#good evening friends of mine I am so incredibly on my bullshit tonight

[toushindai]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sonia & the Ancient Sage of Lightning Characters: Ancient Sage of Lightning (Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom), Sonia (Legend of Zelda) Additional Tags: Fictional politics, Political Coercion, the personal vs the political Summary:

The Gerudo ambassador to Hyrule is haunted by a request Rauru has made of her following Ganondorf's arrest. Sonia comes to check up on her.

[emerald-chaos]

Touchdown

*gif not mine, credit goes to the owner*

I just want to take a moment to say thank you for the love on my last fic! It made my lil ole heart swell to see that peopled enjoyed it enough to leave a like or reblog.

This is just something special I had in my arsenal that I wrote for a friend a few months ago. I touched it up a bit and added a few things here and there. It all started when we were talking about how much we loved when Chris' accent got heavier after he'd been drinking, and well, I couldn't help myself lol. I hope you enjoy the fluff! xoxo

I apologize for any grammatical errors, I tried to proof-read but am also a little exhausted lol.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 2844

Warnings: I don't think there's anyway? Mentions of being drunk/drinking alcohol, cursing, and illusions to sexy times, but that's about it.

You hadn’t noticed how furiously your knee was bouncing up and down until the person sitting next to you on the subway got up to move seats once the train squealed to a stop. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your thighs. Normally being a little late didn’t bother you as much, but tonight you were meeting him.

You flipped your wrist over to check your watch. 8:30pm. In all honesty, it had probably been only thirty seconds later than when you checked it the last time. Another deep sigh escaped from your lips as you started to become hyper aware of the train remaining still at the current stop. What could possibly be taking so long? You knew he wouldn’t care if you were running late, but the time the two of you had together already felt so minuscule. You wanted to capitalize on every second you could.

The train began moving again and you slumped back into your seat, feeling only a small amount of relief. It was becoming painfully apparent that you needed to try and relax. You could feel the sweat building up on your body, the sting on your palms from where your fingernails were pressing in with a vengeance moments ago, and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears. Your hand dug around in your purse for a few moments before finding the small case you were looking for. Opening it, you slipped your headphones into your ears and let your head rest on the window behind you as music intertwined with your thoughts.

Once upon a time, you made fun of people who decided to go to grad school. What kind of a clown would spend thousands of MORE dollars and go BACK to school?? Not to mention the stress of the assignments, the due dates - it was not for you...or so you thought.

Now here you are, a regular booboo the fool.

NYU’s graduate program for design and merchandising wasn’t necessarily part of your 5-year plan, but when the opportunity landed in front of you it was difficult to pass up. NYU was a school you had only dreamt of attending back in high school. When you were a senior in high school you were able to tour the campus and fell in love immediately. Hours upon hours were spent researching grants, scholarships, and all sorts of ways to try to make it happen. However, the dream ended as most teenage dreams do - crushed. There was no way you or your parents could afford the loans that it would surely wrack up to attend the out of state university, and there was no way you could ask your parents take on that kind of debt just so you could go to college. UMass was the way to go - close to home and familiar. Not to mention you were able to obtain several scholarships and grants that helped bring down the cost tremendously. Little did you know, boring ole UMass would bring you one of the most important things in your life.

Applying for graduate school wasn’t an easy decision and one you couldn’t really take all the credit for. A smile crept across your face as you reminisced on the night you nervously brought up the idea to your long-term boyfriend.

“I think you should do it,”

“I know, right?” you scoffed, “it’s insane, why would I do something so stup...wait, what? You do?”

“Of course I do. This is something you love and that you’re passionate about. Do you know how many hours of my life were spent listening to you ramble about NYU?” he questioned with a grin.

“It will open up so many doors for you. We can make things work,” a chuckle escaped from those beautiful lips as he saw your dumbfounded expression. He wrapped his fingers around your waist and pulled you close, “What? Did you expect me to forbid it? Cmon, baby, what kind of guy do you take me for?”

You didn’t have a lot of wins in your life, but you did have Chris.

When you got accepted, he took off a week from work to drive you 3 and a half hours south to help get you settled and moved into your temporary new home. The two of you ate a disgusting amount of pizza, moved a ridiculous amount of heavy furniture in the middle of a summer heat wave, and enjoyed each other’s company before the long-distance thing would set in. Chris spent that week encouraging you every step of the way, talking you off the ledge when you were convinced you had made the wrong decision, and made sure to help you christen every possible surface of your new place in the most deliciously sinful way.

You bit your lip slightly at the thought and a warm feeling spread across your face. Chris was one of the most incredible people you had met in this world. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, passionate, and god was he sexy. The connection the two of you had was scary at first, but now you just couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.

The robotic voice came over the loud-speaker in the subway car and you were rudely ripped back to reality as it pulled into your stop. You hurriedly scooped up your bag and jogged off the train.

It had been a promise between the two of you when you moved that there would be equal effort when it came to visiting and keeping in contact while having good, open communication. Long distance was hard but the two of you were determined to make it work. FaceTime calls, hours upon hours of texting, and even as far as writing the occasional letter back and forth (because your boyfriend was a hopeless romantic and you loved it so much). This weekend was your turn to come home to visit, and of course your last class had to go longer than anticipated. Fuckin’ Tiffany and her stupid ass questions.

The muscles of your calves burned as you kept up your hurried pace, weaving through the crowds of people gathered on sidewalks outside of various clubs and restaurants. It was a weekend night and the Patriots were playing, which meant the city was more alive than usual. New York was it's own beast, but it was a different type of hustle and bustle. Nights like these made your heart ache for home - the thick Massachusetts accents, the rowdy voices of bar patrons arguing about the game, the hugs shared between family members as they parted after dinner, and the faint smell of nicotine and alcohol that hung in the air.

As the neon sign that hung in the pub window came in to view you felt your heart dip down into your stomach. Last weekend’s visit had to be cancelled due to some stuff coming up with Chris’ work and a surprise assignment for you, so you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in 2 weeks. With a deep breath you swung open the door and scanned the crowd for him. He told you that he would be there promptly at 7:15pm for pregame shenanigans with his friends - which actually translated to how many pitchers of beer could they suck down before kick off.

“Aw, come ON! That is such a bullshit call!”

You heard him before you saw him. Of course. A grin spread across your lips as you shook your head. The thought of leaving to avoid secondhand embarrassment crossed your mind briefly before you picked up your feet and made your way through the crowd toward the sound. A room full of people from New England and you would still recognize that voice anywhere.

Everyone else seemed to fade away as you saw the outline of the tall, dark haired man standing at the bar. The slight freckles that spattered the back of his neck, the Brady jersey that he spent WAY too much money customizing, and the signature backward ball cap were ingrained in your subconscious memory. Not to mention if you didn’t recognize his outline or his voice, you would definitely recognize that ass anywhere.

You loved how passionate he got about sports and the way his Boston accent seemed to get thicker with each beer he consumed. Growing up in the area, you wouldn't think the accent would send a tingle down your spine the way it does, but it was different - it was Chris. Not to mention the sparkle in his eye when he would watch his favorite team or the way he would get in to arguments whenever someone tried to say something negative about them. You loved your big, handsome, over-sized toddler man so damn much.

A light tap on his shoulder made him whip around, his slightly opened mouth from his interrupted conversation curved upwards into a wicked grin as he made the connection of who was finally standing in front of him.

“Hey there, handsome. I don’t see a ring on your finger. You single?” You grinned, feeling your entire body fill with warmth as Chris leaned back and grabbed his chest as he erupted in laughter.

“Nah, nah, nah, unfortunately for you I am taken” he responded as he snaked his arms around your waist, sliding his hands into your back pockets as he pulled you into his figure.

“That is too bad,” you tsk'd, running a finger down his toned bicep, “she’s one lucky girl.”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” he grinned. He leaned down to meet your lips in a kiss. You sighed into it, allowing your body to mold itself so perfectly into his. The taste of beer on his lips and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating - it was home. You immediately allowed him entrance as you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip. Your body felt small in his strong grip and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as he gave your ass a firm squeeze. Normally, this type of bold, public display of affection would make you cringe away but at this point you were lost in Chris that you had absolutely no shame. Each time the two of you embraced had always felt like the first. Your heart still fluttered and your knees still got weak, like you were a 16 year old being kissed for the first time.

In the middle of your reunion moment, however, something happened in the game that made the entire bar erupt in boo’s and curses. Chris lifted his lips from yours to look over his shoulder and inspect what he had missed. You laughed and shook your head as you pushed him back towards his friends and took a seat in the bar stool he had been standing behind initially. His large hands found a natural place on your shoulders. While his eyes remained glued on the TV he began applying a moderate amount of pressure to your neck and shoulders. You didn’t realize how much your body craved that touch, his touch, until you immediately melted back into him.

The bartender slid a beer in front of you with a wink and you mouthed your thanks. You felt a twinge in your heart as you looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the bar. This was a typical weekend night for the two of you whenever you were living together. Football, drinks, pub food, and friends. If it wasn’t this pub it was your living room, just a couple blocks away. You didn’t even mind that it was your first night back and you weren’t alone, spending it immediately wrapped up in your satin sheets. The atmosphere, the people - it was so warm and familiar that you really wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Plus, being wrapped up together in the sheets was sure to follow.

“I missed you,” hummed a pair of lips as they placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your neck. You reached up a hand and connected it to the nape of his neck.

“I missed you too,” you replied, turning your head to plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

His arms changed position as he wrapped them in front of your shoulders and crossed them, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed his forearms as you nursed your beer and placed your focus onto the game for the first time tonight.

The laughter seemed to escape from your chest naturally and effortlessly the entire night, as it always had a habit of doing when Chris was around. The camaraderie between him and his buddies during a game was something you’d grown to enjoy over the years. Chris’ competitive nature and the way his jaw clenched when something wasn’t going the way he wanted was always kinda...hot. All of his friends were huge assholes, but in the best way. It was always entertaining to hear them jab at each other and do what they could to rile someone up. They were the life of every party you had ever attended and they had a way of making a boring night a lot more interesting.

Thankfully (for the integrity of the bar) the Pats won the game with a surprise touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game. Chris, being the guy he is, bought a final round for his friends and a nearby group they had been going back and forth with all night. You couldn’t help but laugh as he drunkenly leaned across the counter and slurred his order to the bartender.

“I need a round for m’friends and for these assholes over here who thought Tom Brady was anything but a winner!” the group started yelling in protest and he simply waved them off and started sliding beers down the bar.

The group eventually moved to a bigger round top so everyone could shoot the shit and banter about the outcome of the game. You were tucked into Chris’ side, hands intertwined as he was passionately discussing the importance of Brady’s legacy with a stranger who made the mistake of stopping to talk to him. Your eyes followed the motion of your thumb as it traced small circles onto the back of his. Your other hand under your chin, holding up the weight of your head as your exhaustion started to catch up with you. Chris, although slightly drunk, picked up on your body language and raised your hand to his lips for a kiss.

“Alright, fellas,” he said as he stood up from his seat, pulling you up with him, “the lady and I are gonna call it a night. See you boys next weekend”.

“Chris, we don’t have to go,” you began to protest as he tucked his jacket around your shoulders.

“Mm, ‘course we do,” he replied with a soft smile, “you’re so tired, baby. I can see it in those beautiful eyes”.

You could feel your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you rolled your eyes at his attempt at laying it on thick. After what felt like a proper 10 minute goodbye session, the group said their final goodbyes, hugs included, and you walked out of the pub hand in hand.

The walk home was filled with the sounds of cars passing by and conversation of what each other had missed in the week prior. Small talk typically felt like such a chore, but with Chris every conversation came naturally. Even when he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about, he would listen intently and ask all the questions as if it was the most interesting conversation in the world.

The lock on the apartment door clicked as you pushed it open and entered. You smiled as you stopped into the middle of the living room, taking in the home you missed so dearly. A soft tapping of toenails against the hardwood made your heart soar as you met the eyes of your sweet pup, Dodger. A squeal left your lips as you squatted down to give love to the sweet boy. Chris always made fun of you when you came home, saying that you always seemed to miss Dodger more than you did him and I mean, he wasn’t entirely wrong about that statement.

Once again lost in your own world, you didn’t even notice Chris leaned up against the wall watching you with a smile.

“Oh my god,” you gushed, standing up, “do you like...like me or something?”

Chris grinned as he crossed the room and caught your belt loop with his finger, pulling you into him slowly.

“Yeah,” his voice had dropped down an octave, “you could say that”.

“Mm,” your tongue swiped across your lower lip and you wrapped your arms around his neck, “care to show me how much?”

The look in his eyes made your core burn. The tension building between you two became too much to handle as you crashed your lips into his. The kisses were messy and you could feel the sense of urgency between you two. His beard scratched against the column of your throat with a delicious burn as he left wet kisses across your jaw and down the side of your neck. Chris’ hands found their way back into the ass pockets of your jeans as he started walking you back towards the direction of the bedroom.

Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and you felt very sorry for your neighbors. It had been a long time, but Chris always had a way of welcoming you home.

[caitdjarin]

happier

Bucky Barnes x Reader

- Part two to ‘traitor’.

Warnings

Angst, Jealousy, Language, Mentions of Sex, Bucky being toxic and possessive, Arguments, Yelling, Australian/English spellings

gif is not mine

Yours and Bucky’s “friendship” literally just consisted of arguments and him apologising. A small list of reasons why he was mad at you and argued with you were

- You created a tinder account, which he had found

- You went out on a date

- You fucked someone

- You fucked someone else

It was mainly him being jealous and it royally pissed you off, you tried to talk to him or get anyone to talk to him about it, but he would not listen. It was like he thought he had some claim on you because you agreed to be civil with him and possibly start a friendship again, like before you were dating.

You had been doing particularly well with Bucky for a while, it was pleasant. Bucky had stopped his bullshit for a couple of months now and you felt like you were on the path to a friendship with him. Without all the arguing. That’s when you decided to sign up to sing at a local bar that you all went to regularly. You felt as if Bucky would be mature enough to listen. As you were about to invite him, he started an argument again, you started to think he was doing it on purpose. When you were together, every argument ended in unbelievable make-up sex. This time, he was mad that he saw someone walking out of your apartment.

“James, stop.” You yelled. “You’re acting like a fucking child. I am single, I am allowed to do whatever the fuck I want, and I will do whatever the fuck I want. You know that we will not be together again, stop causing these arguments trying to make something happen because it will not.”

He, of course, walks off.

You don’t tell Bucky about the bar. He won’t handle it well, but you invite Nat, Wanda, Steve and Vis.

-

Starting the song was probably the hardest part, pouring your feelings into the world and letting your friend know how you actually felt during.

“And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me? And now I'm pickin' her apart Like cuttin' her down make you miss my wretched heart But she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies” Finishing the verse, you look out towards Nat and Wanda, where they’re smiling back at you, giving you the courage to finish.

“I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, I wish you all the best, really Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on her I hope you're happy, but don't be happier”

Concluding the song, you look out in the crowd again, this time finding a familiar face, with bright blue eyes. You felt your face drop. Walking off the stage, you find yourself moving towards him.

“Bucky, you’re here”

“Yeah, Steve let it slip that this was happening, wanted to support you.” He replies, walking out of the venue.

You walk back into the venue and find Nat, Wanda, Steve and Vis.

“You did incredible, I am so proud of you for putting yourself out there.” Nat speaks loudly, trying to make sure you hear over the music. Wanda hugs you quickly before telling you she’s proud of you as well. Vis and Steve just smile at you, unsure of how to proceed when they literally just heard a song that was clearly directed at their friend. You all walk out of the venue.

“Why did you tell him, Steve?” You say softly.

“He asked me what I was doing tonight, and when I told him where I was going, he started questioning me a lot, so I just let it slip. I am sorry, I should’ve told him not to come.” He answers truthfully.

“It’s okay, I guess he was going to find out anyway.”

Bucky always thought you had an incredible voice, mainly hearing it while you were cleaning the apartment you once shared. Hearing it again made his heart melt. Until he registered the lyrics. Knowing how you truly felt about the breakup and how he handled things was like a punch to the gut. He was hoping that him causing arguments would bring out the sexual tension and then he’d be able to get you back but as he heard your voice cracking as you sung, he knew that he had lost the one thing in his life that made him the happiest he’s ever been.

Finding out your new co-worker was your ex-fiancé, was very weird. You had just started a new job as a professor at a small university. Rafael was always polite; you were in the same department, so it was a bit difficult to avoid him anyway. One day, you noticed a small band on his ring ringer.

“So you got married?”

“Yeah” he smiled, “Peter and I did over the weekend.”

“I am so happy for you, Raf, I know you wanted this for a long time”

“I am really sorry about how it all happened, I know I treated you badly and I should have- “

“You didn’t have to do anything, Raf, you weren’t ready to come out. It might’ve hurt a little, but you deserve to not hide who you are and be with someone who is the complete opposite of who you are attracted to.” You say, cutting him off.

“How are do you always see the best in people, even when they fuck you over?” He questions.

“Because I’ve seen the good and you can’t be defined by your mistakes. I have to go now though, Congratulations again.” You say, walking out of the shared office.

You had to talk to Bucky, clear the air, make sure everything was okay. First stopping by your apartment to drop off some papers and your laptop.

You found Bucky sitting at the steps, waiting for you, you assume.

“Hey, do you want to come up?” You say as he looks up at you. He follows you up. Opening your door, you lean against it to let him in, he walks in taking in your home for the first time.

“It’s definitely you.” He smiles.

“I spend a lot of time here, have to make it nice and comfortable.”

“I am so proud of you; I hope you know that. Your voice was incredible.”

“Thank you, Bucky, I really appreciate that.”

“Why didn’t you invite me?” He asks, sadly. You sigh.

“I was going to, then you started that stupid argument and it made me feel like I shouldn’t. I am glad that you came anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I just wanted you back and didn’t know how to get that across without arguing.”

“Bucky- “You start. He says your name cutting you off.

“I know now that it will not happen, and I am okay with that, I just want you in my life still.” He states. “You were right in that song by the way. She made me happy temporarily, but nobody will ever make me as happy as I was when I was with you.”

“I will always love you, Buck, I always have, and I think I always will. But us breaking up brought up some real problems in our relationship for me that I think I just overlooked because I was so in love with you.”

“I will always love you too.” You watch as a single tear comes out of his beautiful blue eye. You hug him, wrapping your arms around his waist and laying your head on his chest. He pulls you in closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head. You stay there for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Once he leaves, you dig through your wardrobe. You find all your books with your notes in them.

Going through all your papers with your songs on them and all your little thoughts you had written down throughout your breakup and as you were moving on, felt nostalgic. Remembering how you had felt about Bucky, how your emotions were so strong and how you would scrub your skin lighter, fearful that you might speed up the process of your body renewing and creating something that hadn’t been touched by him. You decide to burn them all. You want to remember the good in your relationship moving forward. You would forever love James Buchanan Barnes, but you loved yourself more.

He may not have been my soulmate but he’s the man I am going to tell my children about when they ask what love feels like.

[thiswasinevitableid]

57 sternclay nsfw? i can see stern complaining to a stranger that his ex complained about how weird his kinks were while dumping him

Here you go! 57: “we’re fighting over the last box of half-off valentine’s day chocolate and end up in a “who has it worse” battle.

For being in a mountain town in the slow season, the seasonal candy shelves of the Kepler Walgreens are bare. Were it 10 am on Valentines Day, Joseph would be in a panic. At 10 p.m, it feels like yet more proof this trip is utterly doomed.

But he didn’t become one of the top agents in the Department of Unexplained Phenomena by being unobservant. On the top shelf, pushed towards the back, is a bag of Reese's hearts and a bag of M&Ms. Thank you, years of training.

Being six feet tall helps too.

He’s so locked onto his target that he doesn’t notice the other person in the store until their hands smack into each other en route to the bags.

“Sorry, uh, lemme just get these and I’ll get out of your way.” A voice as deep and sweet as summer honey reaches his ears.

“I’m sorry, but I was going to buy these.” He starts pulling the bags towards him, only for the other guy to grab them. Joseph glares; the man trying to relieve him of his last solace looks like the kind of lumberjack you see in recordings titled things, “Log Pounders IV” or “Bear Hunting.”

“Look, buddy, I really need these so can you, like, find some other bags?”

“These are the last two. And I guarantee I need them more.” As long as he keeps a pleasant voice and gives no ground, this should go smoothly.

“Unless you got dumped this month, I don’t think you do.”

“I got dumped seven hours ago.” He says through an increasingly tight-lipped smile.

“At least your ex isn’t tagging you in a bunch of photos bragging about his new boyfriend.”

“He can’t, because he probably only just got back to his apartment in the rental car. The one I’m now stranded here without.”

“Pfft, just call an Uber or something.”

“It’ll cost several hundred dollars to get home!”

“You look like you can afford it.” Brown eyes flick from his hair down to his shoes, “some of us have to use half-price candy to soothe our wounds. You’re probably staying at the kind of fancy B&B where they have complimentary booze.”

“I would be, except their was a fuck-up with the reservation. Which my ex took as proof this was time to end things, and is the reason I’m dragging this all over town.” He kicks his ergonomically designed, rolling suitcase hard enough that it bumps into his adversary.

“Better he gave you some bullshit reason than the truth, which mine was all too happy to tell me. You can have these when someone you tried to make happy tells you he thinks you’re ‘too soft’ and that if only you’d manned up he woulda stayed, whatever the fuck that even means.”

Goddamnit, Joseph is not about to lose this argument--and his candy--on top of everything else.

“I’ll trade you that for being told you’re: too exacting, far more uncool than your job implies, too anxious, too invested in your work, that your whole personality is flawed and, just for extra fun, that your kinks are too weird and no one in their right mind would ever want to sleep with you if they knew them ahead of time.”

The other man’s hold on the bags loosens. Then it returns, stronger than before, as he grumbles, “Please, no one’s kinks are that weird.”

“You have no idea what mine are.”

“Then how about you give me a demonstration, huh?” Lumberjack snaps.

Joseph's common sense finally catches up with his thirst for comfort and, apparently, conflict.

“I, I’m sorry, did you just offer to fuck me in the middle of a fight over discount candy?”

“I....” the man lets go of the bags, chuckles, “yeah, I did. Fuck, I’m sorry, it’s been such a shitty day that my mouth decided it was gonna do whatever it took to stay in that fight.”

Joseph laughs a little, slumping against the shelf, “I guess it’s nice to know I’m not the only person in town whose Valentine’s Day didn’t go to plan.”

“No kidding. Though, uh, I didn’t get dumped this month. It was three months ago. He did tag me in all those photos today though.”

“That’s so rude.”

“Not as rude as leaving your boyfriend stranded in the mountains.”

B-grade pop hits fill the awkward silence between them.

“I, uh, this might be way outta line, but I got an idea; if you buy the candy, I can take us back to my place and bake something with it. That way we can both enjoy it, and you won’t be stuck wandering around in the cold.”

He runs a quick is-this-a-serial-killer scan of the man in front of him.

“Sure. But just so you know, I’m opening the Reeses in the car.”

-----------------------------------------------------

“Feeling better?” Barclay, his host, wipes stray cupcake crumbs from his lips.

“Much.” He polishes off his second coffee-cocoa cupcake with M&Ms in the batter, lifts his coffee cup, “this place is lucky to have you.”

Barclay blushes the same way he has every time Joseph compliments his cooking, home, or taste in books. They’ve spent the last ninety minutes in the kitchen of Barclay’s small, A-Frame cabin, one of eight laid out in a half circle behind Amnesty Lodge. The cook explained that the cabins were for staff or long term residents, and that while the Lodge sometimes had vacancies, this week had seen them swamped.

The rain alternates between pleasant pitter-pats and drops that could kill a small bird, so Joseph is incredibly grateful to Barclay for giving him a place to shelter. When he thanks him, the cook shrugs with a little smile, “you shouldn’t leave nice things out in the rain.”

As they’re cleaning up the dishes, Barclay passes him a plate and says, “You can stay here tonight. If, uh, if you want. The couch isn’t much, but it’s dry and I’ve got a bunch of spare blankets.”

“That’d be great, thank you. And, um, thank you for being so nice to me, given how we met.”

“Eh, no one who’s in a Walgreens after ten is in a good mood. And, uh, it’s nice to have someone to talk with. I’m kinda the quiet one of my friends, and work is mostly calling orders and stuff.” He pulls the coffee pot from the heat, “can I top you off?”

“Yes, please.” His caffeine tolerance is so high a few cups late at night doesn’t mess with his sleep. Barclay is sticking with tea, something scented like cardamon and comfort.

They move to the couch that’s clearly been re-covered a dozen times, Barclay only getting up to turn on some music; delta blues, if Joseph’s ear is right. It’s not until the clock strikes one thirty that Joseph notices they’re sitting so close that their knees bump whenever one of them turns to talk.

“Okay, I gotta ask” Barclay’s brown eyes shine sweet and playful, “what exactly was so weird about your kinks that your dickhead ex went out of his way to mention them?”

He thinks a moment, scanning his body and noticing he’s more relaxed than he’s been in weeks, including all the times he spent with his ex. Something about the faint scent of dish-soap on Barclays hands, the gentle smile that makes Joseph certain that--for all his bulk--if Joseph told him to roll over and show his belly, he’d do it in an instant, the way he doesn’t rolls his eyes or shy away when Joseph talks, all of that makes him calm. Which makes him bold.

“Wait right here.” He hops up, grabs his bag from the door and pulls it over to the rug by the couch. All he has to do to reveal his secret is lift his pajamas.

“Holy fuck.” Barclay leans forward, “you really came prepared.”

“It was supposed to be a romantic getaway. I...we’d never used any of this together, but I hoped we might this time. It’s, it’s not his fault, I know my tastes aren’t for everyone, and we had plenty in common in bed. But he went through this whole thing where he said we should share our deepest fantasies. Apparently wanting to be choked is fine, but wanting to fuck Mothman is not.”

“That’s what this one is.” Barclay picks up one of the two dildos, black with lots of swirling ridges.

“That’s actually my dragon one. Um.” he holds up the ovipositor toy, “this one is supposed to be mothman.”

Barclay squishes one of the silicone eggs, “that feels kinda nice. What else did you bring?”

His genuine interest is not helping Joseph keep his hopes under control.

“The other toy is the ‘bigfoot’ model. And this is, um, this is my newest one, I was so excited I pre-ordered it. It acts like a cock-sleeve, but this part here is supposed to mimic a, um, a knot.”

“Like the idea of getting knotted, babe?” The cook’s voice is a little deeper than when he last spoke, and rather than pulling away he’s inching into Joseph’s space.

“Yes. I, um, I’m getting the sense” he shifts so his hands are on Barclay’s knees, “that we might have something in common besides our taste in leftover candy.”

“I packed all this so carefully” he brushes their lips together, “it’d be a shame to let it sit unused.”

Barclay scoops him into a kiss, growling happily when Joseph instantly parts his lips. His beard is soft and tickly under Joseph’s palms, and his mind takes the thought of getting beard-burn on his thighs and runs so far with it that he almost misses what Barclay says next.

“In that case, you better decide if you want me to open your ass up so I can fuck you with a knot, or if you wanna do it yourself.”

“I prefer to do it myself.”

A second kiss, a bit gentler this time, “bedroom’s at the end of the hall. Get naked and wait for me there?”

“Roger that, big guy.”

When Barclay growls this time it’s rougher, jumping out of his chest and seeming to surprise him.

Joseph undresses as Barclay stops off in the bathroom, rifling through the medicine cabinet while Joseph folds his clothes. He’s down to his boxers when he remembers there is a conversation he needed to have before it hit this point.

“You trying to get me to rip those off with my teeth?” Barclay grins as he sets some condoms and lube on the bed and starts taking off his pants.

“I, um, there’s something you should be aware of. We don’t have the same, um, set-up.”

Barclay furrows his brow, gets his meaning, then nods, “no problem. If you’re okay with that part of you being involved I, uh, I just got a really, really good idea for what to do.”

“It’s not always the case, but tonight I definitely want it involved. I want you inside me as many ways as possible.”

“Fuck yeah.” Barclay tosses his shirt into the laundry, “get your ass open enough to take that knot.”

He slips the condom on, douses it with lube, and presses the first finger in, discovering that he's unable to stop complimenting Barclay for even five seconds while he finishes disrobing. The flush under his dark chest hair is unendingly charming, as is the little whine he makes at Joseph telling him he likes how big he is.

“I, I’m serious, ahhn, it’s rare to find someone taller than me and I really like it.”

“Feeds into the monster thing?” Barclay crawls beside him, laying down so he can kiss him as he works the second finger in.

“In a way.”

A deep, rumbly chuckle that has Joseph fucking himself hurriedly, “Don’t be coy, babe. You like the thought of something big and hairy getting a hold of you and not letting you go until you’re dripping cum.”

“Holy shit, yes” he gets the third finger in, sighing as Barclay nuzzles his neck.

“Well, I’m not bigfoot, but I’m betting I’ll do just fine.”

“More than fine.” Joseph kisses him, feels him smile in a way that melts his heart like cheap chocolate.

“Got some other theories about you, babe, but you gotta wait until you’re on my dick to hear ‘em.” Barclay sits up, stroking his cock in time with Joseph’s hand, “fucking-A, can’t believe your ex didn’t wanna stick around for this. You look like a fucking porn star; we oughta record you getting fucked in your suit and sell if for big bucks.”

He moans, pulling his fingers free, “Fuck me now. Please.”

“Fuck that’s hot.” Barclay works the sleeve down over his cock, sits up against the wall, “come sit in my lap, facing away.”

Joseph straddles him, gasps when the head of his cock presses in. He prepped well, but all the same he has to take his time wiggling his way down. Barclay caresses him, grunting and whimpering whenever he moves, breath prickling the hairs at the base of his neck. It’s heavenly.

When he hits the knot, Barclay rubs more lube on it, but it stays outside of him as he grinds on it. Between moans, the cook manages to say, “want me to start the next part?”

“Yes, please.”

Barclay loads the ovipositor with the three eggs, praises Joseph for being a good boy when he spreads his legs to accommodate the head of the toy.

“I, I thought you had more you were going to tell me?” He tilts his head awkwardly to kiss Barclay’s shoulder.

“Uh huh.” Barclay slowly works the toy in and out, doing his best to sync it to the rolls of his hips, “I think you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t just want one monster; you want ‘em all.”

“Variety is, ohgod, part of a healthy sex life.”

“I don’t mean one monster on one day and a different one on another. I think you want them all at once.”

“Oh yes, oh! Ohohoh” he kicks his legs as the first egg pushes in, “fuck, Barclay, please keep going.”

“Whatever you want, babe.” He nuzzles Joseph’s hair, “that’s how I came up with this plan; seeing all those different dicks made me think you’d, fuck, you’d like me to pretend there was more than just me fucking you.”

Joseph nods, clinging to Barclays arm and bearing down on the knot.

“Can just see it now; you got yourself lost in the woods out here, go looking for help only to find a whole bunch of monsters waiting for you. Spend the rest of the night pressed into the dirt and leaves while every cryptid from, fuck” he bucks his hips, “from here to Canada had their turn.”

“Shit, shit” the knot starts pushing in, “y-you’ve got my number, big guy.”

“Yeah?” Barclay squeezes the base of the toy as he talks, causing the remaining two eggs to push their way in, Joseph’s body clenching around them, “you want a night where all your good for is being fucked, where if you beg for a break you get a bigfoot fucking your throat and werewolves cumming on your chest instead of them all mobbing you at once?”

“Shit, yes, YESohfuck” the knot enters him as Barclay shoves his hips down, “ohmygod that’s good, fuck, I feel so full, you’re so smart, this was genius, fuck you know how to treat meAHannnfuck, shit.” He holds on to Barclays arm’s as the other man fucks him with abandon.

“Oh I know, babe. Know I was fucking right. You wanna be claimed, wanna be owned, wanna be bred by a whole fuckin pack-”

“Jesuschrist” it’s hard to breathe at the pace Barclay sets, his body aching to cum but not quite able to get there. He squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing frantically at his dick as Barclay loses himself in the fantasy.

“You’d be so cute, leaves in your hair and cum on your chin, taking it all and begging for more. Good thing you’re so needy, you could tear a pack apart with folks fighting over who gets to fuck you, fuck, Joseph, baby, you’re so fucking good, gonna be so fucking good to you, fuck, fuck” he shoves as deep as he can while he cums, and in the haze of pleasure Joseph swears claws prick the skin of his chest. Just the thought of that sends his own orgasm coursing through him, his body tensing and twisting on Barclay’s cock, making them both moan from sudden overstimulation.

“S-sorry” Barclay pants.

“Nothing to apologize for, just physiology, here, let me ow, ow, okay maybe I should have relaxed more first.” He’s free of both toys, but that was right on the edge of too painful. He waits for Barclay to take off the sleeve, then rolls the bigger man so his head is on his chest.

“Your ex didn’t know how good they had it.”

“Thanks, babe.”

He smiles, “I like that. No one ever calls me something that informal.”

“Call you it whenever you want. Babe.” Barclay kisses his arm, “you can, uh, stay in bed if you want. We don’t have a ton of time together so I’d, uh, well, I’d like to spend as much of it with you as I can.”

For the first time, Joseph wishes his vacation would last longer.

“Agreed, big guy.”

--------------------------------------------------

“You said you had my new assignment, sir?”

“Yes. Agent Stern, you will be going to the town of Kepler to investigate the events described in this file.” Agent Hayes passses him the folder.

“Understood, sir.”

Joseph manages to keep his smile to himself all the way to his desk.

[peterpan-ouat-imagines]

I love you, I hate you- Part 2

Felix telling me that Pan is seeing another girl puts a million thoughts in my head. Does he like her? Why does he feel the need to see and be with her when I’m here? Am I not pretty enough? Or good enough in general? I get worried not knowing what this means. But I don’t get why this is being shared with me either.

“Why are you telling me this? Pan trusts you, he would be livid if he knew you were telling me that kind of information,” I ask not thinking his head is clear.

“I am telling you this because I care about what happens,” he answers. Why does he have to be so freaking vague about everything? ‘What happens’ could mean anything! Ugh.

I try to pry him for more information but he doesn’t budge anymore. Breakfast comes to an end and we all clean up. I go to the medical hut to change my bandages. When I unwrap it, mine now looks terrible. It’s red and goopy and there’s some black cracks up my arm too which is abnormal unless it’s poisoned but we don’t use dreamshade to hunt so it isn’t that concerning. I go to find rubbing alcohol to try and disinfect it but there’s none. I wipe it up some so it’s less messy and put on fresh bandages this time wrapping it tighter than before because I’m still distracted by who this Wendy is and the amount of pressure I use shows that. It pinched my skin so much it hurts.

After it’s taped down I go outside and Felix tells us that we are going to practice sparring and tells us to partner up. I grab a stick and go to my friend Joe and we start doing it. We start fighting just as we normally would. He takes things up a level by going for my legs which obviously I jump for. I do the same and swing my stick at some of his weak spots and he reacts falling a couple times but good overall.

“Joe, go to Lee, I would like to practice with y/n,” Pan says in a business like tone. He nods and goes to the end.

“Pan!” I beam, “I missed you so much!” I exclaim and hug him. I then have the after thought of how he was with someone else and let go and step back quicker than I normally would.

“I missed you too,” he kisses me, “I’m sorry I left without saying anything,” he tells me.

“It’s fine,” I tell him not asking where he went. After a small awkward silence I talk again, “How was it?” I ask wanting to know if being with that other girl was horrible or not.

“It went fantastic. Who I saw was very interesting and I definitely will be going on a trip to see them again soon,” my heart drops when he says that. He likes her, I’m no longer the only girl in his life. Where will I go now? Neverland is for those who are lost and unloved but I feel incredibly more lost and unloved right now than I ever did back home.

We start to spar but I’m too distracted by what he told me to focus on fighting. Within the first 10 seconds he knocks the stick out of my hands.

He looks at me weird, “What’s gotten into you? You were fighting just fine moments ago,” he asks me.

“Just the excitement of having you back,” I lie with a fake half smile. I don’t care if I’m overreacting I feel like I belong on that floor for not being good enough for him.

I fight with him the rest of the time trying to keep my mind focused but it works less than I would hope for it to.

After the morning session he leans in and whispers, “now how about we spend the day doing some stuff to help you relax. You look as if you need it,” as he trails his fingers up and down my back.

I step away uncomfortable doing anything of the sort with my current knowledge, “That’s a nice offer but I’m okay. I had some plans today,” I tell him, “With Lee,” I add on wondering if some jealousy will get him back to wanting me and forgetting about that slut.

He looks confused but not jealous of any sort, “Alright then,” he tells me and then goes his own way.

I stand there lost wondering if he’s being a stupid boy not taking a hint or if he really doesn’t care. Either way I might as well give him attention and maybe flirt a little in front of Pan with him to try to get what I want.

I sit with him at camp all day being real close having Pan glance over at us occasionally unphased even when I try to flirt. He doesn’t flirt back which I didn’t expect because I thought I’ve seen enough signs for him to be into this. After a good couple hours of it I give up and go for a walk alone. I stumble upon Felix again and we get to talking.

“Pan had the best time with her, he plans on going back! I flirted with Lee all day and he didn’t say or do anything!” I tell him.

“Why do you think I care? Isn’t that what your mermaid friends are for? Anyway if you want my advice, do it with someone intimidating not Lee,” he shares.

“My relationship is over,” I state even though Pan hasn’t said it I know inside.

As the day comes to an end people are playing dumb stuff around a fire. I join in and drink. They seem to be playing truth or dare. I just want to forget about Wendy and how Pan left for the night again and get really drunk knowing something bad will happen.

“Y/n, truth or dare?” I’m asked.

“Truth,” I answer.

“Tell everyone what you think of Pan keeping on leaving for the girl in London,” the guy asks.

“Everyone knows about that?” I ask embarrassed. They nod saying they are surprised I found out. Having the alcohol hit me and soon to be regretful words, I pour out everything, “Well I’m pissed as fuck! I’m his girlfriend he should only want me! If he does whatever he wants what’s stopping me from sleeping with one of you? He wouldn’t care!” I see I sparked some of the lost boys interest when I said that as they lean in, “I just want him to want only me not that slut that is in a different realm!” I huff mad.

We play more rounds and I finally choose dare, “I dare you to makeout with me,” Sam sitting next to me says scooting closer, definitely thinking of the slutty comment I said earlier. Feeling so vulnerable and unloved I get ready to lean in to do it. Before I can move my head Felix comes and takes me away to Pan’s cave.

“What was that for? I was going to!-“ I begin lazy.

“I don’t care what you were going to do! I have a job and that’s to keep you safe while Pan is away! And that includes not fucking any lost boys out of anger!”

I turn away from him angry once he goes I feel my injured arm have this horrible pain that’s unlike anything but I’m too drunk and tired to check on it and I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning with a raging headache and do the regular routine. I hunt with a group of people that’s not Lee for a change. They start talking about what happened last night as we climb in a tree.

“I can’t believe I said all that. Did Sam really try to kiss me?” I ask and they nod and I’m humiliated. I try to spear a boar distracted by something new and miss, it runs off. Rich does it correctly to another one and we carry it back.

I sit next to Felix, “Thanks for having my back last night,” I tell him.

“Just doing my job,” he tells me and sips water.

I sit with him in silence as we both eat.

Felix tells us we will not have a morning practice session and I go back to sleep this hangover off some more.

When I walk in the cheating Peter Pan is standing there.

“Hey,” I tell him holding my head.

“Hey darling how are you?” He asks.

“Exhausted. I got a raging hangover because I was stupid and let the guys rope me into drinking way beyond my normal limits,” I groan.

He comes over and helps me lay down, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” He asks being genuine.

“Just some water is fine,” I say. He goes to get some and I look at my arm and even though it’s oozing some I don’t want to get anyone involved and I put on a jacket to hide it.

He comes back with what I asked telling me to get some rest and to call if I need anything that he will be in the tent he does business in.

I nod and sip the water and watch him as he goes. I lay down for several hours left with all my thought in my head I’ve had the past 24 hours. I can’t lose him though. I have to try to win him so I’m the only one he wants.

I go to his tent and see him standing there looking at pieces of parchment, “What are you looking at?” I ask poking my head behind him.

“I’m making a deal with Hook so he continues doing my dirty work,” he tells me.

“What if we do some dirty work?” I whisper and move my hand down to his crotch area and kiss his neck.

I can tell he’s smirking from the corner of my eye and he turns to me, “I’d love to do some dirty work with you,” he whispers back, “but I must finish this. I will later I promise. I do want to,” he kisses my cheek.

“You aren’t going to London? I mean away again tonight?” I correct myself because he does not know I know everything.

“No. I have more important things here. Like you,” he smiles which makes me smile feeling better about my place.

I leave his tent and go to see the mermaids and tell them everything that’s been happening and ask for there incite.

“You’re reading into it Pan loves you he would never cheat,” Serena tries to assure me.

“I don’t know. Two nights in a row on his “business trip” and if Felix of all people say that it’s true it probably is. He doesn’t bullshit stuff,” Alice tells me sounding sceptic.

They go back and forth defending there reasons leaving me confused.

“I still think Lee likes you. Grabbing you by the waist? And not moving his hands once your in a safe spot? That sounds so sexy!” Alice tells me.

“But that doesn’t explain why he didn’t flirt with me,” I tell them.

“He probably knew Pan was there and got nervous. Isn’t he shy? You might have to get him alone,” Serena suggests.

I think about it realizing that actually could be really true, “Thanks girls this has helped a lot,” I head out and find Lee.

He’s sitting around the camp. Right by the tent Pan is in lucky for me. I go to change my nasty bandages for my horrific arm and come back out, “Hey Lee,” I say right by the nylon outside of Pan, “Do you want to get out of here? For a walk in the woods or beach maybe?” I ask. I put my hand on his arm hoping Pan is looking at our shadows.

“Yeah. He smiles. That sounds nice,” he stands up and we walk into the trees. I look back briefly and see Pan staring at us starting to hide in some bushes not far away with a jealous look and I smirk.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Jily's First Kiss

It was late night at the Castle, almost carefue. The night sky looked peaceful. Very different from Lily's mind.

'How am I going to tell him?' she thought.

"Evans..."

The stupid universe was against her tonight. She didn't want to see him. Oh but she did. She was longing to see him again since morning. But Lily didn't want to hurt him.

"Hey... Evans..." James caught to her touching her arm gently. Lily turned around. He was smiling. It looked so good on him. He was so happy. Lily didn't look so well. James picked up on that, because his smile disappeared.

"Hey, Snitch" he said "Are you okay?"

They were friendly. James called her Snitch as a nickname. Lily didn't know why. But it was James. He had nicknames for all his friends. They were in the best of terms. They were friends. Maybe Lily liked him more than that. They almost kissed the other night. And Lily had been fantasizing about it ever since. And now... Now she was going to hurt him. She knew that.

"I fixed things with Severus" Lily said quietly

James closed his eyes in frustration. They hated each other.

"After what he called you?" James asked

"Yeah" Lily sounded defensive. It was habit. She used to fight a lot with James.

James rubbed his hair and sighed "Well you know him better than I do"

What? Was James Potter saying that?

"I don't like the idea Lily but... " he continued "He just doesn't like who you are. He is a git. But it's your friend, not mine"

Lily felt a funny feeling in her chest. It was warm and intense. Shit.

"Severus had been my friend before you" she continued and for some reason she wanted to cry "Has been there for me. I know he cares about me. He really does..."

James nodded. Even though he looked like he wanted to vomit.

"That's why I have to choose him" Lily felt a tear rolling down her cheek.

James looked up at her "What?"

"Sorry James" Lily cried "Sev doesn't like this friendsh... Whatever this is we have. And he is right. After everything you did to him, everything you put him through"

"I didn't do anything bad! Mainly pranks!..." James protested, then he sighed remembering something "Did he make you chose?"

"I have nothing against you. I'm sorry" Lily sniffed "It's just that I had him first. And we were good friends before..."

"BULLSHIT!" James yelled rubbing his hair in frustration

"You forgave Sirius..."

"It's not the same thing" James spatted "And he doesn't medle into my other friendships. Lily, I thought we were friends" he sounded so hurt in the last part.

Lily simply cried "I am sorry James"

"FUCK!" James yelled, which made Lily jump.

"Why do you have to do everything he says?" James asked "I thought you were different. I thought we were different.... "

Lily didn't answer. She hated having to chose. She didn't want to lose James. And she didn't want to lose Severus. Why did she have to be in the middle?

"Shit!" she finally yelled "You're freaking children who can't just get along!"

"Lily this isn't about this!" James was frustrated and desperate "It's about what you want. Because nobody can tell you what to do or who to get along with! It's about what you want. Don't do things just to please others. If you don't want to be friends with me... That's fine. I understand I used to be a dick to you and others..." Now James had tears in his eyes "But I only accept that if it is your decision and no one else's"

Lily cried even more. Because it was all true. He wasn't thinking about herself. What she wanted.

"Lily, I am going to be honest with you" he said in a calmer voice "These couple of months had been incredible. Being close to. Being your friend, making you laugh... I really like you... And I am trying. I am trying to be better so that you can like me back"

Lily shook her head "It's just a crush, James"

How could someone like James fancy her this much?

"It's not just a crush!" James rubbed his hair again "I really really lo... fancy you. I think about you night and day. I want to see you again. I love watching you smile or laugh. Especially if I am the cause. You are so beautiful. You are perfect for me. And I am such an idiot for trying to get your attention in that way. You probably deserve better... But I can't stop feeling that way. And I want to know if you feel the same..."

Lily was out of breath. She never thought that James felt that way. Lily always thought she was a whim for him. The only girl that had said no.

"Tell me no this time" James continued getting closer "Tell me no and I promise. I would leave you alone"

Lily didn't no what to say. She didn't want things to go back to the way they were before. Because she liked James. Lily really liked him. But she didn't know if she liked him in that way.

"I don't know..." Maybe she could

James sighed "Do you like... Snape?"

Lily simply just shook her head. It might've been a no. Or an 'I don't know'.

James simply nodded feeling really hurt. "Okay, Lily..."

James turned to leave. And Lily got that warm sensation in her chest. She didn't want him to leave. Now. Or from her life ever again. Because James was really important to her now. Lily liked him. Lily really really liked him.

"James...." she yelled desperately. He turned around hopefully.

Lily didn't know what got her to move in that moment. But she did. She close the gap between them, her body and mind were telling her what to do. And grabbed James by his shirt and kissed him. Just by rushing James' lips, Lily knew that she fancied him. So so much. Her heart told her that this was right. It felt right. That made Lily smile through the kiss. James did the same. It felt right.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Tis the Damn Season

Chapter Five- Santa Baby

Hello, I took a couple weeks, because life can be busy, and mine is changing, but here is a little 🎁!

Thanks to @dirtystyles, she’s the real gift!

"What are you wearing?"

"I'm sorry, but what?"

 It was all she could think to say. Emma hadn't heard from Harry in months. In August he had sent her a random picture of him in a collar with long hair. She knew he had chopped his hair months ago, it had caused an internet flurry and was one of the few times he'd emerged from hibernation. She might be miffed that his year-off apparently didn't include visiting her. Not that she had asked him to.

She'd never ask.

Emma might also be incredibly miffed that he had cut off his glorious hair. She'd rocked herself to sleep many a night thinking of the way it felt trailing ver her chest, then stomach, in the crevice of her thigh. The crunch and silk of it between her fingers when she got it between her fingers at the end of that path or when he was rocking her to sleep.

Thinking about his hair usually made her hot for him, and thinking of it gone made her nostalgic, and a little mad. And that was when the memory was fresh and jot months old.

In any case, she wasn't feeling very soft for him, and that was a sexy question. She definitely wasn't feeling wet for him.

She had just walked out of class on a freezing cold day before she was ready for it to be this chilly, and she had to ride her bike. Her class was on individual contribution to global crises. Emma was the first to point out that individuals were not the true climate change culprits, but every bit helped. She just wished she'd ridden one of the clean energy buses today. Today sucked.

"Your teeth are chattering Emma, you outside?" she made an affirmative sound and he wisely knew better than to wait for an answer after that. He'd set up this mood, after all. "Sorry, came out wrong, it was meant to be funny." Harry had an apology in his voice. It was like the first knead of a dough, but he had a long way to go. "Anyway, what I meant is, I'm Christmas shopping, and I was thinking about what you might like, was gonna get you a jumper, and I think I have an idea of your style, but wanted a little guidance, I'd hate to buy you something and have you hate it—"

"Harry, take a breath!" She could feel that smile he had a way of bringing to her lips, despite herself. She really wanted to be upset with him, but seemed he'd proved himself, or distracted her at least.

Emma can't quite get a full grasp on why she's irritated with the phone call with him.  She's not sure what she expected. They never had a conversation about it, about how they are just a little holiday fling. She's never even had a summer fling, so she doesn't know the rules but she assumes that they are not supposed to repeat year on year. Least not without some progress or a defining conversation where they decided on not a relationship. He was confusing. He'd been so happy to have a bit of extra time with her, she'd thought he might be in touch more, with his seemingly abundant free time. She's wanted him to be in touch more. But he hadn't.

She'd heard from him less than ever.

And now he was buying her gifts and making her smile. Damn him.

"I'm breathing, promise." He sighed. "I just could tell I'd pissed you off, and I don't want to. I've been thinking about Christmas, and well, I'm excited."

"I'm excited too. Holidays are exciting." Emma is not going to read into that. He's excited to be with his family. He's Christmas shopping for everyone. This is not about her, them.

There is no them.

There is no them, except between Christmas Eve and New Years. And that is purely physical.

These are the things she repeated to herself when she was sad, waiting for him to call or text. Sad from how he dragged himself from their pub bed saying he'd miss her and be in touch and then wasn't. His sweet nothings were like when people signed your yearbook K.I.T. She knew you weren't supposed to take those yearbook signings seriously, but he'd said it, not written it below some picture of him. That counted more, right? Than a picture? Those were cheap, especially of him; there were pictures of him everywhere, Emma was also upset that none of them looked like the real life him. Just a shade of his actual beauty.

She wanted to see him now. She missed him though she shouldn't.

Just over a month now until Christmas. And a busy one at that. She had so much data to sift through from the summer and a presentation she was basing on it was her culminating project. It would also make an early start on her field work come summer. Those things, academic, important things were her focused her life's work. Not delicious Harry Styles and his sweet holiday nothings.

"Yes, especially when I get my favorite for Christmas." Harry said bringing her back to the call they were on.

The meaning behind those words were a bit harder to ignore. All she could get out was "Oh?" Then she rolled her eyes at herself and cleared her throat and said, "Your mum's Christmas cake?"

He chuckled. "I am fond of that cake, I think I put on two stone last year from how much I ate. And she sent me home with one!"

Emma almost called bullshit on that. He'd expended all those calories, she'd been the apparatus.

She took a breath to speak, and he cut her off. "I don't mean the cake, anyway, I mean you: you're my favorite thing to have at Christmas. The best gift."

What was she supposed to say to that? Another eloquent oh? Instead she said, "Your favorite thing?" Playful offense on the word thing.

"Oh hush." He laughed. "You're my favorite, Emma. In case you want to be obtuse and miss my point. I'm very excited to see you."

She breathed in. All she could manage to reply with was "Me too."

She meant it, but as they got off the phone after setting up their usual tryst and a special meeting before the party to exchange gifts, she couldn't help but wonder if he did. If what he said was true, why the radio silence?

The gift on her lap on the train was large and ostentatious. She didn't have a ton of money for the it, student life, but her recipient was a millionaire, so she'd gone all out on the wrapping paper.

It was a frog in a Christmas hat, the motif on the paper. Emma remembered when she and Gemma had called Harry "frog boy" and he'd been mortified. But it had also found its way into their private rooms. Not when he was inside her, that would be weird, but when he looked up at her and grinned, all dimples and no teeth from where he likes to make her stomach a pillow.

How "Froggy" had become a term of endearment, she didn't know. The moment she'd seen the cute froggy in his holiday rig on the overpriced paper, she had stopped what she was doing, parked her bike with no lock, and popped in the shop.

She then had to find something to put in the paper. He'd been shopping for her this year, in October, and he'd said he was at the shop and she'd seen pictures of him hauling bags out of Gucci. That was not intimidating at all.

They had exchanged small things in years past. Harry had started it, he'd given a cookbook a friend recommended the year she went vegan. Then the next year he'd donated in her name to a clean air initiative. She'd just picked up odds and ends she thought he'd like, like a 100% recycled journal one year and a glass bottle set for his gym runs the next.

This year, she'd racked her brain, but she'd eventually found the perfect gift to fill her frog paper. She was getting better at this. He was entirely too good at it, and he was a quick learner. She'd been underwhelmed with the flowers he sent the first year and had explained that cut flowers made her sad. It seemed a waste to kill something for its fleeting beauty. Harry had nodded thoughtfully.

The next flower he sent was a gorgeous orchid, it arrived once she was back in Amsterdam and came with instructions. That first orchid had started a trend and between his gifts and her own new interest, her flat was looking very jungle esque.

Emma was always very excited to see him, but this year, after his call, there was more anticipation and preparation. If he was going to be ready for her, she would be ready for him.

She got a fresh haircut and trimmed her bush. The thrift store was kind to her, and her new Christmas jumper was perhaps less ugly than flattering, but that was ok with her. She particularly liked the way it lay over the skirt she'd planned to wear to the Twist's annual todo.

Her flights had been uneventful and her mother was elated and doting. Emma found it much more tolerable this year. Maybe she was just in the spirit, or maybe she'd been away from the village and her family long enough to actually miss them.

She definitely missed Harry.

He, predictably, had texted that his flight was delayed and he was trying to make arrangements, but he might not even make it in time for the party.

"I'm doing everything in my power to get there tonight. If I can't make my mother's party, but arrive tonight, can we meet? I'll call the inn."

"Yes." Was all she texted back. She found she was mourning their kiss beneath the mistletoe, and that he might miss her outfit. But Harry's power was considerable, and she had no doubt he would be at the Boar's Head in time to see what she planned to wear under the sweater.

Those pieces, she felt a twinge guilty about. They were pricey and definitely not second hand. Used pants were where she drew the line.

People, not Emma, bemoaned Harry's absence when those who still lived local or were able to travel home gathered for toast. Emma knew she wasn't the only one who came home partially to see Harry. It was why she was able to fly under Gem's radar, hopefully.

Gemma's only comment was, "He'll be here when he can." When Eloise asked where Harry was. She asked every year, it annoyed Gem, and took some of the heat off Emma. Eloise was so obvious, Gemma could direct some of her protective big sister vibes that way.

The night was winding down and Emma's third glass of champagne could use topping up. She'd just sidled into the kitchen to pop another bottle when a pair of arms came around her from behind.

She'd have dropped the bottle too if Harry had not pulled the most uncharacteristicly smooth and agile catch he'd ever made, whilst dipping her for a swoon worthy kiss.

"Harry!" Emma gasped, "What are you doing?" Her Hand went to find his hair, and she was sad to find it until she found his sharp, bare jaw instead. It cut through her nostalgia and she was able to appreciate his face on a new way. His lips.

"Getting my midnight kiss!"

"It's not New Year's." It was better, like new year's and her birthday combined, that kiss.

"Not yet!" He righted her but stayed wrapped around her while she popped the bottle. She poured him a glass too and had to refrain from holding his hand when she pulled him into the living room after they toasted.

He stole a kiss before they went to join the others.

It looked like his arrival was going to renew the party spirit, but he begged off as tired, and disappeared to his room by 1:30.

Emma wasn't sure what to do, or where to go, so she just slipped out the back at 2:00 when a car nearly gave her heart palpitations by pulling up right in front of her. The door popped open and Harry stuck his head out. "Cmon, it's our getaway car!"

She couldn't help but shake her head. "You disappeared and I didn't know what you wanted to do."

"Well, you obviously!" He giggled, high off the champagne and his conniving. "C'mon! We don't have that long. I wanna do Christmas morning with you!"

"It's still nighttime." Emma pointed out.

"Don't worry, we'll find something to do until the sun comes up." He looked up at her through his lashes and she couldn't help but bite her lips.

"What's the rush, Styles?" Emma asked as she climbed into the car. The driver seemed unconcerned and headed down the familiar lanes of a familiar place.

"No rush, I'm just excited and have to be back so I can sneak in for Christmas brunch."

"Oh." She knew that, it wasn't the first time.

"Not 'oh,' I want to give you your gifts on actual Christmas."

"Are you Santa Claus?" She teased as he pulled her into his chest.

"If that's what you're into? I'll be whoever you want me to be."

"Then just be you." She said with painful earnestness before she could stop herself.

Harry looked down at her in the cradle of his armpit and put his forehead to hers and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "As long as you're you."

Emma melted and if she hadn't been so tired and a little too drunk on bubbly she wouldn't have fallen asleep on the way to the Boar's Head.

"Baby," Harry whispered into her hair. "Wake up, we're here."

"I can't believe I fell asleep that fast."

"It's my voice, I've been told it has a sedative power."

"Sleepy is not usually how your voice makes me feel." What truth serum had she taken tonight?

"Well, I'll have to talk a lot to keep you up then. Hope you're refreshed after your little nap."

She was, and he kept her up but by 5:00, even his deep voice and other powers of persuasion couldn't keep her leaden lids open.

"Baby! Emma." Harry was kissing her awake and holding out a shirt for her slip on while slipping socks up her calves. "Present time."

"Ok, Santa baby." She yawned and let him drag her into the room where she had completely missed the tiny Charlie Brown tree in the corner. "Oh! You went all out." She looked at him in awe when she noticed the multicolored packages under the tree. "I only got you one thing," she was rubbing sleep out of her eyes and too tired to bullshit. "I'm feeling inadequate."

"Nah, I've heard it's better to give than receive."

"That's not what you said a couple hours ago."

"I'll give gifts if you give head." They both scrunched their brows. "Scratch the part where I made it sound like you were my sugar baby."

"Or a prostitute."She raised an arch brow.

"Nah, I couldn't afford you." He didn't even smirk.

So she responded, "I think you think that's a compliment."

He snort laughed and she couldn't help but smile with him. "I mean, you do it well enough to be paid for it, but by the face you're making I better quit talking and get to the spoiling to get myself out of trouble. Go on, open a present."

"Any order you envisioned."

"Um? No, the one where order matters I have a plan for."

"This isn't all?"

"This is most." He nodded and she felt a warm place under her breast that only ignited when he was being domestic.

Back in her old room in her childhood home, or in her flat in Amsterdam, she'd occasionally puzzle over these moments. They felt nothing short of boyfriendy, and she loved it. When she thought back on them, especially in the cold January days, they kept her warm and made her feel special. She hadn't ever felt that warm flush in her chest with anybody but Harry. She'd kind of avoided the feeling, usually.

By July, after long periods of silence where he was running around the world while she endeavored to save it, the glow of those days paled in the midnight sun. When he acted like a boyfriend, like they were more than a hookup and then ignored her, it hurt. When she was well into her yearly drought, and all she had were those shooting stars to wish upon, the sweeter he was, the more rich the ache, the aftertaste saccharine.

Emma could tell, his gifts and the joy he seemed to take in giving them would warm her to the backbone through January, and make her teeth hurt by July.

And still she couldn't convince herself to stop, to ask, to protect herself. She couldn't even detach a little, she was so excited about the little stuffed animal she had for him in return.

"Harry, this is beautiful!" She unfolded a gorgeous sweater dress of a fine wool knit that screamed warm.

"Yeah?" He smiled, pleaded with the praise and himself. "I was at Gucci, and I was gonna get you some stuff there, but they just didn't feel like you, so I started doing some research on sustainable brands and I found this one, and another. This one is good for day to day, it's called Ever Lane, and the next, Bode, it's great for retro pieces. Open the next one."

She'd been staring at him. He was going to buy her Gucci? This was better, but that seemed like a pretty penny to spend on your holiday hook up. She knew money wasn't really an object for him. He always paid for the hotel on their rendezvous and she never brought it up. It was always just taken care of. She wasn't a starving student, but she also wasn't an international pop star. These gifts felt big, bigger than what they were.

He liked to be generous. But, it felt like these gifts, the 5 packages and one coming later were a statement in a language she didn't understand.

"Harry, this is too much." Was all she could say. He didn't respond with words, just gave her a look and shrugged his shoulders like, 'what else am I supposed to do with it'.

Emma knew from Gemma that Harry took care of them, their vehicles and his mum's house and whatever they mentioned they wanted or he thought they'd like.

Gemma had said last year, when she was thrilling over her Christmas gifts, "It's the one time of year I let him get away with it. The rest of the time I've gotten to where I don't mention things I like or want, because they show up on my doorstep, you know?"

Emma had nodded even though she didn't know, but she did now. He was so thoughtful it hurt, but the implications troubled her.

"Open the next one. I'm really excited for it."

It was a beautiful jacket, mustard, her favorite color, and matching mittens.

"For when you want to ride your bike, but it's chilly. They're very warm." He remembered she was cold on her bike that day.

Emma knew he remembered her text after the 'what are you wearing' conversation about being grumpy because she had chosen to ride her bike but it was too cold. His big beating heart could melt snow.

She swallowed down the sentiments clogging her throat along with her worries. Should she ask? She'd have too, eventually. This was feeling more serious than it should be, like he wanted to call her babe for more than a weekend, like he wanted her to stay, with him.

It's what she wanted, in some part of her, but was completely out of the question. He had a big international life, and she had her own global ambition.

The rest was wrapped donation cards to causes she'd worked for or even mentioned. The last gift was a small box, and when she opened it, she cried, then laughed and handed him his box.

"What?" He said, "I can't tell if you're happy or sad about that gift?" He worries his bottom lip.

It was another frog, just like the one she'd picked as the tangible gift when she'd made the donation in his name.

Emma just shrugged and wiped her eyes. "Open it."

His bursting balloon laugh inflated her merry heart. "Did we really do the exact same thing?" His face had an odd look she could only call tender.

"Same wavelength, me and you." He was misty like she had been a moment ago. He leaned forward and kissed her. Then picked up their stuffed frogs and made them kiss like he was a small child playing dolls. "I almost don't want to separate them."

"Are we still talking about the frogs?" She laughed, because she had a feeling they weren't.

He shrugged and his phone began to buzz. "Can I take a rain check on answering that question? If I don't leave right now, they will know I stayed out all night on Christmas Eve, and there will be questions. I don't think we are quite ready to explain what we are." He chose that moment to yawn like a lion in the late afternoon after a long day of lounging and got up to leave.

Emma still had questions.He'd said not quite ready to explain what they were doing. Emma wasn't even sure what they were doing. Were they going to tell people, tell Gemma? Tell them what? That they were together? Wanted to be together? Belonged together. The frogs too, did the frogs belong together?

He was dressed by the time she was done freaking out. He looked tired, but exhilarated, like he'd spent a night getting everything he wanted and a few things he didn't know he needed. "Bye doll," he kissed her, right on the mouth, affectionately and with only a trace of the heat the December air lacked. "I'll see you tomorrow night. Merry Christmas! I wanna see you in the sweater," he was walking through the door. "Oh, and the other thing?"

"Other thing?" She looked at him confused.

He pointed underneath the tree. "Have another look."

Emma blushed when she opened the lingerie. She wondered if he'd had to check her pants and bras for sizes or if he just knew the shape of her well enough that he'd guessed accurately.

They looked really good.

She needed to be getting home as well. There would be no getting out of it, she needed an excuse for rolling in just in time for Christmas brunch, her parents were notorious early risers, as was she. Her plan was to tell them she'd just made too merry the night before and slept on the couch at the Twist's. It was truth adjacent. It was the best she could come up with, her head was full of Harry and she couldn't think.

Her Christmas passed in a blur of food and wine and wrapping paper. Harry had sent her a picture of him with a bow on his head and asked her if she felt spoiled enough or needed him to wear the bow the next day.

She'd told him to wear it. And only it.

She'd not expected him to follow directions both precisely and with some creative license.

"Do you really think your cock is a gift?" She tried to mock him, while he stood proudly, hips first in their room at the Boat's Head.

"Well, I intend to give it to you!" He raised his eyebrows and stalked toward her. "I like the sweater. Looks amazing, but? Probably better here." He swept it over her head and deposited it on the floor.

"That was atrocious!" She giggled, but felt no anxiety unlike the last day or so.

"Yeah, maybe, but I needed to see if you'd worn my other gift."

"I thought it was my gift."

"For both of us, I'd argue." He winked.

"You wink like a drunk pirate." She couldn't help but smile at him. His silly banter had completely removed the nerves she should be feeling, standing in front of him in a Santa red bra, panties, garter belt, and stockings. She'd sourced the Santa hat herself and the black heels were hers.

"I'm feeling drunk seeing you in this." His hands were running over the satin on her hips and the lace at her waist, then the bare flesh of her ass. "I think I even lied to myself. This was definitely my present." The last word was said against her lips and his big hands slid down the globes of her backside to between her thighs, hoisting her onto his hips. The trail his thumbs left had her shivering.

The bed rose up to meet her. Harry hovered over her before standing and staring.

"Are we on pause?" She was panting and really hoping they were not stopping let alone slowing.

He opened his hands like a director, "I'm just trying to remember this to keep me warm all year." He ran his hands from her toes to her curled hair, she'd gone all out, then back down. His face was full of anticipation and a hesitation she'd never seen when she was this bare, not even the first time when he was flush on bravado and international acclaim.

"What is it?" She started to sit up.

He groaned. "Wow, that move did great things for your chest."

Emma could only laugh. He was acting like he'd never seen a naked woman, when he'd probably seen more than his fair share, and had definitely seen her before.

"You're acting like you've never seen me before."

"It's always like the first time. You're overwhelming."

"I'm overwhelming?" She wanted to laugh, she saw him as Harry, at first her friend's brother, then the cute boy with the big career she'd hooked up with, then her favorite holiday surprise, and now she couldn't define exactly what he was to her, mostly Harry? Who she missed all year and cherished for a week at a time in person, a deeply in her heart the rest of the time. She remained aware, however, of who he was, at large.

"Absolutely, I can barely take you. Can't believe I get to have you." What did she say to that? She only nodded, it was mutual. "Listen," he continued, "Can I take a picture of you. I'll keep your face out of it."

She thought for a moment, thrilled that he wanted to save this memory, to relive this moment until they met again. She didn't have any pictures of him, and thought there were so many online, none of them were really of him. "Yeah, go on Harry."

Maybe she should take one back. Save the neck down one place and the neck up as her wallpaper, she could get away with it. She saw classmates with him as their Home Screen. Her plans kept the nerves at bay while he got his set up ready.

He posed a leg, had her lay back, and then sit up. He took about 5 pictures on his phone, then three Polaroids, and by then she was getting into it. She was moving in ways that made her feel sexy and he was getting antsy.

"I'll show you, so you can approve, after." He discarded the phone and pulled his jumper over his head before crawling up the bed and over her.

"I trust you Harry. It's fine."

She wasn't sure what it was about those words, but he grew, thicker between her thighs and larger in her presence before he was kissing her bra off and asking if he could leave the stockings and shoes on.

"'Mmmhmmm." Emma moaned from her perch on the pillows looking down watching him pull her panties free and reattaching her stockings. "Damn." He kissed both places and flipped her over to skate his lips up her thighs and ass and back. Her hair was over her face while he kissed her neck and rutted into her with his jeans still on. She grabbed a handful of his glorious hair and kissed him over her shoulder. "Like this?" She asked.

"Mmhmmm." He echoed and she felt him kicking his jeggings free and sliding on the condom. She was flat on the mattress and unsure if he wanted her to push back on her knees. She didn't need to think about it long, he hoisted her up, and pressed a gentle hand between her shoulder blades so her body arched like a slide. His fingers climbed up to cascade down her backbone in an echo of the ride he was about to take down. He was right there, hovering, and Emma pushed back, but the whine in her voice was the more obvious tell.

"Baby, I need you."

"I need you, so much. Miss you when I'm gone."

She missed him when she was gone too. He slid his head in and waited. Emma wasn't really in control of the clenching this caused and it made Harry lose his grip on his. The smack of his hips against her thighs reverberated off the borrowed walls they considered their own.

He stroked her inside out and commented on the grip of her onto his dick. "It's like you don't want to let me go," he whispered into her ear.

Emma turned her head and breathed, "I don't want to." The kiss broke his rhythm and lingered until her clenching started over, again. How was she so close so soon?

"No, no, no." She whined when he pulled out.

"Shhhh, I've got you." He knew she was onto something, they'd become practiced hands at each other's pleasure.

He flipped her over and smoothed her hair back, bracketing her face between his hands like an aside he needed to voice right at that moment. "I just want to see you."

He went back in with ease, and with anybody else she might be ashamed for how embarrassingly wet she was, for the squelch. "God! Harry!" Her thighs came up to his hips and he hitched one over his elbow and open, then lay a good portion of his weight onto her. It was just the right side of too much. Just like all of him.

"Let me find it again, that high you were chasing?"

She was nodding, babbling. He picked up the rhythm from before and added a tiny rut at the end to the swelling of her clit. She was back on the trail to the summit quickly. It had been good, if fumbling, from night one. By this gift season, it was like he had installed all of her buttons personally and could push her to the edge at will. Her eyes were closed and she was concentrating hard on the oasis just beyond her horizon.

"Baby," he whispered, his breath soft and scented like her lip balm. "Open your eyes." He was just over her and he wrapped her open thigh back and around his knee. "Watch me," he made a c with his body so she could watch the goings on and feel them too.

"Oh, fuck."

"I love your filthy mouth. When you get going. Demure driven Emma on the brink has a dirty dirty mouth."

She'd narrow her eyes at him if she could bear to look away from his cock.

"Baby!" She gasped.

"Hold it, stay, just a little longer." He kissed her and then compelled her eyes to his. "I'll come with you."

His nose touched hers at just the tip and he rocked her and watched as she trembled and held off and pleaded. "Now, now, come now." He grit his teeth in preparation, but he needn't have worried, the minute he commanded it, she obeyed and the body roll of sensation ran from the roots of her hair to the bends of her knees.

He seized and his head fell back, but as soon as he was in command of himself again, his eyes were back on hers. "I love...," he gasped and her mind raced over what the hell he might say. What she wanted to gasp back. It was a bit of a comedown as opposed to a denouement when he filled in, "...having you for Christmas."

He buried his face in her neck and breathed into the nooks and crannies she thought she had kept safe from him.

Which was why it hurt so much when she had to tell him no.

His final gift, complete with an aching grin, had been an open ended ticket. "So you can come to me, with me, on tour."

She knew her brow knotted up like a bundle of discarded yarn. That wasn't the agreement. And she couldn't, couldn't even allow herself to want it. She had her PhD program looming. There was no time to go anywhere this fall.

"Harry, you know I can't."

He looked crestfallen, like this was new information and not why they only got these stolen snowbound days once a year. "Can't or won't?" He was verging on angry and it would piss her off if her heart wasn't so close to fissuring.

Honesty was her only policy, "Both." She handed the ticket back to him.

It ruined their night, the movie they tried to distract themselves with, the goodbye sex they didn't have.

He wasn't even there when she woke up the next morning.

But the tickets were on his pillow with a small note, "Change your mind, please. I'll be seeing you. H."

[thefanficmonster]

For Better And Through Worse

Rodney Skinner (The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen) x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Romance

Summary: Y/N is a simple girl with big dreams. She works hard towards her goal of travelling the world, seeing all it has to offer. She’s also a devoted student, one with the hopes of one day fulfilling yet another dream of becoming a fashion designer and leaving the town her and her sister have been stuck working in. Her stars align and fate smiles down upon her one day when a rather mysterious man makes his way in the café she works at.

Requested by Anon. Hello there! I’m so terribly sorry to be posting your request so late, dear. I hope the fic makes the wait worth it. This is the first time I’ve been introduced to this character and this movie in its entirety and I absolutely loved it! Thank you so much for the request and for your patience. Please enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

“Close that book, Y/N! Your shift’s starting!“ My manager scares me half to death when his voice suddenly booms throughout the empty diner. 

It’s close to one in the morning and I’m stuck with the shitty overnight shift tonight because my older sister wasn’t feeling well. I arrived early while my friend still hadn’t finished his shift and decided to kill time productively by studying behind the cash register. Even though my shift has started, there is no real reason for me to abandon my book considering how dead the place is. Dead, eerie and unsettling. It’s 24/7 diner in the middle of seemingly nowhere. Well, our town in general is a big ‘nowhere’. If you came here on vacation - no you didn’t. You probably got lost along the way to a different destination. If you live here - good luck, hope you get out soon.

A young, 5′2 girl with only a can of pepper spray to defend herself with left in a café working the shift from one to eight AM. That’s simply ludicrous! I can hardly believe my manager has the audacity to leave like this. Not even a ‘call if you need anything’ out of politeness. Nothing! He doesn’t like any of the workers here so I don’t take it personal but he’s EXTRA mean to me because my sister turned his offer of a date down. It’s a surprise he hasn’t fired the both of us yet. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if he’d be doing damage or doing us a favor by firing us.

I wait for the jerk to leave before reopening my book and proceeding with my reading. I can’t contain the smile that automatically appears on my face whenever my mind wanders into the contents of the pages. Seeing the pictures of the fashion creations gives me hope that one day I’ll be standing in front of a mannequin that will be displaying a piece I’ve designed. A piece won’t be enough though. I want an entire clothing line. Several even! The fiery passion in me won’t be easily satisfied - I have a vivid goal in mind and I won’t rest until I have it in my hands, until I’m looking at my clothes in the windows of shops and in magazines.

I unintentionally stop reading let myself daydream - well, it’s more like dreaming with open eyes considering it’s one AM. My imagination is sometimes so real it scares me. It all feels like I can reach out and grab it, hold it close, live it for a little while. However, that ideal life is soon ended by the sound of the bell that hangs above the door of the café ringing. I come flying down from my daydreaming cloud with a startled jump. My heart is beating quickly for no real reason other than the fact that there’s a person here at this hour. Knowing the type of town this one is, they are either one of the local drunks or not local at all. An outsider. The ones that everyone assumes are criminals on the run.

I couldn’t blame them if they said that about this guy. Mysterious, shady, suspicious - all adjectives that describe him perfectly. His sudden presence makes me uneasy. Many outsiders who choose to stick around for a bit frequent this bar, therefore I know some of them. This one I have never seen before. He almost looks unreal - a walking doll. He’s got an abnormally pale, sheet white complexion, a top hat and sunglasses. Sunglasses?! At the dead of an already pitch black night. I’m surprised he hasn’t stumbled into something yet. Maybe he has, what do I know.

“Good evening. One beer please.“ He says, hopping onto a bar stool and resting his elbows on the counter top of the bar that some ways down from the cash register - the two counters are connected.

“Coming right up.“ That’s the usual response I give to customers but I’ve never said it so hesitantly. He’s not being creepy or anything, he’s not even doing the staring most customers do which while uncomfortable, I still have to tolerate. The only truly off-putting thing about him is his appearance and the fact that he’s here at this hour. Drinking beer.

I keep my gaze on him out of the corner of my eye as I go fetch a cold beer bottle from the fridge behind the bar. I typically do waitressing, but I know my way around the bar as well. I see him reach for yesterday’s paper one of the previous customers has left there. He’s still distracted by it when I approach him and put a coaster down in front of him as well as the beer bottle, mumbling a quick: “Here you go.”

He lifts his head only enough to give me a nod with a small smile. From that proximity, the color of his skin looks more like paint, which is even more unsettling. He has also taken off his sunglasses, his eyes now free to make direct contact with mine which makes me pause for a second before asking the second routine question, “Anything else?”

“Uh, yes....“ His eyes go down to my nametag, “Y/N, could you tell me where this address is?“ He slides a piece of paper over closer to me. 

I reluctantly nod and look at the note he’s handed me. The letters are written in poor handwriting but I can still decipher the majority of what’s written. “This address is from the next town over, sir.” I inform him with a tightlipped smile that’s my way of sort of apologizing for the inconvenience.

He nods slowly, “Well, how far is this town exactly?” He furrows his brows at me and takes out a pen, taking the note back so he could write something at the back of it. 

“It’s a city compared to this one. It’s a two hour drive from here.“ I tilt my head to the side, discreetly looking at what he’s writing down.

“Thank you.“ He puts the note and pen away, “By the way, don’t take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?“ He gives me puzzled look.

I scoff and shrug my shoulders, “Working, as you can see. I’m covering this shift for someone else, I don’t usually work it.” I respond nonchalantly. 

“No, I mean what are you doing working here at all?“ He points at me, “That dress, it’s self-made, right?“ 

Ok that’s off-putting. Either he is clairvoyant or it’s so obvious that an amateur has made it that he couldn’t help but notice and point it out. All I can give as an answer is a slight nod, a baffled expression on my face.

“That’s what I thought. It’s incredible.“ He probably realizes that he has caught me off-guard and has confused me, so he shakes his head with a small chuckle and a wave of his glove covered hand. “I saw the book you were reading on my way in. Fashion and design. So you’re an aspiring clothing designer?“ 

I feel relief wash over me as the confused furrow and pursed lips are replaced by a relaxed smile. I take the few steps back to where I was previously sitting and where I’ve left the book. I hand it to him once I return for him to see. “Yes, but the course here is expensive and I can’t afford it without this job.”

He nods slowly as his eyes carefully scans the pages he turns. “Impressive, so a goal-getter as well.”

I can’t help but giggle, “And a traveler at heart. I also need the money for that...” I open the book to it’s last page and show him the list I have written of places I’d like to visit. 

His eyes widen a bit in amazement as they go down the neatly written list. “You know, I’ve visited some of these places. I plan on visiting the rest as well. I could use a partner.” He winks at me playfully.

I roll my eyes, “As I said, I can’t afford it. You think I’d still be in this town if I could?” I say rather bitterly. Feels like the subject is an open wound and talking about it is the same as pouring salt on it.

“Who says you’ll have to pay a penny. I said I’d like some company, you’ll be paying me with your presence.“ His gaze is firm on mine, his tone suggesting he isn’t kidding around. I unintentionally let my disbelief morph into a ‘bullshit’ expression of distrust that causes him to raise his hands up as if surrendering, “No funny business, though I know what this looks like to you. Trust me, I wouldn’t offer that to just anybody. I sense how strongly you wish to fulfill your dreams. I see it all in your eyes, there’s a flame behind them. And...I’m gonna be honest, I’ve done many less than honorable things in my life. But when I see a chance to do good, I want to take it. Now it’s on you, take it or leave it.“

I’m stunned and frozen. I can’t even answer him. I’m just standing here with my mouth hanging open and eyes wide, staring at him awaiting for him to burst out laughing at any moment like ‘Did you really believe that?!’  But he doesn’t. He remains serious and after what feels like forever smirks, putting a hundred bucks next to the untouched beer bottle. 

“If you change your mind...I swing back the same time tomorrow.“

Before I can even shake free from my shock he has already left. I didn’t even get the chance to tell him I won’t be here the same time tomorrow. I feel my heart sink as my mind races, two sides of me battling - one that wants to take the chance that’s being offered to me and the other scolding me for even considering it.

Dumb or not I’m rooting for the first side. 

Eyes don’t lie. Just like he read me so well just by looking at mine, I read him by looking at his. All he said was true, not a doubt in my mind about it. He meant all he said and for some odd reason I believe him despite him being a complete stranger. I don’t even know his name, for goodness’ sake! But I want to go with him. The hard part for me would be leaving my family behind though.

Well, I have a little less than twenty four hours and a seemingly never-ending uneventful shift ahead of me to ponder it.

                                                              *  *  *

I can’t believe any of this - not what I’ve done, not what I’m doing and most definitely not what I’m about to do.

I have packed my bags and snuck out of the house, running at full speed to the café. When I arrived I was breathless, with a heart beating faster than a galloping horse.

I’m now waiting for the man. The stranger. The person who could be anyone or anything - including dangerous - but right now all he is to me is my path to success, the person who’ll guide me to achieving my goals.

I’m about to go running away with this man, off to God knows where. No one guarantees he won’t do harm to me. I can’t be 100% certain this won’t end badly for me. All I can do is take this chance if I want to. And I really REALLY want to. 

Just as the clock strikes 1:25 AM, an old car pulls up at the curb in front of the café. I’m standing in the shadows, away from any windows to avoid being spotted by the worker who’s on the dead shift as I call it. The way the car has parked it’s positioned directly underneath a street lamp, almost like it’s under a spotlight. The door to the drivers side opens to reveal the same man from last night. When he steps out in the lamp’s light he looks to be glowing, his unusually pale complexion shinning in the light. 

“Y/N!“ I call out to him, startling him for once instead of the other way around.

He stops and looks around, taking the sunglasses off and narrowing his eyes at his surroundings. I chuckle to myself and step within the line of light, “My name’s Y/N. You already know that.” His eyes land on me and a smile spreads across his face as well as mine. “I don’t know yours though.”

He takes a step towards me, “Rodney. Rodney Skinner. Though, please don’t let that name throw you off. It was given to me for far less sadistic reasons than you may be imagining right now.”

I can’t help but laugh, “All I ask is for you to not skin me alive.”

He gives me a small bow, “I shall respect your request. Now...“ he straightens his posture and turns to motion to his car, “To freedom and adventure?”

I don’t know what takes over me and drives me to close the space between us, but it is also to blame for the fact that I pressed my lips against him. Even after realizing what I have done, I don’t pull away. I don’t see my doing as wrong - in fact, I feel like I’m doing all the right things for myself tonight. He responds to the kiss after a second or two of stunned hesitation.

The little kid in me can’t wait for this journey to commence anymore so I pull away abruptly, giving him a bright, wide smile and my eyes bright. I watch as he comes back to the present moment and nods, mumbling as if to himself a quick, “Right...” before circling around the car and opening the passenger side door. 

I gladly take a seat and fasten the seatbelt while Rodney takes my suitcase and backpack and puts them in the trunk of the car. Here it is, I’m seconds away from the biggest step in my life so far. A dangerous and risky step for sure, but the sense of freedom I feel is worth it all. The joy and excitement I feel as the car starts moving is all I need to keep looking forward and keep my mind off my family’s reaction when they find my goodbye note.

“By the way, what’s at that address you showed me yesterday?“ I ask to keep myself distracted from the aforementioned thought which is stronger than I thought it would be.

“Ah, a friend of mine, Nemo. He holds the vehicle of our travels. Tell me...“ his hand nonchalantly rests on top of mine between the seats causing me to blush, “have you ever traveled by a submarine?“

I physically jolt at the absurdness of the question, “You’re not serious!” I turn to look at him, my free hand covering my mouth which is hung open in disbelief.

He laughs, taking the hand he’s holding and bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to my knuckles which relaxes me. “I’m deadly serious, Y/N. Speaking of Nemo though, do you know of any good barbecue places in that town? He loves a good barbecue.”

I grimace, “No and I’d much rather never know or enter one.” He gives me a quick puzzled glance, careful not to take his eyes off the road for too long, “I’m a vegetarian.” I clarify with a snicker.

I see the realization be processed and show on his face, followed by a laugh when he says, “Oh Nemo’s gonna love ya.”

I don’t know if that was sarcasm or ironic. I just know one thing - I have so much ahead of me at the moment. Travelling, studying, meeting new people, seeing a submarine, for the love of God! And even a potential romantic relationship. The future has never looked so bright for me, and this is all thanks to this abnormal yet hypnotic man next to me.

Freedom and adventure, here we come!

[wayward-wlw]

A Day in the Sun

I hope I haven’t missed the deadline on wedding posting! Here’s a Claire-centric wedding fic :) 

AO3 Link 

*** 

They aren’t her dads.

Claire’s pretty insistent about that, because she had a dad. Sure, she has issues with Jimmy. She still feels a little abandoned, still thinks he was an idiot, sometimes she’s pinned with a rage so sharp and bright it scares her, just because she thought about the choice he made when she was just a kid.

But the rage passes, and she remembers that he was her dad, and for the first nine years of her life, he did okay at that.

(Now that she’s a hunter, she’s learned that having an okay dad for nine whole years is an anomaly in this business, something to be grateful for.)

Jimmy was her dad, so Dean and Cas are just Dean and Cas.

Except once at Cas’s bachelor party.

She’d had a bit to drink. She’d actually had a lot to drink, snuck carefully whenever everyone was too busy toasting Cas or dancing to notice what was in her glass. The world had gotten round and had started to spin just enough to make it seem more fun. She’d started dancing, clinging to Kaia with sweaty palms and swinging her around with abandon, her head thrown back while she laughs.

After a while they’d both sat down to watch the festivities, and Kaia had slumped over, her head in Claire’s lap, and Claire had stroked her hair and smiled at Jody and Cas dancing, making up for their complete lack of skill with sheer enthusiasm. 

The word had been like a bucket of ice poured over her head, launching her into something closer to sobriety. 

After a while even she had started to doze off, and that’s when Cas had come over, shaking her awake to help her back to the motel room.

She remembers swatting at his hand when he’d tried to help her stand. “’M fine, dad.” 

Cas froze, his hand an inch from her arm. “Claire—” 

She hadn’t known whether to try to laugh it off, or to pretend it hadn’t happened, but she’d been drinking, and suddenly that word had seemed so big and so important and so distant that there were tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to ruin the makeup she’d worked so hard to make look this careless. 

Carefully, Cas stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder, giving her plenty of time and space to pull away. 

Cas didn’t smell like Jimmy, didn’t even really look like him anymore. He moves differently and talks differently, and when she leaned into him in that moment, he hadn’t hugged her the same way she remembered Jimmy hugging. 

And that, strangely, was okay. 

When she’d stepped away from Cas, still a little teary, Jody had stepped in, and then Alex had crushed in on her other side, and Patience, her extra senses dulled with alcohol, hadn’t even noticed Claire’s little misspeak, so she shouted “Group hug!” 

And suddenly Claire was surrounded on all sides, and Cas is crushed against her, the button on his stupid coat pushing into her cheek hard enough that she thinks it’ll leave a mark. 

Now all laughing, Claire’s mistake and outburst forgotten, everyone had filed out and back towards the motel while Donna began a joyfully off-key rendition of Piano Man that should have gotten them all arrested. 

When she wakes up, it all comes flooding back to her, and Claire is left with the very firm reminder that they are not her dads. 

She leaves the crowd and the noise of wedding preparations to sit on the impala. As long as Dean doesn’t need to go anywhere, she’ll be left alone here, which is exactly what she wants. 

She looks up, afraid she’d somehow called him because she’d been thinking about him, even though he said it didn’t work like that anymore. “Cas.” 

She needs to think, get her head sorted out before she goes back in among the guests and the joy and the excitement.

“Claire?” 

“Are you… alright?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You were drinking last night—” 

Claire rolls her eyes. “You going to lecture me?” 

He shakes his head, his eyes crinkling up at the edges. “No. How’s your head? I’m told sometimes there are headaches.” 

“Fine,” She says, without bothering to tell him about the ibuprofen she’d already taken and would need to take again soon. 

“Good.” 

They’re silent for a minute, and a bird starts singing shrilly from a nearby tree. 

“Last night—”

“Sorry about—” 

They both stop and look at each other, but Cas gestures for her to go on.

“Uh, sorry about what I said last night,” She says, scuffing her foot in the dirt, refusing to look at him. Jimmy’s face, Cas’s face. Dad’s face.

He seems surprised, from what she can tell without looking at his face.

“I wanted to apologize to you,” He says slowly, as if he’d had a speech prepared, but she’d already gone off-script.

“Why?” She asks.

“I… I’m not your father.”

Claire laughs a little raggedly. “I know, dumbass.”

He frowns at her language. “Really, Claire. I’m sure this must be… difficult for you.”

She laughs again, but this time there’s no humor in it at all. “That’s the problem,” She admits. “It’s not that difficult at all.”

He tilts his head, the funny, curious puppy dog look he probably should have stopped doing a long time ago. “I don’t understand.” 

She shrugs, chewing on her nail. “I don’t know, I guess… you fill the void, or something.” 

“Last night… I didn’t call you dad because you look like Jimmy,” She admits, looking away, trying to find the bird in the tree so that she doesn’t have to see his reaction to her confession.

“You…” 

Cas nods slowly. “Family doesn’t end with blood,” He says, and it sounds like he’s quoting someone. 

“Sounds like something Dean would say.” 

“Something someone said to him.” 

Cas leans into her arm, bumping against it just hard enough for her to know it was intentional, and waits for her to look at him. 

When she finally does, he smiles. “I’m very glad you’re here. I don’t—I don’t have a lot of family left, and what I had wasn’t… ideal.” 

“No one’s family is ideal,” Claire says, then has to pause to wonder if he’s seen the breakfast club, and if she needs to add that to the family movie night list. 

“Mine might have been a little bit messier than most,” He says. “But… I want you to know that I’m very honored that you’ve let me be your family, Claire. It’s—” 

“If you say some stupid bullshit about not deserving it, I’ll punch you,” Claire says, softening her words with a smile. 

“For what?” 

He puts his hands up, conceding the point. “Truly, thank you, Claire.”

She flushes, looking away and swallowing a sudden lump in her throat. “Yeah, uh, thank you, too.” 

She shrugs, digging the toe of her sneaker into the dirt. “You came back.”

Carefully, Cas puts his arm around her, and she goes willingly, leaning against his chest.

“Sometimes I hate him, you know,” Claire admits.

“Claire—”

She doesn’t let him try to take the blame for Jimmy’s choice. “I hated him for leaving, but… if he hadn’t done it, if you hadn’t picked him… I never would have become a hunter. I never would have met Kaia or Jody or Alex or Patience or Dean or Sam. They’re my family too. I wouldn’t trade any of it.” 

Cas nods. “Half the people at our wedding have tried to kill us. Dean and I have tried to kill each other. Love is very complicated sometimes.” 

She laughs. She’s heard the stories, but it’s still hard to picture Dean and Cas fighting, aside from their snippy little arguments. They love each other; it’s clear as day. She can’t really make herself believe they’d ever hurt each other, even though she knows they have.

Not that it really matters. All’s well and all that.

“So…” She smiles hesitantly. “You’re getting married tomorrow.”

The smile that splits Cas’s face is so wide it seems to involve his entire body. The sun gets brighter, as if he’s turned up the saturation on the whole world.

“Yes, I am.”

“Nervous?” She asks.

He shakes his head. “Why would I be?”

“People usually are, I think.” Claire hasn’t been to a wedding since she was a kid, when she’d been a flower girl in her mom’s friend’s wedding, and this doesn’t feel anything like that.

Cas shrugs. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I love Dean, and he loves me.” He smiles, like the idea of that is still new and incredible. 

“Are you ready?” He asks.

“Glad you two finally figured that one out, it was getting a little embarrassing.”

Cas rolls his eyes, and Claire smiles.

“For…”

“Your speech at the rehearsal dinner tonight.”

“Yeah,” She lies. “Absolutely. I have it all worked out.”

“It’s all ready,” She assures Cas. “But, uh, I should go practice.”

Later, she will run to Jody, with Kaia’s hand gripped in hers, and force them both to sit down and work out a speech with her. (“How do I start?”

“Start with a funny story about him, or like, when you met or something.”

“Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today to celebrate the guy who possessed my dad, and the man who didn’t think that was weird.”

“Okay, maybe not that.”)

He smiles and hugs her quickly. “I should go find Dean.”

“Isn’t it bad luck or something to see him?”

“We’ve already had all our bad luck.”

It takes about four hours of work for her, Jody, and Kaia to get something usable onto the notecard. Claire isn’t sure that it’s perfect, but she thinks it’s as close as it’ll be, so when Kaia squeezes her hand as the rehearsal dinner is starting and asks, “Are you ready?” Claire smiles and says yes.

She steps up and takes the microphone from Jack, whose speech was his usual blend of baffling and adorable. He gives her n enthusiastic thumbs up, and she smiles back, taking a deep breath before she turns to face the crowd.

“Someone told me once that family doesn’t end with blood.” 

Dean’s mouth drops open, and his eyes go glassy as he reaches for Cas’s hand. Claire has to fight around a lump in her throat to keep going.

“We can’t let it, in this job, because a lot of us lose our blood family.” Claire thinks about Jimmy and her mom, and family dinners that always started with a prayer.  “And sometimes we’re mad about it. Sometimes we try to get revenge.”

She locks eyes with Sam and Dean. She knows their story, knows how it started.

Then she looks at Cas. “But sometimes it’s easier to let go of being angry and just… live. I’m glad I picked the other, because if I decided to get revenge on the angel that possessed my dad—” There’s an uncomfortable ripple of laughter through the crowd “—I would have missed out on the best backup family I could have found.”

She raises her glass to Dean and Cas. “You guys aren’t my dads, but whatever you are, I love you, and I’m happy for you. Congratulations.”

She manages to sit down and hide her face in a sip of champagne before the first tear breaks free.

[lucysuniverse]

Critical Beauty

Am I the only one who thinks Jo Jinho is perfect just the way he is? Probably not. :D

To be honest I incredibly miss this man so I just wanted to feel him a bit closer while I am writing this story and he is serving in the military.

Happy Birthday Jinho! We love you all. 

Pairing: Jinho x OC/reader

Genre: comfort, romance, angst

Word count: 6081

______________________________

I messed up. Like totally. My dad and those idiot colleagues of mine totally washed my brain. But after all I was the one ruining our relationship completely. And I could not blame him for having the will to break up with me because If I was in his shoes I would have done the same.

-|-

I knew it wasn’t right this way. We lived together for almost a year by now, and I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him that I was lying to him continuously in order to protect him from pain and save his self-esteem. Or at least this was my intention through-out the years.

We lived in a small flat. This is what we could afford. I just graduated from high-school and he was going to auditions. One after another. He was determined, and he was good. Insanely good. I couldn’t understand what is missing. What do you need more to become a singer? Didn’t he have outstanding vocals? He did. Didn’t he have a bit shy but loveable personality? He did. Didn’t he have sense of humor? HE DID. And on top of that he was handsome. WHAT WAS MISSING THEN???

As his girlfriend my heart was aching to watch all his efforts go to waste after so many years passed. We had a relatively big age gap between us. Well as long as you’re a teenager or young adult even two and a half years difference seem a lot. But later on, it doesn’t really matter. Especially not when you like someone. Because you like them for the person they are.

I loved him so incredibly. Because he was great. He was caring and cute but sometimes surprisingly masculine and very hot. I couldn’t wish for a better man. There was only one thing missing. Actually, not was but were. 5 more inches.

Because although we were quite far from each other in terms of age, we were all the more so close in terms of height. To be honest I guess I might have been smaller than him, but it never felt like that. And every time I thought about this I felt ashamed. Because that was the only thing which gave me hard times. I wouldn’t say I didn’t like his height. I liked everything about him. But sometimes I just wished he was a tiny bit taller, or I was even smaller (if that was possible).

Sometimes I found myself wondering about this: this couldn’t be the reason of him failing all those auditions, right? They can’t be so mean right? If you’ve ever heard a good singer than you would know that Jo Jinho was one of them.

This is why I always told my father to wait just a little. He was really opposing our relationship. I would have understood his concerns if he had real reasons, since I was his only daughter. But what he always said was ridiculous, narrow-minded and I just resent him for that.

“When will he finally stop this stupid joke of becoming a singer. Didn’t he have enough throughout these years?”

“I am fine dad. How about you?” I said as a reply. I was so fed up listening to his bullshit all the time. He heard Jinho singing. And even though he would have never admitted, he knew Jinho was born to be a singer. Anybody could tell. But sadly, in his eyes only those are real men who are lawyers or doctors. When they divorced with mom, he even found me a real man… My dad thought I should go on a blind date with the trainee of his divorce lawyer. He even complimented his ears! Like what the heck! My always logical and strict dad tells me to date the trainee of his divorce lawyer because he has nice ears.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve never thought about leaving Jinho, but my dad nagged me all the time so I checked the guy’s social media pages. Funfact: he was born on the freaking same day in April as Jinho. Am I freaking joke?

“Little woman… I am your dad no need to act like this. But think about your future kids. Will they be also minions?”

“Bye dad it was good to talk to you.” And I hung up. I didn’t want to ignore him. After all he was my dad. But we never had a good relationship. Well a relationship at all. But the irritating thing was that even if I tried to ignore all these comments he made me angry. I couldn’t stop myself. I should not marry Jinho but we are already expecting kids?! And minions? And these are my dad’s words when he himself isn’t a giant either. ARRGGGGHHH!

“Hi babe! Is everything okay?” Jinho asked. And as always, I put on a nice smile and said “yeah, all good.” And I hated myself for that.

-|-

“What is that?” He asked curiously. I didn’t know he was still at home. I wanted to put the box back under the bed as soon as possible but it was too late he saw it.

“Oh this? It is just something stupid. It is not important. Did you leave something here?”

“Yeah, I left my phone on the charger. But don’t change the topic. It must be something important if you were staring at it so dearly.”

“Oh no. You misunderstood.”

“Okay, enough of this. What’s that? Do you have something to hide from me?” And even though he didn’t say this in an offended way there was edge in his voice.

“It’s your birthday gift.”

“My birthday gift?”

“Yeah.” I knew this couldn’t work. But I couldn’t come up with a real acceptable reason.

“It was last month. And procrastination is your middle name so it can’t be for my next one, I am not buying this. So, what is that?”

“I will bring this back okay? I don’t know why I bought this. I must have lost my mind. I just …”

“Oh show me finally.” And before I could give him the box he took it out of my hands.

“You must be kidding me, right?” He asked after 3 minutes of torturing silence.

“Look I am sorry. I know we should be saving money and …. but I can ask for refund and also…”

“You created such a big scene just because of this?” And he was laughing. He was LAUGHING!

“What? Aren’t you mad?”

“Why would I be? Should I?”

“Oh… yeah. I mean no. No. I just thought… I just…”

“You thought I would be upset to found out that my girlfriend is secretly buying a pair of high-heels for herself to feel pretty? I am getting more upset now that I know you felt like you should hide this. Also, why did you think I didn’t want to see your pretty legs in this? I thought you knew me better. If that’s all I am off for work. Bye babe see you in the afternoon.” And he gave me a light kiss on my forehead. And I felt on my skin he was smiling. “And I hope next time I see you, you’ll be wearing these.” And he casually left the room.

I made a fool out of myself. I really thought he would be offended by this. I mean it wasn’t a big deal to give up on high-heels. They weren’t very comfortable anyway and we really had to save money. But I was young and for the first time in my life I felt getting more feminine. Maybe I was already but this time I started to realize.

I thought it was selfish of me having these secret desires to put on a bit tighter clothes and wore high-heels especially when he is not really taller than me, but after having this conversation I was even more encouraged. I knew he didn’t have problems with it and that was all that mattered. I was happily tiptoeing to the office. My colleagues even complimented me.

The girls were jealous for having those nice shaped legs, and the boys… let’s not talk about them. If you think they will become serious once they grow up… Well friend you are totally mistaken. Boys will be boys. But they didn’t cross the line, in their own way they complimented me as well. And I felt confident and happy. All thanks to my sweet boyfriend whom I could always rely on.

I was in a really good mood until the point I let some idiots ruin my day. I couldn’t say they ruined it. I was the one let them do it. I just wish I never overheard their conversation.

“I was wondering why she is never coming to the year-end parties but now I see. The company is not yet prepared for those legs.”

“That was a good one bro. But they say she is just staying home all the time with that hopeless guy. I feel sorry for her to have such a boyfriend.”

“What really? Why aren’t they coming together?”

“Another rumor says it the guy is a dwarf. So, she is rather staying home with him.”

“Wow. How do you know so many things?”

“Resources…”

“Which girl then?”

“The blondie in the red jeans.”

“Mmmmmh.”

“Stop it she is mine.”

“Until when?”

“Tonight. Then you can have her.”

“You are disgusting man. Well done.” And they laughed.

“Ah but that sweetie. I really feel sorry for her. Having that boyfriend can be very burdensome.”

“Oh yeah. If I was her boyfriend, I would make sure she feels good in every situation.”

“You mean every position.”

“Exactly.” And they laughed again. “You know me so well.”

I felt dirty. It’s not like they did anything specific to me. They were just fantasizing. But I felt fucking dirty in that moment. I wanted to erase this conversation from my head but instead I heard their words repeatedly in my head.

I heard my shoes making that irritating sound on the street while I was going home. With every step I felt smaller and smaller. I regretted wearing that stupid high-heel… So as soon as I arrived home I put them back in their box cleaned, ready to bring them back to the shop. I would want to throw them away instantly but then suddenly I thought about Jinho.

We need to spare money. He needs to buy some nice clothes for the next audition. And also, we barely manage to pay the bills since I just started studying in the med school and next to collage it is quite hard to work. Sometimes I thought maybe I should just quit dreaming about becoming a doctor but there was a senior doc, my supervisor who inspired me a lot. Last month he helped that well-known celebrity couple. He said the lady had some complications while she was giving birth to their little girl but the doctor helped them and finally the little Daisy was born healthy. Some of my fellow classmates said he even resembles Jinho…. I don’t know why.

Talking about Jinho, he was quite clueless when he found me eating the third bowl of ice cream and watching Lovely Complex.

“You are still watching this?”

“Anime is not only for kids. And well I’ve just become an adult anyway, meaning I am still a kid. Let me be. Oh and if you go to the kitchen can you bring me the last Ben & Jerry’s? I know I shouldn’t be buying these but I just felt like having a pajama party on my own. Thanks babe. ”

“Look.” And he sat down next to me and slowly took away the Ben and Jerry’s from my hands to put it on the table. “Can we talk about today morning?”

“Sure. But what is there to talk about?”

“I hate it when you act like this. And the funny thing is that you know I do.” He smiled bitterly. I was aware of it. None of us were stupid. Well… we both were very clever to be honest. When I acted silly it was either out of fun or I was trying to hide something. Just like now.

“Okay. Sorry.”

“I feel like you are kind of disappointed in me. And I just wanted to let you know and thank you for enduring all these days and months together with me. I know that even if you don’t tell me that it is hard to tell your parents that I still didn’t make it.”

“Jinho it’s not your fault.”

“That is showbiz, I know. The only thing that hurts me is that when I started this utterly long and unpredictable journey, it was me and only me. But since then we found each other, and me failing all the time is not only an individual concern. We are a team. And I am not a good team mate. You just graduated and want to become a doctor. And I should support you.”

“Jinho you’ve already done so much for me, you can’t even imagine. And you do every single day. Even today. So, don’t just please don’t say you don’t support me, when you support me the most.”

“But then what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“Even after so many years I’ve never met your colleagues and I hardly ever meet your dad. I know you are working part-time and you are tired from doing college and your job at the same time but these parties could help you relieve stress a bit.”

“I don’t want you to meet those idiots.” And well, this was true. Not only because they would make a joke out of us, but after today I was kind of ashamed of working with those bastards.

“But I guess not all of them- oh what’s this? I am sorry babe but I need to pick this up, we will catch up on this okay?”

A producer called him. Or should I say the producer? The one who just became a dad. The one whose wife gave birth to the little Daisy in our hospital with the help of my professor. That producer. I was insanely happy. Finally, good news. I couldn’t bear anything bad any longer. But the worst was yet to come.

-|-

We were walking hand in hand on the streets. Finally, a promising audition. It was on Saturday so I could go with him to the company and show some support as I should. Once the audition was over Jinho shook hands with the producer. I could imagine them working together. I even found cute how they were both quite small.

Jinho said they would contact him later, but he had a good feeling about finally making it. I was so happy. I’ve never saw him so hopeful after an audition. When we were leaving the company there were six model like people nearing us. I was sure they just walked out of Vogue. The two most likely European girls alongside the four men suited each other very well. But not all the boys were Korean. One boy’s appearance shouted “Shanghai Prince” the other’s “Nagano Prince” but don’t ask me why. I just had this feeling.

I don’t know how Jinho felt but I was in awe. They looked stunning. Flawlessly chitchatting about a Flower Shop in the nearby. I always thought models have other topics to talk about. Well the owner of that shop must have done something very well then to become a hot topic.

“They were cool right?” He asked suddenly.

“Yeah.”

“Just wait a little longer. I will become one of them anytime soon.”

“I know.”

And I really knew that he would succeed. He was supposed to be a singer. I even imagined myself becoming his manager. I loved helping people. And I was determined about med school, but for him I could have given up on it. I knew with his music he may be curing more people in his life than me as a doctor. So after all our goal was the same.

              As we were nearing home familiar faces were getting closer. The two guys that bullied me in high school. They always had something against me. If I had red nails I was a slut if I wore a turtleneck they called me a nun. They ate my lunch, stole my notebooks etc. Same old thing. Bullies are so uncreative.  

              “Oh hi dear. Long time no see.”

              “Hi guys.” And I started to panic but wanted to grab Jinho’s hand and leave as soon as possible.

              “Hey its Saturday, why such a hurry? Knowing you, you don’t have any plans or invitations, do you?”

              “I am sorry boys, but we will be leaving.” Jinho said firmly.

              “Oh, did you see someone? I heard a voice but I don’t know where it comes from.” One of them said.

              “I don’t know man. Maybe our favorite girl can tell us.” And now they were both looking at me challengingly.

              “You guys are still not tired of the same old shit, are you?” I asked with a bored face but deep inside I was startled. I hated seeing them again, I hated the fact that even after graduation they can do this to me and Jinho as well.

              “Same old shit? Look at you. Are you talking about yourself?”

              “It was enough. Get lost.” Jinho said again.

              “It is strange I keep on hearing things but I don’t see anyone.” One said.

              “Poor girl. You should have higher expectations. Are should I say taller?” The other added. And they laughed. I was about to cry. Why is this happening to us, when finally, things seemed to become better.

              “Is he the best you could end up with? Oh god your still so low-class as you used to be… or is he not your boyfriend? Correct me if I misunderstood.”

              And that was when I fucked up. I didn’t say anything. I hesitated. There were no good answers. I knew them so well, no matter what I was about to say, they would turn it against me. But even that should have been better than this.

              “I am sorry guys, but if that’s the problem, I can tell you we are not together. Look at her. Is she someone to mess around someone like me? Definitely no. She is better than that. She has a taller, funnier and richer guy next to her. He has just entered that building at the end of the corner. I guess you both know which building I am referring to.”

              “Is that true?” They asked at the same time.

              It was our only chance to finally escape from this nightmare situation. They could stop us if they wanted any time. We were both too small to resist if they were up to something.

              “Yeah, that’s right. He works there.”

              And as if the curse was broken, they nodded with respect and were no longer blocking our way.

              “If that’s the case, we are sorry about what we said. We knew you are going to make it. And who is that lucky guy? Yanan? Shinwon? Yuto? No waaaay. Oh my god are you dating Jung Wooseok?”

              I had no clue what they were talking about, but I had this gut feeling that my dear ex-classmates became fanboys throughout the years. FANBOYS! It was ridiculous. I couldn’t help but smile out of embarrassment.

              “I am sorry, but you also know that we should respect the artist’s privacy. I cannot say more.”

              “Okay, so its Wooseok. Oh my god. He is a legend. Could you please get his autograph?”

              “I am sorry but we should get going. Jinho has- wait… Jinho?”

              “Oh the small guy? He left couple of minutes ago when it turned out you are dating Wooseok. Is he jealous by the way? He might have some feelings for you. But don’t mind him girl. You are dating the great Jung Wooseok. What else can a person ask for?”

              For a forgiving boyfriend I guess. I left these two idiots there and I started to run after Jinho as fast as I could. Did he say he is leaving I just didn’t notice? Was he upset? Did he leave something at the audition? I called him several times but I couldn’t reach him. After going back to the company and checking the possible places where we were that day I decided to finally go home. I just hoped he would be there.

-|-

              He was at home. And he didn’t seem upset. He told me to take a shower after this tiring day. It was his tiring day though. If only I had the audition today.

              We spent the afternoon calmly he was practicing and I watched a movie. The male protagonist kinda resembled the divorce lawyer’s trainee. Yang Hongseok. And wait a second, he is at the same agency where Jinho had the audition. Nice. I was so happy and excited I really hoped they will call him back with good news.

              Jinho was practicing for hours. He only did this when he was determined and wanted to prove himself before an upcoming audition or when he was hurt. I started to have a bad feeling. There isn’t any upcoming audition. Shit.

              I prepared some nice food and I cautiously knocked on his door to tell him we can have dinner. He didn’t seem angry or anything he just casually nodded and we started to eat.

              “About today… thank you for saving me. These two were always bullying me and if you weren’t next to me today I might have ended up crying and hurt again.”

              “At least YOU are not hurt.” And the way he said ‘you’ was different.

              After minutes of awkward silence he thanked for the food and was on his way to go back practicing.

              “Wait Jinho.”

              “Yeah?” He asked indifferently.

              And I couldn’t ask what I wanted.

              “There is dessert for you in the fridge.”

              “For me? Aww. That’s nice. I thought it is for someone else. Maybe for Jung Wooseok.”

              Bingo. I knew something was fishy…

“I don’t even know who that guy is. And you are well aware of this. Look, I know those two are disgusting and resentful but it was you who stopped them. It was thanks to your made up story that they finally stopped.”

“Oh right. You are so right. What if we just pretend not dating anymore? Maybe it will solve other worries too?!”

“What? Do you want to break up?”

And I saw that he kinda froze at this question. He didn’t mean it.  But if he was mentioning break up he must have been hurt for real.

“No. Of course not. This is why I was kind of avoiding you. I wanted to talk about this when I have calmed down. But fine since it’s out it can’t be helped.”

I was getting nervous. The thought of losing him was more than painful. I didn’t want to live without him. I couldn’t live without him.

“I always thought we are a great team. Even if there are things we should work on we were always open about concerns and we solved the problems together. But I am worried this situation right now is not something we can change even if we work together.”

“We can solve everything together, okay? I want to solve it. Jinho please. I understand and realize that I must have hurt you with my words. And I am so sorry about that. I never wanted to hurt you. I should have told them the truth.”

“Do you know how much happier you looked when I said you are dating this illusionary taller, funnier and richer guy? Do you realize how relieved you were when they showed you respect for dating an idol? Do you get it finally? I love you so incredibly. But this is me. Only this much. I cannot give you more. I am working hard to get there. I might be there someday. But it won’t change facts. I am Jo Jinho, I am 5.6. I don't look like a model. I don’t have money. But I love you. That’s all I can give. But I am not sure it is enough. I am no longer sure I can give you the things you need. I am not sure what I can give you is the same as you want me to give you.”

“What?”

Is this really how I behaved? Is this really how I made him feel?

“I am not saying we should break up, but I am asking you to reconsider what you want from me and from this relationship. I want you to be honest. I promise you even if you say ‘I am sorry but I only date guys above 5.8’ it will hurt and I will be broken, but I will accept it. As long as I know you made the right choice in order to be with someone who can make you happy, I will accept your decision.”

“No Jinho. You totally misunderstood. I don’t want to date anybody else. Who cares about those stupid inches?”

“You. It was only you. Always. Did you ever hear me complaining about it? This might sound cruel but I learned to accept myself and love myself in this way. And it was a hard and long journey. I won’t pretend it is only about you. I don’t want to lose this confidence. I don’t want to become that insecure man I was before. But you make me feel like someone who needs to be protected, someone who should be hidden. I don’t want to feel like this.”

“I never wanted to hurt you.” I said while my tears were falling.

“I know you never did. It was unintentional. But you’ve hurt me. I just want you to realize a lot of things can be improved and changed, but my height is not something I can modify. Please just think about it. If you still want me this way, just let me know. I would be happy to stay together.”

And he left me there. I would want to hug somebody, and I needed his presence but, I was kind of glad he didn’t see my ugly crying face.

He was so damn right. And I could totally understand the way he felt. If you love someone you shouldn’t make them feel like trash. And it was always and only me who had those concerns. The rumors spread by the colleagues and my dad’s stupid words. I am not sure how I really felt. Maybe I was just influenced by them but I was worried I might have cared too much about his height.

Everything was up to me now. He was waiting for my answer. Even after I hurt him so bad, he didn’t want to break up. It was up to me to choose an average life with a divorce lawyer’s trainee type of guy, or choose a different type of life with him. A life with Jo Jinho.

-|-

We’ve slept separately. It was better this way. I was suffering alone but it just made me realize how much I needed his presence, how much I wanted to see his face when I woke up and how badly I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me.

I prepared a nice breakfast. I wanted to clear things as soon as possible, but food is important too. Kids, don’t forget to eat breakfast!

“Hi! Good morning!”

“Good morning! Wow. So many nice dishes. Is this a compensation?”

“It’s an ‘I am sorry for being a bad girlfriend’.”

“Oh thank god it’s not an ‘I am sorry for breaking up with you’.” He said with a smile. But I couldn’t laugh at it. I know he was hurt. And him trying to make a joke out of it meant that he was hurt more than he showed.

“I am not gonna leave you Jinho.”

“I am sorry I didn’t mean it.”

“Look. I… I… messed up okay? I understand that even if I had good intentions I’ve hurt your feelings. But I think we can solve this too. I wanted to say thank you for finally saying what I should have heard. The thing is that you were right. I was the one obsessed with your height. And the saddest is that not specifically because of you. I thought if I am almost as tall as you I can not be a fragile, small woman. I wanted to be smaller, I wanted to be the one who needs to be protected. And I couldn’t accept myself in this way. I didn’t see me the way I wanted.”

“I wish you would see yourself with my eyes just to understand how beautiful you are.”

“I am sorry to make you feel bad when I was the one who couldn’t love myself. If you could help me to accept myself as you did back then, I think we would be able to stay together. And if you still love me I wouldn’t want anything more than this. I want nothing less and nothing more than you, Jo Jinho.”

-|-

Magic Bra. I was raising my eyebrows. Did she really make a successful business with such a company name? But when I checked on the internet the reviews were praising her insanely.

Lucy_1127 wrote: I was invisible before. But when my longtime best friend saw me in this red bra, he finally realized we were supposed to be together. I love this bra. It is indeed magical. My only regret is that it is more times on the floor than on me. (Moderators please don’t erase my comment *begs*)

Hoetaekie828 wrote: when the owner told me that this lingerie has magical power I was sceptic. I am 27 you know. I don’t believe in fairytales anymore. But when I saw her (my back then best friend now girlfriend)... Wow! She was indeed a beautiful princess from a fairytale. Since than I couldn’t thank the owner lady enough. We are regulars at the shop. I totally recommend it for couples, and for those friends who are shy to admit the truth.

              Jinho didn’t tell me why I got this. He just told me this is a gift from him to me and also a part of our therapy. We didn’t apply for real therapy. But we agreed to rebuild our trust and change things. As a first step he told me to wear these. I was kind of surprised. Jinho wasn’t really a shy type but we were both so stressed recently, having a time dedicated to ourselves was so rare like a leap year.

              When I put on the ‘magic bra’ I checked myself in the mirror. I wasn’t totally satisfied but I looked so different in these. I finally saw someone who is brave and confident. For the first time I thought if I work a bit harder, not only on my body and carrier but on my behavior and inner values, I might become someone who is worth of Jinho’s love. I really hoped so.

              “Okay, so where is my lovely and concerned girlfriend who cannot see herself as a fragile, feminine woman? Because I only see a stunning, confident lady here. I am sorry miss, but even if it is so hard to send you off I will have to ask you to leave because I already have someone closed in my heart.” He said when he suddenly appeared behind my back. Our eyes met in the mirror.

              “Oh is that so? That’s a shame then. Are you sure she wouldn’t allow this one? As long as you are happy I think she wouldn’t mind it.”

              “Do you think so? Am I that kind of lucky guy? Well… let me see.” And he is seductive gaze was wandering all over my body. “No. I cannot do that to her I am sorry.”

              “Why not? Is she so nice?”

              “Yeah. She is a precious someone to me. And I promised something to myself. I wanted to show her how beautiful she is. I need to keep that promise. So even if your affair offer is very tempting I have to say no.”

              “What a pity. I think she doesn’t even know how lucky she is… Is she more beautiful than me? That can’t be true. Mister you must be lying.”

              “No, I am not. I love her and she is beautiful. What if I prove you?”

              “Fine. If you prove me than I’ll be leaving and won’t seduce you. If you don’t prove me you’ll have to have an affair with me.”

              “Okay.”

              “So, how will you prove me?”

              “Just look at yourself in the mirror.”

And even if I was confident pretending to be another lady for fun looking at myself in the mirror while he was watching me from behind was kind of embarrassing.

              “You know my girlfriend is a bit insecure and even if I tell her she won’t trust me when I say she is beautiful. You have some similarities. You both are stubborn and don’t trust my words… bad girls…”

              And I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. He was cute. I was grateful. And I loved him incredibly.

              “So, for example if I would say I love how she puts her hair behind her ears she would be like: but it is nothing special.”

              And as he said it he put my hair behind my ears and put a soft kiss on my neck. And then looked back at me in the mirror. And I started to get the taste of this whole thing. He was so freaking hot. He decided to show me how he loved each and every part of my body. He put soft kisses on my shoulders and wrapped his arms around my waist without taking his eyes off of me. And this excited me. For the first time I realized it was really not about being small or tall, fragile or not. He loved me and I loved him back. And we were perfect for each other just the way we were.

-|-

              “Sorry but could you please go to the hall? Someone passed out. Oh god these fans these days…”

              “Sure, I’ll be there in a sec.”

              It wasn’t the first time in this week. Fans were crazy about him. And it was good to see that he finally received this much of love after working hard for his dream for the past years.

“I am here. How can I help? Where is the patient?”

“He is here.”

“You two?” I asked a bit shocked.

“Oh! Our favorite girl. Please save him!” Member 1 of the bully duo said. I am sorry but after what they’ve done to me throughout these years I don’t bother calling them on their names…

I just gave him first aid and after he woke up I made sure he is fine.

“You’ll be fine now.”

“Oh my goodness. Thank you. You saved him.”

“You saved me. Thank you. I have never thought one day you’ll be saving my life.”

“Trust me, this is not something I’ve expected either. But what are you two doing here?”

“We are fans!”

“I am sorry to let you down but Wooseok is not present today. This is Jinho’s solo concert…” I said a bit offended.

“Silly. We knooow. We came to support him.” They said.

“Oh, if that’s the case… I am glad. I think he would be happy to see your faces. But promise me you won’t faint in front of him okay?”

“Yes doctor!”

“Good.”

“Also… we are sorry… for everything.”

And I just nodded. I was happy that they apologized even if it happened after so many years later. But in a way I was happy that we met them on that day. I guess I needed to meet them to realize being critical about beauty is just so unnecessary. Beauty is so subjective, and is not only about visuals and heights. And when I looked back on Jinho talking happily with his fans signing the albums, I knew that in my eyes he was the most beautiful person, and nothing else mattered.

[chaoticdisater]

Red white & royal Blue Favourite quotes

“How many times do I have to tell Y’all not to discuss your murder plots in front of a sitting president” their mother interrupts “Plausible deniability. Come on” (Pg 64) 

I don't know WHO you think you're kidding, you Hufflepuff-ass bitch, (Alex to henry over text pg 69) 

“‘put the turkeys in my room’  ‘No.’ ‘put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room -’  later that night as Alex stares into the cold pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets” (Alex and his mother Pg 76) 

“’he- Oi! Not for you Mr.wobbles! those are mine!’ more rustling and a distant offended Meow, ‘no, Mr. wobbles you bastard!’” (Henry at his sister's cat, pg 80) 

“Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM  yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH prince Dickhead  I BEG YOU TO NOT “ (Henry and Alex over text Pg 84) 

“’ the options Id like...’ he says dragging the words out. ‘they don't quite seem to be options at all’” (Henry Pg 107) 

“’ christ you're a thick as it gets’ he says and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.” (Henry Pg 107) 

“‘Seventy-eight percent probability of latent Bi-sexual tendencies. one hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question’” (Nora pg 118) 

“‘am I? do you think I'm Bi?’  ‘I can't tell you that Alex!’ she says ‘that's the whole point!’” (Alex and Nora Pg121)

“she slants a look at him ‘is this a diabolical scheme of seduction?’ she asks ‘if so, yes.’“ (Nora Pg 130) 

“Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes henry onto it so hes sitting with his back against - Alex looks up and almost breaks into a deranged laugh - a portrait of alexander hamilton.” (Pg 132) 

“‘im going to die’ henry says helplessly.  ‘im going to kill you,’ Alex tells him.” (Henry and Alex pg 133) 

‘”and if you fucking ghost me again, I'm going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it’” (Alex at henry pg 134) 

“worst of all, Henry is good“ (Alex's thoughts on henry playing Polo Pg 147) 

“’I’m gonna go, Uh’ Alex says ‘say hi to henry’ Amy's mouth settles into a grim line ‘Please don't elaborate’ ‘Yeah I know’ Alex says ‘plausible deniability’” (Alex and Amy Pg 148) 

‘A <agcd@eclare45.com>  to Henry  his royal highness prince of whatever,  Don't make me learn your actual title’ (Alex’s email to henry Pg 152) 

‘Henry <hwales@kensingtonemail.com>  to A Alex, first son of inappropriately timed Emails when I’m in early morning meetings’ (Henry’s email to Alex Pg 155) 

“when he shows up to a briefing two days later Zahra grabs his jaw with one hand and turns his head, peering closer at the side of his neck. ‘is that a Hickey’ Alex freezes. ‘I . . . um, no?’” (Zahra and Alex pg 162) 

“‘Do you have a last name?’ Alex has never actually offered a greeting when calling Henry  ‘What?’ the usual bemused elongated one-syllable response” (163 Alex and henry over the phone) 

“‘Baby’ its become a thing: Baby he knows it’s become a thing. hes slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time, Henry positively melts” (Alex Pg 166) 

“‘I miss you,’ Alex says before he can stop himself he instantly regrets ut but henry says. ‘I miss you too’” (pg 173) 

“she flung her arm out emphatically enough to upset an entire potted cactus on her dresser and says ‘Because until now you weren't fucking the prince of England’” (June pg 177)  

“‘you should try saying some of that stuff to Him’  ‘stop trying to Jane Austen my life’” (June and Alex Pg 180) 

“’ is now a good time to point out henrys very hot Very rich best friend is basically in love with you?’ Alex says to June ‘hes like some kind of billionaire genius manic-pixie-dream philanthropist. I feel like you would be into that.’ ‘Please shut up,’” (Alex and June Pg 182)  

“‘yes, yes, Pez, we know there's nothing you cant do,’ says henrys voice off-camera ‘no need to rub it in’“ (henry Pg 184) 

“‘oh I haven't had vodka since uni,’ henry says ‘it tends to make me erm, well-’ ‘flamboyant?’ Pez offers. ‘uninhibited? randy?’  ‘Fun?’ Bea suggests  ‘Excuses you, I am loads of fun all the time! I am a Delight’“ (Henry Bea and Pez pg 190)

“’yes Beatrice, we shall behave in a manner befitting the crown,’ henry says. his eyes are slightly crossed ‘don't be a tosser’“ (Henry and bea Pg 195) 

“He likes taking henry apart but there's something incredibly intantament about sitting on the bed they wrecked the night before, the only one who watches him create Prince Henry of Wales for the day.” (Pg 200) 

“‘So this is the gang now, huh?’  and through it all, Alex realizes with a start: he has friends now.” (Cash pg 201) 

“How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose?” (Henrys email to Alex pg 203) 

“yours in sexual frustration  Henry” (henrys email to Alex pg 206) 

“once again, how had he ever convinced himself he was straight,” (Alex pg 213) 

“‘just so we’re clear,’ Alex said ‘Im about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like that's what's happening?’“ (Alex pg 217) 

“your Brave I could use some of that” (Pg 218) 

“Because that's what he would do if he were here in this palace to fall in love Henry” (Pg 220) 

“Zahra doesnt even look up from her phone ‘that was my boyfriend and no, you may not ask me any further questions about him’” (Zahra Pg 223) 

“If he’s some anonymous normal person removed from history he’s twenty-two and he’s tipsy and he’s pulling a guy into his hotel room by the belt loop. He’s pulling a lip between his teeth and he fumbling behind his back to switch on a lamp and he’s thinking I like this person”  (Pg 228)

“You still are. Because you still bloody care so much.” He leans down and presses a kiss into Alex’s hair. “And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time but you’re good” (Henry Pg 230)

“’Seriously?’ She hisses ‘your literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state who is a man at the biggest political event before the election in a hotel full of reporters in a city full of cameras in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams and you’re asking me not to tell the president about it?’” (Zarha pg 233)

“The next slide is titled EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE ENGLAND? she apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles Alex activity wishes for the sweet release of death” (Pg 237)

“History huh? I bet we could make some.” (Alex’s email to henry Pg 241)

“The pair of you share and an alarming number of traits by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c,” (herny’s email to Alex Pg 242)

“Regards Haplessly romantic heretic prince henry the utterly daft” (henrys email to Alex pg 243)

“‘It’s math,’ Nora says ‘Math has no authority here,’ June tells her ‘Math is everywhere June’” (Nora and June Pg 247)

“Henry is tipsy and shirtless and attempting to referee” (pg 252)

“’Some times you just jump and hope it’s not a chiff’” (Alex dad Pg 256)

“Well, Alex is so in love he could die.” (Pg 257)

“He’s been falling in love with Henry for years probably since he first saw him in glossy print on the pages of j14 almost definitely since Henry pinned Alex to the floor of a medical supply closet and told him to shut the hell up.” (Pg 257)

“’Fuck off five nine is average’” (Pg 258)

“’H?’ He whispers ‘you awake?’ Henry sighs ‘always.’” ( Pg 260)

“He’s got a distinct feeling of something being pulled out of his hands right before he could grasp it.” (Pg 263)

“something rises in Alex's throat - anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry” (Pg 270) 

“’Fuck I swear you don’t make it fucking easy but I’m in love with you’” (Alex Pg 271)

“’I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back’” (Henry pg 273)

“He’s in Henry’s face now if he’s getting his heart broken tonight he’s sure as hell going to make Henry have the guts to do it right ‘tell me you're done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. that's it. and you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it, whatever just say it’” (274)

“He’s in stupid unbearable love and Henry loves him too and at least for one night it matters, even if they both have to pretend to forget in the morning” (Pg 275)

“He tells his too fast brain: don’t miss this time he’s too important” (Alexs thoughts Pg 275)

“henry’s hands-on him are unhurried and soft and they make out lazily for hours or days.” (Pg 280) 

“Alex sighs ‘i don't think I told you but she uh. well, when she fired me she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent serious about you. I need to break things off.’  Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear ‘a thousand percent?’” (Alex and Henry Pg 282) 

“‘Diaz you insane hopeless romantic little shit’ says the voice of the president of the united states, muffled in the bed ‘it had better be forever. Be safe’“ (Pg 284) 

“hes cut off mid-sentence because Alex has stopped in the middle of the corridor and yanked him backwards into a kiss” (pg 286) 

“’its funny’ henry says ‘i always thought of the whole thing as the most unforgivable thing about me but you act like its one of the best’“ (henry Pg 289) 

“he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. they click together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side” (Pg 291) 

“I opened my blasted mouth and said ‘because I'm not like the rest of the men in this family beginning with the fact that I'm am very deeply gay Philip’  once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier Philip had quite a few words for me,” (Henry’s emails to Alex Pg 298) 

“just leaving, not coming back. maybe burning something down on the way out. it would be nice.” (henrys emails to Alex pg 299)

“I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire” (henrys emails to Alex (describing how he felt when he first saw Alex) Pg 300) 

“20. the fact that you have loved me all along.” (alex’s email to henry (the list of things alex loves about henry) Pg 303) 

“‘Oh my god Z what is That? did you get engaged?’  Zahra looks down at the ring and shrugs. ‘i had the week-end off’” (June and Zahra pg 305)

“’you and me and history, remember? were just gonna fucking fight. because your it okay? Im never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you,’“ (Alex pg 312) 

“‘I swear to god if you say I'm too young I'm gonna lose my shit,’“ (Alex pg 315) 

“What did he do ‘be more specific’“ (Alex to Zahra pg 321 ) 

“’the president is sitting down with as many members of the office of communitcs we could drag out of bed at three in the morning’” (Zahra Pg 323) 

“‘pack a bag’ she says ‘we’re going to londan’” (Zahra Pg 334)

“she (Zarha) seems confident Shaan will agree to it and willing to physically overpower him if not.” (pg 334) 

“still the cocky shit head part of him is slightly pleased to finally have claim on henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent face like a greek god, legs for days? Mine” (Pg 336) 

“‘youre giving my ulcer an ulcer’“ (Zahra pg 336) 

“‘Im running on nothing but black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my directrion,’“ (Zahra Pg 339) 

“He leans up and kisses the underside of his jaw, finding it rough from a full fitful day,” (pg 340)

“‘What kind of family, that says we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, well scrub it up nice and neat in a museum but oh no you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum’” (Henry pg 347)

“Bea seizes the pot of tea from the center of the table and dumps it into his lap ‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry Pip’ she says grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him sputtering and yelping toward the door ‘so deardfully clumsy, you know I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my refexes!’” (Bea pg 357)

“Henry pulls Alex close and kisses him whispers, ‘I love you I love you I love you’ and it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if anyone sees.” (Pg 358)

And that’s when I gave up I do have more but well I didn’t want to make this list any more

[asmolbirb]

Pairing: Geralt/Jaskier Rating: T Word count: ~2500

Jaskier doesn’t start on the sweeter ballads until after he’s eaten his dinner and enjoyed a mug of ale. By then, the last vestiges of daylight have given way to inky darkness shot through with stars, and the innkeeper has stoked the fire to a roaring inferno, and the kind of lazy contentedness that accompanies a full belly has settled over the locals like a blanket, all of this working to create a decidedly more receptive audience for tender tales of lost love and distant adventure. So Jaskier looks around and notes how the conversation has dulled, and he begins picking out chords and runs, starting simple and working his way to more melancholy melodies.

He gets “Toss a Coin” out of the way early. It’s a crowd-pleaser and guaranteed to recoup the cost of his supper—and Geralt’s, when the Witcher deigns to join him—at least twice over. He fumbles his way through a couple of local ballads he’s still learning, about old spirits and familiar legends, and he tells the poeticized tale of a kikimora Geralt recently dispatched. And then, to end of his performance, he indulges himself with one of his more wistful ballads about love and heartbreak.

He has an alarmingly robust collection of those, and he rotates through them: the bittersweet lament about a love that slipped out of his reach; the tragic tale of the woman with no smile; the ode to the muse whose quick wit enthralled him only to leave him desolate, yearning, utterly alone. These ballads are too forlorn to see frequent use, but Jaskier has a soft spot for them. They tell his own story, after all. It’s cathartic to lose himself in the movement of his fingers across the strings of his lute, the plaintive runs that bookend his choruses. And the ballads have the added bonus of occasionally attracting a barmaid sympathetic to his plight and willing to help him forget his sorrows.

By the time he and Geralt pay for a room in a town where the air is sticky with humidity and sharp with the faint scent of seawater, it’s been more than a month since his last tumble with an eager barmaid, and Jaskier is thrumming with excess energy. He works his way through three ballads that night before noticing he’s picked up an audience.

“She must have stolen your heart quite thoroughly,” says one of the women lingering near Jaskier and Geralt when Jaskier finally shakes himself out of his trance, “to have inspired three ballads.”

“She is the beauty of my world,” Jaskier agrees. He begins packing up his lute; he’s indulged himself enough tonight. “My ballads capture only a fraction of her splendor.”

“Tell us about her, then,” says a barmaid, and the rest of Jaskier’s audience sends up a chorus of agreement. “She’s a lucky woman to have caught your attention.”

Geralt, who has been silent until now, snorts. “Yes, Jaskier, tell us. I can’t wait to hear about the fair lady who has caught your eye,” he says dryly, and it’s only because Jaskier is now fluent in Geralt’s sparse manner of speaking that he hears the words Geralt isn’t saying, hears you’ve been on the road with me for a month, how will you spin your way out of this?

Jaskier meets Geralt’s gaze without flinching. He grins slightly, casts his eyes over his captive audience, all hanging off his every word. “I’m not one to kiss and tell,” he begins, affecting wistfulness, “but she deserves to be told about.” Minding his pronouns, he continues, “She’s incredible. The kindest soul I’ve ever met. Her nobility is unparalleled. She would never leave a debt unpaid, nor a soul in harm’s way. She is unafraid to face any danger, be it a dragon or a man sick with corruption.”

He catches Geralt’s eye again, but the other man doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss. He lets Geralt’s lack of reaction embolden him. “She doesn’t say much. It is my punishment, I suppose, for barging into her life the way I did, that I must interpret her moods from her expressions alone.” He sighs dramatically, letting his eyelids flutter and his lips fall into a besotted smile. “But how exquisite those expressions are, and how I delight in coaxing them upon her face.”

“To hell with that sappy bullshit,” says one of the women sitting near him. “You speak in metaphors enough in your ballads. What does she look like? Is she noble or a commoner?”

Jaskier swallows. Involuntarily, he glances at Geralt, but the Witcher only looks amused, still waiting for Jaskier’s lies to fall apart. Jaskier understands his amusement. From Geralt’s perspective, Jaskier hasn’t properly courted a woman since the Countess de Stael.

Just as well for Jaskier, then, that Geralt hasn’t yet figured out the true object of his affections. “She’s fair-haired,” he says now to his audience. “With locks that reflect the sun like a thousand mirrors, and eyes golden as honeycombs. Taller than me, but with hips as slender as any child’s. And a bottom round as an apple,” he throws in with a cheeky wink. “She isn’t a noble, but she’s no commoner, either. She isn’t the type to sit back and let others do her work for her. She is strong—stronger than I, that’s for certain.” And he has to pause here as he remembers the way Geralt has thrown him over shoulder, has hauled him across terrain both rough and smooth with naught more than a grip on his collar. He swallows shakily, wills himself not to look at Geralt, though he can see out of his periphery that Geralt is staring at him now, intently, brow furrowed, lips thinned. Nonetheless, Jaskier continues digging his grave. Can’t leave his audience waiting, of course. 

“She isn’t one for tender touches,” he admits. “But still, she tolerates mine. I confess, I often wonder why she allows me to grace her side.”

“Perhaps you offer a nocturnal performance worth suffering the rest,” suggests one of the barmaids, and the others cackle in agreement. Jaskier simply shrugs. 

“Perhaps,” he acknowledges. Unable to help himself, he sneaks another glance toward Geralt, only to find Geralt’s intense glare trained directly on him. Try as he might, Jaskier can’t tear his eyes away. “Perhaps she keeps me around as a bedwarmer,” he continues slowly, his eyes locked on Geralt’s, “until she finds someone who is sweeter than me, or until she grows tired of my antics. Perhaps I am naught but temporary entertainment. But I adore her, truly. The sight of her is as water to a man lost in a desert, and her touch is softer than the finest Toussaintian silk.”

Geralt growls at that. He stands up abruptly, his chair skidding across the floor with a screech. “Say good night, Jaskier,” he rumbles, his eyes narrowed. “We have business of our own to attend to.”

Jaskier swallows. Finally, he looks away, back at his enraptured audience. “That’s enough for tonight, I suppose,” he concedes good-naturedly. “You’ll have to wait for the next ballad to hear more, though it won’t be long until I write it. My lady is too exquisite to keep her name from my lips for long.”

Geralt’s voice rumbles again, wordlessly, before Jaskier can get lost in his own words again. He claps a large hand on Jaskier’s shoulder, using it to steer him toward the stairs and their room. “Sweet dreams, ladies!” Jaskier calls over his shoulder, doffing his hat clumsily. “May you be luckier in love than I!”

Geralt doesn’t slam the door behind him, but it’s a near thing, and Jaskier would wince in sympathy if Geralt’s hand wasn’t still bearing down on his shoulder, rooting him in place. Geralt lets go after a moment and leans against the door, his arms crossed in typical Geraltian fashion. Jaskier collapses onto the bed, taking the opportunity to roll his shoulder a few times in exaggerated discomfort. “I swear I end up with more bruises than you do sometimes,” he complains. “I understand misery loves company, but perhaps next time you feel the urge to rough someone up, you could find another monster. Plenty of those around, and frankly, we could do with the extra coin, seeing as someone kept me from buttering up the crowd to fatten our purses tonight—”

“There’s no lady,” Geralt says.

Jaskier trails off. “Well, of course not,” he says instead. “I imagine a woman would take grave offense to the frequency with which we give our patronage to brothels, not to mention your unseemly habit of bathing in monster blood and other revolting gunk.” He wrinkles his nose. “Perhaps I should write an ode to your masterful powers of observation next.”

“But you were talking about a woman tonight,” Geralt continues, ignoring Jaskier entirely. He tries not to take offense to that. Something tells him that any protest he offers will be utterly disregarded. “The same one your ballads are about, the one who broke your heart and left you wanting.”

Warmth blooms, unbidden, in Jaskier’s heart. Geralt has been listening to his songs. Geralt remembers his lyrics. Geralt knows enough about Jaskier’s lyrics to notice the details consistent through them all.

Geralt knows Jaskier is in love.

The warmth transforms instantly into a spear of ice, chilly tendrils spreading through Jaskier’s chest and pulsing through his veins even as he says, with false cheer, “They’re stories, Geralt. Hyperbole. I’m a poet. It’s what I do. Heartbreak is a universal emotion, and the gods know I’ve experienced it often enough in my short time upon this mortal coil. I could write songs about heartbreak in my sleep—and just you watch, I’ll be doing it tonight, you’ve really dug your own grave with this, my friend.”

“Hm,” Geralt grunts. He pushes off the door and stalks towards Jaskier, stopping just inches from the bed and forcing Jaskier to crane his neck to keep looking Geralt in the eye. Briefly, Jaskier considers climbing to his feet as well, to be on even ground with Geralt. However, doing so would place him chest-to-chest with the other man, and that isn’t something Jaskier can physically handle right now. So he stays put, his heart hammering wildly against his rib cage, and he’s certain Geralt, with his enhanced hearing, must be deafened by the sound.

“Someone once told me,” Geralt starts slowly, “that all good stories stem from a kernel of truth. So either your stories are shit, or you aren’t telling me the truth. Which is it, Jaskier?”

And here’s the problem with traipsing across the Continent behind a Witcher like a lost puppy, Jaskier reflects. He’s experienced a lifetime of adventure and filled uncountable notebooks with lyrics and learned more about Geralt than possibly any other being on the planet. But then, Geralt has had ample opportunity to peer into Jaskier’s soul, too. It’s easy to get caught up in Geralt’s brawn, and his stony silence, and his aversion to emotional commitment. It’s easy to forget how perceptive Geralt can be.

“The former, obviously,” quips Jaskier, a little breathlessly, a little too quietly. He wants to look away, wants to find an escape route, but Geralt is magnetic. Jaskier could drown in those golden eyes. And all the while he’s still running his mouth, trying to stave off the inevitable. “I’m all pie crust and no filling, didn’t you know? It’s a wonder I manage to earn enough to pay for a warm meal and a bed at the end of the day. That’s why I keep you around, actually. For your income. Certainly not for the riveting conversation. Certainly not because I—because I need you.”

“And yet,” Geralt murmurs, reaching out to tip Jaskier’s chin up with a single knuckle, “here we are.”

When did Jaskier’s mouth get so dry? He licks his lips, watches Geralt’s eyes dip down to track the motion. “Here we are.”

Jaskier doesn’t know whether to close his eyes to give Geralt implicit consent or leave them open to track every emotion crossing Geralt’s face, doesn’t know whether to lean into Geralt’s touch or pull away and offer Geralt an out. Instead he waits, pulse racing, teetering on the edge of a cliff, waiting for the slightest gust of wind to send him careening into freefall.

And it comes: a shallow breath against his lips, before Geralt’s mouth is covering his, stealing a kiss and Jaskier’s breath in one fell swoop. He doesn’t pull back, doesn’t give Jaskier a chance to collect himself before he’s surging in again, teeth tugging gently at Jaskier’s lips and coaxing a gasp from him, tongue pushing past the moment Jaskier’s lips part. It’s heady and intoxicating, and Jaskier can feel his mind going fuzzy as he focuses solely on matching Geralt’s intensity.

Somehow they end up horizontal, with Jaskier’s feet still dangling off the edge of the bed and Geralt on his hands and knees above Jaskier. Geralt presses close, his weight pinning Jaskier down, and Jaskier thinks there’s no place he would rather be than right here, Geralt’s thighs bracketing his, falling into a sweet messy rhythm that has Jaskier arching his back and scrabbling uselessly at Geralt’s broad torso and keening into Geralt’s mouth. Eventually he gives in and tosses his head back, opening his neck to Geralt’s ministrations and giving himself over entirely to the quicksilver pleasure coursing through him.

Once they’ve stilled and caught their breath, Geralt moves just far enough to drag Jaskier fully onto the bed and no further. He continues stealing sweet kisses, seemingly determined to swallow all the air from Jaskier’s lungs before letting him go.

“You’re not temporary entertainment,” Geralt rumbles an eternity later against Jaskier’s lips, their breath mingling. Jaskier revels in that simple phrase and the intimate action that accompanied it, feels his blood singing with the knowledge that Geralt reciprocates his feelings, might want Jaskier as a permanent fixture by his side—until Geralt continues, “You’ve never been entertaining.”

“Oi, fuck off!” Jaskier gasps in mock indignation. He pushes himself away and braces a hand against Geralt’s chest to keep him at arm’s length. “You weren’t complaining about my performance just now!”

But Geralt is laughing quietly, his whole body shaking against Jaskier’s, and Jaskier lets himself be pulled back into Geralt’s arms, lets Geralt kiss his anger away. His last thought before he launches a campaign to make Geralt regret his words is an apology to the women he’d been singing to in the tavern below; his next ballad may be a long time coming yet.

[aurora-australis-tumbles]

Hi there :) I loved your soulmate short fic! Do you still take requests for the short fic ask? If so: 22 and Phrack, please :) If not, that's totally fine!

Of course! Here you go! (also for Anonymous who asked for the same number)

Hope you enjoy it!

two miserable people meeting at a wedding au

---------------------

“Excuse me, I think that’s mine.”

Phryne pointed in irritation at the plate on the table and, more specifically, the sugary confection upon it. It was bad enough that the caterers hadn’t provided enough cake for everyone, but what really irked her was that even after she’d managed to heroically snag the last slice, she’d still somehow wound up empty handed.

Well, no, not “somehow.”

She knew exactly how.

The photographer had asked to take her photo and she’d put it down for one second and this...this… THIEF had swooped in to steal it. Luckily she’d tracked him down before he’d managed to take his first filched bite.

“Sorry?”

He looked so confused at the accusation she graciously amended her assessment — this daft man had swooped in to steal it.

“That’s my cake,” she told him. “I put it down. You picked it up. I’d like it back now.” The man’s eyes darted between her and the dessert, a doleful expression on his handsome face, and her ire softened. Slightly.

“Uh, yes… yes of course.”

He started to hand it to her, but instead of taking the cake, Phryne took the seat next to him. With one hand resting on the very edge of the plate, she offered the stranger a smile.

“Ok, don’t take this the wrong way, but, quite frankly, you look miserable.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Do I?”

“You do. You look miserable, and I know I am, so I’ll make you a deal — saddest story gets the slice.”

His lips turned down in an expression she took to mean thoughtfulness, before he nodded. “Deal.” Then he made a little “go ahead” motion with his hand, before putting it on the other side of the plate in a mirror image of Phryne's. “Ladies first.”

“Well,” Phryne began, “I’m here with my assistant who begged me to be her date so she wouldn’t have to go alone, who has since abandoned me to flirt all night with some man she met at the coat check. Really at this point she’s dropped so many hints I’m surprised he hasn't made a move yet.” Phryne pointed across the room at Dot, who was currently deep in conversation with a handsome young man who was hanging on her every word. The gentleman next to her chuckled, and Phryne shot him a questioning look.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “I just know him. And honestly he might not even have realized she’s flirting.”

“Well be that as it may, I’m now all alone at a wedding where I know absolutely no one and all the people I’ve tried to talk to have either been too drunk or too tedious to hold my attention.” She shot him a smile. “Present company excluded.” Phryne put a little more pressure on the plate, and started pulling it towards herself. “So you see I clearly win.”

“The bride is my ex-wife.”

Phryne’s surprise caused her to lose her grip on the plate and it skittered towards him.

“Oh.” Her eyes involuntarily found the happy couple, smiling at each other across the room, and then flew back to the man. “Oh. And you’re…” She lowered her voice. “You’re still in love with her?”

The man jerked his head up in surprise. “What? No. No. That’s not... “ He sighed. “The split was very amicable, and several years ago, and I’m happy to say we’ve remained good friends.” He waved around the room. “Hence the invitation tonight.”

“But…” Phryne supplied, helping him along.

“But…” He glanced over at a group of people two tables away who caught his look and glared back. “Some people need every story to have a villain and her family seem to have cast me in the role. It’s been a ... tense night.” He shrugged at her, a little awkwardly and not just a little sad. “So... I get cake.”

Phryne watched him, saw the hint of melancholy in his eyes with just a dash of guilt and wondered if maybe a small part of him had assigned himself that role as well, though her instincts screamed that if so he’d been woefully miscast.

Well... that wouldn’t do.

She put her hand back on the plate. “Absolutely not.” He looked up at her in surprise and she shook her head. “You’ve managed to remain friends with your former wife, who, if my assistant is to be believed, is a very lovely and sensible woman. That she asked you to be here today says quite a lot about you both. You’re doing fine. I, on the other hand, am all alone and missing an exhibit opening at the Gertrude.”

He raised an eyebrow at her assessment, but there was a smile hiding in the corner of his mouth.

“Well…” He pulled the plate closer to him again. “Possession is 9/10 of the law.”

She snorted. “Yes, well, I work with a lot of lawyers, and that’s bullshit. But I’m feeling magnanimous, so we can split it.”

He did that downturned lip thing again, which she realized now was a kind of smile, and nodded. “I think I could cope with that. But I draw the line at not knowing who I’m sharing with.”

She reached over with her hand. “Phryne Fisher.”

“Jack Robinson.”

“Well Jack… bon appétit.”

They both dug in with gusto, though one more than the other — Jack was in fact making some very evocative noises she didn’t think he even realized he was making. She hid a smile behind her fork.

“So… what do you do when you’re not being miserable at weddings?”

“For work or play?” he asked.

“Start with work and we’ll see how long the cake lasts.”

He chuckled. “Fair enough. I’m an Inspector with the Victoria Police Force.”

“Ah. Then you’re well aware that 9/10 of the law bit is bullshit.”

“I am but I wanted cake.”

Phryne laughed and took another bite. She was just about to ask what he did for play when he was engulfed from behind by a cloud of white.

“Jack! I’m so happy you’re here!” She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then looked over, took in the two forks on the one plate, and positively beamed. “And with a date! Oh that’s wonderful. I couldn’t believe it when you said you’d be attending alone.”

Phryne looked between the bride and Jack and noticed that the tips of his ears were turning red. Poor man. He really was having quite a night. Phryne watched him, could see how much he didn’t want to lie, but a man has his pride and Phryne thought this man might have actually earned his. She reached over to shake hands with the bride and save him.

“Phryne Fisher. Lovely to meet you. The ceremony was beautiful, by the way.”

“Thank you so much! And that dress is gorgeous. I hope you plan to show it off on the dance floor later.” She leaned in conspiratorially towards Phryne, though of course Jack could hear. “I was a little worried Jack would be spending all his time in the game room tonight.”

Jack perked up at that. “There’s a game room?”

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Yes. Michael insisted on it. For his friends mostly.” She indicated a door towards the back of the ballroom. “I tell you, I love my husband, but he is a nerd. Seems I have a type.” She winked and Phryne laughed. “Speaking of my husband, I should go find him. Wonderful meeting you, Phryne. Remember - dance floor!”

At that, the bride moved off towards the dais, but Jack’s eyes turned towards the game room. Phryne took her last bite of cake — Jack’s was long gone — and pursed her lips.

“You know…” she said, drawing his attention back to her. “I always keep an emergency Cherry Ripe in my purse at these things. In case I don’t like the food.” He looked at her questioningly and she continued. “I could be persuaded to play you for for it.”

He smiled, a sort of lopsided thing she found oddly endearing, and gestured to the room. “You’re on.”

They spent the next hour and a half in there, playing Checkers, then Chess, then Battleship, and finally Connect 4.

The time flew, though, in good conversation and light-hearted ribbing and a growing and unusual ease neither was expecting. It went so fast, in fact, that Phryne was quite surprised when they heard the announcement for the last dance.

She looked at the door at the same time Jack did. He coughed. “Should we… only because Rosie seemed — ”

“Oh, yes. Yes of course. Lead the way.”

It was a slow song, of course, and at first Phryne felt a little awkward, though she didn’t know why; she danced with relative strangers all the time. But Jack held her so… it was an almost impossible combination of respectful and intimate and she found that she wanted more of it.

The song ended, but they didn’t part. Not right away. Not until the lights came up and then they did, quickly, like they’d been caught out.

Perhaps they had.

Jack gave her an embarrassed smile, then pointed questioningly towards the exit. He walked her back to the coat check, passing her assistant and that young man speaking very low and close in an alcove, then to the front door and out onto the sidewalk.

Jack cleared his throat. “Do you need a ride?”

“No, I’m fine. And I’ll be needing to go in to collect my assistant shortly anyway, though I doubt she’ll thank me for it.” She glanced up at Jack, a flirtatious look in her eye.

“Would you like my number?” she asked him. “Just in case you ever need a date to one of these things again?”

He gave her a wry smile. “Well I only have the one ex-wife.”

“I see.” Phryne was a little surprised she’d misread that one, but it happened. Pity, though… she would have liked to hear those cake noises in a different context.

Jack continued. “But I wouldn’t mind a battleship rematch. I’m fairly certain you were cheating at the end there.” She gave a little indignant huff and he laughed, then unlocked his mobile and handed it to her.

Phryne put in her number and handed it back to him, but as she did, Jack took her hand and kissed the back of it in goodbye. It was incredibly dorky and eminently adorable and Phryne laughed in delighted surprise at the move. He gave her a little self-deprecating smile (and when had she started cataloguing his smiles?) then started walking down the street. He was several yards away when she remembered.

“Oh! Don’t you want to collect?”

He stopped and turned around. “Collect what?”

“The candy bar. By my count, you won.”

He shook his head. “I don’t like Cherry Ripes.”

She crossed her arms and smirked at him. “Then why play?”

Jack grinned at her — really grinned, and she was definitely starting to catalog his smiles — and spread his arms wide on the sidewalk. “Phryne, I won the minute you decided to sit next to me. The rest was just… the icing on the stolen cake.”

She shook her head, but couldn’t stop her own grin from bursting forth. “That is a terrible pun!” she shouted after him, as he continued walking backwards down the sidewalk. “And I want my number back!”

“Can’t hear you!” he shouted back, still grinning.

Phryne narrowed her eyes, but her smile would not abate, which somewhat lessened the effect. It was hard to believe, standing on the sidewalk and feeling the way she felt now, that she had been so miserable just a few hours ago.

She really was looking forward to their rematch.

She was going to absolutely wallop him in Battleship.

| Short Fic Ask |

[billy-delos]

What I like about you

*gif isn’t mine*

You had hoped that Frank and Karen would finally get their act together before Valentine’s Day so that they’d actually have plans instead of sitting at your dining room table with you and Billy. At least they could have had a semblance of a Valentine’s Day together if they’d just stopped doing their weird dance around each other and admit they had feelings for each other. Karen had been showing interest in Frank for a while now, dropping hints every so often that you and Billy had picked up on. You were pretty sure that Frank had picked up on it himself, and was interested or else he would have gently but firmly shut her down as you’d seen him do with women that would flirt with him in the bar. You also knew though that losing his family had caused him to be hesitant to let anyone get too close.

You had tried to ignore the fact that you were spending Valentine’s Day with Billy after you finally acknowledged that your feelings for him had crossed beyond friendship. Billy didn’t reciprocate it and you knew that and that was fine; he’d never given you any indication that he was interested which was fine. Nevertheless, your mind had wondered what a proper Valentine’s day would be like with Billy. You doubted he’d be particularly

But you’d ordered a couple of pizzas and Billy had brought some IPAs which he swore tasted completely different than the generic beers that you’d order at a bar.

“How are you doing?” Billy asked as he was helping you in the kitchen grab plates and cups.

“I’m fine,” you shrugged, “Why? Do I not seem fine?”

Billy cleared his throat, “No, it’s just I know that Valentine’s Day can be hard sometimes for some people…”

“Oh, because I’m single?” you asked.

Billy looked slightly embarrassed.

“No, I mean maybe a few years ago it would have been rough and I’d be watching a bunch of rom-coms and wondering why it wasn’t me, but not now. I guess the way I’ve thought of the holiday has changed.”

“How so?” Billy asked.

“Well, it’s a holiday about love, right? And I know that it’s really been interpreted as a holiday for romantic love which I get, but I think it’s also just a great time to just appreciate all the love we have in our lives in all forms. Because I realize how much love I have in my life with you and Frank and Karen and my family and my dog even and why should I focus on being single and being sad about it when there’s so much that I could celebrate.”

“Interesting perspective.”

“Well, it’s definitely not going to sell any Hallmark cards,” you laughed.

“I like it though,” Billy said, “I kind of think this holiday is bullshit.”

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I mean, if you love someone you should let them know, right? Everyday, make sure that they’re happy and they know that they’re loved and wanted.” Your heart fluttered hearing Billy’s words and you knew that his view had been formed by his childhood and his relationship with his mother.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” you said and pulled Billy into a tight side hug.

“Come on,”

“So, do you have any Valentine’s Day traditions?” Frank asked.

Karen just shook her head, “I’m usually working, but in the past few years I’ve gone to a couple of Galentine’s events.”

“Y/N?”

You shrugged and picked at the crust that remained on your plate, “In college, my single friends and I- and sometimes people who wouldn’t be with their partners- would hang out and say what we loved about each other. Because so frequently we don’t necessarily tell people what we love about them,” you smiled at the memory and shrugged.

“Let’s do it,” Frank said.

“What?”

“Yeah, come on, let’s see, Billy, you son of a bitch, we’ve gone through two tours of duty together and you’re family you know that, I love that you’ll always have my back and I’ll always have yours. Y/N, I fucking love you for being so damn nice to everyone all the time. And Karen, you are probably one of the most incredible, stunning, intelligent people I’ve ever met and I’m so, so privileged to have you in my life.”

You couldn’t help but grin as Karen flushed at the compliment, she reached over and gently squeezed Frank’s arm. You glanced over to Billy who was beaming.

“Awww… look even Frank has a heart,” Billy teased.

“Okay, I’ll go,” you said. “Frank, I love that you would give the shirt off your back to anyone in need. Karen, you are my work wife and I love you, and Billy you care so damn much about everything, especially your friends and I love that about you.”

Karen went next, “Y/N, I love how opinionated you are and how you don’t care about what other people think. Billy, I love how hard you have worked to get to where you are. And Frank, you are probably the best person I know and I love the person you are and the person that you are becoming.”

“Billy?” you looked expectantly to him.

“Frankie, I love that you probably understand me better than anyone else. Karen, you are such a badass and I love that, and Y/N,” he paused, “I love that you’re smart.”

Your smile froze on your face. What Billy had said was nice, it was just so impersonal. Karen and Frank seemed to notice how Billy had said such nice things about them and for you it was different. Nevertheless, you forced a smile on your face, “Thanks, Billy,” you said.

“Early day tomorrow?” Frank asked.

“Yeah, not work though, but I have an early morning yoga session,” you said.

“We should probably head out soon anyways,” Frank said.

You walked them out to the door and hugged Billy and Frank before they headed out into the hallway. Karen lingered for a second and hugged you, “sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” you said. You had never talked to Karen about your crush on Billy since you all were friends but Karen was too observant to not notice. She tracked down criminals and wrote about them for a living, she was notice something as obvious as your crush on Billy, “good luck with Frank tonight.”

You waved goodbye and sighed. It was hard not to take it personally. Billy had been so sincere and thoughtful with the other two and less so with you, but if there was an upside to this, maybe this was the clarity you needed to move on from Billy and actually try to date someone.

 You were startled awake by a knock on the door a few hours after you’d gone to sleep. 12:07, your clock read as you stumbled to the door. “Billy, is everything okay?” you asked as you opened the door to see him on the other side.

“Honestly, I spent the past two hours first listening to Frank tear into me and then thinking whether or not I should come over here,” Billy said.

“Can this wait until tomorrow? I have to be up in five hours,” you asked.

“No, sorry I have to say this now before I chicken out and then I’ll go and you can decide if you want to talk about this more in the morning or if you don’t.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out,” you said.                

“I messed up tonight, I told you I loved that you are smart and I meant it and it’s true, but what I should have said was that I love that you have made a home for all of us, I love how you talk about things that you’re passionate about, I love how you don’t pity me but accept me for who I am, I love that you’d rather read in a book in a café than go to a cup… I just love you,” Billy said.

You smiled, “I love you, too,” and you pulled him down for a kiss. It was soft and slow and cautious but certain. You smiled as you pulled away apologetically, “I do need to go to bed though soon.”

“Okay,” Billy said, “Shit, it’s no longer Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s okay, we’ll have next year,” you said with certainty and a smile. Billy went to leave but you held onto his hand, “Stay.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah, let’s just sleep,” you said with a smile as you led him to your bedroom and he curled up next to you under the covers. You gently rested your forehead against his, “This was probably the best Valentine’s Day, Billy, so thank you.”

Billy pulled you over so that your head lay on his chest, “it was the best one for me as well so thank you.”

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 12

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i hope it sorta hit a bit? does it sting? it had to happen sorry! i cant wait to write the next chapter 😭

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i didnt add the “never have i ever” suggestions that i used but THANK YOU if you sent some, i used a few! also, i had other requests and ideas from people and i may use them a bit later, in a future chapter. actually i know when ill use them lol youll see :)

Chapter 12 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

"Shit, I don't know what to wear!" I exclaimed to myself as i put clothes in front of me, standing next to to mirror. "Horrible."

I threw the shirt away, aiming for the bed but it fell next to it and I didn't even send it a glance as I took an other one.placing it on my chest and tilting my head at my reflection. I glanced up when I saw Louis walk by and stop immediately, holding himself on the door frame with a smirk.

"Put a skirt on." he let out, making me raise my eyebrows. "It'll be easier for him to fuck you against the wall."

My eyes got smaller and I reached out for my tissue box before throwing it his way. He moved right on time and it hit the wall in a thug, making him laugh.

"Don't be so violent!" he smirked, walking in my room and leaning on the wall. "I'm just saying out loud what you think about late at night, if you know what I mean."

I turned to him, opening my eyes wide and shaking my head. I couldn't believe Louis was talking about me masturbating to the thought of my ex boyfriend like it was nothing.

"Oh my god, shut up!" I let out with a chuckle. "You're so annoying!"

"Look, I woke up and he was getting out of your room." Louis pointed out. "He spent the night with you. In your bed. Wearing nothing but BOXERS!"

"We just slept." I argued with a shrug, trying not to show him that the thought of Niall almost naked in bed with me was actually doing something to me. "I was sick, remember?"

"Yea, you were 'sick'" he repeated, pronouncing the last word louder and adding fake quotation marks with his fingers.

"I was! A few of your sushis weren't good, Lou." I explained, throwing an other shirt away and grabbing a new pair of jeans. "You know it's true, I heard you vomit in the middle of the night, too."

"That's not the point." he explained, getting suddenly a lot more serious than he normally is. "Olivia, you should break up with Dylan." I stopped dead in my track and even stopped breathing. My heart, though, was beating extremely hard against my rib cage and it's all I could hear. "Did you even think about him recently? He's not here and you don't even seem to miss him, especially not when Niall is around."

I did think about Dylan, though, but I didn't talk about my thoughts, mostly because I felt fucking guilty about almost everything that came to my mind. I felt like shit towards my boyfriend but I didn't have the guts to tell him that I was getting closer and closer to Niall. I didn't know how to tell him that spending time with Niall had been some sort of relief in my life, that being able to be around Niall again was making me generally happier, that when I was near him, I felt more alive. There was no good way to tell that to the man you were about to marry, not without hurting him.

"I love Dylan and I miss him, you know that damn well, Louis." I argued, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "But Niall is... Niall is Niall. Niall is the love of my life."

Louis uncrossed his arms and walked closer as I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to face reality at all. I wanted to spend time with Niall and pretend I would be able to resist him the next time he'd try to kiss me. I wanted to pretend that I was going totally okay with watching Niall and Heidi get married and have kids at some point in the future while i'd do the same with Dylan. I wanted to believe I didn't have to break an incredible man’s heart because of my own disgusting selfishness... that everything was fine and that what was happening between Niall and I was perfectly normal.

"I know he is." Louis said gently, placing his hands on my upper arms from behind. "I see you two interact and it's so obvious, Olivia. The way you two connect it's... it's probably terrifying for Dylan and Heidi, you know?"

I opened my eyes and sniffed before swallowing the lump in my throat. I was not going to cry. There was no fucking way I was going to cry now and ruin my make up. We didn't connect, and we wouldn't connect on that night, I was going to make sure of it.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay. I'll prove to you and everyone else that Niall and I are only friends, you'll see."

I was mostly trying to convince myself of that but I just reached out to my wardrobe and grabbed a skirt, like Louis had proposed. I was going to have fun tonight and nothing else.

"Liv, don't be like that."

I turned to Louis and shook my head slightly.

"I'm not losing Dylan, okay? I can't. Do you know what are the chances for me to find an other man like him? Kind, sweet, smart, funny and who truly loves me? I've risked my relationship enough, don't you think?"

"So last night, when Niall joined you in your bed, you didn't feel anything?" he asked a bit harshly, raising his eyebrows at me. "I saw him take care of you when you were puking your guts out, you know?"

"You don't base a romantic relationship on lust, Louis. You should know that." I shook my head, searching my drawers for a shirt. "Niall always took care of me, since we were kids. It's nothing new. And it means nothing."

Louis stayed there, motionless and quiet as I picked my clothes and when he realized I wouldn't look at him again, he sighed.

"We're leaving in 10 minutes." he turned around and walked to the door as I swallowed my tears again. "And Liv? I love you. I want what's best for you. My opinion is just that, an opinion but... I don't think you'll ever be happy if you're not with Niall. I don't think he'll ever be happy without you either."

                                                       ---

The bar was crowded but we reached a quiet spot on the second floor, in the back of the room. Everyone was arrived and I couldn't stop glancing at Niall, who ended up sitting next to me. Now that he was close, all the bullshit I had told Louis earlier didn't seem so important anymore. Nothing ever seemed more important than Niall, and it was a problem.

Louis came back with a pitcher and sat on the other side of me with Eleanor while Harry, Liam and Julie sat on the other side of the table. I didn't know where Harry's girlfriend was, or if he even was with her anymore. We had told each other we would remain friends but things change and we drifted apart. I sighed low, a bit nostalgic of that friendship before we all started drinking. I was getting drunk and from the way Niall's eyes sparkled, I felt like he was getting there, too. Or maybe it was just that I was so drunk I was starting to imagine things.

I could feel the skin of his arm brush against mine and I cleared my throat, trying to stop thinking about it before turning around to send him a smile.

"So where's your girlfriend?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh she'll be here soon."

I didn't expect this answer and raised my eyebrows as my lips parted. I didn't want to see her, and it was not only because we didn't get along. Most of all, I didn't want to see her all over Niall the way she had been when they invited us for dinner. Why was I so ready to prove everyone that I was able to resist my ex boyfriend but as soon as he was near, I couldn't handle myself?

"Okay, let's play a game!" Liam said, tapping the table a few times with his palm. "Truth or Dare?"

"No no, 'never have I ever'!" Louis argued, making me raise my nose up in a grimace.

These games never ended well, at least most of the time, except that one time where I decided to just kiss Harry, but a few minutes later, Niall had kissed a girl too and that was not a good ending, at least not to me.

"Okay, I found questions online!" Eleanor let out with a chuckle. "If you've done it, you take a sip, and no one lies!"

"Yea, I'll call you out if I see one of you lie!" Louis agreed, making my heart skip a beat.

I was screwed.

"Never have I ever... drunk-dialed an ex!"

I held my breath and started nibbling on my bottom lip. So many times, I had wanted to call Niall when I was drunk but every time, Louis was there to snatch the phone out of my hands. I glanced when I saw Niall drink and I wondered who he had tried to call. I had never received a phone call or a text message from him after we broke up, so I knew it was not me, and somehow, it made me jealous. He missed an ex so much that he called her... did that mean he never really missed me?

"Never have I ever... stolen someone's food!"

"Louis! You drink!" I let out, my eyebrows raised. "You always eat all my fucking left-overs!"

"What? Nah."

"He does!" Eleanor agreed with me with a chuckle, hitting him gently with her elbow.

He groaned but finally took a long sip of his beer, making me smile more.

"Okay, never have I ever... called a partner the wrong name during sex!"

I chuckled but felt my heart jump in my chest when I noticed Niall taking a long sip of his drink. We all looked at him and started laughing and he simply shrugged.

"I was drunk, I didn't know the girl's name!" he argued, laughing too.

I let my eyes roam on his face, wondering who exactly was that girl and if she had been someone he had sex with after he left me but I didn't dare to ask.

"Never have I ever.... lied to a law enforcement officer."

I laughed when I saw Louis drink and Liam started laughing, his eyebrows raised.

"Wait what? What was the lie?" he asked curiously, leaning slightly against the table.

"He lied to get out of a ticket." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Why? Because he was going too slow?"

Everyone started laughing and Louis grimaced before flipping Liam off, making everyone laugh even more. I leaned closer to Louis and kissed his cheek gently before he wiped my kiss vigorously from his skin.

"Traitor!" he whispered as I chuckled, blowing him an other kiss.

"Never have I ever... sent nudes."

Without thinking, my eyes found Harry immediately and his did too. We stared at each other for a few seconds before our lips curled. I grabbed my drink and took a sip as he did the same, just like Julie, Liam and Louis.

"Did you send nudes to your boyfriend or your ex boyfriend, Olivia?"

I sent a mean glance at Louis and he smirked, making me know he was getting back at me for the last question.

"One time, Harry, Niall and I played 'truth or dare' and Harry asked me if I had ever taken nudes. I guess we continued that conversation a bit later and.. shared.. selfies..."

Louis' eyes got bigger and he pressed his lips together, knowing he had made things a bit awkward but finding it funny anyway. I glanced at Niall, noticing he was staring at me, and finally cleared my throat, asking El for the next question.

"Never have I ever.... hooked up with someone of the same sex or gender."

My eyes once again found Harry. I knew we were pretty much the only one who didn't want to label ourselves around the table and I brought my drink closer to him. He smiled and clinked his glass against mine before we both took a sip.

"You guys have no idea what you're missing." he let out after swallowing, making us laugh.

"Oh my god, Liv, you're gonna love this one. Never have I ever had food poisoning."

I laughed and took a sip, pushing the side of my body against Louis'. He groaned and took a sip and when I turned around, I noticed Niall frowned. I moved closer, holding my breath to make sure I wouldn't smell his incredible scent, and smiled a bit.

"Last night, Louis got sick because of his sushis, too."

I saw an emotion pass on Niall's face and his lips finally curled before he chuckled. Was that relief? I nibbled on my bottom lip when I remembered what he had asked me in the middle of the night and the right corner of my lips raised. I didn't know why he didn't want me to be pregnant with Dylan's baby but I liked it.

"Never have I ever been the subject of a rumor that wasn’t true." Eleanor read with a big smile. "Oh god, I think we can all drink!"

We all laughed and ended up finishing our glasses, handing each other the pitchers to fill them back again. I almost choked on the sip I was taking when Heidi arrived and she quickly sat next to Niall, making something stir in my stomach. I closed my eyes tight when she kissed him and I felt Louis' hand on my arm.

"It's okay to be hurt, love." he whispered. "If it matters, she's got nothing on you. She's also doing that to get to you."

I breathed in and out slowly before opening my eyes again. I noticed Heidi looking at me and sending me a sly smile that really bothered me.

"I'll get shots!"

Harry left with Liam and the whole time they were gone, I played with my fingers nervously. I felt like the whole evening was ruined because of her but I couldn't let that get to me, right? As soon as the guys put the shots in the middle of the table, I grabbed one and swallowed it quickly, followed by Louis.

"Wait, guys! This is for the game!" Harry explained. "And it's a surprise, you don't know what you drink!"

That's when I noticed the huge amount of shots on the table and raised my eyebrows just as Eleanor read the next question.

"Never have I ever... caught someone masturbating."

I held my breath and my eyes got bigger. I didn't want to turn to Niall but it was stronger than me. He was already looking at me and he chuckled.

"One time, when I was 13, Liv caught me masturbating. She just walked in my room without knocking!"

I smiled and pressed my lips together but my smile faltered when I realized he had no idea that I had caught him masturbating last time I actually slept at his place. The sight of him jerking off flashed in my mind and I gripped my glass tighter until I heard his voice again.

"Oh and remember at the lodge?" he asked with a smirk. "I came back in the room the first day we got there and-”

"Nooo! Shut up!"

I moved closer to him, trying to press my hand over his mouth but he dodged me and ended up just holding my wrist as he finished his sentence.

"And I caught Olivia masturbating in the dark, in our room!"

"Oh my god I hate you." I groaned, leaning my forehead on the table as I heard laughter. "That was a secret!"

"Was it though?" Niall asked, his lips dangerously close to my ear.

I held my breath and waited a few seconds to look up, noticing Louis had given a shot to Niall and was now handing me one. I drank it quickly, turning the glass around and putting it on the table. Tequila, ouch.

"Never have I ever... tried anal sex."

Once again, I closed my eyes and groaned, bringing one of my hands on my face as Niall laughed next to me. I was really going to get drunk. I reached for two shots and handed one to Niall who just chuckled and drank it fast. I did it took and raised my nose up. Sambuca. I hated that.

"Wow, who the hell are you?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrows while looking at me. "Little wild thing. Can't believe you let him!"

It was not my first time trying anal but I decided not to mention it. The truth was, when I was dating Niall, I would have done anything for him. There was no limit, as long as he stayed with me and was happy, it was all that mattered to me. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss him and held my breath as I stared at him. My heart was hitting so hard against my rib cage I thought it was just going to escape. Literally. It was ridiculous. I was not ready to do anything for anyone anymore, except myself. That's how things should be.

"Never have I ever... hooked up with an ex’s friend."

Once again, I knew I had to drink. Not everyone in the room knew that I had slept with Louis and I thought maybe it would be better if I didn't drink at all but the worst would be if I hesitated. If I just drank, they could believe it was an other ex than Niall but if I didn't seem sure, they'd know I was not at ease and it would be suspicious. I rolled my eyes, realizing I was going a bit too far in my thoughts and just grabbed an other shot, swallowing it quickly. I felt Louis' hand squeeze my thigh and my lips curled slightly. He knew and it was enough for me.

"Never have I ever... tried to make an ex jealous."

I sighed and took an other shot, shaking my head.

"We need to find questions that won't force me to get so drunk I won't be able to walk in half an hour!" I argued with a chuckle, watching as Niall grabbed a shot too.

I was starting to hate this game, if only for the fact that all I did was drink and check if Niall would drink too and if he did, I'd just spend a few minutes wondering who it was about and what exactly it meant. I glanced at Heidi, thinking she should probably drink but didn't and I rolled my eyes.

I never really had tried to make Niall jealous but I had hoped for it. I was not getting married to make him regret leaving me, but when I noticed his reaction when he found out and stormed out of the cafe, I couldn't pretend it didn't do anything to me. It did. I liked it. It gave me hope. Hope for what? I was not sure.

"Never have I ever... second-guessed a relationship."

I was getting pissed at myself for letting all his simple gestures and actions get to me. I loved him, I loved him so fucking bad it was driving me insane, but there was no way I was going back to being the 'no-back-bone-and-fucking-blind' girl I used to be when we were dating. I didn't want that. I reached for a shot and placed it in front of Niall a bit roughly, spilling a few drops of what I believed was rum, or at least, it smelled like it.

"Do you need only one?"

Somehow, everyone stopped talking and although I should feel guilty, I really couldn't. I was past the tipsy stage and a few memories were coming back to my mind. I also didn't enjoy Heidi's presence and the way she was so close to him. Niall looked down and licked his lips, waiting a few seconds before drinking the shot and pushing the glass away. Eleanor cleared her throat and I just shook my head with a sigh.

"Uhm, never have I ever cheated on a partner."

I closed my eyes again but this time for a complete different reason. I thought about the first time Niall touched me. I could almost still feel his fingertips brush on my skin before he had pushed them inside me. I can't remember being this excited ever in my whole life. This time, I didn't have to say anything. Niall just reached out to grab a shot and swallowed it.

"Not on Liv, right?"

Niall turned to Louis and shook his head.

"No. With her." My eyes moved to Heidi's hand who gripped Niall's arm tighter sinking her nails in his skin. I couldn't help but think she did that when they fucked, too.  "It was back when I was with Maya."

I noticed Harry was looking at me with a frown and I just shook my head slightly, answering his silent question. He nodded and his lips curled a bit as I answered his smile. No, I had no cheated on Harry. I wouldn't have done that, not even for Niall... right?

"It was... unplanned." Niall added, making me press my lips together.

The memory was so vivid, probably due to the alcohol and mixed with the proximity of Niall's body, that I had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I got up, I realized how drunk I was and tried to walk straight. I didn't like to show I was drunk and I was not sure why but when I got out of the bathroom, Louis was leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

"El and I are leaving, we've got a brunch in her family tomorrow morning, so I'll sleep at her place." he explained with a frown. "Are you okay? We can give you a ride home if you want."

"No, thank you." I shook my head. "I'll just take a cab."

"No, no cab by yourself. One of those fuckers will bring you home when you'll be ready. I'll make sure of it. And if anything happens, you call me."

I nodded and he pulled me into a hug, making me close my eyes. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, and that I missed having sex with him, but it was a lie. What I actually missed was to be close to someone, and I sort of felt like I was losing him, somehow. Soon, we were not going to live together anymore and I had no idea if I was okay with that.

"Sorry for that game, although it went better than you thought, right?"

I chuckled and pulled away before nodding. He sent me a wink and told me goodnight and I watched him leave before sighing and walking back to the table with difficulty. Liam and Julie were getting up too and I frowned, tilting my head when I got closer.

"Are you guys leaving too?"

"Yea, we're both a bit tired." Julie explained.

They said their goodbyes to everyone and I ended up sitting next to Harry and in front of Niall. I watched as Heidi talked in his ear with a smirk and I glanced down to watch her arm disappear, realizing she probably had her hand on his thigh, or even somewhere else. I looked away and swallowed at the intense feeling of jealousy invading me.

"Oh, Olivia, I know you'll be alone tonight, would you rather sleep home?"

I frowned at Heidi, a bit surprised about her proposition and licked my lips, trying to find a reason why she would actually want me to be with both of them at his place. To show me he belonged to her, perhaps? To keep on being all over him in front of me?

"No it's okay, she can come home." Harry just said, getting up and grabbing his phone. "I'm alone tonight, too."

"It's cool, Harry. She'll sleep at mine." Niall quickly replied, getting up to. "Plus, it's closer."

They looked at each other and Harry finally sighed before bending down and whispering to me.

"Are you okay with that?" I just nodded and he did the same. "Okay, darling."

Heidi drove us back home since she had barely drank and I noticed Niall kept glancing at me in the mirror but I didn't acknowledge him. I knew he was a bit mad at me for some of the things I had said and if I wanted to be honest, I really thought I was over all of that, but the thought of him breaking my heart and not being sure of the relationship we had made something burn inside me... I was not mad. I was still hurt. I probably always would be.

Niall let me borrow a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt and none of us really talked at all. We just went to bed and before I knew it, I was laying on my back, under the covers, in the dark, just staring at the ceiling. Normally, I would have a conversation with Niall until we'd both fall asleep but that night, it was impossible. He was going to cuddle her all night, and not me. The thought made me swallow hard and I tried to keep my tears in. I was intoxicated and just closing my eyes made me dizzy.

That's when I heard it. It made my heart jump so hard in my chest I was near throwing up. A moan. Just a low moan disturbing the silence of the night and then, an other one. I got up slowly, my heart beating harder, making my whole body throb and when I opened the door, I held my breath. I stepped out of the room and It was clear, now. A bunch of moans reached my ears and I leaned my back against the wall, shutting my eyes tight.

"Oh, fuck, Niall!"

I felt tears invade my eyes and I let myself slide on the wall until my ass hit the floor. I heard noise, like the annoying sounds of a mattress moving, and I brought my hand to my mouth, trying to keep in the sobs that wanted to escape. This is exactly why Heidi wanted me to sleep at their place but the one I really blamed was Niall. How could he do that to me? Wasn't breaking my heart once enough? What the hell was he thinking?

I was sitting down alone in the hall, now as sober as possible in these circumstances, listening to my ex boyfriend, the man I was in love with, having sex with his girlfriend. It was so pathetic I didn't even take the time to wipe the tears that fell on my cheeks, I just accepted my fate, motionless, like it was something I actually deserved. I tried to think about my boyfriend, filming a movie in an other country, but it couldn't distract me from the noises coming from his room. All these images of Heidi riding him as he touched her and told her how much he loved her invaded my brain and I felt suddenly nauseous. It made me realize one thing. It was not so much that they had sex, that really bothered me, although it did hurt me to some extent. What was really hard to accept was that he may have feelings for her, stronger feelings than he had for me. I also couldn't really believe he cared so little about me that he'd literally do it while I was in the same house, in the room literally next to mine.

I cried more, feeling like this moment would never fucking end. It's only when I heard his voice for the first time that something inside me seemed to click. He had groaned and I hated it. It was a low and simple grunt but it made me want to literally die on the spot. I don't know where I found the strength but I quickly got up, walked back to the guest room and grabbed my purse before rushing to the front door and stepping out of the house into the dark night. The door closed roughly behind me and I realized they may have heard. I quickly left and ran across the street, my shoes hitting the ground being the only sound around. It was only when I was totally out of breath that I decided to call a cab. I just wanted to erase that whole evening from my mind. I just wanted to erase all my feelings and be happy again but I couldn't lie to myself. The only time I was truly happy was when I was with Niall... and that was over. There was no hope left inside me.

[inforapound]

Emboîté  Part 1

A/N - I sat down to write a one-shot for @youbloodymadgenius‘s 400 writing celebration and I accidentally wrote 19k words of the sappiest, fluffiest modern Ivar. I love you @youbloodymadgenius. Series is pretty much done so I will post a couple of chapters a week - 6 parts total. Please see warnings.

Pairing – Ivar and Sarah     (Aethelswith)

Words – 1,500 approx 

Series Warning – explicit smut, dance industry inaccuracies, fluffy Ivar, possessive Ivar, semi-slow burn, ‘baby’ used as a term of endearment.

When our eyes met through the crowded reception, it startled me. It was the bleakness of his expression. As if he had just received bad news and his body was yet to react. I didn’t mean for my eyes to linger but I was curious. Somehow drawn. The emotion just under the surface of his face held my eyes to his and I couldn’t turn away. When he looked away first, I felt almost jarred, like someone had snapped their fingers in front of me. It was the strangest thing.

---

“Fuck off.”

Wincing, he leaned on his crutch, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“You would be less miserable if you sat down.” Taking a sip from his glass of vodka, Ubbe ignored Ivar’s glare, setting his drink down on the tall table in the cocktail area of the ballroom. “Just head to our seats,” he nodded toward the far side of the large room set up as if it were a fashion how. Chairs lined either side of a catwalk with a stage and podium behind.

“I wouldn’t have come if I knew it was going to be like this. What is taking so long?”

“Chill Ivar, it’s a benefit,” Ubbe said, his tone placating. “They want us liquored up before we bid.”

“It’s not too late for you to go,” Hvitserk chimed in, his eyes scouring the females in the room. “I’m surprised you even came.”

Grunting in the back of his throat, Ivar again shifted his weight on his cane, ignoring his drink on the table. “Our father left me chief controller, not you,” he glanced at Hvitserk. “And Freddie said we need charitable write-offs. Mom loved this place….”

“You mean we aren’t here because of your love of the fine arts?” Hvitserk smiled taking another drink but stopped and frowned. “Shouldn’t this be an open bar for how much these tickets cost? And... this is a two-night gig, there’s still that silent art auction thing in a few weeks at the gallery on Hereford.”

“Forget that,” Ivar sneered. “I’ll write the cheque tonight and that will be that.” Picking up his highball of dark liquor, he knocked it back, plunking the glass down onto the table.

---

There was no time to dissect my reaction to the striking man in a dark suit across the room. The tall, handsome Ronan Dorst approached, stopping beside me, standing so close the arm of his suit touched the skin of my shoulder. My black formal gown was not overly revealing, but I still felt a chill from the low neckline and off the shoulders cut. Looking up to him, I flashed a quick smile. Ronan’s smile was so natural, if one didn’t notice the way his eyes roamed the figures of every dancer, performer, server who passed, they would almost believe him to be a gentleman. But, I suspected differently.

“You ready to shine?”

“In truth, I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Meh,” he took a long drink, emptying half his glass. “You are used to being in front of a crowd. It’s all in fun.”

“Says the man who won’t be paraded down a stage in hopes of attracting bids for an awkward supper out with strangers. Anything for the ballet.” I groaned, fidgeting with the glass of wine in my hands. Too nervous for it to taste good.

“I will bid on you and then you won’t have to suffer through the boring dinner with the Ravenhurts. You weren’t here last year, were you?”

“No, I had just been signed.”

“They do this every year. Outbid as many as they can and then throw a large, stiff dinner party at their big house. They like to remind us, peasants, that they are the theatre’s primary donors. Relax,” he looked down, and I could feel his eyes on the skin of my chest. “I’ll rescue you.”

Comforting, I thought, taking a sip of my bitter drink. Looking over at the older couple, the man was wearing a tuxedo and his wife, a purple glittering dress that resembled a housecoat my mom used to wear. They looked sweet. And dripping with money. The entire room was dripping with money, including my charming, googly-eyed friend standing next. How much would they bid, I wondered if they saw my shitty apartment above a laundromat with a bifold door on the bathroom. My eyes skipped back to the three reserved and well-dressed men standing around a table.

“Who are those men over there not talking to anyone?”

“Where?” Ronan gawked, failing at being discreet.

“Closest to the bar.”

Straightening, he looked away, his expression sour as he took another drink. “The Lothbroks. I would suggest you not wonder over.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“You are too sweet to mix with that crowd.”

“How do you know I am sweet?”

Glancing down at me he rolled his eyes, “Nice try gorgeous.”

Continuing on, he gave me no time to ask questions.

“What kind of bid are you hoping to get? I am feeling generous,” he wiggled his eyebrows looking less and less attractive the longer we talked.

“Ugh,” I grimaced. “Giovanna is lead and Nicole has an incredible following for a second.”

“You are a second.”

“Yes, but they are stars. They can work a crowd. Mikal is a legend and Jono is a straight-up peacock. They’ll bring in the money. Jono will have eyes for all the older ladies with fat diamond rings. I will be happy if someone bids, something.”

The sound of chimes came through the speakers. It was time to be displayed like a cow at auction.

---

“Ladies and gentlemen, we now welcome one of our two understudies. All the way from Montreal, Canada, Sarah Pearson.

Oh god, I exhaled and stepped out onto the shiny surface of the stage relieved that they were clapping.

“Sarah has been with our company for one year. She….”

Tune it out, tune it out, I chanted in my mind, attempting to focus on my breath and maintain a smile. The blaring voice of our director drolled on the details of my life like it was a shopping list. I took comfort, as always, in the blinding lights. They prevented me from trying to make out the features of the faces lining the stage, staring. It all felt like some 1950’s bullshit. The music rattled on, not as loud as her voice over the microphone and I marched forward, careful not to roll an ankle. Wouldn’t that be something?

“Dancing since the age of three and from a long line of dancers, Sarah…”

Hmm, I pressed my lips together now at the halfway point on the walk pleased she left out the details of my ex-ballerina mother now permeant-couch-dweller, chain-smoking, alcoholic. She was usually surrounded by garish glamour photos of herself in a slightly rattier apartment than mine and one that always had the choking smell of ashtrays and Chantilly talc powder. Yes, that snip-it of information would not bring in the bids.

“We will start the bidding at five hundred dollars. Five hundred!’ she immediately repeated pointing in the direction of a paddle being held up in the air.

“Fifteen hundred,” a man’s voice called from somewhere on my left and I knew immediately it was Ronan.

“Three thousand,” a woman’s voice called out and I wondered if it was Mrs. Ravenhurst in her rhinestone housecoat.

It felt as though I should look over, but I pretended to be oblivious to the figures being hurled in my direction.

“Five thousand dollars,” another man spoke, his voice sounding shaky, making me think he was another one of our more elderly patrons.

“Seven thousand dollars,” Ronan interjected, and our director, turned auctioneer, all but orgasmed over the mic.

“Eight. Thousand. Dollars,” the woman called out pointedly giving the impression she would not be rattled by little boys playing with their father’s money.

Would she keep bidding, I wondered, knowing there were still nine dancers to follow?

“Ten thousand dollars!” Ronan shouted, sounding theatrical and sparking the crowd to clap and cheer.

Rounding the end of the catwalk, I began my painfully slow trip back to the stage. The auctioneer repeating and calling, ‘ten thousand going once, twice….”

“Twenty-five thousand,” an unknown voice cut through the excitement. Instinctively, my head snapped in its direction, the lights on the stage stinging my eyes. Squinting, I looked down at the floor with a large black spot in my vision unable to see who had made the bid. Stopping at center stage, I spun and lifted my face back to the crowd with a smile, listening to the applause.

“Going once!”

Our director was truly embracing the moment.

“Going twice!”

The mallet dropped with a hollow whack.

“SOLD for twenty-five thousand dollars!”

Nice to have the value of my life confirmed with the drop of a hammer.

“Ladies and gentlemen, now THAT is how you support the ballet. Yes, give our generous donor a round of applause. Thank you so much number 24. Mr.…” hesitating she looked down at her podium as if searching a list, “ah, thank you Mr. Ivar Lothbrok.”

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