#good lord this really is rotting my brain(in the best way possible)

[oh-mother-i-cannot-weave]

I promise I'm normal about good omens guys I promise I'm not insane about them

[chuluoyi]

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 02:33 P.M 」

based on this video. this idea has been rotting in my brain for some while :') dad gojo will always have a soft spot in my heart <3

a part of gojo's love entries

your baby’s first trip to aquarium was such a cute affair you were sure you wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

“waaa~” your baby’s eyes were gleaming with wonder as he gazed at the diverse array of colorful fishes above him, completely captivated by the view.

and your husband...

“aren’t they pretty, hmm?” satoru asked his adorable son with a grin, pecking his cheek and holding him snugly in the baby carrier against his chest, with a backpack of baby essentials strapped on his back.

he was the very vision of a domestic dad, and along with your son, who was dressed in a bear onesie, complete with two little ears, they made a really irresistible pair. even you couldn’t fault the crowd for staring at them.

“fwaa! waa~” your munchkin was squirming with joy, his tiny fingers stretching out towards the sight before him. satoru giggled, moving closer to the glass to give his baby a better view.

“look! that’s clownfish! and those wiggly flowers are anemone! and that is—”

he faltered at a fish passing in his view before deciding, “this— i don’t know, but it’s the clownfish’s friend!”

they are basically the same. your little boy and your husband, both of them clearly shared a brain cell as they happily pointed out different fishes.

“meh! hehe!” your baby babbled away, excited and incredibly happy in his father’s hold, and satoru too seemed to feel the same, as his eyes beyond that sunglasses crinkled.

“damn, my kid is so cute.”

suddenly he dived down and pretended to chew his pumpkin’s chubby cheeks, effectively making him squeal in glee.

and oh lord, the way your heart skipped a beat seeing that. it was so clear how much satoru adored your baby, and it made overwhelming warmth rush to your chest.

“he’s a good man,” an elderly lady beside you suddenly remarked, making you turn to her. “not many men do that for their kids.”

“he is…” you agreed with a shy smile.

“it’s a shame that you only have one baby,” the elderly man beside her—possibly her husband—added. “you’re still young and he is so good with them too.”

your heart swelled and would’ve already burst if it was possible. bashfully, you thanked the elderly pair as they went on their way.

and along the way, you received similar hushed comments and adoring looks—

“oh my! their baby is so cute!”

“how can such family exists?! the dad, mom, baby… all three of them are so good-looking!”

“such a hot dilf! can’t he divorce his wife and marry me instead? i’ll be his kid’s stepmother gladly!”

satoru pretended not to hear, but he clearly held back his laugh. you threw the school girl who carelessly blurted that a pointed look, making her scurry away.

and after the three of you were done walking around the aquarium, you stopped by the gift shop to get your baby his first fish pet.

your son suddenly became fussy, and satoru unclasped him from the carrier. “hmm? do you want mama?” he handed him over to you. “here, here~ mama wants to hold you too~”

as soon as your son was settled in your embrace, he giggled, and you couldn’t help but bounce him and coo. “do you have fun? you do, don’t you?”

it might not visible to others, but now satoru was staring at both of his reasons of being with literal stars in his eyes.

several years ago, he thought his life had stopped when his best friend negated his beliefs entirely, but you were there, holding his hand throughout it all. and then you married him— and then, you gave him a son to dote on.

you keep giving his life a new meaning. and he was thankful for that.

. . . meanwhile, you kept hearing whispers from a gaggle of girls in the next aisle, about how much of a dreamboat your husband in his blue shirt was and it was grating at your nerves so much that you pursed your lips into a total pout.

satoru thought you were the cutest, not even second to his baby, and he decided he wasn’t known for public decency anyway so he dived in and pecked your lips—dispelling any stray thoughts and making you flush in an instant.

“sato—!”

and before you could rebuke him, he whispered in your ear:

“so... baby number two, when?”

[beevean]

isaactor hecula isaacula for the bingo? for fun, trevor/grant too

👀

Isaactor:

The divorsties 🥰

I got in an Isaactor mood again after picking up my old WIP, which is funny because the chapter I'm working on is mostly Hector bashing Isaac like the bitter ex that he is :P but yeah. They have a relationship. Not sure what kind of relationship, but they definitely have one. I wish at least one of the prequels fed me more than the smallest of breadcrumbs.

... I'm just weak for that "we're fundamentally incompatible and we are toxic for each other and we are using each other for our deepest selfish needs and yet we are so close that we're part of each other and I can't imagine my life without you" thing that is rotating in my head. Then you add the divorce, and you have a beautiful mess <3

Hecula:

"It's not my OTP," I say, as I squee fangirl-style everytime I see someone fall in hell with me, or even better draw fanart/talk about it. I may be in denial :P

Anyway, yadda yadda, it's abusive, it's gross, it's Problematic™, it hits those very nice tropes that make my brain rot faster than fruit in summer (age gap, abuse of power imbalance, mentor/protégé, manipulation...), IMO it enriches Hector's character arc of finding freedom and agency in the human world, I am utterly fascinated by how Dracula's feelings for Hector are described in Japanese, it's Lenector done right.

(I was about to tick "it would never work in canon but", just to get that bingo, but I can't lie. After all, it's canon and I have proof :P although I admit there is a lot of heavylifting to do here since we know very little of what Hector thought of Dracula pre-betrayal)

Isaacula:

The mirror opposite of Hecula. Isaac adores his Lord and would nullify himself for him, and Dracula is, at best, only mildly amused to have a dog at his beck and call, but won't grant him the Special Treatment that Isaac craves :P I still rotate in my head various possibilities on what Dracula does to Isaac, from completely ignoring him, to only feeding on him but pretty much for necessity, to also using him as a toy but without any sort of fondness, just a way to manipulate him and keeping him happy and compliant.

Sidenote, I find somewhat amusing that Isaac is "merely" Dracula's loyal servant in canon, as in one that simply didn't even think of betraying his Lord, but it's just so, so easy to imagine him as being utterly, selflessly devoted to the point of self-destruction. It's because of the collar and tattoos. Because Isaac has a fantastic character design that tells you everything you need to know about him without anyone explaining it to you. (and personally, I've always loved his line "if you have a good weapon, you use it, don't you?", which just. says a lot about him. my broken boy <3)

And second sidenote, I honestly wonder why any combination of Dracula/Hector/Isaac seems to be so unpopular, even back in the day when people were far less picky regarding ships :\ (N!Isaactor is quite popular, but I haven't found anything for N!Isaacula and N!Hecula. The latter sucks so I understand, but idk, are people really afraid of some good lord/servant ship even when positive like in the former's case?)

Gravor (?)

I see them as fire-forged besties (or "besties" 😏), but I can absolutely see the romantic appeal! Also their relationship is underrated in general because Grant is underrated in general :(

[xomarauders]

okay i’m posting it now cuz i can’t wait :) enjoy!

—

“I can’t remember how you take your tea.”

Remus looked up, the book in his hands falling to his lap as he saw Sirius standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. His eyes were cast downward, and his shoulders were hunched inward, looking like a child who was waiting to be scolded by their mother. His bottom lip was tucked neatly between his teeth and Remus fought the urge to stand up and kiss it better. Sirius’ eyes were sort of glossed over and there was a melancholic look on his face mixed with pure agitation and confusion.  

Azkaban had taken a lot of things from Sirius; Remus knew that. The dementors were vicious creatures who toyed with the happy memories of their victims and twisted them into faux nightmares. Sirius had spent twelve years with them and when he finally escaped, the man who came out was not the same as the man Remus once knew.

There were still instances of the old Sirius that Remus’ heart would melt for whenever they happened to appear. Like the crunch of his nose whenever he was thinking intently and the way he bounced on his toes whenever he got excited. The way his eyes lit up when Remus read to him and the barking laugh that was rare to hear these days. Little things like that made it bearable for Remus to withstand the screaming he woke up to every night and the blank expression that resided on Sirius’ face most of the time. It was heartbreaking to see, but Remus would bear it in the hope that one day, the Sirius he loved would fully return to him.

“That’s okay, Sirius.” Remus said calmly even as his heart sank deeper into his stomach. How many other details had the dementors made foreign to the man in front of him? “Just a splash of milk. No sugar.”

Sirius let out a disgruntled sigh and his eyebrows furrowed more. His bony fists clenched at his side as he became frustrated with himself and Remus thought for a brief moment that the frail bones may break under the pressure. Apparently, Sirius’ impatience was still intact.

“Okay.”

He turned and left the room, leaving Remus alone with his book once more. He couldn’t be bothered to focus on reading now, though, and set the novel down on the small coffee table before him. The sound of dishes clinking softly together came from the kitchen where Sirius was attempting to make the tea and Remus wondered if he should go in to help or stay put. It was always like that now. The decision making that should have been simple but seemed near impossible now because of the circumstance. Remus knew what he would have done fourteen years ago but things had changed—they had changed—and Remus was walking on pins and needles, waiting for the inevitable breakdown to come.

“Here you go.” Sirius’ voice brought Remus out of his mind and he reached forward to take the tea from Sirius’ outstretched hand. He took a sip, feeling Sirius’ gaze on him and his heart broke a little bit more as the taste of sugar filled his mouth, but it might as well have been salt because of the bitter flavor it left.

“Is it right?”

Remus looked up to the hesitant eyes of the man he loved and the hopeful gleam that was hidden behind them and smiled the best he could. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

 * * *

“I can’t remember the lyrics.”

Remus had come home from the market to see his records scattered across the bedroom floor with Sirius sitting in the middle of them, head in his hands and tears streaming down his face. The record that was actually playing was instantly recognizable to Remus as Billy Joel’s “Turnstiles” and the track was “James,” making the whole scene that much more painful to bear witness to.

It would have been so much easier if James were here, Remus thought. James always knew how to handle the worst sides of Sirius, the two of them always having some sort of connection others couldn’t even comprehend and it jarred Remus not for the first time in his life that he ever believed Sirius could betray James Potter. How the war had twisted them, broken them down into fragments of distrust and paranoia.

“That’s okay, Sirius.” Remus said because what else could he say? What comfort could he possibly offer the broken man before him when he was partially to blame for it all? Remus had left him to rot in Azkaban just like everybody else did. He should have known better. He did know better.

“I miss him. I miss them both.”

Remus just nodded. There was nothing he could say that would banish the pain and anguish Sirius felt over losing James and Lily. He himself had yet to figure out how others dealt with such grief, how they woke up every morning claiming to feel better. All Remus felt was worse, with each passing day acting as a reminder that James and Lily Potter were gone from the Earth, taken in such a cruel and devastating way. The world had celebrated—the Dark Lord was gone! Let the light thrive! —but Remus had felt nothing but despair, a hole forever left in his heart. How could there be light with the two of them gone? They should have lived. Over him, Sirius, Peter and everybody else who had somehow survived that first war, it should have been James and Lily who made it out alive. But it wasn’t. Because fate or destiny or prophecy or whatever the fuck it was had made up its mind.

So, Remus sat down on the floor next to Sirius, and they cried for their fallen friends.

* * *

“I can’t remember how she died.”

Remus cringed, closing his eyes and willing himself to keep it together. They were standing there, he and Sirius, in front of the smallest headstone in the cemetery—it was all Remus could afford—looking down at the name scrawled across it.

                          Hope Howell Lupin

                                1938 – 1979

She was only forty-one when the cancer had finally consumed her. It was almost ironic that Hope had survived the early stages of the war and all the attacks against muggles but was defeated by some chronic disease that had no cure—magic or otherwise. It pained Remus to sit there and do nothing as he watched her wallow away to nothing those last few months. She had grown thin and frail that Remus had taken to carrying her around like a small child everywhere she went. A part of him was glad that Sirius couldn’t remember. It was hard on the both of them. Sirius had adored Hope and she adored him in return. He was so starved for motherly affection and she was so happy that Remus had someone who loved him that the two of them became fast friends. The day she died, Sirius cursed every star in the sky for taking away such a woman. He screamed about how unfair life was that it had taken her away, that he would die ten times over just to have her back. At the time, all Remus could do was watch Sirius yell into the night as he tried to understand his own feelings. He was never truly able to.

“It was a brain tumor.” Remus said and he hated how his voice cracked. “Cancer. Terrible.”

Sirius nodded minutely and they were quiet once more. After everything happened—with James and Lily’s deaths, Peter being assumed dead as well, and Sirius being locked away—Remus thought his life was an embodiment of irony. He had lost everyone that was important to him in a matter of two years when in all reality, he should’ve been first to leave them all. The wolf inside of him was bound to kill him one day, and Remus was okay with that. He never thought he’d have to be the one grieving.

He would have rather taken the former option.

The feeling of Sirius’ cool fingers intertwining between his own pulled Remus from his thoughts and he turned to the man beside him. Sirius smiled, albeit a bit brokenly, and gave Remus’ palm a squeeze. All the walls Remus seemed to have put up broke down in that moment and he fell to his knees, pulling Sirius down with him. It was as if all the emotions he had been holding in for the past sixteen years came flooding to the surface, making him crumble.

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Sirius whispered, delicate fingers running over Remus’ scalp.

“I’m sorry,” Remus stuttered, because he was. God, was he sorry.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. It would never be fine. But Remus nodded anyway.

* * *

“I can’t remember our last kiss.”

Remus almost missed the quiet admittance of Sirius’ latest lost thought. Usually he sounded frustrated or sad whenever he talked to Remus about the things he couldn’t remember but now he almost sounded ashamed for forgetting such a thing. They were sitting on the back porch because Sirius was feeling too claustrophobic to be inside at the moment, gazing up at the night sky. Remus’ eyes would always find the moon while Sirius’ tended to linger on Regulus. Neither of them mentioned it, though.

“It was August. 1981. The 31st, I believe.” Remus said. He remembered it perfectly, the way it down poured that night, as if the universe knew what was about to come. “It was our last night together before Dumbledore sent me off…off with the werewolves.”

He took a breath to compose himself. It was the last good night before everything went to hell. The last good night the two of them had together before suspicion and paranoia drove them apart. Remus often wished he could go back to that night.

“We made love. You had left the window open and so the rain came in and chilled our skin, but we didn’t care. I just kept kissing you and you kept saying my name, like some sort of mantra or prayer. And afterwards we just laid there, arms wrapped around each other and legs intertwined. I didn’t want to let you go. I really didn’t. I wanted to…to run away with you that night. Just run away from it all. But I knew that we couldn’t. So, I just kept kissing you. Trying to memorize the way your lips felt on mine just...just in case.”

The silence between them seemed to stretch on for ages after Remus finished speaking. It was a lot to say, a lot of emotions to unpack. Remus was never good at talking about his emotions, but Sirius deserved this. He deserved to remember how much they meant to one another, no matter how much it hurt now.

“Remus?”

“Yes, Sirius?”

“I…will you kiss me?”

He finally turned to Sirius, who was looking at him sadly, silent tears streaming down his face. The moonlight illuminated his pale skin, offering an almost celestial glow on his broken appearance. Silver eyes that had long since turned to ash stared at Remus with such longing sorrow and the werewolf felt his heart break. Even though he was damaged, possibly beyond repair, he was still the most beautiful thing Remus had ever seen.

Remus nodded minutely and leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against Sirius’. It was soft at first, hesitant, but then Sirius surged forward, hands reaching up to cling onto the back of Remus’ neck and pulling him forward. Remus brought his own hands up to curl in long locks of dark hair that crowded Sirius’ face, urgent and desperate, holding on like he would be taken away from him again at any moment. He wouldn’t let it happen. This was everything, Sirius was everything.

They were together again. Despite the odds, despite fate, they had somehow found their way back to one another. And Remus was not going to let go.

They broke apart, hands still holding one another close, gasping for the same air and looking at each other like they used to, back when all that mattered was their love.

“Was that like how you remember?”

“Yes,” Remus gasped, and he smiled genuinely for the first time in years, “Exactly how I remember.”

[iscariotsdeputy]

Staci Pratt’s Lines From The FC5 Script

THE SCRIPT IS FOUND HERE ON THIS POST GIVE THAT POST THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES

now to our regular scheduled staci content under the read more!

[Surprise reactions, yes I’m naming these]

Good Lord! 

What the- 

Jesus! 

God almighty! 

Christ almighty! 

Whoa!

What was that? 

I heard something. 

You hear that? 

What? 

What's that?

[FUN BATTLE CRIES]

Enough! 

No more! 

I'm done with this!

Goin' in! 

Cover me! 

You're dead! 

You're mine! 

Kill them! Let them die for the Father!   (ZOINKS)

Kill them all! They don't deserve to live! 

The weak must be culled! 

We've got this! 

Mercy is for the weak! 

Show them no weakness! 

Cull the herd! 

You don't deserve to live! 

You'll pay! You're all gonna pay! 

You're all gonna die! 

You don't deserve to live!

Is that it? 

You started it! 

I didn't want this! 

We don't forgive unbelievers! 

This didn't have to happen! 

[That feel when the grenades hit]

Move, move, move! 

Move, go! 

Grenade! 

Grenade, move! 

[This boy is on fire!]

Oh God, the fire's gettin' bigger! 

Fire's growing! 

The fire! It's out of control!  

Good Lord that fire's getting big! 

The fire's spreading!

[Lad on the run]

Moving, cover me! 

Runnin' for it! 

Hey, cover me! 

Movin' positions! 

Gonna try to get higher up. 

Gonna climb higher. 

Cover me, I'm heading down. 

Moving down, cover me! 

For sure! 

Better go fast! 

Got it! 

Okay! 

Got ya!

[When he wants to run but he’s like me trying not to infodump: suppressed]

I can't move! 

They've got me pinned! 

I'm pinned down! 

I'm taking fire over here! 

They've got me pinned down! 

[Staci hearing threats]

Jesus! Where was that?! Damn!

Lord! Jesus, what was that? What the hell! 

[Staci underfire]

Damn! 

Dammit, dammit! 

Lord Jesus Christ! 

This is bad!

God, no!

Ah shit! 

[Staci when he sees them enemies]

Look, over there! 

Over there! 

There they are! 

There! I see them! 

Gonna do some Cullin'...      (staci excuse me?)

Don't move! 

Dammit, watch out! 

Hey, watch out! 

[Wounded Staci]

Ah. 

Ow. 

Ah! 

God! 

Jesus! 

I'm hit! 

They shot me! 

They got me!

[HE’S RELOADIN’]

Reloading! 

I'm reloading! 

Reloading! Cover me! 

Gotta reload!

[SALUTATIONS FELLOW NORMAL NOT BRAINWASHED PEOPLE]

Hey. 

Hi there.

What's up. 

Hey, man. 

Hey sister. 

Hey there.

Hey!

Hey Brother.

Brother, how are you?

Miss. Nice to see you. 

Hey there Miss. 

[Sights on Staci, a sniper with the same values as me]

Sniper! 

Sniper's got me in his sights! 

Got a sniper on me! 

[Funky Fresh Idle Filler]

Gotta look after your gear, keep it clean. Out here your weapon is your life. 

The Father keeps all the best stuff for his Chosen. Leaves us the scraps. 

No one is going to take anything from me again. Ever.

The night hides many sins. 

It gets cold at night. 

Even in the dark, they can see ya. 

[Sneeze] [Clear Throat] [Sigh]

[Happy sigh. Like the Blue Jays won another world series recently.] (I shit you not this is how it’s in the script)

I'm not weak. I'm not weak. 

They're gonna pay. 

No mercy. Show no mercy. 

Some say the sun is life. In the cages it brings only death. 

I wasn't sure I'd ever see the sun again. 

[Deep breath] Just smell that fresh air. 

Jacob took me on one of his hunts, only we weren't huntin' any animals. A couple of prisoners had escaped... they didn't get far. I had to help round up the wolves.. you know... to be made into Judges. They were so scared... so scared. I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin them. As I was cutting them open they changed... it wasn't deer. I... I don't think it was a dream.

Good idea to be ready for anythin'. From what I saw Eden's Gate isn't foolin' around.

I was locked down in Jacob's Gate for days. I can't imagine living down there for years. 

Jacob had one thing right. Things are only goin' to get worse and you gotta be ready for it.

[Friendly Fire]

Watch it!

We're on the same side! 

Watch where you point that! 

Do you mind? 

Don't test me!

You trying to kill me?! 

You tryin' to make me angry? 

I wouldn't do that, if I were you.

You doing that on purpose? 

Trying to get me killed?! 

Watch it! 

Be more careful! 

Careful! 

Hey! Watch it!

[DON’T LET HIM USE THE MOUNTED GUN]

Goin' for the machine gun! 

Gonna take the machine gun! 

Cover me I'm going for the machine gun! 

I'm taking the machine gun, cover me! 

Leave the machine gun to me!

[If a friend is down I think, or maybe you, who knows?]

Good lord! 

Jesus! 

God, no! 

Father save us! 

[SO IF STACI KILLS YOU???]

Now who's weak? 

I'm sorry. I really am. 

[Staci death pleas]

Father! Forgive me! 

Oh God oh God! 

[Filler after Staci kills someone AKA post-combat]

Culling the herd. It's just culling the herd. 

Did you see that Jacob? Who's weak now? 

For sure. 

You okay over there? 

You can't let it get to you. 

It.. It'll be okay.  (i love him,,,,,,,,,,)

[Battle Filler!]

They deserve what they get! 

Show no weakness! 

Kill them all! 

Death is too good for them! 

[Reviving]

Going to help! I got 'em! I'll get 'em! I got this! 

Hold on, I got you! Be right there! Don't die on me! 

[You Revive Him! Gold Star!]

It just wasn't my time. Thanks, friend. 

You are a God-send. Thank you. 

You're like my guardian angel. 

[Battle Taunts]

Whatta you gonna do? What, having trouble standing? What's wrong? How do you like it? 

[Staci asking for help]

Oh God! Save me, please!

Oh god, it hurts! Make it stop!

Please, Father. No more!

[If you aim your gun at Stace oh n o]

You don't want to test me.

That's enough.

You wanna see what happens? 

You're not gonna like what comes next... 

You think that scares me after what I've been through? 

Don't be testin' me, Brother. 

Don't push me. Not now. 

I'm warning you. 

I'm not goin' to put up with this, Miss. 

[Staci and Boomer]

You got that dog under control, right? 

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm good with dogs. 

Dogs remind me too much of those damned Judge wolves. 

I don't like the way that dog is looking at me. 

Just keep that dog away from me. 

[Staci and Cheeseburger]

I don't trust bears. 

Keep that thing away from me. 

Bears are dangerous. 

Bears should be in the wild. 

Bears are killers.

[Staci and Peaches]

Now that's a cat.

Big cat.

Big claws on that sucker. 

Nice kitty. 

Beauty coat on that cougar. 

[More Filler, But Longer And Contextual!]

Sometimes it's all just too much...then I remember my purpose. Our purpose. 

Jacob, he's knows everything that I'm thinking. He's got the key to my mind and he twists... and twists... and twists. 

Jacob... he's in control. He controls everything. 

I don't know how much more of this I can take. 

I would've rotted in Jacob's Gate if it wasn't for you. 

Good to see things gettin' back to normal. 

Jacob has got eyes everywhere. He knows your thoughts, before you think 'em. He's inside your head right now. 

Jacob's plan worked. I tried to warn them. I told them not to go back. 

I don't know how much more I can take of this. 

If Jacob gets his way, we're all dead. 

I... I don't know what to think anymore. It's.. it's so hard to keep it straight. 

That goddamn cage, it's like my wires are crossed. 

I can't believe he's really dead. 

No more sacrifices. No more. 

No one can take Jacob on. It's just not possible. 

Jacob's going to win. He always wins. 

Whitetails are honest, decent people. They're fightin' the good fight, and they deserve any success that comes their way. No place is safe, but the Wolf's Den gives you a good chance at livin'. 

Empires fall. The weak.. the world is full of them. They're going to to cull the weak.

I... maybe we shouldn't waste time talking right now.

There's no time. No time!

Jacob... his experiments... he takes us... owns us, speaks to us. He hears us.

They'll find us. They always find people. We gotta leave... before they find us! Before they punish us!

No... keep goin! We move or we die!

Jacob knows. He knows!

You're strong. You're not weak. That's good... good.

I'm alive but I'm weak.. weak. Need to be strong. We are meat. We are all meat.

We could have died. And maybe... maybe I deserved... no, stop, stop! The weak... must be culled!

I... I don't know what we're supposed to do now. Protect and serve? Out here? There's no law anymore, Rook. Look around. Someone should have been here by now. Nobody gives a shit about what's happening here. We're on our own. Survival of the fittest. The weak and strong...

Maybe we didn't survive that crash. Maybe all this is purgatory. We have to atone for all the shit we've done before we can leave this place... we have to suffer before God will grant us salvation.

The whole time I was locked in that room I just kept thinking about how I got here. You know why I became a cop? To get laid. That was it. It was a whim. And then... after awhile, I tried to convince myself that I did it for the greater good. To help people. But I can't. I know that now. Jacob taught me that... I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore... I don't even know who I am.

[STACI DIALOGUE WITH PHIL, THE PEGGIE, IDK]

Stace: I.. I was told to feed the Judges but I didn't know where their food was.

Phil: Jesus, Pratt. Does nothing stick in that brain of yours? Over there, where it's always kept.

Stace: Right! Th..thanks Phil! It won't happen again!

Phil: It better not.

[Also there’s no confirmation this is Staci, but it was right under the above dialogue]

Stace: Hey... I need to get in.

Peggie: Seriously? Didn't I just let you out?

Stace: There's a new prisoner. I got to go get him. For Jacob.

Peggie: Fine. Get goin'. Just leave me the fuck alone.

[bestfrownsforever]

Frown of Doom: Chapter 3

(Cover art by @usf2020​)

The fortress doors opened and Master Frown flew in as fast as his body could carry him.  He yelled as he slammed his fist into his desk, almost crashing into it.

“THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!” he shouted, “WHY IS SO HARD TO KILL THOSE TWO IDIOTS!?  I’M SUPPOSED TO BE STRONGER THAN THEM!  THAN THIS!”

“Well technically they’re not idiots,” Brock said, walking in from behind, “Hawkodile’s been fighting since like, forever, and Dr. Fox is really really smart.  Plus she’s got hundreds of inventions, so…”

“Brock, what are you doing?” Master Frown asked as he turned around, “I thought I told you to watch Unikitty!”  “Oh,” Brock nervously said, “you did, buuut I heard you come in, so I-“

“And what’s with that key in your hand?” Master Frown raised his voice as he walked closer to Brock until they were inches apart and Brock started to sweat.

(Arty by @friffinx​)

“Oh I…uhh…”

“Brock, this doesn’t have to do with Unikitty, does it?”

“No, it uhh…I just, uh…” Brock stammered, sweating even more.

“TELL ME OR I’LL MAKE YOU SAY IT!” the Doom Lord commanded as his eyes burned brighter and he held his hand to the side of his head.

“OK OK FINE,” Brock confessed, “it’s the key to Unikitty’s cage!  We came up with a plan to bring you back to the kingdom so we could…you know, help you.”

“Of course you did,” Master Frown groaned, his eyes getting dimmer with disappointment until they glowed brighter again with his wide grin, “But now I’ve got an even better idea!”  “Oh no,” Brock whispered as Master Frown giggled.  “Oh yes,” Master Frown said, raising an arm out in front of Brock, “If Unikitty still thinks that talking and some dumb science magic will fix everything, then I’ll just have to give her a reality check!”  Brock shut his eyes tightly with pain, struggling to keep himself together.  “And you’re gonna help me whether you like it or not.”

Brock’s eyes opened with red light back shining in them again.

“My apologies,” Possessed Brock calmly said, “I’m ready when you are.”  “Good,” Master Frown said, “now come on!”  He began excitedly making his way to the conference room with Possessed Brock following him.

                                                     : ~~~ :

Hawkodile had been sitting on the same foyer room couch for hours.  More than anything, he wanted to get off his numb tail end and stretch his legs beyond kicking them up and flexing them.  But though he hated admitting it, Rick was right: he had to stay seated until he was in a better condition.  But by nightfall, Hawkodile was feeling a little better; though his arm still hurt, Richard cleaned, disinfected, bandaged, and even sewn it up surprisingly well.  Still, as Hawkodile held his arm and waited for his blocky friend to return again, he kept worrying about Dr. Fox.  He thought about her the most since she ran off, and she still hadn’t come back from the lab.

“I’m back,” Richard announced from afar, carrying casting tape and more bandages to wrap around Hawkodile’s injured arm.

“This should keep you from trying to use your arm while it recovers,” he said, busily making the cast, “I know it won’t help you recover any faster but this is the best I can do until Dr. Fox comes back.”

“Look, Rick,” Hawkodile said, “you’ve already helped out a lot.  If you think about I should be-“

“No,” Richard nearly yelled, “you won’t be fine, so stop saying that you are or you will be!  How many times do I need to tell you that you can’t jump back into a fight with an arm ready to fall apart!?  You still need time to recover!”

“Well yeah,” Hawkodile almost laughed, “I was gonna say that I should be ok enough to see Dr. Fox.  After, you know, everything that happened, I just hope she’s doing ok down there.”

(Art by @arekusatheamazingx​)

“I can understand where you’re coming from,” Richard said, “but really?  I’m sure that if she’s working on anything at the moment, it’ll take a lot of time considering how the fight affected her.  She’s undoubtedly struggling and under a lot of pressure.”

“Yeah, me too!”

Richard floated back an inch as Hawkodile continued.

“That’s why I want to talk to her!  And hey, since plan A didn’t work, maybe we can try something different to save Unikitty.”

Hawkodile’s nervous, wide smile and shrugging shoulders seemed like enough to not convince Richard, but Rick knew that they were running out of options that’d work fast enough to at least see Unikitty again.

“Well possibly,” Richard admitted and helped Hawkodile stand up.

“Alright,” he said as he led Hawkodile to the lab, “let’s just hope it’s good enough.”

                                                               : ~~~ :

Unikitty kept her restless eyes on the conference room doors, and when they opened she gasped with joy, ready to cheerfully ask Brock about the key.  But when she saw that Brock’s eyes were red and Master Frown came in after him with eyes just as red and spinning the keys around his hand with his magic, she gasped far less excited.

“Awww,” Master Frown mocked her, “you thought you could make your way out of this easy-peasy, huh?  Well not this time, you sushiney little slob!  And you know why?  Because you’re in my NEW world now, and you’re never leaving it!”

Master Frown unlocked the cage and Unikitty prepared to zip out, but he grabbed her tail; first with his red aura and then his hands.

“A-a-aah,” he teased Unikitty as he dragged her midair to the closet, “nope!  You’re staying right here, ‘Princess’!”  He threw her into the conference room closet, slamming the door shut and locking her inside.

Unikitty looked around the dark, damp closet.  She started thinking that when Master Frown said he became bigger and stronger, he meant it, but still tried to stay positive.  What could really be worse than killing the other Doom Lords anyway?

The first thing that caught her eyes was a projector.  She stepped closer, noticing that there was film inside.  She wasn’t sure if she should play it but asked about it anyway, to which Master Frown yelled “YES”.  So she started up the projector and watched the film begin.  It was a piece of found footage.

“Who does Master Frown think he is?” the person filming said, “Master Doom didn’t deserve it!  No one did!”

Master Papercuts was hiding in an alleyway.

“What's he doing,” the hollow-eyed Doom Lord said, “going around all proud of killing people for doing our jobs better than him?  Ok, sure, when I first walked in I freaked out seeing them all dead and ran out before he could catch me.  Does that mean I’m gonna run away some more and let them die in vain?  Nope nope nope nope nope nope NOPE!  Because I’m better than him!  I’ll avenge them and become the real best Doom Lord ever!  A new wave of really really bad papercuts is beginning, and there’s nothing, I repeat NOTHING that can stop me from-“

“No witnesses,” Master Frown said, suddenly sliding in behind his co-worker with the same axe he killed the others with.

(Art by @x-master-brock-x​)

The screen turned to static and Unikitty gulped in fear, trying to distract herself from the fact that Master Frown would take down any opposition for sure.  But then she found Master Papercuts’s hat hanging from the ceiling on a string right in front of her, screamed, and as she backed away, tripped over a gun on the floor.  Though hesitant, she picked it up along with the flashlight next to it.  It was a blaster roughly the size of her arm with a small note taped across the grip.  Unikitty turned the flashlight on with one paw to read the small writing:

“I’ve been on the run for two days now.  Reporting a murder should’ve been easier, but every police station in this dreaded town is the same.  Turns out I ‘don’t have evidence’ or a ‘good enough alibis’.  What part of ‘My brother got killed by a maniac and now the guy’s after me because I was a witness and want to keep our home safe’ don’t you understand???  But I can’t keep this up anymore.  I’m too tired, weak, and hungry, so unless I can find an officer that gets stuff done “

The delicate writing stopped, and Master Frown’s sloppy handwriting invaded the rest of the note.

“U’LL DIE TRYING, HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Unikitty got goosebumps.  “This is fake, right?” she insecurely asked.

“Flip it over,” Master Frown yelled from outside.

Unikitty sorrowfully gasped as she did.  Snippets of two “Missing" posters were also taped to the grip.  Both victims’ posters were cut in half, one half each taped together to make what looked like an amateur craft project with the face and names sloppily scribbled out in black and red.

“YEESH, WHAT ELSE IS IN THE CLOSET!?” Unikitty cried, stomping on the ground out of fear.  Se heard something small and metallic fall off a shelf from behind her as a result and turned around.  Lying in the shadows was a pen, and as she picked it up, she paid attention to the buttons on the side: play, pause, rewind, fast fowrd, and a red recording button.  Though more terrified and wondering why someone would make a pen that could record things, she gulped and pressed the play button.

“Hey, you wanna see something cool?”  It was Master Frown’s voice.

“Uhh…sure, what is it?” She assumed the other voice was a Frowntown citizen’s.

“See this pen right here?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

SLAM!

There was an unfinished scream, and the recording ended.

Unikitty moved her paw closer to the tip of the pen to put it away, but felt something icky and gagged.  She moved the pen closer to her face to see what it was, and found the victim from the recording’s eye and brain bits still there rotting away on the pen.

She screamed, one so loud and blood-curdling as the pen flew out of her paws, that turned into ugly sobbing.  Master Frown held his head closer to the closet door, enjoying every second of her pain.

“You hear that!?” he excitedly asked a softly grinning Possessed Brock, “OhHOHOHOHOOOOOH, YES, YES!  I LOVE IT!!!”

“OK OK, I GIVE UP!!!” Unikitty bawled, banging on the closet door, “PLEASE, MASTER FROWN, PLEASE LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!”

“See!?” Master Frown yelled triumphantly, “Now you know what you’re dealing with!  And if you try to find a way out again, YOU’RE NEXT, you hear me!?”

“YES,” Unikitty kept crying, “JUST PLEASE, LET ME OUT!!!  I DON’T WANNA BE IN THIS CLOSET ANYMORE!!!”

“Good,” Master Frown growled happily.  He unlocked the closet, to greet a traumatized Unikitty, her body white as snow and shaking so much that she could hardly stand, and her eyes ready to pour more buckets of tears.  “Now BACK IN THE CAGE WITH YOU!”  He tossed her into her tiny prison, and as she crash-landed inside, he slammed the cage shut and locked it.

(Art by @usf2020​, again)

“No…” Unikitty whimpered as she struggled to move until she could stand and yell “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?”

Master Frown and Possessed Brock left the room without a word.

“What have you done?” Unikitty whispered again before breaking down.

                                                          : ~~~ :

Hawkodile and Richard entered the lab in shock.  It became a mess of broken objects and stained walls and floors, one so messy that they couldn’t even see Dr. Fox herself until they spotted her in a curled up, shaking, panicking mess on the floor.  Tear marks stained her furry face and her glasses were cracked.

The two looked at each other, unsure of how well talking to Dr. Fox would go.  But they knew she’d get worse if nothing was done, so they walked slowly towards her.  Richard stopped a few yards away to give Hawkodile more space, and the bodyguard stopped once he felt close enough to Dr. Fox.  He knelt down and softly asked for her by name, to which she turned around, screamed, and turned back, hyperventilating louder and faster than before and trying to cover herself up with bent and crumpled up papers.

“No D-Dr. Fox, it’s ok,” Hawkodile hopefully tried calming her down, “It’s just us.”

“NO!” Dr. Fox yelled, “Please go away!  It’s best for all of us if just you leave me alone…”

“No, it’s really not,” Hawkodile tried to explain, “Because without you we have no chance at stopping Master Frown and saving Unikitty!  Now look, I know that today’s battle was…not that great for us, but it’s all just one little slip up if you think about it-”

“NO IT’S NOT!!!” Dr. Fox had enough strength to say to Hawkodile’s face, “I MADE THE GREATEST MISTAKE I POSSIBLY COULD, DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND!?  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, NOT JUST AS A SCIENTIST BUT AS A PERSON!  AND TO YOU OF ALL PEOPLE, SO HOW CAN YOU SAY THOSE THINGS!?  I DON’T WANT ANYTHING LIKE THIS TO EVER HAPPEN AGAIN!”

Hawkodile thought about how he likely still wasn’t helping but felt that he had to keep trying.

“No, I know!  Believe me, I know.  You’re right, this did happen to me.  But look, it was an accident.  So even if I’m still in a lot of pain, I can’t really get mad at you because this is something none of us have ever prepared for.  So right now the best thing we can do is get up and try again.  And better!  Think about it: this is Unikitty we’re fighting for.  She’d wouldn’t give up on us if her life depended on it, and right now her life depends on us.  So I don’t know but if I were you, I’d get myself together and back on the team, and find her before it’s too late.”

“I-I know,” Dr. Fox sniffled, “I want to as much as you do, Hawk…but what if I mess up again?  You could  all die, Master Frown would win, and it’d be my fault!”

“Listen Doc,” Hawkodile gently put his arm on her shoulder, “you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.  There’s no way we’d let you do all the big stuff alone.  I can still fight!…” He looked back at his other arm.  “Well I’m gonna need some help first, but that still kinda proves my point.  If we’re gonna fight Master Frown again, we need to stick together.  And it’ll be different this time, I promise.”

Hawkodile held Dr. Fox’s hands and looked deep into her eyes.  “I’ll give you all the help you need.”

(Art by @its-a-me-lava​)

“Hawkodile…”

Just when he thought all his words meant nothing, Dr. Fox hugged him.

“You’re right!  It was dumb to think I’d be the kingdom’s big hero anyway.  We gotta give each other the help we need.  In fact, I think I can fix your arm and find a way to successfully raid Frowntown!”  She got up and walked out from under her desk.

“Of course, we have no idea how successful it’ll be, but hey, we still gotta try, right?”  Dr. Fox turned back to Hawkodile and winked at him.  He blushed and giggled.

“Yeah…we do.”

Richard leaned over gave a small smile, proud of his friends.

“So what do you say, guys?” Dr. Fox asked her friends, already regaining some confidence, “Let’s head back out there!”  She held a fist up in the air.  “For Unikitty!”

“For Unikitty!” Hawkodile joined her.  The fist bump turned into them holding their hands…and Hawkodile blushing harder.

The three walked upstairs to discuss potential rescue plans when Puppycorn suddenly greeted them.

“There you guys are!”  the prince said, relieved, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!  Why are you still not telling me what’s going on?  I miss Unikitty just as much as you do, you know!”

Dr. Fox, Hawkodile, and Richard looked at each other, trying to decide who had the best answer to give him.  But Richard got the most stares, so he sighed and floated closer to Puppycorn.

“Well, Hawkodile and Dr. Fox just agreed to go to Frowntown and rescue Unikitty.”

“Aww yeah!” Puppycorn shouted as he wagged his tail, “Can I come?”

“For the last time,” Richard sighed as Hawkodile and Dr. Fox cringed behind him, “no.”

“AGAIN!?” Puppycorn angrily protested, “But why!?  And you better tell me this time!”

“Ok slugger,” Hawkodile explained, “we know how much you love your sister, and trust us, we’d like to have more on the team.  But Master Frown’s become really dangerous as of late, and you’re uh…”

“Too inexperienced,” Dr. Fox continued for him, “Let’s put it that way.  We’re doing this to keep you safe, Puppycorn!  Hawkodile and I know a bit more when it comes to actually fighting and can’t afford to lose anyone else like we did Unikitty.  You see what he did to Hawkodile, right?  Just imagine what he could do if he got his hands on you.”

“Yeah it’d hurt,” Hawkodile tried putting it lightly.

“Indeed,” Richard agreed.

(Art by Michelle, who’s not on Tumblr)

“Well you know what else hurts?” Puppycorn pouted, “Being left out of something huge because you think I’m not smart enough to understand it!  And it’s not fair!  If you’re so scared of losing me, what about  Hawk and Dr. Fox!?  You can still lose them out there when they’re fighting!  Unikitty’s my big sister!  And I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again!  So if you can’t save her, then I want to.”  He looked away and hung his head to the side.

Everything was quiet until Dr. Fox gasped and shouted “THAT’S IT!  Puppycorn, you’re right!”

“He is?” Hawkodile and Richard asked.

“I am?” Puppycorn happily asked after them.

“Yes,” Dr. Fox joyfully explained, “Hawkodile and I can do the fighting, but you can do the rescuing!  Why didn’t I think of it before?”

“Wait, you’re right!” Hawkodile agreed.

“Yeah,” Puppycorn shouted, “let’s do it!”

“Hold up,” Hawkodile held Puppycorn by the head to stop him from running, “we still need to fix my arm.  Plus we’re gonna need more weapons and gadgets and I’ll have to show you some ways to defend yourself if you get in trouble.”

“Ok cool!” Puppycorn said, his tail wagging again.

“Which means we probably won’t leave until tomorrow,” Dr. Fox added.

“Ok,” Puppycorn’s mood didn’t change as Hawkodile let him go and he ran around in circles, “we’re still gonna save my big sis together, woo-hoo!!”

Richard knew he couldn’t stop them from doing something this risky and even a little stupid, but also that it was the best they could do.

“Just be careful out there,” was all he could say.  “Don’t worry, Richard,” Dr. Fox told him, “we’ve got this completely under control, right guys?”

The brick gave her a stare of disbelief as Puppycorn and Hawkodile cheered “Yeah!”

Dr. Fox put her fist in the air again.  “Come on guys, for Unikitty!  Again!”

“Yeah, again!”

“Aww yeah!”

                                                         : ~~~ :

As the sun rose over Unikingdom the next morning, the castle residents prepared to for the day’s big fight.

“Ok,” Hawkodile instructed everyone, eyeing Puppycorn specifically, “so one more time this way no one forgets: Dr. Fox, Puppycorn, and I are heading to Frowntown together and Rick will stay here to take care of the kingdom until at least one of us gets back.”

“Yes,” Richard said as he wearily looked at his friends, hoping it wouldn’t be the last, “just remember to please be careful out there.”

“We gotcha, Rick,” Puppycorn gave him a salute, “we promise, we’ll have Unikitty with us when we get back!”  He ran off giggling.

“Yeah,” Dr. Fox stepped closer to her floating gray friend, “if we’re successful, we’ll be right back.”

“We got this,” Hawkodile reassured Richard, putting his hand on Dr. Fox’s shoulder.  Then he pointed and yelled “Now let’s move out!”

The mission had begun.

That same morning, Master Frown watched the dull excuse for sunlight drift over Frowntown from the Doom Lord fortress rooftop.

(Art by me)

“Today’s going to be special…I can feel it.”

His evil giggle echoed through the town.

Well…happy St. Patrick’s Day!  :D

(Sorry if the wait for this one was a bit longer than expected.)

But wow oh wow, we’re roughly halfway through the AU’s story already!  Feels like just yesterday I was still working on the asks and still thinking about how the story would end.

A few more co-artists joined since last time as well, so not all of them got to work on art this time.  But the ones that did are, again, credited above.  I also promise that you’ll get to see more of them and their art in the upcoming chapters, so keep your eyes peeled!

(Even if chapter 4 is about as long as chapter 1 was and may take a while.)

See you soon!  ;)

[wrathofthewind]

vii. Curse

Arnalt came in and out of consciousness, and every time he came to, the world was upside down. It was only after several days of being steadily administered with a continuous flow of spiritual energy and heavy dosages of anesthetic tea that he finally had the strength to peel his eyes open. His arm was bandaged and splinted, but it hurt like a bitch when he tried to move.

Ithana hadn’t just injured his shoulder, she’d also fractured a line in his spiritual power, causing a momentary break in his spiritual flow that made him hallucinate or faint with vertigo. 

He must’ve tried standing in his haze several times because his arms were now held down by ropes.

As soon as he looked conscious and stable, and after answering a few questions to the attending medic to confirm his state, the ropes were released and the attendant sighed with relief. 

Bael was there, a drink in his hand, and behind him Pallax was giving instructions to that servant girl Pagytha. Something, something, he likes them with a sprinkle of cinnamon, oh, they were probably talking about his breakfast. It was hard to feel starved though when you were so nauseous.

“Ugh.” Arnalt grumbled and an attendant quickly came to help him sit up. “What’s the status?”

Pallax immediately reported. “Compound fracture on your scapula, swelling and trauma to the glenohumeral joint, and some ugly bruising but nothing your highness hasn’t healed from before.”

He lowered his head.

“It’s not your fault I’m so behind on my training.”

“I am your teacher. This is my responsibility.”

“You can’t hope to compete with the Lioness of—“

Crack.

“CAN YOU NOT— ugh, I’m too nauseous for this shit.”

Pallax had easily dislocated his shoulder with a single chop from his hand, and just as quickly…

Click crack.

He adjusted it back in place. His face clenching and unclenching as he did so.

“In penance for my oversights.” He kneeled down and lowered his head, ashamed.

Arnalt had barely woken up, he rolled his eyes. “That was unnecessary,” he winced again, “but fine, fine.” He waved his left hand a bit to dismiss it. “Stand.”

“Ok if I had a Pallax in my state I would not be this fat.” Bael said this just as he reached for a plate of biscuits and scarfed them down. “You know?” He had his mouth full but kept talking a bit. “Or moobee I coulth conk urr sum villages or sumthin…” he wiped his mouth and took a large drink from a half-full glass that was laying by his side. He seemed to think for a minute then look at Arnalt’s shoulder seriously.  “Good thing it’s not a permanent injury.”

Arnalt nodded, and smirked, even though he was deathly pale, nauseous and still a bit damp from the pain sweats. “Hmf, how could it be?”

“Ithana really has a soft spot for you, I once saw her crush Gildegad’s whole hand. Before she smashed his nose in.”

And Gildegad never got that hand back. It was eventually cut off and replaced with a metal one.

Tyssen came into the room and Arnalt quickly felt his surroundings shrink. “Bael, could you leave us for a minute?”

“Alright,  I just wanted to check if you’d be ok. I’ll leave you to your business.” He gathered his things and finished his goblet. “Try not to start unnecessary duels again?” Once more, Bael’s face felt momentarily serious before that wide smile and mirth rippled through it once again and he hopped off to go. “Have a good one! Don’t get more bones broken while I’m gone! I can’t always have my Chef on hand to make your recovery meals gourmet you know? And…” his voice trailed off in the hall and Tyssen quickly shut the door.

The attendant had already left.

Arnalt immediately looked at him with a satisfied smile about to form, but his face quickly fell. Tyssen didn’t look happy.

“They caught him.”

Well, he hadn’t counted on that!

“Didn’t he memorize the map last night?”

“He did, but, he was a little overzealous and I believe he didn’t actually sleep, I woke up to find him in the same position, still reading the thing. I don’t think he slept.”

Arnalt wanted to scream for very different reasons now.

“An exhausted brain leads a fool to his grave. Where are they keeping him? And how… where did he get caught?”

“He somehow ended up close to Ithana’s stables, they found him on his way to steal a horse.”

If Arnalt could use both his hands he would’ve cradled his whole head. As It was, he just cradled his forehead with the one.

“As for where they’re keeping him… They’re not.”

“Don’t tell me…”

“The Prison Wagon departed to the Winterlands that very same day.”

A failure. All for naught.

Arnalt extended his arm and Pallax handed him a bowl of soup. He took one look at it and sneered. Pallax chose another plate, one of the many Bael had left behind, and this one was a bruleed toast with with fresh ham and melted cheese, a dab of marmalade peeping through the crust.

Arnalt shook his head again.

Finally he settled on the plate of sautéed sliced potatoes with chives, warm grains with fried bacon slices and a vegetable concasse.

Arnalt ate silently until the plate was clean.

An hour passed. Tyssen and Pallax didn’t move a muscle.

“I should let him rot up there. He deserves it.”

…

“I don’t care if he’s a stupid teenager.”

…

“I’m not that far from his age I wouldn’t have let myself get caught like that.”

…

“He’s so bloody dumb, he really is only muscle and no brain.”

…

“Your Highness your injured.” Tyssen simply mumbled.

“Your Highness I can’t recommend this.” Pallax quickly trailed.

“Pass me the toast, and we depart in a week.” Arnalt finished.

“Why do you bother keeping it alive? He’s already lived an enchanted life for any Kurian!” Tyssen finally spoke his mind.

“He is my ward!” Arnalt said simply. “I’m responsible for him. They said he wouldn’t grow more than a few inches and look how tall he’s gotten, they said his brain would be addled by the curse yet look what he’s become, DUMB SURE, but smart enough, they said he was weak and he would die and if anything he eats like TEN men combined, weak is NOT what he is. He’s not cursed, he’s like any other boy with potential for greatness. And I, Arnalt Azuria, am the first in the history of Aegeria to successfully raise a Kurian. Isn’t that something!”

Pallax rolled his eyes but Arnalt didn’t catch him, thankfully.

“Your Highness, he is 15 now, fast approaching maturity and his curse is catching up with him, with us! You saw what happened! He decimated that hall. The mission was perfectly under control and his impulsiveness nearly killed us all! He may not be getting weaker, or smaller, but it’s worse because he’s becoming stronger, and even more dangerous! That magic…”

Pallax interceded. “I must agree with Lord Tyssen your highness. Sometimes the best mercy with a ferocious animal is to eliminate it, prevent the destruction of many with the sacrifice of one. I had often heard that children cursed by the Kur especially would naturally die before age 16 and their death was marked by a burst of malicious energy. It could very well be that he’ll unleash the poisons at Tahr and perhaps that’s why—“

“…”

“Go on, say it. Speak your mind Pallax.” Arnalt spoke sharply.

“Perhaps this is the real reason he’s being sent to the Glaes, and, this might’ve always been the fate that was planned for him, even if you granted him your Mercy.”

Silence enveloped the room.

“And what of it?” Arnalt insisted. “If this was my family just waiting for an excuse—“

“They didn’t need to wait!” Tyssen cut in, finally losing his patience. “He gave them one! And he’s been giving several the more we approach his 16 suns! This is what the Opal spoke of, and you—“

“I KNOW WHAT THE OPAL SPOKE OF.”

…

Arnalt felt that pain and numbness again in his arm, and took a deep breath to both control the pain and control himself. He’d long put the plate down. “I heard the Opal. It was my coronation of course I heard the Opal. But a prophecy is just that, a prophecy, predictions, possibilities, and not all of them come true, or if they do, not the way anyone ever thinks. In the end we can only guide ourselves by our own code and our own nature and let Fate fall where it may. You were both there, and all you heard the Opal saw was that among us had risen a blight. That this blight would cause a devastation, that the heavens would split… You know what I heard?”

Neither Tyssen nor Pallax answered.

“I heard him say I—“ he slammed his fist on the night table next to him, “ARNALT THE EAGLE AZURIA, HAVE THE POWER TO PREVENT THIS.”

He swallowed the bile in his stomach, as any extertion made him want to hurl. But he kept his back straight and bore through it.

“So trust me. Because this is what I see right now. I see a 15 year old boy, with enormous potential, who is mostly scared and vulnerable and needs guidance. That boy could very well become the destruction of our realm if we keep treating him this way. It will be our fault, not his if he destroys us in the future!”

Tyssen and Pallax glanced at each other and nodded. Whether they agreed or not, there was nothing else to say.

“In a week then.” Tyssen echoed.

“We’ll need a good reason to take his highness away from the palace. And the healing facilities.” Pallax finished.

“I think it’s time to pay a visit to my dear Lady Olandra.”

Understanding reached the two knight’s faces. Pallax rubbed his chin. “This, this might work.”

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a  young woman was shoved inside with a yelp! Just as quickly the door slammed shut and when Pallax jumped to push it open he found it impossible, someone was holding it in place from the outside. 

A bolt slid across and locked all them all inside abruptly! A few steps were heard and then faded. They couldn’t get out. 

“YOU!” Arnalt stared at the young woman.

The young woman lifted her face and it was covered in black dust! 

“Sire!” She cried. “Help!”

[whatsthenameofthisgame]

Intergalactic Interrogations (II)

"Where am I?"

[What do you mean?]

"Instead of just sitting there moving blood all day, and failing roughly might I add,- Are you recording this conversation? That's disrespectful, I'll have you know we started learning binary and ridiculous little facts about your friend. I don't know who raised you wrong,"

[Hey.}

"I'd- {emmited} have you forget. Speak English numb for brawl! *maybe there is a slap here*"

["Go to the top 10 close or near you everywhere you go that you consider the smartest people in the world & become their best friends foreverest...," I drawl out every one of my answers like a disgusting fountain, yet they aren't happy with any of them. To think it all could have started with a scared girl asking me what I know and warp through timespace paranoia, or that quantum mechanics has caused this all to be real.]

"Here's (apparently) what living sages do they write all of the time. And they secretly don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about them."

[I'm listening to someone write the show for me, I don't always connect parts of my brain with other parts so well, but when I don't its's because I'm completely mental that I can make things out as other sounds.]

"He inserted apparently over us. What a dick head."

[I was writing before this as well. Get ready for another roundabout of Intergalactic Interrogations]

["How would you describe this, Fake Judas(2) what kind of situation do we have here? Remember, I'm made to forget and then reremember again."]

"It's very logical. It's simple. You have to have a Marine Corp mindset in infilitrating the cause."

[I am both afraid and completely unafraid of what I am doing. To be afraid of this silly game would be ridiculous and stupid. On the other hand he's been learning from me as I learn from him-]

"He's been completely thinking ridiculous things over what we're saying. He's a whoremonger." ""IT IT,"" maybe demons scream, but I am untethered from the boulder like a chain beneath the ocean, the weight simply presses into the sand. The fishes swim around as I wander in my drowning to the top where the ship is safe in the sunlight.

[On the other hand- quantum questions pose like prose, possessing possibly -  I ignore FakeJudas(2). It is hard to keep up with everything. I need a writer still. I turn to Affiliate. Please have Alliteration do her thing without guiding us into rap for hours on end again, thank you very much. Affiliate looks confused and furious, for I often thought he was on the wrong end of the job spectrum ever since our staycation in the fire bird land of no sounds, place of the falsified Gods, faces in the spaces, The Devil's home of Peter's ignorances ... Anyway where was I? It is really hard to keep up with everybody and everything. There is a whole plot line, that I feel truly matters, and we are all missing it for the amount of activity going on in all of your heads while I've got mine. Is it mine? To start. Or are all of these conversations I'm tapping into the way of the real brain. Every particle of water an ocean? Every idea a world of thought? I already thought so. It isn't time for creative freedoms. I think we are supposed to focus on my suicide. For the sake of suicide. "Aha! Where we were last standing, one of the better reasons why I have roses elegantly and unevenly tattooed on my fingers. They're both cocked and one is in my mouth outright, while the other is at you. It was in your hands, and I gave you the tools necessary to save it. Save your belly aching. Every bit of paranoia, was it real, or were you trying to induce it? Save it for the masses. I know it's always a little bit of both. And that the most obvious answer is usually the truth. Variety is the best spice- and I'll have at my dad's pizza with way too much spice, for the loving good Grace from which Moses parted the water of life into place, (I am making a Tokyo MewMew joke that is a bit elongated) the V for which has He, Friends With Time, Drawer of Lord Excalibur when I actually love myself, rainbow gay pride I've forgotten uniciorn chapter books volume one and two powers activate!) *I start to turn, /now I am not paying attention to anything as I mash jokes into my own life story./

"This is what we paid for. This is disgusting filth. Think you can handle it?"

Think you can handle it? Would Filthy Frank even read this shit right here? We didn't even pay for all of these references. We're just hoping we get so many more people on team blue than team red so that we're able to just diss the suing right out of the waters like a lotus. Hah! Get that. I'm named after water so I'm doing water jokes. Listen, kid. I have heard a lot of jokes from the demons. You really don't want to start with me. I'm trained to accept them as a compliment, which I was saying back before we were all *I'm channeling Filthy Frank's voice in a ricefields sunhat visor right here* simple and shit. Now they are even trying to insult me with compliments and it's working. Listen, you never did knew that evil was good and proper and right. There was a new face of evil on the block, and it was the face of a genius sociopathic borderline child.

"Oh my God, You really do think like you're God."

[Guess what. Bitches, I have Autism so I cannot understand the emotional connotation in your words. Knowing that, I interpret it as fast as crazy, which is why no sweat because I also know that sometimes that's exactly what you're doing. Meaning I think of many ideas and crap. Your every thought could come to me like an intellectual process. I have no way of being.]

"Do you think you're special? Stay on topic please, I've seen we've gone a little socio today lady."

["I am silent. All is the same in my canoe which is made of wood and has travelled from hell through the underground rivers to the open and vast, great sea. Cold, or hot, shivering or sweating, thirst or hunger, war, famine, fire, flood, I know that I must and can navigate through it and 'round, 'round again, for this canoe and its lantern was tethered to my soul, it was tethered to my idea of neutral state meditation through chaotic forces. I was the canoe, one could say. I was the ship. Or the wood. The wood which came from the tree. Maybe The Tree. A Tree of Time, careful creature, making friends with it. And as the tree, and with brainwaves being like a tree, and all things one in the same, I made a hollow for those beyond to perch before they fade to worlds-"]

"This is artinery, itternerary(?) Get to the point."

[Often what I say, I sort of contribute to ghosts and other things.]

"This is what we get out of you? Jesus. (What are you, Santiago?) What happened to the sainthood?"

["Indeed I am Santiago, Another one of my many names, Dare ye say it, (Which they didn't.)]

"Look at what this kid is thinking of completely loaded. I think that maybe it is hilarious. Or perhaps all his excuses for crap."

[Indeed that all of this content was now filler. JENGA was on hiatus since the before times. We cannot remember those Interrogation Negotiations. But they were amazing. We have screenshots of half of them and had to delete the better half because they were too good and terrifying. We will try to interpret the rest of them someday (soon?).]

[The prophet wasn't just an excuse I made up. It was A Dream. A Dream that one day we will live not by the color of our skin, but by the confusing and complex mental makup which propels us towards the best future for us evolutionarily. Forget about that, everything. Like you have made me, by my words, let us start from the beginning.

Two systems learning from each other causes complex interactions to occur, especially when both have different and unfair advantages over each other. One could say each part of the brain that makes up the whole is its own complex system.]

"Stop talking about them to other people. I hope they rot for what they did to those people."

[Here is a classic bit where I have the chance to explain how either The Devil or The Enemy (FakeJudas2) Might try to make me look like the culprit. Reverse Psychology. It works on me. Which is why my card is chaotic. I don't want you to know what I'm doing, and if you do, then why should it matter what I do? It seems the whole world knows and yet no one knows. God knows what nobody feels like, because he is like us, we are made in his image. If I am nobody, he is nobody. So nobody knows just as well enough as anybody knows. But in both parts give or take, there are still bodies. Lot's of bloody and mutilated bodies which The Enemy has made of my Friends' & Loved One.]

/I take le break/

Depending on how serious JENGA gets, we have to use different members of the army through me. How did we get here, how is this all possible. It is a really meaningful story with lots of science, but we do not have infinite time. I will try to get to that at most.

"What about your boyfriend,"

["For the sake of Einstein, for the sake of proving you can go from Autism to full-blown socio, that realizing the brain works in the way that it does, and that it is all of your faults for being stupid assholes. It my fault for being a stupid asshole. And God is My Judge. Not You."]

"So, are you planning on telling him about any of this, or do you not know how important he is?"

["For the sake of insanity, genius is found."]

"Are you still completely avoiding the question? And how is it that he knows we're watching him for? Does he complete God in the blood?"

[Some things I do not understand. Or remember, or reitterate well. Catch me on drugs. Dattebayo! *flashback* Dattebayo was where it all started. The ten men, pandora's box, the stories, the puzzles, the lands across, the signs, a single time fine dining, and it is also there but not completely all-there.]

"So dattebayo was where it all started, huh? How embarrassing for one so wasted on the regular."

["Never giving up. Dattebayo. Believe it." "How about the story of the modulators some more? Before or after they were modulators? I have many stories to entertain you."]

"even when the conversation is all dead he has a way of going more crazy." a girl chimes in "He's probably been listening to what we are saying and considering it as JENGA."

he continues "Tell me a story to entertain me, that is what I am here for, give me a wild ride, show me some lude-icrous, something more, vivid, that shows me your kind of ideal lifestyle."

["You sounded like the villain in Tarzan for a second there. Well that's me, Tarzan. Me. Need. Jane. Didn't think I could play her. Rub the mud on my face, ask my monkey mother why I am not like them, she says to wipe the mud off.]

"I'm getting more curious, about what you're doing... you can write more than pages, you can write a book."

[I have, it's something I've always been working on. I've written loads of books, just lost, unpublished, deleted... How about I get really high and have someone speak through me now that we're getting down to the odds and ends. Let's get to the nitty-gritty of it. Once you find a way to constantly market off of things that might bother you, you have struck gold my son. The idea however, is to make them better, not worse, so they have a reason to last through the ages. Easier said than done...]

"He/She talks like an old wheezer. They can't- Can they hear me? Can they hear over our conversations? *plethoras of someones' breathy Oh my Gods" over everything. That means they know we're here, they can really hear us! Good job,"

[Did the dialogue switch into a ghosts' narration? It is hard to tell without any figures to watch with my eyes, and the words coming with systems built into a natural Ouija of my own. I won't literally raise hell again, yet... it is always tempted. And must be avoided. We're stepping too close to stories of old. The quantum questions must be pressed. Think harder. I don't know what it is you're thinking, I'm only typing. I am a genius if we aren't psychic, and a numbskull for God if we are All One.

The modulators can be set to different configurations, and put into different settings and events to see the initial outcomes in a module. At all of the Modulators worst configurations, M for their last name is capital. A good example of perfect awful configurations is religious reenactments by a family module within my own person. One's nature is that of a dads', Two is that of a moms', Three is that of a sons', four is that of a daughters', And the configurations always leans towards the predominantly biased neutral algorithyms.

Too much math, too may graphs to come, not sure how to organize it all, so we will have to say, partay.]

"So it feels like you're being taken advantage of by everything." my best friend asks me as my mom may also paranoidly be bothering my brother about me in the distance because I am typing so fast in the middle of the night.

[We've has this conversation before, so it's GroundHog day, only bigger, it's a show.]

"That's what we've been trying to tell you, You should write a show instead of bothering, us."

["Where is Jeremy Todd Ewbank?" I am the horseman, or headless, all the numbers, and the dungeon master because we currently already have a dab master, so you can Direct Message me the answer, Because I'm the Daniel Manual you've been looking for.]

"Jeremy Ewbank is not with us anymore. He's literally done. He can barely breath from your shit."

[The interrogations go haywire as soon as they begin again. Which one of us is being interrogated. "What happened to Jeremy Ewbank. Don't make me rhyme a hundred things with master in a bad rap. Aye, you know that gurl was my princess. You know, we know, we would never let go of or throw away one another, so where is he, *I put an invisible gun, but because I have written this, I will always be paranoid of them. We have to avoid them.

Evacuation Strategies: Red dots: Fun if you're a cat, dangerous if it is a gun. Shrodinger's Gun.

I take a break from interrogations because of laziness and lack of drugs. "JENGA," I claim, and the imaginary tower falls. How to explain a thing about creative manifestation to you, about all of the wild possibilities? So hard, I'd rather play Nintendogs for three hours.]

This is breaking bread with thine enemy

[kisuminight]

There is a ship that jumped to an unknown place, so it could keep going. So the adventures could continue. And that ship and her passengers jumped so far, to another place entirely. Another when. Another world.

They find familiar things. Familiar places, just a half-step off from normal. Aching echoes of a time unsullied, but still stained by memories and the creeping rot of war. Their species does not exist; perhaps no longer or mayhaps it never did. 

It might be for the best, that no one and nothing knows them now, not even the oldest beings in this brave new universe that they tread. Their path is long, longer still to those with frailer mortality than they, and soon there are tales of the always adventuring ship and her always changing crew that doesn’t really change at all, no matter what species they seem to be at the moment. The myths spread.

Then they stumble across a truly familiar planet. A place that was home, and hated, and loved. Torn up by their war, and then tore up their hearts. Everyone remembers the brave girl in her armor. It’s enough to make them want to see if they can find her again. If maybe things aren’t so different after all.

There’s shore leave. Reasonable shore leave for them which is months for the little planet whirling around on it’s axis. They hide their ship in the shadow of the moon, cloak themselves in ways that none of them really forgot, no matter how distant the pain eventually grew in their memories.

And then the (co-)captain comes back from a trip down-planet with--”What the scrap did you do to your spark!”

This is not how new Cybertronians form. They do not get what is the equivalent of Earth-pregnancy. Ratchet is ranting.

“Sari had to come from somewhere, who knows how Scorponok started her originally,” because the Scavengers are visiting, and Spinister is more interested in poking at the scans of Misfire’s latest damage from a hair-brained stunt to worry about antagonizing the former CMO.

Not something we had on Caminus, Lotty confirms, and the fact that she had wanted extra scans from Nautica’s more specialized equipment means they now have Brainstorm and Perceptor in there too, on top of the fretting Drift.

It shouldn’t have been possible, not through a holoform. Except it did happen. Because Ego was too damn smug, though that a couple days of fun was enough, and left a bit of his light behind. Light which is a little too close to a spark. Oops?

Peter Quill grows up having space adventures. Not that his name is actually Peter Quill. That’s his Earth-name, when they sometimes come stopover to have shore leave. Earth is a comfort, even an unfamiliar Earth--for all that they’re having to get craftier about avoiding detection when they jump into the solar system. Look that those humans advancing! They’ve gone and made it all the way to the moon. They’re sending out greeting messages!

Magnus is sternly disapproving over anything involving messing with probes and/or other space tech. No, Whirl, sending it back with cybertronian expelatives is not a good idea for a prank. Brainstorm, no tampering.

Peter Quill grows up as Star Lord (Rodimus is so proud of the name that his bby chose. So proud).

He’s an infant as far as the LL is concerned. He’s doing the thing Sari spent the first 100+ vorns of her life doing, which is looking like he’s human when he’s really not. He gets kidnapped off of shore leave by a gang of space pirates.

Yondu+crew are trying to apply a space translator when the tiny human starts cursing them out in multiple space languages. Okay? Is this a new thing that Ego’s children can do? Because Earth is supposed to be a no-go zone.

(It’s a no-go zone and yet there’s a giant #%@ space ship parked behind the moon. None of their sensors detect it. Apparently none of anybody else’s sensors detect it either. That thing dwarfs their ship. No fools, they get right the hell out of there. The ravagers aren’t stupid enough to stick around when they’re that massively outgunned.)

Threatening to eat the kid does not calm him down. Nothing does, until someone starts a round of drinking game/stories about that stupid ghost ship, Ellie, and it’s stupid not-changing (ridiculously changing) ghost crew. The kid is not screeching anymore, which is an improvement. He is correcting the stories that he is not supposed to know anything about, which is not.

After about the third interjection along the lines of “no, those two are the same person. Yes the Hatchet is the medic, he’s just grouchy. No, that’s Mims, he’s not a space-cop anymore” and a whole lot of booze, it’s an even toss up of whether the kid is just plain irritating or actually kind of amusing. Even if he clearly doesn’t know what the heck he’s talking about because that red-and-white one with the attitude (no, the other red-and-white one with an attitude) is clearly a serial murderer of some kind.

They keep the new kid alive until the next planet, which is half miracle, until they get stuck docking at a planet next to a ship with a name that just doesn’t translate in any of their systems or in any of the (very sketchy; this is a place where Yondu’s crew are “welcome”) port authority’s databases. It vaguely says something about W.A.P--such a weird name for a ship--and it’s kind of stupidly huge.

“Baby brother!” shrieks the tiny kid standing by the loading ramp, which gets them side-eyed by the two other crew members sticking by her.

“Why,” asks a huge bruiser with metal skin that looks a lot like scales, “do you have the brat with you?” Brat sounds half endearment, half iritation, and entirely too protective.

The only reason that Yondu+crew get out of that one alive is because they haven’t actually landed yet, and Grimlock is a bit more concerned about losing Sari next to the kidnappers than going after them. Yet.

*

I can’t really decide how it goes from there. Scavengers and LL crew chasing the Yondu+crew around the galaxy because they took the bby! Obviously they’d get caught. Realistically it’d probably be soon, but I kind of like the idea of them managing to run for, like a couple of space years and then eventually getting pounced on and having Roddy go “You’ve been missing for the [cybertronian equivalent] of a week! Are you okay?!!!”

Realistically Yondu+crew would probably end up very dead (esp. given Drift, the fact that Roddy’s baby getting kidnapped would probably make him cry, and very, very horrible memories of all involved about what functionalists and their ilk would do to a Bby!cybertronian that had an odd conception turning everyone’s reaction up to wartime levels of must-kill). But also the LL crew sometimes makes friends. So, probably most of the crew would end up dead (excepting Yondu because plot armor and also probably Cybertronian hacking getting to the messages from Ego about fetching his poor, orphaned kids) but some would survive.

Roddy does not die in this. Roddy carried the matrix. You think that Ego’s light is gonna do him any harm? Boy, you are seriously overestimating yourself. Also, the whole LL crew’s clear narrative surrounding shouting in the face/defeating false gods will def. come into play. What, like it’s the first time they’ve picked a fight with an evil planet? (Technically yes, given that not!primus was a puppet under someone else’s control, and not actually evil).

Yes, I am using the MCU version of GOTG, because that’s the one I’m most familiar with, unfortunately.

Also, the idea of having our favorite shipfull of LLighter’s running around just mucking up plotlines.

Lost light -> LL -> Ellie. It’s a joke that really only makes sense in English, but I was a little sad that it never got made in the comic itself. So, in this ‘verse, the Lost Lighters all just call their ship “Ellie” to the point where the mythos around her basically thinks that is there name.

Cybertronian does not have an entry in any translators, not matter how universal they are. It’s so frustrating to everyone else.

Since it’s my AU, Rung is also alive. Everyone cool with that?

[theimpossiblescheme]

“Where do you come from, where do you go?  What is your scene, baby, we just gotta know!”

I said I was gonna make an appreciation post for Yvonne Craig’s ’66 Batgirl, so… here she is, Barbara Gordon, that Dominoed Dare-Doll out to strike at the heart of crime!

The network wanted to introduce Barbara Gordon to the show almost immediately after her “Million-Dollar Debut” in the comics, and being renewed for a third season gave them the perfect opportunity.  After airing a short presentation to introduce the character, featuring Babs in a much pointier mask fighting off Killer Moth and his goons, they were given the green light to properly usher her into the show.  The rest, of course, is network television history; and while a lot of people can agree that the third season of the show was largely a series of missteps, Batgirl was definitely not one of them.

What makes Babs so interesting in this show is that she’s the perfect demonstration of how femininity and badassery don’t have to be mutually exclusive.  She’s naturally a very warm, charming, and eminently helpful person who goes out of her way to look after her family and her community. She’s a bookworm who works at the Gotham City library and studied almost every subject.  She’s very much a daddy’s girl who almost never fights with her father and regularly invites him over to watch TV with her.  She loves to cook and entertain guests.  She loves classical music and museums of all kinds.  She dresses like Jackie Kennedy at a thrift shop.  She loves to surf and swim and has a thing for charming jocks.  She keeps a gorgeous apartment full of trinkets and vintage furniture with a little parakeet named Charlie to keep her company.  And she visibly wears striking eye makeup even under her Batgirl cowl.

For God’s sake, her Batgirl motorcycle has ruffles on it!

But absolutely none of that takes away from what a devastatingly competent crimefighter she is.  In fact, she uses her reputation as an underestimated Girly-Girl ™ to her best advantage, similar to the way Babs does in Batgirl: Year One.  People tend to not pay her any mind because she’s a girl who can’t possibly do anything interesting in her spare time?  Gives her plenty of time to build her own Batgirl Cave in the back room of her apartment, complete with a revolving wall for ease of access to her costume station, an early computer and switchboard with a Lucite screen, a forensic chemistry set, and an elevator lift for her motorcycle!

People expect her to be soft and meek?  Perfect opportunity to take people by surprise by scaring them out of her apartment, even out of costume, and fully turn the tables on them as Batgirl, the fierce bruiser who loves nothing more than a sharp verbal takedown followed by a good scrap!  Punching isn’t a ladylike thing to do?  No rule saying you can’t ballet-kick their noses up into their brains and grab the nearest blunt object to use as an improvised weapon!

Woman crimefighters aren’t expected to be as clever as the Dynamic Duo?  Time to surprise everyone by using common sense and book smarts to solve cases instead of Bat-Deduction and breaking out of deathtraps by being genuinely resourceful rather than relying on deus ex machina (she does get the occasional assist, but this girl freed herself from self-tightening garotte wire.  That counts for something.)! 

Every time someone on the show tries to sell her short, she gets around to proving them wrong within seconds, and it’s the most satisfying thing to see.  Her biggest flaws as Batgirl were that she could be a little too rough and sometimes unintentionally cruel (such as the time she sprayed Louie the Lilac with sentient rot because she thought he was just bluffing).  But with time and experience she learned better and continued to improve as Gotham’s newest protector—a job she took very seriously, but still had a sense of humor about.

Interestingly, in her first couple of appearances, Babs seemed to be very aware of the fact that people were going to end up comparing her to Batman and Robin, and it manifested in a rather competitive spirit.  She constantly kept secrets from them, even ones that pertained to the case they were working on, and she would even hide evidence from them so she could have the satisfaction of busting the bad guy first.  They didn’t seem to trust her on principle at first, especially Batman, who believed that it was in women’s nature to try to outdo men in everything (holy sexism, ya douchecanoe); and she apparently decided that it wasn’t worth the effort to change their minds.  When they asked her about where she got her information, she would be deliberately vague and mention things like tarot cards and tea leaves—“all part of a woman crimefighter’s arsenal”—as a sort of Take That against them.  And at the end of almost every episode, she would disappear without a trace while their backs were turned, making them wonder where the hell she could have gone.  Eventually the three came to trust each other much more and fall into an easier and more cheerful rapport, but she would still disappear on them when the job was done.

One of the biggest shakeups on the show was that the member of the original “Batfamily” she was closest to was none other than Alfred!  He was the first to stumble upon her secret identity, and she made him swear to secrecy “as a gentleman’s gentleman.”  And he kept his word and continued to serve as her confidante, meeting with her in secret when she didn’t know if she could trust Batman. Every opportunity there was to help Babs, Alfred took it, no matter what, whether it was freeing her from a particularly tricky trap or helping her track a criminal across Gotham.  The two of them quickly developed a really adorable familial relationship based on mutual trust and affection, and you could tell how fond of each other Yvonne Craig and Alan Napier must have been.

The one vastly different addition you could possibly quibble with about this Babs is that there’s this rather aggressive effort to try to pair her up with Bruce.  Her father is very in favor of the idea of the two settling down together (even though Babs is fresh out of college and Bruce is at least in his late thirties).  And while Babs thinks Bruce is a nice enough guy, all of their “dates” end up being rather awkward since Bruce is a colossal dork out of costume, and she honestly just finds him a bit boring.  Besides, “he’s no Batman.”  She has a rather thinly disguised hero-crush on Batman and often wonders who he is under the mask—one can only imagine her reaction to finding out it’s the same guy who would rather watch the news in the back of his limo than talk to her. The attempt at shipping is there, but it never really goes anywhere, so… dodged a bullet there.

And in case anyone is wondering about her and Dick, while they aren’t romantically interested in each other at all, they do make a fantastic team and seem to view each other as brother and sister or at least good friends.  There are entire subplots of episodes where the two team up to save Batman’s bacon, and it’s glorious.

All in all, Yvonne Craig—once a dancer for the Ballet Russe and then a character actress who’d performed opposite Perry Mason and Elvis Presley—gave the world one of the defining heroines of the 1960s.  One who never stayed a damsel in distress for long and was spunky, witty, rebellious, kindhearted, determined, free-spirited, and more than capable of holding her own with the boys.  If anyone remembers anything about the third season of Batman, it’s Batgirl in all her purple glory, and her legacy has endured for so long that even Gail Simone has gone on record saying that when she writes Barbara Gordon, it’s Craig’s voice she imagines.

Unfortunately, Batman’s third season would be its last; even with hopes for a fourth season on the horizon, the destruction of the sets meant that the Terrific Trio would never set forth again on the small screen.  Fortunately, though, this wouldn’t be the end of this Batgirl—she was given another chance in cartoon and comic book form!

In The New Adventures of Batman, she takes on Catwoman to clear her own name from the taint of crime, singlehandedly rescues Robin from both the Joker’s and the Riddler’s henchmen with nothing but brute force, and adds a whole new passel of gadgets to her utility belt, including her own grappling hook gun and a makeup compact that conceals pocket sand she can use to blind her assailants.

In the recent Batman ’66 standalone comics, she gets to help Batman face off against Lord Death Man in Japan, takes on the Joker and Catwoman multiple times, helps free her father from Bane’s clutches, outwits all of the Big Four through simple office politics out of costume, and singlehandedly fends off the Bookworm and Queen Cleopatra with ingenuity and a good pimp slap respectively.

In Batman ’66 Meets the Man From U.N.C.L.E., she battles Poison Ivy’s plant goons (accidentally decapitating one of them with a single kick) travels with the Dynamic Duo, Napolean, and Illya to Monte Carlo to face off against Hugo Strange and his new international crime syndicate, and almost throws hands with Strange all by herself.

In Batman ’66 Meets Wonder Woman ’77, she graduates from Batgirl to Batwoman (Kate Kane’s initial appearance never caught on, it would seem) and takes her place as the new police commissioner of Gotham City after her father retires.

And most recently, in Archie Meets Batman ’66, she and Dick Grayson go undercover as transfer students to help flush out the new supervillain threat plaguing Riverdale and its students, facing off against the Joker and Catwoman in particular so far while dealing with the rabid crushes Archie and Betty have on them.

And as long as people still show an interest in this iteration of Babs, there will probably be more content still to come.  Not gonna lie, this is my favorite version of Barbara Gordon in any medium—I love her personality, her approach to challenges, her fighting style, her relationships with the rest of the cast, and even her costume.  Maybe one day, in a new Batman ’66 comic, we’ll get to see more of a supporting cast for her—bring in Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Frankie Charles, Jason Bard, and all of the characters we’ve come to know and love from the greater DC canon!  Hell, even better, give her a chance to become Oracle and pave the way for new Batgirls inspired by the good she’s done for Gotham!  But for now, we should all take the opportunity to appreciate the most iconic Barbara Gordon and the legacy she left behind.

Before I go, I thought I’d leave you guys with a snippet from the Man From U.N.C.L.E. crossover comic that I think best encapsulates this Batgirl and why she does what she does.  If ever Barbara Gordon had a mission statement, this is it, and I can never commend the comics enough for recognizing what makes her so special.

[welcometoteamz]

Since there’s a new influx of iZombie roleplayers I figured I’d make a little PSA post to cover my bases; in case you can’t help but be a bit judgemental as you skim my blog in spite of yourself.

Relationship discussions/thoughts and such below~

I’m Tim. As far as I know, this was the first iZombie roleplay blog on tumblr. I created it March 25, 2015. The show premiered March 17th.

I don’t say this to humblebrag, bc honestly, who tf cares?

I just say this to provide some context. I’ve been here since day one, writing Blaine.

I was here during the literal year long hiatus between the end of S2 and the start of S3.

During that time I wrote Blaine’s amnesia as being a legitimate and lasting affliction. In many ways, he became almost a divergent character who was Blaine in face and name only.

He developed relationships with some characters (whose writers may or may not still be around) such as Peyton and Liv that don’t exactly reflect that in canon. So if you see something you kinda sideye, that’s probably why. Context matters. There’s backstory to certain verses that explain how and why.

THAT SAID! Though I have no problem writing canon divergent Blaine (or verses that skew off from points in canon I don’t care for) I’m also cool with/enjoy writing Blaine at any point in the timeline. S1 Zombie Blaine at his most despicable. S2 human Blaine. Amnesiac Blaine. Blaine faking his amnesia. Blaine with aforementioned permanent amnesia. Mid S3-S4 Blaine. A Blaine who is working with Major and Fillmore-Graves.

ALL THE BLAINES~ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

At the end of the day, I ship Blaine and chemistry. And just because he’s attracted to your character doesn’t mean he’ll actually catch feelings for them. In regards to canon Blaine, I refer to David’s comments and Rob Thomas’. His feelings for Peyton were real, and made him wish he had not done such despicable things in life.

Which is to say, yes, he had/may have regrets, but due to selfish reasons and not so much remorse.

Keep in mind, I’ll try to be respectful off all ships, and will refrain from publicly turning up my nose at any of yours. All I ask is that you do the same. I won’t force any ships on anyone, and I’m totally down for platonic and antagonistic relationships.

Here’s a guide tho, if it helps, to my thoughts on Blaine’s relationships as it would stand with a canon Blaine.

Thoughts on Blaine’s relationships:

-Peyton, while certainly recognizing the problematic elements. I was on board and then they pulled the rug out from under me. I have an explanation, from Blaine’s POV for why he lied, but in no way do I excuse it nor is it a justification. I won’t force this ship on anyone, I’m fine with it being platonic or antagonistic. If you want to write it, but only at certain points in time or canon divergent ones where he didn’t lie or whatever... that’s cool. Just let me know, because while I enjoy it, I know some people may be squicked out by it.

-Rita. No, they never met. No, she shouldn’t have died. Yes, I’m bitter. They didn’t meet in canon, but I can see canon Blaine being with her. As an annoyance/partner/eventual friend and possibly more. So I’m mentioning her. Mainly to promote @fairisfair, who writes her and is pretty much my exclusive Rita not that I really expect any others to pop up.

-Liv. Look. I know. In canon this is a special hell ship that would probably never ever ever happen.... but..... he enjoys her. As meddlesome as she’s been, I don’t think Blaine hates her. I think during his amnesia stint, he enjoyed and appreciated her friendship. In another world where he never killed anyone, and she didn’t see him with Boss’ goons? Who knows? Or again, developed after the amnesia and carefully done. IDK. That said I’m totally down for petty and antagonistic frienemy bickering.

-Ravi. Ravi irritates Blaine mainly due to the whole Peyton thing, but Blaine does respect and understand Peyton’s choice even if it bums him out. Ravi can be a bit nerdy and annoy Blaine, but I think Blaine has a tiiiny bit of respect for him whether or not he’d admit it. Ravi’s a good person and loyal to his friends and he respects that. Plus, his big brain. It’s also fun to rile him up.

-Major: Blaine and Major’s dynamic is so...??? Unusual? To go from trying to kill each other to unwilling alliance to Blaine being the reason Major found Natalie and Major understanding and not resenting Blaine for not wanting to remember and then now their partnership... like...we never got Major getting in Blaine’s face after it came out Blaine lied. Blaine was willing to let Major die, after Major basically was willing to be bygones and tease him about being a lounge singer. I like Maine. Not romantic Maine, but I find their relationship fascinating.

-Don E. Look, I can’t help but think maybe Don E. felt a little spurned by Blaine in addition to taken for granted... and that one sided feelings may have played a part in that. I mean he stood in the rain watching Blaine and noting Peyton, while Blaine sang about loving someone even though it hurts because they don’t love you back. But look. Blaine doesn’t treat Don E. like a lackey anymore. When those two goons in 1x04 tried to make their own brain business? Blaine killed them. When Don E. did it? ...not only do I think Blaine was impressed, but Don E. was all he had left. He was willing to forgive him stealing his clients and unfreezing Angus, and made him a partner, and appreciates him. Don E. is his only real and best friend. For all the wronging each other that went on towards the end of S2 and beginning of S3, when Angus died and Don E was there and comforting him yet saying what needed to be said? Feelings. Kissing him on the head, calling him dweeb, taking his face in his hands.

Risking his own life to save his, which had only been done before in the case of Peyton...

Blaine cares about Don E., and you can fight me on that.

Chase: Ok, this is where the bitterness starts. I would have loved a S4 of Blaine and Chase antagonistic over the fact that Blaine killed his brother but Chase can’t kill him because of the brain shortage. We saw Chase blackmail Blaine, but we never got to see Blaine call his bluff and remind him that he had him by the short n curlies as well. Be smug and lord the fact that Chase needs him now after turning down his earlier proposal, saying he had enough brains. I wanted to see them actually working well together, and coming to respect each other somehow despite hating what each stands for... culminating in a showdown.

We didn’t get that. Chase was just fine to let Blaine be after he found Mama Leone, and Harrison Graves is never mentioned, and they never have a scene again.

Angus: Ok Fuck Angus. Before we knew what a garbage human being the actor who played him is, I was mildly excited but the choice to make him a religious cult leader and the execution coupled with the fact he didn’t end up the big bad and it was just all a bunch of filler that made me have to look at that fuckface’s face?? ... not worth it imo. He should have been left to rot in the well, and in a world where he was played by someone else it would have been nice to see him take control by using Enzo to reach out to those in Fillmore Graves who were loyal to Carey Gold’s cause and staging a SHIELD/HYDRA esque coup. But that is another thread that they didn’t continue.

So alas.but in verses/threads that have to acknowledge him, the alternate faceclaim will be Robert Carlyle.

I’d include Blaine’s relationship with Clive but they’ve only had like four scenes together which go from Clive questioning Blaine/wanting to put Blaine away/questioning Blaine again/willing to let Blaine and Don E help on an investigation/questioning Blaine again....

[fallout-fallen-knight]

#1-#10 and #12-20 for your courier 😺✨

Oh my gosh this is so many! I’ll try to do the best I can.

1. Faction: Technically she’s aligned with Yes-Man, but she’s Followers all the way. She’s too optimistic and idealistic to be anything else.

2. Preferred Armor: she can use power armor after getting training from Judah Kreger, but after it broke down in the Big MT, she chooses not to. Right now, her “uniform” is Mobius’s Labcoat and the Gannon Power Helmet. I really like how they look together, it gives off a “Rocketeer” vibe. (Sorry for no pictures, I’ll try to get some as soon as she’s out of the Sierra Madre)

3. Weapon type: she’s a pacifist except when absolutely necessary, at which point she uses Energy Weapons.

4. Highest Skills: she’s a talented doctor and scientist, meaning that Medicine and Science are her highest skills. She also has a high speech skill (it was the only way to recruit Arcade), although this often translates to “says endearing things that make people like her” rather than the typical smooth talker. During OWB, she upped her stealth skill in order to better avoid robodogs, nightstalkers, and lobotomites, at least until she got the Stealth Suit. She’s working on Survival and Repair in the Sierra Madre right now. Her lowest are Barter and Guns.

5. SPECIAL: S 6 P 9 E 7 C 6 I 10 A 4 L 6

6. (Important) Perks: Cherchez la Femme, Big Brained, Comprehension, Computer Whiz, Educated, Four Eyes, Good Natured, Swift Learner, Lessons Learned. Obviously that’s not all of them but it’s the ones that matter most to her character.

7. Companions: She’s very close with Arcade, Veronica, and Christine, and loves her pets/robot friends Rex and Ed-E. God gets on her nerves, but she pities him more than anything else. Dean’s a bastard, but he’s a useful bastard, and so she deals with him and tries to stay in his good graces.

8. Relationships: No romantic partners, no. Most women aren’t interested in a gal covered in someone else’s blood, and the ones who would be are usually disinterested when they learn that the other person is still alive. She did harbor a mini-crush on Veronica when they first met, but that stopped cold when they first talked about Christine.

9. Demographics: white lesbian.

10. She was born and raised in Freeside, helping her mother in and around the Old Mormon Fort. They had a small apartment near Mick and Ralph’s.

12. I’m going to modify this question, and answer “How did the courier affect her?”. To that end, I don’t think she ever wanted a bigger life than a Wasteland medic, because a) it suited her and b) she knew she was doing real good in the Mojave. But when she was mistaken for the courier and saw what House was planning, she realized she had to step up and do what had to be done, for the good of the Mojave.

13. How did she deal with Benny: regrettably, she had to abandon him in the Fort, as there was no way for her and Arcade to fight their way out. It’s entirely possible that decision will come back to bite her eventually.

14. NCR/Legion rep: I think by this point she’s certainly a blip on their radars, especially the Legion, considering she visited their leader’s camp. She was stationed at Camp Golf briefly as a medic, but they haven’t connected the dots of her former life to her current. Besides that, her only direct interaction with the NCR thus far has been fixing the solar panels at Helios One and creating a redundancy in case the dam fell. Once she returns from the Sierra Madre, though, she’s going to start forging alliance across the Mojave, and that’s going to get their attention.

15. Freeside Rep: to them, Sophia is a shining example of what a kid from Freeside can grow up to become. The Kings all love her, especially after stopping a war between the gang and the NCR and fixing the King’s robo-dog. Mick and Ralph watched her grow up and always give her discounts on whatever she needs. Even the Garetts and the Van Graffs admire her from afar, and she often buys ammo for her weapons from the Silver Rush. And obviously, she’s in very good graces with the Followers of the Apocalypse.

16. Goodsprings/Novac/Primm Rep: not a lot, honestly. She stopped in and fixed Johnson Nash’s broken down eyebot for him, but other than, she doesn’t visit them very often.

17. Minor faction Rep: she actually hasn’t met any of the factions besides the Khans yet. While recovering at the Old Mormon Fort from her adventures in the Big MT, she discovered that the Followers had helped the Khans in the past, which encouraged her to reforge the alliance. She’s never interacted with the Brotherhood directly, only with its agents: Veronica, Christine, and Father Elijah, which has given her a … mixed reaction. I think she’ll like the Boomers once she gets to know them; they’re good people if a little weaponry-obsessed. The Gangers can rot.

18. NV Strip Rep: House isn’t fond of Sophia, but his opinion doesn’t matter much anymore. After installing Cachino in charge of the Omertas, she’s made sure that they won’t make any trouble with her. The Chairmen vaguely recognize her as “that doll that made Benny wig out and disappear” but don’t really know much beyond that. She knows something is up with the White Gloves, but she can’t figure it out. And the NCR Military Police are a little uneasy about the new faces on all the Securitrons, but they haven’t let it bother them yet.

19. Motives: originally, she just wanted to stop House out of fear that he would use the newly-upgraded Securitrons to take over Freeside. But she quickly realized that a power vacuum on that scale would only lead to the collapse of New Vegas and the surrounding area, allowing either Caesar or the NCR to move in and take over. Her ideal government is a loose syndicate of mutually-cooperating communities, with a newly-assertive Yes Man to defuse situations, using Securitrons if necessary. The NCR is welcome to remain in the Mojave, but they have to leave the greater New Vegas area alone and stop conquering absorbing communities - if they want to make a nation, they have to do it themselves. The Legion can, again, rot.

20. Theme song: I think there’d be a different one for each period of her story. (Note: not all of these are period correct, but I tried to fit the Old West vibe). When she’s just a wasteland medic, I think Ain’t That A Kick In the Head by Dean Martin fits her outlook on life and optimistic personality. From her trip to the Fort to just after assembling the Enclave Remnants, Short Change Hero by the Heavy fits how she’s panicky and suddenly realizes the enormity of her place in the Wasteland, even though she doesn’t want it. Throughout the Big MT, Devil at the Door by the Highlonesome encapsulates how she feels: scared, alone, surrounded by enemies and an expendable pawn for greater beings. But once she gets her brain back from Mobius and realizes the truth of why she was brought to the Big MT, her theme song changes to The World Ender by Lord Huron as she comes back from the brink of death and despair to become an unstoppable juggernaut of revenge, tearing down first the Think Tank, then tracking Elijah and Christine to the Sierra Madre to find out who Elijah is and then kick his ass for putting a bomb collar on her and Christine. If there’s another theme song for post-Dead Money, I haven’t found it yet.

Thanks for all the questions OP! It was really fun to think of answers to all of these.

[pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace]

Frozen the Musical - My Act One Thoughts

Hi friends! So... here we go! I saw Frozen twice while I was in Denver - once on August 18th and once on August 19th. A few things you should probably know before we delve into all my thoughts: 1. I’ve been a musical theatre nerd for most of my life. I went to a performing arts high school for musical theatre, and majored in theatre arts administration in college. 2. I am also a Disney nerd - always have been and always will be. I did the DCP in Walt Disney World and absolutely adored it. 3. Frozen has been my absolute favorite movie in the entire world since I first saw it back in 2013. I’ve made very good friends with Anna at all kinds of local parties and gatherings, run Frozen camps, and more. So... we can imagine how COMPLETELY ELATED I was when they announced they were creating Frozen on Broadway. Which leads me to point 4... Caissie Levy. I saw Caissie in Ghost back in 2012 and was ASTOUNDED by the sheer talent I was witnessing. Caissie has without a doubt become my absolute favorite performer, but more than that, she’s become an incredible mentor. So when I found out she was going to be LEADING this show, I MIGHT have lost my shit just a little bit (read: a lot).

With all that said... I hope that makes it clear that I know my way around good theatre, but I also have some implicit bias. I will try my best to stay as objective as I possibly can (which will probably be not at all tbh) while also fangirling my heart out.

Now. Let’s talk Frozen the Musical! Prepare for a novel.

- Preshow. They have some really cool sound effects and a projection of the Northern Lights that move around. It’s really pretty, and helps to put you in that mystical setting.

- The show opens with the newly introduced Hidden Folk. Let’s talk about them for a hot second. I get why they moved away from the trolls - having seen the stage show at the Hyperion out in Disneyland, the trolls would have been too campy and weird for what they’re trying to do with this show. I love the concept - the traditional Norwegian Huldufolk are the perfect fill in. The execution, IMO, needs some work. Crystal necklaces that light up just like in the movie? Super cool. Glowing eyes in the pitch black? REALLY cool. Long, swingy tails that make them look like non-blue Na’vi from Avatar? Not so much.

- Hearing Vuelie in person with that incredible ensemble was enough on its own to basically send me into a coma.

- THE YOUNGINS. Oh my LORD. They are so ridiculously good - especially the Young Annas, Audrey and Mattea. Their comedic timing is so good... you really can’t help but laugh every time they speak (”like run naked in the breeze!” I died).

- “Anna and Elsa” is adorable and just introduces us to the sisters. They also worked in a chunk of the cut song from the movie “We Know Better”, which was perfect and made me extraordinarily happy.

- “A Little Bit of You” is so stinking cute. And then Elsa hits Anna and your heart hurts. So thanks for that, Lopez crew (I’ll be saying that a lot tbh).

- The scene where the Queen summons the hidden folk is one that I would not be surprised to be tweaked. She started chanting and people started giggling (because tbh it is a little strange - it sounds incredibly dramatic), which is definitely not what you want happening there.

- Elsa asks Pabbie to remove her magic altogether because she’s afraid of what she’ll do, which just hurts my heart. He asks her to close her eyes and tell him what she sees, and it’s basically a premonition of the coronation - she sees a monster. Tears.

- Elsa is also the one who basically says “keep Anna away from me while I figure this magic thing out,” which is also devastating because that adds another layer of her guilt to what we knew from the movie.

- Another change from the movie - the girls are still their young selves when their parents die at sea. OUCH. I think it’s more effective, honestly.

- Caissie got entrance applause and that was the first time I cried. #proudmama

- Let’s take a moment to talk about PATTI FREAKING MURIN. I’m not going to lie to you - I was really worried about what they were doing with her in all the promotional stuff we saw, but I had no reason to be. Patti is the perfect Anna. She is adorkable, silly, fun loving, and tender and vulnerable when she needs to be. Anna is undoubtedly my favorite princess... Patti lives up to it.

- There are a few lyric tweaks in “For The First Time In Forever” to go with the action on stage - i.e. there are not 8,000 salad plates, so it wouldn’t make sense to sing about them.

- The scepter and orb glow at Elsa’s touch and it’s REALLY cool.

- The moment when they opened the gates and the whole ensemble spilled in... the second time I cried. It was so epic and just a beautiful, beautiful moment. All those voices harmonizing... it was overwhelming.

- Sven got entrance applause. I’m still trying to figure out how he’s maneuvered?! Literally the most lifelike reindeer puppet you could imagine.

- Obviously we have no horses on stage, so Anna and Hans bump into each other and fall into Kristoff’s ice cart, which is a nice touch.

- Anna makes an heir and spare joke - another reference to a cut song from the movie (my favorite one, so I was thrilled).

- John Riddle as Hans... he’s SPECTACULAR. He’s not a ginger, but I guess I’ll forgive him because he is incredibly good looking and SO charming. And that voice! He makes you fall in love with him. Which makes you hate him even more later on.

- Queen Anointed is GORGEOUS in every sense. There’s a little section of choreography as the church bells ring that was very, very cool - the ensemble moves in and out of line with each chime. Hard to explain, but visually gorgeous.

- As the ensemble is singing, Elsa is basically silhouetted upstage while the priest puts on her cape and they walk the orb and scepter in. The lighting here just made me melt.

- Dangerous to Dream. There’s already been some pretty good discussion about this (see @frozenartscapes and @not-rotting for that fun), but oh MAN. After the first verse, Anna runs in and kneels downstage with her hands over her heart and Elsa sings directly at her. UGH. After she’s crowned, she observes the festivities and sings the rest of the song as Anna is shown enjoying it - dancing, being lifted up on a chair, etc. All while Elsa just looks on longingly. My heart.

- Robert Creighton as the Duke is the wonderful blend of funny, creepy (”Let me tame you with my tango” and “you’ll be looking for a king, no doubt” ugh), and dastardly that the role demands.

- The camaraderie between the sisters as Anna disses the Duke is perfection.

- Love is an Open Door. WHERE DO I START. Take the movie and ramp it up by about 800%. Sexual tension is not off limits here. Anna runs her hands over Hans’s chest, Hans grabs Anna’s butt, there’s some panting, there’s a very cute dance break where he has her leg up by her face in a split and she’s like “ow ow ow ow ow” and then she somehow ends up on the ground beneath him... and then as the song ends, he buries his face in her chest and then they proceed to make out for at LEAST 30 seconds as all the coronation-goers filter in. It is hilarious, and on the second night recording, you can literally hear me go “I thought this was a family show!” lmao.

- Elsa freezing the ballroom - the spikes shoot out of the wall and I was legitimately concerned someone was going to be impaled on stage. It’s so organic and realistic!

- After Elsa runs out of the ballroom, you see the various townspeople as they run to safety... then Elsa stumbles forward, catches herself on the proscenium of the stage, and then the proscenium freezes in what was my first “WTF IS HAPPENING” moment of the show. The projections there... omg. Otherworldly.

- Ah, and now I get to talk about Jelani as Kristoff. GUYS. He’s SO GOOD. His voice is divine. He is SO PERFECTLY SASSY, but like Patti, when he’s a softie, he just melts your heart. He and Patti play so well off of each other - their witty banter is everything you’d hope and more. Kristanna shippers, rest assured, your hearts will flutter.

- I mentioned in a previous post that right before “What Do You Know About Love”, Kristoff literally rips off Anna’s dress before she changes into Kristoff’s clothes and that was the moment I died. My shipper heart.

- Speaking of... “What Do You Know About Love”. WE FINALLY HAVE A KRISTANNA DUET, Y’ALL. And it was worth the wait. It’s 5 minutes of stellar witty banter. God bless. The music is also CATCHY AF.

- The bridge! It’s very, very cool. One of my favorite scenic elements in the show.

- “You’ve got some guts.” “You’ve got some... brains.” I’ll leave it at that.

- When Olaf makes his grand entrance, you hear his voice all around the theater. Which caused absolutely everyone to collectively lose their shit while turning around in their seats. Hilarity.

- The Olaf puppet, for anyone who hasn’t seen yet, is done very similarly to Timon from The Lion King. Anytime Greg moves his feet, Olaf moves. Same with the hands.

- Greg as Olaf. There were moments I had to remind myself that Greg did NOT, in fact, voice Olaf in the movie. He’s that spot-on, but of course with his own flair. 12/10 casting.

- “In Summer”. It’s just as ridiculous as you might imagine, though not as campy as it is in DCA with the random backup dancers in flippers and scuba gear. There’s just random birds flying in on a stick instead.

- “If there’s one thing Arendelle can handle, it’s snow.” - Anna, cut immediately to “I CAN’T HANDLE ALL OF THIS SNOW!” - The Duke.

- “Hans of the Southern Isles (Reprise)” - aka the “I’m Hans and I’m gonna manipulate the entire town into believing I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread but HEY I’m humble no big deal” song.

- The moment you’ve all been waiting for (along with literally everyone in the theatre who audibly squealed at the first notes)... “Let It Go”. Aka the moment I officially LOST. MY. SHIT. I waited to talk about Caissie until this moment because this is the first time we get to see her in all her belty, sparkly glory. She. Is. Perfection. She looks the part, she acts the part, she sings the SHIT out of it.

- I will say - the song is back in its intended key, which means it’s a half step lower than we hear in the movie (cut to a clip of Idina being like “but what if I sing it a half step up just this once?” and then hating her life as every child on the planet began to sing the song). But that makes it no less belty and beautiful. Rather than just letting that last note kind of fade like you hear on the soundtrack, Caissie takes it up to the high heavens and the sky opens up and you melt into a puddle on the floor. Wait... that was me. Definitely me.

- Scenically, I wanted a little bit more. The projections are cool, and the massive wall of Swarovski crystals that dropped from the ceiling was sparkly enough to blind me. But other than that, the stage felt a bit empty. The rumor is that they have another plan for Broadway - which makes sense since they’re in a temporary home and it wouldn’t make sense to build any really massive set pieces until they’re in a place where they can do that. They know they could pretty much put Caissie in a trash bag, throw her on stage to sing this song, and the crowd would still lose their minds. Save the magic for the big guns. At least, I hope that’s what’s going to happen!

- The dress change. There was a clip floating around from the show Friday night, and the timing of the flash was off, so it’s unfortunate that’s the one that got passed around (even though it’s still freaking incredible!) because you can kind of see the magic. Saturday night, you couldn’t see a thing and LORDY BE. It is truly magical. And the dress! It’s STUNNING. I sobbed both nights. Like... ugly crying, heavy sobbing.

And with that... I went into the lobby going “I’M GONNA PASS OUT MOM, I SWEAR. I’M GONNA PASS OUT MY FACE IS TINGLY I’M GONNA PASS OUT” because I was so overwhelmed and it was intermission.

Thanks for tuning in for Act 1... Act 2 to come later!

[mustinvestigate]

stream of consciousness headcanon…ish…thing…

...which owes entire countries’ national debts to @niceteeth-nastysmile‘s health & food canon post and @adistraughtthought‘s on MacCready’s teeth and why Lucy was just beyond brilliant.

And this is all fic-related ponderings of general standards of personal upkeep in post-apocalyptia and their divergence from vault or pre-war sensibilities and how exactly romance could surmount this, which doesn’t really earn “above the fold” status, so…

So it’s generally held in fandom lore that folk are too busy surviving to truck much with hygiene, a thought which derails the sexiness of many T+ fics before they start. Like, “We’ve been trekking across the desert nurturing a deadly two-person epidemic of UST and, oops, convenient cave-in, we’re trapped together…carrying several days’ worth of sweat and battle muck in non-breathable armor we seemingly never change, without water to drink or freshen up with, and, y’know, let’s just sit in opposite cave chambers and breathe through our mouths until rescue comes, ok?”

And a vault dweller or pre-war person would live in suspended state of horror at the miasma of human funk and yellowed snaggleteeth when they have any at all, unable to hold a civil conversation no matter how high their charisma stat. As for romancing, well…nope. Nope nope nope.

Except, in settlements at least, with more pooled resources and storage space and security to allow people to spend time on less essential tasks like making tallow soap and extra under-clothing to change regularly and water to wash clothing and bodies, they’d totally raise standards to at least those of a modern week-long camping trip, right? Being clean and in fresh clothing is one of those small achievable luxuries, on the level of toys and games or cards for communal entertainment, that makes a huuuuge difference in feeling like you’re living, not just surviving. And with teeth, well, humans have been cleaning their teeth (albeit sometimes in ways that could not have been kind to gums or enamel) since we’ve been human. Morning breath and stuck-in food bits have apparently always been pretty high on the short list of activities worth spending limited energy on fixing.

Also often found in human settlements? Doctors, or at least some form of medical-type professionals to push for improved sanitation and enough cleanliness to minimise the spread of disease, not to mention heal injuries or perform simple dentistry or help prevent/treat substance abuse and all sorts of other ailments that lead to one being unable to maintain a comfortable-ish body.

(Aside for ghouls: although they’re described in-game as smelling like rotting flesh, I call bullshit. The smell of rot comes from decay, and by definition, things which are decaying are in the process of existing increasingly…uh…less so. [I don’t know, I can’t word good today, ok? Ahem.] And since ghouls are canonically unplagued by senescence [see? Fancy words!], there’s no decay beyond a certain level of damage that would produce that particular offensive smell. And further still since the skin damage would probably render most of their sweat glands gone or non-functional anyway, they’d possibly even lack the traditional human eau du ew at the end of a hard day’s farming. Y’all just decided they smell bad because you don’t like how they look – real nice, post-apocalyptic humans. Real. Nice.)

People living outside of settlements, though…they might be a different story. Like, raiders? Forget it. You’d smell ‘em coming a mile away, where they may be gasping their last due to catastrophic bacterial infection from what started as a wee molar cavity. They’re not expending energy on small personal-upkeep luxuries, or value stealing them from those who do.

Non-sociopathic nomadic types, like traders or mercenaries or people who don’t have useful skills or can’t afford to buy into a settlement (however it works when there’s no pre-war savior throwing away land for free), where carrying space is very limited and they likely don’t have much time or energy for non-essential luxuries…yeah, they might be closer to what we picture as a standard post-apocalyptic citizen. Like…in today’s terms…your stereotypical European gap-year backpacker. You’d certainly bathe and wash clothes when the opportunity and supplies came to hand, but wouldn’t go out of your way unless your red and orange Maslows were all in the black, and if your yellow, green, and blue were already in the pink, why bother?

(Is that a coherent joke? Probably not. Requires googling. But we strike on!)

Hence, in a slightly roundabout way, we come to MacCready’s teeth, and, further, the impact therein on writing a romance with a pre-war character. Or, really, any of the romanceable companion options, but fanon, and Bethesda going out of their way to make him the only one with bad teeth, seem to hold that MacCready’s a special case. He grew up LARPing Lord of The Flies, defiantly proud that there were no adults to make them clean anything they didn’t want to, and he married a girl (brilliant doctor or not) who was part of the same culture and tolerant of near-toxic personal hygiene or at the very least, since they seemed to be on the road when she tragically died, was biding her time until they settled down to enforce better standards.

(And, seriously, Bethesda, just admit it’s the same character as the Lucy he was best buddies with instead of someone who just happened to have the same name…except that does mean that sweet girl died terribly…and now I no longer know what I want to believe. Huh.)

And a pre-war professional lady, one who’d’ve had to maintain a polished image as a non-negotiable element of her career, she’d get past this…how?

Actually…even writing this out, it still doesn’t seem insurmountable. For years, I shared a very small office with a large, manly fellow who didn’t wear deodorant, worked out before work, and ate a lot of fish-heavy lunches. It’s amazing how quickly the human nose shrugs and moves the goal-posts, particularly for lovely people you get on with, or when everyone around you’s more or less at the same level of smell, or when you’re also working out and coming in kinda sweaty and, you know, we’re all human here, right, why are we so dang picky?

And my version of Nora, for all she prefers pretty dresses and parties, isn’t averse to dirty fingernails. She was in the military, had all her hair shaved off and slogged through muddy obstacle courses and dug latrines and everything; she went hunting with her father and helped out in his plumbing shop, getting elbow-deep in animal viscera and worse. A filthy soldier-type would definitely be on her experience spectrum with probably no more judgement than welp, try to stay upwind when possible, even that forgotten after she’s been in the same outfit herself for a couple of weeks.

But the teeth, man, there’s something moreish about bad teeth, right? There’s not just the aesthetics of non-white, non-straight teeth (trust me…having moved to a country [unfairly] famous for poor-quality dentistry, I can report that uniformly white, straight chompers quickly become the weird-looking alternative) but the visceral reaction to class comma lack of, to an indicator not just of “poor” but “poor and not trying to do better.”

Like, I grew up what’s politely called white working class (in a family that mostly passes leisure time with drinking, Fox News, and stockpiling weapons of dubious origins, so, y’know, shruggy-emoticon), and you bet all of us cousins had braces. We were going to get good grades and have office jobs. Our parents were real touchy about terms like “redneck” or “okie” and wouldn’t admit to liking country music. There was something different about the kids who lived in the same area but didn’t get braces. We weren’t encouraged to make friends of them, and as for dating…well…the bad teeth on a significant other brought home would carefully, one could say pointedly, not be mentioned, but every other possible flaw would be.

In college, I dated a mysterious guy I met on Match.com, who wasn’t white and who had the worst teeth I’d ever seen in real life. They were somewhere between ferengi and pirate and I’m sad to say they were the first thing anyone would notice about him. We ended up dating for two bloody years, even talked about marriage, and the funny thing? I never found out what the deal was with those awful, awful teeth.

At first, I didn’t bring it up because, well…how bad did his childhood have to be, that no one made him brush, no one took out a loan to get him in braces? Like, bad teeth were so intrinsically linked with lower-class deprivation in my mind that I just could not even broach the topic with someone of a different ethnic background. And, anyway, he turned out to be solidly middle-class from birth, held two degrees and a software engineering cubicle job that required a tie, even on Fridays. And by that point, well…if the teeth were the first thing you noticed, the second was that he was bubbly and goofy and sweet, and when months later someone looked at a photo of us and asked, “Oh dear, what happened to that poor boy’s teeth?”, it genuinely took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about.

So, my conclusion: even when one’s brought up to see poor hygiene and bad teeth as viscerally, mockably horrifying…as romantic obstacles, they’re quite surmountable. Like, there’d be some half-hearted stocking up of new brushes and mouthwash, nagging to go see the dentist no I don’t care that your childhood dentist looked like Ted Bundy, and probably a collateral raising of their bathing frequency through shared living routines, and it’d be fine, you guys. Totally fine.

Anyway.

This is what happens after a few months without drinking, y’all. These are the brain cells that’d usually get culled off by the friendly gin hammer.

[bad-draft-stuff]

det. AU 17

Sheepy: *the next week!* Arsé-kun: *Arséne is trying to sort out a lot of various papers. He's been getting info all week on what's been going on, because he did not have firsthand experience with most of it and had to ask several others, several times. He did not have as much fun as he was hoping. Anyway, he's so done with this. It's time speak out loud for an extended period.*

Arsé-kun: Arséne: I'm gonna try and keep this short, since this is a hell paper stack and I'm absolutely done with it. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *ahem* Let's start with the bat swarm that everybody most definitely saw (except me). It was not subtle, and there is a small danger of what it actually was being discovered. Fran's grandfather and... Uncle? I guess? Should hopefully have left port by then. Moving on. Arsé-kun: Arséne: While investigating a crime scene, I got attacked with the goal of getting to Harley. I, of course, survived, but the criminal did not. Upon doing research, I learned his name was Aleister Moriarty, a brother to the older James, and apparently very much tied into Harley's personal business. I stopped digging there in case the still-living Moriarty found out. Retired crime lord, but still a crime lord. There may be other criminals involved in this situation, but I will not suggest names yet. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Harley had gone out for the week and should be returning later today. His business. Sheepy: Sherlock: I hope he’s feeling better! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Yes, so do I. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Something about the criminal's personal property has set off several people, all of which were affected by the apparently named "Hidden Potential" or simply had a deep history with the man. It has been placed in a secure place to prevent a repeat event. By "secure" I mean "Hopefully in a hole Nyar hasn't discovered yet". Arsé-kun: Arséne: Now then. The only event I've failed to gain information on is what I'm calling the "Corn on fire" situation, named after the nearly first thing said by the previous Twilight head upon showing up and asking for a fire extinguisher. It was... something, but there seems to be no information anywhere about a farm fire, unless I am looking in the wrong place. Either way, the extinguisher was returned in roughly the same condition. Arsé-kun: Arséne: And final notes- Several people other than the Saint have survived from their time period to ours. More are implied. I am not exactly enjoying the idea of this many immortals, but it could absolutely be worse. Also, I need to look into employment laws for someone to possibly assist Von Zieks with something. That should be it. Sheepy: Sherlock: Employment laws?... Good luck. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Thank you. I will need it. Sheepy: Sherlock: When do you think he'll be back? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I don't know, but hopefully today if he keeps his word. Sheepy: *The door slowly creaks open. Harley trudges inside, his head hanging down. His skin's pale, his hair's a mess, and any energy he used to have is just gone. That motel visit did wonders for him!* Arsé-kun: Arséne: Je-sus christ in hell! *he jumps up to pull Harley in with extremely visible concern* Sheepy: Sherlock: Maybe a motel visit wasn't such a good idea...! Sheepy: Harley: ...I'm back... Arsé-kun: Arséne: You're back. Uh, here, sit down..! I'll get Wilson for you. *he offers Harley his chair. an honor.* Sheepy: Harley:...If I sit down, I'll... Sheepy: Harley: ...I can't. I'm sorry... Arsé-kun: Arséne: You break your ass? Sheepy: Sherlock: *he quietly leaves to get Watson* Sheepy: Harley: No...No. ...Haven't slept. Sheepy: Harley: I can't sit, or I'll fall asleep... I'm sorry... Arsé-kun: Arséne: .... Do, uh. Do you want to talk about it..? Sheepy: Harley: If I sleep, he'll come for me... He's coming for me, Lupin... If he catches me, you...everyone... You'll end up like her...! Sheepy: Harley: Y-you are...You are Lupin, aren't you...?! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Y-yes? Quite so? Would you like me to spout some French? Sheepy: Harley:..... It hurts, doesn't it...? I'm sorry I did this to you. ...B-but if I don't sleep, you won't suffer anymore. So I can't sit. I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *ahem, Phantom accent On* Quelle est donc cette nouvelle folie? ♫ Arsé-kun: Arséne: C’est quoi~~♪ Arsé-kun: Arséne: ce bordel~~~♪♫ Sheepy: Harley:......I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to...! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Harley. *he grabs Harley's arms* I've got no idea what you're talking about. Sheepy: Harley: Wh-what? Arsé-kun: Arséne: You haven't been here all week. You haven't done anything. Sheepy: Harley:....Then who killed you? Arsé-kun: Arséne: If I was dead, I don't think I'd be speaking with you without a medium or Tom. Sheepy: Harley: ...No...No...I keep seeing them...they keep talking to me...They want me to suffer with them...! It's all my fault! Arsé-kun: Arséne: ....... Do you need water? Sheepy: Harley: No...No...I haven't needed it...I haven't had it... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Are you sick..? Sheepy: Harley: *blank tired unsteady stare* ...? Arsé-kun: Arséne: .... I'm taking that as a yes. Sheepy: Harley:....I'm sorry....! Sheepy: Harley: If you aren't dead, then why...? Why do you look like that? I did that to you...I must've... I must've...! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Like what...? *brief pause to check himself over* Do I need to shower..? Sheepy: Harley:............Y...You can't... see it? You care so much about your appearance and you don't even notice you're rotting...?! H...Hahahah! I knew you weren't Lupin... I knew it... I'm dreaming again, aren't I...?! No...Lupin wouldn't be so comforting towards someone like me... I just wanna wake up... Arsé-kun: Arséne: According to my absolutely gigantic brain, *He is forcing the snobbiest voice he can manage* You're hallucinating. Feed my ego, dammit. Sheepy: Harley:........ Arsé-kun: Arséne: And then I'll make out with your brother. Is that bastard enough? Sheepy: Harley:...'m not...You're lying...You're lying... You're just him again...Trying to make me lower my guard...Stop lying...You can't have me... You can't! Arsé-kun: Watson: ... *he makes sure to enter where Harley can see him with his cup of ice. Visible Concern Intensifies* May I, then, if he cannot? Sheepy: Harley: Watson... Watson... Arsé-kun: Watson: Welcome back. You look like trash. Sheepy: Harley: I... Sheepy: Harley:.... Arsé-kun: Watson: Here. Take this. *he hands Harley an ice cube. it is very cold. it is wet. it is an ice cube.* Sheepy: Harley: ...Are you trying to poison me? Arsé-kun: Watson: It's an ice cube. You don't need to put it in your mouth. Just hold it. Sheepy: Harley:...It's cold... It's so cold... Arsé-kun: Watson: I sure hope so. It's ice. I just took it from the freezer. Sheepy: Harley: ........ Sheepy: Harley:....... Arsé-kun: *arsene steals an ice cube in the bg* Sheepy: Harley: Watson.... I failed. I'm sorry. I tried... Arsé-kun: Watson: What matters is you did your best. (has no idea what's going on) Sheepy: Harley:....No, I didn't. Sheepy: Harley: I haven't slept for four days. Arsé-kun: Watson: ... As a doctor, that hurts me greatly. Sheepy: Harley: I can't sleep. I can't. Arsé-kun: Watson: Would you like to explain? Sheepy: Harley: When I sleep, he comes for me. That man... Arsé-kun: Watson: And how would you explain that experience..? From "unpleasant" to "let me leave this planet" Sheepy: Harley: Uh...Uh... Sheepy: Harley:....10. Arsé-kun: Watson: .... I see. Arsé-kun: Watson: This leads to a problem. You badly need rest, but we don't want to risk anything. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Watson: Apology accepted. Sheepy: Harley:...I don't know what to do. Arsé-kun: Watson: I'm not sure either... ..... *after a few moments of thought, he turns to Sherlock* Where's the squid? I have several questions for him. Sheepy: Sherlock: In the fridge? Sheepy: Sherlock:.Hey, wait. We don't have any squid, do we? Sheepy: Sherlock: It looks like it'd be nasty... Arsé-kun: Watson: The one that lives with Saint. Sheepy: Sherlock: Oh. Arsé-kun: Watson: The one most definitely capable of this. Sheepy: Nyar: Yes, yes, what's up? Arsé-kun: Watson: Good afternoon, dearie, *threatening tone* do you have anything to do with my charge's situation? Sheepy: Nyar: Perhaps indirectly, but not directly. Arsé-kun: Watson: "Had a hand in it previously" indirectly, or "Related to me but I didn't do anything" indirectly? This affects what I do next. Sheepy: Nyar: Technically, in the end, this is totally 100% caused by my actions. If I hadn't temporarily traded away most of my power, nobody could steal it. Sheepy: Nyar: However! I didn't do anything. Sheepy: Nyar: In actuality, I'm the victim here so you should feel bad for me. Arsé-kun: Watson:... More useful than usual. Thank you. Do you have any advice to deal with this, or are you only good at the "cause" side? Sheepy: Nyar: I don't create messes just to clean them. Arsé-kun: Watson: Right, you make a mess to clean a different mess, and then leave others to deal with the end result. Sheepy: Nyar: Duh. Arsé-kun: Watson: Either way, thank you. You've been a help. Sheepy: Nyar: Gosh, someome finally thanks me on this house! Sheepy: Harley:.......So those images I've been seeing... Arsé-kun: Watson: Unless you've very suddenly become a medium for a sadistic clairvoyant ghost, they're most likely false. Sheepy: Harley: That might not necessarily be intentional, but rather... Maybe it's an aspect of Nyarlathotep that can't be detached from his abilities. ...Ah, I can't believe I'm thinking about this horrible sci-fi nonsense... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Tell me about it. *he steals another ice cube* I hate this, but here we are. Sheepy: Harley: So maybe he isn't fully capable of using it to his own personalized use because it's not his to begin with. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Are we going off the "stolen powers" presumption? heepy: Harley: Nyar, what were you capable of before you lost your power? Sheepy: Nyar: You might be wondering how capable someone as cool and handsome as me...No, I'm not really in the mood for this. Sheepy: Nyar: Listen, there's so much on that list that I can't give you a good answer. What I can say is that I was great at driving people mad through both their dreams and hallucinations, just like you're dealing with. Sheepy: Nyar: I don't necessarily know who stole it but I know Aleister. Arsé-kun: Watson: Go on. Sheepy: Nyar: His research was a great interest of mine, I guess. My dad thought if was useful, obviously, for making the perfect soldier. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Hold on. Is he where the hidden potential actually came from? Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah. Sheepy: Nyar: That's not my work. It's too messy. I can do that myself without the use of such things. Arsé-kun: Watson: No wonder Helsing had such an adverse reaction, then.. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, I'm guessing the intended target is Harley. Arsé-kun: Arséne: So who do we recruit to deal with this better than we can? Sheepy is not an option unless absolutely necessary. Sheepy: Nyar: It's strange... Generally, the hidden potential gives the one afflicted incredible strength and speed, but...Oh, lemme think. Sheepy: Nyar: Randy. Dad, I guess. Arsé-kun: Arséne: The Saint deals with you constantly, he might know something.. Sheepy: Nyar: Oh yeah, him too Arsé-kun: *Saint-G, missing the door and going straight through the wall because he wasn't paying attention in the background,* Sheepy: Nyar: Saint, do you havd any ideas? Arsé-kun: Germain: Only bad ones. Sheepy: Nyar: Great, that doesn't help. Arsé-kun: Germain: It's your dreams, stab them until they leave. I don't know. This isn't something we're usually able to combat. Sheepy: Harley:...Eventually I need to sleep. Arsé-kun: Germain: Sic Randolph on it. If he can't do it, good luck. Sheepy: Harley: He can help...? Arsé-kun: Germain: He's escaped Nyar before, in his own territory, so perhaps? But given the situation, maybe not.. Sheepy: Harley: I see. Arsé-kun: Germain: Were this a physical thing, it would be much more doable. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Germain: Don't apologize. You did not cause this. Sheepy: Harley:.......No, I did. Arsé-kun: Germain: .... Okay, you didn't personally invite someone with eldritch powers into your skull. Sheepy: Harley: But I made it worse...I've barely eaten and I've had little water these past few days because I...Everything's awful. Sheepy: Nyar: Man...I wanna do this to someone again. Sheepy: Harley: I just don't understand how he survived a fatal shot like that. Sheepy: Nyar:...? ....He's a vampire. Arsé-kun: Arséne: You've got to be kidding. Brain splatters on the street don't kill them? Sheepy: Nyar: No, of course not. Eh, at least, I guess it'd depend on how much of a vampire they are. I don't know much about such things. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Eugh. *dislike* Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, you really are squeamish. Arsé-kun: Arséne: How does that even work...? Do they have a second brain we don't know about? Sheepy: Nyar: ........ Sheepy: Nyar: I dunno. Sheepy: Nyar: Does that matter? Arsé-kun: Arséne: A little bit! How are you supposed to take such an obvious threat down when you don't know what does and doesn't work?? Sheepy: Nyar: Ask Delly. Arsé-kun: *Arséne looks miffed, but accepts this* Sheepy: Nyar: He should know! Sheepy: Nyar: Or, like, I could sic Nodens on him. Sheepy: Nyar: Or- ...Yeugh, I can't even say that name! Man, I hate him! Sheepy: Nyar: Fine, I'll go call Nodens. Arsé-kun: Watson: That would be appreciated. Sheepy: Nyar: *he calls up Phil* Hey, can you hunt someone down for me? ...Eh? What's that noise- why are you preparing your spear before finding out who it is...? ...Nonono, not me!!! Uh, so basically - *he explains the situation* -and so you seem like the best choice for fixing this. Arsé-kun: Germain: Prepare your ass, Nyar, it's going to be shot at you regardless. Sheepy: Nyar:...He agreed to it if he can hunt me down once the issue is solved... Arsé-kun: Germain: He can certainly try. Sheepy: Nyar: Right...something to look forward to...! Arsé-kun: Germain: Ten spears straight in your chest. How exciting. Sheepy: Nyar: Haha... Arsé-kun: Randy: It's Nyar season? Already? Shall I get my infantry rifle?? Sheepy: Nyar: No! Arsé-kun: Randy: No? You don't want to speak academic essays about philosophy at me? Sheepy: Nyar: I will when I'm feeling better! Sheesh, you humans really are picky. Arsé-kun: Germain: You love it, though. Sheepy: Nyar:....Maybe I do. Sheepy: Nyar: Get prepared for one after this mess is cleaned up! Arsé-kun: Randy: Well... Now I'm afraid to ask. Wh.. What mess now? Sheepy: Nyar: My power got stolen so that some wrinkly old man could harass Harley in his dreams. Arsé-kun: Randy: Oooh.. Should I try to interrupt it? I feel like I can. Sheepy: Nyar: You could try. Sheepy: Harley: If you can do anything...I just really want to sleep... Arsé-kun: Randy: I'll give it a shot. I know how that feels- It's awful. Sheepy: Nyar: Aww. Sheepy: Harley: Thank you... Sheepy: Harley: I think I'm going to sleep soon. Arsé-kun: Randy: *uwu)b* Sheepy: *Harley goes to lie down and sleep on the sofa* Arsé-kun: *Randy gets himself a few books and settles himself on the floor. guard engaged* Arsé-kun: *Harley finally gets some goddamn sleep! Good for him! Everyone else is questionable, we didn't check, don't ask me questions. Good morning, sluts* Sheepy: Sherlock: Good morning! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Bonjour! Sheepy: Sherlock: I watched a documentary on birds last night. Sheepy: Sherlock: Did you know that woodpeckers have tongues in their brain sockets? Or something. Sheepy: Sherlock: Would they be capable of discovering how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop if they wrapped their tongue around it? Is it still considered a lick? Arsé-kun: Arséne: By definition, I don't think so. Sheepy: Sherlock: What are the plans today? Arsé-kun: Arséne: See if there are any jobs that are at least slightly normal. Sheepy: Sherlock: Good idea. Sheepy: Sherlock: I'll keep an eye out! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Please do. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I think I'm going to go systematically insane if I don't do something soon. Sheepy: Sherlock: Hmm.. Sheepy: Sherlock: What about the case Harley was investigating? Arsé-kun: Arséne: That's his case. He needs something to focus on, I guess. Sheepy: Sherlock: Well, alright. Sheepy: Sherlock: I'll keep thinking! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Please do. It'd be terrible if you stopped. Sheepy: Sherlock: Why? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Why...? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Because you wouldn't be thinking, and that leads to something woefully unthought out? Sheepy: Sherlock: Makes sense. Sheepy: Harley:...You two are so loud. Arsé-kun: Arséne: My apologies. Did you sleep well? Sheepy: Harley: Yes. Thank you. Sheepy: Harley: But.... Sheepy: Harley: There's something wrong. ...I think. I'm not sure. Sheepy: Harley: With Randolph. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry. Sheepy: Harley: If I give him what he wants, he'll go away. But so will I. ...I'm selfish - I don't want this. .My selfishness is getting people hurt. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he sighs, and gives himself a moment to prepare himself* What is it. Sheepy: Harley: I just said that I didn't know...! Sheepy: Harley: Just go look at him. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Fine. Fiiine. *he gets up, takes one of the big fancy knives Impey uses often, and exits scene. He's not taking risks today* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 3 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 9 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19 Arsé-kun: *A crash and a scream from the other room. There are absolutely zero doubts that it's Arséne, who hastily reappears in the kitchen without the knife and with blood on his shirt. He is not happy in any way, shape, or form.* Arsé-kun: Arséne: i AM NOT TOUCHING THAT Sheepy: Sherlock: What is it? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Think of an octopus crossbred with a starfish. Make it transparent. Except where it isn't because I am half sure it was filling with blood like a tick. I hate this. Sheepy: Sherlock: What do we do? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I stabbed it if that helps. Sheepy: Sherlock: Hmmm. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... Harley, be a dear and cover your ears for a moment. *he exits scene again, jamming a hand into his pocket. That pocket can store the titanic and it's whole crew. guy pants pockets are amazing* Sheepy: *Harley covers his ears* Arsé-kun: *Several gunshots later, Arséne proudly returns with Harley's gun, still smoking, and Randy in his arms. Randy is not happy. How is Arséne carrying both? Easy. He's holding the handle of the gun with his mouth. next question.* Sheepy: Harley: ...You're getting spit on it...Okay, you can keep it. My gift to you. Arsé-kun: Arséne: 'rry. Sheepy: Harley: Should I get Watson? Arsé-kun: Arséne: uh-huuurh. Sheepy: *Harley goes and gets Watson* Arsé-kun: *Watson enters scene looking about as alert as you'd expect. help him. he sees Arséne. he sees Randy. he sees the gun in arsenes mouth. he no longer wants to know.* Sheepy: Harley: Uh, I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Watson: Unless you caused that wound, do not apologize to me. Sheepy: Harley: No, I didn't. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he puts Randy down in a chair and takes the gun out of his mouth* I shot an eldritch thing. No doing whatever that was in! My! House! Sheepy: Harley: It was a leech... Right? Arsé-kun: *Randy bitterly laughs. That's your answer* Sheepy: Harley:...No, too simple. I'm sorry, Randolph. Arsé-kun: Randy: It's fine. I accepted taking the damages last night. At least it didn't lead to arson this time. Sheepy: Harley: Arson? Sheepy: Sherlock: Arsene wasn't affected! Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he feels powerful. fuck that thing. fuck it! get shot bitch* Arsé-kun: Randy: No, no. *deep breath* Arson. Fires. Sheepy: Harley: Right. Arsé-kun: Randy: And that-- ow.. *he flinches from alcohol swab on wound. ouchie.* --Was probably not supposed to happen, but because I was there... Arsé-kun: Randy: ... But it also drove off someone who absolutely did not know what they were doing. Amateur... Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. Sheepy: Harley: It's the first restful sleep I've had in a while. Sheepy: Harley: But...I can't let you get involved again if you'll get hurt from it. Arsé-kun: Randy: damn this mortal coil for being so fragile. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry... Arsé-kun: Randy: You're not in charge of the mortal coil..! Sheepy: Harley:...? Arsé-kun: Arséne: You didn't cause this. Shush. Sheepy: Harley:...Right. Arsé-kun: *Someone has taken it upon themselves to dispose of the ... thing. Door opening, dragging, door opening again? Did they open it first for disposal? Why would you put that thing outside?? what* Sheepy: Harley: What was that? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Disposal? Sheepy: Harley: Saint-Germain is quick... Arsé-kun: Germain: *on the other side of the room* what Sheepy: Harley:...Not you? Arsé-kun: Germain: Certainly not. At least I'd drain the Shambler before dragging it. That's going to leave a permanent stain on the carpets. Arsé-kun: *arsene looks salty* Sheepy: Harley:....I wonder who it was... Sheepy: Sheepy: Do garbagemen usually wear full armor and carry a sword? Arsé-kun: Randy: Only if his name is Nodens. Sheepy: Sheepy: No, I've never seen this guy before...He took the ugly thing and left. Arsé-kun: Randy: Maybe hired by Nodens..? Sheepy: Sheepy: Eh, maybe... Sheepy: Sheepy: Who knows. Arsé-kun: Arséne: We'll have to look into it. Later. Sheepy: Sheepy: There's your "totally normal case". Arsé-kun: Arséne: Absolutely not. Sheepy: Sheepy: You're so picky... Arsé-kun: *They're not following it (yet), but will We?* Sheepy: *? is carrying ?? under his arm while dragging the squid. There's a trail of blood behind him...* Sheepy: ?: Hungry... ... ... They probably had food... Maybe I should go back and eat it... Arsé-kun: ??: *thick accent of some kind, muffled complaint, cough, insult, cough. save them* Sheepy: ?: I'll get food for you too.... Hungry... ... Sheepy: ?: *he sniffs at the air* ...Found food. It's close...Over here. Sheepy: ?: *he pats a nearby wall before...Kicking open the bar door!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *JHABFAJFAHNNGN* *he dropped what he was holding, rip* Someone here this early in the morning..?? Sheepy: ?: Food....... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *proceeds to drop his jaw also* S.. Sir Griflet?!???? Sheepy: Grif: What? What is it? ...Oh, you're here. Sheepy: Grif: ...Hungry... Arsé-kun: Merlin: right, hhhhhold on just a moment..!! *he rushes out of the room* Arsé-kun: *Merlin returns with edibles Very Quickly. Edibles as in food. Not drugs. You don't eat drugs in most cases and that would not help here* Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:......*headtilt*............. Sheepy: Grif: *he dumps ?? in a nearby seat, tosses the squid aside, and starts eating the food with his hands. Grif you just touched a bloodied up squid monster. Nasty* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... And Sir Kay, too... Where have you been..? Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: On the brink of death. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's how, not where. Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Kay. You tell him. Arsé-kun: *Kay's response is incomprehensible Old English, several insults, coughing, and generally having no idea how to answer* Sheepy: Grif: Eh. Fine. Time traveling here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Time travel..! How?? None of us three can do that, nor can we together! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... And you're speaking perfect modern english, too! Sheepy: Grif: Would you let that stop you if your client needed you over a thousand years in the future? Hah! Don't give up so easily. Arsé-kun: *Merlin just stares* Sheepy: Grif: Never give up. If you put your mind to something, you can accomplish it. Sheepy: Grif: For example: Sir Lancelot puts me on the brink of death. However, I decide that I would not die there. So of course I lived! Simple. Arsé-kun: *Implied Kay insult* Sheepy: Grif: Hah. Arsé-kun: *fou is eating cereal off the floor. thank you fou* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can somebody please come downstairs and prove I'm not going bonkers finally?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: What's up-- What!? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, great, you see them too, right?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: How are they here- how are they still alive?! Sheepy: Grif: I smelled food. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's what I wanted to know!! We can't even achieve time travel but here they are!! Sheepy: Grif: This isn not the first time for me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Travelling one second per second isn't time travel! Sheepy: Grif:? No... Sheepy: Grif: If your client needs you in the future, you time travel. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's what I said! Sheepy: Grif: ...!! So you just let them suffer?! Hah! Try harder to help innocents or I'll tear you to shreds! Sheepy: Grif: You can have the gift. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...G...Gift? I don't want it. Sheepy: Grif: It's wrong to say no to gifts. Arsé-kun: *More Kay insults amid coughing. something along the lines of "are you a pussy bitch, dumbass?" but like. middle english.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: You sound like you're sick. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. He got infected wifh the time travel disease. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...How do you know what diseases are? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He just said he's done this before. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, but he's like he's living under a rock for almost everything in my experience...Ask him to get one herb for you, and you know what you get? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Cattails and a shark. Sheepy: Myrrdin: A basil-isk. Arsé-kun: *Merlin snorts* Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. Sheepy: Grif: As I do more quests I evolve my senses to excel for the purpose of questing. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Somehow? He's almost harder to understand now. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, if I put on my Quest Vision buff, I can see your intentions. Arsé-kun: Merlin: he speaks in video game.... Sheepy: Myrrdin: H-how do you know what a video game is? Sheepy: Grif: What is a video game? Arsé-kun: Merlin: the thing the word "buff" comes from in this context! Sheepy: Grif:....I see. My dad taught me it... Sheepy: Grif:...Yes, he said he had important information in the future, and in the future he gave me an explanation for some things. However, he left soon afterwards. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, yes, he gave me a quest. Sheepy: Grif: "Play a real Shin Megoomi Tensay Game". Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's.... Unlikely to actually be a quest.... I guess it's the title? Sheepy: Grif: I could ask him for more details but I am sure he is busy. Sheepy: *In the background, a white peacock eats cereal off the floor.* Arsé-kun: *Fou shares* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, there's a huge conundrum here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is it that we're dealing with this? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sir Lancelot killed Sir Griflet, so...If they meet up again, Sir Lancelot will probably panic... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, obviously not since Grif's here! Sheepy: Grif: I simply decided that I would not die. Sheepy: Grif: Many types of lizards drop their tail when threatened. Sheepy: Grif: Dragons do not. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou fou! Fooou! Sheepy: Grif: Instead, we just...Ah... Sheepy: Grif:......They haven't grown in yet. So I just imitated a snake and played dead. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, can you teach Kay modern English? Sheepy: Grif: We have difficulty speaking now. Sad. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe if we cheat..? But if I bite my tongue it might end badly.. Sheepy: Grif: I can ask Dad instead but I try not to rely on him. Sheepy: Grif: So you should do it. Sheepy: Grif: You can have the gift in exchange. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks at Myrrdin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I don't really want to. What if I get whatever he's got? Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: Grif: Learn it yourself, Kay. Arsé-kun: *Kay complains* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... *lightbulb emoji, flower petals erupt, Kay sneezes* I got it, hold on, I need an oven mitt and a mighty need to slap someone. Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets the mitt after going behind the bar and stepping over Meril, leaving him alone for once. Shockingly. Merlin proceeds to do magic. This is risky, as he tends to mess up long spells. In the end, he succeeded in enchanting this oven mitt, but also blew something up in his face.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Good enough! Arsé-kun: *he returns to the group after cleaning himself off, equipped with the oven mitt and a big "I'm up to no good" grin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I dub thee the mitten of language, and *approaching Kay* thou as the first hit! *and proceeds to smack Kay with the magical oven mitt!* Arsé-kun: *Kay is too stunned to do anything for a moment..* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... wHat the FUCK is wrong with you, you old tasteless coot--- ?!??? Arsé-kun: *Merlin does a perfect idol-like victory pose, before the mitt blows up on him again. Cartoony ash-face fx here.* Sheepy: Grif: There. Now you can speak modern English. Good. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't even know half the words coming out of my mouth, and why do I sound so different?! Old coot, what did you fuck u-*cough, cough* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: You'll get better. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not that! Arsé-kun: Kay: And f-- *spots fou* Y O U Sheepy: Grif: It's fluffy and soft looking. Sheepy: Grif: ......... Arsé-kun: Fou: *looks up at Grif* Fou! Fou fou fou!! Arsé-kun: *Fou trots up to Grif and rubs against him. Fou is calling dibs on this man* Sheepy: Grif: Can I pet you? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! :3 Sheepy: *Grif pets Fou!* Arsé-kun: *Fou ignores the Murderous Glare he's getting from Kay in favor of AW YEA PETS* Sheepy: Bedi: There's customers so early.....Meril's not even up yet....--!? Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, sard me with gadzook's and hang me up to dry! Look who we got here! Sheepy: Grif: Sword? Hmmm, but......No, the weather isn't right. Wait for a hotter day. Okay? Sheepy: Bedi: Kay...!? Arsé-kun: Kay: I expect this from the shite wizards, but you?? How are you here? Sheepy: Bedi: Until I have become the perfect knight for my King, I cannot allow even death to stop me. Sheepy: Grif: An impossible quest with a dead client... Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh... Sheepy: Bedi: In my King's final moments, I committed the gravest sin any knight could. I cannot say I even deserve such a title... To risk my King's eternal rest for my own selfish desires... To lie to him in his dying moments... Such cruelty can never be forgiven. Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Bedivere, who gives a shit? I lied to his face all the time. Dumb farter. Sheepy: Bedi: But those lies... They don't compare... Arsé-kun: Kay: Stop being such a stick up the ass. Have a drink, sit back, shut the absolute fuck of your mouth. Arsé-kun: Kay: And booze me. Sheepy: Bedi: ...I'm sorry, I was answering your question to my greatest ability, but I suppose it's not an endearing answer... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Our bartender is sleeping on the floor behind the bar. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, tell Antlers to come shine my shoes and get me a drink. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Antlers.....He shedded those and he's moody about it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Dammit! I wanted to hang things on those. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Me too! Arsé-kun: *Merlin cocks the peacock like a shotgun and aims it behind the bar. hehe. cock. 10/10 maturity here* Sheepy: *There's a loud honking noise from the peacock, followed by Meril screaming.* Sheepy: Meril: Why!? Sheepy: Grif: His waking call........... He read somewhere that roosters do that, so he started doing it. Arsé-kun: *Kay busts out laughing. Most of it is spent coughing, but still.* Sheepy: Bedi: He's not a chicken.......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Advanced chicken! Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Does he taste like chicken? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How should I know? Grif would maim me if I tried. Sheepy: Grif: You would certainly die. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And that's the tea. Sheepy: Meril: You're awful! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not new. What, no yells of shock or pointing? Nothing? Sheepy: Meril: What is that thing in my face?! Sheepy: Grif: It's Elyan. He's my friend. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a 'cock. Sheepy: Grif: If you cry, he will absorb your tears and grow stronger from your pain. Arsé-kun: Kay: Where's your antlers, bitch? You naked? Naked like a baby? Sheepy: Meril: Gh...! Sheepy: Meril: I was cursed, okay? Sheepy: Meril: My nubs are finally growing in though. And I'll ram you first...! Arsé-kun: Kay: With what?? Sheepy: Meril: My antlers when they grow back in. Arsé-kun: Kay: What'll that take, another hundred years? Sheepy: Grif: Mine haven't started... Sheepy: Meril: Oh, shut up! Sheepy: Meril:.... Sheepy: Meril: Hey, hey, hey, wait a moment! How did you get here?! Sheepy: Grif: Feet. Sheepy: Grif: One. Two. One. Two. One... Arsé-kun: Kay: Magic bullshittery I don't know the word of. Portal? Is that the word? Sheepy: Meril:...Eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Would you believe Grif accessed time travel before us?? And this isn't his first time??? Sheepy: Meril: What?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's what I  s a i d!! Sheepy: Grif: You shouldn't do it yourself. Sheepy: Grif: They don't like it when you do. Sheepy: Grif: They will find you if you anger them. Perhaps the present is more attractive to you than the future. Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's great, buddy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sick, I don't know what that means. I'm getting new breakfast. Sheepy: Grif: Tindalosi fhtagn l'imas nga l'toklan c-ultoth...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Just like that, I no longer want to hear words. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Th-that made my skin crawl... Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I learned so much from that. I feel informed. Arsé-kun: *Kay finally gets up and beelines to the booze. Raging alcoholic achieves alcohol.* Sheepy: Meril: Hey, hey... My alcohol...No, I understand after hearing that. Arsé-kun: Kay: I've been dealing with that all week. I need this for me. Please understand. Sheepy: Meril: I get it. Sheepy: Grif: You understand. Yes? You understand. You have been warned. Sheepy: Grif: Don't dabble in such forbidden things. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The time traveler is telling us not to dabble in something he did more than once. Aight. Sheepy: Grif: My dad gave me permission. Sheepy: Bedi: ...? Your dad seemed a little strange personality wise but otherwise normal... I can't see him being allowed to make such decisions... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *putting his cereal DOWN first thing time.* ... The dragon?? Sheepy: Grif: No. Sheepy: Grif: That's my other dad. I have two. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Medieval m-preg? Arsé-kun: *merlin is marked for death* Sheepy: Bedi: Wh-what... I don't like the sound of that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, if there's no mom, someone had to do it! Sheepy: Bedi: But I met his mom...She ran away one day according to my parents and never came back, fearfully murmuring about her son being a demon... Sheepy: Grif: Oh. No. She's adoptive, I think. My other dad could reproduce asexually if he pleased like my great grandfather probably. I have never asked. It's not complicated. Sheepy: Grif: She probably isn't a part of the process. Arsé-kun: Kay: Who cares about who shagged who to make Grif?? *he returns. booze was had.* It's Griflet. Sheepy: Bedi: I'm moreso wondering who can decide on time travel rights... Sheepy: Grif: My dad is Yog-Sothoth. Why? Arsé-kun: *Merlin promptly chokes on his Unlucky Charms.* Sheepy: Bedi: I, uh... Don't know who that is. Have I met him before? Sheepy: Grif: He's my dad. Sheepy: Grif: He's nice. Sheepy: Grif: I love him a lot. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Y-you're joking, right? You have to be joking...! Arsé-kun: Kay: You think this bitch can tell a joke? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Let me dream that this one thing is a joke...How did he not end up an awful abomination...?! Arsé-kun: Fou: fou ex Sheepy: Grif: When you make a child sometimes you work hard on every detail and sometimes you click random. Sheepy: Grif: I have many siblings on one side who are just "random". Arsé-kun: Merlin: Most people do not have the ABILITY to not press random, Grif! Sheepy: Grif: I have many siblings on my other side who are just "dragon". Sheepy: Grif: They should work harder at that ability. Sheepy: Grif: Because otherwise you get many legs. Hairy legs. Bald legs. Legs. Legs. Legs legs legs legs Sheepy: Grif: Very important. Sheepy: Grif: I decided the look of my son but never got to see him. How did he look? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Like you, but a twink. Sheepy: Grif: Like me... That brings me joy... Arsé-kun: Kay: the hell is a twink Sheepy: Grif: I know not...But more importantly...Like me, Kay...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, I heard. Great. More dumbasses. Sheepy: Grif: No. No! Arsé-kun: Kay: No? *he finally takes a lone fruit from the selection Grif was given and obliterated.* Sheepy: Grif: He's not stupid, I'm sure. And nor am I. Sheepy: Bedi: No, the word I think works best here is socially oblivious.. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: *momentary pause to see Harley, Sherlock, and Arséne looking for someone's lost pet. Harley is in the lead with Knowing how to do this. it's a good day to be harley. ok anyway* Sheepy: Grif:.....? Sheepy: Grif: Dragons don't follow the same social rules... Sheepy: Grif: They steal princesses away from unhappy situations like my dad. And then knights come and kill them for no reason before bringing the princesses back to their unhappy situations. But books always praise the knights for this. Sheepy: Grif: You see? A very different opinion on justice. Our social rules vary just as much. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's just a miscommunication. Sheepy: Grif: Miscommunication... Ah, I guess humans don't understand dragons telling them that they're actually in the right... Sheepy: Grif: Actually... I watched Sir Lancelot slaughter two of my siblings when he was off doing some quest... I just happened to be in the area, but getting in between him and his sword seemed like a frightening prospect... Arsé-kun: Kay: Getting in his way is a frightening prospect, end of sentence. I had to see how you looked after that. Sheepy: Grif: Hah. ...........It stung, just a bit. Arsé-kun: Kay: Gee, wonder why. It's not like your idol beat your head in or something. Sheepy: Grif: Emotionally......it hurt more than physically. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Too bad you can't let him know that now, huh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: :3c Sheepy: Bedi: ...? But he can... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can, but not NOW. Sheepy: Bedi: Because Sir Lancelot doesn't have a phone number, I'd assume..... Arsé-kun: Merlin: If you think we three legendary magus can't think of a way to do a basic contact to a single person... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You think he has a Twitter or Facebook? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a loser, so probably a Tumblr. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What would his username be..... Sheepy: Bedi: ? Arsé-kun: Merlin: To find a loser, we need to think like a loser. Sheepy: Bedi: He never told you....... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He told you?? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can you... Tell us?? Sheepy: Bedi: ........ Sheepy: Myrrdin: You wrote it down. Didn't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Right? Sheepy: Bedi: Um.... Sheepy: Bedi: *he's fidgeting anxiously...* Sheepy: Myrrdin: If we check his history, it should be there still... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gimme ya phone Sheepy: *Bedi gives Merlin his phone* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is greeted with a billion tabs.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Geez......Do you close your tabs ever? Sheepy: Bedi: ........Close? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good lord. Sheepy: Bedi: I can close them...? I see... I accidentally create them and then I use them because I feel bad for them, not having an identity... Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize... Sheepy: Myrrdin: We could've just shown you how to close them... This is awful. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So if we go all the way to the bottom, it should be there somewhere. Right? Sheepy: Grif: *his pupils have gone big at the sight of the phone...* ...Shiny... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Should be the newest tab.. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Is that it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Let's find out! *he opens the tab. several pictures of swords load. yeeeeeep. has the right aesthetic.* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Sheesh, what a nerd. Sheepy: Bedi: He likes swords. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm...But if he and Queen Guinevere show up...It'll feel closer to a Round Table meeting... Of course, the King will be missing... Sheepy: Grif:...Queen Guinevere... ... I like her... Her dress when I met her was green and shiny. I like green. Very nice... Sheepy: Grif: It's tart... My favorite apple. Arsé-kun: Kay: I haven't known this language long enough to keep track of what you just said. Sheepy: Grif: One time she smiled at me. It made me happy... But it was clear she was unhappy usually even though she smiled often. My wings hadn't grown in yet so I patiently waited until I could follow my Dad's example. But they haven't grown in yet. Too bad. Sir Lancelot would have cut me up like he did to my siblings anyway...Scary... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Have you sent him a message yet? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope, I'm looking at his nerdism. I think he typed an essay about how this dagger is illegal in several countries for fun. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'm glad he's having fun. Sheepy: Grif: Sir Lancelot is like the hero who defeats the dragon...But he too saves the princess from misery...The best of both worlds... He really is the coolest... Arsé-kun: Merlin: lol wot u gay :P Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: *Merlin dabs and then starts closing some fuckin tabs. aka all of them. mass close. the phone's ram is FREE.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Finally! Arsé-kun: *Merlin returns Bedi's phone, takes out his OWN in it's cute bunny phone case and sends Lance a message.* Sheepy: Grif: I want to fight Sir Lancelot again to see just how much stronger he's gotten...Ah, but my wounds from our last fight haven't fully healed, have they... Sheepy: Grif: Bunny... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We'll look at those wounds. We've gotten better at healing, of course, so it shouldn't be a problem! Just don't strip here OR now! Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: Everyone here has seen me without a shirt. Sheepy: Bedi: You can't strip in front of- Sheepy: Grif: *he swaps to his Casual (Modern) outfit from the menu and then begins taking off his shirt* Sheepy: Bedi: Grif, no! Arsé-kun: *Fou turns and stares at Myrrdin* Sheepy: Grif: *he opens his menu once more to check his Status* Arsé-kun: Kay: Stop doing that! That thing you're doing! That gives me a hell of a headache! Sheepy: Grif: I am currently at 1032/10502 HP and my Status is Normal. Sheepy: Bedi: Wh-what is he doing? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You know what? I've got no idea, but it still looks like a game menu. Sheepy: Myrrdin: ...Maybe we've been in a video game all along? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't do that! Sheepy: Myrrdin: ...Haha, I'm kidding! If we were, I'd be one of the ikemen to date... But my type is blondes... Sheepy: Grif: No, we're..... Sheepy: *Grif opens up the relationship tab* ... 0.5 hearts out of ten. Okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Daaaamn, y'all gotta work on that, huh?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Why am I so low...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sheesh, though...I never would've expected that from Kay and you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You gotta problem with it?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, you guys always are fighting.. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Sheepy: Myrrdin: So I assumed you two hated each other? Arsé-kun: Kay: I absolutely want to strangle him. I want to hit him with my sword. I want to throw him into the ocean. But I won't. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Bond Lvl 10 and you still want to kill him... Arsé-kun: Kay: Gonna kick his ass. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah... Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: :) Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: This is the reason why I'm gonna kick you! You never catch onto anything I'm saying! Sheepy: Grif: Ah. I see. What are you saying? Sheepy: Grif: That you want to fight? Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, how am I supposed to keep up with all your nonsense when you don't keep up with mine? Sheepy: Grif: Ah...you're right. Arsé-kun: *Merlin wisely keeps out of this one. Instead, he's scrolling through Lance's weapon blog. what a nerd.* Arsé-kun: *Fou has snagged Bedi's phone and is playing a game on it. He's tapping the screen with his little paws. so cute* Arsé-kun: *... And Kay goes to get more booze after he stops having a coughing fit.* Sheepy: Bedi: Have you contacted him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I send a message. Sheepy: Bedi: So now we wait.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Yep. Perfect grammar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You send the message... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now we waita. I senda the calzone into space. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don'ta paya the taxes. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fooooooooooou! Arsé-kun: *visible kay confusion. memes do not make sense to a medieval man* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Space. Sheepy: Grif: My dad lives somewhere near there. Arsé-kun: Merlin: The final frontier. *whistles the star trek theme* Sheepy: Grif: I did not inherit his looks. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, I noticed.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, good thing you didn't! You'd be all balls and- *i dont have an ending for this joke, so fou slaps him* Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh! *he looks down at his phone, which then beeps. message prediction on point. by one second.* Sheepy: Grif: Soon...He will arrive. Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's the gist of it, yep. And he's bringing his hot wife. Sheepy: Grif: I must bring up my conversation guide for...No... Sheepy: Grif: That is only acceptable sometimes... Sheepy: Grif:....Queen Guinevere is coming? Sheepy: Grif: I just guarded her execution...Hmm, hmmmmm... she won't mind. Arsé-kun: Kay: The queen? Is around? Sheepy: Grif: Who else would Sir Lancelot's wife be? Sheepy: Grif: He likes tall married women and tall single men. Arsé-kun: Kay: How are they here?? They can't time travel like you. Sheepy: Bedi: It's complicated. Sheepy: Grif: It's simple, Kay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Magic Sheepy: Grif: People die when they are killed. Arsé-kun: Kay: How the FUCK does that help me, Griflet?! Sheepy: Grif: You see, if they are not killed... Sheepy: Grif: Obviously, nothing would make them die. Yes? Sheepy: Grif: It's simple. Sheepy: Bedi: People can die of age, too... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I liked the way saying that felt. Fuck you. Humans die of being old, Grif! You're a special fucking case! Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: I am younger than you. Sheepy: Grif: You are the old one... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nobody fuck (without me)! It's a magic older than any of us three that let them survive this long. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. That explains Sir Bedivere as well. Right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, that was us. Sheepy: Grif:....Hm, so he lied, saying it was his determination to fulfill his goal... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, that too, but also us. Sheepy: Grif: I see... He's a liar... Sheepy: Bedi: I didn't lie... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, better. We're the reason he's able to MOVE. He's keeping himself alive otherwise. Sheepy: Grif: I see...Eternal youth... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Is it from me? Is it from handling the excalibur? Is it from something else? We don't know. Sheepy: Bedi: The Excalibur did seem to accept me... But perhaps it just understood that I needed to return it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We just don't know. Sheepy: Bedi: Anyway... Now we wait. Sheepy: Grif: Wait? Hah. Sheepy: Grif: Waiting means nothing to me. I have waited in every dungeon I’ve ever seen. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I have a general list of dungeons rated best to worst in terms of food quality and housing quality respectively. If you ever feel like getting captured in a dungeon, make sure to check it out. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *trying not to laugh* and remember to like and subscribe, and hit the bell for notifications! Sheepy: Grif: I don’t understand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: D-don't worry about it. It's a simple spell to annoy people in this time period. Sheepy: Grif: ...! I see... *he bows to one knee* Thank you, Great Mage Merlin, for bestowing your magic knowledge unto me. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Sheesh, Kay's been dealing with this for who knows how long. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy... I mean, that's so sad. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Sheesh, Kay's been dealing with this for who knows how long. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy... I mean, that's so sad. Arsé-kun: Kay: *behind the bar again and making a drink* Welcome to hell. Sheepy: Grif: Kay gave me strength by arriving in my brink of death because I refused to die in front of a coward. I appreciate this act greatly. Arsé-kun: Kay: :v Sheepy: Grif: It is the nicest thing he has done for me. Arsé-kun: Kay: >:v Sheepy: Grif: We truly have an unbreakable bond. Arsé-kun: *... As he says this, the relationship meter drops to 9.* Sheepy: Grif:....?! Sheepy: Grif:........Hm....Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: What did I say wrong.... Sheepy: Grif: *he switches tabs onthe menu to Help before selecting Relationships* ... ... ... Arsé-kun: Kay: 'Ey, Scalies, maybe stop calling me a coward, you piece of shit. Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif:...But you hid from me after I came to make good on my threat... Arsé-kun: Kay: Murdering fifteen people in a row after telling me you wanted "revenge" and calling it a "basic quest" is fucking terrifying! Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: I like, living? Arsé-kun: Kay: You moron? Sheepy: Grif: But I only permanently mentally scarred the old woman by making her a widow and childless in one day. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's still enough you absolutely dumb and stupid loaf of bread! Sheepy: Grif: Hm... Sheepy: Grif:... Sheepy: Grif: But Kay... Sheepy: Grif: If you taunt strangers and doubt their capabilities this is what can happen. You agree to this response by creating the hostile environment to begin with. Arsé-kun: Kay: Bastard, at no point does "I should commit mass murder!" come from "This mean man insulted me and hurt my feelings"! Unless you're a pussy ass bitch! Are you a pussy ass bitch? Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Well, you didn't think I could finish the quest. So naturally I'd prove you wrong. And along the way I'd get loot for the King as a sidequest. Which requires more slaughter. Arsé-kun: Kay: One of the knight codes was literally about not committing slaughter you fuckwad! Sheepy: Grif:..........? Sheepy: Grif:............ Sheepy: Grif: I recall being shown a list early on... Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif:...But not being able to read it. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Arsé-kun: Kay: ......... Arsé-kun: Kay: You came from a fucking magic orb of time and space, and a fucking dragon, and you're this goddamn stupid? Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: Kay: Good lord and his hooks, take me away like Galahad but maybe the other direction. I don't want to risk meeting Grif mid-questline. Sheepy: Grif: Kay... Arsé-kun: Kay: Because I enjoy LIVING! Sheepy: Grif: I was never taught how to read that language... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then why didn't you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Just. Arsé-kun: Kay: A S K?! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I assumed it wasn't important. Arsé-kun: Kay: *bad grif imitation* "hurr hurr mr kay please teach me to read the funny letters" Well sure mr griflet thank you for asking! *and then glares* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. You will teach me? Sheepy: Grif: *his eyes light up (figuratively)* How lucky am I to have a friend like you, Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not like I have a job now! Sure, I guess, as long as you don't make me want to bash my head on a wall. Sheepy: Grif: Really... The luckiest man there is... Sheepy: Grif: I will bash your head into a wall for you so you don't have to trouble yourself with it. Sheepy: Grif: That is my repayment. Arsé-kun: Kay: If it kills me, I will haunt you for the rest of your shitty life. Sheepy: Grif:.......! Sheepy: Grif: Kay...... Arsé-kun: Kay: In the bad way! Sheepy: Grif: No....! It's not bad! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not the loyal "I'll follow you anywhere!" way! I will literally stab you with a broken plate! Sheepy: Grif: You're the only friend who'd stick together with me even past death... Arsé-kun: Kay: How do you take all my insults as compliments and all my compliments as insults?! Sheepy: Grif: All of my friends avoid me except for you... Sheepy: Grif: Elyan, too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, fine. If this kills me, swear on your dad's favorite rock, I will literally avoid you for the rest of time. Because I'll be dead. Sheepy: Elyan: *he's preening himself in the bg* Sheepy: Grif:....?! Sheepy: Grif: ........... Sheepy: Grif: I see.... Sheepy: Grif: *he looks hurt....* Arsé-kun: Kay: And if you bashing my head in the wall when that's clearly not what I meant is what kills me, so goddamn be it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Now if you excuse me! I'm going to try and kill what's left of my common sense, which isn't all that common anyway! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: So you want a different payment.... Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: Something liquid enough to sell but having inherent worth at the same time... Sheepy: Grif: But money isn't everything... Arsé-kun: Merlin: money is exchanged for goods and services. Sheepy: Grif: You can have one of my most treasured possessions, Kay. Sheepy: Grif: That will be my payment. Sheepy: Grif: One of Elyan's shedded feathers. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Yeah, sure. Sheepy: Grif: I may even give you a shiny rock. Please look forward ti it. Sheepy: Grif: I only give my closest friends shiny rocks. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll look forward to being stoned. Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Really.......I see. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, stand over there. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Is that not it? Does that still mean what it used to? Sheepy: Grif: I will stone you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: 420 blaze it *snnrrrkk* Sheepy: *Grif pulls out a rock* Arsé-kun: Kay: That isn't shiny at all. Sheepy: *Grif throws it at Kay* Arsé-kun: *klank* Sheepy: Grif: .....Hm. Arsé-kun: Kay: Do I get to keep that. Sheepy: Grif: It's not shiny, but you can have it. Arsé-kun: Kay: cool. Sheepy: Grif: Just don't lose it. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose he's nervous and prolonging showing up..... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wonder why. It's not like I told him they were here. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe of us. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's silly. We're just wizards and a good knight. Sheepy: Bedi: But... he has changed a lot. He’s probably worried that we’ll notice. Even worse, comment on it. Or, worst of all, give him a pitiful look and nothing else. After all, many knights viewed him as great, so him changing so much may threaten that image in his mind... the imagine that defined his identity. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well said.... Very well said. I've got no counters to that. Sheepy: Bedi: Like the time Sir Tristan hid from everyone for a week because he bruised his face and thought he was ugly because of it. Sheepy: Bedi: I remember Lucan saying... “Maybe he’s dead. ...Haha, just kidding.” Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lucan was cruel sometimes. That had not changed. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Yes, even to the end. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But no one invited depression, so moving along swiftly! Arsé-kun: *Fou is rudely picked up and plopped into Bedi's arms* Sheepy: Bedi: ? Sheepy: Elyan: *he mourns the loss of his new friend, Fou* Arsé-kun: *elyan he's above you. look up* Sheepy: Elyan: *honks* Arsé-kun: Fou: *fous* Sheepy: Grif: I'll fight him to lift his spirits. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Take the fighting outside. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif:....Hmm, that's right. Sheepy: Grif: I'm too injured to fight right now. Sheepy: Grif:...And anyway, Sir Lancelot is too scary to ever fight again. Sheepy: Grif: It's fairly simple to play dead with someone like him. Sheepy: Grif: But playing dead before you should be dead... Sheepy: Grif: I suppose he wouldn't fall for that. So I fought back but waited for him to beat me within an inch of my life to play dead. Arsé-kun: Merlin: your menu just said you were at full hp... Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: So your bar has natural healing regeneration. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes! Sheepy: Grif: Good, good! I will visit more often. Sheepy: Grif: I may even invite some family one day. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's... A little more scary. We already get your... .... Uncle? And great...? grandpa? I don't study this stuff. Sheepy: Grif:...! heepy: Grif: I love my great Grandpa very much. Sheepy: Grif: I love my family a lot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He just comes in and sleeps. He pays, sure, but... Sheepy: Grif: Yes. He is kind. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... *doubt* Sheepy: Grif: My uncle is not. Sheepy: Grif: One time he offered me a cloud and then told me to put it in water. Sheepy: Grif: My cloud disappeared. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn. Now I want cotton candy. Sheepy: Grif: He laughed at me. Sheepy: Grif: But not for long. Sheepy: Grif: Do you know of this cloud? How does if taste? Sheepy: Grif: I imagine it tastes like... Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Broccoli. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not even close. It's sugar. Sheepy: Grif:?! Sheepy: Grif: So Dad eats too much sugar by flying through clouds... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sky clouds are made of air and water! Sheepy: Grif:...?! Sheepy: Grif: Ah....Ah....I get it...I understand! Arsé-kun: *understanding has risen one point* Sheepy: Grif: Land clouds fade when you put them in water because they become real clouds! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Land clouds are called fog. Cotton candy is sugar that looks like a cloud. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: ....He even lied abour this... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mr. Chaos lies about a lot of things. Arsé-kun: *understanding has actually risen the full one point now. haha had you fooled.* Sheepy: Grif: My uncle is difficult fo love. But I must. Sheepy: Grif: If I don't love him, no one will. That is not a way to live. He will be lonely. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He has a husband. Maybe. Have they actually gotten married..? They never answer that.... Not my problem! Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: When will he get here? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good question. I'm not sure! Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe he's not going to show up... That's too bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shit happens! *he comes back with a jug of questionable alcohol* Sheepy: Grif: Is that water? Arsé-kun: Kay: Look me in the eye and ask me that again. Sheepy: Grif: Only one... Arsé-kun: Kay: Just the good one. Do you think water gets frothy? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why did I ask. Sheepy: Grif: Because you like talking to me. Sheepy: Grif: I like talking to you too. It makes me happy. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shoot. You're right. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Guin arrives!* Arsé-kun: *Kay takes a big fucking swig of what turns out to be mostly beer, looks over, looks awaLOOKS BACK AND NEARLY SPITS* Sheepy: Grif:...! It's the Queen...! ... The Queen is nice... I like her... Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you for coming. Arsé-kun: Kay: And *whistles* Barely look a day older than when we left! Sheepy: Guin: Thank you, Sir Kay. *smile* I could say the same about you. Sheepy: Grif: *he seems flustered....* Queen's here... I have to give a nice gift... but I don't have anything... Sheepy: Grif: What does she like... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe a shiny rock.... Arsé-kun: Kay: You can! We literally left yesterday or something! *he gestures to Grif* Blame this one! This timeless, reasonless hellbitch. Arsé-kun: Kay: This... This fuckin'... *he stops to think of insults.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: today he learned modern english, yesterday he wasn't here. isnt magic incredible. Arsé-kun: *fou kicks him* Sheepy: Guin: ...Time travel... Sheepy: Guin: ....Sir Griflet time travels...? ...So he's the concerning disturbance that was mentioned... Sheepy: Grif: No. I had permission. My dad asked me to for a quest. So I did. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We've been informed this is the second time he has. Poor Sir Kay was still speaking the language of Camelot when they both got here. And I wanna know how it damn works! Sheepy: Guin:...?! Sheepy: Grif: It's simple. Sheepy: Grif: You just don't do it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Thank you, Sir Griflet, for your words of wisdom. Sheepy: Grif: They can smell you. Sheepy: Grif: And they don't like time travelers. Sheepy: Guin: This is useful information. Thank you. Arsé-kun: Kay: So can we, like.... Never do that again? Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I have no need to bring you anywhere in time for now. Sheepy: Grif: However. Sheepy: Grif: You do think this was the best choice. Right? Arsé-kun: Kay: I miss my house. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif:............. Sheepy: Grif: Well, if I sell some of my hoard I could buy a home. We could be roommates. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... Anyway, what we learned today is it's banned for everyone unless Big Ball Daddy Yog Soggy gives you Special Permission. Sheepy: Guin: What a...nice nickname for him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's just a bunch of big orbs! Where's the lie?? Sheepy: Grif: He's very nice and understanding. Sheepy: Grif: But...hmmm. Sheepy: Grif: I smell someone behind Queen Guinevere... Sheepy: Bedi:....Um, smell? Sheepy: Grif: It is a sense related to your nose and mouth. Arsé-kun: Lance: *nervous anime sweatdrops* Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I can smell your nervousness. You can continue to hide. Sheepy: Bedi:....Smell...? Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Gr..... Sir Griflet, that most certainly does not comfort me. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif:...Hmm... Hmm...So he knows me... Who is he... I can't see him and I don't recognize the voice... Arsé-kun: Lance: .... My apologies. Let me make myself clearer. *speaks french at Griflet* Sheepy: Grif: ...? *he stands up before going to see Lance* Sheepy: Grif:.......... *headtilt* .............. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... *he gives Grif the best smug, prideful grin he can muster up. you know it. the "Im the best man alive" look. it doesn't last long, but it happened* Sheepy: Grif: .........! Sheepy: Grif:....Bill... Arsé-kun: Lance: ... You're still going to call me that? Do I still deserve it..? Sheepy: Grif: *his face brightens greatly* I missed you...! Arsé-kun: Lance: ! !!! Sheepy: Grif: How have you been doing? Is everything going well? Arsé-kun: Lance: I've been... Employed, but in an unfavorable way. ... Haven't had a reason to go out and fight at all, so.... *he gestures to himself* .. So I look like walking garbage. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I barely recognized you. Arsé-kun: Kay: How am I supposed to insult you when you do it yourself?! Sheepy: Grif: You can train with me to build back muscle mass. Arsé-kun: Lance: That would.... Be fantastic, admittedly. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, yes, let's do it soon! Sheepy: Grif: Just like old times. Sheepy: Grif: However, I've grown stronger since then. If we spar, I won't give you some weak fight like I did before. I couldn't get into it at all then so I just chose to play dead after a point. Sheepy: Grif: So work hard. Okay? Arsé-kun: Lance: ... *thumbs up* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Man, this is a fascinating concept... "Lovel UP!", a dating sim where you play as a JRPG hero with a weird mascot for a pet. You look for loot and end up finding love... Your snarky tsundere childhood friend who's drifted away from you. Your popular idol friend who you've got a bit of a rivalry with. Your local sexy wizard with a flirty nature. His lonely brother with a dark past... Perhaps even a secret true route with a mysterious handsome knight you've actually known for the longest time without recognizing them...?! Arsé-kun: Kay: What the fuck are you talking about?! Arsé-kun: Kay: What did half those words even mean?!?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You want a summary, huh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: A dating simulator where you play as Griflet and have 5 options... Arsé-kun: Kay: Pass. It's already inaccurate. Arsé-kun: Kay: You imply Griflet can be simulated. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Kay. Lancelot. Me. Meril. And a secret someone... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, he already seems like a protagonist. Arsé-kun: Merlin: A dating sim, though?? He'd ask us why his wife wasn't there and then we'd die. Sheepy: Grif: I must? This is a quest? Can I at least use the carbon method? Or can I just ask their birthdays? Arsé-kun: Kay: what Sheepy: Grif: I will carbon date you. Arsé-kun: Kay: ???? ?? ? Sheepy: Grif: An estimation on when you lived. Arsé-kun: Kay: At least five years. Sheepy: Grif: That is dating. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Anyway, he'd make a better action hero. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Like a hack n slash? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah! Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But sheesh, we're gonna have to explain video games to two medieval knights. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... And television screens. And TVs, and electricity, and even flush toilets. Sheepy: Grif: Dad plays them. I can ask him later. Or you can explain them now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... To one medieval kn--- What? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mr. Yog plays video games...? In the Camelot timezone he played video games? Does he have hands?? Sheepy: Grif: Time is a joke to Dad. Arsé-kun: Merlin: R-right. heepy: Grif: He can shapeshift like my other dad. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Explains a lot. Sheepy: Grif: I haven't developed this trait yet. Arsé-kun: Kay: what is a video Sheepy: Grif: Or horns. Or wings. Or a tail. It makes me sad because I do not fit in well with my family. Sheepy: Bedi: Videos are, ummm... Sheepy: Bedi: So...like, an action from the past, but captured in a way you can see it play out in the present. Sheepy: Bedi: By a camera. Arsé-kun: Kay: So like a painting... But... Moving? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wow. Sheepy: Bedi: It is amazing. It can even have sound. Sheepy: Grif: I fought a vroom vroom Sheepy: Grif: I won. Sheepy: Grif: It never stood a chance. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... A car? Sheepy: Grif: Is that what it's called? Arsé-kun: Lance: People are usually inside of those... Sheepy: Grif: The light for the path was green. Sheepy: Grif: But they disobeyed such rules. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Can't complain. Sheepy: Grif: And I hate cheaters. Sheepy: Grif: So, I fought. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, you were in the right! Their problem! Sheepy: Grif: It was so big. Sheepy: Grif: And it went....Vroom, vroom. Ppfffffft. With smoke. Like some imitation of a dragon. But a bad one. Arsé-kun: Lance: A truck. Sheepy: Grif: I see. That's its name. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: My other dad would have just crushed it with a swipe of his tail. But he's not allowed to do such things because humans fear dragons and would panic if they learned of their existence. Sheepy: Grif: I will grow stronger so I can better protect you from trucks, Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: uh... ok Arsé-kun: *brief cut to the two Holmes and Lupin successfully returning a lost pet. it's nice. they get paid. the end. ok anyway* Sheepy: Grif: Look forward to it. Arsé-kun: Kay: oh... kay.. Sheepy: Bedi: With so many knights here.......I have to wonder how many more are out there. Sheepy: Bedi: ......Unfortunately, I know that the King is not one of them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not a knight. That's the King. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, but...... Sheepy: Bedi: I buried him with my own hands. I know for a fact he's dead. Sheepy: Bedi: I need to visit again... I went to visit on New Years to leave flowers, but... If his ghost is out there, I'm sure he'd like to hear about the knights reuniting. heepy: Grif: Oh. He's dead, hm. Sheepy: Grif: But the Queen's alive so it's only somewhat unfortunate. I've gotten over it. Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Sheepy: Bedi: That was fast... Arsé-kun: *Kay continues heavily drinking in the background. well, foreground, but he isn't doing much otherwise. it's time to have a crisis!* Sheepy: Grif: The King is nice. I like the King. But I like the Queen more. She wears green sometimes. Green is my favorite color. Unlike the King she smiles at me. Very few people smile at me so I like her more. Arsé-kun: Kay: ...... Antlers, I need to be so drunk I'm dead on the floor and this isn't doing it. Sheepy: Meril: Sheesh, the news is hitting you hard, huh? He's never been one to realize the weight of the news he delivers. Sheepy: Bedi: ...My apologies, Kay. I suppose out of all of us this would hit you the hardest, especially since it is freshest for you... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's my brother you're talking about.... Sheepy: Meril: I was talking about Bedi... Arsé-kun: Kay: No shit. Sheepy: Bedi: I should have thought about how you would feel about the subject. Sheepy: Grif: Well, life has its ways. Sheepy: Grif: He'll be back before you know it. Sheepy: Grif: You can cry about it as much as you need to. But make sure to finish it up brfore he sees you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck no. I'll cry when I'm dead and drunk on the floor. Sheepy: Grif: Crying is very healthy. Sheepy: Grif: I have never done it before but I hear it helps. Arsé-kun: Kay: Bullshit. Sheepy: Grif:......*he's thinking* ...You're right. I forgot. I have. Sheepy: Grif: I cried when I married my wife and she smiled at me. It seems that it can be both "sadness" and "joy" to cry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's right. Crying is more versatile than plain old sadness! Arsé-kun: Kay: Y'mean the wife you left for this nonsense?? Sheepy: Grif: I didn't....... Sheepy: Grif: .............. Arsé-kun: Kay: She sure ain't here, chief. Sheepy: Grif: I................ Sheepy: Grif: Shut up, Kay! I already feel guilty enough about it! There weren't any other options. You already see what it's done to you. If I bring her here..... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then maybe ask your big ball dad to magic some not-sick orbs or some crap. I don't know. I just want to drink. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know if he can do that. Sheepy: Grif: And anyway.... Sheepy: Grif: Humans aren't supposed to interact with things beyond their comprehension. Arsé-kun: *Kay vaguely gestures, but it's most likely a complaint* Arsé-kun: Kay: You say that, but here I am! Sheepy: Grif: Well, I needed to bring you. Sheepy: Grif: I still haven't developed my family's affinity for fire. So I needed you in case it was cold, for one. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... why are you this way. Sheepy: Grif: And for companionship. I assumed that if anyone could handle getting sick, it'd be you. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Okay, FINE. Sheepy: Grif: You have done that job well. Arsé-kun: Kay: Uh. Thanks, I guess. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I would have chosen you over anyone else. Our friendship should blossom soon. It says so in my menu. Of course, we did drop points just recently, so I suppose it will take some time to recover the lost ground. Sheepy: Grif: I can't turn up such a situation. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can you please speak like a person and not whatever the hell this is? Sheepy: Grif: ............... Sheepy: Grif: *he opens up a menu on guides to social interaction* Arsé-kun: Kay: oh my god Sheepy: Grif: ..................................... Sheepy: Grif: "We are friends but I want to be better friends. So I brought you with me so we could bond more". Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Maybe you'll learn to speak without those help tablets eventually. Sheepy: Grif: I will try my best. Arsé-kun: Lance: *helpfully?* You can do it. Sheepy: Grif: If Bill thinks I can do something, I must be able to. Sheepy: Grif: Right now, I am just acclimating myself to the environment so I can successfully complete quests with little hassle from outside sources. Sheepy: Grif: So, I have time to better myself in terms of speaking well without the help section. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You have no quests booked, huh...Maybe I should ask you to convince a certain water snake to take these curses off of us... --!! *he clutches his chest* Ghh! Sheepy: Grif: Snakes are simple to deal with and have a decent enough flavor to warrant cooking them after slaying them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: His curse first. I don't even have an emotional reaction to his cardiac arrests anymore. *he just goes and smacks Myrrdin's back* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, hey, I didn't expect it to spread...! Oh, just a cutesy little curse to remember her by! How typical! Then it kept spreading until it covered my whole front of my chest! Sheepy: Meril: I just want to go outside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And I'm hungry again, but that's the least of our concerns. Sheepy: Bedi:...I cannot say I really have a complaint to add... I am curse free... Arsé-kun: Merlin: You live with us. Ain't that enough? Sheepy: Bedi:...? I would consider that a blessing... Arsé-kun: Kay: is it though Sheepy: Bedi:? Of course... If Merlin and I weren't living together, it'd imply that things had gone sour in our relationship. Sheepy: Bedi: Meanwhile, Myrrdin stays in his room a lot of the day and Meril's main hobby when customers aren't here is sleeping. Arsé-kun: Lance: Wow, you've nearly summed up my current schedule perfectly. Sheepy: Bedi: Activities outside of that are important. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well aware, but considering most of my work falls under those categories anyway... Sheepy: Bedi: That sounds problematic... heepy: Bedi:...Hmm, that's right...We haven't told Kay about us, have we,,, So I suppose my previous comment would be confusing... Arsé-kun: *Kay is squinting at Bedi* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin and I are married. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sheepy: Grif: You didn't invite me... We're family, but I didn't get an invitation in the mail... It's okay. Maybe next time. Don't forget me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's hard to do when you're missing, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: I see...But next time you can invite me. Right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Next time?? We only get married once? Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Really... I thought after a while you had to renew your subscription... Sheepy: Grif: It seems you have to renew your marriage with princesses often, but you never get the same one. Scary... But Dad must know what he's talking about... Sheepy: Guin: ..Um, I've never really interacted with young children, but usually that's to be expected. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can't say I know any better! Sheepy: Grif: It's fairly normal for children to draw blood when they bite you. Make sure to wear armor. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anything can draw blood if they have enough teeth and force behind it. Big whoop! Sheepy: Grif: Exactly. Sheepy: Bedi: Lucan was excited about having a younger cousin until you bit him...I only remember this because you bit him... Arsé-kun: *Kay bsod'd. Unsure of what the reason was, or if it was a combination of things. Either way, he got what he wanted.* Sheepy: Bedi: ...Kay? Sheepy: Grif: Kay is saving and exiting. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Griflet? What is that meant to mean here? Sheepy: Grif: He's saving his progress and exiting life to come back later. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... That needs a despawn at the end, doesn't it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Dad must have not let him in. Too bad. Arsé-kun: *People usually do not despawn in regular circumstances. Nothing is happening* Sheepy: Bedi: He must feel overwhelmed and not sure how to process everything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's what I figured it was, but hey. Free food. Sheepy: Bedi: What do we do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh, leave 'em. He's sick and drunk, better he not do dumb stuff. Sheepy: Grif: I have rarely ever been in bars... Do they usually cure illness? Sheepy: Grif: I assumed they were only useful for finding questgivers. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. That's just our bar. Avalon properties and all. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: So Kay just goes to them because he's bored... Sheepy: Grif: I never drink alcohol except when I am required to for quests. Sheepy: Grif: Such as [CAMELOT CELEBRATION - COMPLETED]. Sheepy: Grif: Or [A KAY-PABLE MAN'S BIRTHDAY - COMPLETED]. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, you made it here in one piece, didn't you? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Congrats on your success. Sheepy: Grif:....?! ...Are you implying... Sheepy: Grif:...Bars... can tear you to shreds like a wild animal!? They're alive...? Hmmm...Hmmmmmmm... Arsé-kun: Merlin: What? No. Sheepy: Grif:...No, you must be thinking of bears... Sheepy: Grif: Although, if a bear bites you and you bite it back, you'll give it the scare of its life. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just meant that you got here without issue. Sheepy: Grif: Bears think they're at the top of the food chain because they're big. But that's not true. I am. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sometimes I remember orcas can eat moose. Sheepy: Grif: I can eat orcas. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks! Sheepy: Grif: And you can too. Sheepy: Grif: Just abandon your insecurities on food poisoning and you can eat anything raw. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... But is it good? Sheepy: Grif: I don't have an opinion on it. Sheepy: Grif: It's not green. So it's only average. Arsé-kun: Lance: Good to know.. Arsé-kun: *Suddenly Arséne, slipping through the entrance and pressing against the wall* Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... *observing company* Is now a bad time? Sheepy: Grif:.....Oh, I stole your corpse from you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Nope. Do you want a drink? Hey Meril! Sheepy: Meril: ..... Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he disappears behind the bar before nudging Meril. No response* ....Hey, guess I could make something, but he's much better at it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: There's bedrooms upstairs.... Why doesn't he use them... Arsé-kun: Arséne: I came in to briefly hide from something but sure. I wouldn't mind a light drink if I'm not interrupting anything. Arsé-kun: *he opts to just. not ask Grif for details.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Nope, you aren't. Sheepy: Grif: Did you need it? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I did not, so thank you for taking it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I was hungry. I'll eat it soon. Thank you for the food. Sheepy: Bedi: Um............. That isn't edible. Arsé-kun: Arséne: .... .... ... That was attached to a human person. There is human blood in that. Sheepy: Grif: ........? Sheepy: Grif: That's fine. I'll drain it first. Sheepy: Grif: By the way. Sheepy: Grif: Do you have issues you need resolved? Sheepy: Grif: I smelled my uncle there. Does he need punishment? Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... If you mean Nyar, surprisingly not. He's been on semi-decent behavior. It's rather impressive. Sheepy: Grif: .......!? Sheepy: Grif: He must be ill....... Sheepy: Grif: No matter. I'll beat him until he feels like his normal self again. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I doubt I can stop you. Sheepy: Grif: Stop me? Why? Arsé-kun: Arséne: He's lost some of his power, so he's playing it safe. I guess? Sheepy: Grif: .......... Sheepy: Grif: Lost........ Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Hmmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Is that why I'm here...... Sheepy: Grif: ..........I'll get his power back and then punch him until he feels better. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ADDED: Love(craft) Thy Enemy] Sheepy: Grif: I will do my best. Sheepy: Grif: I sensed my Granddad there too. Please be nice to him. Arsé-kun: *Arséne decides he isn't going to ask.* Sheepy: Grif: Azathoth. He is very nice. I love him a lot. But he's capable of destroying all of us in a blink of an eye. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, if I ever fought him, I would certainly lose. I have little interest in such fights. So be nice to him so I don't get roped into fighting him somehow. For example. [CANCELLED QUEST - I Azathought You Knew Better]. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He comes here sometimes! Sheepy: Grif: Good. I will give him a hug the next time I see him. I have learned that this is a symbol of affection. Bedivere would do this often when we were children and I was play fighting with Lucan. Secretly, I would engage Lucan partially because I liked the affection. But also he was a wimp who needed to be taught how to fight in case he faced a dragon one day. Sheepy: Grif: That's mostly why I would play fight with him. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, I made a drink. Sorry, I'm better with potions, so this may not be as good as Meril's. Sheepy: Grif: The glass helps you grow strong. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Please don't eat glass. Sheepy: Grif:..............Ha. Sheepy: Grif: Hahah. Yes. A joke. Arsé-kun: *Arséne gladly accepts the drink, just kinda eyeing Grif* Sheepy: Grif: Hm... I wonder if it's something on my face... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know the part where you said normal humans shouldn't be involved with the eldritch as why they shouldn't time travel or anything like it? Maybe tone down the chaotic eldritch energy. Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: I am not acting human enough...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Humans don't eat GLASS, for starters! Sheepy: Grif:....I see... I've grown too comfortable being my usual self with Kay- Oh, nor do I. Sheepy: Grif: I made a joke. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh. How impressive. We all missed it assuming you were being honest. Sheepy: Grif: I am always honest. Sheepy: Grif: I never said I eat glass. Sheepy: Grif: Just that it helps you grow strong. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway. Don't miss anymore. Sheepy: Grif: People will mistake you for Sir Bors if you miss too much. Sheepy: Grif:........Hah. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *snrk* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Kay's missing Grif's jokes and will probably be thankful to find that out. Arsé-kun: Kay: pe'ple will mistake you for Bors fer bein' a dumb bitch Sheepy: Grif:......? Sheepy: Grif:...Ah...I see.... You're speaking Alcoholism. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he picks himself up off the bar* I'm what? Sheepy: Grif: It's the language of all drunk alcoholics. Arsé-kun: Kay: You try speaking clearly face down on the bar! Sheepy: Grif:....*he gets up and joins Kay before putting his face on the bar* Arsé-kun: *Lance just watches with amusement* Sheepy: Grif: *incoherent* Sheepy: Grif: *he lifts his head* I see...You speak it fluently... Sheepy: Grif: Did I do well, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean, sure? I don't know what you were saying to begin with. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Sheepy: Grif: You should learn eventually. Sheepy: Grif: But I've heard it hurts people's minds to hear it spoken. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, it absolutely can. Sheepy: Grif: But I'd like a friend who speaks it... Arsé-kun: Arséne: I may be able to direct you to someone, but not quite yet. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Sheepy: Grif: Hm...But how will you contact me when you're ready... Sheepy: Grif: I know. Sheepy: Grif: If I add you to my relationships you will be listed as READY when you are ready to speak with me. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, since I just came to this time period, I don't have any possessions past what is on me, let alone a phone, so we'll have to settle for these medieval forms of communication for now. Sheepy: Bedi:...Um, nobody but you can do that. It's not medieval... It's just you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Cue Grif bashing into your home at 7 am without warning, detecting that you can speak to him at that time. He breaks your pots and leaves. Sheepy: Grif: No, I wouldn’t do that. Sheepy: Grif: They didn’t seem to have any pots. Arsé-kun: *Merlin thinks about introducing Griflet to the Legend of Zelda series* Sheepy: Grif: But if you have any pretty gemstones you don’t want, I’ll accept them. And maybe eat them. Sheepy: Grif: But if you don’t, that’s fine. I have many to eat. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway...... Sheepy: Grif: [RELATIONSHIP UNLOCKED: Arsene Lupin - Detective (?) - A dignified man with an air of mystery. You get the sense he's not the honest type.] Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... So anybody here know how to get werewolves off your tail? Because that would be a thing that is currently happening. Sheepy: Grif: I can fix it. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Would you be so kind to? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ACCEPTED: Wherewolf? Therewolf!] Arsé-kun: Kay: Tell your quest writer I am so disappointed. The wordplay almost hurts. Sheepy: Grif: ........? Sheepy: Grif: What does it say, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... You can't... You can't read your own quest labels? ?? It says "Wherewolf? Therewolf" and I am almost upset. Arsé-kun: Kay: I JUST got the hang of this language and I'm being assaulted with bad puns. Sheepy: Grif: They are in English so I can learn how to read. However, I quickly got the hang of managing most of my menu without any need to be able to read the characters. Arsé-kun: *"Message from the developer!" It's a pop-up.* Sheepy: *Grif looks at the pop-up* Arsé-kun: *It says (translated to English from R'lyehian): "I put so much work into these quest titles, and you haven't been reading them?????? ~Dad"* Sheepy: Grif: What an ungrateful son I am... I see... Kay, teach me how to read so my Dad's work doesn't go unappreciated. Arsé-kun: Kay: I already said I would! Arsé-kun: [QUEST ADDED: Understanding the R'lyetta Stone] Sheepy: Grif: You are now bound to it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Horrible. Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why are you still here, you horrible gremlin? You've got shit to do. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. I'll come back for you. Always. Wherever you go. I will find you. So don't run away. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm in a bar. Why would I leave? Sheepy: Grif: *He gets up* Right, let's get going, Elyan. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: *The two go out to fight the werewolves* Arsé-kun: *Local werewolves get launched to a new, less foggy zip code* Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: [QUEST COMPLETED: Wherewolf? Therewolf!] Sheepy: Grif: Hm...No good drops. Arsé-kun: [ADDITIONAL QUEST ADDED: Nearwolf, Farwolf, Were-ever you are] Sheepy: Grif:...Hm? Sheepy: Grif: What is this? Arsé-kun: popup: *R'ylehian* This is an Additional Quest. You may pursue it for more chances for Loot, or ignore it to return to the Bar. Sheepy: Grif:...I see. But the sooner I return to the bar, the sooner Kay will help me... Right? Arsé-kun: *The popup blanks, and an orb appears on it. hi yog* Arsé-kun: Yog: That is your choice to make, isn't it? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: I am not making it for you, so I presented you the options. You do or you don't. Sheepy: Grif: I'll return to the bar. Did you want to come with me? Arsé-kun: Yog: I would like to, but I cannot breach over. Yet. Sheepy: Grif: Can I help somehow? Arsé-kun: Yog: Well, I have one idea. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Yog: One of my avatars can only surface during a specific holiday season. Announcing the presence of it may let me cheat. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I will do this thing. Arsé-kun: *Merlin's got a Feeling. Oooo-hoooo. song lyrics. irrelevant* Sheepy: *Grif reenters the bar* Arsé-kun: Kay: Welcome b- Sheepy: Grif: It's Christmas. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What? Sheepy: Grif: Merry Christmas. Sheepy: Bedi: Um...You're a bit late. Aren't you? Sheepy: Grif: Merry Christmas. Arsé-kun: Yog: *orbing around Grif* Merry Christmas. I am late, I apologize. Would you like your presents now or later? Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: It's a floating ball... Sheepy: Bedi: And it's talking. Arsé-kun: Yog: The holiday is the only day I am permitted to breach this plane. Would you prefer my holiday avatar? Sheepy: Bedi:...Holiday...avatar...? Sheepy: Bedi: Knowing Grif, it must be Krampus... Arsé-kun: *Yog activates the Avatar of the Holidays. Redhead. No white beard or big stomach, but y'all know who it is. Merry Christmas.* Sheepy: Bedi: ...? Santa Claus...? ... No, that can't be so... I haven't been good enough to receive anything from Santa for a long while... Arsé-kun: Yog: Shush, child. You've never left the Nice list. ^^ Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't like the implication that Grif's dad is Santa Claus. Arsé-kun: Yog: How else would one get to every house on the planet within several hours? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sheesh... No fault in logic there. Arsé-kun: Yog: Merry Christmas. *he pulls out and hands Myrrdin a gift* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I expected to be on the naughty list... Arsé-kun: Yog: Trust me, most people on the planet do not classify as Naughty. It takes special effort. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What? Don't gremlin children usually qualify? Arsé-kun: Yog: Children have their own lists. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow. Sheepy: Grif: If you qualify as naughty and get coal you can just eat it. Sheepy: Grif: I ate Lucan's coal often. Arsé-kun: Yog: Use the coal to make a summoning circle. Summon me personally to get a gift. Pet a reindeer. Spill virgin blood. Happy holidays. *he's still smiling. santa cannot not smile. merry ch* Arsé-kun: Yog: I jest. Please do not. Sheepy: Grif:....? A long list....Too long. Arsé-kun: *Yog carefully stacks gifts on the bar. Once he's sure he got them all placed, he switches from Santa to his normal humanoid avi. pink.* Arsé-kun: Yog: I will stop teasing you all now. Good morning. It's a bit foggy out, isn't it? Sheepy: Bedi:...I haven't been out today... Sheepy: Guin: Yes. It's a surprise... It isn't usually like this. Sheepy: Grif: *he, for once, looks happy. Dad's here!* Sheepy: Elyan: *he stares up at Yog* Sheepy: Guin: Not that it's never foggy, but rather it's surprising how quick the fog came in. Sheepy: Grif: No, it's to be expected. Sheepy: Grif: With monsters nearby it should be foggy. It sets the mood better. Sheepy: Bedi: Enemies nearby? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. You can't sleep when enemies are nearby. So I lost a lot of sleep within the castle. Sheepy: Bedi: That does explain why you looked permanently tired- no, about the fog... Arsé-kun: Yog: That is just normal fog. It blew in from the West. Nothing strange here, fortunately. Sheepy: Grif: Really? Arsé-kun: Yog: Really. Thankfully, this will not be the next Silent Hill. Sheepy: Grif: Silent Hill...? I don't know of it. Sheepy: Grif: Do I have a quest there? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Being around you is like being in Silent Hill. Sheepy: Grif: So I don't talk enough. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have anything interesting to talk about. Other people can talk for me. Just ask Kay if you want Loud Hill instead of Silent Hill. Arsé-kun: Yog: It's a horror.... Never mind. It isn't time for this yet. Arsé-kun: Merlin: it'll be benny hill at this rate. Sheepy: Grif: I can learn of it later. Sheepy: Grif: Dad headed there last I spoke to him. He didn't come back by the time the King attempted to execute the Queen, so I suppose it must be an interesting place. Sheepy: Grif: Although he seemed tired... I have heard that dragons occasionally hibernate, so I suppose he went to his den to hibernate. Sheepy: Grif: I've never hibernated before. Arsé-kun: Kay: *holds up the empty beer mug* Do you wanna hibernate? No guarantees! Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: If I eat that I won't hibernate. Sheepy: Grif: I'll get a stomach ache from internal bleeding. Sheepy: Grif: Unless you plan to bash that into my skull... Arsé-kun: Merlin: headon, apply directly to the forehead, h Sheepy: Grif: Being maced in the head is no fun... Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: I don't need to hibernate. Sheepy: Grif: Have you hibernated before, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Only after drinking! Sheepy: Grif: Really? I never drink alcohol. Sheepy: Grif: I have to always be ready for quests. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah. Shut up, c'mere. We're learning a language. Sheepy: *Grif comes over and sits by Kay* Sheepy: Grif: Let's learn. Sheepy: Bedi: If you need help teaching him, I am here. Sheepy: Grif: What are we reading? Sheepy: Grif: It’s not as though I have any I haven’t simply consumed for stat bonuses anyway. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Of course not. You’re a barbarian, not a librarian... ... ... H-hold on, consumed? Arsé-kun: Kay: *promptly smacks Grif* You don't eat books, you idiot! Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Give me a book and I’ll show you how to eat it. Sheepy: Grif: They always say to “consume knowledge”. So I consume knowledge. Sheepy: Grif: Have you never tried it? Maybe if you did, you would be stronger. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't be stupid. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Sheepy: Grif: So.......... what it comes down to is that we're at our goal is unachievable with the current KEY ITEMS. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, if you need further details on KEY ITEMS or [Book], you can select the colored text and hit X. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: :I Sheepy: Grif: Make sure to remember this in the future. Okay? Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll consider it. Arsé-kun: *they end up with a bible. they don't get far before it turns into a religious debate. yahoo.* Arsé-kun: *today's debate is if the Book of Tobit is canonical. considering knights were Very Christian this kinda thing was inevitable. merlin keeps out of this one* Sheepy: Grif: I know of this thing. If you rode inside of a whale you most certainly would die. Ride outside of it instead. Arsé-kun: Lance: That's not... I mean, yes? But that's not Tobit... That was... .... *awkward pause* Sheepy: Bedi: Job... Sheepy: Grif: No, that’s not his name. Sheepy: Grif: Bill. Arsé-kun: Lance: No, that's me. Sheepy: Bedi: ... Sheepy: Bedi: .... Jon. Sheepy: Bedi: ........ Arsé-kun: Kay: So, what? Are we allowed to skip church in this time? Or are we all just stupid. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, I go... but... Arsé-kun: Yog: *maybe joking* Wasn't it Noah? Sheepy: Grif: Noah was eaten by two whales. Sheepy: Grif: A pair of every animal came with him. Arsé-kun: Yog: That's still a better death than in reality. Anyway. Sheepy: Bedi: Jonah, that's it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We got there in the end. Good job gays. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... My memory for names is worse than one would expect... Sheepy: Grif: His name is Bedivere. Not Gays. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's my husband and I can call him what I want. Sheepy: Grif: I see... When you marry someone, you give them new titles... Sheepy: Grif: So you choose Gays, which rhymes with Kay (almost). Arsé-kun: Merlin: And the modern word for being a man that loves men in a sexy way is gay. So I'm right! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: It rhymes with Kay. Sheepy: Grif: So... Ah, I see, it's plurals. So Kay must be included. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what he comments on.... w wait, what? Sheepy: Grif: It's plural. Sheepy: Grif: He didn't include himself... Sheepy: Grif: I would not be included... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Mmm.... Okay, fair. You'd be something else. Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif: What am I? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Scary. Arsé-kun: Merlin: A disaster. Sheepy: Grif: No, you're just a coward if you find me scary. Sheepy: Grif: My wife didn't find me scary. She could fight me and win. A very attractive trait. Sheepy: Grif: If you worked hard, either one of you could fight me and win. So try harder. Sheepy: Grif: I believe in you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks, but that won't help when you've flattened me. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm.. Sheepy: Grif: Do you not train? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not for this!! The only knight I've sparred against has been Bedi for the last kazillion years! Sheepy: Grif: Hm, no wonder you're weak. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wow. Way to insult Bedivere. Sheepy: Grif: Not an insult. Sheepy: Grif: An observation. Sheepy: Grif: Compared to the other Knights of the Round Table, he is the weakest physically. Better sparring partners would help you. More difficult battles will give you more experience points. Sheepy: Grif: But if every knight focused in STR there would be very few strategies that would be possible. Sheepy: Grif: His AGI is high so naturally he'd move first. A support role would be fitting. Debuffs, buffs, things like that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't know. You haven't seen his arm go yet. That thing Hurts! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Does it lower his AGI? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shockingly? Not at all. Sheepy: Grif: So he could go DPS or support. Sheepy: Grif: I am pure DPS. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And you haven't played video games before? Sheepy: Grif: No. Arsé-kun: *Yog-Sothoth, All in One, One in All, Keeper of the Silver Gate... just sheepishly grins in the background. Guilty.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Why did you do this? Arsé-kun: Yog: It's easier to explain in the long run and because I said "dps" once during the wrong century. My mistake. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Uhuh. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If we end up having to explain, you can explain it for us Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll take responsibility for my mistakes. Arsé-kun: Yog: But if he gets utterly owned or not within the next ten minutes is not of my doing either way. It will not affect the story I tell you to make up for my intrusion. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sure, go ahead. Arsé-kun: *So Yog starts telling a story about one of his cousins, and their journey to get some goddamn humility as well as their power back, and it involves several hu-Wait a minute, that's just about...* Arsé-kun: Arséne: ---Me! I'm the one who got the help handling those wolves, so you're welcome! Sheepy: Harley: Those things weren't wolves... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Wolf men! You get the idea! Sheepy: Harley: Yes, I do. Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. Sheepy: Sherlock: Whoever that was was arguably scarier than those wolves themselves... Arsé-kun: Arséne: He's monster disposal. Sheepy: Harley: I see this. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Either way, we're gonna have one hell of a report to write up.. Sheepy: Harley: Great. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Magnifique. Sheepy: Harley: Do you want to write it?... I'm kidding. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Not especially. Sheepy: Harley: I guess I will. But...How do I even put any of this without sounding crazy... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Exclude the part where they were wolfmen. Just say they lost us in the fog. Easy. Sheepy: Harley: Right, makes sense. That way I can also scratch out a peacock wielding berserker. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... The peacock was a weapon?? I thought that was his pet! Sheepy: Harley: He threw it at an enemy... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Can birds like that do damage? Sheepy: Harley: They do have beaks and claws so maybe...? Sheepy: Harley: He had a sword too, but... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Oh well. It's not our problem anymore. Sheepy: Harley: Right. Let's head home. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Please. I'm exhausted, and I didn't do half the work you two did. Sheepy: Sherlock: We're going home finally? Good! Sheepy: *they head home!* Arsé-kun: *It's a long journey, but they make it!* Sheepy: Sherlock: We're back! Arsé-kun: Impey: Wellllcome back, pet detectives! How'd it go?? Sheepy: Harley: Awful. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Two new things to be afraid of. Sheepy: Harley: Werewolves and peacocks? Arsé-kun: Arséne: What? No. Werewolves and more werewolves. Sheepy: Harley: Makes sense. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Speaking of which, isn't there a detective that's a werewolf? Should we pass this off to them? Sheepy: Harley: Yes, staying with Moriarty I think. Sheepy: Harley: We can pass on both that and...No, no point. Arsé-kun: Arséne: No, finish that, and what? Sheepy: Harley: It's not like the Professor can do anything about a certain someone. Sheepy: Harley: He probably already knows anyway. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Ehhh... He might.. Sheepy: Harley:...? Ah. You've told him already? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I may have asked for someone to make the run over, yes. Sheepy: Harley: Good. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Now we just hope nothing else happens on that front. Sheepy: Harley:...As in him going after the Professor? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Non. I'd prefer that, it'd be easier on us. Sheepy: Harley: Hmm... Sheepy: Harley: I suppose me sleeping soon is important...but it worries me... Arsé-kun: Impey: Aw, don't be! I'll get Wilson and we'll guard you! Nothin' gettin' past this! *trying to look cool* Sheepy: Harley:...Thank you, Impey. I appreciate it. Arsé-kun: Impey: :D !!! Sheepy: Harley: Then I'll start getting ready. Arsé-kun: Impey: Just give me the word! I don't think anyone will mind if they miss my cooking just once! Sheepy: Harley: Then I'll start getting ready. Sheepy: *Harley gets ready and goes to sleep!* Arsé-kun: *Impey takes up guarding duty with Wilson and Sisi. He hired extra help.* Arsé-kun: *Either way, things are going smoothly, it seems. Nothing is happening. There's an occasional noise, but there's a few night-owls doing their own thing in these houses, so it's probably nothing!!* Arsé-kun: *Either way, things are going smoothly, it seems. Nothing is happening. There's an occasional noise, but there's a few night-owls doing their own thing in these houses, so it's probably nothing!!* Sheepy: *definitely nothing!* Arsé-kun: *It's also quiet, so even small sounds travel. Someone drops a book on a table? You're hearing it a few rooms away. A pin being dropped? Sure. Somebody gurgling? Please do that with the door closed, but same deal* Sheepy: *gurgling???* Arsé-kun: *You know!! People do that after brushing teeth sometimes! It's late! It can't be THAT weird!!* Sheepy: *true* Sheepy: *the silence helps harley stay asleep* Arsé-kun: *Which he really needs! Did you know it takes three nights of sleep to make up for one missed night?* Sheepy: *that means he needs like 15* Arsé-kun: *years* Arsé-kun: *And then, the Sound starts low, and slowly... Slowly it gets louder. Anyone that hears it will recognize it. It's.... It's....... Tom screaming.* Arsé-kun: Tom: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Sheepy: *Harley rolls over...* Arsé-kun: Tom: :I Arsé-kun: *Tom relocates himself and tries again. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA* Sheepy: Harley: --SHADDUP! YER TOO LOUD! Arsé-kun: *Arséne reaches over and smacks Tom like an alarm clock at 6:45 AM before High School Mid-Terms. Cease!* Arsé-kun: Tom: >:I Arsé-kun: *Tom relocates himself one more time, and HOWLS* Arsé-kun: Tom: AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sheepy: *Harley jumps off of the sofa before launching himself at Tom, grabbing Tom and throwing him at the wall! Based on his unnatural speed and red eyes, this isn't a good sign* Sheepy: Harley: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Arsé-kun: *Tom stops screaming.* Arsé-kun: *Aleister is somehow already here despite there being no entryways and standing juuuust behind Harley* Arsé-kun: Aleister: Well, good morning, Harley~ Sheepy: Harley: *he turns to face Aleister* ... Yer too loud. Arsé-kun: Aleister: *he smirks, but lowers his voice* My deepest apologies, dear. Sheepy: Harley: ...Yeah. Sure. Arsé-kun: Aleister: Right when I was going to gently wake you, too. How cruel they were. *he extends a hand to Harley* Perhaps we can go somewhere quieter? Sheepy: Harley: *he takes the hand with little hesitation...* Sheepy: *Something suddenly bites Aleister from behind!* Arsé-kun: Aleister: ?! *a tentacle busts out of his back to slam away whatever it was before he turns his head to look* Sheepy: *It was Wilson! He whines upon being slapped by the tentacle* Sheepy: Harley:.......! Arsé-kun: Aleister: How rude. Did you not teach the pup to not bite visitors? Sheepy: *His lets go of Aleister's hand before...going for his throat! Harley, no* Arsé-kun: Aleister: *he catches Harley's hand with his own hands before Harley can make contact* Uh-uh! Down, Harley..! Sheepy: Harley: You...You....! Arsé-kun: Aleister: It was instinctual. How was I to know? Sheepy: Harley: *He reaches for Aleister's throat with his other hand* I hate you! I HATE YOU! Arsé-kun: *Harley is able to grab Aleister's throat, but it doesn't seem to bother the man. At all* Arsé-kun: Aleister: Yes, so I am aware. Thank you for telling me. Sheepy: Harley: You hurt him...! Arsé-kun: Aleister: He'll be fine. Stand down. Sheepy: Harley: You, you...! *he punches Aleister* Arsé-kun: *It's a lot softer than it should be. Other than the obvious clothes, Aleister's body takes the hit the same way a bowl of slime would. As in, it'll be fine and it probably feels fucking gross* Sheepy: Harley: Yeh 'urt 'im, yeh 'urt 'im...! Jus' like I'll 'urt you! Arsé-kun: Aleister: Do not make me force you down. You have one chance. Sheepy: Harley: I don't care what yeh say, old man! Yer gonna beg fer mercy fer yer actions! Arsé-kun: *Impey RIPS the door open and off the hinges! He's here to save Harley! .... Except he's got the same eyes as Harley, and he's growling. uhoh* Sheepy: Harley: *he doesn't appear too bothered by this* Arsé-kun: Aleister: Ah, there you are. Restrain him. Arsé-kun: *Impey doesn't move* Sheepy: *Harley tries to grab Aleister's throat once more* Arsé-kun: *He does, but it doesn't do much again.* Sheepy: Harley: Why?! Why?! Sheepy: Harley: Yer like goo! Arsé-kun: Aleister: I was going to tell you, but not if you misbehave like this. You are being pathetic. Sheepy: Harley: Yeh 'it my dog! Arsé-kun: Aleister: Who's a good boy? It isn't you right now! Sheepy: Harley: SHADDUP! Arsé-kun: *Aleister looks startled for a second. Just a brief moment. Just* Sheepy: Harley: NOBODY GETS AWAY WITH 'ITTIN' WILSON! Arsé-kun: *Impey is processing complex abstractions* Sheepy: Harley: Why're yeh so gooey?! Yer disgustin'! Arsé-kun: Aleister: Be good and shut up! Arsé-kun: *Van distantly screams in anger. huh.* Sheepy: Harley: But yer a dog 'itter...!! Why do I gotta lisin' to yeh?! Arsé-kun: Impey: ...... Shhhuut up, Paathhetiic...? *he finally stalks in, still growling* Arsé-kun: *it is at this moment Aleister knew: He Fucked Up* Sheepy: Harley: There's no reason...! Arsé-kun: Impey: Why should I....?! Arsé-kun: Aleister: Not you, Barbicane, that wasn't to you! Sheepy: Harley:...Yer so gooey, it's disgustin'... Arsé-kun: Impey: Disgusting too now...? *he's focused on Aleister, despite Harley having said it* Arsé-kun: Aleister: Wait, why are you looking at me? I didn't say it, Barbicane! *he can't keep up with both of them at once, it seems* Sheepy: Harley:....Sheesh, that thing woke me up for this... Jus' wanna sleep more. ... Yer face ticks me off...! Arsé-kun: Impey: .... 'Nd you're in here! I'll kill you..!! Arsé-kun: Tom: ;) *sitting on the sofa again, staring* Arsé-kun: Tom: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Sheepy: Harley: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! Arsé-kun: Impey: DIE DIE DIE! Sheepy: *Harley tightens his grip!* Arsé-kun: *And Impey lunges at Aleister to bite!* Arsé-kun: *Impey fails to land a bite, coming away with a mouth full of very questionable goo instead. He spits it out towards Tom, hisses, and resumes his attack* Sheepy: Harley: YER SO LOUD...!! Arsé-kun: *Aleister doesn't want to hurt his "Soulmate", so isn't making any moves towards him..* Arsé-kun: *Tom just sits there with that little smile on his face.* Sheepy: Nyar: ...Sheesh, for a guy who's pretty smart, you really don't plan ahead for every potential flaw in your plans, huh? Arsé-kun: Aleister: How was I supposed to know a dog whining would derail literal years of work?? Don't you have people to be corrupting? Sheepy: Nyar: Maybe try Tinder next time? Arsé-kun: *Aleister gives him a slightly annoyed look while pushing Impey away with a tentacle. Impey is biting into it. He doesn't notice or care* Sheepy: Harley: 'E's not jus' some dog! 'E's Wilson! Sheepy: Harley: 'E's th' most important thing t' me in th' world...! An' yeh 'urt 'im! I'll NEVER forgive yeh! Sheepy: Nyar: Or maybe you've run out of people on Tinder to swipe? Arsé-kun: *Aleister whips around and pulls out a revolver to shoot Nyar with. He misses completely. Ironically, he's the one almost blinded out of anger here...* Sheepy: Nyar: Have you considered taking aiming lessons? Arsé-kun: Aleister: Oh, shut up, Nyarla! Sheepy: Nyar: *grin* Maybe if you did, you'd have aimed for someone within your reach. Sheepy: Nyar: Normally I just drive people to insanity. But thanks to her and thanks to you, that's not an option. Sheepy: Nyar: Maybs if you hadn't acted to selfishly I would've helped...Hmm, but no. You make me mad. Arsé-kun: Aleister: What can you do without your power? Bleed on me? Don't be so egotistical. Sheepy: Nyar: See, this is why you're in this situation! Arsé-kun: Aleister: You need to explain. Neither of these berserkers can hurt me. You're just bluffing. Sheepy: Nyar: It's super simple to get this guy to warm up to you. Just give him pancakes and make him feel loved and appreciated. Compliment his dog. But instead you go ahead and start hurting everyone around him...Sheesh. That's kinda pathetic, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Aleister: Like you're any better, killing every other human you meet. At least I keep them alive! Sheepy: Nyar: Hmmm. Well, I'm the one in a romantic relationship and you're...Well, you're just alone. Arsé-kun: Aleister: For now you are! Sheepy: Nyar: You had a support system at one point, didn't you? Sheepy: Nyar: Or did your family just never love you? Arsé-kun: Aleister: Are you going to keep slinging schoolyard insults at me, or are you going to do something? You're boring me. Sheepy: Nyar: Hmm. Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, I'm doing something. Wouldn't you like to know what it is? Hmhm. Sheepy: Nyar: You should've left when you had the chance, but you just blew it away with your oh-so-suave, "take my hand ~ let's go somewhere quiet"... Sheepy: Nyar: Well, whatever. Sheepy: Nyar: Not my issue. Arsé-kun: Aleister: I WAS going to leave after that! You think you know so much! Sheepy: Nyar: Hehe. Sheepy: Nyar: Not only do I think I do, I do. Sheepy: Nyar: Man... If only you had your cane.... Sheepy: Nyar: Technically, you could just escape now, but you're too scared of accidentally killing your target, right? Well, it's too late anyway... Arsé-kun: Aleister: If you tell me where it is, I'll give you this garbage vampire to you to corrupt. Completely free, no strings. *he gestures to the Impey trapped in all the ?? ?? ??eldritch?? ?? ? mess? ? ? behind him. it was all beaten out of him and it's just, there. gross. put your guts? away* Sheepy: Nyar: Haha....I live here. Arsé-kun: Aleister: ...? heepy: Nyar: You don't need to "give" me any resident to corrupt. Unless you intend to not give my powers back... Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, I live here. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, Harley has given up and just gone back to sleep. same* Arsé-kun: *Legendary posts* Sheepy: Nyar: I could've corrupted any one of them if I wanted. Sheepy: Nyar: But I didn't. Sheepy: Nyar: Because you know what? Sheepy: Nyar: Turns out, I like them. And then you hurt someone, well... They're less likely to wanna be your friend. Sheepy: Nyar: Maybe you should just put him to bed and leave? It may make you look betrer if actively don't commit evil. Maybe turn yourself in. Arsé-kun: Arséne: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said, Nyarlathotep, sir. *he leans in and takes a potshot at Aleister with Harley's gun. it connects but does no actual damage.* And he managed to bore Harley? Absolutely incredible. Sheepy: Nyar: Wow, thanks. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I hated it. Say something terrible. Sheepy: Nyar: Sure! Are you ready to feel true fear? Sheepy: Nyar: You might as well sit tight and beg for mercy. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Oooh, scary! *he mock shudders* Better than what's-his-face here! Also, five til. Sheepy: Nyar: It's not like you can run or hide anymore! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Iä, Iä! Sheepy: Grif: *he suddenly bursts in, wielding his sword* -Iä! Iä! Yog-Sothoth! Arsé-kun: Aleister: ?! Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, of course the guy who praises Yog's an absolute weirdo...I mean, I'm right here... Sheepy: Nyar: Anyway, have fun dying! Sheepy: Grif: [A wild ALEISTER appeared!] Arsé-kun: Aleister: ? ? ? ?? ? ??? Sheepy: Grif: *he lunges at Aleister* Sheepy: Grif: I'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS! Sheepy: Nyar: Don't bother running away. You've been set as a quest enemy. His reward, of course, is a nice shiny cane to chew on... With a snake design. You may find it familiar. Arsé-kun: Aleister: You...! Sheepy: *Grif stabs Aleister!* Arsé-kun: Aleister: ..!!! What is this?! *he backs off, and off the sword. gooey. gross* Sheepy: Nyar: You won't be dead probably. I want to watch you suffer as your hard work gets eaten away by some dragon who thinks eating books makes him smarter. Sheepy: Grif: *he goes for Aleister again* Arsé-kun: *there really IS no escape for Aleister, and he gets stabbed again* Sheepy: Grif: What do you drop? What do you drop? I'll add it to my hoard! Arsé-kun: *Aleister gets rather anticlimactically obliterated by a knight with a sword. It's completely embarrassing and the beating is absolutely atrocious.* Sheepy: Grif: I won. Sheepy: Grif: [Quest Completed: Give Him an Aleiscare] Arsé-kun: *[ADDITIONAL QUEST!]* Sheepy: Nyar:...Man, that could've been more fun... Hey, bud, wanna know where the cane was? Arsé-kun: *.... there is no title. it just says "Tell my uncle I say hello for me!"* Sheepy: Grif: Dad says hello. Sheepy: Nyar: Well hello to you too! Arsé-kun: Aleister: ..... Fine. *he picks his head up off the floor. that is the only thing still looking remotely human after all that.* Arsé-kun: *[QUEST COMPLETED!]* Sheepy: *Nyar swaggers over to Harley's bed and...pulls the cane out from under the mattress!* Arsé-kun: Aleister: ......... Sheepy: Nyar: Hehehe. Arsé-kun: Aleister: You... It....... It was...... Sheepy: Nyar: Just in reach this whole time. Sheepy: Nyar: Just like Harley. Sheepy: Nyar: Isn't that hilarious? Arsé-kun: Aleister: ................ Sheepy: Nyar: And for the icing on the cake... Hey, Grif, come over here. Sheepy: *Nyar gives Grif the cane. ...Grif starts chewing on it. Grif no* Arsé-kun: *Aleister lets himself faceplant back onto the floor. It makes a gross slime noise. Sploogch.* Sheepy: Nyar: This is why you always plan every single possible thing that could go wrong. Sheepy: Nyar: I give you a 3/10. Sheepy: Nyar: You got here through your hard work, but the work wasn't smart enough, even though you yourself are smart. Sheepy: Nyar: Really, if I was doing this, I'd be out of here with Harley already. Arsé-kun: Arséne: 2/10, barely tried. I brought Sir Grif's reward from helping me previously as w........ *he spots the questionably gory eldritch mess that was previously at least human SHAPED* ...... HereTakeIt *he forces a gemstone into Grif's hand and promptly bails scene* Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: *his eyes figuratively light up.* Arsé-kun: *dumbass cat eyes, activate* Sheepy: Grif: *muffled* Shiny... Sheepy: Nyar:...Man, what to do with you... You could be useful in the future, but... Yoink. *he steals his power back!* Arsé-kun: *There is a mass disturbance in the force as that happens. Power Regained.* Sheepy: Nyar: ...Hey, I'm feeling better already- *Grif punches him* Ghhk! Buddy, you can wait until after I'm done to beat me up! Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, Aleister, are you alive? Arsé-kun: Aleister: *muffled* no Sheepy: Nyar: I guuueeesss I should take you to the hospital...Hmm...Hmm, I know. Sheepy: Nyar:...... Sheepy: Nyar:..Too bad everyone's left, hm? Sheepy: Nyar: I'm still here, sure, but I might just abandon ship. Arsé-kun: Aleister: ... W-wait, don't..! Sheepy: Nyar: Hehehe. Don't worry. You'll have a lot of company in Hell, okay? Arsé-kun: Aleister: I don't want to go alone..! Sheepy: Nyar: Too bad~ See ya. Maybe don't call me by some overly familiar nickname next time. Oh wait, you'll be dead. Arsé-kun: Aleister: Wait..! Sheepy: *Nyar "leaves".* Arsé-kun: *Aleister forces his reforming head up to look around. He really is alone now..... He's really alone. All alone. Alone. Alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alonealonealonealonealonealone.......... He screams, but no one was around to hear it.* Sheepy: *Nyar watches this with amusement. Oh, how he's missed working at full capacity! A cruel, twisted smile forms on his face... As Grif munches on his prize, slightly distractinh Nyar from his show,but that's okay!* Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, what a wimp...! Hehe, without someone strong to lean on he really is just a brainy coward! Sheepy: Grif: *chew, chew* Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, I just really feel like reigning terror now...! ...Hmm, but if I show Watson the work I've done (read: I stalled until the heavy lifter got here) he might praise me! Hehehe! Sheepy: Grif: *blank stare at Nyar as he keeps chewing on the cane* Sheepy: Nyar: I'm going to get so much praise from everyone... Sheepy: Grif: *chew, chew, chew* Arsé-kun: Impey: ..... *he blinks in confusion a few times from his spot on the floor before flinching from the sound of metal being chewed on. It cannot be a pleasant sound, according to our boy* Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, you're up! Arsé-kun: Impey: Hey... ..Hey, wait, why are we in here?? Sheepy: Nyar: Well, you went berserk. Arsé-kun: Impey: ?!?!???? *he jumps up and looks around* I didn't hurt anyone, right..?? Sheepy: Nyar: Nope. Sheepy: Nyar: You didn't. Arsé-kun: Impey: *PHEW!!* That's a relieffffuCK why is this guy here!? Sheepy: Nyar: You actually stalled him out really well. Wilson, too. And me. Arsé-kun: Impey: For...? *flinches again from that Noise* For That?? Sheepy: Nyar: We just needed to stall him out long enough for someone who could actually damage him to get here. Arsé-kun: Impey: Man, it sounds awesome. Wish I remembered it. Sheepy: Nyar: You bit him a bunch. Arsé-kun: Impey: *He decides to take Nyar's word for it (for now) and looks towards Harley* And how's our man of the hour? Sheepy: Nyar: He's resting. Aleister managed to... how do I put this. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, he was going to run off with Aleister until Aleister accidentally hurt Wilson. Sheepy: Nyar: And then he tried to strangle Aleister. Arsé-kun: Impey: Serves him right! Arsé-kun: Impey: But where's Wilson now? Willlll-son..? C'mere, buddy! Sheepy: *Wilson comes out from hiding. There he is!* Arsé-kun: Impey: There's the good boy! Who's a good boy?? Is it you???? Sheepy: Nyar: You were misinterpreting everything Aleister was saying and making it hard for him to deal with the situation properly. I think he was going to use you to help him abscond with Harley. Sheepy: Wilson: *bark! he’s wagging his tail. he’s the good boy!* Arsé-kun: Impey: .... Are you saying I did something good, or are you callin' me stupid? *he leans down to pet Wilson. Look at this good boy!!!* Sheepy: Nyar: No, it wasn’t an insult. It helped stall. Arsé-kun: Impey: Man, it doesn't feel right taking credit for it... It's not like I decided to do it.. Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, you gotta get praise for something. Sheepy: Grif: *completely incoherent response* Arsé-kun: Impey: ... Yeah, you're right! I'll take it! Sheepy: Grif: [Impey Barbicane - Junk Inventor: A goofy mechanic with a heart of gold. Secretly insecure. Makes the best pancakes.] Sheepy: Grif: Our bond as two who have fought side by side has been born. Sheepy: Grif: Even if you did just lie there. That’s fine. Arsé-kun: Impey: ...? *he turns to look at Grif and is immediately distracted by the menu instead. ooooooh. what fancy tech is THIS?* Sheepy: Grif: Do you find my menu of interest? Sheepy: Grif: It’s a menu any knight should have. Arsé-kun: Impey: It looks super useful!! Everybody should have one of these, it'd be so cool! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I can see many things on it. I can demonstrate its capabilities to you when it conveniences you. Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, buddy, if you’re going to try to befriend people, you should tell them your name. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Yes. My name is Griflet. This is my uncle. He’s a miniboss at times. If he bothers you, I will fight him. Sheepy: Nyar: I’m totally a final boss! Arsé-kun: Impey: Only a miniboss? Not a lot of faith in him, huh?-- Eh. Ehhhh. You're like... A late dungeon boss you can cheese with a good strat. Sheepy: Grif: I have fought worse. Sheepy: Grif: His capabilities make him suited for fighting humans. Sheepy: Grif: I have little interest in the hallucinations he inflicts upon me. I will always find him no matter what he tries. Arsé-kun: Impey: owo)b Sheepy: Grif: He doesn’t like crits. Arsé-kun: Tom: my unlife's work, ignored. Arsé-kun: Tom: i will fade into obscurity and die another death, preferably without horses this time. Arsé-kun: Tom: ... Arsé-kun: Tom: A horse's mouth is bigger than it's brain. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, so is yours. Sheepy: Grif: I don’t care about crits. Sheepy: Nyar: Not you! Arsé-kun: Tom: Horses can remember and understand human emotions, and don't like people that frown at them. Perhaps I upset that horse. Sheepy: Grif: ..... Sheepy: Grif: *he points at Tom* Baaaaa. Arsé-kun: Tom: Baaaa. I'm a sheep. Sheepy: Grif: Baaaaaaa. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, is that all? I hear there are injured I should Interact with to Heal and create Relationships with. Arsé-kun: Impey: That sounds like a good idea. Just don't wake up everybody else doing it..! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Stealth. Sheepy: *Grif crouches.* Sheepy: *Grif starts sliding away slowly.* Arsé-kun: Impey: .... *looks at Nyar* I see the resemblance. Is your whole family like that..? Sheepy: Nyar: Eh. No. Not really. Sheepy: Nyar: He's my nephew's kid. Sheepy: Nyar: My nephew also has an extremely snarky satyr-like son who has a sibling that's an abomination but is invisible. Arsé-kun: Impey: Really gets around! Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah. Sheepy: Nyar: But there's a lot of variety. Sheepy: Nyar: He's just a weirdo who runs on JRPG protag logic and if he teams up with the right people he can hit bugs that allow him to clip through walls. Arsé-kun: Impey: Impressive! Sheepy: Grif: What is JRPG? Can Kay eat it? I want to bring him something nice. Sheepy: Nyar: It's a genre of video game. Sheepy: Grif: What is a video game? Sheepy: Nyar: It's a game you play on a...The games your dad plays! Sheepy: Grif: Television.. Long version of TV. Arsé-kun: Impey: But not all of them are. Just some. Sheepy: Grif: A television is minimum a foot long. TV are maximum a foot long. Sheepy: Nyar: He's from medieval times... Arsé-kun: Impey: It's called a TV because it's just an easier way of saying Tele-Vision.. What? Sheepy: Nyar: He must have time travelled. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *from somewhere else* For a healer, he's moving awfully slow. Sheepy: Grif: ...! My services are needed. *he rushes to Arsene* Arsé-kun: Impey: ... Y'know, makes sense. If someone threw me into 3000 I'd be confused too. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah. Sheepy: Nyar: But hey, if you befriend him, you'll have someone to show your inventions to! Arsé-kun: *Impey was already invested, but now he's got all his apples in one basket. eggs. whatever. shut up* Sheepy: Nyar: And he must not know much about current machines so you can tell him about that. Plus, he gets a friend, something he has a really hard time making. Win-win! Arsé-kun: Impey: :D! Sheepy: Nyar: Just a warning that he's kind of stupid and definitely a berserker. He's weird. Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, but here's one issue. How do we get this guy out of here? It's fun watching him suffer, but, like... Eventually we gotta move him. Sheepy: Harley: D' yeh both make it an 'abit, wanderin' int' people's rooms 'n makin' a nuisance 'f yerselves? Ramblin' 'n not lettin' 'em....Why's 'e 'ere? Arsé-kun: Impey: 'Pparently we stalled him. Mornin', how're you doing? Sheepy: Harley: Tired. 'ad 'n awful...What, stalled? So it wasn't a dream... Arsé-kun: Impey: Aw, even you remember it?? What was it like? Sheepy: Harley: Eh... Awful. Sheepy: Harley: Nothin's clear 'n m' loaf 's killin' me... Oi, yeh know 'f Wats'n's doin' fine? 's 'e safe? Sheepy: Harley: Nothin's clear 'n m' loaf 's killin' me... Oi, yeh know 'f Wats'n's doin' fine? 's 'e safe? Arsé-kun: Impey: :) ????? Sheepy: Harley: Watson. 's 'e safe? Sherlock? Sheepy: Harley: Lupin? Arsé-kun: Impey: Didn't check, didn't check, I heard him I think? Sheepy: Harley: *he clears his throat* ...Right, I'll go check on them then. You can come with me. Arsé-kun: Impey: Yessir! *and he picks up Wilson* Here is your important thing! Sheepy: Harley:...! Thank you. *he accepts Wilson* Sheepy: Harley: Let's go now. Sheepy: Harley: We can discuss what to do with him with the others. Arsé-kun: Tom: Never gift a horse in the man Sheepy: Harley:...Thanks, Tom. Sheepy: Harley: *he heads to see Lupin and the gang* Sheepy: Grif: And that's why you don't drink water after eating fish. Sheepy: Grif: It'll swim in the water and your stomach will hurt. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I thought that was why it was necessary to kill and cut the fish prior. *he's back at his desk with a mug of coffee. save him* Sheepy: Grif: Yes, you're very smart. Sheepy: Harley: Lupin. Are you okay? You're unhurt, right? Arsé-kun: Arséne: ! *he looks over* Yes, yes, I'm fine. I had to *ahem* I had to have a wallace but otherwise untouched. You though, are you okay? Sheepy: Harley: My head's foggy and hurting. I feel like I had an awful dream. Sheepy: Harley: I could be better but I'm fine. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Fantastic to hear. You two really had the bastard struggling, so good work. Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. Are Watson and Sherlock alright? Arsé-kun: Arséne: They should be. The Saint is making the rounds to check, or so I was told. I cannot confirm this because I can't see through the ceiling. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry, I'm just very worried. Arsé-kun: Arséne: It's completely understandable. Don't apologize. Sheepy: Harley: I should go check on them...right? Arsé-kun: Arséne: If you want to? Sheepy: *Harley goes to check on Watson!* Arsé-kun: *Watson is... not up. No one has woken him up for once* Sheepy: *Harley internally debates wanting comfort from Watson and bottling up and hiding his feelings as he usually does* Sheepy: Harley: (...But he needs the sleep and I'd just be bothering him...) Arsé-kun: Impey: owo? Sheepy: Harley: He's busy sleeping. Sheepy: Harley: I....I want to speak to him, but... No, he's sound asleep. We should move on. Arsé-kun: Impey: We should- Arsé-kun: *Tom loudly sneezes from Impey's pocket. If that wasn't enough, he follows it up with fart noises. local gremlin has recognized his maximum poltergeist potential* Sheepy: Harley:?! Arsé-kun: *Impey pulls out Tom and considers him* Arsé-kun: Impey: If that was revenge for not calling you a hero, that's fair. Arsé-kun: *and then Impey plops Tom back into his pocket (upside down) before looking to Watson, to make sure this didn't wake him up. Spoilers: it did.* Sheepy: Harley: ...! Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry... Arsé-kun: Watson: Oh, Harley. Did you need something...? Sheepy: Harley: I shouldn't bother you with it. Arsé-kun: Watson: :< Sheepy: Harley:....Fine, if it's what you want. Arsé-kun: Impey: Have fun! *he pushes Harley further in (lightly) and closes the door. living up to his name i see* Sheepy: Harley: !! Sheepy: Harley:...Please don't laugh at me, but... Um... Sheepy: Harley: I-... I want-...You won't laugh, will you? I'm not bothering you, right? Arsé-kun: Watson: I won't. If it's important enough for you to come to me at this hour? Then it must be *stifled yawn* Very important. Sheepy: Harley: I want comforting after what just happened. Arsé-kun: Watson: .... What happened? *he shifts so there's room on the bed, which Watson pats. come, sit* Sheepy: *Harley sits in the new space* Sheepy: Harley: Apparently Aleister showed up. I don't know why but he's currently lying bloodied up in my room. Arsé-kun: Watson: !! Sheepy: Harley: I have vague memories at most. Arsé-kun: Watson: ... But you're here, unharmed, and he is not. Sheepy: Harley:...But I know I finally just wore down mentally too much to fight him off. I was going to go with him. Arsé-kun: Watson: And that did not happen, I see. Sheepy: Harley: I think I attacked Tom. I tried to strangle Aleister because he hurt Wilson I think. Wilson seems fine now, but... Arsé-kun: Tom: i scream you scream we all scream and hit the bad man Sheepy: Wilson: *blah blah blah tom blah blah blah blah wilson blah wilson blah blah* Sheepy: Harley: Right, I don't know what happened to him. Sheepy: Harley: Just that when I came to, well... He was on my floor. Arsé-kun: Tom: A big shiny man with a stabby stabby stabbed him a lot. Squiddicus invited tin can man. You gremlins got confusing. I kissed a wall. It was romantic. Sheepy: Harley: .....! That man who killed those werewolves earlier... Sheepy: Harley: Right, he was talking to Lupin, wasn't he. Arsé-kun: Tom: Did you know a horse's hooves are their fingertips? Sheepy: Harley: So Nyarlathotep or Lupin must have called him. Arsé-kun: Tom: Squiddly. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry, I'd explain everything better, but... Arsé-kun: Watson: No, no, don't work yourself up. We'll do it slowly. Sheepy: Harley: My brain is a haze. I think I was under the effects of the hidden potential. Arsé-kun: Watson: Then lets not force it. Have you had any water since? Sheepy: Harley: No. Sheepy: Harley: My first thought after looking over the situation was seeing if you along with Lupin and Sherlock were alright. Arsé-kun: Watson: Shocker. *he leans over to open a night-table drawer. there's like 4 unopened water bottles. one is given to Harley* I appreciate it, but you can't help us if you are dead. Sheepy: Harley: I haven't checked on Sherlock yet, but... Sheepy: Harley:...Thank you. Arsé-kun: Tom: sher-lock snores like a man dying of death. dying is bad. aaaa. Sheepy: *Harley takes a drink of the water. Wilson sniffs it. Wilson loses interest!* Arsé-kun: *smells like water and drawer* Sheepy: Harley:...Right, his snoring is impossible to sleep through. Arsé-kun: Watson: I almost pity Arséne. He has to hear it every night now. Sheepy: Harley: Yes.... Arsé-kun: Watson: Better than us hearing it. Oh well! Sheepy: Harley: Perhaps I should have warned him ahead of time, but he probably would've just said "oh, I can handle it" and not be able to handle it. Arsé-kun: Watson: That sounds like something he would do. Arsé-kun: *there's a small crash from below that usually means one thing: van helsing touched something in the kitchen.* Sheepy: Harley: Gh?! What was that...?! Arsé-kun: Watson: That sounded suspiciously like Abraham in the kitchen. It is not our problem. Sheepy: Harley: Right... Arsé-kun: Watson: But if you want to stay here for now, I wouldn't mind. Sheepy: Harley: You wouldn't...? I do want to stay here for now... It won't be too much of a problem, right? Sheepy: Harley: I won't be in the way? Arsé-kun: Watson: It's not a problem at all. Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. Sheepy: Harley: I suppose I should have told everyone sooner about him, but, I... Arsé-kun: Watson: Couldn't. It's hard to talk about things you're worried about. Sheepy: Harley:..I didn't want to endanger anyone or put more on people's plates. Yes, exactly. Arsé-kun: Watson: I see. That does explain a lot of things. Sheepy: Harley: But because of my actions, so many people got hurt. Arsé-kun: Watson: People get hurt. It happens no matter what we do, unfortunately. Sheepy: Harley: No. If I'd dealt with him sooner, Twilight would have been less powerful. Arsé-kun: Watson: I'm not so sure, considering they had, what did he say? Squiddly? Sheepy: Harley: But I kept him to myself... Which is what he wanted from the very beginning. ...Oh, Nyarlathotep. Sheepy: Harley: I suppose. Sheepy: Harley: But this hidden potential is his invention. Arsé-kun: Watson: All this aside, you still came to see if I was okay. I appreciate that, you know. Sheepy: Harley:...You do? Arsé-kun: Watson: Absolutely. It proves that even if you're acting however, you do still care. That's important. And I like the attention. Sheepy: Harley: Of course I do...! Sheepy: Harley: I just didn't feel like I had any choice. Sheepy: Harley: But at this point, I've been so cruel to keep everyone safe that no matter how much I apologize, I can't response redeem myself, can I? Arsé-kun: Watson: I doubt that. The physical.. How do I say this? You can point to him and explain now, and I doubt anyone will find fault with it. Sheepy: Harley:...Really? Arsé-kun: Watson: I don't see why not. Just not at this hour. Sheepy: Harley: Yes, I suppose so. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry for my actions. Even if my goal was to protect you, it... wasn't right. An explanation would have been smarter and less cruel. Arsé-kun: Watson: Apology accepted. Even if it wasn't, you had our safety as your priority. I can't say I'm angry about it, but I am still slightly annoyed from time to time. Sheepy: Harley: Yes...it wasn't right. Arsé-kun: Watson: Oh well. Lesson learnt, what's done is done. Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. Sheepy: Harley: I just hope everyone else feels the same way. I’ll need to apologize to everyone... including Mycroft. I treated him wrongly. I made him look terrible to others. In the end, I was just angry at myself for not being able to do more and needed someone to project the blame on someone. Sheepy: Harley: ...Sorry, I’m rambling. This is my problem. Not yours. You shouldn’t have to listen. Arsé-kun: Watson: I absolutely should and am. Sheepy: Harley: Why? Arsé-kun: Watson: It's my place to, is all. What kind of guardian would I be if I didn't listen to you? Sheepy: Harley: ...But- No, I can’t fight that. Arsé-kun: Watson: I'd prefer you didn't fight me on it. I'm not even armed. Sheepy: Harley: Armed? Sheepy: Harley: ... Sheepy: Harley: There is an armed man downstairs... Arsé-kun: Watson: .... I was joking. Sheepy: Harley: ...Right, but it’s kind of important to mention I think. Arsé-kun: Watson: You're right and I appreciate it, but I'm fairly certain we have a fair share of armed men. Sheepy: Harley: This one was chewing on Aleister’s cane. Sheepy: Harley: Which I also think is import to note...usually people don't eat metal... Sheepy: Harley:...Or think drinking water after eating fish makes them swim in your stomach. Sheepy: Harley: But that's besides the point. Sheepy: Harley: Basically, uh... I guess in the morning I should apologize to everyone. Arsé-kun: Watson: If that's what you want to do, then I guess it's a good idea. Arsé-kun: Watson: Personally? I recommend going to bed. It's too early and we are not going on a coffee binge Sheepy: Harley: I can't. Aleister is in my room. Arsé-kun: Watson: Horrible. Sheepy: Harley: He's a gory mess. I don't want to sleep around that. Arsé-kun: Watson: Then don't sleep in there..? Arsé-kun: Watson: I don't think anyone has the right to judge you sleeping somewhere else due to the circumstance. Sheepy: *in the morning...* Sheepy: Nyar: So basically, because I'm lovable, good, and praiseworthy, I built a coffin. Arsé-kun: Van: For what? For whoever dies when I start cooking? Or the hopefully dead man upstairs? Sheepy: Nyar: The latter. He's still not dead but it's fine. We can put him in early! Sheepy: Nyar: I've already notified the necessary people. Sheepy: Nyar: Vlad. Moriarty. Some weirdo gremlin. Arsé-kun: Van: I won't have to put you down out back then. Good work. *and he goes back to contemplating the frying pan* Sheepy: Nyar:...Hehehe. Arsé-kun: Van: I know what I said. Now shoo, before this enters your skull. Sheepy: Nyar: Fiiiiine. Arsé-kun: Van: Just get rid of him. Sheepy: Nyar: You got it. Sheepy: *Nyar heads upstairs* Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, hey, Aleister. Arsé-kun: Aleister: ... What. Sheepy: Nyar: As your very dependable and incredibly handsome local being of all evil, I went ahead and dug your grave. I even made you a coffin! Sheepy: Nyar: It's great, right? Sheepy: Nyar: That you've got someone like me? Arsé-kun: Aleister: Could I get the coffin without the grave for bringing your power right back to you, perhaps? Sheepy: Nyar: Hmmm, hmmm. Sheepy: Nyar: Like, a water burial? Arsé-kun: Aleister: No burial. No cremation, either. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, I've already got a prize for you. The knowledge that...Hayley? Hurly? What's his face is in good hands, being around me! It's like he doesn't need you at all. Okay, so he did end up with a bullet in his head because of me, but it didn't hit his brain so it's all good. That's enough for you to rest in peace, right? Arsé-kun: Aleister: you wHAT Sheepy: Nyar: Ehehehe. Sheepy: Nyar: Soooooorrryyy~ Sheepy: Nyar: But, I bet if you were there, it totally wouldn't have happened. Well, that's all water under the bridge. Sheepy: Nyar: Okay then, what do you want? Arsé-kun: Aleister: I want out of this room. Sheepy: Nyar: Where do you want to go? That's so vague. Sheepy: Nyar: I could dunk you in a grave with a request like that. Arsé-kun: Aleister: .... If you don't close the grave, fine. Sheepy: Nyar:...You expect to escape, hm. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, I suppose I shouldn't crush your hopes... Sheepy: Nyar:...I want to watch any hope drain from your eyes... as a spectator. Ehehe. Arsé-kun: Aleister: ... You say, having tormented me several times. Sheepy: Nyar: You haven't learned a thing from this whole adventure, I'm sure. Arsé-kun: Aleister: Make better plans. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, it's not tormenting if it's true Sheepy: Nyar: My dad did, indeed, put Harley in the hospital for a while as mentioned previously! Sheepy: Nyar: So it's just meaningless bullying. Sheepy: Nyar: I really thought you'd be so happy to know he doesn't need you a bit, 'cause he's got everyone here. If you truly love someone, knowing the one you love will be happy and safe after you're gone naturally should be a thing that brings you peace. Arsé-kun: Aleister: What the hell are you talking about? You sound like a children's show hero. Arsé-kun: Aleister: I haven't even gotten to Have him. Why would that help any?? Sheepy: Nyar: Because loving someone means being happy, even if it hurts some, when they have joy outside of you. Basically, you shouldn't need to have him to be satisfied. Just move on. Arsé-kun: Aleister: Of all the people to be lecturing me.. Sheepy: Nyar: That should make you realize just how far you've fallen! Arsé-kun: Aleister: Don't you have innocent people to be mentally scarring? Sheepy: Nyar: You're more important at the moment, 'cause I've got a very personal reason to be here. Sheepy: Nyar: So lemme tell you something important. Sheepy: Nyar: Give up. Move on. Improve your life. Sheepy: Nyar: He will never feel anything but hate for you. Ever. Arsé-kun: Aleister: Ah-ha, but I'll be remembered! Sheepy: Nyar: That's all you care about, hm? Arsé-kun: Aleister: let me have this. Sheepy: Nyar: I could take that from you if I wanted...Hmm... Sheepy: Nyar:...But, nope, I'm too nice. Sheepy: Nyar: Although I suppose if he remembers you, you have power over him... Sheepy: Nyar:........ Sheepy: Nyar: He did seem happier when he didn't remember you. Arsé-kun: Aleister: Do you really think I'm going to believe you? Sheepy: Nyar: As I mentioned, he got shot a while back. Sheepy: Nyar: Amnesia. Presumably temporary neurological issues. You know, the whole nine yards. It's the happiest I've seen him, despite the neurological issues. He was actually improving a lot as a person, almost as if you just entirely slipped his mind. But when you showed up... Man, I wanna do that to someone! Arsé-kun: *Aleister... Is not convinced. Not much of a surprise, since the informer is chaotic evil and a manipulator* Sheepy: Nyar: It's fine if you don't believe me. You will after I'm done, but... Sheepy: Nyar: For now, I guess grasping that last shred of hope is enough. Sheepy: Nyar: Here's something else. It should bring you joy! Sheepy: Nyar: Without you in the picture, he met up with his older brother again. Did you know that Sherlock isn't his only sibling? Sherlock didn't, not after you gave him brain damage. Arsé-kun: Aleister: ... you're doing this on purpose aren't you. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, I think it's important for you to know. Sheepy: Nyar: I know it's my nature to be evil, to be a manipulative jerk, blah blah blah. Sure! Maybe I may be that, but this isn't the time. Sheepy: Nyar: Basically, my point is that... Sheepy: Nyar: Not only is he much better off without you, you're much better off without him. All of the time you've spent chasing the unachievable, the achievable has been right in front of you being neglected. Sheepy: Nyar: You shouldn't keep chasing him. Better yourself. Become the person he'd actually want to associate with, down to the very depths of your heart. Don't try to make him the type of person who would want to associate with you. Sheepy: Nyar: Because in the end...That isn't love. It's just possessiveness. What you saw last nighr with Wilson, that was love. Something that shines through no matter what. Sheepy: Nyar: You understand. Right? Arsé-kun: Aleister: Yes, I do. Now stop talking. Sheepy: Nyar: Why? Arsé-kun: Aleister: How can I rest in peace with your trashy voice ringing in my ears? Sheepy: Nyar: I still need to put you in a coffin before those three show up... Arsé-kun: Aleister: Then do it. Sheepy: Nyar: You don't even wanna know who those three are? Arsé-kun: Aleister: I get the feeling that I'm doomed whether I know or not. Sheepy: Nyar: Okay, well, I wanna see your face, soooo...!! Sheepy: Nyar: #1: Vlad. Sheepy: Nyar: #2: Valvatorez, whoever that is. Arsé-kun: Aleister: I don't know either. heepy: Nyar: #3:....dahdahdahdaaaahhh~! Your brother! Will he show up? Won't he? Who knows! Sheepy: Nyar: I didn't invite your nephew, Omelette, because he's probably eirher at work or with his best bud, Mycroft. Arsé-kun: Aleister: He'll just taunt me and leave. The only threat here is Vlad. Sheepy: Nyar: Eh, I wouldn't say that. Sheepy: Nyar: That second one's a tyrant I've heard. So two threats! Arsé-kun: Aleister: Can't be that bad if I've never heard of him. Sheepy: Nyar: Eheh. If you say so. Okay! *he lifts up Aleister* Arsé-kun: *Aleister doesn't bother fighting him. He's tired, he's sad, he'd like to hand in his villainy card but won't admit it,* Sheepy: *Nyar brings him to the coffin* Arsé-kun: Aleister: dont forget to lower me into the ground so you can let me down one last time. Arsé-kun: Aleister: I said put down, not buried. Sheepy: Nyar: Sure, sure. Sheepy: Val: Hm, hm... This wood is fine...The choice of barbed wire is strange, but I suppose it's meant to be a fashion statement... Arsé-kun: Aleister: ... ..... ........ *and NOW he's worried. Nyar was right, there ARE two Tyrants here! ohhhh no.* Sheepy: Val:...Although this coffin...I feel as though...Hmm, I wouldn't normally go for this color. Arsé-kun: Vlad: Is that really your priority? Sheepy: Val: Hmmm... Of course! Is its appearance not important? Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, I've got the guy who goes inside! Sheepy: Val: This coffin gets a 7/10, especially since I got caught on the barbed wire. Sheepy: Nyar: Gosh, really? Sheepy: Val: It was cozy inside. Sheepy: Nyar: Why would you... Arsé-kun: Vlad: Because he has the brain of a bat. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, no joke... Sheepy: Nyar: Anyway, here we go. *he dunks Aleister inside* You got any last words, old man? Sheepy: Val: Hm....Hmhm! Oh, I see now! Yes, yes, just give me a minute... The materials are all here... Sheepy: Nyar: Not you! Sheepy: Val: Oh, this would be a nice accessory... It would really drive home...*mumbling* Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... ... *he bonks Val with his fist. shush!* Sheepy: Val:? Sheepy: Nyar: Go on. Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... Seems unlikely. Sheepy: Nyar: Great! Moriarty? Arsé-kun: Mori: Sayonara, you piece of trash. Arsé-kun: Aleister: knew it. thanks. Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, nice, I like that. If Harley was here too, he'd share the same sentiments! Sheepy: Nyar: Okay, since you don't wanna be buried alive, but your state is kinda...youch, here's what's gonna happen! Sheepy: Val: I see, you don't consider medical treatment an option. Sheepy: Nyar: Sssshhh. Sheepy: Nyar: Blue, pink, or red? Arsé-kun: Aleister: ... um? Sheepy: Nyar: Wrong, it's white! Sheepy: Val: Oh, yes, I was thinking white..... Sheepy: Val: I guess you like your monocle...Yes, everything looks right. ...Hm. Right, he probably hasn't told you.... Sheepy: Val: I have been called here.... Arsé-kun: Vlad: stop being dramatic. Sheepy: Val: to RE-EDUCATE YOU! Arsé-kun: *vlad sighs* Arsé-kun: *cricket sounds. despite being 10 am. don't ask questions* Sheepy: Val: Simply, you will live within the body of a prinny until you have gained enough good will to finally receive your body once more! Generally it'd be reincarnation, but...Well, that's not important! Sheepy: Val: Do you understand? Arsé-kun: Aleister: What's a prinny? Sheepy: Val: Hahah! Already I see where my work lies! Arsé-kun: Vlad: ... Save it until we get back. Sheepy: Val: A prinny is a soul of a sinner placed within a suit in order- What? Sheepy: Val: Then when do we put him in...? Arsé-kun: Vlad: What did I just say? Sheepy: Val: Hm, considering he’s not dead, should we even be... oh, his body’s so damaged. I understand. This is to help him be in a less painful body until his body recovers, right? Sheepy: Val: Such a merciful thing to do! It brings me to tears!... Well, it would, but it doesn’t. Sheepy: Val: Now then, Mr. Not-So-Dead-Guy-Whose-Name-I’ve-Totally-Forgotten, do you want a hat? Sheepy: Val: Oh, I see now. Sheepy: Val: Everyone’s watching. Are they too shy to come out? Arsé-kun: Vlad: It's likely unnerving with us two being here, along with... Well, having been with the Professor. Sheepy: Val: Why? Sheepy: Val: He left... Sheepy: Val: This Herlock Sholmes man must frighten him. Sheepy: Nyar: Hehehe. Herlock Sholmes... Sheepy: Nyar: Man, good times. Sheepy: Nyar: It’s because of you I’ve got such a great place to live... Sheepy: Nyar: So thanks! You being horrible really did benefit me!... Okay, you aren’t the ONLY reason, but still. Arsé-kun: Aleister: please. please stop speaking. Sheepy: Nyar: Eheheh. Arsé-kun: Vlad: *he closes the coffin for Aleister and shoots Nyar a Look* Would we be about done here? Sheepy: Nyar: Yup. Sheepy: Nyar: Have fun! Arsé-kun: Vlad: Most certainly not. The only one having fun here is Val. Sheepy: Val: Hm... fun? It’s strictly business... Arsé-kun: Vlad: You say. Sheepy: Val: Yes, yes, of course. Sheepy: Val: This is my job as a prinny instructor. Arsé-kun: Vlad: You were critiquing a coffin. Sheepy: Val: Would you not? Arsé-kun: Vlad: There is a time and place for everything. Sheepy: Val: Now’s the time. Arsé-kun: *they are going to be squabbling over this for the next hour.* Sheepy: *good thing to keep them occupied as they go home!* Arsé-kun: *Can't argue with that!* Arsé-kun: Impey: .. Okay, they're gone! Who wants eggs? I bought eggs earlier! Sheepy: Harley: Eggs? Sure. Arsé-kun: Impey: :D Sheepy: Harley: It wouldn’t be too much of an issue? Arsé-kun: Impey: Why would it?? I just asked! Sheepy: Harley: Well... uh, I just thought I should make sure. Arsé-kun: Impey: Don't worry about a thing, bud! Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Impey exits scene whistling* Arsé-kun: *frans phone goes off about 20 seconds later* Arsé-kun: Impey: [text:to Fran] CODE VIK DONT COME DOWN Sheepy: Fran: *he checks it* Sheepy: Fran:...Vik? Like...He's here...? Why stay upstairs? I should go down... Arsé-kun: Impey: [text: to Fran] CODE VAN IN KITCHEN LOL WHOOPS Sheepy: Fran: [text: to Impey] Thank you, Impey. Sheepy: *Harley, meanwhile, is going through the fun experience of typing something up and then deleting everything because he's too nervous to send it. Eventually, he settles on...* Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Hello, Mycroft. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] Good morning. Are you finally going to speak to me? Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] No. Bye. ^·w·^) Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] ...I'm kidding. It's important. Are you busy? Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] ( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴ I'm listening. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I've been pushing you away for a while. I've been cruel. Insensitive. Selfish. It's not enough for me to just start being friendly towards you again as I was after my accident. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] (ノಠ □ಠ)ノ彡( \o°o)\ Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] Well, why would it NOT be?? Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I've been awful towards you. I should apologize and make up for it. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] You can start by apologizing. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕ヮ◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] Right you said this was serious. Ah. I forgive you. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I know this is out of nowhere. It's not something I just came to by myself. I think it's important I tell you about it just in case. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] You forgive me? That makes me happy. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Do you know how Sherlock suffers from the after effects from a nasty head injury? Amnesia, forgetfulness, things like that? Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] Unfortunately, yes. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Last night the culprit of his injury came for me. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] In THAT house?? How many pieces was he in when he left? Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Surprisingly solid. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] ┐('～`)┌ Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] But basically... After what happened to Sherlock and after he began aiming for people close to me, all I could think to do was to try to cut all ties. You know, to keep people safe. It obviously backfired. On top of that... I didn't want to blame myself alone for his injury, for everything. So I convinced myself that if you were there, things would have been different. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] ... I mean, you're half right. It would have, in the way that I'd have coughed on the man and nothing else. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I should've understood that sooner. But instead I hated you for my own incapability and downfalls. I know you've already accepted it, but again, I'm really sorry. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Can I make it up to you somehow? Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] For full forgiveness, you must adhere to the rules of this contract. Section A: It is recommended the guilty party spend more time at the term owner's property. Section B: Come over for lunch, I'm off today. Section C: Punch your neighbor in the face and get me my painting back Is2g I'm not stupid Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I'd like to visit you more often... Can I come over? I can ask him about your painting before I do. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Technically, although I do have a case, I'm off today as well. I'm waiting for something. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] If I visit more often, wouldn't I be intruding without an invitation? Can I really just ask you out of nowhere if I can come over and not look like I want help with something? Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] Yes, no, yes in that order! :Dc Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I'll go ahead and get ready then. (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] ヽ(◕∇◕)ノ Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] Just need to make sure everyone's alright with it after what happened yesterday. ( •́ .̫ •̀ ) Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley] (owo)b Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Mycroft] I may or may not have a habit of disappearing for over a year when something like this happens... (๑•́ ω •̀๑) They'll get mad if they think I'm abandoning them (again) ... (๑ó⌓ò๑) Arsé-kun: Mycroft: [text: to Harley]（；￣д￣） Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Watson] If my client shows up today, you can text me and I'll arrive. (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Harley] Excuse me? And where are you going?? Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Watson] She's a blonde child. She might be a little snobby but be patient. I believe in you. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Harley] That did not answer me. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Watson] Mycroft's. ヽ(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Harley] Oh! That's fine. Sheepy: Harley: [text: to Watson] I wasn't going to text you but I expected you to immediately assume the worst. ╮(─▽─)╭ But glad to have your permission. Sheepy: *Harley gets going!* Sheepy: *...and eventually gets to Mycroft's house!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Before we get to that, today has contained a Miracle™! Van cooked. The kitchen is intact. It is a christmas miracle.* Sheepy: *amazing!* Arsé-kun: *praise him. OK ANYWAY* Sheepy: *Harley knocks on the door.* Arsé-kun: Mycroft: *he opens it* Morning! Sheepy: Harley: Good morning. Sheepy: Harley: I might need to leave at a random time for my client...but that's doubtful. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: If work calls, then that's just how it is. Sheepy: Harley: Yeah, unfortunately so... Sheepy: Harley:...I'm forgetting something... Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Yes, you did. Sheepy: Harley: Hold on a minute, what was it... Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Started with a "P", ended with a "G" and it was mine. Sheepy: Harley:....... Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Don't worry about it. I'll fight your neighbor on it later. Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry. You probably noticed from the dark circles under my eyes but I've barely slept recently. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: It happens. Sheepy: Harley: I'll try to remember when I get home. Sheepy: Harley: I'm the one who should deal with it because he stole from you because of me. Sheepy: Harley: So don't worry about it. I'll figure it out. Sheepy: Harley: I just hope he hasn't sold it already. Sheepy: Harley: I just want to make sure, um... No one has been harassing you, sending you strange messages...You know. Things like that. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Surprisingly not. At least, not that I'm aware of. Sheepy: Harley: I see. Thanks for telling me. Sheepy: Harley:...Whoops, no, this is more like me working than me visiting you... I'm sorry, I never visit people except for work, so this is somewhat new for me. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Then stop talking about work. That's a good first step. *but he moves to let Harley in* Sheepy: Harley: I see... Oh, thank you. *he enters* Arsé-kun: Finis: Gross. You're letting people in. That's how the bugs get in. Sheepy: Harley: I apologize if any bugs came in with me. Arsé-kun: Finis: Fine, but it doesn't excuse the one letting you in. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: :v Sheepy: Harley: ...? Sheepy: Harley: Well, if Mycroft let bugs in, it's because I stood in his doorway too long... Sheepy: Cardia: I think it was meant to be an insult, knowing Finis. Sheepy: Harley:...? Arsé-kun: Finis: It was. Sheepy: Harley: I didn't notice. Arsé-kun: Finis: You look like trash. Sheepy: Harley: I know. Arsé-kun: Finis: Insomnia or trauma? Or were you gambling? Sheepy: Harley: Unfortunately the latest culprit of my case kept me up for multiple days in a row. So, I suppose both insomnia and trauma. Sheepy: Harley: I don't gamble... Arsé-kun: Finis: So you're already better than Mycroft. Good on you. Keep being alive. Sheepy: Harley: Mycroft gambles...? But it's just for fun, no big amounts, right...? Arsé-kun: Finis: .... I want some of whatever you were on. I might stop thinking for ten minutes. Sheepy: Harley: I was on mind control and being broken piece by piece in my dreams. Also caffeine. An unhealthy amount of it. Sheepy: Harley: I wouldn't recommend it. Arsé-kun: Finis: Drink water. Sheepy: Harley: I'll keep that in mind. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Maybe that would be best done now? Sheepy: Harley: Uh, no, it's fine. Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Take a seat, any seat. Sit down n' stay a while. Sheepy: Harley: Thank you. *he sits* Sheepy: Harley: I'm sorry....as I said, I rarely visit anyone for anything other than business, so... what am I supposed to talk about? Arsé-kun: Finis: Politics. Weather. Your kid's grades. Lies perpetuated by the media. The last dog you saw on the way here. Who cares? Sheepy: Cardia: Hobbies, I think. Sheepy: Harley:....? Sheepy: Harley: Kid... Ah, like Wilson, due to the phrase "dog dad". Wilson's incredibly intelligent... But I don't have any grades of his. Arsé-kun: Finis: Show us your dog again Sheepy: Harley:...! Right, I have new pictures of him. Arsé-kun: Finis: ! Sheepy: *Harley begins showing Finis pictures if Wilson on his phone!* Arsé-kun: *Finis melts. Look at that dog! Look at! That dog! It is! So fucking cute! Aaaaaaaaaa!* Sheepy: Cardia: He's named after Watson, right? But he has a mustache... Sheepy: Cardia: Could it be that he actually did have a mustache when you named him? Arsé-kun: Finis: .... Dr. Watson would look his age with a mustache. Sheepy: Cardia: You're right! Maybe he should grow one! Arsé-kun: Finis: He might be taken more seriously as their legal guardian if he didn't look their age. Sheepy: Cardia: Yeah, exactly! I was shocked to learn that. Sheepy: *Harley doesn't seem to be paying any attention to this. Actually, he moreso looks fast asleep... That didn't take very long.* Arsé-kun: *Poor Harley. But he deserves it* Sheepy: Cardia: He fell asleep... Sheepy: Cardia: What do we do? Arsé-kun: Finis: ....Would you like to peruse his phone gallery for more limited-edition dog pictures? Sheepy: Cardia: Sounds like a good idea! Sheepy: Cardia: There's a lot of pictures here. It seems like the Wilson pictures are entirely unsorted, but there's some folders too. Arsé-kun: Finis: I suppose they're sorted in a way... Sheepy: Cardia: "Other Animals", "People", "Cases", "ALEISTER", "Sightseeing"... Arsé-kun: Finis: ... Where do we even start? Sheepy: Cardia: He's a detective, so cases probably means pictures of crime scenes, right? Arsé-kun: Finis: Hard choice. Do we start with Wilson, or do we start with an inevitable gorefest? Hm... Sheepy: Cardia: Well, Wilson is the better of the two, so...leave the best for last! Arsé-kun: Finis: Inevitable gore it is. *he opens the case gallery and scrolls to the waaay bottom* Sheepy: Cardia: ...Huh. Sheepy: Cardia: It's mostly not gore, but there's some nasty things in this. Sheepy: Cardia: Why would anyone want an occupation that consists of this? But both he and Sherlock did too... Hmm, maybe Mycroft would be a detective too if they hadn't been separated...! Arsé-kun: Mycroft: Don't you lump me in with these two. It's far too much action. Sheepy: Cardia: You don't like action? Arsé-kun: Mycroft: I'd much rather have a stable job. Sheepy: Cardia: I guess detectives have to wait for crimes to be committed to stop them. Sheepy: Cardia: So if they arrest all criminals they're out of a job... Arsé-kun: Finis: That's dumb. Sheepy: Cardia: Although, I guess he doesn't have to worry about that, because based on the name of the "ALEISTER" file, he's already on the bad side of Eggs' uncle. Arsé-kun: Finis: Sucks to be him. Sheepy: Cardia: Yeah. Sheepy: Cardia: But being a detective isn't that stable I think. Sheepy: Cardia: You know what job is stable? Arsé-kun: Finis: A stablehand. Sheepy: Cardia: Building homes for horses!...That too!

[sensitivefern]

I met Maugham... but saw him very seldom... though he was always very polite to me. Born in 1874, he got his early education at King’s School, Canterbury, and then studied medicine, but after getting his degree found that practice was distasteful to him, and so took to writing. [...] He was reputed in New York to be a homosexual of the school of Hugh Walpole, and I was thus somewhat shy of his society. [...] Very few of his books save Of Human Bondage and The Moon and Sixpence were worth reading...

[H.L. Mencken]

===

Certain it is, Samson was no mortal. According to various Midrashim, his shoulders were sixty ells broad, and when the spirit of the Lord was upon him, he could step from Zorah to Eshtaol. So strong was he, he could pick up two mountains and rub them together. When he was thirsty, a well of water sprang from his teeth. In the Bible the water springs from the ass’s jaw with which he slew a thousand Philistines – but that was before he met Delilah.

[Deceptions and Myths of the Bible]

===

It is a classic among American diatribes, and should be better known especially among those who think of Walt as a blend of sweetness, light, and sensuality:

...the meanest kind of bawling and blowing office-holders, office-seekers, pimps, malignants, conspirators, murders, fancy men, custom-house clerks, contractors, kept-editors, spaniels well-train’d to carry and fetch, jobbers, infidels, disunionists, terrorists, mail-riflers, slave-catchers, pushers of slavery, creatures of the would-be Presidents, spies, bribers, compromisers, lobbyers, spongers, ruin’d sports, expell’d gamblers, policy-backers, monte-dealers, duellists, carriers of concealed weapons, deaf men, pimpled men, scarr’d inside with vile disease, gaudy outside with gold chains made from the people's money and harlots’ money twisted together; crawling, serpentine men, the lousy combings and born freedom-sellers of the earth. And whence came they?

===

These days, though, there is more to concern the gardener than the efficacy or lack thereof of bone meal as a nutrient or the nuisance value of attracting skunks and dogs: it might just kill you. Bovine spongiform encephalopathy, BSE for short, is a rare, brain-rotting disease thought to be primarily transmitted from the brain tissue of infected cattle. Jim Shields, who enthusiastically grows bulbs as an avocation, explains the risks thusly:

...I would say that there has to be a possibility of contracting BSE through bone meal. The agent is a prion, a rearranged version of a normal body protein. The rearranged form, actually refolded, is then pathogenic. Steam does not inactivate it; and neither, obviously, do digestive enzymes in the gut. Breathing the dust should work even better than eating it if you want to contract the disease. Its manifestation in humans is known as vCJD, or the variant of Creutzfeld-Jacobs Disease. People who want to sell you bone meal and other animal byproducts will vigorously dispute this. There are also people who dispute that we are undergoing global warming. In cases where future personal profits are involved, the value of the opinions offered should be seriously questioned. I have banished all forms of bone meal from my garden, permanently. It is not worth the risk. Even though that risk should be very small, to is not equal to zero. Getting vCJD would be a really unpleasant way to die.

[Bulbs for Garden Habitats]

===

white wood aster | Eurybia divaricata Native to eastern North America... the ray florets are few and widely spaced... found in ‘open, dry to mesic woodlands, forest edges, thickets, clearings, and shady roadsides up to 1700m in elevation’... the fruits are brown achenes, around 4 mm long, topped with a pappus of reddish bristles (sometimes cream-colored bristles)... situate it in partial shade, surrounded by other perennials... attracts butterflies... ‘~ has the rare quality of being able to tolerate drier shade conditions caused by the competing roots of trees and shrubs’... a few cultivars exist – ‘Eastern Star’ (showy flowers), ‘Fiesta’, and ‘Snow-Heron’ (variegation)...

===

Knives Your knife should be a medium size two-bladed affair, of the best quality. Do not get it too large and heavy. You can skin and quarter a deer with an ordinary jackknife. Avoid the "kit" knives. [...] A butcher knife of good make is one of the best and cheapest of sheath knives. The common mistake among amateur hunters is that of buying too heavy a knife with too thick a blade. Unless you expect to indulge in hand to hand conflicts, or cut brush, such a weapon is excessive. I myself have carried for the last seven years a rather thin and broad blade made by the Marble Axe Company on the butcher knife pattern... The fact that I have killed some thirty-four wild boars with it shows that it is not to be despised as a weapon.

[Stewart Edward White, Camp and Trail]

===

❚KentOnline would like to wish our readers a very happy Easter.

Bernie Sanders giving a speech from an ice cream tub has become a meme

This photo of Jeremy Corbyn in a train toilet has become a meme

As the politics turns hard right, the creased face of an elderly Hungarian Jew has become the prime target for resurgent nationalists across the world. George Soros is their essential enemy. If he did not exist, they would have to invent him. As the “George Soros” they credit with supernatural power does not exist, you could say that they have invented him.