#good morning specifically to the costume department for putting him in such a tight shirt

[cigar-aficionado]

anyway god yes i'm still thinking about oz's drug shipment pickup thermal under his fucking leather jacket thanks for asking .

[teacoffeeandwhatnot]

The Gay Agenda - Chapter 3

Whooo Chapter 3! Its Chanhun week. 

Please keep in mind, sentences written in Italic is what is being said by the panel, or people in the studio. Normal text is what is happening otherwise.

As always, also available on my Ao3!

(if you want me to tag you every time i update, please dont hesitate to message me and I’ll add it in the next chapter)

Honestly, Sehun felt a little bit pathetic. He’s had this massive crush on Chanyeol for about 3 years now, ever since the older had almost knocked him over at the orientation fair in his first year at university. Chanyeol had been walking backwards, animatedly talking to his friends, when he had tripped over his own feet and promptly toppled into Sehun. Sehun was ready to yell, already being on edge from having to adjust to the new environment and not really knowing anyone yet, but when he turned to face Chanyeol, he was startled into silence.

Chanyeol had been an odd mix of jock, with his tall stature and defined (so, so well defined) biceps and an overgrown puppy, with his soft face, big dumbo ears and doe eyes. Sehun was immediately infatuated with the older.

His infatuation grew into a full-on crush when he saw Chanyeol perform for the first time in the university’s talent competition. He had sung with his velvety smooth voice, whilst expertly playing the guitar, and Sehun was convinced he was In LoveTM.

But that was 3 years ago. Since then, Sehun had pined from a distance, treasuring every single little interaction he had with the older. Chanyeol had remembered him and sent him small smiles or waves whenever they crossed paths on campus, but they never had a proper conversation.

Sehun told himself that he would finally get over it and gather the nerve to just go up to Chanyeol and strike up a conversation with him, but chickened out every single time

So, when he saw the flyer to the show, it was pretty much a “fuck it” decision. Maybe this would be the perfect opportunity for him to get over Chanyeol, maybe meet someone new and mayyyybe even win a bit of money, which, being a university student, couldn’t hurt. (He knew deep down though, that it would never be that easy to forget about Chanyeol.)

Sehun decided to work in the costume store during the show. One, he loved costumes and since it was close to Halloween, it would probably never boring. Two, he loved to judge people for their terrible costume choices.

He had met his manager, a dismissive, pudgy middle-aged man, who actually worked there, but, for some reason that was escaping Sehun, he agreed to let the show put someone in his store. The man really didn’t seem like he’d be someone who would put up with something like that and Sehun mentally noted to not piss the man off.

His co-workers were a lot nicer, a lot of them around his age, seeming to be students or high schoolers, working part time. He was glad that there were some nice people, considering he didn’t really know anything about the store and was glad that there would be someone to help. Overall, his job was pretty easy. Keep the racks and shelves looking clean, help customers find items when they needed help, and clean out the changing rooms, should someone leave items in it. Of course, Sehun was doing all of these things pretty half-heartedly, considering he was there for another reason.  

“So, our second contestant, let’s see who this is,” said Holland, ruffling through a file.

“Oh Sehun, 24, currently a dance student in his 3rd year. Applied to, I quote ‘get over this pathetic crush I’ve been harbouring for this dude at my uni for way too long’,” he read aloud.

“Well sounds like Sehun is using this opportunity as a crush-be-gone mechanism,” Heechul mentioned.

“Precisely.”

“Well guys, how do we think he’s going to do,” Holland prompted.

“Well, he chose a costume store, which can be quite good, since the atmosphere is very relaxed and there’s a good opportunity to have a laid back, funny conversation with someone, so I don’t think he will be lacking in that department,” said Taemin.

Key chimed in, “I wish we could know what this crush of his looks like, because I want to see if he is going to go for someone that’s similar to him, or completely different.”

“I just hope some actual person his age will be there in the store at some point, because so far I’ve only seen parents or children, and I really hope he doesn’t hit on either, because that would just be….creepy”

“Yah, Daehwi, have some respect for your elders, I think he knows what he’s doing!”, Heechul scolded.

“Well let’s fucking hope so.” Daehwi mumbled under his breath.

He was bored. There was only so many snotty teenagers that he could help find the most ridiculous costumes for, some of which he had no idea what they even were (what the fuck was “bongocat”??). He had severely overestimated how many hot, grown men would be visiting the store, which looking back, was a stupid thought to begin with. The only adults that he had seen in the store so far, other than the staff, were tired parents accompanying their overly excitable children. Which….should’ve really been the realistic expectation Sehun should’ve set for himself.

He ended up loitering around the back of the store, trying to hide from his manager and not doing any real work. He even sneakily tried on some of the costumes, debating on whether to keep one on around the store, but realized that the boredom was making him slightly delusional and his normal clothes, which he had very carefully picked out that morning, and made sure to not clash with his silver hair, were definitely the better choice,

All of a sudden, his co-worker, Joy, a bright, tall, beautiful (seriously, if Sehun had a single straight bone in his body, he’d be all over that) walked by hastily, hissing “hottie in aisle 3, all yours” in his direction.

Him and Joy had bonded quickly that morning, both for distaste in their manager and the fact that Joy was super excited to have another gay person with her in the store, if only for one day. They had spent their whole morning break getting to know each other, and even if Sehun failed on the show today, at least he would walk away with a new, totally awesome friend.

Sehun perked up at the news of the “hottie” and made his way to the aisle…where he promptly turned around and hid behind the shelf. Shit. In the aisle, right in-front of the full-body, skin-tight (fuck) costumes, was Chanyeol, of all fucking people.  

Chanyeol being here was already bad enough, but on top of that, he had apparently died his hair over the weekend because, instead of the soft, fluffy brown hair he usually had, his hair was bright red and styled off his face, which….. dear lord. It looked so fucking good. His outfit didn’t help either. He was wearing a dark jean jacket over a flannel and t-shirt, paired with tight skinny jeans.

Sehun willed his breathing to calm down and wracked his brain on what to do. Obviously, this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Chanyeol, but the rules of the show were to find someone that he didn’t already know.

He eventually decided to walk up to Chanyeol.

“Sir, can I help you with something?”

When Chanyeol turned around and his face indicated that he recognized Sehun, the latter quickly lowered his voice and whispered, “Just act like you don’t know me, I’ll explain later!”

Chanyeol looked confused for a second, before apparently deciding to play along (thank god), since he continued, “Hi, yes, I’m looking for a costume for this Halloween party I’m going to.”

“Certainly, Sir, do you have anything specific in mind?”

“I was thinking Deadpool.”

“Good choice, Sir. If you would follow me, that would be in our superhero aisle.”

Chanyeol trailed after him, immediately tugging on Sehun’s heartstrings, since he looked like a lost puppy.

“Is this something along the lines of what you were thinking?”, Sehun asked, holding up a body suit printed with the Deadpool costume. Chanyeol’s eyes lit up, and he started nodding cutely.

“Ok, great. What size would you like so I can find it for you?”

“Uhhhh, I’m not sure to be honest,” Chanyeol replied, sheepishly.

“Can I ask how tall you are? Then I can estimate what size would fit you from there.”

“Oh, sure. I’m 6’5.” (Sehun groaned inwardly. Fuck.)

“Ok, let me just check.” He started rifling through the costumes before letting out a small “aha” and holding up two suits.

“So, I picked up two options, since you don’t know your size. I suggest you just try them both on and see which one fits best.”

Chanyeol nodded once again.

“The changing rooms are right over there. Would you like me to accompany you to the changing rooms, in case you need anything else?” (Sehun knew that he was laying it on a little thick, and that the store’s customer service was never this good, but he could honestly not care less at this point.)

“Oh yeah sure, Se-Sir.” Sehun grimaced at Chanyeol slipping up and almost calling him his name, but also felt a slight blush spreading on his cheeks at the cheeky grin Chanyeol sent his way.

Sehun made his way towards the changing rooms, held the curtain back on one of the stalls and handed Chanyeol the costumes while he entered.

“I’ll be waiting right over there,�� Sehun pointed towards a counter basically across from Chanyeol’s booth, “so give me a shout if you need anything. “

Chanyeol gave the Ok and closed the curtain. Well, closed was an overstatement. Although he did pull the curtain across the rail, he didn’t pull it all the way and Sehun was still able to see his back through the slit. He had a small internal battle, debating whether he should let Chanyeol know, but ultimately decide to just not look….which proved very difficult about 0.2 seconds later when Chanyeol took his shirt off and Sehun had the exquisite view of his muscly back. Fuck, that man was well built. Sehun really, honestly, tried to tear away his gaze and stop ogling, but he couldn’t. I mean, let’s be honest, how could he? Here he was, with the perfect view of his shirtless crush of almost 4 year in from of him, and he was supposed to look away? Seems unrealistic.  

Apparently, Sehun had kind of zoned out for a moment, because all of a sudden, Chanyeol turned around to walk out with his costume on and Sehun was definitely caught staring. Immediately, he felt his face go bright red and he tried to clear his throat awkwardly.

Luckily Chanyeol only smirked at him, which didn’t really make the situation much better for Sehun, but at least he wasn’t mad or disgusted.

Sehun tried to slip into his professional store clerk persona again.

“How does it fit, Sir? Everything all right?”

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

Sehun had to really pull himself together to not blurt out anything embarrassing about how he wanted to climb Chanyeol like a tree right then and there, and how the tight costume make his arms look delicious, and many other, NSFW thoughts.  He eventually settled on, “Looks good to me.” Good one, Sehun.  

“Mhh, I don’t know, it seems a little loose in some areas. This is the bigger one, I’ll go try on the smaller one just to see.”

Sehun was honestly in pain. How was he supposed to survive seeing Chanyeol in an even tighter costume than the one he had already been wearing. The man was really just here to torture him. Sehun hoped the floor would open up to swallow him and just take him directly to hell, since that would be more merciful, but without avail.  

Sehun didn’t notice Chanyeol re-emerge out of the changing room due to his breakdown until he heard a throat being cleared and his head snapped up. He promptly choked on his own spit and was coughing up half a lung with tears streaming down his face, mortified at the fact that Chanyeol came rushing over to clap him on the back with a worried look on his face.

“Oh my god, are you ok? What happened?”

“No-nothing…. I just…uh… inhaled wrong…” Way to go Sehun, solid excuse.

He batted away Chanyeol’s hands, insisting he was fine. Chanyeol slowly moved back, but still adorned the worried look on his face.

“If you say so…”

“Ok, ok, I’m good now, sorry for that. How does this one fit, better than the other one?”

“Yeah a lot better, thank you,” Chanyeol turned to him once again, smiling his megawatt smile that made Sehun feel all warm inside.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Being around Chanyeol had made him totally forget the point of the show. He was SUPPOSED to find someone to flirt with. Sure, it was risky, since he didn’t know if Chanyeol was going to respond in a good way, and he really didn’t want to ruin whatever small tiny good thing they had going, but then again, if it didn’t go well, he could always explain later and lie, saying it was all for the show.

“Well, if I may say so, it definitely extenuates all the right elements of your body,” he tried to say without feeling incredibly awkward about it. Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to turn beet red. He awkwardly laughed and looked extremely flustered.

Sehun thought fuck it and decided to just go for all in. Might as fucking well.

He walked over to Chanyeol, who was standing in front of a full body mirror just outside the changing rooms. He stood behind him, making eye contact with Chanyeol through the mirror. Slowly he started running his hands up and down Chanyeol’s (realllly well defined) arms.  

“Yeah, it makes your arms look really nice,” he whispered directly into Chanyeol’s ear in a sultry tone. Luckily, even though he still looked flustered, Chanyeol didn’t seem to pull away or look weirded out.

“Ohhhhhh, my boy is finally stepping it up!”, Heechul screeched, “I was getting a little worried about him there. Hot muscly dork, I like his taste”.

“He definitely chose well, I approve,” Key agreed.

Sehun slowly started to relax and become more confident, and he was very much enjoying that he was able to make Chanyeol look so flustered. It was cute. 

He stayed close to Chanyeol for another few seconds, making sure that Chanyeol definitely saw him rake his eyes down his entire body while biting his lip and keeping his mouth near his neck, so that he could feel the hot breath on his skin.

Sehun felt validated when he felt the small shiver run down Chanyeol’s body and his cheeks become even more dusty pink.

Eventually he stepped back. Chanyeol turned around to stare at him, eyes blown and mouth hanging slightly open.

Sehun ran his finger down the front of Chanyeol’s costume, across his chest.

“How about you get out of that costume, and I’ll treat you to a drink?”, Sehun asked.

“Uh…sure… what about your job?”

“Oh, they’ll understand that I can’t let this opportunity pass me by, don’t worry your pretty little head.”

He heard Chanyeol mumble a startled “pretty?” under his breath and luckily managed to suppress the little chuckle bubbling up.

“Wait, opportunity? What opportunity?”

Sehun invaded his space once again, placing his hands on each of Chanyeol’s shoulders and standing up on his tip toes, so he was able to whisper right into Chanyeol’s ear.

“To go on a date with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and have had a crush on for like 3 years now.”

When he stepped back again, Chanyeol was once again staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

“Wait, you’ve had a cru-“, Sehun panicked and quickly put his hand over Chanyeol’s mouth to stop him from exposing the fact that they knew each other. Chanyeol squeaked in surprise.

Sehun got close again and hissed at him, “Shhh, don’t say that out loud! Let’s just get out of here and I’ll tell you why, I promise.”

Sehun looked into Chanyeol’s eyes, to make sure he understood. Chanyeol nodded and promptly licked Sehun’s hand, which made him pull back in disgust. Chanyeol chuckled and smirked at him again, which threw Sehun for a loop. He wasn’t ready for confident Chanyeol to be back, he didn’t know how to deal with that.

He breathed a breath he didn’t realized he’d been holding in when Chanyeol got back into the changing room, fortunately (unfortunately? Who knew) actually pulling the curtain completely closed this time.

Sehun slumped over the counter he was standing near, mumbling a quick, “what the fuck am I doing?” under his breath.

He startled back upright when he heard the curtain pull back and awkwardly tried to make it look like he was casually leaning against the counter, which apparently didn’t work, considering the laugh Chanyeol let out when he saw him.

“Ok, but before we go, I do actually still want to buy this.”

“Ah yes, well that’s great, let me ring them up for you.”

Sehun walked to the till and rang up the costume for Chanyeol. He startled when he realized how much the costume was. Holy shit, he didn’t know it would be that expensive.

“Uh yes, that’ll be 300$.” Quieter, he said, “holy shit, are you sure you can afford that?”

In lieu of answering, Chanyeol simply smirked, whipped out his wallet and took out a black credit card. Holy shit.  

Sehun looked from the card to Chanyeol’s face, with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Ok, wow, he hadn’t known that Chanyeol was apparently filthy rich. Maybe he’ll even get a sugar daddy out of this whole experience. What a day.

He packed up the costume in a paper bag while Chanyeol was paying and set it on the counter. He then quickly looked for Joy, who was near the front of the store and definitely trying to look like she wasn’t eavesdropping, even though she definitely was. Sehun caught her eye and rolled his. She at least had the decency to look just a little bit embarrassed at being caught.

He waited for Chanyeol to pack away his wallet again, and then made his way to the entrance with him.

“Hey Joy, I’m gonna go take my break I’ll be back…at some point”, he yelled in her direction while trying to get past her as quick as possible, fearing she would say something embarrassing.

He really hoped that Chanyeol didn’t hear her “Yeah, my man! Go get some!!” as they were leaving the store. He threw up a middle finger over his shoulder for good measure.

As soon as they stepped out of the store, he pulled Chanyeol into a small hallway away from the main store pathway. He rummaged around the back of his shirt until he found the mic pack and switched it off.

He looked up to see a slightly bewildered look on Chanyeol’s face.

“Wait, why the fuck are you mic-ed? Oh my God, is this an undercover mission? Are you working with the police? Wait, what did I do? I’m not a criminal!”

Sehun was silent for a second, before he burst out laughing as Chanyeol became more and more panicked. He couldn’t stop and every time he looked at Chanyeol’s confused face he had to laugh more. Eventually, after about 5 minutes he managed to catch himself.

“No, dummy, I’m on a TV show! Oh my God, you really thought I was an undercover cop? This is gold,” Sehun explained through his laughs and while whipping his tears away. “it’s an undercover kind of TV show, that’s why the mic was hidden.”

“Well excuse me for assuming, what else was I supposed to think?”

“Are you a criminal?”

“No, of course not, what the fuck Sehun?”

“Well then why on earth would you assume that I was a cop??”

“What the hell was I supposed to think? You tell me to act like you don’t know me and then you pull me into some sketchy hallway and then you pull out a fucking secret wire? Like literally what other conclusion was I supposed to arrive at??? What TV show is this for anyways?”

Now it was Sehun’s turn to look embarrassed, “It doesn’t really matter.”

Chanyeol immediately had an evil grin on his face. “Well now I definitely want to know”

“It’s really not that important lets just g-“

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me”

Sehun looked to see if he could get away, but apparently Chanyeol had foreseen what he was trying to do and stood between Sehun and the way back to the main part of the shopping centre. There was no way Sehun would be able to get passed Chanyeol, considering he was taller and definitely stronger than him.

Sehun slumped his shoulders and looked the floor.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “It’s called ‘The Gay Agenda’.”

“The what?”

“The Gay Agenda,” Sehun repeated, possibly even quieter than before.

“I really need you to speak up.”

Sehun finally accepted his fate.

“Fine, ok? Its called ‘The Gay Agenda’ and I was supposed to find some guy and seduce him, but then you walked in and I get if you’re not into it and I’m sorry and if you never want to talk to me again I totally unders-“

His heated rant was suddenly cut off by him being pushed against the wall and warm lips being pressed to his own.

His eyes went wide, and he was frozen in shock for a second before he realized holy shit, Chanyeol was kissing him. This was actually happening. He quickly relaxed into the kiss, closed his eyes and reciprocated.

He didn’t know for how long they ended up kissing. At some point his arms snaked around Chanyeol’s neck as Chanyeol pulled him closer by his waist. He licked across Chanyeol’s bottom lip, asking for entry and when their tongues met, it was like he was dunked into a hot tub. His entire body felt warm and like this was the best thing he had ever done in his entire life. He couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Chanyeol eventually pulled back and put his forehead against Sehun’s. They were both breathing hard, but neither let go.

“So, uh, I take it you didn’t mind?” Sehun asked awkwardly, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol let out a laugh, stroking his lower back, his arms still around Sehun’s middle.

“No, you idiot, I’ve liked you for like 3 years, this is like a dream come true for me.”

“3 years?” Sehun was shocked.

“Yeah, ever since I bumped into you at that fair. I’d always hoped that you would come up and talk to me when we saw each other on campus, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it. I’m so fucking awkward.”

“SERIOUSLY? I’d always hoped that you would come talk to me!! I never did because I thought you didn’t like me and were just too nice to not say hi when you saw me!”

Chanyeol chuckled, pecking Sehun on the lips again.

“We’re both idiots, I guess.”

Sehun couldn’t help but agree. He pulled Chanyeol into another kiss, still not believing that this was actually happening. He could do this forever.

“So, what about that drink you said you’d buy me?” Chanyeol eventually asked, when both their lips were swollen and red, and they couldn’t continue because they were getting dangerously close to “not public appropriate” territory.

Sehun was still kind of disoriented and out of breath. “What?”

“Well you said earlier that you would buy me a drink, so I want that drink now. I guess you could say that I’m thirsty.” Sehun smacked him in the chest lightly at the terrible pun and wink, but still slid his hand into Chanyeol’s and made his way back to the stores.

He couldn’t believe that he had started the day, determined to get over Chanyeol and ended up, hand in hand with him, after probably the best make-out session he had had in his entire life. He couldn’t believe his luck.

“You know, I really enjoyed it when you called me Sir earlier.” “Oh my God, we’re not even together yet and I’m breaking up with you.”

Pt. 2