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bladekindeyewear · 1 month ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-09-29

(Previous post - current page 666)

Section 6 is finally here! (And the part at the bottom is gone, possibly never meant to be clickable?!) Time for possibly the last or second-to-last portion of one of my favorite Homestuck storytelling sections so far, let's see if and how this situation ends!

Time to see if it really HAS been a whole eight years before she finishes her therapy like the joke Davepeta left on last time, or if it'll add up to 6 for the whole thing to go with the Hell/purgatory/666 theme, I suppose! *click*

"LATER"

Well, I suppose it isn't going to tell us HOW LONG just yet...

Ooh Davepeta's theme again, it sounds a bit jazzier than usual if I'm not imagining it, like a slight remix!

Gosh she looks so proud and happy! (Even though the next line could easily pull the rug out from under us.) I can't wait to see grown-up Vriska having almost-sort-of resolved her biggest issues! (No change in her sprite when I compare to my earlier screenshots, although that doesn't tell us much about how much time has passed since there was always a good chance she had grown as much as she's going to physically the prior new sprite switchup.)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its b33n a long ass time but were cr33ping up behind the grand finale DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that finale is never gonna s33 it coming

VRISKA: The final 8oss.

Ooh, who is it? I mean, probably herself obviously. But who else could it be? There are possibilities I'm sure but they're not coming to mind easily. I'm reminded very much, the way I have been this entire time, of the conversation in original Homestuck where the retcon-returned Vriska berated her possibly-inverted ghost self, insulting her and shouting her down in a way that was wrong and proved all the ways the version of her who HADN'T survived had grown and the one who HAD survived hadn't. She insisted that being the hero and hiding her self-hatred to go have an Epic Final Story Battle with Lord English was the only way forward for her while everyone else was escaping the bounds of canon to enjoy a life and hopefully true happiness outside the story's confines, and what she'd gone up to before The Plot Point was her reward, consigned to irrelevance again and now WITHIN the Plot Point shown that none of what she'd been pursuing up until now would have ever made her happy, or into a better person. Now she has to finish learning that lesson, or at least get close enough, of what to actually do and what true freedom ("Ultimate Freedom") and happiness is to finally do what's right for her and potentially everyone around her.

I guess that means I expect her to have to "fight" herself, because she's been the enemy this whole time, right? Everyone she's "reconciled" with has been, in effect, the reflection of those people that exists within HER Heart, much like Jake was able to invoke Brain Ghost Dirk. Lines in here in previous sections indicated that she really is "alone", that these people she's talking to are an illusion and really besides her tagalong therapists she's the "only one here", the only one keeping herself here and torturing herself. Because SHE'S always been the one torturing herself, and SHE needs to learn how and when and why NOT TO in order to be the best version of herself. The Jung in Homestuck shows itself again in the form of the shadow, in the lesson of merging to ascend, of accepting yourself and your flaws with a humility that doesn't deny your ability to affect the world around you, to understand how to leave your mark on reality and how you're WORTH doing so, without stamping down the wills of others.

I'm rambling and stalling, let's see what they have for us.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < master hand, your days are fucking numbered

I know this is just a smash reference, but does Vriska think she needs to go at Doc Scratch again? His chess playing with her on the board is sort of some "master hand" shit, I'd think.

VRISKA: More like minutes!

A clock hand joke perhaps?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < finally ready to take that final step

whatisitwhatisitwhatisit :D

VRISKA: I needed a 8reather!

Huh. I didn't think that maybe she had been just, not going back in AT ALL after the Doc Scratch thing and maybe just, resting for a LONG time that's about to be divulged after the first try, or perhaps multiple tries?

Oh wait is that a Breath aspect and freedom pun hint too? You can't always buckle down and go at your responsibilities (Blood) all the time or you'll snap like a rusty chain.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you sure did!

I know I'm stopping like, every line, but... I'm sensing a punchline coming of THE BREATHER'S BEEN X YEARS.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *a tear begins to well up in dps eye behind their shades* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *they f33l like a mom s33ing their freshly pupated charge about to finish their final trials and march off to the subgrubs or maybe a dope ass cave* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *dp wonders will they be safe out there? will she make use of all the lessons theyve learned here?*

Dave and Nepeta as a fusion is never not fun and interesting to listen to.

I don't expect The Plot Point to have "fully cured her" so to speak because not even comprehensive therapy is the full answer to solving your issues, and because we still have a good amount of plot LEFT besides all the attention Vriska is sucking up here of it. But if she leaves The Plot Point having identified her issues, confronted them, and with a true resolution to accept herself AND her flaws and do better out there in the real or quasi-real world, with a bit more of an understanding of how to ACTUALLY strive to be the best version of herself (the answer to the ultimate riddle) and begin honestly trying without much leftover regret, then yeah. That may be all she needs from here. We'll see.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *will she remember to wipe the lid?*

O-of what? The toilet? Huh? >_>"

(Is this a stealthy reference to Vriska being a trans gal in side content as per Toblerone and urinating standing up...?)

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

WAIT WHAT? Was she always here?!? Did I forget a comment about her showing up before? Is she real?? She's a sprite who DIED, isn't she, which would mean that since this isn't a reflection of Vriska's, sprites still HAVE ghosts that went to the Furthest Ring and could be sucked down here?! This is a heck of a random sprites-having-ghosts confirmation!

...I could have sworn that the joke of Fefeta being so talkative but never doing so onscreen was repeated SOMEWHERE in HS^2 since Beyond Canon and my liveblog of it resumed, but I can't freakin' remember where. I think I was just coincidentally talking with a friend about Fefeta's explosion recently on a random subject matter and I'm confusing it with having read/heard SOME mention of her again in the comic. Like from Roxy or something. Roxy might have brought up her past with Fefeta to remind us she existed so she could be dropped again on us in here, or... fuck I'm confused. Someone let me know if we had any clue Fefeta was here or mention of her elsewhere in Beyond Canon, or if her living again had been confirmed elsewhere before this, because my memory could NOT be failing me harder right now.

VRISKA: *The Thief proudly puffs out her chest with her hands on her hips and her 8ack to the sun, looking heroic and 8adass.*

--Okay I know that Vriska HAS roleplayed before, or we've been told enough that she has, but doing so ONSCREEN so shamelessly with Davepeta speaks of a really really strong friendship she'd have to be pretty vulnerable with them to do this, I think. Which is adorable.

Also, her back to the sun, huh? Nah, no need to dig into that.

VRISKA: Ha! You've got nothing to fear. VRISKA: I'm older and wiser now.

And the time it's taken punchline is coming aaany second now...

VRISKA: I want to thank you, too.

AWW! Gosh she's improved SO MUCH to be talking so freely vulnerably; the last time she approached this sort of opening-up was the moirallegiance with Terezi that was always too one-sided because she never intended to listen to her moirail's advice, back in the last stretch of original Homestuck.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < what for DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i barely did shit

HAH! Don't be modest, you kept her (relatively) sane this whole time! Davepeta looks genuinely confused, that's hilarious.

VRISKA: Haha yeah, 8ut I'm glad you were here anyway. VRISKA: You and everyone else! FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

EXACTLY. You all spent X years with her in here just to keep her company!!! That's not nothing, that's a whole fucking ton of something! Even if I get the feeling that The Plot Point was partially a sink of sorts to suck up all the ghosts from the Ghost Rain and keep them from mucking up the place.

But no seriously, was Fefeta here before??? Did I genuinely forget she was? Because I'm finding it hard to believe I hadn't noticed her and the implications a formerly exploded sprite surviving here would have had before.

VRISKA: ........

Yeah I'm apparently with you there. XD Is she running into the same confusion as me? (Or is the fact that there are sort of two half-Nepetas here about to invite a conversation about Heart and the Ultimate Self again?)

VRISKA: So, DP, you're half Nepeta, right?

Oh, it is!!! :D (And Fefeta's just a sprite, or a ghost of one, not a sprite squared and thus automatic Ultimate Self of both Dave AND Nepeta.) We're about to get some Heart aspect to help stick in Vriska's mind to break down the ultimate answers for her and the audience I bet.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah VRISKA: Well, more of a whole Nepeta, along with a whole other dude. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ... yeah? FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383 VRISKA: 8ut Fefeta's also a whole Nepeta!

It feels like Vriska shouldn't be too confused on this, unless she's gotten lucky and subconsciously sensed that there's an answer she needs for herself, here.

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < ...

Just don't explode on us again :p

VRISKA: So like... how does that work?

Vriska, you've met who knows how many alternate copies of literally everyone, right?

Nooooo don't make her Fefetasplode again!

VRISKA: Why are there two Nepetas?

A MEOW SOUND EFFECT AND THEN SHE FADES INTO NOTHING. Dammit!!!

I mean, solid joke, sure, except on the Fefeta lovers, but. Is this a consequence of Davepeta being an Ultimate Nepeta and sucking up any spare nonliving Nepeta air in the room passively when it's pointed out? All of HS^2, plus the Epilogues, had a theme in part of Dirk concentrating his power as an Ultimate Self by taking parts of himself back in from places like Candy where it wasn't convenient to exist to achieve his ultimate (hah) goal, which it was IMPLIED made him more powerful-- and we just saw alt!Calliope lose power when she divided herself and have to spend time meditating to reunite enough of herself to control any sort of Jade body again. (Which again, makes her super vulnerable to being disrupted by a Prince of Heart, by the way, which I have no clue how she can be so arrogant as to dismiss and think she can do this with just her squad.)

(Did I mention that there's a TINY chance that Ultimate Davebot's chosen purpose, in alt!Callie's quest to tie up all the loose ends and bring the plot back together, might be to have him scratch Caliborn's session so that alt!Calliope could properly exist? You know, my old debunked-and-defunct Third Scratch theory, the three scratches on Gamzee's face? Oh shit that post has old broken image links I need to fix too, I'll do that by tonight. It's only a small chance, though. EDIT 20240930: After sleeping on it, it seems even less likely than I thought, actually. Alt!Calliope's ship with Davebot and Aradia on it is headed for Dirk and Rose's new planet-- for Davebot to pull off what I just proposed, he'd normally need to use time travel on Earth C to leap to the distant near-death of its star when the cherubs lived and get an easy route into Caliborn's session. I can't say it 100% rules it out, especially if Davebot might (or might not) be able to rewind his entire ship journey when he's done with it to make a full Spacetime move instead of just Time; and that's given that when they entered the Meat timeline they even started at the Meat version of Earth C anyway, too, which is only really an assumption. But it doesn't seem to add up to alt!Callie's need for Davebot in the confrontation itself, at least.)

Okay back to poor, sweet Fefeta just having vanished under the slightest bit of scrutiny.

VRISKA: ... What the fuck was that? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you just fucking sent dear sw33t precious fefeta to sprite city.

Is that a literal Sprite City like the kingdoms founded on Earth C where Jasprose was hanging out, or a figurative Sprite City as in sprites tend to die?

Does an Ultimate Nepeta's presence here mean that unless avoiding scrutiny (Voidily) they all become part of the present Ultimate Nepeta and can't exist in this space at the same time? Also with the Umineko connection pointed out last time as something this whole sequence is apparently referencing, I know from my partial experience from the series that there's precedent for someone unable to exist and falling apart if their true paradoxical origins are revealed.

VRISKA: ???????? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hahahaha anyway

NO NOT ANYWAY, EXPLAIN

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i was just fucking around earlier but honestly, im actually gonna miss you

Yeah, much like her ghost self from the pre-retcon timeline, this Vriska was likely a lot more gratifying to hang out with. (NO EXPLANATION AT ALL FOR FEFETAFADEOUT, GREAT)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i think im f33ling a goodbye glomp coming on

Yeah, they would. (Sorry for quoting and commenting on basically every irrelevant line it's become ingrained habit already and we've only been back here a few times aaaa)

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < oh yeah sorry

This is too fun a reaction for me not to screenshot, though. Yeah, personal space, Davepeta! Consent of contact!

Ohhhkay I think this is my sign that if I don't stop screencapping and retyping every single line of dialogue I'm never going to get through this final section. Time for more selective quoting and paraphrasing of action!!! (I promise! Kinda!)

VRISKA: Alright fine, one hug 8efore I crush this and I'm outta here.

Daww. :D

I wonder where everyone here is going to go... I don't think Davepeta is going to voluntarily stop existing, but they're pretty hard to pin down.

Yaaaay! :D :D :D

Davepeta you are by NO means allowed to stop existing once the Plot Point is resolved by the way. You can be as plot irrelevant as you want, just don't stop existing.

Oh shit, it's somewhat literal.

One of the eight-balls she compulsively broke, "increasing her bad luck" and leaving things to step on earlier that Kanaya pointed out she could have found her perceived luck returning just by cleaning up. The metaphor that she's been the one putting HERSELF through hell for much of her life, especially ever since she escaped her parent.

VRISKA: I've 8een waiting for this one.

You know who it is?! Is it you?

VRISKA: I have a pretty good feeling I know who's waiting on the other side.

Oh come on, I didn't break the habit of retyping every single line of dialogue at all!!! She's just guessing. Which raises the chance significantly that this might instead be Terezi she has to confront, within herself, to help bring this full circle and decide what she has to do. Everything about their arcs seems to be leading the two of them together again, and not just in their ghost versions, I feel like.

It's just as possible though that when we finally see the message Vriska left Terezi at the end of the epilogues, though, still unseen, that that represents the final word between the Scourge Sisters and these versions of themselves are meant to find their own paths, even though Terezi spent all those years searching the wreckage of the Furthest Ring for her. I can't say for sure.

Okay I'm going to start paraphrasing... pff, Davepeta lampshading the Silent Hill mind prison -ness of this, yeah plenty of works have had this sort of trope and that's certainly a good one (so much as I've heard/read of it anyway).

The quite possibly final goodbye from Vriska to Davepeta! Hope "see you around" remains literal and Davepeta doesn't go to Sprite City </euphemism>.

Wishing her luck!

Black screen, Vriska waits...

A tree fading in in the distance... multiple colors of tree... this feels like Terezi.

VRISKA: Hey!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Is that you?

Ohh fuuuck the touching slow piano music is kicking in. D':

It's time for emotions

VRISKA: I knew it would 8e you!

I can't tell from here if it's her or if it's Ghost (Vriska) but... oh wait. Wait if all the ghosts are here. Could she be confronting, possibly... ACTUAL ghost Vriska with the actual ghost Terezi that reunited with her? That would be a knife-twist she'd learn a lesson from. Clicking further...

VRISKA: You were the one thing missing from this!

D': What a thing to say.

VRISKA: Even if you're just a phantom designed explicitly to torture me, I'mso happy to see-

It's not her like you wanted, is it? And you're the one who picked a path that you thought would lead yourself away from her forever. YOU kicked her away for the sake of your own glory. So maybe it wouldn't be as simple as just seeing her again here and making amends, hm? Let's see.

VRISKA: you...?

Oh this is totally DEFINITELY the ghost (Vriska) that she chewed out in ways that everything she just spent time in The Plot Point showed were completely wrong. The time she REJECTED her inverse shadow self instead of ACCEPTING and merging with all the parts of herself she hated most, showing how and why she was on the path to fighting Lord English and abandoning Terezi instead of finding any sort of true happiness for herself. Let me find the part in Homestuck AND where I talked about it, to link y'all... GOSH without the full text of Homestuck on command-F/control-F it's so much harder to find stuff like "(VRISKA)"...

Yep, "VRISKA" first showed up to see ghost "(VRISKA)" when I wrote this upd8 reaction in June 2015, then went on for the bulk of the conversation over here on my blog, and here in the comic. I explained how she was dressed like a Page, representing her shadow self, her inner Page of Void-- and still on a happier path than the main Vriska who gave HERSELF such an unjustified verbal beatdown for seeming "pathetic". If you want more from back then, look at my posts tagged Vriska from late June 2015.

It completely fits that Vriska would find the disappointment of not having Terezi here, AND simultaneously have to confront herself in this form as the so-called final boss.

Heck... I figured this hell was driven by Vriska's Heart, her ultimate existence across all timelines, but what if (VRISKA) has been having some specific hand in showing the other Vriska how she can finally be happy, like she figured out?

(Anyway that search took like an hour, I'm finally clicking forward now.)

Oh the way the music just STOPS when (Vriska) turns to the camera. THAT'S a sure sign Vriska isn't taking this well. But she's going to be able to figure this one out without any return trips, this time, I'm sure of it. *click*

Oh, THIS music is different from what I expected. Interesting. It's too slow for my mind to figure out if it's a play on Vriska's old walkaround theme.

GOSH SHE'S SO FREAKIN' TINY D':

Clicking... they stare back and forth a bit more...

Aww, Vriska's awkwardly holding her arm. (I'll resist the urge to screenshot absolutely everything.) She may really be catching onto the fact that she has to apologize to herself. Learn from herself-- from ALL of herself. The parts of herself she used to loathe most because she saw her own weakness in them. That's her Jungian Shadow.

And... perhaps it's also in part why we were reminded again of an Ultimate Self's being all of someone just before she dove in.

VRISKA: Alright, fine. VRISKA: Makes sense I'd have to do this eventually.

Yeah, you're smart enough to get it a bit already.

VRISKA: I'm sorry. VRISKA: For all that shit I said to- did to you.

No-- I mean, sure, that's a start, Vriska, but you don't just have to APOLOGIZE to yourself, your shadow, your perceived flaws. You have to ACCEPT yourself. That's more than a quick apology can do.

VRISKA: It was wrong of me to hate you for getting soft. VRISKA: For knowing when to quit.

Holy shit. SHE FUCKING GETS IT. WOW HAS SHE COME SO FAR. This is exactly what we've been saying since nearly a DECADE ago when that argument happened, just like what I said from my upd8 reaction back then to above!

And (Vriska) gives her back an expansive, pained shrug, huh?

VRISKA: HUH???????? What the hell...

Or... wait. No, she couldn't be. That wasn't a shrug was it. Was (Vriska) offering... a HUG?

That's the answer, isn't it? And why we got a Davepeta hug too? That on the inside, when you finally reach a hand out and offer to accept your shadow as an essential-but-not-predominant part of yourself... your shadow is willing to reach back. She was willing to accept Vriska all along if Vriska just tried. But the fear of one's flaws is a horribly hard thing to conquer, to love yourself-- your ENTIRE self-- enough to take that crucial step.

--yeah, that's an offer to hug it out, isn't it? Vriska probably needs a bit to accept that it's really THAT EASY. Because it wasn't. It wasn't easy. Vriska needed to spend ALL those years to really understand enough to do something like this.

And I'm heavily betting that when Vriska and (Vriska) hug, there's a good chance THEY'LL MERGE. Embracing and assimilating the Jungian Shadow, just like the ascent to God-Tier and merging with the dreamself, except this is part of how you become, in a sense-- at least closer to-- your Ultimate Self. Jung-- "while "no one should deny the danger of the descent [...] every descent is followed by an ascent", and assimilation of – rather than possession by – the shadow becomes a possibility." "NANNASPRITE: All the gates do, John. To ascend, each time you must first descend!" Jung-- "We begin to travel [up] through the healing spirals...straight up." Right from the spirograph gates above their houses to their dreamselves and merging to God-Tier, Sburb and Homestuck has been loaded with intentional Jungian psychology references, and this is just the latest instance of the story spelling it out for us.

Anyway, clicking forward. Yeah, Vriska's nervous. She isn't huggy, and this is one of the hardest embraces one can possibly make, whether she realizes it now or not given all the work she's done to get here.

VRISKA: You're asking for too much. VRISKA: You're really going to make me do this? VRISKA: ...

See? It's no wonder this is so hard for her. She was always in the way of herself.

What will you do?

HAH!

Clicking... she hesitates further, of course...

VRISKA: I...

You're so damn close. But that's the reason this is the final 8oss, isn't it? Accepting the shadow is the hardest step. Accepting that she deserves it, that she can deserve to forgive even herself for hurting herself.

VRISKA: I can't.

You can!

And... OH WOW SHE ACTUALLY OLLIES OUTIE?!?!?!??!?!?

It really IS that hard for her to accept herself. I've long covered exactly why it can be the hardest thing of all. Not inverting, but integrating, balancing, accepting ALL of yourself, the good and the bad, your right to make a difference and the importance of recognizing where you may do wrong. Everything Doc Scratch lectured her to fear about herself in part 5.

So she's back at the beach. Clicking...

And that's the end of the upd8. That was... excellent. I loved it.

Seems like we need to wait one more step for her to finally embrace herself. But that's all that's left! Just one more step.

See you next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #Homestuck^2 #upd8 #spoiler #spoilers #Vriska #Light and Void #Terezi #Alt!Calliope

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irisbleufic · 1 year ago

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So, I spent the last 5 days of sitting around with this serious arm injury rereading the very first epic fic series I ever wrote. Although the posting dates on the below chapters are all 18 November 2013, the reality is that these were originally posted as individual stories on LiveJournal throughout the entirety of 2004 and into the spring of 2005. Those were my junior and senior years of college. This series was the last thing I relocated from LJ to AO3, and I was too exhausted to do a proper comb-through for typos and minor formatting issues.

Well, that state of things is no more. I cleaned up all of the editorial issues during this week’s rewatch-the-film-and-reread-my-fic binge. I also changed the names of a few of the chapters (they’re really stories strung together), although not drastically. The chapter called “Clippings” used to be called “Business,” “Spiral” used to be called “You Must Listen to Me Now,” and “Closer to Fine” used to be called “The Middle of Things.”

I had an ask a few days ago along the lines of: What the hell is Toy Soldiers, anyway? On the surface, it’s a 1991 action movie/teen drama. It stars a young Sean Astin and Wil Wheaton as Billy Tepper and Joey Trotta, the central protagonists among the cast of younger characters. At the time I saw it in early 2004, I had only ever seen Sean Astin in The Lord of the Rings. And, incredibly, I didn’t even know who Wil Wheaton was.

That might be one reason I was able to take this film to heart so earnestly (i.e. I completely lacked knowledge of Wesley Crusher, Wheaton’s Star Trek character from around that time who it was traditional to mock, although I still don’t get why). However, the primary reason this film wrecked the back end of my 2004 spring break was that I had watched The Celluloid Closet for the first time only days before watching Toy Soldiers.

I challenge any queer person to watch this documentary (about the Hays Code and the horrible fate met by queer-coded and queer characters in cinema) and this under-appreciated action film back to back and come out of it without feeling devastated and furious about what happens to Billy and Joey. Especially to Joey. And now, in an era of rampant school shootings and hostage situations, Toy Soldiers hits with even more gravity than it did in the 1990s and early 2000s.

These boys are where it started for me. Every every horrific canon media ending that has ever made me furious, every hundreds-of-thousands-of-words long fix-it series I’ve written in the past 19 years, can be traced back to this moment. This string of stories was what I wrote before I ever wrote the likes of Crown of Thorns (Good Omens), Anthology (Pacific Rim), and Delicate, Dangerous, Obsessed (Gotham). Hell, one of my instrumental original characters in CoT appeared for the first time at the end of Book of Hours before I ever thought to use her in a Good Omens context.

This story has meant the world to me even though the fandom around it at the time of writing, and even now, was never more than about 20 people. Most of those people are still with me, the dearest friends I could ever hope to have 💙

Chapter Index for The Series / Book of Hours by irisbleufic

1. Stereotypical (2013-11-18)

2. Persuasion (2013-11-18)

3. Taste Testing (2013-11-18)

4. Leaving a Mark (2013-11-18)

5. Trick or Treat (2013-11-18)

6. Omerta (2013-11-18)

7. Translation (2013-11-18)

8. Sketches (2013-11-18)

9. Falling (2013-11-18)

10. Caught (2013-11-18)

11. What It Takes (2013-11-18)

12. Noteworthy (2013-11-18)

13. These Shadows Have Offended (2013-11-18)

14. Love Never Did Run Smooth (2013-11-18)

15. Within Reason (2013-11-18)

16. Composure (2013-11-18)

17. Clippings (2013-11-18)

18. Without End (2013-11-18)

19. Prologue: Every Hour (2013-11-18)

20. Book of Hours: Part 1 (2013-11-18)

21. Book of Hours: Part 2 (2013-11-18)

22. Flashback: Spiral (2013-11-18)

23. Flashback: Silver (2013-11-18)

24. The Orchids (2013-11-18)

25. Closer to Fine (2013-11-18)

#toy soldiers #fanfiction #wil wheaton #sean astin #good omens #pacific rim #gotham #fandom history #meta #billy tepper x joey trotta

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ajentmm · 3 months ago

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Weave of Fate (CYL6) Refine Theorycraft

I didn't think I was gonna make this blog. I Kind of thought I was done doing these things. But. I started back up and then suddenly. I field inspired to finish it. I really don't think That? These choose your legends heroes absolutely need. They're refined this year, just like last year. They are good, serviceable on average, But, I can see that with so much powercreep that's been happening, these guys need the upgrade to compete with the newest stuff in Summoner Duels. I just kind of wish that we got more refines for older heroes, so that we can catch up to CYL units. And we are just now seeing CYL4 heroes fall off after their refines.

I.S., if I do this blog now, would you promise to give us like 8 new re finds every month? How about just 7 every month? Every month that there isn't a remix, we could have two extra 5-star heroes. I know this would mess up the New Power Banners with colour sharing or even 5 focuses, but like I don’t care.

Anyway, CYL6 heroes were an oddly thematic group. We had two blue haired lords, riding horseback, with magic weapons, and have daddy issues. One having a dead dad, and the other is a dead dad to be. Then there’s two ladies, blessed with godly powers, wearing the outfits originally worn by little girls. With Tiki, the little girl was herself. In Byleth’s case, the god and little girl are the same. Let’s get to it.

Byleth: Sublime Light

Lvl. 40 5 ☆ 39/41/43/26/24 Max Invest 47/49/51/33/31

Inner Wellspring: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). At start of turn, if unit is within 2 spaces of an ally, grants【Null Follow-Up】to unit for 1 turn, and also, if Special cooldown count is at its maximum value, grants Special cooldown count-1. If unit initiates combat or is within 2 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit during combat and if Special triggers before or during combat, grants Special cooldown count-1 after combat.

Divine Pulse - Atk/Spd Catch 4 - Spd Preempt 3 - Spd/Res Hold

Divine Pulse: Boosts damage by 25% of unit's Spd. Reduces damage from foe's next attack by 75%, and unit's next attack deals damage = 20% of unit's Spd. (Resets at end of combat.)

BTW The Max Investment has been bumped up with the Dragon Flower limit increasing. Keep that in mind when reading my old posts.

Brave Byleth is the weakest of the four. Her Special doesn’t deal enough damage nor does it reduce enough damage (enough meaning Brave, Follow-Up, or Potent Follow-Up Attacks), and her Special realise on attack first and following up, using Spd Preempt. Spd Preempt only works on ranged units, and even then, Spd creep made this skill difficult to beat, even when Phantom Spd isn’t factored in. A good solution would be an upgraded Spd Preempt, like~may~be~

Spd Preempt 4: If a skill compares unit's Spd to a foe's or ally's Spd, treats unit's Spd as if granted +7. Inflicts Spd-4 on foe during combat. If unit’s Spd > foe's Spd, grant the following: If unit initiates combat or foe’s Range = 2, reduces damage from foe’s first attacks during combat by 30%. If foe initiates combat and foe’s Range = 2, unit can counterattack before foe's first attack (Excluding when unit's Savior effect triggers.)

Yes, we’re doing Tier 4 Skill Theorycrafts too. This can provide some defensive utility for ranged units, even if they aren’t fighting other Ranged units. It’s basically the same 30% that Guard 4 and other skills provide, but the Phantom Spd will help too. But back to Byleth. Her weapon has Time Pulse 4 built in, so she can have her Divine Pulse precharged, but it can skill be broken by Scowl. With Brave! Female! Robin’s new Creation Pulse, we can see that Special Jumping by 2 is a thing we can inherit now, might as well double dip.

Inner Wellspring: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). At start of turn, if unit is within 2 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd+6, [Null Follow-Up], and “Unit can move to a space adjacent to any ally within 2 spaces” to unit for 1 turn, and also, if Special cooldown count is at its maximum value, grants Special cooldown count-1. If unit initiates combat or is within 2 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit, and also, if unit’s attack can trigger unit’s Special, grant Special cooldown count-1 before unit's first attack during combat. If unit initiates combat or is within 2 spaces of an ally, and also, if Special triggers before or during combat, grants Special cooldown count-1 after combat.

On top of just granting Special Jump as a safety net for Byleth for interrupting Scowl, she is also getting everything from her legendary alt’s Goddess Bearer (Man that skill was bad, can’t wait for the remix to give her allies all of these bonuses). Next we need to increase her damage and damage reduction, and give her more stats, and some self healing to live on enemy phase more.

If unit's HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+X to unit (X = 25% of foe's Atk at start of combat, - 4; min 5, max 14), reduces damage from foe's first attack by 10% of unit’s Spd ("first attack" normally means only the first strike; for effects that grant "unit attacks twice," it means the first and second strikes) and unit's next attack deals damage = total damage reduced (by any source, including other skills; resets at end of combat) and restores 7 HP to unit after combat.

We start with giving her more that +5 to all stats. Getting a scaling off the enemy’s Atk means she will be more powerful against more dangerous foe, even though most of them have on average 50 Atk, meaning +8, but when that 72 Atk foe comes, you will be ready. I’m giving True Damage reduction base on her Spd, then adding it to the true damage of her follow-up attack, of about 6-7, and this is added to reduced damage (and is doubled when facing Brave Attacks) and Special’s increased damage. We’re looking at possibly 20 True Damage, she just needs to survive the counterattack. . . . Hmm. . . she still needs Damage Reduction Piercing. . . and a Scowl effect to not get nuked on the counterattack. . . Damn, this is harder than I thought.

Seliph: Enduring Legacy

Lvl. 40 5 ☆ 40/43/41/37/18 Max Invest 48/51/49/44/25

Holytide Tyrfing: Enables [Canto (2)].

Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). If unit or foe initiates combat after moving to a different space, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit during combat and deals damage = X × 10% of foe's Def (X = number of spaces from start position to end position of whoever initiated combat, max 4; excluding area-of-effect Specials), and also, if unit's HP ≥ 25% at start of combat, unit’s HP > 1, and foe would reduce unit’s HP to 0, unit survives with 1 HP. (Once per combat. Does not stack with non-Special effects that allow unit to survive with 1 HP if foe's attack would reduce HP to 0.)

Luna - Atk/Spd Clash 4 - Lull Spd/Def 3 - Heir to Light

Heir to Light: At start of turn, if unit is within 2 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd+6 and [Null Follow-Up] to unit for 1 turn and unit can move 1 extra space. (That turn only. Does not stack.)

Seliph is still a good sword calvary, with 4 move, Null Follow-Up, Luna based true damage, and his clam to fame, Miricale. The issue is that all of these have counter play that have become more prevalent these two years. [Stall] still exist, but Balwuk is working better. We got skills that increase the amount of Spd need to Follow-Up. We have so much Damage Reduction. And we have Fatal Smoke 4, which specifically disables Mircale like effects, if it’s not from the Special. So, I’m just going to assume that they aren’t going to give him a refine that makes him nullify the nullify. So, let’s go with. . .

Holytide Tyrfing: Enables [Canto (2)]. Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). If unit or foe initiates combat after moving to a different space, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit, reduces the percentage of foe's non-Special "reduce damage by X%" skills by 50% during combat (excluding area-of-effect Specials), and deals damage = X × 10% of foe's Def (X = number of spaces from start position to end position of whoever initiated combat, max 4; excluding area-of-effect Specials), and also, if unit's HP ≥ 25% at start of combat, unit’s HP > 1, and foe would reduce unit’s HP to 0, unit survives with 1 HP. (Once per combat. Does not stack with non-Special effects that allow unit to survive with 1 HP if foe's attack would reduce HP to 0.)

I was going to put Yunaka’s scalable Damage Reduction Piercing here, but I figured just having the 50% DRP is fine.

At start of combat, if unit's HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit, grants bonus to unit's Atk/Spd/Def/Res = 15% of unit's Spd at start of combat, neutralizes effects that inflict "Special cooldown charge -X" on unit during combat, reduces the effect of [Deep Wounds] by 50% during combat, and after combat, restores 10 HP to unit.

So, he now has more stats and Null-Guard. I did add the 10 HP healing after combat, since Mystic Boost 4 was a game changer for Seliph. I also added the 50% [Deep Wounds] stuff from Breath of Life 4, since you weren’t going to replace his C slot with it, Right?

Tiki: Fated Divinity

Lvl. 40 5 ☆ 40/4327/37/41 Max Invest 48/51/34/44/49

Remote Breath: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). Effective against dragon foes. If unit is within 3 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit during combat, unit makes a guaranteed follow-up attack, and also, if unit's attack can trigger their Special, grants Special cooldown count-1 to unit before unit's first attack during combat, and if foe's attack can trigger their Special and unit's Res ≥ foe's Res+5, inflicts Special cooldown count+1 on foe before foe's first attack during combat. (Cannot exceed the foe's maximum Special cooldown.) If foe's Range = 2, calculates damage using the lower of foe's Def or Res.

Glimmer - Atk/Res Finish 4 - New Divinity - Def/Res Menace

New Divinity: At start of combat, if unit's HP ≥ 25%, inflicts Atk/Res-5 on foe during combat, and also, if unit's Res > foe's Res, reduces damage from attacks during combat and from area-of-effect Specials (excluding Røkkr area-of-effect Specials) by percentage = difference between stats × 4 (max 40%). At start of combat, if unit's HP ≥ 40%, foe cannot make a follow-up attack during combat.

If Byleth was the weakest of the bunch, Tiki would be the one who got powercrept the most. She introduced the Scowl effect, which was a better way to prevent foes from attacking with their specials, but requiring a Res Check. She was then robbed of this uniqueness by a bunch of Dragons. Rhea came with inheritable skill Scowl, and Veyle came with a pef Drive version. She also got directly power crept by herself! Twice! Okay, let’s see what we can do.

Remote Breath: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). Effective against dragon foes. If unit is within 3 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit during combat, unit makes a guaranteed follow-up attack, and also, if unit's attack can trigger their Special, grants Special cooldown count-1 to unit before unit's first attack and unit’s follow-up attack during combat, and if foe's attack can trigger their Special and unit's Res ≥ foe's Res+5, inflicts Special cooldown count+1 on foe before foe's first attack, and also, if foe's Range = 2, inflicts additional Special cooldown count+1 on foe before foe's first follow-up attack (Cannot exceed the foe's maximum Special cooldown.) If foe's Range = 2, calculates damage using the lower of foe's Def or Res.

First, to increase Tiki’s dragon fire power more, I gave here Special Jump on her follow-up attack. She may have already been able to trigger Gimmer on the follow-up if the foe attacked, but if the foe can’t counterattack, or Guard is in the way, this can help. Plus, if she wanted to run the new Dragon’s Roar Special from L!m! Alear, she can us Emblem MarMar’s Engage effect to trigger it twice. Second, since Veyle got an upgrade with her Fallen alt that granted Scowl on Follow-Ups, might as well do it for her.

If a skill compares unit's Res to a foe's or ally's Res, treats unit's Res as if granted +7. At start of combat, if unit's HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit, inflict penalty on foe’s Atk/Res = 15% of unit's Res at start of combat, neutralizes foe's bonuses (from skills like Fortify, Rally, etc.) during combat, and restores 7 HP to unit after combat, and also, if unit's Res > foe's Res, reduces damage from foe's first attack by 20% of unit’s Res ("first attack" normally means only the first strike; for effects that grant "unit attacks twice," it means the first and second strikes).

With Phantom Res, an increase of 10 Res, and a penalty of 15% of her Res (6-8), that’s and addition of 24 Res to make the Res check for both her Scowl, Dragon Wall, and her new True Damage Reduction in this refine. I also thrown in a “neutralizes foe’s bonuses”, just cuz. This can all help since her max of 49 and Brave Soren’s new max is 54. It might be overkill with Res creep not being as pronounced as Spd creep, with Dragon Wall 4 not including Phantom Res, but it’s a Brave unit, you gotta make them future proof.

Chrom: Fated Honor

Lvl. 40 5 ☆ 41/42/42/37/17 Max Invest 49/50/50/44/24

A Fate Changed! - Surge Sparrow - S/D Near Trace 3 - Inf. Spd Tactic

A Fate Changed!: Moves target ally to opposite side of unit and grants another action to unit. Grants any [Bonus] active on target ally to unit and Pair Up cohort (if any) for 1 turn and inflicts [Isolation] on unit and Pair Up cohort (if any) through their next action. (Additional action granted and Isolation inflicted once per turn only. Granted bonuses exclude stat bonuses inverted by Panic.)

Finally, there is Chrom. He is the best out of these 4 and that was just because his stat boosters relied on him getting bonuses or penalties and we've gotten so many new bonuses and penalties that really easy to stack up. And there's no cap, fam! Sure, we now are getting units that can remove bonuses, or steals them, but you can pair him up with those stealers. And like, he still has an assist skill that grants him another turn. Wait, that skill is how he can get bonuses that he grants to his allies though the skill Inf. Spd Tactics. Man, what a bad skill, I'm not even gonna make a new version of this. He needs to use up an action to get the bonuses in this kit, and in Summoner Duels, it's the opponent's turn after that. I guess he just needs a way for him to get stat bonuses in combat without needing get them himself.

Geirdriful: Accelerates Special trigger (cooldown count-1). Effective against armored foes. If unit initiates combat or is within 2 spaces of an ally, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+X to unit during combat (X = number of unique [Bonus] and [Penalty] effects active on unit and allies within 2 spaces x 2, + 5; excludes stat bonuses and stat penalties), reduces damage from foe's first attack during combat by 40% ("first attack" normally means only the first strike; for effects that grant "unit attacks twice," it means the first and second strikes), and also, if [Bonus] is active on unit, grants Special cooldown charge +1 per attack (Only highest value applied. Does not stack.) and neutralizes effects that inflict "Special cooldown charge -X" on unit during combat.

So here’s the change. Just like how heroes with Bonus Doubler 4 barrow bonuses from allies can, in case their bonuses are disabled by the foe, Chrom will barrow the [Bonus] and [Penalty] effects from allies, just when in comes to making him a stat ball. In case there is some hero in the future that can just remove [Bonuses] before combat, this will give him an out. But hey, we can still give him bonuses at the start of his turn, right? Another change I made was adding Null-Guard to the additional condition. I figured that there’s already a [Bonus] that makes Special Charge, but there wasn’t one for Tempo. This will let will help him trigger Aether on that second hit.

At start of turn, if unit’s HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Def+6 and “if unit initiates combat, reduces damage from foe's first attack during combat by 40%” to unit and allies within 2 spaces for 1 turn. If a movement Assist skill (like Reposition, Shove, Pivot, etc.) is used by unit or targets unit, grants [Dual Strike] to unit and target ally or unit and targeting ally for 1 turn. At start of combat, if unit's HP ≥ 25%, grants Atk/Spd/Def/Res+5 to unit, and restores 7 HP to unit after combat, and also, if the number of [Bonus] or [Penilty] effects active on unit (excluding stat bonuses) ≥ 4, unit can counterattack regardless of foe's range during combat.

I don’t know which bonus he really needs and would be fair to have, but I when with Bonus Doubler, just for more stats, and Rearmed Lucina’s DR Bonus. This word get him to +12 to all stats. I also improved A Fate Change but giving him an additional [Bonus] that only he and his targeted ally get, DUAL STRIKE! Now he needs to use his skill, get another action, have one ally move close, and then he can get the Brave attack. His ally could get it too. With this, he is getting 2 [Bonus] and 1 [Penelty], He’s getting +20 to all stats, and he get the new effect, Distant Counter. Yep, I’m adding the Prime skill to his kit. Now he can run any A slot while having Prime too.

Overall, I guess I could do refine for CYL6. I just had to put my mind to it.

#fire emblem heroes #fire emblem #game design #theorycrafting #refines #banner refine #CYL6

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islandpcosjourney · 11 months ago

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Hope in the peace of God’s timing

30th December 2023

“My hope’s been that for 7yrs 🤷🏻‍♀️ when do you say enough’s enough & move on leaving that hope behind? Coz I can’t imagine not hoping anymore but hoping every year with nothing changing is tiring. This year I can say something different in that the hope we were given last year by being approved for our first cycle of IVF was proven to be not worth all the hope we placed in it because it was a complete failure. So do we simply put that same hope in a 2nd cycle & most likely be writing exactly the same words next year? Sometimes we have to face the truth of being childless. I’m just not sure when I’ll have the courage to face that truth. So maybe the hope should be that those struggling find peace in whatever their life is during the holidays. It’s just a never ending cycle otherwise. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas in whatever shape or form it takes xxx”

This was my comment, my response to a post on fb showing the above picture. In years gone by, I’d have simply liked it, naively smiling & agreeing, buying into the empty human words rather than those of scripture. What do people out there reading these posts put their hope in? Where do they direct it, if it isn’t towards God? A hope in a fair world where we all get what we want “in the end” or because someone tells you “I just know it’ll work out for you”?

Another year passes without being able to share the happy news that we so want to be able to.

Every time I want to write about my disappointment in my blog, I am reminded that there is so much goodness in my life that shouldn’t be overlooked because of one aspect of our lives that doesn’t feel complete. And so I haven’t written a blog post in months, because it doesn’t feel right to unburden my negative thoughts when I have so much to be thankful for.

But….. What if it’ll never happen? What if we go through 2 more rounds in the ring & all we can report on is more disappointment? What if this hope from God that I hold onto each day, each week, each month and as each year passes doesn’t amount to anything? What then?

I fear the moment where all hope is lost, or will it ever be that I don’t have hope? Presumably that ultimate brick wall would be reaching the menapause 🤷🏻‍♀️ The gospel of Luke, the most-read portion of the Bible at this time of year, teaches us in Chapter 1, before the “Christmas” story unfolds, about how Elizabeth, in her elder years, is granted a miracle with the conception of John the Baptist. This is 6 months before the Angel Gabriel visits her cousin Mary as she learns she is to conceive our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ. All hope is conceived in these two miracles & this hope has reigned in history ever since. That hope continues within me but with that, a part of me is lost, not found. That part of me that allows hope to consume me, the Holy Spirit, keeps telling me to believe in miracles but life experience knocks away at me, reminding me how we don’t always get the miracles we hope for.

It is not for us to decide what we should be granted in life. I have already been given so many miracles/gifts in my life to be so thankful for - none of which I asked for but I am still so grateful for. However, in the life-long assumption & desire that I would become a mum, along-with a promise I believe that was delivered to me 6yrs ago, I am flooded with impatience which is so hard to handle as a Christian. It is so difficult to accept that I should be born with such a yearning need to mother a child yet for that opportunity to be so cruelly tested. I’m not the only one, the Bible teaches us that, but there is a distinct possibility that I will not get to experience that happy ending. Mine will likely be a different story.

The challenge is to continue with a relatively normal life while carrying this never-ending burden that just isn’t possible to switch off from. My Christian beliefs teach me to be happy & content with the life that God has given us; not to want, not to desire, not to expect. In theory that sounds great & very peaceful. In practice, God gifted us with the ability to feel, the ability to desire, the ability to have free-will, to make decisions & choices. These abilities make living a peaceful life very difficult when God has given us the ability to think for ourselves, all while trying to live our lives in the glory of His name.

So how do I carry on with the light of hope flickering from day to day? I will be focusing on my health this year because in the last 3 months, I have not felt right at all. Since IVF in October, essentially I have been abdominally uncomfortable - constantly bloated, in pain most days & my hormones are unusually heightened meaning every normal symptom I’d feel during my cycle is at least 4 times worse than it was pre-IVF. This can be attributed to the hormones I had to inject - the minimal amount of hormones. I was on a short protocol, which means it was the most sensitive approach plus I was on the injections for the shortest amount of time I could possibly have been on. So, to then be spending a quarter of this year feeling so unlike myself in my body, with no good outcome to show for it all because it was a complete failure of a cycle, makes me concerned about doing it again, least of all because next time they plan to put me on a more aggressive protocol 🤷🏻‍♀️ and they still warn us it’ll likely have the same outcome.

I have not been able to work as much as I should normally have this term, letting students down big time. I’ve had 2 bouts of flu, one pretty nastily with a chest infection recently needing antibiotics & steroids, and it still hasn’t completely cleared up. Has my body just decided to give up on life? Hormones causing my immune system to shut down? Have I caused a domino effect of chain reactions leading me back to the ill health I had over 3yrs ago? I better not be going backwards, but I need to now focus on regaining the control I had over my health which started halfway through 2020. Feels like a lifetime ago now but I had good momentum, a clear head because no aspect of it was about TTC, we were in the middle of the adoption process, no focus at all on my fertility. That made it easier, I don’t doubt it for a second. So, should I take that out of the equation now?

When I did that before, consciously back at the end of 2017, I regretted it. It was not my place to take the contraceptive pill to “reduce the dangers of conceiving naturally while being overweight” as my consultant had put it. I accepted years ago that she was scaremongering & meddling with God’s plan. I then saw all medical intervention as bad, spiralled out of control as the grief of losing my Dad took over but regained full control of my health 3yrs later. Since “trusting” in the medical world again, I’ve lost that control over my health & I feel I’m back to square one. It’s so difficult to know what to do for the best.

On one hand, mentally I wouldn’t be content with letting sleeping dogs lie, giving up & accepting our childless lives when the NHS are allowing us to continue on with a 2nd round of ICSI (IVF). I don’t believe God put this option in front of us if he didn’t mean for it to be a consideration. He after-all gave the scientists their abilities. I know some would disagree, saying that it’s Satan teasing & tempting us and that we’ve already fallen down that rabbit hole by having done one round but I challenge anyone to disagree that life, no matter how it started, is not a miracle. In the church I know that illegitimate children were once made to feel ashamed, especially their parents, but that was wrong. All children are children of God. He made them in his image. He made them for a purpose. They are all miracles. If we got that chance to create our little Morrison miracle, even if they started in a petri dish, that’s God’s decision, his making, his creation. God didn’t allow our mini-Morrison embryos to develop in October. The scientists couldn’t analyse why they hadn’t developed. Only God knew & there was a reason why they weren’t meant to survive. A reason for us to feel that pain.

On the other hand, we go into round 2 knowing that physically, my health will be much worse off. So now I need to ensure that I am in the best health I’ve ever been to go into round 2. Our counsellor at the ACU in Ninewells advised us that most women only reach about 75% of their normal-selves again by the time they do another round. At this point in time I don’t even feel 50%, probably more like 25% if I’m brutally honest with myself, so I would love to feel more like 75% or should I aim for higher?

None of this “surviving” that I’ve done this year would’ve been possible without my darling Kevin by my side (the one who keeps me insane & I love him for it) or without having my faith in God. While I believe I’ve always accepted Christ as my Saviour, minus a number of questionable years down south where faith was more of a force of habit & tradition than in my heart (attributed to spending 9yrs without a central denomination or congregation to call “home” no matter where I lived - a big reason I know that having a church in your life is imperative to holding Christ’s teachings & love close to you, within a community, something which I did not have), it was this year that I finally took the plunge to publicly profess my faith in Him. Over the years I thought that I knew Jesus but I did not really KNOW him until I was able to accept that I was one of his flock within our community at Carloway Free Church.

Nearly 6yrs ago, I knew that I was a born-again Christian, for in the moment when I learnt of my Dad’s passing, though there was much pain & sorrow, there was hope, strength & gratefulness for his life. Jesus was in my heart, helping me through every challenge. I just didn’t admit it out aloud, for fear of it changing me, changing my life as I knew it & in a phase of my life where so much else was changing anyway, I couldn’t accept more change and so I left my deepest faith hidden & suppressed to the outside world. I am not ashamed. I believe the Lord was preparing me, for a better moment when I could devote all of my thoughts to Him and fully commit when “His timing was right”. I believe that burying my faithful feelings was, in a way, allowing them to ferment (wine) or prove (bread) - the elements of our communion, to “do this in remembrance of Him” - and at the right moment, they were set free to be what they ought to be; shared with others in Christ & to serve in His glory.

See, this concept of timing, His timing, is not a concept at all. It is a promise. He knows what is best for us & he will ensure that all aspects of our lives are exactly as they should be, at every turn. I know that he has meant for Kevin and I to feel weakness, dread, hopelessness, unstable & out of control. He is teaching us that suffering is a really important aspect of life and faith. He is teaching us patience. Just like in a very gripping film or tv series, when there’s a plot twist you don’t expect right at the end (maybe we like it, maybe we don’t) we are to learn that life is meant to be eventful & unpredictable. But in this rollercoaster ride that He has us on, it can be so hard to trust & believe in His timing because nothing runs smoothly on the journey to wherever He is taking us. The challenge is to find the fun in it all & enjoy the ride, for how much control over the route do we really have?

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be using my Gaelic to work for a faith-based organisation. I trained as a musician & teacher 🤷🏻‍♀️ but God’s timing & plan is everything. I wrote of my transformative summer working with the Scottish Bible Society in my last Hogmanay message. At the time, that felt like a ‘wild card’ job where it just so happened that my skills as a musician with recording experience, my limited knowledge of theology but raw faith as a Christian, my passion for my native language & my summer availability due to Covid lag on my usual endeavours all coincided and I ended up on an amazing adventure where I found a voice for my faith. I believe God sent me on that mission to release my deeply imbedded (to now finish proving & fermenting) love for His word & reignite the Gaelic community with a modern text which reminded them of what they’re about to lose if we don’t act now.

What came from that project was quickly developing & SBS needed someone who spoke Gaelic who could take the ambition forward - that’s where I came in. Just one very normal day in May during my Tesco shop I get a call from Fiona, my boss from the project who had become a friend since then alongwith with Adrian, my now line-manager. The desire SBS had of creating a Gaelic post, a concept which had been mentioned several times in passing since that project, was coming to fruition. Could I spare 15hrs a week to take it on? 😯 I had already expressed an interest when I told them both back in February after the audio launch that if circumstances were different & I lived in Edinburgh again, I’d be delighted to have colleagues like them, so I was in complete shock at being offered a post where I could work remotely & flexibly around my teaching hours. I didn’t need to think about it much, a quick text to Kevin to check he was ok with me taking on another job which was more commitment than my nursery cover hours which I could take/leave during slacker/busier weeks - this was permanent. I of course read the job description & slept on it overnight but I accepted the job the next morning & started in June & have loved every minute of it since. The rest is history as they say.

I have the most wonderful colleagues in a team of around 20 who are all Christians & as a result are just so easy to work alongside because they are naturally wonderful, Godly people. My 6-month performance review was a delightful few hours (who can say they “enjoy” those?!) chatting away to Adrian who is unlocking so much of my potential & teaching me to trust that even though I may not have been “trained” for this post either at uni or anything that’s worth stating on a CV but the word of God has trained me up my whole life to be able to serve Him in this way & what better textbook or career enrichment is that than the Bible itself? I was feeling like an imposter but doing this work is not about having studied theology or even the Gaelic language. My grammatical or even modern spelling skills are so outdated but I can delegate to our volunteers & I am not ashamed to ask for help. I have no idea why God has thrust me into this work, I don’t know where it might lead me or the future of Gaelic worship but I do know that it excites me & I’m able to demonstrate that in my passionate way.

So, in short (or long as this post seems to have become 😂), 2023 has not been the best of years in some respects but in others it has been the greatest because I was gifted another year living on this earth with my husband by my side, my Mum who has been in her 70th year & my brother who keeps my mum insane, looking after her in Edinburgh. We may want aspects of our lives to be different but that which is out of our control is not something to dwell on - I need constant reminding of that, not to worry about what can’t be changed. Choose your battles wisely. Don’t fight what can’t be fought. Give thanks to God regularly, even for what is challenging.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart”

- Proverbs 3 (not just verses 5-6 which seem to be most popular - read the whole chapter)

🥳 Happy new year to you all

Bliadhna Mhath Ùr 🎉

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riverdamien · 2 years ago

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Good Mental Health!

America's Loneliest Era!

(from the Washington Post)

Our Lady of Mary's Month!

Pray the Rosary!

Mental Health Month!

Jesus the Way to the Father

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe[a] in God; believe also in me. 2 In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?[b] 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And you know the way to the place where I am going.”[c] 5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you know me, you will know[d] my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.”

8 Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” 9 Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own, but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, but if you do not, then believe[e] because of the works themselves. 12 Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If in my name you ask me[f] for anything, I will do it. (John 14:1-14 NRSVEU)

Mental Health Awareness Month What it is: May is mental health awareness month, making mental health and suicide prevention bigger topics than ever. #mentalhealthmatters has around 42 billion views on TikTok, and #mentalhealthawareness has racked up 20 billion. Why the conversation is changing: The CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior survey showed that suicidal ideation, especially for teenage girls, is continuing on a concerning trajectory. In 2021, 30% of girls said that they had seriously considered suicide in the past year, and 24% said they had an actual plan to end their life. According to data published by Mental Health America, 16.4% of youth reported experiencing a major depressive episode within the last 12 months. This news comes at a time when adults are feeling so lonely that the US surgeon general has declared loneliness a public health emergency. Stigma around mental health topics appears to be eroding, but that isn’t necessarily leading to better mental health outcomes for teens and for the population at large.

Conversation Starter: What do you think are the biggest contributors to mental health issues for your generation? (Check out our new video series on Mental Health for more help having this conversation!)

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What is good mental health? In his book, Ash Wednesday, J. R. Mabry has the Sheriff say: "If I have learned anything from my mother, Jake, it's there are no good people. There are only people in various stages of being fu. .cked up. Some less, some more."

Good mental health is the ability both to value life and to engage in a life of affirming other people and creatures and value their lives as we do our own, seeing them as independent from us. Good mental health means the ability to behave differently depending upon the circumstances and not expect every thing go our way. Good mental health is our ability to see everyone, regardless of social status, sexual identification, and color, simply as a fellow human being.

"In Christ there is no east or west. in him no pride of birth, the chosen family God has blessed now spans the whole wide earth. For God in Christ has made us one from every land, race, and sexual orientation, has reconciled us through the Son, and met us all with Grace."

We live in America's loneliest era. Our country is so divided, we stay buried in our social media and do not talk to one another, and most importantly listen. Good mental health means to"shelter our souls." For me it means to dwell in Jesus. "Dwelling in Jesus", means to be open to all, to listen, letting them find good mental health, and a "dwelling in whatever their belief in the Higher Power."

Recently a young man came to my place. He was well dressed, and he said don't you remember me, and I said, "Well, I am not sure," "You knew me as "Chaos", who at fifteen had been high on fentanyl and knocked me down, sending me on a two year journey of recovery. He said:

"You simply forgave me, and continued to be my friend...and for the next year you simply listened when I came to your house, even in pain you listened." Through our listening I found a Higher Power in AA." I went home to my parents, and am now in college. I keep a photo of you in my wallet to remind me you care and you listen, never judging."

Listening saves lives, simply listening with out judgment.

The word "dwell" is related to an old English word for "heresy" or "madness". Perhaps it is a sort of insanity to believe that God dwells here, with us.

Or that, somehow, resurrection is an end to our exile, and an invitation to come home to God. If so, the madness is the long-lingering hope of the human race, the dream to dwell. Not only a hope, however it is hard work, this effort to shelter our souls.

To "dwell" means we struggle as a family with all people in finding safety in life, in finding "good mental health".

None of us are "good", but we try as hard as we can and move from the stage of evil ultimately into the fullness of God, the fullness of accepting all as a reflection of Jesus of Nazareth--black, white, brown, blue, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning and all in between. The fullness of good mental health.

In the midst of our fears and uncertainty and old Methodist hymn, one upon which I was raised and one that will be sung at my funeral rings out:

"O God, our help in ages past,

our hope for years to come,

our shelter from the stormy blast,

and our eternal home."

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

--------------------------

Fr. River Damien Sims, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

[email protected]

415-305-2124

River's Creed:

"I write because this is the way I protest".

Ministry on the streets is the way I resist, dong what I can to proclaim the Gospel of Love to every human being with out judgment."

"Now I hand down to you what has been revealed to me: that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures and he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures."

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look-at-the-soul · 2 years ago

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Hi! It's gossip girl❤️❤️ I missed our little messages too! Luckily school isn't too bad right now so I hoping to be able to keep up on here a bit better now! I hope you're doing well!! I got to read so of the stories you've done recently and they've all been brilliant! I especially liked the one you posted yesterday! Make your home in my heart! ❤️ it was so cute! I love how soft Tommy was with her and how he took time to care for her! ❤️❤️ and I also liked the Runway! I haven't seen Anna but I heard it's good! And I loved how you made the story begin!

I've been doing alright! My break was nice and exams went pretty well! My classes this semester are a bit harder though so that's a bit of a challenge though 😂🥲😂

And I think my anxiety is doing a bit better now! I think I may actually try to post something within. Like two weeks maybe!

I know I mentioned I had writers block but you know what😂 I got to go home for this weekend and had to fly. So I was like determined to try and finish at least one of my stories. And not only did I finish both but I've got 20k+ words broken up over about 6 different stories done now😂 One I still need to finish though! I kinda surprised myself too because I was typing stuff on the plane and usually I'm nervous annoy people seeing that stuff. But I lucked out both times and no one was in the seat next to me, which I think helped! 😂And I actually have more ideas I wanna get done by next week too😂 It was actually your little idea about Drabble that helped me get out of it too! So thank you for that! ❤️ Once I remembered that I didn't have to write a super long story it was a bit easier for me to cut down in what wasn't important! I have some bullet point ideas or mini Drabble that I've also almost got done too! There is one idea that I may send an other ask about though! It's something I be been wanting to write because I think I have a really good idea for a line prompt. But there's I'm a little stuck because of some of the TW's that would be included in the story and I'm not sure how'd people react? Idk if that makes sense but I can explain more in the other ask if that's ok!

And yes! Alfie is absolutely a rich character! He's one of my favorites😂 I'm so glad he made it though the series😂

Morpheus is pretty good! It's based of a comic by Neil Gaiman about the the Lord of Dreams (Morpheus)! And it starts off after he's been imprisoned for like 100 years and finally gets free and has to build up his kingdom again! I know it's not the busy summary but it's definitely worth the watch! And the actor who plays Morpheus (Tom Sturrige? I think it's spelled) is also very nice to look at so😂😂 but it's a pretty good show!

And I've heard of Both those movies with Cillian but haven't seen them. I've especially heard people like Breakfast on Pluto! I haven't heard of Virgin River though! What's it about?

And I will say that we have interacted before but again I've kinda been hiding around for the last little bit 😂 And I honestly started the same way as you to, only on anon then I decided to share on thing and people seems to like it so I tried sharing more😂 Then I went into hiding again but you know, I think I might come out of my cave soon😅 And thank you for all your encouragement too! You really have helped me be less nervous about it all!❤️

And I haven't actually seen Sex and the City, but I've heard of that one too! But I get what you mean by being apprehensive to second parts! Sometimes the producers should have just stuck to one😂 but I do know that gossip girl is on HBO if you couldn't find it!

Ohhh and local cafe's are fun! I wish there were some more near me I could go to😂 My college is great but it's not really in a big city where there's lots of cafes😂 We do have a few boba shops that could probably work pretty well though! Does coffee flavored boba count? 😂 And ohh I did see that you were writing for them! I still haven't seen a Quiet Place two yet, but I've seen part of Anna (didn't get to finish it) and I do really enjoy the Nolan Batman's (Cillian is very good at playing the characters who are a little psycho😂) But I can't think of anything specific to see with this right now! If I think of something I'll definitely let you know though!! ❤️

Aside from all the fics I've been trying to catch up on, I have a few mystery novels I want to finish! Most of what I've read though this year had been my textbooks though 😂

And I hope your days have been going alright and will only get better from her on!🥰🥰You're amazing!! Thank you for all your advice! And I'll be sure to send that ask about you opinion on an idea I had after this! ❤️❤️❤️

XoXo Gossip Girl!

Hello gossip girl!!!

How have you been?

I’m glad to hear school is doing alright:) thank you so much! I’ve been writing more and faster (I think hehe) aww thank you! It makes me so happy to know you liked that story! I’m a firmly believer that Tommy would be a sweet man, he just couldn’t leave her there in the pouring rain at night… and she managed to win his heart too. (I might have a second part planned for later) but first I need to finish the ancient request I got a while ago, I think there are 2 more stories in my drafts (gotta hurry up). I’m writing the second part to The Runway!!! And I’m so excited about it 🥰 looove Lenny!

Congratulations on the good grades! Keep the hard work going ☺️ oh but I’m sure you will do it just fine! Trust yourself (best of luck with your classes!)

Remember to take deep breaths, try to think of the things that gives you peace usually (and of course post the stories you’ve been working!), it will be just fine 😉

Oh I think airports are a great source of inspiration, wow! That’s an impressive work, you have been writing a lot! It makes me so happy to hear that! Yeah I don’t like neighbors looking at what you’re doing haha I get so nervous, but you were neighbor’s free so it must’ve helped a lot. Did you keep writing? *eyes*… oh that post helped me too! Like a lot! Sometimes I pressure myself to write something long, over X words but when I read that I was like… wait a minute, some stories can work great as short, a Drabble… 🥰💕 aww you’re welcome! It makes my entire world to know you’ve found some inspiration in my silly posts… my job is done here. We don’t even realize the pressure we put on ourselves sometimes right? Some stories are mean to be short, a mini series, a long series or a one shot, and it’s perfectly fine, what really matters is that we write what we want and enjoy it.

In your other post you mention SA, but I don’t know what it means? And also TW’s? 🙈 also do you want me to post the other message with the ideas for your story? Let me know!… okay the general idea sounds great to me! I just have a few questions to fully understand the plot, which I will share on your next message if you tell me you are okay with me posting it. But to answer your dilemma, I’d say go for it because internally you’ve been thinking about it since the beginning! Don’t doubt yourself on it, whatever path you choose is going to be the right one because it’s part of your original idea 😉😊

Alfie was a great addition to the show! He is so interesting and unique, he has a lot of things to bring to the table…

Oh wow Morpheus sounds interesting 🤔 I will try to see if it’s around the platform I have subscription from, or at least a small video to get an idea of the show, although to tell you the truth? I find it hard to get hooked with another series than peaky, what have they done to me? I want/need 10 more series ahaha (said the frustrated one) 😂 but it would be good to have something else to look at.

Breakfast on Pluto was amazing, I loved his character there (I think they did it way too early tho, he could’ve won an Oscar for it years later, but we know he’s not after that… Virgin River is a small (and perfect) little town full of mountains and rivers and nice people, so Mel is a practitioner nurse,widow and she arrives to start her job at the small clinic, she meets Jack a former soldier and they fall in love, but things aren’t easy so there are a million ups and downs, a pregnant ex, the noisy neighbors, flashbacks from the war… it’s so good!

Wow don’t hide! I love interacting with you on anon messages so I guess it’s the same with your own blog 😉 but whatever makes you feel comfortable! I hope you decide to share more and more,the first one is the hardest, so… we’ll be waiting with open arms when you decide to leave the cave 💖 ah anytime sweetheart! Happy to help :)

Yeah I didn’t watch it either but a friend told me what happened and I was like O.o nope I’m not watching that hehe I mean, they left Samantha out *horror face* they had the audacity *gasp* hahah yeahI think whatever you fancy to drink works ;) what does flavored boba tastes? Ahh you *need* to watch AQP2, I was reluctant at first, but Emmett won my heart over… Anna meh, the general idea was amazing, but I think the movie had something missing? Is it just me? I mean why would they make Anna have a girlfriend and be with Lenny and the other agent…? What’s the point? Yeah living la vida loca, I get it, but (?) did he took her to Hawaii? Did the gf found out Anna cheated? I have a lot of questions haha that’s why I write for him lol and I love the psycho characters too! *high five* Jonathan Crane was great, but one of the best roles for me will always be Anthropoid and the edge of love, (love the war theme).

Oh please share the reading list! I love finding new pieces to read, I have a John Banville novel I bought back in November and I haven’t read it yet… I am too behind some stories (I need to catch up on reading asap..), but it will be around so I try to not pressure myself a lot, sometimes it’s just hard to keep up with everything. Ahah I bet you have! Luckily you will find some time to read novels and fiction during your free time ☺️

Days have been alright thanks, I’m doing my nails old way (Idont want to do gel anymore there are loads of videos saying how much damage it can make on the skin and although I really didn’t use the UV lamp like once a week, I want to protect my skin as much as I can…I’ve been writing a lot, more than usual so I’m trying to maximize the inspiration spree, days have been warmer and I want to see if I can find a friend to go to a concert in June, so wish me luck!

Thank you for your beautiful words 🥺 I am here to chat whenever you need, and to me you’re amazing as well! So brave and I wish you nothing but the best in every aspect of your life, see you around xx

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are-they-all-sims · 2 years ago

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(SimsWeekly magazine article)

VIOLET TALBERT AND HUSBAND AARON WELCOME THEIR SECOND CHILD

Simstagram and SimTube influencer, Violet Talbert, known for her posts and videos discussing her faith and relationship with God, has some exciting news! Talbert, 26, welcomed a second baby girl with her husband, Aaron, 29, last Friday. They have named her Yvie Answer Talbert. Little Yvie, prononuced yee-vee, has one sibling, big sister Zofiya Christina, 6.

Talbert has been open with her struggles of infertility. In a video last year, Talbert said, "Secondary infertility has really been hard. I pray every night and day that we are blessed with another child." The couple has been trying to conceive a second child since the birth of their first over six years ago. Due to their religion, they do not believe in seeking help for infertility beyond basic tests and procedures.

In a statement to SimsWeekly, Violet and Aaron say, "We are so blessed. Yvie is the answer to all our prayers, which is why we named her Yvie Answer. The Lord is so good." Violet later added, "Those years of infertility, I believe, were a message from God to slow down and give all my love to Zofiya. She is so excited to be a big sister now and I will always cherish the time she was my one and only baby girl. We can't wait to be in this new season of life with two littles now. God bless."

You can see a few more pictures below. The couple says they plan to share a birth video on SimTube within the next few weeks.

19.4k likes 912 comments

anonymous who are these people?

Diane K I'm so happy she finally got pregnant! How did she keep it a secret for 9 months?!!!

violet4evah That's amazing!!! Congratulations!! I figured something was up since you guys havent posted any new videos lately and Violet hasn't posted any recent pics of herself

modestwife God is Great!

William H Why am I seeing this article?

Jane P God didn't get you pregnant - sex did!

#sims 4 #simblr #fundie sims #fundie simblr #the sims #followtheflanagans #followthebooths #followthetalberts

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alfredolover119 · 4 years ago

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I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story.

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that.

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee

-18k, teen, major character death

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN.

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham.

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

#zukka #zuko #sokka #angst #zukka angst #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs

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aro-is-gay-af · 4 years ago

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Why do I think Resume will end up with Volturi - an attempt to explain Bella/Renesmee relationship

As within the fandom nobody likes Renee (no wonder why) I'd like to make an attempt at explaining to y'all what's like to have a parent like her (because I've got the same problem) and why this is going to cause problem over the years between Bella and Renesmee. This post will include such things as explaining:

why being in a relationship like this is so tiresome

what kind of effect has it on Bella

why Bella is just the same towards Renesmee as her mother was to her

why Bella and Renessme dynamics as mother/daughter aren't as fantastic

why is it so probable that Renesmee will eventually join the Volturi and what may be her reasons to do so.

1. Someone, who's never been in the kind of relationship that Bella and Renee have, is not going to catch up quickly with the point that I'm making in this post. Why? Because it's hard to imagine yourself being in an abusive or neglectful relationship with a person, who is a close relative of yours. You never want to acknowledge that something is wrong and instead, you're trying to find excuses for the person's abusive behavior. Fandom agrees on the fact, that Renee is, at best, neglectful of Bella, while at worst, she's downright abusive. I agree with both statements and in a moment you'll know why. You also need to know that everything I'll write here is from my experience from being in such a relationship hence it doesn't mean everyone will have the same experiences as myself. Now, why is such a relationship so tiresome and you struggle to find your true self in it? In my case, very similarly to Bella, I became responsible for things I shouldn't be responsible for at a very young age. I didn't have the time to actually be a kid because I needed to handle "adult responsibilities". When you have adults' responsibilities you lose something beyond reclaim. You'll never go back to your childhood and be a child once again. I was forced, not only to handle myself, but also my brother and mother, and our household. I didn't have time to do most things that kids do cause I was taking care of my brother, or my mother, or doing chores, or anything that was supposed to be done by adults, except it wasn't. While all of this made me extremely responsible, it also made me anxious, bitter towards my parents and I suffered from depression for a long time. I read somewhere that Bella is exaggerating and it's normal to help your parents within the house, to have responsibilities. The problem here is that Renee is Bella's responsibility in the same way my mother and brother were mine. You cannot give this up because you're too responsible but it also eats you from the insides. Also, if I remember correctly, Bella says somewhere in the book that she doesn't mind this because that's how things are for a long time. That's exactly what I'm talking about! When such responsibilities are forced on you at a very young age, you accept it and think it is natural. It isn't. Adult are adults, and kids should be kids, not kids forced into adulthood.

2. + 3. When you don't have time to be a child and you're forced into the adult world, there's always going to be some consequences that you cannot foresee prior. To Bella it ended actually sadly - we can see in the book, as well as in the movie, that Renesmee is almost as an accessory to Bella. Sure, Bella dies for her, but what else? Renesmee is described as mature and serious, she doesn't want to do things that kids usually do. Why? Smeyer made her this way, yeah, but apart from that, it's because Bella cannot handle a kid. The idea of full family appeared to her because she never had it herself. And while she admits that she doesn't even want children in Eclipse, suddenly in Breaking Dawn we see her change her mind completely. All she ever wanted was a) Edward and b) to be a vampire. So when she has these two goals achieved, why would she even bother with Renesmee? So Resume is mature enough and growing up quickly to relieve Bella from the burden of maternity.

4. Also, I'm not saying that Bella doesn't love Renesmee. Of course she does. Renesmee, also, loves her dearly. It's the same dynamics as between my and my mother, and between Bella and Renee. Bella loves Renne but needs to take care of her and be the responsible adult™. It also tires her, as she needs to think about how to handle the business in the most effective (and cheapest) way.

I think we can establish by now that love has nothing to do with this. So, because of her childhood and the poor illustrations of how relationships should work, Bella is exactly the same towards Renesmee as Renee (and partially Charlie) was to her. She thinks Renesmee is able to handle herself fine - she's constantly throwing at us proves that Renesmee is mature enough to do almost everything adults do. It's bullshit, of course, but Bella isn't aware of that. It's how she was brought up (or it's rather the lack of bringing her up by responsible adult) and she thinks it's the best way to fulfill parental duties.

As I said earlier, Bella is all smiles because she's got what she wanted - Edward and immortality. Yeah, it's great she has a daughter too, but like... hello, it's Edward and her and they have forever so why to bother with a child. It'll somehow work itself out. I will not ponder here on Edward being a father and how I see his relationship with Renesmee, however, I don't think it's pretty healthy either. Also, I need to add here, that Renesmee at least, has others (I mean other Cullens) who have probably more patience and time to actually raise a child. I think, and it's only a headcanon so take it easy, that Renesmee has excellent relationship with Rosalie. Rose will not treat her as adult - she'll prolong Renesmee's childhood as much as she's able to. She has time, patience, will and all love for her, so I think they're pretty close, and it would be a good, as well as a healthy relationship.

5. The older Renesmee will get, the more she'll be able to understand. Maybe the Cullens (and I hope it would turn out this way) would spare her this "being a premature adult" thing but her relationship with Bella will never be as close as she'd probably wish to. Sometimes, love isn't enough to keep up with the relationship and the shit that's going on around you constantly. One day, Renesmee will go to high school, then to university and then? Who the hell knows. She won't necessarily be with Bella. Sure, she'll be always her daughter, but she's not her property. At some point, Renesmee'll be mature enough to decide whether she wants to stay with her family, or travel, or join another coven. What I think, is that Bella won't be happy about it at all. Right now she has her fairy tale. She sacrificed nothing. She's living the life of her dreams with a man of her utmost desire. She has a child, even though vampires aren't suppose to have ones. What will happen if there will be a crack in her tale? Long, nasty cracks, throughout the wall. This is when I get to the point that Bella has no fucking clue what mess she got herself into (but that's for another post).

6. Holy Grail now. Lord, I'm always making this so long, this was supposed to be brief. Okay. So why do I think Renesmee will end up with the Volturi? A few reasons off the top of my head:

※ at some point Jacob will die and Charlie will die, and she'll now what's grief and how hard it is to go on. Yeah, yeah, I know that Jacob is also immortal right now, but he'll probably be killed while protecting Renesmee or Bella. I always think of their relationship as brother/sister because I cannot stand the imprinting shit Smeyer gave us. Also, I think I don't need to explain Charlie here. Renesmee will be devastated by both of these deaths and she'll have to come to terms with herself eventually. I guarantee you that she'll not be the same after that.

※ relationship with her parents. I briefly explained what I had on my mind when it comes to Bella. Renesmee loves her mother but that doesn't mean they'll have healthy and exemplary relationship. Sure, they can work on that, they have eternity but I think that at one point Renesmee will be fed up with the way how her mother is in love with eternity itself. Her relationship with Edward, as I said, is for another post, however I think with time it can get pretty hard. Could you live with the thought that your own father didn't want you? That he regretted that you exist at all? I don't think so. (Yeah, I'm simplifying, but I need to, so don't hate me for this).

※ Cullen coven can break or partially break. @therealvinelle talked about it here a little bit but that's also what I have in mind. Cullens are fairly young coven, with pretty unknown dynamics as we don't get to know them that much through saga (thanks Smeyer for not dwelling on it further). It isn't said anywhere that they'll last next century, not to think about more time passing.

※ she'll be fed up with constantly living with the humans. Imagine you need to constantly move, go to school/college and abide the rules that you didn't agree on in the first place. At first its great, Renesmee has time and reasources to flourish but she can also do that without anoyone else.

※ she has rampant hunger for knowledge. Where to find more books and more knowledge than in Volterra? Simple as it is.

※ she may not find vegetarian diet... sustainable for her. Remember how she was delighted when she drank first Bella's blood and than human blood in general? I think she can go on for some time on vegetarian diet plus/or human diet (if she was to attend i.e. med school which of course I think she would) but after some time, maybe a century, maybe less and maybe more, she'll eventually come to terms that she enjoyed drinking human blood. That's it. She's half vampire by descent. I don't think she'll be able to resist that much , also because everyone taught her from day one she could have what she asked for in a blink of an eye (remember Esme's spoons?).

AND most important (at least for me)

※ her worldview will completely change after a few/a lot of tragical experiences. Sorry, that's just common knowledge. Life is brutal, people are vicious and ruthless. She'll probably work or go somewhere, where she can see what humans are capable of (both in good and bad ways) and what one can do to achieve their goal. I think she'll go to Volturi to simply find comfort there. They've been alive for three thousand years. They can teach her things Cullen's aren't even aware of. Besides, I think it would be a great political move. We all know Aro wanted to know her so bad. If he would, she'll probably be able to influence him to some extent and spare her loved ones if it'd go that far. That's it! Of course, it's fucking long as hell. Sorry for that. Comment if you wish. I cannot wait if you think the same, similar or if you disagree completely! But no hate, please. Professionals have standards™.

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zl181 · 2 years ago

Text

Comprehensive Biography of Zhang Chao

Zhang Chao (張超; d. Spring 196), was a minor civil official who was the Grand Administrator of Guangling Commandery. He was involved in a rebellion against Cao Cao and committed suicide upon his death.

Ancestry

See the biography of his brother, Zhang Miao, for it.

Early life

Not much is known about his early life. However, at some point, he served as Grand Administrator of Guangling.[1] He was possibly appointed by Dong Zhuo in order to appease civil officials.

Around 189, Zhang Chao recruited Zang Hong. Zang Hong would become Zhang Chao's most valuable advisor.[1] He helped Zhang Chao manage the affairs of the commandery, which had at least 20,000 people (claimed by Zang Hong) and was prosperous.[2]

Around 190, when Dong Zhuo took control of the capital and later killed former Emperor Liu Bian, Zang Hong urged Zhang Chao to take action against Dong Zhuo, stating,

"My liege, you have received grace from the past generations [of the Han Emperors], and you brothers (Zhang Miao) both occupy major commanderies. Now the royal family is in danger and the traitorous minister has not yet been decapitated with his head shown. This is truly the time where the righteous and courageous of the realm will repay the grace [of the empire] and devote their life [to it]. Currently, our commandery borders are still whole, and its officials and people are flourishing and wealthy. If you sound the war drums, you will get 20,000 people; use it to exterminate and purge the nation's traitor, thereby becoming an exemplar for the world, and such righteousness will become the greatest [of all]!"

Zhang Chao was persuaded by Zang Hong and they went west to Chenliu to gauge the opinion of Zhang Miao. Zhang Miao also disliked Dong Zhuo and agreed to join Zhang Chao. They later met at Shence where Zhang Miao asked what type of person Zang Hong was, adding that he was the one actually governing the commandery. Zhang Chao responded,

"Hong's ability and tact in his strategies is superior to mine. I extremely value him; he is an extraordinary scholar within the seas."

Zhang Miao later met Zang Hong and found out that Zhang Chao was right.[2] They soon contributed his troops to the Guandong Coalition, resulting in him losing his post to Zhao Yu.[3] Zhang Chao sent Zang Hong to try to work with Liu Yu in the north, but due to Yuan Shao and Gongsun Zan's conflict, Zang Hong could not advance, and he later reluctantly joined Yuan Shao.[4] After the Guandong Coalition disbanded, Zhang Chao joined his brother.

Around 194, Zhang Chao, along with Chen Gong, Xu Si, and Wang Jie plotted to replace Cao Cao, who was the Governor of Yan Province, with Lü Bu. Zhang Miao also joined them and launched the rebellion. They were initially successful in deposing Cao Cao as Governor of Yan Province, but Cao Cao soon was able to retake his old province within two years.[5] Around Autumn 195, Zhang Miao ordered Zhang Chao to lead their family into Yongqiu and guard it, while he remained with Lü Bu. Cao Cao soon besieged Yongqiu.[6] Zhang Chao told his subordinates that,

"Regarding our current problem, I can only rely on Zang Hong; he will definitely come to save me."

However, one of his subordinates stated that,

"Both the Yuan and Cao are on friendly terms. Hong has been appointed by Shao, and I fear he will not destroy good relations [between Yuan and Cao] by coming here from afar, for that would contradict his fortune and invite disaster."

Zhang Chao replied,

"Ziyuan is a righteous personage of this world. He is someone who will never betray his original [lord]. I fear his power may be restrained, that we will not reach each other, that is all."

Zang Hong did try to convince Yuan Shao to lend him troops, only to be rejected, sealing Zhang Chao's fate.[7][8] The siege lasted about four months, but soon, in early Spring 196, Cao Cao's troops broke into Yongqiu. In response to his defeat, Zhang Chao committed suicide.[9] Cao Cao had Zhang Chao's clan exterminated to the third degree.[6][7][8][9]

References

[1] - 【靈帝末，棄官還家，太守張超請洪為功曹。】《三國志注•卷七》

[2] - 【董卓殺帝，圖危社稷，洪說超曰：「明府歷世受恩，兄弟並據大郡，今王室將危，賊臣未梟，此誠天下義烈報恩効命之秋也。今郡境尚全，吏民殷富，若動枹鼓，可得二萬人，以此誅除國賊，為天下倡先，義之大者也。」超然其言，與洪西至陳留，見兄邈計事。邈亦素有心，會於酸棗，邈謂超曰：「聞弟為郡守，政教威恩不由己出，動任臧洪，洪者何人？」超曰：「洪才略智數優超，超甚愛��，海內奇士也。」邈即引見洪，與語大異之。致之於劉兗州公山、孔豫州公緒，皆與洪親善。】《三國志注•卷七》

[3] - 【廣陵太守張超...同時俱起。】《後漢書•袁紹劉表列傳》

[4] - 【超遣洪詣大司馬劉虞謀，值公孫瓚之難，至河間，遇幽、兾二州交兵，使命不達。】《三國志注•卷七》

[5] - 【興平元年，太祖復征謙，邈弟超，與太祖將陳宮、從事中郎許汜、王楷共謀叛太祖。宮說邈曰：「今雄傑並起，天下分崩，君以千里之衆，當四戰之地，撫劒顧眄，亦足以為人豪，而反制於人，不以鄙乎！今州軍東征，其處空虛，呂布壯士，善戰無前，若權迎之，共牧兖州，觀天下形勢，俟時事之變通，此亦縱橫之一時也。」邈從之。太祖初使宮將兵留屯東郡，遂以其衆東迎布為兖州牧，據濮陽。郡縣皆應，唯鄄城、東阿、范為太祖守。太祖引軍還，與布戰於濮陽，太祖軍不利，相持百餘日。是時歲旱、蟲蝗、少穀，百姓相食，布東屯山陽。二年間，太祖乃盡復收諸城，擊破布於鉅野。布東奔劉備。】《三國志注•卷七》

[6] - 【邈從布，留超將家屬屯雍丘。太祖攻圍數月，屠之，斬超及其家。邈詣袁術請救未至，自為其兵所殺。】《三國志•卷七》

[7] - 【太祖圍張超於雍丘，超言：「唯恃臧洪，當來救吾。」衆人以為袁、曹方睦，而洪為紹所表用，必不敗好招禍，遠來赴此。超曰：「子源，天下義士，終不背本者，但恐見禁制，不相及逮耳。」洪聞之，果徒跣號泣，並勒所領兵，又從紹請兵馬，求欲救超，而紹終不聽許。超遂族滅。】《三國志注•卷七》

[8] - 【時曹操圍張超於雍丘，甚危急。超謂軍吏曰：「今日之事，唯有臧洪必來救我。」或曰：「袁曹方穆，而洪為紹所用，恐不能敗好遠來，違福取禍。」超曰：「子源天下義士，終非背本者也，或見制強力，不相及耳。」洪始聞超圍，及徒跣號泣，並勒所領，將赴其難。自以眾弱，從紹請兵，而紹竟不聽之，超城遂陷，張氏族滅。】《後漢書虞傅蓋臧列傳》

[9] - 【秋八月，圍雍丘。冬十月，天子拜太祖兖州牧。十二月，雍丘潰，超自殺。夷邈三族。邈詣袁術請救，為其衆所殺，兖州平，遂東略陳地。】《三國志注•卷七》

#zhang chao #zhang miao #zang hong #cao cao #yuan shao

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haliyam · 4 years ago

Text

interim (ii)

zeke x reader/oc

summary: You return to Liberio not long after the Warriors arrive home from their failed mission in Paradis and discover that things have changed. (Or they will, and maybe a little more with Zeke than you expect.) [Season 4 and manga spoilers ahead]

AO3 link | Ch 1��| Ch 3

Hi again! I forgot to note in the first chapter that Reader here is 19 years old, while Zeke is 25. (Clearly, before the developments of this story, there was nothing but friendship there.) For the other Warriors, I put Pieck at 19 as well, while Porco is Reiner's age (around 17/18 that year). Marcel would have been the same age as Pieck and Reader in my headcanon. If you're not comfortable with the age difference, I understand.

Also, about university here so you don't get confused this chapter - I lifted the medical school system for Marley from Germany's current system where after a competitive state exam post-high school, students are able to head straight for medical school for a 6-year track followed by specialization.

Reminder that the Reader/OC, default name Lucy, is a cis-female Eldian character with a set background, but please feel free to set the substitution for the Reader to your chosen First Name using the InteractiveFics browser extension if you’re reading through the browser! So that would be: Lucy = Your or your character's First Name. Because reader will have a set background, you'll have a set surname as well.

Chapter 2

You don’t even get a moment to breathe. General List launches into a speech about the nerve of other so-called nations almost as soon as you sit down. Apparently, those in the Mid East peninsula have grown considerably bold over the last few months, with several navy ships withdrawing from the port of Ichakar and transferring, presumably, to Qali - which gives them a better angle from which to attack the mainland if they so wish it. They’ve also fortified their borders—ground troops distributed across the land close to Marley’s newly acquired cities—which is of course the sovereign right of those nations, but it’s blasphemy to the regime’s unending ambition.

You wish they had given you a brief with all this information before the meeting, the kind you have seen Willy and father poring over in their office in the past, but you get the feeling that the general is unloading information on you with the intent to overwhelm.

“On the diplomatic front,” he continues with a hint of mockery, because of course he thinks of such things as futile, “they have been making demands. Asking that we keep to our waters when it is they who have encroached upon ours! The audacity—the delineation clearly states—” He continues to ramble until he is red in the face, but your neutral expression must slip into a wide-eyed look at some point, because he regains his composure with a visible wrinkle of his nose. “This arrogance can only mean one thing.”

He stares at you, and you realize he is expecting you to answer. You feel all eyes at the table on you, the Commander’s especially, and clear your throat. “...Weapons research, Sir?”

“Weapons development, Miss Tybur,” he corrects you. “Advanced and more prolific than we may have considered.”

He pauses, and you can’t help but speak. You can tell Magath knows it because he sits up straighter somehow, and in a moment of rebellion, you refuse to recognize the caution in his posture. “With all due respect, Sir, the… armaments race among the other nations is no secret, and on Eldian labor, no less.”

A fist slamming on the desk causes everyone around it to jump in their seats. “It’s what Eldians deserve!” the general next to List says, so naturally that he might have been born saying it. You blink, the heat of embarrassment and indignation crawling up your neck, but it’s only with List’s raised hand that the man remembers that the white band on your left arm is only for show. He glances away. “Present company excluded, of course.”

With the exception of his hand, List continues as though neither of you ever interrupted him. “And now, to the point. We need further information on the status of this little race. That is where you come in, Miss Tybur. You will use your family’s connections to enter the peninsula with our people - the peninsula and beyond, as the exact lay of their operations lies beyond our ken - and retrieve this information.”

It’s one thing to predict a general’s words and another to be confronted with them. You suppose you were still hoping he wouldn’t say it. “General List, are you saying you want a Tybur to be a spy?”

List glances over at Magath. “They were trained for interrogation, weren’t they?” Your old instructor is barely able to nod before the general recalls to you, “Ah, yes, I read the file. You withstood all but the final test. A failure then, but rather more a fluke, in my opinion. An irreplicable circumstance.”

You don’t say anything. You would rather not remember that night. Or that particular moment.

He takes your silence for agreement. “And so I answer, why not? You became a Warrior candidate - unprecedented initiative and involvement by the Tybur family. Why should this be any different?”

“Because—” Because becoming a Warrior isn’t a choice a child makes of their own free will, not really, but a Tybur doesn’t question the decisions of the former head of the family, of father, before all these strangers. No matter that they were loyal to him. You purse your lips. “Sir, I just don’t believe I’m the right person for this.”

“Your file did say you were always hasty, Miss Tybur,” List says, and you both glance at Magath at that. He doesn’t nod, only meets your gazes. He seems as trapped in this as you are, which makes your resentment for him ebb only slightly. “But you should know better now.”

Now you’re getting irritated. The temper that was your closest companion in your early childhood, and then your early adolescence seizes your fist under the table as List continues. “How goes Foundation operations?”

The Tybur Family Foundation. Set up by Walter Tybur when he first became head of the family and operated by the eponymous Tyburs - most often chaired by the spouse of whoever leads it. Your mother first, once, when she cared to, and now Mila. It provides healthcare and educational opportunities for ‘peoples once oppressed by the Eldian Empire,’ as part of continuing reparations for sins the Tybur family did not commit. Or so they say. Many of its employees now are Eldian, part of Willy’s initiative to improve Eldian relations… but in reality it does little when the Foundation is only a grantmaking organization.

“Well enough, Sir.”

“Is that so? From what I hear, the Foundation is unable to set up even offices in several countries in spite of the family’s stellar international relations.”

“And,” you add carefully, “if they ever catch wind of my close involvement with the regime even after all this time, that will not improve.”

“Clearly, Miss Tybur.” His level gaze shifts to patronizing in all the ways you hate. “But say you become more independent. Distance yourself from the military that leads our fine motherland… Say,” he smiles, “that you make overtures of dissatisfaction with Marley’s cruel expansionist policies and express the utmost sympathy for other nations. Perhaps then they will permit you to expand your operations within their borders.”

Your jaw almost drops at the very suggestion. You’ve always thought, since Willy became Lord Tybur, that only the Tyburs have the power to change the direction of Marley. For obvious reasons, not so obvious to the rest of the world, but also for the heritage you represent. If the Tybur family can be good Eldians, why can they not be only one of many good Eldians? Why not introduce the concept that any Eldian can be good, as any other race of people?

“You…” You rein in your reaction even as your imagination sets off in the direction List has set it—and far more. Especially the part where the Tybur family spreads the good name of Eldians throughout the world. No more ‘special’ treatment, no more interment zones…

No more Warriors.

Maybe. If Marley gets what it wants.

You would allow that? was your question. But the answer, you understand suddenly, is that they would allow perhaps the chance of it, in exchange for Marley’s continued expansion using Eldian bodies on the front lines. A slim chance of sparing Eldian lives for the certainty of losing them. You feel lightheaded just considering it. You want to help, but you are the last person who should hold so many lives in her hands.

Your eyes refocus on General List. A pleased smile brims beneath his well-trimmed beard, like he’s already read your mind. But he can’t know—you’ve shared your thoughts with no one but Willy and Lara, who have been as dismissive as they have been receptive. In other words, as though you’re still the child father sent away thirteen years ago they expect will eventually forget all her questions.

“Does Lord Tybur know about this, Sir?” You eye the intelligence officer not far from List.

List clears his throat. “Not as yet. Lord Tybur might be more receptive to such a scheme were his sister to present it to him herself. We are aware that Lady Tybur chairs the Foundation. Her movements are conservative, but she may agree to a more generous, active Foundation on your word.”

Scheme. That’s what it is, but that isn’t what really catches your attention. Willy and Mila, listening to you? You want to burst into laughter, tell them that they have severely misunderstood the dynamics of the Tybur family. But that intelligence officer is here, which makes you think List is lying.

“Why not ask Lady Tybur to head the operation?”

“Lord Tybur would never allow us to risk his wife,” List laughs. The implication of his words is hardly lost on you, but the general tempers his mockery with a compliment. “And we believe a new, younger face for the Foundation - perhaps one our enemies believe to be foolishly idealistic - will better suit it.”

Foolishly idealistic. Like the sort of person who would agree to this plan. Your face doesn’t fall, but your eyes do - toward the table, the way the fingers of each general drum against the wood. Magath’s hands clasp each other, firm as ever. When you look up to List again, you frown.

“Sir, you know that I’ve returned to Liberio to enter the university’s medical program.”

“Yes, yes, we were quite impressed when we learned of your state exam results, Miss Tybur,” List waves, impatient. He’s been relaxed back against his chair, but now that his certainty is dwindling, he leans forward on the table. “But think. Look at the bigger picture. As a physician you may help a man in need one after the other - years and years down the line. Six years at the shortest, and if you mean to be a specialist, how much longer? But with the Foundation’s resources, and with our backing at that, you will aid hundreds, thousands - and the motherland most importantly. Within the year. Half, if we move quickly.”

You bite your lip. You want it and you don’t. The Tyburs must do something, or else we are nothing were your exact words to Willy before. But the idea of retaking your name when you have only just arrived here nauseates you, and assisting the expansion, the destruction, under the guise of aid more so.

“I… would like time to give this some thought, Sir.”

A sigh seems to echo around the room, but it’s only all the men with you and their exasperation. Only Magath is expressionless as List visibly bites his tongue. He gives the commander a glare for good measure, as though it’s his fault you did not agree at once. “Very well,” he says. “But know that prolonging this will only bring harm to the motherland.”

You only nod. Much as you would like to have it, you have no intention of getting the last word here. You avert your gaze from the Commander when you permit the men to leave the room ahead of you.

It seems like the start of a rather miserable day - you’re practically scheduled to overthink all this some time this week, if not this afternoon - when, once the steady march of power has cleared from the hallway, Pieck meets you as you step out of the conference room.

“Boo.”

Your hand flies over your chest, but it’s a chuckle that comes out of you. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“So I’ve been told.” She peeks into the room behind you right as you close the doors. “The brass did not look pleased.”

You wince. “I gave them no reason to be. I hate to get the Commander in trouble, but...” You trail off. You both know you can’t say much more.

It’s Pieck’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“...Sorry.”

“That’s all right,” she shrugs. “I came here for lunch, not information.”

You doubt she knows the extent of the Tyburs’ relationship with the regime, but you can always trust Pieck to know not to pry. “You know, I remember now why you’re my favorite Warrior.”

“Oh?” Pieck grins. “Not the Boy Wonder?”

“Boy Wonder,” you repeat, the way the two of you always have when that name comes up - with a snicker and definitely with no one else around. You’ll never understand how the brass can say it with such straight faces. “So how about that meal?”

She pinches at the skin of your elbow through your sleeve. “Changing the subject doesn’t work on me, you know.”

You sigh. “Can we please eat first? I’m miserable enough without an empty stomach.”

“I guess some things don’t change.”

“Hey!” You half-scoff, half-laugh. With a wink, Pieck slips her arm around yours, and you start down the hallway in companionable silence.

Or you would, if you didn’t know that you owe her a little more than that. Reaching over to rest your free hand over the arm linked with yours, you look at her. “I’m sorry, Pieck. I really am.”

Pieck waits a moment, and then meets your gaze. She searches yours for the lie, but she already knows it won’t be there. You always were too candid for your own good. With a squeeze at your hand, she nods. “I know. Tell me all about it after that meal. Your treat, right?”

You blink, and then laugh with shaking relief. “Of course.”

You and Pieck fall back into the easy rapport you’ve shared since you became friends more than a decade ago. Contrary to her words, she doesn’t press you for answers as you decide on where to eat in the zone. For old times’ sake, you agree on the sandwich place two blocks from the Yeagers’, and you end up sharing a meal in your bedroom.

Sitting on your bed together, legs dangling over one edge as you nip at your food, you finally work up the courage to speak through your guilt and explain yourself and the past five years—or most of it. And of course Pieck is understanding, which makes you feel even more pathetic. True to form, she picks that up as well and gracefully changes the subject.

You’re the one who brings it back to what still hangs in the air over you when you’ve finished eating. Nothing personal—but though Marcel was the only one with whom you were ever close friends with, Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie were your teammates too. You’d suffered your superiors together during training, and you’d been there for each of their first transformations. For all the experiments too; even their first assault mission.

“What happened?”

Propped up on one elbow, Pieck is lying on her side, legs tucked under her skirt as you set aside your trash. She accepts the glass you hand her from the table, eyes distant. “Zeke hasn’t told you?”

“Zeke won’t look at me unless he absolutely has to. You know how he is.”

Pieck groans. She knows. “He was so irritating after you stopped writing.”

You click your teeth in a wince. “Really?”

“Imagine, Lucy—after you all left, I was stuck with him and Porco. The abandonment issues didn’t just double, they were exponential. Multiply that with the ego and the sarcasm? The Commander was my favorite person those days.”

You laugh in spite of yourself. “I am so sorry, Pieck.”

“You should be,” she grumbles, but the remark is softened with a grin. When you grimace, she braces herself with a deep breath.

She tells you everything, or most of it: that the people of Paradis were shocked to find others alive outside of the walls, what Reiner and Bertholdt and Annie went through the past so many years, how the latter were captured—and exactly what happened to Marcel. She saves that one for last, and though you are infinitely more curious about the world behind the coward king’s walls, you reach for her hand again.

“I’m sorry, Pieck.”

She shakes her head. “You don’t have to make apologies all day, you know.”

“Don’t I?” you grin, embarrassed, teeth gritted even when your feigned mirth starts to droop. The dreamy way she speaks throws others off, but you know Pieck. She’s always been the most pragmatic of the Warriors and so she must feel silly, thinking about what could have been, had Marcel returned. Would a childhood crush have become something more between them if things were different? He had promised his family, and her specifically, that he would come home after saving the world. The thought, the regret for a chance not even yours gone, has a weight settling in your throat too.

You clear it and huff. “Well, it’s a great loss. I think everyone was a little in love with Marcel.”

Pieck glances at you.

“...Except Annie,” you add.

The sudden exemption makes Pieck choke with laughter, with tears not far behind. “Except Annie. Of course.”

You giggle, and both of you pretend not to see each other wiping your own eyes. “You know. Annie was always the toughest among us.” You pause. “Is. She is.” When Pieck’s laughter gives way to somber agreement, you ask, “What about Reiner? What has he said? I know what he’s said, but… two weeks of debriefing… it sounds like a little much.”

“He was there for years,” Pieck shakes her head. “He grew up there, Lucy. He’s… completely different now. Kind of like you.”

“I think that’s giving me a little too much credit.” You haven’t done anything remotely in the way of serving the motherland; not that you begrudge the others that the way you once did. “All I’ve done is see things and get upset. Until I can get my degree, and then until I can get the War Hammer, there’s nothing I can do.”

That’s a lie. There is apparently the Foundation—but the idea of directly assisting the regime in its efforts is something you cannot consider as you are.

“If you do become a doctor, will they let you have the War Hammer?”

You bite your lip. If only for Lara, you’re still bitter about that. “What was it all for otherwise? Though… I guess if I had inherited it then, there’s no way I’d ever be able to come back and see you all except under specific circumstances. Much less be permitted to study.”

Pieck only sighs, reaching for your hand. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t. And when I think about it… a part of me is glad Marcel didn’t have to see all of what Marley has done. What we had to do in Paradis—and I only saw a speck.”

You know what the others did, but Zeke and Pieck’s involvement apart from retrieving your old comrades is still vague.

You squeeze her hand reassuringly, but you can’t help it. “What did you have to do?”

“What we’ve always had to,” she answers with a faint smile. Your friends always had tells when they would rather not say more, and this is unmistakably hers. Given your earlier explanation, you understand why. She intertwines your fingers with gratitude at your silence.

“So,” you start after a while, “how about some dessert before I walk you back to HQ?”

“Sure. I might as well treat myself a little before we have to head out to the mountains again.” At your questioning gaze, she says, “Training with the Panzer Unit. That’s what all the paperwork was for.”

“Gross.”

She chuckles. “That’s exactly what Zeke says.”

Your face falls at the mention of him. Relieved as you are with your progress with Pieck, Zeke is an entirely different ball game. You hate that that’s the phrase you even thought of.

“You know what?” Pieck sits up smacks her hands on her lap. “I’ll treat you, too.”

You perk up. “Really?”

“For a price.”

“...What’s that?”

“Talk to Zeke already. If I come back after a month to your gloomy faces still, I’m going to go crazy.”

“It’s only been a day,” you mutter. “And I’ve tried to apologize to him.”

Pieck gives you a knowing look.

“I did,” you insist helplessly, but you both know that’s probably a lie. In Pieck’s case. You know it is absolutely false: when Zeke came upstairs after dish duty, quietly closing the door to his room, you stepped out of yours and stood outside in the hallway, your hand raised to knock on his door. You just couldn’t do it. You can take Porco’s jabs any day, but last night, the thought of Zeke and his silence, or worse, his caustic cheer, sent you scurrying back to your room.

You sigh. “Fine.”

Amused, Pieck gets to her feet for the opportunity to loom akimbo over you. “Good. And if you start to lose heart, try to remember that six-year old who used to glare at Magath like she had nothing to lose. That girl had guts.”

“You mean the half-dead one who wasn’t allowed dinner and got a Warrior class’s worth of cleanup duty alone, whom you specifically told to get over herself if she didn’t want to actually die a few months into training?”

“Exactly. What is Zeke going to do? Tell you to go to your room without dinner?”

Maybe. You sigh. “Sometimes I don’t like it when you’re right.”

Pieck grins. “And when Zeke gets over himself—maybe he’ll tell you about his brother.”

Your shock would be better illustrated in this moment were you sipping a drink you could spit in her face. “His what?”

“Shh. I don’t think he’s told the Yeagers. I think… he only told Magath because I was there when he discovered it. Still,” she says when your eyes remain wide and expectant, “it’s not my place to say. So talk to him.”

Medicine is one of the few fields for which Eldians are permitted to pursue higher education. It’s only logical—there are only a few non-Eldians who care to treat pig-blooded devils, and the efforts of those who do are wasted on said filth. And so the regime allows the admission of more Eldians than often permitted under quotas for other majors, even if the number does remain small regardless.

After parting ways with Pieck, you find yourself standing in line in some administrative building in the University of Liberio in the midday heat of summer. The line stretches outside because this is the queue for Eldian students wishing to confirm their intention to enroll over a month from now. That’s all—you need only submit a form and pay a fee, and the line for non-Eldians students has long finished—but of course the line has barely moved for your kind.

You’re clutching your envelope and your permit to your chest, which you quickly realize is a terrible idea. Sweat is starting to trickle down the nape of your neck, and you start to fan yourself with the envelope. Talking to the other applicants in line is prohibited - you must be spaced far from one another so as not to make noise and distract students who actually deserve to be here.

It’s ridiculous. You can’t even leave the line because saving spots is prohibited. Something about being fair.

The frustration crawls up your neck in the form of prickling heat, and you feel a headache coming. You fan yourself more vigorously, trying to calm down. It takes a minute, but the background buzz eventually starts to soothe you, and you begin to accept that you can simply return to the Yeagers’ and change as soon as this is over. The glares your line receives from passing students and the guards watching you, ensuring none of you causes a ruckus (as if any Eldian would dare), fade under the memory of your childhood. You withstood it before, with Magath and the other drill instructors screaming in your face. You can ignore a few nasty looks.

With that as a frame of reference, the line is even almost... peaceful. The heat is dry, not humid, there’s no mud, no blisters in your feet, no rucksack weighing you down, and no rifle either.

Only the sudden rustle of paper as it slips from your thumb interrupts that peace.

“No!” you gasp, watching your permit flutter closer to a guard with his back turned.

Just then a hand swoops in to save it - its owner bent forward, dark hair falling over his face until he rights himself, permit in hand, and glances around. You sigh in relief when you spot the band around his arm and wave him over.

He jogs over to you, hand already extended with the permit. “Confirming your slot for the medical school?” he asks, brushing away the bangs that fall over his face. He’s got the slightest stubble around his jaw, which he brushes his fingers over when he notices you looking.

You meet his gaze when you notice you’re looking. “Yeah,” you say, clearing your throat. He smiles at once, as if he can tell you’re embarrassed, but he only casts a glance at the line behind and ahead of you. “It was a lot worse during my time. They had us looping around the gate.”

“Ugh, really?”

He nods, but swallows down his grimace to lick his lips. “I’ve… never seen you around the zone before.”

You blink. Smile a little as you glance around the line. “You know everyone in the zone?”

He opens his mouth to respond with a sheepish grin that makes his eyes twinkle when movement behind him catches your peripheral vision. One of the guards watching the line has noticed him and is stomping his way over. Noticing your alarm, he sticks out a hand. “I’m Kellan, by the way.”

“Lucy. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Lucy,” he repeats, and you’re barely able to shake his hand when the guard yanks him back.

“Damn pig’s blood—!”

“I’m going, sir. Sorry,” says Kellan, ending the apology with his eyes on you even as he winces from the shorter man’s grip. When he’s eventually released, he ducks away and walks off. He glances over his shoulder to wave, but another guard keeps him moving with a shove.

The shorter one glares at you when he’s gone, and though you remember Pieck’s words, you know this isn’t the time or the place.

“Sorry,” you mutter, eyes to the ground as you turn ahead. Once he’s assured of your submission, he leaves too.

The line takes longer than you expect, but you survive the sweltering heat and submit your form just before the offices close. You hurry back to the zone afterward, dropping by the Galliard bakery to call on Mr. and Mrs. Galliard and offer your condolences. They are shocked but overjoyed to see you, and insist that you take your old favorites when they discover that you’ll be dropping in on Mr. Finger afterward.

You don’t stay long, though Mr. Finger is pleased about your choice of future employment. You feel even guiltier at the unspoken regret in his smile, and beg him not to mention it when he tries to thank you for the support the Tybur family has sent the Fingers over the years—the one thing you think Willy has ever done right.

You return to the Yeagers before dark, early enough to help Mrs. Yeager start with dinner. Dr. Yeager is apologetic as always, but you’re able to change the subject by serving the blueberry pie from the Galliards for a mid-meal dessert of sorts, and the dinner table relaxes soon after. Zeke is absent - he still hasn’t come home from work - so you make sure to leave some for him. This time, Mrs. Yeager allows you to take over cleanup, and the couple retires to their bedroom once the conversation fades into a comfortable silence.

You hope to meet Zeke right as he arrives, corner him into talking to you somehow unless he decides to miss dinner himself, but after half an hour of sitting at the dinner table, cleaning anything you might have missed in the kitchen and the dining room, and rearranging anything out of place in the living room, it starts to look like he won’t be coming anytime soon.

That’s fine, you tell yourself. You feel slimy from being out in the sun all afternoon anyway, and you treat yourself to a relaxing bath. Zeke is still away when you return to your room, and the calming warmth of your evening has you yawning. You have no choice but to change into your pajamas.

In truth, you’re a little relieved. Not that you’re particularly answerable to Pieck anyway, at least not until she finishes training with the Panzer Unit, but it won’t be your fault that you and Zeke weren’t able to talk tonight. But just to feel as though you’ve tried your very best, you keep yourself up by starting to write to Lara—and then regret your principle when you hear heavy footsteps outside and a soft click of the door across yours.

The word you’re writing skitters off to the edge of the paper in your surprise. Your heartbeat invades the tense silence of your room, but you manage to take a deep breath, folding your unfinished letter and slipping it under the paperweight on your desk.

Your door is your next obstacle.

Overlapping images of how Zeke will surely reject you race through your mind alongside the words you wish you could say, and you’re able to keep up with about... none of them. You thought that the words would come to you, and maybe they will, but the moment is about to come and you can’t think of a single word to say.

If you have time to worry, you have time to just get over there and do it, you tell yourself. You shake your head, regretting your own harshness, but also nod as you hastily gulp down the glass of water on your bedside table. Those words in mind, you move, switching one door for another. No longer standing nose-to-panel with your bedroom door, you’re doing it with Zeke’s in the hallway instead.

Hand raised to knock, you eye the light peeking out from the gap beneath the door. Knock. Just knock. The worst he can do is turn you away, and you’ll probably want to wriggle under the dirt and cry, but you’ll at least have tried. You owe it to him to try, like you did with Pieck, and you know you’re braver than this. Or you were, once upon a time.

If you’re still the same girl from years ago, you don’t get to find out just yet.

You hear his footsteps coming from the bathroom too late. No, it’s the heat of another and the familiar scent of his soap which alert you to his presence.

That and his voice, still too deep for the older boy you remember. “Aren’t you a little too old to still be knocking on my door at night?”

“Zeke,” you say, trying to pull your heart down from your throat before you turn and meet his flat expression. He’s in pajamas himself, his hair damp. You must not have heard him head for the bathroom you share down the hall. “Hi.”

That’s more than your mind could summon a while ago, but you still want to smack yourself.

His chest rises and falls as he takes a deep breath. His jaw shifts even as his pale eyes stare down at you in the dim light, as if deciding what to do with you... and then he sighs. He’s too tired to be glib tonight. “Can I help you, Lucy?”

Your lips purse with trepidation, but you stand your ground. “Can we talk?”

He pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Looking down at you is clearly work. “I’m listening.”

You hesitate, trying not to make another face. It seems to come naturally with Zeke around, but you resist the urge, and instead tilt your head to the side. There is no light coming from the master bedroom down the length of the hallway. When you glance back up at Zeke, you give him a pointed look.

Zeke sighs again, and then… decides to just brush past you to grab his doorknob.

Your stomach twists with both disappointment and pique. “Zeke,” you whisper furiously, barely just stomping your foot.

He whips his head to face you, halfway inside already. “What?” he whispers back, like you’re nagging him. Then he rolls his eyes, swinging his door wide open and backing into it to give you room.

“Get in.”

Sorry for the dearth of Zeke moments this chapter, but the next one will mooostly feature him and yes we'll finally find out why Zeke is upset. I used to write very long chapters with fics, but that really exhausted me so I'm trying to write shorter now to keep myself from burning out. But I'm enjoying writing in 2nd person! I never used to do it because it was frowned upon long ago, and possibly still is now? But idc anymore it's fun to try.

Thank you for reading!

#zeke x reader #zeke x oc #zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager x oc #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke jaeger x oc #aot #snk #aot fic #aot fanfic #haliyam #interim #snk fanfiction #aot fanfiction #zeke yeager #zeke jaeger #snk fanfic

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dayseternal-blog · 4 years ago

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Bunny-Hoodlum's eblogs of your posts actually got me wondering: what's your top 5 fanfic?

TUMBLR DESERVES TO KNOW, DAYS

HMMM!!

After thinking about this ask for probably too long, I think I have different Top 5s, like within different categories. And like bunny, my faves are influenced a lot by who was writing when I first entered the NaruHina fanfiction world because they made the most impact on me in developing my own style.

I’m sorry, this is super long, like, I have a problem.

🙌🏼My Top 5: Best Characterization, Plot, & World🙌🏼

All of the following just set the bar really high when it comes to creating a living, breathing main character. The storylines are daring and fresh. Side characters are treated with careful attention. Each chapter brings something important and new. There are no wasted words. The world the characters live in is vibrant and necessary. Basically, these stories deliver in a way that I could never hope to even try to emulate.

Btw, these all have a strong or healthy dose of AnNGgSssT.

💯 “Tainted and Possessed” by cafrye017 - Demons/Angels AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated E for a lot of things. Adventure, Drama, Action, Eventual Romance. - Naruto, enslaved by the Sanctified for his Forsaken blood all his life, learns that he holds a power great enough to one day change the system, but he’s not on this journey alone.

💯 “Common Side Effects” by @katarinahime & “Medicated” by @szajnie - Crime/Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated E for a lot of things. Drama, Action, Romance. - Naruto and Hinata, in a struggling relationship, must confront the pain inside before they can love each other.

💯 “Powerless” by @bunny-hoodlum - Mystery/Crime Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated E for a lot of things. Drama, Action, Eventual Romance. - His family’s past can’t be taken at face-value, and it comes clawing back to hurt him in ways that are out of his control. DELETED FIC.

💯 “A Place in the Sun” by ihaveastorminme - Canon-Divergent AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete Forever. Rated E. Action, Romance. - Naruto realizes that he’s not enough to love her. He’s not enough to save her, either.

💯 “Stolen Beginnings” by @utsus - Mystery/Crime Modern AU. Long One-Shot/Incomplete. Rated M. Drama, Action, Eventual Romance (?). - Naruto always covers his tracks, not realizing he’s leading Hinata down the wrong trail.

Yeah. Those five are the strongest I’ve ever read in technical composition. The characters have depth, the plot is gripping, and the setting is alive.

❤️My Top 5: I Just Love Them So Much❤️

These next five are ones I’ve reread and practically studied! I’ve taken pieces of these stories and pocketed them as essential to how I write characters, scene transitions, descriptions of smut, emotions of falling in love, etc.! If these writers have ever read my stuff, they’ll be like, hey 😠 is she copying me?😠. And the answer is, yes 🙇🏻‍♀️, yes I am 🙇🏻‍♀️.

These 5 stories align best with what I personally like, so basically, these are all the foundations of how I attempt to write:

💖 “Unless the World Were to End” & its successor “21 Days” by @bunny-hoodlum - Modern AU. One-Shot & Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated E for smutttt. Drama, Romance. - Anonymous internet buddies decide to meet up IRL and give each other their first times.

💖 “Serenity Prayer” by @katarinahime - Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated E for a lot of things. Drama, Romance. - When their fairytale endings smash to ugly pieces, Hinata and Naruto help put each other back together.

💖 “Love and Water” by nineetaaaillled - Canon-Divergent AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated E for smut. Drama, Romance. - The hardest part isn’t acknowledging that he’s in love, it’s believing that he can be loved.

💖 “Made in Heights” by @utsus - Spy AU. Long One-Shot/Incomplete. Rated E for smut. Drama, Action, Romance. - Hinata is definitely skilled enough to infiltrate the highly secured Uchiha party and steal sensitive intel that will save lives. It’s just a matter of making it out alive.

💖 “Lady Usagi” by @mmmbuttery - Canon-Divergent AU. One-shot. Rated G. Drama, Romance. - A quiet girl working in an inn meets a noisy young lord, but all is not as it seems.

No matter how many times I read these, they never lose their shine. I can always fangirl over those 5 (6) favorites.

🥵My Top 5: Favorite Smut Stories🥵

because yes, this definitely needs its own category, it’s very important. I would put “Unless the World Were to End” in here, but also that’s just a general fave, so I won’t include that one on this list. My favorite porn with plot, here we gooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

😳 “Side Effects” by Cheating Death - Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Complete. You can easily skip the rape and non-con without compromising the plot, the author warns you before it happens. - When Naruto and Hinata decide to participate in a high-paying clinical study, they wind up signing up for much more than they bargained for.

😳 “Money Shot” by callmesenorita - Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Complete. - When Naruto meets Hinata again, he can’t help comparing her to his favorite cam girl.

😳 “Out With the Old” by agitosgirl - BDSM Modern AU. Two-Shot, Complete. - A poor submissive meets a new Dominant to take care of her.

😳 “Shinobi Passions” by HoneyWriter78 - Canon-Divergent AU. Multi-Chapter, Incomplete. - When a mission takes a surprising turn for the worse, only Naruto can help her through the night...

😳 “Ghost (touch)” by @linisen - Soulmates/Modern AU. One-shot. - A soulmate AU where you feel where the other person is touching their body and thinking about you - like a ghost touch.

Hmm maybe honorable mentions would be “Timer: Naruto Edition” by funkychicken67, “Differences” by EroPrincess, “Secrets of the Hidden Leaf” by Sessakag (wait, does that one even have a plot), and “I’m in Here” by @bunny-hoodlum (hmmm actually that’s definitely porn without plot lol). There are tons of really good NaruHina smut fics, so this was hard.

✨My Top 5: Best of 2020✨

The stories of this past year that really, really made me look forward to checking the AO3 update list!! Like, there were a ton of new stories last year, and I didn’t get to read a lot of them, and especially for the long multi-chapter ones, I just didn’t have the emotional capacity to start them. But out of what I did get to read, the following were the most memorable and left an impression on me (pretending to exclude @bunny-hoodlum’s “Territorial”, because that’s just starting to feel unfair of me if she’s in every list lollllllll).

💫 “Still Falling for You” series, especially “August” and “October” by @chloelapomme - Various AU based on the NaruHina2020 Prompts. One-shots and Multi-chapters, Mostly Complete. Various Ratings and Genres. - August: Despite differences in cultures, appearances, and current occupations, Naruto will always feel at home with Hinata. October: Hinata has an unhealthy obsession. Naruto does, too...

💫 “A fate worse than death” & “A risky bet” by Caelestia - ABO Canon Universe. Two-Shot, Complete. Rated E. Romance. - Improperly socialized for his inner Alpha as a child, Naruto struggles with the intimacy of his mating bond.

💫 “Harbinger of Light” by @mysterious-crimson-lotus - Canon-Divergent AU. Multi-chapter, Complete. Rated T. Action, Romance. - Hinata is his light in the middle of the war.

💫 “As Luck Would Have It” by @vegebulsoup - Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Complete. Rated M. Romance. - Two strangers wake up naked together in Las Vegas with no memory of the night before.

💫 “Come and Find Me When the Weather is Fine” by @badluckbrebis - Modern AU. Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Rated T. Drama, Romance. - When she comes back for a wedding, years later after moving abroad, Hinata catches Naruto’s attention...but is he ready for a relationship?

AHHHHH I’M FINALLY SATISFIED WITH MY ANSWER. This took me sooooo long to put together because I kept rereading 🥺 all the stories I clicked on 🥺. Time to go to bed.

#anon #naruhina fanfic recs #my top 5 #more like top 20 haha #this really is my ultimate rec list #naruhina fanfic rec list

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dancedance-resolution · 4 years ago

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Why Batwoman 2x01 was so good:

1. The writers managed to strike a great balance between paying respect to Kate Kane and introducing Ryan. Kate Kane as a character is, of course, significant to DC. She’s an important source of representation as a Jewish lesbian, and she has a large legacy/mythos within the larger DC Comics history. Batwoman first showed respect to Kate as a character by wisely chosing to not kill her off. Next, there’s one scene where Ryan is reading up on Kate, developing new understanding and respect in the process, and every few seconds the camera cuts over to where Mary and Luke are reading up on Ryan, similarly gaining understanding and respect for Ryan. I think this scene effectively facilitate the batsuit’s—as a mantle, as a symbol, and as a mythos—being passed on to Ryan. It paid a large amount of respect to Kate as a character, pointing out some of the most significant aspects of her character, and sort of drew Ryan into Kate’s mythos as Batwoman in a way that helps facilitate her becoming Batwoman - she comes to learn and respect the history and the gravity of Batwoman as a person, as an entity, as a figure of justice, and as an icon; and as a result, she can now carry on that legacy and expand it, using it to bring even more good to the world.

But even before she learned about Kate, Ryan respected her. When Ryan first met Mary and Luke, she offers genuine condolences for their loss. She doesn’t disrespect them or make light of their grief. Even though these two people are strangers,

In the process of paying due respect to Kate, however, Batwoman did not minimize Ryan or treat her as “second” to Kate. Ryan got a significant amount of screentime and focus—as she should—and her time on screen was all truly meaningful. We’ve begun to see her backstory, see who she is as a person, and see what that will mean for her as Batwoman.

2. Ryan is a lovable character, and Javicia did an excellent job portraying her. I love Ryan a lot, guys. She’s passionate, earnest, and driven. She’s down-to-earth and has a strong sense of justice that leads her through life. And at the same time, she’s a charming dork - the type of charming dork who yells “I’m bulletproof, bitches!” after dangling helplessly from the sky by a grappling hook. I, obviously, fucking love her for it.

I also think that the writers did a great job of keeping the vibe of season 1 to a good extent. The way Ryan was introduced felt like a proper introduction considering what we know about this show’s Gotham and considering how things were done in season 1. It worked well. Additionally, it is not lost on me how meaningful it is that from Ryan’s very first scene, we see that her instinct is to selflessly help victims to the best of her ability, and it is because she went out to help them that she stumbled upon the Batsuit. Furthermore, in that scene where she does discover the suit, the flashbacks establish that this moment in meaningful beyond just this one moment of time - it has connection to Ryan’s history and motivations for becoming Batwoman. During the DC Fandome this past summer, Caroline Dries said this season would deal with destiny. I think that that first scene was a great way to introduce it as a concept without taking away any of the sense that Ryan truly deserves this mantle as well. (One last side note - the use of music and sound effects in that first scene was excellent.)

While the writers certainly deserve a good bit of credit for creating this amazing character from scratch, I think Javicia also deserves a lot of credit here - she did an absolutely stunning job as Ryan. The charm I saw in Ryan was very similar to the goofy charm she brought to Ali in God Friended Me (which I loved, by the way), and those lighter scenes were played with the same adeptness as the dark, intense, and gutwrenchingly emotional scenes.

3. Batwoman acknowledged Alice’s grief and trauma in a way that also gave viewers some closure regarding season 1 matters. I think that Alice’s grief process was written pretty well considering her already existing trauma. And that succinct summary of Alice’s plan to get her dad to kill Kate was pretty clever on the writer’s part, as it gave us some closure regarding season 1’s goings on that were interrupted by COVID (and that were unable to be seen to completion since Kate Kane is no longer Batwoman).

4. The episode had many powerful moments. Some quotes that really struck me:

“You make it sound like these are all my choices...You wanna know why I haven’t paid my fines? Because I can’t find a job. Because I don’t have a home. Because no land lord wants to rent to an ex-con on post-release. You see how this works? No one cares that the dope wasn’t mine or that the Crows were dirty. Or that I’m actually a decent human. I am a file in your cabinet. That is not having power. That is thr very definition of powerless.” This line is made all the more powerful by the fact that Ryan’s first words upon donning the Batsuit are “Time to be powerful.”

“Trust me, I know I’m not a symbol, or a name, or a legacy...I am a number. I am the 327th baby of a Black woman who died of childbirth that year. I am a twenty-dollar-a-day check to a group home. I’m Inmate 4075 serving eighteen months for a crime I didn’t commit. But I can live with all those numbers because the mama who adopted me? I was her number one. But it turns out she’s just one of a quarter million murders in this country who have not seen justice. And that is a number I can’t live with.”

“I’m bulletproof, bitches!”

5. Batwoman has a truly excellent supporting cast. I know that a significant portion of the Batwoman fandom has been in love with Mary, Luke, and Alice since day one. One common fear within the fandom was that season 2 would feel like a completely different show, but at least in this episode, that wasn’t the case. The supporting characters were all prominently featured and given a good amount of emotional depth to cover - and seeing their journey helped the show feel familiar and helped carry us viewers over into this new era of Batwoman. And because the transition from Kate to Ryan was so well done, as I discussed in point 1, I didn’t feel like there was any absence or lacking in the show.

6. They did a great job carrying over that Kryptonite storyline from last season. In fact, it makes a lot more sense to me now. I was admittedly a bit confused by the whole Kryptonite storyline last season (it felt a bit like a mere device to facilitate Kate’s relationship with Kara - which, hey, I’m not complaining; I loved that friendship and think they should have hooked up once). Perhaps it was confusing since COVID cut it short. But whatever the reason, I’m glad that I now understand the deeper purpose behind this Kryptonite storyline. And, wow, this has the potential to be super cool and interesting!

7. They called out the Crows in a meaningful way. I think I’m not the only person who is a bit uncomfortable with the Crows in both concept and practice (yes, I do understand that they’re based on the comics, though). So I really appreciated—and found it super powerful—that it was Ryan who delivered the line “The Crows were dirty.” Sometimes I get confused as to whether Batwoman is portraying the Crows as good or bad, so lines like that give me comfort in knowing that the show at the very least acknowledges the problematic nature of an overmilitarized private police force that has been contracted out to have dominion over a city whose population includes a significant amount of low income people.

8. Bonus: They did good by the shippers. Batmoore shippers got some closure by observing Sophie’s grief process and hearing the letter Kate left her. Pennymoore shippers are certainly getting emotional and significant content for their ship. And for clowns like me, the show introduced a great new ship, Mary/Ryan, that I adore even though I know it won’t be canoning, lol.

#batwoman #batwoman spoilers

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longingandheartacheandlust · 5 years ago

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Roach is a Hereditary Title

Okay, so, I was thinking about Roach, as I do frequently.

Do any of y’all remember that scene in Lord of the Rings where Aragorn’s almost unconscious and his horse, Brego, lies down next to him to help him mount? Given that Geralt spends a lot of time getting himself severely injured while alone, it makes a lot of sense for Roach to be trained to do something along those lines, also. (That sorta thing is absolutely done IRL. I knew a lady, for instance, who was 5 feet tall but rode a draft horse who was more than 6 feet tall at the shoulder. She trained her horse to lower his head so she could hop on his neck and the horse would then lift his head back up so she’d slide down his neck to his back.)

And then I was thinking about what other training a Witcher’s horse would require.

(I have another huge point as well about Roach and Geralt and world-building that is what I’m actually working towards in this very long post. The hint is in the big text up there. Also, there are some fun gifs below you might wanna check out even if you don’t read the post.)

The most obvious is a ground tie, which we actually see used in the show. That’s where a horse is trained to act as though they’re tied to something when they’re not - for instance, you might take a lead rope, let it dangle it down to the ground, and train the horse that they should act as though the lead rope is tied to the ground. Cowboys use it to keep their horses still while they’re dealing with obstacles, working with cattle on foot, etcetera, when they’re out in the middle of a prairie with nothing to tie onto. This would keep Roach put if Geralt needs to do something and there’s nothing to tie to, but also is great to keep her out of danger - she can be trained that if she’s actually being attacked she should GTFO.

Here she is, in fact, doing just that: she had been ground tied, but when the kikimora got closer, she calmly backed up out of range. That calm backing, btw, is 100% a trained behavior. If she were getting out of there of her own accord she’d be spinning around and going both forwards and much faster.

(From this post by @highevre.)

Horses can be trained to track - their sense of smell is almost as good as a dog’s, and Mounted Search and Rescue using horses as trackers is a thing. Not necessarily needed given Geralt’s own enhanced senses, but it might come in handy sometimes.

She’d probably want to be trained in extreme terrain, and you’d be amazed what horses can do with that. Here’s a clip of part of the standard training for US Cavalry from around 1930:

(From here.)

A good trail horse can shift their own weight to keep an inexperienced, exhausted, or, in this case, injured rider in the saddle, so she’d definitely want to know that.

It’s unlikely, but she might even be trained in active combat. Horses have in the past been trained not only to carry their riders into battle, but even to fight themselves. Here’s a gif of one tactic:

That’s a pretty good way to get a drowner off your tail! (It can absolutely be done with a rider on, I just didn’t find any nice gifs for that.)

This one could come in pretty handy too:

Even if she’s not kicking forward with those front hooves - which is, actually, an established move, it’s called “mezair” - if I were a monster I’d be a lot less eager to attack with a twelve foot tall wall of muscle coming at me.

(Look up videos of “haute ecole” or “airs above the ground” and you’ll see a whole lot of breathtaking stuff that Roach could do.)

There are some random fun tricks that might be useful, like picking things up and handing them to her rider.

The absolute number one thing, though, is that she would have to be completely, 100% bombproof, and that’s where I get to my main point.

(Please note for the rest of this post, in case you’re unaware, the name “Roach” refers to several horses, as horses aren’t generally immortal. Geralt names all his horses Roach.)

I used to breed horses, and specifically the emerging breed Drum Horses. They were originally bred to (and are still used to) carry kettle drums in parades. Now, for that you need to be big, since the drums and gear can weigh more than 450lb. But, most importantly, you need to be completely, entirely unshakeable, to a degree that shouldn’t frankly be possible in a prey animal. You’ve got not only the insanity of a parade going on but also a huge loud noise right next to your head, the constant vibration from the drums, AND since the rider’s hands are busy playing the drums the horse is steered using only the feet.

So how the heck do you get a prey animal that’s specialized for millenia in Running the Fuck Away to do that? Well, centuries of selective breeding. Drums are derived from the Irish Cob, which was (and is) used by nomadic people in Europe to pull caravans. They have to be steady, able to deal with kids running around their feet while they work, since the caravans were mobile homes they're very noisy, and, long story short, Irish Cobs spent centuries being bred to be bombproof. The Drum Horses, then, were derived from that breed but with an even stronger focus on being 100% reliable and not-prey-like.

They’re also trained literally from birth; parade horses, police horses, and the like generally are. Within minutes of birth, you start handling them, rubbing them all over so they’re never startled by a touch. You put radios in their stalls playing rock music so they get used to sudden loud noises. You tie brightly colored streamers in their pastures to wave in the wind, pop open umbrellas, toss beach balls at them. Spray perfume and waft popcorn smell. Rub them all over with any equipment you might use, including tack but also things like weapons (mounted target shooting is a sport still done today). Have the equipment make whatever noise it’s gonna make. (Clanging, firing, whatever.)

The POINT being, that for Roach to be able to handle dealing with a new terrifying monster every week, she’d pretty much have to be specifically bred for it.

Well... where do you get horses bred to handle monsters, you ask? They might have had a small breeding operation at Kaer Morhen, but that doesn’t exactly help now.

My conclusion: Geralt must be breeding his own horses.

Roach is always a mare, after all. Maybe that’s not just sentimentality. Every so often, he finds a good, steady stallion - the very best on the Continent, of course, nothing else would do for his perfect girl. She’d be able to keep working most of the 11 months of pregnancy, and then for the last few he’d let her rest, either leaving her with someone he trusts until she’s due or staying with her and only doing day trips on foot.

And when the foal’s born, he starts doing all that training above from birth.

Half of those foals are going to be boys, of course. And he only uses mares as Roach. So what about the colts? Well, he sells them, once they’re old enough to leave their mother. And those horses, damn, they’re bred and trained so incredibly carefully, they must be the most valuable, sought-after cavalry mounts on the Continent. Kings and Queens bid for Roach’s sons to be their noble steeds. Geralt wouldn’t need to take jobs for years after selling one of Roach’s foals, if he didn’t want to.

Sometimes bad things happen, so he’d need to have a spare Roach or two always around just in case his girl retires earlier than planned. (She got a mild injury that keeps her from doing all that stuff above, she didn’t die, I promise!) So there are always a few Roaches around the country on a sort of lease, not allowed to be taken into combat but still being the amazing, perfect horses they are until their Witcher comes back to get them.

Final Conclusion:

All of the most famous horses on the Continent are Roach’s descendants. Royalty riding a horse that wasn’t from her is barely even worth being called royalty at all. And Geralt has raised his girl, and her mother, and her mother’s mother, and her mother’s mother’s mother, and on back, from birth, the first face they ever see and the first hand in their manes.

(Source: me! That’s one of my babies.)

#geralt is a horse girl #roach witcher #roach the horse #roach horse #mine

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unexpected-nightview · 4 years ago

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Spoiler-ish (technically the screenwriter backtracking and trying to fix that clownery)

Okay just to keep track of everything : post by the screenwriter + pic with translation about said post + translated text (via google bc I don’t speak chinese...) + original text all under the cut.

1)Translation

"Hate Your Lord Is Not Like Jiang Lou Yue" Finale 37-1 At the entrance of Yuzhitang Jiang Yuelou stands on the opposite side of the street, going back and forth across the street The flow of people and the glass windows of Yu Zhitang, watching the glass After Chen Yuzhi, the corners of his mouth rose unconsciously. 37-2 Within days of Yu Zhitang Chen Yuzhi packed the things on the table, ready to hit kind. Chen Yuzhi noticed a scorching gaze, Lifting his gaze, it was Jiangyue Tower. Jiang Yuelou raised an eyebrow at him triumphantly and gave him one Bright laugh. Chen Yuzhi smiled back and took off the white The lab coat, walked towards the door. 37-3 Outside the entrance of Yuzhitang Chen Yuzhi locked the door, Jiang Yuelou crossed the street Come. Chen Yuzhi; Didn't you say that the police station was handed over in the morning? Do you have a lot of work and are you busy? Jiang Yuelou: No matter how busy you are, you have to eat. Besides, Today's special day, Lantern Festival, not with me Over? Chen Yuzhi turned around and smiled gently: OK, together Over. 37-4 Jingcheng Street Niwai Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi walked along the street, talking and laughing With. The people on both sides of the street, some are cooking, some Playing chess, some are drinking tea, and some are living and working in peace and contentment. Look like. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi comforted and looked at each other laugh. Jiang Yuelou: Our efforts were not in vain, they Finally can live a stable life. Chen Yuzhi: Yeah, finally, everything is worth it From time to time, someone greeted the two. Passerby: Doctor Chen! Passer-by: Section Chief Jiang! Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi nodded in response with a smile. Passers-by greeted warmly: Chief Jiang, come to the house for soup Round, we made it ourselves, don't dislike it. Jiang Yuelou laughed: No, we are also going to go back do. Chen Yuzhi was stunned, and after passers-by walked away, he asked: Are you planning to do it yourself? Jiang Yuelou; otherwise? Chen Yuzhi: I thought you meant to go to the house at the door Kunton stalls, her family will cook some glutinous rice balls every day Applicable. Jiangyuelou: Do it yourself, it has a special flavor. Smile of Chen Yuzhi: Okay, listen to you. The two talked and laughed and walked. Not far ahead, A man in a rickshaw driver's clothes raised his eyes slightly The line turned out to be Zhan Junbai who escaped from the dead. Zhan Junbai raised his gaze and looked at it with hatred. From a subjective perspective, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are getting closer Up. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi didn't realize it was coming Danger, chatting. Jiang Yuelou: It’s been a long time since I rode a horse. This weekend, Go for horse racing? Chen Yuzhixiao: This time, I will definitely beat you. Jiang Yuelou is full of confidence: give it a try. While they were talking, the two had already arrived in front of Zhan Junbai. Zhan Junbai suddenly held a gun and shot at Jiangyuelou. He It is the one that was given to Yutangchun and then returned The gun in his own hand. Chen Yuzhi didn't hesitate to rush to block Jiangyue Tower In front of him, the bullet shot into Chen Yuzhi's heart. Jiangyuelou Want to block the future. Jiang Yuelou's unbelievable look, hold it fast with one hand Chen Yuzhi, who was about to fall, drew his spear without hesitation and charged Zhuan Junbai shot. The people scattered and fled. Zhan Junbai was shot, his body was shocked, crazy and terrifying Smiling and falling to the ground, he looked at Jiang Yuelou proudly. He felt no physical pain, he was immersed in revenge In pleasure. A string of beads on his hand broke and fell The ground, scattered around, that is Yutangchun's hand when he was alive Beaded. Zhan Jun white grinning smile: Jiang Yuelou, what I lost, you I can't get it either. He died, more painful than your death Right? Jiang Yuelou didn't care about Zhanjun Bai, nervously Pulling off Chen Yuzhi's jacket, he saw the bullet shooting through the inside The armor is almost penetrated, severely changed Fortunately, it did not hurt the body. Jiang Yuelou is anxious and worried: how are you, where did you hurt Is it there? Chen Yuzhi patted Jiang Yuelou's hand comfortably: I didn't thing. Jiang Yuelou annoyed Chen Yu's eyes: Both of us Go back and calculate! Zhan Junbai saw that Chen Yuzhi was not injured, and he was shocked. Unbelievable look; how is this possible?! Jiang Yuelou turned and walked towards Zhan Junbai, staring at him He: I've already gotten it right, you won't let it go, from I have been waiting since the day you fled, waiting for you come back. As Jiang Yuelou said, he opened his coat, and he did it too Protection: Zhan Junbai, I am different from you, you lose Go, I will never lose. Jiang Yuelou said, glanced at Chen Yuzhi, the two were right Depending on. Zhan Junbai was defeated and looked desperate. Jiang Yuelou raised his gun again, preparing to end Zhanjun White. Zhan Junbai moved his eyes from Jiangyue Tower to Chen Yuzhi, supporting With one last breath: Dr. Chen, can Can't help me Busy? Chen Yuzhi looked at him coldly: I won't help you intercede Yes, you deserve it. Zhan Junbai; it's not this busy...cough cough... Zhan Jun white mouth and more and more blood surges in the wound Out, dyed red beads scattered on the ground, like red beans. Zhan Junbai: Help me and him, be buried together... Chen Yuzhi's accident: You didn't sink him into the crab pond? Zhan Junbai smiled: I really sink him, how can I give up Got. If you don't say this, how can you hold the following people. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi looked at each other, Chen Yuzhibai Mixed feelings. Chen Yuzhi: Where is he buried? Zhan Junbai; Chengdong. Xinglinli. Chen Yuzhi remembered Yutangchun telling that he liked it before he was alive Xinglin in the east of the city, I want to survive the spring and be buried in Xinglin One scene. Zhan Junbai; help me, okay... Chen Yuzhi shook his head: He was tortured because of you during his lifetime. After death, I definitely don’t want to have anything with you Ge. The only pleading look in Zhan Junbai's life; please You... Dr. Chen, please... Chen Yuzhi did not hesitate, turned and walked towards Jiang Yue floor. Jiang Yuelou raised the muzzle and ended Zhan Junbai's Raw. The picture is getting darker. 37-5 Jiangyuelou's home at night The door opened, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi came in. Jiang Yuelou's complexion is not very good, he is angry, heavy Sitting on the sofa. Chen Yuzhi was a little guilty, took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves Zi: What about making glutinous rice balls? I'll prepare them. Jiang Yuelou stared at him, did not speak, his eyes followed Chen I walked around. Chen Yuzhi looked back: Don't do it now? Jiang Yuelou got up and strode towards Chen Yuzhi: What to do What do you do, settle the account! Chen Yuzhi: I was not injured... Jiang Yuelou is angry; this is a fluke, what if?! Me The armor is prepared for you to protect yourself, not for Let you save people! Chen Yuzhi: But that's you... Jiang Yuelou is fierce: No one can do it! Besides, I'm not without it, I need you to rush out to protect me Did you know that I was almost scared to death.. Chen Yuzhi: Sorry, I was in a hurry, I forgot Up. Jiang Yuelou was stunned: Did you forget about the armor? Chen Yuzhi: It was too late to think too much... Jiang Yuelou suddenly felt very heartfelt, touched and touched. Fear, his fierce face instantly softened, and he raised his hand Gave Chen Yuzhi a deep hug. Jiang Yuelou whispered: Yu Zhi, in my life, I don't Fortunately...but how lucky it is to meet you. Chen Yuzhi responded in a low voice: Me too, Yuelou. How lucky to meet you... For a moment, Jiang Yuelou let go and pushed Chen Yuzhi towards kitchen. Chen Yuzhi: What? Jiang Yuelou: Make glutinous rice balls! 37-6 black screen subtitles: one year later 37-7 A small courtyard in a countryside day (faint) inside/outside The dusk is groggy. With the door open, you can see that Chen Keying is holding a small Play freely in the hall. In the courtyard, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi are sitting on a stone table before. There are some dried herbs on the table, Chen Yuzhi Pulling herbs. Jiang Yuelou held a newspaper in her hand, Newspaper headlines, Jin Dacheng became director, Jing Chengtai level. Jiang Yuelou smiled, put down the newspaper, picked up the tea cup, Make tea comfortably. Jiang Yuelou took a sip of hot tea and looked at Chen Yu Zhi: Alright, it's been an afternoon, and tomorrow Chen Yuzhi laughs: a few days later is the rainy season, so you have to take advantage of the sky Okay, just dry it thoroughly. Jiang Yuelou handed a cup of hot tea: no hurry at this time and a half Engrave, take a sip of tea slowly. Chen Yuzhi raised his hand to indicate, his slender fingers were touched Herb sap stained with emerald color. Jiang Yuelou simply handed the cup over, Chen Yuzhi low Head, took a few sips of water with Jiang Yuelou's hand. Jiang Yuelou: I have found the location of the clinic, what do I need Please leave the list empty, let's go buy it together. Chen Yuzhi raised his head and looked at Jiang Yuelou, making a cunning point Laughter: Everything else is easy to say, there is only one thing, I'm afraid it is It's not easy to buy. Jiang Yuelou: What is it? Come and listen. Chen Yuzhi: The original Yuzhitang plaque is pretty good Yes, it's a pity that I forgot to bring it when I moved. Jiang Yuelou: This is easy to handle, I will solve it. Chen Yuzhi laughed: What, the engraver of Yuelou, once Is it ripe for the second time? Jiang Yuelou froze for a while, reacted, you all know Up? Chen Yuzhi: Yes. Jiang Yuelou: When did it happen? Smile of Chen Yu: Secret. Jiang Yuelou raised her eyebrows: Secret? Then don't blame me Up. Jiang Yuelou said, got up, went to the hut and dragged out A plaque, carefully wrapped in cloth, Jiangyue Tower Raise your hand, the cloth flutters, revealing Yu Zhitang below Plaque. Chen Yuzhi laughed blankly. Jiang Yuelou smiled proudly. In the distance, the setting sun, crimson and yellow cross Jiang Yuelou stared into the distance, feeling: Yu Zhi, the sun It's down. Chen Yuzhi raised his eyes and looked along the Jiangyue Tower Go, the dusk is bleak. Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yuzhi stared at each other, tacitly agreeing Laugh, all affectionate, all affection, everything is silent in. The silhouette in the sunset gradually merged. --End of the whole play- Extraordinary ending Green poplar smoke is light outside, red apricot branches spring Noisy. In the Xinglin in the east of the city, one is well repaired But there is no tomb with a stele. In front of the tombstone, put some fresh Bouquets and memorial supplies. The camera pulls up, from the feet up, Jiang Yuelou and Chen Yu 之入画. The two stood side by side in front of the tombstone, looking at jade Tang Chun's tomb is silently missed. Flashback, the scene before Zhan Junbai died. Chen Yuzhi: Where is he buried? Zhan Junbai; Chengdong. Xinglin Li.. Keke (kee Blood). I didn’t engrave the stele, in case someone knows the body Fortunately, he was troubled by me, and he couldn't be peaceful after death. The flashback is over. Chen Yuzhi: I did not agree to his request, if you You know Izumi, surely he is unwilling, right? No one answered, the wind blows the flowers. Jiang Yuelou comfortably embraced Chen Yuzhi and rubbed twice Lower the neck; if you really promise to help him be buried together, That's what insulted boss Yu. Now it's good Up. Jiang Yuelou said, let go of Chen Yuzhi, and looked back The cliff not far away. On the cliff, there is no one Lonely grave with lettering. Because of the terrain, the lone tomb can be In order to see the Xinglin and Yutangchun tombs under the mountain, and The lone tomb is always in the back of Yutangchun's tomb, no Will get a glimmer of light. Chen Yuzhi looked back, feeling complicated, sighing sound. Jiang Yuelou; gone, let's go home for the rest. The setting sun stained the branches and willows of Xinglin, Jiangyuelou, Chen Yu Zhi crosses the Xinglin side by side, and the rest of the discussion spreads from time to time Come. Chen Yuzhi: Yuelou, you said, people have an afterlife ? Jiang Yuelou took a deep look at Chen Yuzhi: I don't know Tao, but I hope there is. Chen Yuzhi laughed; even if he had, he drank Meng Po soup, Probably also met and did not know each other. Jiang Yuelou: Leave a secret sign, how about? If you meet again See, you won’t miss it. Chen Yuzhi ridiculed: Isn't that necessary for generations to come Met you guy? Jiang Yuelou jealous: Listening to these words, it seems not very willing? Chen Yuzhi: If it were you, I would be willing. Jiang Yuelou was deeply moved, and the two smiled at each other. The shadow disappeared in the depths of the apricot forest. The mountain scenery is steep, Zhan Junbai stands on the cliff, but He didn't feel cold, he was just cold in his heart. Zhan Junbai stared deeply at a touch of the apricot forest ahead Back, his eyes cleared and disappeared. Zhan Junbai murmured: Do you have an afterlife? The mountain wind blows and blows, as if it blows this sentence to the mountain In the ears of people. Yutangchun faces the apricot forest and back to the cliff. For some reason, weeping and whispering slightly; I don't know Tao. Zhan Junbai; They have an appointment in the next life... If, I We also have an afterlife, will everything be different? Yutangchun Yuguang glanced back slightly, his eyes earning Tangle and sigh; if there is an afterlife, I Hope, never meet you again. Jun Bai. I hope Hope, for generations to come, never see each other... From Huawei memo @ 直好好的

=> so basically, the shooting happens but Yuzhi was wearing some sort of bulletproof vest and he didn’t get hurt. They hug and both go “so lucky to have met you”. All is well in the world, this is the canon ending and fuck the rest~

2)Original text (extracted from the pic)

《恨君不似江楼月》大结局 37-1余之堂门口日外江月楼站在街道对面,隔着街道来往的人流和余之堂的玻璃窗,注视着玻璃后的陈余之,嘴角不自觉上扬。 37-2 余之堂日内陈余之收拾着桌面的东西,准备打样。陈余之察觉到一股灼热的目光, 抬起视线看去,是江月楼。江月楼得意地冲他扬眉,赠予他一个明亮的笑。陈余之回以一笑,脫下白大褂,朝着门外走去。 37-3 余之堂门口日外陈余之锁门,江月楼穿过街道上来。陈余之;早上你不是说最近警署交接工作多,很忙吗? 江月楼:再忙,也得吃饭啊。再说, 今天特殊日子,元宵节,不跟我一起过? 陈余之转身,温和一笑:好,一起过。 37-4景城街道日外江月楼、陈余之沿着街道走着,说笑着。街道两边的百姓,有的在煮饭,有的在下棋,有的在喝茶,一副安居乐业的样子。江月楼、陈余之心中安慰,对视一笑。江月楼:我们的努力没有白费,他们终于能过上安稳的日子了。陈余之:是啊,总算,一切都值不时有人向两人打招呼。路人甲:陈医生! 路人乙:江科长! 江月楼、陈余之微笑点头回应。路人热情招呼:江科长,来家里吃汤圆啊,我们自己做的,别嫌弃。江月楼笑:不用了,我们也准备回去做。陈余之愕了下,待路人走开后,问: 你打算自己做啊? 江月楼;不然呢? 陈余之:我以为,你是说去门口那家锟饨摊吃,她家每到这天都会煮些汤圆应景。江月楼:自己做,别有风味。陈余之笑:好,听你的。两人说笑着,走着。前方不远处, 个穿着黄包车夫衣服的人微微抬起视线,竟然是死里逃生的展君白。展君白抬起视线,仇恨的目光看去, 主观视角,江月楼和陈余之越来越近了。江月楼和陈余之浑然不觉即将到来的危险,聊着。江月楼:好久没骑马了,这个周末, 赛马去? 陈余之笑:这次,一定赢你。江月楼自信满满:试试看。说话间,两人已经到了展君白面前, 展君白突然持枪,朝着江月楼开枪,他拿着的,是那把曾送给玉堂春后又回到自己手上的枪。陈余之毫不犹豫地扑过去挡在江月楼身前,子弹射进陈余之心口处。江月楼想要阻拦未来得及。江月楼不敢置信的神情,一手扶住快要倒下的陈余之,毫不犹豫地拔枪,冲着展君白开枪。百姓们四散而逃。展君白中弹,身子一震,疯狂恐怖地笑着倒地,他器张得意地看着江月楼, 身体的痛他毫无感觉,他沉浸在报复的快感中。他手上戴着的一串珠子断裂落地,四散开来,那是玉堂春生前不离手的串珠。展君白狞笑:江月楼,我失去的,你也得不到。他死了,比你死了,更痛吧? 江月楼顾不得��理展君白,紧张地扯开陈余之外套,看到子弹射在内里穿着的护甲上,护甲几乎被穿透,严重变形,所幸没有伤及身体。江月楼着急担忧:你怎么样,伤到哪里没有? 陈余之宽慰地拍拍江月楼的手:我没事。江月楼气恼地陈余之一眼:咱俩的账回去算! 展君白看到陈余之并未受伤,楞住, 不可置信的神情;这怎么可能?! 江月楼转身走向展君白,死死盯着他:我早就算准了你不会善罢甘休,从你逃离的那天起,我一直在等着,等你回来。江月楼说着,撩开自己外套,他也做了防护:展君白,我跟你不一样,你失去的,我永远不会失去。江月楼说着,看了眼陈余之,两人对视。展君白一败涂地,绝望神情。江月楼再次抬起枪口,准备结束展君白。展君白视线从江月楼移向陈余之,撑着最后一口气:陈医生,能不能,帮我个忙? 陈余之冷眼看他:我不会帮你求情的,你这是罪有应得。展君白;不是这个忙...咳咳.... 展君白白嘴角和伤口越来越多的血涌出,染红了地上散落的珠子,宛如红豆。展君白:帮我和他,葬在一起... 陈余之意外:你没把他沉进蟹塘? 展君白笑了笑:真沉了他,我如何舍得。不这样说,又如何镇得住下面的人。江月楼、陈余之对视一眼,陈余之百感交集。陈余之:他葬在何处? 展君白;城东.杏林里。陈余之想起玉堂春生前诉说自己喜欢城东杏林,想要熬过春天,葬在杏林的一幕。展君白;帮我,行吗... 陈余之摇头:他生前因你受尽折磨, 死后,定然也不愿和你再有什么瓜葛。展君白一生唯一一次恳求的眼神;求你... 陈医生,求你.. 陈余之没有犹豫,转身走向江月楼。江月楼抬起枪口,结束了展君白的一生。画面渐黑。 37-5 江月楼的家夜内门开,江月楼、陈余之进门。江月楼面色不太好,生气中,重重地坐在沙发上。陈余之有些心虚,脱下外套,挽起袖子:做汤圆的东西呢?我去准备。江月楼盯着他,不说话,视线随着陈余之走动而动。陈余之回头:现在不做吗? 江月楼起身,大步走向陈余之:做什么做,算账! 陈余之:我没受伤... 江月楼气;这是侥幸,万一呢?!我给你准备护甲是让你自保的,不是为了让你救人的! 陈余之:可那是你... 江月楼凶巴巴:是谁都不行!再说, 我又不是没有,用得着你冲出来护我吗?你知不知道,我差点吓死.. 陈余之:对不起,一时情急,我忘了。江月楼愣住:你忘了护甲这回事? 陈余之:当时来不及想太多... 江月楼突然感到无比的窝心、感动和后怕,凶巴巴的脸瞬间软化下来,抬手给了陈余之一个深深的拥抱。江月楼低喃:余之,我这一生,很不幸...但又何其有幸,竟能遇见你。陈余之低声回应:我也一样,月楼。遇见你,何其有幸.. 片刻,江月楼松手,推着陈余之走向厨房。陈余之:嗯?干什么? 江月楼:做汤圆! 37-6黑屏字幕:一年后 37-7 某乡下小院日(昏)内/外暮色昏沉。屋门开着,可以看到,陈可盈抱着小自在厅内玩耍。院子里,江月楼和陈余之坐在石桌前。桌上摆着些晾晒的草药,陈余之正在翻拉草药。江月楼手上拿着报纸, 报纸头条,金大成开任署长,景城太平。江月楼笑了,放下报纸,拿起茶杯, 惬意泡茶。江月楼自顾自喝了一口热茶,看向陈余之:好了,侍弄一下午了,明日再陈余之笑:过几日是雨季,得趁着天好,晒干晒透才行。江月楼递上一杯热茶:不急这一时半刻,喝口茶缓缓。陈余之抬起手示意,他修长手指上沾染了翠色的药草汁液。江月楼干脆将杯子递过去,陈余之低头,就着江月楼的手喝了几口水。江月楼:诊所的位置找好了,需要什么物件你空了列一下,我们一起去买。陈余之抬头,看向江月楼,狡點一笑:别的都好说,只有一件东西,怕是不好买。江月楼:什么东西?你说来听听。陈余之:原来那块余之堂的牌匾挺好的,可惜,搬家的时候忘带了。江月楼:这个啊,好办,我来解决。陈余之笑:怎么,月楼的雕工,一回生二回熟了? 江月楼愣了下,反应过来,你都知道了? 陈余之:嗯。江月楼:什么时候的事儿? 陈余之笑:秘密。江月楼扬眉:秘密啊?那就别怪我了。江月楼说着,起身,去一旁小屋拖出一块牌匾,上面用布仔细包着,江月楼扬手,布飘扬开来,露出下面的余之堂匾额。陈余之哑然失笑。江月楼得意傲娇的笑。远处,夕阳西下,绯红色和黄色交江月楼凝望远处,感慨:余之,太阳落山了。陈余之抬起视线,顺着江月楼视线看去,暮色苍茫。江月楼、陈余之凝视彼此,默契一笑,一切深情,一切情意,尽在不言中。夕阳下的剪影,逐渐融合。 --全剧终一- 番外结尾绿杨烟外晓寒轻,红杏枝头春意闹。城东的杏林里,一座修葺的很好却没有刻碑的墓。墓碑前,放了些新鲜的花束和祭奠用品。镜头拉起,从脚往上,江月楼和陈余之入画。两人并肩站在墓碑前,望着玉堂春的坟墓,默默怀念。闪回,展君白死前一幕。陈余之:他葬在何处? 展君白;城东. 杏林里..咳咳(咳血).我没有刻碑,万一被人知晓了身份,他受我连累,死后亦不得安宁。闪回结束。陈余之:我没有答应他的要求,若你泉下有知,定然也是不愿的吧? 无人回答,风吹花落。江月楼宽慰地揽住陈余之,摩挲了两下脖颈;若你真答应帮他合葬在一起, 才是辱了玉老板。如今这样,已经很好了。江月楼说着,松开陈余之,回头看向不远处的悬崖。悬崖之上,一座亦没有刻字的孤坟。因为地势原因,孤坟处可以看得到山下的杏林和玉堂春坟墓,而孤坟则永远在玉堂春坟墓的背影里,不会得到一丝一毫的余光。陈余之回头望去,心情复杂,唱叹一声。江月楼;走了,余之,咱们回家。夕阳染红了杏林的枝柳,江月楼、陈余之并肩穿过杏林,讨论的余声时而传来。陈余之:月楼,你说,人有来生吗? 江月楼深深看了眼陈余之:我不知道,但我希望有。陈余之笑了;就算有,喝了孟婆汤, 大抵也是相逢不相识了。江月楼:留个暗号,如何?若再遇见,便不会错过了。陈余之调侃:那岂不是生生世世都要遇到你这家伙了? 江月楼醋意:这话听着,好像不怎么愿意? 陈余之:若是你的话,我是愿意的。江月楼深深感动,两人对视一笑,身影消失在杏林深处。山风料峭,展君白站在悬崖之上,却并不觉得冷,他只是心冷。展君白深深凝望着前面杏林里的一抹背影,眼神明了又灭。展君白喃喃:你说,人有来生吗? 山风吹啊吹,仿佛把这句话吹到了山下人的耳朵里。玉堂春面朝杏林,背向悬崖,眼中不知怎的,微微泛起泪光,轻喃;我不知道。展君白;他们约了来生... 如果,我们也有来生,一切,会不会不一样? 玉堂春余光微微往后看了眼,眼神挣扎纠结,一声叹息;如果真有来生,我希望,再也不要遇到你. 君白. 我希望,生生世世,不复相见... 来自华为备忘录 " @ 直好好的

#killer and healer #killer and healer spoilers #spoilers #quite frankly I'm just going to accept that as the new ending #I don't care of stupid it is #it's better than those awful 5 last minutes #if mangotv were clever enough #they would edit those 5m out #but I don't think they are going to do it soooooo #*shrugs*#I still love this drama so fuck it

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