#good grief how are things gonna be this season

[latteenightss]

Hii! Just another rant about obx. I wanna share my predictions about season 5 and what I think they’re gonna do

Chase Stokes (John B) mentioned that season 5 will be their best one, which it could be but I think for a lot of viewers just the fact that JJ won’t be there at all might ruin the season if yk what I mean.

And now to my predictions

1. I think season 5 will be Kiara’s season, with the way season 4 ended it’s obvious she’s gonna lash out and go through a lot. She’s gonna need to deal with grief and her revenge era might be a bit brutal 😊

Also maybe she will be somehow related to the treasure? Or just connected slightly. Like season 1 we had John B, season 2 it was Pope. Season 3 now- idk I guess Sarah but Kie also had a bigger role, like when that dude kidnapped her and then she got sent off to that camp but that’s it, then her plot line was about Jiara, and season 4 was obv JJ.

And since we’re talking about JJ, y’all.. ik it’s hard but he’s not coming back 😭 obx is not supernatural, a wish won’t bring him back to life. Like I don’t think JJ will crawl out of sand.

I generally love the idea of Kie finally having her main character moments and just making her more important to the story.

2. We will get Riara. And I definitely don’t mean that in a romantic way because that’s not happening! Madison (the actress of Kie) hates Riara 😭 but I think we will see them as duo and just get more of those tension scenes that we got so far. I feel like that might be a way the writers will try to “replace” Jiara. Jiara was a huge ad for the show and lately so has been Riara.

I feel like almost eveyone loves the tension between those two and the writers know that. Also Rafe breaking up with Sofia- yea they’re definitely building up to some sort of storyline with Kiara and Rafe. The amount of people obsessed with Riara is insane and obv they have to give us something so..

Riara s5 is pretty much guaranteed.

3. I wanna talk about Sarah and John B- obviously a huge plot line will be their child. I don’t know if the child will be born at the end or during season 5. How I see it, I’m leaning more toward the end but we’ll see.

There’s not much else that can really happen with them. John b will also be in a revenge era since his best friend was killed and Sarah will definitely get closer with Rafe, that hug they shared was so cute and needed but otherwise I really don’t know! I doubt they’ll kill them off. I was thinking that the way John B narrates obx maybe that’s him in the future telling his child about their story? That would make sense honestly.

4. Pope and Cleo umm so. I honestly am not as interested in their story line and it’s interesting because I have no idea what they will do with them.

I think Pope might be kind of more cold in season 5- as we know he shot a person right in the head, and he was so scared about that. Also he lost JJ- his best friend and they want to send him to the military. Dude is not doing the best! 💀

Cleo.. I don’t know she’s such a complicated character, she went through a lot in her life but I doubt they’ll really expand her character in season 5.

5. Rafe!!!! His character development this season was insane. In my opinion he should stick with the pogues but I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow betrayed them. That’s Rafe- he’s not a good person but I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily bad..

Like I already said in obx 5 there will be Rafe and Kie duo, and more of Sarah and Rafe for sure. But maybe he will connect with the other pogues too.

I just don’t want the development to be thrown away, I hope they make him stick with the pogues.

6. And now finally the ending/possible deaths.

The characters who in my opinions are most in danger are: Kiara and Rafe

Especially Kiara.. here’s the thing, since JJ is dead and she already went through the whole group 😭 what can her ending actually be? Like ok she could just end up alone with her friends, her family but in my opinion her death would make sense. She would be with JJ and I think in general it is a good end for her.

Rafe like i mentioned is a complicated character, it would be so easy for the writers to just kill him off at the end. But I would be honestly so mad!!! Like no JJ and no Rafe 😭. Yeah I don’t want them to do that but at the same time, I think there’s definitely a possibility.

Sarah and John B definitely safe in my opinion.

Cleo and Pope- now I don’t know, I think they’re safe. Maybe Cleo.. but still I don’t think so.

Groff- definitely done for! ❤️ I hope Kiara tortures him to death 🥰

[qilingxiong]

*grumpy old person voice* back in my day (season 1) they just used silhouette filters to make people anonymous on 我们的歌. kids these days smh

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Okay, a good amount of time has passed, and after having seen this post by @weretiger-be-my-horse , I've been turning it over and over in my brain going absolutely feral over this concept. I need to expand upon my thoughts on this idea and all the evidence there is pointing towards it, whether that be actual tangible things, or purely strong vibes I have.

First of all, full disclaimer: I did not like the season 5 finale, and how it wrapped up the DoA arc. To say that I "disliked" it is putting it extremely lightly, in fact -- I absolutely hated it, and I am still, to a degree, in disbelief that I actually even watched those 24 minutes with my own two eyes, and that it somehow wasn't a complete fever dream. While I'm not going to go in long-winded detail into all the ways that I feel like the finale almost completely bastardized all of its featured characters and destroyed any and all buildup we've had going on in this arc for 50 some chapters now, because that's not the main point of this post, I will not make any attempt to hide the fact that the theory-crafting I'm about to pose here is partly influenced and prompted by how much I hated the finale, and how much I desperately hope that it will not end up being manga canon. Therefore, if you enjoyed the finale — and that's fine! — and don't want to read any negativity about it, then I would not recommend reading any further (I mean, you've probably already left by this point, which is fair lol), While obviously it's important that I be as objective and unbiased as possible when explaining my thoughts, some of my negative feelings about the writing will be a part of this analysis, even if this isn't going to be a full-blown rant. Just know that if you proceed.

With that out of the way, let me continue.

So. In the aforementioned post, the theory presented is that the anime may be operating on an alternate timeline, and that this will become evident once we read the upcoming October chapter, wherein things will go completely differently post-chapter 110 than they do in the final episode — probably for the worse, with the s5 finale intending to lull us into a false sense of security and make us assume that everything in the manga arc finale will wrap up as smoothly and consequence-freely(? lol) as it did in the anime one. It also suggests that the Fukuchi we see at the very end that sskk are fighting came from the manga timeline, where he won, and that he used the Book to jump to a timeline where he lost, the anime one, proven by the fact that this Fukuchi is wearing a mask with the same design on it as the mask Fukuchi is wearing on the chapter 110 DoA color spread/title page.

First of all, I want to note the fact that it's not just the mask design that's the same: the entire outfit is roughly more or less the same as well. It's not completely 1-to-1, because the anime can never fully match the intricacies of Harukawa's beautiful outfit designs, and the Fukuchi in this scene has the kimono half-off because of the... super saiyan mode he's in, but most all of the main pieces of clothing are there. Any small inaccuracies could also be attributed to the fact that Harukawa probably didn't have this finalized art ready back when this episode was being made, so the animators wouldn't have had the complete design to work off of. But in general, because it's all so similar, I think we can quite confidently say that the ending episode Fukuchi is meant to be the one from this manga art.

Also, people have pointed this out, but it's worth mentioning that the mask Asagiri wore at Anime Expo in July was referencing this Fukuchi. It's not a crucial detail, but it just proves more that Asagiri is a gigantic fucking troll, and that he clearly wanted to draw attention to this Fukuchi design. It's important. He describes the mask here as made in the motif of an ellipses inside a speech bubble... could that perhaps be referencing meta aspects, like the Book?

Next, I want to talk about the even bigger elephant in the room, which to me is the most damning and undeniable piece of evidence there is of the anime operating on a completely separate timeline from the manga:

This Fucking Hand™️

As we all know, in the anime, Fyodor injures his hand when the password input device blows up, and as we all know, this does not happen in the manga. In the last episode, Dazai claims that the final nail in the coffin of his impromptu plan to kill Fyodor relied on this hand injury: because Fyodor couldn't pilot his escape helicopter himself, he would ask one of his Meursault vampires to do it for him, unaware that Bram and thus this vampire was now on the ADA's side, and said vampire could kill him while his guard was down.

Ignoring how utterly stupid and contrived this plan is when you stop and think about it for more than two seconds, the fact of the matter is that something that initially seemed like nothing more than an odd but inconsequential anime original addition ended up snowballing into being the entire reason one of the big bads was brought down. If Fyodor hadn't hurt his hand, he wouldn't have needed another pilot, and so the traitor vampire wouldn't have had an opportunity to get near him and kill him without him expecting it even though said vampire was presumably with him as they were leaving Meursault, and was probably already a traitor by then, so there was plenty opportunity for him to still die. not to mention by Chuuya's hands at literally any time he wanted to, because Chuuya was coherent the whole time. Also there's absolutely no way Dazai could have known exactly what Ranpo would do, no matter how smart he is and how much he trusts him. idk it's fucking dumb, just roll with it. Therefore, putting aside all other variables for now, we can conclude that, on the most basic level, this signifies that no hand wound = no death.

And let me tell you, this hand wound bothers me. It really, really does. Because they focus on it a LOT — they go out of their way to draw attention to it MULTIPLE TIMES, from the moment it first happens to the end of the season. Fyodor even talks about it to himself, about Dazai being able to cause him tangible, visible, bodily harm, (something that, again, as far as we've seen, has never happened in the manga). Hell, even after Fyodor's death, they're still drawing attention to it, because his right arm is all of him that survives, and Dazai picks it up and gives it to Nikolai to do his hilarious sad little gay fondling of it played completely straight even though there's nothing straight going on here at all! It's like it's a big red flashing sign at all times going "you see this injured hand? This is important. Are you picking up that it's important? Are you taking note of it?" Why is that? Obviously, it serves to give us the lore crumbs about Fyodor and "that man", but that's hardly the main, much more glaring reason, as I've already mentioned.

Fyodor doesn't hurt his hand in the manga. Fyodor won't die here in the manga. I am so dead serious by this point about this, and it's not just simply the fact that this was absolutely not at all the time for him to die, or the fact that his hand is the reason for his death in the anime in and of itself, but how much EMPHASIS they place on this, and on the hand in general. What would be the point of adding something like this, if it's not meant to alert us to the fact that it has a major impact on how the story plays out? We all know Bones: they struggle to get right and include everything that's already there in the source material; they would never go out of their way to add something this noteworthy if there wasn't a very good reason for it, if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I've seen a few people bring up the fact that Fyodor gets shot in the shoulder by Sigma and that that could lead to the same outcome in the manga, but I disagree: although he has blood on his shoulder in the manga, it seems like the bullet just grazed the top of it, because his arm and hand appears completely functional afterwards (not hanging limp by his side or anything). But that doesn't even matter, because this isn't even about the semantics/logistics of how the hand wound caused Fyodor's death because again, it's a stupid outcome, or what could serve as a substitute in the manga — thematically, this is a textbook example of the butterfly effect. Countless parallel universes exist within this series, ones where even the most minute differences lead to a majorly different outcome: this just happens to be one of them. There's no reason to think it isn't, and there's no reason to not think that the anime wants us to clue into the fact that things only went as smoothly as they did on the Meursault side because of this wound; in other words, that things will go very differently in the manga thanks to the absence of said wound. They wouldn't have added it in the first place and put such clearly deliberate emphasis on it otherwise.

Things are going to happen very differently in the manga, at least when it comes to the Meursault crew (but then, if you assume that, you then naturally assume it all will be very different). This is the only conclusion one can come to with the presentation of this anime-only wound, combined with the fact that parallel universes are a very real thing in BSD.

I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent, so bear with me. I play a lot of visual novels, and although such concepts aren't really as original now as they were a while ago, some of my favorite and some of the very best VNs out there are the ones that break the fourth wall and make the visual novel branching route format directly intertwined with the story: you know, the ones where the characters go "if only I had done things differently, maybe everything would have turned out better...!" in a wink wink nudge nudge moment, and the ones where the characters are aware of the different timelines, even, or even have the ability to gain information from their selves in said alternate timelines to influence events in their current one (I'm intentionally not naming the games I'm thinking of for the sake of spoilers, but if you know, you know lmao). It gets very meta in this regard, and this is how I started viewing BSD through the lens of ever since I first learned about Beast: like a visual novel with many branching routes, and only a few routes that feel entirely "right".

When I first read Dazai's Entrance Exam, I was struck by how unnerving the ending sequence in the abandoned hospital felt. Obviously, Kunikida's internal struggle over Sasaki's actions and motives is him still desperately clinging to his ideal world that does not exist, but the specific type of phrases he uses — "who is wrong?" "[who is] the cause of all this?" "there has to be an ideal world" "there has to be something, I'm sure of it" "There must have been something we could have done!" — and the framing of the scene in general, is eerily reminiscent of a bad ending in a visual novel, to me. There's a haunting, looming, bleak sense that a different outcome could have been achieved, if different decisions had been made, or if things outside of anyone's control had been different... and we know that this is true, because in Beast alone, Kunikida never goes through the Azure Messenger incident, because Dazai doesn't have his entrance exam. Hell, you could even consider the anime's version of the Azure Messenger arc an alternate timeline in of itself, if you really wanted to, long before we even arrive at season 5.

When it comes to Beast, this timeline has almost the opposite feeling of what I described above, that I've also encountered in visual novels: the idea of a "good route" or "good ending" that still doesn't feel quite earned, or as perfect as one would expect. Beast is presented as the "ideal" timeline purely for one sole reason: Oda is alive. It is the only timeline where he's alive, and keeping Oda alive is the ultimate goal Dazai wants to achieve, the only reason this timeline exists; therefore, disregarding all else, Beast should be the best timeline, because Oda's death is the greatest devastation in the series to date. We all want him to live, so why wouldn't the timeline where he does be the best one? And yet... of course, it isn't. Dazai is alone, and steeped in darkness and loneliness without Oda, and dies by the end of the story for Oda's continued living. Atsushi has Kyouka still, but he's suffering and more traumatized, and unable to heal while stuck in the mafia, and neither can Kyouka. Akutagawa is living a much better life in the ADA... but without his sister, and without what he has from his bond with Atsushi in canon, that isn't replicated in Beast. And Oda... Oda is alive, and he has his children and his novel, but there is a feeling that he is aimless, that something in his life is missing. He has everything he ever wanted, but all that means nothing without what he truly needs: Dazai, and his time with Dazai and Ango at the bar. In this way, things going well and us getting what we want — in this case, Oda living — goes against how it's supposed to be, the natural order, which is why it feels so hollow. In the specific visual novel I'm thinking of here as a comparison (again, shoutout if you know), there's an alternate ending that involves you inputting information you gain at the end of the game very early on in the game, wherein the protagonist now has memories of the future and is able to bypass and prevent all of the events that take place normally. This means that people who die or are hurt somehow in general are saved from that fate, and nothing bad ever occurs; everything wraps up neatly and nicely... but again, there's an undeniable, unsettling feeling of emptiness, of a victory that rings hollow, because what's the point if everything is simply handed to you easily, where's the sense of accomplishment, without any struggles to achieve said victories, or any growth along the way? How can it feel earned if one doesn't have to, in Dazai's words, "scream within the storm of uncertainty, and run with flowing blood"?

You can probably already see where I'm going with this.

This finale feels weird. Really, really weird. It feels too cheap, too simple, too unsatisfying. So much so, in fact, that for almost the entire runtime, as I was bombarded with resolution upon resolution one after another, I kept thinking "There's no way this can be real. Where's the catch? When is the "gotcha!" moment gonna happen? The "it was all a dream" reveal?". And this isn't just because I hated the writing, and that it really did feel like a fever dream watching fanfic levels of bad (actually, that's an insult to fanfic writers, tbh; they could do better) — no, it genuinely feels so incredibly fake. Even upon rewatching it and already knowing what happens, my brain still naturally keeps expecting some kinda of "sike, you THOUGHT!" moment to suddenly appear. It just.... feels "too good to be true". Dazai and Chuuya come out unscathed, and it's revealed that they were never in any real danger to begin with. Fyodor, one of our biggest threats, is dealt with supposedly for good (I say "supposedly" only because of the Jesus line, but if anything imo, I think that's just a hint that this won't be the canon ending in the manga, so in a sense he's going to "come back to life"), and Nikolai seems somewhat at peace with his death. The other biggest threat, Fukuchi, is also dealt with, and he and Fukuzawa get their final moment together of closure. Yes, Sigma is left in Meursault don't even get me started on how angry this alone makes me, and Fukuzawa loses Fukuchi, but overall, everything is portrayed in a positive light, and any negatives or losses are quickly glossed over. Everything is tied up nicely, neatly, and smoothly. ...And that is exactly what makes it feel so wrong, and hard to trust in.

I'm not sure if this will make sense, but to me, the finale is so incredibly poorly written that it almost feels.... intentional. It's so bad to the point of feeling self-aware in how bad it is, how unrealistically happy and convenient an ending it is. It had to end this neatly in order to rush to wrap up this arc for the season finale and not leave the last episode on a cliffhanger — which imo is chiefly the main reason it turned out this way, and, if this whole theory is true, Asagiri just used it to his advantage — and I'm not saying this was probably an effect Bones had in mind intentionally, I'm sure they just threw shit at the wall and went with whatever stuck, maaaaybe with some suggestions/approval from Asagiri, but the result is that you have a conclusion that contradicts so much of what was set up before and goes against so many character arcs, making some characters so out of character and even regressing in their development Dazai. I'm talking about Dazai abandoning Sigma, because he would never; hashtag #NOTMYDAZAI. Also Nikolai, Nikolai for most of that is so ooc I can't even begin to describe it oh my god. Everyone is OOC to a degree though lmao, and opens so many plot holes, to the point that it's impossible not to watch all that and get the feeling that it is subtly saying to you "did you really think it could be this easy? It feels wrong, doesn't it? It doesn't feel satisfying. It feels unearned." I find it incredibly interesting and suspicious in particular that they confirmed multiple theories people had about soukoku in Meursault: that Chuuya slowed the elevator's fall so that Dazai wouldn't die from it, that Chuuya slowed down the bullet so that it only penetrated Dazai's skin and not his skull, and that the both of them used Fyodor's camera angle to their advantage because they knew he wouldn't be able to see certain things from his view. I'm not saying that Asagiri trawled BSD twitter and tumblr after those chapters dropped for the most popular theories before the final episode was made lmao, there was no time for that (imagine though lol—), but I do think it's highly likely that he already had in mind exactly what theories would be made about these parts (I mean, the evidence for the gun scene was all there), and that Dazai rattling them off in his long monologue to Fyodor at the end is essentially him speaking to the audience and going "yeah, that's what you would predict, right? Those are the clichés, after all", much like him suggesting earlier that he can maybe bring Chuuya back to himself with a few moving words and the power of friendship, and Fyodor using the split personalities trope to fool Sigma. We expect these tropes to be true. Of course we'd fall for them, as Fyodor tells Sigma, especially if the evidence is right there. But Asagiri himself has explicitly said that he likes doing the opposite of what people expect. And so just because people predicted correctly with the three things I mentioned in this timeline... doesn't mean they'll be true in the manga's. Things happened how we wanted and expected it to, and everything turned out happily. So we can relax now, right? Everything will work out just as easily in the manga, right? Or... is the reason most of this finale feels so fake and unsettling and unsatisfying because it's meant to lull us into a false sense of security before all our heroes lose in the manga? Because deep down, we don't want an ending that's this simple, because we'd rather have a conclusion where our characters have struggled more and grown more and come out the better for it, and we know it?

After rewatching the episode a lot, and watching some other videos, and doing a lot of thinking, I am pretty confident in suspecting that the only part of this finale that is actually from manga canon, aside from Aya jumping off the building of course, is Fyodor and Nikolai's exchange after Fyodor leaves Meursault — specifically, them talking about Fyodor leaving Sigma behind, and their "new game" and Nikolai being excited at the prospect of it. This little conversation actually feels in character for them, and it's easy to tell this when contrasting it with everything that happens immediately after, wherein Fyodor is fatally stabbed, and Nikolai, completely at odds with what he was just talking about, just... stands there and watches Fyodor die while Dazai monologues lmao. I'm not sure if the helicopter is still a factor, but I would bet good money on Fyolai getting out of Meursault being manga canon, and that Dazai and Chuuya getting out as well and killing Fyodor + everything with FukuFuku, is part of the anime original ending, in order to wrap up everything positively. It makes much more sense if you think about, in reality (aka in the manga), Dazai and Chuuya still being left behind in Meursault (where they can eventually try to get Sigma), because none of it was an act and things did not go according to plan, and Fukuchi having an entirely different goal that doesn't feel so stupid and contradictory to his character, and Fukuzawa possibly dying — everyone seemingly loses, with Aya still being the last hope, perhaps by awakening her ability like we all speculated.

There's a youtuber I watch who covers BSD in-depth, despite being an anime-only (she reads the respective manga content after each season, though). Going into this finale, she knew about the fact that the anime had overtaken the manga, though she didn't know where the cutoff point was; despite that, however, she made predictions about what was from the manga so far and what was anime original, and it was almost entirely spot-on, based mostly on what she basically described as "anime original dialogue." She talked about how you can always tell when dialogue is veering into the realm of anime-original, because the sentences are very short, choppy, and slightly out of character, but generic enough to not be TOO out of character, and so that anyone can easily write said lines, even if they're not extremely familiar with the character like the original author would be. And when I heard this explanation, everything clicked — because so much of this finale has dialogue like that. The Fyolai scenes just feel peppered with it, around the lines I mentioned earlier, the Dazai dialogue does too, and ESPECIALLY shit at the end like Fukuchi and Fukuzawa exchanging the cliche death lines to end all death lines: "Are you there? I'm a little tired." "Rest up." That just isn't Bungou Stray Dogs. That isn't Asagiri. BSD is cheesy at times, yes, but it isn't like this; it's smarter. The dialogue is smarter, the explanations/plot twists are smarter, Asagiri is smarter, and the aforementioned youtuber I watched agreed. She's a pretty casual fan of the series, so if even she could pick up on these things, I think it speaks volumes.

I mentioned this briefly earlier, but this theory makes sense if you consider that this situation probably came about because of Bones wanting two seasons back-to-back when they did, and this arc being as long as it is. Season 3 aired in 2019, and I imagine Bones would have wanted season 4 in 2020, and might have then been willing to wait a bit longer for season 5 in order for more of this arc's manga chapters to come out — but then covid happened. Because of that, season 4 was delayed to 2023, creating the longest gap we've had between seasons, and I wouldn't at all be surprised if the delay made them want season 5 right together with it, after getting so far "behind", so to speak. S4 was announced in November of 2021, and roughly around that time, Asagiri was finishing up writing the plot of the DoA arc. If Bones came to him sometime in late 2021 and said they wanted two seasons now (so basically, one giant two cour season), Asagiri would know that not only of course would this arc not be finished publishing in the manga for a very long time yet, but that roughly 20ish episodes would not be enough to cover it all to the end, with this arc being longer than any arc the anime has adapted to date. Because of all this, and the arc manga chapters being nowhere near fully drawn to completion, he'd have to make a decision about what to do, and what to give Bones. Without ending season 5 on a massive cliffhanger that wouldn't be resolved for years until an eventual season 6, the only other option would be to rush towards an anime-original ending for the DoA arc.... and for Asagiri to take advantage of that, and integrate it into BSD's lore. Thereby creating a truly unique cross-media experience that utilizes the different mediums to create multiple timelines, that could make both the anime and manga interact with each other and become part of a bigger picture (not that you'd need to see both to get the full experience, mind you, just that it'd provide a little bonus if you did).... and would without a doubt be Asagiri's biggest surprise yet.

...I feel like at this point I'm starting to ramble, and my evidence become more and more incoherent and less substantial lmao, so I should probably end this post. 💀 Thank you if you've read this far, and hopefully it made some semblance of sense, despite not being structured very well; I know I promised at the start to try to be as objective as possible and curb my negative feelings, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded in that regard. If it weren't for the Fukuchi thing and the Fyodor hand thing, I probably wouldn't take how wrong and strange and bad the finale feels to me as serious evidence about it being an alternate timeline, especially since I seem to be one of the only people who actually hates all of it.... but combined with everything else, I am just so convinced of this theory being true. It started off as pure copium, but as more time has gone on, I fully, 100% believe in my bones (ha) that there is no way that finale is the same Bungou Stray Dogs I know and love, for so many reasons. It just isn't. It can't be. I know BSD better than this, I know Asagiri better than this, and I know that it's absolutely in the realm of possibility for him to cook up this whole scheme to completely blindside us with in the upcoming chapters, because that's exactly the kind of shit Mr. "Please Be Surprised!" himself would pull. If I end up being completely wrong, I guess I'm wrong, and you can laugh at me all you want then.... but I just know that ages ago people were teasing the idea of the anime operating on a different timeline from the manga, and I truly do think that only now are we finally seeing that idea come to fruition, as a setup for Asagiri going full-bore insanity with the Book in the upcoming arc(s). if I and the OP of that theory end up right, this will be the wildest time in the BSD fandom's history.

Like. I cannot even emphasize how hard they are trolling us at this point. Something is going on. Something is being cooked over there, the likes of which we've never seen before... and I don't think any of us are ready for it.

Oh yeah, and one last thing of note: both Fyodor and Nikolai here have their right arms hidden from view. Is that alluding to anything? I'm not sure. I also think that since chapter 110 was so short, next chapter will likely be 110.5 instead of 111, and if that's the case, this title spread could still technically be associated with the next chapter... wherein we might see this Fukuchi, who ends up wreaking havoc, right before he jumps to the timeline in the anime, as we see him at the end of the s5 finale.

I guess we'll find out on Tuesday.

[wereshrew-admirer]

sangfielle 2 on the horizon….. have to get hustling on that sf54 animation

[wonryllis]

𓍼⠀ YOU, MY FATE COME AND KISS ME.

𝒏o𝓉ℯs. park jongseong x fem!reader 𖥔 ݁ fluff-angst, soulmate au LIB? word count `425 for @okwonyo valentine event!

jay thinks he's stuck in a loop.

a never-ending turn of events that cage him beyond the lights of universe. for everyday it feels like he falls in love with you all over again. a trick of heaven, a path weaved so carefully by fate, a red string tying him to you to the ends of his breath.

in a world of destiny, you are his paradox.

since the age of ten, jay has known his soul is bound to another for life, for love, for everything in between and apart. he has spent all his birthdays waiting for the one where the chosen name will etch itself onto his skin, telling him the time has come. but twenty-two and the wheel of cupid is yet to stop. perhaps it's because of you. three seasons spent together, and the guy is smitten. wishing everyday for you to be his other half.

"does this look good on me?" your voice echoes into the silence in the room, an ever quiet jay hoping for things to stay the same every year. to be away from you would be like death to him.

"you look as gorgeous as always, tell me how i got this lucky," his hands wrap around the curve of you waist and he rests his head on your shoulder, eyes locking through the mirror. the scent of your lotion like an ardent addiction. to think maybe someday he could never smell it again would be like stab of grief.

"honestly i am the lucky one, now we only have to wait for this," the words are just above a whisper, a small smile dancing on the tips of your lips, as you stare at your wrist— the place where jay's name is supposed to show up.

"whatever happens i know i'll only love you," jay leaves a fleeting kiss on your lips, arms holding you tight as if you'd slip away.

"now let's go my pretty valentine," you laugh at the way he tries to wink provocatively, and jay feels the arrow struck through his heart hurt for the nth time. a churning in his stomach evoking a desperate yearn for you, for the spot on his wrist he thought to have reserved for you sits another name.

no matter what happens, he knows you're his forever and he'll fight against all odds for that. even if it means fighting his own self.

"this is gonna be the best date ever i promise," his world revolves around you and it always will.

taglist. ( open ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly

[marys2ndson]

hunting fucking sucks: a fic rec list

I just love when their lives suck not because they’re vessels for archangels or whatever, but just because their job is the worst. thankless, dangerous, morally ambiguous, leaving them injured and dirty and bone-tired. i <3 whump

Due East by sowell (4,700 words)

Just hunts and angst and them, together. Love the characterization. 

“I think I like you injured. Less bitchy,” Dean says with a smile, and Sam blinks at him. / “What?” / “You think I haven’t noticed you sulking for two days straight?”

Hard to Come By by sevenfists (1,700 words)

Hunting, driving around, sleeping in shitty motels. Making difficult choices, dealing with hard realities. 

"You don't smoke," Sam says, and Dean says, "What's it look like I'm doing?" The cigarette tastes like ass. He smokes it anyway, tapping the ash out the open window. It's August. Sam turns up the air conditioning. Dean turns it back down.

Below Breath by kalliel (3,100 words)

Season 2, case fic. Love the complete lack of exposition. You’re just thrown into it on Dean’s terms, and everything is complicated and difficult and unknown. 

Dude, he says, and shoves you in the back with his shotgun. You resist the urge to turn around and smack him with it. Or kiss him, all teeth. See how much he’s paying attention then. 

Every Rhyme Without Reason by kalliel (44,800 words) 

Season 1, case fic, Sam POV. Fascinating and atmospheric and a tough read bc Sam’s life is very uphill at this point, but he’s so present, wrestling and grappling with it. Love him. <3

Maybe they killed that rawhead, released that reaper, slashed that bax'aan's throat. Maybe they'll kill this thing in Rime. But this is what's gonna get them: They have $127.34, four more nights, half a tank of gas, and some cold leftovers to their name. Out here, there's nowhere to go but down; and even then, they're going to have to limp.

With Gravy by kalliel (3,700 words)

Vague season 2. A hunt gone wrong. Slim chances of survival, complete darkness, pain, and heroism. 

The tunnel stretches on and on, and all Dean hears is their footsteps getting heavier, sloppier. One kid cries. The woman cries. The man's leg doesn't quite clear some jutting rocks, and he weeps.

The Real Thing by ameliacareful (14,200 words)

Jensen wakes up in a motel room in Dean’s place. So outsider POV. That thing about the third trial, about Tom and Shep… Kill me. 

“Are you doing that on purpose?” / “What?” / “Sounding like him?” / “A little. Does it work?” Jensen asked. / Sam did that funny little flicker of a smile/grimace that Jared only did as Sam. “Yeah, it does.” His gaze hardened. “Don’t do it again.” / Sam was suddenly very big. Armed. / “Gotcha,” Jensen said.

Catch Your Death by road_rhythm (22,300 words)

They work a ghost hunt while Sam’s sick. This fucks severely! All their petty fights and their biases and bickering really get the spotlight they deserve, as well as the fact that they just really love and care about each other. Feels exactly like a really good ep of s2. And takes up some of the interesting Sam issues as well.

It was this, every time. Sam lashed out and Dean came back with impenetrable patience and washcloths and medicine and touch and one day it would be his life. And there was no answering back to that.

my habit of breaking hearts as soon as i have them by acccording2thelore (6,600 words)

WARNING: major character death. 

A hunt gone wrong. Staggering grief and horror mixed with intimacy and connection. <3 

If he can just get to Garth, he can send up some of his people and help carry Sam to the base of the mountain. Dean won’t make it that far.

the blurriness of being alive by hathfrozen (3,500 words)

WARNING: major character death. 

Sam dies of an infection.

“They don’t get to grieve for him,” Dean tells Miracle when he decides he isn’t calling anybody to tell them. “They ain’t allowed. They don’t get it.” Dean’s had the worst things in the known universe leeching off of him, trying to turn him into evil, but this is the most rotten, meanest he’s ever felt. He doesn’t fucking care.

A Lifetime or Two by nigeltde (18,400 words)

They work a case with their mom; Sam gets banged up; they try something new. This fic feels so real and lived in. The familiarity between Sam and Dean, the way Sam feels left out, Sam’s quiet loneliness and enduring hope, Dean’s desperate affection. <3

Sam would say lucky it was just broken bones. Lucky nothing else cut too deep. Lucky his ear was intact. Dean gets lost, strung out, trying to calculate: if Sam had been concussed, would that still be good luck? If he’d lost the finger, should Dean be thankful? Where does it end, the tallying? Sam thrown through glass, dragged across pavement, tossed into a car, stitched up in this cramped doll’s house of a room, having to bluntly endure; this is what he’s supposed to be grateful for?

Settle Down My Shivered Bones by abitingsmile (4,800 words)

WARNING: disordered eating, food insecurity, and child neglect. 

Pre-series. John, unreliable and off hunting somewhere, and Sam and Dean, making it work with too little cash and too little food. Love this exact flavor of codependency, not sweet, but hard-earned and for survival. 

Sam still bickered with him about school and television and laundry, but not about food. Hell, he practically waited for Dean to give him permission to eat, because that way they knew there’d be enough. John or no, this was something incredibly important they could control, they could handle. John simply wasn’t in the loop anymore.

[xlillyle]

Why in my humble opinion the episode brings the Mersault arc to a satisfying end regarding Fyodor, Dazai, Chuuya and the message it has

So, there's a lot of energy buzzing around in the fandom with the latest episode and I felt like some things have not been pointed out enough, therefore I'm gonna share my thoughts on the parts of Mersault. This is a thread that focuses on the conclusion of the Mersault arc as presented in the most recent episode of the anime in season 5 and I will elaborate on what I think the message of the Mersault arc is, what Fyodor's role in this arc is, I will comment on why I think he was defeated and why it fits the message and I will also go into more detail of how Chuuya and Dazai play into all of this and what I think happened in Mersault.

I'd like to start with these panels from the manga, chapter 77:

Together with this one from chapter 105:

I think these panels convey the core message of the Mersault arc very well and its goal: Everyone is just human, no matter how smart. And humans are capable of amazing things and even moreso if they come together. This is the greatest difference between Fyodor and Dazai who have been countless of times painted and stated as each other's equals - yes, they are intellectually of a level most can only dream of, only rivaled by Ranpo, but unlike Fyodor, Dazai has learnt to trust humans and understands their bonds to each other.

Fyodor doesn't.

It's a message that is heavily implied and then outright stated by Dazai in the last episode:

The reason why Fyodor fails is that he doesn't trust in people and because he doesn't understand humans in that regard - he thinks that he is above this concept, thinks he can manipulate them and that they're just pawns. It's shown in the way he talks about Sigma, it's shown in the fact that he chose to use Chuuya who is Dazai's partner against Dazai to dangle him in front of Dazai and it's shown when he mocks Dazai for not being "able" to use a "gravity manipulator" and drops the famous line of them having a "shallow bond".

Fyodor is arrogant and very confident in his own abilities, including the one to control those around him. That's what makes him slacking though, he can't comprehend that a plan that relies on a bond and trust would be able to deceive and defeat him and the closer he gets to his goal, the less he cares. That's why he allows Dazai this last speech in 109 too, he doesn't think anything can defeat him. Dazai is at his wit's end, Fyodor is the winner. There's no way that Dazai has a backup plan, Fyodor is a genius and he already thought of everything that could possibly be, so there's no way, right?

Mersault always was about showing what humans are capable of and what they can achieve and that trusting in your allies, in your bonds with the people you love, makes you more capable and achieve higher goals. And it's exactly what happened.

Dazai states that he doesn't have control over all things, that he had a lot of uncertain cards. But he trusted in his allies and it pays off. He wins not because he has it all figured out from the start and a backup plan for the backup plan of the backup plan, he did his part of the plan and adjusted to the scene and left the rest in full trust with his allies.

This pilot stabbing Fyodor worked because Dazai trusted in the agency and Ranpo and them taking over control the vampires in time. And the rest of the Mersault story before all this?

That brings me to my next point, actually. We learn in the episode that it was all a SKK scheme:

Now, some people were unsatisfied that a plan that simple couldn't fool Fyodor, but I think that is exactly the point of it. Chuuya is a great actor (in Stormbringer he fools with grief and shock Albatross in thinking he saved the in two halves separated Doc for example) and the simplicity of this plan is what makes it so good against Fyodor - why would he assume that the great Dazai, his intellectual equal, another genius, would go through with such a plan?

And it's even better because it isn't actually Dazai's! Now, I have seen a lot of people talking about this and I admit that I assumed the opposite originally as well, that this was all Dazai's scheme, but thanks to a moot I took a closer look on the storytelling and I realized something:

Dazai describes here the moment he realized that Chuuya is on his side in my opinion. This wasn't a "Dazai orchestrated the whole thing and sent Chuuya a text to haul his ass over to Mersault" because it doesn't fit with the storyline. Especially the speech in chapter 101 stands out here - a lot of people are making jokes about how weird and gay of a plan the speech is, but I actually think, based on the situation and the voice acting from Mamoru Miyano, that this goodbye speech is a genuine one.

The speech in 101 seems very genuine down to the point of his fake goodbye in the end, meanwhile the tone of a similar speech in 109 has completely shifted.

And what happened between 101 and 109? Exactly. The elevator.

So, what I'm thinking is this: Dazai saw that Fyodor had Chuuya under control and he knows his partner, he can't quite believe that Chuuya would get himself captured, it's gotta be a plan, right? Soukoku isn't actually the brains-and-brawn duo even though everyone thinks that, but Dazai knows how capable and smart Chuuya is. He hid Arahabaki from him and figured out Rimbaud after all.

But still, there is this bit of doubt nurtured by fear - he trusts Chuuya, but what if this isn't his Chuuya? So his goodbye speech is both:

An attempt to snap Chuuya out of it, an attempt to communicate with him, the hope that carries him because this is his partner, right? Stupid Chuuya that always fights and always clings to life and knows to appreciate it a lot more than Dazai.

But also a genuine goodbye, just... in case. Because he could never forgive himself if he doesn't say goodbye to Chuuya, JUST IN CASE. He trusts and believes in Chuuya, but he can't not say goodbye to him, just in case that Fyodor really got Chuuya.

And then the elevator scene happens and Dazai realizes: He only has one way of surviving, but he will not drag Sigma into this, not if he can help it. And he made a promise to him, after all. So, Dazai pushes Sigma out, makes sure that Sigma is alive like he promised. Then he keeps falling.

The only one that can save him now is Chuuya and Dazai decides to trust him. If this is his Chuuya, Chuuya will save him. Because that is what they do: Soukoku come to each other's call, they trust each other with their life and in return get that life saved by the other.

And if this isn't his Chuuya? Well, then Dazai died for the sake of the agency and he probably thinks that this is a good way to die, too.

But he doesn't die. He gets saved by Chuuya of course, how could he have ever considered something else? Chuuya came to his help and he has a plan. So, now all Dazai has to do is play along, just like in old times.

I wanna talk about this specific part of 109 too - I saw people arguing that the fact that Chuuya has been acting all the time made the scenes less impactful for the plot or their bond, but I actually would argue the opposite. Like I just laid out, in my opinion he only learnt just before this that Chuuya is on his side. That means, they don't have an actual plan that they discussed before, but they're good, they're Soukoku - we have seen in Dead Apple during the Dragonhead's Conflict and in the Dragon fight 6 years later what they are capable of without much communication.

But this is not only a way to show off their flawless communication and synchronization again, it also shows us something that we always knew but that is now plainly laid out: Dazai trusts Chuuya with his life. He trusts Chuuya to shoot, but not kill him.

Truly, you could say:

"The core characterization of Dazai and Chuuya's partnership is based on pure trust where both of them are capable of leaving each other's life on the other's hand without a second thought or doubt." - from the Dead Apple guide book

Chuuya acting from the very beginning as vampire and Dazai finding out along with a leap of faith and them proving once again the close bond they share is exactly the way this arc was supposed to go and the fact that it was predictable in that sense doesn't make it bad writing. In contrary. Asagiri set up and delivered the message of the arc extremely well, the arc had a clear red string following through all of it.

And this is why, in my opinion, this arc was actually written very well and why Fyodor's defeat is actually a good break for his character arc (because I don't believe he is dead, but this here is already way too long and many others have pointed plenty why he probably isn't dead) and why I really like the message of the Mersault arc.

[rorynni]

Not enough people talk about how good of a friend Armin was to Eren and how in touch he was with not only his own emotions but other people’s as well, so I’m gonna say my piece.

This scene always comes to mind. Armin notices that Eren is shaking and asks him if he’s scared.

Eren, being a teenage boy who thinks he’s tough shit (for lack of better words), immediately gets defensive as a gut reaction to what he probably perceives as an accusation instead of a genuine observation (again, because he’s a teenage boy who thinks he’s tough shit).

Armin’s response to that is to empathise with Eren and show sensitivity and solidarity, like: “Hey it’s okay if you’re scared dude, I’m shaking too.”

He’s not ashamed of the fact that he’s afraid because he knows that it’s a perfectly normal human response to the situation he’s in. He even goes so far as to physically show Eren that he’s trembling as well, and Eren’s demeanour changes immediately after that.

Even in this scene where Eren, Mikasa and Armin have canons pointed at them, Armin is able to understand and empathise with the fact that the Garrison soldiers’ hostility towards them is due to them being scared because they don’t know what’s happening.

In the early days of the fandom, when season one was airing especially, a lot of fans were very quick to label Armin as a crybaby, but the thing is that Armin is just as intelligent emotionally as he is logistically.

He’s able to identify his own emotions and express them healthily (most of the time), which means that he cries more often than other characters because he’s going through a hell of a lot throughout the series and his output for those emotions of fear, grief and stress is tears. Of course he’s also guilty of bottling them up at times — nobody’s perfect — but he generally just seems to have a better grasp and understanding of his own feelings and the feelings of others than many other characters.

[percervall]

one day I’ll forget about it (knowing it probably isn’t true)

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x fem!reader Words: 2129 Request: Carlos Sainz + boygenius - Cool About It Warnings: angst? heart break, mentions of a break up, mentions of the shitshow that is Ferrari 2022/2023

In which you're trying to be cool about it

---

The thing no one talks about when it comes to grief is that it’s not only a side effect of death. Or at least not of death in the sense of a finite ending of a person. Because when it comes to grieving the end of a relationship, there is no finite ending; There is no closure, no matter how much you talk things through and dissect the whys and hows of the ending. There is no closure, you discovered, because while you were left reeling and dealing with what felt like the loss of a limb, he moved on –moved away. 

Perhaps that was something to be grateful for. Not having to see him at every event in the lives of your overlapping friend groups made it more bearable to pick up the pieces, to smooth over the jagged edges of you he left in his wake as he tore himself away. You had almost convinced yourself that you were okay, when your best friend mouths an apology as you lay eyes on him entering the pub –Carlos. You give her a tight-lipped smile to convey you are fine while you watch him walk to where your group of friends is sitting. You almost hate him then –almost being the operative word. He looks good, hair tousled as usual and dressed in jeans and a knit polo. Conveniently for you, your wine arrives and you can busy yourself with taking a sip as he greets everyone. During the rest of the evening you try your hardest to avoid interacting with him unless you really have to. Of course this leads to some funny looks from Lando, who’s become the centre of what used to be the Venn-diagram of you and Carlos and has remained a close friend after the split. I’m trying, you want to tell him, he has broken me beyond repair, but you do what you do best and hide behind the stereotypical stiff upper lip.

The text comes a couple of weeks later. Lando sends you the link to an article and the preview of it is enough to leave him on read. In hindsight you should have expected nothing less from him when your phone rings later that night; Lando is nothing if not persistent.

“Have you read it?”

“Hello to you too,” you deadpan as you settle on the couch.

“Sorry. Hi, have you read it?”

“Lando-..” you start, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“No don’t give me that,” he interrupts, “Read the article and then please ring me back. Just-.. Please?” 

“..Fine.” You finish the call and click on the link. Taking a deep breath you begin reading a chronological account of the 2022 season that reads like a comedy of errors. At first you’re not sure why Lando sent you this; They won podiums, sometimes even in P1, but the further you scroll down, the more you realise just how much things have taken a turn.

“What do you want me to do with this?” you ask Lando as soon as he picks up. 

“He is struggling a lot. This season is even worse. I need you to understand that he is not fine, not by a long shot. You may think that he has moved on but he hasn’t.” 

“Lando, he broke up with me. I might not remember much from that time, but I distinctly remember you letting me cry into your hoodie for days on end that winter. How is this my problem?” You can’t help the bitter tone of your voice.

“Because once upon a time he had someone in his corner. This second fiddle role is gonna break him. I know he fucked up, that he broke your heart, but please I am begging you, you were the only person who could get through to him. Please help me help my friend?” 

“If -and it’s a big if- I say yes, I’m only doing so because I love you.”

“I will be forever in your debt,” Lando replies and you can pick up on the desperation in his voice. Things must have gotten really bad if he offers you a carte blanche like this. 

“Just-.. Get me one of Daniel’s t-shirts and a sweater and we’ll call it even.” 

“We’re flying to Hungary together, why don’t you join? I’m sure he’d love to give it to you personally.” You sigh, flopping back onto the couch and as you stare up at the ceiling, you agree to his plan. A part of you wonders whether you’re just a glutton for punishment. Who’s to say Carlos even wants you there? Only one way to find out, you think and drag yourself to your bedroom to start packing. 

The flight to the Hungarian Grand Prix goes by a lot quicker than you had anticipated. It helps that you haven’t seen Daniel for months and the two of you have a lot of catching up to do. For a moment you forget why you’re even at the track in the first place when you keep being stopped by the other drivers on the grid for a quick chat, but that all comes to a screeching halt when Charles spots you. 

“Oh thank God,” he breathes and pretty much sags into your arms as he hugs you. You have no time to respond or ask questions before he leads you to Ferrari hospitality, Lando in tow. As you sit outside, sipping your coffee, Charles tells you just how messed up things have gotten at Ferrari, how while Charles is fortunate to have the entire force of the Tifosi behind him, Carlos doesn’t share that same protection. You can see the pain in his eyes at not being able to fulfil his godfather’s dreams and the weight of that on his shoulders.

“I have tried everything, but he has shut me out completely. Will you please talk to him?” 

“Charles, why do you think he will listen to me? I-.. I am no longer part of his life, he made sure of that,” you all but whisper.

“Because he is still in love with you,” Charles says and it feels like someone has pulled the rug out from under you. 

“It’s true,” Lando offers, “Not a month has gone by where he hasn’t asked me how you were. I get that you don’t believe us. Hell, I wouldn’t believe it either if I were you.” You stare into your coffee cup, swirling the dregs of your espresso around not too dissimilar to how their words are swirling around in your head. 

“Please, just-.. Please, will you try and talk to him?” Charles asks you again, desperation evident in his voice and eyes when you finally look up at him. You don’t trust yourself to speak, so all you can do is nod. Relief floods both their faces and you brace yourself a little to see him again for the first time in months. Charles leads you upstairs to the driver rooms, leaving Lando behind who promises he’ll wait for you. Rupert and Caco are seated on the same floor, both shooting you a hopeful look as you pass them on your way to Carlos’ room. Charles knocks quietly, pushing the door open ever so slightly.

“Not now,” Carlos bites back.

“Mate?” Charles calls out in the hopes he will turn around. Whatever insult Carlos was about to hurl his teammate’s way, dies on his lips when he sees you in the door opening. 

“Hey,” you offer quietly. Charles whispers that he’ll be downstairs if you need him, squeezing your arm as he leaves you behind. Carlos can’t stop staring at you, mouth slightly agape and eyes round. 

“Hey,” he finally manages as you step into the room, sliding the door closed behind you and leaning against it.

“What-.. How-..?” he tries to ask, struggling to get a coherent sentence out.

“Lando. He’s worried about you. So’s Charles. I’m a last resort apparently,” you try to joke, but the nerves make it impossible for you to keep your tone teasing. Carlos sighs and slumps down on a chair as he mulls this over. It allows you a moment to look at him, to really look at him. His hair is a mess, which is not uncommon for him, but you can tell he has been running his hands through it in frustration. His stubble is slowly edging towards unkempt rather than rugged, and there’s a sadness and exhaustion in his eyes that makes you ache for him. 

“Carlos..” you start, stuffing your hands in your pockets to refrain yourself from reaching out to him. He looks up at you, tears threatening to spill.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, voice breaking, “I’m sorry. I hurt you and pushed you away and I am so sorry.” 

“Why?” you whisper.

“I thought-.. I thought that it would be for the best. When the call came that Ferrari wanted me, I was so excited but I could never ask you to give up everything for me. So I figured this was for the best, that letting you go was for the best. God, was I wrong…” Carlos all but whispers that last part but the pain is tangible. 

“We could’ve made it work. Had you talked to me, we could’ve figured out a solution. You didn’t have to do this all on your own.” You want to be angry at him, unleash the heartache you’ve had to bottle up for the last three years, but instead your heart breaks for the man you once loved –the man you still love, despite it all. 

“I never stopped caring about you,” you say, not daring to look at him out of fear of seeing any ounce of hope in those brown eyes that once offered you so much solace, “I probably also didn’t stop loving you which made it so much harder to see you out there, living your dream while I was left with a gaping hole in my chest. Seeing you at the pub that night made it so much worse. You seemed so confident, so carefree, whereas I had barely managed to put my heart back together only for it to fall apart all over again. I’m not saying I forgive you, but I understand now, or at least somewhat understand why you thought you had to do what you did. It will take time for us to figure out where we stand, but in the meantime I can at least offer you friendship. I’ll be here all weekend, you have Lando to thank for that. If you need someone to talk to outside of this circus, I will be in the McLaren motorhome.” 

“Thank you,” Carlos whispers, “I know it doesn’t fix or prove anything, but I also never stopped loving you. I have been anything but okay, guess I was just good at pretending I was. The races kept me distracted from the pain at first, but now it’s only adding to it. I don’t know how much more of this I can take…” He looks up at you, tears threatening to spill. You step closer and he allows you to pull him into a hug, face buried against your chest and arms wrapped around you, almost as if he’s afraid you might disappear if he doesn’t hold on for dear life. All his worries come tumbling out, about how he’s had to become both driver, strategist and race engineer during the weekends, how the team prioritising Charles again and again has begun to put a strain on their friendship and how the media’s commentary on said treatment is only making things so much worse since it has put both of them in a loop of damned if we do, damned if we don’t, how his dad continuously commenting on his future has made it difficult to even be in the same room as the man he once called his hero. You listen to it all, rubbing your hand up and down his back, easing the tension out of his muscles. When Carlos has run out of tears and words, you lift his face so you can look at him, brushing your thumb across his cheekbone.

“That’s a lot to carry, Carlos, but you’ve got people in your corner. I will always be in your corner, no matter what. How about you take a nap, I will still be here when you wake up and we just take it one step at a time, okay?” Carlos nods and you see the tiniest glint of hope in his eyes that is mirrored in the tiniest spark in your heart, that maybe this –all of it and any of it– is not beyond salvation just yet.

Yeah, so this kind of took on a life of its own? I don't know man, I listened to the song on repeat and started thinking about the different ways we can grief and how sometimes appearances function as a shield to deflect from how you're truly hurting and suddenly I was over 2k into a fic that was supposed to be a blurb? Oops? If you'd like even more heartache, most of this was written while listening to Bon Iver's re:stacks

Massive thanks to @moneyymaseyy for letting me talk through the plot and being my beta reader

Please, feel free to let me know what you think, your comments, tags, and likes mean the world to me 💜

[boobi-boy]

HOT TAKE. As a society, we are conditioned to hate final seasons. This is fair. We were all betrayed by Game of Thrones and Supernatural and whatnot. As someone who has never watched these (I have only heard generalised complaints about them), let me (drunkenly) yap about the Umbrella Academy s4.

I'm gonna try and keep this vaguely organised.

Luther

I was an adamant Luther hater back in season one and two, I will admit, meeting his actor at Comic Con in 2021 did colour my opinion a little bit, but I loved him in season three. I mean, his romance with Sloane always felt a little rushed to me, but it was certainly sweet, and their wedding was a nice tie in to the "we only see each other at weddings and funerals" thing.

Pros;

In season four, I loved him. He's optimistic about life and goes to great lengths to brighten the moods of people around him, which is the kind of person he lacked all his life. He's being the person he always needed and I love that for him.

The implication that he's pushing aside his festering feelings of dissatisfaction for his life to be there for other people is so moving, and also I love those moments where him and Allison get to just be normal siblings, showing that he's moved on from that toxic era of his life.

His fight scenes are epic and he's all round a good character this season. I understand people's disdain for being sidelined, along with his grief for Sloane, but there are a certain two factors that should be taken into consideration here. The first being that, by s4e1, its been six years since he lost her. He has probably processed that grief and moved on by now, despite how profound the loss. Obviously he still thinks about her, which is why he occasionally brings her up, but it's been a long time. Additionally, he's semi-sidelined because his character arc was pretty well rounded by the end of s3. He's moved on from Allison and was on a trajectory for a healthier life. Its tragic that he lost Sloane, but good that he continued trying to be happy.

Cons;

I do wish his relationship with Ben had been more developed this season. To me, I think the implication is that he's hanging on to Sparrow Ben as a brother (in-law) because he's the closest remaining connection to the Sparrow Academy, therefore Sloane.

Why is he living in the decrepit Sparrow Academy house? Why? Literally why??? This needed more explanation.

Diego

My mother hates him. I lowkey love him. In season two, his character plus his saviour complex was explored so fucking well. I loved him then. I think his character in season three is a decent testament to how boring 'settling down' can be.

Pros;

He reacts very well to everything that happens. That's the best way I could explain it. The realisation that sometimes life is just normal. Its a sweet plotline and I enjoyed it

I loved his relationship with Luther, his visit to the CIA and the fun approach to his power this season.

His final words to Lila, that he knew she didn't mean to hurt him, were so mature and a brilliant way of rounding off his character with a sense of satisfaction and finality. I loved it so much. In that moment, before everything, he was her husband, and that was beautiful.

Cons;

I have very few. I think his depiction as a mailman is silly. I just wish it had been a different job.

Also I wish he'd spoken more Punjabi because I'm pretty sure (correct me if I'm wrong) he learnt that to converse with Lila and her family in their native language, despite Lila's family speaking English.

Why was he immature enough to fight with Five over his wife when the literal world was ending? Not very consistent with his character development but I still liked that scene. Honestly, that was obviously written in as a segue to Five going back to the subway so I guess it did have to be there it just felt a bit weird.

Allison

Oh dear God. Allison Hargreeves, what happened to you? I loved her so much in seasons one and two. Season three Allison ruined everything ever forever. Not through bad writing. Through very good and despicably devastating writing. She has lost so much and she coped with it so badly that she altered all of time to avoid her grief. The evillest girlboss of all time.

Pros;

CLAIRE! Claire Bear. I love you. Thank you season four for giving us Claire and Claire/Allison bonding time.

Also the fact that she's coping with her being a terrible human being by babysitting Klaus for five years (which she is obviously very spiteful about) is very well written.

I like the return of Allison badassery when she shows up and literally busts a man's balls.

I like how she ends the show being physically vulnerable and now Klaus is taking care of her now. That was cute.

Also I love that she's being held accountable for her actions and it makes her a slightly better person! That was fun.

I like that we learn that without her power she was a B-list actor at best.

Cons;

What the fuck were her powers this season? I know they got janky marigold but why is she literally just telekinetic now????

Why didn't they tell us why Ray walked out? She literally altered time to get him back. Like, I know Allison has fucked up every relationship she's ever had but PLEASE tell us what happened.

Also fuck you for what you did to Klaus.

Klaus.

Oh, Klaus Hargreeves, the man that you were. Season one. TRAGIC. I loved it. Season two, the exact same commentary. Season three, I loved him so much, he keeps being my FAVOURITE and also the idea that the drugs and trauma thwarted the full potential of his powers, but the drugs was the only thing that could keep him sane because of his trauma and his powers was so cool. Well done for beginning to overcome your rampant daddy issues Klaus. Season four. He is still my favourite.

Pros;

Having him sell his body in the weirdest way possible was amazing. I love to see it.

The moment between him and Claire where she knew exactly what was happening and he just repeats 'it's too late' and swears at her. Beautifully devastating.

Him getting buried alive was so fucking fitting I can't properly explain it I just love it.

His final line, and the third-to-final line of dialogue in the whole shows being 'I just wanna say, I love you guys, but you're all assholes' sums up perfectly. And it just had to be him that said that. He can never escape his nihilism and I love him for it. Its who he is.

Learning that the 'real' Klaus is a total germophobe was fun.

Cons;

Give my man more screen time. I beg. I am on my knees begging. Please Mr Blackman. Please Mr Way. Give the love of my life more screen time.

I wish Dave had been mentioned once or twice. Dave is forever a part of Klaus. Why didn't he try to contact him when he got his powers back? Why has he forgotten him? If Luther gets a Sloane mention then Klaus should have gotten a Dave mention. I guess Netflix hates the queers unless they're from Heartstopper (/j)

Five

Five is my mother's favourite and she was vomming this season because of you-know-what. The poor woman. She still loves him though, So did I. Five defines The Umbrella Academy. He spent two seasons wearing the uniform, he got the first f-bomb, he was responsible for SO much exposition. All in all, he is quintessential to the aesthetic, plot, and entire existence of the series. Did season four give him justice?

Pros;

I love Five being a CIA agent. This is so him.

Jerome is a funny name for him.

He doesn't ever stop being himself and I love that.

I like how blunt he is about the fact they all have to end their existence. He understands existentialism and his place in the universe more than his siblings (and most people ever) can fathom. It had to be him to deliver that news and he does it so well.

Cons;

The elephant in the room. Him and Lila. I see it. I see the vision. Yes. If two people spend seven years with only each other for company, suspended in time, they will probably develop a romantic relationship. That doesn't make me like it. It is in character for him to lie to Lila (or withhold information from her)about knowing the way home. I just hated every second of it. I thought they were going to steer clear of Five romantic relationships because of how weird his ageing is. He's mentally more than twenty years older than Lila and physically more than ten years younger than her. It is gross. I hate it. It was a reasonable plot choice Honestly, their relationship remaining strictly platonic would have been less realistic than what happened but when has this show ever been realistic? I will say, it makes sense for Five to revert to old coping mechanisms (I am referring to Delores) in a time like this, it's just that this time he had a real person to enact them with. In times of utter distress, Five is a romanticist, so at least his character is consistent.

Why didn't they let him wear a suit that fits him? That was not nice.

Ben

Sparrow Ben is a sexy cunt. I love how much of a knob he is. All the time. This season was a slay for him. We heart assimilation allegories for love and obsession.

Pros;

I repeat - I love the assimilation metaphor. He didn't get to go with grace. I've seen people criticising that he got no meaningful death scene but that's the point. His meaningful death was stolen from him because of his unhealthy obsession with Jennifer and how deeply in love with her he was. It's a commentary of how toxic and co-dependant relationships will destroy a person. I love it.

I love the scene where him and Jennifer are sat either side of the wall watching the same movie. That was so fucking cute.

Cons;

The CGI for his powers was shit. He looked like the squid version of She-Hulk.

Why have the Umbrellas just adopted him into his family? That was weird.

Victor

I have always loved him. Best trans representation I've ever seen. Autism coded. The amount of times I said 'His powers are just autism sensory overload' or 'his powers are just anger issues' has probably burned the phrase into my mother's mind.

Pros;

I like that he was a manwhore in Canada.

I love him having control over his powers this season. We support self control my man.

I love how adamant he is to save Ben. All this man has ever wanted was to save someone. And he never could. So he sacrificed himself to save the world.

Cons;

I was not here for the fit this season. The boots. The jean jacket. Not a serve. I am sorry.

He was kinda cringe and irrelevant this season I'm not gonna lie.

Lila

Thank you Lila for being what I picture when I hear Golden Brown. It makes me happy.

Pros;

A devoted mother. We love her. I also love that her character involves her children but she's more than that. But she still sacrifices everything for them. "Make sure to read to Gracie every night! And don't let the twins fight!" absolutely destroyed me.

I don't know what it is but her fit ate this season.

Her final words being 'Fuck you!' was fun.

Cons;

Her 'LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME' personality got annoying after about four episodes. Not even in s4, just in general.

I wish her backstory had been more addressed this season. It was just completely ignored. Sad.

The Plot.

Pros;

If this show is anything, it is self aware. It makes fun of itself for just doing the apocalypse four times. I love it.

The tragic ending. Too many shows have happy endings these days. I need my bittersweet tragedy and the Umbrella Academy delivered. It actually made me bawl because these characters meant so fucking much to me.

I always said that Klaus's story couldn't end without him dying. I also felt like Five dying would work. Now I think that if one of them goes, they all have to. They were born at the same time and they died that way too. It explains WHY they keep ending the world. Their very existence is apocalyptic. They are a collective incarnation of the apocalypse and that just rounds off the show in such a meaningful way.

I know people hate the 'one true timeline' thing and the 'they all die' thing and feel like its a copout, but its so beautiful to me. They were the problem the whole time. They can't just find some creative and resourceful way out of it this time. This is the end. That's WHY the SONG in the TRAILER WAS 'THE END' by My Chemical Romance!!!!!!!!!!!

Cons;

The plot holes like why does Luther getting his powers back give him his monkey body back when the life-saving surgery that he didn't need in this timeline didn't happen???

Along with many other plot holes that have already been pointed out within this post and by other people a million times so I won't go through the tedium of doing what has already been done.

Special mentions!

The Gene & Jean dance scene! The show knew they couldn't get away with making the Umbrellas dance again but they needed an obligatory Umbrella Academy dance scene and they ATE IT UP.

The song they danced to was also a banger, which segues nicely into my next mention which is the SOUNDTRACK. It SLAPS. Muse! Bloodhound Gang! Cher! ALL IN ONE SHOW. The Umbrella Academy's soundtrack has always been amazing and season four is not any different.

The closing line "On the eighth of august 2024" etc. DESTROYED ME.

THE USE OF 'I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW' KILLED ME.

THE POST CREDITS WITH THE MARIGOLD FLOWERS AAAAGHHH.

ALL THE SIDE CHARACTERS UGH.

Also, the production photos from across the years in the credits. I loved them so fucking much.

They kept handling Victor's trans storyline well, not pretending he was never a girl and including him in flashbacks. Idk I liked it.

Diego naming his daughter after his mother is so sweet.

Random criticism though - the casting for the teen versions of the Umbrellas was ATROCIOUS. Klaus somehow looked five years old and in his mid forties at the same time.

[psiroller]

boobs man

this is a compound drabble request from two discord server buddies, @snakewife and @avoidcrow, who wanted a scene of chilchuck and laios hanging out in a tavern and for collaring to be somehow involved. i ended up liking it a lot, so consider this a preview for the next fic in the break the lock series :3

CHILAIOS/822 WORDS

cw: petplay, collaring, dudes being freaky in public with their clothes on

Of all the seasons, a summer evening was best for a night out drinking. Chilchuck liked it close to sweltering, the humid air starting to cool once the sun had finally set; not so hot that a glass of wine made him feel nauseous and lethargic, but warm enough that when Laios finally showed up, he had the first few buttons of his shirt collar undone. Chilchuck waved him down with a lecherous grin and patted the bench next to him, getting the blurry lower half of a winning smile from Laios. Chilchuck was not a good enough man to look a few inches up, at least not a few glasses deep, but Laios didn’t mind.

“Hey,” Chilchuck said. He jostled somewhat when Laios sat down next to him but played it off smoothly by leaning on the table, cheek against knuckle. “What took you so long? We had to start the first round without you.”

“I’m sure you absolutely had to,” Laios teased, earning him a weak punch to the shoulder that could be confused for a mosquito bite. No more horseplay in public, they’d agreed, for Chilchuck’s safety from Falin.  “Just wanted to get ready.”

“Getting dolled up for me, huh?” Chilchuck’s eyes had yet to move upwards, fixated on a bead of sweat that slid across Laios’ collarbone and down around the curve of one of his pecs. Laios leaned in with both arms crossed and the drop disappeared into the appealing crease formed by the press of his biceps. Chilchuck’s gaze was pointed and unwavering, and Laios felt a head rush that couldn’t be blamed on alcohol. It was only after Chilchuck handed him his glass to finish off that any wine had made it into his bloodstream.

“Yeah, sure,” Laios shrugged. “What? You don’t like it?” he asked with just a hint of a whine.

Chilchuck’s eyebrows furrowed. “When have I ever complained about you having those things out?”

“Ah, so you haven’t looked up yet, then.”

That’s when Chilchuck saw the glimmer of a silver clasp, the mottled ink-blue scales of a hydra, his familiar stitching along the seam of a collar. His eyes bulged out of his skull and he choked on his own spit, coughing into his elbow. It was Laios’ turn to be smug, finishing off the glass and placing it decisively on the counter. Even while Chilchuck was dying, he couldn’t help but notice the slightest jiggle.

“I thought—ack.” Chilchuck rubbed his throat as he calmed himself down. “I need to quit smoking…”—Laios nodded sadly—“I thought I told you not to wear that outside of…!” Chilchuck gestured vaguely.

“You did,” Laios said flippantly, with a shrug. Chilchuck’s eyebrow raised. “But I thought it might be fun to try it just once.”

“Are you sure this is the only time?” Chilchuck asked with a suspicious inflection. Laios looked away and twiddled his sleeve with his thumb.

“I wear it to sleep sometimes,” Laios confessed. Chilchuck felt his blood run cold, how a deer must feel when an unseen wolf lays its eyes upon it. Laios watched him go through three of five stages of grief before patting Chilchuck on the back reassuringly. “I take it off before I get out of bed. Falin hasn’t seen, or at least hasn’t said anything.”

Chilchuck pushed his palms into his eyes. “You’re gonna kill me one day, Lai.”

Laios preened. “I thought that was what you were into.”

Chilchuck whipped around to tell him off, pointer finger primed, and Laios was all smiles. The radiance of it sucked the breath out of Chilchuck’s lungs, the hint of barely restrained laughter. The wine was already making him flush.

“With the party here, though? Really?” Chilchuck hissed. Laios hummed.

“That’s also why I waited,” he said. “Look at ‘em.”

Namari was hooting and hollering as Falin and Marcille chugged cheap beer from their steins, arms hooked around each other in the most primal display of human camaraderie.  It was frankly beautiful, or would have been if Chilchuck wasn’t going to have to make sure a wasted Marcille made it home safe before dragging Laios to the guild house. No one was paying attention. Even Shuro looked like he was having fun.

Chilchuck looked back up at Laios, who cocked his head, waiting for whatever it was Chilchuck clearly wanted to say. Laios looked like he was having fun, too.

Sighing with deep and grave responsibility, Chilchuck reached a hand into the collar of his shirt and pulled at a chain. There was a familiar padlock, small and more of an ornament than any serious piece of hardware, and a dark blue key. Laios’ stomach fell out as Chilchuck unhooked the padlock and stood up on his knees to snap it around the two clasps of his collar, and tucked the chain and key away.

“If anyone asks, you lost a bet,” Chilchuck muttered. Nobody asked.

[anundyingfidelity]

SENSE OF DOUBT — Dean Winchester

Summary: Dean is gone, but one day he shows up at your door to see you one last time before it's over.

Pairing: Dean x female reader.

Word count: 596.

Notes: this is part of @artyandink Jensen's drabble marathon!! Also I'm barely on season 8 of spn but he died on a hunt in this fic (sorry for killing him again😩), also heavily influenced by 'The Winchesters' because it was the first thing I ever saw and now I'm hooked up with the whole spn universe, so thank you to that show and because Dean looked so fucking good

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

The knock on your door startled you for a moment. You were not expecting anyone at this time. It was night already, and you were going to bed soon, just to wait for another day of your miserable life. Ever since he was gone, keeping up with the future was an unbearable pain that you had to learn to control. For him.

Or else, you knew you'd be dead by now, because you were brave enough to kill yourself to die by his side.

It was a hard hunt you got into. Dean wasn't able to get out alive and for months you blamed yourself for it.

Sam used to be there for you, before he got married, letting you cry on his shoulder and cling into his arms. You mourned together, until somehow you were able to go through the sorrow together.

Your eyes filled with tears and a soft gasp left your lips once you opened the door. Seeing him there almost got you thinking it was a dream; one of those you used to have when the rain was pouring and the sadness and grief took over the most.

"Hey," he said, smiling softly. He had the same soft look on his eyes you loved so dearly. Dean noticed you froze in place, and walked even closer to you as you reached his hand to confirm he was real.

He was there. As if nothing happened.

"Dean?" you whispered, feeling the tears sliding on your cheeks. He cupped your face with his hands, wiping them off your skin as he nodded, pressing his forehead against yours in a lovely gesture. You sobbed, smiling through. "How?"

He pressed his lips on yours with love and care. "Just a last hunt."

With bright eyes, you were startled at him, watching every freckle and wrinkle on his face, memorizing his bright green eyes, just to think this was how you would have ended if things were different.

Maybe you would have retired already from hunting. You could have married, then have a family just like Sam did, visit him and his son and wife every weekend, have what neither you or Dean and his brother never had. A real family; something to protect and take care of. Too sad 'what ifs' were not real and all that was a long gone dream buried deeply in the back of your head.

You started to doubt for a second. You had very vivid dreams before, but this was different. You could feel the warmth coming from his body, his heart beating, and his touch was exactly how you remembered. Dean was exactly how you remembered him. And you accepted he was finally there.

"I missed you so fucking much, you don't have any idea," you mumbled, kissing him anew.

You pulled him inside your apartment after breaking the kiss, closing the door behind your back.

"You're gonna tell me everything," you said, hand on his stubbled cheek. "How much time you have?"

He arched a brow. "Being honest, I don't know... I've been around for some time, I guess I lost the count."

There was a glimpse of sadness in your eyes he noticed, but you swallowed the pain and nodded.

"Then we gotta take advantage of it before it's over, right?"

He nodded this time, softly grabbing your wrist as you continued to caress his cheek. "Yeah, we'll do, sweetheart."

Dean taglist (some of them can't tag them sorry 😩)

@thesilmarillionblog

@onlyangel-444

@daisy-the-quake

@jackles010378

@cassieriddle713

@deans-spinster-witch

@feyresqueen

@drasticemotions @stoneyggirl2

@sapnaploves

@k-slla

[suffersinfandom]

I feel for the Izzy fans, I really do. It sucks to have your favorite character killed off, especially when you feel like their death serves no narrative purpose. It genuinely hurts to lose a character that you identify closely with, and it's okay to be sad and grieve. The character might not be real, but the grief is. Let people mourn. Don't be rude to the ones who are just being sad in their little corners of the internet, yeah?

That said.

Some of the stuff I've seen in the OFMD fandom today? Worst shit I've seen in a fandom that I love and care about, and grief is no excuse. I know I'm a no one in this fandom and I'm mostly typing into a void, but I've got to get some things out:

The show doesn't deserve to be canceled. None of the creators, producers, or writers deserve to be canceled. Nothing queerphobic, homophobic, or ableist happened.

Izzy's death was not an insult or a cruelty or a targeted attack.

David Jenkins and the rest of the writers did not gaslight and abuse anyone (yeah, those are take I've seen).

It wasn't "objectively" a cheap or meaningless or badly-written death. You can hate it and that's okay, but that's still subjective!

Izzy was not the main character or the "heart" of the show. The heart of the show -- the show itself -- is Ed and Stede's relationship. We have been told as much.

"Ed hasn't faced any consequences for his actions." He has though? He didn't gaslight girlboss his way back into everyone's hearts. Izzy is not Ed's hapless and helpless victim. He was almost beaten to death and ran around in a penitence onesie with a catbell on; I think those were consequences.

"How do you feel when gay characters are randomly killed off to help a straight couple progress their narrative? Not good, huh? That's how disabled fans feel." It's okay to feel that way, but don't make any sweeping assumptions about disabled fans. I'm disabled and I'm gonna say that's not what happened here.

"How dare you kill off this character who's abused, flawed, suicidal, disabled, and queer!" Ed is still right over there, yeah? Check, check, check, check, and check. (Little note: I've seen a lot of "he's not disabled!" Even if you don't buy the kneebrace ((Ed Teach with bad joints is so important to me, shhh)), what about invisible disabilities? What about mental health issues? I'm not here to diagnose a fictional character, but it's clear to me that Ed has mental health problems that dramatically impact his life.)

"It's sick that Izzy died in the arms of his abuser apologizing to him." I don't even know where to start with this one, but I get the feeling that some parts of the fandom only consider physical abuse valid. Mental, verbal, and emotional abuse are pretty fucking damaging and I think it's sick that some folks think they aren't actually abuse.

People who enjoyed the last episode of season two aren't media illiterate. People who love Gentlebeard aren't abusive narcissists.

I just.

I really, truly feel for Izzy fans for I too have lost a blorbo. I'm giving a huge hug to the Izzy enjoyers who aren't out there making threats and calling everyone abusers and being outright hostile to anyone who had the nerve to enjoy this season. Like, I genuinely hope you guys are doing okay, and if you need an ear, I'm game.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Great teen talk overall, but honestly I was particularly interested in what Matt had to say about where Lincoln is at right now (and that we might get a better glimpse into this next episode? Which has me both nervous and excited but I'm trying not to think about it *too* much cause I'm already super nervous about how things are gonna pan out for the twins next episode).

It all tracks- Lincoln's increasingly nihilistic view of the world impeding on his ability to feel much of anything but nevertheless caring about how *his friends* are feeling and what they want. Being too deep in a dissociative state to process his own grief (and everything else) but caring that *Normal* is sad and doing what he can to help him.

I think Lincoln is a funny and incredibly fascinating character because if you look at his words, honestly no one can deliver a blow like Lincoln- a trademark of his brutal honesty, and in most stark contrast to Normal's "toxic positivity", neither being inherently better or worse than the other just inverted, and reflective of different values (something something cheerkicks is doomed by the narrative they should kiss etc. etc. not what the post is about). Conversely, if you look at Lincoln's actions (and Lincoln is, at his heart, an action-oriented character), truly nobody is putting their ass on the line for the people around them quite like Linc is. I've stated on several occasions that I believe Lincoln is the most selfless of the teens, and I stand by this, but this is a virtue as much as it as a flaw. It's heroic, to put yourself in a line of fire to save your friend's dad, or impale your leg on a candy cane twice to get an anchor, or hug your friend to show them you care even if it literally winds up killing you- but it also reflects self-preservation instincts that somehow manage to be even weaker than those of the guy who tried to throw himself out of a building thinking that a parachute would save him (god I love Taylor).

Lincoln cares immensely about his friends (despite his growing numbness to the world around him), but dangerously little about himself and what becomes of his own life. As a less dire example, "Apollo Four Teens" acts as a great demonstration of how Lincoln will stretch himself thin for everyone around him until there's nothing left, but forgets in the process to stop and register his own emotions and tend to his own needs. Combine this with Lincoln's perpetual "keep calm and roll with the punches" attitude towards the nonstop bullshit the teens have gone through over the course of the season, including an extensive list of unresolved issues related to Grant (which by now I've outlined fairly thoroughly), and you have a serious recipe for disaster. Characters like Normal and Scary are, relatively speaking, pretty obvious and emotive with respect to their pain, even when they are trying not to be. This is good, since it makes it easier for other characters to recognize that they need help in the first place and try to look out for them (they may not always know how to do so correctly, but the intent is there). Lincoln, in contrast, shuts down and becomes less emotive in response to his own pain (in a manner that is somewhat similar to Darryl, more similar to Glenn, and of course most similar to Grant, but ultimately different from all of them), silently building his walls up higher and higher but being no safer for it. It is partially for this reason that other characters very rarely think to check in on Linc and see how he's doing (Taylor to his credit tried after the titanic episode, but that got interrupted, and Grant does also try but- much like his own dad with him- fails to meet his son halfway in being honest and vulnerable and hence fails to make any progress), leaving him to mostly suffer in silence perhaps without even truly realizing it himself.

I guess the gist of what I'm saying is, Lincoln is in deep water, all of this has been a long time coming, and if nobody does anything about it soon... (Metaphorically-speaking of course-) that boy is going to drown.

[neurodiversebones]

it's the five year anniversary of my best friend's death and i'm coping via thoughts about brennan and grief.

sixteen year old brennan in foster care, facing the world alone and being so angry at everyone she's lost that she can't even feel the sadness anymore. furious at her parents for not protecting her. furious with russ for lying to her when he said he wouldn't let her go into foster care. furious at the whole world that she just doesn't seem to fit within.

brennan in her early twenties, graduating with yet another degree, and just feeling empty when she sees all her classmates parents hugging them and bringing them flowers. going home to an empty apartment to stare at the ceiling because it doesn't matter how incredible she is, it's not gonna bring anyone back to be proud of her.

brennan at 28 after finding her mothers remains. radio silence from her as she sits in her apartment trying to piece together everything she thought she knew about her life. staring in the mirror trying to figure out what parts of her are her mother, what parts are her father, what parts are real and what parts were lies. breaking the mirror in a rare moment where she just lets herself feel so angry at what the world has done to her.

brennan looking at baby christine and just crying. because part of her knows she would do anything to protect this perfect being, but the other part can't comprehend how anyone could leave someome they love so much. being so afraid that she won't know how to be a mother, crying and wishing she could just ask her mom for help.

brennan, burying her father, being orphaned for a second time over. despite knowing that she is so surrounded by love, feeling like the two people who loved her most in this world have abandoned her again. wondering what she ever did to deserve this.

brennan, trying to tell stories of her childhood to her children, but having to work through the haze and fog in her brain around every good memory she's ever had. realizing that every wall she put up is still standing strong, being so afraid that she'll make her children the same way.

brennan, refusing to get close to her interns for years after what happened with zack. no matter how intelligent, hard working, and truly brilliant they are, always having this feeling that something is going to go wrong and they will be gone just like him. finally letting her guard down and letting herself care, only for vincent to bleed out in her arms.

brennan, feeling a pit in her stomach every time she walks past vincent's plaque, the memories of his smile and the scent of his blood twisting together in her mind. the gnawing guilt that the best things in her life came to be the night he died.

brennan, who takes every change like its the end. who feels the changing seasons, her birthday, her friends new phases of life like everything is about to come crashing down. who looks around corners like a scared animal in case someone is coming to take another person away from her.

brennan, who feels like nothing but a vessel for grief some days. who, in a rare moment of self awareness, wonders how much more her body and brain can take. who feels more like a graveyard than a human more days than not. who spent most of her life feeling like a ghost.

[retro-wallflower]

I don't think I've ever felt so let down by an ending. Not even the final scenes of them all sacrificing themselves to restore the timelines (actually love that idea - esp them turning into marigold at the end).

BUT wtf happened to all the characters? I feel like we didn't get any real arcs for them that made any sense. I kept thinking Luther was gonna go thro a bit of a grief arc for sloane with all his sad looks at Diegos family but NOTHING. I liked him and Diego together this season and they did touch on how Luthers position helped Diego appreciate his family but there was def something missing.

Diegos main plot at the end was being cheated on?? And that somehow allowing him to finally 'see' his wife?? Klaus spending way too much time trapped in a coffin and being rescued. His sobreity had basically no ending. If they were going for realism with him falling off the wagon i guess?? But it was never addressed. His only plotline of substance this season was his relationship with Alison.

Don't get me started on five and lila just..... why why why would they do that.

I did like Viktor's arc with good ol' Reggie, finally standing up and saying screw you that was a great scene. And the comment on Vik being part of the team now it's a nice call back to s1 and how far they've come.

Like there were still some of the classic fun tua scenes but not many, so many loose ends, unsatisfying endings for all our main guys. I think the 6 episodes really bit them in the ass and we didn't get enough time for this seasons plot plus all the characters.

For me if you've gotta choose between ending with twists and turns in your plot or giving satisfying and earned arcs that are true to the characters, it's characters every day of the week. I just think they went in the other direction.

Idk if what they went for with the ending just isn't my thing, but even so I think they missed the mark.