#good grief there's 51 movies

[messandamiracle]

So, in honor of the continuing hubris-driven journey I have yeeted myself on, here’s some thoughts on Wonder Woman 2009 (DC Animated Universe). 

Now, just to preface all this, I’ve never actually seen a Wonder Woman movie/cartoon/show or anything like that before, and I haven’t read any comics either. But lemme tell y’all, I was so ready to be impressed by an absolute queen of a badass Amazon warrior woman. And the first part of the movie seemed like it was going to deliver on those expectations. The opening fight with Hippolyta and the Amazons was so great - it was nice to see that they had uniforms which (to my poor and measly brains) looked reasonably like what any soldier might have worn in ancient Greece, rather than just being glorified leather bikinis. The fact that the crown which later becomes Diana’s wasn’t just a crown but also a bladed weapon capable of decapitating a man was a fantastic touch I did NOT see coming, and the fact that Ares was let off with imprisonment due to Zeus’ interference after committing a string of heinous crimes a mile long was both on-brand for the mythical character depiction and deeply frustrating in a way that made the Amazons’ retreat quite understandable and really tragic: they couldn’t live safely in a world where justice was constantly twisted in men’s favor, to the repeated detriment and harm of all others. 

(I would die for you ma’am)

And when Diana ends up experiencing the outside world for the first time, it’s revealed that these problems haven’t gone away, which gives us some moments that are really hard-hitting. There’s the scenes where Steve Trevor shows up on the island where all he does is a) ogle women b) violate their privacy in a way that is in fact criminal, and c) repeatedly weird sexual comments about the amazons. When she goes to America, there’s a really sweet scene where she teaches a young girl to swordfight because the boys she’s playing pirates have relegated her to the sidelines as a damsel in distress, and then the girl goes off and just absolutely DEMOLISHES them.

And there’s this killer quote (which I love), “Remarkable. The advanced brainwashing that has been perpetrated against the females of your culture. Raised from birth to believe that they’re not strong enough to compete with the boys. And then as adults taught to trade on their very femininity.” As someone who grew up surrounded by a lot of male relatives, this quote hit hard and was really relatable. And then there’s (to my mind) the MOST uncomfortable scene, where Steve takes Diana to a bar and is clearly trying to get her drunk with intentions that literally COULD NOT be more suspect. 

(can you FEEL the toxicity tonight?) (also the fact that Diana looks vaguely uncomfortable with Steve in every scene she’s in with him, including the ones where it’s supposed to be romantic)

And then it hits. It’s like you can FEEL the moment when the scriptwriters were like “whoo boy, guess we better pull back on this on guys, we might have made it a little TOO feminist. Time to pump the brakes!”

Because the next thing you know, she and Steve are going on a mission to stop Ares from taking over the world (or killing everyone in it - he doesn’t really have clear-cut goals, because he feeds off human suffering but if he kills everyone then won’t he just starve to death?). And they get beaten back by Ares’ forces and there’s a whole bit where Diana tells Steve to save the world and he DOESN’T and rescues her from the flying creature that had grabbed her instead and it’s like...supposed to be this whole redemptive moment where, despite the fact that he has done nothing but be an absolute sleazeball this ENTIRE film, NOW he’s a great guy. But like, look at Diana???

This is her waking up in the hospital. You know what I see? No cuts, burns, abrasions - there’s some kind of drip or transfusion line off to the side, but it’s unclear what exactly it is. She’s not in the ICU and doesn’t seem to have been in surgery, and like five minutes later she’s off to fight again anyways. But Steve claims he’s saved her life and it’s supposed to be some kind of “moment” for them, where she realizes he “cares” and whatnot. But like, if she didn’t need saving, as evidenced by the lack of serious injury, then Steve has just put his need to /feel/ like a rescuer over actually rescuing the ENTIRE WORLD. Keep it up Stevie. That whole hospital gimmick is sure gonna mean a lot when countless numbers of her relatives are dead because of your warped sexist savior complex. And what’s even worse is, in this scene, he actually has the GALL to chastise her for her negative view of the society she has found herself in, as well as men in general, and that not every man who opens a door is part of a misogynist plot. Which, like, first of all, she has seen NOTHING in her LIFE to dissuade her from this view Steve, least of all your sad sexist hide. Second, when EVER has this been about opening doors??? This is about your harassment and toxic behaviors, you stale box of apple jacks. But then she like??? Responds?? To this crap???? And seems to BELIEVE it so some extent??? Whish, given that she has STILL seen nothing to dissuade her from her opinions is HIGHLy out of character and makes me wonder what was in that drip line. 

(excuse me while I go screech out the window in horror and rage)

This is followed by a scene in Diana’s (very cool) jet where Steve accidentally truth-lassos himself and says (I kid you not) that he isn’t as much of a pig as he seems and just acts this way because he doesn’t “want to get hurt again.” But Steve, Stevie, Stevie my dude, YOU ARE A PIG. You don’t SEEM like a pig, you ARE one. There’s a difference. And with this ONE phrase, we’re just supposed to forget the harassment, the bar scene, the ogling, and creepy behavior in general. Good GRIEF. 

It gets worse from there. At one point, Diana tells Ares “How could you hope to defeat Zeus if you can’t even defeat a girl?” which is weird and even MORE out-of-character for her, and then the president’s assistant calls the Amazons “Armored supermodels,” and apparently the whole motive for one of the Amazons betraying them by letting Ares out in the first place was woman’s inherent need to produce children being thwarted by the island’s all-female nature (which, don’t even get me STARTED, because before this whole Ares mess in the first place, Queen Hippolyta SAYS that he killed their husbands and families, so there is NO. REASON. That family options would have been off the table for the Amazons to have again in the future if they wanted them. We don’t even see the queen saying that they CAN’T have them). And the movie ends with Diana being lectured by [the pig] Steve over how she should act more feminine and let men open doors for her or some crap like she’s a child, and then it closes with her running off to fight a female villain. Which, villains can be women, it just feels like the final nail in the coffin of Diana’s forced domesticity (because apparently she and the pig are a THING now (someone please bleach my brain DIANA DESERVES INFINITELY BETTER)) that of COURSE they end with the trope of the female hero fighting the female villain now that she knows BETTER than her TERRIBLE feminist ways. 

So yeah, Wonder Woman 2009. I have to say, despite the trash hand dealt by the writers/producers/directors/whoever was responsible for this travesty, I did love Wonder Woman. She’s now one of my favorite superheroes and this makes me want to go and watch the live-action moves she’s in because I’ve heard those are a lot better. There were some parts I really loved and some parts I really hated (every frame of Steve), and way more things I could talk about. I guess I’d watch it again, if only for the absolute amazingness that is the first section and (of course) Wonder Woman. However, I shall press on in my journey. 

[marvelouslyfluffy]

Breakfast in New York

Eddie Brock x Reader

You and Eddie spend some quality time in New York together after visiting the Statue of Liberty.

Word Count: 1,221

SPOILERS FOR VENOM: THE LAST DANCE

You faintly heard the bustling sounds of Times Square in the distance from your hotel bed as you slowly gained consciousness from your slumber. You and Eddie had decided to visit New York City to see the Statue of Liberty. Although the both of you were excited to be there, you both couldn’t help but feel bittersweet about the whole trip. After everything you and Eddie had been through just weeks ago, you knew that you both deserved a nice trip. However, it still felt odd without someone who should have been there with you. You tried to shake these thoughts from your head to attempt to sleep a little longer, but you heard stirring from the second bed on the other side of the room.

“Good morning, buddy,” you heard Eddie groggily mutter. Your eyes fluttered open and you turned to see he was lying on his back with his eyes still shut. You assumed he was dreaming when he suddenly said, “Hey, buddy.”

“Good morning, Eddie,” you replied softly. Eddie’s eyes slowly opened, staring at the ceiling for a moment as his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He turned his head in your direction to see you lying on your side, looking back at him with a hint of concern. He grinned at you as he awakened more.

“Oh, good morning, Y/N. I did it again, didn’t I?” he asked apologetically. You nodded in response.

Both of you were still grieving the loss of Venom. You knew Venom had saved not only you and Eddie, but the whole world when he stopped the Xenophages in the explosion at Area 51. It didn’t mean you don’t still wish things could have turned out differently. So many emotions rushed around in your head as you thought back to that night.

“I miss him, too,” Your voice cracked as you barely managed above a whisper. Your view of Eddie across the room became blurry as tears began to fill your eyes. You tried to compose yourself, but you began to feel warm tears stream down your cheeks. Eddie turned his whole body to face you and patted the empty spot next to him on his bed. You threw off your blankets and made your way to lie next to Eddie. All of your composure faded as you hugged yourself as close to him as you could.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” you heard Eddie’s voice choke as you felt one of his hands hold the back of your head and the other slowly rub your back.

“I wish he could have seen the Statue of Liberty with us yesterday,” you quietly sobbed.

“I know. I wish he could have, too,” Eddie replies, his voice now sounding as sad as yours. You pulled away to look at him to see he was now also crying. You gave him a sympathetic look as you held the side of his face in your hand, wiping a tear away with your thumb. He gave a small smile and pulled you in even closer than you were before. Both of you spent a couple minutes holding each other and letting out tears for a friend you both loved and missed dearly. The feeling of being in the present moment, just being in each other’s company, made the grief a little easier to handle. You both knew nobody else in the world would truly understand what the three of you had been through.

“I’m glad we still have each other,” you admitted. Eddie pulled away and grinned at you lovingly.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Eddie replied as he began to stroke the top of your head. You grinned back at the gesture as you held his other hand. “You know something?”

“What?” you asked.

“I think he would be proud of us for being here,” he answered.

“I think he would be too,” you agreed.

“I know exactly what he would have said while we were at the Statue of Liberty,” Eddie chuckled.

“What’s that?” you asked as a larger smile started to form. Eddie cleared his throat and began to give his best Venom impression.

“Eddie, Y/N! It’s her! Can we climb it? It would be just like the woman and the giant gorilla in the movie we saw!” You began to giggle both at the accuracy of the voice and of Venom’s thoughts.

“Of course, we would have to tell him we couldn’t climb it. And besides, it was the Empire State Building he climbed, not the Statue of Liberty.”

“Then he would ask if we could visit that next so he could climb it!” Eddie joked. Both of you lied on your back and began to laugh the hardest you had in a while. After a few moments, you both sighed as your breathing began to slow. In that moment, your stomach growled loudly. Eddie turned to you with a raised eyebrow and you chucked sheepishly.

“Is your tummy saying that it’s time to get up?” Eddie asked, scrunching his nose.

“It can wait,” you reply as you cover your stomach with one hand.

“Breakfast does sound pretty good right about now. Why don’t we go ahead and get some since we’re awake?” Eddie suggests as he starts to push himself up.

“Not yet!” you playfully whine as you pull him back to lie next to you.

“What do you mean, not yet? Your body is clearly asking for food!” he lightly argues. “What are you in the mood for? Some eggs?” he asked as he poked your side.

“Hehey!” you giggled.

“No? What about bacon?” he suggested as he wiggled his finger against your other side. Your giggling became louder as you attempted to swat his hand away.

“Hmm… maybe sausage? Waffles? Cereal? French toast?” With each new suggestion, his finger moved to a different area of your belly. You tried to keep up with his hand to push it away, but Eddie was quick to dodge. Besides, the tingling feeling was not making your head very clear. All you could do was laugh.

“Oh, I know. How about... all of the above?” Eddie now used all five fingers to scribble on your belly.

“Hahahaha! Eddie, stop ihihit!” you shrieked in surprise.

“Are you going to get up now?” he asked as he continued wiggling his fingers all over your torso.

“Okay okay, fihihihine!” Eddie lifted his hand away to give you a chance to breathe. “On one condition.”

“And what is that?” he asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“I get to choose the Broadway show we see tonight,” you offered. Eddie thought about it for a moment but gave in once he saw your pleading eyes.

“Okay, whichever one you want,” he agreed.

“Thank you!” you leapt in his arms. He chuckled and hugged you back for a few moments. Now that you had a newfound energy, both of you were ready to finally start the day.

The breakfast was great and the Broadway show was even better. Although Eddie still didn’t fully understand why everyone was singing and dancing for the entire show, he liked it better than he expected to. Either way, it didn’t matter to him as long as he was with you. Even with Venom gone, you both knew that you would be each other’s protector.

[sgiandubh]

Oh good grief, it is her PR doing their job. Why should she be commended for being in a trade paper? Isn't Variety the place where she completely showed her behind and made an absolute fool of herself, shit talked her co-star and her fans? Clayton Davis is a well-known, sometimes combative, and usually wrong awards prognosticator. Amateur was not included on a list of most awaited, her performance is what he was looking forward to. 51 performances from 51 different movies, most people aren't going to see 80% of them. Also not for nothing but why does Sam need to be over the moon for her for appearing in Variety of all things? I'm happy for her success, I'm happy for his success, but for some reason -- he must be so proud of her but never that she must be proud of him.

Dear Variety Anon,

Hold your horses.

The (in)famous Striped Sheet Interview was given to Vanity Fair.

Not Variety.

Take a deep breath.

Smile.

Better?

It's already January 4th, in Europe. What about your New Year's Resolutions, Anon?

Take it easy: he loves her. She loves him. It's not like this is a fucking competition.

And I am sure she is very proud of him.

[denimbex1986]

'Paul Mescal cut a casual figure as he reunited with his All Of Us Strangers co-star Andrew Scott at Glastonbury festival in Worthy Farm on Saturday.

The Irish actor, 28, who stars as mysterious neighbour Harry in the emotional drama, seemed in high spirits as he was reunited with his co-star Andrew, 47, to participate in a special Q&A with Saoirse Ronan, 30.

Paul rocked a plain white T-shirt and beige chino trousers and layered up the ensemble with a lace cream shirt which he left unbuttoned. He sported a black and white pair of Adidas trainers.

Meanwhile, his co-star Andrew, who stars as a grief-stricken screenwriter in the film, opted for a more colourful ensemble as he sported a cobalt blue gilet.

He teamed the casual gilet with a baby blue vest top and wore a pair of baggy navy trousers.

He completed the look with a pair of chunky white Nike trainers and seemed in good spirits as he smiled for the camera.

All Of Us Strangers director Andrew Haigh, 51, also attended the event and ensured to get snaps with the pair.

He sported a boxy black T-shirt and a pair of light blue denim jeans as he smiled for the snap.

The three then took part in a festival edition screening and Q&A with Saoirse at the Pilton Palais tent to discuss the film.

Searchlight, who took to Instagram to post the sweet snaps, captioned the post with: 'Dream Glasto squad ✨ Andrew Haigh, Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal stopped by the @piltonpalais tent with Saoirse Ronan for a festival edition screening and Q&A of All of Us Strangers.'

It comes after Andrew spoke out on his close friendship with his co-star Paul, calling him ' a wonderful friend.'

The Irish actors worked together on their Oscar-nominated movie, and spent awards season together, delighting fans with their red carpet antics.

And since then, Andrew revealed how Paul played a pivotal role in helping him through a tough time after his beloved mother Nora died suddenly in March, right in the middle of the awards season spotlight.

'I adore Paul, he's so, so … continues to be …' Andrew told The Sunday Times. 'Obviously it's been a tough time recently and he just continues to be a wonderful friend. It's everything.'

'The more I work in the industry, I realise, you make some stuff that people love and you make some stuff that people don't like, and all really that you are left with is the relationships that you make. I love him dearly.'

All Of Us Strangers sees Andrew star as a screenwriter drawn back to his childhood home who enters into a fledgling relationship with a mysterious neighbour played by Paul.

Director Andrew Haigh previously said that Paul and Andrew were 'fearless' when filming their sex scenes in the new movie.

Speaking to Vanity Fair, he said: 'There was chemistry between the two of them literally the second I saw them together.

'Both of them were pretty fearless. There was no sense of them being afraid of approaching those scenes. They knew how important they were.'

As well as the success of All Of Us Strangers, Andrew is currently basking in a flurry of positive reviews for his starring role in a new Netflix adaptation of Patricia Highsmith's The Talented Mr. Ripley.

He also recently collected the Critics' Circle Theatre award for his remarkable performance in a contemporary rendering of Chekhov masterpiece Vanya.

But the occasion was tinged with sadness for the Irish star, whose devoted mother Nora passed away with a 'sudden illness' in March - shortly before Mother's Day.

And Scott - who dedicated the award to her memory by telling audience members 'she was the source of practically every joyful thing in my life' - admits he felt compelled to immerse himself in work following her recent passing.

'Well, you know, you have to — life goes on, you manage it day by day,' he told the Sunday Times.

'It's very recent, but I certainly can say that so much of it is surprising and unique, and there is so much that I will be able to speak about at some point.'

It comes after All Of Us Strangers had viewers in tears since its release in January with many believing it was overlooked at this year's award season.

The emotional drama starring Andrew and Paul ties together a beautiful romance with deep grief, as Andrew's character, Adam, remains deeply affected by the death of his parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell).

Based on the 1987 novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada, screenwriter Adam struggles to move forward with his life as he remains preoccupied with memories of the past before he meets his mysterious neighbour Harry (Mescal).

As the film blurs the line between life and death it becomes difficult to figure out what is real and what is a creation of Adam's mind.'

[honuofhawaii]

So I have a major angst fic idea but it has some holes in it that I will take suggestions on if anyone is interested in making them…

Explicitly IceMav retelling of Top Gun: Maverick set in 2009.

2009 bc extra devastation of Mav having to conceal the extent of his grief as DADT is not yet repealed, it’s before there were even discussions of the possibility of an appeal.

(This idea spawned out of another short fic idea of the Daggers (or a group of them) celebrating the appeal, and them wanting the invite Mav and Bradley or Penny telling them that Mav isn’t in a celebratory mood bc he’s mourning the fact that his partner didn’t live to see the appeal)

Okay so like I said SO MUCH ANGST!

but here’s some of the problems and the not problems with shifting the timeline:

Okay Mav was a Captain by 2006 so 2009 he’s still a Captain everything is good. Less snide remarks about him “only being a Captain” (but like seriously those were pretty ridiculous in the movie, it is really really difficult to rise to captain and being promoted to admiral is like winning an election)

The problem is Ice. By 2009 he at most might have two stars. Probably only one. He even could still be a Captain. But he’s definitely not the COMPACFLT. I don’t plan on creating new characters to fill Cyclone and Warlock’s shoes, but those characters would also be lower rank, but they need to be high enough that they outrank Mav but not so high they dont outrank Ice. (But like is this even important? Can I just have everyone at the ranks they are in the movie and Ice just had a extremely rapid ascent?)

I fully intend to ignore the fact that Penny only bought the Hard Deck three years prior.

My initial plan has been for Sarah to be Ice’s sister, and she’s there with her kids to help take care of him since Mav can’t actually take leave very often to help. I am open to the idea of a lavender marriage, Sarah being aro, or a lesbian. What do you prefer? And if you prefer the lavender marriage idea I’d love to hear your thoughts on why Sarah wants entered it?

Okay back to a real timeline problem. The Sukhoi Su-57 aka the 5th generation fighters that an F-18 Superhornet does not have the technological advantage over (it’s actually at a disadvantage) didn’t have its first flight until 2010. (And I’m guessing first flight, means test flight, not in production or service yet) so what do I use?! MiG-29’s? Or do I say fuck it again this is Top Gun fanfiction the enemy can have jets that were barely even built yet.

I mean I am letting Mav have Darkstar she’s too pretty not to include! Grant I have less qualms about that bc SR-72 does not officially exist in the real world.

I am worrying a lot about the logistics of a fic that I might never even write. But I’m a nerd, apparently a secret aviation nerd (secret as in I didn’t realize it until I started waxing poetically about how pretty Darkstar and the P-51 were and how I love aviation movies and that people should definitely read and watch the Right Stuff and my friend said “wow I didn’t you you were such a slut for planes”)

Hey if any of this rant struck a cord an you want to write it go right ahead, just let me know I want to read it.

[pigeonprobe]

Dr. Handlove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Stroke Calvin Westra’s Dong

Spoiler alert for the works of Calvin Westra

Calvin Westra is playing in the graveyards of great artists he isn’t even inspired by. With the serialization of his first novella, NEET, he introduces the world to characters in similar dire straits as those in Great Expectations while maintaining the same form. Calvin doesn’t need Dickens or Faulkner. He’s the reason I stole Shoplifting From American Apparel, Taipei, Leave Society, and Bed by Tao Lin. Calvin knows to make something new you have to be new, but you can’t be afraid to recontextualize and repurpose old ideas. 

Calvin’s work is in your face with this fearlessness and global understanding of art forms. He’s cribbed magical realism and told a fantastic tale about olfactory issues and drug use. In “Tarkovsky’s Air Bud” he imagines a new life for the slow cinema pioneer. Calvin can also ruin your day, week, or month, reducing you to tears, in 100 words or less. “Blades of Glass” on Back Patio Press is one of the shortest stories I’ve ever read that I return to often. In Donald Goines it’s understood that people living in the Edo period didn’t know what they don’t know. Westra is aware of the things he doesn’t know, and is unafraid to become a master of the things he does. He makes it look easy and effortless. You don’t see the forty drafts or the hours on end up analyzing the smallest of phrases. Calvin gives you everything hot and ready, digestible, and then he sneaks up on you in your GI tracts and roots himself to a home in your body forever. 

The first moment it settled in with Calvin showing his reader just how much he knows without forcing his reader to think like that is his discussion of the character Emmanuel in Donald Goines. Emmanuel is a kid who has a good and normal life. He is an occasional drug user, but largely unconcerned. He wants to make movies and he describes movies with climactic finishes. Kagu, a rare bird, is bored by these action epics. Donald Goines leaves you sobbing in the end with an exchange over a cup of water. These are small moments that burrow into your soul. Calvin can give you the shootout and ruin your day, but he doesn’t need to go that big. He doesn’t seem to want to. He realizes that’s how you deflate everything else. 

Calvin’s first three major works form a trilogy. It’s up to the reader to decide if that’s what they see. I know it’s what I see. NEET begins with an unemployed man having an encounter experience with a trash monster. In 2018, the trash monster is a golem of guilt and pain and shame. In 2022 the trash monster is introduced in chapter 50 of Donald Goines. He is a puppet made by the Society for the Preservation of Rare Birds and his trademark behavior is insulting people. He says people are not enough. He mocks their voices. The trash monster targets the Great Indian Bustard. Is Great Indian Bustard the protagonist of NEET? Are Oen, Florian, Honduran Emerald, and Ben the same person? I struggle to know if each character is an individual facet of Calvin’s personality or if they are people he knows or both. These characters depict highly specific patterns of people reacting to loss, pain, grief, and alienation. Happy characters that sit alone doing drugs slowly become sad people for the exact same reason. Something bad happens to them and the why looks all different. 

Great Indian Bustard is targeted by the trash monster in chapter 50 and begins puppeteering in chapter 51. Kagu gets the Pig connect first. He frets about it at Tacos. Honduran Emerald is couch surfing, experiencing homelessness, by the time the gang goes to Tacos. Kagu and Honduran Emerald visit the Pig first in chapter 68. They’re concerned for their friend’s dying sinuses. They want better drugs because they won’t stop drugs. By chapter 74 almost the entire Society for the Preservation of Rare Birds is visiting to get drugs. It takes one friend, one neg, one good moment, and everyone is in. It doesn’t feel like it could be something risky at the start. It’s friends. Together. 

Honduran Emerald works to ignore the puppets in the same way he works to ignore the Radios manager and his Chemistry teacher. In NEET the first encounter with the monster is a debate as to if this is in Ben’s head or not. There will always be someone reminding you you’re not enough, usually the part of you you don’t want to be you. Even if that’s not true the security guards remind you that someone will be there to tell you. Someone will always find a reason to remind you as to why you’re not enough. It’s easy to want to silence that with drugs. 

Calvin is concerned with evil. In Family Annihilator Lee and Oen are both meditating on their relationship to evil. Oen is writing Family Annihilator which is about a lot of things. Lee loses access to her medicine and is concerned with the possibility that she’s an evil person, evil to her core. Lee is concerned about delivering an effective speech to her AA group. Evil and bad because her family said so. Evil and bad because she is. So evil and bad that recovery is the only option. This was my introduction to the works of Calvin Westra. In the trilogy this piece likely comes last. This piece comes last because it is about the redemption, moving forward from what we can’t change, acknowledging those things and using them as building blocks to make something better. Goines is the first part. We watch the creation of the antagonist of NEET. NEET is the middle, an extended precontemplation stage that explores just how much movement happens in inertia. The desperation to change your life with art and then see that your life is not understood is palpable. 

What is this all about? Evil. Maybe the loneliness or felt isolation that leads us to evil. Maybe the ways we isolate after encountering the evil. Calvin implies that evil is around us and we can partake in it, but that doesn’t guarantee that we’re evil people. Some people do evil things and change their lives. It is as simple as that. Some people do evil things because they’re coerced. Some people do evil things because they’re lured. Some people are evil even when they’re not because they’ve decided that’s how they are known. 

In my first read of Family Annihilator I was put off and distressed. Why are their lines that to me seemed without point referencing people strapped to hospital beds claiming to be raped by staff? There’s concern that the massage therapist in the intro has done something bad. The narrative is circular, ending where it starts, asking you to wonder what the entire chronology is. Calvin Westra’s work nonjudgmentally explores how someone winds up in situations that the statistically average or above average person would not imagine themselves in. 

Statistically average is central in Donald Goines. When Honduran Emerald is kicked out of his home it is an aside in a paragraph in the Tacos chapter. It’s not central to that chapter’s point, which is about having a better drug connect and blabbing about it at the wrong time. When Dunie gets kicked out her parents tell her all the ways they tried to love her. They force her to be aware of the things they did, not just out of love, but to guarantee their child was not a drug user. As a drug user she’s kicked out of the home. She’s ostracized from her family. She is not given the opportunity to recognize a mistake and begin again. The love is rescinded, making you wonder if it existed at all. 

Dunie gets addicted to drugs because she’s in love. Dunie does drugs once, just to see. She does them because her boyfriend is a user. He asks her to come buy drugs with him so she can get more. He says it will be weird, completely understating the reality of the situation. Honduran Emerald is introduced as a guy willing to put people into bad situations for his own benefit, but he’s still our hero. He’s at least one of them. She is traumatized from the sexual assault of a drug dealer, but enjoys the drugs enough to risk all the hurt again. She wonders about using alone, just a little, to regulate how much she needs and guarantee a good time. She wants to use alone to make it cheaper, to get some free drugs regardless of the psychological toll, and to have the experience she wants. She wonders about how to have a good relationship to the drugs. She wonders about her wonder. She didn’t want to be a drug user, but the first time was fun and maybe the next time will be closer to the last time. She’s in love with a young man who doesn’t realize he’s scary. This man doesn’t scare Dunie in the way he scares a homeless man on the street or other drug users. It’s implied he scares people in school. When her addiction takes over and they stop speaking she is afraid of him. She is afraid he’ll show up. The relationship is described as “rocky” once and an outside observer says it’s obvious you two had problems. These lines hit like bricks, they’re never returned to, and it’s up to you to remember how to weigh their importance in the face of scoring drugs. 

I started doing drugs again because I met a woman that didn’t like drinking and did like pot. I stopped dating people or stopped dates when they’d try to get me to do coke. I’m more of a scaredy cat than I let on, but most see that. My pot habit was nice, because I am in love. I love to drugs with my partner. That’s true. It still is. I’ve also watched something fun become something I need. Not so fun to think about. Where I live it’s okay to be addicted to pot. I don’t drive high. I take a lot of naps. Unless I’m going to aspirate on my vomit or have an asthma attack while passed out I won’t die. People think this is pretty okay. Not really a user’s user. I’ve had sex for drugs, but I was also having sex to have sex. A meal too. I felt like I was gonna puke, from the drugs probably, a lot of the time doing that. Not a user’s user. My family doesn’t speak to me really, but they’ve got their problems too. Not a user’s user. Calvin destroys these walls. I’m not someone losing everything. Not like I’ve seen in my family. I don’t have much though. I have degrees I refuse to use in their fields. I write for myself, which I see as my actual life preservation, and I am a drain on a lot of people. More than I’d like to be. 

Calvin’s work speaks to me. I am a NEET, hoping to end that part of my existence. I have an intense addiction to pot, which many claim isn’t a real addiction, that has had debilitating effects on my life. I don’t do anything and it’s getting to the point where I can’t afford to exist that way. I struggle with my relationship to alcohol. At points in my life I’ve been called a gamma species alcoholic due to my family predisposition and daily college drinking habit. My mother drinks every day and isn’t an alcoholic because she functioned well enough to retire. My dad is an alcoholic who has lied about his sobriety at many turns. He likely never hit the four or five years he claims. If he did he was white knuckling and dry. As his illnesses got worse and it was understood he’d never get his license back he started drinking in secret. 

Calvin understands those pivot points. It isn’t what is happening until it’s over. It isn’t what’s happening until it’s been years and then years have flown by in a moment. These lives are high stakes at every moment, like the inability to shit on opiods, and blunted to the point of near unfeeling, like each business being a destination for only one thing. When you’re on drugs you get Tacos. For me it’s Gyros. You go to Gods or you don’t, because you don’t wake up early. Life is as simple as those small choices. It’s hard to make those choices. It’s hard to commit to any choices, and some make the commitment for you. 

If you read the first sentence of each chapter as its own story in Donald Goines you get a smooth portrait of people visiting a dealer, first as individuals and then everyone. You get the dealer obsessed with sex and violence, a victim of violence. You don’t get the why’s of the users. You get the why of the dealer. You see Duniei get lured in, stop thinking about school and work, and start thinking about collecting cans. You see relationships fray and fall apart. Calvin’s work builds laterally and vertically. You can read NEET, Family Annihilator, and Donald Goines as a large epic. You can read them as individual stories of vice and painful histories. You wonder if the sex cult is different from the Society for the Preservation of Rare Birds. It must be. It’s the beautiful men in the cult. They have money. I think they’re on the sports teams. You don’t know much of anything about the users in Goines. You know The Pig is fat so most people must be thinner than him. The detail is in the body damage. Loss of smell, cuts up the arms, sinuses failing and constant colds. The drugs disconnect you from your mind and your body. They make one run on autopilot and the other move slow. The sex cult targets people with disabilities, visual or otherwise. I reread the book and think about the baby arm girl at my school. I think about how she was nice to me and everyone. I think about how beautiful she was. I think about how I thought about if people manipulated her then, because of her arm. 

Calvin Westra is one of my favorite writers and he knows this. He trusts his readers to find things on their own. He doesn’t need to explain to you. He may even acknowledge that you’ve found something he hasn’t. He isn’t concerned if you bounce off his writing or don’t get it. He knows that it’s there for those who are willing to engage and time will tell all truths. I hope Donald Goines continues to grow in popularity. I hope it encourages people to read all of his work. I think Calvin Westra is one of the best writers working today, and I know he knows it, and I wish I could be as cool as him watching the world begin to catch up. 

This is your loyal observer at Pigeon Probe. Remember to look up for the shit!

[corneroffandom]

Weekly Writing Update #96 (May 5th, 2025)

Quick reminder: in four weeks, we're going to hit the 100th WWU and I'm going to open up some bonus posts on twitter/tumblr/ko-fi for anyone who wants to ask me questions. Anyone interested, keep it in mind!

This week's been pretty good, writing wise. I'm making steady progress on things, and kept up with the weeklies, even though I went to the movies Thursday and completely knocked myself off schedule with a couple of things, haha. It was fun at least! I'm hoping to have a few things finished this coming week, but we'll see. One idea keeps growing… and growing… and growing. I don't know how long it'll be but, yeah, probably pretty damn long! I hope everyone enjoys it when I post it. Anyway, I'm going to post this and then go watch some DPW, so I'll be back next week with another update! See ya then.

Back to Basics: 439 World Wrestling Digidestined: 365 Encontrar una Manera: 407 Back to Earth: 838 Encontrar una Manera bonus story: 0 New Years 2023: 16 New Years 2024: 20 The Split: 28 Exhaustion: 62 Spiraling: 51 Strangers: 27 Fathers: 24 Julia's Price: 6381 Searching: 42 Bringing Cheer: 38 Grief: 26 Here For You: 188 Our Day: 1693 Ilja's Plan: 42 Bad Day: 90 Sixteen: 0 Renatus: 0 Passenger: 0 Evidence: 0 Sensatus: 0 In total: 10777 Annual Word Count: 118876 New fic plot notes: 4 Team Work chapters booked: 0 Old fics uploaded to AO3: 0

Find me on Ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/corneroffandom Any questions or comments, please let me know!

[project1939]

Day 60- Film: Europa 51 

Release date: September 12th, 1952. 

Studio: Lux Film 

Genre: Drama, Italian neo-realism 

Director: Roberto Rossellini 

Producer: Roberto Rossellini, Carlo Ponti, Dino De Laurentiis 

Actors: Ingrid Bergman, Alexander Knox 

Plot Summary: Affluent Irene lives in Italy with her husband and young son. When her son dies suddenly, and it may have been a suicide, she falls apart. Spending time with her leftwing activist cousin, she starts performing works of charity for the poor, ill, and disadvantaged. This soothes her pain of grief, and the work becomes all-consuming for her. Her family and the authorities, however, come to believe she is mentally ill. 

My Rating (out of five stars): ****½ 

We’ve arrived at our first foreign language film of the project! I added in a couple, but the focus of the project is really Hollywood and mainstream American media. I was excited to see this- Italian neo-realism is one of my favorite film genres. I saw Stromboli in a class years ago, but that is the only Bergman/Rossellini film I’d seen prior to this. Europa 51 is classic neo-realism- gritty and dark, filled with topics Hollywood would never touch, a raw style that gives the genre its name... even the post dubbed sound... I really enjoyed it. 

The Good: 

Ingrid Bergman. I saw the Italian language version, and she was dubbed by an Italian actress, but even so, you couldn’t take your eyes off of her.  

Her husband was played by the doctor in the movie Paula! I knew I had seen him somewhere. He was effective as well, although he was also dubbed by an Italian. 

Giulietta Masina! I was thrilled when I saw her name come up in the credits. She’s an actress I absolutely adore- she's so unique and charming. La Strada is always near the top of my favorite films list. She was great in this- very colorful and fun. 

The style. As mentioned, it was classic neo-realism, and I loved it. 

The topics addressed that would never be in a Hollywood film. Topics like child suicide, prostitutes, a sympathetic guy with communist beliefs, an unwed mother just living her life raising children and enjoying the company of men, religious leaders portrayed in a somewhat negative light... All of these things make the film very modern- way ahead of Hollywood in subject matter. 

The way most of the world cannot understand Irene’s total selfless devotion to suffering people. She’s not compelled by either religious or political beliefs... so, by their standards, she must be insane. It’s a very sad indictment of the way those who run society think. 

The detailed little snapshots we get of the people Irene is drawn to help- the prostitute with tuberculosis, the unwed mother who takes in orphaned children, the family of a sick little boy, even the family with a criminal for a son. 

One of the final shots of the group of people she helped when they came to visit Irene at the hospital. It was very moving. 

The digs at the church leaders. The priest who comes to see Irene doesn’t like her full devotion to charity. “We must do good, but carefully as God dictates.” He gave off creepy vibes. Why, as a priest, did it disturb him that she was essentially living like a saint? 

The Bad: 

Irene could sometimes be drawn as maybe a little too saintly... but then am I just falling a bit into the trap of the society that condemned her? 

For such a gritty realistic film with real looking people, the mental hospital she was put in was teeming with very attractive women. It just made me laugh a little. 

Sometimes I don’t always love the post recorded and dubbed sound in Italian films of this era, but I’ve also come to appreciate it as a characteristic of neo-realist films. 

[cigarettes-and-black-eyeliner]

Aight I will!!(also I forgot to say but i also have a Ride The Cyclone google drive folder with A LOT of stuff so i can send that one to you too if you wanna)

And yeah I guess it is! Thanks! Honestly I actually wanna worship the greek gods too? Like if I worshipped a pantheon it would be the greek one.

Yess!!!! She's lovely!

Also I completely forgot but I like a few other musicals too!

-The Mad Ones-its about grief and driving(i suck at descriptions but believe me its awesome). Also a dead teenager, again.

-Dreamland-An over-the-top, B-movie-style musical comedy with a score that blends contemporary musical theatre pop with the smooth sounds of the 1950s, Dreamland is a musical riff on Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night's Dream, set during the declassification of Area 51.(yes i copied the description from the internet, anyway its good.)

i know u like music, but like, what are your favourite musicals, if you have any?(if you dont mind me asking)

And if you do, what are they about? And what are your favourite songs from them? :)

ohohoho-

haven't listened to any musicals in a while, but some of my favourites are

jekyll and hyde: the gothic musical thriller (and i am talking about the concept album, that has anthony warlow interpreting jekyll and hyde. the official on-broadway album is kinda meh imo)

so like. the producer of the musical was disappointed in the original gothic novella written by robert louis stevenson (the strange case of doctor henry jekyll and mister edward hyde), so they decided to make a musical about it, adding thier own vision, some new characters and subplots etc etc, while still following the main plot

main plot that is about Henry Jekyll, a silly doctor that wants to separate the good and evil from one another, hoping to eliminate all evil in the world in the process. while his intentions are good, the results of his actions aren't as good <\3 there's more to it, of course, but silly spoilers i guess- tho i can tell u more if you wanna, just let me know!

as for favourite songs we have i need to know, lisa carew, board of governors, bring on the men (tw suggestive), alive and the girls of the night

also good and evil (this is like. the only song i like from the OBC recordings)

beetlejuice

i guess u already know this one, most probably- so idk if there's any need to summarise this one (tho let me know if you don't know it and stuff)

favourite songs are dead mom, fright of their lives, say my name and that beautiful sound

six: the musical

and the silly musical about the six wives of Henry the VIII, basically each queen telling her own story

favourite songs are don't lose your head and all you wanna do (tw suggestive)

bonnie and clyde: the musical

this one's about the infamous american criminal couple, bonnie elizabeth parker and clyde chestnut barrow! kinda takes you through the story of their life before and after breaking the law which is super neat and the songs absolutely slap!!!

favourite silly songs are picture show, this world will remember me, how 'bout a dance?, this world will remember us, too late to turn back now and dying ain't so bad (my girl laura can hit such high notes i am going insane-)

[trashywormeateroffics]

The right universe masterlist:

Chapter 1: A white circle in the sky. 

Chapter 2: In which Y/N meets The Avengers. 

Chapter 3: The first movie night. 

Chapter 4: 177A Bleecker Street. 

Chapter 5: Family. 

Chapter 6: A raven haired god. 

Chapter 7: The god of fun. 

Chapter 8: Heartache and a chick flick. 

Chapter 9: Supervised training. 

Chapter 10: Do you think I'm cool?

Chapter 11: Cats and hugs. 

Chapter 12: Early riser. 

Chapter 13: Powerful magic. 

Chapter 14: Making Steve Rogers cry. 

Chapter 15: Things that shouldn't be said. 

Chapter 16: I'm sorry. 

Chapter 17: Just a crush. 

Chapter 18: New Asgard. 

Chapter 19: Swiftie night. 

Chapter 20: Under attack. 

Chapter 21: Sacrifice. 

Chapter 22: I care about you, you stupid god! 

Chapter 23: invisible string. 

Chapter 24: Jealousy. 

Chapter 25: Grief. 

Chapter 26: Where is Y/N? 

Chapter 27: The rescue. 

Chapter 28: The rescue, part II. 

Chapter 29: I love you. 

Chapter 30: Therapy for blowing up people. 

Chapter 31: Sneaking around. 

Chapter 32: Family of two. 

Chapter 33: Coming clean. 

Chapter 34: Friends want the best for the other. 

Chapter 35: Sigyn. 

Chapter 36: Sigyn part II. 

Chapter 37: Home bittersweet home. 

Chapter 38: The solution. 

Chapter 39: Graveyard of rotten flowers. 

Chapter 40: Welcome home. 

Chapter 41: Good morning, sunshine. 

Chapter 42: Sisters. 

Chapter 43: Halloweentown. 

Chapter 44: Maybe you don't suck. 

Chapter 45: Voices. 

Chapter 46: Maybe I can be happy again. 

Chapter 47: Morgan. 

Chapter 48: Part II: Life is good. 

Chapter 49: Put a ring on it.

Chapter 50: Happy birthday. 

Chapter 51: Let's get this bitch. 

Chapter 52: Maybe the bitch is right.

Chapter 53: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Chapter 54: The plan.

Chapter 55: The dagger of death.

Chapter 56: Hello Hela, Bye bye Sigyn.

Chapter 57: Endgame.

[magicpotatoobsession]

MASTERLIST OF MY GIVEN METAS

Sometimes I may review the same scenarios/characters through different lenses! My opinions may also change overtime too so please keep that in mind while reading! This list will be linked in purple at the end of EVERY META POST so you can catch up on all my metas that I've released thus far

Another way to find all my metas is to search up #metapotato

---

Most recent post listed at the top ⬆️and oldest post at the bottom ⬇️within each category!

Given and Music as a Storytelling Device

How head-pats in Given headcanons can predict Ue's CAREER in music

The PECULIAR link between Paternal Idolisation and Music (Ugetsu and Yuki)

Bassists & whacking people on the head

Mafuyu’s existential crisis with Music - torn between trauma and identity

Why it seemed a bit suss that Mafuyu knew nothing about music at the start of Given (creating music alone vs. creating music with someone)

My Band is my Family Part 2 (Akihiko, Mafuyu and Hiiragi)

My Band is my Family Part 1 (Haruki and Uenoyama)

What the new Yuki-Ueno song could mean 

Given and Musical Analysis

SYH Straight Musical Easter Eggs

How the chords in the Given Anime Opening ‘Kizuato’ can PREDICT Mafuyu’s future

Every EASTER EGG in Fuyu no Hanashi ~Orchestra ver.~ that had me in tears

Uragawa no Sonzai’s musical easter eggs

The EXTRAORDINARY link between Akigetsu and Tchaikovsky’s Violin Concerto in D

the GENIUS of Fuyu no Hanashi is in the melody itself 

Given Themes, Symbolism and Storytelling

Given Movie Hiiragi Mix Thoughts Shizu and Yuki’s relationship explained

This is why the Given Manga is ending....

The REAL reason as to why the band name was decided so quickly

Ue's facerub is HARUKI'S FACERUB??!!

Did Ue fall in love at first sight?

Mirrors in Given Headcanons EXPLAINED (Symbolism of boxes, Tokens in Given)

Discovering the true intention behind Shizu’s actions in Mix_8 completely changed how I saw the Shizuragi ship

Uenoyama Ritsuka’s facerubs must be protected at all costs

Seven Mafuyu moments that made me choke on my tea (“self contradictory type neko” explained)

Eight small but Tell-Tale signs on the Complex Dynamics of Mafuyama

Mafuyu and Akihiko - from Perceptive FBIs to D&M Besties

Why a Huge Part of the fandom is hung up on MafuYuki

A revelation on Akihiko and THAT SCENE

Given Chapter Thoughts

Ch 51/Mix_21 initial thoughts

Favourite Panel in Ch 50/Mix_20

Why Ch 43/Mix 13 is the most UNDERRATED chapter ever 

Ch 42/Mix_12 Initial Thoughts (Shizu and Ue’s Conversation)

Given Character Deep Dives

Ugetsu 1.0 and 2.0 similarities and differences and what he teaches Mafuyu

Does Uenoyama Ritsuka have a Hero's complex?

Uenoyama Ritsuka the munchkin cat

Five things I adore about Take-chan

Sato Mafuyu Part 2 (Healing, Love Languages)

Sato Mafuyu Part 1 (Personality, Grief and Love, Attachment Style)

Ugetsu Murata - (Personality, Music, Attachment Style, Love Languages, Healing)

CURRENT WORD COUNT: 55,000

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Metas by Other Tumblr Bloggers

Also you can find a list of my favourite metas by other Tumblr bloggers if you're using Tumblr on your Computer/Laptop. It's an ever-growing database as well. Under the OTHER AMAZING METAS TAB!

I hope that this helps deepen your appreciation for Kizu sensei's work! As always, my ASK ME ANYTHING is open! Please try and use that route to reach me if it's a question that would spark a good public discussion! If my reply to your question accidentally turns into a META (oops), it may take a while for me to get back to you. But I will try my best to reply to all Qs! (please word them respectfully) Otherwise feel free to message me and I'll respond when I can, it might not be as detailed of a response tho!

Happy reading! <3

[forever-rogue]

Hii! From Prompt List 1 can u do number 3,51 and 243 w javier peña please ✨

Also i love ur writings so much ⭐

3. "Am I supposed to be scared of you?"

51. "Go on them, tell me. Tell me you don't love me."

243. "Oh my God, you're in love with her!"

Enjoy!

Javier Peña x Fem!Reader ; warnings: language

Javier Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Tell me," there was nothing but venom lacing your voice as you stared at Javier. Your face was slick with tears as you tried to keep your lips from trembling. You wanted to break down, gods knew you did, but you weren't about to give him the satisfaction. You would do that as soon as he walked out of your apartment for what would be the last time, "go on then, tell me. Tell me you don't love me."

"Don't do this cariño," the bastard had the audacity to try and call you by your pet name, "you know this is the way. The only way."

"You're such a damn liar," you hissed at him. You should have seen this coming. You should have known. 

You shouldn't have fallen in love with Javier Peña.

"We always knew what we were doing was wrong," it was a meek insistence, hollow and empty and neither of you quite believed it, "it was never supposed to go this far."

"This far? This far?" you wanted to scream, to grab his shoulders and shake him, to knock some sort of sense into him, but instead you just stared at him, eyes glossy with unshed tears, "did you think we would fuck and that’s it? I told you it was never going to be just that. And you never seemed to have a problem with that."

"You need to stop," this time it was more firm and his nostrils flared as he tried to control the hit of rage that had seemed into his bones, "we both knew what this was from the start. It was just sex."

"You're here, in my apartment, lying to my face," you sniffled as you dabbed at your eyes and wished you would wake up to find this was a horrible dream. You wished you'd wake up, wrapped in his arms while he slept soundly, like you had so many other times. You wished, you wished, you wished. But that didn't change the reality of the situation, nor the gravitas of it, "if you can look in my eyes and tell me you don't love me - never loved me - do it. If you can do it, I'll let this go."

"You're being ridiculous," he huffed and rolled his eyes ever so slightly as his hands went to his hips. 

"I'm being ridiculous?" your voice rose up about two octaves as you realized just how hysterical you did sound. But it didn't matter - once Javier had made up his mind, he was a stubborn piece of work. But you refused to let this go, "I'm not the grown man that won't even admit his own feelings. That runs every time something comes up. That shuts out everyone and everything anytime it gets real."

"Maybe you're just thinking too much into this!" and there it was - the fiery temper that he was famous for. It wasn't shocking because it had suddenly jumped out; it was shocking because he'd never raised his voice at you, "maybe you just want to make something out of nothing! It was never anything - it was just sex. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Am I supposed to be scared of you?" you raised your voice and yelled back with just as much as anger and spite as he spit at you, "you're a liar and a coward. You can't even look at me - if you don't love me fucking tell me!"

"I'm not doing this right now," he huffed as stepped over the threshold, shoulders rising and falling in rapid movements as tired to control his anger, "I'm done - whatever we had, its over now."

"Javier," you tried to reach for his hand, but he was quick to pull out of your grasp, causing you to sigh heavily, "don't walk away - not like this."

"There's nothing left to say," he insisted quietly, staring at the floor, rather than daring to look in your eyes, "I'll see you at work and that's that. Everything else is done. Obviously you cannot handle this."

"You're just going to walk away," you were incredulous as a few tears of grief and anger rolled down your cheeks, "fuck you, Javier. I hate you." 

You slammed the door shut before he could say anything else. Tears were heavily pouring down your cheeks and spilling onto the cool slide as you sank to the floor. Small ugly little sobs racked your body as you gave up and in to your pathetic inner, upset self. You loved him, you really, really did. You knew that. 

You knew he loved you too. You knew he was scared. Damn scared. And it was okay - if he would have opened up to you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“You look like shit,” Steve barely looked up from his coffee and morning review of documents as Javier stormed in, practically slamming himself down in his chair. He groaned and flipped Steve the middle finger before reaching for his cigarettes, effortlessly lighting it up and leaning back, “what happened to you?”

Javier closed his eyes but remained silent, a vain attempt at letting his mind wander too far. He hadn’t slept the night before, mind and thoughts racing over and over with snippets of his conversation with you. Your words had stuck in his mind all night: coward, coward, coward. And you had been right. 

He was a coward; pathetic and scared all because he didn’t want to risk getting hurt. Or hurting you. And in the end he had managed to do both. It was never supposed to go this far, it was never supposed to be anything more than sex, but the lines had become so blurred and so fast, and before he knew - he was in love.

And that terrified the shit out of him. 

So he reacted how he tended to do; to push you away. To isolate himself. It was supposed to be easy, supposed to work. All it had down was leave him with regret eating him up alive. He should have admitted you were right, he should have confessed. If there was anyone worth taking a chance on - it was you. He’d known it was you from the first time you’d had sex it was just...different. Different from every other experience he’d had. And gods, how he’d slowly fallen for all the little things you did, all your little quirks. 

Your smile, that laugh, those eyes that seemed to convey a million emotions at once. Your steadfast stubbornness, the fact that you always called him on his bullshit, how you never backed down from confrontation, how you gave so much to others and asked for so little. How you’d chide him for getting even a papercut, and how you’d love him, even when he didn’t ask you to. How you;d take him in your arms, wordlessly, and give him everything he needed and then some, how you’d chase away his fears and pain. How - 

Everything. 

He was in deep, and when it came down to the wire, he’d run. Like a liar and a coward. 

His eyes snapped open and landed on the desk, the spot you normally occupied and found it empty. A scowl tugged on his features as his brows knitted together, “where is she?”

“Hmm?” Steve looked back up and followed Javi’s line of sight before he shrugged lightly, “I talked to her this morning, said she wasn’t feeling good.”

“Bullshit,” he hissed under his breath, just enough for Steve to hear, “did she say when she’s coming back?”

“I dunno, Javi,” Steve sighed heavily, “she’s a grown woman, if she’s not feeling well, she’s not feeling well. She’ll be back when she’s better. Calm down.”

“Steve-”

“Oh god - you’re in love with her. Aren’t you?” the smirk tugging on his features was undeniable as Javier rolled his eyes but refused to look over, “I knew it - everyone knew it.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” his mouth went dry as he looked at his partner and felt like slamming his head against the wall. Of course. It’s so obvious.

“I mean...it’s just...everyone’s known, Javi,” Steve couldn’t help but laugh at the surprised look on his face, “it’s so obvious. You’re different because of her - for her. You might be the last person to know. Shit...you haven’t told her, have you?”

Javier made a small sound in his throat but otherwise remained silent as he stared at your desk. Not feeling well my ass, he thought to himself before running a hand over his tired face. 

But you didn’t come back the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or - 

Shit. He had really messed up. 

You were all he could think about, plaguing his waking and sleeping hours as he tried to figure out what to do. His mind was on you as he sat in the office and smoked cigarette after cigarette and glossed over paperwork. You were in his every thought as he and Steve chased after some of Escobar’s men; so much that he almost slipped up and let them get away. 

By Friday afternoon, he couldn’t handle it any longer. This was ridiculous and he was going to put an end to it all, one way or another.

Javier almost jumped out of his seat, grabbing his leather jacket and half empty pack of cigarettes without a word as he stormed out of the office. Steve barely looked up in time to catch him, his question dying on his tongue as he watched his partner storm out. He didn’t have to ask to know exactly what was going on.

Finally, he thought to himself shaking his head, finally. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Open the door," Javier's voice was commanding but it still managed to shake as he rapped his knuckles against the peeling paint of your door, "cariño, I know you're in there…"

And you were. You were curled up on the couch in your pajamas, an empty bottle of wine on the table as an old, cheesy romance movie played in the background. The lights were off and you were tired, but you still couldn't manage to find sleep. 

You'd avoided going into the office for the last couple of days, feigning illness and earning a scoff from the ambassador, but nothing else was said. In the time you'd been in Colombia, you'd never so much as used a single sick day, so they didn't question you. But of course your partners did. Well, one of them. The other had known exactly what was going and it had been eating him up inside, even if he wasn't ready to admit it.

But his little heart to heart with Steve had inspired him - practically shoved him in the right direction. You'd been on his mind rent free since he'd left. Hell - for much longer than that.

"Go away," you managed to croak out before burrowing further into your pillow, feeling a fresh wave of tears spill down your cheeks at his presence. Knowing you almost had him but didn't was heartbreaking, "you made it clear we have nothing, Javier.”

“Open the damn door,” there was a tone in his voice that you hadn’t heard before - was that...desperation? Javier paused and sighed heavily, “please. I-I...fuck, I fucked up.”

“If you’re going to play some sort of cruel joke, save your breath,” you huffed, “like you said, we are nothing. We’ll be work partners and that’s it.”

There was a beat of silence and a part of you thought he left, you were almost relieved at the thought. But before you knew it, you heard the keys jingling in the lock and the door opened; you cursed yourself for giving him a spare set. Either way, he probably could have figured out how to get in anyways. He just couldn’t let it go.

“Cariño,” he came and swiftly made his way over to you, frowning when he saw you all curled up and the discarded mess around you, "I-"

"Go away, Javi," it was a pathetic plea as you glanced up at him. His heart felt it was going to shatter and break at the sight of your red, glossy eyes as you sniffled at him, "haven't you done enough? Or should I be apologizing for having feelings and being honest about them?"

"I should be begging you for forgiveness," he dropped to his knees beside you, a hand tentatively reaching out to you, as he tried to see if you would pull away. Despite wanting to, instead wishing you could yell and scream, you stay rooted in position as he gently pushed your hair out of your hair. He brushed his thumb gently over your cheek as your eyes fluttered closed at the familiar touch, "I am so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" your brow furrowed at his words, "you made yourself very clear."

"I fucked up - you're right. I am a liar and a coward," he confessed as your eyes snapped back open to meet his. They were gentle, softened in the corners with the crinkles that you adored so much, "I realized I had feelings and I panicked. I shut you out and hurt you."

"My head hurts, Javier," you sighed slightly, "just get to the point."

"I love you," he admitted and suddenly it felt your heart had dropped into your stomach as you stared at him. He was sure you must have heard the wild beating of his heart as he tried to anticipate your reaction, "I-I'm in love with you."

"If this is your idea of a joke," you moved his hand away and sat up, trying to prepare yourself for any possibility, "its even more fucked up than just breaking my heart. I knew what this started this and I should have stopped it when I started to catch feelings but I-"

But Javier didn't let you say anything further. Instead, he cut you off by crashing his lips onto yours and kissing you deeply - slowly and with meaning. It was an easy dance, one you'd done hundreds of times before. But this time just felt...different.

His arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you close, and yours wound around his neck. Effortless and easy, just like everything with him was. It was anything frenzied or hurried, but slow and gentle as he tried to convey his every thought and feeling through his touch. He thought his heart might burst when he felt your smile whilst his lips, as you carded a hand through his dark locks.

Only when you were both breathless and drunk off of each other did you pull apart. He stared at you, his gaze soft as you grabbed his face and delicately cradled it before pressing another kiss to his lips.

"I hope this means what I think it means or I'm going to have to murder you," you whispered against his lips, as his own tugged into a smile, "because I am in love you and I don't know if I can ever change that."

"It means I'm an idiot," he admitted, "a cowardly fool that ran when things got real - although they were always real. Its obvious, isn't it? I just never realized."

"That's because you gave a thick skull, Peña," you gently tapped a knuckle against the side of his head, "and you need to learn to be more open - with me anyway. You don't have to be afraid, Javi. Not with me; I'm not going anywhere, you know that. I know you - the real you - and nothing about you scares me or whatever you think it is. I love you and that means every little bit of you."

"I…" he paused for a moment, inhaling and exhaling slowly as your words washed over him. His heart had never felt warmer or more light as he realized the immense weight your words held. He closed his eyes and nodded, gently pressing his forehead against yours, "I love you. Fully and completely cariño. Even if I am an idiot."

"My idiot," you promised softly, "just talk to me next time, okay? Don't run and hide - stay with me. It'll be okay, you will always have me."

"Fuck," he whispered as he pulled you into his arms and wrapped you up in the tightest hug possible, "I'm sorry - so sorry. I love you."

"I love you, Javier," you whispered, "stay with me?"

"Always."

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[kckenobi]

Hellooo ❤️ 12, 20, 51, 57, 92 for the ask! So many good questions!

Hello Ann!! Sorry lol I reblogged those and then promptly fell asleep on the couch again

12—Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.?

There's this book called What Dreams May Come where the main character eventually finds out that he and his wife are soulmates who have been reincarnated hundreds of times and found each other in each one, but the relationship isn't always romantic—like they were twin siblings once, mother and daughter, lovers, friends—and I love that thought. And I like to think I knew my best friend and possibly my brother in a previous life if that were a thing!

20—Do you want a grand adventure?

Yes, but I think my idea of a grand adventure has changed a lot since I was a kid. Like, my journal entries when I was like 12 were all about this deep desire to explore and change the world and experience everything big and wide (which is, you know, pretty much what it is to be 12). But now when I think of what it means to "experience everything," I think of it more as to have really lived in the little ways, to have my heart broken and say what I feel and make mistakes and change one person's world instead of thousands. Like, just fully experiencing what it means to be human I guess? Even if that adventure never takes me geographically far at all.

51—What question could you ask to find out the most about a person?

What does happiness look like to you?

57—Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

Idk because for me, yeah it's cool to be taken to another place by these things, but I think more than anything they're a comfort?? Like yes Star Wars is about space wizards but it's also about grief and love and attachment and the difference between them all, and yes Hill House is about ghosts and haunted places but it's also about family and secrets and how a beautiful thing is also a terrible thing and how we become who we are. And those themes aren't so much an escape from life, as a way back to it knowing someone else has been there before. And you'll grapple with them too, and be okay.

92—Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

I picked up Spanish from my family as a kid but there was so much English too that without using it, I lost a lot. I can have a simple convo in Spanish, ask the important questions and understand the answers, but I don't call myself bilingual because that's barely anything lol

deep questions

[rotgsecretsanta]

2020 Secret Santa Masterlist!

Here are all of the works posted for RotG Secret Santa 2020 as of January 31, 2021!

Prompt 3:  I wish for something Sandy related. Maybe something featuring dreams and golden signs. If one or many other Guardians are in it, it would be cool, but not necessary. ;) Art by sp00kfr0st

Prompt 4:  Strange relationship between Pitch and Jack before Jack died. The Man From the Dark and a boy who sees him, both longing for someone. Oh, and Pitch losing the only human that saw him, believed in him and loved him. You’ll be Okay by hezuart Longer Longing by winterswrathe

Prompt 5:  Bunnymund/Pitch Black - Anything goes, from fluff to angst, in art or fic. Just no Noncon please. Art by winterswrathe

Prompt 6:  Orchestra Art by bunnimew

Prompt 7:  NDU Proto/Jack (the only two people in the dorms during the holidays) I Can See Your Ghosts by sylphidine

Prompt 8: Perchance Jack's complicated relationship with the moon? Arguing? Grief? Confusion?  Comic by hezuart

Prompt 10:  Rainbow Snowcone (Jack Frost / Tooth Fairy) Can be anything, just please no NSFW! :D Art by ladyfr0st

Prompt 13:  A reverse-power AU, with Jack Black and Pitch Frost? Art by insert-skill-here

Prompt 15:  Tooth/Pitch Black - Anything goes. Fluff or angst, art or fic. Just no Noncon please. Art by overmooneleven

Prompt 16:  Something with Jack and Pitch! Call It What You Want by askwenjing

Prompt 17:  How all of the Guardians are doing with covid and how the world is. Fic by apropoptosis Epiphany by askwenjing

Prompt 18:  Jack/older Jamie - Jamie is getting bullied or is having a hard time making friends and Jack comes to visit him at college. Shielded in my Armor by Sylphidine

Prompt 19:  (No ship) Pitch, North, and those horror movies where Santa is the villain. Nightmare After Christmas by bunnimew

Prompt 21:  MIM!!! With his past, create an angst piece of homesickness and loss. Art by ksclaw

Prompt 22:  Dark Jack/Uncorrupted Kozmotis (Pirate/Navy sort of vibe) Fic by apropoptosis Never Lands by eclipseyeger High Seas Hijinks by bunnimew

Prompt 26:  North carrying pitch, bridal style. (Otp) Art by ksclaw

Prompt 29:  Sandman and Pitch Black playing chess in an old garden. Art, please. Art by ladyfr0st Art by nimohtar

Prompt 32:  Jack's cute little Sister Emma Knows Best by bunnimew

Prompt 33:  (before the events of RotG) Jack loves to dance on his own under the moonlight. One day he notices Pitch watching him and invites him to join. Art by bunnimew

Prompt 35:  Tooth with a sweater/jumper. Art by sp00kfr0st

Prompt 36:  Dark Jack/Pitch (u kno ;) ) Art by ladyfr0st Don’t Blame Me by askwenjing

Prompt 38:  epilogue to the movie, maybe Jack checking on Pitch later out of sympathy? Afterglow by askwenjing Art by ladyfr0st

Prompt 40:  Captain Pitch J Black on the Nightmare Galleon Art by ksclaw

Prompt 43:  Pitch black with dreamsand butterflies A Dream Too Good to be True by askwenjing

Prompt 44:  Gen, no pairings, the main Guardians and Pitch book or film characters, any kind of AU (pirates, cowboys, royalty etc), fancy costumes etc (No gender swap/crossdressing) Knights and Pages by sylphidine

Prompt 45:  A ROTG Hogwarts AU crossover maybe? Fic by apropoptosis Yule Never Live This Down by bunnimew

Prompt 48:  Color palette swap, Pitch black and Jack Frost. (Otp) Art by bunnimew Art by heyitsmoonbard

Prompt 49:  found family Beautiful Ghosts by askwenjing

Prompt 50:  Jack/Bunny - Bunny coaches Jack through a panic attack, maybe triggered by Jack feeling like he messed up his Guardian duties or something. Fic by sarsfe

Prompt 51:  Kozmotis Pitchiner/Lady Pitchiner. Anything goes, with art or fic, just no noncon and no changing the ship. Art by ladyfr0st

Prompt 57:  Any human AU where Bunny and Pitch can be bros / friends. Art, please Art by winterswrathe

Prompt 58:  Feudal Japan Art by hezuart

Prompt 60:  Nightlight x Katherine and/or Jack x Katherine in a mermaid AU. Art by ksclaw

Prompt 61:  Jack/Pitch OTP - Dragon Riders AU. Bonus for soul bonds/mind bonds/creature bonds. No gender swap/crossdressing Soul Riders by bunnimew

Prompt 64:  Jack + trees and/or Ents (Gen, or if you insist on romance, blackice) On Trees and Mistletoe by Nimohtar

[momtaku]

Speaking as someone who disliked the original ending and hated the extra pages, the advice I give to anyone who is still feeling angered about the ending is to either let go of Attack On Titan entirely or choose to focus on the good parts (such as fanarts, fanfics, memes) and not let the bad tarnish the rest. Because daily speaking negatively about something isn't just bad for the fandom, but also for the individual who is constantly putting out negativity. And by letting go, I don't mean daily+

<2>speaking about why "the ending sucks" and how AOT "isn't going to be remembered as a good story" due to how it ended, I mean, genuinely moving on from everything AOT related. From personal experience: when the extra pages started being leaked, I spent almost days going through the five stages of grief. At first, I was in denial because the extra pages had been described by the editor as "supplementary explanations" that "wouldn't change the ending" and Zekken's leaks were the opposite of that

<3> then I got angry due to the Mikasa leaks, even did a promise to watch Boku No Pico if the leaks turned out to be fake. After that, I spent weeks avoiding anything involving Attack On Titan (fanfics, fanarts, videos, etc) because thinking about it just brought me sadness. It's silly because I cried out of anger, due to how my favorite character ended in the extra pages as well as the message with Paradis getting destroyed in the future. Eventually, I realized that despite the ending, Attack +

<4> On Titan still includes some of my favorite characters and there are beautiful fanarts and fanfics still being done giving me more of them. So, I still want to support those works. But I also understand the others who felt like the ending ruined the whole story, to the point that they moved on entirely from the series. Either option seems better than daily complaining about the ending. Like for example, instead of discussing the mangá, why don't more people go write their own perfect ending+

<5> or read fanfics that explore ideas you wished the original mangá explored? And if none of those brings you any happiness, then maybe it's time for you to find another series to follow. It may take time, but there are plenty of works out there and one of them might please you. A lot of my friends that liked AOT are currently enjoying Jujutsu Kaisen and Chainsaw Man, so maybe those are good series to follow after Attack On Titan.

I'm sure there are people reading this and nodding because they've had a similar experience processing their thoughts about the end of the series. I'm definitely more like you in that once I've dealt with something, I tend to remember the happier moments and focus on those so that nothing is ever truly ruined for me. I'm lucky my brain naturally veers in that direction. But for other people, I think it's the opposite.

Some of the negativity stems from the idea of "winning" the manga. If someone who hates the manga can convince others to hate it, or if they find a community of people who share their hate, they feel justified and vindicated in their hate.

That's not true of everyone of course. For some I feel like ceaseless complaining is part of their fun no matter how unhealthy it appears to others.

I find myself remembering a scene from the Disney movie Lady and The Tramp. It's the moment where Lady is having her naive world view upended by spending a few hours in the dog pound. One of the dogs she meets is a wolfhound named Boris who quotes Russian dramatist Maxim Gorky. He says, “Quote. Miserable being must find other miserable being. Then, is happy!.”

There seems to be a lot of that in life and in fandom. Heck, even Levi in chapter 51 mentions how bitching about things is cathartic

Of course for some it's less a ritual and more a lifestyle but to each his own, I suppose.

Thanks for the ask! I'm glad you've made peace with the series!

[redglassesgirl-maruma]

Hello Everyone! 

A day like today 20 years ago the first novel of our beloved series was published in November 2000. This is an incredible anniversary and that’s why we’ll celebrate the whole month with events! 

I hope you can join this special occasion and contribute a little bit by sharing your posts and art here in tumblr.  

This is not the first event run by this blog, if you want to see what we did in previous years you can visit my tags MA Event,  MA Event 2017 and MA Event 2018.

The dynamic of the events is to have some deliver themes and inspiration divided in different sections. This event will run weekly, except for the last week of the month when we’ll have daily content shared to inspire you even more. 

Please save the date around the last weekend of November for our Live Chat! I’ll post more information about the exact date and time along the next weekly posts.

Update: Live Chat Sunday 29 at 1am Buenos Aires timezone GTM-3 You can check online comparing with your time zone here. We’ll meet and chat, share opinions, and play some games or draw together!

20th Anniversary MA Event - First Week Activity Share your MAlove, share your MArt! From November 1 to November 8

This week we’ll draw fanarts, write fanfics or make any other kind of media to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the series. We have list of 365 prompts in case you need a little bit of extra inspiration, please check under the cut and try to mix anything you pick with a festive mood to make it really special ;D

Remember to tag your posts with #MAnniversary 2020 and #MA Event

Links to the weekly event’s posts:

First Week (in this post) Second Week  Third Week Fourth Week | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday | Sunday

Prompts:

01. Introduction

02. Love

03. Light

04. Dark

05. Seeking Solace

06. Break Away

07. Heaven

08. Innocence

09. Drive

10. Breathe Again

11. Memory

12. Insanity

13. Misfortune

14. Smile

15. Silence

16. Questioning

17. Blood

18. Rainbow

19. Gray

20. Fortitude

21. Vacation

22. Mother Nature

23. Cat

24. No Time

25. Trouble Lurking

26. Tears

27. Foreign

28. Sorrow

29. Happiness

30. Under the Rain

31. Flowers

32. Night

33. Expectations

34. Stars

35. Hold my Hand

36. Precious Treasure

37. Eyes

38. Abandoned

39. Dreams

40. Rated

41. Teamwork

42. Standing Still

43. Dying

44. Two Roads

45. Illusion

46. Family

47. Creation

48. Childhood

49. Stripes

50. Breaking the Rules

51. Fanart

52. Deep in Thought

53. Keeping a Secret

54. Tower

55. Waiting

56. Danger Ahead

57. Sacrifice

58. Kick in the Head

59. No Way Out

60. Rejection

61. Fairy Tale

62. Magic

63. Do Not Disturb

64. Multitasking

65. Horror

66. Traps

67. Playing the Melody

68. Hero

69. Annoyance

70. 67%

71. Obsession

72. Mischief Managed

73. I Can’t

74. Are You Challenging Me?

75. Mirror

76. Broken Pieces

77. Test

78. Drink

79. Starvation

80. Words

81. Pen and Paper

82. Can You Hear Me?

83. Heal

84. Out Cold

85. Spiral

86. Seeing Red

87. Food

88. Pain

89. Through the Fire

90. Triangle

91. Drowning

92. All That I Have

93. Give Up

94. Last Hope

95. Advertisement

96. In the Storm

97. Safety First

98. Puzzle

99. Solitude

100. Relaxation

101. Hello World

102. Fear

103. Anger

104. Regret

105. Happiness

106. Love

107. Family

108. Friendship

109. Home

110. Childhood

111. Adulthood

112. Birth

113. Death

114. Me

115. You

116. Thoughts

117. Emotion

118. Sun

119. Rain

120. Thunder

121. Noon

122. Midnight

123. Twilight

124. Rooms

125. Window to the Soul

126. Games

127. Halo

128. Serenity

129. Firefly

130. Phone

131. Movie

132. Television

133. Plants

134. Freedom

135. Forgetfulness

136. Remembrance

137. Memorial

138. War

139. Fight

140. Loss

141. Winning

142. Losing

143. Nature

144. Hurricane

145. Storms are brewing

146. Lightning

147. Colors

148. Bravo

149. Punishment

150. Picture

151. Another Wolfs

153. The Life You Dream Of

154. Dreams

155. Tears

157. Smiling

158. Laughing

159. Crying

160. Looking in the Mirror

161. Steam

162. Candy

163. Cats

164. Dogs

165. Glasses

166. Orbit

167. Satellite

168. Stars

169. Jade

170. Emerald

171. Gems

172. Dreaming Out Loud

173. Insomnia

174. Rabbits

175. Snake

176. Borders

177. The Year

178. This Time

179. Last Time

180. Forever and a Day

181. Sometimes

182. Always

183. Power

184. Weakness

185. Green

186. Purple

187. Blue

188. Sight

189. Blindness

190. Hurtful

191. Stages of grief

192. Arguments

193. Country

194. Frog

195. Forest

196. River

197. Flying

198. Mountains

199. Snow

200. Goodbye

201. Heart of Glass

202. My Life

203. Me In a Nutshell

204. Forever Yours

205. True Colors

206. My best friend’s girl

207. Impossible Love

208. Forgiveness

209. Fibers of Our Lives

210. Challenging Dream

211. Living My Dream

212. Forgetting Myself

213. Saving Grace

214. Lonely

215. Unbalanced

216. See-saw

217. Math

218. Match Making

219. Beyond Good and Evil

220. Second Sight

221. Double Take

223. Upon Review

224. Losing You

225. Baseball

226. Shouting

227. Farmland

228. Heartland

229. Brick Wall

230. Glass Houses

231. Eyes

231. Ring

233. Circle

234. Square

235. Boxes

236. Moving

237. Well Being

238. Insanity

239. Repetition

240. Learning

241. Class

242. Flowers

243. Special

244. Snowflakes

245. The Man They Call Jayne

246. Malicious

247. Pretty on the Outside

248. The Outside

249. Thankful

250. Neglect

251. Remorse

252. Embracement

253. Reflecting on My Life

254. Space

255. Constellation

256. Collection

257. Magic

258. Thrill

259. Attack

260. 20 Seconds to Mars

261. Unable

262. Foolish

263. Science

264. Sign of Life

265. Motto

266. Me

267. Balloon

268. Self Esteem

269. Narcissism

270. Ideology

271. Pageantry

272. Keeping Up With the Jones’s

273. Crack in Your Armor

274. Spilling Your Guts

275. Lean on Me

276. Crippling Emotion

277. Biggest Fear

278. Prejudices

279. Fresh

280. Corn

281. Sugar

282. Ice Cream

283. Accents

284. Speech

285. Writing

286. Doom

287. Shape

288. The Real You

289. My Name Is ____

290. Who are You on the Inside

291. Hidden Hatred

292. Hanging

293. Jacket

294. Jail

295. Stepping Up to the Plate

296. Star Player

297. My Hero

298. Castle

299. Losing Yourself

300. Finding Hope

301. Pirates

302. Fallen Angel

303. Drowning Lessons

304. Ghosts in the snow

305. Rawr.

306. Pidgeons… Birdy

307. Broken Hearts Parade

308. Paranoid

309. Vampires

310. Betrayal

311. Emmi&Rumura

312. The three friends

313. Horror

314. Mirror

315. Candlelight

316. Spider moneky

317. Devil

318. Flowers

319. Teddy Bear

320. Mist

321. Kingdom Hearts

322. Ferret

323. Vanilla

324. Thunder

325. Pinto Pony

326. M&Ms

327. Killer

328. Grass

329. Peace

330. Chibi

331. Mr. Klaw, polite Lion

332. Eternal

333. Star girl

334. Hats

335. Calvin & Hobbes

336. Misery (A cup full of something… unknown )

337. Hot chocolate

338. My Chemical Romance

339. Light in the darkness

340. Laughter

341. Nightmares

342. Necklace

343. Fire

344. Clorotaint and Treegirl

345. Swirls

346. Pokemon

347. Friends

348. Double Trouble

349. Do not cross

350. Unknowing

351. Chocolate

352. Time

353. A phone

354. Little kids on a playground

355. Darkness

356. A purple lady

357. Writer’s block

358. The dark corner in my room that I go to cry at (and a unicorn)

359. Sunglasses

360. The sun relaxing by an air conditioner

361. A girl fleeing from her nightmares

362. A girl staring at a blank canvas

363. A visual representation of poetry

364. Trolls

365. A hat