#good to have such a lighthearted chapter following the last one lol

[anon-apple]

Hot Soup and Soft Bread 7

Table of Contents and Synopsis <- Chapter 6 Read on WordPress

Chapter 7: Instant Noodles with an Egg I

This was the last day Zhong Qiuyan had to work the night shift. It was 6pm, not yet time for his shift, and Qiuyan had been sitting in the hair salon where Da Yu worked. After Da Yu finished washing someone's hair, he came to sit by his side and asked, “What’s your problem? You’re not here to help out the shop, but instead to just sit here?”

Qiuyan propped up his arms on his knees and said, “My thoughts keep running wild when I’m by myself.” 

Da Yu replied: “What kind of thoughts is your brain capable of having?”

Qiuyan gave him the same old reply: “You won’t understand.” Da Yu almost kicked him out of the salon.

When it was almost dinner time, Liu Xiaoying called Qiuyan to tell him that Zhou Cunqu hadn’t eaten anything the whole day. Xiaoying interrogated Qiuyan: “I saw you coming out of his room this morning.”

Qiuyan yelled with guilt: “I didn’t do anything!”

Xiaoying, anxious, yelled back: “Then what’s wrong with Cunqu? How come he’s all listless and refusing to eat again?”

Qiuyan got into his car and rushed to Qin Qin Homeland. When he opened Cunqu’s door, he was sitting against the bed and reading a book like usual. Qiuyan scratched his head and asked, “Ge, are you hungry? Liu Xiaoying said you haven’t eaten anything today.”

Cunqu looked up at him and shook his head, replying, “I don’t have much appetite.”

Qiuyan sat down at the foot of the bed and nervously wrung his hands. He stuttered: “I, last night, I, I don’t know what came over me. Maybe, I just saw you and…how do I say this.” 

Cunqu shut his book and said, “You are thinking too much. It’s just that when I thought about Jiang Liangyu, thought about that time of my life, it's as if the dread has returned. And I can’t eat because of it.”

Immediately after telling Qiuyan, he didn’t feel like it was a big deal. But when the memories gained detail and clarity, a wave of powerlessness overwhelmed him again. He felt like he couldn’t stand up. He felt like he couldn’t do anything. 

Qiuyan wanted to persuade Cunqu to eat something, but his own stomach rumbled in hunger. He said: “I want to eat instant noodles, you want some?”

Cunqu replied, “I don’t.”

After fifteen minutes, Qiuyan forcibly dragged Cunqu out to the dining table. Two bowls of fragrant, steaming noodles were placed on the table. Xiaoying, wearing presbyopic glasses, sat at the writing desk in the living room practicing her calligraphy. She grumbled, “What nutritional value do instant noodles have.”

Qiuyan retorted, “Who cares about nutrition when eating instant noodles?” He turned his head and smiled at Cunqu, saying: “There is only one egg left in Liu Xiaoying's stock. I reluctantly yield this one fried egg to you. All you have to do is say ‘thank you.’”

Cunqu’s hands were lowered; he still felt like he had no appetite. But Qiuyan sat next to him and unhesitantly started to slurp his noodles. After he ate two mouthfuls he suddenly stood up and took out a plate of soy sauce braised beef from the fridge. “Now there’s nutrition,” he said.

Cunqu watched him eat for a while, then he moved his chopsticks to eat at last.

Xiaoying sat by the writing desk and looked at her small dining table. Qiuyan ate for a bit, then he placed two pieces of braised beef on top of Cunqu’s noodles. He instructed, “You have to immerse the fried egg into the soup, that way it can soak up all the flavor.”  

Cunqu felt a bit exasperated, but he did as he said. The two of them ate their noodles with lowered heads. Xiaoying turned her gaze away towards the window. After a while, she covered her eyes. 

--

Nowadays, Qiuyan would wait in front of the residential community’s main entrance, and Cunqu would slowly be able to make his way over by himself. Qiuyan asked him if he wanted to walk down Breadfruit Tree Street. Cunqu nodded in agreement.

The Qin Qin Homeland residential community was located in the older part of the city. The newer areas have already been filled with multi-functional complexes, but the old city still looked as it always did. Recently, because of some international competition hosted nearby, the parts facing the streets have been undergoing renovations. The 24-hour convenience store at the crosswalk was still open. Every day past midnight, the employee would see two men aimlessly meandering down the street. They would reach the crosswalk and turn back around. He just thought them bizarre. Qiuyan quite enjoyed this part of his day. It was like there were only the two of them and this singular convenience store in the whole world. Cunqu would intermittently say something. Sometimes he would tell Qiuyan about the book he was reading. He told him that in the language of the Aché people, the words for “to be born” and “to descend” were both ‘waa.’ Therefore a child’s birth was thought of as a landing. As though the child had arduously flown and descended here from a distant place. 

Cunqu always talked about things like this with his eyes lowered and his tone indifferent. After walking back and forth twice, he would pant and say he was tired. And their walk would end there for the day. Qiuyan accompanied Cunqu to the front door of the fifth floor of Building No.3. When Cunqu took out his keys, Qiuyan discovered that for some reason, he started to experience a feeling akin to disappointment. This type of feeling that was like, oh, our walk today ended already. 

Qiuyan leaned against the corner wall of the staircase, his hands stuffed into his pants pockets, and called out: “Ge.”

Cunqu turned around. But Qiuyan didn’t have anything to say. So he shifted this way and that going “mmh” and  “uhhh” until he finally said, “Goodnight.” 

Cunqu smiled at him.

That night, Qiuyan drove home and sat in his car downstairs for who knows how long. Cunqu sent him a text: Did you arrive home yet? Qiuyan was so excited that he ran up to his apartment taking 3 stairs at a time. He then replied: I’ve arrived.

After he sent the message, he flopped on the couch and waited for Cunqu’s reply. But after a long time, he still hadn’t sent anything. Qiuyan flipped himself around and lay on his back turning his phone screen off and then back on again. His messages still showed only that one Did you arrive home yet? Qiuyan sat upright and shouted: “I’ve arrived, damn, I’ve arrived. Then what?” 

The next day as he drove the first bus for his shift, Qiuyan was still mulling over this. How come Cunqu didn’t reply to his text? He must ask him today.

But when night came all Cunqu said in response was: “Didn’t you reply I’ve arrived? That’s all I wanted to ask.”

Qiuyan felt like he just punched a wad of cotton. He leaned against Cunqu and said: “Can’t you send me a few more messages? Or call me of your own accord just once?”

Cunqu was practically pressed against the fence surrounding the residential community by him. He thought this whole ordeal was funny. “You’re acting like a fussy little lover.”

Qiuyan went silent. Cunqu slapped a few times at the mosquitos landing on his arm. When he lifted his head, he saw Qiuyan was still deeply pondering something. He didn’t say much as they walked up the stairs. Cunqu fished out his keys and opened the door.

That day right when Qiuyan drove out of Breadfruit Street, he received a call from Cunqu. He picked up and asked: “What’s wrong? Do you feel unwell?”

Cunqu laughed and said: “I was worried you would feel unwell, so I called you. Do you feel better now?”

Qiuyan heard Cunqu’s voice and his face flushed in excitement. He rolled down his car window and stubbornly said, “I feel alright.”

Cunqu said “Oh” in response, then asked, “Then what should we do?”

Qiuyan didn’t reply. But he refused to hang up, and he also refused to let Cunqu hang up. He just held his phone like that as he walked upstairs to his place. He lay down on his bed and chattered about trivial things with Cunqu. At some point, both of them stopped talking. There was only the sound of Cunqu flipping pages coming through the phone.

Cunqu asked: “Are you asleep?”

“Not yet.”

So they both stayed on the call. Until Cunqu finally said: “My phone’s heating up. I’ll hang up first. Is that ok?”

Qiuyan buried his head into his pillow and shamelessly replied in a muffled voice: “Not ok.”

From the other end of the call, Cunqu started laughing.

-> Chapter 8

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Shadows Entwined: part 13 - Final

BatmanVsTmnt!Leonardo x sidekick!reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 / Bonus (18+)

A/N: It is happening! The series I started out my blog with is finally coming to an end! Or kinda, as I already have an 18+ bonus chapter in the makings for you😂💙

Warnings: A kiss that never got to be as heated as you and Leo wanted it to lol.

The reader and the turtles are 19.

That evening, after you had started packing the first half of your stuff into your suitcase, Batman surprised you all by ordering pizza from Luigi’s. That made Michelangelo scream out in happiness, almost tackling Alfred when he bought in the large stack of pizza boxes.

All of you sat happily in the Bat Cave, eating pizza to your hearts delight. Even Batman joined in, handing Robin a slice before biting into one himself.

The chatting was lighthearted. Donatello and Batgirl sat quietly at the corner of the table, having their own small conversation, with Batgirl’s hand gracing Donnie’s arm every once in a while. Raphael, Mikey and Robin started up a conversation about skateboard tricks, pulling Alfred in to hear his opinion, the butler politely playing alone.

You and Leonardo might have tried to have your own moment at the other end of the table, had your father not started engaging Leo in conversation, discussing your training. You found your cheeks growing hot in embarrassment, when Batman told Leo what he had noticed you could and couldn’t do in battle, fighting your need to remind your father of the night you met the turtles. Leo however, found it slightly amusing, watching your face growing red just underneath your mask, before asking your father about certain details.

After finishing up your pizza, you went back up to your room to pack the rest of your stuff, while the turtles got the van ready, under the guidance of Donnie, who stood to the side with his broken arm making it hard for him to help in any other way.

Once in your room, the first thing you decided to pack down was the hero costume you were wearing, before changing into something more casual. And as you were packing your bat-like uniform into the almost filled suitcase, you heard a soft knock against the doorframe of your open door.

You looked up to find Leo leaning against your doorframe, smiling at you with a soft friendly smile, his blue eyes shining your way.

“You remembered to knock this time”, you smiled, walking over to your closet in order to get your last few pieces of clothes out.

“Yeah, I feared that you wouldn’t hold back on me if I came sneaking again”, he said, taking a few steps into your room, watching as you moved around your room.

You shook your head with a smile, your stomach doing back flips when he stood just a few steps from you. “What are you doing here?”, you asked kindly. “Weren’t you helping with the van?”

“I was, but Mikey and Raph got a pretty good hold of it, so I thought I would come up and check on you”, he answered, his eyes lingering on your face for a moment, feeling warmth spread throughout his body. He did really like your face without your mask. “Do you need help with anything?”, he asked, following you as you walked to your desk where your suitcase was laying open.

“Yeah”, you chuckled, holding up a few of your shirts for him. “You can fold these”.

“With pleasure”, he smiled, taking a hold of the fabrics, his eyes lingering on you as you turned back to your suitcase.

Leo placed your shirts on your bed, before folding one in his hands, before moving on to the next. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, but Leo could not stop the thoughts that crept up in his head. A small unease that would only go away when he decided to ask you about it.

“Are you really okay with staying with us?”, Leo asked, folding the second shirt you had given him. “I mean, New York is not exactly close to Gotham, and it is a little different”.

“I’m more than okay with it. It sounds like great fun, and I’m excited to learn”, you smiled, placing your pants in your suitcase before turning your full body towards him. “Are you not?”

“I am”, Leo smiled, taking a step closer to you, letting your shirt drop from his hand and into your suitcase behind your back with a small throw. “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel forced”.

“I don’t”, you said, leaning your back onto your desk, almost inviting Leo to come closer to you. And he did, taking a slow step closer to you, his eyes locked into yours, a shy smile on his lips. His heart singing in louder and louder happiness, the closer he got to you. “Like I said, I’m really excited to learn, especially from you”.

Leo looked down with a small chuckle, his shoulders shaking slightly. “Even after all your father told me?”

You pursed your lips, your stomach tingling at Leo’s smile. “You know he exaggerates a little in that area”.

“I know”, Leo said, his voice getting a little lower. “But there are areas where I would have to agree with him”. Leo found great amusement in your playful shocked expression.

“You’re lying”, you giggled, playfully slapping his arm, making his heart skip a beat when you hand on his arm, gliding up to his bicep. You sucked in a breath in anticipation when you saw him lick his lower lip, his face getting closer and closer to yours, reminding you of the night you and Leo almost had your first kiss.

“I would never lie to you, (Y/N)”, he whispered, two of his fingers finding and holding your chin in place, tilting your head up toward his. Your eyes locked together, your thoughts forgetting everything except the pretty blues in front of you, and the feeling of his breath against your face, before your lips finally met each other in a warm sweet kiss.

It was a soft kiss, with your lips moving together in small calm movements. The soft thumb and finger under your chin, turned into two soft fingers stroking your cheek. You rested your arms on his shoulders, letting them wrap around his neck in a lazy yet delighted move. Leo hummed at that, stepping so close to you that he was now standing between your legs, your thighs lightly touching his. He placed a soft hand on your hip, making you lean your head a little back as he pulled you closer with that small move.

You wanted to deepen the kiss, turning your head to the side and maybe open your mouth, even lick his lip in a request to let you in. Leo must have read your thoughts, turning his head in order to deepen the kiss just as you did, both of you getting ready to open your mouths to let your tongues meet.

“Eh-hum”.

You and Leo jumped from each other, staring towards your doorway, suddenly remembering that your door still stood open. You felt your world crash in embarrassment when you saw your father, still standing with his arms crossed and a knowing smile on his face, having changed from his Batman costume into his casual clothing of Bruce Wayne.

“I think Leo’s brothers are getting impatient”, he chuckled. “They seem very ready to go”.

“We’re coming!”, you said, hurrying off the desk in order to throw your last things in the suitcase, before quickly zipping it shut. Leo threw Bruce a weary look, fearing that he might have awakened some form of anger. But instead he was met with a friendly smile and a small nod. Your father could never be mad at a man that was willing to protect his daughter.

You hurried into the Bat Cave, where you found the others waiting for you and Leo. They looked up when Alfred rushed to take your suitcase, not letting you carry it down the stairs yourself.

“There you are!”, Raph yelled, throwing his arms into the air. “Don’t tell me we had to wait this long just so you two could make out!”

“No, they just had a few problems during packing”, Bruce said, giving you and Leo a small wink.

Alfred loaded your suitcase onto the van, while you had your goodbyes with your family, their masks off so they could give you a proper smile.

“See you around, (Y/N)”, Barbara said, pulling you in for a warm hug, resting her chin onto your shoulder. “You better text me when you get there”.

“I will”, you smiled, letting go of your sister like friend, only for your little brother to jump at you, wrapping his arms tightly around you with a scream that almost had you falling over. Your surprise was big, as you had never seen or heard your brother like this before.

“I take back all the mean things I’ve said to you!”, Damian yelled out, burying his face against. “I’ll be missing you, (Y/N)!”

“I’ll not be gone for that long”, you laughed, ruffling his hair as you pulled him close. “And I will visit”.

“Promise?”, he asked, looking up at you with tearfilled eyes.

“Promise”, you answered, holding him close for a moment, before he finally let you go, giving space for your father.

Bruce did not say a word. Instead he pulled you in for a big warm hug, unwilling to let you go a moment too early. You hugged back, savoring the moment, not sure when you would get to hug your father like this again.

“Good luck”, Bruce said before finally letting you go from the hug, taking a look at your face with a proud smile.

“Thanks, dad”, you smiled back.

You let go of the hug, turning towards the turtles that all stood waiting outside the van, waiting for you to finish your goodbyes, with Alfred being a true butler, holding the door open for them.

Donnie hugged Barbara goodbye, before following Raph and Mikey into the van, Leo waiting for you to walk in before him. But as you passed Alfred, you could not help yourself, giving the butler a quick stiff hug.

“See you around, Alfred”, you said, his body unmoving as he wasn’t ready for it. However he quickly softened up, giving you a quick hug with a smile.

“See you around, Miss (Y/N)”, he smiled, before letting you follow the turtle into the van, with Leo closing the door behind you.

Leo took the front seat, smiling as you took the passenger seat next to him, while the others found places to sit in the back of the van. You watched in anticipation as Leo turned on the motor, the van humming. You looked out the front window, finding your Bat family waving your way with smiles on their faces. All except Damion, who now stood by Bruce's side, hugging his father with one arm, fighting the tease as he waved. You waved back with a smile, before Leo started driving the van out of the Bat Cave and through Gotham City.

You watched in excitement as the building passed by the window, hearing the others talk about how happy they were to finally leave dark and rainy Gotham City. Leo’s eyes moved from the road to you and back again, a small smile spreading onto his face, seeing your eyes light up the closer and closer you got to the city border.

It didn’t take long before you were out of Gotham, the rain almost disappearing as soon as you crossed the border, making the stars in the sky clear.

You looked at Leo with a big smile, your eyes locking during the short moment he looked your way. You couldn’t wait to see New York City with your own eyes, and you couldn’t wait to start your training with Leo and his brothers. It would be like starting a new life. A new life with a pair of pretty blue eyes adoring you every step of the way.

[hopeswriting]

Top KHR fanfics

hi nonny, thank you for the ask!

okay so i obviously haven't read all the khr fics out there, so this will be by no means an exhaustive list. but from the ones i've read? *crack knuckles* let's go through my bookmarks in no particular order!

also adding this after i finished answering the ask, but this just ended up being a list of arco fics and/or tsuna fics (+ the 10th gen and/or reborn). but like. are we surprised zfsdfdsf.

on ao3:

flip a coin [head for villain, tail for hero] by petroltogo

Superhero/Supervillain AU: All Sawada Tsunayoshi wants to do is help people. Considering his occupation as a Vongola Inc. superhero, you'd think that wouldn't be much of a problem. You'd be wrong. [Of course 'people' isn't supposed to include wanted supervillains. But it's hardly Tsuna's fault that the training manual doesn't specify that, is it.] Along the way, he learns to help himself.

this series is just so, so good! all the works in it are simply *chef's kiss*. the worldbuilding is amazing, the characters so in character and complex and with so many layers and depth to them. also it's obviously planned down to the last detail, so it's incredibly fun to follow along and try to piece the puzzle along with the various characters' pov.

The Boy in the Ice by eloquentelegance

A mysterious pillar of ice drops out of the sky and fuses with the grounds of Yuuei. It's not the strangest thing to happen, especially for this school. But the boy, frozen within, is strange - yes, very strange indeed.

haven't read chapter 2 yet, but i have no doubt it won't disappoint whenever i'll be able to get to it. as for chapter 1? a fucking masterpiece. it's a khr x bnha crossover, and i don't usually read crossover, but boy, am i glad this is one of the few i gave a chance to haha.

Yugen by Little_Miss_Bunny

In one world, Tsuna sacrificed his life to save the Arcobaleno. As soon as he drew his last breath, he opened his eyes again to see beaten students cowering in front of him and a bloody hammer in his hand.

it's been a while since i've reread this one, but i still have the reaction of "oh, this one was so, so good!!" whenever i come across it lol, so yeah. what i do remember is i absolutely love the depiction of hibari in this one as well as his dynamic with tsuna. also little miss bunny is one of my favorite khr writers, they're so good at crafting the different aus they come up with and making them feel real while still keeping the characters in character, i love it.

Target Acquired: Wicked Jester by poorasdirt

Colonnello has always been a military man. He understood what led to him being cursed. He understood why the others had been cursed. Or, well, why most of the others had been cursed. Skull's motivations had always been a mystery to him. Now that the curse had been lifted, Colonnello could finally sit back and try to puzzle it out. If only it were that easy. Or Colonnello's instincts were telling him something wasn't right and curiosity only kills cats.

i know for a fact i've already recc this one before, and i'm doing it again because it's just that good. <3 it's another one heavy on worldbuilding, which is funny because usually worldbuilding isn't exactly my thing, but how can i say no to them when they're all so well written like this. anyway it's a skull-centric fic through nello's pov, so of course i was all for it zfsegfdsds.

Starstruck by Little_Miss_Bunny

All Tsuna wanted was his siblings to be happy. So, he didn't see a problem attending a fan signing for one of the hottest bands to date, even if he had no clue who they were. He did start seeing a problem when more idols started appearing in his life. It got even worse when they just wouldn't leave him alone.

i love this one so, soo much! this is my favorite work of theirs. it's currently at 153k words tho, so not too sure how to summarize it lol, but just trust me on this one! it's more on the lighthearted one compared to their other works, tho still touch on serious stuff and do it well, but i'd still consider it a comfort (and funny) fic.

Scorching Ember by Little_Miss_Bunny

When the revered Sky Priestess suddenly passes away, everyone mourns. However, the world is soon engulfed by darkness, giving rise to creatures that seemed to only exist in folktales. With the gods mysteriously absent, there is no one to keep everything from descending into ruins—until a hunter finds a curious object in a barren creek.

another one from little miss bunny that i love so much!! maybe or maybe not because nello is the first arco to appear, so there's certainly no shortage of nello & tsuna interactions. more seriously tho zrfsdfds, this is another one where the worldbuilding has obviously been given a lot of care, and the characters are written so well, tsuna first of all, and it's just super fun to read.

Forever Family, Forever Vongola by AnimationNut

They're a group of insane, energetic, destructive and hyper people. But they also love each other, whether some are willing to admit it or not. Family sticks together, through thick, thin, and crazy.

the ultimate platonic/familial khr fic! with how many chapters it already has (57 for 195k words), you're bound to find more than one you'll love. some are connected, most are not. some are lighthearted fluff, some more on the heavy, serious side of things. but all chapters are written so well, and at their cores it's all about how much these guys love each other.

The Hottest of Flames can Melt the Strongest of Chains by Luki (KelpieCodyne)

I'm not a liar, but I close my eyes a lot by Seito

another incredible series that is just so, soo good! it's about tsuna not wanting to become vongola decimo and doing what he can so it won't happen. no happy endings yet, but the series isn't marked complete yet either, so we'll see.

It started with bang. A bullet casing falling to the ground; the clatter echoing off the walls. It started with Tsuna putting a bullet through the head of his enemy, unflinchingly. Blood spattered, flying, rolling down Tsuna's cheek. Brown eyes burn with orange fire, yet so, so, so cold. In another world, Reborn would have smiled. In this world, Reborn flinched.

i haven't reread this one in a long while, so i honestly... don't quite remember how it goes zqdsfds, but i still remember it was an amazing read all the same!! i mean, the summary alone is so good? also this writer is one of the best in the fandom imo, so yeah.

ozymandias was a punkass bitch (but he had the right idea) by Seito

“You want Vongola? You can have it,” Tsuna says serenely.

loved this one too! badass tsuna is always a treat, and i always love to see it.

last to fade by Trilies

Mammon's last breath is of rain and gunpowder. Before they make their choice, they consider lives lost and the options they have. There's not a lot. Set during the Millefiore timeline.

a look at what mammon's last moment could have been like. super well-written.

Striking Once by istilllikekhr

A peek into the universe where Nana Sawada was given the Lightning Mare Ring.

this one has an unsual pairing (byakuran & nana), but you'll be missing out if you don't give it a chance because of it. i also didn't have a clue what to expect when i first clicked on it, but when i tell you it did not disappoint. and the ending? oughhh. please give this a chance!

Sunny Skies Ahead by Ourliazo

Reborn is not yet the world's greatest hitman, not quite a proper Sky, and definitely doesn't want these ridiculous Guardians that he keeps running into.

sky arco reborn who does not want to be the sky arco? it's just as chaotic and funny as you might think zqefdddsf. the interactions in this are absolute gold, and it's just such a fun ride to see all the bonding happen despite reborn's best efforts lmao. also ourliazo is another one of my favorite khr writers. the way they write the arco and tsuna (and every other khr characters tbh)? absolute peak. and then you add their humor, and i will simply never be tired of their writing.

Sincerely, Scattered Shards by You_Light_The_Sky

Tsuna’s the foolish type to give a bit of his heart to anyone he meets. No one ever wanted his ugly heart shards until he met his Guardians. No one ever treasured his heart shards until them either. Hints of All27 and R27.

heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once. i actually had forgotten i had this one in my bookmarks, as well as the fic as a whole tbh 😅, but it all instantly came back to me like a punch in the gut. there's so much love in this one guys. the kind that hurts and the kind that heals and the kind that makes it all worth it in the end.

Forgotten Memories of a Broken Soldier by Maintenant

The Arcobaleno arrive at their collective house after their yearly meeting turned mission. Skull had been left there to cook them a warm meal for their return, seeing as he is useless in a mission, but it is not Skull they find when they return. Rather, it is, but it is not. For this Skull has cold eyes and harsher threats, and he doesn't know the rest of the Arcobaleno. Perhaps more importantly, the Arcobaleno find, is that they don't know Skull.

i love this one for the ending and the build up to it. it's a wip, but the first chapter can be read as a one shot (imo) so it works well. it's a skull is harry potter fic, and like i already said i don't usually read crossover fics, but this is another one i'm glad i gave a chance to.

Never Will Forget by Squoxie

Tell the ones, the ones I loved I never will forget

a song fic about skull surviving the rest of the arco. the summary alone always pulls at my heartstrings whenever i read it.

Beginnings And Middles But No Ends In Sight by Ourliazo

A compilation of the various chaotic missions that the Arcobaleno take on pre-curse - as well as the many dumb things they throw themselves into even without being paid for it. [Fon tries to trap a cockroach with a tissue, but it runs up his sleeve. Reborn watches as Fon flips his shit, rips off his sleeve, and punches the cockroach to death. Reborn is still laughing by the time Fon comes back from disposing of the corpse and washing his hands. "Thank you," Fon says pointedly, rather upset by the entire experience. Reborn is crying.]

this is the daily life arc - arco version fic as i like to call it. an absolute fucking ride as you can imagine. love it to fucking bits.

don't look at the child underneath the floorboards by Kosaji

Happiness is based on a just discrimination of what is necessary, what is neither necessary nor destructive, and what is destructive. - The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas Ursula K. Le Guin In which truths are realized and a choice is made.

the one where tsuna is freed from vongola thanks to his guardians. love it a lot.

Those Last Few Memories by Ourliazo

In one future, the Arcobaleno band together and try to fight off the Anti Tri-ni-set radiation.

the way my heart squeezes whenever i think of this fic. so heartbreaking and so well written. and the ending? oughhh. you just have to read this one!

on ff.net:

Rage Vs Hope By: ariathal2410

The order was to kill anything that moved, the city was too far gone to hope for survivors. But if there was one thing Colonnello didn't sign up for, it was killing kids. (28 Weeks Later AU, eventually merges into a semi-au) eventual all27?

zombies au that is both nello and tsuna centric! alternate between both their povs too. there's other canonical characters as well as ocs, but they're written well and enjoyable to read about too.

How to Survive the Fae By: MikeLamp

As the trees around them collapse, Tsuna's eyes don't stray from the human trembling before him, "So tell me," he hisses, eyes glowing, "where is your King now?" She whimpers instead of answering. In a world where the fae haunt the overgrown forests and angels control the cities with an iron fist, Tsuna doesn't want to just survive anymore.

another fantasy au that still manages to keep the characters true to themselves and is super well written. it's arco27 (seems to be anyway), with skull and who is likely fon in the last chapter being the only arco who appeared so far. and the skull & tsuna interactions in this? *chef's kiss* i love them.

Just Another Tuesday By: ariathal2410

Tsuna doesn't know why all this supernatural shit started happening in his life, but he'd really like it to stop now please. Mild Arco27

this is one of my favorite khr comfort fics. funny and fluffy with just the right amount of protectiveness and possessiveness from the arco (as well as flirtiness tbh lol).

come get me By: MakeItVoid

Reborn waits a little impatiently for someone to come get him. He doesn't know what to do now. The fire is creeping closer. (Reborn doesn't want to die like this.)

this is imo one of the best written reborn i've ever read about. maybe even the best one? either way i just love so, so much the way he's written in this fic, i couldn't not have added it to this list.

Gokudera Hayato By: rynoa29

It hurts more than you think it would, but your face can't help but to beam with pride.

a look at gokudera and his dynamic with the key people around him throughout his life. a lovely and well written exploration of his character.

and that was the last fic of the list! by which i mean there's actually more haha, but these are the cream of the crop among my favorite khr fics.

[0rczy]

ORCZY'S FAN FICTION RECOMMENDATIONS

For following Fandoms: Varian and the 7 kingdoms, Lego monkie kid, JRWI riptide

Hi there! I tought I would share some of my favourite fanfictions I've read since April last year, as sort of a recap and also recommendations. These are all longer stories btw, ranging from 78K to  236K words. Hope you find something that piques your interest :D

If you have any other recommendations, PLEASE share them, I'd love to read more from these fandoms.

VAT7K

-Varian's Tangled Trials by IFoundYouJustineTime and TheArtistsMuse A complete Vat7k story adapting the original creators' plot points into an amazing, 24 chapters (episodes) long fic that reads like an actual cartoon. If you're new to Vat7k or Tangled The Series, or even if you haven't seen the latter (like me), you WILL enjoy this. If you like a fun adventure with a bunch of nerds as a found family, this is for you.

-What Summer Meant to You -If I Really Hated you (and I really, really do) both by Battybatzgirl First one's a battle of the bands/modern AU, second is an AU where the boys are rival engineers, both focusing on the ship Varigo. The writing style is what made me stay and read these to the end. Incredibly funny and entertaining to read, the way Varian and Hugo are characterised is just. So good. If you like a well written, lighthearted, romantic comedy, this is for you. (Both include some skippable adult scenes, but the story is much more about the romance)

-Making End's Meet by Meltthepoint As the author's name suggest, this is a melting point (Donella x Ulla) story, set in a modern setting. Donella enrolls Hugo into this new school, who then befriends Varian. Ulla and Donella meet again. This is about how two women make up and start anew after their lives went into directions they didn't want. The story is much more character focused, a really fun read. Very insightful about the women's characters. An exception, as I still haven't finished reading it. Definitely not the type of fic I can binge read, but I'm really enjoying it.

At the end of everything by Squirrelflight A Night in the woods AU (haven't played the game, you don't have to, to read it), and unfinished as of yet, but man. Worth checking out! Unlike the stories above, this one's definitely darker and has a really tense aura. Love it. The writing is so good it makes me so thrilled about what will happen next! I also really like, once again, the characterisation.

LMK

-You can stay here by KALL A pre canon story about how Pigsy and Tang adopt MK, how MK gets to be in a safe environment and starts figuring himself out. Great writing style, entertaining plot, what more could I ask for? (maybe an update lol) As of yet, unfinished, and hasn't been updated since late 2022. The author actually posted ( https://www.tumblr.com/its-kall-the-clown/735524530668371968/are-you-going-to-be-updating-any-fics-on-your-ao3 ) about wanting to rewrite the story sometime. Which is great! In case you're reading this, take as long as you want!

-A garden across our collarbone by PittedPeaches Spicynoodle soulmate AU where what you write, or in MK's case, draw on your skin, appears on the soulmate's skin as well. Red Son's journey of (very slowly, this is a slowburn) falling in love with MK. A lot of inner monologues, the story plays out more like a retelling of what happened from Red Son's perspective. Kind of like a diary entry and I LOVE IT. I actually didn't understand the pairing before reading this, nor was I that invested in Red Son's character. This fic changed everything. (it also sends you good luck if you read it on the train! I acquired: friends!)

RIPTIDE

-BREAKING FREE! by earlgray_milktea A fish 'n chips Highschool Musical AU (another thing I haven't seen, you don't need to, to read this). The writing is so undoubtedly Disney, it is at times so over the top dramatic, you can't help but smile at half the interactions. The charm is big on this one. The characters are exagerated but somehow not (completely) out of character. Basically if Riptide was on Disney, this is exactly how they'd act. Also it's just really, really cute.

-Depths of Natarus by goldpines Chip Mermaid AU set in an Undersa/Oversea war, focusing on Fish n Chips as well as Jay Ferin (my girl!). Two reasons why you should read this right now. First: the descriptions are SO detailed and immersive! It made me also kinda have a crush on Gillion Tidestrider. How. Second: it made me care about Jay. And the way she's written here is just so so great. You can tell the author knows what they're doing, the feels just keep coming, I alost teared up multiple times. This story makes you feel a lot of emotions at once, an overall amazing reading experience.

And these were my favs since last April. Specifically the ones that made me go absolutely insane. In a good way. Again, if you have any good recommendations (preferably longer stories, but shorter ones are also fine), please feel free to share them.

Thank you for reading this, if you did :D

[ramblyngrobyn]

Juvenile (Pkmn/Prsk crossover) Prologue notes extended

Okay! So! This is the start of a little big something I've been sitting on for a while. For the last several months (since at least April 2023) I've been occasionally poking at this ever-expanding AU in my phone's notes, adding ideas for story beats and things to do with the characters and world. I always figured I wouldn't actually turn this into a real thing and figured I'd just keep it to my own imagination but the brainworms eventually won, so here I am!

Uh, so I don't know how "good" this is gonna be? Hell even this first chapter I'm already worried that maybe I tried to do too much at once. As I was writing a lot of extra ideas hit me for how I could better build this as a solid foundation of the rest of the story. I wanted every scene to like, matter, yknow? It might just straight up be too long! But any time I considered cutting a scene just to make things more brief I was like "no, no, I need that part". I could have also cut it into multiple chapters but it's the same amount of content so like, what would the point be. If you're wondering, the break points for a 3-chapter version of this would have been Mafuyu showing up at Kanade's place and Kanade seeing the others off at the train station.

Right off the bat, the prologue is a bit different tonally and I wanna talk about that. There's not a super high saturation of Pokemon stuff in this opening! I hope that isn't too weird considering this is a Pokemon AU! I wanted to ease Kanade into it before dropping her in the deep end for the last chunk. When the next chapter hits, we’ll be in full on Poke-mode. This chapter also has a handful of more serious moments, which is par for the course since y'know, Niigo. I actually cut out or edited some bleaker moments because I thought they felt out of place, lol. It's gonna get a lot more consistently lighthearted from here, I promise! (Mostly!)

I have the broad strokes of this story outlined, both in written notes and a map that I scribbled out. I don't have all the details in-between locked in, I'm being flexible there, but I know where I want this to go and generally speaking what I want to do with the whole cast.

I'm not aiming for anything super profound with this, and I have no practical experience in long-form storytelling. Hopefully that doesn't bite me in the butt too hard. Going forward, some chapters might end up being mostly choreographed action, some might be the characters sitting around talking for a few thousand words. At the end of the day, this is just me having fun with my favorite characters in one of my favorite fictional words. I'm trying to not think so hard that I corner myself.

On that note, I think it's worth noting up front that this is very much my version of these characters in my version of Unova. Not in a "my fic don't like don't read" kind of way but like... you might not agree with every choice?

For the most part character origins will have to be built from the ground up, though as you can see from this first chapter I've tried to keep bits and pieces from canon that I think naturally fit. Niigo's origin story is honestly pretty easy to write and intuit around considering they first met remotely. And while I did do a lot of expositing in this opening I think that instead of every character getting an airtight, perfectly laid out backstory, I'll leave some things to the imagination.

As far as the laws of the Pokemon universe goes, it probably goes without saying that I definitely won't be following strict rules from the games. Some Pokemon might end up learning moves that aren't in their learnset, for example (or at least, if they make sense for the Mon in question). Some moves and abilities might have their function tweaked for this context, or I might go for a different interpretation of how the move manifests physically. There’ll be Pokemon that have more than literally four moves. Stuff like that. I'm inserting some headcanons, some ideas that I think fill in gaps in the world building, and there'll be a lot of changes to the design of the world. I joke to myself that this is a "post-globalism Unova", because there's some locations that are really different, a couple totally original locations, and Pokemon here that don't show up in Pokemon BW/2. You could call it "anime logic" if you want, I just think loosening the rules makes things more interesting and fun to write and read. 

One more little nugget: In case you didn't recognize it, the title is from the Jin song made for the Project Voltage collab! It's my favorite song so far from the crossover, it makes me feel so many things. It just felt like a perfect fit for this story vibes-wise, as well as a fun coincidence since I’d been imagining Kanade with an Eevee for months beforehand.

I may run out of steam eventually, but I'm publishing this first chapter because I'm currently feeling fired up about it. Even if the current enthusiasm wanes over time this'll be here for me to poke with an update whenever I want.

I'd love for you to join me on this silly journey, and I hope you can enjoy it!

[yume-fanfare]

i. didn't know who else to ask,, would u happen 2 know if there's a manga for heroine tarumono (or some other honeyworks story)?? i could've sworn i saw someone mention it but i can't find it lol

(side note thank u for slingshotting me directly into an obsession w the anime)

aldjslfjdlfm you came to the right person!

there is a manga that directly follows the anime story, but it currently has 4 chapters (releasing monthly) and is fully in japanese 😔 but the anime mostly follows the story of the songs heroine development plan and heroine tarumono (huge spoiler warning for what's to come in the anime) but with a few changes because they couldn't get the vas for some of the characters to participate in the anime so they are kind of getting retconned lmao i wonder how will that work out. anddd there are also two novels about hiyori and LIPxLIP, non-fantasy and heroine development plan which i haven't read ww. there's also the romeo novel thats apparently set a bit earlier so idk if it'll be covered but i'll link it just in case

juuri (everyone's favorite gyaru) also has a song titled i was called cute, which doesn't have an mv but it is just so cute. i don't think it's been tled but i can give you a short summary of what happens in it aldksmdn but it's probably spoilers for the anime too (i hope. i rly want it in the anime)

and as for like other honeyworks media, there are three hour long movies, i've always liked you, the moment you fall in love (regular school slice of life shoujo) and how to enjoy this world (about LIPxLIP). the first two should be easy to find online but the last one hasn't been properly translated yet i think. there is also a short anime, our love was always 10cm apart that's also regular school shoujo but very sad. BUT honestly the quality of these is much lower than the hirotaru anime's alfjskfjm they're good for a lighthearted time and getting to know the characters tho

as for other manga, there is also i, idol declaration (this idol girl will also appear in the anime at least a bit) that has a few chapters translated (japanese raws release weekly and many of them can be read for free) and the dolce 4koma (idols as well) that has much more chapters translated aldksjskfjm (they're usually uploaded on twitter but the acc has been dead for over a year............)

also help thank YOU for putting up with me talking about these guys for so long omg

[chosonore]

part two | yearning

yearning [noun. a strong feeling of wishing for something, especially something that you cannot have or get easily]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 8.2k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, somewhat suggestive, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re somewhat following the timeline of the anime/manga so spoilers ahead!! but what follows afterwards is purely pulled out of my ass lol, lowercase intended [UNEDITED]

a/n: hello, here i am again with a super long chapter ( ˙꒳​˙ ) it is so incredibly messy and i’m so sorry if it gets confusing for you; this just really shows how sporadic my writing process is, i have some guidelines that i follow but sometimes venture off my path when i suddenly get a new idea. nevertheless, i hope you can somewhat enjoy this chapter. feedback or just your thoughts are much appreciated! for those that are waiting for the ~steamy~ content, it is coming next chapter hehe. as always, stay safe everyone (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

previous - masterlist - next

"noritoshi, could you just stay quiet today? i'm really not in the mood," you sighed as you entered the training grounds. the exhaustion from the mission the day before was clinging onto your bones, heavy and admonishingly. the normally exciting sparring lessons seemed dreadful, knowing that all students were to practice today. to practice the balance within the team, utahime had claimed the week prior as she was reprimanding your lack of discipline when it came to noritoshi. stubbornness ran in the family; you refused to back down when someone was hurting your pride. said stubbornness came back to bite you - instead of taking a break to fully recover, you claimed that you would be fine with the help of your reverse curse techniques.

as the days came and went, the yearly tournament slowly approached. after the devastating defeat last year, everyone was on edge and determined to beat tokyo tech. well, that excluded todo, he was just looking for stronger opponents it seemed. noritoshi, on other hand, appeared to be more agitated than usual - if he wasn't barking orders at the other students, he would criticize their fighting styles. you knew he wanted to win the tournament at all costs, to prove himself worthy of the position as the kamo clan head. but he was too rigid about it, rarely accepting help and haughty when questioned. you've been avoiding him as best as you could and of all days, today had to be one where you could not. opponents would be swapped every ten minutes so everyone could practice with another student - facing noritoshi for ten minutes was easy. so you thought. 

"can't promise anything, princess," noritoshi retorted smugly and pat your head like he usually did when he was trying to get a reaction out of you. life always found a way to prove you wrong. for some reason, noritoshi had made it his goal to get under your skin as much as possible on this particular day and it worked. it was childish to engage in this banter but you couldn’t help it. the feeling of not being taken serious by noritoshi had always bothered you. it almost seemed like he wasn’t considering you equal to him, always looking down on you. being stressed wasn’t good, your mother had always reminded you, so it was best to remain calm and collected.

stay calm and collected, calm and collected, you repeated in your head. gritting your teeth, you slapped his hand away and jogged away from him towards todo. at least he'd leave you alone while you were near todo - probably to avoid todo getting mad at him and not wanting to hear about takada-chan again. he was the ultimate and fool-proof shield. the taller male was walking at a leisurely pace in front of you, leading the group as per usual. you caught up to him, slowing down so it didn't look like you just jogged all the way here. away from the menace that was noritoshi. todo glanced at you suspiciously before subtly turning around. a guilty groan left your lips. of course he knew, he always knew. as the unlikely friendship was blossoming between the two of you, you rapidly realized that todo was far more perceptive than he would ever let on. even though he took lighthearted jabs at you, he didn't care enough to intervene; it was a mutual understanding. in a way, you appreciated that he treated you like everyone else, not once had he tried to approach you about your deteriorating relationship with noritoshi.

upon seeing the unlikely pair, miwa speed up as well to join them. even though todo scared her to no end, your presence eased her nerves a little. after all, you weren’t scared to put him back in his place when he was being dramatic. she nudged you gently in greeting, nervously clasping her sword in front of her. "do you think we'll win this year's competition? we've been training a lot, so i hope i can show off some of my skills."

"never say never? even if we lose, it's a good experience to learn from," you replied wryly. while the students of the kyoto tech were strong and coordinated well with each other, noritoshi and you could easily destroy the balance. he didn't know when to stop, persistently pushing your boundaries and you fell for his tricks every time. as long as you could work out a strategy that involved working alone or with a partner that was not him, you'd be fine. your safest bet was to work with miwa since you were both sword users and have practiced together extensively. if noritoshi and you exhibited enough chaos to tear the world apart, miwa and you represented the perfect balance when fighting.

"you're our secret weapon though!" miwa exclaimed excitedly, elbowing you gently. "no one knows you can heal, so we'll use that to our advantage."

"uh…"

"what? don't tell me you-"

"i've asked yuta about advice before," you interrupted her, scratching your head sheepishly. "he's one of the very few people who can use reverse cursed techniques, so i asked him to give me some pointers and how to use it more to my advantage."

when yuta participated in the competition the year before, you were absolutely mesmerized by his level of skills and how he had supposedly mastered them in such a short amount of time. of course you hadn't told anyone that you were talking to him - everyone was still salty about the defeat and would, undoubtedly, have crucified you on sight. truthfully, you didn't understand why everyone was so hellbent about hating the students of your sister school. weren't you all colleagues in a sense? yuta was nice and respectful towards you, always trying his best to explain you how to implement his tips. along the way, you might have developed a tiny, fleeting crush on him but never acted on it. it was only a crush after all and you didn’t feel certain about it not being a mere distraction from your feelings for noritoshi. perhaps it was the way he made you feel, the way he treated you like noritoshi used to before. you couldn't even deny it, you missed your old 'toshi. when you looked at him now, it hurt you, seeing all the traces of gentleness having left him.

"really? you never told me! what is he like? he looked like he was really nice but there were moments where i was really scared of him. well maybe not him but rather… that curse."

"uh, yuta is actually not that scary. he's really helpful and always there for you when you need advice. i think i've improved a lot since we've started talking." you made a mental note to thank yuta again if you got to see each other anytime soon. apparently, gojo had sent him on a mission overseas a few months back and ever since, your exchanged messages grew to be rather sporadic. still, you appreciated that he made an effort to text you every now and then to let you know how he was doing and in turn, also asked about your wellbeing.

"fraternizing with the enemy, i see," noritoshi's voice rang out beside you, dangerously close to your ear. it made you jump in surprise, not having sensed him earlier - your hand automatically shot out to hit him, only for him to catch it in time. you shot him an annoyed glare. beside you, miwa and todo glanced at each other, silently agreeing to ignore the squarreling pair.

"i don't see how that's any of your business."

"it is if it jeopardizes our chance at winning," noritoshi narrowed eyes at you in suspicion. of course he didn't trust you, you were nothing but a mild inconvenience to him. you didn't owe him an explanation, not today and not in the future. any friendship or friendliness between you was long gone. refusing to look into his eyes, you attempted to tug your hand away from him but instead accomplished the exact opposite as noritosh tightened his grip. "what did you tell him?"

"he only helped me with training, that's all! it doesn't concern you anyways so-"

noritoshi was irritated, you could tell. the anger was rolling off him in waves, intimidating even you. why was he so annoyed by the fact that you asked yuta for advice? it wasn't even farfetched - the only other alternatives were gojo and ieiri, both of which you hadn't mustered up the courage to ask yet. wasn't it in everyone's best interest for you to become a great healer? noritoshi would know best - he was the driving force behind your ambition, the sole reason why you worked to the brink of exhaustion just to show him that you didn’t need his help, that you were worthy of a higher rank.

"i don't want you to hang out with the tokyo tech kids, especially not with him."

"wait, what?" you gaped at him in disbelief. "is this just because you have personal beef with some of them? leave me out of this, i just want to improve and you don't get to tell me what to do." with that you shoved the taller male, stomping past the other students towards utahime who was looking at you in disapproval. you missed the upset frown on noritoshi's face as he followed you, wanting to reach out but stopping midway. it wasn't the right time or place to let you know why he didn't want you around them, not yet. seeing you hang out and being relaxed with everyone else but him hurt him, oh how it hurt him. he wanted you close to him, only see him, talk about him excitedly and with stars in your eyes like you did when you talked about yuta. and yet, he couldn't let you know. the only way to keep you orbiting around him was to play these silly games, rile you up and drawing a reaction out of you. it was the only way to make you pay attention to him. and so he did.

calm and collected, my ass, you thought two hours later. of course todo and noritoshi had completely eviscerated the rest of the students with no mercy, leaving everyone in a sour mood. whatever strategy your team would have for the tournament was probably thrown out the window, the two of them would take care of it anyways. not that they would stand a chance against yuta.

“yuta isn’t here?” the disappointment in your voice was palpable. you did look forward to meeting yuta again, thinking that he might have come home from his overseas trip for the tournament. but you supposed getting to know the other students wasn’t too bad, you were interested in the first years and their skills. they certainly looked more approachable than your classmates. miwa told you how todo and mai had met two of them a few weeks prior and promptly started a senseless fight that was then stopped by the second years. it landed them in the water as utahime gave them a lecture - while she didn't tolerate the childish behaviour, everyone else seemed to turn a blind eye to it. noritoshi had scoffed in disapproval upon hearing the news, uttering something about not wanting to associate with dimwits like them. 

"nope, he's still overseas. it doesn't matter anyways, we'll still beat you without him," maki replied with a confident grin, arms crossed as she took in the kyoto tech group of students. regardless, you broke out in a sprint and jumped, engulfing her in a warm hug. while you two didn't talk as much as yuta and you did, you were still friends. she was a source of inspiration to you, a master of all kinds of weapons whom you deeply admired. maki gave you some awkward pats before pulling away to introduce you to the first years - megumi, yuji and nobara. the younger students were wary of you, most likely because of their encounter with todo and mai. you couldn't hold it against them, their intensity and stubbornness was something you had to deal with daily after all. you silently cursed the two brash students before taking a deep breath and extending your hand to the ones in front of you.

“hi, i’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you introduced yourself with a friendly smile, visibly relieved when they shook your hand and introduced themselves. especially nobara seemed to be eager to get to know you, fussing over your uniform and inquiring about your skills. you were glad they welcomed you, not wanting to cause any more trouble than would undoubtedly arise for the duration of the tournament. while megumi seemed to be cautious and more reserved around you, yuuji and nobara already treated you like their friend. subconsciously, you envied them for the wholesome friendship dynamic as it reminded you of what you used to have with noritoshi. the fleeting thoughts left as soon as they made an appearance in your head, disappearing when nobara grasped your hand and pulled you towards the buildings to show you around. unbothered by the reactions of your fellow kyoto tech classmates, you followed her - their energy was stifling and the tournament didn't start until later in the day anyways. it was useless to stay with your group and practice, you'd only overexert yourself.

“y/n.” noritoshi called after you sternly, glaring at you when you turned to look at him - ever since stepping foot into the estate, he was moody and more serious than usual.  it was probably him being tense about the tournament, the spirit to win deeply ingrained in his bones. none of the other students seemed to be bothered by the presence of the tokyo tech students, so why should he? ignoring him, you continued your journey until you felt a force harshly pulling you back by the fabric of your hoodie. intuitively, you could tell it was noritoshi. 

"noritoshi, let me go," you snapped at him irritated, struggling to free yourself from his grasp.

"we have things to discuss, did you forget that?"

"i don't want to," like a petulant child, you gave him an angry look as you stood your ground. tension filled the space between you, tethering on the edge of anger. why was a normal conversation never possible with him? and why did he treat you like a child? you let up when megumi appeared to your side, shooting noritoshi a warning glance as he attempted to remove his hand from yours. even though he didn't know what your relationship was like, he stepped in regardless - you were impressed by him. even if noritoshi remained calm, he was a menace to deal with afterwards.

"she said no, didn't you hear-"

"get your hands off of her." noritoshi growled at megumi, the sudden influx of cursed energy that was surrounding him made all students in close proximity freeze. you couldn't hide you shock either, he had never been this threatening towards someone else. he might push boundaries to the extreme, knowing that he could away with it due to his bloodline and family name but he had never outright threatened anyone that didn't do his bidding. with those words he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arm around your waist protectively. paralyzed, you blankly stared at him. his cursed energy was suffocating you, never had you experienced this amount of pressure. not only that, the unusual closeness set your heart ablaze, burning down the walls that you'd carefully constructed around it.

"you're being ridiculous," megumi challenged the older male, unbothered by the strong pressure. he didn't understand why noritoshi was making a big deal out of this. surely he didn't consider megumi a threat? noritoshi's hold on you strengthened and with panic you realized the blood-red markings appearing on his face, he was being serious, oh god he was going to rip megumi apart-

"hey hey, stop it you two," panda's voice snapped you out of your trance and seemingly noritoshi's as well as he wacked his arm. "you just got here and you're already stirring up trouble, are you not ashamed?"

noritoshi simply scoffed and let you go, his cursed energy dissipating with the movement. the rest of the students were as stunned as you were, no one daring to make another move until the tension evaporated. todo was the only one who looked rather annoyed, smacking the back of noritoshi’s head as he started to tell him off - noritoshi, however, kept walking past him towards the dorms that they were staying at for the week. it was almost like there was steam coming off his head as a result of holding his anger in. nobara gaped at you in surprise, pointing at you accusingly. “i didn’t know that was your boyfriend!”

you spluttered in horror, quickly reaching out to her to try and cover her mouth so she wouldn’t say anything incriminating. “n- no you got it wrong! we’re not together, not at all! i hate noritoshi,” you floundered, hastily trying to set the record straight. nobara didn’t look like she believed you, pushing your hands away while giggling. she wiggled her eyebrows at you, whispering at you about how lucky you were to snag such a handsome guy although she thought that he really didn’t have to overreact like that because megumi was harmless. covering your face in embarrassment, you turned away from her and caught a glimpse of an amused todo winking at you.

“i’m serious, nobara!" whatever whining you did, the two of them didn’t let up, making you wonder what you ever did wrong to deserve this scrutiny. as your last resort you grabbed nobara's hand, dragging her along towards a secluded area in the estate. being the subject of the earlier conflict was already troubling enough, you didn't want the other students to get the wrong idea by her wild speculations. nobara was still giggling when you arrived, pinching your arm playfully.

“c’mon, it’s impossible that there is not something between you! did you see the look on his face? i don’t think he would have cared had it been any other person,” she gushed excitedly, her face lighting up in glee. with no doubt, nobara enjoyed poking her nose in other people's business, seemingly having a knack for sniffing out the hidden. a dejected sigh left your lip. a younger you would have jumped in happiness after finally receiving noritoshi's attention but the present you knew better. there wasn't more to it, you told yourself and yet, a tiny sliver of doubt made its way into your mind. could he really have been so bothered by another male being so close to you? todo didn't count, obviously.

"no, there's nothing to it, i promise. we don't have the best relationship anymore and mostly fight. i mean yeah his reaction was really uncharacteristic but…"

"anymore?"

"noritoshi and me grew up together and were childhood friends. i- i didn't agree with his antics as we grew up and we drifted apart after that and now… hate each other? he’s just unbearable and we don’t get along. everyone at kyoto tech knows that so they’re mostly ignoring our fights. and it’s childish, i know, i know..." 

“are you sure? like super duper sure? because it didn’t look like it to me,” nobara contemplatively rubbed her chin. the wheels were turning in her head, something didn’t quite add up. even at first glance, whatever you said made her feel doubtful.

“trust me, i wish it was different too. i mean i used to like him a lot and it makes me sad and i wish we could at least be civil around each other. but he just makes me so angry,” your ramblings stopped nobara’s thinking - so that’s what it was. normally, nobara really didn’t care about other people’s business but this was too juicy to pass up. how far could she push it to make you realize?

why was the layout of all these buildings so confusing? and why were there so many buildings to begin with? you’ve been wandering around for at least five minutes now and you still couldn’t figure out where the hell yuji’s and megumi’s rooms were supposed to be. they didn’t even have any signs around. at this point, it didn’t matter if it took longer than anticipated - the others could wait. nobara had insisted on having a small get together the night before, to get to know each other and play some card games. you couldn’t refuse, it’s been a while since you just hung out with friends without any quarreling. there was no harm in getting to know you future colleagues, even though your classmates were treating them like criminals. so instead of going herself and much to your dismay, nobara had sent you to fetch the other two students, claiming that you would be fine if you just stuck to the measly sketch she’d made for you. most of the rooms you’ve already knocked at remained empty so you couldn’t be far from their rooms, you concluded.

stopping in front of the last remaining door of the corridor, you took a deep breath. this had to be one of their rooms. slowly, you raised your hand to knock at the door when it was suddenly yanked open, startling you in the process and making you drop the piece of paper you were holding. what you weren’t expecting was coming face to face with noritoshi who looked at you as equally confused. he was the last person you wanted to see today, not wanting to confront him about his actions earlier. you couldn’t wrap your head around it; why had he overreacted in such a way? it wasn’t like you were in danger or in need of protection. for a brief moment, you thought that there was a sliver of strange possessiveness. you couldn’t quite place the emotions in his eyes, it made you shudder.

“oh uh, sorry. i was looking for yuji and megumi and this is very obviously not one of their rooms. sorry again. i’ll take my leave,” you awkwardly stammered, taking a step back. noritoshi’s figure was towering over you and in a rare moment, you felt intimidated by him. perhaps it was the dark look in his eyes that told you that he was not thrilled by what you just told him. before you could react, he swiftly grabbed your arm and pulled you inside his room, trapping you against the door.

“w- wait!” you protested weakly, pushing at his chest until his face slowly came into your vision. you couldn’t help but stare at his lips, watching them move as he was talking to you. your ears were ringing, you couldn’t tell what he was saying. the close proximity was suffocating and yet you craved more, not wanting to let him go.

“y/n? did you hear me?” 

“huh?” snapping out of your trance, you looked at him dumbfounded. noritoshi was frowning at you, slightly concerned about your state as you didn’t answer him. just then you finally got a proper look at him. it was a rare sight; noritoshi wearing casual clothes, a simple oversized shirt and shorts, and his hair down without the bindings. feeling nostalgic, your heart clenched. he looked like his old self, the ‘toshi that you loved dearly.

“i said, i don’t want you around them. i don’t- i don’t like seeing you with them,” noritoshi repeated with a strained voice. he placed his hands beside your head, inching closer to you.

“what- noritoshi, you don’t get to tell me who i can hang out with! last time i checked, we’re not even friends anymore so where do you get the idea that you can do this? what’s the big deal ab-” you didn’t get to finish your sentence when he pressed his lips against yours clumsily. you seized up in shock, not returning the kiss as a whirlwind of thoughts entered your mind. holy shit, he was really kissing you. but you hated each other, so why? why, why, why. when you didn’t respond, noritoshi pulled away in panic, spluttering apologies as he moved away from you. your emotional world was in chaos, all the buried and forgotten feelings for him breaking the dams and flooding your senses until the yearning became too much. you were reminded of the conversation you had with your mother years ago - you still wanted him, missed him. you wanted him by your side. desperately, you reached out, fisting the fabric of his shirt as you leaned up to kiss him. noritoshi caught you in his arms, wrapping them around you as he fervently returned the kiss. he was holding you like he was afraid you would dissipate into thin air, frantically pulling you in. his hands were roaming, discovering the expanse of your body.

his touches left you feeling delirious, high on pleasure. a mewl left your lips, pleading him for something, for more. your hands moved higher, feeling his chest and broad shoulders before you wrapped your arms around his neck. his name left your lips in breathy sighs as he peppered kisses down your jaw, pulling the collar of your shirt to the side to gain more access to the expanse of your neck. suddenly, you were hoisted up and pressed against the door as noritoshi held you by your thighs. you struggled to wrap your legs around his waist, to distracted by his relentless ministrations. by the time he's left multiple hickeys on your neck, you were whimpering mess. noritoshi's breath was taken away at the sight of you in his arms, lips swollen from the kisses, the glossy eyes, dishevelled hair and the hickeys that were slowly becoming more visible. he couldn't understand how carelessly you were letting him proceed when you supposedly harboured a strong dislike for him. nevertheless, he enjoyed it and wanted to savour the moment, ingrain it into his memory so he'd never forget why he was treating you like a nuisance.

a loud knock resounded from the door, followed by someone shouting: "noritoshi? has y/n been here?"

out of sheer shock, you shoved noritoshi away from you and nearly fell as you attempted to detangle yourself from him. he caught you in time, signalling you to stay quiet as the person outside was still shuffling around nervously. you slumped against him limply, letting your head rest against his chest. his heart was beating erratically. it made yours fill with pride as you could tell that you had the same effect on him as he did on you. still, the precarious situation suddenly dawned on you - you'd just made out with your sworn enemy and, yes you used to have a crush on him, enjoyed it very much. and by the looks of it, he would have continued if you hadn't pushed him away. the entire ordeal greatly confused you; was noritoshi just playing around with you? it couldn't be, he had initiated it after all. the cold treatment he usually gave you didn't match with his actions just now. you couldn't get close to him, not when he gave you mixed signals. you wanted someone who cherished you and was always sincere so you wouldn't have to second guess their actions.

"huh, i guess noritoshi's already sleeping. we'll have to check somewhere else, i hope she didn't get lost," the person outside mumbled as you stayed silent. the sound of shuffling was heard, then steps away from the room. you stayed put until you were sure they were gone and gently removed yourself from noritoshi's grip, not looking him in the eyes. he didn’t move, letting you go willingly.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know what came over me,” you apologized with a pained voice. “please forget that it ever happened and uhm, please don’t tell anyone.”

noritoshi’s eyes widened at your pleas, moving to stop you from leaving so he could explain himself to you. “y/n, wait, i can ex-”

hastily, you stumbled to open the door, dashing away from him until the building was out of your sight. you poorly hid behind a tree, sinking to your knees as you buried your face in your hands. what the hell. you just made out with your childhood friend turned enemy. your buried feelings were all over the place and your mind just couldn’t stay still. it messed with your outlook as well as your image of noritoshi, distorting and twisting it until you had to rethink your relationship. maybe all this time, you subconsciously hoped that he would return back to his old self and somehow give you an explanation. never having received closure on the end of your friendship, you would even forgive him for the sake of your relationship. were you this shallow? no, you simply harboured a lot of feelings for him. you weren’t able to tell what his thought process was - was he even interested in you? did he see you like that?

“there you are,” you lifted your head to see gojo walking towards you with his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his pants. you almost didn’t recognize him as he simply wore a pair of sunglasses and let his hair down. “the others are looking for you. what are you doing out here? trouble in paradise?”

“n-no! i just needed some time away from everyone to- to catch my breath,” you exclaimed indignantly and perhaps too hastily you realized when gojo smirked at you knowingly. why did everyone assume that there was anything between noritoshi and you? was it that obvious?

“uh huh. that’s not what your neck says,” gojo pointed out while wiggling his eyebrows and offered you a hand to stand up. “he really doesn’t like any competition.”

“fuck,” you cursed quietly, covering the hickeys with one hand while taking gojo’s with your other and pulling yourself up. it was embarrassing enough to meet one of the teachers like this but it was even more embarrassing to know that your teacher had seen the aftermath of your makeout session. 

“i’m not gonna tell anyone, if that’s what you’re concerned about. although it would certainly be funny to tease little noritoshi,” gojo was giggling and you knew he was greatly amused by the entire situation. it almost reminded you of nobara. you groaned in frustration as you trailed behind him towards the girls’ dorms. you needed to hide your neck so no one would question it or grill you until you confessed; the potential embarrassment was mortifying.

your group strategy was already falling apart when todo suddenly disappeared in the depths of the forest, not caring about your teamwork in the slightest. normally, it would frustrate you a lot more if you weren’t already preoccupied with your own troubles. todo would be fine anyways, the remaining group members could work on a strategy on their own. as mechamaru and mai were discussing, you shot a glance at noritoshi. he looked as deadpan as usual, probably not listening to the discussion as he worked better on his own and it was more or less decided that mechamaru and him would be moving on their own while the others would team up. otherwise, you couldn’t tell whether he was bothered by what had transpired between you the night before. on the contrary, he looked calm and composed, probably more focused on his goal than anything else. and for some reason it bothered you.

when you’d returned to nobara’s room last night, gojo had helped you make up an excuse. while dramatically gesturing around, he’d told them that he intercepted her journey towards the boys’ dorms to recruit you for training, claiming that he wanted to teach you more about reverse cursed techniques. although he saved you from scrutiny and embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel like he might use it as leverage in the future. it was gojo after all, he was unpredictable. absentmindedly, you agreed to whatever plan the others had schemed and grabbed your sword, getting ready to move to your assigned position with miwa. while you had heard of the other students’ skills, you weren’t sure where to place their levels as there was always room for surprises. underestimating opponents was a beginner's mistake. the bell rang out, signaling the start of the tournament; with swift movements, the group members dispersed and slowly moved towards the "enemy".

in the distance, you could already hear loud explosions - it was probably mechamaru happily blasting away his opponents. you gritted your teeth in annoyance, the blasts were too loud for you to make out anyone approaching you. and as you predicted, someone was taking advantage of the noise to stalk up on you. barely being able to block the blow with your sword, you found yourself opposite of maki who was grinning at you. the challenging glint in her eyes told you that she wasn't going to go easy on you but you welcomed it. it was a good opportunity for you to grow and hone your sword wielding skills.

however, it proved to be more difficult to defeat maki than you'd originally anticipated. in mere minutes, maki had already disarmed miwa, leaving her defenseless and you were hanging on a bare thread. your grip on the sword was weakening, laboured breath making your ears ring. it was frustrating, knowing that after all those months of rigorous practice, you still couldn't win a fight. giving up wasn't an option, at the very least you had to give it your all.

"c'mon, you can do better than this!" maki teased you as you ducked away from the swipe of her spear. it missed you by a hair's width and left you scrambling to create more distance between you so you could heal yourself. maki's relentless hits didn't give you any rooms for it - you really had to learn how to constantly apply it to yourself without losing time. from the corner of your eyes, you could see that miwa had picked up the phone. she was probably calling for help, you thought and dished out another hit towards maki which she skillfully dodged. instead, she delivered another blow to your legs, making your knees buckle from the force. you used your sword to support you and took another breath before you tried to lunge at her. in the distance, miwa suddenly collapsed, making you stop mid-move and took another hit from maki that took all the air in your lungs.

"eyes on your opponent, y/n. you know better than to get distracted in a fight, you could've been killed in a real fight," maki reprimanded you as you coughed heavily, gasping for air as you slowly got back up. you were unsteady on your feet, not having enough energy to even heal yourself. conflicted by whether you should face maki again or help miwa, your eyes were flitting between them. maki took advantage of your uncertainty, dealing another blow to you that knocked the sword out of your hand. as your last resort, you kicked at her feet, trying to get her to fall, only to have her pin you to the ground.

"you're going to have to practice a lot more to beat me in the future," she sighed, picking up your sword. panic welled up in your chest - the sword was the only way you could possibly somewhat win this fight but even subconsciously you knew that it was over. reaching out for the sword in desperation, your vision was clouded with tears. it was frustrating, so so frustrating. why couldn't you be as talented as her? or have fast reflexes like noritoshi? why were you ordinary, not being able to make any progress no matter how hard you try?

"i know but i can't give up now!" you defiantly retorted, pushing at her with all might. "i have to win, i just have to show my skills for once and prove myself, i- i-"

even maki softened up at your heart wrenching sobs, easing up on her grip. you both knew it was over. you were probably already eliminated from the tournament, with no other possibility to redeem yourself. she knew that you tried your best and never once underestimated her but something irked her. it was your motivation, your driving force.

"y/n, there's no shame in losing. that's how you grow, make mistakes and learn from them. you tried your best, it's not easy to stand against me for so long."

"i know but there's- i'm still not where i need to be! look at how much progress the others are making in comparison to me! i've been practicing day and night and still, no one is noticing me. i'm just a measly healer and i-"

"y/n." maki cut you off sternly. "is this your motivation? proving yourself to others? you'll not be able to improve if you keep fighting for others. you need to start working on yourself, for yourself. you don't owe anyone anything. but you have to realize that trying to satisfy other people's needs will only make you unhappy and hinder your growth."

"i'm unhappy with my skills! i keep telling myself that it's okay, that i have a rare cursed technique but sometimes i just wish i had a flashy technique or be as strong as you. i don't want to be looked at as if i need protection, i don't want it! i just-" you hiccuped, sniffling again as you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your uniform. "i just want someone to acknowledge me, want him to accept me as an equal…"

"who?" maki's cold look made you freeze in your movements. you didn't mean to let that slip. no one needed to know that the entire time, you were vying for noritoshi's attention. but she was right; there was no point in giving it your all if it wasn't for yourself. it was a silly, childish dream of yours to be equal with him again. he was far out of reach and you couldn't catch up to him.

"n- noritoshi," you admitted in defeat. maki saw right through you, there was no point in lying. she raised her eyebrows at you but didn't question it further. after all, you hadn't told her about the background story. unless nobara had done so, you wouldn't doubt it.

"i'm not gonna ask you why. but this is my advice, do not fight for somebody else. if you relentlessly work on yourself for your own benefit, you'll see progress a lot faster. your technique might not be flashy but it is powerful, remember that. you're a valuable asset to every team," she concluded and pulled you up, awkwardly patting your back as you still sniffled. maki opened her mouth to tell you some comforting words but froze when another extremely loud boom resounded near the entrance of the estate. your eyes widened at the sudden influx of cursed energy - there was no doubt that a high-level curse had just entered the school grounds. you turned to maki to tell her the news but she'd already moved, pointing to miwa.

"take her to a safe place, you can't stay here! in your state, you wouldn't last against such a strong curse," maki yelled at you as she disappeared in the woods. you scrambled frantically, not wanting to be left behind. while you were useless for the tournament, you could at least still be of assistance against a curse. miwa was still laying on the ground, unmoving. you shook her gently, scared that she was seriously hurt. it seemed like she was just sleeping instead; you were relieved. throwing her across your shoulder, you winced in pain but persisted nonetheless. you had to get her away from here, who knows what curses were roaming around. your senses were flooded with the stench of blood and debris, the pressure of cursed energy, the loud rumbles. you couldn't tell where the others were but you hoped they were safe.

a loud thud startled you and you stopped, ready to draw your sword until realization hit you that it was utahime that was inspecting you. determined, you thrusted miwa's limp body towards utahime. 

"miwa will be okay, she's just sleeping! i'm okay too, don't worry, please just take care of her and i'll check on the others!"

"y/n, don't be stupid! you're injured and in no state to help others." utahime attempted to convince you; you shook her off stubbornly, insisting that you were fine.

"what if the others get hurt? i have to help them or at least warn them!" your resolve was firm and unwavering that even utahime couldn't convince you otherwise. slipping out of her grasp, you sprinted towards the source of the cursed energy. from far away you could already see the damage that the curse had caused. multiple buildings were torn apart, trees dislodged and- were those branches rapidly growing out of the ground? you watched in horror as the branches whipped around, following running figures on the rooftop of one of the buildings. upping your speed, you jumped towards the group to aid them. as you neared them, you could make out inumaki, noritoshi, and megumi fighting against the curse, maki trailing close behind. 

they barely stood a chance against the curse, every hit that they dealt, the curse would come out unscathed. "what's the deal with that curse?" you asked, panting as you joined them, coming to a halt behind inumaki. megumi was yelling something but you couldn't hear him as noritoshi turned to you and shoved you out of the way.

"y/n, what are you doing here?" 

"helping you guys? what the fuck does it look like?" you yelled back exasperated. why was he mad at you in such a situation? they needed any helping hand they could get to defeat the curse. while you weren't useful in fights, you could at least provide continuous healing. noritoshi didn't have any time to reply as the curse lashed out again, dodging it by jumping to the side. you stayed close to inumaki, swiftly healing him when he collapsed from the rebound of his cursed speech. you clenched your jaw, not wanting the others to see that you were slowly running out of energy and strength. next thing you know, a body was hurled through the air, landing near you with a thud. your heart filled with dread when your eyes fell onto the figure, recognizing noritoshi.

"y/n, heal them as best as you can and get out of here! take them to the teachers!" maki yelled out and this time you obeyed, too panicked about noritoshi's state. you were thankful that inumaki had enough energy to run after you'd healed him - hauling noritoshi's tall frame around was already difficult enough but even more so when you were exhausted. as you neared the gates, utahime was already running towards you with a concerned look on her face. you were glad that she was nearby, it meant that gojo and the other teachers were close and could defend you.

"what happened?" utahime worried but you couldn't reply. falling to your knees, you gently laid noritoshi on the ground. the injuries looked bad, there was blood everywhere. you had to stop the wound on his head from bleeding but your trembling hands were preventing you from doing so.

"i- i don't know, i just- i think the curse hit him and now he's unconscious and he's losing so much blood and-"

utahime pinched you firmly, snapping you out of your panic. she was already holding a cloth to noritoshi's temple to stop the bleeding. patting your hand, she told you in a gentle voice: "heal him if you still have enough strength but don't overexert yourself. ieiri will be here soon." 

nodding frantically, you placed your trembling hands on his abdomen and let your cursed energy flow. the strength was slowly leaving your body but you had to save him. you had to make sure he was okay, he couldn't die, not like this. regret was bubbling up inside you; what if this was the last time you would ever get to see him?just as you felt his energy responding to yours and saw his hand moving slightly, you couldn't hold yourself upright anymore. the last thing you saw was utahime reaching out to catch you as you collapsed.

you woke up with a startle, gasping for air as you sat up abruptly. sunlight was flooding the room and it felt uncomfortably hot on your skin. you pushed the blanket back but stopped halfway in your movement. your entire body hurt, muscles burning and screaming for more rest. and yet you couldn’t stay still as you remembered the previous events. how long were you out for? was everyone okay? gritting your teeth, you slowly moved out of the room. again, you were faced with the endless maze that was the tokyo tech buildings and stopped in your tracks, not sure which direction to go. you let out a sigh of relief when you spotted yuji in the distance, waving at him to get his attention.

“y/n!” yuji ran towards you, frantically gesturing towards your room. “you’re supposed to be resting! what are you doing here?”

“is everyone okay?” you croaked, now realizing how dry your throat was.

“yeah, ieiri did a good job of healing everyone! some of us are still resting though and so should you.”

“no, i… is noritoshi okay?”

“noritoshi? oh, you mean the guy with the long hair?” yuji nodded, curiously eyeing you as your shoulders dropped, the stress rolling of them. “yeah, he’s still recovering though. ieiri said that his injuries were probably the worst so he’s not allowed to leave the bed.”

“can you take me to him?” you asked with a small voice, doing your best to muster up a puppy face. yuji sighed, scratching his head sheepishly. you could see the conflict in his eyes, that he was thinking about rejecting your request. in the end, he shook his head in defeat and motioned for you to follow him. a small grin found its way onto your lips - yuji was just too nice, he couldn’t say no when people ask him for favours. the walk to noritoshi’s room was silent, neither of you knowing what to say. you knew it was selfish of you not to ask him about his wellbeing more or visit the others but you just had to see for yourself that noritoshi was okay. yuji stopped in front of a door, pointing at it.

“this is his room. he might be sleeping though… my room is down the hall so if you need me to accompany you back to your room, just call me.”

you thanked him quietly and watched as he retreated. taking a deep breath, you knocked at the door and waited for a reply. a few moments passed before noritoshi’s voice rang out, giving you the okay to enter. gingerly, you opened the door and entered the room. noritoshi was sitting on his bed, reading a book as if nothing had happened. you looked at him bewildered. he didn’t look like his injuries fazed him at all. despite the bandages around his head and arms, he remained calm as if nothing hurt. 

“noritoshi,” you breathed out, taking a seat on the chair near the bed. he didn’t spare you a look, keeping his eyes on the book. “i uhm. i’m glad you’re okay! when i saw you in that state, i was so so scared that i could lose you… i did my best to heal you, i know i didn’t do much but-”

“i didn’t need your help,” noritoshi snapped at you, placing the book on his lap. “i would’ve been fine without it.”

you were stunned. why was he so agitated? after you initial shock, you huffed in frustration. “what the hell, you could’ve died! i was trying so hard to keep you alive and you react like this? i know you don’t like me but even this is a low blow for you!”

“it wouldn’t have been a problem if you hadn’t inserted yourself into everything! you’re not helping anyone, just dragging us down; everything could’ve gone well if it wasn’t for you standing in the way,” noritoshi countered as frustrated, this time actually looking at you. you stared back at him in disbelief. you saved his life and he had the nerve to shot you down like this.

“does it really hurt your ego to admit that i was actually helpful? we were friends at some point so why do you insist on being such a dick? and here i was, finally thinking that we were getting somewhere- for fuck’s sake, we kissed and-”

“leave.”

you stopped rambling. the tired tone in his voice, the deadpan look on his face; he was serious. you couldn’t believe him. tears welled up in your eyes as you leaped from the chair and hastily exited the room, slamming the door in anger. 

you never wanted to see him again.

p.s: yes nobara gave you a wrong sketch of the buildings what about it hehe

taglist: @milkteeboba​

[quinintheclouds]

YES YES YES YES YES

Spoilers for RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 6

THAT WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAD EVEN LET MYSELF HOPE FOR

It really looks like this is the Volume the writers realized how many answers we’ve needed for years and years, and is answering them now. I wish it’d come sooner, of course, but since they can’t go back and fix the pacing or writing, I’m really impressed and optimistic about how Volume 8 is going!

BUT MORE SPECIFICALLY

I would like to GUSH about how they handled the Oscar and Ozpin scenes. We have needed, nay, BEGGED for this sort of development, and it’s finally here. There’s too much I want to rave about so bullet point time! 

[Note: I love the farmboy so this wound up longer than expected -- have a read more for your scrolling convenience -- TL;DR at the end]

We got confirmation that Ozpin has been pleading with Oscar to let him take over so he can burden the pain and torture instead. Oscar is the one refusing, choosing to take it himself because he knows Salem and Hazel will be much harsher on Oz. I thought that was the case, but I’m so glad they addressed it because otherwise we’d be wondering why Oz hasn’t offered. It does make me wonder, is Oz still able to take control without asking? Oscar was able to fight it in vol 6, and he’s come a long way.

Hazel is holding back -- at least, Oscar says he can tell that he is. This would keep in line with the battle at Haven, when Hazel was suspiciously playing defense and stalling by letting Ozpin monologue, then letting Oscar give a little protagonist speech... I mean, it sure doesn’t LOOK like he’s holding back. Look at this kid:

moving on before I cry,

Ozpin suggests he take over and try to escape.

Oscar says no, he has a better idea. “This is our chance.”

Oz: “Hm. Maybe you’ve taken one too many hits.” I like this for two reasons: one, because it gives us a taste of the ol’ lighthearted Ozpin humor we’ve missed since he’s been gone, and two, because it shows that he and Oscar think differently. They have different thought processes, ideas, etc. Oz didn’t immediately know what Oscar was planning.

Oscar explains that Salem can’t take on everyone at once, and thus has been sending people to infiltrate all of remnant first, to attack from within. 

I LOVE that they had Oscar come up with this, because it is so in line with his character development in Volume 7. Not to mention how in volume 6 he was the one to figure out how to defeat Cordovin’s mecha. It’s cool to see him as a strategist, because while he’s a sweet kid from the middle of nowhere, he’s proven to be really smart and quick.

Plus, this gives him agency. People wanted Ozpin to return and save Oscar, but this is so, so much better. Oscar’s idea, Oscar’s choice, and Oz gets right on board. They’re agreeing to work together, despite their unresolved conflict. “Ozma learned the importance of living with the souls with which he’d been paired.”

AND THEN, A MOMENT I CANNOT THANK RT ENOUGH FOR:

The captions don’t show it, but Oscar AND Ozpin said this in unison. Now, this and the few seconds that follow were a rollercoaster of emotions. Let’s break it down:

When they said this together, I was positively GIDDY with excitement: they’re leaning into the “like-minded souls” thing and calling attention to the situation! Surely this must be a sign that Oscar and Ozpin will indeed both exist when their souls are one, as they are both equally parts of the combination of lives that is Ozma. Well, maybe not equally (yet?). 

Then, my elation was replaced with dread. What if this was actually an indication of them “merging” in the way some of the FNDM interpret it will go, rather than how I think it does? Or what if that’s not what RT is doing, but what if the FNDM takes it as a sign Ozpin is taking over?? I can’t last the whole break without knowing!

AND THEN!!! Ugh, this made me so relieved. Ozpin says, in a slightly amused tone of voice with a trace of a laugh, “We certainly are similar, you and I.” YESSSSS more references to them being like-minded souls!! But still having differences!! 

“Maybe we have been presented with an opportunity.” I’m really glad they went the route where Oscar is changing Ozpin’s mind on things. Oz no longer thinks he knows best, and is allowing Oscar to come into his own. Now he’s seeing how far Oscar’s come and the person he is.

Related note: The commentary for the vol 7 finale said that it was Oscar’s speeches to Ironwood about fear and trust that made Oz realize he’s been keeping secrets and hiding out of fear, and inspired him to come back. This is so promising for Oscar’s character going forward.

[Side note: Would love more info on what Oscar meant in volume 7 when he said “these memories... you’re back, aren’t you?” because? Is he just referring to the scenes with things like how he talked about Atlas’ history as if he were there, or does he have access to Oz’s memories now? 2 chapters ago we saw that he doesn’t yet know the location of the Beacon Relic. So unless he was lying really well, he doesn’t have ALL the memories yet. So which ones does he have? RT EXPLAIN]

Next,

I would like to call attention to the fact that Oscar smiled here. After Ozpin said they were similar, I was worried Oscar would react the way he has in the past: sad and conflicted about his identity, worried he’s becoming less of himself. But no. Like we saw in Volume 7, THIS is who Oscar Pine is. His development was his own, and we get to see that when Ozpin returned because Oscar had made him rethink his choices. Oscar Pine is more himself now than he’s been at any other point in the series. 

It’s really brilliant how the writers have used these last 2 volumes to show that Penny, the robot, is one of the most human characters on the show; and Oscar, the boy cursed to death and rebirth with a soul that was not his own, is one of the most individualistic ones. It’s just really cool how they’re playing with our expectations of the characters. (They’re doing great with Salem, too!)

[Side note: Penny’s soul/aura was given to her by Pietro, and they still have distinct personalities and identities. It’s possible that’s a parallel to Oscar’s situation, but I do feel the merge’s completion will result in one remaining soul/identity - just not a “taking over” situation]

Okay, that’s the last of that rollercoaster I mentioned. 

Time to get on a new one!

At long last, this episode finally gave us something we haven’t had since chapter 4 of volume SIX*:

*(I am not counting the one second of "Oscar." *glowy eyes* *Oscar blinks and is back in control* in the vol 7 finale)

OZPIN IS BACK!!!!

First, HELL YES I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN!!!

Second, wow, they can change really quickly now. At first it took effort and was super visible, then just shook Oscar up a bit with the glowy eyes, and now it seems almost effortless, seamless. The eyes glow and the transition is smooth. I like it.

We didn’t get to hear Oscar’s thoughts after Oz said “Oscar, please,” begging him again to let him take control. So we don’t know whether Oscar allowed it out of pain, exhaustion, their plan, or a decision to trust Oz and work together here. Alternatively, Ozpin may have simply taken over of his own accord. I wish the writers would give us more insight to Oscar’s thoughts, because those scenes already have him talking inside/to his own head, so leaving some of his thoughts out can seem intentional and open-ended, which could mean more dragging out answers, but I think this was fine. Not the worst case of this by far lol

WHEN! HE! SPOKE!

I was hoping for this with all my heart. Over the course of volume 7 in particular, we saw Oscar’s voice, mannerisms, and speech patters start to resemble Ozpin’s. However, he still sounds and feels like Oscar. Going back to Volume 5, heck, even Volume 6 (which is when we last saw Ozpin in control), the voice of Ozpin speaking through Oscar is similar, but distinctly different from how Oscar’s speaking now. So I’ve been theorizing and hoping, and it CAME TRUE! Ozpin sounds more like Oscar now, while still managing to clearly be Ozpin.

Right from the first “Hello,” it was noticeable. It sounded almost like Oscar. I know it’s the same voice actor when one of them is in control (same body, same vocal cords), but that just makes it even more impressive. This is the first time we’ve heard Ozpin’s voice speaking through Oscar since QRWBY yelled at him in the snow in vol 6. And I was NOT disappointed.

“Why do you follow her?” I’ll keep saying it, but he sounds so much like Oscar confronting Ironwood. 

“I know how you see me. But her? Look at what she does, how is she the answer, why not stop her??” This gives me serious deja vu to Oscar’s speech towards Hazel in the Battle of Haven (and his speech towards Ironwood in v7′s finale). That speech had given Hazel pause then, and this one does as well, now. Ozpin sounds angrier, though, more aware of just how far gone these people are, but knowing they can change.

Hazel calls Ozpin out for the same thing the FNDM has been, and honestly, it’s been a long time coming. Hazel’s motivations are extremely misguided, Oscar was right to stand up for Oz/Gretchen at Haven, and the show really needed to reinforce the Ozpin-isn’t-bad-actually thing. Now it’s all out in the open. But it’s Ozpin’s response to this that elevated this scene even more:

That’s it. Ozma has spent countless lives fighting a war that may be impossible to win. But if no one tries, no one will survive. The gods will destroy all of Remnant. Still, every single lifetime, he chooses to try. Like Oscar said in volume 5 (about Hazel’s sister but writing-wise also kinda about Pyrrha), “She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself. So do I.” Like-minded souls.

AND THIS!!! Good gods I’m glad he said this. The show went way too long before anyone even questioned the “You can’t” answer from Jinn. Nora mentioned it in passing earlier, which I liked a lot (though this really should’ve been discussed in volume 6, but better late than never). But here? We see that Oz never gave up, never planned on losing, not sending people to a battle he “knows they can’t win.” While Salem is immortal, she is not infallible. Not even the gods were. Salem can be fought. Even Hazel has a moment of hesitation, perhaps even realization, before Salem enters.

Salem manipulates Cinder, offering her the maiden powers she wants so badly, and Ozpin interjects. “You’ll only be helping her bring about the end, for all of you!”

I just wanted to show these shots because again, just as we’ve seen Oscar’s mannerisms become increasingly similar to Ozpin’s, now that he’s back, we get to see the other way around. Look at the surprise and fear on his face. Look at how he widens his eyes and raises his eyebrows instead of narrowing/furrowing them now. Listen to the sounds he makes when tortured or thrown about. Listen to the desperation and earnest passion held in his pleas. He’s no longer hiding -- he’s being honest with the people who scare him most, and truly trying to help them see the light. 

[Side note: Cinder is not showing remorse in this scene, but I wonder how she’d react to Oscar, not Ozpin, being tortured. In the same episode, we have Cinder being tortured with a shock collar, AND we have Oscar decide to try to appeal to the humanity left in these villains. Last time we saw Oscar, Salem was torturing him with intense, almost electric magic. She might not care, but I wonder...]

ANYWAY I’m done for now. Have a TL;DR that wound up being long too

TL;DR: 

Basically, I’m super happy with the writers for the detail put into these scenes: 

they confirmed Oz has been begging to take over and bear the torture instead

had Oscar come up with an idea himself instead of getting rescued or immediately escaping

had Oscar view his dire situation as an opportunity, reminding us of his optimism and capabilities as a strategist

had Ozpin not know what Oscar’s plan was before he explained it (this might change as the souls become one, but it at least shows they think differently)

Oscar’s plan to appeal to the villains’ humanity and infiltrate Salem’s forces from within lining up with his volume 7 character development

had Oz trust Oscar and put his faith in him, which is progress for Oz

Oz and Oscar speaking in unison and agreeing to work together

Ozpin’s comment about them being similar, not the same

had Ozpin take control to speak to Hazel

Ozpin’s speech to Hazel and Cinder as parallels to Oscar’s speeches to Hazel and Ironwood, which CRWBY said were the reason Oz realized his secrecy is out of fear of trust, and Oscar’s points are what inspired him to come back.

Ozpin sounding and acting more like Oscar just like we’ve seen happen the other way around (though with Oscar, he’s holding true to his own ideas/morals, with Oz meeting him there)

established hope for some of our villains to defect, setting it in motion.

[avasghost]

camp nano update #1

so apparently i'm doing weekly camp nano updates. don't hold me to this i'll probably forget by week three, but at least i remembered this week so its a good start.

current wordcount: 3609 😬

how things are going: why is life so hard lol. i could rant about writers block for an hour (and i have) but i'll spare you because this is supposed to be lighthearted. the main problem at the moment is that i don’t how to write sentences anymore and im definitely not going to meet my goal! fun times.

what i've written: the first vignette, the second vignette, the first prose poem section, and most of the chapter after that. i'm still not entirely sure about the structure, so a few things might get rearranged at some point.

excerpt:

hard to find one because! i've hardly written anything! but here's one from the first vignette that i honestly don't like very much but its better than nothing. here's asher walking through a field right after leaving the cult and being happy ~ this joy will not last long ~

Blue spruces lip the edge of the valley, cusp him in a dewy blue haze. The waxing gibbous moon still stings the sky, its muted glow rivalled by the sunlight that seeps through the trees ahead of him, still too low on the horizon to create a prickle of warmth. Coneflowers and columbines bristle in the grass. Asher’s suitcase snags in the overgrown foliage, beaded with dew. The suitcase has slowed him down, and he doesn’t know if he’s being followed, if someone saw him leave, and for some reason, he doesn’t care.

If they catch him, they’ll drown him. Leaving is the worst sin, worse than murder. He’s known this since he was young. And now that he’s here, in a field he doesn’t recognize, under a breeze that gauzes his curls into his face, the guilt sinks to nothing. If they catch him, he can still run.

general wip taglist (ask to be added or removed) : @gracestowewriting @flip-phones @shaelinwrites @chewingthescenery @august-iswriting @dallonswords @wildswrites @nodeadnarrators @annlillyjose @shaonharryandpannisim @letsgetsquiggly @strangerays @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @teaandtypewriters @kahaaniyaa @coffeeandcalligraphy @47crayons @writing-is-a-martial-art @familiarvillain @bookdragonfanish @childhoodlovers @finch-goes-tweet @zoya-writes @pepperdee @oceancold

[rahleeyah]

Okay I may have taken this assignment a little too seriously. Full credit goes to the tumblr for EO Fanfiction. They had a box account of many of these old stories that wouldn’t open on mobile, but I was able to open on my desktop and preserve them. I’ll link just a few at a time so as not to overwhelm everyone. Most of them are multi-chapter stories so hopefully will take a while for people to get through. Side note, these are all linked PDFs because I do not think they are posted anywhere else. I got permission from the authors to share, and maybe they will repost them eventually:

Mousie962 – these are great and more on the lighthearted side of angst. I always loved the insight and playful side she captured of these two detectives, and her world building always slaughtered me. Olivia can’t stand air conditioning; Elliot loves salt-water taffy and she famously had Casey observe that, “She’s been friends with Elliot and Olivia long enough to know they argue. It doesn’t have to be significant, it doesn’t have to last long, but it has to happen at least once a day.”

SYRUP – one shot about Elliot and Olivia working a case in Long Island. Hilarity ensues. Charming and fluffy. Good for a palate cleanse from angst! Set during Elliot and Kathy’s separation S6-8 sometime.

QUESTIONS – "So, have you had any orgasms lately?" Post ep for Intoxicated. Elliot and Olivia get to know one another through a series of questions.

SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL – UGH, a masterpiece. Olivia goes on a charity date with the devil himself, Trevor Langan, and discovers a friendship she would have never seen coming. I promise it’s an EO story and a fantastic one at that.

WILD HORSES – follow up to SYMPATHY and it’s just as brilliant and wonderful and I love it so much. Established EO.

MaddyM – always angsty and a bit dark but she’s such a romantic she will never NOT make it better in the end. Atlantis is the biggie and I made a big mistake never reading it before now, but it’s very long so tackle that one when you are ready to settle in for a week.

ROPES – Elliot and Olivia get sent to a Ropes course to try and repair their partnership.

EYE SEX – a running joke that blew up into a mini-fic. Just filth, lol.

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS – she was really ahead of her time. Elliot and Olivia in Vegas at Munch’s wedding. Too bad Fin’s wedding didn’t turn out this way.

[moonstruckwytch]

43

43. are you an avid reader?



i am absolutely an avid reader. both of fanfic and original fiction as well as nonfiction. i’ve got certain style preferences, but overall if you put it in front of me i’ll read it. my tbr list on goodreads is 225 books long, and that’s just what i’ve remembered to add. i’m constantly in the middle of multiple books at once, especially because school often cuts into my reading time, and things i want to read have to be set aside in favor of working.

i’m currently actively reading the following:

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - a sci fi epistolary romance between two agents on opposite sides of a time war. it’s queer, and the style is wonderfully declarative and succinct. i’m only a couple chapters in so far but it’s fabulous. was recommended to me by my harry potter phenomenon course professor, whose opinion i value greatly

The Body, a Guide For Occupants by Bill Bryson - a nonfiction exploration of the human body, from a cellular level upwards and outwards. dry humor, witty beyond belief, full of weird facts to text your friends and make them ask “cori, what the fuck, why do you know that?” for example: did you know that our bodies don’t have wetness receptors on most of our skin? we rely on temperature cues to let us know, which is why sitting down on something cold often feels like sitting on something wet. it’s wild. i’ve been meaning to read some of Bryson’s work for a while now, and this seems like a good one to start with. i’m also looking forward to digging into his books on other subjects.

Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? and Other Questions About Dead Bodies by Caitlin Doughty - this is actually my second read through of this & it’s for a purpose. i’m annotating it to pass off to a friend, in a weird sort of informal asynchronous book club we’re doing. it’s a casual walkthrough of questions kids have asked california-based mortician Caitlin Doughty and her answers. Doughty is a personal hero of mine, and her writing is sharp, witty, and conversational in all the right ways. i was exposed to her through her youtube channel Ask A Mortician, and reading her writing feels incredibly similar to watching her videos in the best way. though the book is written in answer to children’s questions i think it’s great for all ages - lighthearted but still serious it’s a great intro to conversations about death for those who aren’t entirely on the Death Positivity train the way i am. i’ll stop rambling about her now because i could talk for hours - feel free to message me or shoot another ask if you’re curious for more about her and her work

things i’ve read this year i’ve enjoyed:

The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune - oh so cute gay romance between a social worker for magical children and the caretaker of a remote magical orphanage that houses the strangest assortment of children. LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT

Harry Potter 1-5 by she who i revile and will not name - took a course on the series impact on society in a literary and social sense. was supposed to read all the books. only managed to get through 5 before the rest of my course load swamped me. will probably launch a full reread through soonish, once i get through the 26 other books i want to finish in 2021 (lol as if cori)

Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass - read today, hugely atmospheric, lovely portrayal of draco and harry, they’re both idiots and they’re in love and it’s just really wonderful to sink your teeth into

The Ordeal of Being Known, and its sequel The Rewards of Being Loved by @lou-isfake - read a few weeks ago and have not stopped thinking about since. rich world, beautiful relationship build. competent yet anxious draco, magically powerful harry, it’s all there. and the writing... oof. lou makes me want to be a better writer myself

Telling the Bees by @cibeewastaken - yes i know how it’s tagged i promise it is worth it it’s so lovely i keep revisiting the last bit for how harry confesses to draco. it’s just. wow. just trust me on this one

there are literally so many more fics i could tag or rec but i will limit myself to the 3 (4) i have here because this is already too long and all you wanted to know was if i read, not what i’m reading or recommendations. i hope you check some of them out anyway, and i hope you enjoy them if you do. in another life i’m most certainly studying to be a librarian, and that impulse takes over sometimes, oops?

ask me questions from this list!

[fireemblems24]

Verdant Wind: Chapter 17

First off, it's weird only doing two routes this time, since SS skips over this chapter, and I'm not going back to CF until all the final chapters are ready.

Below's all my thoughts about VW's take on Gronder Field. 😭I was not ready. OMG. How could you do this to me?

Pre-Battle:

Oh dear, God, no, Hilda. Is this Fog of War?

I picked "I'm worried" for Byleth, but it's not for the reasons Claude thinks. It's because I know Dimitri's coming (it's clearly setting up Battle of Eagle and Lion Round 2), and I'm betting he's not doing so hot.

Oh, shit, yep, here he is. I'm not ready for this guys.

It wouldn't make sense to "kill" Dimitri, just to bring him back and kill him for real a second later though.

I'm clinging to that. But I still don't feel good.

It is kind of pathetic that Dimitri has a more interesting plot in VW than Claude so far.

Oh, crap, everyone's here. Mercedes, Dedue, and Bernie. Do I have to kill them? I'm going to avoid killing whoever I can. So much for "kill 'em all - I am pathetic. Except Hubert lol. I love the guy, but I don't feel bad taking him out.

OK - but like Dedue and Mercie? They are too precious to have fun with "kill em all." And Bernie was so sweet after Jeralt's death that I feel bad.

At the same time . . . Killing them all . . . could be fun.

But Dedue and Mercie 😭And then I feel bad excluding Bernie.

I wonder if my dancer!Felix can fight Dimitri. I'll make sure Claude fights both lords, but I'm curious to see if Felix and Dimitri get unique dialogue.

What if I said - I don't want to defeat Dimitri - but the game said - defeat all enemy commanders 😭

Ohh - cut scene! God, it's been forever.

Edelgard fire bombing everyone. Dimitri getting revenge for the dead. Nothing's changed.

Seriously, Edelgard? She's like "we were classmates, but not today" and looks so sad. Like, girl, you caused all this.

I'm kind of annoyed at how she always feels so sorry for herself, not going to lie. I don't mind the characterization, but just it's always so focused on her and never her victims. But I feel this is my annoyance with CF bleeding through.

Which makes me wonder how I'd feel about her if I played this game one route after the next.

"Kill every last one of them!" - Chris Hackeny is a gem.

Imagine how shocking that is if you didn't play AM. I'd probably quit right there and see wtf happened, since all the Kingdom drama + Dimitri's Disney death + mysterious reappearance with a totally new attitude and sexy eyepatch would just be too much.

I feel so bad for Claude though. I've spent more time talking about Edelgard and Dimitri than him. But they both get such interesting in-character stuff, and he's like "man this class reunion sucks." Only Byleth got less stuff.

OK - Edelgard got some points back with her chaotic warfare and smarts trying to block the Kingdom and Alliance.

Battle Thoughts:

I've got a million fliers on this team, and Bernie's range is just too long. I think I'm going to just have to kill her.

Eh, whatever. Let's kill them all.

Hubert doesn't think much of my strategy.

Dimitri's not holding back here. It makes it really clear how far he's actually come in AM seeing him in VW like this.

Lysithea nuked Dedue and he . . . retreated? Does Dedue get to live? 😭😭😭

Dimitri's "Shut up and retreat. You must live, Dedue." after Dedue insists on fighting 😭😭😭Again - even at his absolute worst, Dimitri always gives Dedue special treatment.

HOLY SHIT - Edelgard just lit Bernie on fire. Oh my God. Guess that means I'm killing her :(

LAMO - Claude crit Edelgard. Kinda deserves it after that.

Now to have him (and Felix) fight Dimitri. If they can. Apparently Dimitri can one-shot Ignatz (that was one use of Divine Pulse).

Can anybody explain why Dimitri gets the "effective against" warning against literally every unit??

It's too bad Dimitri and Claude don't just team up. The situation feels kinda forced, but it makes sense given Dimitri's state of mind. Still feels like the game is just forcing "no two lords for you!"

WTF is this? Dimitri's even got effectiveness against an infantry dancer.

So Dimitri told Felix he's not worthy and to get out of his sight. Then Felix crit Dimitri and told HIM to get out of HIS sight. No unique dialogue though. 😭😭

OK guys, I spared Mercie. I . . . just couldn't. Dedue got nuked but retreated? And Bernie got set on fire AND had a droppable Brave Bow. Sorry.

So . . . Did Dimitri retreat or die?

Post Battle Thoughts:

Oh, shit. Hilda's "I saw him" doesn't sound good.

Well that sucks.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

They really brought Dimitri back to life, only to kill him off two seconds later. It might be my Dimitri bias coming through, but that seems . . . kinda pointless tbh.

At least he's getting sympathetic treatment 😭😭😭

Dedue lived and he's all alone 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Why is it that Kingdom characters seem like they're getting a better story than poor Claude?

Lysithea's story is more interesting than Claude's 😭😭😭 Poor girl had it rough. Fuck the Empire.

Aww, Lorenz is the first one who said he'd follow Claude.

I love how on VW, Leonie and Raphael realize that the Empire's actions are a threat to the things they want to protect, but in CF they'll just toss that all into the wind because professor power.

Aww, Marianne's "I'll fight too." 😊😊😊I needed that after the drama with Dimitri and Dedue.

Why do we never get to see Holst??

Oh - so that's why Lysithea held off on her A-Support. It was waiting for that stuff with the mages.

Judith is so hot. I'm still mad I can't use her in battle.

All I need to take Fort Merceus is Dimitri - oh wait.

Is this the best the game could come up with for Claude's "schemes?" They dress up as Imperial soldiers and just walk in?

VW's tone feels too lighthearted for this game (esp after Dimitri 😭😭😭) , but at the same time it's a nice breather.

[celiabowens]

Book recommendations, Literary Fiction edition(?)

A companion to this post (which should be updated, at some point lol)

Short Story Collections: 

Salt Slow by Julia Armfield: grotesque and disquieting collection about women and their experience in society, how they view and perceive their own body and desires. Pretty strong mythic, magical realism, body horror elements in here.

The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales by Oliver Sacks: fascinating collection in which Sacks reminishes some particularly odd stories of patients who had to cope with bizarre neurological disorders.

Home Remedies by Xuan Juliana Wang: a collection focused on the Chinese millennial experience. Stories about love and loss, family, immigration and the uncertainty of the future. (also there’s an extremely beautiful short story about a pair of Chinese divers that broke me forever!!!)

Bestiary: The Selected Stories by Julio Cortázar: unforgettable selection of short stories that mix surreal elements to everyday life and apparently ordinary events. Would also recommend All Fires the Fire by the same author.

Novels:

How Much of These Hills is Gold by C. Pam Zhang: one of the biggest debuts of 2020, it follows two recently orphaned children through the gold rush era. An adventurous historical fiction piece that focuses on themes like gender, identity and immigration, this is one of my favorites 2020 reads so yeah, I’d really push it in anyone’s hands to be honest.

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent: historical fiction inspired by the last days of a young woman accused of murder in Iceland in the 1820s. A quite bleak, but beautiful novel (the prose is stunning).

The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave: historical fiction novel set in Norway in the 17th century, following the lives of a group of women in a village that recently (barely) survived a storm that killed all of the island’s men. 

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead: the 2020 winner of the Pulitzer Prize. The book follows the lives of two boys sentenced to a reform school in Jim Crow-era Florida. A bleak, but important book, with a shocking final twist (side note, I’ve been recommended The Underground Railroad by Whitehead as well, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. If you’re looking for something quite peculiar, if a bit less refined when compared to The Nickel Boys, The Intuitionist is a quite odd pulpy noir set in an alternate NY about...elevator inspectors *and racism*). 

The Leavers by Lisa Ko: haunting book about identity and immigration as the main character is apparently abandoned by his own mother (an undocumented Chinese immigrant) during his childhood. Mainly a story about living in between places and constantly feeling out of place. 

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa: when everyone would probably recommend Murakami (not much against Murakami besides his descriptions of women and their boobs), I suggest checking out some of Ogawa’s books. The recently translated The Memory Police, published in Japan in the mid 90s, is an orwellian dystopian novel set on an unnamed Island where memories slowly disappear. Would also really recommend The Housekeeper and The Professor, a really short novel about a housekeeper hired to clean and cook for a math professor who suffered an injury that causes him to remember new things for only 80 minutes. 

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong: Ocean Vuong’s debut novel, following a son writing a letter to his illiterate mother. The book seems quite polarising due to Vuong’s writing style (his poetry background is really quite clear and the book doesn’t really follow a regular narrative, rather than portrays events and memories in brief flashes), but I loved it and I’d really just recommend going into it without knowing much? It’s a beautiful exploration of language, family history, trauma, sexuality and more.

Exist West by Mohsin Hamid: this book was fairly popular when it came out (in 2017 I believe) and was often incorrectly marketed as magical realism. Hamid’s book is a brief and quietly brutal journey with a few fantastical elements, following a couple trying to escape their city in the middle of war, as they hear about peculiar doors that can whisk people far away. The doors are, of course, a quite effective metaphor for the immigrant experience and the book does a great job at portraying the main characters’ relationship. 

Family Trust by Kathy Wang: this has a really low rating on goodreads which...wow i hate that. Family Trust is a literary family saga/drama about a Chinese-American family residing in the Silicon Valley. It’s often been compared to Crazy Rich Asians, but I believe it to be more on the literary side and definitely less lighthearted. 

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee: historical family saga (one of my favorites tbh, I’m absolutely biased, but this book deserved more hype) set in Korea and Japan throughout the 20th century, following four generations of a Korean family. While I wasn’t the biggest fan of the prose, the book has really great characterisation and absolutely fascinating characters. (I’d suggest checking out eventual TW first, in this case). 

The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker: another recent read, The Silence of the Girls, while not faultless, is a pretty good retelling of The Iliad, narrated through Briseis’ perspective. The prose can feel a bit too modern at times, but it provides the reader with some really strong quotes and descriptions. 

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: and also Little Fires Everywhere by the same author, to be honest. If you’re looking for really really good family dramas, with great explorations of rather complex and nuanced relationships? You should just check out her stuff. Vibrant characters, good writing, and some superb portrayal of longing here. 

Nutshell by Ian McEwan: i’m starting with this one only to grab your attention (if you’ve even reached this part lol, congrats), but McEwan’s one of my favorite authors and I’d recommend almost everything I’ve read by him? Nutshell, specifically, is a really odd and fun retelling of Hamlet...told from the pov of an unborn baby. But really, I’d also recommend Atonement (of course), The Children Act, Amsterdam? All good stuff. 

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles: I’ve read this book this summer and, while I’m still unsatisfied with the ending, I’d thoroughly recommend this? The novel follows Count Alexander Rostov, who, in 1922, is sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest in the Metropol, a luxurious hotel in the center of Moscow. A singular novel, funny and heartbreaking at once, following a vibrant cast of characters as they come and go from Rostov’s secluded life. 

Human Acts by Han Kang: from the bestselling author of The Vegetarian (which honestly, I thoroughly despised lol), Human Acts focuses on the South Korean Gwangju uprising. It’s a really odd (and at times grotesque) experimental novel (one chapter is narrated from the pov of one of the bodies if I remember correctly), so one really has to be in the mood for it, but it’s a really unique experience, worth a chance.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon: sort of a really chunky historical adventure novel following two artists in 1940s/1950s NY, who create a superhero and use him to wage a one man war on the Nazis. A bit slow in places (the pace can be uneven at times and the book is quite long), but an enjoyable novel that does a pretty good job when it comes to exploring rather classic themes of American contemporary fiction: the American dream and the figure of the artist (I think there’s a particularly interesting focus on how the artists navigates the corporate world and its rules) and their creative process.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel: this is a pretty classic rec, the book really got a lot of hype when it came out? It’s a dystopian-ish novel set after civilisation’s collapse, following a post-apocalyptic troupe (of Shakespearean actors). It’s a really odd, but surprisingly quiet book. Not sure if a pandemic is exactly the right time to read it, but I thoroughly recommend it. 

The Garden of Evening Mists by Tan Twan Eng: I feel like this book is extremely complex to summarise to be honest. In short, it’s a book set in Malaya at the end of the 1940s, following a woman who, after surviving Japanese wartime camps, spends her life prosecuting war criminals. But truthfully this book is about conflicts and contradictions and in particular about remembering and forgetting. Lovely prose. 

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: and also The Goldfinch. I’m sure no one really needs me to introduce Donna Tartt?

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton: quite cerebral mystery set in New Zealand in 1866. Honestly you have to be a patient reader who enjoys novels with a pretty complex structure to like this, but if you’re into this sort of challenging read...go for it? It’s a book of interlocking stories (with 10+ pov and main characters) with a really fascinating structure based on astrological charts, which provide insight to the main characters’ traits and personality as the mystery unfolds.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham: ok...do not watch the movie first. The Hours is an incredibly difficult novel to describe to be honest: it begins by recalling the last moments of Virginia Woolf’s life, as she’s writing Mrs. Dalloway. The book focuses on three separate narratives, each one following a specific character throughout a single day of their own life. Goes without saying that I’d suggest being familiar with Mrs. Dalloway itself first though.

An Artists of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro: not one of Ishiguro’s most famous works (most start reading his work with Never Let Me Go or The Remains of the Day), but probably my favorite out of those I’ve read so far. The novel follows  Masuji Ono, an artist who put his work in service of imperialist propaganda throughout WWII. Basically a reflection and an account of the artist’s life as he deals with the culpability of his previous actions. 

Stoner by John Williams: I feel like this is an odd book to recommend, because I don’t think someone can truly get the hype unless they read it themselves. Stoner is a pretty straight-forward book, following the ordinary life of an even more ordinary man. And yet it’s so compelling and never dull in its exploration of the characters’ lives and personalities. Also, I’ve just finished Augustus by the same author, which is an epistolary historical fiction novel narrating some of the main events of Augustus’ reign through letters from/by his closest friends and enemies. Really liked it. 

Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien: back to integenerational family sagas (because I love those, in case it wasn’t clear lol), Do Not Say We Have Nothing follows a young woman who suddenly rediscovers her family’s fractured past. The novel focuses on two successive generations of a Chinese family through China’s 20th century history. While not every character got the type of development they deserved, the author does a good job when it comes to gradually recreating the family’s complex and nuanced history. 

There’s probably more but I doubt anyone’s going to reach the end or anything so. There’s that lol.

[daggery]

Jesper for the ask game??

first impression: iconic “spell forgive me in bullets on your chest” quote. when i read soc i always notice how he has the least main character-y introduction imo. in his first scene he’s mostly there to make it more lighthearted and show the bond btwn the dregs. he stands out more than the minor characters, but he wasn’t the pov character like inej and he didn’t stand out the way kaz obviously did so i hadn’t immediately recognized him as a main character. i don’t think this is a bad thing though and when i realized he was a main character i was really pleased because he seemed like a fun character

impression now: i just? think he’s good? i mean. he’s GOOD. something something he’s a criminal something something HE’S SO GOOD. like his conversation with inej near the end of CK directly followed by him going to talk with his dad to tell him the truth. he wants to be a good person, he wants to take care and protect his friends and family, he’s trying and he’s struggling and. i love him so so SO much. on the list of soc characters i really want to give a hug to he’s somewhere up there. also he wears lime green and lemon yellow together because he can and i adore him for that too. asks for an explosives guy on every job. ate a literal trough of waffles in apple syrup because he was dared to. not just girls! gonna get wylan’s ghost to teach his ghost to play the flute to annoy kaz. that’s why we call him wylan van sunshine. his iconic moments are limitless (just like my love for him) (the audience groans)

favorite moment: as always there are always so many but right now i’m going to go with all his moments with colm because i’ve been thinking about them recently, and his relationship with his parents in general. “i’m dying anyway, da. i’m just doing it slow.” jesper feels so much guilt but also anger because colm tried to protect him but wound up hurting him but above all jesper and colm care for and love each other so deeply and i!!!!! 😭 i love love. also going to mention when he talked about the oil market for a whole hour to stall the merchers because lmfao. for show jesper the first one i think of is when he shoots the card in inej’s mouth in order to join the performance troupe. when i watched that, i just Felt So Much at that moment. also the scene where he beats ivan

idea for a story: idk exactly but i do have some general things i think would be fun to see. i would love to read thoughts about an au where kaz and jesper are university friends. i would also love an au where kaz and jesper are farm boy friends. i have no idea how that would come about but i’d like it lol. misc kaz&wylan&jesper crimes but make it funny, because of that one part in rule of wolves where wylan said something about kaz only ever showing up at their house when he wanted them to do something illegal. also jesper using his powers more!! in rule of wolves, iirc, zoya mentions how the materialki work around wesper’s house was amateurish meaning jesper’s been experimenting and practicing, so idk that would be good to explore!!

unpopular opinion: i have only ever seen ppl gush over this scene so im standing here like 🧍‍♂️ is it just me. am i being dumb. but i have mixed feelings about the goat in the show when it comes to jesper. it was amusing and it was cute. but when the crows crossed the fold, jesper freaking out and yelling “so this is how i’m going to die?” while needing to hug the "emotional support goat” to calm down felt jarring and out of character. sentence 1 of chapter 11 in six of crows: “jesper always felt better when people were shooting at him.” he thrives when he’s in danger! it makes him focus! that’s like half the point of his later character development.

at first it felt like the entire bit with jesper needing an emotional support goat was there for comic relief and to intentionally turn it into a big fandom meme at the expense of jesper’s characterization. like the fact that ppl are saying things like "the conductor knew that jesper would panic in near-death situations so he specially brought along a goat lol" ??? but like, would jesper?? would he????? but thankfully the scene turned out ok bc he did his badass volcra shooting thing. the way im choosing to read that is that he’s just dramatic and wanted to scream about how he’s gonna die before he saved the day. i love the huge grin he has when they clear the fold and he goes to sit back down.

but fandom still latched onto the goat thing. which like, emotional support goat = good! if petting and hugging the goat makes jesper happy, good!! but it still reminds me of the Bad Feelings i had about jesper’s characterization in that fold scene so i’m still going keep insistently pointing to six of crows chapter 11 sentence 1

favorite relationship: INEJ JESPER BEST FRIENDS BEST FRIENDS BEST FRIENDS. they are so good and i am so happy that the show gave us so much new content for them pre-SOC, and whenever i see inesper fanart i get so happy. also height difference. hc tallest crow and smallest crow!! they’re just bffs i don’t know what else to tell you. and wesper of course <3333 lol i’m on a jesper&inej&kaz kick right now because of s&b, but i can’t wait for wylan to show up

favorite headcanon: wesper and kuwei become friends after crooked kingdom! maybe three or four years after CK, they bump into each other again and at first it’s an awkward Haha glad to see you’re not dead because last time we saw each other we all almost died and also wylan threatened to push kuwei into the canal because kuwei kept hitting on his boyfriend Or Whatever Situation, but slowly over time they all become closer. it’s a chill, slowly growing friendship type of thing where one day, years later, they’ve just naturally become true friends who can confide and trust in one another. idk the details, i just think they should be friends!!!! they’re invited to each others’ weddings. ALSO give him earrings. he’s a hot bitch who deserves earrings

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Reunions & Resistance

A JSE Fanfic

This one took me a while, but luckily, I was able to get it all done within the week, and do a lot of my homework too lol. Can’t wait for summer break, man. More time for writing. Anyway, a lot happened last chapter, and we’re mostly following up on that. I don’t want to say too much in case people haven’t read the last one, but basically we switch in between Chase and JJ’s points of view to see how they’re dealing with their respective...challenges. Hope you enjoy!

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

“Good night! I’ll see you later!” Chase stood on his front door and waved as the car pulled away from the side of the road. In the windows, a pair of small faces pressed up against the glass and waved back. Chase kept at it even as the car drove down the street, right up until the moment it disappeared around a corner. At which point he dropped his hand and turned around to head inside, smiling softly to himself. Halloween wasn’t his favorite holiday, but this? This was a good holiday.

He turned on the front room lights and was about to sit down when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Quickly, he dug it out to see a text from Marvin: Hey call me now please!

Perfect timing. Once he got settled in, he was planning on calling Marvin anyway, to tell him the good news. He guessed he could do it now. Quickly navigating to his contacts, he called Marvin’s number.

The other end was picked up on the first ring. “Chase!” Marvin said.

“Hi Marv. Are you out of court by now? You better be, it’s late.” He glanced out the window at the twilight sky. They ended up only going trick-or-treating for an hour, but the kids were still young and Stacy was worried, so it was fine. They’d go longer next time. “How’d it go?”

“Good, but Chase, there’s a thing—”

“So you won?”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant, but Chase!” Wait a second...Marvin sounded...frantic. “Have you seen JJ today?”

“Huh? No, not yet. I was gonna go over later. I was actually thinking about asking you if you’d seen him today. I expected you to rush right over after you got out.”

“I wanted to stop by home and pick up his present first,” Marvin explained. “So I did, and I went to his flat, but he’s not here.”

“That’s not too weird, is it?” Chase asked, wandering over to sit on the sofa. “Maybe he went out for dinner or something, it is his birthday, after all.”

“Maybe, but he would’ve told us, right? He knew that we were going to stop by.” Chase could hear the sound of Marvin’s nervous footsteps on a hardwood floor. “I’m still at his place, and the only thing that’s different is there’s these weird cupcakes on the counter. So maybe he did go out, but he has to have been here since then to drop them off, if that’s the case. I texted him a couple times, but he hasn’t answered any of them! There’s not even the little ‘Seen’ message popping up.”

“Whoa, Marvin, calm down a bit,” Chase said gently. “He’s probably just...maybe his phone is out of battery?”

“I don’t think so. He likes to keep it fully charged. Even has one of those portable battery things. Chase, it’s really weird that he’s not here,” Marvin insisted.

“Well, yeah, but there has to be an innocent explanation, right?” Chase wasn’t too sure himself, but he had to get Marvin to stop freaking out. He could hear faint thumping sounds on the other end now. “Are you hitting yourself? Marv, be careful, that could bruise.”

“R-right.” The thumping sounds changed, now more like knocking on a wall. Marvin’s breathing was shaky. “Should we call the police? I really don’t think he’d be gone, especially not today.”

“You can call them if you’re sure. Or I can, if you don’t want to talk.”

“Right. Right. I-I’ll text him one more time, just in case.”

There were a few moments of silence as Marvin took his phone away from his ear and started texting. Chase waited patiently, slightly amazed that Marvin’s phone could stay on a call while he needed to use it. He must have a more advanced model.

“Wha...?” Marvin made a small, confused sound. Then, after a slight pause: “Chase, his phone is here. JJ’s phone is here.”

“Well, no wonder he hasn’t been answering texts, then,” Chase said, trying to sound lighthearted.

“No no no, Chase, he wouldn’t leave his phone here if he was going out! He uses that text-to-speech app for people who don’t know BSL. A-and I can see his usual notepad on the coffee table, he didn’t take that either. He wouldn’t risk leaving both of those at home when he goes out!”

Chase’s heart slowly sank into a sea of dread. It was true; Jameson always made sure he had a backup way of communicating in case he ran into someone who couldn’t understand him. “The only way he would do that...” he said quietly. “...is if...either it was an emergency, or if someone...”

“I’m going to call the police now Chase!” Marvin practically shouted.

“Dude, do it! I’m hanging up right now!” And Chase did just that, ending the call.

It couldn’t be true, could it? Something couldn’t have happened to Jameson, right? He didn’t have any enemies or—

No. Wait.

“Shit!” Chase cursed. He was an idiot! The day had been going so well, he’d completely forgotten about Anti. He would certainly count as an enemy, even if he was Jameson’s brother. Maybe especially. Chase quickly sent a text to Marvin. WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED. Yo don thin kit could be that anti guy??.? Tell the police that too!

“God damn you,” Chase growled. “Fucking...Anti.” He’d never even met him, but he just kept making his and his friends’ lives hell, didn’t he? For over a year, now.

Would this ever end? Or would this cycle continue?

——————

Someone was driving a chisel into his head with a hammer. That’s what it felt like. His head was pounding, and each new spike of pain could have easily been in time with the smack of a hammer. He couldn’t even move, the headache was too overwhelming, tears leaking from his closed eyes. The moment it started to lessen up, he quietly drifted off to sleep.

Then, of course, he woke up with his head still hurting. But this time it was bearable. Still awful, but he managed to open his eyes.

This...wasn’t his room. This wasn’t his apartment. Nor was it a room in any of his friends’ houses. He didn’t recognize the pale yellow wall he was staring at, or the white blanket covering him. Slowly, he rolled onto his back, not wanting to make any sudden movement in case it aggravated his headache, but he didn’t see the ceiling. Instead, he saw wooden slats and the bottom of a mattress. A bunk bed? He didn’t know anyone who had a bunk bed. Where was he? Actually, what had happened before he ended up here? He cast his mind back, and—

Instantly, Jameson sat straight up, hitting his forehead against the oddly close bottom of the bunk above him. Crying out, he fell back and rubbed the spot of impact. That definitely didn’t help the headache.

Movement. Coming from the bunk above him, it sounded like, accompanied by creaking and the sound of fabric on fabric. “Wh-who’s down there?” A voice asked. “Are you—you’re awake?”

Actually, that voice sounded familiar. JJ pushed away the blankets and rolled over to the side of the mattress. He grabbed the headboard to help him stand up, since he felt strangely dizzy. Once up, he transferred his grip to the edge of the top bunk, pausing a moment to stop swaying. Then he looked up at the person on the top bunk.

“Wait a second. Jameson?! That’s you?!” It took JJ a moment to recognize Jackie, but once he did, he gasped. It had been almost a year since he’d last seen him, and in that time period, he’d changed a lot. Now he was a lot paler, his hair grown to shoulder-length, and his red hoodie was significantly darker, apparently not having been washed in a while. Jackie was holding onto the railings that surrounded the edge of the top bunk, dangerously leaning over. There was a metal cuff around one wrist, a length of chain connecting it to another cuff attached to one of the railings.

JJ slowly nodded, letting go of the bed to finger-sign. J-A-C-K-I-E?

“Oh my god. You too?! Why don’t we get everyone in here?! Fucking...Kidnapped party with the boys, hey-o!” Jackie laughed hysterically. 

...Are you okay? JJ asked.

“Well, uh, relatively, I guess. I’m not, like, actively hurt or anything.” Jackie pressed a hand against his head. “Killer headache, though. You too?” JJ nodded. “Great. Fantastic. Probably from whatever drugs he used. Are you okay? What the hell are you doing here?!”

I’m fine. But it’s a long story. JJ looked around the room. The walls were all painted pale yellow. No windows, but he thought a square on the wall looked a bit different, so maybe the window had been bricked up and painted over. The bunk beds weren’t the only furniture. There was also a white wooden dresser and a similar-looking table, along with two chairs. A corner of the room had a mini fridge and several cabinets that looked like they belonged in a kitchen. There were two doors. One, open, led to an attached bathroom. The other door was closed. Though he knew it was probably a waste of time, JJ walked over there, staggering a bit with the dizziness, and tried the doorknob. Locked, of course. Do you know where we are? He signed, turning around to face Jackie.

“Where we are? No, sorry.” Jackie shook his head. “I’ve been held hostage in a couple different places by now, and this isn’t any of the previous ones. Or maybe it is. It could be in that first house, just in a room I didn’t get to see. But, uh. Yeah. We’ve probably been asleep for a while, judging by his usual style. So there’s no way of knowing.” He paused. “You, uh. Seem weirdly calm about this.”

I'm saving the emotional breakdown for later and looking for a way out now, JJ said, then idly tried the door again. He leaned down to look more closely at the knob. It looked normal. No loose screws when he shook it or anything.

“Oh.” Jackie paused. “Well then, fair enough, but I mean. You haven’t even asked who kidnapped you or why I’m here or what’s going on. Just where we are. I was expecting a bunch more questions.”

Well I already know all those, so I only wanted to know where. JJ tried to peer through the gap of the door. Weren’t there some locks that could be worked around if you slid something through there? Idly, he patted his pockets despite knowing there probably wouldn’t be anything in there. But then he had to stop. He didn’t have any pockets. What? Impossible. He looked down at his clothes, and noticed for the first time that they didn’t belong to him. Blue T-shirt, black pants, white socks. Strangely, he still had his pocket watch, now hanging around his neck. Also I want to know where my clothes are.

“Man, he gave you new clothes? Lucky,” Jackie said jokingly. “But anyway.” He returned to being serious. “What do you mean, you already know? That is what you said, right? You can’t already know everything.”

JJ turned around. Jackie wasn’t as knowledgeable in BSL as all the others, given how he’d been abducted before he could become fluent, so he signed slowly, finger-spelling occasionally. I know I’ve been taken by a man calling himself Anti, and that he took you back in December and Henrik in August. He’s a mercenary who has apparently started kidnapping and serial killing as a hobby. He made Henrik help him with some of that, and now Henrik is in a mental hospital because of all the trauma combined with previous issues. And I know Anti isn’t going to kill me.

That was a lot, and Jackie went silent for a bit as he processed it. “Well. Okay, then. You actually know more than I do.”

JJ tried to smile, then walked over to the dresser and started pulling open its drawers. More clothes, similar to what he was already wearing. No shoes, only socks. Jackie. Do you think you could get down from there, or are you stuck?

“Uh...I think I’m stuck, but honestly, I haven’t tried yet,” Jackie mumbled. “I woke up like. A few minutes ago. Oh hey, there’s a clock on the wall! That’s new. Man, this is the nicest place I’ve been captive in yet. Hang on, I’m gonna see if this chain is long enough to let me get down.”

The ladder to the top bunk was over at the foot of the bed, while Jackie was cuffed to the railing near the head. He crawled over, managing to put his feet on the top rung. But that’s where it got difficult. Spinning around, he could only reach the middle rung before he had to stop, arm yanked taunt to the side. “Yeah, no. Sorry, JJ.” He climbed back to the top bunk, sitting once again at the top of the ladder.

It’s alright, JJ said, frowning. But I can see several complications with that.

“Oh yeah, trust me, it all sucks,” Jackie sighed. “Uh...so. How do you know Anti isn’t going to kill you? I mean, honestly, I’m still not so sure that I’m...um...” He suddenly looked uncomfortable, and more than a bit scared. “A-anyway, you seemed like you definitely knew.”

JJ sighed. He walked over to the chairs at the table and sat down, taking a break to press his hands to his throbbing head. He should probably tell Jackie, right? After all, he’d told Chase and Marvin. And it would be good for them all to be on the same page. Anti is my brother, he explained.

“What?! Like, biologically? For real?”

Yes, unfortunately. He’s my older brother, I lived with him for seven years. Well, technically longer, if you count when we were kids, before we were put into the system. But I mean, he practically raised me from sixteen. Jameson paused. He wasn’t good at it.

“I can imagine,” Jackie muttered. “Wow. Wow, man. That...that sucks.”

Jameson nodded. I thought I’d never see him again, but then he appeared in this city, got involved with all of you, and...I guess it was only a matter of time before he...realized who I was. But I hoped...He squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden wetness in them. I hoped that this wouldn’t happen.

“Wait, did you know he was going to kidnap you if he found you?”

No, but I knew it was a possibility. JJ laughed quietly. That really says something about the kind of person he is, doesn’t it?

Jackie shook his head slowly. “I’m...so sorry, Jameson. Is there anything I can do?”

Jameson thought about that. Well, we need to get out of here. I know it’s going to be difficult, but if there’s anything you can do...

“Right.” Jackie glanced down at his cuffed wrist, then nodded. “Right. H-how about I start with...telling you everything I’ve noticed about him? Maybe if we know how he acts, that’ll help.”

That sounds like a great idea. It had been three years since he’d seen Anti, after all. A lot could change in that time. And I’ll tell you what I remember.

“Pool our information,” Jackie said. He took a deep breath. “Right. Okay, so to start from the beginning...”

——————

A day passed. The police looked over Jameson’s apartment, finding nothing suspicious. Marvin identified everything in the rooms as belonging to JJ except for the cupcakes in the plastic packaging, with their blue frosting. Normally, the police probably would’ve dismissed them, but once Marvin explained the situation—namely, that JJ was part of the friend group that included Dr. Schneeplestein and a missing private detective named Jackie Donovan, both of whom had been proven to have been kidnapped—they decided to run tests on them.

Two days passed. Chase finally got around to explaining the good news he’d received earlier on Halloween to Marvin. That cheered him up briefly, but he was quickly overcome with worry for JJ again. And Chase felt that same worry threatening to engulf him as well. Especially after the detectives contacted them both and said that the strange cupcakes had definitely been laced with illegal sedatives: namely, the strong, but slow-acting, variety. That pushed them to label the case as a definite abduction, with this strange Anti as the main suspect. The same detectives that were working on Jackie’s case took this one, as well, since it was so likely to be linked.

Four days passed. Marvin wasn’t doing so well. Chase was newly busy, but he made sure to check on him. A good thing he did, too, because there were a couple times when he walked in the house and Marvin was just lying in bed, clearly been there since he woke up that morning, often with a cat or two nearby and a bunch of tearstained tissues. Chase wasn’t one to miss the irony of the situation, having been in that position before with his friends being the ones to check in on him. But at least he knew what to do. Make food, insist on hydration, encourage movement, and offer distraction. And also feed the snake and the cats. That part was new.

A week passed. No news from the police. Chase had to admit that maybe there wouldn’t be news for a while, though he didn’t express that to Marvin. After checking in on his friend one more time, he headed out for his other business of the day, which was, incidentally, more visiting and checking in on people.

Chase had stopped by the hospital every day that week. Honestly, the routine distracted him, and it was good to see some progress being made somewhere. By now a lot of the staff were familiar with him, and didn’t even bother to ask him who he was there to visit. Though a lot of them still directed him to the appropriate wing. It was probably required to.

One short trip up an elevator and down a hallway, and Chase pushed walked through the open doorway of the room, making sure to put on a cheerful expression. “Hey bro. It’s me again.”

Jack’s eyes immediately opened at the sound, head swivelling over to look towards him. He managed a small smile—that was good, he was having trouble with facial movements—and a slight up-and-down hand motion that wasn’t really a wave as much as it was a flop. “Hhh...hhiii. Sha-ays.”

“Hi Jack.” Chase took his usual spot in the chair next to the bed. “You’re looking good.”

“Mmnh.”

“No, really.”

Jack reached to the side and hit the controls for the bed, raising it into more of a sitting position. He pointed towards the table next to the bed.

“Oh, right.” Chase twisted around and picked something up. A board about the size of a large school notebook, with rows of squares printed on its surface. Each square had a different word or phrase written inside, some accompanied by handy pictograms. This was a communication board. Dr. Emerson had explained it was meant to help people who had difficulty speaking normally. It looked a bit childish, with the pictures and color-coded squares, which made sense, because they were apparently primarily used for kids. But Emerson said that, since Jack was still having trouble talking and moving, this was a good alternative. “Here you go, dude.”

Jack dipped his head in a slow nod. He adjusted the bed a bit more, then propped the board up using an arm and used the other hand to point. Chase scooted a bit closer to look at the square he was indicating: How are you?

“Oh, I’m good,” Chase said. It was, of course, a bit of a lie, since he was still really worried about Jameson. But that was a complicated situation that he didn’t really feel like talking about. “What about you? How are you feeling?”

“Mmnn.” Jack pointed to a square labelled Bored.

Chase laughed. “You need a TV or something in here. I thought hospital rooms were all supposed to have them. Like, they came pre-installed with those old boxy models that hang from the ceilings.”

“Heh.” Another small smile, though this one was a bit weaker and quickly fell. Ater a moment, Jack pointed to a different square, this one simply labelled Phone with an accompanying simple picture.

“Yeah, I have my phone.” Chase pulled it out of his pocket. “Why? Do you want to text someone?”

The No box, accompanied by a slight head shake.

“Okay. Then...do you want to take a picture or something?”

The Yes box.

“Really? Well, I don’t know if you can hold the phone,” Chase said reluctantly. Jack was having trouble even holding a pencil, hence why he couldn’t write. “Here, we can take a picture together, okay?”

“Eeuh.” The Yes box.

“Alright.” Chase opened up the front-facing camera, then leaned over next to Jack. “Look at the camera.” Jack appropriately turned his head towards the raised phone, and gave one last small smile. Chase matched him with a big smile of his own, and took a couple pictures. “There we go. Look at us.” He showed the phone to Jack, swiping through the photos. “I like this first one, what about you?”

“Ffferr.” Jack tapped a box with the number One in it.

“Right? We look good.” Chase laughed a bit, then put the phone away. “Hey, none of those tubes got mixed up or pulled out while we were doing that, right?”

Jack turned to look around, then slowly reached up and touched his nasal cannula. I don’t think so, said the box on the board he tapped.

“You have a call button you can press, right?” Chase asked fretfully.

Yes box.

“Good. Good.” Chase let out a short breath. If anything happened to Jack after all of this, he would...he would...well, he honestly wasn’t sure what he would do, but it wouldn’t be good.

“Shhays?” Jack asked. “Wh...wherr Mahffin?”

“Where’s Marvin? Oh, uh.” Chase hesitated. “He’s been busy lately.”

“Mmmm?” I don’t think so box.

“You don’t believe me, huh?” Chase shrugged. “Well, it’s true. I don’t know that much about it, either. I guess maybe one of his holidays is approaching. That or he’s looking for a new job.” That second one was actually true. Or at least, it had been before Jameson disappeared. Chase knew Marvin had put in applications at a couple different places, but he didn’t know if any of them had been accepted.

“Mmnnh.” Jack blinked slowly. “Sshays? Whh...whhbout faays?” There was a worried edge to his voice. “Ffay Shays. Fffay Mhffin.”

“The fakes. Right.” Chase nodded slowly, swallowing back a lump in his throat. “I guess I did promise to explain that.”

“Eeuah.” Yes box.

“Well...” Chase hesitated. “Did...did the doctor explain to you why you were in a coma?”

Yes box. “Ssneeep.”

“Yeah, Schneep made some mistakes. I-I guess only you know what really happened that day.” Chase sighed. “And I guess you can explain that once you figure out how. Y’know, I...explained the whole situation to you a couple times, while you were asleep. I don’t know how much you heard. But...basically. What’s important when it comes to the matter of ‘the fakes’ is...” And he hesitated again.

“Shaays,” Jack said, sharply gesturing to the Now box.

“I know, I know, it’s just...it’s hard, bro.” Chase took a deep breath. “Okay. So there’s a criminal running around. Which is, I know, freaky. But basically, he’s one of the dopplegangers. Looks like us, you know? So ‘the fakes’ are when he...would pretend to be us. A-and I guess he came in to see you while doing that?” He shuddered. “I don’t know why. None of us do. But it’s going to be okay. The doctor knows, a-and he knows to make sure it’s me. Uh...because Marvin’s been...busy this week, he hasn’t come in to see you. And when he does, I’m gonna come, too. So...if Marvin comes in alone, that’s not him. But you, uh, probably shouldn’t indicate that. Um. Got all that?”

Jack stared at him for a long while, then slowly tapped the Yes box.

“It’s a lot, I know,” Chase said reassuringly. “It can be uh...do you need a moment?”

Another long pause. Then the I am okay box.

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Chase let out a breath. “What would even happen when ‘the fakes’ showed up? Would they just talk to you?”

Yes box.

“Probably not about normal stuff.”

No box. Followed by the I am scared box.

“Wha—” Chase coughed awkwardly. “Y-you mean he said upsetting things?”

Jack made a small sound, almost like a whimper. Yes box.

“Oh...oh no.” Chase shook his head. He knew from experience that it was really easy to talk to someone who couldn’t answer, to pour out everything you wouldn’t normally say because you knew they couldn’t tell anyone what you said. In the past, talking to comatose Jack had been a way for him to be honest when he felt terrible, but for an actual criminal to come in and talk like that? Those secrets would probably be a lot darker. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jack blinked at him. Then indicated the How? box.

“...right. The board is good, but I guess it wouldn’t have all the words you need.” Chase nodded. “Well. I mean, later. If you want to talk about it, you can. I-I can teach you BSL, when you’ve got, y’know...better hands.” Jack wheezed at that, a short laugh that made Chase smile. “Yeah, JJ taught me. You remember me telling you about him, right?”

Yes box. “Hhee...sow-sounsss...nai-nais.”

“He is really nice. I think you’d get along.” Chase went quiet. What was happening to Jameson now? It couldn’t be good, not if Anti was involved. Damn it. He couldn’t let anything else happen to his friends! All of them have been through so much already. Marvin was breaking down, Schneep and Jack were in hospitals, and Jackie and Jameson were being held hostage by Jameson’s psychopathic older brother. Enough was enough! He had to do something!

“Shays?” Jack’s head listed to the side, and he tapped the How are you? box. 

“O-oh. Yeah, I’m alright, bro, don’t worry, I was just thinking.” Chase shook his head. It was settled. He’d figure out a way to deal with this situation more directly. “Anyway, I was wondering. Can you, like, eat normal foods yet?”

No box.

“Aw, man. I was gonna offer to bring you coffee tomorrow.”

Jack’s eyes widened a bit. “Waa-aay. W-whhayy!”

Chase laughed. “Glad to see that hasn’t changed. But, well, doctor’s orders and all that.”

“Ahhhh.” Jack tried to frown, but only managed a twitch in his mouth.

“One thing to look forward to after all that physical therapy,” Chase reached over to squeeze Jack’s wrist. “You know, you’re already improving really fast. You might be out of here in a couple months.”

“Heh.” That definitely cheered Jack up.

Chase smiled, and quickly moved on. Later, he’d try to think up a way to deal with other situations. He couldn’t just abandon his friends, after all, and he was getting real sick of all this terrible shit happening. But that would need some more planning. For now, he’d focus on one thing at a time.

——————

They’d been stuck in the room for a week, and JJ was starting to get really worried. Why hadn’t Anti showed up yet? What was he planning? Luckily, they wouldn’t starve, as it turned out the mini fridge and strange cabinets had been stocked with food. But that had to run out eventually. What was going on?

The room was locked down tight. The door outside was solid, and that weird square on the wall that might’ve been a sealed-up window showed no signs of wear. There wasn’t a window in the bathroom, either. But on the morning of the second day, JJ did find a small key in the bathroom’s medicine cabinet, which turned out to unlock the cuff on Jackie’s wrist. “Thank god for that,” Jackie had muttered when JJ unchained him from the bunk. “Not gonna lie, though, it’s weird being able to actually walk around.”

Jackie seemed mostly bored with the whole situation, to be honest. Which probably made sense. After all, he did keep reiterating that this was the most comfortable captivity he’d been in since Anti took him. But Jameson just found himself getting more and more worried as time passed. He tried to distract himself by helping Jackie catch up on his sign language learning, but eventually that didn’t work, and he just kept pacing the floor, anxiety slowly growing with every passing hour.

When the locked door finally opened, JJ was almost relieved that the anticipation was over with. But that relief was quickly overshadowed when someone stepped into the room and shut the door.

It was Anti, of course. He didn’t look too much different from how Jameson remembered him. Same brown hair, same single blue eye accompanied by a fake green one. Same scars over half his face, though the long one across his throat was new. However, that watch hanging on a chain around his neck...that was not new. Jameson recognized that immediately, and resisted the urge to reach up and grab his own watch, around his own neck.

The moment Anti entered, Jackie went pale, sitting down hard on the bottom bunk and scooting back until he hit the wall. But Jameson couldn’t move. He stopped his nervous pacing against the wall by the dresser and instantly froze, eyes locked onto Anti. And Anti stared at him in turn, eyes occasionally flicking up and down as he looked him over. The room was silent enough for the three men’s breathing to echo in the air.

Then, slowly, Anti took a couple steps away from the door. He was still standing in between the other two and their only exit, but he didn’t keep guarding it. JJ then noticed that Anti was holding two plastic bags in one hand, which he then set on the ground. Finally, Anti looked away from Jameson, searching the room with his eyes before landing on Jackie. He frowned. “What are you doing? That’s not your bed.”

Jackie flinched. He scrambled up from the bottom bunk and towards the ladder, climbing up it to the top, where he resumed his position with his back against the wall. Anti nodded, then glanced towards the other end of the cuffs still attached to the railing. “Where’s the key?”

Nobody answered, but Jackie instinctively glanced towards Jameson before glancing back. That didn’t go unnoticed by Anti, who looked back towards him. Jameson still couldn’t move. He couldn’t if he wanted to. He was a statue with limbs made of cold, solid stone, a beating heart in his chest pounding loudly in his ears.”Well...I guess it’s fine, then,” Anti finally said, not looking away from Jameson. He went silent for a few seconds. Then: “Jamie.”

That finally broke the spell, and Jameson backed up. What was he supposed to do? He’d been so worried about why Anti wasn’t showing up, that he didn’t think what to do when he finally did. His mind was scrabbling for purchase on shaking ground. His pulse was racing wildly. He couldn’t think of a solution. It wasn’t even an option underneath the sudden appearance of emotion whirling around his brain. Fear? Grief? Dread? Surprise? Relief?

“Do you...like the room?” Anti asked.

It was such an absurd question that the only response Jameson could muster was a strangled choking sound.

“I-I mean, it’s not exactly a five-star hotel, but I tried to make it nice. You have to share it, unfortunately, limited space. Do you two know each other? You’re friends the rest of the group.”

He just had to respond to that statement. How do you know that? Jameson asked, signing shakily.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on them,” Anti stated plainly. “Didn’t realize who you were until I saw you signing with that long-haired one, Marvin. You’re not online, so I couldn’t figure it out from tagging or anything. Took some more old-fashioned work.”

You were stalking me, Jameson said. Weren’t you?

“I had to find out where you lived, didn’t I?” Anti said, ignoring the faint shake of Jameson’s head. “But you caught on. Hah. You always were a clever boy.”

What do you want? Jameson asked. Why did you do this?! He added, signs growing steadier.

“Well you were going to freak out if I tried to talk to you normally, weren’t you?” Anti’s voice was unnervingly calm. “And I was right. I didn’t want to do this, but you kind of made me. So here we are.”

I didn’t ‘make you’ do anything! Jameson protested. You never have to kidnap people!

“This isn’t a kidnapping.”

Jameson just pointed over at Jackie, staring at Anti significantly.

Anti hesitated. Then he laughed. “Alright, I guess it is. Like I said, you’re a clever boy, Jamie.”

Stop calling me that! Jameson signed sharply, feeling a rise of sudden white-hot rage. I hate it, I’ve always hated it, and it doesn’t make this whole thing better if you keep calling me by that stupid nickname! It doesn’t change the fact that you drugged me and took me to some place far away and are now keeping me here against my will!

“Against your will? Aw, you mean you don’t want to see your big brother again?” Anti tilted his head to the side and smiled sickeningly.

Jameson shook his head violently. No! You’re a murderer who just abduct—

“Because I’ve been dying to see you again,” Anti interrupted, walking closer. Jameson paled, but found he couldn’t back up. “Did you know I thought you were dead? Did I tell you that already? I doubt you planned it to look that way, honestly, you’re clever but you never plan ahead. So I guess it was just a coincidence that the note you left sounded like a...permanent goodbye. Why’d you throw your jacket in the river, though?” Anti slowly reached up and grabbed the watch around his neck. “Did you think about what that would imply?” he asked softly.

And once again, Jameson was a statue, petrified by Anti’s dual-colored gaze like a real-world victim of Medusa. God damn it, why did Anti sound actually hurt by this? Was he actually hurt? JJ hadn’t really been thinking when he’d dropped his old jacket in the river three years ago, he just saw his reflection in the water, and suddenly wanted to get rid of the jacket his brother had bought him. So he did, then fled with the suitcase he’d packed. It was true, he hadn’t really been planning ahead when he left, though he’d thought about how Anti would react. Sometimes he wanted to go back, hating to make him sad, but convincing himself he was probably angry. Still, he remembered almost doubling back at a couple different bus stops, thinking it wasn’t worth it. 

Had Anti really thought...? Something like that would be upsetting to anyone, especially over someone who’d been under your care for years. He never meant to—

Why was he thinking about this?!

Jameson shook his head, and pushed Anti back. I don’t care what you thought, he said harshly. I don’t care how you felt.

“Of course you do,” Anti said. “I saw how you were hesitating. We’re brothers, Jameson, we care about each other. And you’re so sensitive, of course you can’t help it.”

No, no, no. Jameson continued to shake his head. I don’t care how you felt because you never cared what I felt. A seventeen-year-old shouldn’t be helping to dispose of a body. A twenty-year-old shouldn’t be afraid to go outside because his brother convinced him enemies would be after him.

“I didn’t want to get you involved in any of it,” Anti insisted. “But sometimes I had to! I couldn’t do it alone. Jamie—Jameson, it killed me to ask for your help. I just wanted you to be safe, but I was putting you in active danger out of necessity. So I had to make sure that nothing happened to you, especially when I was out and couldn’t protect you. I was just trying to keep you safe.”

You’re contradicting yourself, Jameson signed, keeping his face carefully expressionless. Keeping me safe, yet continually involving me in your work? You were a hypocrite back then, and you’re a hypocrite now.

“Oh my god, why can’t you just understand?!” Anti suddenly shouted. “No, of course! You don’t understand! You’re not even trying! It was so fucking difficult, Jameson, I did what I had to.” He took a deep breath. “Please, Jamie. You’re a sweet boy. Always have been. Why can’t you be now?”

Because you fucking kidnapped four people and killed thirteen! Jameson signed, aghast. Are we forgetting that? Or are you just trying to get me to?

Anti sighed, looking disappointed. “Alright. We can stop for the night.” He backed up, glancing over towards the bunk beds to make sure Jackie was still sitting there. “It’s a complicated situation, all of it. But you’re my little brother, and I care about you.” He reached the door, and grabbed the handle. “I brought you groceries, since I saw you were about halfway through them. I’ll stop by again.” And quickly, he opened the door and slipped out, the lock clicking behind him.

Silence.

Then Jackie let out a long, slow breath. “That was...that was f-fucking terrifying.”

JJ relaxed, letting out all of the tension he’d been holding. I told you he wasn’t aggressive all the time, he said, walking over to the plastic bags Anti had left on the floor and crouching down to look through them. A lot of dry foods. No drinks, but that was fine, since the mini fridge was full of them. He grabbed the bags and moved them over to the cabinet area.

“Yeah, but...it’s an entirely different thing to see it in person.” Jackie slowly inched back over to the bunk beds’ ladder, sitting with his feet on the top rung. “Mother of fuck. I thought it couldn’t get worse than the time he was strangling me, but that. It wasn’t exactly threatening, but it was...wow.”

Sorry, the time he what?! JJ asked, eyes wide as he turned to look back at Jackie.

“Oh. Uh...I-I’ll explain later, if you want,” Jackie mumbled. “What did he bring?”

Dropping the subject for now, JJ glanced through the bags again. Everything we need, he said. You’re right. He’s watching us.

Jackie nodded. “Of course. Wonder where the camera is this time.”

Jameson gave the room a sweep with his eyes. There wasn’t anywhere obvious, but then again, modern cameras were so tiny. It could be anywhere. A direct connection to Anti. He’d be always there, always watching...

Suddenly, Jameson’s legs gave out and he fell to the floor.

“JJ!” Jackie scrambled down the ladder and rushed over. “What happened?! Are you okay?”

“Hhhhnnn.” Jameson covered his mouth. His furious blinking couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, and a few slipped out. He got into a kneeling position, slowly shaking his head.

“Are you hurt? I-I mean physically?” Jackie reached out to touch Jameson’s shoulder, only for him to sharply pull away and shake his head harder. “I—okay. What’s wrong? What do you need?”

He just kept shaking his head, now trembling all over as he bent over and covered his head with his arms. It was just one conversation. One conversation, and in the course of that conversation, he had frozen up, gotten angry, then slowly started buying into what Anti was saying. He managed to catch himself this time but...It was going to go back to the way it used to be. There was no way to escape it. And now, he was physically trapped as well, unable to leave. He’d just keep listening to Anti. God damn it. God damn it! He couldn’t do this!

“H-hey, it’s...I mean, that looked really hard to do.” Jackie sat down on the floor next to him, crossing his legs. “But you did it, you know. It was really impressive, actually.”

Jameson looked up, and managed to start signing. I won’t be able to do it next time.

“What are you talking about? Of course you will!” Jackie smiled a bit, before looking grave. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s still going to be hard. But you’ve done it before. Hell, sounds like you managed to run away from the bastard in the past. When you were on your own, too. I probably can’t do much to, like, fight back, but I’ll still be here. Kind of have to be, ha. So...that’s different, I guess. Tell me if you need anything. Okay? I promise I’ll help.”

Jackie’s positivity was a bit awkward, but his tone was genuine. JJ found himself relaxing. He took a few deep breaths, then looked around the room. Things he could see: bunk bed, bags, bathroom door, mini fridge, Jackie. Things he could hear: his heartbeat, breathing, Jackie talking, slight humming from the lights. Things he could feel...he went down through the list.

“You...are you okay?” Jackie asked.

Better, JJ replied. But a bit drained. I think I’m going to take a nap.

“Alright. Go ahead. I’ll get these groceries sorted out.”

JJ nodded, and stood up, making his way over to the bottom bunk. Pushing the covers aside, he climbed in, turning to face the wall. His pocket watch was still hanging from his neck, and this time, he couldn’t stop himself from holding it. Then he took it off. Not around the neck. Somewhere different. To remind him that things weren’t the same.

Slowly, he fell asleep to the sound of Jackie rummaging in the cabinets.

——————

That hadn’t gone well. Anti sat down at his desk, replaying the conversation over. Where had he gone wrong? There must have been a couple places. Jameson clearly didn’t trust him, for obvious reasons. So, he’d need to find some way to gain it back. If Jameson wanted him to leave him alone, then he would. For a bit. Refine his conversation skills and what to say. Put more effort into it. He might have to lie at times, but that was fine.

He glanced at his phone. Some notifications alerting him to new messages in his...“work” email. Eventually, he’d have to answer some. That was how he got money, after all, which allowed him things like this new safe house.

What about Jackie? He’d been pretty quiet during that encounter. Good. If he was trying to gain Jameson’s trust, it would be a shame to hurt a friend of his. He’d let him be for now.

Anti looked over at the other item on the desk. A small turquoise notebook. After a few seconds, he reached over and picked it up, fanning through the pages until he reached one in particular. Then, he slid something out from between them. A keycard. He’d been reading this notebook for a while, and based on the contents, he could guess what this card was for. Why Marvin had it, he wasn’t sure, since it clearly belonged to that doctor woman.

And he wondered...should he make use of the card now? Or should he wait a while?

He played with the card for a minute, flipping it over his fingers. No, he’d wait. He already had enough to deal with at the moment. Maybe once he’d adjusted to the change. Still, it didn’t mean he couldn’t give the idea some thought. Bring it into solid reality.

Three at once might be a little much, but he could handle them.

And Jameson might like another friend.

[karliesbuzzcut]

(100) Million Dollar Lawsuit

Intro | part1 | part2 | part3 | part4

We are on the last chapter (for now) and this the most chaotic one. Mainly because it doesn’t follow any kind of chronological order (or logical sense), it’s just Russ going in circles for literal years.

But I’ll try my best to condense it for you, so all you need to do is to keep your seat belt fastened until the aircraft stops completely.

Right after the failed Ari lawsuit, Russ goes back to his one and only love: Taylor Swift 💫 And he has learned a lesson — not a good lesson, mind you, but a lesson: small claims courts won’t take him anywhere. If he really wants to punish women for not complimenting his suit, he will have to file a multi-million dollar federal lawsuit.

But, since denying sex from The Russell isn’t illegal (yet), he had to come at it from a different angle. I’m going to give Russ a chance to explain himself first.

Before you ask: yes, the following was Russell’s response to a woman thanking Taylor for visiting an 8 year-old girl who was very badly burned in an accident.

As I’ve always said, it’s okay if you aren’t fluent in Bullshit. That’s what I’m here for.

You see, Russell views human interactions as a series of transactions: I make a tweet worth liking, you go on a date with me; I take you to Olive Garden, you give me a handie for free; I put on a suit, you hug me and smile; I write you a song and sue you, you produce said song. Whenever women don’t fulfil their side of the deal, he becomes enraged.

But the reason he has such a strong hate-boner for Tay, is because she seemed to also follow his same ‘moral code’. A kid makes a cute video, she visits them at the hospital. A fan writes her a letter inviting her to their wedding, she goes to the wedding. A couple of kids fold 1989 paper cranes for Andrea, Taylor invites them to one of her concerts.

Russ thought “this is a done deal”. He didn’t write that song for Taylor because he particular liked her; he just thought she’d be the most likely artist to produce it — or at least acknowledge his existence.

I mentioned before that Russ wrote a whole-ass book about this. And I think it’s as good a time as any to talk about it. For a short amount of time, Russell chilled out about the ✨100 million dollar lawsuit ✨ but my guess is that he thought his book would get him the same results as a lawsuit? To be fair, the book is fantastic. 5/5, would recommend. 

He details the harassment he went through after suing Taylor Swift (the first time). Apparently old ladies at coffee shops would scream at him because he dared to sue Our Queen. A Mexican even pointed a gun at him (it wasn’t me, guys! Just a fellow countryman ❤️) and ordered Russ to drop the lawsuit. Computers at his job caught on literal fire because he was sent very powerful viruses. His friend Ken — who definitely exists! — was hit with a Molotov cocktail. Yep. 2016 was definitely the year people were willing to murder for Taylor Swift.

There’s also this brilliant dream sequence that involves an owl with the voice of Morgan Freeman, and Taylor’s agents guarding a tower in which she’s being held captive. 

ALSO ALSO: an entire chapter is called “SHE CHOSE HIM OVER ME”. Taylor Swift chose Joe Alwyn — a man she actually knows — over a man she’s not even aware exists. Women, amiright?

I think Russell would enjoy the Kaylor community to a certain extent. Not the lesbian part, obviously: he doesn’t trust women who don’t want to touch his peen. I just mean the baseless hatred of Joe. Look, I made a little collage of his rants ❤️ tell me if any of this sounds familiar!

You know — I’ve been joking around a lot about Russell just wanting to do the nasty with Taylor. But you know me, I like joking around. In reality Russ only wants what is fair. He wants to put a stop to all these senseless acts of kindness perpetrated by Taylor ‘The Generous’ Swift.

This isn’t about him at all, actually. Shame on you for thinking there’s an ounce of greed in that selfless little body of his. HE’S DOING THIS TO PROTECT THE KIDS WITH CANCER!

There are no ulterior motives here! This isn’t about a date!

THIS IS NOT ABOUT A DATE AT ALL GUYS STOP SAYING THAT.

I think this is my favourite post of his, because– grammatically speaking –he doesn’t specify which of them is wearing the red dress. And that sends me every goddamn time.

Anyway. The book, as magnificent as it was, got him absolutely nowhere. I know, I can’t believe it either. So he went back to focus on his lawsuit. But apparently not enough, because he didn’t serve her properly..? Now, don’t expect me to understand this, because I am very stupid (so it’s quite a good thing that I haven’t sued anybody for millions of dollars) but something about him sending the lawsuit to her old legal team..? And then trying to force UPS to serve her? I think he even said he was going to serve her in the middle of one of her concerts... but I’m guessing that didn’t go as planned 🤷‍♀️ oops.

Of course, Russie wouldn’t allow such an anticlimactic ending. Can you guess what he did? Please tell me that you can guess what he did. HE MADE ANOTHER SONG 😭❤️

This one is called ‘I Don’t Get You, Taylor Swift’. Another masterpiece that we definitely didn’t deserve 🙌

This was around April, 2019. By then I was being lured away by Kaylors, so I broke it off with Russ. I know that he filed a 3rd lawsuit against Taylor last year, which is just like the second one but hopefully this time he’ll be able to serve. And listen— I know that sounds like an awful thing to wish on Taylor, but I’d rather have Russell occupied suing a rich woman (who isn’t even going to deal with him), than a poor sex worker in Nevada. I bet TayTay would prefer that too.

Well guys, I’ve mentioned this a few times already, but I really had to be selective with the amount of information I was going to throw at you. I’ve avoided some of the shittier stuff he said or did, because I wanted to keep these posts as lighthearted as possible. I also didn’t touch on many things because they would just derail us. Like for example: one of the few lawsuits he has filed against someone who isn’t a woman, was against the state of Utah. I know, right? He’s trying to singlehandedly legalise prostitution in Utah, and even wrote a book (more like a pamphlet) brilliantly titled ‘Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks: A Short Essay from a Pro Se Litigant who is Challenging the Utah Brothel Bans’.

I copy-pasted that title guys, I swear to god.

The book is very graphic. This one I certainly do not recommend as I still suffer nightmares because of it.

Soren is a character who also had to be cut out — which is a shame because he really tried to be a good christian and help Russell. Not as in “I support you, Russell” but as in “why don’t you take a nap, Russell”. Turns out, even cinnamon rolls have a limit. Russ, of course, blames Taylor Swift for the fact that he’s losing his friends. I’m not joking — it’s an article in his lawsuit:

Greer has lost family relationships, friend connections and business connections because of the trauma of Taylor Swift. His family tells him to "get over it," resulting in shouting matches and strained relationships. Greer's friends get annoyed by his focusing on the trauma of it, when nobody knows the pain of getting rejected by a public figure — twice — and the fallout that has resulted from it.

Russell embodies that comic/meme of the little guy who puts a stick in his bicycle’s wheels and then blames Taylor Swift when he inevitably falls.

Sooooo...

Maybe someday I’ll write a post about Russ’ latest antics. I know he still posts stupid stuff on Facebook, which he later deletes. He shined especially bright at the peak of the BLM movement. He also plead guilty to electronic communications harassment— did you see that conviction coming? Yes, yes you did 😌

Regarding Taylor, I read that Russ knew someone who knew Todrick Hall — and Russ sent him a song and video for Taylor. All he got back was a Cease and Desist letter. But I’d have to do a bit of digging to get the details. I was already so overwhelmed with organising the information I was previously aware of, that I decided to leave the newer stuff for another time. You know, once I’ve had some time to inform myself... as well as a really long shower.

Since I left so much shit out, I’ll be taking questions if you have any. And if you can muster the courage to ask them. I’m weirdly proud of being some kind of Russell encyclopaedia. I might not have much going for me...

There’s no ‘but’ — that was the complete statement.

Before I go, I wanted to add this screenshot. I absolutely love it because it summarises ✨The Russell Experience✨. Russ wants Taylor to know pain, poverty and punishment. But when asked “why?” his answer is just “oh, I was ignored lol”

*none of the screenshots are mine