#gonna tag those parts anyway LOL
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nawww imagine yumesai friendship bonding over their boy crushes😭
yumehara tries to get saiki to admit his crush on teruhashi and will not stop asking him about his crushes and he eventually just goes "i dont know about now, but there was this guy, last year.." and shes like.. HUH😭😭
he accidentally goes into a big rant about satou and how stupidly perfect he was and the tactics he used to try and get his attention (strikingly similar to yumeharas typical tactics) and then ends it with "...i dont know if it was a crush, though."
and shes going INSANE
so now, for terus sake and also for her own curiosity, she has to figure out if hes gay or if he likes both☠️
#she tones it down a little because its more clear to her now thats its kind of a sensitive subject for him#but she gets to gush about kaido and he listens#reluctantly.. VERY reluctantly but he DOES listen#could easily make this kubosai btw because omg.. imagine#they start talking about cute boys at school and she gets him to admit that kuboyasu is really cute#so now we have platonic yumesai plotting over platonic kubokai oh my GODDD#yume puts them in far too many situations that are a bit too similar to double dates and they dont suspect much but saiki is MORTIFIED#sorry i hid half the story in tags again#gonna tag those parts anyway LOL#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#yumehara chiyo#kubosai#yumekai
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i might be thinking too much about this rather irrelevant background story for the ancient queen and ganondorf (.. yes still botw2/totk rewrite ................ its background stuff you dont get to see, it would just be a line in a hidden diary and some environtmental story telling- that bracelet being in his room- wrote a longer text post about it today but uh .. heres a doodle that took me too long to make bndksbnsd)
#ganondoodles#art#zelda#doodle#ganondorf#ganondoodles rewrites totk#botw2#i hope using that tag is fine#i dont even know if im gonna give this rewrite an actual name#though i did think about leaving it the same but the 'tears' being tears as in ripped apart#but how would i make that clear in written form lol#any YES i am thinking too much about tiny background details that are optional to find#i like the idea of having both quests for lore enthusiasts and those that only care about gameplay#and yes my pattern of pairings is showing .........#the only thing i like about rauru was the possible ship with ganondorf bc it made the 'story' mildly more interesting#and i didnt change that to not make it gay (hello? who am i??)#but bc 1. i wanted to give the sonia figure (here ancient zelda) the main part 2. .. she is the one with sealing powers#the colors always look better on my tablet but i think its calibrated right- i did somethign with my desktop screen once though#so im hoping it looks normal for everyone else#anyway- goodnight (1am gang lets goooo)
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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AND THEREFORE I NEVER LIE
#wordstag#notwordswordstag#Guys. Sidney Gish. no dogs allowed. Listen today.#I didn't bake anything today so I'm compensating by drawing something. Lol.#I fear I should give her some sort of tag (everyone else has one) but I don't really know what yet.#in due time... for now I am resigned to going though my flash cards because dear lord I forgot about those and let's just say . 207 cards.#We were kind of slaking I fear.#I started watching angels of death it's like . Ok. Better than the last show i watched lol#I wiiiish we got more world building and whatnot but I'm also only like. 5 episodes in.#and the standard of the last show I watched is a really cruel standard in terms of world building#Anyway. I will be off. I noticed a minor mistake in the drawing but I won't tell you 😼 because I'm soo good at not giving up my secrets#You know how you have to open a sketchbook with like a bunch of scribbles i think I'm gonna do that before I post this. As to set#the tone and such. Also first post of the year that's some pressure man#anyway that ^ post was the fish. Everyone say thank you fish#Fish lore that fish was originally held up by a hand but I used my killer art skills to edit that part of the drawing out
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i want to put link in isat. im sure hed do fine. the heros spirit endures
#my post#i was gonna say like. 'probably not the worst thing the heros spirit has endured.' but actually#man. idk. ppl like to say majoras mask is super dark. i think bc ur constantly faced with tragedy in a very direct way#zelda is usually slightly less in your face abt that stuff. mm crosses the line for that juust enough for it to be Particularly Notable#loz generally isnt afraid to address the Horrors. or at least acknowledge them#i dont mean this in a 'mm is darkest zelda' or whatever kind of way. (see jacob gellers video 'every zelda is the dsrkest zelda')#i mean it as like. mm is just louder about it#yknow. but is mm is speaking loudly then. if u put isat next to loz then it would drown mm out quite easily#in large part bc the story is just told differently#the characters are much more expressive in every way. bc the story is being told through expression#whereas loz tells stories specifically via player action#if that makes sense?#loz focuses on the journey. isat focuses on how the journey feels#not to mention links permanent 😶. which definitely influences this#honestly link as a general character (tho especially botw link) is very similar to siffrin. im not gonna try to put that into words rn but#maybe another time#anyways. if isat were told more like a zelda game i think it would be along mm and botw#i say those 2 specifically bc time loop and death and loss. lol#if the reverse were true. if loz ganes were told more like isat. then god dude i dunno#i might go through the plots of each and measure out how much i think the bitch(link) is Going Through It sometime#not rn. but sometime#initial gut thoughts tho. i think probably oot sksw la andd. possibly ww. wojld have similar emotional impact#sksw especially. have you seen his face when he sees zelda in the crystal thing. god#id say botw too but tbh. i kind of think its emotional impact is best as is.#it leaves itself a lot of room to breathe. you can rlly like. think abt it.#man these tags are off topic from the original post. eh its my post who care
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finished the basic refs just in time for artfight! (definitely going to shade the drawings afterwards tho :p )
#my art#my ocs#ocs#original character#character design#im not tagging all those characters.#but uh ya very happy i just remade these instead of reusing last years#especially cause i redesigned deen n plot on the side#but also my hand writing is so bad 😭 i cant even draw good words 🤡#anyways i was gonna use the notes part to make notes for ppl when drawing them but uh.#my mind went into a zen like state and i became incapable of all thought 💚#also i didnt wanna draw the weapons so i homestuck'd it lol
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I've got like 5+ other creative projects i want/need to do, but holiday cookies gotta be made, lol. Started with almond cloud cookies <3
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Ft. A lump of soon to be choc chip cookies
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#frankly. id love to have my shit together enough to do those baking challenges through Dec#but uh... yeah. i dont have enough people to bake for yet to justify it to myself anyways lol#i need a baking/cooking tag in case anyone doesnt want to see these. uhhhhh#[teles cooks]#that'll do perhaps. for now at least#idk. technically this is a interests/hobby blog thing. and baking counts as both. so??#was thinking about the folks that come around for rbs or art. and instead get the odd ramble and baking stuff. like. welp :/#ya get what ya get ig. tis an everything blog. theres gonna be a bit of everything :]#also also. this is super totally unrelated but its been bothering me all day-#whyyyyyy do some of these younger queer kids wanna put everyone in a box againnnn#witnessed a debate about the validity of he/him lesbians again. and i wanted to claw my eyes out#like. augh. 1. read your history. 2. why does it matter so much?#maybe its part of the journey now or smth. idfk. back when i was in my early teens i just worried about going to hell and stuff#now its like. you gotta become a little gender cop to justify yourself to yourself now or smth#its wack. and as a technical he/him lesbian. whenever the fancy takes me. who gives a shit?? dont be an ass. too many of those these days#it makes me feel old somehow. like christ. chill out. theres so many other far more important problems than lesboys. stfu#its tiktok tho. aint it :/ usually is. augh#...anywho. uh? yay for the holidays? one last hurrah before we all have to buckle down for who knows what? yippee?#ok oven beeped. chit chat time over
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for a man who was on twitter crying 2 days ago about a quote from billie eilish about how men's bodies arent critiqued in the public eye the way womens are.... saying he was insulted for years for being "too skinny" ..... he just keeps making tweets insulting men's appearances, it is SO. so.
#sorry im bringing the unmitigated hate for twitter users to this platform flkdsj#i was cracking up over this thread of guy leafs twt users getting pissed about that clumsy quote in a tweet#as if women are the reason why ppl are bullied and not the patriarchal ideals in this society we live in#and the endless spiral of negatively commenting on ppls appearances. ESPecially womens from men who are just misogynistic but#u can tell how many of these ppl havent had to think a day in their lives abt any complex problems by the way they tweet hours later#and days later after those complainy poor men tweets#like u are literally a problem in a society. u.#sorry im postng this here im legit gonna tag it as#hate#JKFLDSJFFJLKSD HATEFUL RANTS ALWAYS BUT my god do i hate that guy and all those guys in those tweets actually it makes me laugh#anyway.#this is a comment usually saved for lous texts but. i already did the first part so . my public diary actually#will prob delete but . ugly ppl internally. maybe they ARE fucked up from all that bullying but. LOL#too skinny.. literally crying laughing at that one
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Tried to get a better look at the front of him but the quality is just so shit??? Anyway, looks like he's got armor that comes up to his knees now which I kinda prefer??? Tbh I hated his armor bits so much actually. I hated his sabbatons the most. Absolutely awful. They looked goofy and stupid and they pissed me off every second I had to see his feet. But this looks more like the feet parts are shorter and they aren't stupidly long. Thank FUCK. Thank you Square. No more stupid ass sabbatons on grandpa. It looks like he's got some kind of armor on his left thigh to hip as well, which is new. Not sure about that, but I'll get used to it. It's not that ugly at least. And yeah of course the glove armor is back as well. It's too iconic to really alter, I know, but god have I always wished it was just on his hand and not all the way up to his elbow. However, aside from the armor, I am sad to note that it looks like his cape isn't tattered like in Dirge(and AC?). I loved the tattered look so it's a shame they went back to the normal one from og 7 but oh well. At least I have the Dirge spikes.
#also i cant really tell but it looks like the armor on his left foot is gone when hes flipping???#probably an error if it is. but to be expected from a trailer of an in development game lol#i like the leg armor actually. gives him more shit going on in the lower leg department#i felt like his were kinda bare bones there so this is a very nice improvement and use of the armor part#*he was not his were lmao#ff7r spoilers#ffviir spoilers#ff7 rebirth spoilers#ffvii rebirth spoilers#final fantasy 7 rebirth spoilers#final fantasy vii rebirth spoilers#im gonna choke a motherfucker if i have to type all those tags AGAIN#good incentive to shut up now i guess lmao#im hungry anyway. the crying wore me out lol#personal
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i forgot how good finishing a long book that u actually like feels ❤️ i havent read a book over 500 pgs without skimming since probably early high school so doing my fucking. homework last night i felt the whimsy of childhood again
#the book was the shining lol#my copy’s like 656(?) pages(?) and for my class on capitalism and literature we had to read all of the last part#fucking. awesome book im gonna be annoying ab book jack torrance forever#the assignment was an openended 1-2 pg reading response (we do these for every lecture) and this week’s assignment was just#and the question was just. ‘what do you see in this novel?’#and my response wound up being. 5 pages at 12pt font so i had to size it down to 11.5 to keep it on 4 pages#mostly ab masculinity social perceptions and neoliberal consumerism#which is the topic of my final paper (also openended) where im gonna use the shining and american psycho to show how those topics#are key formative aspects of neoliberal horror#eeeee i love school and books and reading 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷#my middle school self would be proud she would think this shit rules#anyway. if u made it this far whats ur favorite book uve read so far this year#the shining#stephen king#sprout speaks#bookblr#<- do ppl still use that tag? i feel like a girl with thick rimmed glasses in 2014 typing it
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🌸。*゚+. Sorry to everyone I owe things to. It’s been extremely hard trying to get myself to start working on any replies and remaining starters. Been losing focus and zoning out more frequently these work shifts, so it’s been difficult to do much of anything ;; ;; I’m hoping soon I can kick myself back into gear, but right now my brain is just not having a good time.
Sending good vibes to everyone and well wishes. Hopefully the creative drive keeps strong with y’all ♡
#MUN SPEAKING 🌸 ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ᴾᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ#Still having a rough time processing things. I’ll be okay for like an hour and then suddenly just—#not be okay jfsijdbd This is gonna be one hell of a year to get through…#but hopefully I can kick my butt into gear and get that momentum going again with stuff on here.#That’ll help keep my brain focused on other things and just give some more good times to look forward to ;; ;;#I still have the art stuff too so I’m looking forward to working on those… just… again ;;; ;;; trying to get started first.#The starting is the hardest part for me but I’ll keep trying in the meantime.#Just know I’m not shoving anything aside. I’m actively trying every night at work during my shifts. I just end up staring at my screen#for the whole 10 hour shift ;;; ;;; so… sorry for the wait on replies and stuff ckdjxbebc#I rambled in the tags again— what else is new??? LOL anyways yeah big hugs to all. Might try another inbox call maybe#to keep giving people interaction stuff. Or do like a… perma-inbox thing?? So I know who to bother randomly when I wanna reach out#and not add to anyone’s plate who doesn’t want additional stuff to answer. I KEEP RAMBLING OKAY BYE KISSIES AND HUGS—!!!!!
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MAN idk how to go around wording or talking abt this but let me try still anyways
#in the tags specifically bc I'm a bit of a coward still#anyway. I've made a post abt this before but deleted for the reason that I got Super Embaraased over myself#but gonna try talking abt it again#anyway I've?? thought abt it a bunch and?? I kinda wanna make a loosely 18+ slfshp sideblog?? nothing downright 18+ honestly#just stuff I'd right not post or talk abt it bc I have minors following me (Nothing against them considering I used to be one LOL)#but it also feels? weird to mention or talk abt it here considering I've said I'm aroace and I'm like Super Anxious over how ppl perceive m#I'm the one who defines my sexuality ofc and that's not other ppl's business#but there's also the. the Fear of my reputation being tarnished#bc ik suggestive or 18+ isn't for everyone even if ur an adult and all that. and I respect that! I'll respect ur boundaries and keep-#-that stuff away from u. but I'm hjjghdghs actually lowkey scared I might be viewed less bc I'm fine with it???#sorry I'm not usually used to bringing this up in public and might be shooting my own foot here but. Ig I'm trying to get it out there stil#I wanna feel more comfortable in expressing myself and although I already do that here#there are still parts of me I wanna share to those I'm close to without making the others uncomfortable. in a way#idk idk :'D#🌸 lin speaks!!
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#oh man im bummed out i rly liked the n//u carn__ ival vet event but ofc that was running same time as nik//ke cindy event#i went in the nu tag and its all the winter event hffffff#ill have to check ao3 but its a bummer i missed being able to find fan art on here#maybe ill check if ppl posted in the event name tag later#but hfffffff i ship quin//cy + ga//ru so hard and that event was so cute hfff#earlier i finally got to the second-to last story part of the dr quin/cy story#sucks that the stories take forever to free unlock compared w how i can like instant unlock in the other game lol#((i dont instant unlock anyway tho bc i want to do the conversations w the characters in the other game))#also im stuck on the main story bc i dont have a healer on my main account and my second account doesnt have potential crystals#i should look up tutorials on how to do those hard missions bc the in game tips dont make any sense to me#but ugh i gotta catch up on nik//ke rn and try to sleep early. ill try to figure it out tomorrow#im the absolute worst at turn based games man. im bad at games in general tbh but turn based is like. i dont know what is going on at all#gonna have to buckle down and study tbh like idk how ppl make it past any of these hard levels hhhh#i got past a couple on the sorcerer thing but now im stuck at rin there and in the story like pls dude. pls. im tired.#also pls game pls give me a healer on main. not a single ssr healer.#gonna try and beat the winter event on the second account so i can level up w the crystal things#anyway im procrastinating rn bc i hungy and i dont know if i wanna eat this late hffff#fuck it im gonna do it. eat and game and then try 2 sleep bc im gonna be miserable eating tomorrow after the dentist#rip me if i need a root canal bc im currently doing orthodontics w invisible trays#and idk how thats gonna work if i have a new crown. so hopefully my dental issue is still just fibromyalgia and not the root#man this turned into a real vent post lol#vent#ShitPost.exe#all whispered in the tags like lol#delete later / /
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can I just say that seeing the sword necro preview made me even happier that I invested in Aurene's Fang because Grand High Sovereign Ruju is absolutely going to be using dual-swords for his weaponswap when it comes out. a pair of life-draining Zhaitan's Fangs will be perfect for this rancid little robo-rat man...
#my posts#soto spoilers#kinD OF??#idk if the weapons count but i'll still tag#anyway i needed to comment on this because. yesss#he's already a power reaper and he really needed a swap#and thematically? :) oh these suit him Very well.#his necromancy is some pretty dark and twisted stuff.#like. for real. sacrificing his life for power is exactly his thing because. he's the Void Champion (Mists Edition)#he's so badly corrupted and his body is literally falling apart#at this point his armor is less of an armor and more of an exoskeleton... you don't wanna see what's underneath.#hence why he looks so robotic: he's basically a cyborg.#i've been working on the Zhaitan's Fang skin tbh and now all i need are Jade Runestones. oh this is gonna be Good#but the extra fun part of this too is he'll be fully equipped Immediately since i've got extra swords sitting around now#since i replaced some ascended ones with Aurene's Fang and now i've got a spare ascended power sword in my bank HDHDHD#and i'll probably have enough Runestones by then too tbh#anyway point is i'm hyped to try these things out they look Good (and honestly I'm curious about most of the other weapons too)#pistol guardian might be fun for Flourish Saoirse too so i'm very curious to try those out but We'll See#and thief axe might be fun too for Kriios (a character i never talk about because they still need an actual outfit lol)
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omgjjdjdjs
nibbs?? doing non-chonny Jash art??? surely you jest.
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i'm getting a half eaten McChicken for this :]
#tally hall#tally hall fanart#joe hawley#zubin sedghi#hawaii part ii#it's so weird tagging with those tags instead of the usual cj ones lol#anyways a friend of mine asked me to draw this for them so yeah!!! special thanks to them they're so cool B]#uh i took wayyy too long on this though#procrastinated on the fucker due to a variety of reasons all of them just stupid excuses lol#anyways it's at a point where i feel like it's alright? ish? idk it's not that great a stopping point but i'm tired man#anyways gonna doomscroll and then hopefully sleep. night lads#...kinito for scale
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light of the morning
in which spencer sneaks into bau!reader's hotel room and they share a little more than just the bed
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: softdom!spence x sub reader, munch!spence, unprotected piv sex (dont do that), creampie (hate that word btw) praise, mentions of having to be quiet because morgan is right next door LOL, fluffy, established co-workers/friends with benefits, soooo idiots in love a/n: here is the promised smut. i am literally kicking my feet and twirling my hair and giggling and blushing at my own writing. I'm gonna have a freak out. requests are open like my legs
It’s late when the knock finally comes. Late enough that you’re dozing on the bed above the covers.
It takes you a moment to reorient yourself—you’re rubbing your heavy eyes when you finally get the door.
"Hi."
"Hey," says Spencer, hands awkwardly shoved into his pajama pants pockets. It’s funny, really. He never gets any better at this.
You step aside and he enters the room, looking around as you close and relock the door.
"Did I wake you?"
"How could you tell?"
"You’re in pajamas. And you look tired. I mean—you don’t look bad. You never look bad, I just meant… you don’t look tired but you’re not—I didn’t mean to—"
"Relax," you yawn, putting him out of his misery. "I was joking. I know I look tired." You glance at the digital clock on the nightstand. "It’s late. We have to be up early tomorrow."
"Yeah, I got, uh, sidetracked. Sorry."
He was reading. If it was anyone else, you'd be offended--but a sinkhole could open up under Spencer's feet and he probably wouldn't notice if he was absorbed in a book.
You shrug, a knowing smile lifting the corner of your mouth.
"It’s fine. But I don’t know if tonight is a good night. I really am exhausted."
His eyebrows dart up.
"That’s fine. That’s totally fine. I’ll just, uh—"
When you don’t move from in front of the door, he pauses, unsure. You bite the inside of your cheek, studying his rangy frame and choice of clothing. Blue pajama pants, slippers, grey CalTech zip up hoodie. It feels wrong to describe a 6'1 man as adorable, but that’s how he looks in his sleep clothes. There’s a very real chance, you find yourself thinking, that you are the only member of the BAU to ever see him in something other than slacks and a button-down. He looks so cozy that you kind of really want him in your bed even if he’s not doing anything but sleeping. The invitation slips out before you can think too hard about it.
"You could… stay, anyway, if you want?"
His mouth parts slightly, and those eyebrows raise again. There’s a moment of awkward silence and you are very much beginning to regret your offer, wondering if you somehow violated the sanctity of your co-workers/friends with benefits situtationship. Clumsily you try to backtrack.
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, you can—"
"No, no! You didn’t, I just don’t want you to feel obligated to invite me to stay in your room. I’m right across the hall, I can go back if you want me to."
You smile awkwardly, silent relief replacing the brief anxiety.
"It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before." And not like you wouldn’t have ended up doing it tonight anyway, if things had gone as originally intended.
He chuckles, looking to the floor and nodding. The blush on his face does not go unnoticed by you. "Fair enough."
It’s incredibly endearing how nervous he still gets after six months of this little arrangement.
"Do you wanna get your stuff, or…"
"No, that’s okay. I’ll just go back early tomorrow. The chances of someone seeing me leave your room are significantly higher if I do it so soon after entering."
You squint, unable to tell if he’s fucking with you or if that’s an actual statistically sound probability. And then you realize, blissfully, that you don’t really care.
"Okay, well. Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to brush my teeth."
Once you’re enclosed in the bathroom, hotel vanity lights blinding you as you brush, you find that there is a jittery sort of apprehension buzzing in your chest. But that’s silly. As you yourself pointed out, the two of you have shared a bed many times over the past few months. But the sleeping together is always a byproduct of the sleeping together. Never have you shared a bed in a completely decent, virtuous, strictly non-sexual manner. It’s always been a matter of convenience—less bother if he doesn’t have to worry about sneaking back into his room in the middle of the night when you’re both exhausted. Or maybe that’s just what you’ve been telling yourselves.
You rinse your mouth out and exit the bathroom, flicking off the light and finding that Spencer has indeed made himself comfortable. The hotel room is dark and he’s already under the covers, fiddling with his phone.
"What time should I set the alarm for?" He asks, looking over at you as you crawl into bed, drawing the covers over yourself. "I was thinking 6:23. That should give me enough time to—"
"Sounds perfect," you affirm, wiggling under the blanket as you get comfortable. He schedules the alarm and sets his phone on the bedside table, dousing the room in complete darkness. Your eyes stay open despite, waiting for them to adjust. A few moments of utter silence and stillness pass, and you can tell Spencer is completely stiff next to you.
"Spencer."
“Yeah,” he answers immediately. Like he’s even more wired about this whole situation than you are.
"You know you don’t have to avoid touching me at all costs, right? I’m not a leper."
He looses a nervous laugh.
"I know. We’ve just never really done this."
You frown at the darkness.
"We’ve definitely slept in the same bed before."
"Yeah, but… this feels different."
That, you can’t argue with. Can friends with benefits share a bed just to be near each other? Does that blur some line? And why does it feel more intimate than the sex?
Screw it. If there is one thing you don’t want your relationship with Spencer to be, it is uncomfortable. Uncertain, you can work with. But not uncomfortable. You reach for him, hand sliding under the duvet—and find his hand already waiting for yours.
"I don’t think it’s that different," you lie, interlacing your fingers together slowly.
"Prolonged physical non-sexual contact does have measurable health benefits…" the words are murmured, like the moment is fragile and he doesn’t want to shatter it.
"Can’t argue with the facts," you breathe, trying to modulate the shakiness of your voice. But you have a feeling you’re doing about as good of a job at concealing your nerves as he is. He shifts.
"Can I…"
"Yeah."
Your heart is pounding as he slips one arm under your neck and the other around your waist, pulling you close. Instinctually you curl into him, slinging your top leg over him as you’ve done before, but always dismissed as post-sex brain chemicals making you feel all warm and fuzzy. A neurological reaction that is so solidly scientific, neither of you ever questioned it. But it feels bigger now.
He exhales as you settle against each other—a sound of relief that mirrors your own. He’s so warm, so safe as he envelops you, physically and sensorially. In such close proximity, so clear-headed, you notice each layer of his scent. Toothpaste, lavender, vetiver, detergent. You sort of feel like a creep, but you can’t deny how comforting it is. Nor can you deny the pirouette your heart does when he begins minutely rubbing your back, like he’s not even thinking about it.
"Goodnight," you whisper into his shirt.
"Goodnight," he whispers back.
You fall asleep pretty quickly after that.
------------------------------
It’s unclear what wakes you up—maybe it’s the blue-grey dawn light filtering in through the filthy window (doubtful, it’s still mostly dark) or maybe it’s the blinking green digital clock on the nightstand. 5:02 AM. Your alarm will go off in an hour and 21 minutes.
Sometime in the night you shifted, turning over in your sleep, but Spencer is still holding you close. The arm slung so casually over your waist is slightly domineering, but you manage to rotate again and face him once more. Mere inches away from his face you can see every detail. His expression is so peaceful, it makes your heart ache.
But you’re just friends.
Perhaps he felt you moving, because his eyes flutter open and you watch as they flood with consciousness. He takes you in, takes in his arm over your waist. For a split second you’re nervous he’ll pull away.
"What time is it?" His voice is scratchy with sleep.
"Five."
"Why are you awake? We have over an hour til the alarm goes off."
"Sometimes waking up early is okay."
His eyes flicker between your own, and momentarily you’re paralyzed as you realize this is a limbo state for the two of you in which you’ve never operated. You don’t know what’s acceptable. You don’t know what to do. Being close to him feels so good, that the idea of separating hurts. But you don’t want to make him uncomfortable, or—
He leans forward and kisses you softly. In the blue light of dawn, rather than frenzied and hidden in the dark, a desperate tear of clothes and teeth and hands—it’s almost freeing. All the anxiety you were feeling just seconds ago begins to melt.
Friends.
"You looked anxious," is his whispered answer after he pulls away a moment later, like a kiss is the simplest remedy in the world. He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear. "We should go back to sleep."
"I don’t want to go back to sleep."
The corner of his mouth twitches as he studies you.
"No? What do you want?"
Emboldened by your mutual indiscretion, it’s your turn to kiss him. You feel him smile against your lips, hand finding the back of your neck and raking up through your hair to pull you closer.
The delirium of sleep seems to have softened you, filed down the rough edges of your boundaries and kicked away the lines in the sand. What’s a kiss or two when you’ve just woken up? A small, innocuous display of affection while you’re still barely conscious. Nobody could fault either of you for that. People don’t think clearly when they’ve just been asleep.
So what if your lips part against his, and his other hand finds its way under your shirt to stroke the bare skin of your waist and hips? So what if you hitch that leg over him again and press closer?
Spencer breaks the kiss, still ghosting over your lips.
"I thought it wasn’t a good night?"
"It’s not night time anymore, is it, genius?"
You sneak another kiss, nipping his bottom lip gently as you pull away.
Instead of whatever array of responses you were expecting, Spencer smiles slightly, eyes almost sparkling in the faint light. The hand on your hip moves to your face, gently thumbing across your cheek. He begins to say something, and stops himself—biting his lip to hold back the words.
"What?" you ask, heart dropping. Illusion fracturing.
"I was just—" he begins, pausing for a moment before the words all come out in a rush. "I was just going to tell you how beautiful you are, but I don’t know if that’s something I should say, or if it would feel too… I don’t know…"
He trails off. A rare instance in which he doesn’t have the words.
You do. Intimate. Real. Romantic. And he’s right, it does feel too much like all of those things. But that doesn’t mean you don’t like it, perhaps more than is strictly good for you.
"It’s fine. Thank you."
He continues chewing on his lip for a moment.
"Did I just ruin the mood?"
"No," you laugh, "not at all."
"Thank god," he sighs, surging forward again.
"Since when do you thank god?" You manage between kisses.
He moves to press his lips to your jaw and down your neck.
"Do you want me to talk about the historical and cultural transition of religious expressions into ubiquitous secular colloquialisms right now?"
"Kind of," you breathe.
"No you don’t," he murmurs against your neck as his hands find the hem of your shirt. "You want me to take your clothes off."
Well, he’s not wrong there.
You help him tug the shirt over your head before leaning back into the pillows as he situates himself over you and lavishes more kisses down your neck and collarbones, pausing to suck a mark only when he knows it’s low enough to be covered by your clothing later.
You gasp when his lips brush over your nipple, before running his tongue over the sensitive skin. He glances up at you, and though his mouth is occupied, you can see the humor in his eyes. He loves how sensitive you are—how easy it is to get a reaction out of you.
Of course, you continue to prove him right when he takes the other into his mouth, trying to hold back your little whimpers as he darts his tongue over the peak. Maybe somebody else wouldn’t hear them, but Spencer does. He’s hyper attuned to the sounds you make. Something of a catalogue has begun to form in the back of his mind; he knows exactly what each noise means and how to get them out of you.
Once satisfied, he moves to press a kiss to your sternum.
"You’re gonna be quiet for me, right?" Another kiss above your bellybutton. "Because Morgan is sleeping right on the other side of that wall, and we don’t want to wake him up."
"I’ll be quiet," you promise, somewhat breathlessly. Spencer’s mouth trails lower until he’s pulling your shorts down your legs, leaving you completely naked. He tosses them somewhere on the floor and hooks your legs over his shoulders.
"Good." He plants one last kiss to your thigh and the next one lands right between your legs.
You regret the need to be silent almost as soon as he drags his tongue over your clit. It’s not like the two of you have ever had the privilege of making a lot of noise, as the hotel rooms are always so close to each other, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Instead you opt to rake your hands through his hair and try to take deep breaths. But he knows exactly what you like—he knows starting light and slow, teasing around your most sensitive spot will work you up to the brink of insanity, just like he knows gentle circles make your back arch and elicit the prettiest little moans.
"More," you beg, and the hands wrapped around your thighs rub soothingly, reassuring you that if you can just be patient you’ll get what you want.
He takes your aching clit into his mouth, sucking lightly and you’re forced to clap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sob of pleasure you can’t hold back. Spencer keeps it up until you’re practically riding his face, teasing your dripping entrance with the tip of his tongue when you get too close.
"Fuck, please, Spence," you whisper through your fingers, hips rutting in your desperation. Somehow it always ends up like this—with him in charge and you begging. Not that you have a problem with it, of course.
He hums into you, and if the way his tongue moves back to circling your clit with newfound fervor is any indication, is apparently satisfied with your entreaty.
You gasp and try to control your breathy moans, but his mouth feels so good on you that your vision is going out and you’re losing touch with reality ever so slightly. You use the last of your brain power to bite down on the back of your wrist, hoping it adequately muffles the noises you make as you come on Spencer’s tongue and he greedily continues lapping at you. There’s really no way of knowing—your ears are ringing anyway.
When you come to a moment later he’s peppering kisses on your thighs, rubbing your hips gently.
"So pretty," he murmurs, climbing back up so your lips can meet again. "Everything about you is pretty."
You paw at his shirt, signaling that you want it off as you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, feel your slippery arousal staining the kiss. Spencer helps you, sitting up briefly to unzip his hoodie and pull off his shirt.
You’re the one to drag him back down, and you notice that he pulls the covers back over the both of you in a sweet gesture he probably didn’t even think about.
"Need you to fuck me," you beg, reaching down to try and undress him further.
"So crude. What happened to my nice, sweet girl?" He mumbles against your neck, but helps you with his pants anyway.
"You must have me confused with someone else."
"Doubtful."
You don’t have much time to consider what that could mean before he’s running the head of his cock over your clit and you’re gasping into his mouth, saying please like it’s the only word you know.
"There she is," Spencer croons, slipping inside you slow enough for you to feel every inch but quick enough for it to expel all the air from your lungs. Once he’s opened you all the way up, impossibly deep and close, you’re seeing stars, barely breathing. His head has dropped to your shoulder but now he drags his lips up your neck and jaw. "We okay?"
It’s been a while, you realize, since that last case in Maine. He always takes some getting used to. Hardly able to think around the pressure of his cock you nod, trying to string together a few words.
"Fuck, I need a second." The words come out choked, but you manage. Spencer rubs your hip, his lips brushing yours as he speaks.
"Relax, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you."
He curses to himself, dropping his head momentarily. You’re so fucking soft, and warm, and perfect, he can’t think straight. But he has to try because he has to take care of you.
"Spence," you gasp, failing to verbally communicate the intensity of the physical sensation.
"I know, baby," comes his sympathetic coo. "You know you can take me. Deep breaths."
"Mhm," you squeak, trying to take follow his directions and soften your muscles. Spencer keeps rubbing soothingly over your hips, stomach, whatever he can get his hands on, really, pressing kisses all over your face and telling you how good you are, how perfect you feel for him. After a few moments he feels you fluttering around him and experimentally pulls out halfway, before pushing back in equally as slowly. Your jaw drops as he begins to leisurely fuck you, arms wrapping around his back. He gets deeper than you expect every time, rubbing you raw and stretching you out in the most delicious way.
"Perfect, baby. Such a good listener, did exactly what I asked."
You cry out when he begins fucking you impossibly deeper, but still so slow and sweet.
"You feel so fucking good for me," he groans. "This is what you were made for, huh?" You agree enthusiastically, eyes fluttering shut.
"Only for you."
Just three words—but he wasn’t expecting to like hearing you say that as much as he does. A strong desire to possess you overtakes him—one that he’ll probably have the decency to feel guilty about later, but for now feels fucking fantastic and intoxicating.
"Only me?"
You moan an affirmation.
"Good. I don’t want anyone else fucking you, do you understand me?"
"Yes!"
"I’m the only one who gets to touch you," he breathes, speeding up ever so slightly, "nobody else is going to feel you like this. Such a good girl, spreading her legs for me at five in the fucking morning. You’re not doing this for anybody else, baby."
"Uh-uh, please, pleasepleaseplease Spence—"
He knows what you need, reaching a hand down between your bodies to rub your clit.
You gasp an airy, high pitched curse, hips twitching but unable to escape the near-punishing rhythm of his own. It’s obvious that your orgasm is close, but you can’t even warn him, too overwhelmed with pleasure. He kisses you, swallowing your moans that have probably become just a bit too loud given the whole hotel thing.
No words are exchanged between the two of you as you near the finish line for a change, open mouths slipping against each others in what is too messy to be called a kiss. Your orgasm body-slams you, a choked silent scream as you tighten around Spencer and he seems to come at nearly the exact same moment—deep inside you, slowly rolling his hips in a few more strong thrusts as he finishes.
You let out a delayed moan at the sensation of being filled up, still pulsing around him as he comes to a halt, buried inside of you. He drops his head to your neck, and you can feel each breath against your flushed skin. Other than the panting, you’re both silent for a while. Spencer seems to gather himself sooner than you do, finally breaking the quiet.
"You okay?"
All you can manage is a little squeak, at which he looses a breathy chuckle. His hand slides to your hip, gently stroking the skin with a thumb.
"Need your words, angel girl."
"I’m okay," you coo into his shoulder, but he has to strain to hear it above his own breathing.
"Yeah? Why so quiet?"
But it seems that at least for the moment, he’s gotten all the words he can out of you. When he tries to move, you whimper indignantly, clutching onto him tighter.
"I really did a number on you this time, huh?" He laughs when you nod into him. "Are you falling asleep?"
"Mhm," you hum dreamily, little puffs of warm air slowing against his neck.
"You can have…" he cranes his head to check the digital clock, "48 minutes."
"An hour."
He settles his weight on you once more, pressing a chaste kiss to your throat. His voice is low and gentle as he admonishes you.
"I said 48 minutes."
But it doesn’t matter—you’re already asleep, or close enough to it. Spencer takes the opportunity to shift you to your side, and the way you wrap around him like a vine even unconsciously makes his heart ache. He really should go now—the earlier he gets out of your room the less likely certain complications will arise—but how can he possibly leave you like this? A vulnerable, dreamy girl with tangled hair haloing around her on the pillow case, clinging to him with blind trust that he’ll watch over her as she sleeps? No—there’s no way he’s leaving yet. Instead, he brings you closer. 48 perfect minutes will go by far too quickly, he’s sure.
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