#good skunk vibes

[impishdullahan]

Whenever I go for a long walk, I always say hi to the critters I encounter and ask how they're doing: "Dag, [beestje], oewest? Alles goe'?" ("Hey, [beastie], how's it [going]? Everything good?"). Tonight I chanced on a skunk. Little guy stanced up, but after I asked, continuing on my way to not pose a threat, I got a little nod before he scurried away! For a split second, everything was okay in the world because I knew this adorable little guy was having a good day.

[thegcng-arch]

"you skate little dude?" i ask as i hop off my skate board, standing in front of the other. "i could totally teach you, if y'wanno learn. don't got any helmets or pads though ... but we'll be real careful! i swear."

@soulmissed ft. skunk & auggie.

[hanihazeljade]

Skill Issue

Jason was away when Tim got de-aged. Now, it his turned to be the victim of the incarnation of Janet, Timothy.

pt.2 of Disgustingly Green

(CW: Manipulation, swearing)

Tim avoided the kid that kept on insulting him. He doesn't even apologise to him! Mr. Wayne is so dumb that he doesn't even reprimand that kid and instead he reprimand Tim instead. It is giving Sephora kids vibe.

Tim was now actively avoidinh the living room where the telly is. He likes watching news but the kid was always there petting his cat. And Tim is allergic to cats, that is what his mom told him when he ask for one, so he is glad to have the huge library of the Waynes to himself.

They have a huge collection of non-fiction books and Tim loves it. He was already in fifth book in his weeks of being here! His house never had this types of books, it's just his textbook and the ancient manuscript that his parents like to bring back to their digs. Having this was really heaven.

He is in the page 86 when someone enter the library. He looked over to see if it's the kid or if it's Mr. Butler. But to his surprise it's neither. It is a tall man with a weird white hair strip. Even though he knows it's rude to stare at someone, he stared at the weird man and the weird man stare back at him. It is not a contest but something in Tim has the feeling of "if you look away, you lose" and Tim hates losing.

The weird man breaks the stare first making Tim proud of himself.

"You are too little for an eight-year old, Replacement." The weird man said.

Replacement? Who? Him? Timothy? The audacity to call him a replacement? If Timothy replace him and he might be not good enough then.

Tim smiled, "And you look a lot like a skunk but you don't hear me complain, right?" he said, then he sniffed the air, "And also you smell like one."

"What the fuck, Replacement?"

"Language, Mr. Butler doesn't like swearing." Tim said as he went back to his book.

"Ah nuh uh, this is my place, Replacement."

"I don't see your name anywhere here, Mr. Weird Man." Tim said but not breaking his eye contact on his book.

"I will count to three and if you don't het your ass out of here, I swear to God, Replacement."

"You kept on calling me "Replacement", maybe if you use your little brain of yours, you might find a conclusion that if an eight-year old can replace your big body, you might have a skill issue, but hey, that might be too much for your little brain." Tim shrugged.

"One."

"Try me."

"Two."

"..."

"Three." and with three, Tim's body got flown across the room. Tim was shocked, he can see the weird man smug face, but he can make it to his favour. He pushed out his tears out of his eyes and loudly wailed. Mr. Butler hate to see him sad, he doesn't know why but he can put it in his advantage.

And within 15 seconds of his wailing, Mr. Butler appeared, looking for the boy that was still laying on the floor, cheeks are red and his arms are a little bit bruised. Mr. Butler look at the weird man with a neautral face.

"Alfred, I swear it doesn't what it looks like." The weird man defended himself but Tim is not gonna give him a chance and shouted, "He threw me!" and he wailed even louder, his knees are even now hurting.

"I thought I raised you better than this, Master Jason." Mr. Butler just shook his head, "Come on, Master Timothy. Let me patch you up."

"Carry me, please?" Timothy looks at Mr. Butler with his wide eyes still filled with tears and his lips are wobbling as he put his hands up. And with no words, Mr. Butler carried him with ease. Timothy snuggled at the old man's neck, he sniffled a little and gave the weird man a middle finger, it's bad but the shocked face of the weird man is satisfying.

++++++++++

"That is a goblin, Bruce." Jason said as he watched Replacement cling to his not so legal adoptive father.

"Kids are just honest, Jason. Dick too said a lot of harsh words back when he was eight." Bruce defended Timothy as Timothy keep on touching Bruce face by gently smacking it then giggling.

"Yeah, sure. Kids are mean, we already established that, I mean have you seen Damian?" Jason snorted, "But that goblin is a lot worse than Damian and that says a lot."

"We know, Little Wing. The first time this Tim meet Damian, he managed to made Damian cry." Dick said as he spawned out of nowhere. "But he was just a cutie little thing, aren't you?" Dick cooed to Timothy and Timothy giggled.

"Okay, first of all, where the hell you come from and second, that kid made the demon cry?" Jason was shocked, the kid did made the impossible. He didn't think Al Ghuls actually can cry and that little shit actually did.

"Yes, with that incident, Damian has become more elusive to Tim. The manor has been the most peace it had since." Bruce said as he keeps Tim stay still to his arms. "And also Jason, Roy's daughter is the same age as Tim right now, right?"

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Finally reading "Under the Red Hood" for my story, Dick Grayson V Gotham and some notes about what exactly happens here:

Jason's helmet really is a whole ass red circle with eyes, isn't it.

There's constant internal monologue about how much Batman cares about his kids. From Alfred and from Batman.

There's a whole ass woman who I have never seen referenced before called Onyx? Who's apparently the "only other hero allowed in the whole of gotham... other than catwoman".

Bruce recognizing Jason just based on how he fights and plans is beautiful, even if bruce doesn't believe it yet.

Superman's over here flirting with Bruce, going "we could have gotten tickets to the theater if you'd called ahead 😘😘" while bruce is traveling all over the world to figure out if his baby boy might be back from the dead.

Lowkey sad that Jason doesn't have the skunk stripe. I know it was fanon that occasionally became canon, but I still like it.

Wow, this Robin!Jason flashback is really giving us good views of the scaly panties, >:P

So, during the flashback, Bruce brings up the idea that Jason has a "mean streak" in comparison to how Dick was. But it's not that Jason was "mean" and Dick "nice"--Dick has a massive temper, even if canon rarely allows him to acknowledge it--but with Dick... Everytime he was Robin, I think he was still in the mindset of "performer". There was a bit more disconnect between him and the criminals of Gotham, because the fights were more like acts. Jason performs too, but he's very personal about it. This is his city, he's taking all these crimes personally and even when he's "performing" it's still Jason Todd, while Dick's Robin is more so a mask. IDK, this is just the vibes I'm picking up.

I really love the panels after Jason blows up the meth lab. The way the colors are... it makes Jason almost look like he's teared up? It's beautiful.

Oh great, Slade's here. No wonder this things so damn long

You know what, Slade? I'm on Black Mask's side here. A nazi and a hyena man? You can find better hired help on Craigslist.

Just finished the fight, and I'm STILL on Black Mask's side. Slade, who the fuck are these losers!?

Yes, Jason baby, kill the nazi!

Jason got them Christmas presents! That's sweet!

Slade, why the FUCK were you here? Did you see Nightwing was in town and go "lol, this'll be funny"?

Black Mask really calling himself Daddy around Jason... wasn't a joke. Huh.

There are some very nice parallels after Jason reveals his identity to Bruce. Bruce was too late to stop Joker's bomb, he was too late to stop the bomb in the meth lab. Bruce was too late to stop his son from getting attacked by a supervillain, but Bruce was faster now, good job! And Bruce never killed his son's killer, and he won't kill Stephanie's killer either. It's like he keeps testing Bruce to see if he really has to go through with his plan with the Joker.

Actually, it wouldn't surprise me if Jason's entire beef with Black Mask was because of his part in Stephanie Brown's death.

...I don't really like the idea of Jason calling himself a zombie after Joker did it.

Jason wiped the smile off his face, goddamn! (And don't think I didn't notice how similar Joker and Jason's laughs are, comic artists. Sure, maybe that's just how cackling laughter was drawn back then, but in literature, that smells like foiling).

...THIS is when Bludhaven gets destroyed!? Really???

Also, what is this depiction of Bludhaven just... being across a river? This feels unreasonably close, why hasn't Gotham just eaten Bludhaven at this point?

IT'S A NUKE???

THEY ARE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT IT, HOW ARE THEIR EYES NOT GETTING BURNT OUT OF THEIR HEADS

I'm just realizing how many explosives there are in this series. Between the bombs the Bats use, and the bombs Jason sets up, and... what happened to bludhaven. That, kids, is what we call a theme!

Bruce really is sympathetic in this. It's subtle, which is good, I don't think anyone would have appreciated the author blaring out "BATMAN IS IN THE RIGHT, HE'S THE BEST GUY, FUCK JASON."

And Jason is getting more and more unhinged as the fight progresses.

You know, it's occurring to me that this all could have been prevented if New Jersey had the death penalty. There's no way Joker could have gotten the insanity plea so many times if they could put him in the ground for good.

...I wonder if Batman votes to reinstate the death penalty?

"But why... why on God's earth--??! Is he still alive!!??" Is just... such a good reveal. Such a good line. No wonder we're all so fixated on this character, omg.

Oh. This is why Jason thinks Batman doesn't love him.

It's the lack of reciprocation. Jason sees "killing the Joker after he killed you" as an act of love. Batman cannot provide that act, so Jason sees that refusal as proof he is unloved.

The funniest Joker's ever been:

Oh, the batarang moment. Oh no.

Oh no oh no oh no

I still feel like resurrection via Superboy punching the universe hard is still a cop-out reason why Jason's alive, but the line "Until time decided to set things right." is speaking to me.

Oh god, the buried alive scene is brutal.

Okay, so Jason came back fully sane, he definitely knew what he was doing breaking out of the coffin, but his injuries that were unhealed and getting hit by a fucking car are what caused his catatonic state. He didn't just wake up not all there, that happened because no one was looking out for him.

Okay, so 6 months dead, about a... year in a coma. It says a year for his time catatonic on the streets, then a year with Talia, still catatonic... that's three and a half years, Jason really started being the Red Hood... like what, a few weeks after he got tossed in the Pits?

...I thought the pits were green. They look gold in my version of these comics, is that normal?

EW, WHY'D SHE KISS HIM

Also, there was no brainwashing this boy, Talia literally just said "you remain avenged" and it sent Jason on this whole murder spiral, she didn't do shit

Except kiss him. which, EW

Alright, good night everybody!

[lynaferns]

Hi, hello. Did you say big bat vampire dca au? As in, they’re big bats? 👀

That sounds really cool!

Yeah, although I don't have a clear image of them yet.

I made a doodle of the three half(?) transformed

They are mixed species but each resemble one more than the others. (I messed up eclipses ears, drew the wrong shape)

(whoops little ramble about bats)

Sun is an Indian Flying Fox, a fructivore bat. They are one of the bigguest (1 to 2 ft tall and 4ft wingspan (great for hugs/j)) and helps with the forest pollinization. They can fly 40km in one night. They lack echolocation but has a better eyesight than other bats. It's endangered due to humans haunting them for their meat.

Moon it's a Common Vampire bat (and a bit of White Winged bat for the colors), they eat mammal blood. There are 3 vampire species: the common, White-winged and Hairy-legged, the common can eat blood from any mammal while the other two eat mainly from birds and humans. The common vampire is a good crawler, so they'll prefer to get close to their prey from the ground. The white-winged has these glands in its mouth that uses to spit a really nauseating smell when its being molested (like skunks but these spit on you), there is sulfur in the spit.

Eclipse has the more clear mixes to see and it's the smallest of the three, its a Welwitch bat (it has freckles!!), a big eared and has part of canyon bat (because of the colors too). It's insectivorous, they help with plagues. They pretty much just vibe, just leave them be eating half their weigh in bugs and both of you'll be happy.

Nor the vampire or fruit bat has tails.

And they all can give you

Rabiessssss ✨

I didn't look into every especie there is of bats, first of because there are like 1,000, most of them insetivorous, and second because there is varely any info about any especie that aren't the common ones.

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hey ml! Can you do the greasers (separate) with a read who dyes her hair a lot! And changes it up a lot! Thank you!!

Summary: The gang x a reader who dyes their hair a lot

Warning: none

Author's Note: none

PONYBOY CURTIS

Pony has had some crazy run ins with hair dye, from bleaching to having Soda and Steve dye his blond hair red while he was sleeping as a 'prank'

It washed out to a light pink and he was so frustrated. He met you when his hair was still tinted pink, you complimented it despite its bad apply job.

He was so embarrassed that he saw you ( a pretty person ) when he looked like that. He actually stayed away from you for a while until the pink was fully washed out.

Once it was washed out he started talking to you and trying to hang out. He realllllly loves your hair. he likes running his hands through it.

He'll always suggest a new colour for you to try out and will buy boxes of dye for you.

JOHNNY CADE

Johnny finds your hair so cool, he didn't know people could get hair in 'unnatural' colours like blue, green, etc.

He likes when you have hair that stands out, like a bright colour or a pattern like skunk highlights etc. He says it makes you easier to find in a crowd.

He really tries to keep you away from his parents though, because they are ultra religious and he doesn't want them to get the wrong impression of you.

His favorite hair colour of yours is blue, he likes it when its really dark because he thinks it really compliments your eyes and makes you look good.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Soda has never really ( like Johnny ) been around a person with 'unnatural' hair. Mostly because he prefers the middle class parties and not Bucks where a lot of people have dyed their hair to match their party outfits.

He's really enamoured by your hair, constantly touching it (with your permission) because he thinks the dye might rub off onto something else. For example, if your hair is under your jacket, he'll pull it out for you.

He will never EVER let you dye his hair though. He likes it sure but he prefers his natural hair and he thinks his hair could fall out. Maybe when your older though.

Soda likes it when your hair is blonde with hints of green, purple, etc. Pigeon hair basically. He thinks its so cool how it looks metallic and stuff.

STEVE RANDLE

I feel like Steve has tried out hair dye once. He put it over his brown hair so it didn't show up very well, but he had hints of red in his hair for about 5 months.

He loves it when you dye your hair red. He secretly really wants you to dye his hair but knows he cant pull it off like you and his mother would be really unhappy.

He always likes it when your hair is patterned and has hints of red in it, skunk highlights with red for example, he thinks its so tuff and it matches your vibe.

He will let you dye his hair ONCE, with some convincing and the promise of 'it will wash out soon'. He loved it but he's glad it washed out quickly because his mom was on his BACK.

TWO BIT MATHEWS

Two Bit always had a thing for people who dye their hair. Partially because soc girls are unreachable and they dont dye their hair but also because it makes you look badass.

Think Ramona Flowers, he's your scott pilgrim. He's always making sure your hair is healthy and that it doesn't 'fall out' because, in his words, "You won't have anything to dye if you have no hair,"

He loves sitting in the bathroom with you, watching you dye your hair as he drinks a beer. The conversations between you two are always super good when you're together like that.

His sister has seen you around so much that she's asked for pink hair. You and Two Bit sat together with her, putting pink eye shadow in her hair so it would wash out after a day.

DARRY CURTIS

Darry thinks the dark colors make you look extremely sultry and beautiful. He loves it when you do a dark raspberry color or dark blue. He livess for it.

He will never dye his hair though, even if you try to convince him. He's firm on his belief that his natural hair looks best.

He's always been a little curious to what your natural hair colour is though. When you dyed it back to your origional colour he was over the moon happy and thought it looked sooo good.

He also enjoys sitting with you while you dye your hair. He'll even wash out the dye in the sink for you. He likes being connected with you especially while you do something you like.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dallas has seen so many girls with coloured hair because he practically lives at Buck's parties. However he's never seen someone with hair like yours.

You managed to take care of your hair so it was still silky and smooth but it had such pretty colouring and it was patterned which kinda blew his mind.

He literally was so blown away by how cool your hair was and was really pissed when he saw he wasn't the only one who noticed and that there were a bunch of guys coming to talk to you.

He made it there first tho and struck up conversation. It ended as you two dating!

He'll never dye his hair, he's a bit too insecure for that and doesn't want to look 'less tuff' in anyones eyes. But he'll smoke a cigarette while you dye yours and splash water at you to annoy you.

[itsblasttothepast]

Hey I know this is random af but I just recently found your deep-dive lore of Checo as his fan, if you don't mind me asking is there any deeper relationship between Lewis and Checo as driver since they never really become teammate to begin with? As new checo fans I feel like I missed a lot of his lore

Oh anon, you have no idea what you've done. You opened the door to a rambling from ages ago, so fasten your seatbelt, because it will be a wild ride my friend, as I'm getting into this mode:

Checo and Lewis' story started with the first podium of my adorable Mexican: Malaysia 2012. He was P2, Fernando Alonso won, and Lewis was P3.

Look how happy my boy was, so excited for his first podium, next to the big honcho (Alonso back then). As Checo was just starting in F1, honestly I didn't know much about Lewis before that moment, but he always looked reserved and aloof, too cool for this bunch (nothing against Lewis, I like him, but he gives me that vibe even now).

In the press room, we all noticed Lewis looking at Checo like this, it was like 'what is this guy even doing here, with a SAUBER?' (Sauber was a middle-low table team).

We thought then that we would hate Lewis forever and ever for giving the evil eye to our boy, but to our surprise, they seemed to get along just fine... even more than just fine, if you get my drift.

They always seemed to gossip in the interviews and press conferences, and to be honest, they were fairly touchy feely to each other.

But the year I feel they were the closest, and I can't say if they had something bigger than a friendship because of course we cannot know that, but they were close for sure, maybe good friends, was 2015... oh, 2015...

They shared a few podiums, and they were so smiley and touchy, like in Russia:

Or... the thing that BROKE US back then (and still, honestly), México 2015 Grand Prix... a video of Lewis being a DJ in a club, with Checo next to him.... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, alrighty?

Happy and relaxed (and Checo was drunk as a skunk. Lewis apparently doesn't drink, or he does not drink excessively, that's why he made a non-alcoholic tequila, a sacrilege for me, as mexican) (also, I must admit that Checo parties hard, making him super idiotic and sleazy. I mean, I love the man, but he has his flaws). Anyways, here's the video if you want to check it out:

Sorry anon, I didn't find it on youtube.

So, naturally, all the fangirls (I'm a girl, BTW, too old for this DTS croud) were making crazy stories about a bromance-romance, that increased because we remembered this tweet:

Roscoe is Lewis' pet, so adorable and famous like his dad. He jumped into Checo's car, and Checo took this picture and tagged Lewis. Something usual between them, tagging each other with things. So as other fans had pointed out, not only Roscoe knew Checo and his car, but felt comfortable enough to jump into it and chill there.

Also, in a team dynamic with Max, Checo remembered the tweet and clarified that Roscoe doesn't travel that far when Max suggested the picture was taken in Australia, and also knows that Roscoe is vegetarian.

This was the moment when we felt like this:

We thought they were going to be the BFF of the F1, they seemed to be chillin' outside the grid and they seemed closer... but then... brocedes happened.

Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton were besties, we all know that (therefore the ship/frienship name). When they became teammates at Mercedes... oh boy, things got ugly. I believe that their friendship being in decline was something that influenced the closeness between Checo and Lewis, but that's just my opinion.

2016 was the year that decided everything. Lewis focused all his energy in beating Britney (sorry, I had to use that nickname at least once, I know Nico hated it, but I couldn't resist), and his friendship/whatever else was going on with Checo faded away.

Nico won the championship (but honestly, it was brutal, it destroyed their friendship), and he retired, and Lewis seemed to regain balance and focus again. But it was never the same with Checo, and if we hoped for something to revive, 2021 ended those dreams, when Checo was brought to RedBull to help Max win the championship, and that meant blocking Lewis path as long as he could. I don't want to enter to the whole 'Lewis was robbed' discussion, but it was a riot.

Additionally, on a side note, Checo also had a good relationship with Nico Rosberg, so it was like he was in the middle of their breakup.

Still, they seem friendly nowadays, Checo keeps making small talk with Lewis, and honestly, and I clarify, IN MY OPINION, Lewis always looks very fond of Checo, and he smiles differently with him. Again, in my delusional opinion.

Like for example:

So, in conclussion anon, even when they WERE close back then, now they seem friendly and fine with each other. When they get together in the interviews, they always gossip and smile, and Canada 2024 gave us little Chewis crumbs (this was the ship name, until Charles Leclerc joined the party and now is also the name of the Charles/Lewis pairing).

Phewww, sorry anon, I know you didn't expected this rambling, but I hope you made it this far and I could answer your question.

And I'm glad to see more Checo fans around here, I was feeling like this all the time.

Oh, and please, pleaseeeee, consider this my take on things, my opinion and fangirl delusions, if you don't agree and you think I'm crazy, that's fair, but no need to be nasty about it or call me names.

Who wants me to ramble about Checo/Nico next? O Checo/Esteban? Ohhh, that would be wild!

[venuscnjunctpluto]

Observations Pt 7.

Credits: @venuscnjunctpluto

* Jesse’s Lilith is in Billie’s 12th house. This is such scary synastry to me because you don’t see how the Lilith person can be manipulating you or even trying to seduce you.

*scorpio risings have something noticeable about their ‘glabella’ (space in btw the eyes specifically the smooth area above the nose I had to Google it lol) I notice Scorpio risings have glabella’s that protrude which makes their eyes even more noticeable and intense. And it makes them look like a skunk lol (ex: Taylor swift, dita von teese, Natalie Portman, Chaka Khan, and Sydney Sweeney)

*moon square Venus people are the epitome of Candy Heron in mean girls. They end up in friendships and relationships that worse their emotional well-being. It’s usually summed up to them not being able to be themselves around their “friends” or partners.

*libra risings have pudgy noses with smaller nostrils while Aries risings have defined noses with larger nostrils. You can usually guess these two by their noses

*Capricorn rising women 🤝 elaborate ponytails, long braids, bangs idk their hair gives off power puff girl vibes

*the way Pisces placements get talked to is ridiculous to me. People will talk to them like literal children which is very demeaning.

*simone biles just got married congrats to her! Her husband has so many prominent cancer placements and 0 degree libra mars. Civilized cardinal placements have such big husband/wife energy it’s insane. Very romantic and taking the time you learn you as a person. They also have Venus trine Venus, mars conjunct mars, moon conjunct moon synastry 💕

*kelis is the perfect example of a Leo dominant. She wears so many vibrant colors, dyed her hair often, and always carried confident aura.

*I notice Scorpio Venus women defend plastic surgery and those who get it. I know three of them who defend the kardashians like crazy (even though ppls problem is the lying about surgery but anywho). I think it’s bc they would get plastic surgery as well if they could.

*venus-uranus/aqua Venus placements make friends so easily it’s insane. They’ll get reposted on social media a lot as well.

*Ik this guy with cupido conjunct mars and he’s a huge flirt and player. I have cupido conjunct mars and I think it attracts players towards me it’s been so many situations a guy has tried to hide his player tendencies but I always found out eventually. I think this is a red flag placement🚩🚩🚩🚩

*i have cupido in the 8th so does Barack Obama, Ryan gosling, Rihanna, Monica Bellucci, Elizabeth Taylor, Cardi B. This might be a very seductive placement these ppl probably go all in when they’re attracted to someone. Or they might use their sexuality to get their crushes.

*zoe kravitz playing Selina Kyle and having Venus conjunct pluto makes sense. She can pull off darker looks and I notice women w this look like cats. Ryan destiny is also a good example of this.

* a lot of my celeb crushes I have their Venus in my 1st. Matthew Gary gubler, Rob Lowe, Prince, Johnny depp, Cillian Murphy etc…the house person can admire the Venus persons’s style.

*uranus-asc have something unique about their appearance and usually it’s a cleft chin (ex: Ben Affleck, Troian Bellisario, Adele) I have this aspect as well and I have one

*virgo venuses 🤝 wearing black clothes and glasses

*sag venuses 🤝wearing goofy graphic t-shirts

*hilaria baldwin has a sag venus and obviously that’s a indicator of being into other cultures. I notice ppl who tend to be fixated on or appropriate other cultures have sag or aqua venuses *insert timothee chalamet’s rap video lol*

*in defense of Austin butlers sexy voice…a lot of Taurus risings have voice changes or issues. Miley Cyrus’s voice has gotten incredibly deeper as well because she developed a condition. Unpopular opinion I think his voice just changed😭

* Saturn-asc and people thinking you’re older bc you are reserved. They’re the kid who sat down quietly and read books or knitted while everybody else was running around. Even when we have other carefree placements our Saturn-asc makes them barely noticeable at all during first impressions. We also love vintage clothing (ex: Keith powers) I saw a similar post but I agree that this can make someone’s rising traits develop more as they get older. As an Aries rising I didn’t start working out or asserting myself more until I got older.

Stars with Venus-asc tend to be really charismatic and funny during interviews. (Ex: Rihanna, keke Palmer, Megan the stallion, and lizzo)

*saturn-sun people have very strict fathers or male figures who tried to control them a lot growing up. This can make them very hard on themselves as they get older and I notice a lot of lawyers have major Saturn aspects.

* two prominent stem malfunctions (challenger explosion and the Columbia explosion) happened during Aquarius season

[shieldofiron]

Vibe Check Part 8

You Can Sleep When You're Dead

The Frat Boy Au

Read Previous on Ao3 or tumblr.

Steve doesn’t know what time it is when the door swings open.

“Honey, I’m home!” Billy announces in a booming voice, flinging his keys vaguely in the direction of the hooks by the door.

“Sorry, Steve.” Carver bustles in, scooting around Billy and grabbing the wastepaper basket, positioning it next to Billy’s bed.

Steve blinks into the light coming from the hallway, seeing only the vaguest outline of a female form. Did Billy bring home a girl from the bar? Maybe Carver did, because he can’t imagine a girl wanting to stick around for Billy in this state.

Only a few people can handle Billy like this. Argyle and Argyle’s girlfriend Eden are used to him. Steve is pretty used to it too, although he’s gone a few weeks without it.

Is it weird to say he’s missed it. Missed Billy’s drunken rants about gossip, the way he moves a little sloppier, not so tightly wound.

Steve misses him. Present tense. He feels like all he does lately is miss him.

And his eyes hurt but he refuses to close them, watching Billy take out his wallet and lay it on his dresser with supreme concentration. Steve'd been up the night before reading the queer theory that Robin had sent him because apparently gay porn and being in love with a man wasn’t enough.

And he’d also held Robin’s hair tonight when she’d puked in the bushes. Luckily Heather Holloway agreed to walk her back to Heather’s sorority house or he’d have let her sleep here too. Blessedly Eddie’s girlfriend had taken the night off too, so at least they didn’t have to contend with that too.

When he’d finally gotten around to asking about Billy, the party was over, and only Eddie had offered a halfhearted explanation.

Guilt crept over him now as he watched Billy struggle out of his jeans, bare ass on full display.

Steve pushed himself up and reached over to his desk to retrieve the open box of Alka Seltzer. Billy snatches it out of his hand before Carver can add it to a bottle of water.

“For me? Oh, Stevie. You shouldn’t have,” Billy began to struggle with the paper wrapper.

“I’ve got it,” Carver said.

“I’ll just eat them dry,” Billy said.

Carver winced.

“He will too,” Steve muttered, “get in bed, asshole. Quit fucking around.”

Billy drops the alka seltzer to the floor and Carver topples over trying to retrieve it with a very un-Carver-like giggle. 

Great. They’re both drunk as skunks.

At least that’s a good excuse as to why Billy yanks on a pair of Steve’s sweats and pulls back Steve’s covers to get in beside him.

“Hey!” Steve is cold for a moment before it’s replaced with a blistering guilty heat and Billy, warm and sweet.

Billy snuggles right up next to him and takes the offered bottle from Carver like a little princeling, born to the Manor. Steve looks blearily towards the hallway but it’s empty now. Maybe he imagined the girl after all.

“Billy, you can’t-” Carver says, frowning.

“It’s fine. We’ve shared beds plenty of times,” Steve says weakly. It’s true. They bunked together last year on the ski trip and it was no big deal.

They were just plastered from ankle to chest and Billy’s hair was adorably askew after he threw off his t-shirt.

“Have it your way.” Carver throws up his hands and he moves the trash can to Steve’s side, throwing Billy an inscrutable look.

Billy sucks down the still fizzing water bottle with a disgusting slurp before turning into Steve’s chest, curling into himself.

It is disgusting of Steve’s heart to skip, but it does, and it’s disgusting that he thinks w e’re not alone with a mix of disappointment and panic. But he does.

Steve is disgusting, not because he has gay porn on his phone or because he has feelings for Billy. But because he can’t control these wayward thoughts, can’t seem to corral himself. He wants to brush Billy’s static-y curls back. He wants to feel Billy’s sweat sticky skin and have it not be a big deal but it is.

“Thanks, Carver,” Billy croaks. “I’m still gonna kick his ass.”

“I know, Cheryl.” Carver nods. “You… you take care of yourself, alright?”

“I’ve got him,” Steve says.

Carver nods again, like a little blonde bobblehead. “Kay. Uh… goodnight. Want me to get the light?”

“Yeah. Yes,” Steve says, worried that his voice is giving him away. He should ask Carver to stay. Not because anything’s gonna happen. Just because he can’t be alone with these thoughts.

And then they’re alone in the dark. Steve and Billy. Not alone like that, just… alone.

Steve lies stiff as a board while Billy won’t stop curling closer.

“You have a good time?” Steve asks after a period of silence that feels at once way too long and way too short.

Billy snuffles a little, adorably, “Yeah.”

“Why’d you leave the party?” He hates how he sounds. Needy, like a girlfriend.

Something seems to wash over Billy then, and his limbs rustle a little, settling around Steve a little differently.

“No reason,” he says lightly. “Carver and I just decided to go out for a bit.”

The stab of jealousy is expected, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Billy never used to leave a party Steve was at. Not without taking Steve. And the feeling is worse close up, with the bear sticky smell of Billy skin tight.

He could just turn his head and kiss Billy and get pushed away. He could push Billy out of the bed, too. Both would probably be a relief.

So he’s not sure why he chooses the pain. He stays there, breathing lightly. Not trying to touch Billy, and not moving away either. Lightning crackles over his skin with every brush against Billy. It’s so close to what he’s imagined when he’s trying not to imagine it.

They could be together so easily. Walk each other to class and come back to their room. Kiss and play wrestle and fuck with each other and fuck too. They could be together, all the things Steve has wanted forever, if Billy wouldn’t hate his guts for him even suggesting it.

He’s only ever been on the edge of feeling this once before, with Nancy. He thought they could be everything to each other: best friends and lightning and thunder.

But that was all a lie.

And this is too much to take in at once. Being gay is the easiest part to understand, it almost feels soothing.

But being in love with Billy is much harder, much more painful. It feels like he’s seeing a glimpse of everything he’s dreamed of again, only to see it dashed before it even had a chance.

And Steve knows it’s shabby that he hasn’t been talking to Billy, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He wants to be near him so badly but he doesn’t know if he can bear it.

And so he just lies there, not moving, listening to Billy’s breathing even out, feeling Billy’s arms go heavy. Until Steve eventually can join him in that in between place, letting go.

[casual-tarot]

Pick a Pile: What your friends love about you

Pile 1

You're an optimist! You see the good in just about every situation and you see the endless possibilities ahead of you. You're not one to back down just because the going gets tough. If you get beat down by life, you always bounce back up. Your friends admire this about you, they wish they could have your optimism, could see the world from your eyes. You're also an incredibly and creative person. You're dream job may include being a creative in some way; music, art, photography, writing, etc. Your friends love your creations and are inspired by them. You are a very generous person as well, if someone needs your help, you won't hesitate to do what you can. You Love helping people if you're able to. And that's the thing, you know when to pull back and away from things. If you need time to think or to heal, you pull back and spend time alone to rejuvenate. You won't overextend yourself and that makes people admire you. You might also be a healer, a good one at that. You help lift people up without straining yourself. You welcome help from others and pat them on the back for a job well done. Inspiring!

Lucky Colors and Numbers; Shades of Orange, Shades of Pink, Fuchsia, Hot pink, White, Green, Light Shades of Blue, 5, 9, 19, 22, 48, 55, 74

Signs, Symbols, and Phrases; Skunks, Spiders, Foxes, Arctic Foxes, Flowers, Pink Flowers, Snow, Webs, The Moon, New Moon, The Night Sky, Stars, The Galaxy, Uranus, Mars, Wine and Wine Glasses, Leo, Scorpio, Pisces, 2, 22, 9, 3, 33, 12, 99

Some Advice: Spend some time with friends. Hone in on your creativity, make something new. Take a break, go on vacation if you can, maybe somewhere with a beach or a lake, maybe you can even surf a little bit. Focus on some of your hobbies, enjoy yourself. Focus on self love, though I get the feeling that you're already doing that. Buy some new clothes and/or accessories. Honestly your doing pretty well for yourself and I don't feel like I need to give you much advice, it seems you k ow perfectly well how to take care of yourself. Good for you!

Pile 2

You are kind and extremely loyal. Your friends feel like they can trust you with just about everything. You always stand with them to help make the best decisions they can, and you always lift them up. You're very supportive and your friends are incredibly thankful for that. You're very intuitive and you tend to trust your gut. Your friends admire this because your gut is usually correct. You're very good at picking up on vibes and will clock a bad person as soon as you meet them. Sometimes you get overwhelmed with priorities going on in your life, but you always take a step back and let yourself breath. As soon as you realize you're stressed, you stop and think. You plan and map things out, and you make sure to add some leisure time in there as well(although I think you could stand to take a bit more time for yourself). You refuse to let things overwhelm you, too stubborn to let things really pile up. You're friends admire your drive, and wish they could hold that same ambition. You seem to be well connected to people. Maybe you know a lot of people and are good friends with most of them, or maybe you only know a handful that you have an extremely close bond with. Either way, you are well liked and people feel like they can talk to you about anything, even if you just met. You aren't very judgmental, you tend to see everyone's point of view, even if you don't agree with them. You're friends wish they had that same optimistic view in people. You don't focus on the bad things happening in life, you take it in stride with grace. You aim for success, you're ambitious but not in a way where you let it consume you. You are very healthy about taking breaks. Your friends really admire that one lol. You seem like a very compassionate person, you're friends are very thankful for that.

Lucky Colors and Numbers; Light plum, Whites, Lighter Purples, Light Browns, Beige, Caramel Browns, Coffee Stained Browns, Shades on the Spectrum of Light Orange to Hot Pink, Gray's, Light and Pastel Pinks, 10, 8, 99, 48, 22

Signs, Symbols, and Phrases; Whales, Butterflies(especially purple ones), Peacock's(especially males), Ants(especially if they're lined up), Snakes, Seals, Hawk's, Turkey Vultures, New Moon, Waxing Crescent Moon, The Moon as a Whole(Especially Crescent), Uranus, Venus, Neptune, Scorpio, Aquarius, Capricorn, Aries, Taurus, Fire and Flames, Fire signs, Plants, Sprouts, Earth signs, Farming, Wine and Wine Glasses, 10, 6, 12, 3, 9, 2, 4, 22, 33, 7, 77, 66, 1

Some Advice: You may have a hard time listening to friends. Whether that be because you're too busy or focused on your own problems or because they sometimes bring you down, it's good to take a moment to sit down and listen to them. Lend an ear. That being said, don't over extend yourself, I'm not saying to go way out of your way to comfort someone. If you don't have the time or mental strength, don't force it. But it is definitely a good reminder for you to check in on your friends and see how they're doing. I think you have a lot of good karma, and it's coming back your way. All that good you put out into the world if finally coming back to you, good things in your future! I'm getting the vibe that some of you don't think you deserve good karma or didn't do enough good deserve it, but rest assured you did do good. You deserve all the good things coming your way, even if you don't believe it. It doesn't matter if you think you deserve it or not, the universe knows and is sending back your good karma like punch to the face haha.

Pile 3

Immediately getting the vibe that you're adventurous. You like to have fun and chill out. Maybe a night owl? You love going out with friends. You may be the type to buy the next round of drinks if you're able to. Your friends just think you're an overall cool person to hang out with. Rarely do they think of going somewhere without you. You are a strong, confident person. Someone who isn't afraid to stand up for a friend or to send back an order you know is wrong. But you're also kind, in a loud energetic sort of way. If you watch anime, think of those beefy sunshine characters(like kirishima or goku) that are always smiling and yelling, thats the vibe I get from you haha. You have a critical eye, maybe a good sense of intuition, you know the perfect path to take to get what you want. This applies with people, places, and even events. Your friends trust you make the right call in a lot of things. You seem like a leader, it might never be said but you might be the one introduce your friends to new places and experiences. Your friends really look up to you. You're not one to look back at "what ifs," you make your decisions and continue forward assured, knowing you made the right choice at that moment. You know you can't change the past and continue on into the future, knowing it's your past that has made you into who you are today. When you make a decision, you go all in on it, confidently, even if it turns out to be "wrong" later on. You pride yourself in not dwelling on past mistakes. You are very assured of yourself, whether that be in personality, looks, your job, whatever. You know your worth in all aspects and don't let people talk down to you because of it. You are very confident in spending your money, when you go out especially. Like I said before, the type to buy a round for everyone or pay for dinner. Rest assured, you're friends don't love you because of this, they love you because of you. They don't care if you have the money to hang out because they just want you to be there. You're very generous with your close friends, and they love giving back when they can. I'm getting the sense that they love getting you gifts and paying for the check as a thank you. They see your overt generosity as charming, something they fondly roll their eyes at. They are thankful to have you as a friend.

(Note: I had a lot of trouble articulating myself with this one, maybe that's something you struggle with too. You might have so much to say in your brain but your mouth can't keep up haha. I'm hearing adhd for some of you.)

Lucky Colors and Numbers; All Shades of Purple, Peaches and Light Pinks, Salmons, Fuchsia, Dark Blue, Black, White, Light Browns and/or Beiges(especially for accessories), 74, 57, 85, 88, 14, 33, 56, 55, 32, 5, 87, 91, 911

Signs, Symbols, and Phrases; Hawk's, Snakes, Whales, Blue Whales, Mice, Sharks, Cougars, Ants, Coyotes, Spiders, Rabbits, Gray Rabbits, Salmons, Koi Fish, Dolphins, White flowers, the Sea, Waves, Mountains, Snow, Yellow flowers, Blues, Reds, Twilight, Evening Sky, Pink Sky, Webs, Stars, Koi Fish Art, Dark Purple, Dark Purple Sky with Stars, A Dark Purple Sea Glittering in the Light, Chiron, Pluto, The Sun, Mercury, North Node of the Moon, New Moon, Waxing Crescent Moon, Last Quarter Moon, Full Moon, Virgo, Aries, Pisces, Aquarius, Libra, Sagittarius, Windy Clouds, Fast Moving Clouds, Storm Clouds, Puffy Clouds, Fire and Flames, 5, 55, 555, 10, 4, 6, 1010, 1, 7, 44, 3, 33, 11, 77, 444, 333, 777, 7777, 22

Some Advice: I get the feeling that you love hanging out with friends, but remember to take some time for yourself too. Go out alone, just chill, or maybe even meet new people. Maybe take a vacation for yourself, or with a loved one, away from your group of friends and just with the people/person/pet closest to you lol. Balance your alone time with the time you spend with friends, even your extroverted side needs a break sometimes. Take a day off or stay home when you would normally go out. Watch TV, play some video games, or try something new altogether. Try out some new creative hobbies, or get back into old ones. I'm getting the vibe that you haven't been letting your creativity shine lately, let it out. Your work is perfectly balanced, what I mean by that is you can take a break. Everything is ok, they can handle a day or two without you there helping. So take a day off from work too, even if you don't think you need it. It can still help! Some of you definitely overwork, so you people especially should heed this advice. Take whatever resonates with you. I guess the major message here is basically this; take a break, take a vacation, and let yourself relax alone.

[michellemisfit]

Tag Game Wednesday

Thank you @spookygingerr for making this week’s tag game, and @energievie @lingy910y @jrooc @suzy-queued @deedala @crestfallercanyon for tagging me

this wednesday's tag game we're talking hairrrr 👩🏻‍🦰

what is your current hair like?

@rutherinahobbit just gave it a bit of a re-dye so it’s mostly dark brown, with some bleached streaks. It’s got a bit a low key Cruella deVille / Skunk vibe going for it :)

what is your natural hair like?

Brown. Straight. With a cowlick front right.

what’s you favourite hair style/colour you’ve had?

Ah man, don’t make me pick! So much of my hair has been awesome!

Ultimately I think it was my rainbow faux hawk though. That was AWESOME!

And then I gave Jerry the Alpaca a matching hair do when I took him to Pride. Good times.

what hair style/colour do you find most attractive on other people? (if you have a preference)

I love intricate braids (because I suck at doing them!!!) and undercuts and colours. Just… interesting stuff, y’know? Think Natalie Dormer in Mockingjay!

what’s your biggest hair regret?

I don’t really have any. It’s hair. If you dye it and it looks bad you can cut it. If you cut it and it looks bad you can cut it again. Worse things have happened at sea, y’know? But I was pretty said when I eventually found a single exception to my claim up to that point of ‘I can pull off any hair colour, platinum blond to jet black…’ - turns out I can NOT pull of ginger. That was sad. Was ginger for two days and freaked the shit out of myself and Ruth every time we looked at my hair. Dyed it dark auburn very sharpish after lol 🤷🏽‍♂️

what’s the longest your hair as ever been?

I never felt very girly, and therefore I never wanted to have long hair. Also I hated my mother brushing my hair (so painful!!) so the shorter the better. Then I got a bit older and tried growing it out. This is the longest it ever got. That’s me at… 17/18 maybe?

what’s the shortest your hair has ever been?

We had an open day at the farm where we sheared sheep and humans for charity. It was so much fun!! This is me and my sheep Willow, before and after.

what’s your go to style when you’re due a hair wash?

Alice band. Which ironically always leads to people telling me how cute I look. And then I feel the need to confess that I had to Alice band the hair because it was just THAT filthy, it couldn’t be loose anymore… hahaha

That was fun! I’m tagging @rutherinahobbit @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @vintagelacerosette @too-schoolforcool @darlingian @palepinkgoat @crossmydna @celestialmickey @creepkinginc @rereadanon @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @ian-galagher @iansw0rld @ohkate @lynne-monstr @faejilly @sickness-health-all-that-shit @junemermaid @blue-disco-lights @sleepyfacetoughguy @francesrose3 @stocious @thepupperino

[fairuzfan]

Tbh this may just be me but my patience for certain people getting mad at being accused of being zionists, and specifically pointing at how they have said that they want Peace and Freedom and it's important to focus on the Humanity of People has become fucking negative (which is all different from when Bibi says he's securing Peace and Freedom as he focuses on the Humanity of Israelis, I guess. Or any time the US has tried it in Pick Your War).

Either explain your material goals or accept that people will get mad at you when you refuse to elaborate on your puddle-deep statements. Politics is material conditions all the way down and the current material conditions are that Palestinians are being massacred by a genocidal state whose heads have repeatedly affirmed that intent!

Badly paraphrasing Kwame Ture here, but any analysis that excludes the oppressor will blame the oppression. The presumption of a need to make Both Sides Understand And Communicate assumes that Palestinians hold significant structural power here and have the ability to come to some theoretical political table—that they are thus doing this, effectively, to themselves, because they don't prioritize Humanity and Peace and Freedom enough. That's what good vibes politics gets you.

(I am so sorry for this being long, I am just, so furious with it, especially after I learned today that an old classmate was hurt by former IOF soldiers w/skunk spray during the Columbia University SJP protest. Just. Goddamn.)

I think you put it into words really well in that there are no material analysis of actual concrete steps theyre providing or stating that Palestinians haven't already said better and more often and they tend to pass it off as their own ideologies rather than... you know... recognizing Palestinians have been fighting this fight for 3-4 generations. Like a guarantee you any discussion you've had we've already had amongst ourselves. So like actively excluding us from those discussions — which is nothing new btw we've always been excluded from them but this time it's easier to push back — is in fact doing harm and refusing us a way to advocate for ourselves.

Truly I've seen it all — there is no way to "peacefully" live under occupation and subjugation for Palestinians. Like no, man that doesn't exist. Even within Israel, Palestinians aren't referred to as "Palestinians" they are referred to as "Arab Israelis" like we cannot even claim ourselves as Palestinians.

You have to acknowledge that at a certain point you yourself are contributing to the dangerous atmosphere by making everything "too complex" to get anything done. I remember there was a talk with Amjad Iraqi (a contributor to al-shabaka who grew up in israel but is palestinian) and another podcaster who is... peak liberal zionist lol but i listened to it cuz amjad was there — that the Podcaster was saying (paraphrasing) "there's an equilibrium of 'freedom' for Palestinians and 'security' for Israelis, and one side pushes the other side further and further away from the center where they could meet so how to you think we reconcile differences" and amjad responds in a way that I admire (paraphrasing) in that he mentions that from the beginning of this equation, zionism has always had the upper hand in that all their demands have been met and self determination for Palestinians have never been recognized (end paraphrase) so it's not equal to say "well we want peace for both Palestinians and israelis so let's block off Palestinians from discussing definitions for these terms" that fundamentally impact them in ways they will never impact nonpalestinians who would BENEFIT from maintaining the status quo.

Within the article from Alma they say "do something vulnerable and ask the other person what their definition of zionism/antizionism is" as if there aren't very transparent people in this world that want "peace" and don't want a ceasefire. Like that's actually the predominant opinion in the world. They straight up say "the only peace in the middle east is if we get rid of hamas so we can't allow a ceasefire" and people run by that definition and say "sorry Palestinians :( we gotta get rid of hamas :( there's nothing we can do about this.... its for peace :("

So I think you're doing far more harm by pretending there's a cognitive difference between zionist and antizionists that theyre just not communicating, which, zionists are very obvious about communicating (which also, it's necessary to boost Palestinians when defining antizionism in this case because when we point out the very real harm of things affecting us we would like a say in how people define the movement meant for our liberation). But the article never said that throughout the entire thing. It just said "maybe you guys have a cognitive dissonance of words" but like.... at this point, if you still ally yourself under the term "zionist" with literally all we have been screaming these past few months then no, I don't think you're necessarily operating in good faith.

And like I don't think tri*utary is a zionist necessarily but they're certainly a zionist sympathizer and like I don't trust them either.

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Angst with a Happy Ending, Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking,

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: A girl's night out gets steered in a different direction, much to your disgruntlement. You meet the human version of a Ken doll, who happens to be a Naval Aviator and are not impressed.

Masterlist

Chapter 1: Lieutenant Mansplain

You're on your way back from the bathroom when you see that the table you left your two friends at is now empty.  Scanning around the bar you spot Lydia’s unmistakable red hair in a sea of khaki clad bodies around the pool table.  This was supposed to be a stereotypical “Girls Night Out” to help soothe Beth’s (the other friend lost to military uniforms and god knows what else) recently broken heart. 

You were looking forward to it after the week you had at work.  The good news was that the latest Darkstar prototype had made it Mach 10, the bad news was that it vaporized somewhere over the Sierra Nevada mountains. By some divine reason or mostly the life preservation pod that you had worked months on worked exactly as designed and the pilot survived without injury.  The pod had worked a lot better than the heat shielding had. Such was life working for Lockheed Martin's legendary Skunk Works.  The cutting edge of aircraft design meant big successes and failures.  

Instead, Lydia has turned it into a fishing expedition, the girl has a serious military kink and was probably drawn in by some tractor beam to all the uniforms, nametags, and those ribbon thingies you can never remember the correct name for.  Sighing deeply, you walk up to the bar and catch Penny’s attention for another gin and tonic, you're going to need it for the long extraction mission that awaits you around the pool table.  As you wait, you look over and see the usual pilot stereotypes, (yup, they’re pilots - unmistakable with gold wings on their chest and aviator sunglasses hanging from their collars.)  Posted up in the corner on a bar stool messily eating popcorn is the only guy wearing glasses; you peg him as a flyover state guy who probably married his highschool sweetheart. Most likely a WSO, he seems too unassuming to be a pilot.  Beth is talking to him more out of boredom than anything other motivation.  She's watching Lydia work her magic out of the corner of her eye.  Leaned over the pool table is a brunette gal with her hair pulled back into a bun so severe it makes your head ache in sympathy looking at it; she’s got a coy smile on her face as she sinks the last ball to win the pool game.  The vibe she gives off is all confidence with a touch of “I’ll be nice and not kick your ass” along with a bit of sweetness.

You'll probably get along well.  She is rolling her eyes at Lydia’s attempt to engage a rather tall guy with scrubby hair and an unexplainable mustache out of a porno from the 70s.  He had to have lost a bet to have that mustache, right?  Whatever Lydia is rolling out, this guy is reeling in.  Odds are 3:1 that Lydia will fuck that guy in the back of her Subaru before the night is over.  You make a mental note to ask if she brought condoms next time you get near her.  

Thankfully your G&T slides across the bar to your waiting hand.  Penny leans over and says over the classic rock blaring out of the jukebox, “Lydia’s up to it again, you want to bet on it?”  You roll your eyes and laugh darkly, 

“Not this time, it’s already a done deal the way they’re looking.”  

The pornstacher (as he has been named in your head) has his hands on Lydia’s hips and is leaning down to whisper something in her ear.  You shake your head, grab your  drink, and take a hefty pull from the only thing that is going to make this next hour of your life bearable.  Penny shouts over the noisy bar, “Good luck!”  

“Here we go again,” you mutter to yourself as you make your way over to the corner.

Walking over to the pool table to hopefully get your friends back on track for the original mission which was supposedly to include too many girlie shots, trash talking men, and some karaoke if you made it that far before needing to call an Uber. Lost in your thoughts, you collide with another form wearing the ubiquitous khaki.  Before you know it, your  drink, your liquid sanity is now dripping down the front of your shirt and onto the very broad chest of a very tall blond man with freakishly green eyes.  

“God damn it,” you shout. It’s your  go to swear of choice.  The blond guy steadies you with hand on your  upper arm and says with a noticeable twang, 

“Well that’s one way to guarantee I buy the prettiest gal in here a drink, let me get you a new one.  What’s your poison?”  

The way he smiles after what he thinks is his witty retort is straight from a 1950s toothpaste commercial.  You can hear the “ding” and almost see the animated sparkle.  You roll your eyes, and say, 

“I’ll take a replacement, thank you. Just know that’s the only drink you’ll be buying me tonight.  Gin and Tonic,  tell Penny it’s for Elsa and she’ll know which gin to use.”  

He laughs, “Ice queen in name and presence.  

"I loathe that movie with an undying passion."

“Well, Icy, I’ll be back in a few and we can get to know each other a little bit better.”  He smiles that damn toothpaste commercial smile again and heads over to the bar.  

Finally, you reach Lydia and she is just starting to reel in pornstacher with her usual playbook.  Laughing too loud at jokes that can't possibly be that funny, her silly little slap to his chest that lingers a bit too long, leaning way too far in to hear what he’s saying.  It’s a really well defined plan, she could package it and sell it given her success rate.  

“Hey, Lydia!” you shout over the music, some bastard has played Slow Ride for the second time in 20 minutes.  She leans out from the bar stool she’s sitting on while the pornstacher's hands still are attached to her waist.  

“Elsa!  Glad you found us!  Here, meet everybody!”  she says like she’s greeting you at the door for a dinner party.  Lydia definitely had the social talent to get people together wherever she went. 

She nods at pornstacher, 

“This is Rooster, he’s a pilot.” 

You're not sure if Rooster is a better name for him in your  head.  He nods at you in recognition.  She points over to flyover state guy and says, 

“That’s Bob, he’s a wizzo-wizard thingy.”  

Rooster laughs as she trips over the words partly because she gives zero fucks about what he actually does and her third or fourth cosmo is definitely hitting her.  

“At the pool table, that’s Phoenix, next to here is Coyote, then Fanboy, and Payback.”  

“Do any of these people have names that aren’t from American Gladiators?” 

She giggles way too long and then says in mock exasperation, 

“They’re call signs, silly.”  

You dryly respond, 

“I know what call signs are, Lydia.  Remember my dad was a pilot?”  

You look upwards for some kind of divine strength to endure whatever this all is.  You wonder where your drink is and scan the bar for the human Ken doll that owes you a G&T. The way Lydia is attached to Rooster you know this is going to be a long night and you're glad you live within walking distance of the Hard Deck. On cue a deep voice says,

“Here you go, little lady.  Penny knew exactly what you wanted.”

He takes a swig of his beer, and asks, 

“So your dad was a pilot?  Who’d he fly with?”  

You move past your irritation of the phrase, little lady.  It’s true you're definitely short at a whole 5’1" without heels.  Tonight you've got a pair that at least gets you to a respectable 5’5”, which is still nowhere near tall enough to be eye to eye with this guy.  

You breezily say, 

“The Navy.”  

He nods, 

“Well that’s good not sure I could be seen with someone not of the proper lineage.”  He starts in with the usual rapid fire “get to know you” questions, 

“Where are you from?” 

“Michigan,” you offer no other information. 

"You?"

"Texas."

“What brings you here tonight?”  

“It was supposed to be a girl’s night out to help Beth,” you cock your  head to Beth where she and Bob are showing each other pictures of their dogs, you assume. 

“She got dumped by some asshole Marine a few days ago."

He mutters, 

"Figures."

"However, Lydia has taken us on a different path,” you point to Lydia where she and Rooster are proving that personal space isn’t necessary.  you give it 10 minutes before she and Rooster will try to discreetly leave the bar for other activities.  “And that leaves me talking to you while I finish my drink and can hopefully go home and call this night over.”  

“Ouch, am I really that bad to look at and talk to?”

He puts on a mock frown for a second that he is confident makes him look cute before putting on his toothpaste commercial smile.

“I don’t even know your name and I'm not sure I even need to. I’m at the point of the evening where my  feet hurt from these stupid heels and I’m really just ready to go home, take my bra off, put on some comfy pants, and watch some shitty TV before I fall asleep. It's been a week at work." 

You finish your rant with a hefty swig of your drink. The mention of your bra coming off distracts him for a split second before he says, 

“Well, I can solve one of those problems, the name’s Hangman.”  

“Hangman, do you have a name that doesn’t sound like a cartoon character?” 

He laughs just hard enough that you can see the beginnings of laugh lines at the edge of his eyes.  

"Yes, my real name is Jake, Lieutenant Jake Seresin at your service, maam."  

“Okay, Jake.  I’ve got a question for you.  What’s the deal with pornstache, Rooster, or whatever the fuck his name is?  Lydia’s definitely putting out her trap line and he’s hooked on.  Good guy, creeper, weirdly close relationship with his mother, kicks puppies, or punches nuns?  Anything Lydia should be on the lookout for?” 

He laughs again, and says, 

“Naw, Rooster is mostly harmless.  I’m surprised he’s as bold as he is tonight, must be a bit of liquid courage. That’s how he got his call sign.  He can be kind of a chicken shit in the air, and the powers that be wouldn’t let us put “Chicken Shit” as his official call so sign so it had to be amended to be rated G. As for him being horrible,I can attest he leaves cabinet doors open and those awful mustache hairs all over the bathroom as I have the unfortunate luck of being his roommate for this assignment.”  

"My condolences. What about Bob, over there?”  

“He is either the most bland person ever to exist or a serial killer, I can’t figure it out. From one of those corn states Iowa, Nebraska, or whatever.” You were  correct on his point of origin.

This thought makes you laugh as you see Bob and Beth talking a little more animatedly about something that you can't make out from across the pool table.  She’s smiling and actually looks like she’s having a good time, so you resolve to stick it out for a while for Beth’s sake.  

"He married?" you ask in case you need to intervene before Beth's heart is engaged.

The thought makes him almost spit out his beer.  

"Nope. Can you imagine anyone wanting to have sex with him?" 

You nod in agreement.  Beth is now leaning in closer to Bob and her hand is inching closer towards his on the drink rail.

Damn, you'll actually have to make some conversation while you wait this wing-woman assignment out.  You have no worries about Lydia, she’s going to do exactly who or what she wants.  Beth worries you a little more, she is so tender hearted and kind that any time she cries you're ready to crack open your chest and give her a piece of your heart, despite it being described as “Colder than the dark side of the planet Pluto,” by an ex boyfriend. Of course you had to remind him that Pluto hasn't been a planet since 2006. The relationship was definitely done, so any bit of mental superiority you could keep was a bonus.  

“So, I take it you’re a pilot,” you wave your hand vaguely at the wings on his chest.  “What do you fly?”  

“Airplanes.”  He answers without any further detail.  You roll your eyes.

“I gathered that. What kind of plane?  You lugging cargo for the Navy, cruising around in a radar rig, or something more exciting?”  

“I didn’t think you’d know the difference, most people don’t.  I fly a F-18.”  

“Nice. Good aircraft. Too bad it's made by Boeing." 

The whole sentence flies past Jake's head without any notice. You had hoped that might start a discussion about the plane.  You're always interested in hearing from the people who actually end up flying your designs. The moment passes and when Jake's beer has been emptied, he leans out and calls to the group to see if they or anyone else is in need of a refresh.  A few raise their hands in agreement. You still have over half of your  drink left so you shake your head back and forth when he points to you.

He returns beers in hand and instantly reappears at your side. The second half of G&T Number One is spent discussing the climate differences of Michigan versus California versus Texas.  The conversation transitions into other vanilla topics.  You find that he shares a love of baseball and football.  

You discuss the Padres season in great detail.  That brings you to the bottom of your drink.  You take a look around to get a status check on your friends.  Lydia is now almost sitting on Rooster's lap, Beth is still talking with Bob and sharing a basket of popcorn.  She looks content, so you resign yourself to another drink.

G&T Number two finds you discussing books with Jake, not a subject you expected to talk about tonight. 

"I read a lot of nonfiction, history, aviation and military history, the natural world. I like learning things."

He responds, 

"There's only so much tv I can watch when I'm at sea, so reading a book is a nice break.  I prefer a good whodunnit or cheesy mystery novel.  The trashier the better."

"So, no life changing literature?"

He nods and finishes off his beer.  You're starting to notice that his pace is about twice that of yours.  A bit of quick math in your head determines his BAC is definitely in the tipsy territory heading towards sloppy.  

He returns with a new beer and a few tequila shots for the group. Jake offers one to you and you respond,

"Hard pass."

He shrugs and takes the shot and moves to the rest of the group.

G&T Number three is spent playing a game of pool with the rest of the group.  More shots come out and you see Jake go back to the bar a few times for another beer.  Jake uses the opportunity to lean over you to "help improve your  technique".  You enjoy the smug thought that he will likely be hungover tomorrow.  

The pool game finishes and you're in a good mood finally, just the right side of tipsy.  There's about an inch of your drink left and you're planning on heading out soon.  

Jake is instantly close and looming over you.  He is very tall compared to you and he reminds you of a giraffe the way he stretches his neck down to talk to you.  His drunkenness adds a slow loll to his presence.  You decide to throw out an easy question to round out the night, 

"So, tell me about being a fighter pilot."

He hears the question and you can almost see the brain cells connecting and searching his memory bank for something to say.

“It's a great gig. It's always amazing to me that those giant machines get up in the sky somehow," he responds in what feels like a very practiced way.

"You know how planes fly, Elsa?”  

“Yes, I actually have a–” you're interrupted by Jake and you suddenly feel an episode of mansplaining with a heavy side of drunk confidence coming on.  He grabs your drink from your hand and places it on the rail next to where you're standing. He gently grabs your upper arms and rotates you around so your back is against his chest.  

“Here, put out your arms.” 

You decide to play along for the eventual reward this conversation is going to bring. Out your arms go. He mirrors your arms with his and starts the most definitely memorized spiel. 

“It all works on how the wings are shaped, air goes faster over the top of the wing than the bottom of the wing because of the way it’s shaped, kind of like a teardrop on its side.  That creates the lift to get us in the air.  Follow me?” 

You nod, playing dumb for now. He takes his hands and moves them to your waist and continues, 

“That’s not enough though to get flying so we need to add thrust in the form of an engine." 

He has moved close enough behind you that you feel the not so subtle surge of his crotch against your ass when he says the word “thrust”. Your  eyes begin to roll at how cheesy this whole situation is.  

“And then wham-bam-thank-you-maam, we’re up in the air and flying.”  

As he says “up in the air”, he picks you up off the floor.  At this point, you're done, no matter how many gin and tonics you've had and no matter how good he smells, this is such a silly act you can't take it anymore.  You turn your  head, and say flatly, 

“You can put me down, now.”  

He obliges and you can see the mental calculus of him trying to determine how successful this party trick of his has been. The smug shit eating grin on his face makes what you're about to say even better.

During this time, Lydia has stopped weaving her web around Rooster, to lean out and see the look on your  face, the eye rolls, and your general impatience with the routine that she is curious what you'll say next. 

You turn around to face Jake, and you begin your rebuttal,

“Do you get a lot of women to drop their pants for you with that demonstration?  Decent explanation. If we’re going for 4th grade level science, but that might be as far as you got, who knows.  You did leave out a few important factors including the effects of drag, aircraft weight, pressure differential over the wing, you know the basics.”  

You hold up your hand ticking each item off on your fingers to emphasize your point.

His face freezes with one eyebrow arched up in alarm. This is where Lydia lets out her trademark guffaw cackle, and says, 

“You didn’t ask what she does for a living, did you?” 

Rooster has turned around and is looking satisfied that Hangman is going to go down in flames right there on the bar floor.   

“No, why does that matter?”  he croaks out, moderately alarmed.  

“I’ve got a Phd in aerospace engineering from Stanford and work for Lockheed Martin, you jackass."

Jake's eyebrows continue to rise and his face pales. You take a breath and continue,

"If you hadn’t interrupted me in the first place or even listened to a god damn thing I've said in the last two hours you might have picked that up. Like who else would know who makes an F-18, or who else would read a lot of aviation history books?  You could have saved yourself some embarrassment.  I design shit you haven’t even had the chance to fly yet or maybe won’t ever be granted the privilege of flying.” 

You emphasize your last point by jabbing your finger into his chest just left of his gold wings.

At this point the whole khaki crowd has stopped and is now listening to this exchange.  Snickers start to form around the pool table as Jake flushes with embarrassment.  

He stammers, “I didn’t know…I’m sorry.”  

You wave off his half ass apology with a dismissive hand flick,

“It’s okay, you keep trying that shtick and see who you can get into the sack with it.  Don’t worry your little pretty head about it. It’s been an evening and I think I’m going to head out.  Beth - Lydia?”

Beth replies,

“I’m good here for a few more minutes, I’ll text you when I get home.”  

Somewhere in this moment Lydia has moved into the final phase of her plan. You can hear her whispering in Rooster’s ear, 

“Want to go somewhere a little more quiet?” 

He nods enthusiastically like a kindergartner and grabs his beer as Lydia catches his hand and leads him towards the exit.  As she passes, you catch her arm for a quick second and lean in to whisper,

“You prepared? I’ve got some condoms in my purse if you need them.” 

She winks and pats her own purse, 

“All ready to rock and roll,” she whispers back, 

"I think this guy is going to need a Magnum, lucky me!”  

And with that bit of info Lydia has practically dragged Rooster out the door and is gone before you can even think to close your tab.  

You leave Jake gaping like a fish out of water near the pool table and head out to close out your tab.  Penny leans in as you sign the credit card receipt, and says, 

“That was stone cold, sister, he’s not a bad guy, mostly the ego that comes with pilots, but you might find he’s got more beneath the surface.” 

You sigh and reply, 

“Yeah, the presentation is good, but man, does the delivery and content need some work.  See ya around, Penny.”  

You're back at home in a loose hoodie from your undergrad years at Notre Dame, no bra, and comfy pants and with opening credits of Bridgerton rolling within 15 minutes.  

Chapter 2

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

[ecto-stone]

I thought it would be kinda funny if Dani didn't get what she wanted - to grow up to look like Vlad more like she wanted caused obvious reason being Danny clone with like some Vlad midmorph gene. ( Vlad original hair color and skunk stripe is the only Vlad thing that show up in her look) But she did get Vlad gender ambigious Vibe. that is very good in her book. Mr.Sexy Lady - Miss Handsome Gentleman

[drunkenskunk]

So, this thing I've been working on:

The antagonists of this fake "transcript of a military operation gone horribly wrong" are called Impact Security Services Solutions. They're meant to be a bunch of bloodthirsty jarhead mercenary operator types. You know the sort: Shadow Company from the Calls of Duty, the hundreds of PMCs from the Metal Gear games, the faceless grunts in Trepang2, the Heavy Echo troopers from Bulletstorm... the list of these nameless, faceless operator grunts designed specifically for you to mow down by the hundreds and not feel bad goes on and on forever.

In my ongoing mission to start drawing again, I'm going to attempt - emphasis on attempt, mind you - to sketch out what these assholes are supposed to look like. Both to get a better handle on what their vibe is like and what they're all about beyond "bloodthirsty jarheads," but also because... I'm curious. How am I going to translate the nebulous, indistinct shapes in my head into something solid? What would they look like in the seconds before Tuera turns them all into chunky salsa?

Step one: come up with a list of hardware these mercenaries would potentially use, so I can find some good reference photos.

I think I may need to call in a professional to help me out here. Hey @frogblast-the-ventcore, are you busy? Can you think of any cursed guns for a bunch of dipshit mercenaries to use?

[prozac-shaped-urn]

highlights of jean smart on snl

SINGING????? SHE'S SINGING?????????

"lesbians are obsessed with me" yes. yes we are. you're just now noticing jean? my god i thought hannah made that perfectly clear like two years ago with the "what can i say about jean smart that hasn't been type-screamed in all caps by every lesbian with an internet connection?"

girl what the fuck is up with that chimp skit. wha t the fuck. i'm so incredibly uncomfy and it also kinda reminds me of suzanne sugarbaker and noel (the pig) but more of a trailer park vibe

"i try to make art and they just want smut" THIS IS THE MOOD OF EVERY WRITER ON AO3

"math scores are through the roof" lmfaooooooooooooooo i mean yeah! they're reading it in porn form! duh!!! i'd also pay more attention if that were the case

i need this on my wall

i love her hair in the math book skit! very 70s farrah fawcett-esque

it's actually hilariously ironic that she's playing lucy ricardo when she never liked the show.

i'm in love with her 50s housewife hair it looks so GOOD on her like actually GOOD and no one looks good with that hair

"tu. soy. *angry drunk voice* gay." snldkfjsldkgjlakjs

i'm crying i'm fucking crying "are you gay? ... because frankly your accent is a little

the real housewives of santa fe is unironically something i would watch and judge with the snootiest opinion known to mankind (and the skit was wholly inaccurate - santa fe women don't drink their troubles away, they smother them with green chile)

I WANT THIS SKUNK HAIR

also whatttttt is up with this outfit

jean is so incredibly tall!!!! wtaf why is this news to me?

ok that's it i'm going to bed g'night!