#golf is such a terrible sport to use as cover that's why it would be funny if they actually use it

[starkholme]

Kacy undercover mission but listen... GOLF CAMP. We all know Lucy comes from a rich family and imagine if she's the only one who can actually play golf??? To make matters worse, there's a LBTQIA+ golf union who's behind some schemes envolving military agents and NCIS has to take the case after one of them is found d*ad, check notes, only two lesbians in the team can do this trick and make it seem real

[purplesurveys]

1221

Are you mad at your best friend right now? I have absolutely no reason to be angry with Angela now and certainly not since our last petty childhood fight in like, 2009.

Do you know anybody with a pet snake? I used to know somebody, but she’s since gone off the radar and idek if her pet snake would still be alive at this point.

Do you buy your underwear in a pack or seperately? I can go either way.

Have you ever made fun of anybody and later became their friend? OMG yesss this was the entire background of my friendship with Sofie. Though I wouldn’t say I made fun of her...I just found her really annoying at first, and quite ditzy, too. Then something just clicked and worked out along the way and we ended up being best friends for quite some time until we went our separate ways shortly after college life started.

Is the lamp on in the room you're in? Yes; it’s one of my favorite pieces in my room.

Do you have a pair of shoes that you can only wear with one or two outfits? Nah, not really. I mostly own sneakers, which can go with most things casual.

Is there any drink that you absolutely MUST drink cold? Most drinks, honestly; but mainly, I like my coffee and water cold.

Did you sleep in past noon today? I don’t think I’ve ever done that. The latest I’ve woken up is probably a little over 10.

Did your grandma ever tell you about her love life? Neither of them have.

Have you ever painted anybody's nails aside from your own? Possibly, but I no longer recall it.

Anything exciting happening in the month of September? I don’t think so. There are couple of birthdays in the family, but we don’t have plans for those days yet.

Who is your last missed call from? Some media or blogger I ignored because I don’t take calls.

When was the last time you ate Frosted Flakes? I can’t remember...I don’t really eat cereal.

Did you ever NOT want a substitute in a certain class? Yeah, for classes I hated, like math.

Do you ever donate to the less fortunate? Not regularly. When a homeless person or street child knocks on my car while waiting in traffic I do try to give them some money and/or snack, if I have one in my bag.

Did you buy an American flag after 9/11 to put on your car/house/ whatever? I was barely conscious in 2001. I am also not American.

Do you know any songs that are older than you are? ...Many?

Are there framed pictures of you anywhere in your house? Yeah we have some framed photos going up the staircase. I also have my Prep graduation portrait up in my room.

Compared to other people of your age would you be considered 'NORMAL'? Ugh.

Honestly, do you have any Hilary Duff on your MP3 player? I don’t have an MP3 player but I don’t think I ever had Hilary Duff on any of my music players.

Who is worst in your family about calling people back? Probably Nina as she hates making calls to begin with.

Do you like peanut M&M's? Nah, I hate nuts in my chocolate.

When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Safe to say well over a year ago. It’s not my snack of choice haha I never understood why I had to bite into my ice cream.

When was the last time you ate jelly beans? August 2019.

When was the last time you had hot chocolate? Around a month ago, I’d say? My mom fixes me a mug of hot choco every once in a while.

Have you ever caught a friend cheating on their bf/gf? I haven’t.

What was the last song stuck in your head? I think it had been Rain by BTS.

Do you enjoy doing math? If I know how the math works and have the formulas memorized, I can definitely find it fun. Math had actually been pretty manageable for me in school, at least right until we reached trig and calc which were just bleck.

Do you think your mom has secrets she’s never told you? Oh without a doubt. I’m 200% sure everyone in the family has secrets we never share; we’re not open with each other.

Do you own anything you don’t want your parents to know about? Yes.

Do you pose in your pictures or just smile? I will pose if I’m comfortable but most of the time I just smile.

Are there any colors you will NOT wear? I avoid orange as much as possible.

Do you use scented soap in the shower? Nah, just a normal-scented one.

Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? That was never part of my plans, no. 

Who was the last person you danced with? Enjoyable? Angela and Hans. I was drunk, so yes I had fun lol.

Do you like convertibles? I don’t really care for them, or for cars in general.

Have you ever yelled at the television? So many times, usually when a favorite singer or band is performing OR when I’m watching a really intense sports game - usually basketball or wrestling.

How many songs on your MP3 player are about sex? -

Do you like water parks? I think they are nasty for the most part.

Dark or light colored jeans? Light.

Can you take apart a computer and name all the parts? Nope.

Can you take apart a car and name all the parts? Even more so no.

Would your friends describe you as nerdy? I don’t think they would.

How many different colors are you wearing right now? Five.

Have you ever purchased a lotto ticket? Nope.

--

Are you double-jointed anywhere? I am not.

What is the longest amount of time you've spent playing Monopoly? You know, I’ve never even understood the rules of Monopoly...I’ve never bothered to play a round of it. Board games are usually too complicated for me lol.

Have you ever witnessed a tornado first-hand? Not a tornado, no. But I’ve experienced countless hurricanes and floods.

Did you play in the sand box as a kid? It was my favorite part of the playground and I was always exclusively found in a sandbox. I liked the texture (still do) + no one was ever there, so as a shy kid it worked out perfectly for me.

How about on the monkey bars? I tried it every now and then but I wasn’t a very active kid, so my arms would feel strained fairly quickly. It was never the first thing I’d run to whenever I got to go to the playground.

Have you ever made an alarm go off? I don’t think so.

Have you ever colored your eyebrows? Nope.

Did you ever own a pop-up book? Many of them, as a kid.

Have you ever honked at a biker? Yes but only whenever they swerve a little bit and are about to hit my car.

Have you ever taken another person's prescribed medication? No?

Have you ever played golf (not miniature golf)? No, I’ve played neither version. The sport doesn’t interest me.

Do you use gel in your hair? Only for formal events where I can’t afford to show up with my hair all frizzy.

Do you own a garden gnome? We don’t.

Are any of the rooms in your house painted blue? Nope, they’re all white. My parents’ room used to be green (came with the house), but it looked gross so it didn’t take long before they hired someone to paint the walls white.

Do you kick off your shoes as soon as you walk in the door? Yes. Actually, since the start of COVID, we’ve taken to removing our shoes even before we enter. We have a mat right by the front door where we can properly take off our shoes and head inside already barefoot.

Have you ever judged a book by its cover? Sometimes, but I don’t let it linger.

What is the most effective device at the gym? I don’t go to the gym.

Can you drive a stick shift? Hahahaha no, and I’m not so sure I’m ever willing to learn.

Have you ever picked on a substitute teacher? That’s mean and no, I haven’t.

How good are you at giving directions? Terrible. As much as possible I don’t do it and just refer the person asking to my nearest friend/companion.

When was the last time you looked out the window nearest you? Just a few minutes ago, actually. I put an arm out to check if it’s chilly outside since it rained all day today.

Have you ever got dressed with the windows open? Never. I make sure to pull down my blinds every time.

Have you ever given a foot massage? No.

Do public restrooms freak you out? They don’t freak me out per se but like I rarely go into them and use them, even before Covid. The idea of sharing a toilet with strangers is super gross lol and many of them don’t even put away their trash properly.

Have you ever taken a shower outside? I may have, but nothing sticks out.

Have you ever been to a junkyard? I don’t think so.

What do you think of Brad Pitt? I don’t really have an opinion...I loved his episode on Friends, but that’s it.

Have you ever watched the History Channel willingly? Yes, a few times.

Have you ever used pennies to pay for something that cost over 50 cents? I don’t speak US currency, but yeah there’ve been around 1-2 times I had to pay for something worth P50 with just coins. It’s always been embarrassing lol so I try to avoid it and be prepared with paper bills as much as I can.

If a place makes you pay for delivery - do you still tip the driver? Yes.

Without the aid of a cell phone - do you know your parents numbers by heart? Just my mom’s. Since my dad is always in and out of the country (at least until the pandemic), I’ve never gotten to memorize his number.

Can you name 10 former presidents? Arroyo, Macapagal, Aquino, another Aquino, Estrada, Ramos, Magsaysay, Quirino, Quezon, Roxas.

But if we’re talking about US presidents...Obama, Trump, Clinton, Roosevelt, another Roosevelt I believe, Nixon, Reagan, Carter, Lincoln, Washington. I hope I got them right hahaha.

Have you ever bought a gift for a teacher? Just as a kid.

Is your bedroom carpeted? Nope.

Right now, what color is your tongue? Pink.

When was the last time you had a Tootsie Pop? Years ago. I don’t have it a lot.

If you could get the cell phone of your choice - what would it be? iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Who is your favorite super hero? I don’t have any.

How about your favorite villain? I don’t really have any, either.

Do you know anybody who works at a bank? Possibly, but I can’t place a name right now.

What do you usually order from your favorite fast food place? That would be KFC, and I usually order either their Zinger or Twister. FUCK now I want to get KFC :((

Do you hand out candy to kids on Halloween? No, because none of them ever reach this part of the village. We never have to prepare any candy lol.

What perfume/cologne do you wear the most? Heat Rush.

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? I always miss out on one or two.

Does the early bird really catch the worm? Idk what this expression is.

[xlady-saya]

there’s always more to learn [fic]

Pairings: andrew/neil, aaron/katelyn

Tags: wholesome twinyards, fluff, more aaron suffering, references to canon violence/abuse

read on ao3! 

Aaron's leg bounces impatiently as the clock in Bee's office ticks agonizingly slow. There's only five minutes left in today's session, and Aaron is more than ready to bolt out of there.

Katelyn is waiting. The weekend is waiting.

He's glad they rescheduled this week's session to Friday, but it doesn't make the waiting easier. If anything, time is seeping like molasses.

To his left, Andrew is stirring his fifth mug of cocoa with a spoon, even though there's no reason to mix it. Every few seconds, out of time with the ticking clock, the spoon hits the side of the cup and clangs into the quiet of the room.

Aaron is almost positive Andrew does this on purpose just to annoy him. Every. Time.

Aaron slides a glare towards his twin, with less heat than usual, while Andrew stares innocently ahead.

Aaron rolls his eyes; Andrew can act as unaffected as he wants, he's probably just as impatient. Aaron sees it in the subtle fidgeting, the way Andrew just can't quite seem to get comfortable in the cozy armchair.

What an ass, Aaron thinks, but there's an edge of fondness to it. Today's session had actually been...pleasant. He feels smooth, cleansed, instead of just raw.

This was becoming a more common occurrence, much to Aaron's shock. Sure, they would still discuss Tilda, or the trial, or the years spent apart, unaware of each other’s existence. Those conversations never got easy, but they got better. When they first started going to these joint therapy sessions, Aaron would storm out more often than not. The days he stayed meant tense, murderous silence, or cutting words which tore open new issues neither one of them even knew about.

The silence which settles over them this time is different. It's satisfied, not full of tension waiting to explode because of one of Aaron's careless remarks or Andrew's bluntness.

It's been like this for a while now. Aaron talks, Andrew responds, Bee mediates. They take small steps forward, with the occasional leap, but more often than not they get mutual understanding out of each other.

It's still a battle some days, but the fact Andrew is actually putting in an effort is enough to make Aaron put in his own.

Ever since he'd grown to accept Andrew's feelings for Neil as equivalent to his own for Katelyn, things had been moving even faster in the right direction.

It's why today is even possible, when months ago it would've been a terrible idea.

Aaron's stomach flips at the reminder of Katelyn, waiting for him outside, and he probably looks like he has to take a giant shit with how he has to force down his giddy smile.

Andrew shifts in his seat again, staring at the clock.

Of course, Bee misses none of it. She's usually more than happy to engage in small talk to wind down the last five minutes of their sessions, but today she'd let them sit in the comfortable silence, simply at peace with one another. Now though, with three minutes on the clock, she chooses to comment.

Goddamn shrinks...

"Well, you two seem excited," she says, voice warm without being prying. They don't have to respond, there's no pressure there, and Aaron decides eh, why not?

Andrew grunts something which Aaron takes as his attempt at denial, because after all, Andrew doesn't feel excitement. Or, that's what he used to say. It's becoming a less frequent statement, one Bee no doubt finds joy in. There's hardly any real fight in Andrew's unimpressed stare, and he doesn't seem to have any desire to elaborate. Bee must sense it too, Andrew's implied agreement to her statement, and she beams at his progress.

Aaron shares a look with his twin, who just shrugs, like he can't be bothered with explaining.

'You do it,' the looks says. Aaron still isn't used to how normal this feels, making plans with his brother, talking about them, spending time together that isn't part of some deal or debt.

"Katelyn and I have a mini golf date after this," he tells Bee, letting his face relax into a small smile. He can't help it when Katelyn is involved, and he wonders if the affection will ever wear off. He hopes not. "She invited Neil and Andrew."

'O-M-G, a double date!' Nicky had proclaimed obnoxiously, tears welling in his eyes. 'I'm so proud of you guys!'

Idiot.

But, he wasn't wrong. Aaron hadn't expected Andrew to say yes, but before he knew it they bought the tickets and made plans to drive to the mini-golf course after their session. It's new territory, with a lot of room for error, but Aaron lets himself be hopeful for once.

Either way, he gets to spend the night with Katelyn and hold her close while she tries to line up the ball.

Aaron sighs dreamily; it's a date night, so Katelyn will probably wear a skirt. He can't wait.

Beside him, Andrew scoffs.

"That's lovely!" Bee says, her face lighting up and she pulls her hands together. "I think it's great you two are spending more time together."

'More time.' More than the study sessions and video game nights. Voluntary time, and it's actually...not awful.

Aaron looks over to his twin and decides to say fuck it once again. This is what therapy is for right? Trying to be honest?

"Me too," he mutters, reluctant but no less truthful. Andrew's eyes slide over to him and they share a long look. Andrew's blank mask gives nothing away, but there's something swimming in the void beneath, an intensity, an acquiescence. Andrew tilts his head forward, a ghost of a nod, and Aaron's chest tightens up.

A beat passes and Andrew finally takes a sip of cocoa before he speaks, tone giving nothing away. "I just want to prove Neil isn't good at every sport."

Aaron snorts, he'd like to see that too. So far, the Foxes had been unable to find a physical activity Neil didn't pick up fast.

It's infuriating.

Satisfied with sharing like this for the remaining few minutes, Aaron sighs again. "Katelyn is cute when she focuses too hard on the game," he tells Bee, already picturing Katelyn's flushed face when her ball barely misses the hole-in-one.

Bee's smile turns a little smug. "It seems they're both competitive then?"

"I guess," Aaron says with a shrug, not really thinking about it. Katelyn is a hard worker, she hates to lose. It's sexy and adorable, and whoever wins usually gets a reward when they get home...

Aaron fully intends to cash in.

Andrew scoffs, like it doesn't even begin to cover Neil. It really doesn't. The little asshole is probably already taking the fucking game too seriously, and it's mini-golf. Aaron doesn't get how he and Katelyn get along so well, Neil's intensity is on another level.

It pisses Aaron off.

Bee's laugh is delicate, a chirp. "I must say, when you told me the two of them were becoming fast friends all those months ago, I wasn't surprised," she says. "Though I suppose you two must've already had a laugh about it."

The assumption that Andrew has ever 'had a laugh' while sober isn't worth pointing out, he's sure Bee knows anyways.

Andrew squints at her at the same time Aaron does, and something close to confusion settles on his usually neutral features. They share a look, and it suddenly feels like they're treading on thin ice.

Aaron hopes he's just paranoid, like he doesn't hear a bomb countdown in his head.

"What do you mean?" Aaron asks, cautiously. When Neil and Katelyn began to hang out, neither he nor Andrew really tried to stop it. It wasn't their call, but back then they'd been less than happy about it. Aaron had been shocked; after all, Andrew had threatened Katelyn while Neil just watched. Somehow, the event was less scary in Katelyn’s mind now, and it bloomed into some begrudging respect for Neil which had no issue spiraling into a weird friendship. Now, it's just a fact of life.

Aaron has no doubt Neil would throw Katelyn to the dogs for Andrew or the Foxes, but he treats Katelyn well and never lies to her, something she seems to value immensely from him.

Aaron doesn't get it, but Katelyn likes Neil and Neil doesn’t seem opposed to her either. Whatever.

He and Andrew don't mention it, never had a sit down about it. They certainly never had a laugh about it. Why would they?

"Well, the two of them are so alike," Bee goes on, oblivious to the tension leaking into the space. Her smile is pleasant, teasing. "It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

The world freezes on its axis.

Andrew inhales a little too loudly the same time Aaron chokes on his spit. "W-What?"

The question levitates in the air, a second away from freefall.

Deceptively calm, Andrew puts his mug down with a harsh thud on the coffee table. Their time is up, but neither of them move.

Aaron would feel pride at seeing Bee so dumbstruck, if his brain wasn't liquifying in his head.

"Oh," Bee breathes, looking between the two of them slowly. She purses her lips. "You didn't know."

It's the match which lights the fire in Aaron's blood. He shoots forward, hands clenched in the couch cushions.

"That bastard is nothing like Katelyn!" Aaron spits, and Bee's smile is gone. How could she even think that?

In an instant, Aaron pictures a side by side of Katelyn and Neil. His cute, put together girlfriend who always smiles and gets along with everyone.

Then there's fucking Neil, and his all hoodie wardrobe with resting bitch face and a short fuse.

And okay, perhaps he should've phrased that better. He has no issues with his twin's relationship anymore, but he isn't exactly ready to entertain the idea that...oh god no, it's impossible.

Dobson's really off her rocker with this one.

Their feelings are the same, not their significant others.

"Aaron, that language is insulting," she reprimands, gesturing to his brother. "Neil is very important to Andrew--"

"I'll allow it," Andrew interrupts with a hand raised, shocking them all. Aaron realizes too late what the concession means though. It's classic Andrew philosophy: equal exchange. He wheels on Aaron quickly, the motion smooth and deliberate. "Sorority girl isn't exactly defying any stereotypes. Even if I was inclined to women, I doubt she'd do it for me."

Translation: 'My bastard is nothing like Katelyn, thank fuck for that.'

"Fuck you Andrew," Aaron bites back. It's a weird feeling, arguing without being enraged. There's no threat of violence here, and Aaron laughs at the ridiculousness of it. "Josten could offer to put me through med school and I still wouldn't screw him."

Andrew leans back, eyes scanning Aaron up and down. "Why would Neil want anything to do with a face like yours?"

"I look just like you."

"Mm," Andrew hums, unconvinced.

Bee looks at her watch, as if considering how far she wants to let this go given the time. "Perhaps it's best we unpack this another time. Aaron, I do want you to think about why it is you feel so insulted. I thought you liked having good things in common with Andrew?"

"I do, but not this!" Aaron says, fake retching. Andrew just stews in his chair.

He and Andrew having similar tastes in who they like is not something he can handle. It's way too close for comfort, and although he's accepted Neil's importance in his brother's life, that doesn't mean he's suddenly Aaron's favorite person.

Neil...Katelyn...alike...

Aaron's brain scrambles to piece it together.

Something akin to amusement crosses Bee's face before it disappears, and Aaron glares at her as murderously as he can manage.

"Look Bee, we're agreeing," Andrew says after a bit, tipping his mug of cocoa back as if it were a shot. "Are you proud?"

Well, at least they're on the same page about Bee's latest opinion: it's completely unfounded.

"Katelyn is sweet, and kind, and considerate," Aaron lists. "Your boy toy is abrasive, impulsive, and doesn't know how to keep his damn mouth shut!"

Andrew shrugs, unimpressed. "You say all that like they're bad things."

"To most people they are."

"Boring."

Before Aaron can launch into another tirade, Bee decides she's had enough. She laughs amicably, putting up her hands in surrender. The sound is lighthearted, and it's amazing how she can sense when the twins are having a legitimate fight versus just being asshole siblings; normal.

Aaron crosses his arms at the same time Andrew does.

"I only meant that they are alike in their feelings for you, and how they express them," Bee points out, as she has many times before. Aaron forces himself to listen to her try to backpedal. "They're both pillars of strength in your lives who you communicate well with. Right?"

Aaron and Andrew share another look; it's hard for them to admit still, but they passed that milestone weeks ago. They mumble their agreement under their breath.

Bee grins.

"But well, you're right I suppose," she sighs, patting down the ruffles of her skirt as she stands. "They have very different personalities. You two would know best."

Yeah, we would.

"Anyways, I've kept you too long as is. Go have fun on your date," Bee says, serene smile back in place. Something in the air shifts, and Aaron can't place the feeling.

Maybe it's impending doom.

Andrew still regards his therapist with suspicion as he stands, as if waiting for something else, something more.

But Bee only waves at them as they cross the room to the door. "See you both next week!"

--

When they walk out of Reddin, Neil is leaning against the hood of the Maserati with Katelyn. They're talking about something, probably that show Katelyn had gotten Neil into the past month (very hard to accomplish, Matt is still asking her how she did it). It's a normal sight, seeing them calmly discussing and laughing every now and again.

But now, instead of brushing it off, Aaron analyzes everything.

Ah, that's what he felt earlier. A seed being planted.

This is a fucking nightmare.

Aaron almost thinks he's the only one affected, until Andrew falters in step beside him. The blond pauses, hesitation clear in his movements. It's so unlike Andrew, it sends chills down Aaron's spine.

Aaron watches the light bounce through Katelyn's reddish brown hair, as if lighting it on fire with streaks of gold. She's gorgeous, with sun-kissed skin and blue eyes which never fail to make Aaron melt.

Usually, the sight makes all his problems disappear; Katelyn has a way of clearing his head, making him feel sane.

But then his eyes slide over to Neil, and oh god, he sees it. He can't unsee it. Neil's messy bangs catch the sunlight in almost the same way, bringing out more of its reddish color. Icy blue eyes stand out against tan skin, the result of hours spent on a track. Even with the scars, the resemblance is there.

They're basically the same height too, which is just another fuck you from the universe.

"It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

"Andrew," he whispers to his brother, fearful, urgent.

Andrew's response is so quick it burns Aaron. "No," he states, end of conversation. Aaron gets the message loud and clear. If we don't talk about it we can pretend it's not true.

Aaron is 100% on board.

They walk towards the car, making their presence known, and Neil and Katelyn spot them at the same time. Their faces light up in almost the same way, though Neil's expression is more guarded, toned down for Andrew's sake. Is this always how it happens?

Aaron groans internally.

Yup, pretending is going to be a lot harder than he thought.

Andrew stills a little, and Neil's smile falters, raising an eyebrow in question. Andrew shakes his head, and it's enough. Neil relaxes in an instant.

The way they do that will never not be creepy.

It settles Aaron for the moment; Neil and Andrew are so different from him and Katelyn in everything they do. Still, he has a feeling this isn't the end of this.

For now though, he pushes the thought away as he reaches Katelyn, letting her kiss his cheek and wash his worries away. He really is excited to spend time with her, he'd be with her all the time if he could. He'll never understand why she looks at him like that, he doesn't deserve it. There's an adoration in her eyes every time he walks into a room, like she's the lucky one.

How wrong she is.

"Ready to lose?" She teases, hooking her pinky around his as they pile into the backseat. Aaron smirks at the challenge.

Oh, she's going to get it. "We'll see."

Aaron glances up to see what the hold up is, only to find Andrew whispering with Neil as his hand slowly trails down Neil's arm. The touch is gentle, and strangely intimate. Andrew's hand stops at Neil's wrist, pressing down. Neil laughs breathily, and Aaron catches the end of some Russian words.

He doesn't understand them, but he knows no one else is meant to hear.

He tears his gaze away to settle in the back with Katelyn, giving her all his attention, and doesn't bat an eye when Neil and Andrew slip into the front seats.

--

Neil is going to win, because of course he is.

It becomes painfully obvious five holes in, with Neil's natural movements and controlled tilts of the club.

Andrew's face gives away nothing the entire time, but the subtle shift of his eyes between his club and Neil's triumphant face says a lot.

The striker has already managed three holes in one, with Andrew close behind with two, but at this point his twin has to know it's a lost cause. Aaron doesn't miss the twitch of Andrew's jaw, and it's enough to soothe the blow of Neil being good at something.

Sorta.

Cutely, Katelyn blows her bangs out of her face, determined to catch up. She's been frozen with the ball lined up for a good two minutes now, and Aaron is in no mood to rush her. Her skirt flutters in the wind, her face flushed from the breeze. Aaron's jacket is short on her, matching well with her crop top. Sometimes Aaron wonders if she dresses off season just for the excuse to wear his clothes.

He hopes she never stops, and his eyes scan the smooth skin of her abdomen.

Aaron gives up around hole six. It's not just his dead last ranking, he's never been good at golf. It's mostly because winning isn't the real goal for the night.

Katelyn flicks her eyes to him as she smiles, full of apology for taking too long. Like Aaron minds.

He doubts Andrew and Neil notice either; he watches Andrew follow Neil to the next hole with disinterest, like he regrets the whole evening. Aaron can't see his face from where he stands, but he sees Neil's soften at something in his twin's expression.

Yeah, the rest of the world might as well be chopped liver. Aaron can relate.

He turns back to Katelyn, and recalls analyzing her for a different reason. When they first started playing, he'd tracked her and Neil's movements, watching them both tilt their heads left and right, appraising the perfect angles. Neil's hand would come up to brush his bangs at the same time Katelyn's did, and they'd bite down on their bottom lips in anticipation.

It was almost synchronized.

He and Andrew exchanged a glance, but said nothing.

Stupid. Coincidence. Don't think about it.

And since then, Aaron hasn’t. His mood has been too good.

With Andrew and Neil out of sight, Aaron allows himself a smile, and slides up behind Katelyn. His hands rest easily on her hips, and she doesn't even flinch at the contact, so used to Aaron's hands. So trusting.

Aaron swallows down the lump in his throat. Ever since the trial, he thought she'd be done with him. Katelyn, her future so promising and heart so pure...

What could she want with someone like him, hands stained with blood?

But she'd never hesitated to pull him back.

"Mm, hi," Katelyn giggles, leaning back into him as her hips sway. "Gonna help me line up?"

Aaron rolls his eyes fondly, placing his hands over the grip, swinging the club forward slightly. "I don't know how much more I can do. You're taking this a little too far for someone nearly in last."

She scoffs, affronted. "Says the one actually in last. Thank goodness Neil is as competitive as me."

Aaron tries not to stiffen. "Ugh, he's so annoying."

Katelyn laughs, reading Aaron's groan as his normal Neil-based contempt. He grips her waist tighter, forcing Bee's words away.

"I knew I'd never win," Aaron shrugs, ignoring his girlfriend's smirk as best he can. "We can be losers together."

"I don't feel like a loser with you," she whispers, turning her head to graze her lips along his ear. Aaron doesn't bother to repress his shiver.

"Sap."

"You like it."

And in that moment, Aaron can no longer resist. He steals Katelyn's lips in a passionate kiss, thankful there's no one else around thanks to the chilly weather. Katelyn whimpers in his mouth, her muscles turning to jelly, and she swings the club lightly before abandoning it completely.

The ball flies way off course, bouncing from the green and onto the sidewalk, but he doesn't care. Neither of them do, and he sighs when Katelyn leans all the way into him.

When Katelyn's legs are less jelly-like, she runs off to collect her ball while Aaron trudges ahead. He doesn't expect to see the shadows of Neil and Andrew still at the next hole; he and Katelyn were preoccupied for a while, but when he catches a glimpse of the scene, he understands.

It's over and done the moment Andrew hears his footsteps, moving away from Neil in one swift movement.

It's like nothing ever happened, Andrew's hands stuffed in his pockets; the only evidence is Neil hastily picking up his club.

But Aaron saw.

He didn't miss the closeness, Neil's back pressed to Andrew's chest as he leaned back for a kiss. He heard the end of Neil's sigh, his body melting to relax against Andrew.

Ah yes, he understands the sense of impending doom in Bee's office now. This is definitely going to be another one of those lessons isn't it?

He sighs; there's no avoiding it, only postponing. He walks up the Andrew calmly, not meeting his eye, even when Katelyn and Neil stand side by side again. It's so clear, like this.

Aaron glares into the void.

He wants to groan, to hate this.

But he can't.

--

The universe is an even bigger bitch than Neil.

Once the seed had been planted, it was like there was evidence everywhere. It's as if they'd been walking through a crime scene for months but just now noticed all the bloodshed.

They're sitting in the stadium lounge because of a rainstorm, waiting for the rain to subside just enough to get to their cars. Nicky complains loudly in the corner about missing his phone date with Erik, and Aaron blocks out the more inappropriate details.

He's in a good mood again; Katelyn came to see him practice, since cheer practice had been cancelled. She sits at the low coffee table in the lounge, scribbling away in her journal and shooting Aaron flirty glances.

It's great, and not even the Foxes' bickering can change that.

The lightning cuts through the walls again.

Okay, maybe they should leave.

Normally after a grueling practice, the Foxes would've braved the elements no matter how bad. They all just wanted to go home. Today is especially bad, lightning crackling in the sky.

Allison had been adamant they wait, but it seemed to only be getting worse.

"If even a single raindrop gets on me, it's your ass Day," she states, almost out of nowhere.

Kevin looks up from his dumb homework, wrinkles looking as old as his soul. Aaron is waiting for the day he snaps. It's one of the only bets he participates in. "Why me?"

Allison shrugs, like it's obvious. "I dunno, just feel like it."

"You do make it easy Kevin," Nicky interrupts, nodding sagely. Aaron actually laughs.

"Stop bullying Kevin, it's giving me a headache," Wymack yells from where he's polishing their trophy, probably just as unhappy at their presence. There's only so much he can tolerate in one day. He loves them, but they're all assholes.

"You're his father, you're biased," Nicky shoots back, flipping imaginary hair over his shoulder.

"You think I want to hear him whine?"

Kevin's hands go up in offense. The edges of a tribal tattoo peek out from where his sleeve falls, a work in progress that’s still healing and that they’re all pretty sure makes Wymack cry.  "I literally did nothing to deserve this."

Katelyn's laugh is sweet and good natured, cutting through their usual banter. "You guys are such sweet friends!"

Dan and Matt beam from where they're flopped over each other on the couch, more content to watch the rest of them argue. They're being oddly clingy, and Aaron doubts he's going to be seeing his room anytime soon.

"Aw, and you're an angel!" Nicky slides onto the floor next to Katelyn, hugging her tight. She's one of the only ones who can take the crushing weight of Nicky's hugs. "How did Aaron get so lucky?"

And well, he really must be in a good mood, because his reply comes smoothly and without hesitation. He doesn't care who's around. "I don't know," he breathes out with a smile, and Katelyn's eyes widen, icy blue shining in adoration.

The moment doesn't last long. A chorus of 'awws' fill the room, and Aaron's smile shifts into a frown almost comically. "Oh shut the fuck up."

Cigarette smoke fills his nostrils, and he looks to where his brother is dutifully smoking a cigarette indoors. He guesses Wymack is too tired to scold him, but for once Andrew's bored stare is welcome. At least he never has to worry about Andrew joining in on the Foxes' teasing.

Not in the traditional way anyways.

Andrew's eyes flick to the locker room entrance every now and again, waiting for Neil to emerge. He catalogs it for later, as ammo, before his attention flies back to Katelyn.

Katelyn bites her lip to keep down her grin, but then her eyes widen in gleeful realization. She pops up to join him against the wall, pulling out a few colorful bags from her backpack.

Instantly, Aaron knows what they are, can almost taste the salt. He's never been good with cravings, obviously.

He smiles at his own morbid joke, but it's overshadowed by actual appreciation. If Andrew has a thing for ice cream, then Aaron has a thing for chips. Specifically, this brand, with its alternating flavors.

"I almost forgot! I was at the store earlier and I saw these," Katelyn says as Aaron is already tearing open a bag. "It's the flavor you like, so I bought a big stash. It's under my bed at the dorm."

God, Aaron could marry her right then. He bites down on a chip, biting back a sigh. He's lucky he plays a sport, or he'd have some serious health issues because of these things.

"You're so thoughtful," he says, and he means it, pulling her in by the back of the neck to kiss her forehead. "I love you."

"They're chips not a kidney," Andrew deadpans from the window, still not looking at any of them. Matt snorts, but Aaron for a blissful moment that his brother isn't there.

"I think it's adorable," Renee throws into the silence, and Aaron is thankful.

He shoots her a nod as he loops his arm around Katelyn's waist, pulling her close. His next words are directed at one person and one person only. "I like that Katelyn knows me so well," he jabs, and feels Andrew pause mid-drag.

But that's the most he gets; he counts it as a win. As far as reactions go, this is a gold mine from Andrew. His twin fixes him with a bored stare. "Ah to be known..."

Aaron huffs, a self-satisfied grin stuck in place.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, I can't take it anymore," Matt urges as he jumps to his feet. Dan is quick to follow, the two hand and hand.

Aaron can't help but roll his eyes. "You just want the dorm to yourself for an extra fifteen minutes."

Matt waggles his eyebrows. "You got me there. Ready to run for it?"

Renee and Allison follow them dutifully, knowing he won't wait more than a few seconds for them to actually agree. With a scowl to freeze hell, Allison drapes her team jacket over her perfectly styled hair.

Honestly, why even make the effort.

The thunder booms again as they rush out the door, their silhouettes disappearing in the heavy rain. He's glad Andrew lets Katelyn in his car now, or else they'd be walking back to the dorms.

This is better too, because Katelyn has to sit in his lap. He's really glad she came.

Neil, as usual, walks in last, always holding them up despite his speedy reputation. His hair sticks to his forehead as he strolls out into the lounge, damp from a shower and muscles relaxed. "Where is everyone?"

Andrew takes too long to respond, if he was going to attempt it at all. His eyes scan Neil up and down before the interest is seemingly gone.

"Getting wet probably," Aaron remarks, trying not to be grossed out about what that look might mean for the two of them later. He's staying at Katelyn's.

"And not in the fun way," Katelyn jokes before her cheeks light up red, too relaxed in Aaron's presence. Adorable. "Oopsie."

Neil turns to her, blue eyes marred with confusion. "I don't get it."

Of course you don't.

It's not even the fact it's a sex joke, because Neil can pick up on their innuendos more often than not. The result of years on the run simply means a lot of slang goes over Neil's head.

Aaron scoffs.

Nicky sighs, unsurprised but just as disappointed. "Hey Neil, are you sure you and Andrew have sex?"

"Nicky." Andrew's voice is toneless, but cutting, and Katelyn backs herself and Aaron away in preparation for a potential strike. Her survival instincts have improved after time around the Foxes.

Nicky throws his hands up in surrender. At one point he might've been scared, nervous at Andrew's warning. Aaron knows things have been getting better between the two of them too though, and Nicky seems exasperated at most. "Alright, alright! Just saying."

Andrew's glare is gone in a blink, and he regards Neil's lost expression as he stubs out his cigarette. "I'll explain later."

Good enough for Neil, apparently. The striker walks over to Andrew as casually as possible while the rest of them collect their bags, but the energy in his step is there. Aaron might even call it giddiness.

Andrew raises a brow as Neil stops in front of him, amusement swimming beneath the surface. It's gone as soon as Neil shrugs off his jacket and pushes it into Andrew's arms. Andrew doesn't move to take it, letting it fall to the floor. Neil snorts, no doubt expecting it. "C'mon, I know you're cold."

His smirk is teasing as he stares at Andrew's exposed shoulders a little too long. Katelyn leans in to whisper in Aaron's ear. "Guess your brother has as little cold tolerance as you do."

"Whatever," he mutters, much to her amusement.

It's freezing okay? At least he's not wearing a muscle t-shirt like Andrew. Idiot.

Andrew and Neil have a stare down for another five seconds before Andrew scoops up the jacket in the most petulant display Aaron has ever seen.

"You know nothing," Andrew says, shoving his arms through the sleeves as he ignores Neil's bright grin. Before he can turn away towards the door, Neil's voice stops him again, yanking him back.

"Oh by the way," Neil says with the wave of a hand. He fishes into his bag to pull out a king size Milky Way, only slightly crushed from whatever crap he keeps in there.

He hands it to Andrew as if it's a roll of money, as payment for a deal. Maybe he knows candy is just that important to Andrew.

Andrew stares at it, no doubt having the same crisis Aaron is currently having.

It doesn't matter, doesn't mean anything. Lots of boyfriends and girlfriends buy each other things...it's normal.

He glances quickly between Neil and Katelyn.

They're not alike. They're not.

"I got it for you, you ate your last one right?" Neil asks, shrugging with the ghost of a smile. "I know you like the dark chocolate better but they were out."

"I didn't ask," Andrew states, still staring at the candy bar in his hand.

Neil smirks, walking past him and out into the rain without a care. He is mindful not to brush their shoulders though. "You didn't need to."

Andrew's grunt is left up to interpretation, and Aaron doesn't care to figure out what it means.

Katelyn happily runs after Neil, eager to get to the car. Andrew's shoulders relax as he pulls out his keys, stuffing the candy in the jacket pocket for later.

As much as Bee's words ring in Aaron's head, annoying and worrisome, Aaron can't help but take advantage.

Andrew deserves it.

He stops right as he's about to pass Andrew, watching Neil and Katelyn jump in a puddle on accident. As if sensing Aaron's shit-eating grin, Andrew turns, and the words breeze out of Aaron's mouth. "Ah, to be known--"

"Fuck you."

--

Aaron makes a list in his head, because he can't resist it. It only grows as he notices more things, which doesn't help his stress.

Neil and Katelyn. Katelyn and Neil.

They're both dense when it comes to flirting.

They're both thoughtful when it concerns the twins (but Neil is still an asshole in every other arena of life okay, that's not up for debate.)

They're both competitive.

Lightweights.

Focused.

Straightforward.

That doesn't begin to cover the physical things Aaron had noticed earlier, but he forces himself to stop there. He doesn't know how much more he can take. Is it really possible? Could his beautiful, thoughtful girlfriend be anything like that arrogant exy addict?

Aaron scratches his head furiously as he trudges up the stairs to his dorm; he doesn't have time to be worrying about this. He skipped his last class for extra review time, so he better take advantage of the team's absence. Even sharing a room with Matt doesn't guarantee him peace and quiet. The Foxes all end up congregating one way or another, but Aaron knows they've all got full schedules at this time.

It's perfect, but his hope dies when he rounds the hall and hears voices coming from an open door. It's Andrew's dorm.

That's odd, he thinks. It's not like Andrew or Neil to be home at this time, and Kevin and Nicky wouldn't be far behind them.

Aaron slows as he passes, and a flash of blond is all he sees for a moment. Aaron's feet stick to the floor as he jolts back.

Andrew sits on the couch in the dorm, staring at nothing. It wouldn't be so uncommon any other day, but something in his eyes makes Aaron's blood run cold.

Or maybe it's the absence of something, the absence of anything.

If he didn't know better, he'd think Andrew a corpse. But the tense set to his jaw and shoulders say otherwise. He's never seen someone seem wound so tight but so defeated all at once.

He's definitely not used to seeing it from his brother.

There's a pale, haunted quality to his face, like he's not really there, like he's somewhere else far, far away from all of this. Knowing where Andrew has been, what he's seen...

Aaron doesn't want to think about what Andrew's going through in that moment, but he has a few ideas. The echoes of a drugged cackle poison Aaron's thoughts and he bites the inside of his cheek hard.

Andrew's bad days...he hardly lets anyone see them, and Aaron's next thought is so selfish it twists him up inside.

For a second, he's glad Andrew hides this...these days of his where nothing's okay. Aaron wouldn't know the first thing about dealing with them, and offering any real help would be nothing more than an unattainable hope.

It chokes him; he hates himself for standing there, for seeing, for staring like Andrew is some caged animal waiting to strike. He knows he has to leave, he knows, but he doesn't know how to move.

He's not the one who makes the decision for him; like a ghost, Neil crosses the front of the doorway, obscuring Aaron's view of the whole scene. His scarred hand flies to the door, as if meaning to slam it shut, to keep Andrew protected, when Neil recognizes him.

However, there's a split second where he does not, and Aaron is treated to another rare sight. For a moment, that stupid session with Bee pops back into his mind. The part of his brain which isn't frozen by Neil's stare laughs at him; ah, finally, a difference.

Because see, there's no doubt about it. Katelyn and Neil are fiercely protective, and Aaron knows Katelyn would be there for him in his lowest moments. She's proved it; she was there after Drake's attack, after the first few brutal therapy sessions. Always listening, caring.

But here is where Aaron sees a critical gap between her and Neil, and he's reminded none too kindly that Neil was born in a world of blood and flesh.

Katelyn's humble suburbia was always out of his reach.

The look which crosses the striker's face is downright murderous, pure contempt dripping off his threatening grin. The guard dog is out in full force, but it's so much more than that. This smile...it's so sharp edged and without remorse, it can only come from years of training to be a force of pain and suffering.

The Butcher's Boy, one article had called him.

It's the kind of smile which makes a promise. It says no matter how cutting it may look, it's nothing compared to what the wearer's hands can do.

Had Aaron been anyone else, a stranger, a genuine threat...

He wonders what Neil would've done.

But then the look is gone, falling from Neil's expression as he realizes it's Aaron. The cool, assessing stare is back, and some of the tension fades. He still keeps the door partly closed, his body blocking Andrew from Aaron's vision.

Aaron just stares.

He and Neil get along better now, for sure, but there's always going to be suspicion between them both. Part of Aaron will always have the fear of Neil hurting Andrew, and Neil will always have the fear of Aaron doing the same.

After all, Aaron has misunderstood his brother before, hasn't he?

Vile words screamed in therapy replay in his head, and he swallows down the guilt.

He guesses for once, he can't blame Neil.

"Problem?" Neil eventually whispers, fixing Aaron with a look which dares him to say anything about Andrew.

The reflexive glare and biting retort fade before they can even manifest. Aaron looks down at his shoes, trying to find words to show Neil he gets it, that he understands.

He's not at that point yet though, and he knows it.

But one day, he hopes to be.

"No," he settles on instead."I don't think there is."

He wonders what it means when Neil's body relaxes, and Aaron's chest fills with warmth.

--

The next incident doesn't happen for a few days, lulling them both into a fall sense of security. Andrew is back to normal, if not walking a little faster in Neil's direction.

Aaron is too relieved to comment on it.

He sometimes wonders why the universe is out to get him specifically, but he reminds himself that he's somehow managed his way out of every bad situation one way or another.

He figures it's best not to question it, but the anguish is still real.

He's walking with Andrew to the track where cheer practice is held, since Neil and Katelyn told them to meet up there before meeting Nicky for dinner.

It's mandatory on Thursdays now, no matter how many times they try to skip. Nicky finds them.

Bringing Katelyn into things had been a dirty trick, and Aaron mostly blames Neil for proving to everyone it works. Now, Nicky isn't above using his girlfriend against him. On the flipside, Neil has no reason to refuse Nicky's invitation. And like that, Andrew's presence is ensured, at least for an hour.

Aaron wishes he was clever enough to sneak away undetected like his twin.

As he's about to voice his complaints, they reach the top of the hill overlooking the field, and Andrew halts right in front of him.

It's so abrupt, Aaron barely dodges walking right into his brother. It's a good thing too; Andrew (much to Aaron's jealousy) is built like a brick wall. Even without the threat of a bruised nose, touching Andrew from behind is never a good idea for anyone's health.

Aaron yelps, glaring at his twin as he stumbles to the side. "Andrew, what the fuck?"

Andrew doesn't respond, his stare fixed straight ahead and twitching more and more by the second.

Aaron turns his head, trying to see the source of the problem when the wind is knocked out of him. He spins back towards his brother not even a second later, eyes frantic.

"No," he pleads, he's not sure to who. His whisper is the definition of panic. "Andrew no--"

"Shut up," Andrew bites out, setting his jaw. "It doesn't mean anything."

How can you say that? "Seriously?!"

He points a finger towards the field, as if that explains everything. He knows it does.

Down on the green he watches Katelyn and Neil take turns with various cheerleading moves. The cartwheels and tumbling come easy to both of them, their bodies lithe and flexible, and fucking Josten just has to be a fast learner. The striker watches Katelyn intently as she demonstrates a handstand before falling back to a standing position. Neil manages to copy it perfectly, and Katelyn claps in elation next to him.

There's no way Aaron is awake. The worst thing is, Neil looks pretty comfortable, like they've done this before. How had he and Andrew missed all this?

Aaron almost falls to his knees in defeat, and momentarily thinks of paying up to Bee even though there's no actual bet in place. "Hey, if Josten becomes a cheerleader I'm going to break all of Dobson's figurines and then blind myself with the shards."

It gets Andrew's attention at the very least. He looks back over at Aaron, unimpressed. "Don't be so dramatic."

Yeah, I'm not the one who stopped in my tracks...

A beat of silence passes between them as they watch Neil and Katelyn bounce around, carefree and energetic. Something soft lodges itself inside Aaron's chest despite his annoyance, and he notices Andrew's shoulders release some of the pent up tension.

Aaron tries to guess what Andrew is thinking, nothing unusual there. It's an interesting speculation though. Even as just Neil's teammate, Aaron wonders what it means to Andrew to see someone with Neil's history look so content.

It's probably not something their kind is usually afforded; freedom, leisure, contentedness.

With the shared vulnerability sitting in the air between them, Aaron finds room for a step forward. Sighing, he stuffs his hands into his pockets awkwardly. If Andrew is ready to talk about it, so is he. "Do you think...maybe Dobson had a poin--"

"No."

Aaron rolls his eyes. Ok, fine. He guesses it's not time yet after all.

They stand there until Neil and Katelyn finish, taking a water break and checking their phones. The moment passes by heavily, the beginnings of understanding stirring between them whether Andrew likes it or not.

Of course, Andrew can ruin any moment.

Neil starts his cool down stretches, and Andrew's eyes flit up his strong legs, lingering a bit too long.

Aaron sputters, face flushing in realization. "Are...are you seriously checking him out right now? With me right here?!"

Andrew rolls his eyes, finally stalking off towards the field. "Don't worry, I won't pop a boner like you did freshman year."

Something in Aaron dies, remembering all too vividly the first time he saw Katelyn practice. He shoves down the embarrassment, but the agony stays. "That was one time!"

--

They somehow end up at the same lunch table in the courtyard one afternoon. Aaron knows he keeps labeling these instances as rare and unplanned, but they're starting to become too frequent for him to ignore.

And it's surreal, not being so uptight around his brother, waiting for a fight to break out between them. It's more than he'd ever thought they'd have.

It's nice.

Or it would be, if vermin didn't exist.

Katelyn and Neil are exchanging exercise tips across the table, Katelyn flipping through her phone to show Neil some good stretches for certain cheer moves. Aaron isn't quite sure how they'll be useful in an exy game, but he's not going to stop Neil from burning off any of his annoyingly high energy. Beside Aaron, Andrew reads his newest novel, eyes appraising Neil every now and again.

It's then two guys from the football team walk by, regarding them both with a clear intent. Aaron's hackles are immediately raised; he's never seen these two before, but it's obvious Neil and Katelyn have from how quickly their smiles leave their faces.

Ah, classmates then.

"Trying to be a cheerleader now Josten?" The one whose jacket reads McGuire taunts. "Knew you had no shame."

Katelyn bristles immediately, never one for random hostility. How she gets along with the Foxes at all is a miracle. "Hey--"

Neil stops her protests with a hand to her wrist, and his unimpressed stare is only one indication of his connection to Andrew.

Of course, Neil's back-talking abilities are all his own.

"Is that really the best you can do?" He sighs, inconvenienced by this whole thing. The shift is amazing, his lazy grin and determined stare gone in favor of tiredness. This is obviously not the first time he's dealt with these douchebags, and Aaron is astounded Neil didn't put them in their place already.

Perhaps Wymack's anger management lectures are sticking a little.

"I'm sure you've seen the news articles," Neil continues when the two aren't quick enough to respond, the edges of his blade-like smile slipping now and again. "You think that's what's going to get to me, some jabs about cheerleading? I'm shaking."

Aaron will give it to him, he sure knows how to make someone feel lower than dirt. Neil doesn't bother to make eye contact at all, almost talking through the two lumbering jocks. They would beat Neil into the dirt easily based on size and upper body muscle alone, but no one ever gets away unscathed when Neil is involved.

Douche #2 bristles, face flushing red. "Listen you--"

"Are we done here?" Neil bites out, and Katelyn is smirking at his side. "More of my brain cells die the longer you're in my way.

Katelyn winces, performative. "Is that why I have a headache? It's contagious."

Hearing Katelyn say something not nice is enough to have Aaron's brain stalling, rendering him useless.

McGuire's anger is all for Neil as he growls. "You're going to regret that mouth of yours."

Ha-ha.

In the corner of his eye, Aaron sees Andrew's hand curl around his armbands, right where a knife should be. Threats to Neil aren't things he takes well, but they have an agreement.

Neil can fight his own battles, until he can't.

"All things I've heard before," the striker waves them off dismissively, but there's a new wave of heat in his eyes. "I don't give a fuck what you say about me, it's nothing I haven't heard, and just like you, it'll be forgotten in the blink of an eye."

It's the biggest of insults to people so full of themselves, and McGuire means to lunge when his friend clamps down on his shoulders.

Aaron thinks it's a rare demonstration of defeat, but he should know better.

"C'mon don't punish them too much man," Douche #2 says, fake pity swelling his words. At this point, Katelyn and Neil are back staring at their phones, Neil's awareness only given away by the hand poised to block a hit at a moment's notice. They're the picture of 'I don't care what you say about us,' until they're no longer the targets. "Their lives are hard enough, they're already dating the Minyards."

Neil's posture does a 180 in an instant, the same time Katelyn's untroubled expression wrinkles up in anger. Neil's full attention is on the two now, and they shrink back an inch. Neil's voice is a snarl. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Katelyn isn't far behind, fists clenched on the table. "Yeah, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Now, Aaron knows at this point he should step in. It's not Katelyn's or Neil's fight anymore. It's his name, Andrew's name, being thrown around in the dirt. He can handle himself, can give as much as he gets and then some. But the fury on Katelyn's face has him sitting like a stone in his seat, throat dried up like the brush Neil's glare could set fire to.

Beside him, his twin assesses the scene in his own way, with an expression Aaron cannot read. Goddammit Andrew.

McGuire laughs, like the answer is obvious. He must not have any real experience with Andrew or the rumors about him, because most people wouldn't dare provoke the sleeping lion in Andrew's chest. That, or they're both actually that stupid. "How can you stand these midgets? Do they make you feel good about yourselves because of their shitshow lives? Must've been hard to find someone more messed up than you, Josten."

"Dunno why you'd waste your time with a criminal Katelyn," Douche #2 throws in. "You guys have a thing for that?"

Something in Katelyn snaps, and she shoots up from her seat quickly enough to make Aaron flinch. Andrew regards her for once.

"Aaron is twice the man you'll ever be," she huffs, laughing in disbelief. "You're just jealous he's top of the class and on the Exy team, and Andrew is already being scouted by the pros! Neil--"

And of course, Neil doesn't like to hear anyone sing his praises. He cuts Katelyn's temper off with his own, hand still around her wrist. In the back of his mind, Aaron thinks to ask Katelyn how much she keeps up with Andrew's life, how she sees it as important despite how cruel he was to her, how uncompromising.

The feeling in Aaron's lungs is suffocating.

"They actually have futures, so keep their names out of your idiot mouths," Neil warns, the promise of pain hard to ignore. Andrew's eyes never leave Neil's face. "If Andrew doesn't kill you, I will. He's got nothing to prove, neither does Aaron. You're both pathetic compared to them, so shut up with your cheap blows."

"Totally! Leave our boyfriends alone!" Katelyn crosses her arms, her high ponytail swishing from the abruptness of it. She's huffing, not nearly as composed as Neil, but just as upset. Protective.

Neil laughs beside her, dry and over this conversation. He drags Katelyn back down easily, but never touching her more than he has to. "Don't be too mean to them Katelyn, they're obviously trying to overcompensate for something."

Both jocks flinch, but any kind of response dies on their lips.

"How sad," Katelyn throws in airily, bringing out the full extent of her sorority girl cattiness.

McGuire, red in the face from humiliation, tries to salvage what he can. "Why you--"

"Bye," Neil and Katelyn say at the same time, waving them off in clear dismissal. Their eyes are back to staring at their phones, point made. It's...impressive, but Aaron will never admit it.

He's glad he never got on Katelyn's bad side.

Kicked to the curb, the two idiots slink off with tails between their legs. It's as if someone presses play again on the scene, because the sounds of the courtyard and the muffled conversations of nearby tables fill Aaron's ears again.

He notices Andrew, tense, sit back on the bench. Aaron hadn't seen him move to get up, but he guesses Andrew is torn between chasing after those guys to threaten them on his own and simply staring at Neil like he's some kind of alien. Maybe he is. Andrew's expression is comical, like he's not sure whether to be angry with Neil about trying to protect him when he doesn't need it, or pull him into a kiss.

Aaron would rather not think about the last one, or the innocent spin he's putting on it. If his brother feels anything like he does, there's a lot more than kissing on his mind right now.

Neil looks over at Andrew, a secret passing between them as Neil smiles in another way, softer than Aaron is comfortable with.

He tears his gaze away.

"Anyways, I was thinking we could all go see that new movie this weekend," Katelyn's cheery voice returns, as if nothing happened. She's shoving her phone too close to Neil's face, almost making him cross-eyed.

Neil's confusion, for whatever reason, makes Aaron want to slap him. Maybe because a minute ago he looked ready to gut someone. "I can't, I never saw the first one. Allison told me it's a sequel."

Katelyn gasps, her hand slapping the table. "Oh my god Neil! You have to watch it," she insists, turning on Aaron so fast he yelps. "Aaron, tell him he has to watch it."

Aaron blinks, once at his girlfriend, then once at Neil. "Uh, you have to watch it?"

Neil squints at him, tilting his head at Katelyn even as the words are completely directed at him. "Why do I care what Aaron thinks?"

"Fuck off Josten."

Katelyn only giggles. She's never believed Aaron and Neil disliked each other, and over time, he's starting to think she's right.

Neil is still the worst though. He forces himself to believe it, but he can't ever forget the way Neil just defended him without question. Rude.

"I'll send you the link so you can watch it online, you'll love it I promise. Andrew can watch with you!"

Katelyn knows Neil too well for only knowing him a short time. Neil's face lights up at the suggestion, a silent question directed at Andrew in the next second.

Andrew just sighs, nodding once.

It must fucking make Josten's day, that's how relaxed he looks.

Damn you.

Katelyn giggles, checking her screen for the time. Her smile is replaced by panic. Instinctually, her hand flies out to grab Neil, her manicured hands digging into his jacket. "Oh shoot, we're gonna be late for class!"

She bumps her knee as she stands, shoving her books hastily (along with a half eaten donut) into her backpack. Neil is less in a hurry, but he doesn't seem to mind being dragged by the arm towards the math building. Nerd.

"Bye sweetie," Katelyn throws over her shoulder, blowing him a kiss. There's a blush on her face, no doubt because of the incident from before, and Aaron's answering grin says they're not done talking about it.

He plans to show his appreciation, thoroughly.

"Yeah uh...bye...I love you! A lot." Yes, very cool. He clears his throat, but if anything, his lack of smoothness makes Katelyn beam brighter.

"I love you too!"

"I'll be home soon," Neil says, more subdued but no less of a promise. For a blink, it's like only he and Andrew exist in the world.

"I don't care," Andrew states, but he never breaks eye contact, and even Aaron doesn't believe him. For so long, his brother cared about next to nothing. The difference is impossible not to notice.

Neil must feel the same way.

"Sure you don't," he grins, smug and hinting at things which make Aaron want to puke. Amusement crosses Andrew's face before it's gone, and Aaron rolls his eyes. "See you later."

And like that, they're gone.

The quiet between them is charged, but not volatile like they're used to. There's defeat laced in it, an elephant sitting in the room. It never left probably, not since that session with Dobson.

In his head, Aaron adds another thing to the list: quick tempers.

"Andrew..." He tries again, knowing he doesn't have to explain any more than that as they stare at the spots Katelyn and Neil sat.

The refusal doesn't come as quick this time, he notes with a chill. Ah, they're getting close then.

"No," Andrew sighs finally, but it sounds so much more like resignation this time around.

--

Andrew and Neil are sitting at the top row of the empty stadium when Neil can't hold back his curiosity anymore.

Andrew senses it immediately, and dammit, he thought he had at least a few more days of peace.

Neil turns to Andrew lazily, but his gaze is anything but. Andrew knows the look, would know it in death. It spells trouble and a million other things he can't stand but which make his insides flip anyways. "Are you ever going to tell me what has you and Aaron acting all weird lately?"

Andrew releases a breath, craving a cigarette. He regards Neil lazily, but he's not looking for anything specific on his junkie's face. Andrew knew Neil had noticed something was on his mind the day after that fateful session with Bee, but he's been giving Andrew time.

Always considerate, always waiting for Andrew to be comfortable enough to broach the subject.

Andrew hates him, hates how much he doesn't.

Neil waits patiently for Andrew to collect his thoughts, not even fidgeting from where their shoulders are pressed together. It's cold out, Andrew wishes they were in bed. Kevin owes him for letting Thea visit.

But, seeing Neil in Andrew's jacket isn't the worst thing he's ever seen.

Andrew taps his fingers against Neil's open palm, but there's no need to find an excuse. He doesn't lie to Neil. "Bee said you and Katelyn were alike during our last session."

He strips the issue down to the bare bones, knowing Neil can read between the lines. Andrew will never admit to being upset by something so dumb, so he lets Neil bring it up for him. It's the same way Andrew won't let Neil get away with acting okay when he's definitely not.

Neil tilts his head, mulling over the words.

"Hm," he hums eventually, and much to Andrew's annoyance, Neil looks contemplative rather than shocked. "That bothers you."

And there it is.

Andrew runs a hand through his hair, his only tell that he's frustrated.

Bothers him?

Nothing is supposed to bother him, but he remembers feeling Bee's words like a bucket of ice water just like Aaron had.

He hates it, because he can't stop thinking about it.

Neil's hand closes around his, a grounding force. Andrew pulls away; he needs to see Neil's face, but he keeps their hands together so Neil knows he didn't overstep. Neil looks so pleased Andrew wants to shove him off his seat.

"It's untrue," he settles on instead, bypassing any kind of confession. Again, it's the simplest, non bullshit answer.

Amusement fills Neil's entire being, but he's not so dumb at least, because he keeps his laugh down.

Neil bites down on his bottom lip, the one Andrew nipped raw this morning in between kisses. "Is it? I think Katelyn and I accomplish the same thing, maybe that's what Bee meant."

Bee said the same thing. For someone who hates therapists so much, Neil sure can sound like them sometimes.

Andrew raises a brow, urging Neil to elaborate. It's payback, in a way. Neil's huff is a small salve for Andrew's annoyance.

Neil has never been gifted with words outside of lies and insults; these moments, where he tries to explain his innermost thoughts and feelings are as entertaining as they are brutal. Andrew often cannot handle them, but like a fool, he never wants to stop listening. The fact Neil's eloquence disappears at times like this is the only thing which helps Andrew keep it together.

Neil squirms in his seat, staring at their hands. "Well, Aaron likes Katelyn because she makes him feel normal, you know?"

Andrew makes no such indication that he knows.

Neil powers on admirably. "And...you like me because..."

Neil pauses, waiting for Andrew to the deny the statement, to counter it with the usual 'I hate you' so Neil can move on.

But Andrew doesn't have the energy for that, hasn't for a while. Neil's eyes widen when he realizes Andrew isn't going to refute anything, and seeing him so slack-jawed puts Andrew's mind in a whirl.

Oh, what is he going to do about this? Is there anything he can do, at this point? Over a year with Neil, and part of him knew he was done for weeks before Baltimore. Perhaps even months.

"I like you because?" Andrew sighs, the words foreign and sickly. This feeling...is uncomfortable, but not in the way a stranger's hands on him would be. It's the kind of squeamishness that comes from experiencing pleasure, experiencing warmth, when before he'd had no exposure to it.

It's new, but he knows Bee would want him to embrace it when he can. Today is not a bad day, so he does. And like everything, the more he says it, the less upsetting it'll be. The less undeserving he'll feel.

Smiling, and not bothering to try and hide it, Neil continues. "You and Aaron have been through a lot. Aaron doesn't like to think about it, he likes to know he's okay and that he can still enjoy a life other people would. Girls, parties, school."

Oh yes, he knows. He used to resent his brother for all of it, each step away from him in direct violation of their deal. Now, he knows Neil is right.

"Katelyn is his reassurance, his reminder of all that."

Aaron's perfect, sheltered cheerleader. Yet, she'd somehow managed to understand his twin despite all the ugliness. Her face stopped being offensive a while ago.

Neil, as if sensing Andrew's train of thought, smirks briefly. Shut it.

But Andrew doesn't mean it.

"But what you...prefer is understanding," Neil says, noticeably preventing himself from saying 'want' instead. Andrew says he does not want, though Neil has never believed him. "You and I don't shy away from the ugly parts of life because we can't..."

'It's all over us.' It goes unsaid. Neil's gaze settles on Andrew's armbands, seeing the scars underneath from memory alone. In the same vein, Andrew reaches up to dig his thumb into Neil's shoulder, exactly where he remembers an old bullet wound to be. Neil's breath catches, a pleased shiver rocking through him.

Andrew really hates Kevin now.

"Reassurance versus understanding. Those are the things you and Aaron value, so...I dunno. It makes sense to me," Neil whispers, shrugging. He does that, when he's not sure of himself, if he's not sure Andrew will accept the answer.

Neil is a fool, and he'll surely be the death of Andrew. He should've thrown him out onto the streets day one, but given the chance now he knows he won't.

He digs his finger harder into the bullet hole, kneading the flesh there as his eyes trace the rest of Neil's body, seeing the slashes littered all over it.

Anger rises in his throat unwarranted, and his grip on Neil's shoulder tightens without forgiveness. Neil doesn't flinch away, like he knows Andrew would never hurt him, and it makes Andrew hate this even more.

Because people have hurt Neil.

Yet he can still look at Andrew like that, he can still do stupid cartwheels and annoy Kevin and shop with Allison on the weekends.

He overcame everything to become Neil Josten, and who else could possibly know a thing about that?

"It does not mean you're the same," he growls out, hand untangling from Neil's to hold his face in his hands. Andrew's thumb slides over the ruined skin under Neil's eyes, where his nerves no longer work. "She does not have these, she'll never..."

She'll never know. She's not like you, no one is like you.

No one else could do this to Andrew, and it's so dangerous, such a weakness.

Andrew trembles from the force it takes to not push Neil away from him.

Neil knows better than to touch back, not when Andrew is giving so much, and Andrew glares at him for that. He's always giving Neil too much, and he doesn't know how to stop, doesn't even think about stopping.

Slowly, Neil reaches forward to grab the sleeve of Andrew's coat, tugging once. "I know that, Andrew I know."

Andrew's trembles subside from Neil's voice alone, and cautiously, Neil skims his fingers along the fabric of Andrew's forearms. His scars. Andrew's grip relaxes.

It's a touch he's familiar with now, it's Neil proving the understanding is real.

Andrew sags into his seat when Neil speaks again, boring into pools of icy blue. Neil never backs down from the intensity of Andrew's stare. "But we both care about you two in the same ways," Neil says, not letting Andrew interrupt despite the flinch of his shoulder. "We know what you like and what you hate and are good at knowing when you're not...okay. If anyone badmouthes you, we're quick to go for the throat. I'm fine, ugh, more than fine having those things in common with Katelyn. You know how I'm different, that's all I need."

'No one else should be able to see me like that.'

It's shockingly vulnerable coming from Neil, not something he affords to anyone outside his family of Foxes.

It voids Andrew's argument. He's still not necessarily on board with the assumption, the comparison of Neil and Katelyn, but he trusts Neil.

He thinks of Aaron then, and wonders if he's reached the same conclusion. Andrew sighs, knowing Bee will have an absolute fucking field day with this. The anger simmers and dies right then, and he resigns himself to the consequences. There's no room for regret.

Maybe it's not the worst thing for him and Aaron to share, having two hot-headed cart-wheelers caring about them.

Andrew grimaces, but pulls Neil flush against him anyways. It might as well be a white flag.

The air is cold, but Andrew can't feel the chill. Neil hums, pleased with the show of affection, and Andrew doesn't have the energy to warn him for it.

Instead, he lets Neil press against him, the weight natural and not threatening. Idly, Neil traces the lines on Andrew's palms, delighted when the touch tickles enough for Andrew to twitch.

It's peaceful in a way Andrew has never known, but is becoming increasingly commonplace now that he acknowledges their 'this.'

Maybe it has something to do with Aaron too, but that's neither here nor there.

Neil raises his head, the question barely out of his mouth before Andrew slots their lips together.

There's no urgency or harshness like there used to be, but Andrew stopped being concerned about that too. He doesn't like to think about how fast he got used to this.

Of course, Neil can never leave well enough alone, that or he just likes to annoy Andrew. It's probably both. When they break apart, Neil's grin is smug. "Although, as far as physical similarities go, you're shit out of luck there."

"Neil."

"What?" Neil asks innocently, ignoring the warning in Andrew's tone. "Is it really so bad to think you and Aaron might have a thing for redheads?"

"I'll push you down these stairs."

"You like me too much," Neil points out, and Andrew can't refute it when he admitted it only minutes before.

Fucking junkie.

"Stop assuming."

"It's the truth," Neil taunts, grin still in place. "Isn't it?"

And oh, fuck Neil Josten to hell and back.

Andrew really, really hates Kevin.

"Yes," he grits out, resisting the urge to punch that look off Neil's face. Instead, he goes for a different approach. His eyes trail up Neil's body from head to toe. The baggy jacket isn't doing Neil many favors, but his legs are still clad in those yoga pants Andrew can't stand, clinging to his muscular legs and narrow hips. Andrew pauses over Neil's collarbones, then the lines of his neck. There's a few bruises there still, courtesy of Andrew.

As if sensing the shift in the air, Neil swallows, and Andrew watches the bob of his throat with interest. "What?"

Andrew shrugs as lazily as he can. "I'm not so sure. She does not have these," he begins to list, grabbing the piercings lining Neil's left ear. Sensitive skin; Andrew hadn't protested when Neil had come home with the new jewelry, Matt's idea. Neil's breathing stutters. "Or this..."

Andrew's hand grazes over his adam's apple, pressing down teasingly.

It's so easy to get Neil worked up, Andrew thinks, a product of the striker's unlimited supply of energy. Andrew never has a problem helping Neil burn it off. Neil is so transfixed, eyes glazing over and breath coming out in harsh pants. He doesn't even notice Andrew's hand ghosting farther down, hovering right over his groin.

Andrew gets so close to touching, his fingers tickling the fabric of Neil's pants. But he doesn't, because he didn't ask. It doesn't dull the effect of his raspy voice on Neil. "Or this--"

Neil's face flushes as expected, red tinting his cheeks as he laughs and grabs Andrew's hand. "Andrew!"

Neil looks around, as if expecting someone to pop out of nowhere to witness their shamelessness, but the stadium is as empty as it was before.

The corners of Andrew's mouth twitch upwards, imperceptible to anyone who isn't Neil. His breath is coming out a little labored now too, especially with Neil stealing glances at him and putting no effort into being subtle. There's only one thing to say. "I hate Kevin."

Neil snorts, agreeing. "How many times have you thought that in the last hour?"

"Shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

And Andrew does, because there's no way he can refuse.

--

When he and Aaron go to their next session with Bee, they exchange a knowing glance. They're not dumb, they already know the subject is going to come up.

Aaron shifts in his seat uncomfortably when Bee sits in front of them, not quite sure how this'll play out. Of course, he's come to terms with Bee's statement from last time. Neil and Katelyn have a lot in common, and maybe it says something about the twins.

Sort of.

Whatever, he already drank plenty over it, and spent hours pushing the thoughts away while pinning Katelyn to her mattress.

It's fine, he's all good. He's accepted it.

That doesn't mean Andrew has, and Aaron eyes his twin nervously. Again, his brother takes a spoon to swirl his cocoa, letting it hit the rim each time. Bastard.

Bee is either oblivious to the tension in the room, or prepared for it. Aaron supposes she'd have to be.

She smiles at them, sweet as ever, and clicks her pen as the hour begins. "Well now, I guess I won't beat around the bush. Have either of you given a thought as to what we discussed last time?"

It's a ticking time bomb in Aaron's mind. The question is for them both, but he feels the spotlight settle on Andrew; the ball is in his court. He can either admit or deny, can condemn the whole session to hell with just a few words.

Andrew stops stirring his drink long enough to look between Aaron and Bee with disinterest. Aaron holds his breath while Andrew takes a sip of his mug, and then his twin just shrugs. "We might have a thing for redheads."

Aaron's jaw drops, and Bee's smile is overjoyed. Andrew looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world, but preferably with Neil.

Aaron is still staring at him stupidly when Bee clears her throat, her smile creasing her skin. "I'm very glad to hear you say that Andrew, thank you. Now, how about we discuss..."

Her words don't reach Aaron's ears quite yet. Andrew turns to him, a silent question, but Aaron only shakes his head, smiling in disbelief.

It's as much as they're going to get from him, they know, but it doesn't make it any less of a confession. It's Andrew acknowledging Bee's theory, accepting parts of it. Accepting Aaron again, as having more in common with him than a lifetime of strife.

Aaron settles back into the couch, limbs loose and chest light, and tries not to smile as much as he wants to.

Later, Katelyn tells Aaron to invite Andrew and Neil over to her dorm to watch that movie she mentioned.

He does, and it no longer feels like a shock when Andrew says yes.

[rebgarof]

“In the 19th century, a new movement called “muscular Christianity” deliberately connected moral and physical strength. Its proponents portrayed strenuous exercise and competitive sports as paths to hardy manliness, in opposition to what they saw as the softening feminization of Church and home. Muscular Christianity spurred the creation of the YMCA (and, by extension, basketball and volleyball). It became entwined with eugenics and imperialism, adding genetic and geopolitical “strength” to the metaphorical melting pot. It deeply influenced President Theodore Roosevelt, whose rugged persona was rooted in moving past the debilitating asthma of his childhood. “His effort to overcome the weakness of his youth instantiated itself through colonialism,” says Zoë Wool, a medical anthropologist at the University of Toronto. “He demonstrated strength through the claiming of nature in the name of the nation.”

This connection between physicality and righteousness created, as its dark corollary, a link between disability and moral failing. That explains why presidents like Woodrow Wilson and Franklin D. Roosevelt tried to cover up their disabilities, on the misguided notion that “someone with a disability can’t be a good decision maker,” says Wool. It explains, she adds, why “we take it for granted that every villain in every classic story will be physically marked in some way,” including Captain Hook, Darth Vader, multiple Bond villains, and Scar from The Lion King (who, for extra measure, is also coded as queer).

American society has long portrayed strength “as the opposite of disability and feminization,” Wool says. “Those go together, and are seen to be incapacitating. This is relevant in the case of Donald Trump.”“

(...)

“This strength-centered rhetoric is damaging for three reasons. First, it’s a terrible public-health message. It dissuades people from distancing themselves from others and wearing a mask, and equates those measures with weakness and cowardice. “The more you personify the virus, the more one version of heroism is to ignore it,” says Semino. “When people take that idea to extremes, they say, I’m strong. I’m not going to be cowed by this.”

Second, it ignores the more than 210,000 Americans who have died from COVID-19, and the uncounted thousands who have been disabled. Such dismissals are already common. In recent years, the ideologies of eugenics, where “if you’re sick, it’s your own fault and you don’t deserve support, [have] become more and more blatant,” says Pamela Block, an anthropologist at Western University. As the pandemic progressed, many saw the deaths of elderly people, or those with preexisting conditions, as acceptable and dismissible. And as COVID-19 disproportionately hit Black, Latino, Indigenous, and Pacific Islander communities, “people who believed in the idea of white supremacy felt like the virus was doing their work for them, and could promote the idea that they’re genetically stronger,” Block adds. One of Trump’s supporters recently predicted that the president would beat COVID-19 because of his “god-tier genetics”; Trump himself recently told a largely white audience that they have “good genes” before warning about incoming Somalian refugees.

Third, “metaphors redirect our attention,” says Wool, the medical anthropologist, and create “dead zones” in our thinking. “The idea of fighting a disease creates this dyad between you and the illness” and distracts us from everything that affects that fight. Trump was born into wealth. He is white. He is the president of the United States. He had regular access to COVID-19 tests. He was given supplemental oxygen at the White House—his home—before being airlifted to Walter Reed, where he received dedicated medical care on taxpayer funds that he himself contributed nothing to in 10 of the past 15 years. When he apparently felt lonely, he left the hospital in a motorcade so he could wave to his supporters, exposing the Secret Service agents riding alongside him. He received three treatments—remdesivir, dexamethasone, and an experimental antibody cocktail from the biotechnology company Regeneron, whose CEO is an acquaintance of Trump’s and a member of one of his golf courses. “He received a level of care that no patient has received in this country, and a combination of medications that has probably never been given to another patient,” Blackstock, the emergency physician, says. “He’ll probably end up doing well because of his access to resources.”

By contrast, many Americans have struggled to get tested for COVID-19 throughout the year—a problem that still dominates the lives of long-haulers who lack the diagnostic certainty needed for benefit claims or participation in research. Nearly 30 million Americans lacked health insurance last year, and that number has undoubtedly risen further amid record unemployment. Because of the combined burden of historical and everyday racism, many people of color must cope with chronic stress—the same stress that Cohen, the Carnegie Mellon researcher, showed makes them vulnerable to respiratory viruses in general. Many worked “essential jobs,” risking infections in unprotected workplaces and crowded public transport to make hourly wages that they couldn’t afford to lose. Acknowledging none of this, a defiant Trump told the country, “Don’t be afraid of it. You’re going to beat it. We have the best medical equipment. We have the best medicines.”

Trump is hardly the first American to mischaracterize his own privilege as fortitude, but from his lips, that error is uniquely and doubly pernicious. It distracts not only from the massive advantages that he enjoys, but also from his singular role in America’s pandemic year. The horrors that others have endured are in large part the result of his ineptitude, and the same empty strength that he now claims has defeated the disease. Trump is both beneficiary and engine of the unequal, broken systems that have led to the deaths of more than 210,000 Americans, but have thus far averted his own. In the time since his diagnosis, more than 300,000 other people in the U.S. have tested positive. More than 4,000 have died. Their fates were not a matter of weakness, but their numbers should make the self-described most powerful nation in the world consider how strong it truly is.”

[purplesurveys]

725

Your name? Robyn. Age? Just turned 22. Ugh, I’ve finally reached the point where future ages – other than 30/40/50 etc – won’t be much of a milestone anymore. I can hear Monica Geller tell me, “welcome to the real world, it sucks.” Gender? Identify as female. Ethnic background? I usually just say Filipino to make it easier but technically I’m mostly Tagalog with a bit of Mangyan and Ilokano and I think Bulakeño? in me. What do you like the most about your ethnic background? It’s hard to find anything to be proud of from being Filipino sksksk I like our cuisine I guess? Especially the seafood?

The least? It’s not something I dislike directly about our own background, because what I like the least is the hundreds of years of colonization by four different nations that led to the near-complete wipeout of our native culture and the severe colonial effects that followed. The reason I find it so hard to rack my brain for stuff about our ‘ethnic background’ is because everything about it has already been penetrated by Spanish, English, Japanese, or American influence, even down to how well I can speak English right now. It’s almost impossible to look for something that’s ours. Who is your favorite golf player? I’ve never liked watching golf. Whats your favorite kind of gold? (White, Yellow, Rose, Traditional) Rose gold looks pretty. Would you rather wear turquoise pants or purple? Highkey would not wear either of these but if it came down to it, purple. Would you ever go on a jungle safari? I kind of already did. It was a lot of fun and I would rather keep going to safaris if I wanted to see wild animals as it’s a much lesser evil than zoos. If you saw a UFO what would you do? Hope my fingers are quick enough and immediately take a video. What color is your mailbox? We don’t have one. Mailmen just place it by the handle of our screen door. Are you taller than your Mom? No, I’m the smallest one in the family. Who is your meanest friend? I never really counted Patrice as a friend but she’s been the least nice acquaintance I remember having. Her attitude is actually the reason I hadn’t seen her as a friend, so that said I wouldn’t really be befriending anyone who I thought isn’t very nice. Have you ever thought about suicide? Yeah, well I’m not exactly the most mentally well person durrrr. I don’t think of it as often as I used to, but it’ll cross my mind more or less once a month. Have you ever broken a pinata? I’ve never had that experience before actually. I’ve only seen it in cartoons. Who loves Orange Soda? I don’t like soda, period. Where did you go the last time you used public transportation? I dunno if it counts because the jeep just goes around the campus hahaha but I took a jeep coming from CAL going to CMC, my home college. My dad accidentally drove the car I was gonna use that day so I had to book a Grab (our local Uber; also I can’t do public transpo for long distances hence the private car, heh) going to school, and then the campus jeeps to go from one class to another. If you were to start a band what would you name it? Never hire me to name stuff. Would you rather spend a year in the abyss or outer space? Outer space. It’s where I’ve always wanted to go anyway. I fear for my sanity if I wind up in the abyss. Do you know someone who has shot off a part of their own body? No but I know someone who had been shot (or stabbed? I can’t remember but he was attacked); it was my Kuya’s close friend. What TV shows stick out from your childhood? Mr. Bean, Pokemon, SpongeBob, Jimmy Neutron, Drake and Josh, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That’s so Raven, to name a few. What is/was for dinner tonight? No idea yet. My dad usually whips something up at the last minute but it always turns out so so good. What’s really the best cure for a hangover? FRIED CHICKEN and I will die on this hill. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Oooh I don’t think that’s been served to me before actually. I’m not opposed to trying them though cause broccoli’s my favorite vegetable. How many cavities do you have? I had a couple before but they’ve since been fixed at the dentist. Have you ever given money to a bum? Yes I always give them money ranging from ₱10 to ₱20, and biscuits if I have some in my bag, if they knock on my window. If you found 100 dollars on the floor of a church what would ya do with it? If I found it in a church I’d absolutely run the fuck away with the money lmao. Is your head a fun place to be in? I’m a bit of a workaholic and am always thinking about the next thing to accomplish, so tbh I imagine it looking like Spongebob’s brain HAHAHAHA as in exactly this shot

What is your favorite word? Poignant to me sounds and looks the way it means, which is so satisfying. Why is going to poop such a social taboo? We covered a bit of this in my anthropology class last semester and our prof shared a theory that says our body is in and of itself clean but once substances exit the body they’re seen as impure and already dirty - which is why we’ll have no problem talking about the circulatory system but many tend to faint if they cut their finger too much and see blood leaking out of them. Same explanation goes with poop, saliva, sweat, etc. I’m too lazy to check my notes if every bit of this is accurate, but the impure/dirty is the one I remember to be correct. Who is your worst enemy? Don’t really like the idea of enemies per se but after Marielle betrayed my trust twice I vowed to never speak with her again, and I never have. When was the last time you passed gas? I don’t like farting. If I feel one coming I suppress it on purpose. Do you eat raw hot dogs? No, that sounds so nasty. Do you ever speak out loud what you should be typing? Eh, sometimes and only if I’m by myself. It’s not a habit though. Do you own a squirt gun? We call them a water gun here but it used to be one of my favorite toys from childhood. I don’t own one anymore as I largely don’t need them. Do you like the Subway $5 footlong? I don’t really eat Subway. What is the last thing you ate with Marshmallow in it? Hate marshmallows. I always remove it if it had been added to the food I’m eating. Would you rather live in a shack on the beach or a mansion in Ohio? I love you beach, but I’m taking the damn mansion lol. Do you believe that zombies could really invade the Earth? I don’t think zombies could ever surface naturally but at some point in the distant future, when technology and human knowledge advance enough and if someone was ambitious enough to use such knowledge for the worse, I feel like some chemical or substance causing someone to become a zombie could be made. Idk, people have come up with crazy shit from science that were initially thought to be impossible so for me I’m not ruling out zombies or at least a milder version of them haha. If you were to buy a boat what would you name it? Margo, as an homage to Margo Martindale’s role from BoJack Horseman. Who is your internet provider? PLDT. What has the tv show two and a half men taught you? Nothing, because I’ve never watched an episode. What’s something you’re not supposed to be doing right now? Not thinking about my unfinished thesis. I should definitely be thinking about it right now lol. What’s hotter topless or pantless? A bit TMI considering the time ksksks but topless for me. What would you do if you found a four leaf clover? I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean (but I wanna say it means good luck?) so maybe I’ll just take a photo of it heh. Miami Dolphins or NY Jets? I don’t even know what sport these teams belong to. What is your favorite kind of instant popcorn? I don’t like popcorn, so it’s a pass for me. Do you pay attention to the expiration dates on food? Yeah I check on them quite often since I once had a terrible experience drinking spoiled milk; but I’ve also been told by my dad that the expiration dates don’t necessarily mean spoilage and molds and all that nasty crap, and that the date just means by when the product’s quality will slowly start to decrease, like if chips start to get tougher to chew or if a chocolate bar becomes less sweet. It’s a source of relief, but I’m still paranoid about expiration dates overall. What ringtone is on your phone? Just the ones Apple provides. What odd thing do you wish you were doing right now? Driving in circles around the village just to enjoy the outside world :( Are you a smoker? Socially. How do you feel about not being able to smoke in a lot of bars? I don’t mind it. I’m not desperate to smoke ever.

[allyearroundturf]

Is the buffalo turf the best turf among all for its low maintenance?

Selecting suitable Turf grass for finished regions around your home can be difficult. Sunlight is the principal factor that should be considered when picking the turf or field type for your garden regions. In the Australian environment, the Warm Seasoned turf grasses accessible to homeowners are Durban Grass, Buffalo, Zoysia, settee, and Kikuyu. What is a Kikuyu turf? Kikuyu turf in Sydney is an enduring favorite for lawns all through Australia. Kikuyu turf is renowned for its quick green development, drought solidness, protection from wear, and ability to endure gardeners' neglect. We've seen garden circumstances where the overwhelming turf is Kikuyu. As needs are, the underperforming to meet expectations Kikuyu field has become a hideosity for the house owners. Kikuyu turf, similar to all warm-season turf grass, should be cut continually in the developing season. In the mid-year, you ought to cut your Kikuyu turf consistently, and the trimmer should be around 25 to 35 millimeters high to cut the grass. Your Kikuyu field should be treated basically at the least of spring. Kikuyu and couch are, for the most part, utilized in sports and playing ground field conditions and are notable for their speedy recovery after heavy use through the Australian wintertime. What is a buffalo turf? Buffalo turf in Sydney is an enchanting fragile grass that fills in reduced dampness regions. The variety changes from green to cyan, yet it might transform into yellow during the chilly winter season with the snow. In any case, when the snow has cleared, the solid, long-lasting Buffalo Turf is expected to return to its extravagant green color tone. This ability of the Buffalo Grass is the motivation behind why it's as yet conceivable to have a magnificent turf, to be sure, during the Northern States' terrible winter seasons. What are the growing conditions for buffalo turf in Australia? Kinds of ideal locations for developing Buffalo turf land are graveyards, side of the road, colleges, and golf courses. Subject to the season and the pace of how presto you need to cover the field, Buffalo Grass can be created from seeds or turfs. Try not to build the speed of development after the essential planting with the goal that you don't have to water and prepare the grass. Avoiding the water system would reduce the number of undesirable weeds and improve the cutting time period. Buffalo Grass land grows in warm, sunny weather, making it a turf that is conversely exquisite and bother-free for tremendous house owners and organizations. It's not difficult to develop and deal with. Individuals who live in hot, sunny regions with the least rain might view this as, for the most part, the ideal grass to get a good turf. Turf is the intelligent field solution for homeowners and commercial and sporting purposes in Australia. In addition to the fact that it is extraordinary, it has a noteworthy stylish incentive for both commercial and house conditions.

[padfootagain]

Watching TV with Ben would include...

It's the first time I do this kind of thing, I hope it's not too bad...

It's a bit long, I know, but don't forget who's the fool who's writing ;) And I actually had so much fun writing this, I got a bit carried away :)

Pairing: Ben Barnes Reader

* The News :

- You two sitting next to each other on the couch, most of the time doing something else, like reading or working

- You stealing his sweater to feel more comfortable

- Nudging him to pay attention for important news

- Holding hands when terrible news are announced, showing how fucked up the world you're living in truly is

- Cuddling in his arms if the news are too horrible

- Him kissing your forehead and whispering that everything will be all right

"As long as we are together, we'll be just fine, Y/N. I promise we'll be just fine. No matter what happens out there, I'll always be here for you."

 * Horror movies :

- You ending up in his arms after the first scary scene

- Burying your face in his chest so you won't see what happens, although you ask him with a terrified voice to describe everything

"Are they dead already? Ben? Ben? What happened? Tell me they aren't dead. Oh my God..."

- At first he's making the tough guy, but he's quickly jumping at every scary scene just like you

- Both of you screaming at least once during the movie

- Holding each other tightly, switching position every five seconds because of the tension the movie brought into the room

- You lose a bit more of pop-corn every time you and Ben are scared as it flies across the room when you're startled, and you spend thirty minutes at the end of the movie to clean up the whole living room

-You're so scared after the movie that you make sure to stay in the same room as Ben until you're both lying in your bed and he's holding you tightly in his arms

"It's late love, you can go to bed, I'll clean up everything."

"No, no, it's okay."

"These dark circles under your eyes don't say the same."

"Ben... where are you going?"

"In the kitchen."

"Wait... Ben, wait..."

 * Romantic movies :

- Resting your head on his shoulder at first, but he quickly wraps his arms around you and you're soon cuddling

- Eating lots of chocolate

- You slowly slipping down his chest and ending up lying on the couch, resting your head on his laps

- Feeling his tender stare upon you and this cute little smirk of his every time there's a cute/romantic scene between the two protagonists

- Him playing with your hair

- By the end of the movie, you're both lying on the couch, his arms wrapped tightly around you, your fingers intertwined, and it takes you half an hour to get up until you give him the right argument

"Ben, we should go to sleep."

"Why? It's very comfortable here."

"Stop kissing my neck and let's go to bed."

"Not a chance."

"I've never said I was sleepy, Ben."

"What are you still doing here then? Let's go to bed!"

 * Action movies

- You two eating lots of pop-corn

- Him lying down on the couch and resting his head on your laps, his neck contortioned for him to watch the TV and still be able to see you

"Tomorrow, it'll be impossible for you to move your head, Ben."

"Nah, I'll be just fine. Hand me the pop-corn, would you?"

- Running your hand through his hair

- Him laughing at you when you wince at the most violent fights

"That must be so painful..."

"You know it's not real, right love?"

"Oh shut up, you bloody actor..."

- This kind of films have a tendency to make him restless, so you watch crappy TV after the movie, until he's tired enough to go to bed

 * Comedies :

- Ben laughs so easily, he's already dying after ten minutes

- Both of you laughing like mad, holding your sides

- You making fun of him because he's choking so much and he has turned crimson with all the laughing

"You laugh too easily!"

"It's funny!"

"You should see your face, Ben. You're the funny thing here."

- Him getting his revenge by throwing a cushion at your face

- You don't listen to the end of the movie, too busy fighting against his tickle attack

 * Detective movies :

- Both of you intensely focusing the whole time

- Debates all along trying to guess who could be the killer

- Ben narrowing his eyes every time he thinks he has found a clue to guess the identity of the murderer

- Grabbing Ben's hand whenever there's some tension

- Both of you gasping when the identity of the criminal is revealed and none of you had even thought about suspecting him

"The son of a bitch..."

"Wow... I hadn't guessed that at all..."

"Me neither!"

"I thought it was the mother."

"Me too!"

"Fuck..."

- You're always a bit tensed after thrillers, so Ben leaves the light on for a bit longer when you two go to bed, holding you tightly in his arms until you've fallen asleep

 * Sport :

- Both of you drinking beer and eating peanuts

- You forcing him to wear the scarf of your favourite team even if he hates them

"I'm not supporting your team, Y/N."

"Oh... please..."

"No way."

"Please..."

"Stop making puppy eyes."

"Please..."

"Give me the fucking scarf..."

- Rugby, basket, football, soccer... : both of you tensed as hell the whole match and jumping on your feet every time you think your team is going to score

Boxing, Judo, karate... : Both of you wincing every time someone is hurt

Gym, diving, figure skating... : Round eyes at every crazy jumps or acrobatic figures

Tennis, golf, long competitions... : You being very focused for a while, but your attention slowly fades, and you end up sleeping in his arms

- You laughing at him when his team loses, but Ben always wins

"So, how does losing feel, Ben?"

"No need to brag..."

"Yes... but you lost!"

"Hell..."

"Ben? What are you doing? Put me down! Ben. Put. Me. Down."

"Nope."

"No, don't go into the bedroom..."

"What do you want to bet that I can convince you?"

"Oh... I know you will convince me, that's not the point..."

"Y/N, shut up and let me kiss you now..."

 * Series

- Pizzas and beer, pop-corn if it's not time for dinner

- Ben biting his nails most of the show in expectation

- You cuddling against him when there's a scary scene

- Both of you throwing pop-corn at the TV in frustration if a character you wanted to die survives

- Both of you in shock if one of your favourite characters dies and you both overreact every time, before coming back to your senses

"It's over. I'm never going to watch this show again."

"Me neither, Y/N. Are they serious? He can't die!"

"He's the best character of the series!"

"Yes!"

"Or perhaps he's not dead..."

"When you're stabbed in the heart, you generally die though."

"But they can't do that! Okay, that's it, I'm done. I'm fucking done. Let's go to bed."

"Or... we could watch another episode."

"... Yeah, let's do that."

- Ending up watching this show all night long, lying upon Ben, resting your head on his chest, both of you covered with your warmest blanket

 * Bonus : watching one of Ben's movies/series

- Ben doesn't like watching his own movies so you have to fight hard to convince him, although you know how to find the right arguments

"Ben, please... watch it with me..."

"Y/N, please. I really don't want to."

"But Ben... Please, for me."

"I could use this one too, you know?"

"Come on, I'll do whatever you want for the rest of the evening."

"You can't use sex every time you want to convince me to do something."

"It doesn't have to be sex, I could make you massage, or prepare you a bath, or bake you a cake..."

"I think I still prefer sex though."

- Him blushing every time he's on screen

- Him laughing at you when you're shocked, looking back and forth at him and the TV

"I guess you're a really good actor... I mean... you're such a sweetheart... and this guy is such a dick. I like him though..."

"Because he has my face of course, not because you think he's rather cool."

"Of course..."

- Playing with his fingers and resting your head in the crook of his neck

- Him dropping lots of kisses on your head because he knows the story and obviously doesn't need to stay focused

- You struggling to stay focused until the end of the movie because of Ben's sweet touch and gentle kisses. You give in the second the movie stops, and Ben only raises an eyebrow when you sit up, straddling him and tugging on his oversized T-shirt

"Y/N?"

"All right, you win, Ben."

"Y/N...?"

"Just kiss me already, you idiot..."

[panda-noosh]

Hello, first I wanna say that I love your blog. Secondly can I request something for the paladins and how they would be like as parents. Thank you so much 😊

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my blog! I loved writing this, omg. I hope you enjoy it! x

Shiro:

  -Theydon't call him Space Dad for nothing.

  -Because let me tell you, this guy would be Dad Af.

 -Kind of strict, but not overlystrict.Like, you can go out but your ass has a god damn curfew and if youdon't meet that curfew, whoever your with is going to die.

 -DisappointedDad Head Shake.

 -Watchesgolf with the remote pressed against his forehead.

  -“You know, golf brings in a lot of money. You could become agolfer.”

 -“Dad, I'm in high school.”

  -Every day, he likes to remind his children just how fastthey're growing up.

  -Hatesit when his kids disrespect their mother. Hatesit. Ifhe didn't love his kids so much, he would probably lose it.

  -But he does love his kids, so he just tells them off with a simple“Oi! Watch your mouth!”

 -Dad days out are amazing??

 -For him. They're amazing for him. Not for his kids.

 -Probably consist of fishing.

  -“Back in my day, we had to catch our own food.”

  -“Dad, you're 34.”

   Keith:

  -Thedad who always needs help with the kids.

 -Never let this man be alone with his children, because you will comeback and your house will be no longer.

  -Is a jittery dad, too. He had bad nerves when he found out his wifewas pregnant, but actually takingcare of them? Pleaseno.

  -He loves his kids to death. God, does he love his kids, but like ???How does a kid work???

  -Hisnerves never really die down until his children know how to handlethemselves. He just overthinks every little thing.

  -And then his kids get into high school and LORD HAVE MERCY ON HISPRECIOUS SOUL.

 -Lord also have mercy on whoever his daughter brings home, because letme tell you, they will not make it through the front door.

  -“Dad, I'm 16! I can like who I want!”

  -“Who isDad? Ionly know OneMan My Daughter Needs In Her Life Until She Moves Out.”

  -Isthe type of Dad to constantly tease his children about moving out.Like, his six year old child knows how bills work because he's justso ready to make them jokes when they're old enough to understand.

  -Fake Sports Dad.

 -“Yes! Hit the ball!”

  -“Dad, this is basketball.”

- “... Throw the ball?”

  - The type of Dad to leave cookies and a note under his childs doorwhen they're upset. The note basically tells them of how much heloves them and how there will always be issues in life, but he's theone they need to come to if things get too difficult. Because softKeith is great.

   Lance:

 -MemeDad.

 -Meme Dad.

 -Meme Dad.

  -The type of Dad who texts his teenage children about the latest 'hip'things because he can't come to terms with the fact that hisfavourite meme died before his first child was born.

  -“You remember Pepe the Frog, right honey? Haha. What a guy.”

 -“DAD.”

 -Would probably show up to all parent teacher meetings in a suitbecause why not.

 -Constant competition with the other children. Not even his childrenagainst other children. Himagainstthe other kids. He would see a kid playing basketball really well andhe'd show up the next day in a full on kit just ready to show up somehigh school kids on how basketball is played.

  -His kids would have to drag him away when it turns out he's terribleand his score is getting low.

 -Uncle and Aunt feuds.

 -“Now, if Aunt Pidge says anything about the words 'Lancey Lance,'you kick her out, okay?”

 -“You need a haircut. You don't want to end up looking like UncleKeith.”

 -“Uncle Hunk made that. Throw it out.”

 -“Uncle Shiro is coming over. Make sure the paint ball gun is loadedand you're hiding behind the sofa as soon as you see his car pullingup, okay?”

  -SO MANY STORIES ABOUT HIS TIME AS A PALADIN IM EMOTION I NEED TOWRITE A FULL THING ABOUT THIS.

   Hunk:

  -WaitI'm gonna cry thinking of Hunk being a dad.

  -He'd be such a good dad. Such a good dad.

 - I feel like he'd be too scared to mess up in the first place, thathe just neverreally would.

  -Thebest when his children come to him with their problems, and they do.They love their dad so much, that coming to him about their issues isjust like coming to their best friend, if not, better.

  -Gets emotional all the time.

  -Probably has a scrap book of pictures of his kids with the yellowlion, but he doesn't tell them he was a Paladin until their oldenough, and when he does, he cries really hard thinking about thememories.

  -His kids are so god damn proud of him when they hear of the things heused to do when he piloted the yellow lion.

  -“Oh, your Dad's a fisherman? My dad's a living legend.”

  -Would try and stay humble when it came to talking about his past, buthis kids wouldn't let him be humble because DAD YOU'RE A PALADIN OFVOLTRON.

  -Sports Dad???

 -He doesn't play sports, he just loves to go to his kids games whenthey do.

 -He's always the loudest one in the crowd, and he's always the firstone to greet them if they lose so he can comfort them.

  Pidge:

  -Casualmama.

  -Rolling eyes central.

  -Is the type of mum who just kind of . . . Doesn't care???

  -“Excuse me, miss? You're son is eating dirt.”

  -“For the love of – TIMOTHY YOU DID IT AGAIN! WE'RE GOING HOME!”

  -But at the same time, her and her kids have so much banter the worldcannot handle it.

 -Laying awake at night with her kids, under the covers, working on abrand new project.

  -Teaching her kids how things work and how to make differentmechanisms for different machines.

 -Giggling along with her kids whenever one of them messes up somethingon the machine.

 -“Don't worry. It's easy to fix.”

  -It's never easy to fix, but she wouldn't dare tell little Timothythat.

  -Has daily visits to the other Paladins houses because she lovesseeing how the Uncles are around her children.

  -She tells her kids about her Paladin days, but none of them reallybelieve her and she doesn't try to persuade them. She more or lesstells them like some kind of fairytale until her kids are of age, andthey literally go with her every weekend to visit the green lion withwhom Pidge is still very close to.

  -“So. . . You were serious about being a Paladin?”

  -“I wouldn't lie about such a thing. Now, eat your BBQ MonsterMunch.”

[evenstevensranked]

#29: Season 2, Episode 18 - “The Thomas Gribalski Affair”

Tom starts bonding with Steve and Louis quickly starts to become extremely jealous of their relationship. Meanwhile, Ren volunteers to lead the school bike safety demonstration even though she doesn't know how to ride a bike.

This one starts with Louis and Twitty at the Stevens house playing “Stinky Sock Ball” — some ridiculous game they created with a bunch of nonsense rules. I don’t even know. Tom is over and sitting the game out. “Pass. The last time I played Stinky Sock Ball I got a concussion. It’s been six months and I’m still a little woozy.” Gotta love Tom. This episode has his name in the title (a play on the film The Thomas Crown Affair I’m assuming), so ya know it’s gonna be good. Just then, Steve comes waltzing in super excited about this leprechaun whittling kit that came in the mail. He had plans to carve out the block with Louis, but of course.. Louis would rather play Stinky Sock Ball. Priorities. Tom seems interested in the weird hobby, so Louis suggests that the two of them hang out instead. Little did he know that one small decision would send him spiraling into jealous insanity. I’d also like to mention that the leprechaun’s name is “McStinker, The Town Drinker.” Okay, Disney Channel.

Next, we cut to Wexler’s office for the subplot. Ren and Larry are competing against each other once again. Wexler is looking for a student to lead the next safety demonstration and they’re both desperate to be selected. There are a bunch of other students there who are also willing to volunteer until Wexler says they’d have to give up a Saturday. Literally everyone leaves except for Ren and Larry. As an adult, this just makes me laugh tbh. One little Saturday in your Junior High career means nothing in the grand scheme of life. But, god forbid! We all need that precious Saturday to do.... nothing... instead. 

Wexler picks Ren by default and doesn’t even consider Larry, which is totally not playing favorites at all. We learn that the demonstration is going to be for bike safety, thanks to Louis and Twitty running Wexler over because they were too preoccupied with eating chips and salsa. 

Are these screenshots fantastic or are they fantastic? I’ll wait. 

Ren is definitely apprehensive about leading the demonstration now and we don’t know why. She clearly doesn’t want to do it anymore, but the thought of Larry getting the gig instead motivates her. 

At lunch that day, Louis and Twitty are playing yet another ridiculous and frankly freakin’ [Raven voice] NASTY game called “Extreme Meat Hoops” where they catch extra gooey meatballs that drip from the ceiling. Who thinks of this stuff?! HONESTLY. Tawny is disgusted as usual. 

This literally looks......... awful. 

Tom joins them at their table, ranting and raving about the funniest joke his friend Steve told him. When Louis questions who the heck Steve is, Tom says “Steve Stevens is the real deal” which is such a great line I can’t even explain it. Louis being Louis takes a minute to register that Steve Stevens is his dad’s name lol. He finds out that Tom and his dad have been hanging out a lot. In fact, they’ve been hanging out so much that Steve gave Tom his direct phone line to reach him at work. Louis didn’t even know Steve had a direct line, haha. It’s actually kinda sad. We start to see Louis’ jealousy emerge here. 

At home, Eileen absolutely hates the newly-carved leprechaun. Steve wants her to find a prominent place for the thing, but it looks like a total eyesore everywhere she puts it. This reminds me of Lizzie McGuire and her dad’s obsession with lawn gnomes. This montage actually makes me laugh. It’s set to upbeat Irish-y stock music which contrasts Eileen’s distaste perfectly lol. Ren walks in and goes to Eileen for help with the bike demonstration. We learn that she was too embarrassed to tell Wexler she doesn’t know how to ride a bike. Whooop, there it is. Eileen promises to help teach her. 

Ren in a crop top?! Why does this seem so... out of character? I noticed this before in Swap.com. Idk. To be fair, it was 2001. Showing your bellybutton was ~all the rage.~ God help me. Also, Ren’s shirt is purple-y once again and she’ll pretty much wear anything if it’s purple so. 

Louis and Twitty are hanging out by some lake and Louis starts reminiscing about how he and Steve used to ride the paddle boats together when he was little. He says they used to sing this cheesy father-son song and “I can almost hear it now......... I CAN hear it now!” Lo and behold, Tom and Steve are riding in a paddle boat singing said cheesy father-son song. Louis’ jealousy has hit a new level. 

This would be a little much. If I saw my mom doing such personal things with one of my friends I would literally be so concerned??? Like, what the heck Mom?! It’s just weird. 

Immediately following this, Louis invites Tawny over for one of their little therapy sessions, lol. I love how this is something we’ve seen a few times throughout the series -- Whether it’s a serious talk like this or just Louis going to Tawny for advice. Like I’ve said before, he values her opinion A LOT which is lovely. This scene always stood out to me because they completely cleared out Louis’ room to look like a clean, cold therapist’s office or something. This is one of the only times it doesn’t look like a tornado ripped through it: 

His bed looks sooo much smaller when it’s made? I could’ve sworn he had a full bed this whole time lol. 

He tells her that everything went downhill when he was 5 and pushed Steve out of a paddle boat:

They gave Steve a curly brown mullet in this flashback. It’s wonderful. 

Tawny says the symbolism is obvious: Louis has been pushing his father away forever. She suggests taking an interest in something Steve likes to do. 

Next we cut to a montage of Ren’s bike riding lesson with Eileen. She’s literally terrible at it. They make a point to keep these random fencers in the shot. Like, really.. who goes to the park to fence? I’ve personally never seen that before but ok. I also just need to include this accidental screen cap of Ren about to fall because it’s great. 

Ren and Eileen leave the park after a day of failing miserably, and one of the fencers enters the frame and takes off their mask............. plot twist look who it is:

It’s Larry Beale smiling maniacally because he thinks he has tea to spill about Ren being bikely challenged. 

Now we move on to what is probably the best sequence in the episode. Steve is out golfing and Louis surprises him by showing up at the course! He’s so excited to spend one-on-one time bonding with Steve the way Tom has been lately, until Steve asks “Would you like to join us? Me and Tom!” And Tom shows up in his ~golfing threads~ which look ridiculous. (Cover image) There are so many fantastic lines from this point on. Kicking off with Tom saying “Say, Mr. Lou! I didn’t know you were a duffer.” And Louis gets SO OFFENDED. I’m assuming he thought Tom was swearing at him or something lol I can’t. Well, technically.. he might’ve been. Steve claims that duffer is just another word for a golfer. Out of curiosity I decided to google it to see for myself and well:

It’s not another word for any’ol golfer -- but rather a golfer that doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing. It means stupid too, so. There are also articles debating whether or not the term is offensive in the golf world. 

Of course, Louis sucks at golf and hates the sport, but he’s trying so hard to win Steve over! The nail in the coffin is Steve casually calling Tom “son.” Yikes. Louis is at a loss for words at this point. 

The next bit is one of my favorite moments in THE ENTIRE SERIES. I have to embed the scene. 

From the opening lines between Louis and Steve, to “bend your knees” to Louis’ face at the very end. This is all gold. 

Before the demonstration, Larry tries to intimidate Ren by dropping hints that he knows her secret. But, Ren takes the high road and says she has nothing to be ashamed of. I love when characters do this! Never let anyone make you feel inferior. So Ren comes rolling up with training wheels and says “The first rule of bike safety is if you don’t know how to ride a bike, use training wheels.” YAAAASSSS, GIRL. Larry gets on the mic and tries to turn it into a giant embarrassing scene, but it just doesn’t work when the person you’re trying to embarrass isn’t embarrassed at all lol. Ren is totally owning the situation and it’s great. Larry just looks like a fool up there beating the dead horse “THE GIRL NEEDS TRAINING WHEELS!!!!!!!!!” 

She rides the bike through the obstacles, training wheels and all, and everyone roots for her! Yay.

Things get emotional back at the golf course. Louis finally hits the ball and it’s pretty incredible. He’s so excited and runs over to Steve and Tom like “Dad!! Did you see that?! I hit it in from way over there!!” and of course, Steve is all “Sorry, Son. I missed it.” You can just feeeeel Louis’ spirit deflating. This is the last straw for him. He starts ranting “You know what, Tom? I give up. You win.” It’s so sad oh my god. You can hear the heartbreak in his voice. Shia is so great, god. He basically starts handing his entire life over to Tom. Dang. Side note: Shia takes off his visor which made his hair stick up. He looks so different. I remember thinking he looked so cute like that hahaha. 

Steve catches on and Tom decides to give them some space. “You two should talk. I know how my mother must feel. I canceled 3 games of Pinochle with her this week... I’ve got some fences to mend.” Tom is seriously the best. Obviously, Louis and Steve make up. It ends with the two of them playing Stinky Sock Ball together. It’s sweet. 

I really like this episode. A lot. Y’all know I love Tom, so I had to rank this one a little higher just because he deserves some more love. But aside from that, this is a really good plot. It’s great to see how much Louis actually cares about his relationship with his father and how they eventually end up bonding a little bit more. I also like Ren’s plot here as well! It’s a nice stick to your guns sort of message that you can apply to anything really. There are honestly no specific reasons why I like this one so much... I just do lol. It’s a solid episode overall. 

Well, guys. We made it. Officially at #29. Holy crapoli. Soon we’ll be at 25, and then 20, and then 15, and then 10............ you know how a countdown works. I just can’t believe how little we have left to go. I got all emotional about it here because I’ve also been running this blog for a year now. What the heck. 

Thanks for reading!

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[junker-town]

The most ridiculous, bizarre and sublime sports video games of all-time

Sports are dumb. Video games are also dumb. But dumb sports video games are the best.

You know what’s good? Sports! You know what also can be (generally) good? Video games! It’s also pretty fun when those two things meet, and even more fun when they meet in the weirdest ways possible.

That happened quite a bit more in the 90s and early aughts than it does now (probably because it costs a whole lot more money to make video games these days, but that’s another story) and while they weren’t always good games, they were usually worth it on their novelty factor alone. And I am fascinated by these games.

I have spent hours playing Ninja Golf on the Atari 7800. I don’t really know why, I’m just so intrigued by the process that spawned such things. I’ve played far too much MLB Nicktoons, because seeing Spongebob Squarepants share a field with Carlos Beltran is still hilarious to me. To use a more well-known example: Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl is something I’ve been playing a lot of. It’s a game that doesn’t relate to Glanville in any way, but somehow has his name on it. Discovering why that is and also, you know, playing the games, has been my mission for a long time.

Hopefully that means my bosses will continue to let me write about the cross-section of sports and video games, with some deeper dives and the like. But until then, as sort of a primer, an appetizer if you will, how about we establish a base? Let’s take a brief look at the WEIRDEST sports games for each major sport!

This is part one, where we’re covering American football, basketball, hockey, baseball, soccer and golf — I will cover tennis, auto racing, combat sports and some others in a follow-up article.

American Football: Brutal Sports Football (Atari Jaguar)

Honorable Mention: Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl (Super Nintendo)

We’re starting out hot and heavy with, you guessed it, an Atari Jaguar game. Also released for a number of other consoles, Brutal Sports Football is exactly what it purports to be: football, but more brutal than football already is. I’m somewhat obsessed with this game.

Now, don’t confuse obsession with skill, because I am TERRIBLE at it. Part of that is me not having much experience with the Atari Jaguar, and part of that is the game being crushingly difficult. But it sure is fun, and as you can expect, it’s quite violent.

Featuring teams like the Thugs, Slayers and Goats (actual goatmen, of course), Brutal Sports Football is pretty standard football, if pretty standard football included axes, beheading, repeatedly stomping your opponent into the ground, powerups in the form of rabbits (?) and a surprising amount of backstory to its teams.

No, really. Every team has a brief explanation of their history/what kind of team they are. And they’re ridiculous.

Some of those are just ... whew.

Just how brutal is Brutal Sports Football, you ask? Well, you can use the severed heads of your enemies as a weapon to cave in the head of another. So, it’s at least on par with actual football.

There’s something about the gameplay that intrigues me, even though I can’t get a damn thing done in it. It’s surprisingly smooth-feeling for an early sports game, and the rules are interesting. Aside from the murdery bits, the goal is to get the ball into the end zone, which is an enclosed area a bit closer to a soccer goal. You can throw it or run it in, and when you run one it, it feels a good bit like dunking.

I suck at it (a theme you’ll find on this list), and I don’t think it’s an amazing video game. But it sure is weird.

Basketball: Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball (Super Nintendo)

Honorable Mention: Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City (Super Nintendo)

I’m going to start this one with a declaration: Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball is a bad video game. There, I said it. It’s out in the open. Some people — whom I no longer respect as human beings — claim that it’s a good game and enjoy it immensely. They are horrible people and if you like it, so are you.

Hyperbole aside, WHERE IS BILL LAIMBEER? Much like Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl, Laimbeer has absolutely nothing to do with this video game, and like the game above, it was released under a different title in other regions, Future Basketball. But there is also very little about it that is futuristic, save for the drab, gray arenas, the robots and what the game says are jetpack-assisted jumps, but are actually still pretty lame, standard basketball jumps.

There’s bombs, but nothing about getting them feels good. What baskets do or do not go in seem to have no correlation with where you are and what the opposing players are doing to you, and the “combat” animations are so slight that it’s hard to tell if you’ve hit someone, unless they explode.

The game has bad sound effects, bad music, slow action, a bad camera, and very little excitement. I’m told that some people enjoy it, but as a kid, I’m not sure I’ve ever returned a game faster. That doesn’t make it any less weird though, and the fact that this game exists at all is pretty fascinating. Why does it have Bill Laimbeer’s name on it? Why is he on the cover? Where are the fans?

I’m so confused. I wanted to give this to Michael Jordan’s Chaos in the Windy City, or the fan game, Barkley: Shut up and Jam: Gaiden, but Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball is a little higher profile and I wanted to set the record straight while also pointing out that it’s weird. And dumb.

Baseball: Ninja Baseball Bat Man (Arcade)

Honorable Mention: Nicktoons MLB (Multi)

This is one of those that doesn’t REALLY resemble the actual sport it represents, because it’s not a baseball game so much as it is a 2D beat-em-up arcade game with a baseball theme. And when I say baseball theme, I mean every inch of this game is steeped in baseball stuff.

You fight baseballs. You fight giant catcher’s mitts with faces on them. You’re a robot baseball man who hits other robot baseball men with baseball bats. One of them just uses a giant baseball as a smashing weapon.

The story — yes the game has a story — is that you, the Ninja Baseball Bat Man — or N.B. Batman, as the commissioner of baseball refers to you, have to recover items that were stolen from the Baseball Hall of Fame. You can play as the well-balanced Captain Jose, the speedy Twinbats Ryno, the powerful Beanball Roger or the long-reaching Stick Straw, who stands 7’2’’, officially.

It’s a pretty great game, actually — a fun 2D brawler you can play cooperatively, I definitely played and beat this in multiple arcades with friends of mine.

The game was conceived by Drew Maniscalco, who came up with the idea after reading about the top grossing films of its time — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and one of the Batman films (speculated to be Batman Returns). So Maniscalco wanted to create his own superhero-influenced game. He also liked the word “ninja”, thinking it felt “mysterious,” which was more than enough of a concept to make a video game in the early 90s.

This is the game on this list I can 100% recommend. You should play it if you can.

Hockey: Mutant League Hockey

Honorable Mention: NHL Hitz 2003

So, I actually didn’t want to include Mutant League Hockey on this list just because the Mutant League franchise is so big. That said, there is a surprising lack of weird hockey games. I went with NHL Hitz 2003 as the honorable mention because I think it works surprisingly well for an NFL Blitz spinoff, but I was hoping for something really nuts for hockey.

That isn’t to say that Mutant League Hockey is sane. No, it’s quite weird. It’s your basic hockey, except with robots, undead skeletons and trolls, and lots of things that are quite lethal, like exploding pucks and spikes on the boards.

Getting checked into them is not fun.

There are also random holes in the ice, and you can hit people with your stick. You can get a powerup that turns your goalie into a giant demon face, and if the opponents score on your giant demon face, it explodes.

And it’s oozing with personality, including fake coaching quotes like the one above. Have you ever seen a sideline interview that was actually interesting? Probably not. But they’re plenty interesting in Mutant League Hockey. Also, one of the arenas is the Madness Square Garden (why not Scare Garden?).

Soccer: Inazuma Eleven GO 2: Chrono Stone

Honorable Mention: Battle Soccer: Field No Hasha

If you’re unfamiliar with Inazuma Eleven, it’s a game developed by Level-5, a company responsible for many high profile puzzle and JRPG video games, like the Professor Layton, Dark Cloud and Ni no Kuni series of games. There is also a manga and anime spin-off of the games. I think any games in the series would fit on this list, but I went with this one because it’s my favorite of the bunch.

This is a story-heavy and strategy-heavy video game. The main character (of the series, not this game specifically), Mamoru Endou, is a talented goalkeeper and the grandson of Daisuke Endou, a legendary soccer player. You’re trying to save your team from being dissolved and you do that by progressing a surprisingly deep story, interspersed with bits of tactical soccer gameplay and strong anime cutscenes.

The game centers around the Football Frontier tournament, and includes arenas set throughout time and a final arena in a SKY PALACE. There you play Zeus, another team, who are drinking “ambrosia,” which is basically just a whole bunch of PEDs to make them better at the game. They’re juicing! In this relatively wholesome soccer game!

Gameplay includes scouting, recruiting new players by beating them in battle. In actual soccer games, when you run into one of the opposing players, it initiates a command duel, which has its own series of moves and actions you can take as part of it. Normal soccer rules apply with substitution and number of people on the field. It’s honestly impressive how deep it all goes. It’s not something I would recommend to non-RPG players, but fans of the genre should absolutely give it a spin.

Golf: Ribbit King (Nintendo Gamecube)

Honorable Mention: Desert Golf (Mobile)

Before I get into Ribbit King, a quick note about this honorable mention — Desert Golf is a simple never-ending golf game that came out on iOS and Android and doesn’t have much going on for it ... which is part of the reason it’s weird. The game has no explanations, no anything but a ball and hole, and some hills. I played it through a couple thousand holes. There are things about it that I will not talk about in case readers want to try it for themselves, but suffice to say when the game became a hit, a lot of people had a lot of discussions about secrets or things hidden in the procedurally-generated game.

Now, back to Ribbit King, an extremely under-appreciated golf game where you play as a person, or what appears to be a picnic basket(?), and you’re hitting catapults holding frogs with your mallet to launch said frogs around a course filled with flies, hazards and extra points. When you hit the frog, it will then hop upon landing, and how much hopping is dependent on powerups you’ve used, your swing, and the stamina of the frogs, which you can replenish with items.

Strictly speaking, since I strive for 100 percent accuracy, I will of course note that the game does not refer to it as golf, but Frolf.

It’s a weird game. There’s a full story mode with voice acting, and it’s as weird as you can expect. You play a carpenter named Scooter, and you’re trying to become the Frolf Champion, so you can win the Super Ribbinite, a fuel source needed to save your home planet. There’s also a sentient rock pile, gumball machine and karate-using panda.

The game is a successor to a Japan-only Playstation game titled Kero Kero King, which I played way back when but never knew about Ribbit King until the past year or so. I’m glad to have found it.

There are so many weird games for these sports I didn’t even get to mention — Cyber Baseball 2020, Mega Man Soccer, Blitz: The League, Zany Golf, like 40 other crazy baseball games and so much more. Sound off in the comments on what I missed and your predictions for the next batch of weird games.

[plufim]

E3 2017 predictions

E3 predictions

In general these come from my thoughts, but also include ideas I’ve heard floated around the web which I completely agree with. Avoiding the already announced/leaked stuff, since that’s not fun!

I’ve sort predictions for all main presentations into 3 different categories based on likelihood (“Lock it in, Reggie” (very confident), “50/50” and “swinging for the fences” (super unlikely but I gotta go all in)). Also, because I’m Connell, this skews Nintendo, but I do have thoughts on everyone! And almost entirely positive ones!

These are in order of the presentation times, hence Nintendo being last. Oh, and a shadow drop is an unannounced game or feature being available for download immediately.

General Predictions/Trends:

- One final push for remastered collections.

- The PC gaming show will be a shit-show again.

- After “Seven Nation Army” did so well for the Battlefield 1 trailer, at LEAST 3 other trailers will use a contemporary song for a game set in another time.

EA:

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Need for Speed will have a Cops vs Racers mode. Because it is always the best thing. Shutting down fools for daring to turn MY roads into a race track is always the best.

- FIFA presentation will not mention the Switch version at all. Info will only be turned up at the show floor, with 2-3 units available. There will be a very simple token minigame so they can justify it as being “built for switch”, but it is 99% the PS3/360 version.

50/50:

- Mass Effect 1-3 Remastered collection, for PS4 and Xbox one. Designed to win back trust from gamers who were burned hard by Andromeda, which really damaged the brand. This leads to my further prediction (not for this though) that ME5 then connects both stories together, where the Andromeda crew find a device that allows them to send a message with information back in time to Shephards brain and bam, you’re playing with the character’s people liked again.

- Sim City. It’s been long enough since the last Sim City, which was disastrous. Time for EA to show they learned from their mistakes and can take on city: skylines

 Singing for the fences:

- Mass Effect Trilogy also for the Switch. Despite the only support being a terrible FIFA game thus far, the actual sales of the system will be seen as an opportunity… to sell old games again with very little extra work. Perhaps some token amiibo functionality in the character creator.

Microsoft:

Obviously, this will be all about Scorpio. Every game will make a point to include something about how the Scorpio version is enhanced. Also apologies, don’t really have much

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Forza 5.

- Scorpio will have VR featured heavily

 50/50:

- Scorpio’s final name will be: Xbox Scorpio. Microsoft is done with numbers.

 50/50:

- It will be revealed that Scorpio, unlike PS4Pro, will have games exclusive to it.

 Swinging for the fences:

- Crackdown demo shadow drop

- Exclusive John Wick videogame for scorpio

- BATTLETOADS

Bethesda:

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Wolfenstein Titan(?) official reveal.

- Prey DLC chapters.

 50/50:

- Switch Skyrim has Zelda content in it. Because why else would someone pay $60 US for this game for a third time?

- Elder Scrolls VI revealed. Will feature at least 2 of the regions. Possibly Elsweyr and Valenwood

 Swinging for the fences:

- Elder Scrolls finally bring back the Dwemer, either by reviving them or setting it in the distant past.

Ubisoft:

So… most of this conference is already leaked, but still…. Uh… hm. Well here’s a few somethings.

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Rabbids/Mario will have a CG teaser. Gameplay saved for Nintendo.

 50/50:

- On stage reveal for Farcry will include not only making fun of the people who got so angry that the villians are a white Christian cult, but there will be an embarrassing on-stage play where people pretend to be storming the stage to protest the treatment of horrible people.

 Swinging for the fences:

- A switch exclusive Assassin’s Creed side-story, much like they did for Vita around Assassin’s Creed 3.

- Rabbids/Mario features a cover of “All Star”, covered by Rabbids themselves, because this game will be drowning in memes. And I will hate this while secretly loving this.

Sony:

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Sony saves IO interactive, Hitman 2 will be PS4 exclusive. Microsoft SHOULD do this, but… this feels more like a Sony move.

- MASSIVE Spiderman blowout, including a lot of show floor stuff. Playable demo. No tie in to the movie, but instead a new story with Goblin and the sinister 6 as the villians. And there’ll be some shitty day 1 pre-order crap, probably involving a Black Cat side story. F4 will cameo, but play no major roles – however Insomniac will be building a shared games universe. Yes, even with the Squaresoft stuff.

- Bloodborne 2. It will happen.

50/50:

- A real, honest to god Kingdom Hearts 3 trailer, with worlds revealed, including Moana and Frozen.

- Shenmue 1+2 Remastered announced. With Shenmue 3 delayed (and that having been inevitable for some time), this would be a smart move to capitalise on the clear demand for more Ryo.

- Another Last of Us Part 2 teaser, but no gameplay yet.

- English Dragon Quest XI release date, mid 2018.

- Red Dead 2 trailer, first with actual gameplay. I also think this will reveal that Zelda-like free climbing is being implemented.

 Swinging for the fences:

- The vita returns as a phone. The switch has shown portable games are still viable, vita has some life in Asian territories, and Sony want to keep the remote play train going. Destined to still fail? Probably! But let’s not let reality kill HYPE.

- Last of Us Part 2 prelude chapter available now, for free. One hour of set up, basically a demo. But that’s what they do to get the kids excited.

- Spyro Trilogy remastered. Activision gotta do something with the guy.

- Red Dead 2 trailer showcases a train heist. I LOVE train heists.

Nintendo:

In general, there won’t be much or any 3DS. They’re getting a lot of that out of the way this week already.

Lock it in, Reggie:

- Xenoblade 2 is not delayed, December 2018. Playable on show floor.

- Mario Odyssey for October 2017. Massive show floor presence.

- Mario Kart DLC, same format as for WiiU – 2 packs of tracks, but this time it’s 8 racing and 2 battle tracks, as well as 3 characters and karts each. A shadow drop of the ability to buy the

- Zelda DLC part 1 shadow drop. Teaser for the rest of the DLC.

- Picross Switch, available now. Not Picross 3D though, they’ll hold off on that.

- Rabbids/Mario gameplay demo

- Dragon Quest XI for Switch officially announced

- Everyone on stage will wear goofy hats because of Mario Odyssey, because hats is a big thing in that game. Hats will grant abilities.

- Splatoon 2 test fire round 2 will be announced to begin the next weekend, with significant tweaks.

- New ARMs content announced, with new ARMs avaialable immediately and

50/50:

- Massive update to switch UI, shadow dropped. Includes multiple UI styles, with Badge arcade built in for further customisation, folders, linking to old Nintendo friends lists, musical themes. Further themes will be on eshop going forward, like 3DS. And finally, this also includes the new online system, hence the new details revealed about it last week.

- Animal Crossing Switch. Early 2018, with much improved social features. Massive amiibo functionality, much like New Leaf now has. It’ll have a new hook, not sure what though. My guess is some Sim City style mayoral stuff like setting up and supplying utilities.

- Warioware Switch, holiday 2017. It’s been a while for the Rhythm Heaven/Warioware team. I NEED THIS ONE NINTENDO.

- Smash Brothers 4 Switch, Q2 2018, rereleased with the best levels from the WiiU and 3DS levels, plus an expanded single player mode. It’s just too crowded for this game yet, but they don’t need to hold off for too long, because it’ll be an evergreen. There will be a teaser though, starring Inklings, Ice Climbers and Spring Man.

- Mario Maker Switch for Q1 2018. It can’t release this year, it needs space away from Mario Odyssey. The game will include a new “switch” block which when hit in game alternates the game style. There will also be playable Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad for each game type, each with different styles, and a different switch block or pipe that changes your character mid-level.

- Skyward Sword HD for switch, with optional non-motion controls for boring people. Q2 2018.

- Partnership with Activision to make an Amiibo action game. You might think this is a swing for the fence, but: Toys for Bob is out of a gig right now. And this would sell better than any recent Skylanders game. Activision would release special versions of select characters, so they can get their cut from the toy sales.

- Donkey Kong Country Returns 3, Q1 2018, by Monster Games. They’ve been quiet for a while, they ported Returns to 3DS, they assisted Retro on Tropical Freeze, this is what they’ve been working towards.

- Dead Cells announced for Switch.

- Layton Collection announced… for phone. Lady Layton western release date.

- Retro’s game. And it’s NOT Metroid, but a sci-fi Western RPG.

- This is a long shot, but T2 is relatively impressed by the switch, so: GTA5 for Switch. With a chunk of the DLC included.

- Switch Sports, holiday 2017. The return of the king. All the games as released for WiiU, plus a few from Wii Sports resort (airplane), with additional modes for each sport. I do have a “swinging for the fence” on this though…

 Swinging for the fences:

- …Wuhu World. Remember Pilotwings 64? Where Little USA was a huge island with different activities, sights to see, and so on? Well, take Wuhu Island, scoot up the detail and resolution, include the small surrounding golf islands, and add a few other themed islands the same size as Wuhu (snow island, city island, etc). It’s a free game where you get the islands and one activity per island, and can walk/drive around each island. Dotted around each is various locations that count as home bases for various sports/vehicles from Wii Sports, Pilotwings and some new items. Each of these is paid, and comes with various different modes and missions. This could be further expanded over time, and allows Nintendo to make money from series that could no longer be sold alone.

- Mario Kart DLC includes mission mode, which is available day 1 with missions on existing courses and expands with the DLC.

- New 2D Metroid by a small team from within Retro. There is a 3D game teased to be in the works also, but not from Retro.

- Splatoon 2 Octoling content and Amiibo, including Octoling mascots. I need this, Nintendo.

- EXCITE. TRUCK. 2.

- Nintendo Pinball. Remember Pokemon Pinball? And Metroid Prime Pinball? That but across multiple Nintendo series.

- Sonic and Mario All Stars Racing Transformed. Sumo has to have been making something aside from Snake Pass, and Sonic Racing 2 sold extremely well on the switch.

- Assault Android Cactus Deluxe for Switch. I believe in you Tim! Even if you aren’t even attempting this!

[imagine-that-one-thing]

Vegas, baby.

A night in Vegas was an idea on your behalf; you were joking around with your soon to be husband while trying to clasp his attention to take him away from his football game he was thoroughly getting into. When more than half his attention and energy is put into watching some football game, he is unbelievably hard to talk to, but incredibly easy to mess with and lure him into committing to things he otherwise would generally contemplate. While he was muttering under his breath a string of cuss words, words you hate being uttered in the house, but you made an exception for sporting games. You intrigued his attention when the words 'vegas,' and 'bachelorette party,' ran off the tip of your tongue. 

He turned away from the action of the football game, his eyes shining blindingly over at you, a smirk forming on your lips. For a moment he frowned, a clear inkling he does not like the concept of you in Vegas for your bachelorette party while surrounded by god knows how many other bachelorettes with the same idea as you. He has seen far too many movies to know that Vegas and bachelorettes is not an idea he wants for you. 

"Next you are going to ask for male strippers while you sit in a high rise hotel in Vegas after you lose money with your terrible poker skills." He commented, his eyes promptly glancing over towards the television to check the game.

 "Wow, you do listen to what I say when you are watching the game." You chuckled, amused that he turned his attention towards you rather expeditiously.  

"Mhm, I listen.. Every now and again." He admits, adjusting his position on the couch, taking a quick drink of his beer before turning back to you. "So, you wanna go to Vegas?" He questioned, seeming intrigued by your idea. 

Little did you know that your cheeky ways of trying to get his attention would lead the two of you in Vegas holding a bachelor and bachelorette party, along with a Vegas wedding- of course with a proper wedding that isn't held in an elope like church and a man dressed as Elvis. 

If the celebrity-filled nightclubs, exotic cuisine and top-notch hotels in Las Vegas wasn't enough to fill your heart contently, or the indoor glow-in-the-dark, KISS-themed miniature golf course, the warmth of the air and the bustling of eager tourists and happy couples is more than enough to make you smile. 

Your eyes gleam down at the view from the top floor of the hotel room, your eyes mesmerized by the reflecting brilliance lights of the big city.

 "Ya ready to have fun?" Your soon to be husbands voice examines from the softened California King bed accompanied by several pillows. You turn to see him sprawled out on the bed, his hair dropping around his face, soft curls falling appealingly around his face. 

"Yes, are you?" You smile blissfully, curious as to what precisely he has planned for the evening. 

The two of you are yet to discuss the full adventures of the celebration, all you know is you are not allowed to see him once you leave the hotel with the girls; the girls' and his crew of men made a pact to keep the two of you away from each others parties promising the two of you that at no time will strippers be involved. For some reason you don't fully trust Harrys crew of groomsmen to keep him completely out of trouble and away from strippers and gorgeous women; the men are always up for a laugh, and what a laugh it is to stick your soon to be husband in situations where he can knit his brows, crinkle his nose, and try to hide his smirk while his friends get a hoot out of his embarrassment.

 "I'm ready," he confirms with a nod, "any idea what is planned?" He questions as you take a few steps closer to the bed, carefully crawling on the bed, feeling the comfort of the hotel bed. You shake your head, having no clue to what is planned, you have an idea that the night will be full of laughs, alcohol, inappropriate jokes, and presumably inappropriate props. 

"It's not too late to just let the others run wild while we run wild in here." He pets the empty space beside him and you roll your eyes at his comment. You press a kiss to his cheek,

 "we are having our parties." You inform him, watching as he heavily sighs, pouting his lips playfully in an attempt to lure you into covering his lips with kisses. "Kiss me." He instructs, graciously wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer. You give into his demands, kissing him sweetly, promptly being interrupted as a knock on the door to the connecting room sounds. Harry groans and pulls his lips away from yours, "come in," he calls, the door opening and Harry's sister stepping in and closing the door behind her, "this better be important." He adds, looking towards her to find out what she wants. She points to you, a smirk painted across her face as she holds up a black dress in one hand and a pink sash in the other. 

"You need to put this on," she gives precise instructions, placing the dress and sash on the bed, "and throw on a pair of heels," she goes on saying, making a quick inspection in the surrounding area of the spacious room. 

"Remind me again why you're the one in the connecting room?" Harry calls into question, his fingers subtly drawing circles on your side while his arm is draped around you.

 "Because nobody else was brave enough to take the room next to the love birds with thin walls." She smiles, causing you to bury your face into Harry as you chuckle, dimly embarrassed.

 "Whatever. No strippers, no men, not too many drinks, and please for the love of God do not do anything that'll end anyone in jail for a night." Harry entrusts his sister, unsure of how wild she intends to get. With a laugh she rolls her eyes at her protective brother, 

"don't worry. I only have male strippers dressed as fire men waiting in the lobby. C'mon love, we are on a schedule. Get dressed, don't forget the Tiara." She beckons over to the tiara she must of placed on the small table by the connected door as she entered. 

She leaves the room and you pull away from Harry, getting off the bed and inspecting the dress. With tall black heels, a black cocktail dress hugging your body, and the pink sash hanging around your body you gaze at Harry as he buttons up the his shirt. 

"Promise me you'll behave." He looks over at you, admiring you as you smile in your dress, showing off your long legs.

 "Of course." You take a step over to him, "nothin' to worry 'bout. I'll try not to drink too much." You assure him, pressing a small kiss to his lips, "no promises on the gambling down in the casino." You wink, quite excited to play a round or two down on the poker table. 

"Mhm, keep yeh clothes on this time while playing poker," he reminds you of the one time you two played strip poker in the comfort of your own house, accompanied by a bottle of wine.

 "I'll do my best." You chuckle, "you do the same." Harry shrugs while smirking, his eyes beaming down at you, his finger fiddling with one of the last buttons, 

"no promises," he impishly responds.

 "Don't take your clothes off unless it's for me." You whisper, leaning up and kissing him deeply, your tongues tying together. 

You pull away, leaving him wanting more as he glides his finger across his bottom lip, further smearing the remains of your red lipstick. 

"Gotta go, I'll see you at some point." You chime, heading towards the door, "oh, and baby don't forget to wipe your lips." You inform him of the lipstick smeared across his tempting lips, ready to emerge yourself into the sins of sin city.

After a night of partially completed a "I dare you" to do list, full of a few different dares, ranging from getting a guy to buy you a drink, dancing on a bar top, getting a hug from a bald guy, and holding a penis toy in your hand while walking to a different bar, you finally find yourself laughing and slightly stumbling around the hotel casino. Harry's sister hands you another shot as you sit in a private lounge with your bridesmaids, 

"no, I promised Harry I wouldn't drink too much." You shake your head, knowing that you're already tipsy enough and you don't need to become drunk.

 "C'mon, one more." The girls all cheer you on through their giggles of tipsiness. You shake your head, kindly declining,

 "Let's head to the tables and show these gamblers how us British like to play." Gemma hands the shot glass off to one of the other ladies, instantly ushering everyone over to the gambling section. 

Your ears ring with the sound of slot machines and chips clinking amongst tables, high rollers eagerly watching their opponents in an attempt to call their bluffs. You play for a bit at the tables, losing every so often but gaining back your losses over time— meanwhile the girls continue to drink and stumble over their own heels, giggling as they place bets and at random times win. Gemma hovers over you, watching you carefully. You turn to her and smile,

 "play." You instruct, forcing her to play a round. At first she's skeptical, she's an adventurous person, the more of a thrill seeker between her and her brother; Gemma doesn't usually play it on the safe side like her brother. But, for some reason she's holding back. "Don't be mad that you lost, it's just your first time. Keep playing." You gesture towards the cards on the black jack table, Gemma nods slowly getting into the game. 

When you see her having fun and bouncing up and down when she finally wins more chips, you give her a small smile, 

"I'm going to the room, stay and play." You beckon towards the game, 

"No, it's only four in the morning and I'm not allowed to leave you alone." She disputes as you glance around at the other ladies cheerfully playing at different tables. 

"I won't be alone." You assure her, deciding it's time to break away from the bachelorette crew and let them have their own fun that isn't revolved around you. 

"You cannot find my brother, I made a deal with Niall." She shakes her head adamantly. You raise your brow, smirking as you look at her, 

"no, I know what you're thinking. My brother gives me that same look, no." She shakes her head, reading your mind almost instantly, 

"Niall, huh?" You wink, mannerly nudging her mischievously while she rolls her eyes and tries to hide her blushing cheeks, 

"don't even start this teasing thing." Gemma chuckles, crinkling her nose just like her brother does. 

"Have fun and try not to get too close to Niall tonight, Gem." You wink, walking away from her and walking amongst other late night players and partiers as they gamble and drink their night away. From what you gather, it's like one big party that doesn't end, there's never an area that's empty. 

Your eyes spot a tall figure accompanied by five other men while they're gathered around a poker table along with six others. You walk over to the table and take a seat across from Harry, filling the poker table. He doesn't notice you straight away, being far too busy trying to peak at Liam's cards while Niall and Louis laugh at some kind of joke. Harry's step father is the first to notice you, giving you a nod and a smile as a polite way to say hi. 

As soon as the game begins Harry's eyes meet yours, instantly he smiles and gives you a wink. He struggles to keep his eyes off you, taking no notice to Niall peaking over at Harry's cards. He has a cheeky grin on his face, his eyes are glistening as he gives you a little wink miming a quick, "I love you," before the dealer reveals cards on the table. 

A few hands go past and the boys' are enjoying their winnings, the other men at the table becoming frustrated as they seem to continuously lose to one of the of the boys. The dealer flops the last card and you and Harry are the only ones left who haven't yet folded. 

"Uh oh, this could be the end to a soon to be wedding." Louis teasingly nudges Harry as he peeks over at his cards, 

"Lad, raise the steaks." Niall chuckles as Harry grins over at you. He isn't the best poker player and to be honest neither are you. 

The last time the two of you played poker you were both tipsy and taking your clothes off. 

"To what? She's my soon to be wife, I can't raise them." Harry shakes his head and you instantly roll your eyes,

"Play, it won't hurt my feelings." You assure him with a luring smile, hoping he doesn't call your bluff. He looks at the boys and they all look over at you, attempting to read your poker face. 

Harry places his cards down in defeat, folding the hand instantaneously awarding you the pot of chips. 

"I'm done boys, goodnight." You stand from the table with the chips in your bag. Harry stands as well, 

"ah no, yeh not leavin' we aren't finished." Louis shakes his head at his mate. Harry rolls his eyes and places his hand on Louis' shoulder, 

"I'm raising my steaks elsewhere, you lot keep playing." He mutters, leaving his winnings at the table for the boys to continue. 

With a few whines and groans, Harry leaves his crew and takes your hand, 

"go have fun with them." You gesture, noticing the pouty lips on the boys as they all stare at the two of you, 

"I'm ready to go upstairs," he places a soft kiss on your lips, 

"We aren't allowed to be together." You remind him of the pact Gemma and Niall ultimately created. Harry shrugs, not caring too much about the promising pact Niall and Gemma created together. 

You and Harry find yourselves walking around the hotel, chuckling to yourselves as other couples stumble amongst the slot machines, every so often the slot machines ding with a winner.

 "So, why'd you fold?" You curiously ask Harry, referring to the poker game the two of you were playing. You watch as he smiles, a grin that is always charming to behold. 

"I had bad cards." He stutters, a clear indication he is lying. He's never been a good liar, there's always something about him that gives away that he's lying. Whether it be his stuttering tone, a slight had pressed to his neck as he gently rubs it, or nervous bite to his lip; Harry always does something when he's lying. 

"You're lying." You shake your head, knowing him far too well. 

"What makes ye’ say I'm lying, love?" He raises a brow as he sits down at a slot machine, 

"I know when you're lying." You shrug, sitting in his lap, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

 "You do know these machines are rigged, right?" You quickly add as he places money into the machine, 

"I folded because I knew I'd win, happy? And they may be, but I'm going to win." He mumbles, his free hand gently pressing to his side, 

"Wanna make a bet?" You question, deciding to raise the stakes, he nods pulling the lever and losing money to the machine.

"If I win, we go upstairs right now and raise the stakes in the bed." He whispers just for the two of you to hear, 

"and if I lose, your fantasy of tying me to the bed with my tie, will become a reality." He carefully murmurs in your ear, instantly intriguing your interest. 

You can't help but smirk at the thought of his tie become a prop within the bed...