#good lord that’s a lot of tags SORRYYYYYY

[sarcasmic-skies]

the plink-plonk of honky tonk piano + the wahhh-wahh-wahhh of honky tonk steel guitar + the bah-bah-ba-daaahhh of honky tonk fiddle + the drawling, lamenting tennessee or texas accents of honky tonk vocals = everything to me

[valscodblog]

"Trick Or Treat!" Simon Riley x Oc

SO IT'S SPOOKY SEASON Y'ALL AND I LOVE ME SOME SPOOKY SEASON FUN SO HERE'S A HALLOWEEN FIC FOR Y'ALL!!

I SUMMON: @needa-sum-luvn @thebunnednun @skauni @staytrueblue (dk if you even want a tag on my fics that dont have price but oh well) @seconds-on-the-clock @writing-with-moss

Warnings: Maybe possibly ooc simon?..I just write him happier that he has a family-okay?!nothing else ,It's just some good ol' fluff bc they have kids here. SUCKY ASS ENDING BC I GOT TIRED AND I HAVN'T SLEPT IN LIKE-TWO DAYS OKAY??? IM SORRYYYYYY :(

"Mom! Get ready! We're all all ready!" James shouted, running into his mother's bedroom. Ruby and Simon were putting on each other's pumpkin heads and Ruby laughed. "We are getting ready, James. Calm down. Trick or treating starts in thirty minuets. We have time, Amor." Simon just chuckled and grabbed his pumpkin head. He put it on himself and smiled when it was on. "Damn...when was the last time i hid my face around the house, Lovie?" directing the question to Ruby, who sighed and shook her head. "Years...and this better be the last time!" "Yes ma'am."

Ruby nodded and said, "Jeez...how do you see out of these?" as she looked around in her pumpkin head. "I dunno, Ma," James said, shrugging. The ten year old then ran out of the room to see if his sisters were ready or not. "HEY! SISSIES! YOU READY-?"

"GET OU', JAMES!" "MUMMY! JAMES DIDN'T KNOCK!"

Oh dear lord....Ruby walked out of her room and sighed. "James..." "I said sorry, mom!" "Okay. Girls, he's said sorry. And are you two ready?" Both the girls nodded. "I'm mike!" "And I'm Sully!"

Simon poked his head into the rooms and his daughters screamed. "MOM-BEHIND YOU!" Ruby laughed and said, "It's your dad, kids. Calm down." Sapphire blinked and then asked, "Is it, Mum?" Ghost took of his mask and said, "Aye, Saphhie. Jus' me." Saphhire giggled and said, "Dad, mum said you were gonna be a ghost!" Simon huffed, "No-I'm the pumpkin king. Mum's the queen of the patch." Ruby rolled her eyes. "Oh, you kiss ass." "You love it." "Mhh, debatable." "How? I gave you three kids-four if you count me knowin' Jay since 'e was a lil' bloke." Ruby sighed softly and said, "Yeah..okay. You win, Mi Amor." and she went over and rubbed his left arm gently. Simon put his pumpkin head back on and said, "Now, if ya lot are ready, lessgo get sum candy, yeah?" and just then Jason waddled in and shouted, "Sugar!" with his hands up. He was in a matching air force costume with his older brother.

James ran over to him and said, "Hats on backwards, dude. Lemme help you, ha ha!" and he grabbed his brother's hat and put it on the right way. Jason laughed and said, "Mate, your fifteen. You should not be this excited over Halloween." James quirked a brow up. "Oh, no? Well too bad, little man. Unlike some of us I want to enjoy my youth." "Oh SHUT IT! Just because i wore ONE pair of air forces!" Daisy shouted, storming out of the room. James laughed and said, "That, Lad, is how you take the piss." Jason laughed too-before Ruby hit them both round the head. "GO! say your sorry, Ninos!"

James ran downstairs shouting out the words, "I'm sorry, Day! Please come out and gimme a hug so ma don't kill me!" Daisy shouted back, "DONT BRING MUM OVER HERE-" James found his sister eating the cupcakes that were meant for her and Sapphire's birthday party. "...If you let me have some of the frosting i won't say anything at all." "Oh, piss off!" "MMMHHH-" "Okay! Okay! Here!" Daisy shoved a cupcake towards him and he took it. "Thanks, sis." "Whatever, James." "Ey-no. That's a big no-no. I'm not James to you, Kid. I'm 'Jamie'." Daisy groaned. "Why are you like this?" "Cuase. I can be. Hey, don't get so worked up, yeah?" "...You sound like Tio Rudy." "Muy bueno. I admire Tio Rudy y Alejandro." "...Yo tambien." "So you do know Spanish?"

Daisy and James froze. Uh oh..."Heyyy, Mum! What brings you here, aye?" "Daisy. Kate. Riley." James paled along with his sister. "It was me, Mom. I told her she could have a few before we left." Ruby looked her son over and said, "Your a bad liar, Son. Never make it in the force like that." James sighed and said, "I don't wanna go into the Air Force, Ma! I wanna go into the SEALs." Ruby shook her head. "Diffrant names, same concept...You kow, I dont-" "Ma. Not now. You were about to give James the beating of his life."

Ruby turned around and saw Sapphire there, holding her dad's hand. He shrugged. "I dunno wot's goin' on but I wanna see," Simon said. Ruby slowly turned around and then she laughed. "Simon, baby...why the fuck-" Simon shut her up by throwing a bag full of fake cobwebs at her. "RUN KIDS-"

and cue the kids running out the back door and into the backyard. "QUICK-THE WOODS!" Jason shouted, running up and tree. James copied and helped the girls up into the thick oak tree's branches. Ruby ran out after her husband and he threw off his pumpkin head but tripped over his untied shoelace. "Fu-" "Gotcha!" Ruby shouted, trapping her husband under him. He took off her pumpkin head and kissed her. "Sorry?" Ruby gave him a once over and then broke out a smile. "...Fine. Your lucky I love you, Amor." "Very lucky otherwise I'd be six feet unda right about now, aye?" "Yeah."

and James gagged. "BLEUGH! Gross, you two! Hey-UNCLE ALEJANDRO!" James shouted, jumping down from his branch. He landed on his butt but recovered quickly and ran over to his uncle. Alejandro was dressed up as Dracula and his husband, Rudy was Frankenstein. "Hols, Tio!" "Eyy, Mi hombre! Que paso?" "Ehh, same old, same old." Ruby walked over and smiled. "Hola, Tio. Thanks for making it down for the girls' birthdays." "Ahh, no problem, Mi Corazon! I love my girls, just as much as they boys, don't worry, Jaunito." James groaned. "Tiooo, it's James, not Juanito!" "Your middle name is Juan, no?" "...damn it, Ma!" "Ale, Mi amor, dont provoke him."

So he talks. "Hello, Rudy," James said, not even looking at him. Rudy sighed. "I tell him one war story and he's salty three years later," Rudy mumbled. James turned and looked at Rudy dead in the eyes. "You betrayed Mi Mama...you think I'm going to forgive that, Pen-" "James Juan Alejandro Riley!" And James shut up. But he still glared at Rudy and Rudy looked at Ruby and asked, "You did for give me, right?" Ruby smiled and said, "Yes I did. There, you heard it James, and that was when I was known as Delta twelve. Long before I was Jewel."

James said, "But Ma, dad says-" "And your father wasn't even thought of, nor heard of, at this time James, so it doesn't matter. Besides! It taught my ass a lesson." James huffed and said, "Fine." Simon walked over and loomed over his son. James felt a shiver go down his spine and his heart picked up pace. "I-I uhm, I mean, yeah okay! It's forgiven!" Rudy looked at Simon and asked, "...Que paso con su esposo, Rubia?" Ruby's eye twitched. "Just because he's called Ghost don't mean you get to-" "Ey. answer me." "...Nada."

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"Trick or treat!" Jason held up his candy bag and Anna filled it, "Your brother's s'cute, Jay!" Anna said as she gave James a small kiss on the cheek-which he wiped off. "An!" James groaned through his teeth. She laughed and said, "Sorry. I'm French! It's custom!" James sighed and said, "It's fine just-my uncles are right there!" "Aww, Okay! Here, take an extra twix." James starred as she put in a party sized twix bar into his candy bag. "...How many kids?" Anna blinked, "Huh?" James grabbed her shoulders and grinned. "I swear im gonna marry you so long as you provide me with chocolate. So how many babies?" Anna blushed and said, "James!" He laughed and kissed her cheek.

"See ya 'round, Love!" Anna huffed, "this is why England and France went to war..." James just waved her goodbye and sped off to the next house. Jason's feet were getting tired and he was wondering where his mom and dad had gone off to. "Jay. Where's mum and pa?" James shrugged as they walked. "I think in the house, why?" "Cos..." "You miss 'em? Wanna find the girls and Rudy and go back?" "Yeah-I'm tired." James nodded. "Oye, Tio Ale! We're done here, bags are full and everything." Alejandro nodded. "To the jeep!"

Jason must've lied when he said he was tired because that boy took off towards the car. "Wha-Hey! You said you were tired, the hell, kid!?" James shouted as he ran after him, his long legs catching up to his brother easily. Jason giggled and touched the car first. "I win!" "No fair, you didn't call the race, boy!" "You didn't call it last time, so-" and Jason stuck out his tongue. James rolled his eyes. "Fine. You get front seat." Alejandro shook his head. "You kids are somthin' else...kinda like your mom and her siblings."

"...Mom has siblings?" Alejandro gulped. "Used to...one sister. and one step brother." "What happened?" "brother died and sister moved away and cut off coms-err connections with us." James sighed. "I miss auntie Reina." "I miss her too." and the Jeep started. They all drove in silence until they reached the house. The girls were on the porch, eating and talking with their friends. They waved to the boys walking up to them. "Party's starting now that your here, guys!"

Alejandro nodded and walked inside to allow the kids to talk. However, James didn't want to talk. After hearing about his aunt again, he felt...odd. Ah, it was his sisters birthdays! This was a worry for another day. He forced a smile onto his face and said, "Race you lot into the house!" and started running. His little sisters caught up fairly quickly, "Where to?" Daisy panted out, just like her father would've. "Kitchen counter-" and off she sped.

Daisy slapped the counted and then stood straight up. "Dang-I'm fast!" she shouted, throwing her arms up happily.

Ruby took a look at her kids and sighed softly, wearing her pumpkin head. "...I dont know what im going to do with you kids." Simon laughed silently and whispered, "Love them until we die?" Ruby shook her head, "Love them even after we die."

[squatlord-draws]

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you guys have been sending some of the sweetest most kindest asks lately & i just want yall to know it is REALLY GOOD .... and it also means its time for another ask dump, so uh

here we mcfuckin go lmao

@youngest-soup said:

I mcfrickin LIVE THIS BLOG OMFG

i mcfrickin LOVE YOU ???

lambkind said:

I checked out your twitter, and "sans cum is more a comfort than anything else, to be quite honest" "its there for me when nothing else is" ...............*shakes your hand while whispering 'what in the fuck, squatlord'*

im just trying to be honest with myself, lamb

im just trying to be true to who i am 

Anonymous said:

Are you ever going to reveal why chara is still possessing frisk as an adult?  

you know what’s funny is that i actually DO have a whole bit of reasoning as to why that is, but i also don’t have a lot of time to do the in depth comics i’ve been planning. so for now i’ll just say... possessed frisk is chara still existing within the game as we currently know it.

Anonymous said:

your content is pure and good you are pure and good - s'anon

this ask is so kind & sweet so i really hope you didn’t just read the ask about how i talk about sans cum a lot on my twitter

@ask-reddeath said:

I don't really understand chara and sans relationship... Are they a couple or just Best buds forever??,  

they hate each other

Anonymous said:

Imagine if someone dumped glitter all over Sans

HE’D FUCKIN DIE, DUDE

Anonymous said:

Why is the dragon maid anime actually REALLY FUCKING GOOD?!?

ITS SO ???? FUCKING GOOD ?????????? KOBAYASHI & THE TIDDIE DRAGON HAVE MADE ME CRY MORE THAN ONCE ???????????????

I REALLY FUCKING LOVE THIS DUMB GOD DAMN GAY ASS DRAGON ANIME ??????

Anonymous said:

I really, really like your style and how different it is from almost anything I see on the web these days in a good way.

thank you !!! i’m so grateful for how my art has developed... it’s really given me a lot of freedom to try a weird kind of way of drawin things. it especially means a lot that people enjoy it.

Anonymous said:

pls more star trek au... but make it at your own pace cause thats best

i’m actually makin a comic! i wont be posting that for a bit tho, so enjoy the many doodles i’ve got queued up lol

@gastersans said:

Thank you for existing!

thank you ... for making me a reality

Anonymous said:

Your undertrek is my meaning of life, thank you

IM REALLY GLAD BECAUSE I LOVE THIS DUMB AU

Anonymous said:

your style reminds me of bradley uppercrust, III

you know the fucked up thing is that he really does look just like chara

Anonymous said:

What's the fanfic that made you feel like garbage cause ,':^)))) I'm all about that

it wasn’t like angst and it isn’t something i’d ever feel comfortable linking to other people. it’s the kind of fanfiction i think would cause other people real emotional harm if they didn’t fully know what the content was. i often can handle kind of awful stories but this one really pushed my boundaries and made me feel a bit sick. it was a chara based story, though, so if you really want you can comb through their AO3 tag and eventually find something like that.

Anonymous said:

whats the max number of chins frisk has had? 

their chin is like one of zeno’s paradoxes, dude

Anonymous said:

Hi sorry if this is over the top but your art is super, super good and I'm always so happy to see it on my dash. Your line weight flows really nicely and the way you proportion people when you're drawing them always balances out in a really nice way. Also your expressions are so so spot on lol (PS all your outfit designs for Chara?? I'm?? in love with them??) I could gush about how much I love your art foreverrrrr sorryyyyyy ur great byeeeee

honestly i could gush forever over this ask because it’s so nice but MOSTLY??? THANK YOU FOR THE KINDNESS?????

Anonymous said:

YOUR ART IS GOOD, and it's only getting better

thank you so so so much !!!!

Anonymous said:

juST SO U KNOW, ur art is liTERALLY one of my faves????? I LOVE all ur expressions, ur style is incredibly interesting and wonderful... im just.... like ur life goals, to have a style so YOU and original and interesting that the second I see it im just -DIES AND YELLS; time to stalk thru squats blog again but ya boi loves that shit-. U the best my dude pal, ty for sharing all ur skill w us!!

it’s such a weird feeling having someone call me life goals when it wasn’t even a week ago i got in trouble for sticking my fingers on the icee tubes to test taste the flavours, but THANK YOU, this ask makes me feel REALLY GOOD, and i FUCKING BELIEVE IN YOU AND SUPPORT YOU, ANON

Anonymous said:

I fucking love you

@rusoderusia said:

I really fucking love your Asriel and Papyrus designs, i think they look great in your style.

that’s really good because i love drawing them, and the best part is that they’re designed the way they are because i was too fucking lazy to look up reference & just goddamn winged it in japanese class

Anonymous said:

idk if youve been told this before but your art is amazing. it's simultaneously beautiful and has just the right amount of bizarre and quirky to be appropriate for shitposting. And yet, when you go serious and deep, you nail that too. like. what the crap. i aspire to do in writing what you're already above and beyond in art. aslkfdgjhdsoihdro

hopefully, some day, i can go serious and deep into the shitposting .... then everyone will TRULY know fear ...................

@basicflakes said:

Still love your frickin art my dude and your twitter is 10/10 best shitlord would recommend

FLAKES U KNOW I MCFRICKIN LOVE YOU

Anonymous said:

where does frisk fit into the undertrek universe?

the comic answers that!

Anonymous said:

Greatings! Can me talk about our lord and savior, Papyrus?

chapter one, genesis: in the beginning........ there was a bepis

Anonymous said:

Squatlord your comics with Sans unsexily dealing with ppl's kink bullshit makes me wheeze bless

sans is simultaneously the most fuckable & most unfuckable character in undertale

it’s like Schrodinger’s Fuckfic 

cutscenelogic said:

Hi! Sorry for the random message, but I just wanted to say that I love how expressive your art is! I also adore how you draw Asriel, it's so cute! Have a great night! 

i LOVE the random message & i’m so happy to hear you like it !! i hope you have a fucking baller life, my dude !!!!!!!

I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE BALLER LIVES, HONESTLY

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