#good to know i haven’t lost the obsession LOL honestly they might not be like the best books

[kuiinncedes]

c:

[yuyuntianyu]

[2HA analysis blog] To love you is torment but leave you I cannot

I wanted to write this (hopefully not-too-long) blog to give 2HA fandom a different perspective of the events in the past timeline. I noticed that there are many little things that could not be carried over to the English language. These little things can give more explanations to our characters’ actions so I hope sharing this would help the novel make more sense. This blog focuses on Taxian-jun and Chu Fei.

Warning: Spoilers ! ! ! Taxian-jun and Chu Fei are their own trigger warnings ! ! !

Despite the novel having 350 chapters, we really know little about what happened between Taxian-jun and Chu Fei besides the abuse and mistreatment and that little is relayed to us by the Most Unreliable Narrator of the Cultivation World - Mo Ran Mo Weiyu. If we only take Mo Ran for his words then a lot of his and Chu Wanning’s decisions told later on would seem irrational and almost silly. So let’s dive deep in the past so we can understand how the great cultivator Beidou Xian-zun could raise such a dumb husky since the events in the past would explain the more irrational decisions made by both main characters.

Given Mo Ran’s narrator is about as reliable as his character in the first 120 chapters, we have to look at other more subtle clues and some of them are due to cultural and linguistic differences.

1. I used to like you a lot

At his coronation day, Taxian-jun stated that he once greatly looked up to Chu Wanning and that he used to love and respect him dearly. Maybe I am reading into this too much but this is my theory: The flower could erase the memory itself but cannot erase the feelings associated with the memory. He had his memories of the good deeds Chu Wanning did for him erased but still remembered that he used to love and respect him. It doesn’t make sense unless it is indeed that the flower could not erase its host’s feelings. So throughout the novel, Mo Ran’s complicated emotions are complicated possibly because he could not remember how he came to have these feelings. Similarly, Hua Binan could mess with the undead Taxian-jun’s memory to a great extent but could not erase his obsession with Chu Wanning.

2. I gave you a new title

Chu Fei. 楚妃. In the Imperial Chinese harem hierarchy, “Fei” means consort and not concubine (嬪 “Pín"). Consorts were highly respected positions in the palace weidling much political power and were only seconds to the Empress Consort. Another major difference is a consort would be married to the emperor while a concubine would not. So if Taxian-jun had truly wanted to only humiliate Chu Wanning and keep him for the carnal pleasures (I am intentionally ignoring his breeding kink completely), he would keep him as a concubine but he gave Chu Wanning the Consort title and hid him from the world. At this point, Taxian-jun had almost lost Chu Wanning once and had spent a lot of effort to bring him back from the verge of death after hearing Chu Wanning’s apology so his anger might have softened a bit. Also, given that Chu Wanning is a man, having a legitimate offspring ( (I am still intentionally ignoring Mo Ran's breeding kink completely) is not an issue so although this is not clearly stated, I believe Taxian-jun wanted to force a relationship and somewhat proper marriage on Chu Wanning. Another hint of this is in an Extra chapter where Taxian-jun tried to get Chu Wanning a birthday gift. He recalled that in his past timeline, he had wanted Chu Wanning to give him something on his birthday as well and that he had wanted Chu Wanning’s heart.

3. Shizun likes to write letters and poems

On Book 3 Chapter 247, Chu Wanning sat down and wrote a few unsent letters to the people he used to know. He also wrote a few lines of poetry. In the first few lines taken from different literature works, he expressed his sense of helplessness and his wish to remain untainted despite the circumstances. The more important two lines are from a poem written by a real poet named Fàn Chéngdà ( 范成大) who lived in the 12th century Southern-Song dynasty. The two lines read:

“May I be like the stars, may you* be as the moon. Night after night, may we shine together side by side.” **

*In the original work, the character used instead of you is “jun” 君 (as in 踏仙君 Taxian-jun). 君 could mean king, emperor, lord, or gentleman ** This is my rough translation - I haven’t found an English version of this poem

These two lines are commonly used in romantic novels as a way to express one’s unchanging love and loyalty to another person despite the circumstances. He compared himself as the stars and wanted to remain by Taxian-jun whom he viewed as the moon. Chu Wanning wrote this to express his willingness to stay but he would never voice this out loud. In the next timeline, he did the same thing by quietly loving and caring for Mo Ran 1.0 despite the mistreatment and was content with never expressing his feelings vocally. Mo Ran was rather uneducated and thus could not fully comprehend these two lines and misunderstood that Chu Wanning was missing Xue Meng.

4. You are all I have left

In chapter 252, after Chu Wanning returned to The Red Lotus Pavilion, he found Taxian-jun already waiting for him. Taxian-jun told Chu Wanning about a dream he had and said:

“I am afraid I don’t resent you… I want to resent you… Otherwise, I…” “In the end, it’s just you and I”.

This is not the first time he expressed that Chu Wanning was all he had left or they only had each other. I believe that at this point, Taxian-jun might have somewhat believed Chu Wanning and recognized that his memories were missing. His words and behaviors seemed a lot more gentle and he mentioned they did have periods of time where their marriage was easier. I believe it was after this point. He told us about the numerous times he attempted to spoil his consort or expressed his affection through gifts, a trip outside the palace, goods, jewels, and even teaching Chu Wanning how to cook or personally taking care of Chu Wanning when he was sick. At one point, Taxian-jun expressed his wish for a more peaceful marriage with Chu Wanning through his breeding kink by saying that if they had children, perhaps they would be more civil towards each other.

Edit: I really wanted to go about this blog without having to refer to their particular taste in bed

5. Are you still mad?

This is a smaller detail but in the original text and the Vietnamese official translation, the way they talked to each other had a bit more of the “husband-wife” dynamic. Especially Chu Wanning ( l┐(︶▽︶)┌ ), the comment section said he sounded like when your wife is mad that you didn’t take out the trash but still says: “I’m not mad” and Taxian-jun, the husband, would come around and ask “Are you still mad at me?” after every fight.

6. I did not think you would really leave me.

On Chapter 99, Mo Ran recalled the fight between him and Chu Wanning after an assassination attempt. In order to convince Mo Ran to not go to Taxue Palace, Chu Wanning said:

“If you destroy Taxue palace, if you kill Xue Meng, I will die before you”.

Now the line “I will die before you” in my language is less of a suicidal ideation but more of a threat. It's used when a person already knows that they are important to the other person and is using their own death as a threat to make the other person do something. This line is thrown around a lot during heated arguments between people close to each other but they almost never mean it. (Even my mom said it numerous times before T_T . I personally think it’s manipulative). Therefore, it is understandable Taxian-jun did not take this line seriously and replied almost mockingly. After all, they had been married for almost a decade at that point, Taxian-jun probably felt somewhat comfortable that Chu Wanning would not do anything reckless. He could not foresee that Chu Wanning meant what he said and actually followed through with his words. I believe that if Taxian-jun had known that Chu Wanning was serious, Taxian-jun would not have gone to Taxue Palace. 7. Don't leave me, ok?

Then Chu Wanning died and Mo Ran spent two years alone. In those two years, we know he basically went insane because of grief, talked to a corpse everyday, and deep fried his Empress Consort. But strangely enough, Mo Ran 1.0 did not immediately mention this after being reborn although it was the main reason he committed suicide. And at that point, it had been well over a decade since Shi Mei faked his death in the past timeline, yet Mo Ran 1.0 seemed to still hold a lot of resentment towards Chu Wanning. Also, he said he could accept Shi Mei’s death but would never accept Chu Wanning’s. So honestly, it did not make sense to me the first time I read the novel and I believed Mo Ran resented Chu Wanning for a different reason.

The answer was first hinted at in chapter 9 when Mo Ran scolded the sleeping Chu Wanning. He called Chu Wanning a donkey hoof (lol) and this is actually an idiom to scold someone who is disloyal and unfaithful in love. The puzzles came together when the undead Taxian-jun showed up and immediately went after Chu Wanning (and not Shi Mei). He believed Chu Wanning used his death to hurt him and was angry at Chu Wanning for leaving him. This is the resentment Mo Ran 1.0 carried over to the next timeline. He hated Chu Wanning for abandoning him. This is solidified in chapter 262 by the undead Taxian-jun pleading to Chu Wanning:

“Don’t betray me” “Don’t leave me the second time. The first time you left, I could choose death as a relief. This time, even death is not an option any more… I won’t be able to bear it…”

So there it is! I hope this blog brings some new information and feel free to discuss! Let me know if you have any questions for me ＼(￣▽￣)／

Disclaimer: Plenty of this is my conclusion drawn from the already ambiguous original text and various translations. Unless Meatbun says it, it’s not canon. I am looking at the novel in three different languages so I might have made some mistakes. Pls forgive. Also, I am not making excuses for Mo Ran 0.5’s actions nor am I justifying the abuse in any way. Chu Wanning never said Mo Ran 0.5 was innocent of these crimes nor will I.

[bthump]

I currently have a fanfic in mind in which the one to become a god hand member isn’t Griffith and he gets to have a character arc after the eclipse. (My idea is the fifth member to be Charlotte, but I haven’t developed it very well, it could change)

I honestly believe he had admitted his feelings for Guts even before being thrown to the dungeon, and I wanted to focus on that. Still, I don’t know what to do about how he views himself (his self hatred) or about his dream and the possible guilt for not accomplishing it.

What way do you think his character could go? What kind of dynamic would he and Guts have when both of them already realized their feelings are mutual/reciprocal?

I once had a similar idea actually, where both Guts and Griffith were someone else's sacrifices and survived together (already being in a relationship), and what I imagined was Griffith being the one to go very dark and fucked up, full of rage and guilt and passively suicidal, and Guts being the voice of reason who basically helps keep him alive, and is someone Griffith cares about enough to try to stay alive for (though Guts also occasionally sucks at this and fucks up, because I like dark complicated relationships even if I can't write them lol.)

I'm not sure if you'd want to be that depressing, but yeah it's hard for me to imagine a Griffith who's been sacrificed and lost his dream and isn't borderline suicidal and very fucked up. But I do think Guts would be enough to keep him going, and together they would be capable of like, positive growth and healing and getting over their losses. Eventually.

Also I figured Griffith would have the revenge obsession, because he needs something to focus on and drive the plot forward in lieu of both of them chilling in Godos cave forever, and depending on what was sacrificed (in my version it was all of Midland right after he became king) he might feel that the only way to assuage his guilt now would be to avenge everyone.

Also Griffith would get the armour and a Femto-esque version of the Beast of Darkness in my version because I think that would be fun to explore.

Thanks for asking, good luck with the writing! it's a cool concept!

[serenawitchwriter]

BNHA Fusion (LOV/Deku)

shigideku

oh boy

both have been deeply wronged by society

unstable but also instantly aware that they’re more compatible than either is comfortable with

insane, muttering, constantly arguing with them-self

black curls that’s longer the deku’s hair normally is. scarred so badly. but decent skin. eye bags, big green eyes. Mikumo vibes

twitchy hands, will scratch anywhere, plays with lip, constantly writing. hands are never still

wears one fingered gloved so he doesn’t decay everything constantly

a genius, master of planning and deconstruction. take the moral limiters of izuku and he could end any hero quirkless

has a level of morality but it’s hard to define. totally down for crime most of the time, loves fighting, but doesn’t target kids or civilians. has a lot clearer motives than shigaraki did alone

they are gonna take down the government probably

daddy issues x2

laughs like a crazy person, wide scary smile

traumatized, ptsd, anxiety, dissociates, ocd. babe has a lot of mental illnesses

plays video games to calm down

loves homemade food

a loner

paranoid

quirk is just... oof. like a nuke going off basically. so fucking destructive, and you know they know how to use it

hates everyone including them-self

self aware of their situation. recognized that they’re being used and targeted and manipulated. on both ends. Shigi sees how he’s being used by afo, Izu sees how the adults in his life have failed him

honestly kinda baby, they need fucking love

hero students and lov members would put aside differences to help them honestly. the world wouldn’t be okay with it, but their friends are loyal

not quite a villain anymore, but definitely not a hero. constantly has internal conflict over this. like they don’t want to give up on hero dreams times 2 but also recognize how utterly fucked society is and wants to tear it down. they’re so full of hate, but want to maintain hope just out of spite at this point

whatever the hell they’re doing they’re not giving up on it

has the power to reshape society and is going to fucking use it

i don’t need to tell you that they’re fucking terrifying

togodeku

obsessive x2

love heroes x2

long curly green hair worn in twin pony tails, 

short, decent sized chest, big red eyes, and a smile that’s too big. fangs. freckles. 

muscular but in a compact way

more stable than they should be

loves themselves.

in love with uraraka, but gets crushes on everyone else extremely easily. ura is their forever girl though

loves making and consuming fan content. a fangirl to a scary degree

an all might stan

naturally, also loves k-pop

no fashion sense, they wish they had it, but they don’t. probably just wearing t-shirts and jeans most of the time. is still kinda hot, but isn’t doing anything to play it up

will hunt you for sport

incredibly fast, loves running and chasing in general

bunny themed outfit still

changing into others is one of their passions. izu lowkey loves this quirk. they’re experts at mimicking others. izuku’s analysis skills makes them too good at this

feral x2

honestly just here for the lols

still wants to be a hero, but isn’t doing a good job of it

easily distracted

probably knits for some reason?

makes gifts for friends and crushes

way more dangerous than they’re letting on. too many people are underestimating them

cute as a button

dabideku

daddy issue x2

bitter as hell

black and white hair, curly. darker at the roots. 

keeps dabi’s scars. green eyes. tall and muscular, lots of piercings. most of Izuku’s details are lost in the scaring

coffee addict

self centered, has a lot of enemies. including endeavor and bakugou, and every middle school bully.

more empathetic though, can have friends and value them, just don’t piss him off because he will hold lifelong grudges

very good at switching back and forth between scary and threatening to cute and innocent. usually the innocence is mocking but it can read as genuine

a good actor in general, but a terrible liar

quirk is not doing him any favors, still has the feedback, but flaming tentacles gives him more control over the fire itself

reads a lot of comic books

a hypocrite

likes to dramatically point at things while shouting

loves solving mysteries and kinda wants to go down a sherlock holmes or batman route

is not pulling that off, maybe jason todd vibes at best

high key just a dramatic dork that’s too good at murder

chaotic neutral to chaotic good

talks too much

good at pissing people off

kinda deserves to get the shit beaten out of him, and i feel like bakugou can pull it off

twicedeku

neurotic

they love their friends so much though

oblivious as hell

like a genius in observation and knowing stuff, but a dumbass at applying that knowledge

would make a good information broker if they could learn to shut the hell up

are they basically deadpool? kinda.

short green hair, cut close to their head

long face, covered in scars, tallish, looks like an adult

pouts and cries easily

smartass

talks to himself x2 god help us

overpowered with his quirk. god help us

laughs at his own jokes

always hungry

winks at the fourth wall

has many stims and hobbies, hands are litterally never not doing something. he’s the kind of person you’ll glance away from, turn back, and find juggling.

we’re talking cat’s craddle, rubix cubes, instruments, puzzles, tearing up candy wrappers, painting his nails, braiding friendship bracelets. he is never still

directionless. lacks motivation

internalizes criticism really easily, to the point that he gets depressed and struggles to act

indecisive to a clinical degree

probably has and anxiety disorder but refuses to acknowledge it

is pretty fucking baby. protect him

spindeku

lol what a nerd

fanboy x2

cries easily. izuku’s habit of crying does not decrease

ultimate ride or die

still a lizard, mohawk is green instead of pink

mixed feelings on stain

searching for the ultimate person to stan. all might stays in their heart, but they want to be edgier

absolutely uses a sword. not the dumb one that spinner uses but it is still a buster sword that’s too large for them. they’re strong enough to swing it around like nothing, i’m picturing cloud from final fantasy’s sword. again they’re really nerdy

disillusioned with society and heroes. both are marked by discrimination and have recognized the failure of heroes and government. aren’t as bitter but determined to do something

sassy but not quite sarcastic

gives really good advice. the friend you go to to have an emotional breakdown

considering pursuing psychology more for this reason. realizes he can use the skill to help a lot of people

isn’t willing to give up fighting or using his sword though. he has an aesthetic

would get along fantastically with tokoyami

also the friend that feeds you. can’t cook very well but always has something on him to give you when he notices you haven’t eaten in a long time.

loves bubble tea

social anxiety, if it weren’t for the fact that he already had friends and a mission, he probably wouldn’t leave the house

surprisingly close to shigaraki, enough of a gamer to play with him, and even gets away with calling him out

(i’m debating how comfortable i am with fusing kids with adults. it seems weird to me, especially the bigger the age difference)

(masterlist)

[bigskydreaming]

And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.

Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids. 

(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).

Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately. 

So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.

************

So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”

Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”

Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on  the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

********

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”

“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

**************

LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).

Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions. 

Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.

[sapphire-innit]

MD is a trip in SO many ways lmao

HI!! So it's been a while but I was feeling sad about some minecraft boys and it finally kickstarted me enough energy to do this again. For those who haven’t seen this before everything is tagged “dream smp liveblog” if you wanna look back.

I was thinking about rewatching some of the exile vods again to get back into the right headspace but honestly I’m gonna ride this wave while I can and jump right back into it. Maybe when I catch up fully I’ll go back and watch them all in a marathon and see how much I can make myself cry, who knows

Intro out of the way here we go! VOD: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

(rp): oh man I forgot how fucked up his skin was…. And hes drowning again

He’s also lashing out at people in chat and then pulling back “Ranboo: are you alright man” ahhh buddy YOU KNOW HES NOT

….You know. Some of the Dread HAS faded but it STILL sucks when Dream logs in.

“And Tubbo hasnt spoke to me…” :(

But hes still trying!!! Hes gonna make a path!!

Lol what is this melon monstrosity lol the youtube praise Tommy just screamed lmaoo

….Dream YOU can get out of VC 2 fuck off

….just the casual “oh yeah sorry” while he blows up the armor….

“DId anyone come to see you while I was gone” I see you, you obsessive fucker

“Weve become better friends” :/

HI MEXICAN DREAM WHAT AN INTRO THEYRE JUST STARING AT HIM LMAO

Yes BULLY HIM MD BULLY HIM

“WHICH ONES HOTTER” cursed cursed cursed

Lol the tone is so absurd Im having a good time

cc!Dream taking the time to pinpoint the particular restaurant its from lmaoo this man is funny

Lol Mexican Dream just chasing Dream away with Spanish YEAH GET EM MD

Tommys so excited to have someone who might live with him omg

“Borderline my owner” ….

…,,,look I just needed a short hand ok Mexican Dream is too long to type lol

,,,,,I dont know how to process Mamacita asdfsdfsd

SOMEHOW GOT MORE CURSED

Cant believe this is canon lore because it gets. SAD?? What is happening right now

This must have been a great tension breaker for people watching live though. A Nice break. Honestly I have mixed feelings about this being my first stream back lol

…..what are those maps huh? Old Memories huh? Tommy seems actually a bit embarrassed lmao

TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TUBBO!!!!!

Asfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfds these fuckign pictures jesus omg

Somehow this would be more sad if Tommy wasn't blowing out his mic fake crying lmao

…..hey fuck girl Dream though

Is girl Dream canonically Dream or a different character?

“You two are the happiest couple I know” … F for the dream smp where no relationship survives lol Love is Dead

….my heart was racing while Tommy was hiding the rest of the Tubbo pictures…

“Not on my stream you better not!” afdsfdsfsdfsd

Rip Mexican Dream lol Quackity dies to mobs a lot doesn’t he

………..I just got the walls joke F F F

……hi Dream you fucker

HEY BITCH, HEY BITCH BOY!!! YEEEEE TOMMY GET HIM

….. This is why Dream kills MD isn’t it

OUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THAT

MEXICAN DREAM DID JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF TOMMY JEEZ

….. Welp this is turning serious, Tommy is literally trying to distract Dream from chasing MD

The fucking decapitation joke asdfsdfsdf

OH MD WITH THE REAL GEAR!!!

….well that was short lived. As was Mexican Dream, Rest in Pieces I guess

“That was my last friend on the server. And that was his last death” “.......” “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY ~ :D”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Mexican Dream is canonically dead”

….. The serious tone is back for sure ….. Its staring into lava and gaslighting time

Literally just killed his friend and Dream already getting Tommy to say they’re friends…

“He died of a drug overdose” “I watched you kill him” “Noo he died of natural causes” >:(

cc!Tommy really canonizing this just to twist the knife

...hes just standing in the fire :(

………begging him for company.. “I don’t think I have very long left” …….

At least Drista will be fun?

“Its fine, its really his rules now” “After tomorrow, then I think its over”.... This is the pillar isn’t it. The pillar is happening soon

“Tommy can you stop going insane please?” - FUNDY PLS LMAO

Strange interlude with Lazar… obviously Tommy is lashing out but I also feel like there is a bit of back-handedness to his interactions as well. Maybe the only one ACTUALLY only reaching out because of pity..?

Well that was a strange and oddly sad interlude. The middle was just the wildest of rides, but the end still managed to ground it back, mostly. 13 did NOT HURT in that regard honestly lol. I feel like I’ve definitely lost some momentum by splitting things up like this -- my recommendation to anyone watching is Definitely to shotgun it if you can do so safely. Its such a well written arc, even and up to including silly streams like this, and its a shame not to have watched it all at once.

STILL! Looking forward to seeing Drista, that little chaos godling has grown on me quite a bit, not least of all BECAUSE she’s a chas godling with creative mode lol. I’ve also heard thats the other “break” exile stream, so probably a bit more lighthearted (not least of all bc idk how much Drista the person actually knows and or cares about her brother’s block game role play canon lmao)

[unbridgeabledistances]

I love your last fic so much it got me thinking could you write something about like the gallaghers( +Kev and v and sandy etc) observing Ian and Mickey’s relationship? Like their perspectives of seeing them be soft with each other and just their dynamic? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense lol <3

hiiiii anon!<3 okay i want to start off by saying that this got WAY too long, bc i loved this prompt a lot- so much that i think i might make this a multi-part thing on ao3! i started with sandy (since i am in love with her) but i’ll also go through the gallaghers/kev & v soon- lmk if u guys want me to continue, and who u would want me to write next if i do (or if u want me to continue with sandy lol i have lots of thoughts and feelings)

this ended up taking place in s10 when we first meet sandy, fyi:) also tw for brief mentions of abuse (as always, bc of terry 🙄) -- and there is a reference to the line in 10x07 that jokes about mickey and sandy for a brief moment

--

When Sandy heard her phone buzz on that Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the stained and lumpy couch in her shithead uncle’s living room while drinking a beer and arguing with Alek about what type of insurance fraud could make the biggest payout, she had no idea what to expect on the other end of the line. The phone kept ringing, the contact info lighting up the screen: MICKEY.

Mickey? Shit. It had been a long fucking time. Between her own various juvie stints as a kid and Mickey’s time behind bars overlapping just as she got released, Sandy hadn’t seen Mickey since… high school, maybe? Whenever it was, it was back when Mickey was a grimy kid with spikey hair and dirty fingernails, a kid with an obsession with guns and way too much time on his hands, back when they would hang out by the train tracks and drink beer and get way too high and do stupid shit; all in all, back when everything was a hell of a lot simpler. Sandy assumed Mickey had met Royal and been clued in about her shitshow of a life at some point while she’d been gone, and they’d possibly overlapped at a family party or two a few years ago when they both were in town— but other than hearing about the aftershocks of Mickey coming out and driving Terry up a goddamn wall, so much so that Terry broke his parole and was headed straight back to prison hours after his release, Sandy hadn’t seen Mickey in forever.

Which is why this call intrigued her so much— Mickey was supposed to be in prison for at least a couple more years, or at least that’s what his brothers had said, so why the fuck was he using a cell phone right now?

Sandy nodded her head towards the cellphone, cutting Alek off mid-sentence and sliding her thumb across the screen to pick up the call. Before saying anything, she rose off the creaky springs of the couch and speedwalked out to the front porch before answering— whatever the fuck Mickey wanted, she assumed he was calling her because this conversation wasn’t for the ears of any other Milkoviches. She lit a cigarette and leaned against the post of the front stoop, listening to the silence hanging heavy on her phone’s speaker.

“Mickey? You there?”

A low chuckle came from the other end of the line.

“Fuck. Been a long time.” Mickey’s voice sounded the same; punchy and snarky, maybe a little gruffer and raspier after years of cigarette smoke. Sandy waited a moment for Mickey to give more of a reply, or an explanation for his call, but it was clear that Mickey wasn’t going to give one right away— it was like he was testing the waters, like he was deciding if making this call was the right move. Soft static echoed on the phone line.

Sandy totally got it— reemerging from a life of cinderblock cell walls and barbed wire fences fucking sucked, especially when you were a Milkovich and the moment you got out you were faced with a choice, an opportunity: did you want to go back home, or did you want to start fresh, erase your own name, and forget this dysfunctional family ever existed? Sandy knew she felt the same way when she got out. Mickey deciding to call Sandy was a big fucking move, and she realized that— reclaiming your life as a Milkovich on the brink of a new beginning took guts.

“So, I take it you’re out of prison?” Sandy asked after a moment, inhaling another slow puff of her cigarette.

There was that laugh again— Sandy had weirdly missed it. Honestly, Mickey hadn’t ever been too bad to be around— they’d both felt like outsiders in the family, had both always had a strong head on their shoulders and a fucking moral compass, unlike the rest of Terry’s sheep who did his bidding and got swastikas tattooed on their chest. When he was younger Mickey used to follow Terry and his older brothers around like a lost puppy, and he even got those fucking knuckle tats—but later in high school, Sandy remembered seeing something deep snap inside him, bleeding out in “STAY THE FUCK OUT” and “FUCK LOVE” signs taped onto his bedroom walls. At the time she thought it was the fucked-up shit with Terry and Mandy driving him up a wall— but now she realized the constant bombardment of homophobia, coupled with the cuts and bruises blooming on his cheeks and the cigarette burn scars on his arms, must have been signs of Mickey realizing the rude awakening that was inevitably going to come if he wanted to be who he was. Sandy couldn’t even imagine— no one really gave a shit who she fucked, and her cousins didn’t know anything about her sex life—but she couldn’t fathom being Terry’s son, the pride and joy of the Milkovich clan, and needing to outwardly admit those deeper parts of herself.

“Yup, I’m free to join civilization as of this morning. Overcrowding or some shit.” Sandy could hear Mickey also taking a drag of a cigarette on the other end of the line. She smirked to herself. Guess we both didn’t break the Milkovich nicotine addiction.

“So, uh, listen,” Mickey continued, and Sandy immediately knew he was in deep shit if she was the one he was calling to ask for a favor. “I’m in a bit of a… situation. Don’t wanna go into too many specifics, but there might be a massive fucking Mexican cartel after me right now.”

Sandy barked out a laugh before she could help herself. Fucking Mickey. “Oh yeah? Sounds like you’re feeling thrilled to be a free man again.”

Mickey chuckled again. “Fuck you. But hey, d’you think you can bring my shit by to me, so I don’t have to stop by the house and get fucking killed? You don’t gotta rush or whatever, just didn’t wanna show my face quite yet.”

Sandy could feel all the unsaid things wrapped in the way Mickey’s sentence ended. Didn’t want to show his face quite yet because of this cartel bullshit, or because of Terry? She decided it didn’t really matter— Mickey was a good guy, she could spend an hour or so rounding up his shit and bringing it to him if that’s what he needed.

“Got it.” She blew out more smoke, watching it curl and drift over the wasteland of the front yard on a gust of summer air.

Mickey cleared his throat, like he was gearing up to say more. When he spoke, his voice was softer around the edges, more genuine than before.

“I’m, uh. I’m sure you heard everything about me while I was gone. About Terry flipping his shit. Probably not the best idea for me to come around the house quite yet—my brothers n’ I haven’t really talked much since then either.” He paused, inhaling another drag of his cigarette. “I figured you’d get it. And hey, if you can bring the stuff by, I’d love to hear all the badass shit you’ve been up to the past few years.”

Sandy nearly winced—yeah, if by “badass shit” you mean getting forcibly married to a douchebag and then couch surfing for months— but she tried to keep her shit together for Mickey’s sake. She stubbed out her cigarette on the railing of the porch, straightening from where she was leaning.

“I’ve got it Mickey, don’t worry about it. Where are you right now, anyways?”

She could hear the hint of relief bleeding into Mickey’s voice when he replied. “I’m at the Gallagher house? The grey one by the tracks.”

Sandy rolled her eyes. “I was in jail for a couple of years Mickey, not braindead. I know where the Gallagher house is.”

Mickey huffed out a breath, but there wasn’t any sharpness in it. “Excuse me for tryin’ to be helpful, smartass.”

“Why the fuck are you there, anyways?”

“I’m, uh, crashing with my partner for now. Ian?”

Holy shit, Mickey was still fucking Ian Gallagher? Sandy had pieced together that Ian was the reason Mickey came out months after getting married to some Russian bitch, and according to Iggy the whole reason Mickey went to jail in the first place was some love-crazed revenge plot on Ian’s behalf— but since getting locked up Mickey hadn’t kept in touch with anyone, other than a shady-as-fuck message to his brothers after he’d busted out of prison letting everyone know that he was in Mexico, despite getting thrown back into jail in Chicago a couple months later. Sandy didn’t really know the details, and she especially didn’t know anything about Mickey’s love life— but it was wild as fuck that someone as unsettled and ruthless and batshit crazy as Mickey could’ve been with the same person all this time, especially someone as seemingly bland as Ian Gallagher. Huh. Wonder if I’ll get to see Ian.

“Got it. I’ll round up your shit and bring it by the Gallagher house later today. And don’t worry, I won’t let anyone know you called til you’re ready.”

Mickey exhaled on the other end of the line. “There shouldn’t be much, just check the drawers or whatever. “

Sandy knew for a fact that most of Mickey’s lingering possessions had probably been taken, sold, or thrown out by a zealously homophobic Terry by now, but she wasn’t going to say as much to Mickey over the phone.

“I’m on it. See you in a couple hours.”

“Hey, Sandy?” Mickey blew out a long breath, and this time Sandy couldn’t tell if it was because he was still smoking or because he was riding a wave of relief, releasing the floodgates of anxiousness he’d been holding in the whole conversation. “Thanks. I fuckin’ owe you one.”

Sandy smirked. Maybe Mickey being let out of jail early was a good thing, despite how fucked his whole situation seemed— maybe, for once, someone in her family would be fun to be around, wouldn’t set her teeth on edge every two seconds by making a racist comment or forcing her to be something she wasn’t.

“I’ll text you when I’m almost at your love nest.”

She imagined Mickey’s grin as he replied. “Fuck you. See ya soon.”

**

After scraping through every rickety dresser drawer in Terry’s house for nearly an hour, Sandy could barely come up with anything that was reportedly Mickey’s: a couple of tattered shirts, an impressively overused-looking bong, and a single sneaker she’d left behind because she couldn’t find the other one. She threw it all in some shitty burlap rucksack she’d found on one of the bedroom floors, assuming no one would miss it— it dawned on her that maybe her cousins were lying, and some of the other stuff in the house was still Mickey’s, but she’d collected what she could based on the whispered directions Alek and Iggy had given her when Terry was out of the room.

Sandy unlocked her phone, and typed a quick message to Mickey. “Out front.”

Mickey’s reply came quickly, and Sandy noticed the front curtains rustling on the top floor of the Gallagher house.

“Coming down”

The front door creaked open, and Mickey walked out onto the front porch. He looked good; he looked cleaner, sure, but also like a fucking adult—like he’d grown into himself, like he actually carried himself with confidence instead of just pretending to. He nodded his chin up at Sandy in acknowledgement.

“Long time no see.” He smirked, leaning on the banister. “You make a good delivery service. All those hauls we did with Terry must’ve been good training.”

Sandy lazily walked up the front steps, reaching the bag out in front of her for Mickey to take. “Here’s all the shit I could find. It’s not much.”

Mickey jerked his head to the open door behind him. “You wanna come in for a sec?”

Sandy grinned. Why the fuck not. “Sure."

So that was how she found herself perched on what was presumably Ian Gallagher’s bed, watching Mickey ruffle through the burlap bag, his brows furrowed as he realized just how much of his shit was actually gone.

“This everything?”

“As much as I could find.”

They comfortably chatted back and forth about how everyone was— Sandy decided to divulge the fact that Mickey’s brothers were idiots who tried to crawl in bed with her every night, which is something that she had to joke about so she didn’t go fucking insane sleeping under the same roof as them.

“Fuck ‘em, chop their nuts off next time they try it.”

Sandy smirked. Finally, a decent fucking relative. She made some hollow joke about staying with Mickey, alluding to the extra-shitty night decades ago when their cousins had forced them to make out when they were way too high on something.

“Or I could stay here with you. Have fun like we did when we were kids.”

“You know that’s fucked up, right? We’re fucking cousins!”

“Plus he’s taken.” A voice came from around the corner.

Ian Gallagher looked bigger, taller, and more solid than Sandy remembered; he was definitely miles away from the scrawny kid with the bangs who worked at the Kash N Grab that Sandy and her cousins endlessly used to fuck with in middle school. Ian’s shoulders were wide, his body imposing in the tiny room; immediately, Mickey’s aggravated stance softened when Ian walked in, wrapped in a towel from the waist down.

“Oh right, you.” Sandy grinned as Ian hunched over the bed and grabbed his deodorant from the nightstand.

Mickey had turned back to the bag of clothes. “Hey, I had shampoo and shit, is there soap anywhere?”

Sandy rolled her eyes. “You’ve been gone for years, you think your brothers would save that shit for you?” she bit out— and okay, maybe she was a little pissed at Mickey’s brothers for the constant-sexual-assault thing.

Ian just applied his deodorant and leaned in close to Mickey as he passed by the bed towards the doorframe. “You can use mine. We’ll hit Costco later, I’m getting paid.”

It was stupid, but Sandy felt something soft pang in her chest at Ian’s words; it was just now that she was realizing it, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen someone take care of Mickey before, or so… automatically factor Mickey’s needs into a situation. Being a Milkovich was all about scrounging and scraping, and guarding what little you had; a Milkovich would never let someone use their fucking soap just because they cared about them, or not as an immediate reaction anyways.

“Nah, I can’t, man. PO texted me when you were in the shower, he’s got a job for me.”

Ian kept looking at Mickey from where he was leaning in the doorway. “Then give me a list of shit you need, and I’ll pick it up for you,” Ian said in an overly simple tone, like he was mocking the fact that Mickey didn’t realize Ian would run an errand for him.

Sandy smirked. Jesus, Gallagher is whipped.

“Isn’t that cute, little domestic bitches,” Sandy crooned before she could help herself.

Ian stepped into the room again and leaned in towards Mickey, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s cheek while Mickey aggressively tried to uncrumple one of the pile of shirts from the bag.

“Mm, thank you,” Ian said in reply, his voice muffling as he smushed his face closer to Mickey’s.

Mickey instantly smiled smugly as Ian’s lips pressed against his cheek—then he noticed Sandy was staring, so he flipped her off and smiled even wider. What the fuck? Sure, Mickey had flipped Sandy off, but he was practically fucking beaming in a way that Sandy had never seen. God, wonder if I’ll find this shit someday.

Ian detached himself from Mickey and walked out of the room, Mickey’s eyes lingering on his torso. Once Ian had turned the corner Mickey snapped back to attention, fixing his eyes back onto the small mountain of clothes spread on the bed in front of him. Mickey lifted the bong off the bedsheets, and met Sandy’s gaze. 

“You have to go, or d’you wanna hang for a bit? I don’t have to be at work for a couple hours, and it’s gonna suck enough that I should probably be high before I get there.”

Sandy grinned. “Hell yeah, I’m down.”

**

They sat on the rickety back steps of the Gallagher house, silently taking hits and passing the bong back and forth. It had been years since they’d been in the same space, but Sandy and Mickey easily sank into a comfortable silence, passively surrounded by the shrieks of kids playing across the alleyway and the bubbling of water as they inhaled. Mickey blew smoke out of his nose, then sat back so he was leaning against the banister and passed the glass pipe to Sandy.

“So,” Sandy started as she held the lighter to the bong and inhaled deeply. “Ian Gallagher.”

Mickey huffed out a laugh. “Yup. That’s some Romeo and Juliet shit for ya.”

Sandy smirked as she exhaled. “You really fucking love him, huh?”

Mickey eyebrows raised almost imperceptibly as he looked towards her. “Yeah. Guess I do.” He took the bong from Sandy’s outstretched hand. “Took me forever to get shit straight with him, though.”

Ah. So their road to domestic bliss wasn’t as straightforward as it seemed. Sandy’s curiosity was growing.

“Because of shit with Terry?”

Mickey stiffened, coughing a bit as he exhaled smoke, like Sandy’s question caught him off guard. “Shit. Yeah. That too. Let’s just say there were lots of fucking ups and downs, and we both had a lot of shit to unpack.”

Sandy snickered. “You sound like a fucking couples therapist.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. “If you wanna see couples therapy, I should tell you about the months me and Ian were sharing a fucking cell. We nearly ripped each other’s heads off. We literally stabbed someone so one of us might get sent to fucking solitary.”

Sandy’s laughter grew. “Are you fucking serious?”

Mickey grinned, and passed the bong back to Sandy again. “Fuck. Yeah. I fucking love him, though. He’s fucking crazy, and I still can’t let him go.” Mickey looked off into the distance across the alleyway, and either the weed was really hitting him right now, or he was being a very sappy motherfucker.

Sandy nudged Mickey’s knee. “You guys are cute together.” Mickey’s eyebrows raised when he heard the word “cute,” and Sandy quickly tried to rephrase. “Not cute, but y’know. Good for each other. You seem happy. Happy is... good.”

Mickey nodded pensively. “How’re you doing, anyways?”

Sandy shrugged noncommittally. “Eh. We can talk about me another time. How the fuck did you and Ian end up sharing a jail cell, anyways?”

Mickey let out a throaty laugh. “I heard Gallagher was getting locked up when I was down south, so I essentially pulled some strings and fucking snitched on the cartel I was working for. Hauled my ass back up here so we could be together.”

Holy fuck. Sandy’s jaw nearly dropped. “Mickey, you’re batshit crazy.” She shoved him squarely in the chest this time. “Are you fucking serious?! You evaded the feds, were living in Mexico, and you came back for Ian Gallagher?”

Mickey rolled his eyes again, placing the bong on the steps. “I can’t explain it, man. I just didn’t wanna be anywhere else, I guess.”

Sandy leaned back onto the banister. “Shit.” She paused for a moment, wondering if she should ask the next question. “Do you… want me to tell anyone you’re back?”

Mickey glanced over at her, his eyes alert. “Nah. Not yet. That okay with you?”

Sandy nodded. “Of course.” Mickey pulled out his phone, checking the time and presumably looking for a distraction from tiptoeing around talking about Terry— but Sandy had to tell him, had to let him know one more thing.

“Hey, Mickey?”

Mickey looked up. “Yeah?”

“I don’t really know the details of what went down with Terry, or whatever— but I just wanted to let you know that… if you ever wanna come home, I’m on your side. No questions asked. And I think a lot of the others are, too.”

The corner of Mickey’s mouth ticked upward. “Thanks.”

Sandy stood, checking her phone and zipping her leather jacket. “Well, I’d probably let you sober up a bit before your big parolee first day of work.”

Mickey raised a middle finger up to her from where he was seated, but then rose to stand.

“Thanks for comin’ by. And hey—you’re free to crash here anytime. There’s a million fucking kids running around all the time, but there’s always a couch or something open if everyone at home’s giving you too much shit.”

Sandy felt something warm growing in her chest. It had been a long fucking time since someone offered to take care of her, just because they could, just because they wanted to— maybe being a Milkovich wasn’t half bad. Maybe there were some good ones.

Sandy nodded in acknowledgement, and turned to walk down the creaky back steps. Wow. If Sandy was sure of one thing right now, it was that Mickey really, really fucking loved Ian Gallagher.

[gallavichthings]

Today’s interviewee is the lovely Emma ( @livinginsunnyhell / ProstheticLoVe), author of hits like Never Tear Us Apart, Homecoming and The Evolution of Kissing. While she might still be considered somewhat new to the fandom, having been here for a bit over a year, she has already largely contributed to it and I’m sure will continue to do so in the future! 

GT: What can you tell us about yourself?

E: I am an American female who wishes she lived in Europe. I recently transitioned from working in marketing to data analytics. I love traveling, reading, exercising, knitting, coding, and writing. I’m also in the process of moving across the country for the second time. I’ve been writing fanfiction off and on for about 15 years which is nuts to think about. Actually more like almost 20 years but I didn’t publish anything until I was 14. I love writing, it’s my greatest passion, but since I’ve transitioned more into a STEM field it’s exciting to find other things I’m good at too. I definitely have a growth mindset when it comes to my hobbies and in my life in general.

GT: Wow, sounds like you have multiple skills! That's incredible! How do you choose what you want to do when you have some free time?

E: Lol thanks. Yeah that’s a great question cause I honestly have no idea. I wish I had more free time. I’m in the middle of knitting a dog sweater for a friend and I haven’t had as much time as I want to work on it. It was a lot easier when I wasn’t working.

What works for me is having a set goal of what I want to do everyday for writing, exercising, and coding. I got into a really good habit of doing all three of those things after I lost my job and it all kinda stuck. I’ve also virtually stopped watching TV except for new Shameless episodes. I just haven’t had the time. Since I have such little free time right now I’ve been focusing on what I really want to do which is make my writing better, get better at coding, and exercise for my sanity. So it’s really a juggling game and utilizing what little time I have for things I want to work on.

GT: I'm so jealous of your focus. I just graduated in webdesign and I should DEFINITELY practice coding and learn more, but I just feel so tired! Same with writing, I spent a long time not writing anything, trying to get back to it now… And don't even get me started on exercising… Seriously jealous.

E: I know exactly what you mean. I should preface this with saying it took me a very very very long time to get to where I am with writing every day and exercising. I went years without writing especially when I was working in marketing because of writing content for websites everyday and I was burnt out, so I definitely get it. For me, covid weirdly centered me and helped me figure out what I wanted my life to look like going forward. Losing my job really was humbling and a blessing in disguise cause it helped me kinda get back to where I wanted to be. Obviously it’s difficult and I was lucky but it’s not something you do overnight it’s taken years to get this mentality.

So don’t be jealous! That’s awesome that you graduated in web design! It’s a very fun and growing field. I have friends who really love their jobs.

GT: Tell me a bit about your history with fanfiction. You said you started writing it really young. What fandom did you write for?

E: So initially I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have notebooks upon notebooks full of Buffy fanfiction that I never published (and that’s deeply terrible). But after Buffy my first fandom I posted in was That 70s show. Then there was Veronica Mars, Lost, Sons of Anarchy, The OC, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, Once Upon A Time, Arrow, X-men, and Degrassi (over several years and flowing obsessions). They were all generally never finished.

As I got older, I started to write better and focus more on the art and process of writing. I also developed better grammar and storytelling. I’ve gotten many, many, reviews saying very critical things that in the end helped me be a better writer.

After a while of not writing, I came back to fanfiction for The Vampire Diaries fandom and Veronica Mars when the movie was released. And I think that’s when my writing went from cobbled together fics that were rarely finished to an actual story I was proud of.

What’s really interesting is seeing the upward trajectory of my writing. I wouldn’t recommend anyone reading those early fics (I’d even argue no one read my very first few gallavich fics from last year) but it’s fascinating to see how I went from tiny very terrible stories to ones that were much more in depth and well rounded. The last fandom I was in before gallavich was a super tiny one called Veep and prior to that I hadn’t written in years.

GT: What made you want to get into the Gallavich fandom?

E: I had seen Shameless when it first came on Netflix many years ago. My mom actually watched the show since the beginning and loved it and kept telling me to watch it. Finally I got around to doing it and really enjoyed it until I found out Mickey wasn’t on the show passed s5 so I stopped watching at s5. (Most of my ships never got a happy ending so I didn’t want to watch another ship crash and burn.) Then right before season 10 came out I think I was on Tumblr and saw someone post about Mickey returning so I went and did some research. Once I found out it was true, I decided to rewatch and rediscovered gallavich. And as always when I develop an obsession with a tv show/movie/book, I turned to fanfiction. It’s funny cause I was in a very small fandom so coming into Gallavich was almost overwhelming because it’s so big and there’s so much to read.

GT: Tell me about it! It's impossible to catch up, not that I'm complaining. Which of the fics you've read did you enjoy the most?

E: I know right!! It’s incredible! So the first multi chapter fic I read that really solidified my love of gallavich was The Road To Ruin by bricileur10. I was blown away by that fic. Holy shit. I also loved The Sun, Chasing The Moon by devovitsuasartes. I really liked the method of storytelling and where they took the story post canon. And the other one I read in the beginning and loved was When the Party’s Over verse series by emryses [@merlinoutofcontext]. As you can see I’m very into canon compliant. I also really enjoyed the Our Souls series by @wehangout and Drop Your Guard by allysavedtheday (also I highly recommend Seal my Fate). Now, I’ve also really enjoyed Like Real People Do and Everything About You by grayola [@gallavichy]. And anything by Coldreign, gallavichsecurity, AnnaNSmith [@annansmith], sadwhales, and @captainjowl​. I’m trying to get away from only reading one shots but right now that seems like the only thing I have time for. 

GT: And what was the motivation for your first Gallavich fic?

E: That’s a great question. So my motivation in general for fanfiction is if I’m dissatisfied with something that happens in canon, I feel unfulfilled, so I need something to help wrap up the story. The reason I write in general is two fold: 1) I can’t find a story I want to read that has the specifics I’m looking for and 2) I can’t get an idea out of my head.

I hadn’t written for about a year I think when I wrote my first gallavich fanfic. (Like I said I had a lot of WIPs that were abandoned and I didn’t want to do that to another fic.) So I started off slow with a fix it fic, which turned out okay. It’s called Fifty-Five Fires and it was set right before 10x10. Then a multi chapter evolutionary fic about their kisses which I loved writing because it expands over 1-10 and I really wanted to write something that explored their history together. I got the idea for The Evolution of Kissing because I saw a showtime compilation of their history and it triggered the idea of exploring their kisses. I was hesitant to write the fic but the idea wouldn’t leave me alone so I did and promised myself I’d finish everything I started and I have.

GT: Has the fandom reception to your fics surprised you?

E: Yes! It does surprise me. It’s funny when I look at my writing I think it’s okay. It’s better than where it was but I still struggle with a lot. It’s such a process. When I read over my older fics and when I say older I mean in the last year, I see the weak areas I should’ve written better rather than what’s actually really good. There are areas I definitely want to work on like I’m too introspective and I need more action. I’m hoping with my upcoming fics I can change that.

GT: When did you start watching Shameless and what attracted you to Ian and Mickey's relationship?

E: I started watching Shameless when it came out on Netflix a few years ago and then came back right before season 10. I’d seen it off and on through the years but until it was on Netflix, I hadn’t seen more than a few episodes here and there thanks to my mom who watched it religiously. I remember her telling me about Mickey and Ian’s relationship and now when we watch it together, she always awws when something happens with them. One of the first episodes I saw was when Ian left Mickey at the border and I remember being intrigued by it.

Initially what attracted me was the bad boy liking the ‘good’ guy. But then I got to know the characters (and understand them more) and I really liked Mickey’s internal struggle toward accepting himself and then his fierce love for Ian. I also loved how Mickey took care of Ian when he was diagnosed with bipolar. I really enjoyed Mickey’s transformation and I loved how sure Ian was of Mickey. Initially, I was really drawn to Mickey but now I’d say I enjoy watching Ian just as much. I have a newfound appreciation for Ian, especially when I rewatch. Mickey’s so much more in your face with everything and Ian is so much more subtle and I really enjoy that juxtaposition. The biggest attraction to their relationship is the history, their deep love for each other, and their friendship. Their relationship is also so layered and there’s so much to explore as a writer and an audience member but you know these characters love each other deeply. You can feel it.

GT: Do you have a preference for writing one of them?

E: I go back and forth cause I want to show both of their POVs. In my multi chapter fics, I switch off. I find writing Mickey easier but I relate more to Ian. Ian I find to be very difficult to write especially as an adult. In the beginning of s11, I found it difficult to write Mickey too. I always worry I write them too soft. But I like writing them equally.

GT: What's the most difficult thing about writing them?

E: Oh that’s a hard question. I’d say 1) keeping them in character. I really strive to keep them in character no matter what and sometimes it’s easier to do than others. I’ve nixed huge scenes and entire ideas cause they sounded off to me or I know I couldn’t keep them in character.

2) the emotional scenes. I’ve written some scenes where they talk to each other and try to work through their shit. This is most evident in Never Tear Us Apart and it’s difficult to balance who they are with what they would say and do in an emotional situation. There are some things I want then to say but I know they’d never say it. So specifically in Never Tear Us Apart Ian and Mickey both open up to each other about different things and they are long speeches but I wasn’t sure how to write what their character would say without it coming off as unrealistic and preachy and off putting. So it’s really that balancing act between believable and being true to their character. I found this particularly difficult with Mickey in the beginning of writing gallavich and then after s11 started. I worry I write him as too soft (and sometimes too smart, even though I think he’s smart) vs. keeping him in character.

GT: It really is a trick balance.

E: It really is!

GT: What's the best thing about writing them?

E: The best thing about writing them is that there’s so much to explore. I love writing canon compliant fics (although I do have an AU coming out for the Big Bang and I’ve started outlining another AU) with them because there’s just so much there. They have an incredible amount of history to choose from and explore and I feel like every time I watch a new scene I discover something else about their relationship I want to write about. You can write teenage gallavich or explore Ian just being diagnosed with bipolar and Mickey finally coming out. Then there’s post s5 and all the things you could imagine after that. There’s Mexico or prison. Finally established gallavich which is my preferred writing niche is a lot of fun to write. My favorite part about writing them is how they take care of each other. I like reading and writing Mickey taking care of Ian when he’s having a low episode and I like Mickey working through his internalized homophobia with Ian’s help. What’s so great about writing gallavich is their history and the foundation of their friendship. They genuinely like being together and that’s the basis for all the fics I write about them. They genuinely just like each other.

GT: Do you do any research before or while writing?

E: Yes lol. I have a whole process. Either I’ll rewatch a few scenes or in the case of Chocolate and Cigarettes I rewatched the entire first season. Generally I’ll bookmark a part to look into later so I don’t lose the writing flow. Usually I research while editing or to get into ‘the mood to write’ I’ll rewatch some scenes.

GT:  How much of your fics are outlined and how much is written "on the fly"?

E: All of my fics are outlined. From the multi chapter to the one shots. Outlining helps me so much. I mentioned before that I have a lot of abandoned fics in other fandoms and that’s because I wrote on the fly with no idea where the fic was going. I slowly got into outlining in the last fandom I was in but it wasn’t as intensive as it is now. When I wrote The Evolution Of Kissing, I wrote my first in depth outline and I contribute that to how quickly I finished that fic. Now I outline everything and it’s also a way to help me figure out if I genuinely want to write the fic. If I finish the outline and I’m lackluster about it, then I won’t write it. However I don’t always stick to the outline. Sometimes the fic has a mind of its own. But usually outlining helps me finish the fic, know where I left off, add in little hints to wrap everything together, and check off the scenes and themes I want to incorporate.

GT: How often do you post when you write multi-chapters? Do you write chapters in advance or do you post them as you write them?

E: So generally I post once a week. Usually on Wednesdays or Friday/Saturday. I got into a really good habit of posting once a week. (I used to post sporadically. The gallavich fandom is the only fandom I’ve written on a schedule.) The outlining really helps to guide the story for me. I’ve never written chapters in advanced except for the Big Bang fic I’m working on. That’ll be my first story I’ve written all in advanced and posted at once.

I prefer to write as I post them because sometimes people will leave comments that make me think about adding in other scenes or going in a slightly different direction.

GT: Yes, I totally get that, feedback is important. Speaking of, what are your favorite kinds of comments to receive?

E: It is! And it’s fun to see what people think of the story and what will happen. Lol any comment really, whether someone wants to leave an emoji or a long comment, I’ll take either. It’s just nice to know people are enjoying the story. I do like hearing where people think the story is going or what their favorite parts are. I recently had a lovely reviewer leave an amazingly heartfelt comment that was really impactful. I also love to see people who have read a few of my stories return and leave their thoughts. Honestly I just like engaging with the readers and hearing what they think of gallavich and the storyline I decided to explore.

What I like about aO3 though is the ability to give kudos. I like that you’re able to see if people are enjoying the fic even if they don’t feel comfortable enough to leave a review.

GT: I wish we could leave kudos in every chapter.

E: Yes! I agree. I wish that was a feature too.

GT: What kind of fics do you write the most?

E: Mostly I write canon compliant. I have written a lot of one-shots lately that are bunched together in different series but I like writing multi-chapter fics more. Recently, I’ve had a lot of one-shot ideas. Most of my fics are established but I also like writing pining and getting together. I’m tentatively stepping into the AU world with my Big Bang fic and the next multi chapter fic I write, which I’m planning to be 20 chapters.

Lately, most of my fics are fluffy, but I also have smutty and a little angsty. It’s hard since most of the oneshots I’ve written recently have been very soft and transcending through their history. But for my next fic, I want to move away from that and write more angsty and lots of pining. This is a long way of saying I like writing different things so you’ll find a little of everything.

GT: What about reading, what kinds of fic do you usually read?

E: Oh wow I have so many open tabs right now. Lately I’ve been reading established and s11 fics. I have really enjoyed watching the new episodes and then reading new fics that help to fill in the gaps. I love established gallavich and reading where writers are taking them. I love the little cute domestic moments in fanfic that really bring gallavich to life.

Overall, I love reading canon compliant but I have enjoyed reading AUs with chef Mickey, best friends, enemies to lovers, soulmate, and meet cute fics. I also enjoy reading fics that explore their issues too such as Ian’s bipolar and Mickeys internalized homophobia.

GT: What makes you close the tab and give up when you're reading a fic?

E: Generally my computer crashes lol. Or I finally get around to reading the fic. I also have a spreadsheet of fics that I sometimes put everything into to help keep track of everything. Honestly I’ll close a tab and five more will pop up of fics I want to read or saw recommended. I think right now I have 80 tabs waiting to be read.

GT: Lol no, I meant, what makes you stop reading?

E: Oh lol! Duh. Sorry. I’ve been reading a lot of one shots cause I can’t get away with reading a one am fic right now so that’s helpful to stop reading organically.

Also, I’m picky about what I read. I dislike reading OOC, pet names that wouldn’t happen in canon (like baby and sweetie), saying I love you too quickly, slow burns that aren’t actually slow burns, large grammar mistakes (everyone makes them but when they are happening consecutively it can take me out of the moment.), actions that take me out of the moment or words that a character wouldn’t say, and lots of telling vs showing. If I like the summary, I’ll definitely check it out. This is across all fandoms for me. I really value when someone can write a character in character and show they understand them so fics that miss that mark I can’t get into as much unfortunately. Oh! Also character bashing. And I mean any character.

GT: To be fair, Ian did call Mickey "baby" canonically now lol

E: That’s true and I have to come to terms with that. I also took it as more of a yeah baby type deal! But it’s all up for interpretation. I do like coming up with nicknames Mickey would use for Ian so there’s that.

GT: Which other characters from the show do you like? Do you ever read or write about them?

E: I love Fiona and Carl and Lip. I don’t write anything other than Ian and Mickey but I have my own head canon about Mandy and Carl. I also really like to write family scenes and Ian and Mickey with the rest of the Gallaghers. I guess I like writing Mickey and Ian interacting with other characters (except Frank and Terry) but I wouldn’t write a whole fic about another character on the show.

GT: Wait, tell me more about that headcanon about Mandy and Carl.

E: I’ll probably get a lot of hate for this and it’s not a popular opinion but I think Carl would be great for Mandy. He is the sweetest. I think (minus his White Boy Carl phase) he treats women well and Mandy needs someone who appreciates her. I think her and Carl could be happy together.

Lip was always so awful to her and I think Carl would be the badass she liked from lip with the sweetness of Ian. Carl just had to grow up. It’s really weird I know.

GT: It's definitely unusual, but I've seen worse pairings. It's difficult for me to imagine because I still think of Carl as a child, but in reality Mandy is what, 5 years older? But yeah, it's a bit weird for me, though I've definitely seen weirder, so maybe someone will agree with you.

E: Yeah I know what you mean. I still see Carl as a little kid too. And this is so a futuristic head canon. It wouldn’t happen for like 10 years when it’s one of those things where they run into each other at gallavich’s first kid’s birthday party. They just happen to be eating together and Mandy still sees him as a little kid but they become friendly and hang out at these whenever they’re put together. And a few years after that they slowly become friends after Mandy moves back to a Chicago and Carl randomly runs into her. Over time, Mandy stops seeing Carl as a kid and Carl admits he used to have a crush on her and they one day decide to start dating after they’ve both been stung too many times by other people. So it’s all very much in the future. Like I said it’s kinda weird and I don’t actively ship it. It’s just a nice way for two characters who have been dealt a bad hand in love to get a happy ending.

GT: What's your favorite Gallavich fic that you’ve written so far and why?

E: They’re all my favorites cause they’re my kids lol. But I’d have to say that I’m more proud of some of the fics I’ve written than others.

I really enjoyed writing Never Tear Us Apart and the oneshots that came after that. I loved writing established gallavich and having them start to work on some issues. It was a lot of fun to write the holiday oneshots and dive into their first year of married life.

The fic I’m most proud of though is the Chocolate and Cigarettes series. It’s two five chapter fics, one takes place from Mickey’s POV and the other from Ian’s and it’s from before canon to 1x09. Cigarettes is about Mickey learning to come to terms with being gay and what that means. It’s a deep dive into his sexuality and Chocolate is about Ian learning what love really is. It’s basically how we got from Ian thinking he’s in love with Kash to running to Mickey when Monica comes back. This is the fic I tell people to read when they ask what they should read by me. I really like the themes it explores and how it all comes together. I think it brings to life what could’ve happened behind the scenes in season 1 that we didn’t see.

And after it comes out, my Big Bang fic will be my favorite cause I really love the pining and sexual tension in this fic. There’s a scene that is all sexual tension and it’s description, so it was difficult to write but it came out really really well.

And lastly my favorite one-shot is tied between Sensory Detail and Bathtime For Bondage. The first one deals with clothes sharing for gallavich, which I loved to dive into the history of some of their clothing items and how it ties into their own history. The second one is about them scheduling bath tub dates and I really enjoyed writing Mickey’s growth of enjoying baths and that romantic time with Ian.

GT: Where do you get the inspiration for your fics?

E: Everywhere. It’s really a disease. I get inspired to write all the time. Sometimes I get ideas from moments in the show that I wonder what would’ve happened if something changed or I get inspiration from metas or other fanfics. When I talk to @annansmith​, I get a bunch of ideas as well like the bathtub fic. Sometimes I’ll just be running or taking a shower and an idea will hit me that I can’t shake. I have a lot of ideas but not enough time to write them. And also I’ll see prompts on tumblr too. @ianandmickeygallavich​ just posted a bunch of great prompts that looked fun to write. So really it’s everywhere but it’s what sticks with me that I end up writing.

I have a google doc I dump all my ideas or situations I want to explore into. Sometimes I’ll just write hand holding and I know I want to write a fic or a scene about hand holding. The google doc is about 5 pages and color coded to help me figure out what’s just a fleeting idea and what I genuinely would have fun writing.

GT: Again, I'm very jealous of and amazed by your organization skills.

E: Lol I will gift you my skills. I have a lot of anxiety and planning helps to combat it.

GT: How many fics do you have in the works now? What can we expect from you for the future?

E: So I am working on a little series called The Passing Of Time right now. I have two more parts to finish in that series. It focuses on specific moments in gallavich’s relationship such as friendship, hand holding, romance and shows the development from the beginning to now.

I also have a Big Bang fic that will be coming out that’s an AU. I’m really excited about it. It’s very different than any fic I’ve done before. And it’s an idea I’ve had for a really long time so it’s been great for that to come to fruition.

And then my next project is a multi chapter fic that will also be AU. I would like to write a post s11 fic exploring gallavich’s new life living on the west side. I’d also like to write another fic that continues in The Rest Of Our Lives series which dives into season 11 with fix its and filler scenes. But I only work on one fic at a time so there’s a lot of things I want to write and it’ll take awhile to get around to it. So yes you can expect a lot more from me in the future.

GT: Awesome!

E: Lol thanks! I’m looking forward to it.

GT: Back to Shameless, if you could change one thing that happened to Ian and Mickey on the show, what would it be?

E: Hm... that’s a great question. You know I’m not happy with all of the decisions that have been made or the directions they chose to go in. I had an issue with the start of s11 for instance, but I am happy with where they have ended up. As someone who wasn’t sure after watching 11x1 I have been really happy with the season and I think the finale will be really good. Obviously it would’ve been great if Mickey stayed through the series but I’m not sure if we would’ve gotten the same ending that was as satisfying. I think we would’ve gotten way more drama for drama’s sake rather than letting the storyline go organically. Obviously we’ll never know what would’ve happened post s5 if Mickey stayed, but I would love to know what they had planned. So it’s probably an unpopular opinion but I am happy with the trajectory of the show. There were a lot of trials and tribulations but I’ve never shipped a couple who got that happy ending, who got married, and who we got to see grow. And if we had to go through all of that just to get a really great ending for them, then I think it’s been worth it.

That being said I do have issues with certain aspects of the show. I mean I wouldn’t write so much fanfiction if I was completely satisfied with it. There are areas I wish we would’ve gotten to see more of and themes that I think should’ve been further explored and interesting to see in their story.

GT: Such as?

E: I would’ve liked to see more about how they fell in love back in season 1 and the summer of love in season 2. What was going on in season 2? There’s not much there. We know they hook up but Ian overall doesn’t have a huge storyline in s2. And how do we get from Mickey and Ian just hooking up in season 1 to Ian running to Mickey post Monica’s return? I’ve written my own what I think happens but it would’ve been great to see just a tad more to really understand and see Mickey softening to Ian and Ian learning about Mickey.

In season 4 to 5, it would’ve been interesting to see what happened after Ian wouldn’t get out of bed and how they got to cohabitating with Svetlana. What are Mickey’s feelings there? Especially with Yev. It would’ve been interesting to just get a little more feelings about how Mickey balanced all of it. As for the first low episode, how did they both deal with that? Did Mickey try to talk to him? Did Ian tell him it was just the drugs?

While Mickey was gone, it would’ve also been nice to see Ian miss him more. We’ve gotten some great Mickey missing Ian scenes but it would’ve added to the story (and the heartbreak) if it was reversed. Ian is really depressed in s6 and we can assume why but does he still have Mickey’s stuff around? Does he think about him at all? Does he tell stories about him? Also what happened between s5 and s6 with Mickey’s sentencing? Was Ian there? And Ian visiting Mickey in prison and in juvie. What happened? Did he go often? Did he visit once a week or once a month?

I would’ve also loved to see them more in prison and their life there. What was Mickey thinking? Was Ian more remorseful? How did they come to terms with being back together? Did they have any conversations about the past? Or did they just pretend everything is fine? Prison I think would’ve been the most interesting storyline they pretty much skipped over their time there to get them back to the Gallagher house.

Also later on in their relationship in s10 and s11 I would’ve liked to see how they dealt with Ian’s bipolar. It was such a big thing to tear them apart and yet we don’t see much of it since it doesn’t add to the story so it’s not utilized. I also would have liked to see Mickey talking about Ian leaving him in prison and the border. How did they work through all of that? Or have they? And it would’ve been interesting to hear the follow up and the rationale a little more about the monogamy conversation. How did they end up there? Why are threesomes okay? Will they reevaluate the rules later on? And how does that mash up with Mickey beating someone up when he found out Ian did the porno/was cheating in him? Also the porno? Is that just totally forgotten?

I guess I just wanted to see a bit more into their lives and how they ended up on certain topics and things together. And the themes I’d want more explored are: falling in love, heartbreak, Ian’s bipolar, Mickey’s past, Ian realizing he needed to do better, monogamy, staying in love, parenthood, and dealing with the past.

GT: Basically, we all wanted the Gallavich show. Or at least for Shameless to have better writers lol. I understand the feeling, it's the wasted potential. They could have done much more with them, showed so much more, that we can't help but feel disappointed that we didn't see more. That's the great thing about fanfiction though, we fill in the gaps ourselves, many times over.

E: Yes exactly! It is wasted potential! I actually feel like that too with Fiona's storyline as well. They basically made her storylines all about guys after season 3 and it’s really a shame because I love the family aspect of the show.

GT: What's your favorite season of Shameless? Do you have a favorite episode?

E: Oh shit lol. Hmmmm I really like seasons 1-5. I think they are really well done. I could watch those five seasons again and again. (And I have) without skipping any scenes. But if I have to pick a favorite season... I think I’d say 4 cause that’s where a majority of my favorite episodes lie. However, I’ve also really enjoyed seasons 1 and 11.

Yes I have a favorite episode. I have several. I love 4x11 and 4x12. I also love 10x12 and 5x09. But I’d I have to choose 5x08 because the sorry I’m late scene is my absolute favorite. There are many scenes I’ve watched over and over and have really enjoyed.

GT: That's about all I had to ask! One last thing: how did you come up with your AO3 and Tumblr usernames?

E: Sweet! Well I love Buffy the vampire slayer and one of the characters refers to Sunnydale (the name of the town they live in) as Sunnyhell cause it’s the mouth of hell. And my AO3 name is actually a song by typhoon that played during an important Veronica Mars scene and LoVe is the name of the ship that I enjoyed in Veronica Mars. So it’s a play on the song and on the ship.

I just wanted to say before we finish up that this has been really fun to do and I thank you for the opportunity. I’ve read a lot of the other interviews and I love that you’re doing a wide variety of authors in the fandom. It’s neat to see authors that I’ve read and enjoyed and writers who I’ve never read but now know about and am looking forward to checking out. So thank you so much for doing this and showcasing a wide variety of authors and artists. It’s a great opportunity and I appreciate it as a reader and writer.

GT: Thank YOU for participating, it was a pleasure. 

[twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for]

oh oh oh!! i just read your detective dying ask and i was wondering how you think the RO would react if they woke up again? my grandad had his heart stop beating for about two minutes and then was up and all fine, so it’s possible right?

I’ve been dying to answer this lol It’s unrelated to my answers but this also made me think like... this but the LI realizes the detective is like seconds from dying and covers them in bites in a desperate attempt to save them, to do something before it’s too late, and then the dread they’ll feel when the detective’s heart stops pumping and that guilt that they were too late... when surprise it worked

A would like immediately go limp with relief. Maybe so tears that they’re fighting to not let fall? I see them pressing a soft kiss to the detective’s lips and then a firm one to the detective’s forehead before resting their own forehead against the detective’s for some good old fashioned intense eye contact (it’s A’s brand) that speaks all the words for A that they can’t manage to speak or find the words to express how they feel. Also thumbs stroking the detective’s cheeks. Also I’m thinking later that night (detective would probs be in a hospital bed and I’m thinking A is like packed onto it too holding the detective while they sleep) A is running their fingers along the detective’s face and running their fingers through the detective’s hair (if applicable) and speaking love words in Latin ( because like who wasn’t weak for tu omnia)

Listen the N crying dial would already be at 11 but the second they hear the detective’s intake of breath and that familiar heartbeat back up... the dial gets turned to high that it’s like... broken. N would hug the detective tightly and probably cry into the side of the detective’s neck with relief. Words of love are def there but like hard to understand between sobs. Once they calm down a bit, the words would become more comprehensive. A lot of how much they love the detective and how they could never go through that again and how they don’t know what they would do if they lost the detective. N would probably take up too much space to try and share a hospital bed with the detective, but would definitely sit beside and holding the detective’s hand all night. Occasionally bringing the detective’s hand to their lips to place a small kiss to the detective’s knuckles if N is confident that it won’t disturb the detective and their rest. No sleep that night, just watching a very alive detective and counting their blessings. N will become insufferable for months after this and will not want to leave the detective’s side. Probs has lots of trauma.

F would be crying on the same level as N but like as soon as they hear the signs that the detective has miraculously come back to them they’d be laughing (feat. tears). The laughs would be part hysteria, part relief, part disbelief, and part happy. Will probably joke with the detective about how F shouldn’t have even thought for one moment that the detective wouldn’t come through and pull off something unbelievable like they always do. Has to be threatened to physically be pried away from the detective if F doesn’t stop attacking them in kisses. I think F would absolutely be in the hospital bed with the detective, snuggling them while they rest (throwback to if you save Sanja in book two) and thinking about how lucky they are but I feel like they would also have some alarming thoughts at the blaring realization of the detective’s mortality... not that they haven’t ever thought about it before but now it’s so in their face. Might bring up the detective’s thoughts on becoming immortal once the time seems right.

M.... is hard to say. Especially because they struggle with their emotions a bit. Because I’m so obsessed with how the detective eases M’s sensitivity... I’m thinking like one minute M’s senses are dulled, then they hit them full force (a more powerful way of notifying M that the detective has died), and then a couple minutes later... BAM things are dulled for them again. I honestly think the emotional roller coaster and also the realization that the detective died would be too much for M in the moment. I think the strong emotions would immediately translate into anger or irritation. Very like “Don’t you EVER do something stupid like that again” if it’s mission-related. If N is present they would probably have to tell M off. M would prob need to take a breather to collect themselves and their thoughts. I think that anger/irritation would quickly turn onto themself along with the instant regret at their actions. On their way to see the detective at the hospital they would probably get a lecture/sympathetic advice from N. Bonus points on the guilt if your detective is the type to ask M if they’re okay as if the detective wasn’t the one who literally just died. Also there would be a rare and coveted M apology. M’s love language is physical touch so I think they would get in the hospital bed with the detective but would only do so if it didn’t seem like their idea maybe. I definitely think they’d need the affirmation of the detective’s well being and I think little physical gestures would be the way that M would try and communicate what was going through their head at the time. I like to think M would try their best to verbalize it as well but would also admit that it’s not their strong suit.

[piracytheorist]

Since the first thing that strikes me about re8, story-wise, is that it seems to be all over the place? Again, I’ve no idea how it ties to previous games but it feels like this parental/mother-child theme is just hanging there with no resolution at all? I mean yes, Ethan saved his daughter, presumably breaking some sort of abuse cycle, yay, congrats, but what about his wife/gf? Isn’t she supposed to be like the main protagonist of the story of a mother bereaved to the point of tyrannical madness

Or rather, this specific story is not the right choice for his character since there’s SO many ethical and philosophical issues and questions implied but never properly explored because of Ethan’s ‘fuck you, idc’ attitude (which is completely understandable in those circumstances but adds virtually nothing to the plot and arguably even ruins it a bit). Heisenberg could’ve been an excellent ally with fascinating grey morality (provided the writers wouldn’t push him to the point of absolute insanity and let freedom, not power-hunger be his main goal and motivation for rebellion).And again, aren’t the lords supposed to represent child development stages? In which case Ethan what? Kills the possibility of some evil version of Rose? Or his own chance to experience fatherhood throughout all of those stages? Either way, it seems a bit… weird to have a Parent destroy multiple people whose main relevance to the plot is that they’re children of an abusive antagonist in a storyline so extremely focused on parent/kid relationships.

I feel like the main theme of re8 is not just parenthood/motherhood, but the relationship itself of the parent to the child. There's a lot of mentions to "children being used". Miranda kidnapping people, experimenting on them and mutating them and then treating them like they're her kids; Miranda kidnapping and practically killing Rose; Dimitrescu making daughters out of reanimated corpses she experimented on; Heisenberg wanting to use Rose's powers, etc etc.

And it's important that Miranda is at the center of this. There's something very interesting she says to Ethan in her boss fight:

"Why do you interfere? Surely you have no need of Rose now, so close to death?"

And that's where her mistake was. Ethan wasn't doing all that because he needed Rose herself. He was doing it to save her, fully aware that he wasn't going to be a part of her life cause he knew he was dying. Miranda was way too dependent on her love for Eva - and like, I honestly get it that losing your child can devastate you (if anything my fear of that is one of the reasons I don't want to have kids) - so much that her life literally revolved around her child. Once Eva died, Miranda wanted to die. Once she found the Megamycete and discovered she maybe had a chance to bring Eva back, she dedicated her entire life and ruined multiple others to do just that. Her one and biggest need was to get Eva back. It wasn't a simple want or wish. It was a need. She'd get her child back, damn everyone else - including other people's children.

Miranda had no-one to blame directly; Eva had died from the influenza, it wasn't like she had any chance to change things. Ethan's case was different; he had people to blame, particularly, the one who kidnapped Rose and dismembered her, and her lackeys who kept said parts and fought him for trying to take them back.

So on one end, you have a parent who lost her child due to a tragedy, and ended up destroying other - innocent - lives in order to get her back. On the other, you have a parent who lost his child due to a crime, and ended up going after the criminals responsible in order to get the child back. Like, it wasn't even revenge, and it wasn't that he "needed" Rose in his life. He simply wanted to save her and ensure she'll be alright.

I fully agree it could have been Mia as the protagonist in re8, and that it was a wasted opportunity to simply fridge her and have her in the sidelines angsting over her husband. But whether it was Mia or Ethan as the protagonist, I feel like the theme that I explained above does offer a resolution, showing the opposites of Miranda and Ethan, and ending Miranda's tyrrany of her "need" to have her child back through Ethan's determination to ensure his child's safety and happiness - even if he doesn't get to be a part of any of that later on. Miranda showed obsession; Ethan showed dedication.

And this is how I see the abuse cycle breaking and the resolution is reached; an obsessed parent hurt a good parent's child to bring their own child back - the good parent's dedication stopped the former, allowing the former's tyrrany to end and their child to grow up safe.

Seeing as this is a horror game, I don't tend to focus on the morality issues (if I'm interpreting your second message correctly). Like, the developers are making a grant effort to put us in Ethan's shoes, first-person POV, plain character protagonist and all; our child got kidnapped and practically murdered, and we have the chance to bring her back. We'll absolutely raise hell to the people who are responsible for it and we will get our child back, fuck any moral dilemmas we might have. When someone is threatening your life, you have the ability to kill them to defend yourself. In the case of a caring parent, that ability may multiply by a lot when the threat is towards their child. And I feel that this is what the game explored in the end. Though the whole survival issue is taxing on Ethan, he doesn't give a damn about who he has to kill if it means saving his daughter - but again, it's only the responsible parties. We see how watching all the people at Luisa's house die affected him, and even before Elena died, he wanted to ensure her safety before he went searching for Rose; he is sympathetic and morally rational, but also capable of cold-blooded murder if someone is threatening his child. To a lesser extent, we saw that in re7 too. With his life on the line, he killed Jack (multiple times) and Marguerite, and at the end he recognized how they were actually victims of Eveline. But they were still actively trying to murder him so he wasn't given the chance to help them. With Zoe, he promised to send help, and he did, even wanting to talk to her once she'd been rescued by her uncle and Chris. The same applies to re8, but as I said, it's multiplied since it's his daughter who's in danger, and the end of re8 proves he cares for her safety more than his own.

Now, all that said, I think it's important to note how it's stil a Resident Evil game. I haven't actually played or watched any playthroughs of other games, but the basic concept in these games, from what I understand, is that the player shoots zombies; ex-human beings who have lost any human mentality and will just come for your throat if you don't kill them first. They're not humans anymore, they can't be reasoned or sympathized with. It's not really an issue of morality, ethics or philosophy. Your life, and the life of your child in the case of re8, are in danger. You don't give a shit. You just start shooting and hope for the best. Again, I don't know if the morality issue is explored in other RE games, but to be honest... Resident Evil doesn't sound like the kind of franchise that's thematically into going super deep into the morality of shooting zombies to save your life.

I have to admit I haven't thought of the Lords being representative of child development stages. I think they could be put as Moreau being a toddler, fully dependent on their parent - funnily enough, the Greek word for baby is "moro", pronounced almost exactly the way "Moreau" is pronounced in the game - Donna as a child, Heisenberg as a (rebellious?) teenager, and Dimitrescu as a late teen/young adult (if anything, Dimitrescu seems to behave like the eldest child of the bunch). But I'm not sure the connection that has to Ethan as a father, if anything because the bosses are fought in complete random order of age, if my analysis is correct. Like, I understand the symbolism behind the Lords' behaviours, maybe as you said they represent the obstacles Ethan had to overcome. In one single day and with his life on the line, instead of in the course of Rose's entire childhood and adolescence, but that's exactly why he hated being a protagonist of a horror game, lol.

Anyway, yeah. All in all, I don't think Resident Evil is a franchise where we should expect to sit down afterwards and ponder whether we were right to shoot the zombies that were trying to kill us. Again, I'm not the right person to ask this, since I don't know anything about other RE games, but that's the conclusion I'm making in a meta-thinking way.

[lovelylevity]

A Risk Without Reward/Maxwell Lord x Reader

Synopsis: It’s been ten years since your passionate college relationship with Maxwell Lord. You can’t sleep and your mind wanders to Max.

Warnings: Nothing risqué! Basically pure angst...

Author’s note: I have been going through an awful case of writer’s block, but after listening to Lucy Dacus, I finally had enough energy and creativity to put some words on a page! This lil fic is based off of her song “Addictions”, (which I literally could not recommend more!!). I don’t really know what I wrote, but I’m honestly proud I just managed to write anything at all, lol.

Word count: 640

-

You toss and turn between your silky sheets. You can’t sleep. Usually the television would provide some welcome white noise on sleepless nights like these but ever since Maxwell’s commercial went live, you lost the peace that came with your tv. You check the digital clock on your nightstand- 2:00 am. 2:00 am with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling. It was one of those days where you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Maxwell Lord was your college boyfriend, and it felt a little pathetic to admit that some nights you can’t sleep because you’re thinking of him. It’s been 10 years since you graduated. You’re an author now, a New York Times bestselling writer for crying out loud, a well-adjusted adult with a respectable job.Still, on nights like this one you still feel like that nervous kid walking into freshman orientation. You remembered that magical July, riding shotgun through the Pacific Coast Highway, watching the crystalline waves shimmer as Max sang along to American Pie. You sent so many nights parked by dingy hotels, cradled into each other, watching the stars and the airplanes, but mostly catching not-so-secret glimpses of each other. Who knew one day it'd be so hard to have him by your side?Max was the most ambitious person you’ve ever known, obsessed with making sure every second of his day is productive. That was interesting to you in college, his ambition fueled your own. It was as if you would both reach the stars you looked up to all summer long, side by side as soon as you both graduated. But Max’s ambition quickly caught up to him. Soon you realized he viewed you the same way he saw the business ventures, were you a risk without reward or did you make him proud? This is usually as far as you let your mind wander. You know yourself, if you picture him for one second longer you’ll bury yourself in a hole of nostalgia. But even worse, you’ll start to wonder what if. What if you ignored his faults? What if he climbed next to you in bed right now and looked at you with the same love he had 10 years ago? What if you were interesting enough to keep him captivated? But you weren’t. God, it’s strange how easy it is to forget all the shit he put you through. No matter how far you travel, you always return here. This crossroads between you and Max. A path you’ve been down countless times, a choice you’ve already made. Yet, here you are once again, now floating before your landline, your fingers ready to call him again. You’ve done this before, you know he’ll pick up. Maxwell loves a challenge. You have a signing tomorrow, you have to rest. You pick up the glossy plastic phone. A yawn escapes you. You insert the first three digits. The linoleum floor is cold, your sheets are still warm. The next three flee your fingers. You take a step back, the phone still in your hand. You check the clock again- 3:30 am. Tears now silently stream down your face. You force the phone back on the hook. You might call but you shouldn’t. You’re addicted to him, to his voice, to his approving eyes. The approval you haven’t felt in a very, very long time. He might pick up, but he shouldn’t. He was addicted too, addicted to the way you needed him. Addicted to the way you craved his approval. You know how good he feels when he hears your voice, how strong it makes him think he is. Today you make the choice to no longer let him control you. To release all those years of senseless waiting, to force his grip free. You go back to bed and finally, sleep finds you.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, MORE BLOOD Vol. 12: Mukami Ruki [Another Story]

Original title: アナザーストーリー

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, More Blood Vol. 12 Mukami Ruki [Deluxe Edition]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Takahiro Sakurai

Translator’s note: I feel very much conflicted about this CD still. While I do kind of like how they took a different approach with the Another Story track and the way it ends, I still think Ruki went way too far in the main CD. It was interesting to see everything from his perspective too, although this means there’s a bunch of inner monologues in this and it’s Ruki so they’re quite long. I try to break up the paragraphs by describing what happens based on background sounds and such but this one just has a bunch of rambling lol. 

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

“Lately, she has been formidable. Even though she was always the type of girl to make the most foolish mistakes, to the point where one would wonder if she did it on purpose. She has not been getting scolded by me either. That does not bother me. Or at least, it shouldn’t bother me. So why do I feel so...restless?”

*Ding・dongー Ding・dong*

Ruki walks up to you in the inner courtyard.

( So that’s where she’s been...Look at her just casually watering the plants... No wonder she did not show up in the library. I assume she has completely forgotten about our meeting. )

“So this is where you’ve been.”

You flinch.

( Huh? What’s wrong? Why would she be so surprised just because I called out for her? Also...Under normal circumstances, I’d assume she would panic and spray water all over me with that hose she just so conveniently happens to be holding. Yet, she made the wise decision and turned off the water. )

“Oh well. I shall praise you for ceasing your actions as soon as you saw your Master approach. However, there should be something you have forgotten.”

You bring up the promise.

“Oh? So you do remember. Then you should have just hurried to the library.”

( Now this is new. I didn’t think a scatterbrain such as herself would have remembered our plan to meet up. No, if she remembered, she should have come to me straight away. Did she only just now remember? Even so, her behavior is off. Or am I simply overthinking things? )

*TIMESKIP*

( Once it starts boiling, the dressing will be complete. Which leaves just plating the salad. )

You enter the kitchen.

“...Hm? You’re already here? You almost resemble a dog or a cat rather than livestock, lured in by the scent like that. Let me tell you just in case, it is not feeding time just yet. Wait until I’m done preparing it.“

You nod and leave.

( Oh? She left without offering to help? I’m glad to see her so obedient, but then what did she come for in the first place? Usually she would insist on helping even if it’s more of a bother and either cut her finger or break one of the plates. Those are the kind of things she does. )

He turns off the stove.

“What is this feeling as if something is...off? Something about the way she’s been acting trips me up. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her make a blunder even once as of late. That isn’t something which should bother me, but I just can’t seem to get rid of this unsettling feeling in my chest. What has gotten into her...?”

*TIMESKIP*

Ruki enters the room

“We finally made it back. That was quite the disaster. ...Honestly, why do I have to wear the clothes she picked out for me? Well, I suppose she did not make a bad choice for once. I’ll add it to my collection of casual wear. That being said...Nothing happened today either.”

He takes a seat on the bed.

“How many days has it been since she stopped making mistakes? She won’t even show dangerous behavior. What kind of miracle is this? No, I do not mind that. I shouldn’t mind it. It basically means a huge pressure has been lifted off my shoulders. Then why do I feel so conflicted? Her suspicious behavior piques my interest, but even beyond that...”

( I felt as if something was lacking. Oh, I get it now. It all makes sense now. I have not gotten to taste her blood as of late, so I must feel unsatisfied. I am not the type of guy who easily becomes thirsty for blood, nor would I indulge in her without a good reason. However, with less opportunities to punish her, our time together automatically decreased as well. To be upset because of that, I must seem like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum because his mother does not pay enough attention to him. It is obvious since when I have become so obsessed with her

...Since the moment I decided to betray the whole word and chose her, I must have already been enraptured by her. Harshly sucking her blood while restraining her movements was something which fulfilled my desire for dominance. It most definitely made me feel good. However, somewhere deep inside, I felt relieved when she accepted me without fighting back against it. At some point, I even began to cherish those moments where I would pierce my fangs through her skin. I must be quite the easy man as well. I always thought I was in charge, but I may have actually been the one wrapped around her little finger instead. (1) I cannot show myself to that man like this. No, I assume he is already well aware. )

Ruki suddeny raises his head.

“Hm...? That man? Speaking of which, that hourglass I gave her...I considered the possibility but could it be...? Even if she were to make some sort of mistake, if she rewinds time, she could do the same scenario over again. If she makes it so only she remembers, it would be easy to keep it hidden from me. I wanted to believe I was simply overthinking things, but now that I think about it with a clear mind, it really is suspicious...I’m sure that even someone as slow as herself would eventually get things right after two of three tries. If she has been using that hourglass to cover up her own mess-ups, then I have no other choice but to punish her for such a foolish act.”

( It became clear to me that I would have to set up a trap to find out the truth. ーー And if her actions were to be exposed, I would make sure to compensate for the lack of disciplining these past few days. I can already imagine her crying out. I probably should not feel proud for having such thoughts. However, this is not a bad situation. It may be somewhat shameless, but it seems like I am enjoying it quite a bit. To get to use her own blunders as an excuse to suck her blood, or knowing that no matter what I do, she will not get away from me. )

“I suppose I shall enjoy our time together for the first time in a while...Which may just turn out to be a hellish period for her.”

*TIMESKIP*

*Ding・dongー Ding・dong*

Ruki pulls back after sucking your blood.

“...Hah. Your blood tastes even sweeter than usual. By sucking it repeatedly, the flavor ripens, becoming richer, almost like wine. Or in other words, like a stew you kept on the stove for too long. If it simmers any longer, it might just burn. I suppose we could put it to the test. After all, no matter what happens to you, all we have to do is turn back time.”

You keep quiet.

“You can hear me, right? Why not give some sort of reaction? I would not mind seeing you miserably struggle in vain.”

You still fail to give a response.

“Guess she really did lose consciousness. Judging by the looks of it, I doubt she will wake up even if I were to rewind time. I guess you could consider us even now. Perhaps I went a little too easy on her, but I shall forgive her now.”

He takes a step back.

“Such an innocent sleeping face. Almost as if the obscene expressions you showed me earlier were nothing but a lie. Your sheer white complexion and screams were not bad. As well as how you would cling onto my clothes, remaining by my side despite your obvious fear.”

*Thud*

“...Ah!”

*Cling*

“The hourglass...”

Ruki picks up the Hourglass.

“That man might have been testing me after all...Me? Or rather, us? ...Now that I think about it twice, the ability to manipulate time is something which should only ever be given to God. We could have possibly overthrown all logic in this world if we so wished. Yet, we used it to cover up for trivial mistakes. Then this is basically just some child’s toy. However...I am sure that was for the best.”

He turns his head to look at you.

“You might be more of a genius than I thought. However, how many times did you rewind? The magic has almost run dry. The few times I rewinded are basically irrelevant. I wonder just how many times you repeated your own ridiculous mistakes? Oh well, I shall drag that out of her later. I doubt she will easily confess though. ーー No, I suppose there is no point in asking her. I can simply confirm it with my very own eyes.”

*Cling*

“With this amount, we can still turn back time just once. That’s plenty.”

*Thud*

*Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock - Tick tock*

ーーー

“Hm…”

You approach Ruki.

“Oh? It’s you. No, it’s nothing serious. I was simply lost in thought.”

You take notice of the hourglass in his hand.

“You seem curious. Are you that interested in this thing? Blood red sand…Its decorations are beautiful as well. It would make for the perfect interior piece.”

You ask if there is a catch.

“No, it’s jsut a regular old hourglass. There is nothing special about it.”

*Thud*

“More importantly, you mentioned you wanted to look for resources for your assignment, right? Meet me at the library during tomorrow’s break time. I shall help you.”

You seem surprised.

“Yes. As your Master, it is my duty to look after you. However, do not be late, okay?”

You nod.

( Well then...I wonder what the next few days will have in store for me? How many mistakes will you make, and how many times will you get punished by me? ...I am looking forward to it. )

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says that he always intended to be the one ‘holding the reins’, but instead he was actually tied up/restrained this whole time. 

[writing-in-april]

Bowling Ball Baby

Franklin x Female Pregnant Reader

(Franklin is MGG’s character from beginner’s luck)

Gif courtesy of the ever wonderful @imagining-in-the-margins

A/N: I have recently become obsessed with Franklin because of @httpnxtt and @sunlight-moonrise so I decided to write some fluff with a dash of angst for him. I also have smut upcoming for this character as well. Thanks to my beta readers @sunlight-moonrise and @definitelynotkatesblog y’all are amazing!

Warnings: Fluff with a dash of angst, marital dispute at the beginning (is later resolved, and a few swear words.

Masterlist Word count: 1.9k (this was supposed to be a blurb lol)

Fighting with Franklin always left me at rock bottom. We both had feisty personalities but still didn’t fight often, usually just scathing quips when we were irritated. On the rare occasions when we did explode into a fight it was full of screaming, crying, and hurtful comments. Our tempers had been close to boiling over for a while now, my pregnancy hormones were making me extremely irritable and Franklin’s feisty demeanor didn’t exactly mesh well with that.

My 8 month pregnant belly felt like I was lugging around a bowling ball constantly, my back felt like it was being broken everyday. I constantly felt like I was standing on pins and needles, plus the baby felt the need to show me just how strong she or he was by kicking me in the ribs.

The fight had started after Franklin came home from work, I was sitting on our couch with my feet propped up and covered in an ice pack to relieve some of the stinging pain. Unfortunately for my poor swollen feet the ice pack did little to dull the throbbing.

“Hey, Frankie?” I called, hoping I could convince him to swap out the thawing ice pack for a frozen bag of peas.

“Not now, I’m busy.” He answered shortly, his back facing away from me, not fully acknowledging my presence. He was usually extra irritable after work; he felt trapped in his job, like it was holding him back from his dream of bowling professionally..

I huffed loudly, not that he could hear it from the other room, doing god knows what. He returned in a rush with his bowling ball bag in his hand, headed for the door, his Big Z Tires shirt hastily thrown on. My mouth fell open when I realized he was leaving for the alley.

“You’re leaving?” I squeaked, watching him while he hastily shoved a bagel in his mouth.

“I’ve got to go to practice” he muffled around a mouthful, sounding annoyed. I always supported Franklin and his dreams of being the best bowler in Little Falls, but this time I wasn’t going to let him escape his responsibilities of our relationship so easily.

“Could you skip today?” Treading lightly by asking softly. “We haven’t spent any time with each other in like a month and even then it was at the alley.”

His face switched from being annoyed to enraged despite my asking nicely, he was still going to get pissed off- figures.

“How could you be so inconsiderate- you know how important this is to me and the whole town!” he yelled. I was spooked but quickly composed myself before replying.

“I’m not being inconsiderate, you're never here.” I stated in a deadly tone, I didn’t want to make this worse by joining in on his raised voice. “I understand it’s the most important thing in Little Falls, but shouldn’t our baby be more important to you?!”

All I got in response was a dismissive scoff. I could feel myself getting angrier, we’d both said we wanted a baby and for the past month he acted like he couldn’t care less.

“You might as well go move into the bowling alley.” I mumbled under my breath, fiery spite fueling my words.

“Even with the pins, it’d still be quieter than your nagging.” he shot back.

“Excuse me?!” Now it was my turn to shout; he just had to continue to stoke the fire increasing in my belly. I waddled my way to stand right in front of him, ignoring the pain of my swollen feet. I didn't want him to wiggle his way out, if he wanted an argument he was going to get one, he was the one who started it after all.

“All you’ve done is whined and complained these past few weeks.” He was acting like a hypocrite, whining and complaining to me about something we both agreed to do together. I had never felt more alone.

“How would you know? You’re never here to spend time with me!” The timbre of my voice cracked as my heart started to shatter.

“Just stop, ok? I get it you’re pregnant but come on Y/N it can’t take that much hard work!” That comment was the straw that broke the camel's back, my anger turned to melancholy as hot tears spilled over onto my cheeks as I waddled away as fast as I could back to our bedroom.

I could hear his desperate voice trying to get me to come back, offering any pleading or begging he could think of, but I wasn’t having it. As I got to our room I slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it tight so he couldn’t follow me. If he wanted to act like a dick, he'll sleep on the couch for the night. Knocks started to hit the door with his voice barely permeating through the wood imploring me to let him in.

Tears fell down my cheeks while I rubbed my belly, all I wanted was for us to be a happy family, but I needed Franklin to be fully committed. Sinking down onto our bed I contemplated where this left us. I almost packed a bag to stay with a friend for the night but I was too tired to go through with it, the fighting had taken all the energy out of me. The mattress cuddled my body but it wasn’t as good as Franklin, which only made the drops fall harder. My sadness deepened when the knocks stopped, the room now a void, offering no comfort to me. Dread sat in my belly as I drifted off into a restless sleep.

~~~

Physically and emotionally I was strung out, I was in no mood to talk or argue so I had been tiptoeing around Franklin all day, his behavior had made me seriously start to question if he was truly invested in our relationship. Once dinner rolled around I padded my way into the kitchen, the baby had been craving some sweets and I was highly considering just binging on candy.

I glanced over to the stove to find a ridiculous sight standing before me. Franklin had his bowling shirt on- he honestly rarely took it off and had about 5 of them. Covering most of the front of his yellow button up was a baby sling I had bought a few weeks ago in preparation, in it sat my old purple bowling ball I used when I was in Highschool. He must’ve dug it out of our closet as I hadn’t used it since our last competition senior year. A wave of nostalgia washed over me as I reminisced about the old team where we’d first met. I gazed at the 8 pound perfectly round ball, weighing down and stretching the fabric directly in the middle, it looked exactly like what you’d think a bowling ball in a baby sling would look- ridiculous.

“I remember you saying you’ve been craving something sweet so I decided to make pancakes for dinner, I even added chocolate chips.” He spoke, breaking me out of my memory. I hadn’t even noticed he was making pancakes, my focus on the bowling ball strapped to his stomach.

“We’re not going to talk about the bowling ball?”

“Well I was being a dick-” I swiftly cut him off. My rage was being stoked slightly by his whimsical attitude, I couldn’t tell if he was trying to cheer me up or was really that thick and couldn’t understand my frustrations.

“Yeah, that’s the understatement of the century.” I’m sure the steely edge to my tone was not lost on Franklin, and I still wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of eye contact.

“Like I was saying- I was being a dick and I was thinking to myself, ‘Frankie she’s carrying the weight of the relationship right now. You want to get inside a woman’s head? You become a woman.’ So I thought I’d join you in solidarity- as an apology.”

Silence filled my part of the conversation as I pondered his words. It certainly was an odd way for someone to make up a fight, usually people bought flowers, chocolate, or go on a fancy date. Franklin, however, always had a way of apologizing in the most obnoxious and ridiculous ways that were incredibly sweet, but also made me want to bang my head against the wall. He had stopped flipping the pancakes, anxiously awaiting my reply to his apology. The slight char they were getting wafted a burnt smell through the air.

“This is the first thing you thought of for an apology?” I giggled out breaking the tense silence, his shoulders relaxed as he let out an audible puff of breath. I may have found this funny but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook just yet.

“Well- you know me, I’m not very good at apologies.” He said in a regretful tone, turning back to the pancakes finally removing the almost carbonized pancake from the skillet. A cringe made its way onto his face after catching sight of the rubbery burnt cake and swiftly chucked it in the trash. “I really am sorry Y/N.”

“You’re saying that now because your back hurts- Am I right?” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, still not fully accepting this apology.

“No, that’s not the main reason I’m apologizing, but yes, oh my god my back fucking hurts.” His right hand started to massage his sore back as his other poured in the last scrapes of pancakes, sprinkling it with an exorbitant amount of chocolate chips. My mouth was watering at the sight and delicious aroma.

“How long have you been wearing it?” I asked, trying to distract myself from the heavenly scent.

“Like 10 minutes, I totally understand why you waddle now” Flipping over the last pancake, he started to set the table, his waddles were even more awkward compared to mine because of his long limbs.

“Well now that you understand, you’d better be massaging my feet everyday to make up for it.” I sharply stated though I couldn’t help but slip in a few giggles in between. I had been carrying this baby close to 9 months and Franklin could barely handle 10 minutes without keeling over.

“Yes, of course. I promise.” He set the plates of pancakes down on our round table, then pulled out one of the chairs and helped me sit down. I noticed that he had even set up the silverware in its supposed proper place along with the napkins folded into little triangles, he did go all out to make it up to me.“You know, you're the actual god in this family.” He remarked as he slung off the baby sling, relieving the tension from his back. I wished I could do the same.

“I love you, you big weirdo.” I snorted in response. While his godliness was usually referring to his bowling skills, it was nice to have my literal creation and carrying of life inside of me acknowledged too.

“I love you too” He wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing soft kisses to my neck and rubbing my belly, silently assuring me that everything would be alright.

[plush-rabbit]

What headcanons you have in request box actually? I'm really curious lol. Have nice day btw, I love your work!!!!!

Okay, so usually I put some in a doc and then like figure it out from there so if you've sent one in and haven't seen it, don't worry, it'll be done and added once I make a dent lmao. These are also a mix of hc and fics. Some I'm like part way through so ye

There also might be some that I might not do because its vague, like I'm given just the prompt and I don't know what to do with it or there's just no ideas that come to mind so I really am sorry.

Upcoming ones:

Met with Dia and he said “how else will you please me?” And I think it awoke something in me?? Can I request Diavolo with a bashful innocent MC and him just laying back and letting her have his way with him? But of course he’s a total dom so he’s gonna take control but just has a little fun letting her take the reins to start with? Hi. I just found your stuff and you write so well for Obey Me. Could I request a fic with Barbatos and a female MC? Maybe she's staying at the palace for whatever reason and when he goes to his room he hears her moaning his name so he checks on her but she's sleeping. The next day he hints that she must've had a good dream much to her dismay. That night he goes to her room and she's awake and they end up sleeping together. With some praise and maybe even some tail action. Thank you! Can I please get a uuuhhh possessive/borderline yandere Leon please :3c maybe it’s after a big match for her and everyone’s fawning over her and he steals her away and reminds her that she’s his? 💕✨ I saw those headcanons where Jin and Shigaraki became parental or sibling figures to the reader sooooooo how about headcanons of a fem!reader being a mother figure to the league? Just an ordinary citizen in her late twenties until she met the LOV unexpectedly, during the time where the league had to hide and the reader's place is conveniently open (then again I'm sure they'd bust in if it wasn't) and she didn't rat them out. This happened quite a lot of times to the point where the reader is used to it by now and just lets them in, even if they weren't hiding from anyone and just wants to stay for the night. When she got closer to the league, she starts to show care and love for them in a way a mother would the reader isn't a member of the league, but they already consider her as family :'D I just really want them to get care and love since they've been through so much Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 I like the Lucky!Cat!reader hc. Could you do some for the LOV, with a Male Cat s/o? Thank you! You're the best!! I've been obsessing about flowers and their meanings or what they symbolize soooooo. How would the LOV react to their s/o giving them a certain flower and then finding out what the flower means/symbolizes? Hope this passes! It's a request for OM. Can I have headcanons of the brothers + Diavolo (if you don't mind) of their s/o dancing "Paradise Lost" by GAIN? Provided you a link to the video for reference 😁: https://youtu.be/4i32ANEa5mk Headcanons where the LOV has an s/o whose like a literal ball of sunshine. Always happy and bubbly, smiling and laughing, they just seem to epitome of joy. Until one day, they just break down, being so emotionally drained from different factors that they can keep up the act of being happy anymore Last week I literally sat down and read your writing for like an hour and a half LOL It’s just really good and I love your characterization! I was wondering if I could request Twice and Shigaraki with an s/o who tries to be cute and surprise them by wearing their clothes when they return from a mission but maybe the clothes are a bit too snug cuz they’re a little pudgy :( could also be nsfw if you’re ok with that!! Thank you so much 💜💜 hey!! hru? i have a question do you think shigaraki would like a threesome? what if his s/o didn’t want one bc she’s like possessive of him (in a non toxic way) hey plush, can you do a reader x Shiggy and Dabi whos crying to them/grabbing their shirts and burring themselves into shiggy and dabi/ about their verbally abusive ex, how theyre so different from them, so much nicer and softer, how they(the reader) never thought they could be loved or deserved kindness? its been one of those days, i just need some comfort. thank you♡ heyy!! ^^ can i request some headcanons for hawks reacting to his female s/o belly dancing for him? :3 Heyo this is beetle juice anon idk if u remember me I’m the person who said shiggy sounds like beetle juice, I swear I couldn’t get that thought out of my head so can I request shiggy and reader getting hit by a quirk that forces them to do a musically ( idk I just want shiggy to sing honestly lmaoooo) idk maybe both of them being shocked that both of them can sing hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 So, like. Hear me out. What if, with Bakugou and Dabi (separate) : MC is super innocent and cute, blushes at the slightest flirt, and “doesn’t get” dirty jokes, but as soon as they’re alone with their s/o? They are the kinkiest most vulgar bottom they’ve ever seen. Nipples pierced, collar under the turtleneck, chain strung between the piercings and the collar, all out kinda slut. The duality of man. (Gender neutral) Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me) hey, i absolutely adore your writing! i love going through all your work, they’re my comfort fics! 💞 i was wondering if you would mind writing something for tomura with an s/o who is insecure about her body and how skinny she is? she feels too flat, like she doesn’t have enough curves or that she’s grown into her body enough and it makes her feel less of a woman, that tomura could do better. and it makes her anxious when it comes to initimacy and being exposed to him because in her eyes he’s so perfectly handsome and she just feels inadequate... it’s something i’ve had to deal with pretty much my entire life, getting called names like stick insect and coat hanger, but lately it’s been eating away at me more and more. you can totally ignore this if you feel uncomfortable writing about this stuff, though! 💕 could we get a fem reader cock warming Dabi throughout the night and get morning sex >//< // ik youre a busy bee so dont feel obligated to rush or anything, take ur time plushie!♡ can we please get a shiggy x reader and the reader asks him to teach her how to game and she ends up being better than him and whatnot (inspired by that “a simple wager”) fic (if you ever decide to make a sequel to that i will ve DECEASED Can I request a sub shigaraki with a mommy kink getting pegged by the reader ( I just want to make him beg and cry honestly) reader is a female Omh give us noncon/somno w scary eraserhead plsss / aizawa and aphrodisiac smut pwease ( ；∀；) Overhaul and Chrono punishing quirkless reader for being an undercover reporter/agent but like orgasm denial... (Idk if you write this stuff but anyways do it if you want have a nice night) Can I request something like “Peaches and Cream” but with Piers instead? I know you’re busy with other requests, so don’t worry if you don’t have time for this one! I love love your writing!!! Hello beautiful can I just say how amazing ur writing is loll, can I request shigaraki having a crush on the reader and she knows about it, like one day shiggy just goes to her room when there on a mission and just steals her stuff and humps her pillows, but she has cameras in her room so she saw everything, long story short she shows him the videos and humiliates him (shiggy of course a mess and is close to crying from how embarrassing that is, lowkey turned on ) the reader takes care of him ( sorry I’m really bad at endings 🙏🏻😅) the reader pegs him until he’s a crying mess. By the way the reader is a female and shigaraki is a sub has a mommy kink and the reader is dom of that’s ok of course I love your writing!! May I ask for Diavolo x F!Reader with borderline disorder? 👉👈.. Lately it has been very difficult for me to deal with this alone and Diavolo is mine comfort character.. (NSFW Talk, If your a minor..then why are you even reading this?? Get off this 18+ page?? Anyways-). I am a huge sucker for overstimulation, biting and crying, (many of my past partners have called me a sadist-) and I just 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 the idea of Tamaki’s cute face streaming with tears and drool as Male Reader vigorously overstims the fuck out of him. And he would look so 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦 with his mouth gaping open in a silent scream of overwhelming pleasure because M!Reader gave his sensitive dick a handjob while he roughly railed Tamaki’s pretty little ass. (While abusing the fuck out of his G Spot, of course). I can just imagine him squirming and begging for mercy while M!Reader lovingly wrecks his body, taking him hard & fast in multiple different positions with each one making Tamaki wail with pleasure. He’s just so adorable, I just wanna see him get 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑝~ Lusty ❤︎ -Anon. Bonus Points if you could have M!Reader be super fuckin tall, muscular, strong and also be absolutely PACKING. (This man has a godly dick, and it’s honestly a surprise Tamaki can take it so well without literally breaking in half) ahhhh hewwo could you maybe write something with dbd ghostface going full apotheosis for his crush? as in,, he starts to elevate her to a status of divinity and even when she's just cowering in fear in front of him or conversely stabbing him and causing him lots of pain he just keeps viewing her as some sort of deity and  can't stop obsessing over her and wanting more from her

Again. I deeply apologize for not doing some. I wish I could, but (and this is not to guilt trip any of yall or anything, I understand that it'll sound like that it but it ain't it) sometimes the work I put into something and the feedback I get is sometimes not it. Like I'll work hard and get nothing and listen, I get it, its fanfic, there's a bit more stigma to it rather than art but yeah. Its a ramble, and basically, I don't wanna put work into something that I'll only get a few likes on. So yeah. Agains this isn't guilt tripping, I get it. I'm a consumer of it and I get the gist of it but yeah. More thoughts later, when I can properly sit and write as I am currently in a home depot 

[errata98]

Fanfiction I Read in 2020 

I didn’t realize how long this post was going to be until I was about halfway through. And it still is not even close to exhaustive. 

Soo, while 2020 has been such a tumultuous year one great thing about this time in my life is that I’ve had more time than ever to read. I am always so blown away by how much talent there is in fanfiction, so big, big thank you to all the writers that share their work and for whisking me away from real life into something far more pleasurable. It definitely makes my whole day when a fic I love has been updated, and I enjoy catching glimpses of rough drafts and the writing process via tumblr (I’m still trying to understand how their galaxy brains even work lolol). 

It’s long, but I am not putting it under a cut! They’re too good!

Long Fics (>= 50k words)

Roses From Where Thorns Grow by @bdafic​ [incomplete]- I started this a while ago, must have lost track of it, and then found it again this summer. Feels weird to type because this is not really me irl lol but accidental pregnancy fics are one of my favorites kinds of fics. Papa Solas is amazing. Somewhere, I once tagged something with ‘solas dad best dad’ and I think that probably sums up my feelings on the matter. The last chapter I read has left me anxious for more, so I’m eagerly awaiting what will likely be the first chapter posted in 2021. 

Ruins by @luzial [incomplete] - A real story of a couple who broke up, fought each other for twenty years, got sent back in time, and are now trying to make things work again ;) Lavellan here is older and wiser in all the ways that matter, and Solas is... well Solas in many ways is everything we wish he would (and could) be now. Had the most wonderful realization that I somehow missed the last chapter that apparently came out on my birthday, so I know what I’ll be doing later.

Fen’Harel’s Teeth by @5lazarus​  [incomplete] - the conversations in this fic are one of my favorite parts. They’re in character, but they’re also just interesting to read. The words just fly across the page -- it’s smooth, seamless, pithy. I love politics and I love a main character who has her wits about her -- both are in this fic. Also features fatherly!Solas, which I just adore.

By the Still Waters by [orphan account]. This is older, but I knew it was popular so I gave it a shot and... yes, I understand now. I loved reading something from Fenris’ perspective. I loved how he’s a foil for Solas. I love seeing Lavellan as this near mythical person because we see everything through Fenris’ eyes. I love Hawke and Fenris together. Merrill also featured more heavily than I anticipated and she had some of the best lines I’ve ever read.

Pressure Point by 17734 [incomplete] - this fic leaves me constantly unsettled (in the best, most addictive, under-your-skin kind of way). I’ve read the first 18 or so chapters twice, and it’s one of those stories that’s slightly different the second time you read it. I really like the author’s take on immortal beings, some of it is very reminiscent of some of the Greek mythology I read in school - characters are at turns both magnificent and terrifying. The language is also very beautiful, and I’m a sucker for anything close to prosaic. 

Out of Time by destinies - so, I don’t know how I found this beyond just “Twitter.” This isn’t Dragon Age related -- it’s from The Greisha Trilogy, which I had never heard of before -- something just told me I would really like this story. Forced/political marriages’, memory loss, enemies to lovers, the dichotomy between light and dark embodied by a single couple... yes, thank you. I had to kind of piece the world together as I read, which was admittedly a lot of fun, and um... wow, I really loved this! Another one of my ‘binged in a single night’ fics.  

Message Sent by @aicosu [incomplete]- this is coincidentally how I got my former partner into Dragon Age lol. I had originally read it the first time as it was coming out. The second time I read it aloud to them over the course of a few days, feeling very much like Cassandra trying to do certain character’s voices. It reminded me of how much I loved it, and so I feel like it deserves a mention here. Definitely an unorthodox but memorable way of cursing someone with being emotionally invested in the Solavellan romance 

Short Fics (< 50k words)

nothing on my tongue by @ellstersmash - the chapters here are short, and I loved seeing the fic updated put of order. This was my first time experiencing that, and I loved guessing where we were in the in-game timeline, and also, as more chapters were posted, which chapter numbers were still missing and therefore what the missing chapters might be about. I associate this fic with feeling kind of melancholy a lot. I think the word constraints really lent itself well to the Solavallen romance -- beautiful and poignant, but always leaving me wanting more.

In and Out of Time Again by @luzial - hoo boy did I have a fun time reading this one. I actually rarely go for AU’s this “AU”, but I trusted this author, and it paid off. In fact, I think I subconsciously had more doubts than I thought because what started a curious perusal ended in one of those “up until 3 am reading” kind of nights. It was such a fast-paced, interesting read, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next. Ink is one of my favorite Lavellans; she’s just too cool.

The Fourth Day by sass_bot (@knightava) [incomplete] - this was just such a perfect example of how to build tension and dread for the reader, that I still think about it frequently. Also, who wouldn’t love a Skyhold murder mystery?

Beyond the Veil by Pyreite [incomplete] - A 200 years post-Veil fic. Abelas is in it, which is how I knew it was gonna be good hehe. I really like the world-building, and I like explorations of the romance with a more hardened Lavellan. 

I Come to You With Nothing by CommonEvilMasterMind. I’ll preface this by writing that this made me cry with a mixture of sorrow and happiness. The premise is an undercover mission in an alienage which involves Solas and Ellana masquerading as a married couple. It’s beautifully written, and just honestly kind of bittersweet. The writing is itself very touching but I also think it’s almost difficult to read because the Solavellan romance has an arc that looks like it’s just exponentially deviating from anything remotely happy lolol 

That Girl Is Like A Sunburn by @yourstrulycommandershepard - I just discovered this person’s writing this year and I’m kind of obsessed? I went on a whole binge this past summer and *fans self*. I picked this one for my list because I haven’t read that many Solas/Trevelyan fics, and hers are by far some of my favorites. I also love that the titles of some of her fics are Taylor Swift lyrics. I get Solavellan vibes from so many of Taylor’s songs - glad it’s not just me!

Aravel by @playwithdinos - More Papa Solas. I can’t say anything more than it hit me right in the vhenan. 

Wake Up by queenofkadara (@pikapeppa) - One of those fics I thought about for days afterward. The characterization was incredible, and it hurt me to read about Varric brining up Lavellan and seeing Solas’ reaction, and it hurt even more to be left wanting for more, just like Solas. 

[chaotically-cas]

Me talking about the tv show because I just finished my rewatch & I’m absolutely obsessed yet again

Aka a viewing guide

Spoiler warning

Sorry this is so long omg- I probably forgot so much too

Pilot:

Honestly the only true plot that interested me was Tim Shepard & Tim Shepard only. Steve’s care was pretty cool. Some dope Stevepop moments. Nice tarry content. Just nice Darry content over all. Dallas’s scene in the beginning keeps sending me thoughjskakfk

Ep 1:

Honestly I hate hate hate what they did to Sodapop’s character I absolutely hate it. They did him so freaking dirty. But we love pro choice Steve & Two Bit was also pretty scrumptious in this episode as well. I dislike this episode. It’s a no for me.

Ep 2:

This one is smack full of delicious tarry content for everyone to gobble on. Darry is absolutely scrumptious and I love the whole dynamic between him and Tim. I, again, hate soda in this episode. I hate him so much it’s unreal. Why is he like that. But I do love the way they did Buck so oh well. Kinda sad about the lack of Stevie.

Ep 3:

Definitely my favorite episode because iykyk. Steve is just absolutely scrumptious omg they really did a musical episode huh. And that song was really a banger huh. And he really had to look that good? Also Two but was absolutely scrumptious. The whole greaser band was a damn treat I wish we got more off. I will not be addressing the Ponyboy situation because no. Disgusting. Absolutely vile & perverted. No thank you & never again. But omg I cannot describe to you how amazing the band is guys ugh I cannot I cannot they are so cute & I want more content pronto. Also the bonding between Darry & Buck was kinda cute too. Like dar has a bit of a father figure again, it’s sweet.

Ep 4:

Pony is a damn flipping idiot. Wtf is he thinking. Like. Why. Why would he ever do that in a million years. Steve though, was looking fine again. And rip Soda even though he doesn’t die. I think Pony & Soda both nearly dying in this episode is so funny. Also kinda ooc of Darry? Like? Hospital bills are a deal ton and he is just gonna roll it off? Steve was more like Darry than Darry. Probably cause his boyfriends was dyi-

Ep 5:

We will not be addressing Tim & Cherry. Never. But omg. The tarry again guys the tarry omg I died. They’re so domestic & for what?? Also why is Pony such a moody little crap. I hate him in this because he cannot make up his little hormonal mind for a second. Also why can’t they put pants on? The lack of Two & Steve was very sad but ig the tarry vibes can make up for it. Idk what the brothers were on though agreeing to all that-

Ep 6:

A very close second favorite omg. I love the exploration of both Two and Pony’s friendship & the friendship between Steve and Darry. The scene was short but I really loved the dialogue between Steve & Darry. I think this was the one episode they tried (poorly) to give Steve the spot light & ehh. I love him & I loved hearing more about his dad & his relationship with his dad but there should’ve been more idc. I think the whole fact they all idolize old dead white men is a tad weird. But two’s speech on Elvis was the highlight of the episode by far omg. I just think Steve & Darry were idiots for continuing to work but it produced good content ig. Poor Darry though rip almost lol. I loved the Steve plot line of it all even if it was smaller than hoped for.

Ep 7:

Forking hate this episode. It adds absolutely nothing to the plot besides defiling Soda’s character even further. I think it was a poor poor attempted at ‘omg let’s all get along lol’ but came off incredibly racist & umm. It was an uncomfortable watch that is for sure. Honestly I plan on skipping this episode on my next rewatch it really isn’t worth the time imo. It’s just. Weird. 

Ep 8:

Every time I think about this episode I think it could be my favorite hdjskkd but idk. I absolutely freaking adorable the tarry & how they both protect each other. Please they are literally on a date. Soda is an absolute idiot but we know that. Steve was by far superior in this episode & he was a fine specimen too omg they Hawaiian shirt did wonders. Also Stevebit??? Omg please the way they blatantly flirted was so freaking fruity. Darry being a hero & saying the day in an epic way because again, Soda is a complete moron. Idk. Jewel was kinda vibey but Pony was good as well in this episode. Omg this is long but Tim & his parole officer sent me to the moon omg I see why Darry was crushing so hard.

Ep 9:

Ahhhh the two bit centric episode we all needed! I liked seeing how the stayed pretty close & true to his character, besides the drinking. It was fun & nice to learn more about him & his family aside from him just being a wise crack & I think both Pony & Steve saw that. That’s why they both helped him out. & I especially love the way the whole gang stood up for him in the end omg Tim Shepard was scrumptious but isn’t he always. I just love seeing more of two bit & his life & friendships outside the gang. However the scene with Sodapop was absolutely hilarious in an odd way- weirdo boyfriends. Also. Tim borrowing Darry’s suit is by far so tarry & I love them. Tim’s character exploration was also scrumptious in this episode.

Ep 10:

OK BUT- ok but this one also might be my favorite JSKSKKS I’m just gonna keep saying it. Two & Steve are absolutely complete asshole boyfriends. Especially Steve. The energy between two & Steve & soda is absolutely off the charts. Sodapop definitely lost his mind a little bit & I still don’t understand how Buck rationalized his decisions. Pony was just having the time of his life it was so funny. I feel bad for Darry omg it was his birthday & he was stuck being the responsible adult for a loaf of dumb ass kids. But honestly. Soda. You idiot. I know I should feel bad for you. But that sucked. How could you believe that. Buck too. Steve & Two are such fruity cuties though riding around, pranking, smooching, scheming together. Also, steve can draw & is musical? Ok king am I you or are you more attractive that I thought awooga woo 

Ep 11:

Haven’t rewatched it yet, will update with I do. Kinda homophobic that it’s missing the first part.

Ep 12:

Also will update when I rewatch