#good morning pain time!
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i don't normally participate in these redraw challenges but it's megumi so i'll make an exception
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk megumi#megumi#looks at clock UHHHHHHHH oops#i got lost in the sauce that is rendering his gd chin and under his lips.... ive been in stylized anime mouth land 2 long i fear#i had forgotten how much of a pain those shadows are :'>>> eSP at a lookdown angle#fought a bit but little did he know i spent years doing coloured pencil portraits. this is My domain#god but the rest of the skin render was so FUN i love . warm grey in2 brown in2 red/orange fr the deep underneck shadow#lip tint heavy blush freckles glossier model fushiguro megumi...........im a believer i fear#had a bit of a hard time finding a middle ground between how i normally draw his hair and a more Realistic take on it#the model in the og has hair that's pretty close but i think the strands r a bit short n too heavily curved fr my tastes#its my brand im afraid i simply must give itfs both longer hair#nothing else feels Right#but god i underestimated how Good this photoshoot is as megu material . i get the hype now i get it#i did the sketch n i looked at it and i had an oh /oh/ moment#smh megumi put those lustrous emerald orbs away before u hurt some1#his gaze is too powerful . slaps a red bg on him makes him my new icon :)#anyway its 6am it is morning time do i sleep fr like 3 hrs or do i say megumi voice Whatever we shall see
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Can we hear more thoughts on self-aware skully in a halloween-themed otome?? I think it's such a fun concept! Thinking of him, loving us knowing that he will never have us<33
:D the basic idea is that the love interests are everyone in TNBC event and it focuses on you and them planning the perfect Halloween celebration alongside the residents of Halloween Town. Spend a week getting closer to and raising the affection meter of your beloved and perhaps he might confess on Halloween night under a brilliant moon! <3
Skully is a side character who is merely there to progress the plot; he doesn't have any real route for himself, nor does he have any of the mechanics the other characters have (affection meters). But if he did perhaps he might be the secret yandere route most otome games have...
Unfortunately, most of his scenes with you are very short and he's often there to make the love interest shine brighter. When Leona warns you not to listen to a fanatic like him, that only misfortune can come from readily believing everything he says, it's meant to make you fall for Leona and his protective charm. Or when Jamil asks Skully if he's doing okay when he notices how downcast he seems, it's to make you fawn over how considerate and observant he appears. But all of this is just part of pre-programmed characteristics. It's all part of a script. Skully plays his part in this drama, almost like a ghost as he floats through whichever route you choose to pursue, and with every replay he begins to realize there's more beyond the world he's confined to.
You can't actually like these characters, right? They're just caricatures. They're programmed to fall for you, but Skully's love for you is a natural progression! It's real. Sure, you click through some of his dialogue when it's too long, but please don't ignore him. >_< surely you don't agree with the others on their idea for Halloween! You think a somber Halloween is better, right? One that's quiet and solemn. One that's meant for reflection. One that's better spent alone. He knows you're a sweet, considerate person at heart. Surely you share his feelings on this matter.
The game has a feature where one of the love interests will visit you each day you log in during the seven-day timeframe, and it gives you chances to either raise or lower their affection meter when you interact with them. Imagine your surprise when Skully, who isn't a love interest and thus shouldn't be here, forces himself into the spotlight, hoping to have a private chat with you. He's so excited! Oh, what should he say? He isn't confined by the laws of the script, so he can say and do whatever he wants! It's how he's able to be so much more expressive than the other characters.
You watch in surprise as the blank bubble fills with a dialogue you've never encountered before:
Lovely person beyond the screen, I greet you with a kiss! Allow me to remind you of what the real Halloween is.
#twisted chit chat#the real angst and pain is that he's still alone even when he's self-aware... like monika in ddlc#but also >:) if you spend too much time fawning over one particular love interest he'll get rid of them#logging in the next day to see skully standing in front of the corpse of your love interest his suit spattered in red#greeting you with 'good morning lovely person beyond the screen! forgive the mess it will be gone shortly :D'#slowly but surely showing you how terrifying halloween is (just as he hoped! it's about fear and tradition! not noisy celebration!)
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
#disability#trauma#chronic illness#long COVID#COVID#Tbh I’m not sure if I have long covid or not but I keep swinging between despair and fury#The brain fog SUCKS#I might have always had it but it feels especially bad now?#And I have all kinds of respiratory problems that got exacerbated#And possibly chronic fatigue but it’s unclear#And I’m one of the lucky ones!!!#I can still exercise without needing three days of bed rest after!#I was so RELIEVED when it turned out I could do that#I did like. Three weeks of breathing rehab to make sure#Not sure if it helped but now I’m not getting post-exertional backlash nearly as much anymore#And I didn’t lose my sense of smell or get my taste messed up#And I don’t need a respirator just an inhaler and some allergy meds and to take frequent breaks#And like. I know so many people have it worse#And that suuuuucks#But EVEN THIS makes me want to scream and rail half the time#Update as of Sept 2024 — this is no longer true#Got Covid again and now I can’t exercise without being too tired to move for three days#🙃#Probably will die mad about this actually#I had SUCH a good time working out one night#But then the next morning#Nope#head-to-toe muscle pain#couldn’t do any chores#Couldn’t even feed myself
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my reality hc for why totty's eyes look bigger than everyone's else is that he tapes his eyelids which makes his eyes look bigger
#png#6#makes me happy when i see ppl learning bt this for the first time lol#i feel like taping/gluing double eyelids is such a big personality indicator for but ya if ure not eastasian u probably never thot about it#the matsus all definitely have monolids btw. tangential to this. Bro just trustment on this one.#my life experience of walking in on my sister poking her eyes in and being like wtf#and then the continued horror of realizing she did it every morning i was ljke... girl is it that serious#does it even make you cuter#very totty core to me#a makeup thing that's allegedly trendy but probably actually slightly old fashioned#is meant to seem effortless or natural even though it's a pain#has to do it tediously#consciously#purposefully every single morning#and all this for your brothers to not even understand it#“it's supposed to make your eyes look bigger?? does it???? why is that a good thing?? stop hogging the bathroom”#very totty core. to me
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Local girl has a toothache and has to go to the dentist on her long weekend which is a tragedy. More at 11.
#I have such trauma from tooth pain because last time I had it I had an abscess and it was so bad#This shouldn’t be that because this tooth had a root canal but dang it’s hurting#Not like before so far but ow#It might be my wisdom tooth but who knows#Anyway think good thoughts for me#KCrabb rambles#My appt is in the morning
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i hope whatever weird thing thats wrong with me is resolved by the concert next month bc if its not im really not seeing how i'll be able to go
#im used to having health problems and usually they dont stress me too much. im good at compartmentalizing it away into a little folder#but this time its just completely weird and nothing ive ever had before and its driving me crazy bc ive been to the doctors 3 times#no help no idea wait until october 3 and its getting more painful and weird every day i keep needing to lay down for hours#and just doing anything womens health related is already a fucking struggle like i dont want to be doing any of this usually i dont#get stressed like this but ive never experienced this so it is freaking me out bc my aunt had weird cancer and my uncles been just diagnose#with stage 4 and hes been given 18months and my grandma died last year can you just take me serious for once#anyway sorry for the monday morning vent but if i dont put this somewhere im gonna have an actual freak out
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#spinaraki#spinneraki#shuichi iguchi#shigaraki tomura#i joked about doing a hospital spinner cosplay + a few days later went: ohhh hohoho what if i made a Shigaraki comic to carry around too#listen: painful but im foaming at the mouth about the idea im obsessed itd be iconic (to me)#afshdkflg unfortunately i am still working on my masquerade entry so idk that I'd have time 😭#mha jbee#had this idea and had to immediately get it out so a not v good sketch is here!!#posting in the dead of night/early early morning whatsssuuuuup. im going to bed
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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// mild blood
injured cadets again .. and crosshair helps tech navigate around kamino while he cant use his goggles
#clonec3st dni by the way please go away proshitters !!#good eyesight and headcanon poor eyesight. do you see my vision#ALSO GOD I WATCHED THE OUTPOST AND HELLO ??????? i am in literal pain#i actually had a really bad sensory meltdown this morning and almost couldnt make it for todays episode#at the usual 4pm release time#but oh my gof. this episode was so .. /pos#the bad batch#bad batch#tbb#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#crosshair bad batch#bad batch crosshair#tech bad batch#bad batch tech#star wars#star wars fanart#the clone wars
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it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!
#rin rambles#cw vent#tw vent#i'm ngl i'm starting to stress out haha#eating is such a pain sometimes i wish they invent a pill you can just take and it'll give you all the exact nutrients you need ugh#i keep forgetting to have dinner for the past 4 days n haven't had the energy to wash my hair for 3 days now#but it's fine we good we're chugging on#i'll hopefully have some time to breathe on the weekend since monday is a ph#but my god i'm dreading the hackathon sm haha#mostly bc i have never talked to the people assigned into the team with me AND everyone is in US timezone#so i have to stay up late from night to morning to collab with them#and i really don't like that haha but what can you do when it's work :))))#and then there's the new landlady's shenanigans...... i dont want to think about it.............#lets try not to get your paranoia make you break down again meirin#anyway#that got venty real fast i better put a warning#sorry for the negativity lately i'm just so tired#venty............. venti......... hey guys what do you call it when venti vents- /smacked#there now that wasnt all negative hahah
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So a lot has been going on for me - it turns out my clavicle/roater cuff pain I've been having has turned into tendonosis. Which is just long-term tendinitis. Now, I have to do physical therapy starting today for 2 times a week for the next 3 months... I've been stressed with my work schedule since I have to adjust it....it's a lot to deal with right now🥲🥲🥲
#i think that's why work has me stressing#which also means i have to leave early for 2 of my work days😐#good and bad because of $$$...#my insurance is covering the pt so woo...#sharing time#good morning#tendonitis#tendinitis#joint pain#chronic pain#2024#july
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Back Pain 💥
[id: A sketch of a fox lying on the ground. It's back is facing the camera, and a long, jagged line runs along where it's spine should be. /end id]
#Illustration#Artwork#Fox#Chronic pain#Scoliosis#It is 6:30 in the morning and I can't sleep D:#I use a rolling backpack but had to carry it up a ton of subway stairs while it had my big heavy laptop in there#Was for a portfolio review so it was worth it but definitely not good for my back :(((#Took a painkiller so the pain's eased up. But now I've got studio in like two more hours#Hopefully I can catch some Zzzs! Gotta give it a shot#Doodling this helped make my eyes a little tired so I have high hopes#ACK just edited the image id in! not confident that I formatted it right but I'll check when I get a nap#And you know what? More rambling! My back is probably so achey because I couldn't wear my back brace#It was so hot in the city out of nowhere and I can't travel and wear my brace comfortably in that heat. sad times :(
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question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?
#i'm trying to figure out which doctor appointments I want to bother making and spending money about for potentially no return on investment#and right now i'm trying to figure out if I'd get way more practical help from a dietician or if I need to suck it up and find a#not-elderly not-male not-dismissive GI doctor first and THEN see a dietician#although I cannot afford a bunch of tests#so like???#trying to figure out if a dietician would be more helpful overall with me not HAVING any GI diagnoses or eating disorders#and just really struggling with food in both sensory ways and unpredictable digestion ways that don't correlate with food allergies#god i sometimes wish i had food allergies so i could have some predictability#but yeah. i'm leaning towards dietician but figured i should crowdsource experiences#since I know a lot of you have health issues you've also been trying to manage for years and probably have good advice#if it helps i'm also in a major city now and have a decent-but-not-great health insurance plan so I'm good on those two fronts#to do#health#I know a dietician can't diagnose anything but I'd love help figuring out how to get maximum nutrition even when i can barely eat anything#or when my body decides to start getting sick from or (tw emetophobia) puking up fiber or fatty foods#which thankfully isn't often#now that I do cannabis daily in microdosing I have so much less pain and bloating and nausea#but when it hits it HITS#and the last time I tried going without cannabis for a couple days and then eating a fiber muffin I was sick six times in one morning#and didn't get my normal eating ability back until dinnertime#luckily that's not normal for me#but my issues bounce up and down so much#and I lose weight so fast whenever my appetite goes from 'barely ever there' to 'negatively nonexistent'#and I had like. two months last year where I think i reached my body's natural healthy set weight#and i needed so much food but it felt so good energy wise and temperature wise#and i'd like to STAY THERE FFS#and I feel like a dietician would be helpful for making meal options for good#*good and hard and nuclear alert level eating difficulty times#anyway. crowdsourcing. yay!
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It’s 6am and honestly I really don’t want to get up rn but hockey and f1 are being a pain
#(they’re really not being a pain if you look at it retrospectively)#(I am Australian and the sports I wanna walk is in North America so it’s at their time sadly inconveniencing me)#lak lb#anyways good morning lak lb
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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:
fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure
ALSO-
*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!
#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly#our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd#also oh goshhhh#so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway#my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car#but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me#last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed#no seatbelt for her obviously#she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair#i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha#i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever#half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye#dammit im crying now hahaha#saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo#but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently#that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age#it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral#did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think#a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around#now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha#freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!
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this dialogue path im so 😭😭🤭🤭
#shri’iia going like you weren’t THAT good 🙄 as if she didn’t come multiple times bc he’s probably more attentive than her matriarch#like I imagine her matriarch being a very selfish lover and she always receives and never gives and shri’iia being so used to that#so when the act 1 forest sex scene comes and astarion performs as he does and he’s very giving and thorough and more focused on her own#pleasure than his shri’iia is like ?? brakes screeching noises in her brain she’s not used to this btw#not to mention she’s already drunk as fuck and trying so very hard to ignore the pain in her chest from oath breaking#so she gets even more confused and she just lets him do what he wants to do#cue the morning after .. ‘you weren’t THAT good’ whatever you’re just saving face 😭#anyway. I like this dialogue path too bc you get an insight on astarion’s pov where he says he was holding back and making his excuse#when he was probably dissociating / feeling disgusted at having to do his routine again#but then it’s all part of his plan so he gotta do it. also that’s what he knows how to do so he has to do it and liking it is a diff matter#but when he says the ‘how dare you’ like it feels more playful so I think that kind of dynamic where they clown on each other is what they#both like. I also think that in the second time they sleep together it’s a bit more playful bc they’re getting that kind of dynamic more#based on the flirting scenes you can get prior the second time he offers to sleep together again#but to me when they overtly flirt / or when they fuck is when the seeds of the romance are planted .. it only develops when they start to#hang out with each other lol. like this whole romance that’s built on deceit and using each other#gets developed bc they actually like being in each other’s company 😭😭 idk that’s so cute to me#and when they’re actually together it’s like. this slowburn where they’re not putting any labels on it#they just hang out with each other for the next couple of hundred years and occasionally get married#multiple times for the attention and gifts lol#actually have more thoughts abt astarion/shri’iia 😭 they’re infesting my mind like mold#shut up about bg3.#bg3 spoilers
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