#gonna still save up or put them on a wishlist but that is such good news

[roszabell]

omfg i need actual court shoes for tennis and Reebok has a 50% discount for students ‼️‼️‼️ ok i might be buying after all

[unforth]

Does Little Mushroom have a sad ending? It was on my wishlist but depending on if the book is sad, I may hold off, or at least be better prepared what to expect.

Very short answer: yes, it has a happy ending. I actually don't read books without knowing ahead of time they have a happy ending. I can't cope. I always look up spoilers before I start, or ask people who've read it, and I don't delve in without that assurance.

Much longer answer (MAJOR SPOILERS AHOY)

(gonna put them behind a read more)

It definitely has a happy ending. I wouldn't even say it has a conditionally happy ending? Like. It's pretty full-on happy. That said, there's still some things I feel should be mentioned:

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

minor character death (many, many minor character deaths)

temporary major character death

harm to children and death of children (none all that graphically, fortunately)

aging/death of the elderly

death and the nature of the universe (like, cosmology) and mankind (idk if this is a trigger for a lot of people but it IS a trigger for me, and the content on this topic came closest to triggering me of everything in the book, so. yes I trigger to cosmology. brains are weird.)

near-extinction of mankind

like just a lot of death, by the time the book ends there are estimated to be 5,000 humans alive in the entire world.

major character injury

attempted non-con

murder for the greater good (or just murder, depending on your view of "the greater good")

graphic violence

graphic body horror (especially people getting transformed into brainless mutant murder machines)

torture

forced breeding/cruelty to women (it's never treated as okay, to be clear, just "this is awful but what's our alternative?")

bug. so many bugs. if you have a problem with bugs, especially giant mutant bugs that try to kill people, avoid this book.

the futility of choice/free will

cancer

Honestly I'm probably forgetting some. It's a dystopian sci-fi setting (about 150 years in the future) where mankind is trying to survive against mutated monsters, and it's uh. very dystopian. To protect the main city one of the main characters literally drops a nuke on the setting for the first part of the story, so it gets pretty grim.

On the other hand.

Both of the main characters are lovable in their own way, and they are both trying their best in a horrible situation. The primary point of view character also isn't human, and he doesn't view human tragedy in a human way, which helps to add a layer of distance between the horrible events and their actual horror.

The main ship end up together, and humanity does end up saved, at least short term. One of the major themes of the book is that nothing is forever, so "short term" has to be good enough. But, it's a very hopeful "short term" with every reason to think it will last for a while.

And, though I was told that I shouldn't get attached to any of the side characters...a few of them actually DO survive.

I loved it. And I say that as someone who relies on happy endings and won't read things that are too upsetting because I just cannot cope. I absolutely loved it.

[obvslybatgrl]

COMIC HAUL !!!!!

Yipeeeee!! Okay so these are from several trips to my comic shop, cons, and shops outside my city. Gonna list where I got everything at the end so if y'all are in Canada 👀. But actually fr support local business!

Ignore my taking photos of them on the carpet floor, my desk is covered with shelves and stuff that needs to be put up still 😭

Anyways

First of all here are most of the comics I picked up at my local comic shop since April. Was really happy to get a hold of all those variants but damn bro Pride month took all my money jahshshshz. I got all these at The Comic Book Shoppe in Ottawa, both locations. I'm probably gonna be pulling comics with them as long as I live here, their staff are definitely the most friendly I've experienced with any comic vendor.

I was in St. John's and was staying right next to the comic book store, it was so hard not to spend all my time there lol. Not pictured above but I also got Paper Girls vol. 1 just forgot to take it off my shelf for the photo 🤡. And Bylines in Blood #2 and 3 are also in the same bag as 1, I'm just waiting to get bag and boards before opening them up. If you guys are ever in Newfoundland, check out Downtown Comics! The building was bought by a new landlord recently so I don't know how that's going to affect the store, but I really hope they're able to renew their lease because that's the only one in the downtown area and it's been there since the 90s.

These are got from several different vendors at Ottawa FanaticCon. Got free admission as a volunteer 😎. As you can tell by now I'm only really looking for Cass, Tim, and Steph 💛💚💜. If you live in the Ottawa area, I 100% recommended heading to this convention if you're a collector. Most of the vendors do not have brick and mortar shops so you'll save of those horrible Canadian shipping fees, and they have a cosplay contest with a cash prize. However I don't recommend heading to this con if it's super out of your way. It is just a local convention so it's a small venue that fit maybe 50 vendors max (?). You're able to go through the entire thing in a few hours. I had fun though. Met an independent comic writer/artist from Montreal, obviously grabbed a lot of good books (that's the second printing of A Death in the Family TP btw. I thought that was cool) and some Pokémon.

TORONTO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Ugh I miss it already, I just came home last night. 7 of those issues I bought off Kijiji, the Robin I found at the CNE, and the Batwoman TP is from The Beguiling but everything else is from the best bookstores in Toronto, BMV Books. Everything in there is gently used or discounted new books (got that LOK art book for 20$! It's usually 50$+ retail here). Was really happy to find so much off my wishlist, AND BTW GOT BATGIRLS #8 VARIANT FOR 2$??!! FOUND CASS BATGIRL RUN TP??!! Love that store so much. If y'all are in Toronto check out all of BMV's locations but specifically the one between Bathurst and Spadina. Third floor is just thousands of comic issues. Most of their stuff is SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper than buying retail and in great condition.

I've spent so much money 🤡

[makeste]

Do you have a Bakudeku (or not only if you have other things in mind) wishlist for the aftermath of the arc? and do you think their relationship will be completely resolved or Hori will stretch it out some more? (bc removing the tension completely (not halfway like DvK2) out of the most prominent relationship before the very end of the series is kind of a bold move, even though DekuvShigaraki could kinda (not literally) "replace" it)

ah but that’s the great thing about rival-type relationships, anon -- there is always going to be a certain amount of tension there on some level. not necessarily in a bad way, but just enough to keep things from ever getting boring. the key thing here is that “rival” isn’t just another word for “person I don’t get along with”; a true rival is supposed to be someone who challenges and pushes you. the thing I love so much about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship is that it has evolved from unhealthy rivalry -- jealous, insecure, and antagonistic -- into true, healthy rivalry, in which is supportive and encouraging. true rivalry is about neither of them allowing the other to rest on their laurels. it’s about both of them pushing themselves to get stronger because they don’t want to let the other down. it’s about that blend of seamless cooperation and having each other’s back while still bantering back and forth like an old married couple. I don’t know about anyone else, but for me that’s hands down my favorite type of relationship in fiction, and I don’t think I could ever get tired of it.

my “wishlist” is already coming together pretty nicely (and I’m happy to say Horikoshi finally checked off a major item as of chapter 285, though I’m still holding out for Bakugou to quote that iconic “you looked like you needed saving” line back at Deku at some point; hey, one can always hope) and has been pretty much since chapter 120 to tell the truth, which is when he really started to resolve the relationship (and it absolutely was a bold move). but here are a few more things I’m keeping my fingers crossed for. I know you specifically said the aftermath of this arc, but I sort of ended up doing a “things I want from now up until the end of the series” thing instead, lol my bad.

anyway, so BakuDekuish Things I Would Like To See:

the reveal that Bakugou’s hero name is tied to Deku.

the two of them having Mutual Angst about whatever the fuck is going to happen with All Might. :/

Bakugou returning the favor Deku paid him way back in chapter 62, once Deku finally has whatever crisis of faith the series seems to be building him up to. if you recall, 62 was the chapter where Bakugou threw a temper tantrum about having to work together with Deku and was all “I’d rather lose,” and Deku LOST HIS SHIT COMPLETELY and clocked him clean in the jaw and was all “I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU’D RATHER LOSE,” and got him to see sense that sometimes you can’t win all on your own and you have to work together in order to accomplish that. to make a long story short, I think the series is building up to a similar moment, except with the roles reversed Because Parallels, and Kacchan helping Deku get his head on straight when it comes to trying to save everyone all by himself.

a threequel fight at Ground Beta. possibly in connection to the above angst, if they are feeling so inclined. or else maybe building up to...

Bakugou apologizing to Deku (and yes he does need to, and yes it is coming; 284 was pretty much confirmation of that. if All Might says they will have their chance to talk then they’ll have their chance to talk, dammit).

Horikoshi revealing what The Deal Is with that Bakuvestige (which I debated including on this list because I know it’s still controversial af lol, but screw it. I want to see a Kacchan vestige giving Deku some Cranky Vestige Advice, and also teaming up with spirit!Deku and the All Might!vestige and the rest to battle AFO at the end of the series. this post goes more in depth as to how I think it might play out).

and last but not least, hand-holding is all well and good, and I know everyone’s kind of (justifiably) obsessed with it right now thanks to volume 29. but I’m gonna go ahead and take it one step further than that, and put it out there into the universe that as far as heartfelt gestures of affection and long-overdue reconciliation go, what I am really craving more than anything else is A HUG. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. DON’T BE BABIES ABOUT THIS, YOU TWO. HUGS ARE MANLY AF, SO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND DO IT ALREADY. no Kacchan, I don’t want to hear about “eww Deku cooties.” yes, Deku will cry. you probably will cry too you big emo, just suck it up and do it already goddammit.

anyway, so there you have it. honestly though, no matter how many of these Horikoshi ultimately decides to indulge me on, I’m pretty sure this will continue to be my favorite relationship in the series. and honestly, I think a large part of that for me is because they started to sort their shit out so early. speaking as someone who was a big Naruto fan back in the day and never got over how poorly Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship was handled, for me Deku and Kacchan’s relationship is sort of an ongoing therapy for that lol. three cheers for rivals who actually talk their shit out with each other, and listen. goddamn.

[yawnjunie]

| genshin characters txt would main

yeonjun: the dodoco haver

idk why, but i feel like he would main klee

it’s bong bong bakudan time when he logs on to carry his members in co-op (maybe just soobin)

his klee build is probably a “work-in-progress” (as he calls it)

he claims doesn’t have a lot of time to spend farming domains, but his klee is already oneshotting mitachurls

his goal is probably to one day one-shot dvalin, or better yet, three-shot azdaha

rng is his best friend

probably plays with a straight face while his on-screen numbers for pyro damage reach 500k... a worthy opponent of taehyun’s

surprisingly still a casual player, doesn’t keep up with upcoming characters

something random he would probably do: pick flowers and stand in the flower field while listening to the claming bgm to get inspiration for his next song

soobin: the low ar player

eula main. he is 100% a claymore user

used to main aether, then accidentally got eula (cryo aristocrat!)

eula came home just like that... on his first ten roll ever

...but he has no idea how builds work. not a clue.

the only reason she has pale flame and noblesse on her is that it fits her outfit

she has the favonius greatsword on her for the same reason

so... who’s gonna tell him? or will he find out that the reason he keeps dying in the ascension quest is that he’s been running defense and hp artifacts on eula all along...

he hopped on the trend later than his members, who told him that he “doesn’t need to worry about builds”

something random he would do: make like 500+ lighter-than-air pancakes and then try to make them irl and vlog it

beomgyu: the madlad

the type to have the most cursed builds

if you think dps barbara is sacrilege, you haven’t seen his builds yet

probably gave bennett thundering fury just to clear abyss, made xingqiu a physical dps, built zhongli on hp, and made ningguang a healer

as for who he mains, it’s probably the geo archon

yeah he has like 50k hp, but somehow still does 100k on average for his ult

breaks into a laughing fit every time taehyun calls him out for his weird builds

will throw hands if anyone tries to touch his builds

the most threatening thing he’s heard was taehyun saying “next time, i’ll go on your account to put mappa mare on ningguang and give her archaic petra” (he has prototype amber and a full maidens set on her)

all in good humor ofc  ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

something random he would do: confuse everyone in co-op when barbara deals physical damage and lisa heals

taehyun: baron bunny expert

the true gamer

he’s an amber main, and has like 3 of her constellations

amber’s charged shots probably deal like 30k per hit, and he probably goes into abyss with her AND manages to clear it every time with 9 stars

he also probably built childe as a burst “support”

flexed on everyone during the windblume festival balloon minigame

“not everyone has perfect aim"

the real build expert (probably watches tony to) who’s annoyed, but also lowkey impressed by beomgyu’s cursed builds

likely has 100+ ways to kill timmie’s birds

has all the starter characters built and maxed out

something random he would do: watch soobin struggle with the ascension quest for an hour straight before pointing out that he has terrible builds

hueningkai: the dodoco wanter

mains the only gun owner in the game: the prinzessin der verurteilung, fischl

he’s at friendship level 10 with her, and probably knows all her crazy long voicelines by heart

he would be a klee main (who doesn’t love the sparkle knight and her dodoco? the dodoco plush is probably on his bday wishlist, too)

...only if rng didn’t hate his guts

and unfortunately, rng does have favorites

losing your 50/50 and getting qiqi instead happens to the best of us

when that happened to him, at least yeonjun was there to comfort him: “that’s rough buddy. i’m sure she’ll have a rerun in the future.”

the good news is, sayu’s coming up! he’s probably saving his primogems for the cutest claymore healer <3

something random he would do: spend time creating a really expansive serenitea pot; it’s filled with animals of all kinds, and he has cute decorations everywhere

a/n: idk i just felt like i needed to write this,,, sorry if you don’t play genshin hgahsgha 

[puckinghell]

11:11 | Carter Hart

Summary: Hockey players are a little superstitious, so wishing on shooting stars, rainbows and dropped penny’s isn’t a rare occurrence. Normally, they’re wishing for things like wins and awards and cups, but Carter has a little something else on his wishlist.  Words: 2,5k Note: based on the song 11:11 by Jae Jin which is the cutest songs I’ve ever heard. Note 2.0: This has been sitting in my concepts for over a year cause I just don’t love it but I like it too much to throw it away, so I finally decided to just post it and be done with it. Hope you guys like it anyway!

---

It’s a well known fact that hockey players are superstitious. 

It’s a better known fact that hockey goalies are stupidly superstitious. 

So far, Carter has been trying to break the stigma, and he’s pretty damn good at it, thank you very much. He doesn’t care if he puts on his left or right skate first, he doesn’t have to turn the shower on and off twice, there’s no pregame meal better than others. Winning games depends on how well he’s playing, not on setting his alarm at 4:32 when he takes his pregame nap.

Carter isn’t superstitious, but he is a little stitious - and he’s watched The Office way too many times, clearly. There’s just one thing he can be superstitious about. Only one thing. 

You.

---

You’ve been sitting on your porch, sketchbook in hand, drawing your neighbor’s dog. He’s big and black and at 11 years old, you’re not really sure if you’re supposed to be scared of him. He looks a bit scary, but he’s never done anything bad, and your parents don’t seem to mind him.

It’s hot outside. Too hot, really, to be outside your air conditioned living room, but your brothers are yelling inside and you just wanted some peace and quiet.

Some peace and quiet, and to stare at the boy next door. 

He’s a little older than you, a lot taller too, and he’s always intimidated you a bit. Sometimes he hangs out with your brothers, who are older too, but today he’s with some boys from around the neighborhood. 

They’re playing street hockey, like they usually are. You like watching them play; it’s such a fun game to watch, and you really wish you could try it, see if it’s fun to play too.

But your brothers always tell you to go away, and you’ve not had the guts to ask Carter. That’s the boy next door’s name; you heard it one time when his mom called him in for dinner. 

You’re focused on where the dog’s ears meet his head - on your paper it doesn’t quite look right - when something goes flying past your head.

“Duck!” you hear someone yell, but you’d already ducked in reflex. A plastic ball comes zooming past your ear, hits the wall behind you and bounces back; it rolls past your feet and ends up in front of somebody else’s.

“Are you okay?” the same voice asks, a little worried, and when you look up it’s Carter staring at you with wide eyes. “Did he hit you?” 

It takes a while for his words to synch into your brain, but then you shake your head. “No, he didn’t.”

Carter smiles, at that. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I’ve told Alex his aim is so bad he shouldn’t be allowed to play in public, but he didn’t believe me.” 

The other guy, Alex you presume, comes running over, his hockey stick still in his hands. “Shit, sorry,” he says, and you’re pretty sure you’re not allowed to say that word but you don’t mention it. 

“It’s okay,” you say instead. “You didn’t hit me.” 

“Maybe keep an eye on the clock,” says Carter to his friend. “If it’s 11:11, you can wish to actually hit the target, some time.” 

“If you catch 11:11 you can wish to actually make a save,” Alex shoots back.

“If I caught 11:11 I would wish for you to shut up,” Carter snaps back and that’s when you giggle.

Instantly, both the boys turn to you. Carter is grinning at you, a wide and happy grin that makes it impossible for you not to grin back. “What would you wish for, if you caught 11:11?” he asks.

You know the answer; it’s right there on the tip of your tongue and it tumbles out with thinking, words filled with earnest honesty like only those of a kid can be.

“I would wish that I could play hockey.” 

The boy in front of you smiles, yanks the hockey stick out of his friend’s hands and extends it in your direction.

“Come play,” he says. “It’s not like you could be any worse than Alex, anyway.” 

And under loud protest of Alex, a new friendship is born. 

---

Your 16th birthday party is crazy exactly the way 16th birthday parties are supposed to be, with beers snuck into the kitchen as your parents go away for the night, telling you again and again that you can always call them if you need them, even if you think they’ll be mad.

There’s loud music everywhere, and people; you don’t even know half of them, but your brothers promised you they’d make it a party to remember and they’ve kept their promise.

The thing is, well, you’re not the biggest fan of parties, actually. You thought it would be cool, would be like in the movies and you’d feel all grown up and cool, but instead you feel a bit lost, with the noise of the people too loud and their drunken dancing having you worried about your parents furniture.

You also found out you really don’t like beer. 

You get a Pepsi from the fridge, where some friend of your brother’s is mixing some of your dad’s rum into a bottle of Sprite - it doesn’t seem like a good match, but then again, you’ve never tasted rum - while your brother is eating cheese straight from the packet. 

It’s all a bit too much, too sudden, and you find yourself yearning for some peace and quiet, some familiarity.

You make your way to the back yard; it’s quiet, there, the October air a little too cold for your guests, and you sit down on the porch, wrapping your arms around your knees.

The music booms through the walls and you can still hear people screaming, but it sounds more muffled, and it allows you to breathe.

Almost immediately after you sit down, you hear the creak of the backdoor and footsteps against the wood of the porch, and then a familiar body sits next to you, smelling like foresty cologne and floral laundry detergent. 

“Hey,” Carter says softly, smiling at you when you gaze up at him. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, just needed some quiet.” You take a deep breath. “It’s a bit too much, I guess.” 

Carter is your best friend; has been, for years, and you would trust him with literally anything, so you don’t hesitate, telling him the truth. You don’t think there’s anything you’ve not told him the truth on.

Except when he asked you why you never said yes to the boys asking you out on dates.

First, you’d tried to dodge, told him you never got asked, but that didn’t work because James had asked and you’d shot him down, and James was on the hockey team with Carter so obviously Carter had found out.

When he confronted you with that, you just shrugged. 

“Just not into it, Cart.” 

Because they’re not you. I would say yes if it was you. But those are words only meant for your own ears, words your heart utters into the silent void because there’s no way your brain would even let you say them out loud, not when it could ruin the best friendship you have. 

“You know,” Carter says now, “maybe we see a shooting star. Then you could still make your birthday wish.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “What are you on about?” 

He laughs, lightly. “I saw you when you blew out your candles, on the cake, earlier. You were super quick with it, there’s no way you made a wish.” 

It earns him an eye roll, from you. 

“Maybe I didn’t wanna make a wish. Maybe there’s nothing I wish for.�� 

“Everyone has something they wish for,” says Carter wisely. He bumps your shoulder and then frowns, suddenly. “Fuck, Y/N, you’re freezing.” 

You put your hands on your own arms, wrap your arms around yourself, to feel that indeed your skin is cold and there’s goosebumps on your arms. Before you can comment on it, Carter has taken off his hoodie and is tugging it - not so carefully - over your head.

“Auw,” you whine, “you’re pulling my hair.” 

He immediately stops, then very slowly pulls the fabric down the rest of the way. It’s worse, that way, makes it feel more intimidate than it is. 

“Well,” you say finally, “there’s no shooting stars, so I guess no wish for me, this year.” 

Carter sighs, sounding defeated, then glances at his watch and his whole face lights up. 

“It’s 11:10! You can make a wish at 11:11!”

You can’t help but giggle at his excitement. “Cart, that doesn’t even have anything to do with my birthday.” 

“No,” says Carter, talking slow, as if he’s explaining something to a toddler. “They’re more special. Everyone gets a birthday wish, because everyone has a birthday. Not everyone catches the 11:11, though. That’s the universe telling you it’s your turn for a little bit of luck.” 

It’s dumb, and you don’t believe it, but he says it so adorably convinced, that when he motions at his watch that it’s time, you close your eyes and make a wish.

It’s fine if the wish will never come true. As long as it makes the tall, slender boy next to you happy, the way he does you. 

---

Carter’s first year as a Flyer is stressful.

You get to watch it from up close cause you followed him to Philly; there was never really an option not to. You know, after years of searching for something else, someone else that makes you feel the way he does, that it’s a lost cause.

It’s him, for you. It’s always been him. 

You’re driving to his apartment, the night of what you knew has been a hard game. They lost, again. You know Carter will - wrongfully - blame himself, again. You know you’re gonna do whatever it takes to pick up the pieces, again, and probably fail, again. 

Maybe Carter’s stupid goalie superstition has rubbed off on you, but when you drive through a tunnel, you hold your breath until the end of it.

Let him be okay.

His front door creaks as you open it; he gave you a key as soon as he moved in, and you’ve been using it ever since. You don’t even think you know what his doorbell sounds like.

“Carter?” you call out. You know he’s not asleep; he never sleeps well, after losses. It takes him ages, tossing and turning in his sheets until he just gives up and sits on the balcony, staring at the stars.

He says it calms him down.

You’re pretty sure you know where to find him.

“Cart?” you mutter, opening the balcony door carefully, and indeed, there’s a human figure slumped over the railing, head down, hands tucked into the sleeves of his hoodie. At your voice, he looks up, and you’re struck with how tired he looks. 

Dark circles surround his bright eyes, which seem to light up the dark night as much as the city lights below you.

You go stand next to him, close enough for your shoulders to touch; warmth is still radiating off him, his cheeks are flushed. 

“I don’t get what you’re looking at, here,” you tell him, giving him time to decide whether or not he wants to talk about the game. You know he doesn’t do well when you push him. “You can’t even see the stars. The city lights are way too bright.” You crinkle your nose in disgust. “The stars were so much more beautiful back home.” 

“Do you miss home?” Carter asks.

You shrug. “Sometimes. Some things. You?” 

“I miss my family.” Carter pauses. “Not home, so much. I thought I would, but, the one part I thought I’d miss the most...” Another pause, then a tentative smile. “Well, she followed me here.” 

Your heart flutters at that and you have to remind yourself that he’s just in a mushy mood, probably trying to hide his emotions about the game. 

But you still wanna let him know you appreciate it, and you feel the same, so you lean closer, letting your head drop to his shoulder. Right away, his head is resting on top of yours.

“Can you wish on city lights?” you ask, just to fill the quiet night, and he chuckles.

“Probably not, but I don’t think I’ll need the stars to wish on. I make wishes when I hold my breath in tunnels, when I throw pennies in wells, when I blow out candles...” 

“There’s no wells around here,” you interrupt, and you feel Carter’s shoulders shake with muted laughter. It’s so much better than the sad expression he wore when you got here, and you feel the brick that’s settled in the pit of your stomach since you saw the score, slightly dissipate. 

“I think it’s probably around 11,” says Carter, then. “If we catch it, we can make another wish.” 

You know what you would wish for; the same thing you’ve been wishing for for 8 years. You also know you might as well be wishing for the sky to turn purple, so you’re not really too worried about catching 11:11.

“What do you wish for, anyway?” you ask him. He turns slightly, so he’s facing you now, and incredulous look on his face.

“You really don’t know?” he says. “It’s the same thing, every time.” 

“How would I know?” you huff. “You’ve never told me.” 

“Guess.” 

You don’t see the fun in this game but you’d do anything to see him smile, anything to keep his mind off the game, so you humor him.

“Stanley Cup.” 

“No.” 

“Vezina?” 

“Nope.” 

“World peace.” Carter seems like that guy.

“No, but I would, if I thought it was possible.” 

“A puppy.” 

He laughs. “No, but I should.” 

“I don’t know, Cart,” you tell him, smiling now. You expect him to say something silly, but a serious expression crosses his face, and then his hands come down and grab hold of your hips. He takes a step closer and your breath hitches in your throat.

“What...” are you doing, you start, but he interrupts you.

“When I wish on 11:11, I’m wishing for you.” 

His lips touch yours before you’ve processed the words, but as soon as you realize what’s happening, you hook your arms behind his neck, push up on your tiptoes to kiss him deeper. 

You try to put everything you have into that kiss; try to tell him, wordlessly, that you wanna grow old together, wanna be his person, want him to stay with you even when you’re scared, that you think he’s beautiful and magical and everything you could ever wish for. 

That every time you wish on shooting stars and ticking clocks, you’re wishing for him too.

“I think we might’ve missed 11:11,” is the first thing you say when you finally pull apart, breathing a little heavily, Carter’s cheeks tinted a little pink.

He breathes out a chuckle, rests his forehead against yours.

“That’s okay,” he says. 

“I’ve got all I’d wish for right here.” 

[curioussubjects]

So I did a season 15 rewatch and wanted to do a thought experiment

I know I often mention that the meta the corner of fandom I’m in has multiple points of entry, but I don’t think I ever just dumped plain text as a thought experiment before. Obviously, the parts of the text I decided to dump here are picked through a specific meta lens as well as being only a facet of the SPN text itself, since I only have the words and none of the complex visual language the show employs from set dressing to editing to acting -- and that’s a ton of info I’m omitting, I know, but generally speaking all text gets reduced to the writing even in the mytharc of the show itself, so it feels appropriate to use words on a page to do this. That said, this is just a start, and any analysis of SPN needs to take into account the full scope of the text beyond the words (with the one exception of a soundtrack pick in 15.10 because it’s too good to pass up).

Anyway, I started writing this as a simple “here look at this selection of very cursed quotations let’s cry” sort of self-indulgent thing, but then I thought, well, what if we could all take a pause from fandom stuff and finale anxiety in order to sit a little with one of the textual building block? What if we could even put a pin, for just a second, to the greater nuances and more involved abstraction about the text and think in bare bone terms? 

Of course, I have a reading here, but through the quotations I picked notice the repetition of themes, of words themselves. What is there? What is it telling us? Regardless of our personal wants and wishlists, whatever our feelings about what is and what should or shouldn’t be. And if we pluck these words and put them back in their context, what is the story trying to tell us? On its face, without any editorializing about what we think could happen maybe because we’ve all been burned by tv shows before. Or even do we really think the text seems so clumsy and lost and incompetent as some seem to think it is? 

Again, this collection is just on facet of the text. Think of it as a spring board, rock number 1. 

15.01

We were just rats in a maze. Sure, we could go left. Sure, we could go right. But we were still in the damn maze. Just makes you think, if all of it... you know, everything that we've done... What did it even mean?

It meant a lot. We still saved people.

When we win this, God's gone. Hm. There's no one to screw with us. There's no more maze. It's just us. And we're free.

We got work to do.

15.02

Chuck is all-knowing. He knew the truth, he... he just kept it to himself.

Even if we didn't know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck's machinations, how would we describe it all? We'd call it "life". Because that's precisely what life is. It's an obstacle course, and maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own moves.

I'll tell you what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we've lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck.

You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.

I'm done, Chuck. I've changed. I've adapted. I've... I've become the better me. And you? You are still the same... petulant, narcissistic. So... I'm leaving you here.

15.03

No, we’re gonna end this, Sam. Like you said. We’re gonna be free.

And I'm here, and you're here, and everything we need to end this right is in our hands.

But will you let the world die, let your brother die, just so I can live?

I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it.  

Jack's dead. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it's time for me to move on.

15.04

Wow. So you’re still, um… [...]  Uh, obsessed with my work.

You mean my work.

So instead of reading your stories, I kept writing my own. [...]  Where the guys didn’t have to hunt monsters all the time. They just sit around and do laundry and talk, you know? I mean, that’s what people like the most, anyway.

… this is just an ending.

I can do anything. I’m a writer.

We are finally free to… move on, you know?

I don’t know. Uh… I-I don’t know if I can move on. You know, I-I-I… I can’t forget about any of them. Dean, I still think about Jessica. I… I can’t just let that go.

15.06

Yeah. If I stay, nothing changes. It's time for me to get back in the game.

15.07

What would I do without you? Hmm? What would I do without my best friend?!

Angela was raptured, and I was left behind.

but... but best friends don't just up and leave without saying goodbye.

Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

Then you fix it. You don't walk away. You fight for it.

15.08

No one hands you anything, darlin'. I took it.

Then one day, you die, you go to hell, they make you queen, and you can't make it right. So fix it!

Doing what we do, we've had to get used to losing people. Probably too used to it. With Adam, we said goodbye because we thought we had to. We were wrong.

Since when do we get what we deserve?

15.09

You just refused to hear it.

Maybe if you didn't just up and leave us.

I left, but you didn't stop me.

No, the Dean I know... the Dean who raised me -- he'd never give up, no matter how bad things got.

Well, he does. He will. This is the truth, Sam. This is what comes next. 

I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go.

Okay, Cas, I need to say something.

You don't have to say it. I heard your prayer.

When we beat you, I will make it better!

But there's still so much about the fabric of the universe that you don't know... that you can't know. 'Cause you're only humans. But I'm God.

I wish you'd stay.

I wish I could. After what happened, I don't know what's real anymore.

I know that was real.

If we can't kill him or trap him...

... Well, then we find another way.

15.10

You know, go out young and pretty. But now I've got a great wife, great kids. I guess...sometimes things work out.

Yeah, sometimes. Good, man. You deserve it.

~Let's be outrageous  /  Let's misbehave~  

You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.

15.11

Beach read? Lady, I’m Tolstoy.

God created the world, but you know who created us gods? You did. You humans. Sort of.

How dare you not recognize his beneficence?

Our bad. Not his

I learned from my brother.

What is with you and these losers? They’re nothing! They don’t matter.

They matter to us.

Heroes. Like the old days. And, uh, she gave me a message. She said, “Don’t play his game. Make him play yours.”

Every day I wanted to come home, but… I couldn’t.

Billie kept him hidden in the Empty until Chuck went off world.

15.12

In the beginning, it was just me and sis. And it was fine. But I wasn’t satisfied. So I made more. I created the world.

So, I… I kept creating. I made… other worlds.

Those other toys, they don’t… they don’t… spark joy. But Sam and Dean… the real Sam and Dean… they do. They challenge me… they disappoint me… they surprise me. 

They’re… the ones.

You know, Kelly just had faith that Jack would be good for the world, and I felt it, too. I knew it. And then, when everything went wrong, and God took him from us… I was lost in a way I’ve never been before. Because I knew the story wasn’t over. I knew Jack wasn’t done. And I was right.

What sounds good to me is Jack fulfilling his destiny.

I thought I could leave her behind, but… she haunts me.

Her world looked peaceful. This place is… cold. I don’t understand it. I don’t know how to move through it. So, I just find empty spaces, and I hide. This world doesn’t want me. And I’m done with it.

We can fix this. You can help us. Please? Please.

Feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the, uh… dumb, right thing? Feels like we’re back.

I don’t belong in your world. You do. Go.

When I was a reaper, I believed in the rules. But then you killed me. And when I became Death, I inherited Death’s knowledge… and Death’s library. And in Death’s library, everyone has a book. Even God.

After God made the world, he couldn’t stop. He wanted more. But he needed to create a perfect harmony… a Swiss watch, so this world could keep tick, tick, ticking in his absence. He had no choice but to build himself into the framework. It’s his only weakness.

You and your brother have work to do. This is your destiny. You are the messengers of God’s destruction. 

15.13

Then there's no God, there's no Darkness. Nothing out of balance. World saved.

Okay, yeah, but then who takes over? Uh, Jack?

Probably not.

I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me.

So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

A place... a thing... Whatever you want to call it, it's powerful.

Why do they call this place the Empty? This place is full. It's full of sorrow and despair playing over and over again, of angels and demons dreaming about their regrets. Forever.

Funny thing about her plan, though... she didn't say anything about needing you.

Maybe it's a key. It's a passage in Enochian. It says, um, loosely translated, "In order to be in the Occultum, the Occultum must be in you."

This is the Garden. Man's beginning.

His prize creations, until he banished them and all of mankind from the perfection of the Garden. And he hid it away.

Who are you, really? Who are you meant to be?

That's the crossroads of divinity and humanity.

Please. Just please forgive me.

[completemalum]

"Yes, Sir."

Genre: Smut

Rating: 18+

Content: boyxboy, boys in panties, camboy, mutual masturbation, slight Daddy kink

Michael enjoyed his job as a camboy. He was damn good at it, too. He'd managed to save up enough money to buy a pretty nice apartment outside of LA with all the money he'd earned. He also had quite a collection of sex toys that he'd gotten as gifts from his clients. Most of them were gifts from a man named Calum. Calum was one of his regular clients who bought pretty much anything Michael put out. Bought all of his porn videos, bought him any sex toys he put on his wishlist, always tipped him generously every time he went on cam. Michael never talked to Calum, other than thanking him for his generosity, and he never saw his face. Considering how rich the guy was, Michael assumed he was in his 40s. Which he was okay with. Old men were always the horniest and gave the best tips. Michael was very excited, though, because he just put up a new service: one hour Skype session for $100. And as expected, Calum was one of the first people to buy the service. Michael messaged Calum to thank him for purchasing the service and to schedule a good date for their Skype session. He also asked Calum what he wanted Michael to wear. All he said was to wear something pretty.

Minutes before their Skype session, and Michael was ready and excited. He was wearing a long button down shirt that covered his ass, but underneath he was wearing pale pink panties that clipped onto matching thigh highs. He was also wearing pink eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick just to look and feel extra pretty. He was also wearing a pretty buttplug, just to be ready in case they were to do something sexual that required something up his ass. The time arrived, and a dark-skinned man with a shaved head, tattoos, and biceps popped up onto Michael's computer screen.

Holy fuck, this guy was hot. But also...very young looking. He looked like he was about Michael's age, which Michael did not expect from one of his regulars. Michael finally remembered that he had to stop staring and breathed out "Hi, Sir."

Calum chuckled "Hi there, kitten. It's good to finally meet you face to face."

Michael giggled and blushed at the pet name "Um, how old are you? Sorry for being abrupt, I just...did not expect you to look so young."

Calum smiled in understanding "I turned 24 in January."

Wow. He wasn't Michael's age. He was actually younger than Michael. By only a few months, but still.

"How is a 24 year old able to afford literally everything that you buy for me???"

"My dad was the president of a large Australian company and I inherited the company when he passed away last year."

"I'm originally from Australia and your accent sounds as non-existent as mine. Where do you live? Sorry if that's invasive..." Michael blushed, realizing his lack of a filter.

Calum laughed, which Michael felt himself falling for. "I have a home in Sydney, London, New York, and LA. I spend most of my time in LA."

So not only was this guy hot and the same age as Michael, he also lived near Michael. If he didn't believe in fate before, he sure as hell did now.

"Wow. That's crazy. You live not too far from me." Michael said, thinking out loud. "Um. Right. Skype call. You didn't pay to get drilled with questions." Calum chuckled. "What would you like to do? Your wish is my command."

"Show me what you're wearing first, kitten." Calum said. Michael bit his lip before standing up and lifting up his long button down to show off the lingerie underneath. "Fuck..." Calum groaned, tilting his head back. Michael saw his hand moving below the screen.

Michael rubbed his hand over his bulge "Can...you show me your dick? Please?" He blushed as he realized he was basically begging for this dude's dick. Calum stood up so his dick was in frame.

His dick was huge.

Michael realized he was drooling, wishing he was able to put Calum's dick in his mouth and pouted knowing that he couldn't. "Um...what do you want me to call you?"

"Well, it's too early in our relationship for me to be Daddy." Calum said with a chuckle. "Sir is fine."

"Yes, sir."

"I wanna cum with you, Michael." Michael bit his lip and nodded. He stood up and teasingly unbuttoned his shirt and let it slide off his arms before slipping off his panties. "You're so fucking sexy, kitten." Michael swore he saw Calum's eyes darken with lust and he blushed hard

"Thank you, Sir. Um, I have a surprise for you. I wanted to be ready." Michael lowered the angle of his computer and turned around to show off his ass and the pretty plug in it.

"You're gonna make me cum before we actually doing anything, Michael." Calum moaned softly. Michael giggled before slowly pulling the plug out, moaning as it came out with a pop. He grabbed one of his cheeks, his asshole winking and gaping at Calum, pulling another groan from him. He angled his camera down so Michael could see him stroking himself. Michael moaned softly before grabbing a dildo and putting it in his mouth and sucking on it to get it nice and wet.

"Wish this was your cock instead of a dildo, Sir." Michael moaned as he pulled it out of his mouth, a string of drool following. Calum moaned at Michael's words. Michael adjusted in his chair before slowly pushing the dildo into his ass, a moan ripping from his throat "Oh, fuck..." He whimpered as he started moving the dildo in and out.

Calum started pumping his cock more. "Fuck baby..." Michael moaned loudly as the dildo hit his prostate

"R-right there...fuck..." He pumped the dildo against the spot, his room filled with the sounds of him whimpering and cursing "I'm gonna cum, Sir..." He whined.

Calum leaned back in his chair "You first..." He breathed out.

Michael nodded and whimpered "Fuck..." He moaned loudly and arched his back as he came onto his chair "Sir..." Calum threw his head back and moaned loudly as he came on his hand and stomach. The men sat there for a second, panting, before smiling softly at each other.

"Thanks for the Skype session, kitten." Calum said with a smirk.

Michael giggled "Anytime. Can't wait to see you again, Sir."

[norahastuff]

Hello. What are your thoughts about S12 of SPN? Did you like what the show did for Destiel and what about Mary's arc? i'd love to hear your thoughts!

Oh anon, so many thoughts - be careful what you ask for!

Season 12 is one of my favourite seasons of the show, mostly because of the in depth focus of the characters’ emotional states - especially Cas and Mary. I mean sure you could say the Men of Letters weren’t exactly formidable villains,  but I think that was kind of the point. Like Sam snarks at Lady Toni Bevell when she tries to threaten him with torture, he’s been tortured by the devil himself - what was she going to do to him?  After dealing with many seasons of escalating threats that culminated in them confronting God and Amara, they couldn’t exactly raise the stakes any higher plotwise, so they went lower. 

They created this human threat and instead put the focus on what the characters were going through. This gets kind of long, so I’ll break it down into 3 parts. I’ll talk about Cas and his story in this answer, and then I’ll make another couple of posts about Mary and then Dean and Cas. 

1. Cas and his state of mind

2. Mary

3. Dean and Cas

1. Cas

After everything that went on during s11 with Cas and Lucifer and God, I did kind of think that the show might forget about what it was that led to Cas saying yes to Lucifer in the first place. I needn’t have worried. Dabb’s always been interested in exploring Cas’ mental state, going all the way back to 8x08 when Dean and Cas talked about the effect the whole Godstiel/Leviathan mess had on Cas. 

“I’m afraid I might kill myself.”

 It was jarring because it was the most direct Cas had ever gotten about his depression. He’d talked about it before but never quite so matter of factly. Dabb also wrote the episode in which Cas said yes to Lucifer, a decision he came to after feeling worthless and unneeded by everyone and everything. Ambriel told him the how little the angels thought of him. In the past that may have been because he was a traitor and a rebel. They may have hated him but they feared him, even felt a twisted kind of reverence towards him. Not anymore. Now what did they think of him?

Castiel: I never wanted this, you know. To be hated by my own kind, I never…

Ambriel: Oh no, I don’t hate you, Castiel.

Castiel: Thank you.

Ambriel: I mean, we have a lot in common. Our names rhyme, that’s a big one. I look good in a trench coat too, and we’re both expendable.

Castiel: Excuse me?

Ambriel: Well, that’s why we’re here, right? I’m a number cruncher and you… like I said, I’ve heard the stories. You help. But Sam and Dean Winchester are the real heroes. So, if the Darkness is still alive and she’s pissed… and she kills us… no big loss. So sure, maybe we’re not super important, but we do the job. You know… I think there’s nobility in that.

He wasn’t The Great Castiel anymore. He was the Winchesters’ sidekick. The angel who turned his back on them and gave up an army for Dean Winchester. I think sometimes we underestimate how bad the events of 9x22 were for the angels perception of Cas. Dean broke the rules, rules Cas had put into place, and yet Cas refused to hold him accountable for that. Instead Cas fell at his feet, at least in their eyes.

I mean he was resigned to dying when Amara caught him….and yet what does she tell him? “Blue eyes, you’re not even worth the effort” “You look a bit used up.” He wasn’t even worthy of being killed by the big bad anymore. Instead she used his body to send a message to the adversaries she actually cared about. That’s all he was good for. 

Ok sorry I spent a lot of time talking about season 11 but that’s because Cas’ story in s12 is a continuation of the same things he was dealing with in s11. His desperate search for a purpose. His fears that he could never do anything right, that he was worthless: unloved and unwanted. As soon as he helped get Sam back, he got up and left again. Sure, part of that was because he needed to go find Lucifer, but like Sam and Dean tell him, he didn’t have to do that alone. 

I think it’s telling that his decision to leave comes on the heels of his late night conversation with Mary where he confesses that he still doesn’t feel like he belongs with them. So he leaves, and tries to make himself useful and Cas being Cas, he decides to do that as Agent Beyonce which results in an absolutely glorious partnership with Crowley. Honestly, as much as Cas hated Crowley, I think their little adventure was good for him - at least for a little while. I mean it gave Cas an excuse to feel superior (something he wasn’t getting a lot of at that point) and to show contempt towards someone - something he is so very good at: see also Ketch, Sergei.

But it’s easy to see how precarious Cas’ sense of self worth was. The second something goes wrong, in this case when Sam and Dean get arrested and he can’t find them, he completely falls apart. He internalises what Ambriel and Amara said to him about how useless he was, and that coupled with his own crippling insecurities, as well as Mary lashing out and blaming him for letting them get taken (she didn’t mean it really, she was more angry at herself than anything) he convinces himself that they were all right. He is worthless and he can’t do anything right. Cas didn’t fail to stop the vampire he tried to hunt down because he lacked the skills, or because he needed Sam and Dean. No, it was because he was so convinced that he was worthless and useless, it became a self fulfilling prophecy. 

The look of relief, the crack of his voice when he hears Dean on the phone after he’d essentially given up hope. The look on his face when he finds Sam and Dean, a look that stops them in their tracks, not to mention the wordless exchange in the backseat of the car after Cas meets Dean’s eyes and realises that something’s not quite right. Try then to tell me that Ambriel’s words (or at least the same sentiments) are not running through his head when he learns that one of the Winchesters will have to sacrifice themselves.

Sam and Dean Winchester are the real heroes.

You’re expendable.

If she kills you, it’s no big loss. 

It’s not much of a surprise that he makes the decision he makes. 

I also find Ishim’s conversations with Cas very interesting. I’ll talk about that some more in the Dean and Cas post, but in particular this exchange:

I used to envy you, Castiel. You believe that? You survived Hell. You were chosen by God. But now look at you. You’re just sad and pathetically weak. So now… I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own -by cutting it out. 

Once again this is confirmation of what the angels think of him. He’s not a figure to be feared anymore, rather an object of pity. Unsurprisingly, they all blame Dean for that. They see Cas’ love and devotion for Dean as his weakness. From the very beginning Cas has been told that getting close to Dean would lead to his downfall. Heaven, hell and everyone in between warned him, over and over again. 

Interestingly Cas sees it differently. He agrees that he’s weak and powerless but he doesn’t blame his love for Sam and Dean for that. So much so that on his deathbed, he even thanks them for changing his life, for changing him. 

But he survives. Crowley (much to Cas’ chagrin I’m sure) saved his life. And ultimately nothing has changed. He still needs to feel useful, he’s still desperate to find any sense of purpose - and so he finds one. Eliminate the Nephilim. Not only is that a clear instruction, a plan he can carry out, but if he manages to do that, he’ll also be preventing Sam and Dean from having to do something truly unsavoury. That checks all the boxes on Cas’ wishlist.

But Cas is missing something. He’s not seeing how much Dean is struggling with him gone, and how desperate he is for Cas to come back. He just wants a win, and unfortunately, he’s looking for it in all the wrong places. He doesn’t have a clear idea of his importance and role in the Winchesters’ lives, Dean’s in particular. When he steals the Colt and tries to face Dagon alone, he tells them he was trying to protect them, only for Dean to hit back with “You’re not our babysitter Cas” and from Cas’ face, you can see he clearly doesn’t agree. He once admitted he saw himself as the Winchesters’ guardian, and part of him still feels that that’s the only role he can play in their family - even though that’s not at all how Sam and Dean feel about him anymore.

Cas is lost. Completely and utterly unsure of his place in the world. Kelly takes the wheel and he could stop her if he wanted to - but what else would he do? It’s easier to just follow someone else’s plan, no matter how nebulous and uncertain it may be. 

And then something happens. The Nephilim’s power flows through him and Cas feels strong. He feels focused and like he has a purpose again. A part to play in making the world better. He has something he hasn’t had in a very long time - he has faith. But you see the problem still hasn’t been solved, he may have faith now, but he still doesn’t have any faith in himself. He doesn’t see his value outside of being a tool, an instrument, existing only to be of service to the bigger players. 

I think season 12 did a really great job in highlighting the dichotomy in Cas’ motivations that we’ve been seeing for a while now. He wants to be of service, he needs a purpose to feel like he has a place in this world, but it’s not a desire that’s based on unfeeling duty anymore. 

Cas feels things so very strongly and yet he’s still acutely aware that he’s not human - something season 14 (particularly 14x14) spent time exploring. Season 15 too actually. He wants to belong. He wants to be wanted, to be loved. He wants a home.

And yet…he also knows (or thinks he knows) what it is he actually has to do. Remember s9 and the extended focus on “I did what I had to do.” When Dean asked Cas back then if he was ok with giving up his human life to become an angel again, Cas’ response was essentially that it didn’t matter - he did what he had to do. 

Cas wants to feel loved, valued, cherished but yet he also thinks his role in this last big fight against God is to sacrifice himself so that the chosen players, namely Sam, Dean, Jack can have a better chance. Not only is this a consistent trait in Cas that we can follow all the way back, but I’m just so in awe that they actually spent so much time in s12 actually exploring Cas’ state of mind and what drives him to feel this way. It’s just very narratively satisfying.

Ok yeah this is long so I’ll post the other parts in separate posts soon, because there’s a lot to say in those too.

[tangled-the-series-forever]

Rapunzel and the Lost Lagoon

As soon as I heard about this book, I put it on my birthday wishlist. But alas, my birthday had come and gone. No Lost Lagoon. Apparently my mom didn’t see it on the wishlist, so that’s why. Flash forward to Christmas Day and I held the book in my hands, which were trembling with excitement. Not really, but you get the idea. I had been waiting to devour this book for months on end and I did. So without further ado, I will present to you this handy-dandy post that encapsulates my thoughts on Lost Lagoon before, during, and after reading. I thought it would be fun to record my expectations and compare them to what I discovered. If you’ve read Lost Lagoon, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️

Before Reading

honestly, I’m not quite sure what to expect. All I know is that there’s a lot of moments between Raps and Cass and I am ready for them!

maybe it explains how Cass came to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting? (I hope so because I’ve always wondered this...)

I think I’ll like the book as a whole (I’m hoping I’ll love it)

I’m guessing that it is cute, funny, serious, and adventurous all in one

maybe we’ll learn more about Cass?

will Raps tell Cass about her life in the tower?

what will be the ratio of lighthearted to serious moments? Am I more likely to laugh or cry? Probably both 😅😂😂

this book’s design is absolutely gorgeous! 😍😍😍 I literally just stared at it for a while beginning to read it

During Reading

Rapunzel’s hair hasn’t grown back yet? Oh, it’s her first week in Corona. Okay...

“Something was missing. I was hoping painting would help me find whatever that was, or at least help me end the afternoon on a happy note.” (is this relatable or what? I know not to chase after the elusive beast referred to as happiness, but I do often strive to end the day on a good note because I feel like Satan wins if I don’t)

Friedborg is Arianna’s lady-in-waiting? That makes more sense now. I always feel bad not knowing much about her or her background. I hope she makes some appearances in the book (no sooner did I type this than I look down and skim the scene where she teaches Raps how to sit. Crazy, right?)

Eugene referring to Rapunzel as “my girl” (so sweet 🥰)

“Eugene’s warm brown eyes and mischievous smile are irresistible from any angle” (she’s head over heels, ya’ll 😂💕😂)

first look at Cass 🥰 That’s my girl! Not only does she want to be part of the guard, but she wants to succeed her father as Captain! Go after your dreams, girl! I support you ❤️

“I’d rather shovel sheep dung than mend clothes and gossip.” Mood 😂😂

she recently discovered a hidden spot by using maps of an ancient underground tunnel system? How cool!

okay, but Cass’ animosity towards Raps is fair. And the fact that she refers to her as “that girl”? Priceless

names of nearby nations? Like, yes please!

the irony of Cass piquing Raps’ interest in her by leaving as soon as she can after throwing the shot put 😅😂😂

Cass worrying she got herself in trouble by practicing shot put. Poor thing!

the angst Cass feels towards her dad because he wants her to be a lady-in-waiting when she clearly doesn’t... so relatable (it’s tough when a parent’s expectations and our own dreams/desires don’t match)

I didn’t realize Cass created the maps herself! She’s so determined to prove herself to her dad, it hurts 😭😭

I wonder if the pools in Yultadore are what make up the lost lagoon...

“Her enthusiasm was so shiny and bright I had to squint” (I totally understand this)

pretty boy Eugene and his quips 😂😂

Cass trying to keep her distance from Raps by calling her “Princess” and firmly saying “Goodbye” before shutting and locking the door behind her

So that’s how Cass and Eugene met... okay, cool. Nothing too crazy or weird. I don’t know what I expected but it’s nice to know how their battle of wits began

I’m noticing a pattern in the words used to describe Cass: knowledgeable, brave, etc. I think that’s cool because I feel like her pessimism gets a lot more attention in the series. It’s nice to acknowledge her other qualities as well.

Arianna chose Cass to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting. I always wondered how she got the position. I’m loving how many little things this book is explaining 🥰

Also, just noticed the bird illustrations on the page of every new chapter. I wonder if there’s a pattern...

OWL!!! 😍😍 he literally “senses her distress”. I wish we got to hear about how they met

I wanted to cry for Cass. Poor thing just wants to follow her dreams. I like the way the finality of the decision was described. It’s so tragic 💔

“When Cassandra saw him [Eugene], her face clouded over like a stormy afternoon” 😂😂 I love how Cass doesn’t try to hide her feelings about people. It’s true that she keeps personal things close to her chest, but not when it comes to what she thinks of others. Honesty is the best policy, right?

I love how Cass continuously prompts Raps to keep reading the poem. She’s like, “Yeah, yeah, just get to the good stuff” 😂

about that poem... maybe it’s from Herz Der Sonne’s perspective. Could the “truth sealed in precious stones” be a reference to Zhan Tiri’s disciples and how they were trapped within stones? And what about the three gems? What’s the emerald tapestry supposed to be? Does it reference Saporia? I HAVE TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

“A few times I thought I heard some rustling behind me, but I kept going” (me: yeah, Raps is definitely following her) 😂

me when I realize the “emerald tapestry” is grass: 🙃

why is Cass so fearful around water? Did someone try to drown her? someone please tell me who is responsible so I can PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE 😅🤣

painfully ironic how Rapunzel can swim despite being locked in a tower all her life and Cass can’t

Raps nonchalantly offering to teach Cass how to swim just warms my heart 🥰❤️

okay, so Cass is responsible for her fear of water. That’s almost worse because it invites shame and self-hatred, which makes it more difficult to push against that fear or overcome it 😔

the importance of Raps agreeing to help Cass even after realizing she doesn’t want to be her lady-in-waiting is HUGE. This is something I feel like should have happened throughout Season 1 but never did (Raps supporting Cass and trusting that she has a good reason for things even if she doesn’t understand)

“But now I have to teach you which fork to eat your waffles with and stuff” 😂

the first time they call each other Cass and Raps 🥰😍🥰😍

woah, I didn’t expect there to be a time jump. I should have known because I kept wondering why they would depict Rapunzel with her blonde hair on the cover if this takes place before it comes back. Anyways...

I forgot to take notes as I read the majority of part 2. I’m currently a chapter or two away from part 3 and all I have to say is that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it. Dahlia’s definitely shady and so is Marco. I suspected Marie earlier but now I’m not sure. She wasn’t obvious until she was but now she’s not again so maybe she is guilty after all? Either way, Raps is making dumb decisions and I’m over here yelling at her to get her life together before she gets killed or kidnapped (whichever comes first, I guess) 😅🙃

Cass is absolutely roasting Rapunzel and I am here for it! Don’t mind me just munching away on my popcorn over here 🍿

Cass said she’s finally gonna leave Corona so I bet Raps will fess up and tell her that Dahlia’s been helping her with the painting for Cass so Cass will let her guard down and think Dahlia’s okay after all. But... she won’t be and they’re gonna realize she was the bad guy after all 😎

didn’t think Cass would get attacked 😅 also, the fact that she is highly skilled and powerful yet trips and twists her ankle is such a mood. Like, that’s literally me in a nutshell. She is beauty, she is grace, and she falls flat on her face 🤣🤣 while I’m here, I’m guessing Marco is her attacker because he probably has a rough voice

Okay, so I guess Dahlia really is innocent then... idk, I still think she could be up to something

I WAS RIGHT!

Marco’s the bad guy and things just escalated quickly cause now he’s got a knife against Cass’ throat 😳😬😵

so Dahlia’s innocent after all... I thought she or Marie might be working with Marco but I guess not (kinda disappointed to be honest)

okay so this Dahlia chick is exasperatingly hilarious 😂😂 she legit took part of Raps’ bookcase to use for an art piece. Like, who does that?

“Pascal shook his head, totally fed up” me too bud, me too 🤣

After Reading

so I did get to see how Cass and Raps first met (also how she first met Eugene as well)

I like how they combined their talents and passions at the end to create the map painting

There were a bunch of lines that made me laugh, although there were just as many that hit me like a knife to the chest (pretty much anything angsty from Cass’ POV) so I like how it made me feel all the feels (I felt like an investigator trying to figure out who the bad guy was and that was a blast 😆)

overall it was pretty good. I did feel like the characters were off (Arianna seemed like she swapped personalities with Frederick at times and Eugene apologized for joking Cass- as if!), but other than that I enjoyed it. There were a bunch of new characters being introduced so it was somewhat hard to tell who was bad and who wasn’t but I guessed correctly in the end. I was hoping there would be more than one bad guy but oh well.

I’m glad I read it because now I know a few extra things about Corona and its surrounding countries (plus I can finally read through all the Lost Lagoon related tumblr posts I saved for later... I was waiting until I read the book and here I am!)

If anyone needs me, I’ll be going through LL tumblr posts. I should definitely be sleeping but that’s not important 😅😂😂

[nightklok]

chickles for 2? or toki for 3 if someone asked for chickles already :3

Fandom Memes [open!] (shout out to firefox for crashing and making me rewrite this like twice-so i continued to add more to this because why not)

When I started shipping them: Oh this is actually a funny story- I can’t quite remember when I started shipping them but according to AO3, I read a chickles fanfic in November 2019 (the only one i didn’t reread because im sure there were others i read too) and that was around when I began starting the show. But around that time, I SWEAR when I looked at Charles wiki, there was some line there that was along the lines of  ‘Charles and Pickles had slept together sometime before Dethklok. while pickles doesn’t remember it, charles does’ I don’t even know if it was possibly a fever dream, mixing up a fanfic as canon, or I just happened to scroll through it when someone threw the line in BUT I CONSIDERED IT CANON and I lowkey waited for that scene as I remembered it on/off and it didn’t take until April 2020 when I finally finished the show to realize that it wasn’t canon D: so thanks to fanfics and probably misreading something in November-december 2019 that’s when I shipped them :D (Also if anyone knows where I may have gotten this from pls link me)

My thoughts: I love them!! They’ve made me happy shipping them and they’re just a good and wholesome ship to me! I think it has everything I could ever want in a ship; the angsty and sad moments but also the happy ones- I don’t know how I can articulate just how much they clicked with me but they really did! They’re like the ultimate band parents,

What makes me happy about them: I think I love how they can bring something in each other that they normally wouldn’t be able to do themselves. I headcanon Pickles as someone with ADHD (and aries because hi im an aries with ADHD) and I think Charles would be able to help calm him down and keep him focused or at least stimulated when he needs to be. Being with Charles can help him be a bit controlled (Though sometimes not by much when he wants to be a tease haha). I love the idea too of Pickles being able to bring Charles to have a more exciting day or just being able to help break routine a bit. Pickles sometimes likes to do things on the spur of the night just to keep himself entertained and Charles prefers to keep things in a schedule. They would find a compromise where Charles clears out a day and Pickles just takes him somewhere random. Is it a concert? Forest? Amusement park? Half the fun’s in not knowing! But Charles enjoys that he can be a bit looser and actually get to laugh and smile and just be having the time of his life with him-

What makes me sad about them: I think Doomstar/Post-doomstar and even the events between season 2 and 3 makes me sad, it breaks my heart in two just thinking about it. Pickles...would be so fucking devastated  when Charles died, especially if we go by if they met during Snakes N’ Barrels and he may have never gotten a chance to confess his feelings (or he did for more sadness) and Post-doomstar? He probably ends up blaming Charles leaving on himself and- though depending on where we’re thinking of the possibility of the timeline of their relationship, Going Downklok may have wrecked their relationship because alternatively, Pickles may not have flirted with Abigail but probably something else caused them to break up or destroy their relationship. There was a lot of tension/build up in that episode so I guess their build up and eventual burst would be feelings having to resurface, possibly Pickles getting too far in his addictions and Charles still revealing nothing about what happened during his absence or why he came back; so then you get  the dinner scene and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back to get him to quit and then all the events unfold and Pickles just blames himself so heavily on it  oh god i need to WRITE THIS

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don’t think there’s anything in fanfic that annoys me when people write them- It’s more of being uncomfortable/disturbed?...there were a few fics I came across where Charles was borderline abusive/overly sadistic (and one where I wish I hadn’t read-) that left a bad taste in my mouth after reading it. I just feel like that’s way too OOC and Charles definitely isn’t the type of person to be an abusive asshole and/or would definitely know the boundaries of being sadistic in the bedroom while still making sure his partner is into it/feels safe. But i guess that kinda goes in general for any Charles/character fics- 

Things I look for in fanfic: I think them being in character, an interesting plot line, and just it being well written is all i can ask for haha-I honestly love any Chickles fanfic out there; I think the things I look for in particular are either his reactions to seeing Charles when he comes back or anything post doomstar but also implying that they met during Snakes N Barrels help

My wishlist:

I guess I’m just gonna shove in things I hope to write actually- (screaming at me to write particular fics helps motivate me so go @ it-)

A Star reader AU: this actually would be the one of the first (probs second or third) Chickles fic I had ever written as I had drafted it around ago even though I had initially planned for the Chickles to kinda be hinted at but with what I know now, would make it more prevalent. If anyone has read Blood Red Road by Moira Young you might see where I’m going but basically, there was a character who was able to read the stars and predict the future. (if you’re hoping the novel goes more into that i’m sorry-) So if we make Charles one of those people, then probably adds more depth to why he chose to work with Dethklok right? :D  Secret singer fic: I AM writing that one!! I just got sidetracked but God I’m gonna get back to it as soon as I can!! Basically for anyone else reading this, Charles and his friends put up a bet to see how difficult (or easy) it would be for Charles to become internet famous by having him post covers/original songs under an anonymous name. It becomes a chaotic mess when he gets more than he bargained for and does end up gaining some popularity, someone on the internet spreads the rumor the singer is someone famous, and a particular someone came across those songs and finds the lyrics almost a little too relatable. That fic where instead of Pickles being happy that Charles is back from the dead and they can live happily ever after, he becomes incredibly distressed and heartbroken because he ends up suffering major trauma. because seeing your bf ‘die’ all bloodied and mangled and coming back with only a scar and secrets he won’t tell you? That’s definitely years worth of therapy right there. That is like the only fic of this list even remotely close to finishing but God, definitely one of the most difficult to write- Fics where they met before/during Snakes N’ Barrels. I need to write one or two fics on that because I consider it canon. I’m sure I have mentioned drafting one or two fics like that?? Gotta look through my evernotes-

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I’m sorry but no my mind refuses to delve further- And i mean I’ve been digging Magnus/Charles lately and we all know how that wouldn’t last either so they’re meant for each other fjkdsfjlk

My happily ever after for them: The boys defeat Salacia, Charles and Pickles reunite and kiss for the first time in such a long time. They’re finally happy together and get to officially date (or continue where they left off). Charles is able to retire as the priest as his work is completed (or he manages to get it more public considering they saved the world so most likely it’d be a recognized religion) They get married, and when Dethklok officially retires, they buy a few houses, maybe even do music projects together or Charles takes over Crystal Mountain Records actually and Pickles helps out by being one of the music producers, they adopt a cat or dog or both, and just be happy with each other :D

[like-a-bag-of-potatoes]

12 Dates of Christmas - Hot Chocolate

Prompt: Hot Chocolate

Characters: Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: Fluff.. Some tension. 

Wordcount: 1554

Alright, so the fact that Sebastian and his soft lips were still on your mind as you woke up after Chace’s party told you that it wasn't just the alcohol that had messed with your mind. 

Groaning you rolled yourself out of bed and dragged your hungover ass into the shower, hoping that the warm water would ease some of your headache and wash away some of the thoughts that had festered in your mind. 

** 

The day dragged on at an agonizingly slow pace as you waited for Sebastian to show up so that you could do whatever it was that he had planned for the two of you. However, when a knock sounded on your door, all you could think was that you needed more time to clear your mind before you let him in. Fortunately, the door was unlocked and two seconds later he was standing in front of you, that annoyingly handsome smile on his lips. 

“Hey,” you greeted, returning his smile. “So what's on the agenda for tonight?” 

“Some hot chocolate, Christmas themed snack, and a super cheesy holiday movie,” he said with excitement as he held up the bag of snacks that he had brought. 

Somehow it was both reassuring and unsettling that he didn't act weird after what had happened the night before, and it kind of made you relax a little more. You reached out for the bag and he handed it to you. “There's no movie in here,” you noted. No movie but a shitload of snacks that you couldn't wait to dive into. 

“It's 2018, (YN), you can find any movie you like on your fancy new TV,” he sassed. 

“Oh really? If you plan on being condescending all night, I'm gonna start shoving these super sized marshmallows in your mouth,” you threatened, but you had nothing to back it up with as a giant smile spread on your lips. 

“Bring it on, sweetheart,” he said with such confidence that you just couldn't help yourself. You reached into the bag and pulled out one of the largest marshmallows and shoved it into his mouth. 

“I did warn you,” you noted before you turn on your heel and headed to your kitchen, Sebastian with a mouthful of marshmallows in tow. Opening the fridge you pulled out the carton of milk and then proceeded to find a suitable pot to heat it up in, all the while Seb was chewing vigorously on his candy. “I'm gonna have to remember that trick,” you reminded as you poured the milk into the pot and turned on the stove. 

Sebastian looked through your cupboards to see if he could find some small bowls to put the different kinds of snacks in. “You need me to do anything else?” he asked after he had completed his task and successfully swallowed the marshmallow. 

“No, I got this,” you answered as you added some chocolate to the warming milk. “Why don't you go get the movie ready and I'll be right in?” 

“Alright,” he said as he picked up the bowls, balancing them as best he could in his arms as he made the short trip to your living room. 

About five minutes later, you joined him, putting the two over the top cups of cocoa down on the table. Each of them had a mountain of whipped cream on top, covered with green and red sprinkles and chocolate sauce, while a candy cane was shoved into each cup. “There's marshmallows under the cream- cause we know how much you love those- and a special ingredient that shall not be named,” you said proudly as you took a seat on the couch next to him. 

“Special ingredient, huh?” he wondered, looking at you with a smile on his face. “Bet you it's a pinch of love,” he teased. 

“No, you dork,” you laughed. “It's Kahlua.”  

“So you basically just put alcohol in everything these days, huh?” he said, thinking back to your whiskey tea. 

 “Basically,” you confirmed with a thoughtful nod. “So what cheesy movie are we watching?” 

“The Holiday,” he announced proudly, pointing to the TV. “Have you seen it?”

“A few times, but it's perfectly cozy so just bring it on,” you said, and with that, he pressed play and the movie started playing on the TV. 

**

It was about half way through the movie when you realized how far into Sebastian you had sunk. You were now leaned up against his side, your legs curled up under you while his arm had draped around your shoulders. It wasn't like this never happened before, but for some reason you were more aware of it now than you had been in the past. 

“I'm just gonna go grab a blanket,” you said, needing an excuse to create some distance between you. You got up from your seat and grabbed the blanket from a nearby chair before you sat back down, a little more space between the two of you now. 

“You gonna share or am I just supposed to be cold?” he asked with a chuckle after you sat down again. 

“Sure,” you simply replied as you scooched back over and assumed your previous position. So much for my master plan, you thought to yourself as you leaned into him again. You couldn't deny that it felt a little good too though. “I want to go to England and celebrate Christmas in a small cottage like that sometime,” you said in a dreamy voice as you took in the scene unfolding on your screen.

“You really think you could last a whole Christmas in the British countryside?” he asked with raised brows, making you look up at him. “You’re a city girl (YN), that's why you didn't move with your parents when they left the city,” he reminded. He was absolutely right though. 

“Alright… just a couple of days then,” you corrected yourself. “Just to get some peace and quiet before I go explore London.”

“That's more like it,” he said, chuckling. “I actually do think you would love London,” he added as an afterthought. 

“Well. With my current salary, I can start saving now and I'll be in London by 2030,” you joked. 

“Better late than never,” he commented. “You can always marry rich,” he joked. 

“Solid plan,” you noted. “I know you usually have a crazy schedule when you’re traveling, but at least you get to cross some destinations off of the map.” 

“That's true, but I'm mostly too jetlagged to remember that I've been… wherever. I have gotten to go some cool places that I would never have visited on my own though.” 

“Wanna hear a secret?” you asked, tilting your head to look at him again. “The wishlists we made the other day, I wrote travel to Europe as one of my top five.” 

“Top five? How many did you write down?” he inquired with a chuckle. 

“I'm a dreamer, alright,” you defended. 

“I know… just one of your many great qualities,” he said softly. “My arm is falling asleep, we need to mix this up.” He motioned to your seating arrangements with his free hand. 

“Sorry,” you apologized as you realized you had squeezed the life out of one of his arms. 

He just shook his head as he crawled further up in the corner and motioned for you to follow, raising his arm so you could sneak under it and cuddle up to his side. Again, this was something you had done so many times in the past, but now you found it a little awkward, you did as he asked anyway. He let his arm drape across the back of the couch next to you, and this intense need to reach out and lace your fingers through his hit you. You fought the urge though and instead tried to focus on the movie again. 

“Where in Europe do you want to go most?” he asked suddenly, his voice sending vibrations through his body. 

“Everywhere,” you replied with a huff of air. “I want to see the Eiffel Tower, the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel, La Sagrada Familia... all of it.” 

Sebastian wished that he could take you to all those places, and maybe show you some of his favorite places in the world, but he also knew you’d never let him pay for all of that, so it kind of just stopped itself. “You should come with me next time I'm doing a press tour in Europe, you'll get to see some great cities and I guarantee you it will put you off traveling for a while,” he suggested, only half joking. 

“Ha… Maybe I should,” you said thoughtfully. Traveling Europe would be a dream come true, but you had no desire to do it on someone else’s bill so it would just have to wait until you could save up the money.  

**

The credits rolled across the screen, signaling the end of the movie, but you had been sound asleep for the past half hour, Seb didn't have the heart to wake you up though. In truth, he hadn't caught the ending of the movie either, his mind was preoccupied, daydreaming of what a life with you would look like. This feeling was so familiar to him, but at the same time it was brand new. Somehow he knew that this time he couldn't just bury his feelings and hope they would disappear, this time it was more real, and that was terrifying. 

[asocier]

interaction guide for emile! 

last edited: april 6th, 2021

          emile ... my sweet baby boy. he’s an extremely friendly muse all around, and while he seems like he’d crumple at the first sign of danger, emile has surprisingly good fight or flight instincts. there’s a part of him that can work well under pressure, so when the world literally is on fire, emile will unexpectedly take charge and call the shots. of course, that’s when the pressure is really on — for the most part, emile is extremely non-confrontational and is perpetually stuck in a loop of ‘what am i doing with my life?’ as he wakes up everyday to a job he doesn’t care for. he makes the best of things, however, and finds pleasure in the simple things. he especially loves being out in nature, so that’s where he’ll truly be himself. in terms of his love life, he’s trying — that’s all i can really say on the matter. he’d be a good boyfriend, though, once things get serious; my sources have confirmed this. 

          supernatural plots — boy howdy, does emile befriend supernatural beings easily! i’m not sure what it is, but he really has a history of forming meaningful relationships with those who aren’t human, and it might just stem from the fact he thinks they’re incredibly interesting so long as, you know, they aren’t trying to kill him. so throw your magical girls, your aliens, your monsters, your non-human muses at emile because boy howdy is he down for the shenanigans and the adventure that comes alone with befriending these muses. he will absolutely literally be so fascinated by them and not give them grief if they’re nice to him !!! if they try to kill him, boy howdy will he be ready to run for his life because emile is already scared of everything and now he gotta run to save his ass. 

          family friendly wholesome plots — emile + children is literally one of the best things on this blog. i say this for like two other muses on this blog too but c’mon, emile and kids literally get along so well, how could i not suggest this possibility too in an interaction guide for him? he’s one of best babysitters and would love to interact with young muses, even if they aren’t small children but still quite young. even tween/teenagers might get along with him ( though if they’re going through some angst, he’s gonna be ... a lil awkward )

          nature/camping/plant plots — i mentioned that emile loves being out in nature, and this has long been the case since he was young. i make fun of him by saying he’s like an overgrown boy scout just because he has so much knowledge about the outdoors and camping from years of doing things like hiking. he also has a green thumb; really loves himself a nice plant. so here are some plots where your muse: 

needs a camping/hiking buddy and invites emile ( pre-est relationship most likely )

meets emile at a campsite ( first meeting type of plot ! )

is a camp counselor at a summer camp and emile is your co-counselor/head counselor and yall gotta take care of all these fking kids together for a whole summer 

works at a plant nursery/floral shop and they always see emile come in bc he hoards plants and loves to buy fresh cut flowers, either for himself or his sister, alison bc she loves flowers too 

just ... talks to emile about his plants casually or asks him for advice on why their plant isn’t doing so well 

needs a new trail mix/energy bar recipe and asks emile ( a neighbor? a friend? someone who is also looking at recipe books in a book store? ) if he has any

          art/photography/music plots — like his sister, emile dabbles in a lot of hobbies too and he shares a lot of those with alison. the biggest differences lie in the fact that while alison favors watercolor painting or body art with acrylics, emile prefers sketching with paper/pen and paper. similarly, while alison mainly plays the piano, emile plays the violin. photography is something both siblings share, though emile likes to take pictures of landscaping in addition to portraits. here are some plots where your muse:

needs a photographer for their *insert special event here* and hires emile 

needs a violinist for their *insert fancy event here that requires live music* and hire emile

asks emile for violin lessons 

wants to play pictionary with emile and that’s how they learn that emile can draw really well

          “what even is emile’s romantic life” plots —  my boy really tries to fall in love, okay. he tries, but it’s not that easy for him when you take into account how he’s not really out of the closet to a lot of people in his life and how he generally just has terribly luck with romantic relationships in general. this started back in high school, and it really doesn’t do much for his self esteem when it come to dating. it kind of puts dating on the back burner for him, really, especially since he isn’t in the best place in his life at the moment to find a serious relationship, but he still likes to try and go on dates once in a while, and he’s trying to learn to embrace the fact he isn’t straight. so here are some plots where your muse: 

bothers emile a lot about why he doesn’t have a girlfriend and plays matchmaker/tries to teach him how to talk to girls because that’s what you think the problem is 

gets set up on a blind date with emile and it either goes really well, or it goes really badly. plot twist: you two used to know each other somehow ( high school, community college, work before one of yall left the office, camp a while back, ect ). 

plays a supportive role in helping emile discover his sexuality ( can be in high school or afterwards ). your muse can either be super helpful or super intrusive and it makes emile suffer but, you know, your muse has good intentions. this “help” can be your muse sharing their experiences with emile, taking him out to lgtbq+ spaces to help him embrace this side of his identity, assuring emile that it’s not wrong to like the same sex, ect. they could also just take a balls to the wall crazy approach if that’s more their style, up to your tbh

          miscellaneous plots — here are some more random ideas in case you’re feeling stuck still! i’d like to remind everyone that my wishlist tag is always a great place to look too if you aren’t feeling what’s in the guide. i hope that the guide gives you an idea at least as to how you might approach a muse and what plots work well for them!

your muse offers to find emile a better job because they can tell he’s not loving his current job, so they offer him a helping hand. similarly, your muse offers to help emile go back to school because they wants to see emile succeed and be happy doing something in a field he actually cares about.  

office plots — your muse works at the same law firm as emile and shares an office space with him. please talk to him because emile needs a friend at work to make his job more enjoyable :’) 

high school plots — emile does have a high school verse like most of my other muses do. the bulk of what happens in high school involves emile discovering he’s not straight and being bullied for it for nate and cedric. on top of that, he’s witnessing his sister go through a really bad relationship, but with how secretive she is with things, it’s hard for him to intervene. there’s a lot of avenue for serious plots in this verse, but as with alison, lighthearted high school plots can also happen with emile! teenagers aren’t just full of angst, after all. sometimes we just need some shenanigans.

community college plots — instead of university, emile attends community college for a couple years to obtain his associates so that he can work as a legal assistant. he works odd jobs to keep himself afloat, and for the most part, he’s just vibing. 

werewolf verse plots —a post explaining the basics of this verse can be found here! in this verse, emile is considered a beta and spent his whole life practically raising his sister, alison. growing up, the siblings did not belong to a stable pack, and as such, they pretty much spent most of their life kind of living how they wanted. emile in this verse is just vibing, too. he’s not looking for a mate or for drama, he’s just trying to make sure his sister doesn’t get herself into trouble.           i’d like to re-emphasize that this is not a true omegaverse even though i do categorize muses as alphas, omegas, or betas, mention bonding between werewolves, nesting, heat/rut, and the use of suppressants to control the severity of heat. the description of these topics, however, are very tame as the focus of this verse is not unhealthy power imbalances or plotless smut. this verse exists bc werewolves are cool, and also because the idea of bonding between partners is where i find the most interest since true bonding really embodies the “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death” sentiment in marriage vows except even to a more serious degree. so yeah — werewolves. have your werewolf meet mine. it’ll be fun. 

[ladykf-writes]

Fanfic Writer Appreciation (and a little self love)

Sooooo, as talked about I wanted to do a little promo. I may not always be my favorite writer, but I try to be one of my cheerleaders. And well, if you’re here you obviously have some interest in what I’m up to.

SO! Here’s a list of my currently-published WIPs and some info about them, in the order that I’ve updated them, most recent to oldest. 

Feel free to ask questions about any of them!

Dog Whistle (Ao3 || FFN) - started off as a prompt from @snackarey​ when I reblogged some Soulmate AUs. This one was a prompt for soulmates (Zack/Kunsel) who felt what each other felt - like pain. Needless to say, this went into a canon divergent AU where Kunsel felt some of what Zack was going through when Hojo got a hold of him after Nibelheim. And saved him, setting off an ever-increasing list of revolutionary consequences. It’s nearly 58K, and though I’m a little stuck I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Dewprism: Journey to the [Relic] (Ao3 || FFN) - this actually has a lot more written than I’ve posted, I just got a little frustrated because well... the fandom is teeny tiny and there’s no real feedback. But! It’s an interesting piece. It’s a semi-novelization where I’m taking the old PS1 Classic from Squaresoft, Threads of Fate/Dewprism and merging the two storylines. Basically... you can’t play the game anymore unless you got it from the PSN for your PSP or... PS2, I think? Or emulate it, of course, you can do that. And I wanted to bring the experience to more people, because it’s got such a great story.

It’s Not a Game (Ao3 || FFN) - this is my Avengers/FF7 crossover, and funny story, it was actually born out of a comment back on my old Genesis RP blog about how Genesis would totally be Tony Stark’s favorite character if he played Crisis Core. It’s turned into a full blown fixit I have a type and I actually have like, 90% of the next chapter done, it just doesn’t feel quite right so I haven’t posted it. And am, of course, stuck. There’s a case of choice paralysis here; the premise is that, in the MCU, FF7 is a series like it is in our world, and Tony is a fan. So he goes to make a simulation to do a self-insert... only he somehow transports himself (and Bruce) to a dimension where it’s real. A “Stark-insert” someone called it; and it does use a lot of “Self-Insert” tropes, actually. There’s just so many ways it could go that I’m stuck on choosing exactly how to progress here.

Party of Five (Ao3 || FFN) - the MMO AU! This was actually originally a prompt @up-sideand-down​ got, that I got permission to take off with. It’s a modern AU AGSZC where they meet online playing this MMO I made up that’s based off of FF7 and modeled after a mashup of like, me studying WoW and my experiences playing SWTOR. I’ve actually got some ideas of where it’s going, I just got too caught up in technicalities and need to reroute it back to the relationships going on.

Welcome to FF7 (series link, Ao3) - this is me hashing out basically what I think went down pre-games. Most of it is headcanon, I cannot stress that enough. It’s based off of the little we know, of course, but there’s just so much we don’t that it’s mostly headcanon. Tons of OCs. It’s a whole series, and they overlap - different sections that follow different departments, mostly. The base story is Welcome to ShinRa (Ao3 || FFN) and that follows the man who will become President Shinra from back when they first discover mako energy. I’ve also got Welcome to the Science Department (Ao3 || FFN) which starts off with college students Gast and Grimoire and how they get drawn into the beginnings of what becomes ShinRa Electric.

And last but not least, honorable mention to Times of Change (Ao3) - this was actually a piece inspired by @deadcatwithaflamethrower‘s Re-Entry series. I desperately need to reread that before I can hope to continue this, but... one day. One day.... I don’t suggest reading it right now, my headcanons have changed and it needs an overhaul. But you’ll see eventually.

And now... the WIPs you haven’t seen. (Under a cut)

By fandom, just to keep things straight, but in no particular order otherwise.

Compilation of FF7

The Snowball Effect (Ao3 || FFN) ... sequel? continuation? - as one of the gift exchange presents I’ve just done this past month, it is definitely standalone as is, but if I ever figure out where I want to take it, I’ll continue that one. It was just far too much fun.

The Price of Freedom - the sequel to To Be Human, which... I’m looking forward to, but I really burnt myself out on TBH so it’s going to be longer than anticipated before I approach this one. TBH definitely stands on its own, but there were some loose ends left to tie up, so we’ll see how that goes. And when it goes, when I’m ready to approach that again. TBH needs some editing, too... lots of work there.

The Unnamed Pokemon/FF7 crossover that I’ve talked about for... a couple years now (yikes) but now actually have a plot for. It’s very interesting to me, putting Pokemon on Gaia, and seeing how that changes everything. Because like, they’d have presumably used Mew’s DNA since there’s no Jenova (I can’t see them using Deoxys, which would be the closer parallel) and since there’s no Chaos, Grimoire is still alive. Which means no extra Drama between Lucrecia and Vincent - and really, there shouldn’t be the stress between Vincent and Hojo over her being sick because Mew would theoretically be much more compatible with humans than Jenova was.

What I’m saying is Seph has three parents and at least one set of grandparents and a much more stable Sephiroth (and Genesis and Angeal, thanks to Lucrecia teaming up with Gillian) leads to some very interesting changes. Like deciding they don’t want to fight the Wutai war anymore. >_>

Hold My Flower - a timetravel fic featuring our one and only flowergirl, who has had enough of people messing up her planet and refuses to just... let it die. She is, unquestionably, a force of nature. No fragile flower to be found here, this is the gal you see in the OG who threatened a mob boss and meant it. Heaven help anyone who gets in her way. She’s going to save the world. Possibly in a Turk Suit, don’t look at me.

The Long Game - Reeve goes back in time, and holy crap this one is a monster I am truly intimidated by so it’s gonna take a while for me to get going on that. XD But basically, similar premise to the above - the world isn’t healing and someone has to do something, so Reeve is nominated due to his position in ShinRa and potential to... he’d say “influence” but let’s call a spade a spade - manipulate people and events to a more favorable outcome.

A third BIT fic is one that I started writing with my friend @askshivanulegacy back in... damn, somewhere between 2011-2013, before we switched to writing SWTOR fic together. It’s one where Zack is sent back in time, and the differences in him post-Hojo change things even before he can start deliberately changing anything. But I got permission to take and remake that, so I intend to, one day. It was Good Stuff. And you can never have too much timetravel.

Dragon Ball Z

So, this is an oooooold fandom of mine - the first fanfics I ever wrote (under a different name, no I’m not telling XD it was ten years ago) were for DBZ, and definitely the first ones I ever read, back in the days of dial up. And I read a couple interesting takes on Chichi/Vegeta fic... and I was talking with @vorpalgirl about it and said I’d love to try my hand at something with that one day. I think they have the potential to be a really great pair (don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the canon pairings but those two have a lot of potential) so... yeah someday I might dip my toes back into Z. It’s on the wishlist, as well as reviving and cleaning up an old unfinished work of mine. Someday~

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Seven Years Lost - this one I’ve been debating a long time, and even did a little on! It’s basically how I rationalize what happens when Link pulls the Master Sword out and - well, spoilers but it’s a really old game so - when he comes out as a teenager and is immediately able to handle a nearly-adult body. It involves a dreamscape scenario where he communicates with his past incarnations and learns from them, and from sharing dreams with Zelda due to their bond.

Sailor Moon (manga/Crystal based)

Second Chances - I read a lot of SM fanfic back in the day, and my favorite ones were... more real? Like, there were more consequences to these 14 year old kids out there fighting for their lives and sometimes losing them. I’d like to tell a story through Minako/Venus’ eyes primarily, covering what that’s like, and then I also just really want a happy ending for the senshi/shittenou? So... yay canon divergence, lol. You guys know the deal by now. XD

Star Wars: Legends Era

United We Stand - SWTOR fanfic, baby! Basically, I’m just dying to see the eight classes cross over each other, and I will bend canon to do it. For anyone that’s played the original class story lines, there is some cross over but believe me when I say there were huge opportunities that were let drop by nature of the game. Just with the two Jedi stories alone... but that’s #spoilers for a not-as-old game so I’ll leave that be and only elaborate if asked.

(And do feel free to ask about any of these! I’d love to hash them out more.)

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Water Type

And isn't it just like the polar opposite of Fire to have the an outlandish amount of Pokemon. Indeedly, the Water type is the most populated type in the game at a whopping 140. You could have an entire generation of Water types alone, for Pete's sake! Not like that's a bad thing of course. After all, an overwhelming majority of life forms on our very own planet are aquatic. It only makes sense Water type has some pretty huge numbers like this!

However, it becomes hard to talk about the type when its theme is so dang broad. If something swims or lives near water, it's probably Water type. That's just about the only criteria there is for it. As such, the type rarely gets any fun twists to it. If anything, it's a surprise when something like Stunfisk or Dhelmise look like swimming creatures but aren't Water type!

I've not really got any qualms with Water's type advantage logic either. It's weak to Grass, Electric, and resists Fire, Steel, Ice, and itself. I GUESS you could argue an Ice element being weak to or strong against a water element is interchangeable. And offensively, it's good against, Fire, Ground, and Rock. All of which are fairly common offensive types, making Water a really good type to have in general. Trust me, you feel absolutely naked if you don't have one handy.

Top 10 Favorite Water Types:

Not as hard as you'd think with how many there are to pick, honestly. I did really struggle with coming up with my Top 10 Grass list. Here? Yeah, I got that good handful of faves and runner-ups. Nothing too surprising!

Bottom 10 Least Favorite Water Types:

(Sorry monkey fans). This one was a bit more tough though because there's a lot to like. So there just hits a point where you're checking off the more mundane looking ones.

The Cutest:

It’s killing me to not put one of the new water types in Gen 8 here, but we ARE avoiding spoilers here after all!

The Coolest:

The Prettiest:

For those that would call me out for not putting Wishiwashi in the “Coolest” category, it honestly strikes me as more pretty looking in the sense of seeing a cloud of a shimmering school of fish looks kinda pretty. All those glowing eyes...!

The Spookiest:

I keep having to remind myself “Dhelmise doesn't go here” haha.

Weirdest/Most Unique:

Most Inventive Use of the Type:

Yeah, I really had to stretch for this one, since the type is almost entirely consisted of animals that live in water. No big shockers there. Rotom manages to get away simply by not being a water creature, and Araquanid's a fun reverse-diving-spider by being a spider that dwells in water and gives itself a water bubble to breath on land. Everybody else is kinda just... fairly creative uses of aquatic animals? And Vaporeon because a Water Eeveelution very easily could've been an otter-type creature but they just turned it into a fish-dog.

WATER TYPE WISHLIST:

NOTE: These Type Wishlists were written out before any news on new Pokemon from Sword and Shield. The Pokemon revealed over time will not affect these wishlists. Just to present them unaltered despite spoilers and in the interest of getting the wishlist out there, and to see which items on said wishlists get fulfilled by Sword and Shield!

An Angler Fish But Like For Real This Time:

Lanturn is still such a letdown. Let me have me terrifying angler-hellmouth already!!

A Stingray:

We already have a manta, and I'd like to see a better manta than Mantine admittedly, but I'd be down for a stingray as well. Stingrays are so neat and would be really flexible for multiple design ideas!

A Hydra:

Not quite a mythical Hydra, but arguably just as impressive. This odd little creature is one that really caught my eye out of a biology textbook of all things. These tiny lil things are poisonous monsters that look unassuming on the surface, but have a few neat little tidbits about them. Namely, they technically don't have mouths, and yet they must eat. How do they do so? By literally tearing themselves open to swallow prey, sometimes prey that's even bigger than the hydra itself. They even reproduce by growing an extra hydra off of its stalk which eventually breaks off. AND they seem to be immortal, never technically aging. You could even have these things be unorthodox little Water/Dragon types!

A Swordfish:

I know there's Tapu Fini, but I'd still like to see a proper swordfish 'mon. Rather predictable would be a swordfish that would have a literal sword for a nose, but I think it'd be neater to have a swordfish that instead has a harpoon for a nose!

A Narwhal:

I'm not too picky on how exactly, I'm just surprised we haven't gotten one of these yet. Almost as surprised as us not having...

A Dolphin:

...Even with how requested it is, I can't say I can blame Gamefreak for drawing a blank for this long. I've tried for the longest time to make my own dolphin Fakemon, but never could come up with anything. They're hard animals to work with! I just hope they properly convey their personalities as gigantic assholes of the sea. Dolphins really bully all sorts of animals out there. They hunt in packs and circle around schools of fish, taking turns diving in to eat while the fish rather helplessly swim in confusion. These things even beat up SHARKS for their lunch money!

A Mantis Shrimp:

I wasn't sure whether to put this here or save it for the Bug type. But god I'm probably gonna come up with SO many for Bug type, let's shorten it by one. The Mantis Shrimp is easily one of my favorite invertebrates, let alone animals in general out there. These things are just so badass how could you NOT want one in. Ideally I'd love to get one that's Bug/Water, but given its punching thing I'd suspect it'd get paired with the Fighting type anyway.

[Archive]

[the-new-fanfic-order]

The Last Time I Saw You {Part VII}

Author: Zoe

(A/N: I’m really proud of this series, and I do apologize for the sporadic posting! I try really hard to focus on the quality of a chapter versus how fast I can get it out, so I really hope this chapter was worth the wait!)

Modern! Ben Solo x Reader

Plot Summary: Ben Solo. The man who made it his job to tease you for the entirety of your high school existence, and all it took was a high school reunion for him to come back into your life. Leaving your big city lifestyle to help out with Rey and Finn's wedding, you see if Ben's really changed over the last ten years.

"Ben, I can take an Uber home."

"Just take the free ride." He scoffs, as the two of you walk out of the diner, night falling as a breeze flies past you and makes you shiver.

"You cold?" Ben asks and you nod. "Should have brought a jacket."

"Gee, thanks." You roll your eyes as he takes off his leather jacket and puts it on you. "You don't have to, you know."

"It'll only get colder when we get back on the road. Besides, I've got a sweater on." He gets on his bike, as you climb behind him and wrap your arms around his chest.

"You know, I noticed something else different about you since high school?" You note.

"Oh? Like what?"

"You gained weight." You reply, as he suddenly drives the bike forward, causing you to let out a startled yell.

"That's muscle, you dick." He chuckles, before finally driving out onto the road.

"Is that from all the mechanic work?" You ask.

"Not exactly, I started working out more after graduation. The job definitely helped, though." He shrugs, feeling you clutch onto him a little tighter when he speeds up.

"Hey, does this look good to you?" You ask, sitting on the floor, your back to the couch as Ben's head hangs upside-down next to you.

"What is it?"

"I'm trying to pick out a prom dress."

"You're going to prom?" He asks. "I thought you didn't have a date."

"If I don't get asked, I'm going with our group of friends. Are you going?" You ask and he shrugs.

"I don't know. Feels kind of arbitrary to me. And I also don't want to go through the hassle of a giant promposal." He turns his head to face you as you do the same, noses barely touching.

"It's prom, Ben. You should go, make some memories and have some fun." You reply, before looking back at your laptop. "What about this?"

"It's really pink."

"Yeah… how about this one?" You point to a navy blue dress with rhinestones along the skirt. "This seems more my speed."

"It's not gaudy looking." Ben shrugs. "What if you do get a date, though? And they've got a different color."

"The prom rule is that if you ask someone, your outfit matches their outfit. If I wear navy blue, they also wear navy blue."

"It's all so pointless."

"It's pointless fun, though." You smile, saving the dress to your wishlist.

"Still no date?" Ben raises his brow, leaning next to you as you put your books away in your locker, a giddy smile on your face.

"Actually, Ryan asked me."

"Ryan?" He furrows his brows. "The dickhead on the swim team?"

"He's not a dickhead, shut up." You huff, closing your locker. "But I'm really excited. You sure you're not going to prom?"

"Maybe." He shrugs, slowly hiding the corsage he bought behind his back. "I'll see you in chemistry class."

"See you. And don't steal my notes this time!" You walk off as the bell rings, catching up with Rey as the two of you quickly rush to algebra.

Ben sighs, stuffing the corsage back into his backpack and walking to social studies, a slight frown evident on his face.

It takes the strength of both Kylo and Phasma to force Ben into the gymnasium, decorated accordingly for prom night.

"Under the stars? Real original." Ben scoffs, adjusting his navy blue tie.

"Come on, everyone else is waiting." Hux gestures to Poe talking with Finn and Rey. Ben looks around, before seeing you sitting alone and quickly wiping your eyes. Ben quickly rushes over to you, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" He asks as you look up at him.

"I don't want to talk about it." You head out of the gym, Ben's gaze following you before he splits off from everyone else and following you outside.

He sees you sitting in the football bleachers, sniffling and trying to keep your mascara from running. He slowly walks over to you, sitting down next to you. "...You kept going on and on about how prom was gonna be fun. What's with the tears?"

"...Ryan stood me up. Decided to go with… with Lina instead." You pull your knees to your chest, the skirt of your dress falling down to your toes. "You were right."

"About what?"

"...He was a dickhead." You rip off your corsage and throw it into the football field as it's shot into the air by the sprinklers.

"...Just wait here, okay? Don't move."

"Why?"

"Just trust me." Ben gets up and jogs to his truck, opening it and pulling his corsage out of the glove compartment, before running back to you. "Here."

"What?"

"I… had a feeling this would happen. You alright with me as a backup date?" He opens up the box and shows you a corsage with a dark blue rose and daisies.

You smile slightly, wiping your eyes. "I could do worse."

"That's the spirit." He chuckles, putting it onto your wrist. "You ready to get back in there?"

"Yeah… yeah, I am." You nod, as he helps you stand up. You smooth your skirt down, and he helps you down the steps, before pulling out his phone.

"Hey-"

"No way, you take pictures all the damn time. Let me have a turn for once. Smile."

You let out a small laugh, smiling for a few pictures before the two of you head back inside. "Why are you doing this?"

"I've been annoying you for years. Call it a late apology. Even though I'm not really sorry." He jokes, as you smack his arm lightly. "Alright, come on. Let's try have some fun, okay?"

"Thanks for the ride." You climb off of the bike, parked in front of your apartment building. "See you soon?"

"Yeah." He shrugs, holding his hand out when you start taking his jacket off. "Keep it. Mom's been trying to get me to cut down on my collection. I've got too many of them that look exactly the same."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." He smiles, as you nod in thanks and head back into your apartment. Ben stays for a short while, biting the inside of his cheek, before shaking his head and muttering to himself. "Don't think about her like that, come on."

He starts his motorcycle again, heading home as fast as the speed limit would allow him to.