#gonna fix these tags later lol gonna go back to giffing

[rwrbmovie]

[dixons-sunshine]

I'm not even gonna put this as anon like I usually do with requests because I just can't be bothered to- Could you do Daryl making a stressed out reader slow down because she's running herself ragged and needs some downtime? Fluffy all the way.

Reader really is me right now lol

Spa Day | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

*GIF isn't mine.*

Summary: With the walls needing to be rebuilt, runs needing to be made and crops needing to be planted, it was safe to say that you were at your wit's end. However, things needed to get done, causing you to get overstressed. Luckily Daryl was there to help you slow down and relax.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Alexandria, pre Saviour arc.

Warnings: Mentions of exhaustion.

Word count: 1.6k.

A/n: My migraine finally subsided enough for me to focus on finishing this. This was a really cute idea and I hope I did it justice. I hope you like this! (Forgot to tag you in this 😅 I was so tired when I posted this. @celtic-crossbow)

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

The scorching afternoon sun was relentlessly beating down on the people of Alexandria. The inhabitants of the safe zone were restlessly working to fortify the fallen walls to ensure that the community remained impenetrable from the the dead wanting to find their next meals.

However, none of them were working themselves to the bone quite like you were. And Daryl was starting to get fed up with your antics.

Daryl grumbled to himself in frustration as he leaned on the car he was busy fixing up, watching as you walked past him in a hurry for the hundredth time that day, occupied with yet another task that somebody else probably could've handled on their own. However, with you being you, he knew that you offered to take someone's job for them so that they could relax and get out of the blazing summer sun, all at your own expense. Everyone else was enjoying their day while you ran around like a headless chicken.

Your caring, helpful and selfless nature was something that the archer loved about you. Despite the horrors in the world, of everything you've seen and experienced, you managed to clutch on to your humanity and keep it locked safely in your being, like a vault. However, on that particular day, he wished so badly that you'd just be selfish and take the day to slow down and unwind, maybe get some much deserved sleep. You were awake even earlier than he was lately, and went to bed way later than almost everyone, so he knew there was no way you were going to last if you kept this up. It seemed to him like it would be his duty to pull you away and force you into your home to relax.

He's officially had enough of your stubbornness. You were going to relax, whether he had to drag you home or not.

He hurried after you, calling your name. You stopped when you heard his voice, turning around to look at your partner. You sent him a smile and called back to him. “Can't talk right now! I have to go help Denise restock the infirmary!”

You turned around and started to stalk off towards the infirmary, but you were stopped in your tracks when Daryl grabbed your wrist and spun you around. You looked up at him in surprise, observing the determined look the archer had in his eyes.

“Daryl, what—”

“Nah, ya ain't goin' nowhere,” he told you matter-of-factly, moving his hand from your arm to hold your hand in his. He looked to the side and saw Aaron walking somewhere with Eric. “Hey, Aaron, Eric! Would ya mind helpin' Denise with restockin' the infirmary? She can't do it alone.”

Aaron smiled and nodded. “Sure! We were just heading that way anyways.”

Before you could start to protest, Daryl started pulling you with him, leading you towards the house. That didn't stop you from trying to resist, however. The need to help everyone, even if they didn't need it, ran deep in you, and you hated that your responsibility was now pushed onto someone else.

“Daryl, what are you doing?” you questioned, sending your partner an incredulous look. “I should be helping Denise. Aaron and Eric were relaxing today. They shouldn't have to tire themselves out.”

“And neither should ya,” Daryl stated, pushing inside your small home and closing the door behind you. “Dun' think I haven't noticed ya overworkin' yerself. Takin' on extra guard duty, workin' day and nigh' to fortify the walls and helpin' Maggie with the crops when she has 'nough people helpin' her already. Yer outta here earlier and earlier each day and gettin' home later each nigh'. Ya deserve to relax, too. And I dun' wanna hear any complaints.”

You couldn't help the smile that spread over your face. Your heart swelled with love for the man before you. Never before in your life had you been with a man quite as amazing as Daryl. None of your previous partners would even have realized that you were working yourself down to the bone. You were extremely lucky to have the archer in your life.

“Okay, Mr Dixon,” you started playfully, sending him a teasing smile. “What do you want me to do first on this relaxation journey you seem to have planned for me?”

Daryl breathed a sigh of relief. “Go take a shower and get changed into somethin' more comfortable. I'll get started on makin' us somethin' to eat.”

Following his instructions, you headed up the stairs. A few minutes later, Daryl could hear the shower turn on and he inwardly celebrated his victory. You were actually listening to him. You were actually going to relax for the first time in weeks. If he had known that him voicing his concern would get you to start slowing down, he would've done it a while ago.

Working like a man on a mission, he quickly grabbed some pillows and blankets from one of the cupboards and made a comfortable place for you to relax on the couch before moving to the kitchen. Grabbing a few things he needed from the cupboards, he made good on his promise and started preparing a simple snack for the both of you—some omelettes.

In no time at all, you were done in the shower. You got dressed in a pair of freshly washed flannel pants and one of Daryl's shirts and made your way down to the kitchen. However, the sight that met you had you stilling in your tracks—Daryl was busy dishing up the omelettes, a glass of wine for each of you next to the plates.

“Well, this is a sight I could get used to,” you voiced, making the archer turn to face you, pan still in his hand.

He shot you a small smile before handing you a glass of wine, ushering you out of the kitchen. “Go on and get settled on the couch. I'll be right there.”

Accepting the glass of wine, you nodded and headed to the living room, pleasantly surprised to see the blankets and pillows set up on the couch. You did as you were instructed and sat down on the couch, covering your legs and lap with one of the blankets. You were slowly sipping on your wine, waiting for Daryl to join you.

As if being summoned by your mere thoughts, Daryl appeared in the living room, balancing two plates in his hands. He placed one of the plates in your lap before placing his own on the coffee table, moving to grab something from his bag that was resting near the fire place. When he turned around, you audibly gasped in surprise at the object in his hand, placing your glass of wine and plate on the table.

“Where'd you get nail polish?” you questioned excitedly, sitting up straighter to allow Daryl to sit next to you.

“Rosita found some on a run a few days ago,” he explained, sitting down on the couch and gently taking one of your hands. “She didn't like this colour and asked me to give it to ya. I forgot 'bout it until now. Figured I'd paint yer nails and turn this day into a spa day of sorts.”

You smiled fondly at the archer, watching as he placed your hand flat on his leg and opened up the bottle. “You know you don't have to do this, right?”

“I want to,” he replied easily, carefully applying the nail polish to your nails. “Ya've been overworkin' yerself lately. Jus' let me take care of ya, alrigh'?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

The next few minutes was spent in a comfortable silence. Daryl was surprisingly good at applying the nail polish, making little to no mistakes whatsoever. In no time at all, your nails were done, and Daryl motioned for you to turn around. You did so, and practically moaned in relief when Daryl's hands started gently massaging your shoulders. His hands were expertly working at the knots that had formed on your shoulders, transferring you to a state of bliss.

“That feels really good,” you mumbled, closing your eyes at the heavenly feeling.

“Yeah?” Daryl smiled, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade before resuming his actions. “Told ya tha' ya were overworkin' yerself. Ya deserve this.”

You let out a groan of satisfaction, enjoying the feeling of Daryl's big, callused hands working at the painful knots. You were in heaven at that moment. Not only did Daryl make you food, he poured you a glass of wine, made you a comfortable spot on the couch, painted your nails and now he was giving you a massage. You truly believed that no man could ever compare to the man you had the lucky privilege of calling yours.

“I love you,” you whispered almost inaudibly, but loud enough for Daryl to catch.

Daryl smiled softly. “I love ya too,” he replied, pressing another gentle kiss to your shoulder blade before withdrawing. “Now lay flat on yer stomach. S'time to get workin' on yer back now.”

“Yes, sir,” you replied playfully, slowly flipping over to lay on your stomach.

“Good girl.”

[lightshcwer]

୨ৎ 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌𝗁𝖼𝗐𝖾𝗋 ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა multi-muse, semi-selective, low, sporadic activity, tumblr based muse blog. loved by opal (21+, she/her, est).

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ rules under the cut MUSES / STARTERS / WISHLIST / TEST MUSES

01. baseline rules; obvious ones apply here. no taboo plots like incest, pedophilia, etc; barf. but also no hateful behaviour of any kind ( homophobia, racism, islamophobia, etc. ). i am however comfortable if a muse has a hateful past: i just don't want to "fix" your muse. no godmodding!! i'm not comfortable sharing my real age online but i am above 21 years old, and this is the minimum age i require of you to roleplay with me, as in your age and your muse's age, too. i will go through your profile and verify, so make this easy for the both of us and don't follow if you're a minor.

02. activity; please don’t harass me for quicker replies because i'm juggling full-time work and mental health. roleplaying is escapism, not work lol. so i ask for your patience but don't worry, i'll extend it right back :) if i suddenly disappear then come back, i'll be dropping all my old threads, simply because i don't want to waste energy continuing threads that have probably been forgotten. so if we had a thread pre-MIA era that you'd like continued, just hit me up!! odds are i'm just as excited to keep it going anyway <3

03. formatting; i don’t personally use gif icons, the sizes of my gifs vary from small to medium and to keep my page tidy. i’d prefer if you did the same but i don’t require it. you can have fancy little pretty format for your replies too it’s stunning and i appreciate it, but don’t expect it to be mirrored. what i do expect to be mirrored, however, is the length of my replies. if i give you a paragraph and you give me two lines in return that don't even move things along, i'm not gonna bother replying.

04. selectivity; i’m semi-selective, but, apart from stuff mentioned in point 01, i don’t really have a concrete list of things i won’t interact with roleplay-wise. shitty, i know, but it’ll mostly be a gut feeling. i'll try working on a banned fc list sometime soon. but if something isn’t picking up and we’re both feeling like it’s meh, we can always plot something else! shoot your shot, i don’t bite. as of late, i have an overwhelming preference for female muses. my muse for my guys is very selective and i don't wanna deplete it.

05. muses; i’ve had some of these muses for upwards of a year, but most are either new or haven’t been played or explored too much yet. i test a lot of faces and have a tendency of dropping them... oops. but if one you liked disappeared, just nudge me and i'll see what i can do!! i’ll be working on their bios for you later but also short introductions for all of them.

06. content; i’m a grown woman, so it goes without saying that i'll explore mature themes here and there. i'm honestly not triggered by much ( if anything ) so i don't usually tag triggers but if you kindly ask me to, i'd love to do that for you! i want this to be a safe space for everyone as much as possible! i'm also not huge on smut and i will be operating with fade to black should the need arise.

anyways, if you have any questions, shoot me a dm. this blog is still under construction, i'll probably add more rules as they'll spring to mind! if you’ve read this, thank you: appreciate you, and looking forward to rping with you hehe 

[jengarie]

#showyourprocess !

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you, @rinielle for tagging me! She chose the piece above (original post), and oh boy this one was a whole ass rollercoaster ride! Unfortunately, I hadn't turned on the timelapse feature for this but I'll try to go through each part of the process as best as I can!

The photos I'm gonna upload are gonna be a mix of screenshots and literal photos of my screen, because I'm taking some of them from my updates to friends, since a lot of the steps got lost in my painting process.

But before that, let me tag some other amazing creators!

@dragonji: this gif art!

@candicewright: this yibo painting!

@wendashanren: this gifset!

@mylastbraincql: this gif!

I haven't been able to keep track of who's been tagged so apologies if you've already done this! Also, no pressure to do it at all if you would rather not! <3

Planning

Sometimes, I get an idea first and find reference photos to go with that idea. But for this one, I sought out a reference photo first, and built an idea on top of it!

After that, I roughly sketch out the base pose. Usually, this looks very messy, but it doesn't really matter as long as I understand which part goes where!

The idea for the background didn't really come until the creation process because I don't think I really planned this to be a full piece.

Creation

Sketching

Honestly, from this point on, it's more of trial and error.

So, I redid the the initial base pose—made it cleaner and a little bit more detailed. See: the added definition in their arm muscles, the rearrangement of Wei Wuxian's legs, and Lan Wangji's hand on Wei Wuxian's back. If you look at the second photo, I also changed the pose a bit midway—I tend to edit as I go sometimes when I change my mind. (For this, I thought, given the Lan arm strength, it would be better to make Lan Wangji look more at ease carrying Wei Wuxian. This gets covered by the robes anyway though, so it didn't matter much in the end.)

I also started adding details to the base! I usually start with the face and then the hair! I usually go for the clothes next, but I dreaded the robes in this piece so I guess that's why I ended up with a basic idea of what I wanted for the background instead LOL I also figured out how I want the final crop to look like, so I blocked out all the other areas with an extra layer!

Okay, onto the part that killed me like ten times: the robes. There are a lot of interactions between their robes here given their pose, and not to mention they also have layers upon layers on each of them! So, to maintain my sanity and to keep track of which part is which, I color coded them into the most colorful sketch I've ever made.

Another reason why I filled in each layer of robe with a solid block of color, is so that all the lines underneath gets covered. Without all of the colors, the actual outline actually looks like the one on the right. What a nightmare!

I also ignored the crop again for this part, because it's always better to draw past your borders, in case you decide to rotate or tilt or whatever your piece later on. I didn't do the feet anymore though, because that I was sure wouldn't show in the final piece anymore.

After that, I did the sketch one more time and then started adding the base colors. (I didn't have a screenshot of just the base colors, and the final CSP file is a nightmare so I copy pasted the layers into a new canvas to show you guys :') )

By the way, I drew their robes flowing this way, because I wanted it to frame the lower arch of the moon behind them for the composition. It was a little frustrating that I couldn't get Lan Wangji's robes a little higher because of Wei Wuxian's legs but I later filled in the empty space with his forehead ribbon anyway, so it all worked out in the end!

Painting

Because apparently, I was a masochist back then, I merged the base colors all into one layer and started adding shadows to the robes. (These days, I add shadows first and then, merge. It's much easier this way.)

And then, I started painting! Again, I did the face first and then the hair, before finally the robes. This was my first time painting side profiles and honestly it was quite a pain to figure out LOL but !!! I think I did a good job and I'm proud of how it turned out. I again used reference photos for this one but I can't link any because they were just several random Pinterest photos that I didn't save.

Another thing to note is that I use the mesh transform tool a lot, especially on faces. That's largely why Lan Wangji's face looks so different in the latter two!

And then I went with the robes. Somewhere along the way, I realized I didn't like how I planned to do Lan Wangji's sleeves and the flowy part of Wei Wuxian's robes and I... decided, with much dread, to do them over. So I sketched on top of the painted layers and redid the robes, again.

It was at this point that I decided to take a break from this piece because it was honestly very draining! I think it took about three weeks before I decided to open the file again and continue it.

When I did, I just finished painting the rest of the robes and their hands. The blue details on Lan Wangji's outer robes were painted on a separate layer that I put on Multiply. I probably did more adjustments to the face and hair and stuff, because my painting process is honestly a mess :')

Final Adjustments

I added some correction layers on certain areas to fix some of the colors. See: Lan Wangji's sleeve becoming much brighter and paler; Wei Wuxian's legs having less contrast. And then I merged all of the layers (excluding the background) and added a bit of blur. See: Wei Wuxian's ponytail; the entire lower part; the flowing forehead ribbon. My reasoning for this is so that most of the detail (and therefore the flow of the eye) goes to their faces and expressions!

And then, I put a blue Overlay layer on low opacity to make Wangxian blend better with the background, added a bit of shadow on the inside and the lower sections and added the glowing details for the added flair. I initially wanted sparkles and/or stars but they didn't turn out as well as this did. I also upped the contrast by a little for the entire piece!

Aaaand, that's it! In truth, I did a bit more color adjustments to the whole piece, but I was a dummy who forgot to turn them back on before posting so ... oh well.

Posting

Before posting, I upload it either on my spare private Twitter account or on a drafted Tumblr post so I can check the colors on my phone. This is because the colors on different devices can look very different, and I would at the very least want all my pieces to look nice on both of my devices!

And then, once I deem it satisfactory, I just try to think of a caption and post! Some artists wait for a certain time where most of their followers are active, but I didn't have a lot of MDZS followers at this point so it didn't really matter to me.

It still doesn't really; I haven't actually been able to figure out when my MDZS followers are awake even now.

[maziekeen]

maziekeen’s coloring tutorial (part 1, base)

part 2 for dark scenes here

before anything, here are some helpful resources for what i’m about to do cause i think you need to test everything to see what will work for you and will learn so damn much in the process:

how to use curves: curves tutorial by completeresources. and gif tutorial by barrysberkman. curves is the best and it’s what i use to “fix” the coloring before proceeding with the coloring

how to color yellow-ish/terrible scenes: coloring tutorial by jungshoseok. i’m always going back to this tutorial when i’m stuck with my coloring or need a reminder of a different way to color difficult scenes, and again, sami uses curves!

and there is more on my resources tag here

downloads/settings

download the psds

save for web settings

sharpen settings

text settings

crop sizes (new dimensions)

my ko-fi ♥

the tutorial, finally lol

tv show high fidelity. this gonna be simple scene before going to the annoying dark/yellow/green/blue scenes on the second part of the tutorial.

this is important: i don’t always get right the first time like i’m showing this tutorial. i do all this process and then go back to the layers and adjust a few to get what i want

before:

after:

1) curves. first i brighten the gif just a little with RGB so i can see how to color correct, and to do that i use the red, green, and blue there. instead of using them up, i decrease their values, trying to leave as natural/red/magenta as possible, sometimes i increase, like i did with blue, but it’s really just a bit

okay, what do i do? i decrease the color that’s bothering me. when you increase the RGB, the color that stand out is what you will use the others to fix. like this one, the gif got too yellow, so i decrease red. then it was too green, so that’s the next one to change. i get this “controlled” yellow, it’s good but i want more red-ish/magenta tone so i can work with the colors only later, so i increase the blue just a bit for that. then you get the result

i always try to "take off” the colors here so i have more control of them in the future and edit the way i want

result:

2) levels. i use for both darken and brighten, nothing too extreme

the white arrow to brighten, it depends on the gif, but since i'll use exposure to that later, i only use around 200 to 250

the gray one to darken, if you increase this one too much then you’ll be whitewashing the shit out of the gif, i only use this way or don’t use at all. exception if it’s a really dark gif

the dark one is to darken too, i use only around 0 to 10

result:

3) exposure. this one is the one i use to brighten, here the different is minimal, but in a dark gif this works really well as you’ll see on part 2. also, i know it looks like the levels was for nothing here, but most of the time you go back to previous layers and edit a bit more. or even after use exposure and need to darken, levels is there for it

exposure. i never use more than 1,00. and sometimes only +50 is enough in a dark gif

offset. nope, never, no

gamma correction. also, never use more than 1,10. sometimes 1,05 is more than enough

result: 

4) gradient map. i wasn’t a fan, but now that i see the difference i’m always using it. i like that controls the dark parts of the gif, i could use more levels for that, but it would get weird

always soft light, and the fill i only use around 20%. sometimes my standard is 15%. i got this from sami’s tutorial and it’s amazing even tho it doesn’t look like much here

result: 

5) color balance. i’m still in that thought of “taking off” the colors, because after this layer that i’ll edit them.but also here i fix the color if the gif is practically ready. i only used midtones, but sometimes i use highlights to make the gif as natural as possible. it doesn’t look like it changed much here, but you’ll probably get back here after finishing the psd to fix a thing or two

result:

6) selective color. the fun part! honestly, just mess around the colors. i can’t really say do this or that here because i change this a lot depending on the gif, so here are some tips:

reds and yellows. i use to fix whitewashing, make the person more vivid too, you know? usually i’ve been using magenta with yellow together, you have more control if the red will stay red or it will be pink-sh, and if the yellow will stay yellow or be around green

cyans and blues. if you come across a gif where the white is blue, you adjust this on cyans. decrease the cyan and mess around magenta and yellow

magentas and whites. sometimes the gif seems too red-ish, or something, so you decrease magenta and it will make a LOT of difference. the whites it’s helpful too when the white on the gif have another annoying color, you adjust here just like the cyans

neutrals and blacks. nothing hardcore, sometimes i don’t even use neutrals. and i used to use blacks on 10 and it’s just the worst on most of the gifs, so now i use top 5, depending on the gif

result: 

7) vibrance. i don’t overdo because it will ruin everything i edited previously, like, if add more vibrance the yellow would go crazy along with the background and ugh, this way is so clean and exactly what i want. so, i never use more than 50, some scenes are really with no color, so i use more

final result:

other examples using the same process are in the post previews since tumblr won’t let me add more gifs here ;)

PART 2 OF THE TUTORIAL HERE

there i’ll color dark/yellow-ish/blue scenes <3

[hufflepuffhollander]

spin the bottle: a tom holland imagine

a/n | this is long but it’s so worth it! it was fun to write so it has to be fun to read, right? (right???) *also thinking about starting up a tag list, message me if you want to be included!*

summary: An uneventful party takes a turn when you get dragged into a kissing game with a hot stranger. (the gif will make sense, trust me)

tom x fem reader | contains alcohol use, language, and lotsa kisses | word count: 1.7k lol | enjoy!

You smoothed down your hair with one final run through with your fingers before your best friend reached over to shove your car mirror shut, saying firmly, “You look fine. Stop being so paranoid! It’s just a party.”

Yes, you thought, but you didn’t know anybody at this party, just your friend-  and she had just barely convinced you to go by the time it was starting.

“There’s just this one bump I can’t get to go down,” you grumbled, reluctantly getting out of the car and pulling your dress down to cover more of your thighs. You walked into the house with your friend, smiling blankly at strangers as she floated through friendly faces, giving hugs, and you beelined straight to the drink table. There was a smattering of room temperature seltzers, mostly empty handles of liquor, and some sad looking pints of juice and soda to choose from. How exciting. Your expression at the disappointing array must’ve been more noticeable on your face than you realized, because a guy came up from behind you, shaking you from your thoughts.

“Takes you back to uni, huh?” he said, reaching for a red solo cup, hesitating, and then grabbing another, stretching it in your direction.

“There’s nothing quite like lukewarm alcohol,” you joke, only then looking up at the voice, choking back spit as you took in the beautiful boy’s features, a baby face somehow mature and insanely attractive, his prominent jawbone clenching and relaxing as it moved to speak.

“Can I suggest something? I have a secret recipe that always kills.” he smiled, reaching to take the empty cup back from your hands. You hesitantly let go, curiosity getting the best of your judgement. You watched intently as he went to the kitchen, filled the cup with ice, and came back with a packet of kool-aid powder in his hand. You frowned.

“Hey,” he said, smirking. “Don’t you trust me?” “I just met you.” “Well, trust in the process.” 

He started expertly picking up liquors and mixers, seeming to know the perfect measurements, looking like a chemist in his lab. You couldn’t help but stand in delighted shock at watching the artist work.

“Alright,” he said, handing you the cup, now full of a bright red liquid. “Close your eyes and try it.”

You took the cup, your fingers brushing his, and you felt your nerves awaken. You closed your eyes lightly and brought the cup to your lips, letting the cool liquid slip down your throat. It was...delicious. You opened your eyes and he smiled at your clear reaction.

“How did you manage to pull that out of the world’s most miserable array of drinks??” you asked, taking another generous sip.

He just chuckled, stuck his hand out and said, “I’m Tom.”

“y/n.” you said back, shaking his hand, nerves piping up again. He gave you one last smile, wiped his hands on his jeans, and walked away. You watched him leave and felt a twinge of disappointment that your brief interaction had come to an end. Your friend came out of the noise, putting a hand on your shoulder and looking at your cup.

“Where in the hell did you find that? All I’ve gotten is flat lime seltzer, which is obviously the worst one,” she groaned, glancing at the disgrace of a booze display.

“Bartender made it,” you said smirking, left in Tom’s invisible trail, taking a sip of your drink and floating away to another side of the room. Your friend looked after you, puzzled. “Where the fuck is there a bartender?” 

Later, after having a handful of meaningless conversations with forgettable people, you had made eye contact with Tom too many times to count and couldn’t stop thinking about him. You wanted to go up and talk to him, but you couldn’t work up the nerve. If he was as interested as his eyes told you, why couldn’t he just make the first move?

Your friend found you, taking your hand and bringing you into a smaller adjacent room, full of fruity smelling vape smoke and a few less people. “What are we doing in someone’s office?” you asked.

“Spin the bottle!” your friend grinned at you.

“Seriously? I haven’t played that since middle school, and nobody was ever bold enough to actually kiss anybody anyway,” you sighed. Honestly, you would’ve been happy to play- but Tom was nowhere to be found, and nobody else in the forming circle on the floor seemed worth your time. Your friend saw you hesitate to sit down. 

“Ugh, come on, y/n, you’re suddenly not up for making out with strangers?” she poked at you like you had a long-standing habit of doing just that. You shrugged, wishing you had stayed home. Your drink was long gone along with your interest in this party.

“Jesus, tough crowd,” your friend muttered. “Hold on.” she left the room, and you stood awkwardly in the corner, pretending to be interested in a boring painting on the wall.

She came back in, followed by a boy in a baseball hat, Tom trailing meagerly behind. You both made eye contact, making the same realization at the same time: you were suddenly very interested in playing spin the bottle. Your friend caught your eye and winked, mouthing ‘you owe me one’.

12 or so people sat in a tightly packed group, some a little buzzed, some completely faded. The girl next to you fidgets as you feel someone hover over you. “I’m gonna- just...squeeze in here-“ Tom shoves his way into the circle and sits down next to you, both of you looking straight ahead, smiling and silently acknowledging each other.

“You looked thirsty,” he says keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead, handing over a new red cup filled with the same magical liquid as before. You graciously accepted it and nudged your elbow into his. “Thanks.”

Someone put on a grungy party playlist and the game began. The boy in the baseball cap spun the bottle in the middle and kissed the girl Tom had taken the place of. Your friend ended up kissing a girl with sleek black hair and too much eye makeup, but didn’t seem to mind. Then came Tom’s turn, and he glanced at you, back to the glass bottle, and gave it a spin. It felt like an hour went by as it rotated around the group, eventually coming to a slow halt...and your vodka-soaked heart fell a few inches in your chest. It was pointing directly at a girl across the circle, smile shining brightly at her newly decided fate. She was objectively pretty, hair tied up in a ponytail with bright blue eyes. Tom cleared his throat, and she began to fuss with the hem of her skirt as she leaned slightly forward towards him. You brought your drink up to your mouth so you could focus on something, anything, other than Tom about to lock lips with the girl across from you.

But a hand pulled your cup away, and you turned to notice it just as you felt two hands cup your face, arms attached to Tom, who turned his whole body to face you. This all happened in an instant, and suddenly he pulled you into a heavy kiss as your eyes fluttered shut. You heard the girl grunt as she sat back down, but it was just background noise now- all you could focus on was the kiss you were currently melting into, Tom’s palms searing into your cheeks. You moved closer to him, wrapping both arms around his neck and kissed him back even harder. You only noticed it had been too long when someone lowly muttered “Guys, come on.”

You pulled away and remembered that there were still other people in the room.

Tom looked into your eyes, then down to your lips. He ran his tongue across his own. “You taste like Kool-Aid,” he said, lips curling into a smile.

You still had your hands grasping at the nape of his neck, bodies pulled into each other as the game continued.

“You know, that’s not how the game works,” you said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I decided to change the rules.” You couldn’t stop staring into each other’s eyes.

The song that was playing changed suddenly to one with a loud raging beat, and it broke you out of the trance you’d been in. You pulled away from Tom and glanced over at your friend, who was looking at you wide-eyed with pride. The girl across the room was shooting you daggers. Luckily, the alcohol warming your system helped you to not give a fuck.

It was time for your turn, and you decided to make up for all those times in middle school you couldn’t work up the courage to kiss the cute boy that you’d wanted to. So you picked up the bottle, let it spin around once, and stopped it as it pointed at Tom. He laughed along with a couple others. Someone else grumbled something like “get a room.”

Neither of you caring about the group anymore, Tom pulled you into his lap, this time snaking his arms around your waist, and leaned you back as he kissed you. It felt warm and familiar. The flavor of his tongue mixed with the vodka mixed with synthetic fruit punch filled your stomach with butterflies. Maybe the group gave up on the rest of the game, maybe not. You had no idea. You and Tom had synchronously tuned them out, eventually finding yourselves huddled up on a couch and wasting the rest of the evening away drinking your magic drinks and sneaking kisses in between sips. It seemed like the party was dying down, but neither of you wanted the night to end.

“Hmm, what should we do now?” you said, and Tom had a lightbulb moment, grabbing your hand and moving to stand up.

“How about another game?” he gave you a suggestive look.

“What did you have in mind?”

“Have you heard of seven minutes in heaven?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully, then squeezed his hand in return. You both looked around, hearts leaping with anticipation. Where were all the damn closets in this place?

[lesbian-deadpool]

The Assistant

Part Two Of Two: And There Was Funny Business

Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Platonic!Tony Stark x Reader

Words: 3,886

Warnings: I don’t think there is anything. It is mostly dialogue tho.

Request: For the @ryostephi who donated to the Australian Bushfires. (I’m sorry the tag doesn't work)

Summary: When was retirement again?

A/N: I am shocked at how much I got wrong in the first part, after re-watching Iron Man 2 as I wrote this part, and for that, I am so sorry lol. So... I know there’s still a lot of Tony in this... and I have no excuse, other than it’s based in Iron Man 2, and there's not much “Natalie” plot for me to go off of, and have it be all that good (in my opinion). So, I hope you don’t mind lol.

(Not my GIF)

***

“Explain!” Tony practically ordered you, his voice close to a screech, more than anything else.

“I’m an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” you told him blankly.

“Yes, I see that-!”

“How?” Natasha started, “I- I mean you can't be an Agent, I would have seen you.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is a big place, Natasha.”

“You always knew who I was.” She leaned back in her seat, beside Fury, regarding you.

You scoffed, shaking your head. “Of course I did.”

“Agent Y/L/N here, has been away for business for a short amount of time now,” Fury informed them, gesturing a hand to you.

“No offence, Nick. But I don’t think eight months, is a short amount of time,” you replied, causing the man to scoff softly at you, his lips quirking in a small smile.

“So, that’s where you’ve been, this whole time?”

You tuned to Tony. “Yeah, that’s why slept so much when I got back.”

“Anyway,” Fury began, drawing everyone’s attention back to him, as he spoke to Tony, “You’ve been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, you’re giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit-”

“Wait. Hold, up,” You paused him, raising a hand, “Rhodey took a suit?”

“He sure as hell did.” Fury said. “Now, if I didn’t know better-”

“You don’t know better. I didn’t give it to him. He took it.”

“Oh, well that's better,” you said offhandedly, as you rested your chin in your hand, watching the conversation go down.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s right.” he pointed at you. “He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walks in there, kicked your ass and took your suit? Is that possible?” He turned to Natasha.

“Well, according to Mr Starks database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorised usage.”

“Whoa, those were some big words...”

Tony snorted softly at both your words and hers. While Natasha threw you a light glare.

“What do you want from me?”

And that was the hidden queue you were looking for. Knowing what was coming next. You sat up straight in your seat, ready to make the move.

“What do we want from you?” And there Natasha goes, sliding out of her seat. You followed in her lead. Pulling yourself up by the table, and spinning yourself around to sit next to Fury. “Uh-uh. What do you want from me?” He continued, repeatedly pointing to the man, as you wore a shit-eating grin by his side, the scene almost painting out like you were watching your sibling getting chewed out by your parent. “You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the centre of my universe.”

“But I am, right?” He raised a lone finger to you, without even looking, to silence you, as you only smiled harder.

“I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with.” You rolled your eyes as your boss continued rant, wanting for this to be over. When your eyes spotted Natasha coming back.

Fury snapped his fingers, and told Natasha to, “Hit him.”

Tony let out a startled sound, moving back in pain. “Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?” He asked as Natasha checked his neck over, sitting down beside him, and watching the poisoned veins recede, “Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds?”

Turning to you and Fury, he continued to ask, “What she just do to me?”

“What did we just do for you,” Fury corrected him.

“Hey, that cleared up the Matrix puzzle, really well.” You smiled.

“That’s lithium dioxide. It's gonna take the edge off. We’re trying to get you back to work,” The man by your side explained, “You should thank Agent Y/L/N over here, she was the one who requested it, and made our Science Department's lives a living hell, until we got it.”

“Wait. You had something to do with this?” Tony asked, turning to you, notes of touch in his voice, showing you he had just realised how much you truly cared for him.

“Of course I did,” you scoffed, “You really think I was gonna let you die?”

You watched as billionaire’s lips twitched in a smile, before he returned to his stoic, guarded nature.

“Give me a couple boxes of that. I’ll be right as rain.”

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms.”

“Yeah, what the thesaurus said, over there,” you agreed, gesturing to the red-head. Who in turn kicked you “lightly” in the shin. Making you hiss out a small, “Ow.”

Not paying you mind, Fury continued, studying the other man's neck, “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be an easy fix.”

“It never is with us,” you said.

“Trust me, I know. I’m good at this stuff.” You could see behind Tony’s eyes just how helpless he was feeling. “I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

“Am I the only one here who didn’t understand a word of that?” you asked the table, “No? Am I being ignored? That’s nice.”

You weren’t being ignored, however. If the smirk, that was quickly wiped away, that Natasha wore was any indication.

“Well, I’m here to tell you, you haven't tried them all.”

“Well... on that note.” You spoke, “I think it’s time I took my leave.”

“I’m still mad at you,” Tony told you childishly.

Well... two could play at that game.

“Yeah, well at least Rhodey and Pepper aren’t mad at me,” you fired back, as you got up from your seat. Practically hearing the man's jaw drop behind you.

***

“Antony Stark!” you yelled, as you strolled through the open door to Pepper’s office.

“What did I do now?”

“What do you mean, ‘what did you do now’?” you seethed at him, coming closer.

“Anything else, boss?” Happy asked.

“I’m good, Hap.”

“No, I’ll be just... another minute,” Tony and Pepper said at the same time.

“Well, that was awkward,” you said.

“I lost all three of the kids in the divorce,” Tony laughed at his own joke. “Nothing?” he asked quietly, glancing over his shoulder at you and The Head Of Security. “No.”

Tony cleared his throat.

Oh, don’t do it.

“Are you blending in well here, Natalie? Here at Stark Enterprises?”

You were so gonna throttle him.

“Your name is Natalie, isn’t it.”

Murder.

That’s what shone in your eyes, as your nostrils flared, just as it did Natasha’s.

“I thought you two didn’t get along,” the billionaire gestured between the two.

He better shut his mouth.

“No. That’s not so,” Pepper told him.

“It’s just me you don’t care for.” Pepper said nothing in reply. “No? Nothing?”

“Actually, while you’re here, maybe you and Natalie could discuss the matter of the personal belongings.”

“Absolutely,” Natasha said.

“Which loosely translates to, ‘get your shit out of my office’,” you informed the man.

“Yes, I got that. Thank you, Y/N.” You nodded your head once at him, with a fake smile plastered upon your face. You were so gonna kick his ass.

Tony watched as Pepper walked away. The blonde giving you a short nod as she passed you, and exited the office with Happy.

“I’m surprised you could keep your mouth shut,” Natasha said, as soon as the coast was clear. Making Tony spin around in the chair once again.

“Boy, you’re good. You are mind-blowingly duplicitous. How do you do it? You just tear things... you’re a triple imposter.” Tony turned to you. “Can you do that?”

“Of course I can, I'm a professional.”

“How did you even get into this business?”

“Later,” you told him.

“I’ve never seen anything like you,” he continued, turning back to Natasha, “Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin?”

“Fallaces sunt rerum species,” Natasha responds immediately, gathering up documents, and beginning to take her leave.

“It turns out she can.” You shrugged.

“Which means? Wait. What? What did you just say?”

“It means you can drive yourself home or I can have you, and Miss Y/L/N, collected.”

“Wait what did I do?” You asked insulted, “Also, that’s not what she said.”

Natasha chose not to answer you. Instead, choosing to say, “Control him.”

“You think I can?” You asked the shorter woman, spinning to watch her walk away as you did.

“Hey!” Tony whined behind you. “You’re good!” he called to the red-head, as she slammed the door.

“Well...” You looked at Tony. “That was a shit-show. What the hell are you doing?” you asked, as he fiddled with one of Pepper’s ornaments. “What? Not talking to me?” Sighing he stood up, taking a bite out of a strawberry, before dumping the rest into the trash. “That’s a waste. And, yeah, no it's fine. I didn’t want any, anyway.”

You sighed, throwing your head back in exasperation, as you watched the man looking at the scale-model up against the wall. Who was currently peering through his hand, as if it was some sort of a telescope.

It really was like having a child dealing with him, sometimes... most times.

“Help me with this.”

“What?”

***

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THIS PLACE?!” you roared, taking in all of the destruction around.

Yep. You were never having kids.

“I made a new element!” Tony told you proudly.

“You. Made. A new. Element.”

“Yes? Why is that so hard to understand?”

“I-... How?!”

“It’s all... science stuff. You really want me to tell you?” Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

“No. Not really.”

You took another look around the place, slowly inhaling and exhaling, as you nodded your head. “Well. Well done.”

“Thanks. It worked,” Tony said, showing you his chest.

“Good, I’m glad.” You smiled. “Now... why are you assembling a suit?”

“Vanko’s still alive.”

You stared blankly at Tony for a moment. Watching him. Making sure that he wasn’t bullshitting you. When you deducted, that he was in fact, telling the truth, you asked, “He’s what?”

***

The absolute deafening cheering going on around you did nothing to drown out the sound of your heartbeat pounding away in your ears, as you were bent over your encased legs, hands on your knees, hoping that you could manage to pant away your incoming panic attack.

You had to.

You had a job to do right now.

Vaguely you registered Tony say, “We got trouble” inside of your metal helmet.

“Tony, there are civilians present,” Rhodey said, as you followed Tony on unsteady legs, “I’m here on orders. Let’s not do this right now.”

“God,” you breathed, “I hated every second of that.”

You mirrored the man you thought of as your brother, on Rhodey’s other side. Waving to the crowd, as Tony told you too.

“All these people are in danger. We gotta get them out of here,” Tony said, “You gotta trust me for the next five minutes.”

“Yeah, I tried that. I got tossed around your house, remember?”

“Listen, I think he’s working with Vanko.”

“Of course the sonofabitch is,” you growled, glaring at the man through the mask of your borrowed suit.

“Vanko’s alive?” Rhodey asked, slightly sceptical. Which he had a right too. God, knows how you didn’t want to belive Tony. But you knew he believed Tony, he would never lie about this.

As Tony squared up to Hammer, asking him about Venko. You scanned the crowd, looking for two people in particular.

“Found Natasha and Pepper,” you notified him.

“Who’s Natasha?” Rhodey asked. You we’re about to answer him, before he continued, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.”

“What’s up-? Holy shit!”

You jumped back in alarm, at the giant mini-gun attached to Rhodey’s back, moved to aim at Tony.

“Is that you?” Tony asked.

“No. That- I’m not doing that. I’m not doing that,” he stuttered, you could hear the panic rising in his voice, “I can’t move. I’m locked up. I’m locked up!”

"Motherfucker!" you hollered, stumbling back, as the military-themed drones pointed their arms towards Tony, too. Getting ready to fire.

"Get out of her. Go! This whole system's been compromised," Rhodey ordered.

"Y/N, with me," Tony said, "Let's take this outside."

"Oh, God, that means I have to fly again."

And with that, he blasted off, with you hot on his trail. As the drones and Rhodey's compromised suit started to rain fire on Tony, and consequently, you... and the glass ceiling. I think Vanko might have taken that phrase a little too seriously.

"Uh-Oh." You wished you hadn't looked down now. "Tony, incoming."

"Jarvis, break-in. I need to own him."

"Weird way to word it there, buddy," you quipped, "Are we really fucking doing this?"

"Yep. We're really fucking doing this."

***

"Tony?" You asked as you landed next to the crashed men, "How good did you say the filtration in the suit was?"

"It's pristine. Why?"

"Because I just pissed myself."

Just then Tony and Rhodey -Or rather, Rhodey's suit- began fighting.

"Oh, shit, Tony! How do you work this hunk of metal?!"

"Just go with your instinct's!"

"Oh, yeah. That helps!" you yelled, looking at your palms, where the repulsers lay. "Come on, you piece of shit! WORK!"

Well, you got it to work. However, the bright light shot out and hit you square in your mask. But, hey! You still got it two work! Silver-lining people!

"Ow," you uttered as you fell, landing on your back in a daze.

To say you were useless with these things, was an understatement.

You finally regained yourself, a few long seconds later. And had seen that Tony had managed to kick Rhodey's ass, as you got up on wobbly legs.

"Hey, guys? Can we not tell Natasha what just happened?"

"Not tell me what?"

You jumped at the sudden sound of her voice. Since when did she have access to talk through the suit?

"Nothing!" you spoke hastily.

Natasha hummed, not believing you, moving on to her next point, "Reboot complete. You got your best friend back."

"Thank you very much, Agent Romanoff."

"Well done with the new chest piece. I am reading significantly higher output and all your vitals look promising."

"Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you."

"This moment better last long," you mumbled.

"What do you mean you're not dying?" Pepper? When did she get here? "Did you say you're dying."

Oh, God. This is awkward. It's so awkward.

"Is that you? No, I'm not. Not anymore."

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I was going to tell you. I didn't want to alarm you."

"You were going to tell me? You really were dying?"

You were glad the suit hid the cringe on your face, as you were trapped here, to bare witness to this, a confession. Your metal hand coming up to scratch, uselessly, at your metal helmet, out of awkward discomfort.

"You didn't let me-"

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Pepper interrupted.

"I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you."

"Yeah, because omelettes make death confessions, so much better," you quipped, only to have it fall on deaf ears.

"Hey, hey. Save it for the honeymoon."

"Yeah, because they're gonna fight on their honeymoon..." You took all of a second to think about it, before changing your statement. "You know what, I don't doubt that."

"You've got incoming guys," Natasha continued. "Looks like the fight's coming to you."

"Awesome," you said sarcastically.

"Try to hit them and not yourself this time," Tony told you.

After this was done... he's a dead man.

"Pepper?"

Oh no, not this again.

"Are you okay now?"

"I'm fine. Don't be mad. I will formally apologize-"

"I am mad!" she yelled, and you sighed, getting into a fighting stance.

"-When I'm not fending off a Hammeroid attack.

"Fine."

"We could have been in Venice."

"And I could have been asleep."

"What is it with you and sleep?" Natasha asked.

"It's sleep!"

***

“She fights like a badass,” Happy breathed, inside you helmets. While you watched as drones landed all around you.

“I know, I’ve seen her.”

“Stalking much?” You could hear the smirk in her voice.

“You say that like you didn’t look me up when you found out I was an Agent.”

“You’re an Agent?!” Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper yelled at the same time.

“Old news guys, however makeshift terminators over here? New news.”

And then the fighting started.

Just like you would be on the field, splatters of battle coted you. But rather than blood, this time it was oil that painted your suit, as you tore, shot, and blew up drones.

Okay. So the suit wasn't all bad.

Tony told you and Rhodes to 'get down'. You watched as bright neon red lasers, chopped through the drones -and trees-, like a hot knife through butter.

"Can you show me how to do that?" you asked.

***

"Heads up. You got one more drone incoming," Natasha said. "This one looks different."

"What?" you asked, "Like it's got a makeover?"

"No," she said clearly, "Like the repulser signature is significantly higher."

"So, it's a boss drone then?"

Any reply Natasha had for you were cut off, thanks to the giant-sized Iron Man suit landing in front of you.

Oh, could this get any worse?

Yes. Yes, it could.

The real-life, yet no way friendly, Iron-Giant's face retracted back. Revealing, Ivan Vanko.

"God, that's not a good makeover."

"I swear to God, Y/N, I will disable your microphone."

"Hey, you two. Stop flirting," Rhodey said.

"Good to be back," Vanko said. Unknown to what you were saying, and, thankfully, to how your cheeks tinted red at Rhodey's words.

"Oh, this ain't gonna be good."

"Yeah, you're telling me," you agreed. "Ah! Whippy-things!" You moved back, startled, at Vankos sudden weapons.

"I got something special for this guy." Rhodey strutted up towards him. "I'm gonna bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife."

"The what now, please?"

"With the what?" You and Tony asked at the same time.

You waited in anticipation, watching as the shoulder of Rhodey's suit opened, and counted down. Blasting off a tiny missile right at Vanko. Which hit him. Then dropped to the ground, and fizzled out.

"Hammer tech?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah."

You flew up into the sky, shooting Vanko from above, as the other two fought on the ground. It was gonna take a lot to bring this sonofabitch down. Tony flew up to join you but didn't get far, as two bright blue whips latched themselves onto both you and Tony. Smashing Tony into a rock. And flinging you into a corner of the closed-off park. The last thing you heard before blacking out, was their voices shouting your name.

***

You awoke as you were flying through the air.

No, wait.

You weren't flying.

You were heaved over Rhoedy's shoulder, as he flew.

"What the hell's going on?"

"Hey, glad to see you're awake." Rhodey's smile could be heard in his voice. "The drones are set to self destruct."

"Did we beat him?"

"Yeah, we did," he said, as explosions were heard and seen, all across your view.

"Oh, my God! I can't take this anymore."

Great. Just when you had thought you had finally gained a minute of peace.

"You can't-?"

God, was this just their relationship?

"I can't take this."

"-Look at me."

Yep.

"My body, literally, cannot handle the stress." You peered up at Rhodey, from your seat on the floor, the man only shrugging at your silent question of, 'what the fuck?'. You both turning back to watch the two lovebirds have their spat. "I never know if you're gonna kill yourself or wreck the whole company."

“I think I did okay!” Tony defended himself when there was a sudden explosion far in the background.

“Dumbass,” you mumbled, only the man sitting beside you able to hear what you said. Him chuckling lightly at your words.

"I quit. I'm resigning," Pepper panted, "That's it."

"What did you just say? You're done?"

Did they really have to do this shit in front of you?

Did they really have to be so blind, not to notice you and Rhodey right beside them?

Did you really have to have no popcorn to enjoy, as you watched this?

"That's surprising," Tony said, walking towards her, "No, it's not surprising. I get it. You don't have to make any excuses."

Pepper stuttered. "I'm not making any excuses."

You eyes rolled as far back into your head as they possibly could. Luckily for you, missing some of what the bickering couple said.

"You deserve better."

"Well..."

"You've taken such good care of me." Were those... tears in Tony's voice? "I've been in a tough spot, but you got me through it, so... right?"

They muttered some words that you couldn't hear all that well.

Blah, Blah, Blah.

And then they kissed.

A look of disgust appearing upon your face. And you were thankful that you, in fact, did not have that popcorn, you whished for not long ago.

"I thought it was weird." You snapped back into reality, from your unexpected daze, at Rhodey's words.

Thank, God. They had stopped kissing.

"You guys look like two seals fighting over a grape."

“Hey, hey, now Rhodey." You put your hand up to the man. "That's an insult to seals and grapes."

Rhodey laughed beside you, as the previously kissing couple grew uncomfortable and fidgety.

"Don't even try to make excuses," you told them.

"Yeah, we heard the whole thing."

“You two should get lost,” Tony says to you and Rhodey.

"We were here first," the Colonel defended. "Get a roof."

"Yeah, and I'm fine, by the way. Thank's for asking." You smirked.

"I thought you two were out of one-liners."

"That's the last one."

"Speak for yourself," you said standing up. "Oh, also. I am never getting into one of these flying hell suits ever again.”

“Aww, don't say that. You’ll hurt its feelings.”

"I don't care."

"Oh, yeah? Well, how are you gonna get home then?"

"After I get home," you clarified. "I am never getting into one of these things, ever again."

“Don’t lie. You like the suit. Now,” he said, gesturing his head to the side, “Go get your girl.”

“What? There’s no way I’m going anywhere near one of those things.”

Oh, she was still here, was she?

“Oh, c’mon Romanoff.” You smirked, taking flight, “Fly away with me.”

“Not a chance.”

You landed in front of the red-head, exiting the building. Startling her as you did.

"Agent Romanoff." You smirked, throwing your arms out by your sides. If she didn't know better, Natasha would have assumed you were Tony. "Your ride has arrived."

"Get away from me."

***

“So...” you started, looking towards the red-head standing beside you, looking out onto the ocean below you, “Wanna go out on a date?”

Natasha turned to face you properly, a small smile on her face, “I thought you’d never ask, Y/L/N.” Stepping closer, her hand on your bicep, she continued, “Tonight. We’ll watch a movie in my cabin.”

You smiled.

“Only a movie,” she clarified, “No funny business.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Romanoff.”

[silver-wield]

body language analysis: tifa and cloud train scene!! go!

Oh, Nonny, you made my morning with this!! I mean, it's not like I haven't touched on Cloud and Tifa's body language in gif reblogs, but an actual post dedicated to one of the best moments of the game? YAY!!

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

So, the corkscrew tunnel scene – or clotiscrew tunnel as I've seen it called – begins with Avalanche caught by the sensors on the train. After a timed fight – which, yes, it's possible to lose, but it's also clear this is a “bad ending” where you've made Cloud look like an incompetent dick who can't even handle a few drones – we see Barret mustering his courage and leaping from the train (he's so damn cute sometimes, I'm gonna have to do a post about his development with Cloud at some point).

The action then cuts to Tifa, frozen in front of the door, too afraid to jump (you can hear her whimpering). Cloud calls her name, deals with the last drone and comes over. Now, in the OG, obviously they all jump one after the other because polygons and popeye arms would've just looked like a total mess and Square admitted they neglected Cloti to highlight all the relationship development between Clerith since she dies later.

Cut to 2020 and we get this. Damn, Square, if I didn't already love you for pretty much my entire life already I'd have fallen for you all over again. In fact, I think I probably did.

Ok, I'm done gushing. Kinda.

I think the first thing I have to point out is that Cloud, at no point, needed to do this. He could have verbally encouraged Tifa to jump without the need for physical support at all. After all, the train's slowing down and she was fine in the OG, so who's to say she wouldn't be fine now, too? By calling her name and fixing her attention on him he's actually stalling her jump.

You'll notice that Tifa doesn't take her eyes off the tracks (before this screen obvs since I can see that’s her feet, work with me here), which is fitting since she's zeroed in on that fearful moment and actually can't move without help. Cloud's face in this is displaying typical tension you'd expect in a high energy scene. He's concerned for Tifa, but he's also focused on dealing with the mechs, which he does very quickly. Now, you could argue he did that to get on with the mission, or you could argue he did that because he saw Tifa needed him and his focus shifted to her. And watching the seconds following him turning to look at her, I'd say there's evidence towards the latter because he's actually lost focus on the last mech and it attacks him first causing him to block and parry.

This is the first instance of touching in this scene, and until this point, Tifa hadn't moved or acknowledged Cloud. He needed to physically draw her from her thoughts and you'll hear a surprised exhale from her as she turns to look at him, showing she was lost within herself until he drew her out. Cloud is obviously looking at the tracks, judging his next move. He's already planning what he has to do to keep both of them safe, which is clear from his decisive nod, along with a reassuring, but grim, smile, before pulling Tifa out the door. Remember, I said he could’ve verbally got her attention. He didn’t. He chose touch.

See what I mean about janky quality? Anyway, this is clear concern about Tifa's safety, but also, remember, Cloud is on the mission because Tifa said she felt trapped and he's related that back to their promise that she needs a hero. He's being her hero.

Okay, we're getting to the meat of things now.

First, fucking ouch, he definitely looks pained, meaning that whole manoeuvre wasn't as smooth as he pretended. As they slow down, he puts a bracing hand against the ground to prevent him rolling onto Tifa (because he's a gent and also toting a sword that weighs more than Barret lol).

What's interesting is where his left hand is in this. Make a note: middle of her back. Tifa's head is tucked into Cloud's neck – safety move, so nothing big there. I've seen some people note Tifa's leg is between Cloud's, but I'm gonna discount that as the way they've locked together during the roll. It's unintentional.

Oh, but this isn't! Cloud has absolutely no reason to put his hand back on Tifa. He could leave it lying flat on the ground. You could argue he needs both to help her get off him, but she's on top. She can do that herself. He has no further need past the initial save to have his hands on her, unless that's what he wants. Obviously we can't see his face in this because of Tifa's hair, but this, combined with the next screen tell a very definite story.

He moved his hand! That left hand, he didn't need to move it up in such a caressing gesture. Coupled with the very intense gaze he gives her, I was swooning like a maiden wearing a too tight corset lol

Now, you could argue he's just concerned, it's a high tension situation. Well, I argue that every single trope using this kind of scene results in sexual tension/flustered characters and/or a kiss. Remember, right at this second, he has no reason to still be lying with her like this. In fact, him moving his hand further up her back is a bracing gesture that would keep her close, not release her. Tifa's fists are balled against his chest, which signifies she's protecting her hands – she's a hand-to-hand fighter remember -- but her face is relaxed. She's not feeling awkward or eager to escape.

Eye contact!! Can I just leave it at that? No? Cloud isn't actually the type to keep prolonged eye contact. Oh, did you think I was about to say something else? Well, for literally anyone who hasn't paid attention to him, Cloud often looks away when he feels awkward, flustered, unsure, basically any negative emotion. The only time he looks anyone in the eye is when he's confronting them or at ease. Remember, even when Jessie teased him about smiling during chapter 4 he looked away, embarrassed. Cloud doesn't handle eye contact well. Which is why this is such a huge deal. He's keeping prolonged eye contact with Tifa. He doesn't look away from her eyes when he asks if she's ok. And that question – ah my heart! So soft and tender. You can hear the care and concern in his tone. It anchors the entire scene from start to finish. Everything he just did was because he cares about Tifa and wants to look after her. He wants to make sure she's ok, even if it means he suffers for it. Pretty sure some people will disagree with this, but the damn man wore a dress and went through a humiliating dance routine – humiliating for him, I fucking loved it – just to save her. His first words in Wall Market are he wants to save Tifa, but Aerith cuts him off before he can finish the sentence.

These are the moments that I have to go back over a million times to catch. Check the tiny eye narrowing and uplift at the corner of his mouth. She said she's ok and he's happy about it. He's her hero – in not so many words. Tifa's shaky reply and pale face confirm her shock and fear, but also you can see an easing of the tension in her. There's a subtle softening of her muscle definition and facial expression that displays the trust and belief she has in Cloud that he'd look after her. This is a very mutually appreciative moment between them. Definitely not one sided.

And then the moment is over, without any flustered blushing or stammering, and thank God there wasn't because that would be so ooc I just can't with it. Cloud, despite being an awkward af dork who doesn't know how to deal with women hitting on him, doesn't turn into a flustered 14 year old trying to tell his crush he's leaving Nibelheim whenever they have contact. We've already seen smooth!Cloud giving Tifa a flower and complimenting her like a cheeky bastard. He can handle being around her because he feels comfortable. He can compliment her because of that, too. He might be slightly separated from those childhood feelings, but they're in there and they're motivating him to be outgoing towards her. To show her the cool SOLDIER he became that's worthy of being beside her.

But, yeah, back to the point. The moment is over. Or is it? Because that is some very further prolonged eye contact between them when there doesn't have to be. Tifa moves back, Cloud moves forward, they're both getting up and yet, they're both looking at each other. I don't know about you, but I find it easier to look where I'm going when I've fallen on my ass and need to get up. I sure af don't stare longingly into someone's eyes like I can't bear not to.

And now it really is over because right after this the mechs arrive. But before that, some more prolonged eye contact. There literally is no need for them to do this at this point. Tifa looks pensive, but I think that's her default tbf. Yet, at the same time, there's an intensity in her gaze like she wants to say something – maybe it's just a thank you, that would turn into a flirty conversation of some sort “you didn't need to do that,” “I wanted to” kind of deal – so it makes sense they're interrupted because Square said they didn’t want to overdo the amount of Cloti content they added and this is already a very charged scene.

Meanwhile, Cloud is looking at her like she's his entire world and he's just waiting for her to realise it. There's an aura of expectation in his pose and face. They're both crouching in mirrored poses, which as some of you may know is what you do when you're trying to build rapport with someone. It's basic body language building blocks. Toddlers do this. They're both on one knee, slightly leaning forward. Now, if there was no rapport between them, if they wanted to end the moment, one of them would stand up, breaking the mirrored pose and cutting off eye contact. This would put one above the other and show an imbalance in their relationship. This doesn't happen. They both turn at the same time, rise at the same time and fight pose at the same time.

Conclusion:

Seriously? After all that you can't draw your own?

Ok, I'll be fair to the other side. Let's take away Cloud's history with Tifa – since that's the biggest argument for them: the childhood crush trope.

If Cloud and Tifa weren't friends, just colleagues on a mission, this scene would still be hella charged with sexual tension and implication that Cloud has a thing for her. Even if it's just basic sexual attraction, that's still attraction and a marker on the pathway to a relationship.

But, they are friends, so moving on.

Tifa is the more reserved one in this dynamic. She's naturally shy – it's canon – but even with that, she's affected by Cloud. She holds that eye contact. Her voice is equally soft as his. She mirrors his pose. She doesn't try to get away the second they stop moving. Cloud is the one to move things along, without awkwardness because he's comfortable with Tifa. He's not out of sorts having her lying on top of him – which you can argue means he's not interested, but I literally just pointed out all the ways in which he is into her. Being comfortable in someone's company doesn't mean a person isn't attracted to them. If I had to stick a pin in Cloud's sexuality I'd say he's on the demi scale, meaning he needs to have a deep emotional connection to whoever he's with before he falls in love with them. He's not a love at first sight kind of guy.

This fits with the childhood crush trope. Cloud's known Tifa for years and developed an attraction to her that still lingers, making a reconnection between them easier. He's not slobbering over her because he's Cloud and very stoic – I know people say his true self isn't like this, but it is only with more insecurity and desire to prove himself. He's still a very reserved guy with a dry sense of humour. He's prone to melancholy and self doubt, which is why his friends bolster his confidence so much.

Point is, everything in this scene showcases a deep and meaningful relationship between the two of them at its best, while at its most shallow it shows Cloud is sexually attracted to Tifa, which is something that could develop into a more meaningful relationship later. Either way, it's a marked moment in their interactions that Cloud's non-optional choices led to it. There's no either/or within this. It happened.

[hiddles-evans-hallucinations]

Show Me

Request: “can i request? reader is typically not that affectionate but would cuddle&sometimes sit on someones lap when shes drunk. Lately Chris is alway the ones she goes to when drunk bc hes always nice to her&goes along with it but one day she overhears him kinda complaining about it so shes stops going to him and instead goes to tom holland since the two are close from working together and are about the same age. After a while Chris starts noticing that she doesn’t go to him anymore and gets jealous” - By Anon

Pairing: Chris Evans x  Famous Reader

Genre: Fluff, Young-adults,  

Warnings: 18+, sensitive background, explicit language, age gap

Note: Oh another famous reader and all that, I love eeht! Thank you for the request! My request are still open btw! And please also let me know if you want your request to be short or long. Hope you enjoy this! 

Tag list: @patzammit​ - tag list are open! Lemme know through my inbox! <3

*gifs are not mine*

You were known by the public because your dad is an actor, even though you don’t go out with paparazzi, a lot of friends are way more famous than you. Famous like your dad or even more. Like Tom Holland, Chris Evans, Justin Bieber, Sebastian Stan, and also because you dated some famous people in the past, Chris Pine, Orlando Bloom, Nicholas Hoult and Niall Horan. You are a very social person but those who knows you well know enough that you are not affectionate enough, it just happens when you’re drunk; a complete clingy and lovey dovey person. And you agreed that it’s one of the reason why your past relationships never worked out. 

You agreed to go to Ellen’s birthday party and when it comes to Ellen’s parties, you know you’re gonna get fucked up. You never know how she keeps it up, and she knows for sure that you’re not a lightweight drinker, a heavy one if you have to say but it all come crashing down when she’s the one that’s hosting the party. 

“Aw shit.” you said over the phone when she called, you are just around the corner near her house. “I’m about to go home.” you added as you hear Ellen’s laugh with the music blasting in the background. 

“Hey, come on! It’s my birthday!” 

“Fine!” You said, Portia take over the phone and say, “I can’t believe you’re about to say no to your godmother.” oh and Ellen is your godmother. 

“Fine, fine! I’m pulling over!” 

You hung up and look down at what you’re wearing. You frown, you were just done with work; you’re a fashion designer who owns your own clothing brand. You know that when it’s Ellen’s birthday, the paparazzi would follow you to your office that day in downtown LA. 

When you were about to walk out of your car, Tom calls. 

You answer by not saying anything, he hates it when you do it. “Where are you?” he asks as you spray perfume all over you. “Ellen’s.” “Oh, I’m almost there too!” 

You raise your brow at him. “She invites you?” 

“I think it was a mistake, she was talking to RDJ and I happen to be there in the middle of them talking-” 

“Oh my god, bye.” 

“See you, my darling!” 

You roll your eyes and hung up at him. You know where to park at Ellen’s, it’s basically your second home and you don’t need a valet to take your car for you. 

You walk in greeted by Portia. “Beyonce is here.” she whispers. 

“No way?” 

“Yes way!” she squealed, knowing that you love Beyonce so much, your mouth hangs open. 

Ellen pecks your head, “Happy birthday, godmother.” you joked as she rolled her eyes at you. 

You walk into the bar and get yourself gin and tonic as a hand landed on your back, you turn around and find Sebastian Stan. “What’s up, lady!” he screamed. You smiled and find a lot of the Avengers actors is here, you spotted Chris looking at you across the room. You partied with these guys more than anyone, since you’re only a year older than Tom, you spend a lot of your time socializing and not touching people. Seb used to say, “LOL at you cause hugging is good for you.” but you can’t help it, your parents divorced because your mom was so abusive, and since then you never liked it when people touches you. 

Seb says, "Your dance partner is right there." he pointed his head to Chris' direction. You flushed, your head went back to the text Anthony Mackie sent you where you were dancing all night with Chris and got a little bit too comfortable. Every time you party and there’s Chris, you don’t know why you’re always open to be affectionate and it only happens when you’re drunk. 

“(Y/N)!” Tom screamed from across the room, you were sure that everyone who heard him gave him a look. You give him a one-arm hug, he laughed knowing that this is as far as you can get and it’s still progress. You worked with Tom before and have become closer after and it’s also because you’re the same age as him, just a year older.

After you said hi to everyone, Chris smiled at you, you blushed. 

How embarrassing is this, (Y/N)? You said to yourself as Anthony came in with tequila shots. You shot him a look and he smirks, “Come on, we wanna see you dance like few weeks ago. I heard you still do ballet? No wonder why you can move like that, they say.. girls who ballet will shake that ass and bring a shock therapy to men like us.” Your eyes shot open that it almost fell out of it place. 

“Jesus Christ, Anthony, what the fuck?” You said taking the shot from his hand and shoot it down your throat. “Hey, come on, you can dance, embrace it.” he was about to put his arms around you but know your boundaries. 

“Oops, okay, hug you later.” he hands you another shot. 

After eight-glasses of gin and tonic, one screwdriver, too many tequila shots, you finally take off your outer and started to make your way to Anthony who’s pulling the invisible robe to his way. You threw your head back, as you walk to the dance floor, everyone cheers you as you laugh. 

Chris looks at you, licking his lower lip, young blood, he thought, every time (Y/N) gets to this point, she dances like no other, and when she grinds on him, he wants to do things to her. And he knows that she dances with everyone platonically but sometimes he wish more. 

“Girls have fun” by Tyga started to play in the background, you were dancing with a glass in hand, Seb lights up his cigarette as Anthony dance enjoying himself and the music. 

You saw Chris sitting down, you walk to him and grab both of his hands but he’s way stronger than you so you fall onto his lap. This is what the picture looked like at the party few weeks ago. You find yourself wrapping your hands around his neck as he chuckles. When you sat on his lap it could be all night, you’d have conversations and he even stayed at your place, doing nothing but cuddling. 

You both are friends and you guys hang out a lot, partying together a lot, so you see it as a platonic gesture when you’re affectionate and clingy towards him when you’re drunk. Tom was one of the victim of your drunk clinginess, he still does sometimes but when he’s not in LA and every party you attend there’s Chris and he’s the closest friend you have out of everyone in the room, mostly. 

“I got more money than her ex!” people sang the line of “Nothin’ Like Me” by Chris Brown as you drag Chris to the dance floor, your hands wrapped around his. He laughed and just when he place both his hands on your waist the music changed to “Beware” by Big Sean. 

This is yours, Mackie’s and Chris’ favorite song to sing out at parties. 

Okay, skeet, smoke Sleep, call Miss, text Woke, spoke Lie, feel, Lisa ew Time, kill, months, still.

“I got somebody baby calling me daddy!” Anthony and Chris shouted. 

They look at you to finish the other line as you scrunch your hair up and sang, “I drink too much please call me a cabby.” they both laughed at you, the room smells like nothing but alcohol. The music never seem to stop. 

All of you went to sit to talk, you sit in between Tom and Chris, you rest your head on Chris’ shoulder. But when you were about to get water, you feel dizzy and landed on Chris’ lap. “Oh this is comfortable, as always.” you slurred. 

Chris looks at (Y/N) as she sits on his lap, he enjoys it usually, but now it’s getting annoying, she just keeps sitting on his lap, and it only happens when she’s drunk, she feels like she’s doing this to take advantage of him and not caring about what he might feels of this.

“Okay, I got to go home.” 

Chris sighs in relief as (Y/N) make her way out after hugging everyone and kissing his cheek. 

I don’t know how long she’s gonna keep it up, Chris thought. 

. . . .  

A month have passed since Ellen’s birthday party, you were fucked the next morning and you keep on telling everyone at your HQ to stop screaming when they’re not. You drink coffee like a lunatic at meetings and you never want to take your shades off that day. 

Tonight, you’re in New York, and you are invited by Seb, he said it’s kind of a Marvel casts party but everyone’s bring everybody, it’s kind of intimate party but not really, the party where everyone know each other, so, why not invite you when you’re also in town. 

You can see paparazzi outside as you walk in covering your face. You were wearing the same outfit from opening another store in Manhattan and you didn’t want to change because it’s too much work. 

“Looking good, Miss (Y/L/N)!” The paparazzi called out but you ignore him. 

You walk out of the elevator of the penthouse and Scarlett Johansson pulls you in for a hug immediately, not caring about you think and also because she’s already tipsy. “Why are you late?! Everyone is almost drunk!” you laughed, trying to ignore the fact that she’s still hugging you now. 

You notice that it’s not as crowded as you thought it’d be. 

You excuse yourself to go the bathroom to fix your makeup. You open the door and leans closer on the mirror to check on your makeup. You reapply your lipstick and add some more blush just slightly. 

You were putting your things back to your clutch when you hear Chris’ and Anthony’s voice. 

“Is (Y/N) gonna be here?” Chris asks. 

“Yeah, Scarlett told me she’s already here.” 

Chris groans, you stop yourself from being seen by them. “What’s up with you?” 

“It’s just, when she’s drunk, she’s like clingy and sitting on my lap and stuff, it gets... annoying.” your heart sinks. 

You’re trying to not be so hard on yourself and say, “Told ya, it’s gonna be like this when you’re affectionate.” to yourself. 

“Dude? What? Anyone will take her, but remember, you know her. Platonic Evans... Platonic.” You hear their footsteps fades as you walk out. 

You were avoiding Chris the whole night, you stayed with Tom and talk with RDJ, Scarlett and Mark. The party isn’t as loud as Ellen’s, everyone can still talk to each other without yelling. 

You’ve been drinking and you can feel it hits fast and right. “I’m sorry if I’m gonna be handsy and clingy to you.” You said to Tom. Tom looks at you weird, “What? You are the person that everyone waits to get drunk so they can have your arms all around you.” he pulls you into his lap as you continue to talk. 

Chris watches you from across the room, he knows when your eyes are different from all the alcohol, you’ll be where you are right now. But, he feels something was off. You didn’t say hi to him, you waited for Mackie to come to you to say hi, you talk with Seb then to everybody but him. Usually, this time you’d take his hands to dance or you’d just sit on his lap, but not tonight. You hold onto Tom, talking to him, laughing with him. 

Chris would see it as normal, but tonight because you’re avoiding and he noticed it, it feels different. He wanted to be Tom or at least get you away from Tom. 

You feel sick, and Tom can feel it. He turns you around so you are facing as he ask, “You okay?” you shook your head no. 

“Have you eaten today?” 

“No.” 

“Why? That’s why you’re off too fast.” he said, rubbing your back. Chris sees how your skirt lifts up a little bit too high revealing your thighs when Tom shifts you around to face him. 

I don’t like what I see, Chris thought to himself. 

You rest your head against Tom’s cheeks, Anthony walks in and mouth “Is she okay?” Tom chuckles, shaking his head no as he continues to rub your back. Anthony grabs you a glass of water and hands it to Tom. 

But, before he can give it to you, you feel like everything’s gonna come out.

You sit up straight and say, “I need to go.” covering your mouth, Chris was fast and you didn’t even know where you came from as he throw you over his shoulder and take you to the closest restroom. 

You can feel your head spinning those drinks you just counted keeps on adding up and not to mention, you’re in this state fast because you haven’t eat and you drink with your usual amount of serving. 

Chris holds up your hair as everything came out through your throat that feel nothing but bitterness and sourness. Oh, great, you thought. 

He helped you up once you’re done, but you avoid his eyes still. You wash your mouth, opening the drawer and find a new toothbrush and brush your teeth and tongue. 

You feel disgusting from all the vomit. 

Chris looks at you, wondering what happened all these weeks you two went to party together all touchy but tonight, you’re so distant. 

Once you’re done brushing your teeth, Chris said, “come.” you just look at him through the mirror before turning to him. 

He holds out his hand but you rejeted his offer by gesturing him lead-the-way with your hands. 

Chris took you to the kitchen that’s far from all of the crowds. “Here, drink this.” he hands you a cup of americano. 

“Thanks.” you said, grabbing your phone out of your clutch, only finding that it’s already 2 AM. 

You text back your friends, and texted Tom back.

T: I’m going. Please, let me know when you’re home. 

(Y/N): Sobering up, thank you. See you soon. 

You keep on finding apps to open to avoid Chris’ eyes that seems to never leave you out his sight. You don’t feel anything but embarrassed, and you want this to stop; being all touchy and affectionate only when you’re intoxicated.

“Look at me,” 

You ignore him, opening Instagram and uploads a picture of you and Tom drinking together as RDJ posed with his arms crossed over his chest on your Insta Story. 

“(Y/N).” 

“What?” You said looking up to him, placing your phone on the counter. Chris holds up his hands in defeat hearing your tone. You look down, ashamed. You’re full on sober now, but you hate the fact that you are because now you have to talk to him. 

Chris said, “I don’t like seeing you with Tom like that.” you give him a are-you-serious look. 

“Why? Are you jealous?” You scoff. 

“Yeah, I think I am jealous.” 

“You think? I thought it’s annoying when I sit on your lap and be all handsy.” 

His eyes widens. “Wha.. what?”

“I heard you, Evans, and I’m fucking sorry I did all of that and made you uncomfortable, I couldn’t fucking help it, but you don’t really have to say that.” you said, you never even confront anyone, you avoid conflicts, but you feel like you need to say it to him since you both are friends. 

Chris make his way to you as you lean against the counter. “I’m sorry you have to hear that, I know, I know, I’m a dick for saying those things. But..” he place a hand on your waist as you hold your breath trying to not panic. 

“Why are you only doing it when there’s alcohol involved? You know I’d want you to do it and be okay with it when you’re not intoxicated.” 

You roll your eyes at him, “Chris, you know me long enough to know I can’t have people touching me.” He briefly looks at your lips then back to you. 

“And whatever it is with Tom is none of your business.” you added, but you don’t shifts away from his hand on you. 

“I’m sorry, but I still don’t like it.” 

“Well, you don’t like it either when I’m on you, so.” you shrug, looking away. Chris turns you around and press your body against his so close that you gasps. “I don’t like you on me when you’re intoxicated, but this..” he breathes against your neck. 

“I’m here for it.” 

You find yourself smiling. “So, you’re jealous?” he nodded as he rest his chin on the side of your head, he’s too tall to have his chin on your shoulder. 

You take a deep breath to place your hand on top of him. “I am, very much. I might have to show you how jealous I am.” 

You gasp and turn to him. “Oh no, you’re not.” 

Chris chuckled, amused before cupping your face. “People desire your touch and I long for it with you in a state like this.” he leans forward, his face is an inch away from you. 

“So, please, my request, specifically, don’t do it with other guys.” 

“Well, you don’t like it with you-” 

He cuts you off by pressing his lips together against yours. 

While the one hand’s caressing your face, the other hand trails on the side of your thigh, trailing up to the inside of your skirt. 

“You’re mine, now.” he murmurs against your lips. 

“Show me then.” 

[hoedameron]

but before i go looking in the tags, let’s talk about my latest gifsets!

what a worker bee i was both yesterday and today with prodigal son AND loki <3 never have i created so many gifs in a short amount of time it’s a damn miracle that my photoshop didn’t straight up cough up blood and keel over. alas, us bitches are stronger than that! if this post gets flagged because of the scenes i included....that would just mean that i made the right decision to exclude those scenes ajsdksajkldsa

malcolm stabbing martin

when the episode finally downloaded, i took a peek at the ending before it aired to see how it all ends (just in case it doesn’t get renewed </3). GOSH, was i just in a TIZZY when i saw this happen and i couldn’t tell my dad what i saw because we were straight up watching the show as it aired. anyways, keeping my secret knowledge, i got to work on making this gifset. i missed a huge chunk of the episode bc it took me over TWO hours to make the six gif set. i was really torn on the “artistic” approach aka which scene to gif and which to leave out. because i saw the ending before anything else, i couldn’t play it out loud and i didn’t have my headphones to listen so i was like FREE FORMING THE SUBTITLES. plus the captions weren’t synced up so it was really hard to decipher what was being said :( 

i really thought i would be able to create the set before 9 but i was running into unforeseen issues such as the subtitle problem, which on top of that, like i said earlier, my photoshop is c/racked and janky so....you catch my drift. i was actually going to gif the bisexual moment in the cafe which i think would’ve been MUCH easier but i jumped the gun and wanted to make the gifs of the shocking ending. funny part about that is the shocking part wasn’t even included in my set (malcolm driving the knife into martin) because i felt like the scene was too short...anyways, let’s talk about the positives:

i really do like the coloring of this one. i used a psd that i’ve used before and luckily it’s meant for outdoor scenes with greenery so the gif really popped. sharpening, buddy ole pal, love you sm. the caption was kinda last minute but i hoped to save it with the gradient. cropping was a bitch because for some reason, it takes forever when you’ve made multiple gifs beforehand (cache innit) pero we pulled through! i actually started not saving the psd files to try and save time which is very unusual for me pero i was getting frustrated with photoshop so i was like y’know what....so i just gave up entirely and stopped saving. i do save when i’m taking my time but jeez, it’s a bad habit. i like saving the psd file because i never know if there is a mistake i missed in post and when i go to publish it, it’s blatant and it needs to be fixed. please, save your psd files idc if it takes up space u can just delete them later. IT HELPS !! TRUST ME!!

first & “last” appearance

i actually premade gifs for this gifset! unfortunately, i didn’t realize that three of the five gifs were the wrong size (pictured above) because i flipped the ratio. instead of 268 x 250, i made them 250 x 268. i don’t know HOW i managed to fuck that up but luckily i saved the psd files (wink, wink) so the coloring was still intact. i think i had to restart photoshop or it was getting too late so i picked it back up in the morning. sucks that i had to remake the entire gif from scratch but we will take some wins xx

coloring is the same with the previous gifset (listen....it’s a good coloring) and i actually did have an alternative coloring that was very warm pero i didn’t end up using it. almost melted the two with the “last” appearance of gil but ultimately didn’t go through with it. also i was thinking of using baby malcolm as the first appearance because technically, that IS his first appearance in the show but i was like...just use adult malcolm lol. also i know that scene of dani isn’t the “first” but the first scene she has goes really quick and she is planked by gil so there isn’t much of a solo (even though this scene isn’t much of a solo either pero it’s better than the former). the lighting is weird in this episode and my coloring tried their best :/ i know gifmakers make each gif a diff coloring pero i’m lazy okay and looking to be time effiencent. another slight tangent is that i actually queued the post for the morning but since i woke up to a storm, i was like, i’m here so i’ll publish it myself.

other than that...i didn’t run into any other problem. i was actually hesitant to make the caption that because i wasn’t sure how to really describe the team. i have poor memory so if there was ever an official name, i do not remember it. i did a quick google search pero it turned up nothing. i stuck with “dream team” because, well, that’s what they are. plus i didn’t want to tarnish the gifset with any mentions of p/olice (i was thinking about putting sumn along the lines of ‘the nypd team’) so DREAM TEAM IT IS because it’s true! you cannot have the show without these five! also, i should’ve used quotations on “last” because there is a bunch of talk about a renewal pero...just in case... sorry y’all :/

odinson brothers parallels

this was made in the spur of the moment. i saw that the teaser trailer with shirtless loki dropped in hd, i came A-RUNNING! it was posted like 47 minutes after the fact and i was like...somebody probably already made a gifset of the scene so i was like...gosh, to make the gifset or not all the while i was trying to download the video. trying because again, this was in the middle of a storm so my wifi was acting up and wasn’t at its strongest (whatever that may be). so i was getting frustrated because neither cc nor 4kdownloader was downloading this small one minute clip. that’s when i knew i was gonna be too late to make the loki gifset so i was like whatever ig...

then i had an idea.

i love parallels so luckily it hit me that this paralleled with thor and how his hair got chopped off. so, i knew i had ragnarok downloaded and got to work <3 wasn’t sure what dimensions to use so i went with 268 x 268 to make perfect squares. because the loki scene was short, i could only make three so i was like..okay, i can work with this. three for loki, three for thor, they’re brothers and they share! i wasn’t planning to add subtitles but i had written them down for the plain gifset so i was like alright, we’re going all in. i didn’t take that long to make since again, they’re small gifs and i did have a coloring in mind that i always use for ragnarok (it’s my fave for non-marvel edits as well). there was a slight adjustment to the final loki gif because i realized the gif had that dark fade into the scene which i didn’t know if it was an artistic choice for the show itself or was added for the trailer only (it happens when companies cut a bunch of scenes together and it’s not at all how it actually plays out). i didn’t want to take any chances so i cut those parts out. i know the gifs are short on the loki side pero...that’s just how it is in show business.

thank you so much for listening and hearing me out! i like discussing my work and i try to have pride in them even if the numbers don’t reflect what i hope they would. either way, still learning, still growing, still thinking about buying p.s. like deadass this shit is RIDICULOUS -_- imagine opening up ps and like...it opens up in less than two minutes...shivers

[ourlady-ofsorrows]

Against All Odds

(gif credit to the creators)  

Chapter Fifteen

Masterlist

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x OFC Word Count: 2,067 Warnings: language, blood, killing zombies, giving birth, woman in labor, water breaking A/N: I’m gonna be posting the rest of the parts to this story today, it might be a little slow moving since I’ve got 38 parts written so please bare with me lol. If You want to be tagged, let me know. Also, feedback is cool :)

Daryl’s POV

We were double and triple checking everything we were walking past on our double back toward the interstate. Everyone was beginning to get frustrated when a single gunshot rang out through the woods. Everyone began to panic and start talking about who shot it and what it was and I could see that Carol thought the worst, that the found Sophia, she was bit, and they had to do what needed to be done. Lori and Andrea were trying to console her and tell her that there was still hope and I was getting real fed up with them and their bullshit.

“I’ll tell ya what it’s worth, all this hopin’ and prayin’. Nothin’. I’ll tell ya why. Because we are gonna locate that little girl and she’s gonna be jus fine. Am I the only one zen around here? Good lord!” I said and started to walk off in the direction of the interstate.

Everyone begins to follow me and we decide to call off the search for the day and pick it up in the morning because we were losing light. We continued back toward the interstate and Andrea started to veer off from the group. As we continued to walk we heard Andrea scream and ran over to find her. Out of nowhere a woman on a horse wielding a baseball bat came riding up, slammed the walker attacking Andrea in the head and stopped the horse.

“Lori? Lori Grimes?” the woman said, “There’s been an accident. Carl’s been shot. Rick sent me to get you. We have to hurry! Let’s go!”

Lori climbs on the horse with the woman.

“Are you crazy? You can’t go with her? We don’t even know who she is!” I said.

“You have a group on the interstate?” the woman asked.

“Yeah,” Glenn said.

“Back track to Fairbren Road, two miles down there’s a farm. Name’s Greene!” She said and rode off in the direction she came with Lori.

I shot an arrow through the walker’s head because the girl’s hit with the bat didn’t kill it and we headed back to the highway as quickly as we possibly could. When we got there Dale told us the RV was fixed and we told them about Carl and the woman on the horse taking Lori and about the farm she told us to find. Dale told us about T-Dog’s infection and I walked over to the motorcycle and pulled out Merle’s stash. I tossed Dale a bottle of painkillers and Doxycycline for T-Dog.

“Merle got the clap on occasion,” I said with a shrug.

Carol kept going on about how she didn’t want to leave without Sophia and we agreed to stay the night with her and set up supplies and a sign for Sophia in the morning just incase she came back. Dale told Glenn to take T-Dog to the farm tonight to see if there was someone there who could take care of his arm and he agreed. The two of them left and we went about our routine of sorting through the supplies to figure out what to take and what to leave for Sophia. Halfway through our sorting I could see that there was something wrong with Summer. She was sitting next to Andrea and her face went white and she gripped Andrea’s shoulder. From the look on Andrea’s face I could tell she was grabbing pretty hard.

“I’m having contractions,” Summer said barely audible and I could see her look down and sure enough, her water had broken.

I looked at Dale and he immediately got up. I ran over to Summer and helped her into the RV. I got her laid down on the floor because she couldn’t make it to the bed. I grabbed her a pillow and lifted her head up, placing the pillow under it. That’s when she started screaming. I grabbed her hand and she was squeezing.

“It’s ok, it’ll be ok,” I told her, “You’re gonna be fine. We knew this was going to be happening soon.”

“Just shut the fuck up Daryl,” she spat at me, “oh God this hurts.”

The contractions came and went for the rest of the day and they finally subsided enough for her to get some sleep. When she finally fell asleep I grabbed my gun and asked Dale to keep an eye on her because I wanted to walk down the highway a bit to look for Sophia. Andrea said she wanted to come along and we went on a walk down the highway. We went into the woods, staying close enough to the highway so I could hear if something happened to Summer, and I told Andrea about how I was lost in the woods for nine days when I was younger and had to wipe my ass with poison oak. I told her how no one noticed how I was missing and when I finally found my way home first thing I did was make a sandwich. She laughed at my story and then her expression became serious.

“How do you feel about bringing a baby into all of this?” she asked me.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The world is hard enough for us to live in, how do you think a baby will make it?” she asked.

“Is that a serious question?” I asked her, “That’s my son. My first child. I don’t give a fuck if the world has gone to shit or not.”

“Fair enough,” she said.

We kept walking and came across a walker hanging in a tree. Andrea said she was going to be sick and I told her to just let it out, I was more than used to vomit from Summer and her morning sickness. She let it all out and we decided to head back to the RV.

Summer’s POV

I woke up to even more contractions and noticed Daryl wasn’t with me. I was beginning to panic and I heard Dale ask Carol to look in on me because Daryl and Andrea weren’t back yet and he wanted to look for them. The contractions came back in full force and I screamed for Carol. She came running into the RV and grabbed a wet towel and began to wipe the sweat off of my forehead.

“I can’t do this, Carol, I can’t do it,” I said crying.

“Yes you can,” she said soothingly, “you can do this. Just breathe. In and out.”

I tried to concentrate on my breathing but I couldn’t do it. Another contraction came and I let out another scream. Daryl came running into the RV. Carol looked at him hopefully and he shook his head. She stood up and walked out leaving me alone with Daryl.

“Get me another pillow, please,” I asked him.

He grabbed me a pillow and I put it over my face and screamed again as another contraction came. The pillow muffled the sound as well as I thought it would. I brought it away from my face and looked at Daryl. My face was covered in sweat and tears and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Daryl grabbed my hand again.

“Hey, it’s ok,” he said brushing the hair from my face, “it’s almost light. Dale and Andrea have already started to set up the sign and supplies for Sophia. We’re gonna be out of here in no time. And when we get to the farm you can have the baby and everything is gonna be ok.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked him squeezing his hand as another contraction came through.

“Because I’ve got faith, alright,” he said, “you were always the one telling me to be optimistic.”

I nodded at him and squeezed his hand again as the contractions were getting closer together. We needed to leave now because this baby was coming and would be here within the hour, no doubt. Daryl could tell from the look on my face what I was thinking and he stuck his head out of the RV and shouted that we had to go, now. Before I knew it the RV was being started up and we were heading toward the farm. Daryl was trying to keep me calm as every bump the RV hit made me feel like the baby was just going to pop out. We finally stopped and I sat up to see a farm outside the window and Daryl helped me up. We made our way out of the RV and Daryl was leading me in the direction of the house.

“SOMEONE! WE NEED HELP OUT HERE!” he shouted.

Rick came rushing out with an older man.

“RICK! SHE’S IN LABOR!” Daryl yelled over to Rick and him and the old man came running over.

“Summer, you alright?” Rick asked and I managed a nod gripping Daryl’s hand again, “This is Hershel. He’s a doctor. He can help.”

I looked at Hershel my eyes pleading with him and he led Daryl and I into the house. He laid me down on a bed and called for Maggie. A woman who I didn’t recognize, but Daryl seemed to, walked in and Hershel told her to get Patricia. Maggie walked out and came back a minute later with a blonde woman. Hershel instructed Daryl to get my pants off because he needed to check how dilated I was.

“This baby is coming any minute now,” Hershel said, “Summer? Are you ready? You’re 10 centimeters dilated, you need to be ready to push.”

I nodded.

“And you,” he said looking at Daryl.

“Daryl,” he replied.

“Daryl,” Hershel said, “I’m assuming you’re the father.”

Daryl nodded.

“You need to be ready for this too,” Hershel said, “we don’t have any drugs, and even if we did it would be too late to administer them now. She’s gonna be in pain, a lot of it. I need you to remind her to breathe and hold her hand. She’s gonna need it.”

Daryl nodded again and Hershel looked at me.

“Alright, Summer,” he said, “push.”

I pushed as hard as I could and let out a scream in the process. I was squeezing Daryl’s hand so hard I was sure I would break it. I could hear him telling me to breathe but I could barely register what he was saying.

“I can see it’s head, Summer, push again,” Hershel commanded.

I pushed again letting out another scream.

“Patricia, get the clamp, scissors, and some blankets and a bucket of warm water, this baby is almost here,” Hershel said to the blonde woman, “alright Summer, one more time. Push hard this time, it’s almost over.”

I pushed as hard as I could issuing one more blood curdling scream and then I heard the baby crying. I fell back against the bed breathing heavily. I heard the door open and I heard Hershel ask Daryl if he wanted to cut the cord. Next thing I knew I heard the baby crying, water being moved around, and he was in my arms. He was wrapped tightly in blankets and I looked at his face. It seemed like he was smiling. I looked over at Daryl and he was looking at the baby tears running down his face, smiling. He looked over at me and I smiled at him. He leaned in and kissed me.

“What are you gonna name him?” Maggie asked.

“Harry,” Daryl said.

“Do you have any formula?” Hershel asked, “He’s gonna need to eat. Patricia get the sutures. She tore a little, I need to stitch her up.”

Patricia nodded and walked out of the room.

“There’s some, in my bag in the RV, bottles too, but I don’t think it’s enough,” I said.

“Maggie, get someone from their group to get the formula and make a bottle,” Hershel instructed.

Maggie left the room and Patricia reentered.

“Daryl you’re gonna need to take the baby,” Hershel said, “I have to stitch her up and it’s going to hurt.”

He began to stitch and every prick of the needle felt white hot because I was already so sore. Shortly after Hershel said I was done and needed some rest. Maggie came back in with a bottle and handed it to Daryl. He sat down on the bed next to me feeding the baby and I fell asleep.

[drarry-with-a-side-of-harry]

Journey into the MCU XII

Avengers: Endgame

I just watched Endgame. Part of me doesn’t even know what to say. Some bits were brilliant and exactly what I wanted them to be and then some bits were just... a bit shit?

Don’t get me wrong. I loved it. Whenever something happened I was screaming ‘ABSOLUTELY NOT’ you know, in the best way :) ...But... I had to love it, you know what I mean? Seriously though, don’t really know what the shit I just watched (in a good way lol)

So, I love the fact that it started with Clint - that already got me crying (the first of the 41 instances of crying due to this film and probably the fact that I’m hormonal lmao). I adored Tony and Nebula’s interaction playing the game in space and I was like ‘Ah shit here we go again he’s adopting another one’ lol. I honestly had no idea how they were going to get back to Earth until That Bitch™ turns up - I actually waaaaay prefer Carol in this film to Captain Marvel!!!

STEVE RUNS TO TONY WHEN THE SHIP LANDS! I CAN’T! HE’S BY HIS SIDE BEFORE PEPPER EXCUSE YOU BITCH WHAT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH

I love them so much :’) sorry I’ll stop

Tony’s whole ‘zero zip nada no trust liar’ just. Wow. Very well done to both RDJ and Evans because that’s improvised right? I love!

I really like Thor, Protector of Lesbians and That Bitch’s interaction. Instantly a yes from me.

I enjoyed Thor’s desperation at just slicing that purple twat’s head off.

I’m trying to do this chronologically but I’m gonna start fucking up. Whatever.

I HATE what they did to Bruce. I wanted to see Bruce Banner being distraught and instead they wrote in all this unnecessary humour which personally I didn’t think was too funny maybe because I was too mad and made him permanently green?? Excuse me? The Russos have gotta be clowning right? The dared do THIS to the strongest avenger? Fuck off honestly. Think about what that man has been through - tried to kill himself and this is the treatment he gets?! No.

I like the fact that Thor is depressed because that was a natural decline. And I mean, he was depressed waaay before 2023 right? He has lost EVERYTHING and can’t really relate to anyone else because most of his loss was different, but he manages to maintain some of the humour we see from him in Ragnarok, HOWEVER I feel like the Russos were just trying too hard to make the humour happen and it just didn’t feel right?

LOVE THE FACT THAT THEY GOT OUT OF THE ‘OH SCOTT’S STUCK IN THE QUANTUM REALM’ PLOT HOLE WITH A RAT SCURRYING ACROSS THE CONTROLS. BITCH. I CAN’T EVEN BE MAD AT THAT. THAT’S JUST ICONIC.

Also, Tony Stark really is one of the best dads, huh? Along with Mr. Lang of course. AND NEITHER OF THEM GOT TO SEE THEIR KIDS GROW UP SORRY MORE ON THAT LATER.

I understand that Tony wasn’t on board at first, despite being a bit annoyed at him being selfish, I got it. And then bitch gets on board and everything’s happy for 20 minutes.

The Time Heist was ICONIC aND no one can tell me otherwise!!! Honestly just the fact that it was called the time heist and it was Scott’s plan and Scott is still tHE biggest fanboy - we stan.

I knew about the time travel shit before watching and thought they were gonna fuck it up because time travel is difficult with regard to not just going ‘so now we’re gonna go back and fix everything, job done’ but I actually think they did a pretty good job and did well explaining how *this version* of time travel was gonna work.

I really enjoyed Bruce’s interaction with the Ancient One and when she realises there must be a problem in the future if Stephen saved Tony’s life for the stone.

STEVE, TONY AND SCOTT WERE EVERYTHING AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THESE GUYS BACK IN 2012!!! I love Tony making Scott induce a heart attack. ICONIC. I live for the fact that we see all this sort of ‘behind the scenes’ action of The Avengers 2012 and the stuff that happened after the event and the ins and outs of everything. I will NEVER be over these whole shenanigans!!!!! I already knew about Cap V Cap but nOTHING could’ve prepared me for tHAT. This will be a continuing theme lol. I had no idea the whole ‘that is America’s ass’ thing actually happened jfc. SIDE NOTE: Tony really does say ‘I forgot that suit did nothing for your ass Cap’ bITCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA why you looking though you bi little shit lmao I’m not sorry. Steve whispering Hail Hydra was iconic and I was screaming ‘FUCK YEH BITCH FUCK EM UP NOW THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON HELL YEAH STEVE!!!!!!’ and at first I was like ‘wait, are they gonna recreate the CATWS elevator fight sequence?’ and then they did tHAT. ICONIC. And then I also knew that they go back further because I knew Tony met Howard and I knew about Dr. Potts and Capt. Stevens (lol) BUT NOTHING COULDVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT EITHER!!!! That shit got me FUCKED aND he hUGged him! He hugged his dad! I was! Not ready! For that!

Anyway so their time heist was really nice and I loved it so much it was everything I could’ve hoped for.

Thor and Frigga’s interaction I thought was really nice and she MUST know by the way he’s talking that in his future, the near future, she’s dead. I just find it so lovely and she completely restores Thor’s confidence in himself.

NOW

CLINT AND NAT

ABSOLUTELY NOT

That totally fucked me up. I knew Nat died at Vormir but turns out it didn’t matter that I already knew because nothing could’ve prepared me for that either.

For one, they hint at it quite a bit after they’ve finalised the plan - you know, that someone’s gonna go there and die. Nebula knows and we know that whoever’s going to Vormir ain’t coming back - well, one of them. oops

Secondly, I had no idea that they *playfully* fought it out to decide who it was gonna be and I was sOBBING from the moment they got to Vormir till- uhhh- well tbh it never stopped but you get the point. The whole fact that Nat realised that *this* was her purpose and after what Clint had been doing for the last five years, he thought he was too far gone and didn’t deserve his family anymore, even if they could get them back. It just totally fucked me up. That was one of my favourite scenes.

Sad Steve. AHHHH.

Then a whole load of shit happens and Thanos learns about the plan. I like the way Thanos talking about his future self is written, so kudos to the writers on that one!

I also appreciate the fact that there’s no delay between Thanos, Squidward and the rest of his crew coming to the future and the fight. That’s it. All of a sudden we’re straight into it! Great!

AHHHHHHH so now it’s time for The Big Three to confront Thanos and I just LOVE this sequence so much I honestly can’t express it and I was so so sooooo hoping that I would see these three on their own (plus purple numpty of course). At this point Thanos is just completely psycho because he wants to destroy the universe and create a new one which is an addition I really like - creates a new sense of urgency I suppose.

In other news, Steve Rogers is worthy! Which I love because somewhere around CATWS I started stanning this bitch!

Dr. Strange’s portals? ICONIC. Hotel? TRIVAGO.

Peter’s back and his and Tony’s whole interaction and hug had me in fucking tears jesus fUCKING christ nope. That shit hurt. THAT IS HIS SON RIGHT THERE. FUCK.

RIGHT.

TONY MOTHERFUCKING STARK.

The fact Stephen knows - has known for 5 years - what must happen.

The look on both their faces when Tony realises.

Nope.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Made me wanna die.

Then he does it. Fuck. I’m completely fucked now. Thanks. And then Peter’s by his side and Peter’s whole speech while Tony’s just dYING!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT. I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE HURT LIKE THIS. AND RHODEY. AND PEPPER. AND PEPPER HAS TO PULL PETER OFF. NOPE.

THEN they dare just cUT TO THE FUNERAL??!!?!

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Get the fuck out honestly.

Tony’s recording. No.

The placing of everyone at the funeral was just perfect. The funeral was just beautiful in general tbh. The Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart on the flowers. HARLEY!!!!!!! NO.

AND MORGAN WANTED CHEESE BURGERS JFC HAPPY IS GOING TO BE THE BEST UNCLE WOW!!!

Did I know Tony Stark was gonna die? Yes I did. I would’ve had to leave Tumblr to not have found out. There’s only so much that tagging can hide and you see something that hints at it and then you see a quick gif and then you just know, you know?

Did it prepare me? Fuck no.

Now, Steve.

What tHE ACTUAL FUCK?

What was that?

I’m not buying it.

Love the fact he passed Cap onto Sam, but to spend the rest of his life with Peggy? Fuck no. Some girl he knew too seconds vs spending the rest of his life with his BEST FRIEND who was irreplaceable. Fuck off. Bucky’s face throughout the whole sequence. The poor man was fucking devastated. And I’m writing this from a canon perspective because I’m all for stucky you know? Then I asked my self: ‘How could Steve do that?’ Conclusion: he couldn’t and he wouldn’t - the writers were playing silly games and none of us, none of us are buying it.

Did I know all this was gonna go down? Yes. Was I prepared? No.

Not for Bucky’s fucking face jfc. All they got was a line and a quick hug. They were BEST FRIENDS. I honestly can’t stress that enough. Wow.

The deleted scenes. Of course I have watched them aND WHY IN THE SHIT WERE THEY DELETED??? Russos are fucking clowns!!!! They all fucking kneeled for him and that was cut? You having a laugh mate?! And Gerald the Alpaca was cut because??? The extra Howard and Tony didn’t make the cut? Excuse you? Tony’s talking about how he doesn’t think he’s done enough, and then he goes and does the aBSOLUTE MOST???? :’) fuck. And uhhh Rhodey having the ONLY brain cell in the avengers with the whole ‘well you coulda jumped out the plane beforehand Cap’ lmaooo brilliant!!!

So they may be deleted but let me tell you, they released them so now they’re fucking canon.

So in conclusion, did I know all the major spoilers before watching this film? Yes because I wasn’t going to be a tumblr hermit, but managed to pretty successfully ignore them until today. SO WAS I PREPARED? FUCK NO!

Surprisingly I LOVED Clint in Endgame - not that I didn’t like him before but I just really respect how broken he is in this. His family. Nat. It really adds up and I really enjoyed what they did with his character.

I did really love it generally but just wasn’t entirely happy with some of the character choices - because they seemed pretty damn out of character! There’s development over 5 years of not having seen them, and then... there’s... some other situations.

Would I have enjoyed it more not knowing any spoilers? Completely! But I wasn’t gonna stay clear of Tumblr for 4 months lol.

Main thing I will take away from watching this. I miss Tony Stark so much and love him so much. And no I will not shut up about it. And was I crying for a good hour after the film ended and then some whilst I was watching the extra content? Maybe.

Also I’m so emotional that this is IT for Downey and Chris. Wow. Ok I’m done :’)

[cannedapricot]

Road Trip with! NCT Dream

the album,,,,,,, the mv,,,,,, i’m soft don’t touch me,,,,,,,,,,,, here’s a road trip au based on their mv to let my uwus out. also this gif makes me hella emo

hello

so i know school has started in most countries

but for this au, pretend that you’re still on summer vacation!!

aka what i wish i was on rn ugh

anyways!!

high schoolers! dream!!!

except-

mark’s already graduated high school

and will head off to his uni after the summer ends

then donghyuck, jeno, jaemin and renjun’s gonna graduate before next year summer

which really means

that it’s gonna be the last summer of your crew as high schoolers

this thought didn’t really go through your head until a week before school starts

when the 00 line fucking shows up at your door with their bags already packed

and bright smiles

you’re just like-

????when did we agree on a sleepover????

“hEY YOU UP FOR A ROAD TRIP TO COMMEMORATE OUR LAST SUMMER AS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS?”

“uh-”

“come on, dear y/n, it’s not like you were planning on doing anything else”

you eyes narrow 

becaUSE DID THEY JUST ASSUME YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO

i mean,,,, they’re right tho,,,,, all you’ve done all summer is laze at home because it’s way too hot outside,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,,,,,

“can,,,,, you even drive tho”

“hahHAHAHAHAHAH DONGHYUCK? DRIVE?” 

“i even don’t trust him with my fish what makes you think i trust him with the wheel”

“okAY JUST BECAUSE I FAILED MY DRIVING TEST TWICE DOESN’T MEAN YOU GUYS CAN BULLY ME”

fuck no one’s sane here

but what’d you really expect from two jocks and two art geeks

the same jocks and geeks that pushed you back into your own home and watched as you packed

wipes away tear

“why am i always forced to do dumb shit with you guys”

“whAT DO YOU MEAN????”

and so you were pushed out the door after having a word with your parents

who only agreed to let you go cause they deemed renjun trust worthy

because he’s the only one who at least acts normal around your parents

“whoSE CAR ARE WE EVEN U S I N G- oh”

right on the curb parked mark’s old and stuttering blue car.

on which he sat in the driver’s seat, trying to get the old thing to play music

“are you sure we’re not gonna die”

“nope, but it’s the only car we have available”

jeno whispered in response, throwing your bag in the trunk

“ah, y/n, i see you’ve been successfully dragged into hyuck’s dumb idea”

donghyuck climbs into the passenger seat next to mark, 

flipping his friend off in the proccess

“you are all here because we are all friends and we love each other”

you, being squashed in the back seat:

“no - not really”

“wtf jaemin there’s another row of seats in the back stOP TRYING TO PUSH ME OUT”

“BUT I WANNA SIT WITH Y/N????”

“fucking donghyuck”

“WHY ME???? WHAT HAVE I DONE????”

wow great start to your trip 10/10

picking up chenle and jisung literally took five seconds

they lived next to each to each other

and it only took one excited nod from chenle for jisung to tag along

and that’s the story of how you ending up being in a shotty blue car with seven teenage boys

miles from home on an empty ass road

screaming the lyrics to micheal jackson songs into the heat (thanks to dj haechan)

at least mark got the speakers to work again

“wherE ARE WE EVEN GOING???”

“IDK LOL”

“WAIT WHATTHEFUCJ-”

at one point, jisung and chenle at the back decided to sit up onto the car, with their legs on their seats

“I’M PRETTY SURE THAT’S ILLEGAL AND DANGEROUS”

“yOlO!!1!1!!!1”

“how the fuck do i disown them”

“push them off”

everything was going swimmingly

until the car breaks down in the middle of the road

“i knew this was gonna happen sighs”

mark then jumps out to check the hood

then immediately notices something wrong rip

“hyuck, pass me the box in the glove box.”

“you’re prepared???? does this happen often or????”

so mark tries to fix the car in the blistering heat with renjun nagging beside him, holding an umbrella to hide the two of them from the sun

whilst the rest of you start playing uno on the back of the car

multiple times, not once, buT MULTIPLE TIMES

CHENLE HAS LOOKED AT YOUR CARDS

HE’S DOESN’T EVEN TRY DEFEND HIMSELF WHEN YOU POINT IT OUT

WHAT A LITTLE SNAKE

“FOR FUCKS SAKE ZHONG CHENLE IF U DON’T STOP I SWEAR-”

jisung won every round 

which made the rest of you bond trying to break his win streak

“jeno do you have a plus four to screw him up with”

“i only have a green plus two if that helps”

and that kinda goes on until mark lee emerges from behind the raised hood, telling y’all to give the car a push

“yeah just a second, jisung’s finally losing-”

“hA YOU THOUGHT”

THROWS DOWN FIVE NINES

INFURIATING

everyone grumbles as they hop off and start pushing

“lets just put our rage into pushing this stupid car”

which ends up moving easier than y’all thought it would

so the seven of you stumble a little when the car started moving by itself

mark nearly drove away himself lmao

made the group of you chase after the car for a moment lmAO

you wished he did drive off though because the second the car starting moving with everyone back on,

he yells,

“lET’S GET IT”

“siri where’s the nearest bus stop to get home”

“HSEGFSUEF NO I’M SORRY :C”

then as the day slowly got darker,

your screams didn’t die down lol

the latest feud was over chocolate vs vanilla

and you honestly think about how you got stuck in a group of dumbasses

“remember when hyuck hated jaemin and jeno back in freshman year lol”

“nO SHUT UP RENJUN”

“LMAO DIDN’T HYUCK DISLIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY CHUCKED A BASKETBALL AT HIS HEAD”

“what you still remember that? i’m sorry hyuck :’cccccc”

“NO JENO I’VE FORGIVEN YOU AGES AGO- FUCKING RENJUN-”

the group of dumbasses did make you laugh though

so maybe it wasn’t so bad

night then came and the conversation finally started to tone down

mark pulls to the side of the road 

“let’s call it a night, yeah?”

the rest of you mumble in agreement

“our last summer as high schoolers huh”

you hum, running your hands through jaemin’s freshly dyed candyfloss hair

“but will anything change even if you guys graduate?”

chenle asks from the back, head on jisung’s shoulder

“not much, i don’t think. we just won’t see each other as much.”

it was a clear night, and the stars were brighter than ever

everyone was staring up at the night sky, enjoying the cool breeze

“we always have summer right?”

a round of agreement sounded before jeno cuts through-

“does this mean we’re going on another road trip next year?”

“way to ruin the mood jeno”

“oh please no, i don’t think i can handle another one with you dumb fucks”

lies

you loved every moment with them

“this is a cute moment and all, but can jaemin get off of us now?”

renjun asked, referring to the long boy sprawled on top of jeno, renjun and you

“i was planning on sleeping in this position tho-”

he didn’t get to finish his sentence before the three of you pushed him off

mark chuckled before leaving his seat to pull the hood over the open seats

“good night”

you were shook awake by mark the next day, greeted with a sky that wasn’t even awake

“what’s going on?”

“fancy watching the sunrise?”

turns out, mark woke up earlier than the rest of you and drove to an empty beach to watch the sunrise together :’)))))))

you stumbled out of the car, legs soft from sitting for too long, finding the rest of the boys sitting on the hood of the car and on the concrete in front

donghyuck pats the space next to him and you hop on top of the creaky car

“is this safe”

“probably not”

“ o h “

it’s all quiet before the sun starts coming up

then gasps were heard and wishes were made

and it was all heartwarming :”)))))

before all of you made a dash to the cold ass water

trying to chuck mark in

“whY ME????? I DROVE Y’ALL HERE”

“YOU’RE LEAVING THAT’S WHY”

“SBRGOSBEGOSBAE??????”

S P L O S H

chenle was screaming the entire time

then one idiot cough hyuck cough accidentally chucks sand into mark’s blue car

which then leads to mark pulling the squad into a self wash station

“come one guys let’s wash this car together!!1!1! wE’rE aLl In ThIs ToGeThEr”

“wow i suddenly dont know you”

then some idiot coUGH HYUCK COUGH starts chucking suds at everyone

AND JAEMIN’S LOWKEY TRIGGERED BECAUSE NOT HIS NEW HAIR

SO HE FIRES BACK

AND RENJUN WHO WANTED TO HOSE THE SUDS OUT OF HIS HAIR ENDED UP FIRING WATER AT CHENLE’S FACE

EVERYONE STARTED LAUGHING LIKE NO TOMORROW AND YOU GOT A GOOD VIDEO OF IT LMAO

AND EVERYTHING JUST ENDED UP WITH EVERYONE GETTING A FREE SHOWER AT THE STATION

and renjun getting pinned to the car by jeno but u h 👀👀👀👀👀👀 

y’all end up drying yourselves by sitting under the hand dryers in the bathroom

“at least we don’t have to worry about showering”

“hyuck you started this shut up”

hopping back into the small car, the group decides to start heading back

mainly because your snack supplies were running low

but also because you don’t think the car’s gonna survive any longer

but mostly because snacks were running out

“chenle ate all the fucking pocky”

“nO JISUNG DID”

“WTF-”

“i love best friends throwing each other under the bus”

taking a shorter route home, you stop at a basketball court to move a around for a while

“why is jaemin and jeno on one team, they’re the star basketballers of our school tf i call bs”

“you literally picked your own team-”

nomin vs the rest of u fuckers

no surprise, nomin won

now you guys owe them mcnuggets

“hA SU C C”

“let’s leave them behind quiCK TO THE CAR”

mark: trips over own laces running

in no time, you were in front of your own house again

unlike before though, you lowkey didn’t want to leave your friends

“i still can’t believe that we ran out of snacks in a day and a half-”

“blame chenle”

“hEY-”

renjun pats your shoulder as jeno and jaemin go get your bag for you

“we’ll be living and sleeping at mark’s place until he leaves. you’re welcome to join”

mark from the driver’s seat: what.

and as they drive away with mark questioning when this was decided,

you head back inside to restock you bag, leaving for mark’s house just a few hours later

when high school started up again, you weren’t surprised to see renjun having chensung in headlock in front of your locker

whilst hyuck just whispers-

“right in front of my goddamn salad” at the sight

creaking open your locker, the first thing you do is stick up a group photo taken on your trip

nomin lean on your shoulders, craning their neck to look at the photo

“we look dumb”

the picture was taken by mark setting a timer on his phone then running to join the picture 

everyone was lined up, leaning against the old blue car against the sunrise

but mark bumped into haechan who bumped into jeno, who bumped into jaemin etc etc

and the picture ended up coming out with everyone slanting as y’all fell in a domino effect

but the smiles on your faces were precious :’))))))))

“i think it’s cute” 

you say, closing your locker, ready to face another year with these fuckers.

hi i’m apri and i present to you yet another unedited piece of shit :’)

listening to the dreamies’ album while writing this made me really emo about mark’s graduation so it got really deep in the middle im s o r r y

[enniewritesathing]

57 Facts

I was tagged by the lovely @pink-chevalier, thank you ❤❤

Let’s see if I got 57 facts in me, lol.

My car, Sheila, is a stick shift. I’ve been dirving stick since I was 19. My dad taught me and I got it down within a day. The hardest part is stopping/going on a hill.

My favorite color is blue, but I love the darker shades of blue. They speak to me. (And they also taste good no matter what it is).

I’m 30, but I look half my age. At least according to everybody. It’s a curse. And don’t give me that, “but that’s good~”. 

I won a Xbox One X from Taco Bell last year. I’m just as surprised as you are. I’m gonna try and see if I can win the white one this year, lol.

My Steam queue and game queue in general? It’s outrageous. 

I served in the military (Air Force). I fixed radio equipment and antennas. 

For almost 3 years because I have really bad shins.

I lived in Germany when I was 2months - 4 years old. I don’t remember any of it, but we have a lot of pictures.

I got kicked out of a major university marching band because I was frustrated with a lot of things and I may have made a F-bomb laced post. (And I talked to the higher ups about stuff but they didn’t listen/did nothing about it). Someone snitched on me; still don’t know who did it. This was back when FB was college-only.

I played the clarinet from 6th grade up until that point. Should have taken up saxophone if I’m gonna be honest.

And then like a semester later, I flunked out. 

When I make OCs, I put a lot of thought into them.

I had a tough love approach to making them, but I'm way gentler now. Mostly.

I tend to make them in pairs? Or eventually they end up being together, lol. I think one pair is married?? But they all tend to have old married couple traits, I think. They *clearly* love each other.

I would make them in TS4, but I forgot what they look like... 😟

I'm 5'0.

I powerlift! Which is *very* different from Olympic Weightlifting! And bodybuilding is completely unrelated to both!

I don't look the part though. Powerlifting brings all sorts of body types.

I've been competing in the 84kg weight class for 3 years, and counting.

I've won 1 1st place, and 3 2nd place medals.

My total right now is about 610lbs for all three lifts. I've got a ways to go to start competing on regionals/nationals.

I have a meet on Saturday and I'm super nervous about it, lol.

I'm single, not sure how to mingle, and at this point... kinda don't want to?

Never really been in a relationship; some times I'm alright with this other times I'm cursing the universe.

I'm demisexual, or, somewhere on the ace spectrum. Demi fits me the most currently. (What's up my fellow aces 🖐)

I'm not aro tho. Give me that romantic shit!!!

Didn't figure this out until I was a whole ass 25 years old, and I found out via here and my hella good friend! And it's been a goddamn ride.

Now that I think about it, Brian is (most likely, but he may be grey-A) demi. I think. Probably.

I've known my good friend for 20 years? Almost 20 years! They have a tumblr too and of course we're mutuals and I love them to bits :>

I'm pretty shy.

I *do* have a type. Well, types, but I do love characters that are strong as hell, but also really sweet??? Like they can fuck you up, but also loves baby cats. A "bad boy" but a sweet boy.

Physically?? Oof. I have a tag on my main that's like my jam, aesthetic wise. They're so handsome. But my fav body type is actually the "lumberjack' build. I like a little beef ~_~

I started making poses because a lot of poses didn't fit my boys/very slim pickings and hardly nothing spicy wise, and I could never find anything super specific that I wanted.

I pretty much learned on my own through a LOT of practice with the Pose Helper. There was like one tutorial using the pose helper, and that was it. Lots of trial and error. If you really want to go through it, go through my ts4 pose wip tag. Like alllll the way back. It was a rocky start.

I do the NSFW/spicy poses in cycles. Basically, when the mood strikes me. I'm not sure what theme I'm gonna go with for the next one though. I've been wanting to do some stripper poses, but also light bondage or something. Hmm...🤔

I do enjoy making them, but 😳

My favorite pose set is probably Bare Knuckle because, at the time, the most complex thing I made and I'm super proud of it. The idea of fighting a literal demon just... came up lol. I am considering doing another Muay Thai centered pose set, but pic refs are hard to come by. The one I used for BK deactivated :(

I use a lot of refs. It's very okay to use refs! Sometimes I have to adjust them to accommodate male frames.

I have a weighted blanket and it's fantastic and if you're able to get one, I SUPER recommend it.

I was born 2 weeks late. Yeah, lol. Sorry, mom.

I have an older half brother. He's out there doing... stuff.

I have 4 nephews. That I know of.

Up until last year, I was the only granddaughter of my grandma. Now I'm the oldest!

I am older than my uncle by 4/5 years. (He was a late/surprise baby lol)

I have a bad habit of making faces. I am *very* expressive. Basically, I'm a walking reaction gif, lol. And I have gotten in trouble when I was younger.

I know how to read maps. Like actual road maps, and I can navigate by sight too. When I was younger, my dad gave me the role on long trips to help me read and know geography. I don't get lost.

I'm pretty hungry right now...

I used to play DDR. Like, an absurd amount of it, allll the way back when Max2/Extreme came out. Now? I play when I can.

Not as good as I used to be, stamina wise, but I still get ridiculously high grades/marksbn on songs. The highest difficulty rating I was at when I peaked was 16s. That's out of a 20 scale. Now? I'm lucky to clear a 13/14. There's a HUGE skill difference.

I have trouble verbalizing things in general. When I'm writing/typing, I'm fine. But speaking?? Forget it.

I am a naturally quiet person, which tends to unnerve a lot of people? I just don't have much to say on a lot of things.

People tell me some wild shit, but uh, I forget because I have a shitty memory and attention span.

Never been in a fight, but I did punch this bully that was messing with me back in kindergarten right in the stomach. Just dropped him. My dad taught me :>

I've been on Tumblr for a LONG ass time... since 2010. I've seen shit. This blog is I think 6 years old? But only 3ish years since it became a simblr, hence the name. It was for my writings at first but ~nobody came~.

I really do love making poses, yall. Even on days where I'm feeling crummy, I try and do one pose. Don't matter what it is.

Every time I get a message saying that my posts/cc brightens someone's day, it makes my whole damn week. Thank you for nice words. I still have an anon message that was sent months ago, saying they really love John and Brian's relationship with each other, and depicting what love is. Thank you, anon 😭😭😭

I love and appreciate every one of ya'll. Thank you for following me and sticking around with this small simblr. :)

57 is a LOT, but I somehow did it. If you wanna do it, considered yourself tagged. If not, that's cool, and if you read all of the facts... congrats, lol.

[mellowsobri]

Forgive Me [Draco x Reader, Five]

A/N: THERE WILL BE TWO SEPARATE ENDINGS!!! Yes, this is the last fic before the end! One ending will be where the reader gets back together with Draco, the other will be where they split ways. Also, heads up, this one sucks lol

also can we just appreciate this gif of Tom Felton he’s so hot i can't

Word Count: 2,036

Warnings: Cursing I think?? awkwardness!!! really poorly written draco not gonna lie on this one

Tags: @friceaurelia07 @fandomlover03 @tiny-strawberry- @i-wished-upon-a-star-one-night @1amorales1 @missidontknowwhatimdoing @weasleyswizardwheezs @canadianbirdie @all-theesee-fandoms @jellyunicornsworld

Part One/Two/Three/Four/Five(you’re here!)

Masterlist

Draco pulled away from (Name) gently, eyes half lidded and hands shaking. (Name) looked at him with dazed eyes and rosy cheeks. 

The silence was almost comfortable. It wasn't tense, nor awkward, but simply just silence. 

Draco could feel his stomach doing flips. He didn't know what to say or think, he just knew that whatever he felt couldn't be ignored. 

"I... Don't really know what to say," (Name) mumbled. Her eyes were cast downwards and her hair fell in her face. Draco lifted her chin up and gazed into her eyes that held the constellations he loved. 

"You don't have to say anything." He pulled her into another kiss, in which she complied to. 

The two parted ways, promising to meet up the next day at the same place. There was definitely something that needed to be resolved. 

(Name) went to sleep that night not feeling regret, but anxiousness. Was this what she had wanted all along? Could she just forgive him like that? Was it even okay to forgive him for what he did? 

Draco went to sleep that night knowing that she was what he wanted. Nothing more, nothing less. He had learned from his mistakes, and his decision was final. 

Draco Malfoy was in love with (Name) (Last Name), and he wasn't ashamed for what he felt.

However, Draco also understood that (Name) was not naive, so he was nervous as to how should react when she came back to her senses. Would she yell at him? Be frustrated with what happened? Or would she cherish him? Tell herself that the kiss they shared was a new start?

Surprisingly, (Name) found herself awakening peacefully. No dreams were brought to her that night, but simply just sleep, which she had been yearning for ever since the stress built up. She laid in her bed for a few moments before sitting up and realizing her roommates weren't in the dorm. Immediately, panic set in. 

"Oh my gosh, I am not late right now... Not late, not late..." She repeated the two words to herself while hastily fixing her bed head and changing out of her sleep wear. 

(Name) ran out of the common room in her (House) robe, frantically trying to get all of her stuff together. She stopped midway, looking at all of the students dressed in casual wear all gawking at (Name), a complete rushed mess. 

Saturday. 

(Name) sighed, putting a hand to her forehead. A blush resided on her cheeks as she shamefully trudged back into her room. 

(Name) came back out of the room, less of a rushed mess and more of a exasperated mess. Some of her housemates were waiting for her, smiling brightly and laughing a bit. "In a rush this morning, eh, (Name)?" (Name) smiled and rolled her eyes. 

"You bet. The one night I actually get some sleep, and this happens," she sighed. She pushed her hair back and discreetly looked around for Draco. Her friends were busy chatting to notice. 

"Anyways, we were going to Hogsmeade later. You in?" (Name) looked at them with a small smile. 

"I'm sorry. I'm pretty busy today." That wasn't all a lie. Her friends shrugged and continued on. 

"Alright. If you change your mind, just let us know." For the past month, (Name) hadn't hung out with her friends as much as she used to. Being occupied with Draco and Harry, that is. She felt a bit bad, but things needed to be settled today. 

As her housemates wandered off, she smoothed out her skirt as her eyes darted around the room in search of the blonde Slytherin boy. 

She caught a glance of blonde hair just standing right by the corner. "Oh, Dr—!"

"(Name)? That you?" McLaggen. 

"Oh! Cormac! Sorry, I mistook you for someone else. Sorry again for bothering you, I'll be going—" She started to walk off before Cormac lightly grabbed her wrist. 

"I've been meaning to talk to you, (Name)? How you doing? Heard you and Potter are done for, yeah?" He flashed her a charming smirk and his eyes narrowed. (Name) laughed awkwardly and smiled at him. Being polite never hurt anyone. "Er, yeah... I didn't know people were talking about it... Anyways, I have some things to tend to so..."

"Yeah, it's all over the school! So this means you're available?" 

"Um, well..."

"I'd be willing to take you out today if you'd like. I was going to go with Reina, but if you're single then I can drop her." He winked at her and wrapped a lazy arm around her shoulders. Did he think he was being charming? (Name) shot him a disgusted look. "I'm not—"

"McLaggen!" There he was. Draco looked relatively better than he did yesterday. The bags under his eyes lessened and his hair was back to its perfect and pristine look. "What do you think you're doing?!" (Name) took this chance to scamper away as Cormac looked like he wouldn't hesitate to do something violent. 

She looked behind her, only seeing the image of Draco getting in Cormac's face with a nasty glare. 

"Watch it—!" (Name) stumbled back a bit, as did the person she knocked shoulders with. 

"Oh, sorry..." (Name) looked at them. "Blaise...?" Blaise looked at her for a moment before breaking out into a smile. The two had been close when her and Draco were still together, but ever since they had split, they never got to see each other. 

"Blaise, oh my gosh! I haven't seen you in like forever!" 

"Oh don't be melodramatic. It's been like a month," Blaise chuckled. (Name) punched him playfully on the arm. "That's a long time, you jerk!" Blaise laughed and rubbed his arm. 

"Damn (Name), you've gotten aggressive. Where's the girl with a pack of glitter up her ass I remember?" (Name) laughed and crossed her arms. 

"I see you're still a pain, then!"

"Oh, you know you love me." The two laughed and joked around with each other. (Name) smiled sweetly at Blaise, happy to reconnect with him once again. "I'm happy I got to talk to you again, Blaise. God, I miss those days..."

"Yeah. We haven't spoke since... Um..." He stopped mid sentence, smiling awkwardly. (Name) gave him a thinned lip smile and shrugged. "I know."

"So... If I can ask, how are you and Draco? He's been super off for a while now, but last night he came back to the room with this weird glow to him. Haven't seen him like that since you two were together."

(Name) smiled and looked down. "Can you keep a secret?" Blaise nodded in response. (Name) took a breath and continued. "Last night he kissed me even though we haven't even been on good terms in forever. It just came out of nowhere—Like the Draco I told myself I hated completely disappeared. He was sensitive... He was the Draco that I fell in love with a year ago," (Name) mumbled. She shrugged and crossed her arms. "Sorry, I'm rambling..."

"No, no. It's fine. So," Blaise continued to talk while the two walked over to a bench in the hallways. "Are you two back together or...?" 

"No, we aren't... To be honest, I don't really know where exactly we stand at this point. I just know that... I didn't see any of the Draco that got on my very last nerve last night... It's like he was a completely different person." Blaise laughed softly. 

"Seems like you feel strongly about this." (Name) gave him a look, as if saying 'seriously?'

"Wow, who would've guessed?" Blaise rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. 

"But seriously... I just don't know what to do, Blaise... One part of me wants to simply run back into his arms, but another part of me is wanting to avoid him in fear of the past repeating itself. I mean... Once a cheater always a cheater, right...? But it doesn't even seem that way with Draco..." Blaise clicked his tongue in thought. He stared at a wall for a moment, thinking. "Not that I have any experience dating Draco," (Name) laughed at that. "But you said he wasn't acting like he did before, cold and distant, right?" The girl nodded, eager for him to continue.

Blaise crossed his arms and smirked. "Knowing that idiot, he's probably thinking about you right now. Not that I would ever know why he's daydreaming about a nerd like you, though." Blaise snickered and ruffled the top of her hair. (Name) grinned widely and couldn't help but blush a bit. All she had needed was some confidence. "Thank you, Blaise!" She wrapped her arms around him tightly. If she was being honest, she missed times when she could speak to someone about her problems. She had kept a lot bottled in, even when her and Harry were on better terms.

"Blaise, may I speak to (Name)? That is, if you're done canoodling." Blaise rolled his eyes and retracted his arms. 

"Yeah, yeah. (Name), while you're talking, ask him if he's found the uptight stick up his ass, would 'ya?" And with that, he left.

The two stood in silence for a few minutes.

"... 'Canoodling'?" (Name) snickered. Draco blushed and cracked a small smile. "That wasn't the point. Besides, what did he tell you?" (Name) smiled softly and shrugged. 

"Just some advice. I mean, I haven't talked to Blaise since...!" (Name) stopped, realizing what she was about to say. She cleared her throat, uncomfortable. "I haven't talked to him in a while, I mean." 

A short wave of silence washed over the atmosphere until (Name) spoke up once again. "So... Thanks for getting McLaggen off my back... I didn't really know how to go about that." Draco scoffed. 

"Of course. McLaggen is just a disgusting swine." He rolled his eyes at this, cringing at the visual of Cormac inches apart from you. 

The two were stalling. Neither of them wanted to revert back to the seriousness that was seconds away. They both wanted it to stay just like this— Relaxed and light hearted.

(Name) took a deep breath. "Draco,"

"I know what you're going to say... We're going to have to talk about... What happened... And everything will go back to being... Well, awkward." (Name) thinned her lips, internally sighing. 

"You're not wrong... But come on, Draco! We can't just put this off! I just— This sounds so stupid and pathetic, but I'm confused, okay?" (Name) looked down and crossed her arms, shifting all of her weight onto one foot. Draco gulped, looking at the girl in front of him. She didn't look broken, but she looked, as she said, simply confused. "I-I'm not confused..." This caught her attention as she snapped her head up.

 "Huh?"

"I know this will sound like complete rubbish... But I'm in love with you, (Name)." She stood there for a second with an unreadable expression. Finally, she used two hands to shove him back.

"What the hell, Malfoy?!" He recoiled and stumbled a bit before regaining his composure. "You—You want to say that now?! I-I can't, I don't—! You can't just come in and... And just...!" She was rambling, unable to form complete sentences. Draco grabbed her wrist gently before pulling her in for a chaste kiss. (Name's) shoulders relaxed and she sighed, out of either exasperation or relief. After he pulled away, she was silent.

"... Well you could've just told me to shut up," she mumbled.

"Look, (Name), I know I'm being stupid—"

"Yeah, you are..." He held back an amused chuckle, continuing.

"But I've never been more sure of anything." Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked down again. "One more chance... That's all I'm asking for. I've learned so much over these months, and I'm just asking for one more chance."

"I-I just..." She sighed, placing a hand to her forehead. She propped her arm on the wall beside her as to give herself some balance. "Give me some time to think, okay? You never were a patient person," she laughed.

He resisted a grin. Was this a dream? Was he dreaming?

He grabbed her shoulders and pressed his lips to her again, relishing in (Name) as a whole. 

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - Too Much Shit For One Man to Kick

In which Emma’s heart grows three sizes.

Broadcast date: Monday 4/Tuesday 5 September 2017

Now that I've torn myself away from the combination of Destiny 2 and trying to fix my phone, it's time for MONDAY AFTERNOON RAW!: The Nacreous Gem Around The Intrusive Sand Of Roman Reigns Trying To Cut A Promo

trialling a new slogan

daniel's uncle's idea

apparently owning the building means you can give production advice

price of free offices, i guess

anyway, i'm like 70% sure he doesn't read these, so i can say whatever

but yes, the actual show

the bright orange blur in this tumbnail suggests we may be hearing from one mr cena

straight in on a recap video of the contract signing from last week

only presumably without cena kicking a hole in the fourth wall like the fucking shockmaster

also they've edited it to remove roman forgetting how to english

some damn good promos, though

i'm just loving all the shots of kurt in the background gawking like oh god what have i wrought

oh, apparently this is labour day

you'll pardon me for not exactly giving a shit

and we're in omaha

and here's the cena himself

here to cene all over us

oh, apparently we're just kicking straight into a match

and booker's back

i never thought i'd be glad to hear that slurred bullshit

and here comes jason jordan and his dodgy synth music

here to fight cena for unspecified reasons

oh, so we can play the clip of cena debuting against kurt 15 years ago

back when he was ruthlessly aggressive

who doesn't love cross-generational parallels

omaha is super behind cena, possibly for his music containing actual instruments and vocal tracks recorded at the same time

jason goes straight into the amateur mat game, which is not exactly cena's forte

lots of lingering hugs

i think booker just managed to get jason and cena mixed up, but let's be real, i wasn't listening

my mind just levels out everything booker says into a kind of mealy blur

but hey, that's better than the unignorable shittiness of the jerry

(my favourite kundera book)

cena gets a comeback phase, including whipping jason so hard he also faceplanted himself into the mat

that seems poorly thought out

tries to deploy his five moves, jason manages to counter out my backflipping out of a suplex and dropkicking him

fuck you, cruiserweight division

jason takes a five knuckle shuffle, then counters an aa into an indescribably weird rollup

takes an stf for ages, then reverses into a crossface/chinlock thing

cena says fuck you, i'm john cena, stands up out of it and goes for another aa

jj counters out into a beautiful rolling double nothern lights suplex

straps come down, jj unleashes his true power level

and immediately eats an aa for the pin

way to disprove roman's argument that cena buries young talent

oh hye, speaking of

-slips into pre-emptive coma-

and  he's got a mic

fantastic

roman's like why the fuck did that take you 20 minutes that guy's been on the show for like a month

roman really needs to work out what point he's making

so yeah, argument today is that cena's not as great as he thinks he is

and is a lion

fake-ass little bitch

"Roman, I'd say I'm happy to see you, but...I'm disgusted by your whole face."

cena is all out of shits to give

like stop trying to use your brain, it's not your thing

cena immediately addresses roman's inconsistent point

and that his fly is open

which roman turns into lol cos i'm the big dog

ew

men

and cena counters with a balls joke, and roman with a gay joke

fuck's sake, guys

there's a bar, at least make a cursory effort to get over it

cena takes it to roman for having everything handed to him, like damn dude i fucking hate the miz but at least he works for his shots

this is all true

cena's mostly just exasperated

like damn dude, get a clue

so roman's like hey if you want to beat me up let's do that

roman, stop being smug

or just, yknow, go away

cena does not beat him up, so roman's like hey fuck you dude and walks off

that worked, i guess

but later, we apparently have braun/show in a cage

so we can play the gif of those two crushing the ring

also later jeff hardy has an ic title match

but now, enjoy this advert for total bellas

or don't, very much up to you

but now, here come the not-shield

entering to dean's intro

they're gonna be on announce for slater and rhyno vs the kkb

seth and dean should totally rebrand as the sword

god, i love that they've managed to get a dragon ball reference into their entrance

dean's like welp, that's a great entrance,can't take that away from them

confirmation that we've got their title rematch at no mercy

dean goes off on a tangent about jurassic park and getting your face eaten by velociraptors

seth starts giggling

send for the man

corey asks if seth and dean are getting on as a team, dean's like eh, i've had five years to punch this guy in the face, i'm kind of over it by now

back in the ring, heath slater is getting the fuck kicked out of him

but then, that's what he does

inevitable hot tag so rhyno can get some offence in

and then eat a brogue for the pin

dean starts talking smack on the bar, then he's like well we're the bar now hey we should steal their name

dean talks like he fights

cesaro and sheamus do their fusion dance in the ring, and i'm like 90% sure their fusion would be goro from mortal kombat

although more the plasticine fantasticine version from the film, tbh

that's science right there

toasty

cut back to the announce team, where seth and dean have evaporated

and they talk to book about the hurricane

briefly

but now, renee interviews the hardyz

matt breaks in with a semi-broken accent

crowd goes mental

and jeff's like yuuuup gonna win this or get myself killed with the FIRE THAT BURNS WITHIN ME

man can preach

so that's next, i think?

after this ad for randy/shinsuke on smackdown

insert comment about what competition means

and here comes the match

starting with the hardyz

jeff's wearing a connor's cure tabard over all his other clothes, and seriously, i think the man has a problem

it also makes it very hard for him to rock out to their music

cole makes a reference to them wanting to delete paediatric cancer

well played

and enter the miztourage

maryse has a new vest/pvc leggings/sparkly knee boots combo, and as ever, i want it

also perilously close to real human clothes

apparently it's just over 10 years since jeff had the ic belt

bell rings, jeff goes straight for a rollup because fuck wrestling

miz cowers against the ropes like please mr hardy don't beat me

and uses it to throw jeff out to his cronies

a scheme

who would have thought

back in the ring, jeff just punches the hell out of miz's oh-so-punchable face

whisper in the wind for a nearfall

it's taken this long for jeff to jump off something, he must be taking it seriously

sets up for a swanton, bo distracts the ref so curtis can pull jeff off the turnbuckle

sparks a brawl outside the ring, ref is just like fuck this noise all three of you can fuck off

matt is deeply offended like how could you do this to me i was defending my brother's honour

miz counters out of jeff's crotch leg drop, which is good to see, because it is such a trivially easy move to counter

this match is actually p good

it's been like 60% reversals

maryse is still at ringside, which can't possibly be foreshadowing anything

ooh, she's gone with acid-green nails as well

maryse is just my style icon

(as if you didn't know)

miz pulls jeff off the apron, then collapses against the barricade in fornt of a small child in a cena shirt who's like um what

miz gets a figure four one, jeff just goes to counter by punching miz in the face

makes sense when you think about it

eventually gets to the ropes

then hits miz with a stunner, nearfall when miz gets the rope

live by the rope break...

miz crawls out of the ring while the ref shouts at jeff, then immediately eats a baseball slide

and then poetry in motion off the steps

kind of feeling sorry for miz atm

he's bumping like a demon

maryse pulls her husband out fo the way of a swanton, leaving jeff to fuck himself upon the mat

goes for a twist of fate, miz counters into a finale for the pin

damn good match, solid finish

but now, women do things

or so i am assuming by this recap package of banks/bliss

oh yeahb, and nia's inevitable betrayal

announcement: sasha has her rematch at no mercy

and now nia accosts kurt backstage

she's not impressed that she doesn't get a title shot

and emma interrupts to talk about her twitter analytics

she also wants a title shot

nia's just like fuck off or i will actually break you

kurt holds them apart, and hatches a plan

nia/emma v sasha/alexa tonight

if the undercarders win, he'll make the title match a four-way

foreboding shot of the cage, insistent mentions of the ring being reinforced

and have some more recap videos of brig showman fucking the ring

never noticed how hard the ref bumps to the outside when it happens

caught it now, of course, because they've replayed the clip from SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN FUCKING ANGLES

but now it's time for cruiserweights to not get an intro

dar, nese and gulak already in the ring

and cedric and gran metalik get to enter with enzo, because seriously, nobody's getting a fucking intro

except enzo, who's brought a mic as usual

enzo tries to spin cheating to win matches as some kind of god-given right because it gets you wins

babyface?

despreately hypes 205 like please watch my show

he introduces cedric and metalik in the shittiest way possible

i spoke too soon, his smacktalk introductions for the other three are even worse

match kicks off with cedric/tony doing the cruiserweightiest wrestling ever

and enzo tags himself in to ruin everything

drew tags in to kick a non-trivial amount of shit out of enzo

not all of it, of course

the man contains too much shit for one man to kick

the heel team start doing rolling tags to take turns fucking up enzo's shit

and then they all just cruiserweight over everything and i can no longer narrate

stereo topes from cedric and metalik, during which enzo tags himself in because he's a twat

and then sticks a thumb in drew's eye to get his stupidly-named finish for the pin

the alleged faces celebrate as drew's outside with his friends like aaaaaaaaaaa i am blind

end segment

and now alexa collars sasha in the locker room to bitch about their opponents tonight

alexa has a cancer shirt too because she's a face by default tonight

this conversation quickly turns into a huge row

that match'll go well

up next, finn bálor wears a shirt

boo

and an advert for the myc, which continues to be great

and here comes everyone's favourite irish possible serial killer

-does the arms-

goes 'this is bálor club' like he's introducing his new talk show

waxes lyrical on his previous titles and how bray wyatt's a dick

finn has chosen his fate

or possibly faith?

this just in, he has an irish accent

calls bray out, immediate wyatt cut

and now we're in the void with bray

talking about learning to hunt as a kid

and the day he decided to stop using a bow and just kill things with his bare hands

i think we could have all filled in that backstory, tbh

taunts finn for only being able to beat him using the demon as his weapon, rather than doing it with his own power and will

and obliquely challenges him for no mercy

finn starts shouting back at him, which is a rarity for these segments

bray calls finn a rabbit, wyatt cut, end thing

so yeah, bray v human!finn for no mercy, presumably

oh hey, more ads for smackdown and total bellas

and now it's women's tag time

cole claims total bellas stars alexa bliss, corey's like um dude that's just a lie

she is here though

this much is true

oh my god i had forgotten how fucking angry i was about emma's new music

although that said, i think it's changed again

it's still not as good as her proper music, but better than last week

cfo$ are clearly going through a weird phase atm

corey is critiquing emma's hashtag efficiency

someone had to

the basic theme if this match thus far is 'tagging yourself in for giggles'

my inner bitch is loving the reluctant passive-aggressive teamwork in this match

(also my outer bitch)

(aka me)

as the smaller woman in the team, emma is performing her proper function of getting fucked on relentlessly

this rule does not apply to alexa, because her rage gives her virtual height

she's like one of those tiny dogs that will FUCKING HAVE YOU

emma finally gets a tag to nia, alexa gets a chance to vent at her

and get creamed

eats a big-ass samoan drop, sasha breaks up the pin after a moment of internal conflict

gets the tag, shining wizard for a nearfall

emma blind tags, nia leg drops sasha, emma gets the pin

i'll be honest, i was not expecting that

four-way should be good, though

emma celebrates extravagantly in the middle of the ring, nia's like um

and samoan drops her

nia will also fucking have you

back to the ambiguous backstage room, where renee has acquired a braun

asks what he's thinking before his first cage match

he's like really what the fuck was kurt thinking, this match might hurt me before my title match at no mercy but will definitely hurt company property

the man does a surprisingly good promo

but up next, seth and dean are back

their walk backstage is briefly interrupted  by elias thrashing out a new song

long beat as they just kind of stand there like what's up with this guy, then shrug and carry on, dean playing along on the air

but next, they fight the good brothers

after these ads for every show we make

back from ads, sheamus and cesaro are in the ring arguing with gallows and anderson for some reason

who am i kidding, you don't need a reason to bitch on those guys

seth and dean still using dean's intro

like, if you're going to just use one, seth's is way better

BURRRRRN IT DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN

ref eventually manages to usher the kkb out of the ring, match can commence

sheamus and cesaro seem to have settled on just sarcastically applauding from ringside

someone needs to get them popcorn

this match is a little formulaic, but damn do i love how in sync seth and dean still are as a team

seth/dean v jordan/gable v gargano/ciampa v dawson/wilder

give them a whole show, best tag match possible

as opposed to this particular long-ass superplex setup that didn't even work

dean counters a chokeslam into a dropkick, which is p cool

seth gets the hot tag, commences to jump off every goddamn rope before braun and show fuck them up

dean tries to join in, does a shitty suicide dive

seth hits a lovely top-rope frankensteiner on anderson, the kkb try to interfere, seth gets the pin anyway because they're just that good

and then the good brothers take sheamus and cesaro out while they're distracted

they take a long moment to consider their options, then go back to the ring to fuck up anderson and gallows

and now here's the connor's cure video basically the same as last year, because history and cancer haven't changed much

and they've got the wwe makeup department in to give kids superstar redesigns

that's kind of sweet

and steph giving them all hype ring announcements is cute

dammit, i've fallen for a cute ill kids advert

and they brought alexa, miz, and finn

which seems like a super weird collection

to inspire these kids with cancer, we've brought our resident bitch, a self-important asshole, and a guy who draws power from being possessed by a demon

perfect sense

but up next, main event time

but first, cruiserweight recap vt?

because now we see enzo and his mates in the locker room being annoying

cue sarcastic clapping from neville

and news that those three have all qualified for a five-way elimination match for a title shot at no mercy

neville sows dissesnsion with a few ominous geordie words

closeups of techs reinforcing the ring

and now charly interviews the ref from the ring explosion match, of all people

oh, apparently the ring's double reinforced

not just reinforced

fancy

he's like welp this match is gonna be carnage i'm just going to focus on dodging

and now renee gives big show a hype chat

gah, i'd forgotten his new hairlessness

come on show, give us a YOUUUUU DID THISSSSS TOOO MEEEEEEEEEE

Shockingly, Giant Baby Show says Braun ain’t shit

the dramatic climax of the promo is just show telling us his own nickname

you know how i said braun could promo surprisingly well?

well...not that

seriously guys, how many ads do we need for total bellas?

it's back

we know

ad for 205, in which we learn that the other two slots in the 5-way are kendrick and nese, for no adequately established reason

wait, has anyone seen kurt and show at the same time?

feels like we might have a dr angle and mr show thing going on

corey just referred to braun as "the steam-breathing monster"

um

i have no clue what to say to that

is he coal-powered?

bell rings, braun kicks show in the face

ha

and starts bodychecking him into the cage

weirdly, it goes wrong on the fourth one

show counters with a magic fist, doesn't climb the cage for some reason, cut to ads

cut back and nothing at all has happened

ecept show is now taking his turn to throw his opponent into the cage walls

show starts climbing, braun follows

weird scale going on, since they can both stand on the top rope and touch the top of the cage

show gets crotched really hard

guys, stop doing that spot

it is not good for you

show sets up on the top rope, everyone goes wtf

and does an elbow drop for the first time in like two decades

doesn't connect properly, but still a good moment

goes for the pin, braun kicks out at two because fuck you i'm braun strowman

show crawls for the door, braun walks over, grabs it, and hits show in the face with it

then braun tries to walk over show to get the door himself, and show does eexactly the same thing back to him

see, that was just dumb

braun kind of wanders into a chokeslam, then counters into a ddt for a nearfall

few spots later, show manages to land the chokeslam, braun kicks out because see the above re: fuck you

show goes for a magic fist, braun counters into a powerslam, show counters out and throws braun into the wall

show goes for the climb, followed by braun

gets his chest over the top before braun drags him back down because NOT FINISHED WITH YOU

i have never seen big show on the top rope this much before

braun gets a superplex in, the double reinforcement does its job

still a hell of a crash

and running powerslam for the pin

okay, i'm not usually one for large man punch fights, but that was actually really good

braun looms ominously over his fallen foe, then somehow acquires a mic

calls out brock to see big show's corpse as an object lesson

long ominous beat, then tells big show it's time to go to pasture, picks him up, and powerslams him through one wall of the cage

crowd goes wild

next time they should maybe think about also double reinforcing the cage

show lies on the broken cage wall going aaaa i'm dying, braun stalks off and roars, end show

in all senses

right, well, i've got some bad news

the horizontal line's off in Marbella this week, so we're gonna have to roll straight on

-checks the list of test slogans again-

MONDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN!: Takes Hotter Than Your Dad.

i swear, the things i do so we can have somewhere to record this show that's only occasionally filled with vengeful woodland animals

so yes, the raccoon incident aside, let's watch mackdown

or indeed smackdown

mackdown is the wrestling dating sim i am now going to have to make

opening on a weirdly-saturated recap package of the orton/nakamura situation

the worst holmes story

and yes, the best thing about smackdown today

i'd had it spoiled, but still

JBL IS FUCKING GONE

he's off to do charity work, so we get the double whammy of disadvantaged kids getting support and me not having to listen to his voice

and they've replaced him with corey, making pretty much the ideal announce panel

Tom: "Did you miss me, Graves?" Corey: "Yes!" Tom: "I...am surprised!"

i live for these two talking shit

so yes, orton/nakamura tonight for a title shot at hiac

and here's randy, standing in three-quarter profile in a dimly lit corridor

yknow, like people do

and giving a speech about how he' gonna fuck shinsuke up

cut to shinsuke shadow boxing in the locker room

tells us about how he's gonna fuck randy up, i mostly get distracted by his left shoulder, which i hadn't noticed before

it's kind of fucked

i'm guessing that's a dislocation that healed weird

cut to the ring, and ellsworth announces his bae

only to be interrupted by...kevin?

he's decided he's going to be guest referee for carmella's match with nattie

begins trying to intimidate the ref into taking his shirt off

here's shane

who may have opinions on this fuckery

takes a moment for a cheap pop before getting into professional mode

he's just like kevin

dude

sort your shit out

long tense faceoff

shane's like maybe take responsibility for all these failures which are in all ways your fault

kevin's like fuck you i don't even want to be on this show

shane's like well yeah, cos this isn't the bullshit show where we just give people belts

kevin calls shane out on him needlessly inserting himself into eveything on the show

mentions his dad, gets an ooooooh, mentions his kids, shane immediately gets in his face like fuck you

kevin spins the helicopter crash into this, says his family would all be better off if he'd died there

mentions his kids again, shane explodes on him

well, he did warn him

trips getting out of the ring, killing the moment a bit

throws kevin over the announce table and just absolutely goes to town on him

security pull them apart, bryan turns up to be like the fuck are you doing dude that's an employee

and give the most disapproving dad look you've ever seen

and...cut to an ad for total bellas

way to maintain the mood, guys

and recaps of what happened thirty seconds ago

in which they've edited out shane tripping

ha

backstage, kevin staggers through the room supported by three officials

bryan comes out to apologise

kevin promises to sue shane, wwe, and the entire mcmahon family

bryan's like wow, that seems wildly disproportionate

kevin's like fine, i'll go press assault charges insteads

cut back to announce, corey and byron are both like well he totally deserved that

but yes, now we actually have that carmella/nattie match

recap from last week reminds me precisely how fucking awful carmella's singlet was

thankfully, she's back to normal gear today

provided you count bright orange leggings with leopard-print piping as normal

announce team start spinning next week's 'Sin City Smackdown'

carmella gets her face punched off, retreats to her ellsworth

pan out to naomi watching the match with a look of deep concentration as carmella does a long-ass guillotine choke

nattie powerslams her out, gets a comeback

carmella superkicks nattie, gets a nearfall, ellsworth gives the ref the briefcase

carmella's like wtf no i'm not cashing in give my that back, throws it at ellsworth, and gets rolled up for the pin

ellsworth comes back into the ring to apologise profusely

carmella starts being all magnanimous, then opens up on him

including using the same line twice

calls him a 'genetic defect'

and asks how he's still employed at wwe

really, the question we were all asking

"You are a charity case, and your mother should have given you away at birth!"

wow

harsh

and officially dumps him

takes her case, struts off

leaving james in the ring and the depths of despair

backstage, here's shane looking conflicted

up next, dolph ziggler re-debuts

i have no clue how this is going to go

expect everything

after these ads for the myc and no mercy

and tom giving us a talk about paediatric cancer

roll the video again

refer to my comments above

well, that gave me plenty of time to curate my itunes library

fringe benefits

and here's the dolph

looking...exactly the same

he's got a mic

presumably to tell the fans to go fuck themselves

yup

railing at the fans for not appreciating the greatest performer in the company

and they'd prefer some dumb gimmick

lights go back down, and here he is again

doing cena's entrance

all credit to the crowd for the DOLPH ZIGGLER SUUUUUUUCKS singalong

dolph's like hey, did that not work? i'll try another

lights go down again, and now he's...who had land of hope and glory?

-research break-

yeah, thought it was him

dude, if you're gonna do a macho man entrance, you could at least have the shades

gives up on it, shouts at the crows for not doing the usual nostalgia pop

sends his valet away

and now he promises to have exactly what the crowd want and deserve

and...now he's naomi

the fuck is this

does the knee slide, then gives up

all gimmicks are defeated by ennui

and now he's back to railing against the idea of gimmicks, because anyone can do them

says he, after clearly showing that not everyone can dance like naomi

tells the fans they make him sick, stomps off backstage

so that happened?

up next, sami zayn v aiden english

because this is 2014 nxt, apparently

aiden gets about one line into his aria before sami's music interrupts him

oh yeah, this is the rematch from last week when kevin fucked on everything

and aiden gets a rollup out of nowhere

that lasted about 90 seconds

the bookers have some sort of problem with sami

and aiden's got his mic back

so he can give us some more singing

swiftly tailing off as sami chases him out of the room

let's have yet another recap of shane brutalising an employee

pan out to bryan rewatching it

only to get interrupted by the new day

here to lift his spirits

oh, and here are the usos

to do the opposite

announcing the stipulation for next week

street fight

which seems ill-advised when you're fighting a team of three

bryan gets a call, ushers the new day out

someone bryan calls 'sir' (so vince) wants him to do something in the ring

i know what, because i have a dreadful habit of going on twitter and getting spoilers, but i'll maintain the mystery for now

bryan disagrees, is shut down

and he's going to do............IT right now

(couldn't resist)

and here he is in the arena

gets in the ring, calls shane to come too

he doesn't

finally, here he comes

with nary a HERE COME THE MONEYYYYYYY

not sure i've ever seen either of these this sombre

bryan's like remember last year when the miz was pushing me every week and i made the bold choice to NOT FUCKING ATTACK HIM?

bottom line, you can't assault our employees

fair policy

shane's like yeah sorry but when people talk about my family i go crazy

bryan's just i don't give a single shit you've endangered this entire show because we both know kevin's a vindictive bastard who'll take us for everything

shane offers to go and reconcile with kevin

bryan's like no, i talked to your dad, you're suspended indefinitely

and leaves

shane's left in the ring like welp

why would you leave him there if he was suspended?

eh, wrestling logic

many crowd chants later, shane slumps off

gets a lot of thank you chants for a man who's just been suspended for attacking an employee

and now renee is in the blue curtain room to interview jinder

in an ugly-ass houndstooth suit

asks which guy he'd rather fight, he doesn't give a shit

claims he represents asia better than shinsuke ever could, despite shinsuke actually being from fucking asia

does the promo again in punjabi to speak to 3% of the great nation of india

back in the arena, aj's on announce

to talk about paediatric cancer

(i feel like i'll be writing that phrase a lot in the next few weeks)

and here's baron

sidebar fact: "Won the Money In The Bank ladder match earlier this year"

guys, maybe stop reminding people of that

recap vt of styles/dillinger last week

and of baron being a tool

i feel like i might need to specify that more

and here's tye

and they haven't synced his music with his new tron, so the sexy number voice says 10 when the video's on about 6

kind of love the KO'S A BITCH sign in the crowd

works on many levels

baron slides out of the ring to face off with aj, so tye just jumps out and fucks him up against the barricade

solid advice: maybe keep an eye on the other guy in the match

cut to ads, come back to a really slick spot of baron lariating tye's head off

tye tries to set up for the tye breaker, is thwarted by his opponent being large and heavy

and baron continues to stop having the match he's actually having so he can shout at aj

and i love the complete lack of shit aj gives

baron scores a cheap shot to tye's throat, angering aj, and end of days for the pin

actually a pretty good match

you forget that tye's got a lot of skill in the ring

aj is shocked at baron's lack of honour

because he doesn't watch the show, i guess

up next, "a special look at bobby roode"

ok, whoever edited it to go directly from saying that to a total bellas advert needs firing

backstage, aj congratulates tye on his fight and says next week, the us open challenge will only be open to him

dude

that's not an open challenge

that's just a challenge

and now for a bobby roode video package

enhanced by corey being on this show now so he can run hype for him

and now we're backstage with ellsworth pleading for carmella to forgive him

and being like yes i'm subhuman and i don't deserve anything please take me back

this is not healthy

carmella says from now on, they're doing things her way

gives him a huge kiss, then slaps his face off

flounces off, leaving ellsworth to be like the actual fuck is my life

but now we have a main event

here comes the very finest in flailing japanese men

and adverts for all our other shows

and also a fucking snaaaaaaake

loving the contrast of entrances

incredibly theatrical alien dance vs walking slowly down the ramp

cut over to jinder and the singhs in his skybox

tom mispronounces kinshasa even before the bell rings

this is why we got corey on here

whoever you are trying to get your MAGA sign to constantly show up on hardcam, kindly fuck off

randy does a massive hotshot, aided by shinsuke being an extremely floppy man when he wants to be

randy goes for his draping ddt out to the floor, shinsuke reverse out because that would be dangerous as fuck if he hit it

throws shinsuke into the announce desk, corey's like this is the worst first day ever

shinsuke just decides to get a comeback spot like oh hey maybe i should just kick him in the face a bunch

superplex to shinsuke, and the setup only took a small percentage of my life this time

lovely spot as shinsuke's reeling on his knees then just leans back into doing his cmoooooooon

goes for a kinshasa, randy counters into a snap powerslam

into a draping ddt, because you know randy's spots

strikes up the snake, which is still weird when your whole thing is hitting it out of nowhere

goes for an rko, shinsuke counters into an armbar then transitions to a triangle

that was fucking lovely

randy powers out, shinsuke counters an rko into a backstabber

see, this is how you preserve finishers

and kinshasa for the pin

oh, sorry corey

KINSHAAAAAASSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAA

(totally why corey's here)

well thank fuck for that, i'm not sure i could have taken another orton/mahal rematch without taking up amateur tattooing or something

backstage, bryan tells kevin they're done

kevin's like fuck that, imma run the show next week

and bryan drops the bomb that vince'll be there next week to sort shit out

great

ah well

and brief cut back to shinsuke partying so we have something to end on

and thus we finish the week's shows

by which i do of course mean last week's shows

one day i'll actually get my shit together and be punctuahahahahaaaa sorry i couldn't get through that

[Don’t forget to follow Emma on Twitter, where she’s @Waruce]