#gooddaysandbaddays getthisoffmychest

[tmon930]

I was Having a Great Day

I was having a great day. I’ve been having a lot of good days lately. I’ve been bettering myself through education, through relationships, and through experiences. I finished EMT school and lasted a few years as an EMT lifeguard. While that was fun, it just couldn’t pay the bills. I took and finished machine tool school and had a few jobs through that degree but learned it just wasn’t for me. I even finished barber school. I’ll be starting in the next week or two. You know what? I even got engaged this year. I found what is possibly the best woman I’ve ever known, second only to my mother. We’ve moved in together. We’ve celebrated accomplishments. We’ve made plans for the future.

You know what I’ve been doing the most to better myself though? Forgetting about you. All thinking about you ever did was make me angry. Just a fucking distraction. That’s all you ever were and that’s likely all you’ll ever be. Usually I can force you from my mind. Usually I can keep a clean slate. Today though for some reason, you wouldn’t stay the fuck out. I don’t know why. You’re good for nothing. You’ve provided nothing. You mean nothing. One day I’ll be able to erase you permanently. Until then, I’ll do my best to think of something else. Like how much I love my fiance and how I’ll do everything in my power to never hurt her or push her away. I’ll never let something as pointless as booze dictate my life.

Hey, guess what? I’m getting married next year. Guess who’s not getting an invite? You. I’m even inviting Cas. Why you ask? Cause he actually tried to be a part of my life. He made efforts to see me. I wonder what I could do to actually make you want to be a part of my life. Unfortunately it’s those thoughts that let you invade my mind and ruin my day. I took my money and bought a bus ticket to visit you over ten years ago. Is it too much to ask that you make an attempt from your end? I don’t think so but I guess you do. It doesn’t really matter anymore. I’ve given you ample time to make an effort to get to know me. Well, this is the end of my rant. I hope this makes your neck itch even a little bit.