#gonna go lie down and not get up for two weeks now farewell | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hotwings0203 · 3 years ago

Note

as ur irl bestie i am cashing in my favor and am asking- no begging for a dilf damon fic pls <3

😑fine fineee I guess I can take a quick break from writing BNHA stuff for you🙄

CW: NSFW, Damon Albarn being an a-hole, manipulation, gaslighting, language minor stuff like that

The studio itself was pretty spacious, you couldn't lie. As much as you loathed to give this cursed group any more credit, you were hard-pressed to remember the last time you´d been called into such a professional recording booth. You were used to dingy atmospheres, crumbling walls, stained carpet, and even cramped garages at times. It felt like your years of meticulously swaying your hand back and forth on the rosin and tuning your strings until they damn near popped were slowly going down the drain, lost in spaces of screaming adolescent boys and shady market agents. The streets of London were unforgiving for a young musician like you, no room to turn to since others were exactly in the same position as you.

It was by pure coincidence that the day you had played for a local cafe for a small commission, Graham fucking Coxon was sitting in the back of the run-down joint, sipping a murky glass of Bourbon.

You didn't notice him at first, of course. You had simply let the music in your mind travel from your head down to your arms, and allowed it to move through your fingertips to your bow. The serene melody that sang through the air had turned his head to face you, the shitty drink in his hand stopped halfway to his mouth.

Your solo was only a couple of minutes, but the second you were done and packing your bags to head out, the brunette made a beeline for you, blocking your exit.

¨Uh, can I help you?¨ You cock your head and shift your violin case.

¨Yes, you can actually. Listen, I know this is gonna sound a bit straightforward, but I really liked your piece. Did you compose it yourself?¨ He sounds quiet and sounds nervous, with him barely looking you in the eyes.

¨Yeah, I did!¨ You can´t help but beam-it took you several days just to perfect a few meager lines, but in the end you were content with the piece.

¨Wow...that's serious talent right there,¨ He opens the door for you, and you nod before you head out, him trailing behind you as he leaves with you.

¨You make a good amount of money doing small jobs like this?¨ His voice is nasally and low, but with a slightly higher pitch than your typical London accent.

At this, you squint your eyes a bit and turn your head at him. It was nice of him to be interested in your work, but for someone you don't personally know, the idea of talking about your small gigs that merited little to no money was not something you were fond of.

He senses your hesitancy and immediately withdraws. ¨I´m sorry, that was probably rude of me to be so blunt about it. Actually, I don´t think I´ve properly introduced myself.¨ He stops to face you, and you do the same.

¨I´m Graham Coxon. You may or may not have heard of me, but I can assure you that I too enjoy music, as an understatement.¨ He extends a calloused hand and smiles a little bit, adjusting the blocky glasses on his face.

Graham...Coxon? Graham as in....oh, holy shit.

¨No way.¨

¨Er...unfortunately, yes way.¨ His soft voice lilts as he holds back a laugh, and you gape at him.

¨Oh my god!¨ You drop your violin case in the excitement of eagerly returning his handshake. ¨You-you're from Blur! I know you!¨

¨Was from Blur, and ´careful now, don´t wanna ruin your instrument. But listen, I´m kind of in a bind here so I´ll get to the chase. We´re working on a few chords here and there back at the studio, and I´ve been on the lookout for a while for someone who fits our tune. ´Thing is, the deadline for submitting our song is comin´ up fast, so we only have a couple weeks left.¨

You raise your eyebrows, heart pounding in your chest as you listen to his proposition.

¨So I´m thinking, you sound pretty good, it's exactly what we need to fill in our bridge. I´d love it if you came in and played a tune for us. If we like you and you´re cool with it, you could feature on our song.¨

It feels surreal. Were you hearing right? Graham Coxon from Blur asking you to play on his song? This had to be a prank.

¨Ẅait, but you've only heard me once, what if my sound doesn't match what you're actually looking for?¨ You stammer, palms clammy as you wipe them off on your trousers.

¨Well, that's what a rehearsal session is for, lovely,¨ He chuckles nervously and slides his slightly foggy glasses up his nose. ¨So, you wanna give it a go?¨

You think for a moment, biting your lower lip. There wasn't exactly anything stopping you now, was there? I mean, sure, the prospect of playing in front of one of UK's most famous bands was daunting, but this was your chance to finally be recognized!

Taking a deep breath, you pick up your fallen case and nod. ¨Alright, I´m in. When you do wanna meet up?¨

Graham visibility deflates in relief, letting out a shaky exhale. ¨Great. I'll text you the time and place, yeah? The boys and I´ve gotta get a few more things set up, so we´ll be in contact soon.¨

You both exchange numbers, your phone tingling in your hand long after you bid farewell and drive home in a buzz.

When you finally get home to your apartment, you throw your keys onto the counter and flop down onto the mattress. What a fucking day.

So many thoughts bounce around in your addled head. You want to do well, but obviously you don't have their kind of experience in the industry. Should you play more in tune with their song, or continue with your own sound? An idea pops into your head amidst your lunch, a few hours later. Why not just do some more research on the band themselves? Then you'd know exactly what kind of music they're looking for.

The boys and I´ve gotta get a few more things set up.

Oh yeah, who else was in the band? It's not like you didn't know who Blur was at their peak, but you paid more attention to their music rather than their faces. Truthfully, you never really basked in tabloids and newspapers purring about the next big scandal, or the top dogs of Britain´s industry when that stuff was relevant.

You abandon your pathetic sandwich and make your way to your laptop, sliding into a chair and getting down to business. After a few quick searches, you pull up a couple tabs around the name Blur.

Graham Coxon- Recovering alcoholic. Big fight with Damon Albarn.

Alex James- Cute boy turned conservative. Classic case.

Dave Rowntree- Mainly untouched. Became a successful lawyer. Good for him.

Damon Albarn- A fucking mess.

Puffing up your cheeks and putting your hands behind your head, you lean back in your chair. Good god, this man is a wreck. Headlines from decades ago swim in and out of your eyes, loud, obnoxious neon prints of Justine and Damon broken up again? Suede claps back!, or Will the Blur Brothers ever come back to each other? Find out first-hand from Coxon himself!, and worst of all, Albarn relapses again, Damon Albarn from Blur goes head-to-head with Liam and Noel-news flash, the brothers win!

You think you see something about him and a potential wife and child, and that's when you decide it's time to sleep.

After all, there's no point in getting caught up in any of their backstories.You were just there to play a solo and get out. Nosing around in their lives was more trouble than what it was worth, anyways.

Which is exactly what you kept trying to tell yourself as you walked into the modern studio two weeks later, its grey soundproof walls and white floor screaming fancy and rich to you. And fancy and rich didn't come without grit and experience, which you had none of. As if to emphasize your inexperience, you went into the wrong halls twice before you exasperatedly checked your messages with Graham and saw that no, it wasn´t room 311, it was room 113.

Finally, finally, you came across your designated room. The mahogany door was closed, and you placed a hand on the silver knob. You could faintly hear the sounds of a guitar being played from the inside, and it was curiosity above everything else that compelled you to push it open.

From behind the clear window that separated the booth from the recording area, you see them. Graham, Damon, and other men you don't recognize are all in the midst of the song, the same song Graham had texted you the PDF of for the violin notes. You sheepishly take a few steps forward and clear your throat to catch the attention of a bald man leaning back against his chair right in front of the glass. He turns around and you give a weak little wave, clutching your case in the other hand.

¨Hey, I´m here for-¨

¨-Yeah, yeah, Graham told me all about you. Go on ahead and join in, they just started.¨ He pulls a toothpick out from between his lips and gestures to the door of the divider.

You feel your heart pounding in your chest as you make your way through the second door, and the second you step inside meekly, Damon and Graham´s eyes are on you.

Graham continues to play the guitar, only lighting up his eyes and giving you an encouraging nod when you step in, and the other two men on bass and saxophone also give a quick smile in greeting. And Damon…well.

Damon barely acknowledges you.

He continues to sing and stare straight ahead at the wall in front of him as if there's an interesting scene being played out on the grey paint.

You´re unsure of whether to catch his attention and give a proper greeting, but you decide not to as it would interfere with the song. So instead, you quickly grab a nearby chair and stand and set up your rosin and papers.

Your timing is perfect; the bridge is about to come up. Just to be certain, you look up from your poised position and catch the eyes of most everyone except for Damon´s. They all give you a quick thumbs up or an expectant look for your confirmation of playing.

And then, it comes. Damon stops singing, and your cue to sweep your bow across the horse hairs of your strings comes.

Melodious, whole, fulfilling, it was. Graham´s guitar chords harmonized with the tones of your violin, and music that you´ve never dreamed of creating was made by your hands exceptionally.

Everyone was in awe of your raw talent, from the way their gazes were rapt onto your bow, moving back and forth,staying still in some highs and whittling away at the lows. You even thought you saw the producer from inside the booth turn his head towards you from the corner of your eye, but you couldn´ be sure.

Everyone except Damon Albarn.

The song ended a minute later with the signal of a fading out bass, and then there was silence.

¨Right on with that tune.. ´Thought we'd be fucked ova´ if we didn't find someone to take that melody.¨ The bassist with long shaggy hair grinned and you returned one back.

¨Yeah, I was kind of hesitant when Graham ´ere told us he found one to take this position on, but I'm pleased.¨ The saxophone player scratched his chin and hummed his agreement. You felt relief.

Until he spoke.

¨Is this your first time playing?¨

You look incredulously over at him, looking straight on at his face. Sandy hair, lines on his cheeks, slight scruff around his chin, he looked older than his online pictures.

¨Uhh, no?¨ You laugh a little, trying to keep the annoyance out of your voice. ¨If I was, I doubt Graham would think I´m good enough to play with you guys.¨

¨I don't think Graham is the only one who needs to think that.¨ Everyone shifts uncomfortably, looking nervously from Damon to you, and Graham tugs his collar as if the temperature had gone up.

But nonetheless, you don't back down.

¨Oh yeah? How so?¨

¨You played the G-string too high,¨ He deadpans, looking utterly bored amidst oceanic hues.

¨What?¨ You flip your music pages a couple of times until you find the page where you played that part. ¨No I didn´t, I was right on tune-do you even know how to play the violin?¨

¨No,¨ he smirks, and with your blood boiling steadily you open your mouth to argue, but thankfully Graham butts in.

¨Damon, don´t be a prick, she played fine. Unlike you, who fucked up on the 5th verse.¨

The man in question lazily stretches his arms above his head, causing his white tee to rise a few inches over his belly button. You can´t help but glance at the skin-it's smooth, cleanly chiseled with part of his v-line showing, a happy trail rising from the juncture.

¨Oi, sweetheart, eyes up here.¨

You snap your gaze back to his smug face, cheeks burning.

¨I didn´t-¨

¨Sure you didn´t. Just like how I didn't mess up on the 5th verse, and how you didn't ruin the song with your shitty violin, yeah?¨ He simpers, and you almost rise out of your seat to snarl at him before Graham jumps in between you two, scolding a very inappropriately-grinning Damon.

You get up out of your chair and huff, shoving your belongings back into your bag as everyone else packs up, the men bickering and playfully throwing shit at each other.

The producer even congratulates you on your successful first day, and everyone cheers and pounds you on your back, your hair falling in your face and gracefully hiding your 120k watt smile.

Damon shoulders right past you, knocking your case right out of your hands. You grapple with it for a second before it hits the ground, and when it does you whip around and shoot him an icy glare.

He's not even looking at you, he's already out the door.

It's quiet for a moment.

¨Well, there he goes again being a dickhead. Classic Damon, you got.¨ The saxophone player points to the leaving blond and grins sheepishly at you.

¨What's his problem?¨ You ask in disgust, shaking your head as you join the rest of the boys leaving.

¨Uh, well...¨ Graham scratches the back of his head and avoids looking at you. ¨He's always been kind of like that, y´know, so don't take it too personally, but between just us four, his wife´s been on his arse for a bit about um...some...domestic affairs.¨ He finishes lamely, and the other two men guffaw at your raised eyebrow.

You don't have a chance to press further as to ask what domestic affairs, exactly because a loud clap of thunder shakes you all to your cores as you step outside.

¨Aw, come on!¨ You stamp your foot and hold out your hand for confirmation of the raindrops about to drop on you all. ¨I didn't know it was gonna rain today,¨ you grumble.

Graham squints up at the sky and wipes some droplets off his blurred glasses, covering his head with his jacket hood as he begins walking to the parking garage. ¨I´ll see you lot in about a week, yeah? Just keep practicing, good rehearsal we had today!¨ He waves his hand and dashes off.

¨Good job on your first day, Y/N. Fancy the weather on your walk back for us!¨ The sax and bass player bid farewell and also do a sprint to their respective cars, splashing through the puddles and sending muddy water on your pants.

¨Urgh!¨ You raise your hands to try and protect your bottoms but to no avail- London's sewage strikes again.

Sighing in defeat, you walk through the rain towards your car, succumbing to the grimy walk. Unfortunately you didn't think to use the parking garage due to high nerves when you first came in.

You walk for about 5 minutes, the rain drenching your hair and clothes and chilling you to your bones.

Could this day get any more annoying?

Oh, but you should´ve known that it could.

Because right at that moment, a black limo swerves right next to you on the sidewalk, sending a massive wave of gutter water right your way.

You swear loudly and jump back, barely managing to avoid the remnants of the sewage tsunami crossing your feet.

Looking up wildly at the offensive vehicle, you make a fist and flip the window off, your lip curled up into a snarl.

The obsidian glass rolls down.

¨Well that's not very nice, is it? Nasty weather we got going on right now, careful it doesn't get on your clothes.¨

Oh.

¨It's you,¨ you monotone, less than pleased to see his salacious grin at your predicament-which was being soaked to your undergarments in brown muddy water, your hair clinging to your face and your violin case lugging down towards the ground, its weight proving mutiny against you today of all days.

¨In the flesh,¨ Damon beams, and you scowl at his cheery attitude.

¨You almost drowned me, asshole,¨ You turn your nose up in scorn, and he chuckles in his baritone voice.

¨Nah, cant´ve love, I can't drive,¨ he clicks his tongue and jerks his thumb to the seat in front of him, where you assume his chauffeur is.

¨Oh, so it was under your orders that your poor driver practically waterboarded me?¨ ¨Well, yeah, I mean what else do you expect me to do when I see a pretty lady walking so harmlessly in the rain?¨ Your voice catches in your throat for a second from his words and the way his glacial eyes twinkle for a moment, but then he erupts in dry chuckles at your demeanor and you throttle your hesitancy at speaking.

¨Shut up, you're absolutely vile, y´know that?¨ ¨So I´ve been told, but to be honest sweetheart, I´d rather hear that in bed, where I´m used to hearing it. Now are you going to get in or shall I talk about my sexual prowess with you the rest of the afternoon?¨ He opens his door from the inside and mockingly winks at you.

You feign a gag, but still decide to jump in the spacious limo when a flash of lightning lights up the sky.

He scoots back to give you space to sit and adjust your violin case on the seats in front of you, but just as you´re about to close the door, he leans in right next to you and reaches behind you to pull it shut himself.

You´re caught still as he draws close, you´re extended hand frozen in midair as his arm against your back flexes and stiffens with it pulling the door. You can feel his breath against your neck as he exhales, can feel some of his hair tickling against your ear and cheek. You hold your breath, not daring to move lest you accidentally brush up against his proximity.

The loud slam of the door causes you to jump, and he laughs a little at that, signaling his driver to go.

You don't quite face him, your gaze down in your lap as his entire body is facing you, still stuck in its position when he was closing the car door.

¨Not nervous, are you?¨ He murmurs in your ear, and you can´t help it when your whole body shivers at feeling the rumble in his gravelly voice.

¨N-no, I´m not. Do you have to be so close?¨ You stammer, barely giving him a sideways glance which eggs him on, much to your displeasure.

¨Not really. But if you´re not nervous, then it shouldn't be a problem, right?¨ He says quietly and leans around to catch your eye.

Before you can lose your nerve and jump out of the car, you snap at him. ¨You just don´t quit, do you?¨

He finally relents and the side of his pink lips lift lazily as he stretches his knees out and practically manspreads across the expanse of three seats. ¨Nope. Not that you really were against it though, ´could feel your heart pounding a mile a minute sweetheart. Trust me, I´m used to making girls nervous, I would know.¨

You sneer at him. ¨Don´t call me sweetheart, and yeah, I was nervous about getting some disease-ridden prick like you getting close to me. God knows how many STD´s you've contracted from bedding some poor groupies.¨

¨Only one way to find out, right love?¨ He leans his head up to the car ceiling and lets his tousled golden hair flop back, his jawline accentuated by the cream-colored seats contrasting with his tan skin.

You catch yourself staring, and shake your head quickly.

¨You must´ve been more hopped up on heroine than I thought if you think I´d ever fuck a self-absorbed, narcissitic bastard like you.¨

The words leave your mouth before you can stop them, but once they do your eyes widen and you clap a hand over your mouth in horror.

Damon lifts his head and slowly turns to face you, his mouth set in a thin line.

¨A self-absorbed, narcissistic bastard whose limo you're riding in, need I remind you, so I can´t be all that bad. ´Can't say I haven't heard any of that before love, but most girls who say that end up in my bed anyways.¨

You open your mouth to argue but he cuts you off.

¨Although, ´hopped up on heroin´ is a new one. Just exactly how much research have you done about me so far?¨

Your rebuttal dies in your throat. You were caught.

Your ears burn and your face flushes as you bite your lip in embarrassment. Maybe you went too far, and on top of that you let it slip that you knew about him beforehand.

But you refuse to kowtow in humiliation to this idiot, so you think quickly.

¨I doubt you´ve got your head that far up your ass to disregard how half the world was tuning into your personal life when Blur was big, Damon.¨

He looks unimpressed with your excuse, but before he can open his mouth to question you further, you hurry up with another save.

¨Also, where are we going? You never asked me where my car was.¨

Bingo His eyes brighten and he shouts at the driver, harping on about him being a brain-dead idiot for driving in circles the past 10 minutes.

What a save.

*******************

The moment you step into the booth next week, a drumstick is lobbed at you from seemingly nowhere. You yelp and hold your case up, blocking the weapon as it bounces off your makeshift shield. You bring the case down and shoot a glare towards the only man you know capable of acting so childishly at his grown age.

But he´s already scrolling through his phone, looking for a measure to start from.

¨You´re late.¨

¨Hardly,¨ you mutter, glancing at the clock on the wall. Two minutes past shouldn´t be an excuse for having a drumstick pick out your eye.

¨Good to see you again, Y/N,¨ Graham pipes up softly, sending you an apologetic glance from Damon to you and you stick out your tongue in faux annoyance.

The other two members of your group greet you as well, and you all begin practice. Notes begin harmonizing together, voice and sound coinciding to make music you´ve swayed your hips and nodded your head to on blue nights.

It´s a hot day, humidity clinging to your skin akin to the perspiration hanging off your forehead, and halfway through the song you decide to take off your sweater. You´re wearing a white tank top underneath, nothing too revealing save for the slight dip in the V-neck, but you couldn't care less about modesty at the moment when your fingers were literally slipping in their grasp on your sweat-slicked bow.

During a quick break in your part of the song, you slip off your sweater and fan yourself out. It feels good, but you feel a pair of eyes staring at you. Following the laser gaze, you turn your head to face Damon, but he´s nose-deep in the lyrics sheet, warbling about a broken love or friendship.

Huh, must´ve been imagining it.

Your solo comes up, and you prepare yourself for tackling the notes to your best ability, keeping up with Graham´s rapid guitar pace. Sweat continues to build on everyone´s vicinity when the rapid movement of arms waving around their own instrument causes more body heat to suffocate you all.

Miraculously, the song finishes, and you collapse in your seat like the rest of the men, panting and wiping slick off your foreheads. You reach for a bottle of water on the floor and unscrew the lid, grimacing at its lukewarm temperature but drinking it nonetheless.

For the second time, you have an unnerving feeling of being watched. This time, you whip your head to the side and catch him staring straight at you.

Damon´s face is flushed, his hair tousled, his rose colored glasses steamed up from the muggy aura in the room. His denim jacket is hanging off one shoulder, the rest of his torso covered with a sheer wife beater that accentuates his chiseled dad-body.

But he just stares you down, saying nothing. You frown at him a little bit and shift your body away from him, feeling vulnerable to his laser-gaze. His eyes darken, but Graham speaks, cutting him off from whatever he was about to say.

¨That was pretty good, you lot. Greg, Taz, hold off on the third beat of the fourth measure. We´ve gotta crescendo slightly-¨

¨Y/N, do you have a job?¨

Damon's voice cuts off Graham, and everyone falters as they look at him and then you in surprise.

¨I don´t know what you mean,¨ you respond coolly, knowing that whatever he was about to say wasn't good.

¨I mean, do you have a job? Because as far as I know, most people who work don't dress like whores at their job.¨

His eyes travel from your face down to your slight cleavage, and you sputter in rage as the rest of the boys shift uncomfortably.

¨Damon, for god's sake what´re you on about?¨ Graham asks wearily, taking his glasses off and rubbing his shiny neck.

¨I could ask you the same thing, actually. Because as far as I know, you've fucked enough women in your lifetime that one would think you could keep it in your pants for five minutes without acting like a twelve-year-old. Oh, but unless that´s too professional for you? I guess you´re not as serious about your work environment as you claim.¨ you laugh, and the sax player, Greg, snorts into his water bottle.

Damon sneers, ¨How could I forget, you actually have done your research about my life and sexual endeavors, what a cute little fangirl you are. If you wanted an autograph, you could've just asked, sweetheart.¨

¨Go fuck yourself,¨ you snap. ¨You´re all wearing wife-beaters anyways, what's the difference?¨

Damon starts again but Graham claps his hands loudly, startling you all.

¨Enough, both of you! What's gotten into you? Need I remind you that our song is due in less than two weeks? We need to finish this shit and get on with it. Stop acting like children.¨

You mumble under your breath and Damon shoots a dark look to his childhood friend, but the brunette doesn't back down, and continues to give advice on how to improve their song. You don´t look at Damon the rest of the session out of pure spite, but that doesn't stop him from shamelessly staring straight at you, right until it's time to leave.

The second Graham checks his watch and exclaims that it's a quarter past twelve already, you´re already bolting out of your seat and shoving your violin in its case, eager to get out of the disgustingly hot room.

Fortunately, this time you had the right idea to park in the garage like everyone else to avoid any other unwanted encounters, but unfortunately while it was nice to not be waterboarded on your walk, it wasn´t enough to stop said unwanted encounters from occurring.

Take right now, for instance.

As you stumble to your car in the blistering weather, your energy depletes faster and faster, causing you to be light headed. Practice was already tough enough in the sweltering heat, but after Damon's little scene you don't have any energy to even walk.

You crash blindly into your car, the metal of the doors burning your skin as you make contact with the handle. You hiss and jerk back, swaying slightly as your head fogs up. You can barely see, you feel like your clothes weigh a ton on you, so you slide down the vehicle and sit up against the tires, throwing your head back against the car and groaning. The idea of unlocking your doors and sitting in the seat where no doubt several temperatures higher will be settling on the dashboard and in the front row is nauseating.

Weather-2

You-0

You don't know the building well enough to know where a vending machine is, and even if you shot Graham a text, you don't have enough energy to wander around and scout for it.

And lo and behold, from a distance, a figure approaches. You squint as it draws nearer, and let out a laugh as the features come into familiarity.

The heat must be getting to you worse than you thought, because you´re certain you´re hallucinating Damon Albarn of all fucking people swaggering towards you, one hand holding his denim jacket over his shoulder, and a shit-eating grin on his face as he comes to stand in front of you.

All you can do is pant like a dog, looking up at him with unimpressed eyes.

¨Oi, G-String. ´Brought you some water.¨ he holds out a hand, and you choose to ignore the offensive nickname, insead noticing the large bottle in it, cold condensation covering its expanse.

Your eyes widen and you lick your lips unconsciously, holding your hands out for it.

Damon watches your tongue poke out and loses focus before snapping back to reality and moving his arm above your head. You pout and try to reach for it again, but he laughs and holds it even higher.

You glare and turn your head away from him, suddenly remembering how he embarrassed you earlier.

¨Go away. I don't want it anymore. You´re an asshole.¨ you mumble, perspiration hanging off your lip as you lick the salty beads away once again.

Damon´s eyes never leave your mouth as he listens to you and watches the pink appendage make its appearance again, and his mouth hangs open slightly unbeknownst to you for a second. You cross your arms and glare at the empty parking lot, silently willing him to go away.

He snaps back into focus yet again and shakes his head at you. ¨Oh come on love, I´m just teasing. You look like you´re about to die anyways, might as well make this your last meal-er, drink I mean.¨

¨I´m not taking anything from a complete dickhead who enjoys harassing women about their clothes. You know, for such a womanizer, you act pretty clueless about how comments like that would make a girl feel. No one else but you had an issue with it, or rather, had the audacity to point it out.¨ You cough at the last word, your dry throat and heavy head making it harder to talk.

He sighs and crouches down, balancing on the balls of his feet. He pops open the cap and gently turns your chin towards his face, much to your surprise. You´re genuinely too weak to protest, but when you look at his concerned face, eyebrows scrunched up and accentuating the lines on his forehead, you don't think you'd want to turn away even if you could.

He coaxes your agap mouth even more open by dragging a rough thumb down over your lips, and you obediently open your mouth, mesmerized by his eyes. His movements are soft and slow, as if you were a fidgety rabbit about to run off at the slightest touch. He scoots closer, right over in front of you as you simply gaze up at him, allowing him to pour cool water down your throat, quenching your bone-dry palate.

For a couple of seconds, water floods your mouth but all you can do is stare up at him. The light rays are reflecting off his back, casting a yellow glow around his silhouette and he almost looks like an angel. His hair is mussed as if he'd spent the day running his hands through the golden locks, and the scruff on his face peeks through soft-looking skin.

¨Swallow, or I'll really waterboard you this time,¨ he says lowly, chuckling a bit as he catches you staring so adamantly right in his face. You jerk back to consciousness and swallow hastily, accidentally choking on the gulp in your rush.

He laughs even more and lets go of your chin much to your disappointment as he adjusts himself to sit next to you, not seeming to mind the scorching car metal. The absence of his hand on your face leaves a cold, empty feeling in your heart despite the heated blush on your cheeks

¨You´ll burn yourself,¨ you mumble, lolling your head over to look at him.

But he looks straight ahead and shrugs casually. ¨Not any more than you.¨ You both sit in silence for a few minutes, occasionally sipping from the bottle he passes towards you and watching cars go by.

¨You didn't answer my question. Why do you harp on me in the studio? You act like a normal human being here.¨

Damon looks thoughtfully at a white sedan passing by, then speaks.

¨As I´m sure Graham has blabbed to you already, I´ve been having some...trouble with the missus, let's say.¨

You say nothing and raise a questioning eyebrow.

¨For the shitty attitude,¨ he mutters and swipes the bottle from your hand, taking a large swig himself.

¨And, like you said earlier, I am an asshole. Of course I´ll enjoy harassing pretty women over their revealing clothes,¨ he smirks and gives you a once over.

There it was again, pretty woman.

You scowl and get up to leave, but what he says stops you in your tracks.

¨Taz was lookin´ at you,¨ he says quietly, suddenly very interested in the now-empty bottle. ¨´Didn't like it, but I couldn't say anything to him. Graham likes him too much.¨

Huh. Maybe the pair of eyes you felt back in the room didn't only belong to Damon.

He cracks a small smile and looks up at you, his face adorably innocent and wide as he sheepishly admits, ¨I´m used to butting heads with blokes like him for women.¨

You jerk back up to your feet, brushing off any insinuation he was giving and pat his knee awkwardly, ignoring the fire now igniting once again in your chest.

¨Thanks for the water, I needed it. You might wanna move if you don't want to get run over by my car.¨ You reach down and pick up your case as Damon clambers to his feet.

He looks amused as you fumble for your keys, nervously turning the lock and sitting in the hot car, obviously eager to get away from his intimidating gaze.

¨I´ll see you next week, yeah?¨ You laugh breathlessly and roll your window down to call out to him.

He says nothing, but merely cocks his head at you, his eyes now obscured by the rose-colored glasses he puts over his eyes. He waves a little and watches as you drive away a little too fast.

But as it turns out, you don't see him next week.

******

It was just your luck that one of the cutest guys from your work asked you out on the very same week you had practice with the boys. You contemplated moving the date to another time, but...you deserved to have some fun time off too, right? It's not like it would make too much of a difference in your skill, anyways, you´ve gotten all the strings down and such.

So, you decide to go on this date. It goes well, the dude was cute, dorky, lacked a little pizzazz but nothing a bottle of fancy red wine and a night of movies couldn´t coax out of him. It honestly wasn't anything too big, you exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up again soon. After parting ways, you threw yourself back into the regular regime of practicing your violin and meticulously listening to the booth recording every night, just so you could perfect your part to a T.

The day came where you had to go back to practice, and you were ready, veins pumping with determination to make these last few sessions the best you´ve played yet. You texted Graham that you´d be there soon, and he gave you a thumbs up in return. When you finally arrived in front of the room, you were 10 minutes late. The boys were already playing, by the sound of the percussion booming outside the door. You grimace and take a deep breath, turning the handle in and hurrying inside the booth.

No one really spared a glance at you, so you assumed you were okay in terms of punctuality. You opened your case and started strumming your strings, counting the measures and beats until it was your turn. Damon´s voice rang out, melodious and airy as ever, dropping octaves and floating on soprano tones. Your bow moved across his words, accenting his tones and adding emphasis to his sorrowful song. And then, after a couple of minutes, it was done.

¨Alright you lot, pretty good for today. ´Specially you, Y/N, you caught up pretty quick, I expected you to slack behind but I'm actually impressed.¨ Graham flashed you a nervous grin and you beamed back at him in return.

¨Yeah, speaking of, why were you gone last week? I expected someone who makes below the poverty line would actually want to work for their money,¨ Damon chuckles a little meanly.

You feel your smile drop a smidge.

¨Well actually Damon, not that it's any of your business, but I went on a date.¨ You smirk at him, enjoying the way his mouth opens slightly and moves silently.

But he regroups quickly and glares at you. ¨None of my business? The deadline is only a few days away, and you´re whoring yourself out and going on dates? I guess you´re not as professional as Graham thought.¨

Everyone shifts uncomfortably, and blood rushes to your face, anger clouding your mind. Why was he being like this? He was fine the last time you saw him, you actually thought maybe he was going to change the way he addressed you.

Graham speaks up. ¨Damon. You´re overreacting man, I gave her the okay, and she played fine today. No harm done, seriously, there's no need for that kind of language towards her.¨

¨Actually, there absolutely is a need. If I knew you were going to invite a prostitute as our sub-in then I would´ve never agreed to have her here. Didn´t know you were so low on money Y/N, I would´ve spared you a couple pounds.¨ He sneers.

¨Damon!¨

You laugh bitterly and rise to your feet. ¨Oh that's rich, coming from the man who fucked half the continent just because he couldn't get over one girl. No wonder every real woman in your life including your wife wants to leave, nothing is ever good enough for you. Except heroin maybe.¨

The words leave your mouth before you can take them back, and there's a pin drop silence as if a bomb had been dropped. In a way, it kind of did.

Damo glares at you. Everyone is holding your breath, including you.

¨Get out.¨

¨Hey,-¨ Taz tries to gently interject but Damon throws the mic at him.

¨I said get the fuck out. You´re not practicing with us anymore, you can pack your shit and leave.¨

Tears brim at the corners of your eyes, and you choke out a small ¨Fine.¨

You hear Graham berating him behind you as you fly through the door, telling him that they need you, it's too late to change people, but the words jumble in your ears as the door slams shut. You don't hear what Damon says, if he even says anything, and you aren't interested in his comebacks right now.

It's only when you leave the car, tears streaming down your face in rage and embarrassment that you groan to yourself, your hands reaching an empty seat with one foot out the door-

You forgot your violin case.

************

It's nighttime.

The crickets chirp as you creep silently through the parking garage, the soft thud of your shoes echoing a lot louder than you wanted in the empty lot. The studio itself wasn't closed, but you were sure Damon must have informed the manager there not to let an ex-musician like you back in there.

Wearing a black hoodie and black pants was a smart move- you blended in with the shadows well. The doors weren't locked, and you hiss out a small ¨yesss¨ as you slip inside the mostly dark building. Needless to say, you were proud of yourself for navigating through the windings pitch-black hallways to your old booth.

Testing the handle lightly, you sigh out in relief when that too gives way. Unfortunately though, the second the door shuts behind you, you immediately stumble forward and fall.

The room is dark, darker than the other hallways so you can barely see your hands. The only source of light you´re granted is the dim red bulb on top of the booth door. And speaking of, that's exactly where you need to go...which proves to be harder when you keep bumping into random shit and cursing when you feel potential bruises forming on your shins.

Miraculously you stagger through the next door towards where you last sat, and blindly feel around the floor and chairs for your violin case. You feel nothing there, but panic starts settling in your heart when you can't find it.

¨Looking for something?¨

You scream and lurch backwards, knocking your head into some kind of stand. Groaning, you rub your head and hold a hand on your racing heart as you squint into the dim red room, placing the voice to the person.

¨D-Damon?¨

¨In the flesh sweetheart. ´Knew you'd come back for this, s´just my luck I came back to get it tonight so I could give it to you personally in case you wanted to be stubborn. But this is even better than I could´ve hoped.¨

You make out his silhouette in the obsidian abyss in front of you. He's sitting with knees spread on a chair, a few feet in front of you as he leans his head back on the wall. Your precious violin case is being held hostage in his arms, and it's the absolute love you have for the brittle instrument that propels you to your feet and moves you to get the hell out instead of interrogating him.

¨What, so you were just here the whole time listening to me falling around like an idiot?” You laugh incredulously, and you see the area of his shoulders move up and down.

¨Was pretty funny to watch, honestly. You sound cute when you curse.¨ He stands up to his fullest height now, the red light bouncing off his back, giving him a sort of demonic halo.

You knew it was actually time to leave when you felt those stupid butterflies in your stomach rise up again.

¨Right, well, I´ll be on my way then. Good luck with your song and whatever, I´ll just take the case...¨ You trail off as your extended hand is left in midair, no violin case reaching it.

He cocks his head at you. ¨Why are you in such a rush to leave?¨

You can´t help the scoff that escapes you.

¨Are you serious? You were such an absolute dickhead to me this afternoon, you said all sorts of horrible things to me, and you even fired me for Christ's sake! I want nothing to do with you, so could you please give me my case back so I can go?¨

He's silent for a moment before answering. ¨Are you done yet?¨

It isn´t just the light that's making you see red now.

¨Fuck you, honestly.¨ You whirl around and stomp towards where you guess the door is, ignoring the clatter behind you and bingo you locate the handle, but as soon as you turn it-

A hand reaches from behind you and pulls the ajar door shut.

¨Don´t go. I´m sorry.¨

You´re absolutely still as you feel him towering over you, his arm dangerously close to your midriff as his hand remains on the knob.

His voice is low, and you can feel him breathe against your neck, mere inches away. You can´t help the involuntary shiver that passes through you, and he feels it too, inhaling deeply when he gets close to your ear.

¨You smell so good.¨

¨Leave me alone, Damon,¨ you whisper, your voice catching in your throat from the overwhelming onslaught of emotions passing through you.

He breaths in and slowly lets his hand rest on your side.

¨I can't do that. You know why. You have to have known by now.¨

You tremble in his touch, yet allow his hands to wander down to your hip, the other coming around in a sort of hug to pull you closer to him.

¨We can´t.¨

¨Sure we can.¨

You can feel his erection bumping against your ass.

¨You´re not worth this.¨

¨I´ll make myself worth it.¨

And as soon as he latches onto the back of your neck, you´re like putty in his hands, a moaning mess as he sucks galaxy-colored hickies on your skin. You can feel yourself grow wetter as he shoves his hands up your shirt and teasingly pulls down the bridge of your bra, letting the weight of your tits fill up his hands appreciatively. He starts rolling your hardened buds in between his skilled calloused fingers, and you whine and throw your head back when you feel him rut against your ass, panting raggedly in your ear.

You rub your thighs together, desperate for some form of friction as he squeezes your tits, and then letting one hand ghost across the expanse of your stomach, down to brush against the rim of your panties. Damon chuckles meanly in your ear when you buck against the stilled hand over your mound.

¨You want this?¨ He lightly nips your ear. He smells like old spice and sandalwood.

You nod desperately, frustrated with him not giving you his thick fingers already.

But it's not enough for him. ¨No no, pretty girl, use your words now. I´ve barely touched you yet and you´re already moaning like a wanton little slut for me? And here I was thinking you weren't that easy.¨

You stop jerking your hips and blood rushes to your face at his insulting words. You try to move out of his grip, huffing and regretting the whole thing but he outright laughs now and spins you around, tugging you forward until your chest is slotted against his. You pout at him and look away, but he's quick to grasp your chin and pull you in for a rough yet sensual kiss.

Pushing you backwards against the wall, he deepens the lip-lock, tracing his tongue over your lips, nipping at the soft flesh and darkening his eyes when you whimper and look up at him.

He knows what he´s fucking doing when he again drops his hand under your pants and over your panties, his other palm wound up firmly through your hair. He pulls your head back and lets you breathe for a second from his kiss of death before he speaks again.

¨I didn't hear an answer, slut. Do you want this?¨ He leans forward until his nose brushes against your neck, flicking his tongue out to taste your saccharine flesh.

You tremble against his firm body when he pushes his pelvis against you, letting you feel how hard he is for you.

It doesn't matter anymore. Maybe he was right, maybe you were just an easy slut putting up a facade for him, but when his clothes erection grinds up against your pussy you can't care less.

¨Y-yes, yes, ´want you, please,¨ you pant, frantically gripping the back of his cropped hair as his head descends to mark your neck again.

¨What a good girl,¨ he whispers, finally allowing his digits to oh-so-slowly trace over your mound, pressing down harder when you jerk against him. He finds your wet clit and flicks it a few times, snickering when you gasp and moan. Your body writhes in place but he holds you literally between a rock-or, wall- and a hard place, preventing you from scampering off.

He drums his fingers against your folds, paying no attention to the way you grip his head tighter against you, silently begging him to go further.

But he relents eventually and retires from just pushing and prodding your folds, allowing his slicked fingers to slowly dive into your drooling hole. You whimper and bite back a string of curses when you feel him fill you completely, scraping against your walls for that one special spot.

His mouth moves off your neck and he rises to face you, a stupid smug grin on his wet lips, his eyelids lowered and trained on you. You flush at his lustful expression and gently push his head away, not wanting to accept his victory yet.

¨My fingers are literally fucking you right now, and you still won´t let me look at you? What, too embarrassed you couldn't continue being a stone-cold bitch for long?¨

You open your mouth to snap back but right at that moment he curls his fingers and grazes your G-spot, simultaneously grounding his wet palm against your clit.

With a loud gasp and the sluttiest moan you´ve ever made, you cum hard, your mouth open in a silent scream and your tongue hanging out like a bitch in heat as you do so. You fall forward against him.

You don't even need to look up to know that he has a shit-eating grin on his face.

¨What was that sweetheart? Sorry, ´couldn't hear you over those slutty moans. I think even the pornstars I´ve been with would give you a standing ovation if they heard what you just sounded like.¨

Your words are slurred as you curse nonsense at him, yet you´re still gripping his forearms to keep a hold on yourself. Your ears are ringing and you see spots as you come down from your climax, and surprisingly enough, Damon holds you close and doesn't let you slip down to the ground as you expected to when your knees start to give out.

Instead, he lifts you up quite easily and carries you over to a table in the corner of the room. You don´t know how he even navigates his way through the dimly lit room, but you suppose after almost half a lifetime in studios he knows his way around.

You offer no resistance as he sets you down gently and begins to lift your shirt off of your body. You manage to lift your arms weakly up in the air for easier access to stripping, but when he starts to kneel down to take your pants off you stop his hands at your knees and look at him with scrunched eyebrows.

He stops and looks up at you. His eyes aren't so darkened anymore, they´re wide and imploring, probably noticing your hesitation.

¨Damon, I...¨ You trail off as he maintains eye contact with you and slowly lowers his pursed lips to your calf, lightly pecking his way up to your knees and ensuring that you´re watching his every move.

Your breathing increases again as his pink appendage darts out, his saliva cooling on your exposed thighs. He sucks on the plush skin and turns his head upwards to face you.

You want to run your hands through his hair.

¨You have a wife,¨ You breathe.

¨Not for tonight I don´t.¨

Your voice gets caught in your throat at that. He positions his hands at the side of your knees, fingers curling around the hem of your pants in a second attempt.

¨Let me make you feel good, love.¨

His answer is in the form of your hand reaching for his collar and pulling him up into a standing position until he towers over your seated form, once again breath stolen in a heated kiss.

Damon fumbles with his zipper as you shove your pants off, fully ready for him now, your dampened panties solid evidence of your need for him.

He pulls his cock out and it bounces out, slapping up against his stomach.

You do a double take. The tabloids were right. He was absolutely huge.

It was disgusting almost, it was insulting really. How the fuck could he be that big? You lose count of how many inches he is when you start to get light headed, realizing with a jolt that he plans to put that monster inside you.

And fuck, why did it have to be so pretty too? Normally you wouldn´t use the word pretty to describe a dick, but fuck, that´s the only appropriate word that came to mind as you admired the white flesh as it mixed in with a dull pink flush turning into an angry shade of red as your eyes progressed up to his tip...which was soaked with precum, mind you.

He was neatly shaven everywhere, including his plush balls. No wonder he got to fuck half the continent.

Damon notices your gawking and smiles lazily, taking a fist around his prick and stroking lethargically up and down.

¨You gonna just stare at it all day or are you going to spread those cute legs for me?¨

Spoken like a true middle aged fuck-boyman.

You look up at him beseechingly, thoroughly intimidated by his length. He merely scoffs, winking at you when he wrenches your tightly closed knees apart.

It's almost like he falls into a trance when he presses his now-naked torso against your chest, when he slots himself between your legs and drags his tip through your sloppy folds and up onto your clit. His mouth falls open slightly and he moans when your juices coat his dick, making it slippery and easy to push the first few inches ever so slightly into your spasming cavern.

He can't help but want more, need more as he practically smothers his weight onto you, forcing you to lie back on the table and letting your legs dangle off the edge. He hunches over you and thrusts minutely into your pulsing folds, groaning when you whine and lace your fingers around his neck and tangle your legs around his back, dragging him impossibly close into you.

For a moment it´s just the sound of you two panting and moaning like inexperienced teenagers, and a zing of pride zips up your spine at the realization that Damon Albarn, one of the world's most renowned playboy is whining and humping against your pussy, reduced to nothing at your hands.

He takes your hands from around his neck and grips your wrists, forcing them above your head on the table. He leans down and kisses you, hard. You give him back the same energy when your hips move up and down along his length, pushing your inviting hole towards his eager and jumping dick.

¨Pretty little girl,¨ he murmurs against your lips, and you nip his bottom lip playfully in retaliation. He slowly starts to sink himself into you, and you practically purr at the feeling of his veiny member dragging against your sensitive walls until he stops.

You look at him questioningly, and blanch when you see the mischievous glint in his cobalt eyes.

¨I want you to count for me.¨

¨Count…?¨ You shake your head in confusion and he pulls out, making you groan in annoyance.

¨I want you to count every inch I put inside you. Unless your slutty mouth can't even do that? I'd be surprised if you couldn´t, you usually have so much shit to say.¨ His voice is low yet teasing, and a shiver passes through you when the rumble of his chest vibrates against your nipples.

¨F-fine, I´ll count.¨

He hums in approval and regroups, guiding his length into your awaiting pussy once again.

It´s almsot torture how slow he goes, and your toes curl at how vivid the sensation is at this pace.

You almost forget to do what he asks until he ducks his head down and teeths your bud.

¨Ah, fuck! One!¨ You yelp, writhing to get away from his lecherous gaze and hold on your poor tit.

He tuts and licks the swollen area until the pain subsides a bit, and then he continues to push.

¨T-two,¨ you moan and let your head fall back. It's unfair how tightly he´s holding your reins-you want him to plow you down, not take his sweet time in this punishment.

¨Damon, can´t you go any faster? Please, I want y-¨

¨-I didn't take you for a masochist, Y/N, but I´m happy to play around with these cute tits if you want to bitch more.¨

Your scowl is cut off when he suddenly shoves two more inches into you, and you mewl loudly at being filled so much.

¨Three! Four! Fuck, oh god, please,¨ you babble nonsense as he curses above you, his form shaking in an effort not to push all the way in.

¨Doing so good sweetheart, you´re almost halfway,¨ he smirks and you gape at him in disbelief.

Halfway?

Five, six, seven, eight, and nine go painfully slow, and by the time he´s fully sheathed inside you, plush balls pressed against your ass, you´re an incoherent, drooling mess.

Your hair is in your face, your cheeks are flushed, and your body bounces up and down as he begins to rock inside you, finally giving you what you want.

His name is chanted like an obscene prayer from your mouth as he grunts and shakes the table. Your legs are wobbly and unable to do anything except press him tighter against you to the point where he can barely move back. The skin of his stomach slaps against yours, his balls slap against the crevice of your ass, and your pussy practically sloshes with every stroke in and out.

He fists your hair with one hand and pulls your neck up to meet his searching lips, his other hand holds your wrists fast against the table. You want to touch him, you want to explore your body as he has conquered yours but he doesn't let you feel anything else apart from the rapid thrusts inside your battered body.

Damon switches positions and lifts the back of your knees up and pushes them forwards until they meet your chest. He lets his body weight rest on the back of your thighs as he pulls out and pushes back impossibly close inside you, closer than he did in missionary.

You sob with need as he plunges into you and reaches a higher spot than before, his tip grazing your cervix. He pounds into you, and you thrust your hips up to fuck back into him, calling out his name as if he were your god.

It´s a good thing the rooms are soundproof.

You feel your second climax comes when he paves way through your tight walls and batters your uterus. It doesn´t hurt so much as feel intense, and your choked moans become panting gasps when he brings a hand down to swirl his thumb over your aching clit.

¨You´re not going to meet with that prick from your work again, yeah? Say it. Say it if you want me to let you cum.¨ He could have been speaking an alien language for all you knew. Your poor addled brain didn't pick up anything except for the word ¨cum¨, and you were a goner.

¨Yes, yes, anything you say, anything you want, just please let me-¨

And oh he does.

It comes over you like a tidal wave, your mind going blank, your eyes seeing white as your legs shake from your earth-shattering orgasm. You feel like you´re going down a rollercoaster, and you never want to stop dropping.

Distantly, you hear him groan and say your name. You can feel pulsing in your filled walls, with what you assume is his ropes of cum. It feels like when you came, it practically squeezed all his cum out with your clenching.

He lets out a shaky breath and falls forward, his nose inches from yours, his breath puffing in your face.

Your eyes are glazed over, but you´ve never seen anything more clearly before.

Maybe Damon Albarn really was worth it.

#blur #damon x reader #damon albarn #damon albarn smut #britpop #90s damon #90s #smut #fluff #britpop smut #damon fluff #Damon Albarn #damon albarn x reader #Damon albarn smut #Damon albarn fanfic #Damon albarn fanfiction #blur fanfic #blur fanfiction

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jimmys-zeppelin · 3 years ago

Text

ghostin'

chapter fourteen

(table of contents)

(chapter thirteen)

june 16, 1976

you're somebody else

On Wednesday, Ellie decided to call Jimmy on one of her earlier nights coming home from the studio. That day was full of writing more songs and collaborating on mixing others with her producer.

As the line rang, she thought about what time it'd be for Jimmy. Hopefully it wasn't too late. A click, followed by a sound resembling the closing of a door were all Ellie could hear before a voice came through, "Hello?" Jimmy said.

"Hey, Jim it's me." Ellie replied sweetly.

She heard his smile through the phone, it sent butterflies through her stomach. "Eleanor, my love..." he said. He sounded a bit groggy, but not groggy from sleep per se, "How's it going?"

"Great. Still working on the album. Wish you were here to put some of your touches on things."

A soft chuckle came from the man, "If I was there right now, I'd be touching much more than your songs, my dear."

"Oh I can't wait until you can actually do it. I miss you."

"I miss you, too." Jimmy said, his voice going serious, "say, we didn't really get to talk about the whole...situation the last few times we've spoken."

"I don't want to take up too much of your time talking about it. We can just figure it out when you get here."

"Why are you putting this off?" Jimmy asked, concern rising in his voice. "You're the one who wanted this, dove. And now I agree. Why not talk about it?"

Ellie stammered, knowing he was right—no matter how high he sounded, "I know we're ready. And I want to do this with you, I just...want to leave it up to when the time comes."

"Ellie, you know that's not the way I do things."

"I don't want to hyper-plan things. It seems more fun if we're spontaneous."

Jimmy sighed into the phone, the huff coming out a bit garbled on her end, "at this rate, it's not a matter of us having fun, it's about getting to the end result."

"Oh." Ellie said, "I see." she paused, thinking of what to say next. Jimmy interrupted her thoughts, however.

"I'm sorry." he said.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I've upset you...among other things."

"In more ways than one..." she whispered, mostly to herself. Whether he hadn't heard what she said or if he chose not to address it, he ignored the comment.

Saying something would only make matters worse, but neither of them wanted to hang up, knowing that if they did, neither would be happy with the outcome come of the phone call. Ellie hated to be constantly ragging on him and nagging him about his extracurricular activities in experimentation, but it was something she couldn't help but notice every time they spoke. He sounded more and more drained every time he picked up the phone, no sense of life within his thin frame.

"Erm," he started, "we've got a release date for the film. I got us both tickets for the premiere."

"I thought you said it wasn't finished."

"It's not. But I guess that's just how movie stuff works."

"You finish shooting your fantasy sequence yet?" Ellie asked, picking absently at a thread from the throw pillows strewn about the couches.

"Yeah, they re-cut the sequence of me climbing up so my butt didn't look as big."

"I told you it wasn't a bad thing, Jim. Give the ladies what they want." she attempted at a joke, only half chuckling at it herself. She was met with an exhale from Jimmy; only having found mild humor in the statement.

"Unless you want me to look like I have more of an arse than you do..."

"Your butt is cute. It's teeny." Ellie said, picturing the asset in her mind.

"You'd be the only one to think so, love. Anything new with you?"

"Songbird charted. It's going up the ranks." She said, her voice coming out more monotoned than she'd meant it to.

"You don't sound nearly as happy as you should be, that's amazing." Jimmy said, a bit of life returning to his demeanor.

"I wanted you to play on it. We just didn't have time and the label didn't want to wait."

"I know it's frustrating. But there will be other songs, I guarantee it."

"It would've meant so much if you got the chance to play. We only got piano backing on it, but I wanted acoustic guitar."

"But you can play guitar, too."

"I wanted you." Ellie said, a quiet sniffle coming through from her end of the phone. Her words masked what she truly wanted to say and he knew it.

"You know, I could take a week. Come visit. Re-record a bit for you and you can put it in with the song for when the record comes out."

"No, Jimmy. I don't want to take time out from your schedule. Plus, I'm only a bit emotional because of my period. It's fine, I promise." Ellie said, coming up with a quick lie so that he wouldn't go through with his proposal. She knew that if she gave him enough incentive, he'd show up in a heartbeat. It was endearing, if anything. She just didn't want to concern him. "Listen I'm getting a bit tired, I think I'm gonna head up to bed."

Jimmy stuttered a bit in response before he exhaled a defeated sigh, "Oh, okay. Well, I'll talk to you soon, then." He sounded slightly hurt under his generally calm tone. The guitarist thought he hid it well, but Ellie knew him to the point where even the lightest sigh could give away exactly how he was feeling. However, she chose to ignore it, only leading her into her farewell.

"Goodnight, Jimmy." she said. The two exchanged goodnight's and I love you's before finally hanging up the phone. Taking in a deep breath, Ellie exhaled shakily as a rogue tear slipped down her cheek. She composed herself, however, and made her way to the kitchen to grab herself a drink. Or ten.

---

masterlist | playlist

Taglist: @diaryofafan17 @tophats-n-lespauls @witchesdust @jonesyjonesyjonesy @paginate54 @hejustsatisfiess @salixfragilis @princesspagey @reincarnated70sbaby @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @kyunisixx if you want to be added to the list lmk!

#ghostin'#jimmy page #fanfic #fanfiction #led zeppelin

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cloverque · 4 years ago

Text

monochrome (miya atsumu)

黑白 (宮侑)

your life is like the black and white panels in a manga, until a certain someone dyed his vivid colours into yours

5190 words

past highschool, present post timeskip, nostalgic themes(?), tiny enemies to lovers trope, theme revolves around unconfessed love until years later

a reuploded request from an anon-then-now-my-friend! <3 not edited

Monochrome. Your life was like the black and white pages in a manga; dull and neutral. There was nothing special about you, for the most part, you were ordinary.

At some point, almost every girl would like a colourful romance. One with blooming roses, scintillating sparkles and handsome young men. Topped off with promises of abiding love and vibrant days filled with never ending mirth.

However, you never pursued it, nor did it find you, and that was alright. Besides, what was the point of heart throbbing ardour if it were all to come to an inevitable end?

With a few clicks, your computer was turned off. You began clearing your desk, sorting out your folders and files when your colleague spun around in their chair.

“Hey, (l/n)-san. Did you hear?” The mousey woman enquired. A small smile was etched across her makeup coated face as she continued. “There’s going to be a dinner function! It’ll be held in the fancy hotel across the building.”

Your coworker across your table stood up to peer pass the desk divider. She chimed in with avidity, “I’m soooo going tonight! I heard the other divisions has a ton of hotties. No way in hell I’m gonna turn down a chance to meet ‘em!”

“Geez, you’re always thinking about men...” The lady beside you sighed, before returning her gaze back to you. “So, wanna go together?”

You shook your head, “Count me out. I already have plans tonight.” As you got up and shifted your handbag, you smiled apologetically. “Let me know if anything interesting happens, though.”

“Oh, okay... See you tomorrow,” she bid you farewell, albeit disappointedly. You nodded and bid the duo the same.

When your back was turned to them, the lady across the divider whispered to the one beside you. You knew what they were prattling about: that you were plain and boring. Wordlessly, you left the room, your heels clacking against the tiles as you made your way to the elevator.

As the double digits on the digital screen changed to singular ones, you closed your eyes.

Truthfully, it would be a lie to say that your life was completely monochrome. It was once colourful, after all, despite being for a short period.

Those days had involved a boy named Miya Atsumu, and he was the one who had brought colour into your high school days.

It all began in a manga shop.

You were in your second year of high school then, and would frequent a manga shop on the way home. It was sandwiched between a decently sized Lawson and an antique shop, on a quieter side of town.

The shop was abundant with not only manga, but also multifarious classics and second hand books. With its reserved location, not many knew of its existence, thus it went unnoticed by hordes of rambunctious manga fanatics.

It was perfect for you; your little safe place. However, you didn’t know that it was also frequented by a particular faux blonde.

You had wandered in with a specific title in mind, looking forward to getting your hands on it the whole day. Meanwhile, the boy’s brain was so preoccupied with volleyball and upcoming matches that he didn’t notice you, in an identical school uniform, lingering in the same section.

And like a sick cliche, your fingers bumped into his.

Withdrawing your hand, you snuck a side glance, only to see a broad chest in your line of sight. You slowly tilted your head to meet his steely gaze. Flinching, you practically whipped around when you realised the boy was towering over you.

“Um, sorry...” You mumbled out whilst backing away.

Atsumu’s brows were scrunched together as he took in your form. He half expected you to latch onto him with your eyes, but you were looking away, at anywhere but him.

Maybe once you got a good look at him, you’d react like all the oestrogen in his life. Squealing his name, asking for his number, all thirsty for his attention.

However, all you did was stand awkwardly, without uttering a single word. The oddity took him aback slightly. Thus, he decided to play with you a bit.

The teen perked his brows slightly before pointing at the manga’s spine. “Don’t cha want this?” He gestured, making you nod. A cruel smirk sneaked up to his handsome face.

You thought he was going to pass it to you. Instead, he slipped it out of the shelf and sauntered away. He slapped a few notes onto the cashier’s counter, making the store owner jump at his boldness. The boy with the undercut swiftly shuffled towards the entrance, his book bag slung over his back with the manga dangling from his long fingers.

Gawking, you watched as the automatic sliding doors opened for him. You wanted to call him back, to demand him to return it to you. But you knew it was impossible. The manga wasn’t yours, after all.

The blonde cocked his back to catch a glimpse of you. Noticing your conflicted expression, a mischievous grin spread across his face. He stuck out his tongue at you, cackling as your eyes widened and your face flushed. Then he left as soon as he came.

Your entire body trembled with embarrassment and humiliation. What just happened...!?

To make your day worst, you later learnt that the manga was the last one in stock. The rest of your day was spent stabbing your food and antagonising your pillow.

The next day, you found him again in the manga shop, but with grey hair. You almost dropped your book bag as you stomped towards him, fuming and ready to pounce on him.

The ash grey haired teen glanced at you with a deadpanned expression as you stopped beside him, shaking with infuriation.

“How could you do that to me yesterday!? You took the last one! The! Last! One!” Your nostrils flared as you exhaled. “Now I have no wait an entire week– And why’s your hair grey now–!?”

Despite your confrontation, the boy remained unfazed as he cocked a dark brow. It took him a few seconds to realise. He glanced up at the ceiling then back at you.

“Sorry, I think you’re mistaken,” he began politely, maintaining a neutral expression. “But the person you’re talking about is probably my obnoxious twin.”

This encounter had ended with a deep bow and a deluge of apologies. Nodding, the more reserved twin gave you a cold ‘ok’ before ambling away.

Since then, you realised that there were two twins in your school: the Miya brothers. The asshole was Atsumu, and the quieter one was Osamu. Or at least, they had seemed that way to you, on account of your personal experiences.

You wondered how you had never noticed them until now, especially when they stood out during assemblies due to their dyed hair. Not to mention their questionable popularity with the girls.

Maybe Osamu was reasonable, but who in the right mind would fall for someone like that blonde jackass Atsumu!?

On one occasion, you were shuffling past the gymnasium for a nurse’s errand when you saw a glimpse of the volleyball club. Bright blonde hair swished past the doors, and you remembered your meeting with the haughty male.

“Nice kill!” A deep voice hollered, followed by the high pitched squeaks of shoes against polished floor. You peeked past the doors, eyes shining with curiosity, when the twins you had met suddenly jumped into the air.

Your eyes were set on Atsumu as he deftly set a volleyball for his brother, who spiked the ball without delay. Sweat glimmered down the faux blonde’s forehead, tracing his jawline before dripping onto the floor. The slap he gave Osamu’s hand reverberated in the gym as they shared matching grins.

Seeing them together really highlighted the fact that they were carbon copies of each other. Your train of thoughts were derailed when a member with dark hair and narrowed eyes pointed in your direction.

Atsumu glanced at you, his smile turned upside down whilst you jolted up. With confident strides, he was in your face in an instant. He gave you a once over before grimacing.

“Get lost.”

Then he slammed the door shut in your face. As you stood frozen in place, unable to register what had happened, Osamu pressed his lips together in a thin line.

“‘Tsumu, that’s no way to treat a lady.”

His golden haired twin simply snorted in response.

Your next encounter with Atsumu took place at the manga shop again. A fight had broken out between the two of you, both unwilling to relent. Gripping the limited edition copy tightly in your hand, you refused to budge.

There were extras, but you had arrived first before the haughty boy and both of you had touched the same copy. Consequently, warring with each other.

Both of you shared exasperated expressions, tugging and pulling desperately for the manga. Neither wanted to throw in the towel. Atsumu was much stronger than you, clearly, his biceps flexing as he clenched his teeth and tried to pry the book from you.

Meanwhile, your two feet were planted firmly in the ground, all your strength poured into rooting yourself into the tiles or risk falling backwards if he were to let go.

However, he would not in a long time.

“Let go, you brat!” He chided, grunting with exasperation. Tugging it back harshly, you almost stumbled.

Growling animalistically, you retorted, “Never!” Then you lunged forward to bite his hand.

The blonde released the manga with a yelp, shoving your face off his hand brutishly. You stumbled back in response, tripping and landing on your bum. A string of saliva dribbled down your lips as you stared up at him, grinning victoriously.

Atsumu glowered, holding his bitten fist with his other hand. A row of teeth had punctured his skin, and you realised there was a little blood. “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

As you stood up and brushed your school skirt, you adjusted your book bag and gripped the manga to your chest. Trembling with anger, you were giddy with pride and sheepishness.

“You slammed a door in my face, asshole!”

Then you rushed past him to pay for your purchase. Atsumu turned to watch you leave, your loafers tapping against the floor softly as you ran off. But when you hopped out of the outlet, you gave him a side glance and stuck out your tongue.

Atsumu recognised the gesture; he pointed a middle finger in return.

Days and weeks went by like that, with Atsumu and you contending against each other to buy the weekly Jump, the first copies of mangas or limited edition prints. It was childish, for two seventeen year olds to tousle with each other.

Atsumu would ruthlessly tug on your hair, screaming bloody murder of your existence and stubbornness. Meanwhile, you resorted to calling him all sorts of colourful words, which would result in the shop owner throwing the two of you out. There was even a time when you both were banned from stepping in until you made up.

It happened eventually, and the two of you would at least communicate with less insults and more civilly. Your peace treaty with him didn’t mean letting him snag first copies of new arrivals, though. But Atsumu and you settled it through more human means, instead of ripping out each other’s hair.

There was one moment in which Atsumu had made your heart beat a little faster, too. It had happened like this: you were found beside the school’s vending machine, crying because you had dropped your shoujo manga in a muddy puddle. It would never have happened if it weren’t for a group of girls that bumped into you on purpose.

Your emotional breakdown ended when Atsumu found you in that pitiful state, squatting by a murky ditch with a floating black and white book. He had stumbled upon you by coincidence, as he was buying a Pocari Sweat.

He recognised your (h/c) locks and your figure even from afar, and when he realised you were crying, he was stumped. Sure, you would cry when he tugged at your hair during fights, but for him to see your tear stained face outside arguments felt weird.

Atsumu remained silent, standing near you as you sniffled. You knew he was standing behind you, you could tell him from the hairdo in the shadow looming over you.

Instead of asking what had happened, his eyes scanned the scene and realised that a limited edition manga was floating in the dark brown puddle. Probably yours, he had thought. He connected the dots instantly. Atsumu may be childish at times, but he wasn’t an imbecile.

The blonde setter knew how much you loved your manga, how brightly you would beam whenever you got your hands on them. For you to ruin it must have felt like a heartbreak, or worse.

“Was that the one we bought two days ago?” He mumbled, and you nodded meekly.

With a soft sigh, he approached the vending machine. After slotting his coins in and pressing a button, a drink dropped to the bottom. He bent down to scoop it out, mumbling as he did so.

“You can borrow mine, if ya want.”

At that moment, your mind went blank. This immature boy was going to lend you his? It wouldn’t be such a big deal if this was anyone else, but this was Miya Atsumu you were talking about.

An insolent big shot who refused to let you win. Someone whose mental age degraded when he fumbled with words to support why he deserved to get the first copy. A selfish guy who never wanted to share.

You glanced up at the teen silently, tears still streaming down your face. He flinched as you croaked, “Miya-kun... Are you sick or something?”

“...Never mind. I think I’ll retract my offer!” He huffed, spinning on his heels as he shuffled away.

Scrambling to your feet, you blurted out, “W-Wait! I was joking, I swear!”

You chased after him, and although he couldn’t hear it, you wished Atsumu wouldn’t be able to hear your heart pounding in your chest.

Inevitably, the blonde twin and you grew closer. Sometimes, you would walk with him to school, though it was more like you were third wheeling with him and his brother. The two of them would converse about volleyball, homework, and even little things like bentos and nonsensical topics.

You grew used to their frivolous antics, and Osamu eventually opened up to you as well. The two of them even let you call them by their first names, especially since referring to both of them as ‘Miya’ was confusing.

Atsumu only learnt of your name when you both exchanged it, and when you told him he could call you by your first name, he chaffed you for the overfamiliarity.

There were days when the blonde and you would visit the manga store together. And in time to come, the teenager grew fond of your ebullient nature towards comics. He would poke fun of you for reading ‘unfeminine’ genres, such as horror and sci-fi. Whenever he found you peeking at boy love books, you never heard the end of it.

At the same time, you began to appreciate him, despite his snide remarks and snarky attitude. There were times when his jokes crossed the line you, making you pout and sometimes cry, but he would apologise through his actions, like gifting you the new arrival of your favourite manga.

It was almost impossible to get him to apologise, due to his pride, but he always made up with you in his own way. And for that, you were grateful.

As months passed and you both became close friends, Atsumu began hanging out with you during school hours. On one occasion, the both of you hid in the rooftop to eat lunch. Osamu wasn’t present due to a cold, so it was just the two of you.

Picking up an octopus shaped wiener, you gave it a half hearted glance before popping it into your mouth. Atsumu was rambling about morning practice, blathering on how pissed he was that his brother wasn’t around to spike his perfect sets.

Suddenly, without thinking, you interrupted. “You know, you’re not a bad guy, Atsumu.”

Your eyes were fixated on his when you blurted out. His cheeks were stuffed with rice as he turned to you, surprised. With a perked brow, he gawked at you like you had grown a second head.

“Wait, are you falling for me already, (y/n)?” His deep, buttery voice was muffled by the contents in his mouth.

You grinned and waggled your brows. “No way, your personality is like sewage water.”

With a giggle, you leaned in to take away the small grain lingering by his lips. Your soft knuckles brushed against the corners of his lips and he swore he had stopped breathing.

Atsumu’s cheeks were dusted pink at your kind yet intimate gesture. Nobody had done that to him before, and he was unsure of what to feel.

Taking notice of his sudden silence, you raised your brows. “Atsumu, are you okay?”

“Haaaah–?! What are you talking about, I’m perfectly fine!” He scrunched his brows together, wrinkling his nose in disgust. Then he turned away, his back facing you as he scarfed down the remains of his lunch.

You tilted your head, unsure of what had happened, but resumed eating too. Truthfully, he was a little abashed. Ever since then, his heart would beat a little faster for you too.

Atsumu’s presence in your previously dull life meant new found colours. Days went by in a blur, with jokes, nonsense and memorable memories. He had snuck into your life when you least expected it, and so did you in his.

You began watching the volleyball team‘s matches. Sitting in the back row, you would cheer for Atsumu in your own special way: inwardly.

You didn’t understand much about the game, but you knew that your blonde friend loved it more than anything else, even his manga. So it must have meant something strongly to him, and as a friend, you had to support him.

The game was moving quickly, a bit too quickly for your taste. You didn’t comprehend what was happening, but at least Inarizaki was winning. The intimidating black screen beside the court flashed with a new digit, eliciting an eruption of cheers from the cheer squad.

“Isn’t he cute? He’s kinda dreamy,” a girl in front of you sighed to her friend, and you perked up instantly. Unconsciously, you began eavesdropping. “I wonder if Atsumu-kun has a girlfriend...”

“Are you kidding? Men that hot are either gay or taken!” Her peer bubbled with conceited giggles.

You wrinkled your nose at the insensitive response, but you mulled over her words. You had never seen Atsumu with a girl before. However, there were instances when you stumbled upon him during a confession. You would hide in a bush or behind a wall, listening curiously as the girl rambled on about how much she loved or admired him.

Without fail, his words would be laced with distaste while turning them down. Usually with harsh responses like ‘you don’t even know me’ or ‘I betcha say that to every guy’. He would even go as far as ripping a love letter to shreds.

They were total knock outs to the girls’ feelings. And as they ran away in tears, you couldn’t help but feel devastated for them. Atsumu sure was a prick at times.

“Him? Having a girlfriend? Never in a million years,” you mumbled under your breath.

Strangely, your chest had tightened a little with the thought.

The game finished shortly and the volleyball team gathered together to thank the watching spectators. Atsumu’s eyes bore holes into the black banner hung over the wall when suddenly, he glanced in your direction.

You flinched under his discerning gaze, stiffening nervously. He didn’t know that you were here until now.

His eyes narrowed a bit before a smirk settled on his sweat stained face. Your face burned, a little too hotly for your liking, and you looked down at your shoes to hide it. Why was he staring at you like that?

The girls in front of your row squealed that he was looking in their direction, but when they called out to him, he looked away. His cold attitude almost made you snigger.

Now that the match was over, you decided it was time to head home. You were ready to descend a flight of stairs when a familiar voice called your name. Spinning around, you came face to face with the handsome blonde, who was wearing a shit-eating grin.

“Didn’t know you came,” he breathed, arms akimbo as you cocked your head.

“Yeah, I wanted to cheer for Osamu.” You gave him a cheeky, lidded eye smile. An irk mark formed on his temple as he chopped your head with his hand.

The two of you went off after that: you teasing him on his missed serve and how his brother had to pick up his slack. Atsumu bared his fangs and fired empty threats and curses, all the while you pulled your bottom eyelid and blew a raspberry mockingly.

A dark haired teen in a jersey with the number ten stood idly by his teammates. Leaning on a railing, he hummed. “Who’s that, Osamu?”

The mentioned twin watched his brother and you with a softened expression. As the two of you fought like cats and dogs, he chuckled. “Someone who can stand Atsumu more than me.”

“Huh... If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they’re in love.”

The Inarizaki volleyball club watched as Atsumu pinched your cheeks and spread them ruthlessly, earning a high pitched whine from you. You resorted to clawing his face and Osamu had to put an end to both of your antics–

The voice on the intercom derailed your train of thought. Getting up, you stumbled out of the train in a daze.

You had unwittingly gone down memory lane, a bit too much. As your heels tapped against the concrete sidewalk, you glanced up at the dark sky twinkling with a streak of stars. Clouds rolled by leisurely, and waning luna peeked from her wispy blanket.

The rest of your high school had gone by in a blur, most of it involving Miya Atsumu. There was one time when you went to an anime and manga convention with him.

You smiled fondly at the distant memory: Atsumu was teary eyed as he shook hands with his favourite mangaka, who was a hunched over man. Out of respect for him, he knelt down, to be the same height, and took a photo with him in that state. You had never imagined a day would come when he would kowtow to someone.

Taking out your phone, you searched up for his social media and tapped on his Twitter account. There were posts after posts of his activity in the MSBY Black Jackals.

A silly selfie with a dog filter made you titter aloud. The comment section was overwhelmed with questions of his next match, his day, relationship status and the like.

Atsumu was an even bigger shot now. He also moved nearer to his volleyball team’s hometown, just to be able to practice longer hours there. He had left his hometown a while ago, and the both of you hadn’t contacted each other for years.

You once had his phone number, until a sneaky crow took off with your old mobile phone. No clue as to why that had happened.

Sighing at the thought, you stepped foot into your destination: a manga shop. The same one you had first met him. It never really changed; faded beige walls and oak wood shelves with blanched posters. Walking back in here only reminded you of how colourful your life had once been.

“Welcome back, (l/n)-san!” greeted the young boy behind the counter. He was the grandson of the shop owner, whose knees had deteriorated over the years.

You glanced in his direction. “How’s business been, kid?” He gave you an ‘ok’ sign and your expression softened. “Hope it’s okay if I take a bit. I finally found some time to shop.”

“Store’s closing in ten. Don’t take too long!” He waved back earnestly and you nodded.

Making your way past the familiar shelves, the clacking of your heels resounded in the almost empty store. Your hair bounced behind you as you tread past the sports manga section, past a tall, blonde.

You had failed to notice the old friend behind the mask. The blonde man glanced up the moment you passed, and his eyes widened in shock.

Without hesitation, you picked up the latest issue of Jump. It had been a while since you read manga, as everyday was swamped with work. Flipping through the black and white pages, your mind drifted to the reality in the panels.

You were oblivious to the male strutting towards you. As he approached, he took in your more adultly figure and attire. You were dressed in a white button up which clung to your chest, and a black pencil skirt that hugged your waist and hips.

You looked ravishing, to say the least, and Atsumu had to swallow the lump in his throat. There was no mistake, the beautiful woman in front of him was you.

He stopped behind you, hands jammed into his jean pockets before pulling down the white mask. The man with a dark cap atop his fluffy blonde locks peered past your smaller form to take in the manga in your hands. With a soft hum, he spoke up.

“Something’s never change, huh?”

You jolted up in surprise and whipped around, only to come face to face with an intimidatingly tall man. He was almost 190cm, perhaps, and was built with muscles that even his clothes couldn’t hide. His broad chest was in your face, and you had to tilt your head back to meet him in the eye.

With a lopsided grin, the man took off his cap. His tousled blonde locks sprang out of their cage, and your eyes widened in recognition while he smirked, “Sup, (y/n). How are ya?”

“Atsumu?!” You gasped, the Jump going slack in your hands as you dropped it. It flopped onto a pile of similar copies whilst said blonde placed a finger over his lips.

“Shh, I’m here on my day off!” He teasingly hushed, and you instantly clamped a hand over your mouth to silence your confused screaming.

Was this for real? How could the boy, who had painted your monochrome life full of colour, be standing right in front of you? Right now and right here?

Your eyes flitted from the pooling chocolate brown in his eyes to his larger stature. Raking his figure with your wide eyes, you came to a conclusion: Atsumu had changed.

You knew that he was more built from his self-centred topless selfies, but seeing him upclose was a whole different experience. He has grown taller too, though he had always loomed over you either way, but it was still a little frightening how much he could grow even after puberty. Meanwhile, his undercut was relatively the same, except his bangs were not pushed back, unlike before when they were swept to the right.

The only thing that had remained unchanged was the playful glint in his orbs and the smug smile tugging on his lips.

“I...Is it really you, ‘Tsumu?” You murmured, albeit teary eyes as you removed your hand from your mouth.

Running his fingers through his golden mane, he chuckled, “Do ya know anyone with these good looks?”

Your eyes narrowed playfully and you pinched his cheeks. Huffing, you told him off, “Stop trying to be so suave, weirdo!”

“Geh– But seriously, I thought you died or something! Ya never responded to my texts,” He spluttered out as you pulled his cheeks harder, and he managed to add, “But lucky me, you’re still kickin’!”

“Wait, you what?” Your lashes fluttered in confusion. You hadn’t gotten a word he had said since the beginning.

“I tried contacting you once in a while, but you never replied.” He blinked, and you looked down at the ground, suddenly embarrassed.

“Ah... My phone was stolen by a crow. And I lost your number...”

“Wait, for real? That sounds like something straight outta a manga!” He chortled as a sheepish smile snuck on your flushed face.

When Atsumu had calmed down, he placed his hands over yours, detaching them from his cheeks. Holding your hands gently, he wore a mask of calm. You were a bit confused by his sudden, gentle gesture. You gave him a questioning look, although your heart was starting to pound uncontrollably behind your ribs.

Squeezing your hand lightly, he began quietly. “(y/n), I know it’s been a long time and all... But I never forgot the times we had together. And, well, I know it’s kinda late, but I liked you.”

A blush crept up on both of your faces as he continued clumsily. “I kinda still do, so, well... If you’d like, we should–“

“Shop’s closing!” Atsumu and you jumped up in surprise. The boy was standing at the end of the section, a look of genuine surprise on his baby face. Glowering, the blonde barked fiercely.

“You ruined it, ya moron!”

The teen flinched before scuttling away. You burst into giggles as the upset athlete scowled. Whipping his head back to you, he scrunched his brows together, exasperated.

“What’s so funny?” He enquired, still wearing a frown.

Breathing shakily, you wiped away a tear in your eye. “You never really changed, Atsumu!” With a lidded eye smile, you grinned at him innocently, heart swelling with nostalgia.

His glare softened at your expression. Shooting a quick glance at the returned boy, who was peeking from the shelves anxiously, he clicked his tongue.

“Let’s ditch this place,” he grunted, taking your hand in his again as he dragged you out of the shop. You stumbled but eventually matched his pace.

With an apologetic glance at the young boy standing in the shop, you turned back to Atsumu. “Still as mean and pushy as always, aren’t cha?”

The faux blonde gave you a side glance, still pulling you along. Eye rolling, he slapped back on his cap and looked ahead, “Shut up.”

Neither Atsumu nor you couldn’t deny that both of your hearts were pounding. The two of you ended up taking a long stroll in your hometown, catching up on the pass few years and more. The night also had ended on a high note.

Once again, Miya Atsumu’s vibrant colours had seeped back into the monochrome panels of your life. Perhaps, this time, a romance would bloom between the two of you.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　fin.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu request #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #atsumu fluff #atsumu x you #haikyuu atsumu x y/n #haikyuu x fem reader #🍡.atsumu

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rebeccccccaaa · 4 years ago

Text

𝕲𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖓

____________________________

𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌!𝕭𝖚𝖈𝖐𝖞 𝖝 𝕶𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙!𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝕬𝖀

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: When the Queen falls sick and passes away, King Bucky must marry another, preferably the princess of an alliance kingdom nearby, in order to keep peace and order among the lands. However she is the most god awful human being anyone has ever met. Her guard however well she was definitely not what the king expected.

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: a little make out? ;) (part three)

𝕬/𝖓: /^-^/

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 1.6k

part one | part two |

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Bucky watched from his window one morning out to the field behind the castle. Steve, Sam, Natasha, and you were all shooting arrows.

A knock had disrupted Bucky, and when he opened the door it was one of the king’s servants alerting him that Charlotte requested to take a walk in the garden with him. Bucky dressed himself and went to the ground level where Charlotte waited.

They walked to the garden greeting all the servants in the castle. Well, Bucky did. Charlotte ordered everyone to do something, from doing her laundry, having someone tidy her room. She was very spoiled and quite rude.

She only ever talked about herself but surprisingly she asked him a question for once.

“So how long have you been king?”

“Well, my parents grew sick when I was seventeen years old. I was crowned months later.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Well that didn’t last long.

Silence grew between the two awkwardly, until your laugh not far from the two was heard. You along with Nat, Sam, Steve, and Wanda were messing around showing off each other’s archery and sword skills under a very large tree.

To say you were skilled with a bow and arrow was a total understatement. Every shot you made hit directly in the center of your target, completely blowing him away. He really wanted to ditch Charlotte and just hang out with his friends and you. Learn more things about you.

A woman approached Charlotte to whisper in her ear. From what Bucky could barely hear, there was a letter for Charlotte waiting in her bedroom. Her mood instantly changed and she almost ran away from Bucky.

“Oh I’m so sorry. I need to return to my bedroom as soon as possible. Will you be alright?”

“Yes, go ahead. I see my friends in the field; I’ll go there for now.”

“Ok well, farewell and I’ll see you for supper!” she shouted running away.

Bucky walked down and caught sight of his fellow friends making a ruckus.

“There’s the bastard king!” Nat said.

“Such a charmer, Nat,” Bucky responded.

“Wanna shoot?” you asked him, handing him your bow and an arrow.

“I’m not very good,” Bucky responded, grabbing your equipment.

Bucky totally lied. He was in fact an excellent archer but he didn’t want you to know that. Maybe you’d offered some help and that would give Bucky more time to get closer to you. Bucky was so infatuated with you and your beauty and grace he was beginning to wonder if maybe it wasn’t a good idea since he was supposed to marry the king’s daughter, not his knight.

Bucky stood horribly and angled his bow awkwardly. Steve, Sam, and Nat all looked at each other very confused. Bucky shot his arrow and it didn’t even reach within 10 feet of the target. It was like a sad wilted plant; shooting practically underneath itself.

“I told you I was bad,” Bucky said, turning to you.

“No, it’s just- uh- well,” you heavily stuttered. That was probably the worst shot you’ve ever seen. Wanda even got closer to the target than he did. Bucky simply grinned waiting to see if you’d been blunt or lie to him. Knowing you for a couple weeks now however he knew you were going to be blunt.

“Yeah, sorry. That was awful,” you said laughing.

“Maybe you should teach me. You know as a king, who am I to not know the basics of archery.”

That’s when Steve, Sam, and Nat pieced everything together. Bucky was really pushing this thing to it’s limit. They wondered if it’s gonna backfire or if he'll finally get to live his happily ever after he deserved. That’s if you love him back.

“I just might. It was pretty horrible. Not even Wanda was that bad her first go.”

“You don’t need to rub it in, doll.” Woah. That’s new, you thought.

“Well-” you were cut off by a woman calling for you, the king requesting for your service for a moment.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere!” you said before leaving.

Bucky smiled to himself before looking up to find all his friends staring at him like he was stupid.

“Maybe you should teach me about archery and I’ll teach you about the male anatomy,” Natasha mocked.

“Nat,” Steve warned.

“It’s not like that,” Bucky defended.

“Now Buck, don’t be a liar,” Steve said to him.

“I’m not lying!”

“Bucky, we can all tell you like the girl but that’s not why you’re here. You should be with Charlotte anyways getting to know her. That would be a more responsible thing to do than joke around with the king’s knight because she’s pretty,” Sam interjected.

“Charlotte left me to read some letters and I saw you guys which is why I’m here in the first place. Anyways, Charlotte is awful.”

“It’s true,” Nat whispered.

“She only ever talks about herself and when she runs out things to say she just stands there. Like she doesn’t do anything, she’s just there. And I try to talk to her but she shows absolutely no interest in whatever I’m saying. But Y/n. She’s just so… lovely. I wish she was the king’s daughter and not Charlotte.”

“Sorry Buck,” Natasha said, rubbing his back.

“It’s alright.”

“Well, I am quite hungry so I’m gonna see if the chef has anything we could snack on before supper,” Steve said.

“I’m coming!” Sam said following loosely behind Steve.

“Guess I’m headed off too,” Nat said.

“What about Y/n?”

“Stay here and wait for her. Tell her we went to the kitchen. And maybe, I don’t know,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Nat,” Bucky said sternly.

“Bye!”

Bucky had gathered as many arrows as he could find and laid them next to his feet. He leaned them against the trunk of the tree and took his stance to shoot a couple arrows. He hit the target every time no hesitation. You stood from afar watching quietly smiling to yourself. How could you let him fool you? Of course he knows how to utilize a bow and arrow. He's a king.

“So were you going to tell me or was I just supposed to find out this way?” you questioned him walking up to him.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, looking down timidly.

“It’s ok. You have a good hand.”

“Thank you. You as well. Probably the best archer I’ve ever seen. We have a young knight,” Bucky started.

“Steve told me,” you told him.

“Yeah, Peter. He would love to learn from you if you are ever willing to visit.”

“I would love to.”

You stood there looking into each other's eyes for too long. His eyes though were so hypnotizing. Blue as the ocean, sparkling like the stars. You could look into them forever if you had the chance.

“Should we gather the arrows? Friendly competition?” Bucky spoke up.

“Yes,” you said too loudly, “Sorry, yes.”

You began running to gather the arrows, the sun shining down on you making you look so beautiful to Bucky. You looked like the purest of gold. You were everything Bucky wanted. You were perfect.

You turned to look back at Bucky suddenly stopping you running, making him completely crash into you bringing you both to the ground. You fell underneath Bucky as he crushed you with his body weight. He was much heavier than he looked at first.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have stopped so suddenly. That was stupid of me,” you said frantically.

“It’s ok, darling.”

You felt hot. You felt his entire body pressed against yours; and you liked it. You wish this would happen under different circumstances if you were being truthful. Heat crept up your neck and to your cheeks unsure of what to do.

Bucky moved a strand of hair from your face leaning in ever slowly. He wanted to more than anything in the whole world to feel your lips against his own. He kept leaning until his lips finally touched yours. You moved gracefully against each other like two perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Your hands came up to his face holding him delicately. His hands moved to your waist pulling you into his body as much as possible. He felt so happy. For the past couple weeks you and Bucky have been getting somewhat close in a friendly way. Neither of you wanting to admit to the other that you wanted more.

But this wasn’t ok. He wasn’t yours as much as you wanted him to be. He was Charlotte’s.

“This is wrong,” you whispered, lightly gasping for breath.

“I know, but it feels so good,” he whispered in your neck.

“We’ll get caught and they’ll punish me. I’ve never been punished,” you were a little scared.

“You won’t. I’m sorry,” Bucky said sitting up.

“It’s alright.”

You sat in silence before looking at each other too irresistible, crashing your lips to his once more. Bucky pushed you down once again humming in content to your affection you were giving to him.

What you didn’t know and didn’t see was that Charlotte in fact sat from her bedroom window watching everything happen.

======================================

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙:

@velvetcardiganbucky

@chipilerendi

@heavenhatesme

@austynparksandpizza

@ahahafudge

@onlyhereforthefandomandgiggles

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #king!bucky #knight!reader #royal!au #bucky barnes au #marvel smut

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bokutosworld · 4 years ago

Text

perfect match | miya osamu

a/n: i am so thrilled that haikyuu is back!!! can’t wait to see more of inarizaki and (excuse my bias) osamu!!!! <3 so here’s a very self-indulgent piece in celebration of their comeback haha

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

wc: 2.6k words of fluff and bit of angst if you squint lmfao.

summary: in which you and osamu go in circles, walking the fine line between keeping the friendship or taking the leap in your relationship. inspired by the prompts: “It’s you, it’s always been you.” + “Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

'for the last time, i am telling you oyakodon cannot be better than katsudon. nothing beats a good crisp, deep-fried pork or chicken over a steaming bowl of rice,' you said, putting your lunch tray on the table with a thud and settling on the bench.

'yeah, sure. but they're basically the same thing,' he slips in the space next to you, placing his food and getting his chopsticks ready. 'they're both donburi meals, only difference is how they're prepared. what matters is they're both delicious.'

taking a spoonful of your meal, you chew fast before deciding to answer back, 'i know that.' you pause to catch your breath, earning a worried glance from osamu as if he telling you to eat slowly. 'but katsudon just ranks superior. end of discussion.'

the both of you, cooped up in your own conversation, were oblivious to the stares and smirks of your friends in the table. atsumu, deciding to be the braver among the peers, cuts through the silence. 'you know, we could hear you bickering from the queue all the way here,' a hint of tease evident in his voice and osamu smacks his twin.

suna perks up, joining the conversation, 'that's like the third discourse they had today, man. and it's only lunchtime.' the rest of the group laughs and shakes their head, as atsumu adds, 'will there ever be a day where we enjoy some peace and the two of you just quietly get along?'

you share a look with osamu who simply shrugs and continues to chomp down (albeit rather cutely) his food. your friends weren't wrong but it's not like you and the boy hated each other's guts. your close friendship with him was comfortable, so much so that the two of you would talk and argue literally about anything. but as always, there were no hard feelings in those moments of disagreements.

it's just the way it has been since the day you met the twins in middle school. they were both kind and took care of you like their little sister. but somehow, you found yourself growing more attached with the quieter twin. there was something about conversing with osamu that made you feel like you can open up to him about anything. he was smart, a good listener, a natural conversationalist that he always had something ready to answer to your quips. he would always indulge whatever topic you brought up and challenge your ideas and beliefs - the latest one being the katsudon versus oyakodon dispute.

you notice the piece of rice stuck in the corner of osamu's mouth, and you were just about to wipe it off when hikari calls out your name. your hand falls limp on your side and you turn to her, 'what's up?'

'are you free this weekend? i was supposed to set up my cousin on a blind date with my co-worker but she just informed me that she can't go. they have exams this week. so,' she purposely dragged on her words, weighing if would consider being the substitute. raising an eyebrow at her, you completed the sentence for her, 'so, you want me to go on the blind date?'

she beamed, clasping her hands together as if she was reciting a prayer. 'please! i will owe you my life, this is a one time thing, i swear! i made him a promise. you know how i hate breaking promises.'

osamu took note of the way you sighed and how your shoulders slumped at your friend's request. you were never one to say no, you always found it difficult with your kind-hearted nature. so it wasn't a surprise to him when you turned and asked, 'we don't have anything planned for this weekend, right?'

truthfully, osamu wanted to say that you did have some sort of hangout planned. he didn't know why he was finding it hard to say no right now, so he was relieved when his brother spoke. 'you should be free, y/n,' swinging his arm around his twin's shoulders, atsumu looked at him and smirked. 'besides, we have a practice match this weekend. we wouldn't be able to do the usual hangout 'til after 6pm.'

this made you exclaim, 'great! you can give that guy my number then!' hikari proceeded to tell you the details - it was happening on saturday. she already arranged for the meetup time and place to be 10 am at the subway station near the park.

as hikari continued to talk to you about your date, osamu couldn't help but listen in on the conversation and take note of the details. he didn't miss the way your eyes lit up at the mention of your date's name - taichi - to which you remarked that it was 'a handsome name.' osamu rolled his eyes at that. lost in his own thoughts and conflicted feelings about your blind date, he wasn't able to control his facial reactions anymore - a slight look of envy and disappointment ghosting over his features and atsumu was enjoying every bit of it.

weekend arrived and to say that you were excited for the blind date was an understatement. you were looking forward to it, the evidence seen in the way you have prepared your outfit (with the help of osamu who you video called last night). as your closest friend, osamu tried his best to be thrilled and happy for you. he knew you have been wanting to experience a first date for a while now. but a feeling was gnawing at him, a feeling that wishes it was him who was taking you out on that weekend. nonetheless, he gave you a pep talk and reminded you to just have fun and be yourself.

so here you are now, standing in the middle of the station and waiting for your date. it wasn't as crowded as you thought it would be so you kept an eye out for taichi. he texted you just before you left, informing that he would be wearing a denim jeans and black jacket. keeping your eyes peeled for a person who fit that description, you see a shadow of a person jogging across the station and a voice calls out your name.

'y/n!!!!' you spot taichi running over to you, he crouches to try to catch his breath when he reaches you. when he's calmed down, he immediately apologizes, 'i am so sorry. have you been waiting long?' you assure him that it's fine and after a few minutes of back-and-forths of apologies and assurances, you two go on your way to your first stop: brunch.

taichi was indeed as handsome as his name initially suggests. he's got a boyish charm to him, and it would be a lie to say he wasn't drawing you in. all throughout the brunch, he proved to be someone who can keep a conversation with you. it was one of your worries that your date would find you boring, but osamu told you would do fine. thankfully, taichi could hold his ground with you, very much like your best friend who can immediately answer your witty quips with his own humorous comebacks. in your mind, the two boys were very much like and you couldn't wait to tell this to osamu.

after eating, he brought you to an aquarium. your genuine excitement made taichi smile as he shared that it was worth an effort asking hikari what you wanted if he could see you exude so much happiness. you made a face and hit him, 'i didn't know you were cheesy. thank you.' he then led you two inside and spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the huge aquarium, in awe of the different fishes and feeling if you were lost in the underwater.

but all good things come to an end. by the time your date ended, it was already 6:33 pm. though it was still early, you had a curfew of 8 pm and taichi offered to accompany you home.

dropping you off at the front gate, he looked at you, hopeful, 'i had a really fun time today. hikari did great by setting me and you up together.' you laughed at this, admitting you've almost forgotten that this was a blind date, 'it's like i've known you forever!' despite the surroundings being dark already, you didn't miss the movement of a shadow just a few blocks away. you had a hunch as to what or who it was, and you couldn't wait to expose them.

'well, i don't want to keep you out any longer,' taichi began saying his goodbye. 'i'll text you when i get home. we should do this again.' your attention was brought back to the boy in front of you and you chuckled, 'don't be a stranger! just text or call me anytime, okay?' taichi began walking back to the main street, and he waved as you shouted your last farewell, 'be careful on the way home.'

when he finally turned to the street, you cleared your throat and called, 'you can come out of your hiding spot now, dumbass.' the person you were referring to sheepishly moved where the light can cast over him, revealing, 'osamu.' he could see the way your eyes glinted with a hint of mischief and he knew he wouldn't be able to escape your interrogation.

you ran up to him and tackled him, poking his sides which made him fall into a fit of laughter. he took your hands to make you stop, 'stop that.'

'how long have you been hiding out there,' you ask osamu. it wasn't impossible to miss the tinge of blush on his cheeks, your question obviously caught him off guard. 'well, osamu? are you gonna answer me or are you just going to keep staring into space?' you wave your hands in front of him, but he quickly gets hold of them and laces his fingers with yours. it was a usual gesture between the two of you, but right now, why did it feel so intimate?

after moments of silence, he speaks up, 'did you have fun on your date?' his eyes boring right into your soul and you swore your heart started beating faster. for some reason, you couldn't answer right away, your voice somehow betraying you at that moment. 'it.. it was nice.'

osamu continued to stare intently, waiting for you to finish. so you went on, 'they're a good person. he's very funny, you'd like him too, you know! he surprised me by taking me to the aquarium,' at this point, you were rambling just to avoid the awkward silence. 'it was so big, osamu! you'd like it there too. and then -'

'will you take me there with you?' now your heart was threatening to beat out of the chest. osamu was rarely serious with you, and right now, you could feel that he wants to say more but he's restraining himself.

you already had an idea of what he was trying to say. the butterflies in your stomach was starting to go wild at the thought. but you wanted to hear it from your best friend himself, so you feigned ignorance, 'what do you mean, osamu?'

the grip on your hands tightens and he pulls you a little closer to him. osamu wants to say that he wishes it was him who saw your smile in the aquarium, who you talked with nonstop in the cafe, who you exchanged stories and laughter with throughout the day. he wants to say that it should have been him who took you out on your first date. all these emotions and words were too much for him, so he takes a deep breath and rests his head on your shoulders instead. perplexed at his actions, you immediately wrap your arms around his waist. 'osamu? are you okay?'

'yeah, let me just stay like this for few minutes.' he buries himself deeper in the crook of your neck, getting lost in your familiar, comforting scent. he knows why he was acting like this and he was screwed. he loves you, but he doesn't want to risk ruining the friendship you have built. after a while, he stands up straight, shooting you his signature smile and ruffles your hair.

'thanks, i was just really tired from the practice match. i guess i missed our number one cheerleader.' he steps away and begins to walk home, but he doesn't get too far when you shout, 'are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you've been dying to ask me?'

he stops in his tracks. this time, you close the distance and he feels your presence behind him. 'come on, osamu. no secrets, right?' at this, his resolve breaks and a dam opens, his unrequited feelings for you finally flowing out in the open. osamu turns around and engulfs you in a warm embrace, and you just know.

'if you wanted to ask me out, you could have just asked me you know,' you tease him. flustered at you what just said, he looks at quizzically, 'how...'

'you're not very subtle, osamu. and the stunt you just pulled tonight basically confirmed you like me too,' you hope he caught your words at the end. because honestly, while being best friends with him has been the best thing to happen in your life. you've always wondered what it feels like to take the next step in your relationship with him.

it takes him a while to register your remarks and when the realization sets, he finally asks, 'since when?' the question was vague, but you knew what he was referring to if the hopeful look in his eyes was anything to go by. so you take a courageous leap, finally crossing that bridge to move to something more. you caress his cheeks, osamu leaning close to the warmth of your hands, 'it's you, osamu. it's always been you.'

he finally closes the gap, bringing your body to his in a tight hug, as if he was afraid to let you go. you stay like that for a few minutes, the passersby cooing at the 'lovely couple' on the street. he pulls away for a quick second, then all of a sudden, he was leaning in. your eyes instinctively shut, waiting for that sensation on your lips, but instead you feel him press a tender kiss on your forehead. he was always a man of few words and through his actions, you know that everything will never be the same again, but it was the kind of change that you have always hoped for.

so when you two go to school the following week, holding hands and finally not bickering in the morning, everyone in your friend group was dumbfounded. again, his twin was the only one brave enough to point out the difference, 'took you guys long enough. congrats, osamu! i knew you had it in you!'

hikari wanted to ask you about taichi, but after the date, the boy has already his expressed gratitude and shared how he felt that your thoughts were occupied by someone. and certainly, looking at you and osamu now - sitting by each other's side in peace and in your own love bubble - it seemed that you have already found your perfect match.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuucreations #osamu x reader #miya osamu x reader #haikyuu fics #haikyuu x you #osamu fluff #osamu scenarios #osamu drabbles #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu miya osamu #I AM LAUGHING AT MYSELF ONCE AGAIN #THIS PIECE GOT SO LONG I PLANNED THIS TO BE JUST AROUND 1.5K

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onetoomanyfilms · 4 years ago

Text

champagne problems (reggie peters x reader)

hi everyone! here’s my first ever imagine and my first contribution to the jatp x evermore collaboration! warning... tissues are advised, maybe? x

inspired by: champagne problems by taylor swift

word count: 2k

the jatp evermore masterlist

——————

There had always been the thought in your brain. That the relationship was too amazing, too good to be true. But you loved him anyway. You fell deeply and truly. So, as you saw Reggie’s heart break in front of you, you couldn’t help but wonder how it had ever come to this.

——————

“He’s going to propose tonight.”

“What?” you looked over at Alex. The two of you had known each other since you were little and there was no way he was going to start keeping things from you now. Especially when you were about to ditch the party you were supposed to be getting proposed to at. You were ready to get back into their pjs and snuggle down. Having never been one for parties, not even when they were hosted by Reggie. As much as you loved him, the idea of them didn’t settle right. “He came over to us last week. I’m not going to lie, I’ve never seen him so happy. I think you’d just been on a date or something?”

“Yeah, last Thursday. To that café by the beach.”

“Well, he came into the garage and said ‘I’m gonna marry them’. He’s been a stress head this past week, that’s coming from me.” You chuckled slightly but your brain was ultimately filled with Reggie. He was going to propose. Just at the thought of it, a smile wiggled its way onto your face. “And I was about to go and ditch the whole party…”

“Yeah… I’m sorry I feel like I’ve ruined it now.”

“No, no,” you wrapped your arms around Alex, “you’re the reason we are together in the first place. Nothing could ruin tonight. Not even your blabber mouth.”

—————

Alex had left you to go and help Reggie set up. Sitting on your bed, you felt every positive emotion in the world bubbling away in their stomach. The red flannel shirt Reggie had given you last November was wrapped tightly around their shoulders, the smell filling up your nostrils. Everyone had always thought you were weird, keeping their distance saying you were ‘messed in the head’. Then Reggie came along. His bass guitar, goofy smile and heart of glass came and filled every gap you felt in your life. Closing your eyes, you remembered the night it rained as you were walking home. The lack of a coat or umbrella meant you were slowly but surely getting drenched. Then a Chevy came driving up beside you. You had expected it to zoom past and splash you with the dirty drain water. But it stopped. A recognisable, brown-haired, adorable dork opened up the door. “Hop in.”

Reggie never hesitated to help, never once thought about himself over others. Even when it came to his parents, you would often find yourself climbing the tree beside his window to check on him. Or you’d hear a tap tap tap on your bedroom door and see him standing there, the pained look on his face that you hated but saw too often. But the minute the two of you would intertwine in each others arms, all the problems in the world went away. You were both each other’s escape and home.

Smiling, you gently wiped the tear that escaped down your cheek.

Now, what to wear.

—————

“Hey, Luke?”

“Yeah Y/N?”

“Can you tell Reg I’ll be a bit later please? I’m gonna take the longer way around, try and escape the midtown traffic.” You buckled up your seatbelt, double checking the mirrors and turning the lights on low beam. “Yeah, sure. Just…” Luke didn’t know you knew about the proposal so had to tiptoe carefully around his sentences, “just, drive safe but don’t be too long yeah?”

“Of course dummy. I’ll see ya later. Love ya.”

“Love ya too.” Starting the ignition, the butterflies fluttered around your body. The streets of LA had a certain romantic quality to them as the sun set. The street lamps igniting gradually, the couples walking hand in hand down the boulevards. So much possibility in this town. But as you drove down the road with love in your heart, others were driving with a little too much alcohol in their system.

One of which was driving right towards the person Reggie kept a picture of in his wallet.

—————

Everywhere ached. Nothing hurt really, just as if your body had been pulled in every direction possible. But as you turned your attention to your surroundings, you hadn’t expected you had been pulled away from their body. A couple ran over to your body, the man performing CPR on the chest. “What? What’s happening?”

“Oh, it’s rather simple my dear.” A voice spoke from behind you as tears began to stream down your face. “I’m afraid to say you’re dead.”

“No.” Shaking your head, you began to run around to the people around. “Help! I need help, please!”

“They won’t hear you. Like I said, you’re dead.”

“But I’m here, so, what am I? A ghost or?”

“Yes, you’re a ghost my dear.” No. This can’t be happening. You had just been driving, going to the party. The party.

Reggie.

You collapsed to the concrete floor below. Reggie. He’d be at the party. Talking to everyone. Smiling. Waiting for you to walk through the door. Waiting to propose. “I’m sorry. I sense you were heading somewhere important.”

“My boyfriend. He was going to…” you had to spit the word out, “propose.”

“Perhaps.” You scrambled up quickly, spinning towards the strangers direction. “Perhaps what?”

“Perhaps, I can give you a few more minutes. You know, to say goodbye.” You knew there would be a catch, but you had to say goodbye. Reggie deserved it. “How?”

“I’ll do my work, you’ll have 30 minutes to bid your farewells and then we will meet here again.”

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch now, darling. You’ll be able to be seen by people as well as touch them. But I can only do 30 minutes.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” You held you hand out to the stranger in front of you, shaking in agreement. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Y/N, and you?” “Caleb, Caleb Covington.”

—————

Reggie had been pacing out back for a solid 15 minutes by the time Luke and Alex came to check on him. They’d been caught up with the other guests and the expensive champagne Reggie’s sister had brought, but seeing their mate in this state was something neither of them could ignore. “Hey bud,” Luke slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, “you ok?”

“Yeah, Reggie, it’s like you’re on a runway or something.” The anxious brunette looked between his best friends. “I’m fine, I promise. I just… I feel like Y/N should’ve been here by now.” They huddled together in a group hug, each one excited for the night ahead.

But as they spoke out the back, you arrived, waiting by the back gate with this Covington guy. “So which one is the lucky man?”

“Reggie, the one with the goofy smile in the middle.”

“Well, he’s a good looking one isn’t he?”

“Yeah, yeah he is.” You stared at the three of them. When you eventually did go, you knew Reggie would be alright because they had each other.

“So, Y/N. I’ve been thinking.” Here it was, here’s the catch. “Maybe it is best if, if you decline his proposal.”

“What?” You hadn’t even thought that was a possibility. All you wanted was to go up to him, greet all of them and then pretend you forgot your phone in the car. “I’m just saying. He’s going to see you and do it straight away. And if that happens, you should say no.”

“No, I…” but then it struck you. He’d wait for you. He’d obviously find out you were dead sooner or later but, if you said no. Perhaps, he’d move on quicker. It made your heart break even thinking about it, no matter doing it. But you had to put Reggie first. “Anyway, here we go.” Suddenly, with a click of his fingers and a push through the gate, you found yourself standing right in front of the three boys you adored so much. Their faces looking right at you.

“Y/N! You’re here.” You felt a pair of warm arms wrap around their middle, lifting them up into the air. Reggie always acted like an overexcited puppy, it seemed today was no different. As he was about to drop them to the floor, Y/N squeezed tighter. The minutes already seeming to fly by. Each one filled with kisses, hugs and affection. But as you stared into each others eyes, the world around them disappearing from existence, the other two boys looking on at them with heart eyes Reggie decided it was the right time. Little did he know, it never would be anymore.

“Y/N,” he coughed, clearing his throat a bit before he said anymore. His hand slipped to the box in his pocket, his fingers grazing the leather outside. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now. I know, I’m not the best with words but…”

“Reggie…”

Here it goes.

“I can’t be with you anymore.” The image of his face in that moment, would be engrained in your memory forever. The heartbreak, the disbelief, the sadness. You’d caused that. You’d caused his heart to shatter like glass. He was speechless. So you had to create the words instead.

“I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment we met. You stumbled into the room and the whole world seemed to light up. You made my life change completely and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this to you. A part of me will always love you but I can’t. You’ll find the real thing instead. Someone you can hold everyday and will follow you wherever you go.” You paused, swallowing back the words you wanted to say, opting for the ones that’d let him go. You cradled his head in your hands, wiping the tears sliding down his rosy cheeks. “You’ll find someone better, who will make you realise all of this was just the beginning. You won’t remember today, you won’t remember all of my problems. I mean, you’re playing the Orpheum next week! At 17! You’re too young for all this marriage stuff anyway,” you hesitated for a second, “we both are. You’ve got so much ahead of you. I’m just sorry I can’t be there to live it with you.”

Looking over at Alex and Luke, you nodded slightly. Hoping they got the message to look after him. And you knew they would, with their lives. But also to tell them goodbye. They weren’t Reggie but Alex had been like a brother to you since childhood, Luke filling that role later in life too. You hoped they knew how much they meant to you. Cause they meant the world. You kissed his forehead and turned in your spot. Slowly but surely heading towards the gate. Part of you wanted him to call you back, tell you none of this was happening. But it was, and as you made your way through the gate you felt it all come crashing down. You sunk down leaning against the rickety fence behind, hugging your knees in tightly.

“Y/N!!”

You heard the shout and the creak of the gate door. Reggie came sprinting through, looking every which way to see where you had gone. He couldn’t see you anymore. That was it.

“I love you, Reggie. I always will.”

And with that, you stood up. Trying to hold yourself together as you walked towards Caleb. The two of you silently walked away from the scene as two flashing blue lights zoomed past. You did the right thing, didn’t you? He was going to have a full life, a happy life. A long life in which he’d find someone else who could love him enormously.

That’s what you thought at the time. Before the gig at the Orpheum, where the boys met a fate you’d never wish on anybody.

——————

other collaborators in the series: @vanillann @pink-flame @dxestars

#jatp #evermore #jatp x evermore #jatp x reader #reggie peters #reggie peters x reader #reggie #reggie x reader #julie and the phantoms #reggie peters imagines #reggie peters imagine #julie and the fat ones #imagine

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spiltscribbles · 4 years ago

Note

you did the mini fic way i loved you (which was amaaazing) but how about champagne problems where remus says no to sirius' proposal because he gets spooked by a couple of purebloods :(

~Notes: Nonny babe! I can’t believe you made me write such angst😩😩😩 This isn’t quite that but I hope you like it anyways🥺🥺 ILU!!!

A Reblog Is Worth The Sexiest Bottle Of champagne! | The Way I Loved You FIC | Send Me A Prompt/Song??💜

“I’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, I am afraid of being completely unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here.”

—L.M. Dorsey

When Remus’s father leaves for the final time three weeks before his tenth birthday, his Mam spends only two days in bed before she drags out an old bottle of Dom Pérignon and pops it open, pouring them each a glass with a smile the wrong side of worn as she beckons him forwards with an indulgent bend of the knuckle. “Come along, mon amour. Just this once, just to say farewell.”

As he thumbs the skinny tumbler bubbling with the amber liquid that’s been his mother’s favorite ever since growing up in her Northern French town on the outskirts of Paris, Remus wonders if he’ll ever forget the words his father spewed before leaving— the declaration that they must be cursed if their first child turned into a monster and their second came out stillborn. Wonders if he’ll ever forget the livid, borderline murderous expression that spilt over his mother’s delicate features before she screamed at him to leave for the final time. Wonders if he’ll ever not feel so weary— So destitute.

“’S all just champagne problems mon petit lapin,” she says in that airy way of her’s that somehow still radiates a knowledge beyond his reach. “None of it ever matters, not truly. Not ever.”

Remus eyes the dark circles smudged against her pale skin, and the way her caramel curls fall limply from her bun. She’s always been the most beautiful woman in the world through his eyes but he now thinks she might be the strongest too. So strong that she’s sitting there, right in front of him in their small kitchen— and she’s pretending that her tiny son, her first and only born, hasn’t brought absolute ruin to her life that should’ve been buoyant and lovely for such a pretty, quick witted Muggle girl.

“Yes, I know Mam,” he says instead of the truth, because if he’s being at all honest he’s always been a bit of a coward and a bit too desperate for some semblance of normality.

It becomes a mantra of sorts to Remus as he stumbles into adolescence. He calls every inconvenience in his life, champagne problems, and drinks the hurt away in a secret nook off the astronomy tower that he purposefully left off the map he and his friends had created with a sheer pulse of brilliance and adventure and a need to leave their marks on this stupid sodding castle. A castle that’ll inevitably kick them out on their arses from it’s relative safety with such cold indifference. A castle that will soon be brimming with a new generation of students sullying the same spaces, same corridors they once spent their days laughing and jeering and frolicking about— creating mischief in it’s hallowed halls. The one and only time that Remus was able to hold his breath and wrap himself in warmth he never knew and will never know again, not ever in the same sort of youthful ignorance— One that he only feigns to hold when around his friends because he thinks he’s never been young, not the way they are. Remus reckons he aged a century and a half after the bite and a century more after his father had left, and then a millennia when his mother was diagnosed with third stage breast cancer when he was a fresh fifteen. A death sentence dressed up in bows of apology by the doctors and shiny wrapping-paper of potential hope if the aggressive treatments they employ make a difference. And soon enough the ever green that was his juvenescence will turn brittle and gray and awash with memories of hopelessness, only adorned sparingly by memories of Peter’s quiet companionship and James’s affable grins. Lily’s easy laughter and Sirius’s searing snogs. Instances of respite that were eventually drown out by the shitty Wizard champagne he’s able to finesse after sucking off the twenty something who works night shifts at the Hog’s Head.

But it doesn’t matter.

All of his issues are inconsequential at the end of the day; from a paper cut, to his worst transformations to the time his first boyfriend sneered at him with pure distain after he had snubbed his wanting to go further subsequent two months of furtive touches and inconspicuous dates. It’s all just a load of shit, a collection of champagne problems just like his Mam had said all those years ago.

Even that incident the morning in fifth year when he found out that his best friend— the boy he would’ve done just about anything for, anything only just to see him smile— had weaponized his most hated form. When Sirius nearly made him into a murderer, into a beast, when he nearly proved true the self fulfilling prophecy that every werewolf is as dark as creatures can become. The charms of veelas, combined with the insatiable cravings of vampires and the wily natures of goblins. When Sirius had nearly turned Remus inside out, made him everything he hates.

But no. That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. Because paper cuts heal, and the full moons set, and James hexes a legion of boils to sprout up all along Quintin’s face. And at the end of the day, he’ll always love Sirius first and last and the very most. He’ll always forgive him any indiscretion because when Sirius’s hand— soft palms and callus fingers— caresses his side, Remus feels close to whole, close to alive, close to something real. And God Remus loves him so much it aches in his chest and creeks in his bones.

So when he comes back to Hogwarts the night after his mother’s funeral— two months divorced of that incident, two months of painful quiet and empty arms and heart wrenching need— Remus lets Sirius collect him into his embrace, and lets them cry together under the canopy of night fall, and when Sirius begs him to come back to them, to forgive him, to let him inside the most protected nooks of his mind once more, all Remus says is “yes,” and “All right,” and “I never stopped.” He doesn’t tell him that he doesn’t think he’s ever ben there’s in the first place, doesn’t think he’s ever been here or anywhere. He doesn’t tell him that sometimes it feels like he’s some faded sepia photograph come to life in the form of his too skinny body and too large eyes and too gangly limbs. He doesn’t tell Sirius that he doesn’t think he’s ever been anything meant to last on this plane of existence, but he does let Sirius kiss him and hold him and fuck him because it’s the first time since Sirius left Grimmauld back in December the he looks something close to at peace. And Remus knows that he never wants to be someone who makes him frown with that protruding vein on his temple. Someone like Sirius— Someone so beautiful, so vivid, so alive— deserves a life painted in technicolor. And Remus refuses to be the person to drain the vivacity from his every breath. To scuff out his lust for life.

The first time Sirius asks Remus to stop gulping down the champagne and gin and Ogden’s finest by the fist fulls, it’s their final night of their final term and after Remus barbs a little too forcefully that their dingy little dormitory is the one place for him after Lily jokes that it’s a madhouse.

“It’s gonna bloody kill you Remus, it’s already doing it for fucks sake. You can’t even walk straight most mornings damn it!” He shouts in the quiet of their room while James and Lily are ensconced in her own bed on the other end of the tower and Peter is off snogging his Hufflepuff girlfriend in some deserted third floor closet.

“All right,” Remus tells him after swallowing down the last of his champagne, words pouring out his mouth like warm molasses and arm slugging languidly when he tosses the empty bottle to the side before patting the empty end of his bed for Sirius to lie down besides him. He doesn’t want to fight, doesn’t have the energy for the shouts and accusations and hurt that they always fling at each other during these more heated moments. He supposes he doesn’t have much energy for anything at all anymore.

Sirius stilts from where he’s looming above him, tongue poised for another verbal lashing. But he must see something in Remus’s face, or probably just feels exhausted in similar ways, because he only breathes in— tension melting from his shoulders— and slinks off his jacket before shuffling into the comforter besides him.

And in the future Remus will wonder whether if he remembers it correctly that it felt like everything was standing on an axis as Sirius rode his cock— slow and steady and minutes that feel like decades. Or maybe he’s just recalling it differently because he realized for the first time that night that for every inch of him that loves Sirius, the other boy feels that same sort of enthralling passion. Only difference is that Sirius’s always been the greedy sort, the once and future king of all or nothing. Remus is the contrary of that. He’s lived with nothing before and he’s perfectly fine with living that way again, had never really expected much from his life anyhow. But Sirius deserves to have everything and Remus knew then— will always know, that he could never give him that.

The year following their graduation is beautiful in that way that transitional periods always are. A turning of an age eclipsed by sunlight and laughter and kisses that makes Remus feel like they’re melding into one another, becoming indelible parts of each other’s very skin and bones.

But it’s also a time when Remus realizes just how helpless his condition has made him, how despite his top marks in no less than seven NEWTs, he’s always just a werewolf in the eyes of the Wizarding world. So while Lily studies in St Mungos and Peter takes up post at the ministry and Sirius joins James in the Auror’s academy, Remus works days at a quaint bookshop with a doting elderly woman who makes him soup when she thinks he’s looking peaky, and a gay night club with a handsy boss that leers at him with an intrusive air and asks regularly if he’s still with that boyfriend of his.

Remus feels like a fraud.

So when he gets that letter from Dumbledore sent to the flat that Sirius insists is their’s but Remus only ever calls his— he replies with a hasty scrawl on the back of some spare parchment, telling him that of course he’ll do anything to help the Order. Tells him that he understands the discretion that’s required of such a mission. He tells his past headmaster that he grew up collecting secrets like school children collected friends, so this won’t be an issue. He doesn’t tell him how it’s a practice so ingrained into him that sometimes even he doesn’t know who the fuck Remus John Lupin is most days, doesn’t know the seams that string him together like a pair of tattered trousers. He doesn’t tell him that he’s only afraid of one thing and it’s his boyfriend’s dedication, because Sirius is the sort who loves unadulteratedly and without conditions. Sirius doesn’t yet understand that the boy who he’s let inside the most intimate parts of him, the boy who he shares a bed with night after night is the same monster a younger him— in a spur of passion— had planned to deploy as a means of destruction.

Sirius doesn’t understand how foolish it is to intwine his life with Remus’s, even if he thinks it’s some sort of challenge, if he looks at it with the romantic lends that he could love the monster out of someone. And it’s positively idiotic to think as much, like Sirius’s tender hands and sweet whispers can be Remus’s cure.

It’s so fucking stupid! And occasionally Remus wants to bash his head into a wall, but instead kisses him with devouring intent before he could.

The owl nips at his finger for the last remnants of the stale biscuit Remus had offered it in thanks and he watches it soar away like he could never do.

The first time Sirius tells Remus he loves him, it’s in the bathroom of the Longbottom’s small cottage— amidst panting breaths and thrusting hips and grappling hands as they try to get one another off as quick as possible before someone finds them in such a compromising state.

Remus has just spent three weeks in a werewolf camp in the south of Glasgow, and came here to find Sirius as soon as he can home. And while they get lost in one another in this cramped loo he forces himself not to think of how Sirius had been chatting up and chuckling with Emmeline Vance.

Emmeline Vance, who is a beautiful blonde witch with vibrantly green eyes and a full smile that isn’t even slightly crooked like Remus’s own. Emmeline Vance who is the pure blooded daughter of the Swedish Minister of magic, and who came here to London because her country has never discriminated against half bloods or muggle borns— even if they brand their dark creatures with tattoos and lock them up in cages whenever they try to speak up against their lack of human rights.

Emmeline Vance who is the perfect complement to Sirius’s dark brooding and pale eyes and charisma that radiates off of him like the leading man in a novel written during the generation of disillusioned artists who had survived the first great war in the Muggle world. And Remus sometimes feels like Sirius’s gaze is trained on him like Gatsby towards the green light he watched every night thinking of his beloved. And sure Lupin and Daisy might be a pair of flowers but one is poisonous and the other is bright with life and Sirius has always been the sort to pick the worst option because he’s a glutton for punishment, and sometimes Remus thinks that’s all he is. Sirius’s warped way of punishing himself for being born into such a fucked up family— fettering himself to a poor, halfblooded, halfbreed, as some sort of declaration that he’s not the heir of the House of Black any longer, that he rebelled against them with every fiber of his being. That he’s the precise antithesis of their values even if he shares the same eyes and imperious air and steadfast beliefs on top of his effortless genius— even if they are beliefs that juxtapose against his family’s blood supremacy.

And Remus hates these sorts of contemplations, hates how they make him feel like a trader to the love between them. But he forgets about it all when he remembers how Sirius glanced up and caught his gaze when he first stepped into the living room, amiable expression morphing to one of pure wanting the second he spotted him, coldly disregarding an extremely glum looking Emmeline, as he strutted towards Remus and dragged him to the only empty spot and kissed the moonbeam scars that litters his skin and calls him beautiful despite it all— Maybe even because of it.

The eleventh time Sirius asks Remus to marry him, it’s the night of Regulus’s funeral, when his limp body was found slashed against the grounds of the Hampshire woods after three weeks of being declared missing.

It’s spoken in a voice that’s so raw and primal and demanding that it makes Remus curl into himself when he hears it, getting lost in the sensations all around him— Sirius’s hot breath skirting the back of his neck, and Sirius’s large hand clenched around his dick, and Sirius’s length pounding into him with such force that their headboard smacks against the wall. And when they’re done, Sirius slides out of him amidst a round of peppering kisses along the ridges of his spine and expanse of the shoulders and on the hinge of his jaw. It feels like not an apology so much, but a plea. And Remus knows that the last year has been rough on them, on their relationship. Knows how difficult it is that Remus has been spending nearly as many nights spying on the wolves as he has in the flat. That Sirius wants to know where the fuck Dumbledore is sending his boyfriend, that he hates Remus only slightly because he’s so tight lipped about it all.

He’s argue that James tells Lily what he’s up to, and Remus would remind him that they’re married, and then Sirius would get a look on his face that’s so betrayed and so pained and so furious that Remus spends the night on the sofa instead— Well he would if Sirius didn’t have a habit to coax him back into his arms with mumbled apologies and gentle caresses and barely their kisses before the night ends.

So Remus lets him do the same now, and he ignores the questions about where he was all this time and shrugs off the way Sirius tries to reason that none of them know how long they have left living, how he wants to spend the rest of his days as Remus’s husband. And he watches Sirius flutter his eyes closed and waits for his breath to even out.

He never tells Sirius that he wants to wed him so badly that it’s cutting against his heart like a knife licked with flames, even if he’s been in love with Sirius for practically half his sodding life. Ever since he had jauntily invited him to sit in the cart with him and a bespectacled lad, along with another that was a bit plump and eager looking.

No. Through all the shouts and begging and sneers of tonight, Remus never dared tell him that. Remus knows Sirius, and if he had said as much, then that would’ve been it for him. Sirius would have fought for Remus with every inch of his being. He would’ve made sure that Remus excepted his love, that he would have utilized the ferociousness and ferocity and indignation that breathes in his every vein and what makes up the marrow of his bones as the beautiful and brilliant and incandescent scion of the ancient and most noble House of Black— would’ve done so until Remus gave into his demands.

Remus promised himself a long time ago that he’d never be the one to scuff out the light that shone in Sirius’s very soul. He’d never watch himself turn Sirius into a burnt shell of anything bright and fluttering and lively that ever existed in the spaces of his ribs and the valleys of his chest. Not like what he did to his Mam— eventually killing her. Not like how he drove his father away because the dread was too heavy of a burden to carry.

Remus would rather Sirius hate him then watch him suffer through that.

Anything but that.

So Remus quietly packs his few belongings in the same trunk he’s had since first year with a flick and swish of his wand. And he pens Sirius a missive that he just doesn’t feel the way he had when they were in Hogwarts. And he tells him that his missions have him traveling all over the continent and it’s too much work to constantly be coming back home. Tells him that he knows about the brunette Muggle boy he had fucked back in August when he thought Remus was fibbing about his whereabouts and he lies that it’s all right because he tells him that he’s been shagging a professor from Beauxbatons named Benjy for the past six months whenever he was sent to France under duress of Dumbledore. Even if the truth is that he refuted his every advance because his love for Sirius will always sing the loudest in his heart.

He sets the goodbye on the dresser that is only piled with Sirius’s things now, and doesn’t let himself sneak one last kiss while Sirius continues to doze. Tries to imprint the image of him— so gorgeous and so so human— in his mind’s eye, hopes he’ll recall the precise slope to the small of his back and the flyaway strands of his ink black hair and how he breathes in two beats longer with every third exhale. Knows that he’ll never memorize just how jutting his cheekbones really are, or how his lashes kiss the top of them with such grace that it’s close to angelic. And he’ll never again feel the neediness Sirius could evoke with his fingers and tongue and cock, but maybe that’s all right. Maybe Remus got his time in the sun and now he has to repent for steeling that snatch of heaven for all these years.

Nothing could’ve kept the flame between them flickering for long, and that’s a truth Remus knows as inherently as his knowledge that Sirius was the great love of his life— But Remus was always destined to either spare him or burn the golden tapestry that made up the picture of Sirius Black until it was nothing but ash.

So he leaves and he tells himself that it’s the right decision for both of them.

~My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist~

#wolfstar #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #SIRIUSXREMUS #REMUSXSIRIUS #MARAUDERS #HARRY POTTER SERIES #I'm sure no one will like this lol #sigh #spilt ink

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pinoyrella · 4 years ago

Text

“A Love So Beautiful” Chapter 8

Chapter 8: “Happy Birthday!”

FT: Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shoyo, Kageyama Tobio, Yachi Hitoka + Y/n’s Parents + Coach Ukai + Takeda-Sensei

TW: Mild Language

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst, Coming of Age + Slow Burn

- Fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff! And angst/drama :00000 in this chapter!

WORD COUNT: 9,000+

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸

A/N: hiii hiii 💖!! happy one month anniversary for the start of this series 🎉! i think it was feb 15 when i posted it, and now its march 15!!! time rlly flies so fast omg, we’re already 8 chapters in :,000

- i also had so much fun researching about Miyagi’s Museum of Art for this chapter! i hope to go someday!!

- AGSKJ OKAY OKAY- anyways i hope you enjoy i love you!!! 🥺💞

“I can’t believe we had another quiz today!” You whine, a single hand gripped onto the strap of your bag, as the other hangs loosely. You walk in front of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, heading towards the school gates.

“It wasn’t even that hard” Tsukishima says bluntly, keeping his eyes focused on the pavement.

“Easy for you to say! Tell me Tsukki, what’s the lowest grade you’ve ever received?” You hault, turning abruptly to face the blonde male.

He looks down at you before smirking. “My lowest?” Yamaguchi lets out a low chuckle, enjoying the company of his two best friends.

“My point exactly! Mr. Smarty-pants, you have no say in what is hard or not!” You bring your arms up, crossing them as you begin your pace. “I’m just glad we have Friday off, and the entire of next week! Thank god for break.” You sigh as the three of you make it to the school gates, you turn to your two friends before bidding a farewell.

“Here’s my stop, thanks again for walking me out, now go hit some volleyballs! Hurry, you guys are going to be late!” You wave, making your way down the pavement towards the bike racks.

As you turn the corner, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima set foot, making their way to the gym for volleyball practice.

“Ah! Tsukki” Yamaguchi calls to his friend. “Y/n’s birthday is coming soon, do you have any plans?” He asks. The blonde takes a moment to think before replying, “Mmm… not really”. “Huh?” Yamaguchi hops in front of his friend, stopping him in his tracks. “What do you mean not really?” “Not really as in, I don’t really have anything big planned.” Tsukishima says, as he moves past his friend towards the gym.

Yamaguchi lets out a sigh before following. The two continuing their pace to the gym, only to find Takeda-sensei as they round the corner.

“Oh, Sensei!” Yamaguchi greets, rushing over with Tsukishima. “Yamaguchi-kun, Tsukishima-kun, just in time I have some very big news to share! Especially for you and Kageyama-kun. Hurry, in we go, in we go!” Takeda-sensei announces, pushing the two boys inside.

“I’m home!” You call out as you slip into your bunny slippers. Just as you enter your room, you hang your bag against your rack before changing into your pajamas. You sit at your desk, opening your pencil case and taking out the slip of paper with the confession.

‘I’m in love with Y/n’

You reread and stare at the written confession before bringing your palms up, screaming into your hands.

“Oh my god”

You say quietly to yourself, setting your hands on top of your desk. And with a deep breathe, you plan to ask the other’s what their scripts said, praying the script between your fingers is Tsukishima’s.

- The following day, you make your way into class.

“Good morning my dear friends!” You greet out loud, only to notice Yamaguchi in your seat, huddled closely to Yachi, as Hinata perches over his desk.

You wander over, confused before Yamaguchi notices you, pulling away, the other two following as they glance up to you. Yamaguchi immediately stands from your seat, holding your chair out for you.

Tsukishima, at his desk, turns his head from his notebook to peek at his friends, thinking about how suspicious and obvious the three’s “subtle” behavior is.

“G-good morning Y/n!” He stutters before walking away to his seat besides Tsukishima.

You blink in confusion at your friend’s weird behavior, before turning your attention to your desk’s surface. “How did you guys think you did on the quiz?” You ask curious, taking your notebook and textbook out, setting in on top of your desk.

There is only silence before you realize Yachi and Hinata whispering to one another, they didn’t even hear you ask the question. A bit hurt, you call out to them, only for them to respond back with a jump in surprise.

“Y-y/n! Hi!” Yachi greets as she fiddles with her fingers. You stare at her before turning to Hinata. Hinata sits upright, avoiding eye contact with you as he gulps.

Before you can question what was up with their very odd behavior, Kageyama along with Ono-sensei makes their way in, greeting the class and beginning the instructions. In the middle of the lecture, you find the script in your pencil pouch, remembering your plan the night before. Once break begins, you’re sure to begin asking what script they got.

As the bell rings, you quickly close your notebook, immediately turning to your side only to see Yachi, Hinata and Yamaguchi run out together. Letting out a sigh, you turn behind you, but you end up finding Kageyama asleep, his head down to his desk. Not wanting to disturb his rest, you reach for your bag, pulling out your coin pouch.

As you turn to get out of your seat, a tall figure shadows over you, slowly looking up you realize it's just Tsukishima. You stare at him before he speaks,

“What? Let’s go” He begins walking towards the entrance, and you follow after him. Making your way to the vending machine together.

“Don’t you think Yachi, Hinata and Yamaguchi have been acting weird all morning?” You ask, keeping your eyes on the road.

Tsukishima stills, staying silent recalling the day before in the gym.

Yamaguchi and Hinata stand besides Yachi as they watch their teammates practice from afar.

“Watching everyone practice so hard makes me a bit nervous for Nationals” Yamaguchi admits, taking a sip from his water bottle.

“We’re gonna play against powerful teams! I’m so excited!” Hinata says as he rubs his neck towel around his forehead.

“And you guys have another practice match next week...” Yachi sighs, feeling exhausted for the boys just by remembering. “Yeah! I can’t wait to see Aone-san!” Hinata cheers, remembering his gentle giant of a senior. “I wonder if Asahi-san is still... worried about him.” Yamaguchi scratches his cheek lightly.

“What are you guys doing just standing there?” Tsukishima makes his way over to his three friends. Just as he settles, standing beside the three, a memory pops into Yamaguchi’s mind.

“Ah! Y/n’s birthday is this Friday!” “Oh! You’re right!” Hinata exclaims. “Have you guys planned anything for her?” Yamaguchi turns to his friends, sparkles emitting from his eyes. The two go silent, before Yamaguchi cries. “You’re kidding! I had hopes that at least you two had something prepared!” Tsukishima watches as Yamaguchi breaks down in front of the two.

“Oh!” Hinata exclaims. “Don’t worry, we can leave it all to Kageyama, I’m sure he’s got us covered” Tsukishima rolls his eyes to the name of the setter.

“What?” Kageyama asks, making his way over to his four friends, bringing the towel in his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“Kageyama, do you have anything planned for Y/n’s birthday?” Yamaguchi asks, Kageyama stares at him before looking away, mumbling. “Uh… Yeah”

“You lie!” Hinata accuses before Kageyama takes the towel hanging around his neck, flinging it at the boy. “SHUT UP!”

“Should we throw a small get-together?” Yachi asks, the attention of the four turning to her.

“Yachi-san that’s a great idea!” Yamaguchi compliments. “Oh like a surprise party?” Hinata asks as Tsukishima joins. “There’s no way you’re going to be able to keep your mouth shut” “Stingyshima...” Kageyama looks down before looking up at the blonde, agreeing with him. “He’s right” “KAGEYAMA! Wanna bet?!” Hinata glares before Kageyama gives the shorter boy a smirk. “Three curry buns” “DEAL!”

“HEY!” The four boys jolt, before turning their heads to face Coach Ukai. “First-years, stop standing around and get over here!” Yachi watches the four run off, a small smile spreading her face.

“ki.... Tsukki!” Tsukishima is brought back to reality before looking to you. You huff before you continue to walk. “I feel like I’m being ignored, even by you” You state, as you both stand in front of the vending machine.

Before you can open your coin pouch, Tsukishima slides money into the vending machine.

“Tsukki! How rude, I was just about to-” He takes your wrist, bringing your finger to push the button for the strawberry milk. Your eyes widen as he bends to pick up the now dispense drink. Poking the straw in before standing back up, handing it to you. “You’re overthinking” He says before walking back to class.

You bring the straw up to your lips, a smile turning before you run after him. “Tsukki!”

After school you make your way to the bike lot, stopping as you notice Yachi and Hinata not too far away.

“Yachi! Hinata!” You call out to them. The two visibly tense up before turning around to greet you. “Yachi-san, I’m going to go ahead to the gym!” Hinata says before running off, leaving Yachi with you. ‘That was so close!’ He thinks, hoping you didn’t hear what the two were discussing.

You watch Hinata’s figure get smaller as he moves farther away down the hall. “Hinata’s been acting very strange recently…” You say before turning to look at Yachi. “U-uh, yeah!” She replies, obviously flustered.

Not wanting to invade on what their conversation was about, you two begin walking together towards the bike racks, Yachi still seeming a bit off.

“Yachi?” You ask her, before she turns to you. “Yeah-” You quickly lean closer to her, she gulps as you continue to stare into her eyes, not blinking. “Yachi…” “Y-yeah Y/n?” She stutters.

“What script did you get?” You ask, she blinks as you pull away. “Eh? Ah! The one from Hinata’s game!” Recalling, she immediately pulls her backpack to the front of her, unzipping the smaller compartment as she takes out a slip of paper, handing it to you.

You take it excitedly, bringing it up to your eyes.

‘I’m insecure about my freckles’ it reads.

You look at her as she looks back to you, both understanding what the other is thinking. There’s only one freckled boy in your friend group, ‘It’s Yamaguchi’s.’

Arriving home, you sigh as you drop to your bed. You were only able to get to one of your five friends. “Tomorrow for sure!” You assure yourself, before preparing your workplace to study.

The following day, you have woken up extra early unintentionally. Making your way downstairs to bid you parents farewell, you are met with silence and a kitchen note on the dining table. Your parents have gone out for groceries, leaving you cash to buy breakfast on the way to school.

Deciding to stop by Coach Ukai’s, in the shop you hear a familiar voice. “Thanks Coach!” Hinata thanks. Just as he was going to walk out, you called out to him.

“Hinata!” He turns to greet you good morning, waiting for you to pay for your purchase before the two of you head to school together.

“You should have seen what happened at practice two days ago! Kageyama and Tsukishima were so mean!” He rambles complaining of the two taller boys as you listen. “Kageyama even made a bet because he thought I couldn’t-” He stops himself immediately, you turn in confusion to see Hinata shoving the freshly baked bun he had bought into his mouth. “H-Hinata?!” You question him in surprise, immediately taking your water bottle out handing it to him.

He quickly chews and swallows before accepting your water bottle, taking a sip. You watch him in worry. “Why did you do that?” You question as he hands your water bottle back. “N-no reason!” The two of you continue your pace, reaching the school gates.

As you walk through the gates, you remember your question.

“Oh! Shoyo!” You whisper harshly, grabbing his attention. He turns to you before replying in the same manner. “Yeah?!” “What script did you get?” You ask him. “Oh! I think I got Yachi’s” He says a little too loudly.

“Really? What did it say?” He grabs the slip from his bag, handing it to you before replying. “It said that boy’s over 6 feet scare me.” You stare at the script, then at him before letting out a chuckle of how adorable your blonde baby is, it’s definitely hers.

Walking into class, you notice Kageyama asleep at his desk again.

‘He’s been sleeping a lot recently, I wonder if practice really got to him.’ You think before sitting in your seat in front of him.

At your desk, you sit thinking quietly to yourself. ‘Hinata, Yachi…’ “Good morning!” You hear a cheerful voice greet, bringing your eyes up immediately meeting with Yamaguchi’s across the room.

“Guchi!” You call out, motioning your palm for him to come over. He drops his bag at his desk before making his way to you with a smile. “Hey Y/n! What’s up?” You ask for him to come even closer, he leans his ear towards you.

“What script did you get?” It takes him a moment to process your words, he scratches his cheek shyly before standing upright and crossing his arms. “Y/n… Wasn’t the point of the game to keep the confession a secret?” The boy says, beginning to sound a little too much like Tsukishima.

“Guchi!” You cry bringing your head down to your desk, before looking back up to stare at him. An almost hostile stare, you hear the boy gulp. “Listen! For educational purposes, I would like to know, so please?” You plead, as your gaze softens, giving him a familiar puppy eyed look.

He sighs before giving a soft smile. Making his way back to his bag, he fetches his wallet, taking the slip out and walking back to you, handing the slip over. You take it excitedly, bringing it up to your eyes to read it.

The handwriting is illegible.

You turn the slip back around, having it face Yamaguchi. “Can you read that?�� “Nope” You both blink before bursting into laughter. “I think it’s either Hinata’s or Kageyama’s” He theorizes as you hand the slip back. “Hmm, good thinking”

“I’m home!” You call out, dropping your school bag to the side. “Ah! Y/n!” Your dad calls from the kitchen. “Yeah?” You respond as your dad runs to you. “We-” “You” Your mom corrects your dad, obviously in a bad mood. “I forgot to grab milk when we went grocery shopping, can you please head to the nearest store and buy some?” He whispers, begging for your help.

Your mom walks out the kitchen with a butcher knife in hand. Glaring at your dad before turning to you, her demeanor immediately changing. “Can you also pick up a bottle of soy sauce, love? We’re out” “Sure!” “Oh! So it’s okay for you to forget something, but I get in trouble for not getting the milk?” Your dad points out as your mom turns her attention back to him, immediately shutting him up.

Your dad turns to you, handing his wallet. “Please hurry! This woman’s crazy!” He begs, whispering the last part. You laugh at your dad’s behavior before walking out. “I’m heading out!”

Making your way up the hill to Coach Ukai’s shop, you immediately head towards the glass fridges, grabbing a carton of milk. Turning the corner, you quickly grab the bottle of soy sauce before heading to the cashier.

“This is all please” You say not looking up as you take money from your dad’s wallet. Placing the money onto the tray, you glance up only to meet Kageyama’s eyes.

“T-Tobio?! What are you doing- You work here?” You look at him in shock. He looks away in embarrassment. “Yeah…” You hear him reply as he scans your items, refusing eye contact. “Since when?! Aren’t you busy with preparing for nationals- you should be at practice! Does Coach Ukai know you’re here?!” You ramble as he bags your items. “S-since two weeks… And yes he knows… I’m only working until the end of today, for extra allowance” He admits, handing you your items and the tray containing change.

“Oh! Well in that case... keep working hard Tobio!” You give him a warm smile before taking your items and change.

Right as you were about to walk out, you turn and run up to him once again.

“Tobio!” He immediately shuts the cashier with a loud slam in surprise. “Tobio, what did your script say?” You ask him. Kageyama stands there, his brain short circuits before stuttering out a response. “U-uh” He turns his head away, his gaze immediately falling on the revolving heater filled with curry buns, just besides the cashier. “I-I’m in love with curry buns!” He blurts out.

You blink as his answer processes in your head. ‘So it is Tsukki’s!’ Your face slowly turns red, thanking Kageyama quickly as you run out the entrance.

Giving a final wave to him, you walk out of the doors, completely missing the warm smile he gave you as you walked away.

“I’m home~” You call out, slipping your shoes off and skipping into the kitchen. “I’ve brought your requests~!” You say happily, removing the plastic bag containing the two items and gently handing them to your parents before skipping up the stairs.

Your parents watch in confusion before looking at each other.

Lightly shutting the door close to your room, you make your way to your desk, looking out your window to find Tsukishima studying. Just as he was about to look up, you immediately take your curtains and shut the blinds before crouching.

Tsukishima on his end, rolls his eyes and scoffs with a smile as he focuses back onto his studies.

Happy Fridays, Happy Birthdays.

“Y/n~” You wake up to the sound of someone familiar calling out to you. “Yeah?” “Happy birthday!” You sit up seeing your parents are seated to the side of your bed. Your dad is holding a muffin in hand with a candle lit above as your mom hands you a wrapped present. You smile, blowing the candle as you set the present to the side.

“Our baby’s almost an adult! Can you believe that?” Your dad wipes a fake tear from his eye, your mom slaps his arm for being silly.

“Come, come! Get dressed and hurry downstairs.” Your mom says before dragging your dad out of your room.

You smile happily, grateful for your parents before getting dressed.

Making your way downstairs, your mom calls for you from the living room.

“Ah! Love, I hate to make you do favors on your birthday, but can you please take this to Kei-kun?” She hands you a cute envelope. You take it from her, flipping the envelope around, admiring how cute and frilly it is.

Growing impatient your mom huffs, “Don’t waste time staring at it! Go!” She pushes you out the door and you watch confused as the door shuts. Shrugging your mom’s behavior off, you make your way next door to Tsukishima's.

Ringing the bell, there is no reply. Knocking on the door, there is no reply. “Tsukki!” You call out. Tapping the envelope to your palm, you wait patiently before twisting the doorknob, noticing it is once again open. ‘He’s gotta start locking his door, what if I was a robber.’ You think to yourself. “I’m coming in!” You call out, twisting the door and making your way in.

Slipping your shoes off, you notice the lights are off. “Tsukki?” You call out again, stepping up from the entryway. “Tsukki?” Just as you make your way past the hall, you hear shuffling coming from the dining room. “Tsukki! My mom gave me this letter to-” As you walk in the dining room, the lights turn on immediately, confetti is popped into the air.

“Surprise!” Your friends cheer in sync. You still in surprise, beginning to tear up as you make your way over to them, noticing the party hats adorn to the top of their heads, and the dining room decorated in cute banners and balloons.

“Wha-” “Y/n!” Hinata tackles you into a hug.“Are you surprised?” Kageyama yanks Hinata off you, muttering out a “stupid” to the boy. “Happy birthday Y/n!” Yachi pulls you into a warm hug, taking your hand and leading you closer to the dining table, before heading off into the kitchen, with Hinata and Kageyama.

“Happy birthday my dear long time best, best, best, best friend!” Yamaguchi greets, squeezing you into a hug as Tsukishima scoffs. “Yamaguchi, help! KAGEYAMA-” Hinata calls from Tsukishima’s kitchen. “Coming!” Yamaguchi pulls away, heading towards his friends’ cry for help, leaving you alone with Tsukishima.

You both watch as your freckled friend leaves the room.

“So this is why they were acting weird?” You chuckle, looking up to the taller man. Tsukishima brings his hand to squeeze your cheek. “Told you you were overthinking” Blush spreads across your cheeks as you continue your gaze on him, and his on yours.

“Hap-” “Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!” Tsukishima is interrupted as your four friends run back into the dining hall, Yamaguchi with a match that’s lit. “Hurry before it goes out!” “Shut up Hinata, it's not going to go out!” “Stop it you two!” Yachi scolds Hinata and Kageyama as Yamaguchi lights the candles, before blowing the match out.

You laugh before turning your attention to the cake, your eyes illuminating with the fire’s flames. Tsukishima watches you in awe, as another smile makes its way across your face.

“3… 2… 1!” Yamaguchi counts down as the four begin singing. You look up, smiling to your friends before turning your gaze to Tsukishima, who you found beginning to sing along as well. Your smile grows wider as the song ends, blowing the candles out.

“Let me get a slice!” “Be patient!” “Oh, remove the candle before the wax melts onto the frosting!” “Make way, I have plates coming through!” “Ah, let me get the spoons!” “Where’s the cake cutter?” You watch as your friends scramble around before you remember the letter in hand your mom had asked for you to deliver to Tsukishima.

“Ah, Tsukki!” He turns his head to you. “My mom wanted me to give you this envelope” He blinks before replying. “No thanks” “What? But my mom-” “Open it” He instructs. You follow his orders, tearing the top of the cute envelope, opening it to reveal a slip of paper with a poorly drawn frog on it. “What?!” “It was a decoy to get you to come over, pipsqueak.” He says as he turns his attention back to your friends entering the room.

“Let me cut it!” Hinata says, running after Yachi. “No, don’t let Hinata cut the cake!” Yamaguchi yells over. Yachi shakes Hinata off her tail before digging the knife into the cake, cutting the first slice and bringing it over to you. “For you~!” You take it happily.

Just as Yachi finishes serving everyone a slice of cake, the six of you sit at the dining table, chatting away.

“Y/n!” Hinata beams, as you turn your attention to him. “Takeda-sensei came into the gym a few days ago with big news! Though… just for Kageyama and Tsukishima.” He grumbles out the last part. “Oh yeah! Tsukki got invited to Miyagi’s Prefectural Mock Youth Camp tomorrow!” Yamaguchi joins in. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima lets out lowly before taking another bite from the slice of cake.

“And Kageyama-kun” All eyes turn to the setter. “He got asked to join the All-Japan Youth Training Camp!” “Also tomorrow.” Hinata mumbles as you drop your spoon to your plate. “Japan?!” You scream in surprise. “Yeah! Youth as in the national representatives for Japan under the age of 19!” Yachi lets out before you jump from your seat, making your way towards your two friends to congratulate them.

“That’s so cool!” You squeeze Kageyama as he begins to blush. “Remember me when you’re famous, alright?” You joke before turning to Tsukishima, diving in for a hug. “My friends are so cool with their volleyball club!” You cheer, very happy for your friends. “Let me know if you need another manager!” You joke as your friends fall into a fit of laughter. Though, it wouldn’t be a bad idea.

You feel very fortunate to spend the morning of your 17th birthday with the friends you love unconditionally.

As afternoon comes close, Yachi along with Yamaguchi are the first to leave.

Tsukishima excuses himself to the “bathroom” as you walk towards Tsukishima’s entrance with your friends, seeing Yachi and Yamaguchi out first.

“Ah! Y/n, before I leave I have a present for you!” She reaches into her purse, pulling out a cutely wrapped bag, handing it to you. “It’s not much, but I hope you enjoy it! I love you so much!” She gives you a final hug as Yamaguchi sees her out.

“Y/n I’ll drop your gift off later!” Yamaguchi waves as the two walk out.

Kageyama in the distance stills, patting himself, checking every pocket he had from his jacket, to his sweats.

“Oh! The present! Y/n! This is from me” Hinata makes his way over handing you a paper bag. “Don’t open it now though! Wait until later! Happy birthday again, I’ll see you later!” He runs out the door, before stopping to turn around. “Kageyama! Let’s go get my curry buns! Get me that employee discount too!”

Kageyama looks up to you, you notice his off state. “Tobio, you okay?” You ask as he looks away. “I… I forgot your present at home. I’m so sorry.” He bows his head slightly as you stop him. “Tobio! Don’t be sorry” You reassure, your hands cup his jaw, bringing his gaze back up. He looks so sad.

“You didn’t even need to get me a present, you being here with me on my birthday is enough!” You say, trying to make him feel better as he pulls you into a hug. “Oomf!” “I’ll come by and drop it off later too” He pulls away as you wave to him.

Shutting the door you turn making your way back towards the dining room. A smile spreading across your face once more of the scene.

Not noticing the feeling of someone behind, a weight leaning closer to your left ear. “Boo.” A voice says lowly, and very bluntly, their breath tickling you.

“AH!” You jump startled, turning around, your back meeting the dining table as you hold onto the edge. Looking up to meet your gaze to Tsukishima. “Tsukki!!! Stop! Don’t scare me like that!” You rest your hand to your chest as he leans down closer to you. “I literally just said ‘boo’-” “STILL!” You cross your arms, turning yourself away from him, missing his tiny smile.

“Y/n” He calls out, pulling an envelope from his back and hitting you lightly on the head with it.

You turn back to him, looking up and grabbing whatever he had lightly tapped on you.

A cute envelope, similar to the one your mom had given you to deliver to Tsukishima, the “decoy”.

Bringing it down from your eyes just a bit, you hide your gaze from Tsukishima. Tsukishima sees your eyes peeking through the envelope before sighing. “What the hell are you doing?” “It’s another one of your tricks!” You snap back. “It’s not” “Oh yeah?” “Just open it” “You said that the last time!” “Y/n” He calls demandingly, leaning towards you, his gaze not leaving yours.

You freeze as his face comes closer to yours, feeling heat spread across your cheeks, his lips just a few inches away from yours. “Open it.” Leaves his lips, you feel his breath on yours. You jump, pushing him away lightly. “Okay! Okay!” You muster out, taking a deep breath before slowly unsealing the envelope.

You reach your fingers in, feeling a thin paper like texture. Turning your eyes back up to him, you notice him looking at you. Quirking your eyebrow, he rolls his eyes. You turn your attention back to the envelope, slowly removing whatever was cased inside.

Pulling out the paper, you bring it above the envelope, reading whatever was on it.

Your eyes widen as you read and realize what it is.

“Tsukki!” You cry, jumping right into him. He catches you, looking down as you look up. “Are these… are these- really?!” His heart skips a beat, listening to your shocked excitement. “Tickets to Miyagi’s Museum of Art? No.” “TSUKKI!” You muffle your head into his chest, muttering a ‘thank you’.

“Come again?” He teases as you pull away. “Thank you!!!” You scream, about to dive in for another hug before he extends his palm to rest at your forehead, stopping you, causing you to flail around as you try to reach him. “Tsukki!!!” You whine as he lets out a low laugh.

You stop, and he drops his hand down. The two of you stare at each other before he turns around, making his way out of the dining room. “Wh- Where are you going?” You ask, following after him. “To get ready” “To get ready?” He turns, grabbing the tickets from your hands, revealing two. He brings them up to your eye level, “The exhibit starts in 2 hours.” He says pointing to the reservation time on the ticket. You beam in excitement, immediately running to the entrance door. “Okay! I’ll get ready too!” You yell before running out, leaving him with your tickets, which was probably the best move.

Tsukishima watches as you run out his gate, making your way to yours next door. A small laugh leaving his lips before he takes his leave to his room.

Check out this 2-min video tour of the museum if you wanna get a feel before you continue to read! [ Haruka Travel’s 宮城県美術館 💝]

“You have reached Kawauchi Station” The speaker announces.

You step off the subway with Tsukishima besides you, making your way to north exit 1.

Walking down the street, you look around your surroundings, the beautiful city of Sendai. Tsukishima watches you in awe as your eyes look from left to right, up and down, sparkling in excitement.

Just then you gasp suddenly, quickly taking hold of his hand, surprising him, as you drag him with you to the front of the Museum.

“We’re here!” You beam, your hands still intertwined with Tsukishima’s. Tsukishima looks at you from the corner of his eyes, enjoying the warmth of your hand, squeezing it slightly before you let go. “Come on Kei, let’s go!” You turn to him before running towards the entrance.

Tsukishima hands the tickets to the receptionist as she extends a guidebook to you two. “I hope you and your girlfriend enjoy the museum.” She wishes. “Ah! He’s not my-” “Thank you very much” He takes the guidebook before walking away. You turn, a smile leaving your face as you follow after him.

Making your way into the entrance hall, your excitement bubbles as you see the big staircase leading to the galleries. You run past Tsukishima, taking a few steps up the stairs before turning down to him.

It’s as if time has slowed down, Tsukishima’s eyes grow wider at the sight of you twirling to face him. The way your hair swayed slowly along with your dress, the shine sparkling in your eyes, your lashes fluttering in excitement, the warm and beautiful glowing smile that always leaves him breathless.

“Kei!” He snaps out of his trance, walking closer. “Last one to the exhibit hall is a stinkyshima!” You laugh, before turning, beginning your pace up the stairs. Tsukishima is left shocked, before letting out a chuckle, immediately using the power of his long legs to reach the top of the stairs.

You both huff when you reach the top of the staircase. “Not fair!” “You had a head start” “But you have long legs! And you’re athletic!” You whine, he ruffles your head before taking your hand. “Come on, let’s go” He says, leading you into the exhibit hall together. Leaving you both, neither a stinkyshima.

“Tsukki look!” You make your way over to a familiar portrait you have studied. “This is the Portrait of Sanada Hisakichi! It’s an oil on canvas painting, isn’t it similar to a certain style of art you may remember… The Starry Night? Kishida Ryusei was in a group that was formed by the inspirations of Vincent Van Gogh and Paul Cézanne! He and his friend were members of the group.” You say in excitement, pointing to the portrait. “Sanada was his friend by the way!” You finish, turning your head to another display, quickly dragging him with you.

“This is A Bird by the iconic AI-MITSU! Notice how in the painting there's a single deceased bird and various plants all around, like that red flower in the center?” He nods, listening as you continue. “That red flower looks very similar to an animal’s blood vessel, doesn’t it? This painting is meant to signify how both life and death are united. The deceased bird, but the lively plants surrounding it…” You trail off before looking up to him. “Kind of sad now… realizing it symbolizes death...” You frown, he frowns along with you before dragging you off.

“Ah-! Tsukki!” “What about this?” Opening your eyes, you come face to face with a beautifully painted woman. “I don’t think I’m familiar with this one… but the way the bright choice of the palette makes it as the light being filtered by the leaves shines and bathes the woman, it feels very soothing and calming to look at.” Your gaze stuck to the painting, as Tsukishima’s stuck to yours. The way the sunlight filtered by the illuminating ceiling shines and bathes against you, makes him feel at ease, calm, and comfortable, just like Watanabe Ryusoke’s oil painting, ‘A Women in the Shade of a Tree’.

You two make your way out of the exhibit hall, the guidebook in hand.

“Oh!” You stop in your tracks, Tsukishima turning to you before you immediately drop the guidebook to your thighs. “There’s one more painting I want to see!” Taking his hand, you run back into the exhibit hall.

The two of you stand besides each other in silence, staring at the painting in front of you. “What?” Tsukishima asks, taken aback in confusion. “It’s A Cat!” “I can see that-” “No Tsukki!” You laugh before pointing at the information details. “This painting is literally called A Cat, it’s by Hasegawa Rinjiro” “A… Cat?” Tsukishima blinks, staring at the cute tabby cat laying on top of the red flooring. “Isn’t it so cute!” You squeal. His gaze turns down to your features, “Yeah.”

You sat besides Tsukishima at the Atelier in Studio 2. A personal blank canvas in front of you both as various brushes are to the side. “Here is the painter's palette, let me know if you need anything else” An employee leaves a tray of multiple colors of paint in front of you two before leaving.

You grab a paintbrush that sits besides the tray of paint before looking at Tsukishima. He’s staring at the paintbrushes, noticeably confused. You giggle before picking out a paintbrush, handing it to him. “Start with this!” He takes it, as you turn your attention back to the tray of paint. He watches as you dip the brush, patting it slightly on a clothe before hovering over your canvas. Following your same steps, he does the same.

Except, he forgets to tap off the excess paint, causing it to lightly drip over what was once a perfectly clean canvas. “Tsukki!” You startle him, he immediately takes his gaze off from you, turning to his hand as he sees the canvas has been soiled with a drop of paint. “SHIT-” “It’s okay!” You laugh as you take his hand with the paintbrush, lightly tapping it against the towel in front of you.

He watches as you do so, you turn your head meeting his. The two of you stare for what feels like a long time, before you ask, “What should we paint?” He blinks before shrugging. You frown before an idea pops into mind. “Let’s paint something for each other” “Y/n I can barely draw-” “Doesn’t matter!” You say before switching your canvas with his. “Here, you can have my canvas.” “No” He tries to switch your canvases, feeling bad that you’re offering the clear one to him, before you stop him. “You’re going to give me that one anyways, right?” You point to the clear canvas on his side.

He blinks processing what you’ve said, you were right. He scoffs before turning his attention back to the canvas. “Okay, on your mark, get set-” “I thought art takes time” “SHH! Go!”

The two of you spend the next forty-five minutes of your reserved time in the station before the employee comes back to help clear your items, as well as setting your work to the side, handing you both a ticket.

“Thank you so much for using our workshop, we hope you enjoyed your experience. Please come by at the end of the day to pick up your paintings, we will hold them here to dry as you continue your tour around the museum.” The employee greets as the two of you thank, leaving to your next destination.

The two of you make your way outside the museum, heading towards the gardens, stopping right in front of the destination post.

“Which way do you want to go?” He asks, you place a finger to your chin, reading the sign, before looking up to him with a smile. “Let’s go North!” You take his hand as you begin your pace.

“Y/n” “Hm?” You stop, turning to him, your hand still in his. “Yeah?” You watch as Tsukishima awkwardly looks away before speaking, “We’re going South.” You turn your head towards the sign again, squinting your eyes to see the arrow pointing the opposite way.

“Ah-” You let go in embarrassment, looking away as he clears his throat. He takes your hand before he turns his tail, bringing you the correct way. A smile spreading, unknown from either embarrassment or joy the blonde has given you.

“WAAA- Tsukki look!” You drag him, running towards a koi pond. Letting go of his hand, you squat, pointing your finger into the pond. “Look how pretty the koi fishes are! There's so many of them in different colors!”

You bring your hands to your knees, watching the fish swim in awe. You tug on his pants, before beaming “Tsukki look! It's a frog!” Tsukishima squats besides you, before noticing children with their parents on the other side of the pond, doing just as you were.

Tsukishima gives a small smile, remembering when you two were just kids.

“Tsukki look!” You call the blonde boy over, squatting in your rain boots as you point towards the puddle. “It’s a frog!” Tsukishima squats besides you, his eyes falling where your finger points to.

“Gross-” “Don’t say that, frogs have feelings too!” You scold as Tsukishima laughs before standing. Holding the umbrella above you, blocking the rain from soiling your raincoat.

The harsh drops from the rain on the umbrella echoes throughout your moment of comfortable silence before- “Do you think it fell from the sky?”

Tsukishima blinks at your very strange question. “What-” “Do you think it’s hurt?!” You immediately turn your gaze to him, your eyes beginning to water. He just stares down at you confused, not knowing how to answer your question, or deal with this situation, but he doesn’t want to see you cry.

Letting out a sigh, he hands you the umbrella before cupping the frog into his palms. You immediately stand, your hand tightening on the grip of the umbrella as you look at the frog in his hands. “It’s so cute!” You let out, his stare falls on you from the corner of his eye. He lets out a smile before walking off. “Let’s go, Yamaguchi might know what to do.”

You beam in joy watching as your friend walks off. “Tsukki!”

“Tsukki...” Tsukishima turns his head to you calling his attention. You stare at the frog before looking back to him, a smirk appearing on your face. “Wanna touch it?” He scoffs as he gets up, lightly cow-tipping you over as he begins to walk away.

“Ah- Tsukki!” You laugh, getting up before following him, little did he know you had the same memory running through your head.

Exiting the gardens, you find yourselves by the courtyard before Tsukishima speaks up “Are you hungry?”. You turn to look to him before thinking, ‘am I?’ The automatic grumble of your stomach answers that, and you blush from the embarrassment.

In the distance, the two of you find Café Mozart Figaro just by the courtyard and Terrace.

You both turn to look at each other, before making your way over.

“Welcome! Table for 2?” The waiter greets, leading you both to a seat.

“This restaurant looks so cool!” You whisper to him as the waiter comes back with a menu. You happily take it, going through the selections.

“Tsukki!” You whisper harshly, not taking your eyes off the fine selection choices. Tsukishima looks up from his to you. You slowly peek out from the side of the menu, before bringing your hand, flipping his over and pointing towards the desserts.

“They have strawberry shortcake” You watch his pupils widen up, eyeing the menu as the waiter comes back. “Are you ready to order?” “Two slices of strawberry shortcakes” Tsukishima replies immediately before looking to you. You stare at him in shock, ‘Two?!’ You clear your throat before handing the menu to the waiter. “If I can order a slice of tiramisu, please” The waiter nods, taking your menus before leaving.

“Two?!” “Yeah?” He replies sarcastically to your comment. “TWO??” “YEAH??” The two of you stare at each other before you burst into a quiet fit of laughter, Tsukishima clutching his hand into a fist, bringing it up to his mouth to hide his laugh.

“Here you go, thank you again for your purchase.” The waiter sets your cakes onto the table before walking off.

Tsukishima then slides a plate of strawberry shortcake to you. You look up in confusion before he replies. “Remember when you thought I got upset at you? And you bought me a slice of strawberry shortcake.” You nod as he continues. “Well, this is for all the times I got you upset.” He finishes, taking his spoon, digging into his shortcake leaving you speechless.

Immediately bringing your hands up to your face to cover the blush spreading, you let out an internal scream. Tsukishima smiles discreetly into the strawberry shortcake bite as he watches your flustered state.

“That was absolutely delicious!” “I can’t believe you ate both cakes in one sitting” “Hey! Listen, you gave me the opportunity and I took it, and might I say it would have been very delicious if you didn’t steal a bite from my tiramisu-” You stop in your tracks, looking off into the distance.

Tsukishima, concerned, follows your gaze only to roll his eyes at what you were staring at. He feels the burning stare of your eyes looking up to him, finally giving in, he looks down at you. Those puppy eyes are going to be the death of him someday.

Taking his hand, you drag him towards the Children’s Playroom.

“What are we? 5?” “Tsukki please, look how cute this play center is!” You make your way towards the set of wooden toys and picture books, taking a seat on the soft cushion. Tsukishima rolls his eyes before sitting besides you, leaning over to see the pages of the picture book.

“Wow… it has all the pictures and information of the artwork displayed in the gallery! What a great way to start educating at such a young age” You say flipping through the pages. Tsukishima grabs one of the wooden toys, playing with its limbs as you continue to read.

Tsukishima looks up, eyeing something from a distance before standing, something has caught his attention. You don’t even notice until he’s by the entrance of the playroom. “Huh? Tsukki?” You watch as he exits. Closing and setting the book back on the table, you follow him out, only to notice he made his way across towards the museum shop.

You watch from afar as he immediately goes towards an item, but yet you can’t see it. Making his way to the front, you watch as he pays and you notice the cashier wrapping it nicely, stuffing it into a cute bag adorning the logo of Miyagi’s Museum of Art. Before making his way back, you make eye contact with him. You jump in surprise, immediately running back to the playroom, sitting on the cushion with the book opened upside down, pretending as if you didn’t just watch the whole transaction.

Tsukishima walks in, making his way back to you. You bring the book up to your face, avoiding his gaze as he sets the bag in front of you. You slowly bring the book down, peeking your eyes above only to meet Tsukishima’s just inches from yours. “For you” He says, sitting beside you, bringing the wooden toy he was just playing with closer.

You drop the book, sliding it off to the side before sneaking your hands towards the bag. Before you can peek in, Tsukishima lets out “Not until you get home.” His gaze not leaving the toy in his hands.

You give a dramatic pout, grabbing the bag and hugging it close to your chest, hiding half your smiling face behind it.

“Thank you so much for your patience, here are your paintings.” The employee says, handing you both your canvases, nicely wrapped. “Thank you so much!” You thank before walking out with Tsukishima.

You exit the studio, walking through Alice’s Garden towards the entrance of the museum.

“Ah! I can’t believe this day is already over!” You let out a tired, but yet happy sigh, looking around at the mirrors reflecting from Alice’s Garden. “This is such a pretty walkway…” You say as the two of you stroll slowly. Your eyes focused on the road, missing Tsukishima’s gaze of awe, how the mirror’s surrounding Alice’s Garden reflects the sunset’s glow on your features.

Exiting the museum, you both find your way back to the station, finally heading home.

Kageyama makes his way up to your resident’s gates, a small box in his hand.

He thought to just leave it in your mailbox, and text you, not wanting to disturb if you were having quality time with your family inside. He slips the box into the slot of your mailbox, quickly texting you he had left your present inside, before hearing footsteps approaching.

Immediately, he looks back and forth, before turning the corner, hiding behind the utility post. He stills, questioning himself why he had just done that. And as he begins to walk away, he hears a familiar voice. "We’re finally back!”

Kageyama peeks his head from the corner, noticing you and Tsukishima.

“Thanks again for walking me home.” You say with a bright smile. “Sorry, but I live right next to you.” Tsukishima looks down, giving you his iconic cocky grin. “Kei!” You cry as he lets out a soft chuckle. “Ah! We must now exchange the paintings we made for each other!” You declare.

He brings his bag to the front, pulling out the carefully wrapped canvas. As you thought he was going to hand it over, you reach for it, only for him to raise it above your shorter figure. “Tsukki!” “Where’s mine, hm?” You blink, remembering, you pull the wrapped canvas from the gift bag Tsukishima had given you earlier with your secret ‘don’t open until you get home’ present.

“On the count of three, we do an equal exchange! One.. two.. Three!” You switch, both opening the wrapping to reveal the painting. Tsukishima carefully removes the wrapper, pulling the painting out and eyeing it in awe. You on the other hand, impatiently yet carefully remove the wrapper, only to come face to face with a…

You turn your painting around, showing it to him. “Is this supposed to be us?!” You question, bringing the painting closer to him. “Listen, before you say anything, I told you I couldn’t-” “I love it!” You scream, clutching the canvas close to your chest before looking up to him, your eyes sparkling.

Tsukishima stays silent, surprised by your reaction, he was not expecting you to like it, at all.“It’s from when it was raining that day…” You begin, your eyes to the ground before looking up at him. “And we rescued that frog!” Tsukishima continues his silence, he’s absolutely astonished you were able to notice what the painting was of.

His painting was a poorly drawn figure of you two, an umbrella in your hand and a deformed frog in his, the cloudy and rainy skies blocking the sun as you two stand side by side on the pavement. Simply drawn flowers and grass surrounding in puddles.

He nods before showing you your painting. “This… is also us?” He asks as you begin to nod. “Remember that night after the culture festival?” He nods. “I had a weird dream that night, that you gave me a piggyback ride on the way home!” Tsukishima stills, he remembers that night well. “And, the sky was sparkling with so many stars! And the moon was shining down on us! And you told me...” You trail, trying to remember what you were going to say. Tsukishima freezes, he knew what you were about to say. So you did hear him that night. “Ah, I forgot” You sigh in frustration, as he sighs in relief.

Your painting consists of your version of The Starry Night. Two figures shown in the center of the painting, one walking and the other held closely, clung to figure one’s back.

Tsukishima blinks again, ‘that was not a dream.’

There’s another moment of comfortable silence, before you begin. “Thank you so much again for tonight Tsukki” Tsukishima looks down as you give him a warm smile. The moonlight shining on the two of you, somehow making your smile brighter.

Tsukishima tries to hide his smile, bringing his hand to squeeze your cheek. “Yeah, yeah.” You whine before letting out a cheerful laugh, Tsukishima follows with a chuckle.

Kageyama watches the interaction from afar, feeling his heart and gut clench before pulling out the script he has kept with him since that night in Tokyo.

‘I really like someone in this group, but please keep it a secret.’

Rereading the slip, he knew it was yours to begin with. He was very familiar with your handwriting, and the night he received the slip, he had hope that it was meant for him.

He looks up from the script to you two. Watching how happy you looked, laughing along with Tsukishima. Tsukishima’s usual smug and cocky-stoic like behavior softening to you, and only you.

Kageyama takes a moment to realize, you meant Tsukishima in the script.

For what felt like an eternity as he had stood there, he begins to walk away, the sound of your laughter drifting farther into the distance. Stopping by a trash bin, he tosses your script before shielding his hands into the pocket of his sweats. His mind fogged as he makes his way back home.

Your laughter dies, opening your eyes once again, your gaze immediately fall to Tsukishima’s. You both share a brief moment of silence gazing into one another before he speaks. “Happy birthday Y/n” He gives a soft smile before ruffling the top of your hair. Just as you were about to open the gate to your residence, you turn, facing him again.

“Tsukki! What script did you get?” You watch as he shoves his hands into his pocket before leaning down to you with a smirk on his face. “It’s a secret script” You whine before continuing your persuasion “I’ll tell you mines…” You inch closer to him, cupping your hand to your mouth before whispering “I wrote that I like you.”

Tsukishima stands upright again, before taking his finger to flick your forehead. “Can you be any more shameless?” He jokes with a grin. “I don’t want to play this game.” He says, you blink processing his words. “Haha, very funny Kei” You watch as Tsukishima reaches for the pocket in his bag, pulling out a slip before handing it to you.

You take it in, bringing it up close to read the confession.

“I don’t want to play this game” Written in Tsukishima’s neat handwriting.

Your face contorts to one of confusion, bringing the slip down before looking up to him.

He gives a final squeeze to your cheek before pushing you past your gates. “Goodnight pipsqueak” He says waiting for you to enter your house, finally making his way to his after you enter.

You stand by your doorway confused when you felt your phone vibrate. Reaching into your bag, you pull your phone to see a text message from Yamaguchi, but noticing you missed a notification from Kageyama not too long ago.

Disregarding Yamaguchi’s message, you head immediately to Kageyama’s as it reads that his present for you is in the mailbox.

You quickly drop your bags before making your way back out, opening the slot to the mailbox and feeling around until you felt the touch of a small box. Pulling it out, you make your way back inside, bringing all your items up to your room.

Shutting the door behind you, you bring Kageyama’s gift to your desk. Pulling out his script along with Tsukishima’s, you place them side by side before slowly opening the box.

Your heart sinks as your eyes catch the beautiful shine of a necklace cased within. Your eyes moving back towards the script, then back to the box repeatedly.

Your memory takes you back to your encounter with Kageyama at Coach Ukai’s shop.

Kageyama stands there, his brain short circuiting before he stutters a response. “U-uh” You watch in confusion as he turns his head away, his gaze immediately falling on the revolving heater filled with curry buns, just besides the cashier. “I-I’m in love with curry buns!” He blurts out.

You realize, everyone gave you a script to read when you asked, but Kageyama.

Taking his script into your hands, you graze your finger over the writing before bringing your touch to the beautiful necklace in the elegantly wrapped box in front of you.

“Tobio...”

A/N 2: AAAAHHH! Buckle your seat belts because Kageyama’s rollercoaster has just begun! Thank you so so much again for reading and sticking around for this chapter💓! I have been on the edge of my seat, so excited to post this! Anyways- I’ll see you guys in the next chapter!!! I have to go take another exam now oh my god... LOVE YOU MWAH!!!💖💞💘

Love, Ani 🌸

TAGLIST: @cvlliesstuff , @strawberries-en-cream , @beanst0ck , @kimiiiiiiiiii, @lucyheartfilias-wife , @lanatheawesome , @owlnymph , @poggerschampers , @nachotrash , @kac-chowsballs

PLEASE LEMME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS (OR IN ASKS) IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!!!

“A LOVE SO BEAUTIFUL” Masterlist 🌸

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spencersstrawberryjello · 3 years ago

Text

Zugzwang (Spencer Reid)

Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8 ANGST ANGST ANGST it's just Spencer's thoughts from the beginning of season 8 episode 13, him reflecting on everything that went down with the Zugzwang episode

Content: ANGST it’s all angst this episode stomped on my heart so I wanted this one shot to do the same

Warnings: Descriptions of violence and depressive thoughts and actions, as well as swearing

MC’s name and pronouns: No alternate main character, just Spencer Reid being sad

Word Count: 1451

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“Spence, listen, if you’re in there we just wanna know that you’re alright,” JJ called through his apartment door. When he didn’t respond, Garcia chimed in from next to her, an overflowing gift basket now resting at her feet.

“Knock twice if you’re conscious!” She called. After a moment, two definitive knocks echoed through the hallway and she sighed, turning to JJ with a pained expression.

“Is he ever gonna be ok?”

JJ nodded, trying to smile in comfort but coming out with something that looked more like a grimace. “Eventually. And he knows that we’re all here for him, no matter what.”

She raised her voice on the last sentence so Spencer could hear her through the apartment door, and Garcia echoed her sentiment. After another moment of silence, JJ glanced back to the woman beside her.

“Come on,” She ushered her down the stairs, Garcia following her reluctantly. He heard their footsteps retreat down the hall, listening to the echo of their heels until he couldn’t hear them any longer.

On the other side of the door, Spencer sat motionless on the floor, his back slumped against the hard wood, unwashed hair hanging limp in front of his eyes. He eventually mustered up the energy to cross his destroyed apartment back towards the couch where he’d practically lived since the night his life went to shit. He felt momentarily proud of himself for doing the simple act of communicating; for the first time in two weeks, he felt like he might take a shower, eat something healthy, retrieve one of the dozens of gift baskets Penelope had left outside his apartment door. That was, until his eyes landed on the coffee table.

That book.

His steps faltered, The Narrative of John Smith sitting silently in front of him, sending a rush of memories back through his mind as he picked it up, gripping it like a lifeline.

That book had been sent to him at the restaurant, a gift just before they were about to meet. A gift that showed just how connected they were, as it was identical to the one he planned to give to her.

Right after that evening, he wished he didn’t call off their date. Her safety was the first thing in his mind, of course, but the fact that they were so close… it hurt. Now, he wished he’d called her back, had her wait in the cab so he could make sure the area was safe before she got there. He was a fucking FBI agent, after all.

He wished he’d seen her before it all went to hell.

Instead, all that remained was the book.

The book that was now stained with his tears.

The book that was the only thing he had left of Maeve.

The book, and 2,412 hours in his memory.

Because that’s all she was now: a memory.

The thought punched him in the stomach, and he collapsed back onto the couch, hugging the book close to his chest in an attempt to fight the tears that were already running down his face. Exhaustion clawed its way to the front of his mind, driven by the seemingly unending stream of tears that had been on and off since the night of Maeve’s death.

Murder. Maeve’s murder. The thought sent an unfamiliar shock of blinding rage through his mind.

He knew about the five stages of grief, of course. He was an expert in human behavior, and he knew grief best of all. He’d seen it exhibited in so many ways, in so many different people he’d profiled.

But he’d never felt it like this before.

Even having his mom sent to the hospital hadn’t hurt as badly as this, and that had hurt pretty damn badly. But this was a different kind of grief: it was all-consuming, soul-crushing, the kind of pain you only felt when you knew something had come to an end. When you knew that you were never going to get something you wanted back.

He was never going to get Maeve back.

He’d replayed that night over and over again in his mind, so many times he was sure it was burned into his brain. He’d watched the scene in his mind like a movie, trying to think of any way he could’ve possibly saved her.

“I don’t love you.”

Those were the last words he ever said to her.

And god, he’d loved her. He’d never had to tell a harder lie than that one. To finally get the chance to look at the most beautiful girl in the world, face to face, and to have to tell a lie that was so heartbreaking he could barely get it off of his lips destroyed him. And yet, he did it. Because he thought that if he did, he’d have a chance to explain afterwards. To apologize. To tell her that he loved her so much it made him dizzy.

To hold her.

But the image of her body on the floor, blood pooling around her… it cut through every single happy thought he could conjure up. Be it memory or fantasy, nothing could beat back the brutal scene.

“Thomas Merton.”

He had fallen for her mind. And she had fallen for his.

“He knows.”

He wasn’t even able to muster up a response, his mind filled with nothing but her voice.

“He’s the one thing you’ll never take from us.”

Thomas Merton was her goodbye. Her final message for him, said in a code only they would understand. The message bounced around his mind now, a broken farewell that killed them both.

Maybe it was her reaching out to him from whatever comes after the hellscape he was living through. Trying to tell him it would be ok.

But how could it be ok when he remembered every word they exchanged. Every joke, every book recommendation, every payphone conversation that was worth every cent.

He remembered exactly how her voice had sounded when she said those three words that changed everything.

“Bye. Love you.”

A slip-up, probably. So used to conversations with parents, ending every call with the phrase just in case something unimaginable happened before you saw that person again. But he wished, more than anything else, that he’d called her back that day. That he’d faked forgetting something she told him, even though that would be impossible. That he’d pretended to need to mention something just so he could end the call with those three words.

“Bye. Love you.”

Somewhere in his heart, he knew she’d meant it. That it wasn’t a mistake.

He sure as hell would’ve meant it.

“I don’t love you.”

He’d sat there while Diane touched him, her hands a trail of pain across his chest. Even the thought of it made him want to scrub his skin clean, made him want to erase every spot she’d tainted, as if he hadn’t already tried that the moment he got home.

And his lips.

God, if he’d only closed his eyes. If he’d only played into the lie one step more, Maeve might be in his arms right now.

Instead, he held her book in his arms, tracing his finger over the note that he’d read a thousand times, even though he could recite it by memory after only once.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - We find it with another.

His eyes drifted over tear stains that got dangerously close to smudging the ink on the page, and he closed the cover, acutely aware of the hollow feeling in his chest. The tears that felt like an endless well suddenly felt dried up, leaving nothing but a pit right through his heart. He wasn’t sure which feeling was more miserable. Grief and guilt combined to form a hurricane of torment, battering at his mind until he was sure that nothing would remain.

His eyes drifted to the curtain-covered windows across from his couch, not really focusing on anything around him. His mind had wandered so much in the last two weeks that he wasn’t sure if it would ever return to the way it was. He felt like he should probably get up, do something, but the mere thought was too exhausting to handle. So, he let his mind wander, drifting to the thought that he felt guilty even having.

He thought they deserved to be happy.

He thought they deserved more than 100.5 days together.

He thought they deserved something worth fighting for, even when both of their lives were so twisted in so many dark ways.

Apparently he thought wrong.

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unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix · 3 years ago

Text

Opportunities Will Come And Go

Summary: JJ leaves to run the New Orleans field office, and she and Emily have their last conversation with each other.

Read on AO3

Emily had heard the rumors. JJ was planning to leave D.C. to go to New Orleans with her family. The older woman frowned at the thought. She was leaving for the second time. How badly did JJ want to leave her home? On the one hand, Emily knows their job isn’t exactly the easiest one in the world. On the other, she knew JJ loved her job, and showed so much dedication and resilience.

Emily walked through the small aisle, picking at her fingernail and rubbing a thumb over it. Her eyes scanned over the jet to find the top of a blonde head. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and slowly walked over to her, so as to not startle her.

JJ sensed movement in her peripherals, despite the music playing in her earphones, and looked up to see Emily sliding into the seat across from her. She brightly smiled at her and used one hand to shake the earphones out.

“Hey,” Emily softly greeted with a smile of her own, folding her hands together on the table. “Can I bug you for a second?”

JJ gave a small nod. “Please do.”

“There’s a rumor floating around.”

JJ scoffed, knowing who exactly told Emily. “Penelope.” Of course .

“Is New Orleans something you’re seriously considering?” Emily asked. It might have been a bit of wishful thinking, but JJ heard a pleading tone in her voice and her heart ached at the sound. Did Emily not want her to leave?

She shook her head and shrugged. “I don’t know. It… sort of came out of nowhere. B- but believe me, I’m not gonna do anything without consulting all of you first,” she tried her best to reassure Emily.

JJ found out she was offered to run the New Orleans field office when she and her family visited Will’s family in New Orleans. Initially, she was shocked that they wanted her to fill in that position, and was torn about leaving the BAU that she barely slept a wink on their flight back to D.C. JJ had kept the secret from the team, but tried to avoid Emily the most, as best as she possibly could. As far as JJ knew, she had only told Spencer and Penelope before work, but apparently it had spread amongst their coworkers.

“They would be lucky to have you.”

JJ couldn’t help but smile at Emily’s statement. All of a sudden, she felt her cheeks flush a light pink and she looked at the window, hiding her blush from the woman in front of her. Emily was always so proud of JJ, and the blonde readily accepted her compliments without hesitation or doubt. JJ was going to miss that.

“But,” Emily continued. “Something to factor in, you know, should things get serious. If I were to move on from my position, I had you in mind to take over as unit chief,” she finished, gauging in JJ’s reaction.

“Whoa, wait. Are you-” JJ blinked as she tried to comprehend Emily’s words. Was this a hypothetical question or a genuine one? She’s not leaving too, is she?

Emily shook her head. “No. At least, not until I’ve consulted with all of you,” she said. “But I wanted you to know that when you weigh your options.”

JJ shyly smiled again. She didn’t know what Emily meant by that offer, but she was flattered that she was her first choice as the successor of her role as unit chief.

“That’s all,” Emily finished with a small smile, standing up from her seat and walking away.

“Emily?”

It was soft and quiet, and Emily turned her head the same time JJ did. Brown and blue eyes were locked with one another. Emily raised her eyebrows, a spark of hope in her eyes.

JJ wanted to tell her at that moment. She wanted to say “I love you” and “I’m gonna stay” to Emily. Her mind was conflicting her courage to make her decision right then and there, and ask Emily to beg her to stay.

JJ’s eyes broke the nearly intimate exchange as she shifted them in thought. “Um…” Come on, Jareau, just say it . “Thank you,” she nodded instead. With a small laugh, she looked up at Emily again, “That means a lot that you said that.”

Emily silently nodded and walked away, leaving JJ with her thoughts again. The blonde looked down and mentally kicked herself for not telling Emily. What was she going to do? Should she go take that job offer to be special agent in charge of the New Orleans field office or stay and become unit chief? Should she go to Louisiana and live a new life there or stay in the BAU and watch Emily continue to accept gifts and affection from Andrew?

It was a lot to process and so, JJ plugged her earphones in before glancing out the window.

*****************************************************************************************

It was a day of celebration for Penelope. Everyone was congratulating her on her new job and saying their farewells. JJ’s eyes scanned the backyard quickly before she excused herself, tearing her body away from Will's and giving him a small smile. Before walking away, she lightly squeezed Emily's arm, signalling that she wanted her to follow. Emily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but followed anyway, letting Andrew know she was going to be gone for a few minutes.

JJ walked to the back door of Rossi’s mansion, and held it open for Emily. She closed it behind them and rubbed her hands together, taking a deep breath.

"What was that?" Emily asked, pointing a finger towards the backyard. "The arm squeeze?"

"Um, you’re good," JJ said with an exhale. "Tonight’s not about me, ok?”

Emily slowly nodded. “Ok…” she squinted her eyes at her questioningly. “But there’s something.”

JJ sighed and played with her hands. “Will and I decided… it’s time for a change.” Well, that was mostly a lie. JJ had told Will she wanted to leave and he asked if that’s what she really wanted, in which she, after a few moments, said yes.

“I’m going.” JJ said with confidence.

She had about a week to make up her mind about the two options she had, and finally decided to tell Will what she wanted.

“What are you talking about, JJ?” Will asked, muffled by a toothbrush in his mouth.

“I think I’m going to run the field office back in New Orleans.”

Will had to spit out the toothpaste and rinse before turning around to face his wife. He saw that she was playing with her fingers and staring at the bathroom mirror, not him. He grabbed a towel to wipe his mouth and grabbed JJ’s hands in his.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? I know how much you love your family here. And your job,” he pointed out. He didn’t want to force JJ into anything that huge, especially because he had already become more supportive of her and her work later in their relationship.

JJ looked down at the floor and their hands for a moment, rubbing soothing circles on his hands with her thumbs. She needed to ground herself a little to remind herself why she wanted to take this risk. She couldn’t be doing this because of Emily and Andrew’s relationship, that would seem a bit selfish and impulsive. It does seem like a great position for her. She had some experience in leading people most of her life.

JJ finally nodded and squeezed his hands. "I'm sure. I mean, we said we'd call it at some point, right? Maybe this is our chance." She wasn't sure if she was convincing more, Will or herself. Maybe she wanted to call it and work a much easier but still stressful job. Maybe she wanted to call it to let Emily and herself be happy.

Will smiled. "Ok, let's do it."

Emily felt her heart sinking to her stomach, knowing what JJ meant. “You’re gonna run the New Orleans office,” she said in more of a statement than a question.

JJ bit her bottom lip and nodded. “I am,” she murmured, choosing not to make any more eye contact with Emily. “But if Penelope finds out-”

“No, I won’t.” Emily shook her head, cutting her off. “Not tonight. I am so excited for you guys,” she lied. Well, sort of. She really couldn’t believe JJ was actually thinking about leaving again.

“I’m so sorry, Emily. I know how much you wanted that FBI director position and I just completely ruined it," JJ frowned and started to apologize.

“No.” Emily shook her head again and smiled. “No, it’s not your fault. Uh, I guess now’s a good time to tell you that I got taken off the list.”

“Oh my god,” JJ gasped with a hand over her mouth. “Emily, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok. Really.” Emily assured with a smile. “I’ll still be unit chief, but… I guess things will be different, huh? I mean, with you and Penelope gone.”

JJ nodded. “I guess so.” She glanced at the floor, still fumbling with her fingers. Emily tilted her head to the side and noticed this.

“JJ.” Her head shot up at her name. “There’s something else you’re not telling me.”

JJ looked at the backyard behind her and saw Andrew getting along with everyone. Her eyes drifted downwards again. He's a good guy. He's good for her . She turned back to Emily. It’s now or never, she thought with a sigh.

“I love you, Emily.”

Emily gave a confused but small smile. “I love you, too, JJ.”

JJ shook her head. “No. I mean, I love you. You know…” she gestured vaguely with a shrug of her shoulder.

Emily’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth in shock. Oh . “Oh. I don’t know what-”

JJ humorlessly chuckled with a wave of her hand. “It’s fine. I didn’t really expect you to say anything. I just wanted to,” she let out a puff, “get this off my chest.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know…" JJ shrugged again. "For a while now.” She took a shaky breath and chewed on her bottom lip again. “I couldn’t do anything about it because we were both living different lives. Our own lives. I was married- um, still am, and you were in London. Now… we’re here and with other people.”

Emily was trying to process everything in her brain. JJ loved her, and still does. All these years, Emily wasn’t the only one who felt some sort of attraction or romantic feelings between the two of them at some point. She was afraid that JJ wouldn’t like her back, so she never said anything.

“Emily?” JJ began to feel anxious. “Please say something, or don’t say anything.”

Emily blinked before smiling. “I love you, too, JJ.”

JJ shook her head in surprise. “You’re not just saying that to spare my feelings, are you?”

“No. I do love you. I always have, but… like you said, we both have our own lives now. I knew I couldn’t stand a chance with you, so after a while, I… stopped. I wanted you to be happy, and that’s ok with me,” she smiled. After leaving for London after JJ and Will’s wedding, Emily thought she would be able to get her mind off of JJ, and it worked a little as she began seeing other people. When she came back, all those intense feelings did, too, but she knew she couldn’t chase JJ anymore, so she tried her best to keep a safe distance from her.

JJ nodded, feeling guilty. “I’m so sorry, Emily. I wish I’d known sooner. I thought it was this little crush that would quickly go away but you kept pulling me in. And I don’t think I can stop, if I stay here any longer," JJ slightly laughed and felt tears falling down. "Don’t get me wrong, I want you to be happy, too. I just never realized how much it would hurt seeing you with someone else.” JJ's small cries made her choke on her words, lips forming a tight line to stop them.

“Come here.” Emily opened her arms, and JJ immediately crashed into them. She sniffled and buried her face into Emily’s shoulder. "It's ok." The older woman hushed and let JJ's tears wet her dress and neck.

“I love you, Emily. I’m so sorry,” JJ muffled, hands gripping onto the fabric on the back.

Emily nodded and stroked her hair. “It’s ok. I love you, too.” She closed her eyes and let the blonde stay in her arms for a few more seconds. She decided to kiss the side of JJ’s head, still stroking her hair. The action made JJ pull back and stare into Emily's eyes. Her own blue ones flickered down to her lips and back up into Emily's eyes. Emily awkwardly nodded with a small smile, "We- we should get going."

She started walking until she felt a hand tugging at hers. JJ pulled her flush against her body and cupped her face with both hands. She kissed Emily, sighing when their lips connected. The older woman was a little shocked but rested her hands on JJ’s waist, pulling her closer. JJ took this time to pour in all the love she’s had for Emily for so long, and Emily reveled in this moment to receive something she’s yearned for a long time.

Emily pulled back to rest her forehead against hers and they both closed their eyes. JJ lifted a hand to hover her fingers on Emily’s cheek, lightly tracing one over her jawline.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Emily whispered with a voice crack. “You’re gonna do great.”

JJ nodded and whispered, “I’ll miss you, too.” Two seconds later, she pulled back and exhaled out a breath. “Well, it’s time to go now,” she said, pointing outside.

“Yeah,” Emily sighed. JJ held the door open for her again, watching Emily go back to Andrew. She saw how happy Emily really seemed with him, as she interlocked their fingers together and smiled at each other. JJ chewed on her lower lip and looked down with a sigh before closing the door and going back to Will.

*****************************************************************************************

Everyone was out on the dance floor, talking amongst themselves and dancing. Andrew asked Emily if she wanted water and started walking up to the table, pouring it in two glasses. JJ stepped away from the dance floor and decided to approach him, exhaling out a breath. She nervously rubbed her hands and tapped on his shoulder.

"Hey, Andrew. Can we talk for a moment?"

He shrugged. "Sure. What's up?"

JJ took another deep breath and quickly glanced behind him to see a smiling Emily dancing with the others. She looked back at Andrew.

"Take great care of her," she simply said.

Andrew furrowed his eyebrows at her, so she explained a little further while still being vague. "Emily. She's… she's a really amazing person," JJ said, casting her glance towards the other woman, making Andrew follow. "I promise you, she's not someone you just meet every day, so don't let this one go."

Andrew looked at JJ, who was still staring at Emily from a distance. "You really care about her, don't you?"

His voice broke through JJ’s little reverie before she sighed and sadly smiled. "More than you know."

Andrew noticed the way JJ looked at his girlfriend. It was the same way he looked at her. “You love her.”

JJ’s eyes widened and she stammered. “I- um,” she slumped her shoulders slightly in defeat. “I do, but… I want her to be happy, and I think you can do that for her.”

Andrew nodded in understanding and smiled. "I'll do my best." He wasn’t looking for any blessing from JJ or anyone on the team, but he wasn’t jealous either. JJ knew Emily for a very long time, so he understands. Andrew wanted to make Emily happy and so did JJ.

“Thank you.” JJ smiled at him, a genuine one. They both went back to the dance floor, Andrew handing a glass to Emily and her thanking him. Her eyes looked over to JJ behind him before smiling softly at her. JJ reciprocated with one of her own and a small nod.

This is what Emily wanted, the blonde knew that. Someone who would love and care for her, even if that someone wasn’t JJ. She was letting go and moving on, and so was JJ.

#jemily #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #jemily fic #criminal minds

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imaginesbymk · 4 years ago

Text

“My Girl Who’s Not Really My Girl, But Is My Girl Anyway.”

The Pacific One Shot

Summary: Snafu opens up to the guys and tells them about you, how you two are hook up buddies, and he ended up falling in love with you before enlisting in the war. After he returns home, you two make it official.

Pairing: Merriell “Snafu” Shelton x Fem!Reader

Non Requested

Tags: swearing, ethnic slurs, smoking, my shitty attempt at writing implied smut (not too detailed), mentions of war violence

Word Count: 1,753

Author’s Note: snafuuuuu!! i don’t write smut as its stated in my rules, but i thought i’d give this one a try lmfao and verdict: i’m not continuing on doing so because to me writing smut doesn’t suit me. likes/reblogs/feedback needed & appreciated <333

THE boys ganged up on Peck - but for a good reason. Peck was a man who mesmerizingly gazes at a photo of a chorus girl he met and fell in love with while his wife waits for him to come home every day, and is also the man who had gotten their mortar rounds with his own ripped poncho, resulting in getting a fellow marine killed after running to retrieve new ones.

Snafu was the first one to call him out for it. When it came to mentioning girls and whether or not each of them had one, Snafu was definitely going to be next to at least mention a name, or coat himself with a comment, and so he did.

“I don’t care what you think!” Peck exclaimed, annoyed by everyone, especially Snafu. “It’s not like you wouldn’t do the same.”

“Oh?” Snafu said, grinning. “I got a girl waitin’ for me to come home back in Louisiana.”

“Really?” Eugene raised his brow, showing a hint of curiosity that his friend never opened up about it until now. “You’ve never mentioned her before.”

He shrugged. “Nah. Well, she’s my girl who’s not really my girl, but is my girl anyway,” Snafu paid no mind to the twisted confused looks on everyone’s faces, he just continued lighting his cigarette with his filthy hands completely worn from the battle.

“What does that even mean? Is she your girl or not?” Jay D’Leau asked.

“We just fuck around, but we’re not together,” Snafu spoke with the cigarette lit in his mouth.

“Not surprised,” Leyden says.

“Fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means it’s not like you could hold down a girl for more than a week,” Peck says.

“You don’t got a say in shit, Peck. You carry a photograph of a Chorus broad while your wife dreads the day you die in the hands of a fuckin’ Jap,” he snaps. “I’m the luckiest son’a’bitch there ever was.”

“What’s her name?” Hamm asks.

THE tiny storage closet could fit up to only two people at a time, one if they were to bend over to get a hold of supplies from the shelves and bottom drawers. In that particular night was that storage closet used as a place of privacy for the extroverted Snafu, named Merriell back in Louisiana, and his girl who’s not really his girl, but is his girl anyway: you. Y/n.

People would have definitely heard you, whether they were walking past or were simply far away inside any seminar. The door to the closet was literally being pounded on by your back hitting against it with such force, after all. As for Merriell, he couldn’t give two shits. He’d let all of Louisiana hear you to let them know you belonged to him at that moment.

“You’re way too good at that,” you caught your breath moments after, straightening your dress despite its now developed wrinkles. Your hair was no longer neat and styled, but you did your best to fix it without a mirror.

“You’re experienced and lustful when you know what you’re doing,” he said so confidently.

“So when are you leaving?”

“Next week. Time flies when you’re having fun,” Merriell put his shirt on, exposing a bit of his chest from the buttons down, and realized you weren’t paying attention to his answer. “Ya hair’s fine, girl.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t wanna walk out there and catch people staring at me, wondering what the hell happened to mess up my hair.”

“Oh they’ll definitely know what happened,” Merriell smirks. “They’re gonna know you walked inside a closet and got drilled by Snafu Shelton until the cows came home.”

You chuckled. “Snafu? Are you sure you want people to go along with that nickname?”

He grins. “As long as I go along with it first.” He tightened his belt, shuffling a bit around the enclosed space of the storage closet.

You ran your hands down his chest. “I’ll write to you.”

Snafu chuckles. “Don’t get serious on me now. I’ll be fine. And don’t write to me,” he then went ahead to button his shirt.

You frown. “Why?”

“It’s a waste of paper.”

“Don’t you wanna keep in touch? Or don’t tell me, you’re planning your proposal to some girl up north?”

“No girl. But there’s nothing we have for each other but a good fuck, that’s all.” And he opens the door, letting you walk out first. He followed you behind, wishing he could hold your hand.

OK. Perhaps that was a lie. He saw you more than a good fuck. He saw something in you that gave him a bigger motivation to make it to the end of the war, to do his part and come back home. He was gonna miss catching a whiff of your strong perfume that would make him cough and crinkle his nose from his sinuses deteriorating. He was gonna miss how your hair was in his hand as he played with it while cuddling at a movie theatre.

He was gonna miss you.

NIGHT fell when Snafu hopped off the train. Louisiana was still the way it was when he had left it. The same old calls from food stands, chatter from one group to another. It was nothing new, but it was home.

He stopped to take a moment first. He didn’t want to wake up Eugene, who had been fast asleep in his seat. Knowing he had something to say before bidding a farewell to his friend, he bit his tongue and kept walking towards the exit.

Snafu, of course, didn’t expect to have anyone wait for him at the station. No family, no friends, no girl. So... what now? He thought. Just find yourself an old man as your chauffeur home, grab a beer and a bowl of peanuts.

“Damn, you look like a lost puppy, Snafu.” Snafu froze in his tracks. He shifted his weight from his duffel bag slung over his shoulder to turn himself around, to find you standing out from the walking crowd.

A sight for sore eyes.

“Shit, you’re here. As loyal as they come!” A smirk appeared on his face due to the surprise unexpected surprise, even referring to him as “Snafu”.

“You really think I wouldn’t be here waiting for your ugly ass to come home?” you teased.

“That’s four years of waiting,” Snafu points out. “Maybe five. Shit, you are loyal as they come.” You smile, your eyes twinkling like Christmas was happening way too early near the end of August.

“I have my parents’ car. They told me to bring it back by nine o’clock. I just want them to give me a later curfew, y’know? At least now that you’re home, I have a better reason to borrow it more often.”

“Well all I wanna do is pop a cold one once I stretch my fucking legs. I felt sick from the train ride home.”

“Motion sickness? It’s just one way.”

“A mixture of smoke and onions stunk up the whole boxcar.”

You made a face at that comment, and walked Snafu to your car. He stayed in the passenger seat even though you had pulled up to the house and shut off the engine. You both sat in silence for a moment.

“Should I even ask how service was?”

Snafu answered your question by changing the subject. “I really missed you, y/n.”

Cocking a brow, you gave him a look. “You insisted for us to not write to each other.”

“I missed you, whether we wrote to each other or not.” Snafu looks ahead of the night through the opened car window. “It was hell out there. I felt like all of Louisiana could hear it. But I knew I would come home to see that pretty lil’ ass of yours again.”

You chuckle. “Snafu-”

“Merriell.”

You frown. “I thought that’s your name now.”

“It is... but when you call me by my Christian name, you chase the loud noises away.” It didn’t matter if that was a metaphor or if he was starting to hear things that could cause a trigger in his senses.

Either way, you just had to ask, “Merriell, is everything right?”

Snafu- Merriell- looked at you. “Yeah. I mean, I think so. Y/n, I think I’m in love with you. Is that all right?”

“Anything that’s been goin’ on between us is just fine, Merriell Shelton.”

“I’ve been in love with you ever since we started foolin’ around. I didn’t think much of it. I always thought a new broad would occupy my thoughts a week after, but each week passes and all I did was look forward to seeing you and you only.”

Sighing, you take his hand that was rested on his leg. Merriell came to realization that this was the first time you two ever held hands without it leading to sex right after. Physical intimacy, indeed. “Merriell, I had a feeling our hookups would turn out into something more.”

“Really?” he asks.

“We were there for each other no matter what. It’s like I found my ride or die - y’know before you rode out of America for the war trying not to die.”

Merriell stroked your hand with his thumb, his eyes locked onto yours. “You were always my girl. Someone special.”

“I wasn’t really your girl to begin with,” you laughed. “But I also wasn’t anyone else’s, either.” Merriell leaned in, kissing you deeply. None of you pulled away until you had to catch a breath. “We waited a long time to do this again.”

Merriell leaned in again, closer this time that he could go on top of you. He whispered against your lips. “And thank Jesus H. I’m back.”

You both kissed for a couple of minutes. It stopped abruptly when you remembered where you two were at the moment. “Shit, sorry. My dad could have opened the blinds. You should come inside for dinner. My mother would be thrilled to see you in a uniform.”

“Shit, I’m already meeting your folks?” he curls his lips to a nervous grin. “I know damn well ya Dad’s gonna stare me down across the dinner table.”

“As long as you don’t tell him that I call you daddy, too, then you’ll be fine.” You earned a laugh from Merriell Shelton, and you two got out of your car and both walked up to the front steps, holding your boyfriend’s hand.

THE END

#snafu shelton one shot #snafu shelton imagine #snafu shelton x reader #snafu shelton #the pacific one shot #the pacific imagine #the pacific x reader #the pacific #the pacific fic #snafu shelton fic #reader insert #one shot #imagine #mk's faves

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danceing-spelled-wrong · 4 years ago

Text

Made a Grumpus OC

They're just one of few of them..not sure if I'll draw any of them, I drew them because..I'm bored

I have a grumpsona in mind..but I'm not finish with it's design

I guess I'll explain them

Amly Ductforce(I'm bad at names) came to Snaktooth island because they were bored and needed a vacation from their "job"

He's gender-fluid and doesn't mind people getting his pronouns wrong when he doesn't feel that gender, but some just call him a "They" and that's fine by him

One thing that she's really good at, is lying and stealing. When she came to Snaktooth Island, she started her hobby right away and stole some things from Wambus which got him pretty upset

He gives everyone nicknames despite not liking anyone besides Cromdo

She likes order yet enjoys chaos, sometimes, she would plant random objects that belong to the residents in each other's huts to start up something

When the town split, he went to the Boiling Bay due to the nice warm yet cold feel to it and because she wanted to steal stuff from Floofty

They're probably in their late 40s early 50s

Her and Cromdo get along for the most part as long as she doesn't steal anything from him

In their hut, they have a lot of stolen objects, most from Wambus

Their hut is beside Liz and Egg's hut but is to the right of the beach

If he was in the game, then you'd meet them the same time you meet Floofty

She doesn't like Lizbert because she always calls her out on the stuff she steals, same for Beffica

Due to his hatred to Lizbert, he shares the same hatred towards Eggabell but doesn't go out his way to steal from her, seeing her as too fragile

He's scared of Chandlo(because he would snap her like a twig), Shelda(because she acts like a cult leader), and Gramble(because he's too nice)

If they get caught stealing, they lie about it and theres a 90% chance it'll work due to their confident sounding voice and being a bit manipulative

Dialogue in game:

What everyone thinks of them

Filbo:

"Oh..them? They're..ok, as long as they don't cause any trouble.."

Wambus:

"...."

Beffica:

"She's just a thief, no wonder her and Cromdo work so well together, they're nothing but squeebs."

Gramble:

"I never spoke to him before..but..I don't think he likes me very much.."

Wiggle:

"She stole my banjo and said she wanted to play a song, but then she threw it off a cliff! I'm so glad I have fast reflexives."

Snorpy:

"All they do is steal stuff! Then lie about stealing that stuff! I haven't gotten my inventions back in 3 months!"

Cromdo:

"Ah..that grump is something all right..greatest business partner ever, she and I are gonna rule the money world!"

Triffany:

"Oh..Amly? I don't come in contact with her often but Wamby doesn't like her."

Chandlo:

"After they stole my balls AND Snorpy's inventions, I promised to never speak to them for the rest of my life bro!"

Floofty:

"I don't appreciate them stealing my leg or my notes. If given the chance, I would experiment on them."

Shelda:

"Do not speak of thy name who gladly would turn his back on us if given the chance!"

Cemi:

"Nope. I don't like her at all..she's not that attractive..and she hangs with Cromdo."

Charlia:

"I really don't like it when she tries to remove my arm..it hurts my feelings.."

Being asked about Floofty:

"I like stealing their stuff but if I offered to help them, I think they'll kill me."

Meeting them:

"Woah..a new face! I haven't seen anyone new around here in..grumping forever!"

"Who are ya and why are you talking to me?"

*explains*

"Oh! You're that amateur journalist Lizzie was talking about! I thought you were never coming, isn't this grand? New faces! New people! New stuff to..borrow!"

"I'm Amly Dustforce, the ruler of Snaktooth island!"

Will you come back to town?

"Wait..town? No way..if Cromy's not there, then I'm not going!"

"Also, I'm a little parched, can ya get me a Sqaquiri? I'd drink those things, everyday of the week, maybe we can..cut a deal, how's that sound doll?"

*Caught Sqaquiri*

"Now THAT was a refreshing beveridge, thanks doll!"

"So, ya want me to come back to town? Well, I might need some convincing, I want ya to find out what that Filbo kid does when nobody's lookin, I could use it for..things."

*You find out what Filbo does*

"HA! Are you serious?! Oh jezz, and I thought he couldn't be more of a squeeb! HAHA! Goodness..that's a laugh I needed..ha!"

"Good to know theres some things to see in town, but I'm more interested in WHAT is in town."

"For ya final task, I want ya to steal Beffica's diary..then rip out some pages that are interesting, and give them to me. Easy."

*You grab the pages*

"Sweet! Good job my messenger grump!"

"*sigh*, I think I'm ready to go to town..but..first I want you to get Cromy in town."

But you said that was the final task

"I lied."

"Get Cromy in town and I'll follow right behind, deal?"

*Cromdo is in town*

"Wow! That was..slow but it'll do!"

"Thanks doll, looking forward to chatting with ya! Farewell!"

Interview:

Have time for an interview?

"Interview? That sounds fun! I'm in."

Who are you?

"Amly Ductforce, it's pronounced Aim-ly. Strange. I know."

Why come to Snaktooth Island?

"I heard of Lizzie's stupid conspiracy on TV, I was about to change the channel when I heard there was an island involved, and I just so happened to be looking for a place to host my vacation. So I packed up and lied about being interested in her expedition."

Vacation from what?

"My life. My job. My family. Everything basically."

Thoughts on Bugsnax?

"I guess they're ok, the names could be better..but some taste pretty good. Note, keep away from the Aggroll."

Why?

"Because those things will break some bones and the flavor isn't even worth it! Also because it's named after someone I'm not found of."

Why did you leave town?

"I could handle the drama between Wamby and Gram, but once Cromy left, I had no reason to stay. I wanted to follow him, but I decided to live near the beach instead, so yeah."

What do you think about Cromdo?

"Me and him have a pretty decent relationship, I give him what he wants and he takes the fall for me. Simple business."

Are you planning on betraying him?

"No way, he's cool, I don't consider him a friend, but he's still great to work with."

Any info on Lizbert?

"Liz..I grumping hate her! She keeps saying I stole stuff from her, I would never do such a thing! If she didn't have that little obstacle beside her, I would burn her hut down!"

Woah, calm down. Who's this obstacle?

"I am calm..just speaking out my mind. And I'm talking about Eggabell. The doctor? Lizzie's girlfriend? Eggy bell? Yeah. She and her are like..two papers in a file. Theres nothing you can do to separate those two."

What happened to Lizbert?

"If we're being honest, I'm not sure."

Are you lying?

"Heh. For once in my life, no. I really don't know what happened to Lizzie, she went up that mountain and didn't come back."

How do you know she went up the mountain?

"I saw her."

Why didn't you tell anyone?

"I did. Nobody besides Cromy believed me, guess that's the price being the best liar in the world."

That'll be it. Thank you

"No problem doll, that was pretty fun! Here, have this!"

*stolen piece of journal paper*

"Found it while cleaning Lizzie's hurt, it might help ya in someway. Any who, I gotta run, farewell!"

Side Quests:

"Heya doll, you won't believe what I discovered! It'll help ya find Liz!"

What?

"First..get me a Poptick..it's very important."

Why?

"Trust me! It's super super SUPER important!

Sure, I guess

"Caramel please."

*Got the Poptick*

"Perfect..now..I need a Snaquiri.."

Are you going to tell me why?

"Nope. Make it quick! I have a feeling my brain's about to forget everyone!"

*Got the Snaquiri*

"Good..now..I need a Cheery, that'll be all to finish this!"

I have a feeling you're lying

"I'm hurt."

Fine.

"Hurry up! I'm losing my life force!"

*Got the Cheery*

"Alright..now-"

*silence*

What?

"That's it. I was just hungry."

Why did you say it was important

"There was no way you'd do it if I asked, so I just..slightly lied."

Slightly?!

"Calm down doll! Everything fine! Nobody got hurt.."

You have a lying problem

"I know..but I can't do anything about it, it's the only thing I got."

"When you're a liar, nobody wants to be around you, nobody likes you..and nobody will trust you."

"Ever since birth, I lied, stole, and broke so many things, nobody wants anything to do with me. I had no friend and my family kept saying I was a bad person..so I don't talk to them anymore."

"Lying is all I got left doll and if I stop, I got nothing. So I'm not stopping anytime soon, so deal with it."

"Thanks for the food..farewell."

Welcome back message:

"Oh..you're..back."

"Heya Wamby, didn't know you'd be back either! How sweet! The gangs coming back!"

"Amly, if you go near my farm-"

"What? Me? Go near your farm? No way! I would never!"

"Don't think that everyone things you're a saint! Only Cromdo thinks that!"

"I don't think I am one, but it's nice knowing you think so!"

"Just stay away from my farm."

"Deal. Happy catching up with you!"

Major Celebration Dialogue:

"You know, Cromby..maybe we should take a break from our business, we're making a few people upset by it."

"Agreed. What should we do to be occupied til then?"

"Hm..maybe we could sell Bugsnax? I could..borrow that trap the journalist uses."

"Yeah..yeah I like that idea!"

"It's settled! Cromy and Amly's marketing lives on!"

"We need a better name."

"Yeah.."

*approaching him*

"Heya doll, how's the party?"

*asked to dance*

"Sorry, but I'm working. Maybe when we sell out."

*sold out*

"Wow! That was quick, how's about a dance Cromy?"

"You bet! Meet you on the dance floor!"

Reaction to partner(I guess..he paired with Cromdo and Beff):

Cromdo: "Grumping..NO!"

Beffica: "Wait..no..what..what's going on?!"

Dying message:

"I'm nothing but a liar..a cold..worthless liar. I hurt so many people..no wonder I have no friends..at least I got bugsnax.."

Final message(Good ending):

"What the ever grump was all that?! Why..did...oh zonk who cares?We're alive! Ha ha! Amly lives to see a new day!

You know..after all of this..I think I'll finally turn over that new leaf..I'll quit my job..and start fresh in the country. I should also apologize to everyone I hurt, so..sorry doll, I stole your pen...

Geez that took a lot out of me! Ah! This'll be hard!

But..it feels..kinda nice..guess I shouldn't wait around..farewell, til we cross paths again, doll."

Final message(Bad ending)

"What..the grump? Cromdo..he's..gone. This..makes me..realize..our lives are so..fragile, I..shouldn't waste it..

Oh Cromdo..if I known that..I would have put myself in your place

At least..maybe we could be together..again

Business partners forever...ha.."

I over complicate everything

#bugsnax #grumpsona #bugsnax oc #art #bugsnax art #random #original character #my art #idk #cromdo face #beffica #Amly Dustforce

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years ago

Text

just a farewell

It’s very hot.

It’s the middle of July, and Janis is boiling even with her window open and a fan running full blast. She’s always hated summer. Cady, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered by the heat.

She does, however, seem very bothered by the other thing that the middle of July is bringing them. Janis is leaving for college in New York, and Cady is staying for her own in Illinois.

In September, when they first started applying for colleges, they weren’t even together. They were crushing hard on each other, but not dating. They didn’t even know what schools the other had applied to. By the time they started hearing things back, it was February and they had finally started dating.

They’d had a long discussion about how much they wanted their relationship to affect their decisions. They’d come to the mutual but rather upsetting agreement that, no matter how much they loathe the idea, there’s always a chance their relationship won’t last forever. Their educations would, and they both deserve the one that would be best for them.

So, Janis decided on an arts school in New York. Damian had actually chosen the same one, so they decided to rent an apartment in the city together. Damian is a performing arts major, and Janis decided to study art history and drawing, wanting to leave painting as her sacred art medium.

Cady’s application process was rather more involved, since she had been homeschooled for all but two years and her parents had never done any kind of credit system. She’d had to take placement exams instead of basing things off of her transcript. She’d chosen to go to the University of Illinois, and had managed to get herself in as a junior in credits as a mathematics major. Regina is majoring in psychology there as well, and they had recently learned they’re going to be roommates.

“I’m gonna take this down,” Cady says quietly as she grabs a box by the door, sneakily before it can be taped shut.

“Sure thing, Peanut. Thanks,” Janis says as she folds another shirt for the box she’s packing.

Cady carries her box down the stairs and out to Janis’ truck. She had snuck her Mathletes jacket over and hidden it from Janis. Cady tucks it safely in the box with a little love note and tapes it shut, then slides the box into the back of Janis’ truck bed. She can live without it for a few months.

Janis is worried.

Cady has been acting oddly all month. She barely speaks, and when she does her voice is soft and monotone. She’s been extra clingy, always needing some form of physical contact with Janis whenever they’re together and seeming to panic slightly when she’s not able to. And, Cady’s been having more nightmares, regularly waking up either screaming or sobbing in Janis’ arms.

But the worst part by far, the part that worries Janis the most: Cady hasn’t smiled in almost a week. No matter what Janis does, she won’t smile. Janis does understand. She’s dreading the idea of leaving her girlfriend, but she’s still worried about her.

She pushes the last box containing her bedsheets over by the door to be carried down later and flops down on her bare mattress. Cady comes back and scoots in next to her. It’s too hot to cuddle no matter how badly they both want to, so Cady settles for hooking their pinkies together.

“Hi, Kitkat,” Janis says, turning onto her side to see her.

“Hi.” Cady replies in a voice so sad that Janis wants to unpack everything and stay behind.

“What’s wrong?” Janis asks sadly. Cady turns to look at her as well, heaving a sigh as she does. Janis runs a hand through Cady’s newly chin-length curls. “You haven’t smiled in so long. What’s the matter?”

“You’re leaving,” Cady says quietly.

“I gathered that,” Janis chuckles weakly. “I get it. I don’t want to leave you either. But I’m worried about you. You barely even speak anymore, and you keep waking up crying. I miss your smile.”

“It’s stupid,” Cady mumbles. Janis sees her eyes watering and switches their grip to hold her whole hand, giving a gentle squeeze.

“Baby, no it’s not,” she chides. “If you’re this upset, nothing could be stupid. Just tell me what’s wrong, I don’t want to leave knowing you’re this sad.”

Cady takes a deep breath and inches herself a bit closer. “I’m... I’m scared,” she chokes. “When-when Aaron left for his school we didn’t even make it two months. I thought I was so in love with him, and then it all ended. And with Rhys, he left and he... he never came back. I’m scared I’ll never see you again.”

She dissolves into broken sobs by the time she finishes. Janis gives up on trying to keep cool and pulls her into a tight cuddle, desperately hushing her and trying to comfort her as best she can. She supposes she should have known Cady would have some sort of issue with abandonment. Two of the people she loved most in the world left her. One broke up with her and the other died. It all makes a bit more sense now.

“Oh, baby,” Janis hushes. “It’s not like that for us. Aaron was so far away, and you weren’t with him nearly as long. And Butterfly, Rhys was going to war when he had to leave you. I’m going to New York, I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Cady sobs. “New York is dangerous! What if you get mugged?”

“If I get mugged then you’ll be the first to know since you’ll have to bail me out of jail for killing whoever tried me,” Janis says. “I know how to defend myself. I have pepper spray and a knife, and my mom made me take all those self defense classes with her, remember? I’m gonna be safe. Our apartment is in a good neighborhood and I’m not gonna go anywhere alone.”

Cady knows she’s being slightly irrational. Nobody would mess with Janis after looking twice at her, but she’s still scared. “What if you meet someone else? And like them more than me?”

Janis rolls over and pulls Cady to lie on top of her. “I don’t think that’s possible, Peanut. I love you so much. I’m more worried about you meeting some hot math dork and ditching me. Someone with, like, elbow patches on a turtleneck, you know?”

Cady doesn’t quite laugh, but Janis feels the slightest hint of a grin against her neck. Progress is progress. “I’m sorry.”

“Baby, no, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m... devastated, I don’t want to leave you here,” Janis says, choking back her own tears. “But we’re gonna be okay.”

Cady nods against her shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Butterfly. Come on, I have an idea,” Janis says, prying her girlfriend off her lap gently and tugging on the pair of shoes she left unpacked to wear on her drive to New York.

“Oh god,” Cady groans as she hauls herself upright and wipes the tears from her face. Janis’ ideas tend to be a little out there. Her last one involved stealing Damian’s old trombone and using it to piss off a bunch of local cows. She’d nearly gotten herself trampled and the trombone had not survived the incident.

“Not like the cows. Or the chickens,” Janis says quickly. “This one’s safe, I promise. Come on.”

Cady inches her feet back into her flip flops and takes Janis’ hand, following her to her mom’s car since her truck is full of all her stuff. Janis has truly mastered the art of driving one handed now, since Cady always asks to hold one.

Cady is confused when they pull up to a convenience store, but follows Janis in anyway. She’s even more confused when Janis makes a beeline for the stationary section, since they usually only stop by for snacks.

Janis looks carefully at all the calendars, before she grabs one with pictures of kittens for each month. “Pick one for me to have.” Cady looks too, picking one with different famous paintings for each month. “Perfect.”

Janis takes both and heads to check out, leading a puzzled Cady behind her. Why are they buying calendars they can only use for a few more months?

“Do you want to go get frozen yogurt, baby?” Janis asks once they’re in the car again. Cady nods happily, excited at the idea of her favorite treat. Finally got her to smile.

—————-

Cady insists on paying for their yogurt, since she knows hers will be very expensive. She’s piled loads of popping boba, gummy worms, strawberries, and Oreos on top of her watermelon flavored frozen yogurt. Janis kept it simple with salted caramel yogurt topped with mini M&Ms.

Janis finds a bench nearby with an umbrella so they’re not in the sun. Cady sits and pulls Janis into her lap, resting her head on Janis’ shoulder as they both dig in.

“Do you want to try some of mine?” Cady asks after a few minutes, offering a spoonful to her girlfriend.

“Are you just offering because you want some of mine and you’re trying to make it fair?” Janis asks knowingly, but does take the offered bite.

“No,” Cady says sheepishly. “I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend.”

Janis chuckles around the strange mess of flavors in her mouth. “You don’t have to try to do that, Peanut. Here.” She offers Cady a bite of her own.

“Yours is good,” Cady says, finishing off her own. She winces a little at the tart flavor of the watermelon immediately after the sweetness of the caramel.

“Wanna taste it again?” Janis asks as she takes the last bite of her own.

“But you finished it,” Cady says in confusion.

“And?” Janis purrs, leaning in to kiss her and flicking her tongue against the seam of her lips. Cady gasps in understanding, so Janis takes the opportunity to brush their tongues together. After a few minutes, she breaks away. “Tastes even better this way.”

“You’re so smooth,” Cady jokes. “And sweaty, get off.”

Janis laughs and stands up, offering a hand to help Cady back up. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jay.” Cady says. The sadness is starting to come back.

“Come on, let’s go do my idea.”

————-

A few minutes later they’re back at Janis’ house, sitting on the bare floor of her bedroom. “What is this idea?”

Janis pulls out the calendars and her mom’s fancy felt-tip pens in all sorts of fun colors. She hands the paintings one to Cady and keeps the kitten one in front of her.

“You do better with visual reminders of stuff, right?” Janis asks as she picks out a dark yellow pen. Cady nods. “So, we’ll go through these and mark off when everything starts and when our breaks are, and when we’ll call each other. Then you can count off all the days until we’re together again.”

“Oh,” Cady says. “That is good.”

“I told you,” Janis teases, poking her knee with her foot. “Are you thinking of joining any clubs or anything that would meet on Saturday nights?”

“I don’t think so,” Cady says confusedly. “Why?”

“We could have video dates those days. My art club only meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I’d be free if you are,” Janis says. “We’ll still call and stuff during the week, obviously, but I think it would be good to have something scheduled.”

“That sounds good too,” Cady says. “You’re so thoughtful.”

“I try really hard,” Janis jokes, marking off every Saturday for the remaining weeks of July, along with all of August, September, and October. Janis had already made the tough decision not to come back during her fall break, so they wouldn’t be able to see each other until Thanksgiving.

Cady does the same to hers. “Now what?”

“Look up when your fall break is and mark that, and do Thanksgiving too. We’ll do something fun over Facetime on my fall break since I can’t come back,” Janis says. “And then when I’m back for Thanksgiving we’ll do this again for the next semester.”

Cady marks off her first day of classes, her fall break in October, and the start of her Thanksgiving break. Janis does the same, and makes a special mark on the day she’s flying home for Thanksgiving in November.

Cady adds cute little doodles on random days, with random ‘I love you’ reminders scattered throughout as well. Just to make Janis smile. Once they finish marking everything, they switch calendars. Janis tucks hers safely into the backpack she would be bringing on her road trip.

Cady reaches for her once they finish. Janis is leaving in just a few hours, she wants to squeeze in as many cuddles as she can before she has to go. Janis obliges, cuddling into her side and burying her face into her neck. Cady turns to face her and nuzzles her nose into her hair.

They cling to one another desperately until they both get too hot and uncomfortable to continue. Janis inches back and holds her hand instead, checking the time on her phone with the other.

“We should get to Damian’s soon,” she says quietly. “We need time to load up all of his stuff too.”

Cady pouts. Janis and Damian would be leaving directly from his house. She’d get her last kisses, hugs, and cuddles for several months there. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Janis switches out her keys, grabbing the ones for her truck and leaving the ones for her mom’s car behind. Her mom and sister would meet them at Damian’s house later to see them off, but she takes a second to look wistfully around at the house itself.

Cady clings to her hand as they walk through the yard, and snatches it back as soon as Janis gets into the driver’s seat. The smiles and getting her voice back seems to have been a temporary thing. Quiet Cady is back now, playing sadly with Janis’ rings.

Janis has a key to Damian’s house and can tell by the lack of car in the driveway that his mom isn’t home, so she unlocks it and throws the door open with a loud, “What’s up, fuckers?!”

Pippa, who was waiting behind the door at the sound of a key, scrambles to run to her owner in the living room for protection. Janis and Cady follow, Cady shaking her head in exasperation.

Pippa gets very excited when she sees Cady and runs back over, popping up on her hind legs to show she wants attention. Cady can barely smile even at the adorable antics of the puppy, but does bend down to pet her like always.

She carries Pippa down the hall to Damian’s bedroom, following her girlfriend and best friend. Damian has everything packed already, they just need to get the boxes into Janis’ truck.

Cady’s glad that Janis and Damian are going to the same place. As hard as it is for Janis to leave Cady, she knows having to leave Damian would have been much harder for her. She’s glad Janis and Damian have always had each other to lean on, and still get to be together.

Eventually the puppy cuddles have to take a temporary break, so she rests Pippa on Damian’s bed and grabs a box to carry out.

With the three of them working, the boxes are all where they need to be pretty quickly. Now they have about two and a half hours to kill before Janis and Damian have to hit the road.

“Should we have one last movie night?” Damian asks. Cady almost bursts into tears then, she had forgotten she’d be losing him for a while too. She nods, knowing that if she tries to speak she’s going to be completely inconsolable for the next several hours.

She sits in between both of them, trying to focus on Lilo and Stitch instead of the coming events. It just about works.

Unfortunately, the movie has to come to an end, along with their time together. Nobody speaks, but they all squish a little bit closer together.

“I love you guys,” Cady whispers, finally prompting the tears from all of them. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“We’re gonna miss you too, Little Slice,” Damian says.

Janis doesn’t say anything, just leans her head onto her girlfriend’s shoulder. She stays there for a second before she seems to remember something and leaves.

“Where are you going?” Cady asks through her tears.

“I have something for you, hold on,” Janis replies through her own. Cady cuddles more with Damian while she’s gone.

Janis comes back carrying a strangely shaped... something. “Here.”

Cady takes it and nearly drops it on her toes. “What is it?”

“It’s a weighted thing, I made it from one of my jackets,” Janis sniffs. “To help you when you get overloaded. Or just when you want cuddles.”

Upon closer inspection, it is made out of one of Janis’ decorated jackets. “This was your favorite one, why would you do that?”

“It had a rip in it anyway, there was no way I could get it back,” Janis says.

Cady squeezes it close. It smells like Janis, and her girlfriend left the sleeves on and filled them with whatever she used to weigh the body down, to simulate a hug. “I love it. Thank you, Jayjay.”

“Of course,” Janis says quietly. Damian leaves then as well, and returns with his own signature blue jacket.

“Here, you can have this too,” he chokes. Cady takes it gratefully and hugs both her new gifts close.

“Thanks, D,” she says.

Janis and Damian’s families show up in the midst of a very long, tearful goodbye hug. It’s time to go.

Cady squeezes them quickly and lets them go to their families, knowing she’ll get one last chance to say goodbye before they actually have to go. The tears keep streaming down her face as she watches Janis and Juliana say their goodbyes. Janis’ mom even brought Pancakes, and that goodbye is even more sad.

Eventually, they all head out into the yard. Janis and Cady have a moment to themselves as Damian says goodbye to his mom and Janis’ family.

Cady throws herself at her girlfriend and refuses to let go as Janis picks her up. She locks her legs around her waist and arms around her neck as they both sob quietly into each other’s shoulders.

“I don’t want you to go,” Cady weeps quietly.

“I know,” Janis murmurs back. “I don’t want to go either.”

“I love you so much,” Cady sobs. “I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna do great.”

“So are you,” Janis says, resting her back on her feet and cupping her face. “I love you so much.”

“We’re gonna be fine,” Cady says, seemingly more to comfort herself than Janis. “You’ll come back.”

“Always. I’ll always come back to you. In November,” Janis chokes in response. “I promise.”

“Will you text me or call me when you’re not driving?” Cady asks, cuddling into her shoulder again.

“Of course,” Janis sniffs. “I’ll keep you updated.”

“Okay,” Cady sobs in reply. “This is the worst, I hate goodbyes.”

“I know, I hate this too,” Janis sobs. “Come here.”

They both lean in for a kiss, trying to convey all their love and sorrow through it. Their tears mingle on their cheeks, and they can both taste the salt on one another’s lips. Every once in a while one pulls back to choke out another sob, but the other pulls them back in quickly.

Eventually they do have to break apart to breathe again. Cady murmurs ‘I love you’ in every language she knows. Damian calls Janis over then, they really do have to get going.

“I love you, Bluejay,” Cady says, kissing her one last time.

“I love you too, Butterfly,” Janis says back. “Good-“

“No. Don’t-don’t say that,” Cady insists. “This time it really isn’t a goodbye. You’re coming back. This is a farewell.”

“Okay. Farewell, Cady Heron,” Janis says as she climbs into the passenger side. She and Damian had decided that he would drive first. Janis knew she would probably be crying too hard to drive safely.

“Farewell, Janis Sarkisian,” Cady says, kissing her cheek through the window before she steps back to stand by their families.

Juliana clings to Cady as Damian and Janis drive off. Cady clings to her just as tightly, both of them crying into each other. Everyone waves at the truck until it’s out of sight.

Cady spends the rest of the day with their families, wanting their company to distract herself from her feelings. She plays Just Dance and a few card games with Juliana to keep them both busy.

A few hours after they’ve left, Cady’s phone pings with a text from Janis. It’s a very blurry picture of the sign marking the border to Indiana.

“Is that them?” Julie asks.

“Mmhmm. They’re in Indiana now,” Cady says, turning the phone so she can see the picture. “Janis says she’s taking over driving, but she’ll let us know when they stop again.”

“How far away is your school?” Julie asks quietly.

“Only about two hours, it’s in Champaign,” Cady answers, replying to Janis’ message before she deals a new hand for their game. “Why?”

“You can come back more often,” Julie says. “I don’t want to be alone, now that Janny’s gone.”

Cady almost starts crying again. “Of course. Your mom got you a phone, right?”

“Uhhuh,” Julie says, digging into her pocket and pulling it out. Cady takes it and enters her contact information.

“There. If something happens or you get lonely just tell me and I’ll come back,” Cady promises. “Do you have Janis and Damian’s numbers too?”

Julie nods. “Thanks, Cady.”

Cady grins at her. “No problem, kiddo.”

————-

Cady stays with their families until sunset, when her parents tell her she needs to come home. Janis has continually texted her throughout the day, sending pictures of cute birds she finds at rest stops or strange things she sees out the windows.

Cady is about to turn in for the night when her phone pings one last time.

bluejay: caddy caddy

butterfly: What what?

bluejay: oh we made it to my family’s place btw we’re about halfway thru ohio

bluejay: but vera and her friends took us around to see stuff and there’s a massive field of fucking concrete corn

butterfly: What?

bluejay: Sent a picture: ive never been more afraid in my life

butterfly: That’s so weird, why couldn’t they just have actual corn there?

bluejay: i don’t know!!!! i’m scared i’m gonna get murked here but vera says ppl take prom pics with them and shit

butterfly: How tall are they?

bluejay: i think they’re about six feet they’re not that much taller than me

butterfly: Huh. How weird.

bluejay: ikr

bluejay: what are you up to babes ?

butterfly: Sent a picture: Sleepy 📷️

bluejay: aww. i miss you so much already baby

butterfly: I miss you so much, love. I have my cuddle thing you made me and I just crossed off my calendar for the day 📷📷

bluejay: oh i’ll go do that once vera finds her gfs

bluejay: goodnight peanut i love you

butterfly: Goodnight, Jayjay, I love you too

Cady shuts off her phone and plugs it in, turning onto her side and staring at the calendar she pinned to the wall. She tries to look at the cute kittens in party hats and not the word ‘JULY’ in large letters, taunting her just below it. She buries her face into the cushion, inhaling Janis’ lingering scent, and gently cries herself to sleep.

————-

Very late the next evening, she gets a text from Janis letting her know they’ve made it safely to their apartment in New York, and they’re going to get to work unpacking everything the next morning.

With the new time difference, Janis is an hour ahead of her, so they wake up at roughly the same time, now. Janis texts her around ten Cady’s time to ask if she wants to Facetime while she gets started unpacking.

Cady, obviously, agrees immediately. A call from Janis comes through, and Cady hits the green button to accept it.

“Hey, love,” she greets. “How’s the big apple?”

“Big,” Janis responds. “Here, look.” Cady can see her shuffle out of her new bed and over to the window, and then the camera flips around to show off Janis’ view.

“Wow,” Cady says. “That’s beautiful.”

“I think my view is more beautiful,” Janis flirts. “I miss you.”

“I miss you,” Cady responds sadly. “But hey, we’re already two and a half days down until we’re back together!”

“Look at you, little miss optimist,” Janis chuckles. “What are you up to?”

“Art, kind of, actually,” Cady says happily. “I got all my stuff for school yesterday, I’m decorating my notebooks.”

“Lemme see,” Janis says excitedly, sitting on her floor and opening a box. Cady flips around her own camera to show the lion she’s painting onto the cover of her yellow notebook. “Cute! I like it.”

They continue to chat lightly as they both work, and it almost feels like they’re back together again. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Cady hears a quiet gasp as Janis opens another box.

“Baby,” she says quietly. “You gave me your jacket?”

“Yeah,” Cady says shyly. “I wanted you to have something physical of mine. Turns out we had similar ideas.” She watches Janis read the little note she hid inside and the smile grow on her face.

“Thank you, Butterfly,” Janis says. She wraps the soft blue and yellow fabric around her shoulders and continues unpacking the rest of her clothes.

“You’re welcome, Bluejay,” Cady replies. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Peanut,” Janis says.

—————

About a month later, Cady is officially moved into her dorm and ready for her first day of classes. Janis doesn’t start her own until Wednesday, so she still has time to get everything ready.

On Monday morning, Cady wakes up to a text from her girlfriend. It’s eight in the morning her time, so Janis must have woken up extra early just to say hi.

bluejay: good luck at class butterfly. have a great first day 📷📷

butterfly: Thanks, Jellybean. I love you 📷️📷️

bluejay: i love you more. tell me all about it when you get back go be smart

Cady sends back a thumbs up and kissy emoji, then shuts her phone off and heads down to the bathrooms to get ready.

On Wednesday, she does the same for Janis. Janis’ classes are all in the afternoon, but Cady sends her a sweet text at around eleven to wish her luck.

butterfly: Good luck today, my love. You’re gonna do brilliant things and I can’t wait to see them 📷

Janis sends back a picture of her making a peace sign but with her eyes brimming with tears. Cady replies to that with a picture of her making a kissy face and an apology for making her cry, and they text back and forth while Janis gets ready and Cady has her lunch.

On Saturday, they have their first date over video chat. Cady puts on a nicer outfit even though she’s just sitting at her desk in her dorm. Regina is away at a party for the night, so she’s got privacy to talk to her love.

At the agreed time (which Cady had spent a very long time confirming Janis knew, even with the time difference), she opens her laptop and brings up Facetime, shuffling her short hair as she sends the call through. Her eyebrows shoot up as her girlfriend comes into view. The formerly blonde ends of her hair are…

“Blue! I mean, hi!” She says, pointing to the screen before she remembers that Janis can’t see what she’s pointing to.

Janis laughs at her reaction. “Hey, Peanut. I got bored and bought a bunch of colors of temporary dye, Damian helped me do it. What do you think?”

“It looks really good,” Cady says. Janis notices her brow furrowing and her lips going into a thin line.

“You wanna touch it, don’t you?” She asks. Cady nods crankily. “Soon. I’ll dye it blue again when I come back.”

“How long does it last?” Cady asks. “It really suits you.”

“Only about a week, it’s kind of like paint. I’m glad you like it,” Janis replies. “Anyway, how was your first week?”

“Good! My classes are actually a bit easier than I was expecting,” Cady chirps happily. “And my professors are really nice. It’s just kind of hard to remember where everything is, still. How has yours been?”

“Not bad,” Janis shrugs. “School is fine, but I miss you. Damian and I have been walking around to get used to the city, and I keep finding places you’d love and then I remember you’re so far away and I can’t actually take you there.”

Cady frowns. “Maybe I’ll have to come to you a few times, then you can show me around.”

Janis grins back. “Yeah, that would be great. Honestly, I think you’d really like it in the city. It’s big and kind of overwhelming, but once you’re used to it it’s just like you’re in your own little pocket. And then you travel to other pockets.”

“It does sound fun,” Cady giggles. “Has your art club started yet?”

“No, it’s not ‘til next week,” Janis says. “But a bunch of people in it are in my classes too, so I got to meet some of them. They all seem chill, I’m excited.”

“Good,” Cady smiles. “I’m glad.”

“How’s having Reginald for a roommate been treating you?” Janis asks. “I see a lot of pink already.”

“Yeah, trying to mesh us is a little tricky,” Cady giggles. “A lot of pink and then a lot of my tribal patterns from Africa. But really, she’s actually been a good roommate so far. She doesn’t even complain about my nightlight thingy you got me.”

“Good,” Janis grins. “God, I miss you so much. I want snuggles.”

“I miss you too,” Cady says. “But it’s August now! We made it a whole month already, now we just have… a few more to get through.”

“I’m really glad you’re an optimist, babe,” Janis chuckles. “I love you.”

Cady leans in to kiss her laptop camera, and once Janis catches on she does the same. “I love you too.”

————-

In October, Cady makes special plans for Janis’ birthday. She switched her location to the city to order some sushi for Janis’ dinner to their apartment, and sent a bit of money to Damian for streamers. It’s a Thursday, so Janis has her art club and won’t be home until late.

She gets to talk to Damian while he sets everything up, happy to catch up with her best friend. He’s just blowing up the final balloon when Janis enters. Cady quickly dons the party hat she purchased and grabs her party popper.

“Aww, Dame,” Janis says happily, not having noticed Cady on the screen yet. “Cute.”

“Wasn’t me,” Damian shrugs, slightly out of breath from blowing up all the balloons himself.

“You’re the only one here,” Janis says confusedly. “Ooh, sushi, yay!”

“That definitely wasn’t me,” Damian says. “For fucks sake, get over here.”

“What?” Janis asks around a mouthful of salmon maki roll, coming to sit by him on their crappy little couch. “Oh!”

Cady pulls the string on her party popper, making a louder bang than she was expecting and causing her to yelp as the confetti all rains down on her. “Happy birthday, love!”

Janis laughs. “Thanks, Peanut! Did you do all this?”

“Uhhuh! I hope that sushi place is good, it had the best reviews,” Cady says. “Thanks for the help, D.”

“Anytime,” Damian says. “Cads, do you have your stuff?”

“Yep!” Cady chirps, grabbing her favorite blanket and a bowl of popcorn, climbing up to her top bunk in her bed.

“What’s going on?” Janis asks in confusion, around yet another mouthful of sushi.

“We’re having a movie night! Damian and I figured out how to do it,” Cady says happily. “You get to pick the movie, birthday girl.”

“Can I pick a horror movie?” Janis asks. It’s already a bit late, and Cady typically needs a minimum of one happy movie after any scary one to be able to sleep. Janis usually has to cuddle her, too, but she can’t exactly do that from a different state.

“Sure,” Cady replies anxiously. Maybe Regina will let her sleep in her bunk. Almost definitely not, but maybe. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Compromise, I wanna watch Coraline,” Janis says. “That’s… almost a horror movie but not quite.”

“Okay,” Damian chuckles. He pulls it up and shares the screen with Cady. It’s nowhere near as good as their real movie nights, but it’s better than nothing. They still get to stay up way too late on a school night and eat more popcorn than should ever be consumed in one sitting.

Cady is thoroughly spooked by the time they all have to hang up, but Regina offers a mug of her favorite calming tea to help her sleep and begrudgingly agrees to tuck her in. Cady drifts off clinging to her homemade cuddle buddy and wrapped tightly in her blankets.

————-

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, Cady gets a very late night text from Janis.

bluejay: peanut

bluejay: i’m really sorry

Cady instantly replies, trying not to panic.

butterfly: What’s the matter?

bluejay: i can’t come home for thanksgiving

bluejay: the airline just canceled our tickets out of nowhere and they don’t have any other replacements. everywhere else is booked too

butterfly: No

butterfly: You said Thanksgiving. You have to come back

bluejay: i know

bluejay: i can’t change it i’m sorry. dame and i looked everywhere

butterfly: Look again

butterfly: Please Jay

bluejay: okay i’ll check one more time

Janis checks every single airline for any available ticket. Everywhere is booked until after her break.

bluejay: i’m sorry baby there’s literally nothing

bluejay: i miss you so much i want to come back and see you

bluejay: baby ??

Cady’s been crying too hard to see her keyboard.

butterfly: You promosed

Cady never makes typos. Janis brings up her contact and calls her immediately, frowning when Cady declines.

bluejay: baby please

bluejay: i don’t have any control over this

bluejay: you know i’d walk back if i could

bluejay: baby please at least answer me

Janis suddenly gets a text from Regina, of all people.

reginald: What the hell have you done?

reginald: Cady’s, like, losing it. I think she’s having a shutdown.

snarkisian: my flight home got cancelled

snarkisian: is she okay ??? she won’t answer me

reginald: I think she’s too upset to notice you’re trying to get ahold of her. She’s crying really hard. And she won’t come out from under her blanket.

snarkisian: god caddy

snarkisian: can you ask her quietly if she’d be able to talk to me if you answered the phone ?? she’s probably too upset to move but i might be able to help her calm down

reginald: She said yes. Or nodded, at least. I would help but I don’t know what to do, I’ve never seen her like this.

snarkisian: i haven’t either but she told me what helps her. i’ve only seen her have a meltdown

snarkisian: just watch what i do ig

She pulls up Cady’s contact again, and this time there’s an answer. It’s Regina’s concerned face, but she quickly sticks the phone into Cady’s little blanket cave so Janis can see her instead.

“Hey, Butterfly,” Janis says sadly when she sees Cady’s face. She’s stimming aggressively but very slowly, and even in the darkness Janis can see the tear tracks on her face. “Baby, I’m so sorry, I want to come back. So bad, I miss you. I want to hold you and kiss you and never let go.”

Cady sobs a few times, hard. She gasps for breath in between each. Janis notices she’s getting more upset and stimming harder, wringing her hands back and forth. Her skin is turning white with each twist.

“Do you have your weighted blanket?” Janis asks. Cady manages to shake her head. “Would it help?” She nods. “Okay. Reggie?”

“Yeah?” Regina calls from outside their little cocoon.

“There should be a weighted blanket wherever she keeps her clothes. It’s blue and has little flowers on it, can you give that to her?” Janis asks. Cady flinches at the volume of their voices and covers her ears.

“I’ll try,” Regina says. It might mean sleeping on a heating pad due to an aggravated back, but if it helps her friend, it’s worth it. Huh, maybe I really am a decent person now.

She finds a blanket that matches the description tucked in the bottom drawer of Cady’s dresser. With a good deal of effort, she hauls it out and hefts it up onto Cady’s bunk. Cady pokes her red, teary face out from her other blanket and grabs the weighted one, wrapping it around herself like a cloak. Janis can see her breathe a little sigh of relief at the pressure.

“Where’s your thing I made you?” Janis asks quietly again. Cady pokes an arm out to grab her cuddle buddy, resting it on her lap. The extra weight helps even more. “Deep breaths, Peanut.”

Cady nods and listens, taking some deep breaths in and out between her sobs. Regina helps by dimming the lights in their room and turning on Cady’s nightlight that paints colorful stars on the ceiling. Cady said that she just kind of has to wait shutdowns out, and that she almost never gets them anymore. Janis feels terrible that she caused one, even inadvertently.

She stays on the phone and Regina waits nearby anxiously until Cady sort of recovers nearly an hour later. She’s stopped crying and her stimming has picked up speed again.

“Are you okay, baby?” Janis asks quietly. Cady shakes her head. “I know. Are you feeling a little better, at least?” Cady nods. “Good. I’m so sorry, Butterfly.”

“‘S not your fault,” Cady chokes. “‘’M sorry.”

“No, Peanut, don’t be sorry,” Janis says. “I’m sorry this happened. Reggie, she has a calendar on her desk, can you grab that?”

Regina does, passing it and a pen to Cady in silence and climbing back into her own bed. She’s still within earshot, but she would very much like to go back to bed now that her roommate is okay.

Cady flips to November and aggressively scratches out the week of Thanksgiving. Stupid airlines.

“I’ll book my tickets home for Christmas now, you can mark those off instead,” Janis says. Cady watches her eyes shift as she browses the available flights home. “There. I’ll be back on the fifteenth.”

Janis actually booked a flight for the tenth. Her break is remarkably long, luckily for her. Maybe she’ll surprise Cady. She watches Cady take her pen and mark off December fifteenth with a sad grin.

“Okay. I love you,” Cady says quietly once it’s been done.

“I love you too, Peanut,” Janis says. She leans in for a camera kiss, and Cady does the same. “Call me every day of your break so we can still talk, okay? I can’t wait to see you.”

Cady nods slowly, lethargic from her shutdown. “It’s late, go to bed.”

“You go to bed,” Janis retaliates childishly.

“I’m in bed,” Cady replies, holding the phone to show her nest on her bunk.

“Ugh, you know what I mean,” Janis groans with a chuckle. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

“Night, love. Sleep well,” Cady says, nestling into bed and leaning in for one more camera kiss.

“You too,” Janis replies, returning it. One more month.

————-

The next morning, Janis texts Regina. Her help will be vital if she wants to make Cady’s surprise actually good.

snarkisian: reggieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

reginald: Christ. What do you want, Jan?

snarkisian: for u to stop using proper punctuation and capitalization in text first of all

snarkisian: but i lied to caddy i’m actually coming back on the tenth

snarkisian: can u help me surprise her ????

reginald: Lord, it never ends with you two.

snarkisian: stahp

snarkisian: just try. end ur next one without a period. i bet u can’t

reginald: I hate you

snarkisian: eyyy

reginald: Are we surprising your girlfriend or not?

snarkisian: oh yeah oops

snarkisian: all i should need is a way into ur dorm. i can get an uber there from the airport

reginald: I’ll pay for it. What time are you coming in?

snarkisian: OWO reggie being nice ???

snarkisian: i should land around one your time so i’ll be there a bit after that

reginald: I do actually care about you two, against my better judgement. I’ll come back between classes and let you in. Her last class that day ends at three.

snarkisian: tits thanks reggie

snarkisian: love u

reginald: Ugh.

Janis grins at her phone as Regina ends their conversation. She never thought she’d have banter like that with her again. Time to plan.

—————-

Janis writes out a note as she sits next to Damian on the plane. He fell asleep almost immediately after they took off, but Janis knows he’s also very excited to see Cady and their families.

Janis picks her pen back up and continues writing after a quick glance at his snoring face.

Dear Butterfly,

Hi, baby. I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve missed holding you and getting all your kisses and cuddles. I miss trying to count your freckles and seeing your beautiful eyes up close. Cameras and jackets can only do so much, I guess.

I’ll be back before you know it and won’t have to let you go until January. I can’t wait. I’ll see you soon, Peanut.

Love, Jayjay

P.S. Turn around ;)

That should do it. A bit short, but it’ll get her message across well enough. She only has a couple more hours until she’s reunited with her love.

——————-

She bids Damian a farewell as they get their bags. He’s going directly back to Evanston, but Janis is sneakily staying in Cady and Regina’s room until their own break begins and then heading back with the two of them. They’re breaking a few campus rules, but nobody should have to know.

Regina meets her outside their dorm, which had taken Janis absolutely forever to find. She’d eventually had to stop and ask someone after Googling the name of it no fewer than seven times.

“Hey, art freak,” Regina greets, swiping her ID card to get into the building. Janis comes shuffling up in all her snow gear and lugging her suitcase behind her.

“Hey, Reginald,” Janis replies.

“Is that seriously still your contact name for me? You’ve had that since sixth grade,” Regina grumbles.

“You know it,” Janis says as they get into the rickety elevator. “I don’t like this.”

“It’s a little scary the first few times. You get used to it,” Regina shrugs. “Hasn’t fallen yet.”

“Oh, that fills me with so much confidence,” Janis grumbles under her breath.

“See? You survived,” Regina says. “This is it.” She pulls out a key and sticks it in the door, opening to a small room. Bunk beds, two desks, two dressers. That’s about it, but it’s been personalized with Cady and Regina’s own styles. It’s cute.

“Aww. Cute,” Janis grins. Cady has a bulletin board hung up over her desk, with her calendar and so many photos of all her friends and family pinned to it. The fifteenth has been decorated with several tiny hearts and exclamation points. Janis is also on the bulletin board most frequently, with Damian as a close second.

“Can I trust you alone here? I have a late class,” Regina says, grabbing her backpack and heading back towards the door. “Cady’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Yes, I can be trusted,” Janis groans. “Thanks, Reggie.”

“Stop calling me that!” Regina yells, already down the hall.

“Never!” Janis calls back. The door clicks shut after Regina, so Janis sets herself up for the surprise. She takes off her coat, sticking it and her suitcase under the bed and out of sight. It takes a bit of pushing, but eventually she makes it fit.

Then, she folds up the note she wrote and writes ‘Caddy’ on it with a heart and puts it on Cady’s desk for her to find, before deciding to hide in the nearby tiny storage closet. Regina said it would only be a few minutes, she can make it that long.

Janis grins widely as she hears her girlfriend in the hallway, trying not to make any noise from her hiding spot.

She peeks through the gap as Cady enters and takes off her coat. Cady suddenly notices the note on her desk. While she’s occupied reading it, Janis takes the time to step out and stand behind her. Cady reads the end and whirls around.

“Janis!” She yells, running to her and pitching herself into her arms. Janis stumbles back when her girlfriend rockets into her, but recovers quickly and holds her close. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t come back until next week!”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Janis chuckles. She hears Cady sniffle and feels tears soak into her shoulder. “Why are you crying?”

“I missed you so much,” Cady sobs. “You’re so much better than a pillow.”

“Aww, Peanut,” Janis coos. Her arms are getting a little tired, so she goes to sit on the bed. Regina technically has the bottom bunk, but she doesn’t have to know. Cady refuses to let her go, actually locking tighter around her now that they’re seated. “I missed you so, so much.”

Cady pulls back but doesn’t unlock herself, wiping her tears away and cupping Janis’ face. She stares intently at her and brushes her thumbs over her cheeks so softly.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispers. Suddenly she whacks Janis’ arm gently. “You stinker! You tricked me!”

“To surprise you, ow!” Janis laughs. “You seemed so sad, I figured this might cheer you up.”

“I haven’t seen you in five months, of course I’ve been sad,” Cady says quietly. “You’ve been here for so long and haven’t kissed me yet.”

Janis grins and pulls her in, tangling a hand in Cady’s hair and gripping her waist with the other. Cady runs her hands up and down Janis’ back before eventually settling on her shoulders. They both sigh in relief at the warmth of each other, finally feeling each other’s grip and the soft texture of one another’s lips.

“So much better than kissing a camera,” Janis mumbles happily.

“Definitely,” Cady giggles. “How long are you here?”

“I have to go back on the fourth, my classes start again on the sixth,” Janis shrugs. “We have almost a full month together.”

“Yay,” Cady says happily. “Does your family know you’re back?”

“No, I’m staying here until you guys go back. But they might find out before then, Dame already went back,” Janis shrugs.

“You criminal,” Cady gasps jokingly. “Staying here against the rules, how dare.”

“I know, it’s terribly scandalous,” Janis chuckles. She starts poking random places on Cady’s face gently, then follows them with kisses.

“What are you doing?” Cady giggles.

“Your freckles,” Janis says between little pecks. “I’m trying to memorize where they are, they don’t show up as well on camera.”

“Mm,” Cady hums in understanding. “Tickles.”

“Sorry,” Janis breathes. “What should we do?”

Cady pulls back and hauls Janis up with her, then crawls up onto her own bed. Janis comes up after her, having to be careful of bonking her head against the ceiling.

“Snuggles. Right now,” Cady demands, getting comfy on her side and reaching for her.

“Bossy,” Janis snorts, but obliges without complaint. She tucks herself against Cady’s chest and pulls herself closer. “This is a nice sweater.”

“Thanks, I just bought it the other day,” Cady chuckles in response. “Your hair is blue again.”

“I know, what do you think?” Janis asks, shaking it out gently so Cady can feel. “I had it green last week, I had to dye it back for you.”

Cady sticks her hands into it and fiddles with the ends happily. “It’s so soft!”

“Thanks,” Janis giggles at her reaction. “It’s basically colored conditioner, so it’s been doing me a lot of favors.”

Cady cuddles back in, but doesn’t take her hands out of her hair. “Do you have purple?”

“Yeah, I do,” Janis replies. “I’ll do that one next week, you wanna help?” Cady nods eagerly. “And your hair grew, you look cute.”

“Thanks!” Cady chirps happily. Her hair has grown out to her shoulders now, and is still as curly as ever. “God, I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I am too,” Janis grins. Cady squeals in surprise as she rolls over onto her back and pulls Cady on top of her. “How’s my math genius been doing here?”

Cady smiles against her neck. “As good as I can without you. I think I’m most of my professors’ favorite student. Oh, and I had a meeting with my advisor the other day, and they said I’m still on track to graduate after next year.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Janis grins happily, running her fingers through Cady’s curls. She still uses the cherry shampoo. “I’m surprised your head hasn’t exploded yet. How do you have room for all those brains?”

Cady chuckles again and leans up on her elbows. “You’re one to talk. So many art techniques rattling around in there.”

“And very little else,” Janis replies. Cady flicks her ear gently.

“You’re brilliant, shush your face,” she frowns.

“Make me,” Janis teases.

“Happily,” Cady smirks, leaning down to press their lips together again.

————-

On Christmas Eve, Cady sneaks out of her house and over to Janis’. She left her parents a note and sets an alarm so she can be back in time for presents anyway.

Janis doesn’t have a tree she can climb, so she picks up all the little pebbles she finds on the way to pitch at her window instead. Cady could just text to wake her up, but this is more romantic.

It only takes four rocks for Janis’ face to appear in the window, bleary eyes looking out into the yard to see who’s out there. She grins happily when she sees Cady and disappears suddenly to go let her in.

“What are you doing here?” She murmurs when she has her back in her arms.

“It’s Christmas,” Cady shrugs. “Or nearly, anyway. All I want is to be with you, and you’re close enough now that I can.”

“No, I appreciate that,” Janis replies, scooping her up and carrying her inside. “But it’s, like, ten degrees outside and you’re just in your pajamas and you also walked over here alone at night.”

“You don’t live that far,” Cady shrugs, but now that Janis brings it up she is absolutely freezing.

“It’s a ten minute walk, Butterfly,” Janis chuckles. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Cady yawns when Janis carries her past the stairs and down the hall.

“I can feel you shivering, let’s go have hot chocolate,” Janis responds, shifting her grip and then resting her on the counter.

“Oh,” Cady says happily. “Okay.”

Janis pours some milk into mugs and puts them in the microwave, then returns to her girlfriend. Cady grins as Janis cups her face and leans in, wrapping her legs around Janis’ waist and pulling her closer. They lose themselves in the bliss of one another, in kiss after kiss.

Until the microwave beeps and Janis has to scramble to stop it before it wakes up her family. She manages after just two beeps, Cady giggling quietly from her perch on the counter as she removes the warm mugs and adds in the cocoa, then a touch of cinnamon and some marshmallows. She puts crushed candy canes in her own, leaving Cady’s plain since she hates mint.

“Thank you, my love,” Cady says when Janis passes hers over, cradling the toasty drink in both hands and taking a small sip. It almost burns her tongue, but she’s so cold from her journey over that it actually feels nice. Janis pops up on the counter next to her and leans her head on her shoulder.

Cady laces their fingers together and leans her head against Janis’ with a few gentle kisses to her hair. They both take small sips of their tasty drinks, feeling the peace of the holiday as they’re alone together in a dark kitchen in the middle of the night.

“Merry Christmas, Peanut,” Janis murmurs when the clock on the stove hits midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Jayjay,” Cady mutters back. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janis says, finishing off her cocoa. Cady downs the rest of hers and hands her mug over, then clings to Janis as she comes to scoop her back off the counter.

“Surprised you made it up this late,” Janis murmurs. “Midnight’s impressive for you.”

“I know,” Cady yawns. “You make good hot chocolate. ‘M sleepy.”

“Thank you,” Janis chuckles. She rests Cady on her bed and crawls in after her, grinning happily when her girlfriend latches back onto her like an adorable octopus. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

“Night night, Bluejay,” Cady mumbles back, drifting off almost immediately in her girlfriend’s warm embrace.

————-

The next afternoon, they meet at Cady’s house to do their gift exchange with Damian. Janis had driven Cady back home in the wee hours of the morning, so their families were none the wiser that they had spent the night together.

Damian opens his presents first, getting a signed Cabaret playbill from Janis and several new pairs of fun socks for his collection from Cady.

Janis goes next. Damian got her some new jackets to customize (to make up for the one sacrificed to make Cady’s special cuddle cushion). Cady’s gift is smaller, and Janis opens a fancy box to reveal a charm bracelet.

It’s mostly empty, but there’s one fancy-looking gem and one half of a heart, similar to the split necklaces she has with Damian.

“I know it’s not really your style,” Cady says nervously. “But I figured you could fill it up however you want. And you don’t have to wear it. I have the other heart charm, I just have to find something to put it on.”

“I’ll wear it forever, back off,” Janis says protectively, fastening it around her wrist. “I love it.”

“Oh, good,” Cady breathes. It’s finally her turn to open her own presents. Damian surprises her with her plane ticket to New York to stay with them for spring break. “No way!”

“You said you wanted to come see New York,” Janis responds with a giggle as Cady tackles Damian in a hug. He hugs her tightly for a while before letting her go to open her present from Janis.

Once again, it seems that Janis and Cady have had similar ideas. “Chains?” Cady asks confusedly.

“For your necklace,” Janis replies. “For Rhys. You can try them all and figure out which ones you can handle, there’s a bunch of different ones. And if none of them work then I’ll take you to the shop when you come visit us and you can pick some to try.”

Cady has two very important necklaces that she can’t wear due to the chains. One is a locket containing some of her brother’s ashes, and the other is a charm with his thumbprint etched into it. Janis figured she can move both charms to one chain once they figure out which one she can use.

Janis frowns in concern when she sees her girlfriend’s eyes brimming with tears, but Cady just rockets herself into her arms and kisses her neck a few times.

“Thank you,” she chokes softly. “So much.”

“Of course, baby. I know how bad you want to wear them, we’ll figure out a way for you to,” Janis murmurs in reply, holding her close.

Cady reaches for Damian too, so he comes over and squishes both of them in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas,” Cady says quietly.

“Merry Christmas!” Damian cheers. “I love you guys.”

“Oh! That reminds me!” Cady says suddenly, wiggling her way out of the cuddle and running to turn the lights off. They’re illuminated only by the lights on the tree until Cady grabs her phone and turns on the flashlight. “Gimme your wrist, Jay.”

Janis reaches the one with the bracelet over to her in confusion. Cady spins it until the charm with the gem is found, then presses the light to the underside.

“Whoa,” Janis whispers. The dark walls are now illuminated with writing in several languages. She looks around until she finds one she recognizes.

“It says ‘I love you’ in a bunch of different languages,” Cady says just as she finds English. “Here, hold it.”

Janis takes the light and continues holding it to the gem, and Cady runs to the wall to point out all the languages. “It’s technically from China, so they might not be perfect. But this is Spanish, ‘Te quiero’, and this is Swahili,” she says excitedly, having to stand on her tippy toes to reach it. “‘Nakupenda’, and over here is Swedish, ‘Jag älskar dig’.”

She continues running around and pointing to them all excitedly, having to jump to reach certain ones or stand on her tippy toes for others. Janis is amazed that she can recognize and pronounce them all, even the languages she doesn’t speak.

Cady turns the lights back on and sits back down once all of them have been pointed out. Damian and Janis had just let her have at it. It’s quite entertaining, watching her run around and chatter about one of her interests.

“Thanks, babe,” Janis chuckles as a panting Cady plops down in between them. “That’s really sweet. And your explanation was very informative.”

“Thank you,” Cady puffs. “Now, what Christmas movies are you going to introduce me to this year?”

Damian’s eyes suddenly light up and he gasps dramatically. “We never did Elf!”

“Fuck!” Janis says when she remembers that unfortunate fact. “Cads, come on, we have to do this now. This is vital.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles, moving them to the couch. She hands Damian the remote and Janis the blankets so they can get everything ready, then heads into the kitchen herself to get their munchies.

She comes back to a full-on blanket fort and a movie waiting for them, handing over the towering plate of cookies and mugs of hot chocolate. Janis pulls her in close and cuddles Cady between herself and Damian.

Best Christmas yet, Cady thinks to herself as the movie begins.

————-

In January, Janis and Damian are officially returned to New York and Cady heads back to school.

Two weeks in, she catches a miserable cold. Apparently it circulates every year, known as the college plague. Regina let her have the dorm room and was spending the nights with friends so she could avoid it as much as possible.

Cady doesn’t want to let Janis know she’s sick, so she hauls herself out of her bed and down to the desk for their weekly Facetime date. Seeing Janis will make her feel better anyway.

“Hey, Peanut,” Janis says happily as soon as her girlfriend comes into view on screen, but it quickly turns into a frown. Cady is bundled in Damian’s blue hoodie, and already wearing her glasses instead of contacts. Janis can also see her bed is unmade and covered with tissues, and spies a bottle of medicine off to the side.

“Hi, Jay,” Cady says, trying to keep the slight croak out of her pained voice. “How are you?”

“Absolutely not,” Janis says. “Go get in bed.”

“What?” Cady says confusedly. “Why?”

“Baby, I can tell you’re miserable, go get in bed,” Janis insists. “Talk to me there, you should be lying down.”

“I’m fine,” Cady says. Janis raises an eyebrow. “Ugh, okay.”

Cady unplugs the computer rests it on her bed, plugging it back into the other outlet before she crawls back into bed. Janis was right, being in bed is much better. She props herself up on her pillows and covers herself with her blanket, then rests the computer with Janis still watching in concern on her lap.

“Much better,” Janis smiles. “What did you catch, Butterfly?”

“It’s just a cold,” Cady says with a sniffle. “I’ll be fine in a couple days.”

Janis pouts. “Poor Peanut. Have you eaten? And are you drinking water?”

Cady holds up her water bottle. “Yes, of course. I haven’t eaten dinner yet, but it’s fine. I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Okay,” Janis says. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, love,” Cady says. Suddenly, she sneezes violently a couple times. Janis chuckles, she’s always found Cady’s sneezes adorable. Cady pouts as she blows her nose. “Don’ laugh a’ me.”

“Sorry, Butterfly,” Janis says. “You should rest, baby.”

“No,” Cady frowns. “Don’t hang up, I’m fine.”

“I won’t,” Janis says. “If you’re sure you’re okay.”

Cady nods. “How has your week been?”

“Good, actually,” Janis says a bit quieter. She has a sneaky plan to get Cady to rest. Cady loves her voice, so if she just keeps talking, maybe she’ll go to sleep. “My new portrait professor is really funny, and he makes everything so easy to understand.”

“Good,” Cady grins.

“Yeah, he’s really nice,” Janis says. “And he’s gay, he’s got a husband and kids. He always draws one of them whenever he has to do a model or give an example, it’s really cute.”

“Aww,” Cady says, trying to hide a yawn. Janis has noticed she’s sliding down her pillows slightly and definitely noticed the stifled yawn. Cady rests the laptop next to her and turns onto her side, taking her glasses off and cuddling in with her blankets. Nearly there.

“And I got a new assignment to draw more natural stuff from one of my other classes, so Damian and I have been going to Central Park a lot,” Janis continues, grinning as Cady’s eyes start to flutter shut. “It’s cold, but it’s really pretty all covered in snow and stuff. Hopefully everything will be green by the time you’re here, though.”

Cady grins a little at the reminder that they’ll be back together in March, and that she gets to see New York for the first time ever. She doesn’t say anything, just continues letting Janis talk and lull her to sleep.

Janis continues rambling about all her art and what she and Damian have been up to until she sees Cady’s eyes flutter shut and her chest begin to rise and fall evenly. She’s snoring ever so gently, since she’s so congested from her cold.

Janis did promise not to hang up, so she reaches to grab her sketchbook. Cady snoozes and Janis sketches her, penciling in all her freckles and stroking out her long eyelashes as they rest on her cheeks.

Cady still hasn’t woken up after a rather long time, even when Janis finishes drawing her messy curls and shading her red nose. Janis sends a text to Regina asking her to drop some food off for Cady, and then unfortunately has to hang up.

“Sleep well, Peanut,” she whispers. “I love you.”

She shoots Cady a text for her to find when she wakes up and closes the screen.

————-

In February, Cady’s birthday comes around. All she really wants is some cuddles from Janis and Damian, but it’s just unreasonable to expect them to come back for one day.

Instead, she’s surprised to open the door to her dorm room and find it completely covered in balloons and streamers. Regina fires off a rather large confetti cannon as soon as she enters, making them both shriek in surprise at the loud bang and entirely too much confetti rain down from the ceiling. A few pieces actually get stuck hanging from it, or lost in lampshades.

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Regina calls once they’ve both recovered. “Shit.”

“Regina, oh my god,” Cady laughs, pointing to a completely busted ceiling lamp. “This is… wow.”

“Janis did it,” Regina shrugs. “I blame her.”

“Sorry!” A voice rings out from the desk. “I didn’t read the measurements right. Turns out that size is for outdoor use only.”

“Hey, love!” Cady laughs, coming to greet her girlfriend on Facetime. “Thanks for the rest of it! But now we have to pay for that light.”

“I’ll get that too, it’s my bad,” Janis winces. “Happy birthday, baby!”

“Thanks,” Cady says. “Oh, hi Damian!”

“Hey, Caddy,” Damian greets, leaning in next to Janis. There’s a bowl of what looks suspiciously like popcorn on his lap. “Happy birthday, I miss you!”

“I miss you too, D,” Cady says. “One more month!”

“Yeah!” He cheers, leaning back over to his spot.

“Okay, go get comfy,” Regina demands, pointing to her bed.

“What’s happening?” Cady asks confusedly, but listens, going to grab her blanket and a pillow and getting into Regina’s bunk.

“Movie night, duh,” Regina says. “Here.” She hands the laptop over to Cady and grabs a bowl of snacks Cady hadn’t seen before, then crawls into the bed next to her.

Cady rests the laptop between them so they can both see the movie and their friends. Suddenly, another call comes in. “Oh, yay!” Cady answers it and smiles as Karen comes onto the screen. She’s still in Evanston, attending the local community college and working part time.

“Happy birthday, Cady! Cake emoji!” Karen says happily.

“Thanks, Karen!” Cady responds. Then, yet another call comes in. “No way.”

Gretchen is all the way in France, studying fashion at one of the most elite schools there.

“Oh my god, Gretch, hi!” Cady says. Gretchen looks very tired, but smiles when she sees her friends and girlfriend. Janis is only a few states away from Cady, she can’t imagine what it must be like for Gretchen and Karen trying to do long-distance from different continents.

“Hey, Cady lady! Happy birthday,” Gretchen says softly so she doesn’t wake up her roommates.

“This is crazy,” Cady says happily. Janis really went all out setting it up.

“Happy birthday, baby. What movie do you want to watch?” Janis asks, grinning at her girlfriend’s happy smile.

Cady looks sheepish. “The Lion King?”

Everyone laughs, knowing her well. Janis pulls it up on the shared screen so they can all watch at the same time. “Of course you do. Here we go.”

Cady cuddles in with her blanket and munches happily on her snacks. It’s a perfect evening, and she can’t wait to see all her friends in person again soon.

—————

Juliana’s birthday is the day before Cady flies to New York. Julie has kept her updated on how school has been going and what life is like in Evanston, but they haven’t seen each other in person since January.

So, Cady drives home to surprise her. Turning twelve is a very important occasion. She talks with Janis on the phone as she makes the rather long drive back to her hometown.

She switches to Facetime Janis as she pulls onto the correct street and puts the car in park. Julie deserves to see her sister’s face, even if they can’t be together in person.

Damian pops up as well. He might as well be their brother anyway, he’s so close with both of them. Cady grins as she knocks on the door. It’s different, knowing Janis isn’t going to be there, but she’s still excited to see Juliana.

“Cady!” Julie yells happily as she opens the door. Cady grunts slightly as she hugs her. Julie is officially taller than her now at 5’4”, much to Cady‘s chagrin.

“Hey, kiddo! Happy birthday,” Cady greets as Julie squeezes her tightly. “Oh, here, I forgot your present in the car.”

She hands over her phone so Janis can talk to her sister, smiling as she hears Janis yell a very loud happy birthday over the speakers. Julie laughs and continues talking to Janis and Damian while Cady grabs a gift bag from the car.

“Okay, this is technically from all three of us, Janis and Damian sent me their parts of it,” Cady says, handing the bag over and taking her phone back so Janis and Damian can see Julie open it.

Julie tears into it quickly, removing the tissue paper and pulling out a jacket like Janis’, a few starter paints, and some patches. She’s always wanted to be like Janis, so they all got her a jacket of her own to decorate however she wants. Janis bought the jacket itself, Damian got the patches, and Cady bought the paint set.

Julie gasps excitedly when she sees everything all together. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

Cady laughs as she runs to hug her again, and hears similar reactions from Janis and Damian through the speakers. “You’re welcome, Jules. What do you want to do now?”

“Cake,” Julie says instantly. She and Janis are remarkably similar sometimes. “Janny, it’s chocolate, should I save you some?”

Cady watches Janis process that and try to hide the tears pricking her eyes. She won’t be back in Illinois to see her sister until May, even if they freeze the cake it’ll be nearly inedible by the time she could.

“Nah, Jules, it’s fine,” Janis replies as Julie leads Cady into the house. “You eat my piece too and then we’ll buy another one when I come back.”

“Okay,” Julie giggles.

Everyone sings her happy birthday after their mom lights the candles, and Julie blows them out happily. Cady hears Janis sing extra loudly, both to beat out Damian and to make sure Juliana could still hear her.

Janis stays on the phone with them for the rest of the day, there in spirit to help Julie decide what to put on her jacket and where, and also when Cady takes her out for ice cream for dinner. As the sun sets Juliana remarks that she had even more fun today than when she got to go bowling with her friends the evening before.

Cady does eventually have to both hang up on her girlfriend and get back to her own house so she can prepare for her trip the next day. Julie hugs her tightly before she can leave.

“Thank you for coming,” she says quietly.

“Of course,” Cady replies. “I think of you as my sister too. I’ll always come for your birthdays.”

Juliana clings to her a little tighter at that, and Cady squeezes her back before she does actually have to let go and leave. Cady is glad to have a sibling in some form again.

—————

Cady wakes up entirely too early the next morning, excited to see her girlfriend again for the first time since January. Her flight doesn’t leave for another six hours or so, so she has some time to kill.

She double checks she has everything packed in her suitcase and that all her tickets are in order, makes her bed extra carefully, and then heads to find some breakfast downstairs.

Cady can barely focus enough to make cereal, she’s so excited at the prospect of seeing both Janis and New York City. Her parents come down as she’s cleaning up after herself, so she decides to catch up with them for a while.

After several rounds of Guitar Hero, her dad reminds her of her flight and she rushes back upstairs to get ready.

Cady flies through taking a shower, brushing her hair and teeth, and putting on some comfy travel clothes before she grabs her bags and runs back downstairs. Her parents chuckle at her eagerness and lead her to the car to drop her off.

She hugs them goodbye before she has to pass through security, and then she’s off on her little adventure.

Janis texts her as she waits at the gate for her flight to be called to board. It’s a video of her trying to haul Damian out of bed and him moaning that it’s a ‘holy day’ and demanding more sleep.

She giggles quietly at her friends’ antics and smiles when she remembers she’ll be able to hug them in just a few hours. Cady sends back a message telling Janis to leave Damian alone to sleep and another excited message telling her she can’t wait to hug and kiss her again.

Janis texts back the same and tells her she’ll be waiting (hopefully with Damian, but that remains to be seen) at the airport with all the cuddles and kisses they’ve been lacking for the last two months.

Three hours later she’s officially in a different state, and in a different time zone, and in her girlfriend’s arms. Cady’s bags wait on the carousel as she clings tightly to Janis and kisses all over her face. They get a few strange looks, but neither of them really care.

Damian did end up coming, so Cady hugs him tightly as well. He kindly takes her suitcase out to their Uber so Cady can hold hands with both of them instead.

Janis smiles when she sees the necklace Cady has on, containing both her charms for her brother. She’d tried all the chains for a week, and found one with smaller links that was the least aggravating. After a bit of practice, she can wear it all day now. Her goal now is to find a bracelet she can wear to put her half-heart charm on to match Janis’.

—————-

Janis unlocks the door to their apartment for them and leads Cady in to show her around. It’s rather small, but has an impressive two bedrooms. Cady likes it, it’s very cozy.

She especially likes Janis’ bedroom, which has been personalized wall to wall. She put paper on the walls and painted over that, intricate murals of all sorts of patterns and colors and textures. Her familiar black bedsheets don the bed, and Cady smiles when she sees her Mathletes jacket covering a pillow that Janis cuddles.

Janis flops down onto it and reaches for her actual girlfriend, so Cady cuddles into her happily.

“I love it here already,” she says quietly, nuzzling into Janis’ neck and fiddling with her pink-tipped hair. “You look good with pink hair.”

“You think?” Janis responds. “I was kind of scared to try it, actually. Damian made me do it.”

“Yes! You look good in pink, I keep trying to tell you,” Cady giggles. “Maybe I should dye mine.”

“No,” Janis whines, fiddling with Cady’s curls. “I love your hair.”

Cady grins at her. “Not even like you do? Don’t you think I’d look fun with, like, purple hair for a couple days?”

Janis ponders that, looking at her girlfriend to analyze. “Maybe. If you really want to. I do think you’d look good, I just love you as a redhead.”

“Thank you,” Cady smiles. “I love you in every color.”

“You’re so sappy,” Janis groans, but she’s smiling happily too. “I missed you.”

“I missed you so much,” Cady replies quietly. “I can’t wait for summer.”

“Two more months,” Janis agrees. “Then we have so many movie nights and cuddle sessions to make up for.”

Cady smiles again and cuddles back into Janis’ shoulder. “I can’t wait. I’ve missed in-person movie nights.”

“I have too. It’s not the same without you attached to my arm like an octopus when we watch scary movies,” Janis teases. “Or without you trying to steal my popcorn.”

“Our popcorn, excuse you,” Cady retaliates. “I get girlfriend privileges. If we’re watching scary movies it’s our arm and our popcorn.”

Janis laughs at that and rolls onto her side so they can face each other. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Cady replies, inching closer and leaning in for kisses. Janis rests a hand on her cheek and responds in kind, running her tongue gently over her bottom lip and pulling her closer when Cady gasps quietly.

After a while, neither of them is sure how long exactly, Cady pulls back abruptly with a gasp.

“What happened?” Janis asks in concern.

“Our anniversary,” Cady says. “It’s been a year, on my birthday.”

“Oh, yeah,” Janis says. “I was more focused on the birthday, I totally forgot.”

“So did I,” Cady chuckles. “Well, we can celebrate now.”

“Yeah we can,” Janis purrs, rolling to pin Cady underneath her and pressing their lips together again. She hopes Damian took a hint and went out somewhere.

—————-

The next day, Janis and Damian show Cady around the city. Janis shows her the local jewelry store and helps Cady pick a charm bracelet chain to try, and then Damian takes them to the Broadway area to look around.

“Wow,” Cady says in awe at all the bright colors and big signs. It’s strange to think that all the bootlegs she’s watched with Damian over the years were filmed in these buildings. “It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it just?” Damian sighs dramatically. “Oh, that reminds me. I have a very, very late birthday present for you, Cads.”

“Aww, really?” Cady asks. Janis raises a suspicious eyebrow. A present this late is almost sure to have some sort of selfish motivation behind it.

“Um… I might have impulse bought three tickets to Wicked,” he says sheepishly. “Surprise!”

“No way!” Cady calls and leaps into his arms. She’s aware of its reputation as one of the more ‘basic’ musicals out there, but it is still one of her favorites. Janis seems kind of excited as well, though she loathes musicals. “When is it?”

“A few hours, we have a little bit of time to kill,” Damian responds. “We should eat first, anyway.”

Cady refuses to let him go, so Damian carries her piggyback to their favorite sandwich place that he and Janis had discovered while they were lost one night. Neither of them are still totally sure how it happened since the streets are numbered, but Janis wasn’t particularly surprised, knowing their math skills, even combined, are rather sub-par.

—————-

Several hours later, they’re in the theater and ready to watch the show. Cady is shaking with excitement, looking around in awe at the set and all the lights. Their seats aren’t very close to the stage, but Cady is excited that she can see the whole thing at once.

Janis squeezes her hand and smiles affectionately at her girlfriend’s joy. Damian grabs Janis’ bag and passes out the snacks he’d managed to smuggle in. Cady offers Janis some of her Sour Patch Kids, which Janis takes. In return, Cady gets a few Milk Duds.

Cady leans onto her shoulder as the opening music starts, and stays there for the whole first act. Janis can feel every smile and hear every gasp or reaction to the events on stage. Janis is rather shocked herself, having somehow never seen the show. She’s quite frightened when they finally get to Defying Gravity and Elphaba is suddenly at their eye level.

Cady buys them all matching t-shirts from the merch area after the show, still vibrating with the adrenaline. Janis is pouting, making Cady frown.

“What’s the matter? Didn’t you have fun?” She asks sadly, wrapping her arms around Janis’ neck. Janis holds onto her waist while Damian heads off to take pictures of everything.

“I did,” Janis responds. “I just really thought Elphaba and Glinda would end up together.”

“Oh,” Cady laughs. “I did too, honestly. Fiyero isn’t bad, though. He’s cute.”

“You’d make a good Galinda,” Janis murmurs, leaning down for a quick kiss.

“And you would make a great Elphie,” Cady says, kissing her back.

“You really think I could sing like that?” Janis chuckles. “I don’t think I could handle being up so high.”

“You have a beautiful voice, of course you could,” Cady says. “And she’s fastened in, you wouldn’t fall.”

“Still, did you see how high they go? And you’d be in the bubble,” Janis mumbles with an anxious shudder. “Maybe for Halloween.”

Cady grins back. “Yeah, that’d be better. Then you can stay on the ground.”

“Humans aren’t supposed to be up that high!” Janis insists. “I’m the normal one here for once.”

“I never said you weren’t,” Cady giggles at her reaction. “Come on, let’s go find Damian.”

Janis pouts but follows as Cady hauls her around by the hand.

—————-

Janis and Damian drop Cady off at the airport again at the end of the week. Cady has an extra suitcase now, to carry all of her treasures she’s acquired in the city.

They all cling to one another desperately before Cady has to pass through security. Damian heads to a vending machine to give Cady and Janis some alone time.

They’re both already crying slightly, sniffling into each other’s shoulders. A single week together isn’t nearly enough time.

“It’s just two more months,” Cady whispers. “We’ve made it this far, we can do it again.”

“But I don’t want to do it again,” Janis whimpers. “I want to be with you.”

“I know, love. So do I,” Cady sniffles. “We’ll have the whole summer together. We can do it.”

“Summer,” Janis repeats to comfort herself. It feels years away. “God, I thought this was supposed to get easier.”

“I don’t think it ever will,” Cady chuckles sardonically. “Kiss me.”

Janis obliges, tugging Cady in by the waist as Cady cups her cheeks. She tries to memorize the cherry scent of her hair, and the artificial watermelon taste of her chapstick that still lingers. Neither of them care that they’re making out in an incredibly crowded airport, or that they’re getting strange looks. They need this moment.

“Two months,” Janis whispers when they break apart.

“Two months,” Cady repeats. They’ve already done their calendars for the next few months, and heavily decorated the day Janis and Damian would be flying back for the summer. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Janis sniffs.

“I love you most,” Cady murmurs, tipping her face back up for more kisses.

Damian comes back after another couple minutes and gives a cough to announce his return, so they break apart regretfully. Cady heads to cling to him, and he holds her just as tight.

“Bye, Little Slice,” he says sadly. Cady squishes her face against his chest to hide her tears.

“Bye, D,” she whispers back. “I’ll see you in May.”

Janis presses against her back so Cady is totally pinned between her art freaks. They stay like that until the last possible minute, but Cady does still have a flight home to catch.

She heads through security and blows them kisses from the other side, which they return before they head to leave.

Two months.

——————

Cady and Janis talk every day, and still have their weekly Facetime dates. They text in between classes and call to chat as they study for finals.

Until Cady doesn’t answer the phone one day.

Janis tries not to worry. She knows that it’s Cady’s last week to prepare, and that she has good reason to be stressed. But Cady’s never ignored her calls or messages before.

Janis tries not to bother her, only leaving one voicemail and trying to limit the amount of texts she sends.

She smiles when a call from Cady finally comes through, but it quickly fades when she picks up. Apparently she hadn’t been restrained enough for Cady’s taste.

“Janis, what do you want? My exams are next week, I have to study,” Cady huffs.

Janis is confused, she just wanted to check in. “I just… wanted to talk to you. I miss you.”

“Janis, these are important,” Cady growls in retaliation. “I miss you too, but god.”

“If that’s how it is,” Janis replies quietly. “Then I’ll leave you alone.” She hangs up and turns her phone to silent, plopping it into her nightstand drawer before turning away from it and crying into her pillow.

Damian wakes her up a few hours later, she must have drifted off. “I made dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” Janis whispers back, not even turning to look at him. “I’ll eat later.”

“No you fucking will not, what happened?” Damian demands, flicking on her light and coming into her bed with her.

“Nothing happened, I’m just not hungry,” Janis insists, turning to squish her face into her pillow so he can’t see the tear tracks. He isn’t fooled, hauling her up by the back of her shirt like a mama cat grabs a kitten. “Hey!”

He rests her down once she’s upright and looks at her face. “You’ve been crying. What happened?”

Janis falls apart with one look into his eyes, bursting into heartbroken tears again. Damian pulls her in for a hug and waits for an explanation.

She’s crying too hard and doesn’t want to give details, so she just sobs out a “Cady.” and hopes he can piece together what he needs to.

“Did you have a fight?” He asks gently. Janis nods and cries harder into his chest. “Okay, shh. We’ll work it out.”

Janis cries herself to sleep again, somehow, so Damian tucks her in and heads back to the kitchen. He can’t believe he’s even considering the possibility, but maybe Regina can help.

damecupboard: Hey Reggie

georgewashington: Hey, Damian. What’s up?

damecupboard: Has Caddy said anything about Janis? Or been acting weird?

georgewashington: Janis, no. Acting weird, definitely. She’s been super on edge the last couple days. She yelled at me for breathing too loud while she was trying to study.

damecupboard: Jesus

damecupboard: She and Janis had a fight, Janis is messed up. She’s cried herself to sleep twice today already

georgewashington: I’m not surprised they fought. I don’t think Cady’s slept in three days. Poor Janis.

damecupboard: This isn’t like her, can you try to talk to her?

georgewashington: Uh. I can try, but it’s kind of like volunteering to enter a cage with a hungry lion.

damecupboard: Just try to ask her what’s going on but don’t make it obvious

georgewashington: Got it.

Damian bites his thumbnail anxiously while he waits for Regina to answer again. It’s not until nearly ten minutes later that his text tone pings off again.

georgewashington: Well. I think our whole building knows she’s on edge now, but in between yelling things I couldn’t understand she kept talking about getting into a good grad school and mentioning Janis.

damecupboard: Huh. She can totally get into a good school on her own, these aren’t that important

georgewashington: I’m worried about her, she really hasn’t slept in a few days. And she barely eats. All she does is study.

damecupboard: Yeah, yelling at you guys really isn’t like her. If I get Janis to, can you try to get her into a “movie night”? I think if they can see each other and talk it’ll help

georgewashington: You’re really just gonna sacrifice me like that huh.

georgewashington: I’ll try. Six your time, get Janis and call. If we don’t pick up she has actually murdered me for even asking.

damecupboard: Got it. Sorry, Reggie

damecupboard: I’ll make them buy you flowers

georgewashington: I like poppies.

Damian chuckles at her response and goes to wake up Janis again. He frowns when he finds her clinging to her pillow with Cady’s mathletes jacket covering it.

“Janjan, come on, your food is getting cold,” he says quietly, shaking her awake again. “You gotta come eat and then you can go back to bed.”

Janis just groans and turns to lie on her belly.

“You know full well I will haul your ass out of bed myself, come eat,” Damian insists, clapping his hands to try and get her to move.

“Can’t I just eat in here? And be sad?” Janis asks pitifully, poking out one chocolate brown eye to blink at him sadly.

“No.”

“Why?” Janis groans.

“Because I’m lonely, you have to keep me company,” Damian lies. “It’s your legal obligation as my roommate. It was in the papers we had to sign.”

Not even a chuckle. “Entertain yourself.”

Damian grabs her ankle and starts dragging her out of bed. Janis doesn’t resist but also doesn’t get up. “Come on.”

“No,” she whines, reaching for her blanket. She gives an “Oof!” as she thuds to the ground, but lets him continue to drag her out of the room and into the kitchen.

Damian allows her to stay on the ground, resting her plate of food on her chest and dragging her over to the couch. Janis pouts at him from the ground, so he removes the plate and helps her up, then hands it back.

She eats slowly, and leans on his shoulder with a sad sigh once her last bite is gone. He pulls her close and looks to the clock, it’s nearly six.

“What are you doing?” Janis asks confusedly when he reaches for his laptop and rests it on the coffee table in front of them.

“Nothing,” Damian replies quickly, but she can see him open Facetime and click through to Regina’s contact.

“Damian, no, I don’t wanna see them,” Janis whines. The call goes through regardless and catches Cady mid-very loud sentence.

“I told you, I don’t have time for a movie! God, what is with you people? First Janis, now you?!” She yells, presumably at Regina who’s just offscreen. Janis is suddenly confronted with the memory of their very short phone call, and some more unpleasant ones from their high school days. She feels herself sniffle and let out a sob into Damian’s shoulder, making Cady suddenly snap her head to look at the screen.

“Hey,” Damian greets with a wave, as if he hasn’t just witnessed the terrifying display of Cady-rage on screen and doesn’t have a very upset Janis weeping into his shoulder. “How’s it going?”

Cady suddenly looks very sheepish. She frowns when she sees Janis crying quietly.

“Cady. Talk to them.” Regina demands. Cady’s bottom lip starts trembling and she suddenly bursts into tears as well.

“God, I’m so sorry,” she sobs. “I’ve… I’ve been such a bitch, I’m so sorry. Janis.”

Janis looks up when she hears her girlfriend start crying, still instinctively wanting to comfort her even though she’s distraught herself. Damian pats her shoulder comfortingly to try and get her to talk.

“What is going on with you?” Janis asks. It sounds more rude than she wants it to, but it’ll do.

“Jay, I’m so sorry,” Cady sobs. “I’ve been… I’m trying to study as much as I can. If I don’t pass then I might-I might get bumped back a semester, or I won’t get into grad school. I-I have to pass, I have to do well enough. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Why are you so worried about this?” Janis asks quietly with a shaky sniffle. “You’ll pass.”

Cady starts crying harder at the question. “Because if I don’t I might never see you again,” she wails rapidly.

“Whoa, what?” Janis says. “What are you talking about?”

“If I don’t pass I won’t get into grad school and then I won’t be smart enough for you and-and I’m trying to get into schools in New York so I can be close to you but if I don’t then we have to keep doing this and I don’t want you to leave me,” Cady sobs. “But now I fucked everything up and got mad at you and you might anyway!”

Janis suddenly realizes this goes a lot deeper than she thought, and Janis didn’t actually have anything to do with her outburst at all. Damian leaves suddenly to give them some privacy, and she hears the door to Cady’s dorm click shut through the speakers, signaling Regina has done the same.

“Caddy, hey,” Janis says as Cady has her face buried in her arms at her desk. “When was the last time you slept?”

Cady peeks up at her and chokes out more sobs. “I don’t know. I think Tuesday.”

“And when was the last time you ate?” Janis asks quietly.

“Lunch, a while ago,” Cady sobs again.

“Baby, this isn’t healthy,” Janis says. “You can’t do this to yourself.”

“But I have to study, Jay, I have so much to-“

“No,” Janis insists. “You don’t. You’re burning yourself out. You haven’t slept in four days, and Regina just told me that ‘lunch’ you ate was yesterday. You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep going like this.”

“No, I have to-“

“Cady Jane Heron, listen to me,” Janis demands loudly. Cady snaps her head up and looks at the screen almost in fear. “I love you. I love you more than anything in this fucking world put together. I’m not going to break up with you because you don’t get into a grad school. I don’t care how smart you are. I love that you’re brilliant because it’s part of who you are, but if that changes it doesn’t change you. Or how much I love you. And we’ve made it this long being apart, I can handle a little bit longer for you to try again or figure out what else you want to do. All I care about right now is you being okay and still loving me at the end of the day.”

Cady dissolves into heavy sobs, burying her face in her arms again. “I’m not okay, Jay.”

“I know, baby. I know,” Janis says. “We’ll work on it. For now, go get in bed. I’ll have Regina bring you something to eat.”

Cady nods and unplugs the computer, climbing up into her unmade bed and crying gently against her pillows. Janis texts Regina and asks her to grab something quick for Cady to eat and letting her know Cady is sure to give a very long and tearful apology for her behavior.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Jay,” Cady mumbles in the meantime. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not gonna say it’s okay,” Janis replies. “But I understand. But you can’t do this again. You have to tell someone if you’re feeling like this, and I’m gonna get Reggie to watch you a little closer for a while. I love you.”

“Okay,” Cady sniffles. “I love you too.”

She perks up when Regina comes back with some soup from the dining hall, and starts sobbing again. Janis lets her apologize to Regina and waits for her to come back on screen.

Cady says her apologies several times over, and Janis can see Regina hug her begrudgingly from the edge of the screen. Now that she’s gotten her apologies in order, Cady gradually calms down, taking some deep breaths in between spoonfuls of her soup. It’s warm and filling, and she drifts off just after the last bite passes her lips.

Regina grabs the laptop and empty tray from her lap. Cady turns onto her side, deeply asleep.

“Fucking hell,” Regina murmurs under her breath. “I’ve never seen her like that, that was scary.”

“You’re telling me,” Janis jokes weakly. “Can you make sure she showers and eats again whenever she wakes up? And don’t let her study for a while?”

“Sure, I’ll hide her books,” Regina says, marking Cady’s pages and places with bookmarks before she carefully stashes them all in one of her own dresser drawers.

“Thanks,” Janis chuckles. “Let me know if anything happens.”

“Got it,” Regina replies. “Later, art freak.”

“Bye, Barbie.”

Janis closes the screen with a heavy sigh and leans her head into her hands as Damian enters again. “Everything sorted?”

“For now,” Janis sighs. “Fuck, D.”

“I know,” Damian comforts. “She’ll be okay. And now you know you can handle conflict from different states, that’s a plus.”

Janis is very glad she still has a girlfriend by the end of this day. “Can I sleep in your bed?”

“And you say you’re not clingy,” Damian teases. “Come on, loser, chop chop.”

————-

Cady is much more rational after a night of sleep, and texts both Janis and Damian one more apology. They Facetime Cady and Regina every day until the end of their term. Cady takes much better care of herself throughout, and only studies in short bursts. She passes all her exams with flying colors, as everyone knew she would.

Janis and Damian’s finals are the following week, and then they’re packing up their apartment and flying home for the summer. They decided to leave Janis’ truck there and not drive home for the sake of simplicity.

Cady texted them and said she couldn’t be at the airport to meet them due to a last math club meeting, but would be able to meet them at Janis’ house once they arrived there.

She, of course, was lying. She’s waiting by baggage claim and smiles when she sees her two favorite people (looking frankly exhausted) grab their suitcases. Cady quickly texts Janis before they can order themselves an Uber, telling her to turn around.

Janis does, and Cady jumps up and down and waves so she can see her. Janis smiles widely and runs to meet her. Cady runs to her too, and they meet each other halfway.

“I thought you couldn’t come,” Janis says as she picks Cady up to spin her around.

“I lied!” Cady says happily. “Payback for Christmas.”

“Ah,” Janis giggles, pulling her close again and wrapping her up tightly. “How are you, Peanut?”

“A lot better,” Cady replies quietly. “My parents put me in therapy to help, too.”

“Good,” Janis says. “Now take me home, I have girlfriend cuddles to catch up on.”

“Okay, come on,” Cady chuckles, lacing their fingers together and grabbing Damian as they leave the building for the last time until fall. Good riddance.

—————-

Juliana comes flying out the door when she sees them pull up, running full tilt towards her sister and pitching herself into her arms. Janis shrieks as her sister suddenly collides with her, but wraps her arms around her tightly.

“You’re weird, Jules,” she teases quietly into her sister’s hair. “You’re not supposed to like me.”

“I don’t, you’re gross,” Julie retaliates, but doesn’t leave. Janis suddenly hears an indignant meow, and looks down to find Pancakes sitting and waiting for his turn.

“How did you get out?” Janis asks, scooping up her chunky cat and stroking his ears. “And how did you get fatter since Christmas?”

“Oh, oops,” Julie says quietly, realizing she left the door open. “Come on.”

Damian and Janis’ moms come out to hug them, and Janis is confused to find Cady’s parents there as well. Cady grabs their suitcases while they make their greetings and carries them in for them.

Janis follows after her a few minutes later, still carrying Pancakes who is refusing to be set down. “What’s happening?”

“Just a little get together,” Cady teases, resting Janis’ suitcase on her bed to be unpacked later. “To celebrate you coming back.”

“Oh,” Janis replies. “What… what sort of get together?”

“You don’t have to be scared, it’s just a barbecue,” Cady giggles. “And nobody else is coming, we just have a lot of food. And Jules got you another cake.”

Janis grins affectionately. “Cute.”

Cady comes up and scritches Pancakes behind his ears, making him purr happily. “I know, Janis is home for three whole months!” Cady agrees excitedly. “And she’s been with me for two hours and hasn’t kissed me yet!”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and cups the back of her neck, pulling her in for a sweet kiss. Pancakes meows crankily when he’s squished between them, so they pull back.

“You’re a real cockblocker sometimes, you know that?” Janis asks him quietly. “Let’s go see if we can steal you some food.”

Pancakes is stuffed into his cat carrier so he can spend the evening in the backyard with them, and given a piece of a cheeseburger patty to appease him.

Janis, Cady, Damian and Juliana play tag while the adults cook, and then have a contest to see who can jump off the swings and land the furthest away.

Cady laughs delightedly as Janis pushes her swing higher, and shrieks in surprise as she comes rushing up behind her upon her landing to pick her up and carry her around. Janis slips after a few steps and they both tumble to the ground, but nobody is hurt.

“Jay, oh my god,” Cady laughs, clutching her stomach. Janis laughs with her and rolls off to the side, lying on her back next to her. “You’re such a dork.”

“Are you okay?” Janis laughs breathlessly. Cady had kind of taken the brunt of their impact with the ground.

“Yeah,” Cady chuckles, her laughter finally slowing. “Are you?”

Janis rolls on top of her again and leans down for a kiss. “I have you back with me, of course I’m okay.”

“You’re such a flirt, oh my god,” Cady giggles. Janis leans down again, but is suddenly beaned in the head with a foam football.

“Ow!” She yells, looking over to where Damian is standing with Juliana on his back.

“Horny police,” Damian calls. “Stop it.”

“Ugh!” Janis grumbles, but does roll off of her girlfriend. “You guys are no fun.”

“You literally just tossed your girlfriend on the ground and then fell on top of her, don’t talk to us about fun,” Julie retaliates. “We just don’t want to see you fuck in public.”

“Hey!” Janis calls, whacking her on the back of the head. “You’re not allowed to swear.”

“But you do it all the time!” Julie says.

“Yeah, do you really want to end up like me?” Janis asks.

“Fair point,” Julie shrugs, shrieking as Janis suddenly lunges for her. She slides off of Damian’s back and runs away from her sister’s wrath, with Janis running full speed after her.

“You little brat, get back here!” Janis yells, increasing her speed.

Cady and Damian watch in a mixture of hilarity and concern, laughing as Julie streaks by them. Janis is gaining on her, however.

Juliana makes it to the adults first, shielded by their mother. “Girls, behave.”

“Yeah, Janny,” Julie teases. “Behave.”

Janis sticks her tongue out at her, and Julie does it back. “Sleep with one eye open tonight.”

Julie dissolves into giggles at the threat, and Janis does too. Cady grins at their interactions, reminded of her brother. She still has the necklace, and touches the charms without thinking of it.

The sisters return to Cady and Damian then, both slightly out of breath. Janis kisses Cady in greeting and smiles as she nuzzles into her shoulder. Julie and Damian both make fake gagging sounds, but they ignore them this time.

Eventually they’re called to eat, and Cady sits on Janis’ lap as they all sit around a picnic blanket and munch happily on their hot dogs and burgers. Janis feels more at peace than she has since July.

Maybe summer is okay.

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #regina george #gretchen wieners #karen smith #mean girls #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical

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