#good to know i did not underwrite how awkward he was

[br1ghtestlight]

haven't watched the new bobs burgers episode (obviously these screenshots r from bobs burgers instagram) but SCREAMING at this interaction. big day for people who care about the relationship between bob and lily in the years immediately after her death

also learning that as a kid they used to call him bobby i think that's cute lol

[linkspooky]

hey, can you share your thoughts and opinions on dazai osamu's no longer human?(just the book and not in connection with bsd) i read it, i liked it, but i couldnt really relate to it. so im wondering if i should read the setting sun or not. what do you think abt this book?

I don’t think books really need to be relatable to be impactful, but context can help you understand it. In general my advice is the best way to understand a book is to read more books like it. Always, read more books. 

Sure, I can write a repsonse to the text though. The book, not the anime. (Ignore the picture of Dazai, he’s just there to look cute.)

The biggest and most important idea in No Longer Human (Ningen Shikakku).  The most literal translation of the title being  (人間失格)  "Disqualified From Being Human. I bring this up, because use of the character in the title has specific meaning.

人 (hito) : human, person 人間 (ningen): human Generally speaking, 人 is used for people, while 人間 is used for humans as a taxonomic classification. 

Much like English, the fact that a person is a human is usually a given, because in our world, we call those who are humane “people,” and only humans can be humane. Just like you wouldn’t usually count humans with “three humans” and say “three people” instead, the usual way to count three humans in Japanese would also be 三人 instead of 三人間.  “Human society” is 人間社会, etc.

Or to shorten  人 (hito) : human, person 人間 (ningen): human, biological.

So, there’s an extra nuannce there in the translation. The title of the book uses “ningen” as in the sense of taxonomical classification. So, it’s like saying “disqualified from being considered as a part of the human species.” 

I go this far in my intro because most consider Dazai’s work to be a response to Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, (he name drops both Dostoevsky and the novel itself). Both of these novels portray society as a whole as an antagonistic force to one individual, who is considered an outsider to that same society. There’s a lot of similarities between the protagonists, both Raksolnikov and Yozo are terminally ill, show signs of mental illness, and both are characters who show incredible self-awareness and moments of self reflection while at the same time being unable to connect to the feelings or identify with the people around them in any healthy way. 

To connect back to my little rant on the translation of the title though, what could disqualify a person from being considered a human being? Well, they could commit a crime for instance. Then they’d be classified as a crimminal. 

Both protagonists of both novels are crimminals in a sense. However, that’s about where the similarities end. NLH is centrally about the main characters egoism. Society matters so little in NLH, society is just something that hangs ominously in the background to the outsider. 

Now there’s another novel by Dostoevsky that similiarly is recorded in a journal format, and is mainly about the main characters Ego.  Notes from Underground is considered to be one of Dos’s first existentialist novels. Existentialism (to oversimplify) in a sense of what does existing in this world mean? 

That’s why I say the central conflict is not with society itself, but rather within the character’s own head. The outsiders of society only exist within their own heads. Their main challenge is not to grapple with society, morality and law like Raskolnikov but rather to figure out what is inside their own heads and what they live for. 

Which is why the protagonists of both novels are terrible egoists. Their main personality trait is their egocentrism, or rather their inability or unwillingness to try to see or understand the feelings or experiences of others. They are first person narrators who only see the world from their own point of view, but they are not objectve narrators. The only thing they can see, the only thing they can relate to, the only thing they can convey is their feelings to the reader. 

F. Scott Fitzgerald writes a similiar novel from a similiar point of view in This Side of Paraidse, which shows the journey of one young man born into a rich family who grows up to not only lose the love of his life, but also to squander all his fortunes at the end of the story. However, Fitzgerald drops all pretense on what the story is about. The chapter titles are things like, the romantic egoist, the egoist considers, narcissus off duty, all the way to the egoist becomes a personage. 

The book ends like this. 

He stretched out his arms to the crystalline, radiant sky.

“I know myself,” he cried, “but that is all.” 

It’s an egoists journey to developing a personality. To way oversimplify again, ego is yourself that exists in your own head, personage is what you show to others. At the end of This Side of Paradise, the main character gains himself, while at the end of NLH the protagonist loses himself. It’s the same journey but in reverse, it’s a net loss, it’s tragic. 

NLH, This Side of Paradise, and Notes from the Underground are all about egoists who are aware of their own feelings, but aren’t aware of the feelings of others. They’re all ridiculously self absorbed individuals. That’s actually, like, the unreliable narrator trick of the novel. 

Yozo is sympathetic yes, he’s an outsider to society, but at the same time Yozo is not the helpless, miserable victim he portrays himself as. He is not the victim to a cruel society, one he comes from a place of privilege and two he becomes a perpetrator. Hence, the whole... crime and punishment allusions. It’s this added complexity to Yozo that’s what makes the book as brilliant as it is. Yozo is someone who is both victim and perpetrator, but he only sees himself as a victim and the story he tells paints him exclusively as a victim. 

But Yozo’s central problem isn’t society its himself. His conflict and greatest obstacle is always his own ego. The reason we read the book biographically, is because we see him grow up, or rather fail to grow up. As a kid he is sympathetic, as an adult he’s a pretty serial user of people. 

Yozo constantly asks for sympathy, but at the same time he’s not really one to sympathize with others. When he tries to commit suicide with a woman, he reports these events with no remorse at all. 

I removed my coat andput it in the same spot.

We entered the water together.

She died. I was saved. 

He seems real broken up about it. 

That’s also a pattern that repeats again and again with Yozo. If you want to see the real nature of Yozo’s character you should see how he treats both women and children. They exist to make him happy, to soothe his misery, and when they don’t he leaves them. 

Like, out of context. What does this sound like. 

What a holy thing uncorrupted virginity is, I thought. 

I had never slept with a virgin, a girl younger than myself. I’d marry her.

The few times we do meet outside characters we see that Yozo is someone referred to as a crimminal, but refers to himself as a victim. 

“Don’t be cheeky now, I for one have never been tied up like a common crimminal the way you have.” 

I was taken aback. Horiki at heart did not treat me like a fully human being.

If you read No Longer Human as a response to Crime and Punishment, you could even read the many women that Yozo falls into flings with and then promptly abandons as a response to Raskolnikov and Sonya. For Yozo, each woman he meets is his Sonya, they are meant to redeem him and bring him peace, and whn they don’t he leaves. Yozo someone missing the point that, Raskolnikov loved Sonya because he sympathized with her circumstances and suffering while Yozo really only ever cares about his own suffering. 

To bring the discussion back to Notes from the Underground. It’s a story divided into two parts, that really doesn’t work without the second part of the story. In the first part, as we are just fed the main character’s thoughts he looks like some kind of revolutionary philosopher. Then in the second we follow the character though a day in his life and he’s just sort of... socially awkward. He’s not some brilliant thinker, he’s just an outsider who can’t connect with others, like Yozo. The second part is necessary to underwrite the first because in the first part of the journal he looks like a champion, and in the second he’s just pathetic. He’s just some guy. Notes from the Underground also has one of my favorite lines in all of fiction. 

"They won't let me ... I can't be good!" I managed to articulate; then I went to the sofa, fell on it face downwards, and sobbed on it for a quarter of an hour in genuine hysterics. She came close to me, put her arms round me and stayed motionless in that position.

The protagonist encounters a young prostitute name Liza, he tries to save her at first, but then turns around and starts to treat her terribly and has a mental breakdown in front of her that ends in this line. She finds him pitiable, and comforts him in that moment. 

However, after this moment of comfort he then he goes back to treating her terribly once more. He yells at her, and she grows tired of him. He pays her and she leaves and that’s the end of that relationship. 

See it’s a moment that’s simultaneously, a moment of human connection, but also it shows how the protagonist regards other people and why he can’t connect to them. If you only use other people to comfort your loneliness, you’re going to end up alone either way. The same way the Narrator uses Liza, Yozo chronically uses women. 

However, at the same time. 

“They won’t let me... I can’t be good.” 

Is what I consider the most striking lines in all of fiction. It is both an avoidance or responsibility, and at the same time an utterance of the baisc human desire to be good. It's always everyone else's fault, the problem is with other people. Yet both Narrator, and Yozo want to be good people, they want to connect with others. 

Yozo and the Narrator are crimminals. They are bad people. (A person who has committed a crime isn’t necessarily a bad person but..) However, being a crimminal does not disqualify you as a human being. They are still people who are suffering. The secondary goal of a novel like Crime and Punishment is to show St. Petersburg as a city where everyone is human, and everyone suffers, good and bad people alike. Yozo and the Narrator are miserable, and there’s humanity in that misery. You don’t have to even connect to their feelings, isn’t it bad to see a person suffering? Doesn’t that elicit an emotional response because nobody wants to see other people suffering and in pain. That’s the basic humanity in these characters. Yozo and Narrator aren’t inhuman. They’re just like... normal people. They are anxious, avoidant. They are terminally insecure. They’re socially awkward. They understand themselves better than other people. Those are all just normal human sentiments shared by everyone, it’s just Yozo and Narrator are so egocentric they act like they’re the only people in the world.

Yet the same, just like the moment Liza sympathized with a man who treated her terribly and only saw her as a prostitute, people still sympathize with miserable people and want to ease the suffering of others. That’s why Dazai writes stories for miserable people.

I am writing a tired story for young readers,

not because I want to be different,

or because I am unconcerned with young readers’ tastes.

I write it rather because I know it will please them.

Young readers are tired and old themselves these days,

and my story can bring them no discomfort and no surprises.

It is a story for those who have lost hope.

                                                                       (Osamu Dazai, Of Women)

[littleredroseonthevalley]

Meeting the Father

Summary: Michael is invited to a dinner with his girlfriend’s father. Her very intimidating father.

Rating: K - Intended for general audience 5 years and older. Content should be free of any coarse language, violence, and adult themes.

Words: 1900

Notes: So, my last HSS fic did not do so well, but what the heck? Here’s trash no-one asked for anyways.

Every step they take on the paved courtyard towards the front door, the more their souls are filled with dread. Michael’s stomach was turning with anticipation, and he was having a hard time schooling his bodily language into as much of a neutral stance he could manage.

He is never like this. Yes, he is more anxious and concerned than he might appear, but it pales to what he is feeling right now. Michael is a slacker, had a famous Devil may care attitude towards life, but the façade came crashing down the day he was told he had to meet Amanda’s father.

He’s heard loads about Edward Rosenberg, Snr. Every time the boy saw him out on the town, and it was not that many, he found the man to be tall, intimidating, with a dark scowl that would easily make Michael a nervous wreck.

He really, really wanted for his very rich, very powerful girlfriend’s father to like him, to approve of him. He did not want to come off on the wrong foot, lest of all he decided to forbid his daughter from going out with him.

When he expressed his concerns to their friends, they were less than supportive.

“Amanda is an independent thinker.” Emma pointed out. “She wouldn’t let her dad dictate her love life.”

“She might not have a choice.” Luis weighed. “He might ship her back to that boarding school in Switzerland! Or, like, fire your parents!”

The blonde gripped her boyfriend’s arm. “Don’t say things like that. You’re making him nervous.”

“I guess that, what Luis is trying to say, is that Mr. Rosenberg is an intimidating person. He is rich and powerful. Comes with the territory.” Maria tried to smooth things over. “It doesn’t mean he uses it to control Amanda’s life, nor that he is a bad person.”

Aiden shuddered. “I remember when Amanda’s family came to see the school concert last year. They were staring so intensely, I could feel they judging me, wincing whenever I made the slightest mistake.”

“My parents say that Mrs. Rosenberg was a witch!” Myra piped. “She complained about everything, she was very rude… And even a little racist, honestly.”

“Michael is going to meet her dad, not her mom. They are divorced, they could be very different people.” Emma defended.

“He must be at least charitable. He underwrites the budget for the school. He effectively pays for our education.” Maria pointed out.

“That’s even worse! That means he could ask Principal Hughs to expel Michael!”

“Luis!” Emma chided.

Michael narrowed his eyes. “You’re really easing my worries here.”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Better be prepared.” He defended, and then turned to his girlfriend. “Why are you being so defensive about the man?”

“He was always kind to me when I stayed over there, and my mom says he is a very nice man.” The blonde responded. “I don’t know, I don’t see Mr. Rosenberg as doing any of those things. It’s weird.”

Maria patted Michael’s back. “It all will turn out to be fine. You’ll have Amanda with you, right? She knows her dad the best and will help you navigate the situation.”

Amanda, noticing the nervousness of her boyfriend, walked up to Michael, standing in front of him. She almost shook her head in derision, his hands were shaking quite a bit and yet, if she did not press him, he would never tell her what was wrong.

She grabbed him by the hand, causing Michael to look up at her. “He’s going to love you, I promise.”

Michael looked at her with pleasing eyes. “Are you sure?”

Amanda nodded. “My dad, he’s… Surprisingly shy and awkward. It comes off as intimidation and foulness, but he is a very nice guy. Eventually, he’ll warm up and you’ll never hear the end of his terrible, terrible puns. Just give it time and he’ll love you. You just have to be yourself.”

“Be myself.” Michael said. “Yeah, I guess I don’t have any choice.”

Amanda gave him a quick kiss on the lips, resting her hands on his chest, which was roaring unnaturally. “Ready?”

He just shrugged. “I guess.”

Amanda grabbed Michael’s hand and, with the other, opened the front door to the house. In there, a maid was waiting for them to arrive. She greeted with her head silently, and his girlfriend gave her the coat and the purse she was wearing. He awkwardly followed her lead.

With a ‘thank you’ from the young mistress, the maid disappeared into the labyrinthine house.

“She’s the one responsible for the cleaning.” The redhead provided, responding to an unasked question. “If we walk into the house with our wet coats, she would have that much more work to wax the floors later.”

Michael glanced around nervously, before landing his eyes on Amanda. She gave him a reassuring nod, before leading him inside through the hallways to find her dad.

“You’ve got one nice house, Amanda,” Michael commented, looking around in awe.

She shrugged. “I don’t like it very much. It’s too big. I find it rather lonely sometimes.”

Michael could see why, but he still believed it was much nicer than his, even if Amanda would gladly disagree.

The couple walked into the dining room, where another employee was setting up the table, with an unusually high number of cups and forks. Three seats were set, one in the head of the table and two others to the right. The redhead sat on the first, and motioned for Michael to sit on the second.

Three heartbeats later, the master of the house, tall, blond, with clear eyes and finely dressed, emerged from one of the doors. Upon the girl’s que, the two teens stand up from their seats to greet the arrival.

“Good evening, Michael, Amanda. I didn’t hear your arrival; I am sorry for the delay.” He said, with an easy smile.

Edward opened up his arms, waving his hands towards him. Amanda smiled, walking over to Edward. He envelopes her into a big huge, kissing the top of her forehead, but his face was visibly hardened when he made eye contact with Michael.

“You must be my daughter’s boyfriend.” He acknowledged.

Michael nodded frantically, walking over to him. Mr. Rosenberg released their hug as Michael reached out his hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you, sir. I’m Michael Harrison.”

Edward shook his hand firmly. “You’d be Reginald’s boy, right? I’m pretty sure he works at the mill.”

“Yes, that’s it.” The youngest confirms, nervously.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Michael. Let us be seated. We’ll be dining chicken; I trust it is to your tastes.”

They sat down at the table, and, as if on cue, the cook emerged from the kitchen, rolling a cart with the dinner course, while a maid served the goblets.

Amanda unfolded her napkin and set it on her lap, and signaled discreetly the correct order of the cutlery for him to use. It was a stark contrast, conciliating the prim and proper eating of hers today, with her voraciousness eating of a burger when they went out on a date last night.

As they grabbed what they wanted, Edward immediately began to ask Michael questions.

“You’re sixteen, correct? Which would make you a junior like my daughter?” He asked, and the boy nodded in response.

“Yes, sir.” He said politely.

“And do you do well in school?”

Michael shrugged, and reluctantly said, “Relatively, yes.”

Edward cocked an eyebrow at the answer and the gesture. “Relatively?”

Michael’s face began to heat up. “Yes, sir.”

His icy blue eyes measured the boy. “Your school is very demanding, yes, and it is so by design, but I hope you and your colleagues are seizing every opportunity we provide to you.”

“Dad, our school is just as great as the students that attend it, you yourself said that many times.” The girl pointed out. “Berry is a pretty great school, and Michael’s dedication and love for it is an important part of it.”

The man measured her words and decided to drop the line of questioning. Instead he elected his plans for the future. “What do you plan on doing after school, kid?”

Michael glanced over at Amanda, and she gave him a small nod. “Well…” He started, looking over at his host. “I plan on going to college, to study Film and Journalism. I hope to be a documentarist.”

Edward looked at him as though he wanted him to explain, so he did. He went into description of what he wanted to shoot, the places he wanted to explore and the kind of stories he wanted to tell, and how they plan on opening a business, once they can get enough money to do so. Edward nodded, listening to every word he says.

“That’s a nice plan, Michael.” The older man said after he finished. “Me, myself, besides some family engagements in Europe, I have never left New England. I like the feeling of being home, but both of my children take after their mother in that regard, they are inquisitive and daring, and I like how you can support each other in that regard.

“Now, I don’t know how well that will work out for you, though Amanda tells me you have talent, and for what I’ve seen of your student films, I am inclined to agree.”

For the rest of the dinner, Mr. Rosenberg asked Michael questions, evaluating neatly every answer he gives, as if in a job interview. Honestly, he was concerned with his daughter and wanted to make sure she made a good choice, or as good as one can expect a teenage boy to be.

The three of them finished their food, and the father had kindly asked Amanda to fetch a nice chocolate box he kept on the downstairs study. She nodded, taking leaving with pleasure. Her dad never offered to share those chocolates, unless the company pleased him.

Michael, not knowing the quirk of the man, had gave her a pleading look, wanting her to stay with him, but she ignored the plea and walked out without a word. He nervously looked down at his hands that were sat in his lap. Edward looked over at him, and started talking.

“Michael…” He started, causing the young lad to look up at him in a snap. “That’s my little girl you’re dating. She is my everything, she’s all I’ve got right now. I need to know you will do right by her.”

“I understand, sir.” Michael said, giving him a small smile.

“Of course, if you don’t, I have ways to make you fall in line.” He completed with a wolfish laugh. “Please do not make me resort to them.”

Michael laughed a bit, in nerves, but he understood the man a bit better. He was not about to step out of line, so he was not that afraid of him anymore. Squinting, he could even see the kindness Emma was referring to.

Soon enough, Amanda came in with the box in hands. The two of them stopped and pretended that nothing was said.

“Ah, chocolate!” The older man opens the box and takes one, appreciating it longingly. “I would tell you a joke about them, but they are no good, you’d just snicker.”

Amanda cringed. “Jesus Christ, dad.”

“You love’em, be honest.” He laughed.

HSS Masterlist

[dyns33]

The exchange student (1/?)

Okay. This is the first time I write something "hot", so I do not know if it's good or realistic (I do not have enough experience to say it... it was a bit awkward for me to write this). As I'm thinking of doing a sequel, I will try to improve myself. I think I do not describe enough, tell me if that's the case.

And as always, sorry if it's not written in good English.

Warning: sexual content!

We were not supposed to host a foreign student. The University had planned accommodations for their arrival, nothing very luxurious, but enough for all those rich kids. However, it was not good enough according to my mother's American friend who sent her son to France for the semester. She had kindly asked my parents if they could host him at home. They did not ask for my opinion before accepting. And that's how Duncan Shepher came into my life. He looked nice, extremely polite. He offered his help to my mother for cleaning or cooking, he joked with my father, he was studious and had excellent results. Yet I felt that something was wrong. He was too perfect to be true. But given his career choice, it was normal for him to do everything to earn the trust of his future clients. He seemed to understand quickly that he would not get me easily. I understood his little game, and it seemed to amuse him. The small smile that he reserved for me when no one was watching him was starting to become annoying. He was doing everything to find himself alone with me. He needed help to study. He wanted to visit the city and needed a nice guide. He needed someone to translate a word he did not understand. To please my parents, I gave in to all his stupid demands. But only for my parents. Certainly not to be with him. He was handsome, I was not blind, but he was especially annoying.

            I was not a social person The other students did not like me much. For them I was a bitch who thought herself better than all the others. And actually I was the best, but it was not for this reason that I avoided them. They were stupid. They were only interested in three things : money, glory, sex. If I wanted to succeed, it was not to be worshiped or rich, but to be proud of myself. Proud of my life. I would have done something useful, no matter whether people like me or not. And above all, without cheating, without lying, without being corrupted by the system. This was the main difference between me and them : integrity. So maybe I looked like a heartless bitch who was judging others, but I could scream loudly that I'd been successful on my own. I had not entered this university with my parents' money, but by earning a scholarship through my work. I had found a waitress job because I refused to be dependent on them. I did not need anyone. And certainly no morons like them. So why was I kissing Duncan Shepher on my bed as he tried to take off my pants ? How did it happen ?

           I remember that he had asked me to give him details on the History of France. He already knew almost everything and I understood that he was asking me that only to annoy me and make me waste my time. I do not know why we had settled on my bed. My parents were not there. I think that was his idea. "Not to be disturbed if they return earlier." I should have understood the underwrite. But to finish it as soon as possible, I had just shrugged and locked ourselves in my room. Everything was fine until he put his hand on my thigh.  I had not rejected him, too surprised by this gesture. He seemed to take it as an invitation. Putting the history book on my bedside table, he came dangerously close to me. I was stuck between him and the wall.

           "And if we relaxed a little," he whispered, "We understand each other. We are the same. Always the best in everything. But with the pressure ... sometimes you have to let go." I did not know what to say to him. What was he talking about ? To let go ? Pressure ? But I was fine, thanks ! He took me by the waist and he pressed himself against me. I felt his breath in my neck. And his erection against my leg. I started shaking. He was not going... ?

           "So, kitten ?" He said, "what is your answer ? I'm much better than all the previous ones." Which precedents ? Oh. He thought I had experience. I just had to tell him he was wrong and he was going to stop. Men are always embarrassed when they learn that you are a virgin. Especially at 25 years old. Maybe Duncan would make fun of me because of that ? "So ?" He seemed to be impatient. I was going to tell him. Really. But he rubbed harder against me and I could not hold back a moan. It was the answer he was waiting for, and he began kissing me wildly. My first kiss. I did not really imagine it like that. With someone like him. I did not know at all what I had to do. Sex had never been one of my priorities. It was a waste of time. If one day I fell in love, and it was reciprocal, then I would have considered the thing. But in the meantime, I only thought about studies. But now that it was happening... Did I wanted to do it with him? Yes. Really with him ? He was a moron, but yes. Like this ? Not really ... But if I said stop, would I have another chance ? I was so busy thinking that I did not notice he had pulled off my pants and had lifted my sweater. I was in underwear in front of a man. And he looked delighted.

           "You're going to purr, my little kitten, you're going to purr and beg for it never to stop."

           Strangely I did not want him to stop. I wanted more. But what was happening to me ? I was not an easy girl... It was like it was not me, I watched it undo my bra, but it was like a film. A very hot film. Taking my left breast with one hand, he began to suck my right nipple without warning. Oh my God, kill me. It was so embarassing, so weird, but sooooo good. I knew I had sensitive breasts, but it was not like when I touched myself. That hot hand, that mouth, that tongue, those teeth. When he started playing with my panties, making it go down slowly, I could not longer breathe. "You're wet kitten," he said, licking his lips. "Just for me, and I barely touched you. It must have been a long time." I was going to answer him no, it was the first time. But when his tongue touched my clit, I could not think straight anymore. But I started to panic a bit. I knew what would happen next. I never dared to go further when I masturbated. I rubbed myself and it was enough. But to put something inside of me ? I was too afraid of the pain. And I was way too tight because of the stress. He was going to realize something. He was going to see that he was wrong and he was going to make fun of me... Then he was going to leave me like that. What could I do ? When he introduced a finger, I did my best to relax. It was a strange sensation, which I did not really like. Then he started to move and it was different. Sometimes he touched a spot and I could not stop myself from trembling and moaning of pleasure. He introduced a second finger, and his mouth returned to my breasts, then on my mouth.

           "Are you ready kitten ?" He went away to undress. I did not even notice that he was still wearing all his clothes, while I was completely naked. Damn, I was going to see a penis for the first time ! It was a lot of firsts times in once. I did not really have an element of comparison, but he was... well made. And I panicked even more. Was it not too big ? Duncan seemed to take my reaction for admiration. He had a big smile, as if he was very proud. "Impressive, huh? Still need to know how to use it." In a few seconds he was back on me. "And I know perfectly." he said, kissing me passionately. I did not have time to react, and at the same moment he penetrated me. I uttered a little cry, of pain and pleasure, then there was only ecstasy. For the first time my body managed to move and my arms wrapped around him. I wanted more. I needed more. "You're all tight and wet kitten, it's so good ! Cum for me kitten ! And say my name !" His cock was touching the spot. Again and again. I felt something rising in me. I clung to him desperately and my eyes met his. His piercing blue eyes devouring me. So it had happened. I thought I had orgasms when I was touching myself. I was very wrong ! Fortunately my parents were not there... I shouted his name several times, while I felt something, a liquid, pouring into me. He too had cum. Inside me. I did not think about it at the moment. There was no risk, I took the pill. But he could have asked...

           I thought he was going to lie down with me, but he caught his breath, then he got up to get dressed without saying anything. He put on his hair before turning to me. He seemed to appreciate what he saw. I started to feel ashamed. He laid a kiss on my forehead before heading for the door. "It was really great kitten, we'll try it in the kitchen next time." And with these words, he went out. The next time ? Because he wanted to do it again ? Then I remembered my parents. I hurried to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed before they were there. The next time ? Did I wanted to ? I wasn't sure... Friends with benefits, that was what it was called? Not really my thing. The semester was going to be long.

[takadasaiko]

Houseguest Chapter Three

FFN II AO3

Summary: Tony and Steve' investigate the burglary at the Stark Industry.

Chapter Three: Always Come Prepared

Tony didn't bother calling ahead to the location. He didn't typically make trips out to facilities unless R&D work was being done there, so on the off chance that someone inside his company had orchestrated the break in he didn't want to give them any warning. Granted, he had to admit there was something amusing about watching people scurry when the man whose name was on the side of the building showed up unannounced. Not everything could be strategic. Life was meant to be entertaining.

Cap had decided to tag along rather than go into town. He looked like a fish out of water as he followed Tony into the facility, and even more awkward as the SI employees went into overdrive for the surprise visit.

"Mr Stark?" Tony turned to see what he assumed was the man in charge around there barreling towards him. "Bill Wiley. I'm sorry nobody greeted you when you arrived. No one said you'd be coming in personally," the building manager said as nearly raced to meet him.

Tony greeted the sweaty man with a handshake that couldn't be avoided without coming across like an ass. "It was taking a while for the report to hit our servers. I thought I might be able to speed things along."

He didn't miss the way Bill Wiley glanced nervously at Rogers who, in turn, was sweeping every visible inch of the space with that sharp blue gaze of his. He might be behind the times on tech, but Cap had proven resourceful when he was interested in uncovering the truth on something. Maybe it was a good idea to have brought him along afterall.

"Well, it was in the middle of the night with our skeleton security crew, sir. We've been working with the police and running inventory on —"

"Perfect," Tony cut him off. "Whatcha got?"

"For… inventory…. sir?" the other man asked like he was certain he must have misunderstood.

"Yep. What'd they steal?"

The manager looked like he was bordering on terrified as he answered. "Nothing, as far as we can tell." He stopped, and Tony was fairly sure that he was weighing if what he wanted to say would get him fired or not. He motioned for him to spit it out and the man swallowed hard. "Do you… know what we do at this office, sir?"

"Something having to do with, uh…." Tony drawled out, desperately wracking his brain for the answer. He'd seen it, right? He was sure that he'd seen it or that JARVIS had told him or something. The hangover was starting to recede, but that didn't mean he hadn't missed a few things on the way there.

"I'm with your marketing division. I just happened to be the manager that answered the call at six this morning and came in."

"Six? They said the break in was at three."

"Might have been, sir, but I was at home asleep." Poor Bill Wiley, who appeared to be too far out of his depths for comfort, ducked his head. "We're the catch-all. We've got a few marketing teams that aren't housed at HQ or in New York, the aviation department holds meetings and keep their offices here, and a couple of underwriters that live out this way come in here to avoid the commute. We don't house anything worth stealing."

"Hey, Tony?"

Tony turned, finding Steve further away than he expected. He was standing with a security guard that looked more than a little starstruck. Good. Maybe that meant he'd helpful.

"Tony, this is -"

"Juan Morales. Wow. I didn't think I'd actually ever get to meet you. You're Iron Man."

"Sometimes," Tony answered casually as he sauntered over. "Right now I just own a company who had a break in that I'd like to know more about."

"I wasn't on duty when it happened. I start the morning shift at nine."

Tony shot Cap a look, but the other man motioned for patience.

"I'm buddies with Tom in the main office. Guess it's the one you work out of?"

"I work out of my house most days, but you were saying?"

"Right… So, Tom said that some of the other security guards from around the city sent in reports about signs of guys casing the places. I mean, most of them were warehouses and storage facilities and stuff, but we've all got the same basic security protocols, right? It's weird."

"Do you think they were testing them?" Steve prompted.

"Yeah. I mean, response times are gonna be different in each location, but the alarms, how long they take to go off, if the building has any lockdown protocols…."

It was like a slap to the face. "Which they all do," Tony managed.

"But no one was here. There was a delay in the lockdown. No code or anything, but nobody trapped either."

"Like they found an override….. Can you get me a list? The other locations your buddy mentioned?"

"Oh yeah, sure, Mr Stark. Anything you need."

"Just that list. And, kid, if this leads to something, you're getting the bonus of a lifetime." He turned towards Steve as the young guard bolted off to get him what he needed.

"You think someone's after something."

"More sure of it every second. Listen, uh… this is my problem. If you wanna go do the whole touristy thing -"

"What? And let you have all the fun?"

Brown eyes met blue and there wasn't even a hint of sarcasm. Cap wanted to help. Okay then. This could get interesting.

                                               _____________

JARVIS has been running probability calculations all day, leaving Tony to tinker and Cap to wander around LA at his leisure. He'd left his things at the mansion, though, so Tony assumed he was coming back.

It left him with time on his hands and time was spent tinkering with suits and a variety of other projects in his downstairs workshop. It did wonders for his nerves and let him focus on something else when he didn't have enough data to start tracking down this unseen enemy.

"Tony?"

He jumped at the light touch on his shoulder, hissing a soft curse as the soldering tool touched his opposite hand and burned it. He turned, finding Pepper to his left and she looked startled by the extreme reaction. "I called your name a couple of times."

"In the zone, sorry," he mumbled and held his hand up to examine it. He'd had a lot worse.

Pepper reached for it, her hand gentle against his as if she didn't trust his assessment. "You should ice it."

The argument died on his lips and he offered her a smile instead. He stood, but instead of moving to the freezer to grab one of the waiting ice packs he kept there, he leaned in. She snorted a laugh, muffled by the kiss, and Tony wrapped his arms around her to pull her just a little closer. She gave in and he could feel her smile against him as she reached up, one hand trailing along the side of his face until her arm rested against his shoulder, elbow bent so that her fingers toyed with his dark hair. Okay. This was nice. It did wonders for his nerves too. One of the many, many reasons he never wanted to let her go. "Hey, maybe we could -" he started in the same moment Pepper said —

"Did I hear something about a break in last night?"

Right. That. He released her and started towards to freezer. "Yeah, the offices out in Burbank."

"In Burbank? There's nothing out there to steal."

"I think they were testing our security protocols." He grabbed the ice pack and winced as he pressed it to the burn.

"Does Barry know?"

Tony snorted, shooting her a withering look. "My money's on no. Remind me why we pay him?"

"Because he's the head of security, Tony."

"He's terrible at his job."

Pepper leaned against one of his work tables and crossed her arms. "And who would you replace him with? You've hated every name I've given you in the last five years."

"We didn't know any of those people."

"Tony," she said in that tone that said she thought he was bordering on the absurd, "we don't know most new hires. That's what references and due diligence is for."

"Happy."

She blinked at him. "Hogan?"

"Yeah. He's been running my personal security for years-"

"Babysitting you, you mean?"

"- and yours for the last two. He knows every last security protocol we have and I guarantee he has ideas. We know him, there's no question we can trust him. How have we not already done it? Let's do it."

"Promote Happy to head of security?"

"Yeah."

She was still looking at him like he'd lost it. After a long moment she loosed a breath, letting her arms drop. "I'll make you a deal. You do what you're going to do anyway and figure out if this was more than just a one-off break in and if - if, Tony - SI's security has been compromised we'll revisit the topic when I get back from London."

"Deal. Wait. London?"

She crossed the space between and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "It's been on the books for two weeks."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. I'll be back on Saturday. Think you can manage?"

Tony feigned a hurt look. "No faith in me, Miss Potts?"

The look didn't phase her and her voice was painfully sweet as she spoke. "I just know you, Mr Stark. I left a reminder with JARVIS about the R&D meeting tomorrow. Please don't miss it?"

"Promise."

"Thank you. And try not to get shot at or blown up while your looking into your thief?"

He reached out for her hand and pulled her close again. "Do my best," he murmured, and she was close enough he could feel her breath on his skin. He didn't want her to go. Selfish, he knew, but it didn't change the feeling.

"The calculations are complete, sir," JARVIS' voice rang out, causing them both to jump, instantly pulled from the moment.

Pepper cleared her throat. "I need to head to the airport. Let me know how it goes?"

"Will do. Love you."

He loved that smile of hers. "Love you too."

Tony waited until she was out of the lab and starting back up the stairs. "This better be good, J."

"I wouldn't have interrupted if it weren't important, sir," his AI responded. "I've run the calculations that you requested, and have come up with two likely targets and the top five most likely times that the breach will be attempted."

"Put it up on the screen," Tony instructed and watched the data flicker into his vision. "Pretty sure you can take the warehouse on the right off, JARVIS."

"I was afraid you might say so, sir. Shall I contact the authorities?"

"No. Let security onsite know there's an issue, but I'll deal with it."

"Sir, if I may -"

"You may not."

"I only wished to inform you that Captain Rogers is back. In case you would like to enlist his aid." The second half of the announcement was spoken so quickly that Tony had to wonder if JARVIS was trying to get it out before the mutecommand was given. He should probably be more nervous that he was that his AI had developed quite that much obstinance when it came to his warnings being heard at the very least, even if he really still couldn't do anything about making Tony follow them.

"Thanks, buddy," Tony said instead, letting it slide. He couldn't fault JARVIS for trying to look out for him.

                                              _____________

Agreeing to help Tony Stark was turning out to feel like he'd been caught in a riptide. There was no real control. All he could do was let himself be dragged along until he surfaced at the other end.

Steve had barely walked into the house when Tony had come flying up from his lab and told him that if he still wanted to help, he better hurry up. He barely stopped long enough to add that he knew where his mysterious burglars were going to strike next and that he wanted to get out there to go over everything with his security team onsite. If Steve wanted any more details than that, he could get them on the way.

Tony talked almost as fast as he drove, rattling off so much information that Steve had to listen fast to catch the important pieces. "Wait, Wait. Hold on a second. What exactly are you doing with alien tech?"

The other man was halfway through a new sentence when he seemed to hear the question. "Huh? Oh. I created a new department at Stark Industries after the Battle of New York to work with the government to help with the cleanup."

"You? Working with the government?" Steve asked, shooting the other man an amused look. He'd seen clips of what happened a couple years before when he'd been called to Capitol Hill to discuss the Iron Man suits. His mockery of the Senate wasn't the top video when Steve had searched his name, but it was close. Funny thing, he's found some old reels put on the internet of Howard in a similar position after the war. He'd responded flippantly, hoeing no rea respect for the elected officials that had questioned him. Like father, like son.

"It does happen every once and awhile."

"I'm still not sure why we didn't contact the police. This seems like the type of thing they should handle."

"All the cops will do is scare them off and we'll lose them," Tony grumbled as he took a particularly sharp turn too fast for comfort. He glanced over, and Steve couldn't shake the feeling that he was sizing up his reaction to tailor his own. "I need more data. Let's get there, get the lay of the land, and then maybe we'll loop LAPD in."

"Backup couldn't hurt," Steve pressed. "In case things move quicker than you're expecting."

"I don't need that kind of backup. The LAPD are great for what they do, but I became Iron Man to make sure that no one could use my stuff to hurt people. This falls firmly in that category."

"And they're okay with that?"

"Oh no, they hate it. Just can't really stop me," Tony chuckled and turned a corner. A warehouse came into view, large and gated with a guard station at the edge. The guard did not look happy as they pulled up next to it.

"Mr Stark," the guard greeted, his tone matching his worried expression. "I was just about to put a call in, sir. Communication with the warehouse went down about two minutes ago. I can't get through to anybody inside. I know you said -"

"Yep," Tony cut him off and killed the car engine.

Steve watched him step outside and followed half a moment later, his gaze trained on the warehouse. It was quiet, which might be expected after the close of the business day if it weren't for the fact that Tony had sent a warning ahead. For that, it was suspiciously quiet.

It didn't last. There was a loud crash that drew their attention and a figure stumbled out the door and fell hard against the ground.

"Shit," Tony cursed. "They're already inside."

"Call the LAPD," Steve instructed the guard before Tony could counter him. It wasn't until no argument came that he saw him toying with what looked like a bracelet of some kind. "What are you-?"

Tony nodded at the car. "Check the trunk."

Steve shot him a questioning look, but circled around to where it had popped open. Inside he saw his shield. The same one Tony had asked to take a look at while he'd been out earlier that day. "Just coming to check things out, huh?"

There was a loud roar that he'd heard before and one of Tony's suits came into view from seemingly nowhere. It barreled down and opened up just long enough for him to step in before it snapped shut around him. "Always come prepared, right?" he asked through the suit and Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"The police are on their way," the guard offered.

"Fine. We'll have it wrapped before they get within a mile." Steve could feel that dark gaze move to him even through the helmet. "You with me, Cap, or do you wanna wait for your buddies?"

Steve pushes a frustrated breath out his nose as he grabbed his shield.

                                              _____________

TBC

Notes: I was just writing along and suddenly Tony's pitching Happy for the head of security position. Don't know what to tell you. Apparently Barry sucks at his job. He's a lousy Forehead of Security :P

Next Time: Tony and Steve race against the clock to rescue the hostages and catch the thieves.

[flauntpage]

Center of Attention: Alex Honnold, El Capitan, and the Media Machine

It didn't take long for news of rock climber Alex Honnold's ascent of El Capitan to burn through the internet.

On June 3, the 31-year-old Sacramento native became the first person to free solo, or climb without ropes, Yosemite National Park's famous 3,000-foot-tall cliff face—a once-in-a-millennium achievement in the same vein as Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak or Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point basketball game.

Within hours of its completion, "Exclusive: Climber Completes the Most Dangerous Rope-Free Ascent Ever" was posted on the National Geographic website, written by veteran climber and fellow adventurer Mark Synnott. In the days that followed, Honnold achieved the kind of fame that only massive clickbait can muster, as news sites blared (and shared) headlines like "Vomit-inducing clip shows man climb sheer rock face with NO ropes – can you bear to watch?" (Daily Star, UK) and "Alex Honnold's free solo climb of El Capitan was dangerous, perhaps insane, and the athletic feat of the century" (FOX Sports).

Indeed, Honnold himself is amazed by his own good fortune. "I'm totally delighted," he told VICE Sports. "In some ways it hasn't really sunk in. It's kind of hard to believe it's done." When asked if there was ever even a sliver of doubt in the epic three hours and fifty-seven minutes that he spent on the wall, he's honest and forthright: "It went perfectly; very much a best-case scenario."

By week's end, the climbing press (yes, there is such a thing) had taken notice of Honnold's mainstream media coverage. Alpinist Magazine, the leading authority on all things climbing, gushed, "The world gasps in the aftermath of Alex Honnold's free solo of El Capitan's Freerider." In an e-mail to VICE Sports, Alpinist editor Katie Ives writes, "I think even many experienced, longtime climbers see Alex Honnold's accomplishments as something that's almost beyond the edge of comprehension."

Honnold after completing his El Capitan ascent. Photo by Jimmy Chin, National Geographic

What lies beneath the surface of Honnold's achievement is a media machine that unites the spectacular scenery of Yosemite with an exceptional athlete who is willingly part of a narrative that is just getting started. Indeed, three days after Honnold's ascent, National Geographic sent out a press release announcing that it would be the subject of a big-budget documentary, tentatively called Solo, to be released in time for the Sundance Film Festival in January 2018. Tim Pastore, National Geographic spokeperson, said, "He is a true explorer in every sense of the word, one who fully embodies the pioneering spirit we have championed at National Geographic for more than 129 years."

In that time, the National Geographic Society has sponsored more than 12,500 expeditions and scientific projects around the world, funding renowned explorers such polar explorer Robert Peary, diver Jacques Cousteau, and dogsledder Will Steger. So it's easy to understand why National Geographic, with 18 million followers on Twitter and close to a hundred million Facebook friends worldwide, would be the perfect outlet to break this story. Under the ownership of Rupert Murdoch and 21st Century Fox, National Geographic Films has become a media giant in the past decade, underwriting not just award-winning nature documentaries but producing docudramas such as Genius, about the work of Albert Einstein.

"Genius" might be an apt descriptor for Honnold, whose progression as the world's most famous solo climber started in 2008 with an ascent of Moonlight Buttress in Zion National Park. "There's a famous story of how when Honnold first did the free solo of Moonlight Buttress in Zion National Park, Utah on April 1, 2008 that people thought the reports were an April Fool's joke," Ives says. "The idea of someone climbing a route that difficult without a rope was so hard to conceive."

Yosemite, with its golden California sunshine and laid-back, feel-good vibe, is where every rock climber worth his chalk bag wants to make his mark. Writing in Alpinist magazine, Alex Lowther described Honnold's paralyzing fear during a bold solo ascent of Half Dome later that year. "He's trying to get Doubt back into its lair, to recompose himself. A bolt within reach is tempting, but he resists and commits. He commits and succeeds." In fact, Honnold's Half Dome climb had so many sketchy moments that for a time, he swore off free soloing. Lowther noted that Honnold had given it a "sad face" in his annotated climbing journal.

"I think in retrospect I should have given it another couple of days," Honnold told Lowther. A lesson had been learned: more preparation was needed for free soloing major climbs.

At the time, Honnold's shy, hermetic, off-the-stone persona (he lived in a bland 2002 Econoline van) contrasted greatly with that of Dean Potter, another solo Yosemite climber who thrived on risk and reward. Potter pushed defying gravity into the realm of performance art, partaking in both high-lining (tightrope walking between two massive cliffs above a yawning chasm) and wingsuit flying by jumping from cliffs, bridges, and off mountains. Alas, Potter died in a BASE-jumping accident in Yosemite in 2015.

"I didn't really know Dean and wouldn't want to speak for him," Honnold says, "but he saw all of these activities as a personal art form and being at one with nature." Though Honnold took parachuting lessons (Potter felt that a fall on a big wall could be mitigated by wearing a parachute), he had zero interest in activities that distracted him from rock climbing.

A high-liner above Yosemite Valley. Photo by Flickr user Jeff P/CC BY 2.0

Nevertheless, Honnold's free-soloing exploits were attracting media attention (including from, VICE). Sender Films, makers of climbing action porn, got ahold of Honnold and re-created both the Moonlight Buttress and Half Dome climbs for Alone on the Wall, a 23-minute documentary that was later condensed into a four-minute clip that would be sold to National Geographic. While Honnold's climbing shines, Honnold the human is presented as almost some kind of idiot savant, a "bumbling, dorky, awkward kind of goofball," according to North Face professional climber Cedar Wright. In 2013, CBS Sixty Minutes introduced Honnold to millions of viewers who, if they didn't think mountain climbers were insane before, certainly did now.

"You hear some climbers voicing concerns about the overwhelming mediatization of the event—the way the free solo was filmed almost as a spectacle produced for mass consumption—and how that content has been rolled out in what appears to be a very carefully planned and controlled way," Ives says. "The notion of publicity and corporate profit has long been a topic of debate in the climbing world: How does it affect the experience? Does it contribute to a heightened willingness to take risks? Does it turn a climb into a PR event? A climber into a product? And since climbers tend to associate free soloing with ideals of 'purity,' that debate can become intensified in such cases."

Honnold begs to differ, noting that climbers like John Bachar and Peter Croft had received their share of media attention for ropeless ascents. "Those guys were soloing for the camera at the time. The scale is a bit different now in terms of filming, but it's a pretty natural step for what I'm doing."

A view of Yosemite Valley. El Capitan is on the left. Photo by Flicker user tuliodaza/CC BY-ND 2.0

After free soloing the massive Half Dome, Honnold says, "El Capitan was always going to be the next logical step." The easiest route—perhaps "least outrageous" is a better term—is known as Freerider, which Honnold first climbed with a partner back in 2004.

"Jimmy Chin (a fellow North Face athlete) approached me about wanting to do a documentary, and I was like, OK, well, if we're going to do a documentary then it should be about El Cap," Honnold says. Chin and his wife, Chai Vasarhelyi, had produced Meru, a feature-length documentary about climbing an extremely remote Himalayan peak in 2011. Meru won awards at numerous climbing festivals around the world and had successfully crossed over into mainstream festivals like Sundance in Park City, where it won an Audience Award for Best American Documentary.

In fact, Honnold and his National Geographic film crew sought to make sure the climb was not tipped off to members of the media or the public beforehand. Tens of thousands of visitors have flocked to Yosemite to witness rock climbers undertaking bold, daring climbs in the past and creating a media circus was the last thing anyone wanted; the timing of the climb and its messaging would be ruthlessly controlled by the National Geographic team. Post-climb, a photographer working with NG who had not read his non-disclosure agreement had to remove his photos from a popular climbing forum. No one connected with National Geographic would comment about Honnold's climb for VICE Sports.

Far from getting in Honnold's way, the film crew enhanced his chances for success. "They worked with my sponsors and others to keep public appearances and obligations to a minimum while I was training," a period that lasted six months. "The film crew are all top-notch climbers as well, so we were able to share information about how we could approach the climb and solve some of the problems that I might encounter on the route."

It's worth noting that Honnold had climbed the 3,000-vertical-foot Freerider from start to finish a dozen times previous to his June 3rd attempt. Pre-climb preparations also included rappelling and rehearsing sections while securely roped up, a common practice for climbers attempting multi-pitch ascents. He even used climbing chalk to outline particularly tricky foot placements.

On game day, Honnold blasted up Freerider from the base to the summit in just under four hours without a second of wasted effort. The doubts that had momentarily plagued him years before on Half Dome would not show themselves on this day. Honnold says, "If anything, I came away thinking that maybe I'd over-prepared for the climb."

When Honnold's close friend and world-class climber Tommy Caldwell took to social media to call the climb a "moon landing," it was an accurate analogy. Like the early astronauts, Honnold was on a dangerous mission, flying the ship and in control of his destiny. A single mistake would send Honnold whistling through space, untethered, until he hit terra firma. The camerapersons filming en route watched in amazement as Honnold ticked off pitch after pitch, charging ever upward.

"I think I'm my 'best climber' right now," Honnold says. "Physiologically I'm a bit past my prime but I have been smarter about nutrition and training. I'm not sure if I'm climbing any harder but I certainly am feeling more solid. Five years ago, just the thought of soloing El Cap was scary, and then it all went super-smoothly so there's been some evolution, there."

So what's the next step? Honnold has hinted in the past that while he'll never quit climbing, he might take a pass on free soloing. He tells VICE that "right now, I don't know if I want to take any more steps after this one."

If and when Honnold does embark on his next adventure, he knows that there will never be another El Cap. "I guess you could say the next step might be to free solo a harder route on El Cap," he says, "or El Cap, Half Dome, and Mount Watkins in a day (a feat that Honnold achieved with a partner, Tommy Caldwell, in 2012).

"It's still just not as big of a jump as climbing El Cap itself."

Center of Attention: Alex Honnold, El Capitan, and the Media Machine published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv