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actualbird · 2 years ago

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Hey Zak!

I just read your analysis on marius and emotional distancing and I agree! I think on top of that, he's also the type to bottle it up, if that's the right term for it.

There's one Marius scene that really stuck with me, above all the romantic stuff. (i don't remember which story it's from, i just remember what he did). Marius was talking about something traumatizing, then in the blink of an eye, he was smirking at us, all smug and asking us if we really fell for it.

Once I noticed that, I start noticing it in all Marius angst stories. Every time he talks about something traumatizing, he typically changes the topic in the middle. Which is to be expected when it's something that traumatizes him, but the thing is, the trauma gets mentioned, and we see him being vulnerable. Then, it's like a switch flicks in his head. Like "Oh wait, I'm talking to jiejie", and he immediately clams up and starts teasing us, going back to the flirty brat we met at the start.

I can't think of a single time when he mentions something traumatizing, and we actually get him being completely vulnerable as he tells us about it all, not just part of it before he swaps to flirty and confident mode.

I was kidding when I told some of my friends that "marius is the type to be having an emotional breakdown and saying 'i'm fine, it's fine, why do you think i need help'", but now I think it could actually happen.

irt analysis on marius and emotional distancing

hi roshie-writes!! first off, im v sorry im getting to this ask very late OTL but im happy to hear u agree with that analysis :D

additionally, this ask is rlly interesting cuz yEPPPPPP, I AGREE ON ALL THIS TOO

that whole thing of Drops Vulnerability And Then Shifts To Playful Aloofness is SO VERY common in marius stories, and i personally first clocked it in the Lost Gold event. in like, the very first scene of his LG route, marius tells mc that she must think him naive for wanting to trust bryce and in general just confesses some insecurities hes got. and then the moment mc shows him sincerity, concern, and worry, he immediately shifts and is like "AWWWW UR WORRIED ABOUT ME >:3c" which makes me (and mc) wanna affectionately strangle him.

another more recent instance of this tendency happens in his blossom chapter personal story 4, right when he actually tells the full story of the Basement Incident. and then not like 5 lines after that, he gets flirty, glosses OVER ALL OF THAT WORRYING INFORMATION, and then says "Yeah, that's my good girl" to mc with a smirk on his face.

this personal story 4 instance stands out to me for three reasons:

1) simply cuz the Basement Incident full story lives in my mind rent free and

2) the "Yeah, that's my good girl" is notorious cuz i regularly see screencaps of that line do rounds on twt with ppl simping over it, me included, cuz my god marius KNOWS how to be flirty, like, lemme just drop the screencap cuz Im Not Immune To Marius von Hagen

and 3) the fact that this above screencap regularly makes rounds w ppl going crazy over how hes a flirty bastard (affectionate) really makes me go nuts cuz.....aGAIN. HE DID THIS LIKE 2 SECONDS AFTER CONFESSING HE NEARLY DIED AS A CHILD. LIKE...to an extent, his deflection here worked even outside of the realm of the in-game story itself, it's working on the players too cuz we're busy going MARIUS! VON! HAGEN! over the flirting that, again, attention is taken away from the thing he doesnt want anybody to pay attention to

HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS........

i talk a little bit abt this bait-n-switch tendency of his in an old analysis i wrote, marius von hagen, facade vs. sincerity, harsh truths vs. persisting hope, and my thought abt this tendency hasnt changed from the insight i gathered back then, which went:

marius casually has the tendency to “act” a certain way to get things like praise and reassurance, which could arguably interpreted as him using facades (which in this situation i think is actually him just saying theyre facades, theyre actually sincere, but he hides that, says it’s just an act) to acquire the deep seated sincerity he wishes. here, facade is a medium by which to acquire sincerity from others.

this is partly because of what you say which i agree with. he still wants people to care about him (because thats an innately human desire we All want) but at some point, he realizes hes talking to mc and hes gotta dial it back. and why does he dial it back? because he doesnt want her to worry. she matters to him, and he doesnt want her to be upset over him, so shifting the conversation into something playful can effectively stop worry in its tracks or, at the very least, delay it.

but i also think this is because revealing these gutpunch things like trauma or insecurities is, at the end of the day, a vulnerability

and marius is in a position where he cannot be vulnerable. vulnerability can put him (and maybe even people who matter to him too) in danger.

as much as his deflection, disconnection, and repression is a method for him to deal with his own things himself, these methods are also a way for him to protect against others. he needs to act like these vulnerabilities dont matter to him at all, because then theyre less likely to become weakpoints for an enemy to exploit.

and marius is also in a position where hes got a Lot of enemies. so many people would quite like it if they had something to hold over the head of Pax, mr interim-CEO himself

it's at times like these i really appreciate that marius' nxx codename is King, because it is sosososoososoo fitting for him, specifically due to the chess definition of the term.

the king is simultaneously the most important piece (which garners many enemies and ensures everybody wants to be able to put the king in check or checkmate), AND arguably the weakest piece too (full of vulnerabilities and weakpoints that need to be Constantly guarded against). the king is literally a piece thats meant to be hunted and protected, because thats the entire point of the game, and thats a lot of what marius has to deal with too. marius, to me, feels like hes constantly playing 4D chess in an effort to protect himself and make it look like hes protecting no weakpoints at all, weakpoints Dont Exist, if u saw them, no u didnt, because he needs to appear invincible

all eyes are always on him, for better or for worse. and when everybody is watching, allies and enemies alike, it seems way smarter to just hide and minimize vulnerability completely than to risk getting stabbed in the back for it.

#roshie-writes #asks #marius von hagen #tears of themis #the marius urge to make zak write a ridiculously long block of text. he CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS ALSO!!!

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my-sun-m00n-and-stars · 1 year ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @sinisterexaggerator

I'm not very active on tumblr and I don't think I have anyone else to tag who hasn't done this already, but I thought this would be fun.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I joined AO3 just over a year ago, so right now I only have two works. They're the first two entries in my Cad Bane series. A third one is in development, and I plan to start updating it around the new year.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

188,065

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I write for Star Wars only, but I have plans in the future to write a series for Skyrim/Elder Scrolls.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

As I currently only have two, they are:

Sex, Drugs, and Blasters

Credits, Lies, and Betrayal

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to every comment. Any amount of interaction I get is precious to me, especially since this little niche in the fandom is so small.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Credits. *Spoilers* OC has an emotional breakup with Jango Fett, succumbs to Bane's seduction, and then gets shot in the chest by said blue bounty hunter.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sex, Drugs, and Blasters. OC pays off her debt and makes some new bounty hunting friends.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did get one particularly persistent hater who used multiple accounts to hate on the way I wrote Jango, eventually saying some homophobic stuff I had to delete from the comment section. It was pretty bizarre, but I did decide to take another look at my writing with Jango and made some small changes. It was a weird experience, but I decided to make the best of it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yes. I'm a big supporter of slow burn, but when it finally reaches that point, I go all-out. So far I have a couple scenes with Jango and one with Bane (my favorite one).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't write crossovers and I'm generally not a fan. However, a couple years ago I read this really fun one that was a Marvel/Clone Wars crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I would be open to it. I wouldn't mind having a beta, though. Sometimes I really need someone else to proof-read.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I think I gotta go with Captain Swan from Once Upon a Time. That show was crazy, but Emma and Hook were just so good together. Not to mention Hook was HOT.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I only have one WIP, and that is my Bane slowburn series. However, I do believe I will finish it given enough time. At first I never thought I would start it, and now I have two novels under my belt.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at planning plots and making things link together. I'm setting up long-term plotpoints in the series whilst juggling smaller plot threads and subplots. I sketch it all out ahead of time so I always know where I'm going.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes I struggle with coming up with creative description on the spot. I usually have to open thesauruses. My main goal as a writer is to use more figurative language. Then again, I'm only 19 so I still have plenty of room to grow.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've written several scenes with Mando'a dialogue, and I usually just write it in English and italicize it. If I want to emphasize certain words, I'll say the direct translation, like "cyar'ika".

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Sex, Drugs, and Blasters is my firstborn child, but I think I enjoyed writing Credits, Lies, and Betrayal better.

#cad bane #cad bane x reader #cad bane x oc #star wars #questions for fic writers

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kotlc-deleted-scenes · 2 years ago

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Keeper Summer Week #1

Deleted Original Prologue from Keeper of the Lost Cities

I wrote this scene because I wanted the beginning of Keeper of the Lost Cities to feel mysterious and ominous. But I decided it didn't work for readers to have more knowledge about Sophie's past than Sophie did. It made her character feel a bit annoying, since it took her so long to catch up to everyone else. So I cut this and made the series third-person limited (meaning I only include a scene if Sophie is in it). Oh, and you may notice that a few of the details about Prentice's memory break have changed since I wrote this prologue. Writing is rewriting. (And rewriting again and again. And again!)

—Shannon

NO MATCH.

The two words flashed red across the screen like a taunt, tempting Quinlin to fling the palm-size gadget off the rooftop and let it shatter into a million pieces below.

Somehow he fought the urge, instead taking another slow, deep breath before pressing the final sequence of buttons.

"Please work," he begged the tiny screen as he ran his fingers across his sweat-streaked forehead.

Talking to inanimate objects—a sure sign of desperation. A second later the screen flashed with the words UNABLE TO PROCESS.

Quinlin clenched the blinking square in his fist, like that would somehow make it cooperate. When it didn't help, he switched it off and shoved the gadget deep into the pocket of his cape and glanced up at the sky.

Time to deliver the bad news.

The night was just starting to fade into the deep blue glow of early dawn, and one by one the stars were winking away. Alden would be there any minute. But as the seconds dragged by, Quinlin could only pace the length of the rooftop and wait.

Back and forth.

A flash of light stopped him in his tracks, and a tall figure in a dark gray cape shimmered onto the rooftop next to him.

"I came as soon as I could," Alden apologized as he smoothed his dark wavy hair. His vibrant teal eyes shone even in the dim light. "What did you find?"

Quinlin tried to force out the words. When they wouldn't come, he reached into his pocket and retrieved the gadget, holding it out to Alden. "See for yourself."

Alden tapped the screen, and a hologram appeared-the twisted double helix of a DNA strand glowing in the darkness.

"Well... this is a surprise," Alden whispered. A shadow of concern was painted across his handsome face. "Have you shown this to anyone?"

"Only you."

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

Quinlin nodded.

"You couldn't get anything else?" Alden asked, still studying the hologram.

"I tried," Quinlin assured him. "But Prentice's mind was par- ticularly strong. I had to shatter his sanity in order to extract the one piece I recovered."

Alden nodded gravely. "Such a waste." He held the hologram closer to his face, his eyes narrowing. "I'm no expert on these, but this one looks strange, doesn't it?"

"It's been altered somehow," Quinlin agreed. "The system couldn't even process it." Frustration dripped off every word.

Alden took a turn at pacing. "I assume there was no match…”

Quinlin laughed darkly. "I ran it five times."

Alden ran it a sixth to be sure. "Well... at least we know it's a girl."

They both fell silent, lost in their own thoughts.

"What do you think it means?" Quinlin finally whispered into the darkness.

"I have no idea," Alden admitted. He touched the center of the screen, and the hologram disappeared. "But I need to find her."

"You really think you can?" Quinlin asked. “Where will you look?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Though... I suppose if I wanted to hide a child, there's one place I would be fairly certain no one would search."

Quinlin sucked in a breath. "You don't mean…”

Alden nodded. "It seems like the best place to start."

"But... there are so many of them—and she could be anywhere."

"It won't be easy," Alden agreed. "I'll probably have to wait until her abilities develop before I can truly identify her."

"That will take years," Quinlin warned.

"I know. We'll all have to be patient."

Quinlin looked away. "The poor child…”

A rueful smile spread across Alden's lips. "Oh, they're not all bad."

"Still. To be raised by humans." Quinlin cringed just saying the word.

Alden's teal eyes twinkled mysteriously as he pulled a pathfinder from his pocket and held the crystal out into the first rays of dawn. A single beam of light was refracted toward the ground. "Who knows? Maybe it will be good for her," he said, mostly to himself, before glancing at Quinlin. "I'll let you know when I find her."

"Don't you mean if you find her?" Quinlin couldn't help asking.

Alden shook his head. "Oh, I will find her. I just don't know what we'll do with her once I do." He gave a half bow and stepped into the beam of light from his wand.

His body glittered for a second and then vanished.

#keeper of the lost cities #kotlc deleted scene #kotlc deleted scenes

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phaedo · 2 years ago

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for the fic asks - any or all of 3, 7, 10, 45?

kissing you on the mouth for sending this anon (sorry. that comes on strong. i am giving you a respectful and firm handshake)

(asks are here by the way)

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

OOH i think about this fairly often! i think you can see a lot of what i'm interested in through my fics. i definitely tend to go for fluff, i love disabling my characters, i like quietly complicated emotions, i like touch... oh you know what? my characters are in doctors' offices/med bays all the time. it's actually really annoying i always want them to have medical tests or whatever and then i have to write ANOTHER med bay scene 🙄 oh also at this point mitski i will should probably be considered a trope.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

OOH well first of all turning the bad wolf thing into a disability at all i think is like. really fun in that regard, like... i enjoy taking a common bit of fanon and going "okay but surely this wouldn't just be fun time powers right." and like i've said before it's really good because it gives space for both projection and wish fulfillment

i also like. haven't gotten to put a lot of penny's backstory into tattoo au (when i run away (you're who i run to) is the official title i just only ever call it tattoo au) yet because it's not like she would volunteer the information, and it's not like donna would say anything either but adapting the doctor's backstory for a human is something i really enjoyed. it's a really intense backstory but like so is the doctor's! basically she was adopted by a medical researcher who found out that she had a gene mutation that gave her increased immunity to various diseases (i'm like 80% sure this is a real thing but please don't fact check me thank you <3) and used that as a reason to like. exploit her to research the gene mutation etc-- all that is an adaptation of the timeless child. her chronic illness is because over the course of this experimentation she contracted a virus she wasn't immune to and it was just her luck that it happened to give her chronic fatigue-- this is an attempt at adapting the way regeneration goes wrong for the doctor, i realized i headcanon them as having trouble with regeneration because of all that trauma/experimentation.

also she's trans which is mostly separate from all that except her past experiences have informed her physical transition and it's meaningful to her to be able to make changes to her body that are completely under her control and explicitly positive (but she will not inject hrt, she has to do pills and/or gel, and she is an absolute terror every time she has to do a blood test). and getting tattooed is similar for her, it's like... a positive change that's under her control. she got to donna by running away from her adoptive mum when she was like sixteen and winding up in london trying to do a-levels at donna's school, and donna befriended her. she didn't have the name penny yet and she was sixteen and a bit of a dork so she went by "the doctor," penny comes from going over to donna's and having donna's mum go "it's the bad penny again!" because she's like. always there (because she kind of doesn't have anywhere else) and wilf turns it into an inside joke and starts calling her penny affectionately and then she's like. yeah okay sure. that'll be my name. ALSO donna is the one who introduced her to judaism, she wasn't raised with much religion but as she became part of donna's family etc she started to enjoy/appreciate judaism more and more and eventually converted. which is meaningful to her both because the religion itself resonates but also because it connects her to the people she actually considers family. (her last name is also noble, legally.) the funny thing about this au was realizing that literally all my characters except donna had run away from their families in some capacity as a teenager but like what do you expect from doctor who

also she has finley L word hair. as is the natural way of things. (but s1-2 hair when finley's still blond)

SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT I'VE BEEN RESISTING DUMPING ALL OF THIS ON THE PUBLIC FOR MONTHS NOW IS THE THING.

10. How do you decide what to write?

OUGH I ROTATE THINGS IN MY MIND AND THEN THEY'RE ON THE PAGE. sometimes there's a prompt challenge or exchange or something but mostly i have really unhinged conversations with my friends and by the end of it i have a new wip. or i just start thinking a little too hard about a character or dynamic or whatever. but pretty much anything i write is just like. something i'm feeling things about in the moment.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

ooh i'm so much more detailed now! a lot of my fics used to read as like. almost as scripts? like mostly dialogue, not a lot of description. which makes sense, i come from the theater, but like. it's not the vibe i want! i've gotten better at pushing myself to imagine the little nuances of a scene, like the body language/expressions and stuff, and i've gotten better at describing emotional experiences too. i feel like in general i've just matured a lot as a person too and with that has come added depth and perspective to my fics. like i started posting to ao3 when i was fourteen and now i'm 23. and i think it's really interesting to look at my old fics and see how i've grown since i wrote them!

#lifeblogs #ask game #:)

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worstdisastermaster · 2 months ago

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Also, even tho Athena and Apollo 200% are in a tiff rn bc if the Trojan war, they r still besties. Look at their myths, their temples, their cults, their roles, their domains, etc. They r bros to the highest level- and Apollo loves his big sister *so much*. Much like how he refused to fight poseidon for the Trojan war, he's going to do everything he can for his beloved sister- even defending her beloved hero that he can't be too fond of himself.

Never mind that he knows *exactly how she feels*, ten times + over.

Honestly during the song I always felt like he was winking at her. He was so easily persuaded bc he *wanted* to be, he would have been content with any excuse, he was just putting up the song and dance for zeus

I also really wanna write a scene that's stuck in my mind. The reason Athena decides to meet tele and check up on ody is bc of Apollo. She was def avoiding him, but eventually he tracks her down. And it starts off with a fight, bc she's upset, and apollos barely gathered himself together to try and be compassionate, but it ends with her crying in his arms ab the woes of befriending mortals and "it HURTS 'pollo, it hurts *so bad*, how do you do this, again and again and again?" And basically have a really good discussion that helps the both of them return to that insanely tight-knit friendship from before- stronger then ever, for all that it's tentative now- and he's a very supportive bby brother and encourages her to try again. With his help, she has the courage to do so- to look at things a little less strategically, less like marble, and more logically, like the gentle but unforgiving honestly of a song. (Just like he needs athenas help to get out of his head sometimes, as he gets caught up in Feelings he's so sensitive I love him-)

Now, ofc, Zeus doesn't realize they made up- and both are fine to keep it that way, it's just another tactic, another way to protect themselves and each other. (And they look less like a threat if they aren't combined- especially if he thinks they are actively against each other, so distracted and focused on petty rivalry instead f being a threat to am insanely paranoid king) which is why he was summoned. Bc Zeus summoned the people he thought were least likely to agree, but my understanding of apollos character tells me he'd be the first, every time. Above Hermes, even.

Oh and, I feel like that's a huge part of why Hermes helps out too- bc of Athena. She just doesn't care ab mortals like that. Ever. But all of a sudden she *does* and Hermes is immediately more interested in it. Bc to me he seems like a god less worried ab his descendents, but very much concerned ab his bigger siblings and their lives and his standings with them and everything.

Hephy is... something like that. He's not as supportive as the others, but in his own way, he cares.

Aphys still mad at Athena, and therefore so is Ares. Oh and they are kind of rivals occasionally.

Hera just plain hates Athena as a *legitimate* child of Zeus that is not one of heras- wether or not hera had any desire to bear Zeus children in the first place holds no bearing here bc that was (relatively) normalized back then so people wouldn't have seen that as an excuse. Anyways.

Athena is either Zeuss first or second fav kid- I can't remember where arty falls on the list lol. So she has the best chance out of anyone. But... it's also zeus

And when did this become me discussing the song oooooooop-

Basically I adore Apollo and apollo+Athena friendship gives me life and my brain autocorrects the events to fit in as much of that interaction as possible

(WHICH ISNT TO SAY THAT HERMES HAS NO EFFECT ON APOLLO. Apollo adores his baby brother so much it's not even funny I just agree with all u said already so I'm just adding on XD)

I saw a lot of posts, where is implied that Apollo in God Games doesn't care about Odysseus and his situation at all. But what if it's other way around and Apollo just cares too much?

Mythologically Apollo and Hermes are friends. And looks like Hermes cares about his grandgrandson (Odysseus' grandfather is son of Hermes). Hermes was the only god who helped Odysseus even without being asked, just because Hermes wanted to help him.

I just imagine, that Hermes keeps an eye on Odysseus and constantly chatters to Apollo about him, calling him Ody. So thats why Apollo choose such a ridiculous reason as sirens, and uses "Ody" - he wants to help just because of his friendship with Hermes.

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whateverisbeautiful · 3 months ago

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Obviously obsessed with everything you write and love how you get all the subtleties and nuances in TWD & TOWL. I'm just rewatching TWD and it's so interesting Rick's relationship with Lori and especially when they're on the run and find the prison. He really actually does seem to hate her on rewatching it and the guilt he feels afterwards doesn't feel like love but just that he feels guilty about being "disloyal" to her - like I don't think if she had lived they would have ever gotten back together. Her betrayal of him, not just with Shane, but how she doubts him constantly and the final one being when she pulls away from him after he tells her he killed Shane. It's such an interesting difference from how he truly loves Michonne and even tries (lol) to pull away from her in TOWL. Your perspectives on Rick's love interests (including stupid Jessie ::eyeball:: which I still don't fully get to this day) would be so good to read if you ever had a chance

Thank you!! 💕 Oh those two ladies’ names will be making an appearance in some upcoming ep4/ep5 posts because I definitely have thoughts. But this message made me want to share some now too. I completely agree that Rick and Lori would have split had she lived. By season 3 they both knew the marriage was over a long time ago and it was just a matter of finally accepting that.

And that’s spot on how the betrayal from Lori had so many layers to it, even beyond Shane. Especially her constant doubt in him. Whenever I see scenes from early TWD several things always hit me about the Rick and Lori dynamic and so I wrote them out right here⬇👌🏽:

#1: Rick and Lori loved each other like relatives but not like spouses. It truly seemed to be a marriage rooted so much more in duty/tradition than passion/and genuine organic connection. And just simply enjoying each other as people - sometimes it seemed like they both had to push themselves to even do that.

That’s another thing I love about Richonne: they love each other so passionately and they also really really like and enjoy each other. Michonne truly likes the way Rick shows affection and the way he thinks, expresses himself, leads, jokes, tries, and walks (😏). And Rick, I mean he likes, enjoys, and reveres every facet of Michonne as a person. 😇

#2: I always interpret that Rick and Lori were perhaps influenced by ��small-town syndrome” as a high school couple who were expected to settle down and start a family quickly after graduating.

In my head, I envision that Lori might have even been more interested in Shane when she was a teen, but he was a womanizer so she went with Rick who was far more husband material. But then once Shane started playing Family Man at the end of the world, Lori felt Shane finally had everything she desired from him, and she wasted no time letting him replace Rick in her and her child's life.

#3: The revelation that always makes me so sad for Rick is that deep down Lori wanted Shane to be the one left standing when things inevitably came to blows between Rick and Shane. On my rewatches I see that more and more.

I think she knew that if Shane lived it would be the 'neater' option for her. She’d already accepted losing Rick when she thought he was dead in a coma. So if Rick was out of the picture again, she could just go back to how it was before Rick “came back from the dead.” Shane could raise the baby they all knew deep down was his, she could be with the man she actually felt a spark with, and Carl was really close with Shane, so she could go back to having Shane acting as a dad to her son too.

And most of all, where Rick was extremely loyal and devoted to his family and the group, I think Lori preferred the way Shane would feel loyal and devoted to her and Carl above the group. Not realizing that Rick does prioritize family, just in a more healthy way than Shane, who would likely recklessly screw over the group in his attempts to protect Lori and Carl, which would have ended badly for everybody. And with Lori’s affinity for traditional gender roles, I think she resonated more with Shane’s stereotypical display of masculinity and had more trust that he could protect her over Rick.

#4: I really think that part of why Rick doesn’t look at Lori when he tells her that he killed Shane is because he knows what he’s going to see in her eyes when he tells her. He knows he’s going to see, even if for a brief second on her face, that Shane being the one left alive is the outcome she actually wanted, and that she had fallen in love with him. Lori might have even hated herself for feeling that she preferred Shane live instead, but I think that’s still how she felt.

And since he still is going to be committed to protecting her as the mother of his child and a member of the group, it's like Rick was trying to avoid having the damaging image of Lori’s disappointment etched in his brain since he still had a job to do in keeping her alive and safe.

However, it turned out that Rick didn’t even have to be looking at her face, because her reaction to the news was so intense that he still probably knew full well that Lori’s attachment to Shane went a lot deeper than they wanted to admit.

#5: There’s a lot of emotions clearly boiling beneath the surface within Rick when they find the prison in season 3. I think he hates a lot about their situation but is trying to not let that turn into hating Lori, even if he doesn't exactly like her. I do think Rick and Lori have love for each other in s3 but Rick knows they are not even a little bit in love with each other.

He also knows what’s left of this marriage is pretty beyond repair, and I think maybe part of the guilt he feels is that he doesn’t want to try to repair it either. After all of Lori's hurt, lies, betrayal, he's understandably done.

I agree how a lot of his post-Lori guilt had more to do with things outside of just love. Like feeling guilty that he had mentally pulled away from her without the two getting closure. And he's a dutiful and responsible person so of course it would eat away at him that he wasn't able to save his wife, even if in so many ways he no longer viewed her as a wife but more like Carl's mother.

On the phone with imaginary Lori, Rick tells her how he had been waiting to open the door and finally address everything with her because he first had to focus on securing a home base for them. So he feels guilt that they both tabled those necessary conversations about their crumbled marriage too long and now they'll never get to have them. He feels guilty that he didn't at least communicate that he loved her even if he wasn't in love with her. And he feels guilty that he "couldn't put it back together."

Fortunately tho...Rick met someone who could 😇...

#thanks for this message!#just when i thought maybe i wasn't going to be extra and make a whole long post - i couldn't help but elaborate lol #reflecting on rick & lori's fascinating fail-marriage makes me even more grateful Rick now experiences healthy vibrant love w/ Michonne 🙌🏽#richonne #reflecting on richonne #asks & answers

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yanderelovlies · 2 years ago

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✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Feel proud of it! Your work it amazing! Oh totally same. I’m thinking of making a fanfiction but for another fandom one day and one of the things that holds me back to try to publish it is fight scenes. I suck at writing fighting and I need to at least get more of an idea before I publish my work. And also because I don’t want people to steal my work.

Ooh I see. Wow then that sucks then when people asked you about that since no you’re off the clock and yet they still try to make you do things for them. Wait that long for a paycheck? Shit man I would hate it then since I’m not working six weeks to get a paycheck finally. There is rent and bills to pay.

Also my god today I know for sure the host hates me! I asked the manager if I can have two more tables and she heard her because the manager even told her as well and she nodded! And she gave me three and even worse the fact the third was when the time I told her I needed to leave. And when I told someone and they confronted her she has the audacity to act like she never heard that and that I never said that. The audacity. Man that lady is so horrible sometimes. She’s the one who acts passive aggressive so you can’t blame her for anything but she knows what she is doing.

Hooray i’m safe! Ooh that be fun! I actually never watched it ( everyone with those pitchforks put them down!). What is it actually about? Yes especially if the one who commit the crime gets barely to no consequences. I have literally heard cases where it even helps those kinds of people and the government asks why people don’t trust them. People you guys literally let horrible people put on the streets. Yeah when it’s a case that makes me horrified or mad then I know you put it down. It isn’t worth my own mental health but my heart goes out to those poor victims and families.

My god yes thank you. No offense to people who want a family early or had a kid young but I can barely function sometimes right now so why do you want a kid that young? Everything becoming more expensive these days Nope not for me. Yes though because there the ones who stay and take care of the child so good on them for standing up and taking care of things…unless there abusive then it’s better if the kid was getting adopted by a good family. But also some dads because they also stick with their kids. Guess it wasn’t meant to be oh well.

Ooh it meant I love you? Then I love ya too! Also it’s a cute habit keep doing the habit!

Awww thank you! I try to give you guys the best. Though at some point I need to edit some cause the writing on them isn't the best. If you ever decided to post any work I will be there to help and support you!

No there was a bit of mix up there. We got paid every two weeks, but our work schedule was work 6 weeks straight no days off then get 2 weeks off.

Holy shit that sounds God awful, and I'm glad other people called her out on her shit. I strongly dislike those coworkers who make your job harder for no reason. They are the worst.

So to put it without spoilers hobbit and friends go on a journey to destroy the evil ring so evil doesn't come back to destroy everything. The story is so much cooler than I described it lol but you get the idea. Oh, I agree my mom is also into true crime so when she hears something new she likes to talk to me about it. However some days I have to step away because it becomes too much. I usually go back to my own home for a while to play games. My heart goes out to the victims and their families too.

Because it was always just me and my mom I had to raise my younger siblings and let me tell you that shit was hard. I don't want to do it again any time soon. I'm cool with me, my cat, and possibly a dog. Don't get me started on father shit galaxy I don't think it's for the public lol.

Lol aww thank you 💕

#vivi talks #galaxy anon

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gracegrove · 2 years ago

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so let's talk scene analysis shall we?

we've all established that relationship between karen wheeler and billy hargrove is problematic. that's not up for debate here in the slightest.

what i would instead like to discuss is the scene set up and how the duffers tailored that initial scene in a way that intentionally adultified and objectified billy and sexualized karen and set unsuspecting viewers up to consume a scene as being flirtatious and sexual and also consensual from the jump. that if a viewer doesn't think critically, and if they take the scene fully at face value as the duffers intended... then it looks like a scene being exchanged between mutually consenting adults who are entirely aware of all possible actions and consequences.

so let's start from the top.

it's a weekend evening. supposedly a saturday or sunday based on the timeline. in early november. it's well after dark. ted is asleep in his recliner. holly is asleep in his lap. ... he was most likely supposed to put her to bed but didn't and now they're both fast asleep. anyways...

karen is in the bath. with her book. and her pile of lit candles. and bubbles. when the doorbell rings. and again. and again and again.

she's screaming for ted to get it but he's asleep which pisses her off because clearly she was having 'me time' and she was not expecting company. so now she has to pry herself out and answer the door.

she flies down the stairs in just her bathrobe, quickly ties it and flings open the door. instantly surprised by this (taller than her) boy on the doorstep. the sexy background music starts playing the minute the door opens.

she's immediately taken by him and for a split second worries that she's not wearing enough clothing. he flirts. basically compliments her for looking young and pretty. strokes her ego. she loves it. but she knows he must be here to pick up nancy. oh but he's not?

he's looking for his sister? oh what a good brother. she's even more drawn in. such intense eye contact. he's leaning on the doorframe. she's invited him in. given him a cookie. got out her address book.

more flirting. the breathy way she tells him to drive slowly... the way he says always... oh ... and yell at my own child too while you're over there. she watches him leave through the door and she makes this little harumph noise and chews her cheek like she's got it bad for this kid.

so ... that's all face value.

now let's think a bit here.

it's the weekend. it's after dark. if ted's already knocked out in the armchair with holly and karen's gone to the trouble of drawing herself a bath it's probably well after dinner. it's probably close to like 9pm maybe later.

she lit all those damn candles. put in bubble bath. got her trashy novel. she planned on being in there a while. definitely did not expect company at all. she was winding down for the night. so technically (except the duffers kept it for the aesthetic of the scene..) she would have also taken off her makeup. her night is winding down. this is her time. most likely a relaxation ritual she clings to. and she probably would've gone right to bed after if the night had gone uninterrupted.

when she realizes that she has no choice but to get out and answer the door you can see she's annoyed. nobody is supposed to interrupt this sacred time of hers. now this is another choice i think the duffers made for the sake of the scene... she comes down in just a long bathrobe. i'm still debating whether karen would actually do that. or if this is more to do with the scene writing to immediately raise the stakes and make it sexier. because karen in every other scene always appears to be a woman who is well put together. she's always up on the latest trends. someone who cares, probably sometimes too much (at times) what others think of her. and so even if she's annoyed or in a hurry to answer the door and then get back to her bath. i still think based on the personality her actress and the writing put forth, that it would've made more sense that she'd have hopped quickly into a pair of pjs she set out. because she wouldn't want anyone to think she answers the door "like that"... suppose someone else had been at the door? ... it just felt like a piece that immediately sexualized her. and billy came to the door pre-sexualized with his shirt as it was. so...

immediately opening the door. it's karen who reacts first. billy wasn't even looking at first until he sees her dumbstruck face and then smirks because he knows how he can game this system. easy peasy. this pta mom will be way easy to get answers out of even if max isnt at her house. so he dials up the charm times a thousand. and she falls right into the trap.

also. she didn't even look before opening the door. she just threw it wide open. in her bathrobe that she suddenly becomes conscious of seconds later...why worry now about wearing so little when you were fine about flinging the door open with no qualms three seconds ago? most parents always tell their children to check or look out before opening the door. totally just throws that to the wayside. even though she's never seen this boy before in her life.

he says hi. she says hi. let's him flirt. drinks in all his compliments. all before she finally asks him who he is. nevermind all that... "i didnt realize nancy has a sister..." he clearly knows her daughter. why does he know her daughter? hmmm? who is he and why is he on her porch? she doesn't question that at all. he's just here to get nancy... at this time of night. it took her forever to learn who steve harrington was... so karen must either be very oblivious to what goes on in nancy's life and/or nancy purposely avoids bringing boys to the house for various reasons. which is another interesting thought.

he shares he's looking for max who hangs out with lucas... and therefore also mike. clearly karen's face shows she has no idea who this kid is... strike two that karen doesn't have a whole lot of knowledge on what her kids get up to. oh 'here he is' because her house is the designated hangout. isn't he so sweet? it implies she's the hip involved mom... which she most definitely isn't.

she brings him into the house. when she still really has no damn clue who he is. she has no damn clue who his sister is either so why? except he told her she looked young and beautiful i guess? and yet another writing choice, where the further sexualization of both characters in this scene moves it forward that it becomes 'acceptable' to bring him into the house. because truthfully he should have waited at the door even with his puppy-eyed flirting while she brought him what he wanted. information.

gives him a cookie. he looked hungry i suppose. gives him the byers' address and tells him to drive careful. oh, and while you're there can you tell mike to come home while you're at it? strike three that karen just doesn't give much of a damn as a parent. if she wanted mike home already she could've called the byers' house or gone over herself if she's that damn concerned which she clearly is not. so here billy. have a side quest... and a cookie.

"i'll see you later' more sexy music as billy walks out the door. implying that this is going to become very much a thing. she's looking at him damn near swooning. when he gets in the car looking annoyed as all hell and peeling down the empty street driving very much as uncareful as he can.

@every-dayiwakeup @ickypuppi3 @eddiebillysteve

#been thinking about this scene forever just hadnt had time to go on about it til now #billy #billy hargrove

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btscontentenjoyer · 2 years ago

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I am simply obsessed with both Jungkook and OC here!!!

"It’s usually not quite appropriate for a lady to travel alone with a man she’s not even engaged to; in your time, pretty much unheard of. But somehow, they trust you to not ruin your own future. They trust in true love, in your relationship.

Funny, because they have a lot more faith in you than you do yourself." I read that first paragraph and I was all 🥺🥺🥺 but then it quickly turned into 😔😔😔

"As you saw his armour cracking, you wanted to drop yours, too. His spiralling mind demanded arms around his body; some solace to alleviate the pain he’d been carrying with him for so long now." Please he's so precious and sad, I want to give him the tightest hug. I don't think I've ever been so on board about a man with questionable intentions so quickly, but there's just something about him that pulled me in from the beginning.

"But then, he licked his lip. Let his shoulders fall and said, “Her name is Suhana. And she’s an illegitimate child.” 😬😬😬😬

"You whispered, “I’m listening, Kook. Only I am listening.” 🥺🥺🥺 I'm glad he has someone kind like OC at this time to reassure him like this.

"In the matter of weeks, you had learned that affection isn’t a straight road, and that not every relationship leads to the same goal. Sometimes, paths diverge: some end in what you’ve always imagined about love; others are far darker.

Jungkook had turned love into something hopeful for you before he’d painted it black; and now that you were here, feeling the same sparks of hope again, its colour was slowly returning again." Again, I was just marvelling at the first paragraph because I found it beautiful and then I look to the next one and you hit me with the colour returning through hope and love and 😭😭😭 I really hope it does 😭😭😭😭 for two couples in fact.

"A pity. Who knows where Jungkook could’ve been today if he’d had proper company to grow up with?" Yeah :(( they could have been such good friends too under other circumstances.

"He kept shaking his head, and you kept sighing. You were on two different pages, but you both had in common that you were worried about the other." Cuteeee

"He was still gentle when his tender, mild voice, dipped in sugar, begged, “Sweetheart…” He needs to stop doing things like this for the sake of my mental health 😫😫😫

“Because,” he started. Gulped. Looked away from you and to his hands. “I’ve never known another way.” Yeah ☹️☹️☹️

“And it might turn out well,” you said, blinking quickly, “everything. For you, me… us. I don’t want to lose you, no matter in whichever way.” Keeping my fingers crossed for these two cuties.

"You might be sleep-drunken, but none of your slumbers will ever be deep enough to keep him from lighting up your veins. Not with his body wrapped around yours. Holding you like a guardian, keeping you close to his heart as you wish him to." This 💕💕

"In the light of the street lamps outside, you see him blinking. He’s biting his lower lip; despite the pain he’s caused you, you don’t think he’s faring any better without your fondness." 🥺🥺🥺 He's definitely not doing better than her yeah. Honestly, I see him going back to his old habits and sleeping with another woman as proof of just that. Clearly he was so affected by her rejection that he sought out the only relief he's ever known. It probably wasn't of much help though :((

"You can’t remember the first time he looked at you as though he orbited you. Like you shone a light into the darkness his heart inhabits. At least that spark of affection must’ve been real." 💕💕

“How did you cope with it then?” you ask." Oh I don't think she really wants to know.

“It hurt.” There’s remorse in his voice. He looks like he wants to reach out; and he sounds sincere. “I was talking about you.” Rid, you have such a talent for writing scenes that make me hold my breath the entire time I'm reading them. Reminds me of the way I felt when cmi OC asked Jungkook about Nara in his car.

"You need to push your negative feelings back. Your thoughts and your doubts. You don’t want to dwell on mistakes but find a way to heal him, and the two of you. Don’t want to think of other women, or the scheme that hurt you." Man, I love her a lot. I hope that she's able to dispel all of her worries and bad thoughts later 🥺

"But… What if the secrets his family hides are too big for you to endure? What if the intrigues are too ominous, too dark for your colourful life? Could you fight through them for him?" I believe in them <3

"Jungkook’s grip finally falls around you, and he straightens his back, ready to step out before he tells you, “Then let’s alleviate the pain.” Whew, I hope he really can at the end of all of this, OC doesn't deserve to hurt.

"He didn’t talk to him much, only barging in when he, to your surprise, rejected your idea to get separate rooms. It’d be cheaper to share one, he said." Mhmmmm, yep. Since both of them are so poor, you know.

"Now that you’ve stepped over the threshold of the room, however, you’re nervy. There is only one bed." 👀👀👀

“I could sing something to you.” Pleaseeeee he's so cute, I'm freaking out.

“Then. Can I hold you?” I'm. freaking. out.

“I do not,” he cuts you off, “I… I am a little selfish.” You almost hear it when he swallows. Maybe he’s feeling as fragile as you do. “…I want to hold you.” I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!

"Sure, there’s the fear of falling deeper into this mess; to lock him deeper in your heart and forbid an escape. Although it might be too late anyway." Fear of pain is so real, especially when the person's hurt you before. But sometimes it's worth risking it. And that goes for the fear of inflicting pain on the other person as well, because that's definitely something that can hold you back too.

"A slight whimper escapes you when he pushes against your body. Your fists clench, and when he notices, he’s quick to inquire, “Too much?” Aaah I love seeing the parts you've teased in the actual story and be able to put them in context!!!

"You thought you were water, cool as ice; and that he was fire, hot-headed and irresistible. You wanted to evaporate with him, but right now, you’re both burning.

Right now, you’re not steam but a wildfire.

He’ll leave you in ashes, and you’ll let him." I love these metaphors every time!

"You grimace. The agony is unbearable — love hurts worse when both hearts are involved but reality keeps pulling them apart." It does it does it does 😭😭😭😭😭

"He robs you of breath when he whispers, “Just you.” As he nuzzles your neck, you lose half your mind; devoid of thoughts when he adds, “And I won’t stop trying.” This man 👏👏👏

"Whenever it dawns on you how realities have broken you within weeks, your cheerful little self, hidden in the depths of your brain, recoils." Poor OC 🥺🥺🥺 she really is the kindest person and doesn't deserve any of this.

"He catches himself before the door finally opens; you’re glad you didn’t keep your fist any lower." Lmaooo

“Suhana should be back by tomorrow afternoon.” She says it casually, but… what is that? Something in her words. In her tone. There’s melancholy, something entirely new; peculiar. You ignore it for now. “You shall say hello then. As old friends.” All of this has me on edge and a bit suspicious, I must say.

"Suhana must be living the life that Jungkook craves." 🥺🥺🥺

"Jungkook grimaces; his face grows redder by the second. “Why am I upset? I— we came a long way. And you did not do a thing we agreed upon! You never do!” This argument is so interesting to me, I really wonder what he means by this exactly, because what have they agreed to do before? It does seem like a little bit of a disproportionate reaction to OC's mistake tbh, so there must be something more that's bothering him.

"And then, quieter than before, you question, “What else did we agree upon? Except this.” Exactly!!!

"He sighs. Your accusations trigger fury in him; you see it in his demeanour. Another glance towards you, eyes piqued; another warning, “Please shut up.” Ooooh he's getting reeeally mad now and yet she's not stopping, which she's honestly fully in her right to do.

“Fuck it.” ‼️‼️‼️‼️

“I mean it. I was,” he says. “And I am.” The way he keeps repeating it I- 👁️👄👁️

"You think he’s imagining something — seeing pictures he needs gone. It’s easy for you to assume such a thing, because you think you look the same when you paint a future without him." This. I'm. I'm seriously speechless.

"And the single word makes the grip around your hair tighter; he whispers a little, “How much longer were we supposed to wait?” before the silken softness of his mouth falls back on yours." The man is completely right!!!

"And perhaps you are ready to fight and endure for him. No matter what the truth may be; what the future might entail.

He, against you, with you, next to you — a cure." Hell yessss! Although I hope she keeps thinking like that later too.

"His body hovers over yours with his signature smirk — it’s a crucial part of him. You used to detest it; grit your teeth at its sight. But today, it relieves you, because you must admit that you missed it." The development!!! Love to see it!!!!

"His eyebrows relax, a smile gracing his features so fondly; something about your adoration, how you deem him unreal must be gratifying to him." I am actually kicking my feet and smiling right now.

"Or maybe, he isn’t used to feeling special. Because somehow, it seems that most of your words catch him off guard, no matter how devotedly you kiss him." 🥺🥺🥺 He is special though 🥺🥺🥺

“Yes,” he immediately answers. “Yes, I think there is.” A peck lands on the corner of your lips. “One where,” another under your mouth, “we can do all of this without hiding. As an official unit. And…” They should get married immediately. I'll officiate at the wedding, of course.

“Be careful,” he delivers delayed, caressing the skin of your limbs; starting at the legs, past your sides, delicately along your arm. “I am finding it hard to do so. So you need to be careful for me.” Wait that's so hot helppp

“What are you doing, hm?” he wants to know. He kisses the spot next to your eye, and it reflexively shuts; so adorable that he combusts. “Princess cannot get enough, yes?” That kiss 😫😫😫 hitting my heart and other parts of my body equally hard lol.

"You don’t know what the future will bring; pain and misery come suddenly. So this is all you can offer; a soft order, a plea to him to keep you sane." Exactly <33

"They were tender; they were fond of you. Their affection was genuine, but so was their pride. Perhaps they thought that asking for preferences was more awkward than having their way and finishing quickly.

But Jungkook isn’t only taking his time with you, but observing your reactions, too." Love to see that!!! Communication is key when you want to please your partner the right way (which you should probably always want to do). As a person who loves to talk everything out before doing it, not even only when it comes to sex, this is literally heaven lmao.

“Sweetheart,” you hear his voice. When he falls back next to you, his fingers settle under your chin, and he says, “Close your mouth.” Lmaooo sameee I feel OC completely.

“I draw. I paint… I need you on a canvas.” This?!?!??! He literally gets impossibly hotter every moment and I don't know how much more I can handle.

"Jeon Jungkook is weak, too — you’re eagerly awaiting his reaction to when you’ll replace those fingers with something else." Hehe so am I.

"But this time, you won’t let yourself stay passive; want him to beg, too." OC is so hot for this too. I don't know who to be more jealous of tbh.

“No,” you say, “better.” She's so hot!!!

"From what you gathered the first time, back in that room before agony striked, he will do it all — you know he will. He is the type to. And his fingers are twitching." He is this exact type, isn't he 😩😩😩

“Memorise those sounds, because you might not hear them again,” Jungkook says, and you look at him with raised eyebrows; his eyes are still closed. “This might kill me.” Lmaoo so dramatic.

"He enjoys the word pretty; for a full minute, he whisper-repeats it like a maniac. Swears and sighs; his exclaims stop making sense." Okay but as I've said before, that's literally my favourite word. And so now I'm laughing because I've done that before so many times just because I love the way it sounds. (Wish it was for the reasons that Jungkook is doing it for instead though lmao)

"So you press a palm against his stomach, still moving your hand up and down the shaft as you order, “Lean back. Calm down.” I love her!!!

"You place a hand under his jaw, looking at him attentively as he stutters, “I di–didn’t know you had it in you… To do such… a thing.” The fact that she has him stuttering!!! I am actually obsessed with OC, she's my new role model.

"He waits. Hesitates. He doesn’t trust you, and the suspicious look lights up your chest. You have never had this much fun in bed before." I was just going to say that this is one of the most entertaining smut scenes I've read. It's so fun and amazing to see OC like this. Like I'm actually in complete awe of her, just like JK is.

“You aren’t already tired, yes?” he teases. You would remark something just as cocky, but you can’t form a word. He’s far better at this thinking thing than you are. “Go on. You can do it.” Literally him stuttering and not being able to speak and his cocky self not being able to shut up are both so hot, I can't pick which is more lethal.

“Do you… compare to anyone, though?” I am totally convinced now that she doesn't.

“No,” he murmurs, shaking his head just a little. “This is me pouring all my desire into you.” He raises the leg he priorly angled, and kisses above your ankle. “All of what I feel for you.”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“You… you liked this one.” Lmaooo understatement of the century.

“You can take it. Once more, my angel.” I will never not fold immediately when that term of endearment is spoken 😫😫😫

"The broken groans, the taut jaw. The hisses and the alternating tone. High and whiny first, deep and enticing later.

The beautiful arch-form of his upper lip, and the plumpness of the lower lip; both parted." That does sound beautiful, damn.

“It just hurts to be observed when I just want to be here. With you. The nights we spent away from balls were the only ones he didn’t see, and I felt… free.

Your guts twist. You hate that you’re the first to provide such a humane feeling; hate that he feels like a caged bird.” 🥺🥺🥺 I also keep drawing parallels between them and the cmi couple and I a hundred percent agree that this is them in a previous life 🥺🥺🥺

“He never lets us out of his sight,” you say, more a statement than a question." Honestly fuck meddling parents or guardians.

“Well, I…” He keeps staring at the ceiling. Blinks and gulps. Admits, “I do like to draw and paint. I wish to finish a big portrait one day.” I would die for artist Koo in any time period 🥺🥺🥺

“I wish I was better at writing,” you tell him." I'm trying not to let out sounds and wake up the whole house but !!!!!!!!!! it's them!!!!!!!

"You chuckle. He’s so warm against you; you should hate it in this summer heat. But he feels comforting. His touch and his encouragement are lovely." Comfort 🥺🥺🥺

“They glow!” you say; your pure, enthusiastic voice makes him laugh. “No, but they do. Why do they? If not for us to admire them. Some find them strange, but I find them wonderful… shows that everyone and everything is worth admiring.

That poetic gene again. You will never stop dreaming; and he will never stop adoring this quality of yours.” This is so precious!!!!

"He breathes hope into his lungs, quieter than before." I love that line a lot for some reason 🥺

"The reality that strokes of pencils paint is fascinating to you. Pictures taken from the mind and eternalised on paper; for someone who has never attempted proper art, creativity of such calibre is mind-blowing to you." Yupppp

"If you had the power to take everyone’s pain…" How many times can I say that she's too cute or precious? It doesn't matter, it won't be enough.

"Red-pink lips press together and then release. Jungkook has a dozen habits, but this is one you find oddly endearing; a smack of his lips, like he’s tasting heaven. The way he looked last night, too." This 🥺 This is why all of my reblogs of your stories are so long, Rid. How am I supposed to not point out every paragraph and little detail when I love them all so much.

"His dangling arms lift and he pushes his hands behind his back, supporting it. Now that he has confirmed the absence of your regrets, he isn't looking at you anymore. You wonder if there’s more that’s bothering him." There's always something bothering him, my sad boy :((

"For a minute, both you and her admire his appetite and manners. The constant praises as though she just invented strawberries herself. She glances at you; her eyes reveal that she deems you lucky, and you throw a proud smile back." One of his cutest habits 🥺🥺🥺 And OC is lucky of course, but so is he!

"The brief silence that follows is awkward; soon broken when she promises, “Oh, no. She won’t be back in a couple of hours, so I will rest just a little for now.” I have a feeling that she won't be back at all ☹️

“Because,” you say, carefully diving into the truth, “I am ready to do anything for you. I want to find my way back to you once and for all, and I want you to heal. And I need to separate him from you. For you to find a family member you can trust.” She wants to help him so bad and I love her for it <3

“If I spoke about an ideal ending,” you say, “then I think that would be it.”

“Good,” he murmurs; his whisper nearly matches yours now. “Good. I want it, as well.” They're so so cute!

“Maybe,” he agrees. “But I do need you, so I can understand what this life thing is. You lead a path to understanding. I’m not as strong as you, you see?” He angles his head. Beautiful even in his grief. “I wouldn’t have found it myself.” Stooooop, that's beautiful :')

"And suddenly, you do realise… It isn’t wrong to need anyone." Mmm, something I still need to learn properly, I think.

"A belief that crumbles just a bit later on. Suddenly and harshly." 😔😔😔

"So you state more than you ask, “She’s not coming.” Yeah 😔

"But tonight serves a bigger purpose. And all the habits you think you knew might come crumbling down; something might change this time." Aaaah I'm excited!

"Jungkook stares from the side; you’re too nervous to notice his fond gaze. You’re always soft-spoken, but the tone you gave your answer in is a melody to his ears." Cuteeee

"But you don’t fully understand her hint until you look at him. He’s beet-red, embarrassed; or possibly just liking your interaction. He looks at you like he’s dizzy.

So, so fond." This is so freaking cute, it has me scrunching my nose, smiling wide and everything

"Not because so many people are watching, but because this purity is a side of him that you’ve grown to cherish. The softness is reserved for you; the doting eyes blend out every light and shadow around you." 💕💕💕💕

“A true angel,” he nods. “You like everyone.”

“Do not call me that.”

“I think you are, though. Fell from the Heavens, but cannot remember.” Oh my goooooooood 🥺🥺🥺 This might be cmi couple in a previous life but in a life before that OC was an actual angel 🥺

"He, of course, doesn’t stop. Turns you in a circle, and then places his hand at the small of your back. Presses in as he says, “You shall get used to the name as you try remembering your celestial life.” Lmaooo he's got jokes.

"And just as quickly, he questions, “Do you reckon we’d meet again?” I'm actually holding back from screaming right now!!! And why are my eyes getting a litttle misty 🥺🥺🥺

"You laugh tenderly. He’s grown used to that sound — repeats it like a lullaby before he falls asleep." I love this line 💕💕💕

“I will be. I need to be until this is over, because it reminds me that I belong to you. Me,” he emphasises, connecting your foreheads. “Of all the hearts that exist, I want you to hold mine.” Eeeeep I'm kicking my feet under the covers.

"You put a palm against Jungkook’s back, and upon noticing the soft touch, his fingers unwrap just a little. Instead, his thumb brushes along your arm, a quiet gesture to signal comfort.

You have so much to say. His grip keeps you grounded; keeps your thoughts from combusting." Ah keeping each other grounded and comforted during a hard but necessary confrontation 🥺🥺🥺

"Maybe because a stranger’s absence hurts you more than a monster’s presence does." OC is so admirable!! I love her so much!!

"The rise of his heavy hand is sudden, and the gasps that sound through the room synchronised." Alright that's it, let me at him 😤😤😤😤

"You feel sorry for him." OC really is better than anyone and an angel because I don't really feel sorry for him 😬😬😬

"Despite his misdeeds and the lack of children you have, you think to understand what loss feels like. Fortunately not because you experienced it, but because you want to understand." Literally so admirable!!! That kind of empathy feels almost non-existent in people 🥺

"But at least for Jungkook, his family and you—

It’s over." My babies are free 😭😭😭

"Peonies, he said, signify healing, and to him, that’s worth far more than innocence. Perhaps, beyond that grave of hers, resting peacefully after a strugglesome life, she could heal alongside him." My sad bby boy, I love him 🥺🥺🥺

"A light smile tugs at his lips, and he says, “I have been trying. I finally gave up everything I needed to, so I could chase what I need to — rather than what I thought I might need.” I'm so proud of both of them 🥺

“But that’s not all there is, is it? My pain.”

“What then?”

“…You.” 😭😭😭😭😭

"At least, you get dangerously close to it soon, barely keeping your heartbeat at bay when he speaks, “I do not want to love alone.” You might throw up. Did he say what you think he said? “So I need to, yes.” This man!!!

"He was never the fire you thought he was before; now, he is. And thinking about it, with him, you grew so much wilder, too — a tsunami, two polar elements clashing." Again, I'm just so so proud of them.

"As you collide, you eventually meet in the middle — and evaporate to steam." Beautiful beautiful beautiful.

I feel like my thoughts on this weren’t as articulate as I'd like them to be, but honestly nothing came to mind but praises and admiration for every paragraph I read. I know you were unsure about this story as a whole from the beginning, but it really did grow into something beautiful and I'm so glad and thankful for all of the work you put into it and that you decided to share it with us <3

candles & flames: steam | jjk (m)

chapter III: steam

Summary: As you travel to unveil secrets, you slowly, surely, find your way back to Jungkook. The final act starts now.

➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader ➳ rating:18+ ➳ genre: enemies to lovers, royal!au; angst, fluff, smut ➳ warnings: talks about hook-ups, arguing and fighting, tears, a very bad uncle, (mention of past) minor character death, jk is hurting, tension, misunderstandings, anger, a slap…, revelations; explicit sexual content: kissing/making out, grinding, brief cockwarming, oral (f. & m. receiving), fingering, teasing, dirty talk, tiddie sucking, he just loves her tatas, slow and rough sex, bits of sub!jk :D and then dom!jk, big dick jk, he comes on her tummyyy, some giggly sex, feelings !!, jk is very vocal, begging, praises, super brief pain kink (?), multiple orgasms. lmk if i forgot something :’) ➳ wc: 34.3k what the actual fck ➳ a/n: here goes the last one. thank you so much for all the love and support, guys. i adore you so much 👑🤍 ➳ a/n2: this is part 3 to my mini-series candles & flames !! find the mpost below<3

SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST MASTERLIST | WIPs

How long have you been sitting on the cushioned seat and forcing your drooping eyelids to remain open now?

Keep reading

#jungkook fic recs #ivi reads

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zafirosreverie · 4 years ago

Text

I already had it all (Carla x reader)

For @midnight-lestrange i hope you like it!

a/n: i didn't put the smut scene here because this was already too long. But let me know if you want me to write it!

a/n 2: I...I really didn't watch Ty's scenes. I just skipped them so, I'm sorry if this was OOC for him. But I won't apologise for anything else bc we all know Carla deserved a girlfriend.

#GiveCarlaAGirlfrendChallenge

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You rolled your eyes and sighed when Carla came into the house crying. You didn't even ask, you already knew the story.

Isis looked at her daughter, then at you and subtly took her grandson's arm to leave you two alone. Jackson didn't even bother to look at his mom as he got up. They said goodbye to you before disappearing into their rooms. You didn't turn to the woman until you saw Jackson close his door.

Carla looked at you for a moment, feeling like a stranger in her own home.

"What did he do now?" you said.

Usually, you'd run to her side, hug her, and let her cry for a while while she sobbed and told you whatever it was that made her fight with Ty at the time. God, how you hated that man.

Not only did he have an amazing woman like Carla at his feet, but he also had the door open for a beautiful (if a bit messy) family. And the only thing that seemed to matter to him was how good was his girlfriend in bed.

Hell, the guy hadn't even bothered to properly introduce himself to the son of the woman he was fucking!! Isis had told you how he had shown up at Christmas, making out with Carla while Jackson just waved from the table.

It made you want to throw up.

Although, the woman was not helping either. Carla was your best friend, she had been for years! She was the first to welcome you to the spa, the one who made you laugh at your worst and made you do stupid things when she took you to the bar.

You loved spending time with her.

But Ty...he had changed her. You didn't want to be unfair to him, but since he hadn't bothered to introduce himself to you either, you'd still hate him. Well...you would hate him even if he turned out to be a nice guy, because he had what you couldn't.

You weren't sure exactly when you started falling in love with your best friend, but you did. For months you had become aware of how much you loved her, how much you wanted to be with her at every possible moment, how butterflies flooded your stomach when you heard her laugh, how your cheeks would blush when you were too close to her. You loved everything about her.

And everything that came with the woman. You got along wonderfully with Isis, who was seriously trying to be a better mother to her daughter. And you couldn't even begin to describe the love you felt for Jackson. That boy was a treasure! And it broke your heart that most seemed to prefer to ignore him.

"Y/N, are you even listening to me?" Carla's voice brought you back to the present.

"No" you admitted, looking straight at her "Not really"

Carla looked at you as if you had grown another head. She didn't expect you to say that. The woman didn’t know what was happening with you lately, you were usually tender, kind and supported her in everything. But in the last few weeks, you have become more distant and cold.

Although only with her. It seemed that the further you got away from Carla, the closer you got to Isis. She didn't want to admit it, but she felt a pang of jealousy and fear that her mother was stealing her...her best friend. It didn't make a lot of sense, but...

"Break up with him" you said suddenly

"What?" she blinked

"Break up with Ty" you repeated "Carla, he's not good for you. He's hurting you."

"That is not true"

"Then why did you come crying?" you crossed your arms

"You would know if you had listened to me" she told you, crossing her arms too

"I'm not talking about just now and we both know it" you said "This has been going on for weeks Carla!"

"It's not true" she insisted

"It's a routine at this point. You go out with him, disappear for hours, Jackson calls me to go get him, I stay here until you come back with tears in your eyes, I listen to you, you ‘break’ with him for a few days and then he smiles and you fall again. We all know the routine Carla! Isis doesn't even risk burning the kitchen anymore! She just waits until I get home to make dinner"

"Mom dines with you?" she asked, feeling that terror and jealousy build up inside her.

"And with Jackson" you reminded her.

"Since when?"

"Since you started ditching them for Ty, but that's not the point!" you frowned "The point is that you are no longer you, Carla, and it's his fault"

"That is not true!" she growled "I'm as me as ever"

"No" you said to her "The Carla I knew loved herself, wanted to rebuild a relationship with her mother and loved her son above everything else. The Carla I knew made jokes about Jackson, but it was to prevent others from doing it. My Carla would never have let a man make her cry. "

The woman froze a bit when you called her "My Carla." The heat in her chest returned, like every time you said something nice about her.

"Y/N-"

"No" you interrupted her "You're going to listen to me Dunkler! Because I'm sick of seeing you arrive like this! I'm sick of that idiot using you for your body and you letting him. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he really feels something for you, but until he does a better job proving it, I won't change my mind. I'm also sick of seeing him take you away from your family. You said you wanted a better relationship with your mother, but Isis hasn't seen you properly in days. Ty hasn't even tried to get closer to Jackson, the SON of the woman he supposedly loves, to get to know him better! "

Carla looked at you in surprise. This was a whole new side. You have never lost your cool this way. And she hated herself for finding it a little hot.

"He's the only one who has really stayed with me for more than one night, Y/N" she said weakly. She knew it was a terrible reason, but it was the truth.

"So you will just let him do what he wants because you're afraid of being alone?!" you asked incredulous

"No! I-I really like him!" she said but it felt like a huge lie and that...that surprised her

"It's not fair Carla" you continued "It is not fair that you offer him all this! It is not fair that he has at his disposal a child as wonderful as Jackson and a mother-in-law as great as Isis. It is not fair that he has such a wonderful woman like you, a beautiful, hardworking and brave woman. He doesn't deserve you "

"You keep saying that because you don't know what it's like to be alone for so long! You don't know what it's like to feel like you're not enough for anyone!"

"I DO!" you yelled

"No you don't!" she yelled back at you "You are so perfect and cute and you have everyone at your feet! You can have whoever you want! So no, you don't know what it's like not to be enough for someone!"

"I do it because I've never been enough for you!" you growled "Because you've never seen me as anything more than a friend! And I hate you for that! I hate you because you come and flirt with me and then you go with him! I hate you because you gave him everything I've ever wanted! I hate him because he has what I can't have! AND I HATE YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T REALLY HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOVE YOU AND YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE IT!!!"

Carla froze in her place, staring at you. Her mind had gone blank. It took you a few moments to realize what you had said and you gasped as the realization hit you. You had confessed your feelings to her in the worst possible way. Shit.

"...I'd better go" you said hastily

You took your bag and took advantage of the fact that the woman still looked surprised to quickly pass her, almost running out of the house and to your car.

Carla just watched you go, not knowing what to do or what to think. What the fuck had just happened?

_________________

You cried all the way home. You cursed yourself a thousand times for being such an idiot. How could you do that? You had promised to always be there for her and now you had ruined everything! There was no way in the world that Carla could forgive you for this.

_________________

"Still here?" Isis asked, making her daughter jump "You've been staring at the wall for the last hour."

Carla frowned and turned her gaze away.

"Come on, get your fucking ass up and do something!" Isis insisted

"About what?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me. Jackson and I heard everything."

"What? Did you spy on us?" Carla asked a little angry

"Of course not! Your screams were heard throughout the house. I'm sure the neighbors heard too"

Carla blushed and looked at the ground before taking another gulp of her beer. Isis rolled her eyes and snatched it away.

"Ey!"

"Get out of here!"

Carla sighed "What do you want me to do? All that doesn't change anything"

"You're a terrible liar" the older woman scoffed "You've been drowning in your own misery since before I came back. You settled for that idiot just to not be left alone and now that you have a chance to have someone better, you will stay here getting drunk? I'm disappointed "

"Disappointed? It's something you would do yourself" Carla scoffed

"It's not true" Isis said, not bothered by her daughter's words "I would at least fuck her first"

"Mom!"

"What? She's pretty, she has a good body and-"

"Stop it! I don't need to hear my mother talk about how sexy my best friend is"

"Then pick up your sorry butt and go get her" she said, smiling at her daughter's jealous tone "You have the key to her house, use it"

"Mom-"

"I'll keep talking about her body if you don't. Did you know that she has a couple of moles near her right boobie? I loaned her a blouse once and-"

"And I'm leaving" Carla jumped up, taking her keychain

"I'm staying with Jackson, don't come back later" Isis winked

_____________________

You frowned when you heard the front door open. You were sure you had locked it. Your heart raced and you felt fear wash over you as you came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around your body.

You grabbed a baseball bat that was near your bedroom door (thank goodness you were training with Jackson) and walked slowly down the hall to the living room.

"Y/N?"

You froze before frowning.

"Carla? What are you doing here?"

The woman looked you up and down and you blushed when her eyes stopped for a moment on your chest. She cleared her throat before speaking again.

"I wanted to talk to you but maybe I should wait until you don't have a bat in your hand" she teased lightly

You noticed that you were still holding the wooden stick tightly in your hand. Blushing even more, you leaned it against the wall. When you turned around again, you saw that your friend had approached and she was a few inches from you. You swallowed audibly.

All the way here, Carla had thought and gone over the words she would say to you, she had planned a whole speech for you, and god knows she hated speeches. But she had got her entire cassette erased by seeing you like this.

It was the first time she had admitted to herself that she really found you attractive. A part of her began to wonder if the whole Ty thing hadn't also been in part not to acknowledge her feelings for you.

"Carla?" you mumbled after a while

"Sorry" she jumped a little "I-"

"No, no. I'm sorry" you said "You didn't have to come here to tell me to stay away. You could have sent a message-"

"Why would I tell you to stay away?" she asked with a frown.

You blinked. An hour and she had already forgotten what you had said? You should be grateful, but it honestly hurt you.

"What I said at your house, I...I shouldn't have done it" you sighed

"So it wasn't true?" she asked carefully "Was everything you said a lie?"

"No!" You almost screamed "I just...it wasn't the way and I- I didn't mean to-"

Carla smiled slightly as she watched you babble in front of her. God, how had she not realized how adorable you were? Your lower lip was even trembling.

But she knew you. She knew that once you got flustered and started babbling, there was no stopping you. And she didn't have the time for that, no matter how beautiful you looked doing it. So she only had one option.

You gasped when your friend pounced on you, pressing you against the wall and kissing you deeply. Her hands immediately went to your hips and you moaned against your will when she pressed her chest against yours.

It took you a few moments to recover, but you wrapped your arms around her neck when you did, returning the affection. You didn't know what would happen when you’d ran out of air and had to talk, but to hell with that. You would enjoy the fact that she was kissing you, as you had wanted for so long.

If there was one thing Carla hated more than people themselves, it was having to talk about her feelings, especially this kind. So when you broke the kiss, her mouth immediately traveled to your neck.

You moaned a little when you felt her tongue on your skin. You wanted to continue, you needed to feel her, let her take you right there, but there was still a hideously rational part of you. So you pushed her gently, making her look at you.

"I love you" you whispered "...but I can't be another one of your one night stands"

The woman's heart broke a little when she looked into your eyes. She saw the fear you were feeling, but she also saw love. Love directed at her. No one had ever looked at her like that, not her ex husband, not Ty, no one.

"You aren’t" she promised

"Carla-"

"I swear you are not" she interrupted you. Suddenly, her brain seemed to wake up and the words she had practiced in the car fell out of her mouth "I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry I was so stupid. I was so afraid of being alone, of not deserving of anyone, that I ended up accepting the first thing I could. But now I know that I love you "

"You're lying" you whispered "You...don't feel that way about me"

"I do" she promised

"And why didn't you say anything before?"

"I was scared. I took you for granted, because you were always there for me, no matter what. I ignored my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, the jealousy when I saw you too close to my mother. I didn't want to admit how I felt about you. And I didn't realize that I already had everything I ever wanted in front of me. I'm sorry. "

You looked into her eyes, searching for any trace of lies or mockery. But you didn't find it. She was telling the truth, she reciprocated your feelings.

You smiled at her and pulled her to you for another deep kiss. This time it was she who moaned against your mouth. The two of you poured all your feelings into that kiss, all the tension that you didn't even know had built up between you two.

Carla pulled away and felt a twinge of pride when she saw your swollen lips and the blush that ran from your cheeks to your neck. God you were beautiful.

"Carla I-"

"Shhh, no" she shut you up "you know I suck at this and that I hate romanticism. I already used up what little self-control I had"

You laughed a bit and she wiped away the tears you didn't even know had started to fall down your cheeks. She kissed you again and her hands lifted the towel a little over your thighs.

"Carla-"

"My mother has unsettlingly clear ideas about your body" she said abruptly "Something about lending you a blouse?"

"Oh...that" you laughed nervously "Yeah.. maybe I tried it on in front of her" you admitted

"Well, thank you very much, now I have to live with the knowledge that my mother has seen more of my girlfriend's body than I have."

"Girlfriend?" you smirked

Carla froze. Her cheeks quickly turned red and her eyes couldn't meet your face.

"I-I, w-well, I mean, m-maybe I should have waited a little longer, I-I just thought that-"

You cut her adorable and nervous babbling with a deep kiss that she happily returned.

"Take me to bed, then we discuss the status of our relationship" you said

"Deal"

_________________________

Isis smirked behind her beer when Carla groaned as you and Jackson yelled at her to run. She had no idea how you had managed to convince her to play with you, but here you were.

She suspected that it had little to do with being a "good mother to her son" and more to do with the shorts you were wearing. Either way, Isis was happy that her daughter found what she had been searching for so long.

You laughed when your girlfriend came back to your side with the ball in her hand. Her face was red from exhaustion and she was already sweating. She grunted a little but you pecked her lips to calm her down.

"I really hate this game" she muttered

"It doesn't matter, your girlfriend and your son love it. You'll get used to it" you joked.

You were about to kiss her again when you saw a figure walking towards you. You frowned and your grip tightened on the bat. Carla looked at you confused before following your gaze. She froze when she saw Ty walking towards you two with a bouquet of roses.

"I guess we got to the part where you forgive him" you whispered.

She looked at you and frowned. She intertwined her fingers with yours and kissed you on the cheek.

"Never again" she promised you.

You smiled at her and the two of you waited for Ty to be in front of you. The man looked at Carla, then at your hands and then back at Carla, completely ignoring you.

"We can talk?" He asked her

"No" she answered firmly

"Listen Carla, I made a mistake-"

"Me too" she cut him off "I made the mistake of being with you. To forgive you several times when I knew you would fail me again. No more. Get out of here"

"But-"

"You listened to the lady, buddy. Get out!" You grunted.

"Uh...and you are?" he asked, finally looking at you.

You felt his eyes run up and down your body, stopping a little on your legs. It made you want to throw up and by the way Carla squeezed your hand, you knew she hadn't liked it either. Not one bit.

"My girlfriend" she told him

"Girlfriend?" he scoffed "I thought you didn't want to see more vagi-"

You pointed the bat at his face before he could finish the sentence.

"Unlike you, I know how to use this" you growled "Get out of here before I use your head as a ball"

"You wouldn't" he smiled at you "Hey, there's no need to fight, you two are beautiful and I'm fabulous. Why don't we just put this in bed and be happy?"

You were about to insult him when Carla took the bat from you and used it to hit him hard in the balls. The man doubled over in pain before falling to the ground. You didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him.

"This butt is mine" Carla growled, releasing your hand and grabbing one of your buttocks to draw you closer to her "And nobody else's. If you get close to me or my family again, I'm going to hit a home run with your balls"

You held back your laughter and let her drag you out of there, leaving the poor man lying on the ground.

Carla yelled something about going for ice cream, causing Jackson to run to the car. Isis, unlike you, laughed the whole way. You smiled and took one last look at the roses that were now on the ground.

“That was hot” you whispered to her. Carla smiled and pecked your lips.

Her hand never left your ass until you got in the car.

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KH’s tags: @midnight-lestrange @emilyprentissslut @mochiadria

#x reader #reader insert #imagine #carla dunkler x y/n #carla dunkler imagine #carla dunkler x reader #carla dunkler #carla x reader #bad moms #gay for kathryn hahn #kathryn hahn imagine #kathryn hahn x reader #givecarlaagirlfriendchallenge

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vemuabhi · 4 years ago

Text

Disney Romance - Cinderella’s Bird - 200 followers special

@littlesniggy said : Hey you! Now it's my turn to request something! Kida sad you don't write for Akainu but I can understand 😂 He's an asshole! If it hasn't been requested yet, would you do Mulan/Cinderella with Kid x female reader? I'm super excited which one you choose/ if you choose it at all! Thank you!

A/N : Omg thankyou so much for sending an ask @littlesniggy san!!! I am so excited to answer this for you! I loved writing for the grumpy boy. This was really a beautiful experience writing this for Eustass KIdd. Please don’t have high expectations for this.

Warning : A big fic written by me. But has a happy ending.

Word count : 2.7K

I hope you like it!

XOXOXOXO

“Why the hell should I get married now?”, you complained to your Robin who always was beside you, she was a maid but you always admired her and always treated her like a friend not like a maid.

Robin sighed and patted your head as she took the place beside you on the bed. “I should have the choice when I want to get married. Not some jerk who is randomly selected by my parents”, you scoffed and plopped back on the soft burgundy-coloured bedsheets. Robin gave you a sad smile and said, “That’s true. I too believe that marriage should be for Love”

Being a princess isn’t easy. Every girl dream to be a princess but its not as beautiful like the fairy tales are. You are a live example for that. Not once you could decide for yourself. Even the big puffy yellow gown you were wearing was not of your choice. The corset was killing you inside. You wanted to rip it off and throw it out of your window. With language classes, you always had dance classes, tea sessions, music classes. Everything that was chosen by your parents, was practically forced upon you.

‘What kind of lunatic needs to learn how to drink tea?’, you cursed the tea sessions when ever you were being called to it. All you did was brew tea and drink during the whole time. The music classes were always a hectic. You wanted to learn an instrument but when you were given another. Your wishes were denied because who cares about your dreams? In the beginning even dance classes were troublesome, But you tried to put up with all those demands of your parents. In return they are now trying to get you married as soon as possible.

“I’m done with this Robin”, you spoke and got up. “I’ll do whatever I want”, your voice was stern and Robin was curious on what you were about to do.

“Cancel todays classes, I’ll be going to visit the town to relieve my stress”, you announced briskly walking towards the closet.

“Are you sure your highness? But how can you go alone? You must have someone wit-”

“Robin! Its fine. I can take care of myself”, you didn’t let her finish her sentence. Throwing your corset on the floor and dressing up like a maid didn’t take long enough. You made your way towards the secret passage in the palace and exited the palace. Even though Robin was worried, she had to stay back in the castle to make sure no one notices your leaving.

The town and the market were as lively as ever and you walked around the place. As you kept walking, you saw a couple who looked very much in love. You felt a bit envious of them. At least the commoners had the freedom to do what they like. As you were walking aimlessly in the market, you bumped into a tall buff guy.

“Oh I’m sorry”, after apologising you thought of leaving but it didn’t go well.

“Hey! How can you go away like that?” the man started to fight with you. As you felt the very heavy scent of alcohol hit your nostrils, you knew that this man was heavily drunk.

“What? I apologised so what’s your problem now?” you questioned as your dominant hand slowly reached for the sword hidden in your skirt.

“You bitch how dare you speak back to me?” he raised his hand to land a hit on you but just when you were about to take out the sword, his had was stopped mid-air. You then saw a man who had red hair. As soon as the jerk saw that man, it seemed like his senses came back to him again.

“Asshole! Didn’t I tell you this is my shop and never make a scene in front of it”, the man shouted at the rogue twisting his arm. He winced in pain as he apologised and ran away.

The red haired man went into a shop, what seemed like a shop of vegetables and fruits. ‘Was he a farmer?’, you thought and followed him. Looking inside, there were so many fresh vegetables and also fruits in the shop.

“What do you want?”, a sharp voice questioned making you turn towards the owner of the voice. It was the same red head from before.

“Uh, I… I’m here to buy”, you said and looked around again trying to seem convincing. He huffed and sat on a chair fiddling with something which seemed like a machine. Your interest perked up and you asked him, “What are you making?”, moving closer to take a peek at the machine.

“Why should I tell you?”, he spat but as he looked at your face, he noticed that your eyes were sparkling with curiosity and interest.

“Tsk”, he clicked his tongue and explained about the way he wanted to make a machine bird as you listened to him carefully. He kept telling you how helpful machines would be if used in the correct way.

“But, don’t you think, this material you are using to make this bird is kinda… cheap and looks like its gonna break soon?”, you questioned for which he frowned and replied, “Don’t you think I already know that? I… I just don’t have the money”, mumbling the last part.

“Oh! I got an idea. Listen to me, uhh..”

“Eustass Kidd”

“So, Kidd As this bird is still in the beginning process, I’ll bring you the material tomorrow. Till then don’t touch this. Okay now I need to leave. I’ll be taking this basket here”, you said and took a basket of strawberries and tossed a coin to him.

“HEY WAIT!! YOU DIDN’T EVE- and she’s gone”, still with that grumpy look Kidd took his screw driver to continue working on the bird. But he remembered you telling him to wait till tomorrow. So he sat back in his chair and exhaled.

“Its not because she told me to wait. I… I want to continue this tomorrow”, he huffed and folded his hands. Then he remembered about the coin you threw.

He opened his palm and his eyes widened as he looked at the coin. It was a gold coin. A freaking gold coin for a basket of strawberries.

“No way. What the heck is she thinking?”, he carefully placed it back in the locker and thought to give it back to you tomorrow.

At the castle you came back and continued with your remaining day. You should leave tomorrow. So you need to make plans.

“Robin I need you to do something for me”, you explained how you needed high quality metal and also the timings of classes to be shifted. So, it did happen and you had continuous morning classes without breaks but, you were a free after them and it made you to take material Kidd wanted to make the bird. Changing out from your attire of a princess you went to the same shop as yesterday. There you found the man coming towards you as if he was waiting for you all along.

“I got the material you need”, you said as you placed it beside his table where the bird was supposed to be made.

“Were you waiting for me? Sorry I was late”, you said and he instantly replied, “Wha- Who was waiting for you?”

“Ah ok”, you muttered as you saw him instantly looking and taking the material with a faint pink shade on his cheeks. He looked just like a child exited to play with his toys.

“Where the hell did you even get these? These are clearly expensive?”, his sudden questions made your thoughts to break.

“Ah… I got it from the Kings dumpster”, you made the blankest expression trying to hide your lie.

“Kings Dumpster?! The King threw away this metal when it’s like this?”, he asked as his brows raised when you just nodded.

“Tsk… and here I am, trying to get re-rid of rust from metal. Using them for the 100th time”, he huffed.

You both sat opposite to each other and he worked on the bird as you learned about the work he was doing. Helping him with giving the appropriate tool at times, you had more fun than you ever had in your life. He tried to return the gold coin but you didn’t take it and made a deal to take vegetables or fruits in return, for which he agreed. You both fist bumped as an agreement of the deal.

From that day, you made your way out of the castle to meet Kidd. Surprisingly, he always waited for you to come to work on the bird. Meanwhile he somewhere started to call you little lady and you actually liked it. It became a routine for you to take a basket of veggies or fruits every time you left the shop. Sometimes he’d you’d tag along with him to his small farm. He was totally proud of his farm. His eyes showed it. Where you knew you never felt that feeling that he was feeling. Never once in your life you felt you were proud of something you did. He was living a complete different life than yours. You found your heart skip a beat every time Kidd smiled. You liked him.

Kidd was unique. He was terrible in showing his emotions but he was a good person. Every time you left the castle for him, seemed right. You actually felt happy seeing him and working with him. But of course, this happiness didn’t last long. Your parents wanted you to get married soon and told you to pick a groom for yourself in the ball that is going to be hosted next week. Bloody next week.

Because of the ball, you had to take even more classes for walking like a princess and also more fashionistas coming to find the perfect gown for you. Due to those, you couldn’t meet Kidd for 4 days.

Meanwhile, Kidd waited for you staring at the front door of his shop. Whenever the door opened, he met with disappointment because it wasn’t you. He couldn’t even continue on his bird. He had doubts on his feelings for you but now, it was clear for him that he liked you. Your thoughts haunted him. His heart earned for you. Only for you to return.

After a long hard day of work, you sneaked out of the castle in the evening and went to Kidd’s shop. You opened the door and your eyes met with Kidds. You both stared at eachother for a few seconds before he spoke.

“Come in”, you obliged and walked into the shop towards the desk where you both made bird. It was just like it was 3 days ago. “You didn’t continue to make the bird?”, you inquired as he just turned away and shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.

“Kidd, its late and I have to leave soon so listen to me”, his vision shifted to you as he gulped.

“But you just came, why do you have to leave?” he asked as he approached you and placed his hands on your shoulder.

“Aww did you miss me?” you tried to tease him but this time, he neither denied nor looked away from you blushing. He stayed silent for a while before he said, “I did”

You didn’t even expect that from Kidd. His hands travelled down from your shoulders to your hands. “I did miss you. So much that I couldn’t even touch that bird”, He looked serious. He placed one hand on your chin and looked into your eyes.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think your thoughts would haunt me that much when you didn’t come. I… I didn’t know when, why or how. But I know that, I have feelings for you little lady”, his voice trembled as he spoke the last bit.

“Kidd are you serious?” you asked placing a hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch and nodded. His eyes looked desperate for your answer. Pulling him towards you, you connected your lips with his. The kiss was gentle and with so much of emotion.

Both pulled away to look into each other’s eyes. “I have feelings for you too Kidd”, you smiled and Kidd’s face lit up making you smile in return. He leaned and touched your forehead with yours and exhaled with relief. “Can I request you something Kidd?”, you asked and he nodded.

“Can you come to the castle this coming Wednesday?”

“To the castle? Why?”

“There is a ball going to be held and I want you to come”, you said and stepped back, away from his touch. “Now it’s my turn to wait for you, I should tell you something. So please come”, the last part sounded more like a pleading and with that you left the shop.

Kidd didn’t knew why you had to leave so early. His heart was beating so fast. Confused whether whatever happened now was real or not. He sat on his chair unable to remove your pleading face from earlier. Kidd looked at the bird which was unfinished and took the screw driver to continue working on it. Its been a while since he alone worked on something. It wasn’t a new feeling for him but still, he preferred to talk and have you around while he made it.

The day of the ball arrived. You wore your outfit and looked out the window at the crowd of people came to the castle. Men and women from so many places arrived there. With the help of Robin you made sure that when Kidd comes, he wouldn’t be stopped by any of the guards. The time was almost running out. The first dance was supposed to be started soon but you couldn’t find Kidd anywhere.

Your parents were urging you to find a partner and start the first dance. ‘So Kidd isn’t coming’, you thought and tilted your head up to prevent the tears falling out from your eyes. You pinched your skin trying to distract the pain away. Stepping on the ball room in your burgundy coloured dress, you walked with a straight face. Then suddenly your eyes fell on a person, who was trying to not be visible in the crowd but, his hair was definitely saying otherwise. You swiftly made your way towards that person.

People cleared way for you and it didn’t take long for you to meet the person with the red hair. He was wearing golden coloured suit and his hair was combed back neatly. He looked different but it was him. His cheeks turned the same colour of his hair. You chuckled and took his hand, pulling him towards the middle of the ball room. You placed your hands on his shoulder and pulled him closer to you. His hand trembled before he placed it on your waist. With that the music played and you both danced, with other people also dancing.

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“How could I? You are a princess and why didn’t you tell me you were a princess?”

“Would you even talk to me like you did if you knew I were a princess?”

“That’s… true but… now here I am, with the princess Y/N in my arms”, he said pulling you closer. You giggled and pushed back the strand of hair which was on his forehead. You both smiled at each other and continued dancing. After the first dance, he pulled you away from the ball room and you followed. He walked towards the garden where no one was and took out something from under the bench.

“What did you bring?”, you asked. He turned and showed it to you. Your eyes went wide looking at the bird that he brought.

“You made her at last!” you exclaimed as he looked down shyly. “Yeah kind of made it. I wanted to show it to you today”

“I love it so much”, you said as you took it in your hands. It was your memory. The time you spent making it with Kidd. It was precious to you two.

“Keep it. It’s yours now”, he said as he smiled.

“Really?! I will take care of it so well”, you replied and jumped on him making him catch you quickly. You looked at him and leaned in for kissing him again. Now, it was passionate. No one to intrude as you were alone. Smiling you pulled back and leaned your forehead with his.

You now found a grumpy man, who would understand you and would really be the reason for you to smile.

Made with picrew

XOXOXOXO

I hope you liked it. Thankyou for reading.

A comment, Like/Vote, Reblog/Share would be appreciated!!

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weaselbeaselpants · 2 years ago

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Do you want to know why we don't trust Starlatte and are frustrated with her as we are? It's not because of her age or her trauma or who and why she got into a fight over. I personally don't care for Petit' and whatthehazbin tbh and I know nothing about what the real beef between Star and Cherry is so I aint talking like I know that shit-

It's because Star felt the need to lie to us and absolutely doubled down on it being OUR FAULTS that she didn't admit to who she was. And this was when she was 18.

Around sometime last year a blog appeared on the Hazbin-critical scene called @oh-god-dude. I liked them a lot, tho I did wonder if they were Starlatte from back when considering I did know Star got in some kind of discourse and decided to leave because of that. A lot of us liked/still do like stuff about Star and def @oh-god-dude they were real good at making a nice read. If they were Star, I was expecting her to finally just say "yep it me, I'm back guys heey" and move on. She did do this, but only AFTER being caught. Crows-critique, another active blog at the time who didn't really know abt Star outside of the rumor that she lied abt her age, eventually blocked Oh-God-Dude because Oh-god-dude had said previously they weren't Star and assured us this...only to I guess come clean when it was unavoidable.

but not before blocking Crow after seeing they liked something from and then complaining that Crow had blocked them, leaving out the part where they had initially lead us to believe they weren't Starlatte-

Star/Oh-God-Dude is right that ppl in the critical-fandom spaces are prone to acting like children and are very quick to believe the worst and instablock for what someone says about another person, the problem was Crow didn't know OGD was Starlatte until OGD decided to admit to it, after having assured people that they definitely weren't who they actually were. We felt tricked.

^ this confession, right here, is why I and everybody else is mad at Star.

I get that she was only just now an adult. I'm totally willing to believe that disability thing with the mistyping- it happens.

But why, why didn't she just say to us "I'm Star, please don't block me it was a misunderstanding I'm starting FRESH and trying to be better now+I'm older anyway" instead of use oh-god-dude to pretend to be another person? That was fishy as hell. I know for certain Oh-God-Dude was saying they weren't Star because another critical blog at the time assured me "nah, she told me she wasn't"- only to be hit with the above bombshell like me.

Starlatte/oh-god-dude lied to us. They lied to us on the Hazbin-World discord server, they lied to us on tumblr. They are not a child now and can not be acting like this. They should be 19 and I think I have their still active (not Hazbin-related) blog which states they are 19. (if that's not her, sorry random 19 yo with name the similar username)

Every blog I've spoken to abt Star mentions how upset they were to be suddenly blocked, then unblocked, then blocked again and ghosted and then treated like THEY were the problem alone in their encounter. People thought oh-god-dude was their friend and I think a lot more people than they realize believe Star and/or take her side, especially before the oh-god-dude confession was made. But, because Star lied to people, that's what pushed us away and made us hope she'd found a better niche than the critical fandom. After oh-god-dude basically said who she was but didn't care to tell us she was sorry for lying and just went silent...frankly I was willing to believe some of the more wild stuff said abt Star.

One thing I remember whatthehazbin saying back in the day was Star had 'apparently been a butthurt stalker of Viv and wanted her writing to be in Hazbin itself'. Upon reflection, I THINK this was whatthehazbin getting Star mixed up with thetoytaker/LincarRox, another user on the Tapatalk forums who def was a butthurt Viv stalker. Sadly, I didn't put that together earlier this week when I messaged a recently deactived user abt this. I tried to explain what I knew abt the situation with Star, but they got curious, asked around and found Star and believed her side of the story alone and in the end was scared away from the critical sphere and took down their blog and their new discord server. I feel bad for misrepresenting Star based on the viewpoint of a person I otherwise don't even like to this newly-gone blog, but I will not apologize for being mad and not trusting Star on my own. I will not apologize to Star for mischaracterizing other people and doubling down on us being the problem.

((***I also really hope this google doc by Star was written years ago and not recently, @woomycritiques543, because if it is-

No. She's not. The other personal blog she links within this document says she's nineteen. I will take this part down when and if it's proven that this is an oold post from w she was 17***))

"We" (me, the other 'big names' in the HH/HB critical #s who I'm not @ing just in case) are not "stalking" Star, @woomycritiques543. I am not stalking Star. I've always felt bad for Star and it hurt so much to be lied to by her, especially when there's no reason for her to have lied to us. Star is right that antis are a bitch

but no amount of other people being wrong will make what she did and won't fess up to as an adult okay. Since she obv is so young, she's got room to improve all over. Like Vivzie herself, Star needs to learn which of her 'critics' really are out for her and which are people who are otherwise her viewers who may be upset by her actions. Since I know for certain Star was on the Tapatalk BWW forums for Hazbin and got mixed up with LincarRox personally (I saw it happen, I used to browse those forums) I can believe she's got some bad ppl who are out for her.

That's not me. That's not the rest of the spindlehorse-critical tag. If she were honest with us and didn't blacklist us and then complain that we blacklist everybody else- there wouldn't be a problem.

Ok so...

I got in contact with Starlatte, and she send me this two hours ago:

Yeah.... that was a ton and a half to take in. Either way, shit's getting out of hand, and regardless of whatever takes this kid had, you people are still stalking them?! Seriously?! Because I checked, and the worst she did was have petty arguements and support anti h blogs over three years ago. Otherwise, there's legit no "reason" to go after her blog anymore! Hell, there's never a "reason"! Stalking and harassing a kid is fucked no matter how many contexts that you try to explain your actions. This isnt holding who she was (not is) accountable, its just going after some kid you met on Tumblr a few years ago and getting entertainment off of it while simatainously being desperate for said kid's attention. It's pathetic.

Who someone is in the past and who they are now isnt the same person. Especially- if she already moved on years ago! But that's it. No more of the "What The Hazbin, Cherri, Petitit Princess" garbage or whatever is going to be on this blog. I want no involvement with any of these people, none of their petty bullshit, and would rather just stay out of the "anti hazbin" lane entirely. I wont be involved, I dont want to be involved- and frankly, im done with being involved with any of this "drama" (stalking) as to give this any more attention would just be a complete waste of my time. IM DONE.

#helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical

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the-ghost-king · 4 years ago

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So I'm not going to start like an Anti-Chiron tag because I don't find that enjoyable personally, but every so often people ask why I dislike him so here's essentially a "masterpost" of my thoughts on that situation for when anyone asks, just so I have it to explain some...

This isn't nearly a full list, and there's many more "incidents" that make me less than fond of Chiron, I don't hate the old man but he leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I'm not a fan of that. He's a very twisted character.

- The Lightning Thief

This quote is literally just after Percy's mom "dies", they're all sitting on the porch of the Big House right after he's finally woken up after days of sleeping, and that's the line Chiron pulls out on him.

That's straight up emotional manipulation which was entirely unnecessary in the context of what Chiron was trying to explain. There wasn't a single reason for that, in the slightest.

Immediately following that, and Percy, who canonically has anger issues, does his best to remain calm, he is immediately threatened by Dionysus, and Chiron doesn't even tell Dionysus off for doing that; Chiron just let's it happen. It's Grover who has to speak up to tell Dionysus off...

The only reason Chiron comes out looking like a old guy in this scene is because Dionysus was so much worse in his behavior, at one point intimidating Percy with his power over madness.

- The Titan's Curse

This is the aftermath of when Nico ran away upon confirmation of Bianca's death. When Percy is telling Chiron about the situation, Chiron wishes Nico had been eaten alive rather than recruited into an army.

He'd rather a child be dead than fight against him, and he openly tells this to other children he's in charge of. If Percy went missing would he have said "I hope he was eaten <3" as well?

I don't blame Perry for not delivering the truth here, it was done in an effort to protect Nico; which wasn't something Annabeth had planned on doing... I don't blame Annabeth for that though either, she's been beneath Chiron so long that she probably doesn't realize the shady stuff he does, and to her "going to tell" probably was the "right" move because she was a child...

But the fact that Chiron believes Nico truly would be better off eaten than alive :/

- Tower of Nero

This quote from Tower of Nero shows that Chiron lied to a bunch of young children (most of them were young because the older campers are largely dead because of the war or too old for camp now). It wasn't just a little white lie that adults sometimes tell kids either; they were walking into battle and he told them it was a field trip.

Did he even begin to explain the danger he was putting these kids in? Did the children understand their situation? And how dangerous it was?

Kayla has been blindsided over the years into thinking that telling children they're going on a field trip instead of fighting a battle is something to make a joke of and not be questioned... (Again, I don't blame her she's only like 12 in the book, but still)

Apollo also agrees, which isn't on Chiron but it's a whole mother reason why I can't stand Rick's interpretation of Apollo...

<><><><><>

This isn't me being like "oh Chiron is the worst most evil character ever" I just think that he has numerous flaws which are largely ignored in favor of the "perfect wise teacher" narrative when in fact Chiron and Dumbledore share a lot of.. Offputting qualities.

I do think that some of the situation is simply a result of Chiron having his hands tied behind his back by the gods some. And he even goes so far as to confirm this in a scene of TLT

However many of the scenes in which he exhibits behaviors like that in my first three screenshots are not related to anything the gods require and are, in fact, of Chiron's own free will.

Some things I would blame Zeus and the council for, such as how he withholds information from Percy to an excessive amount for long periods of time even when Percy straight up asks about things. I could easily see that being Zeus trying to prevent Percy from claiming the prophecy as his own, and I could see reasoning that maybe Chiron had sworn over the River Styx or something similar.

But those things don't apply to Chiron making such an unnecessary comment about Percy's mother so close to her "death". It doesn't explain why he would say he hoped Nico had been eaten out loud, and it doesn't cover the fact that he led children into a battlefield without telling them that's what was happening.

I think the context of Chiron's choices and comments would be different if the campers were older. If they were in their late teens or early twenties for the most part, I wouldn't really have much to say about how Chiron handled the situation.

But this man is in charge of children and extremely young teenagers, Percy is only 12 in TLT, maybe if he would have been 16 or 17 then I could give Chiron a pass, but he wasn't. Within the context of the comment he made in the Titan's Curse, Percy is only 14 and Nico is 10 at the beginning of the book... You don't wish a 10 year old had been eaten alive by a monster no matter how bad you think the alternative is, and if you do wish that you don't say it out loud to a group of other children. In the battle from Tower of Nero we get a quick look at the battlefield, and although Ben's age, and the age of another girl fighting alongside him are never confirmed they are implied to be fairly young, and we know Kayla is only 12 at the time too; yet Chiron told them it was a field trip instead of a battle, limiting the time they would have to mentally prepare themselves for what was coming.

On top of that, the nods the reader gets to the fact that Chiron can't act out against the gods depletes over the course of the series. After TLT the amount of times the situation involves the gods interfering with what Chiron is allowed to say lessens, and by the time the Heroes of Olympus series comes around, these limitations on his speech is almost entirely gone. Yet as seen in Tower of Nero he still does morally questionable things in regards to how he treats the campers.

Like I said, I recognize that in many scenes Chiron's hands are tied behind his back because of the gods.. But there are undeniably things he does of his own free will that are, in the nicest manner, very :/

This also isn't a full list of comparisons just a few notable scenes. I don't think Chiron is equally as bad as Dumbledore, but I think it undeniable that Chiron has some significant flaws built into his character design.

A good character has flaws, and there's nothing wrong with having a character that doesn't always conduct themselves properly or have good intentions- it's actually good writing, and I can appreciate that, but for some reason I find myself personally rubbed the wrong way by Chiron. This doesn't make Chiron badly written, or poorly designed, in fact I would say Rick's Chiron is very well designed in lots of ways, but I just don't like how it's never acknowledged by anyone in the series.

Like I said, I'm not starting an anti-Chiron situation, I just think little events like those mentioned, the way he's built a child army, and how he doesn't even try to plead with the gods over raising the ages on campers being allowed to battle is a little sus. But it more so bothers me that there's no attention payed to this problem anywhere in the books, not even by a side character or Luke, nowhere.

I don't actually care that much and this isn't that important to me, but sometimes people ask why I don't like Chiron and this is basically just my explanation to hand off to them... It's not even so much that I dislike Chiron entirely, he's well written and has his "good" moments, I just don't like the way other characters interact with him and his actions.

It's more a personal beef with him rather than an aspect of poor writing or him "being bad"... PJO in general (and HoO/ToA to a much lesser extent) shows that there's not such an inherent good vs bad in the world, and that sometimes people are victims of circumstances in some situations, or they're horribly misguided in their actions, but the series does a good job of showing those people as human still, and I applaud that.

I don't really know how to tie this up in its entirety, but there's nothing wrong with having a morally grey character who does questionable things and in many aspects it is good writing. I think Chiron is a result of Rick not thinking through the implications what he's doing in lots of situations, and I can see a fairly consistent drop in Chiron's characterization from PJO-ToA which is consistent with most other aspects of Rick's work.

I also want to clarify that if you like Chiron and disagree with me, that's absolutely 110% okay, I just personally dislike Chiron and that's on me. Like my problem with many of Rick's other immortal characters, I think he missed important aspects of them in some manner and slightly (or entirely in some cases) mischaracterized them in comparison to their original myths.. Some of these characters he came around on and fixed their character in many aspects to their more "correct" characterization (like Hera), while others (like Chiron and Apollo) he never quite figured them out. Which is a running complaint I have with Rick so I'm just adding this to his tab.

But yeah, I don't hate Chiron I just dislike him and those are different things, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have a morally questionable character, Chiron just personally rubs me the wrong way and I just wanted to explain that more fully because I've been asked about it multiple times.

Also I apologize for not adding a [read more] to this, it's a complaint of mine often when scrolling through the tags but I'm on mobile currently and don't have immediate access to a computer so~

#pjo #Hoo #Chiron pjo #percy jackson #long post

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boldlyvoid · 3 years ago

Text

Amoreena | chapter eleven

chapter eleven

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: Y/N POV: details of what happened to Stephen, her grandmas cancer, and very detailed explanations of how babies are made (as biologically accurate and not very graphic as possible) this is an angsty trauma filled chapter that made me cry a lot just writing it so I'm sorry in advance

word count: 3K

from the beginning <3

June 13th, 2010

There’s a knock on her parent's door at 4 in the morning, Y/N’s sound asleep on the couch back at her grandma’s, awoken by said grandmother as she hears all the noise beyond the porch. There are 2 cop cars at the main house, worry starts to settle over them.

She puts on a pair of shoes, taking her grandmother's hand in hers as they begin the early morning trek up the road, anxiety seeping in deeper and deeper as they get closer to the lights illuminating their driveway.

Her father is talking to an officer on the steps, her mother is crying behind him. “We’re so sorry for your loss,” the officer says and Y/N’s blood runs cold, numbing her from the impending despair.

“What happened?” Her grandmother asks, rubbing a hand along Y/N’s back in preparation for the worst.

“Evan was in a car accident,” her father says softly, knowing that Y/N knows Stephen was with him tonight. She breaks away from her grandma and without thinking she’s right in the officer's face.

“Which one of them died?”

“Ma’am,” it was never a good way to start the worst conversation of her life with that word or in that tone. She felt like a '40s housewife learning her husband wasn’t coming home from the war, only he wasn’t even her husband yet.

He would have been on next Saturday.

“I’m sorry, Stephen was pronounced dead on the scene,” he says the worst sentence she’s ever heard, and now she’ll never forget it. “The passenger side took the worst of it, once again, I am so sorry for your loss.”

She’s surprisingly calm, managing to whisper, “thank you,” before she’s walking off into the field, pushing everyone's hands away as she travels as far as he feet will take her.

She ends up at the willow tree by the pond as soon as the sun is rising, it happened a lot earlier in June than the rest of the year. The birds singing, the wind blowing against the leaves making them carry a tune in harmony together. The world is still spinning, life is moving on, but how?

She sat there against the tree for a while, picking blades of grass and weaving them into a chain, soothing her brain as she makes a pattern. Giving her hands something to do so they stop going numb, it’s the only thing that really reminds her that she's real, that she’s controlling the twists and tucks, the shape and length and the fact that it was created at all.

Ending the life of the single blade of grass as she picks it, never to be whole again. Snatched from its happy place, where it grew loved and surrounded by other matching green strands as they blew in the wind.

Then she's pulling fist full after fist full of grass out of the dirt, her hands covered in mud as she shouts, throwing handfuls of grass and dirt towards the pond. The once blue water starting to turn cloudy; disrupted and upset with her anger as it swallows her weapons, but it doesn’t make her feel better. All she did was disrupt the earth, changing the way this once beautiful patch of land used to look. She couldn’t help but sob, realizing that she was like this field now and her beautiful green pasture was disrupted, overturned and ruined.

The life that flowed through her died along with the love of her life.

“Stephen was pronounced dead on the scene,” the words echo in her mind in a constant circle like she’s stuck in a tin can.

It starts to reverberate, getting louder and louder as the same 7 words all run around in her head. Bouncing off the walls, smacking her down again and again as she hears them over and over and over… she’s holding her hands on her ears, shaking back and forth, sobbing when she feels someone wrap their arms around her.

She doesn’t open her eyes, instead, she's rushing to push them off of her, struggling out of their grasp as she fights them. Finally, she loses, being held in her brother's embrace as they both cry, he barely has a scratch on him when she finally looks at him.

she’s never been physical in her life, but she punched him right in the face. Her twin brother, best friend in childhood and the person she’s known the longest in her life. He held her close in the womb, crying if they separated as soon as they were born, she loved him deeply and yet she hated him something fierce at that moment.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Evan cries, “we were stopped at a red light, Y/N!”

“I don’t care! He was supposed to be my husband!” She swats at him, smacking his arms again and again as he tries to hold them back, holding her so tightly as she basically screams bloody murder in the field.

All she can see is his face, her beautiful happy Stephen. The first time she ever saw him, standing under a street light in Boston, papers in his hand and wonder in his eyes. The way he looked up at her, the glow of the light making a halo glow over his head.

She should have known he was too good to be true. Always destined to return to the heavens, he was truly angelic with his big emerald eyes that were only the tiniest bit yellow on the edge of the pupil, the way her name sounded on his tongue like a blessing coming true.

They buried him 2 days after what was supposed to be their wedding. Disrupting another beautiful patch of earth to hide him away forever, she placed a single rose on his casket, she never said goodbye and she never planned to.

“See you later, superstar,” she patted the glossy black box once last time before sending him down into the earth.

—

September 2012

This fucking willow tree and 7-word sentences…

“What do you mean you have cancer?”

Her grandma let a tear slip from her eye, “I’ve got colon cancer, honey, the doctors said I have another 2 years, maybe 5 if I'm lucky.”

Every time someone sat beside her in this one spot, she learned the worst information in the world. Sure Evan didn’t mean to kill Stephen, doesn’t mean she’s talked to him at all in the last year. with Grandpa dying only a few summers back, her favourite house cat now buried in the yard, she can’t lose her grandma now too.

“Okay,” she starts to plan in her head, her eyes about ready to jump out of her skull as she tries to think of all the things they need to do before it’s too late, “let’s go to England, let’s blow my bank account, you can’t leave me without going to England with me? We were supposed to get tea and pretend to be the queen and princess?”

She couldn’t stop the tears, her whole body heaving as she sobbed into her grandma’s dress, “you can’t leave me too!”

“Your grandfather and I have a fund for you, you were the last baby we got to raise when your mom went back to work, I want you to use it for that baby we talked about,” her grandma’s voice is barely a whisper, softly getting the words over her vocal cords as the tears joined Y/N’s on her dress.

Without another word, she took her hand and walked home, getting in her car together and heading to the closest fertility clinic, she booked her first insemination for February, pre-paying for a round of IVF hormones and everything to start in January, she had 3 months to plan.

Finding the perfect donor was the only hard part. She had 3 different books to choose from with all the clinics in the DC area sharing 1 sperm bank. She finally made her decision 3 weeks before they were set to get her pregnant when they updated the books.

Sample 2319, male 30’s, healthy, high IQ, 6’1, brown eyes, brown hair (curly). “Sounds a lot like Stephen,” her grandma agreed, saying his name for the first time in over 2 years, she knew this was her guy.

—

June 14th, 2021

Peeing on a stick shouldn’t be as terrifying as it is.

She hasn’t been this nervous since the first time Dr. Collins inseminated her. Laying back on the table at a weird elevation to make sure she got pregnant, her whole body tense as she thought of the possibilities of her future child.

Sample 2319 sitting in a cup not too far from her face as she prepared for a man she barely knew to put the semen of another man she didn’t know, inside her. She only picked this guy cause he was smart and tall, no health issues to report and the number made her think of Monsters Inc.

In her mind, she made a baby with a man she named mike wazowski, not knowing his real name was actually Spencer Reid and he was only just down the road at Quantico the whole time. It was the weirdest day ever, and then it became the second-best day of her life

Nothing could top holding her baby in her arms for the first time. Her grandma and mother beside her as they all cried, the perfect purple baby screaming on her chest as they tried to wipe the white gunk off her tiny body. her sweet little coos, seeing her swollen eyes open for the first time, the silence that overcame her as they made their first introduction to each other. Her little person, the love of her life, her wonderful Amoreena.

Her cry was perfect, like music to her ears she wanted to hear her little voice as long as she could because it meant she was alive and real. She was healthy and beautiful and the most perfect bundle of joy she could have ever made.

Now she was hiding in the bathroom to pee on a stick while her 7-year-old had breakfast in the next room. Oh, how times changed, but one thing remained the same, she was finding out alone again. Only this time she meant for that to happen, it was exactly 4 days since her period was supposed to start and it wasn’t there, neither was Spencer.

He had something to do that morning, but he’d be meeting them later that afternoon, it was Amoreena’s last day of kindergarten after all. She wanted time to either enjoy the thought of having another baby or cry in peace because for once it didn’t work, giving her a week to recover before trying again.

Amoreena was a miracle, the easiest IVF baby they ever made at the clinic, apparently. If she was pregnant this easily again it was a sure sign that he was Amoreena’s father too, only he could get her knocked up while not even trying.

She didn’t remember pregnancy tests taking this long, she flipped it over and walked out of the room, unable to think of anything else while she waited for 3 minutes to pass. Amoreena noticed she was being weird, studying her mother's movements as she paced the hall outside of the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?” She asked, curious as ever as she twirled lightly in her new princess dress.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Always mom, I’m the best secret keeper in all the kingdom, remember?” Amoreena smiled, holding onto her leg as she stared up at her.

“Your dad and I tried to make a baby,” she whispered, petting the litter hairs on her forehead as Amoreena looked up at her, her first little baby. “I’m waiting to find out if it worked, but we can’t tell anyone in case it didn’t, okay?”

Amoreena’s eyes were wider than she’s ever seen them, her mouth opened slowly as she understood the words in her mind. She didn’t look happy or surprised, nor upset or worried. She looked confused, “how?”

She laughed then, shaking her head as she lifted Amoreena into her arms, she would have to know soon anyway. “You know how every month mummy has a bad week where she bleeds and her tummy hurts?”

“Yeah?”

“When people with our parts grow up they make little tiny eggs but we don’t lay them like chickens do, they stay inside our tummies and wait to become babies and if they don’t we have a period and release all the stuff our bodies saved up that month to make a little person. You’ll have one soon too in a few years, probably when you're 12 like I was, and when people with a penis get old enough they’re able to help us make the babies like roosters help the chickens. Our bodies are really special and make some really cool things when we try to,” she explained it in the most simple farmhouse way she could.

“Like when the goats are all born in the spring and they just show up?” She tried to clarify, understanding it at the basic level.

“Kinda, you’ve seen the photos of you in my tummy and how aunty Shannon’s stomach grew when she had your cousins, I’ll get really big like that too if I’m pregnant, the baby will grow for 9 long months till they’re nice and healthy and then we’ll have another person in the family,” she couldn’t help but smile as she thought about it.

“How do we find out?”

She opened the bathroom door then and carried Amoreena inside, setting her down on the sink and pointing at the upside-down test stick. “We create a special hormone when we’re pregnant, it’s something that can be detected in our pee!” she explained it like it was magic, watching her get excited instead of grossed out.

“So I peed on that stick and if it has 2 lines I have a baby in my tummy, if not then your dad and I have to try again.”

Amoreena picked up the test and looked at it, keeping it out of her mothers sight as she did so, “there’s two lines,” she lit up waving the stick lightly as she squealed.

Y/N wrapped her up in her arms and twirled her around, “you’re gonna be the best big sister ever!”

“How do we tell dad?” Amoreena’s soft voice whispered in her ear as she snuggled into her shoulder.

“I have an idea,” she whispered back before carrying her back into the kitchen.

Her All About Me project was sitting on the counter, ready for Y/N to drive her into school today. She set Amoreena down on the floor to watch her as she took some tape and taped the stick to the bottom corner of the project. “Pass me the marker, please?”

Amoreena ran to the counter to get it, coming back and placing it in her mom's hand before leaning in to watch what she was writing.

“I’m going to be a big sister sometime next February!” Amoreena read the words as her mother wrote them, unbelievably excited.

“Your dad can read that at the ceremony tonight!”

“I thought you said we can’t tell anyone yet?” Amoreena questioned her, like always.

“Your teacher can know, the other kids won't know what it means, it’s just important Spencer sees it, but we will wait to tell nanny and poppy, okay? Sometimes the babies don’t always stay, it’s sad so we keep it a secret until they’ve got a tiny little heartbeat in there,” she didn’t want to scare her, but she knew it was always a possibility.

“Then we try again,” Amoreena smiled, “It’ll be easier now that you don’t need Dr. Collins to help you, how did you even make me without Spencer?” She didn't use his real name often anymore, only in times when she wasn't referring to him as her father.

She sat down then, pulling Amoreena into her lap so she could hold her while she thought of the right words. “So we have eggs, but people with penises have something called sperm. When adults, and I mean adults you have to be at least 25 to have a baby it’s the rules,” she teased her slightly, ticking her arms.

“Adults have sex, babies are made when someone with a vagina and someone with a penis get together. But when you don’t have a partner with a penis to help, sometimes they’ll donate their sperm to the doctor's offices to help people like me make their perfect little families all by themselves.”

“Interesting,” is all her little mind can say, she has learned so much in one day, Y/N was surprised she was still listening and surprisingly still for once. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“We won't know for a while,” she smiled, holding Amoreena closer to her chest. “How do you feel about all this?”

Amoreena was quiet as she thought about it, “is Spencer the guy who gave the doctors the sperm for me?”

“We think so, but we don’t know, why?”

Amoreena looked at her softly, “it wouldn’t be fair, I know he said I don’t need a father but why do they get to have him for both?”

“I think Spencer is your father, you’re just as smart and wonderful as he is, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re his baby too. but if you want to know if he isn't, when you turn 18 the doctors will tell you who it is, it's completely up to you to find out,” she whispered, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks as Amoreena tried to wipe them away.

"I like thinking he's my father, so he is." Her mind worked in the most wonderful way. Y/N couldn’t help but hold her close as she lightly cried, “I had a dream yesterday that I had 8 sisters,” her voice was so soft and innocent as her tiny hand cupped her mother's cheek.

She gasped lightly at the words, remembering Spencer’s panic in the middle of the night last night, how scared he was to leave her all alone with 9 babies and no one to help her. They knew something that she didn’t yet, cheaper by the dozen seemed less like a dream and more like a prophecy.

“I’m so happy to make your dream come true,” Y/N whispered, “I promise I’m happy, the baby just makes me emotional.”

Amoreena placed her hand on her tummy then, “I love you, baby.”

Y/N stuck her tummy out as far as she could, “I love you too, big sister,” she said in a funny voice to make Amoreena laugh, leaning back in the chair as she held her.

And just like that, getting pregnant with Amoreena was bumped into 3rd place for the best day of her life. Sharing the moment with her and no one else was perfect, insuring she knew that she was just as important moving forward as the little person she was growing this time.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 let me know if you would like to be added as well!!

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