#goodest boi is just as deserving of mercy

[fluffypichu876]

oh sif... rest in peace goodest boi

[lunanoc]

xiaoge (and liu sang if you want to) for the ask meme 👀

sorry for the late reply that I’m writing while procrastinating on other things but thank you for asking! <3

Xiaoge 

My first impression

I honestly can’t remember all that well because it was such a long time ago, but when I first discovered Daomu Biji, it was through PingXie clips on twitter from Ultimate Note, and because I had nothing to do and found them cute I ended up finding a carrd where someone gave a barebones rundown of what you had to know to not be extremely confused if you wanted to watch it. The way Xiaoge was described in it and his initial appearance in Ultimate Note made me think he was the quiet warrior stereotype that felt a lot of things strongly but just didn’t express them openly, a lot introverted and a little lost in a lost puppy kind of way

My impression now

Xiaoge to me now is multifaceted in ways I feel deserve their own separate post, but I’m going to tl;dr it as in some ways, I feel like he’s almost a subversion of the stereotypes he’s presented as. So much of Xiaoge’s character arc both in the present timeline and in past events is about his dehumanization, but that dehumanization isn’t purely about the ways others treat him, it’s also in the way he himself has become “other”. The Three Days of Silence extra goes into this the most explicitly, but the llama at the temple wants Xiaoge to carve a statue out of a stone by infusing emotion into it because he feels that “no man is a stone”, that is it say that no human being is without emotion, and only by proving that he can feel can Xiaoge prove that he’s human. But the problem is that by that point Xiaoge, both by circumstance and by design, to all intents and purposes has become a stone in some respects in terms of his distance to people on a personal level. It’s not an accident that Wu Xie often compares him to a god or to Buddha with no passions or desires of his own, because it’s what he’s been made to be, and his indifference, that’s a defining character trait, isn’t feigned. It’s genuine.

So Xiaoge’s character development very much revolves around breaking free from his identity as a tool and as something almost akin to a bodhisattva to obtain his own identity as a human being that can connect with others.

It’s more complicated than that and I’m generalizing, but I feel that Xiaoge is someone who’s inherently merciful and kind, but is also generally speaking not invested in most people on a personal level, mostly because forming a connection with anyone is an exercise in futility, both because Xiaoge’s life experience and what “fate” has imposed on him make it difficult for people to relate to or understand him, and also because that distance means most people will inevitably only want to use him. But he does care about the people who’ve successfully forged a connection with him, he just shows it through actions, not words. Is he also a little awkward in interpersonal relationships sometimes? Yeah that too

Favorite thing about that character

Probably the fact that despite everything he’s gone through he’s Daomu Biji’s goodest boy. He’s kind in a completely uninterested way. That and how much of a troll he is that’s the Zhang in him coming out

Least favorite thing

Maybe that he’s so flippant about his own well-being and bodily comfort. He tends to view himself as an extension of a purpose and is in general very pragmatic, but because of how removed from people and humanity he is, it means he doesn’t really take himself into consideration much over the people he cares about. There a bit in the Fishing King extra where he slashes his own hand open and when Wu Xie later realizes it, he asks Xiaoge if it hurts, and he replies that it doesn’t. And Wu Xie doesn’t comment on it, but his overall internal thought process is a bitter “of course it doesn’t hurt”

Favorite line/scene

Trying to pick a scene that’s about him specifically and honestly the entirety of the stories about when he’s doing his release into the wild during the Tibetan Sea Flower flashbacks. Jaded and ruthless baby, but even before he was ever Zhang Qiling he was still more humane than everyone around him despite having been used as a disposable blood bag by his own family

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Everyone’s expecting the “If I disappeared no would notice” scene with Wu Xie but you know what I’m gonna go with something else even if that scene is up there.

In the Fishing King extra when Wu Xie goes to fist bump him because they beat Pangzi at rock paper scissors and Xiaoge doesn’t understand so they stare at each other awkwardly and he ends up covering Wu Xie’s fist with his hand like ‘paper’ my heart

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

To be honest Xiao Hua or Huo Xiuxiu? You don’t ser much of those three in the same room but I imagine Xiaoge and Xiao Hua would be a very efficient, pragmatic and silent duo

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Not entirely because I don’t think I know any character that’s exactly like Xiaoge, but a little bit Shenhe from Genshin. Emotionally restrained to the point of lack of emotion but by design, mistreated as a child, also a little bit of a troll and straightforward when confronted with people with bad intentions. Also very combat efficient.

A headcanon about that character

I don’t know if I have a really big one besides I like the headcanon that Xiaoge is ace or demisexual? I have a hard time picturing him having had any kind of romantic relationships and to be honest even casual sex doesn’t feel likely to me just because even that requires having some form of interest in the other party which Xiaoge doesn’t ever really seem to have. But who knows what he might have had to do out of necessity or if there were people he’s forgotten

A song that reminds me of that character

This is really hard but I haven’t found anything more fitting than ‘The Ghost on the Shore’ by Lord Huron

An unpopular opinion about that character

I had to think about this a little but if I had to pick something it might be the fanon perception of Xiaoge as a ‘feral cat’ that Wu Xie and/or others have ‘domesticated’. Part of it is personal interpretation, because I feel like he’s hardly feral considering outside of crisis situations he’s probably one of the most chill characters in Daomu Biji. But it also feels… I don’t know dismissive? To be calling him that when Xiaoge being out of touch with most people on a personally involved or intimate level is the fruit of so many things outside of his control he’s been subjected to. He���s spent the better part of his life being subject to the whims of an unnamed entity that uses him as it sees fit for an agenda the reader only knows exists let alone what it entails. He’s seen people at their most vile, been used by people in the most vile ways, and that mixed with his sense of duty as Zhang Qiling and his age (though he was already jaded even as a teenager before he was ever made into Zhang Qiling) has made him into someone who wanders the world without any real connection to the people in it. For a very long time Xiaoge just ‘existed’ in the most literal sense, and just because as a result of that he doesn’t care about social niceties (why would you care about face and other people’s attempts to maintain the façade of it in a cutthroat business like tomb robbing?) or knows or cares how to maintain relationships doesn’t make him ‘feral’.

Plus calling him ‘domesticated’ veers a little too much into dehumanizing him as if he’s some animal Wu Xie (or someone else) tamed and that answers to his beck and call. As if the entire point of Xiaoge’s story arc isn’t that Wu Xie is the first person he can remember who ever persisted in forging a connection with Xiaoge until Xiaoge was forced to realize he cared and felt a connection with another human being. As if the conclusion of that wasn’t him making a gamble on Wu Xie’s sincerity that he would come and pick him up in ten year’s time, as if Xiaoge choosing to stay in Yucun with him and Pangzi isn’t Xiaoge reciprocating that sincerity with his own, making an active choice to stay and call somewhere ‘home’ for the first time in his life.

I might be looking at this too deeply but it rubs me the wrong way

Favorite picture

Hard so I’m not picking absolute favorites just ones I like. For book Xiaoge I like versions of him that look similar to this:

(Source)

And for drama Xiaoge there’s so many good shots of all the versions of him, so looking at the most recent version of him in the Misty Creed movie, this one shot is 10/10:

(Screenshot courtesy of @shaish)

Liu Sang

Disclaimer: Since this is tagged, apologies in advance to Liu Sang fans. I’ve tried to be as reasonable as possible about my opinions, but that being said be warned I don’t like him, so if you'd rather not see any negativity about him, feel free to skip

My first impression

My introduction to Liu Sang was through fandom, both fanon, fanfic, and discussions about him that I’d seen/read before I ever watched Reboot, since I started with the dramas. From how people talked about him I was pretty hyped about him I’m not gonna lie, and I definitely got the feeling he was an important character, so seeing how loved he was, I was looking forward to seeing him for the first time in canon.

Then once I started watching Reboot my first impression kind of yoyo-ed around. There was a little whiplash from the gap between how fandom presented him vs. how he acted at the beginning of Reboot towards Wu Xie and Pangzi especially, but I figured given people liked him he probably got better. And to be fair he did! On my first full watchthrough of Reboot I ended up feeling pretty neutral about him, not in a negative sense, but more like how I tend to view most of the more minor characters (like Xiao Bai for example since we’re talking about Reboot). I appreciated he got character development and was left with a general “yeah he’s alright” impression

My impression now

Full disclaimer, I’ve only read half of Restart the book so far, so I can’t fully talk about book Liu Sang beyond his appearances in the South Sea King’s tomb and the immediate aftermath of that. I can talk more about Reboot the drama Liu Sang though.

The problem with my general impression of Liu Sang now is that it’s very polluted by my interactions with his fans. I won’t get too much into that because this is supposed to be about Liu Sang the character and not the Liu Sang fandom (because yes there absolutely is a Liu Sang fandom that exists as a subset of the Daomu Biji fandom), but to keep it short, the version of Liu Sang that I find is pushed forward a lot by his fans is a version that doesn’t correspond to either the drama or book version of him, and is instead heavily steeped in widely accepted fanon to the point it’s almost a different character sometimes. And that widely accepted fanon version is something that his fans have the unfortunate habit of being very pushy and single-minded about, and it’s caused a number of issues and rifts within the wider Daomu Biji fandom.

Keep in mind this is all my personal feelings and doesn’t necessarily reflect on every single person who likes Liu Sang as a character, but to get back to the point, it means that my overall impression of Liu Sang now is a pretty negative one. Full transparency (if it wasn’t already obvious) I don’t like him, and while I do find what I’ve seen of the book version of him has the potential to interesting, and I can absolutely appreciate that, not to mention the genuine character arc he gets in the drama, because of how his fans act about him, he’ll never be a favorite 

Favorite thing about that character

In the book so far what I find most interesting about Liu Sang is the ambiguity of his past and of his intentions. He’s initially presented in a way that’s puzzling in hindsight, and while part of that I think you can put down to Restart being a weird time for Wu Xie in general, there’s little clues that makes you wonder what his deal is and that his role in the story might be more than meets the eye.

He’s introduced as a consultant Wu Erbai trusts the competence of, and Pangzi is immediately incensed by him in ways that are almost uncharacteristic. Because Pangzi (in the books at least), is someone who regularly puts up a loud front and throws jibes at people when he doesn’t trust them in a way that’s both testing but not too aggressive to instigate a conflict unless the other party is openly hostile. But with Liu Sang he’s immediately, and to Wu Xie without apparent reason, extremely hostile and vitriolic. You learn later that Pangzi has heard sinister rumors about Liu Sang, and you infer from there the vitriol is coming from Pangzi wanting to keep someone potentially nefarious and ill-intentioned to a sadistic degree away from his friends. But you also later see him again when he listens to thunder at the beach in front of the guesthouse Wu Xie and co. are staying in, and Wu Xie’s observations give you the impression there’s something deeper going on. In Wu Xie’s words, he doesn’t like him, but he’s intrigued by what he represents (and not gonna lie I am too)

Least favorite thing

Besides the egregious fanon version of him I’m not touching on because it’s not actually canon, ironically I find early drama Liu Sang to be worse than early book Liu Sang. To be fair I don’t know how he evolves in the book, but in that Liu Sang is more focused on his job, and apart from his one iffy moment in the car where he’s constantly trying to snap pictures of Xiaoge without his consent (to which both Wu Xie and Pangzi react with variations of yelling and kicking his seat in), he’s really not doing anything questionable, unless you count being in on Wu Erbai’s test as questionable. Drama Liu Sang however by this point not only throws jibes around at both Wu Xie and Pangzi, but uses Wu Xie’s terminal illness as a leverage point to mock him and almost gets Wu Xie and Pangzi killed because he thought it was funny. Which is honestly at odds with his book character that’s actually very professional, because none of that is professional

Favorite line/scene

Uhhh I don’t know that I have any? Maybe the part in Restart where he walks out into the thunderstorm to listen to the thunder and Wu Xie watches him until it triggers a moment of self-reflection. It’s not really about Liu Sang so much as it’s about Wu Xie and his headspace, but it’s a meaningful scene

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Ok I’m not gonna lie that one moment in the Reboot drama where Liu Sang tells Xiaoge he’s his biggest fan and Xiaoge of all people takes a moment to emote because he’s that confused and baffled by the direction the interaction is taking is hilarious

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

Maybe Xiao Bai? I haven’t seen them meet in the book, but arguably in both that and the drama especially both Liu Sang and Xiao Bai are mirrors of each other in terms of what they represent in relation to Xiaoge and Wu Xie respectively. Plus their interactions in the drama were wholesome

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

I can’t think of one to be completely honest

A headcanon about that character

I’m going to call this headcanon for now since I’m not done Restart the book so I can’t be sure, but I like the idea of book Liu Sang just being an ornery bastard with his own nebulous agenda. Let the man be a bastard! Bastards can be interesting too! 

A song that reminds me of that character

I honestly can’t think of one right now

An unpopular opinion about that character

I could probably go into this for a hot minute but everything surrounding the sanitized fanon version of Liu Sang that’s both in my opinion inaccurate (despite being presented as accurate) and absolutely in your face unless you take extreme pains to block out pretty much everything to do with him. To be clear, what people like is their business, but unpopular opinions aren’t called that for nothing, and this entire post is meant to be about my feelings, not objective facts.

That being said, fanon Liu Sang to me is woobified to a level that completely erases any traces of his actual character to cater to a very specific view of him that’s as far as I can tell made to be palatable. His fans make a concentrated effort of pushing forward, in my experience sometimes aggressively, what’s essentially a sanitized version of him that glosses over or deliberately erases any unsavory aspects of his character.

Which to be clear I have no problems with, most of if not all the characters in Daomu Biji are fundamentally imperfect and flawed, some to the point where other less niche (in western fandom spaces anyway) fandoms would label them as ‘problematic’. It contributes to making the characters complex and more human in my opinion. Which is why it’s kind of sad that Liu Sang has been reduced to being the fandom’s (or part of the fandom’s) ‘poor little meow meow’ who’s suddenly inherently likable.

Again, if you like that then that’s your business. The only reason I have strong feelings about this in the first place is because Liu Sang fans have, in my experience, the bad habit of shoehorning that version of him into everything, and by that I mean to the point of encroaching on other people’s lanes in ways that are incredibly tone deaf. It also feeds into the general problem the Daomu Biji fandom as a whole has of assuming that everyone is ok with anything and everything, and doesn’t believe in personal boundaries. But anyway, the point here is that I don’t like fanon Liu Sang, and the only reason I’m talking about him is because of this ask

Favorite picture

I also don’t really have one

[basket-of-cats-and-witches]

A Distant Dream

Introducing Vesruun! My half-eladrin half-human cleric, my oblivious too-trusting goodest boi. So to speak. 

Content Warnings for this include: Death, Violence (but not graphically spoken of), and Disease (specifically: Consumption.) Also Poverty. I’m covering all the sad stuff today, folks.

It had all been like a pleasant dream. The son of an escort, living in the Beggar’s Nest, being courted by a handsome sailor? He had been so cautious, at first. Life in the Nest had taught him to be wary of beautiful faces and pretty words, life with his mother had taught him that sometimes an elegant mask hid an angry fist. And yet… And yet Carys had been so kind. A sailor that while beautiful, stuttered the moment he met Ves’s eyes. Who had held out a slightly wilted flower with a shaking hand, as if Vesruun was out of his league. A tall, strong, man who shook like a leaf when he was nervous and blushed deeper than the shade of the reddest rose. Who wouldn’t fall in love? Their courtship had been heady and sweet, fingers tangled as Ves whispered his goodbyes, lips meeting oh-so-gently before Carys would leave for yet another voyage, sometimes for months at a time. It made their reunion all the better.

Their wedding was small. Only Vesruun’s mother, and Carys’s fellow sailors. His ship captain wedded them. Priests were too expensive, and Ves’s mother had already helped them pay for simple wedding rings. Neither one of them would have had it any other way. And as Ves’s mother had placed a wreath of forget-me-nots and baby’s breath upon his pale curls, flowers carefully picked from a meadow outside of Neverwinter, the pride and joy in her suspiciously watery eyes made his own tear up all the more. “My son,” she had whispered. “I’m so glad you get to have the dream I never could. I’m so happy for you. Corellon’s blessing to you both.” She had kissed his eyelids, one after the other, in the way of her people. A blessing from the Feywild itself. Then, Carys had swept him off his feet and carried him off to their home. It was the last moment of bliss Vesruun remembered. Like a beautiful sunset, that dream had vanished below the horizon. And with it, brought the night. And the nightmare. The coughing had started while they slept. They had only been married six months, and Carys had just returned home from a four-month-long journey. It seemed like nothing, something Carys assured him was “just a cold” he had picked up during a brief docking at a foreign port. Then the chest pains started. Finally, the blood. Vesruun watched in horror as his husband lost the color in his skin, seemingly beginning to waste away before his eyes. He kept losing weight, and spent most of his time consumed by fever. They couldn’t afford a healer. Still, Vesruun tried. After the twelfth time of being tossed out of a clinic on his backside, a man had approached him. “Fever, eh? Coughing, blood? I know a cure. But it’ll cost you.” Vesruun agreed, without hesitation. Anything, to keep Carys alive. The work had been simple, at first. Listen in on a few conversations, report back. Then, escalating. Vesruun had been caught a few times, and that’s when his ‘employers’ learned of his strength, his resilience. He was put to becoming a bullyboy, going to people’s homes and threatening them to pay their part for protection. It made him sick to think about, his stomach twisting up in knots. But every time he went home to Carys, to watch one of his employers’ healers by his husband’s side, his resolve firmed. He told no one. In Carys’ rare moments of lucidity, he was told that the healer was there as a favor to a friend. A month later, Vesruun took down someone who had nearly succeeded in killing his boss. He was gifted with a pair of gold-washed knuckles, and given the nickname “The Golden Fist.” Time passed, and Vesruun rose up the ranks. Carys never seemed to get better, but he never got worse. The work became easier to bear, even as Vesruun felt something inside him begin to break. Late that spring, his mother was attacked by a spiteful client, in a rage that she would dare offer her services to anyone else. The acid that had been thrown at her marred her face and permanently destroyed her voice. It was this that brought Carys home, after a month of being away in Baldur’s Gate. He had served as his boss’s personal bodyguard in a meeting, and the news had brought him running home. The money he had made was barely enough to get her submitted to a women’s clinic, where he was not allowed entry. So instead, he went home. And the sight there was one no mortal should ever have to see. The healer assigned to his beloved was passed out drunk in a chair as he had entered the doorway, heading up the rickety flight of stairs. Something smelled rotten. A horrendous smell, like the healer had left meat out in the sun for days on end. And as he reached the top, he understood why. Carys was no longer. And as Vesruun had long-since gotten used to seeing corpses in all sorts of states, he knew that his beloved had been gone for quite some time. Time was unknown to him, after that. A blur of rage, strange flickering memories of faces twisted in horror, in terror. The screams echoed in his ears. The Golden Fist was now soaked in red. At some point, he remembered being arrested, but it hardly mattered. The work was done. There had been no cure. And his employers had paid the final price for their deception. His jailors spoke of there being a choice- death or repentance under the service of a god. He ignored them, his life was at an end. And then, the priest. A man not in robes, per se, but in monk’s clothing, his hands bandaged, his skin heavily scarred, had crouched before the broken Ves, only the cell bars separating them. Vesruun had not been able to see his face from his crouched position, only the man’s holy symbol. Two white hands, bound with a red cord. Vesruun was not an educated person, he couldn’t read, could barely write. He didn’t know many gods outside of Corellon and Selune, the deities his mother prayed to. He had certainly not known this one. “Are you Vesruun?” The man had said, his voice whisper-quiet. There had been no response. “Vesruun Kaz?” Still, nothing. The man had sighed. “Vesruun, I am a priest of Ilmater. I am here to give you your final rites before your execution. Are there any last requests?” Ves had laughed hollowly, then, surprising the priest. “Whatever pit they threw my husband into, throw me in beside him and light it on fire.” “I’m afraid that can’t be done,” the man said. “As you see, your husband has been laid to rest in a proper graveyard, with a headstone to mark his name.” Startled, Vesruun had looked up. His pale eyes, nearly colorless, met the man’s own. “A headstone? In a graveyard?” He exclaimed. “Where- who- No one I know has the money for that!” The priest shook his head. “No need. All souls deserve to have a final resting place. He has been taken care of.” “But…” There was a note of disbelief. “Priests require a fee, and then there is the death tax…” The priest shook his head. “People who ask for money from the impoverished, the faultless, those who were born into such situations, who were thrown into a position without power against their will...they are despicable.” He sounded disgusted, almost enraged. “You cannot help it when the odds are stacked against you, no? Your husband will be at rest in a proper grave. With all the rites he is afforded.” Hearing the truth that rang in the priest’s words, Vesruun had felt something in his heart lighten, a broken heart with the possibility to mend. “Can I…” he swallowed shakily. “Would someone as horrible as me be able to do what you do?” The priest’s expression warmed, as he looked over the prisoner. He took note of the hopeful expression echoing out of hollow eyes, like someone who had found a lifeline after years of being adrift at sea. He glanced over. “Jailor! Release this man into my custody. I have found an acolyte of Ilmater, and by law, he is mine to claim.” The priest looked back at Vesruun. “I am Galter, child. I welcome you into Ilmater’s merciful arms.” As they walked up the stairs, out of the cell, Vesruun wondered if he was finally leaving the nightmare. He walked into the early morning light, the priest by his side. Into the dawn. And his pale hair glowed like a brilliant halo.

[houseofslash]

First Time Watching...Jennifer’s Body (2009)

Tonight we embraced the fact that we are both bisexual and helplessly in love with Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox and watched Jennifer’s Body. As the title suggests, it was Hope’s first time seeing the film so...

Hope’s Thoughts:

gheeyyyyyyyy

listen, chip absolutely deserves to be on the list of Goodest Bois Ever but

oh my god, needy, you closeted lesbian, you. they would have been adorable gfs

gaslight-y moments aside, we love a demon with sick snarky one-liners

jennifer!! deserved!! better!!

and so does megan fox, her acting is actually phenomenal

that first spooky bloody smile? hELLO?

amanda seyfriend has owned my ass since forever and forever will

here’s a sequel pitch: needy goes on a roadtrip to hunt down other nasty ritualistic-virgin-sacrificing motherfuckers ala supernatural, except she’s even prettier than jensen ackles

i wish jennifier did show up to the dance (assuming the low shoulder dudes all thought she was dead) so we could have watched them Lose Their Shit and face some actual repercussions before being slaughtered by needy

that’s my main issue, they didn’t suffer nearly long enough

needy, darling, you were too merciful

alternate ending/sequel idea: needy and jennifer (de-possessed somehow shshshsh) go hunting and track down the self-righteous little pricks

me, watching an entire movie about these ladies being gfs and slowly and meticulously psychologically torturing and then murdering the low shoulder dudes:

All I have to add is that we both, being very very much in love with Megan and Amanda, spent most of the movie just being like “Damn...damn.” -Liv

[vezinabuyck]

Pretty sure I know the answer but... Mark Scheifele 🥰

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY | BEST BOY GOODEST BOY WITH THE PRETTIEST FRICKIN EYES EVER!!!!

I made a new section for Scheifs cause he deserves it and the others just don’t do him justice🥰

send me a player

(but also GO TO SLEEEEEEP)

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

I just played ep 3 and you wanna know what things fucking ripped my heart out and fucking stomped on it and tried to shove it back in with scotch tape and glitter glue? SPOILERS, DUH.

*Also this might be the most in-depth and analytical thing I've done so... it's long.

A) When Louis picks up Minnie's crossbow and fucking accidentally shoots that woman and he's like "i..I didn't mean...fuck" or something like that. That fucking voice acting shredded me and I will never be over that. Louis, Louis of all people, the lighthearted jokester that just wants everyone to be happy was forced to shoot a woman in the skull! In one of the most grisly deaths in the season at that! Skybound can throw hands with me for that one. Also when Clem goes to get Aj Louis, even as broken and torn as he is at this point, he still tries to come with her. The best boy honestly.

B) Look, I know Lilly is the villian of this season. I'm fully aware of this. But she obviously still kinda cares about Clementine, as in ep 2 she said, and I quote "this SHOULD be easy." But it's not. It's not easy to shoot clem. But then she just fucking takes Aj? And then tries to strangle Clem on the side of the boat? And then when I mercied her and tried to let her live, she just???fucking kills James??? Like, I already didn't like James (I'm sorry James stans) but he didn't deserve that. And then the bomb goes off and we don't even get to Aj in time??? Like, 👊👊👊 throw hands.

C) When Aj talks about Clem getting bit and how he'd want her to bite him. Like, fucking James just had to say something. This boy is 6, maybe 7 at the absolute latest. He's impressionable, he learns from what he hears. You can't just tell him that walkers are still kinda human. If they had any shred of humanity left, they would not kill people. Especially those close to them, like Lee's brother tried to kill Lee when he was under that lamppost. Just fucking stop I'm crying.

D) LOUIS' STORY. If you did the Violet path and didn't hear Louis', basically he was rich. Like, filthy rich. But the only thing his dad wouldn't buy him was singing lessons. Louis got so mad at what his dad said to him, "You can either be happy or you can be rich," that he wanted to teach his dad a lesson. He started buying things on his dad's credit card that eluded to his dad having an affair (jewelry, hotel rooms, etc.) And when this worked, his parents got the divorce, he came clean. He told his dad "You can either be rich or you can be happy." A week later he was at the school. And just fucking??? How much his character has grown in the 8-9 apocalypse years??I'm so proud of him. Sure, younger Louis was a little shit, but he knows how fucked up what he did was. If you watch the scene, it's so....heartbreaking. like it's his biggest regret, even with all the Marlon shit thrown in. I love Violet with my whole heart, but I fucking love Louis' storyline.

E) VIOLET WHAT THE FUCK??? As I stated before, I love Violet. She's my favorite gay/gal in the whole apocalypse. But what the fuck? Like, you...I get it. I saved Louis instead of you, but wait a fucking minute I made it blatantly obvious that I love Louis (my son) and when you see me in the prison cell you're like "fuck you I'm staying here with my psychotic gf." Like??? I think the writers made a huge character mistake with that because there's no way Violet would have actually done that to me. Also especially after Minnie admits to killing Sophie, which I'll touch on later. Like, her character would NOT do that. Idgaf if she still loved Minnie or not, she'd be fucking pissed.

F) We have to talk about Minnie. Just....ugh. Props to telltale/skybound because holy fuck. That got me. That got me good. She just??? Is completely brainwashed by the delta and lilly? She killed her own sister, and despite me telling her what Tenn told me to she still locked me in the cell? Also she doesn't say one loving thing to Violet, who literally is willing to get herself blown up just to be with her. And when that woman tells her her family is the delta and to forget about Tenn she just fucking accepts it? Like??? Fuck off bitch?

G) Louis' date was the cutest shit

H) I'm sorry but at the party that first bio sounded a fuck ton like Marlon and Idc what anyone else says you cannot convince me that my love Ruby ever did such things.

I) I hate that the story is so compelling that, even after all she's fucking done, I still care about Lilly. I call this "the Kenny effect." We have history, and that matters a lot to me. Even if I don't agree with her ever, I still don't want her to die. (Like with the Kenny/Arvo thing) I see her as family, which is why in s1 I let her stay after she shot carley and in ep 2 of this season I told her we were family. I do care about Lilly, and then she just kills James??? Like, ugh. I wish she would just fucking stop and I could hug her and everything would be fine and Lee isn't actually dead and Christa and Molly and Kenny and everyone's alive and AAHHHHH.

J) The scene where Minnie has clem's knife against clem's chest and is pushing down is so fucking similar to the Kenny/Jane situation is s2. Minnie is Jane and Clem is Kenny, this time all of the kids from the school is clem. Both Minnie and Clem want them to be safe, but they have very different ideas on how they'll be safe. Clem wants to protect them at all costs, and Minnie wants to protect them by getting rid of clem. (Like how Jane wanted to get rid of kenny) I'm crying in the club.

K) James fucking making me walk in the barn full of walkers to touch the wind chime. I was literally so anxious during this and I knew that it's a game but just??? That would have been a pointless death.

L) ABEL. NO! Look I don't like this guy as much as the rest of ya'll, but they way he just breaks down??? I refused to torture him, and I put out his cigarette. He begs to be killed because he doesn't want to turn. This is so visceral and raw that I almost cried when my knife went through his head. Then the screen thing told me I tortured him in front of Aj?? Hello? When did I do that??? I gave him mercy, I gave him peace.

M) Louis toasting to the fact that he thinks he's gonna die at the boat just fucking destroys me.

N) Rosie is the goodest girl and didn't get enough screen time.

O) Louis helping clem up when she gets pulled under water by a walker is cleansing for my soul

P) Omar and Aasim got like 4 lines between them and that's fucking breaking the law

Q) I literally only found 1 collectible where the fuck where they all???

R) I was legitimately going to not kill any of the walkers when James was getting his mask, but I honest to God kept dying over and over so I literally had to kill one of them.

S) the fact that James kept bringing up how much of a heartless bitch I am for not caring about dead people that are walking and killing the living and everyone I've ever cared about.

T) The sheer genuis of the dialogue option that asks James if he knows the names of the walkers and he's confused and clem is just like "Omar, Aasim...Violet." like, he doesn't know the walkers. They're killing machines that he has no attachment to. Clem's friends are alive, and she cares about them deeply. Like fuck off m8.

U) Aj is so broken and confused and scared I don't know how to fix him he's a murderer but he's trying to atone and I just hope to God Lee would actually be proud of Clem and I just wish he was alive and Clem and Aj and him were a family and he could meet the boarding school kids at then Louis would learn about history, something I hc him as never being good at in school, and Louis teaches him how to play the piano and he teaches Violet how to actually map the stars and she teaches him all the fighting skills she's learned and Lee takes a liking to Tenn and makes sure to thank Omar for cooking and appreciates willy and mitch and what they do and supports and learns medicine from ruby and stops Aj from killing Marlon and talks him through the bad shit and helps him atone for his sins and then he meets Rosie and when he sees Lilly again she stops being a hateful cunt and we kill all the delta people and go back to the school and everyone, including mitch and James and Minerva and Sophie is alive and this is getting way to long aahhhh.

V) When Louis is freaking out about the responsibility of planting the bomb, and it gives you to either slap him or kiss him and that's the fucking cutest shit

W) the fact that it never let's me hug Tenn or Willy, nor have a funeral for Mitch. Like I know we were crunched for time, but it would've taken 10 minutes tops.

X) to my knowledge, Tenn and Menerva never see eachother. Maybe she would have changed if she saw him? I don't know...

Y) I don't have the option to cuddle with Rosie and that's an actual crime.

Z) When the kids are talking about all the people they've lost. 34 people. 34. We've lost a lot, don't get me wrong, but I don't think it's 34. It might be close, but some of those people we weren't close to nor knew for very long. Also the fact that they've lost 34 but only have like 5 graves. Wtf?

*) AND THE BIGGEST THING THAT TORE MY HEART INTO PRICES WAS THE LEE SCENE, AND THE DIALOGUE OPTION OF TELLING LEE HE'S NOT REAL AND HE TELLS CLEM THAT IT'S OKAY TO BE A LITTLE NUTS AND THEN THE HUG AND THE "LOOK AT YOU..." FROM LEE AND AAAHHHH I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.

*Edit: I'm not saying I love Lilly as much as I do Kenny, I could never like her that much, even if she had a change of heart and died protecting clem or Aj. I'm saying "the Kenny effect" because he was being an asshole, however you try to defend him. He wasn't in the right, and harmed an innocent kid (Arvo) just like Lilly does. Cool? Cool.

[laissezferre]

the terror (2018), last 3 eps

this is primarily for @corinthes, whom i’ve been yelling at for the past few days bc of this show. it got a bit lengthy and and i doubt you’d enjoy reading this from the chat box. spoilers beware for anyone curious enough.

i feel like episode 8 is the calm before the shitstorm that is ep 9-10 and it certainly has the feel of a filler episode, but i love it nonetheless. people talk! people have lines and are given the time to deliver them! francis and james have this important conversation even before the credits roll and that makes it all the more important. i love this scene; i see what you mean about how it belongs to a stage. it's just two guys having a heartfelt convo, beautifully acted. when the camera goes further and shows them standing apart, right in the middle of the frame, in this vast wasteland, looking at each other and having an understanding--gaawwd.

tobias's delivery of "i would like that very much" was so good! so vulnerable and open and hopeful. even now, he needs validation and it's important that he gets it from francis. and francis--having labeled the ship as a confessor--fills the ships' gap and becomes the confessor for everyone apparently. and at this point, he's reached god-like zen bc seriously he looks so put together after everyone's spilled their guts out to him. til the end, he dispenses "i forgive you" and "you did your best" and "you're a good lad" like pancakes. and he starts calling people by their first name too. and this, coming from a francis crozier who has known to be miserable and disagreeable, is called d e v e l o p m e n t. further on, when tells his lieutenants that if they got sick, he wouldn't leave them either, i thought "yes, i would die for you, i would follow you to hell and back". thank you, jared, for this performance.

i loved the almost-hanging scene too. it's a very looong scene and it's sad how so few shows actually take the time to have their characters talk! i can easily imagine this on a stage, complete with atmospheric smoke and sepia lighting. i knew that letter was gonna bite francis in the ass. i was waiting for it and hickey put down that card in the best time possible. hickey, you are a murdering, mutinous son of a bitch, but i also can't help but admire you.

ep 9 is like one sucker punch after another. god wants you to live, can we sleep, bridal carry, what can i do for you sir--this is... too much. special props tho to goodsir bc he has been through some shit. this show has added so many actors to my watch-for-next-projects list and that includes paul ready. he goes through such a transformation, so filled with hope and optimism and empathy and by the time they ask him to butcher gibson, he just looks so fucking done. we know he's going to die and it won't be by anyone else's hand. i love the part where hickey stabs gibson and they get into a struggle, but it’s less a physical struggle and more a battle of wills. can't believe they brought out the bits of glass from episode xX. his death was so beautifully shot. first, from where he sits still and looks in the direction of the camera while the tent canvass behind him thrashes wildly. that was hauntingly beautiful. then when he cuts his wrists but we can't see his face, only his spasms. and then when he pictures the flowers and shells. that broke me. he was a science man to the death.

i have words for jopson but i will reserve them for ep 10.

francis gave a service for james but they did it alone. ok then! fuck me up some more! this, plus blankly's revelation that he's gonna die soon, chips at francis' state of zen and we see him break a bit. i love how his voice breaks in "why didnt you say aything?!" and then they're laughing and crying at the same time and yeah, there is no toxic masculity in this murderland, just a whole lot of love.

this show like oprah giving out prizes. "you get a monologue! and you get a monologue! and you get a monologue!" and i love it! hodgson and tover are relatively minor characters but they are given time to speak up, and despite their shitty actions, you can't help but empathize. and their breakdowns aren't the same either. goodsir breathes heavily, hodgson is still and haunted, tover hugs himself and shudders, and they all do it so well! how is everyone in this show so good?? jared did mention that most of the cast was theater-trained so i guess that played a part.

i have to tell you that before bingeing the last 3 eps i watched almost all the terror crack videos on youtube, so these last eps were, though still heartbreaking, were also a bit funny for me, in an absurd kind of way. when james fires the rocket, i can hear "rocketman" in the background. when goodsir mixes the poison, i almost yelled "chemistry time!". it's just... i needed to make fun of it or i wouldn't surive the heartbreak. which leads me to:

jopsoooooonnn! the best boi! the goodest boi! the most loyal boi who did no wrong! apart from his death, what's more heartbreaking is that he thought crozier left him. he didn't know that the captain was abducted so he thought he's been deliberately abandoned. his hallucination reduced me to tears. he was probably starving to death and here was all this food but no, he! just! wanted! his! captain! he sees the captain in his best form--well kempt, alert, emphatic--and at the end of it, his captain is turned away from him. fuck me up seven ways to sunday. i desperately want bts pics from this scene bc the eeriness of having a full dining table in the wastes must be jarring.

little doesn't get enough credit, because while he did mess up, his loyalty is also something to be admired. they were hungry and sick and dying--they could very well have just kept on south but he was still insistent to save francis. "you would leave our captain with that devil of a man?" yes, little, you did your best. you deserved to die last.

if tunbaaq is meant to be a metaphor for nature and balance, it's absolutely fitting how it's defeated by lead and chemical poison. ultimately, how we've used technology and industrialization kills the environment--or at least that's how i read it.

i really have to applaud adam nagaitis for his performance here and i do think he deserves top billing as much as the lead cast. by the end of it, he draws as much screen time as crozier and you can even say that he holds the last 2-3 eps together. and you genuinely fucking hate his character. were those really james' boots he was wearing? does that mean they dug him up and looted him? that unforgiveable swine, may he rot in hell, but gawwd adam pulled it off well.

i've been debating with myself if it was kinder and more poetic to have crozier die at the end so that he wouldn't have to grieve or go through survivor's guilt, but for my own mental health, i'm glad he survived. it's a small mercy but i'm glad he got to live. i'm glad he got to see what happened to his men, that he saw jopson one final time, and little too. his survival also sends the message that the one most willing to adapt (and respect the culture) will survive. he tries to follow silna but stops when the chief says "it's just how we do things". he understands and he lets it go. he learns the language and the way of life--and he lives.

i've watched featurettes and interviews for this series and from there you can really see that this show was a labor of love. it was a product of collaboration, research, open-mindedness, and a solid cast and crew. you can have all the special effects, all the expensive costumes, but at the core of it, what makes a good story is Dialogue. i can honestly say that it's one of the best scripts this decade has ever produced. the showrunners set out to tell a story and they did it to the best of their ability. i'll be coming back to this series for the next few months and rewatching it many times over.

thank u, thank u, thank u for introducing this to me. now come yell at me back