#gonna go workout later

[lotusfarmer]

xoxo

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

just learned that people are like legitimately pissed that mackenyu buffed up for season 2 ???

[kikuism]

trying not to beat myself up over doing just a 15 minute workout

[valeovalairs]

Tried to make Colombian hot chocolate for the first time since childhood today. And let me tell you, I understand why mankind invented instant hot chocolate powder now.

[valleynix]

god i love being mentally ill. this scene is killing me

[upperranktwo]

Good morning good morning everyone!!!!!! 💖

[neverendingford]

.

[dumbass-bisexual]

For an update on the comedy of errors that is my life I somehow managed to fuck up my back doing Topgolf yesterday and spent a good chunk of today on the couch with a heating pad like an elderly woman

[saturdaymournings]

Bitch I hate this I cannot live like this I hate it so fucking much actually

[extervus]

Why don't you sit on your porch with a yummy drink in the late morning sun and then maybe you'll calm down

[pucksandpower]

Oscar Jack Piastri-Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x wife!Reader

Summary: congrats … it’s a boy!

You wake up to the sound of the apartment door closing, followed by Charles’ familiar footsteps down the hallway. Sunlight streams in through the curtains as he enters the bedroom, still dressed in his sweaty workout clothes.

“Mon amour, you���ll never believe what just happened,” he says, unable to contain his excitement.

You rub the sleep from your eyes. “What is it, babe?”

“I adopted Oscar Piastri.”

You blink a few times, unsure if you heard that correctly. “You … adopted Oscar Piastri? The McLaren driver?”

“Yes!” Charles exclaims, flopping down on the bed beside you. “It all started when he tweeted about wanting to find Monégasque roots so the Monaco Grand Prix could be his home race.”

“Okay ...” You try to wrap your head around this bizarre situation.

“So I replied saying I could just adopt him if needed. And you know how Oscar is, always ready with a witty comeback.” Charles grins. “He said to call him Oscar Jack Piastri-Leclerc and that he wants to meet Leo on Thursday at McLaren.”

“Charles ...” You can’t help but laugh at the sheer absurdity. “You can’t just adopt a fully-grown man! Especially another F1 driver!”

“Why not?” He throws his arm around you, pulling you close. “We’re gonna be one big happy family. The two of us, Leo, Oscar, Ollie, and whoever else we decide to adopt along the way.”

You playfully shove him away. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Maybe a little.” Charles winks. “But you love me for it.”

Rolling your eyes, you get out of bed and head for the kitchen, Charles trailing behind. “So does this mean Oscar is coming for family dinner this Thursday?”

“Of course! We have to celebrate properly.” Charles scoops Leo up from his bed, cradling the puppy in his arms. “What do you say, Leo? You ready to have another big brother?”

Leo licks Charles’ face, tail wagging excitedly. You lean against the counter, watching your husband and puppy with a fond smile.

“I suppose I’ll have to set an extra place at the table,” you muse. “Your mother is going to flip when she finds out about this.”

“Maman keeps asking when we’ll give her grandchildren, she’ll be thrilled!” Charles insists. “Who wouldn’t want Oscar as a grandson?”

You snort at that. “Grandson? You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?”

“I’m serious!” He sets Leo down and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. “We can make it official. Have a baby shower and everything once this weekend is over with.”

“You’re unbelievable.” You shake your head in amused exasperation, resting your hands on his chest.

Charles leans in close, his warm breath fanning across your face. “Admit it, my particular brand of crazy kinda does it for you.”

You bite your lip to stifle a grin. “Keep talking and maybe I’ll consider it.”

His eyes spark with mischief and he dips his head to capture your lips in a searing kiss. You melt against him, tangling your fingers in his hair and kissing him back with equal fervor. A loud bark from Leo breaks you apart, both slightly flushed.

“Not in front of the puppy,” Charles teases, booping Leo on the nose.

You swat his arm. “Stop being a brat and go take a shower, you’re all gross and sweaty from the gym.”

“Mmm, why don’t you join me?” He waggles his eyebrows in an over-exaggerated leer.

You laugh, shoving him away playfully. “Not a chance, mister. I have to go out and buy another place setting for our new family member.”

“Can I at least have a good luck kiss? It’s Monaco race week, after all. I’ll need all the luck I can get.” Charles bats his eyes at you in an exaggerated pout.

Shaking your head fondly, you rise up on your tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “There. Now go get ready.”

Still grinning like a loon, Charles saunters off to the bathroom. You crouch down and scoop up Leo, pressing a kiss to the top of his fuzzy head.

“Your dad is something else, you know that?” You murmur affectionately.

A few hours later, you return home laden with groceries to find Charles lounging on the couch scrolling through his phone. He looks up as you enter, eyes bright.

“Good timing, I was just about to call you.”

“Oh yeah?” You set the bags on the counter and start unpacking. “What’s up?”

“I was thinking ...” Charles gets up and comes over, wrapping his arms around you from behind. “We should do something special for Oscar’s first official family dinner. Maybe a nice home cooked meal out on the balcony?”

You lean back against his chest with a contented hum. “That does sound lovely.”

“I’ll cook!” Charles volunteers immediately. “My famous carbonara?”

“You just want to show Oscar you can manage to make something without burning the apartment down, don’t you?” You laugh, twisting in his embrace to face him.

Charles ducks his head sheepishly. “Maybe a little.”

“Well, I’m not complaining.” You peck him on the cheek. “Go ahead and make your carbonara for our new adopted son.”

“Yes!” He pumps his fist in the air victoriously.

You shake your head at his antics, warmth blooming in your chest. “I love you, you big goof.”

The smile Charles gives you is utterly radiant. “I love you too.”

He pulls you in for a deep, lingering kiss, holding you close. You get so lost in the moment that you don’t notice Leo trotting up and pawing at your legs until he lets out a pointed bark. Laughing, you reluctantly break the kiss.

“Sorry, baby.” Charles scoops up the puppy, scratching behind his ears. “We didn’t mean to leave you out.”

You take Leo from his arms, pressing a smiling kiss to his soft fur. “Don’t worry, you’ll always be our favorite.”

“That’s right,” Charles agrees, booping Leo’s nose. “No matter how many race car drivers we adopt, you’ll always be number one.”

The three of you spend the rest of the afternoon lounging contentedly together, Charles and Leo snuggled up on either side of you. It almost makes you forget the madness that kick started this whole situation in the first place.

Almost.

A few days later, after the drivers have finally been freed from their Thursday media obligations, your doorbell rings. You share a look with Charles as Leo starts barking.

“I’ll get it,” he says, already knowing who it is.

Sure enough, a few moments later Charles returns to the living room with Oscar in tow, looking rather sheepish. You rise to greet your new son.

“Oscar, hi! Come on in.” You pull him in for a hug, which he returns tentatively.

“Sorry about all … this.” Oscar gestures vaguely as you part. “I was just joking on Twitter but then Charles actually went and-”

“Adopted you, yeah.” You laugh. “Don’t worry about it, we’re happy to have you as part of the family.”

“Still getting used to that idea, to be honest.” Oscar scratches the back of his neck.

You wave a dismissive hand. “Well, get ready for lots of family gatherings and parental nagging from this point on.”

“Oh boy.” Despite his words, Oscar’s mouth quirks up in an amused grin.

“Starting with tonight’s big family dinner out on the balcony,” Charles interjects, slinging an arm around Oscar’s shoulders. “You like pasta?”

“Do I ever.” Oscar brightens. “Is Leo gonna be there too?”

“Of course! Can’t leave out my favorite son.” Charles scoops up the puppy, plopping him in Oscar’s arms. “Here, get acquainted with your new little brother.”

“Hiya little guy,” Oscar says softly, instantly melting as Leo licks his face. You watch the tender interaction with a warm smile.

“He’s taken a real shine to you already,” you comment. “I think Leo approves of his new big brother.”

Oscar ducks his head shyly but you can see the corners of his mouth tugging up into a grin. “Guess that makes me an official part of the family then.”

“Damn right it does!” Charles crows, throwing an arm around each of your shoulders and pulling you both in for an enthusiastic group hug.

You laugh, squished between them. “Easy there, dad. You’re gonna smother the poor kid before he’s even settled in.”

“What, you’re not excited to finally have your dream son?” Charles teases, ruffling Oscar’s hair affectionately. “Our little family is complete now.”

Rolling your eyes fondly, you extricate yourself from the embrace. “Why don’t you boys go set up for dinner while I start cooking? The balcony still needs to be prepped.”

“You got it, mon cœur.” Charles drops a kiss on your cheek before herding Oscar out towards the balcony, Leo cradled in his arms. “Come on, son. Let’s get this place looking perfect for your first official Leclerc family dinner.”

You shake your head as their voices fade down the hall, chuckling under your breath. Only your husband would take a silly Twitter joke this far. But as you start gathering ingredients for your grandmother’s legendary bolognese recipe, you can’t help but feel a swell of contentment.

Having Oscar around is certainly going to take some getting used to. But there’s no denying the warm affection and familial love you already feel towards the bashful but kindhearted young man. He fits right in with the playful, chaotic energy that defines your little household.

By the time the sun begins to dip below the horizon, bathing the apartment in a warm golden glow, the balcony is set up beautifully. You carry out the steaming pots of food to find Charles and Oscar setting out plates and glasses, Leo scampering around their feet. Your heart feels full just looking at them.

“This all looks wonderful, you two,” you say, setting the food down on the table. “Now we just need the guest of honor to arrive.”

“Maman’s never been late to dinner a day in her life,” Charles assures you. “She’ll be here any minute.”

Sure enough, there’s a rapid knocking at the door only moments later. You share an amused look with Oscar before going to answer it, Charles and Leo trailing behind.

“Maman!” Charles exclaims as you pull open the door to reveal his mother waiting on the other side. “Perfect timing.”

“Of course, we can’t start dinner without-” She breaks off abruptly as her eyes land on Oscar hovering behind you. “Charles, darling, who is this?”

“Maman, I’d like you to meet Oscar.” Charles beams as he gestures between them. “Your new grandson.”

A heavy silence falls over the room as Charles’ mother processes this bombshell. Her gaze flicks between the three of you, searching your faces for any sign that this is all an elaborate prank.

Finally, she seems to deflate with a sigh. “Oh Charles … what have you done now?”

And just like that, the floodgates open as both of you rush to explain the situation, talking over each other eagerly. Watching the animated scene unfold, Oscar catches your eye with a helpless look.

You just shrug, a soft smile playing at your lips. Chaotic as it is, this is your family now and wouldn’t have it any other way.

***

The following week, the doorbell rings just as you’re putting the final touches on dinner. Charles bounds over to answer it, Leo hot on his heels.

“Oscar! Ollie! Good, you’re both here.” Charles’ voice carries easily through the apartment.

You poke your head out of the kitchen, oven mitts still on. “Is that our other son I hear?”

“The one and only!” Ollie Bearman strolls in behind Oscar, looking completely at ease.

Oscar raises an eyebrow at the younger driver. “Why is nobody surprised you’re here?”

Ollie shrugs nonchalantly. “Teen pregnancy?”

You let out an undignified snort of laughter as Oscar gapes at him. “Don’t look at me, Charles carried you for nine months himself.”

“What?” Ollie whips his head around to stare at Charles in abject horror.

Charles just grins, slinging an arm around each of their shoulders. “You heard the woman. My body is a wonderland.”

“Oh my god.” Oscar buries his face in his hands as you dissolve into peals of laughter. “Why are you like this?”

“Because it’s fun to watch you squirm,” Charles replies cheerfully.

You wipe tears from your eyes as you head back into the kitchen. “Dinner’s just about ready, come grab a plate! Oh, and pray you don’t get food poisoning.”

Soon you’re all settled around the balcony table, tucking into plates piled high with food. Ollie kicks things off by turning to you with a smile.

“This is amazing, thanks for cooking!”

“Don’t thank me, it was all Charles this time,” you say, gesturing to your husband sitting across from you.

Ollie’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You cooked all this? Damn, maybe having you as a dad won’t be so bad after all.”

Charles throws his hands up in mock offense. “Hey! I’ll have you know I’m an excellent father.”

“If you say so.” Ollie smirks, shoveling another forkful of pasta into his mouth.

Oscar just shakes his head in amazement. “I still can’t believe you actually went through with adopting us.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Charles leans back in his chair, casual as can be. “You’re both great kids. Perfect sons.”

“Even if we didn’t ask for it?” Ollie points out around a mouthful of food.

You tsk disapprovingly. “Mind your manners, young man.”

Ollie’s eyes go comically wide and he quickly swallows his bite. “Sorry, mum.”

That sets you and Oscar off into another round of laughter. Even Leo gets in on the action, letting out a little bark from where he’s curled up nearby. Charles watches the scene with fondness.

“See, you’re already fitting right in,” he says warmly once the laughter subsides. “My two idiot sons.”

Ollie opens his mouth to retort but you cut him off, leaning across the table to affectionately pat his hand.

“Don’t listen to your father, Ollie. We’re happy to have you both here.” You shoot Oscar a wink. “Even if you did get adopted under … unusual circumstances.”

“You can say that again,” Oscar mutters, but he’s smiling.

Over the course of the evening, you take great delight in watching Charles easily slip into the role of devoted dad. He makes terrible jokes and embarrassing comments at every turn, clearly intent on annoying his new children as much as humanly possible. Yet it’s impossible to miss the deep well of affection beneath his teasing words and actions.

For their part, Oscar and Ollie play along enthusiastically. They roll their eyes and groan as if put-upon, but you can see the sparkle of happiness and contentment in their eyes as the night wears on. An easy camaraderie develops between the trio, fueled by plenty of back-and-forth needling and good-natured ribbing.

You sit back and watch it all with a permanent smile etched on your face. Your strange little family just keeps growing, and you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

At one point, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. When you return, the three of them have their heads bent together conspiratorially, hastily falling silent when you reappear.

“What’s this?” You raise an eyebrow as you retake your seat. “Am I being left out of the loop here?”

Oscar shares a look with Charles before turning to you with a sly grin. “We were just thinking ...”

“This family isn’t quite complete yet,” Ollie picks up easily.

You glance between them, utterly perplexed. “What are you two on about?”

Rather than answer, Charles pulls out his phone and starts typing furiously. A few moments later, your own phone buzzes with a Twitter notification — a new tweet from your husband.

Your jaw drops as you read the words over and over. “Charles! You can’t be serious!”

“Why not?” He shoots you an impish grin, clearly reveling in your stunned reaction. “Kimi’s a good kid, he’d make an excellent addition to the family.”

“I … you ...” You sputter, completely at a loss for words.

Oscar and Ollie watch the exchange with matching looks of unrestrained glee. Ollie raises his glass in a mock toast.

“To Mum and Dad, the most extra parents on the grid!”

You shake your head in bewildered amusement as they all crack up. This family just gets more ridiculous by the day.

A short while later, Kimi responds to Charles’ tweet.

The notification sets off another round of laughter and delighted hollering from the three drivers. You hide your face in your hands, torn between mortification and hysterical giggles.

“I can’t take you three anywhere,” you mutter, though you’re smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

A warm arm wraps around your shoulders as Charles leans over to press a smiling kiss to your temple. “But you love us anyway.”

You catch his gaze, momentarily speechless by the contentment shining in his eyes. For all the silliness and absurdity, it’s clear just how much this strange little family truly means to him.

Swallowing past the sudden lump in your throat, you reach up to cup his cheek tenderly. “More than you’ll ever know.”

He beams at you, pure adoration written across his features. Then the moment is broken as an Italian-accented voice rings out from the hallway.

“Hey, did someone call for a new son?”

Oscar, Ollie, and Charles practically tumble over each other in their haste to greet the newcomer. You hang back, taking a moment to catch your breath as you watch the now quartet bound back onto the balcony, a fresh wave of chaos and noise in their wake.

One thing’s for certain — life is never going to be boring with this group around. You shake your head with a soft chuckle, heading back to join your one-of-a-kind family.

[hwas]

now that I have dumbbells and a yoga mat your girl is gonna get ripped 💪💥😈

[sleepymarimo]

𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕤!

summary: the monster trio's reaction to hearing you say their name in your sleep pairing(s): luffy x gn!reader, zoro x gn!reader, sanji x gn!reader cw: none!

luffy

it was rare, but it happened. luffy had gone off to roughhouse with usopp and chopper on the deck, leaving you with his precious hat. the responsibility was heavy on your shoulders and you barely had time to ask if he was sure before he ran in the opposite direction, laughing and looking back at you with a grin. "i know you'll take good care of it!"

that was about an hour ago, and you had done your damn best to make sure that the sacred straw hat was secure and in prime condition.

at some point though, the gentle rocking of the thousand sunny along with the overcast weather had you nodding off. you fought to stay awake, but ultimately found yourself dozing off against the railing.

with the straw hat nestled in your arms, your head rolled to the side, you slept.

luffy ended up returning to your spot a few minutes later, eagerly yelling your name until his mouth slammed shut at the sight of you sleeping so peacefully with his straw hat. he seems a little confused at first, head tilting as he looked down at you. "hm? you're tired?"

a toothy grin forms on his face as he steps closer, squatting down so he was eye level with you. the sight of his hat in your protective embrace makes him feel especially warm and he knows he made the right choice in entrusting it to you. his hand reaches for the hat, but as soon as his fingers brush against it, your hold tightens. your brows furrow and you grumble something before your face softens once more.

"no..." you mumble, bringing the hat closer to your heart. "s'for luffy... gotta...take care of it."

when he hears your 'no', he wants to pout, because it's his hat! however, when he catches the rest of your muttered words, his expression shifts into one of utter joy. a gleeful chuckle rings through the air and he can't help himself from waking you.

his arms wrap around your sleeping form and bring you in for a bone crunching hug, a yelp of surprise leaving you as you're rudely awakened. "what? what happened?" you ask, still disoriented and confused.

"nothing!" luffy responds, taking the hat from your hands and slamming it onto your head with a child-like excitement. "let's go eat!"

zoro

you had a long day, worse than usual. stressed out and in need of some time to yourself, you made your way up to the crow's nest where you plopped down onto one of the workout benches. your ever racing mind, plagued with what ifs and unnecessary worry, eventually settles down enough for you to fall asleep as you turn onto your side and doze off.

a while later, zoro heads up there to do some training.

when he noticed you sleeping, zoro simply shrugged and headed towards some dummies so he could practice his three sword style. clearly you were just napping, and he wasn't going to interrupt or tell you to get out.

he gets a few hits in, deliberately making his stabs and swings a tad quieter in a bid to respect your sleeping arrangement, when he suddenly hears his name being called. thinking that he had been too loud, he sheathes his swords and lets out a disgruntled sigh. he could only be so quiet as he trained, and he assumed that you were gonna chew him out for waking you.

however, when he turns, he sees that your eyes are still shut. not only that, but your brows are furrowed and your once neutral expression is twisted into one of slight fear. he takes a few tentative steps toward you, unsure of how to handle whatever it is that's happening.

your breaths quicken. "stop it..." you whine, your body tensing slightly as you curl further in on yourself. "zoro... help..."

his brows shoot up in surprise when his name tumbles past your lips, heat creeping up his neck and to the tips of his ears. he feels awkward and out of place, though he can't deny the fact that he's flattered and a bit satisfied that, even in your sleep, you count on him to protect you.

he clears his throat, gaze sweeping across the crow's nest to make sure it was empty before hesitantly reaching a hand out. "oi, i'm here." he begrudgingly and affectionately grumbles, pink dusting his cheeks as his hand settled atop your head. "quit whinin'."

your response is almost immediate, your breaths evening out and your expression softening. he scowls and looks away, not believing that this was happening. yet, as he gets back to training, he makes sure to keep an ear out for you, occasionally talking to your sleeping self just so you could hear his voice. 

sanji

you didn't mean to fall asleep in the dining room.

something had you feeling restless, so you took it upon yourself to make a cup of tea before sitting at the dining room table to enjoy it. you didn't expect the tea to be so effective, yet here you were, arms crossed on the table and your cheek squished against the wood.

before the sun had a chance to peek over the horizon, sanji was up and preparing to head to the kitchen. with some extra plates and utensils in his hands that he brought from storage, he made his way down to the dining area.

when he notices you slumped over the table, his expression morphs into one of surprise and then to worry. he's quick to set down the silverware and make his way towards you, about to ask you what was wrong when he noticed your even breaths and peaceful expression.

ah, you were just sleeping. his eyes shine with amusement and admiration, his fingers twitching as he fights the urge to reach out and touch you. instead, he focuses his attention on your mug, his hand curling around the handle before bringing it up to his nose to take a quick inhale. the scent of chamomile and passionflower have him letting out a soft exhale of approval.

"you're gonna have to give me the recipe for this one, mon chérie." he smiles, taking a step back to head to the kitchen.

then, he hears it. a tired huff, as if you were debating with someone in your dream. "no... it's sanji... s'the best chef" you sleepily argue. "s'the best food... ever."

oh, he just melts. his head feels so light from your praise. he practically floats back to you, hearts in his eyes as he fights to keep his tone quiet. "mon chérie, do you really like my food so much that you dream about it?"

he continues to swoon over your sleeping self, his spirit light, when the sound of your grumbling stomach echoes throughout the dining hall. the blond is torn between waking you and preparing you something to eat.

he bends down slightly until he's at your level, before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. his free hand plucks the cigarette from his lips and he gently brings his mouth to your ear, lightly saying your name. "what's your favorite breakfast?"

a happy, genuine smile forms on his face when you actually mumble out an answer. when you wake up and your favorite breakfast is served on a plate in front of you, it's like a dream come true.

[rodrifc]

oh yeah the solid 4.5 hours of sleep is already kicking my ass

[falltoodeepinmymetaphor]

DON'T SMILE

been very busy lately but hopefully ill manage to release more serious content in a bit !

You’d been scrolling TikTok late at night when you stumbled across the trend. People handing their unsuspecting partners a folded-up note with a very suggestive message: “If you don’t smile, I’ll give you the sucky sucky tonight ;>”

Your first thought? Simon would kill me.

Your second thought? Worth it.

You knew Simon was a man of composure, but getting under his skin, and trying to get him to crack, was one of your favorite pastimes.

Dirty jokes, double entendres, inappropriate timing. You had an arsenal of ways to make him groan or roll his eyes.

By the time he got home, you’d already set up the trap.

Your phone was propped up discreetly on the bookshelf in the corner, angled perfectly to catch his reaction.

You grabbed a scrap of paper, scrawled the infamous words with a sly flourish, and folded it up neatly.

When you heard his heavy boots coming down the hall, you called out, “Simon!”

“What?” His gruff response echoed back, as no-nonsense as ever.

“Come here!” you chirped, voice dripping with sweetness.

His hulking figure appeared in the doorway moments later, mask in place, sleeves rolled up from whatever hellish workout he’d just endured. He stopped short, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“What do you want?”

“Just this!” You shoved the note at him with a grin, practically vibrating with anticipation.

He didn’t take it at first, instead fixing you with that look that said he knew you were up to something.

Slowly, almost begrudgingly, he snatched the paper from your hand and unfolded it.

You watched his eyes dart across the words. Once. Twice. His expression didn’t budge. Not a single twitch, no smirk, no sharp exhale. Nothing. He just stood there, holding the note, his gaze as unreadable as ever.

Your excitement faltered. “...Well?” you prompted, leaning forward like that might help him crack.

Simon’s eyes flicked briefly to the corner of the room where your phone was clearly set up and recording. His gaze returned to yours and slowly, deliberately, he tilted his head.

“I didn’t smile, no?” His voice was low, almost lazy, like he already knew exactly how this was going to end.

You hesitated. “Uh... no?”

There was a flicker of amusement in Simon’s eyes as he folded the note back up with the kind of care that was meant to drive you mad.

He didn’t look at you right away, just rolled the paper between his fingers like he was deciding what to do with it.

“You gonna keep your promise, love?” he asked, finally lifting his gaze.

Your stomach flipped, and you tried to shrug like you weren’t already starting to squirm. “It was a joke, Simon,” you said, forcing out a laugh. “You know, a joke. Ha-ha funny. You’re supposed to laugh and move on.”

He tilted his head, watching you like a hawk sizing up a very nervous rabbit. “I don’t think I’m laughing.”

Your mouth opened, ready to snap back, but then he pocketed the note with an infuriating nonchalance and unfastened his belt.

You blinked. “What are you doing?”

His hands worked methodically, pulling the belt free and holding it in one hand as he stepped toward you.

“Well,” he said, dragging the word out just enough to sound smug, “I’m tired. And you did say- what was it? ‘If you don’t smile, I’ll-’”

“Alright, alright!” you cut in, heat flooding your face. “It’s not legally binding!”

Simon let out a short laugh, shaking his head like you were the ridiculous one. “Didn’t realize you were the type to back out of a deal.”

You took a step back as he moved closer, until your shoulders hit the wall. “It wasn’t a deal!”

“Oh, it was written down. That counts for something.”

He dropped the belt onto the nearby chair, leaning one hand against the wall beside your head as his eyes drifted lazily to the phone you’d set up. The damn thing was still recording.

His gaze flicked back to you, a smirk playing on his lips now. “So, this was the plan, huh? Thought I’d blush? Stammer? You were gonna put me on the internet looking like some poor, flustered sod?”

“I didn’t think this far ahead,” you admitted, trying to duck under his arm, but he stepped in closer, blocking your escape.

“No kidding.”

You groaned, feeling your face burn as his other hand came up to pluck a strand of hair off your shoulder, his movements far too relaxed. He was enjoying this, dragging it out, and you were absolutely furious with yourself for thinking this would go any other way.

“You’re such an ass,” you muttered.

“I am,” he said, letting his hand drop to his side, “but you thought you’d win. Cute, really.”

You rolled your eyes. “You know, I could just delete the video.”

He turned his head to look at the phone again, then reached out and grabbed it in one quick motion.

“Simon!”

Too late. He angled it toward himself, replaying the footage with a flick of his thumb. You could hear your voice echoing from the tiny speaker, your awkward laugh and poorly delivered excuses making him snort.

“This is pathetic,�� he said, not even looking at you as he tapped the screen.

“Give it back!” you lunged for the phone, but he lifted it out of reach without any effort.

“You’re keeping this,” he said, his tone smug. “Perfect reminder of the time you tried to play me and lost.”

“Simon-”

He turned off the recording and tossed the phone back onto the shelf like it didn’t matter anymore. “Go on, love. Post it. Let the world see how terrified I was.”

You glared at him, arms crossed, trying to will away the flush on your face. “I hate you.”

“Don't hate me because you’re predictable.”

He stepped back, grabbed his belt from the chair, and shot you a pointed look before turning toward the door.

“Oh, and for the record,” he added, glancing over his shoulder, “still didn’t smile.”

---

Dinner was over, the dishes were stacked in the sink, and the house had settled into a quiet calm.

Simon had made his way to the couch after his obligatory grunt of appreciation for the meal, his usual way of saying thank you.

Now, he was stretched out, one arm slung lazily over the backrest, the other holding a cold beer as the TV hummed softly in the background.

It was football, Chelsea versus Manchester, and, judging by the occasional grunt of approval or muttered curse under his breath, Simon was just engaged enough to care.

You leaned in the doorway, watching him for a moment. You considered not following through but, well, you were someone who kept their word.

He rarely let himself relax like this. He still wore his joggers and that old, slightly too-tight T-shirt that clung to his shoulders and chest but rode up just enough to show the soft curve of his belly when he shifted.

The sight of his happy trail peeking out where the fabric lifted made something stir deep in your chest. Or lower.

He caught you staring.

“What’re you up to?” he asked, though his attention was still half on the screen, his eyes half-lidded and heavy with the kind of lazy contentment that came after a full stomach.

You didn’t answer, not with words anyway. Instead, you padded over, slipping onto the couch beside him, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body.

He raised a brow at you but didn’t protest when your hand wandered to his thigh, fingers tracing lazy circles over the soft material of his joggers.

“Oi,” he said, his tone half-hearted. “Match is on.”

You ignored him, shifting to straddle one of his legs as you leaned in closer, your hands drifting upward.

The hand that had been holding his beer came down to rest on your hip, his fingers flexing instinctively as you worked your way higher, fingers slipping under the waistband of his joggers.

“Still watching?” you teased, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

His eyes flicked to you, the usual sharpness dulled by the beer and the game. “You’re not gonna let me, are you?”

You smirked, tugging gently at the band of his boxers. “Not a chance.”

He sighed like he was put-upon, but there was a slight upward twitch of his lips as he leaned back against the cushions, his body going slack. “Go on, then. Don’t let me stop you.”

Taking that as permission, you slid his joggers and boxers down enough to expose him, the soft, warm skin of his stomach rising and falling under your touch. His happy trail led downward, drawing your attention like a line you were all too eager to follow.

Simon didn’t say much as you leaned in, pressing kisses along his lower stomach, but you felt the subtle shift in his breathing, the tightening of his hand on your hip.

His body wasn’t all hard lines and sculpted muscle. He carried himself like a man who’d earned his softness, a blend of broad strength and the comfortable weight of someone who lived his life without worrying about perfection.

As your mouth traced along his happy trail, Simon’s head tilted back against the couch. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment before opening again, lazy and half-lidded as he glanced down at you.

His cock began hardening against your cheek, the sight of it making your mouth water. His hand found your jaw, his grip firm, tilting your head just enough for him to guide you where he wanted.

You started slow, dragging your tongue along his length, tracing the veins and swirling around the tip.

A low, throaty groan slipped from him, his hips shifting slightly as he watched you through hooded eyes. His thumb pressed into the curve of your cheek, his grip a little rougher now, sending a rush of heat through your core.

"Don't tease," he muttered, his voice carrying just a hint of warning as his hand tightened on your jaw, holding you steady.

You smirked up at him, letting your lips wrap around the tip, taking him in shallowly before pulling back just to feel the weight of his cock against your tongue.

The way his grip shifted on your jaw, the small hitch in his breath, told you he wasn’t going to let you set the pace for long.

“Enough of that,” Simon said, his thumb brushing along your cheek briefly before he used his grip to push you down onto him. His hips lifted slightly, and he groaned as you took him deeper.

You let him guide you, your hands resting on his thighs for balance as he started to control the rhythm. His cock filled your mouth, stretching your lips as he pushed in further, groaning when he felt your throat flex around him.

His grip on your jaw was firm, his thumb and fingers pressing into your skin as he moved you exactly the way he wanted.

"That's it," he murmured, his eyes fixed on the way your mouth worked over him, your lips wet and swollen as you hollowed your cheeks. His hips rolled in time with your movements, each thrust deliberate, controlled. "Look at you. Taking it so well."

Your throat burned slightly as he pushed you down to the base, holding you there for a moment before letting you pull back just enough to breathe. He groaned again, low and guttural, as your tongue dragged against him on the way up.

“Fuck, love,” he hissed, his grip tightening as he pushed you back down, forcing you to take him again. Simon's movements grew rougher, his control slipping as he used your mouth for his own pleasure.

His stomach tensed, the soft curve of it flexing each time his hips lifted off the couch.

You looked up at him through your lashes, meeting his gaze as you let him drive himself deeper.

The sight of his half-lidded eyes, the flush creeping up his neck, made you squeeze your thighs together. He was unraveling, and you loved every second of it.

Simon’s jaw clenched, his fingers flexing against your jaw as he thrust into your mouth one last time, groaning deeply as his head tipped back against the couch.

His grip on you eased, his hips slowing as he pulled you off him, letting you catch your breath.

Simon smirked, thumb brushing over your swollen lips. “Knew you’d be good for me.."

[transformation4life]

Big Ol' Gains

(Trade with: @bigwishes)

I never understood why my body just wouldn't grow. I've been going to the gym for months now and my body hasn't reflect that at all! My chest is flat, no abs to be seen, and twigs for arms! It's just not fair. I see the big guys around my local gym and I get so jealous... But that changes today! I found something that will most definitely change that. It's called... "Big Ol' Protein". I found an ad for it that promised results or my money back and I couldn't resist guaranteed gains. I even paid for express shipping so it arrived before my next workout. i waited patiently by the door until i heard a bell ring and the box arrived. I was so giddy that I unboxed it and looked at it in awe. The first thing in the box was some sort of warning and side effects of using the protein but like I care! I make a shake and put it in the fridge for tomorrow. I'm gonna get some gains!

The next morning I wake up bright and early and grab my workout bad along with my shake arriving at the gym soon after and dousing the shake in one sitting before getting on with my routine. Compared to my last gym session this time it felt amazing! Maybe this stuff actually worked! I was dripping in sweat and felt like I had the best pump of my life. I looked down and it looked like I've gained some bulk! It worked! I just need to consume more of this stuff and I'm set.

One week later...

God, this stuff really works... I've gained so much bulk in just a week. I even took a selfie to commemorate. The first I've taken since I've started working out!

I wasn't expecting to start growing facial hair but maybe it's the extra testosterone in my veins and I'm definitely not complaining. I could even fear my rear and "down there" growing... For the first time other gym goers have asked ME for advice and even seasoned gym goers want to talk to me! My life is finally coming around! Although I still need to get bigger... I'm not done yet...

Three weeks later...

I can't get enough of Big Ol' protein I've started putting it in my food and day to day drinks. A meal without Big Ol' protein is a meal not worth eating. I've gotten some friends who want to bulk up just like me and are happy to take progress photos for me. Don't I look even huger than last time?

Every part of my body has bulked immensely since I started. Just looking at anything is euphoric. My legs are like two thick trunks of pure beef.

Some of my workout buddies are getting concerned with how much Big Ol' protein I've been consuming, but they just don't understand the grind of getting big. My rear has also blossomed into two bouncy balloons of pure muscle. I can't help but give 'em a squeeze.

With that mind however I must do whatever it takes to get big. Nothing else matters. I must get bigger... I need to get BIGGER.

Three months later...

It's been so long since Big Ol' Protein changed my life. All my clothes are getting too small for and I couldn't be happier to find that out. I live, breathe, and of course eat Big Ol' Protein. Testosterone is flowing through my veins and it's exhilarating. I don't care if I'm addicted I love it almost as much as my gains. I'm even sponsored by the company now it's great! My workout buddies look at me in awe now and I'm basically the kind of my gym now. People fawn over to me asking for advice. All I say is start consuming Big Ol' protein. God I love my big Bulking body more than anything, but I'm not done. I will never will be done. I need to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And also a flex wouldn't hurt.

"Fuck yeah look at those biceps..."