#gonna go delete that post now :cc

[mythicalcoolkid]

All of the things that would be "awkward" for me to do around extended family are really not because of me or anything about the thing itself, but entirely about how my parents stopped telling anyone major information about me after like fifth grade

Like I can't bring have disability aids with me NOT because health stuff is weird but because it's much weirder that I have in fact had significant health problems since I can remember and have been disabled since, generously, 17 (more accurately 11 or 12) and my parents didn't tell anyone. I can't officially come out NOT because people would be weird about it (they would but I don't care) but because that would necessitate admitting that I've been living socially as male for going on ten years now and my parents never said anything and had me just. Pretend I wasn't. Like it's so funny now that I've had so many huge life changes that I CAN'T talk about it because the inevitable follow-up is "wait. This has been going on HOW long...?"

[sim-berry]

I'm Tired.

I totally get why many simblrs don't want to name and shame and want to avoid drama, but I'm not one of those simblrs. If I see some bs I'm going to call it out. I only have a few followers (who are lovely and sweet) anyway, so it's not like I'll get a crusade against me. So that's exactly what I'm gonna do, because I'm pissed right now.

I know I don't have a big blog so it's unlikely many will see this, but if you do, please reblog it. Spread the word about creators who have stolen content so that people can stop downloading their cc and supporting them.

One of my favorite creators, Toys of Dukeness, has just deleted all their poses from Patreon and stated that they are leaving the Sims community. Their poses have been STOLEN by other "creators" who have locked them behind paywalls. Keep in mind Toys gives their poses out FOR FREE and they've been STOLEN and put behind paywalls! They're making money off of shit that isn't even theirs! How disgusting is that?? And now they don't even feel welcome in the community that they've given so much to.

And it's funny because I just saw a post from the amazing @simmireen (who makes many of my favorite poses) calling out THE SAME CREATOR for stealing their poses!! Simmireen's poses are stunning and she is kind enough to give them out for free, and she's had her hard work ripped off by an early access paywaller. The same one who drove Toys out of this community: simsulani.

This is a screenshot taken from Toys of Dukeness's post (read the whole thing here) that specifically calls out two of the thieves:

If this keeps happening, more of our wonderful cc creators are going to leave simblr. And I don't blame them one bit. Why put hours, sometimes days, of work into creating content when it's just going to be stolen and profited off of by someone else?

And when those creators do eventually leave, do you know what we'll be left with? Scummy perma-paywallers and early access creators who use minority groups to make money. (As a member of the LGBT I can't tell you how fucking sick I am of seeing "Pride Month Collection- Available to the public on June 30th🥰")

We can't let that happen. We need to support and show love to the creators who allow us to have beautiful cc and amazing poses in our games. I can tell you right now my stories would be nothing without simmireen's and Toys' poses. And they aren't the only creators who have had their cc stolen. We're on here about AI stealing art all the time (which is a totally valid argument, don't get me wrong), meanwhile actual humans, fellow simmers, are stealing content right under our noses, right this moment.

I am TIRED of this. Our content creators are being driven off this site and out of the community entirely because their work is being stolen. Storytellers, including myself, have also had their storylines stolen. I once saw someone take my entire NSB Gen 2 storyline, with even the quotes being copied and pasted! If you don't have creativity, then don't make content, that's okay. What's not okay is STEALING from people who have worked hard on their craft, ESPECIALLY if you're making money off of the stuff you stole.

Again, please reblog if you can. And feel free to share some REPUTABLE creators so simmers know who to download from rather than the thieves. They're the ones who need to be driven out, not the hardworking creators. And anyone who is afraid to vent about this on main can come into my anon and rant all they want. We as a community need to stop this.

-Coco xoxo

[yin-shimo]

Let's Talk.

@tr-angyo paywalls sims, even after about a year of removing all links/post from their tumblr that point to them doing it. but go ahead, take a look at their patreon

their lowest tier is... 3dollars and the highest [not shown] is 12. and what is it they 'gift'? Nothing but sims with stolen CC. and whatever 'early access' they have is a fucking lie. There are NO links in any post, why?

second image source

because they send links through direct message only. shady on top of shady lol. Now why have i decided to bring it up?

because as of May 8th, they've decided they wanna go ahead and secretly sell a sim with my CC like the fucking cunt they are. SO yeah.

@tr-angyo take my cc off your fucking sims. Matter of fact, delete my cc from your pc altogether if youre gonna use it for your scam.

[bonesandthebees]

It's fine I perservere through everything bc I am just that cool

Also yeah, wtf has happened since I've been gone??? Like? Last I new was the Wilbur stuff and know there's talk of the French Union threatening to sue Quackity (I think? I'm a little confused on the whole thing)

oh god sammie you have missed. so much.

um. ok. nutshell summary. this is gonna be long. (tw: talks about more abuse and SA allegations being brought against other ccs)

other mcyt cc allegations after wilbur:

you know what happened with wilbur. after all the support shelby received, another streamer caitibugzz (another brighton cc) came forward with her own story about being sexually assaulted by a cc at vidcon while she was 18 and he was 26. she didn't name him but like with wilbur it didn't take long for people to figure out she was talking about georgenotfound. anyway, uh, that spiraled into a thing. george said a lot of shit, dream involved himself way too much, it was a mess.

immediately after that, punz's ex girlfriend, andi, came forward and discussed how toxic their relationship was and detailed a time they had sex while she was blackout drunk, which is SA. punz did respond insisting he didn't realize how drunk she was, it turned into a whole thing, andi's response basically boiled down to read both sides of the story and form your own opinion.

also then punz jumped in on whatever the hell was going on with dream and george with george's own allegations and discussed how in his entire friendship with dream he's felt very intimidated to speak out against him and often thought of him as a boss more than a friend. along with that he also brought up a point regarding his ex girlfriend andi, but I'm not going to go into too much detail on that because I don't believe andi wanted all that information to be made public and punz later deleted the posts.

at the same time another thing happened. another cc in the brighton group, lexie marie, had spoken out multiple times about how her ex was emotionally abusive to her and the day before wilbur posted his 'apology', she and shelby even did a whole stream together discussing abuse and their experiences. anyway, lexie's abuser was publicly named as wisp, so yeah he responded with an 'apology' of his own.

NOW AS FOR QSMP:

like a week or two after wilbur's 'apology' was posted, a former admin of one of the qsmp updates accounts came forward on twitter and discussed the terrible working conditions she and all the other admins have been having to deal with working for quackity studios. we learned that the updates accounts and the egg admins were unpaid, and were often pushed to pulling more hours or doing extra work they shouldn't have. this blew up in the community and quackity ended up doing a stream to say he basically has to do an entire restructure of the server because the finances for the server were being severely mishandled and he was under the impression most of these people were getting paid when they were not. (also, during this stream quackity made a quick aside to say that wilbur was going to be removed from the qsmp)

since then, more admins have left the team (agent 18, ramón's current admin) saying they haven't received communication and aren't sure what's going on.

one of the issues the initial whistleblower brought up was that pomme's admin had just recently been removed from the whitelist for the server and kicked from the discord server without being given much of an explanation. the french cc's all collectively said if pomme was not given back her role they would not continue on the server. today pomme's admin revealed herself and made a post saying she still hasn't received any communication with the team and is quitting entirely. dapper's admin resigned in solidarity with her.

then today quackity did another stream discussing how things are taking time because they have to work out a lot of internal legal issues and because it's legal stuff he can't give that many updates. he's also been hesitant to update people because he doesn't want to make false promises, as right now the qsmp does not have enough money to pay the egg admins and they won't return unless he finds funds for that because he's ending all unpaid positions. also, as people have left the project, some have been posting private screenshots from the qsmp discord or from communications with the qsmp team and quackity has said these leaks have been causing issues with the legal stuff they're dealing with, and also what's going on has been misconstrued as a result of these leaks, so that's another reason he's been keeping quiet about things. but he's determined to work this all out and to keep the qsmp going, but he completely understands if people don't want to stick with the project or if people who have worked with it wish to leave.

as far as the union goes, the initial whistleblower was a french admin for the updates account and so when she left the studio she contacted a french union about the unfair working conditions. the union has posted on twitter calling out quackity studios saying they're in violation of french labor laws and that if quackity refuses to communicate with them they will pursue legal action. except today we also learned from one of the union guys on twitter that they have not attempted to email him at all. they made their posts on twitter and said it's quackity's responsible to contact them. for the record, quackity deleted twitter a while ago so he's not on that platform right now. as you can see this raised some eyebrows.

so uh yeah. I'm missing a lot of details I know but I was trying to give as much of a summary as I could hitting all the major points. you have missed literally the most insane past few weeks.

[letomills]

Elaboration on my past shameful cc hair practices (I have learned the error of my ways)

Context over there. This here post is an answer to an inquiry by @sillysoraya.

This whole time since I started trying my hand at Sims 2 cc hair recoloring/retexturing, this had been my process: find recolors by a creator whose textures I want to use as a base, export said textures from their recolors via simPE, modify and/or recolor them in GIMP, then make fresh recolor files in bodyshop, reimport them immediately, close bodyshop, promptly delete everything that was generated in the Projects folder, take the new recolor files out of the SavedSims folder, and put my edited textures onto my them by building DTX in simPE.

When I say “textures”, I mean textures that look like this, you know, the ones you see in simPE with the transparent background:

[↑ that's evannamari's DBrown retexture of Newsea Miles Away]

That's how I do it for clothing, so why wouldn't it work for hair, I told myself naively in my immense hubris.

Well turns out there's a reason why the tutorials (such as this one by DeeDee) tell you to apply the textures not in simPE but in bodyshop. You’re supposed to put your textures in the Project folder - this kind of texture, that covers more than just the alpha:

[↑ the texture on the left / the alpha on the right ↑]

And only then you reimport and let bodyshop do its thing. The alpha will do its job carving out the texture properly (or whatever kind of sorcery happens in there).

Because if you give your recolors the already alpha’d out textures with the transparent background, what I believe happens is as the transparent background gets floodfilled with black during bodyshop’s file creation process, all the parts of the texture that had some wispy half-transparent hairs on them now have a layer of black underneath. Or at least what I know for sure is that those wipsy sections don't turn out looking nice but weirdly wire-y, especially on light recolors. Many hairs don’t have wispy strands and therefore are very forgiving (which is why I didn’t see a problem when I did the Rosesims hairs for example) but others have plenty of them, like the Newsea hairs. On those, it makes a clear difference. In game, it shows most as you zoom out, for instance in CAS from a face close-up view to a full-body view. It’s the same principle as this seam problem I had a while ago (and several times since), with clothing texture that was floodfilled with white too close to the borders of the texture mapping. When you zoomed out, the white would start showing.

Anyway, this is definitely stuff that creators in the community have known for 20 years and it’s 100% my fault for not following a hair tutorial and instead relying on prior knowledge of clothing-making that turned out not to be applicable 1:1.

I’m sure I still have a lot to learn on hair retexturing even after figuring this out. I was working on Newsea Yesenia when I had the realization that I was doing things wrong, but before I upload anything else, I’m gonna go back and look at all of the hairs I’ve done so far, fix them up when needed, learn more. Fortunately I think all of the Fakeblood gender conversions are fine but I’ll check and get back to you on that, there’s something I need to investigate. Edit: yes, all the gender conversions and copy-pasta of other people's unedited textures are completely fine, thank god.

Seems like as long as the texture didn't go through GIMP's import-export, it's fine, even if I didn't apply it via the Projects folder.

[blackmagictrait]

Do you have actual receipts of the elanoira incident? Trying to go off people's reactions and vague summaries is exhausting.

I had to go to twitter (🤮) for these so y'all better be grateful.

putting this shit under a read more because even I'm tired of it:

the post that started it all (Beigegate™):

the followup response (the infamous "big lips and fashion nova fits" and "you rich girlies love to take things up the ass" (????) one):

more followup (the "I. DECLARE. CANCEL CULTURE!" one):

last one:

and then she wiped all her cc, deleted her sfs, youtube, and tumblr, and was never heard from again.

idk if I missed any because I hate twitter and I'm not gonna spend any more time there than I need to, but that's the gist of it for ya. now please I'm begging y'all....stop asking me. 😩 even if you wanna ignore the sus "big lips" comment (which.......side eye...) girl was weird nasty and did NOT want anyone to have her cc which just makes her extra weird and spiteful. just a weird angry girl.

hope the tea satisfies sis.

[tylerjeauxburreaux9]

𝓣𝓨𝓛𝓔𝓡 𝓜𝓐𝓢𝓣𝓔𝓡𝓢 𝓛𝓘𝓢𝓣

request are 🄾🄿🄴🄽

P⃨a⃨i⃨r⃨i⃨n⃨g⃨ :

𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚛𝚎ader

𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚛!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙻𝚜𝚞 𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙻𝚜𝚞 𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙻𝚜𝚞 𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚢𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛

𝙻𝚂𝚄 𝙹𝚘𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

⛅️fics/blurb/series with smut in it

🌦️mixed fics/blurbs

⛈️angst

☁️fluffy

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖯𝖠𝖢𝖪𝖠𝖦𝖤 ⛅️

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖯𝖠𝖢𝖪𝖠𝖦𝖤 𝗅𝗅🌥️

𝖡𝖨𝖱𝖣𝖲 𝖮𝖥 A FEATHER ☁️

𝖠𝖫𝖮𝖭𝖦 𝖥𝖮𝖱 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖥𝖴𝖭(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗂𝖽 𝟤𝟧)🌦️

𝖣𝖨𝖤𝖳 𝖬𝖮𝖴𝖭𝖳𝖠𝖨𝖭 𝖣𝖤𝖶⛅️⛈️(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗂𝖽 𝟤𝟧)

𝖨𝖳'𝖲 𝖧𝖮𝖳 𝖨𝖭 𝖧𝖤𝖱𝖤 ⛅️ (request @bengals-barnesbabe )(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇)

𝖧𝖮𝖬𝖤 𝖥𝖮𝖱 𝖠 𝖲𝖶𝖤𝖤𝖳 𝖲𝖴𝖱𝖯𝖱𝖨𝖲𝖤 ⛅️(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇)

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖠𝖫𝖢𝖧𝖤𝖬𝖸 ⛈⛅️(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇)

𝖠𝖫𝖫 𝖳𝖮 𝖶𝖤𝖫𝖫 (𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗂𝖽 𝟤𝟧)🌦️

𝖥𝖨𝖥𝖳𝖸 𝖲𝖧𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖲 𝖮𝖥 𝖩𝖮𝖤(Tyler’s version )⛅️(requested)(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇)

𝖶𝖤 𝖡𝖤𝖫𝖮𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖮𝖦𝖤𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖱(𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝗂𝖽 𝟤𝟧)🌦️

𝖠𝖫𝖫 𝖮𝖥 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖨𝖱𝖫𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤𝖣 𝖡𝖤𝖥𝖮𝖱𝖤☁️

THE PASSENGER SIDE ⛅️

FLOWERS AND ROSES 🌦️

UNEXPECTED ☁️

UNEXPECTED☁️ https://www.tumblr.com/mysterycatsv/762197666070413312

𝖥𝖨𝖥𝖳𝖸 𝖲𝖧𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖲 𝖮𝖥 𝖩𝖮𝖤(𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌)

𝖭𝖮𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖢𝖠𝖭 𝖡𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖪 𝖴𝖲 𝖠𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖳(𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝖼)

𝖬𝖸 𝖫𝖨𝖳𝖳𝖫𝖤 𝖠𝖭𝖦𝖤𝖫(𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗅𝗎𝗋𝖻/𝖿𝗂𝖼)

DIET MOUNTAIN DEW(possible blurb/fic)

ITS HOT IN HERE (request @bengals-barnesbabe )

𝖭𝖤𝖶 𝖸𝖤𝖠𝖱'𝖲 𝖣𝖠𝖸 (𝖿𝗂𝖼)

𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖨𝖭 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤!(𝖿𝗂𝖼)

𝖫𝖠𝖡𝖸𝖱𝖨𝖭𝖳𝖧(𝖻𝗅𝗎𝗋𝖻)

THATS MY MAN

(𝗇𝗈��𝖾:𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗎𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝖼/𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌/𝖻𝗅𝗎𝗋𝖻𝗌)

—————————————————————————————-

ABOUT ME

My name : Ter’Laysia

Nickname:Tyler

Sign : Sagittarius

Age: 18

I’m an editor(I can’t edit anymore bc CC went pro)and fanfic writer for Joseph Lee Burrow (Joe burrow). I love to read,riding bikes,movies and relax. I don’t tolerate with the drama and bullshit unless I have to because people are petty other than that I don’t care In general but I can be a BITCH sometimes but I am very funny and a nice person to talk to

Now for the readers

If you’re under age and you find smut uncomfortable just don’t read it!! But one more thing I won’t block you because if you enjoy fics and that’s something that you love you should just read it and because that’s just wrong. If I block you from enjoying something you like! other fanfic writers will but I won’t because each it’s own I don’t care (unless you’re 10-13yrs old)

“I think you just do things that make you happy, and not really care about what anyone thinks”- Joe Burrow

Request are open

If you reblog my post or fic I don’t care

If you send me something unnecessarily in my asking i would just delete it and not respond but put something stupid or weird or dramatic or annoying in my ask i will block you and if put something about the Joe or the Joe community I will not answer you and I will block you because I don’t wanna hear it or anything about him and bs.

I’m afraid I might add this here

1. Please don’t argue with me because it’s not gonna make the problem any better unless you wanna feel like a small peace of shit talking to me

2. Don’t come here trying to start shit with me just because you’re as is mad about someone (me) handle that shit like a big person not like a little girl

3.embarrassing me in front someone will never work

4.don’t talk shi with me just go about your day and leave it alone unless you wanna be treated like shi

5.be the bigger better person

6. Don’t be a ass and fool around me and start shit that u can’t finish

Like I said I can be a bitch sometimes !

And I don’t tolerate bullying or death threats (not over here not on this blog) because that’s is unacceptable

—————————————————————————————

My favorite artist

Taylor Swift

Song: delicate

Beyoncé

Song: so many 😜 (L Lie)

Rod wave

Song: letter from Houston/girl of my dreams

Shawn Mendes

Song : mercy

NBA young boy

Song : Nevada/lonely child

Megan Thee Stallion

Song: captain Hook 

My favorite color blue and green

Movie/tv show: twilight and Lucifer

���————————————————————————————

 “Bengals first and then I don’t care”-JoeyB

[kindlespice]

🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

[aerodaltonimperial]

Listen, Imma be real with y'all for a second.

In 2022, the Chrono Cross remaster came out for PS4. And that summer, I wrote a 50k epic about my two favorites from twenty years ago and dropped it on a long-dead fandom for an absolute rarepair. It was one of the most ridiculous, fruitless things I've ever written. I knew very few people would read it. I think I never got more than 50 hits on it. I did it anyway, because it was fun and I had a great time and I knew it was good. And then I got into wrestling, so I sort of never looked back at it, because I was writing other things.

I cannot tell you how many times I have opened up my AO3 account in the past... 6 months or so, and thought, so, people were only my friends while I was writing what they wanted, huh? I stopped writing this, and people just fled? I have opened up my old Hookhausen fics and sat with one finger hovering over the delete button so many times, because if that's all people cared about from me, I was gonna nuke it out of spite. I'm not necessarily proud of it, but it's felt awful this past half a year writing in such a bubble, and as my therapist can attest to, when I feel hurt, I lash out to hurt other people in turn. Vamp is the only reason I won't do it. But it's been so hard being plunged back into writing alone after so long of people caring what I was doing. It felt like writing that CC fic again, only this time, I knew that people had simply lost interest. In me as a person, really.

Fic is the only place I feel worth anything as a writer. Years of failure, and fandom is my only source of positive feelings about my own words and my own work. It's hard to lose that, especially in the wake of giving up a decade-long dream. It's HARD to lose the only thing keeping you going with a hobby, and I'll be the first to admit that I haven't been handling it well. I used fandom interaction on my fic to help fill all the pieces left exposed and smarting from failing at trad pub over and over and over. It's not a bad thing to do, really - a lot of writers suggest doing this, to help build motivation and confidence while trying to get published. But it only works when there are people there to read your fic, haha. Fandom, for me, has been contributing to my depression symptoms big time. At one point, my therapist suggested maybe I should step out of fandom and fic writing, because it was spiraling my mental health. And to have him tell me that, after our years together, really opened my eyes to how bad it had gotten for me in regards to my self-worth and self-confidence.

I got a comment on that CC fic this morning. It happens so rarely that it really caught me off-guard, but it was one of the nicest things ever, and I sat reading it thinking... okay. This is worth it, isn't it? That fic has been there for years, garnering so little attention it wouldn't have mattered if I had deleted it. I was reminded this morning that it does matter. That single comment on an obscure fandom that peaked twenty years ago and still never had many people in it, made me feel like spending my time in fandom is still something worth doing. I can't thank that reader enough for taking the time to leave it for me. If you ever think that your interaction with people's work doesn't matter, I hope this helps you feel differently. Maybe people aren't reading your fics right now, but maybe they'll find a fic you poured your heart and soul into a couple of years later.

Not sure why I am posting this LOL. I expect people will unfollow me. Sometimes, I feel like I can't talk about these things without seeming like a bitch, but y'all already know I'm a bitch anyway. 🤣 We write fic because we love it, because we adore the source material, because we have passion for the characters. But we post because we want to share and connect with people. It just feels so much like that second part has somehow gotten lost recently. Anyway. Back to your regularly scheduled Tumblr lives. 💚

[yuyulie]

Feel free to ignore everyone but I've just been looking at some of the things I made over the years and its so many things I gave up on lmao 😭😭 I see a bunch of things online, go and recreate them in MD/Blender and most of the time they either don't work in game or the textures look like shit 💀💀 so if anyone wants to see them, check down below 👇🏽👇🏽

Had to go in the whatsapp chat archives with my irl to find this BUT THIS WAS MY FIRST MESH from back in sept 2022 apparently? I was soooooooo proud of myself this took me literally like a week bc of the weights and then the textures and I used the fuck outta this top in my game, every sim of mine was wearing it 🙂‍↕️ lmao but i took a break from the sims in jan '23 bc of my internship and when I came back I was like "OMG this looks like SHIT???

I'll be honest I don't remember ever opening this in game 😭 but apparently this top was like 20k~ polys??? Crazy times

NGL i feel bad abt deleting the first top since i made it for a tiktok cc process vid and people asked me when i was planning on releasing and i was like yea soon 😊 then never did shjdbhjdbfds

THE SANDALS WERE MY FIRST EVER PAIR OF SHOES but the straps would disappear when i made the sims feet bigger 😭 but its fine now i (kinda) learned how to make (very simple) shoes now so maybe ill post some soon 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

The hat was cute but in cas my sims would get the question mark when i put it on them i don't know why?? and the bikini belt thing was just meh so i got rid of it

The first top was also my favorite for awhile but the weights were kinda weird, everything else also had the same problems and honestly im glad they did bc they were all ugly af, SUPER high poly and just looked like caca in game thank god i deleted them (there were more things i made in between this and the next pic im abt to show but i don't have any pics soooo)

This hello kitty necklaces I was so proud of and I made SO MANY SWATCHES (18!!!) but bc i always rush to finish everything before getting in game, when i finally checked them they looked real nice im ngl BUT the morphing was sooo bad on small beads😭😭 they looked even worse on the masc frames RIP

I don't have the ref I used for this anymore but it was a really cute bonnet, mine just looked like a crumbled piece of paper plus its from last year so I didn't know how to retopologize or how to sculpt in Blender

This was supposed to come out with one of the simblreen gifts but again I didn't like the morphs but I did use the base of the cross for my other cross necklaces so i guess not completely useless 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Still proud of the lighter but I don't know what I was going for 😪

The mp3 was so fun to make but the weights were kinda weird and I didn't know how to fix them 🙄 (I did ended up using the earphones for the folasade collection 👌🏽)

Both were supposed to come out in the denim set BUT the more I looked at the pants the less I liked them and the skirt I just felt like it didn't belong with the jeans I did release?? its a cute skirt but I haven't felt like releasing it so 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

I made this back when I wasn't mindful of where tops should stop/where the bottom part starts if u don't want any clipping to happen (looking at the heroine top since it also had the same issue but I realised wayyy too late so couldn't go back and fix it LMAO) still its a cute top and I feel like I could fix it in sculpt mode now??? idk

Very high poly 😭

PINKPANTHERESS MY LOVE ♥♥♥ ( I made this around the time I started the follower set so I just kinda forgot abt it, maybe one day I'll go back n finish it)

I think this was the original idea I had for heroine top? I gave up on it bc I just knew the buttons were gonna morph horribly since they sit right on the chest (also i never realised how similar it was to the tiktok top lol)

Ok after this, all the pics are from stuff that was supposed to be on the follower set but this was the original mesh for the dee top and I had to remake it since I couldn't find tops with sleeves of that size to transfer weights from 😭😪 (if that makes sense)

THIS JUST DID NOT LOOK LIKE THE REF 💀💀💀 plus the 'flower' is soooooo bad 😭 sorry to whoever added this pic to the pinterest board I flopped so hard 😖

I just thought the quality of the textures was poor so I didn't even wanna put it up for download 💔 the jean quality I could definitely do better but the sheep patch/stitch(??idk) I couldn't find a clear high quality pic so yea 😪

i LOVED this one but kept having so many problems with it, first the dress was flying off the sim in cas, fixed that then the weights started acting up it was problem after problem lmao maybe one day ill sit down and take a look at it again

Cute skirt but the transparent/lace part would clip a lot

the pants would clip out of the skirt when sims walked and i was very confused since i obviously deleted parts of the jeans that aren't visible but that didn't work so idk

I also loved this headband but it was kinda hard to find a hair that would fit without clipping, if i ever find one I would definitely put it up for download 👆🏽👆🏽

It looks alright in sims4studio (i guess) but in game the textures were kinda blurry

CUTE but i forgot that buttons on the chest have shitty weights/uv's🤐

Thats all for now, I made so many other things but most of the time I just delete them bc i don't have the ability to make them work in game 😞plus I can't stand having files on my pc that im not using bc otherwise they r just taking up space 🤞🏽

[mspoodle1]

Hi! I really need your help! In your post from August 28th, you mentioned in the comments that you fixed the animation and the mod from thesweetsimmer now works well. It still doesn't work for me. I put it in both the package folder and the Overrides folder, but the pregnancy announcement animation still doesn't work. Only the stupid animation from EA. Please tell me what you did to fix it? All other mod options work fine. The only problem is with the pregnancy announcement animation.

Hiya!

Not sure if my situation will apply to you but this is what I was dealing with...It's gonna be long so I hope I can explain this properly. lol

I use s3mo for part of my cc organizing and sometimes mods don't work when they are put in s3mo. For example, all of Arsils, Zoeoe, Ani, Lazy Duchess, and most of my food related mods I keep in the regular cc mods folder structure (Overrides or Packages respectively). So for Sweet Simmer, all these mods go here not in s3mo. That was my first issue.

Next, Because I use all of TSS's mods, I had to make sure I was using the correct version of each mod. A few edit or use the same social data XML. So make sure your check the conflict of each mod at the bottom of the mod listing and it will tell you which version (script or regular version) to use.

There is one instance where I had to combine an XML's changes (not the correct terminology) but that's what I did. It's been over a month since I did this, so I can't exactly remember which one I did it with.

The More Pregnancy Interactions mod conflicts with the biggest little Mod for Toddlers. But I'm also using Toddlers can Sit on Couches mod which also conflicts with biggest little mod for toddlers. So I had to delete the BLMFT and use the version of the toddlers sit on couches mod that combines the 2. So because I did this, I had to make sure this didn't conflict with the More Pregnancy Interactions mod. (this might be where I had to do some combining of the Social Data XML but I really don't remember 🙈).

And of course, don't forget to delete your suite of cache files. That's what I did. Hope you can get it work. It really is such a cute mod.

[hazelpuff]

I just wanted to say that I'm in love (and a bit jealous haha) with your style. It's so pretty and unique! Your hoods are gorgeous and your sims even more! (may i ask you what technique do you use to make them? Pooklet's? Face templates? A lot of sliders?)

I jumped around a lot between maxis-match, semi realistic, etc. trying to find something i liked (and i still feel i didn't quite found something i like 100%) and I'm in awe of how you made something that doesn't look like ts4 nor ts2 but a so cool and pretty in between!!!

(also a disclaimer because I'm a tiny ball of anxiety: this is no shade to anyone who likes other styles, i find them pretty awesome in other people's games, they just look a bit boring on mine. The sims is about having fun and everyone deserves to play it as they like!)

Hi! Thank you for your sweet message!

(disclaimer at the beginning of the post, my keyboard is dying since half a year and i'm putting aside the moment to replace it, but after this post, I think I'm gonna make my mind soon lol. So sorry for any misspeling - you can get double nn, no n, no m, no c, double cc, no c and many other surprises - i tried to fix everything but I could miss something xd).

I've restarted my hood 5 times I think before I got it to my recent version. I'm terrified every time through most of the process, it doesn't come easily to me xD.

Also ofc, everyone can have whatever aesthetics they like - the sims is the perfect series to express that.

With my sims it really depends. I mostly make a sim that I really like and then use it as a base for other sims, but not always. Sometimes I make a sim that I think looks quite unique but it's still missing somethig when it comes to features and makeup face details. During those moments I just open up my body shop sometime later or the next day and try to tweak this sim, sometimes it's more than once. And other times I end up liking the idk 3rd attempt but i still keep going since i want to make more similair sims, and also it's tiring to start the process from the beginning every time xD.

(pics under cut)

or

OR

OR

sry for the baldness xD - i deleted the wip hair conversion files they had and now i can't never change their hairstyles lol, idk how i did it for those two last sims seriously.

As you can see, all those sims have this maxis chain necklace, which means that I started the process using the same base sim and it just evolved into many differet results lol.

Other times I'm editing some maxis face templates to make them more my style (it's really fun!)

I also made one of my sims face into face template to make the rest of the family. I didn't want their faces to be - mouth: mom; eyes: dad; nose: mom - just a mix of both and adding something extra to make them a little more unique. Kinda pookleted their faces with two face templates.

I just really like this face. It can look either goofy or good xD.

I sometimes get inspired by images of some real life ppl (models, actors). When I'm really out of ideas I'm also dowloading sims made by others and use them as a base - just tweaking their features to be my style, mostly it's about face proportions and replacing the cc they used to the one I have. There is muuuch more examples that I could give but a lot of times it's just a result of tweaking some sims a couple of times xD.

Also due to the fact that i make my sims in body shop, idk how their faces will look whit face expressions. I was always using my sims to create previews for my cc conversions so I'm also testing them that way and if something looks too off - I'm just going back to body shop to fix that.

I think I've developed my style around the clay hair conversions that I've made - I wanted the sims in my previews to go well together with clay hair. I remember that I've picked the hair first, THEN sculpted my sims faces. There just werent that many to choose from at 1st.

I don't really use face templates - I have some, but I don't use them much - i think the proportions on faces of my sims are the closest to the maxis sims 🤔. I like their sharp features so when I'm stuck with making a sim, I'm using the pooklet method with those maxis templates but only a tiiiny bit - like 10-20% and only on those parts of the faces that I want to tweak a little more. After that I'm going back to editing the face myself.

(also a lil bonus of my sim from 2017, the only older picture that i have, i found it recently by accident and i think this is the only time when it's kinda in-context to post it 🤣).

[ghoustelle]

AD TEMPORARILY CLOSED!!!

I got connected with a lot of absolutely wonderful roleplay partners through this post which I’m grateful for. For now, I got quite a lot going on so I won’t be able to pick up more roleplays… for a bit. I’m not deleting it bc I’m planning to open it up again in a few weeks/months, as the alghoritm seems to like this post. In the meantime - feel free to make this space your playground for connecting with roleplay partners!

Roleplay advertisement

I’m looking for an adult roleplay partner (by adult I mean 18+ and that’s a hard rule) for Attack on Titan roleplay. Preferably someone for a long-term, I hate dropping rp’s after getting invested but of course, life happens and I understand that.

About myself - I’ve been roleplaying for a few years, literate to novella style, 3rd person. As the academic year ended I’m rather available for another three months.

I’m a sucker for dark themes, angst, traumatising my characters, mysterious backstories, dead dove, nsfw and smut yet I don’t mind fluffy elements as well. As for the relatioships I’m interested in playing.

Favourites;

Erwin x Levi

Erwin x Hange (this one I tend to see more platonically but I love their relationship in every form)

Also cool;

Jean x Mikasa

Eren x Armin

Ymir x Historia

Rareship maybe if u got something interesting??

I prefer MxM ships and CC x CC but I’m open to other options as well. Tbh - as long as you feel like we’re gonna vibe feel free to hit me with other ideas and maybe we happen to click. Comment under the post, hit me a DM or add me directly on Discord #terinxoxo if interested (the like if interested system didn’t work for me previously so please make sure to interact in other way).

~ Lisa

[bonesandthebees]

I'm not sure if any of this is as important to say as I feel like it is, but just in case, here it is.

Idk about you, but I'm really tired of having things taken from me because the cc's were abusive. I say this with an emphasis on the fact that supporting their victims and condemning their actions is far more important, that I'm not giving that man a single cent anymore. The most important thing the community can do is support the people he hurt. But It's still gonna hurt to purge my playlist because we, as a community, were lied to. And something I derived comfort from, especially in the wake of recent personal events, has been taken from me. Not by the community or by the people coming out; by him and his actions.

So seriously thank you for creating a space for people to talk about what's going on, because it's so easy to feel guilty right now for having feelings about this situation. Especially as a neurodivergent person whose main comfort is music, including music (and YouTube videos) he made.

I just feel like it's important to put this out there. The community as a whole needs to support the victims, but it's also okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to look at his songs in your playlist, dreading deleting them, for a while. No one will hate you for that. You're not a bad person for that. They're just songs or videos, but they're content that mattered to some of us. How dare he ruin that for all of us. How dare he.

Now that I've written a whole entire novel, please take care of yourself. I know I'm an internet stranger but I almost didn't write this because I think that it's important to emphasize that while I'm glad to see Tumblr users creating a space to talk for those of us who don't post and such, I also think it's way more important that your blog be a safe space for you yourself.

- a rambly anon 🪐

yeah, trust me, I'm fucking sick of this too. you're not selfish for feeling upset about deleting his songs from your playlist or not being able to watch vods of his for comfort anymore. you are not a bad person for having an attachment to someone who lied to his audience about who he was. you are human. you are allowed to be upset.

also, to veer slightly from your point but to bring something else up, while I know there are varying opinions on the community in this I personally don't think I want to let this make me stop hoping for people to be good. yes, it might seem like an endless pattern of people you like being revealed to be assholes. and for some people, they might want to leave the community to avoid that disappointment again. for me, I'm not going to put cc's up on a pedestal and expect them to be great people, but I'm not going to expect the worst from them either. keep my expectations realistic, but not pessimistic. content creators are flawed human beings like the rest of us, and sometimes they can be really shitty people, but sometimes they can be good people too. and I'm always going to hope for the latter.

and thank you for thinking of me. honestly the reason I've slowed down answering asks the past few days is precisely because I've been trying to take care of myself. I've gone up and down in terms of how I'm doing, and when I'm not feeling up to it I don't touch my inbox.

and despite everything that's happened this morning, I've had a good day. I got myself a cinnamon roll. I'm drinking green tea and it's sunny out. I saw flowers blooming on the side of the road and it made me smile. focusing on the little things, you know?

[sunny6677]

Never really made a introduction post to my blog, so here—

Hello! I am Sunny, or Lila, or Tomori—you can call me either one of those but Lila makes my gender euphoria go yippee more jdnsnsj /lh

I'm taken by my lovely partner who I would tag if they actually had a Tumblr hsnsns /lh

My pronouns are she/her but I don't mind being referred to with they/them. I am transfem and lesbian—(and possibly on the ace spectrum??? Still trying to figure that out). I am autistic, and possibly have BPD—I also have pretty bad anxiety issues and some pretty bad OCD.

My interests are: FNAF, Spooky Month, horror, analog horror, poetry, BATIM, dinosaurs, jurassic park, TADC, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, etc etc the list goes on.

My kins, or rather just characters I strongly relate to are: Lila, Skid, Streber, Radford, Pomni, Zooble, Patty, Wednesday Addams, Eleven from Stranger Things, Rika Furude from Higurashi, Edd from Eddsworld (the character), Toriel, Alphys, Pacifist! Frisk, Kyoko Kirigiri, Jake from The Music Freaks, The Crying Child/CC from FNAF, Darwin Watterson from TAWOG, Garnet from Steven Universe, Marceline from Adventure Time etc etc.

My comfort characters right now are: Kevin and Lila from Spooky Month, or rather basically any character from Spooky Month, but mainly those two lmao.

My ships are: Lila x Kevin, Kevin x Radford, Edd x Tord (the characters are who I ship), Tom x Matt, Pomni x Ragatha, Lila x Jaune, Wednesday x Enid, Betty Groff x Simon Petrikov, etc etc.

DNI: MAPS, MAPS supporters, Zoos, Proshippers, any NSFW accounts in general because I'm a minor—I'm chill if suggestive stuff or jokes are made but nothing too heavy, anyone who takes shipping a little too seriously, ableist people, racist people, transphobic or homophobic people, any kind of LGBT-phobic people, anti-self shippers or anti oc x canon (I do self shipping and oc x canon so you should probably skedaddle out of here if you don't like either of those things). Tbh, just dni people who are weird or do stuff that harms other people in general. I'm cool if you don't like certain characters or shows or whatever the hell, but if you like doxx or harass people over having opinions or if you do anything creepy in general, you should probably get outta here. Also younger kids in general—like any age below 13.

This is also supposed to be a chill blog where I just post stuff I like—and I tend to really hate fighting, so chances are if someone tries to start fighting shit up in here, I'm probably either not gonna respond or I'll just delete whatever they said. I mean like if I did something genuinely wrong I'll reply, but this isn't meant to be a discourse blog. I'm just here to have a good time fam. /lh

And request—if you're gonna block me at least tell me why before you do. Not because of any specific reason, I just happen to flip out due to a personal experience I had a while ago and I start thinking that they blocked me because I'm a horrible person and did something terribly bad. So if you're not blocking me because you think I'm a bad person, it might be better to explain to me before you do since my obsessive thinking won't freak out if it's just something like me being into a ship that's a trigger for you or me just creating stuff that makes you uncomfortable/just stuff ya don't like in general. /gen

Other blogs: @ask-the-wage-trio and a few others I can't tag for some reason

SONAS FOR IF ANYONE WANTS TO DRAW ME—

————

(OOC: Wasn't able to make a blog for this one due to some minor troubles, so here—this one is the Ask Tom! blog thing jrndnd)

(Edit: Finally made a Tom blog!!)

"...OHOHO! THERE IT IS!"

(She jumps up and down in front of the camera, placing her hands on her hips.)

"HELLO, PEOPLE OF TUMBLR! I AM THE GREAT PRINCESS OF SEDONAH, TOM! AND I HAVE LEARNT JUST RECENTLY ABOUT THIS THING CALLED.. ASK BLOGS. I FIGURED I COULD TRY IT MYSELF, SO HERE I AM! YOU MAY ASK ME ANYTHING! FROM MY FAVORITE COLOR, FROM WHETHER OR NOT THE EARTH IS FLAT, TO IF I COMB MY HAIR! I, THE GRAND PRINCESS, SHALL ANSWER EITHER WAY! OHOHO!"

————

(Tom's reference sheet)

Tom's relationship chart:

[inquebrar]

i wanted to talk about a lot of things that happened today because of the return of qsmp and the changes for QSMP 2024 but as having so many thoughts and things to talk about when a lot of things happen gives me an overwhelming feeling, i would like to say some things to people specifically who's main pov are Roier and Cellbit, and being part of the spiderbit/guapoduo community because now the situation is not the best, right? and i know that often people who struggles with anxiety, people who deal with hyperfixations, people who are neurodivergent or for those who simply get very immersed in fictional stories easly and have a lot of emotional charge deposited on it, you are not alone and don't blame yourself or feel bad about it, ok?

initially i was so genuinely happy, that for a few minutes my brain didn't even remind me that there was angst going on, no jokes i think i just actually deleted everything and forgot that, that wasn't q!Roier, but then there was a moment that i can't explain very well when or how it was but something about the way he interacted with q!Cellbit reminded me. and i automatically felt the pain of it all again. i felt an immense sadness that lingered until the end of the day (and i'm still feeling it)... realizing that no matter what happens, EVERY interaction they have is not > them < it's not the couple that gave me so much comfort, it's not the husbands who have such beautiful affection for each other, that have a tenderness so endearing to see. and that leaves me sad every time i think about it and now i can't forget it, on the contrary, i can't stop thinking about it because the uncertainty of "what will happen tomorrow? for how long this gonna last? how will this be resolved?" is draining me. and it was more than two months going through a lot of angst based on a lot of sentimental weight which focused a lot on the personal issues that both characters have, mainly revolving around how bad both of their mental health are and a lot of times this can be very heavy and intense to watch.

so after months of waiting to finally have good times and peace of mind, it's not over yet. and personally it hurts me so much the fact that it's not q!Roier that is living this new beginning together with q!Cellbit, it hurts me because every time i remember that q!Roier is still suffering in the federation and q!Cellbit is still not well mentally and the things he's hearing from the love of his life are contributing to his low self-esteem, it hurts me a lot that with every word exchanged, with every look, it's not the same thing because it's not them. q!Cellbit having to hear it coming from "q!Roier" that he didn't felt so sad and didn't missed him that much and believing that maybe staying away was really a good thing to do... that broke me. but on a positive note, what i have to say is that i congratulate the roleplay of both CC's because i was able to feel the impact that q!Cellbit felt when hearing those things being said and i can no longer look at q!Roier without feeling immense anger, hatred and disgust because that's q!Doied trying to manipulate. still, sometimes it's very tiring to deal with all this for so long, so i would just like to remind everyone to step back a little, stop for a moment to breathe, drink water, try to listen to music or do something that makes you feel better and take care of yourself in any way possible!

this is not a critical post nor is it neg, it's just something i felt like talking about because i saw that dealing with this angst lore has being very difficult for many people and even more after today since so much happpened so many things changed and if this affects you is not something to feel ashamed of or anything like that! we are together and please take care of yourselves ❤️