#gonna take a small break rn might post later

[arttrampbelle]

Im sick of good guys winning in mortal kombat. For once. Just once. Like just one game. I want shang to ACTUALLY WIN. Or some other bad guy. (Tho i feel this game will be a big middle finger to shang tsung fans 😔)

It's sad that is such a hard concept to understand. Like to anyone who loves bad guys or playing as bad guys. Im sorry this game wont be for you. Most likely. Especially if you're a shang fan like me. Again people say "oh but he bodied people" we dont know that trailers lie all the time. Mk11 lied about dark raiden actually being a threat. And look where this led. Considering how arrogant liu kang sounds. I bet you,no scratch that,I KNOW he's gonna fall down the same path or worse. And they are gonna pull some bullshit.

They do this to get our hopes up to give them money. So untill actual gameplay is shown or actual cutscenes is show the trailer shows nothing.

But as shang fans,we can just make our own Kontent at this point because we're not gonna get shit. And i know that.

At least i have the games that i can about. And the media where my fave game villain is written with some decent respect. :') 😔

I'm just sad now guys. And i dunno if I'll post any kontent for y'all rn. Maybe later or maybe when i feel better.

I need some time ok. Hope you understand.

[beomsjoongie]

⌗fill the void⌗

genre: smut, San x Reader

warnings: I’ll update later, but praising, slight overstim, pussy eating, drunk/tipsy sex, fingering, drinking, clubbing (2.3k words)

a/n: hey!!! it’s been a while.. uhh but I’m back and I’m gonna try and post more. college is about to start again and I really might be busy but I will try to post a lot before then to make up for lost time AND to make up for time that I wont have while I’m in class. Uhh, I was working on a mingi story but I lost motivation but I hope to get it back!! let’s just hope that I can be more consistent!! that’s all for rn, see you next time, enjoy! <333

You lie on your back, facing the ceiling. You’ve been like this for days; not wanting to get up and do anything. Your friends had been blowing up your phone before showing up and letting themselves in.

Now standing around you, both of your friends sighed, “Come on, Y/n. You can’t lay here forever.” Your redhaired friend, Andrea, spoke out, gesturing to your state. “Get up.” She started to pull your arm but you made sure to force your weight down.

Letting out and putting her hand on her other forehead, your other friend spoke. “Y/n,” she sat on your messy bed, “We love you. And us letting you stay like this, is basically saying that we don’t. Cheating sucks. Trust us, we both know.” Emery rubbed your hand.

You turned to look at her with tears eyes, “But, I loved him.” You started to cry again. Emery looked at Andrea with a sigh. “But we love you more, Y/n. And not only does this break up hurt you but it hurts us.” Emery stood up again. “Yeah, it hurts to see you like this. All sad and sluggish. That’s why we want to help you.”

You groaned, putting a pillow on your face but getting it snatched off almost immediately. “How are you going to help me? I’m helpless.”

“We’re gonna take you out. Remember how I got cheated on last year and you guys forced me to go out the next day. I wasn’t even allowed to be sad.” Emery reminded.

It was true. It was your idea in the first place. Suggesting to go out to a club and drink the night away until she forgot about her ex who cheated on her with her brother. Yes.. her own blood brother.

“Now, get up.” Andrea said. You sat up, before getting pulled out of bed by Emery and Andrea. You look back at my bed, half eaten chips bags and bottles on it. It was a mess. “You can clean that later. Go get in the shower. Wash everything, shave everything, make sure you smell like your about to get your ass ate. Go.” She said pushing me in the bathroom.

“But I don’t have clo-“ You started to speak. “We’ll find you some. Shower.” Emery said and closed the door. They looked in my closet as I showered. You shaved your body, and used my most expensive products.

I stepped out of the bathroom, in a towel. “You smell so much better.” Andrea said with a smile. I went to speak but closed my mouth and furrowed my eyebrows. “No offense.” She cracked a small smile before looking at Emery.

“Anyways, get dressed. We’ll do your makeup when you’re done!” Emery pushed you back in the bathroom with the clothes. Sighing, you put the clothes on. You looked in the mirror and shook your head.

This dress was short and tight. Not to mention, it having no straps and showing the right amount of cleavage while it also had a large dip in the back which stopped just above your ass.

Walking out, Emery and Andrea looked at you and screamed. “You look so good! So much better than those sweatpants.” Andrea hugged you. You started to feel a little better about yourself, forgetting about your ex.

A smile played on your face as Emery sat you down. “It’s time to put my cosmetology degree to work.” She got out her makeup, Andrea sitting me down in a chair.

After about an hour sitting in the chair with Enemy beating your face and doing your hair, you were finally ready. Andrea went to change while she did your makeup. Emery was done and left to go get her outfit on herself, already having her makeup on.

Andrea handed you a pair of black heels, and stood you up. Emery came out of the bathroom fixing her hair. “Are we ready?”

“Where are we going?” I asked the two girls in front of me. “To the club. Now, come on. Go, go.” Andrea gestured for me to walk. Soon enough, we were at the club. It was around 11:30 and the girls were ready to get blackout drunk. You on the other hand, just wanted to forget about your ex and maybe get a little tipsy.

About 30 minutes in to actually getting there, your friends had already left to dance and flirt with the guys there. Sitting at the bar, and taking a shot, a buff guy walks up and orders two drinks. After getting his drinks, he slid one to you.

You look up to see the cat-eyed man. He smiled at you, “You looked lonely.” He smiled and took a sip of his alcohol. His smile seemed warm, so you wasted no time to take a sip as well. “I’m San, by the way.”

“I’m Y/n.” You shook his hand with a smile. It was soft and a little cold. Letting go, the smile stayed on your face.

“So, why are you here, Y/n? Why are you all alone?” He asked. All of the feelings and hurt suddenly started to rush back into my brain. San noticed the hurt on my face. “Hey, are you ok? I’m sorry, did I-“

“No, it’s fine. Trust me. It’s just that, uh, my boyfriend kind of cheated.. and I’m not here alone. I just didn’t wanna dance with my friends.” You let out a short laugh. He nodded his head, understandingly.

Taking another sip of my drink, he began to speak again, “well, maybe we can dance together?” He proposed. I smiled to him, shaking my head with a smile. “Please, I can make you forget about him. And, a bonus, I get to dance with a pretty girl.”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach hearing the compliment. It didn’t take long for you to think about it and for you to be on the dance for with San. The music was loud and fun, both of you laughing and having a good time. You’d both go back and forth from the bar to dancing, which ended up making you very tipsy.

In the middle of a very upbeat and happy song, the Dj switched the song to a more sensual and slower song. San’s hands gripped onto your hips, bringing them to his hips; his hips were carved perfectly for your ass. His hands were big, strong, rough and still a little cold. You didn’t even notice your friends watching you and him from the other corner of the room, giggling and smiling while still talking to the boys they’re with.

San was more tipsy than you; some could just say actually drunk. But in his drunken state, San was still able to take notice of how your body felt. How you were still so tense. “Hey, you’re tense. Let me make you forget.” His lips were close to your ear, his voice ringing in your ears. You look back at him, nodding your head.

Not really caring where he took you, San led you out of the club building, and into his car. As he started to drive, his hand rubbed up and down your thigh, finally feeling the roughness of his callused hand.

It felt like forever until you pulled up to a big white house. Before you could reach for the handle, San opened the door for you, helping you out. and in your tipsy state, you could tell how much San was holding back.

San opened the door, holding your hand. If he was honest, he didn’t know how he was able to not push you on the couch and fuck your brains out right there.

He led you upstairs, and into his room when he finally had enough. He turned you around, gently pushing you onto his bed. A small gasp left your lips when he took his shirt off and climbed on top of you.

You had to admit, it was a really nice view. His tones abs, muscles and his perfectly sculpted face had your panties soaked. “Let me take your mind off everything. Please.” His question came out as a beg. I nodded my head.

That was all he needed to start kissing down your neck and onto your chest. He grabbed onto the dress, at the top, and pulled it down. When he uncovered your boobs, he didn’t waste time to sucking on them. He started with the left one. His tongue prodding at your nipple while his hand groped your other boob, pinching your other nipple.

You bit your lips back at his tongue and fingers. “Let me hear you,” he lifted his head up, only to go back to it. My jaw dropped as he switched to the other nipple. Moans flowed out of your mouth as he continued.

He lifted his head and pulled the dress all the way down to your ankles. His lips teased your thighs, kissing on both. You sat on your elbows, looking at him. “San, please.“ You whimpered.

“Tell me what you want, princess.” He kissed closer to your dripping pussy. A sigh left your lips, “your mouth, your lips, anything.” He let out a stifled groan at your begging.

“Ok, princess, anything for you.” His smirk grew as he pulled down your wet panties. “You’re soaking wet, baby.” He smirks. He didn’t want you to suffer too long, yet, so he immediately pushed your legs to your chest.

His tongue dove deep into your wet and sparkling cunt, his nose poking and slightly rubbing against your clit. A loud moan leaving your lips. You grabbed onto his hair, tugging on it. “S-san. Ah!” You moaned when he pulled out his tongue and nibbled on your clit.

“You’re doing so well, baby.” He smiled at you. Your legs were shaking the smallest amount. Heat spread throughout your body as well as San’s. You threw your head back as you felt the coil in your abdomen get tighter and tighter until it finally snapped.

You came in San’s mouth with a moan. Your juices were spread out on his which was now dribbling down his chin. “Wanna know how good you taste?” He asked before kissing you. You both continued to kiss while he was unbuckling his pants, throwing them down.

He grabbed your legs, wrapping them around his waist. “I’m gonna fuck you so raw, so deep. I’m gonna fill that void inside of you, ok?” His finger fucked you for a few seconds to prep you for his cock.

It wasn’t small but it wasn’t big. And its thickness made up for that. His tip was a darker shade of pink from being trapped in his jeans for too long. Just seeing it made you clench around nothing.

He sucked his fingers, tasting more of you. “You taste so good, baby. Are you ready?” He asked. “I’m ready. Please fuck me dumb.” You begged for him.

“So, good for me.” He pushed his cocked in, bottoming out immediately. Your hands flew to his back, grasping onto it desperately. Read marks already coming up as you scratched down his back. He hissed. “Can I move?” He asked, pushing hair out of your face.

“Yes, please.” You whined. He started to move his hips into yours. High pitched moans slowly came out. Your heels dug into his lower back, but that didn’t last for long. He took your legs off from his hips, putting your legs on his shoulders. He picked up the pace, fucking into you deep like he said.

He watched as your face morphed and whines and begs came out of mouth. Your mind was fuzzy and all you felt was his cocked ramming into your cervix. Your back arched, almost lifting you up a bit.

You could now feel the vein popping out in his cock which just added extra pleasure to your core. “S-San, fuck! Shit,” you drug out as his hips hit harder and faster.

“I’m keeping my promise aren’t I?” He asked. You could barely even remember his promise. All that you could focus on, was how good his cock felt in your pussy. And all that you could hear were wet sounds, his groans and your moans bouncing off the walls. Overstimulation was starting to get to you, but it was too nice to tell him to stop.

“Fucking you so good. You like it don’t you?” He asked, that stupid smirk on his face. “I love it, San. Your cock is so good,” you moaned harshly, grabbing the sheets. You gasped as you felt your core tighten again, “I-I’m cumming. San!” Your broken moans echoed through his house. He giggled at your broken state, fucking you through your climax.

He kept going just a little longer to push himself over the edge. He rammed his cock deeper, one more time, cumming inside of you. You didn’t even care. His cum filling you up was all you needed.

You noticed the silence, looking at San. He was watching as your mixed cum dripped out of your pussy. Your chest heaved up and down. He saw you looking at him, making his cheeks turn red. “Sorry.” He laughed and got off the bed to get a wet rag. He wiped you off as you legs felt like jelly.

“Are you alright?” He asked and you nodded with a smile. He smiled as well, “you seem like you needed it.” He grabbed extra clothes from his closet. He handed you some clothes.

“I did. Thank you, San.” He nodded his head and went downstairs. You got dressed, watching the door, wondering where he is. He suddenly came back in with some water. “Oh, thank you.”

“Of course. It’s the least I could do.” He sat beside you on his bed. “Do you wanna go out sometimes..maybe?” He asked you. You laughed at his question. He seemed really nervous to ask. “Yeah, of course.” You smiled, making his sigh a relief.

[frogletscribe]

A:FoP Sky Breaker DLC Thoughts...

Alright so i finished the main story of the DLC and have let my thoughts cook for a minute. This is just some of my thoughts/opinions overall. I will have to do a separate post for my more intense thoughts because I managed to actually hit the character limit and I wasn't even halfway through everything (i didn't even know tumblr had one of those and I've been on here for over a decade)

Spoilers for Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora Sky Breaker DLC under the cut.

The opening? Gorgeous. Amazing. Fantastic. Obsessed with the little cut scene of our Sarentu on their Ikran. I am in love. I was really pleasantly surprised to see Kin right off the bat too! Thats my grandpa, i love him! And then walking with the Zakru and getting to hear other NPCs talking was really nice. I loved the banter about So'lek.

Getting into the main games camp was visually very pretty but confusing. I got lost immediately (distracted by the wandering Zakru) and accidently came in from the back? and then proceeded to not be able to find anything or anyone. I kept getting turned around and winding up back with Etuwa and Ka'nat. I did eventually find everyone else but it was a struggle.

Was Eetu only there at the very start??? He was hanging out with So'lek and having a very cute banter and then as everything progress he completely disappeared. Sosul too for that matter. It made me a little worried when he wasn't there after a while bc it felt like almost all the other key npcs got at least a small cameo in other quests but not Eetu? I got paranoid he died but also i think hes an important enough NPC that someone else would have said something if that was the case. I guess i just wanted more of him in general. (Im biased/delusional and ship him with my Sarentu, i will take literally anything)

Theres also a smaller moment, walking around where Teylan calls and starts talking about Nor, about how he would have loved the games, that really got me. For a second i actually thought Nor might come back later in the story, but given how things went it makes sense that he wouldnt. I do really hope that Nor shows up in the next DLC because I really need closure for him. He deserves to see and be a part of what his fellow Sarentu are building and to heal from all the hurt he has been through.

Can the Zeswa PLEASE catch a break? 😭 First the arches are collapsed, then Pasuk, now this?? I need this to be the last big bad thing that happens to them for a while.

More So'lek all the time please! I love him. I loved his role in the over all story and how he helps us throughout the final mission. He is the reason i am desperate for a romance in this game, but i can't have that so i'll just have to write it myself fhdjskghfs

I will be making a separate post about my thoughts on everything with Alma and Mokasa.

With the last of TAP (more or less) gone now, I'm really curious about the next DLC and the general future of Frontiers. Secrets of the Spires comes out in Fall, which is rapidly approaching, but i doubt we will hear anything until like September at the earliest. I think I remember hearing about a new clan in the new area for that one?? (Could be wrong though) Im really curious what the plot for that one is gonna be now that Mercer and Harding are gone.

Hopefully we will see Nor again. I'm kinda also hoping for a movie cameo? like Norm or Max showing up? We got an audio cameo of Ardmore, i think it'd be cool to see some friendly faces or at least audio for one of those guys. I don't think we will get a Jake cameo but i would lose my mind if we did lol.

Im also really hoping that theres more content coming in the future? More DLC or comics or something cause AFoP is the only thing keeping me sane when it comes to Avatar Brainrot rn.

[calcrimthebreadgod]

Rn I’m just working on making the bare bones of the main mechanics this game will have (office stuff, cameras, generator) and I think I’m just going to stick with this design for the office for now. This is my first proper attempt at building something like this in blocksworld so it probably won’t look great but I want to mostly focus on making the game feel alright to control. I’m using IOS blocksworld for this all so there’ll be buttons on-screen in most of the screenshots

I’m going to keep the barricades from Danger Keep Out and I’ll add the controlled shock system at some point later today, but for now I just wanted to show off how it’ll look. The longer an animatronic stands outside the doorway, the more planks will be removed. I’ll probably also reduce the number of planks on later nights, but tbh nothing in this is set in stone right now. I’m just gonna throw stuff at the wall that I think might work well and I’ll see what sticks with y’all

Probably the part I’m most annoyed by is the computer screen. I want to display the battery usage and time on it but the design of the monitor feels awkward, so if anyone else uses blocksworld and has any ideas for redesigns, please tell me your ideas. The screen’s just 3x3 units so it’ll have to fit to that size though. Also my plan for the game is for one animatronic to be introduced each night, so I think I’ll use the poster in the office to signal which one was just activated. I know I said this would be a reimagining of fnaf 1, but I’m honestly split on whether I should use the fnaf 1 animatronics or make characters based on the poster images in the game (I can’t upload custom textures so everything in the game has to use blocksworld’s textures)

Bit of a long, rambly post since this is the first one, but I’ll probably just make small posts about this afterward. Again, this is my first proper project on blocksworld so it probably won’t turn out great, but hopefully it’ll at least be comfortable to control and newcomer-friendly. Main priority is making sure the game isn’t easy to break just by pressing buttons too quickly

Also the screenshots look weird bc I’m using blocksworld’s screenshot button rather than taking normal screenshots. In the game the vignette is pitch black

[shinjaeha]

ipytm ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

this is going to be a tough post for me to do bc honestly...this ep just left me feeling so run down. i know that the cast and crew have always strived for realism and authenticity with this series, but this one was just a lot to take in :/ my thoughts are gonna be even more all over the place than usual but idec at this point. having to rewatch this ep again is really fucking hard (even harder than itsay ep 4 bc even though that makes my heart ache, i still feel some sense of satisfaction from the development we get...this just leaves me feeling defeated in every way).

you know the drill: not an analysis, just me ranting as usual bc free therapy (and boy do i need it after this one)!! i had so many feelings watching this ep (esp towards teh but what’s new), so here goes.

we begin with the drama students rehearsing for jai’s new play, and the introduction of the plum wine which will be the recurring motif in this whole ep. the use of the plum wine in this also kind of reminds me of how teh initially disliked coconuts until he started falling in love with oh-aew and started to like them instead...i’m guessing that’s the parallel they’re trying to draw with the plum wine comparison in this.

teh’s having a hard time getting into character (which we already know from last ep was always going to be one of the toughest challenges for him as an actor). his character in the play is supposed to have a sex scene, but he’s struggling with this bc he can’t put himself in his character (akin’s) shoes, so jai ends rehearsals early.

jai gives them all logbooks which he basically wants them to treat as diaries where they’ll write everything they feel/learn and hand it back to him (he’ll be the only one reading them). ngl this already had me feeling kind of yikes (esp now as i rewatch this knowing how everything went down) since jai already has inside knowledge about teh’s feelings on his relationship with oh-aew which he can take advantage of :/ more on that later though...

it’s sad to me that so much time has passed since teh’s argument with khim and he's STILL avoiding her. khim was someone that he respected immensely (and was such a great mentor for him) so it just sucks to see that their relationship has deteriorated so much since the first two eps. teh might have had his reconciliation moment with oh-aew last ep, but there’s still a lot that he’s not ready or willing to address yet.

i understand that teh’s just encouraging jai about his work when he tells him to stop having others comment on it, but at the same time, i disagree with him bc i think it IS important to get other peoples’ opinion about your work. how else will you ever be able to see things from other perspectives if you don’t?

anyway, teh tells jai he’s seeing a play, and jai asks teh if he’s bringing oh-aew...the look on teh’s face is telling enough that things aren’t going great between them (at least on his end). this brings us to the logbook scene, where teh’s homework for the day is to write about the similarities and differences between himself and his character in the play. this gets teh to reflect on how he feels his relationship with oh-aew is changing, or specifically, how oh-aew seems to be changing so much that teh feels like he’s becoming someone else entirely...and does that mean that he still loves him the same?

i feel like this is a fairly common issue with people that have been in a relationship for a while (and this is their third year together now), so i understand how teh might start having doubts. it’s nothing that oh-aew’s done, it’s just that sometimes all these small changes can keep mounting up to the point that they feel much bigger than they actually are. oh-aew’s really just doing what everyone else does, which is grow and change as they get older, but teh’s still stuck in the past trying to hold onto what they used to have instead of evolving with oh-aew. the way teh picks at all these little changes of oh-aew does make me think that he’s self-sabotaging himself. he’s just so afraid and insecure that oh-aew will change so much he leaves him, that he has to nitpick at reasons why oh-aew’s the one that’s growing away from him (though when we watch the whole ep we know that that’s not the case at all). it’s like a ‘if i push him away first, then he won’t push me away’ sort of self-defence mechanism. either way, teh’s a constant overthinker...and he’s always been his own biggest enemy since the start, so it makes perfect sense to me that he would do this to himself here too.

i know that they’ve been together for years at this point, so things are not quite as exciting as they used to be, but it hurts to see oh-aew be so happy about getting an A for his class, and teh be so unenthused about it. oh-aew has to basically beg teh to give him attention and praise. remember when teh used to get so worried when oh-aew did badly in chinese class...and now it’s like whatever to him just bc he’s not tutoring him/they’re not in the same major anymore :((( i know it’s prob both bc teh’s still hurting that oh-aew transferred majors, and from seeing oh-aew succeed while he feels like he’s failing, but still...

also, not inviting him to see the play with him bc he thought oh-aew wouldn’t be interested/oh-aew kept falling asleep whenever they saw plays together ;;; i get the reasoning from both povs, but it still is nice to be asked :(

so one thing i have to say about the progression of their relationship here is that i just feel this huge disconnect from last ep and this ep?? i know it’s bc of the time skip (since it’s a year later basically), but to go from the end of ep 2, where they’re promising to love each other forever, and then to teh feeling disillusioned/as though he’s falling out of love with oh-aew basically right after that?? it’s so jarring. i feel like we lose so much with these time skips bc the transition from ep 2 to ep 3 is never really shown, so there’s this lack of flow there. like we’ve skipped a step entirely and something’s missing. this is the disadvantage of only focussing on one year per ep since there’s not enough time to explore as much character and relationship development when we’re only seeing an hour long snippet of an entire year. it just makes things feel superficial since so much of what we should be seeing is missing...and we basically have to fill in all the gaps ourselves.

okay, back to oh-aew ranting to his friends about how he feels like his relationship with teh is fading away bc they don’t have the same interests anymore, but also wondering if that’s just normal for long-term relationships. bless that boy that came to ask oh-aew for his ig :’) at least he knows that he’s wanted and has options, even if he obv turns him down bc of teh (for now).

plug and mangpong are dating!!!!!!! and mangpong does a horrible job of trying to hide it 😂 sidenote, but i love the way pp delivers lines sometimes (like the “just shocked”), he’s so cute. plug and mangpong’s legs touching...and the wave of nostalgia that came over me (and oh-aew) during that ;;; oh-aew seeing their blossoming relationship would make him reminisce back to his own experience of falling in love with teh...when everything was still so fluttery and new. so when teh texts him about using his car to help jai move, he looks happy. like he wants to rekindle those feelings again too.

that being said, it’s kind of sad to me how even jai shows more interest in oh-aew’s major than teh (when he asks him for his opinion on how to get people interested in his play). oh-aew’s got some good ideas and is more than willing to help (esp since he wants to connect and find a common interest with teh again). also, just bc oh-aew doesn’t want to be an actor anymore doesn’t mean that he’s completely uninterested in it. god, watching this part again hurts bc oh-aew looks so happy and optimistic. he worked so hard to help teh (and jai) only for them to betray him like that. it made me mad originally, but now it just breaks my heart :(

jai’s running acting classes again for his play, and this time it’s a workshop to help them tap into their feelings. it’s like an intimacy exercise where they give one another consent to touch certain body parts. teh is still struggling a lot with this. i think teh craves intimacy, but as he doesn’t feel that connection in his personal life to oh-aew anymore, so it’s difficult for him to draw on his experiences. he can’t even remember the first time he had sex with oh-aew properly anymore. as usual, teh’s too in his own head to just go with the flow and ~feel things (which isn’t new since teh’s had problems with this since itsay), but it’s def something that he’ll need to learn how to do if he wants to become an actor. he’s trying, but the fact that he can’t get to that place makes him feel even more insecure than ever that he might never be able to get there. imo one of the reasons teh works so hard, and is as driven and ambitious as he is, is that he’s afraid that he’ll never be good enough. he puts so much pressure on himself, and the issue with that is that he’ll never be able to live up to his expectations that way.

teh is also very much alone now. oh-aew has his group of friends to talk to about his relationship with teh, but teh just has jai at this point. he’s pushed khim away...and he and oh-aew aren’t communicating effectively (which is also why they’re on SUCH different wavelengths in terms of where their relationship is at), so there’s literally only jai for him to talk to about all his relationship issues. and to me at least, jai seems to have ulterior motives (particularly when you consider that the subject matter of his play is pretty much the same thing that teh’s going through rn). it’s times like this when i do feel kind of bad for teh, but then again, he brought this upon himself the way that he almost always does...and it leaves me frustrated instead.

jai kissing his professor though...also their conversation?? i have QUESTIONS...

that whole interaction with teh when jai catches him spying on him and the professor was SO awkward. idk what it is about teh but i have never encountered a character that has given me as much secondhand embarrassment as he does. when he starts touching the bars and avoiding eye contact i just- why, teh why?????

moving on, i’m thinking there’s prob more to that scene that we don’t know about bc jai’s shifty like that...but it’s purpose is also to shift teh’s perception of jai. before this, he pretty much just saw jai as his friend and mentor, but seeing him kiss someone else pushes him to think of jai in another less platonic light. like the first spark of attraction.

the both of them go to see the mime show (babymime), and i know that the point of this is so teh can learn to just feel and let go the way that the mimes in this play do, but idk it’s just kind of funny to me the contrast between the last scene and this one. 

the leg touching scene again but this time with teh and jai...thanks, i hate it :/// 

teh’s already feeling like he and oh-aew’s interests are making them drift apart, so by connecting with jai, it’s that initial feeling of attraction that he used to feel with oh-aew all those years ago. jai is that cool senior that he respects...he’s goal-oriented and has so much in common with him (in a way that he feels that oh-aew doesn’t anymore), so it doesn’t altogether surprise me that teh latches onto jai in this way. esp when all their conversations revolve around what teh’s most passionate about, and what dreams they’re striving towards in the future.

it doesn’t surprise me bc teh’s affections shifted in a similar way from tarn to oh-aew when he was first starting to realise his feelings for oh-aew too (though at least he and tarn were never officially dating during that time...)

there’s a genuineness to the way teh praises and encourages jai that isn’t there when he’s doing the same to oh-aew :( and that coupled with teh lying to oh-aew about him having dinner with jai while oh-aew is at home, completely oblivious, painstakingly photoshopping his boyfriend’s face on the poster of the play TO HELP TEH instead of doing his own uni work, makes me so fucking upset for oh-aew.

it’s interesting to see how different their personalities are even when it comes to something as simple as the way they read their texts. oh-aew is so ready to accept whatever teh tells him at face value, but teh overthinks everything to the point where he jumps to a certain conclusion in his head about it instead.

but yeah, it’s just really tough to see oh-aew try so hard for teh, only to see teh do nothing back for oh-aew in return. there’s only so much one side can give. it’s the absolute lack of effort on teh’s part to even try to make things work with oh-aew that is the most frustrating thing of all. oh-aew is carrying their entire relationship rn and it makes me feel all “and for what?? why should he even bother??” about it.

sneaking to sit at the river with jai is like this forbidden, new experience, so it just enhances that feeling of attraction that teh is already feeling towards jai. and esp when he starts telling him about his previous relationship with james, the significance of the plum wine, and how jai ended up breaking up with him. since it’s reflective of teh’s own experiences atm (even in how he kind of self-sabotages himself to push people/oh-aew away first), he clearly takes it to heart. and it makes him want to do an even better job since the play is an autobiographical one for jai. not to mention, teh supposedly being the only one that jai told his story to makes him feel ‘special’......and we all know how teh likes feeling as though he’s special to someone. you can see it in how dejected he is when he thinks jai only told him his story bc he wanted him to get into character better, but perks up the moment jai says he actually told him bc teh’s been doing such a good job (and to encourage him). like i mentioned before, teh’s already feeling vulnerable and isolated from everybody else, so hearing any sort of praise (and esp when it’s from someone that he looks up to as much as jai), is going to pull him in.

when they were hiding from the security guard i was like ughhh i know where this is heading and i. don’t. like. it........

the problem is that i know where teh stands on this. like i know that there’s some attraction on his end. but i don’t know where jai stands. is he intentionally manipulating teh’s feelings for his play? is there any sincerity there? i think it’s obvious that he can tell teh is attracted to him from the glance that they share in this scene, but i can’t get a handle on what he actually wants (which i guess is the point of making his character as mysterious as it is but still). and if he can tell, and he doesn’t actually like teh back in that way, it makes the end scene even more yikes imo.

hmmm teh lying in the pool trying to recreate that feeling right before their first kiss when the both of them just let everything go and sank down into the water. that’s how you KNOW the next scene is supposed to be angsty...bc just like how their first underwater kiss had a sense of sadness to it bc they were hiding, their first (on screen) sex scene has that same sense of sadness, only this time it’s bc teh’s using his attraction to jai/his method actor desire to get into character to fuel the sex instead of bc he genuinely just wants to have sex with oh-aew. and if his reasoning for the sex is bc of that, then his task to recreate their first sexual experience will never live up to the actual first time they had sex (when they BOTH wanted it, and there were no other factors involved).

that’s not to say i don’t think teh doesn’t love oh-aew anymore. i think that there HAS to be some level of love still there amidst all of the confusion, but it feels a lot more like he’s testing his love/attraction to oh-aew during this scene (sort of like how he did with tarn in itsay) than a proper ‘love scene’. like he’s trying to reconfirm his feelings, whilst using oh-aew as inspiration for his role at the same time. it makes my heart ache that this is the first love scene we get from them this series, and it’s marred by the context of what we know is going on in teh’s head. like i said, it’s this permeating sadness throughout...and just knowing that oh-aew has absolutely NO IDEA what’s going on with teh and why he suddenly wants to have sex makes it worse. oh-aew’s been trying to make things work, and in his mind, teh spontaneously coming over like this prob makes him think that things are getting better between them since this is also the closest thing to teh showing any sort of initiative to work on their relationship in this ep so far...

and that’s not also taking away how beautifully this whole scene is shot. i’ve always loved the way that teh and oh-aew play and flirt with each other (bkpp’s chemistry is honestly unparalleled!!) so it was nice to see them be kind of playful before they started kissing again (if you ignore how sad this scene really is). i LOVE the inter-splicing between their first time on the beach and the present. the way the score swells, and little moments where you can see their feet and fingers interlocked on the beach. it gives you such a visceral visual (and totally takes me back to itsay days when that sort of imagery was used a lot more). i just hate that since we know the truth, this scene is more uncomfortable than satisfying despite how nicely shot it is.

i wish we got more domestic moments from them. i know their relationship has sort of grown past those initial moments of flirtation, but it truly makes me sad that we don’t get to see more of them as a couple in general in ipytm. moments like this where they’re lying in bed cuddling each other are so few and far between that i always feel like i have to cherish every little fleeting piece of fluff that i can get. even if idek if this can really be called fluff since the context sort of ruins it.

oh-aew’s still got his heart attack bag :’)))

he was soooooo happy when he met up with his friends 😭 but also, how the hell is it possible for teachers to move deadlines up like that. i FEEL that panic... poor oh-aew...

teh’s in rehearsals again and this time he’s wearing his moon shirt which...i do NOT need those ep 3 itsay vibes rn when i was already dreading this last ten minutes with everything i have in me :((( but anyway, jai’s brought plum wine to class and we know that teh doesn’t usually drink, but he does this time. he tells teh that the taste will change over time (it symbolises the ageing of the relationship process), and teh says it’s a pity he won’t get to taste it next time since jai wants to go abroad to study. then teh tells him he’s worked on the acting exercise and wants to try it out with jai, and i feel like we all knew where it was going to go from here.........

they really had to hammer it in with him missing oh-aew’s call too huh :/

as soon as they started the touching/intimacy exercise again i was just waiting for the catch. even on this rewatch i’m still sitting here chanting “don’t do it teh don’t do it” knowing full well that he kisses jai and there’s no changing that. but then when they cut to oh-aew walking up the stairs with the posters and you hear just how much time he’s sacrificed to help teh/jai on this...sacrificing time EVEN NOW just to go over to their uni to give them the posters when he has a presentation due tomorrow that he and his friends still haven’t finished working on...it’s just heartbreaking knowing what he’s going to end up walking in on.

whether it’s itsay or ipytm, teh’s default state is confusion. so while i think that there’s a certain amount of attraction towards jai there of course, i kind of get the feeling that he’s confusing his feelings of connection with jai (bc of their shared interests and passion) with him falling in love with jai. i feel like his attraction to jai reminds him of what it was like when he was first attracted to oh-aew, and since things have changed so much between him and oh-aew, it’s like he wants to recreate and capture that feeling again with jai (which is also why he wears the moon shirt...he wore that during itsay ep 3 beach scene, which was the moment when the attraction really started to burn between him and oh-aew). he can’t feel that same spark with oh-aew anymore, so he transfers his feelings to jai since, at this point in time, he feels closer to jai than anyone else. instead of growing alongside oh-aew, it’s like he’s choosing to revert back to a time when he was happier.

we know that teh has always been the type of person that will act on his impulses when he feels them. that’s WHY it was so hard to watch...bc i knew while watching that last scene, he was never going to restrain himself or put a stop to those feelings bleeding over into action. and esp not when it could benefit him in some way with his acting too.

in the end, it just makes me so devastated for oh-aew. and i really hope that he doesn’t let this go bc he thinks it’s just teh method acting or getting into character or whatever...i know that teh’s feeling a lot of conflicting things rn, but that’s not an excuse. he really fucked this one up.

the thing is, it’s not that i don’t think teh is capable of acting this way (i’ve seen a few people say that this is ooc for him, but it really isn’t? this confusion and impulsiveness has always been a part of his character from the very start...he was always the one that had the most trouble dealing with his feelings out of the two of them), but the time skips don’t do him any favours bc we lose all those moments that take him to what he’s currently feeling. when we don’t have those moments, then it’s a lot harder to sympathise with him. in itsay, bc we always knew how teh got from point a to point b, even if he did frustrating/silly things, i always understood where he was coming from. i always felt for him. i GOT his struggles, which was why i was always able to empathise with what he was going through. in ipytm, he just comes off as unlikeable bc of how superficial his feelings seem (from what we’re being shown on screen at least).

falling out of love with your significant other/starting to feel things for someone else is obv a fairly common experience, so i don’t blame teh for FEELING like this, but it’s how he treats oh-aew throughout this that doesn’t sit right with me. even if you feel like you’re falling out of love with someone, or that they’ve changed since the first time you fell in love with them, you’d think there’d be some motivation to at least TRY to make things work with them before giving up. we never see that from teh at all. instead, he just see him becoming infatuated with jai (so we barely see teh/oh-aew together in the first place). and while i can see now that a lot of this is due to his own insecurities and inadequacies, it’s also just so disrespectful to oh-aew who's the one that we see putting in all this time and effort (it calls back to their whole “don’t give my time to others” scene in itsay bc we see oh-aew giving so much of his time to teh through helping him out with his play, while teh’s giving that time that should be for oh-aew to jai now). no matter his reasoning, watching teh act that way towards oh-aew does make it increasingly hard to root for him. there’s just too big a disparity in how the two of them choose to act and devote their time to their relationship.

what’s frustrating is that in itsay, teh would fuck up but he would always try to make amends with oh-aew in some way. he would always come forward to try to sort things out after...but there’s nothing here. even after their dinner fight in ep 2, it’s OH-AEW that reaches out to him first (even though it’s teh’s fault that they fought in the first place). where’s that boy that dressed up in his old school uniform in order to talk to oh-aew at his school? or made a whole chinese idioms scrapbook for oh-aew? or gave up his uni admission for oh-aew? i understand that characters and motivations change (and he was obv hopped up on his first love with oh-aew at the time), but it’s just really, really sad to see teh keep messing up and not even try to meet oh-aew halfway with this. yes, you can fuck up, but there are only so many times you can keep fucking up before it starts to look more like a pattern of shitty behaviour than a few forgivable missteps.

another issue is that there’s been so much focus on teh and his flaws that a lot of the time oh-aew comes off as a side character to teh’s story. previously, i understood that since teh was grappling with his sexuality. it made sense that his journey was the primary focus of the plot and character development. but i always felt that there was more room to explore oh-aew’s story (and i thought that we would get a lot more of that in ipytm...esp after ep 1), but it just feels like we kind of skimmed past all of oh-aew’s growth and struggles adjusting to bangkok/uni life so we could turn the attention back to teh again. i just hate that we never get to see more of how oh-aew’s changed in teh’s eyes (other than the surface level things like his hair, new car and major), and that we never get to see more of oh-aew’s life when it’s not related to teh in general. i hope that we’ll get more of oh-aew in the last two eps, but i really don’t know what they’ll give us anymore.

at this point, i don’t even want them as endgame anymore given everything that’s happened in the recent ep. and it pains me so much to say that bc teh/oh-aew are so immensely important to me, but they’re just in such different places in life. and teh esp has so much more growing to do (i think i said this last week too? teh...). oh-aew deserves to be with someone that can see his worth as he is (that won’t cheat on him for one!!). i just want him to be with someone that can make him happy. what i wanted most for them out of this was for the two of them to grow to a better place (together and as individuals), and while i still want that for them as individuals, it’s hard for me to want them to be happy together anymore. at least for the time being.

i’m kind of at a loss for how they’re gonna work through this (and i genuinely want oh-aew to be able to explore his options too...particularly with someone that will actually treat him better than teh’s treating him atm). so at this point it’s kind of looking to me like a break up is inevitable? but i do think it’s necessary  for both of them rn. i feel so heartbroken about it though...like ipytm is actually making ME go through the breakup...breaking up with all my beloved itsay teh/oh-aew memories :((( anyway, i think a break up is also conveniently the best time to put a time skip tbh...so we’ll see if that does end up happening now in future eps.

this one took such a long time to write up bc i wrote like a quarter of this RIGHT after i finished watching the ep (so you can clearly tell which parts were me right after the ep, and which parts were me after i had some time to sit on what happened 😂), but i thought it was best to take a bit of a break. i didn’t rewatch it again until i calmed down a little and sorted out my thoughts some more (though i know this is still pretty messy). but yeah, i’m still very much interested in watching how they things are going to progress from here...but i can’t deny how sad i’ve been feeling after this.

[tuffdwightwest]

Hi, I noticed that one of your posts said that you wanted drabble ideas? I've got a couple, but I'll give you 1 rn, I don't wanna overwhelm you in case you're busy with other things. In celebration of the new dead by daylight Greek mythology skins; What about dwight meeting a Gorgon-inspired killer, with a soft spot for cute Dwights?😉

//Yeah I can do that! I was also really tempted to continue the final scene but alas. This be tumblr and you know... xD thanks for the prompt you can suggest more if you want. I don't mind.

Dwight hated when he started off trials without his glasses. It was rare but it still happened more then he cared to admit. It made it ten times harder for himself and generally he did not survive. Regardless he tried to do his best.

He wasn't completely blind, but everything was mostly shapes. As he was walking to try to find a generator he started to hear the ever present heartbeat that warned him of danger. Attempting to hide he tried to glance around but noticed what seemed to be another survivor struggling.

With no hesitation he ran towards them. "Are you okay? We need to hurry I think the killers close." He said. Stumbling into the other survivor and reaching out towards them. They felt scaly when he touched them, a weird feeling but perhaps it was a new killer.

The heartbeat was overwhelming at this point and looking up to see the survivor he found himself squinting in confusion. Her face seemed almost serpentine and she had the greenest eyes he had ever seen. "You have beautiful eyes." He said without thinking. Shaking his head though he managed to look away. He felt slower then usual though, sluggish like he could hardly move.

"They are pretty usseful." The voice finally responded. She had a strange accent that just made Dwight awkwardly chuckle as he brought his hand up, nervously chewing on his nail.

Kind of a weird response but he let it slide. "What's your name?" He questioned. Slowly starting to get movement back.

"Ceccillia." They responded.

"Dwight get away! I'll distract it!" David's voice suddenly yelled from close by. Dwight immediately tensed. "Oh god I can't see it. Just run and hide Cecillia." Dwight explained turning and stumbling away. He was thankful David was in this trial at least.

A new survivor, blind Dwight, didn't bode well for their chances but David was an expert on fighting with the killers. So perhaps they still had a chance. He hoped he saw Cecillia and protected her though. Dying for the first time was always the worst. Managing to find a generator, experience had him working even being blindish. Generators just second nature for him.

He heard the sound of David going down and grew worried. He would have to let others get the rescue. Was too dangerous for himself. He would be most useful here. "Turn around." Cecilla suddenly said behind him.

Dwight jumped having not heard her approach. Doing as he was told though he immediately met her emerald green eyes. And once again he felt slower, like he was being frozen solid. "It keepss demanding to kill you." Cecilla said. Causing Dwight's eyes to widen.

Oh god she was the killer. He couldn't move couldn't even bite his lip as she drew closer. The feel of something wrapping around him. Constricting him scaring him even more. "But likess you. Cute. Want to keepss as pet. Lovesss my pet." She purred.

Dwight shivered slightly at her words, forcing himself to look away from her eyes. A small gasp escaping as clawed fingers still wet with blood reached down. Tilting his face back up so he was forced to look at her. "Cute." She repeated while Dwight felt her loosen her body.

"Must kill otherss." She said.

"No..." Dwight managed to whimper. A kiss on his cheek was his only response as he heard the distinct sound of her slithering away. Slowly he started to get feeling in his limbs back. Till he was able to walk around again.

He immediately hopped back on the generator. Completing it before stumbling away. Why did he have to forget his glasses? Hearing the sound of someone being taken down again he headed towards it. He needed to help. By the time he finally made it to the hook though the heartbeat was already gone.

She seemed to be able to move quickly. "Here I got you." He said reaching up before having to put more effort then he expected as he lifted the much heavier man off the hook. The hook breaking as who he now recognized as Jeff landed.

"No glasses?" Jeff grunted out. Dwight nodded.

"Broke last trial, Entity always takes longer to fix them." He admitted. Shivering when he remembered how exactly they broke. Oni was brutal when he wanted to be.

Trying his best to patch up Jeff. Finally the other seemed fine enough. "Here theres a generator over here." Jeff said gently helping lead Dwight as they both made it to a generator. The sounds of another survivor being targeted could be heard but it was best for them to stick with their generator goal.

"What is she?" Dwight questioned as they got to work.

"Some snake woman. The more you look at her the slower you become. I almost became completely still as I stared at her." Jeff explained.

Dwight nodded, "Yeah, guess we need to avoid looking at her." He mused.

"Think she can also block your senses a little. Not sight but hmm... you know when Cannibal downs you and you have that ringing slow sensation?" Dwight nods. "I think she can do that." He explained. Dwight nodded again, it was good to discuss this. Knowing how to beat your enemy made it easier later.

Gen completed Jeff immediately reached out to help Dwight. Which he was thankful for. The person going down though drew their attention. Followed by the sound of a female scream being thrown on the hook. Different then the one that was just down. "Sounded like Feng. Bet she stayed on the generator and was grabbed. She always does that." Jeff sighed. Dwight felt him pat his back and looked up at Jeff's blurry face. Seeing his scared but comforting smile.

"Gonna do my best. You stay hidden okay?" Jeff ordered. Dwight just frowned as Jeff turned to race away. He hoped that Jeff could help. But reluctantly again started stumbling around trying to find the next generator. Trying to just focus on this he bit his lip as he worked. David screaming again followed by the loud boom made him flinch.

Focus. He reminded himself. David would be back at the fire once this was all over. A second boom though drew his attention. He couldn't tell who that one was Feng or Jeff. He honestly had no idea what was happening. Looking back at the gen and calculating how much more they needed he shook his head. They wouldn't be able to do it just the two of them.

Deciding he was done hiding he pulled away from the generator in search of his friends. No sooner was he walking when he stepped over the hatch. The change of elevation almost making him trip before he managed to catch himself. "Ooo whatss that?" Cecilla suddenly questioned in front of him.

Dwight jumped before looking up before away quickly remembering what Jeff said. "Nothing." He responded quietly.

"Mm liar." She responded back.

He frowned but didn't respond as she drew dangerously close. "Big man sshould be dead sssoon. Left him there."

She explained. Dwight winced. Bleeding out, it was a terrible way to go. He hated when it happened to him.

"What are you waiting for then?" Dwight questioned nervously. He hated it when killers singled him out.

"Look at me." She demanded but Dwight just shook his head. "Pleassse?" She asked softly.

That got his attention and without thinking he looked over at her. Meeting her green eyes and immediately feeling the freezing effect. He was close enough that he could see her mocking smile. "Cute." She purred. Once more sliding her body over his. Holding him close before nuzzling into his neck.

Dwight tensed and went to pull away but couldn't, feeling helpless as she actually moved his head resting it against her neck and her rather large breast. Even frozen his face reddened in embarrassment. "Come pet. We'll look after you." She purred. A hissing sound intensifying as she pulled away from the hatch. Just at the sound of it clicking open. Dwight helplessly watching as it disappeared from sight.

//Honestly might post this on my AO3 and continue the scene. We'll see

[redhawtriot]

Baby Boom (Bakugou x Reader)

Tip Jar ☕- Not expected but always appreciated💞

I am posting at not my normal time at ALL, but I really wanted to get this chapter out so I can work on my favorite chapter so far lol (month five is boutta be LIT) if the tags aren’t working i’ll fix them tomorrow they are acting weird rn. 

Thx, for the patience. Love y'all

extra chapter warning: sexual harassment, nsfw..ish

HnM 💕

Month 1, Month 2, Month 4

--MONTH 3--

It was a Friday night about two months ago when Katsuki Bakugou had found himself on the second floor of Club 52—or “the booty room”—as it’s so brusquely known.

But he sure as hell didn’t fucking belong here-- Surrounded by drunken idiots when he had to stay alert and keep his mind sharp-- groped on by inebriated/drugged up women who he would simply growl at in return-- drenched in the germy sweat of the fucking extras around him when he could be at home in his clean bed thinking about how to improve himself tomorrow.

Honestly. How in the flying fuck did he let those three walking hairstyles talk him into coming to this shit show?

The driving beat of the music dancing within his chest was his only saving grace, its constant booming throwing him into a state of familiar comfort as he watched the colorful lights burst around him. He had to admit… they were nice…

No!

Fuck that! He still didn’t belong here, dammit! His roommates, Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest, had all three nagged, and nagged, and nagged him to come here the entire week.

At their begging, Bakugou quite frankly wished that he had lost even more of his hearing than he already had from his quirk. Maybe he could find one of his old drumsticks and jam it into his head—or up those idiots’ asses, “Ahh! I’LL GO! JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!” It was the only way to keep him from losing his job as a hero and committing a triple homicide. 

So yeah, that’s how he ended up in the booty room—and he wasn’t gonna gratify those damn idiots for even a second by enjoying just an ounce of the hellscape.  

“You’re not drinking, huh?”

A sudden inquiry snapped the man out of his thoughts, and he found himself whipping his head around to face the feminine voice that had cut through the loud room. As soon as his eyes encountered yours, Bakugou felt his jaw drop slightly at the sight.

But then he quickly noticed the way that your eyes flickered down to his mouth, and the mocking way that your lips began curving up into a smirk at his display. He wanted to kiss knock that smug look clean off your pretty face. He immediately clenched his jaw back shut and hardened his traitor of an expression so that no more slip-ups could be had.

The two of you sized each other up for a moment before you slickly glanced over your shoulder with a nod, “So I am guessing those belong to you, then?” you motioned toward Mayonnaise, Ketchup and Mustard—all three of Bakugou’s roommate idiots making a theatrical, display in the middle of the dance floor.

Kirishima—who had long taken his shirt off by this point-- noticed Bakugou’s disapproving gaze and attempted a wave back, only to lean into a drunken stumble.

Bakugou clicked his tongue, snapping his regard from the (flat out embarrassing) show “I’m not anyone’s damn babysitter. They’re grown men. They can fucking handle themselves!”

“Good… I’d like to have you to myself for a while,” you turned to the bar-tending counter and beckoned for two drinks.

Bakugou eyed how the man behind the counter ingested you. He was a lion looking for his prey’s weakness and you didn’t even seem to notice—or care. He glared at the man, subconsciously taking a step toward you to speak as the bartender handed you your drink, “For what?” Bakugou asked you flatly. He didn’t even know why the hell he was entertaining this.

You simply shrugged, throwing your eyes up as innocently as you could with the contrarily wicked smirk that befell your face, “To… talk.”

“Yeah right. You’ve got some freak look in your eye. You want something else.”

“Well, hell yeah! Have you seen yourself?” you laughed and Bakugou couldn’t tell whether the stutter in his chest was from your utter bluntness, or from the melody of your happiness, “Anyway, I wont waste your time—or mine. Come find me if you want to…” you trailed off as you handed him the second drink in your hands. You had to bite your lip from smiling too hard, “…Talk. Ba-Bye~.”

As soon as you were the short ear distance away and faded into the dense crowd, the bartender gave a low whistle, “She was fucking fit as hell. God, the things I would do to her!” Bakugou felt his face twitch suddenly as the man continued his rant, “She’d never be able to walk that pretty little walk ever again. Yo, let’s hope she’ll still be here by the time I get off!” he chuckled but Bakugou didn’t see any thing fucking funny about what the bastard said. He might live in what is effectively a hero’s version of a frat house, but still, he never understood “locker room talk.”

Bakugou angrily downed the entire drink in his tight grip in one long pull before slamming it back onto the counter forcefully. His red eyes burned holes through the bartender’s fearful ones—the cup breaking apart under his palm, “She won’t be. Keep your dirty eyes off her, you bastard,” Bakugou didn’t even allow the man an opportunity to rebuttal as he stormed away, his fiery glare set intently on one thing only—or one person only…

That night Bakugou watched intently as the ceiling above him teetered and danced for a moment—sinking into the deep feeling of numbness that his intoxicated mind had succumbed to after about his fourth drink. He wasn’t exactly used to this feeling—this caving in on himself and sense of absolute relaxation as he melted into his bed.

Sinking.

              ...Sinking.

Wait, was his bed really sinking? His eyebrows furrowed into a state of confusion before he heard a sigh coming from next to him. Things finally clicked into place in his slowed mind.

Oh yeah. That’s right…

He would never get used to having someone else in his bed, probably.

Bakugou turned to where you were imprinting yourself down onto his mattress. You laughed at his stern expression, extending your arm to caress the side of his face, “God, your face is s’ intense like that. It gives me chills,” your thumb danced across the permanent furrow of his eyebrow. There had to be a magnet underneath his skin somewhere right about there that kept the brows in a constant state of attraction.

He snapped his face away from you as the magnet’s strength intensified and twisted his expression even deeper into anger, “Heh?” Goddamn, you were a fucking difficult girl to read for as blunt as you were.

You march up to him in the club like you own the damn place and send him heart eyes and flirtatious body signals, just to stone cold walk away like he never even existed? You proclaim that you want to fuck him, yet made him dance with you for almost an hour before you lead him out?? You let him fuck you in thirty different directions, just to call him out for looking “intense?!!” His friends (if you could fucking call them that) always said that he had an ugly mug, the jealous bastards, but why would a girl he slept with--

“You’re jus’ beautiful is all,” you faintly slurred, instantly hushing any of his thoughts and softening his expression, “People tell me all the time ‘You’re a pretty girl! You should smile more, but why th’ hell should I go around smilin’ for people who don’ deserve it? If they don’ like my resting state, then—”

“Then they can fuck themselves.”

“Yeah,” you looked up at him with a lazy smile. To a sober mind there was no doubt that your expression was an obviously drunken happiness, but to Bakugou’s in that moment—he couldn’t help but think that maybe there was something deeper behind that smile. You giggled, “They can fuck themselves,” you agreed more heartedly-- leaning into Bakugou and rolling him onto his back before snaking your way on top of him. You planted a trail of wet kisses up his neck and finished by making a small bite on his jaw “And maybe you can fuck me,”

Your warm breath on his sensitive neckline made him shiver underneath his skin, but he prayed that you couldn’t feel it. He scoffed to cover the pathetic display, “Again?”

You laughed before planting even more smiling kisses all over him—pressing your body even further into his with each one, “and again. and again. and again…”

“Pervert.” Bakugou tried to grab you by your hips to keep you from grinding into him even further—or at least that was what he intended to do; however, instead he ended up using them to guide your rhythm in rubbing against him.

You laughed again as you sat up on top of him and pressed your hands to his chest—your hips far from slowing down or stopping, “Maybe so, but can y’ really blame me? I have this guy in bed with me who isn’t even tryin’ to make me smile, but I have been fucking cheesin’ it up all night with ‘em.”

Bakugou didn’t even try to fight the growing smile on his face. It really was damn corny and pathetic--whatever this was between the two of you. But it felt so… so fucking right to him.

Still, he was going to tease you-- otherwise he wouldn't be him, “Well, I have this girl in bed with me who won’t stop smiling and it’s really fucking starting to creep me the hell out,” he suddenly flipped you onto the bed and mounted himself on top of you before placing his own assault of kisses on your body. His face only reemerging to take in your stupid, corny, beautiful smile for a long second. 

You were absolutely stunning in every respect of the word.

Yet--

Two months later, the same face that now stood in front of him on the platform of the train station was far from smiling—honestly neither was he. He was pissed the hell off. You didn’t even recognize him until just now?? Was he really so fucking immemorable?

You backed away from the man who had just saved you from falling to the tracks. You took him in one final time as the two of you sized each other up, “I don’t even know what to start…”

Bakugou’s face contorted in such anger that it could have been mistaken for disgust, “How about you start by giving me some fucking answers!” he screamed, causing your heart to drop and your stomach to lurch. The two organs effectively were trying to switch places.

Oh fuck. He knew?

“T-to what…?” You trailed off, but you had a feeling what he was going to say next. He was gonna chew you out about the damn parasite growing in your uterus, but you had no idea how he could have known about that! He shouldn't know that!

Deku didn’t tell... He didn’t! ...Did he?? Your heart raced and assaulted your rib-cage with an armada of thrums.

“Why did you sneak out that morning, huh!?” as soon as the words flew out of his mouth, you paused—your mind not quite able to comprehend his grievance, “I was just some sex toy for you? That it??” When he finished yelling and glared at you with expectancy burning within his red irises, you found yourself tilting your head a bit in astonishment and confusion.

Your heart had dropped, but you couldn't tell if it was from relief or repugnance. 

That? That was the question he needed answers to?

In the grand scheme of the fuckery on hand, his damaged ego was literally not your problem. You crossed your arms as you stretched your neck toward him, “Because it was supposed to be a club hump and dump! So yeah! We were just sex toys! That was kinda the whole fucking point!” Note the fucking emphasis on ‘supposed to be’! Ugh!

A tinge of underlying hurt quickly flashed across the blond’s stern face. You gave a short, sharp sigh in exasperation as you laid your forehead in one of your palms, “Look, I am not exactly here to cater to your wounded pride. Sorry that you caught feelings for me, but I wasn’t exactly obligated to fix you breakfast that day,” the tired, emotional remarks flew out much faster than you could filter them, but you still felt a twinge of remorse as soon as they hit the air.

The man in front of your face look completely stunned as if you just slapped him across the cheek with your words. It actually seemed pretty unnatural on his expression—like a rare, endangered species-- something not many have seen. Soon enough, however, as the dust of your words fell his expression settled back into a more natural state of fury, “You’re fucking right,” he grunted before turning to exit up the stairs of the subway, “I’m not obligated to listen to this horseshit either.”

Oh fuck. What have you done?

You knew that you had laid it on pretty thick, but the emotions you felt were just so damn overwhelming, “Kacchan… I…!” Why couldn’t you have said something different? Nicer maybe?

Whether you liked it or not, your lives were now tied together and this was not a good first impression—or uh-- second impression technically-- whatever! “I promise you’re gonna want to hear the end of this.” you called to his retreating form.

Bakugou’s face shriveled even further, stretching its extent of maximum disgust. Hearing that name come out of your mouth left his stomach feeling ill, “I promise you, I don’t give a fuck”

You slapped your arms at your side as you finally halted in your attempt to get him to stop walking away. Fuck it. You were about to completely call his bluff because you definitely weren’t about to chase him. You were much too tired and emotional for this shit! You just wanted to get home and sleep these random-ass, foreign emotions away, “I’m pregnant.” you simply exclaimed.

Bakugou froze.

In that moment, it was as if the entire world around him had iced over as he replayed your words in his head over and over again. He couldn't have heard you right, “What?” 

The man felt every fiber of his being stiffen. So much so that he couldn’t even bring himself to turn around and face you. In your silence was his answer loud and clear, “How… how the fuck do I know it’s mine?” he murmured, still unable to turn towards you—he didn’t want you to see the raw emotion that his face probably held in that moment.  

You barely even heard him, but the weight of his words was heavy enough to slam down on your ears and cause a burning reaction from you “What?!”

Your shriek finally prompted him to whip himself around, and you almost wish that he didn’t. The mangled mess of feelings transcribed on his face left his cheeks flushed a furious shade of red as he shouted at you,  “You like one-night stands so much—how do you know it’s mine?” With a horrified expression, you glanced around you for a moment to the other people in the subway, who immediately adverted their gazes.

“Hell, You’ve been hanging around that bastard, Deku. How do I know it’s not his?” You looked back to Bakugou with a choked ‘Wow!’ that could be interpreted as “Are you fucking kidding me right fucking now??” These strangers were getting one hell of a show, too.

You stormed up to him to keep him from shouting your all of your dirty laundry into the air, “Deku and I aren’t—” You stopped yourself. Would any fucking thing you said to this man make a difference? He didn’t know you from fucking Adam-- or from fucking Adam. You groaned in annoyance, “Look! I know that it’s yours because you're the only idiot I have slept with in months! An idiot who doesn’t know how to use a goddamn condom apparently!” you half whispered to him as your spectators began eyeing you again. You flipped them off as Bakugou continued,

“I’m the idiot?! Well if you could ACTUALLY FUCKING REMEMBER that night then you would know that we did use condoms the first three times! They ran out and you told me to keep going,” He screamed—by this point you’d given up hope of containing your melodrama as he continued loudly, “What idiot says that unless they are on birth control or something?!”

You throw your face in your hands with a shriek of a sigh before looking back up to his furious face “Here’s the deal,” you decided to completely ignore his comment, becoming tired of this theatrical display of emotions spewing from him,  “I can’t spontaneously conjure up some proof that this-- this thing is yours but I assure you it fucking is. But hey!! If you don’t want to stick around, I am not the type of person to make you. I can deal with this myself,” his face fell a bit as you swiftly turned yourself around to make your exit, but you didn’t make it far before you felt a heavy hand grab you by the wrist.

“Let’s say it is mine...,” Bakugou offered flatly, “You don’t think I can handle it” his daring tone left your mind whirling. This wast a fucking wrestling match or even one of his villain attacks! He continued, “You’re dumber than you look if you think I’m gonna let my kid grow up without me. Give me your fucking number,” He easily snatched your phone from your front pocket with a slight protest coming from you, but ultimately, you really were tired as hell and just wanted this day to be over with al-fucking-ready. You sighed as he put his number in your phone—your mind briefly wandering why you didn’t put a password on the damn thing.

In a short instant, he shoved your device back to you and promptly turned on a heel. Only acknowledging you once more to tell you to “Stay off of the fucking train tracks,” before he stiffly marched away. Good riddance. 

You couldn’t even blame the spectators anymore. This was a mess. This was a downright, melodramatic, teen drama on CW disaster. This was… this was your life now.

Fuck…

“Oooh... no smiles today, huh?”

About a week later you found yourself walking up the stairs to a modern mansion with stupid windows for walls. A true sign of pretentiousness and obvious lack of shame. This house was a display for all to see... kinda like your argument with that Bakugou last week. 

You shook this thought out of your mind and put your ‘work cap’ back on. You were on your way to get some test shots in for the week with your new hair cut that the agency had forced on you recently.

Instead of throwing her a “What’s there to smile for?” like you wanted to, you threw her a “This better?” and forced a small smile at the girl, Dina, who had traveled along with you to get her test shots done today as well. Usually for these kinds of things, you would be alone as you traveled to the photographer’s house, but it was always nice to have someone come with you so you weren’t complaining—well-- not about her company at least.

There truly was nothing to smile for recently. You were pregnant with a raging, quirkcist asshole’s child, said asshole won’t answer any of your damn texts or calls that aren’t directly related to the prenatal appointment that you two have later today, Deku hasn’t been able to hang out with you as much because of his work, and as trivial as this may seem, you looked in the mirror today to saw a completely different person.

You were quite used to your agency drastically changing your hair, but that, along side the obvious rounding of your face and the speckles of hormone induced facial topography growing on your skin, led you to a slight identity crisis. The girl in the reflection was a sloppy second to who you used to be and you hated it-- you hated sharing this body.

“Trouble in paradise with Deku, Y/N?” her tone had a hint of worry in it as she rung on the doorbell to the modern house. You could only give her a slight shrug as the bell sung out,

“I’m fine. Really.” you lied. 

“Hello, hello!” The photographer’s voice loudly blared out before the door could even fully open to reveal him. He gave you a shocked glance, “What a pretty lady—pretty ladies!” he corrected as he stepped aside and invited you in with the swing of his arm. You rolled your eyes as he turned his back to walk through the house. He looked like the textbook definition of a douchebag. 

Fuck not judging a book by it’s cover. If it walks like a duck. Talks like a duck. Then it’s probably a misogynistic asshole who only got into photography to get away with his sick urge to take photos of unfamiliar women.

“Okay ladies, I just want to preface by saying that you can feel comfortable around me, alright? I think of all my models as a family,” Dina stiffened into a board as he came over and rested his hand on her hip. She forced her lips into a fine line that could resemble a smile as he firmly patted her, “This shouldn’t take too long-- only about five to six hours, ‘kay?”

Your face scrunched up, but you just wanted to get this day over with so you could go to that stupid appointment and wouldn’t have to deal with “Cockugou” for another few weeks. Throughout the next few hours, the photographer actually wasn’t too bad. He was for sure creepy, but you noticed that he wasn’t so bold with you as he had been with Dina earlier. Of course there were little off hand comments like, “You are doing sexy.” instead of “you are doing great.” And he would refer to both you and Dina as “baby” is a husky, drawn out tone—like he was moaning, but besides that he was actually being pretty calm.

Until he wasn’t.

“Okay! Now take your tops and bra off,” both you and Dina paused as the camera flashed once more. As the two of you threw each other a wary glance the photographer spoke up again, “Trust me, I have a vision. You’re gonna love it!”

“I- I just don’t feel comfortable with that,” Dinah spoke up feebly. She looked to you for support, so you nodded before she returned her gaze to him, “Do you think… maybe we could do something else?”

The photographer sighed and threw his nose into pinched fingers as if you all had offended him, “Look honey, you’re not that photogenic. I am having to bust my ass off not to capture that cellulite on the back of your thighs, so when I tell you to do something, it’s for a reason.”

You glanced over to Dina with a horrified expression. You noticed that her hands were clenched at her sides and shook ever so slightly after she subconsciously rubbed the back of her thighs-- you also noticed a prominent thigh gap in between the two tiny appendages. You shot your stern glare back over to the photographer.

He sighed again—this time even harder than before, “Take five!” he frustratedly pulled out a box of cigarettes and stormed over to his patio outside—the glass door slamming shut behind him.

You walked over to Dinah and hesitantly found your hands drifting toward her. You were never really good at cheering people up. Hell, you had to rely on alcohol to cheer you up for the vast majority of you adult (and a little bit of your pre-adult) life. Still, you took her shaking hands in your own. “Hey. Don’t listen to that asshole. If you’re not comfortable...”

“I have done nude shots before, but this just feels… wrong. Doesn’t it?” she refused to look you in the eyes as hers glazed over in a thick sheet of shame. She was right. Nude shots were nothing new at all. In fact, some of your best shots had been done in the nude—they had the potential to be true art, but this? This was wrong.

She shook her head,“But I just… I don’t want to be unprofessional.”

“We can walk out right now. I’ll call Ainu and tell her what’s up I am sure she’ll understand,” as soon as you began walking to gather up some of your belongings, her voice spoke up once more—this time much colder than before,

“Maybe for you. Y/N, you could get away with murder at our agency-- you know that, right? You’re the one who bought Ainu her ticket to the top-- her golden child,” she sneered. You threw your eyes toward her own—not quite comprehending if this was the same person still talking to you.

It was, but this Dina had tears growing in her eyes, “Not everyone can half-ass everything and not care…” her voice shook. The two of you just stared at each other as wild emotions filled your expressions and overflowed into the room to drown you.

The patio door clicking open snapped you out of your trance and Dina furiously began wiping her eyes clean as the photographer reemerged, “Alright pretty ladies! Who’s ready to get back into things?”

You sighed.

With a quick roll of your eyes you angrily threw your top off—not even giving the girl with you a second glance as she did the same and the two of you settled yourself into position. The atmosphere was certainly much heavier than it had been before, but the photographer obviously couldn’t read the room,

“Y/N might I say, that your tits looks wonderful! Have you gotten a job recently? I mean- they look huge!”

Okay. 

That. Was. It. You couldn’t fucking hold it back anymore, “Talk about my tits again and I’ll stab you in the neck with your own goddamn tripod,” you kept posing as if you totally hadn’t just threatened someone’s life, but the photographer fell away from his camera, shock painted on his expression. Slacking on the job. Huh, who’s the unprofessional one now?

“…S-sweetheart I—”

“Don’t you fucking ‘sweetheart’ me!” you screamed, storming up to point a finger in his face. This surge of random emotion overwhelmed you. You had never felt this before—like you were gonna explode if you didn’t unleash it. And unleash it, you did, “The fuck is your problem?! You get some kick outta being a perverted asshole, asshole?!”

Dinah tried to come pull you back by the shoulders, “Y/N, maybe you should just calm dow—”

“No! Fuck this bastard!!” you smack her hands away as the photographer gets up and crossed his arms,

“This is so unprofessional. You women always jump to conclusions. Why cant you ever just take the compliment?”

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TAKE MY FOOT UP YOUR--”

And that’s how you ended up getting sent home two hours early. You had attempted to call Deku to rant about the harsh encounter, but he was at work. You supposed that saving lives a a little bit more important than “The Dramatic Tale of a Quirkless Model” or whatever fucking CW show your life had become. Your mind briefly fleeted to calling Bakugou, but he certainly wouldn’t answer anyway. No. Fuck that.

So you decided to text Deku and cry into your pillow instead,

You:

[2:49pm]

I mean he was just such a fucking dick!

I should have actually stuck my foot up his ass but he for sure would have liked it🙄

Seriously. I don’t mind nude photos

But there is a difference between art/photography and porn

Deku:

Right!!

Well I’m glad you stood up for yourself!

You:

No! Don’t tell me tht!😫

Deku:

I am upset tha you stood up for yourself…?

You:

UGHHH

I just wish tht I had just walked out

But the other girl wouldn’t leave and I couldn’t leaver her their

There*

God

Ainu is gonna 💀me for this

Deku:

How can I help you?

I’ll find what I can on the photographer?

You:

Talk Kacchan into not going to our clinical visit.👉👈

You knew that Deku really wanted to go, and honestly you would really prefer if he did. Regardless, Deku stood up for his childhood bully like the saint he was,

Deku:

Y/N! He’s the father. he deserves to go, don’t you think?

Also!

Don’t forget Baby Notes vol 1! I wrote some questions for you to ask!

You stifled a small laugh as you eyed that stupid goddamn notebook he left on your nightstand one of the few days he stopped by your home.

You:

Grr

I can’t handle Cockugou’s moodiness right now

And I-- Oop!

Speak of the devil. He’s here.

Talk later k?💕kith!

You snatched the notebook from your nightstand and marched to your front entrance. The knocking at your door was downright disrespectful—constantly switching between pounding knocks on your door and vigorous successions of the doorbell ringing.

“Fucking. Calm. Down!” you screamed out the door before answering, revealing Bakugou’s stern gaze,

“What the hell took you so long?” he huffed, causing your face to scrunch up into an expression that mirrored his own. 

“I had to walk to the damn door, you know! I’m quirkless? No teleportation quirk here!” He only clicked his tongue at your response. You noticed the way his eyes drifted down to the notebook in your hands before they narrowed into even tighter slits.

“Let’s just fucking go, already,” he took your wrist and led you out of the house before shutting your door. You could really just knock him the hell out. Okay, maybe you couldn't, but your weak ass might just be able to get one good hit in! He deserved it, not replying to any of your attempts to reach out to him past talking about the appointment,

“Why didn’t you answer my texts all week?”

“I was busy.” he simply said, not even bothering to look you in the eye. This was the last time he spoke up for a long while. In fact, you didn't even hear his voice again until later when the two of you sat in the small, shoebox of a room in the clinic with the prenatal physician,

“This is your first appointment, right?” the doctor, was extremely old looking and your mind phased into a grim question of ‘how the hell can someone so close to death know jack about birth?’

You tried your best to push these dark thoughts out of your head as you gave him a slight answer, “Yeah…” you laid back on the crinkly paper covered recliner and lift your shirt a bit for the examination. You looked down at the small, hardly noticeable bump in your lower abdomen and internally cringed. 

“This is the father?” you knew that it didn't really matter, and that he was probably just trying to make you comfortable and spark up some small talk, but you rally didn't wanna hear it out loud. 

You couldn't bring yourself to answer, but Bakugou loudly spoke up, filling the absence of your voice, “Why the hell else would I be here, old man?” he scoffed and twisted his face away from everyone. 

You raised an eyebrow at his rudeness, but from the vast stories that Deku had told you about him, you shouldn't have been surprised. But still, it was like seeing a mythical creature in real life-- a grumpy troll under a bridge, if you will. 

The doctor gave a loud laugh at Bakugou’s remark, causing both you and him to snap your surprised gazed to the elderly man, “You’d be surprised at the shit I have seen, son. Someone brought their neighbor for the entire 39 weeks once-- the husband came in only once or twice, I think.”

You couldn't help but to laugh at this. Your doctor’s voice had a much more youthful demeanor than he had originally led on, “Oh, they were definitely fucking behind the husbands back,” you smirked.

“So Mama Bakugou,” 

And just like that your smile was completely wiped off of your face, “This is your first child right?” the doctor asked. You felt Bakugou throw you a fleeting expectant look. You assumed that it was probably because he hadn't even thought to ask you this question. The two of you really didn't know each other. Matter of a fact, this doctor, with your list of medical history in his hand, probably knew a lot more than the father of this ‘it’ inside of you. 

“L/N actually,” you corrected, “and yes, it is.” with that, Bakugou’s glare drifted back off into unconcerned and uncaring territory as he found a sudden interest in the glass container of gloves on the counter. 

“Well you look about 10 weeks along. They’ll be about the size of a strawberry right now-- almost done with your first trimester.” he trailed off as he began coating your stomach with some sticky jelly substance. 

“What??” you could have sworn that you had only met Bakugou about two months ago right? So does that mean...

“The date of conception would have actually been a little closer to about 7 or 8 weeks ago. We just count by the first day of your last period. No need to get worried about the neighbor, I don’t think, Papa Bakugou,” he winked to the blond, who only gave a scoff in return. You let out a slight sigh of relief. 

The recipe for the rest of this appointment as the doctor searched your organs for your uterus in the ultrasound included him making small talk and Bakugou ignoring it with you giving slight answers here and there,

However, finally, something really caught both of your’s attention, “I think that you guys should take time today to find your primary care physician,”

“Why not you, idiot?” Bakugou spoke up and it shocked you. You were surprised he cared about this out of everything. 

“I am thinking that I should send you to someone with a specialty in a multiple pregnancy birth.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you and Bakugou shared a brief, terrified glance at one another, “What...?” Bakugou spat.

“You see these two circles? It looks like you’ve got two buns in the oven! Congrats on the twins!,” 

T...wins...?

The world bean fading into a blur for you as he continued, “Now You are a little past getting the neural tube check, but we can get you started in on some genetic testing and counseling’s. Every thing is looking alright, but we just want to…”

The world around you moved in a blurry, choppy chain of images as your mind tried its best to comprehend the knowledge it had been given. So... not only were you carrying one parasite... but two?

You couldn't bring yourself to listen the rest of the appointment, and you had a feeling that Bakugou wasn't picking up on much else after the shocking news either. 

If you thought that commute to the hospital was quiet, the walk back to your apartment was even more so.

Taglist:  @steggy4ever​ @library-trash​ @watevermelon​ @glimmadora-ble​ @persephones24​ @dragonempress123​ @your-pri-ncess @broken-from-fandoms​ @hot-pocket01​ @tsukineho @bakugousbabydoll​ @bubbzibubbles @ikebukuro-ghoul​ @thehoneycookiecrumbs​ @katsukis-sad-angel​ @dulcetailurophile​ @yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii @kanasakura @lonekitsune @pastel-prynce​ @mynameispurple​ @cutest-celestial-princess​ @minfani​ @aurorahoneybuns​ @galacticrosee @orokayagi​ @centerhabit​ @animefan7420 @katsukisposts   @bakugou-is-my-daddy​

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[bokuroaka]

hi! can i ask how u made ur carrd like what are the settings? ty!

omg YES i love carrd making hi anon. if there’s anything specific u want just lmk!! under the cut bc its long... i make most of my carrds on desktop so this is very desktop based.... to all of u who do ur carrds on mobile honestly kudos i cld never

uhm also when i say long like this is v long bc i added a lot of reasoning to my settings n tips that i’ve picked up on making carrds (plus the screenshots) i hope it helps tho ^_^ apologies if u knew most of this stuff tho bc i explained... everything...

some notes before we get in: for colors i usually just base everything off the sidebar image and use a color picking website (i use this one) to get the the html codes for colors. the site i use also generates a palette which i also use! ur free to use anything tho obv. the font i used is “inter” 

1. ok first here are my page settings! i wont include my animation settings now ill leave that to the end.. these r rlly the only settings that i’ve changed so i’ll just post these.

ok i dont rlly change much except for these two, the position is set to top not center (which is the default) b/c esp w carrds like the one i have now i dont like the header portion moving depending on the height of the container underneath... does that make sense? that’s just super nitpicky of me LOL but if u do end up making the carrd n playing around w the settings u’ll see what i mean

the width is set to 22 bc i like small carrds! play around w this as u see fit, i also change it depending on how it looks like in mobile (im very thorough lol) if ur wondering how u can do that on desktop, its this phone looking icon on this bar on the top right of the screen: (the 6th icon!)

the next pic is also default settings except my spacing is set to 0. i’ll explain why later! the alignment also doesnt really matter w/ this carrd. u can play around with it tho!

2. this is for the home page!

first i’ll explain how this is set up: the title box and the box under it (i’ll call it info box) are both containers! here is why i put set the spacing to 0 earlier: if u put 2 containers theres going to be space btwn them and to achieve this kind of look (ig) i just set the page spacing (in the page settings) to 0. however this means that everything is going to be pressed up against each other so i usually just add dividers (which are transparent [color code is #96969600]) i wont post a screenshot bc the settings r default, except for the margins which u can play around with to see what works for u (it’s set to 0.375 for me rn)

here are my settings for the title box 

most of these r pretty standard except for the padding and border. the reason why i didnt tick the bottom part is bc of the container w all my info underneath. both containers have borders so the bottom & top border of those containers wld just merge n create a thicker border which isnt what i was looking for... anyway.

then i just add a text element & just write my title! idt my settings for that r relevant so i wont add it (the text size is 0.875)

next is the info box! here are my settings: 

btw this is a container with columns!! those can look p wonky on mobile so make sure to have these settings on so that they wont look awful on mobile!!

oh also i wont post a screenshot of my text settings (text size is 0.75 + line spacing is 1.25) if ur wondering how i changed colors for some of the text the format is basically just [text]{#color} 

for the image size i set the width size to full (or full column) that depends on u (and how much text u put in the info part) i just prefer how it looks like when the image width is set to full bc that way no part of the image is cut off... really depends on u and what image ur using though so just play around w/ it!!

and in terms of spacing, i have a divider on top of the title box b/c otherwise the whole thing is just too high up for my taste

ok now to explain the header part and how i got my title/info box to stay “fixed”

so... im ngl. i dont understand how the header function works (help) so uhh i wont go as into detail here. but what worked for me is adding a header marker (the plus thing on the bar > control > change section break to header marker) right after the info container, then adding a section break (this one is called #wala bc wala here means ‘nothing’ in bisaya lol) and a transparent divider right after it. i hope its visible in the pic... anyway this is the only method i found that makes the carrd work lmao. it rlly doesnt matter what u name the #wala section break bc its not gonna show up so u might as well just use a keysmash

3. the extra info!! (extra, interests, byf)

this section will b shorter compared to the first two LOL anyway. first i started off w a section break (#usa which means 1 in bisaya hehe), then a transparent divider for spacing, and then a container! theres nothing fancy abt this container it has the exact same settings as the info box above so u can just duplicate that container and change the container type from columns to default.

then just add ur info and ur done!! repeat w whatever extra info u want to add (i only had 3 to add so it looks like this for me)

4. oh before i forget, these are my animation settings!! (page > the triangle thing)

u can preview the on load animation by clicking the triangle button on the top right bar, but for the on section change animations u have to save then preview it on ur carrd itself :/ kinda annoying but yeah... i usually never set anything above 0.5 seconds for on section change animations bc im impatient LOL 

these r completely optional tho... i just think animations make the carrd look smoother & more fun!

thats it i think! here are some tips i have

1. this tip is abt how carrds can differ when on mobile! i sometimes fiddle around with the mobile settings to make sure my carrd looks the way i want it to on mobile! bc mobile sometimes fucks up the spacing and it annoys me LOL... example here: 

u can find these settings if u scroll down a bit on the page settings and switch mobile from auto to manual (like in the screenshot) most of the settings i dont touch except the size setting, i just fiddle around w it and see how my carrd looks in the mobile view until im satisfied

2. this isnt rlly necessary but its smthn neat i picked up! if u check ur section break settings and check hide footer u can get rid off the “( made with carrd )” text on the bottom! i think it just makes the carrd look a bit neater, esp since the page spacing is set to 0 so it might look a little squished under the container...

3. i like to use all elements of my carrd efficiently (ig? heres the engineering major jumping out) and idk if u noticed, but if u click on the title (”it has always been once for me”) or the image (which is... of tbz..) it actually takes u back to the home page ^^ idk i just think small things like that r neat 

thats it for real!! i hope this wasnt too much of a hassle to read or follow through, and if u have any questions dont hesitate to dm me or send me an ask, even if we arent mutuals!! i hope u have fun making this carrd <3

[tartagliaxx]

hmm, i wonder if tumblr ate my previous ask. i hope not but honestly, you're probably not missing out on a lot anyways.

i finally gained some inspiration to complete the previous wip i showed you, but now i have another one on my hands bc when i get overly anxious, i start to write some vv specific scenarios with my pretty boys.

like,,, i have 3 hours before my exam starts, and i know basically nothing. remember how i said that i took a short break (if tumblr didn't eat it)? yeah, i'm sort of regretting that decision now. can i even get a C? my head's hurting and spinning, i feel like this isn't rlly uh, good for me. i'm hopefully gonna take a one hour nap and hope whatever happens last time doesn't happen again.

i don't want to fail, i rlly rlly don't. i feel like failing on your finals that you're supposed to enter uni with isn't the uh, best idea. i'm trying to just, stay calm but nothing i'm studying is rlly getting to me. perhaps i should just get some rest,,, a one hour nap lmao

— r. anon

reply to the other ask lol:

you’re right, i think you totally deserve the break. it’s totally fine. in my experience, the people around me told me to take my time when i legitimately couldn’t even pick up a pen to finish my stuff. it’s weird bc that’s the first time it ever happened to me but my profs were very forgiving and told me i should take a break if i need one.

i understand your feelings omg- i’ve lived my life being everyone’s friend but not anyone’s best friend,, i dont mind receiving messages like this and i’d really want to help as much as i could but idk if it’s okay to post online??? skfjfajhaha it seems v personal for me but if you’re fine w it, then i’m find w it as well. if you happen to have discord or smth, we could talk there instead if you want but i’m really fine w whatever.

CHILDE CAME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my fucking husband so very pog. and omG?????? bae i’m like,, super happy for you??? omg im like so proud rn im tearing up im not even joking lol. no matter who the motivation is, you still managed to go through it and like,, small victories are still victories to be celebrated. again, i’m so proud and happy for you.

take it easy bby… you seem to have a lot on your plate… if you feel in any way, like… tired or what,, just take a break… i figured thats so much better than falling deeper into a pit of sadness. take breaks when you need them and face your problems when you’re properly rested. it’s v worth it. also, no matter what happens… i want to say that you did so well and i see you putting so much effort into things even if you dont feel like it.

childe’s like…. *dreamy sigh* i love him and the way he works. i rotate him w others v often for reactions so i never had the problem with his cooldown. and??? 28k??? already??? pls he was doing 10k on his first day w me so i think that’s really, really good. and ffs???? those wolf things?? i hate! i hate hate hate hate them </3 fuck corrosion messing w my perfectionist self not wanting to see anything less than a full hp bar…

ON WISHES AND COMFORTS OMG- i remember making that and im like???? how???? how to write venti???? that’s my first time writing for him i think?

//

i didnt go on tumblr for like,, majority of yesterday so i only saw your asks now. i was acc playing genshin bc this is the first time im not behind on schoolwork. i’m making a ghibli themed teapot and so far, the first part’s like 45% done. ….why do i like making myself suffer?

on a side note, I DID SEE YOUR TAG! I’M ATTENDING A LECTURE RN BUT I’LL READ IS AS SOON AS IT’S DONE. IM V EXCITED AND I KNOW YOU DID GREAT! on a different note, i understand how stressful this might be rn but it’ll be alright. if not now, then later. im not sure how to comfort you since i would most likely meltdown if i were you but just remember to breathe. sure, a lot might be on the line but ultimately, one’s self must always be the priority (something i learned from psych btw). good luck on your finals! i’m rooting for you and i’ll support you no matter what!

ps. ily2 <33

[souvercine]

hey y’all ! i’m jia and i’m super excited for opening; i have two super clingy cats in case any of you ever need a visual pick-me-up, i’m a uni student in canada and a big skincare and dark chocolate junkie, more than likely gonna be typing replies while indulging in either jsyk !

tried to keep it short since i’m a rambly bitch, but xan’s basic stats and a proper wc page will be up soon as i just got home from grocery shopping and we open in an hour as of typing this, the theme as a whole will get a refresh eventually and i’ll be posting a little tracklist for her playlist later ! and if tumblr ims are as much of a nuisance for you as they can be for me, you can add me on d*scord at genuinely sick of this shit#2030 if you’d like to plot ! anyways, without further ado:

( samantha logan , cis female , she/her, twenty-four ) omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . xanthe lowe ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like “ when they go high, she goes lowe ! xan spotted leaving a gala with her former friend’s ex, after last week’s reportedly tense exchange between the girls ” . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense through , since they’re apparently merciless and imperious . but i’ve heard they’re also conspicuous and astute ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous socialite ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that redacted , but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan !

tw: drug mention

when i tell you that i have so many muse posts i’m holding back on for this bitch —

which, btw, will all slowly see the light of day soon enough bc god knows i can’t articulate my muses’ personalities as well as i’d like so that shit makes up for it fdgslk

her parents’ eldest child together, xanthe’s also the oldest out of her and her siblings

also, never call her xanthe. friend or otherwise, don’t take the risk dklgsjdlk

grew up with a silver spoon, her dad being a wall street giant and her mother being an entrepreneur with a love for art ( so much so that her two partners after separating from xan’s dad were artists themselves sdlkgj )

thus she split her time between toronto and manhattan even before her parents’ divorce, she merely spent more time jetting back and forth for special occasions and vacations compared to when her parents were still together

mind you, she was probably still in the single digits when that became a new normal for the brat

basically could’ve been a main character on gossip girl with her reckless antics and partying as a teenager…. and now, even sgdlkf

drk how to elaborate on that, aside from stressing that from her teen years onward she’s presented her own take of a rich bitch, and is a socialite/fashion week regular type if i were to describe where she stands rn

i think a good mix of references would be nicky hilton meets the delevingne sisters meets blair waldorf and sabrina pemberton’s lovechild

she attended an ivy league at the behest of her father so he had at least one child who could take a senior position in his company simply to keep it in the family

.. before he realized what a Mistake™ it would be to put that responsibility on xan and now has her slightly older cousin as a backup instead GDSLFJKS but nonetheless !

isn’t the most studious person, but she somehow wound up graduating with a major in communications and a marketing minor

she reasoned that, with her reputation in the gta and nyc, she’d need the bit of knowledge in how to clean up her messes. even if she wasn’t the one who had that responsibility

though.. the entire time has been spent sleeping with some of her rich friends, drinking and smoking pot, with the occasional hit of whatever clean enough drug that one of her friends had on them

as of now, she’s pissing off her neighbours with her house parties wherever she might be at a given time, staying in the good graces of the media as a budding, fun yet classy heiress — despite doing dumb shit the second she’s inside of a gala or club

uhhh ik i had something else to add but a quick break for dinner messed that up, rip LKGFSJD

personality and shit

her little blurb on my indie is: refined party girl still set in her ways with her future left uncompromised; detached and pretentious, she soaks up the attention that continues to roll in

which. we’ve basically been over already lkdfsg but still

if i were to use a label to describe her, she’d be the sovereign

she’s messy as hell, but puts on the façade of a poised woman who has some fun because she knows it bodes well

she’s not a complete dick per se, but she can be snide and boastful

big superiority complex, independent and lives lavishly with reckless abandon

probably jets back and forth between nyc and the gta as it’s her version of normal, so ig she hates the environment if it means not having things go her way !

non-committal as all hell and will abandon girl code if she drops you fgkljfs

.. fr, she’ll fuck an ex-friend’s ex if she technically saw them first, so being spiteful and resolving some past attraction ?? right up her alley !

hence the choice of headline gdfslkj

keeps her true inner circle small, but gets off on attention and likes to stay cordial with some people, so she’s got quite a few friends all the same

she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her image and won’t hesitate to throw anyone under the bus to do so/in retaliation if they screw her over

which happens to mean that her family is to be protected as well. fuck with any of her sisters ?? you’re done ! try to call out one of her brothers on twitter ? she’ll quote it with a single clown emoji as a warning

there really isn’t much to expand on tbh, though i will say that her emboldened nature and need for a good time however she can get it comes out more than her uglier side ( except her vanity. that’ll never go away ksfdg )

some quick plot ideas

a childhood friend or two that she made in either of her main hubs or through events she attended when she was young, whether they’re still friends or not for x reasons can be discussed of course

could carry over into a trio type of thing depending on where she stands with either of them, or they’re a different couple of pals she’s made in the last few years

enemies are always fun ! probably rooted in a competitive streak more than anything else but i’m all ears for a more complex reason

ex-hookup(s), current hookup(s), throw it all at me klgfjd

a hateship/ewb would be fun with her too, oh my god sfdgklj

it should go without saying that they are all relatively wealthy or well-connected kids here, but that doesn’t mean that someone who’s using her for their fifteen seconds of fame, or just to get some perks out of their friendship, is necessarily a write-off — not that she cares too much about fake friends, face value hype and knowing they need her more than she needs them gives her too much satisfaction fkskgls

an ex-something, open to anyone. either someone her parents forced on her to straighten her out that she wound up liking…. after a good period of her telling them to fuck off sdglk or someone she’d been seeing for a while at her own accord. would’ve ended the same way: with her calling it off because she didn’t want to settle down, not even for a relationship ( and perhaps bc she’s scared of commitment with her cracked family dynamic that’s been a thing since age two, but that’s another story jsdfkg )

[beanie-beebo-writes]

Highway To Hell

Series Summary: An all-too-real nightmare and a missing brother sends Dean, Bobby, and Cas on a frantic search. All the while, what may be a bad dream leads to a probable jump-start to Dean's true worst nightmare, Sam jump-starting the end of the world. Set in season 4; consider this a parallel canonverse fic

Previous chapter, Masterlist

Chapter 3

A/N: I believe I didn't post an update this friday, so I'm SUPER sorry about that. My life is super messy rn. Anyway, here it is, a day later 😅

Dean awoke with a gasp and looked frantically around the motel room. He panted and wiped the sweat from his face after realizing where he was. He barely even noticed Bobby watching distantly from the foot of the bed.

"I was going to wake you, but I know you needed some rest, so I figured you could ride it out." Bobby said.

Dean gulped and quickly tried to regain his composure, despite Bobby probably have seeing him at his most vulnerable state.

"How long was I out?" Dean asked.

Bobby looked down at his watch. "About three hours." He replied, pulling his chair back to the small table he was using. "So, while you were sleeping, I figured.. Whatever took or has your brother, it had to leave a trace somewhere. So I searched around in the local papers, scanners, etcetera." -Dean made his way over to Bobby's laptop- "It turns out, demonic omens have been increasing around here within the past couple of days."

"But there was no sulfur, I checked." Dean said.

"Yeah, but we should definitely check it out. I think this may have to do with Sam." Bobby said.

"Why would you say that?" Dean asked.

"These omens aren't your average omens, Dean.. They're mixed in with some stronger storms, and it's almost like they're leaving a direct trail. And they're lasting for days." Bobby explained.

"So maybe a different type of demon or entity?" Dean inferred.

"Correct. Plus, the trail of omens start right here, Pontiac, Illinois," Bobby said.

"..Which is where we are now." Dean finished.

"Mhm. And they end there, Ilchester, Maryland." Bobby said.

"So that's where Sam is." Dean concluded.

"Most likely." Bobby said.

"Then we need to hit the road, now." Dean said.

"Woah woah woah son, we can't hunt something if we don't exactly know what it is." Bobby said, stopping Dean from grabbing his things.

"It's a demon, Bobby. What don't we know?"

"If it's as powerful as it looks, it may need some looking into."

"We have the colt, isn't that good enough?"

"I'm not too sure, but it wouldn't hurt to keep it in mind."

Dean sighed. "Sam could be in serious trouble here, Bobby!"

"Calm down, they wouldn't kill him, not likely. The demons might want him for his abilities."

"Alright, fine. Where do we start?"

                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~

They both spent countless hours searching up numerous different types of entities, as well as trying to trace weather specific omens. Many of the omens derived from different demonic presences, which only made everything all more confusing. Some demons seemed to match the profile, but when summoned, they all seemed just as clueless as everyone else. They were of course put to the test, but either they couldn't care a less (knowing that Dean would likely exorcise them anyway), or simply were clueless.

"Hey, did you happen to contact Ruby?" Bobby asked, cleaning up some of the previous ritual scatterings.

"Yeah, but I guess she couldn't get ahold of Sam either, just like I told you with Cas." Dean replied.

"Well, what if she was covering up?" Bobby said.

They both looked at one another and ran to set up the ritual Dean had performed earlier that day. After finishing preparations, they both exchanged another glance before igniting the contents in the small cauldron. Almost instantly, Ruby appeared in the devil trap, appearing more annoyed than ever.

"Are you serious? Honest to whatever God you believe in, I don't know where your Winn Dixie ran off to." She retorted.

"I say guilty." Bobby said.

Ruby scoffed. "Whatever you believe, I honestly don't care."

Dean gestured to her with the knife, firmly holding it against her vessel's throat. "How would you know we wouldn't summon you for something else?" He asked.

"What do you think I am, stupid?" She spat. "Why else would you summon me twice in one day? Now I told you before, I have no freaking idea where your freaky ass brother is hiding."

"Watch your tone," Dean said through gritted teeth. "before I slit that pretty throat of yours."

"You don't scare me, Winchester." She sneered.

"Dean, just wait a minute, she might be our only lead." Bobby said.

He slowly stepped away from the demon, not breaking eye contact once. He kept the knife at a ready stance, ready for any possible move she could try and pull off.

"I'm gonna ask nicely, only this once." Bobby said. "Where, is Sam?"

"Kiss my ass, I already told you dimwits three times."

"Prove it."

"How?"

"That's for you to figure out."

Ruby glared, not having the slightest idea how she could prove herself in this situation. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in her head.

"Why don't you call your angel lover? I bet he could figure out if I was lying." She said.

Before Bobby and Dean could consider the thought, the flap of wings echoed into the room. They all turned to the trench-coated angel, raising their eyebrows; Ruby smirked knowingly.

"No word on Sam." Cas said, slightly out of breath.

"Well hello to you too, Cas." Dean remarked.

Ruby sarcastically motioned her head forward and cleared her throat.

"While you're here, Cas, I was wondering, could you confirm something for us?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, sure." He replied.

"Ruby?" Dean turned around, gesturing for the demon to continue.

"As I was saying to these hard-heads, I have absolutely no idea where Sam was or is. He seems to have warded off every major creature that could possibly track him down, so I can't go and find him." Ruby explained.

"Well, is she lying?" Dean asked.

"I don't think she is, Dean. I just finished talking with Crowley." Cas said.

"And?"

"And he said that he can't get to Sam either."

"Why would you believe The King Of Crossroads?" Bobby asked.

"Because I threatened something in his possession; he admitted this against his will." Cas replied.

"Okay, another dead end." Dean sighed.

"Wait," Bobby said, turning to Ruby, "When did you last see or hear from Sam?"

"The last time I both heard from him and saw him was over a week ago." She said.

"What for?" Dean asked defensively.

"For demon blood, we were preparing to take down Lillith." Ruby admitted reluctantly.

"What?!" Dean fumed, closing in on her.

"We had no other choice, Dean." She started.

"Oh yes you did, don't pull that with me." He seethed.

"Really?! Because do you know what Lillith has been doing? She's on the final seal. She could break a number of them, at any second." Ruby spat.

Dean started to walk away but then turned back to pound her face into a battered tomato. The only things that held him back were two pairs of arms behind him.

Ruby smeared the blood off of her vessel and flipped her stray hair strands back onto their original sides.

"Punch me again Dean, I bet all of that angst will definitely help you find your brother." She remarked.

"Shut up you bitch!" He shouted, still struggling in Bobby and Cas' grasps.

"Dean, enough. This isn't necessary." Cas said.

"Cas is right, boy. Come on, use your head." Bobby agreed.

Dean grunted as they pulled him onto his feet, anger still coursing through his veins.

"Is that all?" Bobby asked.

"No, but the knight-in-shining-armor wouldn't let me finish." She responded, "Sam kept demanding for more blood. I don't know if it was for the addiction, or if he was going to practice on his own, but he wouldn't tell me."

"Don't tell me.." Dean started.

"He had to get better and I thought maybe some self-practicing would enhance him. So I supplied him, with gallons of the stuff. I got permission from some peers, and we all chipped in." She explained.

"You stupid bitch.." Dean whispered.

"I tried texting him, to ask for progress, but he never got back to me, not once. I couldn't even track him down, not for this whole week." Ruby finished.

"Yeah, that's great." Bobby said.

"So maybe he is just running around rampant from the demon blood. Do you know if he got more?" Castiel asked inquisitively.

"No, I don't. I know just as much as you do." She said.

"So we don't even know if he is in Ilchester." Dean said to Bobby.

"Yeah, but it's worth a shot anyway." Bobby said.

"Are you nuts? What if he isn't there? We don't have any idea how bad this is for him right now! He drank gallons, Bobby." He said.

"I get it, I do. Sam's your brother. But we have to treat this like you were hunting the demon. You didn't know what you were looking for, remember?" Bobby reminded him.

"Yeah, but-"

"But nothing. You followed anything remotely weird, and eventually figured out a pattern. Maybe this is what we need to do with Sam. We will find him, okay?"

Dean sighed and looked at the ground. This was always the hardest, staying calm while your other half was in danger. Without Bobby, he probably wouldn't be able to.

"Okay." Dean said quietly.

Bobby smiled and patted Dean's shoulder in reassurance.

"Awe, how sweet. Now, can you let me go?"

Castiel walked over to Ruby, pulling out his angel blade from his sleeve. She looked up slightly, staring straight at the silver blade. He glared momentarily before kneeling to the floor and scraped off some of the trap's paint. Cas slowly stood up, looking her straight in the eyes. Ruby glared back at him and disappeared.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Cas asked.

"I think that would be a smart idea, could you ward all of us?" Bobby asked in response.

Cas raised his palms as a bright light filled the room, causing slight discomfort in both hunters. The light quickly faded and the men searched their bodies for the warding.

"Is that it?" Bobby asked.

"Yes, you are warded from the inside." Cas replied.

"Alright then, let's go." Dean said with slight pain to his voice.

[izzy-b-hands]

Paralysis

A note that the very beginning of this, the sleep paralysis episode is based on one I had myself this week, that I’m hoping writing out here via Snafu will help me work past. But it is a TW for something like sexual violence, I guess? It was a weird thing and it’s hard to explain. If anything like that isn’t your jam, I’d say skip this one. If you do read it and have ideas for any other tw I should mark on this fic as a result, please let me know. I’m too close to the experience to figure it out myself, I guess lmao. I tried to make clear how it feels during and after, at least for me. We’ll see how well I did at that. The only big difference is I don’t have a cute boy to help me deal with an episode of it lol. 

This is also combined with the idea I mentioned briefly in that other post today. I still didn’t like how the original idea didn’t vibe with the boys exactly, so I sort of redid it so it works for them, and I think I’ll have to do a reader insert fic for the full original idea later. 

But hopefully this version of it gets across the main thread of the original idea, and y’all like it. It isn’t particularly long, but I’ve been struggling to finish fic rn, so gotta take what I can make happen lol.

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

He could usually shake out of it, after a bit. Even when it felt this real. 

Eugene at his side in the bed (but hadn’t he fallen asleep in the living room, on the couch? Never mind it now) hands everywhere, lips at his neck. He didn’t remember coming to bed, or when he’d woken Eugene, or when it had turned from sweet sleepy affection to rough sex, but rough it was. And it was good, even so, he was so close, but-

“Gene, little slower.” 

Nothing except lips back at his neck, bruising hard now, enough to make him wince. 

“Eugene, baby. Calm down a little, okay?” 

Still nothing, but the nip of teeth at his neck and shoulders, harder than Eugene had ever done it before, and his orgasm slipped away at the pain of it.

And then it dawned. 

This wasn’t Eugene, and suddenly the little voice that had been fighting to scream, Eugene’s voice, came through: “That isn’t me! That isn’t me, Snaf!” 

And he turned back to look to what had been Eugene, and the face was close but the jaw was too extended, like a wolf, and that jaw opened and he could feel it clamp down, all the while he begged for it all to slow, to stop, to be able to move at least-

He was completely awake then, in the living room, on the couch, not moved an inch since he’d first laid down. Eugene was nowhere in sight, and the house was dark. 

He couldn’t explain why he went outside then, forewent his shoes and keys, across the lawn and out onto the gravel road. He didn’t know where he was going, but the house didn’t feel safe, nowhere felt safe, surely it had been fake, but those teeth had felt so real and his body ached and if he hurt then maybe, just maybe-

“Snaf?” 

He was maybe a hundred feet from the house, and there was Gene, running after him, robe fluttering in the breeze. 

“What are doing out here? I heard the door open...” 

He fought for words, for something, but had nothing. It all felt too real, too fake, all at once. If he moved too fast, he might shimmer right through the road, through the world, to where, he didn’t know. Was he even awake, really? How could he know?

“Another episode? You wanna talk about it?” 

This was Eugene. He was real. He had to be. His face was fine, normal, no distended, extended jaw, with teeth that pierced and ripped and burned as they bit and-

“Let me help you back inside,” and Eugene’s hand was solid, and real, and warm on his arm and had it been this cold outside the whole time? “Come on. Your feet are filthy, why didn’t you grab your shoes?” 

He let Eugene lead him back, slow, over the gravel and then the grass, onto the mat inside just in front of their front door. 

“Stupid question, right? I know you don’t really think about that stuff, right afterwards. You probably don’t even feel awake yet, huh?”

He managed a nod.

“That’s okay. You stay there, I’m gonna go grab something to clean you up. Can’t have you dragging dirt all over the house.” 

And he stood in the darkened house, and he considered shutting the door behind him since he could move now, and he found he couldn’t bring himself to make a single move. Just in case. Just in case the feeling of eyes on him constantly, since he’d apparently woken was real, and it knew where he was, but maybe in the dark it couldn’t find him, and-

“Shit, this one hit you hard, didn’t it? You look...gone. Spaced out. You okay?” 

“No,” and his voice shuddered, but it sounded like him at least, that’s reassuring enough. “Don’t feel real yet.” 

Eugene nodded. “We’ll get you cleaned up. That’ll help.” 

He forgot how light he was to Eugene, until moments like this. Eugene picked up in one fell swoop, moved him over to the couch, laid out a towel on the carpet so he could set down his feet. One small washbasin full of warm water at his knees as Eugene knelt down, another empty to hold the used rags. 

Or usually, it would have been rags. Eugene, for whatever reason, had grabbed the nicer washcloths this time. 

Maybe it was just the oddness of it all, the struggle to feel truly awake and real and like he was really himself, and Eugene was really himself, but each motion was the softest tension. 

The warmth of the water helped, it couldn’t feel that good if it wasn’t real. So did Eugene’s hands, the gentle way he moved the cloth over his feet, washing away dirt and the smaller bits of gravel that had tried to worm their way into his skin. The pain of that came through now, slight though it was, and Eugene stopped when he winced. 

“You’re okay,” he murmured, getting up just enough so he could kiss Snafu gently. 

It made him shiver, but it was another moment of reassurance. No roughness. No sharpened teeth. No whatever that thing in his head had been.

Just Eugene.

With his careful hands, and soft hair that brushed up against Snafu’s torso as he moved closer, settling each of Snafu’s feet into his lap in turns as he scrubbed away the last of the most stubborn bits of gravel. 

He wasn’t a religious man, not really, but when Eugene looked up at him then, drying his feet with another washcloth, he thought he just might understand truly, fully, what ‘holy’ meant. 

It was in Eugene’s eyes, in the way he wrapped an arm around Snafu after putting away the cloths and washbasins, and led him upstairs. 

It was in the fingers that plucked at the buttons of his shirt, that ran across his chest once said shirt was on the floor, that pulled open the button of his trousers. 

It was in his lips that made their way up from Snafu’s chest and neck to his face, in the way his legs intertwined with Snafu’s. In the way he didn’t have to tell Eugene all of it right away, yet Eugene somehow knew not to take it further than the roaming hands, the rutting hips. Even when it grew more urgent, when it was hard to keep the pace, not to move faster, harsher, Eugene was still so careful, so gentle, sweet like summer rain. 

It wasn’t anything ground-shaking, but it was warm and comfortable and a breaking of it, whatever had kept him from feeling properly awake, when he came, and Eugene right after him, both of them marked across their stomachs by it. 

“You tired again?” Eugene asked. 

Snafu tried and failed to fight back a yawn. This was how it always was after, once he finally broke the odd unreal sensation after an episode, finally the exhaustion would descend back on him as if he hadn’t slept that night at all. 

Eugene just giggled. “You stay put. I’ll clean us up. You sleep.” 

“No, I can help,” Snafu started, but another yawn interrupted him.

“Sleep,” Eugene instructed with a smile and a kiss as he climbed over Snafu and out of the bed. “I’ll be right back. No more episodes tonight, okay? No more fear. You’re safe.” 

And he was, and the sensation of it was such a sharp contrast to how he’d felt earlier in the night that it made it all the more easy to fall asleep, like a lullaby that didn’t need to be sung, but just floated on the air whenever Eugene was around. 

Which made him perfectly happy not to move too much, once Eugene had cleaned them up and was back in bed beside him, curled against his side. His man (truly his man, for sure this time) slept contently in his arms, and he could finally sleep again. 

[faegrifted]

Blog Update

Hey sugar plums. This is a small blog/activity update and it’s not gonna cover TOO many new things. Most of you already knew this is my plan, or was my plan---, for when things calm down enough IRL for me to actually DO THE THINGS. And the original plan was for that to happen like 2 months ago but you know work happens and life outside of that is a funny thing and here were are. So update, works been kicking my ass the last month or two with my coworker having a thing about jumping half a world away every other week or so and almost never keeping to the schedule she gives our bosses which for me means working 4-5 24-hour shifts in a row every other week.

 On top of that in preparation for the much-needed vacation I’m taking starting the 1st they’ve had me training a new girl. Which is FINE, we need someone to cover me and she’s lovely! But it means more socializing then I’m used to on a regular basis and a new person at that so that’s been...taxing. All that being said it’s basically been eating up my time and energy to be here. So once more with feeling THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS STAYED AND BEEN PATIENT WITH ME IT MEANS MORE THEN WORDS CAN SAY ;w;.

The bright side is with that break coming up, and work calming down after since my boss plans to talk to my coworker about her own vacation habits, I WILL HAVE TIME TO DO THE THINGS I’VE BEEN MEANING TO DO. Here’s the list that I’m gonna be attempting in the next month and all the things you should keep an eye out for if you’re interested. Again thank you all for your patience, I love each and every one of you and hope to be back to writing regularly soon!

Follower/Following Purge - Not mad at anybody nor have I lost interest in anyone. It’s just gotten to a point where my dash is a little too cluttered for my taste with people I don’t talk to regularly and people who haven't reached out at all since following me. So for my own comfort, I’ll be doing a clean up on that front via soft block. If you happen to get softblocked know if you’re still very much interested in interaction and hadn’t reached out before cause you weren’t sure how to or felt you might be bothering me--- MESSAGE ME. Let’s talk about it and see about being mutuals again.

Draft Purge - I hate it. You don’t understand!!! I HATE DROPPING DRAFTS I H A T E IT :C. BECAUSE---, I love every single interaction I have with all of you. Every ask, every meme is a treasure and I am the dragon that hoards them and... It’s a problem guys. Like the messy dash having the number of drafts I do does something terrible to me. It’s not even that big a number and yet it’s like I’ve got paralysis when it comes to seeing the actual number and there’s only so much I can do to fix it. No major threads or plotted things will be dropped. But I am gonna going through them all soon and sorting out what I have muse for rn and what I do not and making my choice based on that.

Biography - I know I’ve been talking about it since the dawn of time but I really do want to get something up for Kenzi especially since my take on her IS somewhat canon divergent and her main verse takes place after canon’s conclusion. Even if it starts out as just basic STATS I will be putting something up for Kenzi in the near future.

Verses - Same as above I already have a few verses for Kenzi and I do plan on putting up some basic info for those very soon.

Major Headcanons - I have a handful of major headcanons for Kenzi that I’ve needed to get out for a while now that are SIGNIFICANT to her skillset/power/how she interactions with STRONG or supernatural creatures as well as my portrayals heritage and where she comes from. These will be worked on soon.

Mains/Exclusives Call - I will be putting out one of these and it will have more info on what those mean to ME in the post itself. But basically, I want to know how many of my followers here are comfortable with being my go to if not my exclusive portrayal of a muse for rp purposes. Because it's in my rules guys. I’m not a huge fan of following a ton of portrayals of a canon muse once I find one I really enjoy and that’s bonus if the mun who writes them is someone I’m comfortable with and this kind of call is one of the few ways I know to invite someone to explore that with me without ramping up my anxiety or feeling like I’m bothering people ; v ;.

Permanent Starter Call - Again this is just gonna be me putting it out there and invitation to let me know who of you and how many people are comfortable being my go to when it comes to starters and wishlist threads, ideas, and me sending headcanon prompts and memes at random.

Shipping Call - Same as the above calls. This will be me testing the waters on who all is open to shipping with Kenzi. This will not be JUST a romantic shipping call. This will be a general call and whoever likes it can expect I’ll hit them up later to discuss what sort of ship they were talking about and see where things go from there.

[jinships-ideas]

BTS Run 59 & 60 - The Jin Harem

I took a short break but here’s the 2-part special! 58 will be up soon (hopefully)  Let’s just begin~

We start off this Hotel episode with a cheap yoonjin knee-touch moment!

You know what? 

After the yoonjin drought that was 57 & 58, 

WE’LL GLADLY TAKE IT!

Joon eyeing Jin scratching his leg

Petition for Yoonjinjoon to always be seated next to each other

Our OT3 heart is weeping in joy

Jimin using Jin’s knee to push himself forward~

Small but very appreciated Jinmin moment right there!

Namjin Handshake after discovering they were partners

Yoongs: Really? In front of my salad?

Joon scooting closer to Jin 

T^T

Namjin being off in their own isolated side

T^T

Dear Namjin,

You’ve been missed

Look at these nerds looking so ecstatic about being ‘Team Kim Seokjin’

WhO nEeDs JiN wHeN wE cAn BeCoMe JiN?

Jin: But I’m Right here? Team Kim Seokjin: LOLOLOLOL

2 more nerds joined in with the Seokjin Team train

Jin: Really? Ya’ll just gonna do me like this? Joon: Nah. This ain’t it

The infamous ‘couple watch’ that got Namjin shippers worldwide crying 

Namjinists: WHO SAID NAMJIN WAS DEAD? Namjin: We did.

Touchy Jin back at it again 

His willing target: Joon

Chim really threw himself to shove Jin with a whole Tae in between...

MAD UWU VIBES

JOON FINALLY BRAVED HIMSELF TO TOUCH JIN’S THIGH

Tae: This ain’t it Chim: *not accepting what just happened* Yoongs: Keep yo hands to yourself or you won’t have any JK: My fists can fly all the way there. Hobi: Enjoy it while you can... I’ll unalive you later

Biggest mystery: HOW TF is JIN STILL ALIVE WHEN HE IS IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY TO JOON’S MEGA-WATT SMILE??

Tae smiling to himself at Jin’s incorrect team name

Tae kindly reminding Jin his ACTUAL team name

:’)

Kim seokjin’s guardian angel back at it with his job

On the other hand...

JK looks so happy after the Producer teased Jin about his incorrect answer

The editors are such cowards to not give us a full shot angle of Joon grabbing Jin’s wrists with a full on happy smile 

GIVE US THE NAMJIN CONTENT WE DESERVE!!!

Namjin: *flirting* Chim: *Represents us Namjin shippers* YESSSSS Tae: *non-namjin shippers* I did NOT ask for this

Jk smiling after he corrected Jin’s team name 

Jk is that guy that enjoys teasing his crush but feels happy after helping them too

LOOK AT NAMJIN’S HAPPINESS AFTER (They think) THEY GOT THE RIGHT ANSWER

In the excitement, Jin actually grabbed Joon’s whistle

But he let it go so Joon could properly grasp his hands in his own

THIS IS NAMJIN 

The show producer: Not the hero we asked for, but the hero we needed

We have Jin laughing while looking at Joon since he messed up their team name (for the umpteenth time)

We have Chim laughing at Jin’s mistake

JINMIN spotted with matching scrunched up laughing faces 

JK laughing at Jin’s mistake and cuteness

Namjin - Lost the point

But did they really lose though?

When they are looking like a million bucks while being so happy?

Jin CLEARLY was gunning for a hug

BUT JOON THE COWARD PUT UP HIS HANDS 

So Jin switched for a hand grab instead

We may have lost a Namjin Hug scene

But we will gladly accept any penny of Namjin content we can get...

Let it remain though, that Jin was AIMING FOR A HUG...

Jin JUMPED UP in excitement

Namjin: *finally gets the point*

Joon: *did NOT get the point that Jin was aiming for a hug*

All the members looking glad for Namjin’s point XD

they really SUCKED at the game so much that the others are glad for them 

Yoongs staring at Jin from afar...

Ft. WTF is Jimin doing, rubbing Tae’s knee for no reason while sitting like a penguin?

IDK why, but I’M HERE FOR IT.

A post about Vmin moments? 

Jimin is US

HE IS ONE OF US NAMJIN SHIPPERS

Jimin: *A full-fledged Namjinist* Tae: *someone in the midst of becoming a full-fledge Namjinist*

Jimin: *trying to convert his fellow members to be Namjinists* Yoongs: Ok fine... Namjin is Kinda cute JK: I’m Onboard this Namjin train Hobi: *Still unconvinced*

THIS IS SO COUPLE-LIKE?

Person A whining and complaining about being teased by X to Person B

Meanwhile, Person B just enjoying his view of Person A

Jin casually looking at Joon’s face for inspiration...

T^T

He even gulped while staring at Joon...

If it’s not obvious by now, Namjin are just flaunting their moments in this entire hotel-based run

Jin: *literally falling due to a lack of balance since his legs are lifted*

Jin: *DOES NOT LET THE OPPORTUNITY OF HOLDING JOON’S HAND GO*

THIS IS PURE BLISS

For them and for us

Of course, Joon never leaves anyone asking for a high-5 hanging

The same can’t be said about the rest of BTS though...

-Insert sad violin music + all the times Joon’s hand has been left ignored-

Jin casually stroking Joon’s arms

Jin also proceeds to rant and nag Joon about not participating even when he knows Joon can get the point

Tae: That should be me...

Hands on thigh 

all day every day

Of course, Joon gets hit when he gets it wrong XD

BLESS THIS ENTIRE 2 EPISODES 

It has given us more Namjin content than the crumbs we’ve gotten for the past 2-3 years T^T

Jin instinctively reaches for the arm that is close to him...

But he pushes it away after realizing that Tae was fishing for the answer from Joon

XD

BIGGEST UWU

Credit: Hobi who made Jin smile like this

Tae... Jin isn’t in your team XD

Don’t discuss with him

Tae listening in on Namjin XD 

HAHAHAHAAH

OMG 

NAMJOON WAS GIVING JIN FINGER HEARTS 

OMGOMGOMGOMG

I touch you

You touch me

We’re just happy Namjinists~

(Please read in the Barney theme song tune)

I’M SHAKING 

JIN?

FALLING INTO JOON?

YES PLEASE

Joon looks as though Jin sucker punched his arm or something XD

Don’t worry, he was groaning at getting the lyrics wrong, not from jin’s soft slap across his arm

Joon’s guns can take a few hits from jin

Namjoon? non non

ARMJoon is what he is

You think that’s it? NON NON

We are jumping straight into episode 60!

Let’s Get it~

Bubbly Jin casually touching Tae’s exposed knee~

Joon swerving out of Jin’s reach after he got the translations wrong

He knew he was gonna get hit

This is domestic

Noobs? NO

Noots? YES

Now we know, Jin nags/scolds in uwu-mode

noot!Jin with his pouty lips ranting at Joon for not trying hard enough at the game 

(Please jin, you didn’t even get any right XD let Joon live XD )

JUSTICEFORJIMIN2K19

I love Joon, I love Jin

BUT LET’S BE REAL 

JIMIN DID FANTASTIC 

He practically gave everyone the answer but got snubbed XD

JUSTICEFORJIMIN!!!

Jin shaking his hand around until Joon grabs it 

DOMESTICITY AT IT’S FINEST

That Taejin eye contact

Ft. Jin’s smile at Tae’s adorableness

(Notes: I actually have the same bunny hat thingy and being the crackhead that I am, I wore it while re-watching + writing this post)

This is crackhead culture

Jin: Let me just put my xxthousand dollars watch on this white fluffy thing

Tae’s cute face when he saw Jin’s antics 

TAEJIN IS SO FCKING GREAT

WE LIVE 

Ft. Namjoon eyeing the whole exchange

What do you know?

Namjoon immediately does the same with his xxthousand dollars watch

Namjin = crackhead duo

Couple watch + couple watch on bunny hat 

Jin and Tae whining about wanting to eliminate Hobi from the game since he failed the round

Production team loves hobi ok? LET HIM LIVE

Hobi shooting love rays at Jin with his aegyo voice and his flapping bunny ears~

FORGIVE HIM JIN!

LOOK AT THE ADORABLENESS

HOW DO YOU NOT?!

Jin cheekily laughing it off when Joon whined about Jin’s team-kill move 

Ft. Tae patting Jin’s back

Jin: Your name was all I could remember

IF THAT AIN’T A CONFESSION OF SORTS, IDK WHAT IS

That’s some romantic shit ok?

After that line, Jin proceeds to put his hand on Joon’s leg...

Mayhaps I’m a happy Namjinist

Ft. Bangtan being fellow Namjin shippers

Jin cheering on bunny!Joon who is up against real!bunny!JK with a smack on the back

Cheap!Jinmin moment where chim’s foot touches jin’s

But we’re desperate rn so we’ll take all that we can get

Tae’s knee touching Jin’s leg~

There’s plenty of space and Jin even lifted his legs to take up more space but...

Taejin: MUST.BE.CLOSER

Once again, Jimin is channeling his inner Namjinist

Mayhaps I alive’nt

Jin: Why are you snacking when there’s a priceless snacc right beside you? Joon: *nom* Jin: HECK! I’M AN ENTIRE FULL-COURSE MEAL!

Touchy Jin back at it again

His small and subtle nudges sends

His cotton bud fists

T^T

Dear Namjin,

Please NVR stop flirting

Sincerely,

EVERYONE

Jin’s little happy grab

Joon looking pleased AF 

Happy Namjin is the BEST Namjin

NAMJOON YOU BIG DUMB DUMB

JIN OBVIOUSLY WANTED A HUG FROM YOU

T^T

HUGSFORJIN2K19

Because of Joon’s bad timing, they ended up with hand holding again

Joon you dummy

Jin CLEARLY GRabbed ONTO JOON’S HAND

but Joon the panicked boy hand to snatch his hand out of jin’s cotton bud grip

KIM NAMJOON. STOP PULLING AWAY!!!

As much as I nag about Joon ruining Namjin moments...

Is his arm alright?

Jin has hit it for god knows how many times...

PLease let ARMJOON be ok...

Tae: Seriously? Haven’t they had enough? Yoongs: That could’ve been me... JK: JUST SAY YOU WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND AND GO Joon: Who cares what you gays think. I’m marrying him. Chim: I’ve honestly seen enough Namjin for a long time Hobi: Disgusting

JUST HOLD HIS HAND FFS JOON

Yoongi becomes humble in front of a nagging Jin

XD

IF THAT AINT DOMESTiCITY

Taejinists, we got some crumbs too!

This frame might seem normal to you guys

BUT take note that Jin was sitting with his right leg outstretched behind Joon

Which means when Joon leaned back, his arm was encasing Jin’s leg towards himself...

See it to believe it

This is some boyfriend culture right there

Namjoon probably thought no one would notice since everyone was distracted with the candy counting

BUT WE SEE IT ALL 

T^T

Tae complaining that his scissors was ignored to a smiley jin

Jinnie happily hitting Joon before leaning into Joon’s thigh

Seriously those 2 are so domestic 

WE LOVE

Is this love, yeah Is this love, yeah Sometimes I know, yeah Sometimes I don't, yeah

They’ve got both hands clutched together

IF THIS AIN’T YOUR SHIP

IDK WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU

Happiness radiates off them

There’s probably so many mentions of them leaning into each other to whisper already

But this bij will never get tired of it

This is Namjin teasing Jimin about his phrasing of words

Namjin are the evil uncles that make fun of the ones younger than them

They are being so comfortable with each other

Jin’s knee is practically on Joon’s thigh

And they are leaning against each other’s side

T^T

We’ve REALLY missed Namjin a lot

BLESS THIS TEamINg

That’s all for this post! 

Hopefully, BTS Run 58 - The Jin Harem will come soon...

Hope you guys enjoyed the 2-part special!

Until Next time~

[crowned-ladybug]

I’ve been meaning to get around to this for ages and I’m finally doing it now. So: since I’m not gonna write a fic on it probably (def not on the entire thing), here’s what happens after the end of That Sad Rivals Fic I Posted The Other Day

Warning: it is Long. Like, 5k words long.

Actual warning: blood, injury, self-esteem issues

OC blog is @menagerie-of-morons

The first one to notice that Jackie’s unconscious is ofc Marvin, thanks to the whole magic thing. He doesn’t actually immediately Know he’s out, just that Something Changed and when he looks down and sees his eyes closed + that he doesn’t react to being moved he realises what’s up and he swears his heart stops for a moment

Having Jackie injured and bloody and out cold in his arms brings up some Bad Memories

He starts looking rapidly between Stephen and Jackie, and at this point he’s in full Panic Mode and would probably be screaming and crying if they were alone

Stephen catches on p much immediately too, this whole thing goes down in the matter of seconds. He tries his best to stay calm or at least Look calm and keep his voice steady as he orders Teddy, Chase and Anraí to stay back (they can linger just pls don’t get in the way) and Marvin to help him carry Jackie to the lil infirmary connected to Stephen’s office

It ends up as just Marvin carrying Jackie bc can you imagine trying to pry him away from Marvin now? You literally can’t

Teddy, Anraí and Chase wait outside the door all crammed together to see what’s going on and Anraí slowly drapes himself over the other two bc they’re all scared and need the comfort. Teddy absently pets his head and Anraí almost cries (he’s trying really hard not to)

Marvin gets to help with healing this time but Stephen tells him right at the start that the moment he doesn’t do as he’s told (unspokenly mostly referring to “stop pushing yourself too far”) Stephen will force him to leave and that’s more than enough to make Marvin behave bc goddamn does he Not Want To Leave, Ever

The whole healing and patching up goes by in a blur bc they’re all just tired and confused and scared and running mostly on adrenaline. Stephen is used to this as much as he can be, and Marvin is so emotionally fucked up and sees so much blood everywhere it kinda loses meaning to him after a while (yknow like when you say a word so much it doesn’t sound like a word anymore? That.) At the door, Chase eventually turns around despite feeling shit about it and just hugs Anraí for comfort bc he just can’t watch, and after a while Teddy too looks at random corners and equipment in the room more than at what’s going on at the bed. Anraí can watch but it’s in part thanks to how unfamiliar he is with human anatomy

Marvin only dares speak once they’re all done, Jackie is all bandaged up and stitched together and magically healed to some extent. It’s mostly hiccups bc of how much he’s been crying and he asks wtf could have even happened?? And Stephen just sighs and he sounds and looks So Tired and says he wishes they knew but maybe they’ll find out when Jackie wakes up

Stephen knows better than to try to force Marvin to leave this time

He looks So Miserable and Stephen’s heart breaks for him bc here’s this proud ass goddamn Idiot he normally loves getting into playful arguments with and calling out for his bullshit, and who’s normally so dignified and smooth and a lil smug, and even when he’s not he’s full of brightness and fuckin fondness, all that fondness he somehow collected along the way - and now he looks so broken and small. He’s shaking and crying and barely daring to look away from Jackie, let alone let go of him, and it’s so heartbreaking seeing someone usually so collected and happy and content so fucked up.

And it runs through his head that Marvin’s gonna be all dehydrated now from all this crying, and he can’t allow that. He also can’t allow him to just stay sitting balanced on the edge of the bed bc he’s too tired to stand but doesn’t wanna take up too much space or disturb Jackie.

They have an armchair in the infirmary I shit you not. It has wheels and they keep it in a corner covered with a sheet when they don’t need it but they knew one day they Would need it bc there’d come another day when someone gets badly hurt and someone else wants to sit vigil by their side, and they might as well do that not entirely horribly uncomfortable. And so they got an armchair in the infirmary.

So Stephen gets the armchair and denies all help offered by Marvin bc he’s not sure if there’s anything more than meets the eye with the constant touching (he’s Smart, okay?) or if it’s just bc of how anxious and exhausted Marvin is, but either way he doesn’t wanna make him let go of Jackie’s hand if he doesn’t need to, for everyone’s sake.

So he pushes the armchair over and tugs Marvin into sitting in it and Marvin immediately curls up against the armrest of it while still holding Jackie’s hand.

And fuck, Stephen is so tired, but he’s gotta take care of all these scared kids first, he can’t rest until he knows they’ll all be okay. He asks the Door Gang if someone could go get them, mostly Marvin, some stuff – a blanket and pillow or two, a bottle of something to drink, Marvin’s phone and/or 3DS and a good book, so that they can both distract themselves. And maybe a change of clothes bc they both got p bloody.

Bc Stephen doesn’t feel ready to let Jackie out of his sight yet either.

Chase immediately volunteers for the fetch quest bc he’s glad to be helpful and Do Something aside from staring at all his friends looking so broken and small. And now Anraí is torn, bc he doesn’t know if he should stay and watch over everyone in the infirmary or to go with Chase to help him (and watch over Him), until Teddy pats his arm and tells him he’s got it covered here, he should go with Chase. So he does.

They come back with the best blankets and pillows in the house, and as comfortable clothes as they could find, and Marvin’s black cat plushie, and orange juice, and even remember to bring chargers for both phones And the 3DS. And then Anraí runs off again, then comes right back and takes Chase too bc he’s still p clueless in the kitchen, and then they come back a lil later with a pot of freshly brewed tea and mugs and stuff to put in the tea.

For a moment they even feel happy over completing their Quests so well

And then they see everyone else again and that joy is gone. Bc Marvin is curled up in the armchair still, but now wrapped in a blanket and presumably in different clothes bc there’s a pile of bloodied ones on the floor in the corner, and hugging his cat plushie with his free hand. Stephen is across from him on the other side of the bed, in an only moderately comfortable chair, just staring into nothing, and Teddy is leaning on the back of Marvin’s armchair. He absently reaches out to fiddle with a strand of Marvin’s hair that falls near his hand, but the moment he touches it Marvin shakes his head violently and whimpers.

Bc Marvin doesn’t wanna be touched at all rn anyway (except for yknow, holding Jackie’s hand) and usually Jackie is the only one who gets to and does play with his hair and He Doesn’t Wanna Think About All That Now.

Stephen tries to shoo everyone but Marvin away bc it’s okay, we got this now, you can go to sleep bc goddamn it’s late, but none of them want to leave. Anraí actually just goes “Fuck That!” a lil too loudly. And that’s how they end up all camping out there for a while.

They bring more blankets and pillows and the rest of them just sit on the floor. They even bring snacks jic someone’s stomach will eventually feel up for eating, but none of them do. They end up talking after a while, of random shit and anecdotes and whatnot to help distract themselves, and everyone but Marvin takes part. They call it quits when Chase falls asleep hugging Teddy’s arm, and they have to wake him up again to get him into bed.

Getting him off to bed ends up as him, Anraí and Teddy all piled onto one bed (bc Chase is a fancy bastard with a double bed) and they swear it’s “just five minutes” but when Stephen checks in on them before going to sleep himself he finds them asleep in a pile. Chase may or may not fall off the bed by morning without waking up and the only part of him that remains on is the leg Anraí wrapped his tail around in his sleep.

Stephen is the last one to leave, bc nothing has changed in hours so he hopes that’ll keep up while he sleeps. He tells Marvin to call him as soon as something does happen, even if it seems minor or ends up being a false alarm, it’s okay. Marvin just nods, and lets Stephen hug him, and then v hoarsely says goodnight.

And so Marvin is left to sit vigil on his own again.

  The first thing Jackie knows when he wakes up is the dull ache everywhere in his body, and then sharper pain in a Lot of different spots. The next thing he doesn’t even consciously acknowledge, but it’s Marvin’s magic surrounding him, which he’s just so used to at this point he doesn’t really bat an eye.

The third thing is that he remembers that he’s sad, or supposed to be sad at least. He doesn’t know why, he just is, and for now he’s not too bothered about finding out. But he figures that if he’s sad and Marvin is here, then the easy solution is to talk to him or cuddle with him or something, and then maybe he won’t be sad anymore.

When he opens his eyes he finds a mostly asleep Marvin with his head resting on the edge of the bed, the armchair he’s still mostly in pulled up as close as it will go, and holding his hand. And that + yknow, getting a glimpse of his own arm all bandaged up finally makes him remember Why he’s here and what happened.

And in bright daylight, he feels like shit about it! It was a shitty way to handle everything and bad for Everyone and right now he doesn’t even understand Why he felt the need to do that and he really, really wishes he didn’t. Bc now everything Hurts, and he knows he must’ve scared everyone too. And he must’ve Especially scared poor Marvin, who’s here falling asleep on the edge of the infirmary bed, his blanket mostly on the floor and his face smudged from crying. Bc Jackie doesn’t know Everything about how Marvin handled it the first time something like this happened or why it fucked him up so much, but he knows that it Did and that alone should’ve been enough reason for him to take care of himself, bc he’d never wanna put Marvin through whatever hell he went through the first time.

And yet he did anyway.

He knows this whole thing is gonna lead to so many unpleasant conversations now, and he hates it and wants to postpone it as much as possible. He doesn’t wanna have to look his friends in the eye (he won’t, he’ll stare at anything else possible to avoid looking at them anyway) and tell them that he went and almost got himself killed bc of some stupid self-esteem issues.

But he doesn’t wanna deal with any of that rn so instead he decides to wake Marvin as gently as he can bc they probably Both need comfort rn. He starts by just rubbing circles into the back of his hand, and that alone is enough, bc p much as soon as he starts to move Marvin jolts awake, eyes wide in alarm, clearly never having meant to doze off in the first place.

And then he sees Jackie, awake and looking at him with a small, gentle smile, and he starts to cry again.

It takes some convincing that no, it’s okay, he won’t get super hurt from it, but eventually Jackie manages to tug Marvin onto the bed with him. Bc goddamnit, maybe making space for both of them Will hurt for a bit, but Marvin is sad and scared and probably spent an entire night sitting in an armchair and nodding off on the edge of the bed, and Jackie wouldn’t mind some cuddling either despite the pain, so fuck it. They make it work.

Marvin eventually ends up on his side while Jackie still lies on his back, and he holds onto him, careful not to hurt him more, and he just...cries. He tries his best to be quiet and not gross about it, and eventually it turns into mostly just small, breathless hiccups bc he’s already been crying so much. Jackie isn’t sure what to say to make it better, and his voice is hoarse and quiet, but he says stuff like “it’s okay” and “I’m here” and “we’re safe, nothing bad’s gonna happen now”. Sometimes Marvin mumbles something back, and most of it sounds suspiciously like “I love you”, so Jackie says it back every time he thinks he hears it.

He feels bad about it afterwards, but after a while, despite Marvin’s crying and occasional nervous fidgeting, he drifts off again.

  The next time he wakes up again he comes to fairly quickly, and finds himself in the middle of a stand off, because on one side he’s got Stephen standing next to the bed, trying really hard not to smile through his mock-angry expression, on the other he’s got Marvin still lying next to him and holding his arm and staring up at Stephen like he’s the world’s most horrible traitor.

Turns out Stephen told Marvin that he should probably not be cuddling his asleep and v injured boyfriend and Marvin called him an asshole for it.

And honestly the whole thing is kinda just…..sweet and goofy for a lil bit?? Marvin finally smiles when he sees Jackie awake and Jackie finds it ridiculous himself but his heart does a happy lil backflip at that, and he feels v giddy when Marvin gives him a “good morning” kiss on the cheek. Stephen v fondly tells him he’s glad he’s finally awake before nagging Marvin until he begrudgingly sits up and lets Stephen do a check-up on Jackie.

Jackie is well enough thanks to Stephen’s expert work + Marvin’s magic that he can at least leave the infirmary and instead is moved to one of the couches in the living room, where he’s told to still stay on his ass as much as possible, but at least he’s more comfortable and gets to hang out with everyone else. He gets a change of clothes and also breakfast (and so does Marvin bc he hasn’t eaten yet either) and eventually Marvin snuggles up with him (he had a shit night, okay) and they play pokemon together (a lot of handing the 3DS back and forth and “oh god why did you do that, come on let me do it” “no, fuck you”) when there’s no conversation going on with anyone else around.

And for a lil while Jackie feels content despite the pain and being stuck in bed (couch), bc he’s safe and cosy and everyone is being nice to him without babying him and he gets to criticise Marvin’s pokemon naming practices as much as he wants.

(They’re playing the same Moon save that Marvin had played the first time Bad Things happened to Jackie, and in which he has a shiny ribombee named after Jackie, called ShortySofboy, which is short for “Shorty McSoftboy” bc it didn’t fit.)

  They know they’re not in any immediate danger (Anraí assured them that none of his kind are anywhere Near the house, and Marvin has wards up in case they Did decide to come pay them a visit), so they let Jackie have his nice morning instead of interrogating him. But all enjoyable mornings must come to an end and Anraí is the one who eventually slips up and all casually asks Jackie “what the fuck were you doing out there last night, anyway?”

And Jackie has to scramble for a lie to tell.

Marvin feels Jackie’s pulse jump (bc he’s still right next to him, he is Not Leaving) and gives Anraí a very disapproving look and Anraí refuses to look at him after that. Jackie kinda retreats into his shell for a lil while to come up with something, but the others assume it’s bc he doesn’t wanna talk about/remember all the events from last night.

It barely helps Jackie at all tho bc goddamnit Anraí looks genuinely sorry for bringing it up too early and Marvin is looking at him all soft and concerned, he doesn’t Deserve them being so kind to him when he was out there doing Bullshit Reckless Things he Knew would get him hurt.

He is This Close to just saying he’d rather not talk about it, but he might as well, right? Sooner or later it Will happen, maybe if he does it now he won’t have to tell Everyone, they’ll just discuss amongst themselves. Which isn’t likely bc they’re more respectful than that, but he can hope, right?

“I...I did some very stupid shit last night.”

He can feel Marvin shift next to him and he can see Anraí’s ear flick curiously and he can practically Feel them wanting to tell him he’d never done anything wrong in his life ever but not knowing if they Should bc they don’t know the full story yet.

So he tells them he went to one of the places they never go, ever, because they Know they’re swarming with more monsters than all of them together could handle on a good day, and tried to pick off a few. Knowing full well the few would turn into many. He tells them, in a small voice, that he doesn’t even know how he got away.

He doesn’t tell them that he remembers running off a ledge, not even sure he could fly anymore, then flying as fast as he possibly could, and crashing in an alley bc he was too exhausted to even land properly anymore.

He carefully, deliberately avoids mentioning Why.

And so, of course, they ask.

Anraí just looks shocked and still so sorry for bringing it up, bc Jackie obviously doesn’t wanna talk about it. And Marvin looks worried and even scared, but also confused, bc he knows he’s missing Something, there’s something here he missed but should’ve seen long ago. Maybe he could have prevented this.

But Jackie doesn’t see any of that, bc he can’t make himself look up and see how sorry they are, see their concern and worry, knowing he did this all because he doesn’t know how to deal with his own shitty feelings, not even for a moment considering how it’d affect his friends. He keeps his eyes fixed on his lap, and tries to brace himself for when it hits. For explaining Why.

Marvin is the one to ask it. “But...why?” The rest of the question is lost somewhere, but Jackie gets it. They all get it.

He sounds so small and uncertain, Jackie has to keep himself from wincing.

“Because I...I suck at handling my own fucking feelings. So I went off and did some stupid shit.”

He sounds so angry and disappointed, but at himself, and Marvin and Anraí want to comfort him but Can’t bc they don’t know How.

“I wanted to prove that I’m worth something!”

The end of it almost comes out as a yell, but it’s choked and broken and desperate, and Jackie sounds like he’s about to cry.

He is.

“I wanted to prove that I’m not just here for comic relief, I can hold my own and handle shit myself! I’m not just a little idiot to be babied and saved! I’m not holding you guys back!”

He’s crying, but he doesn’t even care to wipe the tears away bc he’s Angry and Tired and just wishes he could go back and not do this, but he knows he’d do it again anyway. He needed to prove himself Somehow, even if he chose the wrong way to do so.

He feels out of breath and his throat hurts and it’s an effort to even just swallow properly. Every cut and bruise and stitch hurts.

“...and I wasn’t even right. I had to be saved anyway.”

He wishes he could just get up and leave and not have to be part of this conversation anymore. He doesn’t wanna see their worried, sad faces and hear their pity. He doesn’t want any of this. But he can’t leave, bc everything hurts and he’d just be held back out of worry anyway. And then Stephen would kill him if he found out.

He doesn’t want their uncertain little half-sentences that get cut off on their own anyway. He tells them to save it. And they do.

He’s pretty sure he’s shaking.

Anraí asks if there’s anything they can do to help, and he just shrugs. He doesn’t know, doesn’t care. But then Marvin asks if he can hug him, and…

He doesn’t know. Does he want comfort? Does he deserve it?

He nods.

And so he’s drawn into a careful, gentle hug, Marvin’s hands avoiding all his worst injuries, like he knows where they are without looking, and he does. Bc his magic is still there, reading Jackie’s vitals like it’s second nature at this point. And he doesn’t talk, which Jackie is grateful for, he says nothing aside from a quiet, genuine “I’m sorry.” And Jackie finds himself pressing into him the best he can without it hurting.

He just wants to hide here from the world for a while.

  There’s more talks. Awkward, nervous talks that Jackie has to mentally prepare himself for and finishes shaking, with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. Marvin usually holds his hand or rubs his back through them, not caring if anyone bats an eye at the “unwarranted” PDA during a heavy conversation. All he cares about is that it makes things a bit easier for Jackie.

They talk about a lot of things, over time. They talk about Jackie’s self-esteem, his fear of getting left behind or being a burden to the group. About his unhealthy ways of coping with that. About how this mission or any mission doesn’t determine his worth and place in the team. About how they all love and value and respect him, and about how they could do more to show that, to keep this from happening again, to keep him from getting lonely with his thoughts.

And so they try to make it all better.

The effort they put in shows and sometimes results in the same effect as a clumsily supportive parent cheering you on through something they barely know anything about, but did their enthusiastic research on the internet anyway. They do their best to make sure he knows how much they value him, how proud they are of him, how amazed they are by his abilities. That he’s just as much a part of the team as everyone else is. That they know he can hold his own.

It doesn’t go quick and it doesn’t work perfectly immediately, but they work on it. The bad thoughts don’t go away right away and fully, but Jackie learns to work through them and tell them they’re wrong.

And this time, he’s got help.

  Marvin wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s a restless night, he’s already woken up and struggled himself back to sleep three times. He’s about to just roll over and try again, when he decides that maybe he should chance if Jackie is awake. Cuddling? An all nighter? Who the fuck cares he just wants to do Something other than This and Jackie sounds like the perfect company for that.

Except he finds Jackie’s room empty.

And that’s it, he doesn’t look for any logical explanations or clues or anything, his brain immediately kicks into overdrive and flashes him back to the last time Jackie disappeared at night, and then came back bleeding out and passed out in his arms.

It is Not a fun feeling.

He doesn’t wake anyone anyway bc What If It’s A False Alarm, he’d never live that down (everyone would forgive him, but him? He wouldn’t forget the shame), so he just goes looking, hoping Jackie is in their giant ass house Somewhere doing something completely mundane and safe.

The bathroom is empty, he could already see that bc there was no light coming out from under the door, but he checks anyway. The kichen and living room are also empty, and at this point his logic is getting fucky from all the tiredness and anxiety, so he barely knows where he should look next.

He checks the indoor garden.

It’s so ridiculously calm compared to everything he’s feeling rn. There’s a cloudless sky with perfect constellations above, a slight breeze weaving through the plants that’s coming from nowhere, and the flickering lil lights they call fireflies but don’t know for Sure bc they’ve spent night after night trying to catch them and never could. It’s so quiet and peaceful, he doesn’t wanna yell, even if he knows none of his sleeping friends would hear and wake up to it.

He hurries along the path to the lil resting area they have, with a couple benches and lots of pillows and fairy lights. He sees the fairy lights shining through the trees before he sees the rest.

And he finds Jackie sitting on one of the benches, a book in his hands. Safe and sound.

All the anxiety and adrenaline disappears in that single moment and Marvin almost collapses, which sounds hella dramatic but he’s fuckin Tired and was Not prepared to panickedly scour the house for his boyfriend at like 2am.

Jackie can see that Something Is/Was Wrong so he’s v gentle when he talks but also he makes grabby hands at Marvin until he 1. giggles at it and 2. comes over to sit.

“Shit night?” “Yeah...” “Same.”

Marvin wants to just v simply tell why he’s here but instead he just spills a whole lot of thoughts at once and Jackie listens patiently. “I couldn’t sleep and I went to find you, bc why the fuck not, right? Worth a try. But you weren’t in your room so I got stupid anxious bc What If You Left, again, to get hurt and prove yourself. And I was worried. Not bc I don’t think you can handle things! You can. I trust you and I believe in you and I know you can handle shit on your own, I promise! But you’re also my best friend and my boyfriend and I Love You and I’m worried about you getting hurt bc I really don’t want you to get hurt. Not bc you can’t handle it, just…bc it sucks.”

That, fyi, is a Lot of Feeling Talk to get out of Marvin at once, or at all. Jackie is kinda baffled but also, like, it’s in the middle of the night, and tired, just-came-down-from-an-adrenaline-rush Marvin is a Very feelsy Marvin.

And so Jackie tells him that it’s okay, he gets it, and also that he’s actually having a good night mental health-wise, he just couldn’t sleep bc of restlessness. It happens. But he knows the reason Marvin worries about him is bc he cares and he’s been getting better about in general seeing worry as caring instead of condescending. Marvin is so glad he’s doing better.

At some point Jackie winds up on Marvin’s lap and Marvin hugs him Very Tight and okay Jackie can’t go back to reading like this now but it’s okay bc it’s nice. They eventually end up dozing off sitting which isn’t Super Comfy but they’re fine and neither of them feel like getting up and going back to bed when they actually grow tired enough to fall asleep. But it’s okay.

They just feel a lil cold when they wake up in the morning.