#gonna make a video walking thru all of these options

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

hiiiii hiiii just wanted to let you know I've updated my freelancing page with a couple new services & updated rates!!! tried my best to keep this as affordable as possible while ensuring the rate is fair to me & also have a bargain option now to keep things accessible :)

Rachel now offers:

Discounted combo - Line & developmental edits (starting $120USD, short stories/chapters)

Bargain - Line & developmental edits ($40USD, short stories/chapters, max 1500 words)

Line edits ONLY (starting $90USD, short stories/chapters)

Developmental edits ONLY (starting $60USD, short stories/chapters)

First page edits ($15USD, short stories/chapters)

Poetry edits (starting $15USD)

gonna monitor to see how these new prices go but if you're looking for an editor I'd LOVEEE to help!! :))

Work with me as an editor!

[futuremercifulnerd]

New 2024 resolution just dropped - Stop playing overwatch because its fucking garbage now and 90% of the ppl that play it are braindead

[crazysodomite]

i study gamedev and today's lecture was on the origins of the stealth genre... got to nerd out about constantine's mansion 😁 i mostly know abt the series from watching a friend play thru the first game but it was still very heartwarming to see it discussed! i have special permission from my prof to help and edit his presentations for future students (bc im a game history n genre nerd) and given ur the resident tumblr thief expert in my eyes, i wanted to ask what interesting facts should we mention abt the series' mechanics and their influence on the genre? what would a true thief fan like to not be overlooked in the genre wide discussion? sorry if it's a confusing question, i just like hearing people nerd out either way...

also just seeing u mention it in any context makes me very happy inside, brings back good memories :] did you know the stealth genre started with a prototype game about shoplifting? it then got bought by taito and turned into the 1980 lupin iii game!

umm i feel like im too doopid to really do thief and its mechanics justice... i dont think im a thief expert just a thief fan... i haven't played a lot of other stealth games except thief so it's hard for me to judge and compare!

one of my favorite analysis videos on thief from a person who just uploaded this banger and was never seen again...

i think nowadays the 'safe bet' is to not create anything too difficult or challenging for the player, sometimes rudimentary stealth mechanics are included to 'be an option' but stealth as an actual genre is pretty dead right now.

it's hard to imagine a game being created nowadays focused mostly on stealth, with complex mechanics and large sprawling levels without a minimap and objective marker pointing you where to go.

i think a lot of these things can be accessibility features or just things developers include to avoid player frustration. after all someone is probably going to get upset and quit the game if they spend hours walking around the map not understanding where they're supposed to go.

but in the end the levels themselves should be constructed to be able to be navigated without objective markers and minimaps. for example i rarely even look at the included map when im completing a thief level because i just kinda expect to complete the level and figure out what to do simply by exploring, listening to conversations, reading notes, paying attention to the environment, etc. though i do really appreciate being able to see which room i'm currently in on the map like in thief 2...

and i'm not even gonna lie i looked up guides for certain levels in thief because i couldn't figure out what to do, but i would rather have this point of frustration instead of a game i can just turn my brain off and press buttons at random to complete, that doesn't respect my intelligence at all. and thief games are far from perfect, especially since the devs were rushed and the company ended up going bankrupt, that's why its especially sad to not see any real thief successors or even an actual demand for a good stealth gaming experience.

there's a reason the community around thief is still going strong, developing FMs, discussing the game, creating huge campaigns, porting the game mechanics to a newer engine, etc. if the skeleton of thief wasn't good enough to warrant such a long lifespan none of that would happen! thief is so good, despite being a game literally older than me, that people would prefer to play a thief fm instead of whatever 'stealth mechanics' the newest AAA game cooked up. anyways heres my santances i hope you like them.

i would love for mechanics introduced in thief to be built upon with newer technology. for example more robust dynamic light mechanics like those introduced in deadly shadows (not pushed far enough sadly... but the possibilities are so exciting) as well as more robust audio and various other improvements that could be made if there was actual interest in stealth games anymore... i mean hell a lot of people who made FMs for thief went on to make other games (dishonored) but then those games still don't really hit like thief does.

okay im just gonna highlight some points bc i genuinely do not possess the capability to write in english. gets scared

I think an interesting comparison can be made between the light gem from thief and like, the 'detection meter' some games with 'stealth mechanics' have nowadays. What does the light gem do? It shows which light level you're currently in. There is predictability and consistency in how enemies react to you at different light levels. Your Actual Skill matters, not what perks you chose on the progression tree or what 'stealth skill' you used on your character. If you're at the lowest 'hidden' light level you are basically safe from enemies unless they walk into you and you can plan your next movement, if you're in a higher light level you need to pay close attention to enemies to not get spotted. Can you actually play the game without the light gem? I think yes, since your detection is mostly sound-based cues, and the light gem simply gives the player concrete information to play better and get predictable, skill based results. The 'detection meter' is there because most games don't really have light/shadow mechanics or robust stealth-based enemy AI. You need to visually show the player they've been spotted because in most games the sound design is not catered to stealth and you won't hear an enemy seeing you, or the level design is constructed in a way where you will be spotted by someone looking at you from across the map and not understand where that came from, etc. Frankly in most games you're not even put in situations where you can weave your way around enemies, follow them, sneak around them, etc. You can either press a button to knock them out from behind, or you 'discover' a passage that allows you to bypass all enemies since stealthing 'on the ground' is literally not possible because of the AI that like, spots you based on proximity and nothing else. Or there's like, a meter that goes up the longer you stay around the enemy before they spot you, etc.... You don't feel like you make your own stealthy way, using the tools and circumstances you've been given, and instead you just 'discover' the pre-determined 'stealthy way' intended by the devs.

Sound. I probably can't even name a game where sound matters more than in thief. Sound information is as important as visual information in thief. You can tell which specific level of alertness an enemy has simply by their voicelines. Different floor materials make different sound levels (which may not be super realistic, but it's a sacrifice thief makes for the sake of gameplay), different speeds you move at make different levels of sound, your items and arrows make sound, enemies can use sound to alert each other, etc. An enemy doesn't need to see you to be alerted, and you can hear how many enemies are in a room, what direction they are coming from, and if it's safe to come out of a room based on sound proximity. Also you can press your ear against a door to listen. I genuinely can't name another game that utilizes this.

Okay ummm.... Thief mechanics are robust enough to allow for all kinds of different playing styles. You can use your tools or you can not use any of them at all, you can knock everyone out or go completely undetected by anyone, the thief community makes up their own rulesets for playthroughs not intended by the devs at all, but those are still possible and fun to do.

Stop with the 3rd person view camera. More leaning from a corner and listening to your enemies, less 3rd person camera where you can see enemies while being completely safe and undetected. The first person view is extremely important to thief in my opinion, and adds an incredible amount of immersion. Also, thief never fucking takes away control from you to play an animation or a quick time event!!! It's infuriating when games do that !!!

Even dishonored, a game i actually really enjoyed, is still really lacking in stealth. You spend most of your time perched up on weirdly placed objects above your enemies that make it safe for you to basically teleport from place to place while being undetected by enemies. Dishonored has more of a focus on actually engaging and killing enemies, which imo is really unnecessary. I should actively avoid engaging with enemies in any way in a stealth game. In a perfect stealth game, no enemy sees or hears me at all, while i can still weave around them and pick their pockets, complete all my objectives while exploring a wide map that makes sense and is rewarding to explore, and be able to get out unscathed...

here are my new sentences 😁

[anna-neko]

gonna absolutely be that "old lady shaking her walker, and screaming how olden days were better" for a minute here.....

There is a very specific thing I very much miss, and its the... well... lack of streaming. Scheduled programming! (be it both visual or radio. .... the radio one is whole 'nother rant, fuck ClearChannel/Viacom etc etc)

now don't get me wrong - i freakin luv the ability to watch some ancient b/w telly, carefully pumped pixel by pixel into my phone from the library server at 2:45am....

but its the fact Boring Dystopia today doesn't let you escape algorithms & their endless grey sludge

so like... TV! My set cannot pick up regular airwaves signal w/out additional "digital bunny-ears" or something similar. Most stations have switched to digital signals years ago, this is fact.

Back in the day you could flip on the telly, and have the choice of a few local channels. You got your usual local affiliates: FOX, WB, ABC, UPN, NBC, CBS and of course PBS. plus that one endless shopping network

Even as background noise you'd still end up getting all sorts of good stuff with different ads, local news flashes, whatever sitcom was running would have "on the next..." and you'd be like "heeeey, Friends is still making new episodes? and this channel still shows it?" Might hear about some movie didn't know existed because it was mentioned as scheduled for Saturday 8pm eastern, 7 central in that last ad-break, but the visuals in this tiny clip looked neat so might try to see it.....

what can i do today tho... Lets see, there's the option of a bunch of streaming shit. It requires a quick app d/l (again, don't get me wrong, TUBI and PlutoTV are a+ "thank fuck u exist" kinda things) buuuuut ... you can't just leave it be. Even the ads are somehow ... grey formless sludge. The same 3-5 shitty things that are determined by algorithm, never any variation. No news-teases, no trailers for movies coming to theater/streaming soon.... who'da thought would miss the damn Wendys new breakfast deals or local (local) car dealership promos

but no, with a streaming 'oooh wait, 'app' you gotta either scroll thru the shitty UI menu to pick what you wanna watch specifically... or in case of Pluto chose a channel.... Which will be just One Thing on a loop too (like a channel of nothing but Addams Family. nothing but The Walking Dead franchise. nothing but SailorMoon episodes) If you chose an episode of a show, and put away the remote it will just keep jumpin to next episode of same until it runs out...

.... i miss times of day influencing what was on. The kinda shit running during "primetime", early morning cartoons, early-noon little kids targeted shows, mid-afternoon soaps and bullshit talk shows, vs "middle of the night" The silly station eye-catches (TNT...dun dun dun, we know drama), ads for gushers mixed in with quick weather updates as the channel hopes you'll tune in at 10pm for the News. I miss discovering new (new to me!) shows or movies but flipping a channel. Disney Channel used to air ANCIENT b/w Alice Comedies or those utterly ridiculous 70s bebi Jodie Foster movies at 1am. AMC was full of old movies (pre-70s stuff mostly), TLC stood for "the learning channel", MTV and VH1 were 2 distinct separate entities showing actual ~ try to contain your shock ~ music videos. and if u were hella lucky, you'd glitch into (or it was free preview month) MTV2 which was for the alt rock vids!

_________________ No i don't miss the ancient shit like TV set that had round knobs and the numbers only went to 13. The horrid static noises. I don't miss VCRs (needing to rewind, hoping the tape hasn't demagnetized, or deteriorated frm too much use etc) . Fuck, don't even miss Blockbuster w/ their exceptionally ruined DVDs that wouldn't play past a certain point and them just goin "oh well, sorry...." and doin fuck-all

whoda thought would be missing an actual structure of some sort, running all sorts of diverse shit in pre-programmed blocks on set schedules. There was a human touch, the human element to it

[gavinsmg24]

I’m sorry you’ve been feeling depressed baby. It sucks. I know that just changing things for the better doesn’t always stop depression. Of course it there. But! Grrr. Sorry lost train of thought. But! I’m glad your at least. You know. Getting by and doing routines! At least you haven’t fully shut down! Obviously the feelings you feel aren’t fun. But! Think about how far you’ve come! Idk fully but just think. A couple years ago if you were depressed you may not have even been able to do routines. I’m not saying this off fact or anything I’m just saying you’re maturing always. So it makes sense that you’re handling yourself better day by day. Depressed yes. But! Functioning! Of course it’s not good to stay there. But. Your eating. And finding a few ways to entertain yourself. It may be hard now. But you’ll strive for that happy!

I’m proud your keeping things tidy. And! Keep applying until you land one you really think works for you! I’ve been throwing out applications even if I’m meh about the job just to see my options.

And hmph. It sounds like you disassociate to either not feel that nauseous can’t breathe feeling. Or. You can’t breathe and are nauseous from the stress of everything on your mind so your brain is taking you to a place it can relax. Even if not really. I’m not saying this to tell you something you don’t know. Just trying to understand you more is all. Or like. Once again. Make you feel sane!

I’m setting you some side quests!

I’d say today or this week but I dont want to make you feel pressured so!

Sometime whenever you feel like it! Daddy is giving you this quests!

Play a video game Youve wanted to play! Even if it’s not fully the vibe. Pick a chill one and dive in! There’s been times I wasnt even into the game I was playing at first but then after a bit I ger more invested. It’s like! Swimming!

When the water is cold. You shove your whole body underwater to get it over with!

So when the game gets boring. Dive in! I know that doesn’t really make sense but! My gamer girl has to get a good gamer score before I take you back 😝 (just silly “confidence”. Like oh yeaaa you’re gonna work for that score just to get my favor 😝. You can try and win my favor if you want but you have it 🥺 hehe)

I’m gonna come back to some of this most likely so if I seem short it’s just cuz sleepy brain. I’m not passing out so don’t be upset! I just mean I’m not as. Supportive. Lovey. Daddy mode as much at the moment. But! They can say all the right things but do they DO the right things. And when the wrong things are said. How bad are they. Are they listening to you. Are you listening to them. Etc. My point is! Someone can say and do everything right. And it sometimes just isn’t it. And it isn’t always something that can be changed. But it also can. Meaning. Maybe your not wrong. Or maybe you are.

Like. Based off the past things you’ve said. I think it makes sense that you feel nauseous or not appreciated at times. Once again. Not trying to stir the pot. If this was you and me I’d be trying to work thru it but directly instead of me like. Sort of giving advice hehe. I’m sorry I’m rambles. But you’ll love reading right 🥺

If you have that sign of relief when their gone it sounds like they stress you out. And once again. The posts about. Making food n being mad. Doing things and being mad would be frustrating! Like. Of course I’m not saying break up. Run away. Etc. But at the very least. Your feelings. May very well be justified.

This point was basically to ease your thoughts on. Him saying things right and you still feel shitty. We’ll. Don’t! Maybe they have a lot of making up to do with you first! Convos and arguments are stressful and exhausting. I hope your finding time to relax! Maybe go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Listen to music.

Idk if I finished the quest comment.. video games! A walk! Music! Playing instruments! Drawing! Journal entries. Abstract stories. Have you ever just put a pen to paper and just let your brain guid the pen? Like just a silly tale

Once upon a time! There was man named chaddington. And he was the master shredder of waves! One time he hit a wave so good he split in half like Moses! (Red Sea reference. Uhh I only say that cuz that spelling of moses seems wrong lol. Mosas? Anyways) this of course upset the merpeople down below bcuz now they couldn’t cross to the other side. They voiced there upsets but chaddington was to busy not giving to fucks bout the fish folk. Then he said “you can’t even do anything about it! I’m on laaaand” 😝 then the brave MerMcdonald swam so fast! He dove across the water. Tackling chaddington into the water on the other side! From there the merpeople beat chaddingtons ass! He said. “Wait” and put up his might hand symbol 🤙. And the split in the water. Filled back with water. He apologized and decided that instead of being a jerk. He was gonna shred with the merpeople! Like. This! 🌊🧜🏻‍♂️🧜🧜🏻‍♀️🌊🏄‍♂️ and chaddington and mermcdonald high-fived at the peak of the wave.. the end… (then they kissed 😝😂) the end!

Sorry that went longer than expected. Just rambling daddy. I hope you enjoy my words. I’m sleeping! Come cuddle daddy pleeeease 🥰❤️‍🔥 I love you so much. Feel my hands on your face. Your shoulders. Wrapping my arms around. Your feelings are valid. You deserve to feel happy. And you will. Now may be a hard time. Even if “nothing happens”. You’re allowed to be upset about things upsetting you. Also. Based on things you’ve said. You really are allowed! Of course you don’t wanna feel these bad feelings. But. I hope your partner works on fixing their end. Don’t rush the family thing! Of course they’ll wanna see you. And you want to. But. Just think of ways over time on how to break the ice.

I’m gonna finish up now. I really love you H. I want what’s best for you. Maybe one day that’ll be me! And instead of typing I’ll be able to take action!🙈 just do your best to enjoy! Whatever you do! Mwah. Mwah. And this last one! A belly kiss! Mwah!

🥰😍💘

[mayansmcsblog]

the prank war has began

sooooo i saw this gif and instantly got an idea but as i wrote it, the idea completely changed and somehow it turned into this.

there is a ton of swearing😂

credit to @thedevilsmoonshine​​ for the gif!

thanks to @withmyteeth​ for helping me with some ideas of what to add in.

this is the first time I've wrote anything in years and the first time I'm ever publishing my work. sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes

A persistent ringing was what woke you up at 2am for the 3rd time this week. You already knew who it was, let's face it who else would be calling at 2am other than him? Opening your eyes you rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling debating if you should let it ring out or answer

What if he’s hurt? No, that would have happened during the day not in the middle of the night Maybe he just needed someone to talk to? That was the likely option.

 You and bishop always had a ‘vibe’ as some people said. You were friends for a few months before he introduced you to the mc, of course it was a shock at first but after a month it slowly became your life. All the parties? you were there. Club events? You were there.

Overtime you and bishop had gotten closer, he would come over to your place all the time, announced or not.

he would come over in the dead of the night when his mind got too loud ,When he needed someone to talk to ,When he simply wanted the company of a friend that did not judge him for the things he did for the mc. He would come over any opportunity he got.

You could swear he was at your place more than he was his own Most of the time he would spend a few weeks at yours, only going back to his to get clothes.

Over the course of the last 6 months you and him had gotten a lot closer, he spent the night a lot, his stuff is all over the place but you two aren't dating , you didn't have any type of label. Why? You couldn't be sure. Most people assumed you two were dating but they were wrong. You two did everything normal couples would yet- you had no label. you were never his girlfriend and he was never your boyfriend.

Taking a deep breath you reached to your bedside table and grabbed your phone but as you could pick it up, it stopped ringing.

That’s not a bad thing right? Maybe he didn’t want to wake you up. Before you could set it back down you reserved a text, scrolling down your notification panel you read it;

📲: Bishop 🖤

You up?

Two words. That’s it just two short words.

Should you ignore it? Yeah, that's probably the best option. Did you want to ignore it? No

Another ping brought you out of your thoughts

📲:Bishop🖤

The guys are being children and I could either use some help over here or a way out😂please tell me you're awake and not just reading this from your notifications and watching Netflix again.

he knows you too well. Being a night owl you normally go to sleep around 3am, maybe 2am if you have work the next day. Normally you would just ignore bishop till the next morning but somehow he always knew when you ignored him and when you were actually sleeping.

Taking a look at your notifications again you saw you had a lot for snapchat, a  few from Coco, a few from Angel along with one single snap from Gilly.

Looks like the trio is having fun.

Opening bishop’s texts you finally reply;

📱: I’m awake just debating on if I should open all the snaps I have from the trio and reply to a seemingly annoyed jefe.

Almost immediately you got a response

📲:Bishop🖤

Ha-ha very funny. Come and sort your boys out, they are messing with that shitty ass car again, trying to do something with the engine

📱: my boys? You're their president, you sort them out. What makes you think they listen to me🤧?

📲: Bishop🖤

They actually like you😂they will listen

📱: keep telling yourself that, they only listen to me when I’m getting them food

📲:Bishop🖤

That counts as listening

📱: whatever

Locking your phone you got up out of bed knowing there was a slim chance you would go back to bed till the early hours now that you were awake. 

Putting on a pair of shorts and a shirt you got your phone and went to the kitchen, deciding to get on a bottle of water and find some shitty Netflix show you wouldn’t even pay attention to

Grabbing a bottle from the fridge you heard your phone vibrate on the counter. Pulling down the notification panel once again you saw it was a text from Ez

📲; smart ass😂📚

Please come and get these children, I can't deal with them anymore

Okay something is seriously going on here.

Face timing Ez you set the phone back on the counter, moving towards the window to open it and let the cool air flow thru the room

Within seconds he accepted and his voice came over the speakers

"Ayyy y/n where you at? Come get the children. Me and bishop are going crazy over here" you could hear a hint of playfulness in his voice 

Picking up your phone you saw he was sitting on the steps outside the club, his phone in his hand angled so you could just see the side of his head while he was looking at something in the distance. 

"I'm at home like all of you should be by now, leave the children alone to play. Are they hurting anyone?" you said as  you headed towards the front room and sat on the sofa

"Not yet"

You could hear cursing being thrown around by numerous people in the background along with the clacking on metal and rock music in the distance.

"Yet?" You questioned

"Yeah, I mean other than themselves" he laughed

"Of course"

There was a few beats of silence before you heard Coco shouting

"Boy Scout! Who’s that eh? You got you another girl?" By his tone you could tell he was definitely high

"No it's y/n dumbass" he responded, turning the phone so you could see Coco walking towards him.

"Ohhh damn I thought you was about to get some man" by now Coco had took over the whole screen "heyyyy y/n what you doinnnnn"

"I’m about to hang up on your dumbass"

"No, no, no don’t do that" taking the phone off Ez he stood up "that’s not nice is it"

You could hear Ez asking where he was going with his phone and be replied with a simple "shhhh" as he walked back to where he originally came from

"Want to see something funny?" He said. You weren't sure if that meant he was going to show you Angel tied to a chair again or Gilly attempting a backflip.

Both are amusing but it's doubtful it would happen three times....

"Did you tie Angel to a chair again? What did I tell you about playing nice hmm?" You put on the most sarcastic voice you could

"Ha funny and no...We couldn't find and ropes"

That made you laugh way more than it should have because you knew that Bishop had hid them in the meeting room and under Ez's trailor after the last time they guys got drunk and thought it was a good idea to put rope all over the place like an obstacle course

"Coco you're gonna kill someone at this rate”

"Hush ight? Jesus be quite ino want em to know your here"

"Okay?" Putting yourself on mute you could hear Angels voice in the background along with Gillys and bishops

"Listen," Angel said , slapping something metallic, clearly as high as Coco was and seemingly having one of his 'genius idea' moments

"OI dumbass listen to meeeee" he said again

"What?" Gilly responded along with a sound of something metal hitting the ground "dammit Angel you made me loose the fucking 10mm socket again"

The camera was still pointed at Coco’s shoulder as he walked over

"Boys, boys, boys" damn he sounded like a child "what would you say if I told you I could get y/n  to being us food"

You audible groaned as he suggested that, there was no way you was going to get them food this late at night.

You heard both Gilly and Angel say "what" then "tell her to get McDonalds" or "let’s get subway" by they were quickly cut off

"Oi children! Stop it, it's  2:30 in the morning, leave her alone '' bishops' voice was closer than you expected. He was probably sitting in the garage with the others observing what they are doing and making sure they don’t kill each other

You couldn’t help but unmute yourself

"Sorry Obispo but the children need their food" your tone was playful, kind of, half of you was saying it just to annoy him, the other half was wanting to see his reaction

"Gimme that phone" within seconds Coco was gone from the screen and Bishop was in the frame 

"So this is why you haven't replied to me hmm?" You couldn’t tell if he was serious or playful

You hadn't missed his text? He never responded to you right?

"Hold that thought" you pulled down the notification panel and saw he did text you.

2:15

📲:Bishop🖤

I’m kicking these guys out in a few minutes

2:20

📲: Bishop🖤

I’m giving them 3 more minutes till I kick them out.

2:23

📲: Bishop🖤

Can I come over if it's not too late after these children leave? "

"Oh, sorry I was busy talking to Ez and then being stolen by Coco" 

"Nah you were just ignoring me wasn’t you?" He responded

"No totally not"

"Sure I totally believe you" he laughed

"I think Ez might want his phone back"

"Wow, nice to see you like speaking to me"

"Well then why don't you call me instead? At least smart ass wanted to talk to me, even if it was about the children of the mc"

The line went silent for a moment. All you could hear was the guys cursing about finding the 10m socket and the sound of bishop walking.

"Okay, I’ll be back in like 20 minutes" with that the line went dead, he didn’t even give you time to respond

 Wow he deadass hung up on me, how mature.

Maybe it was time you opened those snaps. What else did you have to do?

Opening snap chat you saw there was a purple bubble next to Coco, a red bubble next to Angel and a blue bubble next to Gilly.

You opened Gilly's first

12:22~

"What time does McDonald’s close?"

Followed by

"Nvm its 24 hours isn’t it😂😂"

You quickly replied "dumbass" and moved onto Angel’s chat.

Opening the snap it was a picture of Coco, Gilly and creeper sitting opposite him, beers in hand, while seemingly talking along with the caption

"Come party with us"

Skipping past the snap you was presented with another one, this time a video where Coco was sitting on the roof of a car while Gilly was attempting to push it

"C’mon man it's not that hard" Coco said

"Yeah man come on" Angel said from behind the camera

"Shut up before I make you do this" Gilly responded

What the hell have these guys been up to all night?

The snaps just got worse from there. 

Coco’s was full of them doing random stuff, throwing things at each other and even them sitting on Ez trailer roof? How did they even get up there, and how did it not break?

One of them definitely stood out from the others. It seemed like someone else was filming on his phone while Coco was trying to rip off a car door by the handle but it snapped off, sending Coco across the garage and into the wall while Gilly, Ez and Angel laughed at him

His only response was a simple "okay you mother fucker this is war" followed by his practically running like a horse in battle towards the door kicking it resulting in a bent. Unfortunately that's where the snap ended.

Is this what they had been up to? No wonder bishop wanted out.

When the cascade of snaps finished you saw there was still a blue bubble next to Coco's name, clicking on it you could see it was a video around 3 minutes long. 

You saw part of it was what you had already seen. Coco trying to pull the door, being flung into a wall, the guys laughing along with Coco kicking the door once again except this time it didn’t end when he kicked the door.

"Bro you’re not doing it hard enough" Angel stated while moving Coco out of the way

"Look you gotta-" he kicked the base of the door "-start from the bottom-'' he kicked it again causing the bottom to cave in slightly "-see? It's easy"

"Shut up man I’m stronger than you let me do it" Coco pushed Angel out of the way

"No" Angel responded, pushing coco slightly

"Yes" Coco pushed back

"No" Angel pushed again

This went on for a few moments before Gilly set the camera down on some type of surface before walking over to them

"Yo I'm stronger then both of you let me do it"

Coco stopped pushing Angel and turned to Gilly "Nah man you will steal all the shit and run off again like last time"

"Shut up man"

All three of the men were too busy arguing to notice Ezekiel had come into the garage in search of something

"Why the fuck are you guys arguing?"

All of them spoke at the same time

"Coco is sayin he’s stronger than me"

"They are children!"

"Angels tryna be a smart ass"

"You guys are fucking stupid" Ez moved towards where the phone was but didn't pick it up, rather opening the draw of the desk that was below it and picking something up, as he pulled back you could see he was holding some keys.

"Move“ He pushed Angel out the way of the door and unlocked it, grabbing a duffle bag out of the back seat, handing it to Coco

"Here"

All of the guys stood in a state of shock. Coco was the first to speak

"Why the fuck didn’t you tell us there was keys!" He exclaimed

"Because watching you guys be idiots and is fun to see you struggle"

"I swear to God I’m going to say no on your patch vote" Gilly butted into the conversation.

Ez just laughed as he walked away, the video ended shortly after all three of them cussed.

Shaking your head you laughed, of course they are dumb enough not to look for keys.

You quickly texted Coco

"You guys are dumb as shirtttt, you’re lucky Ez is around to help your dumbass's. Did the door not want to play nice hmm? Did you put a dent in the wall again with your fat ass? What was so important in that bag?"

Checking the time you saw it was 2:45

Thank god it's a Saturday tomorrow.

Setting your phone on the coffee table you realized you never put the TV on when you sat down, you were obviously too distanced by FaceTime, meaning you were sitting in silence.

Was silence a bad thing? No

Was it somehow deafening? Yeah

Grabbing the remote you turned on the TV, quickly going to Netflix in an attempt to find something decent to watch.

Your watch list was full of horror movies and crime documentaries. Definitely not the best thing to watch on your own. There were a few suspense movies on there but none of them seemed to interest you.

Going to the movie section you passed almost every more option from horror to romance to action because nothing grabbed your attention or seemed interesting.

Going back to the home page you looked at the screen for a few minutes

Was it even worth putting something on? It was almost 3am after all.

Grabbing your phone you decided to scroll through Instagram.

After a few minutes bishop’s name appeared, taking over your screen with an incoming FaceTime.

Accepting the call you were immediately greeted with the site of his kutte, followed by him putting his helmet on. By the angle you could tell his phone was resting between his handlebars and the fuel tank.

"I take it you're still awake then" he wasn’t looking at the screen. Rather he was looking in the distance just above his phone

The background suddenly filled with the sound of bike engines. He seemed to say something but it was overpowered by bikes, so you didn't hear what he said. His bike wasn’t turned on yet because the phone wasn't vibrating.

Suddenly Bishop reached his arm out to someone just out of frame and you saw him lift upwards off the seat slightly, someone’s hand patted his shoulder blade.

By the look of the tattoo on the wrist you could tell it was Coco.

Looking away from your phone you looked back up at the TV. You could still hear engines coming from your phone but now it sounded like 3 of them.

Almost simultaneously they all revved before pulling off. The sound slowly faded out as they got further out the compound.

You were still looking at the TV, you decided to look at the top 10 of the day, maybe there was something good on there.

The Meg

Reading the description it actually seemed like a good movie. Putting it on you set the remote down and looked back at your phone

This time bishop wasn’t in the frame at all. Rather you could just see the length of his bike and the wall behind where it was parked.

Where did he go?

Your question was quickly answered when he picked up the phone.

By the sound of the wind you could tell he was jogging somewhere. The phone was at his side facing outwards, you could see him approaching the steps to the clubhouse. He quickly went up them and opened the door

"Prospect!" He shouted "make sure you lock up, I’m heading out"

You could hear Ez reply with a quick "okay" from somewhere in the back

He picked up his phone so you could see his face. unlike before, you took the time to actually take in his appearance 

His eyes looked tired, his beard was longer than it usually is, he looked...well, you couldn’t describe it. He just didn’t seem himself.

You were too busy looking at him to realize he asked you a question

"Y/n"

"What?"

"Did you not hear me?"

"Oh- no sorry I turned my volume down because of the bikes"

"Oh" he paused "I asked if your door was open"

You looked at the screen for a second

"What?"

He placed his phone back on the fuel tank and straddled his bike

"I said, is your door open. You know like your front door.....to your house" he repeated, grabbing his helmet, he must have taken it off while you were looking at the TV, once again he was fastening the buckle.

"No? Why?"

"Do you want to unlock it?" you could see him kick the stand of the bike up by the way his leg moved.

"Why?" You asked he looked at the screen for a few seconds before laughing at the way your face changed as you realized what he meant

"Obispo are you inviting yourself over once again?" You questioned

"Yep"

"What if I don't let you in?" You challenged. Of course you would let him in but sometimes it was fun to mess with him

"What if I climb through a window?" He said, pulling a cigarette out his pocket and lighting it

"Okay now that's just creepy" you laughed. He shook his head as he blew out the smoke from his lungs

"So? Can I come over or not?"

Looking around your front room you saw it was a little messy but you could easily clean it up within 5 minutes.

"Sure"

"See you in 20 querida" he winked as he started the bike before ending the call.

~

You finished cleaning the front room, kitchen and your bedroom up within 10 minutes

Checking the fridge you saw that there were only 4 beers left, taking a mental note to get more the next time you go shopping.

Sitting back on the sofa you realized you had missed around half of the movie.

Pointless watching it now

You knew by bishop coming over there was a good chance you two would be awake till 4am talking about random stuff and watching something on Netflix or playing some type of game.

You also knew he liked action movies so you went to that section in search of one that sounded entertaining 

The platform ~ that didn’t sound so bad right?

Watching the preview, you became interested and wanted to watch it, forget Bishop you can watch it on your own.

"The ones above, the ones below and the one before" the voice of a man came over your speakers, he sounded young but old simultaneously.

You had just got past the introduction when you heard the rumble of a bike in the distance. For a moment you wondered if it was off the TV but as it got louder you realized it was bishop.

Getting up from the sofa you walked towards the door.

You set your hand on the door handle for what seemed like hours as you waited for him to pull up outside. Did you normally meet him at the door? Nope. Most of the time he would invite himself over and just sit down on the sofa with you for hours.

Sometimes you two spoke the whole time he was over until you both went to bed, other times you would sit in a comfortable silence- just happy to me in one another's presence.

You heard the engine cut off just beyond the door. You counted to three before unlocking it, as you did you saw Bishop was parked on the curb, still sitting on his bike while setting the helmet on the handlebars. He was yet to notice you standing at the door.

Taking a cigarette out his pocket he turned towards the street, looking at the houses to see if your neighbor's were awake, you had no idea why he did it but every time he pulled up, whether it was in a car or on his bike he always seemed to look at the neighboring houses.

He lit the cigarette, back still turned to you as he looked down the street. Leaning against the door frame you looked him over you could see that his posture was slouched indicating he was tired, he still had one hand resting on the handlebars almost like he wasn't just looking down the street but also trying to crack his back. The other hand was on the cigarette in his mouth, even from the distance from the doorway to the curb where he parked. You could see his leg was bouncing and so was his hand slightly, now that definitely wasn't normal.

 As he exhaled the smoke he turned around towards your house, jumping slightly when he saw you standing at the door. He seemed to compose himself as he took the keys out of the bike and stood up, walking towards you, his head bowed slightly as he tossed the cigarette onto the food

“I hope you are going to pick that up” you said 

“I will” he looked up at you, he was just beyond the porch steps. His eyes looked tired, there were clearly bags underneath them. He was definitely tired- if you knew anything about him ,he probably hasn't slept for a few days, and if he did it was for a short time

“You look tired”

“So do you” he cracked a small smile, by now he was standing in front of you

“Maybe because someone woke me up at 2 in the morning then I had to deal with grown ass men asking me to bring them food then suddenly someone decided to invite themselves over?”

“In my defense i thought you were still awake and the children wasn't my fault” 

You laughed as you moved away from the door frame and towards the kitchen “just come i stupid before i lock you out”

“Ouch that's harsh” he put a hand over his heart “that insult really hurt” he walked threw the door and shut it behind him, hanging his kutte up on the coat hook in the hallway along with his jacket

“Stop being a wimp” 

You heard him move into the front room and sit on the couch.

“Want a beer?” you asked as you went in the fridge for another bottle of water

"Yeah- what's this?" He questioned

“What's what?”

”On the TV dumbass” 

Walking back into the front room you saw he had his hand behind his head, his phone was on the table along with his keys.

“Oh, the platform. It seemed interesting so I started watching and only someone distracted me” you said as you handed him the beer and sat on the sofa, leaving some space between you and him.

“What's it about?”

“Not too sure something along the lines of some type of prison system where the food is on a moving platform, I only just started it”

“Hmm” grabbing the remote he pressed play while sipping his beer.

You two sat in comfortable silence while watching the movie but every so often you would look over at bishop, partly to make sure he wasn't asleep and partly to see if he was okay.

Over the time span of 30 minutes you noticed he wasn't watching the movie, rather he was looking at the wall clearly spaced out somewhere in his own mind. He was sitting so his right elbow was on the arm rest and his right hand in his mustache, messing the hair lightly. He always did that when he was thinking about something. His other hand was resting in his lap holding the beer you gave him.

“Bishop?” you waited a few moments but he didn't respond “Bishop'' you repeated, still no reaction. Taking the beer from his hand you set it on the table, putting your hands on his cheeks you turned his face toward you “bishop”

“Hmm?” he finally looked at you. Removing your hands from his face you looked him in the eyes

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing” he said shaking his his head

“Don't lie to me” your tone came out harsher than you intended he raised his eyebrows at you

“sorry didn't mean to sound like i was being mean” you pulled away slightly with the intention of going back to where you originally sat but that idea was quickly thrown out the window when he grabbed your torso and practically picked you up, sitting you on his lap. He put his head in the space between your shoulder and neck while rubbing his hands down your back

“What's wrong Obispo?” you asked once again, putting your hand in his hair, playing with it slightly.

“I'm just stressed” his voice was muffled as he spoke into your shouder

“About?”

“Everything” he moved his head so he was looking up at you “the stuff with Marcus leaving, the mc as a whole with the guys turning against each other ,all the shit going on with other clubs. Everything is just a mess and it's stressing me out” he explained. You kept on hand playing with his hair while the other went to his cheek

“Can you do anything about it?” you asked, he cocked his head to the side slightly clearly not understanding what you meant ”can you do anything about that stuff?” he looked at you for a moment before shrugging his shoulders

you continued “Marcus made his own mind up, you can't do anything there. The mc always sorts itself out, members fight, it's normal, you of all people should know what.” you explained while using your thumb trace the lines across his face caused by the lack of sleep

“Yeah, i guess you're right” he leaned up and kissed you softly “I have to say, I'm a president of a fucking mc and yet your smarter then me”

“I'm not smarter than you, I just look at what's happening and think about in the moment, where as you” you poked his chest lightly “ seem to think its a good idea to overthink stuff and look at consequences a year in advance that will probably never happen” He hummed in response before putting his head back into your neck

“Can i ask you something?” you asked

“You just did”

“Very funny” you moved to get out of his lap but was quickie pulled back down

“What was the question?”

”What the hell was in the duffle bag? coco sent me the video them trying to get it and it seemed like they really wanted it”

“Oh” bishop almost immediately started laughing to the point his whole body shook and his head was thrown back.

“Tell me stoopid” you slapped his chest slightly, playing with his shirt

“Well you see- me and Ez thought it would be funny to lock it in a car that needed scraping while they were getting high and then tell them the doors didn't work to see how long it would take for them to it but Gilly ended up pushing it from the front by the fighting cage to the garage” he managed to get out

“That didn't answer my-”

“Just wait” he cut you off “neither me or Ez knew what was in it but those three are too stupid to just break a window so they were attempting to get it for a good 20 minutes before Ez opened the door and got it out” he explained still laughing slightly “turn out it was just full of junk food and snacks they brought to eat once they get hungry later ”

“You two are evil”

“No we was having fun” he laughed

“Evil”

Just as bishop was about the respond his phone started to ring, you moved out his lap and sat back on the couch while he get up and went out the back to answer it.

looking at the tv you realized the film wasn't interesting you at all. Grabbing you phone you saw you had a snap from coco and one from angel 

what did they do now?

opening the app you clicked on to yours and Angels chat only to find a simple text

“if coco send you a video, delete it”

what?

“why” you replied before swiping off the chat and going onto Coco's. inevitably you where present with a video and a chat 

“Pease, please watch this it will be the best favor you ever do for me 🙏🏽”

your curiosity got the better of you, clicking on the video you immediately recognized the place.it was Angels front room. Gilly was chuckling lowkey behind the camera while coco was next to the door on a stool with a bucket in his hands while laughing. The camera panned down to show Gilly holding a bag of flour, now you could only assume that the bucket was full of water 

surely this couldn't end good

within a few seconds the door opened and angel walked in, coco immediately reacted throwing the contents of the bucket on top of his head while Gilly threw the flour over him.

Angel immediately froze, his face going into a startled expression followed by on of anger. Shutting the door behind him he shook of the excess flour before locking the door.

Gilly and Coco where in hysterics as Angel turned towards Coco and lunged for him, coco had a quick reaction and ran towards the backdoor , only to find it locked 

“fuck” he cursed looking for ways to escape, looking at the kitchen window he seemed to weight out his chances. by now Angels attention had gone towards Gilly who was still stood in the same place laughing. Angel lunged for him, tackling him to the ground while coco grab the phone from Gillys hand and made a run for the kitchen.

There was a lot of laughing from Gilly and shuffling in the background along with Angel cussing him out , then there was a bunch of laughing from them both of them but you could make out Angel saying “you think that shits funny huh?” “watch me key your bike” “ I'm gonna get you back so hard man

suddenly the phone was tossed out the kitchen window, shortly after you could see coco's head and body slowly emerging from the kitchen window. after a few seconds he finally managed to crawl out. picking up the phone he began to jog down the front yard 

“ha bitchesss I'm freeeee!”he exclaimed “the one time being skinny pays off”

in the background you hear a door unlock followed by Angel shouting “run bitch cuz I'm fucking coming for you”

then the video cut off

you where sat on the sofa crying from laughing so hard you quickly saved the video and texted coco back

“that is the best thing I've seen in months😂”

just as you started to calm down you started to hear bishop laughing from outside the backdoor. almost imminently he walked threw the back door in hysterics 

“did you-did you see-” he could barely talk in-between laughing 

“did i see the video?” 

“yeah”

“yes i saw it” you laughed

taking his phone he turned it towards you, it was a FaceTime from angel covered in flour, his beard was a littler of loose flour and a clumpy mess of flour and water. you couldn't help by laugh at his serious expression

“not funny y/n” he said clearly angry. in the background you could hear Coco and Gilly laughing

“you watched the video didn't you” it wasn't a question rather a statement 

“yeah” you replied still laughing 

“fuck sakeeee” suddenly he cut the call of cause both you and bishop to laugh even harder

~~~~~~~~

so yh this was men to be a fluff with bishop but i got distracted and it just kind of turned into the start of a prank war between Coco, Angle and Gilly.

[bigmafluff]

My Story Chapt.1 & 2

My

Story!

The Ultimate Fan fiction/Love story! Tom Hiddleston,

This is fiction it is not real I'm not this lucky! 

family!Courage ! Faith! And Kids! This book is a new life after parenthood. It is my new journey. And a not so guilty obsession. Thanks for reading!

Summary.

What happens When a Single Mom Who Has devoted her Soul to her Family. receives her Empty nest papers . That the world said she would never have. Hi I'm Shannon ! I'm a writer  well I want to be . Need a Publisher first.  Where are the Best . In the U.K. Didn't count on Love too. Come find out what happened. It's a great adventure.

Chapter 1

A shocking encounter.

{I want to break free. By Queen, Hello By Lionel Richie, and I can't feel my my face. By the weekend}

FREEDOM!

A new Beginning ! Yup something I thought this would never have. You see I'm a Autism Mom and helped my sis raise her 2 kid when she couldn't by herself. I was One of those mom's that where told That .I was gonna be Raising my Son Lucas all my life. Well God and Lucas had other plans. I'm So Dang Proud!!!!!! So Kids grown. Lucas has an Aide, A Job as a Mechanic/Car dealer back Home . I think the mechanic stuff is his hobbies cause My Lucas Love's to tinker. My Nephew is working for NASA/ and Microsoft which I also think

NASA thing is the hobbies . As I said Tinker Just smaller. Now My Niece Katrina . She Is my Butterfly . Totally out side the box, 4 tour's In the Navy. She's A Young Mama and A News Caster In Little Rock, Arkansas, USA. Here's the twist Her and Her kids do Video's on YouTube for fun.

Enough about My Babies. Writing was not the only reason to Go across the Pond to America's Father land. I had recently gone through several Surgeries to fix my body after losing a extreme amount of weight from a Lifetime of Issues with my weight. 2 charities offer to help me finish that Journey but the only Plastic Surgeon willing to touch me Is at Oxford University Hospital. So Here I Go A Strange women in a strange land .

So When I was all of sudden a Empty nest . I was struck with something I haven't thought bout sense childhood . What do I do when I grow up! LOL !! So I hit my bucket List and started @ the 2 Largest and hardest things to accomplish on that list . Fix my body and Write! . So College to get my literary degree. While Extreme Yoga, Running , lil' bit of Martial art's and Lessons In all form's of skating! [Skating Hobby AKA on DA list!] God, family, and Music Made it all worth it and surprisingly easy! Dream's come when your are working hard and not Looking for it. These are one of those.

Now I'm in a UK/London Airport bundled up with 3 List's and a map on my phone .Braving the unknown, Trying to find DA Baggage claim and Customs in the rather Large Heathrow Airport . Dang!!!! it was noisy! Honestly I wasn't even paying no attention to were I was going. I was just Focused on Trying hard to get out of this busy packed Building ,Stress &Anxiety times 10!!!!!

while heading to Customs Dragging 2 rolling cases and Large tote on my shoulder. I'm walking past a group of screaming women and teens along with flashing lights from camera's Butt I was determined to stay focused on Why I'm in a hurry. I hit something head on and drop to the ground my tote spill and it was like hitting a wall and all of a sudden all the noise stopped. I don't care who says other wise, British and Aussie Ascent's are smooth and sexy and butter! The are several men in the U.K. That send my fan girl hormones into Overload. But only 3 are Single Tom Hiddleston, Henry Cavill, and Luke Evan's.

Now Tom Hiddleston is epic. Stage, screen, voice, He is it. He is melt worthy . Hint's the screamers! 6/2 160 Stormy blue eyes , He's strutting the Black dye job for a movie he just finished he is a naturally curly blonde. I'm a sucker For men's curls no Joke. Pure Killer Eye Candy !!!!!

As I try to pick my things up and apologize I see a hand also picking up my things . He touched my hand and I look up and see those wonderful blue's I start to shake to nervous to talk . I shake my head and Just finish picking up my things . I don't have time for this and I don't want to have a fainting spell from nerves it this Airport. So keeping my head down I stand . Say Thank you and Apologize again for slamming into the man and Leave before he says anything.

One hour Later!!!!!

I made it to my hotel via Uber. I changed , called family especially Lucas my Captain America. I ordered pizza {Yes ! there is Pizza in the U.K."} And was going thru everything and found my Chromebook! But my Ticket receipt and my Night Manager Novel is missing . Well that sucks 'I'm hoping I can get home on the stub. I wasn't as mad about the receipt as I was about my Book. I Just bought it. Before I left I had watched the series With my sister. She said that I had to read

the book to get the full experience. I only just got past the 2nd chapter when I landed. Anyways I was laying down and working on the next book in my children's book arsenal. When I must of passed out . Cause I woke to The ringing of my phone.

I go to answer it .Noticing it was already morning. A very groggy Lucas Wishes Mama a good morning and goodnight due to the time difference. After 45minutes for trying to tell my son I am OK and he needed to go to bed. I was finally able to shower and get ready for my day. I decided to stay and write today so my body can adjust before I go rampaging thru London looking for a publisher. I got half way thru Luca 's day in wonderland when I git a knock at My room door.

I open The door and there he is again invading my Life and charging hormones I thought long dead. Thomas William Hiddleston and he was holding my book with the receipt sticking out of it and a white rose . I'm thinking DA rose was a sign of peace. I'm standing there speechless. I think He realized I was a little Star struck so he helped me Back in to my room . Sat me down and brought me the water bottle I had on my Nightstand . I took a sip and Shook My self out of the fog I was in.

I begin to stutter and When he put His Finger over my lips. He then Said " Calm yourself Girl then we have Us a chat Yes? Where is the Tea around here ,or do you drink it" . All I could do is point to the Mini fridge. Curiously He Looks in the fridge . Then I remembered The English drink it hot . Then I said Finally calmed enough to be clear.

" Stop ! Look above it next to the coffee pot. I drink my Tea cold. I'm sorry! I think the stuff you want is in the Lil' treasure box next to The pot Sir. After a Little while Mr. Hiddleston And I Had interesting Chat . Yes we did. Basically This very conceded ,Arrogant , But Knock-out Gorgeous Man. Basically Had to find me Just because I didn't ask his name or for selfie or any thing. Honestly I think he was Just messing with me cause He Saw My Funko babies on the coffee table . Yes! There were a couple of His there.

He asked what I was doing here In his Home Across the pond. I showed him my stories on my Chromebook. Hey I was thinking he might be able to help me. I told him I was looking for a publisher . I also told him I was Do to have surgery I a couple of weeks, while I was here at the University Hospital. Hey When I get nervous thing's just spew I can't help it. So I told Him all of It Right down to my sudden empty nest. All while he read one of my Stories and nodding. He is in the middle of, Luca and The Golden Lion.

Thomas asked me some Questions about the story. I asked him some to. We bantered and I was surprisingly calm and comfy just chatting along. No longer nervous or anxious . We had been talking for hours . Tom was getting ready to leave . He handed me my book then held my hand there then whispered in my ear making me shiver." Still no selfie , no autograph, or Scream, Well Mrs. Jones. I would say You weren't a fan except for your greeting. So what is a Guy to do to get your attention. We will find out won't we, Till I see you again my Lady." I closed the door behind him as he left. Then promptly passed out right therein front of the door. Life just got interesting !

Chapter 2

Career Change Wow!

[Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the waves, Hay YA by OutKast, High hopes By Panic at the disco.]

I woke the next morning to sunshine and birdsong. It must be a sign I am on the right track. So Coffee a Shower and breakfast burrito's at McDonald's, and I'm out in London . I'm Publisher hunting. I had a call from the Hospital about my per-opp appointment for surgery. That is in a few day's. So Little nervous about that . As I walk into my first office building then I Stop in the lobby when my phone rings.

It was a local # so I answered . It was a Guy named Luke Parsons He is a free lance publisher that heard about my stories. I was shocked how did he hear about me. He asked if we could meet at his office at 3pm. I agreed,he gave me the address and hung up. I went in to the build kinda stoked . I figure I try all my options. So through out the day I went to many publishing companies all saying the same which pissed me off to no end. But did I show it NO. Just because I'm American they won't even Look at them. I couldn't even eat . I grabbed a Juice @ a convenience store, then went back to my hotel to change. I needed time to find this place for my 3:00 meeting with Mr. parsons and I want to make a good impression since I was rejected so many other times today.

So I decided to call a Uber because I felt I had been walking all day and needed a small break . When we Pulled up to the Building and guess who was standing there with a smart ass smile on his face! Yup! Tom was opening my door after paying the driver , which I didn't expect. He grabs My hand and kisses my palm. Honestly why is a guy like him even paying me any attention . I'm not the tiny,skinny little thing that he is normally with and I don't act or sing. It's frustrating and exhilarating at the same time. GOD HELP ME!!! I told my self.

I asked Tom what he was doing here and then everything clicked. He told Mr. Parson's about me. When I asked how he knew Mr. Parsons. Tom told me that Luke was a Publicist by trade but had a small publishing company on the side as a hobby. So not letting go of my hand Thomas took me inside to meet Luke. Tom stayed in the waiting room as I went into Luke's office. He didn't have a huge office, but it was still dark and intimidating. The tall blonde man in the gray suit, stood and shook my hand . And I sat in the chair across from his desk. when I was going to speak. But he straight shut mt up with a finger. He started Hounding me about Tom. Ii became Anxious and when that happens I Babble and stutter badly. I spilled everything from my weight to the confrontation @ my hotel. By that point I am crying and Thomas came in and took one look at me and Was about to give Luke the business when Luke stopped him Saying He needed to Gage my character. Do to the fact that Thomas was one of his most prominent Clients. I relaxed cause Tom did. And Luke apologized .

When all was calmed. Tom pulled a chair next to me. He told me to go ahead and give Luke my flash drive with my book copies on it . All while holding my hand and rubbing my back . I have to admit I had a small smile on my face cause I was feeling @ peace with TWH sitting and pampering me. It was nice. Mr. Parsons plugged my flash drive into his desk top. While telling me to call him Luke. He said regardless if he likes mysteries or not He is probably gonna see a lot of me because he was Tom's Publicist. I am not giving any weight to that remark not yet .AHAHAH!!!! As Luke was reading Tommy and I were talking and Honestly I needed to get a lot of my frustration's off my chest .Unfortunately Thomas was my victim , willing I might add considering he was grinning the whole time.

Once I was done giving the 3rd degree to Tommy. He squeezed my hand then answered." Well Shannon. I have been in this business for a while now and out of all my so called fans. I never had one Ignore me! They'll always wanted something from me. A picture, to Kneel,autograph,selfie,hug,any attention I would give they sucked it from me. But when you ran into me at the airport. The funko toy's spilling from your bag told me your were a fan and I saw your face you recognized me, I heard you breath hitch. Yet you said sorry and left. No selfie, No nothing. It intrigued me so much I had Luke here who was with me that day check you out using the stub and book with your name and address in America in it . Which also gave me more proof you were a fan." as he continues to explain I look at him in awe he has no clue how bad I want to fan girl and ask for all those things but my heart may be with him but my mind is on what Luke is doing because Luke has my future in his hands.

Back to Tom's explanation." Shannon I came to your room Just to give a fan a gift. On my way to my Mother's for lunch. I ended up canceling lunch when you froze on me. Then I was so humbled by your nervousness. Dearling ." He says as he caresses my face ,raising Luke's eyebrows he is reading. Tom finally finishes with," As I was leaving your room I knew I had to know you more and since you were Looking for someone to help you get your stories read I talked to Luke about it and he was happy to get a new client especially one not for the public business but for His hobby. Now that I explained everything Love turn and listen to Luke I think he has something to say."

That caught my attention. I shook off the haze from listening to Tom . Turned my head to see a smiling almost ecstatic Luke. Looking at us. Then retold me he loved my stories. He said the fan-fix he even might know someone who might want to turn it into a play with the right circumstances. The other 2 he wanted to know if this is a story arc Like the old Harry Potter Series going on cause he could make it happen if there was gonna be more. He also asked about the Illustration in the stories.

I answered him promptly,about Luca and his daydreams and how they relate to my son who is Autistic and who also did the pictures for my stories Neither of them realized I was a mother . Which took both by surprise. Luke asked if I was married . OMG ! Would I have let Tom flirt with me if I was. Yes ! I would have, But I told Luke the truth I have been separated and divorced. For many years. And my Son is almost 30. that floored Tom ! I guess he thought is was younger Ha! Wait till he finds out I'm 2 years older than him. Dang straight! Cougar Power !

Now I get excited when Luke pulls a rather large group of paper's out of his desk. And writes on them. The put's them in front of me and explains. "Now Shannon can I call you that . Of course I can!" I just nod quietly." Well Shannon this is a contact for exclusivity. So anything you write is published through our Publishing company. So any fan based Fiction, Lucas stories all of it Go through us. Do you understand that Shannon?" I nod in understanding. He continues, "I am going to pay you up front for the 3 stories you have now plus signing bonus. Although only 2 are guaranteed to hit book shelves very Quickly.

Also I am Also going out of my way and despite conflict of interest with Tom I going to take you on to navigate your public appearance as well. You will need that for book signing's and such. I will also make sure Lucas gets paid for all his pictures and any future picture's for your book's. Now one last thing that may help ease your mind a bit Shannon. Tom Has nothing to do with this contract or the merit of your stories. It was just a lucky shot for both of us that He was the one you ran into in the Airport and that he knew what Me and a few friends do in our spare time. Helping Storytellers get their stories read when no one else would is what we at Parsonage publishing are here to do most the commissions I'll receive for your book go to the Literacy foundation here in the U.K. Which is 5% but I also am taking10% for my Public work. But you won't even need to worry Shannon. I'm prepared to make you a very Popular and rich woman."

Honestly I am froze I did not think Lucas's and My stories would be this popular. Especially on there own merit. I'm speechless! Until Thomas starts shaking me to get my attention. I Turn, Tom point's to Luke. I turn and Luke asks? " Shannon Darling did you get all of it or do I need to repeat any of it?" I tell Luke as I take a look at the contraction front of me. Tom still holding my hand and I am thankful for the support. I got it surprisingly knew what the whole Author gig entails so to have Luke help me with both sides of that is a life saver, but I still have one or two questions.

" OK Luke ! I got most of it I am just got a couple questions? 1st Are you sure about the Public side I can find another if it helps your piece of mind. Also Are you sure my little stories are gonna get that popular and Last if so who has a pen. To my shock and tears. He answered all my question reassuring me of his sincerity and excitement .He also gave me a pen to sign my first almost million $Contract. I was so giddy . Luke asked for my main info like email ,cell, direct deposit > I just realized I'm not a disabled parent anymore. I am A writer/Author ,gainfully employed . I am crying Laughing and falling off my chair taking Tom with me.

While Luke gets me copy of my contract I had just signed . Tom Kisses my palm then he was kissing the my forehead. Then He shocks me by looking me straight in the eyes , Blue on Blue then asking out to Dinner tonight. WAS THIS A DATE!!!!!!????????????????

[espship18]

Kpop ship for Soo Anon

Hey y’all! I got a bunch of school work done and decided to take some time to write! Today’s ship is for an anon who goes by Soo! I hope you’re out there Soo anon, and I hope you like it!

Based off of your request I learned these things about you: 

You’re a major introvert

But you love to give and receive affection if you love me i will love you back ps that goes for anyone, i’m a lover

Can be cold at first glance, but actually sensitive and insecure 

Enjoying cooking and caring for others 

You’re also the fearless leader and dad of the friend group i love that

And in your request, you asked to be shipped with BTS, NCT, and Pentagon! I’m excited, LET’S GO!!

BTS: Yoongi

Okay, so my shipping senses tell me that you two would be a power couple! I thing you and Yoongi counter act each other quite well, so there’s always harmony between you two! why do I sound like a psychic? When I think of how you two would meet, I think Yoongi would be attracted to your demure personality. I don’t think he would want to pry you open like a paint can and learn everything about you immediately, but he would be drawn into you, interested to know more and see if you’re always that shy around people. And trust me, as soon as Yoongi would see your sensitive and shy side, Yoongi would bulk up on protective juice and he’d wanna watch over you and protect you from anything and everything in this world(honestly a whole sweetie!)! There’s always a state of Zen between you two, and just because Yoongi wants to protect you, don’t mean he’s gonna smother you and not let you have a life unless you’re into that, then that’s okay! As someone who knows what it’s like to carry personal burdens and insecurities within himself, I feel like Yoongi would pay the most attention to your insecurities and help you overcome your struggles so you feel great about yourself and have a clear mind. You also return the favor by taking care of Yoongi. You work with the fellow BTS members to get him to take breaks, or if comeback season is around, to take time for himself- eat, take some naps- OH MY GOD L I ST E N. You’re the queen of surprises! Okay, okay, after you’d see how Yoongi works near comeback season, you would want to help make his work space more livable and comfortable(also hoping to give him more inspiration)! You’d get little blankets and all kinds of fuzzies, essential oil infusers, the freaking works, dude! Yoongs of course would love it, and to be honest, he wouldn’t realize how much he would need you for stress relief. I love needy Yoongi, I don’t know about you, but omg, do NOT be surprised if you’re cuddling him and he wants extra snuggles! You would have more spontaneous and non-traditional date nights. I think if you two would bake for date nights that would be hilarious. Yoongi suddenly has two left hands and he can not properly execute the steps-and here y’all thought Joon was bad, lol. PDA. P.D.A! I know Yoongi is already a soft boy, but prepare for the softest Yoongs ever! He’s definitely more snuggly in private, but don’t be surprised if Yoongi eagerly tries to hold and keep your hand held in public, as well as stealing all kinds of kissies! 

NCT: Xiaojun

So, when I do NCT ships, I randomly select between the four units, and WayV happened to be the unit, I hope you don’t mind! I really really like you and Xiao together! When I think of you two, I see harmony and balance, and I get chameleon vibes. Of course I don’t mean the bug eyed reptiles, but you and Xiao would really blend nicely together! Since I mentioned you having a more demure type of personality, I would like to make a little point on you and Xiao based off of looks. I LOVE the idea of you and Xiao looking like one of those stoic couples you see in a store. I mean let’s face it, Xiaojun’s eyebrows make him look intimidating. Then when you’re normally shy and there’s some PDA here and there, you’re in a comfortable position. But when you two get home, OMG you TWO ARE THE CUTEST BUBS WHO EVER WALKED THE EARTH AND I L O V E! You can really feed off of each other, and I’ll elaborate further as we go along! In the relationship, I honestly like to think that Xiao’s hyper personality will help you blossom in the relationship. It’s gonna be hard not to see him being a clumsy goof and not help but fall in love, ya know? Xiao definitely is your little happy bug, and he will always take care of you. I also know that Xiao is going to be head over heels in love with you. You wanna know how I know? Xiao is the type of boyfriend that if you two were just chillin out on the couch, if you were to bling, I shit you not dude, this boy would start going on a tangent, lasting TWO HOURS on how much he loves your eyelashes, adores your eyes, and how you’re one of the prettiest persons he’s ever met. You mentioned insecurities with this lad as your man? Try again, sis! Date nights with Xiao are always surrounded by food. You have options: take out, going out, cooking- options. Another part of date night for you two would be movies. In my real life, I live in a small town, and lemme tell you and underrated part of a movie date: getting something to eat afterwards! I can not tell you how much fun it is to go to a little restaurant or drive thru and just eating in a nearby parking lot. You also get to talk about how good(or bad) the movie was, and evaluate the characters and talk about the ‘what ifs’ too! Lastly, PDA with this sweetheart is hugs, hugs, and more hugs! I can confidently say be prepared to get yeeted into that brick wall because Xiao is a hugger! He also loves to give you forehead kisses, as well as whisper sweet nothings in your ear! *heart eyes*  

Pentagon: Hongseok 

Last and certainly not least, is Pentagon! I honestly knew this was gonna be a no brainer, I really enjoy the thought of you two together! Having a caring and compassionate counter part like Hongseok is exactly what the doctor ordered! You two are a very loving and caring couple for one another, and you’re definitely one of those couples where your significant other makes up in spots where you’re not the best in- which is of course a good thing because you thrive so much as a couple! You’re more of a quiet couple, which is so sweet! You two aren’t super hyper and go lucky, which leaves you to having more somber and chill moments, which sometimes there will always be this comfortable silence while you’re snuggling up together and it’s very sweet. Very much when actions are stronger than words! Then sense you tend to be more to yourself, I can defo see you being one of the more observant ones. Which by the way, when I mention things like this, you two have amazing communication and you are treated and cared for like a princess- don’t ever get it twisted! And since you are observant, you like to take in new activities for you and Hongseok to try, to which you also get involved in a lot of Hongseok’s activities as well! You two are definitely a cooking couple- don’t doubt that or a minute! It’d be so cute if you two did meal preps, and you’ll draw little pictures and little love letters on the Tupperware containers in the morning before you slip it into each others bags. I also wanna say, that you are Hongseok’s little flower and he will take care of you and literally treat you like a queen. Hongseok CHUGS respect women juice, and be prepared for his mannerisms to make you blush. Don’t be surprised if he lays one of this favorite jackets on the ground so you can step over a puddle- he’s romantic like that I guess ;) And when you two feel spontaneous to go out and have fun, Hongseok always has this smile and loving look in his eyes. I wish you could see it through my eyes, but seeing Hongseok being a love sick puppy for you is such a visual. Date nights are his specialty. He loves to pamper you and make date nights intimate. He’ll kick everyone out, it’d be so cute if he even bought a do not disturb door hanging thing to make sure no one comes in. Heh, sometimes you’ll get an eyebrow wiggle from Kino, but legit all you do is snuggle and sometimes play video games! PDA, so sweet! Hongseok will snuggle you anywhere and everywhere, he loved to hold your hand too! And he’ll even rub this thumb on the top of your hand and it’s honestly precious!! 

~STA

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you’ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

OR

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

Couples Costumes

So Halloween snuck up on me this year because it’s fucking tomorrow and I kinda forgot about it with all the things on the news. I had a handful of Halloween related posts that I wanted to post and while I managed to get a few done, the ones that require some photoshop work are still on my ‘To Do List’. Clearly, I went a little overboard with my post here posting 45 Halloween Costumes above (I am counting the classic Batman Costumes and the Wayne/Garth pics as just two costumes, so yes my math is sound).

I WAS planning to do a Velma/Shaggy or Salt/Snail costume with my S.O. but I am remarkably alone yet again, woe is me and my pity party. ^_^ Not being a downer, I promise. *Slaps Cheeks* Back on topic, Michael! You're rambling again. Yeah so here is a list of costumes. I might make another list next year but let's be honest the best couples costumes will be on this post. If you have your ideas/suggests I love to hear/see them in the notes.

Cartoons

Ash & Misty (Pokemon) - Kind of a classic costume these days as they are both iconic. Who wouldn't want to see their girlfriend in some jean shorts tiny yellow tank top? Misty can be switched out for sexy Pikachu.

Bob & Louise (Bob’s Burgers) - Lots of great characters in the show but none better than Bob and Louise (sorry Tina fans). This would be a fun outfit to host a party and cook burgers. Just a thought.

Birdman & Birdgirl (Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law) - Fun costume for Adult Swim lovers. I love for my girlfriend to do that inner monologue out in the open the way Birdgirl does. I could also switch Harvey out for Phil because “Ha Ha Naughty”. 

Max & Roxanne (Goofy Movie) - Simple costume with some paint on the nose and select clothes. I suspect only the 80′s thru 90′s kids would make the connection but the Z Generation has proved me wrong before.

Wanda & Cosmo (Fairly Oddparents) - Not my favorite costume set but one that would be fun if we had a kid who we were fairy godparents too.

Curious Georgia & Man in the Yellow Hat (Curious George) - This is all the excuse you need to jump on my back or my front or my bed. 

Alice & The White Rabbit (Alice in Wonderland) - Alice in Wonderland has lots of males to dress up as between the March Hare, White Rabbit, Mad Hatter and more. I am sure you girls like options.

Lilo & Stitch (Lilo & Stitch) - If I had four arms the sexy stuff we would do in bed but I don't sadly. However, I can make a great stitch voice not that a cartoon voice does much for you.

Jack Skellington & Sally (Nightmare Before Christmas) - I might be too broad shouldered for this sort of couples costume but if my partner is willing I am game. 

Mavis & Jonathan (Hotel Transylvania) - Mavis is perhaps a little to cute. I mean kind of a strange crush on a little vampire girl, so yeah I am not against someone cosplaying her for me.

Nick Wilde & Judy Hopps (Zootopia) - A little bit anthropomorphizing of Nick and Judy but they got good chemistry and so do we.

Spinelli & T.J. (Recess) - Not to take an innocent toon in a wrong direction but you know they probably smoked weed in high school together and T.J. convinces her to wear a dress for prom but no doubt still has her boots on. They make a cute couple to say the least.

Finn & Fionna (Adventure Time) - Heroes of Adventure Time! Sadly (not really sad about that) I am not blonde but we can always up on some 

Velma & Shaggy (Scooby Doo) - Yet another cartoon crush. I like a nerd and a little thick Velma.

Fred & Wilma (The Flintstones)  - Costumes are epic enough being basically caveman tunics. I can get behind this costume more if we had a Pebbles or Bam Bam to take out trick or treating.

Movies

Black Widow & Captain America (Avengers) - If I could afford it I would be Stark. If my hair was longer I would be Thor. Perhaps Hawkeye would be a better pairing. Regardless Black Widow is a woman among many men. This means you get your pick of which hero I dress up as.

Sam & Suzy (Sunrise Kingdom) - Kind of a hipster approach towards Halloween but sometimes being a nitch audience is ok.

Max & Furiosa (Mad Max) - If my girlfriend had a buzzed head, (for whatever reason that was) Mad Max would be an awesome costume to do together.

Mask & Tina Carlyle (The Mask) - I am a big Jim Carry fan so any excuse to dress up as his characters is a win. Camren Diaz was also smoking hot in this film.

Ash & Sheila (Army of Darkness) - Ash is pretty badass and the number 1 reason to dress as him is to have a chainsaw on your hand and double barrel shotgun on your back.

Dorthy & Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz) - I can also be a Tinman or Lion for your pleasure. That and you can be a green witch... no, I think prefer Dorthy.

Mary Poppins & Bert (Mary Poppins) - This costume would be so much better if I could sing or dance but I can't so I won't.

Aragorn & Arwen (Lord of the Rings) - If I find a woman into the Lord of the Rings (and Game of Thrones) she might be a keeper.

Harry Potter & Hermione Granger (Harry Potter) - Am I the only one who is upset Harry didn't hook up with Hermione? Am I the only one upset Emma Watson didn't hook up with me? Am I rambling? Should I shut up now?

Peter & Gamora (Guardians of the Galaxy) - Might easily be my favorite couple in the MCU. Gonna be a long night painting my girlfriend green.

Beetlejuice & Miss Argentina (Beetlejuice) - Again painting the girlfriend green and myself white! I suppose you could be Lydia and I can actually do a great impression of Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice.

Morticia & Gomez Addams (The Addams Family) - I would pay Thing if I could but sadly I can not disembody may hand and have it run around. I will have to settle for Gomez but your free to pick between Morticia or Wednesday. 

Wayne & Garth (Waynes World) - Playing to males? Meh sure. I loved this movie and I don't mind some cross-dressing for my partner. Just gonna be weird when Wayne makes out with Garth.

Shows

Burt Macklin & Janet Snakehole (Parks and Rec) - I am a special agent on a mission and your a wealthy widow with a secret. Only Parks and Recs fans will get this and that's just fucking great. Two rules though we don't break character and if I find a Johnny Karate, I must fight him.

Dexter Morgan & Hannah McKay (Dexter) - Might have been one of the hottest love scenes in a TV show ever. This costume works well with the plastic wrap and doubly fun to take it off you later.

Eleven & Mike (Stranger Things) - Pretty adorable couple on screen. Not sure about Season 2′s ‘rebel’ storyline in the city but still awesome all the same. I can't wait for season 3.

Batgirl/Catwoman & Batman (Batman Show) - I’m Batman. *Coughs* I mean I am dressed as Batman. The 1960′s Batman costume were simple but fun. Woman didnt look bad at all in their costumes either.

Daredevil & Electra (Daredevil) - I may keep it simple with the black mask and black shirt combo over the body armor. The good thing about those Marvel shows is the outfits are basic as hell.

William Riker & Deanna Troi (Star Trek) - Loved the TNG. Loved Star Trek. Can't go wrong with simple clothes and the Starfleet badge.

Comics/Video Games

Wonder Woman & Superman (DC Comics) - Open to interpretation about which Superman or Wonderwoman we are dressing up as. I have to admit the Wonder Woman movie costume was awesome. 

Batman & Catwoman (DC Comics) - Few romances have ever been so ‘Cat and Mouse’ or rather ‘Bat and Cat’ than that of Batman and Catwoman. The skin-tight body suit and whip make Catwoman all that much alluring. You can decide if you want to go TV show, Cartoon, Comics, Video Game or Movie versions of Selena Kyle.

Rogue & Gambit (Marvel Comics) - A man with deep love and a woman who can never be touched by him (at least skin to skin). This is some Shakespeare level tragedy for this lovely duo.

Spiderman & Black Cat (Marvel Comics) - What can I say its the costume on Black Cat... 

Link & Zelda (Legend of Zelda) - I am totally open to also as playing as Ganon if you want me to capture you and tie you down to the bed. 

Misc

Mimes - A whole day of not talking to one another and miming shit out?! Sounds horrible lets just talk in private when no one is looking.

Fireman & Dalmation Girl - Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? You are! Yes you are!

Little Red & Big Bad Wolf - I won't lie 90% of the reason this costume works is that it leads to sexy time in the bedroom.

Waldo & Wanda - We go to Good Will, buy a bunch of random junk. Write Property of Waldo on it and leave it around the neighborhood all night long. We can set up a Waldo themed house so people can bring items back to us.

Snail & Salt Shaker - Oh ho ho am I clever? Probably not someone has been bound to make a costume like this before. I think it be fun for you to avoid me the whole part as I walk around as a Salt Shaker.

Frankenstein & Bride of Frankenstein - Classic movie costume and its really all about the hair for the bride. I can imagine this being a big hit with the kids and fun for a monster movie night.

Regards Michael California

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so. most of the day was fairly boring lol as expected but tonight of course was super awesome. I had set a 1 pm wake up if you’re not already awake alarm but I ended up waking up to my phone buzzing right at 11 am, it was a Chicago number so I answered and chatted with this guy from this legal company that does boring shit like document review and is doing like part time temporary hiring projects, which would obviously be a short term fix as I’m still looking for full time employment, but they pay like $20 an hour (and you don’t technically have to be licensed for some of their stuff, so being that I am licensed I miiiiiight get to do some more intense stuff for more pay? Idk, have to see) so I have an 11 am Skype interview scheduled with them for tomorrow morning to chat about that stuff. I’m obviously not like dying to get this job or anything but it’d be nice to have some income while I’m still looking, like if I did like 15-20 hours a week that’s $300-$400 so that’s not insignificant. I’m just gonna be super upfront with them about the fact that I’m seeking permanent employment and if I start anything with them there is a solid chance I will up and leave with fairly short notice, and if they’re not okay with that then we won’t do it, but I get the feeling since a lot of their shit is short term they’ll probably be okay with it. So after I got off that phone call I looked up the number for Ulta and called them to push back my haircut appointment which was booked for 12, I was trying to do think if there was somewhere I could plant myself downtown and do a Skype interview to then just run to the appointment but I obviously don’t want to do like, starbucks, and beyond trying to sneak into my old student org office at school (that’s no longer mine obviously) there’s not very many options, so I was hoping we could just push the haircut back a bit till like 2 and she happened to have an opening then so that was perfect because she gets booked up fairly consistently, so I lucked out there. After that I was lazy and went on my phone for a bit before getting up and going on my laptop at the kitchen table while I ate breakfast and then eventually moved over to the couch and was just listening to podcasts while on my computer for a while, then ended up watching the pilot of the new amazon prime show “Hanna” that’s not actually premiering to March but they were making the pilot available for like 24 hours after the superbowl for some reason and I was fairly intrigued by that (I never did actually see the movie its based on) and it was okay I guess? I wasn’t like super enthralled in it but I may give it a try for a few episodes when it comes out. The main actress is pretty good, but she’s a lot older than I thought she was (she actually turns 19 like, today) when I thought she was more like 13 or 14. and she’s apparently not been in much of anything up to this point, so good for her. After that I just turned the tv off and listened to more Panic music since I downloaded a bunch last night on top of what I downloaded after the concert last week so I could be more familiar with that while doing some computer stuff and trying to get some more Batwoman comic reading done. I was trying to see what they had on DC Universe before switching over to Comixology (which I have to pay for) but they only have issues 1-12 of her new 52 run which is apparently significantly longer than that and I burned through those very quickly, and the other ones on there are basically just one-off appearances in a random Batman story. So I guess I’ll read those then see what I can get on Comixology (they apparently have a subscription thing now which may be more affordable than paying for each comic, I’ll have to see what’s the deal with that). Around 4:30 I started getting ready, tried to do my make up very carefully and ended up trying to use my liquid eyeliner on my bottom lid which I normally don’t do but I like accidentally got some on there when trying to get it on my top lid (not sure how I managed to do that) and wanted to see if I could do the rest. It turned out pretty good in the immediate aftermath at least, but when I got home it had migrated down my face a good bit which is basically my biggest pet peeve with black eyeliner so I probably won’t be doing that again (I’m gonna see if I can find a better one at Ulta/Sephora tomorrow, since I’ll be at the Ulta and there’s a Sephora down the street and I want to find something that’s a Sephora brand product. There’s apparently also a Sally’s around there which I may also hit up for some hair dyeing supplies). But I finished getting ready and got on the bus at like 5:30 to meet Jess at her work so we could go straight to the concert from there, I was supposed to get there slightly before she got off so she could use it as an excuse to leave but the bus was being uncooperative (as public transit often is) and I ended up not getting there until like right when she got off, but it wasn’t a big deal because we weren't really in a rush being that we knew Panic didn’t actually take the stage until like, 8:30 lol. We stopped at a mcdonalds drive thru on the way where we got twenty nuggets, two cokes, and a medium fries (it’s always a debate about how many nuggets to get, because Jess is like “but I want more than 10″ when we’re splitting 20 but it’s more expensive to order 30 nuggets than it would be to order 40 nuggets and that’s just way too many (we did try that once) so I was saying we could do a 20 and a 6 piece but ended up just going with the 20 for us to split. Drove the rest of the way out, the concert was out by the airport which is a bit of a hike but we’re used to going there because most Chicago cons are in a venue that’s right by there. There was fairly massive traffic getting into the venue, and we had some momentary panic (no pun intended) regarding paying for parking because we didn't have any cash and didn’t know if they’d take card, but luckily they did so that crisis was averted. of course it’s bullshit that they’re charging $25 to just park in their giant ass parking lot, but that’s life for ya. Once we parked we had to kinda run to the venue because it was cold and we were both bumming it without our regular coats (I had a leather jacket on) so we were happy when we got in there. Got in without issue, climbed up the stairs to the top level of course and found our seats. We were literally like, the furthest section back on the side before the other seats just weren’t sold because you couldn’t be able to see (the other half of our section was actually closed off) but despite that we actually had a fairly good view and could see most of everything, just mostly from a side view and sometimes the back, lol. I was pumped though because I spent like all of last week wishing I could relive the concert and now I was getting to do that, so I was very excited. The new perspective was interesting, we got to see things from different angles which was interesting, like him popping up onto the stage when he first came out and just jumps up so it looks like he just gets shot out at fairly high speed lol. The set list was the same of course, except I’ve been listening to the music all week and actually knew the vast majority of the songs this time and could sing along, so I felt accomplished for that. I did manage to take a good amount of videos that I posted all on my instagram story if you want to check those out (@ racheleiley) and this time I didn’t ugly sing while recording lol so they’re better quality than the ones from last week. But yeah it was really good, I still got super anxious and cringey when he was on the floating piano above the crowd and very clearly not strapped into anything and like, going to the edge of the platform and I like, couldn’t watch because it stressed me out too much lol but thankfully he made it back okay. When Girls/Girls/Boys came on we hadn’t gotten the little paper colored hearts to put over our cell phone lights this time because we were in the reject section that was mostly empty, but it was still enjoyable and he definitely had no less than 10 pride flags thrown onstage at him during it which he picked every single one up and draped them over him and he was like “this is a record” which was great. But yeah, I really enjoyed all of it. When he came back out for the encore someone threw a little teddy bear onstage and he was like “aw, this is the cutest teddy bear, I’m keeping this” and put it in his back pocket as he kept performing and it was really fucking cute lol. He must be in really good shape to be doing this sometimes multiple times a week because it’s so much energy expended and his voice is so strong to be able to handle it (makes sense that he did a stint on Broadway). But yeah, I enjoyed it a lot and got much better videos this time so I’m pleased with that. Once it ended we managed to get out of the parking lot relatively quickly, definitely a lot quicker than we expected because we kinda cut around part of the line to get to the exit faster (sorry not sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️) and then made it the rest of the way home, and Jess made me walk back to my place from her apartment instead of dropping me off which she could’ve VERY EASILY done, but she was being a butt and trying to get payback because she always has to make the walk when we hang out at my place (which we do the vast majority of the time). So I walked home, thankfully it wasn’t too cold, and then spent a while uploading the videos to my instagram story because it was being uncooperative while at the concert so I had to do them all after. My roommate got home shortly after I did and somehow managed to leave her keys in the front door, but now our front door wouldn’t unlock, so she was gonna go around the back to get to the front and asked if I had my front door key, which I thought she meant the front door to our apartment, so I gave her that she disappeared. Not long after I could hear someone calling my name so I went to the front door and was like ??? yes??? but she wasn’t at the door and I was thoroughly confused as to where she could be until it occurred to me that maybe she was locked outside, so I went down the backstairs to the back door where she was in fact stuck, we had a slight miscommunication on the key situation and she couldn’t get the front door of the building to open because I gave her the wrong key, whoops, but we got it figured out and fixed the door situation so that was good. After that was settled I got in the shower and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. I’ve been writing this post for about 40 minutes and it’s now 2 am, I have to get up at at least 10:30 tomorrow to make sure I’m presentable for the Skype interview so I think I should get to bed now. Goodnight loves. Have a lovely Tuesday.

[lonedailydoodle]

Daily Doodle 240 – December 12, 2018

Another day full of driving around running errands

But we got to rest at night and watched an episode of Doctor Who together, that was interesting, I never watched this before!

 Today I woke up early, got me some cereal and sat down to watch a video. After so, I got some outdoor clothes on and headed out to my grandma’s house who’s in the US. We were gonna cut down some plantains and feed the chickens

We did all this, I took a bunch of pretty pics and after an hour or so, we left back home where I changed, borrowed some money from mom as my PayPal money hadn’t transferred yet (Ugh), got some cereal boxes for Pixie, got the papers he told me to print yesterday and then left to Pixie’s school after a bit. I wanted to experiment with my Waze app and followed the same exact route it gave me to see if I’d really arrive at the time it predicted. I normally use the app to help me see ahead with traffic alerts, but I can’t trust it much since not that many people use it here and don’t report traffic.. But this time it worked, and I even arrived some 5 minutes earlier somehow

Anyways, I got Pixie after he was let out of school. We left to his house and then left to get some Chinese food. It obviously took a bit as it’s always fresh and while we like that, it still kinda doesn’t make sense they have a drive thru..

We left home after we got the food, we ate, and sometime later Pixie got his new roller-skates a friend gifted him. He used to roller-skate a lot in his childhood as much as I used to ride bicycles and it was really cool to see him get onto them again. He grew tired a bit later and we went inside again

A while later, we headed out to a car rim and performance shop Pixie wanted to go last time but was closed. This time they were open, so we went inside and browsed. Pix also spotted some rims he really would like for his Miata in the future and they fit in well with the colors he’s looking forward to!

We then left back home for an hour or so, Pix watched some videos, but we didn’t do much aside from that. Then we took Wilson out to the nearby Burger King to get some hot chocolate for Pixie. I now agree their whipped cream is really darn good! While there, Pixie saw a Subaru STI (It’s a pretty cool car, guys) so we parked nearby and looked over it

We drove to a friend’s house where we hung out a bit, then left to refuel and head home again. We didn’t spend much time there as we then left to weight one of Pixie’s dogs at a.. Coin operated weighing machine. It was the only logical cheap option nearby, so. They were weighing this dog for a medicine they’ll be giving her

After this, we left to a nearby Marshall’s where Pixie browsed around, then we left to a nearby Subway to eat together. Them sandwiches are so good, I’d still love to try their whole menu, but expensive!

We got home after this but left once again to drop off a comic Pixie ordered for a friend, I think it was that. We then spent some time at home, browsing memes together and cuddling up a bit. I also “scared” Pixie by turning off the room light when he left and dancing behind the door like a dumb dumb. He then walked in and gasped but quickly started laughing lots cuz of how ridiculous the whole thing was

After a while, we left to get some groceries as well as some hot chocolate pouches and whipped cream. We got home, dropped off the groceries and then left to weigh another one of Pixie’s dogs. I’m not exactly sure why we had to weigh this one this time

Anyways, we then finally stopped going out for today, just hanging out in Pixie’s room until we ended up watching a bunch of Doctor Who intro’s and it spiked my curiosity, they looked really cool! We then watched a whole episode together. Pix is a huge fan of this series and while I don’t know much about it, it was still fun to watch together, and I enjoyed it!

Pixie had school the next day though, so we kissed goodbye and got ready to leave. Before this though, I had told him that I wished to see a shooting star again since I enjoy seeing them and just as I said it, I saw one right where I was looking.. So there’s that..

Anyways, I left home and then spent a bit of time outside staring up at the night sky and spotting a few shooting starts in my peripheral vision. I hope nobody was looking cuz I looked so awkward staring up that late at night..

I got inside, put on some more bandages on new bug bites before they got worse, chatted with Pix until he went to bed and then wrote the doodle. I decided I’d be drawing it tomorrow since I don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow and my eyes are getting red and dry again, so I need the sleep..

[lafortis]

what do you do if you feel the need to create but have no, like, particular avenue to create thru?

I know I stream, but streaming isn't really "creating" for me; others might consume it as "content," whatever that means (although god I hope not), but I see it more as a kind of live entertainment routine than a creation, i.e. I walk on stage/on mic, I do stuff, and then I'm done. I never really look back and go "aw yeah I really made that stream" or anything, i just see it as me being myself with external stimuli, and ppl watching that. Lately its been even less formal, more like hanging out with friends than anything else.

I used to write when I was muuuuch younger, but I never really stuck with it. I guess my writing evolved into DMing, although I don't do that anymore either. I've tried to learn to code so I can make games several times now, but learning to code by rote is so tedious I can't force myself to do it, and thus it's kinda blocked to me. I also don't really have "a game" I want to make, although of course ideas swirl around in my head, but there's no big artistic concept that could survive it's way through a make-your-own-game type of software, and I don't think my writing exactly merits a visual novel CYOA game either, which is another "I can't code but want to make games" option. Video editing is sometimes fun for me, but I lack the patience for any of the long-form, finer-detailed stuff I can imagine myself considering "creation". I lack an artistic bone in my body, visually speaking; my aesthetic sense is barely alive; everything I own is maintained sloppily if at all.

I know we say that consuming media is generative, or at least, that one post did, but I've been consuming some pretty goddamn good media lately, and when it's done I feel unaccountably empty. There is no more media. It's done. It can't continue forever; indeed, the reason I loved it so much is because it took exponentially more time to create than it did for me to produce. I enjoy things that are nuanced, detailed, well thought-out; things that take months if not years to out together. While I'm consuming the media, my thoughts are guided along a path by the creator, but once it's done, I'm unmoored once more, and left with the question "what now?"

I can think of a couple ideas for learning to make games that might succeed where previous attempts have failed. Start trying to make a simple game, and only force myself to learn what I need to use. This is how I learn most things, by doing rather than reading. Therefore I would have to begin top-down rather than bottom up, and this requires I come up with things I want to make. Of course, I don't know if this would really "work" in the broader sense; I don't know if, even were I to succeed in putting together some small janky thing that I could generously call a game, it would satisfy this urge, or if the urge speaks to a larger lack of purpose in my life as a whole. As much as I love them, I couldn't devote my life to games; I acknowledge them as recreational, a pastime, at best an artform, and while I acknowledge art as important, and I know that others devote their lives to their art and I'm certainly happy they do, I don't think I could do that. I'd feel, fundamentally, that I'm leaving the important issues unaddressed.

i can't think of a better way to wrap this up than that; i kinda lost my train of thought after i wrote that. i'm just gonna post it now, idk why

[coulscns]

— ✧ KELSEY CHOW ?? no, that’s just EUDORA MAY COULSON !! she’s the TWENTY year old adoptive daughter of PHIL COULSON & MELINDA MAY ( DAISY JOHNSON & LINCOLN CAMPBELL ), and an UNDERGRAD at paragon. i hear she’s PASSIONATE & ADAPTIVE, but tends to be DECEITFUL & SHORT-TEMPERED. her file says that her power is ELECTROMAGNETISM MANIPULATION.

   tell me who’s going to save me from myself                when this LIFE is all i’ve known.

SECTION ONE OF THREE: BULLET POINT HISTORY trigger warnings for death, arson, injury, murder ( ? )

what would prove to be the most defining moment of dora’s life would actually happen BEFORE she was born. before her mother, daisy johnson, even knew that she was pregnant with his child, her father, lincoln campbell, sacrificed himself to save the world - and he did do just that, but he never knew what it cost him

and, what it cost daisy

had he lived, then there was no question ; he and daisy would have raised their baby, together, creating for themselves the families neither had ever had. they wouldn’t have been ready, not even a little bit, but it would’ve been ok so long as they were in it, together. but he didn’t live, and when daisy found out how her life was going to change in such a huge way a few weeks later.. she panicked

she wasn’t ready. the people that say that all a kid needs is love are only right some of the time - she could love her unborn child with everything in her, but that didn’t mean she’d feel any more confident about what was to come. it didn’t stop the voice at the back of her head, telling her how all of her family, all the people she cared for, ended up hurt or worse because of her. it didn’t stop her from realizing that she couldn’t do it - so she decided that she wouldn’t. but she had been in and out of foster homes for her entire life. she knew how hard and unforgiving the system was, and she couldn’t do that to her kid - 

enter phil coulson and melinda may, daisy’s pseudo parents, everything she had ever dreamed that she would have in a family. how it came about involved far too many late night and emotional discussions - all that matters is that on february 21st, a baby girl was born, and on her birth cert she was named eudora may coulson

daisy remained in her daughter’s life, but never as a mother. if anything, she was a hip older sister figure, able to watch her child grow up happy and loved while said child knew nothing of the truth. they bonded over computer programming and video games playing, but dora was never any the wiser. it was just easier, that way. daisy knew that if she ever changed her mind, phil and melinda would allow the truth to be revealed - but even if she’d started to second guess herself as dora grew older, she couldn’t have ever ruined the family unit that they created for her

everyone else in phil and melinda’s shield family were her family too, of course, just as they would’ve been if she’d been raised by her mother. i imagine all the oldest people knew - but it wasn’t the kind of secret that everyone wanted to be the first to tell. it was one that was RESPECTED, if anything, and it wasn’t as if who raised her changed much. eudora was surrounded by an overwhelming amount of love and loyalty, and was a happy child, surrounded by strong people who she was able to look up to and learn from. the only complaint that people had with her was that she was obsessed  with shield

it was understandable, of course. her parents being so involved, all of the people she knew being the same, eudora grew up thinking that working with the organization was as normal as working for the post office. she loved the idea of joining up and becoming a hero - so much so that around the time she turned thirteen, she REALLY started to pressure phil and melinda

she wanted to know when she could join, and get her security clearance, and go on top secret missions with them. they’d taught her some self defense, enough to make sure she could take care of herself if needed, but she wanted MORE, now - she wanted to be an agent, and do whatever it took. and of course, they tried to keep her away from that life, for as long as they could. they tried to keep her SAFE

and they kind of became stifling, over protective parents, in the process

and everyone knows what happens, when a young teen feels stifled by their parents. they rebel - and for dora, that took the form of many after school detentions and low tier vandalism and delinquency, until finally, not long after her fifteenth birthday, they got the call that she hadn’t turned up to school that day. they naturally thought she was skipping a couple classes, and would turn up again eventually -

except, she didn’t

when they actually searched her room, they realized that she had took all of her money and things

her dream ? become a vigilante hero. yes, she was one of THOSE teens, who couldn’t just choose one. she thought if she proved herself as capable, she’d somehow prove herself as more than capable to be an agent - and at the time, hitting the streets seemed like the best of ideas. when she was six states away, however, lacking money and a roof over her head, she realized she’d kinda hecked up

but she was stubborn as all hell. she was gonna MAKE IT - or at least, she was gonna do her best to make a name for herself, before they tracked her down. she was good at covering her tracks, but dora knew that eventually, she’d get found. it was a question of when, but for the time being, she tried to do as many heroic things as she could

as in. she walked a lot of old ladies across the road and saved some cats ( and one parrot! ) from some trees. as it turned out, there wasn’t a lot of hero deeds out there for a homeless kid to do

a few more heroics, and a lot of near misses from her shield fam in tracking her down ( listen - they’re the best at their jobs, but the unexpected side effect of dora trailing them for YEARS was that she’d picked up on all the best ways to go on the run ), and we’re gonna fast forward to the second of dora’s defining moments

terrigenesis. i bet y’all thought i was gonna ignore this lil home slice being an inhuman. guess AGAIN !

it had taken an age, but dora had reached san diego - and at the diner she worked at ( shoutout to the people who had no issues in hiring an underage girl w no papers ), she overheard something that led her to what she thought would put her name into the young heroes hall of fame for life. it seemed like an arms deal. that was what it SOUNDED like, anyway. lots of “we meet at midnight”’s and “make sure to bring the gear”’s and blah blah blah, she kinda tuned out for the most part, but her sweet lil innocent mind had gone straight to GUNS instead of drugs, which probably woulda made more sense

she tailed the guy when he left the diner, managed to sneak her way into the warehouse after him, and watched as he met with just two other guys- two? two! that made THREE altogether, and any vigilante hero can handle three assailants 

they didn’t have any guns with them, though. or bags of drugs. just a small wooden box, which they were, she assumed, trading for the briefcase full of cold hard cash. she wasn’t about to tell the guy she’d tailed he wasn’t getting his moneys worth, though. she didn’t question it - as they held out the little wooden box she had appeared, taking out the guy she’d followed with a sweeping move, and then- yikes

one of the others had reached for his gun. he was raising it towards her, when they all realized at the exact same time that the little wooden box had toppled from the third guys hands in the commotion. it was sailing towards the floor, they looked like if they weren’t already destined to being too slow they’d have shouted, or tried save it, but they were all stuck and she was wondering if it was a bomb and then-

the wood splintered. the crystal inside shattered. the explosion of what seemed like dust enveloped all four of them, and the last thing that eudora thought was - dying thanks to asbestos fucking SUCKED

she doesn’t recall what happened next. she was too young, to go thru terrigenesis - and it’s been long since proven that anyone unprepared, or too young, or BOTH, will suffer consequences. for eudora, it was coming to exactly three days later getting wheeled out of a back alley on a gurney, the noise of the ambulance going right through her skull, the flashing lights killing her eyes. some lady had seen the passed out teen and panicked thinking that she was dead, and honestly, eudora wasn’t ruling it out as an option

she couldn’t remember anything that happened, after she had gotten to the warehouse. zilch. nada. nothing. which was kinda good, i suppose, considering the last thing she’d seen before terrigenesis took her was the petty criminals before her crumbling to dust. and also kind of bad, because when an EMT tried to lean over and check her eyes with another annoying torch, she, uh... 

electrocuted him

it was p bad

the other EMT’s screamed smth about her being a freak or whatever, and she was DEFINITELY freaking out, and it was a good job they hadn’t thought she’d be much of a threat and hadn’t strapped her to that gurney because she was fucking outta there like a flash, even though when they came to their senses, they tried to stop her

things were uh . how you say... not good ! 

she was alone, she was scared, she was going through changes that she didn’t understand - now would be such a good time to ruin her some more, but finally, something went right. a bystander from the whole ‘maybe killing an EMT and injuring three others’ thing followed her ( it’s not as creepy as it sounds ), and just.. well. happened to be a member of a very special group i can’t wait to namedrop

enter: a teeny tiny san diego based branch of the brotherhood of mutants, left mostly to their own devices. their scout brought in what she thought was another newly displaying mutant - and in her humble defense, after a display of their powers, eudora didn’t have any real. reason. to DOUBT she was a mutant 

it wasn’t like she knew she was an inhuman. because.. she didn’t. and she couldn’t remember what she’d gone through to get her powers, because, plot convenience. and really. it was a case of mistaken identity on like. both their sides

things looked up, immediately. the mutants she ran with for the next while were more than helpful at showing her how to use her powers, and under their leaders wing, eudora learned more about mutants and their struggles and .. more about herself, or at least, that’s what she thought. she was a mutant ( haha ). she was a part of the unfairly treated minority, now, and eudora had always been a passionate, strong willed, and STUBBORN girl. she fell RIGHT into their ideals, accepting them wholeheartedly, and 

well

remember when i said things would go right

i meant they’d go right for like a few months, tops, and then i’d ruin it again 

she was pretty powerful. especially in the tiny group that she ran with. and once they realized that, and realized that she was on board with them - hook, line, sinker - it got easier and easier to wind her up and watch her go. she started carrying out jobs for them. sometimes it was getting money, when it was low and they needed the cash to get by. sometimes it was help in burning down a warehouse containing weapons that they’d been tipped would be used at the next pro-mutant rally. sometimes, it was hurting people. twice, it was a lot more serious than that.

but eudora was among who she thought were her friends and allies - and in a way, she was, but that didn’t negate the fact that she was young and impressionable and wholly in over her head, and they took advantage of that fact

she was starting to do more and more questionable things, and it was bad

REALLY bad, in fact

there was an anti-mutant rally planned to happen the summer after she had turned eighteen, and eudora was their main event. from the sidelines of the huge stage those against her kind spoke from, she focused all of her power on the electricity lines. the microphone, the speakers, the lights - everything exploded. the wires went up in flames. the wood of the stage caught, the people on top were heading towards fiery deaths if they hadn’t dove in time -

thankfully, shield turned up.

a camera had caught eudora and some of her friends scouting the area in the early hours of the morning. facial recognition tipped off the team, and they had rushed to get there as soon as they could. if it hadn’t been for their presence, everyone on the stand that day would have died - thanks to eudora. not that they realized that, at first

her friends scattered and she was too stunned at the sight of her mom and dad striding towards her to do the same. the family was reunited in the chaos, but she had always been told that honesty was the best policy - and she told them then and there her involvement in what had happened that day. they didn’t take her back on the bus as their kid.

well. they did.

but she was also under arrest

#yikes

in a story full of yikes’ i really hate to end, but here is where i must. it goes without saying that they were able to have her freed and her record wiped, after a few call ins of favors. and with her back, they got some time together before they decided that maybe sending her to the academy would benefit her - she’d picked up a lot of extreme ideas while she had been away, it seemed, and they wanted their daughter back

but much as they wanted her back, she couldn’t just reappear from nowhere. and eudora HAD changed. she was different. she was a mutant - and yes, they foolishly allowed her to keep on believing that because she had already been through so much, adding in that her almost sister slash aunt was actually her mother would have been too much, full stop. and she knew what it was like, for mutants

she still wanted to help the brotherhood 

so once at the academy and away from her prying parents eyes, she reached back out to her friends-

and that’s where we’re at w eudora coulson! she’s an inside man that aint nobody suspecting! 

SECTION TWO OF THREE: EXTRA DETAILS

her quick stats page, which includes personality tidbits, can be found HERE

eudora isn’t bad. i feel like after all my talk of her brotherhood dealings, i needa clarify that. she ISN’T bad. or evil. or whatever else you’d apply to a typical ‘villain’. she’s misguided - especially given that she thinks of herself as one of their own. her first experience with mutant kind after her change was a very extreme mutant kind, and she’s adopted their ideals as her own, and wants to work with them, to help them. but that’s because she thinks she’s doing the right thing. all she’s ever wanted to be is a hero. she still thinks that in a way, she’s being one

she has a single, self done tattoo, on the inside of her left wrist ; roman numerals that she typically covers up with a very large bracelet, which make absolutely NO sense to anyone who doesn’t know what they’re looking for. they’re coded coordinates for the exact whereabouts of the san diego branches safe house - and an identification mark, for if she runs into anyone affiliated with them.

she used a codename while running with the brotherhood group that she ran with, which was HYADES - not just a cluster of stars, but also the name of the sisterhood daughters of atlas in greek mythology, of which one is named eudora. when she was little, she used to have a mythology obsession that everyone actively encouraged, because knowledge is power and all that jazz - it was the very first name to come to mind, and she ran with it for as long as she ran with them

she wasn’t always rly short tempered. that is .. tragically .. another terrigenesis side effect, on top of the whole ‘losing all the time immediately during and after the change’ thing. there’s just.. so much going on in her head, now. a lot of extra power flowing in her veins, etc, etc - all her emotions are heightened but its mostly when she gets mad that people realize, because eudora goes straight to RAGE.

SECTION THREE OF THREE: WANTED CONNECTIONS

one connection i REALLY want, and will probably put a wanted ad in for, is one that’s ,, a bit much to explain, but makes sense in my head. i want eudora, a self called HERO, to have her own ARCH-NEMESIS - and everyone knows that the best of those are the ones that the hero created, themselves. i’d love if one of the people doing the terrigenesis trade had ALSO been a dormant inhuman, and i’d love if they had gone through the change with her. i imagine that they’ve been out there not too far from her all this time, and are p angry about the whole ‘she kinda had a part in their friends deaths’ thing - n also maybe the whole ‘definitely having a part in them gaining powers that they mightn’t have wanted’ thing. i’d LOVE that kind of hero/villain dynamic, so if ur interested. pls. hmu

FRIENDS ! literally any and all kind. she dropped off the face of the earth for about 3 years, but before that she probably had plenty of all types of friends, and since then, she’s probably made more. i just want her to hav some connections, ya know?

looks to the shooting stars n wishes for a daisy johnson

 i dont kno ive been typing for two hours im so tired

ill come up w more

i swear

for now

pls lov

n plot w me

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[sweetnestor]

we’re the same, you made that clear

its after 1am and i should be asleep but this is all im thinking about

okay so who tf knows how long anti has really been there

its unanimous that he’s been around for a long while, months or years maybe???

so maybe there was some kind of agreement a long time ago, “you stay in your lane and i’ll stay in mine ok ok cool”

of fucking course devil boy gets bored and antsy. jack’s attention isnt enough anymore

obvs some kind of narcissist, he’ll do whatever the hell he has to in order to get this attention

also just imagine jack mumbling to himself, his body twitching while talking to anti 

over time he pushed angel boy closer and closer to the edge

“you’re scaring me...”  y̵͜͝ǫ͡҉ù̴̷̵̢.̢.̶̷́.̶ ͏͏̕҉ş͟h̷͟o̸ų̢̢̛l҉̢̛͢d͘͡.̨̀͟͡.̴̨̕.̸͘͟͞ ̨͞͏b̀͏e͟҉͏.̷̀́͞.̡̛̀̀.͞҉̷̛͡  

intrusive thoughts➡nightmares➡delusions➡hallucinations➡boom he’s unhinged

jack goes a little nuts trying to find ways to get anti out of his body, por ejemplo he starts going to church in the hopes that it would make the devil inside him flee, he considers getting an exorcist, but alas. he cant tell people theres a demon inside him, he’s not even sure its a demon

so, all out of other options, jack somehow attains a bag of human blood, holy water, and some needles (he was so desperate he resorted to stealing) he then injects himself with the two liquids many times in many places but to no avail

anti screams, he screams a lot, it really stings but it doesnt make him leave, if anything he likes watching this puny human lose his marbles

in fact, its just what he wants

it renders jack so vulnerable and helpless that anti can properly take over

anti has control over jacks body now, assuming that they share a body??

sidenote: maybe he’s a tulpa or some shit? (more on that in a bit)

anyway he’s managed to basically switch places with jack

again, over time jack comes back to himself (maybe a lil more fucked up emotionally) while hes stored away in anti’s mind

tables start to turn again, jack is the one glitching through this time

can either be in videos, tweets, or irl (like he’s giving anti intrusive thoughts, and nightmares that consist of jack screaming ‘LET ME OUT YOU PIECE OF SHIT’)

once jack figures out how anti works, he makes it harder for the glitch bitch to come thru

jackaboy aint going down with out a fight!!!!

also the trauma he’d go thru

im soz i have to acknowledge

the nightmares will probably go on once he’s in control of his own body again, but it aint the devil making his mind go dark anymore

it gets harder to tell whats real and what isnt (was it the neighbors walking around? what was that shadow in the corner of his eye? and dont even start with seeing blood)

if anti is present and he spares your life it wasnt anti

jack: much empathy, reeks of it, many emotions, v soft

anti: wtf are emotions??? what you’re gonna tell me your tragic backstory for sympathy?? go ahead?? ill probably get bored and slit your throat midsentence :)))

jack doesnt “black out” when the other guy takes over, anti makes sure he can see every god damn thing he does

renders jack even more helpless (at least until he starts fighting back)(its hard to get this fucker to pipe down)(one of the things they have in common)

technically anti was jacks ‘dark side’ ...like his anxiety, anger, some (or many) intrusive thoughts

they all pretty much came together and formed their own mind, a new entity

jack probably confronts these feeling (at least thats what he thinks they are??) but yknow,,, glitchy bitchy loves attention

naturally jack is scared out of his wits, but who could he tell this to?? he didn’t want to be sent away, or be told hes crazy... someone just needs to hear him out!!!

“ i'͜͝m a͝l̷̀͟l҉͜ y̷͞ǫ̛u'̵͞͝v͘͘e ̶̢ǵ̴o͘҉t̵͟ ͟n͢ò̶҉w҉̶.̛.̸͜͡.͟͞҉ ̵̡w͜e ͏a̕r̷e҉ ̨o̧͘͟n̨e,” anti whispers as jack frantically looks up solutions online

“shut up... you can’t control me... you’re not me...”

let this all just be a fucking dream

_______

oh look a cheeky lil anti playlist

[5point9million-blog]

A Glimpse Of Hope

When I was walking to work today I was playing some song that were downloaded on my phone.  I try to play music to get me in the mood to work.  About the 3rd song in, my phone played the song I made for Trenece for her birthday a couple of years back.  I actually wrote the song and recorded it on a video in like 30 minutes.  That was back in the day when we were just close friends.  I played it for her during nap time and emailed it to her.  A couple years later, after we had reconnected, I went to the studio and recorded it and gave the CD to her for her birthday.

Listening to the song brings up a lot of different feelings.  I remember listening to it and thinking to myself, “Why would I do this for someone who obviously does not feel the same way that I feel about her?  And what is going through her mind when she listens to this song??”  It took a lot to fight through the feelings and continue on with life.  Some of the most happiest moments where when I just knew that she wasn’t coming back in my life.  That she was happy with whoever she was with at the time and it was all for the best.

But then I hear from her cousin or her sister that she is going through something and that the person she is with is “going out for self”.  That made my heart hurt knowing that she would be better off with me.  That I would be there for her and help her grow and become the woman that God intended her to be.  When she came back the very last time, I had no idea what to think,  I mean... to this day, I still worry about her leaving me and going off to do her own thing.  Especially because of what happened a couple of weeks ago.  The kids don’t seemed to be phased.  Yet that could be a big front just because they love me so much.  Deep down inside they may still harbor a fear of me at the very same time.

These past couple of weeks have been a real trial.  Having to get up and go to work and come back home and do the same thing over and over again.  Never really seeing any blessings or miracles come from it.  At my job, I am a laughing stock and everybody makes fun of me.  They laugh at everything I do and everything that I say is a joke to them.  It makes me try harder and focus on my job even more.  I try to better than I did before each day just so I can secure my spot and get my hours.  I seem to get overtime a lot lately.  So that is testament to how the managers feel about my work.

I work the front register, the drive thru and both sides of the line.  I work hard at being a team player and help out everyone as much as I can.  So much to the point were they seem to take it for granted and get mad when I tell them no... which isn’t that often.

I remember a couple of weeks ago, a few days after my last drink, Trenece’s cousin was telling me that I should just stop doing stuff for her and let her fall by herself.  She said that I should just focus on working on me and not to trip off of spending time or doing stuff with her.  

I didn’t listen.

It was just a week later that I gave her the money to be able to rent the car that she now drives for Lyft.  I know that I wrote about this is a couple of posts ago... but I just want to recap just so you know where I am coming from at this present moment.

So.... I am listening to the song and I am trying to hold on to the little bit of faith that I do have.  I want to believe that we are still together but yet the evidence of the current situation seems to be saying otherwise.  We don’t speak. We don’t spend time with each other.  And supposed to be satisfied with the conversation that she had with me a couple of weeks ago telling me that she would be “out of the loop” for a while and not to get discouraged from me not talking to her or seeing her for a while until she gets her routine down pat.

I am trying to hold on because I know that if I do and we do start to see each other again.  That we will be back and better than before just because she is making her own money and I wouldn’t have to spend so much.  So I am trying to hold on the that belief because it is the only thing that I got right now.  A deep part of me wants to explore my options with other females.  Not only has Ashley been low-key pushing up on me (literally and figuratively).  This girl, Ebony, that used to be my old assistant back at the day care now works with us.  I used to have a real bad crush on her.  She is actually one of the reasons why I started to grow my hair out.  Truth is, I’ve been friend-zoned by her for a while.  Then on top of that, she really isn’t someone that I see myself in a relationship with.  Then it’s this girl named Leslie.  She used to work at Taco Bell when I first started working there.  Long story short... she left and now she is back.  Leslie is so nice and kind and sweet to me.  Every time I she sees me she gives me a big hug and squeezes me.  She makes me feel wanted.

That’s something that I have been missing with my relationship with Trenece.

She used to be all huggy and kissy in the beginning but then as the relationship got old.  She just stopped trying as much.  And it’s funny because she would do things around people or not do things and I would just think to myself... Would (so and so) do this to their man??  And often times the answer would be no.  I look at the interactions with other couples and notice the big differences between us.  Most of them are not good are our end.  Now these are some things that I would love to talk to Trenece about but because of the current situation and what I did a couple of weeks ago... I can’t bring myself up to having these conversations with her.

I tried to call her around 5:30 yesterday evening and she didn’t answer.  I am not sure if I told you but I ran into her sister the other day.  She drove me home and we talked a little bit.  She asked me if I spoke to Trenece and I was like... no.  Haven’t seen or spoke to her since the Hershey Park trip on Saturday. (Which is one of the things that I was talking about... her not taking me home that night.)  And then I tried to make up some excuses about it being summer and her having the kids.... But then her sister told me that she didn’t have the kids.  The younger ones were out of town and the older ones went to spend the week with their grandfather.  So I was just left to assume that she was using the time to work.  So, I was like ok whatever.  Let me just do me and get myself together.

Yet at the same time, even that is kind of difficult because the money that I gave her set me back a bit and now I am just waiting on this next check to even myself out.... but I am getting ahead of myself now...

So I go to work and grind it out for a couple of hours learning how to make breakfast (the food items).  After that, I take my break and go sit on the bench hoping to gather my thoughts and prepare to grind it out for the rest of my shift.  After about ten minutes in, Trenece calls me.  We talk for about 5 to 10 minutes catching up.  Then she starts making breakfast and a whole bunch of other stuff with the girls and pretty much has me on hold.  By this time I clocked in back to work and I have my ear piece in my ear just listening to them while I work.

After a while, she comes back on the phone and she telling me how she is barely breaking even just because “everyone” is beckoning for her time just because she has a car now.  And because of that, she can barely get time in to actually work.  And because she can’t work; she cannot make any real money.  So I’m basically five-stepping her and halfway paying attention to her.  I can tell by the sound of her voice and her inflection that she misses talking to me and that she had something else to say to me but she wanted to drop the girls off first at her friend’s house first.  She said that she would call me back to which she never did.

However,  that made me feel some type of way.  It’s like a bittersweet hope.  That call just solidified that we still have a relationship.  Yet at the same time, it also means that until she gets some sort of routine down then I will have to just be alone until she does.  I was really expecting a call from her.  I knew that she would get busy.  I mean just the simple fact that she picked up the phone and called me today and stayed on the phone with me that long was good enough for me.  I am still kind of sad... but now at least I have hope.  I don’t want to be with anybody but her.  Those other females I mentioned may tickle my fancy to some degree but I would never have nothing more than sex with them... and that is just something that I cannot do.  It reminds me of Ross & Rachel on Friends.  Right now I consider this a break and I really need to take the time to get myself together and find a spot for me to live.

With that being said, so the guys of the house had a meeting today while I was at work.  I thought that kind of odd being as though that we were all in the house yesterday... but whatever.  The truth is that we are behind again in out rent.  The water and the light bill is due and even though we got another guy to move in that’s just not gonna be enough.  So the dude, Andre, said he is moving out tomorrow because he tired of all the lies that these guys have been telling folks and have been low-key sabatoging the house and enabling us to fail month after month.  I mean.. hay.. at the end of the day, it’s gonna be them that is gonna have to owe Oxford House World Services... not us.  I could leave this house and be in the clear and never lose a night’s sleep about it after today.

I started back hitting the gym and just last week I got my tiki tattoo redone and I got a spider put on my hand.  I am thinking that these will be my last tatts ever but you never know.  I have about 12 in total now and I am satisfied with the way they all look.... however I might get a couple of them covered up.  I asked my tatt man if he could do it and he was like...idk.  And the more that I think about it... I really don’t need to be throwing money away like that when I need to be saving to move.  I am also on the fence about dying my hair again.  I think I’m good but I have been saying that for the past year and I have been dying my hair every 3 mos ever since I started saying that.  I want to dye my hair blue and then bleach it blonde.  But I am going to have to wait at least another 2 or 3 months to wait until my new growth shows more of my natural hair color.  Or I might just be like fuck it and dye it blue next week... IDK... we will see.

With Love,’

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