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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 4 years ago

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Words: 6,962 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria Warnings: Language, typical TWD stuff A/N: This is part of a series! Find the previous parts on the Masterlist! Summary: Denise asks Y/N to find some much needed medical supplies. Y/N and Daryl head out on a supply run.

Your name: submit What is this?

You and Daryl both healed up from your close call outside the walls and soon you were making scavenge runs and hunting together again. Things in Alexandria went on routinely for some time until one evening when there was a knock on your door and Denise was standing on the front mat.

“Denise, hey,” you said. “Come in.”

She was wringing her hands a little anxiously. “Hi.”

You could easily read the worry on her face. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

She sighed and adjusted her glasses, a nervous habit. “I’m fine but I have a huge favor to ask you.”

“What do you need?” you interrupted. Your expression was intense.

Denise gave you a hesitant look and pulled a list out of her back pocket. “I know this is asking a lot but—I don’t think you’re going to be able to find all this stuff outside of a hospital.”

You gulped but looked it over, nodding. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Y/N, I—”

“Hey. I’ll get it. It’s okay,” you reassured her. “I’ll leave early tomorrow.”

“You’re not going alone?” she asked urgently.

You shook your head, folding the list up again. “No. I’ll ask Daryl.”

Denise’s expression morphed from concern to a knowing smile, but she caught herself and quickly tried to hide it. “Oh. Daryl. Good,” she said. You glanced up at her, your lips pressed together in a thin line. She laughed and held her hands up, palms out. “I didn’t say anything!” You rolled your eyes.

“Would you just stop with that? We—we’re just good friends.”

“Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that,” she said in an undertone, turning back to the front door, resting her hand on the handle. She glanced over her shoulder at you again and her expression was once again serious. “Thank you,” you said.

“Of course. We’ll get what you need. Don’t worry.”

As soon as Denise left you made your way across the street and knocked on the front door of Daryl’s house, shuffling your feet a little nervously. Rick answered it with a curious expression.

“Hi, Rick. Is Daryl around?”

“I think he’s up at Aaron and Eric’s. He said something earlier about changing the oil in his bike.”

“Okay, thanks.” You turned to leave but Rick called you back. You watched with a little apprehension as he closed the door behind himself and stepped out onto the porch toward you.

His thumbs were looped into his belt, one foot sticking out toward you.

Your pulse started to race a little with nerves.

“Listen, I know we haven’t spent much time around each other but I wanted you to know that you’re real important to Daryl—anybody can see that. You two have already been through some things together. And that makes you family. So, if there is anything you ever need, you can rely on any of us.”

You stared back at him in some disbelief trying to come up with something to say, but you mostly failed. You gulped at the nervous tightness in your throat. “Thanks.”

Rick nodded. “Sure. Alright. We’ll see ya.” You nodded and turned away from the sheriff, puzzling over his willingness to invite you into the fold so readily.

You jogged up the street, your eyes fixed on the distant glow of orange light spilling out of Aaron and Eric’s garage. You found Daryl standing at one set of shelves along the wall, replacing some tools. He hands were gray with dirt and oil and his toned arms were glistening with sweat.

“Hey,” you said. Daryl turned and glanced at you, one corner of his mouth twitching upward reflexively at the sound of your voice.

“S’goin’ on?” he asked, easily reading the seriousness on your face.

You pulled the small folded piece of paper out of your back pocket and held it out. “We’ve got a job. Denise just came to see me.”

Daryl’s brow furrowed and he pulled the red rag out of his back pocket to wipe off his hands before taking the paper from you and unfolding it. His blue eyes scanned the list and he nodded. “Alright.”

“We’re gonna have to go to a hospital to get a lot of this stuff,” you said apprehensively. The archer nodded and handed the list back to you.

“So, we go to a hospital,” he drawled. “Ya know of any where ya think we could still find supplies?”

You licked your lips nervously. “Yeah. But it’s not—the med centers were ground zero before anybody knew any better. There’s a reason this one still has supplies and hasn’t been picked clean. It’s full of walkers.”

Daryl paused thoughtfully, his eyes narrowed a bit in concentration. “We’ll figure it out. If anyone can do it, it��s you and me, right?” He said, giving you a half-smile, that boyish quirk of his lips.

There were still worry lines on your forehead.

“Hey. We’ve got this,” Daryl said. “Ya think we should take more people? Glenn and Rick, maybe?”

You sighed heavily and thoughtfully ran a thumb over your lower lip, something you did often when you were thinking which Daryl found extremely distracting. “Honestly, the fewer of us the better probably. Keep it as quiet as possible. In and out.”

Daryl nudged his nose up at you in a nod. “Alright. In and out,” he agreed. “We can take my bike. Leave at sun up.”

You nodded. “Okay. I’ll get some gear together,” you said.

Daryl nodded. “Meet ya outside in the morning,” he said. “Hey. Try and get some damn sleep,” he said.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

The next morning the two of you met in the middle of the road that separated your houses just as the sun was starting to break over the horizon, each with a pack slung over your shoulders. Daryl had his crossbow and you had your recurve bow. “Armory first, then we’ll grab my bike,” Daryl drawled, leading the way to the armory with long strides. You had a sick feeling in your stomach, nervous about the day’s task. Daryl seemed to be able to sense your mood and he glanced back at you. “We’re gonna be fine. And we’re gonna get everything on that list and more,” he said strongly.

You felt the knot in your stomach loosen a little and nodded. “Yeah,” you said.

After grabbing your weapons of choice from the armory, you swung a leg over Daryl’s bike and settled in behind him, your nerves surging again as you wrapped your arms around him to hold on, feeling the strong muscles of his back and stomach. You gulped. Daryl felt like he was about to lose his mind with your arms around him.

The bike roared to life and you were off.

The first part of the trip was uneventful. You directed Daryl to the hospital you had in mind and the bike came in handy as you had to wind through the ruins of gridlocked traffic on what had once been a busy highway. You had parked the bike and hidden it and walked the rest of the way to the medical center on foot, sneaking quietly and hoping you wouldn’t run into any walkers or, maybe worse, people.

“That’s it,” you said, pointing ahead to a tall building down the block. He nodded and continued to lead the way, snaking between cars and debris. Soon you approached the sliding doors of what had been the emergency room entrance. Daryl shouldered his bow and glanced back at you.

“Cover me while I pry these open,” he muttered. You nodded and readied your bow, sweeping your eyes inside beyond the doors for any movement and then back over the cityscape behind you.

Daryl got the doors open and nudged his head toward the interior, putting his crossbow back up to his eye as he gazed over the atrium in front of you. When he was sure it was clear he lowered his bow and moved behind you to shut the doors again. “Don’t want anything followin’ us in here,” he said.

Your eyes were anxiously darting over the space in front of you. “Or anyone,” you murmured.

“Mhm,” Daryl hummed, rejoining you. “Ya have any idea where to look for this stuff?”

“Um.” You walked over to a directory on the far wall. “Well, we need to find a drug cabinet or pharmacy for the antibiotics and other medications and a supply closet for everything else.” You glanced up the hallway to your left. “I guess we just pick a direction and start sweeping?”

“Sounds like as good a plan as any,” he whispered back. “C’mon.”

You followed behind him and moved up the hallway. You managed to locate a medication locker and shortly after a drug dispensary or pharmacy. You loaded your packs with as much medication as you could, leaving room for the other supplies. Daryl also found a cloth tote bag and filled it up with anything he thought would be useful. So far you hadn’t met with any walkers. It seemed far too quiet and it was causing your apprehension to grow.

Daryl stepped back into the hallway and cleared both directions. “Now we just need to find a supply closet,” he said. He nudged his head toward the other end of the hallway and you followed behind him silently.

“Doesn’t this feel a little too easy to you?” you said, finally speaking your fears.

Daryl looked back at you and nodded. “Yeah. Where are all the damn walkers?”

You continued down the hallway until you found a closed door with a placard beside it that said ‘Supplies.’ “Hey,” you whispered, drawing Daryl’s attention. You tried the handle and swore under your breath. “Locked.” You swung your pack down and dug in the front pocket. “I can pick it. Just cover me.”

Daryl stood guard while you slid the two tools into the key hole, prodding the pins methodically until you heard the characteristic click of completion. You shot a satisfied smile over at Daryl and pushed the door in, shining your flashlight onto the shelves lining the walls. “Fuck.”

They were barren.

Daryl shook his head and sighed. “Guess we try up a level?”

You grabbed the one lone pack of sterile IV tubing left and shoved it into your bag. “I guess so.”

“C’mon. Stairs this way.” You ghosted behind Daryl’s broad-shouldered frame until he paused in front of the stairway door and peeked through the window. It looked empty. He opened it as silently as possible, straining his hearing.

You stepped in after him, climbing the stairs, sweeping behind you with your light every once and a while. When you reached the next floor, Daryl froze and looked back at you with a furrowed brow. You gave him a questioning glance. “Door’s barricaded,” he muttered.

You sighed. “Should we just try the next level up?”

He shrugged and started to climb again, but when you arrived on that floor you saw that it too was barricaded from the other side. “Shit. What do you want to do?” you asked him. He chewed his bottom lip nervously for a moment, shining his flashlight through the small window and looking at what was blocking the door.

“Fuck it,” he said, slinging his bow over his shoulder. “Who knows how many of these damn doors are blocked. Some assholes probably thought they could outlast this thing.”

“Or they thought someone was coming for them,” you said. “The army.”

Daryl turned the handle and heaved his shoulder into the door. The heavy metal cabinet on the other side began to slide. He tried to move it as steadily and quietly as he could, but it made a harsh scraping noise in the silence. You both froze and listened, but you heard nothing.

Daryl held the door and you squeezed through the opening, turning around to hold it for him as he pushed through. When you turned around again you felt your stomach drop. “Oh, God.”

Blood. And corpses. There were old bloodstains and the bodies looked more like mummies than anything but it didn’t bode well. You exchanged a look with Daryl.

“In and out,” he whispered, nodding. You let out a deep breath, your lungs feeling suddenly tight, and the two of you started creeping down the hallway side by side, sweeping your eyes over each hospital room standing open. “There,” you said, spotting another placard designating another closed door as a supply room. This time the handle was loose as you tried it. You pushed inside and were relieved to see that it looked like it hadn’t been touched. Apparently, any other scavengers hadn’t been brave enough to venture past the barricades. You and Daryl dropped your packs and opened them up, shoving supplies inside and filling them so much you almost couldn’t fasten yours closed.

“Alright,” Daryl rumbled quietly. “Let’s get outta here before our luck runs out.”

You nodded heaving your bag onto your shoulders again with some effort. You were about follow Daryl back to the stairwell when you spotted another window that looked like a dispensary. “Hey. Wait a second. Maybe there are more painkillers in here.” You wandered over and tried to push the metal slatted grate over the window up. It didn’t budge. You went to the door. The handle was loose and you shot Daryl a smile.

But that was when your luck seemingly ran out. You pushed the door open and stepped inside but some water damage from a dripping pipe in the ceiling had rotted out the floor and subfloor. You heard it starting to collapse beneath you and had just enough time to throw your bow behind you and spin around. Daryl’s arms were already out and he grabbed onto you as the floor gave way beneath your feet. You held onto him as tightly as you could and in a moment he hauled you up out of the sudden empty space, your heart pounding out of your chest. The two of you collapsed in a heap on the floor.

But you didn’t have any time to rest or be thankful that you hadn’t plummeted downward. The debris and a heavy shelving unit had fallen with a tremendous crash that reverberated through the building. You scrambled for your bow and adjusted your pack again as Daryl was trying to see if you were alright, but there was a sudden growling and mawing from the other end of the hallway and you both swore.

“Oh, fuck,” you muttered, looking at a stream of walkers coming up the hallway from out of the stairway at the other end of the hall. “I guess that other stairwell wasn’t barricaded.

“Yeah, no shit,” he growled. “C’mon. We gotta get outta here.”

You both made a run in the direction you had come up but as you approached you could see that there were walkers filling that stairwell now too. “Shit! Daryl!”

You spun around looking helplessly at the herd approaching from up the hall. “We’re fucking trapped!” you said desperately, raising your bow and landing an arrow right in the skull of a walker in the lead. It crumpled and slowed the others behind it for a moment.

Daryl heaved the metal cabinet against the stairway door again to close the opening you had created. The dead were pressing against the door. “We ain’t dyin’ here!” he yelled. “C’mon!” he firmly grabbed your arm and pulled you partway up the hall, toward the incoming herd. He threw his shoulder into the nearest closed door and pushed you inside, firing a bolt at a walker who was reaching for him. He rushed in after you and slammed the door closed.

You had already tossed your stuff down and upended a desk and pushed it against the door. Daryl slid a metal cabinet against it too to fortify the barricade.

“Fuck,” you said, bending over with your hands on your knees, your heart absolutely pounding, your chest heaving.

Daryl was pacing around the room and made his way to the windows. “We gotta go. That shit isn’t gonna keep em out forever. Maybe there’s a fire escape we can use.” He looked out the window but saw nothing you could climb down. He rubbed a hand over the stubble on his face and jaw.

The dead were pounding against the door and the growling was reaching deafening heights. Daryl continued to pace like a caged animal, back and forth, looking around desperately. “There’s a door here,” he said, rushing over to it in the middle of the far wall. You retrieved your gear and raced over but watched as Daryl jumped back. “Fuck. Goddamn walkers out there too.” His expression was grim as he resumed his pacing.

You looked around as you heard the desk you had upended shaking with the blows of hungry dead ones against the door. Your eyes raced around the room. You were in some kind of laboratory.

Suddenly, Daryl froze like he had been turned to stone and you felt his eyes on you.

“What?” you urged. He tossed his pack down and drew his knife from its sheath at his hip. “What the hell are you doing?” you asked.

“Ya ain’t dyin’ in here. I’m gonna go out, clear a path, draw ‘em off so you can get out.”

“Like hell you are!”

“It’s the only way,” he growled back. “I ain’t lettin’ ya die in here!”

“And I’m not fucking letting you do this!” you said, grabbing onto his arm firmly. “Daryl, that’s suicide.”

“One of us has to get out with the meds and supplies,” he argued. “People back home need ‘em.”

“You’ve got people back there. If anyone is going to draw them off it should be me. It’s just—it’s just me,” you argued. You saw a fierce flash of fire in his blue eyes.

“Nah. Not happenin’,” he growled. He shook you off his arm. “This is how it’s gotta be.”

“You’re not doing this, Daryl. I’m not letting you. There’s gotta be another way out. There’s gotta be—” you rushed over toward the windows, desperately searching for something he had missed, some magic ladder that had suddenly appeared, anything. “There ain’t no other way out, Y/N! And eventually they are gonna come through!” That’s when your eyes fell on the lab supplies nearby. You looked up with a struck expression on your face. Daryl’s expression morphed from determined stubbornness to confusion. He watched as you threw down your pack and bow and started pulling stuff off the shelves. You threw down some glassware which shattered and started scooping up the shards, not even caring that they were cutting your hands up.

“The hell are ya doin’?” Daryl asked, rushing over and looking down at you like you had lost your mind.

“I’m making a way out,” you said. Daryl watched you mixing chemicals and pouring them into some containers you had found, dropping the broken glass in before carefully measuring out another liquid. You glanced up at him. “I’m—I’m making some nail bombs,” you said matter-of-factly. You got up off your knees on the floor and rushed across the room to a custodial cart you had seen, grabbing a box of screws off it and skidding back over to your area on the floor. “Well, screw bombs actually, I guess.”

“Ya—ya know how to—”

The desk against the door rocked violently and you both looked at it. You turned around and pointed to a table pushed against one wall. “Tip that over. We’re gonna need to hide behind it.”

Daryl heaved the table onto its side. “Ya sure ya know what you’re doin’?” He watched you methodically and carefully putting the finishing touches on the devices in front of you, sweat running down your neck and beading up on your hair line, your chest heaving. You wiped your arm across it.

Your eyes were fixed on them as you stood up with one in your hands, being extremely careful not to tip it. “I know what I’m doing,” you said, not taking your eyes off it. You walked over toward the barricaded door and set it carefully down on the floor. You did the same with another one a bit farther into the room. You glanced back at the archer, your eyes a bit frantic. “When they knock those over—” Daryl understood your meaning. “Help me move this shit,” you said, looking at the furniture blocking the door. You and Daryl heaved it out of the way. You could tell that the door wouldn’t hold much longer.

You rushed back over to the table Daryl had turned over and pulled your pack and bow behind it, along with the two remaining devices you had made. Daryl joined you behind the table. “What about those?” Daryl asked eyeing the bombs uneasily.

“These ones are for throwing,” you said, your eyes fixed on the door across the room. “Any second now,” you thought aloud.

“Ya got a Plan B in case these don’t work?” Daryl asked.

“This is Plan A through Z,” you said. “But they’ll work.”

A moment later there was a splintering of wood as the door gave way to the force of bodies on the other side and a flood of walkers started to enter the room. You hunkered down and plugged your ears. There was a concussive blast and you felt Daryl’s body against yours, sheltering over you as the windows in the room shattered and debris flew, embedding into the table you were using as a shield.

You straightened up, your ears ringing, coughing a little in the dusty and smoky haze in the air. You peeked over the table, Daryl doing the same. Body parts and a red splattering of blood was covering the room. There was a substantial hole where the doorway had been. “Sick,” you said aloud, wincing as some gore that was on the ceiling dripped down onto your shoulder. But you climbed to your feet and grabbed your gear. “Come on. Effective but loud. It’s gonna draw more. We gotta go now.” You thrust one of the remaining devices into Daryl’s hands with an urgent look. “Don’t shake it. Don’t drop it,” you said.

He nodded and followed your lead. As you moved into the hallway you headed for the opposite end, to the stairwell that had the door propped wide open. You could still hear walkers pounding on the other locked door of the room you had just been in, still intent from the sound of the blast.

You both snuck past them and started down the stairs, praying that the rest of the way would be clear. You made it to the ground floor and rushed out into the atrium. Daryl threw some chairs and boxes out of the way. You made a rush toward the sliding doors you had come in through and Daryl immediately started prying them open, handing you the bomb you had given him.

“Oh, fuck. I can hear them. Hurry, Daryl!” you urged. You ran back toward the sound of the walkers.

“The hell are ya doin’?” Daryl shouted over his shoulder, still heaving the doors open.

“Covering our ass!” you yelled. You peeked around the corner into the long hallway and saw a stream of walkers started to fill it. You heaved a breath and tossed one of the bombs, pressing yourself up against the wall and covering your ears against the blast.

Debris flew down the hallway and smoke drifted out. You peeked around the hall again and could see the carnage of the walkers blown all over the walls, floor, and ceiling. More walkers were still coming.

“Y/N! I got it! Let’s go!” Daryl roared. You eyed the last bomb and threw it as far down the hallway as you could, feeling the concussive force from the blast run through you as you ran back to Daryl and slipped out through the front doors. He slammed them shut behind you.

“We gotta get the hell away from here before every goddamn walker in the city shows up,” he said, rushing to put distance between you and the hospital.

“Not exactly subtle, but we’re out,” you gasped as you ran behind him.

You didn’t slow until you made it back to where you had stored the bike, doubling over with a stitch in your side, throwing your gear down and collapsing with your back against the wall. “Oh, shit. Fuck me,” you murmured, clutching at the cramp in your side, pressing your head back against the concrete and shutting your eyes.

Daryl’s chest was heaving from the run but he stared down at you with intense blue eyes. He dropped his pack down beside his bike and knelt down next to you. You felt him there and opened your eyes as he grabbed your wrist gently. “You’re bleedin’,” he said, looking at the cuts and punctures from the broken glass you had handled and from pushing yourself up on the debris of the blasts.

“It’s nothing,” you breathed as he examined each of your palms. He pulled his pack over and dug out some of the gauze you had just scavenged. “Daryl, it’s fine.”

He ignored you and only continued his care in silence, wrapping the gauze around both your palms and tucking the end under to secure it. When he finished, his eyes flitted up to meet yours and there was some unreadable expression in them. “That was too damn close,” he said. He gently grasped your elbow and helped you to your feet.

“Tell me about it,” you murmured in agreement. You looked down at your pack stuffed full of supplies. “But we did it. And we got everything Denise needs.”

Daryl still seemed ill at ease. “Ya wanna tell me how the hell you know how to make a fuckin’ nail bomb?”

You laughed wryly. “You wanna tell me how you ever thought I’d let you go on a goddamn suicide mission?” you said in disbelief. “Jesus, Daryl! Don’t you ever try to pull something like that again, okay?”

He avoided your eyes. “If I have to, I will.”

You felt a twist in your stomach at his words, but the next moment he was simply strapping his pack down on the back of his bike and swinging his leg over, looking back at you expectantly. “C’mon. Let’s get the fuck outta here before it gets dark.”

You pulled back into Alexandria and Daryl stopped his bike in front of the infirmary. Denise came rushing out. “Oh, thank God you’re both okay,” she said in a gasp. “I’ve been going crazy all day.”

Daryl climbed off and helped you do the same. Your heart jumped as he gently closed his hand around yours, being careful to avoid your cut-up palm. “Y/N needs her hands looked at,” he said.

You rolled your eyes. “No, I don’t. They’re fine, Denise.”

She stared at you in concern and adjusted her glasses. “I’ll look them over. How did it go?”

Her question made you and Daryl exchange a glance for a moment. “Oh, God! I asked too much of you,” she said anxiously.

“Hey, we’re both fine. And we got everything on the list,” you said, shouldering your pack more securely. “We just, uhh, had a close call is all.”

Daryl threw one of his pack straps over his shoulder. “Where ya want these, doc?”

Denise wrung her hands but motioned for you both to follow her inside. After dumping out the copious bottles of medication and packs full of supplies on a table, Denise forced you to sit down so she could look at your palms underneath a bright light.

“They aren’t bad at all,” you protested. Daryl was standing nearby with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the wall, making sure you couldn’t leave until you’d been checked over.

“How did this happen?” she asked, turning your hand to catch the wounds in the light.

“She grabbed a bunch of broken glass,” Daryl rumbled from his place against the wall.

Denise gave you a look like you were nuts. “…why?”

You cleared your throat and averted your eyes. “Because I needed it for something.”

She grabbed a tweezers and plucked a shard of glass from one of the wounds dropping it into a nearby metal tray. “For what?”

“Uhh…”

Daryl let out an amused snort from his place against the wall and you were relieved to see that his intensely serious and grim expression had broken. You caught his blue eyes and grinned a little sheepishly. Denise looked over at him too. “What? What’s so funny?”

You stared back down at your palm, feeling those annoying butterflies flitting to life in your stomach again at the boyish half-smile on Daryl’s face. “Nothing. Nothing is funny. Don’t worry about it.”

When Daryl was satisfied that you had been thoroughly attended to, he nudged his nose up at you and you thanked Denise one more time before following him out of the clinic.

“Ya really ain’t gonna tell me how the hell ya know how to make bombs?”

You shrugged. “I was—I was out there alone for a long time,” you said. “I, uhh, familiarized myself with things I thought would be useful.”

One of his eyebrows was quirked up at you but he nodded. “Alright… Smart.” He considered you for a moment. “Hey, why don’t ya come on over and eat somethin’? We usually eat around now. I’m sure somebody has fixed somethin’.”

You gave him a thoughtful look.

Daryl could sense your hesitancy. “Ya even got any food in your house?”

“Yes,” you said, acting affronted.

“What? What have ya got?”

“I’ve got stuff in the freezer!” you said.

“Uh huh. Stuff that ya ain’t gonna thaw out and cook tonight. C’mon. You’re eatin’ with us,” he said. He turned and started in the direction of your houses and you sighed, still feeling a bit apprehensive about the thought of so many people, but you followed behind. Daryl glanced back and felt a sense of relief when he realized you had conceded.

Rick heard the front door open and walked over to see who had just come in. Daryl and, to his surprise, you. “You’re back. And you’re alright?” Rick asked.

“Mhm,” Daryl hummed.

Rick nodded. “Well, you’ll have to tell us all about it.” “Supper?” Daryl asked.

“We were just about to sit down,” Rick replied, looking over Daryl’s shoulder at you as you hovered a little anxiously just behind him. “Good to see you. I hope you’re joinin’ us?” he asked, his eyes moving back to Daryl’s.

“Ya, she is.”

You felt your cheeks redden a bit as Rick glanced back at you. “Well, come on in and grab a spot,” Rick said, giving you a friendly smile. He patted Daryl on the back as he passed him and you trailed behind.

“I’m just gonna go drop my gear downstairs, alright?” Daryl said to you softly. You nodded, but he noted that you looked a little nervous. He gave you a small smile. “They don’t bite. I promise.”

You shot him a look which elicited another half-smile from him. “I’ll be right back.” His broad shoulders disappeared through the doorway to his space downstairs.

You were standing a little awkwardly at the edge of the kitchen, watching the busy scene in front of you as Glenn and Maggie set the table and Carol and Rosita moved food from the kitchen island to the big table. The air was buzzing with happy conversation, warm laughter, and you felt like you were an outsider looking in. Rick sensed your discomfort and came over with Judith in his arms.

“We can be a little much to take at first,” he said kindly. You met his eyes and gave him a hesitant smile. “Judith, will you say hello to our guest? Say hi! Say hi!” he prompted, kissing her cheek and drawing laughter from her. The little girl lifted a hand and waved at you. Rick watched your face light up with the widest smile he’d ever seen you give.

“Hi, Judith,” you said sweetly. “I’m Y/N. It’s very nice to meet you,” you said, reaching out and gently grasping her little hand to give it a shake.

Rick grinned as Judith laughed with her hand in yours. Your eyes were bright and twinkling as you looked at the little girl in his arms. “She’s so precious,” you said softly, catching Rick’s eyes again.

He pressed a kiss to her soft hair and nodded. “She is.”

“Alright, dinner is on,” Carol yelled over the somewhat boisterous noise. “Everybody grab a seat before it’s cold!”

Rick gave you a kind smile and nudged his head in the direction of the table. You followed him over, glancing back at the doorway Daryl had disappeared through and hoping to see him but it was still empty.

You randomly picked a chair between two empty ones and sank down into it. Carl sat down next to you on one side.

“Hi,” he said, giving you a smile. “Y/N, right? Daryl talks about you a lot.”

You felt another flush of heat in your cheeks. “Yeah, that’s me,” you said, definitely feeling out of place. “You’re Carl, right? Daryl talks about you a lot,” you said managing a smile. The teenager grinned. Where the hell was Daryl?

The chair on the other side of you suddenly was pulled out abruptly and it made a loud scraping sound on the wood floor which seemed to draw everyone’s attention, not only you. Most of the conversation in the room quieted. You looked over and watched as a brown-haired man with a mullet sank into the seat, his eyes immediately on you.

“Hello,” he said abruptly. “My name is Dr. Eugene Hermann Porter and I am most pleased to make your acquaintance,” he said eagerly. His eyes were a bit wide and fixed on your face as you stared back at him in surprise. His tone was unique, somewhat flat with a heavy southern accent and oddly formal almost.

You nodded, your own eyes wide as you looked back at him. “Hi,” you said quietly. “I’m, uhh, Y/N…”

“I am fully and completely aware of who you are,” he said. His stare was intense and unwavering and you immediately felt a bit uncomfortable beneath it, tearing your eyes away from his which you could still feel fixated on you.

You glanced around at the others at the table, a little uneasy and definitely trying to avoid Eugene’s gaze, and you saw some trying to stifle laughter at how the self-proclaimed genius was gaping at you. Others were less successful at stifling the laughs and there was certainly some head shaking and amused eye-rolling.

Rosita spoke next, snapping her fingers in Eugene’s direction. “Ey! Eugene! ¡Oye!” His eyes snapped to her face. “What have I told you about the staring?” she snapped. “You’re making her uncomfortable! ¡Basta!”

You noted that he looked chastised and he lowered his eyes to his plate, but continued to steal glances at you that he apparently thought were subtle but which definitely were not.

Abraham put a hand up to his face and shook his head as Sasha, Glenn, and Maggie laughed appreciatively.

“Hey!”

You knew that gruff voice. You looked back and watched as Daryl jostled the chair Eugene was in.

“Get on out. Move,” he said.

Eugene tried to argue. “But I’ve already claimed this spot. There’s a perfectly vacant chair right over—”

“Nah, c’mon. Out,” Daryl snapped again.

Eugene stared at him for a moment, but Daryl’s eyes were unwavering and eventually Eugene quailed beneath the stare, his shoulders slumping, and he moved over one chair. Daryl sank down beside you and gave you a hint of a smile. You returned it eagerly.

Dinner began and was lighthearted as everyone chatted and passed the food around the table. You were accepting a bowl from Carl when he caught sight of the red puncture wounds on your palm. “What happened?” he asked, pointing at your hand. Everyone seemed to immediately key in on the question and be looking your way.

“Oh. Uhh—” You glanced over at Daryl as if for help with an explanation but you were met with no assistance and only a small curve in his lips and his eyes crinkled slightly in amusement. You stared down at the punctures in your palm. “Just—from some broken glass on the run today. It’s nothing,” you said, giving Carl a reassuring smile, your heart pounding in your chest with everyone’s eyes on you.

“Nah, c’mon,” Daryl said, teasing plain in his voice. “Don’t lie to ‘im. He’s just a kid.”

You shot a look at him. “I’m not—That’s what—” You wanted nothing more than to punch him hard in the arm right then.

Daryl took a huge bite of bread and stared back at you. “Lie of omission,” he drawled through his full mouth. “Tell ‘im the whole story.”

He watched you clench your jaw and give him another pointed look. There was a mischievous spark in his blue eyes, fixed steadily on your face, that made it impossible for you to be too genuinely annoyed.

“We want to hear about the run today anyway,” Maggie said. “How’d everything go?”

Daryl obviously wasn’t going to answer so you sighed and nodded, your hands twirling your water glass anxiously. “We… We got everything on the list that the clinic needed,” you said.

“And had some more bad luck with a rotten floor,” Daryl added, glancing over at you. “Seems to be becoming a habit.”

“Daryl said you were going to have to go to a hospital. No walkers? We should go back and clean the place out if we can. Stock up before anyone else gets to the supplies or before we need ‘em,” Rick said.

Your mouth dropped open as you searched for how to respond. “Uhh—no, there—there were walkers…”

Daryl leaned forward with his elbows on the table. You felt the convivial mood in the room darken. “We had a close call,” he rumbled. “Y/N got us out.”

You felt everyone’s eyes on you again and you stared down into your water glass. “It was nothing,” you murmured.

“Nah. It was somethin’,” Daryl insisted. He leaned forward and looked at Carl. “She got those punctures on her hands because she broke a bunch of glass to put in some nail bombs when we were trapped by walkers. Made a way out. Blasted ‘em to hell.”

“Wait—sorry. Did you say nail bombs?” Glenn repeated.

You hazarded a glance at the faces around the dinner table and most of them were staring right back at you, some with unreadable expressions and others with looks of surprise or amazement.

Carl broke the tension. “Heh…cool,” he said with a laugh.

And just like that everyone was letting out relieved laughter. The tension in the room broke and you passed the rest of dinner in more comfort. You didn’t say much, content to keep to yourself and watch the members of Daryl’s group interact with each other.

And Daryl couldn’t stop stealing glances at you the whole time.

You insisted on helping with the post dinner clean-up, feeling somewhat more relaxed after the shared meal. Daryl was sitting in the living room sharpening his knife just for something to do, purposely positioned where his eyes could flit up and find you easily.

Glenn wandered over to the archer, his hands stuffed into his back pockets. Daryl looked up with a question in his eyes.

“What?” he asked, his deep voice heavy with gravel.

Glenn smiled at him and just shrugged. “Nothing. Nothing…” he trailed off. Glenn glanced into the kitchen in your direction and then looked back at Daryl. “Just—life’s short, man. What are you waiting for? Besides, you better hurry before Eugene beats you to it,” he joked.

#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon twd #the walking dead #twd fanfics #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl imagines #daryl dixon x reader #fanfics #writers of tumblr #twd drabbles #daryl dixon series #daryl series #protective!daryl

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canaryatlaw · 6 years ago

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alright. so today was pretty cool. I slept until like 1 I think, then eventually came downstairs and someone had been making waffles, so I checked to see if anyone owned the waffle that had been made and when I received an answer that nobody did in fact own that waffle I ate that waffle. it was a good waffle. I really like waffles, but only really good waffles that are crispy on the outside and still fluffy on the inside. mostly belgian waffles. if I’m at a restaurant that had a belgian waffle on the menu that I’m capable of ordering (like it’s not in the breakfast food section and it’s nighttime) there is a very good chance I will order that waffle. Anyway. After some chatting and milling about of people it was determined that my mom and I were going to go out because I needed to go to Target and she needed to go to Home Depot, and lucky for us the two nearby us happen to be in the same parking lot (there’s also a Best Buy in there). So I got ready and then we drove over, I dropped her at the Home Depot then drove over to the Target and parked. All I needed was Claritin and my over the counter acid reflux med. for a minute I forgot that I wasn’t currently taking Claritin D which needs to be bought behind the pharmacy counter, but lucky for me there was a guy having that exact conversation with the pharmacist when I went over so I was able to realize this without actually saying anything. I grabbed a bottle that has 90 in them because of course buying a lot now is easier in the long run. I then grabbed the acid reflux med and walked to the back of the store where they had their Christmas stuff which would now assumedly be discounted, which it was. So I walked around there for a few minutes until I convinced myself I didn’t need to buy any more candy and walked back to the front of the store. The only other thing I needed to obtain was a gift card for my boy cousin as he just graduated from college and my mom wanted to send him a gift. my brother is going down to North Carolina tomorrow to see them and mostly to work on their home repairs since their entire house got gutted and had to be redone after being flooded during the hurricane. so he’s gonna take the gift card with him. My mom initially wanted like a visa gift card but they didn’t have any that were just visa, so I called my mom and told her this, and she said to just get him a normal one, which I did. I then went to the checkout, and upon hearing how much my total was, I realized that a bottle of 90 Claritin was actually going to be really fucking expensive, but too late to turn back now, so I paid and then while walking out consulted my receipt to confirm that the bottle was in fact $41.99. great. I convinced myself I didn’t want Starbucks, then went to the car and drove back over to the home depot side of the parking lot and waited for my mom to be done. once she came back we returned home and I basically just chilled for a while, until my brother decided we should get food from a place that does poke bowls and sushi burritos. He advised against getting a sushi burrito so I listened for now but will eventually try one I’m sure. I looked at their menu online and found one which only had stuff I can eat/like to eat minus only some spicy mayo, so I told him to get me that sans spicy mayo. he made the order online but was too lazy to actually go pick them up so we had to wait till my younger brother was done picking up his Italian food from the pizza place (before he goes to North Carolina for 10 days with no good Italian food) to pick them up and then bring them back to us. I’d never actually had a poke bowl before either so I was interested to see how it would be. it was pretty good! I was kinda just looking at it all at first and then mixed it up and started eating it. I probably only got about halfway through and put the rest in the fridge for future consumption. After this I returned to my spot on the couch where I had my laptop and was being productive, I should talk about how I was being productive during all of this. First off, I figured out what I have to do to obtain a passport after a very specific circumstance and filled out the proper form for that that I can hopefully just bring to a post office and file. then I also looked up what I needed to transfer to an Illinois driver’s license, since I’ll eventually need to do that at some point and might as well do it sooner being that I’m not working and actually have free time. Then I finally looked up psychiatrists in Chicago and found exactly one that accepted my insurance and made an appointment with them for when I return. I have to remember to get an updated health insurance card from my dad and call my previous/current psychiatrist’s office and ask for my records from them. I really just want a situation where I can be like “here’s the deal, I’ve been stable on these four meds for like 5 years now, I just need you to write the prescription” and hopefully that will be cool when backed up by medical records. So yeah. I was on the couch for a while longer doing all that while my parents watched property brothers, then my mother wanted to see the great british bake off because I had been telling her about it, so I started her on what I experienced as the first season, or what’s called the first season at least on netflix. It’d been quite a while since I’d seen it and I had to look up who won because I had totally forgotten lol. So we watched the first episode of that and that was fun. and then my mom went to bed and it got changed to something else, and I was on the couch a while longer before I went upstairs and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. I do have plans for tomorrow, though I still don’t have to wake up particularly early, but being that it’s now 12:30 am I should probably be getting some sleep. Goodnight babes. Sleep well.

#daily journal #December 2018

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cosmosogler · 7 years ago

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ohh mannn...

i woke up at 8 this morning and just. couldn’t. i emailed my professor and went back to sleep until 9:10 or so.

still didn’t feel rested or in any sort of good mood but i’d arranged to meet with the e&m tutor at 10:40 so i really, really struggled to get ready on time. i forewent packing a lunch, figuring it was spaghetti day anyway, and that i’d just pick up a smoothie for dinner if i needed it. i was still like 10 minutes late to the meeting. i let her know ahead of time...

actually i’ve met this woman before. she’s very kind. she took a look through my notes. “is this your cat?” she asked when she came across one of the two doodles in there. “i like it.”

“thanks,” i said, kinda miserable. i hate people finding my drawings... especially in class note books when they can see i wasn’t paying much attention to the lecture. next to a jumbi, the only other drawing in there that took more than five seconds, i wrote “stop drawing in class” like that makes it any better for an outside observer.

she gave me a basic physics textbooks to work through examples before class so i can follow the lecture easier using my preferred style of taking in information. learning specific cases to see how the process works and what you use it for, and then generalizing. the professor, aside from being intimidating and thoroughly unpleasant to listen to at this point, likes to work in ONLY general cases and doesn’t always state the purpose of the exercise before jumping right in.

that happened for 45 minutes. it felt good to have a direction to move forward in, but also, terrible? because i felt terrible and interacting with a professor and learning something neat didn’t help.

i went down to the office and tried to talk my classmates into getting krishna lunch but none of them were having it. they had their e&m midterm today... jennica wanted to go, and keegan wanted to go, but then keegan’s practice problem was taking too long so jennica changed her mind. and keegan didn’t want to go with only one person i guess. he said never mind.

it actually really... felt bad? like my throat hurt from trying not to try the whole way out the building and out to the road. like this one of very few things that i actually find relaxing and enjoyable got taken away. i know they were worried about their test but shouldn’t they know cramming doesn’t really do anything but make you anxious at this point? i dunno. i was super bummed. i had to really pump myself up to even bother with lunch at all.

i didn’t want to go to a very social gathering place to get lunch by myself so i forgot the spaghet this week and instead got a peanut butter smoothie because i like them and they make me feel better. part of my bad mood was due to hunger it seems like. i got a large because i knew that mediums weren’t always quite enough. but i took one sip of the large and immediately was no longer hungry so that was great. i carried it across campus with me to the pharmacy anyway and tried to get something into my stomach, at least, while listening to the beautiful sounds of elo.

i picked up my meds and that was a bit of money... but they let me get all three of them at once which was actually good. now i don’t have to drop by again next week, which takes like 40 minutes every time i go.

then i ambled over to the group therapy place and i could tell i was gonna be real sick later. but my body had to ache for 80 minutes first. that’s how it goes.

therapy was kinda rough. i felt ill and tired and unfocused. for the first 50 minutes i barely said anything at all. i hopped in eventually saying i couldn’t get anyone to take me seriously. it’s always “you’re so cute” or “so smol” or “precious” or “honey senpai” or “you’re sweet” or “you’re such a straightedge.”

i mean... these are from people i like. sometimes from people i don’t, but... the majority. i’m older than most people in my peer group and i’m still the “smol” one.

i really liked peridot in steven universe. but she’s been turned into the butt of the “smol” joke too and that’s upsetting.

too much to say about that. gotta move on.

we talked about how we all go so fast that we can’t actually process any of our emotions or reactions as we talk about our lives. i proposed that next week we spend the first 45 minutes doing nothing but crying on the floor and then the last 45 minutes actually talking. that got a good laugh out of everyone.

i mentioned it was hard for me to share reactions because i just feel nothing all the time. like my grandma died in january and it didn’t occur to me to cry about it until, like, this saturday. even then it wasn’t sobbing or anything. it was just, “oh. i’m sad now. about that.”

so i said i’d get back to the group leader with my reactions to the group next year.

it’s been... good. to talk to people my own age. who are at the same point, almost, emotionally. people who are grown ass adults and have been grown ass adults for 7+ years and who, despite having serious or absolutely devastating problems, are still doing things about it. because having depression doesn’t mean i am not doing anything about my depression.

there were weird guys in uniform on campus today. i can’t tell if they are with our Very Special Guest who is speaking tomorrow, or if they are undercover cops. i’m guessing they were not white supremacists because there was more than one not white person with them and they looked like they were not trying to be particularly intimidating.

gotta keep in mind that this university is spending over half a million dollars on security for this event. like eight of my students have contacted me about being unable to attend class tomorrow because the road they live on got shut down and they can’t leave.

also gotta keep in mind that they denied him entry at first (due to reasonable safety concerns) but then he sued and the state was all, “free speech is Very Important” and made them let him come and also they had to pay for everything except his rental of the building.

ok yes free speech is very important. but also, not putting your students in danger is very important and they are legally allowed to deny speakers that they think will directly lead to violence happening.

i guess our very special guest could spend all that money he’s not using on security on lawyers instead.

anyway. i walked back to the physics department and i told myself, “i am the- i am great. i’m great at math.” and i kinda laughed at how funny the joke was.

i dunno there’s something a little dissonant about wearing a shirt that says “COOL DUDE” on it and having a low self esteem.

it’s this one. this is the one. the shirt. this is the shirt. it says cool dude.

look ok i aspire to have half the aggressive self confidence that paps has. that is a trait i admire.

look at those dumb basketball shoulder pads. where did he get those? i love them. look how much fun he’s having.

ok anyway fashion aside. i still felt... weak and drained, when i got back to the department. i had indeed been sick after group adjourned. i had about 5 minutes before class. so i went and grabbed my notebook and sat down for class and said “i’m gonna do great” instead of telling the professor i was too sick for class.

i tried something new. i tried listening very carefully to the lecture and only taking notes when i wanted to keep track of a definition or a term he was using. since he was mostly talking theory at this point (for once in his life) it was actually easier to follow than normal. I tried to think about what the variables meant.

i dunno if that’ll help or not.

haha i sent an email in between writing part of this post and i was accidentally capitalizing words there for a few sentences! i had to go back and fix it to look like i’m talking quietly instead of at a normal person volume.

then i festered in the office for a little while before my classmates got out of their exam. suzanne didn’t look so good... even ioannis didn’t finish the last third of the test. basically everyone went home straight away.

EXCEPT. harrison asked why i didn’t go to krishna with him and keegan. i said “what.”

he said he couldn’t find me so he and keegan went to krishna alone. i told him i’d been looking around for people to go for like 30 minutes before i left and that i otherwise wasn’t around much today. i asked when they went. it was shortly after i left.

so he lied to me. he didn’t even bring it up when he’d been in the office for five minutes after the test. like, “oh, hey, i changed my mind, sorry we didn’t catch you on the way out.”

they went and did this thing i love to do with my friends without me specifically after telling me they weren’t going to do it.

i’m not mad at harrison. i didn’t even see him or know he was around, his office door had been closed. it’s never closed when he’s in.

but like... i did tell him i was actually mad for real. i didn’t really have any way to express that though so i just said that was upsetting and then he went home.

i don’t know what to do about that. i don’t want to be passive aggressive but if i bring it up tomorrow it’s just gonna be like, it’s not a big deal.

it shouldn’t matter. i am capable of having a good time by myself. it’s just, it’s not what i was expecting.

aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA my face was healing so good and i accidentally scratched it and now it’s bleeding a little. i don’t know how. the scab wasn’t even there any more. ugh.

i bummed around in the office for just a little while longer, trying to set up a work dropbox so my classmates and i can quickly share notes from class. i fiddled with it until i got frustrated and tired. taylor was around so i was talking to him about how i didn’t really appreciate harrison saying stuff like “ok from now on i’m only going to believe half the things you say.” and then i got onto my health, i think, which prompted me to start talking about my heart. and then that got me onto my christian school experience so i complained about being bullied by my classmates, my classmates’ parents, and my teachers for a little bit.

rebika came in and after a minute she said something like “i don’t like to believe what you say either, i don’t know how to react.”

and i said “yeah, bad things don’t actually happen, since you don’t want them to. it’s ok.”

she said “it’s just awkward.”

i said “that’s fair, if someone started saying the stuff i say to me i wouldn’t know how to react either.”

i biked home and i had so much trouble picking up any speed at all (even downhill, somehow) that it was kind of miserable even though the weather was nice. i could not get my legs to move any faster.

i thought about what i said. people don’t want to believe that bad things happen for real. i find myself thinking that way sometimes too. about other people. about myself. but bad things are real. they happen to real people. they could happen to me. they could happen to you. there’s horrible things happening right now to real people. statistically one unbelievably bad thing will probably happen to everyone.

i’ve just had a lot of them. so it’s hard for young people to get that i guess.

i made chili dogs for dinner because one of the internet people i talk to yesterday was talking about it and i got hungry for them. it was so good. i was up to my wrists in chili. i looked like a toddler who didn’t want to eat their baby food. i had to really struggle to, like, pick up my cup of water to take a drink with my chili hands. i don’t like touching things with gunk on my hands. or having gunk on my hands really.

i washed everything afterward and actually put my god dang dishes in the dishwasher for the first time in like four days. and i RAN A CYCLE!!! HOLY COW!!!!!!!!!! CLEANING MONSTER

i thought about making muffins for my classmates tomorrow but, upon considering that i am very depressed right now, and also that half my classmates aren’t going to want/be able to come to campus, i have decided it might be better to save them for monday instead. thursday night i’ll be too busy studying for quantum, hopefully.

i gave jennica my toolbox since her bike fell apart and i fiddled with the dropbox for a long time. but i didn’t do any studying or grading because i’m too cool for important things like preparing for a very difficult exam i have to take in two days that i don’t like and don’t want to think about.

i uploaded all my notes so far to the database but i was too tired to label all of them so i did nothing instead.

you know. i guess there’s kind of a utility in doing nothing. i don’t know if that’s a good thing or an excuse or what. but. sometimes i feel like any activity at all can lead very quickly and very unexpectedly into “self harm” or worse territory. so i elect instead to do absolutely nothing for long periods of time. i did force myself to at least train one of my pokemon while i, i don’t know, i was barely watching the youtube videos at all. i just wanted to feel like i was accomplishing something by taking a bunch of stuff off my bookmarks because i’d technically looked at it like i wanted when i’d bookmarked it.

i know it’s not really accomplishing anything. but at least there’s less bs cluttering up my bookmarks bar so now it’s easier to see the stuff i actually did want to look at later. like kinesthetic learning strategies.

at least my chili was really good...

oh i figured out a way to get snoopy to stop yowling all night. besides when she hurts herself i guess. i find knots of tangled fur ripped out on the couch and the ottoman and stuff sometimes. and i find her claws on the ground in the morning sometimes. i think she splits them on accident. not sure what’s making them so brittle though.

but anyway just saying “hey snoopy” seems to calm her down a little bit. this morning while i was sleeping in i did get her to actually lay on my bed with me for a while and she seemed to like that until i shifted my weight and bumped her with my foot. but she wasn’t “MAHHHH”ing for that period of time so it’s a success!!!!

i think she’s got mats on her stomach but she won’t let me touch any of that so i can’t really try to brush anything and she just accidentally tears it out sometimes while grooming i guess. she’s only barely started letting me brush around her hips. i’m thinking about taking her somewhere to get her claws and fur trimmed and maybe her teeth cleaned and stuff but i don’t know how much it’ll cost and i don’t know who’s got people who can do cats around here. petco didn’t when we first went...

tomorrow i’m gonna go to a “wellness coaching” event that the counseling center is hosting. even if i don’t learn anything new i need to hear this stuff over and over again or i’m gonna forget it. and maybe getting some professionally-sanctioned attention will help me feel a little better by itself.

i’m kinda bummed because i had time to play with snoopy today, since i got home right before 6, but i just didn’t have any energy i guess.

energy doesn’t seem like the right word to be using. because physically i could technically do it. there’s no sleepiness or anything keeping me from doing it. but if it occurs to me that i could be doing it my brain gives a hard “no.” kinda like with my homework situation!!!!!!!!!!!!

emotional energy? willpower? does it take willpower to NOT do things, like i kinda talked about earlier? what am i spending all my energy on?

most days i think i would explain my energy as being allocated “80% toward not killing myself, 10% toward maintaining myself/my environment, and 10% toward school because that’s all i have left.” but not killing myself isn’t necessarily an active thing i have to do at all times so maybe it’s not taking up all that mental space. i just don’t know. i mean, of course, sometimes it is, but, not always.

it’s 11:20 which is 35 minutes after my “STOP WRITING AND GO TO BED, ASSHOLE” time so i’m going to try to rest i guess. i don’t know if i can teach for four hours straight tomorrow. it’ll be a reduced class size but i still put all my attention on my students for that period of time. maybe i can kinda get them to finish early so i can go to the bathroom before the second two hours at least. guess i’ll just live with it.

#tw self harm #tw suicide #just mentions #other than my face which suffered some minor rage but not as much as usually happens #just gotta tag it every time it comes up you know how it is

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obscurelysevere · 7 years ago

Text

1. What was on your mind mostly today?

My upcoming birthday party. ^-^

2. If someone looked on your bed, what would they find?

A couple of pillows and Frank.

3. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?

I have to go to the dentist. Yaaaay.

4. Are you nice to everyone?

I try my best to be.

5. Is it possible to be single and happy?

Of course it is.

6. Is it easy for people to make you cry?

No.

7. Did you sleep alone last night?

I always do. Save for my kitties.

8. Do you play with dead bugs?

Ew. Why?

9. Honestly, are you dating two people?

Nope.

10. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months?

I’m hoping so.

11. Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone other than family?

Yes.

12. Do you want to see somebody right now?

I do. But I can wait.

13. What if you had a baby with the person you like?

I won’t/can’t have children of my own. So...

14. Are you happy?

Ya know what, just a little bit. (:

15. Have you ever tripped in public?

Oh yeah.

16. Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?

I’m sure.

17. Have you ever sat in the back of a police car?

Nope.

18. Are you stubborn?

Haha, yeah.

19. Do you tend to hold a grudge?

Yes.

20. What’s a fact about the last person that texted you?

He’s doing great things in Utah.

21. Has anyone called you perfect before?

Yes.

22. Where is the biggest scar on your body?

My abdomen.

23. Have you ever been told you were amazing?

Yes.

24. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?

No. I just couldn’t.

25. Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?

I mean, a little.

26. Do you trust all your friends?

Yes.

27. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

No.

28. What pissed you off today?

Family members.

29. What was the last thing you cried about?

I was pissed because the pharmacy didn’t have the meds I needed and I was going into withdrawal.

30. Who was the last girl you talked to?

My sister.

31. Do you know anyone who drinks a lot?

Said family member.

32. Who sits next to you in English?

I don’t have English classes right now. I don’t have any classes :/

33. Ever talked to someone who was drunk?

Yes.

34. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Oh yeah.

35. How late did you stay up last night and why?

Like 11:30ish.

36. Do you know how to properly use grammar in a sentence?

Indeed.

37. Are your parents very protective of you?

They are but they also trust me to make good judgement.

38. Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months?

No idea.

39. How many drugs are in your system?

A boatload. All legal, though.

40. The person who hurt you the most calls and needs you, do you go?

I’m not sure who that person even is.

41. Is it easy to pretend everything’s okay for you?

I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

42. Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to on the phone?

I mean... eventually.

43. Do you think you are a good person?

I try to be. But it’s days like today where I’m a little ashamed of myself.

44. What do you want right this second?

To say what I mean, out loud.

45. Do you think it makes him weak if a guy cries?

No. It takes bravery to be open in front of people, like that.

46. Have you ever cried cause you were so mad?

That’s usually why I cry.

47. Could you last in a relationship for over a year?

Easily.

48. Who were you with on your birthday?

My birthday is just around the corner! ;)

49. Have you ever crawled through a window?

Once. I had to break into my best friend’s neighbor’s house to feed their cat that she was watching. Lol.

50. First person to talk to you in 2014?

Probably a family member.

51. Do you miss your past?

Parts of it.

52. It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?

Probably a telemarketer. Hah.

53. Do you have anything interesting planned for the next week?

Nope.

54. Who was the last person to text you? Do you know when that person’s birthday is?

Nick. April 4th.

55. What were you doing 4 hours ago?

Heading over to the zoo with my aunt and my sister.

56. Is there a certain song that you can’t stop listening to atm?

'Out Loud’ by Gabbie Hanna.

57. Tell me 3 things that your friends don’t know about you.

There isn’t anything that no one doesn’t know. I’m pretty damn open.

58. What is something that people often give to you as a gift?

Gift cards.

59. Do you tend to hold on to a lot of stuff you don’t need, just because it has sentimental value?

Yes.

60. What is something that reminds you of your ex?

Hmm... Fossil Creek.

61. Has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?

Hah, nooo.

62. Which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?

Flowers. Not a bit fan of sweets.

63. When did you last take a shower/bath? Do you wash your hair every time?

An hour ago. And yes, I do.

64. Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now?

I’ll stay right here... for now.

65. Do any of your followers on Tumblr have your phone number?

No.

66. Will you be going out tonight, or staying in?

Staying in. It’s my aunt’s last night here.

67. How many times have you been in love?

Once, for sure.

68. If you were heartbroken, who would help you pick up the pieces?

My mom.

69. Apparently, it’s very common to crave chocolate around the ‘time of the month’; do you ever get that craving?

No. Because I don’t get a period.

70. How would you feel about dating someone who had a reputation for being a player in the past? Do you think that players will ALWAYS be players, or is it possible that they can change?

People can change.

71. Did you sleep well last night?

MUCH better than the previous nights.

72. Is your bedroom big enough for you?

Yes and no.

72. Are you looking forward to seeing someone soon?

Yeah.

73. Ever had a one-night stand?

A couple.

74. Is anyone flirting with you?

Yes?

75. Have you ever felt pressure to do anything you didn’t want to, like smoking, drinking, or losing your virginity, before you were ready for it? If so, how did you deal with that?

Pfft. Not at all. I’ve done it at my own pace. As I do with everything.

76. Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Why/why not?

Yes, I do. Because i love knowledge.

77. Who would you most like to be stuck in a lift with?

@anoddityofsorts

78. Is there anyone you’d HATE to be stuck in a lift with?

I could think of a few.

79. When did you last talk to the person you love/like? What did you talk about?

Not that long ago. A mutual acquaintance.

80. Have you ever seen your father cry?

Yes. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.

81. How would your parents react if you got pregnant?

They’d be surprised AF. As would I. And scared, probably.

82. Do you/did you keep to your school’s uniform/dress code?

I adhered to it, mostly. I broke the rules sometimes., Because they were so effing ridiculous.

83. If the last person you kissed said you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?

Hell no.

84. What was the highlight of your summer?

Visiting my dad in NC.

85. The last time you threw up, was it because you were hungover?

No. I was uh... coughing up blood.

86. Have you ever seen the film ‘Wake Wood’? What did you think of it?

I’ve never even heard of it. Sounds kinda... scary?

87. Are you confused about anything atm? Is there anything bothering you? Or, is everything good?

I’m pretty lost right now. But I’ll eventually get it figured out.

88. If you say ‘I’ve had enough’ or ‘I’m done’, do you always mean it?

Yes. But I somehow still go on.

89. Who was the last person that invited you to their house?

@anoddityofsorts & her hubby. It was Alice’s first birthday! <33

90. Have your parents ever told you about any alternative names they considered for you, or the name they would have chosen, if you’d turned out to be a the opposite sex?

Yeah, my dad really wanted to name me Nikki.

91. Are you friends with any of your exes?

Yes.

92. Have you ever had to make an emergency phone call?

A few times.

93. If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone?

I’m not necessarily looking for someone.

94. What language do you like the sound of?

Japanese. Korean.

95. Think about the last guy, outside of family, that you had a conversation with. Do you find him sexy?

Not gonna lie, he’s pretty damn attractive.

96. What do you think is an assumption that someone could make about you, just by looking at your Tumblr? Would this assumption be correct?

I’m obsessed with Sailor Moon. And cats. And they’d be right.

97. What’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?

I’ve always loved their eyes. And they’ve got nice arms.

98. Do you consider yourself to be a strong person? Why/why not?

Absolutely. Don’t even get me started.

99. Tell me about a special moment you’ve had with the person you love/like.

100. What are you doing tomorrow? Going to the dentist. And then nothing, I guess.

#personal #survey #questionnaire

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