free will. that’s none of your business, and you’re way behind on schedule, so you continue on. you reach the test chamber, enter, and start setting up the experiment. Tommy, the employee you ran into earlier, is up in the observation room giving you instructions with a couple other scientists. you get to the point that you’re starting to push the crystal into the beam when something catches your eye.

up on one of the walkways is a skeleton.

that’s not possible, skeletons don’t just walk around without bodies, but it makes you pause for a moment before the scientists above loudly announce for you to continue with the experiment. it must just be stress making you see things, that’s all.

you push the crystal into the beam, and everything goes terribly, terribly wrong.

the machine overloads. a beam of green energy blasts through the window of the observation room, and the last you hear of the shutdown efforts is a collective scream. in your panic, you trip and your helmet falls off. now you’re absorbing god-knows-how-much radiation, but it doesn’t end there. a ball of brilliant verdant light builds in the center of the machine, shaking the room and lifting you off your feet, giving you a moment to watch in horror as you recognize the theoretical disaster that is a Resonance Cascade, before a massive shockwave throws you like a ragdoll against the wall of the chamber hard enough to crack your skull. arcs of plasma prickle across your exposed face, and you die.

except you don’t.

you could’ve sworn that you died, it really felt like you should’ve, but you wake up in the test chamber with a raging headache and a strange feeling in your chest. it’s not clear how much time has passed, but you know one thing for certain: you need to get out of Black Mesa.

long before the Resonance Cascade where everything went horribly wrong, a few crucial events occurred that inevitably lead to these unforeseen consequences.

a decade or so ago, Black Mesa and Aperture Science got into a legal battle that resulted in an exchange of leadership between the two companies. a direct consequence of this was harsh cutbacks on safety regulations in the Black Mesa facility, leading to a high employee turnaround and an even higher death record. management needed a solution for their dwindling population, so instead of robots or fewer OSHA violations, they created the Longevity Department. this department was responsible for finding any means to defy death and hopefully a way to reliably revive the heaps of lost staff so they wouldn’t have to hire new employees. there were many attempts made at simulating immortality, but none were particularly successful. eventually, they started dealing with a mysterious entity known as the G-man who provided the company with crystals from Xen, a dimension that existed outside of the concepts of life and death. but these crystals were meant to be used as a power source to solve Black Mesa’s growing power shortages, and they weren’t a main factor in the Longevity Department’s goals.

so what happened to the other members of the Science Team?

Benrey was your average security guard, a normal human who liked playing video games on his off time. his best friend was Tommy, one of the scientists that was hired a few years back and a bit of a quirky guy but nonetheless fun to hang with. Tommy’s been acting weird and sad though, and Benrey doesn’t know what’s up. on the day of the fateful test, the main man who was supposed to put the thing in the thing was late, so when he showed up Benrey decided to tease him a bit. when he finally let the guy go, Benrey was called to report elsewhere and help with a disturbance. he decided to take the rickety definitely unsafe elevator that didn’t have safety railings with some other employees. he and some other guards had a running competition for who could jump from the highest point on this particular elevator on the way down, so Benrey decided to show off to the boring scientists and hopped off early. in dnd terms, he rolled for athletics with disadvantage and no proficiency bonus and hit two nat ones. in a moment of tragic absurdity, Benrey hit the ground at such a bad angle he managed to break his neck. he was dead by the time the elevator stopped a few seconds later, and the scientists sighed about yet another security guard down and called for a cleanup crew.

Dr. Coomer was not the first Dr. Coomer, and he expected he would not be the last. the original Dr. Coomer was a great scientist who sadly contracted a terminal disease (completely unrelated to unprotected exposure to vats of green goop) and was ‘volunteered’ for the Longevity Department’s cloning experiments. cloning is not a perfect process, and many of the Coomers that are produced have serious health issues that kill them almost immediately. the ones that survive have to be augmented with various cybernetics to continue living, and due to the quality of parts every clone has about a 50/50 shot of their bodies rejecting the implants and dying anyway. the particular Dr. Coomer in the locker room that greeted Dr. Freeman was not only on the cusp of organ failure, but the implants in his brain had caused a fatal amount of swelling. he was supposed to be under observation, but he had managed to wander away from the other scientists and to the locker he was sure was his. shortly after Dr. Freeman left the locker room, he was found by the scientists from the cloning department. they tried to convince him to come back with them, to which he agreed, walked violently into a wall, and died on the spot.

Bubby was born in a test tube and he did not want to die in a test tube. creating test tube babies was an imperfect science, and the ‘experiments’ were subjected to accelerated aging, short lifespans, and a plethora of health issues. Bubby hadn’t spent years stuck breathing fluid then years more in physical therapy running tests to see if he could survive outside just for his body to betray him and get him thrown back in the darn tube at the end. thanks to an old friend, he managed to sneak out amidst all the hubbub surrounding some new fancy power source test. unfortunately, his body was no longer able to sustain itself outside of suspension, and his organs began to collapse on themselves under the weight of gravity. Bubby was caught halfway across the facility when his legs were too weak to run and his lungs didn’t want to cooperate anymore. he put up as best a fight as he could- his greatest wish was to see the outside before he kicked it, but failing that he absolutely refused to die in that tube- and a final bit of luck blessed him that his struggling overloaded his failing body. he fell unconscious before they could get the proper equipment, and within minutes, was dead.

and then there’s Tommy. due to his nature as a psychopomp, Tommy has a certain instinct for when someone is about to die. he was aware that Bubby wouldn’t make it and there would soon be another Coomer clone for the biohazard bin, but what upset him the most was his best friend Benrey. Tommy’s dad had warned him about getting attached to people in this line of work, but Tommy couldn’t help it. He was young (by supernatural standards) and he still had a lot to learn. He couldn’t tell Benrey what was going to happen of course, even if he did, it wouldn’t change his fate. So, as a way to say goodbye, he spent some extra time playing video games with his buddy before the day he was fated to die. this also happened to be the day Tommy was supposed to observe one of Black Mesa’s tests using a Xen crystal G-man had procured as part of his deal with the company. nothing major, just a simple experiment that would be over in less than an hour. Gordon Freeman would be the scientist handling the machinery, and Tommy already had a vague idea of when his time would be up. the man had a terrible habit of not double checking the seal on his helmet, and one day enough radiation would seep in to be fatal.

on the day of the test, everything went off as expected. Tommy felt it when Coomer, Bubby, and Benrey each fell, and though he was upset he planned on collecting their souls to guide them after the test. Gordon entered the chamber, Tommy and the other scientists instructed him step by step, and then-

well, for a being who has a sixth sense for life and death, the Resonance Cascade’s disruption of that balance, the outcry of every soul in the facility at once, and the screaming sensation that everything was wrong got to Tommy the moment things started going badly. he opened a door to the void and disappeared moments before the beam of energy struck the observation room. thus, he survived unscathed. returning to the destroyed facility was an overstimulating experience, but it was even more of a shock to find three people that should have absolutely been dead and gone running around and dodging newly created hazards.

far from the epicenter in the defunded Cybernetics Department, Darnold manages to survive the waves of Xenergy and holes himself up in his lab so the zombies and the US military can’t get him.

Joshua also exists in this! he’s the one character that is actually an ai. Gordon is constantly chosen for the HEV suit grunt work instead of being able to do the science behind the experiments, so to combat his frustration and boredom he messed around with artificial intelligence in his spare time. this led to the accidental creation of an actually sentient AI in his work computer that he named Joshua and labeled his son. he knows it would be very, very bad if Black Mesa found out about Joshua, so he keeps him a secret and has asked one of the much more stable Coomer clones to watch over him while he’s away. when the Rescas hits, Coomer is still watching Joshua, and when it becomes clear that things have suddenly gotten very bad, Coomer takes Joshua with him to try and find Gordon. the two have a series of misadventures in the facility while the Science Team are having their journey until eventually Tommy sends Sunkist to find Gordon’s son. from there, Sunkist takes Joshua and reunites him with his dad at Chuck E Cheese after the Benrey fight.

[freemanslimbo]

 Benrey brushed the hair out of his eyes, eyes which darted around the chamber before he had a moment. It was almost like a lightbulb popped up over his head, as a smirk cracked his face and he pointed at a unblocked door

There's our way out

Benrey, look... Gordon struggled to get up as he clutched his shoulder

I fucked up this experiment, I don’t know what to do. This was my life’s work, I-I… I can’t go on after this

Gordon leaned against the wall, this crisis washing over him

If Joshua could see me like this, he’d-he’d…

This Joshua?

Benrey was suddenly holding a picture of Joshua and Gordon in 2016 on Joshua's first birthday

Yes, where did you…

Found it in your locker, next to your passport and your driver’s license

And you were snooping in my stuff because…????

It’s security’s job, Gordon.

Alright, let’s get the fuck outta here.

Gordon and Benrey went over to the unblocked door that Benrey had pointed out earlier. Gordon limped over shrapnel and debris

[year2000electronics]

i feel like benrey’s weakness/fear is Exclusion. he likes being part of the team, being part of the game. he just wants to play games with people so Not Being Allowed To Play is the one thing he doesn’t want. i think that could be a rising point of contention between him and gordon WRT the betrayal because benrey probably knows this is a video game and it’s lame gordon is acting as if this is his real life. c’mon man. and gordon constantly trying to exclude benrey from the team even though he’s on shaky good terms with bubby would have him HEATEDDD.

coomer has his clones bubby has his prototype but benrey has His Friends. his big monologue is about having friends he goes “these are my friends i met online”. hes a social animal. but he’s also a social animal like a cat where he just likes following you around and staring at you.

i feel like gordon projects “you are other, you are different, and once i finally find the hole in your disguise the science team will finally listen to me and get you out” onto benrey because of his rising nervousness that the team might find out he’s been lying to them but benrey might also be projecting some of HIS stuff onto gordon. i mean think about it. everyone has their id everyone has their passport except gordon.

[decks-writing-blog]

Gordon Swap Chapter Eleven: He Didn't Know

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

Watching alternate-Gordon argue was mesmerizing. He was loud and brash, gesturing with his hands – or hand and stump – as he spoke, raising his voice more than was probably needed. When he got upset he made sure everyone around knew and made them listen, even awkwardly drawing his gun again and this time firing it – thankfully it wasn’t a danger to Benrey. Probably Gordon should interfere again but even more than the explosive interaction other-Gordon had had when reuniting with the rest of the team, it was hard to look away. And this time there wasn’t anything that needed to be explained, making it even harder.

Having a voice wasn’t necessary. Gordon got on just fine without one. He’d had plenty of chances to partake in experiments that might give him a voice much like how he’d been given hearing, but he’d always declined; sign language was fine. Never before had he had doubts about that. This guy though, he could hold people’s attention. It’d be a lot harder to dismiss him by merely turning away and would take quite a bit of effort to talk over him. Gordon had seen that before obviously in other people, Barney was like that too sometimes, but it was different when it was a version of himself doing it.

How many things were different and had gone differently in their lives to lead to this Gordon being like this? Presumably he’d been born with the ability to speak and hear. A pretty big difference that had no doubt led to lots of differences, big and small. How had it all led to him traveling with companions post the Resonance Cascade instead of being alone for so, so long? Gordon wanted to ask but… interrupting heated spoken arguments was difficult. If their situations were reversed, it would’ve been easy. Also, what questions would he even begin with?

So he just stood and watched them argue, fascinated by the open frustration playing across his alternate’s face. The fact that a strong reaction was obviously what Benrey wanted and thus being calm or just ignoring him would probably make him give up eventually seemed lost on him. Or actually, no ‘probably’ about it. Benrey had tried getting similar reactions out of Gordon but upon being rebuffed enough times had sulked off. Someone should tell other-Gordon that.

Eventually… “You know what? Fuck you. We’re here on an important world saving mission so we don’t have time for this shit. Goodbye.” With that, other-Gordon raised hand in a dismissive wave and as he turned and did the wise thing of walking way.

He was right! They were here for a very important mission. Now was not the time for Gordon to get lost in his fascination with his alternate self. Shaking himself mentally, he jogged to catch up and fell into step with his alternate. A slight tap on his shoulder and a point had him going in the direction the Vonnegut had pointed Gordon in upon stepping through the portal.

Barney jogged up to join them, coming in on other-Gordon’s other side. Leaving the rest of them to follow as they pleased.

“Hey, you can’t walk away. You need your uh, passport to go that way,” Benrey called after them.

Other-Gordon started to turn to respond. Gordon quickly tapped him on the shoulder again, getting his attention. He lifted a finger to his lips. Don’t respond.

He stared for a beat before answering in a hushed voice. “Uh, yeah, good idea… I think. I should ignore him even if um… he’s a bit harder to ignore now because of the whole… you know? Do you know why he’s so big?”

Gordon shrugged. None of the others had asked and he couldn’t so he had no way of knowing. They could pause now to do it but between stopping to observe this fight as well as the earlier one – needing to talk with Barney had saved him from getting as distracted there at least – they’d already spent far too much time standing around.

“Where you guys headed anyway?”

A look back revealed that Benrey was following, apparently he was with the group again. He’d phased partially through the ground as he did it, perhaps so he could stay low with them. Gordon had seen that earlier so it wasn’t surprising. It was another interesting mystery that there was sadly no time for yet.

“We’re uh… still going to the tower,” Tommy answered.

“And the Vonneguts are apparently helping us get there faster,” Bubby added, still sounding skeptical about it. An understandable reaction.

“They’re our new friends.” Coomer however sounded perfectly pleased with that idea. Good for him.

With the return of their original Gordon and Benrey present once more, their group was finally whole again. Other-Gordon obviously wasn’t as pleased about that as he could’ve been, understandably so after being betrayed. But Gordon was pleased with this development. It sure beat being alone and he got to see just how his alternate self interacted with them. Maybe a bit of a weird thing to want to see but with how many times other-Gordon had come up in conversation beforehand, it was hard not to be curious.

~

Unfortunately their time outside was brief before they were going through another portal leading to another Vonnegut run facility. Not that Gordon didn’t want more exposure to the aliens and their technology, just that knowing how much closer they were to the tower and thus how much further they had to go would’ve been nice to know. No choice though, they just kept going.

Their marching order, stirred by Benrey’s return, settled with Gordon, his alternate, and Barney in the front. Bubby, Coomer, and Tommy stuck with them to varying degrees but were always close behind as they’d been since Gordon had met up with them. Leaving Benrey, his size seemingly different every time Gordon looked at him, at the back or to the sides, just hovering around in general. Seemingly he was here to stay.

Naturally him staying caused unrest. Every chance he got, he poked at other-Gordon for a reaction. How obvious his desire for attention from him specifically was impossible to miss. He got it too because despite Gordon’s best attempts to keep his alternate focused, other-Gordon responded fairly often. Seemingly he couldn’t stop himself. Social interactions were something he just did without thought or effort required.

Eventually, things settled a bit more. Not completely calm but other-Gordon didn’t seem as primed to have another big show of frustration, rightful or otherwise. He was flagging, losing his spot at Gordon’s side. Given that, upon Barney suggesting they stop after the third big ambush in fairly quick succession, Gordon acquiesced to it. Earning a, “Wow, we actually get to stop to eat for once, it’s a damn miracle,” from Bubby.

And eat they did. Barney and other-Gordon had a whole pack of proper food they shared. All Black Mesa branded astronaut food but it beat vending machine snacks by miles. It was enough to get everyone more focused on eating than chatting for once, resulting in several minutes of almost quiet, a rarity in this group. Benrey didn’t eat, but he did seem content to just sit and watch, only making the occasional comment to other-Gordon.

“Why the fuck are you so big anyway?” other-Gordon eventually snapped at him.

“Just am. Why are you so small, huh?”

“I’m not small.”

“From his perspective you are pretty small, Gordon,” Coomer said as he lowered his now empty wrapper.

“Yeah and from the perspective of the universe, especially if we’re bringing the multiverse into it, he’s small. Relative size wasn’t what I was asking about. He was normal person sized before and now he’s giant. Why?”

“Something to do with Xen, I think,” Bubby answered as he shifted to look up at Benrey too. “’Cause he got this big when we got here.”

“So you’re another Xen alien then?” Barney asked.

Benrey shrugged. “I dunno, maybe.”

“How do you not know?” other-Gordon asked, mirroring Gordon’s thought almost exactly. It was nice to finally have someone with at least some of the same questions as him who could also ask them.

“Just don’t.” Alas, it seems they weren’t getting an answer though.

“Really, you don’t know? Or are you lying to be annoying?”

“I can’t lie, remember?”

Other-Gordon half sighed, half groaned. “Whatever, I don’t really care anyway.” A lie? Or was he just that upset with Benrey to not be curious about it? “The more important question is do you have to be that fucking big?”

Tommy cut in with, “Yeah. If you were smaller, you’d have an easier time hanging out with us again, right?”

“But being big is cool. You guys should try it sometime.”

“Yeah Gordon, you should try it sometime.” Coomer spoke as if he thought it were an actual option. Probably a joke but of all of them Gordon had the hardest time reading him.

“Sure, if I ever get the chance, I’ll try it. But that didn’t answer my question, do you have to be that big or can you shrink down to a more normal human size like you were before?” Other-Gordon waited for only half a beat before something seemed to occur to him and he quickly continued, leaning forward a little as he did so. “Because I bet you can’t. It’s probably too hard for you, huh? You’re too weak to be able to control whatever it is you’re doing that much.” Trying to goad Benrey into shrinking if it was possible and opening up an opportunity to mock him if he couldn’t. An obvious bait but given Benrey’s teasing of him it was deserved.

Benrey thought for a few seconds before reply. “’Bet’, huh? What’cha wanna bet?”

“Uh…” Other-Gordon’s fault for using the word ‘bet’. He should’ve known better. Tommy, sitting on his other side, whispered something to him that made his face scrunch up. “What? Why would I even have a Beyblade with me?”

Tommy sat back with a sigh. “I was hoping you would so uh… if he won, he could let me borrow it or maybe carry it for him. ‘Cause um, I miss mine and I’m still mad about the soldiers who said they’d give me one but didn’t.”

“Dude, if I had a Beyblade and you wanted it, I’d just give it to you.”

“Aw, thanks, Mr. Freeman. It’s the uh, thought that counts, right? I hope we get to go home soon.”

“Return to the bet idea, assholes,” Bubby cut in. “I wanna see one or both of you do something stupid.”

They’d all finished eating now so they should get a move on instead. But Gordon wouldn’t mind seeing one or both of them do something stupid too, especially since it was his alternate who’d started this particular interaction. So he stayed seated for now. Just another minute or two couldn’t hurt.

“How ‘bout a kiss,” Coomer suggested. “If Benrey proves he’s capable of returning to a normal person size, Gordon owes him a kiss. And if Benrey can’t then he has to forgive Gordon for not having his passport.”

“Deal,” other-Gordon and Benrey said at almost the same time.

In the following silence, Barney leaned in to whisper to Gordon. “These lot are kind strange, huh? Other-you told me ‘bout them but in person, it’s something else entirely.”

True, they were odd even in comparison to Gordon and Kleiner who were normally the weirdest people in any given room. It was interesting being normal for once. They were fun though. Gordon liked them. … It would’ve been nice if he could interact with them more the way other-Gordon was. Back and forth banter, instigating interactions. There was an edge to some of it because other-Gordon was still rightfully unhappy but he otherwise fit in well with them. He was like the straightman to their comedy antics. As a group, the five of them felt so much more complete with him present.

Gordon had been an outsider from the moment he’d started traveling with Benrey and was even more on the outside now. Barney’s presence alleviated that some but only a little. He could get up and leave and no one other than Barney would notice. Barney would also probably be the only one who would even care.

Shaking those thoughts off, he looked back up at Benrey. He’d closed his eyes in concentration, placing his hands in this lap almost as if he were meditating. He was shrinking. Slowly but surely he eventually returned to the size he’d been before coming into Xen.

“Fucking, damn it,” other-Gordon said as Benrey stood.

With what could only be described as an evil cackle, Benrey walked over to him. His motions looked stiff though as if he were physically uncomfortable. “Now you owe me a kiss, huh? Passportless boy.”

“Fuck you, man.”

“You gotta do it, Gordon,” Bubby said. “Betting he couldn’t do it was your dumb idea in the first place.”

“Yeah, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy added. “You said ‘deal’ when Mr. Coomer suggested it. So you have to.”

“Yeah, because I thought… whatever.” Other-Gordon stood. “I had to take the chance to get him to leave me alone, right?” He glared at Benrey, now almost a full head shorter than him.

“Kiss him, Gordon, kiss him.” Coomer stood, balling his hands into fists, eager to witness the chaos he’d sown.

“I’m waiting.” Hands behind his back, Benrey tilted his head up towards him. “Or are you a deal breaker as well as a…” He cut off as other-Gordon kissed him on the mouth.

It lasted several seconds. Sitting right in front of them, Gordon had a rather good view of it. Bubby stood to get a better look as well, his eyes wide under his glasses. “Didn’t expect that.”

Finally other-Gordon pulled back. “There. And you can’t say I skimped out on it either. So let’s just get a move on already, huh?” Pushing his glasses back up, he turned and walked away.

Benrey stared after him, blinking in surprise. He opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out. Seemingly he’d finally been stricken speechless. Interesting.

“Wow, that was quite something, huh?” Barney said with a chuckle as he stood too.

Gordon followed suit. Part of him was tempted to say something because it had indeed been quite something but they’d already wasted so much time and he was just letting them waste it. He really needed to stop doing that no matter how intrigued he was by his alternate. So he turned and jogged to catch up with him instead.

~

Thanks to all the practice Gordon had had while alone and now with so many fellow combatants helping – multiple of whom where superhuman, even if Benrey still didn’t participate much – it was far better than it would’ve been if this swap mix up hadn’t happened. Gordon was almost ready to thank the soldiers who’d ambushed him for making it happen and might actually do so if they ever showed up alive.

The hard fought for competency as well as the help primed Gordon to be cocky in battle. Which was further encouraged by other-Gordon’s, “How are you such a fucking badass?” after a particularly tense battle. Impressing others wasn’t a top priority but it did always feel good – even if it was with a skill he’d rather not have – and it being his alternate in particular, filled with him with an odd energy he wouldn’t have known how to convey if someone had asked him to.

With that being the case it was only a matter of time before he got a little too cocky. The HEV suit could protect him from a lot but the concentrated fire from multiple aliens while he stabbed his crowbar through the eye of one of the big beefy fellow a well aimed grenade had knocked over was a bit much. He felt like a badass doing it but as he wriggled the crowbar, covered in brain matter and eye juice, free the HEV suit’s speakers buzzed; out of power. Energy orbs drained it faster than the big guys’ homing insects or even bullets did.

He stumbled back towards cover but it was too late. As always it was like getting hit by a bolt of electricity. Without power, the metal of the suit still dampened the energy, making the pain of it passing through him less severe but more spread out. Already low on medi-gel, three was all it took to send him stumbling as his vision went dark at the edges.

Not dying yet though just hurt bad as blood welled up in his mouth – an unfortunately familiar taste, making him need to cough but he didn’t seem quite capable of doing so. … “User death imminent. Seek medical assistance.” Damn that voice even as it faded under the ringing in his ears. Right before entering this room would be a good place to reset to.

The intense pain and coppery taste of his blood lingered as a hand grabbed his shoulder and rolled him over. And then all three were gone and he was standing in the hallway, looking at the door that lead to another ambush as well as what looked like a handful of generators. Probably he should go right back in and be more careful and cautious this time but it had been a while since his last death so surely they could…

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” other-Gordon said, sounding quite upset. “What the fuck just happened?”

Gordon turned to face him. Did he not know?

“We were just in there.” He pointed to the door. “And, and you were dying, the HEV suit said it and everything. We were ambushed again. But now we’re… here and you’re fine, I think. Am I high or going crazy? Please tell me all that just really happened. Or maybe that it didn’t because what the fuck?”

He didn’t know. Gordon had been assuming his alternate not only had the same power but had experienced it. His team had been with him from the start though and thus in hindsight that wasn’t too surprising. It was possible he still had the power but he’d never died and thus didn’t know of it. He didn’t know what dying was like. The pain, fear, and suffering before the disorienting reset of everything being fine again. Physically anyway, the emotional trauma and memory of it remained.

With Gordon too stunned by this revelation, it fell to Tommy to respond. “He just kinda does that when he dies.”

“Kinda does what? What does that mean?”

“Time resets when this Gordon dies.” Coomer gestured to him. “He said he thinks it’s because of the Resonance Cascade.”

“Wait, what?” Barney looked between Coomer and Gordon. “Is that real?”

Gordon nodded.

“Holy shit that’s… wow. And you died? Just now, in there?”

Another nod.

“And now we’re back here,” other-Gordon said. “That’s… interesting, I guess. Horrifying too, kinda.” No ‘kinda’ about it. But he didn’t understand that because of course he didn’t. He didn’t know what it was like. He’d never died.

“Oh.” At some point when Gordon hadn’t been looking, Benrey had sized himself up again. He now barely fit in the hall. “Is that what’s been happening? I just thought we were all teleporting occasionally for some reason.” And had apparently been okay with it enough not to mention it. But given everything else about him, that kind of weirdness was basically to be expected.

Bubby glowered slightly as he crossed his arms. “So me and Barney are the only ones who don’t remember this shit?”

“I don’t remember clearly,” Coomer said. “I have only have haunches. Watch out not-Gordon! Don’t hang out in the open for too long during fire fights, it leaves you open to enemy fire. Try to find cover if you can. What killed him? Apparently enemy fire. A terribly tragic surprise.”

“Does Mr. Freeman reset time when he dies too?” Tommy cut in. “I mean like, they’re the same guy and if it’s from being in the room with the Resonance Cascade, he should, right?”

“We could test it,” Benrey suggested. “Might be fun, huh? Maybe it’ll bring your hand back too.”

Other-Gordon took a step back. “How about we don’t test it? Not purposefully anyway. If I fuck up and die we can test it then and only then.”

Coomer chimed in with, “But Gordon, don’t you want to know if you can’t die? Or I suppose, assuming it’s the same, you can die but you’ll come back. Don’t you want to know if you can transcend death?”

“And if you don’t come back,” Tommy said, “the other Mr. Freeman can reset to bring you back that way. So uh… really, it’s not that much of a risk at all.”

Other-Gordon grimaced but before he could say anything, Bubby cut in again. “Fuck it, I’ll test it.” He was already drawing his gun too, raising it towards other-Gordon.

Gordon was ready this time though and rushed forward and didn’t just push the gun down but deftly twisted it out of Bubby’s hand. At the same time Barney said, “Whoa, you can’t do that.” He’d reached for his own weapon but, Gordon having handled it, didn’t pull it.

“Were you really about to fucking shoot me?” Other-Gordon backed up a bit more, placing his back to the hall wall.

Bubby sputtered as he reached for his gun but Gordon pulled it away from him, pushing him back. “It was a joke. I wasn’t actually going to… Okay, maybe I was thinking about it. Not that I’d even fucking remember so there’d be no real point in it. So I wasn’t going to do it this time, I swear. I was gonna fire past him. Give that back, it’s mine.”

Gordon handed it to Barney instead. He was willing to forgive a lot and it wasn’t the first time he’d steered Bubby away from committing violence. But dying hurt and was scary and so, so awful. Regardless of whether or not other-Gordon came back through resetting time himself or from Gordon doing it, didn’t matter. He’d remember it either way. And even if Gordon was jealous of him for having never died, it wasn’t something he’d wish on anyone. He didn’t deserve to go through it.

“Bitch.”

Ignoring Bubby, Gordon turned and approached his alternate. His lifted his hands but… paused. What could he possibly say? How did he tell his other self how lucky he was to not know if or how the Resonance Cascade had affected him? Or how lucky he was for having companions. Even if some of them weren’t the greatest people around, it was better than being almost completely alone for the first half the journey, dying over and over again because Gordon was just a physicist who’d barely known how to use a gun at the start of this.

“I think you made him mad,” Coomer said. He was right. Gordon actually was a little bit mad about that ‘joke’.

Bubby mumbled an inaudible grumpy reply as otherwise the silence held. Barney stood to the side of Gordon and his alternate, ready to translate when/if he found the words. Should he even say anything? Admit to being jealous?

Finally it was other-Gordon who broke the silence. “Uh… thanks for that. Also, are you like okay, dude? Because you’re looking at me like… I don’t know. You wanna say something, maybe? But you’re not so… you good? Also you literally just died and that’s fucked up.”

No. He was wasn’t okay or good. Traveling with a chatty jovial group made for a good distraction and had lifted his spirits quite a bit in part because it had him dying less, making everything easier to bear but that didn’t make him okay. There wasn’t time to mope though. If he curled up and cried about it, not only would too much time be wasted, he wouldn’t be able to pull himself back together enough to keep going.

So instead of answering, he lifted his hands a bit higher and firmly planted them on other-Gordon’s shoulders. Hopefully it was reassuring and carried the unspoken promise that he wasn’t going to let other-Gordon suffer the pain of death if he could at all help it. He then turned and started for the door. There was no time to waste. They had to get a move.

“Damn, I thought you two were about to kiss,” Benrey said.

Rightfully ignoring him for once, Other-Gordon followed, putting himself on level with Gordon, Barney on his other side once. “Was that a ‘yes’, you’re okay, or ‘no’ you’re not okay?”

Gordon wasn’t going to answer. Barney did it for him. “I can’t really tell either. We could take a break if you need one.”

Before anyone else could say anything, the air around and above them crackled as hostile aliens began teleporting in. Gordon would be more careful this time, less caught up in the group’s high energy. Hopefully by the end of it, the question of whether or not he was okay would be forgotten.

~

Gordon’s burning curiosity about the aliens’ technology was somewhat satisfied every time they ran into a part of the facility that required the use of said technology for them to traverse. The Vonneguts of course did most of the work but Gordon and company were allowed to look and touch. It never lasted long but it was damn cool for how long it did. This machine was bigger than all of those and at the end of line. Presumably activating it would include another portal, taking them even closer to the tower.

Eager to see and forever not drawn to the idea of slowing down or stopping, Gordon wanted to go through right away. He wasn’t alone though and they’d been walking for so long. Long enough that even Gordon was feeling at the end of his rope. And thus, sadly, it was time to stop and sleep. Conveying that to the Vonneguts eager to push them onward was surprisingly not too difficult once Barney produced a pen and notepad to help communicate with via drawings.

They ended up in a secluded room that was most likely a spare storage space, judging based off the barrels stack in one corner that made up the only objects in the room. Not exactly comfortable but far enough removed to be somewhat safe should any balloon guys teleport in to mind control the Vonneguts. Only one entrance also meant it was defensible should such an attack occur. Getting teleported in on directly was still a concern of course but Gordon was going to make sure they set a proper watch this time.

Benrey was still with the group. By far the longest he’d stuck around for. He’d even shrunk down to a normal person size for the first time since their earlier rest. Meaning he could sit with them as they settled in their loose circle. Other-Gordon mumbled a mostly inaudible complaint because Benrey of course chose to sit next to him, the reason he did it probably.

“Hey, uh, what happened to you hand? How’s it still missing, huh?” It was the third time Benrey had bought the hand up. Did he really think it was going to grow back? Probably, right? He’d assumed Gordon’s ‘missing hand’ had grown back before they’d figured out the swap and hadn’t seemed to think that was particularly odd. Maybe whatever he was grew back lost limbs and no on had told him that that’s not how it worked for humans.

Other-Gordon groaned again. “No, we’re not having this conversation again! Shut up.”

“Instead,” Tommy said, “we should talk about um… this place. I’m not sure how much of it is up to OSHA regulation standards. Some of it looks like it might be but it’s all so alien and stuff so… I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. What do you guys thinks?” What an odd thing to think about.

“I’m pretty sure OSHA doesn’t operates in Xen,” Bubby said.

“They might,” Coomer replied. “Or they might have their own OSHA with different regulations. So the question is ‘are they approved by alien OSHA?’ In which case what are their regulations?”

And thus while they had their pre-bed snack – it hadn’t quite long enough for this to be another meal – the three of them discussed the hypothetical alien OSHA. Gordon only half paid attention to it. Much more pressing on his mind was that tomorrow, hopefully, they would be fighting the thing sending the aliens to kill them. With infinite retries on their side, they were guaranteed to win. How hard it was going to be though? How many times would Gordon die? Blessedly he wasn’t alone. If he’d been alone for this… who even knows how much worse it would’ve been?

This swap thing was the best thing that could’ve happened to him. Other-Gordon had been with his friends from the start of the disaster. Lucky him. Even with the betrayal and cut off hand, Gordon would’ve preferred his situation. Did he even know how good he had it? Gordon would have to try to keep him safe from figuring it out.

Eventually the conversation wound down as it was decided by Tommy that the alien OSHA, “probably exists and approves of this facility. It makes sense, right? If they didn’t approve, this place would be shut down by now and it’s not. So they’re good to go.”

“Now,” Bubby said, “the next question is do they have an alien Wikipedia?”

Coomer perked up to answer but was cut off by other-Gordon’s, “Nope, we can discuss the possibility for alien Wikipedia tomorrow. It’s bedtime. Before that though,” he scooted over a little so that he was facing Gordon instead of sitting next to him, “we gotta talk. ‘Cause you’re me, you know?”

Gordon did know. While walking they hadn’t had many chances to discuss that, especially since needing Barney to translate made it more difficult in general. The frequent interruptions to kill aliens made it even harder. They needed sleep but a quick chat beforehand couldn’t hurt, could it? So… “Okay. Let’s talk.”

“He’s cool with it,” Barney relayed as he shifted a bit over too.

Coomer stood walked over to looked down at them. “Gordon, I want a bedtime story.”

Other-Gordon sighed. “Okay, sure. Let’s figure out a watch schedule first, then I’ll tell you a bedtime story and then me and other-me will finally have a proper chat.”

~

Next Chapter

[brianwashere]

if your requests are open, could i have benrey with a s/o who's also part of the science team ? i love your writing and thank you !

Uhhhhh YURRRRRRRR. Benrey Benrey Benrey. Love that little freak (affectionate). I wanna put him under a microscope and study him.

Alrighty I did HCs bcc it just felt right and I wanna work through my inbox.

You uhhhh need a player 2?

-you first met bcc you were a scientist and when you checked in he asked for your passport.

-you were confused, but luckily you got the company email so you had your passport on you

-xe was immediately enamored by you

-less in a “man I love him” and more of a “man he remembered his passport. I should give him my PlayStation tag.”

-so it nervously asked for your PlayStation tag

-you had to explain you were an x box user

-he nearly considered losing interest in you then and there.

-anyway

-you’re good buddies with Gordon, you’ve even met Joshua

-so when you and Benrey start dating he’s pretty off put

-he expressed his concern to you but he never even brings up breaking up with Benrey bcc it’s your life and obviously Benrey makes you happy

-even if they’re very very weird

-Coomer and Bubby knew from the beginning that Benrey liked you—he didn’t tell them—they just knew

-they just watched it happen and said not too subtle things

-“oh young love, don’t you remember those times, Bubby?” “I can’t even remember what I ate last night.”

-Tommy was very similar

-“oh look at that, Benrey’s sweet voice is red and pink around you! Red to pink means ‘I think you’re pretty neat!’ :DD”

-even Sunkist knew what was up

-before you got together he’d catch you as you walked into black mesa and say “I don’t think you uhhhh now where you’re going there, pal.” And he’d walk you around black mesa, purposely misleading you so they got to spend more time with you

-when you do get together it’s probably a very awkward and confusing confession

-Benrey’s like “so uh…I need a player two”

-“Benrey, I already told you I have an x box…”

-eventually you two get there though

-Benrey constantly uses sweet voice around/on you (if you’re ok with it, obviously)

-it’s xer love language

-when you first see him in a form that’s not his human-ish one you’re obviously alarmed but after the initial shock you’re very curious

-you are a scientist after all

-it actually makes xem feel really good about themselves

-it is startling to wake up in the middle of the night and see some humanoid figure in the top corner of your room with 30 fluorescent eyes all staring at you

-“you alright, babe?”

-“hm? Oh, yeah. Just watchin you..”

-you figured out they actually don’t sleep

-all in all it loves you to Xen and back

[wukongfeetpics]

one of those fucking uh. angel/demon aus where benrey is a demon and tommy is an angel and theyre just casually friends :) hanging out and shit. tommy listens to benrey infodump about video games. they dont talk much about their respective jobs (but when they are talked about, tommy is usually the one talking). tommy is technically gordons guardian angel but gordon has special fun hell-adjacent problems so he also got bubby and coomer to "protect" him (he herds them out of trouble on a daily basis. oh the high jinks.) tommy is the one gordon trusts most and with his life. benreys just a chill guy . doesnt know why gordons so freaked out all the time. benrey tags along on their adventures but mostly takes a backseat when it comes to actually helping, which drives gordon insane to no end. WHY even come along if you arent going to HELP????? AM I IN HELL????? DID I FUCKING DIE?????? and benreys like. well i dunno why ur so mad. maybe calm down a little? weirdo. yellin' at me 'n shit. didnt even bring your passport ([doctor coomer voice] its true! gordon did NOT bring his passport!)

[snowyvoid]

I love your haunted siphonophore posting so much it's really good. I think it really fits with how the science team and the game and benrey all sort of play off of each other with Gordon always ending up as the victim/'food' but there's a slight dissonance between all of them. Benrey comes back as a skeleton and for the first night he just walks around and talks like normal until after Gordon wakes up where it seems to become it's own creature that is more tethered to the gamespace (I know it clips out and fucks with geometry but it also feels like it starts to slot into the role of 'spooky skeleton to antagonize and frighten the player' instead of 'benrey is around and talking to people when he's supposed to be dead'). Or how the world seems to bend to fit the insane things the Science Team says (Sunkist, Chuck E Cheese, Passport, etc) but Coomer is still seperate enough from the game that he becomes frightened and angry when he realizes that his world is small and painted. They all kind of group up into one thing, which is basically an elaborate bait and trap for Gordon, but there's tension between the individual pieces and they all have unique perspectives on what's happening despite playing into the same greater thing.

Sorry I'm having a hard time capturing exactly what you meant into this I get what you meant it's just. words are difficult. But your hlvrai thoughts make me insane

no this is like. exactly what i mean. you get it.

the thing about siphonophores is that each component of the organism has its own mouths. like. one component will be the stomach, one will make the organism swim, etc etc, but they all have their own mouths. they all feed.

and there is always this kind of dissonance between gordon and the others, and yes obviously he is the one playing a video game, but i always felt like it went deeper than hostile AI being weirded out by the new guy. it felt more,,, natural?? i guess??? it all feels set up on a stage. aside from the fact that its a game and it is has coded events. the AI, the thing that is suppose to think for itself, still seems kinda. within its own limits. stuck within the body of the facility. (for example, coomer and/or bubby freaking out when they go outside of the skybox/into space).

but the dissonance between the science team and the game/facility is!!! oh my godddd!!!! i could write an essay on that shit. so interesting. and i love that the dissonance is often physically manifested. your hatred towards this thing that you hate is real and will be seen and will affect the world outside you.

like. you have this thing, a large container that has events and ideas that are built into it (the game, the organism as a whole, the haunted house), and there are different components within this container that have some kind of symbiotic relationship (good or bad) with the outside container (black mesa, the individual nervous systems of the organism, the rooms/ghosts/humans haunting* the house), and all of these individual components has a manifestation of its difference or hostility (the science team, the individual mouths, the opinions each component of the haunted house has on each other (i need to make another post about this)).

sorry that was probably really complicated. i just needed to get it out of me because its all ive been thinking about since i made that first post.

*this is within the idea that the hypothetical house is haunted by something. which is generally the idea i go for when in reference to sentient AI, the whole this house had a purpose and it changed, this AI had a code and it was faulty. etc etc. pretty sure ive already posted something about that.

weird little mspaint diagram with some other ideas i have not talked about. note; this is not scientifically accurate to siphonophores. i just thought they were a really good allegory. you are definitely gonna need to zoom in for this thing. but it is important to the explanation i guess.

i just find it really fun to put obvious differences between characters/living things and see where they come together. like the science team, gordon, and benry are all separate beings in their own way but they are like a family. blah. hope you enjoy as always this is a bit messy.

[blueboxphenomenon]

The Gatwick Incident, 1966

London. 20th July, 1966

On the morning of July 20th, 1966 flight 729 returned from Madrid to Gatwick airport, only to be forced to abort its attempted landing due to an obstruction on the intersections of runways five and two. The pilot reported the presence of a police box on the runway, prompting air traffic control to dispatch police. Police chased away four strangers, and the police box was collected from the runway. Control initially believed it to be the product of a practical joke. If only they knew what they were in for that day…

If you were a student in 1966 looking for a cheap gap year, Chameleon Tours were your best budget option. For just £28, Chameleon Tours offered people between the ages of 18-25 a package holiday to any one of the most popular tourist destinations in Europe: Zurich, Rome, Athens, Dubrovnik, and Freiburg, Madrid, and Baden-Württemberg. It was a popular choice, with 50000 young people taking to Europe from Gatwick via Chameleon Tours, who operated four of their own planes from the airport.

Fifty-thousand young adults left Gatwick for various European flights, and not a single one returned. One of those people was Ryan Briggs, who took a Chameleon Tours flight to Rome. Everything seemed normal to his family at first. Ryan caught his flight, and sent back a hand-written postcard shortly after arriving. However, that was the last the Briggs family heard from Ryan for some time. His sister, Samantha Briggs, implored the authorities for help, but was unable to get anywhere with them. She contacted the hotel at which Ryan was supposed to be staying, only to find he had never checked in. Police in Rome found no trace of a Ryan Briggs, and neither did Rome's international airport. Inspector Gascoigne was the first to take Samantha's worries seriously and, on the 20th of July, arrived at Gatwick to investigate. While airport security was dealing with the matter of a police box and four trespassers, Gascoigne was investigating the private Chameleon Tours hangar. That is where his corpse was later found, his clothes singed as though he somehow died by electrocution.

A police box on a runway, a missing young man, and a murdered police officer. You would think things were already as strange as they were going to get, but you'd be wrong. Two people arrived at Immigration and Customs attempting to report a dead body. They arrived with no passports, despite coming from the arrivals gate. One was a scruffy-looking gentleman in a frock coat and the other a boy with a Scots accent wearing a kilt. When interviewed by journalist James Stevens, Samantha Briggs would describe the scruffy-looking man's accent as "blurred," and referred to him as "a short man with a mournful face and dishevelled clothing." He seemed to her to be "incredibly well informed." Everyone seemed to call the man "Doctor," as though it were more of a name than a title. The Scots boy wearing the kilt went by the more conventional name of Jamie. Curiously, a white-haired man also calling himself "Doctor" was present with Sir Charles Summer in South Kensington at the time, seemingly involved with the on-going War Machine threat caused by the activation of WOTAN.

The airport manager, Charles Gordon, was called to satisfy the Doctor's demands to see a figure of authority about the body, and escorted the mystery man and Jamie to the Chameleon Tours hanger, where they found nothing more than a crate of plastic cups. Unamused by the Doctor's claims, Gordon tried to have trespassers arrested, only for them to escape.

It was around this time that Samantha Briggs arrived at the Chameleon Tours kiosk to make enquiries about her missing brother Ryan Briggs. She found the representitive entirely unhelpful but ended up meeting with Jamie, who promised that he had a friend who might know how to help her, and mysteriously asked that they meet later. It was Samantha that made an important discovery in the case of the missing passengers - Chameleon Tours had their customers fill out postcards before leaving on their flight. The postcards were collected at the kiosk, sent out to Chameleon Tours facilities at the country the flights were supposed to go to, and then posted back by Chameleon Tours to the families in the UK as if from the passengers. Meanwhile, Detective Inspector Crossland arrived in search of his missing collegue: Detective Gasgoigne.

Inspector Crossland was able to convince Charles Gordon to humour the Doctor further, and it appears some members of Gatwick staff were starting to come around as it was the manager's assistant Jean Rock who made the next key discovery. Having called around the various international airports to which Chameleon Tours were chartering flights, she discovered that Chameleon Tours only ever picked up passengers but never dropped them off. It was as though the passengers disappeared mid-flight.

Gatwick usually only monitors flights for around fifty miles before they drop off the radar, otherwise they would have too much traffic to monitor. It was not unusual that Chameleon Tours flights disappeared from their radars after fifty miles, as they simply weren't looking that far. Manager Gordon could not have expected to see what he did when he requested the RAF to tail the 1530 to Rome, however. As the Chameleon Tours flight to Rome reached the edge of expanded radar range, the RAF jet was seen to go completely out of control and crash into the sea, disappearing from radar. The Chameleon Tours flight then appeared to stop moving, something that could only indicate that it was dropping straight down. The plane then disappeared off radar.

The initial assumption was that the two aircraft had collided, dropping into the ocean. When rescue services found the wreckage, however, there was only wreckage of the RAF fighter jet and no sign of the 1530 to Rome. The pilot was found electrocuted in his seat. So where did the Chameleon Tours flight go? Where do all the Chameleon Tours flights go? Perhaps the plane did not drop out of the sky, but instead shot directly upwards beyond the scope of radar, into space. Maybe that sounds farfetched, but how else do you explain an aeroplane hovering in the same spot on radar but without leaving wreckage in the sea below? Admittedly, many wrecks are lost at sea, but then how do you reconcile the fact that the RAF flight, which went down at the same time, was found while the Chameleon Tours flight was not?

Let's break down what was happening. Chameleon Tours planes would leave from Gatwick carrying a cabin filled with young people. They would fly fifty miles out of the UK and disappear. The flight would then return without passengers. Postcards from the passengers, filled out before the flight, would be sent to the plane's supposed destination and then posted back to the UK to make it appear as if the passengers arrived safely. But to what end?

The reports of DI Crossland simply refer to "holiday fraud," and while there are no police reports regarding the recovery of the fifty-thousand missing people, they started to turn up on delayed flights for the rest of the evening, trickling back into society as if they hadn't gone missing at all. Twenty-five members of staff at Gatwick airport recall waking up lying on the concrete in the carpark, missing hours of time with no recollection of how they got there.

Some theorise that Chameleon Tours were a cover for a human trafficking ring and even though they were busted the whole thing was covered up so London's second biggest international airport could save face. Others theorise that it was a money laundering front involving simply moving the same group of people around to make the company look busier than it really was. More outlandish theories include Chameleon Tours being a result of C-Day and the computer WOTAN trying to wipe out humanity, a system of alien abductions replacing people with shapeshifting duplicates, and a government test of international security where they abducted real people and wiped their memories before returning them later.

Whatever the truth was behind Chameleon Tours, there are plenty of witnesses to the presence of "the Doctor" and it features one of the most convincing blue box sightings in history as it comes from a pilot.

[grapemoon]

Hello Gordon where is your passport 😀

Slowly turns tocamera with a knowing look

[raizinggroup12]

Top 5 Beach Destinations in Israel for Adventure and Relaxation

Adventure and Relaxation: The Best Beach Getaways in Israel

For travelers looking for the perfect mix of adventure and relaxation, Israel’s beaches offer golden sands, crystal-clear waters, and endless opportunities for water sports. Whether you want to dive into the vibrant marine life of the Red Sea or simply bask in the Mediterranean sun, Israel’s coastline has something for everyone. Here are the best beach getaways in the country.

1. Eilat: The Ultimate Red Sea Escape

Eilat, Israel’s southernmost city, is a paradise for water sports enthusiasts. Located on the shores of the Red Sea, this resort town offers world-class diving and snorkeling at Coral Beach Nature Reserve, where vibrant coral reefs and exotic marine life await. For those seeking excitement, activities like jet skiing, parasailing, and banana boat rides are available. With its warm waters and year-round sunshine, Eilat is an ideal destination for both adventure seekers and relaxation lovers.

2. Herzliya Beach: Luxury and Leisure Combined

Herzliya’s pristine beaches offer a more upscale beach experience, with high-end resorts, gourmet restaurants, and stylish beach clubs. The Marina area provides opportunities for sailing, jet skiing, and stand-up paddleboarding. Whether you want to lounge in a beachfront café or take part in water sports, Herzliya Beach is perfect for a luxurious yet laid-back beach day.

3. Gordon Beach, Tel Aviv: The Heart of Urban Beach Life

Gordon Beach is one of Tel Aviv’s most popular beaches, attracting locals and tourists alike. Located near the city’s bustling promenade, it offers volleyball courts, beachfront bars, and a lively atmosphere. Visitors can enjoy a refreshing swim in the Mediterranean, take a yoga class by the water, or simply relax under an umbrella while soaking up the sun. With its prime location and vibrant energy, Gordon Beach embodies the dynamic spirit of Tel Aviv.

4. Dor Beach: A Hidden Gem for Snorkeling

For those looking to escape the crowds, Dor Beach is a hidden gem located along Israel’s northern coast. The beach features crystal-clear waters, rocky coves, and natural lagoons, making it perfect for snorkeling and exploring marine life. The calm and shallow waters make it an excellent choice for families and nature lovers looking for a peaceful retreat.

5. Palmachim Beach: Natural Beauty and Serenity

Palmachim Beach, located south of Tel Aviv, is known for its unspoiled beauty and tranquil ambiance. Unlike the more commercialized beaches, Palmachim offers a natural, serene escape with soft sand dunes and breathtaking sunset views. It’s a favorite spot for picnics, beachcombing, and simply unwinding in nature.

Plan Your Beach Vacation with Ease

Whether you're planning an active beach adventure or a relaxing getaway, our visa and passport services ensure a seamless travel experience. Enjoy the sun, sea, and sand without any hassles! Let us handle your travel documentation so you can focus on making the most of Israel’s stunning beaches.

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[inkmonster21]

Let Me In

Series Masterlist

Heath Ledger Joker x Fem!Batgirl!Reader

Warnings: internal battles, violence, smut

Weak Spot

💚🃏💜

The guilt weighed heavily on you, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell Bruce about your time spent with the Joker. You feared his judgment, his disappointment, and the weight of his disapproval. It was easier to keep the secret to yourself, to try and forget the whirlwind of emotions you had experienced during that time. But even as you chose to keep silent, a part of you knew that the memories would linger, haunting you in unexpected moments.

The realization that you loved the Joker, in all his twisted and maniacal glory, was like a knife to the heart. You knew that he was a monster, incapable of love or being loved, but it didn’t diminish the feelings that had taken root within you. Yet, the rational part of you understood that you could not be with him. To be with him would be to embrace the very chaos he perpetuated, to embrace a life of violence and destruction. You were a Batgirl, a symbol of justice and order, and to be with the Joker would be to betray everything you stood for.

To cope with the conflicting emotions and to escape from the relentless thoughts of the Joker, you threw yourself into your work as Batgirl, once again standing alongside Batman. You buried your feelings beneath the mask, focused on the missions and the battles against the dark forces that plagued Gotham. The memories of the Joker were suppressed, pushed to the back of your mind where they couldn't torment you. You became more distant, more stoic, masking your inner turmoil with a facade of determination and dedication to the cause.

Harvey Dent, the District Attorney, stands on the rooftop, illuminated by the glow of the Bat Signal. He has a serious expression on his face, a stark contrast to the usual lightheartedness he exudes. “You know, you two are quite hard to get in touch with." His words hung in the air, a mix of urgency and exhaustion evident in his tone.

Lieutenant Gordon hurriedly joined you and Batman on the rooftop, breathless from the hasten climb. His expression was grave, reflecting the seriousness of the situation that had prompted this meeting under the Bat-Signal.

Harvey continued, his frustration showing, "Lau’s halfway to Hong Kong by now. If you had just asked me, I could have taken his passport. I've told you, Gordon, repeatedly to keep me in the loop.” Gordon retorted defensively, "All that was left in the vaults were marked bills. They knew we were coming as soon as your office got involved!"

Harvey's frustration boiled over, and he snapped back, "My office!? You're sitting down there with scum like Wuertz and Ramirez, and you're talking about my office!" He paused, his voice growing louder, "I almost had your rookie cold on a racketeering beat!"

Gordon countered, his tone stern, "Don't try to cloud the fact that, clearly, Maroni's got people in your office, Dent!" The tension on the rooftop was palpable, the two men locked in a heated exchange of words.

You interrupt the escalating argument, your words cutting through the tension, "Boys, how about we focus on the actual problem here? Getting Lau back? We don't have time for this." You meet their gazes, hoping to shift the conversation back to the urgent matter at hand.

Both men fall silent, their attention now directed to you and your words. The tension in the air simmers down, and they compose themselves. Gordon nods, a glimmer of agreement in his eyes, while Harvey takes a deep breath, his frustration seemingly pushed aside for now. "The Chinese won't extradite a national, under any circumstances." The gravity of the situation hangs heavily in the air.

You turn your gaze towards Batman, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. "I think you can handle that, can't you?" You ask, confidence radiating from your very being. Despite the serious nature of the situation, you have absolute faith in Batman's abilities. He doesn't disappoint, simply giving a small nod in response, silently accepting the challenge.

Batman turns his attention to Harvey Dent, his gaze steady and determined. "If I get him to you, can you get him to talk?" he asks, his tone firm and resolute. Harvey considers the question for a moment, his expression thoughtful, before nodding slowly. "I'll get him to sing," he affirms, a look of determination hardening his features.

“How will you get him back in “ Harvey is interrupted mid-sentence as he sees Batman has suddenly disappeared. Harvey looks around, slightly bewildered, before turning to you with a raised eyebrow. "He does that all the time?" he asks, a mix of surprise and amusement in his voice.

Batman's uncanny ability to disappear into the shadows is both amusing and impressive. You simply nod in agreement with Harvey's questioning expression, confirming his suspicion. "Every time," you reply, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

Gordon turns his attention to you, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. "Batgirl, any luck on finding the whereabouts of the Joker?" His question hangs heavy in the air, a silent, collective acknowledgment of the ongoing hunt for the Clown.

A pang of guilt and indecision grips you as you consider Gordon's question. You know exactly where the Joker is, and yet, you find yourself unable to speak. An internal battle rages within, torn between the desire to reveal the truth and a strange compulsion to keep it concealed, even from those who should know.

Despite the struggle within, you manage to muster a response, your voice steady. "No," you say, a hint of contemplation in your eyes, "I'll keep looking." The words linger in the air, echoing the internal conflict you're grappling with.

Gordon nods in acknowledgment, seemingly accepting your response, though his gaze remains thoughtful, sensing the hidden turmoil beneath your words. The topic drops, for now, but you can feel Gordon's eyes linger on you, his curiosity piqued.

The early hours found you returning to the solitude of your lonesome mansion. It was as if the mansion itself mirrored the emptiness and solitude that surrounded your soul. You slowly trudging towards your bedroom, each step heavier than the last. The exhaustion from the night's events begins to weigh down on you, both physically and emotionally.

As the door creaks open, the room stands before you, almost eerily unchanged since you left - save for one exception. A single book lays innocently on the pillow, the very pillow where the Joker himself slept, leaving an unexpected, ominous reminder of his presence.

Your gaze falls upon the book, and recognition flickers over your features as you realize it's your own copy of Romeo and Juliet. The cover, familiar and weathered from countless reads, holds a certain nostalgia. You pick it up, recalling the conversation about the book.

The Joker amuses himself as he peruses the shelves of your bookcase, his fingers brushing over the spines of various titles. His expression holds a mix of curiosity and mockery as he scans the books. Then, he pauses, his hand reaching for the familiar cover of "Romeo and Juliet." He chuckles softly, a low, gravelly sound escaping his lips. “A classic tale of tragic love?” he muses, his tone tinged with sardonic humor. He flips through the pages, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Young love, destined for disaster. How romantic."

You watched the Joker from the bed, a soft smile gracing your lips as you admitted, "I think so," Your words hung in the air, raw and vulnerable, before continuing, "I always wanted someone to love me so much it hurt." The room seemed to grow still for a moment as the weight of your confession settled.

The Joker's gaze flicked from the book towards you, a smirk playing on his lips. He muses, his tone tinged with a hint of mockery, "Sounds like a masochist's wet dream." You laugh at the Joker's jest, gently taking the book from his hand and flipping through the pages, "Not like that," you correct, your fingers tracing over the pages of Romeo and Juliet. "It's just... the way they love each other is so intense. So all-consuming."

The Joker's touch feather-light on your cheek sends a shiver down your spine, his tone shifting to one of playful intrigue. A mischievous smirk playing at the corner of his lips, "And how do you feel about me? Is it… All consuming?"

Your gaze falls back to the book, your finger tracing over the words. You find the perfect quote, one that speaks volumes about your feelings in this moment. Silently, you trace the words, the room filled with tension and anticipation. The Joker observes you intently, his eyes locked onto your every move, waiting for you to speak, to give voice to your emotions.

You quickly snap the book shut, a sense of realization washing over you. You couldn't bring yourself to openly express the depth of your feelings so soon. It felt too vulnerable, too intense. The room falls silent as the weight of unspoken words hangs heavily in the air.

You carefully return the book to its rightful place on the shelf, then turn back to the Joker with a small smile. "Come on, it's your pick for the movie," you remind him, trying to shift the mood and steer the conversation away from the emotional terrain you had briefly ventured upon.

The Joker's smirk returns as he hears your words, his demeanor shifting back into his characteristic playfulness. "Alright, alright," he concedes, a glint of mischief in his eyes, "But no Disney princess movies, no chick flicks."

Back in the present, you find yourself staring at the familiar cover of the book on your pillow. The memory of the past interactions with the Joker floods your mind, filling you with a mix of nostalgia and unease.

As you flip through the pages, one page, in particular, catches your eye: a page where a familiar Joker card is stuck in the crease. A wave of nostalgia and surprise washes over you as you gently remove the card, holding it delicately between your fingers.

Your gaze falls on the printed words on the card: "O sweet Juliet." A bittersweet smile graced your lips as you ran your finger over the lettering, the stark contrast between the words and the sinister image of the Joker sending a shiver down your spine.

Your eyes scan the pages before you, drawn to the words underlined so deliberately. "Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in a lover’s eyes; Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers’ tears: What is it else? a madness most discrete, A choking gall and a preserving sweet." A pang of emotion constricts your chest as the words, all too true, echo in your mind. The Joker's deliberate underlining of these lines left no doubt as to what was on his mind.

A sense of conflict churned within you, your heart yearning for the Joker, yet your mind plagued by the knowledge of what he truly was. You were torn between the desire to let him in and the fear of what that would mean for your own sanity. As you grappled with these emotions, a different part of you seemed to stir, a dark force within clawing to take hold.

"I've been waiting for you," his voice was a low, gravelly whisper that sent a shiver down your spine. The shadows seemed to play hide-and-seek on his face, his features shifting in and out of focus as he took a step forward.

It was strange, the lack of fear you felt in the presence of the Joker. He was known as a homicidal maniac, dangerous and unpredictable, yet there was an odd comfort in his presence. Perhaps it was familiarity, or perhaps something deeper, something you weren't ready to acknowledge.

You broke the silence with a question, your voice tinged with curiosity. "What are you doing here?" you asked, trying to make sense of his presence.

The Joker tilted his head slightly, a smirk playing on his lips as he took another step closer. His gaze was intense as he said, "Can't a guy pay a late-night visit to his favorite girl?"

The Joker took another step forward, his gaze falling on the faint bruises on your arms. Concern etched across his features as he trailed them with his fingers, his brow furrowed. "Who did this to you?" he asked, his voice a mixture of anger and protectiveness.

You tried to brush it off, wanting to downplay the situation, but the Joker's gaze didn't waver. "It's nothing," you said, attempting to appear unbothered. The Joker's eyes narrowed, a hint of disbelief in his gaze as he gently took your arm, inspecting the bruises more closely. "Nothing?" he repeated, his tone tinged with suspicion, "Those are fingerprints. Someone grabbed you."

You push his hands away, a hint of defiance in your actions. "What do you care?" you demand, your words laced with a mix of defiance and vulnerability.

The Joker's expression darkened slightly as you pushed his hands away, a flash of anger crossing his usually playful features. "What do I care?" he echoed, a hint of mockery in his voice, "I care because you're mine."

You release a heavy sigh, succumbing to a wave of frustration and anger. "But I can’t be yours!" you exclaim, the words tinged with a hint of resignation and desire.

The Joker's expression softened as you vented your frustrations. He understood your internal conflict, the tug of war between your heart and your rational thoughts. Yet, his possessive nature wouldn't let him concede so easily. With a smirk, he leaned closer, his voice taking on a possessive quality, "But you are, whether you want to admit it or not."

The internal struggle was written on your face, your hands raking through your hair as you attempted to grapple with the complexities of your emotions. The Joker observed you intently, his smirk replaced by a more contemplative expression as if he was trying to decipher the thoughts racing through your mind.

The Joker's strong arms encircled you from behind, his grip firm yet gentle. He pulled you against his chest, his chin resting on your shoulder as he inhaled deeply, savoring your scent. The gesture was possessive and comforting all at once, his hold a subtle claim of ownership.

"You can fight it all you want," he murmured, his breath hot against your ear, "but you belong to me." His words were both a warning and a promise, a reminder that resistance was futile.

You leaned into his warmth and a wave of conflicting emotions washed over you. Your brain was sending off alarms, warning you to stop, to maintain some distance, to preserve your sanity. But the allure of his embrace was intoxicating, making it difficult to heed those warnings. The Joker's arms tightened slightly around you, a possessive grip that simultaneously grounded you and stirred something dark within you.

The Joker leaned closer, his lips brushing against your ear as whispered, "You were doing so well. What's holding you back now?" His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning and anticipation. He knew the power he held over you, the conflict that raged within your heart. Yet, he couldn't help but push, to test the bounds of your resistance.

The Joker's arms continued to wander over your body, feeling the rise and fall of your chest with every breath. His touch was possessive but still gentle. You spoke softly, "I'm scared." He smirked slightly, his breath warm against your skin. "Scared of what?" he teased, his voice low.

You speak from the depths of your heart, your words are honest and raw. "I’m scared of the ones I could lose if I choose you," you confess, your vulnerability on full display. You’re terrified of the possibility of losing the connection you have with Bruce, but deep down, you know he wouldn’t understand your feelings for the Joker.

Your words hung heavily in the air. The Joker's eyes darkened slightly as he took in your heartfelt confession. He could sense the depth of your emotions and the conflicting loyalties playing within you. "You don’t need anyone but me.”

The Joker's grip on you tightened a possessive gesture that was both comforting and slightly intimidating. He leaned closer, his lips ghosting over the curve of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "I can give you everything you need."

The way he held you, the certainty in his words, made you believe - if just for a moment - that he could fill all the voids, that his presence was the only thing you truly needed. As the Joker's fingers traced patterns on your skin, you found yourself becoming lost in the moment, forgetting everything else but the sensation of his touch.

The sound of his voice, low and mesmerizing, coupled with the feel of his lips on your neck, sent a wave of heat coursing through you. The words he whispered, quoting Shakespeare, "Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs..." only heightened the intensity of the moment. You felt his breath against your skin as he continued, the words sinking into you like a melodic poison.

As you turned to face him, his gaze met yours, deep and intense. His eyes seemed to hold a mixture of desire and something darker, a hunger that went beyond physical need. The moment was electric, the air between you thick with tension and unspoken words.

With a sudden burst of emotion, you quickly latch onto him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pulling his face close to yours. Your lips meet his with a force that takes the Joker by surprise, but he quickly melts into the kiss, his body pressing firmly against yours.

The sensation of your tongue tracing along the dip of his scar elicits a shiver from the Joker. His body tenses, his grip on you tightening involuntarily. The scar is a constant reminder of the pain and suffering he had endured, and yet, under your touch, it seems to transform into a beautiful vulnerability, a hidden pleasure. The Joker lets out a soft growl, his mask of composure momentarily slipping.

A smirk curls across his lips as you push his coat to the floor, exposing the lean, muscled body beneath. He lets his arms fall to his sides, allowing you full access to his body, a gesture of surrender. His gaze never leaves your face, his eyes dark with desire as he watches your every move.

Your nimble fingers quickly work the buttons on his vest and shirt, exposing more and more of his bare skin to your gaze. The Joker stands before you, his chest rising and falling with every breath, his gaze locked on yours as he waits for you to continue. He can feel your eyes roaming over him, devouring the sight, and it makes his blood run hot with desire.

With a sudden move, the Joker gently pushes you back onto your bed, his powerful frame looming over you. His hands roamed your body, his touch rough and possessive. He grabbed your breasts through your shirt, squeezing and kneading them, his thumbs rubbing over your hardening nipples. You gasped, the sensation both painful and arousing, and he took advantage of your momentary weakness, pushing you back towards the bed.

You stumbled, landing on the soft mattress and sheets, and he loomed over you, his eyes burning with desire. He tore at your clothes, ripping your shirt open, exposing your bra and the soft skin beneath. His fingers traced the outline of your bra, and with a swift motion, he tore it, baring your breasts to his hungry gaze.

He leaned down, his mouth capturing one taut nipple, sucking and biting gently at first, then harder as your breath quickened. His free hand slid down your body, slipping beneath the waistband of your pants, his fingers brushing against your wetness.

“Oh, doll, You're dripping for me. You need me that bad?” His fingers plunged into your core, and you cried out, your body arching off the couch. He was right; you were soaking wet, your body betraying your mind's resistance. He added another finger, stretching you, and you couldn't hold back the moans of pleasure that escaped your lips.

“That's it, let go.” I'll make you feel so good, baby.”As he spoke, he positioned himself between your thighs, his hard length pressing against your entrance. You felt the tip of his cock, slick with your arousal, nudging at your sensitive flesh, and despite your better judgment, you wanted him inside you.

With one swift thrust, he buried himself deep within you, filling you completely. You cried out, your body trembling as he began to move, his hips slamming into yours with relentless force. The bed frame creaked with each powerful thrust, and you clung to him, your nails digging into his back as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you.

Joker’s pace quickened, his breath coming in harsh gasps. He leaned down, his lips finding yours again, kissing you deeply as he pounded into you. You could feel his muscles tensing, and you knew he was close to the edge.

“Cum for me. Let me feel you.” His words were like a spell, and you surrendered to the building orgasm, your body convulsing around his as you climaxed. He followed soon after, pulling his cock out and painting your stomach as his body shudders with release.

As your heart rate slowed and your breathing returned to normal, Joker collapsed onto the bed beside you, his chest heaving. He turned to look at you, his face paint smeared from the exertion, and his eyes held a mixture of satisfaction and something darker, something possessive.

“No one will ever make you feel alive like I do.” You shivered, both from the aftershocks of pleasure and the chilling realization of what you’d just done. You’d just damned yourself, and you didn’t feel anything but pleasure.

[vasilisk-vp]

⚠️ CW EYE STRAIN ⚠️ CW AMPUTATION ⚠️ CW BLOOD⚠️

im in my hlvrai era B-)

[panini-legs]

Brain gone. *POOF*

Here are sum Benrey drawingz 2 fill da void :))

[fallmutual]

hlvrai live action official cast!! (big long transcript under the cut)

[Start Transcript:

Holly: gamer212000 in chat asks, “Half-Life 2 VR But The AI Is Self Aware when?” Uh, didn’t’cha hear? They announced they were doing that in 2027.

Wayne: We’re doing the first one again.

Mike: We got actors this time.

Wayne: Yeah, we paid some actors. (laughs)

Holly: Yeah, we’re hiring, uh…uh…

Wayne: That’s actually a great idea for a bit.

Holly: Donald Glover.

Wayne: We’ve joked about doing like, let’s just do a stream where we do Half-Life VR again, like we just— We, we like, transcribe everything we said into a script, and we like, re-perform it, uh, and see how that goes. But let’s just pay some people that aren’t us to be in it, and see how that goes.

Mike: Live theater adaptation.

Wayne: We’re GOING HOME!

Holly: I wish that I knew— I wish that I knew anyone famous enough that would be down to do that.

Wayne (reading chat): “That sounds awful”? Yeah it does, and you would watch it.

Mike: (laughs)

Wayne: All of you would watch it.

Holly: (laughs)

Wayne: I don’t even need to ask you, I know you would. (laughs)

Wayne (reading chat): Yuri Lowenthal? Aw, man. That’d be awesome.

Mike: It’d be fucked up. As Gordon?? (laughs)

Mike (cut off): —yeah.

Holly: Who’s the guy who voices everyone in Dota 2?

Holly: Nolan North! Nolan North.

Wayne: Nolan North, yeah.

Holly: Nolan North will play, uh, Bubby.

Wayne: (laughs)

Mike: (laughs)



Holly: Uh, and…and Jennifer Hale will play Dr. Coomer.

Holly: We should get Lance Reddick to play Benrey.

Scorpy: (laughs) I’m seeing a lot of people say Adam Sandler.

Mike: (laughing) As Benny???

Wayne: (laughs)

Holly: No nononononono no. No no no. No! We just said—

Wayne: No, they’re just saying Adam.

Holly: —Lance Reddick is Benny.

Mike: Lance Reddick is Benny.

Holly: Adam Sandler would be like, I dunno, the VOX or something.

Wayne (imitating Reddick): Gordon, I require passports.

Holly (imitating Reddick): Mr. Freeman, I’m going to need to see your passport.

Wayne (imitating): Mr. Freeman, I’m going to need at least 200 Crucible Coins immediately.

Holly (imitating): Gordon, come home with me tonight and we’ll play Heavenly Sword.

Wayne: (laughs)

Baaulp: I want Gilbert Gottfried as Tommy.

Holly & Scorpy: (laugh)

Mike: Your call.

Holly (imitating Gottfried): I got a desk drawer full of Tic Tacs!

Wayne: (laughs)

Holly: (laughs)



Wayne (imitating Reddick): Gordon, you need to stop playing Gambit right now.

Holly: (wheezing laughter)

Wayne (imitating Todd Haberkorn): Howdy, sistah, we can use ropes!

Holly: Fuuuck.

Wayne: We get Todd Haberkorn.

Holly: Which famous actor would we pay to play Sunkist? The dog. The JPEG of a dog.

Baaulp: Vin Diesel.

Wayne: Yeah, we get Vin Diesel to play with the Wowozela.

Scorpy: (vocalizing)



Mike: Vin Diesel’s already in it, he appears!

Holly: Right, yeah, in the credits we straight-up have real Vin Diesel.

Wayne: We need someone to play Vin Diesel. We need another celebrity to play Vin Diesel.

Baaulp: He’s got— He’s gonna use all that Groot— He’s gonna— He’s got all that Groot experience.

Holly: Okay, so, we get Vin Diesel to play the dog, and we get Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to play Vin Diesel.

Mike: Okay.

Scorpy: That works.

Holly: (laughs)

Wayne: Where is my dog?

Mike: I’m googling “G-Man Half-Life movie” to see what the people think.

Holly: Uh, Don— Donald Glover.

Wayne: Usually my dog would be pissing in this field…

Scorpy: I want— I want Steve Harvey somewhere.

Holly: Steve Harvey can play…the, the marine guy, the soldier guy.

Scorpy: You’ve been a bad, bad, bad, bad boy.

Mike, Wayne, & Holly: (laugh)

End Transcript]