#gonzo for the rest of the franchise

[imaginationwiiiiiizard]

after watching the muppets haunted mansion?? I'd rather never have another piece of muppets media come out then to sit through matt vogel as Kermit the frog for another five minutes.

disney isnt gonna grow the franchise any further because they benefit from it exactly as it is, or at least exactly as theyve made it out to be. another soulless "kids franchise" to squeeze a couple hundred grand out of

it's time we let the muppets die off so what's left of the memory can be savored and not drilled into the ground like everything else

it's time for you to get in your car and not put a seatbelt on and drive really really fast into a brick wall. bitch

[tobiasdrake]

By the way, the way Deadpool jumps around from past to present is inspired.

One of the hardest things about superhero movies is that the first one is usually pretty slow. It has the obligation of being an origin story, so it has to do a lot of setup. It needs to explain who these characters are, why they have superpowers, what they're motivated to do with those superpowers, why they're motivated to do it, etc.

Meanwhile, the audience just wants to see a guy dressed in red throw a nut-punch into a guy with robot tentacles. That's the appeal. Audiences have soured on origin stories because it's necessary but slow-paced busy-work that has to be done before we can see the cool shit.

This is why the second movie of a given hero franchise is often the best. All the setup is done and it can start doing the cool shit straight from minute 1.

Deadpool uses its flashbacks and flashforwards as a way of counterbalancing the two. It still contains an origin story, it still has to, but it uses achronal storytelling to ensure that we're never overwhelmed by the slow but important setup scenes.

The back-and-forth contrast between developing Wade's life and circumstances vs. Deadpool stabbing guys and being wacky gets the fun going right from the get-go. It keeps the audience's eye on the ball for what the rest of the film will be like once it gets there. This, in turn, helps the necessary setup scenes go down smoother.

The audience doesn't become impatient with the setup because they're always just a couple minutes away from the next gonzo Deadpool scene. This is part of the magic that made this movie so successful.

[runningdownthatroad]

I can't even...

"Why did Depp, who had already lost a similar case in Britain, insist on going back to court? A public trial, during which allegations of physical, sexual, emotional and substance abuse against him were sure to be repeated, couldn’t be counted on to restore his reputation. Heard, his ex-wife, was counting on the opposite: that the world would hear, in detail, about the physical torments that led her to describe herself, in the Washington Post op-ed that led to the suit, as “a public figure representing domestic abuse.”

Even before the verdict came in, Depp had already won. What had looked to many like a clear-cut case of domestic violence had devolved into a “both sides” melodrama. The fact that Heard’s partial victory, which involved not Depp’s words but those spoken in 2020 by Adam Waldman, his lawyer at the time, can be spun in that direction shows how such ambiguity served Depp all along. As one commenter on The New York Times site put it, “Every relationship has its troubles.” Life is complicated. Maybe they were both abusive. Who really knows what happened? The convention of courtroom journalism is to make a scruple of indeterminacy. And so we found ourselves in the familiar land of he said/she said.

We should know by now that the symmetry implied by that phrase is an ideological fiction, that women who are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault have a much harder time being listened to than their assailants. I don’t mean that women always tell the truth, that men are always guilty as charged, or that due process isn’t the bedrock of justice. But Depp-Heard wasn’t a criminal trial; it was a civil action intended to measure the reputational harm each one claimed the other had done. Which means that it rested less on facts than on sympathies.

In that regard, Depp possessed distinct advantages. He isn’t a better actor than Heard, but her conduct on the stand was more harshly criticized in no small part because he’s a more familiar performer, a bigger star who has dwelled for much longer in the glow of public approbation. He brought with him into the courtroom the well-known characters he has played, a virtual entourage of lovable rogues, misunderstood artists and gonzo rebels. He’s Edward Scissorhands, Jack Sparrow, Hunter S. Thompson, Gilbert Grape.

We’ve seen him mischievous and mercurial, but never truly menacing. He’s someone we’ve watched grow up, from juvenile heartthrob on “21 Jump Street” to crusty old salt in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise. His offscreen peccadilloes (the drinking, the drugs, the “Winona Forever” tattoo) have been part of the pop-cultural background noise for much of that time, classified along with the scandals and shenanigans that have been a Hollywood sideshow since the silent era.

In his testimony, Depp copped to some bad stuff, but this too was a play for sympathy, of a piece with the charm and courtliness he was at pains to display. That he came off as a guy unable to control his temper or his appetites was seen, by many of the most vocal social media users, to enhance his credibility, while Heard’s every tear or gesture was taken to undermine hers. The audience was primed to accept him as flawed, vulnerable, human, and to view her as monstrous.

Because he’s a man. Celebrity and masculinity confer mutually reinforcing advantages. Famous men — athletes, actors, musicians, politicians — get to be that way partly because they represent what other men aspire to be. Defending their prerogatives is a way of protecting, and asserting, our own. We want them to be bad boys, to break the rules and get away with it. Their seigneurial right to sexual gratification is something the rest of us might resent, envy or disapprove of, but we rarely challenge it. These guys are cool. They do what they want, including to women. Anyone who objects is guilty of wokeness, or gender treason, or actual malice.

Of course there are exceptions. In the #MeToo era there are men who have gone to jail, lost their jobs or suffered disgrace because of the way they’ve treated women. The fall of certain prominent men — Harvey Weinstein, Leslie Moonves, Matt Lauer — was often welcomed as a sign that a status quo that sheltered, enabled and celebrated predators, rapists and harassers was at last changing.

A few years later, it seems more likely that they were sacrificed not to end that system of entitlement but rather to preserve it. Almost as soon as the supposed reckoning began there were complaints that it had gone too far, that nuances were being neglected and too-harsh punishments meted out.

This backlash has been folded into a larger discourse about “cancel culture,” which is often less about actions than words. “Cancellation” is now synonymous with any criticism that invokes racial insensitivity, sexual misbehavior or controversial opinions. Creeps are treated as martyrs, and every loudmouth is a free-speech warrior. Famous men with lucrative sinecures on cable news, streaming platforms and legacy print publications can proclaim themselves victims.

Which is just what Depp did. And while he accused Heard of doing terrible things to him in the course of their relationship and breakup, the lawsuit wasn’t about those things. It was about words published under her name, none of which were “Johnny Depp.” In a sentence the jury found false and malicious, after describing herself as “representing domestic abuse” Heard wrote that she “felt the full force of our culture’s wrath for women who speak out.” This time she surely has.

Misogyny isn’t the subtext of American political rage and social dysfunction; all too often, it’s the plain text. The links between domestic violence and mass shootings are chilling and well documented, though rarely cited in arguments about policy and prevention. The mobs of social media mobilize against women with special frequency and ferocity, often using the language of righteous grievance. Gamergate, a campaign of harassment directed at women who wrote about video game culture, pretended to be about “ethics in journalism.” The alt-right in the months before the 2016 election and its post-Trump progeny specialize in targeted misogyny. The TikTok hordes that went after Amber Heard over the past few months took a page from that book.

Depp’s victory is also theirs. The rage of men whose grievances are inchoate and inexhaustible found expression in a 58-year-old movie star’s humiliation of his 36-year-old former wife. I have to wonder: Are men OK? That’s a sincere question. Does the blend of self-pity, vanity, petulance and bombast that Depp displayed on the stand represent how we want to see ourselves or our sons? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is yes.

Not all men, though. Right? Now that the trial is over, we’ll find new things to be ambiguous about, new venues where indeterminacy can serve as an alibi for the same old cruelty, and for its newer iterations. Johnny Depp is being embraced as a hero in some quarters, but his victory extends even to those who will allow themselves to feel troubled by the outcome of the trial and then move on. Some of us may wince a little when we watch “Pirates of the Caribbean” or “Donnie Brasco,” but we’ll probably still watch. They’re pretty good movies, and it’s not as if they can be expunged from the collective memory. That hasn’t happened to Louis C.K., or Woody Allen, or Michael Jackson, or Mel Gibson, or even Bill Cosby. Some of them have gone to court, some have faced public censure and disgrace, but they all remain woven into the fabric of the culture, and their behavior is too. We may not entirely forget, but we mostly forgive.

Let’s at least be clear about what that means. It means that we value the comfort and self-regard of men, especially famous ones, more than we value the safety and dignity of women, even famous ones."

(x)

This was written by a man. Which honestly kills me because all it does is prove that misandry is alive and well when it comes to the subject of domestic abuse. Just like that age old view of the patriarchy unable to see women as equals, women as anything other than damsels in distress, fragile little creatures that must be protected at all costs, here we have proof that society is still unable to accept the fact that a woman can abuse a man. And because said abuser is a woman, then society demands that we absolutely believe everything they've claimed despite evidence that was entered into a court of law that was reviewed by legal experts and jurors alike proving the contrary. It demands that not only are we to circle her wagons and defend her due to her anatomy but also turn a blind eye to her abuses of not only a man but other human beings that it has been documented by law enforcement and in a court of law that she actually did.

I am just...astonished. This is the NY Times. They approved this piece. And rather than talk to actual abuse experts and psychological experts, even law enforcement, they choose to continue to be part of the problem.

Let me say this, had I heard JD making the statements on the audio recordings that AH did instead, I absolutely would be just as passionate in supporting her. Because I support ALL survivors, regardless of their gender.

And because of my experience in this arena, because I am a survivor, I can tell you that within seconds of hearing AH speaking that I knew right then, other evidence sight unseen, who was really abusing who. It's a special club that not one of us ever wants to be a part of.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

JUST TO MAKE CLEAR: I DON'T HATE ABC'S THE MUPPETS. (2015)

@the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa @softlytowardthesun @thealmightyemprex @moonbeamelf @fragglesesamemuppetz2

I finished the show on Disney + recently (16 episodes).

It suffered from some conventions of a lot of sitcoms like dragging romantic relationship dramas and cheap quick jokes like "Ha ha ha ha, guy is pathetic because still lives with the mom" but it also presented a genuinelly fun time with the idea of the Muppets living everyday lives at the big city and highliting some side characters that previously only had quick appearances.

Here are the cons and pros.

Cons:

*Of the three original cast of proeminent women (Miss Piggy, Janice and Camilla), only Miss Piggy gets layers of personality, and even then she still suffers from flanderization of her diva behaviours and relationship drama with Kermit. Like: she forgets Fozzie's and other characters names, doesn't have friendships with other women (be they muppet or human), and only Kermit and Uncle Deadly are emotionally close to her;

*Floyd Pepper (besides the machismo in his relationship with Janice) is rewritten to be a conspiracy theorist;

*The idea of the uptight Sam having a crush on the free spirited Janice could have work in both a comedic and serious way if they tooked lessons from how Gonzo had to deal with unrequited crushes on the Muppet Show: it should had Janice know of the crush, reacting surprised and concerned, then calmly explaining to Sam that she couldn't have romantic feelings for him but they could be great friends, and Sam would suffer, but graciously accept and respect Janice's desires and boundaries, and it could result in a great friendship of two foiling personalities. But unfortunally it was handed in a way that Janice never learns of Sam's feelings and Sam acts so obsessed and self absorved that there is even a joke about implying he stalks her to her home, wich is just creepy;

*Fozzie suffering "racism for being a bear" (when dating the human girl Becky) from his father in law troughout the whole first episode, wich never gets developed on how it works in the rest of the show so probably shouldn’t have been used in the first place;

*Denise, a brunette pig with glasses who dates Kermit for a while, is provably the most boring character ever created in the Muppet franchise;

*Chip, the TI working Muppet who constantly hacks the computers and invades other characters privacy, is very off putting;

*Scooter being a character with unresolved problems with his mom and her boyfriend are frequently used for jokes that can be very grating and not as funny as when he mentioned his uncle in The Muppet Show;

Pros:

*Yolanda the Rat, God bless her! She is very street smart and snarky, but instead of just being a "pair for Rizzo", becomes her own character, competent, ambitious, inteligent and honest about what can go wrong in the backstages;

*Uncle Deadly, still ocasionally intimidating, but now a resilient and loyal friend with a great sense of fashion and a subtle sense of humour;

*Big Mean Carl (from Muppets Tonight) returns, and is still his hilarious savage self;

*Animal wasn't running around harassing women guests, wich is a great improvement;

*Bobo the Bear (who also started in Muppets Tonight) returns as a more competent no nonsense director, but still having a charming sense of naivete and kindness that made him so likable;

*The cunning and sarcastic duo of Rizzo and Pepe is comedic gold;

*Rowlf owns a bar called Rowlf's Tavern, receiving costumers by continuing to be his chill self, and I would love to have a milk-shake there;

*Robin the Frog's appearence in the later episodes is treated as a big event, and Kermit's nephew is still the sweet and innocent little frog that we know and love. Miss Piggy is shown to be a very caring friend to Robin, and he considers her to be his Aunt Piggy, wich is very touching and helps in the proccess of humanizing Miss Piggy.

*RuPaul is a guest;

I recomend it to fellow Muppet fans as an important way of learning how complicated to make a comedy show it is, and that sometimes things get trite and fail, but there are also things that really work to entertain in unexpexcted ways.

[stainlesssteellocust]

got a bit distracted by things which have several or many good things going on despite their glaring flaws but-

Henders Island is a smorgasbord of cool alien worldbuilding brought low by the authors utter inability to write a compelling story

Green Antarctica lures you in with fascinating ideas, black humour and unbelievable gonzo madness only to break the spell every so often with jarring, shoehorned nasty shit that takes you right out, like you were on a roll just now dav stop talking about how this one guy is a child predator dav, dav please-

Hyperion and The Fall of Hyperion is the epic tale of one man trying to write some of the greatest sci-fi of all time only to be brought low by the shoddy milSF baen-books meanness inherent to his soul

Gunbuster has one of the greatest endings of all time but if you’re not into 80’s anime schlock you’re gonna be glad it’s over once you get there

City Hunter has a great aesthetic and some really good music, it's just a shame about literally everything else about it...

...okay it also has an MC who every now and again will pull the coolest shit you ever did see, his superspy bullshit makes James Bond look like a pile of puke when he gets going, unfortunately the rest of the time he's one of those anime characters who thinks sexual harrassment is funny

speaking of sex pest anime, Seven Deadly Sins has this one scene and nothing else going for it in the full season's worth that I watched

and speaking of Bond I like the Brosnan ones but the rest of the franchise leaves a bad taste in my mouth

there's only one thing worse than an awful book, and that is an awful book with ONE tantalisingly compelling element

[ziracona]

Mission success Saw III watched, good night had, two absolute soulless bastards dead, and the world righter for it. Now we just have to decide if 4 is worth watching, or we’re just doing scenes.

[magicmarksman]

Ladies and gentlemen. Hellsing fans of all ages. This scene.

This one scene

Why do I call so much to it? Well, it’s the second to last snippet of Gonzo’s original trailer for 2001’s Hellsing series. It was a promise that sadly never was made due to the hangups of the manga and budget constraints, which was the introduction of Millennium in the anime.

I dwell on it so much, and grasp at straws in vague memory of what we could have seen from Gonzo’s full interpretation of the franchise unhindered by Hirano’s crazy scheduling of the manga releases and full support from it’s benefactors.

So step in, dear vampires, ghouls, Englishman and priests alike. Let us gather at the roundtable and gain some clarity on the unknowable; what could have been of Hellsing 2001…

Right off the heels of Episode 13, the mystery would have been bubbling as to who truly was the member of Hellsing that was behind the “ownership” of Incognito, and possibly his awakening. For anyone who’s read the manga or Ultimate, it’s very clear this would have been Walter, as he betrayed the Hellsing family when Millennium promised him the chance to defeat Alucard, and Millennium giving him access to the vampire of the Dark Continent would be no surprise. It would have easily fit into their plans of pitting an old and weaker vampire against Alucard to give the Hellsing organization a false sense of security whilst Millennium mustered their forces. Knowing the Anime’s favor toward mystery and intrigue, Dornez’ betrayal would have been a slow and gradual one, with many moments of the butler silently dissuading any suspicions and playing close to Integra’s side.

This mysterious, ominous vibe and beautifully stylized story would have still been carried by Yasushi Ishii’s ingenious soundtrack, with the orchestral and opera bits getting healthily mixed in toward the final act of the series. Honestly always imagined Andersons death fitting perfectly with the piano solo at the end of “The Japense Alphabet Road W/Chinese Bellflowers Sweet Smell”.

What of Seras? Well as we know, many of Helling’s hired troops were lost to the battle against Incognito and his freak army. Which means we would not only get the Wild Geese to replace them, but Victoria getting her human companionship in the form of Pip Bernadotte. The anime REALLY liked playing with Seras’ constant conflict with her new vampire self, and Pip could have made a great foil to Alucard in that consistent drama right to it’s climax against Zorin.

Side note, you know they would have had fun with the interactions between the stern and grizled Fargeson and Bernadotte’s cool and aloof nature.

Speaking of side characters, i feel we would have regularly seen more in order to pad the time between manga volumes; knowing 2001, these would have been fine additions, adding a bit of spice to London and putting Hirano’s characters in a world that actively worked around them, whether residents, other lesser Hellsing members, or Iscariot priests. Side characters like Heinkel, Yumiko and Penwood probably would have seen a massive spike in stuff to do as well before serving their short-lived purpose in the climax. Hell, maybe even canon Crossfire?

There definitely would have been other vampires and monsters for Seras and Alucard to hunt down across Europe, meaning a good few cross-ups with Anderson and the rest of Section XIII as they were VERY liberal with their jurisdiction in the anime that led to a lot of fun power-struggle between the two monster-slaying factions before their true enemy played their hand.

And now we get to the big honchos…

Millennium

Definitely gonna call it: they would have refrained from them being Nazis; a secret battalion of the Third Reich, yes, but knowing modern TV back then, this would not have flown. Ultimate got away with it thanks to DVD release. The Major’s goals and aspiration for his final war would have gone FAR past the narrow-minded ideologies of Hitler’s Nazi Germany (hell, it’s practically confirmed in canon when he denounces the Fourth Reich), and possibly even rebranded Millennium under a new symbol to reflect this. It would also better reflect the anime never hinting toward Nazis, as Millennium was scrutinized by Hellsing shortly after the Valentine’s death in both manga and Ultimate.

Chances are each member of Millennium would have been further expanded upon. Many more moments of buildup and character study much like we saw in the Valentine brothers, who had a whole episode of escapades before they even invaded Hellsing Manor— definitely helping them stand out. This combined with the removal of traditional Nazi imagery would have really pushed each of the artificial vampires under Major’s battalion to their farthest before meeting their inevitable demise at the hands of Alucard, and not leaving such a sour taste in many viewers mouths before they did.

From that point on, the anime would’ve probably come to pace with the climactic burning of London and the Ninth Crusade. But with so many episodes and extra character establishment to keep pace next to the manga, this would have made a Hellsing experience that, while very different for Hirano’s work on the page, would have had a very distinct style and extra content that would have left many satisfied. We see this happen with so much Shōnen having filler episodes in their corresponding shows. And while many of that see filler as a sin, Hellsing’s admittedly short length would have easily meant these filler episodes giving much more breathing room for the otherwise airtight story that Hirano penned.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is but a theory of what we could have seen from a world that never saw the untimely death of Gonzo’s vision of Hellsing!

I hope you all enjoyed this long rambling of a coping Hellsing fan, and I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts in the comments or asks! I know the Hellsing community is dying for content, and I wanted to offer the fun open-ended talk-piece!

On a side note… we all know this guy would’ve been a side villain. Strange that he got so much special attention compared to the other faceless vampires in Millennium’s ranks.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Buttman's Ultimate Workout (Stagliano, 1990)

The opening scene plays like an inverse of slasher movie dynamics. Our hero, Buttman, played by the director John Stagliano, is out admiring the night sky (and favourably compares the moon to a pair of buttcheeks). Like many a slasher movie villain, he sees a couple having sex (in an alley, outside in the middle of the night). Yet while a slasher movie villain would proceed to stalk and kill, Buttman is detected and fearfully retreats to a gym, ducking around corners and underneath furniture to evade detection. And where a slasher movie villain might be hopelessly compelled to kill, Buttman is hopelessly compelled to point his camera at every shapely, finely toned pair of buttocks in sight. In a way, they're both tragic figures. There's a similar dynamic here as in the beginning of Rick Rosenthal's Halloween II. Michael Myers flees from the cops while continuing his murderous rampage, while Buttman flees while zooming in on every ass he sees. In a way, they're both tragic figures.

As the title suggests, Buttman's Ultimate Workout is defined by its gym setting, the drab, utilitarian interiors providing a sharp contrast with the hideous day-glo colours of the characters' spandex workout clothes, and the gym equipment being incorporated into the sexual choreography. (There are times when the creaking of the equipment is loud enough to inspire fear for the performers' safety, providing an additional element of tension to the proceedings.) Like The Adventures of Buttman, the only other installment of the franchise I've seen (...all the way through...judge not that ye not be judged...), the film takes an episodic structure. In that opening scene, the hero is eventually caught by some meatheads, one of whom (Randy Spears, returning from the other movie) recognizes him, compliments his work and asks him to return later for another gig. The rest of the movie has the hero tagging along to film situations that evolve into sex scenes, some more naturally than others.

To the extent there's a narrative throughline, it's in Buttman's valiant efforts to act as a wingman for Zara Whites, helping her woo an allegedly dashing movie star played by Rocco Siffredi by relaying videotaped messages between them. Their interactions provide the most severe tonal whiplash in the movie, going from the hottest moment in the movie, Whites angrily tearing off her clothes after being informed of Siffredi's initial disinterest, to the funniest, Siffredi's concerned reaction: "This girl is crazy John, I'm afraid of this girl, I don't care how pretty she is, I don't need that in my life, okay." On a side note, if you're mostly familiar with Siffredi's more recent efforts, it can be jarring to see him this young, coming off like a less expressive Francois Papillon, before he became a porno Klaus Kinski. (I am not really a fan but I found him fairly palatable here, if not actually "good".)

Based on the claim on the DVD cover, this is supposed to be the most commercially successful entry in the series. I don't care to dig up the receipts to verify, but I would guess that success would have been driven by rising familiarity with the franchise than any particular secret sauce in this installment. On the whole, this is less formally confrontational than the earlier movie, repeating some of the same tropes but not really pushing them further or even as forcefully. The hero's presence is almost an afterthought in some of the scenes, which might as well be from traditional non-gonzo productions. There's less conscious bridging of the gap between the stars, the director and the viewer, although Spears in one scene spells out the appeal of these movies ("You wish this was you?"). But elsewhere you can see the movie codifying some of these tropes, like when the hero announces he'll go for his "patented low angle shot", and a pick-up scene with a fratboyish Tom Byron which provides an even flimsier con than the one in the original. (Byron once again leads his partner to the hero's "studio", which is obviously his bedroom. This time we can glimpse his record collection; Buster Poindexter's eponymous album figures prominently in several frames.) Whatever rawness and spontaneity that On the Prowl hoped to introduce into the genre is pretty much nonexistent here, as all the scenarios are quite contrived. I will give the movie some credit for trying to vary the atmosphere across its different sex scenes, although the attempts to class up the scenes with Whites with tinkly piano music comes up hilariously short in light of the relentless ass closeups. (The rest of the score sounds like a braindead assemblage of Casio presets.)

All that being said, once again I must concede that there's a certain potency in the movie's directness, and that the movie is quite effective on its exact terms. I think most people pick out these things on the basis of the performers, and in that sense I quite enjoyed the presence of Madison and the aforementioned Whites. The former I'd enjoyed quite a bit in Party Doll A Go-Go! and Evil Toons. In both of those, she sank her teeth into the goofy dialogue, running them through her pleasing twang and complementing them with all manner of goofy facial expressions. This role is less demanding of her acting talents, but she does get to bring some of that Madison magic as her and her friend test the patience of their fitness instructor when the neglect his suggestions in favour of posing for the hero's camera. ("Hey, you guys take your fuck-off pills today?") And Whites sells her side of the relationship between her and Siffredi (the passion is entirely one-sided, as is the charisma) and plays magnificently to the camera. I don't intend to watch too many more of this series' entries, but these two actresses made this one a worthwhile viewing.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@princesssarisa

I believe that in the Cleo Laine episode that introduced Emily Ma Bear, she went straight from the train or bus station to the theater, without stoping to take a proper rest first, so she slept because she was so tired of the travel, not because of boredom or disinterest.

She is advised to take rest before going to the theater next time, so she can properly enjoy a show of the Muppets (specially her son Fozzie).

Also, remember your headcanon that the show Muppet Babies is a fictionalization of the Muppet's time as toddlers updating the setting to the 1980s?

I also believe that the 1990s kids picture book series Muppet Kids is a similar fictionalization of the Muppets childhoods updating the setting to a 90s (mixed to 50s) idea of childhood, with the characters living in the more conventional family strutcture of being all raised by blood relatives: Gonzo lives with a grandma and aunt, Piggy with a mother, Rowlf has father and mother, Scooter and Skeeter have father and mother, Kermit has father and mother, Janice has father and mother, Animal is unclear but probably also father and mother, Bean Bunny has father and mother, and Fozzie has not only father and mother, but a younger baby brother called Freddie (with storylines about his mother going back to workforce, and discovering her pregnancy of baby Freddie and Fozzie dealing with having a sibling to share attention).

For the shows, specials and comics (that sound more like their "real life") I believe your headcanon of Emily Ma Bear being Fozzie's only close blood relative makes more sense with the themes of unconventional family structures of the franchise and opens space to the idea that Fozzie considers his friends from the nursery (and later the theater) his siblings, and during the Christmas celebrations his mother becomes a new mother figure to all the gang after Nanny's passing.

@thealmightyemprex @amalthea9 @themousefromfantasyland

Fictional Character Ask: Fozzie Bear's Mother, a.k.a Emily Ma Bear

Favorite thing about them: How spunky and lively she is despite her old age, what a loving mother she is to Fozzie, and how kind and gracious she is in A Muppet Family Christmas to give up her Malibu vacation and open her house to dozens of her son's strange friends.

Least favorite thing about them: That when she came to see The Muppet Show in the Cleo Laine episode, she fell asleep during the show despite Fozzie's eagerness to impress her. Fozzie was pretty upset about it!

Three things I have in common with them:

*I'm fairly heavyset.

*I always try to be a good hostess.

*I love Christmas, whether on a California beach or in a farmhouse in the snow.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I don't live in a farmhouse.

*I'm not a mother.

*I'm not a bear.

Favorite line: From A Muppet Family Christmas, when Doc complains about his "nice quiet Christmas" being ruined when all the Muppets crowd in:

"You think you're disappointed? I just took three months of surfing lessons for zip!"

And toward the end:

"They're weirdos, Fozzie, but they're nice weirdos."

brOTP: Her son Fozzie.

OTP: Fozzie's presumably-deceased father.

nOTP: Kermit. In the first place, he's her son's best friend, and in the second place, she can't even remember that he's a frog, not a lizard.

Random headcanon: Here are two of them.

(1) Her husband died when Fozzie was a baby. (It was a tragic hunting accident: he went out fishing at the same time a human went out bear-hunting.) As a result, she had to find full-time work to provide for Fozzie, and wasn't able to take care of him at the same time. So for a year or two she placed him in foster care with Nanny and the other Muppet Babies. She visited often, though, and she filmed the home movie shown in A Muppet Family Christmas of the babies singing "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town."

(2) To thank her for hosting all the Muppets and Sesame Street characters in A Muppet Family Christmas, Kermit gave her the role of Mrs. Fozziwig in The Muppet Christmas Carol a few years later. He had the character rewritten as Fozziwig's mother instead of his wife especially for her. This suited Fozzie just fine – he would have felt awkward pretending to be married to some random actress, and he was happy to share the screen with his Ma instead.

Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have one.

Song I associate with them:

The "Carol Sing" medley from A Muppet Family Christmas.

Favorite picture of them:

[jaimebluesq]

Tag Game:

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags

Tagged by: @fortune-maiden

In no particular order:

1) Nie Huaisang - The Undamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi - My current comfort character/obsession/character I resonate with FAR TOO MUCH. Thank you NHS for getting me back into writing fanfic!

2) Percy Weasley - Harry Potter - Not only my favourite character in the Harry Potter franchise, but the one I played the most in role-playing games on Livejournal/Insanejournal/etc. I just loved getting into his head, even when I ended up fighting (in-game) with other characters.

3) Joxer the Mighty - Xena/Hercules - Ah, Joxer, how many years did I spend with you, writing fanfic, playing around in fandom, interacting with fans, etc? You were a formative part of my entire fandom experience and I will forever be grateful to you.

4) Feng Zhiwei - The Rise of Phoenixes - this is the show that solidified my absorption into CDramas. I love this character SO FUCKING MUCH, even if her ending is sad (and Gu Nanyi, ugh, my heart!).

5) Wei Yingluo - Story of Yanxi Palace - and speaking of how I got into watching CDramas... I was playing silly emperor/concubine games on mobile and someone mentioned it was a good show, so I said what the hell, I'll give it a watch... and the rest is history.

6) Gonzo the Great - The Muppets - I can't make a list like this without mentioning what is technically the first fanfic I ever wrote, when I was in grade 5 - we were asked to write a short piece for a class assignment and I wrote an origin story for Gonzo that kind of resembled the Superman origin but funny.

7) Wesley Crusher - Star Trek: The Next Generation - Yes, I was a Wesley fangirl once upon a time. My obsession with TNG was legendary - I used to sit at my VCR every new episode and tape them, making sure to pause the recording so as to not get the commercials. I convinced my friends to sit with me, go through episodes, and memorize funny lines that we could say to each other in public areas as inside jokes. My parents even brought me to Canada's Wonderland when the ST thing first started there and I got to chat with a klingon and a vulcan after I went to the klingon and went NuqneH. OMG I feel so old LOL

8) Ianto Jones - Torchwood/Doctor Who - The tea boy stole my heart when I first saw him in a suit, but when we found out what he was hiding in the basement and witnessed his misguided loyalty to love, I was hooked. Children of Earth never happened (not because I can't stand that he died, it just wasn't a good death imho, it wasn't a brave sacrifice to save people, just fridging to give Captain Jack motivation to do what he did). (I was torn between Ianto and Donna Noble because Donna FTW, but I was one of the rare few who actually watched Torchwood before Doctor Who, so Ianto was my #1)

9) Zevran Arainai - Dragon Age - It was close between Zev and Solas (look at previous entry for clue as to why I loved Solas so fucking much), but out of all the games (Origins, 2, Inquisition), Zev was the one I romanced the most because he's just so MY TYPE. I loved the flirting, the backstory, the fact that when you get serious he backs away. Yes he can be a mouthy jackass with the overly sexual talk with the other companions, but I've legit had friends like that and they were a blast. (Add Fenris to this list and you see I have a fucking type).

10) Evie Frye - Assassin's Creed: Syndicate - I know this is def gonna be an unpopular opinion, but Syndicate is the AC game I've had the most fun playing, have played it 3 times at least all the way through, and I fucking love Evie. I love her story, her relationship with her father, her relationship with her brother, and of course the romance with Henry Green (who I would fall for too). I know it's one of the lesser popular AC games, but I don't care, I'm so happy they made it and I'm happy I got to play as Evie because she rocks.

Tagging: @clumsyelf @joeyrz @raging-red-lotus-of-qinghe

[glenngaylord]

Glenn Gaylord’s Capsules From The Bunker – Summer 2021 Lockdown Style

Like many of you, I’ve lost all concept of space and time during this lockdown era. I’d watch movie after movie, but somehow forget to write about them. I’d consume films for sustenance, but then I’d move on to the next task of cleaning a room, doing a crossword puzzle, or staring at my dog for hours on end. Thank goodness I have a few friends to have breakfast with every now and then, or else I’d have assumed I had been transported to a cabin in Montana. “Am I a film critic or a hermit?” I’d ask myself daily…that is, if I even understand what days are anymore. All of this is to say that I have a lot of catching up to do now that we’ve taken a baby step or two towards returning to some sense of normalcy. Wait a minute. What’s that? Highly transmissible variants? Back into the cave I go. While I still can, I’ve managed to blurt out a few capsule reviews of some films worth mentioning.

In Between Gays – Film Review: Summer Of 85 ★★★★

Prolific French filmmaker, François Ozon, has made a career out of finding dark crevices in the most unexpected of places. Here, with Summer Of 85, he tweaks this New Wave era gay romance just enough to upend our expectations. In pure Talented Mr. Ripley meets Call Me By Your Name meets Luca fashion, Ozon spins what could have been that sun-dappled, seaside summer that changed everything into a love that perhaps never was, zeroing in instead on a young man’s obsession for something unobtainable. Beautifully shot and acted, Ozon takes the story to more provocative places than you’d initially expect while still maintaining the boppy fizz of a great Cure song. Despite the mish mash of tones, the film has a pulse all of its own. It’ll make you swoon, pull the rug out from under you, and then make you wonder how he managed to quietly get a little twisted.

Summer Of 85 currently in select theaters, see official website for details. Released on DVD and BluRay August 17th.

Truffle In Mind – Film Review: Pig ★★★★

Writer-director Michael Sarnoski makes an auspicious feature debut with the story of a man searching for his stolen truffle-hunting pig. Caked in dirt, blood and looking not so much like a homeless man but as a person who died inside a thousand times over, Nicholas Cage gives one of his best performances ever as a man who seeks the truth at all costs. He asks his only connection to the outside world, Amir, played wonderfully by Alex Wolff, to drive him through Portland’s dark underbelly to retrieve his pet companion.

Although the film takes us to a rather unbelievable “Fight Club” moment, it generally holds its mood with credibility. It’s a great calling card, not only for Sarnoski, but also for his talented cinematographer Patrick Scola, who brings a painterly quality to every single image. The film finds beauty in a bite of food, a breath of air, or simply the compassion between two main characters who have seemingly little in common. It’s a shame the trailer elicits laughs when Cage utters lines like, “Who has my pig?” Clearly they want to sell the actor’s neo-gonzo persona, but Cage brings so much depth and seriousness to this project, only raising his voice once. He deserves the highest praise for committing to such an oddly touching, gorgeously quiet story. At risk of sounding Dad-jokey, the only thing that hogs the scenery is his porcine friend.

Pig is in theaters now.

All Is Lost – Film Review: Old ★★

In 1999, M. Night Shyamalan made a great film, The Sixth Sense, and has been chasing that dragon ever since, often to diminishing returns. His films, however, often do well because he has great concepts, a keen eye for visuals and timing, yet things always seem to turn clunky and inane real fast. With Old, he continues down that path by giving us something compelling—a group of people on a beach who age quickly—and ruining it with dialogue seemingly written by an algorithm and rendered unintelligible much of the time, while the terrific cast seem to have no idea how to make Shyamalan’s words sound any better than a high school play. A couple of sequences did make me sit up and take notice, and he uses compositions and offscreen space well, but overall, Old plays like a stretched-out episode of Lost, and like that cool but overstuffed series, you’re not gonna get very good explanations as to what transpires. Sure, the big twist works well enough on some level, but it doesn’t save you from the discomfort of watching good actors flatline in more ways than one.

Old is currently in theaters nationally.

Hi Fidel-ity – Film Review: Revolution Rent ★★★1/2

Shot in 2014, Andy Señor Jr., who played Angel on Broadway along with a host of other credits, staged the classic musical Rent in Havana during a thaw in our relations with the Communist regime. He did so against the wishes of his Cuban family, who suffered under Castro and insisted his production would merely serve as a propaganda tool for the government. He plows ahead instead, capturing the months long process in a rather artless home movie style. The aesthetics don’t carry any weight here when you have such a compelling subject matter. Witnessing his actors struggling with their performances while also living in harsh conditions adds new layers to the late Jonathan Larson’s story of squatters in the age of AIDS.

With a limited talent pool, one of whom doesn’t feel comfortable with the gay subject matter and another who lives with HIV himself, Señor finds new connections to Larson’s material as well as an affection for his heritage. What we may have taken for granted here in the US in terms of sexuality and gender expression feels like a whole new experience when seen through a Cuban lens. Señor speaks out against the Castros with quick sequences showing moments of oppression, thus preventing this film from perpetuating the lies of its government. Instead, he gifts the people of this poor, struggling country with a real sense of community and its first burst of musical theater in ages. Sure he’s a privileged westerner who dangles hope in front of people only to return to his cushy life, but he does so with heart and good intentions. You end up loving and rooting for his cast in this moving, sweet documentary.

Revolution Rent is currently streaming on HBO Max.

Do The Hustlers – Film Review: Zola ★★★★

Call me wary when I went to see a movie based on a viral twitter thread and directed by Janicza Brava, whose Sundance Award-winning short, Gregory Go Boom, proved to be not only tone deaf but downright offensive towards people with disabilities. Her new film, Zola, excels however, in ways her prior work has not. Taylour Paige, a standout in Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, plays the title character, a stripper who meets Stefani (Riley Keough) one night and is convinced to travel with her down to Florida where they can make a lot of money dancing all weekend. Things, however, do not go as planned, with Zola’s story escalating from one insane twist after another. Paige and Keough are outstanding, as are Nicholas Braun and Colman Domingo as their traveling companions. Jason Mitchell, so great in Straight Outta Compton and Mudbound, brings a wild, dangerous energy, something he shares with the film itself. It comes across as The Florida Project meets Hustlers, but with its own surreal, unexpected tone. I laughed out loud often, especially with Paige’s loopy reactions to her surroundings and the giddy, zippy energy on display. Zola chews you up, twerks on your face, and spits you out, exhausted yet anxious to see whatever this talented group of people will do next.

Zola is currently playing in select theaters and available on demand.

Banned On The Run – Film Review: There Is No Evil ★★★★

It’s impossible to review There Is No Evil without giving away its central premise, so I will avoid as much description as possible. Iranian filmmaker Mohammad Rasoulof has crafted a four-part anthology of sorts around an agonizing moral issue important to people worldwide. At the end of the first part, a stunning cut to an unforgettable visual reveals everything and allows you to watch the rest with informed eyes. Rasoulof seamlessly excels at different genres, from family drama, to action escape, to romance, weaving a tale of such depth and sorrow for its talented cast of characters.

The making of it proves as interesting at the film itself. Banned by the regime from producing feature films for two years and prohibited from traveling outside of Iran, Rasoulof, like any crafty filmmaker, came up with an ingenious plan. He slipped under the radar by calling these four short films, mostly shot in small towns far outside the reach of Tehran, and then had the final product smuggled out of the country. A filmmaker with such talent not only at telling stories, but the with ability to will his vision into existence against all odds, deserves the world’s attention.

There Is No Evil is available on DVD, BluRay and VOD now.

In Space No One Can Hear You Think – Film Review: F9: The Fast Saga ★★★

Considered review-proof, the Fast and the Furious franchise has ruled the box office for the past 20 years, so my calling its latest entry, F9: The Fast Saga, monumentally dumb will have zero influence on anyone’s decision to see it. We all know it’s big and stupid, as do the filmmakers. These films, deliver said stupid with such gusto, that you simply surrender and have a great time nonetheless. Nothing, however, prepared me, for this series to go all Moonraker, sending a car to a place no car has ever gone before. You’ll know it when you see it and probably say, “That’s ludicrous!” and also say, “That’s Ludacris!”

F9: The Fast Saga is currently playing on every screen on Earth and in select theaters throughout the universe.

[musemelodies]

The Muppets 👀👀👀

Favorite character: GONZO AND JANICE AND THE REST OF THE BAND. ALSO ROWLF AND UNCLE DEADLY.

Least Favorite character: if you asked me this like, five or so years ago, i probably would’ve said pepe, but he’s grown on me a lot since then, so i’m gonna go with andy and randy. i feel like somebody in the marketing team really loved them because they were all over muppets tonight and made it pretty extremely hard to watch at times. i can’t say that i was happy to see them again in the 2015 series. blehhh…

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): gonzo/camilla, polymayhem, bunsen/beaker, rowlf/piggy, and kermit/piggy when the writers know what they’re doing.

Character I find most attractive: JANICE AND PIGGY

Character I would marry: I WOULD SAY JANICE, BUT SHE’S A FREE SPIRIT SOOO…ROWLF 

Character I would be best friends with: ALL OF THEM, BUT ESPECIALLY THE BAND AND FOZZIE AND ROWLF

a random thought: it goes without saying, but disney needs to stop sleeping on the franchise in general

An unpopular opinion: the muppets take manhattan is just as amazing as the first two movies, man. i really like the way it’s filmed and the more down to earth tone it has and the way it handles kermit and piggy’s relationship.

My Canon OTP: BUNSEN/BEAKER (IT’S TOTALLY CANON)

My Non-canon OTP: ROWLF/PIGGY

Most Badass Character: PIGGY. FLOYD HAS HIS MOMENTS TOO. ANYBODY WHO CAN SASS PIGGY AND LIVE TO TELL THE TALE IS A TRUE BAMF. 

Most Epic Villain: UNCLE DEADLY (PRE-REDEMPTION ARC) 

Pairing I am not a fan of: kermit/piggy when the writers don’t know what they’re doing. also sam/janice was really squicky and ooc on his end and just…ewww.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): oh lord, piggy, kermit, and scooter in the 2015 series. you could really tell that his scenes were written by the folks from the b/ig b/ang t/heory. :S

Favourite Friendship: TOO MANY TO LIST

Character I most identify with: MOSTLY YOLANDA AND I HAVE MY KERMIT MOMENTS AS WELL (“yeesh…”)

Character I wish I could be: ROWLF

[globegander]

Avengers: Infinity War (Epic Unforgettable Mayhem)

+ A Spoiler-Free Review +

The Defining Moment:

“He’s from Space. He came here to steal a necklace from a Wizard.”

-Tony Stark

Plans can change and often do, especially if your plans involve a subject matter as fantastical as superheroes and a project as ludicrous as a shared cinematic universe: Directors get swapped, actors come and go, and intellectual properties are passed around. But the overall purpose of these ever-morphing plans has been roughly the same. That is, to make the above sentence make complete sense in a big-budget blockbuster movie. Ditto for it being said to an arachnid-themed teenaged vigilante by a billionaire playboy in a hot rod-inspired high-tech suit of armor.

Avengers: Infinity War is the climax of over a dozen films set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Not so much in terms of story as its plot involving a ruthless conqueror attempting to gather ancient artifacts of magnificently deadly power is as classic as it is self-contained, but as an apogee of setting and tone. The previous movies lightly hinted to the menace presented here, but superseding any duties of foreshadowing, they served to inoculate diligent viewers against the purported absurdity and specificity of high-concept genres.

The industrial intrigue fireworks of Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) bleed into the super science horror story of The Incredible Hulk (Edwart Norton then, Mark Ruffalo now) which shuffles into the far more successful human enhancement wartime escapades of Captain America (Chris Evans) who fights against his scarlet skulled twin over a mystical power source that links him and the above with the higher realms (and courtly conspiracies) of Thor’s (Chris Hemsworth) Norse Pantheon thereby permitting the exploration of the rest of the cosmos including the plucky vagabonds and freaks who eventually band together as (and try to live up to the name of) the Guardians of the Galaxy and so on and so on and so on. Thus, a stellar collective of exotic and captivating sagas, landscapes, and champions is born. It’s vast, colorful, diverse, bizarre, and very much alive, made realer and more potent with each new element that every succeeding movie sews into its fabric. And Thanos (Josh Brolin), the aforementioned tyrant and seeker of the Infinity Stones, wants to maim it.

With such a vibrant, kaleidoscopic existence in jeopardy, the threat is nothing less than total, necessitating the tearing of the all ready tenuous membranes between sub-franchises for an assembly of gonzo might that ought to chase away any doomsday despot through sheer eccentricity alone. Tragically, the path to this enormous mash-up of cyborg assassins and talking trees has been stylishly harsh on this universe’s protectors.  Infinity War brings the understatedly apocalyptic vibe of past episodes – the lost kingdoms, the fallen alliances, and the phantoms of inevitable ruin – to a virulent din that reverberates through every scene and in each character. The heroes are intriguingly scrappy, well-defined, stronger than they’ve ever been, and obviously far from their best. They’ve got their own demons to fight, there are dreams they hoped to follow, and some of them don’t even know what an Infinity Stone even is.

           Weighty baggage, but Directors Anthony and Joe Russo mine if for building blocks with which to establish an even and understandable thematic landscape, managing the odd miracle of making Infinity War the darkest hour for all these people without making the film oppressively dark. There’s still energy to spare, interesting characters to meet, and new worlds to explore, expanding the Marvel Cinematic Universe even as Gotterdamerung approaches. This wild all-encompassing frontier is rendered digestible by how the Russos and their writing crew have wisely divided the narrative into several concurrent storylines that run parallel to one another, interlock at key points, and diverge before ultimately forming a circuit where they all come together, much like the ancient gems Thanos gradually installs into his gauntlet.

The structure is ambitious given the scale of the cast and locations, and admittedly it doesn’t always work; in spite of a strong start and it being just as important as its counterparts, Captain America’s plotline with his renegade Avengers cell limps to the finale understated and uneventful in spite of the undeniable chemistry of its cast. Still, it’s a framework intrinsically fluid enough to deliver on other miscellaneous madcap crossover content to compensate. Spider-Man chases a telekinetic alien zealot through the streets of New York in pursuit of an unconscious - and flying - Doctor Strange, Star-Lord (Chris Pine) finally learns that his homeworld of Earth is lousy with superheroes when one literally runs into his ship, and Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) and his formerly isolationist city-state of Wakanda plant themselves on the frontlines as the planet’s first (and maybe even last) line of defense against an all-new extraterrestrial army. These are just broad fragments of the vivid encounters at play as rivalries, jealousies, and synergies coil and spring on a personal level. It’s also a fertile stage for supporting characters to display their strengths with the likes of Wong (Benedict Wong) and Mantis (Pom Klementieff) playing crucial roles in hectic action scenes alongside the MCU’s heaviest hitters.

Speaking of action, the skirmishes, feints, and feats of good and evil alike are in top form here. Ensemble movies like Infinity War, Age of Ultron, and Civil War are usually where these various empowered individuals group up and battle it out, providing pure visceral spectacle that none of them alone could manifest. Infinity War continues the tradition with a cavalcade of clashing and combined abilities hitherto unseen on the big screen. Singular standouts include the latest suit of Iron Man armor, a nanomachine shell that can fabricate a number of weapons, gadgets, and other accouterments on the fly and Doctor Strange’s (Benedict Cumberbach) expanded repertoire of curses and constructs. The Infinity Stones themselves also provide plenty of world-bending flair, creating vast illusions, compressing space into armaments, shredding time, and altering reality itself in delightfully twisted manners befitting the villain’s brutal and capricious nature. A little more polish on the CGI (particularly on some of the closer shots on what are clearly computer-generated costumes) wouldn’t have been unappreciated, but these are just slight hiccups that are quickly superseded by framing and choreography of the bedlam.

The premium placed on theatrics and the simple - if layered - plot allows returning characters to easily catch up to the calamity at hand and each has their own treacherous route to undertake as they try to gain headway in the race for the Infinity Stones. These are entertaining enough with Robert Downey Jr as the apparent crux of the whole affair as his Tony Stark finally gets a chance to face off with his ultimate nightmare of starborne Avenger-killers while contending with an unwanted funhouse Batman & Robin dynamic when he discovers that Spider-Man (Tom Holland bringing believable eagerness and competing wit yet again to Peter Parker) has tagged along for the interstellar ride to galactic Armageddon. However, it’s Thanos who is the bleak heart of the story whose beat its knaves and do-gooders dance to. Despite appearing in other movies, this is the Mad Titan’s first true foray into the spotlight and Josh Brolin doesn’t waste a moment to make you want more of this purple, raisin-chinned megalomaniac. Surprisingly expressive in his digital visage and mocap body language, he sweeps through a grand span of emotional zestfulness.

He’s an absolute monster in a brawl – outsmarting juggernauts, bringing gods to their knees, and using each Infinity Stone to its most deviant utilization -  but can appear approachable and even fragile at points when the strain of his centuries-long quest briefly overcomes him. For all his flukes of joviality and etiquette, he is perpetually intimidating. One is never quite sure if he’s going to simply pat you on the shoulder or rip off the whole limb to make a statement, an ambiguity that is enhanced by the fact that he is most definitely insane, motivated by a distorted sense of purpose that nicely complements his deceptive onscreen charisma.

Putting aside its 149-minute running time, Avengers: Infinity War ultimately feels like two similar, but fundamentally different movies. The first one is for longtime or even infrequent fans, a staggering culmination of intertwined character arcs and earnest worldbuilding that dives into a gargantuan conflict that they have long-expected, but are not quite ready for. The second movie is arguably the rarer and more precious of the two, the one complete newcomers will stumble into: a dense tidal wave of cinematic sights and sounds loaded with impossible acrobatics, dreamlike vistas, peculiar creatures, flamboyant technologies, and a  myriad of ludicrous combatants. Those who watch the former movie will doubtlessly be pleased with Infinity War. The ones lucky or unfortunate enough to see the latter? I can’t really say much about their reactions other than the lack of prior MCU exposure will ensure that they will have never seen anything quite like Infinity War before and that its foundations are stalwartly solid to the point that they’ll still wind up caring about who perishes and who prevails. 

Oh, and they’re also guaranteed to enjoy the single greatest Peter Dinklage cameo of all time. That’s a promise.

[aion-rsa]

Venom: Let There Be Carnage Review

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Grading on a curve always raised mixed emotions when I was in school. If I didn’t know the subject as well as I should, it could be a godsend—the stay of execution from a grade card hangman. When I actually knew what I was doing, however, the bell curve was a curse, dragging even whole classes down. A similar nagging dilemma occurs while watching Venom: Let There Be Carnage: Is showing the most improvement in its franchise’s brief history the same thing as not failing?

Technically, this goofy muddle of a sequel is a significant step up from the absolutely mind-numbing mediocrity that was 2018’s Venom. But when you’re starting from deeper than six feet in the hole, climbing up to still subterranean conditions doesn’t really feel like progress. Yes, Venom 2 is better than the first Venom, but then so are trips to the dentist.

While Venom: Let There Be Carnage now features two Oscar nominees slumming for a paycheck instead of one—even three when you recall Michelle Williams also stopped by the set for a few days—we’re nonetheless left with a rote pseudo-superhero movie with the passion of an algorithm. There are now a few genuinely bonkers comedy bits that almost realize the gonzo spectacle Tom Hardy undoubtedly dreamed of when he contributed to the screenplay, but it’s still a whole lot of spinning wheels. Only this time, to paraphrase Venom, there’s also “a red one” rotating in place.

The “red one” in question is named Carnage, and he’s a thick layer of unconvincing CGI sludge which has been applied to Woody Harrelson. See, Harrelson plays Cletus Kasady, the serial killer we were teased in the last movie’s post-credits scene. Kasady’s on death row for doing some very naughty things, and the only fella he’s willing to talk to is Hardy’s Eddie Brock, a redeemed San Francisco journalist who’s still secretly attached to the brain-eating symbiote called Venom.

And wouldn’t you know it, that black Venom ooze is pregnant, not that the film’s barebones screenplay ever really explains how that works. In fact, even Venom seems oblivious to the existence of the “red one,” including after it gives birth to it the same day Kasady bites Eddie’s finger through prison bars. Whoopsie. Instead of dying by lethal injection, Kasady becomes consumed by the Carnage symbiote and begins a slicing and dicing killing spree. Presumably. But honestly, this movie has the same amount of gore and violence as Mr. Freeze’s rampage in Batman & Robin.

That is one story which Venom: Let There Be Carnage tries to tell. Yet in spite of its slightest of 90 minutes running time, there are several more hats the film tries on, and one of them I enjoyed a whole hell of a lot more. While the film is marketed around Carnage’s overhyped night on the town, there’s a far more demented breakup comedy at play beneath the goo.

Indeed, the vast majority of Hardy’s interest seems to not lie in “the Lethal Protector” business from the comics, but rather Venom as a one-man Abbott and Costello routine. After three years of being roommates in the same body, it seems Eddie and Venom need a break, and the inner-Nicolas Cage ham inside of Hardy relishes getting to let his B-movie hair down in those scenes. More relaxed as Eddie, and visibly less concerned with the character being likable, he uses his real face to play a pitiful straight man to his vocal performance over the digital oil spill with teeth. He even lets what sounds like a few Bane-isms from The Dark Knight Rises slip through.

It’s dumb, but one never doubts Hardy is attacking the “breakup” scene with as much sound and fury as Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson in Marriage Story, only it’s much funnier when here we have the sight of Hardy punching himself in the face. Similarly, the scene where the Venom symbiote is single and ready to mingle at a vaguely LGBTQ+ bar is the stuff Tumblr meme dreams are made of.

Is this the Venom movie I would’ve ever asked for? Not at all. Is it the Venom movie diehard fans of the character imagined for decades in their heads? I highly doubt it. But on its own terms, it’s pretty entertaining in the same way a New Line Cinema family film from the ‘90s might be. Think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Venom Ooze. Unfortunately, that’s only about a third of Venom 2’s 80 minutes of non-credits content.

Much less successful is everything to do with Carnage, and a surprisingly limp subplot involving the backstory of Cletus Kasady and Naomie Harris’ wicked Shriek. One suspects director Andy Serkis or an executive somewhere in the bowels of Sony pitched this subplot as akin to Harrelson’s infamous work in Natural Born Killers. But when both characters are so neutered, and Shriek just so underwritten in general, then any grander ambitions are moot.

I’ll admit I’ve never been a fan of the Carnage character. Like Venom as a hero, the red symbiote creation always felt like just another excess of ‘90s comics and their grim-dark nonsense. Did Spider-Man comics really need an R-rated serial killer? With that said, if you’re going to go for Carnage, go for it. Because in his current state, the villain’s mostly off-screen murder and mayhem donn’t feel that far removed from how Carnage was realized on Spider-Man: The Animated Series back in the ‘90s.

In the end, the one virtue the whole movie rests a little too heavily on is the conviction of its cast. While its two leads of Hardy and Harrelson are not above taking a role for a payday (clearly), they’re way too good to ever phone it in. Each performer is wholly committed to building these absurd, cartoon characters.

But when both men have their scenes drowned out by an ugly, relentless sea of computer-generated gunk, who’s to care? I doubt the audience. They’ll be too busy talking about the post-credits scene to even realize they’ve forgotten the rest of it in the five seconds it takes to reach the auditorium’s door.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage opens in theaters on Friday, Oct. 1.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Venom: Let There Be Carnage Review appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3upmm1E

[ariel-seagull-wings]

FICTIONAL CHARACTER ASK: KERMIT THE FROG

Asked by @cjbolan

@softlytowardthesun @princesssarisa @thealmightyemprex @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @amalthea9 @moonbeamelf @goodanswerfoxmonster

Favorite Thing About Them: I love how he mixes melancholy, introversion, romanticism and idealism with a dry sense of humour, uptightiness and irritability as a character who has to find his own growth while leading a diverse and chaotic group of people to find the artistic potential in their qualities that otherwise are rejected as "abnormalities" in the rest of the world.

Least Favorite Thing About Them: Besides that one episode of The Muppet Show where he ignored that you must pay your workers every year, learning the backstage story that his second puppeteer, Steve Whitmire, let the fact that he played Kermit get so over his head that he started mistreating colleagues and had to be fired because of that is just so terrible.

Three Things I Have In Common With Them:

*I can be a melancholic introvert.

*I would like to make other people happy trough art.

*I love the theater and music.

Three Things I Don't Have In Common With Them:

*I'm not a frog.

*I don't play the banjo.

*I can't handle the pressure of leading a huge group of people like he can.

Favorite Line:

From episodes of The Muppet Show

"Good grief, the comedian is a bear!"

"Pay Day? Again? It was Pay Day last year! Seems to be getting to be a habit around here."

"Me not crazy? I hired the others."

From The Muppet Movie

"Who sayed that wishes would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star?

Someone tought of that and someone believed it.

Look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

The lovers, the dreamers and me."

"Hollywood. Gee. I'd miss this old swamp, but... Millions of people happy."

From The Great Muppet Caper

"It's just... sort of amusing that the roast beef is the same prince as an Oldsmobile..."

brOTP: Rowlf the Dog, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo and Scooter.

OTP: Miss Mousie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo.

nOTP: Denise from the 2015 ABC series The Muppets.

Random Headcanon: He started studying publicity and worked as a newspaper reporter before deciding that directing, producing and performer in theater, TV and film was his calling.

Unpopular Opinion:

1° In 2011, the Disney studios demanded that from them on, the brazilian dub refered to the character in his original american name, Kermit, instead of Caco, as he was known here for decades. I get using that name in the original language and when writing about the character, but for me, watching a production of the franchise, he will forever be Caco.

2° Not wanting to diminish the talent and effort of other puppeteers, but after listening Brian Henson perform so many roles competently and become a talented Muppeteer in his own right rather than just relying on "being Jim Henson's son and heir", I wish that he stepped up to try doing the role of Kermit.

Song I Associate With Them:

It's not Easy Being Green

Frog Went a Courtin

Yet, I Still Love You

Rainbow Connection

Movin Right Along

One more Sleep 'till Christmas

Love Led Us Here

Favorite Picture of Them:

Tales of the Tinkerdee

With Robin (inside the basket) in The Frog Prince

In the desk at the Muppet Show

As a baby

Chilling in the garden

Playing his banjo in the swamp

Riding his bycicle

Testing a movie câmera

Posing for the wedding portrait with Miss Piggy

Hugged by his dear friend, Jim Henson

[dweemeister]

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Like a security blanket to bundle into on a cold, distressed day, the Muppets have been a force of happiness and entertainment for several decades. 1979′s The Muppet Movie had been a rousing success, as had The Muppet Show – which had just completed its fifth and final season when Jim Henson directed (his directorial debut) The Great Muppet Caper. This second Muppets movie was an attempt to steer the franchise towards its future: feature films (Caper is the second of eight Muppets films so far) and television specials. The Great Muppet Caper does not result in a sophomore slump for the franchise, but there is an important tradeoff that occurs in the film. As Henson created the Muppets, it should be no surprise that this entry represents one of the more faithful portrayal of the Muppets as characters (to an extent). However, this comes at the expense of the heartwarming humanism and messages of perseverance that one comes to expect in a movie starring the Muppets.

More than any other movie in the Muppets franchise, The Great Muppet Caper topples the fourth wall repeatedly. In fact, it happens so often there might not be a fourth wall. Traveling by hot air balloon, Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and Gonzo are commenting on the opening credits – yes you three, some weirdos out there read the opening credits (it includes yours truly, and like Kermit says, the people in the credits have families, too) – and land their balloon just outside their workplace: the Daily Chronicle. The trio are investigative reporters and are tasked with a London assignment where fashion designer Lady Holiday (Diana Rigg) has become victim to a headline-grabbing jewel robbery. With the Daily Chronicle refusing to cover expenses, our Muppet reporters fly in ninth-class (which apparently means the airplane’s cargo hold, with a dangerous method of disembarkation) and check into the battered, but free Happiness Hotel. There they meet up with the rest of tenants – which includes the rest of the Muppets, save one. That one is Miss Piggy, who Kermit mistakes as Lady Holiday and will ask out on a date.

The other human star of note is Charles Grodin as Nicky Holiday. Cameos include John Cleese, Joan Sanderson, Jack Warden, Peter Falk, Robert Morley, Peter Ustinov, and Muppet performers including Henson (Kermit, Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Waldorf, Swedish Chef), Richard Hunt (Scooter, Statler, Janice, Beaker, and Sweetums), and Jerry Nelson (Floyd Pepper; originated Sesame Street’s Mr. Snuffleupagus and played Count von Count from 1972-2012). One Sesame Street character makes a brief, hilarious cameo with Peter Ustinov.

There are running gags in The Great Muppet Caper that I should not describe in the slightest. In writing a movie for the Muppets, there are two formulae to choose from: the Muppets playing themselves as they look at a tricky situation through their point of view (think: The Muppet Movie and 2011′s The Muppets) and where the Muppets are playing characters that, though somewhat unlike them, retain a part of their Muppety essence (1992′s The Muppet Christmas Carol). The Great Muppet Caper is the latter (even after seeing four Muppet movies, some of the original television series, and the failed 2015 TV series, I’m not sure which I prefer; perhaps you have a preference). The most important joke running throughout the film is that the characters know that they are in a movie and the characters they are portraying are distinct from the Muppets themselves. For example, Kermit and Fozzie are supposed to be related and screenwriters Jerry Juhl (multiple Muppets movies), Tom Patchett (The Bob Newhart Show, ALF), Jack Rose (a longtime writer for Milton Berle and Bob Hope), and Jay Tarses (Bob Newhart, The Carol Burnett Show) – with their formidable, combined comedic writing experience – somehow keep that gag fresh, among others, for the entire ninety-seven minutes.

This film is clever as hell. Its screenplay lands its jabs to the funnybone cleanly, almost never missing. Yet that means as The Great Muppet Caper is reveling in its comedy, the Muppets themselves lose their trademark gentleness and belief that tomorrow is a fresh start to dream, laugh, and play. That positivity – with the exception of The Muppet Christmas Carol – is always embodied by the characters made of felt, fur, and fleece. The Muppets have become so familiar to those of us who have enjoyed their company, and that is why they are allowed to be as self-referential here as they are. Few other comedians or comedic pairings/groups could plausibly make a movie like this and inspire so much laughter.

I don’t mean to sell the writing short, so I will note that The Great Muppet Caper treats Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy with tremendous respect. These are the two people Kermit the Frog has always cared most about; through playing other characters, we see how that love is expressed.

Fozzie is not always effective in The Muppet Movie as he should be – that film portrays Fozzie’s inability to read social cues as a character quirk, not as something that brings disappointment, wrecking his self-confidence. Notice how Fozzie reacts when he believes that when Kermit is going on a date with Lady Holiday Miss Piggy – how innocent this misunderstanding is, how deeply Fozzie is hurt at first when Kermit says that his furry relative (remember, in this film, they are related) can’t come along.

For Miss Piggy, her vanity and volatility are more visible than her vulnerability. As Frank Oz (her performer) once said about Miss Piggy, “she is a seething mass of conflicts... It’s hard enough being a woman in our society. It’s even harder being a pig.” So determined is she to be successful in whatever she decides to pursue, she sometimes forgets the feelings of others she comes to care about. At a younger age, I found this behavior to be frustrating – I’m a guy, so a gendered bias is also involved. Thus, when her misunderstanding with Kermit comes, I felt a sadness there I might not have felt fifteen, maybe even five years ago. Her defenses have fallen, exposed and embarrassed. She and Kermit find a space to reconcile.

That reconciliation, and so many elements to the plot, is expressed through song. Composer Joe Raposo (various pre-Muppet Show Muppet specials, The Electric Company, Sesame Street) wrote all seven original songs appearing in The Great Muppet Caper – none of them mediocre, yet not a single one achieves the transcendence of “Rainbow Connection”. What makes Raposo’s musical score work is that – without the Muppets running around – if these songs were written for humans, they would still be as effective. Opening with “Hey, a Movie!” is a high-energy, exposition-hastening number, even if it might be a discount “That’s Entertainment!”. “Steppin’ Out with a Star” is a fun romp of what some men might do to prepare for a date – the dialogue and banter, of course, being G-rated. But the one song gifted with lush orchestrations is “The First Time It Happens”. It is played as a straight love song, with all the tenderness that Kermit and Miss Piggy can provide with their singing voices. Shortly afterward, Miss Piggy channels her inner Esther Williams in a synchronized swimming sequence entitled “Miss Piggy’s Fantasy” (complete with Dick Powell-like singing from someone dubbing Charles Grodin). Raposo’s familiarity with the Muppets pays dividends for The Great Muppet Caper.

That old saying about something not happening before pigs fly? You might need to update that to pigs performing complicated choreography in the pool. For this scene, eighteen professional swimmers were employed with all lighting, camerapersons, and speakers being placed underwater. Frank Oz had three days to learn scuba diving so that he could have Miss Piggy perform these sequences to perfection.

With Jim Henson directing, there are other ways in which the Muppet performers – Henson, Oz, Jerry Nelson, Richard Hunt, Dave Goelz, and Steve Whitmire – are allowed to show off. Where Kermit riding a bike impressed audiences and critics a few years prior, Henson figured that he might as well have all the Muppets riding bikes at the same time. For the musical number, “Couldn’t We Ride”, no computers were used. Instead, all of the Muppet performers clambered into cranes and rode bicycles of their own – attached to the Muppets’ bikes – while synchronizing their pedaling with the music and lyrics. Kermit’s stunt where he is riding his bike with only one hand included some complicated string puppetry. The final sequence where everybody is seen riding together saw Henson and two children (including one of his sons) riding oversize tricycles attached to the Muppets’ bikes with rods to complete the illusion.

Because The Great Muppet Caper knows that it is a movie and that it actively recalls Hollywood’s musical past, it comes off comforting nostalgia that neither alienates younger viewers or distracts older ones. It lacks that clear-eyed humanity of other Muppets movies, but this film has what one would want from Kermit, Miss Piggy, and company as it preserves what is essential to these characters: humor, vibrancy, and reassurance. Though we laugh at their pain (pain is funny), we witness how courageous they are in remaining optimistic through their struggles. As we watch the Muppets, we question if we are capable of such fortitude. I tend to think we already know the answer – sometimes, we just need a reminder.

My rating: 7.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.